#to hide less behind 'omg all mothers act like that'

[marcepanowapani]

.

[zoeysdamn]

Bloodied petals | Xavier Thorpe x reader | Part.5

Summary: Heartbroken by Xavier’s rejection, you know that your days are numbered now. Enid has your back as a dutiful roommate and manages to convince you to go to the Rave’n – even if it’s the last place where you want to be. Maybe some unexpected bonding time with Bianca cannot be that bad, before some terrible news is delivered.

Warnings: angst™, mentions of blood, swearing, underage drinking, description of a panic attack. English isn’t my mother tongue.

A/N: I know I’ve promised some fluff in this chapter buuuutttt this is already so long like omg so, sorry guys you’ll have to wait for the next one :DD

[Masterlist] [Part.1] [Part.2] [Part.3] [Part.4]

It was a weird feeling to know that you were going to die soon. In the two days following Xavier’s rejection, you had basically locked yourself in your room, a basin always at hand’s reach. You didn’t even try to hide it anymore when Wednesday was around, besides you were kind of busy throwing up every single flower and petal to care about her occasional pitiful looks. She wasn’t particularly having remorses, but the knowledge that her roommate was down a dreadful path didn’t please her either. You had been kind to her without being too nosy, so she tolerated you. But you couldn’t care less about Wednesday Addams’ second thoughts at the moment. All of your chest and throat felt like a burning fire most of the time and it felt like the whole Nevermore glasshouse was growing in your lungs. 

In an attempt to try to delay the growth of the plants a little, you had concocted a potion you drank three times a day. There was no cure for Hanahaki disease, but it was still plants. So you had made a potion that would basically act like a weed killer. The taste was horrendous and it burned your throat almost as much as the flowers themselves, but at least it seemed to slow down their growth a little. It means that you still could pretend it was just the flu when you coughed during class and managed to hide away the flowers, but that you were curled up on your bed or over the toilets for the rest of the time. 

The tricky part was to hide it from Enid. You loved your other roommate, but she was so sweet and excited about the upcoming ball, you didn’t have the heart to tell her what was really going on. She wouldn’t be able to get it out of her mind and you didn’t want to burden her with it. You always managed to flee the room just in time when she was there and you felt the coughs starting to get stronger. Fortunately, she still didn’t notice anything. Although, you knew that at some point you would have to disclose the truth to her. So you had decided to tell everything to Enid after the Rave’n and the parents' weekend following. She surely had enough on her plate for the time being. Like, convincing Wednesday to go shopping for the upcoming ball. 

“C’mon, it’ll be a fun outing between roomies!” she said excitedly while Wednesday kept her unfazed expression. 

“I’d rather burn my own eyes with acid rather than mingle with teenagers ready to fight over a stupid piece of fabric.” 

From your bed, you rolled your eyes behind the book you were reading. On any other day, you would have chuckled at Wednesday’s antics, but the harsh tone she always used to answer Enid's kind ideas was starting to get on your nerves. Couldn’t she just say a plain no? 

Luckily, Enid had an optimistic personality, “Come ooooon, just one little shopping session between roomies, please please pleeaseee! I bet even Y/N thinks it’s a good idea, right Y/N?”

The sudden mention of your name in the discussion made you jump a little and you looked up from the pages. Enid looked at you expectedly, a large smile on her face. 

“I’m not going to the Rave’n,” you said, trying to keep your voice steady. You wouldn’t give Wednesday the satisfaction of seeing you cry and an occasion to ramble again about how weak your feelings made you. This made Enid gasp. 

“What! Why?” 

“Don’t have a date, and don’t want to go,” you simply mumbled, not without giving a glance at the pigtailed girl. It wasn’t entirely her fault, you couldn’t manipulate Xavier’s feelings for you; still, you couldn’t help but feel bitter. 

Enid looked between the two of you and made a small “oh” in understanding. “But- but you don’t need a date to go!” she tried to reassure you, changing the subject quickly. “You can go on your own! Independent women don’t need a man to do what they want, right?”

You snickered at this, “Playing the feminist card won’t work this time Enid. I don’t want to go to have the whole school whispering at how pathetic I look on my own.”

Both of your roommates felt kind of sorry for you at that moment. Of course not, in the same way, Wednesday was more bored of this whole ordeal and was slightly saddened by the fact an acceptable roommate was turning bitter. It wasn’t a pretty colour on you and she might have lost a valuable ally. 

“Come on Y/N,” pleaded Enid again, “you don’t look so good these days, some fresh air could be good for you!” 

For a moment you felt the tip of your tongue burning with a witty comeback, something about her argument being not really convincing, but you retained yourself. Then you let out a long sigh. “Fine,” you conceded because it was hard to resist Enid’s pleading eyes, “but only because you need a fashion chaperone and you said please.”

“Yes!” squealed Enid, clapping her hands, “it’ll be so fun! I’m gonna tell Miss T we’re all going to Jericho, see you at the entrance in 10 minutes!”

She waltzed out of the room, grabbing her pink jean jacket on the way and blessedly unaware of the tension she left behind. Ignoring the heavy look of Wednesday you got up from the bed and started to put your shoes on. 

“I didn’t know you wanted to go to that stupid ball,” said Wednesday. Were that undertones of guilt you heard in her voice? 

“I don’t,” you groaned, “I just wished…you know what, forget it you wouldn’t get it anyway.” 

“If it’s about Xavier being my date then no need to be so petty about this,” she said rolling her eyes, “I’m just using the occasion to watch him and find out if he’s the monster or not.”

You let out a bitter laugh, flabbergasted by her words. “Do you realize how much worse it is? You know what I feel for Xavier, and you’re inviting him to interrogate him? Holy fuck.”

“I’m trying to stop a monster here Y/N,” she deadpanned flatly. “There’s no need for bitter behaviour.” 

Exhaling loudly through your nostrils, you turned to her with a harsh glare. “I’m not jealous of you, Wednesday. The only thing that makes me mad is the fact that Xavier accepted to go with you barely a minute after I confessed to him.”

This time Wednesday’s eyebrows rose up high, probably not expecting that. She had thought that you were only jealous of her and the proximity that her invitation to Xavier might imply to a random mind. Teenagers and young adults were guided by their primal emotions after all, but you were shaking all of her certainties. 

“I’m just heartbroken really,” you sighed while putting on your jacket, tears once again ready to flow, “so drop it, I’m just going to humour Enid and clear my head.”

Just as you were about to close the room’s door, you heard Wednesday speak again, “I don’t know much about romantic feelings, but I think you’re rightfully upset. Thorpe is a fool.” 

That made you pause for a moment, “Yeah, I know,” you breathed out quietly. 

That was the closest of a nice thing Wednesday could tell you. 

Unsurprisingly, your gothic roommate abandoned the rest of your odd trio in front of the clothes store a few minutes later. She had to snoop around god-knows-where, so it was just Enid and you. The werewolf looked around, barely containing her excitement or her shopping spree. You only browsed through the racks mind-absently, not really looking at the clothes or listening to her happy banter. Which she noticed. 

“Sooo, what’s with the long face?” she asked innocently. “You’re not one to usually skip parties.”

“I’m just not feeling like going this time, nothing big,” you mumbled. You hoped that Enid would drop the subject. She didn’t. 

“Is this…about Wednesday?” she dared to ask, and offered you a sorry smile when you whipped your head at her. “Is this because she invited Xavier? I know you’re close to him and–”

“This is not about Wednesday,” you snapped at her, irritably. Why did people keep assuming you had the role of the jealous bitch? 

Enid’s slight jump made you sigh; you shouldn’t have snapped at her like that. “Look, it’s just…I’m tired, okay? Besides, this isn’t about Wednesday, it’s about Xavier.”

Your roommate’s face suddenly lit up and she gasped, “You’re jealous of Xavier?? You mean you and Wednesday–”

You frowned while letting out a surprised laugh, “What? No! If anything, she’s more your type than mine.”

Enid’s cheeks lit up slightly, “She’s not!” she defended herself fiercely – too much to be honest. You chuckled; you definitely had to tease her about this later. 

“Your type involves two kinds of people: love-stuck but dumb gorgons and mysterious unfazed goth girls,” you said with a roll of your eyes. 

“This- this- this isn’t about me, don’t try to escape the subject!” she sputtered, cheeks flaming red. “And wait a minute? Did you say that the problem was Xavier? Oh my god,” she beamed, “did you finally realize that you loved him? That’s so great!!” 

Your face darkened at that and you cast your eyes elsewhere to hide your shame, “Not really no,” you whispered. “He doesn’t love me back.” 

“What??” screamed Enid, loud enough for a few other customers to glare at your pair. You threw them a sorry look before giving Enid a disapproving stare. “What?” she repeated, whisper-shouting this time, “what do you mean he doesn’t love you? He totally does!”

“Well, turns out he doesn’t,” you said in a sad tone you couldn’t hold back. “I kissed him and…and he told me that he doesn’t love me back, end of the story.” 

She stood there, mouth agape in utter shock. At her frozen face, you only shrugged weakly like it was nothing. 

“What? But how? This can’t be, you guys are like the most likely future couple in the whole school!”

Tears burned your eyes and you tried so hard to not let them fall. “Well, since he agreed to go to the Rave’n with Wednesday less than five minutes after I told him…guess it’s pretty much obvious.”

“He did WHAT?” shouted Enid, earning a few angry glares once more. But she couldn’t care less, she was furious. “And you were there??”

You nodded weakly. “I heard them, yeah.”

“That FUCKER, you just kissed him and confess to him and he has the audacity to say yes to another girl’s invite? Argh!” she ranted, throwing her hand in the air ragefully. “The nerve of that piece of shit!” 

“Woah Enid Sinclair, you kiss your dad with that mouth?” you chuckled, slightly taken aback by the loss of her temper. 

“Yeah and I have every right, I’m fucking mad at him Y/N!” she fumed, angrily putting back a dress she had been holding for that time. “He acted like a dick and now you’re miserable!” 

“It’s nothing Enid,” you mumbled. 

She grabbed your hand over the rack with pleading eyes. “He broke your heart Y/N, this isn’t nothing.” 

You gulped slowly, a single tear sliding down your cheek. Even with trembling lips, you managed to articulate something, “It’ll pass eventually.” Squeezing her hand lightly, you tried to give her the most reassuring look you could put on. 

The sad wincing she let out was heartbreaking, “Oh girl…”

Whipping your tears you refocused on the clothes on the rack. 

“So,” you said more lightly, clearly trying to change the subject, “what do you want to wear? I think you’ll look terrific in feathers.” 

The bone-crushing hug she tugged you in surprised you, almost squeezing all air out of you. Enid had come around the rack so quickly you hadn’t even noticed her coming over to tackle you in a bear hug. 

“Woah, calm down wolfie,” you chuckled weakly, “what with the sudden burst of affection?” 

Her laugh was muffled by the way her face was buried in your shoulder, “Don’t act so surprised, you know this was coming. This is your roommate’s heartbreak mandatory hug.” 

You wanted to reply something, but honestly, the words were stuck in your throat. Tears prevented you from saying anything. So instead, you returned the hug, hands gripping tightly Enid’s back. It was warm, friendly and frankly, the kindest thing someone had ever done to you for the past few days. You let yourself sink into the hug, letting its warmth envelop you in much-needed affection. When a small sob rocked your body, you realized how much you had craved that. 

Slightly tugging away from the hug, Enid took both of your hands, “Look I know everything feels like shit right now, but let me help you with this okay? Come to the ball, it’ll lift your spirit a little. Just between us girls, in our best outfits, drinking cheap cocktails, and dancing to lame electro music until our feet bleed, it’ll be fun!” 

Her joyful tone made you smile. In a way, it might be the last party you would attend…the disease was already quite serious, and now that Xavier had rejected you, the chances of healing had simply vanished away. So if you had not much longer to live, why not have the more fun you could? Why not experience everything you could since it’ll soon be over? One last party before the dark no matter how your chest ached. 

“Fuck Xavier and his ungrateful ass,” continued Enid, “you’re gonna have fun and enjoy this ball like the queen you are, okay roomie? And don’t you dare turn this down because I–”

“I’ll come,” you cut her off.

“Because believe m– you what?”

“I will come to the Rave’n,” you repeated with a weak but honest smile. “Independent women don’t need anybody, right?”

She beamed at you as she realized that you quoted her and brought you into another bone-crushing hug. Her heartwarming reaction made you laugh; she was right, you could use the Rave’n to change your mind, even if it wouldn’t be so easy. But Enid had this strange power of convincing people to do what was best for them. Maybe she was the witch in your dorm after all. 

Spending the rest of the day snooping around the shop and digging to find perfect outfits had the merit to alleviate your pain and forget about the flowers a little. This was all you could ask for these days. 

To say that you were excited about the Rave’n was an exaggeration. Three days or so before the ball, you had a newfound thrill about it thanks to Enid, but your mood had decreased in the meantime. First, because your health hadn’t gone better despite the potion you’ve been taking. It slowed down the growing process, sure, but weed killer was still poison. And second, words had spread that Xavier had dumped Wednesday for the Rave’n. This didn’t sadden you per se, but a small, naive part of yourself had secretly hoped that he would invite you instead. This was silly but for the briefest moment, you had thought that he would, at least because you were best friends. He didn’t. 

So it was half-heartedly that you applied some light make-up before the dance, your white outfit hanging on the door of your closet. Enid’s energy was barely enough to make you smile but you had promised her you would come. When her date came to pick her up at the door she gave you an excited wave of the hand, reminding you to find her later when you arrive at the party. She didn’t want to rush you or pressure you if you didn’t want to arrive this early, and you were grateful for that. The more time passed, the more your already thin will to go seemed to vanish. And yet, you sighed and grabbed your outfit with you to get changed in the bathroom. While you had felt empty most of the day, something tiny and warmth erupted in you when you got a look at yourself in the mirror once changed. You had picked long white palazzo pants, with an equally white corset top that showed off your shoulders and arms; flowy thin off-the-shoulder sleeves gave an impression of weightlessness like it was effortless to be here. Perfect to hide the reality of the pain dragging along your steps. But…the longer you looked at yourself in the mirror, the stronger this pleasant - albeit quite weak - feeling grew. For the first time, you actually found yourself pretty. The discreet silver embroidery of stars and constellations on the corset and the platform heels of your favourite colour were nice additions. Of a sudden, you started to feel nostalgic. In a way, this night was your last outing with a large crowd of people you knew, and most of them would probably never see you again. A strange feeling of confidence rushed by; not the one when you feel powerful by the way you look or carry yourself, but one of the ethereal moments, frozen in time yet ephemeral. You hadn't particularly made a difference in your short life but at least you were glad that you could shine for one last dance, clothed in white before the red of your blood would take over. 

Whipping a treacherous tear that had made its way to the corner of your eye, you then squared your shoulders. With a last long inspiration for strength, you exited the bathroom. 

Seeing your other roommate packing a bag, you frowned slightly. 

"You're going somewhere?" 

"Eugene and I are going to watch over the cave we discovered," she said simply, packing a flashlight, "it's highly likely to be the monster's den." 

"Eugene? Ottinger?" you asked, surprised by her unconventional choice of companion. At her sharp nod, your face turned into a concerned expression. "I'm glad he's with you then, but…be careful, okay?" 

She snapped her head in your direction, "I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself."

"Yeah, but Eugene's not. He's a good kid, he doesn't deserve to be hurt," you insisted. 

You didn't know Eugene Ottinger that well, firstly because he was younger and a class below you, but you had met him on various occasions especially about bees when some of your potions required honey. But he was a kind boy, and the knowledge that he was going close to a supposed monster nest wasn't reassuring at all. 

And seemingly, Wednesday saw your worry and you could swear that you saw her hardened expression ease a little. 

"He will be safe with me," she said. "Besides I'm the only one allowed to torture him. Bee code."

That pulled a small smile out of you. Under her tough armour, Wednesday actually had a soft side. Not wanting to push it further, you quietly made your way to the door; no need to delay the party further. Swinging the door open, you stopped dead in your tracks at the unexpected sight of a familiar figure. Tyler stood there dressed head to toe in white, fidgeting nervously. 

“Oh,” he said, almost as surprised as you. “Hi Y/N.”

“Galpin,” you greeted dryly. 

He scratched the back of his head, mouth opening like he was about to say something. You swore that if he was about to sweet-talk you by making an actual compliment you were going to punch him. Fortunately for him, he didn’t. “Is- uh, is Wednesday here?” 

You arched an eyebrow at his question. Or more accurately, at Tyler Galpin being at your dorm room dressed to the nines and asking for your roomie. “Sure,” you said, “Wednesday, there’s someone for you.”

She said something about Eugene being on time and you didn’t need to look at her to feel her freeze next to you when she reached the door. A very awkward beat passed, and then you decided that you definitely didn’t want to witness the strange conversation that would follow. Slipping away you caught a brief look at Thing hiding inside the room. This was going to be an interesting story to hear about later. 

Going down the stairs of the Ophelia wing, you started to get cold feet about this party. Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea, after all? But before you even thought about going back to your dorm you were already at the party, and Enid had definitely seen you. Her enthusiastic gasp made some of your friends’ heads turn. 

“Y/N, you look so pretty!” she exclaimed as you approached them, shyly greeting the rest of them. 

Ajax let out a low whistle, “Well, none of you told us this was an actual fashion show or what.” 

“Nice outfit, I second the shoes,” said Yoko with a smirk. 

“Thanks guys,” you said almost shyly. 

“You’re like Glenda the witch of the East!” beamed Enid, which made some of the others chuckle. 

You thanked her and went to grab the two of you some drinks. Apparently, her date was supposed to but he stood rather awkwardly in the middle of the Nevermore students' crowd. Returning with the blue drinks in hand you cheered with the small group of friends, swinging gently at the music rhythm while everyone arrived. You even caught sight of Principal Weems, a somehow proud smile plastered on her face as she chaperoned the whole party. Everyone seemed to have a good time and it warmed your heart. One of your last memories of your school and its students, it was a good one. 

But then, you heard Enid gasp. 

“Oh my god, look who’s there.”

You whipped your head, expecting the surprise appearance of Wednesday at Tyler’s arm – if she hadn’t eaten him alive first. Instead, you felt your heart leap in your throat like a freezing iceberg to the bottom of the ocean. Cladded in white and hair tightly brought in a bun like he often did, Xavier walked in. And on his arm in a stunning silver backless dress, Bianca. Before you could stop yourself you choked on your drink, a coughing fit rocking your whole body ungracefully. 

“Shit, you’re alright?” immediately asked Enid.

You wiped the corner of your mouth slightly, just to make sure you didn’t actually drool on yourself. “Yeah,” you mumbled, “be right back, ‘m gonna fetch me another drink.” 

Dodging her questions or the questioning looks of people around you sped to the minibar. Once you made sure no one saw you, you hurled over your drink and let a large white bloodied flower drown down your glass. The red blood distilled into the blue tint of the cocktail, melting like deadly poison. That made you wince and you put down your drink on the table, hidden behind some bottles. You picked another clean glass of this whatever-virgin cocktail and waved discreetly your hand above it. Taking a sharp swing of it you were secretly glad to feel the familiar sting down your frown. At least you still had enough power to cast this spell transforming water into liquor. This night was going to require much stronger than soft drinks. 

From that moment, the Rave’n took a more bittersweet turn for you. It was hard to not glance at Xavier or Bianca – which, if you had done, would have made you realize that the vibes were awkwardly cold between the two of them. Even though Enid and Yoko tried to distract you, dragging you to the dance floor and trying to make you laugh. Their antics worked as you ended up swaying and dancing along to the loud techno music, pretending it didn’t pierce your ear drums. You didn’t even flinch at Wednesday’s sudden appearance, her black dress parting the crowd of white outfits like the red sea. It wasn’t your time to care, nor did you want to. The glass of booze you had certainly helped; you weren’t drunk, not even tipsy, just feeling light-headed enough to tune down, for a few minutes, the aching pain in your heart. The feeling of weightlessness was numbing and soothing, but not enough to forget the plaguing thought of your sickness. Or the weight of Xavier’s rejection, rubbed in your face by his arrival with Bianca. 

When a more slow song started, this artificial euphoria wore off slowly. And the feeling of your loneliness became very real again. The room became too crowded, too much to handle and you walked out of it, like a zombie. Finding a seat outside you plopped down unceremoniously. Your legs ached, maybe you had tired yourself out in the end. As tiredness sank into your bones, numbness overtook you whole once again. Not quite like before, like a soothing caress, more like a piercing melancholy wrapping around you like a comforting, yet exclusive blanket. Nothing had felt more empty before, but your lonely being with eyes haggard and heart bleeding out of your chest. 

The sound of a deep sigh made you realize that someone had taken a seat near you, and you were surprised to see none other than Bianca on the other side of the sofa. She didn’t look too happy either. 

Unable to stop the words from coming out of your mouth, you blurted. 

“Are you alright?”

The siren whipped her head to you, icy blue eyes half throwing daggers, half…sad?

“Why do you care?” 

Her harsh tone could sound rude, but you knew better than that. Your question had been incredibly random, you weren’t even sure that Bianca actually wished to talk with you, but you recognized the hurt in her eyes. 

At your unfazed expression, she sighed once again, “I’m sorry for that,” she excused herself, “this was uncalled for.”

You only shrugged, “I guess this is what I get for spoiling your evening.”. Bianca’s eyebrows rose slightly at your bitter tone. This wasn’t usual for you. 

“You’re not the one ruining my night, trust me,” she mumbled, glancing at the ballroom. 

Following her gaze, your eyes landed on Xavier, sitting at one of the tables and gaze locked on Wednesday and her date. His knuckles were white and his jaw clenched. If this sight made your heart break a little more, you were pretty sure that Bianca’s did too. 

The siren sighed and accepting her defeat, slumped in her seat. Bianca Barclay never slumped. 

“He’s not mine anymore, isn’t he?” she whispered out loud. 

Your eyes widened at her. Of all people you really didn’t expect Bianca to confide in you. Sensing your disbelief she turned her blue eyes to you. They were glossy with tears. 

“I’m not sure I’m the one who can help you with that,” you said with a sorry look. 

She scoffed lightly, but the sad look was still plaguing her traits, “I think you can, Y/N. Since when do you love him, exactly?”

The question slightly took you aback. When they had started dating, Bianca had kind of cornered you to give you the classic speech, new girlfriend to best friend, halfway to threats, and had asked you if you loved Xavier then. You had to say no. But now…this wasn’t the same prideful, powerful and confident girl, looking forward to ensuring her superiority. This was the teary-eyed, heartbroken girl who seek answers to get some sort of closure. Who were you to deny her that? 

So you sighed, and cast your eyes on your lap, “A long time,” you muttered quietly.

She hummed knowingly; this may be the first time you actually heard her being tired. “To be honest, I was glad he accepted my invitation,” she told you, like confidence. “But I was surprised he didn’t invite you first.”

You coughed weakly, not even bothering to be careful of Bianca seeing the eventual petals that could come out. “Yeah me too,” you whispered, “but it doesn’t matter now.” 

Bianca tilted her head, a bit surprised by your words, “Yes it does.”. At your raised eyebrow, she nodded in Xavier’s direction. “Wednesday’s not the only one occupying his mind tonight. He may think he got a poker face, but he doesn’t.”

Out of reflex, you looked once again at Xavier. The blue and yellow lights of the party shone on him, highlighting each of his sharp features. A sob made its way into your throat and you blocked it just before it escaped your mouth. Everything just hurt so much. 

“I don’t know what happened between you two recently,” said Bianca with an unknown softness, “but he does care. He worries about you, I know that” 

A cough wrecked your body, allowing petals and flowers to fly out of your mouth through your painful throat. Clamping a hand over your mouth under the siren’s perplexed eyes, you sighed in relief when the fit ended. Opening your hand to see as usual blood-coated flowers, you felt your chest ache. 

“Well, maybe his concerns won’t be enough this time,” you said weakly. Throwing away the flowers carelessly you avoided Bianca’s concerned gaze. “Maybe I should’ve thought about myself first, for once.” 

She let out a dry and tired laugh, “I second that. Maybe I should have too.” 

You offered a weak smile. No matter how much you both had, or loved Xavier, you couldn’t deny anymore the hurt it brought upon you. Especially upon you. 

“I’m sorry for having invited Xavier,” finally muttered Bianca. 

You shrugged, “Don't be. You had every right to try your chance. I knew this might happen”

She nodded, silently appreciating the lack of hate. You were far too tired to give that. “What made you come here, then?”

Remembering your roommate’s words, you smiled a little, “Something along the line of independent women not needing anybody.” 

Bianca chuckled at that. Whoever told you that was right. 

The arrival of another siren, blessedly unaware of the unexpected and open-heart conversation that had been going on, distracted Bianca from you. Her ability to put on a bright smile in the blink of an eye impressed you. You took that as your cue and got up, returning to the party before Enid or anyone would get worried. This strange bonding time reminded you why you had come in the first place: no matter how broken your heart was, this was about you and getting one last fun night before the dark. 

No one could really tell for how long you had been dancing again. Arms up, flowing along the music like nothing around you mattered. In a way, it did. Blurry faces of your friends and smiles that you didn’t know who they belonged to. It was like your mind had blacked out from the rest. Nothing could reach you; not the plaguing thought of your upcoming passing, not the burning sensation through your lungs, the tickling and bitter scrap of petals trying to crawl out of your throat, or the heavy burden of your broken heart. It was just you; for the first time, it was just you and it didn’t frighten you so much anymore. 

A warm drop sliding down your forehead broke you out of your trance, making your eyes flutter open. All the students were still dancing without the slightest care of the world, and you thought that you had maybe imagined things. Reaching for the damp spot, you brushed your fingers against it and gave them a look. A sticky, deep red liquid coated them. And before you could wonder what was happening, all hell broke loose. Torrential rain of blood sprouted out of the room’s sprinklers, drenching everyone in the blink of an eye. All the white outfits turned into a deep crimson shade and scream erupted everywhere. Terrified students ran, trying to find cover the best they could, and in the middle of it all, you stood frozen in place. 

