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justkending · 3 years ago

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Moral of the Story. Chapter Five.

Summary: Marrying too young out of highschool leads to a naive and failed marriage. Now 10 years later, word comes that the divorce was never actually completed. Bucky and Y/N have to come back together after all these years to settle what wasn’t all those years back. Passive attitudes, miscommunicated endings, and reminiscing of old loves and lives all comes back for the two.

Pairing: Bucky x Y/N

Word Count: 3200+

Chapter Five:

Once the meeting was done and over, Bucky and Y/N both left at the same time. Bucky was kind enough to hold the door open for her as they made their way back to the street, but Y/N’s goal was to get back to her car as quick as possible. So she gave him a curt thank you and moved quickly to leave.

“Y/N!” Bucky shouted just as she was less than 10 feet away. She paused with a cringe on her face before turning back to him. He was walking hesitantly to catch up with her. “Listen, I know it’s been a few years.”

“A few is an understatement,” she mumbled and he heard, but decided to move on.

“I just- I,” he stuttered. What the hell was he doing? “Would you want to get coffee? Catch up some? I-,” Before he could finish, she cut him off.

“Listen, as great as that sounds,” she tried to say nicely, but he could see the nerves in her face. “I actually have plans right after this.” He deflated some in his spot. She noticed and though she thought she wouldn’t care if she hurt him after all these years, something deep down proved that thought was wrong. “I-I just haven’t seen my family in a while, and the little time I have left here this weekend, I wanted to spend time with them where I could.”

“Right, right,” Bucky tried to brush off unbothered, but failed. “I’m sure your dad misses you, and you him.”

“Yeah, it’s been a few years. That and I haven’t been back in the city in 10 years, so I have a lot to catch up on,” she nodded.

“Wait, you haven’t been back here in 10 years?” he asked shocked. He thought she had a least been in town throughout the years. Even if he hadn’t seen her.

“Um, yeah. I kinda…” she hesitated, but figured where would the truth hurt? “Guess I wasn’t ever really ready to get back here.” Bucky knew what she meant even if she wasn’t saying it verbatim, and it hurt his heart knowing he was the cause. Well, I guess both of them were, not just him. “That plus starting up Horizon, it was hard the first few years. But the family still sees each other for the holidays.”

“That’s right. Colorado,” Bucky nodded.

Y/N had kept forgetting for some reason that Bucky and her father were with each other at least once a week most of the time. Always hanging out and doing guy things, or really, father and son types of things. Meaning he knew of, if not actually knew, Sherri, Denise, John, and Chloe too. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t know about the yearly Colorado trip.

“Right,” Y/N nodded with pursed lips, putting it all together and Bucky realized.

“Oh, God sorry. I promise I’m not stalking you, it’s just your dad and I-” he started to defend his knowledge.

“It’s fine James, really,” she said with a wave of her hand and a slight chuckle. One he never expected coming from her. And the name… He wasn’t sure the last time he heard her say Bucky. As soon as they decided to bring an end to their relationship, that nickname never passed her lips again. “I know you and my dad are close.”

“You’re not upset at that?” he asked, slightly confused.

“I’m not evil. No matter how much you may think,” she mumbled the last part. “I-I… I know the relationship you two share. You’ve had it since the beginning of time practically. I wouldn’t dream to take that from either of you.”

Bucky didn’t respond. Because all he could do was look at her with a longing look. God, he missed her. Sure he held some anger from where they ended things, but he had moved on for the most part. Now he just missed his best friend. The girl he grew up loving. From best friends to girlfriend, to eventually fiance and wife. He missed her. Just who she was as a person when resent wasn’t a feeling she had toward you.

Sure, it was a lot to think back on in just the thought that she still cared for him enough not to banish her father from him, but it spoke volumes for who she was as an individual and he missed that.

“I mean not that I really have a say in other people’s life, but if I did, I wouldn’t do such a thing,” she looked down, fidgeting in her spot seeing him staring at her like earlier all over again.

“I know you wouldn’t,” he responded, quickly noticing his stare and looking down at his own shuffling feet. “Well, in that case, I’ll let you go. Thomas has been excited beyond measures to have you home. I won’t keep you from him.”

She nodded as they made eye contact again and started to turn back to her car. But before she could get too far, knowing this may be the last time he sees her again for a while, if not ever, he had to say it.

“Y/N?” She turned at her name and sent him a questioning look. “I’m glad you’re doing ok. You seem to really be taking the world by storm like you always were going to,” he smiled softly and she blushed some before returning the smile.

“Thank you, James. You too. You seem like you’re doing some pretty amazing things yourself,” she nodded once.

They didn’t speak more than that, but instead walked back to their cars. Not without a second glance here and there.

___________________

“So? How did it go?” Thomas asked as soon as Y/N walked in through the garage door. Him and Sherri sitting at the breakfast nook with cups of coffee in hand and wide eyes ready for all the details.

“It went,” she responded, throwing her purse on the island bar stool and going to make a mug for herself.

“Wow, such a colorful description. Anything more and she’d be over doing it,” Thomas exaggerated, getting a giggle from Sherri who stood up and joined Y/N’s side grabbing the creamer and sugar for her.

“Come on now, sis. Good? Bad? Magical?” she added the last word with flare.

“Anything besides magical,” she sent a playful glare to the woman. “I will say this though.” She walked over and sat with a huff in the nook across from her father, practically deflating in her seat. “I am still technically Mrs. Barnes.”

“What?!” they both gasped.

“How?” Thomas pushed on.

“Well I guess the meeting today was just to update the papers and nothing else. I mean, yeah. A few signatures here and there, but it’s not finalized.”

“So it was just an revision meeting? When’s the final cut?” Sherri asked, leaning on the back of Thomas' chair. The two watching their daughter with intrigued eyes.

“A few days?” she said more in a question. “Matthew, our new lawyer, said him and his partner are going to update them within the next day or so, and then send us the final write up to sign. After we send those back in, it’ll all be settled.”

“You still going to have John overlook everything for extra measures?”

“Never hurts. I really would rather NOT go through all this mess again. Getting divorced once sucks, but twice? Yeah, I’d rather not have to do it a third time. And all with the same man,” Y/N sighed heavily before taking a long chug of her coffee.

The couple ahead of her sending each other a silent message to the other. Y/N hadn’t noticed as she closed her eyes at the upcoming headache, and even if she had, she wouldn’t have time to question it as her phone started going off.

Looking down, she saw the office calling her. On a Saturday?

“I have to take this. I’ll be back in one second,” she groaned, taking her coffee mug with the buzzing phone to the back patio. “Hello?”

“Y/N! Hey, I have a quick update,” Melody’s voice came through the other line.

“Why are you at the office on a Saturday?” Y/N said a little sternly, but good intentions were behind it.

“I got an email from our recycle plant we had scheduled for that Monday meeting and it couldn’t wait until Monday,” she was quick to explain. “But listen. They had to reschedule. The main guy and his wife, the bosses of the vendure who was coming to discuss the offers, had a family emergency come up and asked if they could postpone it a week.”

“Um, yeah sure. That’s fine,” Y/N shook her head trying to run the schedule through her mind. “Did you contact Bee’s Knees and let them know about the postponement?”

“Yes, and they said they were fine with it as well.”

“Ok, good,” Y/N nodded. “So I have a clear schedule besides background work Monday. Is that all?”

“Well…” Melody drug out.

“Why does that sound like a Natasha kind of ‘well’,” Y/N questioned with a quirked eyebrow. This wasn’t receptionist or assistant talk about to happen.

“Speaking of Nat, we thought because that was your only big meeting for the week and everything else is normal for the rest of the week, you should extend your stay in Brooklyn,” she replied.

“What?”

“Come on. We both agree you haven’t seen your family in far too long, and a weekend trip isn’t going to cut it. That plus, Nat made a good point that you have tons of old friends you haven't seen in way too many years either,” she went on. “Why rush catching up with everyone, if all the work you need to do can be done on your laptop from Brooklyn? That and for once, your schedule isn’t overstacked with meeting after meeting. That happens once every few months. Plus, you’re already in New York!”

“Ok, ok. Calm down there, Sparky,” Y/N chuckled at her friend being out of breath. “I mean I guess, you’re not wrong…”

“She can’t be. I’m the one who came up with all this,” Nat’s voice broke in.

“Oh, yeah. I may or may not be hanging out with Nat and Yelena,” Melody giggled bashfully. “Or be partially tipsy.”

Y/N rolled her eyes at the three, but couldn’t stop the laugh from coming out of her own mouth.

“You sneaky little bitches,” Y/N chuckled.

“What can I say? We’re Romanoff’s,” Nat smirked through the phone.

“Well, I’m a Hill, but Romanoff by descent,” Melody added in.

Again, another joking eye roll.

“Now I have to change my flights and everything,” Y/N sighed.

“Oh, woes me,” Nat mocked. “What a challenge it must be to log into your computer and change a flight to another week…”

“Hey, smartass,-”

“Lucky for you, you have me. I state once again,” Nat laughed. “I already checked into your flights to see if we can get a cheap reschedule.”

“How’d you know my login information?” Y/N asked, confused.

“I have my ways, now don’t interrupt,” she scolded before continuing. “I was able to find you a flight around the same time, plenty of time to get to your rescheduled meeting, and it won’t cost you a hair off that pretty head of yours.”

“How’d you manage that?” Y/N asked with a smirk of her own now and a pop of her hip.

“I’ll say it again since apparently you’re deaf. I have. My ways,” the red head replied.

“You sure you weren’t a spy in another life or something? Because sometimes you and Yelena have some strange tricks up your sleeves that I’ve only seen done in movies.”

“I would like the answer to that as well. Like how they coroerced me into a girls night while I was hiding in my apartment trying to take a relaxing night to read,” Melody spoke up.

“Drink your juice, babygirl,” Yelena’s voice came quietly in the back.

“With all that being said, we are gonna to let you go. We’re going to get all the details of last night out of this little one and go to a few clubs,” Nat explained.

“Oh, I’d love to hear the details when you have them,” Y/N laughed.

“I’ll have a nice 5 page paper ready for you tomorrow morning,” Yelena yelled from a distance.

“I’ll be expecting it. Now you girls go have a good time and please show Melody what she’s missing out on!”

“Can do, boss lady! Love you! See you next week!”

With that, the phone call ended and Y/N looked at the empty lock screen.

“I guess we’re staying a little longer.”

________________

“So, how’d it go?” Steve asked coming home from his early half shift.

Bucky was sprawled across the couch with a pillow over his face, a sports playback running in the background and a beer that looked like he had been nursing all afternoon on the coffee table.

“She looks great,” he mumbled into the cushion, but Steve couldn’t syfer the words.

“You’re going to have to say that again without a throw pillow over your face,” he chuckled, kicking off his shoes and throwing his keys by the door before heading to the nearby kitchen.

“I said, she looks great!” Bucky all but grunted as he sat up. Frustration and annoyance clear in his answer.

“And why do you sound like that’s a horrible thing?” Steve laughed again from the distance.

Bucky groaned as he stood up and walked into the other room with Steve. He was parading through the fridge for an afternoon snack, or by the looks of the clock on the oven, lunch.

It was 12:30 already?

“Because Steve, it makes it hurt all the more,” he pouted, crossing his arms as he leaned against the island in the middle of the space.

“Her looking good, hurts you?” Steve asked, standing up with a tupperware bowl of leftovers in his hand.

“I don’t know!” Bucky sneered at him, angry that his best friend wasn’t catching on to his feelings that even he didn’t understand. “I guess deep down, I was hoping she didn’t age well so that walking away would be easier. But there she was, walking in like fine wine. All mature and curvy, and… Perfect…” he mumbled the last part. “She did smack me though,” he added, thinking back with a dazed face.

“Smack you?” Steve chuckled, popping the cold food in the microwave.

“Our lawyer is blind. I asked a simple question of out of all the states to live in, why New York in that kind of condition?” Bucky said, hating how it sounded. “I realize now, after processing it, that was stupid and rude.”

“Hence why she smacked you,” Steve laughed, copying the brunette's stance on the opposite counter. “You’re an occupational therapist, Buck. Out of all the things to understand, it’s people adapting to their handicaps and disabilities.” He couldn’t help the laugh at his friend who seemed oblivious to the irony.

“I was nervous, ok?!” Bucky defended, throwing his arms up and going to pace the room now. “Y/N and I had been sitting in awkward silence for the most part of the meeting so far, and that was the first piece of conversation that came to mind.”

“I’m hoping for your sake, he wasn’t a dick about it.”

“He wasn’t. He actually said he gets asked that a lot. Apparently, he hasn’t been blind all his life and said he’s lived here all that time. Helps when you grow up in the environment you live in.”

“Very true,” Steve agreed, grabbing his food and stirring it around before taking a bite and talking again. “Besides her looking ‘perfect’, did the process go well? You know, besides her reprimanding you like a mom?”

“Ha ha. You’re so funny,” Bucky deadpanned. “But yes. We signed our things and updated it all. Hey, did you know she’s a co-founder of Nat’s woman’s home? I guess not a co-founder, but investor?”

Steve finished his bite and shook his head. “Can’t say I did. It must be recent if that’s the case because neither Nat or Y/N told me about that.”

“I think it is, but damn…”

“Damn what?” Steve asked.

“Well, at first she had me dropping my jaw at the fact that she did everything and more that she had hoped to do. She’s become an environmentalist like her grandmother and has started a whole business based on it.”

“I mean she was an environmentalist as soon as her GG had her walking. Remember how she would always take our straws at restaurants and have the waitress take them back so we didn’t ‘kill the turtles’? And that was before that was a like a worldwide trend,” Steve remenised, moving to the living room to eat at the couch. Bucky following.

“God, yes. She started carrying like 10 reusable straws with her as soon as they came out with them. That and remember the amount of reusable bags she had in her backseat any given time of the week?” Bucky laughed, joining him in thinking back to the dated memories.

“So many she would hand them out to people in parking lots at grocery stores to use themselves,” Steve added. “God, she really loves this planet. I admire her passion though. We need everyone to have a heart for our home like that.”

“She made it everyone's mission around her to know just how important it was,” Bucky smiled at the thought as he looked off in the distance, wrapped in the memories he loved. But that wasn’t the point. The point was he would never be close with her like that again. What they had was done and over… Or would be. “Funny thing actually…” Bucky chuckled awkwardly.

“What’s that?” Steve asked, looking at the TV in front of him.

“We may or may not still be married…”

There was a pause as Steve stopped mid-chew and slowly turned his gaze from the baseball reruns on the screen to Bucky with a tight smile.

“Excuse me?”

“I guess that wasn’t the endgame for today’s meeting…”

“What was?”

“Getting things updated and signed so that the papers were actually ready for our divorce,” Bucky answered.

“So she’s still Y/N Barnes?”

“Yes, but I wouldn’t say that to her face. She looks like she wants to physically throw up when you call her that,” Bucky slouched in his chair. His hand coming up to cover his face as he rubbed his temples with his thumb and middle finger.

“So still married?”

“Still married.”

“How long?” Steve sighed, putting his food on the counter and leaning back in his own seat.

“As long as it takes to make up the new divorce settlements and get them signed and sent back in. Until then… I’m a married man.”

If you would like to be tagged in this series, please send an ask! It keeps things more organized for me. If you comment, I most likely will not add because I loose them:)

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@taylormobley @ximaginx @vicmc624 @leyannrae @lonerlovescompany @jessyballet @angstysebfan @tita127 @semistablecentenarian @im-a-light-child @alyssahowden @studiesinspanish @natyvwe @rebekahdawkins @fanfictionjunkie1112 @millennial-teenybopper @scotlandasshole @aquariusbarnes @shinykoalacat

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nugnthopkns · 4 years ago

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dance me to the end of love (i)

word count: 4.3k

warnings: fem!oc, cursing, potential spoilers for the west wing if you've never seen the show

series masterpost: here

a/n: hi!! i am so incredibly happy to finally be putting this fic out into the world. it means an awful lot to me and i can't wait to share the little world i've created :)) x

Magdalene is content with where she’s ended up.

Denver is wonderful. Her friends are there, her cat is there, and it’s the perfect place for a fresh start. She arrived in the city nearly six years ago – a wide-eyed University of Denver freshman and has stayed put ever since. Her hometown of Aspen holds a few too many bad memories, but is close enough that she can return if an emergency calls for it. So far she hasn’t left, too engrossed in finishing her degree and moving on. There’s a job offer lined up with the university’s library upon graduation that Magdalene is ecstatic about. It means she gets to stay right where she is – where she’s comfortable.

☼☼☼☼

The sun might be shining as she exits her apartment building, but it’s cold for March. Magdalene pulls the thick scarf her best friend Bette got her for Christmas higher up her face and walks as quickly as possible to campus. There’s a brief meeting to attend with her advisor before grabbing lunch with Bette, and then her plan is to spend the rest of the day holed up in the library working on her thesis. It’s due in two weeks, with the defence in just over a month, and Magdalene is incredibly nervous. Though she’d gone through submitting her undergraduate thesis two years ago, presenting her master’s research was going to be a lot harder. She’s heard through the grapevine that the committees are being tough this year and she doesn’t want to fail.

Dr. Williams is waiting for her in his office with a smile on his face. He’s a tall man, with thin facial features and wire glasses that box him perfectly into the intimidating professor stereotype. “Miss Stevenson, please sit,” he gestures to the chair across from him.

“Gerald,” she sighs, “You can call me Magdalene, I don’t mind. Besides, it makes you quite the hypocrite if you insist I call you by your first name but you won’t use mine.” There’s no malice in her voice, just a decent amount of teasing.

The older man scoffs but concedes. “I suppose you’re right. Well then Magdalene, tell me, how are your final edits coming along?”

Magdalene spends nearly twenty minutes detailing all the elements she has tweaked since their last meeting, from the title to the citation style. She’s out of breath by the time she’s done, rambling at an impressive speed, and takes a big gasp of air while the professor mulls over her words. Dr. Williams doesn’t say anything, causing Magdalene to shift anxiously in her seat. “Sir, is there something wrong?”

He shakes his head. “Absolutely nothing,” he beams, “Everything is perfect. It’s a shame you don’t want to continue researching. You’d make a fabulous academic.”

The compliment makes Magdalene’s heart soar. It means a lot, especially coming from the person who has seen her cry over the oxford comma. “Thank you sir, but I belong in the practical realm. Someone has to file all the documents you obsessively scan.”

She leaves the building soon after, promising to stop by after she drops off the final draft in a few weeks. It’s a bit later than she expected and hopes Bette won’t be mad. There’s nothing the blonde hates more than poor time management, but Magdalene prays she’ll understand. It wasn’t that long ago and Bette was scheduling her own appointments with advisors on how to graduate. Barn Owl Book Company is located halfway between the school and her apartment, making it the perfect spot to meet. In addition to being a used book store, Barn Owl sports one of the best cafés in downtown Denver. Bette is perched delicately at her friend’s favourite seat, a bay window converted into a small nook, and typing furiously on her phone.

“Sorry I’m late,” Magdalene apologizes, “Williams talked a lot more than I expected him to.”

Bette looks up and smiles, shoving a cup in the other girl’s direction. “As always. How is he?”

Sliding into the booth, Magdalene fills her friend in on what’s been going on in their former professor’s life. Bette graduated with a minor in Classics, and it was Magdalene's major, but the former decided not to further her education and is instead doing full time charity work for the Colorado Avalanche. Her boyfriend Tyson is one of their star players, and the two of them are so smitten it makes Magdalene sick. Conversation quickly turns from school to life, which she’s grateful for.

“So,” Bette says, “Are you in for the trip this summer? I’ve got to confirm the reservation in a week or something.”

“I don’t know Bee, I'm going to be the new girl. Asking for time off like two months into the job would be rude.”

“Linny,” the blonde whines, “Please? I want you to come.”

Magdalene scowls. Bette knows just how much the nickname sours her mood but she chose to use it anyway. “Don’t call me that,” she snaps with quite a bite. “Can someone else take my spot if I decide not to go a little closer to the date?”

“Of course! Gravy said he’d fill an extra spot if one comes up so we don’t lose the deposit,” Bette blabs before trying to switch gears entirely. Magdalene cuts her off.

“Who’s Gravy?”

If her friend is exasperated by Magdalene’s lack of knowledge surrounding hockey, she doesn’t show it. Bette calmly explains that Gravy, who’s real name is Ryan, is a defenceman with the Avalanche and a good friend of Tyson’s. She also makes a point of mentioning that he’s single, to which Magdalene rolls her eyes. Bette has a masterplan for her life – which includes her best friend becoming romantically involved with an Avalanche player so the two of them can live the better half life together. As the best friend, Magdalene is constantly barraged with potential players who are looking to date. Once she went on a few dates with Mikko, but that ended fairly quickly when the two realized they were better as friends. Every time since she’s turned Bette down as gently as possible, not wanting to get involved with anyone. Her life is just starting, and Magdalene wants to be secure before settling down.

The conversation eventually shifts to what Magdalene plans to wear for both her thesis defence and graduation. Bette is fashion savvy, while Magdalene is decidedly not. Her everyday wardrobe consists of collared button-downs and sweater vests, which is supposedly never going to back a comeback, according to Bette at least. The blonde eventually wears Magdalene down, and secures a position as stylist for the graduation ceremony. There was an attempt at the thesis defence, but the other girl insists she needs to be as comfortable as possible on such a stressful occasion.

A glance to the clock on the opposite wall has Magdalene stretching her arms and giving an apologetic glance to her friend on the other side of the table. “I should go,” she says. “I’ve got to put in some serious work on my citations today, and you know Caligula doesn’t like it when I’m gone all day.”

Bette rolls her eyes, but there isn’t any frustration behind the gesture. “I swear to god Mags, your cat has more separation anxiety than I do. Speaking of, I’m supposed to pick Tyson up at the airport and I’m running behind.”

“Tell him I say hi,” Magdalene says as she wraps her arms around Bette for a quick hug.

