#tomorrow it is back to full time fandom hours

[rootedinrevisions]

Kinktober 2024: Day 17

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I know it's not technically the 17th yet. But I just finished writing this one and I'm really excited for you guys to read it. I also know I have a lot going on tomorrow so not sure when I'll have time to post it, so posting it a little early! This is probably some of the smuttiest smut I've ever written so please let me know what you think as this one was kind of outside of my comfort zone!

PROMPT: "I want you to beg for it."

KINK: Degradation

WARNINGS: 18+ SMUT. MINORS DNI. (Degrading Language (obviously), Oral: Male Receiving, P in V Sex. Semi-Public Sex (Public Bathroom)

WORD COUNT: 3.3k

TAG LIST: See Comments Below

If you would like to be added to any of my Tag Lists please feel free to comment, send an ask, or send a DM and I'll be happy to get you added! Below are the fandoms I currently write for.

Glen Powell (himself and the characters he's played)

Top Gun: Maverick (Hangman, Rooster, possibly others soon)

Marvel / MCU (Bucky Barnes as of now, but possibly others soon)

WWE / Wrestling

The Hard Deck was buzzing with energy when you and Jake walked in, the familiar scent of salty ocean air and the hum of the packed bar immediately hitting your senses. It was always busy on a Friday night, but tonight seemed especially crowded. As you scanned the room, your eyes landed on two different bachelor parties gathered at the bar, their laughter loud and the drinks already flowing freely. The air was thick with excitement, and you could feel the playful chaos waiting to unfold.

Jake's hand slid over the small of your back, gently guiding you through the crowd. He leaned down, his lips brushing your ear, sending a shiver down your spine.

“Stay close to me tonight, darlin’,” he murmured, his voice low but full of intent.

You glanced up at him, catching that cocky grin that always made your pulse quicken. With the way his hand lingered at your waist, possessive but protective, it was clear he wasn’t in the mood to share your attention with anyone else.

You gave him a small nod, feeling the heat of the crowded room but more focused on the warmth of his presence beside you.

“Promise,” you said with a playful smirk, leaning into his touch just a little more.

Jake’s eyes gleamed with satisfaction as he led you deeper into the bar, navigating through the sea of people. The bachelor parties already seemed rowdy, but it didn’t matter. You were exactly where you wanted to be—right by Jake’s side, with a night full of flirtation, drinks, and maybe a little trouble ahead.

An hour into the night, you found yourself sipping on your drink, watching as Jake and Rooster engaged in their typical back-and-forth over a game of darts. It was all in good fun, but there was no denying the competitive edge to Jake's demeanor. Rooster came close to a bullseye, and you could almost see the challenge sparking in Jake's eyes as he lined up his next throw. He had to hit a perfect bullseye; anything less wouldn’t do. It was just how he was—always needing to one-up the competition.

With Jake caught up in his game, you decided to wander a bit. You spotted Bob sitting across the room, perched on a stool by the pool tables, nursing a drink. His easygoing demeanor always made for good conversation, and you figured Jake could live without your attention for a few minutes. After all, he seemed pretty absorbed in proving his point to Rooster.

As you made your way across the room, weaving through the crowded bar, you felt Jake’s eyes briefly flicker in your direction, but he didn’t call you back. He could get over it. Bob was a friend, and talking to him was hardly a crime.

“Hey, Bob,” you greeted with a smile, stepping closer to where he sat.

“Hey, how’s it going?” he asked, his eyes lighting up as you came closer.

The noise of the bar was almost overwhelming, so you leaned in, bringing yourself closer to Bob to hear him better. His voice was low, and the constant chatter and laughter from the bachelor parties made it hard to catch everything he was saying. You had to get even closer when Bob leaned in with a grin, telling you a lighthearted joke that made you laugh.

As you laughed, your eyes unintentionally drifted over to where Jake stood, still holding his dart. You immediately caught his gaze, sharp and narrowed as it honed in on you. There was a tension in his jaw that hadn’t been there before, and his grip on his beer bottle tightened as he raised it slowly to his lips. He didn’t look angry, but there was definitely something simmering beneath that cool exterior.

You knew he’d probably have something to say about it later—Jake never missed a thing, especially when it involved you—but it was harmless. You were just chatting with a friend, nothing more.

Still, the way his eyes lingered on you made your heart race, and you had to admit, a small part of you enjoyed knowing he was watching. Let him stew. You were having a perfectly pleasant conversation with Bob, and if Jake wanted to make something of it, that was his problem.

“You okay?” Bob asked, pulling you out of your thoughts.

You gave him a reassuring smile, brushing off the tension you felt coming from across the room.

“Yeah, just fine,” you replied, but in the back of your mind, you couldn’t help but wonder what Jake was thinking—and what he’d say when you inevitably ended up back at his side.

After excusing yourself from your conversation with Bob, you made your way toward the back of The Hard Deck, heading for the bathroom near the kitchen. It wasn’t the one most people used—the sign outside read “Storage,” and only Penny and the regulars knew the truth. You liked it that way; it meant privacy, a quiet moment away from the crowded bar.

Just as you were about to close the door behind you, a hand shot out, stopping it from shutting completely. Your eyes widened as Jake slid into the small bathroom with you, his expression unreadable, but the tension radiating off him was palpable. Without a word, he reached behind him, locking the door with a soft click.

Before you could fully process what was happening, Jake had you spun around, pressing your back firmly against the door. His body crowded yours, and you felt the heat of him as he leaned in close.

His voice was low, almost a growl as he asked, “What were you doing out there, huh? Getting all cozy with Bob?”

Your heart pounded in your chest. You tried to stammer out an explanation, but he wasn’t having it. His eyes bore into yours, the cool green intensity making it clear that he wasn’t in the mood for excuses. The look in his eyes sent a rush of excitement through you, even as you felt the weight of his jealousy pressing in.

“Jake, it was nothing,” you started, but he cut you off, his voice sharp and biting.

“Nothing? You think I didn’t see the way you were leaning into him? Laughing like that?” His words dripped with accusation, and the hint of anger in his tone made your pulse quicken. “Am I not enough for you anymore?”

You shook your head, trying to explain, but he pressed on, his words cutting deeper.

“What, you that desperate for attention? Couldn’t wait a few minutes while I beat Rooster at darts?” His hand slid down to your waist, gripping you firmly as he kept you pinned against the door.

The way he looked at you—like he was ready to stake his claim—made your breath catch. Part of you wanted to push back, tell him he was overreacting, but another part…a darker, more reckless part…was thrilled by the intensity of it all. You could feel the heat rising between the two of you, the air thick with tension.

“Answer me,” he demanded, his grip tightening slightly on your waist, his eyes never leaving yours.

You swallowed hard, the excitement and anticipation swirling inside you. You knew what was coming next—and despite the sharpness of his words, you couldn’t deny the thrill that ran through you at the thought of what was about to happen.

You batted your eyelashes up at him, letting your bottom lip slide between your teeth as you looked through your lashes. The intensity of Jake’s gaze didn’t waver, but you could see the flicker of something darker, something possessive in his eyes. Slowly, you trailed your hand down the front of his shirt, your fingertips brushing against the firm muscles underneath.

“Can I make it up to you?” you asked, your voice soft, with just enough sweetness to cut through the tension.

Jake didn’t answer right away, but the corner of his mouth tugged up in a small, smug grin.

He leaned in closer, his breath warm against your ear. “Ask nicely,” he murmured, his tone demanding, but smooth as ever.

Your heart raced at his words, knowing what he wanted, and feeling the power shift between the two of you. You swallowed your pride and looked up at him, your voice a little breathless, laced with submission as you asked, “Please, Jake… can I get on my knees for you?”

For a split second, he didn’t move. The tension hung heavy in the small bathroom, but then, his expression shifted—satisfied, pleased—and he gave a low chuckle.

“Good girl,” he murmured, brushing his thumb across your jaw. “That’s more like it. But let’s hear you ask again, this time even sweeter. I want you to beg for it.”

Your pulse quickened. You could feel the thrill coursing through your veins as you met his eyes, knowing exactly what he wanted from you. Your lips parted, voice trembling with need as you whispered, “Please… please, Jake… I’ll be good, I promise. Let me make it up to you.”

His grin widened as he looked down at you, clearly satisfied with your words. He stepped back slightly, giving you the space you needed, his hand gently guiding you down.

“Go ahead,” he said, his voice a husky drawl. “Let’s see just how nicely you can make it up to me.”

You did as he commanded, sinking slowly to your knees, the cool tile beneath you contrasting with the heat rising between the two of you. Your breath quickened, heart pounding in your chest as you looked up at him, eyes wide and filled with need. Jake's hand found its place at the back of your head, fingers tangling into your hair as he guided you down, his grip firm yet possessive, letting you know exactly who was in control.

Your fingers reached for his belt, fumbling only for a second before you quickly undid it, the metal buckle clinking as it came loose. The sound echoed in the small bathroom, and your anticipation grew. With one last glance up at him, you tugged the belt free and began working on the button and zipper of his pants.

Jake's eyes never left you, his lips curling into that signature smirk of his, dark and full of satisfaction. 

"That's it," he drawled, voice thick with desire. "Take your time, sweetheart. We’re in no rush."

You could feel the heat between your legs grow even stronger at his words, the dominance in his voice igniting something in you. But you didn’t want to take your time. You needed this—you needed him.

As soon as his pants were undone, you gently tugged them down just enough, exposing him to your gaze. The sight of him, hard and ready, sent a shiver down your spine, but you maintained eye contact, waiting for his next command.

Jake tilted his head slightly, watching you intently. 

“We both know you know what to do,” he said softly, though the authority in his voice was unmistakable. “Go ahead. Show me what a good little slut you are.”

With his permission, you leaned forward, your lips hovering just above him, feeling the heat radiating off his skin. The anticipation built, the intensity in his stare making you want to please him even more. Slowly, you began, letting your mouth do the talking, determined to show him exactly how sorry you were.

Jake’s hand tightened in your hair, a deep groan escaping his throat as you worked, the control still firmly in his hands as he guided you. His other hand pressed against the door, his body tense with restraint as you gave him everything he wanted and more.

"That's my little slut," he breathed, his voice low and filled with satisfaction. "Just like that."

Just when you felt the tension in Jake’s body tightening, signaling his release was near, he pulled you off him with a rough tug of your hair. A soft gasp escaped your lips as he yanked you to your feet, not giving you a second to regain your breath. His hand gripped your arm firmly as he spun you around, your hips hitting the sink with enough force to send a grunt leaving your body. But at the same time you felt a wave of excitement wash over you.

You barely had time to process the heat between you before Jake pushed you down, placing a hand on your back and bending you over the sink. The cold porcelain pressed against your palms as you caught your reflection in the mirror. His intense gaze met yours, his eyes dark with desire and control. You could see the smirk tugging at the corner of his lips, knowing exactly what was coming next—and exactly how much you craved it.

He wasted no time. His large hand slid up your thigh, the roughness of his palm sending shivers across your skin as he lifted your skirt, exposing you to him. You let out a soft whimper as he smoothed his hand over your ass, squeezing firmly before pulling your underwear to the side.

“You think you can get away with it?” Jake growled in your ear, his voice dripping with both frustration and lust. “Getting all cozy with Bob like that, knowing I’m watching? Being a little whore.”

You opened your mouth to respond, but all that came out was a small moan as you felt him press against you, his hard length rubbing between your legs, teasing you.

He leaned in closer, his breath hot against your neck as he spoke again. “You’re mine,” he whispered harshly, his hand gripping your hip tightly. “And I’m gonna make sure you remember that.”

With a quick thrust, he was inside you, filling you completely as you gasped at the sudden sensation. Your hands gripped the edge of the sink as Jake set a hard, relentless pace, each thrust pushing you further into the porcelain. The intensity of it made your head spin, his grip on you firm as if he needed to stake his claim in the most primal way.

You could feel the tension between your legs building again, the way he moved inside you pushing you closer to the edge with every stroke. His hand slid up your back, keeping you pressed down against the sink as he leaned in, his lips brushing against your ear.

"Look at yourself," he demanded, his voice rough. "Look at how good that pussy takes me."

Your eyes met his in the mirror, the sight of him behind you only adding to the intensity of the moment. The way his khaki uniform pants still hung low around his hips, the tight muscles of his chest and arms straining as he held you in place—it was enough to drive you over the edge.

Jake's hand slid from your hip to the back of your neck, holding you down as he pounded into you. "You’re gonna remember this next time you think about getting cozy with someone else," he growled, his pace becoming rougher, more demanding.

Jake’s hips keep moving steadily as he grips your waist firmly. You’re getting close, every nerve in your body coiling tighter with each movement, but just as you’re about to hit your peak, Jake's voice rumbles low in your ear.

"You're gonna have to beg for it," he says, his breath hot against your skin, sending a shiver down your spine.

You do as he says, your voice soft and needy, but Jake doesn't let up. Instead, he smirks and shakes his head, leaning in closer. "You don’t deserve it—not after your little stunt with Bob."

The pace doesn't stop. "Do you like this, huh? Getting fucked right here where anyone could walk in and catch you, bent over, needing me like this? Being my good little slut."

Your body betrays you, every bit of frustration turning into more want. 

Jake reaches up and one hand moves to your hair, grabbing a handful of it before pulling your head back sharply. He brings his lips to your ear and whispers, “not even Baby on Board would want a useless little slut like you. One that can’t even follow such a simple command such as stay close.”

You’re moaning his name at this point, your knuckles white from gripping the edges of the sink.

“Look at how good you take my cock. So good, baby. Just like the dirty little slut you are.”

Moments later you feel his grip on your waist tighten and his hips still as he releases his load inside you. 

“You like that, huh? You like being filled with my cum like a little slut? I want you to keep it there. I want it dripping down your thighs so every guy in this bar knows what you are.”

You’re panting and your release isn’t far off. You start moving your hips back against his, trying to close that last little bit to bring yourself to the edge.

But just when you think you might break, Jake pulls away, stopping all movement completely. He lets you linger there, your breath still ragged, the tension still crackling in the air. He doesn't say a word at first, just letting the silence speak volumes.

Then, with that same cocky smirk, he steps back and adjusts his uniform as if nothing had happened. He quickly zips and buttons his pants before buckling his belt. He glances 

"Maybe next time, sweetheart," he says, voice dripping with confidence.

He lingers by the sink for a moment, glancing at his reflection in the mirror. He runs a hand through his hair, smoothing it down to make sure it’s still perfectly in place as if to remind you how unfazed he is by the whole thing that just happened.

Satisfied with how he looks, he turns to you. "Pull yourself together before you come join me," he adds with a smirk, unlocking the door. 

With one last glance over his shoulder, Jake steps out into the bustling bar, leaving you to collect yourself in the quiet, the adrenaline still surging through your veins.

You splash cold water on your face, feeling the coolness soothe your flushed skin. You take a deep breath, adjusting your dress in the mirror, running your hands over the fabric to smooth out any signs of what just happened. With one final glance in the mirror, you do your best to compose yourself before heading out.

As you step back into the bar, the crowd feels a little more overwhelming than before, but you spot Jake near the pool tables talking to Phoenix and Rooster. The familiar sound of laughter from their banter draws you in as you make your way through the crowd toward him.

The moment Jake sees you, his entire expression softens. That cocky grin he usually wears shifts into something warmer, and without hesitation, he leans in, pressing a gentle kiss to your temple. His arm slides comfortably around your waist, pulling you close to him as if nothing else in the bar matters.

"Hey, baby" he murmurs against your skin, his voice low and affectionate. It’s a stark contrast from the intense energy in the bathroom, and the warmth in his tone settles any lingering tension.

As the pool game continues between him and Rooster, Jake stays close. Between turns, his hand is always on you—sometimes resting gently on your lower back, sometimes tracing soft circles on your side, just a quiet reminder that he's there, grounding you. Every now and then, he leans in to check on you, his gaze soft as he asks if you’re okay, but with just enough subtlety that it doesn’t draw attention.

It’s in these small moments that you feel the balance. The intensity from earlier has given way to something more tender, and with every touch, you’re reminded that Jake isn’t just about the bravado—he knows how to take care of you, even in the smallest ways.

[fluentmoviequoter]

Find Another Moment

Pairing: Jim Street x fem!SWAT!reader

Summary: Through a trip to find his mom, a series of explosions and executions, and an impromptu dinner date, you realize that you need Jim Street by your side all the time. Almost as much as he needs you.

Warnings: spoilers for 2x22 "Kangaroo" and Cinque story line from s2, angst to fluff, Karen Street being a bad mom, lots of comfort and love!

Word Count: 4.2k+ words

A/N: I shocked myself by making a rewrite that isn't chock-full of verbatim lines from the show! I hope you enjoy and please let me know what you think!🤍

Masterlist Directory | Jim Street Masterlist | Request Info\Fandom List

There are very few people you rush to answer the phone for. When Jim Street calls hours after your shift ends, you nearly trip over your feet to get to the phone and talk to him.

“Street, hey,” you greet when the line connects. 

“Hey, sorry for the late call,” he says. “But I, uh, I wanted to ask if maybe you could get another ride to work tomorrow? I know it’s late notice.”

“Sure. Is everything okay?”

Street sighs, and your worry and concern for him grows.

“You can talk to me, Street. You know that. But you don’t have to.”

“No, I want to,” he answers. “It’s my mom. That thing with the credit card information worked out and I got an address. Now that I know where she is, I can do something. I’m going to go check it out in the morning before I head to HQ.”

“No problem. Family comes first. If you want me to come along though, just wait in the car, I can. You shouldn’t have to do this at all, but it’s really messed up that you’re having to do it alone, Jim.”

You don’t often call him by his first name, so you hope he doesn’t take it as trying to force your way into his personal life. He gets enough grief from Hondo about his mom, and the last thing you want to do is make him think you want to interfere and give your opinion, too.

“Your decision,” you add. “But I can definitely call in a favor from someone else. And my car should be back from the shop this week, so I’ll finally stop asking you to chauffeur me.”

“I don’t mind. Just… with my mom, I don’t want to make anything awkward between us if she is there.”

“Street, there’s nothing that could happen that would change how I think of you or our relationship,” you assure him. “I understand if you want to go alone, though.”

“I don’t,” Street says softly. “I really don’t.”

“Then pick me up before you go. What harm can some moral support do?”

“Thank you.”

“What friends are for.”

“No, really. I don’t think you realize just how much you’re doing for me. Thank you.”

“Goodnight, Street.”

Street sits back and sighs. You said nothing could change your relationship, but after moments like this, he wants to be the one to change it. Being friends and teammates is great, but you could be more. And, for once in his life, Street wants to do something for himself, to be happy with you without any care for what others think. If his mother doesn't scare you away, by some miracle or chance of fate, Street will tell you that he has feelings for you. Then, you get to take it from there because Street has been manipulated too many times in his life to find comfort in causing others to rush into big decisions. Especially when his heart and happiness are on the line, too.

The following morning, you wait on the curb of your usual parking spot for Street. He seems nervous as he pulls in, and you hope that the moral support you came to provide eases him. You’ve heard the horror stories about his mom but haven’t talked to her extensively like some of your other teammates. If she is here, you’ll give Street room to do his thing and then navigate the rest as he instructs. Street is special to you, and you refuse to lose him by overstepping or pushing his boundaries. He’s your friend, and you stay there because if you lose Street, you lose everything that matters.

“This is it?” you ask.

Street leans over the steering wheel to look at the old, sinking apartment complex. People wander aimlessly around the building, and clothes and furniture hang from windows. A distinct sense of doom and gloom escapes through all the cracks and crevices, showing the building's age and lack of care.

“Come in with me?” Street requests. “Please?”

You nod as you open the door. As you walk toward Street, you have to step over broken beer bottles, cigarette butts, and empty nos canisters. At his side, you smile, trying to remind Street that you’re with him, no matter what.

Inside, you follow Street up a staircase lined with trash. The hallway at the top is dark and dirty, and the cheap laminate floor is peeling from the corners. No one deserves to live like this, you think as you notice someone sitting at the end of the hall, rocking back and forth.

Street slows beside an open door, and you stop as he pushes it open further. Music plays inside, and Street looks over his shoulder at you and nods once.

“Good luck,” you whisper. “I’m right here.”

You watch Street step inside, then turn slightly to see inside the apartment. It’s trashed and nearly unlivable, but Karen Street is sitting on the floor and laughing at an old cartoon. Your eyes move to Street as he tries to get her attention. A sound down the hall draws your attention momentarily, but you turn back quickly when Street asks who someone is.

“Bryce,” the unseen man answers.

“So, you leave the apartment and disappear for weeks without a word and starting using again ‘cause you chose this guy?” Street asks.

“Name ain’t ‘this guy,’ it’s Bryce,” Bryce says. “And you need to go.”

You can see Street, but not Bryce from your position in the hallway. When Street stands quickly, you step inside and watch as he shoves the man against the fridge.

“Okay,” Bryce pants.

“Hey, stop it,” Karen calls as she stands. “Stop it, stop it! Eddie, baby, please.”

While Bryce asks who Eddie is, you debate whether you should walk back into the hallway or try to help Street. When Karen hugs Street while talking to his father, you wait. You step toward him as he shoves his mom back.

“Oh, Jimmy,” Karen says when she realizes it's Street and not her husband. She pulls her robe closed and murmurs, “I’m gonna… straighten things up.”

She moves toward the kitchen, and you follow her, nodding at Street. You gently place your arm before Karen and smile when she turns toward you.

“Hey, Mrs. Street,” you greet softly. “I can straighten up for you, but why don’t we go somewhere else for now?”

“What’s she on?” Jim asks behind you.

“We took a mix,” Bryce answers. “A mix of a lot of things.”

