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j-elaine-hyde · 4 years ago

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The Bean Chronicles: Part 7

Henry Cavill / Reader / Chris Evans

You spent the entire day wrapped up in a blanket on the sofa, reading every headline and tabloid story about your new castle with Prince Charming. It was the obvious choice, but they took your sweet lament and twisted it into a dig. “A source close to the couple...” was cited as saying you were a runaway bride and now a heartbreaker, a two timer, and the destroyer of friendships.

Everything was blamed on you. But it’s honestly how you felt anyway. You didn’t need the celebrity gossip columns telling you. Pictures of chummy Henry and Chris were posted next to pictures of you and Chris, smiling happy, seemingly perfect. The only pictures they had of you and Henry were of the two of you shielding yourselves and rushing to the car. The whole thing was twisted, facts were missing, and you were the only bad guy.

Seeing the pictures of them together almost hurt more than the pictures of you and Chris. No one knew about Bean. No one knew you had met Henry first. No one knew that Chris moved you out of his house via moving company after a fight with no warning. It didn’t excuse or justify how it all happened, but no one cared that life isn’t purely black and white. And they were taking his side.

“Darling you have to quit reading that bullshit.” Henry came in and took the iPad from you, placing it on the coffee table.

You glared up at him, pouting that you had been caught.

“I need the punishment. I deserve it.”

Henry scoffed as he shook his head, “Come here my little masochist.” He patted his knee.

You shed your blanket and perched on his lap, snuggling close, breathing in his scent.

“You know thats all bullshit. It’s not the whole story. We all played equal parts and did the best we could in the situation, which they know nothing of.” He rubbed your arm, which would normally soothe you, but now it just made it worse.

“They’re not wrong Hen... I am the bad guy. I broke Chris’s heart and ruined your friendship....”

Henry sighed heavily, “And what about everything that was done to you my love? Hmmm? Honestly I don’t even want you to think about that. But you’ve been through an awful lot, and it’s not your fault. I might have lost my friendship with him, but I’m happily with the love of my life who is now my best friend... They can twist what they know however they want. But soon enough they’ll move on, and we’ll always know what actually happened. Unfortunately whether we want to or not.”

Ashley walked in, almost dropping the things in her arms. “There’s a ton of paparazzi outside...”

“We know.” Henry grumbled.

She came into the room and sat her stuff down before plopping onto the sofa. “You doing ok?”

You gave her an unconvincing nod, your face giving you away. “I’ll be fine.”

“You better hold on to her Cavill. She’s got that imma say something face and your street is filled with the wrong people to hear what she’s gotta say....” Ash gave him a look letting him know she was serious.

Henry scowled, but held on to you. “You know you can’t do that, right?”

“Why can’t I?” You jerked your head around giving him a look that said ‘try me’.

“Nope!” Henry slung you over his shoulder and walked down the hallway with you to the bedroom, as you laughed the entire way.

The next morning you were drinking your coffee and peering out the blinds at the mass of paparazzi still posted up outside the house.

“Don’t even think about it, my love. We talked about this....”

You were so dazed while looking out the window you hadn’t noticed Henry standing beside you.

“I’m not going to. But I do have to leave today to go meet the designer at the house. So that’ll be fun.”

“You’re not driving, are you? We can call for a car.”

You turned away from the window, “Ash already did.”

You were in the backseat of the blacked out SUV watching as the camera flashes tried to capture a picture of you for their next story.

You managed to arrive safely at the new house and were blown away by the work the designers had already accomplished. You were still excited but somehow it felt like this new start, safe space, had been violated.

You walked onto the balcony off of the master bedroom to take in the view. It was only a few moments later that you heard that all too familiar sound. Feeling anxious you turned around and went back inside.

“We’ve gotta go.” You brushed passed Ashley straight into the garage. She climbed into the backseat with you, shutting the door behind her. “Should I sell the house? Should we move somewhere else? I was just upstairs on the balcony and there was a photog on the back fence.”

“Don’t sell the house. Don’t let them win. It’s your fairy tale castle and your happily ever after... just hire security.” Her blasé attitude towards the paparazzi made you feel batter. “Just make sure it’s a hot security guard.”

The two of you laughed as you drove through the hoards of lenses.

You pulled into the driveway at Henry’s house, and went inside. You found him sitting in his office at his computer playing online games, shouting into his headset. Taking the opportunity you snuck out and grabbed the iPad taking it into the backyard.

“Chris Evans steps out in Boston with new girl” felt like a gut punch as soon as you read it. It was only fair, but it hurt you nonetheless. You scrolled through pictures of him and some blonde on a date. They were sitting in the park eating ice cream, laughing and smiling.

You knew better, but did it anyway, and scrolled down to the comments. Almost every one of them was hate for you, and praise for him for moving on. “That’ll show her!” Stung a little more than you would have admitted.

You continued on to other sites, pictures of him and women were everywhere. He was never a public person with his personal/dating life, but he was doing this intentionally. You had a sneaking suspicion tomorrow it would be a yet another new girl. His playboy Casanova ways would rear their ugly head in unprecedented ways. He was doing this to hurt you. He was doing it all for show and spite and to save face. You were curious what he was posting and went to his Instagram. The only picture he’d personally posted almost choked you.

There wasn’t a caption. Only endless comments begging him not to be sad, a million broken heart and crying face emojis lined the comments. The others were red angry faces that you were evil and broke his heart. It was too much to bear.

“Two can play that game...” you snarled as you locked the iPad and stormed inside.

You found Ashley going through the mail, deciding not to make a joke about hiding letters, and asked for her help.

You divulged your grand plan and with a quick outfit change sauntered into Henry’s office. You had played different console games before, but were completely new to the world of PC gaming. But you knew Henry loved you, and would let you crawl into his lap as he played. You also knew he had a spare headset he’d offer so watching him would be more fun.

Just as planned, you crawled into his lap, careful to not interrupt his game. With a kiss on the neck, and a quick gesture, Henry pointed to the headset for you to slip on. He continued playing, enjoying the fact you were taking an interest, not the least bit upset to have you snuggled against him.

What he didn’t see was Ashley snapping pictures from different angles behind the two of you. You tilted your head and wiggled your ass, knowing it’d elicit another kiss. That would be the petty gold you posted on Instagram.

You had avoided posting altogether for the last couple of weeks, understandably so. You hadn’t even opened the app to look at the countless notifications. You knew there would be a mix between hate and an out pouring of support.

You stayed snuggled in Henry’s lap until he reached a stopping point. Sliding the headphones off of his head, he hugged you tightly and whispered in your ear.

“I love you Darling... you know that, don’t you?” You could feel his breath hot against your skin, but a quick kiss below your ear gave you goosebumps.

You craned your neck to face him, “I love you more.” Another kiss and you moved to get up before his massive arms locked you in place.

“Hey! Smile you two!” Ashley jumped next to the two of you, leaning forward to snap a picture.

The two of you didn’t even have to pose. You ignored the camera, smiling and laughing at each other, a quick kiss, and just generally being an adorable couple in love.

“Sorry, she hasn’t posted to insta in a while and we need something cute and relevant, to distract from the chaos.”

“Yes... well... a couple that plays together, stays together.”

You laughed as you looked at him, “Is that my caption?!”

He laughed a loud hearty laugh, “No! That’s my comment on whatever you post. You can’t steal it.”

With a grin you shook your head, “Fine...”

Later that night you had finally picked the perfect pictures and edited them. You came up with a caption that seemed like the appropriate amount of smartassery and snark. And with the click of a single button they were posted. ‘The only games we’re playing...’

You tossed your phone onto the sofa and went to the kitchen for a victory snack. You were proud of yourself. You knew Chris would see it and be irritated. A check mate for the childish game he obviously wanted to play. Henry walked into the kitchen to find you sitting on the counter fighting to open a roll of chocolate chip cookie dough.

“Darling...Are you going to bake that? Or just eat it out of the tube?”

With a look of a child caught with its hand in the cookie jar, you bit your lip. “Eat it?” You replied sheepishly.

He laughed as he pulled you to the edge of the counter, standing between your knees. “Are you going to share?”

“Kal can’t have cookie dough....” you shook your head, giving him doe eyes and a pouty lips.

He rolled his eyes as he quickly leaned in and took a giant bite out of the side, leaving an open bite shaped hole.

“Mr. Cavill!!” You screeched and laughed jerking the cookie dough further away from him in a pretend game of keep away. He stood still, giving you puppy dog eyes as he silently spit out the plastic liner. “Ohhhhh gross. You punk.... this is mine.”

“You won’t share?! With me?! Mrs. Cavill!” He jokingly shouted before realizing what he had said.

His comment caught you off guard for a split second before you wrapped your legs around him, locking him against you and the counter, “Not yet... but I will be.”

He leaned in and kissed you, sneakily distracting you as he ripped the cookie dough out of your hands, holding it up high above his head and out of your reach.

“Give me a kiss....” he commanded.

And you did.

“Tell me you love me....”

And you did.

“Say please....”

You looked up at him with a mischievous grin.

“Please Daddy...”

He dropped his arm, and leaned in, bringing his face close to yours. “Forget cookie dough, now we’re going to bed.”

He threw you over his shoulder and carried you to bed, kicking the door closed behind you.

#romance #fiction #fanfic #chris evans #fanfiction #henry cavill

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i-want-anne-hathaway · 4 years ago

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BE MORE CHILL 2 ELECTRIC BOOGALOO

Objectively speaking, the instrumentals for the OBC are better than the original recording.

Will Roland has a much more... nerdy sounding Jeremy, which I feel like is not the vibe Will Connolly gives off. Which is fine because I think that they’re still good in their own regards.

The instrumentals for this version are just so much, for lack of a better term, groovier.

Michael sounds so soft in this version, and I’m not sure how I feel about that. I’m undecided.

Ya know, I used to trash on the way the OBC sounded because it was just so different from what I’m used to, but I kinda dig it now.

Christine is an icon, and I will forever stan.

I do appreciate the extra dialogue because it feels more natural, and I think that I find that a lot throughout the OBC. The vocals sound more real to me. Sometimes I like it, sometimes I prefer the original.

The Squip Song being one of those times where I prefer the original. This might just be me, but I can hardly even hear Rich in the Broadway version. And they took out a pretty big chunk of the song, which I don’t appreciate.

The OBC Two Player Game is on my actual musical playlist, and I really enjoy it. Maybe not more than the original, but I do think that it’s good.

And The Squip Enters. I- I don’t like the voice of the Squip in the OBC, but I do understand that the point is that it’s supposed to sound very... idk how to describe it.

Once again, the extra dialogue included in this is very entertaining.

HOLY CRAP, I FORGOT ABOUT THE BEGINNING OF BE MORE CHILL PART 1. I LOVE IT.

“Everything about you is just terrible” “Terrible?” “Terrible” “Awww”

Do people still listen to Eminem? Like, a valid question on Jeremy’s part.

“LOOKING! PRETTY! SEXY! BROOKE-A” Iconic

OBC DO YOU WANNA RIDE IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN THE ORIGINAL! IT’S SO MUCH GROOVIER, AND THE INSTRUMENTALS ARE JUST- AHHHH

Do you wanna ride but she never stops saying pink berry will almost be my favorite thing I’ve ever said.

Ya know the Squip’s voice is growing on me. Singing wise at least. I’m still wildly uncomfortable when the SQUIP speaks.

Throwback to when I said “all musicals have weird, dumb, and easily preventable plots,” to which I received much backlash from the students in my drama class. Be More Chill was the first example I used because what the actual fuck.

A Guy That I’d Kinda Be Into has significantly quieter ensemble parts, and I kinda like that.

Why the fuck is The Squip Lurks almost 2 minutes? What was the point? America, exPLAIN-

I have mixed feelings about the Broadway version of Upgrade. I like it if I don’t think about the other version of it. Because I like the Broadway Upgrade, but I think that like... objectively speaking, the other one is better. It adds the little section about everybody wanting to be a different person than everybody views them as, but the other ending was just better in my opinion.

Okay, I like Loser Geek Whatever. I think it’s relatable and fun. It shows that Jeremy had doubts about leaving Michael, and I think that that’s important.

Okay, but are you really a musical protagonist if you don’t leave behind and ignore the friends who helped you for your own personal gain Cady, Jeremy, Evan Hansen, Riley Williams

OBC HALLOWEEN IS SUPERIOR! THE INSTRUMENTALS MAKE THIS SONG, AND IT IS SO MUCH MORE FUN TO LISTEN TO ON THE OBC!

Thinking about her*

*the Chloe valentine redemption arc story I read yesterday

OBC Michael in the Bathroom is so much softer, but I prefer the louder and more forceful Michael of the original recording. They get the same point across, but when I had a panic attack for the first time, I wasn’t just sad, I was angry.

The fact that I enjoyed that Chloe Redemption Arc story so much scares me because I’ve sworn that I would avoid the BMC fandom at all costs, but I want more dammit.

Tiffany Mann is an icon, and I will stan until I die. I’ve watched I video of them rehearsing this song a billion times and it’s so perfect. The way that Lauren almost hits George with her banana peel is just- I love it. And the fact that they added Lauren screaming. And Tiffany Mann just killed the end of it.

I also like The Pitiful Children on this version, but I do still prefer the original.

Okay, so apparently in the Off-Broadway version, Chloe wore a retainer to bed, and I love that fact.

I JUST FOUND OUT THAT BROOKE DRINKS LA CROIX! I CAN’T! IT’S JUST TOO MUCH FOR ME TO PROCESS!

This is just me looking at the trivia section of all of the characters wiki pages. Brooke’s Squip is Mary-Kate Olsen, and I don’t know why I’m not surprised by that.

My opinions on OBC The Pants Song are the same as the original. It’s slightly below Skype Tomorrow if I were to rank it. Which isn’t high, isn’t low. It’s just there.

The dialogue in The Play sounds... weird. I don’t know it just sounds off.

I FORGOT THAT THE SQUIP REVERTS BACK TO JAPANESE WHEN IT GETS SHUT DOWN! I LOVE THAT!

I like the addition of Rich having a lisp in Voices in My Head.

OKAY! IF ANYBODY WHO SEES THIS KNOWS ANYTHING ABOUT THIS, HELP ME OUT! I REMEMBER SEEING A BUNCH OF PEOPLE SAYING THAT RICH AND MICHAEL KISSED DURING ONE PERFORMANCE, AND THAT IT’S IMPLIED MICHAEL AND RICH GET TOGETHER IN THE END! IS THAT TRUE?!

Also, I can’t tell if Chloe was kidding about taking ecstasy, or if she actually had no clue what the fuck was going on.

Final Judgement: The Broadway version has its pros and cons as everything does, and liking it is completely fine.

I’m gonna go read pinkberry fanfiction for the remainder of the day.

The next musical is SIX, and I’m very excited to be able to listen to it again.

#long post #brees favorite games #this is just me comparing the two versions #tw panic attack mention #tw death mention #tw capslock #tw cursing #tw drug mention #once again if i missed any triggers #tell me please

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pollylynn · 5 years ago

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Just About, Chapter 7—Just About Glad: Linked Season 1 Caskett Drabbles (Complete)

Title: Just about, Chapter 7—Just About Glad WC: 1700

A/N: Another random number of words, but I think this is done now. This is more or less where, lo those many years ago, I saw this as winding up.

He’s surprised when she says yes to poker night—and without even too much hounding from him. He’d really worked on ratcheting back the hounding, because she’d come entirely of her own volition the last time. And because the last time had ended on a kind of weird note, courtesy of his mother, Mistress of the Unwelcome Weird Note.

He’s surprised again when she actually shows up, promptly and bearing a bottle of wine, though he’d told her not to bring anything. He’s surprised at the easy way she lets him take her coat and greets his mother.

He had, in fact, had the distinct impression that his mother had made her downright skittish by shining a light on the fact that Kate Beckett, Chez Castle, had become a not entirely irregular thing. He’d found himself on the receiving end of some sharper than strictly necessary barbs and a few more exasperated than warranted answers to perfectly reasonable questions, as though she’d been trying to reset the annoyance clock all the way back to Day 1.

But she’s here now, of her own free will. Unless the Captain ordered her here or something. That’s . . . an awkward possibility, and not solely because he’s suddenly paranoid when it comes to interfering parental figures. It’s possible—it’s just possible—that he overdid it with the hard sell when he’d invited the four of them over for a game.

He’d made a point of asking them as group, rather than singling her out. He’d leaned hard into the amenities of a friendly game at his place could offer, and in a desperate, covering-all-the-bases moment, he’d noted that it would be a good research opportunity to see them all with their ties loosened and their sleeves rolled up. It’s possible—it’s just possible—that the Captain might have taken that as a request from a friend of the mayor, not just a request from a friend, if that’s what they are.

That’s what he thinks they are. Him and her. Him and all of them, up to and including the Captain. They’re friends, or at least well on their way to being that. He thinks so, but now he’s totally muffing a round of betting, because he’s too busy studying her for signs that they’re not friends at all—that she’s here under duress—to pay attention to his cards.

They’re lousy, it turns out. They’re just awful, and he ends up having to bluff his way through to the end, all the while wondering if means anything that she’s the only one without a drink at her elbow, if she’s been counting the hands or surreptitiously looking at her watch, trying to find a time when she can reasonably leave.

But for all his divided-attention theater, he pulls it off. He takes Esposito for most of what he has left. They all crow over the good detective’s pouty face, and she crows right along. She’s relaxed and into the evening, he decides. She came because she wanted to come, and she’s stayed because she’s having a good time, and he’s glad about that.

