#to save mordred's life. that's huge

[adhd-merlin]

#THANK YOU. EXACTLY.#my favourite merlin & arthur & mordred dynamic is: mordred being the embodiment of 😊🥺 while merlin thinks off to the side of ways to get#rid of him/kill him. and arthur is APPALLED by merlin’s apparent hatred (it’s not rly hatred just the decaying of merlin’s morals and an#unwavering blind faith in arthur) of mordred and he subtly is being hard on merlin while also trying to understand why he hates mordred so#much! bc i do think arthur IS quite fond of mordred and since he’s the youngest one of his knights he has a soft spot for him but merlin’s#his best friend!! 🥺 and he wants them to get along or at least not have merlin wanting to shove mordred into a hovel or smth 😭#and i love the idea of arthur’s insistence that mordred’s a noble knight and a kind man and even WHEN merlin breaks and tells him of the#prophecy arthur just gives merlin the saddest look ever and is like ‘merlin he has done no crime against me. i cannot punish him for what h#may or may not do. it's not right.’ & merlin’s tearing his hair out bc he CANNOT let arthur die & his morals are SO fucked at this point &#arthur realises this i think. because HE would be merlin’s moral compass. he will be merlin’s true north as merlin has been to arthur#anyway. don’t know why i just rambled for so long i just have SO many thoughts abt them <3

(@merlinemrys)

you know, if arthur had ever come to know that merlin considered letting a literal child die to save his life, however briefly, he would have been horrified. even if mordred did end up killing him. that's just not what arthur was about

[ggukalaxy]

just finished my rewatch of all five seasons of bbc's merlin, and my sister and i decided it would be fun to keep count of how many times merlin saved arthur's life throughout the show, so here is an accumulated list:

(disclaimer: it is absolutey possible that we weren't always watching attentively and that we might have missed a case or two, but i like to believe that it is kinda accurate)

times arthur would have died if merlin hadn't saved him

• 1x01: dagger thrown at arthur ⟶ merlin slowed down time to pull arthur out of the way

• 1x02: snakes supposed to poison arthur ⟶ merlin exposes the snakes and arthur kills them

• 1x04: poisoned cup ⟶ merlin drinks from it instead

• 1x05: a griffin attacks them ⟶ lancelot fights it, and merlin enchants his sword/spear so that it’ll work

• 1x07: arthur is to be sacrificed to the sidhe ⟶ merlin saves him

• 1x10: ealdor gets attacked, including arthur, and they’re doomed ⟶ merlin creates a huge wind gust to save everyone

• 1x13: questing beast attacks arthur ⟶ merlin kills it

• 1x13: questing beast bites arthur, the poison is fatal ⟶ merlin gets water from the cup of life to save him

• 2x01: arthur gets attacked by a huge boar (?) ⟶ merlin uses magic on a crossbow to save him 

• 2x01: camelot gets attack by living stone statues ⟶ merlin destroys them

• 2x02: assassin tries to kill arthur during a tournament on horses ⟶ merlin uses magic to make the assassin fall off his horse

• 2x12: dead stone statue thingies attack arthur and his knights ⟶ merlin uses magic to make the ceiling cave in and pulls arthur to his side, separating them from the statue thingies

• 2x13: arthur's wounds are getting worse ⟶ merlin finds balinor in time and has him help him (HONORARY MENTION)

• 3x04: arthur gets attacked (again) ⟶ merlin uses magic to save him (again)

• 3x07: morgause tries to kill arthur with a fire beam ⟶ merlin uses magic to make the fire beam explode before it reaches arthur

• 3x08: arthur gets attacked by wyverns ⟶ merlin uses his dragonlordness to stop them

• 3x08: arthur wears the eye of the phoenix bracelet (sucking life-force out of someone) ⟶ merlin takes it off him

• 3x12: arthur gets shot by a poisoned arrow ⟶ merlin uses magic to help him, then brings him to gaius

• 3x13: an army of immortal deads attacks camelot ⟶ merlin empties the cup of life of their blood to “kill” them all

• 4x01: dorochas attack arthur ⟶ merlin pushes arthur out of the way to get attacked instead

• 4x04: their food gets poisoned ⟶ merlin uses magic to save them

• 4x05: arthur fights in a duel and is about to be striked down ⟶ merlin makes the opponent’s sword fall out of his hands with magic

• 5x01: arthur and their men get attacked by morgana’s men ⟶ merlin saves arthur and gets them away from the battle

• 5x04: arthur almost got beheaded by odin ⟶ merlin created an earthquake with magic to stop that

• 5x06: dark tower traps ⟶ merlin parries an arrow with magic

• 5x07: arthur gets poisoned ⟶ merlin saves him with magic

• 5x08: someone wants to shoot an arrow at arthur ⟶ merlin attacks the shooter and saves arthur

• 5x11: kara tried to stab arthur ⟶ merlin uses magic to save him

and the one time he fails: 5x13, mordred stabs arthur with a sword forged on a dragon’s breath — merlin doesn’t get him to avalon in time

which brings us to a total of 27.5 times that merlin has saved arthur's life throughout the show

we also kept track of all the times arthur saved merlin's life, so here is that list:

• 1x03: merlin tells uther he is a sorcerer to save gwen (which would’ve gotten him a death sentence) ⟶ arthur convinces his father that merlin is lying out of love for gwen

• 1x04: merlin drank from a poisoned cup ⟶ arthur gets the antidote for him

• 1x11: arthur drinks poison so that merlin won’t have to ⟶ it was actually a sleeping draft though (HONORARY MENTION)

• 1x13: questing beast attacks ⟶ arthur pulled merlin out of the way

• 2x12: dead stone statue thingy attacks merlin ⟶ arthur strikes it down

• 4x01: a dorocha flies towards merlin ⟶ arthur pushes him out of the way

• 4x08: the lamia was about to kill merlin ⟶ arthur comes in at just the right time

which brings us to a total of 6.5 times that arthur saved merlin's life

it's kind of crazy to me to compare it like this, because on the one hand 27 near-death experiences across 65 episodes doesn't really sound like a lot. but at the same time i can't believe that arthur would have died 27 times if it hadn't been for merlin. and to think that arthur only saved merlin's life 6 times though?? oof

on my next rewatch, my sister and i want to make a list of all the moments that contributed to arthur's death (a so-called "doom list" with moments like merlin poisoning morgana in 2x13 etc), but that one is definitely going to be more subjective, since it'll be based on things that we think could've prevented arthur's death if they had gone any different

very excited to debate all the things that could go on that one!

[yoonnamjin25]

Is it really accurate to use the word "selfless" to describe Merlin?

"Selfless" is a word with an undeniable good "white" connotation and when it comes to Merlin, I don't think we can say something is black or white in its entirety. So this question is kind of tricky and, honestly, far too complicated to answer it with a simple and short yes or no.

Let me elaborate.

He was not selfish when it came to himself as a person —that part is right— as he never hesitated in giving his life for others, always helped his friends no matter what, never seeked power nor recognition for himself, etc.

But I do think he was selfish, extremely so at times, when it came to his own self-interests. The main one being Arthur's safety and wellbeing.

And why do I say this? Let's go back to memory lane and remember some of his decisions throughout the show!

1. He condemned (heartbrokenly, I'll give him that) his whole kin to continue living in the shadows and most probably to be executed if they were caught practicing magic in Camelot just so Mordred could die and Arthur could live by extension.

2. Talking about Mordred, he never gave him the chance to prove himself trustworthy and loyal to Arthur, he just decided he was evil since he saw he was destined to kill his friend instead of trying to change that outcome or understand where would that could come from.

3. He lied to Arthur about himself and what he was for the whole decade they knew each other so Arthur wouldn't feel bad for choosing him over his father when he found out about his magic. Or viceversa.

4. He always put Arthur's life before any other's, including his closest friends: remember when he repeatedly tried to talk Arthur out of going to save them from Morgana because he was worried about him as the druid seer showed him he was going to be killed by a man aka Mordred?

5. He lied to Arthur about his mother and what Uther did to conceive him (he also robbed him that unique and beautiful moment he shared with his mom), something he had all the right to know, so Arthur wouldn't kill Uther and hate himself for it for the rest of his life.

6. He took Arthur's free will away from him so he would agree to everything Merlin said and he could take him out of the castle and save his life when Morgana and Agravaine attacked.

And I could go on, honestly, but I won't because I fear some people might take this as a hating post towards Merlin, which it definitely is not lol. Quite the contrary, actually! I understand and, to a certain point even love, all the decisions Merlin took because it just proved the inmensity of his love for Arthur.

So if I mention all this is because, despite having honorable goals —as saving someone's life (Arthur's) or sparing them the possibility of feeling irrevocably guilty for taking a life-altering decision when their heads were clouded by anger, sadness and fear— the means he used to do all that were highly questionable to say the least: lies, deceiving, manipulation, mind-control and so on are, in no way, justifiable.

They are just not.

But we fans decide to brush those aside and accept them because we understand that it all came out from a place of love. Pure, huge, raw and unwavering love. Although, that still doesn't make it right. Not really.

I will dare to say it actually makes it worse.

Love is a complicated and, may I say, dangerous feeling. It can make us feel happier, confident with oursleves, adventurous and giddy. But it can also make us stupid, blind and selfish.

And that's exactly what it did to Merlin.

He came to a point where he stopped caring about his destiny and focused only on saving Arthur's life, others be damned, just because he loved him too much and he couldn't bare to lose him.

And unfortunately at the end, it was that love, and the King's complete and blind trust in Merlin, that got Arthur dead.

To sum it up, I don't think there's a better way to describe Merlin than to say he was a whole spectrum of greys. A constant paradox of selflessness and selfishness. Another victim of love.

Anyway, he was far from perfect but that's exactly why I love him! He could come as the most selfless person at first glance (and to a certain degree, he was; although I think the word sacrificial suits him even better) but if you really look at it, specially from a canon era outsider POV, he could rather come as a selfish, powerful man that wouldn't hesitate in destroying you if it means he can save Arthur's life with that.

He was truly unhinged when it came to his other half and that's exactly why he's my second most favorite fictional character ever created!

