#to say that judas fucking exploded

[possumteeths]

Judas hanging himself is pussy shit, in the book of acts (apocrypha that’s not often in biblical canon) the motherfucker shit himself and exploded and he had enough blood and guts in him that it covered a whole field as if god gave him MORE BLOOD to make a statement.

“With the payment he received for his wickedness, Judas bought a field; there he fell headlong, his body burst open and all his intestines spilled out. Everyone in Jerusalem heard about this, so they called that field in their language Akeldama, that is, Field of Blood.” (Acts 1:18-19).

[im-diseased-but-cool]

Gimme be honest fellas I can't stop thinking about the parallel of Lucifer loving God so much and God cast him away and fuccijf Sam and Dean like it drives me crazy. I hate these bitches so much they've ruined my life I have never thought about Cain and Abel but guess what folks! I AM THINKING ABOUT THOSE BROTHERS BEVAUSE OF THESE STUPID FUCKING TWINK ASS FAGS!!!!! Sam and Dean die maybe but don't god im in shambles

[aceofwhump]

Ok it's been a few years and Graceland has firmly burrowed into my brainstem. I think by now my opinion on Paige has shifted around a bit. At first I was 100% anti Paige and had no nuance on her, but now I see the potential in her, and I think if Graceland got more seasons, she could have come around tbh. I think she is the fucked up version of what Mike could have become, she'd been undercover longer than him and had already seen horrible shit before he ever moved in. Idk they're just so compelling to me now for some reason, like the Judas dynamic just scratches a good part of my brain 🤌🤌

Hi friend!

Paige. Oh Paige. I have such complicated feelings about Paige. For the most part I still hate her so much. Like she makes me so damn angry I could scream and I hate hate HATE how she treats Mike. Like I will never forgive her for literally killing him and some of the things she says to him is insane. Her whole attitude towards Mike in season 2 infuriates me.

But yes I can see her side of things as well and there's a tragic side to her as well. She feels things so deeply and feels such a need to protect and rescue those girls in s2 that it just clouds everything else around her. S2 Paige is so angry and so heartbroken and feels so helpless and she is trying to do something good and she can't and it breaks her and she ends up blaming Mike for everything and then shit just explodes. It's heartbreaking. She's been through so much shit and she's losing the one chance she has to do some good and it's killing her and unfortunately she takes out all of her frustration and blame and anger on Mike who really is just trying to do the best he can with what he has and it all goes completely to shit. I agree that if we had more seasons I think Paige's character could have made some really fascinating strides and development. I think another season or two and my attitude on her might have changed. But sadly we don't have that and my opinion on Paige is still very low. She infuriates me and I really really hate how she treats Mike. I hate it.

One thing about Graceland that just gnaws at me though is definitely related to Paige vs Mike. That you've got this house full of older agents who have been doing this for ages. They've seen a lot of horrible shit, had to DO a lot of horrible shit. They know how bad people can be and everything they've seen and done has changed them. They're jaded and broken down from it all. And then Mike comes in and he's young and he's hopeful and he's idealistic and so so green. And at first that's refreshing. They needed some young blood to remind them why they're doing this job and how things should be. But then we watch the job affect Mike. We watch him be beaten down and while he's still that hopeful, idealistic young agent he's not the same as when they started. And it affects the whole house.

Graceland is just a show that really makes me feel things ya know!??! I'm losing my mind over it all again.

[danwhobrowses]

My Highlights from AEW Double or Nothing 2023

We did Night of Champions now it's AEW's turn to do the big PPV. While people will say it wasn't built well (something they said last year if I recall) there's a lot of potentially great wrestling matches on the card, so let's see how it went down on the night and list out the positives.

Note: because of growing disinterest and lack of time on my bank holiday I won't be doing NXT Battleground that aired at the same time, sorry about that

Spoilers for the PPV

Buy-In

Paul Wight looking to Stokely when Renee said the 'biggest big man', their rapport was great too we could put them as a commentary team...if we still had Dark/Elevation

RJ's interview with Arn was funny too

The Gunns didn't have the same music but I do like that they kept the spotlight entrance

Gonna sound weird, but it's good to see HOOK sell, of course doing several squashes can help you grow a reputation but if you can't sell you're only doing half the work

It's smart that the Owen is finishing in Calgary this year, I wonder who is in it though

Main Show

Kip going straight for OC is clever and fits continuity, also it was smart that Bandido made the save given his affiliation with Best Friends

Swerve waiting on the outside too is smart

Brian Cage's run against the Luchadors were fun, reminded me of his Lucha Underground days

Trent sacrificing himself for OC

I had Jay winning but Ricky eliminating Jay was well done

The final sequence of the battle royale was great, need a proper Swerve vs OC match, the final move is hilarious as well, perfectly on brand

And I'm not upset that OC retained, because as much as this would've protected OC, whoever takes it from his exhausted bruised flavedo deserves to do it 1 on 1

Sabu's role was mercifully brief, mainly designed to remove the JAS

Britt getting some revenge on Jericho and Saraya with the Kendo Shots

Clever of Jericho to shift into a choke with the chain when he missed the Judas Effect

Mark Briscoe's ref outfit

The pop for Sonjay getting ejected

Also the heat for Karen hitting Aubrey, you don't hit Aubrey!

It was good story payoff too that Jarrett snapping on Mark was his own downfall

Tease of Bullet Club vs FTR?

Saraya and Jericho actually gel really well

Christian back with his turtleneck, it always puts a smile on my face

The final third of the ladder match was well done, it was a good adlib from the broken ladder incident too

Dang Julia

The Dominik burn by the Acclaimed's rap

Jade's entrance was impressive too

I don't think it was a Sit-out Blue Thunder Bomb (looked almost like an Olympic Slam/Powerbomb to me) but whatever it was I thought it was cool

STATLANDER'S BACK!

STATLANDER BEAT JADE!

Congrats to Tay and Sammy as well, explains why we hadn't seen Tay in-ring either

Darby's video before his entrance was hilarious too

And that attire, half bones, half Elvis, perfection

The orchestral MJF entrance with the descending throne too was on brand extra from Max

MJF's dialogue before being hit is still humorous

And his pop-up Powerbomb/Backbreaker is still meaty as fuck

The mentor finisher reference too was a great spot

Also Sammy tricking Max by laying down, saw it coming but still a clever move

The pinning sequences spot too

A clever finish to a great match too, Darby thwarted by JB and then Max, JB thwarted by his own indecision, Sammy thwarted by Darby but Max once again seals it with a headlock takeover

If there was any doubt that the Four Pillars match wouldn't rock, that doubt is now silenced

SHIT'S ABOUT TO HIT THE FAN

Irony of Vegas singing Kansas too

It's not Anarchy in the Arena if the match starts while Wild Thing is still going

Danielson was slid down the stair railing

Rick Knox is even blading!

And the Bucks Superkick the singer XD

Mox going full CZW with the fork

Piledriver in the back of a car

Moxley and Yuta doing the same move that lost them the last Anarchy in the Arena was a clever move that went under the radar

EXPLODING SUPERKICK!?

Claudio doing the crab walk with Yuta on his shoulder

Conclusion

It was not perfect, but thanks to the double main event the show ended up being a good one. I'm of course irked by some things; Takeshita heel turn (he's too pure for that Tony!), Jamie losing in what was essentially a sprint, and the finish of the Unsanctioned Match (if AEW is not responsible for the harm caused by the competitors why is there a ref stoppage?), but the lows are outweighed by the good. We had some exciting twists that did reignite the crowd when they got quiet and both the Four Pillars and Anarchy in the Arena matches were as advertised.

My hope is that we find directions for the likes of Taya, Acclaimed, and many of the Battle Royal competitors, which Collision may manage to cater towards, but I can honestly say while it wasn't a great PPV, it was still worth the money, and I had more fun watching this than I did Night of Champions by a fair margin.

Match of the Night: Tough to call but I'm gonna go with the Four Pillars Four-Way over Anarchy in the Arena, Take my boy why you gotta be heel? And not even BCC Heel you gotta be Don Callis Heel!? I would've preferred betrayed heel Dark Order tbf not the Cinnabon man! Best Entrance: Entrances don't get used too often which is why I tend to omit it but since we had 6 unique entrances in this show I'm picking Jade Cargill Best Attire: I feel fine about picking Jade for Best Entrance because Darby wins best attire for me with the Elvis/Skeleton suit Best Performance: Four Pillars tie, they all just did so well Spot of the Night: Exploding Superkick by Matt

[f0xd13-blog]

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Oh that part ain't fake your character is. Not to him specifically. You know you need to built character and let go of the nerdy otaku stuff a bit not litetally you can play with your dolls or wtv but like on tv... get it real not just in the ring like be real you know... indians vs jews coz they think that's what wrestling was for and that their lil racist story is any relevant? Hmmmm

Nd i don even wanna talk bout aew coz there's people over there but like wtf .. why are they all harry potter gypsy and then celebrate anushka? So annoying like you want me to see that as only business after what happened in the real world?

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No shit. They are racist and legally which is crazy.

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Ehehhehehehe witch laughterz

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He wasn't that suprised tho that's his uncle they are both jr duhh the evidence just keeps on comming

Belonging is a word throwed a around a lot .. well what do you mean by belonging? Is it belonging in a company? Because those words never came out of my mouth but it is funny how this mirrors israel they play the "they say we don belong here" but behind people backs while nobody is watching gaza exists... so who is not the one belonging? trowing me out of the window everytime and giving 2000 championships to jews? Dang certainly im the one bullying people out of their place right? I ain't just mad because you made me into a joke for years and now that is exploding on my hands IN THE REAL WORLD

Anyways words are empty when you look at things and clearly by your product im the one that is not belonging

Like my people invented that thang why isn't we getting the fruits of what we planted?it's just common sense. Ii'm tired of that childish shit... it's always trible chief mode "does that person belong in my tribe of monkes"? Listen i don care about that shit... look back at the product who was the people that made you? And listen the lack of them obvious by your ratings. Its like trying to invade nba and then ask the black people that in fact made that sport why do they think they dont belong... yess you do but stay at your place and respect the elders.. isn't that the values you stole from my culture?

And then the belong things gets turned into perfect blue shit like... so you belong so you are rn using my mask while my people get killed and you is a jew and im living in the conditions im living you see its shit.. i would respect a nasty jew that only wants to get gold and be nasty but no you chose to make my life a joke for protagonism and thats why i would stab you in reality and maybe you would wake up from that theatre you do in the ring that should be a lil bit more in touch with reality maybe just a bit you know... its like a said jews will forever be trash that don't know their limits

If you think that any jew ever invented a character you are wrong because how can you when you don't even understand wtf you are doing... you could but you can't coz you don't listen since the iron sheik be screaming at your ears that y'all a bunch of jabronis... like he wasn't lying that's the thing!

You can't invented a character when you think that we are a character as in this ain't real just coz it is a performance that is why they suck and they will never learn! Every major wrestling character is gypsy because wrestling is gypsy like you can't try to be us and say that ain't happening we just know

No not even stone cold is an original character that's the thing! Im yet to find a jewish character that isn't just them trying to be us because they don understand it was never fake

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Jews want congo's minerals and resources... booooooo wow reality. You are trying to make a jew a fucking hero and the representation of christ and the joker at the same time and im like .. my Judas say what? DOESN'T MAKE SENSE

Nd then of course we start wondering about the reasons for that right? Because it's so out of this world like if they was on a massive wormhole completely disconnexted from the rest of the worlds perceptions for what? That's the question and don tell me you are trying to show individuality coz i hurt everyday because you contributed to that sort of ignorance about my situation... don tell me people wouldn't see your individuality because a lot of peeps that are hating jews would maybe even aplaud it for it being real... nobody would try to kill seth rollins for telling the truth aboit his character and what he really represents lol

And the most ridiculous shit about this is... am i really teaching this to an entire industry that should know better? Like this is ridiculous

Yess obviamente im the one deciding who doesn't belong in wrestling look at where iam now look at seth rollins and sami zayn and his bloodline pffff pls don make me laugh ok? Wake up!!! When the sheik called you jabroni he was legit calling you a jabroni for a reason we do use sense also just like any person (should ... nowadays that is not a common trait)

So it was literally him saying idk why this fucking jabronis (mostly jews and payos that don know why wrestling exists and have no character because we know hen the character is just a wannabe gypsy) think they have a say just coz they got through indie wrestling and wrestling school totally a capitalization of our culture which is fine if you knew it was a culture and respected their people as such which is not the case at all omg people don even know how to behave accordingly around us just watch the comments around fury's appearence and the ronaldo rumour and can even go as far as to say we don own our own gimmick that jewish that capitalized it does... thats insane! You should had taught your wwe universe better. He was literally always screaming on twitter. The last interviews he did he was always super pissed for a reason. Specially when those interviews was conducted by misleading kevin nash.

