#tommy really looked at buck and just couldn't say no

[bibuckkinard]

Take off and fly and dive right in

Heya! This is for @bucktommyweek's getting-to-know-you event, though it's probably stretching the whole prompt quite a bit. I just couldn't help myself with some self indulgent fluff. I hope you guys like it.

Title from Blind for Love by American Authors

Bucktommy - Words: 1.3k - Rating: G - Complete

He’s exhausted when he knocks on Evan’s apartment door after a long, miserable shift. He’d briefly thought about calling Evan just to say he couldn’t make it, but honestly, seeing him is the highlight of any day, so he didn’t. That’s proven even more true when Evan opens his door in an apron that he knows drives him a little crazy every time he wears it. He looks beautiful as usual, eyes bright, hair curly, smile wide and Tommy feels his own lips curling up almost against his will. “Hey, babe! Dinner’s alm-what the hell happened?” Tommy frowns and gets a twinge of pain in his eye and remembers. Oh. Oops. Evan ushers him inside and onto a stool at the island as Tommy explains, “Forgot about that. A pissed-off guy at a scene took a swing at me. I meant to text you about it but it was call after call after call and I just didn’t get a chance. Hey, it smells good in here.” Evan rummages around his freezer and returns with a bag of frozen peas, gently setting it against Tommy’s eye. “Sorry,” he says, rubbing a thumb along Tommy’s cheekbone. “Oh, uh, I found a recipe for a sweet-and-sour meatloaf I thought we could try.” Since they’d started dating, Tommy’s learned first-hand that Evan loves to cook, but it’s all about being able to share his cooking with others that makes him really happy. Six months in and they spend more nights in than out and Tommy loves it. Actually, he loves all of it, the nights in, the nights out, the days and nights he gets to spend in Evan’s presence. It feels like every day, he manages to learn something new about him and he never wants that to end.

Or: Tommy's learned a lot of things about Evan in the last six months, that he likes to cook and take care of those he cares about is certainly one of them. Tommy, well, Tommy's long since realized that Evan himself is Tommy's new favorite anything.

Read the rest on Ao3

Tag list:

@desert--moonchild, @sazzynatural, @multishippinghussy, @mmso-notlikethat, @tommy-kinard-buckley,

@sunnywithachanceofbi, @sleepywinchesters, @buck-up-buckley, @manifestingchaoticvibes, @corvid-cryptidd

@lbltpsmspenguin, @theotherbuckley, @cliophilyra

[hippolotamus]

BuckTommy text posts 2/?

[chronicowboy]

Buck tucks them away in a corner when the mingling begins. They're stood far too close to be decent, Buck pressed up against the hard lines of his date with little care for anything besides being close, close, close. But in his defence, Tommy had taken his turnout coat off somewhere along the way which means he's stood there in a too-tight LAFD tee straining against his biceps and those suspenders Buck has always found more than a little maddening. So, really, it's only right to tuck his hands beneath one of the straps to pull Tommy even closer. And Tommy goes easily, smiling wide enough that it brightens his whole face as he presses Buck a little more firmly into the wall at his back.

"That was good. That was really good, right?" Buck breathes, his own smile making his cheeks ache.

He's horny, yeah, his boyfriend is incredibly hot. And, Jesus, the noise he'd made in the lobby—Buck can't wait to wring more of those noises from him. Mostly, Tommy just looks so stunningly happy to be there with him. So, yeah, he's a little amped up. But he's mostly just giddy. No, happy. He's just happy. Because everyone he loves knows who he is, knows who he's with. And he's just really fucking happy.

"How do you think they knew?" Buck asks then, still a little breathless just from Tommy's closeness, from the way he ducks just a little so their noses brush like they're in their own little bubble. "Like they all just seemed to know. I didn't even get to introduce you as my date." Tommy's eyes do something then, the crinkles at the corners smoothing out as they melt into something so fond Buck's stomach somersaults with it. "I mean, Hen I get. Her gaydar is killer. Like astounding. But Chimney?" Buck's eyebrows furrow, but it couldn't be called a frown for the smile still tugging at his lips. "Do you think he just saw how happy I was—"

"Evan," Tommy says softly. Buck snaps his mouth shut at the look on Tommy's face, all indulgence, downright smitten, if Buck had to take a guess it's probably the same look reflected on his own face.

Tommy reaches up to cup his face, swiping gentle, reverent thumbs over Buck's stubbled cheeks, smile twitching with bitten-back amusement. He pulls his hands away then, freshly cleaned palms coming away sooty.

"Oh," Buck murmurs, face flooding with heat. So, that's how they knew. Makes sense.

"I'm sure they saw how happy you were too." Tommy nudges their noses together again, a gentle little nuzzle that makes Buck's body fizz from head to toes, but there's something hesitant to it that has his eyes flickering back and forth between Tommy's. "You're happy, yeah?"

"Yeah." Buck nods just to feel their noses brush again. "Really, really unbelievably happy, Tommy."

And if Tommy's smile had been beautiful before, this one is radiant as the fucking sun. Buck almost wants to shield his eyes from it, except he doesn't. Not at all. He wants to map every inch of it and remember it forever.

"Good," Tommy breathes out. "Good, that's really good." One of his big hands finds Buck's hip, settles there and squeezes just tight enough to make Buck fizz again. "I'm happy too."

Oh.

Oh.

That's nice. That's really fucking nice.

They have to get out of this very crowded hallway immediately.

Buck lets his smile shift into a smirk and sways forward into Tommy's space. He doesn't look at Tommy's eyes as he does it, zeroed in on those lips that Buck could happily spend the rest of his life getting to know inside and out.

"Hm," Buck hums, pushing far enough forward that Tommy stumbles back a step. "We should probably go and get cleaned up, huh?" He extracts himself from Tommy's arms with only the slightest bit of difficulty, leaving one hand wrapped around his suspenders to drag Tommy along with a raised eyebrow.

Buck isn't entirely sure, but he think there's a little bit of pink underneath the soot on Tommy's face. It makes him even happier.

[firewasabeast]

The Fight

Tommy calmed himself before he walked into the station. Closed his eyes and did the breathing technique he'd learned in therapy years ago.

They needed to talk about this. He couldn't handle it if something happened during Buck's shift and the last words they had spoken to each other were in anger.

He spotted Buck fairly quickly. He was in the middle of a workout, sitting on a bench and lifting weights. Although it looked like he was mostly talking to Eddie.

Eddie, who was standing in front of him, nodding his head as Buck spoke.

Eddie eyed Tommy first. “Buck,” he said in the middle of Buck's rant.

“-and I- I don't think that's fair, Eddie. It's not fair of him to- to treat me like I'm a child-”

“Buck,” Eddie repeated, louder this time.

Buck groaned. “What?”

Eddie pointed behind him. “Tommy.”

Buck froze, then slowly turned to see Tommy standing behind him, staring at him. After a brief glance, Buck cast his eyes downward.

“Hey, man,” Eddie greeted. Buck rolled his eyes.

“Hey, Eddie,” Tommy replied. “Mind if I talk to Evan for a second?”

“Nope. I'll be upstairs.”

Tommy watched as Eddie headed upstairs, waiting until he was out of earshot to turn back to Buck. “What are you doing here, Evan?” he asked.

Buck placed the weights he had resting on his thighs down on the ground. “Working.”

“Your shift doesn't even start for another twelve hours.”

Buck got up and began placing weight plates on the barbell. “I asked Bobby if I could do a twenty-four instead. He said yes.”

“You literally told me two days ago that they weren't allowing overtime right now.”

“Did you really come all the way here to keep fighting with me?”

“First of all, I'm not the one who started the fight,” Tommy said, stepping closer, “and I'm not the one who can't look their boyfriend in the eyes.”

Buck stopped messing with the barbell and glared up at Tommy. His eyes were red, although Tommy couldn't tell if it was from crying or rage. “Better?” he asked bitingly.

“Yeah, actually, it is. It's a great improvement from you walking out on me this morning.”

Buck crossed his arms defensively. “There wasn't anything left to say.”

“I strongly disagree. We've both talked about this before, Evan. How you don't like the feeling of people walking out on you. How it scares you, makes you worry. Did you forget I told you the same thing? How it reminds me of what my dad did to my mom and me over and over again?”

Tommy swore he could see a twinge of guilt flash through Buck's eyes, but it was quickly replaced with more anger.