“Maybe we could go get breakfast,�� you suggest. “Wouldn’t you like some time with Jim?”

Karen nods and turns toward Street. “I can make waffles,” she offers. “I might have to go to the store though.”

“I don’t want waffles, Ma,” Street answers.

Street grabs a blanket from the table and drapes it over his mom’s shoulders. “I’m taking her home,” he says as he places his hand on her back. “Bryce.”

You follow Jim and Karen for a few steps, then stop. “Bryce,” you call. “If I find out that the mix of a lot of things was your creation, I’ll be back.”

“It wasn’t!” he yells after you.

You wave your hand over your shoulder as you exit, leaving the door open behind you. When you catch up with Street, he’s almost back to his car.

“You take her home, I can call someone,” you offer.

“I’ll drop you off. Tell Hondo I’ll be late?” he replies.

“Sure.” Street closes the car door, and you catch his wrist as you ask, “Are you okay?”

He shrugs, and you nod in understanding. You squeeze his hand gently, then release him to get in the car. Street means more to you than he’ll ever know, and you’ll do everything you can, even covering for him to Hondo, to be here for him.

“Street, it’s me,” you say to the voicemail. “Hondo knows you’re running late, but I didn’t tell him anything specific. I’m going to the courthouse with Cortez. Um… if you need anything, let me know.”

After you hang up, you exit the car and meet Jessica on the sidewalk. She knows who you called, you’re sure of it, but you’re hoping that she won’t try to meddle or give you advice. The walk into the courthouse is a comfortable silence, which you’re grateful for. As you sit, Jessica speaks to the reporter on her other side, but you keep your eyes on the defendants before you. When they stand suddenly and begin chanting, you roll your eyes. They’ve been saying the same thing since they were arrested.

“The time to be good to each other has passed,” they add. “The system will be burned to ashes, starting with this courthouse.”

You look at Jessica as you lean forward.

“That’s new,” she says.

Outside the courthouse, people begin yelling, and you don’t hesitate to stand and walk toward the door. Jessica follows behind you, and when you enter the hallway to see Cinque on the screen, you stop in your tracks.

“Cinque,” Jessica says. “He must have hacked the feed.”

She raises her phone to film the live video, but you listen to Cinque rather than focus on who is with him or where he is. Hondo and the rest of your team will be watching back at HQ, but if you can help, you want to be prepared.

“So,” Cinque continues, “this time we don’t want money and we don’t want to bargain. We’re going to burn the system down and rebuild on its ashes.”

Cinque raises a phone and presses the screen. Several cars outside the courthouse explode, and you duck down as the people around you scream. Jessica pulls her gun and instructs people to move farther into the courthouse. You stay beside her and fight every instinct to run out and help the people closest to the explosion.

“Cortez, this isn’t over,” you say over the chaos behind you.

Jessica holsters her gun and pulls her phone out of her pocket. “He’s going to sentence a politician on live television every hour,” she tells you. “He’s just getting started.”

“That was the 4th Street bridge, but he’ll move. You need my team.”

Your phone rings before Jessica can respond. Street’s name on the screen is the best thing you’ve seen all day, you think as you answer the call.

“Street,” you greet when the call connects.

“Are you okay?” he asks.

“I’m fine. Cortez is good, too. No casualties here. How are things there?”

“Hectic. When are you coming back?”

“When am I coming back?” you repeat, looking at Jessica. She shrugs, it’s your decision. “I’m not. I’m going to stay with Cortez and keep an eye on everything here.”

“Be careful,” Street implores. “Keep me updated.”

“You, too.”

“Councilman Strub’s body, hanging from the 4th Street bridge, it seems familiar.”

“Figure it out, Street, we both know you can.”

“I have to tell Hondo all is good there.”

“I’ll see you later, Street. I promise.”

“I’ll hold you to that.”

Less than an hour later, you’re still at the courthouse when Cinque executes another politician. You don’t watch this time, but you text Street to be careful immediately after the broadcast ends.

Back at HQ, Hicks tells Street, “Get the rest of your team and go grab Cinque!”

“The rest of my team isn’t here,” Street mumbles as he and Deacon exit the situation room.

“I know you’re worried about her,” Deacon says, “but she’s okay. If we want to get her back here safely, we have to stay focused, Street.”

Deacon joins Luca as Street calls for Chris and Tan to visit the location of Cinque’s last IP address. As he works, Street realizes that Deacon is right and wrong at the same time. He doesn’t just want you back to be part of the team, Jim Street wants you by his side all the time. Having you at his side, as a teammate, when things are bad, is great, but that’s not all he wants. He needs more.

 After successfully saving Councilman Washington, 20 Squad is surprised to see Jessica back at HQ. Street, however, only looks for you.

“She’s still at the courthouse, waiting for things to settle there,” she tells Street. “Deputies didn’t mind the help.”

Street nods and watches Jessica walk to her office with Hondo. He’s glad you’re okay and safe, but he’d prefer to see you in person. You stepped up this morning to help him with his mom, and now, Street isn’t sure when he’ll see you again.

“We need to find Cinque,” he tells Luca.

“For personal reasons or the public’s safety?” Luca asks knowingly.

“Why not both?”

Your phone rings during a conversation with a bailiff. Jessica’s name on the caller ID makes you answer it before you even excuse yourself.

“Cortez, hey,” you greet. “Everything okay?”

“It will be. Cinque is in custody, and Deacon and Hondo are reviewing all the intel we have to find the last Emancipator. I need you to join me at City Hall, if everything is under control at the courthouse?”

“As under control as it can be. They’re understandably freaked about the explosions and the live broadcasts, but they can spare me. I’ll be there in twenty.  Do you think we’ll actually find anything or have to wait for another lead?” you ask as you exit the courthouse.

“I wish I had an answer for you.”

Before you leave for City Hall, you text Street to let him know where you’re going. You hesitate over the ‘Send’ button, then add, I’ll see you soon. It’s a promise.

“Find anything?” Street asks as he enters the situation room.

“There’s a live press conference at City Hall, we think it’s the next Emancipator target,” Hondo answers. “Cinque’s been planning all of this for a while. Was there anything going on at City Hall in the last year?”

“Let me see,” Deacon murmurs. After a quick search, he pulls up a record and photos. “They installed new security cameras four months ago, and the installation crew had to scan IDs to gain access to the building. And that work crew sure looks like our Emancipators on trial.”

“They used the installation job to plant explosives inside City Hall,” Hondo realizes.

Street’s phone buzzes, and he continues listening to Hondo as he reads your message and rereads it.

“Cinque likes an audience. Now he’s got one on live TV,” Hondo adds.

“Tell Cortez,” Deacon urges.

“She’s not the only one there,” Street says, looking up from his phone. “They’re both in a death trap.”

“Call her,” Hondo commands as he raises his phone to his ear. “We need everyone out without raising flags.”

Standing in the crowd at City Hall, you watch as Cortez turns to the side and answers her phone. Your phone begins buzzing immediately after, and you step back to answer the call from Street.

“The Emancipators are planning to blow up City Hall,” Street says, skipping his usual greeting. “Hondo wants everyone out.”

“Got it,” you answer.

“No, hey, listen to me. You get out of there.”

“Street, I will.”

“Don’t wait, just get out of there and come back here. Okay?”

“I’ll be back soon, Street. I promised, didn’t I?”

Now, you just have to keep that promise.

Back at HQ, Hondo preps 20 Squad, and they roll out in Black Betty less than five minutes later. In his seat, Street forces himself to pay attention to Hondo. If he doesn’t focus on his job, his mind will run rampant and make him think of everything that could happen to you.

When people begin exiting City Hall, the final Emancipator detonates one of the explosives hidden inside. You’ve strayed from Hicks and Cortez to make sure everyone gets out safely, and when the building shakes and the first explosion echoes through the halls, you cover your head.

“Go, get out of here!” you yell to a man in the same hall.

The explosion sounded like it was on the two-side of the building. Though you know the sound may have been distributed oddly and you could be wrong, you begin moving that way. Street told you to leave, but you’re this close; you can’t sit back and do nothing.

“Go,” you call as you run past civilians exiting doors off the hallway.

You near the two-side as the explosions continue, ranging in speed and location. Without communications with your team, you have no idea if the bomber is even in the building. Or anyone else, for that matter.

“22-David, Chris got the bomber,” Luca alerts.

“30-David to D-Team. Status,” Deacon requests.

“26-David, clear,” Street answers.

“25-David, clear,” Tan adds.

“20-David, all clear,” Hondo reports after a moment. “And I’ve got Cortez.”

“Just Cortez?” Street asks.

Street doesn’t wait for an answer before he rips his phone from his pocket and calls you. You don't answer, and Street runs toward one of the only standing entrances. As he enters the falling building, he yells your name, screams through the dust, ignores the burning in his eyes and throat, and climbs over the rubble.

“Talk to me!” he yells, feeling ready to collapse. Leaning against a pile of debris, Street yells your name once more.

Each explosion disorients you more. Between the dust, the noise, and how the closer explosions throw off your balance, you lose sight of the exterior wall and your escape. Instead, you focus on moving forward and keeping your hope of finding any door.

Someone yells in the distance, but you can’t decipher where they are. Everything is muffled, and your steps are growing slow and heavy in your oncoming lethargy.

“Street,” you whisper, reaching for your phone before remembering you dropped it while running past a falling pillar.

Your eyes flutter closed as you lean against a wall. Investigators will be inside soon, so you rest amongst the wreckage and consider simply waiting for them. Until someone yells your name, that is.

“Street?” you ask without opening your eyes. You try to imagine the voice in your head again, and the simple thought of Jim Street gives you the strength to stand. “Street!” you yell. You’re interrupted by a cough, but you call for him again and hope you aren’t imagining his presence.

“What can you see?” Street yells.

He sounds closer now, and you smile as you reply, “Dust!”

“Cute,” Street says, his voice quieter but clear.

You turn to the side, and your eyes widen when you see him. Street steps to you and pulls you against his chest, hugging you tightly. He cradles your head against his chest for a moment before he pulls back and lays a hand against your cheek to look at your face.

“Let’s get out of here,” he suggests. “You feel okay?”

You nod and agree, leaning against Street as he follows Luca’s radioed directions to a clear exit. In the light of day, you can see that you and Street are both covered in dust, but there’s no one else you’d rather have beside you for support. You like having him by your side, you realize, and you wouldn’t mind staying at his side even when you’re off-duty.

“Thank goodness,” Street sighs. “I thought I’d forgotten what you looked like without all the City Hall powder on you.”

“You stare at her enough it should be burned into your mind,” Luca teases as he waves at you. “Have a good one.”

“You too, Luca,” you call.

“You want to come over?” Street offers, pulling his backpack onto his shoulder. “I can make you dinner.”

You smile as you close your locker. “I really want to, Street. But isn’t your mom at your place right now? Don’t you need to spend time with her, before, you know?”

“Is that the only reason you’re saying no?”

“I didn’t say no,” you argue with a smile. “I don’t want to intrude, though.”

“Come with me,” Street repeats, offering his hand.

You lay your palm over his, and you know you are home. Your place has always been by Jim Street, and you’re finally seeing that.

“Go ahead,” you murmur at Street’s door. “I’ll either be here to take you to my place or I’ll come in later.”

Street nods and squeezes your fingers gently. As he enters his apartment, he sighs. “Hey,” he tells his mom.

“How was work?” she asks.

“It was good,” Street lies. You were in danger, it was terrible, but his mom has enough to deal with already. Not that he would have told her the truth anyway. “How you feeling, Mom?”

“My headache’s cleared away, so… Thank you so much for coming and getting me. Uh, thank your friend, too. You okay?”

Street doesn’t answer, his eyes straying to the door, where you’re waiting to be everything he needs and more. Not because you have to or feel some obligation or twisted sense of responsibility for him, but because you want to.

“I’m so sorry, Jimmy, that you had to see me like that,” Karen continues. “Sometimes your mom’s just pretty sick.”

The door opens, and Street doesn’t turn around because he knows it isn’t you.

“Mrs. Street,” Karen’s parole officer says, “I have to remand you back into state custody for parole violations. You missed several check-in appointments and were found under the influence or narcotics.”

“You reported me?” Karen asks Street.

“So that you can get treatment, get better,” Street explains.

“I can’t go back to jail. Jimmy, I can’t go back to prison, I can’t. After all I’ve been through and all I’ve done for you, you’re sending me back? What kind of son would do this to his mother?”

“The kind that doesn’t want you to die.”

You watch as Karen is led out of Street’s apartment. With her back to you, she never sees you, but you heard everything. The door is still open, but you knock regardless as you step into Street’s home. His eyes are on the floor until you enter, and then he looks up with sadness evident on his face. Jim Street has never been one to wear his heart on his sleeve, but with you, he’d rip it out of his chest and place it in your loving hands without second-guessing that you’d treat it better than he ever could.

“Jim,” you say softly. “I’m so sorry.”

Street gently grabs your left wrist, closing his fingers around your skin and feeling your pulse thump beneath his touch. With his other hand, he pushes the door closed. When you step closer to him, Street pulls you into his arms and drops his head to your shoulder. Carefully, you move your hands to rub between his shoulders while gently brushing through his short hair.

“You did the right thing,” you promise him. “You love her. Even if she can’t see it, you did the right thing.”

Street’s arms tighten around your waist, and you close your eyes as you hold him.

“What do you want for dinner?” Street asks against your shirt.

You chuckle at his sudden change of subject, but neither you nor Street move. The comfort, the peace, the love you feel at every point of connection you have with Street is better than anything you’ve ever felt or will ever feel in the future.

“What if we order from your favorite place?” you suggest.

“Why?” Street mumbles, his hands clutching the back of your shirt.

“Uh, because you like it.”

“No, I mean, why stay with me, be here for all of this?”

You gently push Street back to look into his eyes. With your hands on either side of his face, you smile and answer, “Because I want to be. Right here is the best place I’ve ever been.”

Street smiles, his dimples appearing beneath your thumbs at your honesty. With his hands at your side, Street leans his forehead against yours and sighs.

“I really am hungry,” he admits.

“I thought we were having a moment,” you tease, brushing your thumbs over his dimples.

As you look into Street’s eyes, you desperately want to kiss him. After everything that’s happened, you don’t want to make him uncomfortable or force him into something he isn’t ready for yet. So, you wait.

“You didn’t listen to me. When I told you to get out of City Hall… you were all I could think about and when we realized what Cinque’s crew was doing, I realized that I need you, all the time,” Street confesses.

“I thought you were hungry,” you whisper.

“You can’t have it both ways,” Street replies happily. “Unless you want it both ways, and then I’ll find a way to make it work.”

“I want you, Street,” you say. “Now and forever, I want nothing but you.”

“Even with all the drama?”

“And the trauma,” you affirm with a nod. “We all have pasts and baggage, Street.”

“Would kissing you immediately after sending my mom back to jail be weird?”

“Now that you’ve pointed it out, yes, it would.” You step back and suggest, “Dinner and then we try to find another moment?”

“Only if you’re in it,” Street answers.

[silverstar70]

Fandom: Criminal minds Character: Aaron Hotchner x fem!reader

Author's note: English isn't my first language, i apologize for any mistakes. This is set after 10x21 ending.

Summary: Hotch finds a way to deal with what Mr.Scratch and Y/N is happy to help and comforts him.

Warnings: 🔞‼️estabilished relationship, smut, rough sex, vaginal sex, consensual sex, voice kink, praise kink, orgasm control, spanking, vaginal fingering, non consensual drug use, mind control, hurt/confort, blood and violence, character death

Words count: 5,466k Hope you like it and let me know what you think! Enjoy it!

What do you want?

Hotch was sitting in the ambulance with Dave near him. He was trying to get him to talk to know what had happened in that house before they arrived, but every attempt was wasted. Hotch seemed to be on another planet. Y/N walked away from Morgan and JJ and headed to the ambulance. When Rossi saw Y/N, he went up to her, leaving Hotch alone.

“He didn’t say anything. Maybe you’ll get luckier.”

“I’ll bring him home and talk to him” he nodded and kissed Y/N goodbye on her forehead before leaving her behind and joining the rest of the team. She walked to Hotch and offered him her hand.

“Let’s go home,” she said softly. He looked up to her for a moment with his eyes full of pain and sadness but didn’t say anything. He just took her hand tightly than she expected and got up, ready for her to bring him home.

The car ride was silent. It was like Hotch wasn’t even there, Y/N occasionally looked toward him just to make sure he was okay. She was sick worried and didn’t know what to do to help him.

“Jack is staying with Jessica tonight. I thought it was for the best” she informed him but only received a mumbled okay. She kept driving until they arrived at his building. Parked the car and went straight to his apartment.

Once inside, Y/N went to prepare something to eat for both of them while Hotch crushed on the couch still fully dressed. Neither of them was hungry but they hadn’t eaten anything since that morning. When she was done, she put a plate in front of him with some leftovers and scrambled eggs but he refused to eat.

“Hotch, babe, you need to eat something. At least try, please” he remained silent once again.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” she asked caressing his cheek but only got a no as an answer. An hour passed and he still hadn’t touched his food. Standing, leaning against the wall that separated the living room from the dining room, Y/N was watching Hotch laying on the couch with his eyes fixed on the ceiling. She wanted to help him but all he was doing was shutting her out.

“You don’t wanna talk. You don’t wanna eat. What do you wanna do, Aaron?”

After a moment he sat on the couch and looked at her with a smirk.

“I wanna fuck you until tomorrow morning. You won’t be able to walk later.” He said serious, and kept looking into her eyes.

“I’m serious Hotch” At that he stood up from the couch and walked slowly towards her, not leaving her look.

“So am I,” he said with a low voice. He stopped a few steps away from her and he stretched out his arms against the wall. Y/N was trapped between his body and the wall, and his arms prevented her from leaving.

He bent his head forward, resting his lips on hers, but she coolly returned the kiss. His stubbornness was driving her crazy and she didn’t wanna give up that easily but, slowly, pleasure began to take place in her body. Hotch kept softly kissing her down her neck.

“I wanna hear you moan my name, Y/N” his low voice was making her wetter than she would’ve liked to admit. She was holding back her moaning whenever he kissed her and his look full of lust was begging her to give up. “I wanna make you cum so many times. You’ll beg me to stop.”

He kissed her one more time down her neck and then caressed her cheek gently. She wanted him right there and he knew it. He bent near her ear, while one of his hands found place on her hip.

“Don’t resist me, baby.”

A shiver of pleasure ran down her spine. She took his head in her hands, paying attention to the wound on his cheekbone, and kissed him intensely for several moments. He squeezed her against his body grabbing her by the hips and she felt his erection pressing against her. She jumped on him, wrapping her legs around his waist without breaking the kiss. He moaned in the kiss while holding her under her cheekbutts.

"Fuck, I love you so much,” Hotch said against her lips as he carried her to the bedroom.

“Then show me” she replied provoking him. He hurried to the room, slamming the door behind him with his foot and slamming Y/N against it while still holding her. While her hands were in his hair, he kissed her roughly on her neck. She moaned softly and every time she did that, she felt his hardening cock under her.

Hotch pulled her away from the door and laid her on the bed, covering her body with his. His look was full of lust and craving, his eyes dark and intense. She was almost afraid of it, yet excitement kept growing for them both.

A hand slipped under her sweater, and her body recoiled at his cold touch. He slipped off her sweater and threw it away, revealing her naked chest. She started to unblock his belt while he was kissing her leaving hickeys all over her chest and neck. She then started working on his shirt, which she slipped off and dropped to the ground. He unbuttoned her jeans and slowly slipped them down her legs, not letting her gaze go.

“You’re perfect” he whispered to himself. She was enjoying the view of him standing at the end of the bed, in all his beauty, and unintentionally she began biting her lower lip. He also removed her panties before settling between her legs. He was covering her body with his once again and bent on her leaving wet kisses on her neck. She wrapped her legs around his waist and her hands started traveling along his strong back.

“You’ll do everything I say, including when cumming” he whispered in her ear while one of his hands slipped between their body reaching her center.

“And what if I don’t listen?” Y/N answered back with a provoking smile. Hotch roughly pushed two fingers inside her, as deep as he could taking her by surprise. He started to move them in circle making her gasp while enjoying the look of pure pleasure on her face.

“You don’t wanna find out” he began to move faster, going deeper and deeper. He was enjoying himself watching her orgasm starting to build but didn’t wanna give her one so soon, he slowed down making her groan.

“You still have your pants on,” she said between moans.

“Don’t worry about it” he kissed her roughly on the lips before pulling out his fingers and tasting her. “I wanna please you before I destroy you.”

He pushed back his finger inside and began to move faster, building her orgasm. She moaned loudly and soon his other hand was on her mouth to stop her from being loud. She was so close to cum and he was torturing her.

“Please Hotch” she lamented.

“Please what? I didn’t say yet you can cum.” he kept going faster, back and forth. He was building her orgasms once again and she was desperate. She needed the release. He knew she was close; he was feeling it how she was clenching around him.

“Hold still.” She did what she was told but was failing, he decided to give in. “Cum for me, babe.”

She moaned out loud as a wave of pleasure was leaving her. She arched her back with Hotch’s fingers still inside her but he didn’t stop and started to move his finger again riding her orgasm. In mere seconds, she was close again.

“One more time, Y/N” he ordered in a low voice. That damn voice. She felt weak every time he used it. She came hard and loud for the second time that evening. Y/N felt like her body was leaving her and her mind went black. She loved how he made her feel, she loved even more how he made her cum.

When she calmed down, he pulled his fingers out and kissed her forehead softly. He got up from the bed and disappeared into the bathroom for a few seconds coming back with Y/N bathrobe’s belt. He took off his boxers and climbed on the bed pulling apart her legs so he could stand in between.