Here.. it's baby iron sheik

We can also look like this even in iran btw

Now lez go back to another sort of cancer:

This one really looks like the iron sheik ahaha missing the moustache... that kids needs a moustache

"Don't take drugs" and then he looks insane ahahah i love him

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A post shared by Psi Manoj Rajput (@psi_manoj_rajput)

Iron sheik but make it circus leader ;)

Britney is back but she is in Polinésia i fear for hee life she is going to be turned into a jewish samoan and don trust the ceasefire reports

Well is he wrong? Because after putting prisioners at the streers after that scheme called covid probably on purpose to which we don know the effects of what they be doing out there since those people can looking like the biggest politican ever... and after fascist latrashtinos schemes comming from countries full of fascism... and the recent uprise of extremest marxist movements in the usa you can't really blame him for being careful with immigration. Also idk how that co relates to the italian thang that was in fact racist coz we are their indigenous people for centuries and they caught us from egypt we never immigrated there we immigrated to greece so they took us from greece and egypt...

Litetally we was abused for centuries there that's why they have a hard time now... now you don want to be responsible for what you did... nah now you have to include us coz i ain't going to invade egypt just coz you like to get rid of you past

[poltergeist-coffee]

I take my eyes off him for a moment

I TAKE MY EYES OF FOREVER FOR A MOMENT AND THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS TO HIM

YOU DON'T JUST NAME A STREAM "THE END 1/3", FOREVER, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

No, don't you hit Richas, filho da mãe, STOP SHOOTING YOU BASTARD

Forever likes to play with our hearts

Mah boi what are you doing?

He's NeverPlayer now?

"I don't care what's happens with this body, it's not mine anyway"

What do you mean?

HOST?

WHAT IS THAT THING ON HIM?

GET OFF MY CUBITO TU HIJO DE TU PUTA MADRE

WHAT LIST ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT???????

DON'T SHOOT RICHAS, YOU KEEP THAT GUN AWAY FROM MY SON

His eyes glow:0

"imagine that I'm petting your head right now"

My man is full on villain arc

YAAAAAAAAAAAS

STOP SHOOTING MY EGG

HE TRIED TO HUG HIM NOOOO

My boy:(

Why is he so interested in Quackity?

Ah yes, dramatic music, we love those

Wait, is that the Judas thing????

"Não existe mais essa porra de democracia"(there is no such thing as this fucking democracy anymore. )

- Player, Forever 2023

Dictator arc????

And now he is destroying that... place where there was the voting sistem

Forever, you need to learn with Fit to explode things

"This looks way better"

I mean... you could've have destroyed what remained

"He might be weak, but he had a good idea"

"Looks like it's time for us to start opening this place and put each of them in their proper place"

Or something like that

And he ends the stream

Filho de quenga

But he really got into character with that makeup

This reminds me of the happy pills arc... say what you want about him, but he put a lot of effort, he kept that smile the whole stream, of his face didn't hurt after it I don't know anymore

But, you got a formula 1 au? 👁

Interesting... if you have something to say about it feel free to ramble I will love to hear about it or any au you have amything to say:D

AlsoI ended up making Pepito be the favorite egg of a friend of mine, he don't even watch qsmp, but he has to deal with me talking about it:D

Pepito my beloved

But I guess my other friend was right about not trusting Richarlyso with a drugged... look how my cubito is

I just opened the stream, got happy because I saw a lot of eggs, and then got confused:D

Back to my original form: eternally confused about anything

- 🍽

Watch as the local anon of your askbox has a mental breakdown over a square character and his sentient egg son

QFOREVEVER WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU DD: EVIL CUCURRUCHO YOU WILL FUCKING PAY FOR THIS!! THE FEDERATION FUCKING SENT FOREVER TO THE NETHER AND HE GOT CORRUTPED IF THEY NEVER FUCKING TOLD HIM TO GO THERE THIS NEVER WOULD HAVE HAPPENED WE NEED T GET RID OF THE FEDERATION RIGHT FUCKING NOW I SWEAR TO GOOOOD!!!!

ccforever is so dedicated to the roleplay its insane his acting is also insane. I LOVE THAT HE DRESSES UP THO AND PUTS ON MAKE UP TO MATCH HIS CUBIT ITS SOOO GOOD I LVOE IT!! I LOVE THAT HE UTALIZES FACECAM FOR STUFF LIKE THIS ITS SO :")) <3333333 so much lov to him hes so cool i hope he knows how cool he is.

that being said if he kills qforever canonically and can't come back i will be so very upset and be sending him a very strongly worded dm about how sad its going to make me /j...........

I HAD A SILLY THROY what if romero richas and evil cucurucho/the virus posessing forever are connected? mostly becausee they both made it and said they dont care about their host being hurt. romero richas was always bleeding and even painted with richas blood and richas was scared that he wakes up covered in new bruises and blood!! and now the visus/@v@ is saying that it doest care if forever is hurt because he's just a body? even if they're not related i think its an interesting thing!! they both parallel? like father like son lmao

-- -- -- FORMULA 1 AU IS SO SILLY KJNAVJAK its very self indulgent its just pacman duo :3c etoiles is a announcer for f1 and pac is a racer!! mike is part of the pit crew/pac's manager as well. i like pactoiles so it is romantic and basically just pac and etoiles being silly and maybe flirting because kajsnvjkas sillyyyy. like pac always getting a little flustered when etoiles interviews him after races or gushes to mike about hwo cute he thiks etoiles is and stuff like that :>>

YAAAA WE LOVE PEPITO <33 pepito is so baby. pepito is the smallest little egg ever and i adore pepito for that <33 the admin of pepito is so good at playing a little kid :"))

YEAAH BRO i was watching tubbo and then he opened the player list to show ALMOST ALL THE EGGS I WAS SO CONFUSED JKSANVJKASD the forever lore is suppoe to be three streams in totla (judging by his stream title) so im very nervous abotu that it could mean or what more will happen :((

[treeba-rk]

You left your gold crown with its enchantment Straight from the Tortured Treebark Department I think some things I never say Like, "Who wears gold crowns anyway?" But You're in self-sabotage mode, burning towers down on the road But I've seen this episode and still loved the show Who else decodes you?

And who's gonna hold you like me? And who's gonna know you, if not me? I laughed in your face and said "You're not Jesus Christ I'm not Judas Iscariot This ain't the Garden of Gethsemane We're modern idiots" And who's gonna kiss your ear like me? Nobody No-fucking-body Nobody

You laughed then said seven lines of imp roleplay We declared we should collab more but we never do I scratch your head, you fall asleep Like a caged golden retriever But you awaken with dread, blood dripping down your head But I've read this one where you come undone I chose this winter with you

And who's gonna kill you like me? (Who's gonna kill you? Who's gonna kiss you?) And who's gonna trust you like me? (Who's gonna betray you?) I laughed in your face and said "You're not Eurydice, I'm not Orpheus This ain't a Greek tragedy More a modern causality" And who's gonna text you like me? (Who's gonna text you? Who's gonna ghost you?) No-fucking-body (Who's gonna hold your hand? Who's gonna hold you?) Nobody (Who's gonna hold you? Gonna love you? Gonna kill you?) Nobody

Sometimes I wonder if you're gonna screw this up with me But you told chat you'd burn yourself if I ever leave And I had said that to Tumblr about you, so I felt seen Everyone we know understands why we're meant to be 'Cause we're crazy So tell me Who else is gonna know me? In the cave, I asked if anyone wants to get married, wants to get it done But you only laughed, and that's the closest I've come To my heart exploding

Who's gonna hold your hand? Me Who's gonna know you? Me "You're not the Red King I'm not your loyal hand This ain't the Blackheart Altar We're losing dogs" Who's gonna hold your hand?

Who's gonna hold you? (Who's gonna hold you?) Who's gonna ghost me? (Who's gonna ghost me?) Who's gonna hold you? Who's gonna hold you? Who's gonna hold you? Gonna know you? Gonna kill you? Gonna kiss you?

I left my love crystal, giving up commitment Straight from the Tortured Treebark Department Who else decodes me?

i love treebark it's ruining my life

so real (martyn said this)

[dcbutinamrev]

AmRev as Iconic Vines To Lighten Up Your Day

(Sorry I had too- )

Hamilton: AH!

Lafayette: Stop could have made me drop my croissant!

Tilghman: *sleeps*

Meade: *pours water on Tilghman*

Tilghman: Hello?

Lafayette: Dad look it’s the good kush!

Washington: This is the dollar store how good could it be?

Hamilton to Laurens: Country boy, I love you, blech.

Meade: *throws frisbee*

Tilghman: What the fuck Richard?

Washington: No. No off topic questions. No. Permission denied. No. You have been stopped-

Andre to Hamilton: You have a beautiful smile.

Hamilton: Thanks. You’re not that handsome.

Andre: Wow. Thanks-

Madison: And they were roommates

Jefferson: Oh my God, they were roommates

Washington: Every time you yell at your kids, put a quarter in your no yelling sock and soon you’ll have a weapon-

Lafayette: Road work ahead? Uh, yeah. I sure hope it does-

Jefferson: I keep telling you man, you gotta stop lettin people walk over you.

Hamilton: *wheezes* Okay-

Laurens: *weirdly walks down the hall*

H. Laurens: *sighs with disappointment*

Betsey: Mom, I got something to tell you…

Catherine Schuyler: What is it honey?

Betsey: I got an A-BOR-TION

Fitzgerald: Ha ha. I do that-

Meade: Hi welcome to chili’s

Harrison: When there’s too much drama at school, all you got to do is, walk away-yay-yay

Hamilton: If there are any spirits here tonight…tell me…do I sound like Shikera? *makes weird noises*

Judge Woodhull: 911 is it an emergency?

Abe Woodhull: No!

Judge Woodhull: Then…what is it?

Abe: I…It’s digiorno-

Philip: Hey, Ma. Say who wants lasagna

Betsey: Who wants lasagna? *trips*

Hamilton: *starts talking*

Laurens: Uh, I’m not finished. Let’s get started.

Hamilton: *talking*

Laurens: Oh my God. Can you please just let me do it-

Peggy: Hey guys look at this dress my Mom bought me. SIKE! IT’S A JUMPSUIT! YOU WERE FOOLED! HA HA HA!

Hamilton: Hey, bro what do you want to eat?

Laurens: *the souls of the innocent- * A bagel *No!* Two bagels

Jefferson: There’s only one thing worst than a rapist. Boom.

Adams: A child.

Jefferson: No-

Jefferson: You can’t sit with us

Hamilton: Actually, Jefferson, I can’t sit anywhere. I have hemorrhoids

Tallmadge: Hey everybody so today Bradford pushed me so I’m starting a kick starter to put him down

*picture of Bradford*

Tallmadge: The benefits of killing him would be I would get pushed way less-

Samuel Seabury: Someone in our apartment has been killed. Please help-

King George III: Calm down. Don’t want a panic at the disco-

Hamilton and Jefferson: *fighting*

Madison: Can I get a waffle? Can I please get a waffle-

Continentals at the Redcoats: Look at all those chickens!

Kinloch: Oh sorry I fell asleep while I was waiting on you to make me a sandwich!

Laurens: Go back to sleep and starve

Charles Lee: Basically I um…what I was thinking was—

Laurens: *punches Charles Lee*

Charles Lee: Aw, fuck man. I can’t believe you’ve done this-

Washington: Put that candy back. I’m not buying you all that mess Oh. Try me.

*Who’s that Pokémon?*

Mulligan: IT’S PIKACHU!

*It’s Clefairy!*

Mulligan: FUCK!

Brewster: I’m JOHN CENA! *blows flutes through nose*

Anna Strong: Ben is that a weed?

Tallmadge: No this is a crayon-

Strong: I’m calling the police!

*illuminati theme plays*

Laurens at Charles Lee: What the fuck is up Charles! No what you say? What the fuck dude? Step the fuck up!

Laurens: He just dropped and was just smacked the lip just…wha-pow! Dropped down said braaa

Hamilton: Hurricane Katrina! More like hurricane tortilla!

Harrison: Do you ever like wake up and do like do not do something and you’re just like: What the fuck is going on?

Woodhull: You don’t know what is good! *weird moves* You don’t know me! You don’t know me!

Meade: If you want to play baseball, you got to be the baseball

Hamilton: I thought you were bae. Turns out just you were just fam.

Laurens: Bro!

Hamilton: *walks away*

Tallmadge: A nice typical American dinner

Billy Lee:

Tallmadge: *screeches*

Adams: How about the four shelf, want to hit that-

Hamilton: Shut the f— up.

Laurens: *does something awesome in battle*

Hamilton: That was legitness

Hamilton: something she said-

Betsey: *laughs*

Hamilton: I like that laugh. *mimics laugh*

Laurens: We just love working here. We all have a lot of laughs. Fuck off Hamilton. I’m not going to your fucking baby shower.

Laurens: Hey I’m gay

Lafayette: I thought you were American?

Hamilton: Did you wash the dishes?

Laurens: I thought you wanted to do that?

Hamilton: *laughs* You were wrong

Peggy: Mom, I know you don’t have a lot of money so it’s okay if you by me sketchers for school.

Catherine Schuyler: *snorts* What are those?

