#to him being fuck yeah I want to win with redbull again

[rickybaby]

(Do not) drive to survive - Why Daniel Ricciardo’s huge risk not to race in F1 this year is paying off

Via Esquire ME

[racew1nn3rs]

─ 𝘴𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘦 𝘪𝘷. (𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘨𝘶𝘦𝘴) 🐅

⤷ summary: spain and canada. lando's rizz is negative, mission is failed. plus, mclaren pr is about to fuck shit up 🗣️

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liked by ynusername, zbrownceo, and 42,908 others

mclaren spain you were forgettable at best 😔 on to the next one

18,980 others

user1 y/n don't insult your team on the team account challenge

mclaren is it really an insult if it's true

user2 we got a lando photo but at what cost

user3 lando fans can never win here

mclaren why you would ever choose to be a lando fan to begin with is beyond me

user2 you're so right queen i'm sorry

landonorris DON'T APOLOGIZE WTF

user2 fuck both of y'all honestly

user4 at least mclaren fans can always count on content, even if we can't expect results 😭

user5 lando and y/n in their friendship era, how the fuck did we get here

landonorris you're posting me now? oh you want me so bad 🥴

mclaren sending this to hr immediately

ynusername YOU'RE FIREEEDDDDDDD

user6 damn she logged into both accounts just to make sure he heard her ass 💀 double homicide

user7 oscar fans i can't even tell if we won or lost

user8 we didn't get a face pic but... we didn't get whatever the fuck the 3rd slide is

landonorris guys pLEASE

landonorris i won't post it she says... it's just for me she says

user9 LMAOOOO AND YOU BELIEVED HER???? 🤣 🫵

landonorris going dark, no one call me

user9 was anyone going to anyways 💀

user10 LET HIM GET UPPPP

oscarpiastri i'll pay you 20 dollars if you don't ever do this to me

mclaren 🤝

mclaren i mean you were never the target but now you will be if i don't get my money!!!!

oscarpiastri oh ok

lilyzneimer i have pictures you can you use if you need bb <3

oscarpiastri WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON

zbrownceo Very funny Y/n! Keep up the good work 👍

mclaren Thanks boss! (:

landonorris ZAK WHY

user11 zak is so supportive now, wait until he sees her comments 💀

zbrownceo I have seen her comments! Very funny! 👍

user11 blink twice zak, we can help you

maxverstappen1 This is the highlight of my week, thank you Y/n!

mclaren hey max verstappen of redbull racing! not sure if you heard but you did win the grand prix this weekend

maxverstappen1 No i know, this is just definitely better.

ynusername where's my photo credits 🫵

mclaren my bad bbg 😍

user12 nurse she got out again

oscarpiastri we'll win next time!!

mclaren who told you that 🤨

oscarpiastri the voices in my head

logansargeant you hold on bro, we'll find your meds soon

user13 i think moto moto likes you ahh image

user14 i need to shrink him and put him in my pocket and keep him there

user15 which one?

user14 lando

landonorris nuh uh, pick again

maxfewtrell you can't post pictures without consent mate

mclaren i didn't??

landonorris i didn't consent.

mclaren who are you gonna believe max? me? or the solid concrete evidence in front of you

user16 he looks like he can do some crazy tricks on a trampoline

landonorris this is the only comment about myself that hasnt made me viscerally angry

oscarpiastri unfortunately i feel the opposite

user17 lany/n at it again

user18 literally what the fuck do you mean

user17 if you dont get it, i can't explain it to you

user18 okay cryptic ass, fuck you 🙄

user19 they're in love guys, just wait and see

user20 yall just love saying stupid shit on this page huh

user19 i hate getting accused of some shit i actually do 😡 like yeah i do love that but who told you

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user20 op be so fr right now

user21 everytime one of these illiterate f1 drivers pulls one of the hottest women on earth a fairty dies

user21 *fairy

user22 fairty

user21 you shut the fuck up 🫵

user23 people when coworkers are seen together at their place of work

user24 do you hug your coworkers and follow them like a lost puppy when you could be on a break

user23 wtf no

user24 EXACTLY MF, THIS IS NOT COWORKERS BEING COWORKERS

user25 history will say they were just colleagues 😔

opeightywon this shit is a national tragedy

user26 every time i see a post like this i think about the fact that she has probably seen this and i shiver

user27 honestly praying on their downfall

opeightywon wtf

user28 lando fans be normal challenge

user27 idgaf about that white man, she's just too hot for him 😕

opeightywon oh yeah real

user29 i need another youtube video where they stare at each other longingly again asap or i fear i may start having withdrawal symptoms

user30 another hot girl lost to an average white man's swagless looks and cringe fail personality i feel sick

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liked by landonorris, lilyzneimer, and 44,786 others

mclaren not our best results in canada but we improved i guess 🙄 but on a much better, more exciting note: NEW MCLAREN YOUTUBE CHALLENGE OUT GO GO GO GO

17,998 comments

user31 my crops are watered, my skin is clear, my funds are tripled

mclaren all me 😮‍💨

user32 "yay challenge video" we all cry in unison

user33 OSCAR FANS IS IT REAL??? HAS IT COME TRUE??? IS THAT A FACE PIC I SEE

user34 and it's good quality too 🤩 what did we do to deserve this

mclaren you don't, but oscar bought me coffee all weekend

oscarpiastri yes i bribed her, i feel no shame

user35 lando's back in the dog house bro, he's back to no face pics

user36 but look at his beautiful brown eyes

mclaren babe they're greenish blue with the TINIEST bit of brown 💀

user37 how long you gotta stare at a man's eyes to know the exact paint blend 🫵

user38 DOWN HORRENDOUSSSSSS

lilyzneimer insert comical heart eyes here

mclaren flirting with your man 🤢 on MY cellular device

lilyzneimer my bad bb, he doesn't mean anything to me anyways 🥴

oscarpiastri ok what the fuck

danielricciardo DROP THE CAMERA SETTINGS AND MY LIFE IS YOURS

mclaren check dms 🤲

danielricciardo thanks love you're the best

landonorris LOVE??? LMAOOOO

user39 bro is losing the dgaf war MISERABLY

user40 the way lando is staring at her the whole time she's behind the camera 😫 oh he's not even down bad, bro's down under

landonorris can i get the camera settings

mclaren has anyone ever told you how good you are at photography?? i'm not saying that, i'm just asking 😀

landonorris oKAY fuck you.

user41 the way she doesn't even pretend to care about the results

landonorris i know 🙄

mclaren i know p13 is nawttt talking back to me right now

user41 OHHH SHE ATE YOU UP HUH

landonorris y'all are some fake ass fans fr

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8:57 PM.

Y/n stared at the flashing numbers on the digital clock in the boardroom and huffed quietly. The table in front of her was covered in a mix of shredded mozzarella cheese and vibrant, red pizza sauce. Flour with evidence of handprints and bits of pizza dough decorated the wood and the woman internally sighed at the thought of clean up. Eventually she would have to get back to work.

Lando was on his phone across the table from her, and she fought the urge to stare at him. Oscar had left a while ago, having an earlier flight than them out of Canada. Lando and her had made the executive decision to stay and finish the pizza the two men had made during the "not my hands" YouTube challenge. It was messy, and didn't fully resemble a proper pizza, but it tasted good enough if not a little bit burnt. The two had been sitting in a comfortable silence for the time being while they ate.

In the time Y/n had gotten to know the British man, both on and off the track, she found herself warming up to him considerably. He was kinder than she gave him credit for at the beginning of the season, and far funnier. She could see now that more often than not he spoke without thinking or having any consideration, and maybe he was more than a little bit arrogant, but he also felt things deeply and cared passionately.

Before she could think about what she was doing, Lando's eyes met hers and he smirked. Y/n's face burned but she rolled her eyes at him and took another bite of their burnt pizza. Her ears caught the sound of him placing his phone on the table, and when she looked up again he was leaning his body across the table and toward her instead.

"What are you staring at? Hm?" He teased and she scoffed.

"You," she started and took another bite of her pizza, "have pizza sauce all over your face, you idiot. And I'm just thinking, not sure if you're familiar with the concept." He grabbed a napkin quickly and began wiping rapidly at his chin and mouth, and even his nose. She couldn't help but laugh loudly. There was nothing on his face. He was perfect actually. Unfortunately.

"Did I get it? Why didn't you tell me sooner, traitor!" She doubled over but nodded anyways.

"What are you thinking about?" he questioned as he settled back down.

"Just the season, you and Oscar," she muttered.

"Me? Thinking of little ol' me when I'm right here in front of you," she rolled her eyes with a groan.

"You have selective hearing Lando," he laughed and nodded.

"Well what have you thought about it? The season I mean. And myself of course, don't care much what you think about Osc," he leaned on his hand and stared at her intently. Y/n couldn't help that being stared at by Lando felt a little bit like being ocean, being pulled and pushed by the moon's gravity. Her brain didn't work properly around him.

Or maybe I'm just really dramatic and he's just hot, she thought miserably, Probably the latter.

"I just think maybe you and me got off on the wrong foot," she said as she fumbled with the lid of her water bottle, "and I think that maybe I enjoy this job a lot more than I thought I would." The comments seemed to sober Lando's mood up slightly.

Maybe I shouldn't have been truthful. Maybe it shouldn't have been that serious.

"What did you think of me?" He asked quietly. "When you met me I mean."

"Do you want me to be honest?" He looked at her quizzically.

"Of course I want you to be honest Y/n, or I wouldn't have asked."

"I thought you were kind of an asshole," she whispered and he laughed.

"So the beef was real for you," he smiled slightly and she let her face fall gently into her hands.

"Yeah," she breathed out a laugh, "yeah maybe a little."

"Doesn't seem like a little," he goaded and she shot him a glare.

"Okay Lord Lando, maybe more than a little," he pointed at her triumphantly.

"AHA! So it was the instagram comment. I thought you knew I was kidding," A loud groan filled the room as she smacked her head on the table. Lando's giggling could probably be heard down the hall but Y/n found she didn't care all that much anymore.

"It wasn't just the instagram comment," she defended weakly. There was a brief silence as Lando stared into space and shook his head.

"Wow... I can't believe you were actually mad at me and I just didn't know."

"It wasn't that big of a deal I guess, I just felt like you didn't really take me seriously."

"Well I mean you're not a very serious person," Y/n's heart fell to her stomach.

"What?" She asked, staring at him. She couldn't have heard him right.

"Well it's just that you're not very serious are you? Like since I met you, it's never felt like you were a serious sort of person." He added as if that was some sort of defense.

As if that isn't more hurtful.

"You're not like Zak or Andrea, or really anyone else here you know? You're just you, you're different. It was hard to be serious with you here because that's just who you are." He continued.

God just shut up, please for the love of God just shut up.

"This is my place of work Lando," she muttered bitterly. "I mean do you hear yourself." His eyes widened and he put his hands out placatingly. Like she was some sort of rabid animal he needed to calm down.

"No no no," he muttered quickly and stood up to round the table, "that's not what I meant Y/n, you know that."

"Stop Lando, just stop," she said as she began to clear off the table.

Why did she expect him to be different. What made her think he could've changed.

"You made it perfectly clear what you mean. What you think of me and of my work, my career" she spit out, swiping everything on the table into the trash. They hadn't finished eating the pizza and now it was in the bin, but Lando didn't deserve to eat the pizza she helped him make. He didn't deserve to be here at all. He wasn't her friend, he was her coworker and nothing else. It was better she accept that now.

"You misunderstood what I said," he grabbed her arm to stop her from cleaning and she whipped it out of his grasp.

"Stop Lando," she said raising her voice. She knew her eyes were teary but she didn't care. She knew her face was red with embarrassment and her hands were shaking with the force of her humiliation but she didn't care. Lando Norris could go fuck himself.

He looked at her in shock and winced as he saw her face. She steeled herself. She had never cried over a man before, why would she do it now.

"You need to leave, you have a flight in the morning," she said emotionlessly. "And I have to clean so I can go home." He tried to speak and she put her hand up, stepping away from him.

"Get out please, you're in my way," she said and his brows scrunched. He was angry? Good, so was she.

"I'm in your way?" He asked incredulously, as if she didn't have any reason to be upset. "You're not even going to hear me out?" He scoffed.

"No Lando, I don't have time for this. I have a job to do and you're in my way," she said emphasizing the words as if speaking to a child. His face fell. He looked angry.

"Whatever Y/n. What fucking ever," he muttered, grabbing his bag and storming out. Y/n waited. Footsteps in the hallways continued until a far off door slammed.

Y/n wilted like an unwatered plant as tears began to fall.

So much for friends.

She knew deep down she was hurt about much more than just friendship.

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this is the second to last chapter of part one! i hope you enjoy! please feel free to comment and send requests, i'm excited to hear your thoughts <3

-

𝙩𝙖𝙜 𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩

@lemon-lav @slutforpopculture @m4rt10ne @urfavsgf @sadsierra2 @96jnie @sltwins @poppyflower-22 @alliumiae @livelovesports @liberty-barnes @the-holy-trinity-l @iliwyss @awritingtree @redpool @elliotts1one @velentine @chaoticmessneutralplease @5sospenguinqueen @charizznorizz @2pagenumb @mxdi0 @cwiphswmwasohmm @tremendousstarlighttragedy @lnspipedrm @itseightbeats @tinycoffeeroom @woozarts @personwhoisther @a-beaverhausen @love-simon @annabellelee @ravisinghs-wife @chezmardybum @greantii @weekendlusting @monserelates @sapphiccloud @halleest @deamus-liv @gigigreens @morenofilm @laneyspaulding19 @lanireadss @dear-fifi @moldyshorts1997 @oliviarodrigostan13 @eugene-emt-roe @ilivbullyingjeongin @im-a-ghost666

[astonmartinii]

max verstappen x college!reader | instagram au

pairing: max verstappen x partygirl!reader

college party girl reader and red bull golden boy

yourusername

yourusername: i don’t remember when the tailgate finished or when the game ended but @redbull sponsorship when?

liked by y/friendsname, maxverstappen1 and 1,032 others

y/friendsname: where were these even taken?

yourusername: i honestly don’t know

y/friendsname: and where the fuck did you get the lighter?

yourusername: i don’t think we want to know

maxieverstappen: max liked? who is she?

33dutchlion: she’s a student at umiami from what i can find

maxverstappen1

maxverstappen1: thank you miami! big, big win. great to see so many out here, time to celebrate before the next race

liked by yourusername, redbullracing and 345,981 others

verstappenthelion: unbelievable drive max!

lestappentruther: post race max hits so different in miami

33maxie1: are we gonna get another max party pic?

redbullgirl33: that girl liked his post. there’s defo something going on

16leclerc: girl he’s a world famous athlete, it’s not wild to think she might just know of him?  

yourusername

yourusername: here’s to being able to talk our way into anywhere xx

liked by y/friendsname, maxverstappen1 and 1,127 others

y/friendsname: i’m so glad you have no fear when drunk

yourusername: my best quality i fear

55sainz: max liked again, maybe they are onto something

redbulldutchie: that does look like the restaurant where red bull are celebrating

user567: bro it’s a super popular spot in miami i doubt she’s there just because he is

maxverstappen1

maxverstappen1: miami you did not disappoint

liked by danielricciardo, yourusername and 652,198 others

danielricciardo: i thought i was your karaoke buddy :( not cool man

maxverstappen1: sorry not sorry

enchantecowboy: max out here breaking all of the hearts tonight

3maxverstappen3: you guys can all me delusional but thats defo the umiami party girl

23albono: you are insane

ricciardo3: wait, let them cook

yourusername

yourusername: two peas in a pod

liked by maxverstappen1, danielricciardo and 2,609 others

y/friendsname: you’re a liability, but you’re MY liability

maxverstappen1: doubt

maxfan33: that’s defo outside of jimmyz - she’s in monaco???

charleslec16: he’s not even being subtle anymore

33maxsangel: kinda sad cause she’s defo just with him for the money, there’s no way she’s gonna graduate

verstappenisking: she’s so bad for his image :(

f1updates

f1updates: max verstappen spotted with yourusername in monaco after being spotted together in miami. the umiami student is known for her partying - will red bull be happy about this potential couple?

yourusername: i hope they sponsor me

33maxworldchamp: she’s kinda hilarious

verstappenwdc2022: yeah i hope they are together she seems so fun

redbullfan133: he needs to focus on racing

checostan: she’s in monaco?? she’s never gonna graduate lmao

yourusername

yourusername: what’s the point of being known for partying if you can’t throw the bash of the century, you’re welcome maxy.

liked by maxverstappen1, y/friendsname and 7,082 others

comments turned off

maxverstappen1

maxverstappen1: at least one of us finished our education - proud of you my love!!

tagged: yourusername

liked by yourusername, redbullracing and 721,893 others

yourusername: aww maxy i’m blushing... but for real i love you and thank you for putting up with me

maxverstappen1: wouldn’t change it for the world, though you do need to tell brad that all the junk food in the fridge is for your hangovers and not me

landonorris: don’t lie verstappen

yourusername: what he said

f1fan33: they’re actually so cute i can’t

redbullracing: welcome to the family y/n!

yourusername: so about that sponsorship...

yourusername

yourusername: all those who called me an alcoholic... i graduated and secured the red bull man and that sponsorship

tagged: maxverstappen1, umiami and redbullracing

liked by: maxverstappen1, redbullracing and 12,982 others

redbullracing: we’re glad to have you!

y/friendsname: about time, she probably funded half the car with her drinking habits

maxverstappen1: proud of you

danielricciardo: sap

maxducthking: the way she actually proved everyone wrong and graduated... girlboss

[adimouze]

https://x.com/F1/status/1852030580440825995

Not sure if you saw this, but after Mexico and because it was against Perez, there were a lot of people on his side.

But the comments here, the tide is changing.

Putting my DR bias lens aside, this attitude won't get him the redbull seat UNTIL Max leaves. I feel like he's trying to show people he's just like Max when Max started, but right now, Red Bull doesn't need two Max's. They have Max, and they need someone who will help him.