The two girls part ways on the sidewalk, with Magdalene heading back to campus and Bette sliding into the sleek Audi she shares with her boyfriend. Headphones find their way into her ears, and Magdalene listens to a random comedy podcast. Once tucked safely inside the library she’ll put on her favourite lo-fi playlist and concentrate, but for now she just enjoys the funny anecdotes of stories past.

It’s quiet in the library for a Tuesday, though Magdalene isn’t complaining. Her favourite table, the one she swears up and down is the only reason she ever gets anything done, is open, and she all but sprints to place her bag on the worn leather chair. While setting up her work station a few of the librarians come over to offer their congratulations for her upcoming job. News certainly travels fast around here, Magdalene thinks, but accepts their generosity with a smile on her face. They leave her alone soon enough and the tedious work of double checking the formatting of every single citation in the sixty-five page paper begins.

Hours pass, and Magdalene stays working in the library until as late as she possibly can. Caligula is going to start to worry about the length of her absence soon and his anxiety response of knocking over plants is not a mess she feels like cleaning up. She packs up her laptop and walks the short distance home as fast as possible.

“Little boots, I’m home,” Magdalene parrots in a sing-song voice as she slips her jacket off her shoulders and onto the hanger. At the sound of his nickname, the small cat bounds into the entryway. “Hi darling, did you miss me?” Magdalene gets an obnoxiously loud purr in response that she takes it as a yes. She reaches down to pick up the tiny animal before continuing further into the apartment, scratching behind his ears as she does so. The two of them settle into the respectably sized couch, where they stay for the rest of the night watching reruns of The West Wing before Magdalene falls asleep.

☼☼☼☼

“You fucking did it!” Bette shrieks as she bounds towards her best friend. Magdalene braces herself for the oncoming assault, and manages to keep them both upright after Bette jumps into her arms.

Her thesis defence had just finished, and the committee found Magdalene a worthy candidate for the Master of Information Science qualification. The presentation itself was open to the public, so Bette and Tyson sat in the front row to support Magdalene, but were escorted out for the conversation that followed. The two girls had developed a code so the news could be shared in a subtle way, though Bette threw the original plan out the window as soon as she saw her friend give a sneaky thumbs up when the conference room door opened.

“Congrats Mags,” Tyson says sincerely, doing his best not to add to the growing spectacle, but Magdalene can tell he wants to give her a bone crushing hug.

“Thank you,” she smiles softly, “And thank you guys for coming. It means a lot.” As two of her closest friends, both Bette and Tyson know that her family situation is rocky at best, and having them act as her support system means more than she’ll ever be able to articulate.

The couple shares a knowing look before engulfing their friend in a hug. “We’re always going to be here for you,” Bette whispers, “No matter what.”

Magdalene’s smile is so genuine it crinkles her eyes as she wraps her arms around Bette and Tyson’s shoulders and leads them out the door and into the sunshine. The group continues to the parking lot, where they climb into Tyson’s car and drive off campus in the direction of Magdalene’s favourite restaurant. Though she had tried to convince her friends they didn’t need to celebrate, she failed, and Magdalene soon finds herself laughing hysterically over a plate of carbonara as Tyson tells a story about the shenanigans the team got up to on their last road trip.

There’s a game tonight, and Bette has somehow convinced her into attending. Magdalene knows she should go, expand her social horizons a little, but all she wants to do is curl up in bed and sleep for three weeks. Her one condition is that she can go home straight after the game without being guilted into following the group to whatever nightclub they’ll celebrate the win or drink away the loss in. Tyson has to get ready so he drops the two girls off at Magdalene's apartment complex. She’s in charge of getting Bette to the rink, and she’ll leave with her boyfriend after the game.

Once inside the confines of her home, Magdalene promptly lies on the floor. “Holy shit,” she sighs, “I did it. I fucking did it.”

“You did!” Bette says as she lies down beside her best friend. “I’m so fucking proud of you, and Tyson is too. Even if he won’t tackle you in public to prove it.”

The comment garners a laugh from Magdalene, which alerts Caligula to the presence of others in the apartment. He pads over the rug currently being occupied by two adults, and snuggles into the small space between them. Bette and Magdalene continue to lay there, petting the cat and looking back fondly on all the times Magdalene called her friend in tears because she didn’t think she could push herself any farther. Bette was always there to pick up the slack, editing whatever section Magdalene was working on or to bring over a hot meal. Her support earned her the top spot in the acknowledgements section of the thesis.

Ball Arena is already crawling with people when Magdalene pulls into the small lot for player’s and their families. Normally she parks with the general public, but Bette insists they watch this game from the better halves box, and these spaces are closer to that entrance.

“Stop dragging your feet,” the blonde chastises as Magdalene takes her time cutting the engine. “I want to get a glass of rosé before they sell out.”

Sighing, Magdalene follows her orders. “Don’t you have a special bar in the box?” she asks while locking the car.

“Yeah, but the other girls are absolute fiends. They’ll drink it all before we get there with no remorse.”

The girls climb the stairs to the better halves box, Bette chatting excitedly about the game, but Magdalene stops just before the entrance. She’s met most of the others on multiple occasions and has nothing to worry about, but she can’t help but feel anxious. Her life is so different than everyone else’s in the space, and it feels like cheating when she’s there because she isn’t romantically involved with anyone on the roster. Bette likes to joke that she’s her better half, but Magdalene knows it’s said just to calm her nerves.

“It’ll be fine,” Bette whispers while squeezing her hand, “And if you get too uncomfortable we can find some seats in the nosebleeds.”

Once inside Magdalene’s nerves dissipate. Most of the other wives and girlfriends pay her no mind, but the ones that are especially close to Bette congratulate her on passing her defence. It warms her heart a little, and the small group Magdalene finds herself in settles down to watch the game unfold.

It’s a fairly intense one between Colorado’s division rival St. Louis. Both teams are fighting for first place in the conference, and a win for the Avalanche would put them three points ahead of the Blues instead of one. Players from both sides are amped up, and more than once a scrum at the net has turned into a dog-pile. Colorado is outplaying the other team, but have still managed to find themselves a goal short heading into the final period. At the buzzer Tyson takes the face-off and is immediately shoved by a member of the opposite team. He goes down hard, and Bette squeezes Magdalene’s hand so tightly she fears it will lose blood flow. Silence falls over the arena as Tyson doesn’t immediately get up. The inside of lip finds its way between her teeth and Magdalene bites down hard, worried about her friend. She’s so focussed on Tyson that she doesn’t notice a fight breaking out.

“Holy shit, Gravy is going to town!”

The remark is made by someone Magdalene recognizes as Gabe Landeskog’s wife, and it makes her peel her eyes off of Bette’s worried features and scan the ice for some action. Sure enough, a very tall man is laying right hooks to someone who looks significantly smaller than him on the Avalanche blue line. The referees let the fight continue until Tyson drags himself off the ice and onto the bench before separating the men and throwing them in the penalty box. Magdalene can tell words are still being exchanged from both sides of the glass, but she’s more focussed on the fact Tyson doesn’t make his way to the dressing room – a good sign that allows Bette to drop her hand and let out a shaky breath.

Nothing of great importance happens until MacKinnon ties the game with seven minutes left. It happens while the Avalanche are short handed, and the goal seems to light a fire beneath the team. Magdalene may not know much about hockey, but she’s smart enough to notice the insane amount of energy all the players suddenly have. Time ticks by slowly and before she realizes it, the final face-off is taking place. Luckily it’s in the St. Louis zone and won by Colorado. The puck is tipped back to the same player who got in the fight for Tyson, Gravy, and he one times it right into the back of the net. The buzzer goes off not a second later, and the entire team piles on top of the player who just won them the game.

Bette and Magdalene join in the shrieks of the other partners, jumping from their seats in excitement. Eventually they make their way down to the hallway outside the locker room and lean against the brick while they wait for Tyson.

“You don’t have to stay,” Bette insists, “I can wait by myself.”

Magdalene shakes her head. “No way. I want to make sure he’s okay too. What good is a friend with a black eye?”

The other girl laughs at her friend’s stubbornness but doesn’t shoo her away. Once Magdalene has made a decision it’s hard to get her to sway from it, and Bette knows better than to push. Besides, who is she to deny her friend a bit more social interaction? Magdalene has spent the past six years practically holed up in the library and deserves to stand in a crowded hallway.

The friends chat idly while they wait, with Magdalene sharing some of the most ridiculous questions she got asked in her defence interview that morning. She’s mid story when Tyson exits the dressing flanked by a man dressed sharply in all black.

“Hey guys,” Tyson greets, dipping his head to place a kiss to Bette’s cheek before doing an elaborately goofy handshake with Magdalene.

“Good game baby,” Bette compliments sweetly. She then turns her attention to the boy standing awkwardly on the fringes. “You too Graves.”

He smiles shyly, muttering out a small thanks. It’s then he seems to notice the final member of the group, and offers his hand in greeting. “Hi, I’m Ryan.”

“Nice to meet you. I’m Magdalene.”

She puts two and two together on the walk to her car. The Ryan Magdalene just met is the same who will take her spot on the trip, fought someone in Tyson’s defence, and scored the game winning goal. Though they’ve only said a few words, she likes him. He seems genuine, and those people are the rarest to find.

☼☼☼☼

Magdalene is walking across a graduation stage for the final time in two days. However, she can’t find anyone to take the third ticket. The University of Denver has a stupid rule where all graduates must have three guests attend the ceremony. Bette and Tyson are obviously occupying two of Magdalene’s seats, but she’s having trouble filling the third.

“I can ask Tys if one of the guys is free,” Bette shrugs. The two girls are sitting in the window of Barn Owl drinking iced lattes and discussing what Magdalene should wear to the ceremony.

“It’s okay,” Magdalene says, “I don’t want to bother anyone. Maybe I’ll just ask June.”

Her friend’s eye roll so far back into her head Magdalene isn’t sure they won’t stay there. “You can’t ask your boss to watch you graduate Mags! Besides, Gravy owes Tyson a favour and was already looking for something to do. I’m sure he won’t mind wasting a few hours as long as he gets drinks out of it.”

There isn’t a better option, so even though she barely knows the guy, Magdalene agrees. “Make sure he gets this?" she sighs, handing her friend an envelope with a single ticket in it. "I have to go. Caligula should be done at the vet soon.”

“Say hello to little boots for me,” Bette giggles as she waves goodbye.

Hours later, tucked into her couch with a glass of wine in one hand and Caligula playing with the fingers on the other, Magdalene realizes she invited a complete stranger to her graduation and how that could be a terrible idea. Sure, Ryan sounds like a great guy from the way Bette and Tyson talk about him, but he’s only ever spoken three words to her. Since that game she’s gone out with the team a few times, but the man with the piercing stare is yet to make an appearance. Magdalene considers that perhaps he’s more like her than his profession gives him credit for, and she feels a twinge of guilt about being worried he’d cause a scene at the ceremony.

There isn’t any more time for her to fret over the third and final guest on the list. At the last minute Bette decides there’s nothing in Magdalene’s closet that’s suitable for her to wear, so a trip to a local second-hand store ensues. While it’s nice that her friend has taken their carbon footprints into consideration, Magdalene wishes it didn’t have to happen an hour and a half before the ceremony is supposed to start.

“We have to be there in twenty minutes Bette,” she frets, tapping her foot nervously against the tile flooring.

If they can’t find whatever it is Bette’s looking for, Magdalene will have to walk across the stage in denim cutoffs and a faded t-shirt with Neil Young’s face on it, which is something she’s hoping to avoid at all costs.

“Have no fear, Mags,” she says with a knowing glint in her eye, “For I have found it.” Bette holds up a hanger that is holding a beautiful long sleeve dress adorned with a whimsical floral print.

Magdalene can’t help the gasp that escapes from her. “It’s beautiful,” she breathes, “But let’s hope it fits.”

The dress does in fact fit, and the workers are kind enough to let her wear it out of the store. Bette drives at a speed that might not be the safest to travel at in downtown Denver, but she gets to the school with minutes to spare. She shoos her friends out of the car so she can go pick up Tyson and Ryan, and Magdalene checks in with little hassle. The pool of graduates is fairly small, so she chats with a few classmates while they wait for the call to put their gowns on. Time passes quicker than expected, and soon Magdalene is being directed to her seat. She zones out while the dean gives a congratulatory speech and they go through the first few names. At one point she looks backwards into the crowd to find Bette, Tyson, and Ryan all giving her a thumbs up. The nerves she didn’t even know she had settle.

A faculty member signals for Magdalene’s row to stand up, and she smoothes her dress before dutifully following the person in front of her. Giddiness bubbles in her stomach at the thought of being done school forever. A hand from the stage crew give a cue, and Magdalene appears on the stage as her accomplishment is broadcast through the microphone.

“Magdalene Stevenson is being awarded a Masters in Information Science in Archival Studies and Records Management.” It feels so good to finally be finished that she lets a tear slip as she shakes the hand of the staff member handing her the package with her diploma in it.

The rest of the ceremony passes in a blur, and before Magdalene knows it her friends are approaching to congratulate her. Bette and Tyson wrap her in a tight hug, murmuring praise in her ears. Ryan stands awkwardly to the side before Bette drags him into the celebration. The four of them stand in the courtyard where the ceremony was for much longer than needed. Bette is crying enough to refill Sloan Lake if there is ever a drought and is yet to let go of Magdalene’s figure.

It’s only when the event staff ask them to leave so they can tear down the stage does Magdalene turn to leave campus for the last time as a student. She’ll be back in a few weeks as an employee, but deep down she knows this is the last time she’ll ever feel such a deep connection to the place.

“Victory is mine, victory is mine! Great day in the morning people, victory is mine!” Magdalene yells, quoting Josh Lyman as she skips down the path towards Bette’s car.

Both Bette and Tyson are confused at the sudden outburst, not knowing what she’s talking about, but Ryan responds without missing a beat. “Should I bring you all the muffins and bagels in the land?” His response doesn’t clear anything up, but it elicits a giant smile from Magdalene, who laughs and nods in confirmation.

Sitting in the back of Bette’s Audi, on the way to a graduation party she’s supposed to know nothing about, Magdalene decides that she wants to get to know Ryan Graves better. From what she’s garnered from Bette and Tyson he’s a class act, standing up for friends and giving good advice. He likes The West Wing and showed up to a stranger’s graduation, so how bad can he be?

☼☼☼☼

additional notes: see what magdalene's graduation dress looks like here // the quote from the west wing is from 1.02 if you were curious!

☼☼☼☼

taglist: @scrunchmakar @marcoscandellas @toplinetommy (add yourself to the taglist!)

#ryan graves imagine #ryan graves x oc #ryan graves fic #colorado avalanche imagine #nhl imagine #nhl fic #hockey imagine #hockey fic #cwrites #dmtteol

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finn-ray-nal-beads · 4 years ago

Text

The Time Of The Season

A/N: Hey guys! I finally felt slightly good enough to post this and hopefully, it does this story some justice. The wedding is coming up and a surprise or two is in store before this whole craziness wraps up! All of the love from me to you and thank you for being patient with me!

Warnings: Fluff, smut, tw: slight somnophilia, tw: slight choking, tw: daddy kink, tw: breeding kink, tw: unprotected sex, creampies (because I'm so predictable), oral sex (F receiving), all kinds of warm fuzzies (because again I love these two), squirting

(PLEASE for the love of Satan let me know if I miss a tag or TW, I try to be so hyper-aware and I miss tags all the time, I am so sorry)

The light shone through the cream curtains once again in your soft bedroom. The rays of sunlight bathing the cotton sheets as you woke up to the sound of his breath panting on the back of your neck.

The baby hairs standing in goosebumps as the hot air ebbed and flowed over your soft skin. He stirred slightly, pulling you into him like a stuffed animal, forcing his morning wood to bury itself into the crevices of your asscheeks. You laughed slightly, eyes still shut, bathing in the morning sun as you listened to the morning sounds. The birds chirping, a lawnmower in the distance stirring, along with someone hammering something down the road. It was another lazy Sunday.

Flip didn't have work, and it was the only day out of the week you both truly had for the two of you together. And you both made the most out of it doing the simple tasks you loved of course, on top of planning a stressful wedding, to which you both shoved aside for this day and this day only.

It was perfect, the feeling of him tightening his grip on your waist as he began to stir awake as well. His gruff moan in between your shoulder blades hid his tired eyes to the morning sunlight. He pecked the skin with his lips, rubbing up and down your midsection as you melted into him.

“Good morning, cowboy,” you whispered, running a small hand through his bed head as he gruffed a reply back.

“Mornin’,” he rose from behind you, laying a head between your neck and shoulder as he pushed into your head massage, “how did you sleep honey?” he whispered back, kissing and licking on your earlobe.

“Mmm, so good,” you said with a slight gasp, feeling his big hand knead your naked tit, hearing his graveled voice moan in his throat as he felt your ass push back on his pelvis.

“Is my butterfly all wet?” he groaned, his cock stiffening even harder as he heard your pretty voice sing for him, “did I not do my job last night?” smiling as he trailed kisses down your neck, running his other hand to cup your cunt in his grip, your folds completely slicked with arousal.

“Jesus, honey,” he growled, inhaling your sweet floral scent as you moaned, your hips pushing into his digits as he circled your bud with his middle finger slow and steady.

“I’ll always need you, Phil,” his tip twitched hearing your gorgeously shrill voice whisper his name.

“Just say the words, Y/N, I’ll make ya feel good,” inching his cock in between your warm thighs, his eyes rolling back in his head from the touch of your supple skin on his aching member.

“Fuck me, cowboy,” gripping his cheek from behind in a searing kiss, his hips pushing his dick deep into you with a single thrust, the feeling causing the both of you to groan in pleasure as your tongues touched each other.

“So, fuckin’ good for me,” he grunted, picking up the pace as he gripped your hip in a fervor, “I love you so much, Y/N,” panting as he kissed up and down your neck, bathing your mewls for him.

“I-I love you m-most,” you gasped, his tip gliding over your walls in the most tantalizing of ways, causing you to grip at the sheets in bundles while your mouth fell open in absolute pleasure.

“T-that’s it butterfly,” he cooed, picking up his pace again, slightly, to rub even faster on that spot he came to know very well, “you cum all over this cock,” he growled, bringing his free hand to grip your throat.

Your eyes rolling back in your head as the oxygen supply was depleting. Your moans and writhing only spurring his ministrations faster as he rubbed the spot to stoke that fire to a full blaze.

The feeling was euphoric. Your release came over you in a cascade of sparkles behind your closed eyes. The waterfall began from your crown to your toes as it washed over you in a stimulated haze. His words and actions only prolonging the high as he felt your velvet cunt clench around him.

“Jesus f-fucking,” he punched in once more, the hot gravy releasing into your hole in a flood as he gritted his teeth, his head resting in between your neck still while you pet his matted hair.

“Such a good boy,” you cooed, kissing him in bliss as you felt his cum coat your walls, the warmth from the sun no match as you reveled in his release.

“Mmm, I’m glad I could help,” he panted, kissing you again, this time more sweetly as your breaths timed downward, and the highs subsided slowly.

“What are we up to today honey?” gripping your ass cheek as he slid himself out of you, making sure to stuff the dribble back up where it belonged, loving the little moans you released as he did so.

“What we usually do,” stretching yourself out while he hovered over you, kissing every inch of exposed skin and whispering pretty little things as he did so. You gripped his face after the tenth kiss on your stomach, bringing his handsome features to strike your soul as you rubbed his cheeks with your thumbs.

“I just love you,” whispering as he lowered himself to kiss you ever so softly, “so much,” your noses touching as your eyes closed in unison, taking each other in as best you could, his hands coming to rub your cheeks too.

“I love you the most,” he barely whispered, kissing you again, the feeling of his mustache tickling your upper lip in the best way.

“We should take the dogs to the market with us today,” he sat up, rubbing the side of his neck, his muscled back tensing as he groaned from the soreness.

“I think that’s a good idea, cowboy,” sitting up to bring your delicate hands to his shoulder blade, rubbing circles slow and steady as you felt him relax from your touch.

“Did you sleep on this wrong?” hearing him wince and moan as you rubbed the knot out from the muscle.

“Possibly,” he chuckled, “I’m just gettin’ old,” laughing out loud as he grunted up from the bed, heading to the bathroom to get the shower started for the two of you.

“Psh,” you threw the sheets off yourself, your naked form glowing in the sunlight with a warm glisten of sweat and beauty, “you’re anything but,” finding your way to the bathroom too.

_____________

Spring in Colorado was magical. The wildflowers were blooming everywhere you turned, the smell of the crisp mountain air, the slight bite in the wind as the clouds rolled by. It was all as if it had been in a storybook. And the city was booming with the end of Winter. Shops opened up their doors, restaurants had outdoor seating, and the most anticipated market had come back into the streets as farmers and salesmen alike showed off their wares and the people flocked from all over to get a taste of the local goods.

Flip and you loved to go on Sundays. The crowds were lesser as people were in church or doing something else for the day, and the produce was fresher and easier to spot than on any given Saturday. The flowers were also to die for; the array of colors cascaded in bright pinks, blues, indigos, and yellows all over the landscape.

The babies tagged along, clad in their sweaters to keep them warm in the breeze, and in booties to which Flip insisted as their feet needed to be protected from possible injury. They smelled the flowers, sat next to the booths with their daddy while mommy browsed through the picks of the day.

The deal always was to visit every booth regardless of a purchase or not. Your theory was that maybe you’d find something you didn’t even know you needed, to which Flip always rolled his eyes at being the bag carrier.

“Honey,” after the millionth booth it seemed, “the dogs are tired and I’m starving,” he almost whined, the babies sitting at his feet with their tongues hanging out, the bags everywhere as his hands got tired of carrying the loads.

You came out of the mecca of flowers, carrying several bouquets, “which one babe?” showing him the array you had in your arms.

“Butterfly,” he whined again, sighing as you waited for a response, “just pick one I don’t care which one it is... I just want a fucking hamburger,” watching you roll your eyes at his childlike attitude.

“Honey, please just tell me which one, I can’t decide between them,” begging him to answer with something as you were starving too.

“Fuck,” he grunted, adjusting himself so he could see them better, “I like those,” pointing at the bouquet with peonies all over them.