As soon as the bloody liquid had started to pour it had been like reality had come crashing in. The rational part of your brain screamed at you to run away, to find a shelter; but your eyes were stuck on your trembling hands, bathed in red. Flashes of white flowers and petals echoed in front of your eyes in a never-ending fall, your heart started to spin and suddenly you couldn’t hear anything but the loud and panicked beats of your heart. Like an infernal spiral, your mind started to fall apart, replaying uncomplete scenes in your head; the burning sensation in your chest, tearing your body apart as you gagged blood mixed with flowers, the vision like from far away, of your own body losing grip on itself and laying cold on the ground for merely seconds that still felt like hours, the waking up in cold sweat in the middle of the night, trying to scream but being unable to because of your throat stuffed with petals. God, why did anybody hear the deafening thumping of your blood behind your temples? They were so loud, and your chest, it ached so much! Maybe somebody was calling out for you, you didn’t know. It felt like your head was stuck in cotton wool, and your body trapped within the spiralling of your own mind. And why did it hurt so much, why couldn’t your chest burst open once and for—

“Y/N!!” shouted a voice over the terrified screams. “Y/N we have to go!”

You knew that voice, that you were certain of it. It was the grip on your arm that made you snap back into reality a second later. Drenched in red, Xavier looked at you with frightened eyes. 

“You heard me? We have to go!” he repeated. 

It took your brain a few more seconds to reconnect fully to reality. It wasn’t fast enough for your legs to register how to walk on your own, so Xavier had to drag you along behind him, trying to reach the room’s exit the quickest way possible. You wondered how long it had taken him to notice that you hadn’t tried to get out on your own.  

Someone bumping into you managed to get your mind focused fully again. Catching the smaller frame of Wednesday out of reflex, you immediately noticed that something was wrong. Eyes blown wide and head thrown backwards, something was going on. Immediately, you and Xavier tried to call her, to get her out of this frightening trance. She gasped for air merely a second after, like someone had just resurrected her. 

“Eugene’s in danger,” she whispered immediately. 

“What?? You let him go on his own?” you snapped back. 

“He’s in the woods he’s in danger, I see him he’s in danger,” she continued to ramble, almost like a chant. 

Swearing under your breath, you immediately let go of Wednesday muttering a hurried “keep an eye on her” to a flabbergasted Xavier; then you didn’t waste a single second and sprinted out of the room. Damn be your newfound motto about thinking about putting yourself first, you weren’t going to let that kid die. 

Reaching the outlines of the wood you cursed loudly at your impractical platforms and quickly got rid of them. Then your erratic run resumed. 

“Eugene!” you called from the top of your lungs. “Eugene, where are you?!”

Nothing but silence answered you but you didn’t give up and continued to run, hoping to not be too late. A harsh burning clamped your heart, maybe from the running; it seemed that you didn’t register anymore the petals your body unconsciously rejected now. It roamed through your lungs, making it difficult to breathe now. A sharp wheeze escaped your mouth as a particular rough fit of coughing shook your body, forcing you to stop your run for a moment, leaning on a nearby tree for support. Your lungs tugged on themselves, trying to cling to air for your dear life but nothing could go past through your blood and flowers-filled throat. You choked on nothing, tears springing from the corners of your eyes.

Before you could regain control of your own body, your knees buckled under you and you dropped onto the muddy forest floor, wheezing and clawing at your throat. You gurgled and heaved up a large group of flowers bathing in blood. The feeling of it dripping on your chin and petals stuck inside your mouth wasn’t even the worst. 

Then your ears picked up something in the distance. Ever so faintly, a weeping sound. Like pleas, a rasping voice weakly calling out for help. 

“Eugene,” you whispered. 

Out of instinct, you tried to push yourself standing but your legs flinched under your own weight and you fell limply on the ground. Some more blood escaped your half-opened mouth, dripping on your chest with the other discarded flowers. Eyelids feeling heavy, you started to feel lightheaded as the world around you began to swirl. You tried to move, but even lifting your hand felt impossible. 

The sound of hurried footsteps reached your ears, but you couldn’t find the strength to turn over to see who it was. Then without a warning, they turned you over, back on the ground. Wednesday. 

“Y/N, did you see the monster? Where’s Eugene??” 

Any word that you tried to form came out as pathetic gurgling sounds. The Addams’ eyes flickered to your blood-covered chin, then to the flowers on your chest and on the ground. 

“How did that happen?” she asked hurriedly, “did you see Eugene??”

Finally managing to articulate something, you croaked, “...further…down…heard him…please hurry…”

She gripped your hand, looking like she was torn apart between staying with you or looking out for your lost comrade. Sensing her dilemma even with a blurred mind, you weakly squeezed her hand back as an encouragement. 

“Go help…him…’f not too late…”

She nodded frantically, almost trembling, “Others are on their way Y/N,” she tried to reassure you, “hold on tight, okay? You’re going to make it.”

You could only nod weakly. But as Wednesday was about to get up, an unknown surge of panic gave you enough energy to grip her forearm tightly. Snapping her head back at you, her eyes widened even more at the pleading expression that faced her. 

“Please…” you whimpered, “don’t…don’t let him…see me like this…”

Tears roamed down your cheeks freely, and you felt your strength leave your body with every passing second. 

“What?” she asked in confusion. 

You wheezed weakly, “d…don’t let him think…think…that it w…as his f-fault,” you pleaded before letting your gripping hand fall on the floor with a thud. 

The following seconds felt like hours. The weight of your body seemed enough to bury you in the ground. Some shouts were heard in the distance. Before your mind blacked out, you remembered the shouting voice of Xavier screaming your name. Then the night took over. 

The smell of sanitized belongings was the first thing your brain registered when you emerged into consciousness again. Then the white light, blinding even behind closed eyelids. You heard and felt your whole body groan in pain. It was considerably tuned down from what you were used to, still, soreness erupted through your limbs. After a solid minute of struggling you finally opened your eyes. 

Awakening in a hospital bed wasn’t something you had ever wished for in your life. Yet, here you were apparently. Taking a look around with groggy eyes, you didn’t even notice a nurse walking by, or her saying something about notifying your legal guardian. It was only a few minutes later when Principal Weems entered your room that you connected the dots. At least, the best you could with your still fuzzy brain. 

“Miss L/N,” she said in a soft tone that was tainted with relief, “I’m glad you’re finally awake.”

“I- how long was I out?” you rasped, tongue feeling pasty. 

“Almost an entire day,” answered the principal, closing the door behind her. “How are you feeling?” 

You winced slightly, a lingering pain piercing your chest still, “Sore. What happened? Did- did you find Eugene?” 

Weems pursed her lips but still nodded, “Mr Ottinger is fine, he’s currently getting some treatment in this hospital as well.” 

You let out a relieved sigh. At least, Eugene was safe; but she still hadn’t answered all your questions. 

As she could read your mind, Weems approached your bed, a serious look on her face. 

“Miss Addams and Mister Thorpe found you in the woods,” she started. At the mention of Xavier’s name, your eyes widened in panic. Oh no, what had he seen? How much did he know? Principal Weems narrowed her eyes at your reaction but still carried on, “It seemed that you had passed out from hypoglycemia; at least, that is what both of them believe.”

Her words made you frown slightly, not quite understanding where she was getting at. The serious look on her face, cold like a stone, didn't make you feel any better. But at the same time, you thought you could detect…sadness? 

Principal Weems sat on the chair next to your bed and pulled out a folder from her bag. 

“The doctors who had auscultated you gave me this,” she said, pulling two blue and white plastic sheets. 

The first glance at the x-rays was enough for you to know exactly what it was about. 

“We need to talk about whatever this is, miss L/N.”

[Part.6] 

A/N: sooo I know I've promised some fluff but this was already so long omg, it'll be on the next part :') Enid roasting Xavier is my new religion not gonna lie (and I couldn't resist hinting a small Enid x Wednesday I'm weak okay) Also: can we please talk about Bianca's outfit at the Rave'n??? I like this character a lot honestly, because well...she's relatable as fuck. I thought she was going to be branded as the cliché school bitch but she's just a teenage girl who's dealing with shitty family problems and broke up with her boyfriend in a kind of rocky way. Yeah, maybe some petty behaviour at the beginning of the show was bitchy, but she's a teenager; we all were bitchy somehow Anyway, I hope you liked this part, I'm currently working on the next, take care of you♥♥

Taglist: [COMPLETE AND CURRENTLY HAVING A BREAKDOWN] Edit: wtf it works now??

@apocalypticnova @libdarkheart @ameliabs-world @certifeidlovergirl @aeisnoa @cat-loves-music @coolchick333 @eringaitskill @sweaterxav @sssleepless @l4venderia @persipeoni @coldheartedmar @littlebabyk @pinksirensong @nushy @raribella @igotanidea @ali-r3n @chaosfrisur @miinnttyy @hershey2813​

@cafeaueva @queenofshinigamis @xxhospital-for-soulsxx @imtherealslimmoony @one-oblivious-nerd @amphitritesangels @valckenaux @aliciahlewis @lilsunshine1092 @ell0ra-br3kk3r @ahmya-4 @katkoosik @maggie-da-rat @hopelessnessforthehopeful @mk-the-great @neenieweenie @steviesbergthuis @rayliz793 @poison-ivy-737

@katiemrty @vanillaarr @corpsebridenightamare @ghswlz @siriusblacksl0ver @poppyalice2001 @mypsychoticlove @jointherebellion215 @siriwhitewolf @teaganthemorningstar @oblivion-void @fandomstoryreader25 @darkdaydreamer @engenelxver @maddiechapman15 @hannahnikohl @pajerita19 @i-like-trains @tinafuentes @slngarza @lqveharrington @honethatty12 @users09 @honestlyka  @athenalive @sunnytkm23 @mjpark15 @joselyn001 @mermaid-painter @sagegreeeeen @hayleesworld96 @sunnyteume @itssomeonereading @vaebeau @spencershotwife @negasonicteenagefathead @   @flowersownme @eileen201804 @peacheskiwi @spiceyhotsherbet @ramiiroll @theweirdone2468 @tempressofthetarot @bambi-munson @apollo 3475  @hes-club

(don’t hesitate to tell me if I’ve forgotten you on the taglist, there had been some issues with it recently so I might have missed some usernames, if so I apologize :D)

[slasherstories123]

I WAS THE ONE WHO ASKED FOR THE BETRAYAL STORY AND I FRICKING LOVED IT. OMG IT WAS SO GOOD? CAN WE GET A PART 2? With MORE ANGST AND MAYBE EVEN THE READER JUST FRICKING REAPPEARING? IDK I LOVE IT AND YOU :D

Betrayal pt 2

A/N: ooooo the reader comes back, now you’re speaking my language!! 😈

Tagslist: @brxwrvth @callmemeelah @dootys @fluffy-little-demon @slash3rl0v3r

Word count: 874

It’s been a month and 3 weeks, Thomas kept count of how long you were gone, he slowly recovered from your escape, he felt a lot better and got back to how it was. It was still hard though, he cried less than how he used to now. He got used to tending to his own wounds… or didn’t care at all. Luda Mae would try to get him out the basement, it worked sometimes.

It was another night of silence, everyone was asleep but Thomas, for once he was out of the basement, he sat in his room, just laying there. He had trouble falling asleep, that’s why he would stay in the basement, cutting up meat would clear his mind and would drain his energy. Something just didn’t feel quite right though, he just had a strong feeling that someone was in the house, quickly but silently, he left his room to see if his senses were right.

You couldn’t believe you were doing this, you don’t even k ow why you were coming back yourself. It was a long way if you wanted to get back home on foot, so you had to come back, plus… you did feel a little guilty for leaving Thomas behind. That guilt stayed with you, it hurts you, you couldn’t imagine how he reacted to you gone. The hard part was for them to gain your trust again and not be chopped up into meat. You stood there by the table like an idiot.

The heavy footsteps approached down the stairs, you already knew who it was. Thomas looked at you from the bottom of the stairs, both of you looked at each other not knowing what to do or say, shakily, you have him a wave and a kind hearted smile, usually you’d have a fake smile. No, not this time, your smile was filed with sympathy, you weren’t gonna lie, you missed Thomas as well. “Hello Thomas,” You whispered, having both of your hands up to tell him that you mean no harm.

He didn’t know what to do, should he kill you for leaving? Should he hug you? It was like his feet were glued to the floor, just by the look in his eyes you could tell that when you escaped it affected him deeply, you wanted to move but his glare alone made you stay in the same spot. After what felt like hours of staring at each other, you took the first step, and then another… and another. Thomas kept his eyes on you, it could be another trick, you’re acting nice again! You took his hands into your own, his hands started shaking, remembering the memories he had with you gone.

“I’m so sorry Thomas, I didn’t know what I was thinking.” He frantically shook his head, he could be seeing things! His hands then touched your face just to make sure, you couldn’t help but just smile at him.“You’re not seeing things, I’m really here.” In a swift motion he picked you up and spinner you around, you’re back! You’re actually back at home with him! He didn’t have the heart to kill you, it just wasn’t right! Sure you did betray him, but you’re back! You practically couldn’t breathe due to his crushing hug.

Your hands patted his chest as a sign to let go, he put you down but still couldn’t contain his excitement, it’s been awhile since you saw him happy, “Let me guess.. the family still hates me and wants me dead?” Thomas replied in sign language, while you were there he reached you a few words to understand. “Hoyt and Monty are, mother on the other hand was upset but she got over you.”

You knew that yourself, you may have to gain all of their trusts back, this time you’ll won’t betray them, you’re here to stay, gaining their trust will take a while but it’ll be worth the wait. The next morning Thomas was scared to let the others see you, Luda Mae knew Thomas was hiding something, she was the first one to know, when she saw you she was mainly shocked that you came back. Just like Thomas, she was skeptical about you, Hoyt and Moty found out about you a day after.

As expected, Hoyt wanted to kill you, Thomas wouldn’t allow it. Monty really didn’t care anymore, You got Thomas to trust you first, it was easy, but you actually had to show him that you weren’t gonna leave. Luda Mae came next, she was kinda harsh with you, but just seeing you taking care of her son warmed her heart, she trusted you again but still kept a close eye on you.

Hoyt still hates you, there’s no point in trying to communicate with that man. You tried but he always ends up trying to kill you. It’s safe to say that you’re happy in your new home and is glad to be back in the Hewitt family.

[intynidad]

Hi hi!! Could I request the dorm leaders (if that’s too many, your favorites!) with a child MC? (Parental or older sibling sorta relationship) (also by child I mean 8-10 years old) Have a wonderful day, drink some water and eat protein! 💕

@moomoo-mochi OMG THANK YOU??

I love this so much I’m just a sucker for this kind of prompt!!

Also, this will be based on how I acted as a toddler (spoiler I was a stupid kid)

a health potion with risu giggles for a fellow merchant!

(also sorry I didn't know what to write for iidia or vil and I didn't want to write something that I wasn't satisfied 

The beginning 

-you careless puppy, How many times I told the two of you to be careful!- professor crewel was scolding you and your lab partner...well at your lab partner more than you, you were kinda busy trying to get out of the cauldron to listen 

You and your lab partner were assigned to do a regression potion that was supposed to work in reviving dead plants or turning rotten food into edible again but when you were measuring the exact amount of the last ingredient to finish the potion, somebody accidentally pushed you making you spill all of the ingredients...and yourself into the cauldron.

so now there you are extremely confused about what just happened and incapable of taking care of yourself for the 3 days the potion was supposed to last and now your lab partner has to take care of you until the potion wore off or mister crewel finds an antidote

Riddle Rosehearts

Riddle has an abusive mother and no younger siblings so our dear tomato is lost, he doesn’t know any rules that would help him take care of a little child so he asks trey for help (like most of heartsalybul when they have problems).

trey lets you eat pastries while riddle does his dorm leader duties but he looked away for a second and oops no child in sight...ok time to panic.

riddle was scolding some heartsalybul students that spilled all of the red paint in one of the chairs so now not only the other members of the dorm couldn’t continue painting but now the unbirthday party had to cancel and you know what happens when you break one of the queen’s rules

-OFF WITH YOUR- Riddle swung his magic pen

-wead!- riddle turn around to see you with a rose in your hand pretending it to be a magic pen

-off widd your wead!- you repeated swinging the rose up and down

riddle was stroked by your cuteness like a truck; he was speechless (also because picking roses was against the rules but lest ignore it) the two students he was scolding ran away because their dorm leader was picking you up and giggling at your little imitation of him 

-nono Off, with, your, head!-

-off wid your wead!-

Leona kingschoolar

-agh how annoying- the savanaclaw dorm leader wasn’t a big fan of children and much less taking care of them, he probably was gonna throw you at Ruggie or jack, both of them had younger siblings so they could probably take care of you better but there is one thing he didn’t count off

-LEONA OJI-TAN-...fuck, today was the day Cheka came to visit his dear oji-tan, now Leona is not only stuck with a brat but with a furball too.

-who are them uncle?-(owo who this) Cheka waved at the child that was behind his uncle’s legs-hi I am Cheka, wanna play tag?!-oh ho ho this gives him an idea

-Cheka this is Y/N, your new playmate-the lion cub had a little sparkle in his eyes

-you two can play all day and ill be watching you from that tree so have fun-hell yea he was a genius Cheka and you are entertained, and he can nap is a win-win situation for everyone

-WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH- and there it goes his perfect plan

-oi, what happened- you were in  sitting on the ground while hugging your knee and crying your heart out and Cheka kneeled beside you trying to comfort you 

-I’m-I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to push you it was an accident- now he looked like he wanted to cry 

-agh you two cut it out-Leona said in a low growl while kneeling beside you-is just a scratch don’t worry just let me-he picked you up.

now all of you were in his room he gently  bandages your knee while Cheka was holding your hand for “moral support”

-kiss to make it better Leona oji-tan!-

-only if both of you promise to be more careful-Cheka nodded- ok “pain, pain go away *woshh*, there you go- you moved your knee and started to giggle while Cheka was already dragging you to continue playing, the two of you were lucky that both were cute because not everybody can see this side of Leona and live for telling it 

Azul Ashengrotto

-Come, come everyone!-the leader of octaville tapped his fedora-For the price of 25 madol you can have for a limited time only a  photo of our dear Y/N as a toddler!-

and of course, our dear capitalist Ursula is taking profit from this situation.

you were sitting in a little chair all dolled up while jade took pictures of you with different students and Floyd was taking the money from dose poor unfortunate souls

An hour passed and there were still about 50+ students in line for a photo when Azul notice something about you.

your hands were in the form of a tiny fist and your eyes were watery and you haven’t smiled at the camera for the last photos even when Floyd made funny faces behind jade you weren’t enjoying this.

usually, he wouldn’t care about it, he was making some good money and that was the important thing but you were different, you were his friend

-the lounge is closed, everyone get out, Floyd take care of that and jade-he looked for a second at you-make something warm for our little guest-

all of the students in line emitted different protest sounds but a look at Floyd grin and everyone was already on the exit

-sorry for all that little one- he lightly patted your hair-what about I pay you for your work with some treats?-

-*happy gasp* YESH!!-you hugged his leg with a strong grip-

-nee~ nee~, why Azul can have a hug from shrimpy and I cant?-

-FWOYD!! :D-

Kalim al asim

-Kalim, please calm down-Jamil said looking like he is gonna pop up a blood vessel

-LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y-he was let’s say...excited about this situation

-JAMILLOOKATTHEMTHEYARESOCUTEANDTINYIWANNATROWAPARTYFORJUSTTHEMOMGTHEYARESOCUTE- 

-Remember to breathe Kalim and please calm down you are scaring them-Jamil said while kneeling to be on your level

-*gasp* I’m sorry y/n, I’m just so happy to be with you, are you hungry?-you give a quick nod

for the surprise of Jamil, the fact that you turned into a child made Kalim more independent???

he knew that crewel sensei asked Kalim to take care of you but he kinda assumed he is the one who will end up taking care of both of you.

-emmm Jamil-and here we go-have you seen Y/N around?-

-excuse me whAT??!!- Jamil shouted- HOW DO YOU LOSE A CHILD?-

-I didn’t lose them I just….temporally misplace them...OK YES, I LOST THEM BUT IS NOT MY FAULT WE WERE PLAYING HIDE N SEEK!-

-sure sure Kalim never anything is your fault-Jamil said between teeth-

Kalim could be a literal ray of sunshine but one of his bigs flaws were his “rich person behavior”

because he was spoiled and lived in a bubble he didn’t understand that his actions had consequences, in the good side he was working on it.

two hours had passed since that moment are you were nowhere to be found

now the scarabia duo was starting to panic

-OMG HOW IM SO CARELESS THAT I LOST THEM WHAT IF SOMETHING HAPPENED TO THEM IM THE WORST FRIEND IN THE WORLD-

-KALIM CALM DOWN, PANIC WILL NOT HELP IN THIS SITUATION-

-WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME-

-BECAUSE YOU ARE YELLING-

-*snore*-

-..............................-

-Jamil,...did that pillow made a sound?-

-I think so ?-

*SNOOOREEE*

and there you were sleeping under a big mountain of pillows you fell asleep while playing so that, why you didn’t, respond to the calls of the two boys

-ok Kalim we found them and I hope this had taught you a lesson about taking care of things...well taking care of people-

-oh for the great seven I thought I was gonna have a heart attack-

-now you know how I feel and I really would appreciate it if you used this experience to-

-*SNOOOOREEE*-

And now Kalim was sleeping beside you

great seven give Jamil patience and have mercy on both of you when morning comes 

Malleus draconia

-arent you a little thing fufufufuf-

-old man be careful with them-silver said

you might be wondering, I thought malleus would take care of toddler Y/N?

Well, that was the plan...malleus is a reserved man, with no friends more than his two guards and the older fae that raised him, that was until he meets you, you looked at him in the eyes with no fear just a hint of curiosity.

you gave him his first nickname,”tsunotaro” a childish name that was almost disrespectful to the heir of the valley of thorns and one of the most powerful wizards of all twisted wonderland, yet you called him that silly name, you hugged him, you listen to him and he listened to you, you were his friend and precisely because that he left you at the care of Lilia, the mere thought of you screaming and running away from him made his heart ache

that always happened…

Malleus is used to that, since he was a child people looked at him with fear or caution but never with kindness except for one person, you

and he was determined to let that like that, but he couldn’t stop thinking what if something happens to you?

what type of friend he would be if he lets somebody take advantage of you in this vulnerable state?

a peek wouldn’t hurt

there you were, in the flower bed of ramshackle dorm both planted, taking dandelions from around and with inexperience and tiny hands crafting a flower crown too small for anyone except you.

he looked at you from the shadows carefully to not being spotted warding you like the dragon he is.

-hewo-small and tired eyes fixed behind a large tree

malleus was behind that tree…

-whats yowr name?-now standing up and slowly walking to the tree in question-are you shy?, is oke I won’t hurt yow-

like if a child could do any damage to him

-I made thwis fow you-you said reveling a second flower crown that was just a little bit bigger than the one in your head 

you let the flower crown on the floor near the tree and waited, malleus knowing how stubborn you were he knew you wouldn’t leave so he left his hiding spot thinking about the screams and the fear your little face will have

-waaaa, you big! (giggles)-again, no signs of fear-uppa uppa!-you said while rising your hands to the sky and opening and closing your little fists

malleus emitted a low chuckle and picked you up, when you got to his eye level immediately went for his horns  touching and grabbing all your little hands could

-you sure are a strange thing, little child of man-

[viridwns]

Can't help but fall in love with you.

Time: present

Paring: Chuuya x f!reader

Characters: Chuuya nakahara, Dazai osamu, Mori ōgai, Fukuzawa yukichi from BSD

Warnings: none ig.

Request from: @trixiegalaxy . I hope you are happy with this!

You were just looking for a job. A simple job.

You really went from being a secretary with mountains of paperwork your boss left you to being in the middle of a truce meeting.

"No illusions this time fukuzawa?"

"It's a truce meeting right? I don't see the use of using my members ability."

You really didn't want to be here. What were you even thinking! The job that you were offered after just moving into this city was to perfect to be true. You knew something was up, but you still accepted it anyway.

When you were asked to come to an important meeting by Dazai, you didn't think any of it. I mean maybe you had to take notes or something. So ofcourse being the good subordinate you were, you said yes.

Curse this handsome looking man. If only you had listened to your guts when he asked you to join him for a double suicide.

You tugged at Dazai's arm wanting to know why in the hell he brought you here. "What the actual fuck Dazai" you whispered at him a frown setteling upon your face. He looked at you with a grin and winked. Wanting nothing more to bash his head in a voice interrupted your thoughts.

"I can see you brought someone new. I've never seen her face here before."

You looked at the mafia boss. He was smiling at you.

Gulping down the lump in your throat you tried to look as brave as possible. Standing up straight with your chin up.

"She's our new secretary. Thought i'd bring her with us for some experience." You heard Dazai say.

Only Dazai, fukuzawa and you were here. On the other side you could see the mafia boss, a man with no eyebrows? And a short, but intimidating man with a fedora.

Yeah you didn't want to get caught up into this.

"I'm gonna quit the next opportunity i get" you muttered. Regretting not listening to your mother to stay in the little village and not moving to the city.

"Knowing you Dazai, she isn't just a secretary. Just tell us what her ability is."

Wait what?

"Hah?" You said without realizing.

First of all how did Dazai know about your ability. Second of all how could it be of any use here?

"Ah you caught me. She indeed has an ability. Up to you to figure it out."

Dazai said, his famous grin plastered on his face.

"Cut the crap mackerel. This is a truce meeting. Stop this shitty act and just tell us why she's here." The man with the fedora stept forward. His gloved hand pointing at you.

Honestly you don't even know anymore why you were here.

"Can we just set our agreement. My schedule is busy and the only way we can stop (bad guy name) is if we work together."