He moved closer to Tommy. “I wasn't going to sit at your place and be berated for however long you decided to yell at me-”

“I was not yelling.”

“-for doing my job.”

Now it was Tommy's turn to fill with a new wave of rage. He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it back, pursing his lips as he thought over his words. “You were not doing your job, Evan,” Tommy spoke slowly, carefully. “You made a bad decision that could have gotten you killed.”

Buck scoffed. “Danger is part of the job, Tommy. I thought you of all people would understand that.”

Tommy felt like pulling his hair out. They'd had this whole argument a few hours earlier. No matter what he said, he couldn't seem to get through to Buck. “You ran into a burning building without your gear, Evan! There were other firefighters there, but you just ran in! You could have died!”

“But I didn't! God, Tommy, you're acting like I'm a baby! I've been doing this for years; I know what I'm capable of!”

Tommy brought a hand to his forehead, pressing against his temple. This was pointless. “I don't even know why I came here,” he said with a shrug. He gave Buck one last glance before turning to leave.

“Still don't know why you're angry at me for saving someone's life!” Buck called out to him as he headed for the door.

The words made Tommy turn on his heels. “You really don't know why I'm angry with you?!” he asked. The question came out harsher than he intended.

Buck stood his ground. “No, I don't!”

“Unbelievable!” Tommy let out a humorless laugh. “Because I love you, Evan!” he exclaimed. “I love you so damn much! So, yeah, it makes me a little angry when I see that you aren't in this as much as I am. That you don't love yourself enough to care if you come back home!”

Buck felt like his heart was beating out of his chest. It took him a second to find his voice again. “You... You love me?”

“Of course I do, Evan.” Tommy spoke as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Have for quite a while now.”

Buck moved closer to him. “You don't think I- I'm in it as much as you?”

Tommy let out a deep breath. “I didn't mean it like that,” he said, his voice calmer now. “I just meant... I always try my damndest to make it back to you, every shift. Every call I go on, you're in the front of my mind. Be safe for Evan, stay focused for Evan, make it home because Evan will be there waiting. And I don't expect you to love me back or anything like that, but it would be nice to know that you try to make it home to me too.”

“I do,” Buck replied earnestly. “I do try, Tommy. I- I, when I was on that call, I ran back in because of you.”

Any anger left in Tommy's body was replaced with confusion. “What?”

“The guy I went in for, his- his boyfriend was yelling for him. He was panicked, like he- he would go insane if something had happened to him. All I could think about was you. How I'd go crazy if you were in a burning building and I- I couldn't get to you. I couldn't think of doing this life without you, Tommy. So, I ran in. And, I mean, you can ask Bobby, I'm not careless like that anymore, not like I used to be. And I do love you, Tommy. I love you so much it scares me. I promise I'm in this with yo-”

Before Buck could even process it, Tommy had cleared the space between them. He brought his hands to Buck's face pulled him in for a kiss.

Buck couldn't help the surprised moan that escaped him as Tommy pressed himself even closer. Buck grabbed onto Tommy's shirt, tugging on it like he was desperate for more.

It wasn't until tongues got involved that there was the sound of a throat being cleared behind them.

They stopped, both breathing heavily, then turned back to see the rest of the team watching them from upstairs.

“I knew you two lovebirds would work it out," Eddie said with a smirk on his face.

Chimney sniffed, earning him looks from the others. “I'm a sucker for romance,” he explained.

“I tried to get them to back off,” Hen defended. “I mean, not very hard, but I did try.”

Bobby simply smiled down at them. “Buck, your shift doesn't start until tonight. Go home.”

And well, they weren't gonna argue with that.

[princessfbi]

bucktommy + “come here”

Bucktommy

"Come here."

No matter how many times Tommy did it, Buck didn't think he'd ever get used to the slight thrill that rushed through him when Tommy's fingers tucked under his chin and lifted his head.

He just wished it was under different circumstances. The wide worry in the cobalt blue that Buck could've sworn were one eyelash bat away from sweeping him up like a hurricane turned icy and hard in an instant. Fury rippled through Tommy's expression as his movements turned stilted and uncompromising, shifting Buck's chin further up and to the side so he could get a better view of the bruises. The same bruises he'd been hoping to put off from showing his boyfriend for as long as possible.

But after three months of going slow before becoming official, there wasn't much Buck could hide from his boyfriend these days.

It was usually something he loved. Tommy made him feel seen in a way he didn't know he wanted to be seen until one night in his kitchen during quiet confessions and a similar instance of Tommy's fingers tucked under his chin.

Tommy wasn't kissing him then though. In fact, besides the firm weight of his fingers, he looked almost... devastated. Resigned.

"He did this to you?" It was a question even if Tommy didn't say it like it was. Buck pulled away from the prop of Tommy's fingers and ducked his chin down as he cut his eyes to the floor.

"It's not a big deal." He tried to step back so the lie wouldn't land on Tommy and stain him too. But Tommy's hands, his big beautiful hands, curled over his waist and pulled him back to him.

"Evan!" Tommy's eyes flashed with something Buck couldn't quite catch but that was probably because he was still too busy being starstruck by the way Tommy said his name.

He loved how Tommy said his name. Like it mattered. Like it was important. The only other people who ever managed to handle the weight of his name without the normal strain had been Maddie and Eddie and they had witnessed to all the ways life had added more pressure to the load.

Tommy said his name like it was effortless.

Still, Tommy sounded upset and that was the last thing he wanted to do so he shook his head and met his gaze again.

"It's really nothing. I should've been watching where the hose line was."

Tommy's brow arched and Buck could see he didn't believe him. "The hose line? Seriously?"

Buck leaned into Tommy's hold and settled his hands on his chest, rubbing up and down so Tommy knew that Buck was fine. Really. He was fine.

"I clipped my face on an open compartment door. Hen checked me out. Nothing's broken. I promise that I'm fine. It's just a little bruise. It's nothing I can't handle."

Anger flared in Tommy's expression again as his jaw ticked. "You shouldn't have to."

And no, he shouldn't. Buck should have been coming home from a shift where his muscles were sore but his heart and stomach were full from another shift in the greatest job he'd ever had where Bobby was his captain and they had family dinners that didn't feel like hostage situations.

But everything would get fixed. Bobby would figure how to get back to his team and they would be waiting for him. He had to believe that.

Buck thought about pretending like he didn't see exactly what had taken root in Tommy's worry. But Tommy wasn't the only one who could see things other's couldn't.

"Baby," Buck said as he cupped his cheek. "You got out."

"He's doing this to you because of me." Tommy bit out.

"He's doing this because we aren't scared of him." Buck corrected. "None of us are."

They'd all been practically daring Gerrard to suspend them. Hen had been the first to point out how it wouldn't be so easy to get rid of them now that the chief had made a media frenzy of their crew. Gerrard may have been in charge but they didn't bend like they used to under the sharp oppression of his command. They clashed into a bruising, straining stalemate that didn't have an end date anytime soon.

But the team would hold. It's what Bobby would've wanted.

That didn't mean Gerrard didn't make their life a living hell.

Tommy frowned as he let out a long breath from his nose, his hands coming up to circle Buck's wrists so he could kiss the bolt of his palms.

"Ice," Tommy said decisively. "You need ice so I can kiss you properly."

Buck grinned despite the pain that pulsed along his cheek where he was sure the purpling bruise looked worse than it was.

Gerrard could say or do whatever he wanted to Buck. It wouldn't change the fact that, at the end of the day, Buck had Tommy to come home to and could kiss wherever he wanted. And Buck would do whatever it took to keep Tommy away from the dark cloud that was his former boss. The same boss who made him so afraid to be seen that he'd hid for years.

Buck would take a million bruises to the face before he ever let that happen.

