#today was so fucking awful
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me on a random Wednesday
4:09 PM 4:07 PM
#im sorry changbin#txt#skz#beomgyu#changbin#stray kids#meme#day 6#why was he so sad :(#but the meme template just offered itself#today was so fucking awful#i walked (!!) because the bus didnt come#just on foot along a fucking big ass road while crying and having a mental breakdown#cant remember the last time i cried this hard#me a grown woman walking to my mum's place to get a hug and cry bec i couldnt handle it anymore
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drawing gojo every day as stupid pet memes until THE shibuya incident: day 42
he doesnt know whats about to happen to him
#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#gojo satoru#I had a test in both english and history today#I think I did awful in english test AND I WAS SO SURE OF MYSELF TOO#FUCK CONDITIONALS!
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Me: aaagh I have so much shit to do Sunday. Need to make sure I stay on track.
Me approximately 2 hours later: made a guy.
Made a snail yesterday too actually. Turns out it's very easy to make a terrible snail. His name is Snorbert (short for Snail Norbert, of course).
The sheep's name is southdown, for anyone curious, due to incredible resemblance between him and the southdown in my Fleece and Fiber Sourcebook.
Some baby pictures.
#snorberts a fucking mess ngl#handspun yarn#knitting#knit plushie#not done a single thing i need to do today before you ask#blocking him rn#my sister says he needs sninsides (snail insides) but sounds like an awful lot of work#the stuffing is just some rolags i hated and will never spin#actually a really good use for such wool#i have so much good nice wool and in the process have also acquired some garbage wool#so this guy is made of habdspun scrap and garbage wool
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GOD YOU GUYS . WHAT AN EPISODE !!!!!
#I AM YELLING SO MUCH FUCKING HAPPENED#im incredibly emotional about normal rn . GOD . the pride layer was everything#ALSO TAYLOR AND LINC FRIENDSHIP SO REALLLL THEIR MATH ROASTS 😭😭😭#also lincoln li Wilson kill shot today . get ‘em king#FUCK SUCH A GOOD EP#dndads#dndads spoilers#dungeons and daddies#lincoln li wilson#normal oak#oakworthy#scary marlowe#i love her guys . I missed her im so glad she’s back and being awful <33 my girl#Taylor swift dndads#hermie unworthy#hermie the unworthy#jodie foster dndads#sorry this is a bit late i was trapped in the academic system (3 hour college class)
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neuvillette's lore is actually insane. we all took one look at him and went "haha dragon🫵" but i significantly underestimated how big of a role he would play. he's the incarnation of the original hydro sovereign. he took back his rule right under the heavenly principles' nose. he's the one handing out hydro visions now (not even because he has to, he doesn't, he just grew so fond of humanity that he chooses to). he gave away the hydro gnosis bc he straight up doesn't need it. he's planning to DETHRONE ALL OF THE ARCHONS (in a few hundred years, when the traveler's not around to see it, so it won't be awkward for them). he's kind and soft-spoken. he's full of vengeful rage. he's a father to hundreds. he found his purpose after feeling lost for 500 years. skirk pulled him aside for a super-secret convo and when he saw us again he immediately spilled the tea. as far as i can tell, he spawned into existence fully formed. no other character can fucking compare
#neuvillette#genshin impact#4.2#genshin spoilers#aphelion.txt#SORRY BUT I FINALLY FINISHED THE AQs TODAY AND IM IN MY FUCKING FEELS#by all rights he should've hated focalors- the thief of the hydro sovereignty- the most.#he cried when she sacrificed herself in front of him.#he is so gentle. i think he does feel genuine indignance and anger over what happened to the dragons#but he mostly talks about the eventual judgment as if it's something he must do out of obligation and duty#i loved him in 4.0 but he honestly shot up the ranks now to being one of my favorite genshin characters of all time#i'm still in awe at how he and focalors completely defied the heavenly principles and WON.#barring some big plot twist in future updates they fucking WON.#any victory against the heavenly principles that we've seen in the story so far has been pyrrhic at best#this is the sort of thing i'd think would usually cause them to nuke fontaine with a heavenly needle#(lol that would be a devastating one-off fanfic for someone to write)#but anyway focalors most bamf god of teyvat fr#and neuvi her accomplice my special guy
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nrc is full of people who need to be studied under a microscope
#twst#twisted wonderland#twst meme#twisted wonderland meme#malleus draconia#lilia vanrouge#cater diamond#floyd leech#img post#these are so fun easy and genuinely kind of addicting to make#i will never get over the fact that silvers least favorite food is lilias cooking#literally the funniest fucking piece of information ever#(silver) please father im begging you please can we get takeout today#(lilia) aw but i just made garlic stew! your favorite. seasoned with crushed ibuprofen to keep away any strange ailments humans tend to get
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maybe this will get rocks thrown at me but i kinda hate when people call the 18+ prisoners "grown adults" as insults and ways to like... shut down any sympathy with them. how because they are "grown adults", they "should have known better". this has just always bothered me. i see it and i have to sit and stare at the wall for 10 minutes.