**The first one being Dean Winchester, another unhinged man that couldn't live without his baby brother and would burn the whole world willingly only to keep Sammy safe!

Huh.

Now that I think about it.

Maybe I have a type?

[isleofdarkness]

P l e a s e may we hear more about what Chaos, Carlos, and Zevon invent

Chaos makes the coolest mobility aids like, ever. He makes the mobility aid versions of those Fast and Furious cars that can do all of that wild stuff and never even scratch the paint. His rollator can fly- only to around twenty feet in the air, but still. His old wheelchair (now Riah's wheelchair,) can climb stairs, go up to twenty miles an hour, has all of these detachable and adjustable parts that can turn it into anything between a racing wheelchair to a bespoke powerchair. Mordred's wheelchair has heating and cooling, an alarm, and can go up to thirty miles per hour. No matter what you ask him to add, he will add it. He doesn't charge money, too. He just likes the challenge.

Carlos makes medical equipment and prosthetics. Agony's bionic arm? He made that. Riah's oxygen creator? He made that, too. He made Evie's defibrillator, Mischa and Kira's seizure alert things, hearing aids, medical implants- if you ask him to do it, he will. He can't just make everything up like Chaos, he needs an example to copy for the first time, but he's got a huge book of medical equipment from Chiron so he's got pretty much everything.

Zevon is the one who handles more delicate things. It makes stuff like artificial organs, even artificial spines (like Lydia's.) It makes heart valves, blood vessels, patches for holes in internal organs or reinforcement for a brain stem, artificial nerves, ghost organs, even artificial blood. Zevon is into biomechanical engineering and it's entirely self-taught. Zevon is the one you go to when you need something that is immediately life-or-death. A heart transplant, a lung transplant, a spinal transplant, Zevon makes all of those possible. It's the reason a lot of disabled people on the Isle are alive, because no amount of technology can substitute for a pair of lungs or a functioning heart. Zevon is the one who makes those biomechanical and biochemical things that save lives without a doubt. And it does it because it really wants to stick it to Auradon. "Oh, you left us with no supplies? Well guess what, fuckers, I created artificial bone marrow and successfully made a fake spine! I will keep people alive and that's a motherfucking threat!"

Lydia is usually the one they test this on. They all tried to make her stop but she can walk away fine if the spinal transplant goes wrong or the mobility aid explodes.

[kissgoodknight]

💕 pls and thank u. choose ur fighter. hahaha.

aw yissss 💖💖💖 i'm ofc gonna choose sir griffin bbcmerlin bc i have probably the most lore for them call that loredred

so griffin (born gruffudd) was born to two mages, though they did not meet either for a very long time and they show no signs of having magic. it's revealed later that their father is taliesin (who i revamped in my universe to make more sense and be better for the show so he's a lot younger). their parents left them as a baby with gaius, promising to be back for them later - but their parents never returned.

growing up, griffin was always kind of a weird child, but good and kind and playful and so loving. they always had a love of music and was gifted a lute by gaius at a fairly young age. they never really understood why they were so drawn to music their whole life, but it was undeniable. they're honestly about as close as you can get to being a bard without actually being one lmao. also fun fact they befriend all the stray cats that wonder around camelot!!

so at the start of season 1 when merlin comes to live with them griffin is.. honestly a bit standoffish. gaius is confused bc they're usually a lot nicer and a little jokester and he's like wth is going on. but it becomes clear they've got issues with abandonment bc of their parents and they're afraid that with merlin around gaius won't want them there anymore - which he works tireless to prove is not the case!!!! griffin does warm up to merlin (who tries very hard to be friendly with them) and they get rly close. he's like a big brother to them pretty much. they're a little appalled when he starts working for arthur bc "that guy was always a JERK to me, you should smother him in his sleep!" as gaius quickly reminds them SH, the king will NOT take that lightly, even from someone your age (uther does not like griffin bc they have red hair and make potions out of grass and mud and have been smarter than him since they were like 7)

shit goes crazy when mordred comes to camelot for the first time!!!! griffin insists on helping keep him safe and brings him gifts like frogs and sticks and demands to sit with him on morgana's bed, wooden training sword in hand, to protect him. also griffin has such a like.. little kid crush on morgana tbh like she's too old for them but they're baby and they can dream

as they grow up they grow closer with their family (which now includes the knights) and even with arthur, who is slowly changing over time and no longer a huge dick to them all the time and even promises to make them a knight one day, something that their younger and uneducated self had dreamt of for years. they're knighted as of the ending of season 3 when they're old enough and are proud to serve him !! they would've rather died than server uther. bitch

so at the beginning of season 5 it gets even WILDER bc mordred is reunited with this sleepy lil goofball when they're adults and he's like oh. oh i'm in love with them. and the feeling is MUTUAL and merlin fucking hates it. he is not happy about it one bit but he just has to deal. this is the first time in a long time there's genuine tension between him and griffin bc he confides in them about most things and they can't stand the way he treats mordred.

some time in season 5 griffin's powers finally come into play. they work in a very particular way but the gist that they figure out is that their abilities stem from giving hope and inspiration and breathing light and life into the world, generally in the form of song because they're literally a dnd bard what can i say and while afraid for them, mordred and their family are so proud

in my universe, which is the right and better and not poorly written rushed ending one, mordred still joins morgana because griffin gets seriously hurt and he uses magic to save them. he knows it will bring consequences but he'd rather that than lose his source of light. by camlann, griffin is heartbroken beyond belief - this call back to their fear of abandonment after all - and does not want to fight. they do come face to face with him on the battlefield but all they can do is find a place to hide together before griffin reveals that they were wounded, and passes out. the sight of him carrying their unconscious body is what makes arthur and morgana both pause their confrontation and think - this is two people they care deeply about, forced to be enemies, still finding a way to be lovers, just wanting to be safe and sound together. while things are still incredibly tense, they get griffin to safety to be healed and decide that maybe it's worth talking things out.

[pendragonsclotpole]

it’s because 100% of merlin’s problems are caused by one person and one person only: merlin

what’s that? merlin’s crying about another one of his friend’s dying at the hands of one of camelot’s enemies. oh no, if only some overpowered character in this narrative could potentially wallop these enemies and pulverize them into dust! what’s that? he totally could but refuses to do so because it puts his place next to the love of his life/soulmate in jeopardy? wow, okay, thanks for that gut punch you useless clotpole.

what’s that? merlin’s crying over his best friend possibly marrying the wrong woman? and wait, it’s because said best friend’s wife was secretly enchanted by her sister-in-law and magically coerced to cheat on her husband/his best friend and even after finding out he chose to do nothing and never tell his best friend so said best friend spends episodes in emotional turmoil and heartbreak after banishing the love of his life? and double wait, best friend’s wife is also his best friend and her banishment gets her kidnapped by some neanderthal warlord with no concept of consent? wow, yeah merlin i totally feel bad for you.

what’s that? merlin’s crying over the death of his best friend, king, and soulmate??? wow how horrible it would be if i didn’t know that this was the consequences of his actions set in place three whole seasons ago after mercilessly poisoning his best friend’s sister and never telling her why, and then continuing not to tell her as he thwarted her attempts on their lives, killed her (secretly evil because he never told her the truth) sister, kept her best friend in the split despite actively/knowingly supporting their mentor’s gaslighting of his best friend’s sister for years, and then practically handing that best friend’s sister—oh wait, what merlin and morgana were also friends for two seasons? oh guess we should reword this all—handing the friend he gaslit and betrayed and made his enemy her best, most strongest ally aka mordred on a silver platter, which if we all recall, was a huge mistake once again caused by merlin doing the exact things everybody in the know (and sometimes not in the know) told him not to do: don’t listen to the dragon, don’t believe wholeheartedly in prophecy, don’t treat mordred cruelly, don’t betray him by hypocritically stopping him from doing the same exact thing you’ve done behind your best friend’s back for literal years just because you believe it’s the right thing to do, when it is in fact not because it’s just another instance of you putting your best friend above everyone else.

like come on! at some point in season 5 you as the audience realize that merlin, for all that he claimed to want to save arthur and bring back magic into the land, he was also very much willing to do everything it took to selfishly protect his own secret and never reveal it to arthur. every rewatch i become more convinced that merlin was so obsessed with protecting arthur and prioritizing him above everyone else that there was never any other option. at some point, merlin valued arthur over everything and everyone else. arthur’s safety and emotions were placed above everything else, hell, even more selfishly, merlin placed his relationship to arthur and closeness to the king above everything else.

the young man at the beginning of the series would have been horrified at the level of devotion the man at the end of the series held for arthur. sure arthur was a great man, but he wasn’t always a good man. he had the potential to be, if only merlin gave him the chance to be.

merlin, for me, is so anti-hero coded to arthur’s hero, morgause’s villain, and morgana’s anti-villain. and normally this would mean he’s someone you could instantly love, op, except that merlin kind of wrote himself into that role more than most characters. not to victim blame but like, what about merlin’s victims???

Gods but somebody should help me understand why I hate merlin so much, I truly have no idea, and it's not even hatred, it's apathy, it's indifference to anything happening to him...

And I don't understand, I think it's quite simple, I should move on and forget about the show but Idc about show, I want to understand why I'm so disinterested in a character's plight, I used to love.

For some time I thought it was just me hating all the main characters, but I tried analyse my own feelings and, just no, I don't, I love other of my fav main characters, some of them I love too much even. It's just merlin... And I've no idea how this happened.

here's the thing tho, I love happy Merlin, but I hate when it's well "merlin whump" Ig? Idk man and I'm so confused.

[bitsandbobsofwriting]

Suppose the Gang™️ live together. Who does which chore? Who makes messes and who nags? & ukw you can add characters like Will, Mithian, Daegal, Kara, Morgause too!! (If you don't want to that's fine :)

(Headcanon Masterlist) (Full Masterlist)

OHOHOHOHOHO I like this anon, lots of crack potential, thank you :D

Ok so. Lets say they all live in the same apartment complex, and become buddies through that (because upwards of 15 people living together is... too many lol). Arthur lives in the nicest, biggest apartment, the penthouse, which is where they all hang out (much to his annoyance) most of the time. Eventually they all get keys to each others' places which is a huge annoyance because like... that's a LOT of keys they all have to carry around.

