#to quote my friend: “the toddler is the only one who's right”

[gaywarcriminals]

[undiscovered-horizon]

i know you only uploaded it a few hours ago, but please carry on the reader accidentally summoning morpheus, im dying to know their history, and his feelings on how much time has passed <3 big fan!!

A/N: By popular demand, I'm writing a 2nd part. The quoted poem is something I was obsessed with as a kid. My mom still quotes it.

[Imagine accidentally summoning Morpheus] || [Sandman-inspired playlist]

All of it sounded like a madman's bad joke.

"Wait, hold on." You waved your hand. Hunching over the dusty box filled with remnants of your childhood, you began looking for another trinket that surely must have been there. "You mean that you are... goddamn where is it... I saw it somewhere here... Got it!" you exclaimed when you stood up with a thin, red book in your hand. "You mean that you are this funny fella?"

Your finger was tapping against the cover of a children's book. There was an illustration of a Santa Claus-like man carrying a big sack thrown over his shoulder. He was climbing a ladder to an open bedroom window. Above the picture, in fancy curvy letters, was written Grandfather Sand.

A small smile crept unto Morpheus's face. His eyes lit up vividly and you suspected that if he was any less reserved in his emotional expression, he would have laughed in your face. "Did you think he is the Sandman?"

"I didn't think the Sandman was at all," you retorted as you carelessly tossed the book on your bed. Looking once more at the pleasantly familiar illustration, the nostalgia made you recall something Morpheus had said to you a few minutes ago. "You said you know my face."

"I have visited you many times before," he stated. After a moment, he added in a quieter, defeated tone: "But you don't seem to remember."

You only shrugged your shoulders. "If I was a toddler, then no wonder. It was lifetimes ago."

Morpheus gave the room an absent once-over before staring at the box next to the two of you. Something brown and fur-like was peeking from behind dolls and plastic horses. His pale, skeletal hand reached for the mysterious object only for it to turn out to be an old, worn-out teddy bear. It still smelled of your grandmother's perfume. Sometimes you wondered what happened to him... Apparently, Terry had been safe and sound in your grandmother's basement throughout all those years.

Dream was examining the bear when he suddenly decided to make you recall something you had already forgotten you once remembered: "Maybe Spot tugged at him, tore the ear off, didn't say he's sorry?"

It was a quote - one that you had grown to know all too well. You felt as though that single line from a rhymed story allowed you to rediscover the oldest memories your brain could possibly store like you suddenly became privy to a life you had once led but not anymore. "A needle, a thread, a pair of hands, we'll mend the hurt right away," you quietly continued." You fixed Terry..." Yes, that plushy friend from your childhood did need an 'emergency surgery' once, although you could never quite recall who sew his ear back on. At some point, you even began questioning whether his little accident was even real as there was no sign of a tear whatsoever.

The memory came to you in waves like afterimages of a dream one tries to recall after waking up. It was all blurry, voices heard from miles away and sights as if seen through a dirty lens. "Yeah, I remember I used to ask to be told the same three stories over and over again and you were never frustrated with me."

"You were a great listener."

"So, how does this work? The melody plays and you just, puff, appear wherever?"

Morpheus sat Terry at the top of the dolls, plastic horses and fairytale books about fairies still residing inside the box. His bony hand lingered on the brown, matted fur of the plushie. "It was a gift." His gaze returned to you. "To a girl who just like you could not fall asleep. For decades it remained silent until that one night when I met you for the first time."

Your hand brushed against the ceramic raven inside the music box. It was quite an interesting choice of design for an item meant for children. "A magical heirloom. Sounds cool." The ghosting touch of your fingers was withheld only for you to close the enamelled lid for an unspecified amount of time. "Don't worry, I won't abuse that... privilege. I'm sure you have a lot going on anyway."

Without letting his gaze leave you, Morpheus was a little too quick to answer you. "Play it anytime you want."

His expression remained generally ambiguous but you figured it was just the way he looked. There was, however, one detail of his face that caught your attention: his eyebrows slightly raised making him appear somewhat surprised or nervous. "Is that permission or a suggestion?" you asked.

"Both."

Tagging people who were interested in a follow-up: @secretdreamlandmentality @kbrownie @lolitaisreal @thegraywitch @aralezinspace @boofy1998

[sandrockianblues]

Lately I’ve been seeing a lot of talks about the sandrock builder customization and how people been wanting more body types, although I’ve seen people being rude about it tbh, just the way talk about the female builder’s body is leaving a bad taste in my mouth. how do you feel about this?

Hi anon, thank you for asking me my opinion on this 💜💜

While it’s been more than a year of people vocalizing their desire in having sliders/ options/ different presets- only recently has the female builder’s body been complained about to the extent where I think a larger issue needs to be addressed.

Body shaming is still body shaming.

To pull some quotes I’ve seen:

“…small and childlike”

“…body types are definitely something that looks like an adult.” (In ref to Grace and Heidi bodies)

“…give us more mature body types too”

“I’m a baby.”

“…really awkward”

“Downright comical”

“…would love my builder to look more adult.”

“my builder looks like a toddler being walked to school by her husband haha.”

“I’m not a fan of looking like a child.”

“general proportions” (in ref to what the “issue” is)

“currently is kinda twigy”

And in discussion for future installments or advancements within the game:

“it’d be great if they got rid of that look.”

“I do hope they move away from it in the future.”

*this is about the female player body- I cannot speak on behalf of the male player body completely*

As someone who is personally significantly shorter than the builder myself and has a petite or smaller frame- this was very degrading to read comments of.

While I’m a huge advocate for any sort of character customization implements that can be involved such as height sliders/presets/ weight sliders/ whatever else, and I believe that you should have the right to vocalize your wants-

What I don’t believe is that it should come with mocking and criticizing the current female body of the player.

And I truly hope that this look isn’t just scrapped and gotten rid of.

Those under 5’2” are already misrepresented or just not represented enough as adults in games a large majority of the time. We often get stuck with characters that have larger or more curves than we do. Characters of average or taller height. Modelesque to curvaceous characters.

I’m not saying these physical wants for characters shouldn’t be implemented or that they should be ignored. I’m saying you can ask or wish for them without putting down those who do have smaller builds. Those without an hourglass figure or who legitimately are a foot or two shorter than the person they choose to become romantically involved with.

While this is something that me, family, friends, etc have dealt with our whole lives- those of us who have fallen on the very shorter side of the scale, I’m not going to standby and watch it be incorporated into a game that has quickly become one of my top two favorites in the past year of playing it.

Criticizing- not critiquing, there is a huge difference- the female player body as it stands right now and making harsh jokes about it is seen by those who happen upon these posts or threads and can identify with the body themselves. I know a number of short and petite people who are playing My Time at Sandrock, and if I’m being completely honest, this may be the first time we had a more comfortable experience with a character that can be customized for ourselves.

The builder is in their early 20s and also created by a small Chinese indie game company called Pathea. Think of how many of those who are more prone to those heights or body frames have been criticized alone. This game is possibly more prominent in China right now given that they have an online website we ourselves can’t translate. They’re aware of new merch and such we’ve yet to receive official news on.

Also for reference:

Yes, average height.

It may be fun to joke about how it looks to you, but for some people… this is our reality.

No, not all short people have dwarfism. No, not all petite people are just not eating enough. And yes, some of us may not have the ample assets that most women do have. And it’s something we’ve had to deal with our whole lives.

Implying that a taller height and a curvy figure or an incredible bust size is what makes a “mature” and “more adult” look is beyond insensitive. To imply that it is “what makes a girl a woman” is horrifically humbling to read.

And I do mostly see this body shaming of short or petite stature and height coming from mostly women. One cannot preach for body positivity if they continuously exclude and demoralize a body type. It’s hypocritical, it’s demeaning.

Comparing the female player body to the likes of Grace or Heidi or Jane- beyond saying it’s just the type of build one may want, as in, using them as a comparison to further degrade the current body, is yes, still body shaming and something a lot of us have worked hard to try and not compare ourselves to.

Does this have to do with me writing short female characters? Beyond the fact that I am short myself? Yes. Because it’s gotten to the point where if it’s not body shaming, it is fetishizing or glorifying the idea of being smaller than the average short height. And I want some readers to be able to read of a short character that isn’t “gremlin” or “closer to hell evil” or “feral” sometimes. Because that’s stereotyping. And we’ve been stereotyped our whole lives.

The female builder is in her early to mid 20s, around 5’2”, taller than some characters (that aren’t children), has a notable ass and chest- and yet while that’s how some of us look or it’s a bit more, “she’s not a woman”?

I have dated and befriended men from 5’ to 6’5”- and shockingly, men have been less prone to making me feel as less of a woman than the comments from my own gender have. I have shown and read these comments to my father, male friends, brothers and such only to see them become irritated that women are body shaming this body type. Pointing out the hypocrisy and some of the shallow remarks.

This is akin to a post I saw:

Unrealistic and far fetched right? How do you think we felt- those of us who were 5’2” or below.

Someone who is quite literally the same exact height as Andy irl and in my twenties.

I could go into the whole aspect of having to reanimate or rig the characters and players for cutscenes and interactions. I can dive into the whole deal with the “baby face” expressions (and yes, some people just do have a “baby face”). I can stand on Pathea’s side who has worked tirelessly and with several issues they had to work past. The deadlines and due dates they’ve had to push back while early access fans still cheered them on for support. Or I can point out that this game is rated with an E10+ rating.

But this post isn’t about that.

Preach for what you want or options you’d like to see. But no, let’s not make callous remarks and harsh jokes on the player’s body. Let’s not just suggest they get rid of it entirely.

Women are supposed to support women. How about we stop deciding bust size and height is what makes you a “real woman”?

[lovecolibri]

SaL anon here my friend and I suppose every season we need an episode to remind us why we have the mantra, and this was that episode. Its not going down as the worst disappointment we've had on this show, just really, really meh. To be fair, we got exactly what was on the label from the sneak peaks to the stills, you could pretty much track every event that happened. And that's the problem, I don't think we were in a collective hallucination when we thought there would be so much more, and there just wasn't. This especially rung true with Buck this episode, who's storyline is begging for movement while I'm still seeing the same old thing 🙄🙄🙄.

Anyway, that's not even the stuff that pissed me off, what really aggravated me was the Denny stuff. I have no problem with the show doing a big, emotional call during the silly-shenanigans holiday episode, but considering this show has never had a problem writing an emergency where the audience finds itself emotionally invested in a few just-introduced strangers, using the Wilsons to make sure the audience is invested felt lazy and like too much considering all they've just gone through. It was a paint-by-numbers choice to imo, where its like okay who has kids who aren't toddlers cause that'll freak out the audience, aren't already traumatized because no one wants to see trauma piled on a kid, and are actually present?? Oh look, there's Denny!! So yeah, unless there's some sort of future follow-up to what happened that whole thing felt so shoved in and unnecessary.

