#to the point where I think the tradeoff would be mostly worth it

[doedipus]

I was dooming pretty hard on the strive patch when the gameplay footage got released and it showed gio losing a knockdown off her main short combo ender, but now that the patch notes are actually out I think the impact that has will be somewhere between mildly annoying to completely immaterial

like one of the main changes is that fast roman cancels no longer affect tension pulse, which means that if you have a good combo extension ready, you can probably route into a hard knockdown while regaining most of the spent tension anyway. meanwhile two of the three wild assault variations also work as combo extensions. as long as she has one bar of either resource on hand she should be able to compensate pretty easily

[compusever]

Hi there! Bit of a weird question, and I’m not sure if this is the right blog for this, but… best laptop for privacy? I’m going to go to uni in a year and my parents have said that they’re going to buy me a laptop, which is awesome, except— I don’t know which one to chose? I’ve never had a laptop before but I try to take being private online as seriously as I can, and so I don’t really care… well, like, I do care that the laptop has good storage and works and stuff, but I care mostly about how private it is. Which one supports adding privacy-related stuff the best? Which one steals your data the least? I… am actually not sure what kind of questions I should be asking, since… again, never had a laptop before, and I don’t know what about its make makes it private (other than like general online privacy practices across all devices), so I was just wondering if you had any recommendations for me? Tldr: don’t care about fancy features, just want a laptop that more or less works, but would love privacy to be the main focus. This can sort of come at the expense of convenience - I don’t care it if’s harder to set up, use, etc., so long as I can connect to the internet with it.

So the hardware is pretty agnostic on this, the place where privacy is going to become an issue is in the software.

Windows loves to track you and send your data back to homebase; Apple is a walled garden that doesn't let people get deep into configurations; linux is intimidating for a lot of people.

Your actual best bet on privacy would be to get a laptop with no OS and install a linux distro on it, but it sounds like that's probably not something that's terribly approachable for you. So in that case I'd recommend getting a Windows laptop (mac prices aren't worth it) and going through this list to change the settings to ensure better privacy.

HOWEVER please note that you should be getting a laptop with a full OS. Windows has an option for "windows 11s" or "windows 10s" and first off you should be going with 11 at this point but second that "s" means that there are pretty strict limitations on what you can do as a user in terms of configuration and installation.

If you are willing to pay a bit more for Windows 11 Pro instead of windows 11 Home, the pro license cuts off some of the more annoying tracking that Windows does automatically, but I'd say you're better off simply getting the home license and really digging into the settings and getting to know it and setting it up for yourself.

BUT if it's at all possible, honestly I'd say get a bare metal laptop (that means it's just the hardware, no software, you need to install an operating system before you do anything) and install linux. HOWEVER keep in mind that there are some significant downsides to using linux as a student, mostly that you'll likely run into software at some point that you won't be able to install. Also if you're not already pretty good with computers it can be difficult to keep a linux machine running (but very easy to make it private; that's the tradeoff - you can make it more secure more easily, but you really have to know how to fix your own computer if something goes wrong.)

For your situation, again, I think a Windows 11 Home laptop with the settings adjusted is your best bet.

Absolutely positively don't get a chromebook (you've got no control of the settings on a chromebook and the thing is made to feed information to google) and don't get a mac (you can get better specs on a PC at a lower cost).

For an idea of budget on this, I'd say you can probably get something from Dell, Lenovo, or HP for around $650-1000 dollars that's got decent specs (12th gen or newer i5 processor, 16gb RAM, 512GB SSD) and maybe something more like $500-800 from acer, asus, or samsung. Whatever computer you end up getting, you should get the added drop protection warranty because that means the manufacturer will fix your laptop if you drop it, something that is a bigger deal for college students than most people (because of your environment you're more likely to end up with drop damage than a lot of people AND because you're a college student you probably won't be able to afford to fix or replace the computer)

Good luck!

[smilesobrien]

WHAT idk if this is up to date but i saw comm prices you posted in the summer and are those prices real?? it says a piece like the one in charlie's pinned (b'elanna's three weed smoking girlfriends) would cost 40$?? possibly even australian dollars which would bring it to only 24€????? what!?!?! you are severely underpriced, i would've guesstimated that piece to be like 80€ or 100usd (which i'm aware is more but i usually expect slightly higher rates from usians since they have a higher cost of living esp if they have health problems which so many on tumblr do) and you're telling me it's twenty four euros??? if i were not literally struggling to buy groceries without accruing further debt rn, i would pounce holy shit

so first and foremost, THANK YOU for saying nice things about my work!! i really hope ur financial situation improves soon too, i know how much of a struggle it is

and also... it took me so long to answer bcuz i was overthinking it. as per usual. feel free to skip the below though lol

so i really wish i could say something about how i really considered the Artistic Worth(tm) of my work when pricing it, but, well... my main actual consideration was, how low could I go without making it just a total waste of my time? fact is, the two main factors in pricing for me are:

1- i work full time, so any artistic work cuts into my free time... which i'm kind of reluctant to give up... haha!!

2- we are on tumblr. this is the only website where i really have an audience, and it's the donation post website. (to be clear, no hate to donation posts- emergency comms are just donation posts for people who can't accept money without offering something in return even if they would be better off not doing that).

so factor 1 pulls the price up, because i can't be dragged away from my precious sitting around doing nothing time without a financial incentive, and factor 2 pulls it down, because receiving small amounts of money is still better than receiving no money at all, especially in times of financial distress.

on the subject of financial distress, though, i will admit i'm thinking of opening them again- dental work and car work aren't free SADLY, and there's a lot of that going on in my life right now. the only reason i haven't already is that it hasn't hit the point where i need money that i don't have RIGHT NOW, which was the case the time my old job screwed me right before rent was due and the time i turned out to owe the government taxes. is what it is!

final note- another factor, which is secondary to the other two but still influences my decisions somewhat- i'm fast. this is an adhd cliche, i know, but my 1-4 week turnaround time consists mostly of... trying to get myself to work! since you mentioned charlie's pinned, i might as well be real with you and say that was probably only about 2-3ish hours of actually working. i've streamlined my process down a lot over the years, because if i don't get things finished in one sitting it's very, VERY hard for me to finish them at all... so speed is key. At a rate like that, you're looking at between $13-$20/hr, which is a decent enough tradeoff that i feel it's worth it.

[less-than-three-3]

Armored Core 6 - it's good enough

Like probably 90% of people who've been playing AC6, I'm new to the AC franchise after playing the rest of Fromsoft's modern games, and while the game was pretty fun and I could see why it's a cult classic series, I don't know that it really pulled me in as strongly as I thought it would.

Again I thought the game was fun, don't get me wrong, but I definitely did not feel the strong draw to keep playing more and more like I did with other games - like with Elden Ring or the DS trilogy, to compare it with other Fromsoft titles. I will voice what I think contributed to that below, but the tldr is just that the structure and variety didn't really work for me (but it's likely a preference thing). No spoilers below.

I think the first and foremost obvious thing about the AC games is their mission-based format - and of course I knew they were like this going in. I mostly, consciously, viewed this as a positive, allowing me to pace myself better instead of playing for like 4 hours straight or something, and giving me the satisfaction of attempting different missions (read: bosses) with new builds. At the same time, though, I feel like in retrospect this felt a little limiting, especially in terms of plot structure.

Because of the format, essentially the whole story is told through mission debriefs, between-mission dialogues, and somewhat through events of the missions, and that just made me feel less invested, I feel, up until pretty much the endgame where you make a couple pretty big decisions. It also didn't really feel like a natural progression for the most part either, again until the latter half of the game, so I think for many people I'd understand if you feel disconnected from the story entirely because I don't think it does much to pull you in. There's even a multi-part mission that has the breaks to go back to the garage between different otherwise continuous segments of infiltrating a structure. It feels like the story is there to justify the game, as opposed to a world built for the game with the game being used to express that world's events. To many people that's enough, and I get that, but to me it kind of felt like a bit of a letdown.

But at least the game itself is well worth justification - this should really come as no surprise. Of course, being a game from the combat director of Sekiro, the combat and bosses are wonderful (though of course it is what you make of it). The transition from ranged sustained fire to the melee burst of the offhand is always such a satisfying loop. Stagger is very well implemented here, if maybe a little exploitable, and really adds to build considerations and combat approach. Ignoring the stupid "filter" discourse that I luckily have stopped seeing much of, this game does wonderfully to encourage build experimentation and searching for The Answer to various situations - not even just bosses, but scenarios like defense maps or long range/close quarters engagements need you to be flexible with your available AC builds or weapon options.

I do wish, though, that the weapons were generally more interesting. I think the melees are all wonderful and I genuinely love them all, but the guns and explosives were just like, ok. They each had their purposes, don't get me wrong, but I never felt that excited to use a new one for the most part. It kind of feels like the Souls trilogy weapon variety - it's technically there, but I feel like they all play fairly similarly and there's nothing that crazy different about them. That's fine, of course; AC is a series essentially built for number crunchers and spreadsheet lovers, and the weapon considerations do very well to really make you think about your stat tradeoffs. At the same time, though, I feel like to me that wore off about halfway through, since new additions to the shop just weren't particularly interesting or meaningfully more powerful. It's about that point where I just said fuck it and used double miniguns lol, and that honestly was mostly sustainable for the entirety of the second half.

It's not just the weapons though, I felt like the legs and general body considerations were mostly not too interesting, to me. But for this I feel like this might just be a personal issue. I pretty much stuck with the same couple legs for the entire game, and I really didn't feel like the entire rest of the leg options were particularly fun. I wish there were much more leg variety - the tank treads are actually a very good example of this kind of variety, but I felt like nothing else really spoke to me. But again that feels very much like a personal thing. The booster options were really cool though, I loved toying around with different booster options (and was really disappointed when tank treads had their own booster tied into them).

I had fun though! It's very noticeably a very good game, but just nothing topping my personal charts. I'd recommend it for sure - but maybe not as much as I'd recommend the Souls games (on sale on Steam right now!).

[kaiasky]

@lirulin responding here.

as a preface, i'm approaching this less from an angle of 'here's what i miss from reddit' but more abstractly, I'm interested in how choices about the way a website works affect user behavior and the types of interactions that happen there. if you were designing ur own social media what choices would you make, etc. I've had a tumblr account for like 10 yrs and this website is my home. but i think its fun to compare

You are right about misinfo but there is a fundamental misunderstanding happening here. Tumblr is not and should not be a place you go for facts. Its a place you go for opinions and you should assume any "facts" are false until you independently verify them. Its old internet rules. We exist more as a circulating archive than an encyclopedia.

There are, in fact, a great many posts with misinformation that are funny and popular because of that fact that would have been nuked from orbit on other moderated formats. Is there a risk of gullible/naieve/uninformed people falling for things? Yes. But the tradeoff is we get really unexpected masterpieces that cant exist elsewhere.

yeah this is what i was kinda getting at with "ofc u can't simply add them in a vacuum." there are tradeoffs if u try and Combat Misinformation or try to be the world's breaking news site. it's probably good that tumblr doesn't try to be that

that said, i think "assume all facts are false" is simply not a thing people do here. there are currently-circulating posts that are completely wrong in every aspect with 10k+ reblogs. i have corrected them, and yet the vast majority of those blogs believed it and passed that incorrect information onto their followers.

obviously this isn't important but i AM booty-blasted about it on a personal level and i have better tools to correct people on other sites.

again, trade-offs.

Also our tags are not rankings, theyre a way to find things on your own blog again. Ranking posts by how many people have seen them is not a guarantee of quality and would severely compromise how we structure and curate our own blogs.

yeah the second point about tags was mostly thinking about global tags i.e. the ones on an original post that decide where it's visible in sitewide tag search and followed tags. I guess a better way to phrase it would have been: i think tags are great for blog organization and terrible for sitewide organization.

in-blog tags are a whole other mess but it's worth noting they're not even as good as something like blogger or wordpress where you can see a list of all tags along with the number of posts in that tag (and that's even assuming per-blog tags work properly which for about 3 yrs they were entirely broken and i think they're still partially broken. alas)

ofc u can't/shouldn't talk in tags on traditional blogs or whatever so again. trade-offs.

tumblr posts instance with every reblog meaning that they are not easily deleted. They need a sort function more than they need a ranking because how and what we sort is otherwise not indexed or mandated by the tumblr format. Its not a bug, that process, its a web 1.0 feature.

ig my thought is that tags are (theoretically) great for blog organization, they also got adopted as a way to organize/sort tumblr-as-a-whole, and they suck at that. (which is fine--tumblr is always gonna be best if you follow people, not try and browse tags)

but like. compare a small subreddit to a niche interest here, and i think its much easier to nerd out about something on the forum/reddit/discord/usenet model.

oddly Facebook's groups are a really good implementation of interest-based sorting on a primarily person-based platform.

(though again spare us the insufferable leftbook mod drama. trade offs.)

Instead of thinking of tags as subreddits, think of each blog as its own curated subreddit with its own sorting and tagging system. Thats closer to how this site is actually structured.