Even with Franco, I do not think it's wise to put a driver who is hungry to build a career besides Max. Daniel would have been the ideal choice, but they burnt that bridge, and they're going to end up killing the career of whichever young driver drives that second seat.

i hope so because i refuse to check the twitter comments. because the ones supporting him are so brain dead omg they're like "this is a confident man!!" or "yeah f1 is not to make friends!"

i dont think red bull has been smart all year. i dont think they plan on being smart now. they'll put lawson in and then be like pikachu surprised face when he inevitably clashes with max. and i dont think max would stay in red bull if they allow lawson to fuck up his races. i think they're going down the alex/pierre route again, because as much as i loathe to admit it they had something stable with checo but now they don't. i know a lot of people say that daniel's f2-f3's weren't earth shattering either, but i got the sense the man realized what worked (head down, accept criticism, be accountable, be nice, race hard but race clean) and he worked hard to ensure he would have a 13 year career. there's a reason why the drivers go on so many padel dates -- you need friends in this. you need people in your corner. lawson's just antagonising colleagues on his FIRST DAY. like baby it's nearly over. everyone's tired. just keep quiet and you'll be done. no wonder george didnt want to add him in the group chat last year. he's doing too much.

i think the one winning rn is franco. if he gets into the VCARB he's safe for a year and gets to hone his craft. sucks for yuki, but if liam flops out franco gets the seat should he be in VCARB. im firmly max-isnt-long-for-Red-Bull team, so if lawson doesnt flop max eventually leaves and franco gets the seat. win win.

liam is going to get a trial by fire next year. i dont think red bull has a winning car next year either. so while max is a genius, lawson might be in for a rough ride.

[milflewis]

niamh my love tell me about your apparent genius

ok imma just copy paste the whole thing in here from the gc bc i’m way too high to type it out again n make it neater. it’s based off a webbonso prompt someone sent me that i haven’t filled out yet

ok. so. webbonso. but mark keeps running away every time their dicks are out….🤧🤧 but not bc of what you think !! he’s ok with the gay thing. kinda. maybe. with the lights low and socks on. but he thinks nando is a top and so is he……how can they be together…….stars not aligning for them…..where do they stick it if not in each other……. but mark is being stupid bc fernando wants that horse cock and he wants it now !!!!! but bc mark keeps running away from him he thinks mark doesn’t want him. boom. miscommunication trope.

mark keeps kissing nando. overcome w emotion for this tiny angry person !!!! with lots of hair n teeth. and nando is. into it. pushing at mark so mark will press him into a wall of a. cough. totally random redbull motorhome.

grabs mark’s dick when they hear someone that could maybe sound like seb giggling w someone who could maybe. ugh. sound like lewis. and. oh. wow . wowwww

that’s like. big 😵‍💫😵‍💫

and listen. ok. the ferrari car is shit. nando isn’t winning. seb is being a cunt on the podium. lewis is being a dick on AND off the podium. but here. in this. nando can win.

and if smth in his chest gets all warm and fuzzy when mark pulls away. hands on his hips. fingers digging in. resting his cheek against fernando’s. breath hot. then. whatver. that works too.

so nando has a new mission. get mark webber to fuck him. preferably where seb will overhear them and weep. but that’s optional !!! nando is flexible !!!! he adapts. a hickey on his neck will do. low enough his fireproofs will cover but nando could bend down in front of seb. collar slipping…..oops !!

but. but !!!! mark keeps like. running away??? and nando knows he wants it. he can FEEL how much mark wants it and mark is the one who initiates like half the making outs so. what. is. the. fucking. problem

maybe he cries to jenson about it where lewis overhears and laughs for twnety minutes

mark is being all stoic and man pain. oh why can’t i be a girl…..why can’t HE be a girl……then we could be together……and jenson is fully prepared to deal w his internalised homophobia and be all gentle about how two guys can love each other and that’s ok mark !! that’s alright !!!! (he’s had a lot of practise with lewis) and mark just comes out with a banger of “but guys can’t fuck 😔😔 it’s scientifically impossible. no i know we have a hole too jenson but it’s like the penguins and their wings….it doesn’t work……” single dean winchester tear falling down his cheek

jenson is like. wot. but WE fucked

mark: but you had long hair so i could pretend you were a girl and then our bodies changed. like frogs

jenson: ………have u been talking to sebastian

mark: yeah. he knows lots about this did u know that

anyway !!!! jenson manages to convince mark that this is NOT how bodies work and guys can fuck other guys and they should !!! pls pls fuck fernando mark so he will stop talking to me about it i am begging you —

and mark fucks nando with his monster cock and nando gets his hickey (seb doesn’t cry bc mark keeps smiling at fernando. all soft mouth and eyes. and that’s good enough for him) and they live happily ever after.

the end.

[dear-ao3]

alright several of you have asked so we have an update on F1 Silly Season 2024. ill do this to the best of my ability, feel free to peer review me.

update: february 1, 2024

several things have happened:

number one, gunther steiner: at the beginning of january, gunther steiner, team principal of haas (the shit team) was more or less fired by gene haas, the team owner. not really confirmed exactly Why but it seems like gene was pissed that gunther was trying to get the team more money and blamed the failing of the car on gunther for the last several seasons. gunther was kind of the whole identity of haas and the paddock meme and funny guy (after danny rics) so now they're kind of just There. he was replaced by ayao komatsu, who had already been working at haas as the trackside engineering director (so he was already working on the cars). unclear if this will really change anything about the cars themselves especially because haas basically said that they didnt have enough time to develop their car this year so it'll probably be bad again.

number two, charles leclerc: he was the first driver to sign a new contract in mid january. he re-signed with ferrari, literally no surprise there. it was not announced how long his contract with ferrari is but we know its multi-year. like i said originally, he will likely not leave this team.

number three, lando norris: also not surprising, but lando norris re-signed a contract extension with mclaren. what was surprising was that his current contract is not up in 2024, hes officially signed with the team until 2025. so, slightly odd that he would sign an extension with them now. when he was asked about it he said something along the lines of "its not something i wanted to have to worry about in the future" and theres also the whole bit of him basically growing up at the team because hes been associated with them more or less for several years now. again, we dont know how long his extension is for, but we do know that mclaren will at least have the same lineup (norris and piastri) through 2026. this puts them in a very good position because well they're kind of the only team with confirmed drivers at this point.

number 4, sir lewis hamilton: in the absolute biggest surprise career move of the century, even bigger than when danny rics left redbull to go to renault in 2019, sir lewis hamilton signed a contract with ferrari. this is surprising for a great many reasons:

hes mercedes's golden boy. their guy. hes won them 6 drivers championships. hes been there for ten years. we all thought that he would stay in a merc

his contract was not up in 2024, it was up in 2025

charles leclerc is the other confirmed ferrari driver. charles is ferrari's golden boy. they call him il presedentio. its been confirmed by ferrari that he is the priority. he wants to win in a ferrari. hes been their #1 driver for a few years now. theres no way in hell hes going to tolerate being bumped to secondary driver at his own damn team

lewis hamilton is a 7 time world champion. he wants to win his 8th one (he should have already but thats a different story). he will not tolerate being the #2 driver when hes been the merc #1 driver for so many years.

basically this is going to be worse than the brocades civil war. that ended with nico rosberg retiring.

toto wolff, mercedes team principal, re-signed as the mercedes team principal earlier and was like "yeah i want to win another championship with lewis" can i get an L in the chat

ferrari has kind of been all over the place. the pit stops, the strategy, everything. charles and carlos basically did their own strategies towards the end. mercedes might have gone downhill but they at least have had their shit slightly together. lewis is either going to make ferrari better or he is going to have his spirit broken

again, NO ONE SAW THIS COMING

we dont know how long his contract is, but its multi year (likely 2)

the mclaren boys are all going ham on twitter about this and it’s fucking hilarious.

number 5, carlos sainz: lewis signing at ferrari has knocked carlos sainz out of a seat for 2025. we knew that his contract negotiations with ferrari weren't going well, but we still had some hope. no one knows where he will end up. audi is interested in him, but they wont be an official team until 2026 so he could either sign with another team for a year, sign with stake f1 team kick sauber (which will turn into audi) or be a reserve driver. any way you look at it, he seems to be at the end of his career now after getting booted from ferrari (unless mercedes signs him but thats unlikely)

number 6, the mercedes seat: so now theres an open seat at mercedes. this is notable because there wasnt supposed to be an open mercedes seat until At Least Next Year and we still have 13 drivers who need to renew or sign new contracts, plus all the rookies and reserve drivers who want into f1. so mercedes have their fair pick of drivers. it could be alex albon, who is at williams and did a damn good job in a bad car last year. plus, williams has a mercedes engine so he is already somewhat associated with the team. he was favored to replace carlos at ferrari but that’s clearly not happening anymore. could be carlos. could be anyone. my personal favorite is fernando alonso because he would make totos life hell. so basically. silly season just got sillier. this does explain tho why lando re-signed with mclaren a year early, because he was probably approached by mercedes about driving there.

thats all for now. the car launches start tomorrow and i can assure you its only going to get sillier from here.

Sorry i tried to scroll past but, i know nothing about f1 other than max verstappen is fast, my dad doesnt like lewis hamilton, fast car goes in a loop and sometimes expodes. Could you give me a crash course in f1 drama? Im very intrigued. Whats the tea as it were?

a terribly loaded question, but i will do my best. i’ve talked about some of the drama before like the red bull second seat and the chronicles of haas but allow me to briefly try my hand at explaining the nightmare that is the upcoming silly season

under the cut we go

silly season is when the drivers go through contract renewals, extensions and switches. usually it’s confined to the first half of the season (march-july) but it has been known to extend all the way to the last race of the season and they like to switch people around at random sometimes. driver contracts are complex, there’s a lot of money involved and basically You Are The Face Of The Team so if you have a shit season then you make the team look bad. but at the same time you could have a shit season because you have a shit car. it’s sticky stuff.

so. there are only twenty seats in formula 1. 10 teams. each team gets two drivers. (there’s also reserve drivers but we’re not going to get into that). who ends up with a contract is largely up to the teams, they can pull the contract out from under people they can also cut you mid season. they’ve done it before.

of the 20 drivers on the grid, 14 of them have contracts expiring at the end of the year. yes. 14. you see how this could get complicated.

so let’s meet the teams.

red bull racing. they came first this year (and last year) in the championship. like aggressively first. like they won the championship by over 350 points. they are definitely the team to beat. but if you end up with a seat at red bull, you do have to deal with max verstappen being your teammate and he won all but three of the races last year. he’s the golden boy. red bull are also notoriously silly when it comes to contracts and famously swap people mid season who aren’t performing.

mercedes. merc is home to 7 time world champion lewis hamilton and they have won the championship a great many times, though not since 2021. they are kind of in their flop arc and their car the last 2 years has been pretty garbage, but they have still made it work because they were able to come in second last year.

ferrari. god help the poor little meow meows with a ferrari contract. ferrari is a notoriously great team and they’re trying to get back to the top again but their strategy every single time has fallen short. to the point where their drivers are the ones doing the strategy in their cars while driving. they came in third last year and have been decently consistent at getting first in qualifying and then getting beat by max verstappen on race day.

mclaren. they’ve definitely worked their way up over recent years. they ended fourth last year and have had some championship wins before but not nearly as many as say merc and ferrari. their team ceo (owner? director?) is a little interesting and their car started out a pile of flaming hot garbage at the beginning of the year but they did manage to get their shit together.

aston martin. they are owned by canadian billionaire lawrence stroll, father of lance stroll (one of the drivers for the team). they’ve undergone several name changes over the recent years (force india, racing point, etc). they positively slayed at the start of the season and then one day they sucked. they finished fifth in the championship.

alpine. the frenchest french team. they’re (i think?) still partially owned by the french government. both of their drivers are french. (their drivers also hate eachother but we’ll get to that. just know they’re in the middle of a modern french civil war). they had the opportunity to have a good rookie driver (oscar piastri) this past year but in a thrilling twitter battle, he publically flamed the shit out of them and went to mclaren instead (and slayed). they're usually solidly middle of the pack. they ended sixth in the championship.

williams. williams has been one of the back of the grid teams for the last many years but they have finally started to get their shit together and don’t quite suck as much as they used to. all of the points this year were scored by only one driver though (except one but we’ll get there). they came in seventh.

alpha tauri. they are the sister team of red bull. so technically redbull owns both teams (meaning they can swap drivers between teams. they like doing this.) they’ve just kind of been There for awhile but they did slay towards the end of the season when one of their drivers led the race for several laps. basically tho, this team is the gateway to redbull. they came in eighth.

alpha romeo. recently renamed to stake f1 team (but sometimes they are going to be called kick sauber. this is a whole other drama post and i’m not getting into it). they’re also just kind of there. generally unproblematic. seems that really great drivers who get ixed out of a contract for a younger driver end up here or young drivers who are in their early years are here before they go to a better team. they ended ninth this year.

haas. oh haas. goofy team. they suck. point blank they suck. they keep loosing sponsors because they suck, they don’t win ever (one time they came first in qualifying last year). they cursed themselves in australia in 2018 by not tightening their tires and its been downhill ever since. they came 10th. their team principle got let go (fired?) who’s to say today.

so those are the teams. it is important to note that:

-there is a cost cap. each team is allowed to spend no more than 135m per year.

-not all cars are equal. some things are standard. they all undergo the same testing. but the cars are all very different. so you can be a good driver but stuck in a shitty car. which makes it impressive if you are doing well in a shitty car.

let’s meet our drivers!!!

starting with the guys who’s contract is not ending in 2024:

max verstappen. 3 time world champion. 26 years old. general beast on the track. he dominated the whole season. he’s currently racing for red bull and has a contract with them through 2028.

lewis hamilton. 7 time world champion. 39 years old. he drives for mercedes. he will not leave mercedes until he retires. he really really wants to win an 8th world championship and is willing to stick it out a few more years as long as merc still believes in him. his contract expires in 2025.

george russell. the other merc driver. 26 years old. hes aggressively british and says thinks like blimey unironically. walking meme. got his merc seat in 2022 right when they entered their flop arc by getting his tractor of a williams to finish second in qualifying in the middle of a rainstorm. his contract expires in 2025.

lando norris. mclaren driver. 24 years old. he has notably never won a race in his five years of formula one (mostly because right when his car finally was good enough max verstappen was 20 seconds ahead of anyone) but he is regarded as Very Good. he has only ever driven for mclaren. and even though there is another year left on his contract there is mass speculation that he will not renew his contract with mclaren after it expires and he may move up to one of the top teams (red bull, merc, ferrari) (tho i think he doesnt hate himself quite enough to go to ferrari). his contract expires in 2025.

oscar piastri. the other mclaren driver. 22 years old. this was his rookie season and he positively slayed. like people compared his rookie season to lewis hamiltons rookie season. he also had the positively funniest start to his rookie year because alpine announced that he would be driving for them (he had been their reserve driver and in the alpine academy) and he posted a tweet that basically said yeah thats false i never singed anything with you and im going to race with mclaren instead (he dodged a bullet) and then alpine tried and failed to sue him for $4m USD. he signed a contract extension with mclaren this year and his contract expires in 2026.

lance stroll. aston martin driver and son of the aston martin owner. hes doing ok, tho there was conspiracy that he wanted to quit and have a tennis career awhile ago. but basically since his dad owns the team it seems that hes guaranteed a seat for as long as he wants one.

so now. moving onto the good shit. the people who have contracts expiring in 2024. hold onto your hats people.

charles leclerc. (everyones favorite slutty little soup can). 26 years old. he is currently at ferrari and he has been since 2019. notably, he was given the longest contract in the history of ferrari after a stellar rookie season at sauber (renamed to alpha romeo, renamed to stake f1) where he got the tractor of a car consistently into the points. having the longest contract in the history of ferrari was a flex at the time, but now its likely how he will introduce himself at therapy sessions. ferrari have fucked this man left right and center up the ass with a plastic lunchroom spork. hes talented, he can drive, and he can drive well. but the strategy that ferrari has absolutely sucks. either something is wrong with the car (see him blowing out his gear box on the formation lap in monaco, his car completely crapping out and spinning into the barrier in brazil before the race even started) or they fuck up his pit stops or put him on the wrong tires and honestly its just frustrating. but will he leave??? likely not. you'd have to pry ferrari out of his cold dead hands and at this rate that might be where this is headed though there has been some minor speculation of him going to another team like merc or red bull, but merc doesnt have any open seats and red bull is a whole other dumpster fire of drama. ferrari are going to have to pay him a boatload of money to make him stay.

carlos sainz. the smooth operator. 29 years old. ferrari driver. previously carlos was at toro rosso (renamed to alpha tauri), renault (renamed to alpine), and mclaren before signing with ferrari. he has been at ferrari since 2021 and has voiced that he would like to stay with them for however long he can. there is speculation that lando might replace him at ferrari (but landos contract is not up until 2025) and there is also some speculation that alex albon might replace him. while charles is clearly the golden boy at ferrari, carlos is slightly slower but also definitely consistent. he was THE ONLY non red bull driver to win a race this past year, in Singapore after max verstappedn was knocked out of qualifying by alpha tauri reserve driver liam lawson (more on him later) and because he basically came up with his own strategy in the car while he was driving.

sergio perez. aka checo. red bull driver. 33 years old. and oh boy here's where we open the can of worms. checo was previously at racing point (renamed aston martin) and it was very near the end of the 2020 (?) season and he was out of a contract. he had a bonkers race where he was knocked to the back of the grid and then overtook everyone and somehow ended up winning (there is more to that story but just trust me) and christian horner, red bull team principle, mr ginger spice and definite disney villain called him and said congrats sir you have a seat at red bull! well. fast forward. hes been causing problems. problems as in crashing a lot, generally not doing great and pissing the crap out of red bull. it is basically guaranteed at this point that he will not be getting a contract extension. there was actually talk this year of him losing his seat mid season to one of the alpha tauri drivers, because remember, red bull owns both teams and they can switch them whenever they want to (and they have!) but ultimately this did not happen. even though checo has a seat at red bull until the end of 2024, its mass speculated that he is going to get switched with an alpha tauri driver, probably daniel ricciardo (more on him shortly) mid season because there is a speculated clause in daniels contract that says that if checo isn't performing well in the first few races daniel is getting his seat.

