#to thread this world with someone who deeply understands you and inspires you and comforts you and share both the mundanity of daily life

[fagatakonin]

It's not quite jealousy i feel towards happy couples it's more like. A feeling of loss of something i never had

[kaija-rayne-author]

Hi, I'm in the middle of creating a list of books by autistic authors with more than one central/significant autistic character. It is on Goodreads right now, and I was thinking about also making a twitter thread to find more upcoming works, especially by authors of colour. The goal is to showcase books where there is more than one Autistic character who is central to the work. E.g. protagonist and love interest(s), multiple pov characters, mother and kids, main character and their community, a supervillain and their archnemesis... anything where the primary relationships, plot and narrative force comes from multiple autistic people. This is kind of a complicated question, because I remember seeing on twitter that you sort of accidentally wrote Rhian as autistic but as far as I know this is not on-page or stated elsewhere. In SoulBound, I really loved how Rhian relates to him by talking about how it felt for her when she first learned to shadowmelt and then they hold hands and ground themselves together, and although I'm not sure if you meant it this way, the way they communicate feels very neurodivergent to me. Would you say that both Rhian and Lynn are autistic, although with Rhian it is not explicity named on page, or is Lynn the only autistic character although Rhian possibly has some autistic traits, as a reflection of you as an author?

As a separate question, if you think that SoulBound does meet the specifications, would you be comfortable with it being added to the list? I know that visibility can be tricky and vulnerable to put on the page or be open about, and that sometimes people prefer to keep things not publicly labelled in a specific way, so I would only want to add SoulBound if you agreed.

Thanks so much! Please feel free to message me directly if you have any questions.

I'm not sure if you understand how happy getting this made me. I cried happy tears. I often feel like I'm just throwing my brain babies into an empty void because I never see them on lists, or people talking about them, and I'm never gonna get my magic Unicorn for hitting 50 reviews on Amazon 😅🦄.

I get why, people don't often like to talk about books with certain types of content, but as the author, it's miserable to just not know which characters people loved, what things they enjoy about my work, or if something meant something to someone. I hear absolutely nothing about my work, and when I look, there's very little. TBH, I learned to stop looking. This is possibly the first time someone wanted to add them to a goodreads list.

I live in desperate hope for fanfic or fanart. The idea of someone loving something I created so much that it inspired them to create is just mind-boggling. It's definitely author goals for me.

My heart projects mean so very much to me and one of the reasons I write and share what I write is because an author's words have absolutely kept me breathing through hard times. There have been nights where if I didn't have another author's words to cling to, I probably wouldn't have seen the dawn.

If I and my work can be that hand in the dark telling people like me that there's still beauty and hope in the world... then publishing as a poverty stricken author has meaning and is worth it. Of course, it would be really nice if my books or patreon made me a living wage. I could write so many more books if I didn't have to worry so much about affording the basics! At the end of the day, I'm a pretty decent writer and I deeply wish I could afford to do it more often.

So, thank you so very much. You made my day ❤ (maybe my month).

Now to your question.

Rhian has always been autistic/ADHD, from the very first moment she marched into my head and demanded to be written. She's written with some of my stims and autistic ways of thinking, her ADHD manifests like mine does. I did downplay that a bit with her character for reasons, but she absolutely is. I was extremely hesitant to label her such on page because of her profession. There are some rather common assumptions people make about someone who murders people. Even if she's sanctioned by a God, she's still a murderer.

It's always, 'the shooter was autistic or mentally ill'. When 3% of violent crime is committed by mentally ill and neurodivergent people, and 97% of it by regular neurotypical people, it's a fraught subject. I didn't want to add to that incorrect and painful prejudice. It already harms enough people. I don't mind answering here, because there's space to explain my reasoning.

Y'know, I'd just written the handholding scene when I said I'd accidentally outed Rhian as autistic on Twitter 🤣. It was just so obvious in that scene. I didn't label it specifically because of prejudice, but I figured people who needed to see it would likely be able to.

Kai has ADHD. I tried to depict that in him by how he's always on the go, and with his temper. A lot of ADHDers have quick tempers that can get away from us. I did my best to keep him just ADHD for variety, but he's neurodivergent too. He may have some autistic traits simply because I'm autistic.

With Lynn... I showed a lot of my personal autistic and ADHD traits that I rarely let anyone see. It was hard to write for me because, well, people are already really awful to autistic/ADHD folks, and I didn't want to add to that with my depiction. Yet, at the same time, I wanted to let people see that rep. We need actual rep of what autistic people are really like. It's a part of most autistic/ADHD folks lives. Meltdowns aren't an automatic part of being autistic/ADHD. Something has to push us to that, usually traumatic or overwhelming stuff. But they do happen, and maybe by showing Lynn's meltdown, it helps someone.

I agonized for a while after writing Soulbound about whether I should take the meltdown scene out or not.

The handholding scene really just felt perfect to me because it's how I would react. Little steps toward intimacy. I absolutely meant that scene to read as two NDs grounding themselves together and also showing unequivocally the step they were taking, together. I think with intimacy, especially physical intimacy, the way autistic/ADHD folks do things isn't really shown much. I wanted to show it.

I mean, there's still a lot of people who infantilize us and think we couldn't possibly be interested in sex and romance, when in many cases, it's the exact opposite of the truth. Many of us do indeed want to have those things. It's just way harder for us to find it.

I'm very comfy with you adding my work to your list. Honestly, I'm thrilled, awed, and honoured. Thanks again. Not all of my work has multiple NDs, but most of it does.

So for ease of reference:

Ace Assassin series

Rhian (Risk, Rhi): autistic, ADHD, OCD, high anxiety, generalized anxiety, panic attacks, chronic severe depression, CPTSD. Also demisexual, grey aromantic, bisexual, genderfluid non-binary, submissive if she can trust who she's with. Can switch to Top but it’s not her preference.

Alkaios (Kai): ADHD, anxiety, depression, CPTSD, abandonment & trust issues. Also pansexual, allosexual, alloromantic, genderqueer, polyamorous, kinky, Dominant but can switch with Lynn, no one else.

Lachlan (Lynn): autistic, ADHD, OCD, high anxiety, suicidal ideation, depression, CPTSD, self-harming behavior. Also bisexual, genderqueer, kinky, Dominant but can switch, polyamorous, allosexual, alloromantic.

Ilavanian Dreams series (repub 2023/2024?)

Tormaëline (Maël, Maëlcolm): Autistic, ADHD, prone to dark depressive episodes and lying to himself, self-harming behavior in a variety of ways. Pansexual, demisexual, aromantic, gender-fluid, polyamorous, kinky, Dominant but can switch with someone he deeply trusts.

Cameron (Cam, Tànaiste): Autistic (different flavour than his brother), depression, periods of deep melancholy, pansexual, demisexual, alloromantic, polyamorous, kinky, Dominant but can switch with Li.

Carnelian (Li, Selinas): Autistic, depression, panic attacks/anxiety disorder, CPTSD w/heavy trauma from what was done to xyr and how xie grew up. Gender neutral non-binary, pansexual, grey aromantic, polyamorous, kinky, Dominant but can either switch or pretend to with a client.

Astrophilos (Los): ADHD, chronic severe depression with suicidal ideation. Genderfluid non-binary, though he doesn't really feel the need to display it or fuss about it. Pansexual, kinky, polyamorous, allosexual, grey aromantic, Dominant but can switch with Maël.

Kataniya (Kat, Kitten): Autistic/ADHD, severe chronic depression, anxiety, CPTSD, suicidal thoughts, DID, cleithrophobia, claustrophobia, pathological need for freedom. Bisexual for now, (she's still young so still figuring herself out). Gender non-conforming, demisexual, alloromantic, kinky, polyamorous, submissive.

Maikke (Mai): Anxiety with panic attacks, CPTSD, lost memories, gender non-conforming, allosexual, demi-romantic, pansexual, polyamorous, kinky, switch.

Mothmen:

Shea: Autistic, ADHD, depression, PTSD, bisexual, alloromantic, polyamorous, kinky, switch.

Jai: Autistic, depression, generational trauma, CPTSD, pansexual, demi-romantic, polyamorous, Dominant

Ryan: ADHD, PTSD, kinky, bisexual, polyamorous, switch, demi-romantic

Unreleased books:

Sanctuary Heart (2023?)

Amon-Ea: Autistic, chronic illness, chronic pain, demisexual, agender, alloromantic, depression, social anxiety. There's no sex in this one. It's the one I wrote for sex-neg folks who wanted to read my work. (There's only one ND character who drives the plot in this one, there may be more stories in the series depending on reader reaction. If so, a rescued sea person and Amon-ea's brother are also ND.)

Faerie Glamour (2024?): current WIP

Liadhain (LEE-ah-thane): autistic/ADHD, chronic pain, chronic illness, demisexual, bisexual, grey aromantic, polyamorous.

Ruaidhri (RUR-ee): ADHD, anxiety, depression, claustrophobia. Allosexual, pansexual, grey-aromantic, polyamorous.

Finnvarr, Finn (Fin): Autistic, chronic severe depression, social anxiety, CPTSD. Bisexual, demisexual, grey aromantic, polyamorous, trust issues the size of mount fiji.

There's a few more ND characters, but I'm still working on this one.

That's most of the main characters. If you have any questions please feel free to ask! I sorta threw a lot of info at you. Oops. 😅

For anyone interested in reading about the adventures of my brain babies, here's some links. These will take you to the first chapter in each book so you can see if my writing voice works for you. Please remember to be careful about the content warnings.

I'm so freaking terrible at self-promo 🥴.

Links to first chapters of my books

Bloodbound is the series starter for Ace Assassin

Prelude of Bloodbound

Mothmen is a standalone novella based on the urban legend about mothman.

Sample of Mothmen

Ilavani is the series starter for Ilavanian Dreams.

First chapter of Ilavani

Note that Ilavani is still down for a new cover. It's almost finished and depending on how much life throws at me, I hope to have it back out this year.

[how2fit]

Friendship is one of the most wonderful things in life. It brings so much joy and memorable moments. It brings support when times are tough. And it simply makes life more fun and meaningful. So in today’s post I’d like to share 125 of the most powerful, funny, heartwarming and true short friendship quotes. I hope you’ll find something helpful here to appreciate and deepen your own friendships even more and to give thanks to someone special in your life via a text or maybe a card if they have a birthday coming up soon. Short and Inspirational Friendship Quotes “Friendship is the only cement that will ever hold the world together.” – Woodrow T. Wilson “Friends are the siblings God never gave us.” – Mencius “A single rose can be my garden… a single friend, my world.” – Leo Buscaglia “Each new friendship can make you a new person because it opens up new doors inside of you.” – Kate DiCamillo “True friendship is when two friends can walk in opposite directions, yet remain side by side.” – Josh Grayson “Don’t make friends who are comfortable to be with. Make friends who will force you to lever yourself up.” – Thomas J. Watson “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” – Dale Carnegie “Ultimately the bond of all companionship, whether in marriage or in friendship, is conversation.” – Oscar Wilde “If you go looking for a friend, you’re going to find they’re very scarce. If you go out to be a friend, you’ll find them everywhere.” – Zig Ziglar “No person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow.” – Alice Walker “Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.'” – C.S. Lewis “True friendship comes when the silence between two people is comfortable.” – David Tyson “A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same.” – Elbert Hubbard “A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself.” – Jim Morrison “Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.” – Eleanor Roosevelt “To the world you may be just one person, but to one person you may be the world.” – Dr. Seuss “Friendship marks a life even more deeply than love. Love risks degenerating into obsession, friendship is never anything but sharing.” – Elie Wiesel “The greatest compliment that was ever paid me was when someone asked me what I thought, and attended to my answer.” – Henry David Thoreau “One measure of friendship consists not in the number of things friends can discuss, but in the number of things they need no longer mention.” – Clifton Fadiman “A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow.” – William Shakespeare “Keep away from those who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you believe that you too can become great.” – Mark Twain Aesthetic Short Friendship Quotes for Best Friends “Real friendship, like real poetry, is extremely rare — and precious as a pearl.” – Tahar Ben Jelloun “Friendship is the wine of life.” – Edward Young “A friend is one of the best things you can be and the greatest things you can have.” – Sarah Valdez “Friendship is the golden thread that ties the heart of all the world.” – John Evelyn “True friendship multiplies the good in life and divides the evil.” – Baltasar Gracian “What you do not want done to yourself, do not do to others.” – Confucius “Friends are those rare people who ask us how we are and wait to hear the answer.” – Ed Cunningham “The tender friendships one gives up, on parting, leave their bite on the heart, but also a curious feeling of a treasure somewhere buried.” – Antoine de Saint-Exupéry “Do I not destroy my enemies when I make them my friends?” – Abraham Lincoln “Try to be a rainbow in someone’s cloud.”

– Maya Angelou “All love that has not friendship for its base, is like a mansion built upon the sand.” – Ella Wheeler Wilcox “Friends show their love in times of trouble, not in happiness.” – Euripides “Friendship improves happiness and abates misery, by doubling our joys and dividing our grief.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero “Some people arrive and make such a beautiful impact on your life, you can barely remember what life was like without them.” – Anna Taylor “True friends are like diamonds — bright, beautiful, valuable, and always in style.” – Nicole Richie “In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, for in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.” – Khalil Gibran “The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart.” – Elisabeth Foley “Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is made by the friends we choose.” – Tennessee Williams “A friend who understands your tears is much more valuable than a lot of friends who only know your smile.” – Unknown “Sweet is the memory of distant friends! Like the mellow rays of the departing sun, it falls tenderly, yet sadly, on the heart.” – Washington Irving Cute Short Friendship Quotes “If you live to be 100, I hope I live to be 100 minus 1 day, so I never have to live without you.” – Winnie the Pooh “I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen.” – Ernest Hemingway “Because of you, I laugh a little harder, cry a little less, and smile a lot more.” ��� Unknown “Anything is possible when you have the right people there to support you.” – Misty Copeland “A sweet friendship refreshes the soul.” – Proverbs 27:9 “Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer.” – Ed Cunningham “Wishing to be friends is quick work, but friendship is a slow ripening fruit.” – Aristotle “Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive.” – Anais Nin “When you can’t look on the bright side, I will sit with you in the dark.” – Unknown “If you make friends with yourself you will never be alone.” – Maxwell Maltz “A day without a friend is like a pot without a single drop of honey left inside.” – Winnie The Pooh “There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.” – Linda Grayson “The only rose without thorns is friendship.” – Unknown “Life is the best when it’s got plenty of good friends and great adventures.” – Sandra Shea “The royal road to a man’s heart is to talk to him about the things he treasures most.” – Dale Carnegie “My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me.” – Henry Ford “A good friend is like a four-leaf clover; hard to find and lucky to have.” – Irish Proverb “True friends are never apart, maybe in distance but never in heart.” – Helen Keller “Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It’s not something you learn in school. But if you haven’t learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven’t learned anything.” – Muhammad Ali “How many slams in an old screen door? Depends how loud you shut it. How many slices in a bread? Depends how thin you cut it. How much good inside a day? Depends how good you live ’em. How much love inside a friend? Depends how much you give ’em.” – Shel Silverstein Funny Short Friendship Quotes “In the cookie of life, friends are chocolate chips.” – Salman Rushdie “Friendship is like peeing in your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel a warm feeling inside.” – Unknown “I love that our effortless friendship fits perfectly with my laziness.” – Bob Simmons “The best memories come from bad ideas done with best friends.” – Unknown “I was an innocent being, then my best friends came along.” – Sarah Kelly “Friends make you smile – best friends make you giggle ’til you pee your pants.” – Terri Guillemets “As soon as I saw you, I knew an adventure was going to happen.” – Winnie The Pooh

“Best friends don’t care if your house is clean. They care if you have wine.” – Unknown “If you are ever lucky enough to find a weirdo, never let them go.” – Matthew Gray Gubler “One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.” – George Carlin “I think we’ll be friends forever because we’re too lazy to find new friends.” – Unknown “A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success.” – Doug Larson “Most of us don’t need a psychiatric therapist as much as a friend to be silly with.” – Robert Brault “A friend is someone who knows all your stories. A best friend helps you create them.” – Bob Simmons “I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar, but I cherish the friend who for me does not consult his calendar.” – Robert Brault “When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun.’” – Groucho Marx “Friendship is a wildly underrated medication.” – Anna Deavere Smith “One sure way to lose another woman’s friendship is to try to improve her flower arrangements.” – Marcelene Cox “A loyal friend laughs at your jokes when they’re not so good and sympathizes with your problems when they’re not so bad.” – Arnold H. Glasgow “Tis the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense, and to have her nonsense respected.” – Charles Lamb “You can always tell a real friend: when you’ve made a fool of yourself he doesn’t feel you’ve done a permanent job.” – Laurence J. Peter “A good friend will help you move. But a best friend will help you move a dead body.” – Jim Hayes Short and Deep Quotes on True Friendship for Women “It is the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter.” – Marlene Dietrich “I would rather walk with a friend in the dark than alone in the light.” – Helen Keller “When a woman becomes her own best friend, life is easier.” – Diane von Furstenburg “The love that comes from friendship is the underlying facet of a happy life.” – Chelsea Handler “For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness.” – Audrey Hepburn “Some people go to priests; others to poetry; I to my friends.” – Virginia Woolf “It’s not that diamonds are a girl’s best friend, but it’s your best friends who are your diamonds.” – Gina Barreca “Time doesn’t take away from friendship, nor does separation.” – Tennessee Williams “Rare as is true love, true friendship is rarer.” – Jean de La Fontaine “Depth of friendship does not depend on length of acquaintance.” – Rabindranath Tagore “Real friendship or love is not manufactured or achieved by an act of will or intention. Friendship is always an act of recognition.” – John O’Donohue “If it’s very painful for you to criticize your friends — you’re safe in doing it. But if you take the slightest pleasure in it, that’s the time to hold your tongue.” – Alice Duer Miller “Blessed are they who have the gift of making friends, for it is one of God’s greatest gifts.” – Thomas Hughes “Men kick friendship around like a football, but it doesn’t seem to crack. Women treat it like glass and it goes to pieces.” – Anne Morrow Lindbergh “False friendship, like the ivy, decays and ruins the walls it embraces; but true friendship gives new life and animation to the object it supports.” – Richard Burton “In everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being.” – Albert Schweitzer “A friend is one who overlooks your broken fence and admires the flowers in your garden.” – Unknown “The most memorable people in life will be the friends who loved you when you weren’t very lovable.” – Aidan Chambers “One of the tasks of true friendship is to listen compassionately and creatively to the hidden silences.” – John O’Donohue “Growing apart doesn’t change the fact that for a long time we grew side by side; our roots will always be tangled. I’m glad for that.”

