#to the dude who passive aggressively said warm ups are for kids | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

tuanhood · 4 years ago

Text

miss goody two shoes

pairing: drug dealer!bambam x reader

genre: smut, angst?

warnings: 18+, language, drug use/mention, fingering, dirty talk, public and unprotected sex.

word count: 6k+

summary: you want to prove to everyone you’re not the good girl they all think you are. your best friend’s drug dealer? perfect choice.

a/n: hello back with that smut everyone loves. this is unedited and quickly(ish) written so please don’t judge. it took me until 3:36am and two aperol spritzes to finish this SO. YAH.

“Do we really have to do this right now?” You asked your best friend, trying to keep up with him as you follow him through the city.

He stops for a moment and turns back to look at you as if you’ve just confessed to a murder, “y/n are you kidding me? Do you really think I can deal with an interaction with Gretchen not high?” Jae shook his head at you and continued walking forward.

“It’s just brunch! I doubt you’ll even interact that much!” You hated walking with him, because of his damn long legs. His strides were honestly too much for you.

Jae huffed in disagreement, “I need it regardless. Now come on, we’re almost there.”

When you had agreed to a brunch date with a few friends from college including your best friend, you hadn’t really thought meeting up with his drug dealer right before was a part of the plan. Sure, many of the people the two of you went to college with were insufferable, but for some reason whenever they’d reach out to you to make plans you would always find yourself saying yes and ultimately drag Jae along. He constantly told you that you were too nice.

Specifically, Gretchen – a girl who had lived across from you your second year of University – was the most difficult to deal with and usually her and Jae would end up in passive aggressive arguments that made everyone at the table uncomfortable. So, you guessed that if meeting Jae’s drug dealer was a part of making that issue vanish, so be it.

By the time of you reached a small park square in the middle of the city, you felt a burning in your legs from trying to keep up with Jae and crashed onto the first bench you see. He looked down at you massaging your legs and chuckled, “we barely walked a mile, calm down!”

Rolling your eyes, you looked up at him through your lashes, “easy for you to say. You’re not the one trying to keep up with a 7-foot giant.” He doesn’t reply, but simply snorted at your comment and looked down to check his phone, “when is your guy getting here? We’re going to be late if we wait here for too long and you know how that’s gonna be a whole thing if that happens.”

“Don’t worry, he’ll be here soon,” Jae assured you.

And sure enough, after a few moments you heard a loud “Dude!” leave your best friend’s mouth and looked up to see a man enter the park square. The man returned Jae’s enthusiastic welcome with outstretched arms as he walked towards the two you, giving Jae the “guy handshake” as soon as he’s in reach.

When he’s out of the handshake with your best friend, you begin to take in his features and were surprised by how much this guy didn’t look like a drug dealer. Most of the drug dealers you had seen or heard of had a casual style to them – hoodie, somewhat presentable and maybe on the weirdly older side. This guy was not that in any way shape or form. Everything about him screamed Paris fashion week and your brain was trying to process how this guy could be a drug dealer. Maybe he made that much money? Judging on the very expensive watch he was sporting and the Cartier ring on his middle index finger, you believed that it had to be the case.

“Y/N,” Jae said snapping you out of your thoughts, “this is Bam.”

You stood up from the bench and dusted yourself off, looking at the two men suspiciously, “Bam? Is that short for something?”

The dealer shrugged, “Bambam I guess.”

You can’t help but notice the way he scans you up and down, checking you out. You tell yourself he’s looking at you in an effort to feel you out and see if you’re a snitch or nark, but the nervous flip in your stomach tells you maybe it’s for a different reason.

As though Jae noticed the strange interaction between the two of you, he claps his hands loudly, “let’s get to it then, shall we?” Bambam simply nodded his head and fiddled with the clearly nonprescription glasses on his face, “Right… how much do you want?”

“An eighth should do.” Jae confimed.

Bambam began to reach into his bag and stops, “that’s it?”

Your best friend pursed his lips in thought, “actually if you have molly that could be good too. I’m supposed to be going to my stupid racist aunt’s wedding next weekend and it would be much better on something.”

Bambam shook his head sadly and clicked his tongue, “sorry man. There’s some music festival this weekend and all those stupid frat dudes wiped me clean on acid and molly. But I should be getting some more next week if you want to meet up again.” You swear when he says the words “meet up again” you see his eyes wander to yours, but as quickly as they’re there, they’re back on Jae.

You heard a groan leave Jae’s throat in annoyance, “whatever I’ll get through it sober, I guess. I’ll just take the weed then.” Bambam nods his head and hums, “cool.”

You watch as Bambam meticulously takes a small clear baggie out of his bag and places it inside of larger black sack, “I’ll throw in a free edible too, since you’re my number two customer and all,” Bambam laughs. The noise that leaves his mouth is almost melodic, and you can’t remember a time where someone’s laugh put you at ease. You felt a smile reach your face.

“What the fuck? I’m not number one?” Jae complained.

“Nah man, Mark’s got you beat there.”

Jae shook his head, “Fucking Tuan.”

Bambam and Jae laughed at his response as you stand there clueless as to who this Mark person was or why it was funny that he was Bambam’s number one customer. It’s when your eyebrows furrow and there’s a small frown on your face that Bambam’s gaze is once again fixated on you. “Does the pretty girl want anything?”

Before you can answer or react at Bambam calling you a pretty girl, Jae answers for you, “She doesn’t do this kind of stuff.” You roll your eyes annoyed at him just deciding what you do and what you don’t do. Just as you’re again about to open your mouth to speak, you’re cut off but this time by Bambam.

“Let her speak for herself man,” At that your heart warmed and you feel your face grow hot at how a drug dealer you barely know was treating you better than your own best friend. Bambam nods at you as if to go on and you felt yourself sputter your words out, “No… I mean he’s- well I guess he’s pretty much right. I don’t really like- um well do that stuff. Not that I have anything against it! I totally don’t! You know I’m like friends with the number one stoner in the area- or I guess number two since that Mark guy is number one? But anyways it’s just not for me so I- yeah so no… No drugs for me today.”

You feel yourself want to hide in a corner as you turn to see Jae with wide eyes and looking at you as if you should be in a mental institution. Somehow, you turned to face Bambam, expecting him to also categorize you as a psycho for your rambling, but instead he has a smile on his face and chuckles. His smile was practically as bright as his overpriced watch.

“Totally understandable. I don’t do any of this stuff either,” Bambam revealed.

“What? But you’re like a…” you begin, drifting off and unsure if “drug dealer” was a polite term to use in this day and age.

“Drug dealer?” He laughed, “yeah I know… But you know not everyone tries their own merchandise.”

You frowned, not completely understanding, “but shouldn’t you try and know your merchandise so you’re better at selling?”

He shrugged, “I guess when you’re selling drugs it really doesn’t matter,” Bambam shocks you by taking a step closer to you and reaching out to push a strand of hair that had fallen in front of your face, “or I’m just really good at what I do.”

Taking a step back, he smiles at you and you hear Jae clearing his throat, clearly uncomfortable at the situation, “so how about those drugs?” Bambam simply nodded, unfazed and handed Jae the bag as the latter slips him the cash.

You became confused as you watched Bambam handle the money. He was doing something so simple, but looked so attractive doing it? Absentmindedly you felt yourself bite down on your lip as you watched him count and place the cash in his money clip. You were lost in a daze of watching his hands and the money that you didn’t notice his gaze back up to you, “don’t bite down so hard baby girl, you never know what could happen.”

Jae coughed again, still awkward about your interactions with Bambam. You on the other hand felt him calling you “baby girl” go straight to your core, so much so that you pressed your legs together. Praying he didn’t notice; you found your eyes wandering to anywhere that wasn’t the drug dealer.

Bambam took your silence as a sign, “well I better get going. Have other stops to make this morning.” Jae nodded, simply thankful to not be caught in the middle of whatever this was any longer, “yeah us too.”

“See ya later Jae, you too y/n.” You still feel semi-dazed from his words that all you can do is wave him goodbye, and watch him walk out of the park, the opposite direction of where you and Jae came in from. Bambam turned around one final time before exiting the park completely, “remember! Say no to drugs!” he shouted over his shoulder, shooting you another smile.

As soon as he’s out of view, Jae turns to you, “let’s go. I want to roll this and smoke it before we get to the restaurant.” You follow Jae out of the park the way you both came until you both stop at a corner of the street that is inconspicuous and hidden enough that Jae can roll and light up his joint.

“That was weird right?” You asked Jae suddenly when he finally lights the joint.

“I think he was flirting with you?” Jae said as more of a question than a definite statement. You couldn’t tell if he was asking you or himself. Your friend’s ponderance was enough to confirm your suspicions and cause your stomach to flip. A small smile spread across your face and you see Jae look at you with a frown on his face.

“Dude chill, he’s just my drug dealer.”

His dismissal at the small amount of joy you felt for being flirted with annoyed you that you felt yourself soon go silent besides the odd cough here and there caused by the smoke induced by the joint.

When he was finally done and you began to walk to the restaurant, you felt yourself picking up your pace, walking far in front of him. When it soon became difficult for even him to keep up with you, he came to the realization that you were upset with him, but nonetheless Jae continued to try to talk and reason with you as you approached the restaurant where you were meeting your friends.

You didn’t say single word to him until you were sat at the table with everyone and asked him if he wanted to split a mimosa pitcher with you. At your words he felt thankful to know you had let go of what he had said earlier and nodded in agreement.

“Ooh a mimosa pitcher for y/n? Pinch me because I must be dreaming,” Gretchen said overhearing your conversation with Jae.

Another one of your college friends Brian laughed, “Yeah but Jae will probably finish most of it. We know y/n can’t really hold her alcohol.”

Why did everyone suddenly choose today as the day that they would make fun of you? So what maybe you weren’t as crazy as them when it came to certain things, but you weren’t a fucking nun like they were making you out to be. So what you didn’t get blackout drunk at brunch? So what if you got excited about someone flirting with you? Even if he was a drug dealer.

“That’s not true,” Jae said coming to your defense, clearly trying to make up for how he had upset you earlier, “honestly y/n can drink me under the table.”

Gretchen waved her hand in dismissal, “come on Jae we all know that’s not true. But that’s what we love about her! She’s our sweet pure friend! Every group needs one of those.”

“If she was pure would she go with me to see my drug dealer?” Jae asked.

Gretchen smiled, “Jae are you high right now?”

“Yeah I need it so I can fucking deal with you,” he practically growled. She laughed in response as if he was joking, when he was in fact not. “That’s so funny. It’s not like she would ever buy or do any though.”

You felt helpless watching this argument – about you – unfold. Moments like this made you feel like maybe you were too nice. Why couldn’t you just say something and defend yourself? Jae shouldn’t be the one doing it. You should be the one arguing with Gretchen.

“Well who cares because my drug dealer thinks she’s hot!”

At Jae’s confession you feel everyone turn to look at you as if you can offer some kind of explanation, but you’re just as clueless as everyone else on the topic of “my best friend’s drug dealer thinking I’m hot.” Jae must really be trying to make up for earlier.

“It’s true, he just messaged me like 15 minutes confirming he would bang her.”

Your mouth drops open. Turning to look at Jae you can’t tell if he’s being honest or just making things up for the sake of arguing with Gretchen.

“Okay y/n having sex with a drug dealer is probably the last thing she would ever do.”

“Um is this a brunch topic?” One of your more silent friends at the table, Mina asked clearly wanting the discussion to be over.

Finally, you feel like it’s important that you’re the one to end this weird discussion about you having sex at 11am at brunch. You rolled your eyes, “I am not some untouched Mother Theresa, Gretch.” She flinched at the nick name; you knew how much she hated being called that.

“I mean you what? Have had sex with only two people? Both who you had long term relationships with? That sounds pretty untouched to me.”

The table shifts uncomfortably and no one says anything in response, it isn’t until the waiter approaches the table to ask everyone if they’re ready to order that you feel yourself snap back into reality.

“A mimosa pitcher please,” Jae ordered and soon all eyes are on you as the waiter waits for your response, “add one more pitcher to that.”

Jae leans over to you, “we don’t need two.”

You smiled at him, “no this one’s for me.”

After the “discussion” at brunch, the atmosphere between you and everyone else clearly shifted. You predicted that they probably wouldn’t be calling you to get together for a while. For that you were thankful.

Both you and Jae headed to your apartment in silence and you tried not to be fixated on the topic of your sex life and how “pure” and “good” you were, but your mind kept lingering there. It infuriated you how much you cared, because you knew deep down it really didn’t matter. It caused you to feel off for the rest of the day. So much so that it felt as though you blinked and it was suddenly dark outside. Brunch had been hours ago, but you were still you were thinking about the words exchanged.

“Hey um… I was wondering… can I have his number?”

“Whose number?” Jae asked barely paying attention to you. He leans against your bed on the floor and had been engrossed in a game for the last 45 minutes.

“Bambam’s…” You said quietly, hoping that maybe just maybe your best friend was in a strong enough trance that he would just hand over the number without registering whose number it was exactly and not ask any questions. But of course, you weren’t so lucky.

“Really?” He asked placing his phone down in his lap to turn to you laying on the bed, “why?”

You shrugged your shoulders nonchalantly, not wanting Jae to see just how nervous you were, “I don’t know… Maybe I want to like pick up or something.”

He snorted, “Y/N… You don’t do drugs.”

“Okay but maybe I’ll start!”

He rolls his eyes and picks his phone back up, assumedly to return to his game, “We both know that’s a lie. You’re a goody two shoes and everyone knows it. The way you coughed this morning when I lit up is evidence enough.”

There it was again. Too nice. Goody two shoes. Pushover. You were so fucking tired of hearing it all today. In fact, you were tired of hearing it all the damn time.

Instead of arguing with Jae, like you knew you should have done, you found yourself rolling over to stare at the ceiling of your bedroom, “You’re right… I’m just a good little girl,” you mumbled. Silence soon filled the room and Jae felt himself tense up; he couldn’t deal with you being upset again. Rolling his eyes, he swiped up on his phone to exit his game and searched through his contacts.

You suddenly felt something being nudged against your body and looked to your side to see Jae’s phone open with the contact “BAMBAM (PLUG)” glowing up at you.

“I don’t know why you really need it, but there it is.” You smiled at your best friend and sat up quickly to copy the contact into your own phone, “thank you Jae.”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever.”

Later after Jae’s departure, you find your thumb hovering over Bambam’s number. Would it be too much to call? He probably wasn’t used to it in his line of business… Maybe it was just usually a texting thing?

To be completely honest you weren’t sure why you wanted his number… You weren’t sure if it was for drugs to prove everyone wrong, that you can in fact be bad or if it was for something… else. You thought about what Jae said at brunch… Did Bambam really text him that he would bang you? Did you want that?

The idea of having sex with Bambam certainly didn’t disgust or repulse you, instead you actually found yourself blushing at the thought and pressing your thighs together.

Holding your breath, you clicked his number and opened a new message.

y/n. hey… bambam. It’s y/n… Jae’s friend? We met in the park today…

bambam. Oh hey sup?

y/n. was just wondering… if maybe I could like idk pick up?

bambam. Ummm…. Hold on a sec.

You waited for what felt like eternity… He was putting you on hold? On hold through a text?

bambam. What do u need?

y/n. uh whatever you have on you I guess. Or like in stock ? is that how it works?

bambam. Haha something like that. I have mj, addy, coke, k, oxy lol pretty much anything u want. But like I said earlier today I’m out of acid and molly till next week.

y/n. yeah yeah yeah… okay. What’s k?

bambam. haha you’re so cute. It’s ket.

y/n. ??????

bambam. Ketamine. Horse tranquilizer.

y/n. okay… well I will not be doing that one. Can you just bring like a couple things and I’ll decide when we meet?

bambam. Um????? I guess so??

y/n. cool.

bambam. I’ll meet you at the park, I guess? In around an hour?

y/n. yeah that sounds good!

bambam. Bet.

You felt your heart beat out of your chest. Were you really just going to do this? What is it that you were going to do?

Looking at the time on your phone, you realized you needed to get ready and leave quickly if you wanted to meet Bambam on time. It was going to take you at least 40 minutes to walk to the park where you had met him earlier. Walking instead of calling an Uber would give you enough time to think, but also enough time to perhaps talk yourself out of it if you changed your mind mid-journey.

Although somehow, it hadn’t. Your mind on the walk over had been filled with Bambam, but not in a negative way that convinced you to turn around and head home… but in a way that had your core pulsing. You thought of what he had said to Jae earlier – true or not – and how he would take you if that’s what he wanted. It made your mind hazy and the lust that took over your thoughts caused you to barely notice that you had arrived at the park, Bambam already seated on the bench that you had been massaging your legs on earlier that morning.

He was sporting the same outfit he had been wearing earlier – a satin striped button up shirt tucked into tight black jeans and his clothing was enough to remind you of the reality of what you were doing here. To your dismay he was no longer wearing the glasses, in the fantasies that had fluttered into your mind on your walk, you had really grown in wanting to see Bambam’s glasses on as he fucked into you.

Approaching him, you shyly waved and he stood up to greet you, “hey…”

“Hi,” you replied feeling foolish at your choice of welcome. What were you supposed to say to seem more… cool?

“I don’t usually don’t take drop offs this late at night…”

You furrowed your eyebrows at him confused, “what? You’re a drug dealer… Isn’t night the best kind of time to do this stuff?”

“Nah night I work on my music. So, what’s up… You change your mind?” He tapped his foot impatiently and you can’t tell if he’s nervous about being in your presence or if he’s annoyed that you called him out here so late. But if he didn’t want to come… why would he? You took a deep breath in, hoping you were doing the right thing, “No… I-I lied I don’t want to pick up. I just- wanted to see you I guess?”

Even in the darkness of the park, you could see Bambam’s eyes widen in surprise, “see me? Why?”

You’re really not sure what’s supposed to happen next. You’ve never been in this situation before and although it seems like all of your friends' words drove you to text Bambam and come here, it was your own needs that were driving you to stay.

Deciding to take a risk with your questioning, you looked away from him, “Is what you sent to Jae true?” Bambam quickly blinked, unsure of how to respond to your question. He wasn’t sure if he needed to be honest or not. Were you mad at him for what he had said?

Instead, he clears his throat and decides it’s always best to tell the truth, “Um yeah what I said is true…”

You felt your stomach flip at the fact that the text Jae received was in fact true.

“Do you… still want to?” You asked shyly, still not daring to make eye contact with the beautiful man.

Bambam’s cock twitches at your question. Suddenly his jeans feel way too tight.

“Fuck yes,” Bambam replied, voice low and husky. It takes everything in him to not lunge forward and have his hands roam up and down your body, but he restrains himself, “where should we go? Mine? Yours?”

“Let’s do it here.”

Your words surprise both Bambam and you, but you ultimately decide to go with it.

“Here?” he asked, interrogating whether or not you were being serious. What if this was a joke? Before you can stop yourself, you nod, “yeah, here.”

He takes a step closer to you, until his hand moves forward to cup your face, “I knew you were bad girl when I met you.” His words go right to your core and you feel your panties grow damp. Typically, you would find that kind of talk cringe, but coming out of Bambam’s mouth all you wanted was to hear more of it.

Instinctively, Bambam groans at the thought of having his way with you, and he uses his free hand to grip your hip, hard enough to bruise and pulls you flush against his chest. He doesn’t hesitate as he leans in to press his lips to yours in a feverish kiss that leaves you breathless. His confidence surprises you, but also turns you on enough that you instantly moan against his lips.

You feel him smile and it feels as though you’re in an entirely different world than just a park square in the middle of the city. Bambam’s tongue brushes the seam of your lips before his tongue slips inside to explore your mouth. You feel him begin to pull you into the depths of the park, closer to the trees where it would be less visible if someone just so happened to decide to walk through.

The two of you stand there for what felt like forever and you feel surprised at Bambam’s clear want of wanting to take his time with you. His hands moved from your hips to your ass, his fingers kneading the flesh roughly as he makes himself familiar with your taste. He pulls himself away from the kiss, chest heaving and cheeks flushed. You whined at the loss of his lips on yours, but he simply stares at you, taking in your kiss swollen lips and the lust-filled look in your eyes. He had to admit that it was difficult to believe that the girl in front of him now was the same shy girl he had met earlier, but knowing you had this side to you made him want you even more. He drops his head to press his lips to your neck and you can feel his teeth scraping the sensitive skin on the column of your throat as his hands move to dip beneath the hem of your shirt.

After leaving a few marks, he pulls away just enough to tug the t-shirt up and over your head before his hands move to cup your bare breasts. Not wearing a bra was probably the best idea you had all week.

“Fuck… y/n your tits are so pretty,” he breathes against your skin as he returns his mouth to your neck, “I could just play with them all night.”

As he gently kneads your breasts, you feel yourself clench around nothing. You were overly sensitive from not being touched like this in so long, that you felt as though you could cum just from his hands on your breasts.

You attempt to focus on the kiss in an effort to control yourself from not letting go so easily, but soon Bambam’s hands release your breasts and seamlessly drag down your stomach to the button on your jeans. He snaps them open instantly and hooks his thumbs on either side, shoving them down, along with your panties, down your legs. Your sudden nakedness causes you to shiver as you feel the cool breeze of the summer night drift over you body. Bambam notices this and places his finger against your lips, “shh baby girl let me warm you up.”

Reattaching his lips to yours, Bambam gently pushes you against the tree behind you and you feel his fingers drift to your core and swirl around your entrance. The feeling of him where you need him the most is enough to cause you to moan and you can’t help but notice how he disconnects from your lips when he feels at how wet you are.

“Jesus y/n, you’re so wet. Are you sure you didn’t cum already?”

Wordlessly you shake your head almost violently to tell him you hadn’t.

“I don’t know if I believe you… a bad girl like you might lie,” you feel one of his digits slip into your slightly, only part of the way but not fully and you feel as though you’re about to scream at the teasing. You should have known that Bambam wouldn’t give you want you wanted that easily.

“I-I’m not lying,” you stuttered out between your attempts to hold your moans back.

He fully inserts the finger into you, curling it a bit and you can no longer stop the noises that want to leave your body, “If you’re not lying, I guess I just have to see what my baby girl looks like when she cums. How wet she gets, how tight around me, hmm?” You can’t find it in you to respond, you simply nod and he smirks at you, clearly proud at his efforts to make you so weak so quickly.

It isn’t long before, without warning, you feel him insert a second finger, pumping them inside you at a teasingly slow pace. You felt like you were going to break, because you just needed more.

“Bam p-please I-I need more.”

He played dumb, frowning at you, “need more what?”

“Faster, more,” you manage to breathe out and without a word he picks up the pace of his movement, a smirk on his face and lust in his gaze. It’s when he suddenly curls his digits, hitting just the right spot that you feel like all sanity and speech has left your body. How can something feel this good?

“Come on, cum on my fingers. I know that’s all you want. I’ll let my bad girl have what she wants, just this once.”

His words spur you on as you find your arms moving to the back of you to grip onto the tree for stability as you buck your hips further onto his fingers, wanting nothing more than in this moment to have a release. The combined effort of his finger curling and his thumb coming up to tap on your clit in an almost musical rhythm has you falling apart and releasing around his fingers. He can feel the shaking of your thighs and the tension of your body as his fingers work to let you ride the waves of your orgasm.

Bambam’s length which had been growing hard since the moment you asked if he wanted to fuck you, suddenly felt painful as he watched you fall apart from just the pure pleasure he had caused. He couldn’t wait any longer, he wanted and needed to be inside you.

“Ride me,” Bambam says without hesitation as soon as you’ve caught your breath from your orgasm. Despite your release which had only occurred moments ago, you felt yourself ready to go once again at Bambam’s words and at how quickly he worked to remove his clothes.

Instinctively, you licked your lips as you first laid eyes on his painfully hard and leaking red cock which had been desperately waiting for its turn. You wanted nothing more than to get your mouth or hands on it – preferably mouth – but as you reach forward, Bambam shook his head.

He sat himself against the tree, not caring about the fact that he was sitting on the actual ground in the middle of a public park. The only thought he had in his mind was getting inside of you and feeling how tight you would be when you sank down on him for the first time.

“Baby girl, let me feel you.”

That’s all it took for you to get into position and find yourself squatting down to sit in his lap, rubbing your slit against the head of his cock, ready to take in every single inch of him. At the feeling of you rubbing yourself against his sensitive cock, Bambam groans, “no teasing, I just need you. Please.”

His begging and more submissive request turns you on and it leads you to wonder if maybe that would be a side of yourself you would want to explore later. But for now, you just needed to feel him inside of you.

Slowly, you lowered yourself onto him, moaning at how good it felt to finally have him around you, stretching you out completely. It had been awhile since your last sexual encounter and with the way Bambam was filling you, it almost felt like your first time again – this time there was no pain however, only pleasure. “Fuck… Bam.”

You just sat there for a moment, enjoying the feeling, until you felt him ever so slightly shift and then heard a groan. His hands instinctively landed on your hips as he attempted to get you to move, he almost couldn’t take how snug you felt around him, he wanted you bouncing up and down on him at a brutal pace. Understanding his want, you lifted your hips barely an inch before falling back down on him. Every time you did it you went a little bit higher.

“Come on I know you can do better than that,” Bambam egged you on despite his groans. At his words you leaned back, placing your hands on his thighs, giving him a much deeper angle into you. As you rode him like this, he began to thrust up meeting your hips and every time he did his cock hit a spot inside of you that made your eyes roll back into your head.

Your movement on him began to grow sloppier as a shot of pleasure made itself known throughout every part of your body. At your sudden change of pace, Bambam held your hips to continue moving you up and down on him, his own thrusting becoming faster. “You feel so fucking good. Damn maybe I should just stop working and fuck you all day,” you felt yourself clench at his words and he continued, “you’d like that huh? I can feel how tight you’re getting just at the thought of me using you and filling you with my cum every single day. Such a dirty girl.”

You could feel your walls clench, and Bambam let out a groan having to thrust harder just to keep going as deep, “I’m- gonna- fuck.”

Somehow, not out of breath, Bambam whispered into your ear, “You’re gonna what? Cum? Do it… Cum all over me in this fucking park where anyone can see. I know how much want it so just fucking do it.”

You were seeing stars and your thighs were shaking once again when Bambam reached in between your bodies, pinching your clit, finally making you fall apart. Although you had once been concerned about being loud because of the public aspect of your location, you found yourself unable to contain your screams when your orgasm hit you. You could feel your juices dripping down onto his thighs as he pulled out of you and pumped himself one final time, released his seed onto your stomach and chest. As he caught his breathe, you dipped your finger into his release which had begun to drip down to your thighs. Placing it into your mouth, you suck it gently. “Mmmm,” you moaned at the taste and Bambam stared at you wide eyed. “Um fuck… should we do a round two?”

You laugh at his response and the lustful gaze that still clouds his eyes, “maybe… not here?”

Bambam grasps his discarded shirt and begins to wipe up the mess he left on your body, as well as the mess you left on his thighs. The gesture warms your heart.

He hums in response, almost lost in a trance as he wipes you up. “I mean… I know I’m just a drug dealer,” he said laughing, “but how about I take you out for a late night dinner slash early breakfast and then we have a round two where I enter you from the oh so classy doggy style position?”

You laugh and grab his hands, stopping him from continuing to wipe you up, causing him to look into your eyes.

“Deal.”

#got7 fanfic #got7 smut #bambam smut #bambam fanfic #bambam

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sourbat · 3 years ago

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Here’s a little something inspired by a twitter post by @lampmeeting. Thank you for letting me use your setting and allowing explore this idea :)

Summary: Magnus comes to his apartment after a long day from work and realizes he forgot Toki was coming to see him.

Pair: Toki and Magnus

Rating: T for language

He forgot Toki was due to arrive today. Well, that wasn’t entirely true: Magnus pretty much had the date engrained in every facet of his being, with the memo saved on both calendar and the company phone. But somewhere between being asked to pick up Dennis’ shift, spending a solid half hour trying to help sort a fight between two live-ins, being snubbed by the supervisor for appearing less than favorable around clients and forgetting to clock out at lunch (again), and having the misfortune of being the only one on duty with the knowledge to replace a flat tire, it must have slipped his mind. Then, to top it all off, Magnus very stupidly accepted staying behind to help clean the cafeteria’s storeroom. He did it despite already being in a mood, sore from kneeling and installing a new wheel for the company van, because he thought it might amount to some small, positive thing. His supervisor redacting their previous statement about him, or some co-worker offering a smile instead of their usual candor regarding him and his temperament. It didn’t, and instead of clocking out at half past three like he planned, didn’t reach the floor to his apartment until five in the evening, where he found Toki already situated, phone at hand and a few klokateers at his side.

