#tolkien blog party

[retellingthehobbit]

Welcome! This is the official tumblr blog for my webcomic adaptation of The Hobbit.

When does it update? I post a massive 20+ page chapter every few months. If you want to see one page a week, viewing a chapter as it slowly comes together and getting “sneak previews” of everything— you can support me on my Patreon.

Where can I find it? For all information about the comic and a full official archive, visit retellingthehobbit.com.

You can also find it on Ao3 here, or on Webtoon here. You can also see pages early on Patreon. Finally, I also crosspost to tumblr. You can start at chapter 1, or any of the links below:

Chapter 1: A Bedtime Story/Tooks and Bagginses Chapter 2: A Very Respectable Hobbit Chapter 3: Very Old Friends Chapter 4: An Unexpected Party, Part One Chapter 5: An Unexpected Party, Part Two Chapter 6: An Enormously Important Dwarf Chapter 7: The Lonely Mountain Translator's Note Chapter 8: A Tangled Web (note; this chapter can be skipped! Consider it a bonus.) Chapter 9: Ash and Smoke Chapter 10: The Heart of the Mountain Chapter 11: Polite Nothings (note; this chapter will be edited down and shortened in the future.) Chapter 12: The Company's Quest (note; this chapter will be edited down and shortened in the future.) Chapter 13: The Necromancer Chapter 14: Terms & Conditions Chapter 15: Unattached Chapter 16: The Song of the Lonely Mountain Chapter 17: Dawn Chapter 18: Over the Hill and Across the Water (Coming TBD, first twenty pages up on my Patreon) Chapter 19: Roads Go Ever On (the grand finale of this arc! Coming TBD)

Chapter 20/21/22: Q & A, character sheets, miscellaneous fun (Coming TBD) In this adaptation, titled “Retelling the Hobbit,” the book is reimagined as a bedtime story told by unreliable narrator Bilbo Baggins to a younger Frodo. The art style changes depending on which character is telling the story; most of the story is in Bilbo’s art style, but when Thorin explains the history of the Lonely Mountain or Gandalf explains the history of the Necromancer, it shifts into the different art styles of those characters. The comic's typography, art, and writing gradually improves over time :). For more information on the reasons behind the way I’m adapting Tolkien’s work, visit the About page of https://retellingthehobbit.com.

On this tumblr blog I will post all of the chapters (tagged #chapters and #chapter number.) I will also post additional art, which I will tag #not chapters, #wip, #misc, and #announcements.

Where else can I follow you? My main is @secretmellowblog, my general art blog is @secretmellowart, and my lotr sideblog is @overthinkinglotr. I am also on instagram at @blog.mellow and on Tiktok at Mellow_art8.

Feel free to send me asks about the comic, or to @ me if you post about it! :3

Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoy. <3

[sgiandubh]

Anon rebelde.

A Cait le ha costado pero ha aprendido como intentar hacer creíble su relación con Tony aunque el sigue tan poco colaborativo como se ve en el vídeo de IFTA

No hay llegada a los premios porque la ultima vez, el papel de guardabrigo de Tony a la salida del coche de Cait quedó bien patente y ese paso atrás como buen asistente ha quedado para la historia.

No hay desfile en la Red Carpet con Tony porque la velocidad de Cait para alejarse de el saben que es carne de gifs.

Las manos de Tony debajo de la mesa porque sus últimos aplausos denotaban un cierto manierismo muy poco varonil.

Cait radiante, esperando el barrido de la cámara, mientras Tony parece ajeno a lo que sucede alrededor con una sonrisa que podríamos describir como una mueca.

En resumen, la enésima puesta en escena del circo Tait. Si aún hay alguien que compre entradas para ese espectáculo es su problema, no el nuestro.

Dear, dear Anon Rebelde,

¡Te extrañé! Bienvenida de nuevo, en uno de los momentos más bajos que parece que nos gustan con tanto masoquismo, de este lado de la valla. Pero primero, la traducción:

'It did cost Cait, but she learned how to try and make her relationship to Tony look credible, even if he still doesn't seem willing to collaborate, as the IFTA clip shows us.

There is no arrival at the awards because last year, Tony's role as coat handler when leaving Cait's car was blatantly obvious and that relegation to good assistant went on record.

There is no parade on the Red Carpet with Tony because of Cait's haste in getting away from him. They know it's gif material.

Tony's hands are under the table because last year's applause denoted a certain, very unmanly, mannerism.

Cait beams, waiting for the camera to pan, while Tony seems oblivious to what is happening around him, with a smile that could rather be described as a grimace.

In short, the umpteenth staging of the Tait circus. If there is still someone who buys tickets for that show, it is their problem, not ours.'

I overall agree, as always, with your very balanced evaluation of the current state of play. But I also think tickets for that particular show will always be a hot sale in this fandom, either because it will be just up some people's alley (Mordor - I am amazed at the stupidity of their discussing the concept and some of them never heard of Tolkien: mind boggles), or because of the collective trauma/Stockholm syndrome many of us, here, still display. What I mean by that is very simple: for eight years now, we, shippers have been hostages of that Narrative and when something happens along those lines, we will surely react, giving all its toxicity renewed space and airtime. I am not judging anybody, here, because this is only human (and to many, the trauma is palpable) and there is nothing to judge. This is, however, a well-known group behavior dynamic that never fails to deliver. What she did was simply to double down on her PDA. But the experiment failed, because even five years after that Remarkable Week-end, the man still can't be arsed to show any organic enthusiasm or even involvement in his whereabouts. Cue in the SC nostalgia pic galore on shipping blogs and I have to say I am not really a fan: it just fuels that disco inferno cycle and exposes us to the same old, vile criticism, when the core of the shipping belief system is to be found elsewhere. Again, not judging anyone, just trying to understand behavior patterns, here.

Plus, I am really sorry, but he has been looking all sorts of terrible for quite a while, now. Blaming the camera angle (cortisone bloating) or the lighting systems is as mendacious and idiotic as the people circulating it. This kind of free propaganda is also known by all the interested parties and it also never fails to deliver, for many reasons it would be useless to further analyze.

Looking forward to read your witty take on things next time, darling. Siempre un placer leerte, corazon.

[lya-dustin]

Grab your knives and togas and join me on this Tumblr Holiday where we celebrate the murder of Julius Caeser.

a multifandom event since this is a multifandom blog*

OCs are welcome, encouraged even.

🥖send a prompt for a fic or moodboard where the only requirements are: must have a murder, a knife, and/or a party

🍷 write a fic or make a moodboard with the same requirements from the list above

🫒 let's play Caption This! Send a gif or picture of a character(ocs welcome if you have a face claim or drawing of them) And I'll supply the caption. You can also send the caption and i will find the gif or picture

🗡 the Gladiator Arena: send me a poll and the participants and let's see who wins the fight

*(fandoms allowed into the party:asoiaf/got/hotd, magnificent century, the ewanverse and the last kingdom, will make an exception for Tolkien)

[doodle-pops]

Do you think elves care about which person specifically proposes marriage? Is there a rule? In my culture, it's supposed to be the guy but younger people have normalized either person proposing as acceptable (which I think takes a lot of the pressure off the guys). I was curious as to what you think or if you had any information to share on that. Thank you, again, for writing this blog.

A pleasure to be of service writing for you all 🫡

As for your question, nope. In elven culture, they court with the intent to marry and spend forever with the person of choice. With this being said, neither parties are pressured since it doesn't matter who proposes for marriage is the goal for them. They know they must marry otherwise they wouldn't court—the dating ethics of the modern world isn't something that is found within Tolkien's culture, so the same rules don't apply.

What I do believe is at a certain point in the courtship, they would come together and decide if now is the time to enter that next stage in their life which brings them to the engagement. This is an act both parties agree upon and exchange silver rings on a chosen day with the family present. From there, they enter an engagement period that can range from a few months to a year before they wed.