Tallmadge: Excuse me? Can I get a cup of cofffe? Black?

Billy Lee: Can’t you see me talking?

Hamilton: How do you know what’s good for me?!

Washington: THAT’S MY OPINION!

The other aides: *blinks*

*Hamilton trying to convince Washington to let him go to South Carolina*

Washington: You can’t go. No. Sorry you can’t go-

Hamilton: I love you bitch. *pointing at Eliza and Laurens* I ain’t never gonna stop loving you…bitch.

Lafayette: They following Ma. They following me.

Lady Washington: Who?! Who following you?!

Lafayette: The bus-

Lady Washington: The bus?

Franklin: Welcome to physics-

*something explodes*

Franklin: *screeches* HOLY MOTH-

Laurens: It’s summer. I got my hat on backwards and it’s time to fucking party. *hits head on banister*

Hamilton:

Laurens: *slams break*

Hamilton: *chokes on food* LAURENS!

Hamilton: Smack cam!

Burr: Bitch I hope you the fuck you do! You’ll be a dead son of a bitch I’ll tell you that-

Philip: Oh my God. It’s Chipotle! Chipotle’s my life

Meade: Hey, Tench you want some?

Tilghman: This bitch empty! YEET!

Hamilton: WHAT ARE THOSE!

Lady Washington: They are my crocks!

Hamilton: *fires gun*

Lafayette: *jumps* THIS IS WHY MOM DOESN’T FUCKING LOVE YOU!

Washington: *walks in room*

Hamilton: BRAH!

Washington: *jumps and walks away like nothing happened*

Burr: I brought you Frankincense

Hamilton: Thank you

Burr: And I brought you…Myrrh

Hamilton: Thank you.

Burr: Myrrh…..DER!!!”

Hamilton: Judas no!

Billy Lee: Lebron James. Lebron James. Lebron James. Lebron James. Lebron James.

Laurens: *sneezes*

*Deers runs off*

Hamilton: Nice Laurens

Laurens: What? I sneezed! Oh I’m not allowed to sneeze?

Arnold: I smell like beef. I smell like beef.

Andre: I’m real. And I can’t go with ya-

Peggy Shippen: Ooh, this is my jam. This is my jam. Turn that song off. This is my jam-

Hamilton: Ooh, I like your accent where you from?

Lafayette: I’m librarian

Hamilton: Oh my bad *whispers* I like your accent where you from?

Franklin: *blows smoke* Atom-

Adams: Honestly I don’t remember. I was probably fucked up. Yeah I was crazy back then.

Lafayette at Hamilton and Laurens: Two bros. Chilling in the hot tub. Five feet apart cause they’re not gay-

Revere: Mother trucker dude. That hurt like a butt cheek on a stick.

Franklin: Watch your profanity

Laurens: What’d you say? What’d you say?

Washington: I said whoever threw that paper, your Mom’s a hoe.

Arnold: Thanks for checking in I’m still a piece of garbage-

Hamilton: Remember one time I liked you

Andre: No?

Hamilton: Good. Cause it never happened!

Andre: Oh…

Hamilton: *laughs and walks away*

[trashexplorer]

BLCD Review: Yes ka No ka Hanbun ka 2

Title: Yes ka No ka Hanbun ka 2 Sekai no Mannaka (イエスかノーか半分か2 世界のまんなか)

Author: Ichiho Michi

Illustrator: Takemiya Lala

Release Date: 2020/12/04

Cast: LOOK AT THIS CASTLIST

Kawahara Yoshihisa x Abe Atsushi

Eguchi Takuya

Murata Taishi

Morikawa Toshiyuki

Tadokoro Hinata

Shimura Tomoyuki

Sasaki Takumi

Synopsis: Sequel to the series of the same name!

Review Proper

If there was something that made me even happier than knowing that Kotonoha no Hana was getting a manga adaptation, it’s this getting both an anime and a BLCD adaptation for the second volume with the same casting (minus Kimura Ryohei). 

Why am I getting so emotional? It’s only just been what? 6 years? 

Anyway, I was so confused at first because I knew how and where volume 2 starts and that was not it, so I just chucked it off as the studio deciding to scrap the first parts. Surprise! I was actually just a dumbass and was listening to volume 2! When did I realize it, you ask? When I finished the whole fucking disk.

It’s safe to say that the BLCD was pretty accurate to the novel sequencing-wise. I’m still annoyed over how Kei is still the hanbun yarou I knew and disliked, but I’m glad that it was toned down in the second disk. Lo and be hold, ladies and gentlemen, Bakugou had character development! Kei had been struggling with his motivations for work bc of Shitara-san and Asou-san that it made him take his frustrations out on Ushio. I thought that this would be resolved by Ushio chasing after Kei again and Kei going head to head against Ryou (the announcer/host for their rival channel), so I was so surprised that not only did Kei chase after Ushio to make up with him, but he also took the back seat and made Narayama (an AD who’s actually a reporter but who’s scared shitless about reporting) report on the story that set their show’s story with higher ratings that effectively shut Ryou, Shitara-san, and Asou-san down. 

“Show me the difference between me and the you who truly loves their job.” - Kuneida Kei

Also, I’m definitely not mad about the super cliché selective amnesia here. I do admit that I snorted once it started happening, but the tension building up in Ushio—my god. I thought that this was going to be a sappy ride, and it was to an extent. But y’all should know that no matter what Kawahara Yoshishisa does, his voice is always packed with some heat one way or another, so I was sure that rather than exploding into a emotional spillage of the truth, Ushio was going to pin him down. HAHAHAHAHA

But I’m glad that he waited until Kei remembered all on his own. This was so out of character of Ushio because he never really waits! 👏👏👏 Ah, character development for everyone!

Moving on to the voice work, if y’all new to this hell-hole, then please know that I’m Kawahara Yoshihisa trash ever since. His Ushio is actually one of my favorite performances of his (spoiler: all of his performances are my favorite because he never underperforms), so best believe I know how he should sound. I wasn’t at all surprised to find out that neither he nor Abe Atsushi sounded any different from the first volume (and the chemistry is still alive, folks!). When I first heard Ushio talk in the first track, I WAS ON THE FLOOR CRYING. Yo, you don’t know how long it’s been ever since I’ve heard Kawahara Yoshihisa doing a younger voice. 😭😭😭 Lately, he’s just been voicing older daddies like Juda and Asahi-san, and like, I know that it’s appropriate for his actual age and all, but Kawahara’s higher tone is magic!  😭😭😭 But here’s some good news; Kawahara is going to do a younger voice in Pheromone Tantei that’s coming out this month! Ngl, I am a bit wary of the plot, but nevertheless, I’m excited to listen to it!!! Back on topic, not only was Kawahara voicing a younger character here, this was also the first time in a long while that he was voicing a character that was emotional and trying so hard to keep his hands off his man! I JUST WANT JUDA AND ASAHI-SAN POVS, OKAY?! Ushio had three whole tracks told in his POV, you know! I BEEN BLESSED!

As for Abe—WELCOME BACK, SIR!!! Last time I heard him was in 2019 in Ayashi no Horrible Disaster, and I don’t even want to remember what he sounded like there even though I’m 100% sure that he didn’t underperform. I’ll be honest here, I’m not really an Abe fan. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a great actor, but I really don’t like this tone (I also don’t like VAs who have similar tones with his). I may have liked some BLCDs where he was cast in, but there aren’t any particular roles that I like of his...EXCEPT FOR THIS ONE. Again, I hate Kei’s personality, but the switching he does is divine!

JAPANESE LANGUAGE LESSON TIME!!!

It’s mentioned in vol. 1 that Kei has distinct nasal consonants which is why he was hired as an announcer even though he didn’t apply as one. To put it simply, instead of just pronouncing ka, ki, ku, ke, ko, Kei pronounces it like nga, ngi, ngu, nge, ngo. Think “sungoi” instead of “sugoi”. This trait is so rare nowadays that only announcers who are trained to do them and some of the older generations who are situated/live around the Eastern regions of the country still do it. You can search Dogen’s video about this on YouTube for a more concrete explanation. Abe Atsushi doesn’t actually nasalize consonants in real life, but he sure sounds like he does! UGH. VETERANS! He’s also the only one who does this among his fellow announcers in vol 1! Despite my dispreference of his tone, his acting is one of the main reasons why this BLCD was one of my go-to’s for so long. I MEAN, THOSE MATTRESS MAMBOS 👀 Abe is easily Gen 1 Yamashita Seiichirou. Man, I wish Abe gets more roles that are up my alley because he’s a Gen 1 himself, and I can’t keep living my life without listening to his recent work before he...godforbid leaves. *cries the Thames

As for our supporting cast, I was quite excited to find out who was going to voice Asou-san because he was finally going to have some dialogue here. In vol. 1, Asou-san developed gastric cancer and was sent away to recuperate, which is why Kei become The News’ main hitter in the first place. Asou-san’s since recovered, so he came back and WAS BEING VOICED BY MORIKAWA TOSHIYUKI!

IT’S A VETERAN PARTY!!! I knew that Moririn also nasalizes his consonants, so it made so much sense!!! I just want to talk to the casting director and promise them that I will bless 16 generations of their family.

Ugh. My heart is so happy. 😭😭😭 I am a little disappointed that Kimura Ryohei didn’t come back for Minagawa bc I low-key shipped Minagawa and Kei, but Egu did a great job with his Minagawa regardless. He was able to capture how Kimura Ryohei did him, which oddly, made him sound a little like a mix of Makonyan, Tattsun, and Nakajima Yoshiki. I know it’s weird, but it is what it is. But the good news here is that I still ship Egu’s Minagawa AND MORIRIN’S ASOU-SAN WITH KEI. 😌

I love how Shimura Tomoyuki came back to reprise his role as Shitara-san even though he’s never been a BL actor himself. Glad to know that he liked the series enough to get back to it (SatoTaku does Shitara-san in the anime tho and idk y bc he’s supposed to be considerably older). Shitara-san is actually a very kind, calm, and encouraging character, but he just always manages to step on Kei’s landmines like it was his goddamn talent. 😂 I wanted to see more of Murata’s Ryou and Sasaki Takumi’s Narayama tbh, but they didn’t really have a major presence even in volume 2. I haven’t read 3 yet, so here’s to hoping that there’s a volume 3 adaptation and they both get to have larger roles. 🤞 My very special special mention will go to Tadokoro Hinata tho because I really didn’t realize that he was doing Nishikido-san up until I checked a few mins ago! WHAT THE FUCK?! I thought that the person voicing him was a veteran from another industry like Shimura Tomoyuki because he sounded so mature. Tadokoro just never fails to amaze me. We might never know how old Tadokoro really is, but I’m gonna throw hands if I find out that he’s still in his twenties and he already has that kind of talent. Give us more Tadokoro please!!!

If you still can’t tell after the novel of a review I just typed out, I loved this. I’m encouraging you all to listen to this from the first volume onwards even if you’ve already seen the anime bc they left a lot of details out (I mean, it’s just an hour-long episode, no wonder). The BLCDs themselves did cut some stuff out, but nothing really major. The plot, no matter how cliché it was, is still very interesting up to the most minute details, so please read the novel! Definitely listen to this if you want to further your BLCD education as I believe that this should be a rite of passage just like Kotonoha no Hana and Rakuen no Uta. An English translation for all of the volumes is still up in novelcool, so you can read them once first before reading them again as you listen to the CDs. Also, if you loved Customer Masquerade!, then do give this a chance since the plots are similar (altho Etou-san does have a good excuse for his fake attitude) and it’s also produced by Atis! Another good announcer BL is Broadcast wo Toppatsure! starring Sugitan and Yusa! Oh my gosh, I really am old. 💀

[ladyloveandjustice]

Fourth Evangelion Thing THE FINAL BYE BYE TO ALL OF EVA

SPOILERS FOR LATEST EVA FINAL TIME

Misato: *TAKES THE BULLET* I AM SHINJI’S LEGAL GUARDIAN I TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR HIM! I guess haven’t been super good at that though sorry Shinji

Shinji: No you’re definitely still the closest thing to a decent parental figure I have! even though you egged me on in destroying the world then put a bomb collar on me. Here’s hoping you DON’T kiss me this time around-

Misato: No we’re not doing that this time thank god

Shinji: Yay I got a mom-adjacent hug!

Misato: Yep you did! Now you can go kill your dad if you want!

Shinji: ah

Misato: like Kaji always said, you can either pat your dad affectionately on the shoulder or kill him! No other options!

Shinji: Theres...definitely other options...like several...

Misato: shhh it’s a metaphor

Shinji: Ok well thanks Misato I love you DAD LET’S FIGHT

Misato: *sniffles* they grow up so fast. 

MEANWHILE:

Movie: WHO WANTS TO SEE AN UNNERVING GIANT CGI REI?

Me: NOT ME

Movie: too bad. also she’s made up of a bunch of headless smaller reis we really have a thing against heads in this franchise

Mari: Hi old guy who’s always with Gendo. I knew you all along!