– Ally Condie “When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain.” – Henri Nouwen “We’re born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we’re not alone.” – Orson Welles “Never idealize others. They will never live up to your expectations. Don’t over-analyze your relationships. Stop playing games. A growing relationship can only be nurtured by genuineness.” – Leo F. Buscaglia Short and Simple Friendship Quotes “Friends are medicine for a wounded heart, and vitamins for a hopeful soul.” – Steve Maraboli “Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity.” – Khalil Gibran “A friend to all is a friend to none.” – Aristotle “Awards become corroded. Friends gather no dust.” – Jesse Owens “Friends are the family you choose.” – Jess C. Scott “Find a group of people who challenge and inspire you.” – Amy Poehler “There is magic in long-distance friendships. They let you relate to other human beings in a way that goes beyond being physically together.” – Diana Cortes “Someone to tell it to is one of the fundamental needs of human beings.” – Miles Franklin “Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don’t say.” – Unknown “Friendship is accepting a person with all their qualities – good and bad.” – Mohanlal “The greatest gift of life is friendship, and I have received it.” – Hubert H. Humphrey “Friends are the flowers in the garden of life.” – Unknown “No friendship is an accident.” – O. Henry “A faithful friend is a strong defense.” – Louisa May Alcott “One’s life has value so long as one attributes value to the life of others.” – Simone de Beauvoir “The kindest way of helping yourself is to find a friend.” – Ann Kaiser Stearns “Be slow to fall into friendship; but when thou art in, continue firm and constant.” – Socrates “There is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true friendship.” – Thomas Aquinas “The most I can do for my friend is simply be his friend.” – Henry David Thoreau Want more timeless inspiration about friendship? Then have a look at this post with plenty of quotes on friendship, this one with many quotes on good teamwork and also this one with Valentine’s Day quotes for friends.

[binniesthighs]

➵ minho, son of hades ➵

Pairing: self insert, gender neutral reader x lee minho

Genre: fluff n’ smut

Tags: demigod au, inspired by PJO, sonofhades!minho, softdom!minho, mentions of death, blood, and the underworld, outdoor sex, unprotected sex (stay safe lovlies!), breath play, hand stuff (r receiving), marking, cockwarming at the end 

Word count: 2k

demigod skz mini-masterlist coming soon

{did you bring the mcdonalds?}

Though you had long forgotten, someone had told you once that there is always light in the darkness, you just have to be the one looking for it. But, what if it was the darkness in that light that sought you?

You had forgotten meeting him in the first place, but now he was everywhere, in the dawn and the dusk, in dark corners that you used to fear, but now welcomed. Reflected in his eyes was hellfire: he singed with burning edges but froze over with a bite. You should have been scared of him, as any sane person would. 

In those creeping tendrils of shadow, ebony wisps of smoke where the ones that entangled their fingers in yours. His hands were cold wrapped up in pale white skin that wasn’t stark, but rather mimicked the moonlight he had brought you to. 

Silver dewdrops were sprinkled at your feet where they clung to the blades of youthful spring grass. The chill of the night was just enough to make you shiver, but having gotten used to him, you could handle the cold. He tugged at your wrist, saying nothing, but twisting between the slabs of limestone and concrete. 

“Respect the dead. Just because they’re gone, it doesn’t mean that they weren’t people too.” 

His reminders would linger on your mind, much like the ways that he would tell you stories about what it was like...the underworld. Having been there so many times, you would have thought that it would have made him jaded, or broken him in some kind of way that made the pieces of him just a bit disjointed. But, it never did. 

A thin fog held over the cemetery just barely above your shins, and the humidity stuck to your bare legs. Wings flapped above to two of you: birds or bats, you couldn’t tell, but it somehow felt comforting knowing that you’re weren’t the only ones awake at this hour. Amongst the chirp the the crickets, the little string of silver and brass keys jingled at his waist. 

He had lead you deeper, nearest to the edge of the little maze of stones, to a pure, marble white gazebo cut from the smoothest white rocks. The stone itself appeared to glisten like the foamy crests of waves. In the middle, was a single large bench of the same cut. 

“Lets sit here for a while.” 

You know what that strand of skeleton keys meant, each one bearing the symbols of Hades. “Minho, I-I know what you’re going to say--” 

“--I have to go back. But, this time it won’t be for long.” 

“You can just...stay? Just for one more day?” 

An exhaustion dragged at Minho’s eyes, the kind that you had seen many times before on him. Even with wrinkles under his eyes, they were still set aflame with the same passion that each of the children of Hades held. 

“It’s important.” He simply answered, raising his freezing had to caress down your cheek. “You know that.” 

“I just wish you wouldn’t...wish you wouldn’t...” 

He had drawn you into his chest, a gesture which had felt different to you than it had with others. From a boy who walked the line of life and death so thinly, being close to him like this was your tether, your promise. His heartbeat thumped softly beside yours, and it was enough. 

He took your hands into his, “I got you something.” 

“You didn’t have to--” 

“--Take it. I want you to have it.” 

The sting of the metal necklace startles your skin. It was a simple sliver chain, but inlaid on the charm was a small garnet gem that sparkled like stars, resembling that of a pomegranate seed. 

“It’s gorgeous...”  

“-Pulled it out myself.” He swept aside your shirt collar to bring the clasps around your neck, then traced adoring fingertips over where it crowned your skin. His weary expression gave you a proud little smile. “It looks amazing on you.” 

“Why does this make it seem like you’ll be gone much longer than you say you are?” 

Minho sighed out with eyes cast to the rooftop of the gazebo. Etched into the stone was the insignia of his father: the pitchfork. You had been pretending not to look at it too. Once more, a hopeful little laugh slipped past his lips. 

“I thought that you knew that I’ll always come back to you? And they can’t harm me down there.” 

“You and I both know that’s not true.” 

“Don’t you trust me at all?” 

“Am I not allowed to worry?” 

After a moments pause, and the resounding sound of the hissing cicadas, he answered, “You are.” 

You should have been terrified of him. Even though you had forgotten meeting him, there was one thing that you had never let go of, and something that many misunderstood. In him, there was benevolence: something so deeply tranquil about the thread to be cut over life and death. You had never been fearful of him. 

The cold marble burned slightly at your thighs. 

“I miss you too when I leave. You’re the reason; you’re what keeps me coming back here so I’m never wandering. Understand?” 

The world turned a blur, and his fingers wiped at the tears cascading down your cheeks. 

“Please don’t cry.” He kissed at the salty tears in the corners of your eyes and cheeks as if he were healing the scars made by the stains. 

“I’ll miss you too. Like I always do.” 

“All the more reason for me to hurry back.” 

You scooched into his chest once more, taking a fistful of his cotton white shirt. 

“You always know what to say.” 

His hands took the sides of your face simply and carefully, hushing his lips lightly into yours like a whisper, like the way that the evening breeze got tangled in the branches of the birch trees. Soft and delicate like rose petals he kissed into your lips in the way that he would keep the shadows of the world at bay just for you. Minho wove delicious webs of want from corner to corner of your mouth. The taste of his tongue too bit like that fruit of the underworld, but to you, it had never tasted sweeter. 

With your hands weakly clinging to his shirt, he uttered, “May I have you one more time?” 

The fog had lifted over the cemetery, and you nodded right back into his lips. 

He rested his hand behind your head where he laid you down against the cool stone, the sensation giving rise to goosebumps on your skin. One by one, he laced his fingers between yours to your side while he returned back to your mouth to lend it his warmth. There was a mischievous little grin that teased from his lips to yours, then traced down your jaw to the twitching vein on your neck. With your closed eyes, all you could see was crimson and all you could feel was the way the he pulled at the skin of your neck, drawing forth those little marks he had given you dozens of before. 

Once he had finished painting your skin with his adoration, he kissed at each spot. The tingling sensation of his saliva on your neck mixed with the evening air sent shivers down your sides. 

The same cold fingers came exploring up the fabric of your shirt and swirled over your skin so lightly that you felt your whole body buckle. 

The evening’s breeze swept past you once more and his curious hands sent mewls from your mouth to mix with the symphony of the evening, but it was all for him. It only heightened once his hand had skillfully popped the button of your shorts, and his curious fingers delved inside further. He rubs at you purposefully, slowly, with fingers getting muddled in your arousal, teasing at how painfully needy you have become for him. 

“My love, there is nothing on this earth or in hell that will keep me from coming back to you. I’m just as much yours as you are mine.” 

You fight the tears that threaten your eyes, merely laughing out to avoid them. 

“You really do always know what to say.” 

“But I mean it.” He drags the pad of his fingertip over your slit. 

The marble is frigid under your bare legs and ass once he rids you of your bottoms, freeing more space for his hand to trace over the swollen skin of your sex. His lithe fingers feel intoxicating where he curves into you after wetting them with his mouth. Every electric little response from you and each half-uttered whimper and moan he lavishes in. In his obsidian eyes, you are everything that makes up the expanse between his two worlds. 

His other hand rides up your body to clasp around your neck, applying just as much pressure until your choked gasps test his own will. 

The keys on his beltloop fall to the floor with a metallic sounding clank. He sits, marveling at the vision of you before him, bathed in moonlight, and your chest throwing itself to every one of the gasps which chase the last. Minho looms over you like the shadow of coming night, and you welcome him with open arms.

Even like this, he should have terrified you, but never him, never the one who had guided you through the darkness hidden in the fissures of light. 

Minho gives himself all to you, coaxing himself into you deeply and completely: a feeling so whole that it must be impossible. Beside you, the earth resonates with cracks and fractures which send out little earthquakes amidst the slabs of concrete and little bouquets of wildflowers. A golden glow illuminates against the birches and the oaks. 

He’s lost himself in you, rolling deeply over your core as those branches bow in the wind. He’s cracked open Hell itself while he slips further into you. 

“M-minho--” 

“No.” He commands, and the golden glow illuminates his face, “Look at me.” 

He bites into your lip kisses of his own careless and breathy moans. 

“Look at me.” 

He renews his pace with the ever-growing spectral glow threatening to break the surface. The jet black strands of his hair bounce a little as he fucks you into the slab of marble, giving you no pause at all. 

“I-I’m--Minho--” 

The thin sliver chain of your necklace threads between his fingertips where briefly studies it’s shine. He’s kept the shadows away this long, now, as he finds himself near the edge too, the atmosphere turns heavy. Minho changes to lend your leaking and twitching sex the attention that it desires, and you unravel, just a little at first, then all at once. A mess of inhales and exhales flutter out of your mouth then your teeth catch your lip accidently, drawing just a little blood. Quickly, he uses his thumb to rub away the little red dot while chuckling, 

“Don’t get too carried away darling.” 

You look directly in his eyes as you shudder underneath him to plead wordlessly for what he knows you want. You can barely manage the words, but you know it’ll be all that it takes. 

“Feel you-inside...I-I want you to--” 

With one of his freezing hands, he hikes your thigh up to find his perfect angle, grazing you deep inside. White noise fills up your head when he drives one more orgasm out of you, turning you inside out into a proper, quivering mess. The marble doesn’t feel as cold anymore when he cums inside you with shaking thighs and a heaving chest. The pitchfork symbol above your heads catches your blurry vision, but so does the peaking red and yellow sun on the horizon that melts into the emerald tree line. 

Minho holds you into him for as long as he can manage. Unspoken words fill the air between you while you’re still connected as one. 

“There’s...nothing else I can do to convince you to stay longer with me?” Your fingertips find their way through his sweating scalp. 

He nods no with an type of acute sadness in his eyes while he memorizes your features for what he thinks to be the last time in a long while. 

“I can’t stay any longer. The business of the dead is much more different than the living.” 

Just past his shoulder, you discover three or four fireflies flickering like floating candles: the light in the dark: and you weren’t even looking for it at first. 

“Then at least, can I just ask until the sun rises? Will you stay?” 

He plants one last kiss upon your forehead, “Until the sun rises. 

[hopeymchope]

Godzilla Singular Point

I came into Singular Point with some trepidation because Godzilla’s history in anime is both very recent and extremely bad. The three anime movies released between 2017 and 2019 are easily the worst work of famed writer Gen Urobuchi and honestly contain more bullshit than I can even get into here. Those movies and this series were both Godzilla anime properties commissioned by Netflix, which didn’t get my hopes up very much. Thankfully, Singular Point is a very different beast from the anime trilogy. One could argue it’s very different from most Godzilla media, actually — at least from my perspective. And I’m still a pretty entry-level fan of Toho’s Big G, all things considered.

Let me just warn you right up front: This smartphone-based virtual assistant is basically the breakout star of the series. 

When you think “Godzilla,” you probably don’t think “incredibly dense sci-fi concepts,” but with the big G’s first-ever anime series, the writers clearly set out to change that perception. Before the first kaiju even appears, the lead characters are plucked from obscurity and dropped into a mystery that involves fourth-dimensional time travel, physical objects that look different from all sides, theoretical math concepts, self-propagating A.I., and a whole lot more. And it’s NEVER made clear how all of it connects to the rampaging kaiju! Although we spend a lot of time investigating a red dust or sand that is very obviously tied to the monsters in SOME way, no one ever makes a connection that explains the relationship. Maybe we’re supposed to wait for a later season to connect the threads... but let’s get into the idea of “another season” later.

I like to think of myself as someone who typically enjoys hard sci-fi, but even with the characters spending loads of time trying to explain the high concepts driving the story, I was never able to fully wrap my head around what was going on in the mystery at the center of GSP. I rewound and rewatched a few explanations, but I still walked away feeling lost. I eventually settled on some vague, loose understandings of most of the ideas mentioned, but those understandings were subject to being ripped apart in subsequent scenes when I was shown or told something completely at odds with what I thought I knew. I can’t say I was ever bored with the thick, dense scientific concepts on offer — trying to find purchase with these far-out ideas kept me glued to the screen — but damn, I sure wish I was able to comprehend them.

What do we want?! DENSE SCIENTIFIC DISCUSSION AND DEBATE! When do we want it?! AFTER THOROUGH RESEARCH, TESTING, AND PEER REVIEW!

Another weird thing about this show is that the lead characters remain in separate locations and on separate tracks for the entire duration. We have Yun — a mechanical engineer and programmer who has an amazing grasp on physics and human behavior. And we have Mei — a grad student who is deeply invested in theoretical science, UMAs, cryptids and other far-flung concepts. Both of them are basically geniuses in their fields, and even though they take opposing views of just how flexible reality is, their shared ability to think “outside the box” becomes the crucial component in solving the mystery at the core of the series. Because they don’t even know one another (despite being separated by like, ONE degree), they only ever interact via text messages and behind screen names, which feels pretty damn weird. At least  I immediately liked both of them, with Yun being the standout to me because of how his lowkey reactions to crazy shit generates a lot of humor.

This soundtrack cover LIES; you will never see these characters in a room together like this. 

Alas, we don’t get to know the characters a whole lot beyond what we learned of them in the first two episodes. It’s not long before they’re trapped in a series of complicated exposition dumps, endlessly attempting to explain the high concepts of the show to other characters as well as my dumb ass in the audience. The fact that I liked them in the first couple of episodes carried me through more than half of the show, but I was always hoping to see them share more of themselves or just display more emotion. Anime as a medium excels at emotional storytelling. But despite the major, world-altering events the characters are constantly warning us about, none of them seem to have many emotions about said events. 

Further complicating matters is how, when major events finally occur in this show, they are often kept off-screen. One character shockingly dies, but the portrayal of that death is so piss-poor that I didn’t even realize it’d happened until someone mentioned their death in the next episode. After that vague death, I was particularly sensitive to anything that looked like it might possibly be lethal. Yet a later event that is played up as a tragic, fatal occurrence ends up... fine, somehow? It’s not clear how the character survives, because — even after one of our heroes is left screaming their name in despair as they seemingly die — nobody ever talks about or explains how he’s just fine a couple of scenes later. And near the end of the series, there’s a major transformation that occurs for one of the characters, and we never see it happen nor do we understand HOW it happened. It’s just that suddenly, this character is extremely different due to off-screen reasons that are only vaguely verbalized.