As for the Buddie and tree stuff, again everything that happened was what we were shown would happen, no surprises. And while I get that the audience has to actually see their relationship this season in order to see why it ends later, it doesn't make watching the hamster wheel in action fun. And god the one solo BT scene they put in (not counting the cemetary, Tommy might as well have been on another set he was so far away) was so ridiculously painful to watch with Treeman acting like a condescending dick the entire time. I sat through it with BT 1.0 and have since forgotten how much I just don't need to see that, until now. The only plus I guess is that at least now they're contrasting it against the way Eddie treats Buck directly which definitely is purposeful, but still I'm tired of watching it and seeing Buck being talked down to.

That's all from me bestie, gonna go get some more wine and curl up with some Buddie classics tonight. Its gonna be a long two weeks....

Friend, we should not have been surprised. As you said, we got exactly what it looked like we would get, down to ending on a somewhat positive-ish note for BT which I think a lot of us HAD been expecting until quotes and hits started coming out. But we should all know better by now! That gif Kat used was the first bucket of ice water for me because I know exactly what that scene implies and I was right. There was certainly some whiplash though as we keep hearing there is going to be a disconnect and BT are going to learn things and face hurdles and it's like, girl where? Is the hurdle just T not actually liking Buck and treating him like a child? Because that only works if it gets addressed and so far it hasn't, and doesn't sound like it will. Plus, hearing that Buck is going to go to everyone for relationship advice is filling me personally with dread because it seems like every time that happens he just gets lectured about why he's not doing enough to keep things together instead of anyone asking if he's happy and I just can't do it again. I'm so tired of watching Buck, who has SO much romance to offer and asks so little get constantly trapped by the writers in these relationships that are boring at BEST, or painful to watch at worst as he is dismissed and mistreated. We've seen this all before, and are dying for something new!

On top of all of that, the pacing and tone for the episode was once again, all over the place! Knowing who wrote it, that kinda makes sense now 🙄. It started out good with fun firefam stuff, but once again, Buck gets shuffled off onto some side story with a rando side character instead of the firefam being involved to make it fun! That's why things like Jinx worked so well! We have Buck and Chim freaking out, Hen on the fence, Bobby pretending he's not superstitious to keep the peace, and Eddie trying to get everyone on his side of the fence. It's more balanced, and fun, plus they can all like, act. But this just felt like Buck getting ganged up on with no one in his corner and the audience, who knows Chim especially is all about this kind of stuff, is left wondering why we didn't hear anything much from him or Bobby, or even almost-a-doctor-Hen! At least Eddie was around, but again, the tone of those scenes with him siding with T felt SO off and really felt like a writing issue. We didn't even get a resolution to the boils! We don't know if it worked or not so what was the point if it's just gonna be brushed aside with a throwaway line, two weeks from now when the show comes back?! Again, a writing/pacing issue.

As for Eddie, I think the audience would have benefited from just a little more insight into his head, instead of getting the same "I miss my son but I'm fine" thing the firefam is getting, just because I think they are really going to get into it for Eddie next week (Shannon again, yay😒), and these storylines do need at least a little room to build, and that alone might have helped with the tone for Eddie's scenes for the audience to sympathize with him, instead of it looking like he's brushing Buck off while the audience is sympathizing with Buck. Again, a writing issue.

Which brings me to the next part of the pacing/tone issue which is why I'm putting on the writing because it wasn't just that the BT stuff was bad and the Eddie stuff felt off, but where in the absolute fuck did this Henren conflict come from?? Someone else pointed out that since Mara has been silenced in her story for so long, this was the perfect opportunity to give her a voice and have HER be the one not understanding Hen's work schedule. Which makes more sense given how young she is, and all she's been through, and it being her first big holiday with her family, rather than someone with a decade of living this life suddenly having a problem out of nowhere. If that had come up even just last week which could have worked with tensions being high and them struggling, it would have made more sense. But truly, this should have been centered on Mara's feelings, not her parents feelings about what might be Mara's feelings but we don't know because it's never confirmed how she feels. I think it was an emotional scene, but without the build up it fell a little flat which is so frustrating because once again we have actors who can absolutely pull off the emotional scenes, being let down by the writing. And while this show has absolutely balances fun and funny with tragic, the tone again just didn't fit or flow. It's bachelor party all over again with the tonal whiplash!

My final big though I'm going to leave off with is this, and it's something we learned during RNM and it's something I try to remember especially for this show as well. Actors having a really great time doing their job and being excited about what they did because they remember all the fun they had and what it looked like from their perspective, does not always translate into an enjoyable episode for the audience. They don't always know what all gets cut, they don't know how things ultimately get put together and how that affects the tone and pacing the audience sees, and their experience is colored by getting to have a super fun time with their friends doing cool stuff! Oliver has had a few episodes he's loved doing cool acting stuff for that didn't translate as well for the audience in the finished product. The journos as well hyped the fuck out of the s7 finale and that episode was a fucking mess! They are also at work, and their job is to get clicks and unfortunately, nothing like a good old fashioned ship war to generate buzz! (Though I'm surprised after some of the deeply disturbing and nasty shit thrown at them by BTs that things turned out like they did, but again, we don't actually know these people and I need to remember that ignoring them is actually for the best.)

ANYWAY. I'll close on Buddie when I'm dead, and if I survived BT 1.0 dragging out a whole season for no reason, that rando woman being forced into 5b just to take up scenes that belonged to everyone else because she had no reason to exist, and that transphobe getting to stick around for a whole season also for no other reason than set dressing basically, then I can get through this. But GOD I'd rather not. I'll follow this show to hell and back, I just wish it would stop fucking going there.

Final final thoughts, my favorite reminder:

[nonbinaryspy]

Meta: Titania and Knightly Devotion

My favorite way to read Titania is that in spirit, she never stopped being a knight. When Ike brings up her past as a Crimean knight, she isn't particularly pleased it's being discussed, and alludes to having a lot to worry about. Still, her Tellius Recollection profile says that "she is not ashamed of bearing the title of 'Paladin.'" Meanwhile, Greil and Elena's past gives a good indication of what Titania might have meant about her worries.

Back when Greil killed Elena and the villagers, and had to flee Gallia with his children—one of whom had amnesia and the other of whom was only a little older than a toddler—I've always assumed Titania went with him. It's stated in the Tellius Recollection book that she has been with the company since its inception, but IIRC, we don't know anything about this time from her perspective. What did she know about the medallion? How must she have felt, learning what Greil had done, when Elena was also her friend? Did she mourn Elena privately for Greil's sake, as she would later try to contain her grief for Greil?

Regardless, leaving the knights to join this broken family was a big decision. She doesn't seem to harbor any ill will toward the royal family or the knights, even getting defensive of them in chapter four while debating how Daein's invasion will turn out. Her choice demonstrates great loyalty to Greil. She certainly admires many things about him—his strength, his love of his family, and his values, which she shares. Those values contain arguably the main difference between her life now and her time as a royal knight.

As the Greil Mercenaries' captain, she helps people regardless of their status rather than focusing on serving the royal family. She serves Crimea and its common good with as much dedication as any knight, but she is able to do it in a more direct way than a knight perhaps would, without the trappings of politics. However, her Tellius Recollection profile lists her likes as justice and honesty, very knightly virtues. One of her design notes even says that "traces of her time in the Crimean Royal Knights remain." I imagine this is referring to elements of her visual design and her proper bearing, but I think it goes deeper.

Parts of the plot emphasize sacrifice as an ideal of knights, while also questioning it when Elincia refuses to let Geoffrey sacrifice himself (A post about this is absolutely coming soon, btw.). Titania, in deciding to follow Greil, sacrificed whatever her old ambitions had been as a knight. She continues to focus on taking care of others while hiding her own feelings. Even when Greil dies, she mourns him in private while working to keep the company together. Though Ike suggests that Titania loved Greil, it seems to have been a selfless love, not one where she looked for anything in return. That said, unlike a knight who might be expected to die for their liege, she lives so she can continue to support the mercenaries. This is even shown in one of her retreat quotes, where she initially intends to sacrifice herself for Crimea as one of its knights would, but withdraws at Ike's command:

Titania: Urgh! Ah… …I can still… …can still…fight… Ike: Stop it, Titania! That wound could kill you! Hurry up and retreat! Titania: For Crimea… I must… This war hangs in the balance… I cannot withdraw… Ike: No, that’s why you have to withdraw! I need you alive! We’ll be all right! Believe in us! Titania: I understand…Ike. And I’m sorry.

Just as Titania is too important to the plot to succumb to permadeath in PoR, she is too treasured within the group for her sacrifice to be accepted.

Titania has many roles within the group. She's a mother figure to Ike and Mist, of course—this is especially apparent in her Mist supports, where she's particularly doting. She tries to get Mist to relax, helps her with chores, goes shopping in town with her, buys her a dress, and even compares her own role to Elena's while offering herself as a confidant. If she left Gallia with Greil, then she would have literally been with Ike as long as he can remember.

But she's also a mentor who helps Ike finish his training after his father dies, and an advisor who guides him in both practical and moral concerns. She represents his conscience throughout the game. Even her Rhys supports feature her expressing concern that Ike may be tempted away from the ideals his father represented re: helping others regardless of reward, though she becomes certain that won't happen. She's Greil and Ike's second in command who they can trust to put in charge due to her calm demeanor and steady ideals.

But if you think of her as almost treating herself like Greil's knight, then doesn't that cast her relationships with Ike and Mist in the same light? She protects them. She supports them without question, and puts her faith in Ike to lead the group on a virtuous path. Despite having very personal relationships with them, she remains formal, stoic, and chivalrous, like a proper knight, rather than fitting the image of a rowdy mercenary. She's been with Greil for far longer than she was a Crimean knight, but she truly earns the title of paladin.

What really sells me on this reading is her A support with Ike, which I'm going to include in its entirety because it's one of my favorites:

Ike: Titania? I wish to thank you. Titania: W-what? What’s with all the formality? Ike: There’s no guarantee that any of us will see tomorrow, and I want to tell you this while it’s still in my head. Will you listen? Titania: Um… All right, but…what’s with you? And what have I done to deserve your thanks? Ike: You have done much. You helped my father build this company. He had lost his wife and had two young children to care for… I wish to thank you for that. Titania: …Oh, Ike… Ike: I’ve taken everything in my life for granted, and it was all possible because of you. My thanks is far too late in coming. Titania: It’s not necessary, Ike. What I did, I did because– Ike: You loved him. Didn’t you? Titania: …!!! …Um… Ike: Perhaps I’m wrong. Regardless… I stand here alive today because of you. And I still want to thank you for it. Had you not lent a helping hand, I would most likely be dead. And my father’s life cut short as well. You helped to keep him alive until the Black Knight brought him down… You made his final years happy. Thank you. Titania: Oh, Ike… …I don’t… …Sniff… …Sniff… …Sniff… Ike: Unlike my father, I lack both experience and strength, but… I’m learning. Please, keep aiding and supporting me. Please… Titania: …Sniff… Of course… Of course I will, Ike.