daniel ricciardo. 34 years old. alpha tauri driver. man oh man what a guy. outside of being the prankster of the paddock, he has one of the most batshit careers of anyone currently on the grid. he started out at red bull and was showing real talent and skill and was on track to win things (and was!) and was there until the end of 2018 when max verstappen (his teammate) started getting preferential treatment and also red bull started having a lot of problems with their engines (which were being outsourced from Renault (now alpine) and another team on the grid) and well very very long story short he made the surprise move of the century and decided to sign with Renault (which makes no sense they're the one with the engine problems) and was there for 2 years before moving again to mclaren where he was reportedly not treated very well and had a hard time driving the car so they mutually ended his contract with them early and he basically retired at the end of the 2022 season and became a red bull reserve driver. then halfway through the 2023 season alpha tauri ixed one of their drivers, nyck de vries, because he wasnt doing well and promoted daniel back up to a full time driver at alpha tauri (which we know is only a step down from red bull) but then he broke his hand in a crash in zanvort (?) and then he was replaced for a few races by formula 2 driver liam lawson (who we will also talk about) and then he came back to finish out the season in alpha tauri after he was cleared. daniel has admitted openly that he never should have left red bull and he was given bad advice to do so. hes towards the end of his career at this point and its well known that he Really Really wants to finish out his career at red bull again. he and max have already been teammates before and they do work well together and daniel is great driver (see his comeback in texas (or maybe it was brazil?) this year). so. Pretty Sure that daniels going to get either an extension at alpha tauri or go up to red bull. thats what we all want. get this man in a red bull we need him there biblically.

liam lawson. now technically liam is not actually a formula 1 driver. hes a formula 2 driver, but he was daniels replacement for five races and there has been some speculation and some confirmed news about him so hes getting included. when he was racing for f1 he was at alpha tauri. hes 21 and looks like he belongs in the movie grease. no one was expecting him to slay in formula 1 and he positively knocked everyones socks off. the scene: Singapore. which, if you'll recall, is the one race that a not red bull driver won. this was largely because liam lawson slayed the absolute game in qualifying. the qualifying part of racing determines what order the cars start in on the grid for the race and theres three parts, the first two parts the bottom 5 drivers each time get knocked out and then the top 10 complete for the last 10 spots. liam lawson knocked BOTH max verstappen and checo perez out of qualifying in the second round by going very slightly faster than them, effectively fucking up red bulls race and allowing carlos to win. and he also scored points in that race, which no one was expecting. now thats all fine and dandy, but here's the speculation: hemlut marko (im pretty sure) (who is somehow decently involved in the decision making at red bull though i couldn't tell you how) said that he thinks that liam lawson will be in an f1 seat no later than 2025. meaning that he will probably get offered a contract this year. and hes already raced for alpha tauri. red bull have sunk a good amount of money into him. they clearly want him. so if he gets offered an alpha tauri seat in 2025, that means theres a good chance danny rics is going to red bull. do you SEE how the plot here is THICKENED

yuki tsunoda. age 23. currently at alpha tauri. and fun fact, the only alpha tauri driver to race there the whole year. he had three separate team mates. he is slaying and hes often slept on. he has a bit of a temper and likes to shout on the radio and also hates working out (they had to force him to move to italy or something to work out, long story) but hes been kinda killing it. he led several laps in the abu dhabi race this year and hes decently consistent. people think theres possibility that he could get moved up to red bull on account of the fact that he is younger than daniel and clearly has more years in him,, but there is also possibility that he might not because red bull like to make stupid decisions. and if he doesnt get moved up to rebel, will he stay with alpha tauri? we don't know.

alex albon. age 27. currently a williams driver. alex albon is another one with a batshit career. he started out his rookie year in 2019 at alpha tauri then got moved up to red bull halfway through the year when red bull decided that pierre gasley wasnt doing a good enough job (more on him later) and stayed with red bull for a solid year and a half until he lost his seat in 2021 to checo. he has been with williams for the last two years and is basically carrying the team. like. williams as a team scored 28 points this year. and alex albon scored 27 of those 28 points. and as we know, williams is still kind of in their shit arc (though they are doing much better. they didnt score any points for a solid 2 (?) years. so this is an improvement.) and if you can get a shit car to perform you catch the eye of bigger teams. now, alex has already been a red bull driver. and he was on the cusp of podiuming two separate times when lewis hamilton ran into him. this (among a few other things) basically killed his chances at getting resigned at red bull because he wasnt ""performing"" and red bull are bitches who love to win. but some people think that red bull should give him another shot. like daniel, hes already been max's teammate and he can definitely drive. but theres also talk he might go to ferrari because ferrari think that he might compliment charles's driving style (or something). but going to ferrari at this point is kind of suicide. so.

logan sergeant. age 23. the only american on the grid. the other williams driver. he just finished his rookie year. he scored a grand total of one single point this season, in texas, and it was because charles leclerc and lewis hamilton both got disqualified because the floor of their car had more wear (by literally less than millimeters) than it was allowed to, bumping him up from 12th to 10th. he has never done better than alex albon. he was also the very last driver to get a contract for 2024, with williams waiting until i think december of 2023 to announce his contract extension. clearly, hes on thin ice. but people have also said that he needs time to get used to formula 1 (other people have pointed out that oscar piastri slayed his rookie season this year and this statement about needing time is largely false). where logan ends up next year though will largely depend on how well the 2024 season goes for him.

fernando alonso. 42 years old. many people like to point out that oscar piastri is actually younger than fernando's racing career. he won tiktok creator of the year (somehow) and is also a 2 time world champion. he retired a few years ago, just to show back up again and slay. during the first half of the season when aston martin had a zoom zoom car he killed it, and then they had problems on top of problems and he didnt do well. except for that one race in brazil where he came in third, beating checo by literally .05 seconds. he hasn't really made any hints about retiring a second time and he is kind of carrying aston Martin right now (he scored 205 points this season, coming in 4th and tying in points with charles leclerc, lance stroll only scored 74 points this year.) and they did have their best year yet this year. (though they are relatively new).

pierre gasley. 27 years old. french. drives for alpine. the french team. previously he raced with toro rosso (now alpha tauri), then got promoted to a red bull driver in 2019, then halfway through the season they decided he wasnt doing a good enough job and he got demoted back down to alpha tauri. then he won a race with alpha tauri just to stick it to red bull. after the great oscar piastri contract twitter war, he was signed as alpines second driver, with Esteban ocon being the other driver (more on him soon). estie bestie and pierre (both french) were childhood friends and now hate each other for unknown reasons and basically feuded on the track for most of the season. french civil war at alpine. he scored 62 points in 2023 and came in 11th. not really sure where he will end up, it is possible that he will stick it out at alpine.

esteban ocon. 27 years old. also french. currently driving for alpine. another one with a silly bonkers career. he started out at force india and had a baller few seasons there but his teammate at the time was checo, and checo didnt really cooperate with him too much and caused some drama that cost estie bestie some places and some points. max verstappen also beat him up in the garage once. thats not really relevant but it did happen. anyway, after the owner of force india was arrested for .... i don't remember what maybe it was embezzlement or bankruptcy or something money related, the team was backed by lawrence stroll and became racing point. but all of that happened mid season and lawrence was basically like look ill back you guys for now but next year my son gets a seat (lance) so one of you two (checo and estie bestie) have to go. and ultimately they let estie bestie go even though he was more consistent because checo had more sponsors and they needed money. so he was out of formula 1 for a few years (but was a merc reserve driver) and then went to Renault, which then became alpine. he did come in 12th though overall this season, just behind pierre. so. will alpine keep both him and pierre and keep the civil war going? whos to say.

nico hulkenberg. 36 years old. haas driver. in his 200+ f1 races he has never been on the podium and he really really wants to be on the podium. unfortunately this will never happen in a haas because haas fucking sucks. and everyone knows it. he is getting towards the end of his career though. though! stake f1 will become the mario Andretti and audi team in 2026 (don't question it) and they have supposedly voiced interest in nico. so we will see if he hangs on that long to end up at audi. for now tough, hes definitely hating it at haas. though, haas are going to have a different team principle next year so maybe that will change things. i have a sneaky feeling through that haas will probably end up with another 2 rookie drivers because everyone else is smart enough to not race for them.

kevin magnussen. 31 years old. haas driver. hes another deeply interesting character. he has had one podium. in his rookie season. in his first race. and none since. kevin started at haas in 2017 and then left at then end of 2020 when he basically got kicked off because the team needed money and they wanted to bring in drivers with more sponsorships. these drivers were mick schumacher and nikita mazepin. so kevin basically was forced to retire after the 2020 season. this went decently well for haas. until russia invaded ukraine right before the start of the 2022 season and, well, nikita was Russian and it was never distinctly proven that his dads company (who was sponsoring the team) wasnt also funding the invasion. so nikita got fired and they were literally like 2 weeks out from the start of the season, down a driver. who are you gonna call? kevin magnussen! and hes been back ever since. but hes clearly getting annoyed with haas. there was one great clip from this year where his car caught on fire and he kind of just stared into to, clearly hoping it would burn for a long time. so the likelihood of him extending his contract is looking slim.

valtteri bottas. 34 years old. currently a driver for stake f1 (alpha romeo, kick sauber, whatever you wanna call it). previously, he was a mercedes driver and notoriously helped lewis hamilton win a great many championships, until he lost his seat to george russell in 2022. there was a rather awkward part of the 2021 season where valtteri knew that he was out of a merc seat the following year and kind of just chose violence. he slayed. then he went to alpha romeo, grew a mullet and made a calendar of his ass. quite the glow up if you ask me. hes also very interested in cycling. honestly though, i have my own personal speculation that hes going to retire at the end of this year.

zhou guanyu. 24 years old. driver for stake f1 (alpha romeo/kick sauber, etc etc). hes doing alright. he just finished his second season, in his first season he was majorly out qualified by valtteri but this past season he managed to out qualify him a good 6 times. which is decently good for the tractor of a car hes driving. its possible that he could get a contract extension, but like logan, its probably going to depend on how the 2024 season goes for him.

and thats all the drivers. theres also a few others i didnt talk about, like some other f2 drivers who want seats and mick schumacher, who is currently a merc reserve driver, all of which could be contenders for f1 seats. but one things for sure. this is going to be the silliest fucking silly season.

feel free to add on and peer review me

[enchantestuff]

rekindle - rbr sebastian vettel

in which after a long time apart, you and Sebastian rekindle your love for one another in the least romantic place you could think of - a sweaty, packed nightclub

NOT MY GIF!!

warnings: public sex (ofc), fingering, teasing, lowkey angst at the start, nicknames, uncomfy ex, sebastain Vettel deserves a warning himself, happy sinning

taglist: @theringers​ @forestviper201 @icemanhoneybadger​ @formulamei @findthelightinyourlife

3.1k words

You smirked as your eyes met from across the club for what felt like the hundredth time that night. You hadn't seen him in over a year, the last time you were even in the same country as him had ended up with you climbing into a taxi, speeding away to the airport and him standing half naked in his driveway, wishing for the car to turn around and end his worst nightmare.

The relationship between you and Sebastsian was a complicated one to say the least. You had grown up with each other, your families vacationed together every second summer and you spent many christmases together. It was only when you got older that you started to really appreciate Sebastian.

Daydreams of what it would be like to spend a night in bed with him began to fill your free moments. Images of the two of you tangled in bed was once something that you could only dream about, but that dream certainly became a reality one unforgettable night in Italy.

It was during a celebratory dinner after yet another win that he had leaned over to talk to you. His lips brushed against the side of your neck and goosebumps had risen all over your skin, you cursed yourself for your reaction but soon began praising your childish antics once Sebastian finally caught onto how you felt about him.

The few words of “do i make you nervous, liebe?” led to the two of you making out in the corridor. That celebratory dinner escalated to a friends with benefits situation which set off a more than complicated relationship between the two of you where feelings were of course present, but stubbornness from both sides refused to let them be out in the open.

Your feelings for one another eventually escaped when he got into a nasty crash in the middle of a race. You ran up to him the minute he stormed into the garage, tears welling in your eyes as you crushed into a hug. He held you with just as much force and whispered into your ear what you had been waiting for months to hear.

He told you that you had been the only thing on his mind when he crashed into the wall and he didn't want to go a minute longer without telling you how he really felt about you

As much as you wanted things to be great with Sebastain, your relationship was unfortunately not plain sailing from there and the media had a bring role to play in your downfall. They wouldn't leave him or you alone, constantly following the two of you wherever you went and even going as far as sending mail to your shared home. It was the media that drove you to leave the man you adored and move to another country in search for a new career and a new life away from the public eye.

You stared at him now, unable to tear your eyes away from his beautiful frame. He looked as good as ever and you knew deep down that you would probably never see him again. So against your brain telling you not to, you engraved every detail of his face into your memory, not wanting to let him go just yet.

You felt horrible for leaving him and strongly believed that he hated you for abandoning him. You wouldn't have blamed him if he did, you sometimes hated yourself for that decision. So you kept your distance from him all night, repeatedly telling yourself that if he did not harbor any bad emotions towards you, then he would approach you himself.

To tell the truth, you were too embarrassed to go up to him yourself, too full of guilt to face him after what you had done. But when he made eye contact with you as he pulled a girl into his body, something inside you snapped and you found yourself being dragged into an all too familiar game of cat and mouse with him.

Your night of teasing had officially begun the minute he kissed the brunette's neck, refusing to break your stare as his hands ran up and down her hips. You decided it was your turn to reciprocate the teasing and pulled a random, but still handsome, man towards you to dance. Holding your gaze with him, you allowed the man to grip onto your hips and sway from side to side. Your ass pressing against him with every beat of the music.

You maintained eye contact with him as he chatted with multiple women, his hands resting dangerously low on their backs as he smirked in your direction, you hated how much you loved his little games.

You decided to take a dance break and stepped away from the claustrophobic dance floor. Moving towards the less packed bar, you leaned against the contour top as you ordered yet another drink. The feeling of hands wrapping around your hips didn’t surprise you, nor did the hot breath fanning across the back of your neck. You were used to the warmth of Seb’s body by now and after so much time apart, you still recognized his touch.

“Quite a show you put on back there,” he muttered, gesturing to the bartender for another drink before turning his attention back towards you. You kept your face forward, staring at the variety of liquor stacked on the shelves as Sebastian flirted with you in your ear. He was still positioned behind you, which you saw as the perfect opportunity to press your ass against his crotch.

The tightening of his grip only fueled you to press yourself further into him in hopes that you would emit an even stronger reaction from him, and boy did you get what you wanted. One of his hands rested underneath your breast and as he emitting a small amount of pressure against you, he forced you into him.

No longer leaning against the counter, you could now feel the entirety of his body pressed against you. Every vein and muscle. Every curve and dent of his body, Still, that didn't stop you from wiggling your bum against him.

“Are you trying to turn me on right now, love, or are you really that fucking oblivous?”

You twisted your head to finally look at him, momentarily taken aback by his pure beauty before regaining your confidence again. “That depends,” you hummed, purposely brushing your lips against his neck as you spoke, “Is it working?”

His hold on you tightened and somehow he pulled you even closer to him, allowing you to feel every inch and vein of his hardened cock. “Someones excited,” you smiled, immediately freezing up when you caught sight of your ex boyfriend standing next to you.

He was the man you had been with before Seb and it was safe to say he had completely broken your heart.

Confusion immediately filled Sebs body at your reaction, fearful he had done something wrong he moved to stand beside you, holding onto your bicep as he looked you in your eyes. “Are you alright, darling?” he questioned, his eyes bouncing back and forth as he searched your face for any indication of pain.

“Yeah its - “

“Y/N! Great to see you.” Dread immediately filled your body at the infamous voice, you felt yourself go rigid in Sebastian's grip and desperately wished for your ex to leave the two of you alone.

“Who's this douche?” Seb whispered in your ear, trying to relive some of your tension and comfort you in what seemed to be a terribly uncomfortable situation.

“Brad, hey,” you muttered, you grabbed hold of Sebastian's hand that was previously sprawled on the bar countertop, using the warmth of his touch as a confidence booster to finally turn around and face the brutal ex.

“How have you been?” he asked, refusing to even glance at the Redbull driver next to you, focusing his hungry gaze on you and you only.

You sighed deeply at his attempt of small talk. Could he not just say hello and move on? Did he really need to interrupt your night.

Sebastian kept a close eye on you throughout your short conversation. A sense of protectiveness filled him at your rigid stance, he knew you could handle the situation yourself but he couldn't help but want to aid you. He felt the need to get involved. So he did.

He didn’t let you answer the man's next question of what you had recently been up to, instead he grabbed hold of the side of your face, his fingers dipping into the nape of your neck as he pulled you into him. He grinned smugly at the worried glance you threw his way before connecting your lips together.

The kiss was hesitant at first.

Taking into account this was your first shared kiss together since the breakup, it felt both natural and unusual to be kissing him again, but as the seconds passed you found yourself relaxing in his hold and began kissing him back with much more force.

You lost yourself in the moment, the idea of your ex boyfriend watching you make out with your other ex boyfriend didn't even cross your mind. You solely focused on the way Sebastian’s lips felt against yours after such a long time apart. He was addicting.

Your eyes fluttered open when he pulled away, blushing slightly at the sheepish look he threw your exes way. “What were you saying, mate?” he confidently asked.

The feeling of his palm burned against your cheek and you couldn't even bring yourself to look at Brad, but you didn't need to as he just stumbled away, clearly intimidated by Sebastian.

There was no need for you to say anything to Seb - if the way you were teasing him earlier on in the evening was of no indication to how you felt about him - then the lustful look you were giving him now certainly was.

He immediately pulled you back into him, your lips reconnecting in a lustful kiss. With no more awkwardness surrounding the two of you, you found yourself enjoying it even more.

Moving one of his hands down your body, Sebastian forcefully squeezed your bum which emitted a gasp from you, allowing him to slip his tongue into your mouth, further deepening the kiss. He pressed his body against yours and your hands raked across it, feeling his muscles flex against your hands.

You moaned into his mouth the minute he dug his hips into you, the feeling of his body so close to you bringing you back to when the two of you dated. Confusion filled you when he pulled away, ending your lovely make out session and disappointing you tremendously. “Don't start what you can't finish, love” he warned, leaning down to scatter kisses across your chest, nipping and licking at every exposed area.

“Who says I can't finish this?” you remarked, grinning at the way his eyebrows rose at your statement.

“Look around us, darling” he stood up straighter, craning his neck to glance from side to side, taking into account the multiple people surrounding the two of you. Hundreds of people filled the room, hundreds of eyes that could possibly witness something. Hundreds of reasons why the two of you shouldn't get ahead of yourselves. But then again, when he looked back at you and the playful pout that crossed your features - he found himself making up a hundred different reasons as to why it was such a brilliant idea.