“I knew I loved you,” smiling ear to ear as he’d picked the exact one you wanted him to, skipping to the cashier to purchase the blooms.

He took the load to the car while you took the baby’s potty, making sure they were okay before deciding on a place to sit down and eat.

You both decided on a small bistro that had outdoor seating. A less popular one so you could sit and hear each other speak while letting the dogs lay under the chairs.

You both ordered drinks and skimmed over the menu items, settling on stuff to share rather than getting separate entrees. You loved the intimacy of having similar palates, reveling in the flavors together while you discussed details about the day, the week coming up, and just being in each other’s company.

Flip had been wound a little too tight lately. Well, he always was, but it had been elevated since this big murder case came across his desk. It was a string of them, all seemingly connected, but with no real evidence to link them together.

This frustrated him to no end, tracing back and forth on the same details, trying to find any sort of linkage, and coming up with only dead ends. The most aggravating part had to be that with every step forward in the case, there happened to always be another assault or murder stringing up to cloud the evidence in more confusion. It had to be coincidental, you kept telling him when he came home smelling of heavy cigarette smoke, there had to be a piece to this puzzle.

He always got his man. That was why he had been promoted to homicide. He was a good detective, looking through every shrivel of evidence until his eyes crossed. Not leaving any stone unturned. And if this killer was to be caught, he had to be the man to find him come Hell or high water.

But today wasn’t the day for that kind of talk. Today was the one day he found solace in being in reality. That reality, of course, being you and the life he had built out of nothing so suddenly.

He silently reveled in your musings, loving the sound of your voice as you spoke of wedding details and such. He still couldn't believe that this was his life. That you were here, changing it in all the best ways. Making it worth living and worth all the struggle it took him to get there.

He drowned in your laughter, your gestures, the way you sipped on your wine, the way the lights glimmered in your eyes and the sun shined on your skin. How the curves of your body hugged the dress you chose, the supple skin on your chest peeking from the fabric, how your eyelashes batted in the light, the way your hair flowed in the light breeze. You were mesmerizing. And you were all his… Forever.

The shimmer of that diamond on your finger stoked it all for him. The whole drama that had led up to that Godforsaken proposal. It made him shudder to his core. But in the end, it settled your lives into one. You had all the strings attached, and now they were falling into the culmination of the union. And hopefully more in the future.

He stared into your eyes, hoping and wishing that you’d want more after the vows had been said. Wanting to give you everything and more to make you the happiest forever. He never had pegged himself to be a hopeless romantic, throwing more caution to the wind as he settled night after lonely night in his bachelor pad, which had now been renovated to meet your needs on top of his.

He loved his life now. Never wanting any of it to change for the worse, and he was determined to make that perfect, even if everything else wasn’t.

“You okay honey?” gripping his free hand and rubbing the palm as you kept sipping your wine, “where’d you go?” your eyebrows furrowing slightly as you watched him snap out of his thoughts.

“Just lookin’,” He smiled, his dimples coming out to make your heart melt as he put both hands to clasp yours, bringing them to his lips to kiss the soft skin.

“Why are you so perfect?” you cooed, his smile lighting up the entire outdoors seemingly as his teeth showed.

“I’m not at all,” he laughed, rubbing your skin in his to warm your hand up from the sun setting chill.

You huffed a laugh, putting your free hand under your chin while you cocked your head to the side, melting at his preciousness.

He was your perfect match. The other half of your soul. The light and darkness, the Alpha to your Omega. And he was perfect… To you.

“You are,” whispering just above a breath, “you’re everything,” the tears threatening to spill as you reveled in the adoration from him.

“You’re my everything,” his voice matching yours as he leaned over the table, meeting your lips with his in the slightest of kisses, only to be broken by the faint whimper of Waddles.

“I think we need to get them home, honey,” he chuckled, looking at the exhausted pumpkins pawing at his boots.

“Agreed,” taking a huge swig while he gestured to the waiter for the bill.

____________

Flip had insisted on bringing every bag in, putting the contents away just how you liked them, taking the dogs out to go potty, and putting them in bed for the night, so you could get ready to relax. You tried to convince him that you could and were capable of helping, to no avail as his sternness only made it into a fight you knew you’d never win.

So you trudged upstairs, getting yourself all pampered for bed, wearing a silk slip, and putting your hair up in a messy bun while you lotioned yourself up for the evening.

You took down the sheets, the cotton feeling so soft and serene as you flipped on the salt lamp in the corner of the bedroom, making the ambiance calm and collected while you flipped some quiet music on to set the mood.

Time Of The Season softly wafted from the record player, settling you into the welcoming bed with your book while you waited for your man to slide in for the night.

You heard his heavy footsteps come up from the living room, revealing his exhausted frame as he sighed upon seeing you all ready for him.

“Are they okay?” putting your book down on your lap as you pat the side of the bed for him to lay on.

“Just fine honey,” he grunted, pulling his boots off and unbuttoning his flannel to reveal his rippling pectorals in the soft light of the bedroom.

“That’s pretty,” he huffed, seeing the slitted silky dress you’d chosen and how it contrasted with the white sheets, “I mean you look pretty in anything, but that’s…” he trailed off seeing you push your legs up and outward to reveal your bare cunt to his eyes.

“What now honey?” you moaned, snaking a finger to open up the dress more and play with your pussy in front of him.

He immediately got down to the foot of the bed, moving his head to meet within inches of your fingers, marveling at the delicate touches you made on your lips.

“So… Pretty,” eyes growing wide as he watched your hole suck your fingers, begging to be fucked by him.

“I’m so wet for you, cowboy,” shoving three fingers in as far as they could go, feeling his hot breath ghosting your thighs while he sucked hickeys on them.

“I bet those fingers aren’t big enough for you, huh, butterfly,” squeezing a huge bruise on your left inner leg, the feeling making your head fall back as he did so.

“Not even close,” you gasped, feeling his thick hand pull yours from its spot, your cunt grasping at nothing as he marveled at your hole.

“Didn’t think so,” smirking as he sucked your digits dry, moaning at the taste of you.

“Daddy will take care of you, honey,” he cooed, blowing some air on your aching clit to watch your legs shudder from the breeze.

“I’m gonna suck this cunt until your cryin’,” spreading your folds open as he latched his vacuum suction on your bud, the cry you let out reverberating on the walls of the room as your hand found the back of his head, shoving his face further into your supple cunt.

“Mhmm,” he moaned, the vibration from his throat causing you to audibly scream as he assaulted your pussy. His other hand finding your hole as it sucked two fingers in deliciously, the squelch of your cunt making his dick harder and harder as he kept going.

“P-Phil!” literally crying as he ate you out like the animal he was, the feral noises under your slip sending you in hoards of pleasure and euphoria as he sucked your clit fervently.

Your thighs twitched and shook as he kept going and going, the grip on his head tightening as he felt your walls close in on his fingers in the best way. The damn broke then, letting out a stream of cum from your cunt as you cried endlessly on his movements.

“P-Phil holy s-shi-!” his suction breaking to open his mouth to the stream of spend that coated his face so beautifully.

“I fuckin’ told ya I’d make ya cry,” he growled, pulling himself up to meet your face, “you taste so goddamn delicious,” kissing you so hard the spend dribbled down your throat too, sending you into another stimulated haze as he rubbed his tip with your gaping entrance.

“You want daddy to fuck you?” lining himself up to watch you beg for his cock, your pretty moans and eyes signaling how badly you wanted him inside you.

“O-oh f-fuck,” your mouth falling open again as he buried himself in your sweet pussy, the warm feeling coating his cock in the best way.

“God d-dammit h-honey,” he managed to grit out, speeding up his movements after he had hooked your legs to meet his chest, pushing them towards you in a pretzeled fashion as his large frame loomed over your sweat-stained bodies.

“You’re s-so fuckin’,” he strained, the muscles in his neck along with their veins protruding in the sexiest way as he shoved himself into your guts more and more.

“Use y-your words c-cowboy,” you managed to choke out, feeling your second release creep up the more he pounded into your open womb.

“T-tell me what you w-want,” grabbing his inky locks that had since become soaked, his muscles taut as he plummeted further into you, your bodies becoming one as he breathed heavily and grunted with every stroke.

“G-god I l-love you Y/N,” he said, making searing eye contact as he watched your gorgeous face conjure in absolute pleasure underneath him. He could live in this moment forever. Get lost in your perfect screams and moans for him. The way you gripped his arms to pull him even further into you as he fucked your insides raw. He loved this. He loved you like this.

“I-I love y-you P-Phil,” you managed the words, feeling your release hit you like a freight train. The warmth of his cock gliding over your walls completely overwhelming your senses. The stars blinking behind your eyes as you melted into his body, your limbs releasing just enough for him to push your legs to meet the rest of your body and the mattress below.

“F-fuck,” he grunted out, feeling your body convulse under him, his grip above the bed frame tightening as he split you completely in half, your velvet cunt fluttering around him as he came closer and closer.

“I-I’m gonna fuck a b-baby into you h-honey,” the feral groan escaping his lips going straight to your cunt as you opened your eyes again. Your big mountain man, completely falling apart over you in a sweat-covered pile of muscle and brawn.

“Y-you want that?” egging him on as you pulled him closer, your foreheads touching as he came so close.

“Mhmm f-fuck yes,” he moaned, feeling you pulse around him, loving how he mewled for you, “I-I want you so f-full of me by this time n-next year I-I won’t be able to t-take my h-hands off you,” gritting his teeth so hard at this point.

You cunt fluttering as the sinking feeling in your lower stomach came from his words. The thought of being the way he imagined, full of him, making you want it so much more than you’d ever thought before.

“What are you waiting for daddy?” you moaned, feeling his dick harden even more as he came to the edge, “knock me the fuck up,” voice above a whisper as you stared into his eyes, seeing his release as he dumped his hot seed into your core.

“M-mother of G-God,” trying not to break eye contact as he filled you with him, the hot spend feeling so good as it coated your fertile walls to the brim.

He held you both there for a few moments, spurts of cum exiting his tip as he watched your gorgeous face smile back at him, petting him and egging his release on and on.

“Such a good daddy,” whispering to him while he caught his breath, kissing your hands as his dick softened in your pussy.

“I was serious,” he looked back at you, feeling him slip out of you in a gush of spend, only to be plugged by two fingers as he sat back on shins.

He grabbed a pillow, forcing it under your hips while his digits still were lodged in your cunt.

“You’re gonna be knocked up by next year,” the smile on your face a clear indication of how you felt about the premonition.

“I can’t wait,” a low chuckle leaving his chest as he removed his fingers, lowering himself over you to kiss your perfect lips, caressing your side, and then circling over your stomach to the point of it slightly tickling.

“I can’t either butterfly,” he whispered on your lips, kissing you again and again.

_______________________

SPOILER ALERT: SARA IS A WHORE AND THIS IS GONNA GET WORSE LMAO...

Taglist: @millenialcatlady, @maybe-your-left,@sacklerscumrag,@in-silks-and-flesh-and-leather, @hopeamarsu, @historyandfandoms50, @themuseic, @iamasithprincess, @mariesackler, @sister-winter73, @daydreamsofren, @sanchosammy, @lesbiandriver, @ghoulian13, @caillea, @safarigirlsp, @roanniom, @zimmermansbrat

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(Please let me know if you would love to be added/removed from the list... Love you all and thank you for supporting my absolute trash!)

#flip zimmerman #flip zimmerman x reader #flip zimmerman x you #flip x you #flip x reader #kiss the sky #tw: somnophilia #tw: breeding kink #tw: daddy kink #tw: unprotected sex #tw: choking #flip zimmerman x female reader #flip zimmerman fluff #flip zimmerman smut #adcu fanfiction #adcu community #adcu

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jtsfavslut · 4 years ago

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Falling [G.D]

Description: Just when Y/N thought she was over Grayson, he pops back into her life, making her wonder if you could fall for the same person twice. Inspired by ‘Falling’ - Harry Styles.

Warnings: None, Just sad stuff lmao!!!

Word Count: 4K+

Also a special thanks to cole [ @blazedgraysons] for keeping up with my annoying ass questions while I wrote this, and for helping me and giving me advice I love you <333

Her small feet carried her body down the familiar street, cars zooming past her as her body softly bumped into the others around her. The loud sounds from the environment being blocked away by the soft, yet loud music that was coming out of an old pair of Airpods she had gotten for Christmas back in High School.

This was Y/N's daily routine. Get up early in the morning, do her business in the bathroom, get dressed, and walk over to her favorite cafe. The Beachwood cafe had become Y/N's second home ever since she moved to L.A, spending most of her time there, before and after class.

A smile lit up her face as the familiar blue door came into her view, a content sigh falling past her lips as she got closer to the door.

The strong smell of coffee hit her nostrils as she walked inside, music being paused as she walked fully inside, giving her attention to the cashier that greeted her every morning, "Hi Y/N, your stuff is on your table," she smiled up at Y/N before pointing towards her usual table.

It was the one by the window in the corner of the shop, the bright yellow and blue floor illuminated her small journey to the table, where her coffee and breakfast sandwich happily waited for her to approach. She sat down, hand reaching into her Yellow Kanken backpack, another Christmas gift from high school that she dearly took care of, she pulled out a brown journal and a pen.

A journal filled with memories and random thoughts that popped in her head. Y/N thought writing things down was good for the mind and body. She believed that writing things down would help you keep your thoughts safely, and lock memories into place without overworking your mind. A pen that has been through many journeys on the same yet different page.

All pages were the same until the pen went over it, recording things until the end of time. They were all the same until she wrote down her thoughts for the day.

Her small hand gripped onto the pen as she wrote down her thoughts from the previous night, coffee cup in the other hand as she slowly sipped the liquid.

Last night I thought of him again, just until I drifted off. I don't know why. It hasn't happened in months. Nothing bad, just a memoir of all of our memories together. Like the time we broke into the school's pool one night. Where he pushed me in with all my clothes on, then he jumped in and we made out by the stairs. Funny how we never got caught since cameras were around us. Or when we had our senior trips to the mountains in Colorado, and how he kept sneaking into the girls' room just to be with me. We were lucky we didn't get caught again. I tried to not keep thinking about him. I know it's time to finally drop it and move on, but how? How do I erase all those memories from my brain? How am I supposed to just drop it and move along? Just how? I don't need or want to know why just how.

She softly slammed the notebook closed, right before she could feel a slight burning in her eyes and a rock starting to form in her throat. The subject of her and a past lover that she was still holding onto, still being a deep wound to her.

She thought about and remembered Grayson every day. After all, he was her everything during her entire High School life, and he still was…...sort of. Grayson and Y/N started dating in the 9th grade, right about in the middle of the year. He asked her out behind the school's bleachers during lunchtime, a mixture of flowers from his mom's garden that she shyly accepted from him after she said yes. That was followed by their date to the movie theater, where he held her close to him every time she faked being a little scared, not that he could tell, and three dates after he officially asked her out where she said yes again, and that was followed by an accidental kiss, he was leaning towards her cheek when she accidentally moved her head to the side, causing his lips to land on hers. Neither of them complained, just smiled at each other and carried on.

They went on for 6 years, all of high school and two college years, where he decided to break it off because of distance. He went off on how being across the country from one another was hard, and the fact that the time difference from New York to California was 3 and 4. She didn't complain. Didn't give a reason as to why not, even if she had trillions of them. She didn't try to change his mind. She simply said okay, and wished him the best. She still loved him though.

The words that her grandpa had spoken replayed in her brain every time she questioned why she still thought about him; "You never stop loving anyone sugar, you just kinda love someone stronger. If you stop loving them, then you never loved them to begin with" She thought about that, and that made her feel better. Maybe there was someone out there who she would love more than she loved Grayson.

With a quiet sigh, she put her journal away, switching it with a book she picked up at the library a few days prior, yet read a million times.

To Kill A Mockingbird is a book she read many times in school, mostly everyone has. It's the one book from school she actually enjoyed, so she picked it up from the book shop down the street from her apartment before work one day, and didn't get to read it until now.

She opened the book with a small smile, the sensation of the book against her finger bringing nothing but happiness to her, and took her mind off whatever was bothering her. She lost herself in the book, almost done with half of the book before her alarm rang, signaling it was time for work. She left a 20 on the table after putting all her stuff away in her backpack and walking out of the shop and towards her job which was a paid internship at a local hospital downtown, all she did was watch and help out with minor cases like cuts, sprains, X Ray's and the occasional stuff like questioning. She entered the hospital, sanitizing herself and changing into her uniform, walking over to her area, that being the Pediatrics Emergency room where her boss, mentor, whatever you might want to call him, Dr. Reyez, and the rest of the team were waiting for her.

"Morning everyone," she chirped at the tired yet awake health care workers, who all had smiles on their faces. "Morning Y/N, you're going to be practicing by yourself today, can you handle it?" Dr. Reyez asked her, which she just nodded her head with a smile. There wasn't a single ounce of doubt in her brain.

"I'm pretty sure yes! And I can just reach out to you guys if anything, right?"

"Yeah, just page us if anything. Your first patient should be here soon, just go wait by the desk," Reyez instructed her and that's exactly what she did. She sat on the desk for over 20 minutes until someone came in with a toddler covered in rashes.

"Hi baby, I just need to ask you and mommy a few questions, yeah?" She sweetly and patiently asked the 5 year old as his mom was filling out some papers, to which he just nodded his head.

"Okay, Xavion, did you eat something new today? Maybe something you've never eaten?" She asked and both the mom and son nodded their heads.

"Do you think he was allergic to something?" The mom asked, causing Y/N to shrug.

"Well, it depends. We need to get an allergy test for him. It doesn't hurt or anything, we just scratch and pour a drop of the allergen over it and see how they react. Mom, do you happen to remember what he ate today for the first time?" She replied by recording some notes down on her clipboard before telling a nurse to get an Allergy Antibody Test ready.

"He ate everything that he usually does except for some broccoli I gave him," the mom replied and Y/N nodded her head before writing it down on her clipboard and walking them to the testing room.

Once the results came back around half an hour later, Xavion was, in fact, allergic to broccoli, and other things that Y/N had to explain to the mother. She got about 15 minutes of break time before Reyez called her another minor emergency.

"It's an 11 year old, possible breakage or sprain to the leg, you can handle this one right?" He asked and she nodded her head, "Good, they're in room 217, good luck," he added before sending her off to the room.

She quickly made her way over to it, grabbing her clipboard on the way, "Hi, I'm Dr.Y/LN, I'm going to be taking care of you guys today! May I have the child's name and date of birth please?" She nicely asked as she walked inside the room, quickly walking over to the desk area that was in the corner and placing her stuff down.

"Uhhh, Caleb Dolan, August 17, 2008," a deep voice that she could recognize from anywhere spoke as she turned around. Her heart dropped at the sight of Grayson in front of her. She tried to reassemble herself, after all, she couldn't make any mistakes right now, Reyez was trusting her and she couldn't afford to mess the opportunity up.

"Caleb, August 17, 2008," she mumbled as she wrote it down on her piece of paper, "Caleb, do you mind telling me what happened, babe?" She asked with a smile on her face. Her smile turned into a small frown as she looked up at the boy who happened to be in pain.

"Me and uncle Gray were practicing for the soccer game that's next and I fell on the mud and hit my leg really hard," he explained as she walked towards him nodding her head.

"On a scale of 1 to 10, One being okay while 10 being the worst, how would you rate the pain?" She asked, walking over to the walk to grab a pair of gloves, putting them on, and walking back towards him.

"Uhh a seven," he replied and she nodded her head.

"Okay Caleb, just know this might hurt a little okay? It's just protocol to check if it's dislocated, broken, or sprained okay?" She asked and he nodded his head, a few tears falling down his face from fear. Grayson quickly leaned down to wipe off his face whispering a quiet 'you'll be okay' as Caleb grabbed his hand.

"Can you try and move your ankle for me? Just try and move it," she explained and he muttered at quiet yes before moving his foot in a slow circle, she nodded her head before placing both hands over his ankle checking for any bumps, which there were none to find, "Luckily for you Caleb, it's just sprained! There are no bumps meaning it's not dislocated, and you can move it meaning it's not fractured! Just to make sure, we're going to need an X Ray' just to make sure there are no hidden surprises yeah? Dr. Lindsey will do those with you, and I'll be right here when you come back," she smiled up at the boy before Dr. Lindey moved him to a wheelchair and took him to the X Ray room, leaving Y/N and Grayson alone in painful silence.

"So this is what you do? This is where you work?" Grayson was the first to speak after a couple of quiet seconds,

She cleared her throat and nodded her head, placing her hands inside her white jacket, "Yeah. It's a paid internship so it's basically a job, what about you? What are you doing here?" She asked to make direct eye contact with him.

"Moved here after me and E graduated, looking for some roles and an agent," he spoke, his voice not as deep yet shakier than when he first spoke.

"Any luck with that?"

"Yeah. We've landed a few small roles here and there," he answered and she just nodded her head.

"That's good! I'm glad everything's working out for you," She gave him a genuine smile before continuing to fill out Caleb's paperwork.

"Listen, I know it's been 2 years but-," Grayson began to speak before Y/N cut him off. "-Grayson just don't. I'm at work right now, and it's enough seeing you after 2 years, but I don't really need this right now. I'm sorry," She apologized before leaving the room to get some papers before walking back in, thankfully Caleb was already in the room when she walked in.

"I'm going to wrap your ankle up with this and then you're good to go, buddy. Make sure you don't apply pressure on it for two weeks. And carefully when you're playing any sport, I don't want you back here," she said while wrapping his ankle up carefully. She gave Grayson the discharge papers, their hands touching each other for a split second before she pulled away waving them off before walking to where her team was.

"That guy was looking at you intensely," Reyez pointed out, earning a glare from her.

"Don't even start," she rolled her eyes before taking a sip from her water bottle that was on her desk.

"Wait is that the?" Jacob, one of the nurses, asked and she nodded her head.

"Yeah, that's him," she sighed, shaking her head.