Toki lifted his head, eyes aglow with immediate interest the moment Magnus shut the door behind him. “Hiya Magnus!”

Unprepared, and quite shocked to see the younger man sitting amongst his furniture, Magnus spent a good second taking in the scene. There was Toki, smiling at him. Klokateers nodding and offering their silent warnings before slipping past and offering the two their privacy. His lower back twinging with icy stings. The clock on the microwave indicating the hour. The reminder on his calendar that Toki would be arriving around half past four. Toki approaching and snatching him by the hand. The weight of his work boots tripling, and the insane pang his arches endured with every step.

“Toki, you’re here?” he muttered amid his mental decay, and still pondered and repeated as Toki dragged him to the couch. He fell into the stiff cushion, good eye still fixed on the younger man’s form, hoping that this was all a terrible mistake, and Toki hadn’t just spent half an hour waiting for him.

A friendly peck on the cheek proved otherwise.

“You’re here,” Magnus muttered, palm resting against the freshly planted kiss. Shit, you’re here.”

“Yeps,” Toki replied joyfully, which only served to eat at Magnus’ already steeping guilt. He grabbed a collection of reusable bags, hoisting them and placing them on top of his laps for Magnus to view. “Broughts a lot of things this times. And now you ams here, so we can haves…”

Magnus raised his heavy head when he noticed Toki suddenly go silent. A quick glance provided a hint something was amiss, and when Magnus stopped trying to free his knotted shoelace, saw Toki wearing the oddest of looks.

“Something wrong?”

“Ams ok?”

Magnus dropped his leg. “What?”

“Looks a little tireds,” Toki answered with a small, worried pout. Again, it only made Magnus painfully aware of how late he was, and he regretted bothering to stay behind in the first place. Toki, how on earth did he forget Toki was visiting him today? And now the guy was staring at him like he was expecting Magnus to break down and admit he accidentally set the kitchen on fire. Well, it almost felt like it. Magnus would have rather that happen than half the other crap that occurred today. That would have been a decent enough excuse for being late. There was no way he was going to bring up what actually occurred. No point in wasting Toki’s precious time. The guy traveled thousands of miles to be here. It was Magnus’ turn to play good host.

With that in mind, Magnus pasted on a smile. He sucked in a sharp breath and swallowed the pain rooted in his lower back and legs, and said, “Well, I hung around work longer than normal.”

“Oh, ams dat why you ams so late?”

Ouch. Well, ok.

Pulling in his bottom lip for a bite, Magnus gave a slight nod. “Yeah, sorry about that.”

“No, ams ok,” Toki insisted, perking his shoulder up and lifting the ends of his pout into a hopeful smile. “I dids say you should tries to make more friends here.”

“You did say that,” Magnus replied, trying to sound more relieved than annoyed by his current prospects.

If only Toki knew how half the staff reacted whenever he moseyed into a room, or how impatient and passive-aggressive his supervisor turned when he performed an action that was deemed subpar, or “not friendly enough,” whatever the hell that meant. As far as friends go, Magnus had several twenty-somethings bothering him over the smallest thing, and never picking up when he wanted space, or–

“So, why don’t you tells Toki abouts your day?”

Magnus tugged at a shoestring, eye wincing at the dull sting that quaked in his arch. Was it a blister, or just plain exhaustion? Then arrived the question, and when Magnus broke from his strain of thought, found Toki now inching closer with his round blue eyes locked on him.

With the same, tight smile, Magnus shook his head and waggled a finger at the encroaching Toki. “Nah, give me a moment. I’ll be ready to head out in a second.”

He returned to his work boots and tugged at the heel, wriggling it free as best he could without reawakening another sharp pang. Magnus yanked off the first, withholding a sigh he had building inside of him from the anticipation. He wiggled his free foot from its sock. Thankfully, no blisters, but a day on his feet in heavy work boots had left its effect. Hopefully Toki was in a limo mood today, and not a walking and exploring one.

“Wants some helps?”

Magnus was busy working the second boot when a hand entered his vision, sliding over his own. Soft, large and warm. Toki’s hands. Magnus’s eyes widened at the sight of Toki fingers sliding over his, reaching for the laces and somehow undoing the knot with graceful ease. Magnus uttered a single complaint, a noise that suggested shame for being caught in a moment of weakness, but quickly gave in to watch Toki near him, yank off the second boot and then bring his hands to cup and hold Magnus by the heel. Another, gentler yank, and cold air washed over his afflicted foot. A finger glided down the sole, and Magnus flinched. It wasn’t the tickle, but the irritating flash of pain that racked up the foot, raced up his leg and added to the collective pain settled in his lower back.

Toki’s eyes fixed on his reaction. “Oh, wowee. Magnus, what did you and your pals do all days? Runs around in circles?”

“Something like that,” Magnus said, eye wincing right as Toki began squeezing his arch. He bit his tongue, keeping as straight a face as he could. Was this happening? Was Toki aware of what he was doing?

“Oh? Tell Tokis?”

Another controlled squeeze suggested so. Magnus had had the pleasure of dealing with a playful Toki. A grabby Toki. This was not the same. This was two thumbs firmly pressed into sore muscles, massaging circles and breaking down tight knots built up from stress and overwork. This was another glimpse at a more mature Toki that Magnus had difficulty accepting, yet wanted to know better. Worst, this was yet another damn instance where he had messed up, and now Toki was forced to adjust. Well, not this time.

“In a bit. You said you wanted to catch a flick, right?” Magnus asked, then tried to retract his foot from Toki’s grip. “Let me put on a pair and we can talk on the way to my car. Or your limo.”

“Cans waits,” Toki declared, then gave Magnus’ foot another squeeze. This time, Magnus couldn’t stop a small shime from slipping past. The ache was pulsed up his ankle and leg, to his back. Feeling the building pressure, Magnus sank into the furniture. Let outstretched, Toki ran his hands up Magnus’ leg, taking ruddy work pants into his large hands. “Your foots ams swollen.”

“I know, man.”

Swollen feet was just the half of it. He had spent his entire day going from one part of the rehabilitation home, a good hour working in a garage without air conditioner, and another one hauling boxes of nonperishables from one shelf to another. He reeked, smelled like sweat, dust and tomato paste, and was willing to bet he looked as wretched as he felt. He should have stayed behind. He should have taken a shower, and been there at the door to greet Toki after a long flight.

“Magnus?” Toki said as he massaged the sensitive arch. The relief that spilled from the contact had Magnus gripping the pillow. He sighed, feeling the day’s events stretch out before him. Why did he push back his lunch break and take that shift? Why did he argue with the residents over petty shit like who had the right to the remote, or this week’s latest gossip magazine? Why did he try, when it always amounted to him being scolded for raising his voice, for snapping back, or getting frustrated?

Eyes on the ceiling, Magnus answered: “Yeah?”

“How was your day?”

And if he missed his original lunch break, then wouldn’t it make sense to just not get upset over him forgetting to clock out for a late lunch? It wasn’t like he was purposefully trying to break the rules. He was trying to be a team player, otherwise he wouldn’t have bothered with missing his lunch, or helped clean the storeroom. And how was it none of these kids knew how to change a flat?

“Magnus?”

A sigh. “I’ll be real with you, dude: it’s not as exciting as you think.”

“So? Cames to sees you.”

It sounded so small, so sad, that Magnus tore from his silent tribulations to check on Toki. The massage continued, still solid and firm, but Toki’s head hung a little low. Honey brown hair partly concealed a growing frown. Reclined in his seat, the pain in Magnus’ back had started to dull, but a new pain bubbled up his throat as he watched Toki’s bottom lip start to push out. The poor kid was just trying to create small talk, and here he was doing everything in his power to avoid a conversation.

If only he had anything worth talking about.

Magnus pulled himself into a seated position, letting his feet drop to the floor. The pain returned, but Magnus didn’t mind. Feet now hanging, he reached and took Toki’s now freed hands into his.

“You came to have fun,” he stated, watching Toki’s brows and slightly parted mouth go crooked.

“No. Toki cames to be with you,” he insisted, then rubbed his thumbs into Magnus’ tired palms. That, too, was a relief. “Ams not doing that rights now?”

Such kind words. Magnus found little reason to accuse Toki of being deceitful, but refused to accept that after a long flight, Toki was perfectly fine with spending and evening cooped up inside of a drafty apartment, rubbing his feet while he bitched and moaned about his stupid day.

He let out a heavy, staggered sigh. “Toki, you can’t tell me you’re fine with sitting and listening to me complain about my shitty day.”

So, stupid. Why the hell did he stay behind to help with the storeroom? He could be out right now, out with Toki at some loud club. How long had Toki waited for him? He’d been so selfish, thinking only about himself, that he failed to ask when he finally arrived. He owed Toki a nice evening. Toki came to have fun, to explore the rest of Phoenix and get lost in the canyons.

A hand lifted him by the chin. In front of him, Magnus watched Toki’s face inch close, until there was nothing for him to do but meet the younger man in the eyes.

“Cant’s have fun if you ams in pains,” Toki replied softly. His thumb rolled across Magnus’ bristly chin, coaxing a reaction. Hesitantly, Magnus drew forward, closing the gap. A pain nestled in his chest as he brought his lips to meet Toki. Another hand, wrapped around his lower waist and back, melted it away. “Remembers, we ams boyfriends now,” Toki said as they parted, “So… let’s Toki helps. I’ll fix your foots, and you can tell me abouts your day, okays?”

The word hung high, alien and sounding so juvenile compared to what Manus had grown accustomed to. But upon hearing it, he couldn’t help but chuckle, letting his face burn a little with surprise that Toki would excitedly point it out, use it as a weapon against him to show that he cared.

“Fine,” he answered stiffly and, after allowing himself a second to relax, added, “yeah.”

Toki fidgeted, excited by the agreement. Already, Magnus’ legs were in the process of gliding back up to the cushions when Toki grabbed and lifted his left by the heel. Caught off-guard, Magnus slipped and fell back into the stiff cushions. The rough bounce awakened every sore part of his body, and with it, today’s memories. Tender fingers rolled over his tired muscles, and while Magnus stared up at the slow moving ceiling fan, felt the entire weight of the day start to crush him.

Above, Toki’s voice rang clear. “So, where does you wanna start?”

Magnus blinked. A warm sting burned at the edge of his eyes.

“…my supervisor’s a dick.”

#magtok #hammertooth #toki wartooth #magnus hammersmith #lampmeeting #foot rubs #lots of talking #Magnus being stubborn #not betad #totally not inspired by real events

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jmagnabo92 · 4 years ago

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How I Met Your Mother Thoughts Part 2

11. Robin left the group until Tracy died and then started coming around again. Proof: In “Bad Crazy”, the time jumps are 4, 12, 14, 16, and 17 years. 4 is right after the divorce (2017) where she’s trying to stay connected due to Lily’s insistence. Then the very next time jump is 2013 plus 12 = 2025, the year after Tracy dies. She’s hanging around again because Ted’s available. Of course he’s hurting, and not open to moving on (as he has a ten year old and eight year old to think about), so, it’s another two years. Still not ready, two more years. Then one year when he’s getting closer and closer to being ready, which is why she hangs out with them more and more.

Also, further proof: Penny at five has no idea who Robin is. She calls Robin “The bus lady”. This is right before the deleted scene where Robin asks Ted if he wanted to continue with the forty deal (and Ted then decides it’s time to make Tracy his wife). BUT in earlier episodes, and in general, he refers to her as “aunt Robin” and says she starred in their colored pictures. Since they were 9 and 7 when Tracy died, it still makes sense that Robin would star in their pictures if she started coming around, again.

Side note, Ted’s not the reason Jeanette is crazy, she was crazy before.

12. It was cruel of Robin and Barney to have Ted as their best man. Especially, after he told her he loved her the year before. It was even worse for Barney to ask him to be his best man, but then take it away without even talking to him. The entire episode of “The Broken Code”, Barney was being unnecessarily cruel to Ted. A) because Barney broke the code first, and B) because without breaking the code, the whole wedding wouldn’t happen. Especially when it was Barney’s fault he wasn’t there for Robin, Robin fault that she called and she was grabbed his hand, not the other way around. His hand is face down on his knee. She reaches over and grabs it.

Side note, why the hell wasn’t James Barney’s best man? Either from the beginning or when the “code” was broken. James should’ve been his best man. I’d be offended if I was James. Especially when James/Tom relationship was part of why Barney was warming up to marriage in the first place.

13. Ted’s decision to move to Chicago was stated to happen in “Something New”, but I think it actually happened in “Romeward Bound”. Why? Because his best friends are moving to Italy for a year, and there’s that moment where Ted knowing Robin better than Barney, tells Barney that the whole “look don’t touch” thing is not okay with her. As we know from her aversion to strip clubs and her reaction to Barney’s declaration that she’s okay with it the first time they dated, she is definitely not okay with it. Even Lily says the same thing, but Barney was cold when he told Ted to back off. This was the moment that Ted realized without being able to talk out his frustrations with Marshall and Lily, he’ll go crazy. Just like the year before when he left the apartment because he needed a change, he needed to leave New York, no matter how much he loved it. Seeing how quickly he changes gears to stay, it’s clear that he just needed happiness and/or at least a buffer. If Marshall/Lily weren’t planning to move, he wouldn’t either.

14. I’m rewatching Season 2, so this might be a little ranty, but seriously, Lily was so wrong in “How Lily Stole Christmas”. First of all, Ted was right to call her names when you consider that she waited 9 years to decide she needed to find herself, and when you’re angry, especially in that situation, you’re going to say awful things to make yourself feel better (and Marshall needed to hear bad things about her to start moving on, he had put her on pedestal and she needed come off for him to move on). Second of all, she wasn’t just punishing Ted, she was also punishing Marshall, who did nothing to her.

Also, she lives with them (something that has been going on for six years since they moved in there in 2000), and if she kept being so petty, she was going to break up their long lasting friendship because he had the right to be angry over her abandoning Marshall since he was dealing with the result of her actions (and clearly supporting Marshall because he laid around all summer drinking). I’m not saying she couldn’t be angry about what he said, but stealing Christmas away from both Ted and Marshall was wrong. Anyway, that brings me to another point.

15. Lily’s Credit Card debt. This is a second reason that many people, at least on Reddit, attack Lily, and I have to say that I understand how she ends up in so much debt. First, it’s the clothes, but the main issues are A) paying for apartments and utilities that she’s not actually living in because she needed it for her independence B) not working for a private school to make more money and C) she tends to ignore her debt entirely until she has no choice. Both she and Marshall spend money as soon as they get it, even when they were in debt from the wedding, school, and Lily’s shopping sprees, which only makes it worse.

16. Making the Wedding that Ted met Tracy at be Barney and Robin’s wedding, while makes sense from a story point of view (since it starts with Robin, so letting go of Robin makes sense to be able to move onto the love of his life), was a bad decision for the show. Why? Since Ted was ready to be married from Pilot and Barney was the anti-marriage guy for the first like four seasons, it caused Ted’s plot to basically pause until Barney caught up and then surpassed him. The last 3 seasons focus on Barney’s development from one night stands to being a one-woman man, meanwhile Ted, who’s already at the commitment point is stuck in pauseland because his story needs Barney to surpass him. For me, having Ted be a bystander in his own story, makes the story drag. I really don’t like the last few seasons because of the focus on Barney’s development when I’m here for Ted’s story.

17. “Lucky Penny” is a good episode, except for the annoying completely unprofessional Airport Personal and glaring plot holes regarding the timeline. I also don’t like the scene where the kid with a broken leg, the old lady, and the pregnant lady are all practically demanding that he get up, like they own his seat. He had every right to that seat, jelly legs or not. However, I really like the idea that Tracy actually dropped the penny, and even more that is why his daughter’s name is Penny. I also like the connection - this wouldn’t have happened if that hadn’t happened, and that wouldn’t have happened if that other thing didn’t happen. Basically, this is the entire series.

If Ted never met Robin, he would never date her, if he never dated her, they wouldn’t break up, if they didn’t break up, he wouldn’t have gotten the Butterfly Tattoo, if he hadn’t gotten the Tattoo, he never would’ve met Stella. If he hadn’t met Stella, he never would’ve gotten left at the alter, if he hadn’t gotten left at the alter, Tony wouldn’t have given him the Professor Job. If he never became a professor, he never would’ve met Cindy, if he never met Cindy, he never would’ve prompted her to realize that she’s a lesbian, and then randomly running into her allowed for Tracy to be the band at the wedding. I think I lost track after Cindy, but the entire story is all if this happened then that happened.

18. Ted helping Victoria run away from her wedding was totally Out Of Character. Ted was left at the alter and it nearly destroyed him, but he randomly decides to run off with Victoria, completely allowing Klaus to go through that same pain? It just doesn’t make sense. He got closure in “The Ducky Tie”, he didn’t need to go out with her again. Also, the fact that she blamed him for her cold feet and decision to run off from her wedding soured me on her. It was her decision, her freak out, she did not have to answer the call or show up at the bar, and she certainly didn’t have to use Ted as an excuse to leave. Besides, Klaus also left, so it was going down the drain anyway. Also, I got irrationally mad that her dad apparently expected Ted to pay, uh, no. That’s on Klaus and Victoria, not Ted.

19. Speaking of! Going back to Season 1 “The Wedding”. Ted honestly thought that he checked plus 1, so I get why he worked so hard to get Robin to go to the wedding, but the fact that it sparked the Temporary End of Stuart and Claudia was not his fault. He would not have owed them the money back, especially when their relationship was clearly fragile if that fight on the eve of their wedding could end it. Also, they clearly should never have gotten married, seeing what we see of them later on, it’s really obvious they are not compatible, and they would’ve been better off with other people.

20. In the “Duel”, Ted and Marshall are passive aggressively fighting about the apartment, which was brought up again in Season 9 “The Poker Game”. Apparently, despite living together, they cannot discuss things openly and honestly, which is hilarious, how do you live with someone for most of your adult life and not learn how to talk?

So, anyway, the reason I bring up “Duel” is that Barney tells Ted that he’s being edged out, and asks him if he’s going to still be his (Marshall’s) roommate when he’s married, and fun fact, for the first year and a half of their marriage, he is their roommate. Also, in that same time period, they are apparently fighting over the wedding present that Ted didn’t get them, even though A) they live together B) How would Stuart know what Marshall’s favorite Coffee Maker was and C) Ted gave them 2 grand to finish their hardwood floors in their new apartment. It doesn’t make any sense for Marshall and Lily to be hung up on a specific present when Ted SOLD his new car and GAVE them a lot of money for their new apartment, even though he would eventually be down a roommate (well, 2) and have his rent go up (because he’d now have to pay Marshall’s half). I love Marshall, but come on, dude, no need to be so...what’s the word?...Greedy?

***

Anyway, I still have more thoughts, but have no idea how to be less wordy, so new post will eventually come.

#how i met your mother #himym #Ted Mosby #tracy mcconnell #Marshall Eriksen #lily aldrin #robin sherbatsky #barney stinson #all seasons #thoughts part 2

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hellzyeahwebwielingessays · 5 years ago

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Lets debunk the BS from this. Up top a lot of this BS comes from Bob Chipman/MovieBob who is the guy who if you recall said:

- Superheroes like Superman (and thus by extension Spider-Man who marry civilians were jerks for putting their spouses through the same stuff soldiers’ spouses go through

- Spider-Man appeals best to teens (even though he provably doesn’t since most people get into him before their teens and he appealed to college students in his heyday)

- The Spider-Marriage was nothing more than a forced publicity stunt

- Sins Past is worse than OMD

- Spider-Man is about passive aggressive power

- And the best one, ever since OMD Peter and MJ had become ‘more interesting’

That all being said lets dive into this:

Someone asked the panel what a queer reading would add to the character of Miles…Jesus…that’s just the greatest sign of hope for this podcast isn’t it? Shoot me now…

Miles was not 3 dimensional when he was created. Even if you disagree it is nonsense to say that Peter wasn’t three dimensional when he was first created. Just look at how much Stan explored Peter’s psychology in this singular panel from ASM #50

Look at that. Peter Parker pulled between the two sides of his life. Making a judgement of someone. But then calling out his own judgement of them and acknowledging maybe he’s in the wrong.

This was 1967!

That isn’t three dimensional?

Additionally other people would disagree that Peter wasn’t three dimensional early on.

And even if you disagree with that it’s nonsense to say he hasn’t SINCE become three dimensional or that retaining his origin story (which Miles broadly uses as the basis for his story in every version of his character) somehow holds him back from being three dimensional. If nothing else Peter was at least multifaceted for the time period.

Spider-Man wasn’t an example of stories about a 15 year old made for 7 year olds. Spider-Man was intended to be a senior in AF #15 and the stories were written by Stan for at worst an older audience but at best basically just for him.

Stan Lee confirmed that AF #15 was written not as a one off but as something that if successful COULD become an on-going series.

Its BS to say Peter makes no sense as a character because he makes sense about as much as any character within the confines of the superhero genre can. MILES doesn’t somehow make more sense whatsoever.

No. Spider-Man wasn’t merely a thrown together ‘hey here is a teenage superhero story with a downer ending’ it was a story about selfishness, responsibility and appealed via it’s relative normalcy and lack of idealization of the superhero protagonist.

The psychology and thematic idea of his exclusive powers (invisibility+venom blast) is the same…how? How is disappearing and repelling people the same thing? They keep saying that in the podcast as though it’s obvious and it’s really not

Great Power=Great responsibility isn’t Peter’s catch phrase it’s the philosophy underpinning everything he does

‘The young end millennials have been thrown under the bus by society so the optimism is reserved for the young end millenials like Miles and Gwen’ oh but also ‘you need 5-10 years added to each character to have this make sense and also Spide-Ham doesn’t quit fit’…So…the theory doesn’t make sense then does it. Also, what optimism is there for teen millenials in the late 2010s? We are all shit scared Global warming needs to be fixed within the next 10-20 years. The young end millenials will not be in much of a position to do that. Maybe not the high-end millenials either. The power rests in older Gen Xers or even older generations. So this ‘generational’ theory is bullshit. Yeah, Miles as the next generation maybe makes sense but not when you apply real world concepts of who the different generations are. Especially considering that’s made up bullshit anyway.

‘Blah blah blah for most of my life I’ve been uninterested in Spider-Man because I’ve believed him to be WHITE MALE teenaged wish fulfilment.’…*internally groans*…oh boy…this woman is one of those types huh. Frankly I, and I would advocate others too, take a salt shaker with them whenever they hear someone say something like this. But more importantly Spider-Man is seriously NOT what she describes. For starters Peter was a senior in high school when he began and shouldered adult responsibilities when his father died. That’s wish fulfilment? That’s a BURDEN. The reason that spoke to so many people was because he was just different and because his imperfections made him more relatable. The whiteness idea is also bullshit since he was intentionally or otherwise subtextually Jewish and has spoken to countless people of all colours across the generations. He very particularly has a HUGE following among African Americans which was partially what prompted the creation of Miles Morals in the first place! Shit, the showrunner for the 1994 Spider-Man cartoon was black for God’s sake. Many of the head honcho creators for ITSV were people of colour who were clearly MASSIVE Spider-Man fans!

‘As a woman Spider-Man didn’t resonate with me’. Spider-Man is male. And he acts in ways a male would in the context of the situations. But the character as a whole, in his deepest themes and concepts, is a universal character. He does and has spoken to people across race, gender, sex, sexuality, class, culture and generations. Spider-Girl, Mayday Parker, was her father’s daughter and far more similar than different to him. She spoke to male and female readers. Peter Parker himself has had female fans since his inception. There is no end of female fans here on tumblr or in other online spaces that are the proof of this, to say nothing of old letters pages.

Miles feels more like a real kid and fits together better than most other versions of Peter Parker?...how? I don’t like USM the comic but hwo the fuck do you take that, Spec Spidey, the 1994 cartoon and the Raimi movies (that MovieBob adores btw) and say ‘it doesn’t fit together properly like Miles’. Dude, Comic Book Miles Morales is a teenager in New York who goes to a bordering school for scientifically gifted kids and yet is supposed to be an everyman. That fits together well? He risked his life before being motivated to do so which is how most 13 year old woudn’t have acted. Then he feels guilty about Peter dying but his BFF explains it’s not his fault and he accepts this but then goes on to become Spider-Man anyway. And somehow this equates to guilt+responsibility. THAT’s better put together? His character got web-shooters two different ways by the same writer and the guy he was a legacy to was resurrected within like 3 years of Miles’ debut. That’s well put together? This makes more sense and is more believable than a kid who’s Dad dies because he didn’t use his gifts altruistically, so he spends his whole life striving to use them altruistically?

Blah blah blah MovieBob spewing more shit about how Peter is a teenage wish fulfilment power fantasy even though he clearly isn’t from a modern POV and REALLY wasn’t in the early 1960s.

By extension arguing Peter is an adult male’s retroactive teenaged wish fulfilment fantasy of working stuff out is so plainly wrong. Peter Parker in the early 1960s didn’t have everything figured out. The whole world was against him totally unfairly. He needed Aunt May or the Human Torch at times to give him pep talks. His social life was barely existent! You wanna see a middle aged man’s retroactive young wish fulfilment fantasy? Go read Brand New Day, which MovieBob claims was superior to the pre-OMD era. What is the wish fulfilment here? That attractive young women like him? Is that it? That one thing vs. all the horrible shit beating Peter down?

Bob claims there was a lot more Steve Ditko in the early issues of his run compared to Stan Lee because Peter was very angry. First of all Ditko was such a private person claiming he was definitely angry and that the anger was all him is a MASSIVE speculation. Especially considering Stan wrote Spidey as angry plenty after Ditko left. More importantly, Peter wasn’t angry in the early Ditko issues except for maybe issue #8. He had his moments sure, but it wasn’t at all consistent. He wasn’t raging out or smashing shit like he did later in Ditko’s run. He was more anxious and neurotic in those early issues which is comparatively closer to how Stan and Romita handled Peter in their earliest issues together. Peter and the whole world of Spidey got angrier towards the end of Ditko’s run. You know when Stan was letting Steve plot stuff more and more…It’s almost like Bob is full of shit or something

Bob tries to claim by the time ITSV was being written the kinks in Miles’ character had been worked out in the comics. Nah fam. If anything they’d been exacerbated. In reality it was the ITSV writers who took the wonky early Miles character and worked out those kinks themselves, creating an overall superior rendition of the character. A viewpoint I am not alone in.

‘The Prowler has never been a particularly noteworthy villain in the comics’ That’s because he’s not a villain. He was kind of a villain in his debut but he very quickly became an ally to Spidey

The panel then get into a very pretentious discussion about how ITSV preaches you arne’t stapled to your origin, you are not your trauma. That claiming that is pretentious ala Zack Snyder. But like…isn’t that the POINT of super hero origins? That they contextualize everything about the heroes thereafter? Isn’t carrying his trauma with everything they do practically the point of Batman and Spider-Man’s origins; you know the 2 most popular heroes? Uncle Ben’s death IS stapled to Spider-Man because it underlines everything he ever does. Shit it doesn’t even make sense when applied to Miles in ITSV. He does what he does because his Spider-Man died and then so did his uncle. There is even a whole scene in his dorm room where each Spider-Hero relays the grief that shaped their own lives. I’m not saying you need death and tragedy to be Spider-Man. But that’s neither a bad thing nor something that ISN’T applicable to Peter nor ITSV Miles. Aren’t these idiots supposed to be film buffs? How do you screw up such a basic reading like that?

One of the pundits claimed the movie preaches acting heroically in spite of your tragedies not because of them. Again though…that’ not Spider-Man. Peter is a hero specifically because his uncle died. Miles endeavours to become Spider-Man because his Peter died. His Uncle Aaron’s death further fuels him and allows him to make to final leap of faith. Yes, Peter B. continues to be a hero in spite of his failings but it is only his experiences with Miles that make that possible.

‘They don’t need the tragedies to be heroic they are already heroic in their own right. Look, I don’t disagree with that more broadly. Mayday Parker didn’t need tragedy to be a hero. But in terms of the specific characters in this movie? That’s clearly not true:

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This whole ‘in spite of tragedy’ shit is so pre-Marvel DC comics it hurts. Heroes who just innately do the right thing because it is the right thing to do is a dated and archaic invention Spidey and the other Marvel heroes were reacting against.