“But then again,” he continued, leaning closer to you in order to whisper in your ear, “that's never stopped us before.”

A shiver ran up your spine at his words, images flashing through your mind of previous encounters the two of you had in the most inappropriate areas. Cutting your daydream short, Sebastian grabbed hold of your hand and guided you up the stairs to the more secluded vip area.

The bouncer merily glanced at Sebastian before lifting the red velvet rope and letting the two of you in. Nodding a small thanks to the man, he continued his journey into the dimly lit area, a content hum leaving his lips at the sight of a small booth in the corner.

He sat down on the plush seats and you fell down to sit on top of him, the lower half of your body covered by the wooden table in front of you. Sebastian wasted no time in kissing your neck, unable to detach himself from your skin for more than a few moments.

Your head fell back onto his shoulder, watching the small group of people ahead of you dancing and laughing at each other caused a blush to quickly creep up your cheeks. The thought if anyone witnessing your antics both embarrassing and exciting you.

“Are you sure you want to do this, liebe?” Seb questioned, he placed his finger on your cheek and forced you to look at him as he spoke. “Because once we start, I won't be able to stop.”

“And why would I ever want you to stop?” you shot back, pressing your bum further into him to prove your point. Sebs eyes scanned the area, having seemingly decided the risk of getting caught was worth it, he ran his fingers up your thigh, under your skirt and into your underwear.

His other hand trailed the opposite direction, moving up your body to gently squeeze your breast. You arched your back at the sensation, your ass moving further into him and a harsh squeeze being delivered as a result.

Slipping a finger into you, his hand flew away from your breast to clamp over your mouth, muffling the sudden moan that escaped you. “You have to be quiet, sweetheart. There's people around us,” he reminded.

He littered gentle kisses up your neck and you could feel his smirk against your skin at the shaky breath you let out the minute he slipped a second finger into you. “I don't think anyone else deserves to hear your moans, darling.”

You hummed against his hand, wetness pooling at his words and your eyes fluttering closed as his thumb began to circle your clit. “Move up for a second, liebe,” he demanded once he removed his fingers from you. Having no other option but to comply, you braced your hands against the table and stood up on shaky legs. You patiently waited as Sebastain undid his belt, the sound of the metal coming undone bringing a newfound wetness to your core.

“Ready?” he questioned, moving his hand up and down your thigh to comfort you. You nodded your head, biting harshly on your lip, you quickly glanced behind you and yet another shaky breath tumbled from your lips at the sight you beheld.

Sebastain was sprawled across the couch with his dick barely covered by your body. The sight of him shamelessly sitting there did something to you and before you lost your confidence, you slowly lowered yourself down onto him.

“Keep quiet now,” he reminded once you took all of him in. Your hands gripped onto the table in front of you, your knuckles quickie turning white as you used it as leverage to start moving.

The sound of your skin hitting against sebastians was muffled by the laughter of the crowd and the loudness of the msic booming across the grand club. “I'm trying,” you grunted.

You slowly bounced on him, trying to keep your movements small and inconspicuous to the people around you. But Sebastian could only last so long without needing to take over. A moan accidentally escaped you once he began thrusting his own hips upwards to meet yours. In response to your foolishness, he grabbed a fistful of your hair, yanking not so gently on it as a warning and forcing you to look at the dim lights hanging above you instead of the people ahead of you.

Holding onto your body he quickly steadied you, forcing you to halt your movements as a random man walked up to the two of you. You shifted in his hold and attempted to reposition yourself to look more natural towards the stranger. You just wanted it to seem like you were cuddling the driver, not bouncing on his dick.

One of your arms wrapped around his neck while the other laid on his chest. You spared a quick glance downwards, making sure your skirt covered everything before looking back up at the man. Sebastian greeted him, admittedly not poilelty, but he greeted him nevertheless. It only took a few seconds for the two of you to realise he was a fan and by the looks of it, would do anything to hold a conversation with the Sebastian Vettel.

You couldn't help but move on his lap, the need for friction overwhelming you after staying put for several minutes. You slowly began rolling your hips, your heart racing at the sudden release of pressure and also at the fact you were grinding on him with a fan of his only a few feet away.

Sebastian cleared his throat, trying desperately to pay attention to the man in front of him and not on how good you felt clenching around him. His hips unintentionally runted up into you, muttering a quick curse under his breath he grimaced at the man, cutting his sentence short as he gestured towards you. “If you wouldn't mind,” he sympathetically commented.

“Right, right sorry,” he mumbled, “Enjoy your night.”

He soon scrambled away from view and Sebastian began carelessly thrusting into you again. You returned to your original position, now resting your head against the table, thankful for the pleasure filling your whole body. You could feel a bead of sweat forming on the nape of your neck and were almost certain you looked a mess but you couldn't have cared as you got nearer and nearer to your peak.

This new angle allowed Sebastian to take control of your activities. He guided your hips back and forth, not paying attention to the movement of the table nor the attention that the two of you could possibly bring your way. All he wanted was to bring you to your release. “Are you going to cum for me, darling?” he whispered. You nodded against the table, the coolness of the wood reliving your flushed cheeks as you felt the knot begin to release in your stomach.

You moved your hand to grip onto his thigh, “I'm gonna-” you mumbled, unable to finish your sentence as he gripped onto the back of your neck and forced you to sit up straight. His fingers immediately fell down your throat in a poor attempt to muffle your moans. You whimpered loudly at his show of dominance, your attempts to keep quiet failing profusely as he hurried his movements.

His fingers moved further down your throat as your walls clenched around him. Before you knew it you were spilling yourself against Sebastain. Your eyes rolling to the back of your head and heat filling your body as he followed in your actions.

[gr33nbull]

Kat’s Debrief - Bahrain GP 2022

The new season is officially underway and it certainly was…a race!

Ferrari - man what a stellar drive from the lads in red! Awesome to see a team with their caliber back to where they should be! (The bitterness in me wishes Seb was still there but I’ll stop sksksksksk) Leclerc was absolutely amazing and so was Sainz! The perfect 1-2!

Mercedes - Given the current circumstances, what an incredible race from our Merc boys 🖤 Lewis as always gives it his all, i cannot put in to words how happy that P3 and P4 made me. It felt like a 1-2! A very small bit of justice came through for our boys today. But in all seriousness, Merc have some hella work that needs to be done, i’m really hoping this is something they can get sorted in the next few races. We need these guys on top. We got an 8th drivers title to win. 🖤

Haas - AHHH amazing from Kevin and a brilliant drive from Mick too! A great pairing and honestly Kevin is a phenomenal driver. Mans not been in an F1 Race for over a year and he comes back with a fricking p5?! HELL YEAH! Excited for this teams potential and they truly deserve this. Well done haas!

Alfa Romeo - I mean Bottas, hasn’t changed 😂 always seems to struggle on the starts but what an incredible drive from him to get P6, super happy for him and also Zhou! His first point in his first ever F1 race?! Awesome achievement and some good points for Alfa!

Gasly - ahh that was unlucky, also gave me flashbacks to Romains crash at that same corner!! Think that corner is cursed 🥴

Mclaren - I…have no words…I know testing isn’t something to go off but… what the fuck was that? That was poor. I felt embarrassed for them. I felt sorry for Lando and Daniel. They were on the up from some poor years prior and it seems like all that progress has been erased, I’m beyond gutted for them. Hope this is temporary but I’ve got a horrid feeling this is 2016 again.

Aston Martin - I…again don’t know what to say…I mean Stroll did get P12 but the pace of that was horrendous. As bad as Mclaren. With all due respect Hulk, he isn’t their main driver so I understand his place. But I can’t bare Seb being P17 and I wouldn’t be surprised if he wanted nothing to do with the team after that lol 😂 (can everyone on stop saying Seb is gonna retire? Mans had a simulator built for him. He’s not going anywhere!! FUCK off with your retire bullshit! Where’s this for anyone else lol?) let’s hope these guys can pull themselves back up the grid! Where has that racing point pace gone?!

Redbull - I got nothing other than Karma did it’s sweet fucking job today!!! 😂🙌🏻😂

Bonus highlight - Alex! - can we just appreciate how well he did too?! For a car that’s also Merc powered, having a seemingly hard time for pace and not been in the car racing for year, He did a decent job. Outperformed his teammate! Glad he’s back!

It is clear that the Mercedes powered cars have problems. Called this be a PU problem? Potentially, but there has to be more wrong with Mclaren and AM for them be so atrocious. Either way. Mercedes are lacking on the PU front. Which is very concerning if we want our Silver Arrows up front.

I’m hoping for some minor improvements for next week for the teams (except Redbull lol) but realistically I don’t think we could see any changes until Australia. Even then the cars will still be needing major work.

Proud of everyone today on the track! Here’s to Saudi Arabia! Where we get Seb Seb back and Where my PTSD will probably kick in from the atrocity of last years race lol 💚

[hockeywhhores]

best for you- t. seguin

Tyler Seguin x f!Reader

warning~ swearing, smut, female and male receiving, alcohol consumption, pushy waiter 

summary~ A pushy bartender gets you thinking about Tyler and what you want next with him. 

genre~ friends with benefits to lovers, smut

word count~ 2.6K 

valentine’s week masterlist

main masterlist

As Tyler spent more time in Dallas, he found himself getting lonely. Insert you; you had just recently gotten out of a long-term relationship and were just looking for no strings attached sex. You had met when you started interning for the Dallas Stars, but left after deciding public relations wasn’t for you, you stopped interning. The guys liked you though, so you got invited to most of the social gatherings. You promptly got closer to Tyler due mostly to the fact you were both young and single. After getting close enough with Tyler, you both quickly jumped into a friend with benefits situation. No one but Jamie knew about what would happen behind closed doors.

Tonight was no different. Tyler had invited you to some club to celebrate their recent win. You knew you wouldn’t be making it back to your own apartment that night. You never did anyway. When all of this started, you both promised to end it if one of you got feelings, and you certainly were not successful. Tyler could say the same thing. Getting ready didn’t take long due to you already being ready from earlier in the day. The only thing that changed was your shirt. You went from being in a simple white blouse to Tyler’s jersey. The Uber you ordered was quickly at your curb, and you couldn’t be more grateful. Everyone was coming straight from the game, and usually you would be with them, but you had got stuck at work. Tyler was already texting you wondering where you were, and you put his mind to ease saying you were headed over.

The club was packed. Bodies were everywhere, you could hardly find the group of hockey players. You weren’t disappointed when you found Tyler in the crowd. Tyler was talking with Jamie when you snuck up on them. They were both dressed in their pregame suits. Tyler was looking as good as always. “Boo!” you cheered out. Tyler turned around so quickly, you thought he might’ve given himself whiplash.

“Hey! I was wondering where you were!” Tyler's grin was huge and contagious. You smiled just as big.

“Ya, my Uber got stuck in traffic.” you sighed out an explanation, “Hey Jamie! You both played so well tonight. I had time to catch the third period while I was leaving work.”

“Thanks y/n. Do you want anything to drink?” Jamie cut in.

“Just put your drinks on my tab tonight.” Tyler added on. You smiled at him in thanks. You never wanted Tyler to feel as if you were using him for his money. You turned around to order, when the bartender got closer. “You are wearing my jersey.” Tyler said.

“Yeah. I thought I should since you were such a big star tonight.” you explained. You thought nothing of wearing his jersey when you had put it on. Tyler loved seeing his last name on your back. It made him feel proud.

“Well, let me just say you look hot.” he whispered into your ear while he played with your hair. You swear you blushed redder than a tomato.

“How long do we have to be here, before I can treat my big star for his monumental work?” you questioned him.

“Give it an hour or two. They’ll be drunk enough they won't even notice when we leave.” Tyler guessed.

“Tell Jamie he might want to find somewhere to sleep for the night.” you chirped.

“I don’t think he’ll have a problem with that.” Tyler said as he pointed to Jamie, who was talking up some brunette on the other side of the bar.

“Prefect!” you cheered. The bartender had finally come back with your drink and set it on the counter.

“You have pretty hair.” The bartender told you, as you thanked him for your drink. He had completely ignored Tyler, who was at your side.

“Thank you.” you said again and turned away before anything could happen. When you and Tyler had started hooking up, your dating life came to a complete halt. You didn’t feel the need to get a one-night stand, you were perfectly content with Tyler. Tyler knew who to use his body, he also knew your body. You thought about when you first asked him to try you up. You felt yourself getting wet. This was going to be a long two hours.

“What’s going through that head of yours?” Tyler asked when he saw you turn bright pink. You just winked at him and walked over to his teammates. You wanted to play with him a little. You could hear them all talking about hockey.

“No more hockey! You guys need at least one night free of that outrageous sport.” you shouted as you got closer. A lot of the guys answered in cheering your name as you smiled and waved. Jason was seated on one of the end seats and pulled you into a quick side hug. When you came out of the hug, you felt Tyler’s hand pull you into his side by your hip. You gave him a questioning look, but he didn’t even look at you.

“Lets go dance, y/n!” Lauren excitingly demanded as she grabbed your hand. You decided to go and let loose a bit. You were dancing with Lauren for what feels like forever, and to be fair, it was long enough to finish sipping on your drink. You headed back to the bar. The same bartender was there, and you just tried to get this over with. You weren’t in the mood to get hit on by random men.

“Another vodka redbull, please.” you politely asked.

“Coming right up, beautiful.” you rolled your eyes and waited for him to make your drink. “Anything else I can get you? Maybe I can get your number?” he asked.

“I’m good, thank you.” you denied.

“Come on, please. It's just your number.” he tried to convenience you.

“I have a boyfriend.” you informed him.

“Oh, come on. The douche you were with earlier. I’m so much better than him.” he pressed on.

“I am extremely happy with him. He treats me so much better than you could ever.” you just walked away. Heading back to Lauren. “Hey, Lauren, I think I’m going to sit down for a while.” you told her.

“Are you okay?” she asked, concerned.

“Yeah. The bartender wasn’t taking no for an answer, and I want to sit with Tyler.” you explained. She just nodded and walked you back to the table. “Hey, Ty, Can you take me home?” you asked him quietly.

“Of course. Are you okay?” he asked

“Yeah, I just want to go home.” you said. Tyler got up in a flash and said bye to all of his teammates. You just waved. You had let him lead you out of the club, with his arm around your waist. You didn’t even care about what others might be thinking. Tyler held you close as he ordered an Uber. You were shivering. When you left the house you didn’t even think about grabbing a coat, but standing out in the chilly night you regretted that decision. He could feel you shivering, and after he had the car ordered, he pulled you in as close as he could. He even tried to get you to wear his jacket, but you said you were fine in his arms. So he just held you until the car came.

“What happened?” he gently asked while holding your hand.

“The bartender was being creepy and just out right disrespectful.” you explained. “He told me I should give him my number, and when I said you were my boyfriend, he told me about how he would treat me better than you. Fuck. It's just so annoying.” Tyler’s heart warmed when he heard you had told him you were his girlfriend. He wanted so badly for that to be the truth, but you were looking for a no string-attached relationship.

“I’m sorry, y/n” he said as his hand tightened around yours. You just lay your head on his shoulder, sinking into him.

“Are we going back to yours or mine?” you asked.

“I put my address in, but do you want me to change it to yours?” he countered.

“No, yours is fine.” you signed, resting onto him deeper. Tyler always tried to remind himself that he wasn’t good enough. He drank way too much, was covered in tattoos, and was traveling half the year. So even if you had felt the same for him, you didn’t deserve him. You deserved a nice guy who could be there for you.

When you got back to his house, you took charge. You rarely took charge in the bedroom, but you decided you wanted to tonight. You grabbed his blazer and pulled him into a hard kiss. He kissed back just as hard and pulled you closer by the hips. The dogs came to greet you, which made you pull away. You bent down to pet Gerry, while Tyler started talking to Cash and Marshmallow. Tyler led you to the bedroom and closed the door. You pulled him back into the kiss. You then started pulling off his suit blazer and unbuttoning his shirt. You started pulling off the jersey, but he stopped your hands.

“Keep it on.” Tyler demanded. You just nodded and unbuckled his belt. Sinking down to your knees and dragging down his suit pants. He was left in his boxers, and your mouth and pussy were growing wet. You left some sloppy wet kisses on the outside of his boxer, right on his tip. “Don’t play with me, Princess.”

“I would never, Daddy.” you innocently replied to him. You let the idea of you being dominant leave your mind. You dragged his boxers down and connected your mouth to his now fully exposed tip. Tyler grabbed the back of your head, and you let him lead your head. He started going faster, and you were gagging on him. He was long and thick, and hitting your gag reflex with ease. You played with his balls, while tears were escaping your eyes. You loved when he fucked your face. He was close to cumming, you could tell by the way he slightly slowed his thrusts. You started speeding up your movement, wanting him to cum soon. You kept going unto he coated your mouth with his seed. Tyler never expected you to swallow, but he would be lying if he said that he didn’t find it hot when you did. You swallowed, staring him in the eyes as you did so.

“You are killing me, Princess.” he groaned, and you smiled. “Get on the bed, let Daddy reward you.” You rushed back to the bed, and he pulled your jeans off when you got situated. Seeing your white lace panties made his dick spring. “Did you wear these for me?” you nodded, but he gave your pussy a slap when you didn’t answer.

“Just for you, Daddy.” you admitted. He smiled, happy with your answer. With feather light touches he pulled down your underwear. He loved seeing you squirm in his arms. After your panties were gone, he teased you by kissing your inner thighs. “Tyler. Please.” you begged him. You yelped when you felt a sting go through you. He had slapped your pussy again, but this time harder.

“That’s not my name.” he reminded you.

“I’m sorry! I meant Daddy!” you moaned out when you felt him kiss right above your clit. “Please.” you moaned again. Then you finally felt his lips attach to your clit. You were a moaning mess, and it only got worse when he pushed his fingers into you. He found your g-spot easily. Tyler knew your body like it was his. It was his. He was the one you called, and you haven’t even thought about sleeping with someone else in months. Tyler got you screaming when he pumped his fingers into you fast and was sucking on your clit. You felt like you were in heaven. It only lasted a couple seconds before you were cumming, and you were cumming hard. You were screaming his name. Your legs were shaking, and you had to push him off of you when the pleasure had started to sting.

“That was amazing, Doll.” he complimented you. You blushed and tugged him up so you could kiss him. He kissed you hard, and when you reached for down to play with him, you heard one of his dogs scratch at the door. “Fuck.” Tyler sighed out.