"Holly shit Y/N, I knew you said he was hot, but girl? That man is hotter than-,"

"Mackenzie, don't you dare," Y/N joked towards her other co-worker, "God why do you do this to me? I was almost over him and then you put him on my path again? The universe hates me,"

"I'd go for it again if I were you," Mackenzie encouraged earning a glare from her.

"Alright, leave her alone before she starts to crumble, Mackenzie go fill out reports, Y/N go take a breather," Reyez ordered them around and they all nodded their heads, going on their way to do what they were told.

. . .

Soft snores began to quietly run past her lips as she drifted off to sleep, all before a feeling of suddenly falling down an empty whole woke her up. She shook her head letting out a quiet 'fuck' before turning to look towards the clocks on her nightstand, 3:30 AM being brightly displayed on it. Y/N let out a loud sigh, knowing she wouldn't be going back to sleep anytime soon.

Her mind suddenly clouded with knotted thoughts and notions, too many of them just to focus on a single one. She pushed her body up, just enough for her to reach over and grab the small yellow backpack that she lazily threw on the floor, pulling her journal and pen out before throwing it back on the floor.

She clicked the pen and opened the journal, blank pages waiting to be filled up, her hand delicately moved along the paper as she scribbled letters and words on the empty pages, thoughts clearing out of her head, one by one.

I saw him today. He looked different. He's grown. After it all, it has been two years. His voice is deeper too. He wanted to talk, but I said no. Maybe if I did, I would fall for him again, or something. I'm doing just fine, so why did he have to move here. Anyway, Reyez finally allowed me to take care of patients by myself today. It was fun, I liked it, I guess. Luckily I'm free tomorrow because I can't sleep at all now. Maybe it's the repeating thoughts of him running through my mind, or just simply the lack of melatonin in my body right now. I'll probably go to the park tomorrow, stop at the cafe first then make my way there, but anyway, I'm going to try and sleep now.

It was a quick entry, nothing special, just her major thoughts being written down, just enough for her to feel better. She got up from the bed walking over to the kitchen grabbing a water bottle before leaning against the counter and sipping it. She crossed her bare legs over each other, looking out of the big window in her living room. Her favorite part about the apartment? It was the window that looked down on bright LA city. Y/N could sit there for hours and not notice the time pass by, she knows this because it happened before. She left the kitchen and walked towards the window, propping her body down on the small couch she had in front of the window. She laid her head on her hand, watching the few cars that sped down the street, the small yet bright red lights disappearing into the distance as her eyes followed them until they could.

Her eyes softly closed as she laid down on the couch, drifting off into another universe. The next morning she woke up at around 8 AM, doing her daily routine, except she stopped at the Cafe, picked her things up, and made her way to the park. It was an old park, there was an old playground that seemed like it hadn't been used in years. She sat down on an old bench drinking her coffee as she watched the scenery.

She didn't take her notebook out, her mind not having any thoughts, or at least no thoughts relevant enough for her to write down. She just took her time to take her surroundings in. She admired how the wind moved the trees, yet they were so strong they didn't crack. The way the birds lifted off whatever surface they were, and drifted off into the sky. She admired the rare butterflies that randomly appeared just to disappear once again. She simply admired the earth, something that she didn't do quite often; Always being too deep in her thoughts to actually study the things around her.

"They're beautiful aren't they?" Grayson's voice spoke out of nowhere, making Y/N do a slight jump in her seat as her heart raced.

She brought her hand up to her chest, a sigh falling past her lips as she glared at Grayson who was chuckling, "You fucking scared me,"

"Sorry," he sighed, sitting down next to her.

They both let out sighs. Both knowing that there was no escaping the conversation that was about to happen, a conversation that was long due.

"You could, hmm, you could go first," she spoke after a few moments of silence, throat dried making her clear it in the middle of some of her words.

"I'm sorry about yesterday. You were working, and Ummm, it wasn't the right place or time to talk about things. I'm also sorry because I never gave you an explanation as to why we should've broken up. After all, you didn't ask anyway," He softly spoke. He thought every word through, studied each meaning before letting them run past his lips.

"I didn't ask because it's what you wanted. Your decision was clearly made. I mean, I don't think breaking up with someone is a spontaneous thought is it? Your decision was made, and if you felt like I was holding you back, then I had to let you go, if I loved you, then I think I did the right thing." Her words were careful too. And quiet, so quiet feeling that if she spoke too loud the things around her would break.

"I didn't want to break up. I felt like it was the right thing to do, you know? We were always so busy, and we made time for each other, but it was exhausting. And when you were out with friends, I felt like I was annoying you or something," he sighed and she shook her head, the thought of her ever getting annoyed at Grayson's presence being absurd.

"Oh God absolutely not," she chuckled, "I thought I was annoying you. Like I wondered if you talked about me, or not. I wanted to know if I annoyed you because I felt like I did,"

It was true. In her journal, multiple pages were filled out with her question herself on whether Grayson talked about her or not. Even after the breakup, she wondered if he'll ever need her. Most pages were about him, all of her thoughts revolved around him, always.

"I did. All the time, to the point where I said your name subconsciously," he smiled, remembering the conversations he had with his friends about her, and how great she was.

"I did too, well not say but write," she sighed, leaning her back on the bench.

"You wrote about me?"

"Grayson you know I did, that's a dumb question," She shook her head, taking a sip of the coffee that was somehow still warm.

"Do you still write about me?" He asked and she stayed quiet, not knowing whether she should answer truthfully or not.

"Honestly speaking, I do. I write about everything that comes to mind, so sometimes? Yeah," she sighed, knowing that it would be easier if they just told the truth.

Maybe this was the closure that they both needed, yet never got. Maybe this was going to help her fully move on from him, and have thoughts that don't include her.

Or maybe not. Maybe this would help them reconnect. Y/N left it all up to the universe. She was a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, and that you can't change your future since it's already written about. When she got home after a couple of hours she took a shower, lit on her favorite candles, and did the expected. She took out her notebook and wrote.

We spoke today. He told me the reason why we broke up. It wasn't an intentional meeting though, I was just admiring nature. I was looking at the butterflies I think. He randomly spoke. And I know it was long due and needed so I just told him to say it. It's better to just get it over with than to just keep pushing it back, I think. He told me why he wanted to break up, which right now, sounds like a valid reason. I just wonder why he didn't just say it back then. It would've saved me a lot of nights, don't you think? He now knows I write about him, and where I go to write about him. Maybe I shouldn't go there anymore. It sounds out of this world I know. But maybe, just maybe, I should just close that chapter in my life.

There are just too many memories of him at Beachwood. That's where he surprised me the first time he came to visit. And it's where I write about him the most. I could find another cafe near here, there's plenty.

I just wonder if we're ever going to see each other again. If I'll ever fall for him again, if that is even possible. Because I don't think you could fall for the same person twice, right?

That was the last page in her journal. All the pages filled with her delicate letters, her writing being eternal. Filled with on-going words until the end, where an unanswered question laid. The weight that was once on her shoulders began to fade, and for once in her life, the thought of her future no longer made her afraid.

This is the first time I’m proud of a something I wrote, so if this flops, I will deactivate! Just kidding, sort of. Anyways, yeah, I feel like my writing has improved, and as always, if you have any tips, and/or constructive critism, please, please, please drop them in my inbox, and don’t worry, I won’t say your hurting my feelings lmfao!!

Tag List: @guiltydols @evergreendolan @ydolanssss @rhyrhy462 @resilientdolan @simplyxdolxstyles @simplyxdolxstyles {If you wanna be added to my Tag List, just let me know :) lol}

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marcherarrant · 4 years ago

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"On this day, March 1st 2021, Marcher Arrant sets off for his biggest walk yet...a thru-hike of the Appalachian Trail."Here we go!!! This is so surreal, I can't believe this is happening! I'm excited and nervous! This is so much more than a walk. Every walk I do is. It is my way of life, my art, my therapy, my source of meaning, ect. But this walk in particular is something even more. This walk is the crossing over of a threshold. It is a self created rite of passage, a new beginning. As a Walker my I embrace a philosophy of becoming, of constant movement, of no beginning or ending, constant flux. That being said, there are moments of being, moments when flowers bloom. I'm in love with shows and movies in which you see people become their destiny. It's perhaps a banal example but the first show that comes to mind is Better Call Saul. I watched that with such joy seeing him become the sleazy lawyer he was meant to become. I was destined to become this person I have always dreamt myself to be, Marcher Arrant. This walk is where I become him fully. I made a real life flag as a symbol of that. I was born a Walker. I began walking more than those around me when I was in 6th or 7th grade. And my love for it has continually grown through the years and there have been countless thresholds I've crossed that have been pivotal in marking me for my destiny. It was around middle school or early high school that I walked from my house to downtown Columbus, a 4 hour walk. I later walked there and back. Years later I walked the tracks from Boulder, Colorado to Denver, a twelve hour walk. I ended up doing that walk a lot. Eventually I walked to Denver and back, walking for more than 24 hours without stopping. Then I started doing aimless 24 hour walks all the time. I moved to Paris. From there I did my first long distance walk, a month-long trip from Paris to Rocessvelles, Spain. That opened up a whole new door. I then walked the entire length of every street in Paris. And on and on and on... so many walks. In Paris, maybe 10 years ago now, thanks to my homie Curve (@thecurvazoid, forever grateful) I began toying with graff, came up with my character and name. I later moved to Spain and did many more walks. For most of my life my walking was something personal that I did not share with anyone. I thought it romantic, beautiful and pure that my art was just for me. But then I had a health scare and it was then I got the urge to share what I do online. I felt I had something unique to offer the world and I did not want to die without sharing it. I am glad I did because doing so gave my life so much more meaning. I then got into making art and books and fell in love with that. 2 years ago I decided that before I did another big walk that I would catch my art up to my life and make books and art from all my previous walks so that when I did the next walk I could focus for the first time on making art and a book while I was doing the walk instead of going back and doing it after the fact. I finished all the art and books for my past walks. This is the first walk where everything comes together for the first time, the walk, the art, the book, the graffiti. Also over the last two years I decided to set up for myself work so that I will always have a job no matter where in the world I am so that I can walk with no pause. I began an online English teaching business. It was a long road to be able to get enough students so that I could make a living from it. I have finally gotten to the point where I am fully booked. I begin my dream life now, a sustainable life where through art and teaching English I can walk forever and take care of myself. My dream is to spend my life walking the world, alternating from long distance walks to living in new cities and fully exploring those, walking every street and painting and making art. This is a dream come true, my idiosyncratic idea of the perfect life, a life I will never tire of, one that suits who I am in the most perfect way. I am in love with the writer Nietzsche who philosophy was about making your life a work of art, living in a way that ties together all the aspects of you into a beautiful whole. The work I have done over the past few years with the walking, the graffiti, the English teaching, the art and books, the travel and how they have all tied together at this moment, with this walk, I have accomplished this goal of making my life a work of art and tying all the aspects of my life into a harmony. No matter what happens in my life now, I can die happy having accomplished this. For me, it is a sort of intangible form of art, my greatest accomplishment. It is so hard to figure out who you are and what you want when there is no precursor to it. I am so fucking proud of myself for believing in my strange vision despite the fact that until very recently it never gave me a cent, never did anything to advance my life or do anything for me besides the meaning it gave to me. It is so hard to keep doing something that seems to everyone around you, to society, to be utterly useless. You have to be brave and trust your vision.

The hardest part of any walk for me is getting to the starting point. I grew up pretty poor. When you grow up poor, at least for me, everything seems so out of reach. You have this unconscious feeling that you would never be able to do so many things. This is great because when you do those things your mind is just blown and you are so amazed and in disbelief and you don’t take it for granted in the slightest. I never in a million years thought I would be able to live in another country. I thought that was something rich people do which is totally untrue but that is just the kind of mentality you have when you grow up poor. When I moved to Europe it was surreal. Every single day, for the ten years I lived there, I was in total awe that I was there. I did not have a single boring day. Every single day I could not believe I lived there and that did not lessen a single minute bit the entire time I lived there. It is the same way I feel about doing long distance walks. I was so amazed by the idea of the Appalachian Trail when I was a kid. But I thought only rich people could do it. The fact that I am setting out to do it today is absolutely surreal. I am in total disbelief that I am doing it. I keep getting scared that somehow something is going to happen so that I can’t do it. I don’t take it for granted in the slightest that I get to do it. It literally feels like a miracle to me. And there are so many to thank for it. First I want to thank my mom and step dad who let me live at their house rent free while I worked on starting my online English teaching business and making barely any money. I never could have started my business without them and saved the money I have. I thank my grandma, my dad and step mom, my sisters, my brother and all my family who have helped me so much. Thank you so so so much to the people who have bought art, books, stickers from me over the past couple years, people who have given me donations, people who bought shirts, pins ect. I never could have done this walk without that support and I am eternally grateful and forever in your debt. I take none of that for granted. Thank you for all the kind words, messages and comments, you have no idea how much that has helped me to keep on. You have no idea. No fucking idea. I could kiss every last one of you. These past two years have been two of the hardest years of my life. For the past year I worked 7 days a week, waking up at 4:30am. For various reasons I went through some horrendous depression, so many suicidal thoughts. So many times I wanted to take the money I saved for this walk and check myself into a mental hospital. All the positive words from people really helped me to keep on. Thank you so much. Thank you to my crew, the Abe Lincoln Brigade, Impeach, Hank, and Alamo. I’m so grateful and honored to be in a crew with such legends, people who I’ve always idolized. Thanks again to Curve (@thecurvazoid) for giving me one of the greatest gifts I’ve ever been given, the gift of getting me creating art. And thank you to Art Primo (@artprimo ) for sponsoring this walk with art supplies. Not only does this help financially but the fact that such a legendary company believes in what I do enough to give me supplies is such an honor and so fucking encouraging.

There are two new things that I am doing with this walk. One, is that I will be making art with the guidebook pages as I do the walk. I have already made art with maps from my walks, but I did it after I did the walk. This is the first time I will be making art as I am actually doing the walk. I am so in love with this idea. And I love that when I send the art it will be from whatever town I am in along the walk. I think that makes the envelope itself kinda a piece of art. Selling art along the way will also make it so I spend the money for my trip at a slower rate and hopefully not end totally broke like I usually do. The second new thing I will be doing is making it so people can follow my walk online. I have a gps device that also tracks me and sends that information to a website. I think that’s kinda fun and cool. It also makes it so if you want to meet up and you see I’m near you you can reach out. A lot of people have offered me a place to stay or just meet up and I am so disorganized that It makes it hard to remember all the people and where they live. Hopefully this helps to make meeting up possible. You can follow my walk at share.garmin.com/marcherarrant. Again, thank you all for everything!

#marcherarrant #walking art #walking artist

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fractallogic · 3 years ago

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Ffs BODY why are you doing this to me

All day long I’m all “ugh I’m so sweaty this is disgusting I hate how I smell and how I’m just …damp and there are SO MANY STAIRS who tf said it was okay to have SO MANY FUCKING STAIRS in one city”

And all day I’m like “maybe scone will be Up For It. Maybe I can convince myself to be Up For It. I should shower so I feel better. We’ve been having a ‘rest’ day today. It has been at LEAST six months since we’ve slept together both due to distance circumstances and due to these fucking antidepressants making me go ‘sex? Never heard of it’.”

And then we do the walk around the lights, which, meh. Was fine. Had a burger, which oh my fuck was very good, like not “in n out after not having it for two years” good or smashburger Arizona or Colorado state special burger good, but it was “wow this BUN??? This MEAT??? Wow this is GOOD” good. At last returned to the Airbnb. Drank a whole bunch of water because you get so very thirsty when water comes in tiny European-sized glasses at room temperature. I have never been so ready for a shower in my life, as I have thought literally every evening since the evening of the 27th of December. Sat down on the couch. Realized I felt like I was hit by a truck. “Okay all I have to do is shower and go to sleep”.

Scone goes “hm that sounds like a good idea” and I cannot possibly put two and two together until the very end of his shower when he comes back into the room where I’m laying half-asleep with my feet up the wall and goes, “so… are you tired” (which is one of the code words for “do you want to have sex”) and this wave of guilt-shame-and-too-much-water-ingesting nausea washes over me for wanting nothing more than to go to sleep but also make scone happy and AT SOME FUCKING POINT before I was on the current meds I TOO ENJOYED HAVING SEX and I excuse myself and go to the bathroom and brush my teeth trying to psyche myself up for it, but of course since I said “yes I’m exhausted I’m sorry” he took it like a reasonable human being and decided to get ready for bed, and then the guilt deepens because I am so excited to GO TO SLEEP and I also just really don’t want to be here anymore that yes, I do start crying as I try to explain that I’m sorry, it’s not him, I’m so tired, I’m so sorry, and he, like a rational human, is like no it’s okay don’t worry, I understand!! Go to bed, it’ll happen someday. And in my head I’m like BUT WHAT IF IT DOESNT. WE ARE GOING TO GET FUCKING DIVORCED AND I HAVENT SENT THE THANK YOU NOTES OUT. WE CANT GET DIVORCED WHILE YOUR GREEN CARD IS PROCESSING—and I’m too tired to stop myself from doing the catastrophization spiral, so it’s just going to sit in my brain and I’m going to let it and hope it doesn’t turn out too bad if I just acknowledge that the feelings are there and not feed the brain trolls.

And at some point I will have to have or remind him of having the conversation about hey yeah so because I have found and slept with the scum of the earth, I’ve also been emotionally and sexually abused by multiple people, so I very much love and appreciate your attitude about it, but I also need lots of reassurance that you aren’t going to be mad or something so that I can stop making long and rambling and incoherent posts on tumblr about it

Also we can cuddle, we just can’t Cuddle(tm), which is why we need to find another alternative euphemism for having sex

(IMAGINE our mutual confusion when he says “do you want to cuddle” after a date one night and I’m like hell fuck yeah I want to cuddle!!! thinking “yeah I want the biggest squishiest sidewaysest hug snuggle you can give me”, and he’s like fuck yeah let’s get naked and I’m like … what. And he’s like …??? What???? And I use my Native Speaker Intuition(tm) to go oh shit that was a EUPHEMISM that was PRAGMATICS and TABOO AVOIDANCE not literal cuddling (and then I explain it to him, only slightly more coherently than that, and go thank god you’re also a linguist so I can say that to you in that way), and so every time I have to adjust my expectations and elaborate when I go “yes let’s CUDDLE”)

#excuse me today I am deep in a pit of self-loathing apparently #please bring me out of it sleep

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fantabulisticity · 3 years ago

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Today is a productive day! I brought my car in to be fixed, paid the electric bill, and updated our roommate bills spreadsheet all before 9 am! Now I'm going back to bed for a bit, and then I'm going to finish applying for health insurance, call my old health insurance, and start looking for apartments in Colorado so I can decide which store to tranfer to so I can tell my manager as soon as possible and he can get the process started and put in a good word for me (I'm the Top Cashier at my store right now, and I'm so proud!).

Also? Yesterday was wonderful! I got my free pizza at our local fancy Italian restaurant and had a butterscotch budino for dessert (which was DECADENT 🤤), played Animal Crossing, put on some makeup, and went to my mom's place. She bought me a new bowtie! Silk, purple tiedye bowtie (that just HAPPENED to match the lipstick I decided to wear). I love it so much! Then we went boots shopping and she bought me not only new all-terrain hiking boots (literally just the same Merrels I already have that are beginning to fall apart 7-8 years after I got them, but brand new), which was the plan, but also new snow boots to replace my old heavy ones that are WAY too big for me (and very difficult to walk in)! And they're North Face brand, nice shoes, so they should last me a while, as well! After boots shopping, my mom and I were going to go to a specific nice restaurant but they were busy and my mom didn't get a reservation, so we went to the new Thai place instead, and it was delicious as always. After dinner, we went back to my mom's and looked at her physical paper road map of all the states to start planning my drive down to Colorado. I took some good notes. Then I said goodbye and went and made cake and watched half a movie with 3 of my friends. It was a great day!

From left to right: a photo of the butterscotch budino, a photo of my mom and me while wearing the purple bowtie (I covered up my mom's face in the picture), and a photo of the chocolate cake with vanilla frosting we made. The cake has a little green cocktail umbrella in the top bc I forgot to buy candles but still wanted it to look cute 😅

#i'll likely post pics of the boots later with a comparison between my old and new boots lol #i'm so FUCKING excited for my new boots 😭#they feel SO GOOD and they're SO SUPPORTIVE 😭 I can walk so confidently in them bc i'm not worried about falling all the time!#personal #food #eating

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general-kenobi357 · 3 years ago

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Someday Soon-Chapter 1

Pairing: JJ Maybank x Fem!OC

Summary: The only goal Isabella Bailer has this summer, is to have a good time with her friends, the Pogues. But when they find a ship wreck after a hurricane their summer takes an unexpected turn.

Note: So this is my first fic that I have actually properly finished and I am so excited to share it. I first posted it on Wattpad but I find that I don't really use that platform much so I wanted to post it somewhere I go on often. I hope you enjoy my twist on Outer Banks :) Also the I have written Iz to be as nondescript as I could so that you can imagine her however you want.

Word Count: 10.5k (The first chapter is really long but later on the chapters get shorter.)

🔅🔆🔅

We’re the Pogues, and our mission this summer is to have a good time, all the time.

The soft breeze brought the smell of the ocean to my nose while the sun shone brightly on my cheeks. I had to squint to see my friends through the bright rays. As the sun fell lower the day only seemed to get warmer, the beer in my hand brought a cool relief, after taking another drink a smile grew on my face as I listened to the conversation between Pope and John B.

“That’s what, a three-story fall to the deck?” Pope asked, looking up at John B who was currently balancing on one foot on the edge of the roof. We were all hanging around one of the many mini-mansions that were under construction in Figure Eight. “I give you about a one-in-three chance of survival.”

“Hm” John B replied as he stuck a finger into the air pretending to check the direction of the wind. “Should I do it?”

“Yeah, jump.” Pope quipped, pointing a drill at him. “I'll shoot you on the way down.”

“You’ll shoot me?”

“Yep. Pow!”

“They’re gonna have Japanese toilets with towel warmers.” Kie told us shocked, as she emerged from the house that was yet to be finished.