‘Spider-Man Noir detracted from the film’s message of diversity because he was a brooding WHITE MAN who prowled the night to enact fist based justice!!!!’ Do I even need to say anything to that? First of all literally every hero in the movie enacts fist based justice. Why does Noir operating at night make him worse than Peter B? Why does him being male make that worse than Peni or Gwen? Why does him being white make that worse than Miles or Peni? And as for detracting from the message of diversity, shockingly diversity can be found within the same ethnic or gender group. You know white/male people aren’t a monolith and all that. Plus creatively you want PERSONALITY diversity more than anything else. In this movie in particular you want shorthand conceptual differences too. ‘Spider-Man but an anime mech girl’ ‘Spider-Man but a noir character’. ‘Spider-Man but a cartoon pig’. This is how asinine this disgusting modern day mentality is.

Wow…MovieBob defending Noir from the asinine comment. I’m genuinely surprised. Too bad he doesn’t use the most obvious defence of ‘that is obviously a ridiculous statement to make you moron’

The next topic of discussion was related to Marvel moving away from Gwen as Spider-Man’s dead girlfriend. I spoke a lot about Bob’s ice cold take on that in this post.

He claims they introduced Spider-Gwen because the idea would be taboo and thus would get people talking. HA! Spider-Gwen was done as just a general idea not something to spark controversy. It wouldn’t even BE controversial. Marvel brought back a version of Gwen within 2 years of her death. They brought her back again 15 years after her death. They brought her back again 22 years after her death along with other versions who melted because it was the Clone Saga. During and after all those times they had AUs of Gwen in What If, Age of Apocalypse, Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane and other such stuff. An explicitly AU of Gwen Stacy in 2014 was one of the most aggressively uncontroversial things you could do.

Gwen’s ballet shoes differentiate her from every other Spider-Man ever. I mean yes in terms of being a dancer I suppose but in terms of being dedicated and studious, training hard and earning immense physical control? There have been plenty of versions of Spider-Man pre-2018 who are like that.

The only way you can make Spider-Gwen work going forward is by not tying it to her death in the canon? Boy…too God damn bad her debut and origin is entirely built upon that. Her origin in the comics and in the movies is built upon a role reversal because it is Peter who dies to motivate her. Film audiences would’ve still grasped that role reversal because it was only 4 years ago Emma Stone’s highly popular rendition of the character died. And that was in the last pre-MCU Spider-Man movie to boot!

‘The only Iron Man story anyone cared about was Demon in a Bottle’ Actually they only cared about that story and Armor Wars. But yeah, the MCU version is lesser for neither having his alcoholism nor a crippling heart condition. The mere fact people became complacent about that doesn’t mean it wasn’t reductive.

‘These are fictional characters they need to grow and change with the times to remain popular’ Gwen Stacy sucked shit in the 1960s-1970s and was then killed off and defined by her death. Somehow she still wound up becoming a fan favourite by the 90s and 21st century. Spider-Gwen sucks as a character but not in concept. I never had a problem with the concept. But the idea that she needed to exist to keep Gwen popular is bullshit because Gwen had somehow become immensely popular in spite of being a nothing character. And that even presumes anyone needed to perform maintenance on Gwen to keep her popular. No we didn’t. She was an irrelevant character beyond her death. It’s like saying we need to change Uncle Ben or Bruce’s parents to keep them popular.

Gwen’s affect on Peter Parker was important for awhile but we aren’t that society anymore. It’s not a fucking societal concern! Putting aside how a 2014 movie did Gwen’s death just a few years before ITSV, Gwen’s death is about a universal human experience. Death, grief, moving on. Oh, I see. This halfwit mistakenly believes Gwen is an example of women in the refrigerator.

Gwen died because Peter had this perfect lovely girlfriend and everything was too great for him and they didn’t know how to write beyond that. An oversimplification. Gwen died because they needed to shake things up for sales in general. Because Conway shipped Peter with MJ. And a 20 year old Spidey in 1973 really was too young to be killed off. Oh and you know she was written like shit. Yeah that’s the part no one ever talks about. Gwen is played up as this underserving victim of a character but she sucked shit.

It’s almost the 2020s! So fucking what? People still lose loved ones in the 2020s? I’m not even saying Spider-Gwen should have died in ITSV or revolved around her counterpart dying. I’m saying this dumbass is wrong for bringing it up as though killing Gwen off is dated on principle. But this is the same moron who unironically said ‘I never connected to Spider-Man because he is a teenaged white male wish fulfilment fantasy’. I’m sure she got top marks in her gender studies class

‘sOme PpL nEEd 2 gEt oVa iTTTTTTT’ I genuinely wish this person would wake up mute someday.

‘We could do a whole movie about Spider-Gwen’. I don’t respect where this opinion is coming from but I don’t necesarilly disag- ‘Get Seanen Maguire to write it’…nevermind. This gets even worse when you consider Maguire had only been writing Gwen for literally 3 issues at the time this podcast was released. Of the back of three issues you are declaring this writer qualified to write an entire movie about the character? Not even Jason Latour who created her. I smell someone who just jumped on the bandwagon or worse is blinded by agenda and ideology.

‘Gwen could’ve done with 5 more minutes’ It’s not her movie! It’s Miles’ movie and secondarily Peter B’s movie because he is Miles mentor. It is through their mutual relationship that Miles learns to be Spider-Man and Peter learns to be Spider-Man again.

It never made sense for an 80 year old woman to be raising a 16 year old boy! Aunt May in the 1960s wasn’t in her 80s. She just looked that way because, duh, standards of health were different back then. A 40 year old now looks much younger and in better health than someone who potentially might’ve been born in the 19th century circa 1962! A working class woman no less…With chronic health problems! Even if she was in her mid-late 50s her looking like that was totally believable in context! And her raising Peter was also entirely believable depending upon how old Ben and May were when Richard and Mary were born. It’s not beyond possibility at all that there was 15-20 years separating Ben and his younger brother, meaning if Peter was born when Richard was 25, Ben and May would’ve been in their 40s. Thus by the time Peter was 15 they’d be in their 50s or 60s.

These idiots keep treating Peter from Miles’ universe as a bona fide version of 616 Peter when it’s blindingly obvious he’s supposed to be an idealized rendition of the character. A version intended to be a juxtaposition to the version we all know walking into the movie.

Peter B. Parker having a more traditional version of Aunt May as opposed to a more proactive and involved version has left him with a sense of giving up. Er…no. It’s pretty obvious Peter B. Parker is the Spider-Man we know and love who normally doesn’t give up but one string of failures after another has brought him to his lowest. But he rises back up again. Look Peter is supposed to be a representation of human beings. Human beings need people and need emotional support. When you lose those people and are alone you can go to a very dark place. That’s Peter B’s story. If Aunt May had been more involved but everything else went wrong (including her death) he’d have still wound up in the dark place he went to. Blonde Peter might’ve weathered May’s death better in theory but he had OTHER stuff in his life to keep him afloat. Peter B lost most everything. What horseshit it is to argue if Aunt May was different he’d have not given up.

There was no purpose for Aunt May being as old as she was or on the cusp of death in the original comics. Er…yeah there was. She was that old because it made her more vulnerable and thus accentuated the loss of her husband and the need for Peter to be her support network. It also internally justified why she was so frail and unwell. Old people usually have health problems. Duh! But then Bob admits there is a reason for those decisions. So he is contradicting himself.

Bob presumes Blonde Peter told Aunt May his secret even though there is no evidence in the movie to support that idea.

Kids today aren’t resentful of their grandparents like older generations were, that’s why Aunt May is played differently now. Um…Peter was never resentful of Aunt May in the first place. He sincerely loved her and felt he needed to pay her back for all she’d done for him.

‘Kids today have cool grandparents because 50% of them would have been hippies.’ Hippies aren’t cool. And never were. They were pretentious losers that hid behind causes as an excuse to do drugs and have lots of sex. Over half a century later the world they claimed to fight for and want to build has yet to materialise and in fact is in a lot of ways far worse off than it was before their generation rose to the seats of power. The hippy generation are part of the baby boomer generation that are so thoroughly mocked today. The people in power who’ve fucked up the job and housing market for consequent generations. These idiots literally spouted a dumbass theory earlier on about how first wave millenials have been thrown under the bus. Who do you think did that? The baby boomers, many of whom used to be hippies! And NONE of this demands Aunt May has to be different. I have no problem with her being different in ITSV. But the idea of someone who used to be a hippy being doting? Being a worry wart? Why the Hell is that a dated concept?

These idiots clearly view the world aggressively through an identitarian and group weighted lens as opposed to how the world really is. I.e. 7 billion+ individuals

There was a weird amount of focus upon gangsters in the Spec Spidey cartoon considering it was for kids. Not really, the show was reverential of the original comics. The original comics (which were for children) had lots of gangsters

To the people who bitch and moan about getting another Spider-Man it doesn’t take away from the one you had before. No one was complaining about Miles as another Spider-Man in this movie. People weren’t claiming it ruins the Raimi movies or something. People resent it in the comics because it waters down the brand and makes Spider-Man himself less special when he is an ONGOING character. It’d be one thing maybe if the torch was passed from person to person. But nowadays it’s literally all of them co-existing.

Blah blah bah symbolism of a young black boy fighting a big WHITE business MAN. Blah blah blah this is the type of bad guy Miles would fight in real life blah blah blah…Jesus Christ… these people really just buy that type of Kool-aid in bulk don’t they? As if Miles, were he ‘real’ wouldn’t fight anyone who’s doing bad things. FFS they just got done talking about Tombstone from the Spec cartoon. Tombstone is an African American! And he’s in this fucking movie. He’s not some weird fantastical guy, he’s a regular gangster who happens to be albino. That’s it. Miles fights him in this fucking movie! Miles first major adversary in the comics was the Prowler who was another African American. Miles wouldn’t JUST fight ‘evil white businessMEN’

‘As far as I know about Doc Ock from Superior Spider-Man, which is excellent’ Wow. So, as would be obvious with anyone with a working brain and some prior knowledge of Otto, Superior is garbage. And saying you are basing your assessments of Otto on Superior is like saying you have never known about the character

Doc Ock is in so many Spidey stories as a scientific assistant to other people because the Green Goblin is always either dead or completely untrustworthy. Bob really just said that huh? This is further proof Bob has read precious little Spider-Man material. Doc Ock is NOBODY’s assistant. Even in Secret Wars he had to be threatened into compliance by Doom himself when Ultron was his attack dog. Doc Ock isn’t recruited by other people for his genius, he is the mover and shaker. He recruits other people and is the man in charge. And who the fuck is looking to get the help of Norman Osborn because he’s a scientist? Not to mention Norman is untrustworthy, oh but Otto?????????? The guy who tried to nuke NYC???????? WTF is Bob talking about?

Since we are in the ‘age of heroes’ (whatever THAT means?) it is impossible for Spider-Man to not be mentored by some other hero. Er…yeah it is? This is obviously a defence of MCU Spider-Man and it holds no water. First of all DC and Marvel have had young heroes show up when there are a plethora of heroes around they’ve not had mentors. Second of all it’s entirely possible for Peter to not WANT a mentor and it’d be entirely believable that the other heroes might not see themselves as mentors or might mistrust him.

The Spider-Heroes take their grief and turn it into action. WHOA WHOA WHOA! Didn’t these guys say earlier that the movie preaches the heroes are more than their trauma? That they aren’t stapled to their origins? That they move on from it? What’s this change of tune all of a sudden?

Miles Dad was probably made into a cop to avoid having a difficult discussion about how the police would react to a black super hero or a black Spider-Man. Yeah, or it’s because you know…his Dad worked in law enforcement in the comics so you know…faithfulness. Also the police don’t discriminate against black heroes in the MCU except Luke Cage. Also, also not every fucking cop is racist. Also, also, also how would they know Miles is black his costume covers his whole body!

Miles Dad was super authoritarian. Dude. He didn’t like vigilantes and he followed basic rules like stopping not abusing police sirens. That’s hardly akin to being a jackbooted fascist.

Miles would’ve had a different relationship with authority and the police if his Dad hadn’t been a cop. Er…no not necessarily. First of all being the son of a cop doesn’t mean he’d have not experienced institutionalized racism from the police. Second of all even if he had experienced that he could still believe in justice and taking down obviously evil and dangerous people like Kingpin.

They never touched upon institutional racism from the police in Luke Cage which was for adults. Er, yes they did. The rapper in the later episodes of season 1 (the Bulletproof Love guy) stated he wasn’t going to call the police. The police were stopping and searching black men in their hunt for Cage. Black people wore shirts with holes in them in order to protect Cage and defy the cops. The rap mentioned how nobody was interested in protecting their neighbourhood.

Nobody wants the tell a superhero story about institutional racism within the authorities. Isn’t that literally Luke Cage’s origin? Didn’t Black Panther mention that earlier in the year ITSV was released.

I’m going to disagree that Miles fighting Kingpin was unnecessary because of the cultural connotations we talked about….God…You couldn’t just say ‘the main hero obviously has to defeat the main villain. Duh!’…

Dan Slott is a dang genius! As if you needed more proof these people are unqualified to talk about Spider-Man…

Spider-Verse’s (the comic’s) fan service is what happens when you get Spider-Man fans to do the story vs. ITSV. Nah fam. ITSV is what happens when you get real fans who are talented vs. Spider-Verse is what happens when you get a real fan who fundamentally misunderstands the characters and is a hack

There is no real Peter Parker. Who cares! The real Peter Parker is the original because he is the one everyone else is derivative of and therefore based upon. And fans AND creators and Marvel itself clearly care about that because they sure as fuck didn’t kill him off so Miles could replace him. They killed off the secondary and surplus Ultimate Peter Parker. Treating the original version as the true one doesn’t invalidate any other versions because they can still be great characters unto themselves. But given how disgustingly SJW this whole podcast has been I am unsurprised they go in for this participation trophy form of analysis where everything is equal all the time.

It also doesn’t invalidate the idea of Spider-Man being anyone. Spider-Man CAN be anyone. But not everyone can be Peter Parker. If we are going to say otherwise the praise these jackoffs lauded onto Miles for how his specific identity was explored is invalidated. Peter is Peter. Miles is Miles. They can both be Spider-Heroes worthy of the mantle.

Because Miles is a POC people who don’t look like Peter can believe they can be Spider-Man. I’m not arguing against Miles but seriously, that was the case before Miles existed. The showrunner of Spider-Man 1994 was an African American and he related to Peter Parker in the 1960s. Poc can relate to Spider-Man regardless of skin colour.

The original comic book version of Spider-Man isn’t the true one just because he is the original. Er….yeah. It seriously does precisely BECAUSE he is the version all the other ones are derivative of. Hence he’s from the PRIME universe. Shit the Spider-Verse comic book the movie takes mild inspiration from literally says that. Granted it then contradicts itself but the point still stands. Because he is the original one he IS the true one because without him the others would not exist. He is the canonical one!

The true 616 Spider-Man will never be in any adaptation because there is too much continuity…Yeah…so? How does that make him not the original one in the broad context though when you compare every version?

Continuity is the killer of enjoyment when it comes to movies. No, this podcast is the killer of enjoyment. And btw, maybe ask all the people who went to see Infinity War earlier in the year ITSV was released and ask them if continuity ruined that movie for them. This is such a lazy, myopic attitude.

If continuity is used to exclude people it is bad. Good job nobody was ever saying ITSV shouldn’t exist because Miles isn’t Peter then

Infinity War is a fine movie even if you do not know who everybody is. No it isn’t. Infinity War is wholly inaccessible if you do not know who everyone is because it’s throwing dozens of characters at you with little-no context provided.

Black Panther is better than Infinity War, this proves continuity is bad. No. Black Panther not having to have it’s story wrapped up in everything else in the wider universe was what helped make it better. FFS, Winter Soldier is better than Avengers 2012 and that still relies upon plenty of continuity. Civil War is better than Thor the Dark World and the latter has way less continuity than the former. It’s not about having continuity it’s about how you use it. Black Panther was world building in it’s own corner. It wasn’t plugged in so directly to the wider universe the way Homecoming or FFH was. THAT’s what made it good but that’s not a continuity issue that’s a world building issue.

Continuity is toxic when you use it to claim a long running fantasy series didn’t satisfy you. Uh huh, hey do you wanna ask all the people who hated Game of Thrones’ final season that?

Oh, and one of the pundits, the one who bleeted on about Spidey as a ‘tEEnAgE WHITE mAle wish fUlLfiLmEnt fantasy!’ is a Hollywood actress. Now her views make waaaaaaaaaay too much sense

In conclusion…Sigh…For a podcast called School of Movies I think these guys need to go back to kindergarten.

21 notes · View notes

ehstarwar · 5 years ago

Text

the gentler gamester is the soonest winner (1/4)

to sport would be as tedious as to work

"I have a seat thief.” Rey said, clutching the pen harder in her grip.

“A what?”

“A seat thief. Someone who steals my unassigned-assigned seat. It’s been going on all semester in my night class. It’s very frustrating.”

Ben steals Rey's seat in class (a crime akin to high treason) and Rey refuses to go down without a fight.

Rating: Teen and Up

Word Count: 2K

Read on AO3

Notes: this is an experience dear to my heart and i hope all you fellow over-thinkers will agree with me. in fact, Rey's civility about this whole situation requires a lot of self restraint on my part. (so you're welcome, Ben ಠ_ಠ )

Chapter 1: to sport would be as tedious as to work

Rey glanced at the clock for the sixth time this hour.

5:22. Still time… probably.

She didn’t want to seem impatient or like a bad worker, but there was only so much one could do at a coffee counter when no one has been in it for the last hour and a half. She cleaned the espresso machine twice, refilled the sugar packet and every size of cup, even swept behind the counter and in front of it. All of this was supposed to help the time pass until she and Kaydel could close up and head out for the evening, and yet, here she was, still eight minutes to go.

Kaydel glanced at her and pointedly looked down at the pen Rey was incessantly tapping against the register.

“Everything okay?” Kaydel asked. Rey knew that Kaydel was polite and was probably asking this anticipating an ‘Oh, yeah, everything is fine’ then moving on from the conversation all together. But not Rey. She had a grievance to air and Kaydel had unwittingly opened the flood gates.

“I have a seat thief.” Rey said, clutching the pen harder in her grip. Kaydel looked back up at her with a very confused expression that makes Rey wish she had her phone out.

“A what?”

“A seat thief. Someone who steals my unassigned-assigned seat. It’s been going on all semester in my night class. It’s very frustrating.”

“Rey… its October. You’ve been fighting with someone, about a seat, for weeks now?”

Rey gulps. A downside to actually being able to get this off her chest is how unbelievably petty this all sounds out loud.

“It’s a very nice seat; the perfect one! Front row, so I don’t have to worry about seeing the board, right handed table cuz getting stuck at the left handed ones are the worst, and it’s close enough to the door that I don’t get stampeded while trying to make it out in a timely manner. It’s the perfect seat and my seat thief continues to steal it from me because he’s a stupid… seat stealer,” Rey finishes. Kaydel is now looking up at her as if Rey is speaking in a foreign language.

“Okay then… isn’t your night class right across the street? Don’t you get there like super early?” Kaydel asks. Rey throws her hands in the air.

“I do! I get there ridiculously early! But he’s even earlier. Because he’s a criminal mastermind, I assume.”

The alert on Rey’s phone goes off indicating that it’s time to officially close up and head to class, so she works with a honed proficiency and is able to walk out of the doors exactly at 5:37. Rey fast-walks, but doesn’t run (she’s not that crazy) into the building and into the room, only to be met with his dark stare.

Him.

Mr. Seat Thief.

Tall, dark, and criminal.

They’re the only two people in the classroom and Rey wonders if he can feel the simmering rage rolling off her. She hopes he can. She hopes that he feels the daggers she’s throwing with her eyes. She hopes that he knows that, regardless of how stupid hot he is (with that luscious hair and hands that could cover her entire waist), that he is a thief and Rey has some very choice words for him that shouldn’t be spoken in polite society.

His head nods to acknowledge her, and despite Rey’s slight urge to flip him off, she returns the gesture and sits her semi-official seat. It’s towards the back, with a pole obstructing the right side of the board, and one seat over from the furthest to the board. Rey tries to temper down her rage, but the silent class room eats at her.

She’s about to march right up to Hottie McSeat Stealer, but a group of kids file in the class, followed closely by Professor Tano. Rey thinks that yelling obscenities at another student wouldn’t give Professor Tano the good impression she desperately needs every authoritative figure to have of her.

So Rey fights the silent war inside of herself and tries not to focus too much energy on hoping Seat Thief’s pencil breaks.

“Rey, your class isn’t until six; why the hell would you leave now?” Finn asks, incredulous.

“Rey is sort of fighting this dude for her seat. She thinks she has to get there an hour early to beat him in this game of musical chairs,” Rose’s voice is level and filled with none of the mirth Rey’s definitely would. She imagines that this is what it would feel like if she had a mother who was uninterested in her endeavors, but still knew enough about them to warn her father.

“It isn’t a game. I’m winning my seat back. I won’t be able to focus if I don’t,” Rey says determinedly. She wraps another scarf around her neck before turning to face her friends. Finn is giving Rey the same look Kaydel gave her last week. Rose is flipping through a text book and ignoring the inane argument that feels inevitable now.

“Rey-Rey, aren’t you a little old to be fighting a boy about a seat?” Poe’s voice calls out from the bathroom.

“Why don’t you pay more attention to the amount of gel you put in your hair instead of my battle,” Rey calls back. She hears an incredulous gasp from behind the door and smirks to herself.

“Poe’s got a point. Have you considered talking to him and asking him to move before declaring all out war?” Finn asks.

“And say what? ‘I know we’re both at the collegiate level, but please get out of my seat because I’m about to have a temper tantrum akin to a four-year-old who was told it’s time for bed’? The only way to fight this is like adults. Passive-Aggressive comments until one of us kill the other or graduate. And I’m unwilling to wait until May for this to be over so… passive-aggressiveness will have to do,” Rey stalks towards the door, ignoring the protest from her friends and heads out to her night class a while hour and a half before six.

It’s going to be a long night.

The classroom is blessedly empty when Rey arrives and she has the pleasure of taking her rightful place in her seat. She’d gloat to anyone who asked, but she was alone and not crazy enough to talk to people who weren’t there (in public at least).

Thirty minutes before the start of class, a dethroned, no-longer-seat stealer enters the door way. His eyes are wide when he sees Rey in (what he thinks should be) his seat. She’s got a shit eating grin, typing away on her laptop, and trying to repress the urge to shout ‘Ha! In your face!’

Instead of move his defeated self to the seat she now thinks of as the loser seat, he sits right. next. to. her.

An empty class room. Roughly seventy-five seats.

Just them. Next to each other.

Mortal enemies. Thrust into strangely intimate quarters.

It’s… a lot.

Rey thinks this would be easier if he weren’t so beautiful. If his hair didn’t fall so perfectly in his face. If his plush lips didn’t look like they could suck the life right out of her. Easier, Rey thinks.

As it stands, Seat Stealer opens his expensive laptop and Rey finds herself wanting to see what he’s typing. Just to see if he’s keeping a physical list of the times he’s won and the times she’s won, but that’s ridiculous. He is an adult and so is she and keeping a juvenile record of whose won would be insane.

(Rey keeps her tally on the second to last page of her notebook.)

Instead, Rey hold steady, keeping her attention firmly on her own laptop and biding the time until class starts. Student begin to file in and it’s almost possible for Rey to forget the strange man beside her.

Almost.

Because of course he smells amazing; like fancy coffee beans and soap products that Gwyneth Paltrow would rave about and warm. Rey doesn’t think she’s ever met a person who smells warm before, but he did. And it was unnerving and a little scary, so Rey really can’t fault herself for having to re-read the same sentence thirteen times.

His hands are also massive and Rey is decidedly not going to think about what he could do with them.

Seat Stealer is stoic, dutifully typing away, none the wiser to Rey’s internal clusterfuck that is her brain.

Dr. Tano comes in and starts the lesson, and Rey is finally able to focus on something other than Seat Stealer and she’s honestly considering writing the English department and telling them they need to give her a rise. While English isn’t Rey’s favorite subject, it’s the lesser evil of the humanities the university is forcing her to take and she actually finds that she enjoys it. The depth of the conversations, the possibilities within writing; it’s complex and individually based and a world away from the math equations that take up the majority of her civil engineering course work.

Class is going perfectly fine, even better now that Rey is back in her seat until Dr. Tano decides to drop a little bomb on Rey’s seat-reclaiming venture.

“As you all know, midterm grades will be released this coming Monday. I’m sure many of you will have questions about comments, and while I’m happy to answer any questions, I do ask that you contact my assistant Ben about more clerical information. He’s read quite a bit of my chicken scratch before, so I’m sure he could answer any question you have as well…” Dr. Tano moves her hand to indicate where Ben is, or rather should be, but is in fact occupied by Rey.

Seat Stealer (or Ben) raises his hand sheepishly to show that he is the one people should come to with question and no the red-faced, sweaty blob that Rey has devolved into.

Dr. Tano wraps up class and students begin filing out the door, paying no mind that Rey was not the first one out despite her proximity to the exit, a once thought of benefit to this particular seat. She waits until the majority of students have left or lined up to speak with Dr. Tano, before she even dares to look at him.

Ben is packing up, placing his things delicately in a bag that probably cost the same as a semesters worth of tuition. Rey decides she must right this wrong. If she doesn’t do it now, she will absolutely chicken out and Hottie-Seat-Stealer-Ben will forever think of her as the poor girl who stole his seat on the wrong day.

“You were stealing my seat because your the TA… and TA’s sit up front…” Rey says to him. She would typically start with a bit more normal greeting (Hi! or Hello! or I’d like to see you shirtless or pant-less or both), but feels that their predicament merits forgoing that courtesy.

“I’m sorry?” He says, looking over to her. God, his voice.

“You were sitting her because you’re the TA,” She repeats. Ben shrugs as if to say ‘sort of’ before shaking his head.

“It’s really no big deal, it’s just convent for Ashoka- Sorry, Dr. Tano. I think she just got kind of used to me being right there. But, again, no big deal,” Ben says. She want’s to thank him for being so incredibly blasé about the whole thing, but Rey, being Rey, can’t let it go.

“You really should have told me to bugger off. I mean, I ended up being the Seat Thief I assumed you were! I really am sorry.”

“‘Seat Thief’?” He questions, lips upturned in the corner. “I don’t think you could steal something that doesn’t actually belong to me.”

Rey’s cheeks are red, she’s sure of it. “Well, regardless, I apologize. I completely relinquish all seat-beholden right to you. For the semester, at least,” Rey laughs nervously. The slight twitch of Ben’s lips have formed into a broad smile and Rey now regrets the silent time she’s wasted on him earlier. They could’ve talked and she could’ve heard his voice and maybe have even made him smile, but no. She spent it without doing any of those things and she wants to punch herself for letting that happen.

“I appreciate that. But I still don’t think I’d ever tell you to bugger off,” Ben says.

“Well… good then. Thank you,” Rey says, looking towards the ground to hide the smile pinching her cheeks. “As an apology, I’ll save you seat for you next class. Make sure no other Seat Thieves intrude.”

“That’d be kind of you,” His voice is low and sweet and Rey wants to swim in it. “I’ll… see you around…?” Ben extends a hand towards her.

“Rey… Niima,” Rey says, taking his hand. It’s large and firm around her and Rey knows why he smells warm; he is warm. Deliciously so.

“Ben Solo.”

#ben solo #kylo ren #reylo #ben solo x rey #kylo ren x rey #adam driver #daisy ridley #star wars #fan fiction #my work #modern setting

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hellolittleogre · 5 years ago

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Happy Holidays and have some fic!

Home made from me to you, the continuation of Billy x Goody College AU, Idiots in Love pt 2. Thank you all for this year, for encouragement and flailing and AUs.

May you have some days of rest, peace and food however you do or do not celebrate.

Billy was hungover, feeling like an idiot and nursing a large cup of coffee and browsing the campus bookshop for a suitable valentines card for Jujin. He hadn't told her about the whole Vasquez debacle, still feeling pretty fragile about it and not able to stand her reaction of incredulous pity, exasperation and downright ridicule that was no doubt coming his way.