I guess these two really bonded at some point for some reason? And what you are seeing here is literally the height of emotion shown in the entire show.

Even though the overarching story of the series so far pretty clearly wraps up in episode 13, we then get a post-credits tease for a potential second season. So the question becomes: Would I watch that?

Well... Godzilla Singular Point is a series with a lot of issues that kept me at arms’ length from it — tons of extremely confusing dialogue, highly frustrating choices in direction that lead to baffling storytelling, characters who are mostly exposition-dumping — and yet there’s still some foundational work here that I appreciated a lot. When the action occurs, it’s pretty cool/fun. And when urban destruction occurs, it can be awe-inspiring. The human characters, though little-explored, have likable and interesting foundations to them that could be expanded upon. And I didn’t even mention the soundtrack, which features a variety of musical styles combined with the classic Ifukube theme music and an OP that is an absolute banger. (I have a weakness when it comes to music; a good soundtrack can carry me through even the blandest series sometimes.) Even the core idea of centering a Godzilla series around hard science and mathematical concepts is a compelling one, I think! I just hated the execution of it; they went waaaaay too far on poorly explaining incredibly complex, mind-bending concepts for my pea brain to handle it. They spend so much time trying to explain things, yet somehow they never succeeded for me. 

Ultimately, I’d probably give the show another chance. But if I do give another season a chance, it’ll be on probation. I wouldn’t watch the entire season unless I could see within four episodes that they’d definitely improved things.

Would I recommend that anyone watch the series as it currently stands? I mean... not really? I guess if you really dig complex math, hard theoretical science, and/or Toho’s stable of monsters, then maaaaaaaaaaybe give it a shot. But otherwise? Naaaahh. It’s not good enough at anything to make it stand out from the anime crowd. I didn’t hate it like I hated the Godzilla anime films, but Singular Point is still something that both casual viewers and most fans can comfortably ignore for the time being. It’s not a complete disaster, and it’s not without its highlights... but it’s definitely disappointing in my opinion.

OKAYOKAYOKAY, so let’s talk about the kaiju for a bit! 

Below will be SPOILERS revealing all of the kaiju that appear in Godzilla Singular Point and giving my feelings on them. 

Godzilla — It’s interesting to see a version of Godzilla that borrows some ideas from Shin Godzilla. Shin G has been incredibly unique until now, but this Godzilla manages to fold some of Shin’s distinctive aspects in with the more classic/typical versions to build a fun new depiction. Be forewarned that Godzilla doesn’t show up until the series is halfway over, and he doesn’t get a ton of screen time, either. He’s used quite sparingly and kept in hazy settings, often framed from the neck-up when they show him. It’s a little frustrating that they felt the need to shroud him so much, but I respect the fact that whenever Godzilla is shown, the destruction he causes is on a scale far beyond anything that the rest of the kaiju ever do. He is pure devastation. 

Rodan — He’s easily the biological kaiju with the most screen time in Singular Point. Rodan is first introduced as one gigantic pterosaur, but if you’ve seen ANY trailers for this show then you already know that his depiction transitions into an asston of smaller pterosaurs, all of whom are also called “Rodan.” (Apparently the word Rodan is both singular and plural, like the word “buffalo.”) Although he looks kind of cool at first, pretty soon Rodan showing up isn’t special or threatening anymore. Rodan appearances go from “a big goddamn deal” to “some bland background noise” before the series is even 1/3 finished. The design might be a little too far removed from the original for my own taste, but even if I didn’t think that, I wouldn’t be able to care for this Rodan simply because he’s rendered so unimportant and unimpressive.

If you go out in the woods today, you’re sure of a big surprise... 

Anguirus — Now check this guy out! Anguirus gets one of the coolest fights in the show and also demonstrates some powers that are well beyond anything we’ve seen him do before. Because he sticks to unpopulated areas, we never see him do much damage to Japan, but he is definitely holding all the attention when he’s on-screen. He’s a highlight for me — a total badass who is very unique in his abilities. And the stated origin for his name is goddamn adorable.

Manda — Yup, Manda is in this series... but I don’t have much to say for him. It seems like the creators of the anime didn’t have much to say about him either. His role amounts to little more than a repeated cameo, and in most of those cameos you only ever see his tail. When we finally see his full body, it’s done so briefly and kept at a distance, leaving me with no real impression. I had to look up his design online and... yup, that sure looks like Manda. Final score: MEEEEHH.

Kumonga — I definitely did not see this appearance coming! Kumonga is much smaller here than you may be used to, but she gets to star in the most suspenseful sequence in the series and easily earns the most exciting cliffhanger moment at the end of an episode. I was utterly glued to the show during her screen time, which comes with a lot of icky twists. Good ones! I honestly like Kumonga here more than I ever have previously.

NEW PHONE WHO DIS

Salunga — Uh, who? This is the one monster that isn’t based on a classic Toho kaiju but instead is a brand-new creation. I suppose that everybody who touches the Toho Kaiju franchise wants to make their own mark on it in some regard. But a big part of the fun of this series for me personally was the anticipation of seeing new interpretations and designs of classic Toho monsters. And so, given that he kind of resembles both Baragon and Gabara, I never stopped wishing they’d just used one of those guys as the basis and namesake. Taken on his own, however? He’s... pretty neat. Not unique or exciting, but solidly above par.  He resembles a cross between a lizard/dinosaur and an ape, plus his head has some nifty coloration. 

Our Jaguar!

Jet Jaguar — I guess Jet Jaguar isn’t exactly a kaiju in the traditional sense because he’s a Giant Robot. However, if you want to consider him one, then I wager he probably gets even more screen time than Rodan! We meet him almost immediately when the series begins. Initially an odd pilot-driven robot that was constructed at the whim of a quirky old factory-owner with too much disposable income, Jet Jaguar grows and changes over the course of the show, ultimately undergoing a transition in episode 7 that makes him pretty damn impossible to dislike. In fact, I utterly adored him by then. This is definitely the best Jet Jaguar I’ve ever seen. His design is recognizably similar to the original yet utterly distinct, too. Like many of the other kaiju here, he’s not nearly as big as he was when he was first introduced to the movies, but his size is ideal for battling the smaller-scale monsters that we spend most of the series on.

[theimperialnuisance]

GETTING TO KNOW THE MUN

NAME: I’m not usually one to give out my real name so Nico is fine :3

NICKNAME: Nico, Kuu, Tiny (some of my tall friends call me that XD)

FACECLAIM: That’s a thing? Do I need one….?

PRONOUNS: She/her or they/them

HEIGHT: 5 ft and a half (and yes, the half is important ;b)

BIRTHDAY: November 12th

AESTHETIC: Oversized sweaters/shirts, rainy days, cozy bookshops/cafes, orchestra music, and cat cuddles <3

LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO: Kiss me by Sixpence none the richer

FAVOURITE MUSE(S) YOU’VE WRITTEN: oh gosh, I’ve got a few favorites from over the years of writing and roleplaying, the majority being not within the ffxiv universe and just throughout various rp threads and original stories but currently I’d have to say Kien and N’noah are my favorites. Both are my only ffxiv muses (for now) and I love them equally for different reasons! Noah is more of a comfort character for me and Kien is not a typical oc that I have so his personality and backstory gives me a good writing challenge and it’s fun to find lore on Meracydia and make my own hc’s too!

GETTING TO KNOW THE ACCOUNT:

WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO TAKE ON THIS MUSE: the fact that I could create my own character to go through the msq was inspiration enough honestly. I’ve always been someone who love creating characters for games or stories so when my friends roped me in to play ffxiv, Kien just sort of came to life as I began to mess around in the character creation! :3

It also helped that my friends had backstories for their ocs and it gave me the drive to weave my story into theirs so we could have our own canon story together while we went through the main story.  It’s been a lot of fun so far and I’ve met so many wonderful people with wonderful muses so I’m really grateful to my friends for introducing me to this game! <3 (ty always Blaise and Percy!)

WHAT ARE YOUR FAVOURITE ASPECTS OF YOUR CURRENT MUSE: Kien’s ability to observe and adapt—he spent his entire childhood dreaming about far away places so him getting to finally go out and travel the world is a dream come true and he really knows when to slow down and enjoy the moment. As someone who enjoys writing out details, his thought process is really wonderful. As for Noah, it’s her ability to cause trouble…sounds strange, I know, but also all the ways she just creates chaos is so much fun to write out.

WHAT’S YOUR BIGGEST INSPIRATION WHEN IT COMES TO WRITING: Music, for sure. I have a whole playlist of songs, most of them are movie/show and video game OSTs as vocal tracks can sometimes distract me unless the song lyrics have something to do with what I’m writing. I usually just listen to it on shuffle but sometimes I will search for certain songs to help get me in the right mindset for whatever I’m working on.

Bouncing off ideas and head canons with friends and mutuals also helps inspire me too! Though, sometimes if I don’t actively write down what was discussed (especially if it was all plotted out over voice chat or what not), I can sometimes forget the little details or I lose all inspiration to write once I do get a chance to and I have to start all over again…it can be a struggle ( ´∀｀)

I’ve recently found that screenshots can also help me, so I’ll sometimes go into the game and take the screenshots I need for what I want to write and go from there.

FAVOURITE TYPES OF THREADS: I honestly love a lot of different threads. I think my top favorite kind would be the ones where the character is put to the test and you can really dive deeply into who they are as a person. Kind of like “Here’s a situation, now it’s time to see if you’ll sink or swim” I really love character development and seeing what makes an oc tick so anything that can get that ball rolling is right up my ally. I also really enjoy fluff romance threads as I’m a bit of a hopeless romantic myself and I like slice of life every now and then so long as there’s a sort of magical/supernatural aspect to them.

Yay! I finally finished this! Life has been crazy busy for me so this has been in my drafts far too long. I was tagged by @sundered-souls and @bek-sc! I appreciate you both for the tags!

Tagging; @circusredmage @tokki-yue @omgpercabethsummers @sworn-unbeliever @decadentvelvet and anyone else who’d like to! But of course if you’re not comfortable filling this one out I completely understand <3

[ms-interpretation]

Again, I just love their conversations in the bamboo forest. They have reached a point here where they are ’simply’ asking each other: Who are you?

Their conversation in episode four starts with Lee Gon asking why she chose to be a cop, telling her that he, as someone whose ‘profession’ was determined from birth is curious about how others come to have aspirations. Tae-eul tells him of her childhood, about watching crime shows instead of fairytales such as Snow White and The Little Mermaid like other children. I suspect that this is a subtle character hint of how Tae-eul’s mother’s death affected her as a kid. TK:EM is a modern fairytale and the writer is definitely not trying to talk down to fairytales by having Tae-eul be ”too cool for such nonsense” or ”not like other girls”. No, I’m pretty sure this is a hint that losing her mother early affected Tae-eul deeply. It is understandable that a young child who loses her mother will not enjoy fairytales where magic and love conquer all. Of course a lot of fairytales do address these things, but I can easily picture a young Tae-eul grieving and not enjoying the ’kid version’ of these stories, which all inevitable result in incredibly happy endings. Instead she watched crime shows, probably with her dad, and realized that she wanted to become brave, having realized that not everyone can be.

So she decided early who she wanted to be and has consistently lived up to it. Remember her fearlessly deciding to take on all of Shin-jae’s bullies? Tae-eul grew up to be this fierce and confident woman who doesn’t back down easily and who has a clear sense of right and wrong (remember her calling out the PM in ep 13?). Of course there is more to her as well. Like Lee Gon she is slightly hardened by her childhood and while he doesn’t like to be touched she has some emotional barriers of her own. She became someone who is brave, but who also lacks faith (note: I’m not really talking about a specific religion here). She doesn’t believe in stuff such as fairytales (possibly meaning love, which is often what fairytales actually asks us to believe in). She definitely does not believe in impossible things such as parallel universes. Her line about not believing that the Earth is round is about her need to see things for herself if she is to believe in anything (she’s not actually a flat-earther). This is in sharp contrast to Gon’s faith in her (he believed in her even though her ID-badge and existence were both deemed impossible). While she’s been hardened to even the idea of things such as parallel universes or fairytales since childhood (cue to her meeting a handsome prince king who seems certain she’s his fate). His life is a dark fairytale, while hers has mostly been a gritty crime drama. He has had an impossible faith in her and his position has been determined since birth (an identity he struggles with). She’s a sceptic and someone who decided early on who she wanted to become (and is confident in that chosen role).

Tae-eul is revealed underneath to actually be pretty emotionally open and brave. During the drama we get to really know her and I believe that in a low-key way Gon helps her to open up, to how large and impossible the world really is and in so doing also emotionally. She’s introduced as someone who is always quite sarcastic. Which is often a sign of someone who keeps their emotions under wraps. However as they grow closer she opens up about looking for her mother’s counterpart, wants to comfort him about his trauma (struggling a bit with how) and is just simply very emotionally brave. Choosing to love an uncertain fate in episode eight. Their reunion in episode 12 also comes to mind and it all culminates in her brave decision at the end of episode 15, where she risks everything. Lee Gon asks her early on to take a leap of faith, to believe him (several times in the first few episodes) and to choose him. She manages to take this leap and is revealed during the drama to be a person who deeply and bravely feels. 

Something I absolutely love here is Lee Gon expressing admiration at Tae-eul’s decision to be brave. He asks her why she chooses to do such a dangerous job, and she replies proudly and almost in a bit of an arrogant tone (which I love) that yes her job is dangerous. She adds that she chose such a dangerous job because she chooses to be brave, in light of the fact that not everyone can be. He is pleasantly surprised and expresses his admiration of her. As he does so, Tae-eul also reveals some of her interest in him. Asking him, genuinely curious, what kind of King he is (while describing him as handsome haha). It is also telling that this is the moment Tae-eul thinks back to after Lee Gon has left. This is the moment their connection really takes root. 

So what does he respond? He lists several things, the second-to-last of which that he is the owner of the Four Tiger Sword. Which is synonymous with being a King with a calling. He is not someone who could choose his aspirations, but is a man born into a divine destiny. (Interesting to note that Kings were often historically described as being chosen by God). He will later in the episode choose to confront his past and bring the aforementioned sword back into the King’s room, its rightful place*. Possibly inspired by Tae-eul’s words about bravery and by how she has chosen her path. In episode 16 it is this discussion, her words about being brave, which will move him to dare let the Night of Treason play out differently.

A great aspect of Lee Gon and Jeong Tae-eul is that despite their differences they have some core aspects in common. They are both driven by a sense of responsibility and by the conviction to do the right thing. Lee Gon admits here to trying not to panic when asked what kind of King he is, revealing that he is struggling with his identity and destiny. Tae-eul is in contrast confident in who she is but acknowledges her lack of faith. They both grow by meeting each other, Lee Gon deciding to embrace his destiny and identity and Tae-eul deciding to be brave and to believe. They will both be pushed and challenged and they will both, thanks to each other, end up overcoming their obstacles and choosing each other. Lee Gon being challenged to take on his fate and to become the sage of the sword’s inscription while Tae-eul is challenged by her decision to be brave and to believe (culminating in her courageously risking everything in the finale). 

*There’s another blog that has written some truly great posts about Lee Gon’s and Jeong Tae-eul’s character journeys and their respective relationship to fate and faith. They were also the person who pointed out the importance of Lee Gon moving the sword.

Highly recommend, link: https://bebebisous33analyses.wordpress.com/2020/05/16/the-world-in-numbers-science-versus-belief-from-the-king-eternal-monarch/

This twitter thread was also great, it focuses on their personal relationship in this scene: https://twitter.com/greeneyedchick3/status/1283591811127111680?s=21

[theoriginalsuki]

Because if you like what I write, we probably have the same taste!

There’s a glut of well-written, well-crafted post-TROS Star Wars fanfiction out there, from fix-it to AU’s – not that I’m complaining! – but I’m-a just throw out some of the ones that have hit my sweet spot.  Please reblog!  It keeps the fic life cycle going.