Anyway. 

Merlin and Will are roommates, shortly joined by Gwen, and then Elyan a little while later, after he returns from travelling. Mordred and Daegal live with their uncle, Iseldir, who is the only sane one and tends to stay out of everyone else's way. Percival, Gwaine, and Lancelot share, and are across the hall from M+W+G+E. Leon lives on his own because he has his life together, and prefers having his own space to living with friends, but has also lived in the building the longest. Gaius also lives alone, but he's Merlin's uncle, and is a retired doctor or nurse or something, so he's always being woken up at God knows in the morning to treat various injuries and illnesses. It can literally be needing to tell them anything from "Take a paracetamol and fuck off" to "Jesus Fucking Christ what do you mean he accidentally ate half a kilo of rat poison call a fucking ambulance??". Mithian lives in the building next door, in her own penthouse, and Kara and Morgause live in their own apartments downstairs. Morgana used to share with Arthur, but as much as they're still on good terms, they argued all the time and it was annoying, so she eventually moved in with Morgause.

Gaius tries so hard to stay away from all the weird ass youngers that congregated in his apartment building, but they're all so stupid, and he finds himself looking after them more often than he'd care to admit. He doesn't like... make them meals or anything, but he gives them all mini medkits and looks after them when they're sick. Though with lots of sarcasm and general attitude. Iseldir is the same, but he's a little more removed. He'll occasionally show up to offer sage advice or a helping hand if Mordred/Daegal ask for it specifically. People sort of forget he's there most of the time, but he did save Leon's life once when he was a victim of a hit and run right outside the building.

Merlin, Will, Gwen, and Elyan’s place is like... halfway between messy and tidy. It never gets ridiculous, because Will+Gwen won’t let it, but Elyan and Merlin are fairly messy. You’d think that Lancelot, Percival, and Gwaine’s place would be messiest, purely because of Gwaine, but he’s actually the neatest of them all. Though that isn’t because Gwaine is a neat person, like Lance and Percy are, it’s because he has barely any belongings, and all his shit basically never gets taken out of his suitcases and moving boxes. The others reckon it’s something to do with him hiding from his family maybe? Or an ex? Always being ready to run? But they don’t pry, they just hope he sticks around. Arthur’s place is a MESS and he refuses to tidy, despite it making his life so much harder because he never knows where anything is. Leon’s place is always tidy of course, as is Mordred, Daegal, and Iseldir’s place, and Gaius’ place. They’ve no clue how the girls in the building next door live (very cleanly, or very messily, depending on the mood they’re in), because other than Gwen and Mordred, no one else is allowed access.

The best food is always found in Merlin, Will, Gwen, and Elyan’s place. All of them, bar Will, can cook: Merlin because his mum taught him, and he’s always been pretty self sufficient, Gwen because she was the cook in her house growing up, and Elyan, because both Gwen taught him, and he learnt how to cook all sorts of interesting foreign food when he was travelling. Leon cooks well, but boring-ly, as does Gaius and Iseldir. Arthur can’t cook at all, and actually ends up going to M+W+G+E’s place pretty much every night, to the point where they set a place at the table for him automatically, and if he doesn’t show up without a warning, someone will go check on him.

Will and Arthur have never got along, but like... they keep it on the down low because neither of them are prepared to give up on the rest of the friend group just to avoid the other. But also... once Arthur sees how fiercely protective Will is of his friends, especially Merlin, and once Will sees Arthur punch someone for groping Morgause and Morgana at a bar, they both lay off. They’re secretly rather fond of each other actually, not that either of them would admit it.

Daegal and Mordred kind of idolise Merlin a bit, which everyone thinks is super weird because other than his ability to cook, the man is a bit of a disaster. He’s mid way through medical school and is a mess for it. But you know, he tries to look after them, tells Mordred to shoot his shot with Kara (who he’s been communicating with posters stuck on the inside of his window, because their rooms are across from each other), and teaches Daegal bits and pieces of first aid.

Morgana, whenever she comes over, Gwen, and Merlin are naggers when it comes to Arthur’s untidiness, but no one else really cares, and Morgause just rolls her eyes at it all. Merlin and Gwen meet up maybe once a month to sneak into his apartment and tidy everything up, and he simultaneously hates and loves it. Lancelot nags Merlin into looking after himself, especially when Merlin is in turn nagging everyone else to look after themselves. Lance will pop over when he knows that Merlin has been studying six hours straight without a break, or has spent a whole afternoon helping Arthur out with paperwork (Arthur has him paid as a part time personal assistant or something, so it’s not like he’s working for free), to make him stop and nap and rehydrate. He and Gwen tag team “looking after Merlin”.

Everyone’s like... least favourite thing, is when Arthur and Morgana’s father comes to visit. He’s always an arse, and though the others don’t really see him, except maybe Merlin if he happens to be working at Arthur’s when Uther visits, Arthur and Morgana are always in foul moods for days after he leaves. He always manages to spark arguments between the two of them, which Morgause somehow ends up involving herself in. He’s a bit of a xenophobic twat as well; he’s been pretty cruel to Daegal, Mordred, and Iseldir in the corridor, and the only reason he’s not cruel to Merlin is because he hides his accent/takes care to never speak his native tongue around the man. Everyone always bands together to fix everything when he goes though. Merlin, Gwen, and Elyan will take over Arthur’s massive kitchen and cook a feast and everyone will come and they’ll eat and drink and have Mario Kart tournaments on his huge TV.

There’s also kind of a running joke about Arthur almost or actually dating almost everyone in the group. He and Leon had known each other for years before they knew anyone else, and won’t expand on the friendship they had previous to everyone else showing up. There was a weird tension between Arthur and Lance for like... the first week after he moved in, then it happened again with Gwaine. He and Gwen had a relationship for maybe a year before they realised they were besties and it was weird. He and Mithian had a short lived romance where they both went “meh, no thanks” after maybe a week. He checked Elyan out a handful of times in full view of everyone when they first met, but nothing ever came of it. The only thing that’s lasted more than that year with Gwen, is the obvious thing he has for Merlin. That Merlin also has for him. That both of them are entirely unaware of. Pretty much everyone in the building has money on it now, even people in other apartments who aren’t part of the group. Gwen, Will, and Elyan both really want it to happen, because they won’t have to witness Merlin mope every time Arthur brings a date home anymore, and really don’t want it to happen, because Merlin will move upstairs and they’ll have to start paying more rent.

ANYWAY!!! The whole apartment complex is a MESS but... none of them ever consider leaving because they kind of love it. Half of them are on the same casual football/rugby/pub quiz team. Arthur gave a few of them/would give any of them jobs at his company. They don’t want to leave behind Elyan’s cooking, or Gaius’ odd brand of caring, or Iseldir’s fortune cookie advice, or Morgana and Morgause’s judging, or Gwaine’s ADHD induced bouts of learning to play the drums at three in the morning. It’s just all very special, and homely, and lovely.

~

Whew, that’s a lot!

I know that’s not exactly what you meant anon, but I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless!! :D

[cappymightwrite]

What draws you to incest ?

*sighs* Ok, here we go. I'm a real card carrying Jonsa now aren't I?

Anon, listen. I know this is an anti question that gets bandied about a lot, aimed at provoking, etc, when we all know no Jonsa is out here being all you know what, it really is the incest, and the incest alone, that draws me in. I mean, come on now. Grow up.

If I was "drawn" to incest I'd be a fan of Cersei x Jaime, Lucrezia x Cesare, hell Oedipus x Jocasta etc... but I haven't displayed any interest in them now, have I? So, huh, it can't be that.

Frankly, it's a derivitive question that is really missing the mark. I'm not "drawn" to it, though yeah, it is an unavoidable element of Jonsa. The real question you should be asking though, is what draws GRRM to it? Because he obviously is drawn to it, specifically what is termed the "incest motif" in academic and literary scholarship. That is a far more worthwhile avenue of thinking and questioning, compared with asking me. Luckily for you though anon, I sort of anticipated getting this kind of question so had something in my drafts on standby...

You really don't have to look far, or that deeply, to be hit over the head by the connection between GRRM's literary influences and the incest motif. I mean, let's start with the big cheese himself, Tolkein:

Tolkein + Quenta Silmarillion

We know for definite that GRRM has been influenced by Tolkein, and in The Silmarillion you notably have a case of unintentional incest in Quenta Silmarillion, where Túrin Turambar, under the power of a curse, unwittingly murders his friend, as well as marries and impregnates his sister, Nienor Níniel, who herself had lost her memory due to an enchantment.

Mr Tolkein, "what draws you to incest?"

Old Norse + Völsunga saga

Tolkein, as a professor of Anglo-Saxon, was hugely influenced by Old English and Old Norse literature. The story of the ring Andvaranaut, told in Völsunga saga, is strongly thought to have been a key influence behind The Lord of the Rings. Also featured within this legendary saga is the relationship between the twins Signy and Sigmund — at one point in the saga, Signy tricks her brother into sleeping with her, which produces a son, Sinfjotli, of pure Völsung blood, raised with the singular purpose of enacting vengence.

Anonymous Norse saga writer, "what draws you to incest?"

Medieval Literature as a whole

A lot is made of how "true" to the storied past ASOIAF is, how reflective it is of medieval society (and earlier), its power structures, its ideals and martial values etc. ASOIAF, however, is not attempting historical accuracy, and should not be read as such. Yet it is clearly drawing from a version of the past, as depicted in medieval romances and pre-Christian mythology for instance, as well as dusty tomes on warfare strategy. As noted by Elizabeth Archibald in her article Incest in Medieval Literature and Society (1989):

Of course the Middle Ages inherited and retold a number of incest stories from the classical world. Through Statius they knew Oedipus, through Ovid they knew the stories of Canace, Byblis, Myrrha and Phaedra. All these stories end more or less tragically: the main characters either die or suffer metamorphosis. Medieval readers also knew the classical tradition of incest as a polemical accusation,* for instance the charges against Caligula and Nero. – p. 2

The word "polemic" is connected to controversy, to debate and dispute, therefore these classical texts were exploring the incest motif in order to create discussion on a controversial topic. In a way, your question of "what draws you to incest?" has a whiff of polemical accusation to it, but as I stated, you're missing the bigger question.