[chobani-flip]

meeting friends and family @bucktommypositivityweek

a bit of bucktommy fluff that unfolded as i wrote it

--

putting the car in park, buck checked his watch. shit, he was late. he was so late. he eyed the bags on the seat next to him and wondered if he should have bought the other two types of muffin as well. but he was so late, and today of all days, that he seriously doubted if tommy's love of cake might work in bribing his forgiveness.

but it hadn't been his fault! he couldn't just stand by when kathy went into labor right there next to the chicken nuggets! or it might have been kate, buck wasn't sure he heard her equally pregnant friend (mallory?) right the first time she'd moaned their names at him before thrusting two shopping carts containing two toddlers into buck's free hand once he'd introduced himself as a firefighter and dialed 911. then she proceeded to lean against the walgreens freezer and talk both herself and her friend through lamaze breathing, while buck clutched his phone with his shoulder and gave directions to sue blevins and at the same time tried to keep the toddler in the green bear tshirt from biting the toddler in pink, taking turns smiling encouragingly into their crying faces and the equally distressed but less snotty face of the walgreens manager.

and once he'd calmed the kids down a bit and nowak and wyatt from the 127 arrived, he couldn't just leave them to go to the hospital on their own. luckily, it didn't take very long for melanie's (?) partner to arrive, but still.

so now buck was late, by about two hours, on the evening that he and tommy had offered to babysit jee for the first time together.

remembering his own complete exhaustion after he'd spent an afternoon running around his niece that first time maddie had him watch her, buck was sure he should have bought those extra muffins.

buck didn't really know what he expected to find when he opened the door to his loft, but it definitely wasn't his niece sitting in her high chair at the kitchen island, quietly nibbling a carrot stick and staring at his boyfriend as though he was a new paw patrol character.

at a second glance, buck closed the door behind him and felt a bit like doing the same.

because tommy was holding a large piece of cucumber and two leaves of ice berg lettuce on the other side of the kitchen island and...

"...and like we said, because newton's third law of motion says that any action has an equal and opposite reaction, like when-"

"when i jump on the trampoline!" jee pulled the carrot out of her mouth to yell in excitement as tommy grinned at her in approval. buck felt a little faint.

"exactly, princess! and when the airfoil here," tommy shook the lettuce, "splits the air, the air pressure on top is smaller than on the bottom, that makes the air move faster downward and that generates lift!"

"lift!" jee yun cheered and danced in her chair, and buck had no idea whether she actually understood the lesson in beginner aviation just now, or if she just liked how tommy nodded approvingly at her as he handed her a wedge of cucumber. buck watched in disbelief as she rammed it into her mouth like a little chipmunk and grinned wide and green at his boyfriend, who couldn't possibly appreciate it for the miracle it was.

buck had been forced to pinky promise her never to include cucumbers in any of her snacks, "not even hided in yummy dip!", because they were "wet and ew".

although buck had to admit, he too would do (and had done) a lot of crazy things in order to get tommy to look and smile at him, so he couldn't blame jee yun too much for her change of heart.

he must have make some sort of a sound, because in the next instant jee was wriggling on her chair so much it was a wonder it didn't topple with her in it, and tommy was throwing his vegetable airplane model back into the salad bowl as though he'd been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

"uncle buck! uncle buck!" jee yun yelled, interrupting his stunned staring. "this is uncle tommy!" she added when he came up to her and at her request, lifted her into his arms.

"yeah?" was the only thing buck could think to say, as he pressed a scratchy kiss against her cheek, and turned to stare some more at his gorgeous boyfriend the tips of whose ears were turning a lovely shade of pink.

"he's a pilot!" jee yun continued to cheerfully shout in his ear.

"no way!" buck gasped.

"way way!" she yelled, and then went on to explain very seriously that she shouldn't jump on the bed because she didn't have a "jet-gin" or an airfoil and so she wouldn't fly because she couldn't "genate lift". buck nodded, also very seriously, and agreed that uncle tommy was "so cool!"

"the coolest," he said as he watched tommy start to put away the groceries.

buck had a feeling that the title of the favorite uncle that he had won from albert by knowing which brand of dino chicken nuggets to buy had just been stolen but he couldn't say he minded very much.

[dorkydiaz]

CAN I GO WHERE YOU GO? 920 words | bucktommy | 7x06 coda a/n: look it me! i wrote something :P just a soft little thing that i couldn't stop thinking about <3 idek how long it has been since i published something episode related lol so be kind and gentle if you please<3 title is kinda just what fit best lol, enjoy!

Buck twirls his niece around as music plays quietly over a speaker, barely loud enough to hear over the quiet chatter. He swings her up and deposits her next to her newly-wed parents, and they look perfect. Buck remembers the reception of her first wedding, his cheeks didn’t hurt from smiling then, they do now, and by the looks of it so do Maddie’s. 

“You might want to–” she points toward the chair in the corner that holds his beast of a boyfriend, a bottled water coming dangerously close to slipping from his exhaustion-induced slack grip. 

“I should get him home, the adrenaline has worn off. I love you both so much, and you,” he ruffles Jee’s hair and leans in for a group hug, placing a kiss in his sister's hair. If he thinks too hard about everything he might cry, so he leaves unsaid and squeezes her tight hoping she understands. 

He takes the water bottle from Tommy’s hands and stands between his legs, gently cupping his cheek, “Hey, you are exhausted, let’s get you home. I’ll drive you.” 

And Tommy looks up at him through his eyelashes– how had Buck not noticed those before now? 

“You don’t have to– you should stay here. I’m sure Maddie–” 

“What she wants is for me to get you home safely, and visiting hours are almost over anyway.”

He can see Tommy trying to come up with a rebuttal, his mouth opening and closing as he tries to say something and then gives up.

Buck grabs Tommy’s turnout coat from the back of the chair, folding it over his arm and taking Tommy’s hand in his. 

“Congratulations again you two,” Tommy says as enthusiastically as he can before they turn toward the door.

—

Buck is awkwardly sitting at a table in the common area of Harbor. It feels weird to be in another station without his reason for being there within sight. Tommy had assured him that it was okay for him to sit, and if anyone gave him trouble to tell them that he was there with him. 

“Buckley! What are you doing here?” a familiar voice nearly makes him jump out of his seat. 

“Lu-Lucy! Hi.” 

She stands behind the chair across from him, leaning on her elbows on the top of the chair. And she actually waits for him to answer. 

“I-I’m waiting for Tommy. Had to swing by to drop off his turnouts and get his bag.”

Her brow crinkles a little and she cocks her head, “his shift ended hours ago?” 

“He uhhh, he came to Maddie and Chimney’s wedding. He’s pretty exhausted so I’m driving him home.” 

“He went to a wedding after that fire? In his turnouts?”

“It was at the hospital, wild story really. And I asked him to be there, so he was.” he blushes a little as he watches her do a little math. 

“Donato! Are you bullying Evan?” Buck can hear the smile on Tommy’s lips as he feels his hand land on his shoulder. He looks up at his boyfriend, and Tommy leans down, giving him a light kiss on his cheek. He looks a little brighter after rinsing off in the station showers and changing back into his Henley. 

“I was wondering why you had table privileges,” she smiles. “So, Chim finally got hitched huh, tell him and Maddie congrats for me.”

“Will do,” Buck smiles at her, and she walks away toward what he assumes is the snack cabinet. “Let’s get out of here and you into bed huh?” 

“You read my mind.” 

—

There’s a stillness in the car as they sit in Tommy’s driveway. 

“Evan, come inside. You’ve had a long stressful day too.” 

It’s like Tommy is inside his head, he doesn’t want to be alone tonight, not when he didn’t have to be. 

“And if the texts you sent me last night are any indication, you also did it all while hungover which I’m sure wasn’t all that pleasant. And, besides, you still owe me at least one dance.” 

“You are practically falling asleep sitting up and you want to dance?” 

“It’s what I was promised.” 

TOmmy reaches over the console between them, turning Buck’s face toward him, leans in and kisses him in earnest. Not quite as intense as their greeting earlier and not as gentle as their first. “Just come inside please,” he says just above a whisper against his lips. 

“Okay.” 

—

Buck takes in Tommy’s little house, it’s cozy with some of its years showing. 

“You can move past the entryway Evan. Just take your shoes off.” 

“Oh,” he replies softly, barely having noticed that he was slightly frozen. He toes off his shoes.

“C’mere,” Tommy holds out his hand, a song that Buck doesn’t know the name of softly drifting from the speakers. He lands in his boyfriend’s arms and it feels like it’s exactly where he is supposed to be. One hand on his neck, the other clasped together in Tommy’s, his other hand resting on his waist. It’s mostly quiet as they sway in the middle of the small living room. 

“You know, I never really got the whole hot firefighter thing until I saw you walk through those doors?” 

“You really are adorable.” Tommy smiles.

