#to how much you stan namjoon

[mintchochipkookie]

kim namjoon for world president when

[i-am-baechu]

Summary: Everything was perfect until it wasn’t. Y/N and Jungkook love each other but when familiar and new faces come into their lives, things get complicated. On top of that, a surprise that truly shakes their plans for the future. Will their relationship push forward or will Jungkook lose his fangirl once and for all?

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Epilogue

→ Genre: Idol au, established relationships, girl group stan au, social media au, K-pop fan page au, romance, angst, comedy, and smut

→ Main pairing: Idol! Jungkook x Fan girl! Reader 

→ Side ships: Yoongi x OC & Jin x OC

→ Warnings: Explicit language, smut, mature themes, alcohol usage, anxiety disorder, stalking, and obsessive behavior

Author's note: I can’t believe this is the ending of the story! Don’t worry there's going to be an after story with the drabbles and the final book but for now...here's the last chapter! 

⇜ Masterlist 

“Solo?”

Jungkook turned toward Y/N and nodded his head, “We’re not disbanding, just taking a hiatus and focusing on our solo careers.” 

After a long meeting, Jungkook was excited to come home to his fiancée. It was a long meeting discussing the future of everyone. Everyone agreed they wanted to do their own music and Jungkook wanted to focus more on Y/N. It would be the first real break he had with her and his music can wait. 

Y/N nodded her head and placed her hand on top of his, “Are you okay with it?”

“Of course I am. I get to spend so much time with my fiancée.” 

She smiled shyly at this and gently rubbed his knuckles with her thumb, “fiancée..it still hasn’t set in.” 

“Babe, it’s been two months already.” 

She shrugged her shoulders and glanced at a sleeping Bam, “I’m really getting married...that’s crazy to say.” She looked back at him with a smile, “I bet Mae is happy about this. Yoongi gets to spend time with-” Just then Bam jumped up on the couch and nuzzled into Y/N.

Jungkook glared and shook his head, “Always trying to steal my girl. It’s not fair.”

“We're engaged, Jungkook.” 

“Doesn’t matter. Bam will always find a way.” 

Mae turned around in the bed and smiled at Yoongi who was already looking at her. He pushed some hair back and kissed her forehead, “How are you feeling?” 

Mae let out a small chuckle and nuzzled into her pillow some more, “I feel like my pussy got ripped in half but other than that good.”

Yoongi let out a laugh and kissed her hairline, “Thank you for giving me everything I didn’t know I wanted.”

She wrapped her arms around his waist and nuzzled into his chest, “Thank you for making me want kids.” 

Just then a small cry echoed from the baby monitor and Mae groaned. Yoongi patted her waist and pushed the covers off, “I’ll get him. Ye-Joon probably just needs his diapers changed.” 

Mae nodded her head and smiled at her, “Okay, daddy.”

Yoongi glared at her and shook his head, “Don’t start with that shit.” 

“Wait, come here real quick.”

Yoongi thought something was wrong and quickly made his way back to her. She smirked and brought him in for a quick kiss making his eyes go wide. When they pulled away she put her forehead on his, “I love you so much, Min Yoongi.” 

“I love you, Mae Rodriguez.”

The cry echoed longer and she let out a small laugh, “Go get our son before he breaks our eardrums.” 

“I’ll get our son.” Yoongi walked towards his bedroom but he turned back to Mae and his heart fluttered. He shook his head with a small laugh escaping his lips and he closed the door gently. 

Eunbi opened her door and she raised her eyebrow at what she saw, “Namjoon? Why are you here?” 

Namjoon sighed and pulled out a card from his jacket, “Jin wanted me to give you this.” 

Eunbi tilted her head and nodded her head, “This isn’t going to kill me, right?”

“Why would your boyfriend want to kill you?”

“Right...” She opened the card and a smile appeared, Go to the park! She looked at Namjoon with a curious look, “Do you know about this?”

“I never know what Jin wants to do.”

“You can come in and get a snack if you want.” 

Namjoon shook his head and brought his jacket to him, “I’m alright. I’d rather not be here when you guys have sex.” 

Eunbi’s face turned red and furrowed her eyebrows, “Yah! Don’t say that so loud. My neighbors are old.”

“Lucky, at least they don’t have to hear anything.” 

After kicking Namjoon out, Eunbi took her away to the park next to her apartment. She was dressed in her pajamas which consisted of sweats and one of Jin’s shirts. She pulled her beanie down more when she felt the wind touching her face. She rolled her eyes at herself, she should’ve put a jacket on. She walked further down and she stopped in her tracks to see Jin with a bouquet of roses and balloons. She raised her eyebrow and let out a small laugh, “What’s going on?” 

He pulled down his mask and gave her a smile, “Happy three months.” 

She looked up at him and felt her heart beating faster, “That’s tomorrow?” 

“I know...I couldn’t wait to see you.” 

She let out a laugh and walked closer to her as he did the same. She looked up at him as he stared back down with heart eyes, “All this for out three months?” 

“Just wait and see our first anniversary.” 

“You're already planning that? We just started dating...” 

He shrugged his shoulders and bent down placing a quick kiss on her lips. She jumped at the sudden contact but she closed her eyes to kiss back. When they pulled away and he smiled at her, “I have so much planned for us. I told you, I saw my future with you.”

“All those rom-coms couldn’t prepare me for this.” 

He let out a laugh and glanced at her apartment, “I’ll cook you something. To celebrate tonight and tomorrow I’ll take you out to this fancy restaurant.” 

“You treat me right.”

“Of course my duchess.” 

Jungkook closed the door and saw Y/N on her phone on their bed. He smiled at this and took off his shirt, tossing it aside. She glanced up from her phone and smiled, “Is Bam sleeping?”

“Yeah, I was wondering...when was the last time we fucked?” 

Y/N straighten her back against the headboard, “I-I...maybe two weeks.” 

He glanced at her with a smirk, “That’s a long time. Wanna change that?” 

“I think it would be romantic to have one last night in this house before moving.” 

Jungkook moved towards her and was hovering over her, “That’s right. We’re moving. Isn’t that exciting?”

She felt goosebumps appear when she felt his fingers against her thigh, “I-It’s very exciting-” She wanted to speak but he kissed her making her forget everything. She ran her hands along his arms and then over his shoulders to steady herself. She played with his locks because they pulled away. Jungkook touched her like she was glass and she couldn’t stop her heart beating, “I love you so much.” 

He brushed his lips over her next and her breathing started to get uneven. She felt her body heat up as she enjoyed his kisses. He took any fabric that was covering her body and she couldn’t help but look away from that smile he always has when he sees her like this. He started to trailed his lips down to her neck and then her collarbone as he gazed up. His eyes were a darker shade of brown and she knew what it meant. She knew what his eyes told her, this was her fiancé after all. He continued to leave kisses on her skin until he reached between her thighs. His hot breath against her cold skin sent shivers. He wrapped his arms around her thighs keeping her close to his face, his fiancée was shy, especially with this action. 

She held onto his brown strands as she felt her body move against him. Each kiss and lick made her back arch in a way that made the air in the room thicker. She could feel a few strands of sweat coming down as her legs trembled under his touch. His tongue was always enough for her. Moments later, the trembling increased as his tongue rushed in. 

He leaned over and kissed, his lips always felt soft and always filled with love. She placed her hand on his cheek and rubbed his cheek gently, “You always make me feel good.” 

“You make me feel good. Physically and emotionally. Always make me feel loved, my wife.” 

He hugged her body close to his and she was surprised by the action but she understood. After everything they've been through, this moment was more than a declaration of love. It was a declaration of a better future. She let her nails gently scratch his skin and he left kisses against his shoulder. She moaned out his name as he moved in and out of her. It was intimate, so intimate. He placed his temple against her and they made eye contact, “You are so perfect...perfect for me. My Y/N.” 

She felt her heart swell up at this and she had to stop herself from crying. This man was her everything and she couldn’t believe that this man was all hers. Forever and ever. She pushed some hair away from his sweaty forehead and gave him a shy smile, “I love you Jeon Jeongguk.” 

He smiled and kissed her as she wrapped her arms around his neck to bring him closer. She felt herself tighten and the familiar tremble came over, “Come, love.” 

She tilted her head and moaned out his name as she came inside of her. Both eyes met and she could see the love pouring out, “Are you ready for the future?”

“If you're in it, I’m ready for anything.” 

Somewhere in Florida....

He glanced down at the news article on his phone and let out a scoff, “She’s getting married to him?” 

The woman in front of him nodded her head, “A lot of people support them but there's a small group that doesn’t like it.” 

He tossed his phone on the dinner table and glanced out to the waves, “What do you want me to do about it?” 

“Every bride needs her father...go visit her.” 

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Tag List:

@agustdpeach @mdavt @aloverga @drissteele @xngelsau

[not-goldy]

the thing is I'm sure jimin was suffering too during the months jungkook was working nonstop like july,september,october,november

I'm sure he missed jungkook just as much he's just way more lowkey about it and would never showcase it online

just different types of people

I don't disagree

He's either better at pretending things don't bother him when they do or better at processing negative feelings as and when they arise because if it were me, FAM🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

The whole world is about to know.

The in laws will know

The siblings will know

The ancestors will know

The pastor will know

Even your therapist will hear about it.

I'll call into radio shows and air our business cos you are not about to make me the broken hearted girl😌

And missing someone who isn't reaching out to you is a whole other level of pain Jesus 😕 💔

Forget the ego

It's your self respect vs your emotional needs and feeding one destroys the other. You don't know pain till you've been put in that tormenting situation.

And it makes a lot of sense why dude keeps complaining about chronic loneliness dude been repressing so much it's alienating😭😭😭😭😭

I want to go to therapy with Jimin😭😭😭😭😭😭

There's a lot we both need to work through

And I feel he's wrapped himself in so much principles it's barring him from expressing certain things certain very human things that's now working against him.

He set himself up and now he gotta hide certain things and certain feelings

Imagine telling Jungkook he's childish for throwing tantrums when he misses you- now you gotta be the better person and live as an example when you in the same situation otherwise you no better🥴

Imagine constantly setting yourself up like that. Imagine feeling you have to be the better and bigger person in every situation because you feel your whole life is an example to others.

He has that first born curse and 1st born syndrome. He expects too much of himself and he's allowed those around him from the BTS group to his fans to have the same high expectations of him.

I'm not mad at that except it can be draining and exhausting and a lonely experience cos not too many can relate.

And people wonder why his solos are the way they are constantly making up ridiculous unsustainable unattainable standards for both him and others to follow, constantly putting him on a pedestal and acting shook if he goes off even a little bit.

Meanwhile he's only human and humans aren't perfectly flawed. ITS OKAY TO HAVE FLAWS you know??

I'm glad Jk spoke about Namjoon admitting he didn't know what to do with Jk. When it was happening and I spoke about it people came for me. I recall people making such a big fuss about me saying Namjoon gives of elitist energy (much like PJMs) and was constantly having at it with Jungkook because he wouldn't fall in line while Jimin would.

I said this before, Jimin made his leadership so easy for him because people like that do not stirr shit up. They are predictable easy to manage and easy to deal with.

And I recall saying they were constantly looking up to Jimin to set the pace and keep Jungkook in check and how that was a lot for a teen- because Jimin was a teen too.

That expectation of perfectionism is crazy. I'm not a fan of anyone who expects that of Jimin- particularly his solo stans. Namjoon can get away with it, he's tall.

Dude didn't want to be bothered he just wanted an easy tenure of office and Jungkook was anything but. It's why he will always write him letters and always invest energy into repairing their dynamic and why he would always feel he owes Jungkook an apology.

And Suga is right in telling him never mind. Embrace your self the whole of yourself it's okay to make mistakes it's okay to be flawed

You don't gotta live life in a constant teacher mood where you feel every aspect of you is a curated lesson for others.

And I'm glad he explored this theme in his 1st album but please Jimin, let's go to therapy 😩

We have so much to work on baby

Or who knows, may be he's just super human and I'm wrong🥴

[struggle-but-its-all-ocean-floor]

I've been feeling like ranting and writing stuff, so here I am lmao. I'm going to get called a Jimin anti again, but whatever. I love Jimin. I love his personality and think he's an angel. My complaints don't make me love him less. They aren't even really about him.

Anyway, not to sound bitter and like I'm deep in twitter bullshit, but I've felt a bit annoyed these days over how much support Jimin got from Army which his albums over the other members. In my For You page I see tons of random OT7 accounts, and the energy when Jimin has releases vs. the other members can be crazy, even compared to the maknae line. LC never caught on like Seven, or had the same advantages, but still got n.1 on the Hot 100 because the fandom was truly committed to it. People were buying and streaming Face like crazy. There were so many posts about it. I get it, because it was the first time Army thought we had a shot at a n.1, but I don't remember seeing this frenzy for V or JK. When SGMB came out, I was really not expecting it to do so well, but maybe that was timing too. Army was not about to let Lisa "win", and I think that had a significant impact on his results. Regardless, now that Muse has been released, I see so many posts about streaming and sales from OT7 accounts, and I don't remember seeing it for Jungkook. I say Jungkook because he's my bias so I follow him more closely. I know Jkkrs say this too, so I can't be sure if I'm being biased or just getting seeing OT7 accounts that don't represent the whole. I also know Jimin has a large fanbase on twitter. Still, the way I see it, it's like Army has positioned Jimin as an "underrated member". There were so many (valid) posts about mistreatment that there was no one in the kpop community who didn't know he was releasing Muse. It's like fans go out of their way to support Jimin because he's very popular, hence will get good results, yet he's perceived as less popular than JK and V, so he needs more support... I don't expect Army to make the same effort for all the members, and the hyung line definitely does not get the same support as the maknae line, but one thing is for one member to have a stronger fanbase than others, and another is for Armys who don't even bias Jimin to put in more of an effort for him than they would other members. It makes me feel a bit upset, but hyung line stans would tell me I have no right to complain lmao.

I'm just going to continue ranting, but about Jikook now. Again, I see random OT7 accounts on my timeline, and literally the only people who talk about Jikook are Jikookers??? If V and Jimin hug there are immediately multiple posts about them being "in love", "soulmates" or "married". If Jungkook smiles at Namjoon, you'll see dozens of tweets about how JK is in love with Namjoon, blah blah... But it's like Armys completely ignore Jikook. They don't post about the travel show, they can't even see how close they are! It's so fucking ridiculous. I read all kinds of exaggerated takes on the members' dynamics, but the most "sus" dynamic of all never makes noise outside Jikookers? How?!

[solarwynd]

armys hyping the bare minimum of support but come for jimin out of all the members when most of the others have been active for months on insta. supporting golden even when they knew scooter was a zionist. namjoon and taehyung have been posting so much since enlisting yet armys want to come for jimin for a yearly donation he does. it's funny because as soon as it was the member they don't care about as much donating to education even when he isn't active, they lunged for him in particular.

It’s all about the hypocrisy for me. If you feel disappointment in them not speaking up or wishing they would that’s completely fine I’ve seen a few pjms express that sentiment towards Jimin and there’s no problem there. But some armys and kpop stans are going out their way to tear into him over this like he committed a crime. This crusade against him right now is so disingenuous and it’s pissing me off cause no matter how serious something is, people always manage to tie it back to beef they have with idols or kpop twitter.

[borathae]

↳ Index [Chapter 37 - Heilmittel]

• Heilmittel (German, cure)

Warnings: scary dark underground tunnels, violence in the form of stabbing, so many tears too

Wordcount: 8.1k

a/n: i don’t care what anyone says, writing OC acting like that is so much fun. we stan a slightly mad queen, she’s so hot for that hahahah

“Sweetest, you are back”, Taehyung greets you atop the marvel stairs, hurrying down in light steps, “you look well-rested. How were your days by the coast?” he asks.

Jimin is atop the stairs as well, appearing after having heard Taehyung call out for you. He is still in his painting clothes, cheek covered in the remnants of a light sky blue.

“Yeah, yeah they were good. Really good. I can’t stay for long, I have to test something out”, you dismiss him, slipping out of your coat quickly with his help.

Taehyung, who wanted to lean in for a sweet kiss, gets denied as you hurry past him with nothing but the cellar in mind.

“So…it didn’t help”, Taehyung says with utter heartbreak in his voice, dropping your coat on the ground as his body sinks into itself in defeat.

“Don’t run away! Taehyung asked you a question”, Jimin calls out, placing a protective arm over Taehyung’s shoulder. He even tries to make himself bigger by puffing out his chest.

“What?” you stop, looking over your shoulder, “oh no, they helped. I finally figured it out, Tae. I know what to do.”

“What?”

“I know what to do. I can save Yoongi”, you say and smile before turning away to hurry to the cellar.

The vampires follow you.

“How did you figure it out? Where are we going? What are you doing?” Taehyung asks.

“The cellar, I have to test it out before I actually do it”, you tell him, unlocking the door with the keys you keep in the dresser just next to the heavy door.

“So that is where you keep those keys. How is that possible? I looked into those drawers a dozen times before and they were always empty”, Taehyung mumbles.

“Protection spell. I hid them for everyone but me”, you explain, lighting the torches with a snap of your fingers. They flicker to life one by one until the entire staircase is lit, now guiding your eyes into the blinding darkness down below.

“Why would you hide them?”

“Because I couldn’t have you guys finding them and taking them away from me. I know you would have tried something like that.”

“I wouldn’t-“, Taehyung stops talking when you send him a look over your shoulder. Flustered, he fixes his gaze to the side, “-I would have had very good reason for doing it”, he gives in, “just like I still do. I told you to find relaxation by the coast and what did you do? You continued thinking about it.”