The first valentines card Billy had ever sent, or rather had made, with chubby fingers sticky with white glue and glitter, way back in playschool, had been for Jujin and his mother, and so it felt like a good gesture. A “no hard feelings” kind of gesture. A “I guess you kind of outed me but it turned out alright in the end, and all in all I’m kind of glad to have it done because it would have been difficult as hell to introduce our mother to my legally wedded husband and our adopted kids 15 years down the line, so it’s all good, put please for the love of God don’t do it again” kind of gesture.The trick was to find a card which was nice, yet still patently ridiculous, since nobody wanted a sincere valentines card from their brother. He was choosing between a card with a very grave looking cartoon T-Rex holding a heart, and a card with a big yellow rose saying “HAVE A GAY VALENTINE!” which seemed funny, but also slightly passive aggressive, when his eye caught on a postcard.

It wasn't specifically a valentines card, instead it was a water colour depiction of a hazy moon, full and white, over the water of a calm pond. Little wisps of cloud were trailing around the moon, softening it, almost like a veil, and muted green tones around the edge of the water-mirror hinted at lush vegetation. On the back it said La Lune, Metropolitan Museum of Art. It wasn't strictly speaking a valentines card but it was so Goodnight that Billy didn't hesitate for a moment and left the shop with it and the t-Rex valentine in secure possession.

Delivering it to Goodnight was easy. They all had their cubbyholes in the lobby and leaving for lectures on the 14th Billy quickly looked around to make sure he was alone before sticking the unassuming white envelope into the cubbyhole. He had settled for printing Will You Be My Valentine? and nothing else at the back, figuring that was mysterious enough without driving Goody into a frenzy trying to figure out who wrote it. He'd never squashed little handwritten notes into a crush’s locker in high school so he figured he was owed the experience. All day there was a little jitter of excitement and he firmly ignored the little voice that said that if he had any balls at all he'd give it to Goodnight in person and come clean.

Coming home he immediately spotted the card lying on Goody's desk. It was the hardest thing he’d ever done not to look at it and just walk over to his bed like normal. Goody seemed in a good mood, humming softly and hanging out the window smoking and picking up Billy’s valentine’c card and tapping his fingers against it. It was sort of a breathtaking feeling. He had done that, he'd caused that little dreamy smile that hovered just at the edge of Goody's mouth, and it made him want to preen and puff up.

“You want a chocolate?” Goodnight asked leaning into the room to look at Billy.

“You got chocolates?” Billy asked, crestfallen,and tried not to feel upstaged by Sam again. As if Billy was not upstaged by Sams whole existence.

“They were giving them out for free at the health center,” Goody shrugged and pushed a small pink box towards Billy.

“At the health center?” Billy asked and took one. “Are you feeling ok? Not ill?”

“No, I’m fine, I have a standing appointment with a hmm, uh, a counselor,” he shrugged it away looking a little pink so Billy elected to let it slide in favour of stuffing his mouth with chocolate. His mom had always told him he would grow out of his sweet-tooth but so far it hadn't happened.

“Happy valentines,” Goody said with a smirk and Billy tossed him a chocolate. “Any roses and flowers?”

Billy huffed. “Not that I know of. They could of course have gotten delivered to my other dorm room, with my other roommate.”

“Yeah, that place is probably so full you can't even see the floor,” Goodnight said with a bark of laughter.

“And they're all from your mother,” Billy returned, pleasantly warmed by Goody’s slender fingertips against the shiny surface of the card and his attention.

“Too bad she's wasting her time when all you want is my daddy's dick.”

Heat exploded all over Billy's face. It might be the way Goody's mouth curled around the word daddy, all fat and satisfied and filthy, his crooked smile, or hearing him saying “dick” that casually, or too close to what Billy actually wanted for him to control himself, but he blushed so hard he could physically feel his cheeks pulse and his eyes dropped immediately to the hands in his lap.

The silence was deafening.

He could hear Goodnight moving but he didn't think he could look up even if he was offered good money for it.

“Aw, shit Billy. Shit, I'm so sorry. I talk too much, everyone says so. I didn't mean to…”Goody's hand was warm on his shoulder and Billy darted a glance at his face before looking away again.

“‘S OK,” he managed, all cotton mouthed.

Goody was just there, close. If Billy leaned any closer he could push his face into his crotch. Mouth at the fly and unzip him, sneak one hand up under his t-shirt and fit his palm to the crest of his hip bone. Would Goody say no?Or would he let him?

“Lets just see if you got any mail though,yeah? Did you check your mail?”

Goody ushered him down to the lobby, dithering about this and that, leaning more heavily on the French than he used to, a sure sign of how flustered he was. Billy was still feeling the smarting sting of his previous stupidity, as well as the whole mess about Vasquez and wondering how to take it back or bring it up again. He didn't want Goody to assume he was carrying some hopeless torch for Vasquez, or that he was his one true love and would never look at anybody else, he just didn't want Goody to think that the boy he had a crush on was Goodnight.

If he hadn't been so surprised he would have thought of better lie, like the boy in the coffee shop or the tall guy who checked books at the library or basically anybody else other than someone both Billy and Goodnight talked to every day.

His cubbyhole had an unexpectedly rich yield with a card from his mother, and a pizza flier with a two for one offer but Billy's attention was distracted by a chocolate box at the very bottom of the drawer. He pulled it out and looked at it. It didn't look like a commercial offer but there wasn't a card or note and he kept turning it over and frowning.

“Did you get one of these?” he asked Goody, waving the box and Goodnight frowned and shook his head. “There is no note,” he said, turning the box over again and Goody bent down to pick up a folded piece of paper by his foot.

“Maybe this?” he started and then trailed off. “Its...uh. Its from Vasquez. Cool! That’s uh, really cool.Chocolates from your crush on valentines! Wow!” Goody said with a bright smile, handing the note to Billy. It was handwritten in an uneven scrawl: Happy Valentines, enjoy! / Vasquez

Billy stared at it with narrowed eyes. He was 90% certain Vasquez wasn’t the type to buy chocolates for Valentines for the person he was dating, let alone a friend. He was also 90% sure that if Vas was trying to get into his pants it would be through the means of a bottle of tequila and a frank question rather than what looked like Mexican Ferrero-Roche.With Goody heading back to their room Billy clutched his trove to his chest and fished out his phone. Vas picked up on the second ring.

“Hey Chaparrito, how’s it going?”

“Why the fuck do I have chocolates from you?” Billy said, never one for circumspection, and Alejandro laughed.“Its my abuelita, man. She gets them from her work and always picks up at least two cartons of chocolate, they are left-overs from last year, so she sends a ton to my ma. She says that when I was in pre-school I had so many novias there weren’t enough to go around. And they were all called Maria.” He sounded nostalgic.

Billy frowned even harder.“Your grandma has sent me old chocolates because she thinks I’m your bitch?”

“Dude, that is not what novia means. Also if I had bitches then Emma would be my bitch, and you would be my side-bitch. At best.”

“Aren’t I fucking lucky,” Billy groused and Vasquez made an indignant sound.

“Hey cabron, you could just say thank you.I could have given those to at least three girls in my course. I could even have let those go into the bottomless hole that is Josh, but instead I hauled ass all over campus to stick those up your letterbox, so now you had better appreciate your not even expired chocolates.”

“Ugh, I’m so touched. Your grandma chocolates are the most romantic thing to ever happen to me.”

“You’re an ingrate, shorty. Did you get one of those pizza leaflets? Josh and I are using one to go and crash Emma and Mathew’s valentines date, you should bring Goodnight and come.”

“Is Red coming too?”

“Yeah but he’s going as his own date. Says two pizzas and he might not get hungry again after half an hour.”

“All right, if they have their date in the student pizzeria hey deserve to have it crashed.”

Goodnight was hanging out of the window and smoking when Billy reached their room, Billy tossed his jacket at him and waved the leaflet.“Come on, we’re getting pizza and crashing Emma and Mathew’s valentines date.”

“We are?” Goody asked, picking up his coat.

“Absolutely, I have a two for one pizza offer and nobody I’d rather spend it on. I’ll even pay for your soda.”

“Oh, Billy,” Goodnight rolled his eyes. “You sure do know how to treat a fella.”

“World’s okayest roommate. You can stick it on a mug for my birthday.”

Goodnight’s hand landed on the back of his neck, warm and broad as he leaned over and gently bumped their foreheads together, their noses nearly brushing. Warmth zipped up and down Billy’s whole body. It was like being back at first week when Billy had jumped at the slightest touch, his heart doing an eager little somersault in his chest, and his tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth.

“You, mon ami, are so much more than “okay”,” Goodnight said warmly and released Billy to get his shoes on and Billy stuck behind him all the way down to the street to give himself time to stop blushing and get all of his limbs back under control.

Mathew and Emma had indeed been dumb enough to have their romantic valentines date at the student pizza place and although Emma’s face promised murder it was a fun evening. Vasquez and Faraday kept trying to trump each other with bad dating stories, Vasquez winning with the story about how he had managed to commit pre-school polygamy with all the girls in his creche and then got into terrible trouble when they all found out and he and his best friend (the Cyrano to his Casanova) had been forced to hide from the tiny mob of pissed-off five-year olds under the pillows in the nap room until his dad came to collect him.

It made Billy laugh so much he got the hiccoughs and nearly fell off the bench and Vasquez was forced to reach out and pull him up by the scruff of his neck, putting an arm around him to make sure he wasn’t falling off again, and Billy looked up from laughing so hard he was literally snorting orange juice through his nose and saw Goodnight looking at him with a brittle smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes, and he remembered he was supposed to be in love with Vasquez and perhaps not laugh so hard at his romantic failings.

“I’ll see you Thursday,” he called out to Vasquez when the groups separated, on Thursdays they both had a midday gap in lectures that they usually used for going to the gym.“It’s a date, short stack,” Vas responded cheerfully and blew him a kiss before putting an arm around Josh to support him around an icy patch on the road.“A date uh?” Goodnight said, smiling as they walked home and Billy looked at his feet and shrugged, his ears heating up. He was really going to have to find a way to get himself out of this one.

#christmas post #fic #mag7 #Billy x goodnight college AU #idiots in love #college au

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justheretobreakthings · 6 years ago

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Remember Me - Chapter 19

(First Chapter) (Previous Chapter) (Next Chapter)

Word Count: 4,353 (Total Word Count: 75,456) Read on AO3

Story Summary:

It was strange enough for the paladins of Voltron to have found another human this far from home, locked in a Galra prison. But it was stranger still when this human insisted that he knew them, and even that he was the former red paladin of Voltron.

That couldn’t possibly be true, could it? After all, if this Keith was actually a part of the Voltron team, then why does nobody remember him?

Chapter Preview:

Lance laughed. “So, have you just been spying on all of us this whole dinner?”

“No,” Shiro said. “I’ve been people-watching. Much more socially acceptable.”

“Uh-huh.”

Shiro shrugged. “What can I say. Feel like it’s kinda my job to keep an eye on the lot of you. Someone has to make sure you kids keep yourselves out of trouble.” He suddenly frowned, squinting across the room. “Speaking of which…”

Lance followed his gaze and spotted Keith walking alongside one of the serving tables. Or, staggering, more like. He was moving slowly, hands on the edge of the table, taking awkward, lurching steps. “Oh God,” Lance said, rolling his eyes. “You know, I had a feeling Mullet wasn’t the sort of guy who could hold his liquor.”

“How are you liking the nunvill, Number Three?”

Lance spun around to face Coran at the sound of his voice, then his eyes darted between the cup in his hand and the royal advisor’s expectant face. “Wait, this is nunvill?!” he said, incredulous. “It doesn’t taste a thing like it did last time!”

“Yes, it seems human taste buds aren’t well suited to appreciating nunvill’s intense flavor,” Coran said. “More’s the pity. However, the buoying qualities of the beverage are really too good for you paladins to have to miss out on, so I recruited Hunk and Shiro as taste testers to figure out a fruit juice blend that would be more, ah, palatable to you humans. Thought I’d debut it here. It’s always good party etiquette for the guest to bring along a dish or beverage for the host to serve. Keep that in mind.”

“Well, you did a good job. I can barely taste it. What is this, like, five percent alcohol?”

“One percent nunvill, although I don’t know how that compares in strength to your ‘alcohols’ on Earth. Considering that a single glass of nunvill can effectively de-rust an average-sized ion cannon…”

“Yeah, no, that’s - that’s strong,” Lance said. “I’ll try and be careful with it.”

“Good lad,” said Coran with a satisfied nod. “It’s nice that some of my efforts aren’t going to waste today.”

Lance grimaced. “Coran, you’re not too upset about us not doing the air show, are you?”

“No, no, of course not!” Coran said with a laugh. “It simply wouldn’t make sense to do the show anymore after that battle with the Holvarthans.”

“Oh, good. I was worried that you’d be - ”

“And sure, I may have poured my heart into that choreography to put on as elegant a show as possible, and spent a full day working on those new additions. And do I enjoy getting to play the roles of director and narrator and producer and everything I could have been if a career in show business had ever taken off for me? Of course I do! But upset? Bah! I’m not upset! Not at all, my boy, not at all!” He looked down at his own cup of nunvill-juice. “You know, I think I preferred the stronger stuff…”

He sighed and left without a goodbye, leaving Lance shaking his head to himself. And he’d thought Pidge could be passive-aggressive. Clearly, she’d been bested by a new master.

His eyes roved around the room, eyes out for his fellow paladins. Most everyone in the room was engaged in conversation; the Thotirnians were talkative people on the whole, it seemed, and they moved about the room easily to dart between conversation partners, the gangly limbs on their reptilian bodies that seemed to contain triple the number of joints as humans no doubt helping in the endeavor. The banquet hall, too, seemed to have been arranged for optimum sociability. The dinner was served buffet-style, but with the dishes scattered across different tables all over the hall rather than on one long serving station. There weren’t many tables for actually eating, and only enough chairs to seat about a third of the occupants in the hall. The majority Thotirnians apparently preferred to eat while standing and walking about.

Fortunately all the dishes served were basically finger food, Lance noted as he turned to a table refill his plate with a particularly sweet dish that resembled half-sized spring rolls in appearance. His focus at this party had been more the food than the people. The scaly, oblong-faced Thotirnians weren’t particularly appealing to flirt with, and their culture seemed perfectly okay with interrupting speakers in conversation and cutting each other off, making story-telling difficult.

They were honestly just a bit exhausting. The introverted Pidge must have been getting irritable by this point, and even Shiro got worn out by chatter at times. And Keith…

Well, Lance actually hadn’t paid much attention to Keith’s whereabouts during this whole gathering. The mullet wasn’t exactly a social butterfly. A social pill bug, perhaps. Deciding to check and make sure Voltron’s guest hadn’t gone and imploded from oversocialization, Lance started weaving through the crowd, keeping his eyes peeled for the silvery armor.

He spotted Keith after a few minutes, standing near one of the few empty tables that was available for dining rather than serving food, leaning awkwardly against a chair as if he wasn’t sure what to do with his legs. He was in the middle of a talk with three Thotirnians, and judging by his expression, whatever they were discussing wasn’t Keith’s preferred topic. Lance casually sauntered over to listen in.

“So would that make you some sort of soldier for the Voltron alliance?” one of the Thotirnians, the tallest of the three, was asking. “Are you a conscript?”

“No, that’s not - I do more than just help out in battles,” Keith said. “I mean, I’m living in the castle and - ”

“You are a tenant?”

“No, no, I - it’s not like I’m paying them rent or - look, I’m an ally, but, like, a close ally. I live with the paladins and I do my part in the battles and around the castle and - and stuff like that.”

The Thotirnians were quiet a moment, expressions pensive, before realization crossed the face of one of them and he spoke up: “Ah, so you are a servant.”

“Oh my god,” Keith muttered, closing his eyes and lifting his cup to his lips to drink.

“What are we talking about over here?” Lance asked, moving in so he was standing right at Keith’s side.

The tallest Thotirnian gestured with a wave of his hand toward Keith. “We were simply inquiring as to this one’s relationship to Voltron. He is obviously not a paladin, you see, nor a soldier from any military we were aware of, and yet he flew with your team in battle.”

“Ah, well,” Lance said with a shrug. “Let’s just say our relationship with ol’ Keithy here is ‘complicated’ and leave it at that. Right, Keith?” Keith grimaced and took another gulp of his drink.

The Thotirnian nodded solemnly. “Understandable. It must be a strange transition, putting a Galra into your servitude, but - ”

He was interrupted by the sound of a spluttering cough as Keith choked on his drink. Lance thumped him on the back, and Keith managed a couple of gasping breaths before asking in a strangled voice, “How - how did you know I’m Galra?”

“Well, your smell,” the Thotirnian said, a hint of annoyance in his tone as if he were explaining something patently obvious. “It is fainter than most Galra, but it’s there. And your blood is not as warm as that of the paladins.”

“How can you tell - ?”

“I can see it quite clearly.”

“And your eyes,” one of the other Thotirnians added. “Those irises - I have only ever seen the color on Galra, haven’t you?” The other two nodded in agreement.

“Yes, they are quite frightening,” the first one said.

“All right, cool,” Lance said, before clearing his throat. “Hey, have you three heard about how the flux capacitors on the Lions work? It’s super cool, you should go ask the green or yellow paladin about it. They’d love to share some of the gritty details.”

“Really?” said the Thotirnian, brow raised - or, the ridge over his eyes angled in such a way that a brow would be raised if one was there. “It sounds interesting. Thank you, we will search them out.”

The Thotirnians left, and with a sigh, Keith collapsed into a nearby chair and ran a hand over his face. “Thanks for that,” he muttered.

“No problem,” Lance said with a shrug. “I’m kinda guessing parties aren’t really your scene, huh?”

“I had been getting better at them,” Keith sighed. He took another swig from his drink and then set the empty cup down with a thunk. “It’s easier when I actually know what I’m doing at them. I - I thought maybe coming to this thing with you guys was gonna feel a bit like old times…” He brought his index finger up to idly brush around the rim of his cup. “Guess that’s not really a possibility anymore. I gotta get another drink.”

“You haven’t been drinking too much of that stuff, have you?” Lance asked. “It’s weak, but it’s still nunvill. So, you know, space alcohol.”

“I can handle alcohol,” Keith said, rolling his eyes.

Lance snorted. “Oh, please. You can’t even handle milk.”

“That’s not even - whatever,” Keith said. He stood up from the table. “I’m drinking, and I’ve been drinking. Only way I’m getting through this party. You can go ask Pidge about her flux component, leave me be.”

“Flux capacitor,” Lance corrected. “And they’re not real. Did you really not - dude, that was a Back to the Future reference, don’t you…?” He shook his head in exasperation at Keith’s blank stare. “Wow, man. Whatever, I guess. Enjoy your drinks.”

“I will.” With a languid wave of his hand Keith left, and Lance resumed his wandering. He eventually found himself near Allura and stuck around for a while to listen in as she fielded questions from curious Thotirnians about the other planets in the alliance. He even helped answer a couple himself, to give Allura’s voice a break, although there weren’t many he could. He resolved to start making an effort to pay better attention during meetings - a resolution that he had already made a dozen times over in the past and never stuck to, but this time surely he could follow it through.

Eventually he grew bored, though, so he politely ducked out of the group and scanned the crowd for the other paladins. Shiro was the first he spotted, by himself, leaning against a wall with a drink in his hand, eyes roving about the room.

“Having a good time?” Lance asked as he approached.

“Perfectly mediocre,” Shiro replied.

“Ah, well.” Lance leaned against the wall next to him. “At least the food’s good.”

“That’s true. I think I’ve seen Hunk go to every table in this place at least twice. And you see how Pidge is carrying her helmet around two-handed like that?” He pointed across the crowd, and Lance followed his finger to peer at her. “She stole a bunch of those rolls with the jam fillings and hid them in her helmet. Guess she wanted to take them back for later. She really thinks she’s being subtle.”

Lance laughed. “So, have you just been spying on all of us this whole dinner?”

“No,” Shiro said. “I’ve been people-watching. Much more socially acceptable.”

“Uh-huh.”

Shiro sighed and pulled himself away from the wall, setting off toward Keith, and Lance decided to follow. When they reached him, he had just made it across the whole table and had stepped away from it, arms out slightly at his side to steady himself. “Hey, bud,” Shiro said, reaching out a hand to take Keith’s arm. “Are you doing okay?”

“I’m great,” Keith said, flashing him a smile. It was clear instantly just how flushed his face was, and his eyes seemed to take a second to locate Shiro’s face before slurring, “This is - ‘s a good party, Sh’ro. Everyone’s fun.”

Shiro raised a brow. “Huh. Keith, how much have you had to drink tonight?”

“I dunno,” Keith answered. “I had - hmm. There was a cup…” He frowned. “I d’nno what happened to that.”

“Damn, he’s really gone,” Lance said. “He wasn’t like this earlier.”

“How much earlier we talking?” Shiro asked.

“A while? Not sure. He, uh, he said he’s gotta drink a bit to get through the party, and some of the Thoti-, um, the Thor-, the alien dudes, they were giving him a little bit of a hard time, so…”

Shiro frowned and looked to Keith, who didn’t seem to have been listening and was instead staring in wonder at the ceiling. “Keith, are you having a tough time at this dinner?”

“Mmmmm, yeah,” Keith said. “S’okay, though. The juice is good. Shiro, ‘ve you tried the juice? Ya gotta try it, Shirooooo…”

“All right,” Shiro said. “I’m taking him back to the castle.” He threw an arm around Keith’s shoulders, and Keith leaned into it instantly, eyes lidding sleepily. “Lance, could you let Allura know where we went?”

“Wait, you’re leaving?” said Lance.

“Well, Keith doesn’t seem to be in any state to be up and about, and he definitely can’t get back to the castle on his own. I have to leave.”

Lance paused, gaze flicking between Shiro and Keith, the former’s arm securely around the latter to steady him as he slumped comfortably into his grip. “Hey, um, I can take him.”

“Thanks, Lance, but you don’t have to - ”

“No, no, it’s fine,” Lance insisted. He slipped his own arm around Keith’s back to tug him away from Shiro. “You’re the Black Paladin, you should really stick around ‘til this thing’s wrapped up. And I’m feeling pretty sleepy, been wanting to head back anyway.” He yawned for emphasis, and beside him, Keith yawned too.

Shiro hesitated, frown deepening, but finally he nodded. “All right,” he said slowly. “Just put him in his bedroom and try to make sure he doesn’t make a mess or fall on his face or anything.”

“Will do, Shiro,” Lance said, giving him a thumbs-up before turning away and dragging Keith beside him. “Come on, you idiot, let’s get you back.”

“‘Kay,” Keith said, falling into step obligingly, and already Lance decided that drunk Keith was leagues better to deal with than migraine-y Keith. Drunk Keith didn’t need to make it a point to be stubborn for the sake of stubbornness.

It turned out, though, that drunk Keith was just as unsteady on his feet as migraine-y Keith, and as they walked back toward the castle under the darkening sky, it became increasingly obvious just how much of a lightweight Keith was. At one point, he mumbled something incoherent, knocked his head onto Lance’s paultron with an audible thunk, and closed his eyes, apparently trying to go to sleep on his feet right then and there.

It would have been hilarious if it didn’t have to come with muscle strain on Lance’s part, he mused as he shook Keith off of him and set them moving again.

The walk back to the castle was slow and unsteady, but they made it with Keith still on his feet, and that was the important part. Keith lolled his head back and watched the lights along the ceiling pass by as Lance steered him to his living quarters. “Hey, hey Lance,” Keith said, too loudly for the silent and empty halls of the castle.

“I can hear you, man, you don’t need to shout,” Lance replied.

Keith continued in the exact same volume. “Th’s castle - it’s so big. Y’ever think about that?”

“Uh, I don’t really think about it. But, yeah, it’s big. Good on you for noticing.” He turned down the hallway that housed Keith’s room. “Nearly there, buddy.”

“It’s too big,” Keith said, expression falling to a frown. “Too big. Things… things’ll get lost…”

“I’m sure they do.” Lance opened the door and led the two of them in. “All right, we’re home. Bedtime.”

“Yep,” said Keith. He pulled away from Lance and simply tilted backward onto the bed, flopping onto it face-up right along the head of the bed on top of the pillow. “Bedtime.”

“Okay, dude, if you sleep in full armor you’re gonna be sore as hell come morning.”

“Mm. Tha’s smart,” Keith slurred. He pulled himself back up into a sitting position and gazed silently down at his vambrace for a few ticks before reaching out a hand to fumble uselessly at it. “I can’t get ‘t off,” he declared.

Lance sighed. “God, you’re like damn a toddler when you’re drunk, aren’t you? Remind us never to let you drink at a party again.”

“Okay,” Keith said, obligingly holding out his arm for Lance to remove the vambrace, then move on to the rest of the armor. “Thanks,” he added after a bit, drawing out the ‘s’ in a hiss.

“Whatever,” said Lance. He set the vambraces and gauntlets aside and moved to the breastplate. “I’d really hate to see this armor get covered in vomit tomorrow morning when you wake up with a hangover. Which is definitely going to happen, Mister Lightweight.”

Keith just hummed appreciatively, swaying a little where he sat until Lance grabbed him by the shoulders to hold him still. “‘S nice armor,” Keith agreed. “Liked my old armor better, though.”

“Yeah, your old armor,” Lance muttered, lifting the breastplate off of him. “Stick your legs out a bit, will you?”

Keith obliged, and he let out a small burp before continuing. “It was the red armor. Allura says I di’n’t wear it, but… I dunno… feels right. I like red.”

“Mm-hm,” Lance hummed, pulling the greave off of his right ankle.

“Heh,” said Keith. “I said ‘I like red’ because - b’cause, like, the color. But I like Red, too. Th’lion. She’s a good lion.”

“Yeah, I know,” Lance straightened up, tossing the last of the armor aside. “Okay, so, I guess you’re gonna have to sleep in your undersuit tonight. Because I am definitely not gonna change you into your pajamas. I think we’ll both rest easier forever if this is the most I ever strip you, yeah?”

“Yeah…” Keith agreed softly. He turned and stared down at the armor, his brow creasing.

After a few seconds of the silent staring, Lance tilted his head. “Uh, Mullet? You all right there?”

Keith turned back to Lance. His face still flush as it had been this whole, but now with the addition of a dewiness in the eyes that took Lance by surprised. “Lance?” Keith said in practically a whisper. “I miss it.”

“Um,” Lance said slowly. “What - what do you miss?”

“Bein’ a paladin,” Keith answered. “I miss - I miss Red.”

Lance let out a slow exhale. “Yeah, I know you do. We’ve been over this, man, I know it’s no fun for you and all, but you - ”

Keith suddenly let out a loud, strangled sound before leaning to the side, his expression crumbling as he flopped against the wall at the head of the bed. “I miss Shiro,” he croaked.

“Um.” Lance cleared his throat and shifted his stance awkward. “Do you, uh, do you want me to go back and get him, or - ?”

“No!” Keith snapped, face immediately falling to a scowl. “No, no, no, no, not - I miss my Shiro.”

“What do you mean, your Shiro?”

“My Shiro. The one from - the one I r’ember…” His chin trembled and he let out another strangled whine before burying his face in his hands. “This one, he’s nice, an’ he’s good, but… but he’s not m’brother. He doesn’ remember… he was the first - the first family tha’ I had in sooooo long, and - an’ now i’s all gone…” He lowered his hands and stared at them, curling and uncurling his fingers against his palm. “It’s all gone…” he whispered.

Lance lowered himself cautiously onto the bed, staring at Keith’s face, where the tears had started flowing. This was… not good. He wouldn’t have offered to take Keith back to the castle on his own if he had known that he was going to end up like this.

He had dealt with drunk people before. Once someone had spiked the punch at a party he and Hunk had attended during their Garrison days, and Lance had wound up having to babysit his friend for the rest of the night. But drunk Hunk had simply found everything hilarious. And Coran had once vastly underestimated both the strength of the beverages on one of the planets they had once visited and his own tolerance level, but drunk Coran had simply become an even more loud, talkative, and flirty version of himself.

Giggly drunk, he could handle. Bold drunk, he could handle. Weepy drunk, though?

He lifted a hand to awkwardly pat Keith’s back. “Uh… there there?” Keith didn’t even seem to notice, just began mumbling something under his breath. “Keith?” Lance said. “I, uh, I didn’t catch that, what’d you say?”

Keith turned his head, blinking blearily as his eyes slowly met Lance’s. “It just keeps happ’n’n, Lance,” he whispered. “Every time I try… just all goes away… ” He let out a hitched sob and buried his face back into his hands. “‘S my fault,” he said, voice muffled through his fingers.