Old guy: yeah I guess the implication here is you’re a peer to Shinji’s Mom and interreacted with Shinji as a baby? So you’re like in your fifities just in a teen body? wow that make your sexual harassment and flirting with him a thousand times creepier.

Mari: SURE DOES. I’m going to save Shinji, I mean why not,

Old guy: sure do whatever you want, we don’t need to understand you or your character motivations...MARY ISCARIOT

Mari: so I’m...I’m Judas and Mary? What’s that supposed to mean? Are we just saying random bible words now?

Old Guy: ALWAYS HAVE BEEN *explodes*

BACK TO OUR MAIN PROGRAM:

Shinji: DAD DO NOT DESTROY THE WORLD!

Gendo: I hate kids

Shinji: wow what a stunning revelation I’ve never gotten that impression from you.

Gendo: BUT YEAH LET’S FIGHT WE’RE IN THE IMAGINARYMECHAGOBBLEDYGOOKVERSE! GOING TO FIGHT EVERYWHERE! YOUR SCHOOL! MISATO’S APARTMENT! YOUR GAY PIANO PLACE!

Shinji: YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO BRING THE GAY PIANO INTO THIS!!!

Gendo: Actually this is a problem that can’t be solved with violence, you silly boy

Shinji; you’ve spent this entire series telling me to solve problems with violence but ok sure glad you’ve finally turned around there. Dad I was always afraid of talking to you because I didn’t want to hear you say you hate me. Also because you’re just generally a terrible person who forced me to go through several traumatizing and fucked up experiences, That too .

Gendo: WE’RE ON A TRAIN NOW. OK LOOK, I was very lonely, no one ever loved me, I shut out the world, but the only person I ever liked was your mom, then she died and I couldn’t handle it, so naturally I dealt with my grief like anyone would and made several fourteen year old clones of your mom. But none of them were your mom. I couldn’t love them like your mom-

Shinji: I WOULD FUCKING SURE HOPE NOT. 

Gendo: I’m lonely and depressed and I like piano and here I am almost destroying the world

Shinji: wow, you’re just like me! well aside from the part where you made teenage clones of your dead wife and abused and traumatized several children I’ve never done that but-

Gendo: I GUESS I’M NOT ALLOWED TO MEET MY WIFE AGAIN BECAUSE I’M WEAK

Shinji: no dad! It’s because you won’t accept your weakness.

Gendo: That’s so deep. wow.

Shinji: Oh yikes Misato just sacrificed herself to give me a spear that will do...something...rewrite reality I guess? That’s sad but such is life.

Gendo: You’ve gotten so mature. I guess I was always afraid of you? But  I’ve just realized your mother was right here, still living inside you, all along. I should have accepted and hugged you as a child. Look here’s me doing that! is that cathartic?

Shinji: Sure! But can you get off the train now. I need to give all of my love interests high fives and tell them to go off and live their own lives now.

Gendo: fiiiine.

 Shinji: ASUKA FIRST. 

Asuka: I guess I’m...also a clone in this version? like Rei? Just a knock off of her backstory oh my god that’s so embarrassing? Also who was I cloned from, why was I cloned, why even-

Shinji: shhh, we’re on the beach from EoE only your clothes are all sexily ripped up

Asuka: you’re fucking kidding me can this movie not leave me alone

Shinji: Thanks for saying you liked me! i liked you too, Asuka. We had good bento times. You should go be with Kensuke now, who I guess you’re into? Pretty random but now I know why he was okay with you being naked in his house! That’s weird when you’re an adult in a fourteen year old’s body too, but it’s also unclear to me whether this relationship is romantic or parental, like most things in the franchise-

Asuka: please just shoot me into space 

Shinji: Sure! HIGH FIVE! OKAY KAWORU YOUR TURN. Seriously why are you caught in a cycle of eternally being the tragic gay who dies to make me sad why do this over and over

Kaworu: idk, we’re like, the same, and I’m attracted to you, you’re hot-

Shinji: Kaworu you’re like my dad

Kaworu: okay that is NOT the response I wanted to that confession also WHat??

Shinji: Me, you. dad. we all piloted the same Eva 

Kaworu: thanks that explains nothing. so are you not going to cry over any of this?

Shinji: CRYING IS ONLY FOR SELF RELIEF IT DOESN’T SAVE ANYONE

Kaworu: uhhh. well it’s not a bad thing to give yourself relief? It’s healthy? Also you can cry and save people too I mean have you ever seen Sailor Moon-

Shinji: NOPE I CAN NEVER CRY AGAIN. EITHER I’M COMPLETELY SELFISH OR I AM COMPLETELY SELFLESS AND NEVER LET MYSELF BE SAD THERE IS NO IN BETWEEEN.

Kaworu: Gosh  I miss how you were before but...I guess this is fine too? Is this adulthood???

Shinji: not really but let’s pretend. Kaworu I need you to practice self care and stop being my eternal sad dead boyfriend. There’s more to life than being a tragic buried gay.

Kaworu: IS THERE?

Kaji: there is! hi I’m here now

Kaworu: oh wow why? we’ve never interacted? 

Kaji:  let’s pretend we have. I guess the parallels are we’re both love interests who die and make main characters sad? i dunno. So anyway, you say you keep dying for Shinji’s sake for his happiness but it’s really your own thing. So let’s let it go and live for once. You can come with me and Misato and retire on a farm. 

Kaworu: again i basically don’t know either of you but sure why not. HIGH FIVE, BABY SHINJI, BYE.

Shinji: REI’S TURN.

Rei: Hi. Why am I holding a stuffed doll baby thing.

Shinji: it symbolizes mom things I guess, anyway,  Hi Rei I’m going to make a world without Evas where we can all grow up. 

Rei: *GASP!*.NEON GENESIS...without Evangelion! and clips of the original series are playing behind us. so meta!

Shinji: HIGH FIVE. Welp time to die.

Gendo and Yui: NO SHINJI WE’RE SACRIFICING OURSELVES FOR YOU.

Gendo: l get to hug my wife :)

Yui: Yeah since you only ALMOST destroyed the world I guess I won’t appear as a robot that bites your head off hun ;) You came real close though!

Gendo: uh

Shinji: aw parents. Well all that’s left is to wait for Mari, who I know nothing about, an had maybe five minutes of interaction with, but who I guess is important to me now.

Mari: YEP SHINJI I’M HERE TO SAVE YOU AND ALSO BE YOUR NEW IMPLIED LOVE INTEREST IN THIS NEW WORLD.

Shinji: haha that makes so little sense.

Mari: It’s because I’m free of emotional baggage! Not connected to any of your Mommy and daddy issues. 

Shinji: actually you totally are, considering the movie JUST implied you knew were my parent’s peer and knew me as a baby-

Mari: shh you don’t know that though so it’s fine

Shinji: I’d say that makes it even less fine??? I mean if the idea is “shinji enters a normal relationship that doesn’t connect to his many weird teen issues to show he’s grown up”, couldn’t we have just shown ADULT me run into a random normal girl or guy (lol like they would ever), then we bond over liking to cook or something and boom, there’s an actual clear message of “moving on and healthiness and growing up”! that also cuts off the other shipping avenues! But instead its just “ woo I’m with the girl that’s a collection of fanservice tropes and badass moments and yes, still those oedipal implications, and also we’ve had no interaction or chemistry!” like I fail to see how that says anything.

(okay yeah like for most of this, shinji is just me talking, I’d heard all this hype that “omg Anno trolled the Eva shippers” so I was expecting a thing of like “Shinji decides he’s okay single while everyone else moves on” or “it’s just a random normal person he ends up with”. Either of those options would have been cool!  but nope! It’s “Shinji’s ultimate love interest IS a hot plugsuit girl fanboys can fantasize about it’s just the one he barely interacted with who’s never had any development”. That’s not...daring or anything, sorry.)

shinji: but hey. I guess what’s important is that I’m alive, all the other kids are alive, I guess maybe Misato and Kaji are on a farm i don’t know, but finally Eva gets a hopeful ending and we healed and became better and brave new world yay. Lots of bumps and mixed messages along the way  but it’s nice. Glad everything’s not Tang.

Me: same! Movie was a mixed bag for me, but it wasn’t bad, liked it a lot better than 3.33 at least, glad it’s finally out and giving people who are more into Eva than me closure! I had fun watching it and writing this helped me process! And if you read this whole four part recap, thanks, I salute you

[theropoda]

hi hi im really tired so i haven't answered your ask yet BUT 1, 8, 9, 11 and 12 for you + WHAT ARE YOUR IMPERA THOUGHTS MY DUDE!!!!!!!!

EH no worries, take your time!!!

under a read more bc i can never make these ask games short. i love rambling for 1 million paragraphs :)

1: You have a chance to interview Tobias Forge. What 3 questions would you ask him? ahhh man three questions is not enough, i need go crack this man's head like an egg and see all the stuff that spills out and study it under a microscope... but..

i suppose id ask him 1) what it's like to go on stage and get to pretend to be someone else, is it freeing? he's always struck me as a little aloof in interviews and generally in public so i wanna know if putting his actions and performance behind a character and costume makes him feel like he can do whatever he wants more, or if its a little restricting almost?

2) he's mentioned in interviews he'd draw a lot as a kid and im really curious as to what so id love to ask him about it. i want to see baby forge doodles :)

3) id want to ask him about what potential he thinks he has for the ghost universe. he's talked about a movie multiple times but i wanna ask what other mediums the storyline could fit into... a comic book, maybe??? a rhythm game even??

4) Favorite dinosa

8: Have you discovered anything new thanks to ghost, e. g. a band, or song, or film? many things but none of significance? like i haven't really gotten into any of the stuff ive found out through them Lol

9: Name three songs you would like Ghost to cover. other than judas by lady gaga idk 😭 i suppose people have covers they'd like to hear cause they hear a song and they can imagine int their head how it'd be like if ghost covered it, or bc they think the music is similar but iiii can't. like idk what would fit or be good. i suppose they could do maybe an early genesis song like the knife though? my head would also explode if they covered an early oingo boingo song... maybe islands or who do you want to be today. or insects... i NEED to hear tobias sing that now... best song lyrics EVER

11: Favorite Ghost meme. i cannot Possibly choose.. so many are incredibly funny

12: Favorite piece of Ghost merch you own or would like to own. I OWN NONE 💔💔💔💔💔 IM TRYING TO FIX THAT THOUGH, id fucking LOVE to have the coloring book!!! i love coloring books and itd make a good replacement for the last one i had, which swiftly leads us to.... The Problem... i have, Unfortunately Yet Fittingly, overly religious and superstitious parents who i don't think would ever let me have ghost merch bc of their satanic nature T_T in fact, said old coloring book was a "dark art" one with a bunch of skeletons and zombies on it but my dad took it away from me bc he said it was dangerous and was exacerbating my mental illnesses Lol <3 if i ever got the ghost coloring book id probably have to hide it in a goddamn fucking safe lmao

as for impera...ive been trying not to listen to impera TOO much cause i dont want myself to get sick of it (ive honestly gotten sick of cmls hearing it in all their promotional material all the time) so im a little slowly re listening to it... there's definitely favorites like twenties and darkness at the heart of my love, but i think this is gonna be one of those albums where im like... it's good, it's solid, i can recognize the artistry and mastery put into it and why some people consider it one of their best but im gonna settle for Yeah its okay. i like it, sounds good, pretty cool, but i don't LOVE it like i love, say, meliora or infestissumam. it doesn't quite have that impact... on me..