The night proceeds and he’s glad. He feels like they’ve recalibrated, like things had gone a little off the rails after the first time she’d come here—after she’d told him about her mother and he’d spent some quality time under a bare, swinging bulb discovering in grisly crime scene photos that she looks like her mother to a heart-stopping degree. And then he’d lured her here and her presence had thrown into sharp relief the glaring fact that falling into old habits with Meredith was a mistake he no longer wanted to keep making.

And then his mother . . .

Well, the less said about that, the better. She’s here and they’re friends, or they’re at least on their way to being friends, and Oh shit, he seems to have just thrown what turns out to be the last hand of the night.

And that’s not exactly something he does for his friends.

*************************

His mother outs him. He wonders if it’s some kind of bid for assisted suicide. He also wonders where the volcano nearest Manhattan might be and if its resident gods accept definitely non-virgin sacrifices. But mostly he wonders if he is going to survive an elevator ride with a Kate Beckett who is riled up enough to get right up in his personal space, because there are several different ways that might kill him.

He does survive though. He does more than survive. He gets her to accept to yet another invitation to his home. They lock horns in full view of all the string-pullers and power-brokers orbiting around the two of them, and what’s happening with them—between them—has nothing to do with that.

He doesn’t know what’s happening between them—and then she throws the last hand of the night and he super extra doesn’t know what’s happening—but it doesn’t have anything to do with whose friend he is or who she works for. It doesn’t have anything to do with his mother’s meddling or even his own casting about blindly, figuring out what he definitely does not want out of life at this juncture.

It’s strange, whatever it is. It’s sharp edged and awkward. It’s challenging and humbling and damned uncomfortable a whole lot of the time. But it’s also exhilarating and it makes him laugh and want to work harder than he ever has in his life. It’s fun a lot of the time. And it’s between them. It’s just between them.

That’s the conclusion, such as it is, that he comes to during the last of the poker games they play for the time being. It’s not at his place this time. It’s at hers, he supposes, but also at theirs, and that pleases him. She slaps down the jumbo-sized bag of Gummi Bears, and he slaps down the rubber-banded deck on the corner of her desk that they share, and it pleases him

The late-night atmosphere of the bullpen hums along in the background. Phones ring and voices float out from the break room as the two of them battle back and forth and the elevator occasionally dings. It’s not long before things get ridiculous. Anything so pedestrian as Texas Hold ‘Em or Five-Card Draw falls by the wayside. They’re eating their banks and one-upping each other with the ridiculous Dealer’s Choice rules they each call in turn.

“It’s late,” she says at last. It’s at once too soon and far later than he thought it would be. He’s also pretty sure that it has more to do with the fact that they’ve eaten the last of the green Gummi Bears than her actually having any burning desire to break up the evening. “Should probably call it a night.”

“Probably,” he agrees, even though he doesn’t agree at all. He has various, wild, sugar-addled, sleep-deprived points of disagreement, but he rises when she does. He stands by with his hands firmly shoved in his pockets, waiting, as she wrestles her clumsy, tired way into her coat and heaves her bag on to her shoulder. He doesn’t do anything so ridiculous—so very nearly suicidal—as try to hold her coat for her, much as he’d like to. He doesn’t offer her his arm.

He simply waits, happy that she seems to take it as a given that they’ll ride the elevator down together, they’ll head out on to the street together, they’ll spend a few more pleasant moments of a thoroughly pleasant evening—together.

He feels close to her. It’s such a simple statement of fact, and yet he finds himself sincerely, strangely moved by the phrase as the elevator car glides downward and the reality hits him—he feels genuinely close to her and that’s . . . for him, it’s a rare thing.

He studies her. She’s tired to the point of nodding off a little bit in the corner where she’s propped herself. He remembers not knowing what to make of her at first—not knowing what to make of everything he was feeling about her. He still doesn’t know. He has no idea what will become of them, and that seems suddenly wonderful.

He turns to tell her so, to say something ridiculous that will be as much a surprise to him as it will be to her. He turns, but the doors ding open just then. He follows her through the lobby and the revolving door. He faces her for what’s poised to be a perfectly cordial, if somewhat perfunctory goodnight between friends—between people who are on their way to being friends, at least.

That’s fine. It should be completely fine, but he can’t let the moment go. He’s compelled not to let it go.

“You know, I’m glad you turned me down after that first case,” he says quickly enough that her mouth is still opening to say Night, Castle. It’s still opening, then it’s closing with a snap as he rushes on. “I’m glad there was no . . . debriefing.”

Her eyes narrow and he knows—he just knows—she’s going to tell him there was never any possibility of that. He knows that’s what she’s going to say, just as surely as he knows it’s not true. There was a possibility. There is a possibility. There will be a possibility until the moment that it’s more than that, so he goes on, confident now.

“It would’ve—“ he has an ill-timed pang of longing that he has to power through. “It would have been great. But then maybe we wouldn’t have had this.” He gestures between them, tasting Gummi Bears on his tongue. “And this is really great. So I’m glad.”

“Glad,” she echoes. She sounds utterly baffled. “Great. Okay?” She shakes her head as if to clear it and comes up looking utterly baffled. “Night, Castle.”

She turns to go, casting one puzzled look over her shoulder.

“Until tomorrow, Detective,” he calls after her. He stands a minute, watching her recede. He is glad, he tells himself. He’s just about glad. A/N: Just about glad we didn’t have that fling, or so says Declan McManus, International Art Thief

#Castle #Caskett #Castle: Season 1 #Castle: Ghosts #Kate Beckett #Richard Castle #Martha Rodgers #Roy Montgomery #Javier Esposito #Kevin Ryan #Elvis Costello #Fic #Fanfic #Fanfiction #Fan Fic #Fan Fiction #Writing #Feh

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sp4c3-0ddity · 6 years ago

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It’s Beginning to Look a Lot like A Christmas Carol

Chapter Three: No ‘Doctor Who’ Christmas Special Prepared Him for This

Prologue | Chapter One | Chapter Two

Read on ao3

~4800 words

i completely and wholeheartedly blame @hailqiqi...and in the interest of sharing reserve some for @rueitae. but i also thank them too for the editing and talking me out of rewriting this chapter!! but now the damn tune is stuck in my head how did this happen i don’t even celebrate Christmas!!

There’s no way Lance is sleeping tonight, not after visits from two ghosts and one whatever the quiznak Bob is and the promise of another, so he doesn’t even bother. Instead he stumbles downstairs to the living room and boots up the Mercury Gameflux he should really return to Pidge.

(Never mind that she’s having so much fun without it - and him - at a party.)

Well, he might as well take advantage of being the only one home, and a mindless video game he beat more times than he can count is as good a distraction as any. This Christmas already proves to be a bad one, a poor representative of the holiday and nothing like the ones of his childhood while his family goes on vacation. Quiznak, he never did get to introduce Allura to Christmas on Earth…

Lance jerks the controller’s joystick a little harsher than necessary, and his avatar on the screen launches itself off a cliff. He scowls as the music lowers in pitch, his lives ticking down by one.

The blue light emanating from the screen flickers, an electrical hum filling the air. A sigh escapes Lance while the shadows coalesce in the corner of the room, and he pauses the game before the cloaked figure blocks his view of the screen.

“Oh, great,” he grumbles, rolling his eyes. “Let me guess: you’re the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come, and if the last guy was Bob you’ll be…Zarkon?” No, that can’t be right; the figure’s too short and not nearly bulky enough for him. He raises an eyebrow and guesses again, “Haggar?”

“I am most certainly not Haggar!” the figure hisses in a familiar voice that sends a shiver down Lance’s spine, and his worst fears - or fondest hopes? - are confirmed when they push their hood back.

Lance jumps, the controller slipping from his fingers when he yelps, “Allura?”

Allura crosses her arms, her pink cheek markings gleaming the dark. “That is my name.”

Lance stands up slowly, his heart in his throat and his breath trapped in his lungs as he steps towards her. “Really? You’re the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come?” And rather than saying anything else he’s wanted to say to her - he should’ve kept a list… - since she gave her life for the universe, he wonders, “Shouldn’t you stay cloaked?” He gestures towards her hood. “I thought the whole point of the cloak was that the future was always changing so you can’t really know it.”

Allura frowns, looking utterly unimpressed, and observes, “You sound like Bob.”

“So is that a—”

“It’s a bit stuffy under the hood, so I decided against it. Besides”—a hint of a smile crosses her face—”wouldn’t you rather see someone familiar for your last journey through time?”

“Does this mean you’re the last one?” Lance wonders hopefully. Maybe after Allura’s visit comes to an end - the thought of it ending makes his chest tighten - he can finally get some beauty sleep.

(And oh, will he need it if he keeps finding silver hairs.)

But Allura doesn’t reply except to grab his wrist, and Lance blurts, “Wait, the TV—”

His surroundings dissolve, the blue-lit darkness of the living room giving way to a conference room Lance recognizes immediately from the Garrison.

It’s a much smaller party than the one Bob showed him, with the table shoved against the wall and heavily laden with dishes both familiar and foreign and…alien. A wreath decorated with a red bow hangs from the door, and a streamer reading CONGRATULATIONS DEFENDERS underneath a more seasonal MERRY CHRISTMAS hangs from the ceiling.

He almost doesn’t recognize Pidge standing at the front of the room, not with hair long enough to sweep her shoulders or wearing an elegant green dress rather than the Garrison uniform most of the guests don. She raises a glass of what looks like champagne and clinks a fork against it, attracting the attention of everyone in the room.

A smile lights up her face, bright enough Lance wishes he could pretend she directs it at him. “We’ve come so far, Defenders,” she says. “Just a few years ago we were only in the prototype stage, and finally tomorrow our first ship launches with the Garrison’s best pilot in the cockpit.” She flashes a grin and a wink at the unfamiliar man standing beside her and adds, “I’m sorry, Keith; we’ve let him usurp you.”

Laughter fills the room, and another familiar voice says, “He’s welcome to it.”

Lance spins around, his eyes widening when they land on a smiling Keith standing with Hunk and…himself.

An older version of himself, one with a hint of gray in his hair and who looks a touch sullen judging by the glares he keeps shooting at the man beside Pidge, the one she named “the Garrison’s best pilot”. The champagne flute in his - or in future Lance’s - hand is already empty, though no one else’s is, and for one painful heartbeat Lance thinks he understands.

He wishes the pilot launching into space was him.

Everyone toasts the launch, and it’s then that Lance notices that Pidge doesn’t drink from her glass. Instead the pilot beside her takes it and—

—he and Allura stand right behind him in a blink, in time to watch Pidge rest a hand on her stomach and mutter, “I’d kill for an empanada.”

“After this, I’ll take you,” the man promises. His fingers interlace with hers, a silver band glittering.

Lance’s stomach knots with dread. He steps back, unsure if he wants to see this but unable to look away when they share a brief kiss. “Is she—is she pregnant?” he asks Allura.

Allura, oddly silent where Bob had been all too happy to make frequent observations, confesses, “She is. She told him just this morning.”

“Told who?” Lance asks.

But before she can reply, his future self marches his way through laughing scientists both human and alien, heading right for Pidge and her…whatever that guy is to her.

“Lance?” Pidge says, her voice breathy with surprise. “You came?”

The man/pilot looks decidedly displeased rather than shocked. He wraps a protective arm around Pidge’s shoulders, and—

“Hey!” Lance screeches as the scene changes from the warm and crowded conference room to a chilly and well-lit sidewalk. He rounds on Allura and says, “I was watching that!”

Allura sighs, her eyes darting away from him, and says, “I wanted to spare you that.”

“I thought I was supposed to be learning something from this time travel,” Lance says, throwing up his arms in exasperation. “How am I supposed to learn if I don’t see what you want to show me?”

“I’m not sure the specifics of your and Pidge’s fight will do you much good,” Allura tells him.

Lance’s heart sinks. “What fight?”

“They…change,” she admits, smiling weakly. “It’s the nature of trying to predict the future. Sometimes you try to sway her away from her betrothed because you once had an affair—”

“We did what?”

“—and others you demand answers for why she didn’t choose you for the mission.”

“W-what?” Lance’s jaw drops. “But I’m not even a—I’m not a pilot anymore!” He blinks, remembering that Allura is showing him the future, and wonders, “Did that change and she still didn’t choose me?” And why does that feel like a smack to the face, for Pidge to pass him over like that?

“I’m afraid…it hasn’t,” Allura says.

The scenery shifts from a suburban street to the familiar inside of his family’s farmhouse. A Christmas tree stands in the corner, its branches heavy with a bizarre mix of ornaments.

Allura picks one up - Lance immediately recognizes it as an angel that Silvio decorated one year in school, though its paint is more chipped than he remembers - and wonders, “What is the reason for these?”

“Uh…to make the tree look pretty?” Lance supplies with a shrug.

“Yes, but they all look so different.” Allura pokes a classic red bauble. “And why do you all worship a fuzzy tree this time of year?”

Lance chuckles - did he really never explain this part of Christmas to her? - and says, “We don’t worship the tree. It’s just for decoration.”

“What if it starts a fire?” she wonders. “It’s made of fibers, isn’t it? And that’s easily ignited so—”

“Allura,” Lance says, grabbing her attention with a hand on her shoulder, “it’s just a tradition. Sometimes we do things because they’re a tradition. Didn’t you have stuff like that on Altea?”

Allura’s gaze drifts down, her affect so somber his stomach twists with regret, but she nods and concedes, “Yes, and I suppose you would find them just as alien as I find yours.”

“Right,” Lance agrees. He rubs the back of his neck as they drift into an awkward silence - oh, he hasn’t missed those with her - but the clinking of metal utensils on glass plates distracts him.

Lance leads the way into the noisy dining room. The first thing he notices with a squeeze in his chest is that his Meemaw is nowhere in sight. The next thing, judging by the number of children Lance doesn’t recognize, is—

“You’re the only one of your brothers and sisters unmarried,” Allura points out. She raises an eyebrow at where future Lance - at least a few years older than the last future Lance - sits between Veronica and his mami.

“When are you going to bring that new girl home to meet us, Lance?” his mami wonders. Her words, directed at his future self, cut through the cacophony of a million other conversations.

“I don’t know,” future Lance says with a dismissive wave of his fork. “I still haven’t figured out if she’s the one, you know?” He avoids her eyes in favor of spearing a chunk of turkey and stuffing it into his mouth.

“I haven’t seen you eat like that in a while,” Allura notes with some amusement.

Lance, utterly unamused, rolls his eyes.

“Don’t tell me you’re still hung up on Allura,” Veronica cuts in with a frown. “You were so excited to introduce her to us, but now you keep putting us off the scent.”

Future Lance sets his fork down as a grimace crosses his face. “Maybe Allura was the one,” he retorts.

The air is too thick and solemn for what should be a pleasant holiday meal with family, but a hush falls over the table.

Veronica’s hand falls onto future Lance’s shoulder. “Lance, even if she was your soul mate, you can’t just…consign yourself to widowhood because someone you dated for two months died. Hell, Shiro and his ex had one of the most solid relationships I’ve ever seen, and even he’s married to someone else now.”

Lance can’t help a sideways glance at the ghost of Allura standing beside him, can’t help the twisting in his gut when she doesn’t meet his eyes.

Future Lance throws up his hands and snaps, “Then I guess not all defenders of the universe have to put up with this!”

“Lance!” his mami chides, but Veronica replies tartly, “What are you talking about? You’re a farmer now, or did you already forget?”

He gasps, his heart heavy with regret and his shock leaving him speechless. Would he really talk to his sister, no matter how snide, like that on Christmas Eve?

But the scene changes before he sees what happens next.

Lance instantly recognizes Sam and Colleen Holt’s living room, minus one bull terrier and plus shredded gift wrap littering the floor. Krolia, of all people, sits cross-legged on the floor with a boy Lance has never seen in his life - though, well, he probably hasn’t been born yet - in her lap. She grins at the boy - he’s three years old at most, Lance guesses - before sticking a bright green gift bow on his reddish brown hair.

The boy giggles the way only a small child can when Krolia blows a raspberry against his cheek.

Lance stares with wide eyes; he never thought Krolia the maternal sort…and why is she with the Holts anyway?

Allura redirects his attention with a touch to his shoulder. He glances at her, eyebrow raised, and she points at the living room doorway, half-hidden by a Christmas tree. Pidge stands there, agitatedly sliding a ring up and down her finger, with Keith, who appraises her with a furrow in his brow.

“I swear your mother will end up spoiling him worse than mine,” Pidge complains. Her heavy frown softens when her gaze falls on the boy in Krolia’s lap, and it hits Lance who he is.

“She has a kid?” he screeches, rounding on Allura. Nausea turns his stomach - oh, quiznak, if he throws up, will his vomit be as immaterial as his body? - and questions buzz through his mind so rapidly he can’t think which to ask first.

Lance looks between the boy and Pidge, searching for all the physical similarities and differences. Hair like hers in color and texture, a light dusting of freckles on his nose despite the season, maybe a little small for his age, but his eyes are gray rather than bronze like hers.

“He’s a…he’s a cute kid,” he observes, but with a tightening in his chest Lance wishes for him to be his too.

“I suppose,” Allura concedes, “but I never really understood the appeal of children at that age. They make such messes and smell worse than a Kaltenecker.”

“Hey!” Lance exclaims, but she only rolls her eyes before jerking her head back towards the scene.

“…sorry that happened, Pidge,” Keith says. He pats her shoulder in an awkward approximation of comfort. “Anything Krolia and I can do for you?”