“What’s your fault?”

“I left,” Keith said. “I left, ‘cause I was gettin’ it all wrong... messed it all up - tha’s what happens, Lance, I ge’ there, I mess ‘t up, an’ then I have t’ go… but I really really tried, Lance, I tried an’ I thought - I was doin’ it, I w’s doing good, and we were all friends, but then - b’t then - but then it was bad again, and I had to go - had to go - had to - I still tried, I tried with the Ba-… with the - the Bade - the Blades, but then it all just… poof.” He let out a sigh, his shoulders shaking. “All gone,” he finished off in a whisper so tiny Lance barely picked up on it.

He listed to the side, letting his eyes drift close, before softly adding, “It hurts. Hurts so much…”

Lance took a deep, uncertain breath. “Right. Um. I’m not - I’m not sure I followed all of that but - but, um - ” Good God, he was definitely not the person who should be doing this. He could give a pep talk with the best of them, but that was only when he knew his audience. He knew all the buttons to press to get Hunk smiling again, and how to bolster Allura’s strength when she needed it. But Keith - Keith was a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a mullet. He had no clue what Keith needed to hear, or wanted to hear. Or even whether he was so drunk that he wouldn’t even gauge any meaning out of anything Lance did say.

He regretted not letting Keith just fall asleep on their walk back to the castle. Would have made things much easier.

For now, he just needed to get Keith to settle down. Get him to stop crying, and get some rest. Then, by morning, surely he will have forgotten all about all this shit on his mind. Or, at least, he would be sobered up and be able to discuss it in some way that made a lick of sense, and hopefully with someone who actually had some idea how to handle it.

Cautiously he stood up from the bed. “Hey, uh, look, Keith,” he said slowly. “I’m, uh - I’m sure that, whatever it is you’re on about, it - it wasn’t your fault.”

“Was,” Keith said softly.

“Well, um, okay, even if it was, that’s - that’s over now. You have to remember, of course, none of that - any bad stuff you remember, it didn’t really happen, right? So, you know. You don’t even need to worry about it!” Keith’s lower lip began trembling hard, new tears starting to pour from his eyes. Okay, shit, Lance thought. Not the strategy to go with. “I mean - I mean, just the - just the bad parts. The parts about, uh, messing up and stuff? Those were - that part’s fake. But, um, I’m sure the rest of it is… that’s real?”

He examined Keith’s expression intently, trying to gauge how Keith was taking it. It didn’t exactly feel good to lie to him - in fact his stomach was turning more leaden every passing second - but the guy was three sheets to the wind; it wasn’t like any lie Lance told now was going to stick. And if being told that, yes, sure, his memories were real, if that was what Keith needed right now to stop crying, so be it.

“My team?” Keith asked quietly. “They’re real? … They know me?”

“Yeah, man, ‘course they do.”

“Where are they?”

“Uh…” Lance cleared his throat. “Tell you what, how about - how about I leave and go get them?”

“You’ll… where’re they?”

“They’re kind of a ways away, but I can go get them for you. But it’ll be a little while, see, so - so in the meantime you need to stop crying and get some rest.”

“Get some rest…”

“Yeah. And then by the time you wake up, they’ll be here, and everything will be great. Sound good?”

Keith seemed to mull it over for a few seconds, then he gave Lance a woozy smile. “Thank you,” he said.

“No problem,” said Lance. “So, you just get some sleep, and I’m gonna - I’m gonna leave.”

“Yeah…”

“Good night, Keith.”

Lance turned to leave, and made it across the room and had his hand on the door before Keith cried, “Wait! Lance!”

Lance whipped back around, to see Keith suddenly wide-eyed, urgency written across his face. “What is it?” he asked.

“I gotta - I gotta tell you - ” said Keith. “It’s important.”

Lance hurried back toward him. “What? What’s wrong?”

Keith placed his hands firmly on Lance’s shoulders to look him squarely in the eye. And with an amount of solemnity and directness that surely shouldn’t even have been possible in his drunkenness, he announced, “I am going to throw up.”

Then, to Lance’s dismay, he turned around, leaned over, and did just that.

#vldgen #voltron fic #vld fic #keith #lance #my writing #fic: remember me

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lightsandlostbells · 6 years ago

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Skam France season 3, episode 5 reaction

The opening clip gave me flashbacks to this SNL Totino’s commercial, another classic of gay cinema, so I FULLY expect to see some hot pizza roll action later this season.

Episode 5

Clip 1 - Still no yellow curtains???

Dramatic music. Lucas and Eliott are passionately kissing. The camera swoops over parts of their bodies. Eliott is smiley, Lucas gets in a kiss to Eliott’s nose. The level of intimacy is very strong, that shot of their legs tangled together is nice. I think it’s great that they didn’t back down from the kissing and physical contact in this scene; it’s not that it needs to be very explicit, just respectful and on par to what they’d give for a het couple, and they filmed Lucas and Eliott about the same as they did Charles and Manon last season. Skam was so good in how it depicted intimacy between Isak and Even; I consider it one of the defining features of S3, setting it above other gay romances in media for its lack of skittishness and double standards, and it’s been a consistent concern of mine that the remakes will be a step back in that regard. This clip was definitely reassuring.

Eliott asks Lucas if he’s his first guy, and Lucas just snorts so Eliott takes that as a yes. Lucas asks the same question and Eliott replies with this Even-worthy eyebrow raise, so Lucas is like, oh, I see! They laugh. So I that wasn’t an actual answer, lol? But I took it as Eliott having some experience with dudes. Could be a variety of things from kissing a boy to hooking up with one to a full-fledged relationship with a guy. Or the Mikael incident, if they include that in S4. They’ve apparently changed a huge amount, but that’s actually one detail that doesn’t need to be changed the way the bus storyline has to be, for instance.

We get some whispery voiceover as Eliott asks Lucas what he thought of him when he saw him the first time in the common room. We cut to them lying shirtless, so this is later in the day, after things got more heated. The lighting is very warm and golden, it’s a very romantic staging. Like there might as well be white curtains billowing in the breeze. (The curtains are white, but not billowy.)

Eliott volunteers that the first time he saw Lucas wasn’t in the common room, but on his first day in the corridor. Basically he describes the trailer to Lucas. Lucas didn’t see him but he was all Eliott saw. So that revelation happened fast. Not a surprise to anyone who saw the trailer (or you know, saw OG Skam) but it cuts out some of the mystery for Lucas - like Isak was doubting Even’s interest through much of the season, especially in this episode and afterwards, and when Sonja said the relationship was fake. Isak was so taken aback by Even revealing it in the last episode in part because he (and the audience) had doubted it so often. But Lucas has this reassurance from Eliott right from the beginning. Lucas just has so much more to go off from Eliott at this point: Eliott is more upfront telling Lucas how great he is, Eliott has said he wants to break up with Lucille and have a relationship with someone else who’s not necessarily a girl, Eliott didn’t choose plans with Lucille over a day with Lucas, Eliott told Lucas he wanted the double date to be just the two of them. Even when Eliott disappeared for a few days, he followed it up by apologizing to Lucas and saying he was sick. And that’s nice for Lucas, that he’s not doubting himself as much, but I have to wonder how this will affect the story? Or their relationship trajectory? When Eliott cuts off their relationship, it will come out of nowhere even more than in Skam.

Lucas whispers about what Eliott would have done if he didn’t go to the common room, or Lucas came to the bus earlier or later, as they lay there in their underwear with Eliott on his back, in between lots of kissing. The camera keeps cutting back and forth between kissing and talking, different angles, lots of pans, etc.

Eliott saying that he imagines two paths when he has a choice to make, but it drives him mad when he doesn’t know the outcome of the one he doesn’t take. So Lucas brings up parallel universes. (Piano music starts playing at this point, which seems to happen at significant Lucas/Eliott turning points, like the first time Lucas saw Eliott, or when Lucas played piano for Eliott. Like in OG, this conversation might have a huge effect on Eliott and how he sees himself and their relationship.) When Lucas makes a choice, there are all these other Lucases making other choices, like he’s surfing in Bali or in he’s in a NYC skyscraper signing a deal. I don’t know if these are things Lucas actually would like to experience in his life, or of they’re just examples of things that are so far and distant from his present reality, fun fantasies.

Eliott asks if maybe New York businessman Lucas didn’t jump off the building because he burned out. Lucas says that’s awful, Eliott asks if he’s ever thought about it? That’s good foreshadowing, a good hint as to Eliott’s state of mind.

Eliott says he doesn’t believe in parallel universes, though he doesn’t explain why (like Even say it made him feel lonely). Lucas says there are Lucases and Eliotts in other universes who are together right now. Lucille calls and Eliott groans, then says Eliott #425 can go talk to her, heh. Lucas #1 is very happy with that decision. They lie on each other and it blurs as the clip ends, as they fall asleep.

This is one of those clips that I completely get why people would love it, it’s very apparent, and I don’t think it’s bad, not at all, but at the same time it’s just personally not my thing. I’m sorry! Again, I understand why this clip blew up. It’s just ... similar to how I feel about cupcakes. People love cupcakes. I love some cupcakes! But I don’t care for a lot of cupcakes, like the really fancy ones with tons of frosting, because most frosting is too sugary for me. Do I get why people like the cupcakes with mountains of frosting, though? Or why people prefer the frosting to the cake itself? Absolutely.

Most of my issue is with the editing. There had so many cuts and jumps and I don’t think it served the mood or purpose of this clip. Actually, I found it really distracting. I could never just relax into the moment because of how the camera was spinning and panning and cutting between different points in time, something that has been done in various scenes in Skam and the remakes, but not usually with weighty dialogue happening at the same time? I found it hard to focus on what they were saying.

On that note, I don’t think the way it was shot was the best way to demonstrate to their chemistry. I think they have quite good chemistry! But there was so much moving around and cutting between moments that it began to feel like a series of poses rather than two actors working off each other, if that makes sense.

It just felt a bit too much like this clip was a perfume ad, lol. It’s very heavy and sensual and romantic, and it’s beautiful, but it’s not what I prefer from the Skam universe. It takes away some of the rawness and vulnerability of this kid’s coming out story - something that they’re still integrating into the show by keeping many of Isak’s struggles in Lucas - and makes it more full throttle OTT mature romance. Like - this feels like a romance between adults, not teenagers, and I don’t mean because of the level of intimacy/shirtlessness, more like the level of confidence, the way it doesn’t feel like they’re figuring things out, but that this is familiar territory (and for Lucas at least, it is not). And well, another some of that is because the actors are adults, too.

There’s some more stuff I can say but again, it’s just not my style for this material. In other contexts I would eat up this hardcore French romanticism, lol.

Clip 2 - Guess Who(’s not staying for dinner)

Lucas wakes up alone at 14:34 on Saturday. It’s later that day, so what’s his excuse for missing Basile’s party? Eliott is not actually there to keep him occupied. Is he just going to lay in bed and smell Eliott’s pillow or something? I realize he’s distracted but isn’t he going to be receiving texts from the guys?

Eliott left him a note on the pillow. It’s a hedgehog in bed, but when you open the note it’s a raccoon and a hedgehog in bed together with a little heart. AWWWW. That’s so cute. It’s so cute I won’t make any interspecies erotica jokes. The note says “Eliott number 3546 is a lucky guy” and that Lucas is handsome when he’s sleeping. Lucas looks bummed, though. I mean, I would be if I went to bed sleeping beside someone who looked like that and I woke up alone.

Lucas goes into the kitchen where everyone else is. Manon has been up early cooking, because she slept on the couch and got woken up by the neighbors. Lucas is like, oh sorry, forgot I’m not in my room anymore. WHY ARE YOU APOLOGIZING, IT’S YOUR ROOM. SHE HAS NEVER LIVED IN IT. (Also, I don’t think she meant anything by it, but her mentioning that she woke up early hearing the noise from the couch comes across as oddly passive-aggressive.)

But Manon is OK with it, because Lucas needed his room more! Eliott seemed super cool! UMMMM this is kinda weird. I know Eskild said the same thing but the situation seemed less pointed, like Manon’s borderline suggesting I know you needed the bed more than I did, Lucas, because of all the gay sex you were having last night.

The roommates all met Eliott when he left and Lucas covers by saying he’s a good friend who got too drunk so Lucas offered him a place to sleep. Manon is all “OK!” in a way that is too casual to be truly casual, if you know what I mean. Lucas gets on the defensive and says what, we can’t bring friends over here now? Now Manon is all, “OK...” in a way that says calm down, dude.

Mika eyes Lucas as he leaves. I don’t think they’ve really built that relationship in a substantial way, but at least they added that brief glimpse to show that Mika has Lucas on his mind?

Clip 3 - Cake!

Lucas and Manon walk into school, Lucas carrying baked goods made by Manon. Manon gets a call from Charles and ignores it. There needs to be a substantial Lucas and Manon heart-to-heart at some point. They’ve set up too much between them - I feel like their dynamic is more developed than Lucas and Mika, or Lucas and Yann this season.

The girl squad + Lucas sit around and eat cake. Well, the girls eat cake, Lucas is sitting back in his seat with his arms crossed. I know you are thinking about Eliott, dude, but there’s this thing people do called “eating our feelings” that works ... not very well in the long-term, but provides short-lived distraction and satisfaction. I recommend it!

There’s a mattress in the common room now and Manon asks, “Don’t you stop napping after kindergarten?” and I like Manon fine but she must have put some crack in that cake. Lmao, what human being is going to be like NAPS??? AN ABSURD TRADITION MEANT FOR TODDLERS. Like when you’re a little kid, you don’t want to nap, you want to run around and keep being an asshole; it’s when you grow up and become miserable that you start to appreciate the art of shutting your eyes in the middle of the day. Anyway, Daphne said the headmaster gave the students the right to nap in the common room. You know, that is a legit quality use for the common room, tbh. Everyone would use the nap room.

The downside is, as Lucas accurately points out, people are going to bang on that mattress. Well, I guess they could like … require the door to the room to be open at all time or something. Or put up a giant sign saying THERE ARE SECURITY CAMERAS IN THIS ROOM AT ALL TIMES. They don’t need to install security cameras for real, just use the sign to dissuade people. (Who am I kidding, none of that will stop the students from banging on that mattress.) Daphne is incensed at the notion, but Imane’s like, hookup-land is what’s gonna bring people here. LMAO. Again, not wrong.

They talk about the ugly mural some more (God I still do not get why everyone treats that mural like it’s a nude painting of one of the orcs from Lord of the Rings, it’s just a somewhat outdated mural, my eyes would glaze right over it). Lucas says he’s waiting for Eliott about the mural and Manon does a little “mhm” so he hurriedly changes the subject (good subtle detail).

They discuss getting WiFi in the room and one of the nerd dudes who showed up to the first meeting, who has been sitting in the corner, starts talking about how they can get set up WiFi. The nerd dudes have the password. Everyone is happy! But nerd dude says he would like compensation. Daphne assumes they are talking about her breasts as she is showing ample cleavage. Nerd dude says no, they were talking about the cakes. LMAO. I like this guy. Manon hands over a cake, the other girls are sad at the loss of cake. Understandable, but it seems like a fair trade to me. Also, there are multiple cakes and baked goods on that table, just scarf it down before the nerds come back for more.

Manon signs off with, “Bye, bitches!” The others talk about how weird she’s being. Well, yeah, but I’m wondering how her Charles-related sadness translates into her saying, “Bye, bitches!” Trying to put on a super happy and lighthearted facade? Would go along with all the baking.

This scene is cute and all, and I assume there will be relevance to something in the plot later on but ... what does it have to do with Lucas’ story or his POV? Other than a brief look at his closed-off body language (which didn’t last long since he was very engaged in the conversation) and a brief mention of Eliott and the mural, something that has happened before? There just didn’t feel like a point to his story in this clip, whereas every scene in Skam S3 felt like it had a point to Isak’s POV and advanced his storyline, telling us something about his mental and emotional state. I know that the other seasons of Skam didn’t have such a narrow focus, but usually there was some tie-in to what the protagonist was feeling. IDK, is this to foreshadow him and Eliott fucking on the couch? More hinting at Manon being off her game and having Charles problems? My guess is that they felt like they needed a girl squad scene sometime this week. If they had unlimited time for these episodes, I wouldn’t care if they had clips like this, but they do have a time limit, and so I think it’s fair to question if they’re making the best use of it.

Daphne is by no means required to have a boyfriend, I still root for lesbian Daphne at the end of the day, but that nerd dude who asked for cake instead of cleavage is already a better option than Basile.

Clip 4 - Lucas out of the loop

Lucas waits for Eliott outside of class, but instead it’s his bro Raptor Alex who exits. Lucas asks if the guy in his class is there. You know, the guy. Clearly the only guy who matters in Alex’s class.

Alex says Eliott isn’t there much, he freaked out in class the other day and doesn’t go anymore. Oh no :( I wonder what he means by “freaked out” though, like hopefully people weren’t gossiping about whatever happened? It didn’t make its way to Lucas, in that case.

The boy squad comes around the corner. Lucas completely phones it in when he apologizes to Basile. Not that I care about hurting Basile’s feelings, as my opinion of him is well-documented, but Lucas does, and he’s not even trying to sound sorry. And the family excuse is lazy and not believable at all, like with Isak it was also predictable but he put a smidge of effort into it. Lucas says the excuse like he’s on auto-pilot. The boys just let the excuse roll by, uninterested.

Lucas asks what happened at the party and Arthur says Basile went into the bathroom with Daphne and he won’t tell them what happened. Basile say she stayed on her knees in front of him for a long time. Which I take to mean she was barfing and Basile was holding her hair back. Also her hair smelled good according to him. SIGH. I’m sure this is the start of Basile/Daphne or whatever, but you know, it would be easier for me to buy that Basile is really a good guy if he did not describe Daphne in such an objectifying way. If you’re a fucking gentleman, why are you making it sound like she sucked your dick? I know toxic masculinity, ~it’s realistic, blah blah. They could’ve had Yann and Arthur make the crude jokes and Basile get serious and tell them not to talk about Daphne that way, it would’ve been character development. (Actually, now I’m wondering if there will be a moment like that later in the season. I can’t support Basile/Daphne at all at this point, but I feel like if they want to make him worthy of her in the slightest, he’s going to have to renounce his sleazy, perverted shtick very clearly.)

Lucas looks back after the boys as they leave him behind, not interested in telling him more, barely caring about his absence. He’s just not part of the gang right now. IDK, I think they should’ve directed Axel to play this more remorsefully - not his fault, I feel like they rushed this scene for time reasons? For instance when he sees the boys and apologizes to Basile, there wasn’t time for anything to land, like he didn’t care much, not even that he was disappointed in himself for forgetting. Just this look from Lucas at the end signals what he might be feeling.

Also, very weird choice to put this clip on Tuesday and the one with the girls on Monday? It makes way more sense to switch the two, because basically Lucas must not have interacted with his friends at all yesterday. Even though we’ve seen he has a class with Arthur and we’ve gotten a clip of that class on a Monday (although I don’t know how French class schedules work).

Clip 5 - Argh

When I started to watch this clip, I noticed it was 2 minutes and 43 seconds long and was like … are you kidding me? If this is the scene, we’re going to just fly through it? What in the fresh hell?

For comparison, the OG clip was 4 minutes and 36 seconds. And it didn’t have the end credits as this scene does, and it didn’t have this opening part with Lucas and Imane (or Isak and Sana).

Without the credits, this clip goes to 2:22. Eliott and Lucas meet outside starting at :55. Meaning there was about a minute and a half for the conversation that defines that second half of the season. Yikes.

Lucas and Imane are in class, I think they’re taking a test. She helps him out when he forgets something. There’s a lot on his mind and he’s not doing the best he can, I guess. Anyway, thoughtful of Imane to help him cheat (if this is a test)?

He gets a text from Eliott - is this a test or not? It’s not terribly important but LMAO at this teacher who (correctly) notices two of her students passing drugs under the table before class, but fails to notice the same two talking during an exam and one of them whipping out his phone during a silent class period. Cheating must not be a main concern of hers. Eliott is waiting outside the room, grinning at him through the window. So we have students talking to each other, looking at their phones, and non-verbally communicating with other students through the window. Now I’m really surprised that the teacher noticed the weed.

Lucas gets up to meet Eliott outside. Lol, really, dude? He’s going to get a bad grade just because he can’t wait a few minutes. I mean, the desperation is funny, but Lucas is not the brightest here.

Although I laughed a lot when Imane said he wasn’t done and Lucas was like, “Minimalism, Imane. Minimalism.” That might be the best line he’s had on this show.

Imane seems concerned but I’m not sure if she suspects anything’s up with him or if she’s just like how did I get partnered with such a dumbass.

So this clip was ... not good. Bad. It was bad.

This is the kind of content I feared we would be getting from Skam France based on the first two seasons. Luckily it’s been better than this on average, I really do think the show has improved! But not here. It’s such an important scene that I’m disappointed this is the one they bungled. There are multiple things that are ill-advised or underwhelming about it.

I’m aware that I can be harsh/nitpicky/critical about these remakes, but I really don’t intend to come from a place of default negativity, or like, FUCK THIS SHOW FOR EXISTING. And I don’t want to crush people’s buzz if they enjoy something! The reason I get so nitpicky is because I feel like it helps me better understand film-making overall. If a clip just doesn’t feel right, then I want to try to parse out why it didn’t work for me.

For starters, choosing to place this extremely intimate, private, honest, confessional scene outside. And not in some isolated space, but where tons of people are. You can fucking see students walking around behind Eliott when he’s glancing in the window at Lucas. As Lucas exits the classroom, you can see a girl headed in the same direction as him. I mean … what?? They are not remotely alone? Not only does it ruin the atmosphere of the scene, it tanks the plausibility of it.

Because Eliott’s waiting for him outside, and holy shit, gives Lucas a kiss on the mouth. Dude! People will definitely see you. He knows that he’s Lucas’ first boy(friend) per their conversation in bed, so what is he doing? I guess it’s cute but also, not a great idea to out Lucas like that Lucas hasn’t been with a guy before, Lucas has been deliberating no-homo-ing their interactions in front of his friends, Lucas has been trying to play up his relationship with Chloe (for instance slinging that arm around her when Eliott came to talk last episode, not to mention, you know, dating her while flirting with Eliott) so it’s a completely reasonable and likely assumption that Lucas is closeted and doesn’t want people to know he likes guys. I don’t think Eliott is a bad person for doing this, but it seems weirdly insensitive of him. (Even tried to kiss Isak in public in episode 8, but it was while he was manic, and I don’t want to make that same assumption of Eliott here.)

Eliott wants Lucas to leave with him but Lucas says he can’t ditch classes. Eliott says he’s told Lucille. He’s really brimming with confidence here, like he just swoops in for the kiss, he brings up Lucille without hesitation, he seems completely sure of himself. Lucas looks a little uncomfortable, though. Eliott is like, doesn’t that make you happy? Lucas says it does, although he doesn’t look that happy.

Lucas: “I just don’t want you to be sad if it’s my fault.” No offense because this is a tiny thing but this is one of Skam France’s typical flaws from S1 and S2, which they have largely improved on in S3, but here it creeps up again: adapting something from OG without retaining the context that makes it effective.

That’s a line from Isak, and it made sense in context for him, because Even was looking and acting very, very vulnerable when he said that he had told Sonja about Isak. Nervous eyes, hesitant voice. Holding back on his normally demonstrative body language - Even is very tactile but you can tell he’s very restrained at the start of that conversation. He speaks slowly and is very focused on Isak’s reaction, because he really didn’t seem to be sure what Isak would say. It was when Isak said, “Cool,” that Even started to relax, his eyes start to light up, because Isak responded positively. And when Isak said, “I hope you’re not sad,” it was to fish out what Even was feeling, because he needed that confirmation of how Even felt. Isak wanted to know Even wasn’t sad as a way to determine that Even really truly wanted to be with Isak. It’s a nice, subtle bit of dialogue.

Which makes zero sense here because Eliott is radiating happiness. He kissed Lucas on the mouth as soon as Lucas came outside! He’s smiling, his eyes are shining! It’s not subtle! LMAO WHAT. I guess you can take this as Lucas being insecure, but it just feels so bizarre and dense for a character to project joy as strongly as Eliott does and to ask whether he’s sad. However, maybe we’ll assume that Lucas really is just fishing for confirmation. The thing is, Lucas also has little reason to think that breaking up with Lucille would make Eliott sad. Eliott hasn’t said anything about not being able to break up with Lucille; he has made it clear that he would like to move on and have a relationship with someone else, not necessarily a girl. (Compare to: Even talking about how he felt like he was growing apart from Sonja, but saying he could not dump her, as well as not hinting nearly so heavily that he wanted to get into an actual relationship with Isak.) Eliott didn’t choose Lucille over Lucas the other Saturday when Lucas wanted to hang out, he was just busy, not necessarily with Lucille. (Compare to: Even saying he had plans with Sonja, essentially choosing her over Isak that day.) Eliott straight up told Lucas that he hoped their double date was just the two of them, that was his plan. (Compare to: Even feeling basically the same way, but not telling Isak outright in words.)

And throughout the season, Lucas has been even bolder in some ways than Isak was. He’s done more to go up to Eliott and try to chase him, he’s stolen a class register to find him. On Saturday he felt very confident about making out with Eliott and taking their shirts off. So you could take this as Lucas being insecure, but it doesn’t make a ton of sense even with Eliott ghosting the past few days. I don’t think it matches with the characterization. I think it’s just lazy writing, sorry, especially since much of the other dialogue in this scene is copy+pasted from OG. Or maybe more vulnerability and uncertainty was meant to come through at the beginning of the scene, but the directing and acting didn’t match up with that intention. Whatever happened, this is just an example of why this scene wasn’t very well-adapted. (Also, if Lucas is so insecure he can’t notice that Eliott is smiling happily and kissing him, then how did he get so confident within like 30 seconds to move in for a kiss in public? Overcoming both his internalized homophobia and his doubts to that degree in that short of a time?)

I do want to acknowledge that in Julie’s original script, the scene played out more like the one here, with Even kissing Isak at the very start and having his happiness and desire for Isak more visible. But in Julie’s notes, she also acknowledged that it was a hard scene to figure out and that the changes from script to shooting benefited the scene. Ultimately, this line felt right and fitting to the tone of the OG scene as it was filmed, but here it felt off. I didn’t get why Lucas was asking except because it was in the original show.

We get Eliott asking if Lucas would tell his parents, and at this point I was flabbergasted that they really were going to rush this hugely important, amazing scene to this degree. No room for buildup or mood, just cranking out the dialogue as if it’s obligatory. We get this conversation similar to OG where Lucas explains his dad feels guilty for leaving so he’s not going to say anything, and his mom is crazy so he doesn’t care. There is one nice moment where Lucas tells Eliott not to worry and Eliott says he’s not worried, but immediately asks why Lucas doesn’t talk to her. So you know, he is worried. That was a good, subtle moment. Eliott has a clear sad reaction to Lucas saying he doesn’t need crazy people in his life, and IMO it’s pretty obvious to viewers (though not to Lucas) but I still think Maxence did a decent job here.

Lucas is pulls out the drawing made for him, but Eliott just says Lucas is going to be late for class, all his warmth gone. When Lucas goes in for a kiss, Eliott ruffles Lucas’ hair instead. LMAO. Well, it’s not really funny at all in context of Eliott’s feelings, but it’s also just such a clear shutdown that I can’t help but find it amusing. Lucas does not find it amusing, stands there in surprise and confusion, looking down at his drawing.

Also, Eliott ruffled Lucas’ hair in episode 2, at the end of their lovely evening together, with a lot of sexual tension between them, so this is an unpleasant reversal. That moment felt like a “hello, I’m looking forward to getting to know you.” This moment is a goodbye.

Anyway, this scene was a mess!