“Technically we didn’t go to the coast”, you explain, lighting the torches in the cellar as well. They flicker on one by one, guiding the way to the heavy iron gate at the end of the long corridor. Groaning of your captives greets your ears as you pass them. Like always you stop in your steps to cast your eyes on the wall behind which – and three more heavy doors – Namjoon is living out his eternal sentence. Like always you lower your eyes in pure hatred, but today, only today, you dare to add just a hint of glee in it. You found a cure. Namjoon lied. You didn’t lose everything. You fucking won.

“What do you mean by that?” Taehyung rips you back to reality by gripping your shoulder tightly to turn you to him. His worried eyes meet yours, “where else did you go?”

“Back to Meredith and then my grandmother’s house.”

“What?” Taehyung gasps, looking over his shoulder at Jungkook, “did, did you know about that?”

“It was my idea”, Jungkook says, “I’m sorry, but I couldn’t give up Yoongi either.”

“Well, neither do I! I want Yoongi’s return just as much as you do. But I trusted in you to keep her distracted. She needed some time away from all of this and you dragged her right into it again”, Taehyung’s voice is raised. He points his finger at Jungkook, “when you told me that you will take her because you can see how stressed I am, this was a lie wasn’t it? You didn’t want me to have some distance from her, you wanted to take her to Meredith. You, you deceived me.”

“I didn’t deceive you. I just…I wanted you to have some time away from all of this, I really did and then you had that idea for the trip and I knew that I could combine it with my own plans. My initial plans were to take ___ and leave one night without telling you guys.”

“Oh my god”, Taehyung stumbles back, “you are all a bunch of deceiving liars.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to lie to you. I really didn’t”, Jungkook insists, stepping closer to take Taehyung’s hands but Jimin stops him with a firm hand on his chest.

“This is close enough”, he grumbles with a grim expression.

“Seriously?”

“Yes. Seriously.”

Jungkook studies Jimin’s face and gives up with a sigh, “Tae baby, I’m sorry. I didn’t want to hurt you, but I did and I’m sorry for that. I really am.”

“No. I’m too upset to forgive you right now”, Taehyung says, turning away from Jungkook and you, “I’m leaving. I can’t take another one of your lies.”

You stop him.

“My darling”, you say calmly, touching his chest. He is breathing heavily, letting you know just how upset over your betrayal he was, “I know you feel hurt and betrayed right now, but please stay with me for a little while longer. I promise you, it will all make sense soon.”

“No. I can’t bear to watch you fall further and further into madness.”

“Please trust me”, you insist, “I need you with me on this one, please.”

“As did I”, Taehyung wipes your hands off his chest on a swift and angry movement, “I needed you to go to the coast and relax and yet you didn’t.”

“I did. I relaxed, I promise you. I, I slept and ate and talked to my grandmother and I feel refreshed.”

Taehyung scoffs, shaking his head, “you told me that she died years ago.”

“Yes, but we saw her. I’m serious. We actually saw her.”

“More lies. How wonderful”, Taehyung exclaims, throwing his hands over his head in defeat, “now you’re thinking me a complete fool.”

“Tae, hey look at me”, you cup his face even if he flinches back at first, “I’m not lying to you. We saw her. We visited her in this weird world somewhere between my memories and the spirit realm and we spent two days at her home and once we woke up again, two days actually passed, but my body didn’t feel tired. It felt as if I truly took a vacation at her home.”

“I never even heard of this being possible.”

“Neither did I. But it happened and, and she finally gave me what I needed all this time. She gave me an answer, Tae.”

“I don’t believe you. You, you most definitely passed out again and, and hallucinated. You’re losing your mind to the research, please ___ just relax for once, please.”

“I will. After I freed Yoongi, I will finally relax. I promise you”, you say, “please trust me. One last time. Please.”

“I don’t know if I can”, Taehyung whispers with heartbreak in his voice and his shoulder sagging from all the weight of emotion dragging him down.

“Please? Just one more time.”

“And if it won’t work?”

“It will, trust me. It will work. This time around it will work.”

“And if it won’t?” Taehyung insists, furrowing his brows in desperate anger.

“Then….I don’t know”, you say, whispering your next words with trembling in your voice, “then you get the satisfaction of telling me that I have gone mad.”

“I wouldn’t find satisfaction in telling you that! Each word I speak about your madness pierces my heart with glowing blades”, Taehyung’s eyes fill with tears, “I’m dying slowly because of the pain, ___. Seeing you fail again would bring me no satisfaction.”

“I know”, you take Taehyung’s trembling hands, “trust me, I know and, and I don’t want to hurt you. I just…need you to come with me one last time, please.”

“Fine”, Taehyung gives up, hissing the word at you, “I will come with you, but I won’t find enjoyment in it. Know that much.”

“Thank you”, you whisper, guiding his knuckles to your lips to kiss them softly, “I don’t take your support for granted.”

Taehyung pulls his hands free and takes a step back, “just take me wherever you want to go”, he says coldly.

“Come. Follow me, I’ll lead the way”, you say and after grabbing a torch you turn to strut away in big steps.

Taehyung draws close to Jimin. You hear the latter ask him if he was okay to which Taehyung gives him no answer, but you figure that he either shook or nodded his head. You may know the answer already, feeling too guilty to dwell on it any longer. You really do feel for Taehyung and you understand where he is coming from, but you are so close to making everything right. You are so close to making your family whole again and to bring Yoongi back. You can’t fix the thing with Taehyung when the solution to fixing everything was so close.

Jungkook tries to hold Taehyung’s hand, but the latter merely pulls his hand away before that could happen. So Jungkook walks next to Taehyung with sagging shoulders and a big pout on his lips. He feels really fucking guilty too. He never wanted to hurt Taehyung.

You stop when you reach the iron gate, pulling out the big black key to unlock it.

“Are you out of your mind? You can’t go in there”, Taehyung gasps, reaching out to stop you but too late.

The gate opens with a loud squeak.

“It’s okay. I know my way around.”

“What? How?”

“I spent too many nights down here.”

“What?” even Jungkook sounds surprised at your confession.

Yes, you will go there. You will reveal your greatest secret to them. Perhaps you are acting irrationally and perhaps you are making a huge mistake, but you have never felt as much hope as you do right now. If anyone can solve your problem then it must be your grandmother. She must be right with what she told you. And because she was right, you feel confident in revealing your greatest secret to them. You won’t be needing it anymore after today. Because you will have Yoongi back.

“How is this possible? We told you to stay out of those tunnels. They are dangerous.”

“Oh I know, trust me”, you say and laugh breathily, “I met the danger, but they’re not here anymore.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means”, you look over your shoulder. Shadows swallow half of your face while the other side is illuminated by the fading shine of the torches way, way back. “it means that they’re not here anymore.”

“How can we understand that?” Jimin asks.

The three vampires take a small cautionary step back upon watching your lips curl into an almost menacing smile, “I made them safe”, you say and snicker darkly.

“Oh.”

You turn your face away from them again and continue your confident walk.

“Careful of that one though”, you say, pointing down a dark tunnel of nothingness, “there’s water in this one. It reaches up to my chin at the third step. I think that there’s a whole system down there which will never be entered by people again.”

The vampires look into the darkness. You were right. You may not be able to see it, but those steps lead into deep, cold water. It sends shivers of fear down their spines. Sometimes seeing what the darkness hides is scarier than the darkness in itself.

“Where are we going anyway?” Jungkook asks.

“The round room.”

���What?” Jungkook’s loud exclaim echoes throughout the entire system, bouncing off the walls and returning to your ears as loud and messy voices, “why would we go back there?”

“Because this is where it is.”

“Where what is? What are you talking about?”

“You’ll see. It’s not far anymore.”

“You’re seriously giving me the creeps”, Jimin murmurs.

“Don’t be scared, it’s just me”, you assure him with just enough mindlessness in your voice that it sounds dishonest.

“Yeah fucking exactly”, he whispers just quietly enough that you can’t hear him. He intertwines his fingers with Taehyung, holding his hand as tightly as possible.

“What were you doing in the round room?” Taehyung asks you, following you as you take a sharp turn into a side tunnel. The air smells like rotting flesh.

“Careful now, there’s some…” you let out a scoff, shaking your head, “just be careful with what you breathe in.”

“What did you do?”

“It’s not far anymore”, you ignore Jimin’s question, “oh, I’m so excited. You guys won’t even believe how excited I am. This is everything I fucking wanted for months. Fucking victory. Yes!”

Jimin actually yells in shock because of your loud exclaim, hiding behind Taehyung.

You whip around, grinning at them. The flames contort your face into a mask of madness.

“I’m fucking winning. Namjoon was wrong, I didn’t lose. He did”, you laugh loudly, pointing your finger into the direction of where Namjoon is captured far far away, “today is the day where he will finally see that he was wrong.”

“What, what do you mean?”

“Victory, my friends”, your lips curl into a crazed smile, “victory will be ours today.”

“O-okay?”

“What’s wrong?” you ask, tilting your head to the side. You step closer, “what’s wrong?” you repeat your question, squinting your eyes as you study them. “Why are you all holding hands?”

“We uhm, we aren’t”, Jungkook stutters, releasing Taehyung’s hand which he previously almost crushed from holding it so tightly.

You furrow your brows, “don’t be scared, it’s just me. You know that”, you say and whip back around to continue your fast walk, “you guys should stop worrying about all this silly stuff when there is much more pressing matters to take care of. Come, it’s just down that tunnel.”

The vampires exchange a weary look with each other. They can still see you. Far in the distance, walking with not even an ounce of fear in your steps. The shadows swallow you more and more until it even smothers the shine of your torch. They blink in surprise. How are they unable to see you? What happened?

“Are you coming?!” you call out from the darkness.

“Coming!” Jungkook answers you and then drags Taehyung and Jimin with him.

You wait for them to join your side. The shine of the torch has returned, illuminating your features weakly.

“You guys can’t see shit, can you?” you ask them.

“No, we can’t.”

“Good.”

“What do you mean good?”

“We’re close.”

“Close to what?”

“Victory, good Jimin.”

“Can you talk like you’re normally talk? You’re being creepy.”

“I’m not creepy”, you say, shining the light into Jimin’s face, “what do you want me to tell you? Stupid fucking stories about myself? We don’t have time for that.”

“Why can’t we see in the darkness?”

“A curse, duh”, you say, leading the way again.

“A curse?”

“Yes. Stay close”, you tell them, taking a turn to the right, “it’s cast all over that stupid system. I think Namjoon’s stupid coven cast it to mask the entrance to the round room. It starts by those two statues we passed.”

“We passed statues?” Jungkook gasps.

“Yes. Two demons. Ugly bastards, if you ask me. I think they’re the beacons for the curse”, you say, “it ends right under the university by two statues of angels. It’s hilarious isn’t it?” you say and laugh, “the university is so close if only you know where to walk.”

“We’ve been walking for too long. You’re only imagining that it’s not taking long.”

“Perhaps. Now quiet and stay close. There are rats nearby.”

“We can handle a few rats.”

“You don’t wanna meet those rats. The curse made them different. Trust me”, you say.

“How do you know?”

“Who do you think cleared out most of those tunnels?” you hiss, sending him a dark look.

“Who are you?” Jimin asks.

“I am me”, you answer him and stop, “we’re here.”

“Fuck. I can smell the ammoniac”, Jungkook says, swallowing heavily.

Taehyung, who notices how he begins to shake, intertwines his fingers with Jungkook.

“It is going to be alright. We are right here with you”, he whispers.

A smile tugs at Jungkook’s lips. He squeezes Taehyung’s hand.

“Thank you”, he whispers and Taehyung simply leans in and kisses his cheek. No words need to be exchanged between them afterwards for both of them to know that the fight of before was forgiven and forgotten.

“Okay, it’s done”, you pull their attention back to you.

“What’s done?”

“I lifted the barrier spell. You should be able to enter now.”

“Barrier spell?”

“Yeah. To keep you guys out and them in.”

“Them?”

You open the door and step inside. The three vampires follow with a lump in their throat.

You snap your fingers to light the torches at once, revealing the round room and your captives chained to the wall. They hiss and groan at the sudden light, cowering away in fear upon laying eyes on you.

“What the actual fuck?” Jimin exclaims, “why the fuck do you have guys chained up here?”

“Not guys. Vampires”, you correct him.

“What?” Jimin’s voice is squeaky in shock.

You look over your shoulder. You are already by your captives, currently removing one of them from the wall chains.

“Superiors. Don’t worry, they’re not just any vampires.”

“That still doesn’t explain why you have vampires chained up in, in this awful room surrounded by demonic curses and a, a barrier spell”, Taehyung is the one to speak up.

“Research obviously”, you answer him, “follow me, don’t fucking fight me”, you hiss at the vampire you are currently dragging to the chair.

“Research?”

“I mean, I couldn’t have done it on you guys, could I?”

“Done what?!”

You slam the vampire down in the chair, holding him down with strong magic so you can chain his limbs tightly.

“What are you doing to him?” Jungkook asks you, feeling taken back to the time he was chained up in this awful room.

“I’m making sure that he doesn’t escape. Those chains are enchanted because unlike Namjoon, the moron, I don’t want my vampires to fight themselves free”, you explain, patting the vampire's shoulder, “there we go, now you can’t escape.”

“Guys please help me, she is fucking crazy. She killed Melanie and, and Rich and Eric and now she is going to kill me”, the vampire begs, looking over his shoulder at the others.

“Way to snitch on me. The fuck?” you gasp, stealing his voice with one swirl of your wrist.

The vampire opens and closes his mouth fruitlessly, looking at your friends with scared eyes.

“What did you do to him?”

“I stole his voice. He was ruining the conversation”, you explain nonchalantly as you grind up the wood.

“Is this true? Did you kill people?”

“Yes. They failed the research”, you explain, stepping closer to the vampire.

“What research? What are you talking about?”

“The search for a cure. How did you not figure that out?” you hiss, “isn’t it obvious yet? I’m trying to find a bloody cure.”

Their eyes flit to the bowl of ground wood in your hand.

“___ what are you going to do with this wood?” Jungkook asks.

“Force it into his lungs. Just like Namjoon did with Yoongi.”

“What? Are you insane? This is going to kill him”, Taehyung gasps.

“Only if the antidote fails, but it won’t. Not this time. I know it won’t”, you say and grab the vampire by its throat, “this is gonna sting for a little, I’m not sorry about that.”

Taehyung lets out a sound which was a mixture of a scoff and a gasp. You lift your eyes from the vampire, cocking your brow at Taehyung.

“What?” you ask him.

“Who are you?”

“I am me! How often do I have to tell you that?”

“No, no you aren’t you. I, I barely even recognise you.”

“Well, get used to it because this is who I am.”

“No”, Taehyung shakes his head, “no, this isn’t you.”

“It is!” you yell at him.

The room is dead silent instantly.

“This is who I am. This is me”, you dig your finger into your own chest, “all my life I spent feeling weird and different and like something was wrong with me, but not anymore. This?” you light your hand on fire with nothing but a thought. It was solely to make a point, “this is who I am. This is the fucking reason why I felt different and I won’t let you tell me that this isn’t me when I spent twenty five fucking years of my life searching for who I am.”

“Killing vampires for fun is not who you are”, Taehyung says. His voice is raised as well.

“I’m not doing this for fun. I’m doing this to save Yoongi. I find no enjoyment in this. Do you think I get off on failing over and over again? No. I want this to be over”, you hiss.

“Killing them is still not the answer.”

“I’m not even killing vampires. I’m killing monsters!” you throw back, grabbing the chained vampire by his hair to tug on it harshly and in the process, force his mouth to open, “they’re no different than those cursed rats outside or the demons lurking in those shadows. They’re monsters.”

Taehyung shakes his head, “no, they’re not. They’re like us.”

“They are nothing like you. They’re nothing but Namjoon’s ugly scum. You are my family.”

“We were once Namjoon’s scum too”, Taehyung says, “how are you so certain that they wanted this life for themselves?”

“I know what you are trying to do here. I know that you want me to see the better of myself. But this is the better version of me. I have never felt more like myself than I do right now.”

“No, it’s not. This is madness.”

“Do not speak to me of madness, Kim Taehyung, when I stumbled into this life because you and Jimin wanted a snack”, you growl, finally releasing the vampire's hair to instead, pull out the dagger of your grandmother.

Taehyung closes his mouth, staring at you with widened eyes.

“The madness started long before all of this, but it will end tonight”, you say.

“___ please”, Taehyung tries only to be silenced by you with a lift of your finger.

“Trust me. I know what I’m doing.”

“It doesn’t have to be this way.”

“It does. Now look away if you don’t want to relive how it was to lose Yoongi”, you tell them and blow the wood into the vampire’s face.

There is nothing for a second and then he begins writhing and squirming in agony, crying out silently because his voice was still gone.

“Holy fucking shit, you’re actually crazy”, Jimin gasps, stumbling back because he thought that he would never have to watch something as gruesome as a vampire choking on wood splinters again and yet here he was, having to watch it again.

You can’t react, you have to concentrate. Have to do what your grandmother told you to do. Have to safe that vampire from dying.

“Esrever”, you begin chanting the word she told you to speak until the blade glows golden. And then, only then, you ram it into the chest of the dying vampire, deep enough that you can feel the blade touch the ribs at his back.

“No. I’m fucking out”, Jimin says and turns away, “you’re actually fucking insane.”

“Please don’t do this”, Taehyung begs with his hand thrown over his mouth.

Jungkook just stares wordlessly, feeling his stomach twist while deep down a glimmer of hope begins flickering.

Despite the blade in his chest, the vampire stops squirming in agony. He stops squirming. He actually stops squirming. Until finally it is gone.