“Now, I wanna fuck you. And you won’t be able to touch me.”

That bastard. He knew she loved touching him, feeling his muscles tensing under her hands. He tied her wrists, not tight to hurt but tight enough to block her, and pinned them over her head with one hand. With his free hand, he slid his cock inside her, deep. They both groaned at the feeling.

Giving her very little time to adjust to his size, he started moving fast and deep for a severe measure of time. Holding her tight by her wrists, he bent over her groaning in her ears knowing she loved it. She was getting wetter and wetter and felt her orgasm building in her stomach. She was clenching around him which gave him a lot of pleasure, and he let her know by groaning louder.

“Aaron, please” she moaned “I-I’m close.”

He stopped and put a hand around her throat, without tightening.

“You’re not gonna cum yet.”

He pulled himself up and started fucking her again, going harder and deeper every time. With a devilish smile on his face, he was looking down at his lover being overwhelmed by pleasure and completely at his mercy. He loved her so much, he loved how she was letting him use her in that moment.

She was a strong and independent woman and never in a million years she would bend over a man's wants. But when it came to him, that was a different story. She loved to be dominated by him in bed and he loved doing it.

“My God, Aaron. P-please let me cum” she tried to say between moanings. With each thrust, she felt losing control over her body. He grabbed her hips tightly and moved faster, ready to give her all the pleasure. Giving her a nod, that was all the permission she needed to cum.   

“Oh, fuck” she cried out loud, almost losing her voice. Hotch slowed down but didn’t stop until she calmed down once again. He bent to kiss her gently on her soft lips as to remind her, her Aaron was still there.

The belt around her wrist had tightened too much due to her squirming so he quickly untied her and started caressing her wrist. She noticed the worry on his face and grabbed his head between her hands pulling him down, over her body, and kissed him again.

“I’m fine, honey” Y/N reassured him with a soft voice looking into his beautiful hazel eyes.

“You sure?” she nodded and received a quick kiss from him “Good. Because I’m not done”

He stood from the bed and helped Y/N do the same. Without giving her time to say anything, he quickly bent her over the bed pulling her legs apart. Standing behind her, he pulled her hips onto him and entered hard and deep inside her.

“You’ll be a good girl and not cum until I said so. Understood?” he asked her and when she didn't answer right away, he slapped her ass hard enough to make her gasp "Understood?"

“Yes, yes I understood” she replied in excitement and a little pain. She was sure she had his handprint on her butt but couldn’t care less.

“Good girl” she could imagine the grin he had on his face. He started pounding her again from behind, holding her hips tight. He was groaning in pleasure not afraid of being loud for her to hear it. She loved hearing him moaning, it was so erotic and greeting to know he was comfortable enough to not hold back.

The room was filled with their skin slapping against each other and their loud moaning. She was holding tight on the sheets to try to control her body and wait for him to give her the permission to cum. She was close, so damn close.

“Don’t. Cum.”

“P-please, Hotch” Y/N begged whispering, not being able to control her body anymore. He stopped abruptly, taking a breath, and giving her time to cool down. He bent over Y/N and started kissing her spine, from the lower back up to the back of her neck.

She shivered at the feeling, he was kissing her like she was the most precious thing made of glass. Hotch loved being rough with her but being able to connect just by simple touches, soft kisses, and small talking was something he would always love more.

“Cum with me” he whispered softly in her ear and she nodded. He stood one more time and interlocked their fingers taking her hands behind her back. He moved faster back and forth, never leaving her hands. Every thrust was perfectly placed, knowing full well what the effects on her body were.

She was craving the orgasm and Hotch couldn't take it anymore. She was clenching around him and he was fighting to gain some control. Seconds later she came hard followed by him.

“Oh God!” they groaned in unison. He released her hands and kissed her shoulder, gently caressing her side with his fingertips.

“Wait here” he whispered and gave her one last peck on her back before pulling out slowly, she gasped at the loss of contact but didn’t move. He quickly disappeared into the bathroom and soon she heard the water running.

“Let’s take a quick shower” he suggested reentering the room. Helping her get up, Hotch saw she was walking funny and smiled to himself.

“Don’t laugh. Aaron”

“I wouldn’t dare it” She walked past him with a death stare and headed to the bathroom while he was enjoying seeing the effects of the previous performance on her. Hotch suppressed a laugh and followed her.

They entered together in the shower with the water running on their body. No sexual touch was shared just soft petting, tender kisses, and so much love and admiration. He gently caressed the handprint he left on her ass while kissing her soft lips. Her hands were running throw his hair pulling him closer.

“Hope I didn’t hurt you.”

“No. I liked it” She smiled and his lips were on her once again.

They finished showering and went back to the bedroom where they put some clothes on. He was only in boxers and she was wearing one of his t-shirts and her panties. They climbed under the cover, with Y/N on his right side, tangled to each other.

With her head on his chest, Y/N could feel his strong heartbeat. It had always calmed her on the bad days, whenever she felt down, he was ready to comfort her and hugged her tight on his chest. It became a habit to fall asleep listening to his heartbeat and he was happy that it worked.

Before going to sleep, Y/N needed to make sure he was okay. She knew he wouldn’t want to talk but she hoped that after the amazing sex, he was more willing to do it.

“It was amazing” he broke the silence while playing with her hair.

“It really was” She looked up to him and smiled. Careful to his wound, she caressed gently his left cheek and looked for some sign of discomfort but didn’t notice any.

“It still hurts?” she worried. Hotch took her hand and gently kissed her palm before answering.

“Not much”

“Good. So…” she started carefully “Do you wanna talk about what happened tonight?”

“No” he answered back without thinking twice. She didn’t insist and let it go. Y/N knew he was scared and that he would have talked whenever was ready, but she also wanted to let him know that she was there for him, for the good and the bad.

“I don’t wanna force you, just know that I’m here for you. Whatever you need.” He nodded and went back to staring at the ceiling while softly petting her side. They stayed like that for what felt like hours, neither of them could sleep. He was too overwhelmed by what had happened that night and she was too worried that if she closed her eyes something bad would happen to him, again.

“He made me see things,” he mumbled after sitting on the side of the bed, with his back to Y/N. He was resting the head between his hands trying to control the tears that were ready in his eyes. He soon felt Y/N’s arms hugging him from behind and smiled when she kissed the back of his head.

“It’s okay, babe. It’s over now” he took a deep breath and kept going as she moved sitting near him, and turned to him.

“You guys were all death. You died because of me” Her heart broke at seeing him so vulnerable and hurt. One of Y/N’s hands was running toward his hair, while the other was caressing his hand. She was looking at him with a worried sight.

“What happened in that house, Hotch?” she asked carefully.

“I was sitting on the floor in the office, hurt and drugged. You went in separately a-and…” he paused for a second, scared to relive those moments “JJ and Reid were the first to die. He took them by surprise, they couldn't even defend themselves. Then he killed Rossi and Morgan”

He looked toward her and she saw all the pain in his eyes. He watched his team die in front of him but Y/N knew he wasn’t done. She wiped the tear that had fallen on his cheek and smiled softly when he kissed her knuckles.

“What happened later?” his eyes were glassy once again. He took him a few seconds before answering that.

“He killed you” he looked down, between his feet, not being able to bear her look at the moment “You had found me. You were there in front of me w-when he shot you. He shot you twice and your blood was all over me. I couldn’t help you. I couldn’t help any of you.”

Y/N hugged him tightly to her chest to make him feel her presence. He broke down and started crying in her arms pulling her even closer if possible. He needed to feel her, to make sure she was there in his arms and that it was real.

“It’s over. I’m right here, honey” Y/N tried to reassure him the best she could, caressing his back the way she knew he liked. Hotch calmed down after a few minutes and pulled out from the hug to look at her.

“It was so real. Watching you and the team die. The thought of watching my team die always scared me and now I get to see what it would look like. I know it’s a risk of the job but…I can’t lose you Y/N. Or the team. Not the way I lost Haley.”

“He got into your head. It was what he wanted, taking control. But you don’t have to let him do it again. We arrested him, it’s over. Don’t give him more power. I’m so sorry you had to go through that and I’m sorry I’ve arrived too late but please never doubt yourself.” She stopped for a moment to kiss him hard on the lips and to wipe away another tear from his cheek.

“You’re an amazing team leader, you always have your team’s back. They count on you, they respect you but more than this, they trust you, Aaron. As a leader, of course, but also as a friend. I know how you're feeling, I’ve been there too but I’m sure that when the time comes, you’ll do everything in your power to protect your team.”

Without hesitation, he leaned over to close the gap between them and kissed her lips holding her head in his strong hands. He deepened the kiss wanting to feel more of her. Laying her back on the bed, he was over her once again, but this time felt different. He just wanted to feel her close, nothing sexual, just a pure connection and innocent kisses and touches.

“Wanna go for it again?” Y/N joked.

“No. Just wanna cuddle” he answered honestly and she nodded. They climbed under the covers one more time spooning, and Hotch wrapped her in a tight hug around her waist holding her impossibly closer to him.

His mind was playing games with him and it would take a while to move on, but right there he was in peace. He had in his arms one of two of the most important people in his life. She was alive and safe and that was the only thing that mattered to him. He fell asleep minutes after her with a smile on his face.

*

The next morning, she woke up to his soft snoring and turned toward him after checking the time. The light of the sun coming through the window was still weak so they could stay in bed for a few more hours but no matter how much she tried she could not stay in bed anymore. Careful not to wake him, she headed quickly to the bathroom and then straight to the kitchen. Y/N was planning to make Hotch some homemade blueberry pancakes that she knew he would love.

She found everything she needed and prepared on the kitchen counter. There was always food at Hotch’s, unlike at hers. She was barely at home, not just because she practically lived with the Hotcners but mostly because she was always at work if she wasn’t with them.

She always put her job first, that was how she grew up. Y/N traveled a lot since she was a kid due to her parent’s job and then when she joined the Navy she just kept traveling around the world. She never had a place to call home, just empty houses. Never stayed in the same city for more than a few years and she was okay with it. She was more than happy to keep living like that and then she met Hotch.

For the first time in a long time, she stopped traveling and had a place that felt like home. It wasn’t easy at first, she wasn’t used to it but for Hotch was worth a try. She was enjoying her new life; she still had her job but it didn’t require her to travel that much anymore.

While thinking about her life, she finished preparing the pancakes and an hour or so had passed. She headed back into the bedroom and stopped in her tracks looking at Hotch. He looked peaceful and vulnerable and the sheet, that only covered him to his waist, left his scarred torso exposed.

She knew what had happened with Foyet but that hadn’t changed her feelings for him and she made sure to remind him how much she loved him and how sexy and handsome he was. He hardly believed he was sexy or handsome but secretly loved when Y/N told him.

She climbed back in the bed, carefully to not wake him, and stayed in silence for a few minutes just enjoying the view. She started placing a few soft kisses down his neck getting a low groan from him, she moved on the shoulder before straddling him. He opened his eyes slowly, even though his body was betraying him, and fully awake.

She leaned down to kiss his lips, attentively placing one hand on his wounded cheekbone. His hands through her hair were pulling her closer, deepening the kiss. She felt his body react under her and smiled at the sensation.

“Good morning, Agent Hotchner”

“Good morning, Lieutenant Y/L/N”

“I made pancakes” she informed him.

“It can wait,” he said smirking and without giving her time to reply, he rolled them over ending on top of her. She gasped at the sudden move but wasn’t complaining. His hands were wandering under her t-shirt, touching her tits and making her moan. Immediately he took it off and threw it away somewhere across the room.

He bent to kiss her neck and went down on her chest taking a nipple in his mouth and massaging the other. She arched her back and groaned at the feeling. He was good with his hands. He continued his way down her body, leaving wet kisses here and there on her torso. Once he got to her entrance, he moved her panties to the side and slipped a single finger into her wetness.

“You’re so wet, baby” she groaned begging him to do something, anything. He started moving slowly back and forth doing small circles but stopping right before the release. He wanted to savor the moment and had planned to do it by edging her.

“Aaron please?” she lamented pulling on his hair.

“Not yet”

He moved his finger up on her clit and began circling it, fastening the pace to his own liking, doing smaller and smaller circles but stopping as soon as she got too close to the edge. He began his assault with his tongue too making her moan at the sudden contact. Sucking hard for a few minutes before sliding two fingers inside her making it even more difficult for her not to come right away. Y/N was almost dripping as he was using his fingers to fuck her. When she begged for him, he stopped moving again.

“You bastard” she mumbled to herself. His erection was growing just by hearing her moaning. He needed to be inside her as much as she needed him. He went back over to her, she took his head and pulled him in for a kiss. Y/N could taste herself on his lips and moaned.

“I wanna make love with you, Y/N” he whispered against her lips. She smiled nodding, giving him the permission he needed before he slowly slid into her. Her body reacted like it was the first time like he hadn’t fucked her senseless the night before. They groaned in unison.

He started going slow and deep, making her moan loudly for hitting all the right spots. Y/N wrapped her legs around his waist to give him a better angle to go deeper.

“Oh God, baby” he groaned in her ear, feeling her get tighter around him. He started moving faster pounding her deeper, sending her over the edge.

“Oh fuck!” He didn’t stop, riding her orgasm to give her one more. She was holding onto his shoulders scratching them with her nails, as pleasure was overwhelming her body. He was groaning into her neck trying to gain some control.

“I-I’m close…” she came again within seconds and with a few more thrusts he came deep inside her, groaning loudly.

“Oh yes, baby” he rolled off her and laid on the bed, both trying to catch their breath. He pulled her on his chest and placed a soft kiss on her forehead. They stayed in bed for a little while, planning what to do in the next few days, deciding what to tell Jack about his father's wound and forgetting soon about the pancakes. The silence of the room was broken by Hotch’s stomach rumbling and they both laughed.

“There was a mention of pancakes, was it?”

“Oh yeah! They’re waiting for you. And so are the blueberries” he smiled widely at her at the mention of his favorite fruit. They headed together to the kitchen after putting some clothes on. While Hotch was sitting at the counter, Y/N was assembling their plates. Three pancakes each, with a few more blueberries on top and maple syrup.

“Don’t look at me like that, Hotchner.”

“Like what?”

“Like you want to fuck me right here, right now.” he laughed at the comment as she put the plate in front of him and sat in the chair next to his.

“I was just thinking how much I like this, having you around.” she blushed and smiled.

“I like this too. I like even more making you and Jack blueberry pancakes in the morning and spending the days with you. I never thought I would love this lifestyle but now I can’t live without it.” He smiled and took her hand in his to kiss it tenderly.

“I love you, Y/N”  

“I love you too, Aaron”

They shared another intense kiss when Hotch’s stomach rumbling interrupted.

“Now let’s eat because I’m starving.”

Once they finished, Hotch washed the plates while Y/N was sitting at the counter enjoying the view of his perfect ass and the way his t-shirt was perfectly hugging his back and biceps. She was daydreaming and didn’t notice that Hotch was done.  

“Now who’s the one with the “I wanna fuck you” look?” he moved back near her while mocking her and sat on the chair.

“Wait here” She disappeared into the bedroom and came back with a few stuffs he couldn’t identify and put them on the counter. “We need to clean your wound.”

Right. He had forgotten about it, but he didn’t have the time to protest that she was already standing between his legs with disinfectant and gauze in hand. She was quick and careful before putting a small band-aid on it. She kissed him on his forehead before starting to massage his temple, because she knew he needed but was too stubborn to ask.

“Thank you”

“You’re welcome. Just ask me whenever you need it”

“I-I meant…Thank you for being my rock, for respecting my boundaries, and for not forcing me to talk about last night. I could’ve done it without you. But I need to tell you something.”

“What?” she asked a bit worried.

“I didn’t have sex with you last night because I wanted to have sex but because I wanted to have control over something. I needed to have control over something. Peter Lewis made me feel so powerless and weak, he got into my head and used my biggest fear against me, and I was blocked, I couldn’t do anything to stop him. You were there and sex was the only thing I thought could’ve given me back some sort of control.”

He stopped and searched for some kind of reaction from Y/N but found none.

“I’m so sorry. I should have talked to you instead.”

Silence filled the room; she was still standing between him. Hotch was expecting the worst, you had every right to get mad and could’ve blamed you. For sure, he wasn’t expecting what happened next.

“Did it work?” the question took him off guard and gave her a questioning look. “The sex. Did it give you some control back?”

“Yes. For a little while at least”

“Then you don’t have anything to apologize for. If sex was what you needed, I’m happy I was there.”

“But..” he started but she interrupted

“No buts. You didn’t force me to do anything if this is what you’re worrying about. I was completely fine with it; it was what you needed. And I knew that if I ever felt uncomfortable you would’ve stopped right away, without even asking you. Am I right?”

“Of course. I would never hurt you intentionally.”

“Good” Y/N leaned quickly to kiss his lips and caressed his cheek “You’re a good man, Aaron Hotchner. Never doubt it.”

“Thank you”

“But if you ever forget it, I’ll be happy to remind you. In every way I see fit.”

He laughed and pulled her closer to him to share a passionate kiss, there in the kitchen. Oh, how much he loved that woman, never in a million years he thought he would’ve been so lucky. He had this beautiful woman in his arms who loved him as much as he loved her, and this scared him because he didn’t want to ruin things.

For a moment his mind went to Jack and thought of how much they’ve liked each other from the very first moment. Hotch loved watching the two of them interacting, Jack loved having her around. Sometimes it still felt like a dream, but it was very real. Y/N was there, and she was his. Well not yet, but one day he was going to marry that woman.

[moonlight-joy]

Drunken Ramblings

Fandom: Yellowstone

Summary: A late-night drunken phone call from Lee Dutton reveals his unfiltered affection for you, leading to a humorous and heartfelt morning-after conversation that deepens your bond in unexpected ways.

Pairing: Reader/Lee Dutton

The clock on your nightstand read 1:13 a.m. when your phone started buzzing. Groaning, you reached over to grab it, wondering who could possibly be calling at this hour. The screen lit up with Lee Dutton's name.

You frowned, sitting up in bed as you answered. “Lee? What’s going on? It’s late.”

“Ohhh, hi!” Lee’s voice came through the line, slow and slurred. “You picked up! I was hopin’ you’d pick up.”

You blinked, instantly realizing he was drunk. Very drunk. “Lee, are you okay? Where are you?”

“I’m fine,” he said, dragging out the word as if to convince you. “I’m just sittin’ in my truck. Parked. Don’t worry—I’m not drivin’. I’m responsible, y’know? Very responsible.”

“Uh-huh,” you replied, unable to suppress a small smile at the way his words slurred together. “What are you doing, calling me in the middle of the night?”

“Because!” Lee said, as if the answer were obvious. “I was thinkin’ about you. You’re always so nice to me, and you listen to me, and—and you’re really pretty. Like, stupid pretty.”

You felt your cheeks warm at his words. “Lee, you’re drunk.”

“Drunk and honest,” he countered with a laugh. “You don’t understand. You’re the best person I know. Like, seriously. I don’t even know how you put up with me.”

You shook your head, leaning back against your pillows. “I think you’ve had one too many tonight, cowboy.”

“Maybe,” he admitted, his tone softer now. “But listen—can I tell you somethin’? It’s really important.”

“Go ahead,” you said, trying to suppress your amusement.

“You’re like…” He trailed off, as if searching for the right words. “You’re like a sunrise. You make everything better. Even when it’s dark, you make it better. You’re like… the only person who makes me feel okay, y’know?”

Your chest tightened at the raw emotion in his voice, even if it was fueled by alcohol. “Lee…”

“No, no, I mean it,” he said, cutting you off. “You’re… you’re amazing. I should tell you that more. Like, every day.”

“You can tell me tomorrow when you’re sober,” you said gently.

“Deal,” he replied, his words slow and heavy. “But you have to promise not to hate me for callin’ you at… what time is it? Midnight? I don’t know. Doesn’t matter.”

“I don’t hate you, Lee,” you said, your voice soft. “Just get some sleep, okay?”

“Okay,” he murmured, his voice starting to fade. “You’re the best… Don’t forget that…”

The line went quiet, and you realized he must have fallen asleep. Smiling to yourself, you hung up and set your phone back on the nightstand.

---

The next morning, you were in the kitchen when your phone buzzed again. It was Lee, and this time, his voice was groggy and full of embarrassment. “Hey,” he said. “Did I… call you last night?”

“Oh, you did,” you replied, unable to hide the amusement in your voice.

Lee groaned. “What did I say?”

“Just that I’m a sunrise, that I make everything better, and that I smell really good.”

There was a long pause before Lee sighed. “I’m never drinking again.”

You laughed, shaking your head. “Don’t worry, Lee. It was cute.”

“Cute?” he echoed, clearly mortified. “Well… I guess that’s better than embarrassing.”

“Much better,” you assured him. “And don’t worry—I’ll let you make it up to me over coffee.”

Lee chuckled softly, the sound filled with relief. “You’re too good to me, y’know that?”

“Yeah, yeah,” you teased. “Just don’t let it happen again.”

“No promises,” he replied, his tone lighter now. “But I’ll try.”

And with that, the awkwardness melted into something softer, the bond between you deepening with each laugh and shared moment.

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[fandom-imagines]

Price taking care of future s/o (headcanons)

Fandom: Call of Duty

Pairing: John Price x Reader

Words: 1.2k

Warnings: Abusive relationship (readers ex), crying

Anyone interested in a full one shot of this premise?

Price knows your boyfriend isn’t good enough for you, you’re way too good for him and Price can’t stand seeing you waste your time on a man like your boyfriend, but he with himself that he’s simply jealous that you’re not with him.

He almost feels bad for wishing that you would come and be with him rather than your boyfriend, almost. He used to feel bad until he met your partner and saw just how bad he treats you.