Your boss spoke up. Looking tired as usual.

"Sorry, but it seems like your hiding something from us. Are you going to attack us when we turn around hm?"

The mafia boss looked at him with an amusing smile.

"Stop this nonsense Mori. Just agree to the plan. You know it's the best thing to do."

"Fine. Tomorrow at midnight i'll send Chuuya and you'll send Dazai. Deal?"

"Deal."

----

Why the fuck.

wHY THE FUCKING FUCK WERE YOU HERE.

That chuuya guy and Dazai were supposed to be going on a mission together.

so why in the hell were you here waiting infront of a shed at 12 AM with Dazai at your side.

Simple answer: you fell for his tricks again.

"Isn't the sky pretty y/n."

"Say one more word and i'll make you regret using me for my ability."

An angry scowl was placed on your features as Dazai pouted.

"Ah come one y/n-kun don't be so mean."

You snapped your head to the right to face him.

"Oh i'm mean? You literally send me here to join you for a suicide mission. I'm only going to be dead weight anyway!"

He chuckled

"Oh don't worry, you're going to be a great help for this mission."

Giving him a confused look, you were about to say something when a voice interrupted you.

"And can i ask why she is here?"

You looked to the left to see Chuuya standing there with a hand on his hip.

"Why is everyone so irritated this night. Well i wouldn't expect less from Chuuya, but you are never irritated y/n."

"For everything there's a first time." You said with a sigh.

This was going to be a long night.

"Just shut up you mackerel. I'm not in the mood for your shit."

Chuuya walked closer to the two of you. He was intimidating as ever, but gosh did he have anger issues.

Dazai tried to open his mouth, but knowing him and his passion for annoying people you interrupted him.

"If we go left from here, we'll eventually see the base of the enemy. There's a way in from the left side of the building without being seen. It's our best shot to sneak in."

You finished looking at the two men.

You could see Chuuya staring at you with a certain look in his eyes.

"Is there something on my face?" You asked, your hands wiping your face.

It looked like you suprised him by the sudden startled look on his face.

"N-no Let's just go. The sooner we start, the faster we finish."

Chuuya walked past the two of you. Cursing something under his breath. You could swear you saw a light pink covering his cheeks.

----

"Where the fuck did that maniac go?!"

You sat on the ground covering your ears with your hands. Not wanting to listen to Chuuya's whines anymore.

It all happenend so fast. The three of you broke into the enemy's base and found a good hiding spot, but somehow the three of you got caught. Chuuya and you ran, thinking Dazai was right behind you two, but when you locked yourselves into a lab, he was gone.

Looking at the furious ginger you tried to calm him down.

"It's Dazai we're talking about. C'mon have some faith in your partner."

You smiled lightly, but it soon faded as you were met with an angry scowl.

"He was my partner. I can't even believe he brought you."

He pinched the bridge of his nose.

You didn't know either why he brought you, but he could be atleast a bit nicer about it.

"Well i'm sorry for being here, but thanks to me we could break into this place. Also can you just calm your tits. Your behavior isn't helping the situation."

You stood up to look him in his eyes. Your smile being replaced with a more serious look.

"I-." He tried to say something, but instead moved to the other side of the room.

"You're such a nausionce."

Knowing if you would pick a fight with him now nothing good would come out of it.

"I know, now let's find a way out."

Looking around the room, you could only find some medical suplies and some samples of God knows what.

Chuuya began helping you after sulking for a bit in the corner. He checked all the cabinets and only found food and more medical supplies.

"I found nothing, you?"

You asked the man while sitting down on the large dental like chair in the middle of the room.

"Nothing useful no."

Chuuya leaned at the wall infront of you.

"Going outside is also not an option. There are cameras outside the door. So they'll know our location immediately."

You let out a frustrated sigh. Massaging your temples.

"God i'm so stupid. I should've paid more attention to our location."

The man infront of you scoffed.

"Not going to disagree with you on the first thing, but you couldn't have known where we were and we were all in a state of panic. It makes you forget things."

Being a little shocked that he also could be nice, i mean he did call you stupid indirectly, but the words he said did make you feel better.

"Thanks Chuuya. That means allot to me." You said to him smiling.

"Yeah yeah whatever." The pink hue could be seen again on his cheeks as he looked away.

Giggling softly at his flustered state.

"What are you laughing at brat?!"

Ah there was the angry chihuahua again.

"Nothing, just you."

"You bi-."

Chuuya was cut off by voices on the other side of the door. You jumped of your chair looking at Chuuya with a panicked expression.

He motioned to the closet and you nodded your head. Quickly moving over to the closet, you and Chuuya squeezed yourselves in.

The space was cramped, but it was the only solution for now. Knowing that Chuuya's ability would make to much of a commotion.

Feeling Chuuya's warm breath on your lips, you now noticed how short he actually was. His head not coming above your nose. It was adorable really.

He also smelled like wine, but it wasn't smelly or something. It was quite a pleasant smell and not to mention very attractive.

Blushing at your thoughts you looked up.

'Omg why am i thinking this now. He's so attractive- NO Y/N FOCUSE.' you internally screamed.

"This door is locked kiri, maybe the intruders are in here."

A soft rattling noise was heard and the door knob moved a little.

"Damn i don't got the keys. Let me go get them."

You heart footsteps leave the door, but you knew someone else was waiting infront of it.

Suddenly you could feel a light bulb just pop above your head. You had a plan, but you didn't know if it would work.

"Shit what do we do." You could hear Chuuya mutter.

"I might have an idea." You whispered.

----

"Are you crazy?! You can't just do that y/n!" Chuuya whisper yelled.

You were putting on one of the labcoats hanging in the closet. Your other clothes were in Chuuya's hands.

You were wearing your hair loose with a skintight labcoat flaunting every curve of your body.

"It's the only plan right now. And with my ability it is almost guaranteed it will work." You whispered back. You hated this plan as much as he did, but it was your only chance. And you felt sexy as fuck right now.

"I got them!." You heard a man's voice say. Footsteps getting closer. "Took you long enough, now open the door."

"Jeez okay fine."

"There is no time Chuuya." You said closing the closet doors. You could see Chuuya trying to protest, but he gave up.

Scurrying over to one of the counters pretending you were organizing something the door opened.

You heart starting to beat faster and your hands shaking. 'Calm down y/n. You got this you sexy motherfucker'. Your breathing slowed a little and a voice was heard from the doorway.

"Hey you! Put your hands up!"

You looked up to see two men in trenchcoats with guns pointing at you.

"What's this commotion all about gentleman? I'm just trying to do my job here."

You raised your hands and slowly walked over to the men.

"Stay still! Tell me your name."

Stopping your movements you bit your lip.

"My name is..." should you tell them you're real name? Or just make one up.

"Go on woman, we don't have all night."

Slightly annoyed by his tone, you decided to use your own name.

"L/n, y/n l/n." You said

"Never heard of you. Have you?" The man turned to his colleague.

"No, take her in custody."

Panicking internally, you needed to come up with a lie right now! Your ability won't work unless the men touch you.

"I uhmm. I was waiting for one of the men. He hired me for some private time. If you know what i mean." You winked at the two men. Hoping they would buy your lie.

You could see them blushing slightly.

"Who hired you?"

"Dunno. We do these things anonymous."

You walked over to the chair and slowly crawled on it. Trying to nonegelantly show your ass.

"Hey i said don't move!"

The second man said. Coming closer to you.

"Okay, okay calm down." You sat down and put your hands infront of you.

"I'm just here, because he still got 30 minutes left. Rules from my boss. Can't go away till the time is up." You shrugged and flipped your hair. Leaning on your knee with the other hand.

You really had to stop yourself from cringing.

"Well i got to ask you to leave ma'am." The first guys said, putting his gun down and walking over to you.

"Fine, but if you get a call from my boss, don't blame me."

"Ofcourse. You are just doing you're job." The second guy said with a blush on his face.

'Ugh men.'

"You have to lead me the way tho. The other guy insisted on blind folding me." You seductively bite your lip and winked again.

"Of- ofcourse come with us please."

The second guy cleared his throat and offered his hand. Smiling you took his hand and hopped of the chair.

'Now the other guy.'

'Accidentally' stumbling you fell into the first dudes arms, causing him to catch you.

"Oh shit. Clumsy me. Can't even walk properly."

You gave out a short laugh and the guy brushed his jacket.

"It's okay. Now come o-."

Not being able to finish his sentence, he fell to the ground. His partner following him.

"Yeah that's right you two go to sleep. I'll find my way out from here."

Chuckling at your own humor you snatched their guns.

"Wait how-."

Chuuya stepped out of the closet a blush on his cheeks and a confused expression.

Standing up straight you walked over to him and picked up your clothes from his hands.

"It's my ability  'sweet dreams'. If i touch the person and whisper 'sweet dreams' in the next 5 minutes. The person or persons will fall into a coma. They'll wake up when i fall asleep or when i forget i put them to sleep. So i have to keep thinking about them."

You finished off with a smile. Putting your own shirt on again.

"I can see now why Dazai brought you." He said with a slight smirk on his face.

"It isn't all that fancy and i never really used it before."

"Why come you never joined the port mafia or hell even the ADA."

You sighed a little.

"Well it could be a useful ability, but i don't want to be a hero or villian or other shit. I'm happy as i am now."

Chuuya looks at you with a soft expression.

"That's a shame. Would've loved to see you in action more. Or hell even fight against you."

He looked away from you. His hand behind his head. You laughed a little.

"I would absolutely demolish your ass." You said, crossing your arms with a triumph look on your face.

"Hah you wish princess. You won't be able to even come near me!"

You blushed at the sudden nickname. Your hands falling to your side.

"W-we'll see." You cursed yourself for stuttering.

He walked passed you to the door. Whispering something in you ear.

"I wouldn't mind seeing you try to seduce me like the two men you seduced just now."

Your ears felt hot and you were sure you looked like a tomato right now. Chuuya walked out the door and you just stood there. Coming out of your shocked state you ran out the door to slap him. "Come here you asshole." You whisper yelled. Chuuya almost dying from laughter shushed you. "We don't want the enemy to find us now. Do we. Otherwise you have to put on that outfit again."

Smacking him on the back of his head. You couldn't wait to get this mission done.

----

"Ah what a night. Good thing you guys saved me back there. They were cruel!"

The brunette man was stretching his limbs.

It was 5 in the morning and Chuuya and you were finally able to take the boss out (well Chuuya did that part while you freed Dazai.)

"Oh shut up you damn piece of shit. Thanks to you it took us the whole night to finish this job and most of all you brought y/n in unnecessary danger."

"Hey it's okay. I'm fine. Luckily we all are. Let's just head home go to sleep and go back to enemies in the morning." You quickly said walking inbetween the two men.

Dazai yawned.

"Sounds like a great plan y/n! Altough i thought you were gonna quit the job."

You put your hands around Dazais arm.

"Nah can't do that after such an adventure now can i?"

You and Dazai chuckled while Chuuya just sighed.

"Get a room jeez." He said annoyed.

"Ah c'mon Chuuya. We make a great team! I can't wait for the next truce." You said rather excited for this hour.

Coming at the end of the forest you knew you had to say your goodbye's to the men.

"Well y/n i wish you a pleasant night and i'll see you at work again. Chuuya i hope you get hit by a car."

Dazai smiled and turned around to walk away.

You laughed and waved him goodbye.

"That fucker." Chuuya muttered holding up his middle finger.

"Ah come on Chuuya. He may not show it, but i know he sees you as a friend."

"Pff sure in your dreams."

Sighing you face palmed yourself.

"Well i guess this is it then. Goodnight Chuuya."

You knew it was wrong. He was your enemy and you had to put your feelings aside, but you couldn't stop yourself. You never had so much fun in your whole life and to be frank, you didn't want the night to end here yet.

You kissed him on the cheek and turned around.

"Thank you for this wonderful, but crazy ass night." You gave a sad smile. Although he couldn't see it.

Suddenly you felt someone grab you wrist. Spinning you around. You were met with a flustered Chuuya his eyes fixated on the ground.

Standing there in an awkward silence for a few seconds, he finally spoke up.

"Look. I worked with many people before, but i never had so much fun with someone. And-" he became quiet for a bit. Taking a deep breath he continued: " and i never felt like this before. You give me this warm feeling and i hate it, but i can't get enought of it. When i first saw you at the meeting i just knew you were different. So please let's not end this night just yet."

He tilted his head to look at you a serious expression on his face.

"Chuuya-."

Your voice was cut of when a pair of warm lips crashed your own. They were rough, but soft at the same time. Being a little stunned you forgot to kiss back. Chuuya pulled away again taking a step back.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know what came over me."

This time you shushed him and kissed him back. His arms finding a way on your hips and your arms grabbing his hair to deepen the kiss.

After a few seconds you both pulled away, out of breath. Your fourheads touching eachother and your noses brushing eachother.

"That was- wow."

You said with a small smile.

Chuuya chuckled lightly.

"I won't go easy on you now if we meet again y/n."

"Oh i'm counting on it."

You grinned. Wanting to make this night last longer. He pulled you in for a kiss again and you let him. Nothing making you happier as you are right now.

Little did you two forbidden lovers know that a brunette man was staring contently as his assumptions were right.

----

Sorry it took so long :,)

[imasimpforshanks]

hiii, how are you? may i ask angst alphabet for Ace? thank you ❤️

Angst Alphabet - Portgas D. Ace

a/n: hi hi!! here you go! OMG angst is still really hard LOL I don’t want to think about their rough life 😔😔😔😔😔 ANYWHOOOOO thank you for requesting and I hope you enjoy<3

warnings: on the letter S there is mention of self harm

A-Accident (would they blame themselves if you died in an accident?)

Ace would definitely blame himself. He’s always thought he was a no-good demon child, son of a criminal that didn’t deserve to be alive (despite finding people that truly cared and loved him). You dying in an accident and him not being able to do anything about it would just reinforce what he already thinks of himself.

Regardless of your cause of death he is likely to attribute it to your association with himself, and because of that he will think it is entirely his fault, even if he wasn’t present at the time of your death.

B-Break up (How would they break up with you?)

His lessons with Makino really helped him develop manners and just a general sense of acceptable behaviour. So, Ace would just be clear and up front, no mixed messages, no miscommunication. He would take you some place quiet and away from others, and then he would be as honest and vulnerable as possible – it’s the least you deserve. The break-up would be very civil, you would definitely end on good terms (doesn’t make it any less sad though).

C-Crying (how would they make you cry?)

Sometimes Ace can take his teasing a little too far. Usually you can handle it, but there are just some days where his words cut deeper than ever intended (even if they have no malice behind them). It’s not his fault you’re having a bad day, or not realizing you are having a bad day. It’s just one of those things that happens sometimes. As soon as you start to cry though, he apologizes and reassures you so much, to make sure you known he doesn’t mean it and he’s only playing around.

D-Death (how would they react to your death?)

It would start out with a lot of confusion, like “what t-that must be some kind of a sick joke. H-how… w-what… they wouldn’t just die like that.” After it really sinks in that you have in fact died, Ace will just get angry. I don’t see him as much of a crier (spoiler alert – we only see him truly allow himself to cry on two occasions 1) when luffy got crazy hurt as a child and 2) when ace was on deaths door), so I believe he would react with anger.

Regardless of your cause of death (natural causes, accident, died in battle etc.) Ace would be unbelievably angry with himself, the world and you. He would be angry at himself for being unable to save you, someone he cares about and loves deeply. He would be angry at the world and whatever higher being there may be for choosing now to be your time. There are so many horrible, horrible people in the world, yet you had to die? It makes no sense. Lastly, he would be angry at you. Not a genuine anger but more so a “how could you just leave me like this? We were meant to be together forever.”

E-Emotion (what is one emotion they would try to hide the most and how would they do it?)

I think Ace tends to try his sadness. He tries to put on a brave face, not wanting anyone to see him cry as he doesn’t want to be viewed as weak or be even more of a burden on others.

F-Fight (how often do you fight? What do you fight about? Do you fight often? Etc.)

Fights with Ace, although they don’t happen often, can quickly get out of hand. He’s stubborn and his inability to accept that he’s not always right can cause a minor disagreement to escalate into an all-out fight. On a few occasions you have argued about him never turning his back on an opponent.

Your fights tend to be followed by cooldown time. Things can get quite heated (no pun intended) so you need some alone time and space to breathe. After that though, you comeback together and apologize.

G-Guilt (what is the biggest thing they feel guilty about?)

For his entire life, Ace has lived with the guilt of simply existing. He doesn’t think himself worthy of being alive. Can you blame him? It’s all anyone ever told him growing up. Despite eventually finding people who loved him for him, those feelings of inadequacy and worthlessness still remain and continue to plague his mind.

H-Heartbreak (what would cause them pain in the relationship? How would they deal during a break-up?)

During a break-up Ace is quiet. He doesn’t want to be around anyone or anything. He wants to be left completely alone so he can sort out his thoughts and feelings. He’d be quite devasted because he’s had so few people in his life love him on as deep a level as you did.

I-Injured (how would they react if you are badly injured?)

Ace would absolutely lose it if you were injured. He’d be concerned, upset, and angry all at once. First things first, he needs to know if you are going to be ok. Once that’s been established, he’ll be upset at himself for allowing this to happen. This will be replaced by the pure anger he feels at whoever, or whatever, caused this.

J-Jealousy (what do they do if they are jealous?)

When he gets jealous he turns into such a man child. He’s pouting and moping around while mumbling to himself. He develops quite a petty attitude. If you were to ask him “want to go get something to eat?” he’d respond with “why don’t you just go and ask ____ for some food.” But, as soon as you begin commenting on how jealous he’s acting he’s going to deny it to the end of his days.

K-Kill (would they kill for revenge?)

Ace literally hunted down Blackbeard so he could get revenge on him for killing Thatch. It’s not certain whether or not Ace had the intention of killing Blackbeard, however, he definitely had both the spirit and anger to go through with killing him. So, it is possible that Ace would kill for revenge. However, for the most part, he would prefer to just beat them senseless.

L-Loss (what is their greatest loss?)

Either Sabo or his mother’s death, would be considered Ace’s greatest loss. His mother died when he was a new-born, so he doesn’t particularly remember, or know, anything about her other than the fact that she was a kind wonderful woman. However, the loss of Sabo is something he remembers vividly. Losing Sabo had a major impact on Ace. It was an unfortunate wake up call as to how awful the world truly is.

M-Mistake (what is the worst mistake they ever made with you?)

One night, after a particularly bad day filled with a horrible series of events, Ace was letting off some steam (quite literally I suppose). Messing with his devil fruit power, throwing some flames around. He hadn’t noticed your presence and so his flames nearly burnt you. He was horrified, and he only felt worse after he noticed the pure terror in your eyes.

N-Nightmares (how often do they have them? What are they about? How do they deal with it?

Ace has nightmares frequently, they vary, but they all have the same underlying theme, that is, the people in his life don’t actually care about him and only view him the same way everyone else views the son of the pirate kind – a worthless devil with no right to life. He wakes up from his dreams in a sweat and finds himself in desperate need of fresh air (ya know to try and clear his mind). He ends up just sitting out on the deck of the Moby Dick looking up at the sky trying to tell himself it was all a dream. But his insecurity and self-doubt begin to resurface and soon he can’t discern imagination from reality. However, the moment someone else on the crew even speaks to Ace with something as simple as a “morning dude” he’s brought back down to earth and thinks to himself “no that’s right…. They love me… I wouldn’t be here right now if they didn’t.”

It’s a vicious cycle, but in the end, he manages to remember (even if it’s just for a little bit) that he is cherished.

O-Outrage (how and why would they get mad at you?)

When you continuously tell him there’s no need to stay and fight every single opponent. It’s okay to turn and runaway – in fact it’s safer to do that. When you say that he feels as though you don’t understand him. He’s not some careless, impulsive child who’s just looking for a fight (okay maybe he is a little bit). So he doesn’t really get super angry, it’s more so that he is frustrated and a little upset that you don’t try to see it from his perspective.

P-Past (what has happened in your relationship that changed the way you saw each other?)

It’s the same as the worst mistake he’s ever made with you – nearly burning you with his devil fruit. It made you realize that Ace can actually be quite dangerous (although you know he would NEVER hurt you intentionally). It made Ace realize that he needs to be more careful, the look of pure terror in your eyes has stayed with him ever since that incident, serving as a reminder.

Q-Quality (what is their most dangerous/toxic quality?)

His tendency to not back down from a fight is simultaneously his most endearing and toxic trait. He constantly places himself in dangerous situations with minimal concern for his own safety.

R-Rejection (how would they react to you rejecting their confession (or the other way around))

Having his confession rejected by you was definitely a blow to his self-esteem, but he respected and accepted your feelings. Instead of moping around about it he decides to laugh it off, trying to make light of a slightly disappointing situation.

S-Scars (battle or self-inflicted)

Ace does not have any scars, battle related or self-inflicted.

TW self-harm: I do think ace got worryingly close to self-harming, but Sabo and Luffy made him rethink it all.

T-Trust (have they ever broken your trust?)

The one and only time Ace broke your trust was after Blackbeards betrayal. You made him promise to take you with him when he left to hunt down Blackbeard because you didn’t want him to go alone. He promised but he had no intention of keeping that promise.

U-Urge (how badly do they want to see you after you guys separated?)

For a while Ace manages to get by by keeping himself preoccupied. But as soon as he lets up for even a minute, he realizes how much he misses you and is beyond tempted to just sail on back to wherever you are and tackle you to the ground plastering your face in lil kisses. When he’s not distracted, he really does miss you a lot. He hyper-fixates on what you could be doing at this very moment, whether or not you miss him too etc.

V-Vicious (what do they do when they lash out on you?)

When ace gets mad, he tends to get very loud. He raises his voice quite a lot and it becomes very, very frightening. He would never physically hurt you, but the anger and frustration in his voice is more than another to scare the shit out of you.

W-Weak (what makes them feel weak how do they try to avoid it?)

Constantly being reminded or associated with the Pirate King. Maybe it doesn’t make him feel weak, but it makes him feel horrible inside and stirs up a lot of feelings and remarks people would make when he was younger. Unfortunately, once word gets out there isn’t much Ace can do to stop this from happening, however, before this, Ace avoided this by not telling ANYONE. He only told Luffy and Sabo, with a very small handful of others knowing (i.e Garp).

X-X-ray (what do they hate and show it most obviously?)

He hates turning his back on a fight or turning his back on people that talk shit about those he cares about. This is seen during the Marineford arc. He doesn’t let Akainus words about Whitebeard slide. He doesn’t runaway. He has no tolerance for that shit.

Y-Yearn (what is one thing that they want but can’t have?)

Ok this may be dark as hell but, Ace just wants to not feel like a burden to the world. He wants to be viewed as something different/separate from his father, but he can’t change history.

Z-Zero (what do they do/say in your dying moments?)

He doesn’t let you go. He’ll hold on to you until he is forcefully separated from your body. He just starts to spout a lot of nonsense – things don’t make sense at all, but he can’t help it right now. He can’t think properly when you’re about to leave him. He just wants you to stay.

[novelconcepts]

omg can you do a print of damie in canon just interacting with flora bc i would love that

She’s lost Flora. 

There is, Dani thinks with the forced calm of one already beginning to spiral, little cause to panic. The house is big, but it’s not that big--and Flora is a good kid. She’s not exactly prone to just wandering off. She certainly wouldn’t, say, vanish from sight and reappear somewhere unexpected, suddenly acting like she didn’t entirely remember the time in between.

That doesn’t sound like Flora at all.

She isn’t running, per se, from room to room. Running would suggest there is a problem to be handled, and if she starts thinking along those lines--if she starts obsessing about Flora’s distinctly off-putting way of gazing over her shoulder, of saying things just a little too odd to be hand-waved away, of looking at Dani as though she can see straight through her to the unease thrumming under the surface--well. That way lies nothing useful. Nothing at all.

“Have you seen Flora?” The kitchen had seemed a good bet. Here, after all, is Owen, puttering away over the ingredients for the evening’s meal, his mood somber as he uses the manor to avoid reflecting on his mother’s upcoming funeral. Here is Hannah, dutifully rearranging the china, pretending not to steal glances at Owen’s lanky frame every few seconds. That spot at the table is made for Flora, little legs hanging off the chair, brimming with questions--

But Flora isn’t there, and Owen is shaking his head. 

“Not since lunch. Lost her, have you?”

No, she almost snaps. A count of three, a long-held breath; she smiles tightly, reminding herself that this is not Owen’s fault, nor Owen’s job. The children will be your responsibility alone, after all. 

“She’s quick,” she says instead. Hannah purses her lips.

“Perhaps upstairs with Miles?”

She isn’t. Miles, bent over a book with a solemn expression, blinks up at her as though she’s dragged him by the shirt collar out of the actual wardrobe to Narnia. 

“She asked me to color--what time is it?”

“Two,” Dani says, sparing the briefest glance for her watch. He shrugs. 

“An hour ago, I think? I told her to ask Hannah.” A flash of concern crosses his face, a too-adult creasing of brow. “Was that wrong? I just wanted to finish my book--”

“It’s fine,” Dani assures him, ruffling his hair. Too-adult, his expression may be, but this is the most kid she’s seen Miles in days. The last thing she wants is to dissuade him from reading, or from the loose sprawl of his posture. 

An hour, though. In the days since coming to Bly, Dani can’t remember twenty minutes passing without Flora turning up underfoot. 

Outside, she thinks with another swell of barely-restrained panic. She’s outside. By the lake, probably, where Flora can so often be found keeping company with dolls and talismans and snatches of ethereal song. 

It isn’t exactly a reassuring thought, particularly with summer rain sluicing down the windows, scattering over the roof like pellets. A storm, it isn’t, but an eight-year-old girl has no business wandering in weather like this. 

You'd have loved it, at her age, Dani reminds herself. There’s nothing at all wrong with a little girl puddle-jumping for the sheer joy of it. Flora probably got bored, cooped up with a bunch of busy adults and her brother uninterested in playing games. She’s fine. She’s almost certainly fine.