like. idk. being an adult does not automatically give you skills like Emotional Regulation, Impulse Control, Ability To Learn From Consequences, Ability To Plan For The Future, Critical Thinking, Interpersonal Skills, etc etc. you have to be Taught these things no matter how old you are. if you are not taught these things, and you are not supported in an environment that helps you further develop these things... you just. Aren't gonna be able to do them well.
adults just, typically, have accumulated enough experiences in life to have been able to learn these things. but not every adult has had that privilege. or some adults have had to just shut off the parts of their brain that would allow them to learn these things to be able to function at a basic level.
#milgram meta#when i see someone use the phrase ''grown adult'' in a derogatory way i just. can no longer even listen to them mfkfmsdf#me when no matter how hard i try i cant be a functional adult and then i just get insulted and dismissed instead of helped.#only leading me further into my pit of Despair#like. listen. i get this is a fictional piece of media. and at the end of the day i genuinely dont care That much. but also.#the way ppl think and talk about these things. even if its fictional. usually (but not always. im aware!) still reflects how they think irl#so Thats why i feel genuinely hurt when i see people talk like this.#but alas. i Am a grown adult so maybe i should just suck it up--#i simply should have utilized my DBT skills instead of allowing myself to develop mental illness /lhj#i did not have a good therapy session today (in fact it was fucking awful lol) so now i must Post Online#if you dont see me for a month. its because my traumas and mental illnesses unionized
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Had my boobs squished in a machine today
#aka had a mammogram lol#it was so fucking humid in Boston today it was awful#and my walk was longer than normal bc they were working on the subway#my shirt was basically soaked through#thankfully it wasn’t as bad on the way back but ugggggh#I’m so exhausted#about to eat some pizza and take a nap#shut up rian#self#me#face
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who is shardasol who is eriware i am interested in hearing about this :0 no pressure of course
to give a simple answer; it's not a "proper" plurality if you're worried about categorizing that sort of thing, but they're pretty much eridan and sollux's respective introjects of each other! it's all erisolsprites fault <3
for context, the premise of the au is that eridan has decided to self isolate on earth c, and erisolsprite has managed to end up with him due to sprite bullshit to make sure he doesnt do any Extremely stupid shit-- which blows up in his face when hes the reason eridan (and later sollux) end up getting an extra person in their brains
so then THERE is where we get shardasol and eriware :) their entire gimmick is that they're formed from extra memories of eridan and sollux that erisolsprite put in their opposite heads, and they borrowed bits of their host's personality traits, interests, and perspectives of their other to grow into the people they are. they are their own people at the end of the day! even if they like to say they're like a manifestation of eridan and sollux's heart for the other-- which is. yknow. how i've ended up with four different versions of erisol in this damn au LOL.