So elves don't go through marriage proposals the way we do in the modern world, and it wouldn't matter who suggests. All that matters is that they can come together and exchange their silver rings to mark their betrothal and journey to marriage.

It's rare for an elf to skip the betrothal period and rush into marriage. The elf that occurred to was Aredhel and it was pure tragedy for her. I don't know of any other who skipped the betrothal period and went straight into marriage.

Hope this helped! 🤗

For more info: My Info Corner

[theresattrpgforthat]

Found your blog by chance, seems like a very cool concept!

ʕっ• ᴥ • ʔっ🫖🍵

I wonder if you have played Warhammer Fantasy RPG, and if you have any thoughts on it, or who you would recommend it to bonus question, any rules light one session RPGs with ready example scenarios you'd recommend?

Hello there! I do not have any experience with Warhammer in any of its forms, unfortunately. The closes I’ve gotten to experiencing anything Warhammer is the actual play episodes hosted on Fandible. I’ll post links to each of their episodes below.

Only War | Black Crusade | Age of Sigmar | The Black, the Grey & the Skaven | Wrath & Glory

Now, let’s see if I can do anything about the second half of your request!

Theme: Rules-Light Single Sessions.

A Complicated Profession, by Always Checkers Publishing.

A Complicated Profession is a light-hearted sci-fi TTRPG for 3 to 5 players. It's a one-shot that usually lasts a few sessions. What do bounty hunters do when the galaxy no longer needs them? In this game, they start new careers hosting intergalactic cruises!

Reunite your disbanded crew of jaded sidekicks, shabby droids and shady accomplices. Then pick a hosting role and start a new life together. 

While it may last a little longer than one session, I’m really excited about A Complicated Profession, as my game group will be playing it in about a month or so! Character creation is something of a fill-it-in mad-libs style process, which I can foresee being pretty quick and easy to set up. The tone of the game is really lighthearted as well, which I think is a great thing to look for when playing one-shots, especially if you’re playing games with folks you don’t know very well. I I don’t know game doesn’t have a predetermined scenario, but the focus of the game itself is pretty narrow, so I think it would be pretty easy to figure out what kinds of obstacles your retired bounty hunters will be up to.

Never & More, by Small Stories.

You are the newest recruits of The Society of Ushers, an occult secret society. Your mission is to prove yourself to your superiors, master the rituals required to move up a rung, and learn how to talk to ravens. Your direct superior and teacher, the Belfry-Devil, has finally deemed you suitable to circulate by yourselves amongst greater society, trusting you to remain faithful to the Ushers in the face of attempted poaching, targeted seduction, and superior parties.

This is a simple example of the kinds of games that exist in the Lasers-and-Feelings family of games, all designed around the concept of two core stats that tell us about your characters’ strengths and weaknesses. Many L&F games come with a few quick steps to create your character, a specific setting or mission, and a series of roll tables to help the GM construct a threat and series of obstacles. If you like rules-light games that are quick to read and occult settings, you might want to check out this game.

For Moria, by Luis Lasbelin.

With the Balrog dead, the hope of retaking Moria is more alive than ever. Thousands of dwarves gather from the great fortresses hidden beneath the mountains with the sole purpose of fighting to reclaim the once great dwarven stronghold.

For Moria uses the Breathless game system for games of terror and tension.

Breathless games are meant to put your characters in heavily dangerous situations, with resources that are guaranteed to run out. Because of this, I think they are a good fit for one-shot games, because there’s always the chance that your character meets some kind of doom. Because this game is about dwarves retaking Moria now that the Balrog is dead, I’d say that the setting does a lot of heavy lifting, assuming your characters are familiar with Tolkien’s Middle Earth. Definitely worth checking out.

Wolf Head, by A.C. Luke.

The King is just. Rather than execute you, he cursed you with the head of a wolf. Instead of death, you were exiled to be hunted for the rest of your days.

But now, the King needs you, or someone like you. There is a great crisis threatening the realm. If you were to solve it, he would remove the curse, pardon you of your crimes. What would you be willing to do for absolution?

WOLF HEAD is a dark fantasy tabletop role-playing game about medieval fable and what you will, and won't, do to be let back into the fold. Players take on the roles of wolves, criminals cursed with a wolf head and banished from society. You have become defined by your crimes—did you commit murder, foment revolution, speak heresy, or love the wrong person? And will what you did help or hinder you in clawing back what they took from you?

Wolf Head looks to have the capacity to be either a one-shot or take place over a large campaign. The game is meant to be zero-prep, which means that you can get a game up and running in no time, and the structure of quests means that you can start a one-shot with a specific quest that ends the session once it’s been accomplished. I don’t own this game, so I’m not sure if it comes with pre-written scenarios, but if it doesn’t, I’m expecting some tools to help you create your own quest pretty quickly.

Escape from Dino Island, by Sam Tung & Sam Roberts.

Escape from Dino Island is a thrilling adventure game about intrepid heroes trapped on an island overrun with creatures from a lost age—dinosaurs!

Players take on the role of everyday people who are brave and competent, but also in over their head. The game is designed to help you create the kind of stories that are full of action and suspense, but in which fighting is rarely a good option. Will you escape with your life? And what kind of person will you become in your quest to survive? There’s only one way to find out…

As a one-shot PbtA game, Escape from Dino Island starts you with a pretty tight premise: you’re trapped on an island populated with dinosaurs. Your characters all have different strengths that can help them get off the island, but one thing you have very little of is time. This is another story-first kind of game, but unlike other PbtA games, which require multiple sessions to tease out all of your character conflicts, Escape from Dino Island is meant to be played in one sitting, which means that any advancements available to your characters are expected to show up before the end of the first session.

Operation: Final Monarch, by poor students.

Operation Final Monarch is a one-page Tabletop RPG for 4-6 players. One player will act as the GM, providing obstacles, portraying passengers, and describing the Watchful Luftrahmer. You play as Infiltrators, spies from the fallen countries around Arstarkan. Your final mission is to kill Aleksander Von Korte.

When situations get risky you gamble with danger and can always push your luck to try to succeed in any situation. Be careful not to roll a 1 though, as a devastating consequence will soon follow. Use can also use your leverage over the passengers of the Watchful Luftrahmer, asking them questions they don’t want to answer or enacting your special abilities. When it all comes crashing down you will have to reveal your secrets to the other players. What do you really think about them? Are you secretly in love or hold a seed of resentment?

I keep an eye on one-page rpgs because they tend to be good candidates for single-session play. With only a few rules and not much room for character advancement, these games focus on giving you the basic premise of the game and the tools you have to play through it. Operation: Final Monarch gives your a very specific goal - assassinate Alexander Von Korte. You’re given a bottle setting to play this in as well - on Alexander’s blimp. I’m really interested in this game because it knows exactly what kind of experience it wants to give you, and it’s succinct and well laid out, which means that learning how to play isn’t that hard at all!

All Hands on Deck, by Alice V.

A gm-less, storytelling, Descended From the Queen game for three to six people about  a ship, its crew, and the sea they sail on. It is a game about the relationships between those people, about relying on each other, about being an individual in a team.

I wanted to spotlight a Descended from the Queen game because these games have a very unique mode of gameplay, which makes them really good for one-shot play. These games usually consist of a series of prompts attached to a regular playing card deck. Each turn consists of pulling a card from the deck, and answering the prompt related to it. Descended from the Queen games tend to be rather introspective, focusing on relationships and the ways they can affect our perceptions of events. The scenarios are also tied to each individual game, so in All Hands on Deck, the scenario involves a ships’ crew on a voyage, and the conflicts that may exist between different members due to the relationships they have to the Captain and each-other.

This Ship Is No Mother, by Thomas Manuel.

This Ship Is No Mother is a game about people in space, working jobs that are probably going to get them killed. Inspired by movies like Alien and games like Mothership and Dread, this is for fans of tension, creepy-crawlies, and general horror. Mechanically, it's a card-based Forged in the Dark game, first in the series of games currently called the Cardsharp Sonata.