“Go open the door for them. We can finish later.” you swept the loose hair that had fallen into his eyes. He did as you said, and you took off the jersey, and put his white button down on your body instead. Later came and went with you and him cuddling in the bed watching some movie. The dogs had joined in, they all found their own places in little coves in the bed. “Do you ever wonder what it would be like if we put real labels on this” you quietly asked.

“What?” Tyler thought he misheard you, but when he saw you looking up at him with your loving eyes, he knew he heard you correctly.

“Nevermind. Please forget what I just said. We promised not to catch feelings.” you panicked.

��I think about it all the time.” he confessed. “I think about what it would be like to come home to you and the dogs every day. I messed up and caught feelings, but I’m no good for you. You could find someone so much better than me.”

“Tyler. You do not get to decide what is good for me. I’m so sick of men deciding what's good for me. You treat me like a princess. I can’t think of anyone who makes me feel the way you do.” you professed. You got up on your elbows and made sure his eyes didn’t leave yours. “I love you, Tyler.”

“I love you too, y/n. I just wished I didn’t have to leave so much. You need someone that will be there when you need them.” Tyler said.

“No. You were there for me, when my shower head broke, even though you were all the way in fucking Canada. You sat on facetime with me while I messed around with the pipes, before just telling me where your spare key was, so I could use yours. You are there for me more than you realize.” tears were now falling down your cheeks. Why couldn’t he see how good he was to you? “Please, just give us a shot.” Tyler nodded, and you grinned. The kiss was slightly salty because of your tears, but your happiness was overpowering it.

“I just want what's best for you, y/n.” he explained.

“you are what’s best for me.” you proclaimed, kissing his cheek.

“Okay, but the first time I fuck up you need to dump my ass.” he said.

“I will agree to that, because I know you wouldn’t fuck up,” you explained, “Well, not too badly.” you giggled, which got a smile back on his lips. You fell asleep in his arms with the dogs at your feet, and the light sound of the TV in the background.

finished

[i-may-be-stupit]

Idk the horney got me, so here we are HAHAHAHA 18+ and kinda a bit of crack at times, ENJOY!!!!! Oh! And this is reletively gender neutral, babes!!

Your name is (Y/N) (L/N). And you've always been known as a good kid. That is until your father was murdered by a hero. He did a lot of dirty work, sure, but he did it for his family to survive. And when a hero took him down, everyone cheered. They never though about his family. Nor his place in the world. They saw him as dirt. The same way you started seeing heros.

To you, heros didn't care about the villians and didn't care whether they died or lived. They were savage beasts who needed to be taken down. You became a villian. You would assassinate hero after hero with the simple tittle of "Marrow." And that's when you met the League.

They had the same ideals as you and could help make your dream a reality.

You joined the League, but you were still you. You were a seemingly innocent flower that blossomed in any form of villainous mayhem.

Your quirk was known as simply bone manipulation. You could manipulate your bones however you pleased and you could even shoot them out like needles. But, you were at higher risk for osteoporosis.

Its been 6 months since then and you've made yourself at home with the LOV. Twice and Toga were your closest friends now, but Shigaraki just hits different.

You'd go out and have fun with your two close friends, and to be honest, you're pretty sure that you three had pulled every prank possible on Dabi. Kurogiri was like a dad to you now. He gave lots of great advice and made sure that you kept up with your online college classes in between villian duties.

But shigaraki was a whole other story.

I mean, he was usually crule and hateful towards everyone, but the League was his soft spot. He treats members like family. He cherishes them. Even if he doesn't say it. He almost always have been putting them first.

And it made you kind of...attracted to him.

Yeah, he was dryer than the Saharan Desert, and had a diet of strictly microwavable ramen and redbull, but he was actually a good guy. You caught yourself staring at him a few times per day and your crush on him was appearant to you as well as all the other members.

So here you were, staring in awe at Tomura as he and Dabi played against eachother in Mortal Kombat. (They'd fight at least once a day, so Kurogiri made up the idea of fighting in Mortal combat instead whenever they got fed up with eachother) You blushed, seeing Shigaraki so serious. Ugh, there's just something about him...

Toga walked into the room and sat down in the loveseat next to you. She smirked before loudly announcing, "Gee, (Y/N)! It looks like your boyfriend, Tomura, is winning!" You started choking her.

No, deadass.

You fucking wrapped your hands around her neck and violently shook her head back and forth like Bart and Homer Simpson. Toga just laughed and moaned, causing you to feel too violated to keep choking her. You let go and as you did, Shigaraki stood up and started making fun of Dabi for being a "Bitch ass loser."

You blushed deeply, eyes lidded while gazing at the crusty boy. All you could see was Shigaraki, hearts around him as he did his breathtaking victory dance in slow motion. His gorgeous, dehydrated body swayed and jiggled happily as he jumped a few times, white specs gently fluttered from his head. His dandruff glistening in the florescent lights, as you sighed, absolutely smitten. Dabi rolled his eyes at his boss before looking at you. He then smirked. This cant be good.

Dabi chuckled. "Oh okay, Shiggy, you beat me fair and square." Shigaraki looked at him suspiciously. "It's okay though." He smirked, "Because I'm sure that (Y/N) can give me a little pick-me-up!"

The white haired boy glarred at Dabi then at you. Dabi slyly slipped over to you and Toga. He grabbed you be your wrist and pulled you up to stand. You were too flustered out of your mind to even do anything. He wrapped both of his hands around your waist. "Isn't that right, baby?"

You laughed awkwardly, "Dabi, not to be rude or anything, but you seem like a heavy man and I don't know if I could manage carrying all of your body weight if I were to pick you up, I mean my bones are kinda brittle as they are and-"

He brought his face to yours and kissed your neck softly. "We're gonna have some fun tonight, right?" You fucking hit him with a suplex, a small crack being heard from your hip. God damn it, your fucking brittle ass bones! Everyone burst out in laughter (aside from Kurogiri who was facepalming). Dabi sat on the floor rubbing his head in pain. "Fuck, (Y/N)! It was a joke!"

You folded your arms and frowned. "Well don't joke around with me like that!" Heat rose to your cheeks, "Especially in front of T-Tomura..." You looked at your boss to see him still too busy laughing at Dabi getting backflipped. You smiled shyly, holding your cheeks and wiggling like the love sick shit you are. He's so dreamy~ oh my, is he coughing up blood from laughing too hard?

You looked in disgust for a moment before sighing loudly. Ugh, it's so sexy when he coughs up blood! Shigaraki looked at his hand before licking the blood back into his mouth like a fucking heathen-

Sorry.

Your fucking heathen.

Later that night, everyone was out and about, leaving you and Shigaraki alone. He was drinking a glass of rum and coke as you doodled in a little notebook. You looked up to see him staring at you already. You both quickly looked away. It's been rough lately, dealing with your crush on him.

And Tomura was catching on.

Well, kinda.

He thinks he's really ugly and unworthy of love, so he thinks you just stare at him because you're still taken back at how hideous (he believes) he is. He's been wearing Father on his face more often and been getting more easily upset at you. But, he was also confused because he was starting to like your fragile self.

He's scared that he'll break you with one tap of the finger. That's just how fragile you seem. Shigaraki smiled softly, staring deeply into his glass.

(Y/N) seems so fragile, but they're a god damn hurricane.

Shigaraki swirled his cup around, deep in thought. How can they fight so well when they seem so brittle? It's strange. It's unexpected... It's interesting. Your boss' cheeks turned a tint of pink. (Y/N) can pull off a suplex on Dabi. Their back bent so far... I wonder what (Y/N) looks like arching it for me... He looked over at your figure. You were awkwardly dangling your feet off the couch, seeming to be lost in thought. Tomura sighed and took another whisk of his drink. They're way too cute for me...

There's been a lot of awkward times with you two alone. And you could both feel the tension. Shigaraki left to his room with a small sigh. He hates basically everything. But you? He might just love you.

You two hung out a lot actually. You'd play videogames together and have small movie nights for the two of you. You vividly remembered cuddling up beside him one winter night. It was snowing and you two chatted while sitting on the floor making Smores in the fireplace.

But it got harder and harder to be around eachother when you both started liking eachother. It got...awkward. And the night that Tomura asked you if you wanted to watch a horror movie with you and got a concerned face from you was the night his heart broke. You just didn't want to accidentally grab him at a jumpscare and have him laugh at you for being a pussy. But he thought that you just didnt trust him.

You sighed, thinking about that shitty night, and walked to Shigaraki's room. You had to tell him about your feelings. You knocked softly and was allowed to enter. Shigaraki was sitting in bed, wide awake, just sitting there, staring at the wall in front of him in thought.

You sat awkwardly on his bed in a tense silence for a good minute as the man just stared awkwardly at you through the hand on his face. Shigaraki sighed when he noticed you werent going to say anything, and he set Father down on his nightstand.

"(Y/N), I feel uncomfortable with you staring at me all the time." Heat rushed to your cheeks and you stared harder at the  ground. "I get that I'm ugly, but you should know how rude it is to stare-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" You glarred at him, anger boiling up. "The fuck did you just call yourself?!"

He glarred right back at you. "I said I was ugly, did I stutter?"

Yeah. Youre choosing to ignore that attitude. "Tomura, you're not ugly."

He rolled his eyes. "There is literally no other reason for you to be staring at me that much, mutt."

You folded your arms with a frown. "I think you're handsome."

He laughed.

He laughed hard as hell.

For a good 3 minutes straight.

"Oh thats a good one, (Y/N)! You know, I'm actually enjoying you-"

"I'm serious!" You poked his chest hard while getting closer to his face, your eyebrows furrowed in annoyance. "I think you have pretty eyes!" You poked him again, "You have a pretty face!" You poked him one last time, "And you're an amazing leader!" Shigaraki went silent with a blush and so did you. You twittled your fingers together, looking away timidly. "I-uh... I think I l-like you, actually."

Tomura chuckled breathlessly with concern for your mental health, eyes darting around uncomfortably. "Are you being...serious...?"

"Mm-hm..."

"Oh....okay." He awkwardly looked away from you with a small blush. Hes never had anyone like him romantically. Actually, not a lot of people even like him generally. And it made it extra weird with you being so damn cute and funny to him. 

You layed down on his bed, anxiety rushing through you. It was weird to tell your boss that you liked him. I mean, its probably gonna be awkward between you two forever! Tomura layed down next to you. His hands overlapping eachother on his chest. You looked over to him with a small awkward smile. "So-uh... do you like me back...?"

Tomura frowned. "Are you fucking dumb??" You winced and he just rolled his eyes. "It would be impossible to not fall in love with you." A small chuckle left your lips as he softly started playing in your (h/t) hair.

You frowned. "Did I say you could touch my hair?"

He rolled his eyes before lifting you up to straddle him. Heat rushed to your cheeks. And you pushed his chest away as your (e/c) eyes darted away. "T-Tomura, what are y-you doing?" You were speechless and flustered. And it wasn't helping that his hands were laying on your waist (pinkies up of course).

Tomura chuckled with a mischevious look in his eyes. He slowly moved his hands up and down your sides. "Let me play with your hair...and as a reward..." He kissed you softly on your lips. "I'll make you feel things you've never felt before...." He licked your ear and you thanked the Lord for that because it just made his mouth a lil less crusty. "Deal?" His breath tickled your ears and your breathing turned into aroused, airy breaths.

"Deal..." Shigaraki smirked before kissing you roughly, his hand engulfed in your (h/t) hair, leaving his middle finger up of course. As his tongue darted around your mouth, he pulled your hair harder, causing a wince of pain from you. His lips left yours quickly.

"Am I being too rough?"

You smiled softly at him. He cares! "Oh, just a little."

Shigaraki grinned before pulling your hair even harder. "You'll get used to that." Your eyes widened in fear and pain as he threw you onto the bed roughly. He kissed you harder, and forced your thighs open with both of his hands, pinkies up.

He laughed with arousal, pressing his clothed member against you. You sighed as he grinded against your bottoms while tongue kissing you. His hands left your thighs and brought themselves to your body. He sucked, kissed, and bit all over your neck and his indexes and thumbs twirled and pulled at your nipples under your shirt.

"Ah-!" You moaned loudly as the man sucked at your soft spot. "T-Tomura!" A small gasp left your lips and his connected to your skin. Mumbled moans came from you, your hand over your mouth. Tomura glarred the second he heard a moan muffled. "H-Hey!" He had grabbed your hand from over your mouth and tightly gripped it with four fingers, pressing it against the headboard.

He grinned widely out of nowhere, "You really thought you could get away with hiding those beautiful sounds from me?" He sat up, unbuckling his jeans. His eyes went cold as he took off his pants and boxer briefs. "I'm gonna have to get some type of...hm, whats the word?" He looked away in though before smiling and snapping his fingers, "Compensation! Yeah...and I know just what I want from you." Shigaraki push you off of the bed roughly. You fell to the floor and rubbed your arm. He sat on the king-sized in front of you with his cock in his hand. "Suck."

You frowned at him. Did he really have to push you off like that? You got on your knees between his thighs and took a good look at it.

Fuck, he's hung...

You covered your mouth with a huge blush. Where the hell did that come from?! He was a good nine inches and quite thick. You frowned at him and pointed at his cock. "The fuck am I supposed to do with this?" He frowned.

Shigaraki didnt say another word. He just grabbed you by the hair and placed it against your lips. You frowned before licking the tip softly, making him laugh breathlessly. "Fuck..." You sucked on his tip and his hand tightened around your hair, pulling a bit. He looked down at you, smirking while absolutely flustered. "Ugh, your little mouth was made for my fat cock, wasn't it, (Y/N)?" He chuckled and pressed your head forward, forcing a bit more of him inside of you. Shigaraki panted as you bobbed your head back and forth on him. "Youre such a fucking slut..." His cheeks was tinted pink as he stared down at you. Tomura started bobbing your head back and forth on him. He laughed as you gagged on him. "What? Is it too big?" Your face went even hotter. How can he be so fucking conceited yet self conscious?! The white hair boy held your face and was practically thrusting into your mouth at this point. He threw his head back and groaned as cum filled your mouth. "Fuck, (Y/N), you're good at that." He watched you like prey as you thumbed the white substance dripping down your chin. You licked your thumb and he chuckled. "How does it taste?"

You smirked at him minscheviously while getting back on the bed. You took off your bottoms and short then spread your legs. "It tastes good enough to deserve a tip, right?" Shigaraki licked his lips as he crawled in between your thighs.

He rubbed you, playing with your slit. "Did sucking me off really get you this turned on?" You flushed and covered your eyes with your forearm. Tomura smirked mischievously as he licked at you. You moaned quietly, his tongue swirling around and his finger going in and out of your hole.

He stuck his ringerfinger in and you squeaked in pleasure. "Mmm... Tomura, I-just like that..." He sucked and licked, getting more sloppy as his fingers pumped in and out of you. He pumoed faster and faster and your small groans turned into loud moaning as you orgasmed. "Fuck Tomura! Ah-!" You came in his mouth, immediately apologizing. Shigaraki just licked his now soaked fingers and you just stared at him, blushing hard as hell. You smiled softly. "H-How do I taste?"

His red eyes prowled your body as he got on top of you. Your cheeks got hotter when he strattled you. You sighed as he rubbed his manhood against you. Small, flustered moans escaped your lips at his teasing. "You taste like you were missing something." His warm breath tickled your ear, "But I'll fix that right up for you."

Tomura slowly entered you. He groaned out your name in ecstasy. You were a bit uncomfortable at first at his thickness. "W-wait, dont move yet..." You breathed in and out slowly, feeling yourself adjust to him. A groan left your lips, "O-okay..."

Tomura grinded against you, kissing your neck as your hands fiddled with his hair. He started off slow, savoring the feeling of you. He sighed into your collarbone. "God, (Y/N), you're so tight..." He cursed underneath his breath, fucking you a bit faster.

Tears pricked at your eyes. This was almost too much for you. Youve always fantasized about being with Shigaraki and now that it was happening, it felt almost too good to be true. He grinded into you deeper, filling you up fully as his hand held both of tour wrists above your head. The bed rocked as he started thrusting into you faster and deeper. "T-Tomura, you feel so good inside of me!" He groaned louder and you couldn't help but become flustered at all of his noises.

He fucked you even faster and harder. "Fuck, youre mine now, okay?" You nodded and moaned louder at him. "Oh fuck!" His white hair bounced as he pulled out and flipped you over. You were on your forearms and knees, begging for him to keep fucking you good as he thrusted in and out, his hand pulling at your hair as the other gave the occasional spank on your ass. Tomura's thrusts became sloppy as you reached your peak. You both moaned loudly, his cum pouring from inside of you. Shigaraki pulled out and immediately collapsed next to you.

You panted as his arms wrapped themselves around you. You smiled at him. "That was good, right?" He chuckled and kissed your lips.

"The best."

You two spooned as Kurogiri had an extra glass of wine, in utter disgust at when he was forced to hear.

[scarlett-hamiltonf1]

Can we get an imagine where the reader finds Seb really sexy in green?;)

                                   ~Green is the New Sexy~ 

3/24/21

*Smut Warning* *Please read at your own discretion*

Word Count: 1440

Sebastian always looked good. From RedBull to Ferrari and now Aston Martin. You along with what seems like every single female fan agreed with you. Now, let’s not forget, you yourself are a model. A mainstream, famous one at that, who happened to be at the Monaco Grand Prix a few years ago. You were nineteen and he 23 about to win his first WDC, also that day he would propose to you. From the moment your eyes met you knew, Sebastian was going to be a force in your life.  

Little did you know how fast you would come to love the Ferrari driver. Being his wife has a lot of perks as well. When you’re not doing a shoot, you’ll be at races with him, trying to be supportive of his demanding career. It wasn’t easy on you or him, to be honest, but it was worth every single second.  

When the news broke Sebastian wouldn’t be continuing with Ferrari, you were livid. Sebastian almost had to take away your electronics to stop you from giving Mattia an earful. Of course, you calmed down and were especially proud when Sebastian announced his contract with Aston Martin on Ferrari's 1,000th race day, overshadowing them by a long shot. Besides that small hiccup, all was well in your little world.  

While Seb and you didn’t have kids yet, Charles still remained your unofficial love child with Sebastian and you had him and Charlotte over a lot. Then came Lance Stroll to add to your family and finally Mick sealing the deal. You’ll never admit it, but Mick’s your favorite. He’s just a little angel, and you really wanted to see him succeed in Formula 1. Which, brings us to the day before the Aston Martin livery reveal.  