#tmos opens mail#elderflowerprince#eridan ampora#sollux captor#erisol#erisolsprite#they DO get proper bodies to use outside of being headmates later! but ive already drawn so much today LOL#anyways god. erisol. sharderi. solware. shardware. sharderi is my favorite im ngl its so fucking funny. shardasols so whipped#'yeah hey if sollux doesnt want you hes stupid beyond help. will literally kick his ass if he cant see how perfect you are' YOU ARE GAY!!!#and you know erisolsprite is forever suffering from all this shit#his personality donors are already dancing around each other and now theres twice as many of them being stupid#uugh desperately trying not to spoil plot beats i have mapped out vs wanting to be like LOOK AT THEMMM lmfaoo#anyways. shout out to that one user who was like 'aw they introjected each other <3' on my fanart ages ago it snowballed this into motion
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hiiii haha. hello. exceptionally awkward introduction bc idrk how to start something like this so let's just jump right in. im taking a break from this account for a bit. i know i said i wanted taob out before halloween and currently im fine sticking with that deadline, but if i decide i need longer away then i will take longer away. every time ive reassured people that id never abandon a fic and updates will always come eventually i never once considered that my writing and ability to feel safe and comfortable on this site would be actively taken from me, so im not even going to apologise. i dont want this either and more importantly i dont fucking deserve it. i dont know what it is in the past year, if ive hit a certain amount of followers or 'popularity' that's made it so the natural ratio of positive to negative interactions must in turn go up, but there's been a serious uptick in weird asks for me. the annoying part is that a very small amount of them are actually objectively mean and hateful, the rest are just weird and invasive from people who seemingly dont realise that's what they're being. ive reached a point where i dont care if the intentions are good. it's not my job as a 20 year old tumblr user of all things to defend the morality of someone who couldnt even bother to come off anon. unfortunately, after blocking only one or two anons, the weird asks have decreased substantially, which says all you need to know about the fascinating and exhilarating lives led by these people, but ive also gone on to turn anon asks off entirely. this is something i actively fought against doing and had to be pushed into by my mutuals (who have been the coolest people on planet earth during this entire thing). turning off anon was a big deal to me even if it sounds silly. i felt betrayed and like id been backed into a corner because it was so vehmently something i DIDNT WANT that to feel like i had to do it anyway for my own mental health??? that sucks. so even though ive 'fixed' the problem, im still kind of reeling and uncomfortable every time i come on tumblr. i hope it's just something i need time to ease because i'll truly be devastated if this becomes 'ruined' for me. tumblr exists as the only place in the world where i am honestly every facet of myself without shame or hesitation; losing that would be insanely harmful to me. and to the people who cant appeal to the actual human behind the post, let me put that in words you can understand: we wouldn't get any more writing 😦😦😦 riots and fires and sirens, i know. so yeah. to anyone who has sent me an anon ask and you're now wondering if you were part of the problem, im firmly of the belief that you'll know if you are. when i say 'weird asks' i dont mean 'you sent me a para about your personal life just to vent or ask for advice' or 'you sent me a really deep emotional compliment about the impact me and/or my writing has had on you' - i love asks like that, so much that i put off taking a break and turning off anon solely for the joy they bring me. im sorry that it might feel like you're being punished too bc of the actions of what in reality is a HANDFUL of weird people, but this is what i feel like i have to do to feel safe and not go insane every time i log in. love you guys, hopefully ill see you soon x
#seriously another shout out to my mutuals#id particularly like to say thank you to boom who's always right there for me no matter what's happening or how insane im being#and also everyone in our little discord that wound up having to make a whole new channel for venting#bc i was there so often like 'today's weird ask isssss.... telling me about my cupsize!! rip them to shreds!!!'#hannah and theo especially being there and pushing me to finally turn off anon. war is truly over#and of course rori bc the shamelessness u show when hating on my anon asks has been genuinely really cathartic#sometimes u really do just need a rottweiler mutual to tell random people online to kill themselves 😭#okay weird oscar acceptance speechcore gratitude over. i do just rlly love my mutuals#like i went three years not telling anyone about the worse side of internet popularity for fear of looking spoiled and ungrateful#so for the first time to open up about it and be met with outrage on my behalf and people saying in fact it's MORE fucked up#than i initially realised bc ive grown desensitised to it is. yeah cathartic i guess#they are singlehandedly reassuring me of the good this cursed app still holds#so everyone thank them and send them flowers NOW#okay im done i think. see you guys soon. i truly do want to come back asap bc like i said i NEVER EVEN WANTED TO FUCKING LEAVE#SOME ASSHOLES JUST HAD TO PUT GRENADES ON WHAT I ASSUMED WERE VERY UNIVERSAL AND OBVIOUS BOUNDARIES#if you're reading this like 'ohhh fuck i defo sent something invasive lately. i thought it was a joke/we were friends'#then 1) we arent friends if you're on anon. it immediately creates a power imbalance where you know me and any necessary context#but i have no idea who you are or how much you know about me. that's already a fucked dynamic#and 2) I HOPE YOU FEEL BAD. LIKE GENUINELY I HOPE YOU FEEL AWFUL AND HAVE A GOOD LONG LOOK AT YOURSELF#okay i think that's all. ta-ra lads??? how tf do u end something like this#ive queued this to reblog a couple more times throughout the day
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thank god i live alone because i'm giggling and laughing and kicking my feet about the phukbang and i do not feel like explaining myself to anyone
#i'm so glad they posted today i needed it so much#had an awful day at work and they fixed it!!#i fucking#love them so much i'm getting emotional again#dan and phil#phan
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well. did you fucking miss me.