Moving back to the Middle Ages, however, it is interesting that we do see a trend of more incest stories appearing within new narratives between the 11th and 13th centuries, according to Archibald:

The texts I am thinking of include the legend of Judas, which makes him commit patricide and then incest before betraying Christ; the legend of Gregorius, product of sibling incest who marries his own mother, but after years of rigorous penance finally becomes a much respected pope; the legend of St Albanus, product of father-daughter incest, who marries his mother, does penance with both his parents but kills them when they relapse into sin, and after further penance dies a holy man; the exemplary stories about women who sleep with their sons, and bear children (whom they sometimes kill), but refuse to confess until the Virgin intervenes to save them; the legends of the incestuous begetting of Roland by Charlemagne and of Mordred by Arthur; and finally the Incestuous Father romances about calumniated wives, which resemble Chaucer's Man of Law's Tale except that the heroine's adventures begin when she runs away from home to escape her father's unwelcome advances. – p. 2

I mean... that last bit sounds eerily quite close to what we have going on with Petyr Baelish and Sansa Stark. But I digress. What I'm trying to say is that from a medieval and classical standpoint... GRRM is not unique in his exploration of the incest motif, far from it.

Sophocles, Ovid, Hartmann von Aue, Thomas Malory, etc., "what draws you to incest?"

Faulkner + The Sound and the Fury, and more!

Moving on to more modern influences though, when talking about the writing ethos at the heart of his work, GRRM has famously quoted William Faulker:

His mantra has always been William Faulkner’s comment in his Nobel prize acceptance speech, that only the “human heart in conflict with itself… is worth writing about”. [source]

I’ve never read any Faulker, so I did just a quick search on “Faulkner and incest” and I pulled up this article on JSTOR, called Faulkner and the Politics of Incest (1998). Apparently, Faulkner explores the incest motif in at least five novels, therefore it was enough of a distinctive theme in his work to warrant academic analysis. In this journal article, Karl F. Zender notes that:

[...] incest for Faulkner always remains tragic [...] – p. 746

Ah, we can see a bit of running theme here, can't we? But obviously, GRRM (one would hope) doesn’t just appreciate Faulkner’s writing for his extensive exploration of incest. This quote possibly sums up the potential artistic crossover between the two:

Beyond each level of achieved empathy in Faulkner's fiction stands a further level of exclusion and marginalization. – pp. 759–60

To me, the above parallels somewhat GRRM’s own interest in outcasts, in personal struggle (which incest also fits into):

I am attracted to bastards, cripples and broken things as is reflected in the book. Outcasts, second-class citizens for whatever reason. There’s more drama in characters like that, more to struggle with. [source]

Interestingly, however, this essay on Faulkner also connects his interest in the incest motif with the romantic poets, such as Percy Bysshe Shelley and Lord Byron:

As Peter Thorslev says in an important study of romantic representations of incest, " [p]arent-child incest is universally condemned in Romantic literature...; sibling incest, on the other hand, is invariably made sympathetic, is sometimes exonerated, and, in Byron's and Shelley's works, is definitely idealized.” – p. 741

Faulkner, "what draws you to incest?" ... I mean, that article gives some good explanations, actually.

Lord Byron, Manfred + The Bride of Abydos

Which brings us onto GRRM interest in the Romantics:

I was always intensely Romantic, even when I was too young to understand what that meant. But Romanticism has its dark side, as any Romantic soon discovers... which is where the melancholy comes in, I suppose. I don't know if this is a matter of artistic influences so much as it is of temperament. But there's always been something in a twilight that moves me, and a sunset speaks to me in a way that no sunrise ever has. [source]

I'm already in the process of writing a long meta about the influence of Lord Byron in ASOIAF, specifically examining this quote by GRRM:

The character I’m probably most like in real life is Samwell Tarly. Good old Sam. And the character I’d want to be? Well who wouldn’t want to be Jon Snow — the brooding, Byronic, romantic hero whom all the girls love. Theon [Greyjoy] is the one I’d fear becoming. Theon wants to be Jon Snow, but he can’t do it. He keeps making the wrong decisions. He keeps giving into his own selfish, worst impulses. [source]

Lord Byron, "what draws you to—", oh, um, right. Nevermind.

I'm not going to repeat myself here, but it's worth noting that there is a clear through line between GRRM and the Romantic writers, besides perhaps melancholic "temperament"... and it's incest.

But look, is choosing to explore the incest motif...well, a choice? Yeah, and an uncomfortable one at that, but it’s obvious that that is what GRRM is doing. I think it’s frankly a bit naive of some people to argue that GRRM would never do Jonsa because it’s pseudo-incest and therefore morally repugnant, no ifs, no buts. I’m sorry, as icky as it may be to our modern eyes, GRRM has set the president for it in his writing with the Targaryens and the Lannister twins.

The difference with them is that they knowingly commit incest, basing it in their own sense of exceptionalism, and there are/will be bad consequences — this arguably parallels the medieval narratives in which incest always ends badly, unless some kind of real penance is involved. For Jon and Sansa, however, the Jonsa argument is that they will choose not to commit incest, despite a confused attraction, and then will be rewarded in the narrative through the parentage reveal, a la Byron’s The Bride of Abydos. The Targaryens and Lannisters, in several ways excluding the incest (geez the amount of times I’ve written incest in this post), are foils for the Starks, and in particular, Jon and Sansa. Exploring the incest motif has been on the cards since the very beginning — just look at that infamous "original" outline — regardless of whether we personally consider that an interesting writing choice, or a morally inexcusable one.

Word of advice, or rather, warning... don't think you can catch me out with these kinds of questions. I have access to a university database, so if I feel like procrastinating my real academic work, I can and will pull out highly researched articles to school you, lmao.

But you know, thanks for the ask anyway, I guess.

[adhd-merlin]

merlin's personality type (mbti)

Post inspired by my own poll, which was in turn sort of inspired by a post calling Gwaine and Merlin "extrovert bisexuals". This baffled me at the time because, to me, Merlin was obviously an introvert. But when I stopped to think about it, it wasn't actually all that obvious. 

As I mentioned previously in my own tags, I think you could make a decent argument for either Extrovert Merlin or Introvert Merlin. After some flip-flopping, I think I've gone back to my original position (for now). Introvert Merlin still feels right.

Why, you didn't ask?

Below I ramble about MBTI types despite actually knowing very little about the whole system. Read at your own risk.

(I want to clarify that I don't think there's anything scientific about MBTI classification. I like to think about it in the same way I would try to sort a character into a Hogwarts house. It's just fun.)

Since it was proving tricky to pinpoint Merlin's position on the Introversion/Extraversion spectrum, I decided to first narrow it down to a few MBTI types that might suit his character.

The 16 MBTI personalities can be divided into four “macro-categories” (known as “temperaments”):

Guardians

Artisans

Rationals

Idealists

To me Merlin obviously belongs in the "Idealists" group, which would make "NF" the "core" of his type (xNFx). This leaves us with two orientations still to be defined: "Extroversion vs Introversion" and "Judging vs Perceiving".

(The 4 MBTI dimensions)

Potentially, Merlin could be an:

INFP – The Mediator

ENFP – The Campaigner

INFJ – The Advocate

ENFJ – The Protagonist

Judging vs Perceiving

One thing I find interesting about Merlin is his decision-making process.

There are some momentous decisions that Merlin spends a considerable time agonising over – for example, whether to kill Morgana or, later on, Mordred – but once he's made a choice, he tends to actually be quite inflexible about it.

Seriously, good luck stopping the little guy once he's decided that something Must Be Done.

“Don't try and stop me, because...you can't.” (The Wicked Day, 4x03)

(That's right, Gaius. Fucking deal with it.)

Merlin will BULLDOZE his way to his goal regardless of anyone's opinion, sometimes even in the face of actual evidence suggesting this might actually be a Bad Idea™.

There is one significant occasion in which Merlin backtracks after having made a huge choice, and it's when he resolves to save Morgana's life after an accident he involuntarily caused (her fall down some stairs) left her deadly injured.

I'll come back to the reasons behind Merlin's change of mind later. What's interesting to notice is that, even in this case, once Merlin’s made his decision he sticks to it quite stubbornly.

He has to ask Kilgharrah for help to heal Morgana and his exchange with him, in case you don’t remember, goes something like this:

Kilgharrah: Merlin don't this is a terrible idea

Merlin: JUST FUCKING DO IT

This stubbornness – or better yet, inflexibility – makes me lean towards Judging rather than Perceiving as Merlin's preferred mental function.

While it's true that Merlin sometimes defers making a decision until it's no longer possible (see: freeing Kilgharrah), which is superficially similar to the way Perceivers prefer to keep their options open for as long as they can, Merlin doesn’t do it to see if new information might come up and help him make a better choice. He only needs time to internally evaluate the decision and consider how it aligns with his moral values.

Once a choice is made, Merlin can act very impulsively – as I've joked about here – and is very reluctant to deviate from the plan, which is typical of "Judger" types.

I also think this becomes especially apparent during the whole Mordred situation. Merlin never really pauses to take Mordred's actual actions into account when deciding whether or not he poses a threat to Arthur – despite Gaius trying to at least make him consider that Mordred might not mean the king any harm. Once Merlin decides that Morden is dangerous and needs to go, there's no turning back (not until it's too late).

Extroversion vs Introversion

(A typical introvert, according to most people.)

Merlin tends to make decisions based on his own values and feelings first. Yes, he will consult others in moments of doubt – like Gaius or Kilgharrah – but his first instinct and tendency is to do what feels right to him even when it's not the wisest or most logical course of action based on the facts at his disposal.

(Incidentally, I find this interesting when compared to Arthur, who – in my opinion – turns to others for counsel far more readily [Merlin, Gwen, Agravaine] and gives more weight to the advice he receives. Arthur’s actually more open and flexible than Merlin when presented with evidence that contradicts his worldview – see his attitude to magic at different points in the show, perhaps most notably in episode 5x05, when he decides to return to the Disir.)

Merlin's decision-making progress is very much inward focused, which makes me think of an Introvert rather than an Extrovert.