Pidge shakes her head before finally slipping her ring - her wedding ring? - off and tucking it into her jeans pocket. “It’ll be—it’ll be fine,” she says. “I’m an upstanding Earth citizen and a former Paladin of Voltron! There’s no way the judge will let my husband have full custody…is there?”

She sounds so uncertain - what’s happening? - that Lance’s heart aches for her. He steps towards them, longing to be the one to comfort her rather than have her suffer Keith’s feeble attempts at sympathy - obviously his strengths lie elsewhere - when a glint at her ears catches his eye.

“The earrings…” The vines glitter and scatter light from the nearby Christmas tree, almost mocking him. “Allura, have Pidge and I - or future me, I guess - talked lately?”

“I…no, you haven’t,” Allura admits with an apologetic smile. “You haven’t spoken since your fight at that first scene I showed you.”

“But she’s wearing earrings I bought her,” Lance says, frowning.

“Those were from you?” Allura’s eyes widen slightly in surprise before she laughs. “Oh, did I ever tell you, Lance?”

“Tell me…what?”

Their surroundings melt away, Keith comforting Pidge and Krolia playing with her son dispersing faster than smoke, until they stand in front of the well-lit church in Varadero. Churchgoers pass under the gate after midnight mass while a few peel away to walk to the nearby cemetery.

Allura leads him after those while she confesses, “Before you asked me on that date, I thought you had feelings for Pidge.”

Lance snaps around to look at her. “I—what?” His conversation with the ghost of Keith’s dad rings in his head and he wonders, “Was it…that obvious?”

Allura shrugs before shooting him a rare teasing grin. “You forget I had four spies that reported only to me.”

He blinks at her, confused, until a surprised chuckle bursts out of him. He takes her hand and reassures her, “I promise all I saw when we were together was you, Allura.”

Her grin falters as she says, “I believe you, Lance, but you and I…sometimes I wonder if we both would’ve been happier had I told you no.” She tugs her hand from his grasp, and before he can stammer a startled reply or an assertion that she’s wrong - but is she? - she leads him into the gloomy cemetery.

As they walk further in, passing through gravestones as if they’re not there, he wonders with a gut-wrenching fear if he’s about to see his mami’s grave.

(For what purpose? So that he can learn she died disappointed in her youngest son?)

But the gravestone they halt before is unmistakably his.

Lance’s breath catches in his throat as he reads the simple stone carving. Nothing inscribed on it so much as indicates he was once a Paladin of Voltron, a hero of the universe, and there’s little more than an inscription declaring him a “beloved son, brother, and uncle”.

It tells so little of who Lance is - who Lance was - that a scowl twists his lips. Who was this Lance to leave so little behind when he died?

“Lance,” Allura says, jerking him from his bitter musings, “do all humans live such short lives?”

He can’t breathe while he takes in the numbers and does the math. “N-no,” he chokes out. A lump lodges in his throat - will he really end up mourning his own death? - as his eyes narrow at the gravestone. “What did I even spend that life doing?”

“Farming juniberries,” Allura tells him. “You rarely saw the other Paladins - you only met Hunk’s children once - and you…well, you even stopped visiting Altea and never returned to space.”

Lance falls to his knees, but he’s somehow still dry-eyed, staring unseeingly at the gravestone. “Why? You—you love it there. You died to bring it back, so why would I never go back?”

Allura kneels beside him and rests a hand on his shoulder. “I don’t know for sure, but I can guess…”

“Then do it.”

“I suspect it became too painful for you to see our friends moving ahead with their lives while you…idled.” Her fingers tighten on his shoulder. “You lost your purpose when the Lions left, so now you must—”

An indistinct voice cuts her off as three people bundled in jackets and scarves - a chilly evening, he guesses, though he’s practically a ghost now and can’t feel it - approach. A tall, middle-aged woman with a beanie pulled past her ears leads the other two towards them.

Rachel always was sensitive to the cold.

Lance’s heart skips a beat when he recognizes the other two with her as Hunk and Pidge, and—wow, they both aged well, Hunk with his goatee not even a little spotted with gray and Pidge with a more mature beauty in the way she holds herself and the hint of wrinkles around her eyes.

(And who’s the lucky quiznaker that gets to grow old with her? Definitely not him.)

"...missed the funeral," Hunk is saying to Rachel as they draw closer. "We were both in space."

Lance's gut twists oddly at Hunk's words, both at the implication that they weren't at his funeral and that they went into space without him.

(Of course they did if Allura's assertion that he never returns is right.)

"I understand," Rachel says. The three of them pause in front of the grave. "You both have busy lives, so I think he would too."

"I don't—I don't know," Pidge says with a waver in her voice. She sniffs and huddles closer to Hunk, for warmth or comfort or both, and he wraps an arm around her. "He wasn't so forgiving of it last time I saw him."

She speaks without bitterness, as if she only states an objective fact.

"Either way," Rachel says a little awkwardly, "we are grateful that you visited since I'm sure you'd rather be with your own families for Christmas."

"Lance was our family too," Hunk tells her, smiling. "I can't forget him even if it's been a while since we met."

Pidge drifts away from him, passing through Lance until she stands right before his gravestone. She traces the inscription of his name with a fingertip and quietly muses, "He was a lot more than what this says..."

Rachel pinches her eyes shut and nods. "H-he was," she says, "and we'll remember him for it."

"Can I—can I have a minute alone?" Pidge asks.

Rachel's eyes widen with surprise, but she says, "Oh, sure." She paces away, and Hunk follows after Pidge reassures him she's fine.

Lance holds his breath, watching Pidge examining every centimeter of his gravestone. He doesn't dare glance at Allura, not when he wants to take in every second of this no matter how tightly an invisible hand squeezes his heart.

Pidge reaches into her jacket and tugs out a slim plastic case to set on his grave. "I think I waited too long to play this with you," she says in a surprisingly steady voice.

Behind him, Allura gasps, and when he finally turns to her questioningly, she says, "I recognize that game."

"What?" Lance looks over Pidge's shoulder. "Killbot Phantasm 26?"

"Yes...Pidge used it to barter for the dress I wore to my date with you," Allura explains. "I'm glad she eventually tracked down another copy."

Pidge...really did that? Lance returns his attention to her, hanging on every word she says to him - or to the future and very much dead version of him:

"How you died...it sucks, Lance," Pidge says. She sniffs, wiping at her nose with her sleeve, and continues, "You would've rather died in a-a heroic blaze of glory and not in something so normal and random like a hit-and-run."

"Oh, I..." But Lance doesn't know what to say; does he really die in such a forgettable way?

Pidge's hand covers her mouth, muffling a sob. "I wish I—quiznak, why were we both so stubborn? Who f—who cares whose fault it was? I shouldn't have—after everything we—I'm sorry I waited till it was too late, Lance." She crumples, finally bursting into gut-wrenching tears.

Lance's own eyes burn as he kneels beside her. He tries and fails to wrap an arm around her shoulders before stammering, "P-Pidge, you - all of you - mean everything to me."

But of course she doesn't hear him.

The cemetery melts away to an even cooler and more dismal night. A simple stone obelisk rises before him, a plague at its front. In the distance - and with a tug in his abdomen - stands the Galaxy Garrison’s main hangar, its exterior strung with red and green blinking Christmas lights.

A small floodlight washes the obelisk in a white glow that reflects off the metal plaque. Lance squints at the engraving and reads:

Dedicated to the heroes of Earth and beyond that defended us in our hour of need.

His jaw drops as he scans the names inscribed below, recognizing every single one as someone he befriended, fought beside, and loved, from Shiro to Keith and the Blade of Marmora to Pidge and her family and Hunk and Allura and Coran and—

“M-my name,” he says numbly. “It’s not…it’s not here.”

Lance holds his breath as he reads the names over again, his gaze catching on Veronica’s, but with his heart sinking, he knows he won’t find it.

And the disappointment is so crushing that tears finally escape his eyes. “Why am I not here, Allura?” he wonders. Feeling oddly detached from his actions, his fingertip traces his - or his sister’s - last name. “I-it’s stupid, isn’t it? Keith always almost…scolded me for wanting attention, but they forgot me…”

“If it’s any consolation,” Allura offers from just behind him, “this memorial wasn’t commemorated until most humans that fought to free Earth of the Galra had died. Someone who fought with you would never have forgotten.”

Somehow that hurts even more, as if his teammates, his friends, his family never spoke of his role - if he had one at all. Bob’s parting words return to him in sharp relief, but he can’t help feeling their irony.

Is he enough if no one bothers to remember him?

(Is it his fault if he’s so easily forgotten?)

“It’s—it’s not,” Lance admits, “but thanks for trying.”

He can’t tear his eyes away from the list. Every single person with their name engraved on the plaque deserves their place, but they forgot him.

He doesn't notice Allura touching his shoulder, doesn't notice the shift from the memorial to the farmhouse's living room, still illuminated by the screen stuck on a video game pause screen, doesn't notice much of anything until his dead girlfriend and personal version of the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come wraps her arms around him and lets him bury his face in her shoulder.

"Well, this is awfully familiar," Allura says. "Are you...mourning your own death or Earth’s short memory?"

Lance sniffs and holds her a little tighter. "N-no, I'm—am I really that forgettable, Allura?" He pulls away to look her in the eye.

When she frowns and reaches up to cup his cheek, his skin tingling right where her thumb brushes the mark she left on him, he sees both everything he's lost and, for the first time, everything he still has to lose. "You're not," she reassures him, "but one day, you might be if you're not careful."

Lance lets go of her and turns to grab a tissue from the box on the end table only to realize she's transported them to his bedroom. Instead his gaze catches on the broken picture frame.

He picks it up, careful to avoid the sharp edges of broken glass, and guesses, "This intervention was your idea, wasn't it?"

"It was," she admits.

"Why?" he wonders, although he thinks he already knows the answer.

Allura smiles, though it holds an edge of sadness. "If there's anything I could change about my life after I met you and the other Paladins, it's that I shouldn't have let the past rule my future so much. And you..." She gently takes the frame from him and stands it up on his desk. "I can see you're on the verge of making the same mistake."

"Am I?" Lance still can't help the flicker of doubt despite everything he saw tonight. "I don't know, Allura...I want to uphold your legacy.”

“What about my legacy makes you think you should cultivate juniberries?” Allura demands, tone sharp enough that he flinches. She picks up the small vase with a single flower on his desk and pinches a pink petal between her fingertips. “Juniberries grew wild on Altea. They were prized precisely for how nearly impossible they were to cultivate.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Lance wonders.

“Because you’re on the brink of losing your way, Lance.” The corner of her mouth quirks up in a slight smile. "Find a purpose," she advises him. "It seems you work best when you have one."

"It feels like I lost mine when you died," he admits. “You never even told me what’s special about the Blue Lion.”

Allura sets the vase down. “I thought you would’ve figured that out for yourself, intuitive and supportive and nurturing as you are.” She winks, and where once the gesture would’ve warmed his face, now it fills him with a cool understanding.

Lance rolls his eyes and grumbles, “Could’ve fooled me.” Then he sighs, running his fingers through his hair, and confesses, "I missed you so much..."

"And that's all right," Allura says. She takes his hand and adds, "But you'll miss so much more if you're not paying attention to what and who else you love." She leans up and kisses his cheek, that odd, familiar affection he hasn't felt from her in years so startling his face warms, but before he can so much as respond she's gone.

Lance's heart pounds as he reacquaints himself with her absence. He dries his snotty nose with a tissue and sits on the edge of his bed, mind reeling with all this new - and old - information.

Quiznak, how does Pidge handle so much data at once without getting overwhelmed?

He can ask her that himself...can't he?

Lance isn't sure what impulse pushes him towards his closet. He rummages around, searching for the one cardboard box he tucked away just because he thought he could hide from the reminders like a coward.

The grin that pushes at his lips when he opens the lid and beholds his belongings from his Paladin days surprises him.

He finds the Blue Lion slippers first, shoving his feet into them - they are a little chilly now that he has enough of a body again to feel the cold - before digging through the rest of the box's contents. His bayard is there, of course, as is the glove that came with the Mercury Gameflux, myriad knickknacks and souvenirs and gifts from different planets he visited, and—

Lance's fingers brush against a small, slim box. He grabs it and opens it before setting it aside and standing.

It's time to change his plans for the holiday.

#plance #pidgance #lidge #flirtyrobot #allura #lance's family #so i hope this isn't a disappointment after hail's and rue's amazing parts #but anyway #voltron #reem writes fic

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walticos-blog · 5 years ago

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ENDURING BONE SURGERIES

In the previous 2 years, I have had four bone and reconstructive medical procedures. In earlier years I have had different sorts of medical procedures, yet from my very own involvement, I couldn't want anything more than to impart my encounters to others in would like to help those experiencing similar encounters to feel more calm and maybe help the individuals who have relatives encountering medical procedures to comprehend what their friends and family are experiencing. The minutes up to medical procedure are troubling and passionate. There are ways that I will talk about on the most proficient method to be consoled and resist the urge to panic. Just as before medical procedure, I will talk about the day of medical procedure, directly after medical procedure, and recuperation at home. How about we start with being disclosed to you need medical procedure and you being prepared for it. Most Doctors are all the more ready to assist you with your issues of broken bones or torment on the off chance that you yourself concede you need their assistance and need it. When I was determined to have burst circles in my neck, I sincerely did not need medical procedure and needed to locate some other route conceivable to fix it. I went to chiropractors, specialists, home cure advisors and to my benefit, I held up excessively long until it was SO terrible that I stated, "I'm finished." I was at last prepared. Our feelings about medical procedure at some point bamboozle us and we are not willing to concede our issue is terrible enough until the way substantially more harm is finished. Once in a while, indeed, it pays to be difficult and endure it, however many occasions over, it doesn't. For my situation, my neck was much more awful ten years sometime later than when I began. The possibility of medical procedure and being "put out" under anaesthesia scared me, yet significantly more, the "what if's" that went with it. Imagine a scenario where I kicked the bucket, was I prepared. Imagine a scenario in which I was deadened, what might befall me and my family. Consider the possibility that, imagine a scenario where, imagine a scenario in which. I was stressing myself wiped out! I am a religious being, however the feelings crept in. I realized I needed to make a stride back and trust God to support me. I began thinking about the section in The Bible in Philippians 4:6-7 that guides us to be on edge for little more than in everything by petition and supplication with thanksgiving let your solicitations be made known to God. Also, the tranquillity of God, which outperforms all understanding, will monitor your hearts and your brains in Christ Jesus. Matthew 6:34 peruses to not be on edge about tomorrow for tomorrow will be restless for itself. Adequate for the day is its very own inconvenience. What's more, different stanzas about stressing began to fill my mind. I realized I needed to get once more into point of view that God has this. Obviously, regardless I stressed a few. In my stressing, I made something happen. I needed to get readied. Despite the fact that I hurt abundantly and paid for all that I did that night or following day, things needed to get wrapped up. I realized that they let me know after medical procedure that I would not have been ready to do ANYTHING for some time and that included not getting into a vehicle for a month. I needed to get my home fit as a fiddle and game on! My significant other would have been ready to take off for seven days after medical procedure, yet he needed to return to work so I focused on supper arranging and placing meals in the cooler for later dates. A few things next to the home and sustenance may incorporate things like the bed and where you will rest. For neck and shoulder medical procedure, I prescribe dozing raised however much as could be expected. You will be required to do as such for certain medical procedures. In the event that you don't have a lift bed, purchase a wedge pad or two. You will be restricted on normal family unit tasks. To twist and lift things up off the floor, nah, don't anticipate it. On the off chance that you can locate a shabby enough hand gripper that spans to the floor and you can crush from your hand to open and close on the article, that would be a truly smart thought. Grabbing a gallon of milk or different objects of weight will be an issue also. Have a go at solidifying drinks in void water bottles that you will almost certainly lift fittingly. Bringing cushions and a spread for the ride home might be something to remember. This will help lighten the knocks or bends in the streets. Keeping your mind set on petition and planning will enable the stress to vanish. Make certain to adhere to the majority of the medical procedure directions steadfastly so you are set up for that day. So my recommendation to anybody sincerely stressed over your up and coming medical procedure, offer it to God and simply relax. Set up your home anyway you have to. Involve your mind with what will help you after medical procedure. The day of the medical procedure, I have gained from my neck, lower back, left shoulder, and right knee medical procedure that it is a hurricane. Obviously, you will sign a wide range of authorizations and structures and sign in to the emergency clinic. This is ordinary and can be extensive, yet it must be finished. Tolerance on your part may wear ragged, yet you got this. You will have the chance to talk with your Doctor and the anaesthesiologist before medical procedure. On the off chance that you have ANY worries by any means, DO NOT dither to ask them. Recall that, they are being paid by you to complete an administration for you. Try not to be threatened by the way that their activity may appear to be increasingly significant. You are similarly as significant and your needs and concerns must be met. I have seen numerous discourteous patients who have no consideration of worry for their guardians and make sure to be decent and conscious when posing inquiries or concerns. You will be jabbed for blood and pic lines and what knots, however be readied that it might sting only a bit, yet soon it is finished and once the IV's are in and the best possible medications begin siphoning, you should will be appropriately observed. The extraordinary somebody with you may not be permitted to be with you during these blood forms, however they are typically permitted with you after and up until they take you back for medical procedure. I had the longing for petition and my better half and family with me implored. It is a solace for myself and might be for you also. After medical procedure, they will have you in a recoup room where they will screen your circulatory strain and whatever other issues that may come up. They will watch out for your advancement leaving your anaesthesia. Typically, you are fit as a fiddle and a great deal loopy. Right now, the Doctor for the most part goes to your relative or whoever acquired you for medical procedure and give a record regarding how things went. They will know in front of you what went down and needed to occur. When they see fit that you are prepared, they will as a rule bring you once more into a similar room you were in when they put the IV's in. Here, you will almost certainly be with your friends and family once more. In the event that your family is in any way similar to mine, they will attempt to have a touch of fun with the thought you are "loopy" and ask you weird things or reveal to you peculiarities. Simply grin and humour them! Lastly, on the off chance that you don't need to remain in the medical clinic, they will send you home. For my neck medical procedure, I had to remain medium-term in the emergency clinic, however for the others, they were hard and fast patient. The one thing I stress the most is BE SURE TO FOLLOW YOUR AFTER-SURGERY INSTRUCTIONS!! Peruse them yourself and have the individual/s read them also. Make sure to focus if there is by all accounts anything incorrectly by any stretch of the imagination! Typically your gut will tell you and don't disregard them. For instance, and this isn't to alarm you, yet I know somebody quite recently who had medical procedure and a couple of days after he was home, he was topping off with his own dung since his colon was unintentionally cut off. The ER sent him home after only an IV of anti-infection agents. A few things do occur, simply make certain to know your body and hear it out. Do precisely what they let you know and on the off chance that you are sent home with the proper medications and guidelines for agony and disease, make certain to take them all the time until you feel yourself that you are prepared to quit taking them. On the off chance that you let the agony get excessively out of sight hand, it tends to be a major issue. With every medical procedure I had, every wa altogether different with the effects of nerves and different issues. Make sure to contact your Doctor on the off chance that they are not helping you or in the event that you are having issues with anything!! Remain over everything! It is alright to request help. Try not to be obstinate on the grounds that it can cause yourself superfluous torment and set you back. On the off chance that you need assistance doing some straightforward errands, it would be ideal if you approach a family or church part and even maybe a nearby neighbours who can get to you rapidly. More than likely, they are looking to help at any rate and couldn't imagine anything better than to help. Keep an ice pack close by on the grounds that that will be a go to after medical procedure. Have somebody get it for you on the off chance that you need it. Having a telephone close by is additionally an absolute necessity. It is great to get out and answer a call as opposed to whipping yourself attempting to answer telephone. Try not to OVERDO IT! You may feel like you are feeling so great one day that you figure, "I can do one or the other today," yet simply be moderate and gradually or you will pay for it. I had a scratch pad close me and composed a great deal of notes, particularly for discounting who visited or brought me blessings or sustenance. I was SO grateful for those people. I supplicate this was useful in setting you up for medical procedure. From the feelings and stressing to the after effects of medical procedure, there is a ton to consider. Attempt to stay up with the latest on things and let others help you in this procedure. Simply make sure to unwind and implore. Wishing you well and recuperating!