In this game, players start with a full deck of cards and as you play, that deck will run down. When the deck ends, there is a climactic moment of panic as one of the characters is going to do something stupid and get themselves (and maybe everyone else) killed.

I got a chance to play this game with the creator last year and it really delivered! This Ship Is No Mother was originally designed as a way to run Mothership scenarios using a narrative system, with a time limit built in due to the fact that it uses cards instead of dice. You’ll use cards as resources, and since there’s only so many in the deck, you’ll run out of them one way or another. If you like suspense and alien horror, this is definitely worth checking out.

Games I’ve Recommended in the Past

Koboldly Go, by CoffeeSnake Studios.

Lady Blackbird, by John Harper.

Something is Wrong With the Chickens, by Elliot Davis.

The Great Soul Train Robbery, by Cloven Pine Games.

Faewater, by A Smouldering Lighthouse.

[kylobith]

Last updated: 22 September 2024

Greetings, traveller!

Since I am planning to write more from now on, having retrieved a bit of creativity over the past few months, I thought it would be handy to create a masterlist to make it easier to find them here.

At the moment, my writing is focused on Tolkien and The Lord of the Rings in general, so brace yourselves for quite a few of those, even if they're just drabbles! I am currently working on a five-part story on Éomer, but I expect to write a bit more on my favourite character, Faramir.

I do expect to write some drabbles centred on the characters of Baldur's Gate 3, probably centred around Astarion, Karlach, Gale and Halsin.

Eventually, I might dabble in The Boys as well for obvious *cough* Karl Urban *cough* reasons.

I will add some of my old ones on Stranger Things as well, some of which I must admit I don't think I will finish (just lost the inspiration for those I'm afraid!)

If I have enough time to write in the future (it's tricky for now), I might even accept some commissions for short stories, but we'll see about that in time, no promises haha

Expect to find fluff and angst, but also some smut from time to time. Everything will be properly tagged.

Note: Some older fanfictions with multiple chapters will only contain the Ao3 link. I don't know yet if I'll really post every single chapter on here.

Anyway, if you take the time to read my stuff, I'm extremely grateful and I hope you will enjoy whatever I put out there! If you wish to be tagged on new releases, don't hesitate to ask and I'll make sure to do so :)

Everything is available on my Ao3 account

Enjoy!

Tolkien/Lord of the Rings

Engraved On My Heart

(Éomer x FemOC) Éomer unexpectedly bonds with Éorhild, a maid in his service. Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 (Note: Part 1 was published on my sideblog, but the other parts will all be posted on this blog instead) In progress

Long Live The King!

(Faramir x Éowyn) Faramir supports Éowyn as she mourns Théoden. Completed

By the Blade

(Boromir x FemOC) War prompts Boromir and Nauriel, the daughter of the master-at-arms, to rally under the same banner despite a lifelong rivalry... but swords are not the only things bound to cross. Part 1 In progress

Lord of the Rings Week 2023

Event organised by @lotr20 to celebrate the 20th anniversary of The Return of the King. One to three prompts per day. Day 1: Home (Poem - Merry, Pippin, Faramir, Éowyn, Sam, Rosie, Éomer, Lothíriel) Day 2: Language | Culture | Beauty (Faramir x Éowyn, Éomer) Day 3: Fear | Courage (Éomer, Merry, Pippin) Day 4: Friendship | Loyalty (Legolas, Gimli, rest of the Fellowship except Boromir) Day 5: Loss | Despair (Boromir, Faramir, Denethor) Day 6: Triumph | Healing | Hope (Sam, Frodo) Day 7: The Return of the King 20th anniversary (The Fellowship, Arwen, Faramir, Éowyn, Elrond, Théoden, Éomer, Théodred) Completed

Lord of the Rings Week 2024

Event organised by @lotrweek. One prompt per day. Day 1: The Road Goes Ever On Day 2: Histories and Legacies Day 3: The Green Earth in the Daylight (art instead of writing) Day 4: Gifts, Burdens and Choices Day 5: Here With Me Day 6: Songs and Tales Day 7: Free Day - Hobbit Day! In progress

Baldur's Gate 3

The Little Tiefling

(Gale of Waterdeep x Tav) While Tav is resting, Gale seizes the opportunity to bond with his daughter by reading her a story. Completed

The Trick

(Gale of Waterdeep x Tav) In all his life, Gale never imagined undertaking such a difficult task. But he must. Short prequel to The Little Tiefling Completed

Under the Oak Leaves

(Halsin & Gender-neutral drow Tav) After the Tiefling party, Tav feels melancholic and isolates themself from the camp. Halsin finds them and is set on alleviating their pain. Completed

Little Town Tails

(Halsin x Fem!Tav) After saving up for years, Halsin settles and opens his veterinary practice in a quaint little town. Beyond patients, he finds friends and love, but also trouble. When a business mogul agrees with the mayor to buy local shops for the implementation of his coffee chain to make Heawick more touristic, Halsin's practice is threatened. It will take more than a good word to save his lifetime project. Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 In progress

Memory Lane

(Astarion & Gender-neutral Half-Drow Tav) Astarion is submerged by a desire to recover memories from his past. Before Cazador, before his transformation. And Tav is determined to help him. Could it be that there is somebody out there still waiting for him? Completed

The Unwanted Saviour

(Rolan x Fem!Tav) A restless night turns into a tacit confession. Upcoming

Star Wars

The Inner Battle (Ao3 only)

(Kylo Ren/Ben Solo & OC Bounty hunter) One year after the destruction of Starkiller, the First Order still dominates the Galaxy. Kylo Ren ventures in the Mid-Rim territories, tracking a target on Ord Mantell, whom he knows will help him achieve a secret mission he has been planning since the beginning... In progress - Editing Note: Chapters might be eventually posted on Tumblr, but for now it's a bit tricky due to the fic's size (I have about 50 chapters written!)

Stranger Things

Swords and Hoops

(Steve Harrington x Reader) Steve meets you at the Palace arcade after you come back from your holidays in California. Completed

Steady (Ao3 only)

(Eddie Munson x Steve Harrington) As they recover from the final confrontation with Vecna, Eddie and Steve bond and realise that they bring out the best version of each other. But not only... Completed

Time After Time (Ao3 only)

(Eddie Munson x Steve Harrington) Sequel to Steady. Steve and Eddie start over in Seattle, yet a new obstacle comes to stand in their way: coming to terms with their queerness. In progress

The Holiday Fling (Ao3 only)

(Eddie Munson x Fem!OC) Summer of 1987. Arwen Lewis spends her holidays in Arkansas after moving to the USA from Wales. One night, she meets Eddie Munson, who turns what was supposed to be a camping trip into the best summer of their lives. In progress

Rock You Like A Hurricane

(Billy Hargrove x FemReader) [NSFW] [Smut] Billy pays you an unexpected visit when you're home alone. The night ends quite differently than you thought... Completed

[sohypothetically]

Post 5: Girls Night Out

The stats:

2 years from first published to complete

300,000 words

8 couples (10 if you include Hayffie)

2 main OCs (original characters)

29 pages of outline

So many euphemisms

So much food

So much research

So much research

The fic changed my perception of Gale completely

First person

So, so much smut

Mr. Mellark lives!

If there's one criticism... it might be verbs. Or maybe that the first part feels a little too "crack fic" and ambles too much.

This fic changed my life. It changed how I felt about the fandom, my place in it, and my writing.

Blurb:

Contemporary A/U. Johanna Mason copes with a breakup the only way she knows how: going on a man-hunt. She brings her roommate Katniss Everdeen with her and the rest is frat party history. Rated M for explicit language, sexual innuendo, and general snarkiness. Written for Prompts in Panem Places Challenge, Prompt: Frat House. (Ships: Jo/other, Everlark, Gadge, Odesta)Rated: Fiction M - English - Humor/Romance 

Fanfic.net

A03

GNO Tumblr

For more about the genesis of this fic, read the Tolkien Food Blog description below the cut.