Complete

The Ocean: A TFA Divergence by Journeying_Jane

I’m a die-hard TFA Kylo Ren fangirl (it’s my favourite of the trilogy, I know), and this divergence tugs the threads unravelled in the interrogation scene to a very satisfying conclusion, re: Rey and Kylo see their shared future a lot sooner, before the elevator scene in TLJ, and start to understand what they mean to one another.  Soooooo good.  (Rated G)

Air and Water by Flaignhan

The tender and thorough examination of Ben and Rey’s relationship, what it is, how it completes her, and their wholesome being-together that we ache for across three films.  Better than cozying up with a hot cup of cocoa on a rainy day.  (Rated G)

What She’s Worth by g_girl143

If Rey had been taken in by the Jedi Academy as a child and basically raised by Ben Solo.  Hear me out.  This love story is innocent and organic and is so well navigated that by the end you’re just like, yeah, of course, there was no other way that could have happened.  The *potential* is what it gives us.  I need to read it again, slowly and to savour, and happily await the sequel!  (Rated T)

Dead Space by Solia

Kylo Ren sacrifices himself to save Rey when they are stranded in a malfunctioning ship.  If you’re like me, and you like angsty grand gestures of love more than sexy times, this one is gourmet Reylo.  I’m so into the not-looking-directly at their feelings and extending that sweet pain for as looooong as possible.  Because, one brain cell!  (Rated G)

Paradise by englishable

Post-TROS, the only epilogue I will accept (except for Cleave, also by englishable).  Ben is brought to trial; Rey stands by him throughout; they figure out how to go on together.  It’s so wholesome and satisfying.  Let the healing begin!  (Rated M)

Near Kinsman by englishable

In post-Civil War America, Rey answers a bachelor ad and the most classically romantic love story since the Brownings unfolds.  (Rated T)

Delicious Ambiguity by Juulna

Some people like smut.  I like dangerous male-types harnessing their aggression toward protecting women and their unborn children.  That’s hot.  Some good TFA Kylo Ren being inexplicably soft with Rey and her Force-conceived twins.  Both of them have issues.  Both of them really, really love those babies.  It earns the happily ever after, which you know I appreciate so much in a fic.  (Rated M)

until you return to me by lovefrompluto

Rey accesses the WBW and looks in on every incarnation of Ben, all the lives they live together.  Such a cool meta on fanfics with a satisfying ending, giving Rey the agency she was denied in TROS.  (Rated M)

Killing Me Softly by AlbaStarGazer

I’m not a big AU person but the premise of this is so good and works really well with the characters as we know them in canon.  I also really appreciate a fic that isn’t afraid to look at the work of love.  

Ben and Rey, childhood sweethearts, married, are put to the test for three years after Ben gets in a terrible accident and forgets Rey.  She’s won’t give up on him, but she’s too hung up on the past.  He’s in love with her but afraid that all she sees is a memory, and not the person he is now.  Some really good character study and hurt/comfort with a happy ending.

WIP’s

The Argent Coda by BetweenTownleys

A deeply involved and well thought-out fix-it that makes me soft.  It’s not happily ever after (yet) and I am 100 percent okay with that.  The Force bond intimacy between Ben and Rey hurts soooooo good!  (Not Rated)

Conversations by acowlorsomething (suchlostcreatures)

Takes place after TLJ and moves effortlessly into the kind of interaction we want to see between Maybe-Ben and Rey.  Okay, what *I* want.  Nothing too easy, nothing too sexy, more of the same of the tender conflict we got from The Last Jedi, playing out in a believable way.  (Not Rated)

Bride of Fortune by SharKohen

Cute arranged marriage AU.  Rey is supposed to be a lucky bride.  So Leia Organa-Solo brings her into the household as her son’s wife.  They’re only young, so will they have time to chose one another before the age of consummation?  (Rated T)

Chains by Veggieheist

Rey is a slave on Jakku.  Kylo Ren picks up on her Force sensitivity and “buys” her.  Cue side comments from everyone that he just wants to sleep with her,  to which he is bewildered and frustrated.  Kylo doesn’t understand why someone so powerful would act so lowly, but when he pushes Rey hard, he finds out there’s more to her than he bargained for.  Or did he see it all along?  (Rated M)

hear my plea (and come save my life) by nouveaulove

Rey finds Ben alive but with amnesia.  I’m so soft for pining and protective Rey having to woo back Ben.  (Rated M)

Halfway, Between The Black and Grey. by PunkForTheMoment

Anakin helps Rey go back in time to the interrogation scene in TFA and she is anything but smooth.  Inspired by that meme.  Very promising!

My Fic

Epilogues by TheOriginalSuki

My initial self-help fic in the wake of The Rise of Skywalker.  Kinda dream-like with a hazy plot that is basically me just making myself feel better.  Maybe you too?  Some mature content, I don’t think it’s smutty, though.  (Rated M)

Rey goes into self-imposed exile on Tatooine.  After refusing to let Ben go, they break the laws of physics to be the family to one another they never had.  Healing can at last begin.

Battlefield by TheOriginalSuki

After The Rise of Sywalker I could see things getting worse before they got better.  If Kylo Ren had buckled down on the darkness after soul-crushing rejection from Rey and the trauma of seeing Luke again, how in the world would he walk back from that?  I’ve got it tagged “dominant Kylo Ren” but I’m not into abusive stuff, so don’t expect that!  I do however love the angst.  (Rated T)

Kylo Ren took the galaxy, and Kylo Ren takes Rey.  There’s nothing left for him to accomplish, Vader’s vision is complete – only he’s still in pain.  And no matter how he manoeuvres around the scavenger girl, it’s not easing up.

what stars are made of by TheOriginalSuki

Me trying to make a place to dump one-shots and dead-end ideas and probably failing.  Every time I pull a thread of “how things could have gone” in this universe, a whole world unravels!  Oops!  The tone of this one is completely different, inspired by the adorkable Ben Solo we got a glimpse of in TROS, and how he and Rey’s relationship plays out afterward.  (Not Rated)

Rey has a minor objection to being abducted.  Good thing Ben didn’t ask her, then!

The Stray by TheOriginalSuki for itsinthestars

Written for the RFFA fic exchange.  A modern AU!  (Rated T)

Rey moves in across the hall from Ben; a former foster kid alone in the city, aspiring to be an actress. Ben is a ladder-climbing white collar businessman with a horrible boss and zero social life. Which is just the way he likes it. So why in the world has this insufferable creature made it her life’s work to adopt him? From sharing her dinner to doing his laundry, she seems determined to make a connection. In the end, it’s easier for Ben to just let her. But opening up means letting your heart be vulnerable.

Hiraeth by TheOriginalSuki

A passion project.  I even have a plan!  Bonus – there’s Tai!  (Rated M)

Rey crosses over the World Between Worlds and finds herself in a time before Kylo Ren.  it’s been twelve years since her Ben dies, and she’s achingly in love.  But he has no idea who she is.

Beatrice by TheOriginalSuki for englishable

Illustrates the principle that good art generates good art.  Rinse.  Repeat.  (Raged G)

A brief character study from Ben Solo’s point of view, encompassing the three films and then a positive resolution.

[warwaged-archive]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm. tagged by: @theharellan ty so much! tagging: if you read this entire post I’m tagging you

My muse is:   canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless / complicated 

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO. Velanna is minor enough there isn’t a lot of talk about her either way (and I get it, given she’s a dlc character from Origins it’s understandable not as many people even know her), but I definitely see more dislike towards her than appreciation.

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. Honestly do not know! I have seen Debates about her personality and actions, but I don’t recall seeing people comment on her looks.

Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. Not particularly as far as I’ve seen, though I haven’t seen people say she’s weak either. Tbf given her introduction has you investigating murders that no one seems to think were caused by a single person and she literally turns a forest against those who pass through it, I think it’s hard to deny she is strong, though.

Are they underrated?  YES! / NO / IDK. Like I said, there’s very little talk about her at all, and very little appreciation. Velanna deserves more love c’:

Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO. She isn’t relevant for the story of any of the main games, given she isn’t even in any of them askdjfnskndf She is relevant to Awakening’s story, given she causes some trouble on the road to Amaranthine, and that’s how you meet her. You can kill her on that encounter, though, so for the rest of it she’s not essential (but killing her is boring guys why would you)

Were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG. In a way, since she’s causing some of the problems the Warden-Commander has to solve. Other than that, it truly depends on how you play it.

Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO. Nope. Just a Dalish gal who became a Grey Warden.

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. I lean towards neutral because Velanna isn’t a widely discussed character either way, but I would say it leans towards bad. Many people dislike her actions, and many more dislike her for her harsh ways towards the PC in the beginning (a non-dalish PC, that is). Velanna is very opinionated and angry and a lot of people seem to think that makes her annoying. A bad take imo but I think that’s pretty obvious dkfasndkfjanskdfjn

How strictly do you follow canon?  — For the most part I follow it, only expanding it for what we haven’t seen and filling the blanks. 

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.  —  I don’t know how to sell her to others so I will just talk a bit about what made her interesting to me. When you meet her, she’s so angry she’s been terrorizing the road and nearby villages so much people don’t even know what (what, not who) is responsible for the bloodshed. If you don’t bother to get to know her, it’s easy to think she’s just the anger, but if you do, eventually you learn a lot that might not justify her actions but makes them understandable, and that she’s so much more than Angry™. Velanna cares so much! For the Dalish, and preserving their magic and culture; for her clan, in spite of the fact her sister was the only friend she ever had; for her Keeper, even though they parted on bad terms; for Seranni, even after she chooses to leave with the Darkspawn instead of leaving with her. She’s outspoken and a great defender of her people, but not in a blind or arrogant way, and not in a way that causes her to inherently resent humans (it’s not history that causes that, but her own experience with having humans act violent against her clan and prefer to destroy the land to drive them away than attempt peaceful coexistence). She’s not driven by personal retribution, but by a relentless pursuit of justice that indeed is twisted into something more akin to vengeance. She acts on anger but she learns to be better. She’s been an outcast all her life, well before becoming the only Dalish in her group of Wardens, and she learned to be harsh to defend herself. She’s not easy to love, but she’s capable of loving deeply, and her loyalty to those dear to her is unwavering. She can be harsh because she’s so used to keeping people away in self defense, even if she’s lonely, even if it’s clear all it takes to get past that is treating her with kindness and respect. Velanna has a good heart, but that doesn’t mean she’s only capable of good.

In game, her growth depends on the PC of course, but the way I see it (and write her) there is no reason why her connections to other characters, such as Sigrun and Nathaniel, wouldn’t be just as important for it. They allow her to see beyond her anger, to move past her resent, and to stop judging people as if they were all equally bad. She goes from someone terrorizing humans in a forest and nearby road to someone who selflessly stands to defend them, even should it cost her own life. She goes from joining the Wardens as a means to finding her sister to actually taking on the role and its duties, not just as in fighting the darkspawn, but in being a protector.

And the way she values history, but not just the actual facts, the tales and legends and culture, how she understands their place as something of great importance definitely helped a lot in endearing her to me. According to Velanna, "Stories connect us to our past. They shape a people in profound ways. Without them, we are lost.” and I think about that a lot you know? It really gets to me c’:

Also she’s an awesome powerful mage who could and has killed a man (uh many men actually) but who blushes and stutters if you call her pretty because what are compliments she is not prepared to deal with those

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).  — Velanna killed people so she’s evil and deserves no forgiveness ever (which isn’t always similarly applied to other characters BUT ANYWAYS). She’s angry and mean towards the protagonist and because of that she’s not cool. She’s whining about the Dalish all the time too so she’s just annoying. Also I never tried to talk to her and often don’t even leave her alive after the Wending Wood. aidsnfkajsdnfkjn seriously though, I can see why people might not like her, as she isn’t made to be likable initially and you gotta get past that to get to the more interesting bits. Velanna is indeed very much tied to her Dalish background, as it is not only her culture and origin, but also a great motivator for her actions, and often even the means through which you get to know her, so if you’re not interested in the Dalish I guess she wouldn’t be an interesting character (but imo, it’s only natural her culture is so important to who she is, given her background and her own feelings about her people. she’s so proud of her heritage, even if being part of that people makes her a target for no other reason than prejudice. even then, she’s so proud of it and so ready to fight for and defend her people and speak and stand for them! I just love her a lot but ok I realize I should be talking about why people might not like her so let’s get back to that). She’s not funny, she’s not friendly, and she’s actually rather angry and outspoken, and I feel like that ends up pushing her to the more ‘controversial’ side instead of being part of the popular or likable characters.  

What inspired you to rp your muse?  —  Literally just played Awakening and ended up like OH I WANNA WRITE ONE OF THEM and I wasn’t sure about who. It wasn’t clear to me, at least, so I ended up thinking about them and at first I was like hm maybe Nathaniel, but it didn’t feel right even though he was the first one I thought I wanted to write. So I thought about Velanna, and the more I thought about her the more invested I became so I was like yeah that’s the one and added her here aksjdnfkjasndf

The first thing that got me really invested in her while playing was the conversation you have with her when you gift her the diary. I just really love her talking about the Dalish and preserving what they have and how important and meaningful stories are. That said, the moment I met her in the Wending Wood I immediately wanted to get to know her. 

I’m just a big fan of elves in case you guys haven’t noticed yet asksjnfsjkdnfkdjfn

What keeps your inspiration going?  —  replaying DA, but specially Awakening, Dragon Age content in general, discussing her with others (talking about my muses is always very helpful to me in that sense), and honestly, others being interested on her too. Discussions about the Dalish or headcanons or other people discussing Dragon Age and their respective characters also help my motivation too tbh! I’m always the slowest to answer to anything, but that’s just how I always am. Those are all things that keep my love for her alive, and thus great part of my inspiration for her.

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO / I TRY!

Do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO / SORT OF? when the inspiration hits I literally cannot shut up

Do you sometimes write drabbles?  YES / NO. I’m usually more about them 5 page headcanons and threads and ask answers than drabbles 

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO. she lives in my head rent free (as do most if not all of my muses tbh askdfnaksdf)

Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO / SORT OF?

Are you confident in your writing?  YES / NO / SOMETIMES. Depends but not usually askndfkajs

Are you a sensitive person?  YES / NO / SORTA.

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?  —  Depends on what that criticism is and if I asked for it? aksjdfnkjfn I do ask about my portrayals sometimes, and in that case I’m open to constructive criticism --- if there’s something you think I could do better and you can explain why in a nice way, I’ll definitely listen (though I may disagree, so there’s that). But if it comes down to rudeness or ‘you’re not writing her like I think she is’ then well that’s not my problem, I write her how I understand and interpret her. 

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?  —  I LOVE THEM! Send me questions about my muses literally any time I absolutely love them!! 

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?  —  Depends, again. I’m not against discussing it, hearing what other people have to say and why they disagree (and if they say they disagree, I’d probably want to know why), but ultimately, again, it’s my portrayal so it might just be a case of seeing things differently. Like I said, I don’t mind discussing it, though. 

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?  —  As to this, I just honestly expect people to act the same way I act when I disagree with someone’s portrayal, which is just moving on with my life and not interacting kasjafksdnfjk

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?  —  Depends. They don’t have to like the character, but if it influences IC interactions or if it’s just people who hate a character getting off of bashing them through IC interactions even if it doesn’t make sense that’s a no for me. I don’t like seeing people hating on characters I love, but people are free to do post what they will. If there’s a tag and I can block it that’s fine by me, if it isn’t tagged I’m likely to unfollow.

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?  —  If it’s done politely I don’t mind. English is not my first language and learning about errors is a way to improve, to me.

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?   —  I think? For the most part? I do tend to get defensive over characters I love and asks that aren’t clear in tone and come across not so nicely (OOC asks, I mean), but other than that I think I’m pretty chill? Idk though you guys tell me aksnkajdsfnkjan

[soocouldbemyonlystar]

Chaebols: The Arrangement Pt10

Genre: Chaebols AU/romance/angst/fluff

Pairing: Kyungsoo x OC

Rating: M

Length: 5.1k

I highly suggest listening to It’s You by Ali Gatie and Without You by Mad Clown ft. Hyolyn

First Previous Pt10 Next

edit by @lalahs85

Her art studio was turned upside down. At least it was form Jae-Eun’s perspective where she lay, sweaty and satiated on Kyungsoo’s desk. Inspiration had struck her in a dream, (a normal dream, the nightmares were few and far between) as she had gotten up to paint.

On the way out she grabbed one of Kyungsoo’s work shirts to cover herself and in the passion of painting, gotten medium on it. Oil paint is a pain to get out, if it will even come out.

Turns out the shirt was part of Kyungsoo’s forty-three thousand-dollar Brioni suit. One Jongin bought for his last birthday.

Later, Kyungsoo found her oblivious to the world and covered in paint.

A very serious scolding followed because though he knew she got caught up in her art, she needed to mind the things around her. In the middle of his rant, Jae couldn’t stop herself from dipping her paint brush in the cadmium yellow and dotting the color under his left eye.

His lips parted in surprise and he jolted forward. Jae-Eun squealed, dodging his advances, bolting across the room. She evaded him for a bit before he caught up to her behind his desk. His smile covered his face as he turned her in his arms and placed a kiss against her cheek.

Jae responded by pressing her thumb to the still wet paint and smearing it across his cheek before planting her lips against his. Jae-Eun never knew it was so hard to kiss someone when your smile was so big it wouldn’t let your lips pucker.

That smile has almost been a constant for the last couple of months. Kyungsoo and Jae-Eun were inseparable if they could help it. They still argued because they were both stubborn and opinionated, but that anger didn’t make it past bedtime. Talking it out before falling asleep was something they both believed was important.

They made it passed their wedding anniversary. As a surprise, Kyungsoo took her back to the island where they had honey-mooned, but this time there was only one bungalow, and they only ever left it twice. The first time was for dinner, the second was to walk the hiking trail, stopping in the same places to get pictures.

Kyungsoo wanted to replace the first set they had faked on their honeymoon, with real ones, for her. Accept the picture when she had surprised him. This time he reversed it, pressing a kiss firmly to her cheek. The resulting picture was Jae with eyes closed and an enormous smile across her face.

Where the first picture was the first thing she had sat on her desk at work, the second joined their wedding picture on Kyunsoo’s desk.