You don’t see it, nobody would unless they were really good at reading people and relationships like Price is, especially those close to him, and you were close to him.

So, when you show up at his house in the pouring rain, tears staining your cheeks, one bruised with an obvious handprint, he immediately knows what has happened.

He’s raging internally, but he knows you need to be comforted first, and with gritted teeth and a frown, he opens his door to you and, in turn, his heart; not that you would know it yet, of course.

He asks what happened, despite already knowing, and lets you just vent to him. He knows you need to get it all off your chest and he doesn’t interrupt once.

Throughout it all, he’s listening to every word, squeezing your shoulder in a comforting manner, passing you tissues, and hugging you once you’re done and wiping your tears, apologies falling from your lips.

“Don’t be silly, love. You’re part of my team, you’re always welcome here. Just don’t let Laswell know, all right?” Whilst the last part is an attempt to make you laugh, it is partially true; she was already beginning to notice how he favoured you.

“Thanks, Cap.”

“No need to thank me, love.”

He’s glad you trusted him enough to come to him just as much as he’s glad you’re starting to smile. Oh, how he loves your smile.

A comfortable silence falls over you two and he just stares at you.

He sits there, admiring your beauty, both inside and out and it just clicks: he loves you.

“Oh fuck,” he mutters, so quiet that you don’t hear.

This isn’t good, he thinks to himself, but brushes it off for now; he needs to take care of you.

“I don’t know where to go, John.” You sniffle and he’s enjoying the way his name sounds on your tongue the same way he always does, and immediately offers you a place in his home until you’re back on his feet. He’ll even go pick you some things up tomorrow, so you don’t have to face him.

You’re hesitant, not wanting to disturb his peace and intrude on his home but one look from your captain has you agreeing; you could never be a burden to him.

He tells you to take a bath and gives you one of his biggest shirts and some shorts that he didn’t even know he owned and for the first time in a while, you felt good.

The night is spent with you two watching crappy telly and talking about anything and everything. You’re both on leave for the next month so it was oddly enough good timing, and you didn’t have to sleep in the uncomfortable bed on base.

Eventually, your words becoming slurred and slower and before either of you realise, you had fallen asleep on John’s shoulder.

His heart rate quickens, and he can’t stop the light blush on his face, but his main focus is making sure you were comfortable.

He does his best to relax, and once he was 100% certain you were asleep, he carefully adjusts you to lay on his lap, hand playing with your hair, enjoying the content sighs you let out, despite being asleep.

The mark on your cheek pains him to look at but he can’t help himself gently running a finger across the mark.

“I’ll never let him hurt you again,” he mumbles quietly, doing his best to not disturb you from your peaceful slumber.

After about an hour, he also ends up falling asleep, soft snores falling from his lips.

You’re the first to wake, eyes wide and cheeks hot, cursing yourself for falling asleep.

Price is still fast asleep, clearly having the best sleep he had in a while, despite not being in his own bed and you can’t help but remain in his lap, snuggling into his thighs.

The safe feeling that your captain always gave you was one you had tried to fight, but now, you never wanted it to fade; he would look after you.

“Morning, love,” the morning voice of the man you had fallen asleep on makes your cheeks even hotter. “Sleep well?”

You’re unsure what to say, so you simply nod. He smiles and tells you he’s glad.

He cooks you both breakfast and sneaks glances at you in his clothes every chance he gets without the risk of you noticing; you just look so good that he can’t help but admire you.

You’re unsure why your chest feels so warm as you look at him flipping pancakes at 8 in the morning, but you’re not against it, it’s just strange. You had never felt that with your ex.

Over the weeks that you’re staying at his house, you grow closer than you were before.

Your days are spent together and anybody you saw in public simply assumed you were a couple.

Price, however, was finding it difficult to hide his feelings for you as they grew even stronger, and you were the same.

You had realised why you felt the way you did for all those months now, why you were nervous around him and why he made you so happy: you loved him.

One day, as the two of you rushed inside, away from the harsh rain outside, the feelings overwhelmed you both.

As you leaned against the front door, both of you laughing, Price’s arms pressed on the wall either side of you, both of your laughter having calmed down and changed to a happy smile.

His eyes stared into yours, and yours his.

As he leaned in loser, you spoke.

“We shouldn’t do this,”

He didn’t know what to say, so he simply said what he was thinking, dropping one arm from beside you so you’d have room to leave if you wanted. You didn’t move.

“I know, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to.”

“John…”

“Yes, doll?”

“Kiss me.”

And so he did, every emotion that he had kept bottled up pouring into the kiss.

Your arms wrapped around his neck and one of his arms snaked around your waist, the other cupping your cheek.

As he pulled away, both of you panting, you couldn’t help but smile.

“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do that,” he whispers.

“I think I do now…” You giggled, hugging him, both of you smiling as he hugs you back.

Neither of you knew where you were going to go from here, but all you wanted was to be together; it’s all you guys had ever wanted.

[queen-haq]

Fic: Never You (Polin) - Part 6

Fandom: Bridgerton (TV show)

Spoilers: S3 released scenes.

Summary: They may have been friends once but his callous words decimated their relationship. Determined not to have anything to do with him, Penelope is ready to move on. But Colin isn’t giving up, not at all. Friends or not, they are connected for life - and he intends to remind her of that.

Excerpt:

“You would hate me for not wanting to court you. You would be that selfish?”

“Of course you would think that.”

“What else is this if not punishment?”

Masterlist (contains links to previous parts and my other stories)

Chapter 6

Dearest Penny,

I hope this letter finds you well.

My journey home was perilous and took far too long. However, I did receive good news upon my arrival. Mother was awake in bed, the worst of her illness having passed recently. It will still take a few weeks but the doctor is confident she will recover fully. I have told her a lot about you. As I predicted, she is excited to meet you. 

I miss you. I remind myself it’s only a matter of time before we can start our new life together, full of adventure and laughter, but it still feels too long.

Once my affairs are settled, I will be traveling to London to see you. I know your Mama will not take kindly to me but I hope to win her over with my intelligence and wit (I’m envisioning the mocking smile on your lips as I write this).  If all else fails, I shall win her approval through jewelry, as you suggested. Hopefully that will alleviate her concerns about an untitled son-in-law.

Love,

Arthur.

Penelope read the letter again, smiling to herself. While she and Arthur could converse for hours, his letters tended to be short and to the point. And though they lacked a writer’s flair, his letters still felt distinctly like him and she appreciated that.

With other men she was shy and tongue-tied, and they were never interested in her anyway, but Arthur Debling had been different. At a dinner gathering in Ayleshire, it was he who had approached her, and once she got over her initial shyness the conversation flowed between them. Perhaps it was because he was a merchant and not a member of nobility, but from the very beginning he treated her with respect and a matter-of-fact stance rarely displayed by others. To him she wasn’t some woman in desperate hunt for a husband or an awkward, shy wallflower to be avoided at all times. She was Penelope Featherington and she was enough.

For the first few weeks there had been no romantic intentions, they simply talked of art and poetry. Over time she came to see he possessed a brilliant scientific mind that he went out of his way to hide. Only when she questioned him did he finally admit he was embarrassed of his intelligence and felt the need to dampen his curious mind from others. That was the first night she started to see him in a different light.

“Penelope!”

The sound of Mama's voice brought Penelope out of her reverie. After hiding the letter, she made her way toward her mother’s chamber in the opposite corner of the hallway. Portia was already dressed for bed and brushing her hair when Penelope entered the room. “Yes, Mama?”

The older woman cast her a quick glance in the mirror. “Lady Violet has invited us for tea tomorrow afternoon.”

Pen paused. Tea at the Bridgertons meant seeing Eloise and perhaps even Colin. “I will be in-”

“And before you come down with a sudden case of illness, I will remind you that personal invitations of this nature have been rare of late. We can not afford to turn down any, let alone the Bridgertons.”

Between the Marina scandal and then Cousin Jack, there were many who no longer wished to associate with the Featheringtons. While that was a relief for Pen, she knew the slow exclusion really hurt Portia even if she did hide the pain behind a mask of angry condescension.

“Yes, Mama. I understand.”

“Good. Now get some sleep, child. I will not have you looking haggard tomorrow.”

Penelope sauntered back to her chamber, her mind still reeling. No doubt Eloise would be present and angry with her. Would she at least pretend to be polite? Pen didn’t know. So far they had mostly avoided each other, except for the ball last week when Eloise had warned her to stay away from Colin.

After entering the chamber, she was busy locking the door when a noise startled her.

“Pen.”

Colin’s throaty growl made her gasp, her body suddenly taut.

Hesitant, she turned around.

It had been two days since she last saw him at the park. And now he was here in her chamber, shamelessly sitting at the edge of her bed. Hair tousled, clothes messy and disheveled, he stared at her intently. His face was unshaven, revealing a stubble growth of a day or two. Instead of taking away from his looks, however, it only emphasized his handsomeness more.  

Her heart started pounding in her chest, both from the anger that flooded through her veins and the knowledge that his hold upon her was still so potent. “How did you get in here?” she asked, keeping her voice steady so he couldn’t sense how much his presence unnerved her.

“I climbed up the tree and through the window.”

As if violating her privacy was a daily occurrence for him.

“You’re so very determined to ruin me, aren’t you?”

“I was careful. No one saw me.”

“Well, that makes it alright then.”

“I didn’t take you as the sarcastic sort, Pen.”

“Add it to the growing list of things you don’t know about me.”

He didn’t respond, his eyes locked with hers.

The silence between them grew more tense by the second while they held still, as if a single movement could ignite a fire that would burn them both.

And then he stood up. “Do you know why I’m here, Pen?”

There was a button missing from his waistcoat, dirt on his breeches, and he had never looked more beautiful than he did at that moment. Her heart flipflopped in her chest. “I don’t care. I simply want you to leave.”

A bitter smile shadowed his lips. “Because it’s that easy for you, isn’t it? You’ve moved on already.”

“Yes.” The strength in her voice surprised even her when all she felt was anxiety twisting up her insides. “It’s time you do the same.”

“Don’t you think I’ve tried? That I’ve been trying?” Anger laced his words, hurt etched onto his face. “You don’t want to have anything to do with me yet I can’t imagine a single moment of my life without you. Why is that, Pen?”

With a slow and deliberate gait, he swaggered forward.

“Why can’t I stop thinking about you? Your voice, your smile, your taunts...” He tapped the side of his temple erratically, eyes heavy with emotion. “Always in my fucking mind, refusing to give me even one moment of peace. You’ve been torturing me!"

With every step that drew him closer, waves of madness surged through her body. She didn’t want to feel like this, like her mind and body were completely out of her control.

“Why is this happening to me, Pen?” His voice cracked. “Why do I feel this way?” He clutched his heart, his long, lean fingers rubbing the spot over his waistcoat repeatedly. “It didn’t used to be like this, I was fine before! But now I think about you leaving me and it’s like I can’t breathe. Like a part of me will be lost forever.”

Her eyes softened. The man standing in front of her wasn’t the one who broke her heart. In his place was her dear friend, the boy she had known her entire life and loved for as long, and he was pleading for her help. “That empty feeling will go away, Colin. I promise.” She took a furtive step toward him. “You’ve only just returned, your life probably feels untethered with everything changing around you. But give it time, let yourself settle in, and things will be better.”

He stopped in his tracks. “Nothing will ever be the same without you.”

“It will, I promise.” She sent him a sad smile. “You will meet someone beautiful and kind, and she will be everything you ever wanted. The true love of your life. And this sadness that you feel right now will become a distant memory.”

A beat of silence followed as he contemplated her words.

Would the agonizing pain that coursed through her at the thought of him with another woman ever lessen? She didn’t know. Maybe with time and distance she would be free of this curse, but for now he was still very much embedded in her soul and the eventual reality of him falling in love made her want to retch.

“Is that what you think will happen for you, Pen? You’ll marry this Arthur and make me a distant memory?”

There was no outward change in him yet she immediately sensed the shift within.

He cocked his eyebrow. “Do you think I will let that happen?”

She stared at him defiantly as he approached her. “You have no say in my life.”

“But I do, Pen.” The glint in his gaze sharpened, making his blue eyes appear even darker. “Because it’s me you’re in love with. It’s me you swore never to forsake.” He came to a stop in front of her, forcing her to look up at him. “I intend to hold you to that.”

Her anger returned. “And I intend to fight you. Because I will not sacrifice my future to appease your selfishness.”

“I know,” he sighed, regret looming over his face. “I should never have asked you to do that. But that’s why I’m here, Pen. I want to make things right between us.”

Her demand to know how died on her lips as soon as he retrieved something out of the pocket of his waistcoat. Stunned, she stood frozen as he held out an emerald ring, one she recognized right away from having seen Lady Violet wear it occasionally. 

“My father gifted this to my mother on their tenth anniversary.” There was reverence in his voice as he spoke. “I think he chose it especially for the colour. It’s remarkable, isn’t it?”

She swallowed, nodding. “Yes, it’s beautiful.”

“This has always been my favourite of mother’s jewelry. I knew one day I would gift it to my wife.”

Her mind went blank.

“And maybe now is that time.” He bent down on one knee in front of her, holding up the ring. “Will you marry me, Penelope Featherington?”

Time stopped.

For so long all she wanted was to be Colin’s wife. In her mind marrying him meant she would finally be happy and fulfilled. He would be the perfect husband, and she would be a member of the happy and loving Bridgerton family at last. All her dreams would finally be realized.

Except she wasn’t happy or even excited. The man she loved was on his knees, proposing to her, and all she could think about was how wrong it all felt. The proposal didn’t come from a place of love. No. Instead it was borne out of fear and a stubborn refusal to grow up. A last resort so he didn’t have to face losing their friendship.

Then there was Arthur. With him she didn’t have to hide, she could be who she truly was and not have to apologize for it. And she could continue to write, whether that be as Lady Whistledown, someone new or even herself, and do so without shame or regret.

Colin may have been her lifelong dream but that didn’t mean she couldn’t have new ones. And with Arthur, the life she wanted was within her grasp. A true possibility rather than simple fantasy.

Immediately she felt a sense of peace, knowing she was doing the right thing for herself.  “I’ve already said this to you before. I’m betrothed to another.”

In one fluid motion he slid the ring back into his pocket before rising to his full height. He had always towered over her but that had never intimidated her before. For the first time she felt a small twinge of fear percolating in her stomach, realizing the stark darkness on his face was also new.

He was quiet, too quiet, stalking her every move with his eyes, slowly pushing forward. A predator enjoying the rituals of the hunt, preparing his prey for the kill. Instinctively she retreated, moving back until the door lodged against her spine. He continued to move in, slowly but ferociously, invading every inch of her space until he was standing directly in front of her. She craned her neck to meet his stare, refusing to bow down.

“Is that a no, Penelope?”

She couldn’t think with him so close but she held strong. "Yes."

“Even though you’re in love with me and not fucking Arthur.” 

Maybe he thought throwing her love back in her face would embarrass her into submission but it had the opposite effect. Infuriated, she stood on her tiptoes to glare up at him. "So what? You think you can use my feelings to manipulate me?" She shook her head no. "I have dreams that matter to me far more than my love for you. And I will not jeopardize my chance to achieve them just for scraps of your attention."

Her words were meant to provoke his temper so he would withdraw. Instead his eyes softened as he hunched lower to look at her, his gaze roaming languidly over her face, a gentleness to them that made her insides dance with anticipation. She trembled when his hands cupped her cheeks while he studied every inch of her features, as if marking her in his memory. And then his thumb gently brushed over her pout, his dark blue eyes following the tremor of her lips, and all she could do was breathe slowly, tentatively, her heart drumming in her chest.

“I used to think you were the sweetest person I knew. Always so kind and agreeable,” he murmured, more to himself than her. “And easily forgotten.”

It hurt. Even though she had always known that that’s how people viewed her, if they bothered to see her at all - but to have him admit it was a different kind of pain. “Then forget me. Leave.”

He didn’t move, his gaze concentrated on her lips, thumb stroking left to right, right to left. “And now I can’t get this impertinent mouth of yours out of my head.”

It came as a shock when she realized Colin was hard, his erection pressed against her body. "You're aroused."

He met her eyes. “I’m aware.”

She swallowed audibly. “Why?”

Irritation surged through him. “You’re here, dressed in a robe with your beautiful hair down, talking to me, arguing with me, breathing around me, and you ask me why I’m aroused?” His hands slid down her body until they were at her waist, fingers curving into her sides as he pressed her tightly against him.

A faint gasp escaped her lips feeling his hardness.

“I want you, Pen,” was his raw, throaty plea. “I can’t stop.”

“Show me.” Her voice was firm, determined. “Show me how much you want me.”

To be contined...

A/N - Thank you for the support on this fic. Hope you're still enjoying it!

[l4ndojpg]

whumptober 2024, day 1: panic attack

fandom: formula 1 RPF | characters: charles leclerc, max verstappen | ship: charles leclerc/max verstappen | trigger warnings: panic attack | content: charles struggles, max does his best to help | word count: 1.2k | please keep RPF in fandom spaces only!

9:47PM

Charles: Are u awake

Max sits up so fast he gets a head rush. He blinks a couple of times to make sure he’s not imagining the text but no - it’s real. Sheets pooling around his waist, he types out a reply quickly and hits send, then sits, gnawing his thumbnail as he waits for a response form his boyfriend. 

9:47PM

Max: Yes

Max: Are u okay

Charles sees the messages immediately. Max watches anxiously as Charles types for several seconds, then the bubbles disappear again. Max exhales. He knew he shouldn’t have trusted Charles to be honest with him about what he needed after qualifying today; he was still pale and shaken when Max left him in his hotel room an hour ago with the claim that he wanted to be alone. His thumb is hovering over the call button when Charles finally responds. 

9:51PM

Charles: Can u come here

Fuck. 

9:51PM

Max: Yes coming now 

Max tugs on his sweatpants, t-shirt and slides so fast he’s surprised he doesn't rip a hole in any of the clothing. His phone is gripped tightly in his hand, and he picks up his water bottle and his keycard from his bedside table before slamming the door behind him and walking quickly to the elevator that will take him two floors down to Charles’ room. 

He taps his foot impatiently against the tiled floor of the elevator, biting his lower lip anxiously in anticipation of what he’ll be walking into. Charles has been struggling more than Max thought he would this weekend; both in the car and out. Charles is in such an emotional and confusing headspace Max honestly doesn’t know what state his boyfriend will be in when he arrives. All he can do is resolve to help in whatever way he can. 

He knocks gently twice on Charles’ hotel room door, thankful nobody is around. There’s scuffling from behind the door, and a second later Charles opens it to reveal a pale face and red rimmed eyes. Max sighs, pushes Charles gently backward into his room and shuts the door behind them. Charles turns and begins to pace the length of the floor, chewing the inside of his cheek. 

“What do you need, schatje?” Max says quietly, watching Charles pace anxiously. Charles takes a deep breath and opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. He just shakes his head silently and continues pacing. Max nods as if he understands - he doesn’t, really - and takes a seat on the end of the bed. He figures lingering in the doorway isn’t going to help, and perhaps if he sits on the bed it will encourage Charles to do the same. 

They’re both quiet for a few minutes. Charles continues pacing, hands rubbing his face rather viciously, a sure sign that if Max doesn’t head whatever this is soon, it will turn into a full blown panic attack. 

“Charles. Come and sit,” Max tries again, but Charles shakes his head again. “Tell me what is going through your mind right now,” Max settles on, and Charles finally stops, standing a couple of meters from Max and staring at him as though he only just realized his boyfriend was in the room.

“I-,” Charles starts to speak and chokes on his words. He continues to rub his face as his lower lip trembles. 

“You can tell me,” Max says softly, hoping it’s what Charles needs to hear. “You can tell me anything.” 

“I-,” Charles starts again, and stops. “Max, I- I can’t do it,” he chokes out. 

Max bites the inside of his mouth in concern. “What can’t you do, schatje?” 

Charles shakes his head once more. His hands finally drop to his sides. 

“I can not do it,” he whispers, accent thickening as it does when he gets more upset. “I can not drive tomorrow,” his voice cracks - and he bursts into tears. 

Max jumps up and tries to wrap his arms around Charles, but Charles pushes him away as he continues to cry. He backs up until he hits the wall and slides down it, knees pulled into his chest, sobs rattling his chest. 

“I won’t touch you if you don’t want me to,” Max assures him softly, crouching down in front of him. “I just need you to breathe right now, baby, just breathe-,” 

Charles takes no notice of Max, head between his knees taking great, gasping sobs. 

“Charles,” Max says a little louder, “Charlie, look at me.” At the nickname, Charles’ head finally snaps up, eyes watery and wild, face flushed as he whimpers. 

“Let me help you,” Max says, and it comes out pleading, and perhaps that’s why Charles nods and allows Max to take his hand. 

“I’m gonna squeeze,” Max orders quietly, “and you are going to breathe, okay?” 

Charles takes a stuttering breath and nods, lips pressed in a hard line as tears continue to pour down his face. Max begins to squeeze Charles’ hands in short increments, focusing all his energy on doing it for the perfect amount of time rather than on the fact his boyfriend is breaking down in front of him. 

Charles has never guarded his emotions as ferociously as Max. It scared Max, at first, when they got together, how open and vulnerable Charles was willing to be. But overtime, Max has begun to realize how much better things are when they’re both vulnerable with each other. 

It doesn’t make being there for each other when they’re in distress any easier. 

They sit like that for what feels like hours but is probably only ten minutes, Max squeezing Charles’ hands and Charles taking stuttering, gasping breaths between sobs that become slowly but surely more deep. Eventually, all cried out, Charles slumps back against the wall again, head hitting it with a soft thump. 