This conversation demonstrates Ike's thoughtfulness. He acknowledges everything she's done for him and expresses his gratitude, and even guesses at her hidden feelings. It shows the considerate person that he's grown into, in large part due to Titania's influence. In a base conversation, he even finally opens up about the night Greil died, a traumatic moment that Ike has not shared with anyone, because he feels she deserves to know. This helps her come to terms with her grief.

What's relevant about their support here, though, is his formality. Given the presentation of Titania as a motherly figure, and the fact that Ike is even calling out her feelings for Greil, one would expect him to behave more personally here, a step more casual compared to their professional relationship. But instead, he becomes more proper than he is in even meetings with politicians. It's almost like he's recognizing the princely role he plays in her life—the person she's sworn to follow, protect, and advise. That gives him a sense of duty to ensure she's properly appreciated, and that he has properly entreated her for her aid. It's certainly not a role one would expect him to be happy taking on, but maybe that's what happens when the only mother figure you remember is a gallant former knight. Either way, I'm glad her dedication at least gets the recognition it deserves.

[shippingforpros-homestuckedition]

As someone who predates the whole "anti shipping" thing by quite a large margin, the only thing that baffles me more than the fact that they exist is the fact that they've invaded the Homestuck fandom so thoroughly. Like of all media to be a fan of as an anti, you pick the one with actual canon incest, up to and including the entire troll species being directly related and born from - and I quote - "an incestuous slurry"? It's so weird. And then people act like that's a reasonable thing for them to do. Like no bitch, go watch Boohbah or something you Puritan toddlers. Let the Weird Freaky Porn fandom have our Weird Freaky Porn.

(Me answering too fast to everything cuz my brain says so)

When I started using the right terminology on tiktok, warning solkat as a shipcest/incestuous ship, I got in an argument with a dumbass who wanted to convince me that, somehow, being born from a "incestuous sloppy" (their words) didn't mean they're related.

The dumbass is also responsible for my favorite quote I am repeating to my friends endlessly now: "since when pedophilia has an age requirement!?" When I told them that, no, vantascest with Karkat being 16 and Kankri being 19, legally speaking, if they were real, wouldn't be pedophilic due their age.

But anyways, yeah, antis are fucking dumb, and they are in the Homestuck, in the South Park, in the Rick and Morty, in the Hannibal, in the Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, in the Happy Sugar Life and so on fandoms. I've seen them everywhere, they're fucking IDIOTS. None of them cares about the story, or actually understanding what they're watching, ASSUMING they're watching/reading what they claim to be "fans" of. They just wants the aesthetics of being "alternatives" and "not like the others, because I like something SOOO impolite and quirky and edgy like South Park 😝".

They're all fucking normies.

LITTLE NOTE: I want to remind every nerdy shit that any Beta Troll x Beta Troll is incestuous because, even if they were born via ectobiology and not through the mother grub, Karkat took the genetic material from trolls who where born from the mother grub. The genes are those. It's incest.

[wastelandofdreams]

Hi I just wanted to say I really enjoy your posts and even though I'm not personally a gcest truther I do think that there is no doubt that there is a lack of healthy physical boundaries in their relationship.

I just personally don't think incestuous feelings is the explanation (well at least not between Noel and Liam)

To me the weirdness (from an outside perspective) between them can't be discussed without giving serious consideration to the horrific trauma they shared as children.

They do not have a healthy relationship as adults because they didn't have a healthy childhood in which to develop healthy bonds.

When Noel was being dragged out of his bed in the middle of the night and beaten sensless, Liam was right there in the bed next to him witnessing it all, at such a young ages that their brains couldn't process it properly (and I mean that literally trauma in early childhood can cause damage to the still developing brain of a child due to the high levels of overwhelming toxic stress that are produced while experiencing trauma)

Liam saw Noel at his most vulnerable, he saw things Noel to this day can't bring himself to really talk about. That is one hell of a trauma bond and for me it under pins everything about how they interact as adults imo

Then you have the fact Liam was the one of the 3 brothers who witnessed the worst of Tommy's violence towards Peggy because he was so little he was always by her side. She said herself Noel and Paul didn't really witness much her being beaten because they were always outside playing or with friends. That Noel would ask why she had a black eye and she would lie but in her words "of course he knew" But Liam saw it all from her being hit over the head with a hammer to the time he described seeing Tommy beat her so bad that he just wouldn't stop hitting her and Liam was too small to help her. Liam has said he was angry with Paul and Noel being out so often and not at home protecting their mum.

The threats to kill Peggy, the threats to burn down the house with Noel and Paul inside.

Then there is the neglect which they all suffered to some degree from Noel and Paul being left in the car all day while Tommy entertained his mistress, to him leaving them to walk home for miles in the cold and rain because again he abandoned the somewhere to disappear for days with his other family or drinking buddies. To the financial neglect.

But the most serious neglect was toward Liam who as a toddler would be left home alone all day because Tommy didn't want to do his share of the childcare while Peggy worked to feed and cloth them.

There is speculation about Tommy sexually abusing Liam due to things that Liam has said and Tommy has said and just his all round creepyness about Liam. But not sure I want to go into it any further. There was also the "mother's old friend who hurt him" quote which some have speculated was alluding to csa.

All of this is to say I don't think their odd relationship can be spoken about with out an acknowledgement of the very serious and deep trauma that was the foundation of their childhoodm

Hi! So first of all thank you for liking my posts and I appreciate that you are sharing your thoughts with me

But I'm also kind of not sure what should I answer or what you want me to say... I guess I don't post much about their childhood trauma because I'm not a child psychologist nor am I any kind of expert in that regard?

I did read some fanfics where the authors try to discuss it to some extent. But, then again, none of us were there, and we are not them. We can only make our assumptions.

Frankly speaking... I started the blog just to have some fun. Shipping them is fun. Saw something my mutuals posted and reblog it is fun. Find something interesting and share it here is fun. My life sucks I just want to have some fun here. I understand you want to discuss a more serious matter and it's probably better to make a post yourself so that you can get a more serious discussion

Anyway have a nice day :)

[hello-there-world]

hi thought about Charlie again. in the Rewrite. specifically in the games. no we're not getting into my Very Sad version of the Novel Trilogy. trust me, i found a way to make it sadder.

so!! my girl <3

like her dad and brother, she is incredibly southern. this includes her using southern sayings (mostly picked up from her dad). her favorite one is "Well, bless their heart" because it can technically be used genuinely (which is how most people use it i think) or as a thinly veiled insult (how my mom says it's Technically used). it just depends on the context of how Charlie says it. if she says it in either a mocking, sarcastic, or deadpan tone, she's basically saying "Ah, so their stupidity caught up to them, then? Is that what I'm hearing?"

yeah...Charlie's not exactly a 100% perfect angel, but she's not a Bad Kid either. she's a sweetheart, but she's rough and rugged. she lends a helping hand, but that doesn't mean she won't cuss you out if you're a dumbass. she fights dirty if she has to, verbally and physically.

Charlie dealt with bullying in school, mostly from another girl named Brittany and her clique. Charlie honestly could've given less of a shit (and usually did) but Brittany would drag her friends into it. which she was Not fine with.

Charlie's not even sure what Brittany's problem with her is. the long story short of it all is that while most people think Charlie is Weird /pos, Brittany and (most of) her small clique think that Charlie is Weird /neg.

so...probably the weirdest way to view the scene but like. when Brittany and a few of her friends locked Charlie outside, Charlie's reaction was less "Oh no!! :( Let me back inside, it's raining out here!! :((" it was more "BRITTANY YOU BITCHASS MOTHERFUCKER, LET ME BACK IN RIGHT THE FUCK NOW! I SWEAR TO GOD, I'LL KICK YOUR ASS WHEN I GET BACK IN THERE-"

so yeah, had William decided to be Normal and Actually helped her get back inside, we probably would've gotten a scene of either someone needing to hold Charlie back before she started a fight, or Charlie getting into a fight with Brittany.

the reason Charlie likes the song "My Grandfather's Clock" was because Henry used to sing it to her. Henry also made the music box for her.

Charlie is technically transmasc and bigender, but uh. she kinda died before she realized that.

a lot of Charlie's friends and family would also call her Charles as a nickname.

so...you're probably wondering: if Charlie's meant to be the most "pacifistic" of the souls, why does she try to kill the nightguards in Fnaf 2? well...the short answer is that she kinda had a Moral OCD-Induced Mental Breakdown (she failed to save five whole children and practically had to watch them die, and in her incredibly traumatized mind, killing a few nightguards is how she makes up for her "failure." (because, technically, someone should've been working there to keep them safe, and no one was, but the SAVE THEM minigame takes place at like 11:15 at night, so no one was there yet))

William didn't think that Charlie was responsible for like. the three dead nightguards (in the span of two weeks post-SAVE THEM) until Alex pulled up the security footage. which showed her killing the guards. William put the music box in place to keep her from. y'know. Continuing To Do That. it's the only time he's really been Scared of her as a spirit.

Charlie might technically be the "leader" of the spirits, but that doesn't mean she Entirely knows what she's doing.

Charlie, despite everything, doesn't hate William. she can't bring herself to. that doesn't mean she forgives him, nor that she isn't fucking furious with him, but...those don't necessarily equal hatred. i'd say this UCN quote sums up Charlie's feelings towards William pretty well: "I don't hate you, but you need to stay out of my way."

Charlie is actually the one who voiced Marionn when she was little! their voice is literally just Toddler Charlie!!

Charlie is Pan, but kinda oblivious about it. she thinks that Everybody kinda likes everyone but a Lot of people are just being weird about having to like Only the opposite gender or you're Wrong. she pretty much inherited her dad's sexuality, she just doesn't know.

Charlie would've grown up to be/dress like a butch and i accept no criticism on this (/hj)

Charlie my beloved <3

She sounds so cool... I really like the UCN quote there, too, cause it just... there's a deep sense of kinda... apathetic bitterness? She doesn't hate him, but...

[mommalosthermind]

Gonna do that thing where I rant about how other people confuse the shit out of me for a sec-

Because, honestly, is it a new thing? To be this up in everyone’s parenting? OR. Have i managed to mostly avoid this (from strangers. Family I’ve just. Stopped talking to.) by not having any friends as a kid and then also only recently being tricked into talking to neighbors by my Extreme Golden Retriever of a youngest child? I do not fucking get it.

*no*, mom up the street, I would NOT like to get a watch like your kid has, I do not care that it’s only $10/m on your phone plan. I do not need more bills, for starters!! I have three kids, you think i should be dropping 30/m? On a watch that’s more phone than watch? Girlie, they do not HAVE phones for a fucking reason. Several reasons. Oh, it’s for your peace of mind. Right. Well. Here’s a piece of mine:

I do not need to be strapping an expensive piece of tech onto my black hole of a kid. My son’s bedroom door has a hole large enough for a toddler to crawl through. I *know* he will break the damn thing if it’s not lost within 12 hours. And maybe it’s just me but buying something with the SOLE PURPOSE OF CONSTANTLY SPYING ON MY KID seems like a BAD FUCKING PRECEDENT actually!!