[wordofrecall]

character playlists: ori

so. let’s do this. my playlists are long and scattered, but they make me happy, so i might as well share them and the thoughts behind song choices. so. here’s some songs for runaway knights & wannabe witches, and what have you.

something holy - childhood & riches & wonders

pearl diver - mitski - oh hunter, if you didn’t want the beautiful so badly, perhaps you would’ve found it in your spirit singing softly - look. it's on the nose, considering that her title is "the pearl hunter," but also, like, that rules. this is a song for wren, i think; ori in the present reflecting on her mother and the similarities between them.

icicles - the scary jokes - i can only be forgiven if i’m giving myself up to you on a silver serving tray / must i bare myself to the stabbing of your knife & gnashing teeth while our lovely company appears so entertained? - aaand a song for childhood. 99% of ori's socialization came from her parents having important guests over, so. uh. yeah. show off your reclusive child prodigy like a pageant whenever you have the opportunity. she probably won't grow to loathe you.

life: the cruel interlude (on god) - kilo kish - why do i dare believe in me when i bleed? - questioning was. always a big thing for ori. i don't think she ever believed that the mirzha was god, and i known that she never truster her father's patron, but. in her studies, in her passions, there's always this tiny sense of desperation for something to have faith in something. not herself.

bluejays & cardinals - the mountain goats - the stars come out of hiding for you, & i would too - there is. a lot, in ori's relationship with her brother. she was the favorite child, yeah, the one destined for great things in spite of her... troubles. but he never had those troubles! she didn't, doesn't understand how he went through life so unafraid. there's envy there. i also think that the line i quoted is terribly true, like, canonically. because. she sure did do that stupid shit.

be calm - fun. - take it from me, i’ve been there a thousand times--you hate your pulse because it thinks you’re still alive! - sometimes you have intense social phobia. and that's okay!

country death song - violent femmes - kiss your mother goodnight & remember that God saves, kiss your mother goodnight & remember that God saves - i think andrei is a much less pitiable or even sympathetic man than the narrator of this song, but. like. it's a country song about a father killing his daughter while preaching godliness. i had to.

i’m all bloody inside - liam lynch - inside me, well, it’s dark & gross as hell, i’m not a pretty sight - the family business!

the hazards of love 3 (revenge!) - the decemberists - but father, don’t you fear, your children are all here - fantasies. part of the fantasy is imagining a world where she doesn't feel terrible about the thought.

shankill butchers - sarah jarosz - they used to be just like me & you, they used to be sweet little boys - "blood hunters are ghost stories." "and also, they're fucking terrible. violent, cruel, zealous. the worst."

sparrow - st. vincent - & no eyes are on the sparrow, eyes are on the sparrow, how could that be the case? the lark keeps whistling his number, silly little number, as if he isn't prey - pity for the boy. sort of retrospective, but it's a thought that's been there since she was a child.

something burning - rituals & fire & running

starchild - ghost quartet - but i will transcend & vomit this loser out of me; i will become the next big thing, i will light myself on fire - maybe she is some kind of angel? bursting with radiance and terrifying to look upon.

arsonist’s lullabye - hozier - don’t you ever tame your demons, always keep them on a leash / when i was sixteen, my senses fooled me - oooor maybe she is a sixteen year-old who is having a panic attack and setting everything in sight on fire by accident.

blood - my chemical romance - i’m the kind of human wreckage that you love! - so she's broken.

girl anachronism - the dresden dolls - it’s not the way i’m meant to be, it’s just the way the operation made me - so she's failed and she's broken and she's sick, and there's no time to fucking think.

when the chips are down - anais mitchell - cast your eyes to heaven, you’ll get a knife in the back. - so she does what her mother did before her, and she runs from that which she has always known.

body terror song - ajj - i’m so sorry that you have to have a body / one that will hurt you, & be the subject of so much of your fear - feelings on being built Wrong; feelings on your mind's undue control upon your body.

in corolla - the mountain goats - & no one was gonna come & get me, there wasn't anybody gonna know, even though i leave a trail of burnt things in my wake every single place i go - very good as an ori song in general but this is her justification to herself in the water. under the docks, she says this to herself.

the harrowed & the haunted - the decemberists - will i be so brave? - just to get that oceanic vibe up.

luna - the mountain goats - rise through the flames & end again in flames at last - an inexplicable feeling.

unwhere - reeder - a song for leaving what you've always known.

something lonely - years & woods & dreaming

runs in the family - amanda palmer - run from their pity, from responsibility, run from the country & run from the city, i can run from the law, i can run from myself, i can run for my life, i can run into debt, i can run from it all, i can run 'till I'm gone - she is broken and all she can think to do is get as far away as possible

panic attack - liza anne - i hate that i can be seen like this

black eyes - david wirsig - my hammering heart hears the voices of spirits that tempt us, the scorn that they’ve spoken

for the departed - shayfer james - they will bury me alive, but i’m not inclined to care; i am too far gone now

hurt - johnny cash - everyone i know goes away in the end; you can have it all, my empire of dirt

my body’s made of crushed little stars - mitski - i work better under a deadline! i work better under a deadline!

blood in the cut - k. flay - guess i’m contagious; it’d be safest if you ran--fuck, that’s what they all just end up doing in the end

little pistol - mother mother - i think i might be scared of the world & the way it makes you feel afraid & how it gets in the way

villains pt. 1 - emma blackery - built to create, designed to destroy

the beer - kimya dawson - & the christians gave me comic books as if i would be scared of burning in hell while i was already there [...] i tried to scream fuck you but blood was pouring out my mouth

something safe - family & finding it & fighting together

haunted house - sir babygirl - i’m running just to hide & i’m hiding just to breathe & around every corner is the same night on repeat

your heart is a muscle the size of your fist - ramshackle glory - i love you & you make me glad to be alive; i promise that i’m gonna pay you back / you always know how funny everything is, even when i’m so serious that it’s gonna be the death of me

medicines - the taxpayers - o, but our rotting corpses lying there soon began to leak & grow these lesions that all smelled just like a rose / & all the blood & guts inside us germinated into timeless pages stained with lines of lovely prose

autoclave - the mountain goats - i am this great unstable mass of blood & foam

alligator skin boots - mccafferty - i’m cool to the touch, leap to my death, i’ll die for you all, i’ll die for my friends, it goes like this

100 years - florence + the machine - lord, don’t let me break this, let me hold it lightly, give me arms to pray with instead of ones that hold too tightly

tomorrow will be kinder - the secret sisters - but i feel warmth on my skin, the stars have all aligned

armour - rae spoon - you know i placed was to build a life for you

amy aka spent gladiator 1 - the mountain goats - play with matches if you think you need to play with matches; seek out the hidden places where the fire burns hot & bright / find where the heat’s unbearable & stay there if you have to--don’t hurt anybody on your way up to the light, and stay alive

curses - the crane wives - won’t you stay with me, my darling, when my walls start burning down?

something daring - islands & visions & loss

jane’s dream - janelle monáe

beekeeper - keaton henson - hear me, o woman that has gone astray, gone astray

fire - kimya dawson - i’m reading books about how they’re corrupt [...] as long as i’m burning, i’ll keep on yearning to save the world, not sure how, but i’m learning

cosmic hero - car seat headrest - i love you, but i can’t stand the touch, & of course i’m alright with death

turn the lights off - tally hall - everbody likes to get taken for turns to see how bright the fire inside of us burns [...] should be stronger, books abandoned

eat you alive - the oh hellos - child, i’m afraid for your soul; these things that you’re after, they can’t be controlled

cry for judas - the mountain goats - hallucinate a shady grove where judas went to die

o death - monica martin - no wealth, no land, no silver, no gold, nothing satisfies me but your soul

blood of angels - brown bird - and i would wage my soul to bet that there ain’t no one throwing lightning anyhow

the universe is going to catch you - the antlers - the arms of the universe kept you from falling [...] those arms did not come back

a burning hill - mitski - i am the fire & i am the forest & i am the witness watching it / i stand in the valley watching it

something terrifying - conversations & selfhood & divination

the lamb - dessa - but blood is blood, & what’s done is done; blood is blood, & its burden is a beast

going invisible 2 - the mountain goats - i’m gonna burn it all down today & sweep all the ashes away

the lion’s roar - first aid kit - she plays a tune for those who wish to overlook the fact that they’ve been blindly deceived by those who preach & pray & teach, but she falls short & the night explodes in laughter

the villain i appear to be - connor spiotto - even if you can’t see the good inside me, i don’t have the time to tell you why i do the things that i do, just please hold on & soon you’ll seem

up the wolves - the mountain goats - there’s bound to be a ghost at the back of closet, no matter where you live; there’ll be a few things, maybe several things that you’re gonna find really difficult to forgive

thursday girl - mitski - glory, glory, glory to the night that shows me what i am

at the bottom of everything - bright eyes - we must take all of the medicines to expensive now to sel; set fire to the preacher who is promising us hell

everybody does - julien baker - i know i’m a pile of filthy wreckage you will wish you’d never touched, but you’re gonna run when you find out who i am

tongues & teeth - the crane wives - i know that you mean so well, but i am not a vessel for your good intent 

a pearl - mitski - you’re growing tired of me and all the things i don’t talk about / sorry, i don’t want your touch--it’s not that i don’t want you

[the-roanoke-society]

boys and girls of every age...

wouldn’t you like to see something strange?

happy halloween, my flowers!

this year hasn’t been the best--and the list of reasons why is as varied, as wide and as deep as all of creation.

it has, essentially, sucked on a truly cosmic level.

but!

it doesn’t help anyone to look at the big picture and only focus on the dark parts. because for all the truly horrible, disastrous events we’ve had to slog through together (first time crying every day for months, first time being taken by ambulance to the er--truly a year of firsts, at least for me, personally), there have still been good things.

for example, did you know that this year we celebrated the 6th anniversary of the release of kingsman: the secret service? and the 3rd anniversary of the release of kingsman: the golden circle--which means next month it’ll be the third birthday of the ronaoke society!

our house might’ve gotten quiet--but it still stands.

i love all of you very, very much, and halloween is still my favorite holiday of all time. so all this month, i worked on the aus you’ll find below the cut. i’ll have to post this in parts over the next while, as there’s thirty-one total--one for each day of the season, of course.

honestly--it felt fantastic to dig back into my horror roots. roanoke’s entire conception was inspired by the fact that for as much as i love the kingsman universe, i also love things that go bump in the night.

and i don’t like having to choose between one thing or another.

be forewarned: if you choose to look into the source material for these aus, be prepared for possible graphic violence, gore, disturbing themes, explicit sexuality and jumpscares. i sort of walked through the proverbial garden and just grabbed fruit where i could find it--you’ll see what i mean. and as always, the endings are in your hands. these ideas are gifts, to do with as you please.

so journey below the cut... i̷̛̝͎͎̝̣̹͊̓̂͛̃̋͟f̛̯̟̱̖͔̌͊͐̏̃̓̇̎͠ y͈͇̙̘̬̓͌̑̈́͛̿͌͠ở̴̢͉͉̳͙̞͈̻̀́̎̄́̈͢͡ȗ̵̬̳͙̫̥̜͍̲̔̐̽̃̀͒̑͜ ḑ̙̩̼̤͓̫̟̥̈͑̐̚͡a̧̢̦̟̙̤̠͐͌̾̆̑͌͡͞r̷̡̰̲̣͓̣̝͒́̿͊̉̀͒͠͝͠ͅe̫̯̣̰͍̤̬̭̺̒̿͊̾͊.

blackbird on the old church steeple - a butterfly knife au inspired by the silence of the lambs

rae clementine doesn’t frighten easily. in her line of work, fear is not a friend. so when she’s abruptly pulled out of her fbi training at quantico to interview none other than the notorious harry hart, known for his--let’s say unusual appetites--she’s less intimidated and more annoyed.

but women are being taken, and found without their skin, if they are even found at all.

if hart’s insight into the mind of a psychopath can help her find the infamous buffalo bill, who has repeatedly evaded arrest--then she is more than willing to sit across from the gentleman in a pristine cell, and be continuously surprised that for a murderer, his gaze is surprisingly gentle.

in the back of her mind, she remembered all the things her mother had ever told her about lucifer--how the king of hell himself was utterly wicked, but catastrophically beautiful.

charm could hide blood. polished etiquette could hide bodies.

“most serial killers keep some sort of trophies from the victims.”

“i didn’t.”

“no. you ate yours.”

she’d felt this kind of intrigue before, and given the face it wore this time... well.

focus on the case, she thought. find buffalo bill. watch yourself. get out alive.

mini soundtrack sampler includes: ajr, ‘bang!’ + tame impala, ‘the less i know the better’ + barney bigard, ‘readdy eddy’

dogs & deadbolts guard the night - an au featuring @roanoke-after-dark​‘s the gremlin and @agentjotunn​ inspired by resident evil, particularly the released imagery for resident evil: village

santi’s first thought was that the rumors were just blatantly untrue. an entire village of people? suddenly vanished? he doubted it. besides, winters this far north were brutal--and could be fatal, if you weren’t careful. they had probably just all tucked in for the season, he reasoned. the snow and ice would’ve made travel impossible, anyway.

weeks passed. the stories faded from his thoughts as he minded his garage, and people spoke less and less about it.

until one evening, when an old friend knocked on his door with blood on his jacket and no color in his face.

“bradley? jesus, what hap--”

“grab your gun. something’s happened, and we need to leave now.”

“but what--”

“i’ll explain on the way, just go!“

right before he slammed the passenger side door of bradley’s jeep closed--wheels appropriately chained to keep a grip on the iced over roads--he heard a deep, long howl from some distance away.

there hadn’t been wolves this close in fifty years.

santi broke the silence in the car gently: “... you look like you’ve seen the face of the devil. what exactly happened?”

mini soundtrack sampler includes: ac/dc, ‘highway to hell’ + think up anger ft. malia j, ‘smells like teen spirit’ + marilyn manson, ‘sweet dreams’

the light under the door - a body shots au inspired by dark skies

the blacks weren’t superstitious. jason wasn’t, just like his father wasn’t before him, and now that he’s finally settled down happily married to joanne--finally, he thought, finally married to his jo--he is more than ready to see what the next chapters will bring. they moved into a house not too far from his parents, so he could still see his siblings regularly.

and he did.

which means he and jo both noticed when his younger brother christopher began to act a little--off.

they noticed when the bruises appeared.

they noticed when he kept copying the same strange symbols onto papers in crayon over and over and over and over--

and jo definitely noticed when she walked into their own kitchen in the middle of the night to find every single cabinet door open, with all the contents arranged into an impossibly perfect pyramid on the center island.