I'm thinking of Introvert vs Extrovert (or Extravert) in a Jungian sense here, which is to say, not (just) how someone interacts with others and how social interaction might drain or energise them – quite a subjective metric* – but rather whether they have a tendency to turn inwards or outwards to process information and react to external stimuli.

Or, in Jung's own words, whether someone is "more influenced by environmental influences or more influenced by subjective factors".

An introverted consciousness can be well aware of external conditions, but is not motivated by them. The extreme introvert responds primarily to internal impressions. (x)

In this specific sense, I think Merlin acts more as an Introvert than an Extrovert, which would make his MBTI personality type “INFJ”.

INFJ – The Advocate

INFJs are also known as Advocates, Protectors or (rather aptly, in Merlin's case) Counsellors.

I won’t go into a description of this personality type here – like I said I’m no expert, and you can Google it just as easily as I can. 

I’ll just highlight a few INFJ traits that I think are very relevant to Merlin.

Once they have formed an intuition about something, INFJs tend to stick to it very tightly, often to the point of being single-minded in their focus. INFJs are sometimes viewed as stubborn and unyielding. (x)

Because the INFJ has such strong intuitive capabilities, they trust their own instincts above all else. This may result in an INFJ's stubbornness and tendency to ignore other people's opinions. (x)

Something typical of INFJs is also having strong "hunches" (what Arthur would call "a funny feeling"). They are very much a "mystic" or "visionary" type.

INFJs have uncanny insight into people and situations. They get "feelings" about things and intuitively understand them. (x)

Of course, much of Merlin’s intuition is based on magic, but that isn't always the case.

When Gwen Comes Back Wrong™ from the Dark Tower, Merlin can sense she isn't quite the same. When Gaius asks him to elaborate, however, he is unable to articulate exactly why he feels that way, because there is nothing obviously different about Gwen.

MERLIN: Have you noticed anything about Gwen of late? GAIUS: Nothing unusual. Why? MERLIN: I'm not sure exactly. GAIUS: Something she’s said? Something she's done? MERLIN: No. It's nothing in particular. (A Lesson in Vengeance, 5x07)

I'd like to point out that 1. Merlin looks especially hot in this scene, 2. his "funny feeling" has nothing to do with magic here. In fact, it takes him stalking Gwen and digging for evidence to discover that she is conspiring with Morgana.

Advocates tend to carry around a sense – whether conscious or not – of being different from most people. With their rich inner lives and their deep, abiding desire to find their life purpose, they don’t always fit in with those around them. (...) Many Advocates feel that their life has a unique purpose – a mission that they were put onto this earth to fulfill. For people with this personality type, one of the most rewarding aspects of life is seeking out this purpose – and then, once they’ve found it, striving to do it justice. (x)

Merlin's search for purpose is one of his main drivers (if not the main one). He almost immediately asks Gaius if he knows why he was born with magic and is quite heartbroken when Gaius can't offer a satisfying answer. After Kilgharrah tells him about the prophecy that concerns him and Arthur, Merlin throws himself into his destiny wholeheartedly, readily adopting it as his life's purpose.

Another INFJ characteristic which I think fits Merlin’s character quite well is that INFJs are harmony-seekers and deeply concerned about others’ feelings.

We see it at times in Merlin’s interactions with Gaius – although the two of them have their disagreements, and Merlin can be quite vocal about his opinion, Merlin's first instinct is usually to keep secret anything that might upset or worry Gaius too much.

For example, when Gaius earnestly pleads with Merlin not to meet with Finna (The Kindness of Strangers, episode 5x10), Merlin gives an evasive answer rather than confronting him, despite having already made his decision.

Being at odds with Gaius is truly distressing to Merlin – as shown in episode 3x09 (Love in the Time of Dragons), where Merlin's dejection after an argument with Gaius is evident enough for Arthur to notice and try to offer his advice.

Although INFJs rely primarily on Introverted Intuition (their dominant function) this is supported by Extroverted Feeling, their auxiliary function.

Extraverted Feeling is the secondary function in INFJs. Deeply concerned with the energy, moods, and feelings of others, INFJs have deep insights into people and situations and make decisions based on how they will affect people. (x)

In stressful situations, an INFJ might try to rely on emotions when making decisions, especially if it means pleasing other people. (x)

I think the best example of the above trait is Merlin deciding to save Morgana’s life in episode 3x05 (The Crystal Cave) after his initial decision to let her die. He does not do this because of any new evidence or information – he still has every reason to believe Morgana poses a threat to the king and kingdom, if not immediately at least in the near future – but because he's witnessed how her imminent death is affecting those he cares about (in this case, Arthur and Gwen).

It could be argued that Merlin’s choice not to reveal his secret to Arthur is also partly motivated by his Extraverted Feeling tendencies rather than just self-preservation.

"I didn't want to put you in that position" – he tells Arthur – again, showing a keen awareness of other people's feelings and a desire to maintain social harmony.

You can read more about the INFJ personality type here:

Portrait of an INFJ and INFJ & Relationships

INFJ Personality

INFJ: Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging

----------------------------------------

*I've stumbled upon this article which elaborates on cognitive Extraversion/Introversion, as opposed to introversion and extraversion as they are commonly understood: Typing Tutorial

[epic-sorcerer]

Arthur for the character ask, please

Thank you :D @tolkienlockian

Also this turned into a huge rant bc I was feeling hangry when I wrote this and I can’t talk about Arthur without talking about hwo incompetent the writers are. So uh get ready

First impression: he’s a dick obviously. Super annoying. Classic rich white boy who says “do you know who my ✨ FATHER ✨ is???” But he has this way about him that’s sort of…lessens the edge? I think it’s bc Arthur is framed as young and ignorant, so the viewer assumes taht Arthur will grow into the exact opposite of how he appears now. So when he is saying or doing something bigoted, yes it does hurt, but there is a sort of optimism there. But the general feeling of “ugh this shit again I have it suffer through before he changes”

Impression now: Arthur didn’t change much :/ at least not enough in my opinion. I genuinely think season one is the best bc of this reason. Because there are amazing moments where Arthur saves Merlin’s life and shows humility and genuine sense of justice, regardless of their religion(case in point, mordred episode). And it feels like it’s all thrown away in favor of the writers keeping him in his rich white boy persona. At least in season one, it makes sense for Arthur’s development to eb and flow a bit, but thsi is far too extreme for a satisfying narrative to happen the whole show. One step forward, two steps back. I honestly feel that if Arthur was a real person, he would have grown so much. And so I often feel like I don’t know Arthur at all, bc it seams like it’s my responsibility to pick and chose what is actually “cannon” based on what I think is probable in my opinion. Witch sucks, bc I dotn feel like I really have an impression on Arthur as a character, and more of a sense of confusion. I often end up cherrypicking the most optimistic spin on Arthur, bc I want to believe what Merlin believes as a veiwer who is supposed to root for the main character and his cause. I feel like there is a general divide among the fandom about hwat is cannon aboht arthit and what isn’t, and it’s confusing and sort of frustrating.

Favorite moment: I’d have to say favorite moment is when Arthur comforted Merlin after freya died. It shows this side of Arthur that I want to see much more of. It’s suprizing as it is heartwarming when Arthur showed so much emotional intelligence wheb he knew Merlin was upset. THIS. THIS should be why Arthur deserves Merlin’s devotion. Not jsut merlins blissful fantasies of a world where merlisn not scared of Arthur one day wanting him dead. I’m sorry Am I getting too dark? But anyways, the best part was that it was successful. Merlin smiled and laughed. He got a moment of happiness to distract him from his grief.

Idea for a story: Arthur learns about Merlin’s magic in the dragon lord ep. Think about it. Arthur overhears Merlin’s conversation with his father before he died, Arthur stays quiet about it all the way back home bc he’s so completely stunned. And it gives him ample time to thing about things, especially bc Merlin probably wouldn’t want to talk much anyway. Even though Arthur’s pretty oblivious, I think he’d know that this really isn’t the time for bringing more drama into this about merljnscmagic. When Merlin is preparing Arthur for his battle w kilgara, Merlin picks up a sword and Arthur sees how determined Merlin is and alwyas was. And Arthur tells Merlin that he knows about Merlin’s power and that he’s literally their only hope. Dragon fight same as before BUT Arthur is secretly consious during wheb melrin sends away kilgara. Boom. Done. Not only dose Arthur know about Merlin’s magic, but it is done in the most charitable way possible. Merlin will only be shown in his best and most compassionate light, showing Arthur taht Merlin is the same Merlin he alwyas was.

Unpopular option: framing Arthur getting body shamed and being told to eat less is very bad actually and I genuinely don’t care how horrible he is to be around. No one deserves that and it’s sick it was portrayed as ok to young kids watching. Same to when Merlin sexually harassed him in the aithusia episode. A lot of wierd noncon shit happens to Arthur and it’s fucking sick. No wonder he’s such a bitch to be around.

Favorate relationship: merthur, although idk if anyones suprized. It’s hard not to love the pairing tbh. Too biseuxal to not love em

Favorite headcanon: definitely dyslexic!arthur, although @tolkienlockian definitely knows that by now lol. I would go on a huge rant about it but I already started a thred so I won’t

[sarabehaveokay]

It always breaks my heart when i

Think about bbc Merlin ending

and that one of Merlin’s greatest fear was not being found out he was a sorcerer but it’s that Arthur would fear and hate him after finding out. But when Arthur did find out - sure he was in disbelief and that fear was a bit there (bcs of the stigma around it) - he was hurt.

Hurt that Merlin kept something so huge a secret from him after all these years, the trials and tribulations he thought they’ve found a brother in each other. But by keeping it a secret, everything began crumbling for him; the question “who is this guy I thought was my friend?” starts taking over his mind because if he could hide this, what else is he hiding?

Hurt that Merlin couldn’t trust him enough to share this part of his life with when when he knew every part of Arthur’s.

He must’ve thought that had Merlin told him earlier, the war could’ve been avoided. He would still have Mordred by his side and wouldn’t be forced to face him in battle. He could’ve made some sort of agreement with Morgana where magic and Camelot can exist peacefully but it was all too little too late. He was dying but Merlin insists he could be saved. Arthur doesn’t think so but he also knew Merlin needed more time.