“Thank you for today. It means a lot that you did really try your damndest and succeeded.” He says earnestly. 

“Of course. It was important to you.” 

And Buck can’t help but kiss him for that, and he does, because he can. 

[roy-kents]

@canonbibuck hey. remember i said if we see tommy pick buck up and kiss him at the door i WILL explode btw? and you said i think my heart will stop? i couldn't get it out of my head. i hope you live near an AED.

"hey evan, you ready to go?" tommy says, his mouth creasing at the corner where he smiles and buck wants. wants to press his lips to the corner of tommy's mouth, wants to learn every curve and crease. he finds himself wanting to be pressed into a counter or a wall or even his fucking front door and thoroughly kissed. he wants to be held and he wants it to be tommy doing the kissing and that's a heady feeling he can't quite wrap his head around.

"evan?" tommy says, snapping him out of his head.

"sorry!" he breathes, tucking his phone into his back pocket. "got a tendency to get in my own head a bit."

tommy chuckles, an amused thing that sends sparks flying down to buck's toes. "so i've noticed." he rakes his eyes over buck then, his smile turning more smirk at the corners. "you look great."

"so do you!" buck rushes out, his bottom lip caught between his teeth. and it's true. tommy's dressed in a loose-fitting olive green shirt that makes him look massive and a pair of dark blue skinny jeans which cling to his thighs sinfully, and now that buck's properly seeing all of this, it's...well—

it's honestly driving him insane.

tommy's eyes crinkle, and he thinks about telling maddie he wasn't going to act like a 14 year old girl anymore but he has to physically fight down the urge to giggle. the older man steps into his space, his hand coming up and his thumb gently tugging buck's bottom lip from between his teeth.

"wha—"

tommy cuts him off with a kiss. it blows his mind how good this is — to just kiss with zero intention behind it. just kissing for the sake of kissing is something he hasn't really done a lot of, and he's still new to the whole kissing a man thing, but the way tommy kisses is unlike anything else he's experienced. buck actually feels smaller in tommy's grasp, and it's not overwhelming like he expected. it doesn't feel wrong or bad or anything any of the websites he's spent the past couple of days looking at warned him about. it—

it actually feels really nice.

tommy kisses buck with a slow, soft drag of his lips, his stubble scratching lightly against buck's chin. buck's hands eventually take up residence on tommy's chest, the steady thump thump of his heart a grounding presence before he floats off onto some other plane of existence.

they part eventually, their foreheads resting against one another as buck's eyes flutter open. "what was that for?"

tommy's smile is wide and unashamed as he shrugs, stealing a quick peck from buck. "just because."

he steps back then, taking buck's hand in his, and the slide of their calloused palms together sends another tingle down buck's spine that he chases after. he never wants to stop chasing it, actually. this feeling? the full exhales he's been able to take since tommy flipped his world on its head? the sheer wanting and feeling wanted?

buck's hand tightens around tommy's as they step towards the door. he's not letting any of it slip from his grasp. not anymore.

[shehungthemoon]

Bucktommy Fic prompts: first vacation or snowy cabin vibes

first 118 bbq

Buck rescues a kitten from a tree and keeps it #catdads

Buck telling Tommy he was a sperm donor with zero context like ‘oh yeah biologically I have a kid’ and walking off leaving Tommy like ???

First Christmas together

Idk if it’s your vibe but something relating to the ring cutter?

Babysitting jee

Tommy realising ‘random facts with Buck’ is a thing

Flying lessons

Sorry I have a lot of thoughts and zero ability to write lollll

Oh, anon. I saw "babysitting jee" and could not get the image of Tommy looking at dollar store kids coloring books out of my head. And here we are 🖤

"Are you sure you're okay with it?" Buck asked into his phone, balancing it in between his shoulder and ear as he unpacked his locker for the night. "It's just that Tommy and I don't really get a lot of time to see each other with our schedules and everything, and—"

"Buck," Chim interrupted, "Yes I'm sure. I've known Tommy longer than you have, unless you've somehow forgot that since the last time you begged me for old, embarrassing photos of the man."

"Yeah yeah," Buck mumbled, "I know I know, sorry." Chim made a satisfied hum. Buck finished zipping up his bag. "Bet I know him better though."

Chimney started squawking indignantly over the phone. Buck grinned into his chest.

So, Buck invited Tommy to come babysit Jee with him that night, nervous the whole time he typed the text.

-i know it's not really a great date setting

He typed after he sent the initial message.

-totally ok to say no

He was stupid to be nervous. The reply came almost immediately.

-Are you kidding? I've been waiting to meet that girl ever since Chimney sent me those first pictures.

-Of course I'll be there

---

Tommy met him at Buck's door with a sweet grin and a bunch of coloring books in his hand. Buck couldn't do anything but stare at him for a moment and smile back.

"Hi."

"Hi."

Buck wondered if those butterflies in his stomach would ever go away. When Tommy leaned forward and pressed a gentle, quick kiss onto his lips, Buck came to the conclusion that there was no possible way they ever would.

"I brought these," Tommy said as he walked into the apartment, shaking the coloring books in the air and looking just a little bashful about it. "Didn't want to show up empty handed but I figured wine wasn't the right call for the venue."

Buck chuckled and shut the door behind him. "You definitely figured right." He pointed over toward the media area. "Wanna meet the star of the show?"

Tommy grinned. "More excited to see her than you, really."

Buck scoffed with feigned-offense and pinched Tommy's arm before moving his hand to the small of Tommy's back, pressing him gently toward where Jee was set up in front of his couch.

Jee looked up from her toys with wide eyes when they came into view. "Hey hey, princess, I got someone for you to meet!" Buck held his free hand out to point at his boyfriend. "This is Tommy. Tommy, this is Jee-Yun." She kept still in contemplation and made a humming noise up at them.

Tommy crouched down and gave her a little wave, and Buck would have laughed at the sight of such a big man making himself so small if it weren't the most endearing thing he'd seen in ages.

"Hi Jee-Yun. It's really nice to meet you," Tommy said with a quiet voice Buck'd never heard before. Jee just kept staring over at him with blinking, assessing eyes. "I really like your sparkly dress," he continued, and that seemed to do it. Jee broke out into a wide, squinty-eyed smile and let out one of those little kid laughs that melted hearts.

"Sequins," Jee said brightly; or at least tried to say, there was definitely an 's' sound in there somewhere.

The floor became their home for the next few hours, Jee happily adjusting to her new friend and toddling between the two of them, carting markers and dolls and pieces of Goldfish back and forth across the carpet. The two of them got easily talked into playing Barbies for one memorable twenty minute stretch, in which Buck learned quite a few things about Tommy's sense of fashion.

"You can't put those rain boots on Tiffany when she's wearing that dress, they don't go at all," Buck said contemptuously.

Tommy rolled his eyes. "Why not? There's yellow in the belt." He squinted and held Tiffany up a little closer to his face. "Sort of."

Buck groaned painfully. "They're way to clunky for that outfit! And it's not even raining, Tommy! Why would she be wearing rain boots?"

Tommy blinked at him for a second before slowly tilting his head up toward the ceiling. Of his very-much-indoors living room. Buck groaned louder.

Jee solved the problem easily by shoving the rain boots onto Tiffany's arms and yelling out Gloves! Buck was a little miffed he didn't think of that first.

Dolls, juice-box breaks, Buck chasing Jee around the first floor making firetruck sounds and sending Tommy into stitches from where he was still sprawled in front of the TV—the evening passed all too quickly and with more laughing than either of them had done in weeks. Which of course meant that by the time that Maddie and Chimney texted that they were going to be heading back soon, both grown men were beyond pooped and covered in more sticky substances than was probably recommended by most health codes. Jee had not decided to take it easy on the new guy, that's for sure.

Buck had handed a squirming Jee over to Tommy a bit ago while he got his niece's stuff all organized back together in her bag. By the time he'd gotten the rest of her leftover snacks out of the fridge and made a passable effort at tidying up the counters, the excitable sounds of Tommy and Jee's earlier conversations had died down and Buck decided it was about time he headed over to check up on them.