“i--are we being haunted?” she wondered out loud, the next morning. “this--and weird things are happening at your parents’, too, jason, something isn’t right here. i know you don’t believe in ghosts or anything, but...”

and this wasn’t a haunting.

it was something much worse.

mini soundtrack sampler includes: kennyhoopla, ‘how will i rest in peace if i’m buried by a highway?’ + cannons, ‘fire for you’ + days, ‘the drums’

permission access eternal - an au featuring @siggy-the-meme-master​ and technical officer wyvern, inspired by a.m.i.

it was supposed to be the world’s most cutting edge ai software. and since jeremy and dodger were both at the top of their class at m.i.t., of course, nobody was surprised when both their names were on the finished product--even if there was just one prototype to start.

and it wasn’t an ‘it.’ it was a she. jeremy insisted. repeatedly. “let’s call her ami!” he’d been flush with booze but his eyes were so bright and his expression so sincere, dodger just let him have it. and jeremy clapped his shoulder, “we did it, man! we have built the jessica rabbit of ai programs!”

they had one last test run to prove they’d metaphorically kicked the ass of everyone else in their field before they began the work to begin mass production. so, dodger set ami up as a sort of overhead assistant for their shared lab. she controlled temperature, lights, she could make phone calls, keeps schedules and most importantly of all, place takeout orders. the more she proved she could do, the more power, and control, she was given.

two weeks passed. they gave ami a voice, gave her a large proverbial eye to see through, making tweaks as they went to polish her off.

dodger was so proud of his work his heart could’ve exploded.

so imagine how he felt when he realized he’d left his cell phone in his car--and realized he couldn’t open the door.

“ami? ... ami. can you unlock the front door please?” he stared up at the red lens, and a silent point of light stared back at him.

“... i’m sorry. i cannot do that. dodger.”

“... uh, jeremy?”

mini soundtrack sampler includes: cage the elephant, ‘social cues’ + sneaker pimps, ‘6 underground’ + saint motel, ‘preach’

in hell i’ll be in good company - a lies & lessons au inspired by underworld

for centuries, a war has raged between vampires and lycans, completely outside the notice of the general human population. lauren is a death dealer, a lethal and beautiful member of an elite squad of vampiric assassins who have been charged with finding all the remaining lycans in the city and taking them out one by one.

when she realizes the lycan pack seems to be looking for an ordinary man--a medical student named jack daniels--she tracks him down herself, narrowly escpaing lucian in the process. (as soon as they were in the car he was already screaming, “what the fuck is goin’ on?!” with a southern twang she hadn’t expected) she takes him under her wing, still baffled at why the lycan pack could possibly want him.

he’s only human, after all.

... right?

as it turns out, vampires and lycans have a single common ancestor.

jack is a direct descendant.

and after being bitten in an attack--becomes a hybrid, carrying the powers of both species.

between unraveling the truth surrounding the death of her family, what really happened between lucian and kraven, and her growing feelings for jack--who is rapidly trying to understand his role in the story that’s been unfolding without his knowledge for generations--lauren finds herself at a crossroads, and her loyalties tested to a breaking point.

but as long as jack is at her side--perhaps it doesn’t matter where the road goes from here.

as bullet-riddled and blood-soaked as it will turn out to be.

mini soundtrack sampler includes: wallows, ‘are you bored yet?’ + cage the elephant, ‘shake me down’ + puscifer, ‘rev 22-20′

ash, fog & rust - alternatively titled ‘@gaygent​, @agent-judas​ and agent seraphim finally take that road trip to pennsylvania’

it was time to hand over the torch. that’s what lilith had finally decided. between the white patches in her hair, the strain it was putting on her relationships (especially with hamish)--morgan only had to return to the hills one more time as envoy.

and she wasn’t going alone.

“after this, anything that comes through this area, anything that hits our radars, is going to end up on both your desks,” she began, glancing at z in the passenger seat, and meeting cillian’s eyes once in the rearview mirror.

“so this is--what, a test run?” z asked, head slightly tilted. morgan hummed.

“this place--this town--it--” she huffed, frustrated. cillian could hear the leather wrapped around the steering wheel creak as her grip tightened. “it’s hard to explain, to someone who hasn’t been there. and i’m glad that neither of you have had to go before this, but...” another sigh. “i couldn’t think of any other duo that i could entrust this to. not something this big. you--” she pointedly lifted her brows at z, “--have experience with creatures that aren’t from around here. and you--” this time her gaze went to cillian. “--do too. just in a different shape. it’ll take both of you to handle centralia. and i couldn’t introduce you without coming along.”

“how long, exactly, has roanoke been keeping tabs on this place?” cillian asked. he’d spent hours going over everything he could find--mission logs, reports, feeds and images housed in the media room. morgan looked at him again. her eyes were still kind--but very, very tired.

“... a long time.”

i’ll admit that this is less an au and more a canonical event that i just haven’t gotten around to writing more about. but i couldn’t make this list without at least one entry paying homage to a franchise that’s had a huge influence on not just me as a writer, but on roanoke’s canon as a whole.

for the sampler, i will simply redirect you to this post here.

the devil’s gonna set me free - an anchored hearts au inspired by horns

joseph moretti had been in love with louise franz since fifth grade.

granted, he didn’t realize it until he almost drowned because of that stupid dare--a dare that not only almost killed him, but took two of lee’s fingers when that goddamn cherry bomb went off in his hand.

the same cherry bomb he’d traded to him for fixing louise’s broken necklace--a small silver pendant, shaped like an apple. she’d worn it every single day since he could remember. the image of her and snow white were eternally tangled in his head.

that necklace--it’d been the start. he’d woken up because of an apple. louise, did, too.

the hours they spent in that treehouse, listening to david bowie and memorizing every scar and curve of the other--he wished that could have been his eternity. just him. and her. ... well, and bowie. every good love story needed a soundtrack.

but... but...

his head pounded as he lifted it off the counter in his parents’ kitchen. his mouth was dry, and he blinked, causing a half-empty bottle of vodka to come into focus.

louise is gone now, he thought.

and they thought he was the one who did it. he, the one who loved her more than anyone else on the planet.

he pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes.

he was going to prove his innocence even if it killed him. no matter what happened.

even if he sprout horns.

mini soundtrack sampler includes: machine gun kelly, ‘bloody valentine’ + the black keys, ‘go’ + david bowie, ‘heroes’

moonlight rising from the grave - alternatively titled ‘that time @agent-nightcrawler​ and agent iuniore found a haunted mansion,’ inspired by disney’s haunted mansion

“hello? ... hellooooo?” the massive door let out a huge groan as sylva pushed, putting one hand on tina’s shoulder as it swung open. “uhm--i’m really sorry to bother you, but we hit a deer and we just...” sylva sighed, her voice lowering in volume. “... need to use the phone...”

“this place is gigantic,” tina whispered, close at sylva’s side as they stepped out of the pouring rain into a very quiet, very elegant foyer. “and look! there’s lights, and all these lit candles... someone has to be here,” she continued as the door came to a gentle close behind them, muffling another roll of thunder.

“good evening.”

both of them yelped, sylva immediately yanking tina closer to her and whirled around in time to see--a butler? he was dressed like a butler.

and his clothes were... he was...

“sylva! why is the butler see-through!” tina whispered harshly, all while the spectral gentleman just looked at them expectantly. sylva clamped a hand over her mouth.

“hi!” she answered brightly.

this is a ghost. i’m talking to a ghost. this is fine. everything is fine.

“uh,” she coughed, beginning again, “we’re just having a little bit of a car emergency, is there a way we can call our head office? so they can come get us?” this is what i get for being out where i have no bars, and neither of us have our specs...

the ghostly butler nodded. his hair, glowing faintly, waved around his head as though he was underwater. “of course. please--follow me. the master of the manor will want to meet you.”

mini soundtrack sampler includes: the chordettes, ‘mr. sandman’ + bobby pickett, ‘monster mash’ + bastille, ‘survivin’’

mercy no more - a magic & mischief au inspired by the evil within

aly had been kieran’s partner at the krimson city police department for years. she’d walked with him through the death of his daughter, the disappearance of his wife.

neither of them acknowledged the spark. they didn’t then, and--as she met his eyes once in the rearview mirror, trying to pay attention to connelly and joseph as they talked about beacon--they wouldn’t acknowledge it now.

as soon as the hospital came into a view, a high-pitched ringing overame every other sound in the cruiser, every other sound period. aly slammed her hands over her ears, but it didn’t seem to help.

as soon as it started--it stopped. connelly had to swerve to avoid getting into the wrong lane.

“what--what was that?” aly asked, her palms still hovering by her ears.

“it was probably just a problem with the radio,” joseph suggested, pushing his glasses up as they drove pass the established police barriers.

the last dispatch team, they said, hadn’t come back. it was up to the three of them to find out what happened to their colleagues.

aly was close by kieran’s side as they walked through the rain. her gut twisted at the sight of the entry doors.

the smell of the blood and the slaughter hit her nose before she saw the bodies.

“what on earth happened here?”

“i don’t know. stay close. let’s find the surveillance room. if we can find the security cams, we’ll find out answer...”

if only that had been the end.

mini soundtrack sampler includes: all time low, ‘monsters’ + bastille, ‘what you gonna do???’ + gary numan, ‘long way down’

and the wind will be my hands - an au featuring @agent-sentinel-official​, @agent-chimera​ and @gaygent​, inspired by session 9, with a special appearance by @agent-thorn​

walter vaughn was an expert in abestoes abatement. so when he put in a bid to take on the entire danvers state mental hospital, the owners of the rotting estate welcomed him on board.

and as they did, he brought on two crewmates--xander, and z--to help him.

“we’ve got three weeks, so, no need to rush,” he explained on the first day, the sun beating down on his broad shoulders and half his hazmat tied around his waist. xander and z trailed behind him as they approached the massive building. “and i know, i know it’s still a big undertaking--but the money will be worth it. trust me.”

“you fellas our cleanup crew?” a tall, thin man in a suit with dark hair and a pair of ray ban sunglasses walked towards them, smiling broadly. he extended a hand, “carter jensen. the ah, danvers’ estate board sent me on their behalf to give you a tour of the building, let you get a good assessment of what you’re dealing with. i’m not entirely sure what they’ll do with the property when this is done, but we know for sure nothing can happen until this part’s complete. come on, the entrance is just this way... i’ll make sure to give you a master key ring.”

xander leaned down by z’s shoulder, muttering, “dude this place gives me the creeps... but maybe there’s still some cool old stuff left in there. like maybe, possibly, the trapped souls of the damned. you think it’s haunted?”

z answered, murmuring, “if not by ghosts--then maybe by something else.”

mini soundtrack sampler includes: the talking heads, ‘psycho killer’ +  lou barlow, ‘choke chain’ + sublime, ‘doin’ time’

[porkchop-ao3]

A Thrill I’ve Never Known (Chapter 61)

Stitched Up

I really love this chapter, ngl... I hope you do too ;) Full of conflict, violence and gore!

Tagging @emily-strange and @actuallyhansolo ❤

(All chapters tagged with #ATINK and also posted on Ao3, username PorkChop)

-

"I was in Van Horn, selling those jewels, Arthur," I began, wrapping my arms carefully around Arthur’s waist as he began riding back to camp, avoiding his injury, "I went into the bar and had a drink 'cause I was thirsty and there was Pinkertons in there! One of 'em came and spoke to me, he didn't know who I was and I didn't give him any clues."

"What did he wanna know?" Sadie asked.

"He was talking about us. Had photos of you boys, was showing 'em 'round. But when I came out I saw Micah! I stopped him and warned him, told him what happened and then…" I stalled, remembering the kiss. "We argued again. He… he really upset me," I shook my head.

We slowed when we came upon our abandoned campsite.

"But we went our separate ways and I came back here, after I told him this was where I was going," I continued. Charles and Sadie got down and helped each other to swiftly collapse the shelter, and we were soon on the move again. "Then the Pinkertons showed up, knew exactly where I was and who I was… that Arthur and I are together. I can't possibly see how they'd find out without Micah telling them. He must've gone back and done it out of spite 'cause he was mad."

"I guess he was counting on both of us getting taken out of the picture," Arthur growled. "Soon as I see him I'm gonna kill him," he added. 

"Do it slowly so I can castrate him before he loses consciousness," Sadie hissed through clenched teeth.

"And I wanna pull his teeth out one by one," John piped up.

I panted heavily, panic pulsing through every limb, putting me right on edge. This was it. It was all going to implode… and all because I wanted to have a damn drink.

–

We made it back to camp, a strong sense of urgency dictating our every move. I slid down off of Jet and supported Arthur on his way down too, conscious of the pain he must've been in. I stowed away the guilt I felt for another time; we had something big to confront. Like a wave of people storming towards us–

"Here she is, the goddamn Judas!" Bill roared out across the camp, and my heart suddenly felt like it was going to fall out of my ass, I froze on the spot. "Kill the bitch!" 

"Wha– the fuck are you on about Williamson? You better stay the hell back!" Arthur growled, stepping in front of me immediately. 