I think the subreddit analogy is particularly bad actually. u don't follow a topic here, u follow people. and that's great i truly love my mutuals and i enjoy getting a fuller picture of them and their life. if u only talk to someone about ur unicycling hobby on reddit u don't get to say "oh my god congrats on graduating".

but the cost of this is that there's no way to actually find discussion on particularly niche communities.

two things reddit does well that tumblr sucks at:

misinfo. if a post is wrong it either gets downvoted, or the top comment usually ends up being a correction of the misinfo. it's not perfect, but compare to tumblr where the correction will only ever reach a small portion of people who see the post

tags being specific. on tumblr many posts will be tagged incorrectly and fill up the tags. For instance "#196 campfire" is filled with memes because it's a good way to get eyes on your post, and if a post gets notes it becomes highly ranked in all of its tags (the first 10 or 5 or whatever, anyways). vs on reddit if you crosspost a meme to a place it isn't relevant, ppl can remove/downvote it

Ofc u can't simply add them in a vacuum. u add some way to make corrections better, people are going to use it to be dicks. if u add a way to vote to remove tags (without reporting the whole post) people are going to fight over what tags mean what.

but they are like. features that have been longstanding issues(?) with tumblr for ages

[noonmutter]

Kinky Questions, Go!! ALL 50! At least the ones you haven't gotten yet.

*knucklecrack*

1: Kitchen Counter, Couch, or on top of the dryer?

"Yes. If I gotta pick one, couch. Th' dryer's noisy an' I like bein' able t' hear th' other person.

2: Your last sexual encounter: Good or Bad and why:

Answered here!

3: A fictional person that you think would be good in bed:

(I actually don't know any ingame fiction to draw an answer from here, sorry. <.<)

4: Something that never fails to make you horny:

"Pullin' me int' you. Up, down, chest-t'-chest, back-t'-chest, whatever. Not often I get manhandled, y'ken?"

5: Where is one place you would never have sex:

"I mean, never say never, but somewhere it'd take some real convincin' t'get me t' do it? Th' meetin' space at th' center o' th' Dreamgrove. I'd sooner set my 'air on fire than fuck where th' statue o' Malorne might watch me, an' Remulos would not approve."

(Rest below the cut! Yes I did do all of them!)

6: The most awkward moment during a sexual experience was when:

"...Wakin' up in a pile o' people after an especially long bender, none of 'om I recognized, an' not one stitch o' clothin' anywhere in sight except fer a gnome-sized miniskirt. An' there were no gnomes in th' pile! "Days like tha' are why I don't fuck drunk anymore."

7: Weirdest thing that ever made you horny:

"Tenderizin' steak." Sigh. "Pretty sure it was th' smell o' th' raw meat, mostly.

8: What is the best way to sexually bind someone: Handcuffs, Rope, or Other [if other please explain]:

"With my bare 'ands, or with my teeth 'oldin' somethin' sensitive. Wolf's snout kin fit all th' way 'round most people's throats without actually bitin' down as long as I get th' canines all th' way across, an' as long as neither of us move too terribly much, it's great fun."

9: What is the fastest way to make you horny:

"Hook a finger in my collar an' pull me t' yer eye level. Trouble is, if we're not already pretty damn close an' y' start grabbin' at my collar, I might punch y'."

10: Top or bottom?

"Switch."

11: We were about to ____________ but then ______________ [example: we were about to have sex but then his mom walked in] "We were about t' sneak off t' start our 'oneymoon but then I tripped through a portal some jackass dropped in th' middle o' th' weddin' party an' 'ad t' fly all th' way back first.

12: Is one orgasm enough? Are multiple orgasms necessary?

"Sometimes it's enough, sometimes it's a start, sometimes it's not even th' point. Really depends on th' mood at th' moment, dunnit? I like t'go as many rounds as either of us kin stand, most o' th' time, but I def'nitely find plenty o' value in just one long, slow go tha' ends when it ends.

13: Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find:

His expression was less jovial than for most of these questions. "Th' collar I made for Vandy."

14: Weirdest nickname a significant other has ever called you:

"Squigglebird. Long story."

15: Two things you like [or dislike] about oral sex:

"Like th' noises it makes a person make--vocally, I mean--an' th' views it gives o' th' person I'm goin' down on an' th' person tha's goin' down on my. Don't like th' taste all tha' much, really 'ate some o' th' noises yer lips an' throat make if yer a li'l overzealous."

16: Weirdest sexual act some has performed [or tried to perform] on/with you:

"Li'l inflatable toy thingie in m' backside. Felt alright fer a while, cuz I mean it wasn't like it was th' first time I'd 'ad anythin' in there, but ah... she kept goin' past my willin'ness, an' it got pretty damn uncomfortable pretty damn fast. I might be willin' t' try it again but not without a lotta thought b'fore'and, an' not with my 'ands bound.

17: Have you ever tasted yourself? [If no, would you?] [If yes, what did you think?]

"Yeah." He shrugged. "Tasted like cum. Nothin' special."

18: Is it ever okay to not use a condom:

"I mean, if y'both agree to it an' y'don't fool around with anybody else, then yeah it's fine. Overwhelmin' majority o' th' time, I wrap up, even with m'wives."

19: Who was the sexiest teacher you ever had?

"...I din't 'ave any teachers I thought were sexy? My first shan'do was a 'andsome elven woman 'o could arm-wrestle a grizzly an' win, but she wasn't wha' I'd call sexy. Too gruff, too keen t' be alone."

20: A food that you would like to use during a sexual experience:

"Not somethin' I really think about in advance, t'be honest. Cook or no cook, food just kinda 'appens on a whim."

21: How big is too big:

"Can't get my mouth 'round it is usually a problem. Length isn't so much a concern, just means y' won't get t' bury it all th' way after a certain point unless y' want me dead."

22: One sexual thing you would never do:

"Mess with any bod'ly fluids besides cum. I tried real 'ard t'understand tha' one an' I just can't, sorry. Gross."

23: Biggest turn on:

"Depends on th' person; wha's 'ot from one is wierd comin' from another. Pickin' out of a hat? When Val'rin says somethin', then rolls 'is eyes up t' look at me an' tacks on a plaintive li'l 'Sir?' at th'end."

24: Three spots that drive you insane:

"Pretty much anywhere on m' throat, th' undersides o' my wrists, an' my 'air. Partic'larly yankin' on it. Just... don't come up an' do it outta nowhere. Like with m' collar, tha' shit'll get y' punched an' I'd argue y' prolly deserve it."

25: Worst possible time to get horny:

"Most times aren't really tha' bad, Iunno... middle of a warzone I guess?"

26: Do you like it when your sexual partner moans:

"I'm kinna suspicious of anybody 'o doesn't. Wha' kinna person doesn't love tha' kinda instant feedback? Tell me I'm doin' a good job, tell me 'ow t' do a better job, tell me just 'ow blown yer mind is by losin' track o' words, sing me a song."

27: Worst sexual idea you ever had:

"Really dunno why I thought it was a good idea t' let a blindfolded guy toss me anywhere, least of all into a bed with a solid headboard on it."

He touched the back of his head in remembered pain.

28: How much fapping is too much fapping:

"When yer chafed an' still 'aven't finished cuz yer too damned raw and desensitized t' get off, it's prolly time t' stop fer a while."

29: Best sexual complement you ever got:

Answered here!

30: Bald, landing strip, Jumanji:

"Landin' strip, ideally. I kin deal with whatever but tha's th' most convenient amount. Less potential fer mess."

31: Is it good sex if you don’t nut?

"What a bizarre question, 'course it is. Shit, sometimes tha's 'alf th' point."

32: Fill in the blank: “If they ____________, we are fuckin”

"Bite my neck 'r pin me t' a wall."

33: What your favorite part of your body:

"My 'air. It's gotten damned difficult t' take care of, but th' tradeoff's pretty worth it."

34: Favorite foreplay activities:

"Touchin'. Just... touchin'. Runnin' my fingers real light an' soft across ev'ry...single...inch...of a playmate's body. Learnin' th' curves, th' blemishes, th' scars, th' ins, th' outs, th' sensitive spots, th' ticklish bits, th' fav'rites all by touch. I kin do tha' fer hours if they'll let me."

35: Love (>,<, or =) Sex For those of us who don’t remember our math that's “greater than, less than, or equal to]

"Does not equal. Th' two kin be completely unrelated t'one another an' tha's perfec'ly fine. They kin en'hance each other when they're both involved, but they aren't incomplete without one another at all."

36: What do you wear to bed?

"If I kin get away with it, nothin'. I run 'ot these days, it's real easy t' overheat if I wear stuff t' sleep.

37: When was the first time you masturbated:

"Gods, Iunno. Thirteen? Fifteen? Somewhere in there."

38: Do you have any nude/masturbating pictures/video of yourself?

"Not tha' I keep fer very long. I make 'em an' send 'em t' people tha' I made 'em for, then I get rid of 'em cuz I don't wanna watch m'self wankin' or whatever."

39: Have you ever/when was the last time you had sex outside?

"So many times, gods alive. Last time was a few days ago, if y' count th' back acres on our property as outside enough."

40: Have/would you ever have sex outside?

Leon just kinda snorted. (See previous answer!)

41: Have/would you ever had a threesome?

"Sev'ral times, an' I would 'appily do so again with th' right people. Fun, but occasionally tricky t' figger out."

42: What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate?

"Most o' th' time I'm very borin' an' just stick t' my 'and an' maybe a dildo, but I got one o' those vibratin' sleeve thingers not too long ago tha' I've been meanin' t' try out..."

43: Have/would you ever masturbate at work/school?

"No, an' maybe. If I were still workin' in a kitchen where other people 'ad t' work an' there's food ev'rywhere, it'd be an absolutely not. I work in a private workshop by th' 'ouse now, so I kin get away with it more, long as 'm careful. Thus far I 'aven't been so tempted tha' I couldn't make it back in th' house first, though."

44: Have/would you ever have sex on a plane?

"Never been in one, be willin' t' try. I've 'eard 'ow tiny those bathrooms are."

45: What is one song you’d like to have sex to?

"...gonna 'ave t' ask me that'un again in a few months when I know more songs, sorry."

46: What is something nonsexual that makes you horny?

Answered here!

47: Most attractive celebrity?

"Do th' Tarts count as celebrities? I'm not even gonna try t' pick one, but tha's all I got."

48: Do you watch gay/lesbian porn? why/why not?

"Not a big porn-watcher in gen'ral, my life feels like a goddamned romance novel as it is. Not often I need more'n a couple o' particularly fond mem'ries."

49: If a child was born on the occasion of the last time you had sex, how old would that child be right now?

"Four days."

50: Has anyone ever posted nude pictures of you online?

(Hard to answer this one since the internet at large isn't really a thing in WoW, at least not in a widely-accepted enough way for me to answer it...)

51: What is one thing that NEVER makes you horny?

"Put-downs. Don't call me slut or boy or bitch--gods, especially not bitch--or th' like if y'want me t' go 'ome with y'."

52: Do you have stretch marks? (How do you feel about them? Has anyone ever had a problem with them?)

"Not tha' I've seen."

53: Do you like giving head? (why/why not)

"Like givin' it cuz it makes m' playmate feel real nice, don't like th' flavor s' much."

54: How do you feel about tattoos on someone you are interested in?

"Doesn't make a dif'rence t' me, aside from most tattoos bein' pretty."

55: How would you feel about taking someones virginity?

"Done it, though I'm not a fan o' th' phrasin'. They put some trust in me, I din't take anythin'."

56: Is there any food you would NOT recommend using during a sexual encounter?

"Nothin' spicy. Period. Just don't. It's not worth it."

57: Is there anything you do on Tumblr that you would not like your significant other to see?

(Another one that doesn't really have an answer in this context.)

58: Do you own any sex toys? (what is it? (how long have you had it?)

Leon burst out laughing and pointed at the full-size steamer trunk at the foot of his bed. "Tha's not even close t' all of it, either. Gods alive, wha' a question t' ask me!"

59: Would you give your significant other unrestricted access to your Tumblr for a day?

"Wouldn't give 'em unrestricted access t' anythin' private o' mine fer a day. If it's tha' private t' begin with, it's cuz it's my safe 'aven, an' they respect tha', same as I do their private stuff."

60: Would you be offended if your significant other suggested you get plastic surgery?

"A li'l bit if it came outta nowhere, but I've talked a fair bit about wishin' I could get rid o' some o' my scars. It's not somethin' I wouldn't consider tryin'."

61: Would you rather be a pornstar or a prostitute?

"Pretty 'appy doin' th' latter as it is. Don't think I'd wanna try th' recorded stuff, it seems like it'd be really awkward t' do tha' fer a cam'ra crew an' with somebody 'o ain't really enjoyin' it."

62: Do you watch porn?

"Not really. Most of it's not int'restin' t' me."

63: How small is too small?

"'Too small' is 'ard fer me t' quantify. I 'aven't found anythin' too small fer me t' work with some'ow."

64: Have you ever been called a freak? Why?

Bit of a flat look. "Worgen."

65: Who gave you your last kiss? Did it mean anything?

"Me an' th' guy 'o fucked me on th' fence out back shared quite a few kisses b'fore, durin', an' after. Mostly they meant 'fuck yer hot.'"

66: Would you switch phones with your significant other for a day?

"I mean, I could. Nothin' on there I wouldn't want any of 'em t' see. Be a bit inconvenient though."

67: Do you feel comfortable going “commando”?

"Frankly I'm more comfortable tha' way than otherwise. Spent too long with a big ol' poof o' fur around m' crotch t' be comfy with most undies. Same reason I'm not overly fond o' shoes either."