You pull the blade out, staring at the vampire with your entire body shaking in emotion.

“Holy shit”, you whisper shakily, staring at the blade in your hand. It is covered in black blood. Runes have appeared on the metal. The golden glow in them is consuming the black wood splinters trapped in the blade, “holy shit.”

With a swirl of your wrist you give the vampire his voice back.

“H-how, how are you feeling?”

“Like, like myself. What, what did you do to me?” the vampire stutters and although his voice is terribly ruined as a remnant from his death fight, he looks healthy.

“Holy shit”, you press out, stumbling back and dropping the knife in the process, “it fucking worked”, you manage to get out and then nine weeks of pain, heartbreak and hopelessness come crushing down on you, dragging you to your knees as you break down in relieved tears.

You have no recollection of the minutes which follow. You don’t know if you cried or screamed or laughed or perhaps fell victim to a mixture of everything. You don’t know what happened because your brain didn’t keep any of those seconds as memories. Perhaps the cry was as much trauma as it was relief. Perhaps having to keep the memories of this cry would have been too burdening to do. Perhaps however you couldn’t remember anything, because for the first time in seventy long nights, you don’t have to think of anything. No new loss to stomach, no new seconds of self loathing, no new moments of grief and no new fear of more hours spent researching the hopeless. You don’t have to think of anything anymore, because you finally won.

“I fucking won”, you wail, laughing just as much as you are crying, “I goddamn fucking won!”

You think that you jumped up and flipped the table in happiness. You can’t really remember a lot, because it all happened too fast.

“Fucking take that Kim Namjoon! I won!” you scream, ripping the door open to yell it into the endlessness of the tunnels, “I won! I beat you! Holy fucking shit, I beat you!” you screech and overtaken by your emotions, you retch only to empty the entire contents of your stomach on the ground.

“Hey, it’s okay”, Jungkook is by your side instantly, rubbing your back. He is crying just as much, “it’s okay. You did it, baby. You can rest now.”

You don’t even mind that you threw up. It is over as fast as it happened. Your body minds as you feel terribly dizzy and out of it afterwards, but you fight through those feelings, lifting your head.

“___”, Taehyung gasps, hurrying to you, “you are bleeding.”

“I fucking won”, you croak, barely registering when both Jungkook and Taehyung try to wipe the blood from your nose, “I’m getting Yoongi back”, you press out, head pounding like crazy, “okay fuck, I..feel…I, I need help”, you say, vision going black and head hitting Jungkook’s chest.

Someone is holding your hand. Both of them. Two pairs of hands hold them. So two people are holding your hand. Fuck, your head is pounding. Every inch of your body feels heavy in exhaustion. Did you fall asleep? Where are you? What happened? You open your eyes. It is bright outside. It’s the typical brightness the day gets when it is about to snow. What happened? Why are you in your bed? You try to sit up only to have the sharpest pain in humankind shoot through your brain.

“Fucking shit”, you press out, pulling a grimace of agony. Your head is pounding like crazy and breathing is so goddamn hard because of your stuffy nose.

“Darling?”

You turn your head where the voice came from, watching as Taehyung lifts his forehead from your hand.

“You’re finally awake”, his voice is heavy in tiredness, “oh god, I was so worried”, he presses out as his eyes fill with tears, “Kook, she’s awake!”

Someone stirs beside you.

“___?” Jungkook gasps.

You turn your head to him, watching as he props himself up on his elbow. He scoots closer, letting go of your hand to instead touch your cheeks.

“You’re finally awake”, Jungkook presses out, spilling tears just as Taehyung does, “I’m so fucking relieved.”

“What happened?”

“You passed out. It’s been ten hours since”, Taehyung explains.

You look at him, “ten hours? What? I don’t understand.”

“You were bleeding out of your nose and then you passed out against my chest”, Jungkook explains, “we tried to get you to wake up again, but you didn’t want to wake up anymore. We, we were so worried. We kept managing your heartbeat and, and even called Hobi to take a look at you, but you were out cold.”

“I passed out?” you try to sit up, but get stopped by both Jungkook and Taehyung pushing you back into the sheets.

“Don’t get up yet. Rest”, Taehyung says sternly.

“Okay?” you blink the sudden dizziness away, “I don’t understand what happened.”

“You were overwhelmed. The magic and the release of stress most definitely did it to you.”

“I see. Fuck”, you touch your forehead, “my head’s killing me.”

“Should I get you some pain medicine?” Jungkook offers.

“Yeah, maybe”, you say.

“I’ll get the others too”, Jungkook says, pecking your cheek, “don’t leave this bed until I’m back”, he orders and then disappears to get everything you need.

You turn your head to Taehyung, eyes closing halfway when he begins running his fingers over your forehead and temple. He is still holding your hand, clutching it so tightly you wonder if he will ever let you go again.

“I’m sorry for ever doubting you”, he whispers.

“Don’t.”

“No, I want to apologise. I was being unfair to you. If I knew how much you actually did, I would have never yelled at you.”

“Don’t apologise. You had every right to doubt me. And for yelling at me. I’m sorry for making you worry so much.”

He shakes his head, “I already forgave you. I understand now. All of it. You wanted to save Yoongi and you wanted to stop at nothing. Not even at killing…”, he hesitates with his choice of words, “monsters”, he decides in the end.

“I didn’t want to kill them. I really didn’t. But I had to. They were the only choice I had.” 

“I know. I understand, I think. I don’t know, it is still a little difficult to come to terms with everything you hid from us.”

“I only did it to protect you.”

“Protect me?”

“Just…from what I became. You were right a little. I’m not a killer and I hadn’t noticed it, but I think that I did go a little mad.”

Taehyung doesn’t say anything, but the fondness in his eyes lets you know that he wasn’t angry at you. Not anymore. 

“But I won’t apologise for anything else. I haven’t felt more like myself than I do ever since I found my powers and, and I won’t hide them. Not anymore.”

“I never wanted you to hide them. Oh darling”, Taehyung cups your cheek, “the only thing I wanted you to do was reconsider your choice of killing the vampire. But even that turned out to be an unnecessary worry”, his lips curl into a smile, “you found a cure.”

“I know”, you get out, eyes filling with tears, “I can’t believe that I did it. I want to cry.”

“I know, me too”, Taehyung says, kissing your tears away. He rests his forehead against yours afterwards, “I’m proud of you”, he whispers “you are a true fighter and I won’t ever doubt you again.”

“Thank you”, you whisper, crying silent tears, “and I want you to know that I would do the same for you. If you were the one with wood in your lungs I mean. I would do the same for you and, and the others too. I’d fucking fight until I’ll find a cure. Especially now that I am finally actually helpful. You, you are all my family and I can’t lose-”

“I know”, he interrupts you in a soft voice, cupping your cheek, “you don’t have to tell me. I know.”

“So you don’t think that I gave up on you when you were still imprisoned?”

“No, I don’t. I should  have never said those awful words.”

“Thank you”, you get out, releasing your breath shakily as your eyes fall closed in relief. He isn’t angry anymore. This feels so good to know.

“I also learned not to mess with you. You frightening me a little in those tunnels”, he jokes, “I don’t even want to find out what you could actually do to us poor, weak vampires.” 

You laugh, “no please don’t be scared of me. I would never hurt you.”

“I know, I was just making a silly joke”, he chuckles.

You snicker, moving your head away just enough that you could look into his eyes. They race between yours, glimmering in fondness.

“Thank you, Tae darling. I know it wasn’t easy to trust me, so thank you for still following me.”

He dismisses you with a shake of his head, “I’m just glad that you are finally awake again.”

You give him a small smile, nodding your head in agreement.

Taehyung takes your hand, tracing your knuckles slowly.

“___darling”, he begins, “my sweetest, Kookie told me about your panic attack”, he lifts his eyes, looking at you with great regret, “and I want to apologise. It should have been obvious to me that sending you away would trigger panic in you, but it wasn’t obvious. I am so incredibly sorry.”

“I went out of my own accord.”

“Did you truly?”

You hesitate and lower your eyes. 

“See? Oh my sweetest darling, I have been awfully unfair to you. You stayed by my side when I grieved Jimin, tolerated my heartbroken stupidity and here I was acting like I had any right to turn you into a villain.”

He scoots closer and places his other hand over your hand as well. 

“I understand your grief. I always did. But I think in my own heartbreak and frustration, I forgot for a second and I am sorry that I did.”

“No, it’s okay. I acted like an idiot.”

“___, just take the apology.”

It feels peculiar. You didn’t even think that you needed an apology and yet it feels good to hear it.  While the beginning of the trip felt like unfair punishment, it ended in you finally finding the cure, so all the terrible feelings you had in the beginning were forgotten by you. The wounds still seemed to have remained however, because hearing Sorry from Taehyung felt healing. You think that you were the angriest at him. Subconsciously, but angry nonetheless. 

“Thank you for the apology”, you say, “I could never explain why I felt so wronged by you in particular, but now I can, so thank you for apologising.”

“Of course, this is the least I can do.”

“And for reassuring me that you understand my grief.”

“Of course, oh my darling of course.”

“You won’t have to understand it anymore”, you smile, “really soon”, you add and squeeze his hand, “really, really soon.”

Taehyung gives you a smile and nods his head, “yes, very soon.”

“___”, Jungkook calls out for you as he enters your room, followed by Hoseok and Jimin, “I’m back, I got you everything you need.”

“Well, I’ll be damned. You’re actually awake”, Jimin says, carrying what seems to be a bowl of food.

“Hey there, I’m glad that you’re awake”, Hoseok says, hurrying to the bed with his doctor bag in his hand.

Taehyung stands up from the chair for him, letting him close to you so he could look at you.

“How are you feeling? Tell me everything”, Hoseok says, checking your temperature with the back of his hand.

“My head hurts and my nose is stuffy and I just feel…sick. I don’t know, I feel like I’m having the flu or something.”

“Mhm, I see”, Hoseok furrows his brows as he gets into his serious mode, “I’ll take a quick check up if that’s okay with you.”

“Yeah sure, do your thing”, you allow him, trying to sit up.

Jungkook is on the bed instantly, helping you and keeping his hand on your back afterwards to support you. He holds your hand for good measures, eyes racing over your face in worry. All while Hoseok checks your body for any signs of a more serious illness, asking you questions about how certain spots and places feel.

“Okay, I think we’re done”, he says, lowering his stethoscope after checking your lungs.

“And?” Taehyung asks, having watched the whole scene whilst completely ruining his fingernails by biting them vigorously.

“I’m pretty sure that you caught the nastiest flu as a result of your body finally burning out”, Hoseok tells you, looking over his shoulder at Taehyung for just a quick second.

“So she got burn out, is that what you’re insinuating?”

“Yes, very much so. I can’t say if it’s human burn out or magical burn out, but it’s definitely one of those if not both.”

“What? But that’s impossible”, you gasp, “I didn’t even do anything.”

“Yeah sure”, Hoseok scoffs, “you didn’t work yourself into madness these past nine weeks. Be for real, ___. You’re lucky that you only burned out instead of just dropping dead.”

You lower your eyes in shame. How far did you lose yourself?

“So what can we do to help?” Jungkook asks.

“We should let her rest”, Hoseok says, “do you hear me, ___? Rest. That’s all you need right now. To rest and to recover”, Hoseok explains, storing his tools in his bag, “and to actually eat something again. You look starved.”

“I know”, you say.

“Here. I made you some stew”, Jimin says, presenting the bowl of hot stew with rice to you, “there’s lots of veggies in there for vitamins. You should try it.”

“I’ll try it a little later, I have to do one more thing.”

“___”, Hoseok warns in a stern voice.

“It’s not going to take long, I promise”, you insist.

“What do you even want to do?”

“I just…” you hesitate.

“You want to use the knife on Yoongi, don’t you?” Taehyung asks.

“Maybe?” you whisper.

“But it made you bleed last time”, Jungkook protests.

“Yes, but that was because I didn’t sleep and I, I was emotional. I know how to control myself now. It’s not going to make me bleed again.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Yes, I do. I slept and I feel good.”

“You said that the last time as well”, Taehyung protests, “I didn’t want to be angry at you anymore, but you are not making it easy not to. Didn’t you hear what Hoseok just told you?”

“I, I did and I’m planning on taking the biggest and laziest rest afterwards. I just have to know that Yoongi is alive and well. I can’t relax beforehand, even talking to you guys makes me anxious because I could already be with him, saving him.”

The four vampires exchange looks. They seem to be lost for words. All of them.

“See? You guys know that I’m right. So let me do the one thing I have been aching to do for the past seventy days.”

“And afterwards you will finally rest?”

“Yes, I will. I promise you guys.”

“Fuck. Then do what you must, it is not like we can actually stop you”, Taehyung gives up.

“Yes, you really can’t”, you say, “Kook, help me out of bed, I need to get up.”

“I still don’t think it’s a good idea. Yoongi wouldn’t want you dying for him, you know that he’d rather die with you than wake up and have you be dead”, Jungkook says, lifting you out of bed. He sets you down as gently as possible, holding your hands as support.

“I know, but I’m not going to die. The magic isn’t even that strong. I can handle it”, you assure him, “thank you”, you thank Hoseok after he helped you slip on your morning robe.

“I’m on Jungkook’s side by the way. I really think that you should rest for at least a day or two.”

“I will”, you give him a reassuring smile, “after I saved Yoongi. Now follow me guys, let’s get Yoongi back”, you say, taking the knife from the bedside table to finally get your love.

“This is such a bad idea, I can’t believe that I am letting her do this”, you hear Taehyung talk to Jimin, but ignore it. Your head may be pounding like crazy and your every step feels like too much, but you have a job to finish. Even if it is the last thing you will ever do. You won’t abandon Yoongi.

“What happened to the captives?” you ask Jungkook as you hurry to Yoongi’s wing together. Hoseok is by your other side, holding your other hand. Jimin and Taehyung follow right behind you, eyeing you with suspicious worry.

“We put them back into their original cells”, Jungkook tells you.

“Okay. Good. And the vampire I saved?”

“He’s still alive. The stab wound healed and he says that he feels the same.”

“Good. That’s good. I can’t believe that it actually worked. Holy shit, I’m getting Yoongi back”, you murmur, opening the door to his wing.

“If it works. I’m telling you, if I see you beginning to die because of the spell, I’m stopping it. I can’t lose you too.”

“It won’t fail, I’m sure of it.”

The bedroom door opens swiftly. You quicken your steps now that Yoongi was so near.

He looks like he always does.

“Hey there, my love”, you greet him, cupping his cheek, “holy shit, since when did your skin get so grey?”

“It’s always been this grey.”

“It has?” you run your eyes over his features. Sunken in eyes, prominent cheekbones, purple lips and grey skin and hair which has lost every shine and life. He doesn’t look healthy. He looks sick. How have you never noticed?

You feel emotions well up in your chest. How blind to his state were you? Clutching the handle of the knife, you force control back into your chest. You can’t become emotional now. You have to save him. It is right here, in your palm. The solution to his current awful state lies within your palm. You just have to step closer and push the blade inside his chest.

“What are you waiting for?” Jimin asks.

“I’m scared”, you confess, “what if I do it wrong?”

“You won’t do it wrong. I’ve watched you do it to that vampire like you’ve done it a million times before.”

“Yes, but that was because I didn’t care if he died or not. What if I mess up now?”

“If you start doubting yourself, you will talk your body into messing up. It’s best to just do it.”

“I know”, you tighten the grip on the knife, gaze switching between Yoongi’s sick face and his chest. You can get him back. You have done so much. You fought the most terrible of nightmares in the tunnels and you won. You won. You won against Namjoon. You found a cure. It worked on his creation and it will work on Yoongi.

“I love you, my prince. I’m getting you back”, you whisper and then you begin chanting the words as the knife pierces his chest.

The silver glow around him fades more and more. The knife feels like burning coal between your fingers.

“Okay wait, it’s actually working. Keep going”, Jungkook gasps, touching your back for support, “you’re doing it, baby. You’re actually doing it.”

Your vision is blurry from the pain of your head. Your voice can barely produce the right words without struggle for air. Blood drips from your nose.

“___ you? Wait, stop, you’re bleeding again. Wait.”

“Darling please stop right now”, Taehyung begs.

You only begin chanting louder, drowning out their begging. You can feel it working. The knife may be burning your flesh to the bone but you are getting him back. You are actually lifting the curse.

“Ah!” you exclaim, ripping your hands away as the knife begins melting in your fingers.

“It’s melting?” Jimin gasps.

“No, Yoongi” you exclaim, pulling it out of his chest even if you have never felt such pain before. You drop it afterwards, staring at your ruined hand with tears of pain in your eyes.

“What did you do? Your hand!” Taehyung gasps.

“I’m fine”, you croak, “what, what happened?” you stutter. You can taste the blood in your mouth as it runs out of your nose.

“It didn’t work, please let’s rest now. I’ll heal your hand and then rest with you”, Taehyung insists, trying to pull you away from Yoongi’s bed.

“No! No it should have worked! It, it worked on the other vampire!”

“Maybe it worked because it was regular wood.”

“No!” you yell so loud your voice bounces off the walls, “no, it should have worked! Why didn’t it work?!”

“Let’s just rest, please darling.”

“No”, you shake yourself free of his grasp, “no, why didn’t it work? It, it should have worked!” you scream, grabbing Yoongi by the collar of his shirt, “wake up, Yoongi! Please my love wake up!”

“Don’t do that. Your hands are ruined, you have to let me heal you.”

You can’t hear what Taehyung is saying. It didn’t work. After everything you did, it didn’t work.