“You will be more comfortable in bed,” Max murmurs after a moment, and Charles nods noncommittally. Max helps him stand - he’s shaky on his feet - and leads him over to the bed. Charles gets in, pulls the covers up to his chest, but doesn’t lay down, remaining sitting against the fluffy pillows. 

Max crawls into the other side, picking up his water bottle, unscrewing the lid and handing it to Charles silently as he situates himself next to his boyfriend. Charles takes a few long gulps then passes it back to Max, who places it back on the bedside table. 

“Lie down,” Max says quietly, but Charles doesn’t show any signs that he’s heard his boyfriend. Max exhales and tugs Charles gently down to lie so that his head is on Max’s chest. He’s still shaking. 

“It’s just-,” Charles starts to say, voice hoarse, then stops. Max doesn’t push him, just waits silently for Charles to continue, running a hand through his hair, still damp from the shower he must have taken after the quali debrief. 

“It’s just so much,” Charles says eventually, voice cracking. “Sometimes.”

“I know,” Max says, and he does, but he knows it doesn’t help. He wishes it would. “I know Charlie.”

[breyito]

Fear your sins, not your monsters: Part Three: Paths Converging

Continuation of Day 1 and 2 of @painlandweek

Part 1 Part 2 Chapters: 3/5 Fandom: Dead Boy Detectives (TV) Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence Relationships: Edwin Paine | Edwin Payne/Charles Rowland, Edwin Paine | Edwin Payne & Charles Rowland, Edwin Paine | Edwin Payne & Crystal Palace Characters: Edwin Paine | Edwin Payne, Charles Rowland (DCU) Additional Tags: Protective Edwin Paine | Edwin PayneUnhinged Edwin Paine | Edwin Payne, Violence, Torture, Hurt Charles Rowland (DCU), Sickfic, love language: acts of service, painlandweek, BAMF Edwin Paine | Edwin Payne, Angst with a Happy Ending

Here on AO3

A/N: Hello! I'm so, so sorry about the delay! My ADHD has been kicking my ass for the last couple of weeks and istg i feel like i can't do anything. Anyways. I had to split this chapter in half, cause it was getting ridiculously long again, and I wasnt going to finish the rest of it today. (I have this new app on my phone that is voice-to-text and it changed my life! All the dialogues i keep forgetting bc of lack of energy to write i can just *dictate* and it feels so good lol. It also lenghtened this quite a bit, tho.) No moodboard for this one either, not yet. I'll try to make one tomorrow (or in a few hours, as it is, once again, 5am). No beta and English is not my native language, so any mistakes please point them out. I hope you enjoy this one! I'm very curious about what you'll think of this one ;P Oh, WARNING:This contains violence, threats of rape towards Charles and other children's souls, etc.

Part Three: Paths Converging

They headed back to the office. On the way, Crystal with her phone in her ear, Edwin had explained the general gist of things to her. Mainly that the other ghost hadn’t known the location of the lair of the witch, but had visited a few times. To allow him to travel there via mirror, she had given him a token attuned to him and his energy. They could use the token, but not to travel with it more than once; and definitely not to escape the place. (Not to mention that Crystal would have never let Edwin go on his own alone, without even the possibility of helping him. She was glad, still, that the ghost boy had not even suggested that.)

“So how can we use it?” she asked, looking right at him, as she plopped down on the couch. They were inside the office now and nosy taxi drivers couldn’t watch her suspiciously anymore. Also, she was exhausted and couldn’t bother with more acting for a couple of hours.

Edwin had gone straight to the massive pile of books on top of every single flat surface, including boxes full of files. He had looked at the books covering the desk for a full thirty seconds and then sent a wave of the black smoke at them, and they actually began moving on their own towards the floor. Crystal was…ignoring that for now, for the sake of her sanity. (How many things was she already ignoring?)

“I think I can combine a couple of rituals to create a sort of…tether, between Charles and myself.” he replied to her, as he removed his outer layers. “This would, basically, allow us to communicate with him and follow his energy to the place where the witch has absconded him.”

“Don’t tethers usually need something more physical to work?” she questioned, curious. At least that’s what the book she had been reading before their last case went wildly off course had said. Maybe the black smoke allowed him to tweak the limits?

“I have something more physical of his.” Edwin said, touching Charles’ necklace still around his neck. ”And for me, well, some blood or the ghost equivalent should work.”  His eyes showed his mind went far, far away for a couple of moments. She said nothing, remembering the sudden rush of cold, dark, wet she had felt the last time she touched it. Edwin eventually shook off the melancholy and straightened his posture.

“I will need to compile the different arrays and rites I need to build this ritual. It will take me at least a few hours, so I suggest you rest up.” 

“Are you sure I can’t help you…?” she asked, despite knowing he probably wouldn’t let her. Building rituals from scratch was a whole new area and she had exactly zero experience with that.

“Crystal.” He sighed, already spreading an alarming amount of books on the now clean desk. “I don’t mean to be rude, but unless you have a working knowledge of any of the Celtic languages, Aramaic, Latin or Fuþorc Runes I’ll ask you to keep out of it.”

“Okay, okay.” she rolled her eyes. Kicking her shoes off, she got comfortable on the couch and covered herself with the blanket.  “But wake me up if you need to leave, alright?” she mumbled, half asleep already. “I don’t wanna panic if you’re not there when I wake up…”

Several hours later, Edwin shook her awake. Still woozy from sleep, she understood he needed a specific kind of knife he didn’t have but knew where to get. And that he had to travel by mirror to the place. She mumbled her understanding to him, and he left. 

It was only when she was about to drop back into a deep sleep that her brain actually zoned in to the important part. She sat up on the couch so suddenly she felt dizzy.

“ Esther Finch’s fucking house!?” she yelled at the flat mirror, frustrated beyond belief. “Are you shitting me , Edwin!?” she cursed at the empty office. She creamed into the pillow a bit more, then got up. At least this should give her time to shower.

—-- —-- —--

—-- —-- —--

Edwin really doesn’t want to go back to Port Townsend. The place was bleak, damp and filled with memories of suffering. Whether it is mental, emotional or physical; he’d experienced more pain in that little town in a single month than in the rest of the world in the last fifteen years. 

But Charles was missing. Taken by another witch with a penchant for sick, twisted games and children’s pain. The ritual he came up with was novel and needed every single element to work. The dagger was fundamental. Edwin could not risk wasting more time looking for another knife with the same qualities when he already knew the location of one.

So he travelled to Port Townsend via mirror. He landed in Crystal’s old room above Jenny’s shop, and walked up to the house in a disguise. It was better than trying to travel directly inside Finch’s house, which surely had enchantments against ghosts using her mirrors that way.

As soon as his feet landed inside a ten metre radius, he could feel the repellent wards telling him to go away. This magic felt different than Finch’s. Probably the Cat King, then. Or maybe Tragic Mick? He ignored the compulsion, and kept walking up the path into the porch. 

He took off his glasses before reaching the stairs, and became his true self again. A loud caw immediately greeted him. He paused and looked back,  and saw Monty in his true form on a tree branch. The pause allowed the crow to land in the handrail of the porch, exuding an air of disapproval. Edwin sighed. 

“I need to get something from inside this house.” he said, focusing on one of the crows’ eyes. “I’m not going to-” he paused before he promised something he couldn’t keep. Because he couldn’t promise not to hurt someone with what he took from inside. “I’m going to get something from inside this house.” He said instead. “And you are not going to stop me.”

Monty lifted into the air, agitated, cowing. His wings produced so much wind that Edwin took a step back, but then straightened up and pulled his notebook and held it open with one hand.

“I don’t want to hurt you, Monty.” he stated. “But I will if you try to stop me.” His other hand opened and a bright orange flame erupted, tinged with wisps of black. An alarmed cry made Edwin feel like garbage, but he held the flame on his palm. In control, but ready to attack.

The crow flew off then, shrill caws on his way. Edwin took a deep breath and extinguished the fire, wiping his hand on his coat. He pocketed his notebook and climbed the stairs. Fortunately, he went in as easily as he had done for Becky.

By the time Edwin had found the dagger, and snatched a book that looked like it had been involved in the creation of the ghastly machine that so much pain it had caused him; it was already too late. He felt a pulse of energy from outside, and cursed under his breath. He could try to undo the spells on the mirrors of the house, but that would take too long. So he sighed and marched outside. 

“Edwin, Edwin, Edwin. You don't write, you don't call…” the Cat King said with a fake moue. Edwin looked up and saw Monty flying in circles above their heads. Little snitch , he thought, resentful.

“Cat King.” he said, nodding in respect, trying to walk around him. “I'm just leaving.” But diplomacy never worked on him. 

“Tsk, tsk, tsk.” The other man clicked his tongue, stepping in Edwin’s path. The ghost boy stopped where he was, not willing to get closer.

“What do you think you are doing, entering the house of the Wicked Witch of the West?” The shapeshifter asked, sauntering around him. He was wearing heeled boots, and it added a little height difference that irked Edwin.  

“I already have what I came here looking for. Now, if you please, I'm in a hurry.” Edwin tried to give another step, but the Cat King walked closer again, forcing him to step back. He was not putting himself in reach again. Monty cowed, flying faster, agitated.

“No. I don't think I please.” he tilted his head. “Knowledge like Esther's is dangerous. And I just can't let you leave with something dangerous.” The trickster’s tone was still playful, and it was grating on Edwin’s nerves.

“Knowledge is just knowledge.” the detective said, exasperated. “And I'm not asking you for permission.” he countered, snappish, head held high. “You're wasting my time .” The Cat King’s eyes shone.

“You should always have time for me, dear.” he said, smile cutting. “I can always just trap you here again, Edwin.” He offered, the smile still on.

“...And I can always start killing your subjects until you let me leave. But we are not doing that, are we, Thomas? ” he smirked back, biting. There was something cold in those green eyes that made the shifter want to shiver. The faint wisps of black coming up from the ground were certainly unnerving. Monty screeched in alarm and abruptly landed on a branch several metres down. 

“You know my name.” the Cat King realised, stepping back. 

“I do. I know a lot of things about you now.” the ghost added, taking a step forward. “You like to play games . But I already knew that, from last time.” Edwin took another step closer. “The difference is, Charles is not with me right now. And I don't have a lot of patience for games when he is in danger.” he snarled. 

“So that is why you're doing this? For him? You came all the way to America, to the house where you were tortured in, just for him ?” Thomas asked, indignant.

“I would do many more things for him.” Edwin stated, staring right into those yellow eyes, daring. The shifter scoffed, leaning closer, looking down at the ghost.

“Like threatening me?” The man asked, incredulous.

“I'm not threatening you. I'm warning you.” Edwin said, looking up, teeth bared. It looked more like a show of aggression from a cornered animal than a smile. “You're either on my side, or standing in my fucking way. And I'll get through anything standing in my way to get to him.” Their faces were only a few centimetres apart now, noses almost touching.

Thomas knew, in that moment, that Edwin was being completely honest. He seemed not to care a single bit what could happen to him as long as he could leave to go help his little friend. Nor what enemies he could leave behind. The Cat King felt a bit peeved about it, quite hot under the collar, and a lot jealous. That kind of loyalty to another person, to the point of detriment to yourself? He’d never felt it nor had he had it. It was alluring , damn it.   

“Deathly little thing, aren’t you?” he whispered to this mysterious boy, unwillingly feeling more attracted to him still. The tension between them finally broke when Edwin’s lips formed a teasing smile and his eyes softened a little.

“Only when I have to.” he whispered back, before breaking his gaze and pressing the faintest of kisses on Thomas’ jaw, surprising him. He then sidestepped him and walked out of the yard. 

By the time the Cat King turned around, Edwin was already jumping into a puddle, travelling to where he needed to be. Monty cowed twice and Thomas felt the hidden amusement.

“Oh, shut it, bird-boy. Like you didn’t defy your witch for him, even after he rejected you.” he snapped. 

—-- —-- —--

—-- —-- —--

Charles woke up all at once, gasping. He was sopping wet and chained to the ceiling. The metal of the chains was iron, and they were burning every part of his body that touched them. He was still only wearing his trousers, felt his extremities numb with cold and some of his curls had crusted over with ice.

When his eyes got used to the dim room, he could see it was the same basement he had been trapped in since the beginning. The only real difference was that he wasn’t alone this time. There was a woman on the corner, deep in the shadows. For what he could see, she was pretty fit. Charles might have looked twice if he had seen her on the street.  But with her wild blonde hair, tight red dress and tall boots; she looked like she was wearing a halloween costume that couldn’t decide if it was vampire or witch. A large white spider, with its eyes closed, peacefully placed inside her hair didn’t help matters. He had almost missed it.

“You’re finally awake!” she cheered, getting closer. “Now we can finally get started .” her grin was dangerous and the boy felt a shiver go down his spine.

Taking advantage of the fact that his feet barely touch the ground, she spun him around, making him lose balance. His knee buckled under him and his whole weight was left suspended from his shoulders until he managed to find his footing again. He was trembling even worse  after that, and tears of frustration began leaking from his eyes.

“Are you crying? How cute .” she cooed, grabbing his face and licking the trail the drop had left on his cheek. ”I’d give you a comfort kiss, but I don’t snog anyone that’s not my man.”

“You. Are. Crazy.” Charles said, leaning away from her. The spider opened its eyes and winked with half of them, waving two of its legs. The shivers got worse.

“Don’t be like that, poppet. Everything I’m doing is for love.”

“ Love ?” he repeated, sceptical. 

“Yes! I’m gonna get the love of my life back, and you’re gonna help me.”

“I don’t know anything about love potions or spells; we don’t mess with that shite.” Charles explained, weary. The witch snorted, the spider wiggled, like it was laughing too. (Was this her familiar? Did it share the same amount of sentience as Monty? Somehow, that thought was terrifying).

“Pffff, I don’t mean like that . My boo and I were tragically separated when he was killed by the police and then he got dragged to Hell! ” she huffed. “Like, what even? I just want him back .” 

Usually, Charles was willing to give everyone a chance to explain themselves. It’s not like the system was flawless. Good souls could be sent to Hell, like it had happened with Edwin. 

However, since he was still shivering from the literal torture this woman had put him through (torture she implied her ‘boo’ would enjoy); he would go out on a limb an bet the bloke completely deserved his tenure in Hell.

“And why was he killed by the police?” he asked anyway, already tired of dealing with this. The chat was a step up from the freezing water, but the talk itself so far was three steps down from the earlier solitude.

“Because his stupid best friend and he decided to rob a bank!” she exclaimed, clearly miffed. This time, when she grabbed him to spin him around, her nails left deep scratches, burning and bleeding. This bitch had iron in her nail polish, apparently. “They were caught doing that. I mean, you have to give it to the pigs. They really messed up on that one.”she laughed. “They were caught and got done in as fucking robbers. They didn't even search their flat! They just killed them and left them at the morgue.  They never found out that we were the ones dropping the mangled bodies everywhere.”

“You're sick.” Charles said, swallowing, as he found his rooting again. 

“Oh, baby, of course I am. Didn't I tell you already? I love making people break, playing with them.” She licked her lips, seductive. The ghost boy just felt nauseous. “What I love even more is watching my man do it for me. And that's why you're going to help me bring him back.”

“From Hell ?” He asked, incredulous. “Even if I wanted to, I couldn't help you. Edwin is the one with the knowledge of Hell and its paths, not me. You chose the wrong one of us to kidnap.”

“I don’t think I did. Word is, you are the one that I saved him from hell this time.” she smiled.  She put her extended arm on his shoulder and placed her weight on the claw-like nails sinking in the muscle there. He felt blood dripping down his back. The spider began walking down her shoulder and onto her arm. Leaning in until their faces almost touched, she looked him dead in the eyes, despite his efforts to keep the blasted thing in his line of sight. 

“I did, yeah.” He admitted. “But I had help. I had someone else, much more powerful than I or you ever could be. They opened a portal down to Hell and they kept it open until we got back. You can't do that.” He swallowed. “Can you?” he couldn’t stop himself from asking, now looking at the spider.

Cursing, she pushed him back and started roaming the room, hands wildly gesturing. The spider had quickly climbed up to her head again. Charles had lost his balance and was spinning again, but at least that beast was not near him. He took her cursing as a negative to his question. Charles wanted to believe this was good news (he dreaded the thought of that man anywhere but Hell), but you never knew how others were going to react when you didn’t give them the information they wanted. This woman? Completely bonkers. Hopefully she would just let him in here, until Edwin rescued him. Suddenly, she stopped in the middle of the basement.

“Hmm, maybe I can't open up a portal. But I can make a deal with a demon so that I can get into hell.” She was smiling again. “And you will help me find my way out.”

“A deal with a demon is a terrible idea. Besides, lady, even if I tell you all I know about hell, which I won’t do. The level Edwin was at? It was terrible, but it wasn't that deep. The level your boo must be in… it has to be one of the deepest and darkest ones, just based on what you describe me you two did, to people.”

“I can think of a few things I can offer the demon so that he helps me.” she countered, now pensive instead of agitated.

“Like what?”

“Like you, your soul. Essence, whatever. Or one of the others’.” Charles was almost afraid to ask.

“Others?”

“Oh, yeah. I've been collecting little souls as gifts for my boyfriend when he comes back. Since, you know, he won't be able to interact with the living now he is dead and will become a ghost.”

“... Little souls?” he asked again, disgusted. He tried leaning away, but she plunged her nails into his face to keep his eyes on her. 

“Yeah, the souls of little ones!” she smiled, and it was a terrible smile. A wild hunger seemed to seep from her feverish eyes. “He's not that much into kids. He prefers young people, teenagers, you know.” she winked at him, suggestive.

“So he's a paedophile, but not that much of a paedophile?” Charles mocked, deciding to ignore the implications. 

She let go of his face only to slap him hard, hard enough to leave deep gouges from the iron on the nails she wore.

“He hates that word!” she screamed, offended. “He just… really loves young people.” The sheer incredulity must have shown on his face, because she just continued. “Anyways, I was collecting these souls so he could play with them when he comes back, you know? I bet he will be in a foul mood, and I just thought 'well what better way to cheer him up than letting him blow off some steam on a couple souls he will find pleasing?’ ' I took great care in ensuring they were innocent, as well. The responses to all the pain and the bit of little pleasure here and there that we can teach them are always the best .” she sighed, dreamy. “And ghosts are so much more resilient! We can play with you and play with you and play with you until you break.” She said, eyes evaluating him up and down. “And then we can start all over again!” she laughed.

Charles puked all over the floor.

"You truly are," he said in disgusted awe " the most despicable person I've ever met. And a few months ago I was at the mercy of a witch that cannibalised little girls. "

“Oh, cannibalism.” she hummed. “That sounds fun, doesn’t it, Ari?” she cooed at her familiar, reaching for the thing. “You have to get me her number.” she said to him.

Charles spat at her. It barely touched her face before she shrieked and sent him crashing to the back of the room. The chains had fallen from the ceiling and onto his torso, burning him terribly.  

“And you need to learn some manners." She said as he screamed from the sudden agony. Then she turned her back on him and walked towards the door. "I guess I will just leave you to repeat the cycle until you have had enough."

Charles’ last coherent thought before he was dropped under the thick frozen layer of water of the lake instead of through the ice as always, was that Edwin and he would absolutely need to save those poor spirits.

—-- —-- —--

—-- —-- —--

“That took longer than you said it would.” Crystal said as soon as he stepped through the mirror into the office. “Did the house not let you in?” she asked, remembering how they had just phased through the walls last time.

“The house gave me no problem at all.” Edwin answered, placing the knife on the desk. “It was Monty, actually.” he explained, with a grimace. “I had an encounter with the Cat king,” Crystal’s eyebrow went up “but not much came out of it. He was very insistent about not letting any kind of knowledge leave that witch's house.” He took off his coat and his gloves and, uncharacteristically, threw them onto the couch. It was the only free surface, she supposed. “Which would normally be a good thing, but in these circumstances, I could not abide by it.”

“And did he give you any trouble?” she questioned, sceptical. 

“He tried to threaten me, so I just…threatened him back.” Edwin said, unbuttoning his cuffs and rolling up his sleeves, trying to play it off as unimpressive. Yeah, Crystal was not gonna let that one slide.

“ You threatened the Cat King?” she said, incredulous. “He left you trapped in Port Townsend for weeks!”

“Ah, but I didn't know anything about him back then.” He countered. “And I wasn't dabbling in anything more dangerous than usual. And perhaps the most important thing of all…” Edwin started, leafing through his notes.

“...It was you in danger, not Charles.” Crystal interrupted, finishing the idea.

“Exactly.” He said, pleased that she understood this about him by now.

As they began prepping the materials for this massive ritual, she managed to corroborate that it was far beyond anything they had shown her so far. The ritual seemed so complicated. Beyond the dagger that he had to pick up from the other side of the world, it required them to move every single piece of furniture against the walls, then grabbing the bathroom mirror for a later use. 

After that, they placed a bedsheet on the floor, drawing a big circle on it with black chalk, and drew a set of runes inside it, near the centre. Then Edwin grabbed Charles' backpack, and took out a bottle full of a viscous dark liquid. He then lit a dozen candles inside the marked circle, each one in its specific place. A wave of different smells assaulted Crystal’s nose. She supposed that ghosts weren’t bothered by it since they couldn't smell much. She tried very hard not to sneeze.

Edwin retrieved two different cups from a cupboard, one made from silver and one from crystal, and poured the liquid from the bottle inside the silver one. For the other, he took out Esther’s knife from his pocket and sliced his forearm with it. Blood tinted with ectoplasm began to pour inside the empty cup, and once it was three quarters full he removed the wound from it to avoid overspilling. He slid two fingers over the wound and the black smoke that was becoming familiar to Crystal ate up the blood and sealed the wound. Then, he reached for Charles' chain around his neck and took it off. Gently, he let it fall inside the cup that had his blood. He took a big piece of parchment paper, those old ones that you see only in movies, yellowed with age, thick, and coarse to the touch. 