An umbrella is waiting beside the door, still damp from Owen’s trip in before breakfast. Dani takes a breath, pops it open, steels herself for the brisk wind. 

The grounds are gray, the puddles turning the grass to a squelchy mess beneath her shoes. She keeps her head up, her eyes carefully turned away from the puddles which sit like recklessly-dropped mirrors at every turn; if she so much as glances down and spots a flash of glasses, she’s not sure she’ll be able to keep her composure. 

Flora is not by the lake, as it turns out. Nor the statue gardens. Nor the rose bushes. Flora is nowhere, she’s starting to think, and her mind is finally turning toward the worst--toward the depth of that lake, how easily a small girl might slip off the embankment and tumble headlong into its hungry waves without notice--when she remembers the greenhouse.

Jamie will help. The thought rises without warning, a solid patch of sunlight at the center of the storm. Jamie will help--because Jamie knows every corner of these grounds as well as her own hands. Jamie, who maybe doesn’t know Dani all that well, but didn’t seem to mind offering gentle reassurance, exchanging unexpectedly deep conversation on the couch...or Dani taking her hand in the dark. Jamie, who had said, Who the hell knew? Jamie, who had worn an expression a little like awe.

They haven’t had time to talk about it since, but even so. Even so, for Flora, Jamie is sure to--

She hesitates at the door, fist raised to knock. It feels foolish, rapping on the entry to a greenhouse like it’s Jamie’s own bedroom--but this is, she reasons, as close to Jamie’s home as she’s ever likely to get. 

“Jamie, are you...”

“Here,” her voice comes from somewhere just out of sight. Dani takes a cautious step in out of the rain, jostling the umbrella and pulling it hastily shut. Best not to invite bad luck--she’s certainly already had her share. 

“I’m looking for Flora,” she calls, feeling a bit silly. There’s so much going on in this room--plants and tables, pots and a variety of outdoor furniture draped with old blankets. Normally, Jamie is easy to spot amid the riot of greens and pinks, her hands busy coaxing seedlings to life. Today, Dani feels as though she’s tripped and fallen into a game of hide and seek. 

“Don’t have to look far,” Jamie’s voice comes again--from behind the sofa, Dani thinks. “C’mere.”

“Miss Clayton!” Flora pipes up, and Dani feels the tension leave her body in a violent rush. Her hand grips the nearest table for support, her eyes closing in relief. “Come color with us”

“Come--sorry?” She can’t have heard right. Jamie? Jamie the gardener, putting aside work and temper to waste an afternoon on crayons?

Yes--yes, that appears to be exactly what Jamie is doing. Sprawled on her stomach, still dressed in her coveralls, she’s got a blue crayon in hand and a green one tucked behind her ear. She glances up as Dani steps nearer, a smile lighting her face. 

“Kid came stumbling in out of the rain an hour ago. Expect she didn’t think to warn you in advance?”

“Sorry.” Flora offers a sheepish smile, sitting up quickly. “Are you very cross?”

“No, of course not.” Just going to need a minute to purge the image of finding you facedown in the goddamned lake, is all. “Next time, though, you’ll have to tell me you’re leaving the house alone. I need to know where you are at all times, Flora.”

She expects Jamie to scoff at this--to say, Ah, she was with me, she’s fine. Instead, Jamie stretches over to land a sharp flick on Flora’s upper arm. 

“Rude to make Poppins worry. Look, she’s gone all pink.” She looks up at Dani, grinning. “Not a bad look, if we’re in the market for honesty.”

Dani suspects pink is the lightest shade she can manage, with Jamie gazing at her that way. It’s too easy, all of a sudden, to remember an unexpectedly soft hand under her own fingers, Jamie turning reflexively at the wrist to hold her back. 

“I’m terribly sorry,” Flora says, a phrase Dani is starting to think is more Flora than even perfectly splendid. “Here--I was just about to do one of you!”

Jamie gestures with the blue crayon, a silent suggestion for Dani to sit beside her. “Might as well. Rain doesn’t look like it’s letting up anytime soon.” She lowers her voice, eyes fixed on Flora’s determined rummage through the crayon box. “Sorry about that, Poppins. Know she’s been unpredictable lately, didn’t like the idea of her stumping around in the cold. If I’d known you were worried--”

“It’s all right.” In truth, she’s glad Flora made her way out here. Growing more pleased by the moment with this development, really, as Jamie slides a blank sheet of paper in front of her and presses a purple crayon into her hand. 

“Join us. We’re doing portraiture.”

“I can see that,” Dani laughs. Jamie’s handiwork speaks of a distinct lack of care for detail--each sketch on her page is, at best, a stick figure with a single defining feature. “How does Owen hold up his head, carrying a mustache the size of his torso?”

“With minimal decorum,” Jamie says, grinning. “And she’s right, it’s your turn.”

Dani suspects she’s going less pink, more a volatile shade of maroon, with both parties squinting at her face, their papers, her face again. Flora is doing her very best work, taking several minutes just to select the closest shades of blue, yellow, pink. Jamie makes an enormous production of holding up a crayon, closing one eye, gauging proportions--and then, cheerfully, scrawling a figure identical to the other four already on the page. 

“I’m taller than Hannah?” Dani asks, unable to resist a giggle. Jamie frowns.

“Ah, you’re...standin’ on a crate.” She adds a box beneath Dani’s non-existent feet with a flourish, nodding. “There. It’s symbolic.”

“Of what?”

“I’ve ranked you all on how much I like you. Takin’ into account, of course, certain accusations pointed my way regarding mud and shiny floorboards.” Jamie winks. Dani finds herself gripping her crayon almost hard enough to hurt. 

“You’re not drawing, Miss Clayton!” Flora observes. Dani glances away from Jamie’s smile--a difficult act only a few days ago, nearly impossible now--and clears her throat. 

“Well. Maybe just until the rain stops.”

There are, she thinks as a comfortable quiet settles over the greenhouse, infinitely worse ways to spend her afternoon. 

[7wanderingpaws]

Mess We Made - fourth/last (m)

(gif not mine)

Pairing: Baekhyun x reader

Genre: arranged marriage au (not bbh), doctor AU, angst, fluff

Words: 7.5K

WARNINGS: language, mentions of blood, mature content, cheating (not bbh)

Quick A/N: Hiii! Im gonna hide... Ive never written sth like this omg. (pls let me know your thoughts). This is the final part so I feel accomplished I wrote such long chapters in such a short time >< 

tags: @byunfirstlady @blackon @puppyeoliepop @in3vitably3v3​ @mangobaek @bobohumyonlyboo @wooya1224 @exortedgoods @gureuma (if you want to be tagged/untagged please reply to this post)

parts: first – second – third -- fourth (last)

masterlist

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Mess We Made, last part

“What the hell did you think you were doing in the hospital?” you attacked him as soon as you arrived home after two days.

Frankly Minheob didn’t come to visit you anymore although you overheard some nurses gossiping that he went several times to the doctor’s office and had a chat with doctor Kim. As much as you wished to know why he would go the great lengths to try to tie you down, you also couldn’t care less as long as he didn’t come and see you.

Minheob frowned at you as he watched you cradle Hayeon. “Do you think I don’t know?”

“Don’t know what?”

He stepped closer to you and you wanted to move backwards but the baby’s crib was behind you, successfully caging you in. He grinned nastily. “Well, you really are so clueless. As soon as I found out your lover is also in that hospital, I rushed in to get you. You doing miscarriage and daring to cheat on me at the same time?” He scoffed. “That is unheard of.”

Your heart rate sped up at his words. There was no way you cheated on him. Baekhyun did come several times to check up on you, sometimes you even swore he was there while you were sleeping and felt something soft brushing your cheek, but you never did anything more than what a doctor and a patient would do. Did Minheob know about Baekhyun? If he did then how did he find out?

Minheob laughed out loud at your shocked expression, and reached out to caress Hayeon’s hair but you moved her away from his touch. “She is my daughter too, you know.”

“How dare you accuse me of cheating on you,” you muttered sternly, trying to keep your voice down so as not to trigger the baby.

“Well, then let me put you into perspective because the past year you’ve been amazingly oblivious.” He made a dramatic pause and you almost lost all your wits. He took a deep breath and like a snake, licked his lips in mischief. “How many times have you moaned his name when you were coming, huh?” he whispered, carefully watching you from up close. “How many times have you thought it was him instead of me? You were so full of him while in bed with me... What made you ever think I wouldn’t find out that you still kept in touch with him?”

Blood drained from your face and you knew you were done for. And Baekhyun too. Your stupid mistake would bring him into this huge mess that you created again.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you dared to lie through gritted teeth and hugged your baby even tighter. “Nor do I care what your twisted mind came up with, Minheob.”

He laughed, stepping away from you. “So this is the way you want to act? I will gladly moan out his name for you, maybe then you would remember?” he asked with a low tone.

You started walking towards the kitchen, deciding to mix the baby formula so that Hayeon could eat. You were not breastfeeding her, you only did so for two weeks before you gave up. Your breasts took too long to bring out the milk and even if they did, it was bloody. Another reason to be miserable. You couldn’t even feed your child.

“Stop pretending you didn’t hear me,” snickered your husband and grabbed your wrist, yanking you back to him.

You gasped, holding Hayeon tighter. “I didn’t cheat on you!”

“I don’t give a fuck whether you did or not! You just stayed in hospital for two days for nothing because he wanted you there!”

When you opened your mouth to retort something, he muttered: “Baekhyun wanted to keep you there for himself, didn’t he? Good way to make use of you,” he snarled. “A woman that lost her child. He could still fuck you over-“

Your hand flew out before you could think twice, landing a stinking slap on Minheob’s face. “Get him out of your filthy mouth,” you muttered lowly, sending him death glares. Minheob was shocked just for a moment before he was about to rebuke, but you beat him to it: “Baekhyun has nothing to do with me. Stop blaming innocent people-“

“I cannot believe you had me fooled! I had his best friend stalked to make sure he wouldn’t make moves on you, the Park Chanyeol kid, and then it was the fucking doctor the whole time!” he shouted but you didn’t flinch, only proudly noted how his cheek was becoming redder with each passing second.

“I never fooled you,” you answered, “it’s you who does the dirty job. Leave Baekhyun alone.”

“I can see how angry you are becoming. Protecting your secret lover.”

“He is not my secret lover.”

“I can see the way you are looking at me right now. You hate even the idea of me saying his name, don’t you? You hate your entire family for making you marry me when you could have him-“

“Enough.”

“But you’re stuck with me and he will most probably find another woman-“

“I said enough!” you screamed loudly, successfully making Hayeon cry in your arms while your husband had a victorious smile on his face. He paused for a moment and pushed his hands into the pockets of his jeans. Turning away from you, he said: “Good luck taking care of that weeping machine. It’s annoying. I’ll be out.”

When you heard the door slam, you felt your cheeks burning up with anger while the tears you didn’t know you were keeping in, spilled. Quickly shushing Hayeon, you went over to grab the formula as you originally wanted to, while sniffing.

“C‘mon, Hayeon, don’t cry,” you tried gently but she was relentless.

You didn’t want her to be scarred by the toxic relationship you had with her father. Everyday you tried your best to be good for her and make her happy so that she would grow up well. But having Minheob breathing down your neck was making it hard.

It was almost one hour later, Hayeon still slowly sucking on the milk from her bottle while you had the big TV turned on with a comedy show when the doorbell rang.

Sighing tiredly, you walked over to the intercom to check the camera, and your heartbeat sped up when you noticed Baekhyun’s profile as he was waiting for you to let him in.

What the hell was he doing here? He shouldn’t be here!

Despite your racing thoughts, you let him in and walked over to the doors with Hayeon in your arms. She was tapping on your chest with her small hands as she was looking at you with huge eyes.

You were cooing to her softly, hoping it would ease your nerves. And it did. You didn’t hear Baekhyun approaching, only realizing his presence when he was two meters from you, casually leaning his shoulder against the wall, his arms pushed in his dark-blue jeans, and observing you with a warm, gentle smile. It made your heart skip a beat.

“Baekhyun,” you breathed and he lazily stretched his lips before walking over to you, standing a tad too close as he was looking down at your daughter.

“Being a mother really suits you,” he murmured softly, looking up to catch you staring.

Quickly recovering, you blurted: “You shouldn’t be here, Baek. I’m not sure when my husband will be back-“

“He won’t be coming for a while, don’t worry,” he replied calmly.

You frowned. “Did he go after you?” Just the idea made you dizzy with worry.

Baekhyun chuckled, taking in your expression. “No, but he is with doctor Kim.”

You frowned.

“Won’t you let me in?”

“Ah, right,” you stammered and moved aside, letting him in. You weren’t sure you wanted him to see the place you’d been living in with another man that wasn’t him. Baekhyun looked out of place as you followed him to the spacious living room. “Please, sit down. What can I get you?”

He did as you asked and looked at you with expectant eyes. He smiled sheepishly. “This is probably too much but… do you maybe have wine?”

“I do but… aren’t you driving?”

“My brother will come and pick me up. He is nearby doing some business.”

You nodded. “I’ll have a glass with you, too. Just let me put her-“

“I can hold her,” he offered smoothly which made you stop. “Only if you don’t mind. I’ve held quite a few babies,” he grinned proudly.

Smiling, you gladly handed him Hayeon and gave him her little bottle. You realized you were too close because when you glanced up, Baekhyun’s nose almost brushed yours. Pulling away, you turned to go when he asked: “Aren’t you breastfeeding? You shouldn’t drink.”

Preparing two wine glasses, you told him you weren’t. He was silent and when you came out with the glasses and two kinds of bottles he looked up at you holding the options up for him.

“Red,” he said with a smile.

You nodded and poured the both of you a glass and faced him. Humming, you noted: “Being with a baby suits you.”

He smiled knowingly. “Oh, yeah? Well… this one looks a lot like you, to be honest.” He gave a loving caress to Hayeon’s head and you felt your heart squeezing painfully.

“Luckily.” You cleared your throat. “What brings you here?”

Baekhyun cooed at Hayeon a little bit longer before he murmured, catching your eyes. “I was worried… he would do something to you.”

“But you never cared before.”

“That’s not true and you know it.”

You bit your lip. “Why is he with doctor Kim again?”

Baekhyun pressed his lips for a moment, thinking over your question. “He is…” he let out a perplexed laugh, as if unsure what to say, “I don’t know how to put it in words.”

Baekhyun earned your full attention now. “What do you mean?”

“He is in love with doctor Kim.”

Your mouth fell open, the news catching you off guard. “H-he what?”

“Shh,” he shushed gently like he always did with you, and nodded towards Hayeon who was drifting off to sleep in his arms. Your heart squeezed painfully once again, the sight was bittersweet. Your child in his arms. “I found out today too. He had been visiting her for a long time. Turns out they have known each other since high school.”

That sounded awfully familiar. “And now he is trying to get her?”

Baekhyun shrugged once and looked down at Hayeon, her eyes peacefully closed but still diligently sucking on the last droplets of milk. “Maybe?”

“And here I thought he went there to stalk me.”

He turned his head towards you. “Does it matter whether he actually wants doctor Kim?” he asked quietly, the unvoiced actual question palpable in his voice. Do you love your husband enough to be hurt that he wants another woman?

“I feel sorry for her,” was your blunt answer. “But if that means he will change I wish he would ditch me.” You looked Baekhyun in the eyes. “I’ve been wanting this whole nightmare to end for two years, Baekhyun. Two years of being completely helpless, not even able to see you properly. I want him to ditch me and I want to be with you.”

He was listening to you carefully, his eyes sometimes drifting to your lips and the way they shaped when you pronounced some words. “If I told you I have someone else…”

Within seconds your eyes burned up in despair. “No, you don’t.”

Without an answer, he was looking at you; observing the way your cheeks became red along with your nose while your eyes were full of unshed tears. You were so beautiful even after miscarriage. You were ethereal in his eyes even though he just made you cry. Now that Baekhyun thought about it, he didn't remember the last time he saw a genuine smile on your face; it was always either a tired, insincere smile or crying. If he only saw you like that, how many times must have you cried when he wasn't there?

“Please don’t tell me you have someone else,” you whispered when he wouldn't answer.

“It's only natural I would find someone else,” he reasoned matter-of-factly but in a gentle tone so as not to upset you.

“And you came here to tell me this?”

Baekhyun was helpless. He knew your jealousy could be blinding, but he thought with time it would simmer down. “I didn't come here to talk about my private life-”

You snorted sarcastically. “Right. Your private life is how we call it now?” You reached out for sleeping Hayeon and took her into your arms. Without a word you walked to the bedroom. In case you would become even more emotional, you didn't want her to wake. You heard Baekhyun shuffling after you, a conflicting gaze following your every more.

He waited by the door, silently watching you putting Hayeon into her crib. With teary eyes, you observed your daughter a little longer, thinking how wrong everything was at that moment before facing your guest.

Baekhyun didn't move when you closed the door behind you, instead he took hold of your wrist to make you look at him. “I'm sorry. It all came out so wrong.”

“You have nothing to apologize for,” you said evenly. “It's your private life and it's none of my business. Which means you may go. Now that you made sure I wasn't dying on the bedroom floor - because you really care about my well-being - it's time to leave.”

Baekyhun was slowly losing his patience. “Stop acting so freaking stubborn.”

More tears welled up in your eyes. “You are right. So leave. I want to be alone.”

He sighed when you tried to push his hand away. “Sweethea-” he stopped himself, biting quickly into his lower lip. Your heartbeat sped up but then he murmured your name softly and you deflated again. “I didn't mean I'm in a relationship.”

“Then what did you mean?” you pressed.

“I was with other women while I wasn't with you. That's all,” he replied truthfully. “I haven't been in a relationship ever since you left me.”

“But you slept with other women,” you finished.

He nodded, staring into your eyes with pure honesty. He had his heart on his sleeve for you, and you still couldn't help the boiling feelings of betrayal. Maybe it was because you were still recovering from the happenings of the past three days or maybe it was just the way you would always feel when Baekhyun was with another woman, be it romantically or purely physically.

“I still don't get why you are telling me this. I still don't understand why you had to come here now, out of all the times.”

“I want you back,” he whispered. “Even though it is impossible, I want you back. With everything you are.” Your breath hitched in your throat and your heart restarted its wild beating. “It's so fucking difficult to keep my hands off of you, to not touch you, to not be there for you when I know you don't have anyone else to turn to and share your burdens with. I know your asshole of a husband mistreats you with your entire family helping him out. I'm tired of it and if it means going against all the rules, then so be it.”

Hope was making your eyes come alive, he could see it. Even though they were teary, hope sparked through and Baekhyun felt relieved.

“Are you doing this now because you know Minheob has feelings for another woman?”

He was shocked. “W-what? No, it isn't about it-”

“Yes, you are,” you said, not even listening to him, “you wouldn't have come here if my husband wouldn't be seeing doctor Kim right now. Otherwise-”

“No, wait, listen to me-”

“You wouldn't fight for me if it weren't for-”

He murmured your name in warning. “Listen-”

“I can't believe you-”

“For Christ's sake just listen-”

“Make me.”

Baekhyun was furious. Both of you were staring down each other, both of you hurt and desperate. “Make me listen, Baekhyun,” you said again with a steely voice and he grabbed your face and crashed his lips on yours. You let out a moan, his lips so soft against yours despite the kiss being anything but soft. He cradled your face and you didn't waste time in bringing your arms around his neck, bringing him closer. You heard Baekhyun inhale sharply as he sucked on your lower lip before licking it, asking for entrance. He growled when you complied but would fight him for dominance. It was a game of push and pull and he pressed you against the wall next to the bedroom door; the room which you shared with someone that wasn't Baekhyun.

It was thrilling, exciting and you wanted more. Baekhyun tasted much sweeter than you could remember and there wasn't a chance that you'd get enough. When it came to him, it was never enough for you. Thirstily, you pressed your middle to his, causing him to grunt while he sucked on your tongue, his hands on your neck to angle your face for him. You could feel your lips were already swollen but you didn't care. Your hands were buried in his hair, messing it up, pulling on it as you wanted more. More, more, more. You wanted him to devour you, to take you and to never return you.

But it was still Baekhyun. This was unfair to him. And so he was the first one to disattach, pulling away from you slightly to press his forehead against yours while the both of you were panting. You looked at his lips, the way the skin around them was turning a gentle pink, his lips particularly red. God, you loved those lips and how cutely they were shaped.

He caressed your jaw with his thumb, bringing your attention up to his droopy eyes. “I love you,” he confessed.

Your throat went dry for a second. It was like reliving all your happy memories with him all over again. “I love you, too, Baekhyun,” you replied, making sure you were staring into his eyes.

A soft smile spread on his face and he leaned in to kiss you again but stopped just before his lower lip could touch your upper one. “We shouldn't do this, though. You are married, have a baby and it's not right.”

“You already kissed me,” you urged him, not sparing even a heartbeat to think about his words, “it won't make a difference if you do it one more time.” You raised yourself on your tiptoes and kissed him before he could retaliate. He moaned so subtly it almost made your knees buckle. His hands travelled souther, caressing your shoulders before they went to your back where he drew sensual circles, making you feel all sorts of inappropriate things. You dared to bring your hands to the hem of his shirt that was tucked into his jeans and pull it out, wanting to feel his skin under. He let out another moan when he felt your fingertips trailing the outline of his abs- wait, abs?

You pulled away. “Since when are you so ripped?” you breathed which made him chuckle. You lifted his shirt slightly to see that he had a freaking six-pack. Your mouth went agape, but you still felt Baekhyun's hand on the sliver of skin that showed between your jeans and shirt. He didn't dare to go further than that, though.

“Where else can I use my frustrations if not in the gym, hm,” he murmured in a low voice that made your insides squeeze with want.

You rested your head against the wall, looking at him with content. “I caused it all. I'm sorry.”

He sighed and stepped closer, one leg between yours as he cradled your cheek. “I knew from the start it would go like this, you know. Don't apologize.”

“I'm still sorry 'cause I never should have made you go through the things that me and my terrible family did.” You paused for a moment. “Let's start over, together,” you suggested eagerly. “Let's run away.”

Baekhyun took a deep breath. “You know that isn't possible, love.”

“It is,” you insisted, “of course it is. Let's just disappear and not let anyone know.”

“I have to make a living. And I love my job. You need to take care of your daughter as well.”

“So is that a no? Even if I get a divorce and a chance to start over… is that a no?” you asked quietly.

“Look, doctor Kim knows about us. She knows about our relationship because I couldn't focus whenever I knew you were in the clinic. My behavior gave me away and she is a great senior that understood me well. She was the one to tell me to come here and she called your husband over. I'm sure she is lecturing him.”

“What?”

“Yeah,” he nodded, running his thumb over the naked skin of your hip. “I'm sure with time, we can slowly start over again, hm?” he prompted gently, tapping your skin a few times. “Time is all we need.”

“I have to wait more to have you?” You were being greedy. You knew you were. But you couldn't help yourself.

“We waited a long time for each other,” he breathed, “we can wait a little longer. Doctor Kim will help us.”

“Then kiss me one last time. To seal it,” you demanded. “As a promise that you will come back to me, Baekhyun.”

And Baekhyun did.

///

It had been weeks now that you found out about Minheob having feelings for the kind doctor Kim. You weren't sure if it was because you were aware of it, but Minheob seemed to become less interested in you overall. He didn't call you when you were busy with the shop, he didn't care if you came home a little later, and not once mentioned Baekhyun to you anymore. It was almost as if that argument never happened.

Even though that seemed to get better, you were still sour because Baekhyun kept the contact between you two quite limited even though he said he wanted you. Sometimes you would exchange texts, because you couldn't keep still; your need to know what he was doing, how he was doing and where he was, was stronger.

It could have been frustrating and maybe now you got a taste of how he must have been feeling the entire time after your break-up. You expecting him to be alone and wait for something to happen was so greedy it made you feel embarrassed. Of course he would have found a woman for pleasure.

You weren't disappointed; hurt maybe because you despised any idea of him being with another woman. After all, you wanted to be the only one to know how he was like in bed, how he would treat a woman after the love-making was done.

You groaned gently, the intruding thoughts not doing you any good. Plus, you were on your period. Maybe you shouldn't have thought about it too much. He confirmed he still loved you and that was all that mattered.

It was almost four months later, your relationship and communication with Minheob almost non-existent and Hayeon a curious toddler, when Minheob said a sentence you never thought you would hear:

“I want a divorce.”

You swiveled around from where you were sitting on the carpeted floor, watching over Hayeon while your tablet was sitting in your lap, going through the new lingerie sets that were supposed to arrive anytime soon. With it, finally, the “unlock, bbh” one as well.

“What?”

“You heard me,” he sighed, sitting on the sofa, emotionlessly looking at an ever-bright Hayeon. “I want to divorce you.”

You were silent, carefully thinking over what to reply next. Maybe you didn't seem as shocked to him as he would have expected you to, but he didn't care at that point.

“I am with another woman. And I want to become a better person for her.”

“I see…”

He rolled his eyes. “At least pretend like you're shocked.” “I am, Minheob. You never told me you are seeing someone else.”

“Just like you never told me you are cheating on me with that doctor of yours.”

“I never-” you started, offended, but all too quickly you remembered kissing Baekhyun in that very house. Minheob couldn't have known about that, though. “I didn't cheat on you. Not like that.”

He let out a dishonest laugh and looked away. “Either way, it doesn't matter anymore. I want it to be as soon as possible.”

“What about Hayeon? She is your daughter.” Minheob didn't care about Hayeon, you knew it. He barely ever tried to initiate anything with her, let alone ask if the baby was doing well.

“Yeah,” he rolled his eyes, “you couldn't even give me a boy. It had to be a daughter.”

