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gallaghercest · 6 years ago

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REPOST: Evidence #1 - Noel’s Sexuality

Hello! So, I’m reposting this 2017 post because Tumblr deleted it.

Enjoy!

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Good evening, class! It’s been a long time but I’m back. It took so long because I needed plenty of time to arrange everything correctly, because tonight we’ll have a long post. And I’m back with such a polemic subject to talk about. That’s right: Noel Gallagher’s sexuality. Pretty much a taboo in the whole fandom.

I actually realised this should have been my first post here, since it’s focused much more on the 80s, but, well, it’s all said and done now, so just pretend you read this post first, ok?

Before starting I know that there will probably be someone/some people who will go “but jULIA YOU CAN’T TALK ABOUT THIS, IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, IT’S TOO PERSONAL, YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT NOEL AND HIS GAYNESS AA A A A A A A”

And I’ll tell you what, kids: I’d rather walk I HAVE the right to talk about this, I’m his fan, I have the evidences, I’ve done researches, essays, everything you can imagine, and my conclusion is: it’s not my fault if he prefers to stay inside the closet LG x

So, take your seats and here we go!

Disclaimer: this is a bunch of evidences I made by myself, based in conversations I had with my friends and months of analysis, suffering, nights of insomnia and tears. Don’t know if everything is veridical, but at least, it’s a way that I found to “light” up our way and try to find some proper fucking answers to this stuff.

Well, I bet lots of you have already wondered (at least once in your lifetimes) about Noel’s sexuality, because, honestly, it’s something really confusing if you stop to think about it. The guy fucking hooked up with his brother, that’s already a good point to start. But I’ll try to list all the evidences on a chronological order.

1-) This Charming Man

This one is more like a deduction but ok. Yes, the famous Smiths’ song always had an important role on Noel’s life. It was the first song he learned to play on guitar. It was his main inspiration to become a musician as soon he saw The Smiths playing it on Top Of The Pops in 1983.

But, a 16 year old Noel who hated school and all type of book obviously didn’t understand the references and the lyrics meaning of any song as a 21 year old Noel could.

There’s a quote from Noel, which I think it’s from the NGHFB era already – but it might be from the late Oasis years, who knows – which I couldn’t find now, but I promise I’ll try my best to find it. If you know it, you can send it to me, too. The point is that, basically, Noel was asked by the interviewer why would he play the same fucking songs in every single gig.

Noel answered that, when he attended his first Smiths’ gig, which I’m sure it was in late 80s, he wanted them to play This Charming Man SO SO SO SO SO MUCH, and they had played it on their last gig, or on the last week’s gig, something like this, so Noel was really hopeful about it. The point is: they didn’t play it on the gig that Noel attended, and he got pretty much traumatised over that. So, he claims he plays the same songs every single gig because of that happening.

But, now, I ask you: As I said, this song was always important to him. But, as he grew old, he might have understood the lyrics more – This Charming Man’s lyrics clearly talks about homosexuality and an affair between a guy from working class and a guy from an upper class, you can read more about it on Genius, I guess. And now that he was older, maybe he identified more with the song in general.

He said once that as soon as he heard This Charming Man, everything made sense, even though he didn’t know any literature references and stuff like that – so he admitted that he didn’t get the lyrics at first. And this is important because I’m not telling you he had homosexual tendencies since he was born, it came after years and years.

2-) “Effeminate Phase” AKA Manchester Mauler

In the Definitely Maybe DVD, when talking about the “Give me gin and tonic” bit from Supersonic with Mark Coyle (11:30), Noel mentions that he must have been going through one of his – ONE OF, IT MEANS HE HAD LOTS OF – ‘effeminate phases’ to be drinking gin and tonic at that time.

He even joked once in an interview with Zane Lowe that when Peggy asked him why did he kept in his room 24/7 playing guitar, he answered, joking, “because I’m gay” :’))))))))))))

And now, the thing that I guess it’s the most iconic thing about Noel’s sexuality: if you search on Google “Is Noel Gallagher gay?” you will find an anonymous answer (that actually was answered by The WikiAnswers Community™), which goes:

“Definitely! He’s known as the Manchester Mauler. A refrerence to his brutal homosexual appetite durring his youth in Manchester, England.”

And in case you’re wondering “what the fuck does Mauler mean?”, Urban Dictionary will help you:

(I censored it because maybe Tumblr would block it again if I didn’t)

Let me tell you: this is my favourite piece of information of the entire Oasis history. It doesn’t come from any reliable source but the point is: I don’t doubt it. It’s the truth to me.

3-) Clint Boon

This is probably the most important evidence – so important that it’s why I’ve chosen it to illustrate the post. Noel’s years as a roadie were, obviously, wild.

Everything started when he auditioned to be the new singer of Inspiral Carpets. As we all know, he wasn’t accepted, but he was asked to be a roadie, in case he was interested. I don’t want to be pretentious but I have lots of friends who think that the job was only offered to him because Clint was already interested, BUT ANYWAY.

It’s common to see lots of photos of Clint and Noel together, we all know. And very suspicious photos, in fact. Some of them are not even with Clint, for example. The one where Noel is almost kissing a guy with a hand on his **** is actually Graham. And you can tell it because Graham’s hair was shorter than Clint’s (it’s the third photo of the collage above)

Noel was already asked by this photo on an interview and he was BOLD ENOUGH to deny the kiss:

“Interviewer: There’s a quite famous photo of you snogging Clint [Boon] from The lnspiral Carpets.

Noel: Oh no, that was Graham [Lambert, Inspirals guitarist]. Yeah. We weren’t actually kissing, though.

I: It looked like you were.

N: Yeah, yeah, it did look like it. But I can assure you.”