“Of course. Why wouldn’t they?” I inquired somewhat bitterly from my spot sitting next to JJ. Nothing Kooks did surprised me anymore, all they seemed to care about was their own vanity.

“This used to be a turtle habitat, but who cares about turtles, I guess?” Kie asked, sounding somewhat defeated. I sent her a sad smile, wishing I had more power to change the way things were.

“I can’t have cold towels.” JJ added sarcastically before we all directed our gaze towards John B.

“Can you please not kill yourself?” Kie asked him sweetly as he continued to lean dangerously close to the edge of the building.

“Yeah that would really ruin my summer.” I added, I had protested John B climbing onto the roof in the first place but once that boy got something into his mind, no one could change it.

“And don’t spill that beer. I’m not giving you another one.” JJ warned seconds before the can slipped through John B’s grasp and came crashing onto the deck.

“Whoa! Oh, shit.” John B exclaimed as he attempted to regain his balance on the roof, I turned to look out at the ocean again, not wanting to see him hit the deck as well.

“Of course you did. Smooth.”

“A plus.” Pope commented as he leaned over the side of the deck before looking back at the group. “Hey, uh, security’s here. Let’s wrap it up.”

“Humpty Dumpty, let’s roll.” JJ called to John B while he hopped off of the scaffolding we had been sitting on, before turning around and offering me his hand to help me get down. “Sweetheart?”

“Thank you.” I replied, accepting the hand he held out as I jumped down onto the deck.

“Yeah. Let’s go.” John B agreed as he followed us down.

“Gary, is that you?” JJ called out to the security guard as we gathered our stuff up. “It’s me. Gary, good to see you, man!”

“You’re just asking for it.” I told him as I shook my head trying to hold in my laughter.

“Get ‘em! They’re comin’ your way!” I heard one of the guards shout from behind me as I followed Kie towards the van. “Hey! Stop!”

I spared a glance behind me as I exited the house and saw the guard catching up to JJ.

“Not much of a hugger!” I heard JJ shout as he avoided the guard.

As I ran down the front steps John B pulled up in the van, Kie hopped into the passengers seat as I climbed into the back leaving the side door open for the boys to jump in whenever it was they decided to show up.

“Bus is leaving!” John B called out as he honked the horn. I peered out the back window watching as Pope started climbing over the fence, before promptly falling flat on his face. JJ hoped over next and helped him back to his feet.

“Come on, boys!” Kie called.

I held out my hand for Pope who was struggling to get into the moving van. Once both boys were inside John B stepped on the gas and we all watched Gary hopelessly chase after us. We were all left in a fit of laughter after JJ was done teasing the poor security guard.

🔅🔆🔅

The Outer Bank, Paradise on Earth. It’s the sort of place where you either have two jobs or two houses. Two tribes, one island.

All right. So there’s Figure Eight, the rich side of the island. Home of the Kooks. So, guess where we don’t live?

And then, there’s the South Side or the Cut. Home to the working class who make a living busing tables, washing yachts, running charters. The natural habitat of… drumroll, please… the Pogues.

That’s us.

Pogues, Pogies, the throwaway fish. Lowest member of the food chain. Okay. So, the downside of the Pogue life is we’re ignored and neglected. But the upside of the Pogue life? We’re ignored and neglected, which means we do whatever we want, whenever we want. So, let me introduce you to the crew.

First up… JJ Maybank, my best friend since the third grade. He's about as local as they come. Latest in a long line of fishing, drinking, smuggling, vendetta-holding salt-lifers who made their living off the water. Best surfer I know. Just don’t tell him I said that. Mild kleptomaniac and a future tax cheat.

Next up is Isabella Bailer but we just call her Iz. A former Kook up until she was ten and her dad was caught embezzling money from his company and promptly arrested, her family basically lost everything. Shortly after that she moved in next door. Definitely the Mom of the group, she basically takes care of all of us, and when she’s not cleaning up our messes, she’s working with her Mom, cleaning houses for the Kooks. Iz is the sweetest girl you’ll ever meet until you threaten her friends then you better run the other way and hope she doesn’t find you.

After Iz there’s Kiara Carrera, or Kie, as we call her. When she’s not saving turtles or listening to Marley, or getting a dolphin tattoo, she hangs out with us. I’m not really sure why though. So, she’s a rich kid, actually. Foot in both worlds. Her family owns The Wreck, this Outer Banks institution. Total cash cow with the tourists. You know, I’m not really sure how her parents feel about us. But I think we all have had a thing for her at one point or another.

Finally we have Pope Heyward, the brains of the operation… finalist for the Lucas T. Vanderhorst Merit Scholarship. And the smartest person I know. Little bit of a weirdo. His father’s this legendary character, Heyward. Anything you wanted on the island, Hayward could get for you. Now, I’m not sure Heyward knew what to make of his oddball son, but it didn’t matter. He was a Pogue, just like the rest of us.

So, that’s my crew. And my name is John Booker Routledge. I’ve been living on my own for the past nine months in an old fish shack on the marsh. The Château, as my dad used to call it. Where is my dad? Well he disappeared at sea nine months ago, looking for a shipwreck. Who disappears at sea these days? I miss him. Any other possible guardians who could look after me, might be your next question? Well Mom split when I was three. Last I heard she was in Colorado and Uncle T who is supposedly my legal guardian is currently in Mississippi, building houses…

Which means it’s just me right now, on my own, hangin’ with my friends.

🔅🔆🔅

I swung lazily in the hammock that sat between John B’s house and my own as I watched the water. The sun was starting to rise higher and I could already tell it was going to be another long hot day. I was lost in my own thoughts until I felt the hammock dip to the side. Glancing up I gave John B a small smile as he tried to readjust the balance of the hammock.

“You know I really hate this thing?” He told me still struggling.

“I know it's ‘cause you don’t know how to relax.” I replied, teasing him as I shifted to help balance the hammock after the change in weight.

“I’m gonna take it down one of these days.” He threatened, finally leaning back.

“No, I love this hammock, it's my favorite spot.”

“I know I’m only teasing you, I’m not sure you would ever talk to me again if I took away your hammock.”

“You’re damn right I wouldn't.” I told him attempting to sound serious before letting out a laugh. We laid quietly for a few minutes before I spoke up again. “So do you have big plans today?”

“Um, yes.” He responded after taking a moment to think. “I get to go down to social services and talk to some people about how there are no responsible adults in my life.”

“Oh that sounds like sooo much fun.”

“I know right? You want to come with me?”

“As much as I would love that, JJ said he was going to take me out so I could practice driving the boat.” I had my license but I was not the best driver on land and I had barely ever driven in the water.

“Oooh you and JJ alone on a boat?” John B asked, stretching out his words and wiggling an eyebrow at me. He loved to tease me about the very obvious crush that I had on JJ every chance he got. At his teasing I took the half empty beer he had brought out with him much to his protest.

“No, number one, you and I both know that I will never be brave enough to make a move, number two, no Pogue on Pogue macking and number three I think that Pope said he was coming with us.” I rambled about the many reasons why what John B was suggesting would never happen before I downed the rest of the beer and handed back the empty bottle.

“Wow, thanks, I wanted to drink that.” He commented on the bottle in the grass beside us, I shrugged my shoulders as if to tell him he should have expected it after his teasing. “Also if I were you I’d go confirm that JJ still knew this was happening because he’s inside with a girl right now and they looked like they might be awhile.”

“Seriously?” I groaned trying to cover up my jealousy with annoyance. I knew that I had no right to be jealous, JJ didn’t belong to me and I was far too scared to ever confess how I really felt, not that I could even figure out how I really felt. But it still hurt to see him with different girls all the time. “I guess I’ll go investigate.”

I quickly stood from the hammock before thinking, but it was too late. As I turned around and watched the hammock flip and John B tumble off onto the grass below.

“Thanks for the heads up.” He grumbled as I helped him to his feet.

“Sorry. I forgot how terrible you are at sitting in a hammock.” I said trying to cover the smile on my face.

“Yeah laugh it up, your friend just got attacked by a hammock, real funny.” He replied pretending to be upset as he dusted the dirt off of himself.

“I mean it is kind of funny.” I called over my shoulder as I made my way back towards The Château to find out who was around. “I’ll see you later John B.”

I stepped onto the porch only to find Pope stretched out on the couch fast asleep. ‘I suppose he won’t be joining us.’ I thought as I walked past him into the house.

In the main room Kie laid on the pull out couch blowing clouds of vapor above her. I sent her a soft smile which she returned before I turned the corner towards the bedrooms in the Château.

Only one of the room's doors was closed so I figured that was where JJ was. I raised my hand to knock on the door but the sound of a shrill giggle stopped me. I was pretty sure I didn’t want to know what was going on so my hand retracted back from the door and I walked back towards where Kie was.

I laid down beside her with a sigh. Kie shifted closer to me as we both just hung out.

“I’m pretty sure it’s some Touron who’ll be gone by the end of the week.” Kie finally spoke up, I raised my head to send her a questioning look. “The girl in there.” She added pointing to the room JJ was in.

“Oh.” I nodded laying back down. I stared back up at the ceiling, contemplating whether I wanted more details about this girl. “Was she pretty?”

“I didn’t get a good look.” She responded.

“Huh.” I responded, unsure if she was telling the truth or just trying to make me feel better. “Are you working today?” I asked, wanting to change the subject before I thought about JJ anymore.

“Um, yeah. I have to leave soon.” Kie responded, glancing at the time on her phone. “Did you want to come with me, I might be able to sneak out fries for you.”

“No, I better stay here. I think my Mom has a few things she wants me to do before the storm tonight.” I responded, I also still half hoped that JJ would want to hang out.

“Okay, well I’m sure that I’ll see you tomorrow.” She said, smiling as she stood to gather her stuff.

“Yeah, tomorrow morning we’ll all go out and check out the damage.” I responded, standing up as well.

“Love you.” She cooed, pulling me into a hug.

“Love you too.” I responded, before we both let go of each other. She then grabbed her backpack and headed for the door. “Stay safe!” I called after her as she walked towards her car.

After Kie had left I had made my way to the dock, which is where I was now sitting watching the stormy clouds that were forming out in the open water.

“Hey.” Pope spoke softly, alerting me to his presence, before he sat down next to me.

“Hey, I figured you were going to sleep all day.” I teased, sparing a glance at him.

“Yeah, I guess I was more tired than I thought.” He responded with a smile. “It looks like it’s gonna be bad.” He added, referring to the dark clouds that were beginning to move closer.

“Yeah I just hope it isn’t too loud, last year Emmy had nightmares all summer from the thunder.” I said, remembering how bad my little sister’s nightmares had gotten.

“Well there aren't any thunderstorms in Agatha’s path so there shouldn’t be much thunder this time.” He informed me.

“You are too smart for me, Pope.” I said with a smile.

“Speaking of smart things, we should bring in the boat before it ends up in a tree somewhere down the road.” He said, I looked over at the boat which had sat in the water by the dock all day, waiting for us. I was more than a little bitter over the fact that JJ had stood me up. “Iz?” Pope asked, pulling me from my thoughts.

“Oh, yeah. Sorry, yeah let’s bring in the boat.” I finally responded before standing up to help Pope.

We were able to bring in the boat before Pope had to head home to help out his Dad and I walked back to my house to help my Mom before the storm hit.

🔅🔆🔅

The next morning I woke up to the sound of someone clattering around in the kitchen. After getting dressed I walked out to see my Mom and Emmy at the kitchen table eating breakfast in the dark.

“No power?” I asked as I flipped the switch knowing nothing would happen.

“Nope.” My Mom replied as she walked past me to put her bowl in the sink. “And no water. I’m gonna pick up another tank of water from Heyward on my way home from work. Seems like the storm took out the whole island. Listen I know that you wanna hang out with your friends but I need you to take down all the storm shutters at some point.”

“Mom the day after a hurricane is a free day.” I argued, I knew better than to argue with her most of the time but I still had to try.

“I know and I’m not saying right this minute but at some point it would be nice.” She surprised me with her reply, most days I would get a lecture about talking back.

“Are you feeling okay?” I asked checking her forehead temperature.

“Yeah are you feeling okay Mommy?” Emmy parroted from behind us, one of her new hobbies.

“Yes, I’m feeling fine.” She said, swatting my hand away from her forehead. “I’m trying to be nice, this is your last summer before you graduate and I know you’ve been working a lot.”

“Okay…” I replied, still suspicious that this was some kind of trick. Quickly kissing her cheek, I grabbed my bag and kissed the top of Emmy’s head, jogging to the door I left the house before she could change her mind. “I’ll see you when you get home.”

I heard them both say goodbye as I closed the door behind me and made my way over to where John B and JJ were standing clearing branches off the HMS Pogue.

“Mornin’ boys.” I greeted the pair as I helped them finish clearing off the boat.

“Someone's in a good mood.” John B suggested as he made his way over to the side of the boat I was standing by. “You and JJ have fun?” He asked in a quieter voice.

“Nope, he completely blew me off. I don’t even think he remembered.” I replied, biting the inside of my cheek trying to not show my disappointment. “But it’s fine, today is a free day and we are going to enjoy it.” I said putting a smile back on my face as I looked over to where JJ stood oblivious to mine and John B’s conversation.

🔅🔆🔅

“Well, look who we have here.” JJ taunted as we pulled up to the Heyward’s dock.

“We have a safety meeting. Attendance mandatory.” John B added pretending to speak into a walkie talkie.

“I can’t. My Pop’s got me on lockdown.” Pope replied sadly.

“Come on, man” JJ grumbled from his spot beside me. “Your dad’s a pussy. Over.” he commented speaking into his own pretend walkie talkie. I turned to look at him surprised as I hit his arm lightly. “What? He is?” JJ tried to defend.

“Oh, I heard that, you little bastard.” Heyward scolded JJ.

“We need your son.” I said as I directed my attention to Heyward. “Island rules. Day after a hurricane’s a free day.”

“Who made that up?” Heyward demanded moving closer to the boat.

“Uh… Pentagon, I think. We have security clearance.” I added, trying to come up with excuses.

“Yeah, I have a card.” JJ tried to add to my story.

“You think I’m stupid?” Heyward challenged.

“I'll do it tomorrow. I promise. Tomorrow.” Pope told his dad, getting ready to get into the boat.

“You think... No, no. Hell no. You doin' it right now.” Heyward told Pope as he hopped into the boat. “Bring your ass back up here.”

“I promise I'll do it tomorrow, Dad.” Pope assured his father as we started to float away.

“We’ll bring him back in one piece.” I called back to Heyward as we started to speed off towards Kie’s dock.

🔅🔆🔅

After picking up Kie, Pope had taken over driving the boat and the rest of us were sitting around watching JJ attempt one of his many tricks that he had tried a million times but that never seemed to work the way he wanted it to.

“You’re getting beer in my hair!” Kie reprimanded JJ.

In an attempt to avoid the same fate as Kie I stood up from my spot beside her. But just as I got to my feet I felt the boat shift under me and jolt to the side throwing me off the edge. After a moment underwater I realized what had happened and swam back to the surface.

“Jesus, Pope!” I heard Kie berate Pope.

“You okay, JJ?” John B asked, I assumed he had also been sent overboard.

“I think my heels touched the back of my head.” I heard JJ reply from the other side of the boat.

“Kie, you okay?” John B asked, shifting his concern away from JJ.

“I’m all right.” Kie answered John B after a moment of pause. “Where’s Iz?”

“Over here.” I called from where I was treading water, a moment later I saw JJ swimming over to where I was. We made eye contact for a moment before he scanned that rest of my face with concern making sure I was good. I gave him a reassuring smile before looking back at our friends on the boat.

“Guys... I think there's a boat down there.” Pope said looking out from the ledge of the Pogue.

“Shut up. What?” Kie asked moving to look into the water. “No way.”

“No, no, guys. I'm serious. There's a boat down there.” Pope added confidently. “For real. “

“Holy shit, he's right. Let's go.” Kie said, getting ready to jump into the water.

We all dove down as deep as we could and sure enough a sunken boat was sitting below the surface.

“You guys saw that?” JJ asks as we all come up for air. A chorus of agreement followed JJ’s question as we looked at each other shocked. “That’s a Grady-White. A new one of those is like 500 Gs, easy. That’s a primo rig.”

“Yeah. That's the boat I saw when I surfed the surge.” John B informed us after we had all climbed back into the Pogue.

“You surfed the surge?” I asked, concern filling my thoughts.

“What the heck John B?” Kie added in the same tone.

“That's my boy. Pogue style.” JJ congratulated him, as John B nodded confirming what he had just said.

“Wait, wait. Do we know whose boat that is?” Pope asked curiously, wanting to know more about the wreck.

“No, but we're about to find out.” John B replied as he went to grab the anchor of the boat.

“Dude, it's too deep.” JJ warned as John B made his way over to the edge of the boat.

“Oh, for the weak and feeble, JJ.” John B challenged as he readjusted the anchor in his grip.

“Well, I'm not resuscitating you. I'm just making that clear up front.”

“That's fine.”

“Diver down, fool.” Pope said while giving John B a mock salute.

“Diver down.” We all called as JJ pushed John B off the side of the boat. We all leaned over the side of the boat anxiously waiting for John B to come back up.

“Should we go get him?” I asked the others in a concerned voice. It felt like he had been gone for ages at this point and I couldn't spot him in the murky water. Moments after I spoke John B broke the surface tension in a fit of coughs.

“Oh, my God. That took forever!” Kie said, relieved as we all allowed John B some space to climb onto the Pogue.

“I found this motel key.” John B supplied holding up the key while he got into the boat.

“Great! We salvaged a motel key.” JJ spoke sarcastically as I inspected the key that John B had found.

“Guys, we should report the wreck to the coast guard.” Kie suggested “Maybe we'll get a finder's fee.”

“Yeah, and not work all summer.” JJ added, hopefully as we speed off toward town. “Thanks, Agatha, ya batch.”

🔅🔆🔅

After an unsuccessful talk with the coast guard, as in we were completely ignored because they had no interest in what a group of teenagers had to say, we decided to head straight to the source and check out the motel.

The boat slowed down as we got closer to the motel and began to take in the scene before us. It was a disaster, mattresses thrown on the lawn, windows broken, and trees that had been uprooted or close to it. I had to wonder how much of this damage was caused by the hurricane and how much was caused by a neglectful owner.

“I thought the Château looked bad.” JJ commented from the front of the boat.

“This place is a shitshow.” John B added.

“Doesn't look like a place somebody with a Grady-White stays.” I said, confused as to why someone with such a nice boat would be staying somewhere so rundown.

“No. Looks like a place someone with a Grady-White would get killed.” Pope suggested.

“All right. Here we go.” JJ started jumping out of the boat ready to tie us to the shore. “This is your captain speaking. HMS Pogue comin' in for landing.”

“We good?” John B asked, standing beside me.

“Yeah, we good.” JJ confirmed.

“All right. Here goes nothin'.” I stated, while I tried to take the key from Pope’s hand, who had elected to stay on the boat with Kie as lookouts.

“Hey.” Pope said seriously, while he held the key just out of reach.

“Yeah?”

“Don't let them do anything stupid.”

“Yeah, I’ll try.” I gave Pope a reassuring smile as he passed me the key, still holding a look of uncertainty on his face.

“Uh, be careful.” I heard Kie tell John B from behind me. “I mean it.”

JJ offered me his hand as I jumped out of the boat but I just ignored it, still a little mad that he had forgotten about me the day before. I made eye contact with him for a moment and saw a look of confusion grace his features before disappearing. I began walking away from the boat as JJ waited a moment for John B to finish talking to Kie. I listened to them talking behind me.

“Just be so careful, John.” I heard JJ tease as I started making my way across the front lawn of the hotel.

“God, you're so weird.” John B replied.

“What was that about?”

“I don't know. Maybe she wants us to be careful?”

“Ever since she heard you're being threatened with exile, she's just been, like, <Oh! Be so careful, John B.>” JJ mimicked what Kie had told John B earlier as we started to climb the stairs to the second floor. “<Oh, just give me that John D already.> Just ask Iz she sees it too, right Iz?” JJ asked me.

I paused for a moment when I reached the top of the stairs, turning around to meet JJ’s eyes

“Are you done?” I asked in a sour tone.

“What?” He responded with confusion evident in his voice and the smile falling from his face. I rolled my eyes before turning around and beginning to count room numbers. “Why are you so mad at only me? What’d I do?”

“Dude.” I heard John B start saying. “You completely blew her off yesterday.”

I was curious what else they said to each other but their voices became muffled as I walked too far ahead. Stopping at the end of the hall in front of room twenty-nine. I turned to find the boys jogging towards me, John B gave me a small smile and JJ had a look that almost resembled remorse on his face.

“This is it?” John B asked as JJ took the key that I was holding up in front of me.

“Housekeeping.” JJ called out in a shrill voice knocking a few times on the door.

“Should we try it?” John B asked, pointing to the key in JJ’s hand.

“No power. No security cameras. No one's gonna know.” JJ reasoned as he pushed the key into the lock. It felt like we could still get in trouble if we were caught but before I could voice my concerns JJ was already half way into the room.

“Huh.” I muttered, as the two of us followed JJ in. It was dark and smelled of mildew, definitely not the kind of place someone would stay if they had the funds to buy a Grady-White.

“Check the bag. See if there's a name on there somewhere.” John B instructed JJ as I moved past the pair to open the blinds at the side of the room.

“A jacket.”

“No name on the jacket?”

“No. It's a nice jacket, though.”

“Definitely over 50. He's got New Balances.”

I listened to their conversation as I walked across the small room into the bathroom. As I moved through the bathroom and rustled through the medicine cabinet, I heard the beeping of a safe in the other room.

“Uh… JJ? Iz? You’re gonna want to see this” I heard John B call from the other room.

Entering the room I looked at John B first who was looking over to where JJ stood with wide eyes. Following John B’s line of sight my own eyes widened as I realized what JJ was holding.

“Is that a gun?” I asked as if it could be anything else.

“Put the gun back, JJ!” John B tried to reason with him.