“Please Yoongi, I’m fucking begging you, please come back to me.”

“Let’s just go”, Taehyung whispers with heartbreak in his voice. It pains him that you failed. He wanted for you to be successful. He really, really did.

“Let go of me, I have to try again. Where, where is the knife?” you fight him, crazed eyes scanning the ground, “there. No!”

Taehyung lifts you before you can bend down.

“Let me go! What’s wrong with you? Let go of me!” you protest, fighting him with nails and feet.

“You have to rest, it didn’t work and, and you are hurt”, Taehyung says.

“No Yoongi! Let me go! Yoongi please wake up, please!” you beg as you get carried away further and further.

Taehyung turns you so you couldn’t look at the bed anymore.

“Let me go! I hate you! I fucking hate you so much! Let me go!”

“I’m sorry”, Taehyung whispers shakily, swallowing down the painful sob he wants to let out.

“Yoongi, please wake up! Don’t fucking go where I can’t follow, please!” you beg, clutching the doorframe even if your fingers ache like the never ached before, “let me go!”

Taehyung wins and manages to get you out of Yoongi’s bedroom.

“Yoongi! Let me go! Yoongi!”

You lost. You lost. You lost your Yoongi. You lost.

“No”, you wail, “I want to die, I want to fucking die. Just kill me, please.”

“Please stop, please just-”, Taehyung begs only to be stopped by Hoseok screaming your names.

He appears in the doorframe a second later. Jungkook screams your name in the background, begging you to come back.

“Come back. Yoongi! Something’s happening!”

“What?” you push yourself away from Taehyung, overwhelm him and fight free. Your feet drop on the ground hard and rough, shaking you through so much that you feel dizzy as you run, “Yoongi! I’m coming!”

“___ come here, quick come here”, Jungkook stresses.

You fall into him from just how quickly you ran to the bed. But neither you nor Jungkook feel the impact, holding each other as your teary eyes are focused on Yoongi’s face. Jimin and Taehyung appear behind you a second later.

“What’s happening?” Taehyung asks.

“Holy fuck”, you press out. You can barely see what is happening as your vision becomes darker and darker. Everything aches so terribly. You feel so weak. And yet you keep looking, watching with tears streaming down your face, as Yoongi’s features morph into the healthy face you have fallen in love with. His hair changes from a dull silver to dark black, the grey of his skin becomes less and less.

“It worked”, Jungkook whispers, “holy fuck, it worked.”

His cheeks gain in softness again and his once sunken eyes move back into place. His once purple, chapped lips become the soft, pink lips you will always love to kiss.

“It worked, you-”, Jungkook stops upon seeing the state you find yourself in, “___, are you okay?”

Yoongi’s eyes open just as yours fall closed.

[soraviie]

their flaws.txt

━ type: bts x gn! reader ━  masterlist

━ about: angst! ━ pictures taken from Pinterest

━ a/n: requested by anon! These are as accurate as any vibe check I give to strangers, I'm fairly sure I can do more realistic tea leaf readings! So put your pitchforks down!

━ previously posted on soraviii

NAMJOON:

absolutely passive aggressive

sometimes when stressed (which is not that unoften)

sometimes when jealous

but definitely dampens your spirits by giving a very dry, sarcastic "awesome" to some harmless questions

if you have ever seen a single American interview you know exactly what I'm talking about

If he's jealous of someone who he knows he shouldn't also does this

Especially if you're talking about them

Say like a coworker or a neighbour who was helpful or funny

He goes like "well aren't they just the greatest person ever! I'll gift you a mini fridge at your wedding."

Then stomps away

I feel like he's a stomper

Always comes back, gently knocking on the door and apologising for his behaviour

And he is ashamed of it because dumping all the bottled-up anger is not something any partner should do but occasionally it does happen

People are not perfect

Also tends to, how to explain, be too decisive about your decisions

Say you consult him on what to do

And he has decided on option A because that's what he would do he doesn't listen to option B

Even if it's the one you're more partial to

Which is fine

But then he goes and does the thing of "well if you want to fail completely and face the consequences of the wrong decision, please go ahead"

He has a bit of a problem with micromanaging given the line of work, being a leader and undercurrent of care

He wants you to succeed but it just comes off as such a high horse it makes you want to choke him

Speaking of jealousy has his episodes

You'd think he has nothing to be insecure about but he has a lot of them

Sometimes he thinks he doesn't look right

You know how he at times mentions not being the best looker

Which is...Mr Kim, check your prescription, please

But most of all gets insecure about the way his career impacts you and your relationship

There are other people who can give you all this love and share it freely

So he works himself into a tight little ball of stomach ulcer and then as a defence becomes passive aggressive

It's a bit of a cursed cycle

Rolls! His! Eyes! With! A! Deep! Sigh!

Especially when you're arguing

Which for me is an open-arm invitation to tear someone a second, a third or whatever number hole, it'll be new for sure but hey I've got anger issues

Fairly emotional in the moment, he can get loud and assertive

Cause I think he's used to partially bulldozing his way through

Luckily though someone so keen on self-improvement will genuinely try to fix these flaws, listen to your arguments and objections

But once again no one is perfect

YOONGI:

Because I'm a Yoongi stan I might be biased

I am biased

But I think he hides his flaws well by pulling back

Like if he wants to snap he knows he can ruin a good thing in his life so he bites his tongue

With that out of the way

He is reserved

He does spend a lot of time on work

He doesn't know how to relax

He will lug his equipment everywhere and anywhere

Even if you beg him to relax for just three days, he just can't

Sometimes relies on drinking too much to get him through the week

He has a knack to prove someone wrong

It's a knee-jerk reaction mostly

Say, your friend that he does not particularly like would say something incorrect, he'll pipe up from his corner in an extremely arid tone

"Hmm, funny you should say that, because blah blah. Guess ignorance is not that hard of a burden to bear."

Sometimes he expects you to read his mind

Let's say he's saying with his mouth "I want to stay home" but he actually wants someone to drag him outside but also he wants to complain about it the whole time

But because people can't read minds you leave him be

And then he's left to sulk

You're going to have a hard time if you're a person who enjoys going outside, actively being involved in things

Because even if he does it, he does it simply because of you, not because he wants to

And it's just so apparent that he does not want to be here that in the end it just ruins the whole thing

Speaking of, he sometimes goes along with things he doesn't want to just because acts of service is his love language but sometimes it's better to just state it outright that he doesn't want to instead of lying

Doesn't want surprises that interfere with his schedule and work even if they're well-meaning

Clearly wants to say "I told you so" on some occasions and be smug about

If only he could hide it better

Can diss you, your friends and your family with a throwaway remark that he didn't think much about it just ends up cutting deeper than he ever thought

I think he can be careless? in a way when you're sick

For example, if you're feeling bad and you just want to whine and be catered to he could just call you and say take your pills and that's it

Doesn't exactly coddle you in a situation like this because that's what he would do himself

But he's not a bad listener so there's a fine chance that over time he'll be at a middle ground with these issues

JIN:

Doesn't always understand when he needs to be serious

Sometimes he needs to be sad, sombre and depressed for the occasion

But he has a hard time breaking out of that jokester role

So it can come off as ingenuine and shallow

Occasionally you want someone to just ask, give a serious question to which you could seriously answer, to get all those feeling out and not just make endless jokes which give no opportunity for deeper discussion

Talks about himself a tad too much

I could see how someone could get tired of it, even if it's self-depreciative

If you're mentioning how you don't feel pretty, he could misconstrue it as just the occasional thought everyone has not something he needs to assure you about

"Don't worry," he might say with a light chuckle but the gap in your chest is on the opposite quite heavy. "I'll be handsome enough for two."

"Yeah, you're perfect," you scowl and walk away, hands in pockets

I think he can sometimes unintentionally create this disappointing pang in your heart

That you're not heard enough

That he doesn't want to engage in a deep, philosophical discussion

Because that is not something he's partial to

This could mean you turn to other people to talk about your problems

And he becomes huffy

"What? Am I not...good enough?" he asks, defensive

"Not in this case."

And it creates this stifling situation where no one is at fault and yet is right in their own way

It's your right to want to converse about this

And it's his right to remain true to his nature

I don't think he knows how to change himself manually so to speak

Jin always strikes me as the guy who changes by naturally maturing and by experience not by putting out a list in his head "this is what we fix, this is what we do"

But also this jokester role is exactly that - a role

He's not as cheerful deep down but he's not used to sharing it openly

He's used to diffusing the tension, not creating it

HOSEOK:

I think a large portion would say that it is Yoongi who struggles with shyness and intimacy and communication but it is my humble opinion that the absolute hardest to get to know is Hoseok

He's very supportive of you but is almost dismissive to receive any compliments

It's like he's not able to comprehend how to accept his faults

Already so soon after releasing "Jack in the Box", he said he was already looking for setbacks and flaws

I think it can be discouraging to have your compliments and praises brushed by with a polite smile and nod of the head that clearly says "I don't believe anything you just said"

He's so overly critical over anything he does and is so obstinate about being even...cheered up about it?

I think at this point it's how he's wired - to reach for new heights by stepping down upon the old ones

But it can be depressing to see someone you love continually tear themselves down

Another absolute workaholic has every minute of every day planned down and scheduled and someone really grave needs to happen to break that schedule

Bad at intimacy

I've always said it but a relationship with Hoseok to me is the kind where you're with a friend first and foremost

He's better at handling friends than lovers

Struggles to communicate his side of things

He listens more than talks

Absolutely intentionally directs questions at you so you would talk about yourself (which is what he wants to hear) instead of talking about himself

He thinks of himself as your silent glue, keeping your shit together but not voicing any of his sentiments over it

Again, many would say Yoongi but I think it's Hoseok that's independent to a fault

Like a little helper rushes to do what he needs to but accepts no help

Brushes off with a smile that it's no worry, that he can do it himself

Getting to know him means hitting a giant fortress over and over again

So it's very frustrating but once every while he breaks and lets it all out

What matters is that it is during this you try to convince him as hard as you can that it's okay to share and not scheme everything out like a lone mastermind

JIMIN:

His best qualities are also his greatest flaws

Meaning he cares about everyone

And so gets caught up in other people's problems

More than once has come late at night because "a friend needed help"

Worries a lot about everything

If you're not in a good mental state or prone to sickness and negativity he at times makes it worse by constant nagging and frequent anxiety

Also his greatest quality - never leaving anyone behind

Hence why he has problems with giving space

He thinks he's abandoning you when in reality you just want to be alone with your thoughts

Has a bit of a temper

And does hold grudges if they have a reasonable basis

Say if in anger you say something hurtful about his personality

He'll remark sharply about it even weeks later

"Guess I'm just too clingy."

Another stomper

Takes things a bit too personally that are not even meant for him

If you don't share something from your past especially bad or traumatic he'll have this knee-jerk reaction of:

"So you don't trust me enough?'

Needs attention and praise which can be draining

Especially when you just give it and then he goes on to be extremely self-critical and brings himself down once more

Another roller of the eyes!

Gets stand-offish when jealous or irritated making sharp comments

This stems from him being sensitive because his good quality is how big his heart is only meaning that he gets it hurt a lot of times

Sometimes you think he's acting cute when he wants to be serious

Like he just wants you around to the point of reverting back to people-pleasing tendencies and playing along to your whims more than being his genuine self

Flirts with everyone which creates two bad scenarios:

Scenario A: did it on purpose thinking of it lightheartedly to have that validation that you want him but if you feel it to the point of being insecure he gets quiet, suffering from guilt

Scenario B: get annoyed especially if it's when he's working

"It's just how I have to act," cue roll of the eyes. "Do I blame you for making photocopies at work?"

"Suggesting to marry a stranger is not the same as making photocopies!"

"It's a part of my job, what's not to get?"

Same as Yoongi sometimes relies too much on drinking to get through the week, or start difficult conversations

I feel like he internalizes a lot and doesn't voice something that might start an argument even if it's needed

Of course, bottling it up only means the fight is so much catastrophic

Always comes back with this thought that "this is not right, let's fix this, okay"

TAEHYUNG:

Romanticizes relationship as a whole too much

Maybe even romanticizes you to an extent

But when reality gets to him, he shuts down

Gets disappointed in you which is not your fault

He realizes you're not at fault for not being the version he constructed but he can't chase the feeling away that quickly

Switches moods a lot and from 100 to 0 at that

Prone to getting into moods a lot of days

I think he feels intensely

Also prone to judgment

now HEAR ME OUT

He has to be on guard literally all the time, assess whether someone talks to him out of personal gain or because they want to

So even if something, something as minuscule as a stray glance tickles his gut feeling, he trusts it entirely and so sometimes casts a judgment upon a perfectly normal stranger

"Come on, man, they're just living their life."

He only scowls in return

His kidlike nature means he's bad at taking criticism, he's also sensitive to it due to getting a lot of hate for everything he does

So instead of simply listening to it objectively, he lets it get to his heart and pouts in silence

THE SILENCE!

Not to mention the infamous dumpling incident, but I just know he commits to silent treatment like no one else

Has a hard time admitting his wrongs as much as he wants for both of you to make peace

He's down to earth but does get caught up in glitz and glamour

Fancy events, designer things, celebrity lifestyle etc.

If you don't enjoy that or even have a hard time with that he can once again get upset about it by immediately taking it close to heart and translating it to you being dissatisfied with him despite it being another matter entirely

I guess in a way he's bad at controlling his emotions and goes with them and gut instinct than pure logic

Has a lot of friends with which he wants to spend a lot of time means sometimes he's out too long for your liking and sometimes cancels plans to be with them rather than you

Which is fine but he does feel unhappy if you do the same thing

If you cancel date night to go out with your friends he doesn't say it but he might think something along the line "I already have so little time to spend with you, you can always talk to your friends at any other time"

His "go with the flow" can induce anxiety if you're someone who likes to plan

The way he remains calm and happy would could cause someone a migraine fr

Like me

The way he got lost in Norway and he just hopped along the road like?? Boi, you're not Dorothy on Yellow Brick Road!

Sometimes his casual optimism seems careless and childish as good-natured as it is

JUNGKOOK:

First of all, certainly doesn't have the best gage on people

I'm not going to say much as I feel I can't express it in a well-worded manner

But cuts too much slack to people based on a general opinion that often is quite biased

Always assumes that what he's going to say will be viewed as awkward so he stays silent in most cases

Is a bit spoiled so throws a fuss when he doesn't get his way

Has lowkey, lowkey!, issue with control

Because he's so driven I feel he's used to settling on a certain vision and then doing it all to achieve it

So if you're someone who changes directions mid-way or realizes this is not interesting to me at all and abandons it, his vein bursts

He changes his behaviour around the people whose approval he wants so it makes him a sort of a social chameleon though not necessarily a people pleaser

Brushes off all concerns about his health with "I know better"

"I've been doing this a long time, I know what I'm doing"

When clearly this behaviour is detrimental to his health

And to add salt to the injury will absolutely flame you if you do that as well

If you're being a hazard to your own health - not eating, cutting sleep etc. goes berserk and literally scolds you as being childish and irresponsible even if he does exactly the same

His perfectionism creates churning anger and envy

Which I don't think he would dump upon you but instead he becomes reserved and distant, investing more and more time to prevent a flaw that is perceived only in his mind

He still sometimes finds being alone with you awkward because in his mind he's not embodying his on-stage persona - cocky, confident and sexually bold - and so you must be disappointed in him

In turn that only makes his awkwardness and shyness a hundred times worse because now he's insecure about it as well

Is not keen to go out or enjoy "high" culture the same as Yoongi but instead of going along, he'll whine incessantly about whether it's necessary for you to go because he knows he's not going and sticks to it

Jealous and possessive which doesn't translate to being angry or loud but more so whining and scowling

But sometimes even that is not appreciated especially if the person involved is clearly just a friend

He sometimes doesn't quite register when he's being mean or when his playfulness crosses a line

Sometimes naturally expects you to accommodate him more than you're willing because that's something the guys have done due to their endless soft spot for him

So if you stay firm he sulks and becomes moody

© soraviii/soraviie 2022-2023

[imaginationofacrazyfangirl]

Summary: Everyone knows that you and Eastern U's power forward Hoseok are just friends. Even if you do occasionally sleep with each other. Okay, more than occasionally, but who's counting?

-PAIRING: Hoseok x f!reader

-GENRE: smut, 18+, minors dni.

-WARNINGS: fingering, oral (f-receiving), grinding, choking, dirty talk, penetration, dom/sub, Hoseok can be kind of dumb, idiots in love, mention of a dark side, possibly part of a larger series.

Dedicated to @junghelioseok, it took me like five years and probably sucks but here.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sports were always overrated until you joined a sorority. Back in high school, the basketball teams seemed to be full of nothing but arrogant athletes throwing their weight around without the realization that no one cared. Half of the time the school ignored their presence, more keen on their own devices, no matter how much the school pressured everyone for “school spirit.” In college however things were a little different. Sure Eastern U still had its arrogant jocks, but this time they had the talent to back it.

     Eastern U's basketball team was one the top in the region. Mainly due to the loyalty and hard work of its players. So you felt more comfortable stanning them than those jerks back in high school. Besides, it probably didn’t help that you were part of the sorority in charge of throwing tailgates, after game parties, and rallies for them. Honestly you never would’ve pictured yourself as one of those ‘girls’ back in high school, yet here you are nursing your second beer watching as J-Hope, the team’s power forward, did a keg stand. Your gaze narrows shamelessly as a bit of his shirt falls down revealing a pair of rock hard abs.