Baekhyun claimed they were the most annoying cute couple in the group, beating out him and Yeri, Yixing and Yan, Sehun and his new fiancé, Park Hye Jin, and Jongin’s girlfriend (who she had yet to meet).

Jae didn’t hate the title.

“I change my mind. You can wear any damn thing you want.” Kyungsoo’s labored voice brought her back out of her thoughts.

Their happy kisses took a turn when Kyungsoo discovered his shirt was all she was wearing. He’d lifted her off the floor and sat her on his desk. His hands found the shirt, only unbuttoning it made for slow work.

“Damn, Kyungsoo, the shirt is ruined.” She told him.

He understood, gabbing the panels in his fists, ready to rip the remaining buttons open.

“Shit, I can’t do it,” he released the shirt and resumed the buttons. With a laugh Jae joined him, hastening the time in which it would take to get his hands on her skin. He didn’t bother removing the shirt entirely, just filled those hands with tender, hot flesh.

When he joined them together it was a symphony of hands, lips, sighs, moans, heat and sweet. With their bodies held close, breathing the same air, they pitched over the edge one after the other.

Jae-Eun fell back, head dangling oer the edge of Kyungsoo’s desk, looking at her studio upside down.

Kyungsoo slipped his fingers into hers and pulled her back up to him.

“Mmm, next time it will be the Brioni jacket.” She teased.

Kyungsoo wrapped his arms aboutn her keeping her weakened body close to him.

“But you wouldn’t really though, right?”

Jae-Eun laughed, “No.”

“You want breakfast?”

Jae shook her head, “I’m going to get a shower and finish my painting.”

“It’s not ruined?”

“Oil paint takes longer to dry. I can get my shower come back and still blend that shit out.”

Kyungsoo chucked against her ear, a sound she was completely in love with, “I love it when you speak art to me.”

Jae slung her arm around Kyungsoo’s neck pulling him to her, brushing her lips against his. “I just love you.”

Kyungsoo moved her hand to press it against his chest. He did it every time she said the words. I never said it himself, but Jae-Eun knew it was his way of telling her how he felt. His heart pounded wilder than any drum could produce.

“Come watch a movie with me when you are done?”

Jae nodded. She felt warm and content in his arms. I reminded her of a little web comic she followed. Any time the main character came close to her love interest the artist circled them in a halo of pink, the darkest saturation of color just between the characters hearts. It was how Jae felt, saturated in pink.

She showered in a daze. The doubt was still there, that feeling of dread sat underneath the surface. But every day that passed lessened its intensity.

Kyungsoo had even stopped talking to Mi-Sun in any capacity other than work. Jae-Eun knew this cause Mi-Sun worked on a schedule coming to visit or bring her son at the same time every week. Time in which Kyungsoo now spent with Jae, in her office or at lunch. Any free moment they could find was spent together.

Accept for the times when he was with Chanyeol and Baekhyun. Jae was kept in the dark about their “business” but Kyungsoo promised he would tell her when the time was right. She didn’t like it, but after what Chanyeol gave up for her, Jae-Eun wouldn’t interfere or ask question.

Kyungsoo frequently sent the house staff home one day of the weekend, with full pay of course, so they could have a day entirely to themselves. It was usually spent in silence. They didn’t need to talk to understand each other, sitting together in the silence was enough. Then there were times when they stayed up talking about everything from her art, to their school days. He eagerly listened to every word, she said, watching in fascination of the passion in which she spoke with.

True to his word, her old room had been turned into a play room for when Yeri brought the kids. If she wanted to be serious, there were plenty of other rooms in the house for her to take if she wanted, but she had no plans to do so.

Their circle was expanding and so far, Jae-Eun really like the women, becoming quick friends with Yeri and Yan.

With work, new friends and being with Kyungsoo, Jae-Eun’s life was full. No matter what happened now, that wouldn’t change. She was happy in and out of her marriage.

When she returned to her painting, Jae-Eun again thought she agreed with her progress. Most of the dream she didn’t remember, just walking through the woods, the morning sun ahead of her, past the break in the trees. It felt symbolic.

It took a few hours to get to a point where she was satisfied. Jae would let it dry for a couple of days, then come bac and put in the last few details.

  She found Kyungsoo laying on the couch.

He was sprawled out across the couch, an arm behind his head his ankles crossed. Kyungsoo comfortable and content was one of her favorite sights. He was effortlessly beautiful. She was tempted the break out her sketchbook, this side of her husband was good sketch fodder.

"Leave the sketchbook where it is and come watch the rest of the movie with me." Kyungsoo's eyes never left the screen.

Jae-Eun couldn't stop the smile from forming. "And you say I know you too well."

He angled his head toward her, "Artist Jae has a tell. You raise your left eyebrow, squint your right eye and tilt your head to the side. I can always see when you are sizing me up for a sketch." 

He watched as she moved to him, crawling in between him and the back of the couch, cuddling up against his chest. 

"I can't help that you inspire sketches." She teased.

Kyungsoo's arm came down from behind his head, his fingers playing in the hem of her shirt.

"What are we watching?" 

"The original Count of Monte Cristo." His voice vibrated through his chest. 

Kyungsoo threaded the fingers of his free hand into hers, and they watched in silence as the falsely accused Edmund Dantēs finds his fortune and brings justice upon those whose betrayed him.

It was the moments like this, quiet and alone together, that made Jae-Eun feel optimistic about the future. There was no talk of messing things up, or failing, they just worked it out together. Kyungsoo wasn’t pushing himself to try, he didn’t have to anymore, he was just present. He wanted to be present, and that was what made the difference.

The movie ended, but other than to turn off the television neither of them moved. Kyungsoo inhaled deeply, his chest rising and falling slowly. Their fingers intertwined, played with each other. This was it. The Kyungsoo and Jae-Eun together, in the silence, just being.

Her feelings were thick in her throat. She needed a distraction.

Jae separated her fingers from his, and in one swift move jabbed her pointer in between his ribs.

He jerked, “Quit.”

She poked him again.

“Jae!”

A final stab sends Kyungsoo over the edge.

“That’s it!” he declares, both hands attacking her side. Jae-Eun screamed, launching herself across the couch from him. But he followed pinning Jae-Eun beneath him, his relentless assault had her laughing until her face was apple red.

“Stop!!” she shrieked.

“Say it first.”

“No!”

Her giggles and screams filled the room, echoed through the halls.

Finally, she relented, “Soo’s the best! Please, I can’t breathe.”

Kyungsoo hands moved to hold himself up. He watched with a smile as she struggled to catch her breath. Jae-Eun’s face was contorted into a half-happy-half-painful grin as she dragged lungs full of air in and huffed them back out.

Kyungsoo’s smile faded.

“Jae-Eun-ah.”        

She opened her eyes. Kyungsoo hovered over her, but his smile had disappeared. He watched her with solemn almost sad eyes. But today was a good day, Jae-Eun didn’t want sad.

Her hand came to his face, tracing the lines she found so beautiful. Kyungsoo leaned into the touch.

“God, I love it when you do that. I just…Jae… I…”

Jae-Eun shook her head, “You don’t have to say anything. Don’t say it if it doesn’t come naturally. You show me how you feel every day.”

He pressed his lips to her palm.

“How did I get so lucky?”

Jae-Eun giggled, “Cause our parents are smarter than we are.”

The smile returned to his face. “I don’t deserve you.”

“Don’t do that, don’t put me on a pedestal. I make mistakes, I’m human just like you.” She hated that Kyungsoo tended to deify her. Like he was a lowly person and she was something to aspire to. The fact that he didn’t believe he deserve happiness hit her hard.

“You are my favorite human. I mean, after Jongin of course.”

Jae-Eun smacked his shoulder as they laughed. Her hand came around his neck, pulling him down to her, his lips to her lips.

She loved all of him. His gruffness, his anger, his gentle heart, his loyalty, his wry sense of humor. Their life together wasn’t perfect, but she loved their struggles as well as their successes. Jae felt they could overcome anything together, and it was more than she had ever dreamed for them. She felt the tears well up.

Ugg, why was she being so emotional.

Kyungsoo’s kisses, washed it all away. She didn’t know what the future had for the two of them, but Jae-Eun was happy with the right now.

And that was all she needed.  

  In utter exhaustion, Jae-Eun leaned back in her chair, throwing her arms over her head in a relaxing stretch. The rush of Monday was wearing on her, especially after a peaceful Sunday at home. She didn’t mind the grind, but today it was hitting her harder than usual.

Adjusting her watch to check the time, Jae-Eun decided she was going to call it a day. Most of her employees had retired for the day. She knew Kyungsoo had a schedule full of meetings, her plan had been to hold out and go home with him, but her body ached, and home was sounding more attractive every minute she sat at her desk looking over ad pitches.

If she was quick, she could pop in to Kyungsoo’s office before the next meeting and see him before she left. The probability of his getting home before she fell asleep was low, and she craved a few minutes alone with him.

Jae-Eun shut everything down and gathered her things from her desk. Stopping at the door, she patted the wrinkles out of her navy, high-waisted slacks and silk, maroon blouse then locked the door and made her way to the elevator.

She promptly cussed her self for wearing the shoes she chose today, a wine colored half- D’Orsay pump with a pointed toe and stiletto heel. They were beautiful and matched her ensemble well, but the height had her standing taller than Kyungsoo, which she typically tried to avoid. But they had been sitting in her closet for some time and needed to be worn.

Regret had her sighing as she exited the elevator, her legs were paying the price for her vanity.

Secretary Yoon smiled as Jae-Eun approached the desk. “The CEO has about ten minutes before his next meeting, I’ll let him know you’re here.”

“Thank You,” Jae-Eun sang as she walked ahead to his door.

Waiting only long enough to the secretary to announce her, she made her way into Kyungsoo’s office.

Her husband looked up from his desk, his doe-eyes peered up at her from behind his horn-rimmed glasses. His face seemed to light up. It made her stomach flip.

“You’re still here?”

She dropped her things off in a chair and hobbled to his desk as he came to his feet and walked around to meet her. Kyungsoo’s eyes angled up to hers. In her heals she stood just taller than him. Kyungsoo laughed at the difference.

Jae-Eun stepped out of her heels, thankful for the relief… for getting out of her heels and for stepping into his arms. His warmth, his scent rolled over her like liquid energy. She sighed.

“I missed you too.” he beamed.

She lay her head against his chest. “I wanted to wait for you, but I think I’m give out.”

Kyungsoo held on tight, pressing his lips to her forehead. “You should head home, I have a budget meeting, I may be here for a while yet. We need to get it done and this was the only time we could all get together. Everyone is busy with the new resort and some other endeavors.”

“I know, I’m going, I just wanted to see you before I left.”

Kyungsoo took her head in his hands and leveled her face to his. “Now you have seen me.”

He pressed his lips to hers, molding them together. Jae-Eun’s heart pounded as his lips gently played against hers. She leaned further into him, absorbing every ounce of him she could get. That part hadn’t changed, no matter how much their relationship had. Jae-Eun still took everything he was willing to give her.

Kyungsoo pressed one more tender kiss against her lips then leaned back.

“I’m sorry I won’t be going home with you today.” He tucked a rogue strand of hair behind her ear. “You do look tired. I’ll come in a little later tomorrow and we can have breakfast together. Even lunch, huh? To make up for today.”

Jae-Eun pouted, “Promise?”

Kyungsoo gave a little nervous chuckle, “I promise. Now stop being cute and clingy before I blow this whole good CEO thing and just go home with you.”

He leaned into her again, but just before his lips reached hers the buzzer on his work phone rang out.

Kyungsoo sighed, “Just five damn minutes. That’s all I wanted.”

He mumbled as he pressed the button. “Yes, Secretary Yoon.”

“Director Yoo is here for the meeting.” The secretary informed him.

“Send her in.”

He turned back, “I’m sorry baby, but the quicker I get this done the quicker I can get home.”

Jae-Eun painted a smile on her face. She didn’t really feel it, but it was for Kyungsoo’s sake. “Wake me when you get in.”

There was a tap at the door before Mi-Sun stepped in, a black binder pressed against her chest.

She bowed, “CEO, Director Lee.”

“Director Yoo,” Jae-Eun acknowledged, it was the best she could give the woman.

“Early as always Director.” Kyungsoo fumed.

“Yes sir,”

Jae-Eun turned back to Kyungsoo. “I’ll see you at home.”

Placing a kiss to his cheek she whispered, “I love you.”

Jae-Eun stepped back into her heels and turned to the door but Kyungsoo’s fingers closed around her wrist. She looked back as he brought her hand up, pressing her palm to his chest, holding it there as his lips drew thin in a satisfied smile. Like always, his heart pounded rapidly. Jae was void of any words. Kyungsoo didn’t do public displays. He rarely held her hand in public, so this was unprecedented.

Mi-Sun watched with wide eyes.

“Be safe.” He said as he released her.

Jae turned in a daze. Barely recognizing Mi-Sun as she left his office, too bewildered to even pull his door all the way to.

“Good night Director Lee,” Secretary Yoon called from her desk.

“Huh, yes,” Jae-Eun mumbled as she passed her to the elevator. But as the door closed Jae-Eun came back to reality.

“Shit.” She forgot her purse and phone in Kyungsoo’s office. “Stupid.”

Maybe she still had time to grab it before the other members showed up for the meeting. The elevator opened on her floor and she popped out between a couple of the marketing employees and hit the button to get an elevator going up.

Secretary Yoon gave her a double take.

“I forgot my purse, they haven’t started yet right?”

She shook her head.

Jae-Eun walked on hoping to grab her bag without interrupting him. But her hand froze on the knob at the sound of Mi-Sun’s voice.

“But you don’t love her like you love me.” Mi-Sun inserted.

Kyungsoo’s deep, taut voice replied, “You’re right, I don’t.”

Any other words were drowned in the white noise that turned up like an empty channel on an old television. She snatched her hand back as if the door knob had burned her. What had she just heard? What did it mean? The world seemed to crack under her feet.

Jae-Eun backed away, turning and heading back to the elevators.

“Director?” Secretary Yoon called, but the sound was muffled by the static that flooded her mind.

Slamming on the down button Jae-Eun, slipped into the elevator. But again, as the door closed, the noise died and Jae-Eun was left with anger. This bitch was messing Kyungsoo again, her husband, the love of her life. How in the hell was she supposed to just walk away from that?

Even if he did still love her, the woman was toxic. Kyungsoo would never be free as long as Mi-Sun was left uncheck to wreak havoc on his heart. Jae-Eun didn’t care if he didn’t love her the same. Someone needed to be a buffer between them. He may get angry with her, may hater her later, but she would no longer allow him to be held prisoner by a malicious, manipulative woman.

She hit the button for Sehun’s floor, exited and hopped the next elevator back up. Secretary Yoon watched silently as she stomped past, the carpeted floor buffering the sound of the heals.

Jae-Eun swung the door open and halted in the door frame. Her rage was fueled even further as she watched Mi-Sun, arms locked around Kyungsoo’s neck, lips assaulting his.

Lips that Jae-Eun had just kissed.

Kyungsoo’s hands held firmly to Mi-Sun’s hips. Jae-Eun slammed the door shut.

Mi-Sun jumped back at the sound.

“Well look what we have here.” Jae-Eun taunted. “And I’m barely out the door for five seconds.”

Terror spread across Kyungsoo face. “Jae, please, it’s not what you think.”

Jae-Eun stepped out of her shoes and ambled over to them, “Nah, you don’t know what I think, but I can tell you. I think… I’ve been a little too nice, for far too long.”

With anger boiling in her chest, she set her fist free. It was the second time in less than a year. Jae was not a physical person, but she was past a breaking point.

Having already been subject to her fist before, Kyungsoo anticipated the move, ducking back out of its trajectory, only the punch wasn’t intended for him. It landed center, in Mi-Sun’s face. Long, dark hair flew around as Mi-Sun fell back, landing hard on her ass.

Man, it felt good.

“Did you think I was just going to sit here and let you continue to manipulate him? I don’t care if he still loves you. This ends now!”

Mi-Sun pulled her hand away from her face. Blood covered it, along with the lower half of her face.

“You broke my nose, you stupid bitch.”

Jae-Eun lunged forward, but strong hands lifted her off her feet and spun around away from the bloodied woman. She jerked out of Kyungsoo’s grasp, arms flailing, ready to give him what-for as well.

“Calm down Jae-Eun-ah.” Kyungsoo urged. “You have to stop.”

Jae-Eun huffed, straightening her blouse again.

When he was sure she was under control, Kyungsoo turned away, pulling some squares of tissue from the box on his desk, then knelt down beside Mi-Sun to hand her the tissue.”

“Are you alright Director.” He asked her.

Jae-Eun froze. An image crept into her head. One where she was in a white dress, on her wedding day, and her new husband was knelt next to a pregnant Mi-Sun, looking her over for injury. His worry had been palpable. The entire room of wedding guest watched the spectacle.

There were no guests here to witness this. Only Jae-Eun. No one to see her heart finally shattering into the tiny splinters that would sit in her chest, festering into hatred, resentment, and regret. She was hollowed out. Jae-Eun could handle his feelings for Mi-Sun, she had up to this point. But for him to run to Mi-Sun’s side a second time… Suddenly she felt weak.

“Jae, I think you should go home. I’ll be there as soon as this is over, and we can talk.” Kyungsoo stood to lean a hand on Jae-Euns shoulder, but she evaded the contact.