I'm going to apologize because I'm pretty sure my Anon response earlier sounded like sour grapes. Boohoo that I wasn't in the inner circle and that I wasn't regarded as one of the top 50 Everlark authors. So what?

I mention it because I think it's important to understand my headspace when I talk about this next fi. Where it came from and where it led me.

So it was March of 2013. I'm on the periphery of a fandom that was so freaking talented. HGRomance, Atetheredmind, Court81981, Dustwriter, Amelia_Day, DandelionSunset, Fnurfnur, Misshoneywell, Peetasbunmyoven, Annieoakley1, hutchhitched, jhutchmyanchor, Everlark_Pearl, JLaLa, Monroeslittle, Sponsormusings, Xerxia, pookieh, louezem, bleedtoloveher, katnissdoesnotfollowback, streetlightlove, famousfremus... the list of phenomenal Everlarkers went on for days.

We would regularly have something called "Prompts in Panem". (You can check this out at promptsinpanem.tumblr.com.) These were, well, what they sound like. Pre-A03 fic exchanges based on prompts. It ran for a week, with each day having a new prompt. Everlark only. They prompts would release maybe a week in advance? I don't remember how long, but I know that it was a Bacchanalian festival where we would gorge ourselves on all things Everlark. Creative. Full of pressure. The goal was to put out something that people would read and comment on. It was all about buzz. (To be clear, I miss these.)

At the same time, I was reading other bits and pieces outside of Everlark. Whiskeysnarker, who wrote the best Johanna Mason. Hawtsee, one of the best Gadgers. I beta'd for an Odesta author.

PIP started and I knew that there was nothing I had in my quiver that wasn't going to be done 100 times better by every other author in the fandom. I didn't have an angle, and I wanted one. I wanted something that would make for interesting reading. I had no ideas.

So I did what every writer does when experiencing a doubt-spiral. I poured myself a glass of wine. And one glass became two. I cried. Then I got mad, sort of like Katniss when she shoots the apple in the pig's mouth in THG. And I heard a voice in my head berating me stridently for my pity party. That voice became the voice of Johanna Mason for GNO. And let me tell you, she doesn't suffer fools. And she has opinions.

Everlark through the eyes of another? And that person is Johanna? And it starts at a frat party? Hell, yeah.

It was only ever supposed to be a one shot. And then honeylime08 made a comment about wanting more.

The rest is history.

[silmforrookies]

WELCOME TO MADNESS, YOU FOOLS

Are you new to Tolkien? Did you read the Lord of the Rings, but are too intimidated by Silmarillion? Have you read the thing ages ago and want to refresh your memories? This blog is just for you! Join me in my silly retelling of tragic elven textbook - and pick your criminal to write apologism for :)

About Me

Noldo, she/her. Main @that-angry-noldo

Do I know what I'm doing? No. Will I do it anyways? Absolutely

I'm not a Tolkien scholar, but I know a thing or two

I claim I'm a neutral party but secretely I think that everyone who isn't Finarfin is an idiot

About "Silm for Rookies"

this is a simplified humorous retelling of the Silmarillion which is intended to help new fans get into the Legendarium

why intended? because I have no idea whether it'll be successfull

has too many memes. too many. just. don't even try it if you don't like memes. i'm sorry.

Important Links

Navigation

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Taglist

(sign up here! )

Now that we're done, good luck! See you around :)

- your angry noldo

[the---hermit]

Hypothetically, you are only able to keep 20 of your books. Only one book per author/series. So what books are you keeping?

Thank you @fluencylevelfrench for tagging me!! This was a struggle, not because I had to pick only 20 books, but because I would have definitely picked more than one book by the same author. (most of the books I mentioned have a review on this blog if you're interested!)

The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien

Frankenstein by Mary Shelly

Her Body And Other Parties by Carmen Maria Machado

Trigger Warning by Neil Gaiman (the pain I feel in choosing just one of his books will end me)

The Armadillo Profecy by Zerocalcare

The Humans by Matt Haig

Hamnet by Maggie O'Farrell

The Haunting Of Hill House by Shirley Jackson

Gideon The Ninth by Tamsyn Muir

The Book Of Lost Things by John Connolly

Legends And Lattes by Travis Baldree

The Complete Tales And Poems by Edgar Allan Poe

Salem's Lot by Stephen King

Fairytales by the Grimm brothers

The Three Shadows by Cyril Pedrosa

The Divine Comedy by Dante Alighieri (I still have the copy I used to study on in high school and it's filled with doodles and annotations I could never give it away)

Through The Woods by Emily Carroll

Per Curarsi Con Le Erbe by Francesco Borsetta (it's a vintage book about herbalism and how to use medical herbs, probably my biggest niche interest, I have many but this is the oldest I own at the moment)

Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn

Cinzia by Leo Ortolani

I tag @just-a-cup-of-anxietea, @oneanxiousstudybuddy, @bennistudies, @bulletnotestudies, @upside-down-uni, @dreamofghosts whoever sees this and wants to do this!

[maddmuses]

mun is superior, pass it on.

Basics

Name: Madd, Maddlynn Maddithan, Maddie, Maddster, The Maddest, Waffles, Maddwaffles, Maddest One Around Age: 27+2 we ain't countin' them COVID years Gender: pebsi (fluid)

Favorites

Food(s): Barbacoa, Tacos, Tomato, Steak, Corn on The Cob, Salsa, Mint Ice Cream, Stroganoff, (still true af untouched except ig we can add caldo de res which I have been really about lately) Drink(s): Bepsi, Milk even tho it hurt me, Coors, Vanilla Bepis (even tho I can't fucking find it) Book(s): The Legends of Drizzt, Percy Jackson and The Olympians, The Heroes of Olympus, Assorted D&D Manuals, Any decent Graphic Novel, Strong Manga series; Hajime no Ippo, Eyeshield 21, Boku no Hero Academia, Bleach, Dragon Ball, Hikaru no Go, Yu Yu Hakusho, Yu-Gi-Oh/GX, Naruto, Slam Dunk, karate shoukoushi kohinata minoru, One Piece. We also addin' Chainsaw Man Favorite Author(s): R.A Salvatore, Ed Greenwood, Akira Toryiama, Tite Kubo, Masashi Kishimoto, Oda, Rowling (Pre-TERF) nah fuck that bitch not even pre-TERF she was wildly overrated, Tolkien Song(s): We don’t have time to be here all day, I’ll list some recent listens; Ocean Avenue - Yellow Card, No Flex Zone - Karmin and Watsky, I’m Something Else - SomethingelseYT, Dammit - Blink182, Punk Rock 101 - Blink182, Almost - Bowling For Soup, Stan - Eminem feat. Elton John, Absolutely - Nine Days, Simple Plan - Summer Paradise, So many Ninjasexparty songs, Rambe - Slow, Rambe - Don’t Greed, Zombie Love Song - YFM, Maroon 5 - Sugar, Reunion - Busted, Year 3000 - Busted Honestly those all slapped so imma add a few more recents: Montero, Good 4 u, My Nonfiction, Boyfriend Complex, anything by the nerdcore rappers

Movie(s): The New Guy, Spider-Man Homecoming (okay just that whole trilogy was best honestly), Spider-Verses too, Star Wars: A New Hope, Ed, Edd, ‘n Eddy: Big Picture Show, Hairspray (Musical)

TV Show(s): AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Ed, Edd, ‘n Eddy, The anime adaptations of most of the manga I listed above, Ash Vs. The Evil Dead, King of The Hill, South Park (It fell off), Community, One-Punch Man, Gravity Falls, Scrubs, Venture Bros., Bob’s Burgers, Futurama, Daria, Star Vs. The Forces of Evil, The Boondocks, Saturday night Live when it’s decent, King of The Hill, Futurama, The Conners, As Told By Ginger, The Bear