“But he’s only 11!! What if he gets kidnapped! Or hit by a truck! Or lost! Or abducted by aliens!!”

Baby girl you watch too many cop shows. There’s no huge spike in violence, there’s better reporting and fear-mongering coverage. Do you think everyone is out to get you, specifically, because you watch too many cop shows, or because you’re so deep in your weird little cult that the brown kid across the street is the enemy despite being a grand ten years old?

My kid is just as safe—is actually more safe than I was as a kid, because a decent chunk of my hill town life I was on what amounted to a highway. That i was crossing regularly. By myself. Sometimes on a bike, to go read at the reservoir, or the river, or the school. Alone. By my self!! Where no one knew where I was because that was the entire point!! OH! And sometimes!! Not willingly at all!! Because when the fucking dogs got out I would stick my arm through the collar and get my ass dragged to the cemetery because there was no way my 80lb ass was stopping the nearly 300lb Great Dane that wanted to hang out with the birds across the highway but if I wasn’t with the damn dog when the neighbors alerted my mother I would be so very unbelievably dead. Anyway. I am not dead. I was not spied on by anything other than neighbors and the going-to-work traffic that became to used to watching me get dragged by dogs that they would just. Drive to my mother’s work and be like yo, your kid is flapping in the wind behind Hercules again.

I had to deal with MOOSE. I had to haul ass into the house because a mama bear wanted her kids to play on my swing set. I had to cross four fucking lanes of traffic to get to the park. I did not get a cellphone until I was sixteen, driving, and had a job, and even then it was because my mother gave me the first one because, and I quote, “when your ass makes a wrong turn and ends up in canada, you should maybe tell me.”

My youngest! Is wandering around the same three fucking self-contained streets! No one even comes down here unless they live here because there is nowhere to go. This is hilariously the most insulated place I have ever lived and I hate it so much because I can see into about eight different house from my backyard. I feel so watched all the time. Literally what do you think is going to happen if you don’t have a constant bead on your kid other than your kid having serious issues as an adult.

ANYWAY. That got away from me. The POINT. I am not making at all here is that I do not understand the need to be constantly spying on your kids in the name of safety. I don’t care how often you make sideways comments about how I’m a bad, neglectful parent. Especially from a woman who taught her kid that ‘you’re a good Christian’ is the highest compliment, and the word ‘lesbian’ is a heinous curse word punishable by like, death, or something.

I hate that I can’t exist anywhere in the world without being spied on or recorded, why the fuck would I normalize that for my kids who are independent people who deserve privacy and the right to learn how to be a person WITHOUT ME hovering?

Let! The kid! Roam! He’s got a watch! It tells the fucking time! He knows when to be home! And he’s in his own neighborhood, making friends and learning how to be something that isn’t me!

[phantompoguefangirl]

WRAPPED AROUND YOUR FINGER

CHAPTER THREE: HOME IS WHERE THE BAND IS

They don't know about the things we do

They don't know about the I-love-yous

But I bet you if they only knew (they don't know)

They would just be jealous of us

They don't know about the up-all-nights

They don't know I've waited all my life, Just to find a love that feels this right (they don't know)

Baby, they don't know about, they don't know about us.

They don't know how special you are.

They don't know what you've done to my heart. They can say anything they want

'Cause they don't know about us -They Don't Know About Us by One Direction

**************************************

The plane ride was only like a couple hours long and we spent the first part of it discussing logistics for my new setlist song and the rest of it watching Guardians of the Galaxy. We were still quoting it and giggling uncontrollably as we got off the plane and found our luggage. Michael carried mine for me and we made our way through the airport until we got to the secluded area where Luke, Ashton, and Calum were waiting for us with their security guard, Dave.

Ashton was the first to see us and his face lit up like the 4th of July causing his mouth to turn up into his big iconic smile. Ashton was my best guy friend and the band member I was closest to, besides Michael obviously. He was also the reason I got into 5 Seconds of Summer. I'd seen a cute photo of him and I wanted to know who he was so I googled him and found the band. I instantly loved the music and was in Ashton's lane at first, but then I discovered that an angel named Michael Clifford existed and my whole life changed.

Of course, Ashton still had a special place in my heart and when I met him, we'd instantly clicked in a purely platonic way. We were the same age, but because Ashton was older by a few months and because I was so much shorter than all of them, he liked to call me his little sister just to annoy me.

We both were very giggly and sarcastic and we had a lot of fun together. We also kind of ended up being the parents of the group a lot since we were the oldest and someone has to keep track of these dorks when they're together or chaos ensues. I mean, chaos usually ensues anyway, but Ash and I(mostly me) tried to keep them from getting into trouble. Easier said than done when you have the equivalent of four toddlers on crack in adult bodies running around with you. But I loved them for their crazy shenanigans because it was always hilarious and fun to be apart of.

"Mia!!" Ashton yelled, breaking me out of my thoughts as he ran toward me, sounding like he hadn't seen me in months.

"Dimples!" I yelped out the nickname I gave him excitedly as he carefully scooped me up into a hug and I hugged him back as tightly as I could. The boys already knew about my hand because we had called them to let them know what happened while we were waiting in the ER.

"No, stop, I don't want to be annoyed with you. I missed you too much!" he groaned, setting me down. He always pretended he didn't like that nickname but he really didn't mind.

"It's literally only been like a day and a half, Ash," I giggled.

"Yeah, but you guys left me alone with these two idiots so it felt like forever," Ashton said, pointing behind him at Luke and Calum with his thumb.

"Hey! We heard that," Luke said as he and Calum came up to us.

"Yeah, if anything, they should be apologizing for leaving us alone with you," Calum added, playfully shoving Ashton.

"Oh well my bad," I said sarcastically, still giggling.

"Wow, we're gone for ONE fucking day and you all become such whiny little shits," Michael said, laughing as he hugged the boys.

When the guys were done horsing around as they greeted each other, Luke and Calum happily hugged me too and then we started walking toward the exit. I still had a hard time keeping up with them, so Ashton gave me a piggy back ride. Michael was going to but he had all the luggage and Ashton beat him to it anyway.

"So what are you gonna do about tour, y'know with your hand being hurt and everything?" Luke asked, once we were all buckled in and Dave was driving us back to our house.

"Oh we actually need to talk to you about that. Michael offered to play guitar for me, if that's cool with you guys," I explained,"And I want to add a cover song to my set, too."

"Can you handle all that, Mikey?"Ashton asked, worried.

"Oh yeah. It's not that much more to play and like I told Mia, there will be a break between her set and ours so I can rest and refuel then," Michael answered excitedly.

"If you're sure you'll be fine, then I see no issue with that. As long as you take care of yourself," Ash said.

"I'm okay with it too. Just don't wear yourself out, mate," said Calum.

"Yeah same," Luke agreed.

"I won't wear myself out, I promise," Michael affirmed.

"I'll make sure he doesn't," I said,"Thank you guys, I really appreciate all of you."

"Of course. We'd do just about anything for you, Mia. You know that," Ashton assured me, "Speaking of which, I believe you had a second request?"

I nodded and explained my song idea to them. They were down for it too so I texted my band to meet us at our house. As soon as we got there, Michael and I went with them down to the studio to rehearse.

We did a quick run through of my set to work Michael in, and then we started learning Face Down. We were still working on the arrangement and I was just finishing singing the last part of the song when Luke came downstairs. I groaned in frustration as the song ended.

"Hey lunch is read-whoa what's wrong?" Luke said, walking further into the studio.

"Something doesn't feel right. We've pretty much got the song learned but something about the arrangement itself is just...off,"I explained.

"Yeah it feels like there's something missing maybe?" Michael added.

"Hmm, well do you guys want to play it again so I can hear it? Maybe I can help you figure it out," Luke offered, hesitantly.

We nodded, and Luke listened to the original song on the studio computer and then listened to us play it right after. He stopped us after the first chorus and we looked at over at him, confused.

"Michael, what if you sing with her? I think your voices blend well and I think if you harmonize, it might be a nice touch." Luke suggested.

"Oh, I didn't even think of that! That's great idea," Michael said, looking at his bandmate and then over at me.

"Ooh, yeah, let's try it!" I agreed, excitedly.

So we figured out what parts he would sing and Luke was right. Michael's voice and our harmonies were exactly what the song needed. I think the passion and emotion came out more that way because Michael was a big part of the story we were telling with this music and he could tell his side as well. Calum and Ashton joined us when Luke didn't come back and they thought it was awesome too, so that made me feel even better about it.

We practiced it a couple more times and then we went upstairs to eat. Calum had ordered sub sandwiches for everyone, including my band. They were here playing music with me enough that their food orders had been learned.

After we finished eating and my band left, Luke and Calum asked Michael to play Fifa. I played videogames, but I wasn't any good at Fifa and neither was Ashton so we just sat and watched. I ended up between Michael and Ashton on the bigger couch while Luke and Calum took the other one. We watched them play for a few hours, laughing at their playful arguments and insults.

After awhile I began to zone out a bit, staring at my cast and thinking about yesterday. Ashton must have noticed because he gently took my broken hand in his.

"Do you want to talk about what happened with your family? I mean we know the part about how you ended up in the ER but not the rest," he spoke after a moment.

"They were judgemental as hell, but at least my dad and Maggie shut up after Michael basically told them that he didn't give a shit what they thought of him. Grandma was the only one who didn't let up. I guess I shouldn't really surprised though," I told him as I glanced up and watched the boys fighting to score a goal.

"What did they say?" Ashton asked.

I fidgeted with a loose thread on Michael's jeans anxiously as the events of yesterday replayed in my head.

"They basically called me a ho and said I jumped from Jesse to Michael like it was nothing," I answered, trying to stay calm as the boys made various disgusted noises at the mention of Jesse's name,"Then Grandma saw my side tattoo and my belly ring while we were horsing around with my brothers and she said I ruined my body for Michael, who, according to her, just wants to get in my pants and will leave me for some other groupie."

"What?!" Ashton growled.

"Oh my god, what the fuck?" Luke exclaimed, pausing the game and looking at me incredulously.

"Why the hell would they say that to you?" Calum asked, also looking at me in shock.

"I don't know, honestly," I said sadly, shifting away from Ashton in order to snuggle closer to Michael, who set his controller down and wrapped his arms around me in response.

"I pretty much told her grandma to go fuck herself for that last bit, but I was polite about it because I was more worried about Mia's injury than anything else in that moment," Michael said, sounding like he was also trying to stay calm.

"Wow," Luke said, shaking his head and running his fingers through his hair.

"He told them off twice, actually, but Grandma didn't stop until she said the groupie thing and Michael really went off on her,"I said.

"I would have went off too. What the fuck is wrong with these people?" Ashton said, angrily.

"I about lost my shit over what they said about her and Jesse, though. I almost took her and left right then, but we got distracted by her dad asking about her music," Michael said.

"Did you tell them what happened with Jesse?" Ashton asked.