    You take a sip of your beer trying to mask your sudden appetite. “You are not fooling anyone you know?” Ga-Eun mentions, grinning. The girl is your best friend in the whole sorority, having ‘fostered’ you as your big sister, freshman year. She is a gentle soul unlike many of your other sisters in the house; very down to earth and into the real world, some of the many things that drew her to you. 

    She also happens to be the girlfriend of the team’s captain, Namjoon. Together she and ‘Captain America’ (as they called Namjoon teasingly, for his serious ‘all American’ boy personality) act as the binding glue to the team members. Unfortunately this all means she is involved in all the boys’ business including who they slept with. “You two should just  get together already? I mean it’s not like you hang around anybody else. Besides, Hobi tends to have a one track mind when it comes to you.” Ga-Eun pressures.

   You roll your eyes, taking another sip. “You’re exaggerating. Hoseok and I are just friends, who fuck occasionally. No need to put a label on that.”

   Ga-Eun snorts. “Right, friends who only fuck each other exclusively. Sounds like more to me.”

   “Good thing, I didn’t ask your opinion.” You say with a playful wink.

 She nudges you, but before Ga-Eun could carry out her crusade Hoseok hops over proudly raising his arms. “(Y/N), did you see that? Forty-five seconds a personal best.”

   “Personal best? Hobi, I think you out-drank the whole party.”

 “No way, you should see Yoongi. He's like a fish in water when it comes to drinking. “ Hoseok claims, throwing an arm around you. “Hey Yoongi, do a keg stand!”

     “Nah, I’m good.” Yoongi replies. Ever the responsible player, Yoongi very rarely drinks like a fish out of water as Hoseok claims, preferring to remain clear headed and healthy. “Gotta hit the court early tomorrow-like you should be doing.”

   “Aaaiiissh, you work too hard, Hyung. The next game isn’t for two weeks, you should be celebrating tonight’s win. Even Namjoon’s relaxing and he’s Captain America.” Hoseok whines.

Ga-Eun lets out a loud laugh looking over at her boyfriend drinking beside the team’s manager Jin. His face is colored a little pink, but nowhere near red like Hoseok’s. Most likely the two are discussing future games and advertisements, but at least they appear to relax more than Eastern U’s star player.

    Yoongi smiles, but shakes his head. “I’m going to head home. Maybe shoot a few hoops on the way. (Y/N), take care of him. Dumbass is the biggest lightweight amongst us. He’ll probably be feeling that keg stand in a few seconds.”

    “Gotach.” You say, already feeling Hoseok’s swaying weight. Said redhead lets out a little whine about his friend leaving early, but you are able to stave him off. “Come on big boy. I think you  already had enough tonight. You’re going to have a killer headache hangover in the morning.”

   “But I haven’t played beer pong yet? Jimin and I were going to destroy Jungkook and his team. Teach that kid some respect for us older players.”  Hoseok pouts, ranting about the maknae’s disrespect. Thankfully there is no heat behind his words, despite your own personal feeling on the matter. Yoongi might  be Eastern U’s top player now, but his throne is definitely threatened by freshman Jungkook, who got on varsity without spending any time on JV. The boy is naturally gifted- no denial there. However he lacks discipline or humility unlike the others.

      “You can do that next time. Maybe before you do a forty-five second keg stand.” you hum, leading him up the stairs into your room. It isn’t unusual on nights like these that Hoseok spends the night rather than trek across campus back to his dorm. It is easier and probably for the best seeing how you can easily picture a drunk Hobi, wandering around campus talking to everything he sees. Plus it would be a lie to say you didn’t enjoy nights spent asleep next to him; his arm stretched out protectively around your upper body as if scared you’d disappear.

    “Aaahh, your bed is so comfy. I could  sleep here all night.” Hoseok groans, making himself comfortable. 

   You snort, changing out of your bra and shirt. Away from the party you are now free to be as comfy as you want, which means booty shorts and an oversized t-shirt. Sloppy compared to your prior outfit, but you don’t feel the need to always present like some girls do. Especially not when it comes to Hoseok, who enjoys you in pajama pants as equally as he does, when you wear your usual sorority ‘approved’ outfit. Perhaps if you guys were more than the occasional friends who screwed things would be different, but you aren’t. 

    “Hmmm...if I knew we were coming up here to do this. I would’ve left the party a while ago.” Hoseok groans, adjusting himself. 

   Your mouth dries at the sight of him touching himself. Sleeping with Hoseok tonight wasn't originally the plan, but it appears as if tables have turned. Then again doesn’t it always end up this way? One reason or another Hoseok ends up in your dorm only to pound the ever loving fuck out of you. 

   Slowly you crawl on top of him, cladded only in a pair of plain white panties. “Sex wasn’t my plan originally, but if you feel up for it-” 

   He grabs your hips, forcing you to straddle his waist. A moan escapes you at the feel of his hardness under those baggy pants of his. “Who said I wasn’t up for it? I’m always up when it comes to you, princess.” Hoseok purrs, kissing your breast.

  A lewd wet sound fills the room as he lavishes your breasts with his tongue. It always surprises you how much attention Hoseok pays you. Most men dive straight for the kill. Hoseok however takes his time whenever with you. Almost paying homage to you with his mouth and fingers. “Such pretty breasts, princess. I could play with them all day.” he teases, taking a nipple into his hot mouth.

   Your mouth falls open releasing a loud gasp as his tongue swirls over it. Subconsciously you begin to rock your hips desperate for friction. “ Needy girl, aren’t we?” Hoseok chastises. He places a quick kiss to the side of your neck, before stilling your hips with his forceful grip. “But I’m not done playing yet. There’s still so much left of you, I haven’t gotten to taste.”

    His tongue trails down your neck, eliciting a shudder from you as Hoseok places open mouth kisses on it. If Hoseok’s attention to your breast is odd, then the hyper attention to your neck is just downright crazy.The boy has a thing for your neck, even when sex isn’t an option. Whether it is the protective arm over it in his sleep or him accidentally clotheslining  you each time he comes in for a hug, Hoseok loves your neck. “I am going to have so many hickies…” you gasp as he nibbles on your skin.

  “I’m sure you’ll figure something out.” Hoseok mutters, lathering your skin with affection. His teeth skin your neck, teasing it slightly, before sinking themselves into you. A low gasp escapes you as you move against his erection desperate for friction. “There, all marked up nice and pretty for me, princess. Now everyone will know your mine.”

    Heat pools down between your legs. Oh how badly you wish for that to be true. As much as you deny it to Ga-Eun, you really do like Hoseok and more than friends do. He is just so perfect in an inexplicable way. However, you know he has no interest in you. Hoseok might not be as much of a ladies man as his teammates, Jimin or Jungkook are, but he does have a couple girls on his radar outside of you. 

   You kiss him, teeth biting gently on his lower lip. He smirks against your lip, before licking your lips demanding access. You open your mouth allowing his tongue to slip in. Slowly Hoseok’s hands move up, his fingers crawling over your bare skin before settling themselves on your body. One arm reaches around you pressing its hand onto your head while the other presses between your shoulder blades.

     Hoseok always loves being in control. There is something about it that makes him crazy . Perhaps it is the leading not following that got him the high, but something tells you deep down there might be something more about it. After all, you sometimes get the hint that deep inside Hoseok there is some unadulterated hatred towards his sunny personality.  “That’s my girl so beautiful.” he whispers, flipping over suddenly.

   Your body falls gently amongst the blankets. Hair floating gently across the pillow as Hoseok spreads your limbs out with his hands and knees. He crouches over you, his eyes fill with hunger as they look  at you. Shivers run up your spine at the animalistic shift in Hoseok. Sunnyside boy definitely has a dark side to him and you can’t say you exactly hated it. “Hoseok, baby...take me please.” you whine.

   Again his lips descend desperately onto yours. This time with an urgency you only ever experience with Hoseok. Desperately he struggles to slide his sweats off, only managing to do so thanks to your assistance. A grin spreads across his lip as he throws both hoodie and shirt to the ground now completely naked. “No boxers?” you grin, reaching out to touch his pecs.

   The warmth of his smooth skin radiates beneath your fingers. You can feel his heart beat rapidly underneath your palm. “Why bother? They’re only a pain to take off when I'm fucking you.” He says, pecking your lips.

    Before you can question Hoseok further, he dives down scooping your legs up over his shoulder. You gasp at the feeling of his warm breath against your opening. His grin spreads further out and a wicked look crosses him as Hoseok flicks his tongue against your lips. Your body shakes as he gives a few more long languid licks to your pussy. Teasingly Hoseok dips his tongue into your core once or twice, penetrating but not satisfying the urge between your legs. “Always so tasty for me.” he murmurs, licking once more at your clit.

   You blush hiding behind your hands. It isn't the first time Hoseok commented as such. The boy loves his dirty talk, yet you always find yourself embarrassed by his words. Passed lovers never talked as much, nor did they enjoy eating you out like Hoseok did. "Nuh uh, no hiding from me, princess. " he chastises, pushing your hands away. He places a teasing kiss on your wrist, staring hungrily at you. "Hide from me again and I'll have to tie these pretty wrists up."

    You moan unabashedly. 

He smirks, "Now hold still and let me enjoy my snack. "

  His tongue flattens against you running a long stripe along your pussy. You shiver as it draws circles around your clit. Teeth graze over the little nub teasingly causing you to gasp. Even without looking you know Hoseok is smirking. The boy becomes a cocky little shit whenever in bed, however seeing how he has the talent...A pair of fingers slips into your core filling you to the brim. “Hoseok…” You whimper as he moves them.

   “Relax baby. It’s all about you right now so enjoy.”  He whispers, breath teasing your pussy. His tongue flattens once more against your clit licking it, occasionally meeting his fingers momentarily inside your core. It doesn't take long for that coil inside you to spring and juices to spray on Hoseok. A sigh escapes as you relax against the bed, eyes watching Hoseok lick his lips shamelessly. "Tasty."

  "Shut up." You squeal, smacking him with a pillow. 

  He grins. "Seriously. My favorite snack, better than any energy drink or protein bar I had. "

   You smack him again. Sometimes this boy says the dumbest shit, yet somehow it still comes out as profound or romantic. "You know most people wouldn't compare their lover's taste to a protein bar.”

    Hoseok shrugs, “You know what I mean.”

Before you can reply he slides you to his waist. Almost as if automatically your legs clamp around him feeling the hard length of his cock against your core. A moan escapes you when he rubs it teasingly against you. “You’re like an energizer to me, (Y/N). When I’m with you, my body comes alive no matter how tired or drunk I may be. Hence energy drink or protein bar.” He states, moving your body against his.

    You barely hear his words over the feel of his cock. Something about the way Hoseok uses you for his own pleasure brings you deep satisfaction. He may worship you like no other man, but he is in now way submissive to you. “Are you even listening, princess? I’m trying to have a heart to heart here, and all you can think about is my cock.” Hoseok chastises, but continues to grind against you.

    “Sh-shut up. You know exactly what you’re doing.” you accuse.

  A dangerous glint sparks in Hoseok's eyes at your words. He reaches out, placing a hand around your neck. His large hand grips it tightly forcing you to look at him. “You’re the one acting like a whore, princess. You're practically drenching my cock in your juices and I’m not even in yet.” Hoseok replies, “Maybe I should stop since you hate it so much-”

   “No!” You shout suddenly. The plea comes out in a wispy cough as his finger continues to put pressure on your neck. Your heart beats so fast in your chest, that you're sure he can feel through his grip. You look up at him pleadingly. “Please…don’t stop, Hobi.”

     Your words must satisfy him for Hoseok slips himself inside. Even through his grip, your cry is sharp and loud. So much so that you pray Ga-Eun and the others are still out. Last thing you need is your sorority sisters making fun of you…or worse asking when you and Hoseok are going to be official.  “Hey, thoughts on me, princess. Only me.” Hoseok whispers, “I’m the one in charge here. So focus on me.”

    “Ye-yes sir.” you gasp. His hips met yours at a slow pace. Each thrust of his body slowly dragging his cock through you, meeting each and every sweet spot within you. Slow and languid usually wasn’t your thing, but Hoseok somehow is able to make it the best precursor to any hard sex you ever had. Something which according to experience would be happening at any moment.

    “Such a good princess for me. Always nice and tight for me.” Hoseok kisses your cheek. He looks at you as if you're a piece of priceless artwork. As if you’re something so fragile you can break at any moment. A sickly sweet act if not for knowing how Hoseok really thinks. Most people prefer to treat priceless artwork carefully, fearful of ruining its beauty. Hoseok desires nothing more than to fix it into his own vision.

    His hips speed up, thrusting into you like a wild man. You moan arching your back only for him to tighten his hold on your neck. You begin to feel slightly light headed when his spare hand reaches in between your legs and finds your clit. A burst of pleasure floods over you and you come, clenching tightly around him. 

   Hoseok lets out a low encouraging groan. His pace now sloppy and hard as he fucks you for his own high. It doesn’t take long before he pulls out, spraying his cum onto your sheets. He practically collapses on top of you.

    You two lie there for a few seconds, body shaking from the aftermath of your orgasms. “Fuck, seriously (Y/N). No one fucks me as well as you do.” Hoseok huffs.

      You snort. “Thanks I guess.”

  Hoseok smiles against your skin. “You know. Maybe Ga-Eun is right, and we should make it official. Afterall, I would hate for someone to find out just how perfect you are.”

   Perfect. You would never classify yourself as perfect. You are a bookworm who played in the school’s marching band throughout high school. It’s only by some stroke of luck that you ended up in a sorority fucking one of Eastern U’s players. And still….you want this. You want to be Hoseok’s perfect princess. More than that, you want to continue exploring parts of Hoseok that others did not see. 

“Let’s do it. Let’s become official.”

[beautifulpersonpeach]

Lol thanks again to YG, we’re starting to have a repeat of what happened in 2019, happen again in 2023. Including k-pop stans and antis looking for every opportunity to rope in BTS. And just like back then when Jimin, Jungkook, Taehyung, and Yoongi were the scapegoats and some members suffered witch-hunt scandals, now the focus is yet again on Jimin, Jungkook, Taehyung, and the hyung line members who are yet to enlist.

The only difference between then and now, is that the fandom has far more akgaes now than it did in 2019. Meaning, more people with zero-ordered thinking skills whatsoever, who rely on siloed information (I mean just see my last post how PJMs were clueless about what Jimin himself said on live), and so they’re significantly easier to manipulate, rile up, and trigger.

Akgaes are also far more eager than even BTS antis from rival fandoms, to weaponize anything against rival BTS members. Just like back then, it was JJKs leading the charge against Jimin for the Paris Club scandal, accusing him of cocaine use and prostitution, and PJMs were front and center accusing Jungkook of killing someone in a road accident where official records noted it was a fender bender. Their antics did more damage given how obsessively, maniacally, they pushed these rumours even more than antis from rival fandoms (except VIPs and Blinks - and many VIPs became Blinks).

Yet again, in 2023, it’s akgaes of various members already visiting my inbox less than 12 hours after the news of GDragon’s drug case broke, already weaponizing this news against Jimin, Jungkook, Taehyung, Yoongi, and Namjoon. Of course based on no real evidence whatsoever.

I know a lot of people here joined post-2020 and guzzled down the akgae koolaid in the last few months, perhaps out of anger at how their faves were treated, or out of some misguided notion that it’s not so bad to only stan one member. But like I’ve said, akgaes are not about stanning one member so much as they’re about hating the rest and controlling that one, no matter what they tell you.

This group of people are the largest liability in the fandom and for BTS, they are BTS’s largest weakness, and their ultimate motivation is to weaken or destroy the group so the member they choose can break out as a solo artist. Take it from someone who has seen over and over again, what happens when this faction of people grow within a fandom. They are a liability to Jimin, Jungkook, Taehyung, and everyone else in BTS, and exist to achieve a goal contrary to one every single member has said, which is to remain in BTS for a long time. And if akgaes have to use an extremely damaging drug scandal rumour to help achieve their aim, even when it’s likely to backfire on their faves, they will not hesitate. It’s literally already happening.

Now, I have a pretty strong idea of what’s going to happen in the next few days if it’s anything like what happened in 2019. The situation is extremely delicate considering the members are about to enlist. Anybody who doesn’t use their head is a nuisance and handicap. I suggest everyone else focus on BTS.

[sageistri]

pjms has to be careful with the criticisms they make because then it comes back double for jimin.

we do hope that jimin doesn't work with 🛵 but they've seen the gigantic potential of jimin on his own without their help, especially in the us...

so be careful when criticizing everything involving rm at the moment because if something happens on jimin's future album they'll make his life hell, showing the hypocrisy of pjms 😬

I understand what you mean I truly do. I mean it's pretty obvious that Hybe has made sure anyone who plans to get radioplay in the us goes through scooter which means Jimin has to go through him if he wants it too, so now we have to think of what happens if he does go through scooter. So yes I understand you but at the same time I'm confused...

This whole conversation seems to be based on the fact that we have concluded that Jimin is for sure going to be linked to him because rm is. I get it but 2 other members released music this year and there was no scooter in sight, so we are focused on the possibility of Jimin working with scooter all because rm did?

So we believe that working with scooter is something that Jimin doesn't mind doing or scooter has now decided he wants a piece of the Jimin pie that he's now made himself a part of pjm2?

It's all the same to me.

Two members released before rm and scooter had nothing to do with it. The only difference between hobi and joons promo so far is radioplay. I just think If we did not have this discussion of "what if?" When everyone was writing Their essays about jk, hybe and scooter then why does it matter now? If rm hadn't gotten radioplay there was still always a slight chance that scooter could be involved with jimins next project after everything that happened last year, it was always a possibility joon getting radioplay or not. So if we didn't care about our words coming back to bite us in the ass back then, why do we care now? Because it's namjoon?