Band/group(s): Busted, Blink 182, Maroon 5, Sum 41, Bowling For Soup, Ninja Sex Party Solo Artist(s): Rambe, Owl City, Billy Joel Place(s): Oregon, San Diego School Subject(s): Drawing, English, History Sport(s): Boxing, Karate, Football Male Actor: ?????????? Female Actor:  ???????????? I CAN LIST CRUSHES I GUESS BUT YOU DIDN’T ASK I DON’T THINK ABOUT ACTORS THAT MUCH

Life

Best Friend: Brandon (no longer roommate, he still isn’t on tumblr) Significant Other: Am the Single Pringle ;'( Siblings: TONS Dream Job:  Online Content Creator, Teacher, Professor Tattoos: Nada Piercings: Nope Languages: English, Spanglish, Spanish Lite

Tumblr

Reason Behind URL: Well Madd is a component to my standard web handle maddwaffles, for prefix being appropriated from an ex while we were dating (it was a cute thing because we matched) that just hasn’t really evaded me. When it was yallneedahero I would have a more clever answer for you. Reason Behind Icon: I love Isane Nami and you should too # of Posts: 20,535!!!! HOLY SHIT BEFORE IT WAS ONLY 5,235 I SCALE SO HARD Why You Joined: idk!?!!?!?!?!? # of Blogs: P much just this one now

tagging: @pick-your-poison-please @burdenedreverance @midnightactual @waspandr @thundertempo @linklewinklewoman @rangikuxmatsumoto @baiika @auburniivenus @badassbarmaid tagged by: stole from @orihimex and stealing again

[lindseybyrd]

LOTR Read Along Live Blog

So this year I turn 33.

I have been a Lord of the Rings fan since childhood, and the year 33 has always been something I have deeply, deeply, looked forward to.

In honor of this event, I am granting myself a few gifts.

One. I will read through the Lord of the Rings series during this year, and maybe expand that to other Tolkien works.

Two. I will have a LOTR birthday party at some point.

Three. I will allow myself to buy one LOTR themed gift of my choosing within the $ 0-500 price range and not feel bad about it.

I love these books. More than words can say. And I want to share that love with the world, so during my read through I'll be doing a live blog. Hope you enjoy :)

And Gina, if you're out there, thank you for teaching me the ways of LOTR at summer camp. I'll never forget you.

[wanderingarcherviola]

No explain right now how they know each other

BUCKLE UP, PALS! LORE DROPPING FOR MY MUSES OG HOME VERSES.

Info for Viola and Tobi (who is over on @natures-lost-warden)

Tobi is technically one of the first D&D characters I created (despite Viola being made into a tumblr muse first)

Viola has been used in 2. Her OG verse, and the homebrew Tolkien verse I set her into for this blog.

Tobi has been used for 4 campaigns now (3 in his Canon line and 1 in a 'I'm the only non-newbie so I need something easy so i can help them.' line.)

Bare bones explanation is that Tobi will eventually mentor Viola and she will become the first member of his Grove after he teaches her to control her powers.

LONG EXPLANATION::

By the 3rd campaign, his final one (a campaign the DM made themselves, from scratch) Tobi was a renowned adventurer and known hero across multiple Plains. At the same time as this campaign I had Viola in her first one. So the DM had an idea to use Viola as an NPC to further Tobis end storyline.

The main reason for them knowing eachother is from when Tobi was searching for other offspring of the Eclipse Court fae.

Tobi found Viola living in the wilds and recognised her magic was similar to his own. Fearing she'd end up dragged into the final conflict he took her to Avernus, and left her in the care of his ex, a Cambions named Leruxis, until the Grove was dealt with.

Leaving her with Leruxis under strict instructions that who and what she really was be concealed from all others. Leruxis did that a bit too well and ended up losing track of her when she was off doing an errand for him.

Which led to the events of Violas first campaign, her sitting in a tavern waiting to give a message to one of Leruxis' contacts, assuming he'd call her back when needed. She met her party, and decided to go kick some evil asses until her babysitter dragged her home (Spoiler: It took him over a year)

TLDR;

Both Tobi and Viola were meant to be part of a twisted game for the entertainment of an Archfay. They and other children like them come from the Fae of the Eclipse Court, only existing to grow strong enough to earn notoriety, and then fight other children of the Court for the entertainment of the Archfay.

Tobi and the gang put a stop to the sick practice, all while Viola was learning to curb stomp corrupt Paladins (And while Leruxis was shitting himself knowing Tobi was gunna come back for the kid he misplaced)

[sindar-princeling]

I posted 465 times in 2022

That's 369 more posts than 2021!

235 posts created (51%)

230 posts reblogged (49%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@sindar-princeling

@svogliata-mente

@cornerful

@elven-child

@is-it-mungojerry-or-rumpelteazer

I tagged 463 of my posts in 2022

#lotr newsletter - 164 posts

#it's mine my own my precious - 136 posts

#no questions except on party business - 127 posts

#anon - 61 posts

#not lotr - 28 posts

#frodo - 25 posts

#aragorn - 20 posts

#lotr - 15 posts

#rings of power - 15 posts

#samwise - 14 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#i saw the asks and mentions and yall are the best but i cant reply rn because in a minute im flying out to see ✨️❤️david tennant🥰✨️ live

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

absolutely loving the daily dracula idea let's do lord of the rings next

1,660 notes - Posted May 6, 2022

#4

between the newsletter’s entry where we learn the ponies are okay, me picking apart rings of power and analysing why it doesn’t fully feel like tolkien, and this one gifset of frodo and sam i reblogged, i felt like i finally have to gather my thoughts regarding what makes tolkien tolkien

and while there are many things that do, i’d argue that the most special one is its earnestness.

characters in LOTR care unabashedly, with all their hearts, and love so easily, whether it’s platonic, familial or romantic.

the hobbits feel like the most obvious example - merry, pippin and sam follow frodo for as long as they’re able; their loyalty goes deep to their bones, and their relationships are so full of trust, joy, devotion, fondness.

but all of LOTR is just more examples of the same thing. after the war legolas spends the rest of his life in middle-earth with gimli - they travel together for over a hundred years - and then he decides he won’t just say goodbye when gimli dies! and he does something that hasn’t been done before and just takes gimli to valinor, but not before aragorn dies. because they both loved him, too. faramir asks “do you not love me, eowyn?“ and she realises she does, and he says he’ll marry her and they’ll grow a garden and heal, and he kisses her even though everyone can see them. sam loves frodo, and he loves rosie, and he spends his life with her, then joins frodo in the undying lands after she dies.

and it shines through in the movies, too! it’s thanks to both the direction and the acting skills of the cast, of course, that so, so often all emotions are on full display - whenever sam and frodo interact, when aragorn kisses boromir’s forehead, when the hobbits say goodbye at the grey havens, when pippin finds merry at the battlefield, the way gandalf reacts when frodo says he’ll go to mordor, the way theoden breaks down at his son’s grave, the way he cares about eowyn like she’s his own child, the way eomer reacts when he finds eowyn and thinks she’s dead. those are just examples off the top of my head.

it’s also very special to me because in many fictional works (not only in fantasy) people just aren’t allowed to be that open - mostly men, but not exclusively - meanwhile this earnestness is something i always look for in fiction.

it stands out especially if you consider some fantasy creators (not naming any names but you know who i mean ajsjdjfjf) saying they “just want to reflect the misogyny of the period” (which is just bullshit and also demeaning to people of all genders in so many ways), because while LOTR is heavily male-dominated, tolkien managed to do something very, very interesting and important there.

he says, “war is the province of men”, but it doesn’t mean you’re supposed to want to be there. you’re not supposed to want to go to battle, suffer and/or die. eomer wants eowyn to stay home because he loves her, and couldn’t stand to see her die in a cruel, gruesome way (and when he thinks she’s dead, it’s the most devastating display of grief in the whole movie trilogy).

the heroes go to war because there are things that need defending, and dying for a noble cause is honorable, but again - it’s about defending, not about fighting. the clearest villains of LOTR are people who want the war to happen. many of the heroes, most of whom are men, just want peace for their people, want companionship (one of the first things aragorn says to the hobbits is that he’d be happy to have more friends, because being a ranger means he’s lonely), or want a good meal and a good drink like the hobbits. they want comfort and warmth. they want to finish a book like bilbo. they want to live in a garden among all things that live and grow like faramir. they want to marry and have a home and kids like sam.

and the things is, it’s not always that common in fiction, but it’s absolutely common, you know. IN REAL LIFE? BECAUSE MEN ARE PEOPLE? so it’s just really good to have tolkien absolutely divorce masculinity in his works from how his characters show emotions, or how much comfort they crave. and that is a realistic approach i’m interested in.