With a grimace, he sank his fingers into the first cup. A low hum came from his throat, sounding almost like words but not really. He began writing symbols with the blood onto the parchment. With the other hand, he began tracing the same symbols again, on another blank sheet of parchment, on top of the first one. These symbols were mirrored, and written with his own blood from the second cup. Once he was done, a string of Latin came out of his lips, and the second set of symbols lifted up in the air, glowing golden light, and fused into the first set, on the first sheet of parchment. The other parchment disintegrated as soon as the last trace of blood left the paper. 

Edwin let out a breath Crystal hadn't noticed he was holding. Done, he took the parchment, and began ripping it in pieces, keeping each symbol inside its own square of paper, and placed the symbols inside the circle according to the instructions written down by his own hand. The bloody symbols then sank through the paper and sealed themselves to the linen fabric. Edwin waved his hand and all the blank pieces of paper flew from the array. Then he took the necklace from inside the second cup and put it into the first cup. 

He took the bathroom mirror, and placed it in the middle of the circle array spell, then took the necklace out of the cup and flicked it in the air where it remained still, frozen in place at about two metres high. The symbols on the bedsheet and the blood on the necklace pulsed with golden energy every couple of heartbeats.

“I need you,” he started to say, very clearly, “to not, for any reason, enter the circle.”

“All right” she said, heart beating like crazy. 

“Whatever I ask you to bring me, you will put it inside the circle without touching inside it.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.” Edwin repeated, breathing deep. He knelt beside the foggy mirror on the floor and began writing on it with his finger. At the same time, he spoke up, to keep her in the loop. “Charles? Are you there?”

Charles

are you there?

[spaghettificationandpretzels]

Friendly Encouragement

A/N @darklydeliciousdesires thank you for introducing me to this man. So writing this took like six turns, and it's now become a multi-part childhood best friends-to-lover anthology; this is part one. My confidence is still pretty trash, especially because this is a new fandom/character so I'm not all that happy with this even with the seven rewrites.

Contains: Fluff, supportive Sean, childhood best friends to lover, mild smut.

1.7 K words

After getting some help from Sean, there ends up being some revelations.

The daylight was well and truly gone, and Sean had been pouring over your rejected grant proposal for hours, trying to figure out why it hadn't made the cut.

He lifted his head off his hand, looked away from the paper and shook himself awake before throwing the folder onto the ground and turning to you with his jaw clenched. "I don't get it, love, it's flawless."

You shrugged. "It's also apparently too client focused. Too much about helping people and not enough about the bottom line."

He rolled his eyes, clearly ready to rant about what the heads of charities really got up to, before he stopped himself. "You're going to go back in there tomorrow and demand he reconsider."

You looked at him for a moment, hoping you'd heard him right. "Yeah, that's not going to happen, I don't even know where to start. I'd go to the CEO, but she's travelling, and he'll get ahead of it before I even try."

He was off the couch like a rocket, marching over to you with a determined look set on his face. "Then we'll practice."

He wrapped his strong hand around your upper arm and dragged you to his home office, letting you go a few feet from his desk before sitting down. "Pretend I'm this finance arsehole, we'll work through it together."

You wanted to protest, to tell him he was being silly, but the look on his face told you that you wouldn't be leaving the room until you did what he asked.

You sighed and threw your hands up. "Fine, but I don't see how this is going to help. I am capable of getting things done, it's just him."

He almost looked offended. "I know that, I've known that since you called Mr Bollen a pompous baboon in the fourth grade."

He paused and smiled softly, that disarming smile you had seen him use so many times before. "Think of me as an empty space, I'm not going to do anything other than sit here so you can bounce your ideas around."

You huffed. "Fine."

You left the room and closed the door, taking a deep breath before knocking twice. "Come in."

You walked in, head held high and back straight like you did that morning, and met Sean's eye, his serious look preventing you from laughing. "Mr. Campbell, I think you should reconsider my grant. The numbers page on page six made it clear that it's doable and…"

Your thoughts left you, and you flopped down onto one of the office chairs. "This isn't going to work."

Sean wasn't put off and reached across the table to grab your hand. "He's not the first pig you've had to deal with, he won't be the last. Now what's tripping you up?"

Sean had a knack for getting information out of people, so there was no point in lying, you just had to say it carefully so no one ended up dead.

It wasn't really that hard to relent with the way he was looking at you, his face neutral but his eyes full of twinkling affection that almost looked more than friendly, it made your heart flutter. "I'm pretty sure I lost the grant because I refused to go to the luncheon. I didn't think the money that could be going to the program should be spent on drinks."

You saw the fleeting glimmer of anger in his sea blue eyes, but it was gone in a flash, and you continued. "This isn't the sixties. He gave the grant to one of his drinking buddies, and it's not going to help anyone, and I can't do this because if I'm alone in a room with that prick, I'm going to hit him."

Sean chuckled and patted your hand lovingly. "Ah, love, you might not want to hear this, but you need to sink to his level." Your eyes went wide, and you stuttered about being unable to do that, but he cut you off. "I'm not talking about blackmail, just let him know that all it would take for him to lose his job is an off hand comment in the lift while the CEO is there."

You sighed, he was right, as always. He took in your look of resignation with a smile and waved his hand. "Well then, up you get. Once we can get through this without that bleeding heart of yours balking, I'll order in from your favourite restaurant."

You raised your eyebrows and shook your head. "Bribery, Sean, really?"

He still hadn't let so of your hand, and his thumb rubbed your skin affectionately. "Only the best for my favourite girl."

****

You were still riding the high of how well it all went when you showed up at Sean's. There was no point in knocking; the Wallace house was your second home, and you practically lived there. You waved to Mrs Wallace as you walked by the kitchen, and she gestured towards Sean's room to let you know where he was.

You rapped on the door, and his voice floated through the wood. "Come in." He grinned when he laid eyes on you and popped up from his small desk to greet you. "You're smiling, so it went well. Tell me everything."

It all came out in an excited flurry, going between telling him what had happened and explaining how the head of finance had squirmed like a coward the more you spoke. Sean's grin only grew until he was close to laughing, accepting your thanks graciously as you wrapped your arms around him.

He could feel your excitement as you spoke and he couldn't find it in himself to let you go as you finally slowed down and it became his turn to speak. "I'm very proud of you y/n." He paused, wondering if the tone of the hug was really changing or if he was just imagining it, but he took his chance anyway. "And it is I that should be thanking you, the way you have handled the last year has been admirable."

He didn't know how to put the rest of his thoughts into words, that you were all he thought of when he was away, that despite being back at the top, he felt achingly lonely when you weren't around, that he's loved you since he was sixteen. He tightened his arms around you and buried his nose in your hair. "I love you."

It wasn't a strange thing for him to say; you said it to each other all the time; it was the way he said it that gave you pause, but you replied nevertheless. "I love you too Sean."

"Not like that." He pulled away from the embrace, but only enough to place his hand on your cheek. "I've loved you since you showed up on my doorstep in that bubble gum pink dress the night of that stupid year ten dance."

It felt like a dream, the way he tucked a strand of hair behind your ears as he gazed at you like you were the most precious thing on earth. "Your mother bought me that dress. It was hideous."

The distance between you got smaller as you both leaned in, and he whispered against your lips. "I thought you were the most beautiful girl I had ever seen." His nose brushed yours, and his other hand left your back so he could hold your face in his hands as you moved yours to his shoulders. "You are the most beautiful girl I've ever seen."

When his lips found yours, it was like you had the last breath on earth between your lips. Your hands wove into his hair, and you moved in step towards his bed, finally stopping when the backs of your knees hit the edge. You pulled away from each other breathless, his hands moving to your shirt as you spoke. "I knew before you."

He chuckled as he pecked your cheek, his beard brushing your skin as he made his way to your neck. "Is that so?"

"It is." You broke contact only long enough for him to pull your shirt over your head, his polo following as you took in the sight of his bare chest. He was all lean muscle wrapped in pale, freckled skin.

He licked his lips as his eyes raked over your bare skin, then his lips were down your neck to your chest as he reached behind you to unclasp your bra. "When?"

It was hard to reply with his plump lips sealing around your nipple, but he looked at you through his red eyelashes in a way that let you know that silence wasn't an option. "Two weeks before the dance when that Harrison freak ruined my science project after I turned him down and you punched him."

He smiled against your skin before nipping you, the bite of his teeth sending a shiver up your spine. His lips found yours again as your hands moved to his belt, your fingers played with the buckle for a moment, but it was your turn to smile as you moved your hand down to palm his rapidly hardening cock through his black trousers.

It seemed to be tit for tat with him because he slid his hand down from your rib cage to use his long and dexterous fingers to pop open your pants, dispensing with any teasing so he could graze his fingertips over your bare flesh. Your breath caught in your chest as he slid his fingers through your slit, stopping for a moment to rub your clit before they continued with their nonsense patterns.

He parted from you briefly, his face flushed with lust as you managed to get his pants off and pushed them down enough to get your hand on his cock. He gathered himself enough to look at you like he wanted to swallow you whole and kissed his way to your ear to speak. "We have some catching up to do." With that, his hand left your pants, and he brought his fingers up to his lips to lick you off of them.

The sight was enough to make your knees buckle. "Yes, we do."

His lips were restless as you moved onto the bed to lie on your back, and then he was ripping your bottoms off, underpants and all, before shedding his own. "You're not leaving this bed until midday tomorrow."

His fingers were back on your centre, and the look in his eyes was positively heartstopping, a mix of lust and love that made it feel like your skin was on fire. "That's fine with me."

Fin

@daydreaming-belle

[basilone]

I want to hear your thoughts on fandom and the recent influx of the term content creation!

Well, anon, you are in luck! (Or not, depending on your definition of luck. 😉) I just so happen to have many Thoughts & Opinions™ about this. I will get wordy, this will get lengthy, and I will be social and put most of my thoughts under a readmore cut.

I personally try to avoid the terms ‘content’ and ‘content creation’ when talking about fandom works and a fandom’s creative pursuits nowadays. Occasionally, sure, it happens that it slips out anyway – it’s a term we’re all really used to using! – but I want to be as mindful about its use as possible. This is a personal decision on my account and I won’t get uppity about other people’s use of these terms, though.

But, Killy, you might say... why would you avoid using these terms? For me, here’s why:

Content is not synonymous with art;

Content creation indicates something different than art creation;

Fandom should not be subject to consumerism;

Fandom is about connection.

If all a fandom puts out is classified as content, that fandom is going to die.

Yeah. I know. Melodramatic much? I’m on my fainting couch here, folks. 😂 But let’s dig in, shall we?

You know, maybe it’s just the archivist in me that balks at the term ‘content’. Content is a data entry field in the archival system we use at my real-life job: literally speaking, this data entry field is where we put a brief summary of the document attached to that specific archival file. It contains information that tells you the key takeaways of what the document is about, but it will not contain the full text of the document itself. Content is one of the points of access for our archival search: I know what I’m looking for, so I put a few keywords into our search and it pulls up the relevant file. But what do I need, really need, in my line of work? It’s the document itself, not the data entry field. The document tells me the whole story that I need to be able to truly do my job well. The content-field is a cliffnotes edition of that story.

It’s the same way with the art we create in fandom. I’m gonna take myself as an example here, because I create a fair bit! (Shocking, I know. Local Tumblr cryptid sighting, more at 11. 😎) I spend hours writing fic. I spend hours sorting through screencaps before screeching at Photoshop for a lengthy amount of time. I spend days pouring over quotes, books, documents, photographs, tutorials, and other things that will help me create something cool. I apply color theory, art framing/perspective, narrative focus, and many other theories and techniques to my writing and my giffing. If I were to put my finished work or any of my WIPs in that same archive system, it would be the document within the archival file. The tags I use on my posts? Those are markers similar to the content-field. They tell you who my gifset depicts and from which show it is. They tell you which OC of mine my fic is about. My work contains these things I tagged.

But my creative work is not content itself.

Content is marketable, easy access, blurb-y stuff. Content is something you absorb within one minute flat. Content is the highlight reel. It’s what fills a page, something you’ll scroll past in a heartbeat, something that barely stands out in a long long long list of stuff. Content is what you consume on a lazy Sunday afternoon without ever being forced to read lengthy pieces, take in the details of what you see, pause mid-scroll to ponder the meaning of life, whatever else have you. Create content and you create a flash in the pan, a quick laugh maybe, before it fizzles back out again. Create content and it’s here today and gone tomorrow without anyone mourning its absence for too long.

Art should last longer than that, don’t you think? 😉

So when I see people put a fic request in an askbox and it’s phrased like “Speirs x spy!reader fluff” and that very same request makes its way into about ten more askboxes before the fandom starts comparing asks? I might be inclined to classify us all as slot machines. Put an ask in and out rolls a fic. Who cares which slot machine it came from? As long as you’ve got your painstakingly crafted fics that you consume the same way you do actual content, right? We, its writers, are just lucky if we get a pat of acknowledgement on our little slot machine head for our troubles, aren’t we?

When I see an overly detailed summary of what sounds like a full-fledged fic in an askbox and the demand is “write this for me”, I recoil from the screen and go “child, who the hell birthed you, were you raised in a barn?” out loud. If you can tell a story in the space of an askbox, consider asking for help to let that story – a story you own, a story that is more yours that it could ever be mine – grow into what it has the potential to be.

When I see fics and gifsets and other creations get likes but not reblogs, I mutter something about the state of fandom economy these days. We exist in a little fandom bubble. Our bubble can’t expand or blow from place to place without a little help from our friends. And you’re my friends, right? I know the follow-button says follow, guys, believe me, I’m not that far gone, but for me ‘follow’ means ‘friend’. 💚 You’re my buddy now. Suck it up. We’ll share a can of peaches. 🍑

When I see fics and other creations get reblogged without tags or comments attached, I die a little on the inside. I feel like a little Victorian orphan child going “please, reblogger, a little penny of thought for its creator, if it pleases?”. I feel like commentless and/or tagless reblogging is giving me nothing, nothing at all, about who you are.

And I want to get to know you! I want to know who’s in my notes. I want to know who’s scrambling through my MotA gifsets like a fat little raccoon inhaling its third helping of a box of jelly-filled donuts. I want to know who is adopting which character and why. I want to know that it’s your birthday, or that you had a bad day and needed a pick-me-up, or that you are locked in an Ikea at three in the morning reading my blog by the bright lights of countless Solhetta bulbs. I want to know that you love my OC Darlene but that you ain’t sure what the hell my OC Lottie’s got to do with anything. I want to know what tickles you – a turn of phrase I used, a color in a gifset, a little detail I captured that made me go !!!!!! on the inside while I was creating too – and I want to know what moves you.

What reaches into the soil of your being and nourishes you enough to blossom into whichever lovely self you can grow to be? What is precious to you? What comforts you in the dark nights of your soul, when all light feels like it’s faded out? What do you love, truly love? What feeling and thought and idea and love love LOVE do you consume – truly consume, head to tail, no takebacks – and what are you consumed by in turn?

Let me connect with you. Let me know the little internet scraps of you that tell me you’re a DeMarco girlie, or that you’re here for Hoosier only, or that you’re as feral and batty about Speirs as I am, or that you actually really can’t stand the one dude everyone else raves about. Let me know that you like angsty quotes on gifsets – feel free to yell at me for making you schedule an impromptu therapy session – or let me know you saw what I did in my fic there and you’ll be demanding compensation from me while you lie down and wail about it. Let me know you’re very into those lovely blues on a gifset (I know, SO good, right??) or that you are side-eyeing me because that close-up of your fave turned you into a little puddle.

Let me know what moves you, because I created these things with love. I created them because they moved me, too. I created them because I have a story to tell, somehow. I created them because the whole world is a string of stories and I want to pass the heart of them on to you. I created them not because I want to jump on a hypetrain that races past all the episodes and all the alternate universes and all the stories without stopping, but because I want to soak up the sun and point at something and tell you “look, isn’t this beautiful?”. I created them not because I am looking for a quick fix or a distraction or an escape, but because I want to give you something that nourishes you as it has nourished me.

That’s so much more than that quick flash in the pan, yeah? That’s so much more than what content could ever hope to be. That’s something that lasts beyond the clicks and gives you an ever-expanding horizon that leaves you wondering just what in the world is next.

Let me repeat point five: if all a fandom puts out is classified as content, that fandom is going to die. Because content doesn’t sustain you. Connection does. And connection? That happens with meaningful interaction. That happens when you stop getting followers and start getting friends. That happens when you treat all forms of art as something unique that can be precious to someone, rather than something to like today and forget about tomorrow.

Can I do a lil mic drop? Yeah. I think I’m gonna. Just this once. 🎤

[4townn]

bad dada !

౨ৎ pairing: husband!aaron t x wife!reader. fluff, crack, aged up, jesse is mentioned — wc: 400

☆ a/n: first time writing after a few months .. bear with me 😁 also no one's making these kind of fics in this fandom anymore :(( AARON T IS A GIRL DAD YOU CANNOT TELL ME OTHWRWISE

three years ago, you gave birth to your little bundle of joy, amari. it was kinda hard to get used to 'cause, well, parenting ain't easy, as jesse always says. but hey, luckily, your daughter is an angel, a mama's girl even. ever since she could walk and talk, all she does is tease her dada aaron.

"mama, dada's so old!" amari giggles.

"i'm only 34!"

every day is the best day for amari 'cause her mama is always with her, until today isn't going exactly how she wants it to...

"no mama! don't go!" her little hand tries to pull you inside the house.

aaron has suggested you go have a day to yourself. you know, you deserve it for being the best mother and wife in the world, he says.

your husband chuckles at the sight, "baby, mama's going to the mall so she can have time for herself."

your daughter sighs, defeated. "but i wan' go with you, mama..." you caress her cheek and smile. "mama's going to be back in a few hours, okay? we will go to the carnival tomorrow."

your daughter brightens up, "okay!" she claps excitedly as your husband picks her up.

"you know what to do." aaron nods and gives you a flying kiss before you close the door.

amari blinks a few times before rubbing her eyes. "i'm sleepy, dada.."

"let's go take a nap, hm?" aaron carries her back in the nursery.

a few minutes later, your daughter is asleep. aaron came back to the living room to watch tv and set up the baby monitor on his phone.

an hour later...

the show he's watching is so boringggg. aaron felt hungry. he wants something.. sugary and chocolatey. sweets in general. he looks through the cabinets and finds a jar. a holy grail of a jar you specifically told him not to touch, like, a million times.

your cookie jar.

he immediately took it and looked around to see if anyone's looking. aaron opened the jar and ate a cookie.

"dada?" beaded eyes look up to him suspiciously.

oh fuck. amari always tells her mama. aaron immediately hides the jar.

"nothing, baby." aaron smiles nervously. his full mouth and cheeks say otherwise.

"that's mama's cookie jar! bad dada!" amari glares at him as aaron shushes her.

"shh, shhh.." he gives her a cookie. "you can't tell mama about this, okay?"

she takes the cookie, smiles and runs up the living room. aaron sighed in relief.

a few hours later, you arrived with amari's favorite; donuts. aaron observed, made sure amari doesn't say anything about it, and he's relieved she didn't. god knows how you'll react. you'll burst.

bonus:

it only lasted a few days. she did tell on him.

"mama, dada ate your cookies."

"what?!"

"snitch!"

[fluentmoviequoter]

Self-Sacrificial

Requested Here!

Pairing: Jim Street x fem!SWAT!reader

Summary: You like Street as more than a friend, but think he will never feel the same. When you nearly lose him, you accuse him of not caring about you or anyone else because you can't see the truth.

Warnings: quick joke about being dead, angst to fluff, arguments, Street gets hit by a car, fluffy comfort

Word Count: 2.7k+ words

Masterlist Directory | Jim Street Masterlist | Request Info\Fandom List

“What are you doing?” Street asks from above you. He taps your leg with his foot as he continues, “You dead or something? You’ll be hard to replace.”

“I’ve been waiting for you,” you answer. “You’re late.”

As you open your eyes, Street shakes his head and offers a hand. You accept his help and allow him to pull you from the concrete beside the S.W.A.T. HQ entrance. Street leads you inside, but before you can greet the rest of your team, Lynch calls you into her office.

“If I get fired for waiting for you, I’ll be very mad,” you mumble as you pass Street.

“I need to talk to you as a woman, not as a lieutenant,” Lynch explains as you close her office door.

“Okay,” you murmur slowly. “As long as I’m not in trouble.”

“No,” she assures with a smile. “It’s about your relationship with Street.”

“Relationship?” you repeat. “We’re not-“

Lynch raises her hand to stop you. “I know, I’ve heard it. You’re friends, that’s all. If that’s what you’re sticking with, fine. But… you and Street are special.”

“You’re still talking as my accidental mother figure, right?”

Lynch rolls her eyes but doesn’t argue with your terminology. From the moment you began working with her, she took an unexpected role in your career and in your life.

“Just be careful, okay. Lie to yourself if you need to, but don’t let the blinders you keep on get in the way of everything else,” she concludes. “And if you decide to take those blinders off, let me know and we’ll get ahead of IA.”

“Blinders,” you whisper. “Sure thing. Thanks for the talk.”

Hondo knocks before he opens Lynch’s door. “We’re rolling.”

You nod at Lynch and then rush out after Hondo to join your team. Those blinders she mentioned are a topic you’d rather ignore. They’re important to you because the moment you look at Street the way you want to – as more than a teammate and friend – you’ll be exposed to the harsh truth that Street will never see you the same way. The only mirror image in this situation is the heartbreak you’ll see looking back at you.