“Seb, they’re going to be here soon!” you called from downstairs.  

You hear light footsteps and Seb appeared at the base of the steps in your home in Kensington. It was actually closed to Lewis, who was another close family friend.  

“Why must we have the children over?” Seb groaned.  

“Because you secretly enjoy having the younger drivers look up to you.”  

Sebastian hugged you from behind while pressing a soft kiss to your cheek as the doorbell rang. Without hesitation, Sebastion sprang toward the door causing you to laugh at his actions. No matter how much he denies it, he enjoys having the younger drivers  

“Y/N!” Mick called as he rushed to give you a big hug.  

“Mick Schumacher, I am so proud of you!”  

He blushed at your compliment before moving to let Charles and Lance hug me. The trio was invited over to watch a movie before Seb left tomorrow, to Aston Martin F1 headquarters for the launch.  

While the drivers watched Ford vs Ferrari, you made your way upstairs and began looking through photo albums that you kept of your very favorite moments. The picture of Seb and you posing together, after your wedding ceremony was your favorite.  

One that stood out was the large smile on his face when he won his first Championship. That smile had been gone for a long time since Ferrari. All you want is to see him smile like that again.  

“Bye Y/N!” the trio yelled, shaking you out of your thoughts.  

Sebastian cleaned up downstairs before crawling in bed with you. He could sense something was off with you, but to his better judgment, he decided to let you bring up the issue with him when you felt ready.  

“Seb?”  

“Yes, darling.”  

You sighed, “We’ve been married ten years, and I can tell when you’re upset. Your love for racing, do you think it will come back now that you’re at a new team?”  

Sebastian held onto your hand while looking you in the eye. “It already has come back, and you helped me tremendously,” he replied. “Even though you almost made we mess up my start at the Monaco Grand Prix in 2010.”  

You gave Sebastian a dirty look. “Not my fault you couldn’t keep your eyes off of me when I was a grid girl.”  

“If they ever brought the grid girls back, would you be mine?”  

Sebastian looked at you with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. You really would say yes, just for him, but you also weren’t ready to give him the satisfaction.  

“Goodnight, Seb.”  

“Sweet dreams, my love...I’ll be dreaming of my grid girl.”  

The next morning you two found yourselves at Headquarters after a long drive. While Sebastian did the presentation, you waited in his room with a bedroom, bath suite, and sitting room. Of all the places to have a suite, the Aston Martin Headquarters was not the first place that came to mind.  

Finally, you heard the key swipe and the door swung open, revealing a pleasant surprise. When you saw Seb, a small shiver ran through your spine. Green was definitely his color this year. Might have been red last year, but good by red and a warm welcome to green!

“So, handsome.” You smirked.  

Sebastian smirked back at you before giving you a quick kiss. “So, you like the uniform?”  

“It’s perfect. I really think green is your color, Seb,” you replied as you sat on his thigh.  

Your eyes met as you became very away from the rough fabric rubbing against your own jeans. Sebastian’s hands flew to your waist as he scooted you up his thigh slightly.  

“My God, you’re going to kill me woman with those looks.” he groaned as I moved my hips ever so slightly against him. “What do you want, Angel?”  

“You.”  

“How?”  

“Rubbing my clit till I can’t take it anymore.”  

Sebastian kissed you passionately on the lips while taking off your jeans and underwear, quickly attaching a finger against your bundle of nerves as you arched your back in response.  

You let out a loud moan as Sebastian continued circling your clit with his thumb while two fingers slipped inside you, quickly finding that sweet spot.  

“Se––Seb!” You cried out.  

Sebastian smirked widely, as he picked up the pace. “You look so beautiful, taking my fingers Angel.”

“Fuck, Sebastian!”

“Yes, that’s the plan.” he quipped playfully.  

Leave it to Sebastian to make a joke in the middle. Sending him a glare, he curled his fingers in you as waves of pleasure rolled through you quickly. You gripped his shoulders, as your legs began shaking, signaling to Sebastian you were close.  

“Seb...Seb, I’m close.” you moaned softly.  

“You like the green uniform?”  

All you could do was moan in response as he slowed down his movements only slightly.  

“Then I want you to come right on it,” he demanded with an authoritative tone causing another shiver to run down your spine.  

Without warning Sebastian picked up speed again while ramming his fingers in you, twisting and curling them to your sweet spot every time. Your moans became louder and needier, as fireworks were going through you.  

“Sebastian!” you screamed out as you finally came undone. You grinded down on the rough green fabric of his race suit, only causing more pleasure to roll through you.  

Sebastian continued to rub your clit through your orgasm, and soon you felt liquid running down your legs. When you caught your breath, you saw Sebastian looking at you in amazement.  

“You squirted, Angel,” he explained.  

“Seb, you unlocked that a long time ago, yet you still get so surprised every time.” you chuckled as he picked up, and walked to the bathroom.  

Seb chuckled. “Well, if I’d known me wearing green turned you on quickly, I should've shown you the uniform sooner!”  

Your eyes flicked up to Sebastian, while you hung onto his like a baby koala bear. “You had this for a while?”  

“Yeah, about a month.”  

“Well...you should expect every time you put on the suit for this to happen.” You replied with a smirk.  

Seb’s pupils were still blown as he kissed you again. “Anytime for you, Angel.”  

With a final kiss, Sebastian started a warm bath for you to soak in. Despite being married for a decade, and knowing each other better than the other, you still managed to keep each other surprised. It was just the nature of your relation, and you wouldn’t change it for the world. You were glad the grid girls were gone but thankful they had them at one point because you might’ve not met your man in green. After all, green is the new sexy.  

~Hope you enjoyed it!~

[chal-lelerc]

ok so like. here’s my harry potter house thing. i’m ngl i tried to do this but then i deleted it bc it was getting too long and i didn’t have the attention span but. it kept sticking in my brain so i decided to pick it back up and as such, i’ve lost the original post but it was a quarantine activity (sort drivers into houses, assign quidditch positions, explain) posted by @verstappened​. houses done first, then positions, then explanations for both. i tried to make feasible teams, i.e making sure there arent too many of a single position per house, so this really screwed some of the sorting but oh well.

i did the houses first, then positions, then explanations in that order for the most part.

5/13/20: the sorting was mostly done before i heard all the differing opinions (of which there were many!)

5/19/20: alright so this is literally like 2 months old but i’ve just finished it lolol

Lewis Hamilton:

Slytherin: THE GLORY MAN. the aloof kind of superiority, confidence, is top dog, he’s simply the pinnacle of it all. kind of lethal and doesn’t do the whole ‘looking up to others’ things (outwardly, but he seems very soft on the inside tbh). very majestic and is almost a gryffindor, the kind of slytherin that Merlin is. hard-working, got here from incredibly humble beginnings, which kind of stands out from the rest, but he’s clearly now at the top level of society. still very protective of Others. scarily ambitious. Was originally a gryffindor but I wanted the brits to be in different houses for their quidditch positions to work. Could honestly go either way though.

Seeker: more glory. periodt. he stays winning and scoring the most points. clutch-man. Speedy boy, kind of in a different world than everyone else when competing (he’s always at the front lifetimes away from everyone else lmao. playing a diff game.)

Valtteri Bottas:

Hufflepuff: HE SEEMS. LIKE. A. BIG. CHILD. always relegated and brushed off but is literally God-Tier and no one can convince me otherwise. i consider him to be rather reliable (reflecting only the 2019 season at least lmao). a bit of a vindictive streak bc he knows what he’s Capable Of even when others underestimate him. has a very bright smile.

Beater: have u seen him. he’s a big boy even though he’s 5′8 and only an inch taller than lando norris he seems bigger than he is ok

Charles Leclerc:

Slytherin: this bitch. what a snake. hiss hiss.

Chaser: he wants what lewis hamilton has but chose the wrong position. still a star in his own right. pride and joy of his house, will be at the lead of every formation play unless told otherwise by his head of house, to which he will brood and complain ab but comply in the end bc he wants Team Success and loyalty to his Family. scores the most points on the team and people act like he carries even though he literally has a partner(s).

ok but fr my gut said charles is a slytherin (do i really need to explain why? very critical, doesn’t accept inferiority, somehow succeeds. just a feeling his brain seems to fit motorsport politics well), but i was seriously contemplating whether he’d be a gryffindor to max’s slytherin instead. but then i saw someone mention the whole lion schtick and i was like for all of max’s brattiness he is Gryffindor so sharl is snake. sorry don’t make the rules just follow them.

further edit: this was written before he started streaming (this is how old this draft is) and can u believe him he’s the epitome of the “not all slytherins r evil wenches” idea

Sebastian Vettel:

Ravenclaw: idk for all of Seb’s goofiness he just seems cerebral to me. Seems to know mildly irrelevant facts and is really quite smart however is hopeless in the modern age. Kind of that wise old(er he’s not that old) man knowledge. I’d trust him to give me all the life advice I need but also to write a 10 page essay on the nuances of the effect of emotion on verbal language (which we all know he is very experienced with).

Keeper: it’s the protective Dad Power.

Max Verstappen:

Gryffindor: WAS REALLY GONNA PUT HIM IN SLYTHERIN BC HE’S A NASTY LIL SHIT. TOTAL BRAT. GIVES FUCK ALL WHAT OTHERS SAY. BUT HE IS LION AND LION IS HE SO GRYFFINDOR IT IS. also just bc he needs to oppose sharl in every way possible it’s called Poetic Cinema. also his driving style is clearly the bravery and confidence to the point of recklessness that is prevalent among gryffindors.

Chaser: again, he must oppose Charles. so, not a seeker although he’s clearly singularly the most prized competitor. just like Charles, pride and joy of house, their star chaser. the comparisons never end. the competition never ends. the fighting never ends. one of the most interesting and dynamic performers to watch, is predictable in that he’s not predictable except that he will always be aggro to the max. will always be in trouble for getting rough bc that’s Not His Job but that’s just the gryffindor disregard for rules. master point scorer.

Alex Albon:

Gryffindor: was really a toss up btwn this and Hufflepuff but the ultimate deciding factor was the fact that I wanted all the British Boys to be seekers. he really just sticks it out as max’s teammate like a real one (nothing against max, everything against Helmet Merco) for the good of the team, still is sweet with max anyway. fitting that they’re in the same house too.

Seeker: he’s not the small boy that lando and lewis are but he is (thai/)British. very special boy (big ups on the promotion even tho it was Sad Times for Pear) deserves very special job. also he has a hot girlfriend (alex albon who i only know lily he’s boy toy) idk how that’s relevant but it seems fitting.

Carlos Sainz:

Ravenclaw: bc he’s a spaniard but is still better at english than Lando (i think everyone is tbh). Seems to be a quiet type of smart, sensible, but perhaps this is just the consequence of being compared to Lanno at all times LMAO (no hate all love bby Lannd). would be the type of ravenclaw to follow his friends on absolutely idiotic ventures but would step in to prevent near death or likely-legal-problem causing actions (and only then; otherwise it’s every man for themselves and everyone is free to make a fool of themselves and break some laws. carlos may dabble in such practices.)

Chaser: seems to be a go-getter, not going for points doesn’t even cross his mind. will always be the one driving up the pitch, the strategist of sorts bc he seems big(ger) brain (than lando lololol).

Edit: I wrote this part ab him long ago but this entire section of this post is now irrelevant and canceled.

Lando Norris:

Hufflepuff: you all know why. zero explanation needed. like, none.

also has a bit of an aggressive streak which tends to catch ppl off guard. is not afraid to confront u (hello pageNO) and at times defies the hufflepuff stereotype of being perpetually happy go-lucky (he has his bad days!). but when with His True Crew he is absolutely a hufflepuff ball of energy.

Seeker: small and speedy. energetic to the max. small. quirky and different from the rest, so he gets the special job. small. everyone would kill to protect him. small.

Daniel Ricciardo:

Gryffindor: AW I DIDN’T EVEN REALIZE THAT I PUT HIM AND MAX TOGETHER. LOOK I EVEN MADE THEM BOTH CHASERS. AH HOW BIGBRAIN MY MIND IS. everything ab dan is gold. golden skin, the colors in redbull and renault, his smile, just the vibes. he’s just got the enthusiasm and charisma and this intensity of a gryffindor. super aggressive, his late breaking (from his rbr at least) is legendary and maddening with how he pulls it off. is almost a hufflepuff but the gut said no.

Chaser: is Max’s teammate. so yeah. was obviously the star until younger max came to the show. a bit lost in limbo bc of it but they still work well together.

literally want to make him a hufflepuff so. bad. but i couldn’t split up maxiel. also his vibe is just different from other ‘puffs like stroll so.

Esteban Ocon:

Slytherin: ask max.

Chaser: being characterized off of their relationship with max seems to be a theme here. will go head to head with max w/ absolutely zero shits given. talented, but the rivalry with max is entirely secondary to charles imho. still yet to show his full potential but is still quietly a thorn in max’s side. many are interested to see what he is able to do in the immediate future.

Pierre Gasly:

Hufflepuff: GUYS HE WANTS TO OWN A PANDA

Chaser: constantly trying to prove himself and score big boy points. had a stint as seeker until lando came along. did not do as well as ppl had hoped, returned to chaser and proceeded to crush it from there. praticed a lot with charles as children (the friendship dynamic w/ their houses was definitely unforseen but is amazing).

Daniil Kvyat:

Hufflepuff: really wanted to make him a slytherin but the quidditch positions didn’t work out. firmly believe this works though. more of the rough and tumble type, definitely the kind that will sock u in the nose if u write off hufflepuffs as a joke. could honestly probably be a gryffindor too with how unapologetically aggressive he can be in the name of His Beliefs. gives me big dumb himbo vibes now that i think ab it tbh which is mostly the justification here. also he has a child omg.

Chaser: but the one that’s always headbutting bludgers out of the air (torpedo bitches). also had a stint as seeker before but it Was Not His Thing. he’d much rather be chasing and throwing things than seeking things. also he’s pierre’s mate :,) would’ve been a beater but romain and valtteri will not be anything else so daniil took the boot whoops.

Sergio Perez:

Slytherin: it’s just the vibe. knows his weaknesses and is able to make up for it with his confidence and talent in his strengths. very ambitious, plays the right cards at the right times to get the right results. something ab him puts me on edge, but like in a good way; i feel like there’s always a trump card up his sleeve, like when he gets to q3 out of fucking nowhere in a racing point.

Keeper: he gives me the same vibes as seb idk what it is. very dependable, backbone of his team.

Lance Stroll:

Hufflepuff: guys have u seen the guy. he’s just here to have a good time. may seem a bit airheaded at times but he means well 99% of the time. untapped potential. seems like a no thoughts head empty canadian hockey boy (and every one of these types is a hufflepuff don’t fight it); may or may not be the only accurate description of him.

Chaser: he’s just trying his best out here. i

KEEPER?: SO I DID A QUICK GOOGLE AND HE USED TO BE A HOCKEY

GOALIE?????

so scratch my initial thoughts (tbh i didn’t really know where to put him and i originally had romain as keeper but that’s an issue to fix later on now) BECAUSE LANCE STROLL IS A keeper GOALIE AND NO ONE CAN REFUTE THIS. ABSOLUTELY NO HUMAN OF THIS EARTH. WHAT GLORIOUS INFORMATION TO STUMBLE ACROSS.

Kimi Raikkonen:

Slytherin: guys i really don’t have an in depth analysis of this but i don’t think iceman needs one.

Beater: see above^. y’all must get the vibe.

tbh could also be a keeper tho similar energies to seb and checo, but honestly his no fucks given attitude is ultimately what swayed me

Antonio Giovinazzi:

Gryffindor: he just has that majestic quality (that could also fit a slytherin but i only see red when i see antonio). look at that lion’s mane. also he’s one of kimi’s to paddock friends? seems fitting that he’s a gryffindor to kimi’s slytherin.

Chaser: plays second fiddle to the duo that is max and daniel, often regulated to vibing on the side. but he’s there and he’s important and he has potential (i’ve been seeing ppl talking ab a ferrari move and i’m positively shaken). [edit: again, this post is old.]

im sorry its glaringly obvious idk much about him asdfjasldkd

Kevin Magnussen:

Slytherin: guys lots of these are just self explanatory sorry if i seem like im taking the cheap way out but it’s fact. brundle and crofty call him a great white shark for crying out loud.

Beater: unapologetically chaotic. lurking around the edges making people feel hunted. spends more time playing baseball in the middle of the matches than quidditch and sometimes it backfires but it’s good fun and it sometimes works.

Romain Grosjean:

Hufflepuff: y’all he’s such dad energy and he likes to cook. gets written off a lot but he actually cares (he’s a part of the grand prix drivers assoc.!). he seems so wholesome and he spends time with his kids and their school work when he can do u feel those water drops yeah those r my tears.

Beater: i really wanted to make him a slytherin beater to make him teammates with k-mag but he’s just. not a slytherin. but i kept the beater part. spends the majority of the hufflepuff v. slytherin matches sending bludgers kevin’s way even when he doesn’t mean to. it’s always reciprocated.

George Russell:

Ravenclaw: I’VE SAID IT BEFORE AND I’LL SAY IT AGAIN THIS KID. is so marvelously well spoken and he just has such a simple yet effective way with words. he knows what’s reasonable to expect but never fails to expect the most that he can given his circumstances. again, mentioned this before but a lot of it is his accent. the glottal stop is a historically stereotypically rural (i.e. “uneducated”) thing but I’m American and I Don’t Listen to the Rules, so the accent just makes him seem so sophisticated to me especially when he’s saying things like “horriiiiiiiific” and presenting his hefty powerpoints.

Seeker: my British Boys Are Seekers headcanon continues. definitely a Golden Boy of the team kind of guy (hello tragic dumpsterfire that is williams :/ ).

Nicholas Latifi:

Hufflepuff: same boat as lance. his twitch streams are so wholesome he’s just chilling man. twitter made me write him off as daft and unnecessary at first but like fuck twitter i’m all here for ninky latvia now.

Chaser: lowkey gives me keeper vibes as well? the sensible, level-headedness. but obvs that’s lance so chaser it is. still the level-headedness that helps him hold down the fort btwn pierre and daniil who can tend to get a bit imaginative, and also the energies of them + lando.