He was greeted with the sight of the two of them tucked into the couch, Jee set up on Tommy's lap with one of her new coloring books in her hand and an assortment of markers wedged into the crook of Tommy's bent knee in easy reach beside her. She was quietly and happily plugging away at one of the drawings—a startlingly pink giraffe, Buck thought he could make out—scribbling nonsensically across the page with an intently closed fist. Tommy had an arm resting along one of her sides to keep her from falling off, but the man himself was very much not paying too much attention anymore. His head was lolled back against the cushion, eyelids fluttering as he caught a few needed minutes of rest. Buck wasn't worried; he knew by the way Tommy's finger was still drawing lazy shapes along the frills of Jee's sparkly dress that Tommy'd be awake and aware in an instant if she needed him.

Buck stole a moment to just stand there and watch without either of them noticing. He took it in.

Tommy. His boyfriend. With a baby tucked happy against his chest.

Unbelievably small compared to him yet being held with all the gentleness in the world. His boyfriend and his niece. Both safe and content, on his couch.

Something tugged warm and tight behind Buck's ribs. The feeling almost toppled him over, dragged the breath from his lungs, love, pride, want.

He could have been sick with it.

He quietly padded over and lowered himself onto the cushion next to them before he could get too overwhelmed. He couldn't help himself. He leaned over and pressed a lingering kiss against where he knew Tommy's dimple was, and soon enough felt Tommy's smile underneath his lips.

"You having a good time there, Jee?" Buck asked quietly, pulling back just enough to see her. She twisted around to nod empathetically up at him.

"Uncle Tommy got me a jungle," she said, holding her booklet up with a grin, and Buck let out a surprised noise.

"Uncle Tommy, huh?" He teased, poking Tommy in the ribs and looking at him fondly. Tommy swatted his hand away and then grabbed his fingers before he could retreat too far, and Buck let him tug him in close and rest their now tangled hands against his side. Buck settled in sideways against the back of the couch and tried to push down the fondness bubbling up inside him before it burst.

"She said it earlier," Tommy said, brow furrowed just a bit. Buck wanted to press it out with his thumb. "It felt mean to correct her." Buck just hummed and squeezed his hand until he'd relaxed back into the couch again.

Tommy let him rest his forehead against his shoulder, and the three of them whiled away the next quarter hour laughing at Jee's animal noises and picking crazy colors for tigers and monkeys and toucans.

Maddie and Chimney showed up before for too long, greeting Tommy with just as much warmth as they did Buck, especially after they saw just how adamant Jee was about hanging off of Tommy's calf and not letting him go even in the face of Goldfish bribes.

Maddie and Chimney finally got her detached with the promise of an extra bedtime story, and in a flurry of side-hugs and handshakes and little versions of such for Jee, they said their goodbyes. Tommy waved them out the door with an arm around Buck's shoulders.

They stumbled up to bed that night too tired for much else other than sleep, Buck's heart skipping a beat in his chest every time he caught Tommy's eye or felt him brush against him as they moved around the loft. Tommy's strong arms wrapped around him as they drifted off. Buck pressed himself hard back into Tommy's chest and fell asleep to the feeling of feather-light kisses pressed against the back of his neck and a heart beating alongside his own.

[wikiangela]

several sentence sunday

tagged by @hippolotamus

sooo bucktommy won me over, i couldn't resist anymore 🙈 so here's a bit of them after their date lol (also, I didn't get the Tommy hype before but after seeing him everywhere for two days... I get it now 🥵)

___

"(...) We should do this again.” Tommy says, turning fully towards Buck, and Buck’s eyes immediately find his lips. He can’t wait to kiss him again, and this would be the time, at the end of the date, wouldn’t it?

“We should.” Buck nods, licks his lips, eyes darting up to Tommy’s eyes. He’s smiling softly, just looking at Buck. “I-” he starts, and then thinks, fuck it, and this time he makes a move, as he leans across the console to grab Tommy’s chin, like he did Buck’s in his kitchen, and bring him in for a kiss. Tommy immediately reciprocates, and Buck melts against him, and then when Tommy’s calloused hand covers his cheek, it just feels so- so different, in the best way possible. This kiss lasts longer than the first one, each of them constantly coming back for more, but it’s as gentle and tender as that one. Buck loves it, and can’t help smiling into it. He wants more. “Hey.” Buck says, finally pulling away, licks his spit-covered lips nervously. “Do you- do you maybe wanna come in for a beer?” he asks shyly, and at Tommy’s surprised expression and raised eyebrow he realizes it might sound like he’s inviting him for more than a beer, and he panics again. “I- I- I mean, just a beer. And maybe- maybe more of this.” he pecks Tommy’s lips again, not able to resist a smile. “But just a beer. I don’t think I’m- But who knows, maybe-” he stumbles over his words, because the truth is, he wants Tommy, he wants… he wants so much, he wants to experience so much for the first time – it’s just that he’s not sure if it’s not too quick for this relationship, and for him.

“Evan.” Tommy interrupts, bringing his other hand up, now cradling Buck’s face in both, thumbs moving soothingly along Buck’s cheeks. “Your pace, remember? No pressure, no rush.”

“You’re really cool, you know that?” Buck whispers.

“So I keep hearing.” Tommy chuckles, and it’s adorable. He kisses Buck again, and the butterflies in Buck’s stomach go crazy. Fuck, he doesn't remember the last time he felt this giddy and excited and just light. “I’d love to come in for a beer.”

___

no pressure tags: @elvensorceress @thebravebitch @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @watchyourbuck @eowon @loserdiaz @evanbegins @ladydorian05 @wildlife4life @diazpatcher @lover-of-mine @monsterrae1 @thewolvesof1998 @neverevan @weewootruck @loveyouanyway @spagheddiediaz @rainbow-nerdss @epicbuddieficrecs @pirrusstuff @spotsandsocks @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @nmcggg @rogerzsteven @giddyupbuck @sunshinediaz @honestlydarkprincess @underwater-ninja-13 @exhuastedpigeon @911-on-abc @jesuisici33 @steadfastsaturnsrings @theotherbuckley @buddieswhvre @dangerpronebuddie @diazsdimples @daffi-990 @bidisasterbuckdiaz @fortheloveofbuddie @hoodie-buck @tizniz @your-catfish-friend

[madlori]

If the only thing you can lord over buddie is that bucktommy is canon, then you really didn't care at all about the ship.

7 seasons of being a family unit, being there for each other, having each other's back but hey! Here comes another underdeveloped love interest, but since it's a man this time, you don't care about Buck being stuck in the same hamster wheel, again, because he's kissing a man and that's hot 🙄

Also for all your doom and gloom about buddie not happening, do remember that Tommy/Eddie was an idea in Tim's mind at first, so Eddie can be read as queer, even if it's not in canon yet.

I guess you don't place much value on them being a family unit and always there for each other, and having each other's back...all of which is still true and will continue to BE true. But it's only important to you as a prelude to them kissing, right? It has no value in and of itself. I love their relationship. I love what they are to each other. But YOU are making me not want to see it, because every time they turn to each other, lean on each other, support each other, we have to listen to you shrieking BUDDIE CANON CONFIRMED or whatever, because to a certain genre of shipper (not all buddie shippers, etc) any interaction or feeling they have with each other exists only in service to the ship.

I swear to god, I'm gonna banish the phrase "hamster wheel" from y'all's mouths until I get an actual definition as to what you think it means, because from where I sit, to you it just means "he's with someone who's not Eddie." To me, it means that Buck continually fell bass-ackwards into relationships that weren't right for him, looking for something he wasn't even sure what it was. And heyyyyy, he's currently in a relationship that he actively chose and fought for, having learned something new and important about himself, with someone who makes him giddy and excited in a way we have never seen him be, who the people around him can see gives him contentment. But none of that matters, because it's not Eddie, and that is by definition his only appropriate partner, so he must still be on that hamster wheel. Also if we're going by creator intent here, Tim's said he wrote this relationship specifically to reflect Buck being off of it.

As for underdeveloped love interest? I wrote an entire ass essay about how MUCH we know about Tommy, and it's reams compared to anything we've ever known about Buck's girlfriends OR Eddie's current girlfriend who does not even have a last name. Tommy has been introduced in a way that integrates him with the 118, with multiple interests, a character arc of his own from his first appearance, a set of motivations and emotional arcs that are NOT about Buck, and something to actually offer in a relationship besides existing. Anyone saying he's underdeveloped is determined to read him as such, especially for the limited amount of time we've had him.