1,956 notes - Posted October 2, 2022

#3

The previous post made me think some more about the real life influences on LOTR, so because I’m down with a cold and have a lot of time to spare, I finally wanted to write a coherent post about those comments GRRM made about Aragorn and his tax policy.

For those who haven’t heard the actual quote, here it is:

Tolkien can say that Aragorn became king and reigned for a hundred years, and he was wise and good. But Tolkien doesn’t ask the question: What was Aragorn’s tax policy? Did he maintain a standing army? What did he do in times of flood and famine? And what about all these orcs? By the end of the war, Sauron is gone but all of the orcs aren’t gone – they’re in the mountains. Did Aragorn pursue a policy of systematic genocide and kill them? Even the little baby orcs, in their little orc cradles? In real life, real-life kings had real-life problems to deal with. Just being a good guy was not the answer.

And my god, do I have problems with this approach to Tolkien. It’s kind of like asking why Bilbo was unconscious for a lot of the battle of five armies, when we know it was a story Tolkien was telling his kids before sleep.

When looking at LOTR, I think you can’t not read it as an ultimate escapist fantasy - and what’s most important, Tolkien’s personal escapist fantasy.

He is Frodo - a man born into a middle class family, educated, well-read, with close friends coming from the same “social sphere”, like Merry and Pippin, who died in WWI. Sam is in a very literal sense the batmen Tolkien fought with, which he said he considered “so far superior to myself”.

Tolkien had a few batmen during the war, like the article from my previous post mentions. Most probably because he fought in a few different units, but also, he may have lost some of them to war.

And in LOTR, they all get a happy ending.

Of all four of them, Frodo is the only one who can’t return home, most probably mirroring Tolkien’s trauma. He’s the only one whose ending is grounded in trauma, PTSD, loss. The rest of the hobbits get happy endings - very simple and traditional in a way that after the war was nothing but good - they marry, they have kids, the kids marry each other, everyone is happy and lives long lives.

Sam, especially, gets the happiest ending of all in this sense - he marries a woman he grew up with, he has so many beautiful kids, he is mayor for like seven times and everyone loves him, the Shire thrives.

Tolkien was too traumatised after the war not to write Frodo as a mirror of his experiences. But then he took all the people who fought alongside him, who suffered alongside him, people who he lost, and gave them the happiest fairy tale endings he could think of. And it’s not that Merry, Pippin and Sam weren’t as traumatised - this ending is not meant to belittle their experiences - Tolkien is simply giving them the ending that real life didn’t give them.

Returning to the original point, to Aragorn - it’s just another version of the same mechanism. Gondor was struggling, Gongor had Mordor as their immediate neighbours and was heavily affected by the war as well. And then there came a just, good king, and everything was fine. The end. It’s a subplot of the same fantasy as the hobbits’ endings. It doesn’t matter how hard ruling is, we trust that Aragorn is a good king, because people of Gondor deserve a good king (the people of the real world deserved a good ruler who wouldn’t drag them to war), and we know that Aragorn is an honorable, just man.

Nothing about the LOTR ending - apart from Frodo’s trauma - is meant to be realistic. Why would Tolkien want to write WWI and the aftermath - this time fictional.

2,038 notes - Posted September 24, 2022

#2

a friendly reminder 🔫🙂

(ID is added in alt text)

8,910 notes - Posted February 11, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

between describing elrond as an "ambitious political leader" and describing GoT as a "spiritual successor to lotr movies" I see now how stupid it was to think that the lotr series' intended audience would be you know. lotr fans

9,688 notes - Posted February 11, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[disgruntledexplainer]

for new followers

for any new followers confused about my personal politics, I am not a conservative. I am not a liberal. I am not even a centrist. I do not subscribe to capitalism, communism, or especially fascism. to me, the republican and democrat parties are both despicable abominations, at odds with the will of God. I do not believe in the existence of race, let alone racial supremacy. I despise eugenics, I loath abortion, I condemn genocide and lynching. I call out greedy capitalists and crazy rioters alike. I support the poor, the working class, small business owners, academics, immigrants, jews, and catholic clergy above all other demographics unapologetically.

I do not allow my religious beliefs to be subject to my politics. my religious beliefs determine my politics. I am a Catholic, first and foremost, and that is where my loyalties lie. Not to political party, not to nation. only to faith.

personal experience has taught me that I can count on Jews to be my friends. Outside of my faith, it is only they who have consistently treated me like a person, despite my disability. I will always stand up for them, regardless of any danger to myself. I’ve also become rather fond of quakers over my time studying history to get my degree, but i’ve never actually met one.

this is a blog devoted to screaming into the void, because there is nowhere for me to physically scream IRL. on top of my autism, I also have depression AND an anxiety disorder, which makes my need to scream rather frequent, be it from too much noise, to much pressure, or just existing.

you will occasionally see me quote the Bible, encyclicals from Pope Pius XI, Pius XII, and Pope Francis, the writings of JRR Tolkien, or A Canticle for Leibowitz. you will also see me vacillate between extreme optimism and extreme pessimism. I will sporadically talk about history (my major), physics (my minor), or D&D (my hobby). my favorite superhero is Rex Salazar from Generator Rex, my favorite band is Rush, and my favorite books are A Canticle for Leibowitz, the Lord of the Rings, and Deltora Quest.

there are certain things on this blog I loudly denounce, while there are other things i’m quiet about. this is because I have a sequential order of things i’m willing to spend energy getting mad about, and some things are so low on the list that I can’t be bothered. for example, I do believe that homosexual relations are mortal sins. but you won’t hear me talk about it much, because it’s just not worth it. i used to hold the same hands-off approach to the trans issue, but they seem so intent on making themselves a hypocritical, hysterical, unironically bigoted nuisance that they completely flipped my stance on them over the course of three months. the dodger’s acceptance of the hate group known as the “Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence” was the last straw, and for now they’ve managed to get into my top 10 things i scream about, up there with fucking q-anon.

oh yeah, I also “swear” a lot, though i never take the Lord’s Name in vain. ever. If bad words aren’t your cup of tea, this isn’t the best blog to follow.

if anything I have said here makes you uncomfortable, you might want to unfollow me to avoid my sporadic barrages of angry posts. just saying.

[i-did-not-mean-to]

I posted 19,326 times in 2022

That's 15,609 more posts than 2021!

1,670 posts created (9%)

17,656 posts reblogged (91%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@i-did-not-mean-to

@arofili

@lordoftherazzles

@blueberryrock

@eunoiaastralwings

I tagged 4,382 of my posts in 2022

#idnmt answers - 1,241 posts

#asks - 1,069 posts

#incorrect quote - 808 posts

#the hobbit - 526 posts

#fanfiction - 334 posts

#silmarillion - 315 posts

#tolkien - 249 posts

#ori - 227 posts

#trsb22 - 209 posts

#the silmarillion - 192 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#the tantalising ambivalence of the stinging cold and the tender touch of his tongue would tickle and arouse this delicate skin – too enchant

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

October 26th

Cuddles

Ah...@mismaeve, here we have my own - very tame - version of Thranduil.

He's a favourite with anon requesters and so, I thought I'd include him in the line-up.