“Don’t touch me.” She warned calmly. It was too hard to look at him right now. “You… are no better than she is.”

Jae-Eun pointed at the bloodied woman on the floor, “You two deserve each other.”

“Lee Jae-Eun, go home.” Kyungsoo’s voice was low and dangerous.

She backed away, with a crooked smile she said, ��Of course, Yeobo.”

With the last of her energy spent, Jae grabbed her shoes and purse and walked out of his office for good.

  She wasn’t answering his calls. He wasn’t surprised, if he knew her well enough, she would need some space. But he couldn’t help hanging it up and dialing again.

Mi-Sun had been sent to the hospital to assess her wound. It took him twenty minutes to convince her not to press charges against Jae-Eun. And he wasn’t entirely sure she didn’t still plan on doing it. The meeting had been conducted without his accounting director and was finished, he should be going home. He wanted to be at home, but he knew the scene that would be there when he arrived.

He stared at the picture they had taken just a few weeks before, his lips pressed to her cheek, the smile that shown brightly on her face. She was so happy in that picture. That was all he wanted, for her to be happy, and he’d known for a while that he wanted to be the one to do that for her. Looking at her now, knowing she risked herself to stop Mi-Sun’s devious plans, his chest ached. But he had been so proud, his fierce, little wife coming to protect him.

He was so stupid.

Why had it been so easy for him to admit his feelings for Jae-Eun in front of Mi-Sun, when he had been fighting so hard to hid them from Jae, from himself. She, more than anybody, deserved the truth.

Scared as he was, he needed to see her, he had to explain the situation, tell her the truth. To tell her everything, from the very beginning. So he gathered his things and headed down to the parking garage.

Driver Hwang waited for him.

“Did you get the Madam home alright?”

“Yes sir. Right up to the front door.”

That was a relief. Kyungsoo was positive he would lose it if there was another L.A. incident. He hated that he had only discovered how deep his feelings for his wife were, when he was faced with losing her.

Things wouldn’t be how they were now if he hadn’t been stubborn and decided to deal with his discovery on his own. The truth of his relationship with Mi-Sun.

For so long he had felt responsible for the change she had gone through. From the sweet girl he fell in love with, to this hardened woman who lied to him, and used him. If he hadn’t left her alone in the states, she wouldn’t be this way. Whatever happened while he was gone is what had changed her, and it was his fault for leaving her alone.

But that was a lie she let him believe because it suited her plans. He didn’t know if anything she told him was true.

What he was told: Her parents were dead, she was living with a horrible uncle who wouldn’t let her come back to Korea, she had met someone else, but they broke up and she needs help getting home.

The truth: Her parents were farmers in the south, her uncle had graciously offered for her to stay with him in the states for an education, which he mostly paid for, and didn’t know of her desire to come back home. She had never broken up with that other man and had used the promise that they could be together to get Kyungsoo to bring her home and give her a position in his company. Then she brought the boyfriend over and married him.

One-week Kyungsoo thought they were going to be together, the next she was married to someone else.

Mi-Sun had played him from the very beginning. Telling the naïve rich boy exactly what he needed to hear to get what she wanted from him. And he hadn’t questioned any of that until Jae.

She made him realize he deserved better than that. Because while he took his pain and anger out on her, she remained understanding and supportive. He didn’t deserve her. He had gotten lucky because his mother and hers were best friends.

Lee Jae-Eun had set him free, and he hadn’t even bothered to tell her.

Driver Hwang opened the door for him.

“Rest well tonight, Ahjussi,” he told his old friend.

“Thank you, sir.”

Kyungsoo entered his quiet home to find Nari waiting for him.

“She’s isn’t here is she?” He asked, but he already knew the answer. His chest hurt, his lungs burned. It was like he was drowning. Damn annoying.

“No sir, the Madam came home a while ago, packed a bag and left. I believe there is a note for you in your room.” She informed him. Worry marred her eyes, as she helped him out of his jacket and straightened it out.

“I don’t know if I can bring her hack this time Nari. I should have sent that woman away a long time ago, but I didn’t, and it may have cost me the best thing in my life.”

Nari lay his jacket on the table and swathed him in a tight hug. “Oh, my sweet boy.”

Kyungsoo wrapped his arms around the woman who was like a mother to him and let the tears build up in his eyes.

“I don’t know what to do.” He barely managed to get the words out.

Nari held him at arm’s length. “Do you love her?”

He nodded.

“Then you do whatever you have to.”

Kyungsoo swallowed back the lump in his throat. The muscles ached from holding the emotions back.

“I don’t think there is anything I can do but give her space and time.” He told her. “Right now, I’m going to try to get some rest. It’s going to take a while since she’s not here.”

Nari released him, bowing as he made his way down the hall to his room. Just as she said, a note sat on his bedside table.

           I’m at Dae’s. Don’t call, I need time. -J

Kyungsoo let the tears fall.

“But I love you.” He said to the note. He’d admitted it to Mi-Sun, to Nari, and now to a damn note, just not to the woman who needed to hear it.

He would give her what she wanted. Kyungsoo had to have faith that Jae-Eun would come back to him. He could tell her the truth of what happened, give her the proof, the USB he held like his own life in his hand. And then tell her what he should have months ago. He loved her, and he was more sure of that than anything else in this world.

But before that, he had another matter to take care of. It was late, but he knew his friend would answer the phone.

So, he made the most important call of his life.

[call-2-arms]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm. 

tagged by: stolen from my other blog :)  tagging: @snowbrn​ @threads-of-destiny​ (Fenris) @thedasonfire​ (Solas) @serbrienneoftarth​ @scndor​

My muse is:   canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless / complicated 

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO. Hard to answer, and I wouldn’t say he’s UNPOPULAR, he’s just... not as popular as say... Dany or Jon are? Or even Cersei, tbh. If there were a more middle ground option, I’d definitely he’s more middle. Sometimes I feel like he’s a forgotten character despite the massive role he’s played in the series. 

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. Not only is Jaime known to be attractive and look the part of a king in the entire series, but Nikolaj is honestly just a super attractive male with a smile that could kill. I haven’t heard many people say that he’s an unattractive person, so this is definitely a yes. He might not be everyone’s cup of tea, but he’s enough of a looker that his reputation proceeds him. 

Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. Okay so... this is complicated. Because many would see Jaime as weak because of his flaws, which is fair... And then they would also say he’s weak because he doesn’t have his sword hand any longer. But overall, Jaime is a strong character throughout the series, especially as a swordsman. He is one of the best swordsmen in Westeros, and I think there are MANY people who forget that little fact about him because in the series he was softening by the end of it. I think that’s where the fandom can really misinterpret Jaime. He definitely has his flaws, but he’s still an exceptionally strong individual. 

Are they underrated?  YES / NO / IDK. I think so. I think it’s mainly because I feel like he’s misunderstood by a lot of the fandom. I’m not excusing any of his shitty behaviour, but when you’ve got heroes like Jon Snow and Dany, and even Sansa, and strong villains like Cersei, Joff and Ramsay, I think they are all the face of the series. Those characters are the main characters that people think of when they see Game of Thrones. So Jaime is seen more of a support character, even with his ties. Most people think Lannister, they think Cersei and Tyrion (because they have so much more screen/book time than Jaime does). That’s the thing about GoT though, I feel like there’s no real “main” character. I feel like no matter who it is, there’s always a little love for them in the fandom, and I love that about the fandom. But overall, yes, I would say he’s definitely the third Lannister when thinking of the siblings.

Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO. He’s kind of the entire reason why there’s a war in the first place tbh... He pushed a kid out a window and all hell broke loose :’D 

Were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG. He’s a member of one of the great Houses of Westeros. He plays a big part. 

Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO. Oh yes, greatly known, and for many reasons. Mostly he’s known for being a king slayer, though. 

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. It depends on who you ask, but throughout most of Westeros and during the series, he does not have a good reputation. Well known for his fighting skills and handsome features are about the only good reasons, everything else comes down to his relationship with his sister (sexual included) and the fact that he is a man without honour. Only by the end of the series does his reputation change, and even then, it is small. Jaime will never recover from what he has done.

How strictly do you follow canon?  — I’m fairly strict with what I go with. I stick to a strong, canon foundation because it’s a part of Jaime that is essentially who he IS as a character. It’s why I enjoy writing him, and I’m not going to take that away from him. The only divergencies are the fact that I prefer he not die in season 8 and I also write my Jaime as demisexual/romantic. 

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.  —  Jaime is complicated. There is no saying he is a simple character, he has layer upon layer, and discovering that is a joy. Or at least it is for me, lol. I, personally, think Jaime is such a UNIQUE character because he actually isn’t a liar compared to his siblings. Between the bickering, Jaime is actually exceptionally forward, but because people don’t expect any Lannister to be honest, it’s a joy seeing how he can use that to his advantage. He often says cryptic, sarcastic comments that people think are him being sly and dishonest, but he’s actually being completely blunt that it’s hard to tell if Jaime is actually telling the truth or playing a game. I think that’s just a really fun trait to explore when getting to write and interact with him. Also, who doesn’t like interacting with a sarcastic arsehole? X’D Deep down, Jaime has a lot of complicated issues, however, especially when it comes to family and how he is supposed to be seen. He says he doesn’t care, but he cares deeply, he brushes everything off like it’s nothing, but he’s crippled on the inside. Jaime is just one of those really strong on the outside but weak on the inside characters, and I love getting to explore that. 

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).  — I think the fact that Jaime has been in an incest relationship for his entire life, that would definitely push people away from really caring or interacting with him. And if that’s a trigger for someone, then I totally understand why they’d want to stay away. That’s fair. Jaime can also come off as selfish and cruel, with a bad temper. People might not have the PATIENCE for him, when that’s really what he needs. He needs someone to help guide him to be a better person, to remove himself from the toxicity of ... well, his entire life, lol. He can also, like mentioned in the last questions, be cryptic as fuck. He is handicapped, he can be emotionally unstable, has PTSD and honestly just has a LOT going on, and trying to push past that to make him grow as a person and a character could be too much for folks to deal with (I think that’s a plus, but I can understand why he might not be popular lol).

What inspired you to rp your muse?  —  Jaime has been one of my favourite characters ever since I got interested in the series. I was nervous as hell to join the GoTRP community because I’d never read the books before (and still haven’t finished them lol), but I adored his character from the start, especially when a redemption arc began to happen. Look, I’m a sucker for redemption arcs and character growth, learning about his past and his secret about why he killed the Mad King. Those things are things that draw me to characters, villain characters who try to be better, who learn, who become softer. I LOVE that growth, and that’s definitely what kept me interested in Jaime. His in depth character only made my drive for wanting to delve into his head stronger. I love complicated characters, I love grey characters, I love characters that have layers I can pick through and analyse. I have also always been highly interested in sexual mental health and health in general (and have been interested in psychology for ever since I was little lol), so he was right up my ally. 

What keeps your inspiration going?  —  Definitely rewatching the series (which I desperately need to do lol), and reading the novels (which I’m VERY slow with but absolutely love them!). What really keeps me interested is definitely my RP partners though, and keeping active within the writing community. I love getting to interact with everyone. 

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO / I SINCERELY HOPE I DO? I have severe duplicate insecurities like most people do, but I’m pretty happy with the grasp I have on Jaime’s character overall. It’s hard to write post season 8 Jaime without a book to go to and compare against the series, so I try and keep them pretty level with each other and find a happy place in the middle. I also know I most likely write Jaime a little more emotionally traumatised, but I try to keep what happened to him real, and that has repercussions. 

Do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO / SORT OF? I need to move them over to this blog, but NOT ENOUGH. I really need to rewatch and continue the book series to get my head around more headcanons. Also I just haven’t had ANY time this year for much at all when it comes to headcanons, because I am so exhausted after work  

Do you sometimes write drabbles?  YES / NO. For Jaime, unfortunately, no. I keep most of my drabbles to my Dragon Age protags. I would love to though... if I had time, lol. 

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO. Absolutely. Hyperfocus like a champ over here, lol. 

Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO / SORT OF? I think there’s always room for improvement, but I’m pretty happy with my portrayal so far. I try my hardest to keep him pretty canon, and the feedback I’ve had from my partners has always been so kind and reassuring <3

Are you confident in your writing?  YES / NO / SOMETIMES. I’ve been writing Dragon Age for so long... I feel like I don’t know a lot of the lore when it comes to GoT. I sometimes have to Wiki things I forget, names I don’t remember, and alliances and plots because I’m BAD with politics okay? I’m terrible with it all. Writing helps me learn those things, but if I’m not interested, I find it tedious to go and research (ASD/ADHD).

Are you a sensitive person?  YES / NO / SORTA. It depends. Some things I really don’t care about, others I do. It entirely depends on my mood and the day, and how the stars align lol. Or... how tired I am, haha. It really just depends. I will be more sensitive if I’m hurt from someone that means something to me, or someone I look up to. Other days I just can’t be fucked because I’m too old and tired to deal with it. 

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?  —  I’m going to have to say “no” on this. It’s purely because i’m not ASKING for criticism. If I was, then that’s fair because I’m actively SEEKING to be better. Right now, Jaime is a hobby and not a muse that I am constantly working on. He’s a tertiary muse that I’m here to just have a good time with and research when I feel the need to. Outside of that, if you don’t like my portrayal then you don’t have to interact with me and that’s fine. If you think my Jaime is too emotional, I’m working off mostly season 8 things which we have no book to look back on, so it’s mostly me basing everything off his past reactions and character development. If you have issues on the way I see his and Cersei’s relationship and it being toxic despite his love for her, that’s a whole diff convo lol. At the end of the day... I’m writing him the way he comes to me, and if you don’t enjoy it then that’s all good, just don’t get in my face about it. 

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?  —  Absolutely, they help with getting to know little things about him that I may never have thought about before. I love those kinds of character development questions. 

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?  —  I guess it depends on what type of headcanon it is. I generally try and base my headcanons off solid evidence within his character background and events within the series. If someone doesn’t agree with me, it’s literally not the end of the world and it’s not worth arguing over--we all have out different portrayals and I’m not the original writer lol. If you’re going to get cranky at me because my Jaime enjoys the company of men as well once he’s able to explore himself sexually, then I really couldn’t give a fuck. As a gay man, it helps me enjoy the character a little bit more and identify with him, and I write Jaime as demi anyway. Plus, I also don’t write it in a sense that it’s not something he doesn’t struggle with considering Westeros is not open to such things. 

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?  —  same as the above.

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?  —  I don’t actively go looking through Jaime hate tags, so I’ve never run into this? If someone follows me and hates Jaime, then I just think it’s stupid that they followed me in the first place? Obviously now that he’s on a multi, that’s a little bit more complicated, but everyone is free to not interact with him and still interact with my other characters here lol. If I follow someone and then see them actively posting hate about him, I would simply unfollow. That’s it. I’m not here to fight and argue, I’m here to have a good time, and I’m not going to force anyone to enjoy a character they don’t. 

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?  —  Mistakes happen, I don’t always look over my reply before posting, and more often then not, I’m tired as hell when I’m writing anyway so there might be errors from time to time. I can guarantee there’s probably some in this meme lol. If a little red squiggle doesn’t come up beneath the word, then I’ve probably not fixed it. In saying that, if you’re coming to me every time I make a typo... I will begin to get annoyed. It’s a small thing, get over it and move on. If you can’t, then maybe I’m not the right person to be writing with if it’s causing you that much stress. If I’ve completely butchered a sentence (which has happened!), then just give me a polite nudge and go “hey did you mean to write this instead?” and I’ll probably feel embarrassed and laugh about it and be like yeah sorry, I meant that :’D 

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?   —  When there’s not a pandemic going on in the world, I’m certainly very easy going, lol. It takes a fair bit to piss me off, and it’s got to be pretty repetitive for me to start going... mmm, there’s a pattern here and I don’t like it. But generally speaking, if you’re nice to me, I’m nice back. I don’t go looking for fights and arguments, and my nature has certainly meant people have abused me in the past. I’m often too empathetic and because I avoid trying to make a fuss and cause confrontation, I often let people do whatever. I’ve... somewhat learned from past experiences to NOT do this to myself, which I guess has made me a little bit less easy going. That and just generally getting older and not having the time to care about petty things might make me come off as a hard arse at times. But look... I’m not going to be a dickhead to anyone who doesn’t deserve it, okay? I get we’re all anxious, I get we’re all curious, I get that we all have opinions. Don’t be a dick and you don’t have anything to worry about. I can sometimes be blunt, but most people learn that that’s just me. Maybe it’s an Aussie thing, maybe it’s a me thing. Probably a combination of the two... my mother always did say I was very blunt. >.> Sometimes that’s a good thing when people want or need advice, but if it’s not what you want to hear, then don’t come asking, because I can be very honest. 

[stormyreadingsxx]

The WHO and the WHAT

Giving understanding your chart a chance:

Planetary Alignments

Taurus, Pisces.... Even knowing your sun is a Cancer and your rising in Aries is all good and well. But planets add a whole other layer over the way you may function in a sign (or a house but that’s for another post I guess). It’s easy to remember traits about zodiac signs (like fiery elements and the differences between cardinal and fixed) but do you know what sign a given planet is in? If it is in strength or at a weakness? These observations can turn a non-believer of astrology into an advocate.