#random thoughts#apologies for sounding in such a sour mood. life is fucked as of late.#scheduled post. i made this on 10.08.2024.#everything has just gone to shit. so far i've been eating less than ever. feels like my stomach is eating itself augh (':#(technically the so-called relapse started on 24.12.2023. but we are not unpacking that today or ever.)#and i am filled with this desperate urge to cut myself. really really deep. not sure how to cope with it#i also?? hate how i look??#and yet i spend all my time?? in this dark dark room?? taking pictures of my face?????#i'm not killing myself off just yet don't worry. i considered it but it won't be happening any time soon.#i originally planned on disappearing for twelve days. partly to make my friends feel bad because i'm awful#which. obviously didn't work. as i don't think anyone noticed or cared particularly.#but mostly because i can't fucking handle it. it being everything. my future feels so uncertain#i am barely alive. i love all the people in my life. but they're too far away physically and emotionally.#but yeah. back finally. although ciel disappears for a lot longer than me and if you know hym my absence would be a small stint.#ciel if you're here when i post this i love you please come back. ):#this place is so scary to come back to. i'm not sure why. i'm just. scared.#i'm not even sure if i want to return really. i'm having second thoughts now. i haven't gotten worse enough#and i can't say what that means. because in theory there's nothing wrong with me that's been speculated upon. so.#i don't think anyone would care if i disappeared for longer than this.#but being away is torture. and then again being here also sort of is. it's scary#fuck.#i can't get out of bed without feeling like shit. i don't know if i can come back. i'm so sick of everything.#if you're seeing this i'm so sorry.#I NEED TO CUT MYSELF I NEED TO CUT MYSELF NOW. I NEED TO. I MADE SO MANY PROMISES BUT I NEED TO DO IT NOW#I'VE GOT THE SCISSORS I NEED TO DO IT#I NEED TO DO IT RIGHT THE FUCK NOW#(<- tags canceled for now)
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@aluminum-angels i made an entire doodle page just to prove a point
Their relationships do not fail, they get along just fine and they love each other very much
Peace and love among my rw ocs
#auugh you people will not belive the shit i've been through today#ok so basically i was grabbing some food out and i sprinkle the cheese and im like huh this cheese kinda stale#so i give it a sniff and it STINKS and im like aw fuck well its already on my food so uhhh in the microwave this all goes maybe it will be#ok after its heated but SPOILERS it does not and actually now it smells worse so im over here trying to figure out if its worth to eat this#thing and if it will taste as bad as it smells luckly it tatsed just fine but auughh couldnt breathe while eating that but it doesnt end#there because after gulping all that stuff down suddenly everytime i breathed i could smell that stuff augh it was horrible#worst decision of my life so i needed a cure for this rancid ass stench so my lord and and saviour garlic comes in to save me#and you can just chew on that stuff no one will stop you (altho maybe someone should because eating garlic raw kinda hurts)#anyways posion neutralised but i am rather weary of cheese now#rain world#iterator#rain world oc#iterator oc#oc four blue flames#oc vision of a past#drawins
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lmao i was like 'i think i'm chill now' and then see WRONG OPINIONS about a CERTAIN GAME and nope I'm still annoyed
#god how does this series/fandom have this effect on me#it's been 10 years#i thought i was fine#i was wrong lmao#SO WRONG#granted everything is awful right now#i don't know what tf going on with my cat#and our vet is supposed to call us by COB today but clock's ticking#MY medication is also fucked right now and i was supposed to have a refill today but it got pushed back#now im depressed and i cant make anything but i also can't just relax#husbando and i are both miserable bc we're so worried about ares and we're starting to snip at each other#and um just kinda feeling like the last idk 4 years have been a never-ending series of trials and tribulations#and i would very much like a break :)#if that's not too much to ask for thank you#t: wench.txt#eta - in case i need to clarify im being facetious about wrong opinions#they're just ~*different*~ from mine
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These playlists are gonna make me cry, I can't, they're so bad...