“This is a fucking spendy gatt, man. Just…” JJ said, eyes wide like a kid in a candy store. “Bam! Bam!” He mimicked the sound of a gun as he pointed it around the room.

“JJ, we’re not stealing anything.” John B told him for the hundredth time.

“Just take a pic of me. Right here.” JJ pleaded with John B, but my attention had shifted to the sound of a rock landing on the window sill.

I pushed past the boys as they continued arguing with each other, and looked out the window.

“Cops. Cops!” I could see Kie and Pope whisper yell while they pointed in the direction of the door. Turning around quickly I waved at the boys to get their attention.

“Guys, the cops are here.” I told them in a hushed tone. John B moved towards the door to see if he could hear anything. “How are we gonna get out?” I asked them, feeling panic start to rise through my chest.

“Out the window?” John B suggested as he pushed open the small window as far as it would go.

With John B out first and standing to the right of the window, I followed quickly behind him moving to the left so that JJ could get out. In an attempt to keep us from being seen JJ pressed me against the wall of the motel, which meant that I was now pinned between him and the wall. My chest rose and fell unevenly as I squeezed my eyes shut hoping the cops couldn’t see us. As we we’re standing on the ledge I felt JJ’s hand grab on to mine and give it a reassuring squeeze.

“Listen Sweetheart, I’m sorry I ditched you yesterday. I didn’t mean to forget.” JJ whispered to me, his head was right next to my ear and I could feel his breath fan out against my skin as he spoke.

“As much as I appreciate your apology, I really don’t think this is the time JJ.” I whispered back terrified of every word that left my tongue.

“Yeah, yeah, you’re right, sorry.” JJ replied, shifting his weight slightly.

“Guys! Shut. Up.” John B whisper yelled from where he stood on the ledge.

As we both turned to look at John B I felt cold metal touch my free hand, startling me I pulled my hand back swiftly and as I did I heard a clattering as something fell from the ledge.

“JJ, tell me that wasn’t what I think it was?” I demanded as quietly as I could.

“Well you tell me what you think it was and then I’ll tell you it wasn’t.” He said and I could hear the smirk in his voice, shocking me that he could still be joking when we were about to be caught at any moment, I rolled my eyes at him.

🔅🔆🔅

After our narrow escape from the motel, myself and the Pogues were headed towards town, discussing what we were going to do next.

“The cops took everything like it was a crime scene.” John B stated still sounding shocked at what he had seen back at the motel.

“Did you guys find anything?” Pope asked us curiously. My gaze shifted to JJ as I already knew what he had taken.

“Did we find anything? No, I don't think so. Oh, yeah, we did.” JJ responded smiling as he held up the gun, and to my surprise a wad of cash. I let my head fall into my hands wondering how JJ could be so dumb.

“What the hell?” Pope asked standing, panic written all over his features.

“Dude, chill.” JJ started walking over to where Pope stood. “Better than cops having it.”

“I'm gonna lose my merit scholarship.”

“Hey, hey, hey. Sh, sh, sh, sh, sh.” JJ said, grabbing Pope by the shoulders in an attempt to calm him down. “At least you have us, right?”

“I'm living the nightmare.”

🔅🔆🔅

After a trip to the marina and witnessing Scooter Grubbs get taken away by a coroner, we were back at the Château trying to figure out what to do next.

“Okay. So, um... we didn't see anything.” Pope spoke up as he paced in front of us all. “We don't know anything. We need to have total and complete amnesia.”

“Actually, Pope's right for once.” JJ stated, looking at us all. “See, I agree with you sometimes.” He assured Pope. “Deny, deny, deny.”

“Guys, we can't keep that money.” Kie piped into the conversation. “We have to pass that off to Lana Grubbs. Otherwise, it's bad karma.”

“Bad karma to be implicated in a felony, too.” I added referring to the gun JJ was still in possession of.

“We gotta go dark.” Pope suggested.

“None of it makes sense.” John B finally said, breaking his silence. “This is Scooter Grubbs we're talking about. Same dude that's buying individual cigarettes at the Porthole. Shit, one time I saw this dude begging for change in the Save-A-Lot parking lot because he needed gas. We're talking about a dirtbag marina rat who's never had more than 40 bucks in his pocket, and all of a sudden, he's got a Grady-White? Just sayin'.”

“So how does a marina rat get a Grady-White?” I asked, thinking out loud.

“Prostitution.” Pope suggested making me laugh under my breath.

“Okay...” John B stated, trying to move past Pope's comment. “Or maybe they're trying to fly under the radar, no aerial surveillance. They don't do that stuff during a hurricane. What does that mean? JJ?”

“They were straight smugglin'.” JJ finished John B’s thought.

“Smugglin'.” John B confirmed. “And I guarantee there's a serious amount of contraband in that wreck.”

“For the record, if that is a smuggling ship with illegal contraband on the inside of it…” Pope said and I could tell he was thinking about all the terrible outcomes. “...it probably belongs to someone else.”

“Minor details.”

“They could come looking for it.” Pope warned. “Taking it would be catastrophically stupid.”

“Right. Well, stupid things have good outcomes all the time.” JJ reasoned holding up the money that he had now decided belonged to us. “All we need to do is figure out a way to get into the cargo hold of that wreck.”

“Until then, we just lay low. Just act normal.” John B added.

“Right. And how exactly do we do that?” I asked. I still felt like Pope was making a lot of good points that the others were not listening to.

“Kegger?” Kie suggested looking at the rest of us for confirmation.

🔅🔆🔅

You can't understand the Outer Banks without understanding the boneyard. It's kinda like a three-layer burrito. There's us and our friends, the working-class derelicts. Then, there are the Kooks, the rich second-homers. They're mostly from poncey-ass boarding schools, just rich trustafarian posers. Our natural enemies. And then, there are the Tourons. Totally clueless. Here for a week on vacation with their families. Chum for the sharks.

Later in the day after the sun had set, the kegger was coming to life, basically the entirety of the island's teen population was in attendance and the beach was getting pretty crowded. Earlier on I had been hanging around with JJ, all had been forgiven between us and we were back to cracking jokes.

Up until JJ spotted a girl he wanted to flirt with and I was left alone. Since then I had started chatting with a couple of Tourons who had taken one surfing lesson earlier in the week and now thought they knew everything about the sport. Desperate to make my escape I searched through the crowd for my friends. Just as I was about to make up an excuse I heard shouting from the water.

“Sorry, I have to go.” I told the pair lamely. “I think that’s my friends calling me.”

“Okay. Bye.” They replied as I walked away.

Much to my horror, once I had reached the shore it turned out to actually be my friends shouting, and the shouting had turned into a full out fight. I recognized John B in the water but the Kook he was fighting had their back facing me. I pushed my way through the crowd once I spotted Kie and made my way to stand beside her.

“What the hell is going on?” I asked, looking at her face which was covered in fear.

“Topper and John B started arguing and now they're trying to kill each other.” Kie answered, watching as the fight got worse. That’s when I noticed the Kook Princess, Sarah Cameron, trying to calm down her angry boyfriend.

I used to know Topper when I was young. We had been friends but when I had moved to the Cut we lost touch. Now as he stood over John B I barely recognized him. He wasn’t the young boy I had once known, now he was a cruel person who thought he was better than others just because his parents had money.

“Hey, John B, don't make me drown you like your old man, all right?” I heard Topper challenge John B.

After that comment I had had enough and I was desperately looking around the crowd trying to figure out what I could do to stop them. I felt useless as I definitely couldn’t just jump in there, I had no idea how to fight. But we had to do something before Topper killed John B.

As my eyes scanned the crowd I noticed JJ who was already looking at me. His once bright eyes looked dark and it seemed like he knew exactly what he was about to do. I shook my head as I tried to make my way over to him, but he was already stalking towards where Topper and John B fought. I had a feeling I knew what he was about to do but I didn’t want to believe it.

I held my breath as I heard the crowd go silent when JJ clicked the gun's safety off.

“Yeah, you know what that is.” JJ threatened as Topper pulled away from John B. “Your move, broski.”

“Come on. Chill, dude!” Topper responded, trying to reason with him.

“Put the gun down.” Sarah cried desperately.

“Did you say somethin', Princess?” JJ asked, not taking his eyes off of Topper.

“We're good. We're good.” Topper tried to tell him, raising his hands in surrender.

“Kie! Iz! Can you check your psycho friend, please?” I heard Sarah screaming behind me pulling me out of the trance I had been frozen in. I took a few steps closer to JJ but I didn’t want to get too close when he had a gun pointed at someone. I had seen him get in fights before but never like this, this was different. I really thought that he might kill Topper and that terrified me.

“JJ.” I spoke softly so as to not startle him. He turned to glance back at me but kept the gun pointed at Topper who was looking back at us. “Think about what you’re doing.” I continued speaking calmly, meanwhile I could hear Sarah practically sobbing behind me. “You have to let him go.” I said, at this JJ nodded ever so slightly before pulling the gun away from Topper.

“Okay, everyone, listen up! Get the hell off our side of the island!” JJ yelled into the crowd of people before shooting the gun into the air.

The second JJ moved Topper was out of sight and Sarah wasn’t far behind. While Kie and Pope began to berate JJ over his actions I ran into the water to go check on John B.

“Hey, are you okay?” I asked John B once I reached him, holding his shoulders so he wouldn’t fall back into the water. He mumbled back something incoherent as he swayed in my grasp. “Guys! Can you help?” I asked the three Pogues who still stood arguing behind me.

With their help we got John B out of the water and closer to the fire that had been started a while ago. We all sat silently there for sometime before John B was able to get up again and we all headed home.

🔅🔆🔅

After a sleepless night, we were all back together at the Château, I sat next to Kie as she lazily hit a pair of bongos that sat on the table between us and Pope. JJ was further away in the yard throwing god knows what into the grass. I stood up as I saw John B make his way over to us. Meeting him halfway between the main house and where the rest of our friends were I pulled him into a bone crushing hug.

“What was that for?” He asked, chuckling while he looked at me.

“I’m just glad to see you’re okay. I can’t lose you, any of you guys.” I explained making myself think back to last night.

“You can’t get rid of me that easily.” He joked trying to lighten the mood.

“Yeah, I know.” I said the smile returning to my face. “Hey, by the way I saw the cop car driving away this morning, is everything okay?”

“Eh, it’s alright Peterkin stopped by, told me to stay out of trouble and to clean up the house.” John B explained as we made our way over to the others. “Look, I'm callin' it off. All right?” John B announced to everyone. “Peterkin said, if I stay out of the marsh, she'll help me with DCS.”

“And you believed her?” JJ questioned.

“Yes, I believe her, JJ.”

“An actual cop, John B. You believed a cop.” He added, trying to make his point.

“All I gotta do is stay out of the marsh for a couple days, and she'll help me out. It doesn't help that your ass was the one shooting a gun.”

“You know what I should have done? Just let Topper drown your ass.”

“Topper was gonna drown me?”

“Sure looked like it.”

“Alright, calm down.” I spoke up trying to get them to stop.

“Come on. They always win, don't they, man? Kooks versus Pogues. They always, always win!” JJ started to raise his voice.

“Look, it's okay!” Kie reasoned, also trying to help me calm them down.

“No, it's not okay!” JJ argued, turning his attention to John B. “It is not! They don't want us to go down into the marsh. That means there's something valuable down there, and you know it. I know you do. And I understand why you don't wanna go. You're the golden boy. You got way too much to risk.” JJ added pointing a finger at Pope. “ And you...I mean, you're already rich as fuck anyway. Why would you bother?” He asked Kie. “But us three.” He finished looking at John B and I. “We got nothin' to lose!”

“I don't want to talk about this.” John B told JJ as he began to walk away.

“So that's it?” JJ asked and I could tell he was losing hope in John B.

“Just get out of my way, bro.”

“John B, listen to me. I have a plan.”

JJ telling us he had a plan? That was never a good start.

🔅🔆🔅

We all gathered around Kie who was inspecting the tanks that John B had stolen from the Cameron's. JJ had tried to argue that we were going to return them so technically we were just borrowing them but I didn’t think the Cameron's would see it that way or the cops they would inevitably call if they found out.

“This is empty. You took empty tanks? I…” Kie told John B sounding defeated. “Okay, this one's a quarter full. It's enough for one of us. Love it when a plan comes together. Does anybody know how to dive?”

“It's kind of a Kook sport.” JJ replied.

“I... read about it.” Pope responded cautiously.

“Great, Pope read about it, so someone's gonna die.” Kie reasoned.

“Look, y-you put the thing in your mouth and breathe. How hard could it be?” JJ asked.

“If you come up too fast, nitrogen gets into your blood, and you get the bends.” Pope told him.

“Bends like, bend over and…” JJ asked, making me roll my eyes at him.

“The bends kill you.” Pope said seriously and JJ straightened up.

“I can do it.” I finally said standing up at the front of the boat. “I went diving a few times with my dad when I was younger.”

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea.” JJ stated, a look of worry crossing his features.

“I’ll be fine, it’s like riding a bike, you don’t forget.” I reasoned. “Right?”

“Let me do some calculations real quick.” Pope said while he looked through his bag for a notebook.

“Are you serious? You’re gonna do some calculations right now?” John B teased Pope with a smile on his face.

“Hey, let the man do his calculations, alright?” JJ told John B before glancing over at me again.

“That boat's about 30 feet down. Okay.” Pope stated, thinking out loud. “So it'll take 25 minutes at that depth.”

“Twenty-five.” I confirmed half listening to him half focusing on keeping my hands from shaking, suffice to say I was a little nervous.

“Which means you need to make your safety stop at about... ten feet. All right? For two minutes.”

“Okay, ten feet, two minutes.” I confirmed, attempting to remember everything he was telling me.

Kie suddenly stood up from her spot and jumped off the side of the boat, disappearing into the dark water.

“What was that all about?” Pope asked, distracted.

“I don't know, but I liked it. A lot.” JJ commented.

“Anything else I need to know?” I asked, looking at the boys who were all very clearly still thinking about what Kie had just done.

“All right. Yeah. Uh, when you... uh, when you're down there, you look for the cargo hold.” John B stated remembering where he was.

“You stick this thing inside and twist and pull, okay?” JJ told me, holding up a key and miming it in the air.

“Yeah I think I know how a lock works JJ.” I told him sarcastically, as I took the key from his grasp.

“Hey! I tied my T-shirt to the anchor chain about ten feet down.” Kie said finally emerging from the water. “It's where you need to do your safety stop.”

“Okay, thanks.” I responded giving her a smile before pulling the heavy tank onto my back. I could barely pull the straps tight because of how much my hands were shaking. Seeing me struggle, JJ made his way over to me and finished strapping me in. Giving a thumbs up as he took a step back.

“Keep an eye on this.” Pope said, pointing to the console attached to the tank before handing it to me. “You need to make sure you have enough air to decompress.”

“Okay, how much do I need?” I asked.

“Unclear.” He answered truthfully after a brief pause. “Breathe as little as possible.”

“Zen. Think Zen, you know?” JJ commented trying to get me to relax. He took my hand in his while I looked around at everyone.

“Yeah. Got it.” I responded, moving closer to the edge of the boat.

“Hey, if we get caught in the marsh, we're basically screwed, so... better get a move on.” Pope said. I knew he was just trying to be helpful but it did not help me feel very Zen.

I was about to pull down my mask from where it was sitting on top of my head when I realized JJ still had a tight grip on my hand.

“I’m gonna need this.” I told him, holding up our interlocked hands.

“Oh, yeah, sorry about that.” He said, awkwardly letting go of my hand and rubbing the back of his neck. “Be careful, yeah?”

“I’ll be fine.” I responded, but I wasn’t sure if I was trying to convince him of myself. “Diver down?”

“Diver down.” My friends all confirmed as I pulled the mask down over my face before jumping into the water.

🔅🔆🔅

A couple of minutes after Iz had dove off the edge of the Pogue, the rest of the group sat waiting anxiously in silence for their friend to return. Well everyone but JJ who was currently pacing back and forth across the floor of the small boat, seemingly mumbling something under his breath about how Iz would be fine. The other Pogues watched, baffled as to how he could do things like this and yet still not realize how he truly felt about the girl who had just dove into the water.

JJ and the rest of the Pogues were pulled out of their thoughts by the sound of sirens and the flashing lights of a police boat.

“Shit.” Kie said, alerting everyone that the cops were pulling up next to them.

“Guys, that's the police.” Pope said, the panic in his voice rising with each word.

“Oh, you gotta be kidding me.” John B said standing up.

“Yep, that's the police. Just act frickin' normal.” JJ confirmed what they were all seeing, meanwhile acting the least natural the Pogues had ever seen him. JJ never panicked. “Evening, officers.”

“How you kids doing?” Deputy Shoupe asked the group, passing a rope over to connect the boats. “You know the marsh is closed?”

“No. No. Wow. I didn't know that. Why... Why is it closed?” Pope asked, trying to look calm.

“Well, we're conducting a search out here. Boat went down. Seen anything?”

“No. No boats. No.” John B responded.

“Where's your other friend you always hang out with? Who’s that, Bailer’s kid, uh, Isabella? She here?” Shoupe asked.

“She's working.” Kie lied.

“Hm.” Shoupe hummed, not entirely convinced. “I'm gonna check your little boat out.”

“Yeah, hop aboard.” John B said, waving a hand. “You wanna check... uh, check her out.”

Meanwhile below the surface Iz had found what she was looking for and began unlocking the hold.

After Shoupe had inspected their life jackets, he made his way to the front of the boat, putting his sunglasses on and looking out onto the water. From the back of the boat JJ also scanned the water, he thought that he saw something move beneath the surface and prayed that Shoupe hadn’t seen the same thing.

🔅🔆🔅

After getting into the hold I found a small bag and took it with me as I swam towards the anchor of the boat so I could make my safety stop before heading back up.

From my spot ten feet below the surface I looked up, noticing the shadow of a new boat and someone looking into the water. I squeezed my eyes shut for a moment as if that would help me keep from getting caught before opening them and looking at the console in my left hand. There was less than thirty seconds of air left and I was panicking even more than before.

Just in time the figure left and moments later the second boat disappeared. With my last breath of air I swam to the surface pulling off my mask as I took a huge breath of fresh air.

“There she is!” JJ pointed at me letting out a sigh of relief. “Don’t scare us like that!”

“How'd it go down there?” John B asked as I made my way to the ladder on the back of the boat.

“Did you find anything?” Pope asked, pulling me up.

“Did I find anything?” I answered the question by holding up the small duffle bag that I had found in the hold.

“Yeah, there we go! That's my girl!” JJ hollered scooping me up into a hug as John B took the bag from me.

“Jeez.” I laughed as JJ let go of me again and Kie made her way to my side.

“You okay?” She asked, a look of concern painting over her usual happy expression.

“Yeah, I ran out of air.” I said trying not to worry her but realizing my words did the opposite of that.

“You scared the shit out of me.” JJ said, snaking an arm around my waist. I knew he just thought of me as a friend but his actions still gave me butterflies, it was nice to know he cared.

“Yeah, the cops were up here, but, uh... we took care of 'em.” Pope informed me.

“Hey, guys? Guys, bogey, two o'clock.” Kie said, pulling us from our previous conversation.

“Do you recognize that boat?” Pope asked.

“I've never seen it.”

“What are they doing here? The marsh is closed.” John B asked and I couldn’t help but smile at the irony of his words, after all we knew better than to be there and yet here we were.

“Let's not stick around and find out.” JJ stated, moving to the front of the boat.

“Should we wait on 'em?” Pope asked.

“Are you joking?” I asked, helping start the boat up. “JJ, hurry up.”

“Guys, don't wait for me. Go.” JJ told us as he pulled the anchor up as fast as he could.

“Go right.” I suggested to John B who was standing behind the wheel, thinking if we went further into the marsh they might not follow us.

“Let's go!” Kie rushed as the boat turned behind us. “Hey, guys, they're following us.”

“This can't be good.” I said as JJ moved to stand beside me.

“Dude, you gotta go faster!” JJ urged John B as the boat began to gain on us.

“I'm going!” He said while trying to maneuver the marsh that was filled with thick weeds.

Looking back I noticed that one of the men had leant down and was now standing back up holding something I could quite make out.

“Uh, guys what is that?” I asked as everyone but John B looked back.

“What the…” Pope started but the rest of his question died out at the sound of a gunshot.

As everyone one dropped down to the floor of the boat I felt as if I had been pushed, there was a heavy weight on my chest.

“Holy shit!” I heard Kie mutter as I opened my eyes realizing that JJ was on top of me. This was now the second time in the past two days that I had been pinned between JJ and another surface. Had it been under different circumstances I might have been able to enjoy it.

“John B, get down!” I heard JJ yell as I felt the vibrations of his voice echo through my own chest.

“We're gonna die!” I heard Pope say hopelessly from beside me.

“Shit! Pope, move.” Kie muttered, I couldn’t see much but I thought I saw Kie walking to the back of the boat carrying something.

“Get down, Kie!” John B yelled as the man in the other boat continued to shoot at us.

Then the shooting stopped as the sound of the other boat died out.

“Oh my god.” Pope sighed, sounding very relieved as everyone started to get back up except for JJ.

“JJ?” I asked, looking up at him. His face turned towards me, inches away from mine as he hovered over me.

“Yeah?” He asked, sounding completely oblivious.

“You gonna let me get up?” I asked, smiling.

“Oh, yeah, sorry about that Sweetheart.” He said standing before he offered me his hand. A look flashed across his face that I couldn’t quite recognize, if I didn’t know better I would think it was disappointment?

🔅🔆🔅

After arriving back at the Château we all gathered on the dock. To take a look at what I had found in the hold of the Grady-White.

“What do you think it is?” Kie asked us.

“Gotta be money, right?” John B responded with another question.

“That or a couple of keys with street value from the low-to-mid-mils!” JJ added.

“Can we please just open the bag?” Pope let out looking impatient.

“Wow, Pope. That's a rare outburst of emotion.” John B teased as he stretched out the wait even longer.

“Okay. You guys are literally killing me with anticipation.” I said in the same boat as Pope, urging them to hurry up.