You puckered your lips, trying hard not to pick a fight. “I'm sick and tired of you being a misogynistic prick,” you told him in a calm voice. “She is a healthy child and you should be fucking thankful.” You turned to look at Hayeon who was playing with huge baby-safe lego pieces. “I will raise her to become much more badass than any man ever will.”

“Sure, you will.” He was silent for a while. “I will try better. I will take care of my part on her behalf, of course. And the matter with your family - they are all to stay just as usual.”

Not turning to look at him, you hummed. “Good way to become a better person, Minheob.”

“I'll deal with all the paperwork. Let's get everything settled by next week. Since we both agree on divorce.”

Sudden eagerness ignited your hope to be with Baekhyun much earlier than you anticipated. Just the idea of it made you feel elevated.

“And about this house…”

You turned your head to look at your soon-to-be ex-husband. “I will leave with Hayeon, don't worry.”

“Good.”

“Good.”

///

You headed to Baekhyun's that evening. Packing up the baby bag for Hayeon, you put her in the baby carrier basket once you arrived. You knew his new address but not once you visited. Having Minheob as a husband had its perks after all; you could easily look into the employees' personal records.

Baekhyun lived in an upscale apartment building, typical for families that had money. It made you realize just how much he developed professionally.

Shushing Hayeon, you waited for Baekhyun to open the door and when he did, he still looked surprised, even after letting you in through the intercom. “Hi,” you smiled, “I came to talk.”

Baekhyun took you in, noting the sleeping toddler. “Sure, come in,” he said quietly, not wanting to disturb the sleeping child.

“Sorry for coming unannounced,” you muttered sheepishly, admiring the way he looked in simple grey joggers and a white shirt. 

Baekhyun stopped you from going further into his apartment. “Are you okay? Did something happen?”

“No,” you smiled softly, “I have some good news.”

Sitting close to each other, you talked for about two hours; about your future. About the current situation and about the way it all evolved. Baekhyun was surprised but you were relieved when you saw his eyes light up with the same hope that it did with yours. For amoment you were worried he wouldn't reciprocate the excitement but when he almost ducked to kiss you, you knew he still felt the same.

Your faces were so close, you could feel his breath on your cheek. “I was thinking about looking for an apartment…” you trailed off. “Maybe somewhere close to yours?”

“Silly,” sighed Baekhyun affectionately, “you'll come straight to my place.”

Your heart skipped a beat as you eyed his lips. “Are you sure? I will have Hayeon with me,” you admitted, not wanting to sound as sad as you actually felt. It made you sound like a bad mother and maybe just a little bit, you were. Hayeon was such a delight of a child, but she was Minheob's. Baekhyun didn't have anything to do with her and even though you loved her, it also made you mad that you didn't have a child with Baekhyun.

“You know I never had anything against Hayeon. She is innocent and too young. She is barely one, sweetheart. She is your child, how can I not love her?”

Baekhyun's words made your eyes snap up to meet his tender ones.

Slowly he lifted his hand, cradling your cheek. “She looks a lot like you, you know?”

You closed your eyes. “You already told me.”

“And I'm saying it again. She is gorgeous. I bet she will grow up into a beautiful lady just like her mother.”

You smiled, shaking your head gently as to not let his hand fall. “Will you help me raise her into a good and loving child?”

“Of course,” he breathed, his thumb wandering to your lower lip. “We will raise her together.”

Your smile grew wider, now opening your eyes. “I love you so much, Baekhyun. You really have no idea how perfect you are, do you?”

He smiled and leaned in, nudging your nose with his. “I would do anything just to see you smile like that again. I want to keep that smile on your face forever, baby.”

Electricity cursed through your veins. You leaned in, wanting to finally overcome the teasing distance between your lips but Baekhyun stopped you. “Hayeon is sleeping here.”

“She will sleep for a while now. She always sleeps the best after a car ride,” you muttered, still eyeing Baekhyun's lips.

He hummed, acknowledging your words. Then he grabbed your hand gently, intertwining your hands and made you stand up. Eagerly, you followed him to his bedroom and once he closed the door, you stared at each other for a moment before the both of you leaned in at the same time. Kissing each other passionately, he walked you towards his bed and sat down, making you straddle him.

You whimpered at the feel of his wandering hands. “You don't mind kissing me now?” you asked, wanting to be sure you weren't doing something that made him feel uncomfortable.

Baekhyun was looking up at you with huge eyes full of lust and love. The raw crave in his eyes was undeniable and it turned you on. “No. I should have just stolen you a long time ago.”

You giggled but he silenced you with another mind-blowing kiss. Letting him touch you everywhere, you found yourself needing air quickly and Baekhyun moved to your cheek, jaw and neck, sucking gently on the sensitive skin. Your hands were messing up his before they found the way to his shirt, once again wanting to feel up his abs that contracted under your touch.

“I missed you so much,” groaned Baekhyun when he squeezed your backside as he licked your collarbones before biting. You hissed, but he didn’t stop.

“I missed you much more,” you breathed, closing your eyes in pleasure. “You have no idea how much.”

He hummed and grabbed the v-line of your shirt, yanking it down to show your bra. Hungrily, he attached his lips to the swell of your breast and you moaned loudly, burying your hand in his hair. “I missed these, too,” he muttered, making you chuckle.

When his other hand wandered south to your jeans, you grabbed his hand in alarm.

“B-Baekhyun, I’m on my period,” you breathed shakily, your arousal growing with each touch of his. Because of your stupid monthly issue you wouldn’t be able to enjoy Baekhyun but to your utter shock, he muttered:

“I don’t care.” With that, he hoisted you up in his arms, making you let out a silent squeal as he smiled and brought you to his private bathroom. “Unless you mind,” he added warily.

“No,” you shook your head quickly. “I crave you too much to care.”

The doors closed shut and you were pushed against them, his middle pressed to yours causing you to let out a wanton moan. He wasn’t even inside you but you felt like a bone shattering orgasm was on its way already.

“Fuck, I missed you so much,” he whispered urgently as he sucked on your neck, his other hand supporting you on your backside, and the other wandering inside your shirt.

Your hand was in his hair, grabbing on it, pushing his head into your chest needily. “Jesus, Baek, I need you. No teasing, god.”

This would be a first time for the both of you to be intimate while you were bleeding. As much as it was a little off-putting, neither of you built up the boundaries that seemed to be nonexistent in your relationship.

He grunted as he brought you to the shower stall and gently put you down on your wobbly legs. You were already taking off your shirt and jeans and he was mimicking you, desperate to finally feel each other’s skin. When the both of you were naked, Baekhyun stepped closer to you and reached behind you to turn on the shower.

The first wave had cold water which made you squeal and jump, attacking and hugging Baekhyun to yourself who caught you with a handsome laugh.

“I’ll make you all hot and bothered very soon, princess,” he murmured in your ear, his nose pressed to your hair as you felt his hand caress you over your stomach before he let it slide to your womanhood.

“Baek-“ you started quickly, sudden anxiety eating you away because you were bleeding.

“Shh, no words,” he said and brought his face back to yours, diving in to bite your lower lip. “Just our bodies talking.”

“But-“

“I said,” he pressed and just then he spread your womanhood, his middle finger teasing your lips and the sensitive bud before he quickly let it dive into your hole. Your knees buckled at the sensation and Baekhyun was fast to press you against the wall, letting the water wash away your blood and arousal from his hand.

“Fucking gorgeous,” he grumbled and pushed two fingers inside of you, humming when he watched you open your mouth in an airy moan, your eyes closed in pure ecstasy.

You were panting heavily and when you opened your eyes to look at your lover, you felt like your chest would combust with repressed emotions. You grabbed the back of his head and smashed your lips together, bringing out another pleasurable moan from Baekhyun. The vibration of his chest rang against yours, connecting two wildly beating hearts.

He scissored his fingers inside you, pumped you slowly, in and out, making sure you were well stretched out.

A whimper was what made Baekhyun pull away from the heated kiss. “Do you think you’re ready for me?” he asked in a low voice, his eyes full of affection, desire and lust.

You nodded eagerly. “Yes, yes, just get on with it.”

You reached for his member that had stood up proud in the meantime, keeping close eye contact with his owner. “Since we are doing it while I’m on my period, I can feel all of you,” you breathed as you stood on your tiptoes to kiss him again while you wrapped your hand around his shaft, spreading the pre-cum over the tip with your thumb, closely checking your partner for any reaction. “You can come inside of me.”

Baekhyun hissed and followed with a deep groan as his arm slid around your waist bringing you to him so he could rest his head in your neck. He left open-mouthed kisses lazily on your skin and he squeezed your body when you played with his balls. “Fuck!”

Without warning, he pushed your hand away. “Do you trust me?” he asked, his hands already trailing down your sides, his member pressed to your stomach.

“Always.”

“Then jump for me,” he whispered passionately and was fast to catch you, your legs around his waist and your center just on his manhood. “I will fuck your brains out.” He informed you and you could only plead for him to finally move on. And he did. With just his tip at your center had the both of you close your eyes and moan into each other’s mouths before he slowly pushed in.

“Ahh, yes,” you let out and wiggled in his grasp. Baekhyun hissed sharply biting your earlobe when he managed to slide almost all of him in. “Shit your slick.”

Both of you looked down to where you were connected to see the water wash away a chunk of blood. “Ready?” he asked gently. “Tell me immediately if somethings off.”

You smiled at him deliriously and nodded in confirmation.

Baekhyun started with a slow pace, his thrusts careful, making you feel every single inch of his member, every vein and plain. Being on your period made your womanhood extremely sensitive and aware of every single movement inside you which was the reason your forehead fell into his shoulder, a moan after moan leaving your mouth.

He took your passionate reaction as a yes to speed up, and he set a faster, stronger pace, sliding swiftly in and out of you, each fraction sending pleasurable waves through Baekhyun’s body.

“Fuck yes,” he groaned when he slammed harshly into you, aiming for your gspot, sliding you up the wet wall while you arched your back.

“Yes, Baekhyun, right there!” you screamed, the slight cramps in your lower abdomen wonderfully changing into a wave of ecstasy bringing you closer to the edge. 

“I know my woman well,” he hissed, watching your erotic face expressions with hooded eyes as he gave you another powerful thrust. “Only I know all your secret spots.”

“Yes, yes,” you gasped and leaned in, pushing your tongue into his mouth, your teeth clinking in the process as his length kept filling you up, stretching you so well he was touching your cervix. You felt another chunk of blood releasing and Baekhyun panted, your walls starting to pulse around him, telling him you were close. He quickly fumbled with his hand and brought it to your lower lips, massaging sensually with long fingers while he pounded into you, chasing now his own release as well. The buildup was almost unbearable. Just the idea of him taking you would send him to another world and the fact that he truly had you in his arms, you wrapped around him inside and outside made him release spurts and spurts of cum, his panting coming out in high-pitched moans just when you started to milk him.

You screamed loudly and Baekhyun was mouthing at your breasts hungrily, just as he always did when he was releasing. He gave your nipple a bite as he turned his thrusts into lazy hip-rollings, helping the both of you ride out your highs.

The shower was still fully on but it did little to no help to block out the sexual pants both of you were heaving out.

You locked eyes with Baekhyun’s and caught him smiling in satisfaction. “Kiss me,” he muttered and you gladly leaned in, humming when he licked his way inside, meeting your tongue for a small battle for dominance. You pressed against him, pushing his tongue aside, wanting to win but he whimpered and bit you which made you withdraw with a hiss. You separated with a loud smack. “Cheater,” you whispered in disbelief, your lips red and swollen.

“Am I now?” quirked Baekhyun, flirting, and let you down slowly, slipping out of you. He cradled your face and kissed you innocently as if to make up for the ruined kiss, enjoying the touch of your lips as the water was mixing in.

“That was fucking amazing,” you told him in bliss, hugging his neck. You brought his ear close to your mouth. “Let’s do it again.”

“Nobody said we were done, princess.” Baekhyun had a shit-eating grin when he trailed his fingers up your sides and gently groped your breasts that made you sigh in pleasure right away. Your nipples were already hard and aching but his touch made you feel like you were levitating.

“You’re so damn sensitive. Who knew sex during your period would be this much fun? You are so responsive to every single touch of mine,” he murmured sexily as he let the tip of his nose trail your cheek, darting his tongue out to lick on your skin.

You were aroused yet again and begging for him to resolve this issue.

“You aren't leaving my house tonight,” he told you as he brought his head back to look into your eyes. “I'll take care of you.”

///

2 years later

Baekhyun squeezed your hand with a huge smile as you were both sitting on the ground opposite his parents while Hayeon was running around, playing in Baekhyun's childhood room. A room that held so many memories that were dear to you.

“Sweetie, eat a little bit more,” prompted Baekhyun's mother lovingly. “You are bearing a boy. You need to make sure he comes out all sturdy and ready to face this world.”

You giggled, as you caressed your baby bump, Baekhyun joining you.

“She is quite sensitive, mum. I don't want her to throw up everything afterwards,” commented Baekhyun.

He was right. As painless as Hayeon's pregnancy was, this little boy inside of you was making you nauseous 24/7. You found it quite ironic how your family wanted you to bring a boy into the family when you were with Minheob, yet now, when you were with Baekhyun, it was a boy. It was more exciting because Baekhyun did the ultrasound and finding out the gender of your baby had its own magic when he was the doctor.

The past two years, everything was so different yet the same. Living with Baekhyun was perfect despite typical arguments. He was understanding and you were trying to be okay with his busy schedules at the clinic.

Baekhyun wanted you to settle in properly in his house along with Hayeon before you would start a family with him. Being careful in bed was not the most fun for you, as you always wanted to feel everything he could offer, but once the both of you gave each other the green, your life became much more exciting. You were eager to get pregnant with Baekhyun's child. Finally, the old, rusty dreams you had as a teenage girl could come true.

After hearing some rustling, you stood up. “I'm gonna check up on Hayeon,” you said and strolled over to Baekhyun's bedroom. “Hayeon,” you muttered, seeing her going through some old biology books. You laughed. “Out of all the things in this room, this is what caught your attention?” you asked her, and walked over.

“Mama, look!” she pointed at some drawings Baekhyun had in the corner of the page.

“Oh, what is that,” you faked excitement and then you looked properly. Decoding Baekhyun's terrible scribbles, you gasped quietly.

hottest chickkk in the entire school >< and shes mine woow

love is not as bad as guys make it out to be

because i love herrr

“The hell is this?” you murmured, not even noticing Baekhyun standing behind you.

He laughed loudly and you looked up at him in question. “Well, what do you think it is? It's about you, silly,” he said and crouched, hugging you from behind. “Many guys were crazy about you, yet I got you.”

You snorted a laugh. “Sure, half of the school envied me and the other hated me for being who I am,” you said, looking at his side profile.

“Ah, look at you talking and talking instead of kissing your gorgeous husband,” muttered Baekhyun playfully, letting his hands slide over the baby bump. In response, you kissed Baekhyun's cheek.

“No kissing daddy!” Hayeon complained.

Hearing Hayeon calling Baekhyun her father warmed your heart. “I can't kiss daddy?” She didn't respond, instead observing you and Baehyun. “Together?” you tried.

She grinned with her tiny teeth and Baekhyun laughed at her cuteness. “Come over, my little princess,” he opened his left arm, not letting go of you. Hayeon squealed, jumping straight at Baekhyun which made him grunt. Without waiting, she pressed her mouth to Baekhyun's cheek while Baekhyun turned to you with a mischievous glint. He pressed his lips to yours and you smiled widely.

“Love you three so much,” said gently Baekhyun, looking at you and Hayeon while caressing your bump.

“Love you more,” you whispered and stole another kiss before Hayeon could notice.

Even though not everything was perfect, you finally were together as you should have been since the start of the mess. With most of it being resolved, you were excited to face a brand new chapter with Baekhyun and with the family you created with him.

//

.END.

/// /// /// /// /// /// ///

A/N: Hi! If you read till now, THANK YOU SO MUCH. My first angsty-smutty story phew. I am red and I do need to take a break lol. >< I really hope you liked this story and that you are satisfied with the happy end. ^^ I am satisifed. On this blog I have rarely a bad-ending stories soooo... Yes!

Thank you, pretty please leave a comment (cc) to let me know your thoughts?

See you soon!

[scarletemeterio-thesecond]

hi! i saw that you were accepting requests for LOK and i was wondering if you could write a Mako x Reader fic where they are enemies to lovers? maybe where the reader is Lin Beifong’s daughter and they constantly bicker but there is so much ~tension~ and everyone else but them can see it? and then they kiss and reveal their feelings for one another during an extremely heated argument? thank you!! :)

omg i love some enemies to lovers content, and i think that mako fits that trope so well lmao, i hope you like it!!

•••

Fights and Revelations (Mako x Fem!Reader)

Warnings: some cursing, i think that's all

Genre: some angst, fluff

Fandom: The Legend of Korra

Summary: See request

Word Count: 2030

Reader uses she/her pronouns!

•••

You and Mako had never liked each other. There was something about him that you just couldn't stand, something that made you want to punch him in the face every time you saw him.

You two practically hated each other.

But you weren't sure why Mako seemed to dislike you so much, you had a good relationship with everyone in the group, even Wu, who was Mako's best friend. However, your relationship had been like that ever since you two met, he was very dry all the time, and that completely frustrated you.

The thing you hated the most was the way he cared about everyone else. It made you angry because you wanted someone to care about you the way he did with all his friends. You wanted your mum to care about you that way. You loved her, but sometimes she could be a little too distant and cold and sometimes it made your blood boil. You knew it wasn't fair to let out your anger on him, so you tried to hold it inside, but sometimes you just couldn't help it. And you also hated how cute he was, how you had a huge crush on him.

Mako on the other hand couldn't stand the way you acted around everyone. You were Lin Beifong's daughter, so your main goal in your life was to be as perfect as she was, to make her proud, but he didn't know that. He thought that you were so arrogant and self-centered, and it just made him want to roll his eyes every time you two were in the same room. But for some reason, he also wanted to talk to you. He didn’t like you at all, but he still cared about you even though he’d never show it.

So when everyone wanted to go on a camping trip together, he wasn't a big fan of the idea of you joining them. There was a huge tension from the very first day, and everyone was aware of that.

It was time for you to set up your tents, and since you'd never been camping before, you had to ask for help - which was something you hated to do. You figured you'd ask Bolin, mainly because he was the closest person to you, and you were a bit lazy to walk, but also because he was always very kind to everyone.

"Hey, Bolin?" You said, making him look at you. "Could you maybe help me with my tent? It's the first time I'm doing this and I'm totally lost," you chuckled, but your smile disappeared as soon as you heard Mako's voice.

"Wow, so there's something that you don't know how to do? It must be killing you." He only mumbled it, but it was loud enough for you to hear him. His brother hit him on the shoulder and you just took a deep breath.

"You know what? It's okay, I'll figure it out. I don't want to bother anyone," you whispered the last part and started walking away before you got a response.

However, you heard Bolin calling out your name from behind you, and he told you that he would help you. You thanked him and in less than thirty minutes, your tent was all set up.

"Thank you so much, Bolin. I never would've done it without your help!" You started to arrange your stuff inside the tent, and he walked back to his brother.

"I don't know why you hate her so much," he said to Mako. "She's really nice."

"Yeah, she's also very cocky and annoying. You're only saying that because you don't know her."

"Well, you don't, either," he commented. "Maybe you should give her a chance."

…

Being alone in the darkness of your tent made you think about the past before you managed to fall asleep.

You first joined the famous Team Avatar when you helped your mother find Korra when she got kidnapped by the equalists. You also helped her save Tenzin's family, which resulted in you losing your bending.

Losing such an important part of your identity was the worst thing you could've imagined, and you still had some nightmares about that night, repeating it over and over again.

And tonight was one of those nights.

You’d finally fallen asleep and you woke up with sweat covering your entire body. You touched your face, trying to get rid of the sensation of Amon’s hand on your forehead, and noticed you were shaking. You started to feel constricted inside the tent and decided to get some fresh air.

You sat far away from everyone since you didn’t want to wake them up, and put your legs against your chest, hiding your face. You wanted to cry, you wanted someone to hug you, and you wanted to stop feeling so weak. You hated that you were still haunted by that memory, and you hated that you were too scared to tell anyone about it.

"Hey, can’t sleep?" You heard a voice behind you. You turned around and saw Mako standing a few meters away from you. When he realized that it was you, his expression changed completely. "Oh, I didn’t know it was you," he mumbled. You nodded slightly and turned around again. He thought that it was weird how you didn’t mock him or said anything to him like you always did. "Hey, are you okay?"

"I’m fine, Mako. You can go now." You were about to cry and it was totally evident in your voice, so he ignored your words and sat next to you, leaving some distance between you two.

"Do you want to talk about it or…?"

"Stop it, Mako. We both know you don’t care," you mumbled. Tears started falling down your face, and you turned to the side so he wouldn’t see you.

He ignored once again what you said and let out a sigh. "I do care, (Y/N). Why would I be here if I didn’t?"

"Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because you’d absolutely love to see me like this since you hate me so much," you said, looking at him. He opened his mouth to talk but you lifted your hand, signaling for him to stop. "I thought I told you to leave, but since you didn’t listen I guess I’ll leave." You got up, and he did too.

You started walking away and stopped when you heard his voice again. "Why are you leaving? I’m just trying to help."

"Well, I didn’t ask for your help! I didn’t ask for your fake sympathy! I didn’t ask for any of this and yet here we are." You didn’t care about possibly waking the others up anymore, and you also didn’t care that Mako was seeing you like this. You just wanted your fear and that stupid relationship you had with the boy in front of you to stop.

"Ugh, why do you have to be like that? Why do you always try to be so perfect? It’s so frustrating and annoying," he said. You took a deep breath and decided to walk back to your tent, you didn’t have the strength to keep fighting, you just wanted to keep crying, hoping that you’ll feel better in the morning.

…

When you got up, you saw that everyone else was already awake. You knew that everyone could see that you’d been crying, even you could feel how swollen your eyes were, and you suspected that maybe they’d also heard you and Mako last night. You tried to ignore them and decided to go and sit near the river so you could be alone, but when you got there you saw that Bolin and Opal were there, and also Mako. You still stayed there and sat away from them.

A few minutes later, they all got up and you thought that they were leaving, but you were surprised when you saw Opal walking towards you. The two boys followed her but stood a few meters away from you, waiting for the girl.

"Hi, (Y/N)," she said. You smiled softly and greeted her too. She kneeled next to you and grabbed one of your hands. "Are you okay? I heard you screaming last night and Mako kind of told us what happened."

"Oh, I’m sure he did," you mumbled. "I’m fine, Opal, you don’t have to worry. Thank you for asking." Mako scoffed at your words, and you glared at him. "Is there something wrong, Mako?"

"No, it’s just funny to me how you’re so kind now, you know?"

"Dude, what the hell is wrong with you?" You stood up and started walking towards him.

"(Y/N), Mako, why don’t you just calm down? There’s no need to fight," said Bolin, trying to ease the situation.

"No, I want him to tell me what’s his problem!"

"You wanna know what’s my problem? You are! You and your attitude, always pretending to be Ms. Perfection!"

"Maybe we should let them talk..." you heard Bolin say to Opal but stopped paying attention to them once they started walking away.

"I’ve never done anything to you! And yet you’re always annoying me. If you hate me so much then stop paying attention to me," you started walking from side to side. "You have no idea of why I act the way I act, you have no idea of what’s like to be my mum’s daughter! You don’t know the pressure I’m under, trying to make her proud all the time, and it’s even worse when you come and just bother me all the time." He tried to talk, but you just didn’t let him.

"You don’t know what it feels like to still have nightmares about Amon taking my bending away, or what it feels to feel so alone all the time! Not everyone has a perfect friend like you who’s always there when you need it, okay? But of course, you wouldn’t know what I’m talking about. No, you’re so worried about annoying me with your words and your perfect face all the time. You don’t know anything about me, Mako!" You stopped talking and took a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down.

"I didn’t know about any of that, (Y/N), I’m so sorry, really." He made a pause and looked at you. "But you’re not a saint here, either. You get irritated just by looking at me, and you always have something to say to me, too!"

"That’s because I can’t stand how nice you are! I’d do anything to have someone like you in my life, Mako! You’re always so attentive to everyone and you know it! It makes me sick because I’d love for you to be that way with me too." You mumbled the last part, but he still heard you. You wanted to make a hole in the ground and never get out of there, and for a moment you actually thought about doing it.

"Did you just say what I think you said?"

"No, I didn’t. Of course I didn’t! I’d never confess that I like you in the middle of a fight."

"Not even if I told you that I liked you too?" He took a step towards you, leaving you two face to face. He couldn't believe that he'd actually said that out loud; it wasn't a secret anymore.

You made eye contact with him and you could already feel your heart racing. You licked your lips and you both stood there, waiting for someone to say something. "Mako, I-," you were interrupted by him grabbing your face and pressing his lips against yours. You immediately wrapped your arms around his waist, pulling him closer to you.

You two pulled away since you needed to breathe, and pressed your foreheads together. "I'm sorry for being such an asshole," he said. "I promise I'll be there for you whenever you need me."

"I'm sorry for being an asshole, too. I guess that a part of me didn't want to admit that I liked you."

"Well, I'm happy to know that you do," he said before kissing you again.

•••

TAGLIST

@burningcurrently

[simpsamaa]

Dating HC [Main four + Denki]

Todoroki Shouto

Dates with this boy would include lots of PDA

he didn’t get enough as a kid so when you popped into his life, expect him to ask for cuddles.

Honestly, reading dates and coffee/tea dates.

Shoto would love a date where it’s just you and him without the whole whole world bothering the two of you.

Would take you to meet his mother as he get’s more comfortable with you.

Expect lots of back hug from this man.

He lives for being hugged out of nowhere

like come running at him for a hug

he will drop everything just to catch you.

Loves to nuzzle into your neck

like neck kisses anywhere

Play with his hair while he’s laying on your lap

Like this boy will fall asleep fast while you’re doing that.