5/19/20: so it’s quite clear to me that i grew tired of brain functions the more time i took on this and the later ones are a bit lacking and for that i’m very sorry. that being said i’m still happy to see this finished bc the idea was VERY exciting for me.

[myimaginarywonderland]

A Daniel Ricciardo and Cyril Abiteboul fanfic because @cute-abiteboul inspired my by putting this idea in my head.

Mentions of swear words, slight NSFW and smut!

He groaned. What had he gotten himself into with those two idiots? Currently, he was watching Daniel reply with cow to beef in their challenge. Esteban was already pointing out how this could not count. Both of them started laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation. Esteban was giggling while Daniel was openly laughing his typical Daniel laugh.

Cyril couldn't help but smile. As much as he tried to deny it, he was also irresistible to the Aussies charm.

The Aussie that would be leaving them after this season to work with McLaren. Whenever he thought about that, he could feel his insides turning. Not only had they truly hoped on Daniel to build a future for them but they had also paid quiet a lot of money for that to happen. And the Aussie had just made all of their efforts in vain.

Though, he couldn't blame him. Their season was not going how they hoped it and the improvements they made were still not enough to be close to the top teams. And Daniel was a racer through and through who aimed to win. He always had, even when he was still at RedBull.

And he deserved it. As one of the greatest drivers he just wasn't able to have the luck other drivers had when they also found a team that was at their best.

As much as he had understood Daniel's decision and wasn't mad besides the big lose of money, whenever he was confronted with the man leaving something still made him feel weird.

Maybe he had just gotten used to the other man's shenanigans and ridiculous nature. He was brought out of his thoughts by a loud "done."

Both of his drivers made to get up and go to lunch, Esteban already leaving. Daniel meanwhile was staying back, looking like he was waiting for his team principle. Quickly Cyril hurried to follow him.

"You know, I am going to miss this."

He turned to the other man.

"What? Arguing with Esteban about beef?"

The bright laugh of the other made something in his insides turn.

"No, the atmosphere. Aurelie,  the interactions with all of the team."

"I am sure she would come with you to McLaren if you asked her."

"Can't I just take all of you guys? "

At the implication of also taking him, Cyrils heart made a stupid little jump.

"I am sure McLaren are going to welcome you with open arms. And they will probably be more fun than us anyway. "

"Oh yeah, the little kid will be a delight. But they just don't have some of the things that are here, you know?"

"I don't know what you mean."

And Cyril would never, since they had arrived at their table and topic was dropped as soon as Michael joined them.

"Well, looks like I am not going to get that tatoo right now. Still great work."

And with that, most of the debrief was dismissed.

He could hear the other team members chuckle, he even couldn't hide a smile himself at the thought of getting a tatoo because of a bit with Daniel Ricciardo.

When he turned around, Daniel was just about to leave with Micheal.

"Do you want to tell me what it would have been?

Daniel's eyes glinted and he turned to symbolize Michael to leave and that he would catch up to him.

The fellow Aussie just laughed and went away.

Daniel returned to him and suddenly he noticed how close his driver was. Not only that but they were alone and the door to the meeting room had been closed.

When had all of that happened?

Daniel's eyes were full of mischief which didn't promise anything good.

Hopefully it wasn't something totally ridiculous but with the other you never know.

"I could still get that podium, you know? The season's not done yet."

"That is true but don't you think you should prepare me? An old man like me might get a heart attack if it's something outlandish. "

Daniel's eyes glinted when he whispered directly into Cyrils ear "I don't think it's that outlandish. "

Cyril gulped. This was way too close for his comfort and something in the others voice implied nothing good.

"What is it than?"

"Shouldn't you wait for the podium to find out? Wouldn't want to spoil the fun."

"I don't mind fun being spoiled."

"Are you sure?"

Something at the question made him stop. This was weird, even on the Daniel Ricciardo scale.

But then again, it couldn't be too bad.

"Yes."

Grinning the Aussie now leaned down and whispered "I want to fuck my hot, charming former Australian driver. "

Cyril splutred. He felt his heart beat against his rib cage.

"You what?"

His voice was breaking.

"Oh come on Cyril. I wouldn't have had it publicly displayed. Just where I could see it."

While he said that, the Australian had a giant smirk on his face and somehow managed to pin Cyril against a table.

"Daniel, stop this mischief at once. That's too far, even for you."

"Is it though? I have eyes and I am not blind you know. Might even take you up on that offer after your not my boss anywhere. But then again, sex with my boss has always been a fantasy of mine."

Cyril could feel himself blushing really hard and it was not only because of the indignity of Daniel's words.

"I do not want to fuck you and as your boss, I am telling you to put a stop to this nonsense right now."

An almost predatory look crossed Daniel's face when one of his hands sneaked to the front of Cyrils chest and felt the other ones fast heart beat.

"Are you sure about that?"

See, if Cyril had been a boss of a top team and a reputation to uphold, he would have fled the situation and had a firm talk with Daniel afterwards as this was no appropriate behaviour for an employee.

But Cyril was just a man that was currently confronted by the person who made caused a lot of conflicting feelings for him. So, the rational part of his brain was turned of for a bit which was why he said "Daniel Ricciardo stop this or I will do something we will but regret later."

"Who says we will regret it?"

With the last bit of restraint gone, Cyril leaned slightly into the other's touch which was apparently enough for Daniel whose hands quickly travelled to his hips and pulled him flush against the other.

In an instant he could feel the other ones lips against his and felt a fire cursing through his body.

"Well, do you still need to get that tatoo for that?" He could feel the other one's laugh against his lips and even he couldn't hide his smile.

Yeah,he also was a victim of the Aussies charm but that wasn't so bad now, was it?

[luckjustkissedyouhello]

ISAIP Fic Teaser - Love So Sterng I: Pound Puppy Eyes

I’m working on a fanfic. i’ve been working on it forever....since January. It’s easily the longest fanfic I’ve every written, and clocks in at ~42,000 works. AND I’ve finished it. Currently, @brownwithafrown is very kindly betaing it. I discovered, on reaching the ending, that the fic will be a series. I’m so proud of finishing that i thought i’d post the the opening scene tonight. 

Warnings (for the fic in general, not just the opening scene): Graphic violence. Foul language. More violence (in this scene).  Blood. Vomit. Mentions of past (physical) child abuse and neglect, as well as mentions/discussions of past childhood sexual abuse (aka: Uncle Jack). Self harm. Prescription drug misuse. Anxiety/Panic Attacks. Non-canon Character Death.  [I think that’s all - am I missing any @brownwithafrown?]

This scene especially is heavy on the violence/whumping of Charlie and Mac. The endgame is CharMac, though this fanfic doesn’t go there. No other pairings in this fic, 

Title: Love So Sterng I: Pound Puppy Eyes

Summary:  One of Frank’s bad choices has dire repercussions for two members of The Gang. Can they (and their friendships) survive the aftermath?

Mac doesn't register what he's hearing, at first. 

He's down in the basement, rearranging  the boxes of extra booze. Charlie complained he piled them too high. There was a step stool right there, for that very reason, but Charlie said he didn't like climbing on things, (not if he wasn't blitzed out of his head on inhalants and climbing a leaning tower of boxes to freedom via an air vent, apparently). And when Dee went down to get rum, she just squawked that the boxes were too heavy and that she was dizzy from basement fumes. Dumb bitch. So now Mac is pulling down the boxes, taking out four bottles per box so that there's only eight rather than twelve in the box, and stacking the boxes so they're chest height, no higher.

It's not his fault that he didn't know his own strength anymore (not that anyone gives a shit how hard he worked to look good and keep them safe with his hot new rockin' bod) and so he made the boxes too heavy. He hated doing inventory anyway because of this. Everyone had an opinion, but no one did the work (not that he didn't try to slide out of it himself). Also, it's not his fault that he couldn't find any more boxes. So now there's a lot of liquor bottles all around him on the floor. Brown liquor, clear liquor, whatever the hell Jägermeister  is… And Mac may be debating snagging a few bottles for his and Dennis's place. It's not really stealing, if he's taking something he'd just drink in the bar without paying, right?

He has to admit, it's a decent workout, lifting boxes and moving things around, which is why he put on his workout mix a little while ago. The music tells his body to go more faster. So his ear buds are in, not even at maximum volume, but it still takes a while for him to realize that there is an awful lot of stomping and crashing going on upstairs for a bar that is closed. Charlie is up there cleaning while Mac moves the stock around. They closed early, it was only eleven on a Tuesday, but Dee was out on a 'date' (yeah, right) and Charlie was bummed because he hadn't seen Frank in days, and Mac was bummed because Dennis was in North Dakota again, visiting D/BJ ('don't call him Dennis-slash-Brian Junior' Dennis had shouted at him, but Mac thought the nickname was great and wanted to keep it  - at least until the rest of the gang heard it - they had rules about this, banning of nicknames was not allowed without the nicknamer and nicknamed present, as well as at least one other member of the gang). So they decided to have a movie night to keep Charlie's spirits up. Which was why he is thinking about what liquor to snag – whiskey was winning out because Charlie tended to get sad as shit when he drank vodka straight and if Mac was honest with himself, Jägermeister made him kind of violent (the last time he had drank nothing but Jäger and Redbull, he put his hand through the mirror in the apartment's bathroom)  when he accidentally sets a box on the earbuds cord and doesn't realize until the little earbud is ripped out of his right ear as he turns to grab the next box.  

Just in time to hear a loud thud and Charlie scream. Mac's guts turn to ice. Because he knows each and every one of Charlie's screams, from frustrated to happy, sad to hungry, stoned to confessing love, (Charlie screams a lot) and that one was a rare one. That was the sound of pain. Charlie says something, Mac can just pick up on the highest sounds through the floor, and then there's another, softer thud than the one before.

Silence. Something is not right. Mac knows it in his bones. He runs for the stairs, he can't leave Charlie of all people alone up there with a threat, Charlie wasn't good in situations like this, didn't know how to ever just shut up and follow instructions, listening to the robber's words rather than getting distracted by like the light reflecting in a puddle or whatever else caught his eye – Mac once watched Charlie stare at the point of a mugger's knife for, like, three whole minutes before getting his wallet out while Mac and the crackhead *both* screamed at him fork over his cash. Which was only two dollars, in nickels, for some odd reason. Charlie was lucky Mac was with him and he didn't get knifed then, 'cause Mac was more smart and took Charlie's arm and ran as the mugger stared at his fistful of silvery metal and got this frustrated I'm gonna stab you anyway look on his face.

And. Yeah. No one is supposed to hurt Charlie. Not when Mac is around. He had made that promise to himself, and out loud to Charlie when they were like eight and Charlie had crawled through his bedroom window (scaring the shit out of Mac, who didn't know Charlie could climb up the side of his house like Spiderman!), sobbing and refusing to say why. Eight year old Mac was Ronnie then, and he held on to his friend and promised that he'd protect him, which just made Charlie cry harder. Mac had never forgotten that promise, and in school he caught more than one beating that was meant for the other man (and okay, sometimes Charlie got his ass kicked on Mac's behalf, but those weren't Mac's fault!), but Mac had made a promise to his oldest friend that day nearly forty years ago. He isn't going to break that now!

Charlie's rat bashing stick is leaning against the wall by the basement door. Without any other weapon, Mac decides it is better than nothing. Part of him is tempted to hide down in the basement and not come out. If it was anyone else up there alone, maybe he'd do that. But there's another thud, and now he can hear through the basement door the other guy's deep voice - fuck he's probably big - and Charlie's higher one shouting something, but he can't figure out what the fuck either of them are saying.

Charlie shouts again in pain, and that gets Mac moving again. It's Charlie. He can't leave him. Even if Mac is so scared his guts are frozen ice, he knows he has to see what's going on. He edges into the keg room, glad the door is open into the bar and he can sneak over to the doorway. What he sees makes him want to turn tail and hide, but also go over and beat the man's brains in with his bare fists.

Charlie is curled up fetal on the floor, on arm around his middle and the other up over his head, and Mac is pretty sure there's blood on Charlie's face, but he can't really see at the angle he's at. The dude, who is about Mac's height but looks much less beefy, but he's got a gun pointed at Charlie, and that's scarier than if Arnold himself was in the room. Mac heart is thudding so hard in his throat as he watches that he's afraid they both will hear it thudding and give him away, but they don't. The man just boots Charlie in the face, twice in rapid succession, boom boom without giving Charlie a chance to recover or even get his hands up to protect himself and says calmly: "I know you know where Frank is," while Charlie groans in pain, blood leaking between his fingers as he cups his hand to his smashed and bleeding nose.

"I don't!" Charlie answers, his voice is muffled by the hand he's got to his face, but it makes something twist in Mac's chest to hear Charlie sounding desperate and clogged with blood.

The man growls, actually growls and Charlie tries to shrink away, but he's got a dazed look on his face like he's not all there anymore and Mac can't blame him. Being kicked in the face is disorientating. The man reaches down and wraps his free hand in Charlie's hair and pulls up - Charlie cries out and has to grip the man's arm to keep from losing hair. The man shakes his fist and jerks Charlie's head around (wow, Mac's never seen an adult do that to another adult, though his father was fond of doing that to him when he was being a little bitch that didn't listen good). The man lets go of his hair and looks at the sleeve of the gray blazer he's wearing, marked by the blood that was on Charlie's hand.  

Charlie's eyes go wide and he starts to raise his hands up, but the stranger is quicker. Mac watches it happen in what feels like slow-motion, helpless to stop it, the man swinging the gun in his hand in a wide, punishing arch that ends with a crack against Charlie's left cheekbone and Charlie starts to fall to the side, but the man grabs Charlie's shirt collar in his fist to keep Charlie upright and hits Charlie in the face with the gun twice more so quick Charlie doesn't get a chance to brace himself between blows. The bastard isn't giving Mac a chance to step in, he's got the gun too close to Charlie for Mac to try and stop him - he can't take the risk that the man will shoot Charlie before he will get to them.

Seeing the man just whale on Charlie makes Mac angry, his hand tightens on the Rat Stick as he watches. He prays as he does because he can't *do fucking anything*, just watch as the man lets go of Charlie's shirt and Charlie fucking crumples to the ground with a moan of pain. Mac fucking prays more in those moments than he has in the last year, begging God or Jesus or like, Saint Jude (the patron saint of lost causes and therefore pretty much the one that probably gives a shit about guys like Mac and Charlie) to step in and not let Charlie get shot. Mac isn't sure what he'll do if Charlie were to die.

Charlie doesn't get shot. Instead, he fucking *writhes* on the floor, banging his right fist into the ground, hard, muttering 'fuck, fuck, fuck!' under his breath. Like that can distract from the pain that his face must be in. Mac hates himself for just watching, but he knows, he *knows* he only has one chance to surprise the bastard with the gun and get Charlie (and him) out of this alive.              

The bastard points the gun at Charlie. "Tell me where Frank is and I won't shoot you in your fucking face."

"I don't know where he is," Charlie says, his voice is still desperate, that sad desperate of someone who knows that they won't be believed, even though he's telling the truth.

The asshole growls again, and steps towards Charlie, the gun pointed at the floor as he raises his foot to kick Charlie again. And Mac decides that's it. Here's his chance. He needs to step in now, while the gun is pointed at the floor rather than Charlie. Mac finds that despite how much he hates seeing Charlie hurt, how much he hates this guy for hurting Charlie, a large part of him wants to be a coward and hang back, rush for the safety of the basement and hide there. But he can't do that. Can't leave Charlie to get beat up more, or worse.

Mac raises the bat and runs at the bastard. The guy turns to him just as Mac swings the bat. The spiked bat makes solid contact with the prick's head, Mac feels the shock of it connecting go down his arms (it's like driving a speeding car into a brick wall) and then Mac is sitting on his ass, having fallen for a reason he can't quite figure out for a long, dazed moment.

The guy hits the ground, the bat sticking to him, a spike shoved into his right eye, another driven in to his cheek. Mac stares at him, because the guy isn't moving, not even to breathe, and Mac still isn't sure why he's sitting down, except that *he* can't breathe and something catches his eye, he looks away from the not moving man and looks down at himself, because the something that caught his eye was blood, bright red and on his chest and it's his blood, and...and....there was a bang of the gun going off, wasn't there?

+++

end of teaser.

Thanks for reading! 

[vro0m]

vro0m’s rewatch - 70/288

2010 Brazilian GP

Recap + GIFs !

Oh wow. Jenson was the victim of an armed attack while leaving the circuit the day before the race. Thankfully everybody is okay. 6-7 guys with batons and guns and even a machine gun. The driver did an amazing job, says Jenson. He hopes they were just unlucky and he wasn't targeted.

We get complicated maths about the WDC. Alonso is the only one who could get the title in Brazil. If he wins the race he wins the title unless Webber finishes in the top 4. Look I'm not gonna write all of that down it's too complicated.

Quali report : the track was still wet but it had stopped raining. The Force Indias ruined each other's laps by getting in their own way. Rosberg was held up by Buemi. Jenson had issues with his brakes and overheating tyres. He's 11th. Alonso is 5th. Lewis couldn't do better than 4th. Webber is 3rd. Seb is 2nd. Somehow Hulkenberg got pole in his Williams?! That's unexpected!

We get some Lewis content. They talk again about how he wanted to go racing in Japan while everybody else said it was too wet. Jake asks if it has something to do with the fact that at the moment he has to be the one who's pushing. Lewis says probably.

He talks about how in the old days drivers would drive in all sorts of conditions in cars that weren't that safe but that was what was exciting. (Lol thank god he got wiser since then, cause this is bs.) He says that if you take away all elements of danger in Formula 1 it would be no fun and that it wasn't that dangerous with the rain.

Jake says it's pretty rare for someone who's not driving the fastest car to win the title. How is it to be the one fighting to beat to quicker teams? He says it’s a team effort. The perfect package is : the fastest car, the most reliable, and the best drivers, and he says no one’s had that. Everybody made mistakes, everybody had reliability problems. But sometimes you can at least get one of those, Redbull has the fastest cars.

He’s talked with Seb and told him his car is on rails. Seb said not exactly. But Lewis says “It’s on rails.”

So yeah they don't have the fastest car but this year everybody’s made mistakes. He says in his opinion it’s worse to be in the lead and having to defend than to be in his position and attacking. He finds it horrible. "I don't like it." Of course, he'd rather be closer in chasing, but it's nicer being chasing for 5-10 points in the last race than leading, because when you're in the lead you have everything to lose and nothing to gain (I mean, what you have the gain is the fucking title but I get what he’s saying.) Jake asks if he looks to Fernando in his Ferrari for any chink in his armour for inspiration. Lewis laughs : he doesn't need inspiration.