"Yeah but I was kinda vague about it because the details are still hard to talk about,"I sighed.

"That's fair," Ashton said.

"They got the picture, though," Michael said.

"Good," Ashton nodded.

"I'm sorry you had to deal with that," Calum told me.

"Both of you," Luke added, glancing between Michael and I.

"Thanks," We replied simultaneously.

Michael tilted my face upward to look at him,"Hey, I hope you know your family is wrong for acting like that and saying those things. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, besides this band of course, and I'm never going to leave you. I love you so fucking much, Mia. More than you know."

I leaned up and pressed my lips to his softly. "I know, Baby. I told you I don't care what they think of you. I just didn't want to hear them say it. And I love you too."

"For the record, we're not going anywhere either. We love you too, Mia," Luke added.

"Yeah, your family can kick rocks. They don't know anything about us. None of us would ever even dream of leaving or hurting you, especially not Michael. You mean the world to us," Ash agreed.

"To be honest, I don't think they really should count as family because family doesn't treat you like that. To me, we are your family because we love each other, take care of each other, support each other unconditionally and never judge each other. Except jokingly, of course," Calum spoke up.

"Awe, Calum," I said as I felt the tears welling up in my eyes.

"No, I'm serious. You're as much my sister as Mali-Koa is at this point," he said, getting up and extending his arms to me as Ashton and Luke nodded in agreement and moved closer too. "Remember what I always say? Home is where the band is. Well, you're part of us now so home is where you are too."

"You already know you're my little sister too," Ashton grinned through watery eyes.

The tears were free falling now as I got carefully smooshed into the arms of my four favorite boys. I could feel their warm tears on my clothes as we held each other.

We stayed like that for a bit before Ashton spoke up.

"Hey, how about we have a movie night? We can make a fort and sleep here in the living room tonight!" He suggested, knowing this was one of mine and Michael's favorite things to do.

"Hell yeah! I'll order pizza!" Michael agreed excitedly.

"Calum and I can go get snacks and drinks from the store!" Luke offered.

"You know I'm in!" I agreed, jumping up and running upstairs. I changed into one of Michael's tshirts and some pajama shorts. Michael followed me and changed into his own pjs as he ordered the pizza. He helped me bring our bedding downstairs once he got off the phone.

Luke and Cal got back before the pizza arrived and Ash emerged from his room also clad in sleepwear to help them bring in the snacks. They changed too and then someone threw in Mean Girls at some point, earning a groan from Michael.

"Shut the fuck up, you love Mean Girls," Luke said, gently smacking his arm.

"I was kidding, geez," Michael giggled, shoving him before reaching for me.

Before he could touch me, I squealed as I was swept into someone's arms and pulled onto one of the couches.

"What the hell, Ash?" Michael said, annoyed.

"I can't cuddle with my best friend?" Ash asked innocently.

"First of all, OUCH. I thought we were your best friends," Michael scoffed sarcastically, gesturing to himself, Luke and Cal, both voiced their agreement. "And second of all, what if I wanted to cuddle her?"

I knew I should probably interject but watching any of the boys banter was too funny to miss.

"Well first of all, you know what I meant so come off it, mate," Ashton replied, laughing as he pulled me a little bit closer, "And second of all, I just want Mia snuggles for a little while. You can have her back after that."

Michael was about to protest, but I nodded and smiled at him, "Babe, it'll be fine. I'll come cuddle with you after the pizza gets here and we eat."

Michael made a pouty face before overdramatically sighing and plopping down on the other couch. "Fine, I guess."

I could tell by his eyes that he wasn't really bothered, though. Him and Ashton often jokingly fought over me.

"I'll cuddle you, mate," Calum offered, reaching for Michael.

"CAL PAL!" Michael mock gasped, giggling and jumping on Calum as we all laughed hysterically.

Luke jumped on them and they wrestled around before getting distracted by the movie and laying there tangled up with each other while watching.

I couldn't find my phone so I grabbed Ashton's and took a few sneaky photos of them as it happened. I posted them on Ashton's social media accounts with the caption "Movie night cuddles or failed WWE Smackdown reenactment?" causing Ashton to crack up laughing as he read it.

The other three didn't seem to notice and I put the phone down as we all focused on the tv. I leaned back against Ashton, basking in his warmth as his arms tightened around me. He was so comfy to do this with, like a big adorable teddy bear. I sighed quietly as I laid there feeling very relaxed. That is, until the pizza came and everyone scrambled to get up and grab a slice.

Once we finished eating, we built the fort and situated everything.

"Babe, look!" Michael said, pointing proudly at the nest of pillows and blankets he had created for us.

"Ooohh yesss!" I said, coming over to him excitedly. I jumped into the pile and carefully rolled myself into the blankets like a burrito.

"Hey I wanna be a burrito with you!" Michael said, burrowing in beside me, pulling me into his arms and brushing his lips against mine. I giggled, stretching my arms and legs around him as I kissed him back happily.

"Ew, get a room!" Calum joked, pretending to gag.

Michael's lips didn't leave mine as he help up his hand and gave Calum the finger. I could practically hear Calum rolling his eyes amid Luke and Ashton's laughter.

I giggled into the kiss and we pulled apart after a minute. We shifted around so we could both watch the movie, Michael snuggling me closer and nuzzling his face into my neck as we did so.

The boys had each made their own bedding nests and were now curled up in their spots contently. We ended up eating snacks and quoting every film we watched late into the night until we all fell asleep.

[basketofvoilets]

my comedic car wreck and hospital visit in chronological order (so i don’t forget)

1. i’m driving home from work (alone, thankfully) and i REALLY have to poop

2. suddenly i get t-boned right on my door, the car goes flying across the highway until i got control of the wheel (tip: put your car in park as soon as you can. that’s the first thing my mom taught me when i learned how to drive)

3. the airbag hit the left side of my head with such ferocity that it brought me out of my shocked state and back into reality. thankfully i got the worst of the impact & i was the only one “injured” (i use air quotes bc i have minor injuries, just keep reading)

4. i got the car stopped and at this point i am FACING oncoming traffic and i’m NOSE TO NOSE with the cars behind me. i am certain they will forever be haunted by the look of panic on my face. literally the first thing i did was call my mom and i am violently trembling but somehow i didn’t cry at any point

5. ppl started getting out of their cars to help me and the 3 other cars (southern hospitality) and some kind stranger had to coax me out of the passenger side of my car like a scared animal

6. luckily my mom was in town so she was like 10 minutes away. so i called my gf like heyyyyyyy i’m alive! as soon as i checked my phone my friends were texting me asking if i was okay bc they SAW me standing next to my beloved crashed car. HUMILIATING!!!!

7. i started talking to the passenger of the car that started the accident & he was like going around making sure everyone was okay (he was very nice)

8. when my mom showed up i almost fell to my knees. i literally have the best mom. the first responders show up and the firemen move my car out of the middle of the road bc there was no way in hell i was getting back in there.

9. all the cars get moved to a parking lot nearby and somehow i find myself hugging the lady who hit my car (she was also very nice and had a very cute toddler)

10. guys. i fucking love my car. she is the most perfect little car in the world and i’m so sad. i hope she is repairable💔the tow truck shows up and im like….. but :(((

11. we talk to police n stuff & we leave so i can go home to change and POOP before we go to the hospital

12. i get home, hug and kiss my gf, and poop

13. i get to the e.r with my mom and we get called back almost instantly & girl. that little hospital bed was comfy. they start asking me questions & i could tell they were entertained by my dry delivery of the previous events.

14. they give me muscle relaxers and ibuprofen, and the muscle relaxers IMMEDIATELY kick in bc i’m a lightweight

15. a nurse with a really cool traditional tattoo sleeve takes me back for x rays in a wheelchair and i was embarrassed bc i can walk and i felt like i was being dramatic despite it being hospital protocol

16. the nurse was really cool and he seemed to think my lightly sedated state was entertaining. the funny thing abt this guy is that he saw the car wreck while he was going to work and he was like well i’ll see y’all later. i told him i was the one standing on the side of the road like an idiot

17. they discharge me & say i sprained my neck & have a bruise on my head. bitch i got thrown across a highway and all i got was a sprained neck???? incredible

18. my mom and i went to waffle house and i embarrassed myself so bad trying to order bc i just could not. make words happen. at all. i ate more in one sitting than i do in a week and it was so fucking delicious that i don’t even feel guilty

19. so basically i’m fine but i was warned that the next few days i’ll feel like HELL. good thing i just bought vodka. i’m so glad everyone else is okay💕💕 but i am so sad about my car :(( and i hope the girl that hit me can forgive herself :( i stand by the fact that toyota corollas are the best cars. drive safe y’all

[justshitandanime]

Kamigami no Asobi/ Ludere Deorum (Anime) Critic, opinion, whatever (no major spoiler)

So, I just end to watch this short anime (12 episodes) and I’m like MEH. I don’t care about the game, truly, I give 3 fucks. Is only about the anime.  

The basic plot is “A bunch of gods from different religions have to take classes in a school with a human for a REASON”. And at first, when you see which gods are (Japanese, Greeks, Nordic and Egyptian) you can think: Ok, this will be great! Like, knowing that Greeks, Nordic and Egyptians in some point fight historically between them, the god’s relationships must give a lot of drama and conflict, right???

WELL NO, ZERO. The story now is “Everyone love the human, plot less deep than a paper” ISTG.

Let’s start with the only woman in the series, a girl that’s so annoying that make me want to rip off her hair. Zero personality, she only adds something because the rest of the gods are pretty much teenagers with the mindset of a 10 years old child who seems to never see humans in their lives for more than 5 minutes (which in some point it contradicts it because one of the gods almost marry a human??). Typical lady who can’t stop to cry for legit anything but, somehow save the world and somehow know how help everyone…

The gods are just plain stupid, which, coming from beings hundreds of hundred years old, HOW THE FUCK? The only ones are the two who are like on top the school, Zeus and Thoth (this last one was my main reason to see this anime), who act a little more as millennial old god. One of them literally have the attitude and personality of a toddler…

The only big GOOD APPLAUSE to this anime was make the Egyptian gods (Anubis and Thoth) NOT WHITE and neither with “people of color offensive stereotypes”. Are the same, act the same, as SHOULD, but brown skin color.

But the rest is a little meh. Both are the only different ones, the Japanese gods look just as the Nordic and Greek. Their “god form” is a mix of Sailor Moon style with some vague representation of their characteristics.

Their personality are based on one quote of wikipedia, ignoring the 99% of their original lore, their relationships are also very basic. Half of the screen time are just simping over the girl, trying to see who will keep her as if she was just a prize and not a being with own brain (hello misogyny my old friend) and she is pretty much a toy with no self-love or even the ovaries to speak (she shutters and say “but” all the time).

They also end shirtless or semi naked way too often to be barely 12 episodes long and make me think, whoever made it, was thinking in “I will make a bunch of hot dudes, showing tasty meat, to make the girls see this anime”.