Anyway, the point is, we know Noel can assure they weren’t kissing because the only guy he would kiss was Clint. Ok, seriously now: we know that Noel used to take suspicious photos with his friends, while they drank and did drugs.

You can even see Noel shotgunning – the act of blowing weed or simply cigarette’s smoke on another person��s, usually your partner’s, mouth, and maybe even kissing – on the 4th and 5th photo from the beginning of the post. Notice that both photos were taken at the same night (their clothes are the same) and with the same guy.

Ah, and we have the matching haircuts as well. Thing we saw happening to Liam and Noel too (1997, 1999…)

(please don’t ever let this photo die)

Well. My point here is not the photos, not even the haircuts at all. It’s Clint. The amount of photos/footage we have of Noel with Clint is much more significant than the ones we have with the rest of the band. For example, Noel’s not seen in bed with any other member than Clint.

Actually, I have more things to talk of Clint, but I’ll leave it to another post.

And more: on the book “Carpet Burns: Life with Inspiral Carpets”, by Tom Hingley, the lead singer, contains a quote where Clint claims that Noel taught him another use for the airplane tables (thanks, Mat, for the useful info!). Another use. If you know what I mean.

But the most extraordinary thing is that, coincidence or not, there’s a Inspiral’s song, called Dragging me Down, written by Clint, released on 1992 – when Noel was already gone and in Oasis –, that strangely makes references to planes, travels, sky and flying. Behold:

Now, it’s up to you to patch things together.

AND DON’T YOU GET ME TO TALK ABOUT THIS:

4-) Random Noel’s quotes through the years

This one is probably the more common and easy-to-find evidence. I’ll just give the examples I recall now, but if you have more in mind, feel free to share it so I can add it to this post!

I don’t know what happened to Noel in the ‘Russell Brand 6Music show’ on 2006, because somehow he said a lot of things there.

Noel insisted that if he was gay, he’d be the biggest gay in the world, saying “I would be gayer than Freddie Mercury”, and then, Russell suggested that the 3AM girls might be interested in Noel suddenly getting in touch with his gay side, to which Noel replied:

“In a manner of speaking, I may have done already.”

Bingo!

And there’s that one from 1 Leicester Square, also being interviewed by Russell Brand, where they even talk a little about Noel’s years as a roadie, and Noel later says he was “very in touch” with his “effeminate side” (again!) and that Noel was a girl’s name¿? Russell says Liam has a “sexualised arrogance” and I confess I’m really like ?¿?¿where did you get it, son?¿?¿? because I really do think it’s something Noel thinks at the deep heart, not something Russell Brand could say, actually.

And again, there’s another quote, from another Russell Brand BBC2 show from 29th July 2008: “I like a few women but I like men an awful lot more.” He even continues and say “I call myself straight, but I’m GAY!”. “If I went to call myself bisexual, it would be equally, if not more misleaded (?), I’m not undecided or bi-curious either” Then, Noel asks “Matt, can you come up with a new word for people who are mostly straight but a little gay or mostly gay but a little straight?” and Russell comes up with the brilliant answer: “Oasis.”

It actually surprises and triggers me how nearly every time Noel and Russell meet, they end up talking about that subject… really weird, innit? Does Russell know of something? We might never know… *suspense intensifies*

And, now, going out of the Russell Brand show, we have the beautiful quote of Noel for a German TV interview on February 2009, which I’ll give me the luxury to copy down here:

“Q: So tonight you’re on stage with your brother.

N: Unfortunately, yes.

Q: Unfortunately. You don’t like each other very much.

N: No.

Q: Is there anything you like about your brother? Anything?

N. There’s lots of things I like about his personality, but he doesn’t like me.

Q: Do you know why?

N: Uuuhm…

Q: Have you ever talked to him about it?

N: I don’t know. You’d have to speak to him. But I know he doesn’t like me. He insults me all the time.

Q: But you like him.

N: There’s certain aspects of him that I like.

Q: What kind of aspects?

N: He wears crazy shoes.

Q: Ah. Anything else?

N: He has crazy hair.

Q: And what’s that got to do with his personality?

N: They’re just things I find attractive in men.”

Fine.

6-) This.

Ok, now I have two destinations: either people will kill me or support me. I don’t want to, I don’t know, ruin Noel’s perfect-marriage-husband reputation or whatsoever; actually, I don’t want to ruin Noel’s marriage lolololol but the point is: it’s in the internet, so it’s free, right? And my job here is exposing. So, that’s what I’m gonna do.

Well, one day I was doing my daily research with my friends, seeking for evidences of Noel’s bisexuality, and I bumped up into this:

But then I thought, “c'mon, the guy (who I censored the username for legal reasons) could be tripping”, but then me and my big-stalker-KGB-ass did a research on the lad’s profile, and, in the same weekend he tweeted that, he really was at Glasto, in 2014:

And the point is that, Noel wasn’t playing Glastonbury then, but he ATTENDED Glastonbury; he was at backstage, as you can see here:

Maybe the guy is crazy? Yes! Do I think he is actually crazy? No! Simply because, as I said, I don’t doubt anything, I know Noel and his capacity. The only difference between Noel and Liam is that Noel is a perfect secrefreak.

7-) Oasis fans are noticing it

If you think I made up all this bullshit, think again. It’s more and more common you see, not only the more dedicated fan accounts talking about it, but more grown-up fans talking about it too – I mean: it’s common to see not only the fan girls talking of it, but 30 year old blokes talking too. So, something must be quite right in all of this, right?

That’s it, guys, thank you so much for reading, I really consider this post my ultimate masterpiece, so I hope you enjoyed it! Feel free to reblog, it helps me a lot, send a message or whatever, I’ll love to read it, see you on the next post!

#noel gallagher #gallaghercest #gcestlavie #evidence #80s

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