#Blogger

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bisquiteentrisket · 8 years ago

Text

My trip journal

I decided to take a day- a day just for myself and all my thoughts, which I would proceed to write down. I wanted to go about my day in the most normal way I could, but also while on LSD. I did this over spring break on a friday, when I knew I had absolutely nothing to do the following two days. I tried to start out my day as normal as I could, I did some laundry and cleaned my room up to the point I took the LSD. I made sure to eat a full meal beforehand, which is something I usually forget to do when I trip. This was my 6th time tripping, I took a dose that was somewhere between 150-170 ug. This is the first time I tripped alone. Everytime I had a thought that felt semi-significant I took my phone out of my pocket and wrote it down, along with a timestamp to so I would know how long it had been since I took the LSD. Everything in brackets [ ] is something I added the day after in an attempt to clarify the thought I was trying to convey.

4:23 Well, It’s in my mouth, there’s no going back now. I anticipate that I will have a pretty good day, I wrote down a bunch of things to do if I get bored, but I can always completely disregard that and do whatever I want. Zach [one of my roommates] is in the room today, I didn��t expect him to be here since it’s spring break, but I don’t think him being around will cause any negative effects for me. He’s cool. I might even ask him to smoke weed with me later. I didn’t finish cleaning my room before I ate the tab, so I’m going to continue doing that while I turn on.

5:07 I definitely am feeling something, i’m sort of nauseous, I feel a loss of balance as well. I spent most of that time hanging up pictures in the living room, and now it looks a lot more inviting than it did before. I just now decided to move into my bedroom to lay on my bed until this nauseous feeling ends. I feel like this might be the first time I’ve tripped in a while without throwing up. [probably because I actually ate a full meal prior]

5:27 The more I just lay here, the less it feels like I took anything. I haven’t felt anything new happen in a while, but there’s definitely something off.

5:55 The Van Gogh is finally moving. [I have a gigantic poster of Van Gogh’s starry night in my room, It always the first thing I notice when the visuals kick in]

6:25 People will come and go my entire life, I’m the only one who will always be there no matter what. I need to meet myself. Also I’m super smiley right now, which is typical of one of my trips if I can recall. I’m packing up some stuff [my hammock, a pair of pants to put on over my shorts, and a sweater just in case it gets cold while I’m gone] in a quest to leave my room and go to the park. [the day before I had driven by a very inviting and green spot in overton park, a neighbourhood park within walking distance of the school]

6:35 I just now realized it’s saint patrick’s day, I’m lucky I’m already wearing a fuck ton of green. [both my shirt and backpack were a very bright green]

6:40 (still walking to the park) All my thoughts seem to be the same, but I can think a little clearer than normal. I like the idea of today, or of an acid day in general. Whether you’ve taken drugs or not, It’s a nice feeling to be able have a day to just throw away and not worry about anything at all, even if it’s just for a day.

6:48 I’m walking by a baseball game on the far side of campus. I don’t feel like I’m missing out on much, but I feel like everyone watching the game is.

6:57 Whenever I have a house, my yard and all the plants are going to get overgrown real quick. I’m not going to want to cut down anything green that grows around me.

[I entered the park at some point right here]

7:07 Every opinion I’ll ever have is just a reflection of myself.

7:10 I managed to find a spot where I have previously hanged out. Last time the family in the house across the street kept staring at me, probably wondering why I was just hanging in a hammock. I also wondered quite a few things about them, so me and them are pretty even.

7:21 I’m too stubborn to pick two trees, I always have this issue when I bring my hammock somewhere.

7:27 You can never be somewhere you’re looking at.

7:38 There exists no perfect spot to hang your hammock, no two trees the perfect distance apart that are also in a cool secluded area. But having two tree to hang your hammock on is a gift enough.

7:40 Everything- every thought and every physical object is both perfect and imperfect in its own way.

[I settled on a spot to hang up my hammock]

7:47 I’m laying here looking up into the tree that suspends me. I’m watching all the squirrels call it a night and scurry into their homes. I’m listening to the bugs loudly calling out in an attempt to find a mate. I’m sure a good amount of them will get lucky tonight. I’m willing to consider all of the earth’s creatures to be anything they’re willing to consider me to be. Everything living has equal purpose and equal importance.

When I hang my hammock it just puts the brakes on my life. Everything in my life is still and in one place for the time being. It’s a real commitment to stop walking around and pick a spot to stop at when there’s so many other places to be at any time. The only thing even close to being as loud as the bugs is all the cars driving by. If only the people driving those cars knew how relaxing my current state is. Their lives would be so drastically different if they just stopped for a second right now and pondered where they’re going and why they’re in such a hurry. Today I feel alive again. It feels nice knowing I can just hang out here as long as I need to. I don’t have anywhere to be anytime soon. No classes to be at tomorrow, no assignments to work on tonight.

The only place I’m ever mentally going to be is right here inside my head. I’m not too sure who’s going to read this report, hopefully it’ll be me tomorrow, hopefully I’ll learn a thing or two about myself from reading it. Maybe the stuff I’m saying actually has some meaning behind it. Or maybe, possibly, I’m the single most boring life form on this planet. My existence brings no good to anyone nor does it take it away. Everything in the universe is in equilibrium and it always will be. Hopefully my future partner will know this as well as I do right now.

These drugs we all take are meant to enhance reality, not create it. People take drugs as an escape from reality, and I don’t think that kind of mindset will get us anywhere as a species.

I’m here. I’m right where I always have been in my mind. I’ve gone through everything with myself. I’ve seen it all. Literally. With every single thing I know, every single event I’ve been through thus far, I’ve always been right there with my subconscious narrating it all out.

There were some good times and some bad.

Madison [my old girlfriend from high school, I knew her for 7 years before we started dating, we dated for almost a year and then fell apart right before we moved off to college] certainly was a trip wasn’t she? So close to being the perfect girl, but yet so far. She holds the most emotional memories in my mind out of all the girls I’ve dated. Mackenzie [the girl I dated my first year of college- most of it as far as I’m concerned] was a good time. The time I spent with her was the first instance of me really opening my eyes and being able to see my life from a 3rd person perspective clearly. The truths of reality hit me when I was dating her Audrey [The girl I dated the first half of this year, my second year of college.] was some fun, but her being younger than me kind of bothered me. Or maybe it was just her overall lack of life experience. I felt like we never really clicked, we were never really on the same wavelength in our minds. I felt like I was having to explain so many things to her all the time, and I just ended up no longer physically attracted to her, which was followed by me running out of romantic feelings towards her. I suppose that could’ve happened with anyone I could’ve dated. While I feel like taller girls are better looking, I generally felt too small when trying to handle her [Audrey was 3 inches taller than me]. I like the feeling being able to easily pick up a girl and hold her entire body in mine. Madison was the perfect height for having stand up sex with, and even though I now have her exact height in my realm of knowledge, [I literally asked her the day before, just so I’d know what that height is.] I know that I’m probably not going to date another girl that’s exactly her height ever again. I do know her though, and if she ever gets cool again, I’m for sure that I’ll be the first person she hears from. But that day won’t come, and that’s okay. She’s moved on to what she perceives to be her better reality, and if she chooses to not wake up, that’s not my problem. Even still, I’d rather she were here right now for me to say all of this to. My friend tyler is going to pick me up from this park soon, he’ll be my roommate next year, we’re headed over to the apartment I’ll be living in in a couple of months. [I told him I was tripping on LSD- He knew nothing about the substance and was worried that I wasn’t okay. He was very surprised with how normal I was acting. I enjoyed getting to educate him on how crazy the ideas about LSD everyone gets told are. Everything they tell you in school is wrong; unless you’re talking to a person who’s experienced it, you’ll never get a real explanation of what the experience is like] I didn’t anticipate him being in town today, but I’m glad he is. I think I’m down for going and smoking some weed right now [Me smoking weed during the comedown of a trip is a very normal action for me, I’ve never had a bad experience while doing this, even though I realize from an outsider’s point of view this seems like a very bad idea.] Tyler will pick me up, and for a small amount of time I’m going to feel hurried again as I run back up to my room and grab whatever weed supplies I’ll need. But as soon as we’re back in our future home I’m going to return to this relaxed state and I’ll try to bring him and Hayden [his current roommate] with me as best I can.

8:17 I’m still laying here, watching the night roll in. I can see more and more fractals in this tree the darker it gets. The sky is still somehow blue, and the clouds are a vague red, but everything is getting blacker as the night creeps in.

I feel outside of myself. Today is a vacation day from my standard being.

[The following timestamps don’t at all do a good job of explaining what happened during the next section of time, so here’s some further explanation of what was going through my mind leading up to 10:54. At this point Tyler picked me up, we drove back to my dorm where I grabbed everything I thought I’d need for the rest of the night including weed supplies and sandwich supplies (I feel bad eating other people’s food, and I hadn’t really eaten anything since before I took the tab). When we arrived back at the apartment It was me, Tyler and Hayden chilling on the couches in the living room smoking weed from hayden’s new bong, and listening to some calm music. Since neither of them really knew anything about LSD, I did my best to answer any questions they had, and explain what I was feeling at any given point; I let them read the trip report I had been writing up to this point, I think they got the idea pretty well. Tyler smoked the first bowl and got higher than I’ve ever seen him, even though I was the one doing more in depth drugs, I felt like he had less of an idea of what was going on compared to me. As soon as I started smoking my weed from this gigantic bong I started tripping really really hard. I smoked a total of one bowl, and went through a series of psychedelic visuals and thoughts that words can’t really explain. I saw geometric patterns on everything I looked at. I saw the colors of objects around me start to come apart, like I could see all the colors that were making up everything. At some point we started talking about the color green, and I could clearly see the vague green that is always in my field of vision, I could see green within everything I looked at. This was definitely the peak of how high I’ve ever been, I wasn’t even on this planet anymore as far as I could tell. I felt very exposed in my own mind, I felt fragile. If someone would have put the right bad thought into my mind, I don’t know If i could’ve recovered. This was the first time I have ever had fear of a bad trip. Fragile is the best word I can use to describe my mind during this time.]

9:06 Tyler is high out of his mind. Smoking this weed was a good idea.

9:22 Words, I can’t right now I’m seeing a lot of patterns on everything. There’s

[Around here we stopped listening to music and decided to watch the show planet earth, I think that’s the only TV show that I can never deny is good in every way. It does a good job of being exactly what it set out to be- a show that just captures nature, untouched and unaware that it’s being filmed by extremely high quality cameras]

10:54 I kind of think I’ve come to enough to start typing again. I can somewhat hear my thoughts and gather them enough to put them into words. But the visuals are just too much right now, I can hardly look at this phone and type this, It’s too bright and vibrant to stare at for very long. I still need a minute to take this all in before I can keep writing.

10:57 I’ve concluded that every time I trip I end up watching planet earth and smoking weed and thinking the exact same thoughts about the show.

[Hayden told me I could sleep on the couch if I wanted to]

11:03 The idea that I can sleep here on the couch is very reassuring to me. I really don’t know how much longer this is going to last, I did picture going back to my own room tonight but I don’t know when that time could be.

11:11 They need to make a documentary about the guys making this documentary [This is the funniest idea I came up with all day, I still believe that that documentary would be equally as interesting as the one I was already watching. Also I typed that at 11:11, does that make it a wish?]

11:14 This bathroom is too nice for the rest of the apartment. [The bathroom was being remodeled during spring break, and now it reminds me of a bathroom from a cookie cutter house in the suburbs, even though it’s in a pretty old run down apartment.]

11:15 Tyler for some reason has a bundle of cigarettes on his bookshelf [I asked him for a full explanation of this- apparently he likes to smoke cigarettes when he’s really drunk, and he bought a pack from a machine in the bar he was in. I had no idea that those machines still existed and were filled, let alone that they still worked. He had to get change from the bar tender in order to pay for them. He smoked some and then bundled up 6 of them in a rubber band for no particular reason. I told him next time he gets really drunk and feels like smoking he should try and smoke them all at once as a party trick.]

11:31 Me and Hayden left the house and are very confused trying to pick up Katie[ [his girlfriend] from the sand volleyball courts on campus. [We sat there for awhile. He was paranoid of getting pulled over (he was very high) I tried my best to calm him down, telling him how cops on a college campus see it all every day, and they don’t really care that much anymore. We talked for a second about how strenuous it is when you’re waiting outside for your girlfriend. “What is always taking them so long???” I believe that’s a feeling that any guy who’s ever had to wait on their girlfriend can relate to.]

[We finally picked up Katie and went back to the apartment, we sat there talking as a group for awhile about anything and everything up to the point I left around 1:40. I explained the LSD experience to her, she was the most worried about me when she knew what I was on. She read my trip report and was a lot less freaked out than she had been.]

12:07 I think I’m not tripping anymore, I’m just really high at this point. [I now realize I was very wrong]

1:45 I’m walking back to my room. Everything is quiet outside. I literally don’t see a single other person around me- I’m guessing it’s because It’s spring break and everyone’s gone. But I do see a bunch of little tiny flowers that must’ve just bloomed in the grass next to me. I like these flowers more than I like most people. I’m just kind of standing on a sidewalk and I’m pretty paranoid that someone will show up and think that what I’m doing is weird. But isn’t it weird that I personally think that what they’re doing is weird as well? Was that even a question? I need to stop standing here. It’s cold and I want to take a shower.

1:52 I’ve wanted to take this shower for a few hours now, and I’m finally gonna do it.

2:33 I turned on the cool lights before I took the shower [dark purple and orange christmas lights that border the ceiling in my room], and now I know why I did that. And man is “shower thoughts” the only way I can explain the last 40 minutes of my life. So many shower thoughts, both relating to the shower itself and the kind of thoughts you think of when one mentions the phrase “shower thoughts” I’m going to put some clothes and music on before I keep writing.

[The rest of this is me sitting at my computer typing]

2:40 For some reason I was getting ready to get in bed, which I guess is usually my overall goal of the night after I take a shower, but I want to write down some more of my thoughts first.