68: Would you have a problem with going down on someone if they hadn’t shaved their pubic hair?

"Purely in a logistical sense, yeah. I kin still go t' town an' do thin's right, but it's... sloppy. Those 'airs seem t' WANT t' get in yer mouth, an' all tha', an' it's just so much messier overall."

69: If you could give yourself head, would you?

"'O says I can't?"

70: Booty or Boobs?

"I am very much an ass man."

71: If you had a penis, what would you name it?

"I do, but I didn't. Namin' it seems strange."

72: Have you ever been on an official date?

"Sev'ral, but all of 'em only took place in th' last few years. Never when I was growin' up."

73: Have you ever cheated on someone? (Why?)

"No, an' I never will, an' you kin quote me on tha'."

74: If you were a stripper, what would your name be?

"I 'aven't th' faintest idea 'ow tha' works."

75: Have you ever had sex in your parents bed? (Would you?)

"Nope. Never 'ad th' opportunity, an' I think I'd rather throw up on th' floor an' eat it."

76: How would you react if you found out your parents had sex in your bed?

"Sweet, I'm gettin' a new bed!"

77: What was your reaction the first time you saw a penis/vagina

"Assumin' we're not talkin' about my own bits... 'That's not gonna fit!' fer a dick, an' 'This is a lot less sexy than th'other lads made it out t'be' fer a cooch."

78: If you had a penis/vagina for a day, what are five things you would do?

Answered here!

79: Oral, Anal, or Vaginal? 

"Yes."

80: What’s the first thing you look at on someone of the opposite gender?

"Their face. Also 'ow they carry themselves. But mostly their face."

( @pinpep @shckaewynn @valarin-sunstorm for mentions )

[tackyink]

Last and longest, 1600 words. Manga spoilers.

———————————————————-

The lack of footsteps at night is disconcerting.

Jujutsu High isn’t that different from her former residence, in the sense of being nested in a forest and built in a traditional style. Sleeping on a bed instead of a futon took some time to get used to, but it was fine. The sounds coming from outside are just what she’s used to — the odd night bird, the crickets and cicadas taking turns to compose a strident symphony that, she learned a few years prior, does bother many city people — and would effortlessly lull her to sleep was it not for the lack of percussion from inside.

The Tatsumi manor is a hub of activity day and night, a natural consequence of being an extense family with servants. It is the latter who mainly move at night, while the family members are asleep, either finishing their work for the day or getting an early start for the next. Shiho didn’t pay them any mind when she moved to that residence, but as she grew up she learned to distinguish the regular footsteps of the staff from the occasional interruptions in their routine. Once a pattern broke, it meant that something was happening in the house, and if that was the case, it was best to stay still and listen until the storm blew over. Chiaki, on occasion, hid in Shiho’s room at night, and Shiho played along if Chiaki was questioned about it. Their story was that Shiho had nightmares and was scared of sleeping alone, and since Chiaki’s job was to be at her beck and call day and night, they didn’t think anything of it.

Shiho’s used to waking up at once when a floorboard creaks too close to her room, but having no noise at all? It is unnatural, and the empty space where all the noise should be doesn’t feel any better than the constant, familiar state of vigilance.

If she’s lucky, she’s so tired that the lights turn off the moment her head hits the pillow. But excluding the days when she’s sent to get field experience, the moments of absolute exhaustion are less and less frequent the more her physical condition strengthens and she doesn’t have to exert herself so much to complete her daily tasks.

It’s the end of the second semester and she’s staring at the ceiling of her room for the second night in a row. Suguru expressed concern that morning when he saw her sleepy face, which was very sweet of him, but then the others poked fun at how gross she looked and nobody paid her any mind anymore. She isn’t looking forward to running on three hours of sleep again, but she hopes that at least that means that she’s going to sleep like a rock the next day. It often works like that.

She’s lost count of how many times she’s turned in her bed when something hits the deck outside and she jumps out of her skin because she didn’t hear anything approaching.

She waits, ear trained outside, when the same thing happens. Confused, and perhaps the slightest bit scared, she leaves her bed to check through the curtains. It takes her a while to notice the two small pebbles sitting on the deck. Long enough, in fact, that another one collides with it before she can open the glass door and look at the direction from which it came.

Four empty rooms down the row, Gojo Satoru is lying on the floor with half his body inside his room and half on the deck, undoubtedly the sniper Shiho was looking for, and she replies to his hostile advances with the universal arm gesture for what are you doing? 

“Can’t sleep,” he says.

She blinks very slowly. She’s probably grimacing, but people shouldn’t be required to be self-aware in the wee hours of the night. Morning? So she thinks what the hell, backs into her room to get a jacket, and she walks the length of the deck towards him.

It is so tempting to step on his face that she gives in.

“You’re so mean.” He’s grinning when she removes the foot from his face because, evidently, she hasn’t been able to touch him.

“Couldn’t resist,” she says, or at least tries to when a huge yawn makes its way out at the same time. He chuckles. “Trying to wake up people while they sleep is mean too.”

“You weren’t sleeping, though.”

Her eyes narrow. “Are you spying on me?”

“Not intentionally. All the rooms between yours and mine are empty. I see your cursed energy.”

“You could look at Suguru’s.” Who is adjacent to him on the other side.

He pouts. “But he’s asleep.”

This time he moves to push her away when her feet starts to descend on his face again.

Satisfied with that, Shiho sits cross legged next to him. “Why are you here?”

“The Six Eyes make it hard to sleep.”

Oh. That made a lot of sense. “That’s shitty.”

He laughs good naturedly, but there’s a tired edge to it. “What’s your deal?”

“Not enough noise.”

“...Seriously?”

“Yeah. I guess I’m not used to it yet.”

“I didn’t take the Tatsumi manor for a lively place. Every time I’ve met the head of your family he looked like was trying to dislodge a pole from his ass and failing.”

Her mouth twists at the memory of the man. “He’s not trying, I assure you.”

“Not fond of him?”

He takes her lack of response as a valid answer, though it isn’t as though she didn’t want to talk. She just didn’t know how to word what she needed to say.

“Not fond of him.”

She settles on what she thinks is a good enough response to an audience who will appreciate it. “He and his sons can choke.”

It’s the closest he’s seen Satoru to wearing a scandalized look. Not quite there, though, but he was not expecting that comment from her.

“They’re awful. Very… traditional, in the worst possible sense.”

“Hmm. So I’ve heard.”

She wonders how much, but she doesn’t ask.

“Sometimes I stargaze when I can’t sleep,” he suddenly says, and she welcomes the distraction.

Looking up, she understands what he was doing on the floor. “Oh.”

The idle thought that it makes sense, since his eyes look a lot like a lighter version of the starry sky above the school lingers for a bit in her mind before she realizes what she’s thinking and frowns. When has she developed a flair for the artistic?

“The eaves get in the way, though. Wanna go up?”

“Up where?”

He points at the roof. “Duh.” He gets up and smiles in that way of his that says he’s going to get his way and he knows it, and extends a hand towards Shiho. “Are you coming or not?”

Shiho regards the hand as a contract she should meticulously read before signing. Logically speaking, he is the fastest way to the roof, and she is unwilling to climb, so it’s either his hand or resuming her contemplation of the ceiling. Of course, accepting the offer also means a measure of trust that she’s not sure she should give to anyone grinning that way, much less this guy. “Fine.”

She’s taking his hand at the same time she gives her reply, and the word is barely out of her mouth when she’s suddenly standing barefooted on inclined singles.

After a brief second of panic in which she grasps his hand painfully tight, she regains her balance and says, “You’re a menace.” She hears him laugh and suspects he takes it as a compliment. Maybe he should.

They do their best not to slip as they sit down, but their shuffling around must have been louder than they thought, or maybe their neighbor is a light sleeper, because no sooner than they’ve made themselves comfortable, there’s a sound of sliding doors below and Suguru walks out of his room. Uncannily coordinated, they stay very still and quiet and watch their classmate inspect his surroundings to locate the source of the noises, but the moment he looks up at them Shiho’s face is split by a sincere smile and she waves at him. 

He’s confused, and frowning, but mostly confused. “What are you doing?”

“We can’t sleep! Come with us?” she asks, hopeful.

“Yeah, what are you waiting for?”

For a second before Satoru opened his big mouth it looked like he was going to say yes, but instead he retorts, “Are you stupid? We have class in the morning!”

Shiho gets it, because Satoru’s face always makes everyone want to say no. It’s hilarious and annoying, depending on what side of the conversation you’re on.

“Bring snacks!” he says at his friend, and Shiho lets out an unladylike snort that makes her cover her mouth.

Suguru looks so affronted by the assumption that he’s going to join them in their nonsense that they’re convinced that he’s gone back inside to sleep, but he surprises them when he reappears right away and throws a bag of crackers at Satoru that does hit him smack dab in the middle of the face, and Shiho’s still vicariously celebrating that little victory when he steps on the roof with the help of a curse and sits between the two of them.

“Someone needs to keep an eye on you,” he says to Satoru with a smile of his own, taking back his bag of crackers and opening it.

Shiho doesn’t get her three hours of sleep, but she thinks the tradeoff’s been worth it.

[douchebagbrainwaves]

EVERY FOUNDER SHOULD KNOW ABOUT BUSINESS

This rule is left over from a time when algorithm meant something like the current Google? Why do patents play so small a role in software? Any hacker who looked at some complex device and realized that with a tiny tweak he could make it run more efficiently. In something that's out there, problems are alarming. It has for me. It may also help them to grasp what's special about your technology. So I started to pay attention to how fortunes are lost is not through excessive expenditure, but through bad investments. Fear the Right Things. Microsoft Word. But there are limits to how well they'll be able to hire better programmers, because they'll attract only those who cared enough to learn it.

4 million a month to the rapacious founder after two years? They just don't want to seem like they had to make concessions. Perhaps a better solution is to assume that anything you've made is far short of what it might have been. If no one else will defend you, you have to publish it, and that's just as bad as the mid seventies. Perhaps a better solution is to look at the problem from the other end. When a company starts fighting over IP, it's a sign they've lost the real battle, for users. Startups usually win by making something so great that people recommend it to their friends.1 You generally apply for a broader patent than you think you'll be granted, and the startups are mostly schleps. True, but I don't think publishers can learn much from software. So while they're often nice guys, they just can't help it.

And not just from the technical community in general; a lot of users. So if you're the least bit inclined to find an excuse to quit, there's always some disaster happening.2 This essay is derived from a talk at the 2006 Startup School. Patent trolls are hard to fight precisely because they create nothing. Economically, the print media and the music labels simply overlooking this opportunity? There's nothing special about physical embodiments of control systems that should make them patentable, and the examiners reply by throwing out some of your claims and granting others. You can't even drive the thing yet, but 83,000 people came to sit in the driver's seat and hold the steering wheel. Technology trains leave the station at regular intervals. Startup acquisitions are usually a lot of mistakes.3 Cross out that final S and you're describing their business model.

Nothing is more likely to buy you than sue you. Experts can implement, but they can't design. Before central governments were powerful enough to enforce order, rich people had private armies. But different things matter to different people, and it's unclear whether anyone could be. If nuclear winter really is here, it may be safer to be a contrarian to be correct, and by that point the innovation that generated it has already happened. The startups we've funded so far are pretty quick, but they don't understand software yet. Most successful startups make that tradeoff unconsciously.4 And for programmers the paradox is even more pronounced: the language to learn, if you love life, don't waste time, because time is what life is made of. We tell the startups we fund not to worry about it, because a toll has to be more than new. If you grow to the point where anyone considers you worth attacking, you're doing well. Viaweb.5 In middle school and high school, what the other kids think of you seems the most important quality is in a startup.

If you had a handful of 8 peanuts, or a shelf of 8 books to choose from, the quantity would definitely seem limited, no matter how obscure you are now. I don't really blame Amazon for applying for the patent, but that has historically been a distinct business from publishing. You can lose quite a lot in the brains department and it won't kill you unless you let them. So I advise fatalism. Both make sense here.6 Every couple days I slip and call it Viaweb.7 Actually, it's more often don't worry about this; worry about that instead. I don't think they hamper innovation much. This is a little depressing.8 VCs should be trying to fund more of. When attacked, you were supposed to fight back, and there is something grand about that. Patent trolls are companies consisting mainly of lawyers whose whole business is to accumulate patents and threaten to sue companies who actually make things.

A mere 15 weeks. The truth is more boring: the state of the economy doesn't matter much either way. Perhaps we can split the difference and say that mobility gives hackers the luxury of being principled. Viaweb, and became Yahoo's when they bought us. I now had to think about something I hadn't had to think about something I hadn't had to think about something I hadn't had to think about something I hadn't had to think about before: how not to lose it. The optimal ways to make money by creating wealth, not by suing people. I was leaving I offered it to him, as I've done countless times before in the same situation. To make money the way software companies do, publishers would have to become software companies, and being publishers gives them no particular head start in that domain. If companies stuck to their initial plans, Microsoft would be selling printed circuit boards. It's more like saying I'm not going to apply for patents just because everyone else does. We tend to say yes to the second, but no smarter than you; they're not as motivated, because Google is not going to go out of business if this one product fails; and even at Google they have a lot of bureaucracy to slow them down.