Don't you dare try to gaslight me, Victor would NOT listen to Will Wood, leave him out out this...
Like, for actual characterization, this one had it, a lot of these songs are actually on our own Frankenstein playlist...
Heavy on HAD...
#Spotify playlists are SO SO BAD#god awful#dude if we're gonna drag will wood into fucking gothic/classic literature it's only acceptable with Jekyll and Hyde#Only time I'll let it slide besides maybe two or three of his songs that actually work with Frankenstein (Main Character and Memento Mori)#They had MSI on one of the playlists too#so bad...#Also#Tbh Necromancin' Dancin' isn't really Frankenstein either unless we're thinking of just beginning Victor#and even then making evil and the message of the song seems a bit different from Victor#more movie Victor core#The Imagine Dragons took me out though#next you're gonna tell me Weezer is on there /hj#if you want anything done right do it yourself#frankenstein#victor frankenstein#gothic lit#classic literature#gothic literature#classic lit#mary shelley#the modern prometheus#I have a deep hatred against these playlists because they're so inaccurate#please dude if you're gonna do a playlist and insist your headcanons at least make sure they make SOME SENSE#I can't#the autism is gonna win today#Can you tell I'm very passionate about this because Frankenstein is my Spin??? /hj
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hiiii ^^ beastlife fishie analysis. spoilers ahead. etc etc
okay so. the main point of this is simple. I don't think the salmon head cursed c!fishie. Explaining that is the harder part I think. also i'm going to refer to the salmon head thing in e5 as "the incident" from here on out because frankly i think it's funny
Let's start with the incident. The big day. etc. What happened? Why did it happen? Obligatory third questioning statement? Well. She was gifted the salmon head for her birthday by kiwi(or like. someone in the kiwibird system. -bird system. the birds). Immediately upon receiving it she relives parts of season one and fishie herself doesn't really acknowledge it. The other players definitely notice but im not caught up enough in any other pov yet to like have thoughts on that I'll come back to that point someday. Fishie seems shaken, sure, but she moves on so quickly, especially considering what happened just there. 37 seconds of standing frozen, unresponsive. she recovers in 5 seconds. And seeing how she reacts later on to realizing the memory situation--if she was aware that happened, she would probably be concerned by it. She puts it on for a brief second at the end of the party and takes it off immediately. She's otherwise normal -- well. as normal as she is otherwise up to that point. Because that is also how she acts with pretty much any salmon head, even just kiwi herself.
I raise: Episode one, about 8:20 in. The slow zoom on kiwi as the static overtakes every other noise. This is the *exact* same behavior displayed when fishie receives the salmon head, albeit without actual concrete old video footage style flashbacks. In episode two (28:55ish) the same thing happens when she looks at the salmon head in moch's house, but this time there is technically a flashback -- kiwis grave. Fishie moves on immediately and doesn't acknowledge her behavior at all, and, seeing as it is fishie, im inclined to believe that means she does not know she is doing it. Fishie (when alone) will discuss all of her problems in immense, and usually misguided detail (bestie i promise kiwi doesn't hate you???) to the audience and/or herself. I mean she's not alone in episode one, and it is technically presession, and i guess getting struck by lightning is a decent distraction from your problems, but in episode two? She is completely alone. There is nobody with her. She went looking for moch and moch is not there. She still doesn't acknowledge the fiveish seconds she is completely frozen. This happens again and again with kiwi and salmon heads.