Like just Imagine- 

You and Shouto are laying in his backyard, just basking in each other’s presence, him laying on your lap, his brown and blue eyes watching your face as you toyed with his hair. The soft touches making his mind hazy with sleep. You smiled as his lips curved up into a soft smile, his eyes fluttering shut as his breathing slowed into a steady pace

Like, imagine the Todoroki Shoto sleeping on you,

Like-

Anyways, expect this male to be very blunt with his feelings towards you,

Like he will say ‘I love you’, once the two of you are both comfortable with it, out of no where and in front of everyone. 

Anyway

You aren’t meeting his dad at all!!

Bakugou Katsuki

First off,

Explosion boy get’s jelly easily

Like, hang out with the girls, he’s jealous.

Train with Kirishima instead of him, he’ll drag you away from ‘shitty hair’ as fast as you can say Plus Ultra-

This boy is possessive.

Will pull you into random kisses just to show the guys who you belong to

Is into holding your hand, because it’s so small compared to his.

It’s also way softer then his calloused ones

He will say you’re ‘too slow’ just to grab your hand and ‘drag’ you, cause he’s a tsuntsun

This boy will send you texts like “Go to sleep dumbass” and “If you’re tired during class it’s your fault”

when he just mean for you too sleep, because he cares about you.

Play with this boy’s hair!!!!

Like run your fingers through his hair, he will calm down like nothing happened.

“Bakugou, you cannot place your feet on the desk! It’s disrespectful!” Iida exclaimed, making his weird chopping motions with his hands again. “Like I could care less four eyes.” Katsuki sneered, rolling his eyes at his blue haired school mate.

“Katsuki, be nice!” You exclaimed, walking up to the to the two guys, moving your hand up to run it through Katsuki’s soft blond locks. The blond’s eyes narrowed as he moved his feet off of the desk, crossing his arms over his chest as he slumped down into his chair, with a pout on his face. 

“That wasn’t so hard was it?” You beamed, turning around to apologize to Iida for your boyfriend’s behaviour.

“Y/N HOW?” your classmates exclaimed, making you smile at them, “Just be nice to Katsuki!” You explained, making the whole class sweat drop.

Okay okay, there’s your small scenario 

But like dates with this boy-

Your first date would be at an amusement park, fight me

(I’ll make a different head canon for first dates if you guys want)

Izuku Midoriya

Shy boy loves holding your hand

He will slip his hand into yours whenever you’re next to him

If you like All Might-

Expect him to geek out to you, (which is adorable not matter what, fight me)

Give this boy hugs

Like let this boy hide his face in your chest.

he will die-

like-

Izuku is the type of boyfriend who would send you “Good morning” and “good night” texts.

Also the type of bf who would tell you to sleep if you’re staying up too late, and who would act like an alarm clock, calling you when you need to get up for school.

Honestly Izuku makes my heart go uwu

OMG

This boy would take you to meet his mom

and be embarrassed the whole time.

“Oh, you must be Y/n! Izuku talks about you alot! You made my little boy so happy you know?” Inko said as she let the both of you in, ushering you to take a seat as Izuku goes to place his things in his room.

Izuku’s eyes widen as he exits his All Might themed room, watching in horror as his mom shows you baby pictures of him. “Mom!” Izuku exclaims as he sees a picture of him in an All Might onesie. “Awww, Izu you’re so cute!” You squeal at how cute your boyfriend was.

Izuku’s face turned a bright red as he heard you call him cute, making him slouch down on the couch next to you.

“Here’s a picture of Izuku acting like All Might-””MOM”

Anywho-

Having this boy and your bf is amazing

I headcannon that he can cook so-

He’ll make you bentos and like-

yes

Kirishima Eijirou

Okay, you can fight me but-

This boy just wants to show you off

“Oh, my Y/n is so strong!! Did you see them spar today with Todoroki?”

“Did you see Y/n take down that villain? They’re so strong!”

Like this boy just wants to show the world how amazing you are and how much he loves you.

This boy man will hold you like it’s the last time he’s ever going to.

He will come from behind just to grab you and lift you up

Will drop everything to catch you-

Wants to kiss you infront of everyone because he knows that some people cough cough Bakugou, Denki, Sero, Mina, and Jirou cough cough Might have a crush on you.

But he won’t force you if you’re uncomfortable because that breaks the ‘Manly code’

But if you kiss him first-

Okay okay, back on topic

Kiri is one of the best boyfriends ever

He will do anything for you, as long as it’s sane and not dangerous

Hug for days

This man gives the best hugs ever

You’d think hugs with him would be weird cause of all that bulk he’s built up, but no

they’re warm and cozy

Facetime calls everyday when you guys don’t see eachother.

“Hmmm, Eiji do you think I look weird today?” You asked, turning the camera around to show the mirror you were looking at, to show your red haired boyfriend what you were wearing, a simple black pleated tennis skirt and a red long sleeve. “babe if you look weird then I look even worse.” Eijirou stated through the phone, watching as you posed for him in the mirror.

“Am I over dressed?” You asked, pulling your skirt, making the top of your thigh highs show. “Aren’t you just going out with the girls?” Eijirou asked, watching as you fixed your sleeves. You hummed as a reply, placing your phone down to put on a necklace.

“I think you look perfect, so...” Your boyfriend trailed off, making you giggle. “You think I look good in everything.” you said playfully as you rolled your eyes, making the redhead chuckle, “Well, it’s cause you do silly.” he said honestly, making your face dust with pink.

“S-shut up”

“But i’m just being honest?”

Okay, I went a bit overboard on that scenario,

but I couldn’t leave it unfinished.

 Kiri is the type of bf who sends you morning and night texts, 

saying how much he misses you and everything.

basically 100/100 boyfriend material

Kaminari Denki

Fight me but I love this bot

Honestly one of the best boyfriends-

Like-

Will play any video game with you

OMG

Dates while playing Animal Crossing like-

If you’re feeling sad, he will crack a joke to make you laugh

even if the joke makes Bakugou want to kill him-

Oooooooooo

he loves to brag to him friends about how he has an s/o to his friends

“Oh yeah, aren’t you guys still lonely?”

“yeah, my s./o is pretty hot”

“I confessed first, cause I am a man after all”

But you confessed first because Denki’s a wuss

He loves holding your hand

Like will simp just to hold your hand

This boy will kiss you everywhere

If you’re just trying to eat lunch, he will plant a soft kiss on your cheek just to see you blush

He loves to distract you by kissing your nose

“So you have to bring x over here-” You were trying to explain an equation to your blond boyfriend, only to lose track of what you were saying as he placed a small kiss on your nose, making your face blush a harsh red.

“Why are you like this Denki?” You whined, digging your face into your hands, making the blond laugh at your expression. “But you love me anyway so?” he teased, wrapping an arm around your shoulder, pulling you into his chest, making you even more red.

“Don’t hold me!” You said out loud embarrassingly, pushing his chest away with your palm. “Oh, baby but I know you want me to hold you.” Denki teased once more, making you give up and letting him hold you.

“See!” He exclaimed, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head making you hum.

“Now can you please explain this to me?” 

 Honestly

I love this man child

So-

He will tease you till the death of you

Like, if you’re shorter then him,

“Is that too tall for you to reach?”

“Do you need my help?” 

he’d ask as whatever you need is placed a few inches above of you.

Will grab what you need and hold it up just to see you jump and pout.

Now if you’re taller then him

“How’s the weather up there?”

“Is that too far down for you to reach?”

He will ask you even if you’re just like an inch taller then him.

Anywho-

100% good boyfriend

just a big tease

[halcyon-writings]

family

requested?: yes (anonymous) //tldr, if alucard had a sibling (the reader, of course) dealing with the loss of family, both living and not

note(s)/warning(s): canonical character death, spoilers babyyyyy, violence and injury, angst it’s rare for anyone in this series to have a good time huh?, also for this being that the reader can literally look however you want, imma say Lisa isn’t white bc I do what I want and it’s my fic :) this is also the most i’ve written in a good while omg, im highkey proud so pls don’t let this flop

Lisa Tepes is dead.

Your mother, is dead.

Killed, burned alive. Gone to ashes.

All because the church had believed she was a witch of sorts. Several thoughts dance in the back of your mind as you gaze upon the pyre. Smoldering from the heat, the flames gone. Your father leaving his message, no, his warning, that he would act in one year.

“A farce that was!” You hear a shout, and you force down the bitter laugh, throat tight and eyes burning. Especially so when you slowly begin to hear continued shouts of agreement, from voices previously silent.

Here your mother was, her final resting place. Burned to ashes for some sick show of power.

And you could do nothing as she was mocked for it.

Your fist clenched at your side, you feel your nails cutting into your skin, but you walk away to return home.

And to say that the castle was no less better was an understatement. Your father was most likely in his quarters.

And when you finally sit down, the weight of your weary finally settling against your soul, do you allow yourself cry. Quiet tears turning to sobs as you muffle your voice with a pillow.

You had failed her. Missing the chance to save your mother, too late to have done anything.

But you pause, noticing the presence at your door, your brothers familiar knocking pattern resounding suddenly through the empty hall.

“Come in,” Your voice is embarrassingly raspy. As you clear your throat, wiping your eyes with the back of your hand. But it wouldn’t hide the redness of your eyes.

Adrian says nothing, and a part of you wishes he did. His larger hand takes yours. A comforting squeeze.

You blink again feeling your eyes burn, and you squeeze his hand back.

“Father is...” He trails off, no doubt thinking of what he could say next.

“What he plans on doing, it’s not justice.”

You stare up at him, But it would be deserving. A bitter corner of your mind supplies.

While Adrian had taken after Mother in his demeanor, much more kinder, more welcoming. You were no doubt like Father. Reserved, distrusting, easily prone to grudges if you were wronged in some way.

But you bite your tongue.

“He gave them a year,” You murmur after some time, “But no doubt he’s ready to calling his armies.”

At this Adrian turns alarmed. the warmth from his hand slips away.

“We must stop him!”

You’re still reeling from the events from earlier today, and a part of you wishes to have no part in his attempt to try and stop your father. But then you remember your mother.

Her kindness, regardless of how she was viewed for being different.

And your warily stand anyway.

If only you had more sense. Your father remains eerily silent as he embraces you both. His hold tighter, and while Adrian seemed convinced, you saw the dark look in his eyes.

The year had passed. You weren’t surprised to hear of the bloodshed.

It was naive to expect otherwise. While reluctantly following your brother, you can only stand, frozen as your blood feels like ice in your veins as your remaining family clashes.

“No.” Your voice is barely a whisper.

They don’t hear you.

Glass shatters.

And foolishly enough, you rush forward.

-

With your brother injured and fleeing, and you yourself were not free from any sort of pain.

Stepping in between the two as they fought ended with a gnarly gash on your shoulder, as you fell to your knees and blood slipping past your fingers. Your father stands in front of you, like a protective pillar as your brother stares in shock, quickly wanting to help you in some way.

And then the fight is over. Your brother is gone too.

The castle is much larger and colder now.

As you’re confined to your room, the wound healing into an angry red, then to a muted and dull scar. For a moment you wished it took longer, your father guilty and you were reminded of times you had been sick when you were younger. While you had not been too keen on the typical children’s books, reading theory on physics and other sciences only seemed fun when he would read to you and you’d ask questions in between passages. (Your voice funny from a stuffy nose led to laughter and a small coughing fit but otherwise it was nice).

But now was not the time to reminisce on the happy childhood.

You know you cannot stay. Ultimately, Adrian had been right. Once you feel as though you can move your arm once again, slowly, you begin pack a small bag. You didn’t want to build up any suspicions, finding some money in your room and whenever you could take a few coins or so from your father that he would not miss.

Extra clothes were folded and put away separately.

And you make your escape on a rainy evening, the uneven droplets helping hide your tracks. But you knew now that your father had brought back Hector and Isaac, new generals to help fight in his war, you had to be weary of the night creatures that would no doubt be sent after you.

Well, you were creative. At times flying in a transformed look, no one would suspect a bat in the dark of night afterall. And it was easier to. find good vantage points that way. But to also avoid any people, you didn’t quite trust yourself to not get into an altercation with a bigot.

You rarely slept longer than necessary, especially not when those dreams were memories or nightmares.

Now that you had learned how to walk, you were a right menace. It was an uphill battle in itself to keep you in one place. You were curious and the world you knew (being your father’s vast castle) was huge. Your childlike curiosity was never let down by your adventures.

You laugh quietly, which sounds like small squeaks as you fly up and hide above the gaudy chandeliers. Your father, giant coat gone, hair tied back and in a plain dress shirt and slacks as he searched for a curious toddler.

Snickers continuing as he paces down the hall. You hop down, landing slowly and feet planting into the ground, knees bent. Before you had down the opposite direction.

The lab usually wasn’t a place you could be allowed in on your own. But having heard that your mother was there, you knew it wouldn’t be a problem! So your little legs carried you along. Until you found the familiar doorway.

Dozens of tubes and mechanisms had you turning your head as you wandered in, your shoes tapping against the marble floor.

“Now what brings you here, sweetling?” The warmth of your mother’s voice has you smiling before you see her. As you run forward and hug her side, clutching her dress in your small fists. “Not causing trouble for your father are you?”

You shake your head grin betraying your word, “Nope! I’m not doing any trouble!”

“And how since when did that happen?” She laughs gently.

“Now.”

Your brother looks up from his own books, waving before returning to work. Your nose crinkles, so much for playing experimenting. But before you can say much, your nearly yelp as you’re brought up into the air by a pair of strong arms.

“I’ve found you, little wanderer.” Your father’s voice carries no heat behind it. Then again, he was always soft hearted for you and your brother. But most of all, your mother.

“I’m not little!” You pout, “I’m big now!”

-

You’re taken away from your reverie at the snap of a twig.

With your lack of sleep, as you had insisted on traveling more, you were less than surprised to have been snuck up on.

“Peace, my friend,” The old man murmurs. You keep your knife in an iron grip in front of you. Who you’re guessing is his son or grandson, has his hands raised the same way, but no weapon to be seen, magic, oh good. Then again, not like you needed a knife when you could make your nails go into claws and the fangs. Don’t forget the fangs.

“I can’t exactly be peaceful when it’s the middle of the night and suddenly figures in blue robes appear out of now where,” You answer dryly. But seeing as how the others behind the main two have not done or said anything noteworthy, nor were their stances make them look like they could really fight, you lower your weapon slightly.

Clearing your throat, “Although, I shouldn’t be swinging my own weapon around either.”

The old man just smiles gently. And you can’t help but be just slightly comforted.

In the end, the speakers stop for the evening. And the Elder, despite looking like a frail old man, is firm in his decision that you stay and “eat properly.” And like a scolded child, you listen. Food and drink all but pushed into your hands as you’re quickly brought into conversation, the previous confrontation all but forgotten.

And then you perk up when he mentions Gresit.

“So... the sleeping soldier,” You begin, slowly chewing on the sweet bread you had been given. “It was true?”

The Elder nods, “My grandchild and a traveller, they had gone to explore it. Well, the traveller had gone to save my grandchild. I will not hide the fact that I was a bit doubtful. But Belmont had proved himself a man of his word. Although, he does need to drink more water.”

You blink, a look of a surprise clear on your face. Belmont...

Fuck. 

“Although I hadn’t expected the legend of the sleeping soldier to be realized so quickly.” 

At your inquisitive look, the Elder begins to explain. Of a holy warrior beneath Gresit, who would come to save it’s people in their most dire of hours. 

“The pair had come up with a man with long hair, like gold.” You couldn’t help but let out the breath you had been holding. So the Belmont didn’t try to kill him. you could breathe a little easier at that fact. 

“Where are they now?” You ask, holding the empty cup in your hands, as you stare down as though waiting for something.

Getting your answer, you stand, adjusting your bag over your shoulders. You wave off the concern in staying, if it had already been several days since the Speakers had left Gresit, then you needed to cover a lot of land to get to your brother. 

That is, until you saw the expression on the Elder’s face grow stern, as though he was scolding a child. With a heavier bag, one that the Elder insisted that you take some more things you could eat along the way, in exchange you give the Elder a small trinket you had been using to hide from the monsters of your father’s army, you finally set off. While your worries were not completely settled, your shoulders felt lighter. Metaphorically of course.

Of course, giving away the object that kept you hidden made it a bit more, difficult, when it came to trying to hide and travel at night. Much less even try to stop and rest. 

It had barely been two days since you had left the speakers, and already, you had run into some trouble, a beastly creature’s claws barely caught on your sleeve, leaving your arm bare as you shuddered from the chill in the air. You can only sigh mournfully, you really liked that coat. But, better your sleeve than say, you actually getting wounded. 

Your nails resemble claws, while your free hand holds the dagger in a steady grip. But being surrounded on all sides, it did not look promising.

Well, you thought mournfully, if you died you could at least see your mother again.

Until you hear the sound of what reminds you of a whistle? And then a sword flying through the air, slicing through the night creatures, giving you a chance to get some distance.

You hear the surprised shout of your name, and look up, to see your brother wide eyed, sword now returned to him, and a man and woman standing at his side.

“Um... hi.”

-

Much to your relief, the night creatures are easily taken care of.

And as you’re finally able to explain your story, you find yourself relaxing into the extra cloak given to you by the Elder.

“You mean you met the Speakers on your journey?!” A woman, petite with short blonde locks, who you learn is named Sypha, asks, and you notice the way her shoulders sag in relief.

You nod, “Yes. They all were safe.” If her shoulders sagged anymore she’d full on be slouching. You leave out the part of leaving a possibly precious trinket with them, not wanting her to think you cursed them or something.

“So you mean to tell me, Dracula, fucking Dracula, had more than one kid? That he actually had a woman not only give him not just one, but two children?” Is incredulously asked next by the scruffy looking man. Trevor, as your brother says.

You only stare in annoyance, sure your father was about to raise an army to annihilate the human populace but he didn’t used to be that way.

Before you can retort with a scathing remark of your own, Sypha elbows him harshly in the side. And you know it hurts from the way he immediately puts a hand where she hit him, eyes widening slightly. Serves him right.

“And what of...” Adrian- no Alucard as he wishes to be called, asks, near hesitant.

“Father?” You ask, arms crossed, “Same old same old. Planning the same amount of destruction here or there.”

As he looks to the snow covered earth, you roll your eyes, “Did you expect anything different?”

It’s quiet, and neither Sypha nor Trevor speak.

“No.”

You all sat around camp quietly for a while after that.

-

Your lungs feel like they’re being constricted. Your throat burns as you struggle to breathe, claws digging into your skin like knives. Before you’re thrown backwards, landing harshly against the wall. Books fall from the book case and your weapon clatters noisily from the ground. 

You take shallow breaths, barely standing before you’re thrown once more. Curse your father’s stature and supernatural strength. You close your eyes, waiting for another attack and at least hoping to brace yourself for it, but it never came.

Instead, your brother stands in front of you, as he and your father remain in a standstill. Sypha and Trevor’s footsteps are rushing towards you three. 

It all continues to move so fast, until he stops noticing the painting of your mother, as she had been holding your brother and then you as a baby, and the next thing you know, your father is staked through the heart. And with wobbly legs, you take your sword, and swing. So falls Dracula. But it felt like no victory. 

You sit up with an alarmed look, stopping yourself from shouting.

That was... a dream? You rub your eyes, feeling that your cheeks are wet and you sigh. 

When you see a shadow looming over you, the light of the fire giving slight visibility, you freeze. Before noticing it’s your brother and not his companions. 

“Sorry,” You say, making sure to not look at him, so that he didn’t see your tears. 

Quietly, he places his coat over your shoulders, sitting beside you, wrapping his own blanket loosely around his own shoulders. “You have nothing to apologize for.” 

You only grip the jacket lapels tighter, shaking slightly as you hiccup, unable to stop yourself from crying again. 

He must think it’s because you miss your mother, and you do. But this dream was far different. And you say nothing as he brings you into his arms. Your tears having long since dried when the sun rises moments later. But you find yourself falling asleep as your brother rubs soothing circles on your back, feeling the build up exhaustion finally leaving you. 

When you’re awake much later in the day you can’t help but laugh a little when Sypha scolds your brother for being mean enough to make you cry, he didn’t you assure her quick enough, although you’re back to laughing when she then turns around to scold Belmont when he makes another slight comment. 

[niawritess]

The Lovestruck~Chapter 19

Shock word was an understandment as what you were feeling right now. You were in the car with Ria going back home, you couldn't even say anything to him as you were too shocked and before you could, Ria dragged you to the car saying mom has been calling.

Were you dreaming? Did you heard it right? He likes you? All of this came as a surprise to you and the whole ride you were occupied by those thoughts.

Arriving at home, you straight went to your room and your parents were confused by your behavior before looking at Ria questionly but she just shrugged and followed you.

"Y/n." She called out entering your room to see you sitting on the bed lost in thoughts before aproaching you and sat in front of you.

"Y/n? What's wrong? You have been quiet since we have come back. Did something happen?" She placed her hand on top of yours and you looked at her blankly.

"Baekhyun." You uttered licking your lips. "Baekhyun... confessed to me."

She stared at you blankly and then. "AAAHHHHHHHHH"

You closed your ears and eyes before shutting her up by covering her mouth then your door burst opened revealing Daniel.

"What-what happened? Why did you scream?" He asked panicked and you glared at Ria.

"Nothing, she has gone crazy."

"I thought something big happened." He scoffed walking away.

"Is it true? When? How? Wait- at the beach? I told you, he likes you!" She began her rambling as you told her everything.

"OMG! This is such a great news! So what did you say?"

You looked at her in innocently. "Nothing."

Her jaw dropped. "Nothing? Are you serious? The Byun Baekhyun confessed to you and you said nothing?"

You groaned leaning your against the headboard. "I.. I couldn't say anything. I was too shocked, okay. And it was so unexpected."

"So? How do feel about him?"

"I..don't know. I mean yes, he's a good guy and I feel comfortable and happy around him." You paused sighing while clutching the teddy close to you. "But lately I'm really nervous around him where my heart is like going to burst and it's so confusing.

Ria stared at you with a understanding look before she slapped her forehead lightly. "Silly! There's your answer. You don't feel like this for anyone but for someone you love and it's okay. There's no hurry so, take your time to be sure about your feelings."

Upon hearing her words, you gave this a thought and realized she is right. Your heart beat quicken at the thought of him and cheeks heat up.

"Oh My God! Y/n! You're blushing." She laughed loudly and you hid your cheeks feeling embarrassed.

"Shut up!"

"I'm so happy for you!" She jumped on you making your body fall back with a groan.

"You're heavy!"

Later that night, you couldn't sleep well as the scene at the beach kept playing in your mind making you nervous, scared and happy as well. You have never been in a relationship, always kept yourself distant with these things yet you were here feeling all of this.

Being in a relationship scared you a little. You don't know, if you were ready for it and several things were in your mind with all of these questions and you just needed a bit of time.

Meanwhile, Baekhyun who kept cursing himself for not holding himself back for keeping his mouth shut. He wasn't planning on confessing like this but you just stood there and he couldn't help but blurt out everything and now was thinking if he scared you or would you feel awkward around him because that was the last thing he wanted.

***

(9 January)

You woke up with a slight nervousness at how would you face him after yesterday. Luck was probably on your side when you didn't got a glimpse of Baekhyun at the college as you had lunch with the boys and they told that he was busy somewhere and that somehow made you relieved but lowkey you wanted to see him.

Then a thought hit you that you have to go to Café too and you would definitely see him there.

Later, in the library, Ria was looking for some books assigned to her from her professor before she came across with Baekhyun who was picking a book.

"Oh, Baekhyun sunbae."

Baekhyun flinched by the voice before he saw Ria giving him a smile which he reciprocated before his eyes were going here and there in search of someone.

Ria chuckled. "She's not here, must be hiding somewhere."

Baekhyun looked at her startled as he let out an awkward chuckle before he looked at her surprised. "You know?"

She nodded. "We bestfriends have no secrets so while we're talking about it, can I ask you something?"

Baekhyun gave her a nod as she sighed. "Are you sincere about Y/n? I can see you are but I still want to hear it from you."

Baekhyun smiled at her concern for you and he nodded. "I have never been this sincere before and I assure you that."

She nodded smiling. "Then, let me tell you this too. Y/n and I have been bestfriends since high school and I know Y/n more than she knows herself. She's never been into these situations before so it's something new to her and maybe little confusing too. So, I hope you can be a little patient until she's sort it out, plus I'm already on your side. "

Hearing upon her words, Baekhyun was sure that you were lucky to have a friend like Ria before he nodded. "Thanks and i'll keep that in mind. "

With that he walked away before Ria sighed clasping her hands together up in the air. "God, let my ship sail."

"Gosh, Y/n, You're really lucky to have me in your life." Ria flipped her hair before she turned around and got startled to see the librarian judging her with her poker face.

Giving her an awkward smile, Ria rushed out of the library hoping not run into the librarian today.

***

At the Café.

Just as Baekhyun predicted, you were avoiding eye contact with him and the awkward atmosphere was eating him up. However, he couldn't blame you because it would be a normal reaction for someone who got confessed but he didn't wanted that and he's surely gonna make it right.

Your shift was over and you were relieved wanting to get out of the awkwardness as soon as possible but things just doesn't go according to you.

"Y/n." You slightly flinched and there was your heart acting up again beating with an abnormal speed.

"You are avoiding me, aren't you?" He questioned and you mentally face palmed for being obvious as you let out a nervous chuckle while looking everywhere but him. "Me? No, not at all."

"You know you can't lie, so why do you even try it?"

You bit your lip before looking at him and instantly looked away finding hard to look at him.

"Can we talk?"

"Right now?"

"Yes." He said firmly and you hesitantly nodded.

He licked his lips before speaking. "I know what happened yesterday was unexpected for you and trust me it was same for me. I never wanted to confess like that but it just happened and now I'm not going to run away."

"I don't want to pressure you in any way and I'm alright with you taking how much ever time you want. I'm always willing to wait for you but I just don't us to be awkward like this because this is something I never wanted."