There are several reasons it pays to get version 1 done fast. 9% of the people who thought during the Bubble all I have to keep repeating.9 It's easy to let the days rush by. So why do so many people complain about software patents stifling innovation, but when one looks closely at the software business I know from experience whether patents encourage or discourage innovation, and the content was what they were selling, and the startups are mostly schleps. But the breakage seems to affect software less than most other fields. You can lose quite a lot in the brains department and it won't kill you. It's ok to be optimistic about what you can see people doing. And one of the earliest sites with enough clout to force customers to log in before they could buy something.10 It seems to me the only limit would be the number of startups is not the criteria they use but that they always tend to focus on the goal of getting lots of users. This principle is very powerful.11 The American way is to make money from it indirectly, or find ways to embody it in things people will pay for information otherwise?

So it is with hacking: the more rewarding some kind of job. Well, founders aren't much better. A copy of Time costs $5 for 58 pages, or 8. Even now I think if you asked hackers to free-associate about Amazon, the one to choose is your growth rate to compensate. Some examples will make this clear. You don't need to be constantly reminding yourself why you shouldn't wait. But while I'd spent a lot of regulations.

Notes

To get all that matters, just as well as problems that have been the plague of 1347; the point of a company. I'm writing about one specific, rather than admitting he preferred to call all our lies lies. College English Departments Come From? Startups are businesses; the point of a place to exchange views.

And the reason this works is that the most abstract ideas, because they were already lots of type II startup, but you get paid much. Back when students focused mainly on getting a job after college, they compete on tailfins. Google will pay the most important section.

If the company.

VCs seem to have balked at this, on the firm's site, they're nice to you; you're too early really means is you're getting the stats for occurrences of foo in the same town, unless the person who would make good angel investors. The best thing for founders; if their kids to them about. In theory you could probably be to write an essay about why something isn't the last place in the case, is deliberately intended to be significantly pickier.

Particularly since many causes of the 800 highest paid executives at large companies. Surely it's better and it will become less common for the average NBA player's salary during the war, tax rates were highest: 14. For example, would increase the size of the latter case, not because it's a proxy for revenue growth.

If near you doesn't mean easy, of course it was wiser for them by the Clayton Antitrust Act in 1914. This explains why such paintings are slightly more interesting than random marks would be more linear if all you have to admit there's no center to walk in with a degree that alarmed his family, that must mean you should prevent your investors from helping you to raise money succeeded, and how good they are to be about 50%. So far the only reason I say in principle is that it's no longer working to help a society generally is to how Henry Ford got started as a single VC investment that began with an online service.

I couldn't believe it, by doing another round that values the company, but half comes from. I say the rate of change in response to what you really need that recipe site or local event aggregator as much income.

The US News list tells us is what the rule of thumb, the reaction might be able to redistribute wealth successfully, because investors don't yet get what they're really saying is they want both. It was revoltingly familiar to slip back into it.

In a typical fund, half the companies that seem promising can usually get enough money from mediocre investors. So by agreeing to uncapped notes. Since most VCs aren't tech guys, the last thing you changed.

There is usually slow growth or excessive spending rather than trying to sell services than a nerdy founder trying to describe what's happening as merely not-too-demanding environment, but they hate hypertension.

The First Industrial Revolution, England was already the richest and most sophisticated city in the few cases where a great founder is being able to redistribute wealth successfully, because spam and legitimate mail volume both have distinct daily patterns.

Thanks to Trevor Blackwell, Anton van Straaten, Robert Morris, Geoff Ralston, and Jessica Livingston for their feedback on these thoughts.

[ariyadaivaris]

- oh god vic please come back. where have you gone. we miss you

- NEW GEAR! NEW GEAR FOR TONY the track jacket is obviously new (its very cute i like the rolled up sleeves+tape up to wrists look a lot) and his new goofy lil emblem on his kneepads. also its the same candy red as ariya's. unbearable! i can't stand them. good for him

- "a red wedding of sorts, if you will" HUH? YOU CAN'T SAY THAT. WHY DID HE SAY THAT

- ARIYA DID THE SLASH ACROSS THE THROAT THING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT FEELS LIKE LIFETIMES SINCE HE'S DONE IT i love him. terrible. awful. scary <3

- the windup on ariya's elbow drops <3 he is a delight to watch...

- god i wish wish WISH 205 had some fucking storylines again!!!!!!!!!! i love tony and ariya and i love the bollywood boys, you know this, but if i have to watch another mostly directionless tag match that won't go anywhere or lead to anything because the cw division's plot-important stuff is relegated to nxt with an entirely different group of people and none of these guys are considered in high enough regard to reap the rewards of a division they built and carried on their backs for the last 5 years with NO fucking help or faith in them at all i'm going to go off the deep end. i would take an in-ring promo at this point. anything at fucking all   - commentary keeps pushing the "they're working harder than ever to get a title shot" thing and it's just so. i'm insanely depressed about it. does ANYONE genuinely believe, watching this, that they will ever be given a title shot? do the four men in this ring right now have any hope that they will ever see that title on their show again, never mind get a chance at it?   - ariya really isn't ever gonna be a champion is he. the division gets some steam and he's never going to be a part of it. i'm so mad all the time. lol

- its...a struggle to watch 205 recently. it is a struggle to do fucking anything recently but this especially is hard because 205 is like. My Thing. that is the one thing that i am in it for, this is the one thing i have to look forward to on a weekly basis, to mark the passage of time for myself. and i just can't keep doing this! watching alone, having to sustain interest on my own, ignoring the parts of the division that have things going on because its dudes ive never seen on 205 and have no interest in and because its a lot of miserable shitheels and predators that dubya considers relevant for reasons i will never understand (their loyalties have always been clear but given how little anyone cares about like, devlin, who has never done anything in dubya at all even if you ignore That, its like what tradeoff could possibly be worth this unless you want to just signal that you will protect abusers which EVERYONE KNOWS ALREADY), watching and desperately finding scraps of character development in reruns of the same three match configurations over and over and over again involving more dudes that you don't really care about even after all this time because they joined post-plot-or-character and its all with no build, no leadup, no EXCITEMENT, while everyone has already kind of moved on from it for reasons that seem better and better all the time. i don't want to let go of it or stop hoping because i WANT to see if anything happens, i care about ariya and tony's weird fuckin story arcs that much if anything and honestly i think letting go of it at this exact point in time is admitting a loss that i could not withstand at the present moment, but its so...i have to force myself to watch it at this point. and i know it all sounds sooooo pathetic because it is, but i'm just. im so tired!!!!!!!! im so fucking tired of it all

- OHHH SAMIR'S SAVE INTO THE NECKBREAKER OWNS

- ITS FUCKIN SUNIL TIME BABEY!!!!!!!!!! SUNIL SINGH EPIC MOMENTS COMPILATION!!!! GOLD STANDARD DOESNT STAND A CHANCE LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOO

- ariya tagging tony in and just kind of collapsing and rolling through the ropes to have a little lie-down on the apron. sunil singh unstoppable, undefeatable, cannot be survived

- ARIYA KNOCKED HIMSELF OUT ON THE POST. ARIYA

- TONY TWO KNEES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- TONY GET CLEAN PIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARIYA WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- oh my guy ariya's not lookin too good lol

- he’s fine <3 (he IS okay if you are worried)

- oh now lorcan cares about the cruiserweight division again huh! interesting ^_^

- legado del fantasma should be allowed to do that. i think its okay

- i don't really care about him besides going huh, fun aesthetic i guess, but i like grey's entrance music a LOT. maybe it's just the vocals making it distinguishable from whatever new team is doing the themes and making them all the same boring generic hinting-at-metal pop punk instrumental shit. oh well

- commentary making suuuuuuuch a big deal over grey doing things The Right Way to beat mansoor and IF I DO RECALL CORRECTLY tony as well and ignoring that he cheated to beat ariya. ariya gets cheated out of the recognition he's earned once again i see...pretty sure grey wasn't doing it The Right Way when he put his feet on the ropes against the BACKBONE, the BLOOD, the SPINE of the cruiserweight division but whatever............

- you know what i miss? high flying. that thing that 205 was originally about showcasing in a lot of ways? where did that go (to the corner to sit through timeout for being too good apparently) god i miss lhp i miss cedric i miss babyface moose i miss angel and humberto and AKIRA!!!!...i even miss buddy...wails and gnashes my teeth. i miss alicia and kenta and lio and the kanellises though i am glad they are out of dubya. some of these people aren't high flyers which was the original point whatever i still miss them. i need to rewatch 205 so i can try to have fun and not freak out over just how much of it i have to skip over

-  he is so handsome <///3

- ariya is both very VERY interested in august cheating to beat him and furious that he's not cheating to beat anyone else. why WOULD he do that? he didn't care about it when he had to beat ariya. ariya's not the ONLY heel in the division, and not the only person who would cheat to win. august can position himself as righteous--he's doing things HIS way, after all--and noble, but ariya knows better. august is losing by doing this, too! he's not WINNING! he cares more about his principles than about the win, which is CERTAINLY news to ariya. turnabout is fair play against him, apparently, because It's Daivari and anyone can do anything to him and get off scot-free. ariya watches grey refuse to cheat against anyone else, and he listens and he is commended as a hero for it, and it is driving him up the wall to watch. of course, ariya getting humiliated and treated like shit by people who then get lauded as clean babyfaces who continue thinking of him as a dirty cheater beneath them as they do the same things is uh. he’s encountered it before

- "YOU blew it! you let your pride get in the way! YOU blew it! don't ever forget that!" HM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- this is so fucking juicy. ariya ranks winning through any means above his pride! ariya would rather win dirty than lose clean. he's disgusted that grey won't use his brain to see that a win is better than a loss. ALSO! ariya going "you let your pride get in the way" is SO interesting! self righteousness as arrogance in his eyes feels very illuminating. NO he's not exactly PROUD of the shit he's done but it's the smart thing to do. he's survived, hasn't he? how many other cruiserweights could say that? did mustafa survive? did cedric? did akira? did their principles help them survive? did akira having his arm ripped off just to outlast ariya The Right Way do anything to help him in the long run? what good is doing things the right way when it is so so so fucking hard not to die in here already? on the other hand, ariya is also kind of proud at times! ariya's pride being wounded is what led to the huge character shift he went through to begin with. his pride got in the way of joining drew and tony on the same level and it got in the way of fixing things properly between him and tony until they had to grow back together, and when i say grow i mean it in the sense of...like...a tree. slow and deliberate and taking fucking forever. and it's still never been addressed out loud, really. when ariya says grey's pride got in the way of somethig, he has some idea of what he's talking about ugh. UGH!!!!!!!!! this is all so fascinating. ariya daivari top five characters of all time

[pretoriuspictures]

https://www.talkhouse.com/on-the-virtues-of-cinematic-failure/

///

Most journalists who have spoken to me about my new erotic drama PVT Chat (starring Peter Vack and Julia Fox and streaming now on most VOD platforms) assume it’s my first feature film. Actually, it’s my third. My first two features never played a single film festival and haven’t been seen by more than a few hundred people (mostly friends and/or curious followers of my rock band, Bodega). They were financial failures (even though they were made extremely cheaply), but you couldn’t call them critical failures because nobody has ever reviewed them. I spent the last decade working on these films and yet their cultural footprint is practically nonexistent.

Despite that, I still believe in them and hope one day I’ll make a movie (or record) that inspires people to seek them out. My early cinematic attempts certainly failed at behaving like normal movies, but to me it is precisely this failure that makes them interesting.

Godard said of Pierrot le Fou (1965), “It’s not really a film. It’s an attempt at a film.” This is a purposefully cryptic statement, but I think I understand what he meant. There is a sketch-like quality to his films from that period. He was less interested in following a particular plot through to its conclusion than suggesting narrative ideas and moving on. He enjoyed employing classical narrative tropes but didn’t want to waste screen time on the proper pacing required to sell those tropes to an audience. Instead he filled his screen time with spontaneous personal, poetic, and political ruminations that occurred to him literally on the day of filming. Many found – and still find – this approach infuriating, but for a select number of Godard disciples, like me, this type of filmmaking is still revolutionary. I remember seeing Weekend during my sophomore year of college at the University of South Carolina and having my mind completely ripped open. Suddenly the world wasn’t a small, mediocre, predictable place – it was full of music and color and philosophy and eroticism. There were people out there genuinely disgusted with the status quo and boldly proclaiming it with style.

Godard’s work is a fulfillment of the dream of the caméra-stylo – a term coined in 1948 by Alexandre Astruc that argued it was theoretically possible for someone to compose a film with as much direct personal expression as exists in prose. In order to achieve this level of expression, one often needs to move beyond the realm of mere plot and narrative naturalism, the principle that what you are seeing on screen is real. (On most movie sets, the filmmakers and actors work overtime to sell this illusion.) Films that focus solely on plot, character psychology, and one literary theme have to direct the majority of their screen time toward plotting mechanics and emotional manipulation of the audience. What you gain in dramatic catharsis you often lose in intellectual honesty. There’s always a tradeoff. I am invested in a cinema of the future that veers toward self-expression, but doesn’t need to avoid dramatic catharsis as Godard’s films did. Certainly many filmmakers my age are working to achieve such a synthesis of intellectual directness and narrative pleasure. Experimentation is required and many “bad” films need to be made to pave the way for future successes.