It was ok when the discussion was about jk but no one should say anything about rm? I mean scooter working with Jimin was always a possibility even then so why the sudden change now? There was always a huge chance that it would happen and jjks would drag Jimin and call pjms out on their "hypocrisy" as you say so why does it matter if one more member is added to the mix?

Also this constant need to muzzle people, picking and choosing what we say depending on if y'all like the member or not is annoying. If you can talk about scooter when the conversation was about jk, then there's no point in backtracking now. Jimin would get dragged regardless.

What difference would it make of pjms kept quiet now? They already said more than enough about scooter before now anyways.

In my opinion I'm really not seeing what scooter has done for rm so I'm not going to give him heat, but what pjms are saying now isn't even coming from a place of "oh some members are sellouts and Jimin will never work with scooter". Those tweets are being made because namjoon stans also joined in on the Jimin hate train during face era, they were liking and making tweets calling him all sorts of disgusting names. Any heat he's getting from pjms is just their way of getting his stans to eat their words, just like how pjms would not have cared too much about jk and scooter if jk stans hadn't led the hate train during face era. I'm sure they would have talked about the favoritism regardless but they would not have cared this much if Jimin hadn't been affected by it directly and jjks weren't accusing Jimin of fraud all of face era.

Some of y'all just love to talk without actually thinking or even trying look back to the origin of everything that has happened.

I think it's stupid to worry about people hating on him if scooter does have anything to do with his next work when this whole conversation only started because the stans of other BTS members almost ruined jimins debut. He would get hated on regardless so who gives a fuck?

The question you should be asking yourselves right now is how YOU as a fan would feel about scooter having anything to do with pjm2's promotion rather than caring about Jimin experiencing something that he will experience regardless of what happens.

Me personally, I would rather jimins career progression be left up to fate if working with that man is his only option and honestly if whatever is being given to rm right now is what he would be getting then there's no point to it, just let us carry on like we were because honestly the radioplay is the only good thing I've seen so far. But then again I can't complain after wanting him to make a move. I'm not faulting any member for taking it if this is their only option at any Kind of promo but at the same time I'm not going to try and stop anyone from getting their licks in with hyung line stans.

Pjms are always the ones who have to worry about the consequences of their actions affecting Jimin, the other akgaes have never cared about repercussions when they say the vilest things about him. We'll all live I think, lol.

[i-am-baechu]

Summary: Everything was perfect until it wasn’t. Y/N and Jungkook love each other but when familiar and new faces come into their lives, things get complicated. On top of that, a surprise that truly shakes their plans for the future. Will their relationship push forward or will Jungkook lose his fangirl once and for all?

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Chapter twenty-four: Why Is Love So Hard?

→ Genre: Idol au, established relationships, girl group stan au, social media au, K-pop fan page au, romance, angst, comedy, and smut

→ Main pairing: Idol! Jungkook x Fan girl! Reader 

→ Side ships: Yoongi x OC & Jin x OC

→ Warnings: Explicit language, smut, mature themes, alcohol usage, anxiety disorder, stalking, and obsessive behavior

Author's note: It’s been awhile 💛 I’m glad I’m back and feeling so much better

⇜ Masterlist ⇝

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The conversation with the guys didn’t make Eunbi feel any better. She sighed and tossed her phone next to her pillow. She sighed at her ceiling and closed her eyes, “Why is it so hard?” She turned to her side and all the negative thoughts started to cloud her mind. Am I too big for him? I know I’m not like the other girls and I have thicker thighs...She turned to lay on her stomach as her face was engulfed by her pillows with her stuffed animals falling on her back from the sudden movement. She felt hopeless at this moment and nothing could make her feel better. Well, that's a lie, Jin could make her feel better. 

Back at the Hybe building, Bts (minus Jin) were sitting in the office looking at their leader with intrigued faces. Namjoon pushed his glasses up and pointed at the whiteboard with his marker, “Jin likes Eunbi and we now know Eunbi feels the same. Somehow there’s something stopping Jin from getting with her. Thoughts?”

Jimin raised his eyebrow and glanced at everyone, “Isn’t it obvious?” 

Yoongi scoffed at this and leaned back in his chair looking at Jimin, “Tell us if it's so obvious to you.” 

Taehyung nodded his head and looked at Namjoon, “It’s obvious Jin is scared.”

Jungkook snapped his fingers and pointed at Namjoon, “I remember talking to Hyung one night when I was having problems with Y/N that he was going through some stuff.”

Namjoon raised his eyebrow at this and crossed his arms, “When was this?”

“Maybe a month ago...but I tried asking him but he told me not to worry about it.”

Taehyung sighed at this and leaned back, “Knowing Jin, he’s scared to be with Eunbi. He hasn’t been in a relationship since college. He’s seen what happened to Y/N and it could be a possibility that it's stopping him from being with Eunbi.”

Jungkook sighed and glanced down at the table with a guilty look, “I’m sorry to drag you guys down...”

Hoseok shook his head and rubbed his shoulders gently, “Kook, it’s not your fault. It’s the people doing this.”

Namjoon nodded his head, “My plan is simple, we have Eunbi go on her blind date.”

“Eh!?” 

Hoseok raised his eyebrow as he stared at Namjoon, “Doesn’t that defeat-”

“Trust me on this. It will turn out okay.” 

Y/N stared at Jungkook with a blank face through his phone screen, “Your plan is to make Jin jealous?” 

Jungkook nodded his head slowly as he turned his head on his pillow, “Hyung thinks jealousy will make him do something.” 

She rubbed her eyes as a small yawn came out, “Hopefully he doesn’t get mad at you guys...” 

He let a small smile appear as he looked at her with soft eyes, “Babe, aren’t you sleepy?” 

“I wanted to hear your voice...no matter how tired I am, I need to hear you.” 

He felt his heart soar at this and the way her eyes told him everything he wanted to know, “Likewise...how are you doing?”

“I’m doing okay. I honestly have been feeling better, I think this is what I needed but I do miss you guys.”

“We all miss you. Bam sleeps in your spot sometimes because he misses you but he doesn’t miss you more than I do.”

She let out a small laugh as she cuddled more into her pillow, “You're so cute, kook. You should sleep.” 

He scoffed at this and rolled his eyes, “You should be sleeping. It’s early in the morning for you.”

“It doesn’t matter to me, I got to see you.” 

He rolled his eyes and glanced at Bam with a small smile, “Good morning, babe. I love you.”

“Goodnight, Kook. I love you more. Bye~.” 

Jungkook watched her disappear and sighed to himself, “I wonder how tomorrow will go.” 

1:35 ───ㅇ───── 3:47 

Jungkook is really awkward. He kept glancing at Jin as he mindlessly played on his phone while they were on break from recording. Today was the day that the plan was deployed and he had no idea how it would turn out. It can go good, Jin runs to Eunbi and they get together or it can go bad; Jin letting Eunbi slip away because he let fear take over. It was an anxiety attack waiting to happen. 

He felt someone hit his shoulder and turned to see Jimin looking at him, “Dude, stop staring.”

“I can’t help it. I’m nervous about this whole thing.”

“It’s going to go well.” 

Jin looked up from his phone and raised his eyebrow at them, “You guys are whispering, that’s not good.” 

Jungkook looked at Jin with a nervous look and shrugged his shoulders, “Just talking about lyrics...just lyrics.”

“What about them?” 

Jimin fought back from rolling his eyes and looked at Jin with a smile, “That the song is good and we can’t wait for Army to listen.”

Jin nodded his head at this and looked back at his phone. Jungkook let out a sigh of relief as Taehyung let out a small laugh to see how nervous he was. Namjoon glanced at Yoongi who gave him a small shrug. Even though Namjoon made this plan, he wasn’t sure if it would work. He knew how Jin was which is why he made it but you also never know. 

Jin glanced up and looked at Yoongi with a frown, “Eunbi has a date?”

Oh no...Jungkook glanced at Yoongi who didn’t make eye contact with him. Yoongi looked at Jin and shrugged his shoulders, “Does she?”

“She posted on Twitter about going to this cafe with this guy...Who's this guy?”

Yoongi glanced at Jin’s phone with a raised eyebrow, “I guess she does have a date...I thought you were talking to her?”

Jin looked at his phone and then back at Yoongi. He didn't say anything but he got up and headed towards the bathroom as Jungkook watched with a frown. When he walked out of the room, Jungkook looked at Namjoon with a worried face, “Namjoon, what are we going to do? He looked really hurt.”

Namjoon took a sip of his coffee and sighed, “We have to wait and see what Jin is going to do. He has to act now so can be with her or he will lose her.”

Hoseok nodded his head and glanced at Jungkook, “A brutal wake-up call.”

Jungkook sighed and nodded his head, “I just don't want him hurt.”

Yoongi leaned back on the couch with his arms behind his head, “What about Eunbi? She’s hurting too.”

“I know that but...I don’t know it just feels cruel to do to him.”

Jimin wrapped his arm around her shoulders and smiled, “Again a brutal wake-up call.” 

Jin walked back in and grabbed his jacket off of the chair. Taehyung raised his eyebrow at him, “Where are you going?”

“I have somewhere to be. I’ll be back.”

No one was able to answer Jin because he ran out with everyone watching with knowing looks. Namjoon looked at Jungkook and smiled, “Told you it would work.” 

Jin ran out of the building and closed his car door. He has never felt this kind of rush before, the rush of losing something. He put the directions on his phone and headed down to Eunbi. He wasn’t going to lose her because of his self-doubts. There was no way he was going to let that happen. He glanced at the red light with fingers tapping on his steering wheel as he waited. He felt sweat go down his neck as he felt the nerves coming up.

He quickly parked the car and ran into the cafe with a mask on. He glanced around the cafe and his eyes landed on Eunbi who was sitting by herself with a lemonade. He smiled to himself and ran towards her, “Eunbi...”

She looked up and saw Jin looking back at her. Her eyes widened and she looked at him with pure shock, “Jin? What are you doing here?” 

 “I’m here to get my girl.”

“Huh?”

Jin sighed and sat in the chair in front of her, “Eunbi, I was so worried that everyone would hurt you but I was hurting you. I wanted to protect you from what Y/N was going through but I wasn’t doing a good job at that. Eunbi, please give me another chance. I...I really really like you.” 

Eunbi's mouth dropped and she quickly shut it with a wide smile, “I really really like you too. Are you going to make this work?”

“Yes, I’ll do anything.”

Eunbi nodded her head and stirred her drink with a small smirk, “Anything?”

“Should I be nervous?”

“I want those special photo cards that you guys had last month.”

Jin let out a laugh and leaned back in his chair, “That’s what you want?”

“Yeah, for now.” 

Jin raised his eyebrow at this and placed his hand on top of hers, “For now?”

“Just let me have my fun.”

Jin looked around and looked back at her, “Where’s your date?”

“Oh, I told him to leave after he called me fat.”

Jin scoffed at this and brought her hand to his lip to place a quick kiss, “You're perfect, no matter what. So beautiful.” 

“You're still in the dog house.”

“I know but I just wanted to state a fact.” 

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Tag List:

@agustdpeach @mdavt @aloverga @drissteele @xngelsau

[not-goldy]

thank you again, I really like Tae and feel his goofiness is endearing. I appreciate him all the more now.

You welcome.

Just becareful navigating these stan spaces. Have your own mind. Have your own internal values and don't compromise that no matter what and you should be fine.

And of course stay away from the miserable stans looking to spread negativity and misery. Feel free to block even me if I veer that route

If you wanna get a feel of who he is pay attention to his friendships with Namjoon and Hobi too. One he looks to as a mentor, one he's ever wanted to be validated by. He's an intriguing person.

Unfortunately you won't get a good view of his friendship with Jungkook and Jin on ship street because it's hypersexualized. But once you can tell the difference I'd recommend you look into that too and find level headed Tae Kook Tae Jin stans to discuss their dynamic with.

I'll also recommend you watch his solo lives and check out the songs he plays on there. Helps you grasp how complex of an emotional being he is.

Watch him on Run to see just how cunning he can be too!

There's so much depth to him and so many angles to explore!

Don't just stream his songs to boost his metricslike some do dissect the lyrics ponder over it engage intellectually with it and fall in love with his words and artistry.

Have fun and welcome to the community 😊

For starters I'm open to discussing his song Stigma or any of your choosing with you when you have time. Listen to it read around it and come back and let's compare notes🙃

[flwerie]

𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐋𝐘 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐈𝐍𝐆 . . . FLORIST!NAMJOON !

FLORIST!NAMJOON who decided to work as a florist because of his love for nature despite his destructive hands, and he’s surprisingly quite good at it.

FLORIST!NAMJOON who surprises you with the most beautiful bouquets. he has a talent for making the most magnificent bouquet arrangements for you, whether it’s a special occasion or a random to match your mood of the day.

FLORIST!NAMJOON who develops a secret language of flowers with you and uses his expertise to send unique and romantic messages through the carefully chosen blooms.

FLORIST!NAMJOON whose shop becomes a safe and tranquil haven with the scent of fresh plants, music playing in the background and his warm presence to make you at ease.

FLORIST!NAMJOON who likes exploring botanical gardens, attending flower festivals or enjoying picnics surrounded by nature with you as a date.

FLORIST!NAMJOON who teach you how to tend plants and it becomes an activity you share together.

FLORIST!NAMJOON who makes special arrangements for every season, from cherry blossoms and tulips in spring to poppies in autumn to celebrate it.

FLORIST!NAMJOON who surprises you with a single flower before bedtime to symbolize his love for you. That gesture becomes a sweet nightly tradition as a simple reminder of your love for each other.

I wrote this because I miss Namjoon, but also because we, Namjoon stans, know how much he loves nature and even with those destructive hands of his, he really take care of plants

[solarwynd]

PJM2 is rumored to be next, so if namjoon's title track flops and doesn't chart, it will be hell for jimin yet again. If I'm being honest, I think that come back to me shouldn't have been released as a single bc it's too damn long and it's boring unfortunately. It's not surprising that it didn't chart. For jimin's sake I hope namjoon's title track performs better because I don't want to deal with their fuck shit during jimin's era.

“PJM2 is rumored to be next, so if namjoon's title track flops and doesn't chart, it will be hell for jimin yet again.”

With you saying this, it made me realize how TH really didn’t get much or any blow back for doubling Hobi’s numbers with Friends from armys or Hobi’s solos…

He’s gotta release a better song that people actually vibe with (not the fake hype armys like to give) to even get a chance at doing better.

But it’s not like they can act like Joon wasn’t afforded a boost with radio and CDS. And for a pre release at that. Like I understand neither was in that good of quantity, but it’s still an advantage. And If Jimin gets neither or the same and still outperforms, what can the say? What are they gonna do but be bitter and stew in the fact that rapline just don’t have the individual stan capacity nor armys that care or like the music enough to support them. And that’s not Jimin’s fault.

They’re gonna find something to compare and contrast regardless if the title track does better than CBTM or not cause despite Jimin not being the most successful member, they’ve all still made him the standard. So we are gonna be dealing with other members’ solos. Expect it. Especially if how LC still performing well on spotify global and US is any indication.

[borathae]

↳ Index [Chapter 27 - Guilt]

Warnings: nightmares, Jimin is finally bettering himself, she keeps overthinking, Yoongi is going through it this chapter hahaha not in a bad way, this is both very sweet but also has sad moments

Wordcount: 7.1k

a/n: we stan a man wanting to do better

The kitchen is filled with the smell of food. The air dances in the music of Hoseok’s playlist. The latter is currently showing off a dance move to Yoongi, who shows him his support by nodding his head as his arms are crossed in front of his chest.

“Are you getting the peppers soon?” Seokjin calls over his shoulder.

“Yeah, yeah soon. God, I was showing off my moves”, Hoseok whines, stopping his dance, “sorry hyung, it’ll have to wait.”

“Yeah, yeah”, Yoongi dismisses him but overall he looks very content with himself.

“What did you think of it?”

“It looked good”, Yoongi praises him which makes Hoseok show off a huge grin.

“You guys seem to have fun”, you call their attention.

“Oh guys, finally you’re done. The entire house heard you”, Hoseok says.

“What do you mean?”

Hoseok rolls his hips in a sexual way, making weird faces as he does.

“Eh-hey”, he says, wiggling his brows.

“You’re so gross, will you finally get the peppers?” Seokjin hisses.

Hoseok stumbles away with a cackle, soon disappearing in the pantry.

“Did you actually…”

“No. He’s gross and listened in”, Seokjin answers you, studying you from head to toe, “how are you doing, Taehyung?”

“Good thank you for asking. And you?” he says.

“Good, yeah”, Seokjin purses his lips in preparation for what he will say, “I’m glad you’re feeling better.”

“Oh uhm”, Taehyung lowers his gaze shyly, “thank you, that means a lot to me.”

“Mhm yeah”, Seokjin turns back to the stove, stirring the onion with bright red ears.

“I’m happy too”, Emma says, giving Taehyung a sweet smile, “we have to do another dance party soon. I’ll get my Banjo then”, she adds.

“Certainly!” Taehyung nods his head vigorously, “oh, I haven’t played folk in so long, we ought to do it soon.”

“Definitely”, she says, flashing him one last smile before returning to her task of dicing the pumpkin.

Taehyung looks at you with sparkling eyes. Did you see that? He says with that look, we are finally getting along. For the first time in far too many months his eyes carried honest life in them again and you are so happy that they do, hoping that it will never die out again. 

You lean in to peck his cheek, telling him that you were happy with it.

Taehyung inches closer to Seokjin and Emma afterwards, joining their middle.