[isleofdarkness]

I would like to give every single one of the mim kiddos their comfort food and a weighted blanket in a nice small dark space with only one door

Not to be dramatic but every single Mim kid would now kill for you. I hope you realize this means I'm gonna tell you everyone's comfort food.

Maverick; rose hips. There are climbing roses at Dragon Hall and she used to take breaks from studying all the time to eat the rose hips. And Facilier never got angry at her for eating all of the rose hips. In fact, he started bringing in rose hip jams and jellies from the woods and giving it to her on toast so that she wouldn't need to go out of her way. It was one of her first good childhood memories.

Mordred; chokecherries. As a child, fae would sneak out all the time and break into Grimhilde's overgrown garden to see the stars, and fae would always snack on the chokecherries growing there. Fae thinks of it as faer first taste of freedom

Mara; chocolate, preferably dark. Like Riah she has a huge sweet tooth, and dark chocolate was the only sweet she could have for more of her life because Mim kept it for when they got migraines or PMS. She'd sneak down to the kitchen and eat as much of it as she possibly could.

Maddy; apple chips. Those were the closest thing she's ever had to a snack and they were always a reward for a job well done. They taste like her grandmother's approval.

Molly; tiny egg salad sandwiches. Only the tiny ones, the big ones don't have the same vibe

Malachi; coffee beans. He likes to just eat straight coffee beans. Do not judge him.

Malcolm; dandelion roots. After he helped Evie she was teaching him about plants and mentioned how pretty much every part of the dandelion could be eaten, pulling one out of the soil to show him which parts. Upon hearing the roots could be eaten, he tugged off one of the roots and popped it into his mouth. Evie laughed at him and told him that he was supposed to wash it off first, and her laughter was one of the most beautiful sounds he'd ever heard.

Malvolia- fire cakes. Fire cakes are basically mixing flour and water, putting it on a flat stone, and putting that stone into a fire until the "cakes" "bake." It started as a survival trick but she put so much effort into telling Morwenna that these things were the best ever (Morwenna, like children are, was picky but this was all they had) that Malvolia actually started to love them.

Morwenna- fire cakes because Malvolia loves them and it's something the two share.

Mace- clover. Mace saw the bunnies eating clover, decided to try it, and now he loves it.

Madrigal and Morpheus- salicornia. The two love having the freedom to explore and find edible plants. Salicornia was the first plant Uma taught them so it has a special place in their hearts

Mage- wild onion

Mallory- wild carrot

Mavis- anything with peanut butter

Maxine- pinecones purely for the looks of horror

Mystica- tuna

Morrigan- bread dipped in olive oil

Morticia- elderberries

Mildred- literally any food comforts it

Mabuz- kudzu. Mabuz is the only thing saving the Isle from Death By Kudzu

Midnight- black-eyed susans

Michael- queen anne's lace

Malacoda- wild lettuce

Mora- wild mint

Maddox- Irish mint

[xviruserrorx]

Title- "You Always Hurt The Ones You Love"

For @flashfictionfridayofficial & a huge thank you to all the lovely mods who run the event!

Fandom: BBC Merlin

Prompt: "It Doesn't hurt"

Relationship(s): Daegal & Merlin

Rating: Gen

Word Count: 1,115 (I'm sorry it got long!)

Merlin lightly shook his head, "No, Daegal this—" his hand lingered over his wrist before all the pieces connected themselves. He shifted his hand and matched it to the pattern on Daegal's wrist. A large blotched lined up where his palm laid and medium-sized indentation prints matched up with his fingers tips.

"Merlin it's not—"

"Did I hurt you?"

Continue reading below or over on Ao3

The one thing that Daegal learned to always be prepared for on the list of odd things that seemed to happen around Camelot, was unplanned attacks. Granted assassinations were wiggled in there every so often along with odd magical occurrences.

But assassinations usually just involved Arthur and a very exasperated Merlin, while the magical occurrences also involved a very exasperated Merlin. Granted some hidden anger also if he and Mordred were involved in those magical occurrences—but that wasn't the point.

As it was, Merlin parented him like he was twelve, though he couldn't blame him. He was always seeming to get into things or cause trouble that made Merlin more overwhelmed with things than he already was.

Yet this time he could say with all absolute honesty that it wasn't his fault, but when things came around he couldn't help but feel guilty.

The sun was high in the sky as the knights were set up in Arthur's adamant training. He was busy taking his time switching Mordred's long sword out to his normal one he wielded at his side. Things were as normal as they could be in Camelot… well, all until the next thing he knew the knights all jumped into ready as he was pushed behind Mordred.

The field erupted into chaos, people ran to take cover while Daegal tried to find his grounding in what was going on. He all but froze as an unfamiliar knight not in Camelot's colours charged towards him. He considered using the sword clutched to his chest, but knew better out of the number of times he'd hurt himself simply holding Mordred's swords and not even wielding them.

In instinct, he flinched and immediately held up his hands in front of him. He heard a faint scream before his wrist was grabbed and yanked, pulling him out of the way as Merlin's magic stopped the enemy knight in pursuit.

He stumbled as Merlin's grip loosened from around his wrist.

"Daegal, are you alright?" Merlin's voice was laced in panic and a suppressed comfort for the boy.

He quickly nodded, "I'm okay."

Merlin quickly checked him over before he was already away across the field helping the rest of the knights. And like normal Camelot, things went back to normal shortly after. Those alive were taken down to the cells while others came about to dispose of the bodies. Fallen items were picked back up and things resumed to their daily actions, though the guards were just on extra high alert for the rest of the day.

Daegal had gotten used to Camelot and in turn he had also gotten used to people pulling or yanking him out of the way for things. He attracted danger just as bad as Merlin and all the knights did but the only difference was he didn't wield strong magic or a sword. Instead, he usually was pushed behind someone or out of the way.

He had gotten bruises and small cuts in the past from the trouble he would somehow get himself into. Though he knew afflicted the people who caused those bruises and small cuts were only trying to prevent more damage and him getting hurt. But he knew not everyone saw it that way.

The constant apologies he had received from Mordred went on far too long when the knight realized he had accidentally nicked him with his sword in a scrimmage with some bandits. He had saved Daegal's life, yet all he could do was blame himself for the small scratch on his cheek that healed in a matter of days. He soon learned not to say anything about these small injuries that he knew had no ill intent behind them.

The faint sting had stayed on his wrist even though he had tried to ignore it. The once red mark shifted with the day as he awoke the next morning with a faint dark tender bruise on his wrist. He had gotten dressed and pulled his sleeves all the way down, thankful for his baggy clothes as he greeted Merlin for breakfast.

He kept one arm tucked under him at the table while he ate with the other, every so often tugging his sleeve up over the start of his palm to prevent it from slipping down. He remained conscious of his actions until they were done and he was handing over his bowl, allowing his sleeve to slip up for a brief second.

"What is that from?" Merlin's eyebrows were scrunched up with worry and curiosity.

He quickly pulled down his sleeve and shook his head, "It's nothing."

"Daegal."

He paused in his steps at Merlin's tone.

Merlin held out his hand, "Let me see, please?"

He exhaled before handing over his arm and letting Merlin pull up his sleeve and examine the darkened area.

"What happened?"

"It was from yesterday, probably when I fell." He tried to shrug it off.

Merlin lightly shook his head, "No, Daegal this—" his hand lingered over his wrist before all the pieces connected themselves. He shifted his hand and matched it to the pattern on Daegal's wrist. A large blotched lined up where his palm laid and medium-sized indentation prints matched up with his fingers tips.

"Merlin it's not—"

"Did I hurt you?"

He pulled his arm away, "It's fine."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Merlin continued, his voice hurt and expression twisted in pain.

Daegal sighed, "because I knew you were going to react like this."

"Like what?"

"Blaming yourself," he answered, "even though you did nothing wrong. I would be hurt far worse if you didn't pull me out of the way when you did."

He saw some of his words take away small pieces of Merlin's guilt, but a large majority remained. Guilt that he knew was going to beat Merlin up for the rest of the day no matter what he did.

"Look, I'm fine," he moved his wrist around, "it doesn't hurt." He lied through his teeth and he knew Merlin didn't believe him. He closed the space between them and wrapped his arms around Merlin.

The older man quickly reciprocated the touch as an arm wrapped around his shoulders and his other hand came to the back of Daegal's head. "I'm sorry."

"You didn't do it on purpose," Daegal stressed his words, "It was an accident."

"Still," Merlin pulled back from the hug. His hand came up to cup his face, "even if it is an accident, I love you and care about you, Daegal. I never want to hurt you."

He knew Merlin meant every word. Despite not being related in some way or fashion, Merlin was more family to him than he had, had for a long time. Someone to say he loved unconditionally despite the circumstances of how he ended up in his care.

He felt his eyes water as he was pulled back to Merlin's chest. "I know."

[cantillat-moved]

@more-than-a-princess​ Because you know I have absolutely zero shame: 26, 27, 34, 35, 36, 37. Enjoy!

Mᴜɴᴅᴀʏ ᴀsᴋs!

No shame at all. 

26. What’s a ship you really like rping?

Let me see... Besides from the absolute joy that is Shirou x Sonia with you? Individually, it is fun for me to explore this sweet middle ground that Shirou is starting to become jaded and cold because of the Tragedy, detaching himself from emotions when needed in order to do what is needed, halfway to become closer to Archer. And it is also enjoyable to watch Sonia’s own personal journey, her demons and struggles over the things she had done. As an interaction, I love how much they bounce on each other -- the pre-Despair is like planting the seeds of something with horrifying consequences... And then there is hope for the future. 

I also love writing Archer and Rider with @maledicti-oculi​ . A hero who don’t think of himself as pure and noble, someone battered who had come to resent, hating humanity at some point, almost driven to despair --- and a monster of the legend, tormented by the gods, killed by a hero and was never saved. Star-crossed lovers that will keep bouncing on each other throughout time immemorial, never able to have a happy ending and, sometimes, he would have to kill her in order to prevent the real monster from emerging....