And I never said Eddie couldn't be read as queer. He can EASILY be read as queer. I said he WOULDN'T be. Those are two different things. If Tommy and Eddie had gotten together (which I give no more narrative weight to than Maddie and Eddie getting together, which was also a gleam in the eye at one point) I'd equally be saying that Buck would never be queer.

It's hilarious to me that I'm being accused of liking a ship because it's hot (it is, and I do, and that's...fine? there's nothing bad about that?) as if people enjoy Buddie because of the amorphous purity of it all and not at ALL because it's hot (it is and you should say so).

If my thoughts about this are so upsetting to you, just block me, dude. I promise I won't take it personally.

Also, just...learn to enjoy a ship whether it's canon or not. I've done it, we've all done it. It's not that hard, especially THIS ship, which has so much good stuff to it regardless of whether there's romance or not. Those of us who like Buck with Tommy are not taking away from you enjoying Buddie, or anyone doing so. It's not like...the State of Buddie will lose congressional representation if the population falls below a certain level. The existence of another ship does not affect yours.

[lonelychicago]

I've been listening to the prophecy by taylor and i have thoughts, so bare with me on this one.

some people might look at this thing like a superpower, like something cool to trick people with or scare the shit out of them.

tommy thinks of it more as a curse than anything else. a punishment from above— maybe he's done awful, terrible things in some pasts lives and now he's paying the consequences.

truth is, he doesn't know. he can guess, can try to feel his way through the dark like a lost, blind man, but he's probably never gonna know why he is the way he is, why he can see the things he sees.

it started around the time he was nine, he thinks. when he went to hug her grandma, and suddenly he had this vision— like a short movie playing in his head, of how his grandma would die.

tommy hugged her and then there it was in his mind, he could hear her heartbeat and saw her laying in bed, so calm and at peace in her sleep, when her heart slowly stops.

tommy remembers crying out, screaming, pulling away from her in fear, much to the confusion of everyone in his family. his grandma was okay! she was right there! no one believed him when he told them what he saw, what he felt.

(nana june died that very night, in her sleep. just like tommy predicted.)

tommy realized pretty quickly that this was not something he could share with anyone else. not when he ran into his teacher at the grocery store three weeks later and saw how the woman would die in a tragic car crash in just a couple of weeks. not when he kissed a boy for the very first time when he was sixteen and saw he would die from a freak accident at a football game, of all places— a fatal hit to the head would be the end of a life cut too short.

his life became a swirl of death and fear and loneliness.

he pulled away from everyone. what was the point anyway? if he knew the end of their stories? why get atta hed, get close, when he knew the specific details of their deaths and would have to bare that weight on his shoukders all on his own?

(he made the mistake once of falling in love when he was in college. with matthew— a guy who would die of old age, at ninety-five years old. at home, holding the hand of his husband... that was definitely noy tommy.

it was okay. he figured he could have some fun and enjoy whatever time he could. but it only earned him a broken heart and matthew calling him a freak when tommy explained why he couldn't say i love you to him, why he couldn't truly commit.

he has trusted matthew with his deepest secret, with this curse that tommy has no other choice but to live with it. and it ended up in tears and half the campus thinking he was a psycho.)

since then, tommy vowed to never make that mistake again. to keep his distance with people.

and he's been successful, for the most part. he has some friends, of course, but he doesn't let his relationships get too deep, keeping everyone at arm's length.

it's for the best, really.

and he's... not happy, but content. maybe. comfortable.

until evan buckley comes crashing into his life, figuratively and literally speaking.

the guy is— adorable.

tommy has no other word to describe him.

evan is energetic and enthusiastic, passionate about every single thing he says and does. he's reckless and loud and everything's tommy has soent a lifetime running away from.

when buck touches him for the first time, it sends electricity to every one of his nerves. it's intoxicating and amazing and warm, and tommy never wants it to end.

then, the curse kicks in. a little later than usual— as if mocking tommy, almost. teasing him with a tiny taste of what normal looks like and then reminding him he can never have it, not for real.

the first time buck touches him, it's at chimney's wedding— he's drunk and sweaty, cheeks pink and flushed and a boyish smile plastered on his face. he practically draps himself next to tommy's side, leans all his weight against him as he hums the lyrics of the song plahing in the background out of tune.

it's fun and heavenly for a couple of seconds, until tommy gets the vision.

buck in a month, maybe a month and a half. hanging from the firetruck ladder as the sky falls around him, lightning striking him right in the chest and making his heart stop.

[salty-autistic-writer]

For @bucktommypositivityweek Day 1: what they love most about each other

Just The Way You Are

The things Buck and Tommy love most about each other are - ironically - the things they are most insecure about.

His past experiences have taught Buck that people don’t like when he talks too much. Especially when he talks too much about a topic they are not interested in. Small talk is practical. It serves a purpose. People ask a few general questions until they can start to talk about themselves. They don’t want to hear 1000 facts about something very specific. So whenever Buck catches himself getting too excited while rambling, he apologizes and tries to stop himself. It’s fine. He can file the information away in some corner of his mind, telling it to himself later. He doesn’t want to be exhausting.

But when he says, “I’m sorry” after he notices he rambles to Tommy while they are having dinner, Tommy blinks in confusion and says, “What for? Go on.”

What for? Huh. That’s not the … usual reaction.

“I was rambling,” Buck states, confused. “Yeah. And I love to hear you ramble," Tommy says.

Buck's breath falters. Did he hear that right? “You … Really?! You like it?"

“I would never lie to you, Evan," Tommy says seriously. "This is one of the things I love about you most. Please don’t stop.”

Buck exhales shakily. Suddenly, he feels heavy and light at the same time. Are those actual tears in his eyes? Damn. Must be all the childhood trauma hitting him all at once. All the times that he felt like he was being too much while at the same time never being enough. All those moments in which he felt like he was talking into the void because no one really wanted to listen to what he had to say. The disappointment. The anger he directed at himself. Because, yeah, why couldn't he just shut up?!

“Evan? Are you alright?” Tommy asks, his voice now filling with worry. Buck nods and clears his throat. “Yeah. I’m fine. It’s just … Most people don’t react like you just did. They tell me I’m annoying or exhausting or they just give me subtle hints that I should stop, you know? A sigh. A twitch of their eye. Or when their smile gets too wide and too bright so you know exactly that they are just faking it.”

Tommy reaches out and takes Buck’s hand, gently squeezing it. “I see. I’m sorry they couldn’t appreciate you for being your true self. You never have to stop rambling to me. Now please tell me more about spiders, maybe it will help me with my very irrational fear of them.”

Buck chuckles. “Okay. So, uh, did you know that there are spiders who fling their hair at predators?” Tommy raises a brow. “No, I didn’t know that. And I have a feeling it won't help me with being scared of spiders. But go on. Sounds fascinating.” +++

His past experiences have taught Tommy that life essentially is a stage play. People have certain expectations. If you don’t fulfil them, it leads to confusion and irritation. Usually, people don’t want to hear or see the truth. They want to hear and see what they like and what fits their view of the world around them.

It’s normal to play a role and wear a mask, especially when you realize that being yourself leads to a lot of confusing moments. It’s kind of funny most people just assume he's super extrovert and confident, then react bewildered when he tells them his social battery is empty and no, he can’t go to another bar right now. He has to recharge. People look at him and see someone big, strong, and confident. Someone who knows what he wants and who he is. Someone who takes charge. Someone who takes care of others and protects them.

Then comes Evan and he doesn’t leave like the others did. Evan stays and time passes and Tommy realizes he has to take off his mask and stop playing a role because it would be unfair to his boyfriend. It’s a scary moment, really. Because there's still a chance that Evan will look at him differently. That he will leave eventually.

But no matter what Tommy reveals about himself, Evan smiles and says okay and saves the information in his mind so he can remember it later. And he does. He remembers. He remembers that Tommy likes to know the plan beforehand and isn’t fond of having his routine interrupted by a surprise. He remembers that Tommy has to recharge his social battery and needs space for that. He remembers that Tommy doesn’t like certain smells or textures because they physically make him sick. He remembers everything and he never says a bad word about it.