Another issue with the design is that they look pretty similar. Except the change of the hair color and style, they are the damn same, to the point of be hard to identify them at first, even the girl has THAT FACE. Again, only is easy for the Egyptians gods and Zeus. They are all so absurdly THIN like, damn, they have muscles but, you know, to have these muscles, do you have bones below or something? They are eels…

Their conflicts seem so damn deep in some point that make you think “ok, now the drama start!” but no, all is fixed in one chapter as if they put the issue under a rug.

The names are a big “wtf”. The character Melissa is showed as if is going to be important but I still try to figure out why the fuck they made him/her.

Being an old shitty person a side, I can say, even so, they somehow manage to be charming enough to make you get a little sad when the bad shit happens. After all, they are just a bunch of bimbos: no brain, pretty, nice guys.

There are a few plots twist that can make you say “cool”.

Background and scenery are great, night skies were my favorite.

Score: 2.5/5 and 5/10. Is fine if you are bored one day and want to binge a fast show without need to think, but don’t expect too much. And kinda avoid it if you are fan of any of these gods (much less a nerd of their mythology) or you will end spitting foam and cursing in old latin.

[rosepetalkitty]

oh boy tw for family trauma 🫠

yeah no that's. damn.

my dad only ever hit me once, and he probably doesn't remember it, but i do. i never told anyone because i didn't want him to get in trouble — he was always the parent who was less of a threat.

that's the only physical thing that ever happened (thank god) but there was a lot of other shit and moving away to uni really helped me realize that.

my mom would sit on my bed behind me while i worked on homework and shout at me if it seemed like i was falling asleep. she would keep me up until 1am some nights, and when she was tired and angry in the morning she would tell everyone it was my fault no matter how much i tried to say that i wanted her to just go to bed, that i didn't want to keep her up, that i was tired too... that started at the beginning 9th grade (during quarantine) and lasted until the beginning of 11th.

before that, in middle school (i was 12) when i first got a phone, she told me one of the expectations was that i would give her the password and let her go through it. i did give her the password, but even at that age i didn't really trust her, so i used another app to put a second password on my home screen. if you put it in wrong it took a photo of you and emailed it to me.

a few weeks later she told me she wanted to go through it, and i told her that was fine, but because it was past my bedtime she wouldn't let me stay up and sit with her while she did. i asked if we could do it in the morning so that we could go through it together, and she said that was fine. guess who woke up to an enraged mother and an email with a picture of her face in the morning...

i brought that one up in therapy four years later in response to her telling the therapist she didn't know why i didn't trust her, and she interrupted me to say, and i quote, "that was so long ago that it doesn't matter anymore." she then turned to the therapist to tell her about how when i was in middle school i wouldn't let her go through my phone "to make sure i was safe", and that that was evidence that the trust issues were my fault. the therapist just looked at me like 😬 and quickly moved on to the next topic. my mom now refuses to acknowledge that she ever said that.

in high school my parents always kinda treated me like a toddler. i wasn't allowed to leave the house unless it was with them because they didn't trust public transportation and our neighborhood wasn't safe to walk out of (giant road all around the perimeter). i didn't get to take a bus until i was 16, and that was only to the mall a few minutes from my house. it took until i was 17 to be able to actually go and hang out with my friends without her supervision or that of another parent who she would expect updates from.

now that im in uni living on my own, she takes every opportunity she can to berate me about my ability to take care of myself. ive been living alone for three months now and have been perfectly fine, doing what i can to get decent nutrition on a college campus that makes it somewhat difficult, and she argued with me about whether it was "responsible" to get a hamburger when she brought me to shake shack while was home to visit for a weekend. "you probably only eat stuff like this, anyways, order something healthy!"

and honestly, speaking of that trip, y'know what really showed me how much less stress i've been under in uni? having a nice brunch at a fancy-ish restaurant that we used to go to with my grandparents when i was little and being low-key appalled when my parents parents started having a not-so-quiet back and forth in which my mom was saying "oh you just think everything i say is wrong, just tell everyone that, be honest, this is ridiculous" over the fact that my dad had asked "hey just to make sure we did mean to get two orders of potatoes, right? just want to check before the server comes back in case that's too much."

those arguments were normal to me a few months ago. and they wonder why i don't tell them things...

(also for context, it's one of those places where two or three small plates is enough for one person and you share stuff, so he was counting up what we were planning to order to make sure we got the right amount — the answer was yes, everyone in the family loves those potatoes, and the second my brother said that my dad was like "oh cool okay, anyways-" before being cut off again by my mom going nuclear over being interrupted by my brother)

and also, final footnote before i post this, there is so much more. this is like. not the worst of my childhood. plus im not including anything from before i was like 12 because i don't remember any of it besides a couple snippets, so there's that...

[kelly-writes-1127]

Schrodinger's Brother

Thursday, 28 October 2021, 1:00 p.m.

I snuck away from work for a sushi lunch with a friend. This friend also happens to be my boss’s wife. It’s ok she’ll cover for me. We order in at her place so her toddler can nap.

“You’re the only one that gets it.” She says. “All my other friends think I’m terrible for not wanting my parents to visit.”

I laugh an easy, pain free laugh. The last one I’ll ever know. “Maybe I’m not the best example,” I shrug, “but I’m no stranger to a draining or unloving family. You don’t owe them anything just because you’re related. And it’s okay to feel however you feel. I have a lot of “family”, I air quote the word, “but the only ones I am close with are my brother and a couple of cousins.”

The name Brendon James appears on my phone as it lights up. I roll my eyes, “That’s my dad. I’ll call him after lunch.” I push the side button to silence the disruption.

Suddenly, my friend’s phone lights up with her own call. “Is that my boss?” I joke as she answers. “Tell him I’m definitely working.” She smiles and gives me a friendly wink as she answers. 

My phone goes off again. This time an obscure aunt. Ugh, what do these people want. I answer the phone as I step into the other room. 

“Have you spoken to your dad?” immediate panic in her voice. My heart starts racing. I hang up without saying a word and call my dad. No answer. I call him again. No answer.

Back to the obscure aunt. She answers with that same panicked voice, “yea, Kelly?”

“What’s going on?” I demand.

“You need to sit down,” she says.

“Tell me what is going on right now. My dad isn’t answering. Tell me what is going on.”

“Your brother is dead.” She doesn’t scream it or say it in a panic. Almost as if she is trying to steady herself for me, but it comes out as if she is telling me that she left the mail on the table. And I’m too confused by the words and her cadence.

“No he’s not.” I hang up. I’m standing in my friends foyer. I can hear her on the phone in the other room with my boss. My brother is not dead. I call him — “Charlie?!” No answer. My family is full of unreliable and dramatic people and my brother is not dead. And if he were dead I wouldn’t be finding out from an obscure aunt. If my brother had the audacity to die then he damn well would have told me himself.

Is the room spinning? I fucking hate my unreliable and dramatic family. I fall to my knees and call my dad. No answer. I had just been eating a California roll. My brother is not fucking dead.

I call Erin, his fiance. She answers the phone in a crying, pleading scream, “Keeeellllllyyyy”. My heart breaks immediately. But he is not dead.

“Erin, what is going on?” I demand.

“He’s dead. He’s dead Kelly.” she’s sobbing.

“Who told you that? Where are you?” I’m crying and my voice is escalating, but he is not dead.

“I’m at his apartment. He won’t wake up.”

“Call a fucking ambulance. What is going on? He is not dead, Erin.”

She answers with incomprehensible sobbing. I hang up and call my dad.

“Hello” his voice is gruff and ragged.

“What is going on?” Someone say something fucking comprehensible.

His mind is racing and I can tell words are falling from his mouth without any thought. “What is going on…let’s see what is going on… is that my only son is dead.”

“Why are you saying that??” I scream. My friend comes in from the other room. She’s telling her husband — my boss, that she needs to go, that something is wrong. I’m sitting on my knees near the door and rocking and sobbing. None of this can possibly be real.

“Why am I saying that? Because he is dead, Kelly.” He almost chuckles at the end. Because it’s so absurd? Because I’m such an unrelenting bitch? He’s exasperated that he had to say it again. I’m exasperated because I still don’t believe him.

“Who told you that?”

“The coroner, Kelly.”

“I want to talk to him. Give me the number.”

My friend is holding me and I’m rocking and saying “no no no no no no” over and over again.

“What’s going on?” she mouths.

“I think… maybe… they’re saying that… that my brother’s dead.”

“Oh my god,” she whispers and wraps her arms around my rocking body.

“Has anyone even called an ambulance?” I’m screaming at my dad as he looks for the number of the coroner.

“Kelly.” He’s angry, or hurt, or annoyed. I don’t know, and I don’t really care. How many times has he been wrong about how many other things? Who is the fixer in this god damn family? — Me. That’s right, me. Give me the god damn coroner’s number and I will find out that he was actually taken to the emergency room. Or that we’re not even talking about the right person. Give me the fucking number. I will find the truth. He finds the number. “I gotta go dad. I’ll figure out what is going on.” I hang up before he can answer.

I dial the coroner. No answer, so I leave a message and wait. Schrodinger’s brother. He’s not dead, but not quite alive.

My friend holds me while we wait for a call back. “I need to go. I need to go home and figure this out.” She understands and I’m out the door on my way to solve this.

[forever-rogue]

Idk if you’re still taking Bucky requests, but I came across a quote and I feel in love with it because it just screamed Bucky to me. It read: “there is nothing as beautiful as seeing someone who has been unlucky, finally being loved so effortlessly by the right person” if this sparks anything in you, I would love to read it 💜

Pairing | Bucky x Fem!Reader

Word Count | 1.9k

Warnings | dad!Bucky, slight language, slight suggestive theme

Masterlists | Bucky, Main

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Bucky bit back a yawn as he closed the car door and headed towards the front door. The smell of spring, the freshly mowed grass and blooming flowers overwhelmed his senses along with the warm summer sun hitting his skin. This was nice, he realized, the calculated simplicity and domestic nature of it all. He hiked his bag on his shoulder, the gold in his vibranium arm glinting brilliantly in the slowly dying light of the day. He didn’t bother to hide it anymore, somehow long past that part of his life. At one point he never thought he’d reach that point in his life and now he had the world in front of him. 

Walking up the stairs, he smiled to himself as he could already smell something delicious cooking through the open windows. In a vain attempt to keep the household from falling into complete and utter chaos, he slowly opened the door and tried to tip-toe inside. He managed to get about two feet inside and kick off his work boots before he heard an exciting squeal followed by a few loud woofs. 

The pitter-patter of two small feet and four paws quickly reached him as Falcon, the trusted family dog, and Emily, your oldest daughter, ran down the hall towards him. Any stress he had remaining quickly melted away at the sight of two of his favorite beings as they almost knocked him over in their rush. 

“Daddy!” an excited shout was followed by another bark. He bent down and scooped the small girl in his arms, the weight of the world off his shoulders as she wrapped her little arms around his neck, “hi daddy, you’re home!”