2:41 Shower thoughts to take away: I think that Mackenzie is probably the closest person i’ve come across thus far that is even remotely close to being where I am in my head. We are pretty darn close to being on the same wavelength as far as I can tell, I don’t know how she feels about this, she could think the complete opposite. We’ve been through a lot of similar experiences at different times, and together as well. I can’t say that about any other person I know My time with Madison was the time when I felt the most like I had a secure life partner. I constantly felt attracted to her physically and mentally, my overall thought with her is that I got jealous of the things she had in her life that I didn’t, and for some reason I took that really personally and subconsciously I stopped showing my affection to her the right ways. I didn’t know it at the time, but I felt separated from her through my jealousy, When those feelings started I no longer felt like the person I was with knew anything about me anymore. I felt so separated from her; every time I tried to tell her something about my feelings I couldn’t find the right words, I was too scared of what saying my true feelings would do to her. I just really didn’t want my words to hurt her. I really cared about her and I still do today. She’s a lot fragiler than most people know, you really can’t tell that by looking at her instagram anymore, she’s turned into everything that she wasn’t, everything that made me attracted to her is gone from her mind as far as I can tell. I feel like she’s so in denial about everything that actually happens in her life, just like I am, and she’s still chasing a dream she had that doesn’t exist in the real world. A girl who just wants to dance on a cruise ship [she told me this dream years before we started dating, and she never said anything to me about it changing]. The first step in her process of attaining her goal: go to college and get dance experience/connections enough to get said cruise ship job. But when you sign your life away to living on a cruise ship for a few months you can’t really bring any parts of your life with you. You can remain in a relationship with another person who is landlocked, it’s true, but you have to be ready for that time you’re going to spend apart. You need a person you know well enough that won’t cheat on you, and someone who you’re attracted enough to to not want to cheat on them or end the relationship. “Spirit of eden” by the band Talk Talk is good pondering music. [except when It gets really loud and intense for a second, then it’s distracting] When a person cheats on another, in a physical or mental way, it does end the relationship. That’s the end of all trust right there. I should have told Madison everything I knew. I should have come clean to knowing about her whereabouts and inner thoughts. I could not help myself from reading through her journal, I felt like she was no longer willing to communicate to me her thoughts, and that was the only real insight I could get. “Curiosity killed the cat” [We were both guilty of reading into each other’s personal lives without the other’s permission. In the early days of our relationship she borrowed my phone for a few hours and decided to read through my texts, needless to say, she read some stuff that she didn’t want to. Whether she ever did this again, I don’t know. I read through her phone twice, once without her permission, and once with her full permission, right in front of her face, when I knew she was talking to another guy more than she was talking to me. That was a very hard thing to do.] Knowing so much about her thoughts only made it harder to talk to her without telling her what I knew, which is only what I can perceive from her writings. I’ll never know her actual true feelings, and I don’t think she’ll ever be comfortable enough with herself or with me to try and tell me them.

3:00 AM I felt like putting a timestamp, I feel like I’ve been writing for a very long time.

9.) I really hope that Alex [The guy Madison was talking to, who she started dating immediately after we broke up] is actually a good guy. I hope that every day he actually values the person he has at hand, I hope that he loves her more than I ever did, and makes her feel the ways I always wanted to make her feel, but ultimately could not.

10.) I’ve never felt more intune with my thoughts than I have today.

11.) I feel like I need to clear up part of my day from earlier. As soon as I left the park I went to Tyler’s house where I smoked a good amount of weed and just thought a lot. Sensory overload is the term that describes my experience the best. That was definitely the peak of how high I’ve ever felt before, and i’m not too sure I’ll be doing that again very soon or again at all. But I also feel like nothing bad would happen if I were to do it. I think everything’s going to keep moving forward no matter what I do.

3:09 Starry night looks like It was created with a child’s art supplies, and when you think about it the art supplies van gogh used to paint that aren’t all that different than the ones children use to paint the things they paint. Van gogh was also in a mental asylum when he painted that. I’ve looked at that picture so differently ever since I found out that it wasn’t a mountain-ish land obstruction blocking the view of the sky and landscape, but a woman’s hair as she jumped out of her window to her death. Van gogh tried to capture what he was seeing in that one moment, when he was just looking outside at calm night going on, and to his surprise another human being was ending there entire life right in front of him.

12.) Hayden’s new bong makes too much sense. In every logistical sense, this thing has it all. I was a sound investment if i could say so myself, and I feel confident enough to argue anyone on that .

3:16 I put on dark side of the moon, I decided that it’s a bunch of sounds mashed together that I can’t deny that I enjoy.

[I was actually too busy typing to actually listen to anything intently.]

3:17 Everything I do makes sense to me. I always feel like i’m making the correct decisions for my own life.

13.) I don’t know where I would be without autocorrect.

14.) I don’t think my long drawn out joke of someone bringing me a t shirt from where they visited during spring break is going to work out. I think I really confused Allie in my attempt to completely explain to her exactly what i was trying to do. I feel like she’s more thinking about drinking with her friends and doing spring break things than to open herself enough to let my long thought out jokes be a part of her life. [This idea requires a lot of explanation, you’ll have to ask me in real life if you really want to understand what it’s about]

15.) I think Hayden is smart, and I think Katie is smart. I think that they’ll be a good couple in the future. They should cherish each other’s company as much as they can.

16.) I don’t know why my picture on instagram of a broken tulip has over 70 likes on it. I don’t think 70 people actually enjoyed that photograph for its purpose. That tulip being broken for some reason really intrigued me that day. It was a thought that I wanted to capture and keep for all eternity, and that’s what I did as far as I know when I decided to post it online. As long as I don’t delete that picture from my instagram, and I don’t delete my instagram account, I believe that Instagram will continue to exist for the rest of my life, and I’ll be able to look back at that picture. But then again, I never once thought that vine would disappear.

17.) When I like someone’s instagram picture it’s because I truly like that picture, I usually spend a second thinking about all the things they went through in their life leading up to the moment to when that picture was taken.

18.) Everything looks perfect until you get up close to it. That was my thought with this tulip. From afar it seemed so much like your average, picture perfect tulip, but the closer i got to it, the more i could see it’s imperfections, obviously some petals were falling off of it, but yet it still had other petals that were alive and thriving and living with the rest of the tulip. There wasn’t anything necessarily wrong with the tulip, it was still alive and well; it just had two petals that had broken off was all. Nothing about that tulip makes it any better or any worse than any other tulip that’s ever existed.

19.) I hope my thoughts are coming out into words, I’m doing the best I can, but it’s so very hard sometimes. I think I might take some time tomorrow and look over this and edit it to make more sense if I can.

20.) I hope that other people can read this and truly understand the person that I am a little more.

21.) I should probably do another day of journaling like this, but without the lsd. I think it will give me the same exact sense of insight on myself that I’m feeling right now.

3:36 I’m going to have to go to sleep at some point, I can’t possibly write down every single thought I’ve had today, that’s just never going to happen.

22.) But at least I’m trying, which isn’t something I could say about myself yesterday or any day before.

23.) This moment right now, as I’m typing this is the beginning and the end of everything I know, and everything I ever will come to know.

24.) I can’t tell if i’m writing more poetic because I know other people are going to read this and judge it, or if that’s just the way I think and honestly divide the words i say into.

25.) Every revelation I’ve come to today won’t be as clear in my head tomorrow; but at the same time i’m going to come to another set of revelations tomorrow and forget them all the next day, and it’ll just keep going with that same pattern until the day I die. That’s just how my thoughts work, and that’s not going to change.

26.) I’m glad I took today to look at myself from afar. If i could use one phrase to describe an acid day it would be “a day long vacation away from oneself”. You get the chance to see yourself from a third person point of view a little easier.

27.) I’m not sure why I’m still these “shower thoughts”, The number keeps getting higher and higher and I know I have the willpower right now to keep going for the infinite number of thoughts I’m trying to say, but the time just doesn’t exist for me to be able to do that.

3:45 The clock keeps moving forwards, it’ll never stop no matter what I do. There will never be a point in my life when time has completely stopped, and I can completely take the time to write down my every thought.

3:47 I’m going to call 4:30 a good bedtime for me. No matter what I’m going to sign off of this and get into bed at that point. Until then I’m going to continue writing out my every thought the best I can; I did set aside all this time today to do specifically this.

3:48 I just noticed that I have 8 pages of writing here, and that’s a lot. [It got a lot longer when I started editing] This is the most writing I’ve ever completely voluntarily written into a google docs document. I care about what I’ve written here more than I care about any of the meaningless assignments I’ve typed up and turned in through this same format.

3:51 I always feel like I tend to agree with all the overarching lessons Dr. West [my percussion professor, my main teacher] tries to teach us, but I don’t think he knows that I’ve taken the time to consider whether or not I agree with him or not, and then came to the my own independent conclusion that I agree with what he says.

3:53 I generally feel like I value my education more than the other percussionists my age, but I really don’t know the reasons that they’re in it like I know my own. I know the reasons why I’ve chosen to go to school here and I know all the things I agreed to when I signed up- all the rehearsals and the busy schedule and the feelings that I’m always really really busy during the week. My life never really slows down during the week. The weekends do a good job of giving me a chance to look about the ways I’ve been thinking during the week. Spring break does a really good job of being a super long weekend.

3:57 I feel like I have a lot to say about myself at any given time, but nobody really asks me any of it. I’m always fully prepared to share, but no one seems interested in what I have to say. But as I sit here going on and on about my own thoughts, I suppose I’m not legitimately interested in another person as much as i am with myself.

4:00 We are all really selfish, all the time. No matter what, all our thoughts will be self centered in one way or another, you cannot have truly unselfish thoughts, even if it’s your goal to have those thoughts.

4:02 I long to have another person to spend my life with, I really want to be able to pick someone as the one person I will never stray away from, who will be there with me for the rest of my life. I feel like It could literally be anyone, that me and any other person could completely fall into each other’s lives if we put in the work for it.

4:04 I know in the past I’ve at least felt like I had another person to pick for that role. I know that feeling exists, and i’m always searching for it again. But one thing I’ve learned today is that you can’t be somewhere you’re looking at. That’s the thought that stuck with everyone who read my trip report earlier, and I can see why. It’s a good one for sure.

4:06 I’m not too sure how those two thoughts go together, but right now I really feel like they do.

4:07 I keep thinking about all the possible people who might read this. There’s an endless number of people I can show, and an endless amount of different feelings they’ll have towards what they’ve read.

4:08 I’m just going to start typing the names of people who come to mind for no particular reason Erin Hayden Katie Tyler Madison Mackenzie Audrey Tori Mom Dad Other relatives Allie That girl I met on tumblr who’s name I can’t remember right now- I probably don’t know her well enough for her to deserve a mention like the other people I’ve named off Chris Donnie Zach S Gus Caleb Matt Other Gus Jeremy Other anonymous, nameless TLU percussionists from the past and present I’ve met Every person I was in the Seguin High School drumline with Everyone that’s been in the TCU drumline with me Everyone who was in Teatro with me, I don’t think I’ve ever had an actual conversation with a single person from that group. Daniel was the closest, but I still feel quite the gap between he and I, but that gap could get smaller if he and I both put in the effort to get to know each other better, It would have to be a mutual quest for knowledge about each other.

4:15 I cannot possibly write down all the names I can think of of people that I know. Alexandra comes to mind. She interested me more than a lot of others have, she’s just your very standard mormon girl seemingly, but she’s shared some of her deep inner thoughts with me, so I can for sure know that she’s a lot more than she seems like she is on the surface. I think everyone is like that, there’s always more to it, there’s always a thought and a story that go behind everything anybody does.

4:18 I feel like all the thoughts and feelings I’ve had today are completely normal to me, these are my everyday thoughts, I’m just choosing to write them all down for once.

4:19 It’s almost 4:20, I was watching the clock to see It change, but I missed it because I was typing.

4:20 I’m glad i got to timestamp 420

4:21 I think it’s so stupid how we can put so much significance behind a number like that, and everyone will know exactly what you’re talking about if you say 420.

4:22 Most people think about drugs the wrong way, as an attempt to escape reality instead of trying to be a part of it easier. At least, that’s how I perceive it.

4:23 Earlier today I had a thought, and I don’t know what it was.

4:23 Everytime I finish a sentence I feel like It was a very profound thought, but when I read it again i immediately realize that It wasn’t any more profound than the thoughts I’m having while I read the sentence.

4:25 It’s almost time for bed- I’m never going to finish writing down my every thought.

4:26 I might just sit here and stare at the clock until 4:30, I will take these next few minutes to stop typing and truly just think for a moment.

4:27 Time and thoughts cannot coexist, Also I can’t keep to what I just said I would do, I’m going to try again

4:30 4:29-4:30 was a very intense time for me. I was trying to hone into 60 Bpm, beat it on my chest and count the seconds out loud to myself in an attempt to feel time pass by. I was closer than I expected- I counted to 62 before the clock changed. You can’t divide time into anything that you can relate to.

4:32 None of my thought really make any sense when I read them- or try to put them into words. I think that’s what I learned most of all today. This is my goodnight now, I’m calling it on this day.

I cannot possibly explain the thoughts I’ve had today- I plan on reading this and trying to understand myself better tomorrow, and the days following until I get bored of reading this.

Goodnight to all the people I mentioned, and all the people who’s names I couldn’t think of specifically. Anyone who fell into those groups I mentioned, and the ones I didn’t mention.

Today was the best day I’ve ever had, It’s officially replacing the day I had that award reserved for previously. I’m also fully aware that this won’t always be my favorite day.

4:37 Just. Goodnight.

4:42 there’s so many things I want to say to every person I’ve ever met, but I just haven’t got the time to tell them. And for real this time, that’s the thought I’m going to end this day with- all of them.

After I turned in, I lied in bed for what felt like hours, I had so many thoughts going through my head that I knew I couldn’t possibly ever write down. I tossed and turned in bed to all of my standard sleeping positions over and over again, unable to find somewhere comfortable to stop and sleep. The last time I saw on a clock was 5:50. I woke up around 1:30 the next day to a call from my father, just checking in and giving me a life update. Even though I didn’t feel comfortable telling him exactly what I did the day prior I gave him the most honest answer I could come up with- “I had a normal day yesterday, I didn’t do anything out of the ordinary, I just wanted to spend some time with myself”

If I know you and you read this, let me know.

#personal #journal #blog #trip #trippy #lsd #drugs

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2peasinapodme-blog · 7 years ago

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Living like locals in Portland, OR – our 2-week experiment (cont’d)

Day 4:

It’s Saturday, and you know what that means…it’s farmer’s market time! Portland has more farmer’s markets per capita than any other city and for good reason — it’s literally surrounded by farms on all sides. Fruit orchards to the east, vineyards to the south, produce and dairy farms to the west – it’s a veritable Garden of Eden! I can’t wait to see what interesting and oddball tidbits we find today.

We headed straight for the largest of the markets, located in the heart of downtown at Portland State University. Parking was a little tricky, so we opted for a parking garage a block away which offered a very reasonable $7 weekend daily rate (in Chicago, that same space would have cost us $40). When we entered the market, we were blown away by the sheer size of it. There must have been 60-70+ market vendors lining both sides of the PSU quad with food pods at either end.

The first thing that struck me as different was the immense variety of produce – a vendor might offer 8 different types of peppers or 5 sizes of artichokes, from ginormous down to baby-size. Not just one or two types of eggs, but eight.

The other aspect that intrigued me was the artistic displays that they created to present their wares – cupboards made of old windows, wooden crates, whatever materials they could scrounge up…and it all looked awesome and cool.

And then there was the food itself, all made or grown locally, of course, and representing every imaginable food category — flavored salts, seafood, nut butters, chocolates, jerky, mushrooms, and so on — and every ethnic flavor, from Middle Eatern and Vietnamese to (very respectable) Chicago-style pizza (below) and vegan (lots and lots of vegan!).

There was a booth selling half a dozen varieties of peppers that they were grilling on-site in a big rotating roaster that resembled a giant bingo spinner…

And then there was this…

And this…

And if that’s not enough to pique your interest, there’s always the quirky entertainment. On this particular visit, we were serenaded by a guitar/kazoo duo and a guy playing a saw (yes, the tool) which, if you closed your eyes, sounded a lot like an aging B-grade opera singer…

In total, it was a fun and memorable morning, and undeniably a feast for all of the senses.

After the market, we strolled down the green to the Portland Art Museum for some culture. Unfortunately, one of the two buildings that comprise the museum complex was closed for a special event that night, but we were offered free entry to the one building that was open which housed the museum’s American and modern collections…

Guess we will just have to return another time to see the European and Asian collections. Darn.

All that culture made us downright hungry, so we headed east to 2nd Avenue and a popular Vietnamese restaurant called Luc Lac (835 SW 2nd Ave.). Being Saturday, the place was packed, as are most Portland restaurants on a weekend. But they have devised a brilliant tactic to get patrons through quickly. While standing in the queue to check in for a table, they provide menus and then take your order before seating you…sort of like a very high end, hipster Chipotle but with a full bar.

Menu at Luc Lac

The bar at Luc Lac

Within 10 minutes, we were seated at the bar. Having already placed our orders at the hostess stand, all that was left to do was enjoy or cocktails and wait for our food to arrive.

In an effort to eat a little lighter, I had ordered the shrimp-and-pork spring rolls and the Bo Tai Chanh (raw steak salad), both of which were delicious. As is the case with good Vietnamese food, fragrant fresh herbs play a leading role. In this case, the mint in the spring rolls and the abundant cilantro in the salad took the dishes to the next level. Mike ordered the pork Bahn Mi — an explosion of flavors and truly outstanding. Expertly prepared and well-balanced with a nice, crusty French bread, it was a winner.

After lunch, we headed to the SW quadrant to view a couple of residential open houses and then back to our ‘hood in the SE quadrant. One of the many great things about Portland, we’re finding, is the ease with which you can get from one neighborhood to another and the unique personalities of each. Once back in SE, we decided to park ourselves on the outdoor patio of OP Wurst (SE Division) and soak up the elusive sunshine. What better way to pass the afternoon than with beers in hand, listening to live music and watching people enjoy the sunny weather playing ping pong and corn hole? It just works, trust me.