“Alright Sweetheart, calm down.” JJ said from beside me putting a hand on my arm to calm me down.

“We almost died over this.” Pope added to our argument to open the bag faster.

John B opened the bag pulling out a metal canister. After opening that too he let the contents spill out onto his hand. Disappointment rose up as we looked to see that all it was was an old compass. While taking a second look I thought that I recognized it from somewhere but wasn’t sure.

“Oh, wow. Yup. That's about right.” Pope stated, standing from his crouched position. “Good job, everybody. We found a compass.”

“Dude, what? It's not worth anything.” JJ told John B who was staring at the compass in awe.

“This was my father's.” Were the only words that left John B’s lips.

🔅🔆🔅

After the disappointment of not finding much of anything after we all risked our lives we all headed home. Entering my house the sun was setting outside and it seemed empty. But my Mom’s car was parked just off the road and I could hear faint talking coming from the back of the house. I walked through the living room and kitchen, past the stairs that led to the loft which was my Mom’s room. Past my own room and the bathroom before coming to a stop in front of my little sister’s door. Leaning against the door frame, I saw my Mom reading Emmy a book by candle light, I assumed that the power was still out.

Walking back to the main room I started to make myself a sandwich, realizing that I hadn’t eaten much of anything all day. Just as I was about to take the first bite. I heard Emmy’s door close and my Mom entered the room, holding a candle in her hand.

“Hey, Honey.” She greeted me as she set down the candle. “How was your day?”

“Good.” I responded in between bites of the sandwich I had made. “Pretty uneventful.”

“Really?” She asked, almost surprised. “I saw Shoupe on my way out of town and he said that he saw your friends out on the marsh when they were doing their search for Scooter’s boat. He also said that you weren't there. Your friends told him something about you working, but I didn’t know you were working at all for a few days.”

“Oh really?” I said trying to figure out how to cover the real story up. “Um, Mr. Cameron came down and asked if I could pick up another shift. I guess his kids have been spending a lot of time inside since the storm so it was a bit of a mess over there.”

“He drove all the way down here?”

“Yeah well since the phone lines are down he couldn’t call.”

“Huh, it seems strange he would come all the way down when he could just wait a couple more days for us to come over.”

“Yeah well it was really bad. I would have taken pictures if my phone wasn’t dead.”

“Oh no I don’t need pictures, I’ve met those kids and cleaned that house, I believe that they could make a terrible mess.” She said seemingly believing everything I was telling her, she paused for a moment before asking another question. “You don’t know why your friends were in the marsh do you?”

“Well” I started, thinking about what I could say that would get us all off the hook. “They were actually waiting to pick me up. Yeah. Cause I went up to Figure Eight with Mr. Cameron but I didn’t want to make him drive me all the way home. So they hung out in the marsh I guess while they waited.”

“How’d you call them?” Mom asked, picking apart my story.

“Walkie Talkies.” I blurted out. “You know the ones that Heyward got Pope and I a few years ago? And that must have been why they were in the marsh even though it was closed. You know cause the walkie talkies only work for a certain radius, and the Cameron house is probably too far from here.”

“Yeah I guess so.” She said moving towards me to grab my now empty plate.

“Thanks.” I said, as she put my plate in the sink. “I think I’m gonna head back over to John B’s if that's okay.”

“Of course just don’t forget to sleep at some point. You do still require sleep.” She told me.

“I know, I’ll see you later.”

“Love you!” I heard her call after me as I closed the door and made the short walk over to John B’s where I saw him and JJ lounging on the porch.

🔅🔆🔅

#outerbanks #outer banks #jj maybank #jj obx #obx #jj x oc #jj maybank x oc #jj x reader #jj maybank x reader

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ultraintrovertedgryffindor · 4 years ago

Text

Just Like You - Kenny McCormick(South Park)

I wrote this a really long time ago when I was obsessed with South Park. I don’t know why lmao, but here it is.

Warning: Also wrote this when I was an edgy teen™, so cringe and possible trigger warning.

~~~~~~~~~~

Welp, today’s the day...

New town. New house. New school.

My parents had gotten a better job offer here in this little town of South Park, much to my dismay. I love traveling, but moving from a large city in New York to a small mountain town in Colorado is a lot.

It should be interesting though, more opportunities that I’ve never gotten before. Although, I still have to go to school. The local South Park high school.

I put on my outfit for school and wear my black coat over it. It seems to always snow here, only on rare occasions it gets warm. I run downstairs and grab a piece of toast my mother made from the kitchen. I find a note on the counter.

Have a good first day of school, hon. Try to make some friends, and yes, that means being nice to people. Your father and I will not be back until tomorrow morning, so keep those memories of your first day in you head until we can hear about it. Love you!

My mother is a freak, I love her, but she’s a freak. I’m surprised my father has a job with all the day drinking he does. It helps him get work done, I guess.

I walk to school still eating my buttered toast. Approaching the school, I take in its features. It’s an ugly yellow color. Although, I think all bright colors are ugly. I walk in the school and all eyes are on me. I pretend not to notice. I get my class schedule and such from the receptionist and make my way towards my locker.

“You must be new. I think I would’ve recognized an ass that fine before.” A brunette says to me. I roll my eyes and huff.

“As a matter of fact, I am new. I was hoping for something better than a lame catcall on my first day, but at least you tried.” I said and patted him on the shoulder. He glared, tears filling in his eyes, and stomped off.

I bet he’s never been rejected in his entire life, poor soul.

I walk into my first class and immediately get called on. “Well, hello there! You must be the new student. Y/N right? Well, I’m Mr. Garrison and this here is my little friend Mr. Hat. Say hello Mr. Hat!”

Okay...already creeped the fuck out. Something about his southern accent and oh yeah, his fucking creepy ass puppet just rubs me the wrong way.

“Now, please, go take a seat. Wait...are you a troublemaker?” He asks.

“Oh no. Not at all, sir.” I lie. It’s easy to lie. I have a natural talent for it.

“Oh alright, I guess you can sit next to Kenny. That boy in the orange coat. You can keep him in check.”

Will do, you creepy old fuck.

I take my seat next to the blonde haired boy. He’s kinda cute actually. After class a group of boys came up to me, including that Kenny kid.

“Hi, new kid! Just thought we’d introduce ourselves. I’m Kyle. This here’s Stan, Cartman, and Kenny.” The redhead said.

“Holy shit, look at those tits!”

“Cartman!” Kyle scolded.

“Well, first off. It’s Y/N, not new kid. And nice to meet you too...I guess.” I said and walked off.

Yeah, I don’t have great people skills. My harshness has pushed people away. I’m trying to work on it. But determined from what the fatass said I probably don’t wanna be friends with those dudes.

Off to lunch, finally. Hopefully the lunch here is better than the ones at my old school. I took my tray and looked around the lunchroom. Everyone in groups or pairs. I see one empty table. I head towards it and sit down.

The food isn’t that bad, but I’ll definitely be bringing my own from now on. While I was eating I noticed people staring at me. One, that Kenny kid, and two, that guy that used that lame catcall. I got uncomfortable real quick.

The rest of school was a bust. It was boring. Now, I want something fun to do. I heard that there’s a pond near here, that sounds like fun. I asked directions to where the pond was, which I found out was called Stark’s Pond, and headed there.

I approached and noticed no one was there. Perfect.

I looked around in my bookbag for some rope, and luckily I carry some around with me at all times. I look a heavy looking rock and tie it to the rope. I’m not that heavy so it should work.

I tie the other end of the rope around my ankle. I throw the boulder into the pond and it yanks me down, breaking my ankle. It drags me down until the rock rests at the bottom of the pond.

It’s dark and cold. I’m floating, suspended in time. I look up and see the sunlight breaking through the surface of the water, but it’s not enough to reach me. My hair flies around, loose and tangling each other. I reach up and run my fingers through my soft hair.

It starts...I try to gasp for breath but it isn’t there. My lungs start to burn with fire as no oxygen reaches them and they only fill with water as I struggle for air.

I always find this part of drowning so fascinating. Your survival instincts kick in and you try so desperately to fight to survive but come up short when your lungs fill completely with water and your body becomes stiff and frozen.

I black out.

*The Next Morning*

I gasp and bolt upright from my bed.

I sigh in relief to see that I’m back again, in my new home. Every time I die, there’s always a part of me that’s afraid I’ll never come back, and yet I always do.

The first time it happened, I was 10. I was at a birthday party. It was my friend’s party cake that killed me. Someone, while making the cake, accidentally put poison in it. I don’t know how in the hell someone “accidentally” puts poison in a cake, but it happened.

I started to feel hungry, it wasn’t time eat yet but the cake was on the kitchen table and I couldn’t help myself. I took a small piece of cake, it was delicious but it caused me to foam out the mouth and have a seizure. I died almost instantly. Good thing I died otherwise the rest of those kids would’ve had a bad day.

Then I woke up in my bed the next morning.

The hardest part was that no one remembered that I died, but I did. I remember the whole painful experience, and my parents didn’t even believe me. They took me to counseling after that, not that it helped.

One day, a few weeks after the first time I died, I tried crossing the road without my parents. I looked both ways and no cars were coming as far as I could tell. As soon as I almost crossed the, a car came out of no where and completely wrecked me. Again, I woke up in my bed like nothing happened.

The day after I built up the courage enough to test out the theory that I was unkillable. My dad had a 9 mil in his safe. I shot myself, and just like that, I woke up in my bed the next day.

At first, I was insanely afraid of myself and it wasn’t until last year that I realized it could be fun.

I’ve tested out so many ways of dying. Yesterday at the pond was my first time drowning, but I wanted to get over it cause I knew I’d drown soon even if I avoided it. Next on my list is falling to my death, but besides drowning heights is my biggest fear. Heights might be a good excuse to procrastinate getting that done.

I get up out of bed and take a quick shower. I wonder if I’ll ever stop being immortal? It’s probably a good thing I am since I’ve become so accident prone.

After my shower, I quickly got dressed and jogged down the stairs, almost falling in the process. I walked into the kitchen where I saw my parents.

“Y/N! Hello, sweetie!” My mom said and gave me a hug.

“Hey.” I said.

My mom was making waffles and my dad was just sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee and reading the newspaper. Dick never pays any attention to me.

“So, how was your first day of school? Did you make any friends?”

“Uh, not really. Some guys introduced themselves to me, but you know how I am with people. And school was fine, learned a lot, teachers are a freaky though.” I paused. “Oh, and I drowned myself at Stark’s Pond.” I said nonchalantly.

My mom sighed. “That’s nice dear.”

Ever since I’ve been experimenting with dying over and over, I’ve been telling my parents about it. They never believe me of course. Even when one time I purposely hurt myself and bled to death in front of them, but they never remember. My dad didn’t really give a shit though. Anyway...

“I’m going to school now. Later!” I said, walking out the door.

Hmm, maybe I should take the bus. I wait at the bus stop, cause I don’t feel like walking to school.

“Y/N!” I flinch when I heard my name being called out. I turn to see Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman walking up to me. “I didn’t know you took the bus.” Kyle went on to say.

“Didn’t really feel like walking to school today.” I said, looking down and kicking the ground beneath me absentmindedly.

The bus finally arrived and we all walked on, I sat in the very back by myself. Until Kenny decided to sit next to me.

“Mmph!” He said, well I don’t exactly know he said. His bright orange parka covering his face made his voice muffled. I’m just gonna assume he said hi.

“Hi.” I replied.

“Mmph mmph mmph mph mmmph mmph!”

“Uh...huh?”

He rolled his eyes and took off his hood, revealing a mop of messy dirty blonde hair. “I said, how are you liking school so far?” He said.

“Oh, um. It’s okay, I guess.” I smiled.

“You guess? Okay, so I take it you don’t really like it.”

“Well, it always sucks when you’re the new kid and you have no friends.” I sighed.

“No friends, huh? Well, I’ll be you friend. I’m sure Kyle and Stan will too!” He said, making me blush. Darn. “Aw, you’re blushing!”

“Shut up. I always blush.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Kenny smirked.

When we finally got to school Kenny walked me to class, which was nice. He’s actually really nice and funny, also really adorable.

*A Week Later*

School so far has been good. I’ve grown really close to Kenny, since he’s basically my only friend.

Kenny invited me to sit with him at his table, I agreed. Stan and Kyle seemed to enjoy my company though, Cartman didn’t. Didn’t like me for some reason, although he could be just an asshole all the time.

As the talk started to slow down and lunch was almost over, I looked around the lunchroom to avoid small talk. I saw the guy with brown hair staring at me again, but looked away when I saw him. “Hey, Kenny?”

“Yeah?”

“Who is that guy over there?” I ask, discreetly pointing at him.

“Oh, that guy in the red coat is Clyde. Why?” Kenny asked.

“Oh, no reason. He was just staring at me my first day here and also today. He also kinda catcalled me that day too.”

Kenny noticeably frowned. “He has?”

“Yeah, but it’s probably nothing.” I stuttered a little. Kenny giggled.

“You’re cute when you stutter.” He smiled, which made me blush. “Aw, you’re blushing again.” He poked my blushing cheeks.

“Ugh, stop.” I whined, and shoved his hand away.

The rest of school was okay. Kenny stayed by my side the whole day, I didn’t mind, but he seemed like he was in a clingy mood which was weird. “I’ll walk you home.” Kenny said.

“Oh, no, you don’t have to do that.” I said.

“Nah, I insist.” He said.

Well, who could say no to Kenny. We were almost to my house, we had to cross the street first. We both walked side by side, Kenny had his arm around my shoulders to which I giggled. I suddenly hear a loud horn, I tried to push Kenny out of harm’s way but it was too late.

We’d both been run over by a semi-truck.

I gasp and bolt upright from my bed in a cold sweat.

Oh, god. Kenny. We both got hit. I tried to get Kenny out of the way, but I was too late. I let him get run over. He’s probably dead because of me.

I start to sob. He’s dead and it’s my fault. My fucking fault. God no. Why couldn’t it have just been me? I wouldn’t even care if I wasn’t able to come back, I just want Kenny to still be alive.

My alarm went off. I smashed it. I’m not going to school today. I can’t. Everyone probably knows Kenny’s dead and they’re mourning him school. I can’t be knowing it’s my fault.

My doorbell rings.

Ugh...I don’t feel answering the door. The person is now beating on the door, damn they’re persistent.

I get up to yell at the person who’s beating down my door. I mumble profanities as I answer it. My heart stops. Not literally but it feels like it.

“K-Kenny?” I start sobbing as I take the blonde haired boy in my arms, holding tightly. “I thought you died!” I sob. I pull away. His face looks like he’s in shock, also confused.

“You...you remember?” He asks.

“Of course I do! I tried pushing you out of the way of that truck, I guess I succeeded.” I sigh in relief.

“But...how? I thought you died too.” He said, flabbergasted.

“What do you mean too? Wait, you remembered I died?” I ask, also so confused.

“Y/N, I died. You didn’t push me out of the way in time, but I didn’t save you either. We both died,” he paused, “and we both remember.”

Suddenly, Kenny grabs both my upper arms and pulls me close to him and gives me a passionate kiss.

I pull away, shocked. “Woah....what was that for?”

“I’m sorry. It’s just...nobody has ever remembered me dying. No one, but you can.” Kenny explained.

“And you remember me dying?” I ask.

Kenny nods. “You’re the first person that remembers me dying too.” He says.

I don’t know what to say or do. This has never happened to me before. I think Kenny feels the same, since we’re both just stood awkwardly at my front door. I finally break the silence.

“Kenny, I thought you died, and I’ve never been more scared in my entire life.” I said, with still a few salty tears flowing down my red cheeks.

“I was too.” Kenny said. “Well, looks like we have more in common than I originally thought.” He giggled.

~~~~~~~~~~

#south park #south park fanfiction #kenny mccormick #kenny mccormick x reader

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midnightsnyx · 5 years ago

Text

Andre Burakovsky - Be My Forever

pairing: andre burakovsky/reader

warnings: angst and fluff

word count: 3695

a/n: i was planning on just making this pure fluff but if ya know your girl, you know i am a sucker for angst so i couldn’t not write sad stuff in this BUT it has a happy ending so yay

ps: pls dont criticize my attempt at making an instagram post because i am very sensitive

my masterlist

Andre Burakovsky

Meeting him was like getting the breath knocked out of you.

Losing him was like drowning.

. . .

“You look like you could use a drink.”

You have no idea, you think and turn preparing to tell the guy who is probably hitting on you that you are not interested but when your eyes meet his warm brown ones, the words die on your lips.

You mumble a yes and he grins, taking a seat on the bar stool next to you. He catches the attention of the bartender and when he orders your favourite drink, you raise an eyebrow and he blushes.

“I uh… I asked the bartender what you drink before I walked over here.” He says and your mouth tips up in a small smile. He has an accent, you realize but you can’t pick out exactly what it is. Not as strong as Russian. Swedish maybe? You also realize you have been staring at him a little too long because he smirks so you clear you throat and nod.

“How long have you been thinking about coming over here?” You tease and he blushes again.

“Awhile.” He mumbles. “You looked pretty intimidating to be honest.”

“Well,” you say, taking a sip from your glass before grinning. “I’m glad that didn’t deter you from introducing yourself.”

“Ditto.” He says and when he smiles, you know you’re a goner.

. . .

It’s easy. Being with Andre is easy. And it frightens you as much as it excites you. He brings you your favourite drink in the morning before you go to work and he takes you on dates and brings you flowers when you’re feeling down. It’s more affection and attention that you’ve had from a man in a long time so it makes you feel like you’re on top of the world. It makes you start to wonder if what you’re feeling is love.

“What’re you thinking about?” he murmurs, head laying on your lap while you run your fingers through his unruly brown hair. His eyes are trained on the TV as you both watch reruns of Grey’s Anatomy.

“You. Us.” You tell him shrugging.

He’s smiling when you look down at him. “What exactly about us?”

His gaze makes you squirm a little and you don’t exactly want to confess your love for him because you’re not sure yet if that’s what you feel.

“Just stuff.” You sigh, looking back at the TV where Derek is professing his love to Meredith and it’s like the show is mocking you.

He just hums. “I was thinking you should come to the game tonight.”

You’re embarrassed to admit that attending his games isn’t something you do often. You love cheering him on but the other hockey wives and girlfriends intimidate you. Andre has assured you plenty of times that they like you and would love to get to know you, but there’s that taunting voice in the back of your head that says they are silently judging you.

He carefully gauges your reaction before adding, “I thought you could go in the wives lounge.”

And there it is.

“I don’t know, Andre.”

You know he’s frustrated when he stands up and starts running his hand through his hair.

“I don’t understand your problem with the other wives and girlfriends.” He says a little sharply. Probably sharper than he intended but it still stings.

“It isn’t that I have a problem with them-”

“Then what is it?”

You huff, standing up because sitting down is just making your nerves worse. “I just feel like they’re judging me, okay?”

You’re expecting him to reassure you but he just scoffs. “I have literally never had this problem with a girl I’ve dated. In fact, they were all excited to meet the guys significant others.”

That stings and you know that he’s realized that he crossed the line before you even say anything. When he opens his mouth to try and fix it, you point to the door.

“Leave.”

“Y/N-”

“Leave, now.” you say and he starts to walk towards you but you shake you head, trying to keep the tears at bay until he leaves.

When he begins to say something else, you look at him with pleading eyes.

“Please.” You beg and his face drops. You watch as he grabs his jacket and keys before making his way to the front door. He gives you one last glance before opening the door and leaving. Once he’s gone, you fall on the couch and start sobbing. Deep down you know that the fight the two of you had isn’t as big a deal as you’re both making it out to be but it’s still your first real fight, and it hurts like hell.

It’s a couple hours later when there is a knock on the door. You’re confused because Andre has a key to your apartment and although the two of you just had an argument, you figure he would just come straight in.

Maybe he’s trying boundaries you think, wrapping a blanket around you and trudging to answer the knocking. You’re expecting it to be Andre so to say that you are surprised is an understatement when you open the door and come face to face with Gabriel Landeskog’s wife, Melissa.

“Um… hi?” You say but it comes out more as a question. She smiles but it looks sympathetic and you realize you must look like a mess. You try to wipe your eyes which feel puffy and half halfheartedly push you messy hair away from your face.

“Can I come in?” She asks softly and all you can do is nod and step aside. You are suddenly aware that your apartment is a mess and there’s an empty box of tissues with used ones scattered on the couch which is exactly where she decides to sit.

“Sorry about the mess.” You mutter, scooping them up and throwing them in a small garbage tin. She just smiles again and watches you sit on the love seat across from her.

“No need to apologize.” She reassures you. “I’ve had my fair share of empty tissue boxes after fights with Gabe.”

So that’s why she’s here. You should’ve known that Andre would go to one of the guys houses. Someone with a wife or girlfriend in particular because you’re sure the single guys wouldn’t have great advice. Hence being single.

“He told you.”

She shrugs. “Well, he told Gabe and I happened to be in listening distance. I don’t think he would ever break your trust by telling one of the girls that you’re nervous about meeting us.”

She holds a hand up when you begin to cut in, effectively shutting you up.

“I’ve been where you are. All of us have. Isn’t it the same when you’re meeting anybody? It’s nerve wracking but you should know that we all want to officially meet you and learn more about you.” She smirks and raises an eyebrow. “Honestly, from what Gabe has told me, Andre doesn’t stop talking about you.”

A giggle slips out because Cale mentioned to you once how annoying it was that all Andre talked about was you.

“I’m not trying to force you into anything, but I think you should come to the game and sit with us tonight.” She leans over and pats your knee before standing up. “I stole your number from Andre’s phone when Gabe was distracting him so I’ll text you in an hour and if you decide to come, I’ll save you a seat.”

She leaves it at that and for the second time today, you stand up and watch someone leave your apartment. The only difference is that when Melissa looks back, she gives you a warm smile.

You sigh when the door closes with a soft click and you make your way to the washroom. When you look in the mirror, your eyes are puffy and nose red as expected but you ignore it and turn the shower on, stripping off and standing under the hot water. Taking a shower gives you time to think about your fight with Andre.