And then that leads you to e5. The incident. She's. well. she's doing worse. 0:50. "This will distract me if i leave it up." This is the first mention from fishie herself about how fucking weird she's being, and even then she doesn't seem concerned. I think she does not realize she's being so so incredibly weird about it. If the static and freezing is what's referred to as "distraction" then keeping it in her inventory makes it worse actually so it wouldn't really make sense unless the way it is distracting her is NOT the. well. whatever the fuck is wrong with her (affectionate). After she puts the head on there's the static all the time but for a short brief amount of time she's like significantly more normal and i don't really know if that means anything i just think it's really funny.
And then we all know what goes on during the incident i'm not analyzing this video frame by frame. um. i could. but i am not going to right now. And then she has the conversation on the table with kiwi where she like is normal for 5 minutes. Like genuinely the most. i guess stable? fishie's thought process is is like in the moments directly after the incident. She is immediately understanding with the antikiwi situation, they come to an agreement that they're like. okay now. "thank you for everything and im so sorry i couldnt do more" / "it was short, but it was nice" "i knew what i was getting into when i married you" etc etc and then they kind of rush it at the end because people won't stop dying. But then fishie is fishie and takes it in the complete opposite extreme (from. um. whatever was wrong up until now. to "oh kiwibird must secretly hate me because" and then there's no real good reason she's just like that) and it's also an issue. And i think the season two memory thing is also a part of that but this is so long already and so i'm not going to get into it rn. So bringing all of this back to my original point: the salmon head was not the cause of the curse(?) because she's been so weird all the time forever and the salmon head thing was just like. an effect. of whatever went Wrong(tm) in the season transition. like the head was a vessel to Be Worse about it but i feel like it would have worked with any salmon head she got her hands on and that it happened to be kiwico was a coincidence and also that the head wasn't cursed at all there's just something deeply wrong with fishie s3 in general and uh yeah 👍
I'm so sorry this is so disjointed i had a thesis statement and everything. alas
#whisp whispers#fishie beastlife spoilers#since i had to rewatch videos these tags will serve as going insane about details i missed that were irrelevant to the post#i could make a whole thing on the parallels between fishie and bree. 'at least im not the only one with a troubled love life' yeah i guess#this is taking me ages to finish because if i think about beastlife fishie too long it genuinely spikes my heart rate#i think there's something wrong with me#fishie and bree both leaping at the oppurtunity to trade with their exes is so funny to me#someone should do indepth research about the way fishie interacts with dingo because i haven't been paying attention to it#by 'someone' i mean me because i'm the only one who can do that. other beastlife fan if you see this. holds out hand do you want#to make an analysis post with me .......#i appreciate kiwi trying so hard to do bug facts because bree's moth take is toooo insane for him. we can yes and the alien bit he draws th#line at incorrect moth facts though#'im neutral this is just fascinating' <-really funny in retrospect#*this is also taking so long forever because i keep distracted by whatever the fuck is wrong with everyone that i can't remember how to lik#put things into words#for what is a housewife without a house and no longer a wife?#'sorry guys it's just gonna be a lot of decorating today' YOUUUU. YOU. (<quote from beginning of e5)#ratchelor pad guitar riff is horrid on 2x speed. never do this what i'm doing right now#one of my irls is still in awe of the 6person boogie kill (or rather how nobody noticed fishie preparing the 6person boogie#is it boogey or boogie#does oku falling off a pillar and dying in the middle of fishie lore also count as a fishie proximity death#fishies curse is that people won't stop dying in the death games#also hiiiii fishieeeee you said you enjoyed analaysis. um. this one went a little off the rails i think and is more theory than analysis#posting this and disappearing off the face of the internet. cringe is dead but like. i mean you get it
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