Dinner that night proved to be a little trickier – a novice learning curve, you might say. Eager to try some of the great neighborhood restaurants, we headed out to Ava Gene’s on the corner only to find a wait of 1.5-2 hours for a table. Undeterred, we moved on down the street to Pok Pok – same 1.5-2 hour estimation there. Restaurants 3 and 4 – the same story. Even Salt & Straw, the ice cream shop, had a line down the block. Sufficiently disappointed and plenty hungry, we returned home to whip up some pasta and drown our sorrows in wine. Lesson learned – don’t go out on a Saturday night in Portland without a reservation or a very high level of patience.

Day 5:

Like many American households, Sunday means one thing: NFL. And when we’re on the road, it still means NFL; it just means we have to be a little more resourceful to find our game. Mike is a lot of things, but first and foremost he’s resourceful. Portland doesn’t have an NFL team, so most Portlanders adopt another team, typically the Seattle Seahawks. But we needed a bar that would be live streaming the Chicago Bears game. With a few Google searches, Mike found the Hobnob Grille which appeared to be a Bears-friendly bar. And boy was it! When we arrived, unsure of what we would find, we were greeted by a table of excitable, Bears jersey-wearing fans screaming expletives at the TV screen. It felt like home!

We grabbed two stools at the bar and ordered a round of very respectable Bloody Marys.

As we looked around, we noticed that absolutely everyone was dressed in Bears gear, including the staff. We had found our place!

We were expecting typical pub grub, but this is Portland and nothing is typical here. Even neighborhood corner bars have talented chefs and inspired menus. Since it was brunch time (Games start at 10 am Pacific time – something we will have to get used to. Bloodies help.), I ordered the pork belly benedict and Mike ordered the brisket and hash.

Pork belly benedict with BBQ beets at Hobnob Grille

Simply wow. The pork belly was incredibly tender and flavorful, and when layered with the soft egg and bacon-dripping hollandaise, it was ridiculous. The brisket and hash browns were equally delicious and highly recommended, but I think Mike was expecting something more resembling corned beef hash. Either way, he wasn’t disappointed. And I overheard the couple next to us repeatedly assert that the Philly omelette they ordered was the best omelette they had ever had. Quite a statement for an unassuming corner bar.

Yes, we have found our Bears go-to bar, and yes, we will be returning Thursday night for the Bears-Packers game. Hopefully it will bring us another win!

Sunday afternoon was filled with more residential open houses — one slightly encouraging, the other quite disappointing. But that’s the nature of house-hunting. After you see a lot of dogs, you really know when the right one comes around. It makes the hunt all the more compelling.

Later that evening, we were anxious to get out and grab some dinner. Seeing that it was Sunday, we hoped that we would have better luck than the night before getting in some place. But not willing to risk it, we made an advance reservation. Since it was a nice night, we decided to walk the dozen or so blocks to La Moule, a little Belgian restaurant tucked away in a tiny pocket neighborhood at SE Clinton and 26th. I’m learning the these quaint little pockets exist all over Portland. You turn a corner and boom, there’s yet another interesting pod of shops and restaurants.

La Moule is a lovely, sophisticated little corner restaurant, consisting of two narrow rooms and an open kitchen.

We were seated in the back room which, with its dim lighting and glowing bar, made for a nice, romantic atmosphere – a great place for a date!

As the name implies, La Moule specializes in mussels, a traditional Belgian dish. The typical ‘Mariniere’ preparation involves a mound of mussels swimming in a broth of shallots, tomatoes, garlic and wine. But La Moule offers several other variations, from Korean and Puttanesca to Saffron-infused. I selected the Vietnamese preparation with bone broth, bean sprouts, jalapeño, cilantro, mint and lime. (Sorry for the lame photo below.)

The mussels were plump and incredibly tender, and the fragrant herbs and bone broth added a balanced complexity. I didn’t think I could finish the entire bowl, but somehow I found the inner strength to power through. Mike order the lamb t-bone with crispy artichokes, baba ganoush and sea beans.

Again, due to the dim lighting, the photo doesn’t do justice to the dish, but hopefully you can see the delicately fried artichoke on the left because it was a little gem of deliciousness and deserves to be recognized. The accompanying lamb steak with a flavor-packed spice rub was prepared to perfection.

Despite being completely stuffed from the mountain of moules, I never seem to be able to pass on the temptation of a cheese plate…so bring it on! A beautiful selection of sheep’s milk, pungent gorgonzola dolce and ricotta-style goat — all locally produced and truly delicious — paired with a Belgian Westmalle Trappist ale. The perfect ending to a meal. And thankfully, we had a nice walk back to stretch our legs and encourage digestion. What will tomorrow bring?

Day-by-Day in PDX Living like locals in Portland, OR - our 2-week experiment (cont'd) Day 4: It's Saturday, and you know what that means...it's farmer's market time!

#bahn mi #Hobnob Grille #La Moule #Lamb t-bone #Luc Lac Vietnamese #OP Wurst #Portland Art Museum #Portland Farmer&039;s Market #Vietnamese-style mussels

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junker-town · 7 years ago

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What we learned from No Mercy 2017: Vince McMahon’s big guy fetish faltered at the wrong time

Years of memes wasted on a goofy decision.

No Mercy was great! Mostly. The parts that were supposed to be great were not necessarily great, but the parts people weren’t enthused about were all on point, so it evened out. Well, not completely evened. Enzo Amore can fall down a well and bring the Cruiserweight Championship with him, but we’ll get to that in due time.

Miz retains the Intercontinental Championship against Jason Jordan

Miz had a little help retaining the Intercontinental strap against the up-and-coming Jason Jordan, but it should be pointed out that, in true Miz fashion, he isn’t actually responsible for the shenanigans that caused Jordan to lose in the end. Jordan attacked Bo Dallas outside of the ring, and later, Dallas tried to interfere in the match itself at a crucial moment. Jordan took care of Dallas instead of ignoring him, opening the door for Miz to attack Jordan from behind.

What we learned: Yes, Miz got an assist, but in a way where he can blame Jordan for creating an opportunity for Miz to capitalize on. He’ll be stretching the truth instead of lying, and while it might not seem all that different, that’s an important distinction when it comes to heeling. Miz will truly believe he’s in the right, and he has just enough video evidence to back up his case.

Meanwhile, someone teach Jason Jordan how to read a crowd, because they loved Miz and were not at all there for Jordan’s post-match promo saying Miz sucks. Maybe just skip that one next time the crowd is going wild for a Miz win, guys. Kudos to Corey Graves for trying to say the crowd’s “Who’s your daddy?” chants were about Miz’s unborn child, though, and not Jason Jordan’s soap opera story line with long-lost father, Kurt Angle.

Finn Balor, man, defeated Bray Wyatt, god

So I called out something in the preview, about how Bray was just expecting us to forget that he constantly says a god resides within him and boosts his powers so that he and Finn Balor could have a “man vs. man” match. Wouldn’t you know it, Bray attacked Balor from behind and was like “ha ha ha, you seem to have forgotten that I constantly say a god resides within me and boosts my powers and it allowed me to book this totally unfair match with you and this time you aren’t even wearing your body paint.” Finn won despite the sneak attack and unfair nature of the match, by the way, and without even stopping in the back for a few brush strokes first.

What we learned: As with every Bray Wyatt plan ever, in the end, he lost because whatever god is inhabiting him is one of those JRPG gods who just thinks they’re omnipotent but actually forgot a whole bunch of key details that could (and eventually do) lead to their demise. “Incompetent” and “omnipotent” have most of the same letters, you know.

Or, as Brandon Stroud so eloquently put it months ago in one of wrestling’s most evergreen tweets:

Every single Bray Wyatt angle http://pic.twitter.com/hTdJ5I2VZl

— Brandon Stroud (@MrBrandonStroud) May 30, 2017

Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins retain the RAW Tag Team Championships against Sheamus and Cesaro

It’s a shame the feud between these two is likely at its end, because good lord do they work well together. And all the credit in the world goes to Cesaro, who had his teeth either knocked out of him or further into him, for continuing to wrestle a completely baller match after said teeth went askew.

Who is next up for Ambrose and Rollins? I don’t know, but at some point, we need The Revival healthy so they can come for these titles.

What we learned: Ambrose and Rollins are able to hide any flaws the two might have in their game by tagging together, and it’s art. Sheamus and Cesaro need to stay buddies even if they end up stopping chasing the tag titles and go after singles championships, because their friendship is too beautiful to break up. FRIENDSHIP-BASED TAG TEAM WRESTLING FOREVER, THE FANS ARE THE REAL WINNERS WHEN FRIENDSHIP IS INVOLVED.

Alexa Bliss pinned Bayley and defeated Emma, Sasha Banks, and Nia Jax to retain the RAW Women’s Championship

You might be upset that Alexa Bliss didn’t lose her title to Sasha or Bayley or Nia or even Emma, but it’s okay. The match was great, with tons of interaction among the five women, and logical storytelling with alliances forming and breaking and everyone realizing Nia Jax needed to be unconscious if anyone besides her was going to be productive for more than 10 seconds at a time. Plus, Alexa is going to end up facing Asuka for the RAW Women’s Championship, and her getting wrecked by the Empress of Tomorrow makes a lot more sense than having Nia suffer that fate.

What we learned: Well, I kind of already told you that above, but that’s fine because now I’ll share with you what I would have done with this match and subsequent followup.

Emma has experience with Asuka from their shared NXT days, and all of it is terrifying and likely still gives Emma nightmares. Emma winning would have been wonderful as then Asuka would have showed up to lay claim to the belt, which should have led to a month of Emma hiding backstage wherever she could, and Asuka just stalking Emma around the arena for entire shows like she’s Nemesis from the Resident Evil video games.

tl;dr

I mean if you don't want Asuka to burst through a wall to chase and attack Emma I'm not sure what we're doing here

— Marc Normandin (@Marc_Normandin) September 25, 2017

Roman Reigns defeated John Cena and is officially the biggest dog in the yard

This match was real good, and while it seems like the ending came out of nowhere, with Cena getting speared once in the ring and going down, it really did not. Reigns beat Cena’s ass for most of the match, and all Cena really got in on him was a few of his signature powered up spots: the second rope Attitude Adjustment and double AA didn’t take Reigns down, because Cena didn’t lay any groundwork. He was goofing and laughing and smiling throughout the match, but that was all Cena putting on a brave face and assuming he would win this thing in the end even as he struggled to put the same kind of hurting on Roman that Reigns was putting on Cena.

When Reigns did kick out of everything Cena had to offer, John looked exasperated, the smiles vanished, and he stared at Reigns while making some pretty clear “I don’t understand how you’re doing this right now” faces. Reigns had hit Cena with everything except his major moves — aside from the first spear that put Cena through an announce table — but then rattled off a Superman Punch and a spear to get that 1-2-3 and Cena’s respect.

What we learned: Was it the greatest match either has ever been in? Not even close. But it was far more fitting of a showdown than what we got when Cena had the torch passed to him by the Rock at either once in a lifetime match. Plus, it’s fun to see Cena get Cena’d, even if he didn’t really get Cena’d. And on a night where the announce team was letting us know his next pay-per-view would tie him for the most all-time, too.

Enzo Amore won the Cruiserweight Championship from Neville and it was dumb

I try not to harp on booking decisions too much, as playing wait-and-see often solves many issues you can dream up at the moment a supposed mistake was made. However, Enzo Amore winning the Cruiserweight Championship was a bad idea that happened in a bad match and just makes the entire cruiserweight division look bad.

Enzo is not a good wrestler. He’s good at being thrown around and ragdolled, and it helps that people want to see him get thrown around, but he never should have beaten Neville, even with a distraction. There were other wrestlers they could have done this with, or they could have not done it at all and simply had Cedric Alexander feud with Neville, which is some take my money stuff. Instead, we get the thing we knew was going to happen happen, and no one is happy.

Maybe his reign will be brief and we can move on, but considering all of the talent WWE fails to utilize within their cruiserweight division, handing the championship to the worst wrestler of the bunch is just weird. It should say a lot that I would have been fine with Lana defeating Naomi via shenanigans to heel it up as SmackDown Women’s Champ but have zero interest or justification at the ready for Enzo.

Brock Lesnar retains the WWE Universal Championship against Braun Strowman

What the hell, guys? Vince McMahon has long been OBSESSED with size, pushing huge dudes even if they didn’t have any other discernible talent outside of said hugeness. Braun Strowman is massive: he’s 6-foot-8, 385 pounds, and more agile than either of those numbers would lead you to believe. He’s charismatic, the crowd loves him, and Paul Heyman, Brock Lesnar’s manager, has been putting him over as bigger and stronger than his client, and maybe even the second-coming of Lesnar that we never thought we’d see, for weeks.

The result in their showdown, which came after a SummerSlam in which Strowman singlehandedly took Lesnar out of the proceedings for most of the match and then made him look like a nerd on television for weeks before this match? Lesnar winning after exactly one finisher, and actually out of nowhere, not in the way people will say Reigns beat Cena out of nowhere.

Vince had a chance to propel a huge human being to the next level, one who could be the focal point of the company for years to come, who already has a major following and fans dying to cheer for him despite his being a heel for so much of his run on the main roster. And, inexplicably, McMahon decided to go with Lesnar, who shows up on television every now and again, is nearly 40 years old, and is as known for vanishing on WWE for months at a time as he is for being the company’s final boss.

Imagine if Vince had halted Stone Cold’s push back in the day by having him tap out to Bret Hart instead of passing out at WrestleMania? That’s not to say Strowman is going to grow up to be Austin, but man, if anyone in the company now has a shot at being the guy, it’s him, and the reliably-obsessed-with-size-over-all Vince McMahon somehow wasn’t so reliable on that note this time.

[overly dramatic lengthy sigh]

What we learned: Brock vs. Roman II is definitely happening at WrestleMania 34, and no one is going to beat either of them until then, will they?

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arcanite2805 · 8 years ago

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Pauper - A View from the Outside

Before my first stream tomorrow, I thought I’d give a brief overview of Pauper as a format. Unfortunately, the brief slightly went out the window. Pauper as you’re probably aware, is a format played primarily on Magic Online, where only cards that have been printed at a common rarity are legal. The exception of course are the small number of cards on the banned list, which at the time of writing includes Cloud of Faeries, Cloudpost, Cranial Plating, Empty the Warrens, Frantic Search, Grapeshot, Invigorate, Peregrine Drake, Temporal Fissure and Treasure Cruise. Almost all of these were banned because they enabled extremely fast kills, or combos that were overly oppressive to the metagame.

Many extremely powerful commons have been printed across the history of magic, even today, with powerful cards from Amonkhet and Kaladesh making an impact on the format. The biggest impacts have been felt due to the rarity shifting of certain cards in the Masters sets, such as Peregrine Drake and Burning Tree Emissary most recently. The format does have a few facets missing that are normally found in others, such as the lack of planeswalkers and unconditional board sweepers for example. However, the format is cheap and healthy, and a great way to start playing on Magic online.

The Mana:

Like all decks across MTG, Pauper decks are constrained by their mana. Unlike Modern, Legacy and Vintage, the luxury of fetchland and shock/dual lands are not available. Neither are the powerful 5 colour lands like Spire of Industry, Mana Confluence and Glimmervoid; Utility lands such as Ghost Quarter and Desolate Lighthouse; or creature lands such as Celestial Colonnade or Treetop Village.

However, it is still possible to run functional multicolour manabases in Pauper. The primary multi-coloured lands used in Pauper are the neo-refuge cycle from Tarkir Block (ETB Tapped and Gain a life, T: add X or Y) and the Bounce lands for Original Ravinca Block (ETB Tapped, and return a land to your hand, T: add XY). These also have the benefit of the incidental lifegain to offset the slower mana development, or the virtual card advantage provided by giving yourself additional land drops.

Further colour fixing can be provided by Evolving Wilds/Teramorphic Expanse or by recent Commander Deck printing, Ash Barrens. These also have the additional benefit of thinning your deck of additional lands, which can be particularly valuable in decks that want to draw action spells regularly.

Additionally, multicolour decks and artifact synergy based decks utilise mana artifacts like Chromatic Sphere, and Prophetic Prism, as the 5-colour fixing, or the artifact synergy is valuable to the deck’s strategy. Some ramp decks also utilise the Signets from the original Ravinca block. Green decks can use auras like Abundant Growth and Utopia sprawl as additional fixing.

Specific decks also use more niche lands, such as Affinity’s Artifact lands, and Tron decks utilising Haunted Fengraf as an additional mana sink. Even Snow covered lands are used to power up specific cards, like Skred as additional removal spells.

Metagame:

The Current Pauper Metagame (June 2017) appears to be reasonably diverse, with aggro, tempo, control, combo and ramp decks all viable, and with significant metagame share. Tradditional Midrange (think modern Jund, or standard creature based decks) is somewhat reduced in prevalence, although some decks in the metagame can take this position in a given matchup.

My theory for this apparent lack of metagame share is because the lack of efficient 2-for-1 answers and generic solutions to the wide range of pauper threats mean that it is extremely difficult to line up threats and answers in the right manner. This can be alleviated with sufficient card advantage, which is hard to come by in non-blue decks, which then tend towards a more consistently controlling approach.

The recent release of the Conspiracy 2 cards for Magic Online has given some hope to these archetypes with the ‘Monarchy’ cards (Palace Sentinels and Thorn of the Black Rose). These both allow you to add a reasonable body to the board, whilst providing an easy, recurring source of card advantage. They also add a fun level of strategic complexity to the game, as if you take a hit, your opponent steals the monarchy and your card advantage!