Was there a reason why they were outside? Did someone see them? Is there going to be gossip? Why did Eliott kiss Lucas outside when he knows Lucas is closeted? Why did Lucas go in for a kiss at the end (more on that in a minute)? If there is a bullying/rumors storyline as people suspect, that could just as efficiently be done with, for instance, having them meet in an empty classroom and someone walks in on them or spies on them, or secretly takes a picture of them looking close. Maybe they don’t even see the person in the clip themselves, or they hear a noise but by the time they turn around, the person is gone. That way it would be more believable that they would kiss when they think they’re in total privacy, but could also lead to a storyline where the rumors get out. Or, you know ... there were rumors in OG because of Emma, so just have that escalate with Chloe. She fucking yells that Lucas is gay at the end of the episode. There’s just no need for this scene to be outside, it defies logic, and it kills the mood of the clip. It destroys the feeling of Lucas and Eliott having a secret relationship, it ruins the intimacy of making their feelings so clear to each other and of Lucas’ confession about his mom. It’s a really big deal for Lucas to tell someone about his mom! Overall the setting should reflect the content of the scene and this was just strange. Lmao, they didn’t even seem to go very far, weren’t they talking right outside the classroom? Is Imane going to look up and be like, hmm, there’s Lucas and Eliott having a conversation through the window?

I saw people be happy that Lucas moved in for the kiss at the end, and I mean, I get it, that’s the ideal outcome, for Lucas to be out and proud and comfortable with himself. I’m not going to rag on people for being happy about that. But I don’t buy it. He’s startled Eliott kisses him at the beginning of the clip. Then 60 seconds later he’s moving in to initiate a kiss. In public. Like … what is that doing for Lucas’ character arc? Is the only reason he didn’t want to kiss at the beginning of the clip because he didn’t know what Eliott had been doing, and not because of his internalized homophobia? How did he become okay with kissing him outside where people could see in just a minute? It just seems terribly weak for his characterization, and unrealistic that someone who’s so deep in the closet that he goes around flinging homophobic slurs and romancing girls can undo part of that in such a short time. (Especially combined with the Pride clip the next day.)

On that note, Lucas did not ask Eliott where he had been the past few days, there was no acknowledgment of all that Eliott had been gone, so if that was a problem for Lucas, it got swept away. Not as big of an issue as others, but it seemed odd that it went unmentioned when Lucas spent time looking for Eliott and trying to talk to him.

Why was this scene so short? I know there are time restrictions for the episodes, but why in the world was the cake clip necessary over more time allotted to this incredibly important clip? Just because they’re required to include the girl squad? Does the entire squad have to be in every episode, and was there no better way to include them? For example, instead of this clip, what if we opened with the girls eating cake and talking about the common room, but Lucas gets a text from Eliott and excuses himself, then meets and talks with Eliott? If there was anything relevant about the cake clip for future episodes, start with the girls talking about that, then Lucas gets the text and leaves. Seems like a way better use of time.

I don’t mind Eliott being frostier with Lucas at the end, turning away from the kiss, but he does such a complete mood change in such a short time span that it feels a little ridiculous that Lucas didn’t notice. Eliott up until he asked about Lucas’ parents: smiling his ass off. Elliot when Lucas said that thing about his dad: still a tiny smile, receptive to what Lucas is saying. Eliott when Lucas goes in for a kiss: not having it. There is one thing that they talked about in between Eliott’s mood change (or two, I guess, with Lucas mentioning hedgehogs). The mystery element is made less, well, mysterious and more obvious for both viewers and Lucas. Even still gave Isak a goodbye kiss, a parting affection, meaning that it’d be harder for Isak to immediately trace the source of the breakup to that conversation; Eliott is done with Lucas right that fucking second. I get that Lucas isn’t the brightest, but I’m also like … he’s really not going to connect the dots even a little? Even if he doesn’t understand the whole scenario, doesn’t that stick out to him? (Even when Raptor Alex said something like Eliott freaked out the other day?)

Eliott asking about Lucas’ parents was such a jarring transition, and it’s because of pacing. Even just asks it of Isak, too, in a way that could be jarring, but because of the slower pace, the more vulnerable atmosphere, the acting, it doesn’t feel like a 180-degree scene change, it feels more like a natural direction for their conversation to take. The boys tentatively began the scene and were somewhat walking on eggshells toward each other; Even’s question therefore has a kind of fragility that’s in line with the atmosphere, he’s testing out whether Isak will be OK if they date. There’s a lack of vulnerability in this scene, at least up until that point: Eliott is perfectly fine and dandy, Lucas is apparently conflicted but it doesn’t really land. So the transition of topic just feels sudden rather than fitting the mood. It’s just a hugely weird execution.

Stuff I feel bad about saying but I’m going to say it in the interest of honesty: I think Axel has improved a huge amount from earlier seasons and has done good work in other scenes this season. But it felt like Lucas was bored during this scene. I got zero sense of say, wistfulness from him talking about his mom. He didn’t even seem that happy once Eliott told him things were off and they were bumping foreheads? It could have been a much more layered performance. Like … I just don’t feel happiness for Lucas once Eliott tells him it’s off with Lucille, because Lucas himself doesn’t seem to care. I think his parting look of confusion was good, but during the conversation itself, it was lacking. Is it just because Lucas is putting up a front and not trying to show how much he cares? Then how does that work with him trying to go in for a kiss at the end? Like with the previous clip with the boy squad, I blame this a lot on the clip being rushed and not having time to really sink into Lucas’ emotions. But it was just unfortunate because the material in this scene is so complex.

Another thing I feel bad about saying but have to admit: Their chemistry has been good so far, but in this scene, it felt off. Like when Eliott went in to bump foreheads? Super awkward. He’s beaming and Lucas is not into it. And you can say that’s because he’s still not sure what’s going on, sure, but there’s no sense of like … wanting to lean in to the touch but feeling conflicted, or the gesture calming him or convincing him, it’s like Eliott is on a completely different plane than Lucas, and that doesn’t really make sense before Lucas drops the bomb about his mom. You can’t avoid that this scene between Isak and Even made such an impact because the actors were so in sync with each other. That scene felt overwhelmingly intimate, like we were spying on them in a private moment (which it was). The lack of intimacy here in what’s essentially a soul-baring moment is disappointing.

Just. Not good.

Clip 6 - Pride

Lucas is lying on the couch, his new home. Mika plops down and talks about how awesome the couch is, especially if someone like Eliott sleeps over again. Again, it feels jarring because there is zero buildup to this conversation, Mika says it right away, no easing into the conversation (and again, I know that there are time restrictions with the episode, and I’m sympathetic but that doesn’t make it feel less weird - not to mention I have quibbles with how they’re allotting their time). However, Lucas is like “seriously?” and Mika does seem to reconsider, saying that he’s there if Lucas wants to talk and getting up to leave. It works in the sense that Mika’s not been portrayed as sensitive to Lucas as Eskild was to Isak, so I can buy him being inelegant with bringing it up, but still, feels more like a necessity of them having to cram in this scene rather than a conscious character choice.

Lucas does decide to tell Mika about Eliott, and Mika seems pleased. Lucas wants to keep it under wraps, though, saying he doesn’t want to scream that he’s with Eliott or walk hand in hand with him. Which feels off considering he was ready to kiss Eliott on the mouth in public yesterday, which would scream he was with Eliott to anyone watching - again, why I feel that moment was inconsistent. Mika compares it to when Lucas was with Sarah, and Lucas says it was fake with Sarah. I like this bit comparing the two relationships. Mika is chill and happy for Lucas. Despite their relationship not being depicted in the strongest way IMO, it’s a nice moment.

Lucas says this doesn’t mean he’s gay, it’s fine to be proud of being gay, but he’s not gay as in camp. When Mika asks what he means, Lucas says he’s not going to tell people how many dicks he sucked over the weekend, or dance to pop music, or post naked pics on Grindr (especially damning since we saw Mika do just that a few weeks ago). Mika of course connects it to himself. Lucas tries to backtrack but puts his foot in his mouth further, saying he’s never going to Gay Pride and throw dick-shaped glitter on people just because he liked a guy. Mika gets pissed and the scene happens much like the OG Pride clip, talking about how the guys Lucas is talking about are suffering for just trying to be themselves. Mika gets pissed and walks off.

I’m fine with Mika’s reaction being more focused on anger whereas Eskild seemed more hurt and betrayed. Eskild and Isak were closer so that made sense. Mika seems more distant from Lucas so it works that the focus is more on his anger, less than someone he considers part of the family is degrading him.

This scene is so important in all contexts, all cultures, that I am really glad it’s here. Of all the things I hope that the remakes do include, the Pride clip is one of them - even if it’s not the exact same speech or dialogue, then a similar sentiment or lesson is really needed.

That being said, I do think they could have done this scene better from a storytelling standpoint, just by building up Mika and Lucas’ relationship and by not rushing the conversation. There are some nuances in the OG that did not come across here - like I think part of the reason that Isak started running his mouth about not being gay was that he noted that Eskild didn’t seem surprised, and Eskild didn’t deny it, saying he met Isak at a gay bar, and Isak was feeling some insecurity over being so transparent. That’s just my interpretation, though. However, Lucas also has not been dealing with the issue of stereotypes and generalizations to this point? His “gay test” was over something else, he didn’t call out the dance teacher for being too gay, etc. so this is like the first time he’s brought up this topic. I know we had the issue of generalizations mentioned by Alex and Imane but Lucas barely seemed affected by that incident. They could have built that up more, or preferably, re-wrote this scene to be more about Lucas’ behavior in past episodes, like him throwing around homophobic slurs just to distance himself from being gay. Have Mika call him out on that (like instead of focusing on stereotypes, Lucas says, “I’m not a [slur] just because I like a guy” and that’s why Mika gets pissed).

Side note, but it occurs to me that I don’t think we’ve heard about Mika and Lucas’ backstory at all? Like how Mika came to let Lucas hide in the basement before Manon invited him to take her room. I hope we hear about it in a future episode, because even if their relationship isn’t as important, it’s still something of an unresolved plot issue how Lucas came to live in the cellar last season.

Also, not to make light of this, but kind of awkward now because Lucas is living on the couch and can’t hide out in his room from Mika after this conversation.

Lucas texts Eliott that he told his roommate. I wonder what he was expecting from Eliott - probably support? Happiness? Eliott wanted to know how Lucas’ parents would react, and Mika’s not a parent but he’s someone in Lucas’ life, who lives with him, so it would be important. Instead, Eliott texts back, “That’s cool, I’m happy for you” which is frankly rather cold and detached, especially considering he follows up with the spiel about needing more time and them going too fast. This makes Lucas angry and he smacks the cushions. I think this is a good reaction, different from Isak who seemed just in disbelief that Even could be calling it off after asking to be his boyfriend the previous day. It fits with Lucas being more hot-headed and feeling out of control. He texts the guys about their plans for tomorrow, then throws his phone aside and sits back. Again, more like he’s pissed rather than stunned.

Clip 7 - Really bad night

The other three boys are playing a video game (not FIFA!) and Lucas is sitting there dejected, staring at Eliott’s last text message. The sound goes from happy fun-time boy party to sad droning despair when we cut from the others to Lucas, like he’s so checked out he doesn’t hear his friends, or the game, or anything, he’s just so focused on that one awful text message.

Yann, bless him, notices Lucas is in a bad mood, and has him get up and go to the kitchen with him. Lmao but also OUCH at Lucas wearing a hoodie that says “romance” at the worst possible time.

Lucas is super snotty about Yann not being able to find one of the many beers in the fridge, but of course Yann just wants to talk about what’s clearly bothering Lucas and why he’s avoiding them. Lucas denies there’s a problem, but Yann wants to know whether they’re friends or pretending? Lucas keeps denying and says if there was a problem, he’d tell Yann, and he just wants to enjoy the night. Curious way of showing that, sitting there completely checked out from everyone else and snapping at them.

I’m so, so glad they had this scene, because I think they’ve done Yann a disservice this season. They’ve cut out some Jonas moments, such as Jonas calling out Isak for his comments on the dance teacher (the French boys didn’t call out Lucas to nearly the same degree, nor single out his bad mood of late) and the scene where Jonas talks to Isak at his locker in episode 4 was not there. Basically, other than the scene in episode 3, there haven’t been many clips to this point that indicate Yann has been watching Lucas and growing concerned like Jonas was for Isak. This part is a great addition and I’m happy they had a moment to build up this relationship.

Arthur and Basile run in and say they got a text about a party at Chloe’s tonight, Basile thinks it’s his night to hook up with Daphne. GOD WHY. SHE SAID NO TO YOU. WHY MUST THIS TORTURE PERSIST.

They want Lucas to get them into the party, Lucas says Chloe is mad at him, Arthur says she’s not and it’s all in his head. How would he even know? They haven’t even been talking to Lucas lately. They just want to go to the party. Yann seems to be realizing that the situation is not good, but Basile says Lucas can’t do that to him, Lucas missed his birthday

Lucas agrees to go with zero enthusiasm, Basile wants a high five but everyone ignores him, thank God. Yann seemed happy when Lucas agreed to go, so I guess he thought Lucas was trying to have a good time instead of moping all evening, but Lucas was so blatantly not into it and peer pressured into going that IDK how you can think Lucas is anything but miserable.

The boys show up to Chloe’s house and Basile is already screaming and being obnoxious with people staring at him, but there’s a guy at the door who shoves Basile back and won’t let them in. In Skam, that guy at the door seemed like a total tool, but this guy? This guy is my hero.

Daphne comes down the stairs and Basile yells at her to tell the guy to let them in. Maria sees him and is all, hey, you were the guy who held my hair at the last party! Daphne is like, oh, so you hold any girl’s hair? And she walks off. Oh, fuck you, Skam France. Of course they’re going with Basile and Daphne. Lol at them trying to pretend Basile is a totally new character and not French Magnus when we get this subplot.

Basile is dismayed. Arthur says jealousy is a good sign. GODDAMMIT. This pairing is fucked up, I don’t care if I sound like a humorless uptight meanie SJW. It’s full of sexist tropes. Basile does not take no for a fucking answer, he’s disgusted and bothered Daphne over and over again, but she’s going to fall for him because he held her hair back one time. We’re just going to reward creepy male behavior because the creep didn’t actually rape her, I guess.

Lucas sees Eliott inside the house and shoves his way inside past the bouncer dude. No convincing the guy like Isak did, just shoving, which goes with his larger temper and sourer attitude. He sees Eliott talking to Lucille. But before he can get any farther, Chloe comes up and says he has no right to be here. Lucas starts to apologize for last time, and Chloe says she’s not mad about that, she’s mad that Lucas used her and treated her like a fool when he’s gay.

She outright yells, “You’re gay, Lucas!” in the middle of a crowded room so I wouldn’t be surprised if someone heard. JFC, Chloe. She is understandably pissed considering the way Lucas has played with her, but it is not okay to out someone like that. She’s being extremely careless. He seems like he’s not even totally present or hearing what she’s saying, like he seems in disbelief that she’s saying what she is. It’s a good reaction, like he’s overwhelmed by everything, and numb that she’s calling him out on what he’s denied to himself and others.

I actually could not tell if Eliott and Lucille disappeared, or if Lucas noticed that they were gone before he left the house. The way it’s filmed makes it seem like he was so rattled by Chloe that he just decided to leave. Eliott was already with Lucille so Lucas didn’t seem about to confront him (compared to Even who was not with Sonja until right as she showed up and kissed him).

So Lucas walks out and shoves Yann out of the doorway. Then shoves Basile. Then Arthur drops a comment about Lucas having a family issue, which seems … out of character, kinda. Mahdi and Isak had more of an established friction than Arthur and Lucas, AND Arthur was very supportive when Lucas first told them about his mom in episode 3. Basile was the one throwing a fit that Lucas canceled the party with the girls. I’m pretty sure that’s why people were speculating(/hoping) that Basile would be the one to get punched, because it was Basile with the prior issue. (But honestly, I feel like Arthur hasn’t been given a ton of characterization in the gang, and his primary role has been to egg on Basile’s pursuit of various women. For all people say Mahdi is underdeveloped? We still knew more about him at this point than Arthur, actually. We had more of a sense of his role in the group, and it didn’t seem out of nowhere that Mahdi would say that thing about Isak’s family.)

Lucas shoves Arthur against the side of the house. Yann jumps in, Arthur manages to hit Lucas in the head, which is shitty but tbh, I can’t get too mad at him since Lucas came out shoving everyone for seemingly no reason. Obviously Lucas is going through tons of shit but the boys don’t know the context, only that he’s lashing out at all of them.

And as a final blow, as Lucas walks away from the house, he sees Eliott and Lucille kissing against the side of it. Eliott seems happy and initiating the kissing with Lucille, unlike Even who seemed to only respond and get into the kiss after Sonja initiated (and IMO, had a twinge of sadness in his reaction). So Eliott seems way more suddenly OK with Lucille and satisfied with choosing her. Which is kind of interesting because Even was the one giving more mixed signals to Isak, while Eliott seemed so much more sure he was done with Lucille and ready to move on with Lucas.

Meanwhile, Arthur is yelling about how he wants to slap Lucas and how he’s been acting like an asshole for several weeks. Would’ve been good if we got some clearer signs that Arthur was upset about it? Not super obvious, but IDK, more focus on Arthur’s reactions, or being more passive-aggressive. Obviously he could have been bottling up his resentment toward Lucas, but from a narrative perspective, it feels like there should have been more of an indication. (There is some passive-aggressiveness from him in the SM content but I didn’t feel like it really carried into the clips themselves.)

Lucas storms home alone, then starts punching a door and yelling before clutching his fist and sliding to the ground, crying. His fist is bleeding. Again, way more rage, and it seems like the full extent of all that’s happened sinks in only at the end.

Social Media/General Comments

Eliott posts a drawing of rain on his secret IG with the caption “not scared” on it. No prize for guessing what that’s about, but still, very sweet! Not just in a romantic way but a nice moment for himself, not being afraid to take his life in a new direction.

Also, Lucas posts that he’s listening to a song called “Over There, It’s Raining” which is touchingly sentimental, heh.

Chloe is PISSED and is mad about being stood up alone with a crying Lucille and says she’s not going to forget it this time, he’s taking her for a fool. Which is ominous as hell and makes it seem like her outing him is going to be more deliberate, tbh.

Basile’s party was a busy night.

The boys ask “Where’s Lucas?” on IG and document their booze/grocery shopping trip, noting from time to time that Lucas isn’t there. Dude, why isn’t Lucas there? Eliott left in the late afternoon. Anyway, Yann in particular seemed annoyed about it since he seemed to bring it up. Although they were ready to buy Lucas ice cream.

I mentioned this in the last reaction post, but I have ZERO idea why the girl squad showed up to Basile’s party when Basile has been actively creepy to Daphne and when the boy squad was just shitting on the girls a few days ago when ranking them on IG. Not just being gross and sexist in general, but shitting on Alex and Daphne and Manon in particular. I’m serious, why would you even bother with these dickheads?

Sure enough, Basile tries to get a kiss from Daphne in an IG story and she goes for Alexia instead. Why. Why. (Not her giving Alex a kiss, that’s great. Why must I watch this other nightmare of a pairing happen.)

Basile said his hot cousin was supposed to be there, but it looks like just the boy and girl squads showed up, lmao.

The absence of Lucas is so well-documented in the IG stories from this party that it goes from passive-aggressive to just plain aggressive.

NO, do NOT let Basile and Daphne leave together. Daphne is really really fucking drunk. They’ve been gone for like 30 minutes…. Daphne’s friends just let her wander off with Basile when she’s super drunk and has made it clear she doesn’t want him? JFC.

I did not worry that Basile was actually going to rape Daphne or something, because that would be way too extreme for this show in this season. I did worry that we would maybe get more “comic relief” sexual harassment that the SkamFr crew doesn’t seem to realize is harassment. Plus, in-universe we have had Basile touching girls while drunk, we’ve had him being creepy. So while my knowledge of genre/TV prevented me from thinking he’d assault her, there are completely valid reasons to be concerned for Daphne in this moment.

The Skam France must have seen people’s horrified reactions to the Basile and Daphne content, because they broke Lucas’ POV to have a text message between the two of them. Daphne says “thanks for your help last night, you’re not so dumb (don’t tell anyone I said that)” and Basile is like, you’re welcome, hope you’re feeling better! And like … I’m relieved that this was all it was between them, but I’m still pissed this is where they’re going with it. I hate that Basile “not being so dumb” after all is going to be his redemption or whatever. This dude has been gross enough that it’s a meager consolation. It’s as if I kicked you in the face and knocked you down and then helped you stand up. One nice deed doesn’t make up for everything else.

Not to make generalizations, but: I have lots of problems with Noorhelm/William, in terms of sexist tropes, but there’s something about that storyline and his character that feels specifically like a female fantasy. I can tell a woman wrote it. Taking the bare bones of that romance: handsome rich bad boy falls for strong independent girl and changes his womanizing ways? Classic romantic trope. At its core, it’s not so different from something like Twilight, the “dangerous” guy and the one girl who’s special enough to break through his walls. It’s something that is appealing to women (not all women, obviously, but it’s disingenuous to pretend this isn’t a popular romantic dynamic.) It is appealing to women because the love interest is someone desirable.

The Basile/Daphne thing, though? Male fantasy. I can tell men were behind the camera (even if those dudes are not straight). Because I don’t think women particularly enjoy this dynamic. A gross dude who pursues a girl despite her being uninterested? Not really a fantasy that women have, that their nasty classmate or co-worker will keep trying to romance them until they’re worn down. In fact, many women have to live through this so-called fantasy and know it’s not pleasant. Basile is not portrayed as romantically desirable, and that’s not a value judgment on his attractiveness or anything, just a fact about his characterization. What I feel is that we’re supposed to align our empathy with Basile more than Daphne: the poor unlucky awkward loser who has a good heart, really, he’s just not the most skilled with girls. And that’s why it seems like it’s a male fantasy. The unlucky-in-love guy is the one who will get the girl at the end of the day. It’s funny and relatable to the male writer/director/crew because, no offense, perhaps they don’t get the girl’s perspective. The societal pressure and media characterization is not the same with the genders reversed. Men are socialized not to take no for an answer, to think that they are entitled to women’s affection.

Anyway, I really don’t think they expected some of the backlash to Basile and to Basile/Daphne, they probably figured it would be funny, like Magnus/Vilde, ignoring that Magnus/Vilde did not have the same consent issues and harassment. So in S4 it’s likely we’ll get more wacky Basile/Daphne antics and TMI, since they don’t have time to take the viewer feedback into account before they film the season.

Lucas trying to get Eliott’s attention by sending him a picture of a baby hedgehog is really cute. He also embraces that hedgehog motif by posting a pic of one on IG. I find that really endearing, like he’s latching onto something Eliott said about it, he’s making it meaningful. It reminds me a lot of Even latching onto every single thing Isak did and making it a Thing between them.

Meanwhile, Eliott had a shit time - he didn’t reply to Lucas at all, it seems, although Even replied briefly to Isak after he left, even though he didn’t give clear answers to why he’d gone. Eliott is instead posting pics of My Own Private Idaho alluding to his rough situation, saying everything will be all right, and then showing his raccoon fursona behind a brick wall after Lucas tells him that crap about not wanting mentally ill people in his life. Which is way too sad than anything involving a cute cartoon raccoon has the right to be.

There’s an IG story of Mika and Manon book shopping, referring to their “common passion” and mentioning a gay author, which makes me think they went shopping for LGBT-related books in relation to what’s happening with Lucas. I mean I guess their common passion could just be books in general, but I like the idea of them trying to find ways to help Lucas.

Mika also makes an IG post after the Pride clip about respecting “queens” and LGBT elders for their sacrifices and all the shit they’ve had to go through. It’s a more structured way of what he was expressing to Lucas in the clip and would have made for a great speech, although I think it makes sense for him to be angrier in the heat of the moment, and then this is him gathering his thoughts afterward, when he has more time to think about what to say. Great post, though.

After the end of the episode, Eliott posts some sketches of his raccoon and Lucille the cat being all cuddly, which I think were deleted later because I can no longer see them? But I think they’re the same sketches he had done earlier in the season, pre-Lucas, so it’s like him going back to the status quo, same as before, by getting back with Lucille.

Yann posted a pic where Basile and Arthur are happy and Lucas is so blatantly miserable that it feels like a parody, why the fuck would Yann even post that if he’s concerned about Lucas’ well-being.

I’m not French so please feel free to clarify or correct me if I missed something.

If you got this far, thank you for reading!

#skamfr reactions #skam france reactions

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caiuscassiuss · 7 years ago

Text

Well Played (basketball player au! NCT Johnny)

Genre: basketball player! au fluff

Member(s): Johnny ft. the rest of NCT as his basketball team

WC: 3.5k

Warnings: swearing

Description: In which you are a yearbook photographer in denial and 600% done with the basketball captain’s antics.

masterlist | requests | updates

_______________________________________________________________________

(A/N: I always wondered what it’d be like to go to American highschool with Johnny so here’s a hot basketball captain Johnny for you thirsty hoes)

You sighed as you look at the yearbook spread you helped edit.

It was of the annual Fall Festival the Key Club put out, and there were many pictures filled with autumn amusement and merriment and it turned out fucking great but your unusually strict yearbook advisor demanded a complete redo of the pages. Apparently, it wasn’t “festive” enough, whatever the hell that meant. Because none of the yearbook staff actually do what they’re supposed to do, it looks like it’s Y/N to the rescue (for 28723847th time)!! Even though it wasn’t your job!!!

You quickly got back on a desktop in a quest to somehow make people picking pumpkins more “festive” when you suddenly heard a yell from the office.

“Y/N! Tonight is the Semi-Final State Basketball Championship and you have to shoot it at Deerfield!”

You made a sour face then walked over to your advisor’s, Mrs. Weather’s, office.

“Do I at least get free tickets?”

“No, but you have a yearbook pass which is just as good!”

“Ugh,” you murmured quietly as you went back to the desktop.

“C’mon, they chase away any photographer that isn’t you! The boys love you, especially that captain boy… what was his name again? Jake? Justin?”

“Johnny, Mrs. Weathers.”

“See! You even remember his name! Maybe his feelings are reciprocated, hm?”

“Mrs. Weathers,” you whined. We’re not all forgetful like you, you passive-aggressive old bat!

“If I were 40 years younger…” she chuckled.

Oh ewww. Like, double ewwww.

Glenbrook North’s Boys Basketball Team (the Spartans) is Chicago’s #1 basketball team in the city and state, winning both championships for the past 3 years. They’re even more funded than the football team, which basically never happens in American high school. They’re great and all but their captain…

Johnny Seo. A 6’1 senior sometimes called “Yao Ming Ming” for being Asian, tall, and really good at basketball. He was a rich kid, and incredibly popular for being funny and relatable. A lot of girls somehow found him and to be one of the hottest guys in school. And unfortunately, he was the son of your parents’ good friends.

You didn’t like taking pictures of the basketball team. Sure, some of the members like Mark or Sicheng were sweet and too pure for this world, but some members like Yuta and Johnny annoyed the hell out of you. It’s not as if like Johnny, or anything like that. You were always stuck with them because they always played tricks on other photographers so you were sent out in their stead.

The bell rang and you quickly packed up your stuff and saved your progress then walked out of the computer lab. You had a Socratic seminar in AP Lang next, and you had to be early so you could sit at the front. Normally, you would be in the middle, but your teacher had threatened to take points off of people not actively participating, and this bitch ain’t losing her GPA. You strode quickly through the crowded hallways.

“Hey! Y/N!!”

Your quick stride faltered as you froze at the voice. You turned around slowly to see Johnny in a Chicago Bulls windbreaker with some black skinny jeans and Vans. He had an easy gait as people parted for him like the goddamn red sea, his backpack casually slung over one of his broad shoulders.

“Yo broski,” he greeted as he caught up to you.

Sigh. “Hi, Johnny.”

“Can you at least sound excited to see me? I mean, we’ve known each other since we were 4.” Johnny huffed as he slung an arm around your shoulder.

You rolled your eyes.

“Exactly.”

“Oof, right in the gut!” Johnny dramatically pretended to bend over his injured gut as you walked.

“I’d give you real pain if it weren’t for your game,” you snarked.

“Aww worried about me? I’m flattered! Anyway, you know about the game? I thought you didn’t like sports.”

“I don’t. Mrs. Weathers ordered me to shoot the game for your inevitable state championship 4-page spread.”

“That passive-aggressive old-bat?”

“You got that right,” you barked out a laugh.

You turned towards him and looked up at his totally not handsome face. His cheekbones are totally not my aesthetic. Nope, that piece of brown hair flopping over his eye is not attractive. Noppity nope nope nope.

“Hey did your parents confirm that they’re going to dinner at Morton’s?” you asked as you turned left into the Lit hallway.

“Oh yeah, I think they did this morning.”

“Are you sure you can make it after your game?”

“When you’re involved? Totally, babe.” Johnny winked causing you to blush.