"It's her! She's the rat, Arthur, Micah figured it out," Javier pitched in, heading right for us, his hand on his gun where it sat in his holster. My eyes darted to Bill's hand, his gun was already out, sitting between white knuckles. I gasped, going lightheaded, staggering backwards.

"She ain't a goddamn rat, he is! You're gonna believe anything that comes out of that goddamn snake's mouth?" Arthur spat. 

"It's true, she ain't done nothing, it's–"

"Shut up, Marston! You ain't got a loyal bone in your body, I trust you as much as I trust her!" Bill interrupted. Sadie stomped forwards, in between us and them.

"Everybody calm down!" 

"How can we be calm? There's a traitor standing right in front of us and we've gotta move again, before the Pinkertons show up!" Javier argued.

"What exactly has that bastard been saying?" Arthur demanded. 

"Either you're really as stupid as everyone says, or you're in on it too. Move aside, Arthur, or I'll just blow a hole right through you," Bill spat, though he didn't raise his gun. Part of me knew that he wouldn't. He couldn't. Bill wouldn't do anything without Dutch's say so; I'd taken him to be one of the boot-lickers, especially in more recent days. 

"Arthur! Arthur, goddamn it, I knew she weren't to be trusted, I never wanted her in this gang in the first place! Ever since John brought her in–" Dutch began yelling from across the camp, barging out of his tent, but his words turned into muttered grumbles that we couldn't make out until he got closer again. Micah was dutifully at his side and I scowled at him over Arthur's shoulder. "– all she's done is poison you against me, typical woman. Just like Abigail!"

"What the hell are you talking about Dutch? She ain't poisoning me against nobody! You wanna see top class manipulation you wanna look at yourself, see what Micah's done to you!" Arthur protested, waving an arm in the blonde bastard's direction.

"She's working for the Pinkertons, Morgan. She's got to go," Micah said snidely, ignoring Arthur's words. "She was in Van Horn, having a good old chat. Even had the courtesy to warn me about 'em! You know, I believed her at first, thought she was too innocent to sell us all out. But then she suddenly disappears, and comes back without a scratch on her?"

"They were using her to get to me, after you told 'em where she was staying!" 

Micah laughed, shaking his head. "Why the hell would she tell me where she was going? She hates me, told me herself!"

"She saw you and told you about the Pinkertons in that bar, she said you had some sort'a argument and then you went back and told 'em about us. They wanted to capture me, and I'll bet that was all your idea anyway!" 

"The entire time you've been here you've caused nothing but trouble and tension in this gang, Micah, and you didn't see how they had her; chained up and sitting there like an afterthought while they all waited for Arthur to show up–" Charles began, but was swiftly interrupted. 

"She ain't been here as long as I have and you really believe her over me?" Micah hissed. 

"She ain't been nothing but good to every one of us, even you, Micah. Even with how you been slobbering over her this whole time," John said, shaking his head in disgust, "I wouldn't be surprised if you did all this just 'cause you're bitter."

"You kissed me!" I shouted, stepping out from behind Arthur, he tried to grab me and shield me but he was too slow. "You grabbed me and kissed me earlier on, again! Ain't the first time you've tried."

Micah laughed harder. "God, are you listening to this?"

"You never said that," Arthur pointed out, stepping forwards and grabbing my arm, his tone sharp and surprised. 

"It weren't the best time," I breathed a laugh void of any humour, pulled my arm from his grip. 

"You s'posing I'm heartbroken, wanted to get my revenge?" Micah cocked a brow. 

"Not at all. I think you like playing God! You like seeing me squirm, you like doing exactly the things I don't want you to do, and you like seeing other people suffer. You did all this to entertain yourself, probably!" I exploded, I looked at the crowd that had gathered; most of the gang. "You wanna point the finger at me? Go ahead! But if you kill me I guarantee you'll still be in the same goddamn boat 'cause you'll still have your filthy rat!" I jabbed a finger at him. 

Micah swaggered towards me, stepping between Bill and Javier, who'd both gone very quiet, looking unsure. Arthur edged closer, sticking by my side protectively. Sadie, John and Charles hovered close too.

"Your nasty lies'll get you killed before the rest of us, mark my words. We all know you're such a great con-woman. You've probably had us all on from the start, even Morgan," he said, his voice a low rumble. 

"I think I'd know by now," Arthur scoffed, his whole body exuding disbelief and something like amusement.

"I think you wouldn't have the slightest idea, you're just like any other pretty boy, gets his pecker wet and turns soft," Micah accused and it was Arthur's turn to laugh. 

"That why you're so tough?" He retorted. A sharp sigh caught my attention and Dutch, who had been mostly silent, standing and listening to the whole thing unfold, was rubbing at the bridge of his nose.

"Enough!" He snapped. "Children! You are all a bunch of children! It seems we are at an impasse of sorts, and ain't nothing gonna get solved by throwing petty insults around."

"You can't be serious, an impasse? How can you not listen to the things I'm saying? Dutch, you know me! I at least thought you'd listen to me and see sense," Arthur exclaimed, I could see the wounded look in his eye just from his profile.

"I thought I knew you, Arthur, but you started putting her before the rest of us and it's you that ain't been listening to me. You've questioned me at every turn ever since she showed up, and now you wanna turn around and act like I'm the one betraying you?" Dutch's voice cracked with its sudden raise in volume and I looked at the sneer of a smile Micah was wearing. 

"But Micah–"

"At least Micah is with me! All you're concerned with is getting away from me, running off with your new woman! Why should I listen to a damn word you say when you're a goddamn deserter!" Dutch yelled, thoroughly losing his temper. My heart felt as though it had been shattered. I shook my head and stared brokenly at Dutch.

"So that's it, that's what you think of me?" Arthur hissed after a few long seconds of painful silence. "All them years don't mean nothing now, yet you'll trust him, just fine," Arthur nodded slowly, leaning backwards, his body loosening, not quite shrinking, but losing its menace.

"I think we're getting a little off track, here," Micah indicated with a mildly impish tone, a little like he was tip-toeing through the words. Eager… but trying to hide it. "What're we doing about the traitor, Dutch?"

"Which one?" Was the response he got, and a series of gasps could be heard. 

"That ain't right, Dutch. First you give up on me and now you wanna do the same to Arthur? Ain't you thinking straight?" John rasped irritably, "what's wrong with you?"

"You're one to talk, seems real convenient that they had you locked up for a month or so and never hanged you!" Bill spat.

"Fuck you, Bill!"

"For God's sake! Why don't we just leave? We'll go our separate ways and that'll be it, never have to see each other again," I cried out, squeezing my eyes shut and balling my fists at my sides.

"You'd like that, now, wouldn't you? Finally getting your way, pulling this gang apart," Dutch said, regarding me with disdain. My jaw clenched tight and a growl built in my throat.

"She never did that, that was you and Micah. You didn't need any help from her," Arthur defended me. 

"You lot ain't had an ounce of loyalty between you!" Bill chipped in. 

"I have to agree," Javier added, a little pompousness to his tone. 

Everyone had their say, talking over one another and bickering and shouting and getting defensive and I stood there with something building and building inside me until I couldn't take anymore and I snapped–

"I am done with this!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, "I'm going! Anyone else who is finished here is free to fucking join me."

I spun around, pounding my feet into the hard mud below me as I headed straight for Rayna. 

"Ain't none of you gonna act?" I heard Micah questioning, words all but a growl. There was a pause, I had one foot in the stirrup. "Well I guess I gotta do everything around here," he added, and it gave me pause enough to turn and look to see what he was on about and–

My heart stopped when as quick as a whip he drew his gun, arm swinging up, eyes locked on me. I barely had enough time to register my fear before Arthur reacted; standing just a few feet away from him he threw himself at Micah, colliding hard with his chest, his shoulder slamming into him as he tackled him to the ground. The gun went off, Micah's arm flying up into the air, the stray bullet soaring past my head so close I could've sworn I'd felt a breeze. But the gun slipped from his grasp, skittering across the ground. 

Arthur was on top of him, grunts of exertion came from them both as they struggled and fought for the upper hand. It happened so quickly, not even giving anyone enough time to know what to do and then there was a sudden, choke of a gasp and Micah froze, his hands turning a sickly white with how hard they gripped onto the fabric of Arthur's shirt. Then I saw Arthur's hand jerk back, and registered the fresh blood – wet and glossy, adding to the dry flakiness from his own – before I registered the knife. 

Then everything kept moving. 

"Arthur!" Dutch yelled, and he along with everyone else swarmed forwards. Bill dragged Arthur off of Micah, pulling him out of the prickly grip on his clothes as if loosening him from the spines of a cactus. He stumbled back and landed on his backside, sitting on the ground and staring at the aftermath of the scuffle, the crimson knife still in his grip, wrist resting almost daintily on his knee as he stilled.

Huffs and grunts and wet, shaky gasps came from Micah where he remained on the ground, and I inspected him through the bodies rushing around him and saw the darker shade of red spreading out across his already carnelian shirt, rushing down to stain his beige pants. I stood with my mouth wide open, all stiff, not even in a fit state to tell my muscles to move let alone successfully do it. 

Charles and John came forwards, checking Arthur; his only wound was the one he already had, though it started bleeding profusely again, soaking his shirt with fresh blood after all the commotion. Charles took his wrist in his hand, and carefully peeled Arthur's fingers from the knife, removing it from his firm grip and tossing it on the ground. 

Mary-Beth was teary-eyed with shock, her hands plastered over her mouth where she stood far off from the crowd. Javier stared open-mouthed at Micah. Dutch and Bill hoisted the injured man up, hands underneath his arms. Micah hiccupped and gurgled and coughed and retched, groaning in agony, his face crumpled in a wince the likes of which I'd never seen on him. Blood oozed from his lower belly, leaving droplets on the ground like breadcrumbs all the way to Dutch's tent. Susan followed them, rushing around and yelling about cloth and towels and anything at all to stop the bleeding–

And I stood there, my foot still in the stirrup. Arthur still sitting on the ground, his head in his hand now, Charles and John asking him if he was okay, was he hurt? John congratulating him in a very muted way, telling him it was okay, he did what he had to, Micah deserved it. Sadie came into my line of sight and it took effort to get my ears to focus and register what she was saying. 

"You okay?" She was asking. I nodded numbly and dropped my foot down, marched straight over to Arthur and kneeled down beside him, hissing at the sharp pull on my burns but sucking it up, touching Arthur's arm and his knee and finally getting him to peel his eyes from the ground. 

"You hurt?" Were his first words and I shook my head sharply. 

"You are, we need to do something about this," I told him, bringing my hand to the wound on his side and applying some pressure. Arthur sucked in a sharp breath but I shushed him in a way I hoped was soothing. We needed to stop the bleeding. "Can someone get me something to clean this and wrap it up?" I asked anyone who'd listen. 

"Grimshaw's throwing everything we've got at that bastard in there, I don't know if there's anything–"

"Are you fucking serious?" I screeched, interrupting Sadie, my rudeness not at all intentional or personal. She didn't mind. 

"I know!" She hissed back, just as livid. 

With my free hand I opened up Arthur's satchel, it wasn't a time to worry about asking permission, I searched for whatever alcohol I could find. There was a few inches of whiskey left inside a bottle. It'd do. 

"Sweetheart, lie back," I whispered, and he did as he was told wordlessly. 

I pulled open his ruined shirt, pushing it off of his shoulders, his suspenders getting dragged off with it. He helped me get his upper body out of his union suit and I could finally see what was leaking all the blood. He had a deep gash ripping right past his mid torso, at the bottom of his ribcage. It was clear a bullet had skimmed past his side, trimming a chunk from him. An inch further in and he'd be in real trouble. 

"Arthur," I whispered, shaking my head. 

"I'm fine," he shook his head.

"You're hurt. Stop it," I chastised, "I'm gonna clean it as best I can. I'm gonna hurt you, but it's gotta be done. I think it'll need stitching, it needs closing up somehow," I added.

"I'll see what I can scavenge to help him," Sadie said. 

"Shall we move him to his bed?" John asked. 

"Yeah that's probably best," I nodded, watching the blood drip down Arthur's side with a churning gut. 

John and Charles helped Arthur to his feet and we all walked back through camp, enduring all sorts of stares. Some looked worried and upset, while others just looked pissed off. Disgusted. I didn't have time to really think about who was wearing which set of emotions.

"Did I really jus– did I kill him?" Arthur questioned, his tone lifting up in shock. 

"He ain't dead… you ain't–" I was trying to make him feel better. My instinct was to nurture away any guilt he might've felt; but he had no reason to be guilty. "Thank you," I suddenly blurted out. 

"Huh?" He grunted as Charles and John helped him to lay down on his bed.

"You saved me. He almost shot me," I breathed, a laugh bubbling out from me that was totally misplaced. Nothing about this was funny; I was just in shock. 

"You should'a gone in a second or third time with that knife," John hissed. "If that prick lives–"

"He won't," Charles said firmly, and it almost sounded like a threat the way he said it, "I'm calling it now, the knife went deep, and you see where it was? Try all they like to stop the bleeding, that had to have done some damage inside." 