“Of course I am,” he propped her on his hip and studied her sweet little face. She took after him with his dark unruly hair and ocean eyes, but the rest he swore was all you, especially that sweet smile, “I’ll always come home to my sweetest girl. Did you have a good day, baby?”

“Yeah,” she nodded excitedly as he brushed her hair out of her face and pressed a kiss to the top of her head, “mama and I painted and then we planted some new flowers. She said she picked them out because they reminded her of you!”

“She did, did she?” he couldn’t stop the grin that spread from ear to ear as his heart fluttered in his chest. Even to this day you still managed to make him weak in the knees and set off butterflies in his belly. He held Emily tightly in his grip as he bent down to give Falcon a few pets, causing the dog to rub against his legs as he wagged his tail, “what would I do without my little hellraisers?”

“Mama says that’s a bad word!” Emily looked at him with wide eyes and he chuckled softly before holding a finger to his lips.

“It’s our little secret,” he whispered as she nodded, “do you know why this secret is okay?”

“Because it’s not gonna hurt anyone,” she asked as he nodded. She gave him a wide gap toothed grin as he set her back down, “will you play with me later, daddy? Falcon wants to have a tea party!”

“Of course,” he promised his daughter as she held tightly onto his hand, “now go and get cleaned up for dinner. It smells like it should all be done soon.”

“Okie dokie,” she dropped his hand and motioned for Falcon to follow her instead, practically bouncing up the stairs. 

Bucky sighed in content as he shook his head before slowly making his way into the kitchen where he was sure you were. He found at the island, brows furrowed in concentration as you chopped vegetables for the salad. Your baby boy was slung around your chest, and despite the commotion from Bucky’s entrance, he was fast asleep. A lump welled up in his throat as he watched the sight. It would be nothing special to most people, but to him it was everything.

You looked so beautiful, even in your sweatpants and t-shirt with your hair a chaotic bun as you hummed to the baby under your breath. You looked tired and he felt bad for a moment; leaving you with a toddler and a baby was a ton of work and he would have gladly stayed home with you and helped, but you were insistent that he work if he wanted. You’d never hold it against him, he knew that.

As soon as you sensed you his presence in the kitchen, you turned to him and gave him a soft smile, and his own features softened even more, “hello, my love. I’m so glad you’re so home!”

You set down the knife before slowly making your way over to him, careful not to disturb the baby as he immediately leaned down to kiss you. Your whole body was practically humming from his touch as you stole you a few more kisses, “rough day? You should have called me and I could have come home, honey baby.”

“It wasn’t bad actually,” you promised, watching with nothing but adoration in your eyes as he stroked Stevie’s chubby little cheek, “the chaos duo was on their best behavior today and the little one has been sleeping most of the day. I think he wore himself out from all his fussing last night.”

“Miracles do happen,” he laughed lightly as his hand went to your face and he gently stroked your cheek. You grinned at him, keening into his touch like a cat to the sun, “you are so beautiful.”

“Shut up,” you playfully pushed his chest before hiding your face behind your hands. Funny, how even after all this time he still managed to make you feel nervous and shy, “I’m in my ugliest mom clothes which I’m pretty sure these sweats have permanent puke stains, I haven’t showered today and I look like I haven’t slept in five years. Hardly beautiful.”

“You are the most gorgeous woman I have ever laid eyes on regardless of all of that,” he insisted softly, reaching for your hands and pulling them away from your face. Your whole body flushed with pleasant warmth as you looked into his eyes, “and I love you more than anything in this world.”

“You’re just saying that ‘cause I let you knock me up twice,” you joked as he playfully rolled his eyes, “god, Bucky, how do you still make me feel like this?”

“Like what?” he asked as he slowly moved to undo the sling from your chest and take the baby from you. Stevie made a few small sounds before cuddling up on Bucky’s chest. 

“Like I’m still falling in love with you every day,” you whispered as you leaned in and let him wrap arm around you as well. He kissed the top of your head before sighing in content, “I guess I am. We’re a little different every day - we’re definitely not the same fools from when we first met, huh?”

“I mean, we’re married and have kids, and the whole you know, typical suburban thing going on,” he teased, “so I’d say we’re pretty different. But you’re still my favorite pain in the ass.”

“James!” your eyes widened before the two of you broke into a fit of giggles, “I will get you back for that later!”

“Oh, I definitely count on it,” he promised, “now, go and take a few moments to yourself, shower or whatever, and I’ll finish dinner and get the kiddos and Falcon settled.”

“Whatever would I do without you, my love?”

“I think the better question is what would I do without you, honey baby?”

You blew him a little kiss as you all but ran towards the stairs in order to fit in a quick shower. Sometimes even ten minutes of peace and quiet would suffice. Bucky watched you go with a soft smile on his face, before turning his attention back to his softly cooing son, “your mama’s the best person in this entire world, I hope you always know that.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“What?” you could feel Bucky’s eyes on your back as you brushed your teeth in the bathroom en suite. He was sitting in bed, winding down with some television as he waited for you, “I can feel you checking out the goods, Barnes.”

“That’s because I am,” you could practically hear the cheeky smirk in his voice, “it’s not wrong to admire, is it?”

“You’re too much,” you dried your face off before making your way back over to him. He offered you a lazy smile as he pulled back your side of the blankets and made room for you. You were only wearing his shirt and a pair of old cotton panties but he was watching you like you were the best in this world. Because to him - you were. The end all and be all, “James? What’s wrong, honey?”

“Nothing,” he whispered as he immediately reached for you and gently pulled you into his lap. You made a small sound of surprise but easily gave into his touch, “nothing at all. I’m perfect.”

“Hmm,” you leaned in and pressed a light kiss to his plump lips, gently tugging on his dog tags, “me too. I don’t know if I’ve ever told you this, but I kind of like you a lot.”

“Is that why you married me? Had two kids with me? Got the dog?” he raised a brow as you carded a hand through his dark locks, scratching lightly at his scalp, “I bet it was all for the dog.”

“He didn’t hurt,” you joked, gently stroking his cheek, “but you aren’t so bad either. I love you, Bucky. So much. I hope you know. I hope you know you deserve this, everything we have - the whole world.”

“I…” he paused for a moment, suddenly feeling overwhelmed as you showed him so much tenderness and delicate love, “I love you too.”

“Hey,” you put your hand under your chin and turned his face up towards yours, “I mean it James Buchanan Barnes. You have been through so much, so much that other people forced on you, and you deserve happiness. You deserve all the happiness this world has to offer. I know you have some bad days, and I understand that, but I want you to know I will always be here for you and I will always love you. You are my best friend, my husband, the father of my children, you are my everything.”

“I don’t deserve you,” he took your hand in his and pressed a gentle kiss to your knuckles.

“Yes,” you insisted softly, “you do, James.”

“I-”

“How about for one moment you hush up,” you pushed him back against the headboard and pressed a few gentle, lazy kisses to his lips, “and just listen to me. And let me love you.”

“I love you, honey baby.”

“I love you too, James.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

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[waitimcomingtoo]

In Case You Don’t Live Forever

~chapter two rewritten~

Pairing: Peter Parker x Venom!Reader

Synopsis: you are Peters greatest love and Spider-Man’s greatest enemy

Masterlist and Series Masterlist

Moving and finding an apartment can be an incredibly long and stressful process. Unless you’re you, and life likes to throw a lot of curve balls at you for the utter hell of it.

Your dad dropped dead three weeks after you told Andy you were moving to New York. Coincidentally, right in the middle of you trying to find a place to live. He drank himself to death. Figures. You doubted you’d ever had a conversation with him that he was sober enough to remember. His untimely demise was unfortunate for him, because he died or whatever, but very fortunate for you. As his only child, you got his apartment in Queens and all his smelly hoodies.

You said your goodbyes to Andy and Dani after a night out in the streets of San Francisco. You had originally moved there after high school to start your show, The L/n Report. San Francisco was known for its crimes against the homeless population and you wanted to start with a story on that. You ended up interviewing Andy at the police station while investigating a missing person, and dated him for two years. Now, you were spending your last few hours in San Francisco with the very boy you once loved and the very girl he now did.

“Are you all packed?” Dani asked you, snapping you out of your thoughts.

“Pretty much. I gotta put my toothbrush and hairbrush in my suitcase in the morning. Other than that, I’m good to go.” You answered her. She smiled fondly at you as she linked her arm through yours.

“Hey, I’m really gonna miss you. More than that guy over there.” You whispered, nodding towards Andy, who had his head buried in his phone. Dani laughed and nodded in agreement as you continued to walk.

“I’m going to miss you too. You’re my best friend here.” She sighed sadly.

“I’m glad we’re friends. Most women in our position would hate each other.” You thought out loud.

“Uh uh. You’re thinking of women in films. It’s 2021, baby. Women support women. You and I are two talented, smart, beautiful women who would never be caught fighting over some boy. Especially not one who can’t take his eyes off his phone for two seconds.” Dani said loudly and smacked Andy’s arm. You laughed at the domestic moment but couldn’t help feeling a pain in your heart knowing he used to be that way with you.

“What, sorry?” Andy looked up. You and Dani looked at him before looking at each other and laughing.

“What’s funny?” He asked, growing annoyed.

“We’re laughing at you babe. Put your phone away. It’s Y/N’s last night here.” Dani scolded playfully. Andy sighed and reluctantly put his phone in his pocket.

“Right, sorry. And it’s not her last night here. She’s coming back. You are coming back, right?” He asked you. You nodded, though you weren’t entirely sure.

“Of course I’ll be back.” You shrugged. “I just want to experience something new for a while. I’ve done a million pieces on homelessness and poverty. I want to see what fresh stories New York has to offer.”

“You’re quoting the Daily Bugle, aren’t you?” Dani teased you.

“That is verbatim what they said to me.” You admitted with a laugh. “But hey, it worked. As of tomorrow, I’m the Daily Bugle’s newest investigative reporter.”

“Who are you reporting on anyway?” Andy showed a rare interest in your work.

“Some guy named Cletus Kasady.” You answered. “He’s some hot shot serial killer down in Queens. No one knows how he’s hiding his victims bodies. Apparently none have ever been close to being found.”

“And they want you to write the story on him?” Andy raised an eyebrow, always with the condescending tone.

“Well they heard about the whole Carlton Drake situation and decided I hadn’t been through enough trauma in my career.” You replied, earning a laugh from Dani but not Andy. You and Andy had already broken up by the time Carlton Drake contracted a symbiote and tried to kill you and Venom. You stopped him before he could hurt anyone and wrote a career defining article on his lethal human experiments. You managed to leave out all information regarding symbiotes from the article, so your secret was still safe. You were a fairly well known reporter since the incident and your next job was waiting for you in New York.

In the morning, You and Venom got on a plane and made your way to New York. Being on a plane with Venom turned out to be the equivalent to traveling with a toddler. You tried to sleep, but every two seconds you had to stop Venom from getting into trouble. She kept trying to open the window, even after you explained to her that everyone on the plane would die horrible death if the window were to open.