As you climb into Black Betty, Tan and Luca are discussing a new restaurant opening this weekend. You should be used to their oddly timed topics by now, you think.

“I’d be happy to test it out for you,” Street offers. “Give me a few hours to get a date and then you can have a full review by tomorrow.”

Your jaw clenches. Street is your best friend, but that doesn’t make this any easier. Whenever he says or does something that reminds you of his ability and desire to date women who aren’t you, you take a step back. The teasing, the competition, and incredible bond you have with him strains when you do this, and he suffers because of your buried feelings, but losing him may be better than learning you can never have him.

“What do you think?” Street asks you.

You shrug and keep your attention on your helmet.

“C’mon,” he presses. “Everybody has an opinion on good restaurants.”

“You certainly do,” you mumble.

“What does that mean?”

Deacon and Hondo share a look that goes unnoticed by both you and Street. With your eyes down, and Street’s locked on you, it’s incredible to the rest of your team that you can’t actually see what is right in front of you.

“I’m sure it’s a great place for dates,” you agree.

“And?” Street questions.

“And what?”

“What is wrong with you?”

You shrug again and Hondo cuts Street off to explain the plan for the raid. He puts you and Street on opposite sides of the house, which is probably in your best interest.

“You can’t just ignore me,” Street whispers harshly as you exit Black Betty.

“We’re working,” you remind him.

“If you can keep working without getting exhausted from the back and forth of being my friend and ignoring me because you’re jealous about my date or something, I can do my job and ask a question.”

You take a deep breath, willing yourself not to respond to his low jab. “Let’s just finish the raid, Street, and if you want to make up more stupid ideas about why I don’t want to talk to you sometimes later, I’ll try my best to listen.”

Street reaches for your arm, but you step away quickly to join Deacon.

“You’re not just hurting him, you know?” Deacon murmurs.

You don’t answer, but as you follow Deacon to the west side of the house, you find yourself thinking about Street again. The feelings that stir within you every time you see Street hurt you far worse than they will ever hurt him. If you can survive his lack of feelings, he can deal with you getting some space.

“22-David, in position on 3 side,” Luca radios.

“30-David, ready on 4,” Deacon adds.

“26-David, go for 2,” Street says.

“20-David, breach on my mark,” Hondo commands. “3, 2, go, go, go.”

You follow Deacon into a side door and through a tight hallway. As you enter the kitchen in the back corner of the house, there’s no sign of the resident.

“Eyes on one suspect,” Street alerts. “He’s running east; 26-David in pursuit.”

“One in custody,” Luca calls.

Deacon gestures back toward the door you entered and tells your team that you’re assisting Street. As you run back into the yard, you navigate around the house and toward the road quickly.

“LAPD!” Street yells ahead of you. “Stop!”

The suspect turns off of the sidewalk suddenly and sprints across the road. You speed up as Street turns to follow him. A car engine rumbles around the curve, and you know they won’t be able to see anyone in the path until it’s too late.

“Street!” you yell.

The engine grows louder, and your lungs seem to constrict as you watch the driver round the corner. They appear to be going the speed limit, but that doesn’t make what happens next any less painful. As the suspect reaches the sidewalk on the other side, you only watch Street. The approaching car slides to a stop, but it’s not fast enough.

“Street!” you yell again.

The bumper knocks his legs out from under him, and his helmet dents the hood before he rolls back onto the asphalt. As you reach him, you rip your helmet off to see him better.

“Go get him,” Street implores, holding his stomach.

“No, Street,” you argue.

“Get him. I’m fine.”

Street groans and you know he isn’t fine, but you need that suspect in custody today. You leave your helmet beside Street and run faster than you ever have before. Without thinking, you tackle the suspect to the concrete and cuff him as he moans in pain.

“Hondo, Street’s down. Suspect in custody,” you radio.

“R/A’s en route,” Hondo replies.

Luca runs toward you as Deacon and Hondo approach Street. The driver is standing by his door and rubbing his hand over his face nervously. Everything in you wants to run back to Street and help him, tell him that he’s special to you and you need him, but that’s not your job right now. Maybe Lynch was right about those blinders, you think. Then, as you remember what Deacon said, you realize that the burning in your chest has nothing to do with how hard you ran, and everything to do with the fact that you may lose Street anyway, and he will never know that you see him as so much more than your best friend.

“Let’s go,” Luca says as he pulls the suspect to his feet. “You alright?” he asks you.

You swallow quickly and nod. The ambulance arrives as you and Luca meet the responding patrol officers, and you miss your chance to go with Street.

“He’s going to St. Stephen’s,” Deacon tells you after everything silences. “He was still conscious, so that’s a good sign.”

“Deacon,” you begin. “I can’t- I can’t lose him.”

“He needs you,” Deacon adds. “Luca’s gonna drop you off on the way back to HQ.”

You nod. Everything numbs as you follow Deacon to Black Betty. There’s nothing you can think of or say that will make this go away, not without telling Street everything. As Luca drives to the hospital and your team talks – it’s nothing more than muffled background noise as you stare at the empty seat before you – your emotions shift. You almost lost Street because he didn’t listen, because he got caught up in the chase and didn’t think about how his decision would affect him or anyone else.

“Thanks, Luca,” you mumble as you exit the double doors.

The rest of your team pulls away as you walk into the hospital. With your uniform still on, you don’t even have to ask anyone for help before you’re led to Street’s side.

“Hey!” he calls when he sees you. “Oh, ow,” he mumbles as he lays back.

Your plan to tell him the truth disappears when you see the smile on his face. He still doesn’t realize just how stupid he was.

“Glad you’re okay,” you say. “Though I’m sure that’s just luck. You- Street, that was so reckless. If you want to throw away your safety, do it on your time!”

“I-“

“No; whatever excuse you’re coming up with, just save it. You’re self-sacrificial and today proved why. You don’t care about anyone else, and you don’t seem to realize or care that I- that people care about you! When you pull that hero act, you’re showing how blind and how stupid you are.”

You release a breath as you finish. Part of you whispers that you’re being a hypocrite; Street isn’t the only blind and stupid one in this hospital room. He’s not the only one sacrificing parts of himself because he thinks being selfish and secretive is the only way to stay happy and avoid rejection. So, you decide to listen to the part that is mad at Street for risking his life and not caring how it affected you. And the rest of your team, of course.

Street’s brows furrow as you rant. After you fall silent, he asks, “Are you done?”

“Yeah,” you answer.

“I’m fine,” Street argues. “You seem very upset, and I’m sorry about that, but it’s a minor injury, and I-“

You weren’t expecting Street to argue with you, to find a way to make you seem wrong for caring about him. And when he says minor injury as if he wasn’t hit by a car, you know you can’t stay. Without a word, you turn and exit his room as you ignore his calls for you.

“Hey,” Hicks calls.

You look up and see him walking through the hall, likely to see Street.

“Is he okay?”

“He’s… he’s still Street,” you say.

“And you?”

You shrug and answer, “I didn’t get hit by a car. I’m heading back to HQ.”

Hicks nods and taps your shoulder kindly as you leave. You need to blow off some steam and get Street off your mind for a while, and HQ is the perfect place to do that.

As you call Deacon to come get you, Hicks enters Street’s room and closes the door.

“How you managed to not break your leg is a mystery for the ages,” Hicks says.

“Well, apparently I’m just lucky,” Street murmurs. “And blind, and stupid.”

Hicks nods as he takes a seat. “What’d you do to make her so angry?”

“Nothing! She’s mad because I’m ‘self-sacrificial’ and it was a misguided ‘hero act.’ Her words.”

“You think she’s wrong? No self-sacrificial motivations?”

Street looks away from Hicks as he considers why he ran after that suspect without looking and why he ignored you when you yelled his name.

“We got into an argument before we got there,” Street admits.

“I didn’t realize you two were already together.”

“We’re not. She, uh, she’d never.”

“Right,” Hicks agrees sarcastically. “Because that woman who just came in here and yelled at you for getting hurt doesn’t feel anything for you. Surely you can see, despite your track record, that she cares that you got hurt. She’s mad because she could have lost you.”

“She can’t lose something she doesn’t want.”

“Street, open your eyes. No one yells at someone they’re indifferent to. But someone you’re scared to lose? They’re worth getting mad about.”

Street replays your words in his mind. You don’t care about anyone else, and you don’t seem to realize or care that I- that people care about you! You almost said it, Street realizes. You almost admitted the very thing Street has thought for longer than he remembers.

“When can I leave?” Street asks.

“Easy,” Hicks answers. “They’ve got to observe you for a while and make sure you don’t have any internal damage.”

“Is the driver okay?”

Hicks stands and buttons his jacket as he says, “You’re not that strong, kid.”

As Street gets advice from Hicks, you try to avoid Lynch. It doesn’t go well, however, because the moment your fist makes impact with the punching bag, she appears.

“We need to talk,” she says.

“Can it wait?” you ask between a jab and a cross.

“No. I know you’re worried about Street, where that anger is coming from. But the question I have is, do you know why you’re so upset?”

“Because he could’ve gotten himself killed and he doesn’t care!” you exclaim.

“He doesn’t care that he could have died, or he doesn’t care that he would’ve been taken away from you?” Lynch challenges.

You drop your hands and exhale. “What does that mean?”

“You tell me. Is the anger because you care about him and need him or because he went against protocol? For me, I would be mad about the paperwork I had to do, but you…”

“So, what you’re telling me is that I got angry with him because I don’t want to lose him. The one man in the world that I have absolutely no chance of ever having. That doesn’t make sense.”

“Maybe not. Or it could be that the idea you can’t have him is just that – your idea. If you never give him the chance to answer, you’ll never know.”

“But I could lose him anyway,” you say softly.

“Or you could lose the chance to have him. Just… think about it, figure out why it bothers you so much, and then do something about it. Whether that’s telling him the truth or just being a supportive team member.”

You watch Lynch leave, then turn away from the bag.

“Ready?” Deacon asks.

“What?” you reply.

“I’ve been waiting for you to ask for a ride back to Street.”

“You don’t have to rub it in, Mr. I-know-my-teammates-well-and-have-scary-good-intuition.”

“It’s a wonder I even have a license to drive you with a last name like that,” Deacon teases as he leads you to the parking area.

Outside Street’s room, you stop and take a deep breath. After you knock, you step through the open door and stop at the foot of his bed.

“I’m sorry,” you begin. “I thought-“

“I care about you,” Street interrupts. “I like you. I’ve liked you for so long that I don’t remember life without you.”

Your eyes widen with Street’s confession. Even if he’s exaggerating, hearing that you’ve had an effect like that on Jim Street gives you hope. He’s everything you want and more, but you never expected to hear anything like this from him.

“I like you, too,” you confess. “That’s why I got so mad. I didn’t want to lose you, but I shouldn’t have said all of that about you. I’m sorry.”

“I was self-sacrificial. I couldn’t see that you cared, so I didn’t think it would matter.”

“Of course it matters, Street. You matter,” you insist as you walk to his side.

You take Street’s hand, and he smiles at you. There’s still a pain in you, a sympathetic, emotional hurt for Street and what you both went through.

“I guess it’s a good thing I was stupid and blind enough to get run over by an innocent bystander,” Street jokes.

“You’re insufferable,” you respond.

Your smile betrays you, and Street knows you don’t mean that. You meant everything before. Though you think it’s too early for him to be joking about his accident and the injuries he’ll certainly feel tomorrow, you appreciate his sense of humor and the way he holds your hand. He can be insufferable, but now that you’re finally accepting the truth that Jim Street likes you too, it’s different and it always will be.

[tildeathiwillwrite]

June of Doom Day 12

"I can't stand seeing you like this." / Dehydration / Grief / Coma

Prompts List | Masterpost

Fandom: Original Work

Words: 500

Tag List: @juneofdoom @fourwingedsnake @whumperofworlds @pigeonwhumps @mr-orion

@scaewolf

CW: hospital room, coma, car crash mention, death mention, worry, mild dehydration, guilt

A/N: here have a slightly fluffy drabble to make up for the last couple days.

------

“…and Sibling’s seeing someone now, I’ve met them, they’re very sweet. Haven’t known them for very long, of course, but I think they’re perfect for each other….” Caretaker trailed off, listening to the beeping of the heart monitor and the hum of the machines keeping Whumpee alive.

They sighed. “Wish you were awake, to meet them yourself.”

Whumpee didn’t respond, of course. They had been in a coma for almost three months following a nearly fatal car crash. The other driver had died upon impact, and Whumpee was barely hanging onto life by a thread when the paramedics arrived. Caretaker remembered the shock of that fateful afternoon when they’d received the phone call. The initial worry had been dampened at first, covered by the need to call Sibling and get to the hospital.

Of course, when they’d arrived and waited several hours during the emergency surgery their fear returned in full force, and it didn’t help when the doctors informed them that Whumpee was in a coma.

Caretaker hated to admit it, but they’d gotten used to Whumpee being in the hospital. Modeled their daily routine for one less person in the household, visited every day, and made mental notes throughout the day of things they wanted to tell Whumpee, even if they couldn’t hear them.

They softly smoothed out a few wrinkles in Whumpee’s bed sheets. “I can’t stand seeing you like this, y’know. Seeing you asleep, vulnerable, completely dead to the world…. I hate it. If there was a way to wake you up, I would go to the ends of the earth just to see your smile again.

“…the doctors warned us that you had a pretty serious head injury to be in a coma like this. If you wake up—no, when you wake up—you might have issues with how your brain works. You might be a completely different person from before the crash.”

Caretaker’s hands curled into fists. “That scares me. Even more than when I thought you were dying. I don’t know why, but it does. We’re not sure if you can even hear me right now, but I want you to know that even if something like that happens, even if it scares me, I won’t abandon you.”

A tear ran down Caretaker’s face, and they quietly brushed it away, becoming aware of the aching in their forehead and behind their eyes. When was the last time they’d had water?

…not since last night, if memory served. The coffee they’d had earlier in the morning didn’t count, no matter what Sibling claimed.

“I should go now,” Caretaker said, glancing at the clock on the wall, “visiting hours are almost over. But I’ll be back tomorrow! And maybe I’ll read another chapter of that book to you.”

They reached out and squeezed Whumpee’s hand before rising from the chair. “See you tomorrow.”

[catgrassplantdad]

tagged by @heymrspatel @gallawitchxx @kiinard @sgtmickeyslaughter @deedala

@energievie for this week's weekly tag wednesday! thanks cuties 🖤

name: jessie

age: 34

location: my living room. listening to my cat breathe loudly in her sleep lol

top sheet, yes or no? yes! i've never had a problem with them, like i don't get tangled in them or kick them down by my feet. but i also sleep like a corpse, so.

how many stuffed animals do you own? one! a platypus squishmallow

the names of your pets (and the explanations behind them): my cat has a human old lady name. because that is what she looks like to me. she actually started with a different name that sounds vaguely like it could be related to her current name, but in the first two years of her life i couldn't stop calling her this name so i decided to just stick with it full time.

favourite color: some days i prefer orange over green, some days it's the other way around.

any tattoos? yeah, i have ten.

how you transport your belongings (purse, tote, hands, pockets, etc.): a black leather backpack or just my pockets.

the last movie you watched: aliens

how long does it take you to get ready in the morning? i give myself a lot of time to get ready in the morning before work because i need to sit and have my coffee and my breakfast and sometimes write a little and just. take my time. exist. so like an hour a half. the actual process of getting showered and dressed is like 20-30 minutes.

favourite weather: either 55 and sunny or 80 and sunny. but also sometimes rain is really nice.

relationship status: i'm super married!

ice cream flavor of choice: mint chocolate chip, usually!

first fandom: ah, kind of spartacus? but really supernatural

how many books have you read this year? big ol' goose egg :( i've started a few but haven't finished any and i feel super shitty about it

first 4 words of your last notes app entry: "gift ideas for greg" lolololol

and finally, if you had to change your URL tomorrow, what would you change it to? maybe i'd go back to metalheadmickey but i really feel comfortable and at home with catgrassplantdad

tagging @howlinchickhowl @whatthebodygraspsnot @whatwouldmickeydo @gardenerian @rereadanon

@crossmydna @mmmichyyy @ardent-fox @softmick @thisdivorce

@sickness-health-all-that-shit @suzy-queued @too-schoolforcool if you feel like playing!

[luvfae]

47 with eddie roundtree please! maybe a last minute vegas wedding whilst on tour?

WAKING UP IN VEGAS

47: wedding day

fandom: daisy jones & the six

parings: eddie roundtree x f reader

warnings: alcohol use, drug use, swearing

You sipped from the straw that was floating around in your drink, smiling at your fiancé, Eddie, as he spoke to Warren from beside you.

“No man, you don’t understand,” Eddie said, responding to Warren’s question about the attractive women that were constantly around them. “Groupie’s are not a temptation, not when i’ve already found the love of my life,” he wrapped an arm around your shoulders.

“I’m happy for you guys, man,” Warren grinned, stoned out of his mind from all the marijuana he had smoked that day.

“Seriously, I would marry Y/N right now if I could,” Eddie said.

“Who said you can’t?” You piped up. “We’re in Vegas after all,” you smiled.

You hadn’t been engaged to Eddie Roundtree for very long, 3 months at best, but right now, tipsy from one too many margaritas, getting married this instant seemed like the right thing to do.

Hence why now the pair of you, and the rest of the band, were stood in a wedding chapel at 2pm on a Tuesday in Las Vegas. You were wearing a white sundress that you had bought back in Albuquerque, it wasn’t a wedding dress by any means, but it did the trick. Eddie was wearing a white suit he had found in the bottom of his suitcase.

Your hair was a mess, your makeup was mediocre but you didn’t care, not when you were standing hand in hand with Eddie in front of the altar, listening to him spill his heart out to you during his vows.

“You just get me, Y/N,” Eddie grinned from ear to ear, his cheeks rosy. “And that’s how I knew from the day I met you that i’d marry you.”

Warren sniffed, wiping the tears that were pooling below his eyes. “Love is beautiful, man,” he whispered to Graham, who was watching in shock horror as two of his friends impulsively got married.

There was mixed emotions in the chapel. Karen, Daisy and Warren thought it was a great idea, Billy and Graham thought it was ridiculous and Rod was stressed out, praying that the two of you didn’t regret this once you were sober.

“Do you, Y/N, take Eddie to be your husband. To have and to hold until death do you part?” The celebrant asked.

“I do,” you smiled, nodding your head. You had never been more sure of anything in your entire life.

“And do you, Eddie, take Y/N to be your wife. To have and to hold until death do you part?”

“I do,” Eddie said, instantly, his heart full, eyes swimming with adornment as he stared at you.

“I now pronounce you, husband and wife. You may now kiss your bride,” the celebrant said, a sour look on his face, repeating the same speech all day long to impulsive couples who decided to get married in Vegas.

Eddie grabbed your waist, pulling you towards him, pressing his lips firmly against yours. Your palms rested flat against his chest, smiling into the kiss, slowly pulling away as everyone cheered and applauded the pair of you.

“Ladies and gentlemen, it is my pleasure to present for the very first time, Mr and Mrs Roundtree,” the celebrant said, making everyone cheer again, especially Karen, Daisy and Warren who were jumping up and down in joy.

“This could be a fucking disaster by tomorrow morning,” Rod mumbled to Billy, clapping his hands, fake smiling. Praying to the Gods above that he wasn’t fetching divorce papers for the pair of you in less than 24 hours.

You threw the bouquet of flowers you had bought from a nearby florist over your shoulder, Karen was the first to catch them, cheering herself on happily, as if she ever wanted to get married.

“Sorry, but we have a line up of 2 more couples who want to get married so everyone has to clear out!” The celebrant yelled.

You left, hand in hand with Eddie, returning to the tour buses with the rest of the band where you spent the night partying and clinging to Eddie’s side.

When you woke up the next morning you had a pounding headache and you were attempting to go back to sleep, until memories from the day before flooded your mind and you gasped, sitting straight up in bed.

“What are you doing?” Eddie groaned, rubbing his eyes, watching you as you looked down at the dainty wedding band that now adorned your engagement ring. Then it hit him also, the pair of you had drunkenly gotten married yesterday. “No!” He yelled and your eyes snapped onto his as he sat up, running his hands through his messy hair.

“What?” You asked, worried that maybe he thought this was a mistake.

“We were supposed to get married on the beach or something,” Eddie said. “I was supposed to blow a shit ton of money on our wedding, not buy you a cheap ring and take you to a wedding chapel in Vegas.”

You giggled, your hands pressing against his cheeks, pushing your lips against his. “It’s a story for the grandchildren,” you said, resting your forehead against his. “I’m just happy that i’m finally your wife.”

—

Y/N ROUNDTREE: yeah, I thought my wedding would be big and glamorous, y’know, considering I was marrying a rockstar with money to burn… but it’s a story to tell and it was perfect.

[saiilorstars]

For Better Days | Ch.1: I Hate Camping

Fandom: MCU ○ Bucky Barnes x OFC

Story Summary: Chloe's forced to go camping with her brothers so Bucky decides to give her a few tips to survive...

Story Masterlist ○ Chloe's Masterlist○

Also available on Fanfic ○ Ao3 ○ Wattpad

Taglist: @ocappreciationtag​ @arrthurpendragon​ @anotherunreadblog @maaaaarveeeeel @stareyedplanet​@averyhotchner @foxesandmagic @kmc1989 @caplanbuckybarnes​

[If you’d like to be a part of any OC’s works/edits, let me know!]