Lots of love from me...

Words: 452

Warnings: innuendo

See the full post

208 notes - Posted October 26, 2022

#4

Slipping through my fingers all the time...

@sorisooyaa & @eunoiaastralwings

Here we go...

Done by the amazing @mysandwichranaway, here is Nerdanel holding her firstborn son, long after he was a size anywhere near appropriate for being picked up!!!

Aren't they beautiful???

Would you look at all that hair too? Gorgeous!!!

Please reblog and spread the word about my friend's talent!!! Commissions are open regularly (go check their profile & treat yourself)! I've been informed that they'll be open after the 20th of this month!

208 notes - Posted August 9, 2022

#3

I'm all about sappy love story for haldir. just don't tell leggy! "Imagine being Elrond's youngest and journeying to Lorien for the first time and falling in love with the charming March Warden Haldir"

Imagine from @imaginexhobbit

With love and thanks -🌙

Hey anon, sorry this took me so long :(

I have never written for Haldir, so please forgive me if it's terrible...(but there's an Easter Egg in it for all the Elf-lovers out there)

Starlight

Words: 1.9 k

Characters: Haldir x reader

Warnings: nothing (at least I hope)

You were entirely unimpressed – this far – with the fabled forest of Lothlórien.

Tired and hungry, you struggled to keep your countenance as smooth and dignified as your dear “father”’s, but – judging by the tutting of your guard-dog – you were not doing the best job.

Elrond had of course had millennia to perfect the gentle expression that hid annoyance and mockery like the morning fog veiled the treacherous crevices in the rocks you used to climb as a youngling.

You were still trying to set your own face into a semblance of decorum when the whole party stopped; it was not abrupt or brusque – Elves flowed, they floated, they hovered gracefully – but you had not been paying attention and – unbeknownst to anybody else – you flinched internally at your lack of perspicacity.

“Milady,” a gentle voice resounded, and you looked up to see a man – armoured and armed – bow slightly, “My name is Haldir and I am to escort you to the Lady of Light.”

Everything about the man was so pale that he looked positively unripe, you thought, intrigued by the silver hue every single thing in sight – the patient stranger included – seemed to have in this enchanted wood.

“My lady,” that strangely exotic apparition greeted you, bowing deeply and introducing himself as something called a ‘March Warden’ – you knew not if he warded the marching or if he was a warden on the march – to which you merely nodded sheepishly.

He was – upon further inspection – a charming creature, somewhere between the ethereal veil of morning mist and the solidity of silver, shining bright in the enchanted gleam filling the air.

As a guest of honour, you were taken to a spacious room in which you washed away the dust from the travel and – finally – found yourself standing on a small balcony overlooking the high trees glimmering as if the stars were attached to their branches like tiny lamps.

You wondered about that stranger who had greeted you with so much reverence and almost shy friendliness; his eyes had been warm and kind despite their frosty colour and his smile had promised a sweetness that was golden more than crystalline.

Everything around you seemed so cold in hue and in décor and yet, that one man had been enough for the heat to linger permanently in your cheeks.

“What are you dreaming of, child?” a voice resounded behind you – mysterious queen, mother-in-law of the one who had taken you in like a father, angelic being – Lady Galadriel was starlight captured in the pristine glass shrine of the fairest woman ever beheld by your humble eyes.

Didn’t she know?

Soundlessly, she floated closer, her gaze following yours and her smile broadening when you tensed upon seeing that Elf you had been thinking about so tirelessly for the last hours appear.

Unlike his Mistress, Haldir moved quickly and purposefully, and you wondered where he was headed.

“The March Warden?” her tone was soft as a summer breeze and held a playful note that surprised you in one so old and stately.

“Milady,” you stammered, unsure what to say.

“I am not certain Elrond would thank me if I let my warden claim his ward,” she chuckled under her breath; the sound was like a complex song rippling through the still air and driving shivers down your spine.

“Although,” a slender finger was pressed against a perfectly shaped chin in an expression of thoughtfulness, “that would teach him.”

“What do you mean?” you asked breathlessly, overwhelmed by her presence.

See the full post

220 notes - Posted March 3, 2022

#2

Sorry if this is a bit too specific: legolas marries the readers on the request of his father and a lord. Reader thinks it's ok .. they can work it out, but decades pass and they have never been intimate and watches the lingering glances he has towards tauriel. But she keeps trying to get his attention, but when legolas decided to run after tauriel during the DOS she runs away leaving a letter and wedding ring behind. Legolas admits to Tauriel he loved her cause of everything she had done for him after BOTFA, but tauriel is absolutely confused saying that was never her. Legolas horrified coming to realise it was all the reader's doing, he tries deny it first but out of shock and thranduil almost shouts at him to open his eyes and see the truth. So when legolas returns and sees the letter and ring left behind, he sets out to find her again 🤔 and does he? Fluff ending? Up to you, because i marvel at how you write and bring a story to a close .. that is not heavy on the mind.

- Thank you and sorry for being very specific. Change it along if it easier for yourself. You are the writer and I'm your simple requester with an idea too big and a writing too rough and small 🤪

Dear anon, this was indeed very specific...

So, to keep the suspense up, I'll do this in two parts :D

Vows - Part I

Words: 1,1 k

Warning: Marital problems, pain, hint at infidelity (emotional)

The news of your impending betrothal had come one sunny morning and – obedient to a fault – you didn’t even think it necessary to agree explicitly.

It was, after all, a great honour to be married to the prince of the woodland realm – a young Elf so charming and handsome that many a maiden would have killed to be in your shoes – according to the express wishes of both the king and your eminent father.

The fact that you did not know Legolas or had ever spoken to him beyond the courteous exchanges that were both usual and expected in your circles did not dissuade you from believing that everything would work out fine.

You were – in a word – full of a faith that bordered on naïveté; while you had spent your youth in the protective cocoon of your parents’ love, Legolas had been raised to be a warrior and a royal, but you were convinced that you’d find common ground eventually.

Your wedding was a very formal affair – much to your disappointment – and you silently bemoaned the impossibility to find a single quiet moment to get to know your betrothed a little better.

At all times, there was some kinsman, subject, or friend interrupting and pulling away your newly minted husband to drink with them or exchange news pertaining to subjects hardly meant for the sensitive ears of a porcelain court doll.

It hurt you to admit it, but you felt utterly and miserably lonely at your own wedding and still, you had faith in your marriage.

You had been born and bred to be a wife; you knew that you could be a good one and Legolas struck you as a gentle soul you could even grow to care for.

That night, and every night after though, he would refrain from joining you in your marital chamber. You knew not whence he left until – months later – you followed him discreetly and found out that he would sit in a tree until morning light.

No doubt, this was hardly restful!

The years crept by slowly; you grew used to that presence at your side that was so much like the sun and the moon: ever there and yet impossible to touch.

Your husband turned out to be mild and very kind; he would make pleasant conversation with you at banquets and formal dinners, but he never actively sought out your presence when you were alone – reading or watching the stars – in your private quarters.

Moreover, you were not blind to the lingering looks he would lavish on that red-haired Elven guard – Tauriel – and you couldn’t help the incessant, voracious growth of the grapevines of envy and jealousy that slowly choked the life out of your heart.

Legolas knew that he was doing you wrong.

At first, he had resented the meddlesome attitude of his father upon learning that a bride – a total stranger – had been selected for him and the fact that you had meekly agreed to that devious plot did not inspire great trust in him either.

He was aware of his social standing of course and he was afraid that it had merely been his title and not his person that had swayed a young lady of the court to accept the proposal made in his name and without his knowledge.

Upon seeing you though, he had to admit that you were indeed of a rare beauty, but your obedient, gentle demeanour still rubbed him the wrong way; he was relatively young and he desired to challenge and to be challenged in turn.

His heart had long been set on his friend – feisty, courageous, outrageous Tauriel – who made him feel as if he – as a person independently of his name and standing – had some inherent value.