Next there is Angra with Sophie, our dear @madamhatter​ . We don’t have a lot of it on tumblr, but our 1x1 server is loaded with good angst. Bickering, bantering. Misunderstandings and misconceptions, the embodiment of all of the World’s Evils and the seamstress. It can be volatile, but soon as they overstep each other boundaries they take a step back and bring each other up, understanding and working out. It is so weird when a demon can be more decent than most people that Sophie met in her life.

Even if they aren’t exactly currently dating , just pinning, Muramasa and Mordred with @gemsofchaldea​ is an absolute blast! The unpredictable Knight of Rebellion with the blacksmith famed for having the temperament of an oni? It started as a crack when we got this love potion meme and I was wondering which would be the most chaotic pair and holy crap it was more fun than we anticipated! I’m also looking forward for more Archer and Da Vinci fun with @theuniversalwoman​ too.

A huge shootout to  @pcrdiseseekers​ for killing me whenever either Shirou or Archer interact with Saber. Jazz is literally Satan.  And also a huge one to @lunaetis​ and our Rin and Archer (banter is their love language) and Tifa with Rufus.

27. What’s a ship you would never rp? For what reason? 

I’m not big on abusive ships, or pedo. Or incest. Or dubcon. Everything else, as long there’s chemistry I’m down for it. Oh, and not a big fan of cheating (but poli is ok as long it is consensual on all parts)

34. NSFW rp — yes or no? Why?

Honestly? At some point I lost interest. There was a time I had 13 active nsfw threads. Yeah, and they were all multi-paras. Nowadays? Maybe on 1x1 servers on discord, but idk if I would do it on tumblr.

35. Do you ever read other people’s NSFW rp threads? (be honest!)

Can’t remember the last time I did. So yeah. Maybe if I have the curiosity, but nothing recently.

36.  Do you ever read rp threads you aren’t involved in? What type of thread does it usually have to be to interest you?

I usually like reading the threads that some of my closer partners are in, like yours and Jassi. I also enjoy watching certain rpers from afar, like Bear. I just like seeing amazing people having fun and enjoying themselves, either it be via angst, fluff or something else. 

37. If you do read threads you aren’t in, do you usually let the other authors know, or keep it under your hat?

Normally I keep under my hat because I don’t want to be creepy. 👉👈 Only sometimes when it is a smaller dash thing and everyone is playing around then sometimes I have my muse commenting, as you know. But most of the time I keep it to myself.

[panharmonium]

@once-and-future-gay​ asked: 

how do you think will would react to how merlin treats mordred were he alive??

Okay, I LOVE this question.

And my honest answer to it is that I think if Will were alive, things would never have gotten to a point where Merlin felt like he needed to treat Mordred like that in the first place.

(more details under the cut, because this got long!)

The reasons why Merlin ends up in a place where he is able to make those kinds of cold decisions about Mordred are obviously super complex.  But in the end, I think most of it comes back to the fact that by Season 5, Merlin has come to see himself as a tool.  The ultimate fallout of Merlin being constantly told about his role in Arthur's life is that he comes to see himself as an instrument of destiny, not a person in his own right.  His life isn't his own.  He has no inherent worth, no inherent self, just a purpose to fulfill.  His life was always earmarked for someone else.  His value, in his own mind, is inextricably tied up with whether or not he can succeed in his mission.  He doesn’t think he is allowed to have more than that.  He doesn’t think he deserves to have more than that, frankly - every time he tries, something terrible happens.

This isn’t the case, earlier in the show.  In the early days, Merlin still has hopes and dreams for himself.  He still longs for a day where he can be known for who and what he is.  He still chafes at having to hide.  He still thinks he deserves better than what he has.  He's still invested in his own life, as a person who is worth something just by virtue of existing.   But as time goes on, those feelings start to slip away.  He's still fighting, but for other people, not himself.  He stops asking Gaius, "When do I get to reveal myself?"  He doesn't expect that to ever happen now.  He starts defining his worth as how well he can fulfill his “destiny,” and stops seeing himself as a person in his own right.  He's been told so many times that his life belongs to someone else - that his only reason for living is to serve a higher purpose - that he now believes it.  And that makes him more willing to do things (in service of that destiny) that he would have balked at when he was younger, before he lost his sense of selfhood, before he became just a tool to ensure that events unfolded as they were “supposed” to.

In the earlier seasons, we see Merlin defy Kilgharrah's directives on multiple occasions.  He saves Mordred.  He forces Kilgharrah to teach him how to heal Morgana, even after she's been revealed to be a traitor.  He's not yet willing to do things he feels uncomfortable about to bring about “destiny.”  He still thinks things can be better than that.  But as time goes on (read: after Will dies, and especially once Lancelot is also dead) Merlin becomes so isolated from anything that isn’t The Mission.  He has no “real” friends anymore.  Which, as I've discussed before, isn't to say that he doesn't have meaningful, caring relationships with other people, just that every one of those relationships is, for him, undergirded by the knowledge that the friendship is conditional - aka, “if they actually knew me, they would hate me.”  He has nobody to meet his most elemental need for connection - to be seen and loved for who he is - and by the later seasons, Merlin has been deprived of that kind of care for so long that he just stops trying to find it anywhere anymore.  Every time he has had somebody to love him like that, it has gone horribly, terribly wrong, and by the time we reach S5, Merlin just feels like it's better for everyone if he stops feeling these "selfish" desires for real companionship and just focuses on the job he's meant to do, no matter how painful it is for him.  It doesn't matter if he's miserable, as long as he's be able to bring about the better world that has been promised.

Lancelot is able to serve as a buffer against this, briefly, while he’s alive.  His presence is a huge part of why Merlin is so happy in the S4 opener.  Finally, Merlin has a friend to know him, to share his burdens, and everything is changing for the better.  Arthur is basically running the kingdom, and it's only a matter of time before he actually becomes king.  Traditions are already changing, by Arthur's command - now Camelot's most respected knights are commoners!  The Crown Prince is publicly courting a servant!  This is a moment where Merlin really feels that the moment he has been waiting for is right around the corner.  He thinks they're almost there.  He has so much hope, at the beginning of Season 4.  

And then Lancelot dies - for Arthur - and everything starts spiraling.  Lancelot dies on the altar of Merlin's destiny the same way Will does, and that breaks something in Merlin.  He stops trying to make things better for himself.  “Destiny” is going to take everything from him anyway.  He gives up and accepts that the only worthwhile thing he can actually do with his life is to make sure that Arthur lives to create the better world that has been promised, and that he himself is always going to be alone.

And then Merlin is alone, for the next three years.  And that's who he is when we meet him in S5 - disillusioned, desperately isolated, all of his personal needs subsumed for far too long.  The only thing keeping him afloat is his mission, and he will do anything to make sure it succeeds, now, because if he starts doubting it, then that means that everything terrible that has happened has been for nothing.    

And this is really why I feel that having Will around would change things, to a degree where I honestly can't imagine we'd ever wind up in a position where Merlin would have been self-abnegating like this for years, or would have allowed Kara's execution or told Arthur to reject magic just to ensure that Mordred would die (TO BE CLEAR - I'm not putting the blame on Merlin for what Arthur decides to do in 5.05.  Arthur's a grown man; he's seen enough to have more nuanced opinions on sorcery by now).

Will is just....I know he was only in the show briefly, but his presence in Merlin's life was so much more important than that one episode, and his ABSENCE is more disastrous than is made apparent on the surface of things.  Will is Merlin’s anchor.  He gives Merlin something that Merlin cannot access from anybody else, Lancelot included.  He is the only person in Merlin’s orbit who is not somehow connected/beholden to Arthur and Camelot.  All of Merlin's other friends become knights, or become queen, or are deeply invested in Merlin's destiny and the emergence of Albion (eg, Gaius).  Every single relationship Merlin has is with people who are committed to Arthur and Camelot in the same way that Merlin himself is.  He has nobody to tell him “this is wrong; you're sacrificing too much,” because everyone he knows is on the same page as him.  All of his companions are sworn to die for the realm.  Will is the only person whose existence reminds Merlin “you mattered BEFORE you went to Camelot and got this magical homework assignment from the gods.  You were just as much of a person back then.” 

Will is the only friend Merlin has who links him back to his original self, who connects him to who he was before destiny buried its hooks into him.  Merlin in S5 has been so alone and so put upon for so long that he believes his only purpose in life is to be an implement of destiny, but Will, if he were alive, would throw a fit every time Merlin started saying things like “his life is worth a hundred of mine” or “I was born to serve [Arthur].”  Merlin might think he's a tool and that his life doesn't matter outside of its ability to usher in the new world, but Will wouldn’t tolerate that attitude.  Will would tell him you are NOT a tool; you are a person, one who likes to read and whose favorite fruit is apples and who gets the hiccups when he eats too fast.  You don't have to do everything somebody tells you to just because they told you to do it.  That's the kind of wrong-headed thinking that got my father killed.

Will would never let Merlin arrive at a spot where Merlin felt like his life and his principles were disposable or worthless in comparison to the success of the “mission.”  And Will would never let Merlin get away with doing questionable things in the name of keeping Arthur alive, either.  Will, in canon, is the person who serves as Merlin's moral compass - in 1.10, Will is the one who's telling Merlin “it is WRONG for you to consider letting all of these people die in order to keep your secret safe.”  Even Merlin's own mother won't tell him that - when she realizes that Merlin is planning to use his magic to help during the battle, she tells him not to do it, despite the fact that there is literally no way the village can defeat Kanen without Merlin's help.  She advocates for Merlin to protect his own secrets, even at the expense of other people's lives.

Will, though.  Will refuses to compromise.  Will wants Merlin to be safe, too, but not at the expense of what makes Merlin who he is.  Will KNOWS that sacrificing others for the sake of his secret isn't what Merlin really wants to do.  Will knows Merlin is better than that.  He tells Merlin to smarten up.  He tells Merlin to do the right thing.

So like - having Will alive would change things for the following two reasons: 1) Will, in canon, is the person who tells Merlin “you deserve better than this,” and 2) Will, in canon, is also the person who tells Merlin “you ARE better than this.  you can do better than this.”  I don’t think Merlin would have made the same choices with Mordred if Will had been present for the previous five seasons, because Merlin would never have fallen so far into the “i don’t remember who i used to be and i can only see one purpose for my life now” hole.  Will would not have let him get to that place.