When Evan looks at him, he doesn’t see something he created in his head, he sees all the things Tommy told Evan about himself. He sees that Tommy likes to let go sometimes and that he likes to be taken care of as well, as long as he can trust someone enough. And he trusts Evan. With all the things he didn’t dare to tell other people. When he tells Evan that he usually doesn't get to be the little spoon in bed, Evan first curses Tommy's past partners in colourful ways, then says, "We can both be little and big spoons, depending on how we feel and what we need. And if neither of us wants to be a certain spoon, then we can just turn to face each other. Spoons can look at each other as well."

Sometimes Tommy looks at Evan and thinks: He’s too good to be real.

And then Evan wraps his arms around Tommy from behind, sighing against the back of Tommy’s neck, his breath warm and tickling, and he says, “This is one of the things I love most. That you trust me with this. That you trust me with you.”

Turns out you’re only insecure about certain things until you find the person who accepts you just the way you are.

[firewasabeast]

Buck is rubbing Tommy's bare chest for the first time. He has never really felt up a big muscular hairy chest before

It shouldn't feel this easy.

That's what Buck kept telling himself.

Yet, every step they took together was just that.

Easy.

Buck had never been with another man in any type of romantic way. He'd never felt the rough stubble of a two day old beard when he kissed someone. Never had calloused hands tilt his chin up into a kiss. Never had someone with bigger muscles than his own pull him close. Never felt another dick pressed up against his through the fabric of his jeans.

Certainly had never done the things he'd done tonight. Which led them to now, pressed up against each other, legs tangled together, Buck's chest tucked into Tommy's side. He rested a hand over Tommy's chest, feeling his heartbeat, pressing a kiss to his peck when Tommy hummed in contentment.

Buck had made dinner that night. They had planned to watch a movie afterward, but Tommy kept looking at him in that way and Buck couldn't help but forget about doing dishes or starting a movie when his mouth could be on Tommy's instead.

They'd each lost a layer of clothing by the time they made it up Buck's stairs and into the bedroom. Tommy had managed to mutter out a couple, “Are you sure?” and “Is this okay?” questions before Buck, with Tommy's dick in his hand, informed him it was all very much okay and he would let him know if anything changed.

But the look on Tommy's face when they moved just right, the way his abs became more defined when he'd suck in a breath, the noises he made when Buck licked over his nipples, how their bodies felt so perfect together in ways that Buck couldn't even describe. There was no way anything was going to change. No way he'd be stopping this from happening.

There should have been some awkwardness. Should have been fumbling and stuttering and anxiety, but there was none.

Even now, his hand running absentmindedly down Tommy's chest, all Buck could think about was how amazing he felt. How comfortable. Safe.

It was so different from anything he'd ever experienced before. Part of him felt silly. He was glad Tommy had his eyes closed, his own hand sliding up and down Buck's back. Buck was embarrassed by the fact he was blushing. Especially after everything they just did.

But his eyes were transfixed on Tommy's chest. The hair, the firmness of his muscles, the way Buck's fingers moved up and down over his abs like a car driving over hills.

His skin was so warm. And maybe that in itself wasn't exactly new, but it felt new. Different.

They didn't even have the covers over them. Just bare bodies tangled together while the fan spun above them. But Buck didn't feel cold. All he felt was the warmth of Tommy wrapped all around him.

Different.

Comfortable.

Safe.

Perfect.

“Evan?” The raspiness in Tommy's voice only soothed him further.

“Yeah?”

“I can feel you thinking. You okay?”

Buck couldn't help but smile. Tommy was always checking in. Always wanted to make sure they were on the same page.

Buck let out a relaxed sigh. “I- I think I could stay like this forever.” He whispered the words into Tommy's skin like they were a precious secret. He hoped it didn't sound too cheesy. Hoped he didn't say too much. Make it too personal.

His worries were quickly squashed when Tommy pulled him even closer, pressing a kiss to the top of his head, whispering back, “Me too.”

[alchemistc]

won't make my mama proud

read on ao3

Buck's just gonna say it. He's not gonna be cagey about it. He's not gonna make it weird. Everyone important doesn't need an announcement, they'll - they'll see him, and they'll understand, and Buck will get to enjoy himself.

His parents are the wildcard.

"E- Buck," his mom starts, brow furrowed as she looks at the seating chart. She's getting better at catching herself, and it's small fries but it's not nothing. "Why did George get moved to table seven?"

He'd been a little giddy, sitting at Maddie's kitchen table with the seating chart out, the tips of his ears bright red and the smile refusing to leave his face, basking in the little hip-shake arm-wave dance Maddie'd done when he asked if she could fit a plus one in.

Buck honestly couldn't remember who they'd moved to make it work, but it'd made the most sense - Tommy knew Bobby and Athena, he knew Karen and Eddie and Marisol, he wouldn't have to sit with a table of strangers who didn't even know a "George" anyway.

His mom's eyes flit to the extended family table, where Tommy has been tucked in between Eddie and Denny. He'd made the place card himself, intent to match the script from the printers, tongue sticking out as he swooped the 'Y' out in gold Sharpie on a piece of leftover cardstock cut to match.

"Uh - I'm bringing a date, after all," Buck says, and he watches his mom slide through names, a mental list of people she vaguely knows of. The Marisol thing had been a point of contention - extended family meant family to Margaret and Phillip Buckley, and they'd already made an exception to let Chim include Eddie and his son at that particular table. They'd acted like the relationship to the bride and the groom was going to be hovering over the top of each table. So. She knows the name Marisol. She knows Athena and Bobby. Knows Karen.

The list of potential dates is growing smaller by the minute and clearly it's not computing.

He's just gonna rip the bandaid off. "His name is Tommy. My date."

Once upon a time, he'd have taken an opportunity like this to make sure he was the center of fucking attention for as long as he possibly could be. Maybe drive home the point that his parents didn't know him as well as they claimed they did. Definitely press their buttons, see if he could invite a reaction out of them.

Now he waves off his mother's confused silence. "I already ran it by Maddie and Chim, they know him." Sort of. It's too complicated to explain to his parents, right now. Maybe if the dancing goes well, at the reception. Maybe once he's snuck about fifty more kisses in.

"Buck, you can't bring a friend as a plus one to your sister's wedding."

He doesn't see why not, really, but that's - very much not the point. Oh. Oh yeah, that's a little painful. He gets why Tommy'd slammed the brakes, now, when he'd stuck his foot in it.

"Good thing he's my date, then, mom."

Even after all this time, he always feels like he's one bad interaction away from laying into his parents, but he tempers it. This isn't really about him, or them. This is about Maddie's wedding, which is two days away and doesn't need the distraction of the brides family having it out. Again.

"What do you mean?" she asks, and - her defensive voice always sounds like she's expecting a direct attack, teeth at her jugular and she's too frail to stop it. He's always hated the way she does that, because it always makes her sound like the victim of a heinous crime when half the time she's just trying to deny something she's been accused of.

Buck takes a deep breath through his nose. "Tommy. He's my date to the wedding. Once we've all eaten and toasted at the reception he'll be the one I'm getting drinks for, he'll be the one I'm introducing to Maddie's work friends, he'll be the one I'm dancing with." He'll be the one I'm going home with, Buck doesn't say, even if he really fucking wants to. He'd gotten a dick pic for the first time last night that had rocked his entire fucking world and he's very ready to explore the realities of finally understanding he's attracted to the male form in a sexual way.

She goes through what seems like all the stages of grief at once. Not unexpected, but still kinda shitty to witness. But she's - they're both better. His parents are trying. He'll give them that. She shores up a PTA mom smile.

"Oh. I didn't know you... Well I just didn't know."

"It's new," he says, because now doesn't feel like the time to tell her he's been analyzing old friendships for weeks now, that his penchant for trying to create deep bonds with men he admires has taken on a new meaning to him. He doesn't want to get into the conversation he'd had with Tommy two nights ago, Tommy laughing but understanding as Buck regaled him with the tale of how he'd followed the varsity kicker around like a lost puppy for most of his junior year and he'd only just figured out why. "Tommy used to work at the 118, though, so he's not exactly a stranger."

He doesn't really feel like giving her more than that. It's new to him, too, it's new and fragile and it's settling warm in his gut, this feeling like he finally knows the way to make a proper chili is to add some unsweetened cocoa powder. The recipe works without it but it was never quite right, until the secret ingredient got thrown in.

"You'll have to introduce us," his mom says, and Buck thinks about it - about the way Tommy will internalize the confused looks his parents try to hide, and the way Buck will want to curl tighter around him because of it, the way he'll want to shrink under the force of his parents never quite getting him and how he knows, he knows Tommy won't let him shrink.