The main source of data that we can use to appreciate the state of the pauper metagame is the successful lists from Magic Online tournaments. These have recently been mostly 5-0 deck lists from leagues, along with the top decks from the recently added “Pauper Challenges”. Although these clearly don’t give a complete picture of the metagame, it is the primary force that drives churn in the metagame. MTG Goldfish takes these decks and groups them (roughly) by archetype, from which a picture of the metagame can be formed.

Delver (UR/Mono-U):

As you might expect, Delver is one of the most popular decks in Pauper. The allure of playing cheap efficient threats, disruption and removal and the ability to have a fighting chance in any matchup is often too much to pass up. Along with Delver itself, Faerie Miscreant and Spellstutter Sprite add a disruptive and card advantage angle to the deck. More card advantage comes from the Ninja of Deep Hours, who are easily set up by the evasive nature of the other threats. Augur of Bolas (UR) and Spire Golem (Mono-U) round out the threat suite.

The threats are supported by efficient countermagic like… uhhh… actual Counterspell, Daze and Logic Knot. Opposing threats are dealt with by efficient removal like Lightning Bolt and Skred, and bounce spells like Snap and Vapor Snag that can also be used to protect your creatures in a pinch.

All this value is tied together by Ponder and Preordain: two of the greatest cantrips ever printed deemed two powerful for modern. A little extra draw power is provided by Gush – which is now only legal at a full 4 copies in Pauper.

Mono Green Stompy:

Since the release of Modern Masters 2017, Burning Tree Emissary has unleashed its true power on Pauper. Stompy looks to flood the board with extremely cheap threats, and force damage through with Hunger of the Howlpack, Rancor and Vines of Vastwood (which also protects your creatures from pesky removal.

The threats are somewhat homogenous, all costing one or two mana. Young Wolf adds a little resiliency, whilst Nettle Sentinel and Skargan Pit Skulk offer immediate two power for one mana (and a little evasion in the case of the Skulk). Quirion Ranger, whilst not offering a particularly high power, allows you to reuse your lands on turns where you don’t hit your land drop, allowing you to continue deploying threats.

Moving up the curve, Burning Tree Emissary allows you to deploy multiple threats as quickly as possible, and enables your best draws. Nest Invader adds an additional body to the board, whilst River Boa and Silhana Ledgewalker and Vault Skirge add some more evasion.

Affinity:

Again, featuring cards deemed too powerful for Modern, Pauper Affinity is powered by the full power of the Artifact Lands. Along with a collection of cheap artifacts, the true Affinity threats of Myr Enforcer and Frogmite can see the light of day again. These are supplemented by the pretender Gearseeker Serpent and the efficient metalcraft threat Carapace Forger. Finally, Atog makes an appearance, as a powerful quick combo kill by eating your redundant artifacts to get in a huge hit (sometimes powered by Temur Battle Rage), or to literally ‘Fling’ it at your opponent.

Digging for these threats is made easy using Thoughtcast and Perilous Research, whilst a variety of cheap artifacts (Chromatic Star, Springleaf Drum, Ichor Wellspring and Prophetic Prism) power affinity, draw cards and fix your coloured mana. Galvanic Blast rounds out the deck with a little more reach and interaction with whatever creatures your opponent tries to contest the board with.

The huge amount of manafixing also enables a very customisable sideboard, able to be customised to whatever the metagame throws at it. Conversely, Affinity is vulnerable to specific artifact hate, and as one of the key players in the format, most sideboards will attempt to prepare for affinity with powerful cards like Gorilla Shaman, Natural State and Gleeful Sabotage.

Kuldotha Boros:

Affinity isn’t the only deck that utilises the cantripping artifacts as a value engine. Kuldotha Boros uses Prophetic Prism and Alchemist’s Vial to draw cards, pick them up and replay them again with Glint Hawk and Kor Skyfisher, which are simply efficient threats when you turn their downside into an upside. Thraben Inspector also pulls double duty, generating a clue, and becoming a decent self-bounce target too. Additional value can be generated with cycling lands, which can be picked up later in the game by your threats or bouncelands once you have sufficient mana.

Two different approaches can then be employed. Traditionally, a token based approach using Kuldotha Rebirth and Battle Screech, with a final push from Rally the Peasants is used to kill the opponent once the board is under your control. The release of Palace Sentinels has allowed builds to take a more traditional midrange and card advantage approach instead.

This is made possible with a varied removal suite including damage based removal like Lightning bolt, Flame Slash and Galvanic Blast (additionally powered by artifact lands), along with more general removal such as Journey to Nowhere to deal with larger threats.

Tron:

Tron decks use the Urzatron lands (Urza’s Mine, Power Plant and Tower) to generate a huge mana advantage, and use powerful expensive spells to take over the game. Thanks to the colourfixing from lands like Painted Bluffs (and its functionally identical variants) and Prophetic Prism, a range of game plans can be used. Big Win conditions include the largest creature in pauper, Ulamog’s Crusher, the biggest burn spell, Rolling Thunder, or more intricate value based plans involving Dinrova Horror.

Dinrova Horror and Ghostly Flicker combine well with the Mnemonic Walls (a staple across all versions) to decimate the opponents board, as the mana advantage provided by Tron allows multiple iterations of the combo each turn. It also works well with the other value creatures included in the deck: Mulldrifter and Sea Gate Oracle.

A variety of interaction can be included in the Tron decks, thanks to their flexibility. Counterspells such as Condescend can be used to good effect Along with card advantage tools such as Mystical Teachings and Forbidden Alchemy. Some decks choose to interact with red removal, whereas others choose to ignore their opponents while setting up, and rely on Moment’s Peace to keep them alive while setting up their endgame. Most of the interaction used

Tron is assembled by utilising the card draw throughout the deck, along with searching tools like Crop Rotation and Expedition Map.

UB Control:

Like Tron, UB control exists in a variety of forms. The fundamental gameplan of control the game until you have enough resources to put away the game. The most common build utilises a ghostly flicker combo like Tron, but uses Chittering Rats and Archeomancer to completely lock the game as the components are cheaper, and UB doesn’t have the overwhelming mana advantage that Tron does. Other versions use Gurmag Angler as a finisher, or in the most extreme case, a single copy of Curse of the Bloody Tome.

The win conditions are supplemented by a range of card advantage. Augur of Bolas, Sea Gate Oracle and Mulldrifter are all seen, particularly in Ghostly flicker builds. Creature less builds and Angler builds rely strongly on Mystical Teachings and Forbidden Alchemy respectively. As well as the standard Ponder and Preordain, some builds also utilise thought scour to power up graveyard synergies.

The interaction comes primarily in the form of counterspells (Counterspell, Remove Soul, Prohibit, Exclude etc.) and removal (Chainer’s Edict, Disfigure, Doom Blade, Echoing Decay etc.), with a huge variety of options available. Some builds can also utilise Evincar’s Justice as both a Win condition and sweeper with incidental lifegain such as Pristine Talisman.

Bogles:

Just like the Modern Version, Bogles seeks to load up hexproof creatures with as many auras as possible, so they hit as hard as possible, and neutralize opposing forms of interaction. Slippery Bogle, Gladecover Scout and Silhana Ledgewalker are the key threats, with some builds utilising the power of Aura Gnarlid as an additional threat.

Ancestral Mask and Ethereal Armor both scale with the numbers of auras in play, resulting in huge creatures. Rancor and Armadillo Cloak both provide Trample to prevent token blockers from being effective. Abundant Growth and Utopia Sprawl fix your mana for the white splash, whilst increasing the aura count. Amonkhet has reinvigorated the archetype, with Cartouche of Strength adding some interaction, and Cartouche of Solidarity protecting your creatures from pesky edict effects.

Izzet Blitz:

A similarly all in deck, Izzet Blitz aims to use Kiln Fiend or Nivix Cyclops, along with a handful of cheap spells to kill the opponent in one shot. The damage is ensured to hit your opponent thanks to Slip Through Space and Temur Battle Rage, or Apostle’s Blessing, which also protects your creatures.

The combo is put together with the standard cantrip suite of Ponder and Preordain, along with Faithless Looting and Gitaxian Probe. Augur of Bolas and Gush also help dig towards your combo pieces. Dispel also acts to protect your creatures, and Lightning Bolt adds a little interaction to slow opponents down.

Others:

Other decks with fewer consistent finishes include Elves, Various Blue Control Decks, Slivers, Mono White Tokens, and Burn just to name a few. There are even infinite combo decks such as Midnight Guard + Presence of Gond in the format.

One of the best features about the Pauper format is that because the format is so cheap, brewing new decks is incredibly feasible. With a small number of exceptions, cards are extremely cheap, and decks usually cost less than forty tickets ($40) on magic online. Once I am more familiar with the format, expect to see me brewing and playing more unique decks.

Stream:

This Week’s Stream on Friday will (likely) feature a friend and I running UR Delver through a league, and who knows where we will end up after that! I’m aiming to start sometime before 7:30 and 8:00 (BST), on https://www.twitch.tv/arcanite2805. Hope to see you there!!!

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bentchcreates · 8 years ago

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Summer Feels, A #romanceclass Anthology

A few things I want you to know before you proceed with my review: For starters, I’m one of the twenty-three authors featured in this book. So yes, you might call bias, but this is my book and my blog so I get to do whatever hell I want to do here. That’s also why this is only Part 1 of the #SummerFeels content I’m releasing. The review today is my reader-side talking, come back tomorrow for the writer-side view. :P

So anyway, here’s my shot at the Summer Feels Anthology Blog Tour!

I will not deny that twenty-three short stories is a lot to process, (I had to take breaks in between, and by breaks I mean reading other books between the stories to even out my feels) that’s why it took a whole month before I finished the entire thing! Haha!

But it was fun discovering/re-discovering different authors’ writing styles, voices and themes this close to each other. I learned a lot from authors who are already my favorites, and those I was only reading for the first time. The gradual (but necessary) rise in heat level was also a good call on editor Kate Sebastian. It made the book cleaner in terms of “flow” and it ensured all authors get equal spotlight whether they’re new or are already established in the literary scene.

I initially didn’t want to review the stories one by one but reading other blogs who said nice things to each and every story was fun and enlightening so I’m gonna do the same here, even if it’s just one liners of what I loved about it.

1. All About That Bass by Fay Sebastian

It was perfect to start the anthology with this sweet and fluffy story. I loved the Glee references and how everything led to #LiRika

2. Alter Christus by Catherine Lo

Certified crowd favourite and I totally agree. While it is true that this stood out because of the heart-wrenching theme, I think I love how Catherine’s narrative flowed artistically smooth and the characters were well-rounded enough to carry such heavy-weight romance.

3. Fall for Me by Miel Salva

Another cute story filled with Filipino food and feels! I can’t wait for the full Yasmin x Igo book to come out!

4. The Game of Twenty Questions by Elizabeth Galit

The pacing of the scenes leading up to the grand reveal of feelings is swoon-worthy! The second chance trope is difficult to navigate but this one nailed it.

5. The Summer You Said Hello by Ami Granada

Sexy voices and on-air flirting sold this for me! And ugh, knowing both of them were playing coy on purpose gave me life!

6. At the Bermuda Triangle by Elea Andrea Almazora

The banter with this one is solid af. I love how the characters talked and ‘acted’ and I especially love the humor and sarcasm in each of them. And then there was the feels! *Kiligs*

7. Beachin’ Summer by Arlene Manocot

#romanceclass shout out! Haha! I love that in this one, the guy is the romance junkie and the girl gets him. In Pagudpud, nonetheless!

8. Buddy System by Yeyet Soriano

The ‘plays’ Carlo and Kit did to finally, finally admit their feelings to each other is A+. And ugh, don’t even get me started on that Javi x random IT guy fanservice scene! I will now stock easy to melt hard candies in my bag for impromptu kissing games! *yes, this is what I’m taking from this story. LOL

9. Busy Out of The Friendzone by Charlie Dio

Gillian, gurl! *snaps fingers in the air!* I love her witty clapbacks and the way Aidan put a “love stamp” on her to get their messages across. XD I enjoyed this so much!

10. Flying With You by Rachelle Belaro

Incredibly sweet and the parts about travelling were great! And OMG, that cake!

11. Guide for A Day by H. Bentham

THIS IS THE BEST STORY IN ALL OF THE UNIVERSE!! Lol. Not really. Even I can’t convince myself with this. Haha. But everyone loves their first born. ;)

12. Ready to Run by Kit Salazar

This take on the friends with benefits trope is awesomely done! I love the powerplay between the athlete and the homebody. Argh. I mentioned that and a recollection of what Chris and Lauren did with their ‘homebodies’ flashed before my eyes!

13. Secondhand Wanderlust by Erleen Alvarez

The twist in this one is unprecedented, but I love it. There is sadness, but also happiness, courage and hope.

14. The Search for The Kissing Monster by Ella Banta

This is incredibly sweet and fluffy and a creative take on the ‘what did I do last night’ trope. I absolutely adore Vincent and his friends and their pact to always spend a bit of summer together. Ella Banta’s HeistClub background might’ve influenced the light mystery in this but the romance is apparent and is very well executed overall.

15. Anything Can Happen by Marian Tee

This is where I started to find considerable heat! And omg, ALEXIO, if anyone introduces himself with this name, gurl, I’m telling you, anything can happen!!

*Disclaimer, he has to have this Alexio’s good looks and abs, ofc. LOL

16. Four Basic Principles by Bianca Mori

I love the efficient use of alternating POV’s in such a short piece! That in itself is impressive, but wait ‘til the steamy kilig (along with the glorious bickering!) takes you by surprise!

17. Love After Summer by Irene Jurado

I love the names of the characters, as well as the CAKE! LOL. Ooh, and wedding hook-up fizzles and sizzles until the romance is palpable. It’s a lovely read.

18. Lucky in Paradise by Farrah F. Polestico

I didn’t think I’d enjoy this as much as I did but it was amazing! The non-promise and pining and the eventual second chance drama made me feel things from a part of my heart I didn’t know I still had access to! Haha!

19. The Swimming Instructor by Eris Peñaluna

I thought this started YA-ish so I wondered why this was put farther up the steam level, and then we’re talking about hiding swimmer’s tents, electric touches and voila! We’re in sexy pool palooza! I need moarr of Jandro x Ariel!

20. Wedding Night Stand by Mina V. Esguerra

I knew this story was hot from the onset, but oh my god, when it did turn super hot, I was still caught unawares and so happy for Andrea! I haven’t read What You Wanted yet (which I’m now planning to correct in the following couple of days!) but familiar characters make this even more endearing!

21. An Overdue Adventure by Kate Sebastian

I’ve been around Cebu countless times but I haven’t gone on an adventure similar to Hilary’s. I should probably do that before I turn thirty and I MUST stock up on Aloe Gel because that’s how you get sun gods to give you what you want! Hehe. I also adore the Bisaya representation of this one! I miss the Queen City so much now!

22. Buttered Sunset by Halina Cabrera

I can’t decide what I love most about this. Is it the illustrious scenic descriptions of the food and places? The fact that there was a sort of courtship (four/five meriendas is the modern day ligawan, imho)? Or that Sol is a woman of power who knows precisely how and when to use said power? All of the above, probably.

23. Then Derrick Was Back by Georgette S. Gonzales

I was angry at Derrick because he was clearly just playing with Nadia’s heart the first time…and then he wasn’t! Argh! Georgette’s superb writing got me so affected I was ready to vent tweet about German boys and why we need to avoid them, but good thing I waited ‘til I finished the story. Hihi. Let’s not avoid them, okay? :P

So that’s that. Haha.

The thing about anthologies by different authors is that not all will be suitable to my reading tastes. But I guess with this one, it’s okay. Some stories seemed to have been paced too slow for me, but when I managed to push through with it, I found that the ‘slowness’ was necessary groundwork for the kilig fireworks to explode by the end. And in the others I found things I wish my story had, or things I knew could be developed more, etc., etc.

I also got to read more straight steam than I can usually take (*this is prude of me to say considering I devour M/M smut like crazy) but I appreciate how hot/loving/raw the scenes were depending on the author and her target audience. And yeah, sex scenes of this kind are far better than smut in comparison, straight or queer.

The Summer Feels stories are short enough to get to the bite-sized HEAs and still let you enjoy your summer activities. If anyone asks me what I did this summer, well, I went touring up from Pagudpud and down to Gen San twenty-three times over!

6 of 5 Stars. I mean, 5 stars are enough for the anthology on its own. +1 Star for my story because I love my work and I deserve it.

Blurb:

Summer loving happens so fast, as you'll find with Summer Feels, an anthology of 23 stories of love under the summer sun by #romanceclass authors. Savor the candied thrill of firsts—first loves, first kisses, first solo vacations—and the bittersweet triumph of second chances. Tour the Philippines as the stories take you to mountain retreats and island paradises. Let the magic of the hot sun, clear blue skies, and lots of love take you on a roller coaster ride of feels. With stories ranging from sweet to sexy, there's sure to be something for any fan of romance.