“Shut up-” you slapped him on his totally not hard biceps- “No, but really? I don’t want to be the only teen there to be interrogated about my life.”

“Yeah, I’ll be there. Hey, if you want a ride there you can just ride with me and I’ll stop at your house so you can get ready.” Johnny offered as you slowed down, seeing the entrance to your classroom in a few minutes.

“Oh, thanks! I’ll see you later Johnny.”

He smiled as you turned towards your classroom. The warning bell sounded, so he increased his pace to his AP Calc class which was 2 hallways down. He plopped down at his desk that was uncomfortably small for him next to Taeyong.

“Bro why are you so late?”

“Um, I just had to do… something,” Johnny fibbed.

“Liar,” Doyoung interjected from the back.

“He walked y/n to class in the Lit hallway,” Doyoung laughed as he spun his mechanical pencil around.

“The fuck bro? Are you stalking me?” Johnny leaned away from the dude who’s face looked like a rabbit and happened to be his point guard.

“Nah, I just saw you walking down the hallway with her.”

“He’s not the one doing the stalking here, Johnny, you are,” Taeyong said and Doyoung cackled and offered a high five.

“Like seriously Johnny boy, can you make your crush on her any less apparent than the past 4 years?” Doyoung wondered as Johnny was digging around for his graphing calculator.

“He’s whipped.” Taeyong laughed as he downed some water from his bottle.

“Shut up or I’ll bench you for the 2nd quarter.” Johnny threw an eraser at Taeyong who merely smiled innocently and opened his textbook.

_______________________________________________________________________

“Oh fuck!” you cursed as you looked through your bag while sitting in your Mom’s car. She was pulling into the roundabout of Deerfield High school where your school was playing against their hometeam.

“Language! Anyway, what’s wrong sweetie?”

You sighed as you turned to face her.

“I forgot my yearbook pass at school to get into the game.”

“Oh no! Well, that’s a problem. Hm… why don’t you ask Johnny to let you into the game? It’s his team playing after all.”

“That’s not how it works mom.”

“Don’t take that tone with me, young lady!”

“Sorry.”

Your mom put her hands on the driver's wheel in thought. “Ok, $10 dollars isn’t that bad.”

“Mmm-” not when you’re a brokeass teen “-kay, bye mom!”

“I love you! Make sure you go to Morton’s immediately after- wait, hold on, how are you getting there?”

“Johnny’s driving me,” you murmured absent-mindedly as you collected your camera equipment from the back seat.

As busy as you were, you didn’t see the secretive smile that crept up your mother’s face.

_______________________________________________________________________

“Aight team, warm-up on the court in five! Get your asses out there!” Johnny shouted at the locker room full of boys. They all murmured in consent as they quickly put on their notorious dark green and silver track pants and jacket for the warm-up. They all filed out of the locker room to the arena where the stands were already bursting with people.

A roar rose up when crowd favorite entered. Even though they were at an away game, more than half of the crowd were Spartan fans. Even some people who attended Deerfield liked the Spartans better, because a lot of them were supposedly attractive and skilled when they played. All you saw was a goddamn headache.

As per their pregame ritual, someone grabbed one ball and they all stood in a line. The first person bounced the basketball on the headboard, which bounced back and into the hands of the second person, who did the same thing and so on. From the sidelines next to the coach you took some pictures of the boys standing in line. Some of them caught sight of you and waved hi, while others pulled funny faces which made you giggle. You checked the screen of your camera to check the lighting. In a few minutes, the whole team dispersed to do their own thing and took advantage of the cart of basketballs available.

“Y/n!”

You looked up and some hair went in your face. You huffed the rebellious stand of your face.

“Hey, Johnny!”

He jogged over to your position right under the headboard, his usually defiant brown hair contained in a headband just imagine Johnny at the NBA photoshoot

“Um, at the end of the game, just meet me near the entrance. I promise I’ll be there quickly.” He smiled sheepishly at you as he scratched the back of his head.

“Yeah, sure.”

Your eyes suddenly narrowed as you pushed a finger to his chest.

“I had to spend 10 whole dollars to get into your game. 10. Whole. Dollars. Money I could’ve spent on fried chicken or food or whatever.”

“What happened to your yearbook pass?”

“I fucking forgot it at school,” you pouted, secretly embarrassed.

She looks fucking adorable, fuck. Johnny thought as he laughed, his normally booming laughter drowned out by the crowd.

“The only reason I was allowed onto the court was that your coach recognized me!” you lamented, shifting your weight on one foot. You had to crane your neck to look up to him because he was a good 1 and a half heads taller than you.

“Captain! Stop flirting with y/n and get on the court!” Johnny’s vice-captain, Kun, yelled out as he sunk a shot from the 3 point line.

“Fucking hell- I’ll see you later.”

“Sure,” You smiled at him.

As the toss-up began and the game progressed, you moved quickly over the court to take some epic action shots. You could use this for your portfolio for art club, so you were really focused on taking good quality photos.

When the players switched offense to defense or vice versa and ran across the court, they made weird faces at you. Taeyong stuck his tongue at you, Doyoung creep-smiled complete with a double chin, and many more antics that made you lament over the wasted pictures.

When a picture of Lucas completing a lay-up with a meme expression on his tanned face popped up on your viewfinder, you sighed. When you saw Johnny, you were going to make some sort of complaint because you could not use a shot of Mark dabbing on your yearbook spread, and certainly not in your art portfolio.

You came across a shot of Johnny setting up a screen. He certainly did not look hot. No, he was not attractive when sweat dripped down his face and body and made his muscles stand out mo- Fuck this, ugh.

The game ended and as usual, the Spartans beat the Deerfield warriors by a large margin, 100 to 76. You packed up your equipment into your bag and left the court as soon as the crowd left the arena and waited near the entrance, the cold autumn air permeating through your lined denim jacket.

Johnny exited the school, some of his team laughing with him with their arms slung around his shoulders.

“Johnny!” you called out when you saw him in his tracksuit.

The little group’s attention turned toward you as his face turned red in the dim lights. Yuta grinned and said something in Johnny’s ear that made Johnny slap him upside the head, Yuta still grinning the whole time.

Johnny walked over to you and you both walked to his mustang that his dad bought for him the previous year for winning the state championship. He opened your door for you and you both sped off into the streets of suburbia.

_______________________________________________________________________

When you both were led by the maitre’d to the private, reserved table and no one was there, you both groaned. Earlier, he had stopped at your house and you both got ready (he brought his clothes with him). You put on a nice white lace sundress with some nude heels complimented with light makeup. Johnny, on the other hand, wore a white oxford shirt with an unbuttoned, navy blazer. paired with khaki slacks underneath and some smart leather shoes. Nope, not hot at all. He didn’t look like a snack. y'all probably looked like some rich suburban couple lol

“Oh my god. My parents had like 4 hours to get ready and they’re still not ready? Ugh,” you curse.d.

“Rip. Well, we’ll just have to wait for them”

He pulled out your chair for you WHAT A GENTLEMAN and you both sat down to look over the menu. After you ordered water with lemon and he ordered Sprite, you two struck up easy conversation.

It was when he recounted the time when his underclassman friends, Jeno and Jaemin, got detention for duct-taping someone’s phone to the ceiling, he cracked up. You looked at his laughing face and blushed.

Honestly, you really didn’t know your feelings for Johnny. Yeah, he was annoying and kind of a smartass most of the time, but he was funny and always seemed to care about you. Not to mention you’ve known him since forever; your families always went on did stuff together so you kind of were forced to interact. You always saw him as Mr. and Mrs. Seo’s son who played piano really well but in freshman year it kind of all just… changed. He quickly became popular. Johnny shot up until he was a fucking tree and his facial features became more defined and chiseled, so whenever you saw him, whether it was at a restaurant or a gala or a game, your heart beat out of your chest.

You stirred your straw around in your drink and sighed. Your friends always had sworn up and down he had a crush on you, but you never believed them. Why would he like you, the girl that he’s known since she was in her awkward braces phase, the girl that always seemed annoyed by him, when he could probably hook up with anyone in the grade?

“Y/n! Johnny! We’re so sorry we’re late, but traffic was just so bad downtown!”

Mr. and Mrs. Seo walked towards your table with your parents in tow.

It was not like you were 30 minutes late and forced me to stay with Mr. my-hair-flops-a-lot-and-covers-my-eye-and-makes-me-look-really-attractive.

They all sat down and when you engaged in conversation with Mr. Seo about your photography competition, you didn’t notice the triplet of smirks passed around by your parents and Mrs. Seo when Johnny stared at you over the rim of his drink, an adoring look in his eye.

_______________________________________________________________________

“Y/n, you know what tonight is?” Mrs. Weathers voice warbled from the office.

“Yes, today is the Boys Basketball State championship,” you sighed.

How could you forget? With your dads’ passion for basketball, yours and Johnny’s parents were attending the state game tonight.

“Well, you know what you have to do!”

“Yes, Mrs. Weathers.”

Hopefully they didn’t joke around this time. It was the State Championship game, for god’s sake.

_______________________________________________________________________

Sike. They did. From pre-game warm-ups to the time they had scored their winning baskets, they had some really fucking weird faces in store for you.

Of course, the Spartans of Glenbrook North’s Boys Basketball team crushed their opposing team. I mean, you didn’t particularly have a lot of school pride, but you still felt something warm in your chest when you saw them hugging each other as the final buzzer rang out and the crowd went wild. Not to mention it was kinda funny watching the normally “manly man” team lowkey crying.

You were waiting for your friend to pick you up to attend Jaehyun’s post-game party at his ginormous house when you felt a hand on your shoulder.

It was the man of the hour, Johnny Seo.

“Oh hey, Johnny! Congrats man, I’m so proud of you!” You smiled as you pulled the man behind you into a hug.

“Thanks, y/n.”

You looked up at his face which was kind of… tense?

“I can’t believe your team put up with you for all these years. If I were Sicheng I would’ve skrt skrted the day you joined as center.”

His unusually tense facade broke for a minute as he flicked you in the forehead.

“Shut up!”

You both laughed and fell silent, hearing the loud chatterings of excited people near you. His face quickly grew tense again.

“Y/n… I… uh… this is going to sound weird, okay?”

“Well you were always weird in the first place, so no surprises there.”

He smiled slightly and took your hands in his. His calloused hands felt rough, but soothing at the same time. You blushed from the contact and looked down for a moment.

“So… I’ve kind of liked you for the past 4 years, y/n. And probably more than that.”

Your head snapped up quickly in shock. Johnny? Johnny Seo? Seo Youngho? Likes me? Plain old me? What the fuck.

“Um, I know it’s alright if you don’t share my feelings but I figured since it was the last game of my high school career, I’d thought I just get this off my chest-”

“Johnny, I like you too.” You smiled at him, and slight blush still adorning your cheeks.

His eyes widened and his mouth dropped open.

“Holy shit. Fuck. I did not expect this to happen, I thought you were going to reject me since you’ve always been annoyed with me, god-”

“Johnny I’ve always been annoyed with you because, well, I’ve liked you since freshman year too.” Your arms snaked around his corded neck and played with his slightly damp hair from his shower. You couldn’t even describe your feelings right now. You felt like you were high, and every nerve in your body tingled. Holy pigs on a stick Johnny likes meeeeee!

Johnny smirked as he wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you close to his body, against the dim lights of the school lamps. The harsh light defined his features even more (if that was even possible), and made his eyes sparkle.

“Well, damn,” he whispered as he swooped down to capture your lips in his.

Yeah, there were no fireworks but there was definitely heat. The heat in his gaze you saw when he played on the court, the heat in his gaze when he played a particularly difficult run on the piano you could feel all around you when you closed your eyes and kissed him. Those longing looks you always sent towards each other and the shy brushes of your touches felt absolved as you kissed each other for quite some time.

“DAYUM JOHNNY BE GETTING SOME!!!”

Your make-out session was broken when both of your heads snapped in the direction of the noise. Johnny’s whole basketball team stood cheering in the parking lot, with a lot of girls giggling next to them.

“FUCKING FINALLY,” shouted Sicheng.

“JOHNNY GREW SOME BALLS!” Mark laughed as the whole team went wild over their captain, who they had known to crush on you for a long time and had to deal with his whole she-doesn’t-like-me-and-never-will deal.

“MARK!” Johnny shouted as his grip on you tightened.

You laughed and settled his head in his broad chest.

_______________________________________________________________________

The whole school basically rioted when they found out the next day. A bunch of people was congratulating you guys in the hallways because of his popularity, and he walked you to class and y’all held hands. His teammates kept on sending you guys sly glances throughout the whole day. Hell, even your teachers (including Mrs. Weathers) congratulated you. However, they weren’t as bad as your parents.

Your parents, when they found out, as you told them while holding hands, cried. They congratulated you like you had announced you were going to get married. Mr. Seo and your dad patted Johnny on the back and jokingly threatened to kill him if he hurt you, while Mrs. Seo and your mom hugged you tightly and cried into your shoulder.

“Oh, my sweet baby, I have been waiting for this for years!” your mum wiped a tear from her eyes.

Hold on… years? The pieces of the puzzle quickly clicked together in your mind and you gasped.

“Wait… were you deliberately late to the restaurant after the semi-final game?!”

_______________________________________________________________________

Later, when you were in Johnny’s arms and watching a movie you slapped him in the chest.

“Ow! Babe, what was that for!” Johnny laughed as he snuggled his face into the crook of your neck.

“I told you earlier I wanted game faces, not meme faces!”

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jbuffyangel · 6 years ago

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Outlander 4x03 Reaction: “The False Bride”

Roger and Brianna are on fire this week. I’m struggling to balance my desire to hit Roger over the head with my desire for these adorable cupcakes to make all the babies.

Let’s dig in...

Roger is selling the house? Is he moving to America for Brianna? I feel like I missed a step with these two. Let’s add it up: they visited at Oxford during Brianna’s summer break, spent Christmas together in Boston, write and occasional telephone call. Nope. I did not miss a step.

I really wanted to like Aunt Jocasta, but ugh I can’t. Not even her love for Jamie can salvage her character.

Ian is a golden retriever puppy and nobody can tell me different.

Claire versus Jocasta is the very definition of an unmovable rock meeting an unstoppable force. It would be interesting to watch these two slug it out for a few more episodes. They are a master class in passive aggressiveness.

Jamie and Claire discussed their future and their daughter for almost five straight minutes.

Jamie gets a sad/slightly jealous/irked look on his face every time Claire mentions Frank & Brianna. Same, buddy.

So now Jamie likes being an outlaw? When did that happen?

Claire raises a good point though. She has something outside of Jamie, her medicine, but he has nothing outside of her.

Seriously, never leave each other’s sight. Get the damn donkey together. Have these two learned nothing over twenty years?

Confession time: I have not particularly warmed to Brianna. She seems a little cold and wooden. I’m not sure if it’s the actress or the writing, but I don’t love her. Roger makes her tolerable though, so I’m officially crowning him Outlander’s Felicity Smoak.

Brianna just jumps in on a dance she doesn’t know. That takes balls kid.

Roger singing is quite swoon worthy.

Roger: Let’s make five babies and adopt a dozen puppies.

Brianna: *Internally screaming*

Is there anything more awkward than a rejected proposal? Nope. Don’t think so.

Me: Cool it Roger. She literally just said boyfriend for the first time five minutes ago.

Also me: SAY YES BRIANNA!

Roger does not handle rejection well. He turns into a class A douche bag.

“If all I wanted was to have my way with you, I would have had ye on your back a dozen times last summer.” Don’t get mad at me, but this was kind of hot when he said it.

That said, he’s being an asshole and totally deserved to be slapped.

When did this become about sex and virginity? You swerved hard, Roger. Right into a brick wall.

“Well then what did you mean by making me such an offer? A nice Catholic girl. I thought you were a virgin.” Hi. Nice Catholic girl here to translate. I’m sure most of you know Catholics don’t believe in sex before marriage. So, by inviting Roger into her room and initiating sex, he believes Brianna has already said yes to his proposal. The asking is merely a formality, which is one of the many reasons he’s pissed.

If Roger off his gourd? You bet, but this is a commonly held belief in the 1970s.

What I don’t understand is Roger believing it’s okay to sleep with Brianna as long as they are engaged. If he is using devote Catholicism as the battering ram to fight this battle then he can at least use it accurately. Engaged does not equal marriage. If you have sex before you are married, engaged or not, you are still breaking the rules. It’s still a sin even if you are engaged.

Also, the same rules apply to men as they do to women. Roger isn’t allowed to sleep with a slew of women as a single man anymore than Brianna is allowed to sleep around. So, basically Roger is picking and choosing which Catholic rules he’s going to follow and which ones he’s going to ignore. Then he tosses “the rules” in Brianna’ face to make her feel like a slut for wanting to sleep with Roger, but not marry him. This makes him a hypocrite on top a douche bag. Not a great combo Rog.

At least Brianna calls him out. Thatta girl.

Roger didn’t want to marry any of the other girls he slept with because he didn’t love them. Okay, well that doesn’t make the behavior any better my friend!

Just so everyone is clear this isn’t some passé belief of our faith. The Catholic Church’s teachings on sex are the same today as they were in the 1970s. Heck, it’s been that way for 2,000 years. So, the whole “old fashioned” argument doesn’t really work for me. Culturally America is fine with sex outside of marriage, but the Catholic Church doesn’t change doctrine to fit with the times.

Roger: But you don’t love me.

Brianna: I didn’t say that.

Well, you didn’t say you love him either Brianna , which is what this is really about for Roger. He’s completely insecure about his relationship with Brianna and is afraid he feels more for her than she does for him. Somehow Roger thought getting engaged would fix all that and solidify his confidence in the relationship. But who the heck proposes to a woman when you still haven’t exchanged “I love yous” yet and just became comfortable with the labels boyfriend/girlfriend? Slow your roll, Roger. Jeez dude.

I don’t believe Brianna knows yet whether or not she loves Roger. She does love him, but she hasn’t figured it out yet. She’s understandably afraid of commitment and making the wrong choice, given how her mother’s love life went.

I think it would be quite helpful if Brianna traveled back in time to see certain someones and witness a happy, healthy and deliriously in love marriage. But saying no at this point is completely understandable. Roger jumped about 50 guns.

That fight was lively y’all. Hot, passionate and heartbreaking. It was rough on Roger and Brianna emotionally, but boy did their relationship come alive in that scene. It was like throwing fireworks on them. Much more interested and invested in them now.

Claire and skulls. What’s up with that?

Sometimes I think they just separate Jamie and Claire so much because Sam and Caitriona are so great at running into each other’s arms.

Jamie is still asking if Claire trusts him. Oy. She traveled across time and space for you, my redheaded cupcake. She likes you Jamie. The girl checked yes multiple ways. Now go build her a nice love shack.

I am here for building a house with the Frasers. It’ll be like HGTV in the 18th century.

#outlander #outlander 4x03 #jamie and claire #brianna and roger #outlander 4x03 review #outlander season 4 review #outlander season 4 #jamie fraser #claire fraser #brianna randall #roger mackenzie

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macbookpro-hard-drive · 6 years ago

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HI HOW DO YOU WRITE CHARACTERS

hewwo! i can answer this! im literally gonna do a quick list of both deh and bmc characters for u under this readmore! :D

im gonna start with deh because smaller cast!

evan:

isn’t so much stuttery as he tends to repeat things and uh stammer a bit here and there. stutters over his words sometimes but it’s more l-like this and uh, like… like this

evan hansen has anxiety. he is not anxiety. evan hansen fucks up and makes mistakes and probably internalizes a lot of things. very polite when in public but he can be a bit snappy (as seen w evans comment abt how zoe’s parents have never been poor i believe? it was something he said to zoe)

soft spoken, most of the time. probably not the kind of guy to vocally ask for things until he’s at a comfortable enough point that he feels like he’s not bothering you (same buddy)

i see evan as someone who gets frustrated with himself easily. not as a sense of “god i wish i were normal” but more of a “i should be able to do this, why cant i do this, i want to do this but i cant” because sometimes it’s just a matter of i literally cant do this and i dont know why? and god its so frustrating sometimes

jared:

jared kleinman is a fucking asshole and he knows it. very sarcastic and uses it to cover up his own insecurities, probably the kind of dude who laughs in your face when you tell him off when internally he’s just OH FUCK OH SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK

a lot of ppl write jared as being insecure abt his weight and tbh i don’t see that being a problem for him? i see jared as being insecure abt the fact he comes off very snarky and assholeish but he turns it around and tries to own it even though… that’s not something you want to be proud of? and he knows that

not the kind of dude who stops to assess his feelings. he powers through shit and insists he’s okay until he’s out of steam. i think it was psy who said he’s a “needs therapy boi” and tbh she’s right?

can be very passive aggressive imo it’s something he really needs to work on.

arrogant, sarcastic, and just a big fucking dick who needs to learn how to watch his mouth.

zoe:

not an pure baby angel, by any means. we’re at a disadvantage because we only see zoe when she’s sort of grieving (because grief can and will come in different ways, and while i see her as not missing connor, i do think that her pushing away her feelings is a form of her grieving imo? it’s a weird thing to explain but there’s a part of zoe that does miss (the old) connor’s presence as w the fake emails evan “gave her her brother back” (albeit a very fake version of connor) and sort of standoffish when it comes to the subject of connor

a bit of an ambivert. extremely outgoing when she’s around her friends or when it comes to music and other things she loves.

very individualistic! her style tends to have doodles on her clothes, she dyes her hair a lot, she probably would be the kind of person to make her own jewelry!

very sweet. the castng call for zoe describes her as being the kind of person who learns the names of the kids who sit alone at lunch and thats she goes out of her way to be nice to people since. connor. yeah.

thats all ive got for zoe but u can always send questions in and i can say yes or no after i ask my pals too

alana:

smart gal! valedictorian! president! i love her! tends to overshare a bit. anxiety + depression gal.

probably into gardening tbh? i can see alana having succulents in her room and maybe a dog that just chills with her.

dont be afraid to make alana mouthy. alana is someone whos extremely headstrong in her actions imo and does what she believes is right, even if others dont believe that. like… think about the fact that she literally published what was believed to be connor’s suicide note because she thought it’d get them the last bit of help they needed for the orchard. it literally fucked the murphys over - but she never considered that?

very much an extrovert. just really wants to belong, man. very optimistic on the surface but i can see her being a little less so underneath. she looks on the bright side because if she doesnt, she doesnt know who will and idk i dont think alana’s the kind of person who just... lets that risk be there.

connor:

we dont kno much abt connor in canon but uhhh…. i can see connor as being a loner, sort of aggressive by accident (tbh this dude’s probably used to people being a dick to him so he’s just sorta standoffish in response) but like… whenever i write connor i usually write him as getting better? he’s gotten the help he needs and he’s doin better

artsy depressed dude. poetry, painting, ect - whatever u want tbh. i just see connor, with help, finding himself in art or something creative (theatre and music included! u do u!)

very much a reader. this dude both has a lot of books on his bookshelf and a lot more books he hasnt fucking read because hes terrible at reading new books. (i personally hc he loves all of poe’s work)

to sorta sum connor up: bold, but not outgoing. caring, but not obvious with it (once he gets help btw). easily angered but sometimes he just doesn’t fucking know why and that frustrates him further. troubled.

honestly if u want to see one of my fave connors - check out @ask-sincerely-memes! i rly love how they portray all three of the boys, but connor is by far my favorite! (mod con and/or mod ev if u read this i love u)

OK ONTO THE BMC FUCKERS if you want to kno abt the adults for either show then feel free to ask

jeremy:

anxiety boy, but not evan hansen level of anxiety. more just… self deprecating, not super confident in himself, probably underestimates himself a lot.

jeremys hard to explain sometimes because a lot of his actions and dialogue comes naturally since i can actually relate to jeremy a lot, personality-wise? a really good fact to throw out there is i don’t think jeremy’s the kind of guy who just goes for stuff sometimes. he has to sorta be hyped up by others imo. michael motivated him to sign up for the play, rich and michael both played parts in getting him squipped (michael in the aspect of “lets check this out and see if its legit” bc i doubt jeremy would have genuinely done that on his own).

which really means jeremy isnt the kind of guy to just… confess things, unless it’s built up enough (i.e. jeremys confrontation w reader in unlonely since it was a conversation he’d been thinking about for a bit). in canon, he didnt really… confess to christine without the help of alcohol (at the halloween party) or without other people building him up (voices in my head).

im literally rereading jeremy fics rn because im trying to come up with a good way of describing him

extremely horny teenage boy. hormones suck. for anyone who writes nsfw: i dont see jeremy being incredibly kinky and sexual and dominant (god forbid) his first fucking time having sex. especially if its both him and the readers first time. sex can be clumsy. you can laugh during sex. but also sex smells. like… once you’ve smelled it, you fucking know it - its just a weird combo of sweat and bodily fluids.

that last part was just a PSA for ppl.

lightweight boy. a lot bolder when drunk. thank you.

honestly if u have any questions abt jeremy, i can try to answer them more specifically but this is as general as i can get.

michael

not an uwu anxious depressed innocent baby boy uwu. remember that michael literally withheld the mtn dew red from jeremy because he wanted an apology. remember that michael wouldnt have been squipped because michael had been completely comfortable with who he is. michael likes his place. he doesn’t want to be cool and popular - he likes who he is. michael in the bathroom was a peak moment of michael finally letting go of emotions he’d been withholding - jeremy calling him a “loser” was the final straw that broke him. thank u this has been a psa.

a goofy boy. probably snorts when he laughs and im not projecting there what are you talking about-

okay, canonically: likes video games, likes retro shit (probably the kind of nerd who LIVES for arcades and record stores and vintage clothing stores even if he doesnt mix that into his personal style), very into music. there’s a lot you can do with this!

imo he’s very caring? like. okay, yes he did withhold mtn dew red from jeremy - but michael still went through the trouble of finding and obtaining that in order to deactivate the squip. i think michael’s a fairly understanding dude, even if he has moments of anger.

just a very warm person. probably the kind of person who stops and makes sure people are okay when he notices they’re upset.

sometimes impulsive. sometimes very restless, imo. bouncy boy.

like w jeremy - you can absolutely send me questions abt michael (or anyone tbh!) and i’ll answer them the best i can! im by no means an expert but ive got pals i can bother in order to help get a solid answer :3

christine

chriiistiiiiiiiiine, the love of my life. a gal w ADD! please don’t forget that! i personally hc that she got into a theatre as a way of like… sort of getting energy out since she’s fairly restless??? track girl christine….. also good

loves herself a lot tbh! like. in the show, its canon that she has stuff to figure out but i personally think christine loves herself and her body and is proud of who she is?

very friendly, very open, very passionate abt theatre! these are basic facts lmao

very sweet! very smart! she’s like... The Girl in all the movies that everyones like “oh no i love her” bc shes just a bubbly gal

writing christine is really hard to describe sometimes. like with all the characters, i write what feels right and sounds right to me and to others.

but like... to be honest, as long as you stay a bit happy and supportive and loving with christine - you’re on the right track.

jake

god - one of my favorite boys to write sometimes because there’s a lot to do with jake’s character

he’s the ultimate cool dude in high school. probably the kind of dude who would join a frat in college. handsome, popular, flirtatious - you fucking name it man.

sorta effortlessly popular and cool. there’s problems underneath - considering his family - but it’s hard to see that he has flaws when everything just comes so easily to him.

a very caring and sweet dude tbh. his friends mean a lot to him and he’s the kind of boy who carries your books and asks where you’re going and how you’re doing

he makes mistakes. he gets aggressive and protective and just angry physically - he did try to attack jeremy, albeit drunk, based purely on the idea that jeremy was having sex w chloe - so like... that’s a good thing to acknowledge

i said hes flirtatious and he is - without realizing it. someone probably has called him out on it and he’s like “sorry what?” bc he was caught up in talking to someone and not realizing that the dillinger charm never went off. because it never goes off. rip.

rich

GOD, my FAVORITE BOY, the LOVE OF MY LIFE, i love him.

squipped: aggressive. a bully. stinky. 0/10.

post-squipcident: getting better. sorta numb at first before happy, outgoing rich resurfaces because He’s Fine! Do Not Worry! but y’know like... he definitely has a lot of problems with what he did and who he was while he had the squip

a bit sensitive imo. easily upset on certain topics, easily angered on others. really misses his mom (i hc she died and his dad took up drinking as a coping mechanism and its mainly rich and his older brother relying on each other but thats just me tbh.)

rich is tricky to write when it comes to his home life. while i see rich’s dad as being a loud drunk, others see him as being physically abusive and so forth and - okay, that’s your decision, but please make sure you’re being respectful and you post trigger warnings because some people are in abusive homes and it’s not a fun thing to read.

great sense of humor imo. flirtatious but in the more obvious “haha hey lets bone ;)” way. alternatively: flirtatious with squip, floundering a bit without it because all he knows is “haha hey wanna fuck”

would probably fight a dick for his pals. rly just loves his friends even if he doesn’t show it.

chloe

chloe is a bit hard to write without saying “shes kind of a bitch” but like... she is and she knows it and she fucking owns it.

casting call: “ confident, crass, sexy, manipulative, and downright mean at times”

so like. she’s nowhere near bein a sweet angel baby uwu

has problems. explore them. she literally was down to fuck brooke’s boyfriend since jeremy was dating brooke yknow. part of it could be alcohol but like... dont ignore that fact. like. she probs needs to talk to both brooke and jeremy.

i think of chloe as someone who can see the potential in others tbh. gets slightly annoyed when people arent achieving what they could - but i like to imagine she gets it after a while since some ppl dont have confidence and such.

yknow the kind of people that take charge when the situation calls for it? that’s chloe. she’s very much a leader. cunning, ambitious - she’s fucking ready.

brooke

more of an angel i guess? sweet, a bit insecure, and a little more caring. not very dominant in situations - tends to be more of a follower (as shown w her and chloe’s friendship)

very caring actually. she literally followed jeremy out and said “uhhh he was kind of a dick to women but i know u like eminem” upon his death in the show??? like??? she literally went to check on this boy.

imo she sorta needs to learn to be bolder. to not take shit. shes probably the kind of person who says yes to a lot of things even if they’re conflicting bc she doesn’t want to like... bother someone and make things worse

emotional, imo. fairly feminine.

its hard to keep describing sdfkjhds sorry

jenna

not popular. remember that she wanted people to be interested in her, which is why she gossips a lot

probably tends to overhear half of the gossip. other than that, i can see her easily finding shit out bc she has eyes Everywhere

bold, fairly extroverted, probably really fucking smart tbh. give her love. she deserves it.

thats both at me and everyone else. jenna rolan ily...

very much a big sister figure, post-squipcident. theres this kdrama i was watching where the main protag lives w a couple other girls and one of the oldest one of the bunch is very much a big sister figure that will call other people out on their bullshit because she knows protag isnt the kind of person to do that? thats jenna. and chloe, but mostly jenna.

probably the kind of person who wants to be helpful imo. she likes feeling useful.