“Stop that.” You whispered when you noticed a black tendril creeping towards the window. The lady in the seat next to you shot me a look of confusion. You gave her a fake smile and turned back to the window, doing your best to conceal the small black tendril that was coming out of your body and fidgeting with the airplane window.

“We want it open.” Venom replied telepathically.

“Do you also want us to blow out of the plane and into space?” You said through my teeth.

“We didn’t anticipate that but it’d be appreciated.” Venom answered, making you groan. The rest of the plane ride followed in similar fashion.

Seven hours later, you arrived at the apartment building. You had never been to your dads apartment, you didn’t even know he had one. You wondered what happened to your childhood home as you looked around the place. The apartment wasn’t too small but not too big either. The rent was practically nothing compared to how expensive San Francisco was, and The Daily Bugle offered to cover your expenses until the story was done. You figured after some redecorating and moving in, it would make a fine new home.

The first seven days in the apartment went by smoothly. You unpacked, with little to no help from Venom, and set up the furniture. On the eight day, you sat on the couch, aimlessly flipping through channels in the TV when you had a thought.

“Oh shit.” You said out loud.

“What?” Venom, who was curly nestled around your neck like a neck pillow, asked.

“I forgot mail exists.” You frowned. “We better go check the mailbox before it overflows.”

You and Venom grudgingly walked to the mailboxes and back again. No one was around, so she manifested herself and rested on your shoulder as I looked through the mail.

“Oops. I grabbed someone else’s mail too.” You clicked your tongue when you read a strangers name off the envelope. “I gotta find them.”

“Let’s go.” Venom said and pulled you towards the front door.

“Sorry, babe. This is a me thing, not a we thing. You know I love you but I don’t want to scare our neighbors. Not yet anyway.” You reasoned. Venom grumbled and went back inside your body.

You checked the address of the envelope and discovered that it belonged to the apartment directly across from you.

You knocked on the door and patiently waited for someone to open it as you mindlessly cracked your knuckles. Just as you were about to walk away, the door opened.

“Hi, are you May Parker?” You asked right away. You looked up from the envelope and your face instantly flushed. The person staring back at you definitely wasn’t May Parker. It was a boy around your age, maybe a little younger. He had soft brown eyes and wavy brown hair. It was gelled back loosely and you could see the outline of soft curls. To your surprise, he was just as flushed as you were. You stared at each other for a moment, no one wanting to be the first to blink.

“Yea. I’m May Parker.” The boy said finally. He shut his eyes in embarrassment and shook his head.

“I mean, no I’m not. But that’s my Aunt. May is my Aunt but I’m not May. That’s my Aunt May. I’m her nephew…obviously. Aunt May is my Aunt May. I…what?” He stumbled over his words and somehow turned even redder. His blush reached all the way down his neck, to his blue jumper that read “Midtown Tech” in yellow letters. You recognized the name of one of the most prestigious high schools in New York, already impressed with your new neighbor.

“Well hello, not May Parker. I’m also not May Parker. But I seemed to forget that when I grabbed your mail this morning. Sorry about that.” You said sheepishly as you handed his mail to him. The boy rubbed the back of his neck as he looked at it and attempted to redeem himself.

“It’s not problem. She and I always forget to check the mail so you actually helped us, um, whoever you are.” He smiled weakly. His voice was cute. He had that Queens accent that the people of San Francisco lacked, for obvious reasons.

“Oh, right.” You laughed in embarrassment. “I’m Y/N L/N. I just moved here from San Francisco. I live across the hall.”

You pointed to the door behind you as if he didn’t know what “across the hall” meant. You didn’t know what was wrong with you. You were never this awkward.

His eyes lit up a bit once you told him where you lived.

“Really? I thought that smelly guy lived there.” The boy said and you stifled a laugh.

“That smelly guy was my father. He died a little while ago so I live there now.” You told him, malign the boys eyes widen. They were so brown. Like little pools of honey. Or little pools of the Hudson River. You had seen a million pairs of brown eyes before, but none like his. They were quite distracting to be honest.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry! I had. I had no idea-“ he began to frantically apologize but you cut him off.

“Don’t worry about it. We never got along. And you’re right, that man stank.” You chuckled. It was the first thing you said that felt like your old self. You hadn’t really talked to anyone since moving to New York, with the exception of Venom and the occasional phone call from Andy or Dani. You liked talking to this boy, though you still had no idea who he was.

“Oh thank God. I thought I screwed this up before it even went anywhere.” He immediately turned red when he heard his own words. You saw the regret in his eyes and decided to throw him a bone.

“Well it certainly can’t go anywhere until you tell me your name.” You flirted. Again, he relaxed. You felt a surge of confidence knowing he wanted this to go well.

“Parker. I’m Parker Peter. I mean, Peter Parker.” He fumbled over his words again, making you smile fondly.

“We like him. He’s cute.” Venom said telepathically. You looked down at my shoes and blushed, knowing you liked him too.

“And he looks delicious.” She added, ruining the moment.

“It’s nice to meet you Peter Parker.” You gave him your best smile. “I’m glad there’s someone my age around here. Everyone I’ve met so far is either an old bitty or a creepy uncle type.” You regretted it as soon as it left your mouth. You didn’t know what his sense of humor was like and he might not find you the slightest but funny. Andy always told you you were bad at telling jokes, and you feared he might be right.

Lucky for you, Peter burst out laughing.

“Ah. I’ve seen you’ve met Henry.” Peter pointed a finger down the hall. “Yeah, I’d stay away from him. He asked me if he could have pictures of my feet once. He said he’d “pay me handsomely” for it too.”

“Damn. So he beat me to asking you.” You pretended to be upset, which made Peter laugh again. The sound of his laugh made your heart pick up speed. You weren’t used to feeling like this. Boys rarely impressed you, Andy was just lucky you liked a man in uniform.

“Yeah. You better stay away from him.” Peter advised.

“It might be hard.” You clicked your tongue. “Our mailboxes are pretty close. I’ll make a mental note to never check my mail while wearing flip flops, though.”

Peter smiled at your joke. He had the kind of smile that you would make the person laugh just to see it again. It was brilliant.

“Well my mailbox should be directly above yours. So don’t worry, I’ll protect you.” He grinned, and you grinned back.

“My hero.” You gushed as you put your hands over your heart. The tips of his ears went pink, like he was shocked that you said that.

“I’m no hero.” He sounded almost panicked, like you touched a nerve or something.

“We’re hungry. We need to eat.” Venom interrupted abruptly, causing you to jump. Since Peter couldn’t hear her, he looked at you strangely, not knowing the cause of your sudden jolt.

“Sorry, I uh, I thought I saw a spider.” You lied.

“If there was a spider, we’d eat it. We need food. Now.” Venom demanded.

Peter looked up at his doorframe for the imaginary spider.

“Yeah, New York is full of them.” Peter said skeptically. “Not that full, though. And some spiders are nice. One might even call them friendly.”

“Right.” You laughed at his strange wording, unaware that you were both keeping a secret.

“Would…” Peter began but trailed off, seemingly mulling something over in his head. “Would you like to eat dinner with my Aunt and I? I remember when we first moved in, it took us a while to get into the swing of things and make dinner every night. If you like, you could join us. And, you know, we could get to know each other.” He offered. It all came out in one breath. You could tell he was nervous and that only drew you in more.

“I’d love to Peter.” You said, and he smiled in relief.

“Great.” He gave an awkward thumbs up. “We usually eat around six so maybe come around then? She’ll be so happy to meet you. She loves cooking and she always tries to get me to learn but I once burnt cereal and I still don’t know how.” Peter began to ramble. He cut himself off and shook his head again. “Sorry. I’m rambling.”

Then, you did something stupid. You put your hand on his arm like the dumb bitch you were. You barely knew this guy. Who the hell were you to touch him? He must’ve been thinking the same thing, since he instantly froze under your touch and stared at your hand on his arm.

“Don’t apologize. I can’t cook either. Unless you count making tater tots as cooking. Then I’m Gordon Ramsey.” You assured him, feeling him relax under your touch.

“You’re just gonna mention tater tots without warning us first? Our mouth is watering. Can we eat Peter?” Venom asked, making your eyes widen.

If it was socially acceptable to scream at your symbiote in public, you would’ve yelled “NO, WE CANNOT EAT PETER” from the top of your lungs. But since you didn’t want to scare Peter and the rest of the neighbors away, you merely smiled and made another mental note to smack the shit out of Venom later.

“I love that man. “Where is the lamb sauce?” Peter mimicked in a bad British accent. He had no right being as charming as he was.

“No no no.” You shook your head. “His best line is “I’ll get you more pumpkin and I’ll ram it right up your ass. Would you like it whole or diced?”. He’s said some pretty wild things but that one makes me cry.”

Peters laugh rang through the halls. To be the cause of that laugh was a feeling like no other. You stood there for a while, just looking at each other. His eyes grazed down your body, but not in a crude way. You berated yourself for not dressing better when going to meet the neighbors, clad in nothing but a grey hoodie and some leggings. Peter looked cute, but you had a feeling he always did. His jumper was pretty baggy and you could see a collared shirt poking out the top. He was dressed almost professionally and you found it incredibly endearing.

You wanted to know more about him. You wanted to know his secrets and his hobbies and what makes him itch. You wanted to see if he dresses this way on weekends too or what his summer clothes looked like. Your gawking was interrupted by Peters phone ringing. He broke out of his trance and answered it quickly.

“Hi, Mr. S. No I’m not busy. I mean, I’m super busy but I can totally make time for you. Yea, Happy talked to me. Okay. Okay. Where? Okay. See you in a bit.” Peter hung up and looked at you apologetically.

“That was my job. I have to run but I’ll be back in time for our dinner. I live at…you know where I live. I’ll see you then. Don’t be late.” Peter called as he ran down the hallway, towards the elevator.

“I won’t. See you later.” You called back.

You went back to your apartment and like a kid, broke out into a happy dance.

“Venom!! Did you see how cute he was?” You gushed. “And how funny he is? I have to get ready for tonight.”

Venom manifested and swirled around my arm.

“Someone has a crush.” Venom smirked. Well, as much of a smirk as she could muster with that huge mouth of hers.

“I don’t have a crush. I just think he’s cute okay?” You replied coyly. “Cute. And funny and sweet and charming and amazing. But that’s it.”

“We can feel your heart beat.” Venom reminded you. “It was going ten miles an hour. What would Andy say?”

You had been rummaging through your closet and stopped in your tracks. With Peters new inhabitance in your mind, you had forgotten all about Andy. You moved to New York to avoid his wedding and his moving on, and you might’ve succeeded.

“I don’t care what he’d say.” You decided. “He’s not my boyfriend.”

“But we want him to be.” Venom insisted. “We want him back, remember?”

“I don’t know what I want.” You answered honestly. “I just want to get ready for tonight.”

“Why are you getting ready now? You have 5 hours until you have to be there and it’s right across the hall.” Venom teased.

“Only 5 hours?” You sighed. “We better get moving.”