#to those who cares

[cellophaine]

Hello. I wanted to come on here to rant (airing my grievance, if you will) and give you an update on my projects (if you're here for the update, scroll way down until you see a partition).

I'm still alive, unfortunately, but I haven't been online much since I've been co-existing with my deteriorating mental health. I have come to the acceptance that the prolonged sadness I get year-round is not just sadness anymore. Besides, work has been more demanding, I've been working more days with longer hours last week, and I couldn't find time to write and edit LA's new chapter. Which brings me to this point: I haven't been too thrilled about updating LA because of my expectations.

It always goes like this: I'm excited to see the engagement on the update, but the chapter gets none, and I get disappointed, then I get no motivation to continue the story, but I still keep it going out of sheer stubbornness to see my story till the end, and at the end, I'm unhappy about everything. The last chapter is sitting at 58 notes with no comment, which is better than 51 notes prior to the delete and changes.

I get why Lingered Affection doesn't get much attention anymore. I don't update it often enough, the storyline is not compelling enough. I have no one to blame but myself. At this point, I'm just wasting my own time investing in a story that no one cares but me. But who knows? Maybe the next chapter will get more than 58 notes because it has smut in it.

That brings me to my next point: to this day, I still get likes on one particular smut piece that I wrote 10 months ago. I literally get almost one like every day ever since I posted that. Like, not note, because I can count the amount of reblog on one finger ever since I noticed the "trend" in my notification a month ago. This makes me really question if it's worth it to branch out, to continue other stories when it's obvious that no one cares about those.

All I get in my ask box are requests, even though I said I'm not accepting requests. While I'm flattered that you like my writing enough to send in something, I'm also tired and burned out from just writing requests. I got no appreciation, not even a thank you, even though I wrote your ideas for you for free. All I get is notes upon notes saying someone liked your post enough to maybe save it but not enough to say something about it.

There is one good thing that came out of this situation. I'm desensitized to the fact that no one cares anymore unless I work on their requests, whether I'm alive or dead, whether the fic I write is interesting or good unless it has smut in it. I'm not online much, I don't get validation and that's okay. I'm just going to write whatever I want, for whoever I want.

Onto the update:

I have an IRL project that will take up a lot of my time during August and the beginning of September. I'm also going back to my home country for the first time in nearly 5 years for over two weeks, at the end of September to the middle of October! I'm super excited to see my family and friends, and eat a shit ton of traditional food that I've missed so much! Overall, I might not have much time to So, here are my plans:

Chapter 15 of Lingered Affection will be up sometime in August, after that, I'm aiming for a monthly update.

I'm debuting a new series this fall with a new character: Mo from The Flatshare! It will be grumpy x sunshine, a slow romance with angst and feels and fluff! I have a really solid foundation for the story and I can't wait to share it with you!

Matt Notting Hill AU will be out sometime later this year!

If you're still reading, thank you for reading my rant and even if you didn't read it, I hope the update was sufficient and gave you an idea of what to expect from my shit hole of a blog 🫡

On the bright side: I'M SEEING CHARLIE THIS MONTH WOOP WOOP CAN'T WAIT TO MEET HIM IN PERSON!!

[malinaa]

if i think about the hunger games in peeta's perspective i WILL start sobbing

[ro-bee]

More doodles of this show because is so cute 😭😭😭 it fills me with joy

[tam--lin]

In light of increasing anti-trans and anti-abortion laws in the United States, I am once again humbly requesting you inform yourself about jury nullification, your ability as a juror to vote against convicting people being prosecuted under unjust laws. Nullification was instrumental in legalizing abortion in Canada - it informed jurors can use it to help protect healthcare workers and protesters in the US, too.

[uncharted-constellations]

~What i couldve been~

I was just gonna do the adult timeline zelda but im so enchanted by the idea of these two versions of the same character. People always talk about how link would be changed but never zelda.

[radiance1]

Danny has been reincarnated.

Which was an odd thing to realize, it wasn't even a slow one he just... snapped into it one day. One moment he was staring at a wall out of boredom the next, well, he was staring for an entirely different reason.