“Can I help somehow? The food smells amazing already. What are we cooking?” he asks.

“Roasted pumpkin and pepper soup, it’s best for autumn days like today”, Emma tells him.

“Oh, that sounds lovely. You know, we were thinking about having a winter holiday party, perhaps we can cook it then too.”

“A winter holiday party? That sounds so much fun.”

“Definitely. I have already planned everything…”

Their conversation soon fades out into the background.

“Good morning”, you greet Yoongi, “did you sleep well?”

“I didn’t sleep.”

“Why? Are you okay? Did the conversation take so long? Are you okay? How did it go?”

“It went alright. He'll think about himself."

“And he is still alive, right?”

Yoongi scowls at you, “I told you that I wouldn’t kill him, didn’t I? Stop distrusting me.”

“Gosh, no I didn’t mean it like that. Thank you for talking to him.”

“Mhm”, Yoongi nods his head.

“So why did you stay awake all night?”

“I followed a supposed trail to Namjoon.”

“And? How did that go?”

“It lead to nothing”, he says and huffs out air.

“Gosh, that sucks. I’m sure we’ll find him soon”, you assure him.

“I hope”, he murmurs then goes to study your face, “you look…” his eyes flit to your middle then back to your face, “…well rested.”

“I am”, you pull him close to you, kissing his lips that way.

“Mhm”, Yoongi hums in acknowledgement, stepping back as inconspicuously as possible before that could happen. He ignores the confused look you send his way because of it.

Hoseok returns with the peppers.

“So guys, about this morning. I assume we are all goody good again?”

“Jesus christ Hoseok, you’re such a pervert. Can you stop talking about it?” Yoongi hisses.

“I’m just asking. They were really going at it.”

Yoongi frowns, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“Yeah and apparently forgetting their training”, he murmurs, sending Jungkook a look.

“In my defence”, Jungkook begins, “I was only doing what you told me I could do. And Taehyung took watch.”

“I did”, Taehyung turns, looking proud.

“I know”, Yoongi answers him dryly, studying him from head to toe.

“And? What do you think of it? Did I do well?” he asks, nudging Yoongi’s chest.

“I guess.”

Taehyung grins proudly, “see? I told you, I know a thing or two about control as well. Now you don’t have to be his only teacher anymore, I can help too.”

Yoongi turns his head to the side, tightening the grip he has on his own arms, “mhm.”

“So you listened in too”, Hoseok says, wiggling his brows, “you pervert.”

“Hey, don’t call me a pervert. You did it first”, Yoongi complains.

“Did I?” Hoseok wiggles your brows.

“Whatever, I only did it to make sure Jungkook stayed in control.”

“Mhm sure and it wasn’t because you’re into it.”

Yoongi frowns again, giving Hoseok a little growl and a flash of his fangs.

Hoseok snickers.

“How about we all agree on not listening in on people having sex from now on, yeah?” you say, feeling like getting swallowed by the ground would be way more comfortable.

“I only did it to make sure you’re safe”, Yoongi murmurs, pouting which earns him one of your looks.

“In my defence, I listen in on Seokjin and Emma too”, Hoseok says.

“Yah!” Seokjin exclaims, head snapping up quickly, “what did you just say? Come here you little bastard”, he says, soon chasing Hoseok with a spatula in one hand and a dish towel in the other.

“Hoseok, Seokjin can you two behave?” Emma tells them with fondness in her eyes, “we need those peppers.”

“I’ll cut them”, Yoongi says, snatching them and a cutting board.

“Thank you hun, you are a darling”, Emma says, returning to the soup.

“I want to do something too”, Jungkook says.

“I wanted to bake bread”, Yoongi says, “the recipe’s in my book.”

“On it, bread it is. ___, Tae do you want to help me?”

“Of course!” Taehyung exclaims, hurrying to Jungkook’s side. He back hugs him, swaying their bodies from side to side with his chin resting on his shoulder.

“Just tell me what to do”, you say, staying between Jungkook and Yoongi.

You end up reading the ingredients while Taehyung is the one getting them and Jungkook is stuck with the duty of kneading. Every now and then he giggles when Taehyung decides to nibble on his neck or shoulder, telling the older vampire to stop it whilst never really fighting him off.

Yoongi in the meantime finishes the peppers and brings them to Emma, returning to your side afterwards.

“The dough is – Tae stop biting me – the dough is finished what should I do next?” Jungkook says with Taehyung nuzzled into his neck.

“Maybe start with a little less biting and more kneading?” you tease.

Taehyung lifts his head, grinning boyishly.

“I feel like you want to tell me something, darling”, he says.

“Of course not, you little sweetie just aren’t helpful”, you say, nudging his arm.

“But Kookie smells so good”, Taehyung pouts, resting his cheek on Jungkook’s shoulder, “I want to eat him.”

Jungkook gulps, staring at you and Yoongi with big eyes. His cheeks are rosy.

“Didn’t you do that enough this morning?” Yoongi throws in, eyes sparkling in unsure anticipation if his joke was funny.

Taehyung widens his eyes then snorts very ungracefully.

“Oh dear hyung, did you just joke?” he says.

“Why?” Yoongi crosses his arms in front of his chest.

“Nothing, you are simply hilarious”, Taehyung stumbles away from Jungkook to instead hug Yoongi, getting stopped by Yoongi raising his hand in a stopping motion before he can.

“Okay, don’t overstep your privilege now.”

Taehyung laughs, “come on, just one hug.”

“No, you’re making it weird. Fuck off.” 

“Okay then”, Taehyung says and falls around Yoongi’s neck instead.

Yoongi freezes up, staring at nothing with widened eyes and his arms stretched from his body. 

“What did I just tell you?”

“But I want to”, Taehyung murmurs into Yoongi’s shoulder. 

“Why?”

“Because I want to. You deserve a hug. For helping me last night and for talking to him and for being a great friend. I felt so alone lately, but now I don’t anymore. Thank you, hyung.”

“Uhm. Yeah.”

Yoongi pats Taehyung on the back twice, carrying an awkward look on his face.

“Are you done now?” he asks. 

Taehyung shakes his head, pulling Yoongi closer. 

“What are you doing? Can you”, he huffs out air, “can you not?” 

“But hyung, I love you.”

“Get off of me”, Yoongi says, wiggling in Taehyung’s hold. 

Taehyung snickers, “no.”

“Just piss off”, Yoongi hisses, pushing at Taehyung, “seriously Tae, I’ll break your arms if you don’t let go.”

Taehyung gives Yoongi a tight squeeze.

“No. Leave me alone. I don’t want this”, Yoongi complains, fighting the younger vampire vehemently. 

Not that he ever truly uses his strength. He is just weird about all of this. Weird and nervous like nothing else.

Taehyung giggles and finally steps back, flashing Yoongi a boyish grin.

“You’re so cold-hearted hyung. Do you not love me back?” he says, earning himself a dramatic eye roll, “do you not love me, hyung?”

“You’re so weird sometimes”, Yoongi fixes his shirt, looking to the side in shyness.

Taehyung cackles. Now everything is just how it is supposed to be. Safe for you.

Taehyung forces his arms under your own arms, hugging your middle that way.

“Oh you”, you squeak before giggling loudly, “gosh, you cutie what are you doing?”

“I’m hugging you”, Taehyung smiles brightly, “have I told you today that you are beautiful?”

“Gosh Tae”, you rest against his chest, “you’re flustering me so much.”

“So are you guys all a thing now?” Hoseok asks.

“What do you mean?”

“I just mean, you four”, he gestures between you, “are you all dating? Like a foursome thing?”

“No”, Yoongi says instantly, “we’re not.”

“But you all seem really close.”

“That is because Yoongi doesn’t know what he is talking about”, Taehyung says, “of course we are dating”, he says and tries to take Yoongi into a group hug with you and Jungkook.

“Can you let off?” Yoongi hisses, fleeing instantly, “just because we agreed on getting along, doesn’t mean I wanna date you.”

“Did I say something wrong?”

“Yes, I’m not dating you. Get that out of your head.”

Taehyung grins, “I’ll get you there eventually. I got Kookie too, didn’t I?” he says and nuzzles his nose into Jungkook’s neck.

The latter giggles loudly, “god Tae, you’re tickling me.”

“Tch”, and with that Yoongi turns away, ready to leave.

“Hey hyung, don’t leave”, Hoseok says, holding his wrist, “sorry for asking.”

“It’s fine, you couldn’t have known with all the clingy shit going on”, he assures him.

“God hyung, why are you so grumpy today?” Taehyung asks with a pout.

“I’m not grumpy”, he throws back, “can you give me space?”

“Of course, that’s a given.”

“Thanks. I’m gonna leave now. I need to meet someone.”

“Who are you meeting?” Seokjin asks.

“Just someone important. See you later.”

He leaves the kitchen in big steps.

“Well, that didn’t go as planned”, Hoseok mumbles, “shouldn’t I have asked?”

“I don’t know”, Jungkook says, looking at you just like all the others do.

“What?” you ask them,

“Can you talk to him?” Taehyung asks you, “he listens to you.”

“Y-yeah sure, I’ll talk to him”, you say, hurrying after Yoongi with an irregular pulse.

Deep down you hope that he has already left and you don’t have to talk to him. What if he brings up what happened with Suzy? Maybe that is why he is so pissed off today. Because he is angry that you had fun this morning instead of being sick in guilt. What if he wants to talk about it now? After all, he is the only person who didn’t talk to you about it yet. You have no idea what you should say if he decides to make this day the day.

Yoongi however is still present, putting on his coat. He looks at you through the mirror.

“Do you need something?” he asks.

“No uhm, Tae sent me”, you tell him.

“Ah”, Yoongi looks away, fingers working quickly to close the buttons, “what does he want?”

“He just wanted to know if you are angry at him.”

“A little yeah.”

“Do you want to tell me?”

Yoongi exhales loudly, looking at you again. He shakes his head, walking away from the mirror to put on his boots. He sits down for it.

“Okay uhm. What should I tell him you told me?”

Yoongi lifts his head, “are we in middle school that you have to play messenger? Why can’t he talk to me personally?” he hisses.

“Sorry, you’re right. I’ll tell him that”, you say, turning on your heels.

“No, wait”, Yoongi stops you.

You look over your shoulder.

“Come here”, he says in a soft voice, patting his thigh.

You waddle to him and sit down on it, avoiding eye contact.

“Can you look at me?” he asks, placing his fingers under your chin to turn your head gently.

You do so with heated cheeks.

“I’m not angry at you. You know that, don’t you?” he says softly, caressing your chin.

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Good”, he lets go of your chin, placing his hand on your thigh instead. It feels warm and heavy on your lap, “is there anything else you want to talk about?”

“No!” you exclaim instantly, jumping up from his lap, “there is nothing to talk about. I just came here for Taehyung, you know?”

Yoongi studies your sudden panicked face with his brows knitted in confusion.

“Okay”, he says, looking away to finish closing his boots.

“Okay then. Then that is talked about too, I’ll tell Tae that you want him to talk to you personally and then we have nothing else to talk about.”

“Yes, okay?” Yoongi stands up, studying your face with even more confusion.

“Okay bye, we’ll see each other later.”

“Princess”, he takes your hand gently, preventing you from turning away.

“W-what?”

“Can I not get a kiss at least?” he asks, mind going haywire in sudden insecurity. Why are you literally drowning in the scent of fear? What did he do? He wonders those questions as you stare at him.

You nod your head and lean in for a kiss. Yoongi makes sure that you deepen it with his right hand holding your face and his left hand pressing you close by the small of your back.

“I’ll miss you”, he murmurs between kisses, “I’ll miss you like crazy, princess”, he whispers, sealing his words by kissing you oh so deeply. He breaks the kiss, letting your lower lip slip from between his teeth. It leaves your lips so tender, “you’ll miss me too, won’t you?” he asks as quietly as possible.

“Of course I’ll miss you”, you answer him, stubbing his nose with your own, “please be careful, my love.”

“I’m always careful”, he says and his voice carries a certain lightness to it all of a sudden, “be careful too, my princess. Don’t leave the house without the others, yeah?”

“Yes, okay.”

You open your eyes at the same time as Yoongi. He is blurry from being so close to you, but you can’t quite pull back yet.

“That’s my best girl”, he whispers, caressing your cheekbone before taking a step back.

He puts his gloves on afterwards, eyes locked on your face, “if you need anything just call me.”

“Okay.”

“You know that you can talk to me about anything, right?”

You lower your eyes, nodding your head.

“Good”, he says, slinging his arm around your waist just to pull you into him and kiss your cheek, “so is there something you want to tell me?”

“No uhm, no please just be careful my love.”

“Mhm”, he nudges your cheek with his nose, “I will.”

“Good”, you say, daring to look into his eyes and meeting fondness in them, “see you later.”

“See you later, my princess.”

Yoongi leaves after one careful look at your face. You won’t see him for the rest of the day and you’ll go to sleep alone after taking a way too long shower where your mind wandered to the most traumatic day of your life.

Lights flicker. The air smells acidic. The walls are red, the carpet on the ground is soaked in blood. The realisation of where you are is instant. You turn and run.

“No please no”, you beg, “wake up ___ wake up, you’re dreaming!” You can hear yourself but you don’t listen. Someone behind you is calling your name. A woman. She is calling you a murderer. Over and over again. You look over your shoulder. She has gotten closer than last night. Her face is still hidden. “Wake up!” you scream, reaching for the door which lies closed before you. “Fucking wake up ___!” you scream, ripping the door open.

Your eyes open. The room is dark. The air smells nothing like the stinging stench of blood. Exhaling shakily, you sit up and turn the lights on. The room appears in front of you, pulling you back to reality just enough to calm down your racing heart. You aren’t sleeping anymore. You are safe again. You are safe.

“I fucking hate this”, you press out, rubbing your own forehead to still the memory of the lasting dream, “I need air.”

You leave the lights on and leave in nothing but your pyjamas and slippers.

You regret your clothing choice once outside. The night is punishing, making you shiver within seconds and yet you don’t mind. Feeling cold means that you can at least feel something other than that awful, awful guilt in your stomach. It sits so heavy in there, reminding you each night why you shouldn’t do things like laugh or joke with the others.

The bench on which you sit down is wet under you, soaking your bottoms until even your skin is soaked. You take this sensation over the burning of blood soaking through your shoes. Each and every single night. Every single fucking night you are walking through too much blood. It’s so exhausting.

“Fuck”, you press out, lowering your head. A shiver runs through your body so aggressively that you physically have to exhale to make it easier to bear.

You are so tired.

A sound beside you makes you lift your head again.

Jimin is sitting next to you. He acknowledges you with a nod of his head, but turns it to look at the view instead.

You turn away too, locking your eyes on the one star you can see on the cloudy sky. It is almost flickering, as if it was fighting for its right on the sky. As if someone was trying to snuff it out while it screamed in order to be acknowledged as important. Flickering, flickering, flickering. Like those lights in your dreams. Endless flickering. You shake off the memory, squeezing the edge of the bench. Jimin doesn’t react.

“Are you just going to sit here?” you ask into the silence.

“Should I do a handstand instead?” he throws back.

You let out a tired chuckle, kicking a little pebble into the nothingness of the night.

“I don’t want to talk.”

“I know, I don’t want to talk either.”

“Okay, good.”

“Good.”

He settles back. You stare at your own feet. Your stomach is so tight in guilt. You hate feeling like this. You would do anything to turn it off. You sneak a glance at Jimin. Turning it all off…

“How does it feel?” you ask him.

“Didn’t you say you didn’t want to talk?”

“Yeah well…” you lower your head.

Jimin sneaks a glance at you then looks away. He thinks that you smell of fear, guilt and tiredness tonight. He wonders why you do, but doesn’t want to ask.

“How does what feel?” he probes.

“Turning off your emotions.”

Jimin is silent, which makes you sneak a glance at him to see if he hadn’t heard you. But he did, staring at you with slight shock in his eyes.

“I keep wondering”, you say.

He breathes out and looks back at the sky.

“Why do you want to know?”

“Because I want to know.”

“I see.”

“So? How does it feel?”

“Like taking a deep breath after being underwater for too long”, he answers you.

“Does it work instantly?”

“Yes, it’s instant. One moment you are hurting so much that you want to scream and kick and claw at something and then you flip it and it’s gone. All of it. All of the pain, the loss, the guilt and heartbreak. It’s as if it never even existed”, he sighs, “and that’s when you finally feel free.”

“And it really helps? You truly feel nothing?”

“Oh no, you still feel. But it’s more that all those things which really hurt, stop affecting you and all those things you enjoy feel like one endless epic acid trip. You’re there, but you’re not really there. There are consequences but they don’t affect you because they can’t hurt you. You know?”

“That must be nice.”

Jimin turns to study your features.

“It’s not”, he says coldly, “because you become an asshole. A cold, heartless asshole and once you wake up? Once you flick that switch? All those moments where you hurt strangers or the people important to you come back to you and then. Ohoho then”, he touches his chest, “then you really want to die. Because nothing hurts more than waking up from a good dream only to realise that you were the nightmare of so many others.”

“But at least you won’t feel like shit.”

“True, except when you do. Tenfolds.”

“I guess.”

“But why are you even asking? You’re human, it’s not like you can choose.”

You stay silent long enough that Jimin finds out that your fingers have been fumbling with the necklace around your neck all this time. The one carrying the vial of Taehyung’s blood.

“No”, he says, “don’t even think about it.”

“Why not? At least I could have an option.”

“An option? Now stop it”, he pulls your hand away, “you’re seriously considering throwing your life away because of what? A bad day? A random sad mood?”

“I killed someone.”

“So? We all did.”