#Anonymous #asks

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notesofarichlycolorednight · 7 years ago

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Hey, do you have any Luke and Tori headcanons?

oh yes!

do i ever

here we goooooooo ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

[aside] sorry this took so long. the day you sent this in, i was finishing up school work, then planning for a big cohort get-together, where i cooked so i had to shop and then spent 4 hrs cooking, and then i had to pack all day the next day, and then i had to travel literally all day after that. now i’m just reveling in being home and getting to spend time with my mom. but here i finally am!

once again under a cut, bc it gets p long

first and foremost, Ultimate Power Couple™

right next to percy and annabeth

not only are you jealous of their relationship off the battlefield, but they strike awe and fear into the hearts of those who do see them on the battlefield

second, but still foremost, MUTUAL PINING

this went on for at least 2 yrs, maybe 3

bc tori gets to camp a lil after luke does

they’re both traumatized and angry at their godly parent

they find a friend in each other, but since they’re still just kids, just friends is fine

but wait

they turn like 15/16? and oh boy hormones kick in and their “““““just friends””””” status starts to waver from “just friends” to “they’re my best friend” and secretly “i think i’m in love but don’t want to say anything bc it might ruin the friendship, what if they don’t feel the same”

these dorks

anyway, despite the staying best friends status, they are NOT shy abt pda or physical touch

catch them brushing arm or fingers, sharing smiles or looks, and oh man when they’re on the battlefield–it’s like they’re one, like they can read each other’s minds, they are completely in sync with each other

but you should see them spar with each other, it’s like watching them dance–a fluid and elegant, but deadly dance

it’s sublime–beautiful and terrifying

luke is still better hands down, but tori is a fast and eager learner, and he’s def got some competition

anyway, back to platonic (they-totally-want-it-to-be-romantic) touches

luke loves running his fingers through tori’s hair, bc it’s so soft, and he especially loves being able to hold her close (whether it be with her resting her head on his shoulder, or snuggling after lights out in his or her bunk in the hermes cabin) bc she smells like honey and strawberries

also hc that luke is just a cold person, like his body temp runs lower than most. his hands are the coldest™

and tori, while she may not run as warm as her brother, dan, still runs warmer than most (bc child of the sun god ya know)

bc of this, sometimes if luke’s feeling particularly gloomy or chilled, he’ll just glomp tori at random times, hugging her from behind usually, wrapping his arms around her waist, and resting his chin on her shoulder bc warms like a cat

also bc he gets to smell her hair

and tori would be lying if, during their mutual pining stage, she said she didn’t wish he’d kiss her neck or smth, if ya know what i mean

sometimes when they’re cuddling in the bunk at night, usually when tori has her back pressed against his chest, he’ll slide his hands under her shirt and rest them on her stomach, bc warms

the first time he did this without notice, tori squealed and almost woke the whole cabin up

now luke just likes to tease her and tries to surprise attack her with this technique, but it’s never the same as that first time

now luke, he LOVES it when tori runs her fingers through his hair and massages his scalp

ya heard of asmr? that’s what he gets when tori does this

oh and he def purrs–not actually, obvi, but he rumbles deep in chest, sounds of utter contentment that sure sound like purring

but he’ll 110% deny any of this if you ask him, so just don’t

tori only does this when they’re alone, bc she knows he doesn’t like other ppl knowing abt this One True Weakness

luke likes to trace tori’s scars on occasion, and at first it was a little uncomfortable, but after a while it was kinda nice–the gentleness in which he handled it, pressing his fingertips along them, light as a feather, it’s actually quite soothing

oh, but what makes tori shiver and her head tingle is when he traces her spine with his feather-light fingertips. she loves that

throughout the yrs from friends, to best friends, to mutual pining bffs they totes get insanely jealous when flirting from other campers happens

you’d think that’d be a clue that they really like each other and could take the next step without making things awkward, but no, they’re clueless

but anyway, they’re both good-looking, they get attention from many a camper

luke can tell when it’s flirting, tori can’t unless it’s someone else flirting with luke

tori likes to butt into the conversation so cheerfully, it’s passive-aggressive

luke just likes to sneak up and wrap his arm around tori’s waist, while glaring at his opponent

you’d think after so many horror stories from the one’s who’ve tried, others who are hopeful wouldn’t even try, but you’d be wrong

if they haven’t declared they’re going steady yet, and haven’t sealed it with a date to the fireworks show, there’s still a chance!

sometimes the other campers are too hopeful for their own good

you bet travis and conner are cashing in big time over all these tries

okay so this is deviating a lil from what i’ve actually written, but whatevs

tori has never kissed anyone before–too young before, then her mom died and she was sent to camp and thrown into a dangerous world, with hate in her heart, she wasn’t really looking for a romantic relationship–more on this in a minute

luke on the other hand, i’d like to think has had experience kissing others, just bc, ya know he’s a handsome dude (totally not straight btw, fite me)

and it’s not that he doesn’t want to ultimately end up with tori or anything, it’s more like he used the time they were mutually pining for each other to experiment and kinda-sorta-not really date others

which only strengthens his feelings for tori in the end, bc even after having these relationships, he still finds his heart yearning for tori ya know?

dating is an important thing in young ppl’s lives, guys seriously the only thing rick did right in the burning maze lbr

and tori’s demi, so while she can still date, kisses aren’t really her thing until she knows them way better, and she never gets that far bc of her past experiences and trauma

luke got lucky, he somehow found a way past her walls and into her heart

this dating-but-not-really sitch is rough with their whole, “they get insanely jealous” thing, another reason you’d think others would stop trying

when it comes time for tori and luke’s first kiss–THEY FINALLY ADMITTED IT–tori admits she’s never kissed anyone before

and is honestly jealous that luke has experience, and she doesn’t

“thankfully i’m a great teacher”

it’s a lil rough at first, it is her first kiss after all–there’s a lot blushing and stuttering and apologies on her part

but like with swordsmanship, tori’s a fast and eager learner

and when she gets the kissing thing down, luke can’t. get. enough.

she’s a great kisser, and bonus, her lips taste like honey and are so soft, like her hair, and gods it’s so unfair, luke has to work so hard to keep his hair nice and keeping his lips even slightly softish is a lost cause so he’s just given up

now, luke can charm anyone

but tori is the only one who can charm luke

and you bet your ass she uses that to her full advantage when she can

like say, during capture the flag games, (deviating a lil more from the canon i’ve created) after tori is claimed and now resides in the apollo cabin, and the apollo and hermes cabin, for whatever reason, end up on opposite sides

like they don’t hold back when facing each other, but tori turns on the charm and luke is disarmed, both physically and mentally, ending in his capture

he may be quick, but if he can’t get to the flag in the first place, well that’s a problem innit

she likes to make him nervous on purpose, esp when they first were going steady and he wasn’t quite so used to the whole dating his best friend thing, bc he’s a dork when he’s nervous and she loves seeing that side of him

okay lbr he’s a dork all the time, and esp around tori even if she isn’t making him nervous, he just hides it really well

and it’s really not hard to do tbh, she just has to smile a certain way, laugh a certain way, or look at him wide brown eyes and he’s done for

jumping back a lil, when he first realizes he may in fact be in love with tori, he unconsciously starts buying more brown shirts (this hc can be credited to @lucifers-favorite-child) until he has more brown than orange chb tees bc tori

sometimes, when camp is at its emptiest, they’ll sneak showers with each other

oh and i know what you’re thinking, “lololol shower sex” but honestly that’s not really for them

they just like being near each other, and intimate with each other in the shower

they help each other get clean, massage each others shoulders, wash each others hair–its almost meditative

the first time it happens, though, it’s a lil out of blue

it’s the winter session and so camp is p barren. the hermes cabin is quiet and empty except for tori, who’s just started a shower, and luke who’s wanting a shower after training all afternoon

luke knocks on the wall next to her shower stall (bc curtains) and she peeks out

“mind if i join you” ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

instead of rolling her eyes, tori blushes and stutters, like she’s trying to think of a way to turn him down gently

at this point, they’ve def seen each other naked, so it’s not like its a huge deal. what luke doesn’t know is that tori was having a rough day, namely abt her scars, even tho luke’s already seen them

luke smiles easily, “it’s okay if you say no. i was mostly joking.”

tori looks away and mumbles, “no, i don’t mind” then looks back at him with those beautiful brown eyes, so of course he gives in

so luke undresses and hops in the shower. tori’s waiting, facing him, gripping her left arm where her scars are, and biting her lip

and it clicks into place, bc they’ve become so in-tune with each other that sometimes words don’t need to be said at all

luke approaches her and gently caresses her face before kissing her

and this is when they learn that they really do just like to quietly help wash each other

when luke gets to tori’s back and is watching the soap get washed away by the water, luke wraps his arms around her waist and pulls her into him, gently kissing her scars

and tori’s glad they’re in the shower bc she doesn’t want luke to know that she’s quietly crying at his sweet, comforting gesture

bc she’s never felt so loved in her entire life than right in that moment

and, oh guys! TRADE SCECRET

it’s an idea i came up with forever ago and forgot until thinking abt hcs for my two dorks. i had wanted to insert into inas somehow, but never found the right moment or opportunity, and then forgot abt it bc shit got real, real fast

but now I CAN TALK ABT IT

so it started as a birthday present for tori, this is during their just-feeling-out-this-friendship stage, only a handful of months after they’ve arrived at camp

he surprises her with a slice of strawberry cheesecake (bc ya know, Healthy Camp Food) and she asks him how she got it, and instead of telling her that he bribed a kid from the demeter cabin to make it for him (by promising to sneak out of camp and get real, sugar-infused, teeth-rotting soda)

he just smiles, winks and says, “trade secret”

and it becomes a tradition/inside joke between the two

tori gives him engraved lock-picking tools (even tho she knows he doesn’t actually need them), in a small leather carrier and everything

and if you’ve seen them, they’re pretty thin bc they kinda need to fit into tight spaces, but sure enough they’re engraved and luke is astonished, and asks her how???

she just smiles, winks and says, “trade secret” she bribed a hephaestus kid, but since she not a hermes kid she had to trade chores

after tori figures out he’s just being a clever hermes kid (luke’s always known that she had to bribe campers), the saying turns into something more like, “i have a surprise waiting for you”

whether that surprise be a birthday or anniversary gift, or a way out of a sticky situation with monsters/during capture the flat or smth, almost like a code between the two–it has many meanings, but one all at the same time

so instead of saying it after the gift is revealed, they’ll say it before

“why do you ask?” “trade secret”

“why do you want to know?” “trade secret”

they’re surrounded by opposing team members, have lost their weapons, and it looks like the red team is abt to take out two of the blue team’s most valuable players

“we’ve got you now”

“oh i don’t think so”

“how would you know?”

luke just smirks and says, “trade secret” and tori knows exactly what is means (or vice versa)

they end up winning that particular game for the blue team

okay that’s all i got for right now

this was so much fun!! i could talk abt these things all day so keep sending stuff in, like for real

thank you, thank you, thank you btw for sending this in!! sorry it took so long, it’s been a rough few days–still winding down, but really wanted to get this to you

seriously guys i could talk abt all this stuff for days, send me thingsssssss

thanks again, anon, and hope to hear from you soon!

#oh god for shame! i do not even know your name #notesofananonymousnight #asked and answered #my oc: tori williams #luke castellan #pjo fanfic #pjo hcs #inas #i need another story #my fanfic #my writing

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rhetoricandlogic · 6 years ago

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Ally

by NALO HOPKINSON

PUBLISHED IN MAY 2018 (ISSUE 68) | 3100 WORDS

It’d been a warm, sunny spring afternoon. The grass in the cemetery was green, the roses and lavender in the wreaths fragrant. Iqbal’s funeral had been a quiet affair, all things considered.

Our circle was getting too old for the type of soap opera drama that had marked our younger years. We’d lived for enough decades that my friends and I had settled into some kind of rhythm, had dared to allow some of our sharp edges to be burnished smooth.

So by the time of Iqbal’s funeral, Joachim had long since given up staging drunken screaming matches in parking lots with Jésus for stealing Joachim’s boyfriend Steve, lo these many years ago. After all, soon after Steve had left him, Joachim had met and bottomed to Randall at a play party, and they’d been together ever since. Randall had ceased lamenting the flawless beauty of his youth to anyone who would (or wouldn’t) listen. He’d started dating a couple of eager smooth-skinned houseboys, vetted by Joachim. The young men kept Joachim’s and Randall’s boots spit-polished. Randall had let his hair grow in grey, waxed his mustachios, and relaxed into his daddy role.

Munroe had become an actual daddy as a result of a drunken evening with his dyke friend Alice. He ended up sharing custody of the little girl with her—mostly amicably, with some glaring exceptions. “Baby” Tina was twenty-two years old now. She’d attended the service with hugs for all her uncles and me, her aunty. Almost everyone had remembered to call me Sally. After all, it’d been seven years. Pete did slip up and call me “Jack . . . er, Sal,” but I didn’t bite his head off; he was, after all, burying his husband. But it��s been seven fucking years, dude, and you’re still making that mistake?

When I transitioned, Pete’s awkwardness about it had cooled our friendship down quite a bit. So as I stood beside the grave site with the others, watching the coffin being lowered mechanically into the hole and longing to get out of the black pumps that were crushing my toes in two very stylish vises, I was surprised when my phone buzzed with a text from Pete: The bar in an hour? Just you and me?

Well. It’d been years since he and I had hung out like that, but I knew exactly which bar he meant. I texted back, Make it an hour and a half. To underline that I wasn’t going to let him “Jack” me again, I added, Momma needs to slip into something more comfortable.

I only stopped at home long enough to switch my heels for flats and give the hubby a squeeze, but Pete was already waiting when I got to the bar. He was nursing a virgin Manhattan, extra maraschino cherries. Nowadays, sugar was his drug of choice. He looked glumly up at me and kicked out the chair opposite his. The haunted look in his eyes made my heart ache. I sat. He said, “Rye and soda?” I didn’t even need to nod. He knew what I liked, and was already signalling the waitress.

Two women sitting together at the bar gave me the side-eye. They leaned their heads together to talk, scowling at me the whole time. Easy to figure what they had their panties in a twist about. “You okay?” I asked Pete. “Never mind. Stupid question.”

His eyes met mine. “Something happened the other day.”

“With Iqbal?”

He frowned. “Yes. No. I’m not sure.”

I sighed. “Tell me.”

He tried on an ill-fitting smile. “I dunno. It’s dumb. You’ll think I’m crazy.”

“‘But you must be mad,’” I quoted. “‘We’re all mad here.’”

Unlike the Cheshire Cat’s, his smile became a little more real as he quoted back: “‘There’s no use trying. One can’t believe impossible things.’” His smiled cracked. “Maybe it was just the stress. Of everything. Of Iqbal . . .”

My drink had arrived. I took a sip, let the bite and chill of it roll around on my tongue, swallowed. “Pete, I’m listening. You know I always will, no matter how crazy the thing you have to tell me.” No matter how hurt I was that we weren’t really friends any more.

His eyes were wet. “You remember Mrs. Richardson.”

It wasn’t a question. Pete and I had known each other since we were teenagers in high school. He was the first person I told outright that I wasn’t a boy. He’d laughed it off, quite gently. But I’d never mentioned it to him again.

And of course I remembered that cunt. She shouldn’t have been allowed near kids, much less allowed to foster young Pete. Meeting a foster kid had been quite the eye-opener for me. Meeting the spinning ball of hatred that was Mrs. Richardson made the skin on my arms crawl, made me almost grateful for my passive-aggressive mother and my transphobic dad.

I said, “One minute she’d be sweet as pie, the next she’d be raging.”

“She wasn’t always like that, though. At some point, she changed.”

I hadn’t known that. “Really? What turned her evil, then?”

“The other way round, Sal.”

Good. I was back to being Sally, or as close as Pete would get to it. “Wait—you mean she used to be worse?”

He nodded. “When I was first placed with her, she’d come at me night and day. She said I was a lost cause, but she would whip me into shape. Once I laid the table with the knives and forks on the wrong side of the plates. She sent me to bed without dinner.”

“Seriously?”

“She made me do all kinds of evening and weekend chores till I was so tired, I fell asleep on top of my homework. Then she punished me for getting bad grades. Took my socks away that fall and winter. Couple of my toes never recovered from the frostbite.”

It felt like the bottom had dropped out of my belly. “We were friends! Why didn’t you tell me?” The Mrs. Richardson I’d met mostly yelled a lot. Vile things, usually variants of “dumbass.” And she’d refused to give permission for Pete to go on any school trips.

“I’d only just met you. It started happening in summer, when you were away at camp. And anyway, it didn’t last long.”

“Lasted long enough for you to get frostbite that winter.”

He shrugged. “What good would telling you have done?”

“We could have told my folks, or the school! Someone would have gotten you out of there!” I was nearly shouting. People near us glanced at us then looked away.

“You’ve never been a foster kid. More likely, no one would have believed us and the investigation would just have made her hate me even more.”

All that time, he’d been suffering. And all this time, he’d kept his secret from me.

“She was careful to only hit me in places the bruises wouldn’t be seen.”

“Jesus.” I sucked back more of my drink and waited for him to continue. But he stayed silent. I prompted him: “What made her get nicer? Or at least, made her stop physically hurting you?”

“I’ve told you about my dad, right?”

Clearly he needed to change the subject. “Yeah, a bit.” Pete’s dad had raised him alone. Got hit by a car and killed when Pete was thirteen. That’s how Pete had ended up in foster care.

“Dad used to let me read Alice in Wonderland to him. He took me fishing, worked on my science fair projects with me. He never raised a hand to me.

“I saw the accident, rode with Dad in the ambulance. He was bleeding, semi-conscious, but he held my hand till he couldn’t any more. He kept saying, ‘I’ll come back to you, Petey. I have to look after you.’ And then of course he didn’t come back. He died. And I was sent to Mrs. Richardson.” Pete clamped his hands around his drink. They were trembling a little. I wondered whether he’d even told Iqbal about Mrs. Richardson.

My drink had gone right through me, and I desperately needed to pee. I knew from past experience this place had segregated washrooms. That’s why—or one of the reasons why—I’d stopped coming to this bar. I crossed my legs and leaned forward in my chair, as Pete clearly had more to say about that bloody bitch.

“One day, she was hitting me—on my legs—and I was trying to act like it wasn’t hurting. She was pissed because of some damned thing she thought I’d done, I don’t even remember what. I do remember I was trying to tell her that I hadn’t done it, and she was shouting, ‘Children should be seen and not heard!’”

I stared at Pete, my mouth open in shock.

“Suddenly she stopped mid-swing, with her hand pulled up, like someone had grabbed her by the wrist. She opened her eyes wide and said, ‘Petey.’ And . . . she stopped hitting me. She dropped to her knees to look at the bruises that were coming up on my thighs. And then she said the strangest thing.”

“What?” I was trying hard to forget my twinging bladder. One of the two TERFy dykes had just gone to the washroom. The other was watching me, her lip curled in disgust.

“She said, ‘What did she do to you?’ You know, talking about herself in the third person? Then she went to hug me! That freaked me the fuck out. I pushed her away. She stood up, looked confused. She asked me where the kitchen was.”

“In her own house? Was she having a stroke, or something?”

“Yeah, maybe. Iqbal was confused too, when he had his first stroke . . .”

“Hey,” I said, “Do you want to get out of here, just go home? Or come back to our place? We have a guest room, you could spend the night.”

But Pete was looking off into the memory distance. He continued, “I pointed to where the kitchen was. She came back with cold water and paper towel. She dabbed my bruises and said she was sorry, that it was such a long way back and she’d brought the water as quickly as she could.”

“Bitch was seriously crazy.”

Pete had the waiter bring us refills. I hoped I could hold my water. In a pinch, I could dash back home, use the toilet there, be back in twenty, thirty minutes tops, and not risk being attacked for the unforgiveable crime of peeing in a public toilet.

“After that,” said Pete, “I never knew whether I was going to get evil Mrs. Richardson or good Mrs. Richardson. It messed with my head. Sometimes she’d just sit in her armchair in front of the TV and mutter, like she was arguing with herself. And sometimes she’d just look scared out of her wits. I was so glad when I was legal to leave.”

I smiled. “I was bigtime envious of you, getting to be on your own when you were sixteen.”

“You were an idiot, then.”

“Yeah, probably.”

“That was no picnic, either.” He sipped his drink, then looked up. “I just remembered something. The day I left, I was just heading out the door when she put her hand on my shoulder. I nearly jumped out of my skin. She said, ‘I’m sorry I couldn’t look after you the whole time. It’s such a long way round.’ Then her hand fell away, and her face just changed. She stepped back. She watched me leave, and the look on her face was the most hatred I’ve ever had directed at me. And that’s saying something. I scrambled down the driveway like the Devil was at my heels.”

I shuddered. “Did you ever see her again?”

“Not her, no. Heard she’d jumped in front of a car, or something. Didn’t care.”

“Pete,” I said gently, “You were telling me about Iqbal?”

He stared into his glass, spoke with his head still down. “We used to fight. Like, knockdown fistfights.”

“Oh, no.”

“’Fraid so. Blood was shed, there were trips to Emergency, the police were called.”

“Police? To a fight between two brown men?”

“Yeah. It’s a miracle we survived.”

When one lives in a world in which large portions of it want one dead, every minute is a triumph, every breath a defiance, and, if one’s jib is cut that way, every statement a manifesto. The everyday vagaries of life and love are just writ that much larger, because they mean that much more. The game of “he said/he said” is raised to a level of artistry rivalled only by the sport of kings. Every breakup is forever, because love may never find one ever again. Every new lover becomes one’s whole life, because one is stealing love from the jaws of hatred. What t-shirt to wear with the perfect jeans to go clubbing is almost as brutally important as what words to write on one’s placard to attend that demonstration against legalizing faith-based homophobia. “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. It stopped, all the violence between us. One day, Iqbal took his hands from around my throat—”

“Pete!”

“—and he looked at his hands as though he’d never seen them before. He said, ‘No more. I’m not going to fight you anymore.’ I mean, it didn’t end right away. For one thing, I wasn’t ready to stop. Didn’t know how, really. But Iqbal really meant it. He’d changed. Eventually he got me to go to counselling with him. And bit by bit, we figured shit out. Figured out how to be good to each other.” Pete sobbed, once, so loudly that people three tables over stopped to look our way. “God, Sally, I miss him so much.”

“I know, honey.” I took his hand in mine. He jumped at my touch. I tried not to feel hurt.

“You know the last thing he said to me?”

I shook my head.

“He said, “I found my way home to you, Petey. I looked after you. I got better at it, so that I could be with you all the time.” He went unconscious after that, and was gone by the next morning.”

“He loved you very much. That wasn’t strange at all.”

He nodded absently, then pulled his hand away to pick his glass up. He had a sip. “Okay,” he said. “I suppose. But here’s the thing; only my dad ever called me Petey.”

I tried to concentrate through the yammering of my bladder. “No, that’s not right. Didn’t you say that Mrs. Richardson did?”

“Once. The day she stopped hitting me.”

“And Iqbal?”

“Once. The last time he was conscious.” Pete’s hands started shaking so badly that he had to set the glass down. He put his hands in his lap. “So what I’m really asking myself is: who was I married to all those years?”

Something squirmed in the pit of my belly. How could he even think—? “Pete . . .” I whispered.

He jumped to his feet. “I’m sorry, Sal. It’s just been so hard the last couple of days. Losing Iqbal, the funeral, all those people to be polite to while . . .” He stopped, his face pulled into the lineaments of grief. “My head’s just been full of all these weird thoughts.”

“I understand,” I murmured. But I didn’t. “You need to be gentle with yourself this next little while.”

“Let me get the check.” He put some bills on the table.

“Okay, thanks, but first I just need to . . .” I stood, clamping down hard on my aching bladder. Another reason to be thankful I’d diligently done all those post-surgery kegels.

Pete sighed, as one does when one is about to say something difficult for others to hear. “It’s just that . . . well, Mrs. Richardson, Iqbal; people around me keep turning into someone else. You used to be Jack; now you’re Sally.”

The cold burn of betrayal and erasure was just about to tsunami over me, scouring me from skin to bone, when he got a strange look in his eye. In a clear voice, he said, “But Jack is just what people called you. I finally figured it out. You were always Sally. You have always been exactly who you are right now.”

I can be an emo bitch sometimes. When I started weeping, he pulled me into his arms. “Sally, I’m sorry I’ve been such a dick.” For the first time in years, my friend and I held each other like the close companions we used to be.

And then I really, really had to go. I waited, hot-footing, till I was as sure as I could be that there was no one in the Women’s. Pete stood outside the door painted with the stick figure lady in a triangle skirt until I exited safely. He walked me home, hugged me again on the street outside my apartment building. I told him I’d check in on him tomorrow, waved goodbye as he headed off in the direction of the subway station.

Age and a track record of survival can bring poise to a life lived cheek by jowl with the possibility of danger. You might say that one’s trigger becomes less hairy. Nevertheless, one is always watchful for that slight shift, the moment when a situation turns.

That new look in Pete’s eye, the complete change of demeanour. And wasn’t that the first time, he’d called me Sally? Not Jack-er-Sal. Not Sal. Sally.

In the long elevator ride up to my twenty-first floor apartment, I tried not to ask myself whether Pete’s sudden change of heart had been all him. As I kissed my sleeping husband and got ready for bed, I tried not to feel guilty that I didn’t care who had been behind Pete’s eyes. Whoever it was, they were my friend.

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Nalo Hopkinson

Nalo Hopkinson lives in a home filled with books, art supplies, tools, art projects at various stages of unfinished, more books, and brown-skinned mermaids. She has aches, pains, chronic fatigue, and a quirky brain. She has far too much to do, and nowhere near enough time to marathon watch annoying but addictive science fiction TV. She loves dance. She’s working on a novel about a monster carried by a girl who turns into a woman. The girl does, not the monster. She cooks great food (mostly) and mismanages her schedule. She doesn’t answer her phone or check her voice mail messages.

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