Possibly more importantly - I honestly think if Will were alive, we might never have ended up in a position where Merlin had to make choices like that about Mordred in the first place.  Will living would change the entire story.  Now Arthur doesn’t just get to sweep the whole “oh man an Evil Sorcerer died/almost died saving my life; that really challenges my worldview; hope I don't have to think about it too hard” issue under the rug, like he does in canon.  He’d have to be confronted with that continuously, every day.  And he would not be able to just project his anti-sorcery beliefs onto Merlin like he does in canon, either - he would know that Merlin's best friend is a sorcerer, and that Merlin continues to stand by said sorcerer even after the sorcery itself has been revealed.  

In canon, Arthur and Merlin avoid this topic forever, and I think Arthur honestly tries to forget it ever happened, because it's easier for him and makes him less uncomfortable, but if Will had lived, they would have been forced to deal with that friction every day, and Arthur would have been constantly confronted by the cognitive dissonance of “sorcery is supposedly evil, but how can it be, when this guy so obviously is not?”  

Will being alive would mean Arthur had to confront his prejudices sooner, because a) I fully believe alive!Will would have eventually followed Merlin anywhere, even to Camelot, and b) once he was there, Will would absolutely have kept up the pretense of being a sorcerer.  He would never have allowed Merlin to be endangered by him abandoning the ruse.  So Arthur would have had to deal with that, and honestly, I’m not sure Camelot’s policies on magic wouldn’t have already changed by the time Mordred showed up again, in this timeline.

There’s one other thing that I want to be clear about when it comes to any question that deals with Merlin’s interactions with Mordred (or many of Merlin’s late-season decisions, to be honest).  

The way Merlin ends up dealing with Mordred is obviously something that we all are watching the screen being like "IF YOU WOULD JUST BE NICER TO HIM EVERYTHING WOULD BE OKAY."  Even before I finished Season 5, I typed up my thoughts/worries/predictions, and I said that I was concerned Merlin's behavior was going to be the thing that ultimately created the exact future with Mordred that he was trying to prevent.  We all know it's a messed up situation.

But I also personally find it absolutely imperative to recognize the unique situation Merlin is in, and that Merlin doesn't react this way to Mordred just for the hell of it, or even because he wants to.  

This is something I want to make sure I address, because when talking about the potential for alive!Will to have changed Merlin’s behavior, it’s too easy for the discussion to be framed like “Will would be able to stop Merlin from doing all those stupid/irrational things, like mistrusting Mordred,” and it’s also VERY easy for the discussion to slide into, “Everything that happens at the end of BBC Merlin happens because Merlin was so consumed by how much he cared for Arthur that he was willing to sacrifice everything to keep Arthur alive (and perhaps Will could have snapped him out of it).”  But I want to be very careful not to give either of those impressions.

There are two things that I am dead set on remembering when I think about any and all of the decisions Merlin makes, including his decisions about Mordred: first, that Merlin does not suspect/reject Mordred (or support/protect Arthur) in a vacuum.  And second, that he doesn't do either of these things solely on Kilgharrah's advice, either. 

Merlin, on a personal level, does not want to be in conflict with Mordred.  He still relates to Mordred as kin, even at the beginning of the Disir (“It won’t always be like this.  One day we will live in freedom again.”)  He LIKES Mordred, even, he tells Gaius.  But when he says so, he expresses it like this: “I like him myself - but I can't ignore what I saw.”

To get into this in a little more detail - why does Merlin struggle with Mordred in the first place?  Because he's been shown that Mordred is going to be instrumental in Arthur's death.  And why is Merlin fixated on preventing Arthur's death?  Because Merlin has been told, by multiple magical and/or godly powers, that Arthur is the key to establishing peace in Albion and returning magic to the land.

This is a non-negotiable point for me when I read things about Merlin's decision-making.  I've written plenty myself about the messed-up place Merlin gets into in S5, where keeping Arthur alive at all costs has overridden every other aspect of his better judgment, but it is ESSENTIAL to me that we recognize that this is not something that happens solely because Merlin has a personal attachment to Arthur.  He does care deeply about Arthur, obviously; he loves him - but that is NOT why Merlin in S5 is slipping into the murky waters of “save Arthur no matter what, even if it means doing things that go against my conscience.”  His decision in the Disir - any decision he makes about Mordred, quite frankly - is not made because of a selfish, personal desire to keep Arthur alive.  It is made because Merlin has been told, repeatedly, from all corners of the magical world, that keeping Arthur alive is the only way to establish peace in the world and liberate magic.  And thus, by the time S5 rolls around, Merlin will do anything to achieve this, even things that seem on the surface to be working against these goals.  He does not make his decisions because he is choosing Arthur OVER his people's liberation, but because he has been told that choosing Arthur IS the way to his people's liberation.

Merlin does not develop his obsessive fixation on keeping Arthur alive because his personal attachment to Arthur becomes so strong that he's willing to just let the rest of the world burn.  He develops it because he has been told that Arthur is the key to creating a world where all people can be free.  And it is ESSENTIAL to recognize that Merlin is not foolish for believing this, either.  He isn't just listening to some random dragon spout nonsense at him.  He has literal gods speaking to him, calling him by the name the Druids gave him and telling him his “time among men is not yet over”; he still has work to do.  Druid prophets show him the future (Mordred killing Arthur) and urge him to “alter the never-ending circle of [Arthur's] fate.”  Alator recognizes the legend Gaius speaks of as true and immediately offers Merlin his support.  Bendrui like Finna (aka the remnants of Morgana's own sect, the High Priestesses) offer Merlin the assistance of further prophecies and tell him “without you, Emrys, Arthur cannot build the world we all long for.”  The Catha pass on “ancient knowledge” about Arthur's fate that they've guarded for hundreds of years, in the hopes that it will help Merlin save Arthur’s life.  The Fisher King recognizes Merlin as Emrys and tells him “I have been waiting all these years for the arrival of a new time: the time of the Once and Future King” - and then he gives Merlin the means to enable Arthur's victory in the S3 finale.  

It's not just Kilgharrah telling Merlin about Arthur's destiny.  It's the wider magical world - and bits of the divine world, too.  Merlin is not stupid, gullible, or deluded to believe that Arthur's role in the prophesied future is true.  It IS supposed to be true, in the Merlin BBC-verse.  (And, once again, this is why the finale is, narratively speaking, garbage.  But that's a topic for another day.)

All of that said - the fact that Merlin has legitimate reasons to believe what he believes and fight for Arthur's survival does not mean that every single sacrifice he makes in the name of achieving that goal is necessarily the only way he could go about things, and that, I think, is where Will being alive would have made a difference.  Will, who loves Merlin more than life itself but does not care about Arthur or Camelot at all, would be a counterbalance to all the messaging Merlin receives about “destiny and Arthur over everything.”  Will would have pulled Merlin back from the brink, with his stubbornly honest, “All right, so you have to do this, but not like this.  Listen to yourself.  This isn't you.  This isn't the you I know.”  

I don’t think anyone else could have done that for Merlin.  Even at the very end of the show, after Merlin has been in Camelot for years, Will is still the longest-running relationship Merlin has ever had (excepting his mother, of course).  Will is the only relationship Merlin has that both predates Camelot and isn’t even slightly concerned with Arthur Pendragon’s well-being.  Will is the only one who isn’t beholden to Arthur or sworn to serve Camelot.  Will is the only person who cares about Merlin instead of Arthur, not along with Arthur.  Merlin has other people who love him, yes, definitely, but Will is the only one who says, “You, over everything else.  You are the only thing on the map for me.”   

The part Will played in Merlin’s life is not something that could be performed by somebody else.  That loss is a hole that cannot be filled, even by other people who know Merlin’s secret.  The history is unique.  Merlin can’t just grow up again with someone else.  Will was irreplaceable; the role he fulfilled in Merlin’s world was singular.  Without his influence, Merlin is perpetually off-kilter.  

Merlin needed someone like that in his life.  He needed somebody to balance out the perpetual focus on Arthur+Destiny, which all of his other relationships encouraged, to varying degrees.  The perpetual focus on Arthur+Destiny is what ultimately led Merlin to make the kind of decisions that he made with Mordred, but if Will had been around to push back on that, then I can’t imagine that things would have unfolded in the same way.

[bitsandbobsofwriting]

Do you like writing Merlin or Mordred with druid or magical tattoos? Perhaps Percival or even Leon since the druids saved him w/ the cup?

(This is #12 on This List)

This is so cool!! I'm a huge fan of like... fantasy tattoos (and just tattoos in general to be honest)

~

I'm thinking that everyone with natural born magic (Witches and Warlocks) develop them as they hone their magic. It can be stopped, and that's what Morgana does when she first visits the Druids (though she removes the spell and allows them to develop after magic is legalised, but because she started so late she doesn't have nearly as extensive ones as the others).

Merlin and Mordred allowed theirs to develop naturally (because baby Merlin and Hunith had no clue how to stop it, and baby Mordred wasn't exactly expecting to ever leave his camp when he was a child), and they're literally covered in them, BUT when they arrive in Camelot they hide them with glamours? It's easier than covering them with clothes, and safer, but when magic is legalised they remove the glamours basically immediately but just... forget to mention it until they change in front of someone or go swimming or train shirtless or something and everyone is like "😮". Leon and Elyan are super relieved because Leon has a little artistic cup of life on his shoulder blade, and Elyan has a tree (with ribbons and scraps of fabric hanging off it) over his heart, both from when they were touched by serious magic. They were kinda worried about them but had no idea who they could go to, or how to bring it up even after magic was legalised, but M+M explain everything to anyone.

Everyone is like... super intrigued by all these swirling vines and triskelions and hidden symbols, all over their chests and backs and down their arms. Merlin's even go up his neck, maybe he has a few on his face (that he still hides out of... I don't know, not wanting people to stare?) that he reveals.

~

This is really cool, and I'm so surprised I haven't really considered it before (it briefly comes up in Lord Emrys Returns, but only briefly), so thanks for the idea!!!