"Yeah," he says, and his mind goes back to thinking of Tommy in a suit.

Tommy with a button undone that turns into three by the third song, Tommy fiddling with cufflinks, Tommy with suspenders, Tommy's ass in a pair of crisp tapered trousers. Buck wonders if he's an ankle sock with dress shoes guy.

His mom turns back to her trove of little gift bags, plastic crinkling as she ties another finished one off. He's - it feels a bit like he's waiting for a shoe to drop, sitting there next to her as her hands continue to pull jute twine from its roll in even six inch lengths, cutting them, twisting bags and tying them off.

Their hands meet the next time he slides a pile of filled bags over to her -- a bubble jar, three Jordan almonds, four Kisses, a quarter inch of crinkle paper on the bottom. Buck goes to move his hand back and her soft, wrinkled hand reaches out to pat his knuckles before she returns to her twine.

-----

He picks up Tommy's call when he's halfway home. "Hey," he says, and he knows Tommy can hear the smile in his voice. He can't bring himself to care.

"Hey. Did you already eat at your sisters?"

"No, my parents took Jee out to dinner so Maddie and Chim could have the night before Maddie imposes her weird twenty-four hour no contact rule."

"You Buckley's," Tommy says, and there's something fond in his voice that makes Buck's heart squeeze, just a bit. "I know I'll see you tomorrow night, but I thought, if you're not busy --."

"I'm not busy," Buck interrupts, and Tommy's little chuff of a laugh echoes back at him.

"Maybe I'm about to ask you to detail my truck for me."

Buck's still trying to find the right way to word his thoughts about armor-all and gear shafts when Tommy cuts across them.

"Low hanging fruit, Evan," he warns, even though he can't have possibly known what Buck was thinking.

"I was thinking about the twig, not the berries," Buck shoots back, and Tommy groans.

"You have sufficient evidence not to call it a twig."

"Which is why I was trying to compare it to the gear shift, before you derailed that train of thought."

"Do you wanna come over for dinner or not, Evan Buckley?"

Buck taps his thumbs on the steering wheel, does a little jig in his seat, tries not to smile so wide that he scares the driver next to him as he coasts to a stop at a red light.

"Are the berries on the menu?"

"The stick shift too, if you're lucky."

"This metaphor is getting a little murky."

"If you wanted to stop for shitty burgers I wouldn't mind," Tommy admits, voice softening, and Buck is already trying to plot out the best route to In-N-Out from here to Tommy's. "If you think of a way to make an Animal Style innuendo you are not getting into my pants tonight."

"I'll stick with the hot meat puns, then."

Tommy laughs, bright and loud, goofy like he can't quite control it, and Buck settles into his seat, flipping his blinker to get into the turn lane so he can double back a few blocks.

"You far enough away I can hop in the shower without telling you where I keep my hide-a-key?"

"Yeah, but maybe you should tell me anyway."

Tommy hums, and something settles under Buck's skin when Tommy gives him a frankly ridiculous set of instructions that no first responder is ever gonna follow in an emergency when they could just kick the door in, dispatch instructions be damned.

It's far too early in this, but Buck's pretty sure he's deep enough in this that it wouldn't weird him out if Tommy told him to keep the spare. He doesn't, and Buck doesn't mind, but it's there, in the back of his mind, that feeling like they're both in this for the long haul.

"Hey, I told my mom you're coming as my plus one," Buck says into the comfortable silence that drifts over the line. Tommy knows the bare minimum about his family, really, but he knows that's significant all the same.

"How did that...go?" And Buck keeps forgetting that Tommy wasn't always confidently out, that he's experienced the coming out conversation with a lot worse results than Buck's experienced, so far.

"She was mostly weirded out that you made George move to table seven," Buck jokes, because he's not sure he's fully unpacked how he feels about it yet, and Tommy - Tommy gets that.

"If I'm stepping on toes, I don't mind sitting with all the weird singles and estranged aunts, Evan," Tommy assures, for the twentieth time.

"You're sitting with the people I want you to be sitting with," Buck reminds him, and hopes he understands the part of that that Buck doesn't know how to say out loud yet.

"Noted," he says, that same tone as when he met Buck for coffee, a few weeks ago now, the weight of understanding the things between the lines.

"Go shower," Buck tells him, and tries not to let his imagination run too wild at the thought. "I'll see you in a bit."

Tommy doesn't immediately respond, and Buck can imagine him on the other side of the call, debating whether or not to make the dumb joke about detailing his gear stick himself. He clearly has better impulse control than Buck. "See you soon," he says after a beat, and hangs up before Buck can draw him back in.

[myimaginarywonderland]

I present to you:

Tommy and Josh are friends. Somehow after some calls they got friendly and at one point decided to just hang out after exchanging numbers and texting for a while. They clicked. They found out they both were gay and it's so easy to finally have a friend that gets it.

So at one of their hangouts after the hurrican thing Tommy talks about the stunt the 118 pulled and he is like making fun before he talks about this guy being a literal golden retriever, trying to encourage the them and Josh just laughs and says "That's Buck alright." And Tommy just slowly turns to Josh with a look, a look that Josh has come to know and Josh goes "No Tommy, no."

And Tommy is all like "I didn't even say anything!"

And Josh is like "I get it trust me. First few times I meet him, I also crushed but that man is straight and also a giant idiot. His heart is too big and he wouldn't know how to turn you down. As his friend, I am telling you do not."

And Tommy goes "fine" and then they continue on with Tommy telling Josh about meeting up with Eddie and Josh makes a joke about the two army guys obviously bonding.

Cut to like three weeks later (They have both had different shift schedules and Josh has helped Maddie with the wedding) and they meet up after the restaurant date and Josh can sense something is wrong with his friend.

He wants to probe but Tommy just says "Thought I had a chance with a cute guy bit turns out he wasn't ready for something" and Josh gets it. He's been there, it sucks sometimes and he just offers his friend a shoulder to lean.

Another two weeks pass and when they meet up again Tommy is smiling. Like his nose scrunch smile which he only does when he is really smitten and Josh has truly only seen it once. So he immediately goes into questioning mood but Tommy just laughs and says "You know that cute guy? I think he is ready" but he won't elaborate further. And Josh is trying but Tommy just keeps giving vague answers and wow, Josh truly has never seen Tommy like this and feels a swell of happiness because whoever has his friend smiling like that better be good and worth it.

Josh also coincidentally has a meet up with the Buckley-Han family (they are already married to him basically) and he notices how Buck is glancing at his phone a lot and having this goofy smile and wow. He makes a joke about Buck having found a new girlfriend and Buck sort of freezes and now Josh feels bad but then he smiles such a soft smile it kind of hits him in the chest when he says "I am seeing someone and I am really happy." Cut to Chim wanting to probe but Buck not bugging and Josh just feeling happy for his friend. Maddie suddenly turns and ask "Did you want to bring them to the wedding?" and Buck kind of sheepishly replies "I already invited them." And Maddie softly chuckles talking about how gone her brother is and Josh is suddenly aware that Buck is using only they/them which isn't weird but it's not how Buck usually talks.

And Chim pipes up and says "With how much time you have been spending talking complaining about Tommy before, I have no idea where you suddenly got a date" and OMG.

Buck flushes a bit, Maddie laughs and Josh slaps a hand over his mouth to stop a giggle coming out.

Buck notices of course he does and when they are done later he pulls Josh aside and wants to talk but Josh just throws himself at Buck, hugging him.

"If you break his heart as his friend I have to hurt you. But as your friend, I couldn't be more happier for you" to which Buck kind of melts, chuckles and returns the hug.

On the way home, after some more heartfelt words because he knows how difficult and hard this can be, Josh stops the car at Tommy's flat, knocks up a storm and pushes past Tommy only to explode in the hallway as soon as the door is closed.

"YOU ARE DATING EVAN BUCKLEY AND YOU DIDN'T THINK TO TELL ME!"

And Tommy is a bit flabbergasted and laughs to which Josh kind of gets upset and says "I love you, I am fully in support of your relationship, I couldn't be happier, he is a catch but damn, are you telling me I could have had a chance?"

Which just causes a ridiculous laughing and giggling fit between two grown ass adults that Josh and Tommy will be happy to deny ever happened.