My Venus is in Virgo (also my sun and moon sign and of course in fall or working against it’s placement) meaning for ME, finding someone who has the capacity to understand my love language or not take advantage of my mutable big three has been hard. I notice a trend of retreating inward without knowing it (when my emotional needs aren’t met), and others need to see and hear things to know... And there is the disconnect. 

Mercury: ☿ The Messenger ~ The clear ruler of communication (and why the retrograde is so fantastically catastrophic, but more on that later), how we take in, let out, and process information is important. Your sun, moon, & rising should be taken into account separately from this. A sun in Scorpio may mean you’re mysterious, emotional (even if you hide it), and a bit brooding but a Mercury in Leo could mean you explain and express yourself with unexpected flair. Understanding this aspect in your chart can help you be a better listener, talker, or find out what kind of people you want to interact with in the long run. 

*I used my Leo Mercury as an example. I go through introverted, critical, and anxious bouts as an overthinking earth sign, but I’ve always had a knack for telling stories and only recently have I discovered this connection. Using humor to cope is comforting to most people, I guess. lol

Venus: ♀︎ The Lover ~ I will admit to using Sailor Senshi to remember my planetary themes, but yes this one is known emphatically as The Lover. In addition to your sun, moon, and Mercury this can give you insight to how you love, your own love language, and how best someone might receive you. My Virgo Venus has doubled down on the earthy acts of service as mine. I’ve always wanted to make sure the people I love and care about are fed (finishing my food if I cannot) and their lives easier (tidying a room, folding laundry etc...). Somewhere along the way, this became easier than words. 

That’s nice and all, but my criticalness and Mercury-ruled energy (A sharp Virgo way with words that can be weaponized and unfocused Gemini-ness that at best is spacey) it’s hard for me to get through to people at times. Understanding yours (or someone else’s) Venus is their approach to romance (so how much more emotionally intelligent do you feel understanding how you communicate and how you approach love ?). 

Mars: ♂︎ The Warrior ~ If Venus is our feminine ~love~ energy, then Mars is obviously the opposite (at least in symbol). What grinds your gears? Turns thoughts and ideas into action? Mars is about expressing (our anger) and how we get what we desire. What is that cost?

Our drives and our passions.... Mine happens to be in Gemini. I love my ability to go with the flow and appeal to all sorts of people, professions, and hobbies. But this energy (even with my earthiness) is unfocused. Lots of thought and brain action (and typing at 3 am asfcgsd) but harnessing it is not always an easy thing for me. If we can be honest here, it never has. 

I can be easily bored (although I will say I’m crushing boredom in quarantine for the most part) and my mercurial ass is actually exhausted and borderline in distress when I’m bored. My mind races and it becomes anxiety. Even hyper-vigilant criticisms of myself. I’ve turned to bottles, pills, and risky behavior to avoid it! Now that I see and understand this cloying longing to feel like I belong everywhere and the way chaos manifests in my space if I’m not well, I begin to understand and fix that. 

I must find balance in the doing and the not doing but I can’t let my mind get bored. I’ve always been a fidgety person and talked with my hands (my massaged cat and friends can attest to both). And I often take on many projects and only the strong survive.... I used to not understand my Gemini rising but the more I talk, the more it make sense (since it is ruled by the Mercury communicator and the area of the hands).

Jupiter: ♃ The Sage ~ Now here’s something maybe everyone can get into. Luck. Jupiter has to do with a lot of luck in our charts, how we improve our lives and show generosity throughout it. For me, though my Jupiter comes in the same sign as my sun and moon (New Moon babies unite), its is actually at it’s detriment or not working as strongly as it could be (a trend I’m noticing with my Virgo placements lmfao).

Investigation will show that I’ve always been good at being persuasive and using warm graces to win someone over. That’s why from customer service to [REDACTED] (rhymes with.... h*x w*rk), I make a good front of house. My need to see a tangible result of progress (in video games, typing things like this out, or reorganizing all my things, creating art) can be attributed to this. For a day dreamer, I have a very grounded chart. 

Saturn: ♄ The Taskmaster ~ Saturn, Saturn, Saturn.... Known of course by the infamous return, the one denoting when different clusters of generations ‘grow up’ (and I’m pretty sure I’m about due for AND going right through mine but I deleted co__star lmao), some associate with death. The end. Saturn is associated with restriction and limitation. Boundaries. This all sounds negative, but Saturn brings with it structure and meaning. A good relationship and understanding yields great things for life!

“Saturn is often associated with our fathers or father/authority figures. In childhood, the discipline, rules, and regulations imposed on us by our authority figures–from parents, teachers, and the like–were not always pleasant, but they actually helped us to understand the world around us. Similarly, Saturn’s lessons actually help us to grow.”

Ouch.

I will try to let this speak for itself and not project TOO much of my own chart as if you care, but I’ve only recently seen so deeply into what makes up who I am astrologically. I’ve always had a bit of a struggle with boundaries. Initiating them. Holding my space and comfort over others.

I was born during a New Moon and at LEAST one retrograde. 

Saturn.

I can condemn myself for that or I can keep going, deeper and see why and how going forward I don’t fall into the same pitfalls (or maybe give myself a little compassion seeing that others have struggled my struggle). It does kind of feel like the whole world is on it’s Saturn return right now, though. 

Uranus: ⛢ The Revolutionary ~ My Uranus was also in retrograde during my birth. I do feel conflict at this time of riots, protests, and rampant and unrepentant police brutality. People who look just like me die in the streets, in police custody, somewhere in strange circumstances. Vulnerable to covid and staying to help my parents, my place isn't at protests even if it feels like my heart is. I do my part to speak my mind and perspective, donate and raise awareness. Support my allies on the lines in the ways I can. 

I cannot lie and say the present doesn’t scare me. Or being tear-gassed, detained indefinitely, thrown in jail or court, or disappeared. All of it. 

“Uranus is quite at home in the eighth house of resurrections. You are naturally open and support change. “Change is good,” is your constant motto. Re-inventing yourself from time to time sounds like a good idea to you. You couldn’t possibly have it otherwise. Life would be boring without change. Your style and pace of bringing about change though may leave others dazed and breathless. The style of change that you prefer can be destructive to those around you. Your good intentions are never at doubt though. It’s just that you are addicted to your ideas and you sometimes overlook human emotions. Your natural impatience with status quo drives you to move fast leaving the staid behind.”

Maybe I jump ahead getting to houses, but I wanted to switch it up. Though Uranus was essentially moving backwards when I was born (and that seems to not bode well), the house (which can speak to a best way to reach the potential of your placements) seems to have kept me from losing all discernment and ability to adapt. 

On the topic of revolution among other things, I feel conflicted. Helpless. Futile. I’m finding my way through that, but it is almost awe-inspiring to see a struggle mapped out in the charts while I go through it. 

Neptune: ♆ The Dreamer ~ Didn’t I say earlier I’m a bit grounded for a daydreamer? A lot of my daydreams (and borderline escapism lol) are rooted and threaded in reality (especially since covid and damn near martial law have changed everyone’s perceptions of such). I have some far out dreams, but the content in my head could be shockingly close to reality sometimes. I love playing Animal Crossing and other general life simulations and always have.

Your vision of an ideal world may center around respect for rules, order, responsibility, and morality. You need to believe in the realizability of your dreams, and this means that your fantasies usually have a very realistic thread to them. There is a conservative, possibly somewhat cynical element to your nature. Because general optimism/faith does not typically carry or motivate you, energy levels may not be high when you don’t believe in what you’re doing, and inspiration is not easy to find in the first place. However, you can turn a dream into reality more easily than most. Your vision is practical but also doable.

I really am this optimistic-pragmatic-realistic but hardworking ???? person. My Neptune was also in retrogrograde during my birth. It has not hindered my creativity but even that is met with rigid expectations and an expected method for madness. I could stand to be dreamier and I work to inspire a calming, soothing, dreamy atmosphere (essential oils, Virgo 4th house things). But this may be why I always have my brain never too far in the clouds. Not without stimuli. 

Pluto: ♇ The Transformer ~ Ah, Pluto is the Ruler of Scorpio. A deep cut in my chart but I have always had a bad habit of falling deep, deep into the well of a watery Scorpio even though I should know better. Renew and Rebirth hits my experience with them on the head. At it’s worst, these planetary placements can promote a hedonistic greediness. ‘Everyone is bad so I must be too’ and a real commitment to harming those before you can get smited (because we’ve all been smited). 

I don’t have a lot of water in my chart personally, but this can help account for my intensity in search of connections (and why unlike a lot of my peers I pull away for long periods and go all in again, almost cyclical in a place where everyone’s always booed up).

Pluto in Scorpio may try to remain positive so strongly that they find themselves in denial, finding out when it is too late about all that was happening right under their noses.

Bingo.

Being strong and able to deal comes with a certain detachedness, a wall others cannot or will not try to breach. Understanding this will help me bring some of it down, right?

Are you interested in hunting down your birth time now? Try paring some of these tidbits or do your own planet research and pair it with the rest of your chart. You might start getting answers. 

[gothsic]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

My muse is:   canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless /

Is your character popular in the fandom?  YES / NO. in his own head maybe

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. lol what fandom does jo have a fandom here???

Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. ???

Are they underrated?  YES / NO. / IDK. jo thinks he’s underrated does that count??

Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO.

Were they relevant for the main character?  YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG.

Are they widely known in their world?  YES / NO.

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL.

How strictly do you follow canon?  — Jo is the master of his own story so yeah. I’m following my own canon and whatever I come up with to a T ( unless some good suggestions in writer’s workshops or even here come up! ). He is the main character of my limited series pilot that I hope to write soon called The Insomnia Trap.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.  —  Jonathan has many sides to him. The child of mixed Latinx parents and the youngest of three kids, he has had a relatively normal life ( save for early childhood, when he killed his mother by “accident” - should’ve mentioned that! ) and his very long goth phase in middle/high school, but always deemed himself to be on the outskirts of society. Because he was aware from a young age that he was simultaneously unwanted and unplanned, Jonathan came out of his upbringing with the idea that he never should have existed. This planted in him a very nihilistic, misandrist, and generally flippant view of the world despite pursuing his dream to work in comics and cartoons. Though he was hungry for recognition and dreamed of a world not on Earth, he often found himself to be a ghost wandering the streets of town, looking in on the people having fun in their homes without understanding why they were happy. His insomnia developed when he in his teens, though he still had trouble sleeping as a child after seeing his mother’s mangled corpse at the bottom of the stairs - his doing, of course. Whether he lives with the guilt or not is up to you to decide; it’s my personal feeling that there is a part of him, the human part of him, that feels horrible about what he did. He feels monstrous for it, in fact. This is part of the reason why, if he gets extremely close to someone, he warns them that he’s not a good person; the shred of good left in him. But he also feels his “metamorphosis” into the nihilist that he is today was inevitable, given that he was never supposed to exist in the first place. It should be mentioned, of course, that this nasty cocktail of things has not only stressed his insomnia, but he eventually was pushed into going to a sleep clinic to get to the bottom of his problems once and for all. He only encountered an extremely traumatic lucid dream that forced him to confront his past head-on. He was unable to save his rotting humanity ( D., a small girl that looked like his character Deirdre ), and was eaten alive by The Other, a creature that looked like a younger version of himself and eventually absorbed him into itself. He awoke, now in what can only be described as a constant lucid dream in waking life. He encounters monsters and hallucinations from his dreamspace frequently, and will sometimes see D.’s forest crop up in his backyard. To this day, he still believes D. is alive and well - and, of course, that the object of his obsession, the one person who ever understood him in his point of view, Annie Kaye, is going to one day return to him as he’s always dreamed. Sadly, she could want nothing less to do with his sorry ass.

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).  —   Around the time that The Insomnia Trap was simply going to be a screenplay, I workshopped it every few weeks in my senior Screenwriting class in undergraduate school. The overwhelming response I got was that Jonathan was abhorrent, creepy, and the question a lot of people had was why we were following him versus Adri, his ex girlfriend who was documenting his struggles with insomnia. My only answer to this is that is the point - you aren’t supposed to necessarily like him, I instead invite you to understand why he does the things he does. I’m asking you to do something you don’t like, something that makes you uncomfortable, maybe. I don’t believe entertainment in any capacity should be forced to be all about how “great” a person someone is. He’s a horrible person you can observe at a safe distance, and pick apart - a real puzzle who has his nasty qualities and his strangely good qualities mixed into one. I’m not asking you to forgive him, either. I’m asking you to see him for what he is and judge him for yourself. Jonathan is a gigantic mess of things - he’s deeply traumatized, but has chosen to live a life where he’s given in to his narcissism and self-importance, and he’s deeply hurt many people in his life - the most obvious being Annie, whom he feels he “deserves” after suffering so much in his life ( sure... ). He is in many ways a deeply unlikable character, and I wrote him keeping this in mind. That said, he has his better qualities, though they’re few and far between, that I think can keep him human in the eyes of the audience ( his love of animals, guilt towards his mother’s death, his intense self hatred, his genuine love for his nieces and nephews and for children in general, etc. ). Since he’s the protagonist of The Insomnia Trap, I can only hope that he is a complex and interesting enough character to follow for audiences if/when the limited series gets picked up!

What inspired you to rp your muse?  — Jonathan is based off of a very long personal experience I had, and I’ve always been fascinated by intense psychological horror. The two things came together, at first, when I was 12 and simply evolved from there. Originally, the project was going to be an animated flash movie that was divided into parts - but that of course never happened, I was too young and too impatient to ever do that. Over time, I ended up focusing Jonathan’s character, and he first appeared in high school - sophomore year, actually, in a different context. He’s been in development for a very long time, in other words, and I grew fascinated with a variety of different concepts over the years that got incorporated into his story ( doppelgangers, lucid dreaming, revenge, obsession, tragic protagonists, etc. )! He is one of the most intimate characters I’ve ever created, and I love him to death.

What keeps your inspiration going?  —  Music is a big one, there are specific songs I want to get the rights to use in the project if it ever gets made, and that really helps keep me focused on this blog and develop Jonathan further. Also, threading with my fellow muns and seeing how Jo evolves over time. What’s he capable of? Can he change? Is he capable of change, or is he afraid of it? These are questions that are asked with each character he interacts with, and I sincerely live for it. Also, drawing helps me out a lot too - maybe you’ll see The Insomnia Trap in webcomic form soon... just a thought!

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO / no idea honestly lmao

Do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO / depends!

Do you sometimes write drabbles?  YES - I also draw them! / NO, I HATE DRABBLES.

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES! / NO.

Are you confident in your portrayal?   YES / NO / sorta

Are you confident in your writing?  YES / HAHA NO.

Are you a sensitive person?  YES / NO. / though i can handle critique, film school definitely hardens you to that!

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?  —  I do. I’ve been explicitly told Jonathan is disgusting and totally unlikable by people to my face, and I have made leaps and strides to prevent my portrayal from going completely in the “this person is deplorable” category that was tempting to head towards. It’s easy to explore someone’s bad side rather than explore their good side, which I can forget about with him. That said, critique really does help me develop my writing further, and I desperately need it even if it can be hard to hear sometimes!

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?  —  I love questions. If people ask me questions, I do my best to answer no matter what they may be. They can be challenging sometimes, but that’s what makes it so fun!

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?  —  Sure, I’m happy to hear what people have to say. I may not agree with it, but hearing different perspectives is so important in my point of view.

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?  —  As well as I could. It can be frustrating, but everyone’s tastes are different, so I don’t really take it personally and move on. I’m really here to do what I want to do in the end, as the rest of us are, so I try to prioritize that over any negative feelings I might have.

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?  —  Again, I just let it be. I’m used to people not really understanding Jonathan or not caring for him while understanding him, and that’s fine! Everyone has their preferences for what they like in leading characters or just characters in general. He is a triggering character with very triggering themes, and I’m writing him from a very prolonged experience I had ( and it’s very cathartic ) so I can understand why people may not want to engage with him or with me. I’m perfectly fine with it and invite people to put themselves first, and I move on like I mentioned in the above question.

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?  —  Yes! Please go for it. I literally do not proof my replies before I post them half the time so feel free to let me know if I misuse words or put commas/colons/semicolons or whatever out of place.

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?   — I think so! I try to be open and inviting to everyone I speak to here, and always encourage people to come talk to me if they’d like to. No pressure though! Roleplay is for fun, and it shouldn’t be anxiety inducing or any kind of work - do things at your own pace here, that’s what I say ( though I’m trying to follow my own advice! ).

That’s about it, congrats for filling out!

Tagged by:  @forseenclade !!. thank you flower... luv Tagging: whomstever wants to !! feel free to tag me so i can see !!

[theoxofthezodiac]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

My muse is:   canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless /

Is your character popular in the fandom?  YES / NO.

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK.

Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK.

Are they underrated?  YES / NO.

Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO.

Were they relevant for the main character?  YES / NO / THEY’RE A PROTAG.

Are they widely known in their world?  YES / NO?

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL.

How strictly do you follow canon?  — Generally I like/try to stick as closely to canon as possible, but I also LOVE AUs and looking into stuff that happens after the canon and before the canon!!