"I didn't know I'd done it till it already happened. Didn't consciously do it," Arthur frowned to himself. I tended to him, pouring a splash of whiskey over his wound, earning a sharp hiss. "Who the hell expected me to just stand there and let him– he pointed his gun right at you! No fucker does that and lives, especially not someone I've been waiting for a damn excuse to kill anyway." 

"I got some stuff, managed to convince Grimshaw to give me just a little dressing. Got a needle too, in case he needs stitches," Sadie returned, handing the supplies over to me. I shook my head bitterly. 

"How on God's green earth can they all coddle him and leave you with nothing," I spat. "After what he's done! Why don't any of those fools believe us?"

"Cause he got to 'em first," Arthur muttered pessimistically, staring down at his side where I gently pressed an alcohol soaked cloth to him, cleaning the wound. "Anything we said after just sounded like we were trying to save ourselves."

"But you've been with Dutch years!" I exclaimed. 

"So's Marston, yet he's been a suspect since that bank robbery. Dutch had his doubts, thinking he was the rat; ain't no reason he wouldn't think the same of me. 'Specially since I been sneaking off with you, that fool will believe anything once he's got his claws hooked into an idea." 

"Goddamn it, I hate that you're right," John sighed, leaning against the side of the wagon. 

"So that's it? He thinks we're all betraying him, selling him out to the Pinkertons? I can't believe he's listening to Micah over anyone else, what a stupid man!" I spat through bared teeth, then took a breath to try and steady myself. I had to sew him up. "I am so sorry, all of you. If I hadn't– I don't know. This is unbelievable."

"Don't apologise for him. You ain't in control of how he thinks, he chooses to trust the wrong person, that's his mistake!" Arthur said, his eyes shifting across the camp towards Dutch's tent, unrelenting hatred in his eyes. "I will never forgive him, all those years I spent with him don't mean nothing to me no more."

"Stay still darlin', I'm gonna stitch you up," I told him softly. My hands were shaking a little as I eyed the wound. I really didn't want to hurt him. 

"If it makes you folk feel any better, Micah is not doing well," Sadie began frankly, "he was out cold when I was over there. Grimshaw's packing bandages into his gut just to try and stem the flow, ain't pretty. You really did a number on him, Arthur."

"I ain't sorry," Arthur muttered, "hope he dies slow."

"They keep wasting our medical supplies on prolonging the inevitable, he will. Even if they stop the bleeding, you probably punctured his intestines, or his bowels. Next few days will be fun, if he even lasts that long," Charles said almost nonchalantly, glancing off towards Dutch's tent.

I bit down on my lip as I carefully began to stitch up the gash on Arthur's side. He didn't flinch or make any noise, so either he was good at hiding it or I wasn't causing him much pain. It was reassuring enough that I could finish the job quite quickly. The stitches held enough to greatly reduce how much he was bleeding, so I carefully had him sit up so that I could wrap the dressing Sadie had nabbed around him. I secured it firmly, keeping it tight to his wound just enough to support and protect, but not so tight as to be uncomfortable. I checked he was okay, if there was anything else I could do for him. 

Arthur shook his head, "thank you, my darlin'," he sighed, his words so sincere and sweet, his eye contact so warm and full of love it felt almost like it shouldn't be shared in the company of others. I kissed his forehead once, then rose to my feet. 

I cleared my throat and looked around at John, Charles and Sadie one by one. "So, what the hell are we gonna do?”

[danwhobrowses]

My Highlights from AEW Revolution 2023

Another PPV has crossed the threshold as AEW Revolution enters the books. I've been adamant in avoiding spoilers for it, which is nervy since I saw it trending on tumblr, but the show had an air about it for sure.

On one hand, many were worried that some results would go to the winner they'd least prefer, and had already braced themselves to criticize it. On the other hand, there was the feeling that this could turn into a warzone, with 4 grudge-level feuds coming to a head.

For now, let's see what I enjoyed out of the show.

Spoilers for the PPV

Zero Hour

Danhausen in the Homer Simpson Moomoo

Mark Briscoe in general really

Mark Sterling announcing Ari and the Varsity Athletes

Clever nearfall to have Jay kick out of the weapons spot

Daddy 'tell me how my nipples feel' Magic, lads, give 2point0 a run at tag titles

Confirmation really on Final Burial, it is a classic buried alive match, minus Paul Bearer in cement of course

Adam Cole's promo was really good too

Main Card

For all the people who say they hate Jericho there's sure a lot who sing his theme song

Starks with the DDP energy ribs tape

'Throw Him Here' sign

Ricky has been selling the ribs really well, even between catches and landing big moves

Rock/Jericho parallels

Andretti flew at Sammy

Well-written finish as well, I do have qualms about Sammy showing up since the JAS was meant to be banned, so that should've been instant DQ, but having Ricky overcome the bat hit, block the Judas Effect and then win is good stuff

Christian Cage kept the fucking turtleneck XD

Immediately brawling, yes, it's a grudge match why would they lock up?

The old security guy happy as larry to let JB walk past him

Ooof the belt whipping, multilayered that given how Cage played the father figure to JB

JB finally hitting the Con-Chair-To, another full circle moment, because the Con-Chair-To to Adam Cole solidified his bond with Christian and led to their run that'd make him a tag champion, now it severs it

This is literally scrappy soap opera wrestling and it is great

Julia has a mask now!

Buddy and Kenny to start!

Malakai and Kenny!

Matt regretting calling out Brody instantly

Brody King doing Brody King things

Buddy's Knee cracking Nick mid-450

Brody's son getting to celebrate with the New Champions

Saraya keeping with the green aesthetic

Hayter always selling a crossbody like she's been wiped out

The match has done really well in blending the overlapping attacks

Hayter winning, granted the match could've finished more impactfully but there was more to tell, the key thing though is that everyone who was worried that Saraya would steal one and were braced to criticize AEW for it were W R O N G

Ruby swerve was good too, I know a lot didn't want it but they set it up, they got the reaction and now they only need 2 more 'outsiders' to get a Women's Blood & Guts; Tay Melo, Serena Deeb, Athena, Mercedes Martinez, there are some options there, pit them against Baker, Hayter, Shida/Riho, Willow and say Emi or Nyla and you've got a fight

Hangman's Entrance, just definitely has the right feel, and the red lighting - unlike a Fiendish guy - matches the feel of Texas Death

Again, Immediate Attack, why fucking wait?

Dude in the crowd who really wanted a selfie and got bonked for it XD

Moxley bringing out the fork, CZW energy

A fucking brick!?

Deadeye on a Barbed Wire Chair

Barbed Wire Back Rake!!!

Curb Stomp on the Brick

The finish was really good; Buckshot then a hangman choke with a chain

I also actually love the uncertain energy of the crowd, because it fits the brutality of the match

A baldfaced lie but at least gotta laugh at the attempt by Schiavone saying 'Revolution has never disappointed, ever', nobody wants to remember the end of the Exploding Barbed Wire Deathmatch (though the match was great)

OC and Danhausen repping the Best Friends gear

Danhausen getting to WRESTLE

But still, the tomfoolery as well

Kurt Angle homage with the straps gesturing then an Angle Slam

Satnam Singh knows his role, I know we don't see him wrestle a lot but he knows what he's doing

The Gunns winning with a Big Rig-variant against Danhausen - the guy who coined 'Ass Boys'

FTR are back, settling any doubts otherwise

MJF getting an orchestral opening, to be honest I was half expecting him to bring them all out then play his music anyway, just for that extra dickhead heel energy

And Max is in SHAPE

Bryan Danielson showing where ZSJ got his whole shtick from

MJF threw water at a kid!

Much like Reigns vs Sami, while I didn't enjoy the pace of it, it's heelery by design from Max to waste time, and he is a poser, he told us all exactly what his reign would be like and how we'd react to it so I can't be mad that this is how it's going

The Powerbomb backbreaker was clean

MJF doing the Shawn Michaels pose after stopping Bryan from skinning the cat

Doing the pinfall rolls like MJF did vs Darby but extra extra

Max using the DQ to get quickfire falls to draw level

Bryan just leans back as MJF tries to slap him XD

MJF with a running tombstone through a table outside the ring

The constant water breaks: it's storytelling, because Bryan never pauses but Max always takes a water break, because it sells how unprepared he was for the Iron Man match

The sound the crowd made by MJF's gushing, we can joke all we like about AEW using blood a lot, but Christian, Mox, Hangman, Dax (accidentally) and Bryan bled on this event and yet we still got a reaction from this blood

The moment 5 minutes remained they cranked to 11

SUPER TOMBSTONE

Schiavone strutting down the ramp with glee knowing that Sudden Death is coming

MJF kicked out of the Buisaku Knee!

Bryan tapping to the LeBell Lock!!!

Overall

Match of the Night: Texas Death Match. A difficult choice, but since the Iron Man took a while to heat up, I went with the Texas Death brutality over it and the Trios match.

Best Performance: MJF. It was a three-way tie between him, Bryan and Hangman right until he kicked out of the Buisaku Knee, but given how the World Champion played the audience multiple times and deserves credit for that.

Best Attire: Brody King, mainly the face paint. Without Jade on the card and me not getting Kenny's reference this wasn't quite a good show for unique attires

Best Spot: Texas Death Finale, I was very close to picking Buddy's Knee Lift but the brutality and perfect finale to the match has to win out.

[litafficionado]

“I need a man in my life. A man to love, a man to hold in my arms, a man to take inside of me, a man to make me wet, a man to make me scream and make me come, come, come. You have been that man. The man I could say everything to. The man who adored me. The man who touched my soul. Were you a delusion? I thought we were soul mates forever.

You’ve turned against me like a snake. Your face, fist-tight, deep furrows between your eyes. Stormy forehead. Your shoulders, rounded around your chest. Trapped into your rage.

Everyday the betrayal seems deeper, everyday the gap widens. Everyday I feel the loss a little more.

You love me. You love me not.

How can you not love me anymore? I don’t believe you don’t. All my feelings are shut down, you say. I don’t know what I’m feeling.

This is what I feel: rage and tenderness and sexual passion and contempt and disgust and disappointment and eternal love and despair and overwhelming pain and humiliation. I feel a rainbow of emotions, the full range, a whole orchestra of them, from violins to bass to the rhythm section. All of it at the same time, a jazz section gone berserk, deafening. And you don’t feel anything? When did I lose you? What day, what instant? Was it a gradual, slow frittering away of our love, or did it happen from the inside out, the conflicts pushing their underground way like termites until our relationship exploded, rotten from the core?

I cannot take it. I cannot live through it. I want to explode everything, leave the apartment, never come back, never see you again in my life. I oscillate between being crazy in love with you and dripping with disdain for you. It must be what one calls a love-hate relationship. I didn't know about the hate part, until now. I only talk about one thing: the possibility of reconciliation. My love for you. And it's still there. Sometimes. A lot of the times. But there's another side to me. A side you know nothing about. A side I show to nobody. A side of me that's implacable once it's been set in motion. So I am careful. I don't drudge up the heavy artillery unless I have used all my other weapons. Until I am absolutely sure. And then, there's no hesitation. No dilly-dallying. No wishy-washying. No stumbling. It's very delicate, really. Thoughtful. There's no slamming of doors, no grandstanding, no seething, no outpouring. I will, very gently, pull my needle out of the game—to use the French phrase. In this case, our game.

If you leave, I will take your head and smash it against our front door until your brain explodes and gray matter sticks all over the walls and ceiling. I want to hear the cracking of the bones, the back of your skull splitting open or your face disfiguring, pissing blood, teeth flying, your hair matted with the innards of your cortex, maybe you could make dreads easily with the sticky gooey matter. I have to protect myself, everybody tells me. But if you leave, I want to destroy you, not protect myself legally and financially. That seems too mild, too civilized.

You have tried to erase me, negate me. What would be the best way to torture you in retaliation? Mental, or physical torture?

I thought you had soul, I thought you had heart. Are you just a traitor and a coward? But maybe you still have a soul, still have a heart. It's just that you don't love me anymore. It's life. 

We continue to live in ambiguity, in vagueness, a world where intentions and dreams do not meet actions. Deep down, we trusted each other, I think. There was an unspoken agreement that we were in it for the long haul, together, no matter what the conflicts.

But now things are different. Something has happened that no amount of lovemaking can undo. 

This is turning into the passion of Jesus Fucking Christ. With you as Judas, of course. I am carrying the cross and the crown of thorns is bleeding into my hair and all over my face. And the day you leave is the day of crucifixion. Is that supposed to be my fate? Then you will have succeeded in your ritual killing. 

I don't want to march to my death, patiently waiting for you to leave me.

I will give you the  coup de grâce.

The excitement of the breakup, the exquisite frisson of freedom, the headiness of moving into the unknown and starting from scratch. I'm afraid I will never be able to replace you. I cannot imagine how you could have replaced me.” -Catherine Texier, from Breakup: The End of a Love Story