As if he just read your mind that whatever you want to say but couldn't, he said it all and you couldn't be more grateful for it. A smile appeared on your face and you nodded slowly making him smile in relief.

"You're not going to avoid me again, right?"

You chuckled awkwardly. "No, I won't."

"If you did, I'll tell everyone about your that secret." He smiled smugly raising his one eyebrow and your jaw dropped. "Are you threatening me?"

"Is it working?"

"No!"

"It did."

"No, it didn't."

"Then should I-"

"No!"

He laughed hardly and you glared at him playfully and that's how Baekhyun changed the awkward atmosphere into comfortable one. Well, he's Baekhyun for a reason though.

***

(10 January)

Next day, things weren't as awkward but tension was somewhere there. As if something has struck your mind, you began to see Baekhyun in a different light, as you found yourself staring at him again and again.

You weren't the only one, whenever you glanced at him, you caught him staring at you but instead of looking away, he just gave a smile leaving you flustered.

You calmed your beating heart and took the order from the customer and Baekhyun started to make drink. He was about to take it in his hand but his hand got bumped into the counter causing the hot drink spill on his hand.

He hissed which got your attention and your eyes widened seeing him clenching his hand.

"Are you okay?" You grabbed his hand and panicked seeing the redness on the back of his hand.

"Y/n, I'm fine." He assured you but you saw his expression saying opposite.

"Rose-"

"It's okay, I'll take care of it."

"Come here." You led him in the kitchen before walking to the sink and helped him wash his hand.

"Y/n, I'm really okay."

"What do you mean? Look at the redness. I know it must be stinging." You took the ice cube from the fridge and gently rubbed it while blowing on it.

He sighed leaning against the sink as he stared at your face which was filled with concern immediately bringing a smile on his face.

"I thought I was the big clumsy but no, you are one step ahead of me." You nagged like a mother and he chuckled while seeing your this side made his pain less.

"You worry about me, don't you?"

"Of course, I do. What kind of question is that?" You raised your head to see him smiling at you and then you realized.

"Why?"

"Huh?"

"Why are you worried about me?" He leaned forward making your breath hitched at the closeness.

"Y/n, Baekhyun!"

You both backed away hearing Rose's voice and Baekhyun lowly groaned as he got interrupted in the moment before Rose walked inside.

"How's your hand?"

"It's better now, since Y/n has treated it." He smiled at you but you didn't looked at feeling too nervous by his gaze.

Rose came to tell that she has to go home a little early for some reason and asked you both to take care of the Café behind. You both agreed and soon she was off to her home while you both continued your work not before you asked Baekhyun to take orders only and seeing your stern expression, he agreed instantly.

It was dawn already, means the working hours were over and you both got out but then you spotted a person you never expected to see here.

Liam was walking towards you and you frowned in confusion and when he approached you, he smiled which was forced before he looked at Baekhyun and they both stared at each other with unreadable expression like last time.

You asked him the reason of his presence here where he told you that Daniel was out with his friends so he came to get you. Honestly, you found it uncomfortable, especially when Baekhyun was standing here and you didn't wanted any misunderstanding between you two.

Baekhyun felt jealous seeing another guy to take you home and for some reason he really didn't took a liking to Liam. Sighing, he was about to lock the door but then it hit him that he forgot the keys inside.

You chuckled at his forgetfulness as he shot you a sheepish grin before going inside to get keys. Liam rolled his eyes getting impatient as he just wanted to leave from here. Apparently, he was forced to come here as his mom pressured him go.

"Y/n, can we just go? He can do it himself you know." Liam said and you looked at him a little bit furiously.

"No, we both work here. And I don't find it appropriate to leave him like that." You replied, annoyed by his attitude.

"Let's just leave, everyone is waiting." His impatience got over him and he grabbed your wrist startling you.

"Liam, what the heck are-"

"Let go of her hand." Baekhyun jumped in suddenly gripping on his wrist and Liam scoffed letting go before facing him.

"And who do you think you are?"

"Doesn't matter. But you should know how to respect a girl and she is your freaking cousin!" His jaw clenched with his eyes glaring down at him and and you stared at him shook seeing him angry like this.

"Right, she's my cousin. So stay out of this!"

"Or what?"

"You-"

"Stop!" You instantly came forward between them as you shielded Baekhyun and narrowed your eyes at the person before you. "Liam, go back home now."

He looked at you in disbelief before his eyes soften as he realized his actions and sighed, looking down too embarrassed to even look at you and taking backwards steps, he turned around and left.

You closed your eyes and sighed before turning around to found nothing as you spotted him inside sitting on a chair. You gulped, walking inside to see him looking down with his hands clasped together as he was calming himself.

"Are you really angry?" You asked, cautiously standing infront of him before sighing. "I don't know what came to him to act like this-"

"Why did you stop us? I was so close to punch him." He cut you off, as he looked up at you frowning as he wasn't angry for his behavior with him but he didn't liked how he misbehaved with you.

You looked at him incredulously. "And then what? A fight would have broke out! And I don't want to see the person I love getting hurt!"

Baekhyun's ear perked up as he gulped looking at you. "Who...do you love?"

"You of course, Who else?! And what's wrong with Liam? I should have a talk with him-" You kept rambling unaware of your words and Baekhyun's eyes lit up as his heart burst out with happiness. "You love me? Did you just say you love me?"

You stopped and looked down at him to see him smiling before realizing your words and your eyes went big. Gasping, you attempted to walk away but he caught your wrist and pulled you back causing your hands to rest on his shoulders as you stood between his legs.

"Where are you going after confessing your love?"

Your cheeks heat up and you chuckled nervously. "When did I?"

"Just now."

"I didn't."

"You did."

"I-"

"Stop running away and be my girlfriend already, hm?" He tilted his head staring at you cutely and you stared at him for a moment before a shy smile appeared on your lips as you nodded slowly.

Sure, you were a little bit scared about being in a relationship but it all vanished when you saw his face and you were sure that you don't have to feel like this when you're with him.

"Really?" His eyes widened before smiling widely and you squealed as he lifted you up suddenly with your hands clutching his shoulders tightly.

You looked down at him in surprise and he chuckled looking at you fondly while smiling. "What should I do? I'm so happy."

You bit your lip smiling before you glanced outside to see people giving you both weird look.

"Baekhyun, put me down." You said feeling embarrassed now and he gently put you down. You hid your face in your palms and heard his giggle before feeling his arms wrapped around you as he placed his head on yours.

Soon, you both closed the Café and he was walking you home. While walking, he stopped to take your bag in his hands even though you stopped him. Both of you were silent, just smiling and glancing at eachother.

Not long before, you heard his chuckle making you look at him confused. "Why are you laughing?"

"It's just I suddenly thought of how you came like a shield even though you are one foot shorter than me." He teased and you looked at him offended.

"Oh, so this is what I get for protecting you." You said sarcastically while faking an hurt expression and he just laughed poking your cheek.

You reached your home and took you bag from his hand before smiling at eachother.

"Will you be okay?" He asked indicating the scene happened a while ago and you nodded assuring him.

He nodded as he knew you can handle the situation on your own. "Okay, then tell me if anything happens."

You nodded. "Be safe and text me when you get home."

He nodded before leaning in to press his lips on your forehead sending chills down your spine and making you close your eyes in the reflex before he pulled away smiling and left.

You bit your lip smiling shyly as your hand went to your forehead before walking inside to see your parents and Aunt Jane with Liam in the living room. You made your way to them and greeted her.

"It's good that everyone is here, I have to tell you something but before that," You looked at Liam who avoided your eyes. "Liam, I know you're my cousin but what you did there was really not good and you have to apologize for it."

"What's happening?" Your dad asked confusingly looking back and forth to you and Liam before he sighed letting you continue.

"And Aunt Jane," You looked at her who was close to burst. "I know, you are trying to make me and Liam together but I'm sorry it's never gonna happen. Because for me, Liam is more like a brother and I have no interest in him and from what I see he feels like that too, so kindly stop forcing things on us. I just wanted to clear this, so there won't be any problems later."

As you expected, Aunt Jane stood up with a glare in her eyes."Oppa, look at how your daughter is disrespecting me. "

You frowned before opening you mouth but your dad spoke."She's just clarifying and I don't see any disrespectful in that."

Disbelief expression plastered on Aunt Jane and she couldn't even speak further so she stormed out of your house dragged Liam with him and you could sense the guilt in his eyes.

"I'm sorry dad, because of me Aunt Jane's gonna be angry at you."

"Don't be sorry, in fact I'm so happy to see my daughter is growing up to be a great girl and knows how to stood up for herself, I'm so proud of you." He smiled patting your head and you hugged as you felt so lucky to have parents like them.

Your mom coughed and your dad groaned as the moment got ruined while you laughed. She asked you to get freshen up as she has ordered pizza and you instantly ran up to your room.

You felt so light as if everything was going on the right track and you checked your phone to see Baekhyun's text which instantly made you smile.

Baekhyun : I'm home. How did it go? Did you sorted it out?"

You: of course! Who am I?

You sent it with a smug emoticon and got a reply.

Baekhyun: I know, my girlfriend.

He sent it with a wink emoticon and you felt yourself blushing at the message before another text popped up.

Baekhyun: You're blushing.

You looked at here and there before slapping your forehead as why would he be here but how can you be so obvious even when he can't see you.

You: I'm not. I'm going to have dinner now bye!

Your cheeks were hurting now because of your constant smile and were on fire because of blushing too much. Getting a boyfriend seemed too surreal and thinking about it, you already felt shy but happy and couldn't wait for the next day to see him.

_____________

Here ya go! Hehe~

@wooya1224 @buttercupbbh @jddcfc-blog @usernameloaa

[persephunee]

LETS TALK “IT’S OKAY TO NOT BE OKAY” AKA, PSYCHO BUT IT’S OKAY 

There is so much I want to say about this kdrama that I think some of it is going to have to be in dot points because I don’t know how else to string my thoughts cohesively. After watching episode 9, it’s further cemented how much I love this drama, how amazing I think the entire crew behind it is, and how I think this drama is such a huge step in the right direction in creating conversation about not just mental illness, but what it means to be human. It tests/pushes the viewers compassion and empathy constantly to show us just how important it is to break stereotypes. Do not get me wrong, I don’t think it’s absolutely 100% the PERFECT depiction of mental illness however you have to give it some leeway as mental illness is such a vast topic to cover and ultimately everyones experiences with mental health is going to be different.

Disclaimer: If you have watched this drama and find certain things offensive, or interpret things different to my opinion I understand. Everything I say here is what I think and feel and everyones entitled to disagree. I also love to discuss things in depth so please feel free to reply with your own thoughts!! 

THE ENDING SCENE WAS SUCH AN emotional punch in the gut. The way they used the running joke of the show (where the characters ask who someone loves more and don’t get answer) as a build up to this climax where Sang Tae’s emotions that he’s been internalising, explodes is just... see you know that this is going to happen but the WAY they did it was phenomenal? You felt Sang Tae’s pain. And even though prior to this you can assume that he was traumatised from that event and Kang Tae’s words, it was both amazing and excruciatingly heartbreaking to see him finally verbalise this and release all this pent up resentment. He loves his brother so much and he feels so much pain thinking that the only family he has left wants him dead. It puts into perspective all the scenes where he’s terrified of Kang Tae being angry with him. Because he’s terrified his brother will hate him so much and leave him to drown just like he did that day.

Kang Tae on the other hand... I don’t even know how to express how much empathy I have for him and how much his breakdown broke my heart. Kang Tae loves his brother. He never meant what he said when they were kids and to this DAY he feels excruciating guilt over almost leaving his brother to drown. He loves his brother and he never meant the words he said, he was a child who was exhausted carrying a burden and expectations that he never should have had in the first place. He has spent every day since then to atone for it, and just when he’s beginning to feel that he can be his own person and forgive himself, the source of his guilt pain and trauma is thrown back in his face. His devotion to Sang Tae was not just a product of his mother, but his over whelming guilt for what he said (and almost did) to Sang Tae. Kang Tae deserves to forgive himself but it’s so painful to watch the process unfold because he has to address the trauma/feelings before he can make any move to forgiveness. 

also a little side note on Moon Young and the fact that she shed tears watching. 

It will be interesting to see how the show handles this. Both brothers love each other. Sang Tae needs to forgive Kang Tae and find a way to not only trust him again but understand him. And Kang Tae needs to find a way to ultimately forgive himself and make things right with his brother. 

I also saw someone mention kang tae using the butterfly method on himself and EXCUSE ME WHILE I GO CRY. I will credit that person who noticed it (x)

wow... that’s already a lot so rest of my thoughts are under the cut !

The writers of this show have done an amazing job to make sure everything has a purpose. All the characters are important to the story and they aren’t just there for the sake of filling screen time. For EG: that guy who started the rumour at the end of the episode about Kang Tae + Moon Young and them getting married. He wasn’t just someone we haven’t come to know. In fact in one episode he was even a character who illustrated how employees at psychiatric hospitals/wards can be overworked etc. and how that can affect a person. His characterisation as well is spot on. I hate him fo what he did episode 9, but when you look at the way he would gossip and judge the patients unprofessionally in previous episodes it grounds his character more. It wasn’t OCC for him to do, and so it feels less like he’s just a catalyse to propel the story forward, and more organic. 

I was also immensely happy this episode that the couple who fell in love at the hospital (Areum and Jung Tae), parted ways. I was so happy the writers didn’t just try to get off easy by showing them eloping together (or continuing a relationship). He was mature enough to realise they were not ready, that he had a lot more work to do before they can enter a healthy relationship. This show heavily leans on fairytales and could have easily gone the Disney route of showing them happy together as if they didn’t have more healing and growth to do. The writers said no NOT today sir! 

Coming back to Kang Tae and MoonYoung. THE KISS! I think it’s important to note that Kang Tae initiates the kiss, because all this time Moon Young has been pressuring him and if she were the one to initiate the kiss it would have felt forced and wrong. Kang Tae decided on his terms when he would break down that barrier and reciprocate. I also really loved the parallel of them seeing each other as when they were kids. They’ve been stuck in their trauma, both of them running away or hiding from their past and now time is starting again as they both navigate how to face it. Kang Tae kissing Moon Young wasn’t him saying “I love you” but more a sign that he was taking down his brick wall one piece at a time. 

Also appreciated that after the high of getting suspended wore off they showed Kang Tae feeling regret and reassessing his decisions about finally letting go haha. This is an important moment to have, as it shows that you’re not just magically fixed. You don’t just suddenly go from suppressing all your emotions so far down you barely flinch when a knife slices your hand open, to WOOOPY I’M GONNA BE HAPPY NOW AND LET MY EMOTIONS GOO, without having that moment of “oh crap... “ after you’ve come down from the high.

OH JUNG SE DESERVES TO BE RECOGNISED for his acting as Sang Tae because honestly wow. I’ve seen him in other dramas before but he’s shining so bright in this drama and I really hope that not only him, but the other actors and writer and directors get recognition for this. 

Another thing I really loved was finally getting to understand more what happened between Moon Young and Juri! It makes sense now why Juri resents her and maybe even is a little scared of her. Juri had every right to have multiple friends, but I can also understand Moon Young feeling betrayed and abandoned. They were kids, and I think this is a case of wanting to fit in with everyone. Juri was given the opportunity to be normal and fit in, and she took it without thinking of how that made Moon Young feel. And Moon Young dealt with her emotions and the situation the only way she knew how. THIS ALSO BTW IS A NICE PARALLEL TO Sang Tae and how he wants Kang Tae to only be close to him )albeit for different reasons but yes). MoonYoung on a level understands Sang Tae’s need to keep Kang Tae to himself because she’s felt similar emotions before. 

Okay but I also love how this show illustrates taking 2 steps forward and one step back is okay. Healing and growth is not always linear and you’re going to stumble, fall back, and relapse and that is okay. It doesn’t mean you’re  not going to take 2 steps forward again, or 3, or 4. It’s all part of the process, and part of being human. 

Ugh omg there is so much more I want to say but I should probably end this post here. I think I need a whole other post just to discuss the dynamics between Moon Young, Sang Tae, and Kang Tae. If you read this far CONGRATULATIONS. You’re a star hahaha 

[theonetheycallhannah]

A Mage’s Beginning-Part One

Summary: Anathema of Velena is sent by the Brotherhood of Sorcerers to a kingdom already decimated by a mighty beast when she happens upon another. One who saves her life…as she saves his.

Pairing: Geralt/OFC (Anathema of Velena)

Word Count: 5k

Rating/Warnings: M for language, discussion of mature themes and situations, alcohol consumption, violence, and reflection on a particularly shitty childhood that could be triggering. Body image triggers. No smut for now. Also, warning that it’s stupid long and only half done! Wow! I’m super sorry! Anathema is kind of a long winded little witch.

Inspiration: Netflix’s The Witcher, that sweet, sweet Cavill bod, and the chocolatey crunch of his “Geralt voice!” (idk why, but that’s the imagery for me. Lol!) Also, Ana inspired by the badassness of Anya Chalotra as Yen, the powerful vulnerability of Anna Shaffer as Triss, and the poise and grace of MyAnna Brunning as Tissaia…I honestly can’t believe that the name Anathema is a total coincidence now. Especially considering that my name…is Hannah, a version of all of these. It just came to me as a cool name.

Author’s Note: Like most of my OFCs (and honestly, even EFCs), Anathema is loosely based on myself. She reacts how I feel I would (or sometimes hope I would) in her situation. For those of you who read “Shape of Her” you’ll know that I’m chubby. Anathema was, as well, before her transformation, and she talks about what it was like for her as a child and adolescent growing up. For me, this was a deeply personal thing to write about. I don’t usually talk about the effect my weight has always had and continues to have on my mental health. I’m very fortunate that, unlike Anathema, I have loving parents that have never treated me this way. But in an odd way, their “help” and concern for my physical health has created this sort of villainous aspect of them in my mind, and I suppose that comes out in Ana’s mother here. At any rate, I should probably go back to a counselor about it, but that’s tough during a pandemic and with my work hours. So I write about it, and I guess there ends up being a bit of validation for her/me when Geralt shows interest (and maybe takes that further in part two...no spoilers here!). Not that any of it’s completely healthy, but at least it’s kinda cathartic and fun in the moment if you don’t think too hard about it. I hope the monologue doesn’t bog you down and make you lose interest. If it does, just skip it. It won’t hurt my feelings.

Also, I’m sure my spells are total baloney compared to what’s in the books and deffo to what’s in the show. I just wanted to write something down to sort of show the power being expelled by Ana. These are probably way more Hogwarts than Aretuza! Lol!

Tag List: @sunflowersstan @mylittlepartofthegalaxy @mstgsmy @lareinedususpense @geekycanuck and @littlefreya (omg it let me tag you this time, Freya!) I didn’t tag some of you that I tagged before in Shape of Her, just because I didn’t know if that was something you wanted. (basically, if I didn’t get a concrete response one way or the other, or I wasn’t fairly sure you’d want a tag, I didn’t tag you. I still love all of you!) Please let me know if you want to be tagged or if you want me not to tag you in things! I will not be offended! Also, this is not smutty. It’s pre-smut. lol!

Anathema of Velena was a mage of little renown. Powerful enough, but nothing compared to someone such as Yennefer of Vengerberg. She had worked so hard at Aretuza and all Rectoress Tissaia de Vries could manage to tell her most days was “You could not organize a pair of gloves, Ana. How do you expect to be able to control chaos? I’m not even convinced you have any chaos in you.” She turned away, calling the five other girls out of the lightning tower, some of whom had ampules filled with crackling white light. The rest were in various states of injury from singes to limps. Anathema…well, she had nothing. The lightning didn’t come near her. She left the tower without a prize, but filled with shame, uninjured from the typical failed attempt. She didn’t know why it was worse, but it very much was.

It took her years to finally get over that day.

Her first assignment the brotherhood sent her on was, well, it hardly mattered now, because the city, the whole kingdom was now rent by some foul beast. She’d been sent to help. But had arrived too late. She heaved one of her deeper sighs. “Fuck.” She let out audibly. She’d have to make camp. For the third night. At least. Maybe it was the fifth. She wasn’t certain. But it seemed like too long. She dismounted her chestnut mare, Clove, and started to get her supplies down for her modest tent. Modest, meaning that it appeared modest to the casual observer.

Inside, however, when she’d cast her enchantments, it was almost like home, complete with a full bed, soaking tub, fireplace, table, chairs, and a lovely lounge with a settee and chaise. One of her favorite things about Magic was being able to pack heavy while still traveling light. She was even able to bring a small book collection.

She’d just finished setting everything up and was casting the necessary protective enchantments to the perimeter of her site when she heard a rustle in the bushes about twenty yards away. She attempted to remain calm, but was terrified. She carried only a small silver dagger and a steel short sword that she rubbed with a silver infused oil which she made when she came across good silver and decent tallow. It wore off, but the silver oiled blade was a good compromise when you couldn’t carry both silver and steel. What was she, a fucking Witcher? Anyway, she drew her dagger, but conjured a revelatory wall around her so she could see who or what was out there hunting her. She prayed it wasn’t a kikimore. Anything but a kikimore, she thought. Those shits gave her the creeps. Give her an iron toothed wyvern, or the king of dragons, himself. She could conjure in battle against the best of beasts born of magic, but those insects…no.

There came a keening howl unlike anything she’d ever heard. A drowning scream that almost sounded like it was coming from under the water. Then too many pairs of glowing green eyes started appearing from said bushes. They were horrifying lizard-fish people. And they were walking toward her camp. It would be all too soon that they would walk through the invisibility shield as she hadn’t been able to cast any deflective measures yet. They’d breach her camp in minutes if she didn’t act. She prepared to cast a fire spell on them, hoping that would work, when she heard a deep male voice behind her growl an order.

“Get down! Hide!” Pardon me? She thought. This guy didn’t know who he was dealing with.

It appeared though that she didn’t, either.

The voice had come from a very tall and amply muscled horseman. He wore no armor, only a dark linen tunic tucked into leather breeks, and tall black boots. All was weathered and smelled heavily of horse, ale, and sweat. He quickly dismounted in that way that some men do in which they swing their leg over the horse’s head instead of around the rear. This was the way that, even in her terror, made her feel an unfamiliar but pleasant stirring in the pit of her stomach.

His hair, which she had presumed blonde at first, she noted now to be silvery grey, and well past his shoulders. Maybe longer than her own. He grabbed a sword from the large sheath on his saddle and stalked toward the oncoming rabble of sodden predators.  

She thought…she might have been mistaken but she was fairly sure he’d grabbed a steel sword. Steel would not be very effective on these monsters, if she had sized them up right. She looked to his saddle, seeing the hilt of another blade there. She stepped toward it and slid it out to reveal that this was precisely what had happened. He’d grabbed the wrong weapon in his haste. Well. He was dead. She grabbed the silver sword, sheathing her dagger, and marching toward the scrum around the well-meaning muscle head.

“Selectum ignitus!” She chanted as she wrought her hand in the corresponding motion. This spell burned only victims she chose, leaving others unharmed. It had only stunned these creatures, but it was enough time to allow her would-be hero to catch a small break from his blunder. His thick neck was still in the spindly clutches of one of the largest fish men, apparently less susceptible to fire than the others. Ana stepped up behind him, and with the silver sword, sliced his head clean off at the neck.

“Here.” She said as she tossed him the weapon, the steel sword somewhere on the forest floor to be found later. “They’re waking back up.”

“Mmm.” He mumbled. Right. He was welcome. All this gratitude was just making her blush.

They fought well together, surprisingly. She with her magic and dagger, and he with his signs and sword. She could feel it when he cast them. She noticed him using Aard, so she started casting more similar spells herself. The skirmish was over in minutes. All of the beasts had fallen and she looked at her newfound comrade, both of them covered in blood and muck.

“That was…fun!” She said, in earnest.

“Hmm.” He responded. As if to say, sure, whatever, freak. And began hovering over the corpses, rummaging in his satchel.

“So…these handsome fellows. I’ve never come across them.” She waited a beat, hoping he’d just answer her, knowing that’s what she meant for him to do. Oh, okay. This wasn’t the kind of guy he was. Fair. “What are they?”

“Drowners. Bigger ones are called drowned dead. They come out of the nearby bodies of water.”

How nice. Surely she wouldn’t have any nightmares about that. She'd heard of drowners, as a coastal dweller, but had been fortunate enough to never see one. Until tonight.

“And…not that it’s my business, but…you’re doing what exactly?”

He sighed. “These remains have a lot of useful potion ingredients. I never waste a kill if I can help it. Ginatz’s Acid doesn’t grow on trees, does it?”

“No tree I’ve ever seen, no.” She laughed. He didn’t. Well. This guy would just be a barrel of fun, it seemed. But he did just try to save her life. She should attempt to repay him that kindness. Even if he failed a bit at first, she didn’t know what she would have done if he hadn’t been there.

“Hey, I have a few more spells to do before my camp is fortified for the night, but then I was going to have some dinner in my tent. I have plenty, if you’d like to join. As a thank you for helping me tonight.”

“Camp?”

“Tempora Portia.” She swept her arm down to create a window in the cloaking spell so he could see her camp in the clearing.

He saw the small tent, that looked as though barely two people could lie down in it, much less sit for a meal.

He eyed her warily. “I think you’ll be lucky enough to eat in there by yourself with just a bowl and a spoon.”

“Ever heard of not judging a book by its cover?” She asked. “Trust me. I have a plump pheasant, some really delicious herbs I got on the way here from Aretuza, and some lovely wine! I’ve been saving it until I got here to share with the court, but…” she looked sheepishly at the ruined city on the hillside. “You’re clearly the only surviving citizen, Sir….”

“Geralt. Just Geralt. I’m not a citizen. I was commissioned to come here, just as you were. Only I was sent by…the neighbors…to eliminate the threat before it reached them, too.”

“Right. Geralt. I’m Anathema of Velena. Nice to meet you, and thank you for saving my life tonight.”