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.  —  Aaahh fuck um listen: I trust myself to do two things exceptionally well—shitposting and feeling feelings. That in mind, I’d like to say I’m also very good at writing top-tier, big brain crack threads and “oh fuck that shit hurted” angst. Also, Haru is the best of both worlds: he can give you himbo AND soft boy. He’s a big brother who’s split a watermelon. Are you a pussy who can’t handle haunted houses (like myself) he’s the muse for you, turning irrational fear into a tear-jerking cathartic experience. Pls interact.

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).  —  I’m gonna level with you: I’ve got a bit too much of a soft spot for soft boy Haru, and thus my skills at writing Dark Haru are not the best developed. Also I can be quite slow with replies oop.

What inspired you to rp your muse?  —  Furuba means so much to me. Like a lot of people I found it around age like 14ish and it’s stayed with me ever sense. It’s my favorite book series and I believe the strongest argument for graphic novels/manga having literary merit. It has the best character development I’ve ever read. It’s so cathartic and I related so deeply to many of the characters.

What keeps your inspiration going?  —  A lot of my inspiration comes from watching the anime and rereading the manga, also reading other people’s threads and seeing memes. I go through periods of focusing on my various hyperfixations and I hyperfixate on them...and sometimes that’s Furuba.

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO.

Do you frequently write headcanons? YES / NO.

Do you sometimes write drabbles?  YES / NO.

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day?  YES / NO.

Are you confident in your portrayal?   YES / NO.

Are you confident in your writing?  YES / NO.

Are you a sensitive person?  YES / 50/50 / NO.

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?  — Of course!! As long as it’s like actual criticism and not just an anon saying “fuck u, u suck” 

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?  — YES

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?  — Yes!! A lot of my headcanons come from my personal experiences and my personal interpretation of Furuba. Like any other book/series everyone interprets it different and I love hearing other interpretations, even if we choose different hills to die on.

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?  —  It makes me kinda sad, but tbh if someone doesn’t like it they don’t have to follow me and we can just kindly ignore each other lmao.

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?  —  My portrayal? Ight whatever. The character itself? I’d like to know why. Like, Haru isn’t one of them, but I know there are problematic characters but that doesn’t mean you can’t like them as a character. Idk I understand hating characters but I’d only love to hear (valid) reasons why. Tangential but I am EXHAUSTED by all the Kagura hate and “discourse.”

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?  —  PLEASE DO HOLY SHIT!!! Sometimes I notice them after I see the thread and I want to shove my entire laptop down my throat but if I do I always try to go back and fix them before anyone notices (oops) but if you notice it and I don’t pls tell me.

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?   —  I really try to be as non-intimidating as possible because I’m actually intimidated by everyone else lmao. Like I know my rules may come across a bit cold/blunt but I myself try not to be.

That’s about it, congrats for filling out!

Tagged by: @jezebelsmultimuse​  thank you!!

Tagging: anyone who wants to/sees this!!!

[vivipixels-notepad]

Hypnovember 2019, fic 1

SFW

No content warning, just some wholesome, fluffy stuff!

Prompt: “Watch”

Slow days are rare at Dizzy’s Delightful Designs, but they still happen. The store’s owner, one Morgan Lafayette, stands behind the counter, idly flipping through a fashion magazine, hoping for some inspiration. They let out a deep sigh, and cast the magazine aside, only to grab another from the large pile behind them.

“Um, excuse me? Mx. Lafayette?”

Dizzy sighs again, not looking up from the magazine.

“It’s Dizzy while I’m here, sugar. That name’s only for business.”

“What about for a friend?”

Finally, they look up. A woman stands there with short, black hair, fair skin, and brown eyes. She’s not outstandingly tall or heavy set. Most would say she’s perfectly average. Her appearance catches Dizzy off guard, and sparks a memory in their’s head.

“Janey! You didn’t tell me you were coming back!”

Dizzy leaps from their seat, running around the counter. Jane receives them in a hug, and the friends share in a laugh.

“Sorry I didn’t tell you, Dizzy. I wanted to keep it a surprise, so I could see how far you’ve come without you overdoing it.”

“Well, look at me now! I own two stores here, this little boutique and the café next door, and I’m doing just fine! But besides me, what brings you back to town?”

Jane blushes, and looks away.

“Actually. You were. I’d kinda.. heard what you do for people. I don’t really understand what it is exactly, but I want to know. We’ve always been this.. dichotomy, you know? But I don’t want to be the normal, repressed one anymore.”

Dizzy nods empathetically. “Yes yes, I get this all the time. Ready to break out of your shell, kick down the closet door, show the world who you really are! Come with me, I’m going to teach you what I do.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It’s true to say, Jane Everly had always been quite plain. Normal. Average. Being told this for so long has an effect on someone. So she sought out her old best friend, the changeling she had known for so long, for help. It’s true that they could change their appearance at will, even down to individual follicles of hair. But Morgan, or Dizzy, had always kept a sort of theme. Usually choosing to appear as some variation of male, with cocoa brown skin, and hair and eye color that changed with the breeze. Jane had known Dizzy since she was little, and the two were thick as thieves, until Jane left for college. But now, a drop out, she was back to find out what she really wanted from life. Dizzy leads her into a back room, containing a lamp and a comfortable looking couch facing an equally comfortable looking chair. Dizzy gestures to the couch, before taking their seat. Jane stares at her feet. Her heart is pounding as she sits on the couch.

“Janey dear. Your shoes ain’t that interesting.”

She blushes, and looks back up.

“I’m sorry, I’m just-“

“Nervous? It’s normal. Just, take a deep breath. You wanted to know what I do?”

Jane nods furiously as she draws in a deep breath.

“Well, after you left town, I discovered.. I have a knack for hypnosis.”

There’s a pause.

“You should let that breath out, honey, you’re turning blue.”

Jane sputters, “H-hypnosis? Really?”

Dizzy frowns. “You scared of it?”

“N-no I just never.. um. Never thought it worked.”

Dizzy smiles again, leaning forward.

“Not only does it work, but get this. I found a way to combine it with thread. You know how they say, ‘The clothes make the man’? That’s what I do. All those outfits out there feed suggestions to the person wearing them, to help them express what they want, but are too scared to say. You’re holding your breath again, hun.”

Jane lets out a gasp. “Sorry! I just.. it’s just.. so... interesting. I want to know more, I want to know what it feels like.”

“Well, here.” Dizzy pulls out a simple, silver pocket watch, “With this, I can show you. We won’t go trying on outfits just yet, but I’m gonna show you what it feels like to be entranced. Is that what you want?”

Jane gulps. “Yes. That feels good to say. Yes I want to be hypnotized!”

Dizzy’s grin spreads wide, “Alright then. Just relax, take a deep breath, and focus on the watch as it sways.”

Edit: here’s a little bonus content for you!

It was hard to think about anything but the watch. Jane’s eyes followed it as it went left, right, left, right, left...

“That’s it, keep relaxing deeper.” Dizzy’s voice was sweet like candy. She could get lost in it.. fall deeply into it. Her eyelids were heavy, she was barely keeping them open.

“Deeper and deeper... just relaxing... I’m going to count down from ten, to zero. When I get to one, you’ll go even deeper, and you’ll close your eyes.” Jane was only just barely aware of herself nodding.

“Alright. Here we go.

Ten.

Nine.

Eight.

Seven.

Six.

Five, half way there.

Four.

Three.

Two.

One.

Zero.”

Dizzy snapped, just for effect. Jane plummeted, dropping deeply into trance.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“...nine, and ten!” Dizzy’s voice carried Jane to awareness. She moaned, and stirred. Her memory was foggy.

“Did... did you do it yet?”

Dizzy laughed.

“Did I? You were a natural. What do you remember?”

Jane closed her eyes, and thought hard.

“All.. I remember is you swinging a watch in front of me. It was... really pleasant to watch.”

“Well, that’s all that really happened. No tricks, no lies. I brought you under, asked you how you felt, gauged your general thoughts on everything and what you were looking for, then woke you up.”

“Did... I answer?”

Dizzy leaned in close.

“Of course you did, you subby cutie.”

Jane blushed, and huffed.

“Now, why don’t we go shopping for an outfit to compliment that, eh?”

[caroline18mars]

A Man On Fire - Chapter 36

“Nooooo, I don't want to get out in the cold anymore, let's stay here forever” she whined as Jared got up and held open her coat for her, “ok, stay here where it's busy and crowded, or sacrifice half an hour and walk ourselves warm to end up in our cosy, warm room with comfortable couches and a ridiculously warm and soft bed?”. Harper rolled her eyes “You don't play fair” she sighed, “all is fair in love and war” he grinned and grabbed her hand as he guided her out of the coffeeshop where the icecold and windy street greeted them. “So, going home..that's quite a big deal, are you absolutely sure you want to do this?” he put his arm around her shoulder and held her tight to his side walking down the street, “yep..it's not that I want to, but I need to know..I need to know why they hate me so much..why they always treated me differently than my siblings” she sighed deeply, her warm breath mixing with the cold air formed a foggy cloud “it's not gonna be your average 'meet the parents' moment, I can tell you that much”. The despair in her voice was almost unbearable “I think it's real brave what you're doing” he squeezed her shoulder “so any tips on what aristocratic families do these days? Maybe I should get into golfing or cricket or something? I want to blend in because I don't think your parents will be expecting some long haired musician/actor as their son-in-law”. Her hiccuping burst of laughter wrapped a warm blanket around his heart “son-in-law? Uhm no, my parents certainly won't be expecting that, ohh wait, maybe we should tell them we're married, they'll go ballistic!” she kept on giggling. “And you? What do you think about marriage?” he blurted out, he needed to know, Harper stopped in her tracks all serious of a sudden “Marriage? Nothing but heartache and misery, I swore to myself a long time ago that I'll never be nobody's wife, I've never felt the need to be ayone's possession which is basically the definition of marriage, isn't it?”. 

Jared didn't know whether to hug her or be dissappointed, he'd never given marriage any thought but hearing her say the word, triggered something hidden deep inside of him, what would it be like to grow old with her? it definitely wouldn't be boring, on the contrary, it would be adventurous and very rock 'n roll, he could actually see his unborn children in her eyes, really beautiful kids if they looked like their mama. “Yeah, I guess it is..do you make any distinction though between marital possession and sexual possession?” he pulled her against his body with a very dirty grin, “now you're talking! I'll always submit to such an exquisitely skilled lover of your caliber, although I think you're holding back where I'm concerned, I think there's so much further you want to go where sex is concerned, don't you? Let's say that I'm convinced you're into something a whole lot more kinky than just spanking my ass” she wiggled her eyebrows. Why not push all my fuckin' buttons at once, you little minx? Dingdingdingding! “oh really? You're convinced, huh? Well, that's for me to know and for you to find out, so if I were you, I would get that sexy ass to our bedroom RIGHT NOW!” those last shouted words made her giggle “ohhhh goodieeee” she clapped her hands in delight, wasn't she just amazing? A girl that was so excited and looked forward so much to getting thrown and pushed around a room and a bed was an absolute keeper, his heart beat so hard in his throat and his groin ached behind the zipper of his trousers seeing her giggle and skip away from him, he quickly caught up with her breaking down in a fit of laughter when he saw her lose her balance on another strip of ice.

'Bang' went their erotic bubble the minute they set foot inside the hotel, “there you are! We've got a million interviews lined up, you should be glad someone around here remembers the PR” Shannon came stomping over to them. Harper hung her chin against her chest, she just couldn't get a break around here, could she? All she wanted was to get some much needed lovin' from her man, who had kept his distance last night too, bleeegghhhhhh, what did a girl have to do round here to get fucked senseless??. “Sorry, I have..” he scrunched up his nose, feeling absolutely guilty as he cupped her face, “it's ok..you have a job to do, I understand” she tried not to pout, “I'd love it if you came along” he tried to twist her arm. “You kiddin? Get out into that cold again? nope, na-ah, no sir, no way” she shook her head trying to keep it light and funny between them, “alright, why don't you go warm up the bed then, be back late afternoon, we'll have some time together before the show” he whispered. “I don't want to be a wet blanket, but..” Shannon moved closer trying to get their attention, Harper took a step back and mouthed a silent 'go, it's ok', “alright, alright, ok, lead the way Mr. PR-man” he growled at his brother as he reluctantly turned on his heels and followed Shannon out with a sigh, signing to her to keep in touch during his absence. Ok..what to do? More coffee? Ugh no, her blood pressure was through the roof more than enough already, go to a museum? Nope..out of the question she went out into that cold again, then what? Read a book! Yessss, perfect idea, she hadn't read ever since she got to Europe, Jared and her job here had absorbed most of her free time, curl up under the covers and get lost into another world, she asked her key and almost ran to the elevator.

Oh those dreadful interviews with their copy/paste questions, he hated how he had always thrown up a wall around his personal life in the past, because right now he wanted nothing more than just talk about her, then he wouldn't miss her as much, hold it, hold it, hold it, take a step back, you are not turning into one of those ugly codependent couples you hate so much! You are so not! Fuck it, yes I am, ok ignore and focus back on the question and the interviewer, hope it's better than those ugly glasses she's wearing. 'Beep', no, focus on the question, before they think you're an absolute asshole, oh sod it they already think that anyway, he dug his phone out of his pocket and kicked Shannon's leg to answer the next question, he had a mail to read and that was far more important right now.

From: HCDeRobiano

To: BJLCubbins

Subject: shock!

Jaylicious,

' A leg went over and she positioned herself, ligned up his dick with her entrance and slowly, ever so slowly she pushed down and impaled herself with a loud, blissful moan'

Uhm, what the fuck is this? So, I went online to get inspired for my next painting and I bumped on some real cool stuff on this site called 'Tumblr' and what do you know? I get these suggestions to also check some extra cool dude called Jared Leto, curious as I am, I check and..well, well, these girls are writing the hottest stuff with you in a very kinky main role. Are they ex- or current groupies of yours? Because they all seem to write from reality..and there's so many out there, I'm flooded by an exuberant amount of smut. Oh and then there was all these threads about what a jerk you are in bed too, they're calling you all sorts of horrible names..what is that all about? that sounded a whole lot more real from real groupies.

My eyes hurt from reading way too much stuff about you, why did I ever decide to get online?

Confused Coco

From: BJLCubbins

To: HCDeRobiano

Subject: Re: shock!

Babe,

Get offline, now! So you went 'there' huh? How do you think I feel reading all those stories about myself and their fantasies about my sex life..they make me look like some kind of pornstar in those fics, but they're 'just' fans ('just' is an ugly word, but they're my meal ticket, you know what I mean) I swear I've never touched or met any of them in real life, they're just stories, those stories on Tumblr come from the imagination of some very dirty minds :). That other stuff you're mentioning is a site full of slander I tried to shut down, but no matter how hard I try, those trolls just keep on popping up and haunting me, don't believe what's being said, please! Yes some of those things happened a long, long time ago, but never the way what they're saying, it's difficult to explain..

All you have to know is that I love you veryveryveryvery much, ok? You're the only one that matters!

Don't go running off again, just wait for me and we'll talk, all through the night if that is what it takes to believe me!

Your 'Jaylicious' (I like it, you're so original, where do you come up with these nicknames?)

WHAT??? slander?? but it actually happened? Of course it happened, what did he think she was? Retarded? Did he ever see that interview with Howard Stern she had just seen for the first time, where some sleazy pornstar talked about Jared's 'monster' that obviously had given her as much pleasure as it gave her? Of course he had, and he expected her to get offline the minute she found more info about his past in half an hour than she had gotten out of him in weeks? Put the phone down, just put it down and grab your book, relax, of course he had a past, she had one too, and she knew that he was no choirboy, that much had been obvious during each sexmarathon they had so far, but then why did she feel a little dirty right now? Don't be a hypocrite, come on, ok book, where was I? She browsed for a few seconds but then threw the book back on the nightstand, ok not able to focus, fine, TV then, she flicked through the channels like a maniac, ooohh some more 'Catfish' reruns then. 'Beep' the screen of her phone lit up, and she quickly grabbed it thinking it was Jared, 'Happy now? You destroyed everything, after everything I did for you, is this how you repay me? I'll never forgive you for this, I'm on my way to New York right now and I swear I'll have you and all your godawful paintings evicted in no time, so you won't have a 'home' to come back to'. Harper sat up in shock gasping for air, Sean..oh god no, her fingers trembled as she pressed down on his name and held the phone to her ear, pick up..voicemail, fuck! Text him back 'Sean, no I'm not happy, how can I be happy when the person I thought was my best friend tried to kill me, just because he feels rejected!? Have me evicted, fine by me, but don't touch my paintings, please, I'll beg if needs be, but please don't destroy them, they mean more to me than anything or anyone in this world, please Sean?' there, sent, with an aching heart and close to tears, for fuck's sakes Jay, will you just come back? I need you here, I need someone to hold me and tell me that everything is going to be alright. A tear found its' way down her cheek, followed by a whole lot more and she didn't even try and stop them, her heart nearly burst in her chest, she just wanted to be happy, just to lead a simple, uncomplicated life devoted to painting and creating, but that wasn't gonna happen soon, was it? Oh Jay, please, I need you so much right now..call him? No, he was working and she wasn't ready yet to show him just how silly she was being  at times, he'll be here, just let out all those stupid tears right now so he can hold you later without having to see what a mess she really was, no, no, her sadness was her own and nobody else’s business.