#today was not great

[verifiablebot]

not to be personal on main but god damn i am sick of being in pain all the time

[eve-will-perceive]

sometimes you just have to lay face down and listen to weezer for a bit

[softwaring]

🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼hope he dies painfully and slowly!

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[soupwife]

now its time to bring the haterism

if you think multiple are bad vote for the one you hate the most <3

[atthebell]

awwwww phil

[hansoeii]

need some help with that?

[blakbonnet]

as an indian person, my favourite thing is seeing what people who aren't from here have done with my food; i'll go to an indian restaurant in a random corner of the world and they're putting oregano in their palak paneer or a balsamic wash on their naan and it's like "yes good tell me how you folded your culture into mine and came out with something new and lovely, we're holding hands across oceans bestie"

[expelliarmus]

[dunmesh]

never getting over mithrun accidentally creating the right circumstances leading to senshi's resolution after all those years in the dungeon and then chapters later it's senshi who unintentionally gives mithrun the final push towards accepting his new life. cheers to helping each other heal from one's trauma without even getting to know one another

[gunstellations]

happy pride!! 💙🫶🖤

[almightychiru]

Ice cream at the beach~

Happy 4th of July! <3

[grayeet]

Rainy Day ☔️

[alexandriad]

they deserve a little loooong nap

[gortashshairytits]

Do you think Bakugou would be instantly hooked on some sass? Like you’re some civilian who’s just really feeling themselves that day? Confident and on top of the world?

“Think you’re some hot shit, eh?”

You flutter your eyelashes. “I am, thank you for noticing.” And you flip your hair around and saunter off. Later when you come back down to earth you may be horrified and extremely embarrassed that you spoke to the number two Pro Hero of Japan like that

But I dunno. I think it would drive him crazy. What do y’all think?

[hajihiko]

Have a great day ✨ ❤