“It hurts”, you barely get out and then your eyes fill with tears.

“I know. Your first kill always hurts the most.”

“I can’t stop thinking about it. When I, I close my eyes I, I see her face right before I killed her. It’s still so clear to me as, as if I was doing it over and over again.”

“It’s terrible isn’t it? You feel nothing in the moment, but feel like fucking shit afterwards.”

“Yes”, you croak, doing the unthinkable of letting out a sob.

Jimin watches you bury your face in your hands and then begin shaking in your sobs.

He pulls a grimace of helpless distaste.

“Don’t cry”, he says.

“I feel so awful. I, I can’t do this. Not even getting killed by you and Namjoon traumatised me as much. I, I had nightmares, but felt fine. But this is consuming me. I can’t stop thinking about it. It’s all I’m thinking about. It’s not leaving me.”

“And it probably won’t for a long time, but it’s only natural to think about it. You killed someone and that shit is awful.”

You sob miserably.

“Hell, most people live their life without ever knowing how it is to kill. But you’re not most people and if you hadn’t done what you did then we’d all be dead. All of us. Tae, me, the others. We’d all be dead.”

You lift your head from your hands to look at him.

“You saved us. What you did wasn’t murder, it was our rescue.”

Jimin scoots closer and gives your arm a soft tap. Just once and then he pulls back again.

“You’ll feel guilty for quite some time. You’ll also think of that bitch’s face for a long time. But I hope you don’t feel ashamed in front of us. Because we don’t see you as someone deserving of shame. We all killed people and what you did?” He shakes his head. “None of us even consider this a killing. You did the right thing.”

You sob.

And Jimin reaches out and taps your arm again.

“Especially Yoongi doesn’t see you differently”, he says and being called out on the one thing which has been hurting you like nothing else feels suffocating. But it feels especially suffocating because it came from Jimin.

You stare at him, “what do you mean?”

“Because Yoongi to you is what Tae’s to me and I know how I felt whenever Namjoon made me kill people in front of him.”

“Oh.”

“And I know Yoongi. He doesn’t see you any differently. Hell. Knowing him, he’s beating himself up about what happened.”

You sniffle.

You look away.

You wonder if what you are witnessing is actually real.

You come to the conclusion that it is and look back at Jimin.

“How do you do it?” you ask him.

“Do what?”

“Live with blood on your hands? How do you do it so you don’t see yourself differently?”

He laughs with pain in his voice, “honey, it’s a little too late to ask me that”, he says but furrows his brows in seriousness when he sees how nervous you look because of it. He takes a deep breath and releases it by exhaling through his nose. “By covering it in more blood?” he is only partially joking but it makes you laugh nonetheless.

Jimin allows a tiny chuckle to slip past his lips as well, giving your arm a soothing pat. “And by pretending that what I did was the right thing? Or that it wasn’t my fault in the first place”, he says, staring at the night with lifeless eyes, “all those massacres? Just because I needed to sustain my body. All the torture? I did because Namjoon wanted me to. My wife?” He lowers his head.“I haven’t found an excuse for that one yet”, he confesses in a whisper.

“It was Namjoon’s fault”, you say.

Jimin turns his head, locking eyes with you. It feels as if this right here is the moment he truly looked into your eyes for the first time. That this right here was the moment where he allowed your connection to be real.

“Tae told me how you got turned. It was Namjoon’s fault.”

“You know my story?”

“Yes, Tae told me. He wanted the world to know the real you.”

“And you listened?”

“Of course I did. It meant a lot to him. You deserved it too. I feel like you were really trying to be better in those last few weeks before your death. “

Jimin pulls his arm away and scoots back. He seems flustered.

“I’m sorry by the way. I tried running as fast as possible, but I couldn’t get there in time”, you tell him.

“Don’t”, Jimin says, “I died for a good cause. Besides, I’m still here am I not?”

You nod your head.

“Do you know how it is?”

“What?”

“Afterlife.”

“Peaceful.”

“So you were there?”

“Mhm-hm for a while. It was a meadow. It was endless and the sun never set. I kept running because I could smell my favourite food in the distance. So I ran and ran and realised that I was so incredibly slow because I was human again. And then I cried and ran faster because I finally understood what happened and it made me so incredibly happy and excited to finally find my peace.”

He exhales shakily.

“I fell then and someone dragged me back. And I screamed and cried and begged those hands to let me go. And the smell became lesser and lesser again until suddenly I saw nothing and felt as if I was being burned alive.”

He lowers his eyes.

“Then I woke up again and looked into Thea’s face and I knew that I was back on earth again”, he whispers, carrying heartbreak in his voice.

“I’m sorry, this must have been awful.”

“It was.”

“But you have Tae back.”

“Yes”, Jimin smiles honestly, “I have him back.”

“I’m happy that you do, because Taehyung is happy when you’re with him.”

Jimin sneaks a glance your way. For just a second he seems honest in his emotions. Gratefulness and maybe just the slightest bit of fondness. But then he flusters and the honesty disappears.

“When you’re not being a complete and utter manipulative asshole that is”, you add, “you were being a really shitty person when you told Tae that I was the one forcing you to bite me.”

“I know”, Jimin says, lowering his eyes, “I’m sorry. I was scared that he’ll hate me otherwise.”

“Yeah well, if you keep being a dick to anyone he cares about, maybe one day he will.”

Jimin snorts, lifting his brows in agreement, “I heard this quite a lot those past few days.”

“Yeah ‘cause it’s true. I know you have good in you. All those great stories Tae told me about you are proof enough.”

“Tae’s a dreamer.”

“So why did you sit with me right now and listen to me be sad?”

“You’re sitting on my thinking bench”, he answers you, making you snort.

“I don’t think that’s it. I think you actually want to be good, but don’t know how to start.”

“You sound like Yoongi”, Jimin murmurs, looking to the side with a tense jaw.

“I mean, at least now you know that two people think that way.”

Jimin shakes his head.

You study his face long enough that he sends you a look. 

“What?” he asks, lifting his brows in a challenge. 

“I just don’t know what to make of you.”

“The fuck do you mean by that?”

“You’re acting like a dick most of the time and yet somehow I never really...I don’t know, you’re not a dick to me.”

He scoffs, “and why should I be?”

“I don’t know. Maybe because you’re a dick to everyone?”

“That’s not true. I’m just a dick to people who deserve it.”

“Yeah? Like Yoongi?” you ask in a scoff. 

“We talked about that shit. You don’t gotta dwell on it anymore”, he hisses.

“You did?”

“Yeah.”

“That explains why you seem chill tonight.”

“I guess.”

He looks away and seems embarrassed by the conversation.

“I still gotta ask though. Why were you never mean to me? Except the one time you lied about the club, but even there you listened once I sat you down. Why do you even listen to me in the first place?”

“I don’t know what you want me to say. I’m not a total dick all the time you know?” he says and clicks his tongue.

“I like you when you aren’t. You know?”

“Ew, please don’t.”

“Mean.”

“Sorry.” 

“Was that an apology?”

“No? The fuck’s you on about?”

You scoff and chuckle.

“You’re so weird sometimes.”

“You’re weird.”

You laugh and to your surprise, Jimin lets out a little chuckle as well. 

You and he exchange a look. 

“Why is it so hard for you to be good all the time and not just sometimes?”

“It’s not hard, I’m just not a good person.”

“Didn’t you just say that you aren’t a dick all the time?”

“Not being a dick all the time and being a good person isn’t the same thing.”

“I guess”, you nudge his arm, “so why can’t you be good? Is it because of Namjoon?”

He turns his head quickly, looking at you with widened eyes.

“Why are you always asking me that?” he hisses.

“Because I want to know.”

Jimin grinds his teeth, lowering his eyes in anger.

“So what if it is because of him?” he spits, “what good does it to you to know that it’s because of him? It won’t change the fact that I’m still an asshole.”

You study his features long enough that Jimin feels the need to turn his head away again, shifting in embarrassment.

“Your days are going to be peaceful from now on”, you whisper.

Jimin glances at you with disbelief deep in his eyes.

“I’m positive that they will be.”

“Tzt.”

You look at Jimin. He is picking at the skin on his fingers, staring at the ground with fearful eyes. Perhaps he is wondering when those days will end again. Like they always did in the past when he thought himself safe only to be reminded that chaos exists. Taehyung told you about those days. There was a farm, apple trees and a woman named Ava, who sometimes loved to dress up as a man. And that chaos came after one year of tranquillity and that they lost everything again. There were many stories like that. Many stories that felt like hope, but ended in chaos. You think that Jimin feels just like this right now. That he wonders when those days of hope will be shattered by the cruel hands of chaos again.

“Should we hug each other?” you ask quietly.

Jimin turns his head to you, “what kind of request is that?”

You shrug your shoulders, “I don’t know. I just figured that maybe we both need a hug tonight.”

He falters, punching his own palm repeatedly as his eyes run over your features. Then he exhales, straightening up. He scoots closer, placing his arms around you in complete silence. You wrap your arms around him as well, resting your chin on his shoulder.

He shudders in an almost angry exhale. His face falls against your neck, lips brushing against your skin in the process.

You bury your hand in his hair, making sure he stays close, “now let’s stay like this for a bit.”

Jimin doesn’t have his eyes closed because quite frankly he would hate himself if he gave in to his urges. He looks outside at the endless night and the painting of light and shadow the moon cast onto the earth. He doesn’t like the hug while at the same time hoping that it would never end. Namjoon took everything from him. He thinks of it. His life, his people, his lovers, his bond with Taehyung, his carelessness, his restful nights and his feelings. Namjoon ruined him. There is no person in his life who hurt him as much as he did.

Jimin closes his arms around your waist as tightly as possible.

There is no night where he doesn’t have trouble falling asleep, let alone sleep longer than an hour for nightmares of all the torture he was put through pull him awake again. Jimin hasn’t slept well ever since he was turned and he is so exhausted.

So, so exhausted.

He closes his eyes for he felt so terribly tired. He closes his eyes and lets those shadows on the ground disappear from his vision.

You thought that you wouldn’t enjoy the hug but you do. He feels good. His arms are strong but his hands are gentle and there is something in the way he holds you that lets you know that he understands way more than he may tell you. You can’t explain why, but it feels good to be understood by Jimin. The others may have killed a few people, but Jimin actually enjoyed it at times. So to be understood by him feels comforting. He, who wants to be better, tells you that you, who did something so awful, can be forgiven too. The thought comforts you greatly.

And so you close your eyes, pulling him closer until you have his scent in your nose. Orange blossoms. Just like Taehyung told you all those months ago.

“Thank you”, you whisper.

“For what?” 

“The hug.”

“I’ll kill you if you tell anyone about this”, he murmurs.

“Don’t worry”, you let out a little scoff, “I’m not telling anyone. Idiot, just accept the hug.”

“Hah”, Jimin lets out a deep breath, “fuck, now you made it weird.”

He breaks away from you, putting distance between you and him while his eyes are looking to the side in embarrassment. He touches the side of his neck.

“You uhm”, he clears his throat, “you don’t stink.”

“Thank you?” you have to chuckle, “what a sweet compliment.”

“God, shut up”, he groans, “you’re so annoying.”

And with that he stands up, stomping off in an almost childish manner. You snicker to yourself. Poor boy, he is so obviously flustered. It is almost adorable.

You follow him.

“What?” he hisses, looking at you through the corners of his eyes.

“Nothing, I’m just walking.”

“Yeah? Do you have to walk next to me?”

“Oh come on, Jimin. Our titties just touched in a deep hug, stop being so stuck up.”

“Hah!” he rolls his eyes, “you’re stuck up”, he murmurs, making you grin.

Childish baby.

Soon you arrive by your door. He is avoiding eye contact at all cost.

“You uhm”, he says, reaches out to tap your shoulder only to pull back before he can touch you, “sleep tight.”

“You too.”

“Sure.”

Jimin turns and struts down the hallway.

“Jimin?”

He stops, looks over his shoulder.

“Yeah?”

“Thank you for listening to me. I really needed it tonight.”

“Sure, uhm..thanks too”, he says and turns.

You sneak back into your room afterwards, closing the door on the world. You won’t be plagued by another nightmare that night.

Jimin stops when he is in front of Taehyung’s room. He touches the doorknob, hesitating to turn it. In the end he does.

“___?” Taehyung’s voice is small and weak in sleep. 

“She’s not here.”

“Jimin? You are back? I, I thought you left”, Taehyung sits up and locks eyes with Jimin. Despite the darkness surrounding them, they can see each other clearly. The darkness never bothered them anyways.

“No, I’m back. I just left to think for a while.”

“I see. What are you doing here?” Taehyung asks, “are you here for sex? Please just give me a moment to find my strength.”

Jimin feels a twinge of guilt in his chest for he finally sees his own faults. He really treated Taehyung as nothing more than his willing sexdoll, didn’t he?

“I’m not here for sex. I was wondering if I could sleep here with you tonight”, he answers him, watching how Taehyung is struggling for words.

“S-sure”, he stutters out in the end, pulling the blanket to his chest in nervousness.

Jimin rids himself of his clothes until only his briefs are covering him. Taehyung looks at his bared body then at his face. There was unsure curiosity in his eyes, but also fear.

Jimin can see it so clearly now and it hurts him because he sees so much of himself in Taehyung’s eyes. Oh it hurts even more because while Namjoon never promised Jimin love, he did. He promised Taehyung love and yet Taehyung still looks at him with the same fear Jimin felt when Namjoon would undress in front of him.

“Open the blanket”, Jimin says, “you are not hogging all of it.”

Taehyung does so willingly but with nervousness in his scent.

Jimin lies down on the right side of Taehyung’s pillow and after a second of hesitation Taehyung places his head on its left side. He is gawking at him with his balled fists pressed to his chest.

Jimin reaches out and cups Taehyung’s cheek, aching when this makes the latter flinch.

“Can you remember the last time we fell asleep together naked?” he asks him.

“No”, Taehyung whispers.

“I can. It was after the hunt we went on and we shared a bath and drank wine and talked about the play you were planning on writing”, Jimin caresses Taehyung’s cheek, “and then we talked in bed for hours without bothering to get dressed. We talked until we fell asleep.”

“You remember?” Taehyung whispers.

Jimin nods his head, “the twenty ninth of December 1765, it snowed so much the next day and you insisted on staying in bed. It was your birthday that day and I gave you new paints. Remember?”

Taehyung opens his balled fists, placing his relaxed hands on the pillow between their faces. He nods his head with his lower lip trembling sadly.

“I think of those days a lot. Sometimes when Namjoon hurt me, I turned my consciousness off and lost myself in the memory of them. I didn’t mind the pain then”, Jimin confesses, “they’re the only detailed memories I have. Next to the one of our days on the farm.”

“Why are you telling me all of this?” Taehyung’s voice is barely audible.

“Because”, Jimin scoots closer, making Taehyung’s breath hitch, “I have never loved someone as deeply as I love you, Taehyung”, he says in a language the two vampires haven’t spoken in centuries. Jimin thought that he had already forgotten it, but he was wrong. It came so easy to him now that he can talk to Taehyung.

“Oh”, Taehyung gets out and sobs. He trembles as he sobs, contorting his face into a grimace of painful relief.

Jimin pulls him close, kissing his forehead before letting him hide his face in his chest.

“I love you too, Jimin”, Taehyung answers him in their mother language. He sobs afterwards. He sobs and sobs and sobs.

And Jimin pulls him as close as possible. He feels guilty for Taehyung should have never been pushed so low that confessions of love make him cry so miserably. But he also feels happy for he realises that hugging Taehyung feels like paradise.

He feels his own tears roll down his cheeks just seconds later. He realised that you were right. He is safe from Namjoon and he can finally be tender to Taehyung. He felt like crying in relief afterwards and so he did and Taehyung kissed him and held him and cried with him until they fell asleep in each others’ arms.

Jimin has no trouble falling asleep. He holds Taehyung and Taehyung holds him and all those demons lurking in the shadows can’t hurt him anymore.

[chevelleneech]

Armys would be so much better off if they stopped basing their decisions on everything Twitter accounts with more followers than them tell them to.

Y’all need to start thinking for yourselves. Ingesting new information as it presents itself, on your own first, before branching out for other opinions. And when you hear other opinions and learn new facts, use them to help organize your opinions. Don’t allow them to become your opinion.

Because there is no reason shoddy articles from SK are a threat to how any of us view the group. These outlets are preying on solo stans and toxic kpop consumers to hopefully split BTS apart, but if you use your own common sense and do your own research, none of this shit matters.

Yoongi is not a reckless alcoholic just because he fell off a scooter. Tae doesn’t secretly support MHJ just because he posted his own album anniversary. Namjoon is not avoiding work or whatever bullshit they’re trying to craft about him, for visiting a cafe celebrating his birthday. Jungkook is not supporting MHJ by stating he doesn’t think NewJeans are guilty too.

It’s okay to disagree with the members on things, I do, but fearing people will lose faith in them or whatever, because k media continues to have a hate boner for them and continues to write shit articles? That’s your own problem. We’ve known for years their industry hates their success and would do something to try and paint them as bad people once they no longer had time or space to speak up, and that’s exactly what’s happening.

So my advice is… think for yourselves. Stop pretending the media blackout is working, because it’s not. You can’t remain informed that way, because one biased person relaying the information is not reliable. As well, Army not engaging doesn’t mean other people aren’t, and are either knowingly or unintentionally spreading misinformation. Therefore, thinking for yourselves is the safest and most sensible thing to do.

Learn the information, process it, decide what you want to do with or about it. Stop letting other people convince you of stuff you haven’t concluded yourself or even partially thought about.