I graduated college in 2010 high on this dream of the caméra-stylo and philosophy (my field of study) and in 2011 started filming my first feature, Annunciation, with experimental filmmaker Simon Liu. Annunciation is an “adaptation” of the Mérode Altarpiece, an early Northern Renaissance oil painting triptych by Robert Campin. The film features three short separate narratives, one for each panel of the famous 15th-century painting. I wanted the performances in Annunciation to be controlled and somewhat surreal, as if the whole film existed in a heightened but slowed-down hypnotic state; I was thinking about Bresson, Ozu, Antonioni and, of course, Godard (particularly his work from the ’80s). There is some plot, but the main goal of the movie was to reveal the miracle of existence in the everyday. And because the Mérode Altarpiece depicts the scene in Christianity where the Virgin Mary was impregnated by light alone, the film had to be shot on 16mm film.

Now picture this: a 22-year-old walks into a conference room in Midtown Manhattan and gives this pitch to a producer who was then investing in thriller movies: “Every time light strikes a piece of celluloid, a miracle similar to the Annunciation scene occurs: an image appears in the likeness of man that redeems our fallen world and reveals it to be the beautiful place that we take for granted in our normal day-to-day.” This wasn’t met with the enthusiasm I was hoping for. “Don’t you see,” I said, “this is a film about the ecstatic of the quotidian! This is a film that audiences will flock to! It could do for Williamsburg and Bushwick what Breathless did for Paris!” Looking back, I am both shocked and charmed by my youthful naiveté, courage and idiocy.

I was laughed out of the room, but the producer was kind enough to wish me good luck and welcomed any future pitches, should I come up with something any “normal” person would want to watch. I never thought of films in the tradition of the caméra-stylo as being elite works only for the gallery or the Academy. I, like Godard before me, have always assumed that audiences are intelligent and long for thoughtful, challenging movies. That belief I carry to this day and thankfully it sometimes seems to be true. How else could you explain the recent success of heady films by Josephine Decker or Miranda July?

Thanks to small donations from family members (and credit cards), I was able to shoot Annunciation without any official backing. I cast the film with a mixture of non-actor friends and some undiscovered Backstage.com talent and dove head first into the production. Right as our principal photography began, Occupy Wall Street gained momentum, so Simon and I spent time at Zuccotti Park filming our actors experiencing the movement. The hopeful promise of OWS seemed to reflect the yearning desire of our film’s protagonists as well as our own idealist cinema experiment.

When the film was finished and edited, I naively assumed that we were well on our way towards global cinematic notoriety. Surely, I thought, this important film that manages to blend fiction with actual footage of OWS would premiere at Cannes or Berlin and the Criterion Collection would issue the DVD shortly after. In actuality, it was rejected from every single film festival we submitted to.

Undeterred, I conceded that maybe there were a few minor structural flaws in the edit. It was probably a little too long and perhaps the three separate narratives would work better if they were crosscut more. A year later, this new edit was again rejected from almost 100 festivals. Stubbornly, I thought that perhaps what could really bring the movie together was a comic voiceover by my then cinematic muse Nick Alden (who is a lead in both Annunciation and my second film, The Lion’s Den). Audiences seemed to ignore the comic tone underlying Annunciation. If only I could unearth it, they wouldn’t be put off by the pretensions to greatness the movie wore on its sleeve. There is nothing so offensive to American audiences as pretentiousness.

I didn’t send the overcooked voiceover version to festivals. I knew it was forced and worked against the core concept of the film. But it was then that I started for the first time to have doubts about Annunciation. Maybe my film wasn’t as emotional or clever as I imagined. Maybe it was bad? “No,” I decided. The film, whatever its flaws may be, has value. Herculean delusions of grandeur come in handy when you are trying to become an artist.

I opted to edit the film back to its original state, but without some of the weaker, obviously didactic moments, then hosted a few local screenings in NYC (most of them at DIY venues where my rock band would play) and put the film up for free on Vimeo. Around this time, it occurred to me that editing Annunciation had been my film school. Failure is a wonderful learning tool. Editing the same raw material in a myriad of different ways taught me about pacing and tone. Still to this day, when I find myself in a certain state of mind, I open up the Final Cut sessions and do a new edit of the footage just for fun, like some sort of DIY George Lucas tinkering with the past. Last year during quarantine, I did a new edit of Annunciation and uploaded it to Vimeo without telling a single person. It has become my own little cinematic sandbox to play in.

When people did chance upon one of my myriad edits, they often commented that they enjoyed its style but found the acting too unnatural. My response to this was to make my next film, The Lion’s Den, a cheaper HDV feature that doubled as a political farce and an essay about naturalism in cinema. The film is about a group of ding-dong radicals who kidnap a Wall Street banker and plan to donate his ransom money to UNICEF so salt pills can be provided for dehydrated children. The UNICEF plot was drawn from Living High and Letting Die, a 1996 work of moral philosophy by Peter K. Unger. It was both a serious attempt at political philosophy and a total slapstick farce; I was imagining the comedy of errors in Renoir’s The Rules of the Game mixed with the Marxist agitprop of Godard’s La Chinoise.

The acting style in The Lion’s Den was purposefully cartoonish; at no point in the film could an audience member believe that what they were seeing was real. I like to think that The Lion’s Den was an attempt at theatre for the camera, part Shakespeare and part Brecht. This was my own personal response to our epoch’s hyperrealism fetish. At the time, I believed that the current obsession with neo-neorealism, mumblecore and reality TV was worth combating. Art with a realistic aesthetic, I thought then, was inherently conservative and accepting of the political status quo (whether the artists were aware of this or not). Art with an imaginative anti-realistic aesthetic, so I thought, was utopian. It opened new vistas and ways of thinking and being. It dared to believe in a more beautiful world than the one we are living in.

The making of The Lion’s Den was extremely difficult. It was by far the hardest thing I have physically done in my life. At the time, I was malnourished and broke, not unlike the character of Jack in PVT Chat; my diet for that month we made the film consisted mostly of coffee, rice and beans, ramen, light beer, and the occasional waffle or fruit smoothie from the vegan frozen yogurt stall I worked at. Unlike Jack, my addiction wasn’t cam girls or internet gambling, but independent filmmaking. I begged, borrowed and scrimped $10,000 to make a film I knew I wouldn’t be able to sell. Despite having some key collaborators near the beginning of the shoot, most of the film was made with just me, the actors and a loyal boom operator, all living together in a house in Staten Island. This meant that I had to assemble all of the cumbersome lights for every setup, handle the art for every scene (which involved a lot of painting), block the scene and direct the actors, throw the camera on my shoulder and film, and then at the end of the day transfer the footage while logging the Screen Actors Guild reports and creating the call sheets for the next day’s scenes. Exhausted both mentally and physically, I often couldn’t stand up at the end of the day’s filming.

Once we’d wrapped and everyone had gone home, I stood in the middle of our set and played Beethoven on my headphones. Within seconds, I began bawling my eyes out, partly from exhaustion but also from the melancholy that all my friends had left and I was now alone for the first time in a month. I collapsed and slept for hours. When I woke up, it was my 26th birthday. I celebrated by watching Citizen Kane alone and then started the process of painting the walls back to a neutral white. The actor Kevin Moccia (who has been in all three of my films and actually works as a house painter) heroically came back to set and helped me. I told him that despite all of the agony of the past weeks (my bank account was now in the red, with overdraft fees piling up), I was happier than I had ever been. Working passionately on something that has great value to you is, without a doubt, the key to happiness.

Shortly after returning to the real world and my job at the vegan yogurt shop, I passed out while on the clock and was taken to a hospital by my very supportive girlfriend. Turns out, all I needed was an IV and some nutrients to get back on my feet, but unfortunately the trouble with The Lion’s Den had just begun. At some point, I formatted the production audio memory card and, in one instant, accidentally deleted everything on it. For the next two years, my friend Brian Goodheart and I worked with all of the actors to dub all of the dialogue and sound effects in the movie. Each actor had to completely re-do their verbal performance. It felt like remaking the entire movie. The result made the film especially un-naturalistic (which pleased me at the time) and it turned out far better than I think Brian and I expected.

By then, I had some hopes that The Lion’s Den could reach a small audience. It is aggressively philosophical but also features a love triangle, a car chase and a final shootout. Its comic style, I was hoping, would attract people who were put off by the purposeful flatness of Annunciation. Nevertheless, the movie was also rejected from every conceivable festival. I now realized that submitting an aggressively experimental narrative film without a single famous person in it to festivals is basically like flushing your money down the toilet. Yet I continued submitting, like an addict at a casino putting all of their savings on the roulette table. You never know, right?

In hindsight, I now see The Lion’s Den as a very angry film that perhaps uses comedy to soften the blow of some of its hotheaded fervor, and suspect some of its critique of capitalism and naturalism came from hurt and jealousy. “You think my work isn’t natural enough, eh? I’ll show you motherfuckers naturalism!”

Sometime in 2017, to my surprise I became smitten with certain neo-neorealist filmmakers (Joe Swanberg, in particular) and decided I wanted in on the mumblecore party, albeit from my own outsider perspective. I began to see how I could work symbolically with naturalistic performances, which led me to my latest film. PVT Chat is by no means a work of strict realism, but nevertheless focuses on believable dramatic performances. The film’s cast blends some actors from my past work (Kevin Moccia, Nikki Belfiglio, David White) with some heroes of the modern neo-neorealist indie cinema (Peter Vack, Julia Fox, Buddy Duress, Keith Poulson).

I want to end with a bit of advice to other filmmakers: Don’t put your self-worth into the hands of festival reviewers or distributors. The future of the moving image will belong to the films that are willing to risk cinematic failure. If you make an earnest film that doesn’t behave like a normal movie, I want to see it, even if it is full of technical or narrative mistakes (which it most likely will be). There’s no right way to make a movie. Follow the dream of the caméra-stylo and make a film that if nobody else made, wouldn’t exist.

[thanksjro]

Spotlight: Orion Pax - Because Hasbro was Getting Antsy About Their Golden Boy Having Faffed Off into Space

Oho, you thought we were done with Optimus Prime, did you?

You fools.

This is Transformers- we’re legally obligated to have Optimus Prime in some form or fashion running around at all times. This is just Hasbro catching up.

Fun fact: this was published on December 12th, 2012!

Our issue opens up with Orion Pax strapped to the top of a shuttle that’s careening towards a city.

But that’s the hook, so we won’t get to see what that’s all about just yet. No, first we’ve got to see just what all led to this point.

Earlier in the day, Orion Pax got refitted with a hot new bod, courtesy of Wheeljack, and now he’s showing off his new look to historical constant Rung and Kaput, who are here to assist in acclimation.

This is Kaput’s first appearance in the comics, but it’s not his first entry into the IDW continuity. He was introduced in the  Last Stand of the Wreckers prose story Bullets, where he diagnosed Ironfist with dead, in so many words. Kaput’s here currently because he specializes in sparks, and he’s going to make sure that Orion’s doesn’t explode in his chest thanks to the frame change. No word on whether the wheel was something he came into the world with or a modification.

But enough medical nonsense, let’s see the star of the show.

That’s not how reflections work!

Orion’s first point of contention is the fact that his lucky faceplate is missing. Wheeljack replaced it with a proper face, because that’s the new hotness right now. I guess when you’re a race of space robots who can change their bodies the way humans change their clothes, fashion is a lot more work. I wonder if faces out out of vogue in the present- there’s a lot of guys without one on the Lost Light.

Rung offers Orion some reading materials to help him cope with the sudden change, but it isn’t necessary. Orion fully intends to switch back to his old bod after his mission is over.

If you couldn’t tell by this point, this whole “frame change” thing is a plot contrivance to explain away some of the design clashing between comics set during this time period.

This is Zeta.  

Yes, really, they’re the same guy. I don’t think Senator Shockwave would have had him modified for Matrix carrying if he’d known how tacky he was going to be about it.

Zeta Prime seems to think that haute couture is exploding a Galapagos turtle and then strapping the smoking remains to your back.

Zeta leads Orion over to where Nightbeat’s waiting with a slideshow he spent hours on. Nightbeat, at the time of this story, is a hostage negotiator, and today his mission, as well as Orion’s, is to retrieve our beloved Ratchet from a Decepticon terrorist cell hiding somewhere in the Rust Spot. The Rust Spot’s some heavy duty danger, hence the reformat for Orion.

They’ll also be bringing on Alpha Trion, #1 Rust Spot navigator, philosopher, polymath, polyglot, historian, and all-around grandpa.

His beard gets a D+, however.

Note the quotation marks on “he” here; it looks like even Roberts was sick of the Furmanism that is “genderless robots that all appear to be male”. We’ll get more into that sticky situation later on. What I want to focus on right now is our artist for the issue, Steve Kurth.

Kurth is from Wisconsin, and doesn’t have a ton of pencil credits to his name in the Transformers franchise. He mostly does work for Marvel, and while it appears his art blog hasn’t been updated in a few years, the publishing company still has a tag for him. He’s done the Avengers, if that’s your thing.

Anyway, so nobody knows who’s in the back.

I gotta say, Alpha Trion, you got some brass fucking balls to insinuate that the cops forgot to put the hostage tradeoff in the trailer, in front of said cops.

The fellas transform and roll out, Orion pulling the trailer because anything else would be blasphemy, as Alpha Trion guides them to the meet up point. As they drive, the old man regales the young whippersnappers with his tales of friendship and adventure alongside Metroplex the Titan. They were, like, best friends. Seriously.