Nonetheless, he could not deny that he felt guilty about having given his word – and his hand – in matrimony to a lady only to turn around and neglect her.

You acted so much like a merely decorative thing, sitting around like a perfect life-sized doll, that he found it a little too easy to discard you and pursue his own interests selfishly.

It was not even as if he didn’t like you; on the contrary, you were a great conversationalist and – being warm-hearted and kind – he did not doubt for a single second that you would be a great princess and – in time – maybe even queen to the realm.

Mindful of the safety and well-being of the subjects, you often spoke about concerns that sounded painfully dull to him.

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233 notes - Posted February 25, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

You write our favorite elven king so good though! 😱. I want to request for maybe Celebrity/Royal meeting normal citizen? Legolas introducing the reader, his courtee who is human and from the modern world to his father. He met her during the journey to destroy the ring when she literally fell into middle earth and is stuck here? Shy reader who hides behind legolas -🌙

Dear Nonnie, I am so sorry I got this wrong the first time around...

(Here's the discarded story)

But...here's your story <3

Dresses

Words: 1,7 k

Warnings: none

Characters: Legolas x Reader, Thranduil

“I should be wearing a dress,” you sighed, looking miserably at the reflection in the weirdly cloudy stream of the river.

Since you had practically fallen into a magical world with dragons and dwarves, you had been clad in hand-me-downs and borrowed garments that were ill-fitting at best and outright unflattering at worst.

“Why?” Legolas cocked his shapely head like one of the birds native to this enchanted forest �� keeper of the history of the land – in an expression of his utter astonishment, “Whatever do you need a dress for?”

He thought about it for a moment and then, a slight hint of heat crept into his high, pale cheeks.

“Of course,” he exclaimed hastily, “you are uncomfortable in my breeches. Once you’ve seen my father, I shall send for the seamstress and you may have anything your heart desires!”

“Love,” you laid your hand on his forearm to forestall the flood of loving words about to pour forth, “it is not vanity that ails me. I…I just don’t think that dirty leggings are the right apparel when meeting a king.”

Your beloved – with whom you had braved dangers you could never have imagined in your previous life – smiled softly at that.

“Thranduil is a vain creature but he will never fault you for bearing the marks of an honest fight,” he assured you, waving – graceful as ever – at his own stained travel clothes. As if he wouldn’t be put in a bathtub and wrapped in silk and velvet before going to meet his eminent father, the king.

You walked on, the trees whispering around you as if they knew who was moving among them.

As the destination of your stroll came into view, your breath hitched in your throat; you had fought and scrambled – you had been forced to hit the ground running to avoid dying in a world where nobody would even know what name to put on the gravestone – but this was different.

War was the same in every universe and in every realm: it was a narrative written in blood, and – as a mere commoner, so much more common than the peasants in this world even – you had done as much as you could, never resting, never wondering why, never even taking the time to settle into this new place.

The only anchor you had was this ethereal creature almost floating by your side, a languid smile on his lips upon seeing his father’s halls once more; a part of Legolas – this much you knew for he had told you – had not expected ever laying eyes upon his home or his king again.

“I am a foreigner,” you whispered, every breath you drew more laboured and shivering than the one before.

“Everyone is,” Legolas replied lightly, “Thranduil is a breed apart, so to say, and you will not be stranger to him than a dwarf or a hobbit.”

“You say that,” you mumbled, not entirely convinced.

Of course, by now, you wore the clothes usual in this realm, you had a notion of the most important languages and could distinguish them even if you did not master them, you were used to the food and the weather, but that did not mean that you were ready for societal challenges such as meeting an elusive and mystical king.

“He is not only my king, ruler of my home realm,” Legolas impressed upon you, his warm hand grabbing yours and holding it gingerly, “he is also my father and so, he will be overjoyed to meet the one who stole my heart.”

When you didn’t reply, Legolas went on: “And he has seen battle…My sweet love, Thranduil has seen more of war than you could ever picture; he does not shrink from the sight of blood and dirt.”

He sighed.

You knew that his life had been a long one – compared to the average lifespan of those living in your world – and that, despite the centuries alive, Legolas was still ‘young’ to his own kin; the things you had seen, the skills he displayed, the knowledge and lore he had shared, all of this made it very hard for you to fathom how he could be considered green or inexperienced by his people.

Instead of assuaging your anxiety, the thought of his status as a sapling amongst trees, when he was a mountain amongst pebbles to you, only heightened your apprehension; his beloved father and venerated king would take one look at you and throw you out on your very mortal ass.

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304 notes - Posted February 10, 2022

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[northeasternwind]

I posted 2,574 times in 2022

That's 1,426 more posts than 2021!

259 posts created (10%)

2,315 posts reblogged (90%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@kedreeva

@tinsnip

@bendingsignpost

@solrika

@kirby-the-gorb

I tagged 1,780 of my posts in 2022

Only 31% of my posts had no tags

#kirby - 915 posts

#fanart - 892 posts

#elden ring - 325 posts

#gif - 104 posts

#tolkien - 91 posts

#passing wind - 50 posts

#srs bsns - 44 posts

#cuties - 41 posts

#lotr - 31 posts

#video - 27 posts

Longest Tag: 132 characters

#and poor neilman had to remind everyone that reality works the way aziraphale expects it to so if he thinks it's okay to wear gloves

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

lesbians

111 notes - Posted March 10, 2022

#4

WAIT WAITWAITWAITWAITWAIT AHAHAHA

okay so it's stated by people who don't know that Radagon is Marika that godhood lineage can be passed down through adoption, ie Rennala's children became demigods after their father's remarriage not because he was also secretly a god but because that's just how godhood works. Which tracks for a fromsoft game in general tbh let's be real.

THEREFORE

PLEASE CONSIDER

DEMIGOD RYA

130 notes - Posted April 16, 2022

#3

I realized last night that in addition to Meta Knight being down to fight Morpho Knight with his bare ass hands, the novel also explicitly states that he wanted to fight so badly that his body simply teleported itself to his wayward soul's location instead of the usual plot of his soul having to return to his body.

152 notes - Posted May 19, 2022

#2

Okay so you know the fic genre where a modern person gets isekai’d into Tolkien

can we please

PLEASE

start naming our fics pROPERLY and letting the lead fuck anyone they want come on it’s 2022 give the readers what they want:

I Was Reincarnated As The Disposable Party Member, But If I Live The Story Will Be Derailed! Happy Ending In Jeopardy!

I’m A Lesbian In A Fantasy Novel, But All Three Women Are Taken!

The Nasty Goblin Guide Will Destroy The Ring This Time!

I’m A Slut (affectionate) But I Was Reincarnated As An Elf! How To Get Around The Laws And Customs of the Eldar!

I Want To Fuck The Entire Fellowship, But I Have No Combat Skills!

Queer In A Catholic Fantasy Novel?!

The Way To Protect The Male Lead’s Pointer Finger

Surviving The Novel Without Ruining The Happy Ending!

Saving The Side Character’s Cousin - I’m A Horse Girl And Love Eomer, But I Don’t Want To Be The Queen of Rohan!

Diary Of A Hobbit: I Was Left Behind To Survive The Scouring

The Villain’s Only Grandson Will Stop The Oath!

Reincarnated As The Disposable Woman?! I Won’t Let The Orcs Send Me To Valinor Early!

I Have To Share A Body And Brain With Pippin, But No One Notices Because We’re Both Doofus Babies!

literally just a stepmother’s marchen but it’s indis. LMAOFHSDJKFHDSKJFHKJH

203 notes - Posted July 17, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I want everyone here to know that my sister trained her cat to accept being picked up by picking her up at mealtimes.

And of course because she adores her cat she always gives her cat a lil smoochie.

Recently the cat has been getting Large because my sister is a sucker, so she bought an automatic feeder instead.

Problem?

Cat now refuses to eat until she’s been smooched.

249 notes - Posted May 4, 2022

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