Yes, he stepped over the line when he made the comment comparing you to other girls he has dated, but if you hadn’t kicked him out, it’s possible the two of you could have talked things out. But you just needed time to think because you felt like things were slipping out of control and all you’ve ever known before Andre is that when things get tough, people leave and you were so terrified of him being the one to leave that you kicked him out before he could.

You only realize that you’ve been standing in the shower too long when the water starts running cold. Shutting off the water, you grab a towel and wrap it around yourself and make your way to your room. You go to open your pajama drawer but your phone dings and when you check it, there’s an unfamiliar number that’s texted you but you know who it is right away.

Unknown number: Should I save you a seat?

You stare at the text, weighing the pros and cons of going to the game. It’s possible that Andre won’t even want you there after the fight you two had but he may also be happy that you decided to come. Your eyes drift to where your number 35 Colorado Avalanche jersey is hanging in your closet. Andre gave it to you a month in to your relationship and even when you watched the game from your apartment, you still wore it. You remember the look on his face when you showed up to your first game wearing it and that’s all it takes to shut you pajama drawer and pick up your phone to text Melissa back.

You: I’ll be there.

. . .

Before you make your way to your seats, Melissa drags you to the locker room, ignoring your protests. Her husband is waiting outside the locker room doors and his face lights up when he sees the two of you.

“Hey!” He says, kissing Melissa’s cheek and pulling you in for a quick hug. “Hopefully your attendance will put Burky in a better mood. A couple of the guys are ready to sock him because of his attitude.” He winks before opening the door and shouting Andre’s name.

“Burky! Get out here.”

You hear Andre say no like a disobedient child and Gabe huffs.

“Your girl is here!”

You hear a couple whistles and chirps being tossed before Andre pokes his head out the door and his eyes widen a bit when he sees you. Gabe rolls his eyes and you see him wave to Melissa out of the corner of your eye before they both leave.

“You came.” He says quietly and you nod.

“Well, you asked me.” you say quietly and his face falls a little so you quickly add, “and I wanted to.”

A smile lights up his face and he wraps his arms around you, lifting you off your feet and spinning you around. When he sets you down, he smirks.

“Hey, I’ll score a goal for you tonight.”

“That’s an awfully big promise, Burky.” you tease and he grins, kissing you soundly.

“Anything for my girl.”

. . .

(he scores a goal and an assist for you that night and when he points at you after scoring, your heart flips and you want to shout I love you from the rooftops.)

. . .

You’ve been dating for nine months when he asks you to move in with him. In the back of your mind you wonder if it’s too soon but there’s so much hope and love and trust in his eyes that you tell him yes.

Your friends are quiet but supportive when you tell them you’re moving in with Andre. You know that one of your friends had a bad experience when she moved in with her boyfriend after they had only been dating for a few months but you’re convinced that you and Andre are different.

That is, until you’re not.

. . .

After a couple months, you realize that living together is harder than you expected. You didn’t notice as much when you were living separately but he’s gone more often than not. It leaves a constant heavy feeling in the pit of your stomach while he is on the road. You try to occupy your time with work and spending time with friends but you still go home to an empty apartment and sleep alone in the bed every night.

You’d never admit it to him and certainly not to your friends who you had a feeling would say I told you so.

You put on the brave face when he’s home but eventually it gets too much and you break down, explaining your feelings to Melissa who tells you to talk to Andre about it because “communication is key” and you know that’s one of the most cliche but true things about relationships but you never thought you would have to worry about it.

You supposed that love made you blind to things sometimes.

So the night before Andre is set to be home, you send him a text saying that you need to talk to him about something when he’s back in town. He calls you right away, panicking and asking what’s wrong but you assure him it’s nothing even though it’s something and he sadly takes your word for it.

Despite him getting home at an ungodly hour, you wake up to coffee and a bouquet of your favorite flowers and your heart just hurts when you see the bright smile on his face.

“Morning,” he says, pressing a kiss to your cheek.

“Hey,” you whisper, accepting the cup of coffee he offers you and walking over to study the flowers in the vase. There is a small card in it that says “I love you” and your heart breaks a little.

“So… you wanted to talk?” He asks quietly but his words are rushed as if he’s been working himself up to saying them.

You try to smile and sit on the chair across from him. He looks tired and his hair is messy and all you want to do is be in his arms but you can’t.

“I want to start by saying that none of it is your fault and I know it’s out of your control-”

“Wait-” he cuts you off. “are you breaking up with me?”

“I know it is out of your control,” you say again, more forcefully and his face pales but you keep talking. “but I’m just so tired of being alone and I know hockey is your job and you have to travel-”

“You’re breaking up with me.” He says quietly and the confusion on his face makes you feel like the worst person ever but-

“I’m sorry. I didn’t think things would be this hard when we decided to move in together.”

“Things have been fine,” he insists. ��we’ve been fine-”

“But I haven’t!” You nearly shout. “You’ve been fine because you have hockey to keep you occupied when you’re on the road and then you have me when you come home but I have nobody, when you aren’t here, I have nobody.” It’s hard to look at him so you’re staring at your hands, feeling the hot tears drip on to your palms. “and I know that’s what I signed up for when we started dating but I didn’t think it would be this hard.”

You don’t hear him so you jump when his hands grasp yours. He’s kneeling down in front of you when you look up at him and you just want to cry harder when you see the tears in his eyes.

“We can figure something out.”

“Like what, Andre?” You croak and he opens his mouth to say something but nothing comes out.

“I’m sorry.” You whisper, pulling your hands free from him. It hurts to stand up and leave him kneeling there but you know that if you stay any longer or look at him, you won’t be able to leave. “I’ll pick up my things tomorrow while you’re at practice.”

He doesn’t say anything and it takes everything in you not to go back and kneel down and hug him and try to take the pain away but you can’t.

You pull on the closest jacket and grab your keys, not looking back as you leave because the worst part is, something tells you that you will love him forever.

. . .

It’s nearly a year later when you finally see him again. You were so careful, trying to avoid any places you knew he would be but when you got an invite to a barbecue that the Landeskog’s are throwing, you can’t say no. Melissa and Gabe had been so kind to you after your breakup with Andre, from letting you stay at their house while you searched for another apartment to checking up on you when they felt you were missing a little too long.

So you can’t say no to them and even though you don’t want to see Andre, you can’t ask them not to invite him either.

You had a plan to stay in one spot during the barbecue and only move if Andre spotted you but when he catches your eye, it’s like you’re thrown back in time to when you met him in the bar. His brown eyes lock you in place and no matter how much you want to leave, it’s like an invisible force is keeping you in place.

“Hey.” He whispers, stopping in front of where you’re seated. It’s on a porch swing and when you look around the yard, you realize all other seats are taken. Part of you wonders if it was done on purpose.

“Can I sit?” He asks and all you can manage is to nod, not knowing what to say to him.

“You look great.” He says quietly and he sounds unsure, like he’s worried he is stepping over the line. But his words warm you to the bone and a small smile spreads across your face.

“You do too.”

His grin is smug and you almost regret your words but you just laugh quietly. You lean back in the swing and unconsciously press your thigh against his, not noticing when his eyes flicker down.

“How have you been?” You ask him.

“Good, and you?”

“Really well actually.” You tell him and when you turn to look at him, he’s already looking at you.

“I miss you.” He says softly and you’re surprised when warmth blooms in your chest at his words.

You’re even more surprised when you find yourself saying, “I miss you too.”

Neither of you will ever remember who leaned in first but when your lips meet his, it feels like the hole that’s been in your heart for nearly a year is suddenly filled again and the weight that’s been on your shoulders is gone and you feel like you can breathe again.

You distantly remember your mom telling you once that if you’re meant to be with someone, you will eventually find your way back to each other.

You couldn’t agree more.

. . .

(it’s two years later that he’s on one knee in front of you, offering you a ring - and his heart - and asking you to be his forever and without a doubt of hesitation in your mind, you tell him yes.)

#andre burakovsky imagine #colorado avalance imagines #Colorado Avalanche fanfiction #andre burakovsky fanfiction #hockey fanfiction #hockey imagines

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xhudgenssistersconfessions · 4 years ago

Text

My Zanessa ff

I tried my best to traslate it my Zanessa ff in a good english. Forgive me, I tried to do my best between having a life and a full time job. You can still find it on wattpad written in italian. Maybe I will publish it on english too if someone is interested. https://www.wattpad.com/user/FrancyF94

- Fran

Chapter 1: I set out on a narrow way many years ago

“I set out on a narrow way many years ago

Hoping I would find true love along the broken road

But I got lost a time or two

Wiped my brow and kept pushing through

I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you "

- “God Bless the Broken Road” Rascal Flatts

Arroyo Grande, California - September 2014

Zac Efron gave a sad look at his childhood home: it always seemed the same house that his father had built when he was just one year old. The grass in the driveway and back garden was yellow and dry from the drought that had hit the state of California during the summer, but the flowers in the flowerbeds her mother tended with great care were in bloom. The old car Mustang of his grandfather Harold was always parked in the driveway and the basketball hoop that his father had set up for him and Dylan when they were little was rusty, but always present . The light beige walls of the house had been repainted by Zac himself a few years earlier. It all looked the same, but now he couldn't stare at that house for more than ten seconds.

Zac was sure that on entering the front door, past the entrance hall, he would find his old grand piano, his father's electronic engineering books stacked in neat rows in the large cedar bookcase , and the whole house wrapped in the scent of his mother's famous blueberry waffles. The he would go upstairs in his old room, and her mother would have lecture him because despite having reached the threshold of twenty-seven years old, Zac’s old room still remained inaccessible because of the piles of clothes strewn on the floor, along with scores music and torn sheets of some script.

The young man closed his eyes, like wanted to hold those memories and fossilize them in his mind, but then the voice of his younger brother Dylan brought him back to reality.

- I can't believe they want to sell the house-.

The 22-year-old made a disgusted face and takes a long sip of beer, wiping his lips with his hands.

-Why didn't you buy it? - he snorted , with an obvious note of reproach.

Zac rolled his eyes and ignored him: his brother's disappoint was not the last thing you had to occupy.

-Dyl, I've already explained why. There is no point in buying it. What was I supposed to do with it?-

-Leave it like this! Fuck, it's like we're selling our whole life! All of our memories are in here! - Dylan kicked a frustrated kick at the " Sold" sign that towered undisturbed on the lawn, and immediately regretted it, cursing at the pain that he had caused to himself.

-Dylan , I already have two houses. I don't need a third one-

-But it is our home!-

-I know it. Do you think I agree with this whole situation? -

-I believe that you are proving too accommodating. It’s so easy, this is not the time to behave like this! They look like two in their twenties! They have no right! They don't have the right to take and throw away a life together! - the boy's voice cracked. - They don't have the right - he muttered, kicking a pebble and hiding the face of his older brother.

Zac was sure Dylan was holding back from bursting into tears. What did he think he was doing? Their parents certainly didn't need to ask their permission to do certain things. And then he too was shuddering, but with confusion. He wanted answers. He hadn't felt so lost in years, or maybe it was only years that he pretended to be fine and that his life was going great. He was so accustomed to goodbyes and change identities and roles in his work, who really did not understand all the rage of his younger brother. But a small part of him hates Dylan. Even in that situation it was up to him to take care of Dylan. Zac have to play the part of the good big brother, tell Dylan that everything would be okay in the end. Zac himself wasn't sure about it , but he knew he had to do it because he would never, ever abandon his family in a moment like that .

-Hey guys! We did not call you to chasing butterflies! - the voice of their father David called both brothers to work - I need a hand here ! - said the man dragging two old bikes along the driveway. Zac tried to make himself feel good. Those were their old bikes. What the hell was his dad doing? Did he want to throw them away? They were old, but certainly not scrap. Why did he have all this sudden urge to get rid of their old stuff?

- Come on, let's go. The sooner we finish packing everything, the sooner we can leave little brother- Zac held out a hand to him and Dylan helped him get up.

-I go inside to mom and you stay with dad , ok? -.

Dylan nodded and walked reluctantly into the garage while Zac entered in the house. Just a few weeks early the hall’s walls were full with family photos: little Zac and Dylan with their female cousins during their childhood, family holidays in Hawaii and Colorado, David’s photos of his work trips. Now it was all gone.

Zac saw his mother in the kitchen area. She was setting up pot and pans in some sad brown boxes.

-Hey mom, do you need a hand here? -

-Oh yes, thanks honey. You can start bringing these in the car. I don't think your father wants to keep them , they're just old dishes from grandma's good service. They'll have a better spot in my new house-.

Beside Starla were four full boxes with the word "Kitchen" on it. Zac took a breath while Dreamer, the old family dog, was bouncing around, sniffing Zac’s snew brand jeans.

-Hey dude- he scratched his head affectionately -you'll change house soon-.

For nearly ten years that old dog had lived in Arroyo Grande and now… and now he will live in Oregon. If Zac stopped to think about it it was absurd. Even more absurd was to think that even him would never set foot in that house again.

-I will cry every night without him- his mother finally turned to look at him. Starla, despite her sixty-five years, was still an extremely attractive woman : blonde, without even a white hair , with sweet features and two large hazel eyes. Zac, however, could not help but notice that his mother was extremely tense and had two deep dark circles that furrowed her eyes, as if she hadn't slept well for months.

-Mom I'd take it , you know. I already have Puppy and Simon gets along well with dogs, but Dad insisted so much on having him-.

-No honey, it’s okay. Your father wants to do his own thing this time too ... where’s your brother? -

Zac tried to ignore his mother's unhappy comment.

-Dylan is in the garage helping dad, he is a little lost, but he'll soon get over it-

Stare was silence for a moment, she was pale. Then she approached the eldest son and hugged him tightly.

-Thank you honey for coming today. And thanks for dragging Dylan here. I know he's angry , you probably are angry too-.

Probably he was angry. His mother was probably right. Probably Zac should have been angry too. But the reality was that he was not angry, he was in a blind confusion. How was it was even possible that his parents, after two children and thirty years of marriage, had decided to put an end to their marriage? How was it possible that two people who had been madly in love for years now decided to divorce? And without even some drama. Zac had noticed that something was wrong between his parents during the Easter holidays, the last April, but had not given too much attention on it. He was so busy with his new movie and then what couple didn't have some bumps on the road after so many years together? Besides, he and his brother had left home at a young age and her mother had recently lost his father. Perhaps Starla and David were just going through a transition phase. But when the two young Efron brothers showed up home for the Fourth of July holiday , their parents sat them down in the living room, announcing their impending divorce. “ We don't get along anymore” his father had sadly sentenced, visibly embarrassed when his parents, Hal and Dot, both in their eighties, had asked for an explanation cause they were worried. Zac hadn't believed a single word because everything his father had said to justify himself : it just didn't make sense in his head. It just didn't make sense. Because two adults with common sense as her parents had always been don't wake up one morning and decide that they don't love each other anymore, that they feel so indifferent towards each other that they ask for a divorce. They were not an inexperienced young couple with small children, they were two mature people with children already away from home. Starla and David should have enjoyed the serenity that reigned in the Efron house…. and instead they had come to hate each other .

- Mom, can I ask you something? – Zac said.

-Anything you want honey-Starla looked into his son’s eyes..

-Dad was cheating on you? -. he knew he was crossing a fine line between respect for his parents and irreverence, but he wanted honesty from both of his parents.

Starla started to hear those words coming from one of her children. He looked to Zac straight in the eyes.

-Zachary ...-

-I am serious mom. I know it's not a question ... it's not a simple question to answer-

-It is not a question a child should ask to his mother-

-Mom, please. You 've been talking to me about sex and love since I was ten and you and dad have been fucking open with me and Dylan. I just have to understand-

-Love changes Zac. It changes and in some cases it ends - .

The young man gave her a doubtful look: it couldn't be like that, it wasn't enough for him. Love ends for a reason.

- I don't think that's enough. Not after thirty years. Until last year everything was fine, you and dad loved each other. You and dad were fine-

- Your father and I had been in trouble for a long time. We had been in that way for a long time, but we gritted our teeth and always told ourselves that it was worth trying to fix things, but then we reached the breaking point-.

-How much time? -

- A long time - now Starla was slightly annoyed - please Zachary, these are ... these are decisions ... this decision that your father and I made was terribly difficult for both of us . But I want him to be happy and he wants the same thing for me. I know that and you and Dylan do not understand our choice, but I ask only to respect it-.

Zac took a step back. Perhaps he had exaggerated, perhaps he should have given her space.

.Ok- he replied, shrugging - I'm going to put these in your car and I'll be back-.

A moment later Starla found herself squeezed in the arms of her eldest son. Zac's arms encircled her from behind and the boy deposited a light kiss on her head. He had already got rid of the box.

-Sorry mom. Sorry- he whispered - I shouldn't have asked you those things-.

-It's okay- the woman turned to look him in the face and reassure him - I don't expect you and Dylan to approve this… this thing-.

The woman lightly touched the blue coin that peeled from her son's breast : it had been a year since Zac hadn't touched a drop of alcohol. He had done it for his health, but mostly for his family.

-Dad and I know that for you, the last year has been difficult , indeed the last few years . But we are so proud of you honey-.

-Mom ... - the boy blushed. If there was one thing he hated it was receiving compliments when he knew he didn't deserve it. His mother was right, it was a difficult year for him.

- After all, you have been sober for more than a year, not that you were an alcoholic before ... -

-Mom, stop it-

-What's ?-

-Stop! I don't deserve it! -

-What? You started drinking too much, you noticed it in time and went through rehab. You're a good boy and you always take care of your brother. Zac, you deserve these compliments. You are my baby-

-I am not your baby anymore, for many years now- Zac kissed her on the cheek. He was incredibly grateful to her. He was incredibly grateful to both of his parents. -Dyl and I wanted to leave immediately, but I think that we’ll sleeping here and we'll have breakfast together-.

-Do you wanna sleep here? Zac the furniture in your room has already been taken away-

-We will use the sleeping bags in the garage - Zac looked around , full of affection for his childhood home – I wanna sleep here one last time. The kitchen stove still works - his eyes twinkled.

-I will make the waffles that you like so much- said Starla-but you have to share the news you’re your father-

-Mom! -

-Zachary ! -

-You guys have been married for thirty years, and made eachother happy and now you can not share even a breakfast together? -

The woman bit her lower lip. She was thinking.

-If it's fine for your father , then it's ok- she finally said.

The young man hugged her again to thank her. He was sure she knew when that house meant to all of them and wanted to give her a fitting goodbye.

- Are you sure you didn't have anything else to do? You were supposed to go to Ashley's wedding this weekend-

-Ash will understand- zac said firmly - I'm going to tell dad and Dylan that we are stay here tonight-.

Vanessa sighed into the darkness of the room and read over and over again the message that Ashley Tisdale, her best friend, had sent her.

“Nessa, I 'm sorry . Kiss Austin for me. Call me for anything. "

That was Ashley. Vanessa adored her: even days before from her marriage to Chris, her best friend had think to herself for a second.

The girl didn't type a return answer, it wouldn't make sense. It was already three in the morning and she would call Ashley tomorrow so she could talk to her calmly. Austin's soft snore indicated that he had finally fallen asleep. Vanessa touched her boyfriend's blond hair - he looked so peaceful while he was sleeping. Austin seemed to be able to finally rest only when he slept: his mother Lori's condition had worsened further and she had been rushed to hospital. When doctors had informed them that she probably would not past the night, Austin had ended in a selective mutism. He had watched her mother suffer through months of cancer and now he was not saying that all the treatments, the money spent and the hours spent at her side were useless? That all the prayers they had addressed to God had not been heard?

Vanessa was his rock. From the exact moment she arrived the diagnosis she had done the impossible to stay close to her fiance. It had calmed him, comforted him. And so she had done that evening too, cradling him in her arms to make him fall asleep.

She wasn't ready to lose Lori either: she had grown a bond with the woman during those three years she had spent with Austin, she wasn't ready to give up on her. Not when the rest of the world kept spinning, when the rest of the people continued to live as if nothing had happened. Vanessa had always believed that if she behaved well, if she proved to God that she was a good person , then nothing bad could ever happen to her in life. Or at least nothing catastrophic. Thinking back it was a purely childish thought, but until then no event had affected that worldview. Yet in the last year she had had to change her mind. She had discovered that perhaps God did not listen to the prayers of everybody , perhaps God did not exist at all or perhaps he was just an old sadist who played to move his pieces at will on a large chessboard. There was no other possible explanation. God had blessed her with talent, fame and a peaceful family life. Maybe he had given her too much. Sometimes the girl thought she was the cause of Austin's suffering. He was too perfect for her. The Butler family was perfect and now Lori was paying the price for all that God had given to Vanessa. If Austin had known what she really thought he probably would have thought that she was crazy, but there was nothing that Vanessa could do about it.

Promise me that you'll take care of him.

Those were the last words Lori had said to her three days ago . She hadn't said them with the knowledge that they would be the last words she would ever say to her future daughter in law but they were. And now Vanessa feel that she is responsible for Austin's happiness. Lori had been her son's chosen one for years and now she was gone forever. It was up to Vanessa, therefore, to try to make her boyfriend's life as normal as possible.

The girl sighed heavily as she retraced the events of the previous days. It was all still confused. Lori's funeral had only taken place that same afternoon. The memory, however, was blurred in the girl's mind and seemed to belong to centuries ago. Lori had wanted to die in the hospital in Los Angeles, where she had spent the last few weeks of her life. The funeral ceremony therefore took place in Los Angeles, where the woman's body was cremated. If she closed her eyes, Vanessa could clearly see the broken face of Austin's father and sister, she could feel her boyfriend's tight grip during the eulogy. She hadn't cried at the funeral, she hadn't had the strength. She heard Austin move and mutter something in his sleep and so Vanessa’s gaze fall on the alarm clock: three in the morning. She might as well try to sleep for at least a couple of hours. In the morning, Austin's family would take Lori's ashes home to their family home in Anaheim . Austin needs her. He would need all the affection he could get. The girl switch off the cell, laid her head on the pillow and fell into a deep dreamless sleep.

#🤍🤍🤍#submission #fanfiction

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