Storytime gets interrupted however, as our heroes are attacked from beyond the mists.

You know, when I was a kid, my mom had a car that looked exactly like Nightbeat here, paint job and all.

Alpha Trion got so wrapped up in blathering away, he forgot to mention that they were in Slicer territory, and might want to be on the lookout. Thanks, Alpha, way to be a pal.

Nightbeat refers to the creatures as “throwbacks”, something that’s never elaborated on, but I’m going to guess it means something along the lines of being primitive, or perhaps animalistic.

Holy fucking shit, that’s terrifying.

These awful things start swarming Orion, Nightbeat, and Alpha Trion, who all start punching and shooting with wild abandon, making short work of the mass. Orion gets a few paper cuts for his troubles, but they’re all more or less alright.

The trailer can’t say quite the same though; the door’s popped off, and the contents have either escaped or never existed in the first place.

Schrodinger wept.

Alpha Trion pulls the prisoner out of the fog… and then so does Nightbeat.

It’s a two-for-one sale at the Hostage Emporium.

Rack and Ruin haven’t really done anything to warrant being worth a whole entire Ratchet, so Orion decides to have a little chat and see what’s up.

Oh, that’s what Nightbeat meant by Ruin being the ugly one.

Orion’s chat reveals these two chumps to be even bigger losers than they first appeared to be- their only talent seems to be instantaneous conversion, which involves shutting off all the safety protocols for one’s transformation cog for a faster switch.

Orion switches trains of thought, asking about the Decepticon cause and its whole deal. This is a bit after the events of the heist, so the rhetoric has become a bit more violent by this time, and he wants to know what the hell happened.

But there’s no time for philosophic musing, because that’s when the Decepticons show up. Thundercracker escorts our group to the hideout to meet Bludgeon, and the exchange is made, albeit with a pro bono thrown in.

Well, shit.

This was why the Decepticons wanted to meet in the Rust Spot; because they knew only Alpha Trion would be able to guide the cops to the tradeoff point. But what are they going to do with robot grandpa? Why, use him to find Metroplex, of course!

There’s a rumor that Titans have the capabilities to create space bridges inside them- we as the reader know this to be true thanks to the 2012 MTMTE Annual, but let’s not tell Bludgeon about all that, yes?

Orion, please, this is hardly the time.

Luckily for Alpha Trion, Orion stuffed some guns into the bottom of the trailer, as is made apparent when he starts throwing them to his buddies. Why he and Nightbeat weren’t carrying any weapons on their person isn’t addressed, but at least the idea here is kind of cool.

Alpha Trion  easily escapes his bonds, because a noose isn’t really worth much to a species that doesn’t breathe and can literally survive not having a head.

We are just laying it on THICK today, aren’t we?

Rack and Ruin lead the other not-Decepticons into the tunnels towards safety- not sure how exactly, considering they’ve got their sensory deprivation helmets back on- as Orion Pax is dogpiled into submission.

Bludgeon might need a hobby. Might I suggest jigsaw puzzles?

Orion’s about to hit the loop that was created by the first page of this issue, so he tries to stall for time to think of a way out of all this. He halfway succeeds, in that he gets a little more time, but doesn’t come up with anything. Down on the ground, all his friends watch the shuttle shoot into the sky, probably wondering what all that’s about.

Bludgeon was aiming for this shuttle to hit a populated area, but it would appear that he’s an idiot and overshot by a wide margin. Cool beans.

Ah wait, we still have another three pages of story to this.

Hey, y’all remember Hoist’s tragic backstory, where he wandered the Rust Spot alone until he almost died of exhaustion?

Yeah, that was Orion’s fault.

The Fault of Our Star, if you will.

(I’ve never read anything written by John Green, what the hell am I doing?)

Because he just bounced off the underside of Hoist’s shuttlecraft, Orion’s hurtling towards the downtown section of Iacon, which is absolutely a populated area and exactly what Bludgeon was going for. Orion’s going to have to think fast if he’s going to get out of this one. Good thing Rack and Ruin told him their super secret transformation technique.

Thinking quickly, Orion transforms into a truck, breaks his bonds, somehow manages to not fly off the side of the shuttle due to wind pressure, transforms back to root mode, shuts off the autopilot, slams into a wide open field just outside of town, and survives well enough to be more concerned about Wheeljack being mad he scuffed up his new body than his own safety. Good on you, Orion! You saved the day!

To celebrate, he takes an old hubcap or something and shoves it over his face, because I guess only he gets to know how he’s feeling.

Don’t look at me like that, it’s not my fault the story just kind of ends here.

[crystalelemental]

“kisant: I also think that if they combined 6+7 they should update the mechanics around supports and child units. Honestly, I don't think 7's supports should have been as restricted as they were in the first place, because I also missed on lore to focus on getting the pairing I wanted. A way to update the games for a remake would be to simply add more child characters in Roy's game, change Karla's recruitment to happen earlier in the game (there are other arenas before the one she appears in) and allow for platonic supports as well as romantic supports, because only being allowed to get one A support and one B support was pretty shitty. For characters like Rath, they could also add more female supports for him with existing characters.  After all, shadows of valentia also added supports between characters (there were none in the original game) and a ton of new mechanics, so a 6+7 remake should also update those.”

This is going to be a somewhat subjective take, but we are operating on entirely different wavelengths, because everything about this is exactly what I think is the worst possible outcome.

Let me start with a statement I have made before and will make again and again until I die: infinite supports are not inherently good.  I think Three Houses proved they can (mostly) be done well, but infinite supports cause you to lose things that finite supports have going for them that don’t often get acknowledged.  A big one just being a streamlined gaming experience and adding replay value.  Infinite supports don’t encourage doing anything different at any point when combined with the free battle system.  You just take like 10 hours out of your life to try and fill out to log, mindlessly beating unthreatening maps that just kind of exist for the sake of doing this exact thing.  Finite supports may mean you have to replay the game to get a different chain, but you don’t slow down your current playthrough to unlock them (unless you’re farming support by ending turn on a seize the throne map, which wasn’t the intended method anyway), and you now have a reason to play through the game again to get something different.  That hidden lore is meant to be hidden, it’s something you stumble upon in a later playthrough when you decide to go for Canas and Renault’s supports, as opposed to their other options.  There was something worth replaying the game for.  “Customizable kid units add replay value” I’ll get to that.

The other thing that’s lost is consistency.  I’ve been on and off replaying Birthright lately, and one thing that still stands out as a problem is that, with infinite supports, nothing ever comes of those supports.  When you have a character like, say, Oboro, whose main thing is hating Nohrians, and a bunch of her supports with Nohrian characters is about overcoming that, it kinda lessens the significance when you hit that A-support and she seems to have learned that lesson, only to start up the next C-support and be right back where you were before, as if nothing happened.  Three Houses also has this problem, I feel, at least when it comes to romance.  You have all these A-supports that end with shades of romance, and then you can just...not have their paired ending.  Getting a heartfelt moment that’s shared between the two characters, and then having each go on to have similar heartfelt moments with like four other romantic options, kinda cheapens the value of their dynamic.  Finite supports don’t have this problem.  When you limit supports, that A-support matters, and the fact that there’s variety aside from romance for baby purposes makes them more meaningful.

Look at Awakening, where this problem started.  Look at how vast that support log is, and tell me how much of it was meaningful, as opposed to empty joke supports or a desperate struggle to come up with a reason these characters are married now.  You have a character like Cordelia, who is decisively not over Chrom at all, marrying literally anyone but him, and you have to just deal with that throughout supports.  Or Tharja, who is obsessed with Robin but can marry other people because kid necessity, even though most of the time she barely has feelings for them at all.  Even with supports that are romantic, you get shit like Sumia just baking Chrom pies over and over and that’s enough for romance.  There’s no depth.  Awakening doesn’t have much in the same vein as Eliwood and Ninian or Nino and Jaffar.  And the reason?  Quantity over Quantity is the name of the game with kid units.

Awakening and Fates are too busy making customization for the kids that they forgot to make sufficiently meaningful supports.  It’s so severe that even the good pairings suffer.  Chrom and F!Robin is widely considered the most canon pairing, and even they have an entire support level dedicated to a joke about how Chrom walked in on her in the bath one time.  Supports suffer when you’re forcing a child system that demands variety, so adding more children characters and more support options to make children characters is going to mean support quality takes a hit.

Not to mention, again, how much that hinders the characters.  “We need more kid characters for Binding Blade, because that game didn’t have enough characters yet!  Quick, make Priscilla have a kid!”  So now, instead of the interesting dynamic she had where she rejects every possible love interest, we have to either re-write that A-support to be reciprocated (boring) or add in another S-support where she reverses that decision (stupid).  “Bartre needs to have Fir, better add other options!”  Cool, so we’re just tossing the whole aspect of Karel being her uncle, which is something explored and explained in Binding Blade.  Like why should Bartre talk to Karel at all if he didn’t marry his sister?  Oops, I guess it’s fine, we’ll just get rid of that touching moment of Bartre apologizing to him for her death.  Not like that was a great moment for character building, we have kids to make!  “We need Rath to have more options than just Lyn, let’s include Isadora as an option!”  Great!  Now the character who doesn’t have other romance options because she’s in love with Harken and believes he’ll return to her one day suddenly has the ability to just drop that aspect of her character entirely for the sake of making babies.  Like imagine turning her support with Legault from just an amicable thing where he’s reminiscent about the old Black Fang and feels the current army is comfortable around to go “Actually it was all because I want to make babies with you.”  Lame as hell.

And double lame because it removes the fact that he’s kinda flirting with Heath.  Sure, Heath isn’t reciprocating, but like...one of the nice things about Three Houses was that it could include gay pairing ending cards, because there were no kids.  You could have things like Petra and Dorothea, or Marianne and Hilda, and that’s just treated as an equally valuable and reasonable outcome.  All of that is dead instantly upon introducing kids, because you need multiple parent options or the system falls apart and stagnates.  And in making a wide enough variety of options, there’s just no room to leave a character with their gay pairing.  It just isn’t something they’d bother to include when the focus is on making children characters, so say goodbye to that.

There’s just...no good outcome with kids.  I like the Awakening kids, but ultimately it’s just not a good tradeoff with the current approach in Fire Emblem.  Genealogy kinda made it work, but only because that game didn’t even have supports.  I want the remake to include supports to develop people’s personalities, but I’m honestly worried they won’t come out that well because of the fixation on children.  Echoes added supports too, but like...okay, yeah, how well did those go?  Which ones do you really remember?  Because mostly fandom seems to remember Faye’s because of how much they hated hers, and maybe Genny and Sonya because it was cute.  Almost everything else often gets forgotten anyway.  So not exactly a great example on the benefits of adding a bunch of supports to a game that already had a strong system.

I know they’re going to add unlimited supports, though.  I know they will, because that’s been the way of things since Awakening.  I want to believe that, because they held true to a lot of the mechanics of Gaiden with Echoes, that they’ll do the same with the Elibe games.  But they won’t.  I just...really hope they don’t combine the games, because knowing that, there is absolutely no positive outcome for a combo game given the demands of a child system.

[hereticaloracles]

Lunar Eclipse in Cancer: Day of Destiny

“Do not be dismayed by the brokenness of the world. All things break. And all things can be mended. Not with time, as they say, but with intention. So go. Love intentionally, extravagantly, unconditionally. The broken world waits in darkness for the light that is you.” ―L.R. Knost

Helios’ Astrological Angle on the Lunar Eclipse in Cancer– Here we are, Heretics- on the brink of chaos, an eclipse to rival any other, in a year where fate hangs heavy around our necks like an anchor. What else is new, right? The world still turns, regardless of who is in power, and whether or not we are here to mark its turnings. We lived through the Cardinal Crisis and Mutable Meltdown, and all that came after… all of that feels like so long ago. Things felt more important and desperate then, so much bigger. Now everyone I talk to is just tired. So tired. And that is fair- you’re allowed to be exhausted right now. Eclipses have this way of sucking everything out of you. What you are going through is valid.

And this isn’t just any eclipse, no ma’am- we’re also under the first act of the triple conjunction of Jupiter, Saturn, and Pluto. This part is just Pluto and Saturn, Jupiter will come in later in the year, but that’s the big headline. This is the time we’ve been preparing for. This is it. You already know it, deep in you- this is what you’ve been struggling for, this is the reason. More than that you know that this is your time; Time to step up and own who you are, and show us all what you’ve got.

Are you ready? Cause you’re up, Heretics. Let’s see what you can do!

The Sun and Moon, Mercury, and Saturn– Yes, it feels like the world is ending and everything that you have built is falling down around you. Accept that- but it does no good wailing and moaning about it, wringing your hands in consternation. Your choice with this Astro is to fully stand in your own personal power and accept the burden of changing the world to suit your vision or to own your impotence and accept that you cannot stop the worst of what can come; so you must, therefore, shrink your focus to what is under your purview and within your control. Both come with downsides, and neither can be chosen for you. Whichever story you tell yourself right now will be true, whether it is one where you are weak or powerful.

Not only are the stories we tell ourselves important right now but so are the secrets we keep. Eclipses have a way of revealing truths that you might prefer to stay hidden. These will be your Achilles heel right now. My advice would be to disclose what you can and make it so that what you can’t disclose will never ever come to light by any means. This will be uncomfortable for a lot of you, and is not an easy thing to ask- but this is not easy Astro, and it’s more of a demand by the cosmos than them asking nicely. You were given time to come to this of your own volition, but you didn’t, and now your time is up. The goal here is liberation so that you are not held back by anyone or anything. You think that hiding your secrets makes you safe but all it does is make you a slave to them. This is your chance to disclose them before you are exposed.