"I've always had... a certain effect on Fernando, I think…" They laugh.

Jake asks “Why is that, do you think?”

"I've no idea. No idea." He smiles mischievously. He says when they see each other in their mirrors there's this natural competitiveness that switches on, and it might just be Alonso’s weakness.

Formation lap.

And they're racing!

Lewis got overtaken by Webber. Seb overtook Hulkenberg. Webber overtakes Hulkenberg. You can't do shit against these Redbulls. Alonso is racing Lewis. Seb is already making a gap. Alonso is wheel to wheel with Lewis but Lewis has the inside, he stays ahead but it's not gonna last. The Ferrari is quicker. Yep. A few corners later he goes wide and Alonso is through. Behind him, Barrichello is working on Kubica. Jenson is up in 9th. Hulkenberg is defending fiercely against Alonso who's losing serious time on the Redbulls. He finally gets through and now it's Lewis being held up. The McLarens are struggling to get heat in their soft tyres. There's a queue behind Hulkenberg. Jenson pits on lap 12. Massa pits twice for some reason. Lewis can't seem to pass Hulkenberg. Hulkenberg pits and Lewis is finally free. We're 20 laps in.

Lewis pits. He's out in 6th, ahead of Jenson, who's the reason why they pitted him when they did : he overtook Sutil and started to seriously pick up the pace. Alonso pits and then Seb. Webber is now in the lead but he has yet to stop. Lewis overtakes Kobayashi. He's 5th.

Lewis complains of his straight line speed but the team says his f-duct works fine and he's the fastest in the latest sector.

Lewis pushed too much earlier in the race and his tyres are not doing well. There's still 20 laps to go. Liuzzi crashed! It's a Safety Car. Lewis pits. He has to finish 4th or better to stay in the running for the WDC. This might be the end of it. He's 5th. Here we go again. Lewis is still shown to be 4th? Yeah he's 4th somehow? He now has fresher tyres than Alonso in front. Buemi and Massa touch and Massa is wide. He loses a lot of places.

And it's the end of the race!

Seb wins, followed by Webber and Alonso. Redbull win their first wcc. Lewis is 4th, he's still in the running for the WDC.

Lee tells Lewis the good news is he can still win the WDC, but it seems like it wasn't a good day for him in the car when listening to the team radios. Lewis doesn't answer right away, he glances sideway to the McLaren PR person. "There's not really too much to say," he answers. Tough race, good result generally. But... He sighs.

The car was nowhere, he had no grip. He's quite lucky to have finished where he's finished. The guys did a great job throughout the weekend though and onto the next race, they have nothing to lose. As always they'll just keep pushing. The car didn't feel like it did in practice, he thought the F-duct wasn't working because he was struggling to overtake on straight lines, Alonso shot past him. But they did a great job with the strategy, it's just you can't win with a car that's not fast enough. Lee says that going to Abu Dhabi with still a mathematical chance of being world champion must be positive still? He smiles sadly.

They weren't quick enough here, they won't be quick enough in Abu Dhabi. Miracles happened so he’ll keep driving like he does, he won't give up, but you can tell he doesn't believe in it at all.

[this-book-has-been-loved]

Of Robots and Rocketships: Chapter 2

For @platonicvldweek​ day 2: Lion / Lamb

Chapter 1

Read it on Ao3 | Read it on FFN

It was Katie who texted first.

Two days after the competition (two days of Hunk not wanting to be the first one to say anything cuz would that be seen as too clingy??) his phone went off.

Katie: hey! how’ve you been? dad said he was sorry he missed you

A thousand thoughts were running through his head. He stared at the message for a long time, mentally dissecting it, trying to think of how best to respond.

The last part especially stuck out to him, since it implied two very important things: firstly, that Katie (and Matt?) had told their dad about him--and secondly, that Dr Holt actually wanted to meet him.

Hunk took a deep breath, quelling his thoughts, before starting to type out a response.

Hunk: Hi! I’ve been pretty good, you? And I’m sorry your dad couldn’t make it too; maybe next time?

Okay. That was good, right? Open, friendly, not too eager—

He was taking this too seriously.

He flopped over backwards onto his bed with a groan. Why was this so hard?

Katie: unfortunately ‘next time’ isnt until next year unless youre going to robocup

Hunk: I don’t think so :/

Katie: boo

They went on like that a little longer, making small talk about the little things, the things they already knew about each other. After about half an hour, the conversation dwindled to a stop. And it was days before it was picked up again.

It started that way at first: brief conversations, making general small talk, testing the waters. As the months went by, they got more and more comfortable with each other; by the time winter melted into spring came around, they were texting nearly every day, about the smallest things.

Katie: what about ur dad?

Hunk: Oh actually I don’t have one

Katie: oh shoot im sorry

Hunk: No that’s not what I meant XD I don’t have a dad cuz I have two moms

Katie: OH

“So who’s Katie?”

Hunk glanced up at his mom in surprise. “What?”

She gestured towards his phone, which was sitting on the table a foot away from him while he read. “You got a text message, sweetie.”

Hunk lunged for his phone, opening the message in a rush.

Katie: random question: star wars or star trek?

“It’s that girl he met at the competition back in Flagstaff,” Mama called from the next room.

“Phoenix,” Hunk corrected offhandedly. “Flagstaff is where her school was from.”

Hunk: Aw come on, you can’t make me choose!

Katie: help me win an argument against my brother

Katie: help me obi wan kenobi youre my only hope

“Oh, you made a friend?” Mom continued. “That’s great! What’s she like?”

“Um,” Hunk mumbled, still distracted. “Well, she likes peanut butter. And peanut butter cookies? But not peanuts, she says they’re too dry.”

Hunk: I’m sorry Katie, I’m going to have to go with Star Trek. The tribbles episode owns my soul

Katie: I CANT BELIEVE THIS

“Oh!” Hunk added with a smile, setting his phone down and giving his mom a starry-eyed look. “And you’ll never guess who her dad is!”

Hunk: So...what’s up?

Katie: i am eating peanut butter by the spoonful and i couldnt be happier

Hunk: Sounds like a day well spent :P

Mid-February, Katie was in class, her phone in her lap hidden under her desk. She and Hunk only had an hour difference in time zones, but that still lead to schedule conflicts. Hunk had texted her when he got out for lunch; Katie, and hour later, was already back in class after her own lunch break.

But that didn’t stop her from continuing the conversation.

(It’s not like Mr Hedrick was teaching anything new, anyways.)

Hunk: I’ve actually been looking into the garrison application process. I’ve been wanting to go there for ages and I’ll finally be old enough this fall

Katie: !!!!!!!!!

Katie: DUDE YOU TOTALLY SHOULD

Hunk: I want to!! But the application is pretty intensive

Katie: aw come on i know you can do it

Hunk: Thanks ^_^

Hunk: What about you, are you you applying?

Katie: still too young *eyeroll* its still a few more years till i turn 16

Hunk: What??

Katie: dude im like 12

Katie: i turn 13 in april

It was a couple minutes before he responded, and Katie bit her tongue to keep herself from laughing out loud in the middle of class.

Hunk: But you’re in high school?

Hunk: I’ll be honest here, I thought we were the same age O.O

Katie: yeah i skipped 7th and 8th grade

Hunk: :O

Hunk: You’re like a little child genius or something

She stifled another laugh with a cough. She glanced up to make sure that the teacher hadn’t looked over, then went right back to her phone.

Katie: yeah thats what they told me

Katie: probably explains why this class is so fucking boring

Hunk: LANGUAGE

Hunk: Wait are you in class right now??

Katie: ....quite possibly

Hunk: Get off your phone, young lady, and pay attention!!

Katie: but i already know all thiiissssss

Hunk: Respect your elders

Katie: booooooo

Hunk: (•̀o•́)ง

Katie: omg you nerd

Katie: fiiiiine

Hunk: I’ll talk to you once you get home from school ^_^ ♥

She smiled down at her phone screen before closing out of the messages app. Part of her was tempted to just pull up something else—a book, or the web browser—but she stopped herself with a sigh. She turned off the phone, stuffing it into her back pocket.

Later.

Hunk: I just thought you were really short, I didn’t realize you were a BABY

Katie: i hate u

The Garrison application process was even more daunting when he was actually filling it out. In the past, when he would look it up online to mentally prepare himself for the day when he’d finally get to fill it out, it all seemed so easy.

But now, he was starting to think he was biting off more than he could chew.

Between the GPA requirements, the essay, the mechanical skills project, the letters of recommendation, the other essay, the entrance exam, the preliminary engineering classes—

It was a lot.

And it was especially a lot when he had to juggle all that in addition to his regular schoolwork. Hunk glared at the pre-calc textbook open on his desk until the numbers all swam together.

He groaned, slamming the book shut and leaning back in his chair.

His phone vibrated, and he reached for it blindly.

Katie: maybe a rover-type probe? like what you guys did for the comp. that was pretty good

Hunk let out a long slow exhale. The physical project was causing him the most trouble at the moment, having to prove his engineering prowess by building something all on his own. It was arguably the most important part of the application, and Hunk had no clue what to do for it.

Hunk: Yeah but if I’m going to get into the garrison then my project needs to be more than just GOOD

Katie: how about a robotic turtle

Hunk: ...why?

Katie: why not

Hunk: I can probably think of a few reasons

Katie: turtles are cool bro

Hunk: Fair enough

A weary smile had managed to break through his look of frustration. Hunk glanced back at the pre-calc book, then sighed again as he slowly opened it back up.

One thing at a time.

Katie: bro u should go to bed its 1am

Hunk: Which means it’s 2am for you, right?

Katie: yeaahhh but i drank coffee mixed with redbull a couple hours ago im good

Hunk: KATIE NO

Matt and Sam made a point to come home on the weekends, and it was an occasion that Katie relished in.

She spent her days in Matt’s room, lying on his bed and keeping him company while he worked at his desk. She had her phone open to the messages app, idly relaying her conversation with Hunk to her brother.

“Yeah, Hunk has been working on his application for the Garrison.”

“Really?” Matt asked, spinning in his office chair. “That’s awesome!”

“Yeah, he’s going in for engineering,” she continued. “I’m really excited for him.”

“Does he need a letter of rec?”

“Um, lemme ask,” she replied, already typing.

Katie: matt wants to know if u need a letter of rec

It was a bit before he responded, and she watched the typing bubble appear, then disappear, then appear again. She smirked.

Hunk: Oh my god

Hunk: We only met once, does he know me well enough?

Katie rolled her eyes, reading the message out loud to Matt.

“Psh, ‘course I do,” Matt said flippantly. “I got to see his work back at the competition, and that’s the most important part, if I’m being honest.”

Katie: dude. you guys talked for ages about engineering crap

Hunk: Oh gosh. I don’t want to inconvenience him at all.

“He says he doesn’t want to inconvenience you.”

Matt let out a long groan. “Oh come on, I’m already writing them for Alec and Luca, what’s one more? I like Hunk.” He paused, thinking. “Here, ya know what, give me the phone.” He grabbed the phone from Katie’s hands without waiting for her response.

“Hey,” she protested, but Matt merely shushed her and continued to type away.

“There,” Matt said with a smirk as he hit send. A minute later, the phone vibrated, and Matt cackled, already typing a response.

“What did you say?!” Katie demanded, lunging for the phone.

Matt easily evaded her reach. “You’ll see,” he said cryptically. “But I think I’ve gotten through to him.”

When the phone went off again, Matt let out a cheer. “Alright,” he said triumphantly, tossing the phone back to Katie. “We are a go!”

Hunk: Happy birthday!!! (＾▽＾)

Katie: im officially a teenager bitch!!

Hunk: LANGUAGE!

Hunk: Jeez Katie you’re a little baby, you shouldn’t be saying stuff like that, you’re practically an infant!!

Katie: fuck

Hunk: /_(0{}0)_\

It was the middle of dinner when her phone went off.

“Katie,” her mom scolded as the girl grabbed at her phone and opened the message.

Katie ignored her, waving her hand impatiently. “Shh, it’s important!”

“Katherine, what could possibly—”

Colleen was interrupted by Katie’s sudden squeak of excitement. “He got in!!!” she squealed.

“Hunk?” Matt asked, beaming. “That’s great!”

Across the table, Sam’s eyes had lit up. “Fantastic!” he proclaimed. “Tell him congratulations for me,” he said. “I look forward to working with him.”

“Careful,” Katie warned, already typing. “You’re gonna break him.”

Katie: dad says hes looking forward to working with you. he and matt wish you congratulations

Hunk: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hunk: Thank you!!!!!!!! ＼(≧▽≦)／

Katie: hunk.exe has stopped working

It was summer when the Galaxy Garrison officially announced the Kerberos mission, naming the daring crew of astronauts who’d be going on the shuttle, and setting a predicted launch date in September.

The announcement made every headline imaginable, national and international news, NASA, a blurb in Katie’s high school’s newsletter, and just about every online publication in existence.

Katie was doing her homework at time, her phone stashed at the bottom of her backpack. With her headphones in, she didn’t hear it vibrating, too engrossed in her chemistry work.

She had ten new messages by the time she closed her textbook and fished out her phone.

Hunk: DUDE!!!!!

Hunk: I JUST SAW THE NEWS

Hunk: KERBEROS??? THAT’S SO COOL!!!

Hunk: THIS IS SO COOL

Hunk: That’s literally BILLIONS OF MILES AWAY

Hunk: And IT’S A MANNED MISSION

Hunk: THE FARTHEST MANNED MISSION FROM EARTH

Hunk: THIS IS HISTORY IN THE MAKING OH MY GOD

Hunk: I CAN’T BELIEVE YOUR DAD AND YOUR BROTHER ARE GOING TO PLUTO THIS IS SO COOL

Hunk: Sorry for spamming I’m just REALLY EXCITED

She laughed, carrying her phone and her laptop onto her bed where she could stretch out more comfortably. She flopped over onto her back, holding the phone above her face.

Katie: oh did that get announced today???

Katie: theyve been planning for months im so jealous

Hunk: Aaaaaaa this is all so exciting!

Hunk: I’m just

Hunk: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Katie: same

Katie: kerberos must be so cool

Katie: hunk lets go to outer space

Hunk: Let’s do it

Garrison cadet move-in day was in mid-August.

She got his room assignment from her dad. He’d been more than happy to check the student records for her and send her a quick message with the hall name, floor, and room number.

Katie, not even 13-and-a-half, much too young to be one of the students moving in today, walked confidently down the halls, weaving in and out of parents and students.

Presently, she heard his voice up ahead, coming out of one of the many open door. An excited grin spreading across her face, she ran the last few yards to his room. Bracing her hands on the doorframe, she stuck her head into the room, shouting, “Surprise!”

Inside the room, Hunk yelped as he whirled around in shock. As soon as he caught sight of her, his guard dropped and he broke into a smile. “Katie!” He tackled her in a bear hug, lifting her off the ground.

Katie laughed. “It’s so good to see you again!”

“What are you doing here? Wait, no, stupid question.”

She giggled. “I came in with Dad and Matt. They went to do professional officey things, like boring adult paperwork or whatever.”

“Ah, the worst part of adulthood,” Hunk said, nodding sagely. “Don’t worry, Katie, you’ll understand when you’re older.”

She elbowed him. “Shut up.”

He laughed for a moment, and Katie realized that he wasn’t the only one in the room. Standing bemusedly by the closet was a woman who looked so much like Hunk she could only be his mother. She had a gentle smile on her face as she watched the two of them.

Hunk followed Katie’s gaze, and his eyes widened. “Oh, this is my mom,” he said, gesturing to the woman. “Or, well, you know. One of them.”

“Hi,” Katie said, holding out her hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Mrs Garrett.”

“Please, call me Lani,” the woman said, shaking Katie’s hand. “It’s lovely to finally meet you, Katie. Hunk has told me so much about you.”

“Good things, I hope,” Katie said, casting a dry glance at Hunk. He stuck his tongue out at her, and she stuck out hers at him.

“Only the best,” Lani reassured her with a wink.

“So how have you been?” Hunk asked. “It’s so good to see you! We should, like, hang out at some point and catch up.”

“Oh!” Katie interjected. “Mom told me to invite you guys over for dinner,” she added.

Hunk gasped, and Katie could have sworn she saw stars in his eyes. “Seriously?”

“Yes, seriously,” she echoed. “Please?”

“Yes! Absolutely!” Hunk cried. He looked over to his mom. “Right? That’s okay?”

Lani smiled at her son widely. “Of course, sweetie. I’ll go find Kiana.” She squeezed Katie on the shoulder as she walked past her to head out of the room.

“Dinner,” Hunk breathed. “With Doctor Samuel Holt.”

She snorted. “I promise you, he’s a normal person. Just kind of a nerd. But hey, I mean, so are you.”

He rolled his eyes. “Thanks, Katie.”

Hunk: The Kerberos launch is only a couple weeks away, omg

Katie: i knowww im so jealous

Katie: i might just stowaway on the shuttle tbh

Hunk: That sounds potentially life-threatening, please do not

Hunk watched the Kerberos launch live on TV.

They’d only allowed family to watch from the ground, and though Katie had offered to try to sneak him in, he’d declined. Instead, he watched it on the massive projection screen that the Garrison had set up for students.

In some of the camera shots, he could make out the tiny purple-clad figure of Katie on the observation deck, standing beside her mother.

“This truly is a momentous day in human history,” the newscaster was saying. “If successful, the Kerberos Mission will mark the farthest that anyone has traveled from Earth. We’re making history here, folks.”

The launch was glorious. With a blast of fire and a cloud of smoke, the shuttle took off, the cameras trained on it all the way out of the atmosphere, until it was just a tiny speck against the blue of the sky. The crowd gathered in the Garrison commons room let out a cheer. Hunk’s roommate, an aspiring pilot named Lance, propped his elbow on Hunk’s shoulder.

“That’s gonna be us someday,” Lance told him with surprising conviction. “Seeing the stars, traveling to worlds never before seen.”

Hunk smiled. “I can’t wait.”

Hunk: Oh my god

Hunk: Katie I’m so sorry oh my god

Hunk: Are you okay?

Hunk: Sorry, stupid question

Hunk: Can I do anything to help?

Hunk: Katie?

✓ Read 11:17 PM