BUY LINKS:

Amazon E-Book: http://bit.ly/summerfeels

Print Book (PH Only): http://bit.ly/summerfeels-pof

About the Authors:

Elea Andrea Almazora Elea Andrea Almazora typically writes poetry and speculative fiction and has a weakness for funny romance stories. She currently works as a contributor to Playboy magazine’s Advisor column. To learn more about this author and for updates on new releases, please Visit her blog, readinginbetween.com Follow her on Twitter @ealmazora Like her Facebook page, facebook.com/ealmazora Follow her on Amazon at amazon.com/author/eleaalmazora Erleen Alvarez When she's not running errands or making monthly reports, Erleen Alvarez escapes the real world by reading books and writing stories about love of all kinds. She lives in a small town in Camarines Norte, where she’s trying to complete at least one publishable novel. To learn more about this author and for updates on new releases, please Visit her blog, bookforya.blogspot.co.uk Follow her on Twitter @BooksforYA Like her Facebook page, facebook.com/author.erleen.alvarez Follow her on Amazon at amzn.to/2py994M Follow her on Goodreads at bit.ly/2oDRpr6 Ella Banta Ella Banta is a purple-loving, egg pie-eating 30-something woman. Writing has always been a dream for her since she was little. And writing for a #romanceclass book is a dream come true. After this, she plans to write more and hopefully meet more awesome egg pie-eating peeps. To learn more about this author and for updates on new releases, please Visit her blog, gabrielleluna.wordpress.com Follow her on Twitter @gabbie_ellaine Like her Facebook page, facebook.com/ellabantawriting Follow her on Amazon at amzn.to/2pwjLEj Follow her on Goodreads at bit.ly/2pyi9XU

Rachelle Belaro Rachelle is a published author of Pop Fiction, an imprint of Summit Books. She chooses watching Kdramas over writing stories, which makes it difficult for her to finish a chapter. If daydreaming were a profession, she could have made a great career in it. To learn more about this author and for updates on new releases, please Visit her blog, rachellebelaro.wordpress.com Follow her on Twitter @areysieyts Like her Facebook page, facebook.com/rachbelaro Follow her on Amazon at amazon.com/author/rachellebelaro Follow her on Goodreads at bit.ly/2o45RYx H. Bentham H. Bentham was born and raised in the Philippines, but now resides 1,487 miles away from home. He battles homesickness with his various hobbies and (mostly) by procrastinating on the internet. When he's done being bored, he writes stories and, when he's feeling particularly profound, poems. He adores turtles and bettas, enjoying the slow, quiet companionship they provide. To learn more about this author and for updates on new releases, please Follow him on Twitter @bentchbites Like his Facebook page, facebook.com/Mr.H.Bentham Follow him on Amazon at amzn.to/2nZO6eo Follow him on Goodreads at bit.ly/2oIysCK Halina Cabrera Halina Cabrera writes steamy romance, among other things, while she’s on break. She’s a breakfast person (that’s not the same as being a morning person). And she loves serif fonts. She’ll keep writing until she keels over. To learn more about this author and for updates on new releases, please Follow her on Twitter @cabrerahalina Like her Facebook page, facebook.com/HalinaCabrera Follow her on Goodreads atbit.ly/2nKWytT Charlie Dio Charlio Dio is a jack of all trades hailing from the Philippines. She loves reading, writing, watching anime, and taking long walks with her two dogs. An office employee by day and an internet ninja by night, she spends the majority of her waking hours talking to people in her head and putting their stories into written words. To learn more about this author and for updates on new releases, please Follow her on Twitter @chardiosaurus Like her Facebook page, facebook.com/Charlie-Dio-622595757951587/ Mina V. Esguerra Mina V. Esguerra writes contemporary romance. She blogs about her writing and publishing adventures at minavesguerra.com. To learn more about this author and for updates on new releases, please Sign up for her mailing list at bit.ly/list-minavesguerra Visit her website, minavesguerra.com Follow her on Twitter @minavesguerra Like her Facebook page, facebook.com/minavesguerra Follow her on Amazon at amazon.com/author/minavesguerra Follow her on Goodreads at bit.ly/2p1YcaQ Elizabeth Galit Elizabeth Galit’s friends call her Beth. She is a book hoarder, romance writer, a chocolate sucker, a coffee addict and a hopeless romantic. To learn more about this author and for updates on new releases, please Visit her website, bethgstories.com Follow her on Twitter @bethgstories Like her Facebook page, facebook.com/bethgstories Follow her on Amazon at amazon.com/author/elizabethgalit Follow her on Goodreads at bit.ly/2oaLzwR Georgette S. Gonzales Georgette S. Gonzales is an author of romance in Filipino (as Edith Joaquin of My Special Valentine) and in English. She’s also written crime fiction novella Classified. Gette is a milrom junkie; she cooks but does not bake, loves to travel, and prides herself on being a singer, poet, and friend. To learn more about this author and for updates on new releases, please Visit her website, pinaynobelista.com Follow her on Twitter @Gette_aka_EJmsv Like her Facebook page, facebook.com/georgette.pinaynobelista Follow her on Amazon at amzn.to/2oJa3Li Follow her on Goodreads at bit.ly/2oDwHaR Ami Granada Ami Granada writes romances, travel stories, and poetry. She has written one romance novel in English (Unspoken), romance novels in Tagalog, and short stories that have been published in local magazines and newspapers. The only time she feels really free is when she travels and when she writes. To learn more about this author and for updates on new releases, please Visit her blog, amidemanila.blogspot.com Follow her on Twitter @amidemanila Like her Facebook page, facebook.com/amidemanila Like her on Goodreads at bit.ly/2o06KCQ Irene Jurado Irene is a full-time mom in the morning and full-time employee by night. Once she puts everything in order, she becomes a romance reader, writes short stories, opens her bag full of watercolors, and drinks her milk tea. To learn more about this author and for updates on new releases, please Follow her on Twitter @I_reign_ Follow her on Amazon at amzn.to/2peizWo Catherine Lo Catherine Dellosa Lo is a freelance writer by day and a geek by night, with works published in SuperHeroStuff, Vibal’s POC, Philippine Daily Inquirer, and more. She hopes to soar the skies as a superhero someday, but for now, she believes in saving lives through fiction. For fun, her personal blog recounts rookie misadventures as a noob wife. To learn more about this author and for updates on new releases, please Visit her blog, quirkylifeofthenoobwife.blogspot.com Like her Facebook page, facebook.com/TheNoobWife Follow her on Amazon at amzn.to/2nZN3uP Follow her on Goodreads at goodreads.com/TheNoobWife Arlene Manocot Arlene Manocot writes in English and Filipino. Her words dwell in the realms of fantasy, suspense and romance. Aside from writing fiction, she also weaves poems from the endless thread of life. Daydreaming is an expensive hobby she'd like to preserve, and putting her thoughts into writing keeps her sane in this world of insanity. To learn more about this author and for updates on new releases, please Visit her blog, writingandlovinit.blogspot.com Follow her on Twitter @arlenemanocot Like her Facebook page, facebook.com/manocot.arlene Follow her on Amazon at amazon.com/author/arlenemanocot Follow her on Goodreads at goodreads.com/arlenemanocot Bianca Mori Bianca Mori is the author of One Night at the Palace Hotel, Tame the Kitten, and the Takedown Trilogy. She is interested in exploring power in romance and enjoys reading about demimondaines, pin-up girls and Jazz Age personalities and hopes to reinterpret these in her stories. She lives with her family and a hyperactive pug. To learn more about this author and for updates on new releases, please Follow her on Twitter @thebiancamori Like her Facebook page, facebook.com/thebiancamori Follow her on Amazon at amzn.to/2nbI4Hd Follow her on Goodreads at goodreads.com/thebiancamori Eris Peñaluna The author is a graduate of the University of the Philippines. This is her first romance short story, though she plans to publish a novel in the near future. During her spare time, she practices yoga, runs and tries to learn as many languages as she can. To learn more about this author and for updates on new releases, please Follow her on Twitter @ErisPenaluna Like her Facebook page, facebook.com/erispenaluna Like her on Goodreads at bit.ly/2nZZ5EN Farrah F. Polestico Farrah F. Polestico wanted to be a lot of things in life—an engineer, a nurse, an astrophysicist. But it wasn’t until she was thirteen that she knew she was going to be a published writer. When she’s not up all night writing her next book, you can find her reading anything and everything, from Charles Dickens novels to old grocery receipts. To learn more about this author and for updates on new releases, please Visit her blog, bookskeepmesane.wordpress.com Follow her on Twitter @bookskeepmesane Follow her on Amazon at amzn.to/2oJlZwO Follow her on Goodreads at bit.ly/2oaCvYK Kit Salazar Kit has always known what she wanted in life, but only recently took courage to go after it. She's back to doing things things that she loves, including writing and illustrating, while juggling a side job that helps fuel her creativity. To learn more about this author and for updates on new releases, please Follow her on Twitter @KitSalazarAuthor Like her Facebook page, facebook.com/kitsalazarauthor Follow her on Amazon at amzn.to/2nZXLSd Follow her on Goodreads at goodreads.com/kitsalazarauthor Miel Salva Miel Salva is a Filipino HR consultant by day and a romance writer/reader by heart. She enjoys watching movies, documentaries and TV series and going out to eat with friends or with her fiancé. She reads and writes stories about love and its many different facets because she believes that even in this world filled with hate, love still prevails. To learn more about this author and for updates on new releases, please Visit her blog, mielsalva.wordpress.com Follow her on Twitter @Miel_Salva Like her Facebook page, facebook.com/pg/MielSalva.Author Follow her on Amazon at amazon.com/author/mielsalva Follow her on Goodreads at bit.ly/2pec7Pf Fay Sebastian Fay is a speech communication student who writes even on the busiest of days because writing prevents her from turning into a college zombie. Why she holds writing instruments in an odd way will always be a mystery to the world. To learn more about this author and for updates on new releases, please Visit her blog, faysebastian.wordpress.com Follow her on Twitter @mileventwelve Like her Facebook page, facebook.com/Mileventwelve Follow her on Amazon at amazon.com/author/faysebastian Follow her on Goodreads at bit.ly/2oJDblO

Kate Sebastian Kate Sebastian has been crafting stories since she was tiny. She spent her childhood reimagining classic fairy tales and inventing new ones. She earns a good living writing articles and editing manuscripts, but decided to try her hand at writing romance (the steamy kind) since she reads so much of it. To learn more about this author and for updates on new releases, please Visit her website, katesebastian.com Follow her on Twitter @ImKateSebastian Like her Facebook page, facebook.com/katesebastianauthor Follow her on Amazon at amazon.com/author/katesebastian Follow her on Goodreads at goodreads.com/KateSebastian Yeyet Soriano Yeyet Soriano is an Asia Pacific IT manager by day, writer by night, and a wife and mother of three all throughout. Turning Points, In My Dreams, The Retreat, and Kate, Finally are her self-published novels. Romance is not her core genre, but all her stories, no matter how dark or twisted, have romantic elements embedded in them. To learn more about this author and for updates on new releases, please Visit her website, ysrealm.com Follow her on Twitter @ysrealm Like her Facebook page, www.facebook.com/Yeyetsorianowrites Follow her on Amazon at amazon.com/author/yeyetsoriano Follow her on Goodreads at bit.ly/2nbyOmv Marian Tee Marian Tee is the author of The Art of Catching a Greek Billionaire, which is part of the New York Times and USA Today bestselling Billionaire Bad Boys of Romance. To learn more about this author and for updates on new releases, please Visit her website, authormariantee.com Follow her on Twitter @authormariantee Like her Facebook page, facebook.com/authormariantee Follow her on Amazon at amazon.com/author/mariantee Follow her on Goodreads at bit.ly/2oaFHDO

#bookish #bentchcreates #book review #summerfeelsanthology #romanceclass

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therightnewsnetwork · 8 years ago

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Writing Angry: Celebrities, Supergirl, and Political Creep

Americans can put up with a lot when it comes to celebrities. We still go watch Mission Impossible movies even after Tom Cruise had a bouncy seizure on Oprah Winfrey’s couch. We can even forgive him for hawking a religion that has all the trappings of a cult to anyone outside of it. People still tuned in to watch Joe Namath play football even after he admitted to a strange predilection for wearing pantyhose. (Well, strange for that time at least. If Tom Brady did it now, we’d all let out a collective, “Whatever.”)

People even still watch the Kardashians even after it’s become painfully clear that they do absolutely nothing. Hell, they watch them specifically because they do nothing.

But one thing we cannot tolerate is the newfound need of any person with even a slight hint of notoriety to expound their political views if they get within 20 yards of anyone with a video camera or cell phone. Like creeping ivy weaves its way up a trellis, politics has started to creep into our entertainment, and that’s not something we’re going to take sitting down… even if the couches we potato on are really comfortable.

I’ve posited a theory about why this is happening (Hollywood Guilt: Why So Liberal?), but just to recap: If you made millions for doing something every kid in the entire world does for free, and you came to the realization that if you disappeared tomorrow, a hundred other people just as talented as you are there to replace you, you would probably feel the need to do something that others might consider more worthwhile. In a world where people are supposed to feel guilty about the color of their skin or how much they make, it’s a solid hypothesis. Unfortunately, it would be impossible to test because no celebrity would ever be honest about that while they’re telling you how hard it was on their psyche to pretend to be someone else.

Soldiers facing IED’s in Iraq didn’t go through anything compared to an actor having to pretend to fight with a laser sword that he could only see after postproduction.

What these celebs seem too self-important to realize is that we watch them because we need a break from the real world from time to time, especially politics, and we do that primarily through them. They appeal to us because they can take us away from our lives, if only for a couple of hours. When they stop being able to do that, their value as a celebrity drops like an eagle hitting a wind turbine.

Slight pause. A little background for perspective:

I’m a self-admitted movie buff and comic book nerd. (It says so right in my bio, thanks for reading.) As a world class insomniac, I tend to get in two to three movies a night. I had rated over 15,000 movies on Netflix before they switched to the thumbs up/thumbs down system and made me start all over.

That’s not bragging, unless lack of sleep is a virtue in your mind. I just don’t want anyone to think I’m just writing this out of hatred for celebrities. I’m not. I’ve spent the night with quite a few of them. Now back to the column.

Believe it or not, most people don’t want to know about a celebrity’s political views whether they agree or not. In the celebrity search to matter, they taint the very reason they matter to us.

We want to go to a Green Day concert and sing along with Basket Case without hearing Billie Joe shout “F^$& Trump.” We could stay home and watch any report from Portland, OR to get that.

We want to watch a football game without having to think about who’s going to be taking a knee during the national anthem. (And for God’s sake, don’t pretend that the flag and the anthem haven’t been part of sports since the day Cain and Able picked up a couple sticks and played field hockey with a sheep patty.)

We want to read a Stephen King book or listen to a Cher album without worrying about whether they blocked us on Twitter. (Ok, that one was personal.)

And this may come as a surprise, but I want to watch a Clint Eastwood movie and not think about him talking to an empty chair.

No celebrity has ever changed anyone’s political opinion. No one says,” Well, I was against illegal immigration, but then Kylie Jenner gave that Pepsi to that cop, and now I get it!”

At most, it’s a validation of what we already think. It’s fun to believe that you and Lady Gaga are simpatico, or that Kid Rock and I could have lunch together without wanting to kill each other by the time we get dessert. It makes us feel that we could sit at the table with the cool kids.

No, as much as celebs want you to believe that they just feel it in their hearts that as long as you gave them fame, they have the obligation to use it to make a difference in “just one person’s life”, it ends up being a supremely selfish act. If you do something just for the sake of someone seeing you do it, you can’t truly call it altruistic.

“Now, Parker ” you say, “a lot of people get on Twitter and pop off about politics. Why can’t celebrities do that?

“Good question,” I reply, “and to that I say know your role.”

You don’t turns on the news expecting a reporter to suddenly break into a stand-up comedy routine, and nobody goes to The Avengers expecting Iron Man to deliver a soliloquy on gun control. The first has yet to be seen; the latter is becoming all too common. And it’s not just the actors, the political creep is weaving its way into their product, too, thanks to Hollywood writers who feel the need to get in on the politically correct act.

Arrow (yes, I’m a comic book nerd) had that very special episode on the goods and bads of gun control. Supergirl’s entire season turned into a thinly disguised Trump-bash about immigration. (Yes, there are aliens on Earth, but most of them were good and there is no reason except bigotry to kick them off the Earth or for God’s sake do something silly like build a force field around the planet to keep them out. Most of them were just trying to get away from their own bad planets.

The writers were so intent on getting this message in, they completely forgot that Supergirl worked for a secret government organization dedicated to monitoring those aliens and getting rid of or locking away the bad ones.)

If I tuned in to the West Wing, I knew I was going to watch a political show. Ditto House of Cards or Homeland. I even know which way the show is going to slant. If I tune in to Supergirl, I want to turn my brain off and see a flying woman kick some alien butt with heat vision. I don’t want to watch her have a debate. Not only is it clubbing you over the head with a position, it’s just bad writing.

As a conservative, I’m a big believer in freedom of speech, and everyone has the right to share their opinions. Celebrities aren’t excluded from that, but they need to get over themselves and realize the reason they’re celebs in the first place. There are consequences for their little forays into feigned relevance. George Clooney’s movies have tanked, and it’s not just because they were all horrendous (although Solaris could put an ADHD kid on a sugar high to sleep.) A bigger reason is that he’s turned off half the people in the country who would bother to go watch him onscreen.

Clooney, like Hillary Clinton, may feel like he doesn’t want those deplorable people as fans anyway. If he does that would be a shame, since he owes a lot of his success to those very people.

I don’t want to speculate about Clooney’s life, but he’s got money for days, a gorgeous wife, and a job a lot of people would love to have. I’m guessing he’ll be okay no matter what I think. I can say the same about Trump, which is why I’m pretty sure he doesn’t care what Sarah Silverman or Whoopi Goldberg think of him.

Judging by the last election, most people aren’t influenced by their opinions either.

I just don’t want to become a place where our entertainment avenues are as divided as the country.

I don’t want to live in a world where only Calgon can take me away. Especially since then we’d have to debate showers vs. baths

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Writing Angry: Celebrities, Supergirl, and Political Creep

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