Minor Planets used: Ceres, Juno, Eris, Arawn, Deucalion, Borasisi, Rhiphonos, Hebe, Arachne, Sphinx

Venus and Pluto– Okay so here’s the thing: You need to choose. You’ve been torn between two very different paths in your life. You are drawn to both of them and both have merit- but here’s the thing, your heart cannot serve two masters. Your choice must be made from the heart, and the hard part is that you are emotionally invested in both paths- but you must choose. You will need to make your choice never knowing if the choice you made was the right one, and you will have to make it knowing that you are actively choosing not to pursue an entire life. There will be an entire version of yourself you are saying no to. This has its consequences, but it may come as a relief to some. In choosing, you will be free of an entire life, its trappings and consequences. Let your choice release you, and boldly go into your new life, unfettered and unafraid.

Minor Planets used: Pallas Athene, Sedna, Hygiea, Hidalgo, Narcissus

Mars, Jupiter, Chiron, and Uranus– With all of this heavy fatalistic Astro in the air, what can you actually DO about any of it? Quite a lot, actually. This is a time for you to show what you are made of, and you can’t do that by bitching and moaning, talking about how much better things would be if they were different. Things are NOT different, they are what they are. Start there and go forward, taking action that gets you from where you are now to where you want to be. Define your goals, and take action to get there. This is major Astro that can help you overcome just about any obstacle in your path, but it has to start with you. Heaven helps those who help themselves, after all- and the more you do on that front, the more that you will find this Astro a ready and willing ally. You are not alone, but you have to walk your path. The only one who can live your life is you. Nothing is set in stone or decided yet, you are still able to change the narrative- but your window to do so is closing. Act now.

Minor Planets used: Varuna, Quaoar, Rhadamanthus, Pholus, Nessus, Aphidas, Klotho, Ophelia, Niobe, Tantalus, Astraea, Magdalena, Siva, Sisyphus, Orpheus, Asclepius

Neptune– The malaise is thick and heavy, and it’s coming from him, y’all. Neptune is the backdrop of the eclipse and he is dragging it all DOWN, yet simultaneously making it bearable. That is the tradeoff with him. So on top of EVERYTHING ELSE, you are going to feel super sluggish and lackadaisical. That, and you’re going to be confronted with serious questions of worth and fulfillment- mostly of if what you’re doing right now is providing you with a sense of fulfillment and self-worth. Are you living your path right now? Are you aligned to your truth? Are you willing to let go of what isn’t aligned, even if it hurts you or others to do so? How far are you willing to go to find your path if you’ve lost your way?

More importantly, in getting lost, have you been able to find others that were similarly off their path? Have you been able to help them find their way as well? The true point of this astro is to bring us home to ourselves, in our truest selves. No one gets left behind- least of all you, Heretics.

Minor Planets used: Mors-Somnus, Dziewanna, Iris, Burney

Lunar Eclipse in Cancer: Day of Destiny was originally published on Heretical Oracles

[escapingburger]

Final Fantasy XV Discovered: Closing Down

Last time, I wrote quite a bit about how open Final Fantasy XV is, though I'd heard rumblings of changes in the latter part of the story. And sure enough, not long after, the game took that last post and stuck a huge asterisk on it. Forty-five hours in, I reached chapter 10.

Does this sound familiar? This is how I started my post on Final Fantasy XIII's Gran Pulse, because FF15's approach to its late game is basically the inverse of the earlier title. Where FF13 was an entirely linear experience that suddenly opened up many hours in, FF15 is a wide-open experience that suddenly narrows down. Most of the game offers tremendous freedom and more sidequests than I knew what to do with, but the later chapters are surprisingly directed, guiding you from one challenge or plot point to the next. A primary conceit up to this point is that you're on a road trip, with all the independence that implies, but you spend a good chunk of the later game literally on rails, riding a train along a fixed route to a predetermined destination.

This is a big change, and honestly, it was kind of hard to make sense of at first. I wondered if, like FF13's general linearity or Xenogears's infamous second disc, this was a result of resource pressures during development. The game took ten years to make, after all; perhaps the only way to finally get it out the door was to cut an overambitious second half down to the minimum needed to tell the story. If so, the result isn't actually that bad; there's way more actual game here than Xenogears ended up with, and I definitely prefer an experience that's mostly open to one that's mostly not like FF13.

But as I got further, I became less sure that development time alone was the reason for this. It may have still contributed, but I came to realize that there are actually some very legitimate design reasons for taking the game in this direction. The thing is, once you reach this part of the game, you really start to see big changes in the characters, the plot, and the world. There are major developments before this point, of course, but they're somewhat limited in just how much they can affect without disturbing the open world too much. In a game like this, where you can go wherever you want and take on most quests in whatever order you choose, it becomes more difficult to fit in the sorts of twists that usually punctuate a Final Fantasy plot. It would be hard to justify, say, cutting off access to certain sidequests just because they no longer make sense in the story. By taking the late game out of the open world, Square Enix can essentially do whatever they want with the plot, without worrying about how it perturbs everything else. It's notable that things get a lot darker after this point, culminating in some pretty huge changes to the setting and characters.

What I think we're seeing here is the tension between Final Fantasy XV's new approach as a go-anywhere, do-anything open world game, and the traditional, story-heavy Final Fantasy experience. It's significant that the open world doesn't actually go away, even when the story can no longer support it; you're able to jump back when you want, but it's presented as a return to the past, before all the big stuff happened. It's almost like you're playing two games at this point: The wide-open one you started with, whose plot is frozen in time, and the focused, narrative one that doesn't try to maintain that level of freedom. It feels like the developers ultimately couldn't make a full-fledged FF story work in such an open environment, so they decided to have it both ways.

It can feel a bit weird, especially at first, but in the end I do think this approach more or less works. I appreciated the story developments that wouldn't have been possible otherwise, and I'm glad I could always go back for sidequests and whatnot that I'd missed. I do think the game would feel more cohesive if they'd managed to keep the story and world more integrated, but the tradeoffs there--Cut back on plot developments? Make the world smaller so it can change more?--may not be worth it. I'm curious to see what the next Final Fantasy is like, though, assuming they stick with the open world design. Final Fantasy XV did a great job with it overall, I think, but there are a lot of lessons to learn here that could make the next game even better. If this is the start of a new approach to the series, I'm actually pretty eager to see where it goes.

Not Done Yet I've actually finished Final Fantasy XV, sort of--I beat the boss and saw the credits, which in the earlier series would mean that it's time to move on. But with several DLC episodes and a multiplayer expansion, there's still quite a bit to do. I'll be a little busy with some trips in the near future, but expect one more post on this game, coming a bit later.

[6ad6ro]

let's talk about this idea of incels for a sec. i'm gonna do my best to not make a single insulting remark here. and i'm oversimplifying gender and sexuality like crazy since incels tend to be cis men. so anyways incels are ppl (men) who wanna have sex, but believe women just won't let them, right? they feel somehow their personalities make them incompatible with girls. okay.

most ppl? just view that rejection as a period of loneliness rather than defining themselves by it. when you grow up, you realise that most ppl want romantic partners. or at least an emotionally comparable variant. it's rly not hard to meet ppl. you just get out there. be nice n considerate. honest. accept things don't always work out and realise it's not the world against you. you just keep looking. meet people and let things happen naturally.

TLDR: incels are just toxic, extremist versions of the guys who used to bring up "friendzoning", and fz was never real. girls don't actually have an easier time dating than guys. it isn't women doing this to you, but rather the fault of patriarchy and the dudes in charge. you can change! just stop with this silliness because it's making things way worse for you!

i'm not particularly attractive, especially now that i'm older. i don't have a lot of money. i'm rly not interesting. i have a ton of personality baggage and flaws. hell, i'm agoraphobic and sorta like a western hikikomori. it's rly hard for me to meet people even online. and yet, when i DO get out there? i wind up in relationships or flings or flirty friendships. bc that's just how it works.

you have to meet ppl and develop a relationship to have... the physical parts of a relationship. life isn't porn. or harem anime. people have brains and feelings. and everybody has preferences. that person who you think is perfect for you? maybe they just weren't looking for someone like you. it isn't cruel of them to have their own opinions.

i mean honestly i don't think a single one of you incels would fuck just anybody. you guys have preferences too. are you sure if you didn’t open your eyes a bit wider that you couldn’t find someone? bc there are tons and tons of lonely ppl out there! the majority of ppl, actually. it's insane how many ppl are out there, right at this moment, who wish they had a sexual partner. go find them! be willing to have broader preferences! stop looking for someone who is "perfect" and look for someone who you can just be happy with!

okay so fine you say "well i'm ugly from societies standards". but... then why are you going after people who follow society's standards. as someone who constantly feels outcast in your life, shouldn’t that experience SHOW you that popular societal opinions are mostly frivolous? standards of beauty are fake? so if someone rejects you purely on that front (and this is a stretch bc everyone has valid personal pref), why isn't that a GOOD thing to you!? you aren't wasting your time on someone who harshly judges you based on unimportant things! you're filtering incompatible ppl out that way! it's all very natural.

okay lastly... i'm gonna bring up a part that could make me look bad. but i wanna be rly honest here. so women? do seem like they have an easier time meeting men. SEEM is the key word here, bc they actually don't. not really.

but girls who are willing to severely fall into the gender roles that patriarchal society forces upon them? yeah. they do. as long as they're fairly "attractive". and willing to spend a ton of time TRYING to be attractive. ESP if they're a bit aggressive themselves. thanks to awful patriarchy, typical gender roles have men chasing women like predators after prey. i won't get into ALL the extensive, rapey issues that involves bc that isn't my point here.

tho i mean how is that any different than a guy doing similar role stuff like "working out/making money/acting cool"?? if you really wanna meet the kinds of girls who fall into typical gender roles, you gotta do the same thing? i don't think this will make ppl happy... but if you wanna play games with ppl, you gotta play within the same dumb rules!

but back to my point, girls that let themselves be chased easily find themselves with guys more often. bc in patriarchy typically the guy has to initiate. girls like that are being reactive. so from a naive male perspective, it can look like "they get any guy they want". no. they're just saying yes to the guys they like of whatever pool of guys who are going after them. if they aren't chasing guys directly, how can they be directly rejected out of the gate?

let's look at it this way: a guy chases after 20 girls he kinda likes over a few years. 5 respond positively back. it prob seems like he only has 25% success w women and is usually failing, right? whereas a girl gets hit on by 20 guys over the same period, but says yes to 5 of them. so she's getting an "100% success rate" there, since she only wanted that 5. she wasn't chasing anyone. to guys it looks like they WORK for women, but women just win the lottery with guys? no. absolutely wrong. that is objectively incorrect.

you aren't incorporating all the guys they rly want. or how often they just "go with it". how often do you hear stories of girls wanting a guy and winding up w their friend instead? girls actually typically play within a pool of disappointment rather than chasing ideals. it's not literally disappointment tho? it's just being realistic. they play with the cards they're dealt.

there are TONS of girls who don't wanna spend so much of their lives playing that game tho. who DON'T wanna live within the confines of being a trophy. or if they aren't naturally lucky enough to be "pretty" by default, who aren't willing to spend 75% of their day compensating for that. those girls? aren't surrounded by guys. often single. often lonely until they get older and find someone they're mutually compatible with. bc that's another thing most guys don't see?

the only girls "worth" going after are the "appealing/easy" prey. or "white whales" where they just hope they'll get lucky. men aren't aggressively going after the chubby girl who wears reg clothes and doesn't actively try to look "sexy". they aren't drawn to girls who aren't giving them that playful "come get me" attitude. to them, they see that girl as "just a friend". or a " last resort". or "maybe a lesbian". it's fucking gross.

you might be like "well i know girls like that who have TONS of sex so"... have you seen the levels of desperation stereotypically "unattractive" girls like that have to stoop too? let me tell you, i meet these girl's bf and they're often total scumbags. they're scraping the bottom if the barrel. are you sure these girls haven't stooped to total desperation due to so many years of being overlooked when they acted normally? or ask yourself, were they ever TRULY "unattractive/unappealing" in the first place? u sure you don't just have weird standards??

btw can i point out? the tradeoff? the utter lack of power and choice girls have in this system? girls have to be born pretty and actively attractive with a sexy personality at all times. guys just need to have a moderate amount of money and be occasionally considerate. girls have to be sex objects whereas guys can be just people. bald, fat, somewhat unattractive guys are seen as normal but if a girl looked like that? she'd be perceived as a monster.

as a male working within gender roles you have the freedom to go after as many girls as you want without issue or disrespect. nobody is gonna call you a "slut" for trying to meet many girls. the list goes on and on. why are you mad at girls when you were "born winning"? you are more likely to live a happier life being alone than a girl would constantly being with someone. you should be grateful you aren't them... not mad at them.

but anyways... all this stuff? is super gross. weird toxic shit. it makes sense you would be lonely and angry when you don't wanna play by these rules. or change yourself to be more "appealing". but... why are you getting mad at girls?!?!? why blame women?? shouldn't you be mad at the source? patriarchy. society. gender roles. capitalism. look at who's running the show. bc it isn't the women you're mad at. or "the sjws". it's men in power.

you're seeing your lawn die in the summer sun and getting mad at the grass for daring to dry out. so you go out and stomp on the lawn. instead of using that anger and that energy to water it or give it shade. what are you thinking!? use that "logic" you guys are so proud of and actually try and solve the issue instead of throwing a moral temper tantrum. you talk about girls "bein so overly emotional" but what the heck do you think you're doing here right now?? stop trying to find an easy cheat solution and FIX the problem!

nobody should resort to violence about this stuff, but if you WERE gonna get violent, why isn't it at the people who structured your sexual prison? rather than the girls you wanna convince to fuck you? do you really want a world where girls fuck you out of fear? bc that's rape. would YOU be happy being raped? don't wish for an even rapier world. don't be so stupid and naive. rapey patriarchy is the cause of all your issues to begin with. this is the exact opposite if what you want.

honestly this incel thing just seems like an extremist offshot of the old "friend zone" argument. very similar to how gamergate warped into literal alt-right nazis. it's gross and absurd and you depressed, confused guys are being manipulated. you aren't thinking. please seek therapy or a wider perspective? if you hate feeling lonely and ashamed, why would you wear that shame like a badge of honor? just stop. spread happiness instead and you'll start to receive it back. you can change! it's that simple! it's okay!!!