His head was always clouded. In fact, Bucky couldn't really remember a moment where his head wasn't fuzzy and at a loss for coherent thoughts. Even after escaping HYDRA and freeing himself of their brainwash, he only ever felt real clarity a handful of times. And there was always one common denominator across all the individual moments.

"If you stare any harder, she'll burst into flames." Sam was smirking from ear to ear when Bucky met his eye. "You know, with that cyborg stare of yours…it could happen."

"Shut up, Sam," Bucky muttered. And then to lessen Sam's point, he turned away from Chloe and Sam's sister Sarah. Unfortunately, Sam had followed him to the porch steps and sat down with him.

"It's really not that hard, you know. I would think that after everything you've been through, asking some girl out would be easy-peasy, you know." Sam's smirk had not diminished in any way.

"I don't need your tips, Sam," Bucky said quietly. As much as he fought, he wasn't able to resist the urge to gaze ahead of them again.

Chloe was talking to Sarah and seemed pretty chippy about whatever their conversation was about. Bucky wouldn't say it but he could stare at Chloe for hours.

In the next minute or so, Chloe and Sarah started heading towards the house.

"Anything you need from us, just let me know, alright?" Sarah had gone up the porch steps, narrowly missing Sam's attempt to poke her leg.

Chloe had stopped in front of the steps, slipping her hands in her back pockets. "I will. Thanks, Sarah."

"What are you two up to?" Sam asked suspiciously when his sister had gone inside the house.

"She was giving me camping tips," Chloe said, leaving both Sam and Bucky confused. She rolled her eyes, knowing exactly what they were thinking. "My stupid brothers want to go camping."

"And you stupidly said yes?" Bucky said with a much too innocent smile. She pointed a finger at him, warning him to watch his words. Bucky laughed lightly. "Sorry, I just don't exactly see you as the camping type."

"I'm not," Chloe agreed, flatly. "But since I've blown them off so many times now, there's no way out of it." She pulled her hands from her back pickets and crossed her arms. "Unfortunately, I think I'll be dead by the end of this camping trip. I know squat about camping, which they'll take full advantage of."

"That they will," Sam nodded. "We'll miss you."

"Be quiet, Sam," Chloe muttered.

"Yeah, be quiet Sam," Bucky said as he stood up from his spot. "Chlo, let me help you out. I can teach you a few things before you head out."

"Really?" Chloe raised an eyebrow at him. "Aren't you leaving too?"

"My flight was pushed back to tomorrow so I have all of today."

"Yeah, and he wants to take full advantage of it," Sam said with a wide smirk. Bucky looked over his shoulder in a rather murderous way.

Shut up.

Chloe was none the wiser of the brewing murder plot so she accepted Bucky's help. "Guess it wouldn't hurt but if you make fun of me, I'll shoot you."

Bucky smiled at her fondly. There was no way she could make the shot but he'd still let her take it.

With a few things from the Wilsons' shed, the camping 101 crash course started. Chloe reiterated how the whole damn thing was beyond stupid. Who needed camping anyways?

Bucky found it amusing the way she didn't run out of things to hate on in regards to camping. "Dollface, you were an Avenger — a fugitive at some point — and camping is what seems like a challenge?"

"Don't laugh, Bucky Barnes!" Chloe pointed a finger at him the moment his lips twitched. Said finger started glowing blue, giving Bucky a good idea of what was to come if she decided that he was laughing at her.

"Alright, alright, come here," he motioned her to follow him. "If you're going to do traditional camping, then you're gonna have to learn how to set up a tent."

"I hate tents," went Chloe flatly.

Bucky's back was still to her so hiding his smile, almost laugh, was easy that time. "Yes, but you're gonna want a tent if you plan to sleep. Unless you're doing sleep bags outside."

"There's no fucking way I'm doing that!" Chloe said, appalled. "I'll actually murder my brothers then."

"Then let's practice setting up a tent." Bucky had done them the favor of taking out the tent pieces from the shed and left them on the ground. "It's a good thing the Wilsons love their camping too."

"Mhm…" Chloe eyed the pieces with disdain. "So where do I start or whatever?"

"Well, first you would want to make sure the area you pick to put your tent in is flat, alright?" Bucky looked back at Chloe, dead serious now. She nodded with him.

"Flat ground, got it. What's next?"

"A tarp on the ground before you set anything up." Bucky pointed at the folded tarp next to her.

"Why?" She reached over to pick it up.

"Keeps moisture out."

Chloe's nose crinkled with disgust. "Moisture? Eugh, what did I get talked into doing!" She groaned and slapped the tarp against her face.

Bucky chuckled then, and to his surprise Chloe didn't try to shoot him. He gently took the tarp off her face and assured her that it wasn't that bad.

After putting the tarp down on the ground, Bucky showed Chloe the tent poles they had to put up. Chloe felt her head spin when he started showing her the corresponding flaps in the tent. She had to slid the poles into the right ones or the whole thing would be messed up.

Bucky showed her how to do the first one then let her do the second one. She nearly ripped the fabric from frustration.

"Eugh, I hate this!" She was shoving the tent pole through the flap but it kept getting stuck so she had to pull it out and try all over again.

Bucky came around beside her and stopped her altogether with a hand over her wrists. "Let me show you again," he said, absolutely calm and patient.

Chloe let go of everything and watched him redo what she'd been trying and got it done so easily. "You're good at this stuff," she said with a faint smile on her face. "And you're a good teacher."

Bucky pretended to be solely focused on what his hands were working with because the alternative was looking at Chloe and therefore revealing the stark red blush on his face. "It just comes with experience," he said after clearing his throat. "The days of a soldier — the good one."

Chloe didn't miss the way he was quick to clarify what side of himself he spoke about — the urgency, really, like she would automatically assume that every part of his past was the Winter Soldier. She often hoped that one day he wouldn't feel compelled to always have to clarify his "good" and "bad" parts of life.

Eventually, the tent was built and although Chloe knew that she could've helped more, Bucky assured her that she had done it in the end. A pure lie since he was the one who set it up but there was no winning against that guy.

"Now taking it apart—"

"Will be my brothers' jobs," Chloe said decisively. Feeling Bucky's side-glance, she met it with a smirk. "I'm the little sister. They gotta do something for me, right?"

With that face, anyone would do everything for you. Bucky's face warmed at his thoughts. He quickly moved onto a different skill. Campfire set-up.

For that, they ventured a little further from the Wilsons' residence. On their walk, Bucky explained to Chloe what she needed to look out for.

"You're gonna want to find dead, dry wood. Nothing bendy and definitely nothing moist which means fresh wood us out too, got it?"

"Got it," Chloe affirmed and helped him find the right pieces of wood.

They started making a small pile of woods with the intention of lighting it when they were done. Bucky went into deep details about how to set the wood properly and how to light it.

"I hear you, I do," Chloe started, bringing her hands up from her sides, "But I could also just do this." She shot a ray of a psionic blast at the logs and started the fire.

Bucky deadpanned her grinning face (which was kind of cute). "That's not proper camping," he pointed at her.

"But I got the fire going," Chloe retorted. "Isn't that what we wanted?"

"You're cheating!"

"But is it actually cheating or is it me working smarter not harder?"

"Chlo, c'mon…" But Bucky was chuckling, which made Chloe start to do the same…which just meant the seriousness of the situation was gone and that she was ultimately right.

After properly learning how to put out the fire — without the use of powers — the two started heading back to Sam's place. Bucky still had some tips to hand out, like what she should bring, the things she shouldn't bring, what she should wear…

"I'm only going for a few days," she reminded him. "Any more than that and I'd personally hang my brothers."

Bucky chuckled at her. "So how'd you even get roped into this? You don't strike me as the camping type." She wasn't at all.

"It was my brothers' idea. Bonding or whatever," Chloe shook her head. "As if we couldn't do that at a restaurant or something. Even like a proper cabin and stuff. Ever been to Big Bear in California?"

Bucky gave a shake of his head. "Not really."

"That's my kind of camping, not sleeping-inside-a-tent shit." Chloe continued to complain all the way back to the Wilsons'.

She plopped down on the porch steps and motioned Bucky to do the same with her. He of course had no protests against the idea.

"I would much rather help you and Sam out on your missions. Aren't you guys headed to, like, Quebec?"

"I think so, yeah," Bucky said then laughed at Chloe's put-out reaction. "No need to get all grumpy, doll. It's not like we're going out there to have fun. You're the one who gets to go and relax, so have fun."

"You and I have very different ideas of what having fun is," Chloe said dead seriously, leading Bucky to laugh again.

"If your definition of having fun is going on a mission in the middle of nowhere, then I fear we do…"

Chloe shot him a look but in a few seconds it dissolved and she was smiling at him…which then made him do the same. Her smiles were always infectious.

"I would still rather be with you — and Sam!" Chloe's face flushed immediately as she heard her own mistake. "With you and Sam on your mission, I meant…" She cleared her throat and looked straight ahead. What she would give for the ground to open up and swallow her whole right now…

Luckily, Bucky didn't seem to notice her 'grave mistake'. He reiterated that a nice camping trip was still the better choice. Chloe agreed to disagree and before she could make a fool of herself again, her phone rang in her pocket.

"I'll leave you to that," Bucky said and stood up from the steps. "Hungry?"

Chloe nodded at him. "A bit."

"I'll see what they have going on in the kitchen. Don't be long — it's getting cold out here."

Chloe chuckled. Bucky didn't feel cold the same way she and the others did, what with the serum and all. Still, he was always attentive to the weather for their sake — for her sake. She was no stranger to his sweaters and jackets when they happened to be outside in a chilly moment. She loved his attentiveness, making her feel quite the special girl…not that she would ever say it out loud.

"Hello?" Chloe answered the phone before her thoughts got away from her too much.

"Hey! I was just about to hang up. You took forever to answer!" Seren Soul was on the other line and much like always, she was very cheery.

"Sorry, I was, uh, getting some camping 101…" Chloe looked back at the house and saw the front door was shut. Bucky was long gone.

"Ah, so you couldn't get out of it then? You'll be camping with your brothers?"

"Horrific, I know," Chloe said with a sigh. "And me, the worst camper in history. I'm sure they'll be ganging up on me. It's what brothers do, especially older ones."

"Times like these, I'm glad to be an only child!"

Chloe smiled dryly. "You want one? I have two so I can definitely spare one."

Seren laughed. "No, no, I'm good. I like my life just the way it is."

"Mm, I bet you do," Chloe smiled. She could hear the faint hollering of kids in the background. "Sounds like you have a show going on over there…"

Seren hummed. "Oh, you know. With a five year old and a toddler in the house, Steve and I barely get a moment of peace. What you're hearing right now is a rendition of Frozen. For the third time today."

It was Chloe's turn to laugh. "Record and send please. You know I love my God-children."

"Will do! So I was just calling to see if you still need me to pick you up at the airport?"

"Yes, if you still can of course. I need to get packing asap. Sort of left it for the last minute."

"Of course you did. What about Bucky? Steve said he had a mission in Quebec or something? Is he not coming back to New York first?'

"He's flying out tomorrow instead. Apparently, his flight got delayed. But the mission's still on. Wish I could join them instead of this camping stuff."

"Right, and it totally has nothing to do with the fact you'd be spending the whole week with Bucky instead of your brothers, right?"

Chloe could hear the smirk on Seren's face. "You don't know what I'd rather do than camping. Don't underestimate my hatred for camping, Seren."

"Oh, I don't, but I also know you'd rather be with Bucky 24/7."

"I'm gonna hang up now."

"Oh c'mon! All I have at home right now is Let It Go and a stupid snowman going 'I've been impaled' on repeat. Give me something, Chloe!"

Chloe rolled her eyes. "There's nothing to give, Seren. We've been over this many times."

"Yes, so I don't understand what keeps getting lost in the conversations. It's quite simple, really. You like Bucky. Bucky likes you. See? Simple."

Chloe snorted. "I know you of all people are not telling me about having feelings for someone when you literally spent how long denying your feelings for your current husband?"

"Well take it as someone with experience, then," said Seren. "You should tell him. I mean, you guys are at this secluded place, right?"

"You mean Sam's family home? Where Sam and his sister and his nephews live? You see the problem, right?"

"Yes, okay, but truthfully there's not gonna be a right moment and I feel like you're just prolonging this. Bucky too. It's so obvious that it's painful to watch."

"Goodbye, Seren." Chloe was prepared to end the call right there when Seren shouted at her to wait.

"I bug you with the best intentions," she said as a weak apology. "I'm your best friend. I'm just trying to help you out. Sorry."

"I know you are," sighed Chloe. Seren would never do anything malicious. Chloe wasn't even sure Seren could do something of the sort. "But it's a lost cause."

"Mm, I wouldn't be so sure, Chloe. But I'm gonna have to put a pause on the conversation. One of my kids is making eyes at my bookshelf…"

Chloe chuckled. "Good luck with that."

"Ditto! Gotta go!" Seren hung up shortly after, leaving Chloe to dwell on the conversation and her thoughts.

Eventually, Chloe gathered herself up and went back inside to have her last dinner with the Wilsons and Bucky. She struggled to take her mind off Seren's words whenever she glanced at Bucky. He was damn cute when he interacted with Sam's nephews. He was clueless around them but that was the charming part. She liked watching him trying to be him — carefree and simply trying to live. He deserved the opportunity and much more. Which was why she often re-decided to keep her feelings to herself. She didn't want to add any kind of stress to his life and his new journey to build himself up again. What she wanted most was to see him happy and if she had to do it as his friend, then so be it. It was a small price to pay for his happiness.

~ 0 ~

The following week, Bucky counted each day that passed by like his life depended on it. Never had time gone by so slowly. Despite the fact he spent half the week in Quebec on a mission, time still managed to pass by so damn slow. He knew why, he just didn't admit to it out loud…not that it stopped Sam from teasing him about it. The fact that Chloe was camping and completely away from technology wasn't supposed to hit him that badly. It was like a dry spell.

Time was when he lived in Wakanda, he had to go days — weeks even — without contact from Chloe (and the rest of their friends). Now he was so used to having Chloe at a simple call away that it seemed outrageous to have gone almost a week without hearing from her.

On the day that she was supposed to be back in the city, he got a message from Steve in the evening. He was supposed to go to some bar down in Manhattan. Bucky didn't think twice. For once, it looked like Steve was playing the wingman.

When Bucky stepped inside the bar, his eyes immediately scoured the area for his — Chloe. He scoured the area for Chloe. It didn't take long for him to spot the gorgeous blonde sitting at the bar counter with their friends Seren and Steve. She looked so happy, not to mention crazy beautiful. She was wearing a dark dress hugging her body so nicely…

His feet walked before he even thought about it. It was Steve's voice that broke him out of his trance — he was greeting.

"You and Sam didn't kill each other!" He clapped Bucky on the shoulder.

"Don't sound so sad about it," Bucky mumbled. His eyes barely left Chloe when he greeted Steve and Seren. "How was the camping?" He asked Chloe, who immediately snorted.

"Peachy," she said, raising her glass up at him. "I should have gone to Quebec with you."

Bucky half smiled at her. "That bad, eh?"

"Get a drink, it'll be a long night by the time I've finished telling you everything my dumbass brothers did to me."

Bucky's smile spread. He would've laughed had Chloe not been so serious. That, however, didn't stop Seren and Steve from laughing.

"Shut it you two," Bucky warned the couple.

"I think we're no longer needed here, honey," Seren whispered to Steve. He agreed with a hum and took out a few bills to cover their bill.

"We'll be seeing you two," Steve said, slipping out of his stool. He took his wife's hand and walked away.

Neither Chloe nor Bucky seemed to mind — they barely noticed them leave.

"So," Bucky sat next to Chloe, "how bad was it, really?"

Chloe had a tight smile on her face when she answered. She hated camping before, but now she detested it. Camping was useless to her. Pointless.

Bucky let her go on until she literally ran out of things to say. He thought the whole thing was funny. Chloe was a bit of a drama queen — he loved that about her and he would never change that — so he knew the camping couldn't have been that bad. Sure, her brothers may have messed with her but not to the extent that she swore up and down by.

After a few more drinks, Bucky decided it was time to cut her off. She didn't seem drunk but it was better to quit while they were ahead. She didn't mind, especially when he asked if he could walk her home.

Screw the drinks, Chloe immediately thought and was getting up from her stool before Bucky even offered to pay for their drinks.

They were soon on the street heading for Chloe's apartment. Bucky shrugged off his jacket and draped it over Chloe's shoulders, earning a soft smile from her in return.

"Thank you," she said and held the jacket closer around her.

"So how bad was the camping trip really?" he asked her.

"Bad," Chloe groaned, making him laugh. "I'm being serious. I got a ton of bug bites! I'm pretty sure I touched something I was allergic to because I got a wicked rash on my foot!"

Bucky laughed again. "What, were you walking barefoot or something?"

"Ha, ha," Chloe mimicked his laugh before shooting him a sharp glance. "I'll have you know that I saw a spider and I bolted."

"So you were walking barefoot?"

"Running, if we're being technical."

"You're lucky all you got was a rash, then. You never walk barefoot in the woods!"

"Don't you think I know that!? I got scared!"

"Of a spider?" Bucky teased her. "You have been through hell with missions and you are still afraid of spiders?"

Chloe couldn't take his laughter. She pulled his jacket off her shoulders and used it to smack him with it in the middle of the street. Bucky's laughter actually got louder instead.

"Alright, alright, I surrender!" He said with his hands covering his head. Chloe was smug at her victory and stopped hitting him. "So much for all the Winter Soldier training…" He mumbled under his breath and gazed at Chloe fondly. She was still semi-glaring at him but a little smile was trying to overshadow it. He reached over and took his jacket from her and placed it over her shoulders again. "Okay, I'm done now. I promise."

Chloe still did her best to keep glaring at him. "I could shoot you right now…"

"And I could take it…right now," he copied her with a smug smile. She rolled her eyes. He chuckled. "I'm done." He tugged his jacket closer around her, and in the process her body to his. "You know I'd let you win any day."

"This doesn't sound like you're 'done' to me…"

"I had one more, sorry."

"You're still taking me home?"

"You know it." Bucky let her go and instead took her hand in his. He didn't often touch her and when he did, he always tried to do it with his flesh hand. Especially these days and nights when it was colder, he didn't want to add on to the coolness. Chloe never said a thing, though. She loved any of his touches, no matter how minimal they were (and they usually were).

They walked the rest of the way without bickering and hitting. Chloe finished telling Bucky about the rest of her camping experience and declared that she would never, ever, go back to such a horrid thing.

"Think I've never heard someone hate camping so much," Bucky said with a chuckle.

Chloe reached her apartment door first and searched for her keys in her purse. "There are just so many other great things to do, Bucky. Why would I ever want to go back to the dirt and sleep on the ground?"

Bucky rolled his eyes and watched her unlock the door. "I guess I'll leave you to it, then…"

"What?" Chloe looked at him quickly. "I thought…I mean — do you want to come in? You haven't told me about your mission in Quebec."

"I haven't…" Bucky agreed. He would take any excuse to spend more time with her. He let Chloe tug him inside the apartment like he didn't have super strength. He'd let her lead him any time and anywhere.

Chloe took his jacket off and handed it back to him. "Oh, you know what? I have something of yours here too. Give me a sec!" She hurried off into the hallway, disappearing for all of two minutes before coming back with another familiar jacket in her arms — a few of them. "Think I've been making you a spot in my closet or something."

Bucky hadn't even realized she'd been accumulating his things but he remembered each and every one of his jackets draped over her shoulders. Every time they were out somewhere and he thought it was chilly, he would give her whatever he was wearing to cover herself up.

"Anyways, thanks for letting me borrow them," Chloe put the jackets on the table for the moment. "Don't worry. They've all been washed."

"Doll, you did not have to do that," Bucky said, making her chuckle. He wouldn't mind having some of his things smelling like her.

"I know, but what kind of friend would I be if I returned everything all dirty?"

He watched her set his pile of clothes on the table for him. His heart was yearning for her. "Well, why don't I thank you for the gesture? Maybe some dinner tomorrow somewhere nice?"

Chloe heard the question and for a second wondered if she was jumping to conclusions because it very well sounded like a…

"Like a…a date?" She had tried saying it boldly but her voice had shaken in the end. She tucked some hair behind her ear and looked at him nervously.

Bucky gave a firm nod of his head. "A date." Why not? He already made a fool of himself plenty of times before, so what was one more time if it meant he could go out on a date with the prettiest girl in the world?

"Okay," Chloe nodded, smiling with an even darker blush on her face. "Yeah, I'd love that. Um, yeah!" She bounced excitedly and threw her arms around Bucky, laughing with him.

He loved hearing her so happy and he wanted to keep being the reason for it. He passed his flesh hand on her cheek, taking the moment to gaze at her. "You're real pretty, doll."

Chloe smiled from ear to ear. Even though her nerves were making her heart race intensely, she couldn't be any happier. "And you're very handsome…" She retorted, reaching for his other arm — the metal one — and brought it around her waist. Her sharp look was that of a challenge in the face of Bucky's hesitance. "I like you all," she said bravely and after a few more seconds of boldness, she added: "And I love you all."

Bucky blinked a few times at her. His lips parted several times but each time he was unable to say a word. How could she be more brave than him?

His metal hand gripped her waist and sighed. "I love you but you are way more than I deserve."

"No," Chloe said, still smiling, "We are exactly what we deserve." She leaned forward, touching noses. "Now I know you're all about being proper but what's it going to take to get a little kiss from you before the date?"

Bucky chuckled lightly. "Not much if I'm being honest."

"Ooh, I like that answer…"

"Yeah?"

Chloe chuckled with him. "Yeah!"

"Already off to a good start then…" Bucky mumbled and pressed his lips against hers. He could hear Chloe's giggle against his own lips and by God, it felt even better reverberating against his skin.