It was a task for his now young -he thinks around three years old?- mind to work its way through the memories, but it wasn't like he had much else to do honestly. So, what does he know?

His name is Danny, like, his actual name and not just a moniker. He was once a halfa and he already knows he's going to be missing invisibility and intangibility. He, well, died. For like, a second time which actually makes sense because reincarnation-

Anyways.

He was a clone of two people from this thing called the Justice League which, weird name but probably some government or activist group. Wonder Woman and Superman. Which were pretty weird names to name your kids but eh.

He doesn't really remember much besides that from this life, or the one from before but he's an adult! He'll figure things out once he gets out of this containment tube thing.

Did he mention he was in a test tube? He's a tube baby now. He thinks? Or maybe it's more like he's being contained.

Whatever.

So he breaks out. Thank you apparent superstrength that he has no idea why he has but he's not going to complain! He then wandered around all of the other test tubes, able to remember just enough of English to see that yea, they're dead.

He probably was too, before he had memories zapped into him. Or a vegetable.

He then finds this really big container, checks it out, then opens it because the clone inside isn't dead!

'Project Match' it said. He'll just call him Match.

Was he thanked for helping him? Nope. You would think that he would be thanked or at least somewhat respected for saving this guy but nope!

He was, quite literally, held up by his leg and dangled in the air. Who dangles a three-year-old?! Well, he was technically and adult but still! The next few things were a blur but after pulling off the old Fenton charm he found him and Match outside as he tried to stop him from attacking random people.

Luckily the charms and privilege of the youngest (he's assuming he's the youngest, because he's physically three) was more than enough to get through to him. Sure, the guy couldn't form words, really aggressive for literally no reason, really weird but also absolutely cool looking eyes. But he worked around the first issue by developing their own personal language from like grunts and stuff, the second he once again used his youngest privilege to boss him around and the third a pair of sunglasses easily fixed.

He just had to steer Match clear of those random S crest mark thingies. Which was a weird thing to hate but hey, he's not there to judge.

[yardsards]

"i don't ship laios and marcille-" oh yeah same, their relationship is so much more compelling to me viewed through a platonic lens than a romantic one

"-like, marcille clearly hates laios" are we reading/watching the same series??? did you just stop after the first couple chapters??? look at their relationship development, that's her friend! her bestie, even!!!

[spitedemon]

i really don’t think it’s “typical dragon age fandom nonsense” for people to be genuinely upset about the world state choices. combat, level design, art direction, gameplay gimmicks, those have all varied across each dragon age game. the one thing that’s remained constant are nods to our previous choices.

i wasn’t expecting my HoF to come riding in on a griffon, but i can’t find a monument dedicated to warden tabris somewhere around the anderfels? lucanis couldn’t have some lines about the time that one arainai boy was stirring up trouble in antiva city? you’re gonna tell me that making a mage the new divine wouldn’t have some impact on nevarra and antiva? on the anderfels, the supposed most devout militant andrastian nation in thedas? you’re saying nobody in the north is paying attention to who rules orlais or ferelden? come on.

[teaitis]

Secret keeper

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

I'm not going back to Gusu with you.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[rendevok]

“Take my hand” pages 16-18

1 -> 3 - day 4 - swap

[z13lovebot]

A bunch of Sebastians since my last post. For you 🤲

[umayashla]

posting my fave two kon drawings in this blog too

[greelin]

equipping these not for strategic reasons. but gay ones

[0m3n-0f-d3ath]

Sock eye salmon

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

[ping-ski]

i know the pain is nauseating. i know you are disappointed. i know you feel betrayed. i know it feels hopeless and bleak. i know you're tired.

please don't disappear.

please be kind.

please continue to take care of yourself.

please keep living day by day.

please live. out of spite. out of hope for a better tomorrow.

if you are POC, queer, femme, trans, disabled, you are loved. you are wanted. i may not know you, but i love you with my whole person. there is still good in this world, this isn't the end.