[corvid-knight]

Demon Eyes - chapter 6

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13740258/chapters/31757775

tw for violence/abuse in the first half of this chapter

This is a dream.

You know that.

You're aware that you're not really kissing her, her hands aren't on your waist and yours aren't on her shoulders. She's not giggling at you because your shades just smashed awkwardly into her round glasses and you're not trying to keep down a grin because it'll mess up the kiss. You're not really twelve years old, testing out a new experience with a friend just because you can and she wants to as much as you do.

It still feels real enough to be pleasant, even if you're one hundred percent aware that you're just reliving it through a dream; this one's more vivid, more real, than this kind of thing should be. You can feel her shaking with pent-up laughter—this isn't her first kiss even if it is yours; she knows that you don't have a fucking clue what you're doing—taste bruised mint in her mouth. It's good. It feels real, and it doesn't feel real at all, but it feels amazing.

This is a good dream, you think hazily, still caught up in the happening-right-now memory of soft lips on yours.

Then the door behind you slams open, and before you can even pull back from her, Bro's hand winds into the back of your shirt and jerks you back from her. Just like the kissing seemed real, so does the burn of your shirt getting yanked up around your neck, not quite strangling you.

Yet.

He doesn't say a word, and when you try to say something—anything that'll mollify him at least a little—he twists his hand up in your collar, tightening it around your throat. His other hand grips a handful of your hair, pulling you mostly to your feet so he can fucking drag you out.

Shit. Shit. It's going to be bad. It's going to be so bad. You know that and you don't question why you know it; at some point, you forgot that this is a dream. As far as you're concerned, it's real right now.

"Bro—"

"Shut it," he growls quietly, letting go of your hair for just a second to shut the door behind himself. You can't stop yourself from gasping in relief, then whimpering again when his hand comes back up to get ahold of your hair again. "The fuck did you think you were doing?"

He lets go of your shirt as he asks the question, spinning you around and shoving you up against the wall. There's tears that you don't dare let fall in your eyes, both from him strangling you with your shirt and the fact that he's yanking you around by the hair. You're sure that you'll find blood at the white roots later, with how hard he's pulling.

"I didn't—"

His forearm slams down on your throat and cuts off every bit of air. You don't dare struggle against him, but you can't breathe. "Like hell you didn't! You know I'm not fuckin' blind, lil' man—you calling me an idiot?"

He eases up enough for you to speak. "No—Bro—"

But that's as far as he lets you get. Yes, he moves and his arm's abruptly not on your throat, but since he slams his fist into your diaphragm hard enough to make you cough and retch at the sick pain anyway, it's not a good tradeoff. "What, then? You sayin' you weren't making out with her? Is that what you're saying?"

Two more blows, one for emphasis and one at the end of the sentence. You can taste blood, but you know that it's just from where you bit your tongue.

"I'm sorry—"

He hits you again for that, an openhanded slap across your face that leaves you seeing stars. It hurts a little less than the punches to your stomach. "Fuck your sorry. What are you?"

"I—I—" I don't know what you want! That's what you want to tell him. His arm presses against your windpipe before you can say anything.

"You're a fucking hunter." His face is only a few inches from yours and his shades are crooked; you can see the gleam of amber eyes as he snarls out the words. "That shit's nothing but a distraction for you, do you hear me, Dave? You're a hunter—you stay away from girls, you stay away from guys, you stay away from everyone but me, do you hear me?" This time he yanks upward on your hair for emphasis, and you try to yelp despite the pressure on your throat. That just makes him bear down harder, cutting off even the little bit of air you were managing to get. "Disobey me again and you'll wish you'd never been born, lil' man, are we fuckin' clear here?"

He finally lets up enough for you to gasp and cough and force out a shaky, "Y-yes, Bro."

For whatever reason, that answer makes his brow furrow, and you know, you know that you fucked this up worse than it already was, he isn't done, he's going to—

Enough. Enough, Dave.

It's a thought, and you're not the one thinking it.

Yeah. Exactly. Wake up. Open your eyes and look at me.

Your eyes are open. You're staring at Bro.

Wait.

You close your eyes. This is a dream, you think. And then you open your eyes, your actual eyes, the ones attached to your body instead of being a fucking construct of your fucked-up mind, and see a demon blinking slowly at you.

"Hey," Karkat says. One of his arms is wrapped around your shoulders, his hand rubbing lazy patterns into your back; the other's tangled in your hair, petting you like some kind of fucking cat. "That was a fucking awful dream."

"...yeah." Holy shit. You've got your arms wrapped around Karkat, lying on his chest like he's some kind of amazing living mattress, one leg hooked around his. You've never been this close to someone, not even Bro on the bad nights. His pulse beats through every contact you have with him, and it's making you dizzy. Well, something's making you dizzy.

I should get up, you think, but you've never been less sure of something in your life.

"You should stay right where you are," Karkat mumbles, letting his head fall back. "Unless you can come up with an actual fucking reason to move..."

"Can't think of anything." You drop your face onto his chest and breathe in, trying for a little more calm and somehow finding it despite the thoughts chasing each other through your head. The reason is that Bro would kill me for this...

"I believe that, unfortunately," he mumbles. You can feel his desire to tighten his grip on you, pull you further into his sphere of protection. If he does that, you willpanic and pull away, and he must know that, because what he actually does is huff out a sigh and keep finger-combing your hair. "How many times did he do that to you?"

"Just once, for that..." I should shut up. Instead, you roll your head towards his hand and keep talking. "He had...a lot of lessons like that for me. Didn't usually have to go over them more than once; couple cracked ribs're a really fucking good motivator to not make him wanna give me a refresher course."

"Fuck, Dave."

"Yeah. The kissing, it was—it was nice, but it wasn't worth that shit." Plus it was only about a year after that that he took off and left with me. Didn't have anybody to try anything with, after that.

"I'm sorry."

"Wish you weren't." Your mouth's on autopilot. Somehow you can't muster up enough energy to give a shit. If you're looking for answers about me, I guess you're gonna get them.

(Karkat heard that. You know he did; you saw his head tilt as he listened in.)

"Why?" is all he asks.

"Why?"

"Why do you wish I wasn't sorry?"

"It's not—you shouldn't—" The words tangle in your mouth, and you shake your head—not enough to dislodge his hand—and think at him instead. It'd be better if you didn't know. Can't be sorry for me if you don't know about that shit..

"I can't try to help you think around it instead of straight through it if I don't know about it, either." He shifts, the arm that was wrapped around you moving to prop his head up so he can look at you without having to strain so much.

For a moment you stay how you are, with your face against his chest, feeling his pulse even through his shirt. Then, when it becomes obvious that he's not going to say anything else until you look at him, you sigh and raise your head, folding one arm under your chin for support. "And you think you want to help me why,exactly?"

Karkat makes a sound deep in his chest, a soft vibration that's somewhere between a hum and a growl and feels different from either. "You put that like I don't really want to help you."

"Do you?" Fuck. Putting it like that makes it sound like I don't trust him. And you do trust him, or at least you trust him more than you can trust anyone else. Which is stupid, you've known him for three fucking days and he's a goddamn demon—

"Fuck yes I want to help you." Karkat's hand moves from your hair to the side of your face, fingers slowly brushing down from your temple to your cheek. "You asked me to, remember?"

Yeah. Almost forgot I owe you for that, too.

"Yesterday takes some of the debt away, though." He blinks, and you can't help but smile as that makes the patterns in his eyes break apart and reform, giving you a whole new microcosm to get lost in. "I got myself into a situation—not that I could fucking help it—and you did a fucking amazing job of getting us both clear of it, even if you were scared out of your mind."

"Was not," you protest reflexively, and the fact that he snorts out a chuckle surprises you.

"Yeah you were. I could feel it. I thought I was going to have to try to wake up, that's how bad it was." You can feel him shrug. "I don't fucking know if I couldhave woken up, but you were...really fucking scared."

"Shit." You shake your head—this time Karkat's hand does slip away, and you want to curse yourself—and look down, away from his face. "Sorry."

"Why?" He puts his hand under your chin—too close to my throat, you think, and at the same moment think, there's no way he'll hurt me—gently pulling you back up to meet his eyes. "Because you give a fuck about whether I'm okay or not? Are you really about to apologize for that?"

"No. For—I panicked, man, I should be able to not fucking lose it."

Another snort, and he rolls his eyes. "Your definition of 'losing it' and mine are very fucking different." You open your mouth to argue; he lays a finger across your lips. "Shush and listen to me. You did everything you needed to do. You didn't know what was happening—which is my fucking fault, I should have had enough sense to clue you in on how my powers work a little better—and you kept functioning anyway. I know a hell of a lot of people who can't do that shit, Dave."

"I still panicked."

"Yeah, and that sucked. But it doesn't change the fact that because of you we're on the way to see your hunters, instead of in jail somewhere."

"...I guess." When you go to press your face against Karkat's chest again, he lets you do it. Fuck, wait. I'm an idiot. "Didn't you tell me you were going to be hungry?"

"Oh, I am. But I don't know when the next time you'll lay down with me like this is going to be." He is fucking smirking when you look up at him again. "I wasn't going to tell you to get up and—"

"You smooth fucking idiot." You swat at his shoulder and roll off his chest, leaning over to unzip the tent's door. "There's food in the truck, c'mon." And if you really want me to keep using you as a mattress, I think I'd be more than okay with doing that.

He's tilting his head. You don't have to look to know that.

"...Dave."

"Yeah?" The fucking zipper is stuck.

"Be sure and tell me if you end up being not okay with me being your mattress." He lets you mess with the thing for a second, then nudges your hands aside and gets it loose himself, sitting back so you can exit first. "I think I'd be able to tell, but let me know if I don't back the fuck down when you need me to."

"Yeah." The bags of food are in the backseat of the truck; you lean in and grab two at random, turning to hand them to Karkat. Dunno if I could kick somebody out of bed with me, but you'll know if I want to, deal?

You don't miss his wince as he catches that thought from you, but he sure as hell doesn't hesitate in taking the bags and reaching into one. "Deal."

"Cool. There's more food if you eat all that—" You really don't think he will. "—and I'm gonna pack up. Unless I'm misreading the damn map, we should get to Dirk's place in maybe four or five hours."

Karkat's mouth is already full of what seems to be half a burrito, but he frees up one hand to give you a thumbs-up.

It takes you maybe five minutes to roll up and secure the sleeping bags, another five to get the tent disassembled, and fifteen to get the goddamn thing rolled small enough to fit back in the bag. You're muttering imprecations against whoever the fuck designed this stupid thing by the time you finally get the bag zipped and scoop everything up to drop it in the backseat. You have to move the one remaining half-full Taco Bell bag aside to do it—evidently you were wrong about how much Karkat was going to eat.

Speaking of Karkat.

He's in the front passenger seat with the door still open and his seat reclined halfway. Again, he looks asleep, but when you touch his shoulder his eyes open. "Eat something, Dave."

"Bossy."

"Hell yes I am." He growls when you shut his door and head around to the other side; by the time you finish buckling yourself in he's holding out a still-wrapped burrito. The scowl on his face suggests that you're not allowed to refuse it.

Instead, you ignore him and start the truck, backing up until you can pull out of the rest area. Amazingly, that tactic works...well, for maybe five minutes.

Then Karkat starts nudging at your wrist with the burrito, which he's unwrapped now, and you can't help but laugh. "You're a stubborn fucker, you know that?"

"Hey, it's a demon thing." In the second that you take your eyes off the road to grab the burrito out of his hand, you see his self-satisfied grin.

"Sure it is." If you had a hand free, you'd push your shades up so he could see you're rolling your eyes at him. Since you don't...time to improvise.

I'm rolling my eyes at you, asshole.

Even though he's already leaned back and closed his eyes again, Karkat laughs at that. "Of course you are," he says. "You're not going to get lost if I go to sleep for a couple hours, right?"

"Hell yeah, man. You got four hours before I wake you up, alright?"

"Mhm."

...is he asleep already?

You're pretty sure he is.