“Anathema, thanks for saving mine. And I guess, I’ll take you up on dinner.”

~~~~~~

She told him to finish his scavenging, and cast a charm onto him and his horse, Roach, to allow them to enter through her custom enchantments.

When she was finished securing her campsite, she went inside her tent to clean up. She conjured lots of warm fragrant water into her copper tub. It would have been more relaxing had she not been covered in the muck of battle. The drowner guts were slimy like fish entrails on her skin and in her hair. She was fairly certain that she also had blood from both her own wounds and Geralt’s spattered across what skin had been exposed during the fight.

She reached for her sponge and a bar of soap that smelled of lilac, one of her favorites, and scrubbed until all of the muck, mud, and blood was gone from her skin and hair.

She felt a telltale shudder come from the perimeter of her camp, indicating that her would-be rescuer and his steed had stepped through them. She had put up sheer modesty curtains somewhat arbitrarily, but today she was glad for them. She had just stepped out of the tub and was fully naked when Geralt entered.

“Erm.” He cleared his throat simultaneously announcing his presence and asking if he could come in. She must applaud him for his excellent communication skills.

“Come on in, I’ll be right there.”

She donned a simple, modest wrap dress that went well beyond the duty of a bath robe and looked infinitely more chic, and piled her damp, dark hair into a messy coil high on her head.

“So glad you could join me. Did you get everything you wanted from the creatures?”

“Everything they could give me. Yes.”

“Good. Well, I’ve not started dinner yet, but it won’t be very long. Why don’t you have a bath? You look like you’ve been riding for weeks with no sleep and you’re caked in the muck of a dozen battles like the one we were just in. I’ll clean and mend your clothes, too.”

“I’m fine thank you.”

“Oh, please? You’ll enjoy dinner so much more if you’re not concerned with how you smell…plus my table isn’t so big that…I couldn’t smell you too.” She giggled. “So as a courtesy to your cook and table mate?”

She looked at him with her doe eyes. Maybe that would work. She loved helping people and making them feel better. She thought he was restraining a smirk. He complied with a grunt and a nod.

“Splendid. I’ll get you some wine, too. I love wine with a bath! Don’t you!?”

“That and silence.” Point taken. She’d let him relax.

He stood in the corner of the bathing alcove as she conjured bath water for him.

“Agua fragra fieretta.” she spoke, and the tub filled with steamy water that smelled like spearmint, cedar, and a hint of lavender. Her own had smelled so different. She hadn’t realized it seemed to change depending on who you were drawing the bath for, never having done so for anyone but herself.

She dug around for a sandalwood soap and a new sponge and set them out for him on the small side table.

“Here you are. I’ll be right back with your penis! I mean, woah. Sorry.” She had turned around at the wrong moment. She knew he’d been taking off his shirt when she was rummaging. But she assumed modesty would mandate that he wait for her to leave before removing his trousers. She had been mistaken. He stood there as naked as the day the midwife pulled him from his mother, hands on his hips just like it was the most blasé thing to ever happen.

“It’s fine. I don’t really think about being shy anymore. Sorry. My clothes are on that stool if you want them. Thanks.”

“Right, great. I’ll be right back with a towel and wine. That’s what I was going to say before. And yeah, then I’ll see what I can do for those clothes.”

She left, procured the wine and a towel, and hurried back, placing the cup audibly on the table so she didn’t have to speak to him. She was so embarrassed. She grabbed his clothes and sat them on the settee for later. She was somehow both glad and disappointed that he did not acknowledge her.

Now, she needed to work on dinner. She’d gotten a lovely pheasant this afternoon with her bow. She’d been gathering fragrant herbs of all kinds along her journey and had traded some of them at market for potatoes, carrots, garlic and pearl onions. She prepped the pheasant, stuffing it with the vegetables, herbs, and some salt and pepper, and rubbed it down on the outside with some olive oil and seasoning. She placed it in her camp oven to cook in the infused oil and its own juices, basting it every so often.

She magically cleaned and mended Geralt’s clothes and tried unsuccessfully not to think about the body that they covered. His arms were as thick as the average man’s legs and his legs were not unlike tree trunks, albeit much more shapely. His chest was monolithic with two great pecs and six well-defined abs. He was also perfectly hairy. No one would confuse him with a bear, but this was definitely no boy. No boy, at all. And Mother Melitele herself would weep at the sight of the cock on this man. Long. At least halfway down his thigh. She didn’t get that good a look, but she thought it was veiny. And it was definitely thick…although she couldn’t compare it to much. To anything, really. Not even the instruments used on her the day she ascended to her current state of perfection. She'd been given powerful herbs to sedate her until the transformation was complete.

She’d arrived at Aretuza a sluggish and overweight wallflower with tiny breasts. When she went over her desires for her new form with the “miracle worker” as she liked to call him, she asked him to upgrade her in every way he could, but to keep her eyes the same shade of green they’d always been. She’d felt that the eyes were too directly attached to the soul and to change them was going too far. The rest, however, was fair game.

And this was her first assignment since her ascension, so she hadn’t been anywhere but her home, which was an unforgiving place, and Aretuza. Little opportunity for romance had presented itself. And she wasn’t even sure how romance would go for her at this point. Were mages adored for their power? Beauty? Or who they were as people independent of those attributes? Was that all she was now? A beautiful magician? She suddenly felt a small pang of regret.

Her eyes shifted involuntarily now to the bath partition. Must have been the movement she caught out of the corner of her eye. Geralt was taking a drink of wine, a very long drink, and when he set the goblet back down, he leaned his head back with a contented sigh. She took the clothes back to the stool when she’d finished, smiled at the scarred, and incredibly heroic man before her, and popped away to finish dinner.

~~~~~~~

She busied herself setting the table with modest candles, and conjuring an extra setting for Geralt. She filled a pitcher with an “agua potum” spell and put her wine vessel out. As she was tabling the pheasant, her eye caught movement again in the “bath room.” Geralt had gotten out of the tub and was drying off. His back was no less impressive than his front and his ass was like a fresh, crisp apple. She’d always loved apples. In her dreamy haze, she'd come too close to the hot camp oven and burned her hand. She let out a whispered but audible “fuck” and brought her hand quickly to her mouth to cool the fire with saliva.

It helped a little, but not much. She continued to prepare as Geralt got dressed and he was out right as dinner was on, wine goblet in hand.

“Smells nice.” He complemented. She was shocked, but still in a lot of pain from the burn.

“It better be the best fucking thing I’ve eaten in ages to make it worth searing the skin off my finger here!” She put her hand to her mouth again, and brought it out, shaking it.

He sat his goblet on the table and went outside, all without a word. She was confused. Wondering how she could have offended him, but honestly, not really caring. She’d tried. She sat down. Exhausted. He came back in with the satchel he’d been wearing and packing with solutions from those corpses.

He walked around the table to kneel in front of her, held out his hand, and raised his eyebrow expectantly. She gave him her injured hand, extending her index finger to indicate the affected area.

“You know, I’ve seen men lose half their faces to fire. This isn’t so bad.” He rifled through the bag for a vial of clear oil with bits of purple floating in it.

“Did they live?” She asked, amused.

“A few.” He smirked, dabbing a small amount of the oil onto his index finger and applying it to hers.

Her relief was instant and evident on her face.

“Wow, that feels so much better. Thank you! What is that?”

“A simple infusion. Oil of lavender. Here.” He gave her the vial.

“Oh I couldn’t.”

“Take it. I make more all the time. It’s damn near free. I’ll show you how, too, so you're prepared for next time. It’s essential for a healer’s kit. Many uses.” These were more words than she’d heard him speak all together since they’d met. She decided not to remark upon it.

“Well thank you. I hope you’re hungry! I think the pheasant is ready to be torn!”

They filled their plates with juicy, savory sections of the bird and large chunks of the vegetables that had become pleasantly tender inside it. Thyme and rosemary, onion and garlic danced off the tongue, complimented by the salt and a dash of ground peppercorn for zest. For once, a meal tasted even better than it had smelled and she had forgotten the terror of the fight with the drowners, the pain of her burn, even the startling sight of the naked man in her tent, and relaxed into the pleasure of a delicious meal.

This is one of the reasons I was fat before, she told herself. And made sure she stopped eating before she'd filled herself to gluttony.

She noticed that her companion was eating…enthusiastically. She was on the verge of saying ravenously, but there was an element of refinement to it that forbade her from using the more savage descriptor. He seldom drank, and most rarely from his water cup.  He liked the wine, then. She liked this fellow. Quite a lot. He stabbed large portions onto his fork and put them easily into his wide mouth. But even though he took larger bites, he did take his time in chewing, savoring the succulent food. She appreciated this from him.

"You're going to have to finish the poor bird off. I'm stuffed." she patted her tummy, demure now, as it had never been in her recent memory.

"Hmm." he grunted in protest. This one she couldn't quite translate past general disagreement.

"What?" she prodded.

"We both know you didn't need any help taking down this bird alone. Even with the vegetables. It's all incredible, by the way. Best meal I've had in ages."

"First of all, thank you, I quite liked it too, and secondly, it's called restraint. Ever heard of it?" she sassed him back.

"I've heard of it, yes. Can't say we've ever crossed paths, though." he held her gaze as he drank deeply from his goblet. Was it suddenly warmer in the tent?

"Well, it might be a good idea to seek it out here and there." she said, hiding well the feathers he'd just ruffled. "Food and I have a volatile history. I have to show restraint or all of this is gone." she indicated her physical form. She hadn't truly intended to make him look at her, but he was. He was holding her in his gaze in a way that was utterly alien to her.

"Mmm." he grunted, as if to express his understanding.

"But enough about me. What about you? It's not every day I meet a witcher!"

His amber eyes met hers, inscrutable, but not pleased.

"You knew."

"Of course I knew. I have eyes and ears, and all kinds of senses working. And all of them caught wind of what you were the moment you dismounted your horse."

"And yet you helped me. Fought with me. Saved me."

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Most people don't want a witcher around. They'd prefer the monsters we kill. Even when we're summoned to communities, invited, we're a pariah until the job is done. We're seen as the…lesser evil."

"Tell me Geralt. Did you make the choice to become a witcher?"

"No."

"Do you think I made the choice to be a conduit?" This question, he didn't answer. She thought he may not know. She decided then to tell him her story. How she came to be a mage, and the hell she went through to get where she was.

"Do you know what my nickname was as a child? It wasn't anything cute, like a vegetable or fruit or a baked good, or even a cuddly little creature, no. No term of endearment would suit me. I was called 'Rat.' Because you see, as I mentioned, I have a complicated past where food is concerned, and this comes from my youth. When I would sneak into the pantries and steal food. My mother and the staff thought at first there was a large rat, or even a raccoon behind the lost inventory, for at first, I left behind traces and made a mess of things. But after a while, I got good. Covered my tracks. Then mother started blaming the staff. Beating them, then firing most of them. No one seemed to notice how fat I was getting. Me being the middle of five girls. Eldest two sisters already married off to wealthy business men from town and bringing the bratty little grandchildren around, the younger girls learning dance and music, and generally being full of charm. I was in the background. Until one night, mother found me. She was searching the pantry for a tonic for indigestion when she saw me burrowing, trying to hide between sacks of potatoes. She hauled me out and dove for a long wooden spoon on the worktop in the kitchen. She beat me bloody with that spoon. I couldn't sit and could hardly walk for days."

She took a drink from her goblet, fortifying her. She didn't tell this story often. In fact, she hadn’t told anyone but her best friend Codrick, the blacksmith's apprentice. And that had taken many years.

"She started giving me smaller portions at dinner. Insisting that I wouldn't find a husband in my current state and threatening to sell me to a brothel if I didn't marry in good time. I was nearly starving, but still not getting thin fast enough to satisfy her. She made me run around the perimeter of our grounds. If I wasn't back in time, she'd set our wild bull out after me. There were a few times I was nearly gored. But I kept sneaking into the cupboards late at night. They were locked now, but once I told Codrick what was happening, he helped me by forging me a spare key. She kept calling me 'Rat' which was interesting. As if the sneaking and stealing was the more deplorable side of me than my actual size. She never called me 'Pig.' Perhaps because at least pigs had a use. Pigs could be sold or slaughtered for food. Rats were just a nuisance. The last time she caught me, she hauled me into the kitchen and reached for her wooden spoon again. But this time, when she reared back to strike at me, the spoon had turned into a vicious raven. It squalled and flailed and she let go of it, shooing it away. But it didn't relent. It clawed and pecked at her head and face until her hair was patchy and ragged and her face was a bloody mess. One eye was completely gone, the other, likely to be lost. But she could see well enough to tell where the raven landed after it had left her alone. Right beside me, as if it was trying to calm my still quivering form."

"So that was your conduit moment?" Geralt asked, knowing the answer.

"Yes. Lady de Vries showed up at our door not a moment too soon. The Madame from the local brothel had just agreed to my mother's price. There was a rather tense moment where the money had already changed hands and Tissaia had to threaten both women with rather unpleasant repercussions. She was having me and there would be no arguments. Actually, though, the whole experience of being fought over gave me the confidence I needed to confess my true feelings to Codrick and kiss him before we left the town. I'd fancied him for years but never had the guts to tell him."

"I'm sure you have a point to telling me this life story of yours." Geralt said, patiently, but clearly ready for her to wrap it up.

"Right. Sorry. My point is, most of us that are born or imbued with magic have some story like this. I'm certain you're no different. I could go on with horrors at Aretuza, too, just like I'm sure you could with stories of…where was it you were trained? Kaer Morhen?"

He looked at her skeptically.

"Wolf amulet around your neck. School of the Wolf. I thought that was Kaer Morhen."

"Mmhmm." oh, a two syllable grunt. His vocabulary was proving vast.

"Why shun you over a life you didn't choose? And if I have a fucked up past too, and I'm still dealing with that trauma, what right would I have to dismiss you or consider you an unworthy brother in arms? Or dinner companion? Or maybe even travel companion? After all, we fought well together and we don't know what's out there laying waste to the countryside."

"Suppose you're right."

"About which part?" this always happened to her as someone who never shut up. She never knew whether "you're right" was a blanket statement covering an entire monologue, or just certain parts that someone wanted to subscribe to.

"The first part. I'm still not sure about traveling companions. Or mages, if I'm honest. No offense."

"None taken. If it makes you feel better, I'm still very new to being a mage. I don't have any bad mage habits. I'm not even that good of a mage. I had to hand assemble this tent before I spelled it."

"Well, you did a fine job." he chuckled. "It looked…sturdy, from the outside."

"That's what I was going for. And why don't you just…try me for this expedition. I'll sign a contract saying that it's not your fault if I die. Not that anyone would care. Plus, we'll live in luxury every night, and I can make anything taste delicious with bare minimum ingredients."

"Tempting, but won't it be a little…cozy with both of us in here?"

She looked at him, incredulous.

"Remember the part where I'm a mage?" she walked over to the sitting area and contorted her hands toward the wall. "Addendum Sanctorum."

She beckoned him through a new flap in the canvas to a modest, but still accommodating room with a large, plush bed, a few sturdy, simple chairs, a small table, and a bathing area of its own, complete with a stash of sponges, soaps, and towels.

"See? It may not be all of the comforts of home, but it's hardly roughing it compared to the alternative, am I wrong?" She turned to look at him, but he was much closer than she'd expected him to be. She looked directly up into that piercing amber gaze that was unlike any she'd seen before. And he looked so…dangerous. And yet she wasn't afraid. At least not primarily. What she was mostly feeling was desire. She wanted those strong, skilled hands to touch her. She wanted to be held. She hadn't been held since she was a child. And a very young one, at that. She could feel something mutual coursing between them. And that was the thing that terrified her. The thought that he might be hungry for her in that way. He ran his hand along the slope of her temple and cheek down to her chin.

"I don't recall saying I'd mind sharing a cozy space with you, Ana."

TBC in Part Two

[promiscuous-jalapeno]

Happy Blogiversary! I'm grateful for all the content you've shared with us! And thank you for being here ♥️ If you're still taking requests, I'd like to ask for Silence - a fable or The Man of the Crowd (from the poe prompts) for Jinpachi from SLBP. Feel free to skip this if you don't want to do it, but thank you very much if you do :) Have a great day!

Thank you so much, dear! (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡ I would be more than happy to! Jinpachi is a fav I love him so much! Also, this really got away from me omg. This is not a drabble, it turned into a one-shot haha. 

────────────────

{Nezu Jinpachi}

│The Man of the Crowd│following, curiosity, fascination

────────────────

     It had only been a bit of harmless self-indulgence. That’s what he had told himself. Yet he knew indulgences, albeit even harmless ones, were not suited to shinobi. Jinpachi was unaccustomed to acting of his own accord as he had oft of late, and even in the slivers of downtime, he couldn’t come up with plausible reasoning behind his actions. Aside from the obvious–he had, for the first time, been captivated. 

     She had twisted her ankle in town when first they met, a heavy basket of daikon and various vegetables toppling into the street. He had gotten her permission before wrapping the delicate thing in a strip of white cloth. And her hand was so small as it slid into his for support. Soft. Is this what a woman’s hand feels like?  Later, he’d ponder if perhaps only hers could feel that way against his skin. 

     “Thank you, I’m sorry to trouble you,” she apologized, and Jinpachi had not missed the wince as she stood. Nor the way the sun’s rays illuminated her face as she looked up to him with a smile. It made his heart knot in his throat. 

     But he was an expert at hiding even this. He was practiced. He was calm. The unreadable expression so many had deemed aloof would come at his benefit, after all. 

     “It’s nothing. But can you walk?” 

     “My restaurant isn’t far from here, I can manage,” she hobbled. 

     Jinpachi’s face pulled from stoic to troubled frown. “If it’s not far, then allow me to assist you.” 

     “I couldn’t possi-” 

     “Forgive me,” Jinpachi interjected. He had already extracted the basket from her grasp and was now wrapping an arm around her waist in support. 

     He couldn’t help but notice the beautiful blush on her face when they finally made it inside the establishment, and she had a hard time making eye contact after he placed her at a vacant table. Had he done something uncouth? 

     He had only touched her enough to be of help, he frowned pensively. Yet she continued to stumble over her words. The more she attempted to conceal her flushed face the more desperate he grew to see it. It’s not as if he had never seen a woman’s blush before, however. Women fell over themselves for a chance to blush at his Lord. But this…this was different. She was different. Somehow. 

     Despite his protests for her rest, she cooked for him in gratitude. And when he ate at his usual rapid pace she laughed. Oh, heaven. She laughed! And the sound sent him choking on a mouthful of rice. 

     “I’m sorry,” she finished laughing. The melody faded into her light pants like the sound of rustling leaves carried off on autumn wind. “That was rude of me, wasn’t it.” 

     “No, I’m…often told my eating habits are strange.” Among other things, he thought, shifting his gaze uncomfortably. No matter how many times he’d heard the remarks about his peculiar stoicism or the speed at which he ate, there was simply no changing the habits of one such as a shinobi. That did not, however, make him less self-conscious in the present moment. 

     “I’m not laughing because I think it’s strange,” she corrected. “I laughed because, in a shocked sort of way, it made me happy.” 

     Happy? Now who was the strange one, he thought. This was the first time anyone had regarded him with normalcy. Aside from Nobuyuki, that is. But Nobuyuki was far from normal, himself. The confusion must have registered on his face, and she explained while pouring more tea. 

     “You ever feel like you were just born to do something?” 

     Yes. He gave a nod.

     “Well, that’s cooking for me. My father left this restaurant before he died. I guess in that sense, I would have ended up a cook either way, but…I’m lucky to love what I do every day. Seeing people enjoy my food like you just did, well, it gives me great pride. So yeah, I was happy to see you eat so quickly.” 

     “Is that so…I’m sorry about your father.” 

     “It’s alright,” she sighed wistfully, “his memory lives on in the recipes, at least. Would you like some more?” 

     Yes. He gave a nod.

──────

     That night he couldn’t forget her. What if she fell in town again? Trouble always seemed to follow women as kind as she. And what’s more, the whole reason they had come to Kyoto was to track thieves fleeing Sanada lands. What if she had been accosted while mindlessly thinking about recipes? 

     What if they happened upon her restaurant and caused trouble? The blame would be his, in his failure to apprehend. Yes, he had a duty. Yes, he decided. Maybe he had better check on her once more. 

     Out of sight, he watched her day. Her early morning service prep and the elegant way she tied her sleeves back, hands of grace chopping vegetables into uniform bits while she hummed to herself. 

     He watched her the day after. And the day after that. 

     The way she lit up the town when out went shopping for ingredients. Jinpachi couldn’t help but smile at the charming way she held up each bit of produce for inspection. She was a curious one, indeed. He didn’t know what she was looking for. 

     She’d sniff and poke and weigh two against each other in her hands, quirking an eyebrow with pensive concentration. He couldn’t understand what drove her to care at such lengths over a simple onion or radish, but oddly enough, that made it all the more endearing to watch. 

     He felt a twinge in his chest when a young grocer stepped a little too close to her one afternoon. 

     “A discount again? But there’s nothing wrong with these…I couldn’t accept, I’d feel like I was taking advantage of you,” she kindly protested.

     “Don’t be silly! Look, I’m stopping by your restaurant after I close up shop here. If you’re still feeling guilty you can always treat me to some sake, on the house,” he grinned. “Even better if you decide to share it with me.” 

     This guy…there was no mistaking that tone and what he was implying. Jinpachi’s lips pressed into a thin line…Using a favor as leverage against her. He wanted to tell him as much, but meddling was never his forte. 

     Besides, what if she was actually interested in his company? The thought turned his stomach. Still, such an underhanded tactic…he waited until she left and settled for hurling a hearty pebble at his head. Cocky smile growing on his face when the man yelped, rubbing the wound and looking up at the sky in confusion. 

     And the man did show up that evening as promised, but she paid him no more mind than any other customer. She smiled as she did for everyone else. She poured only when necessary. And though his eyes were trained on her, she seemed fixated on stealing glances at the door. 

──────

     Her path to and from shopping had a few rough spots. Thieves and gamblers and drunks loitering around. The usual. Too dangerous to be left alone, surely. But nothing he could not handle in a day. Those that couldn’t be verbally threatened away were subdued so easily he hadn’t the need to use weapons at all. 

     “You’re back awfully fast!” he heard her mother exclaim. 

     “It’s the craziest thing,” she huffed, placing the heavy produce on the counter before throwing her hands on her hips, “all of the shortcuts home have been practically empty lately.” 

      “Now that you mention, the crime around here seems to have gone down. I wonder what’s going on?” 

     “I don’t know, but whatever it is I hope it stays this way,” she laughed. 

     Jinpachi smiled. 

──────

     When visiting her father’s grave she was surprised to see a bundle of fresh vibrant flowers already placed. Curiously she picked them up to examine them, looking around for a sign of anyone else on the lonesome hill. The only answer a silent swift breeze. 

──────

     The day he saw her eyeing a peach a little too long, he couldn’t resist buying it. Finding a way to slip near her in the crowd and toss it at the top of her basket. The surprised noise she made when she arrived home and discovered it was gift enough for him. And the pleasured ‘Mmm’ she made when she bit into the juicy thing, even more so. She looked around curiously, clutching it between her palms like a treasure. 

──────

     It was best this way. He was comfortable in this. Ever the invisible hand from the shadows. He needn’t glory nor recognition for his deeds, these small moments were enough. But it never occurred to him that he might simply be frightened at the idea of anything else. 

     Not until this night, when she had closed up and sat alone, her family all gone to sleep. A single bright lantern and her gaze fixed at the door. He wondered what she was thinking, her cheek resting in her palm as she sighed. Maybe she was having trouble sleeping. Or was she was ill?  He hoped she wasn’t. 

     But then he watched her reach into her sleeve and retrieve something in a balled fist. He wasn’t thinking anything, then. Time slowed. Finger by dainty finger she unfurled. Eyes trained down she untangled a familiar white strip of cloth with care. 

     He was thinking everything, then. 

     Eyes wide and heart racing he left as fast as he could manage. It couldn’t be. He’d imagined it. Surely, he did. It was something else. It didn’t matter, either way...he wasn’t staying in Kyoto. 

     “You’re rather late again.” Nobuyuki’s brush stilled before he placed it on the writing desk. His face was illuminated by dancing lantern light. 

     “Forgive me,” was all Jinpachi replied. He had been concentrating on the evening of his breath. Shutting the shoji behind him, he quietly took a seat against the wall. If he spoke now, Nobuyuki would surely catch on that something was amiss. He was far too clever for anyone’s good.  

     “Jinpachi.” 

     Oh no. “Yes, My Lord.” He knew that tone. 

     “Who is she?” 

     Oh no…How? “She?” 

     Nobuyuki smiled. “Your thoughts are preoccupied, you arrive late almost every evening. And you apprehended the bandits days ago…or did you think I would not find out?” 

     “I…” It was not as if he was purposefully hiding that fact. Though, he had told himself he might have missed one somewhere. That one had gotten away. That they needed to stay a little longer, to be sure. Absolutely sure. Perhaps it was all just a selfish excuse after all. Suddenly, he felt terrible. 

     “Come now,” Nobuyuki laughed lightly, shrugging it off, “no need to look like a child caught sneaking sweets. I was beginning to think I’d never get to see this side of you, old friend.” His face fell into a more serious expression, and he picked up the brush once more. Making one last point before turning back to his work. “But we depart for Ueda in two days’ time. I trust you know what I mean by that.” 

     Yes. He nodded. “By your will.” 

──────

     If she did not remember him, it would be just as well. And why would she? He was quiet and near impossible to understand. They had only met once. If he walked in and she gave him the usual empty courtesies, he would drink he tea and leave quietly. 

     Had what he seen the night before truly been a mirage built from exhaustion and buried hopes, that would be alright. But if she did remember him, then maybe…No. It was not likely. 

     The town was painted in scarlet when he finally had the restaurant in his sights. He’d faced death countless times over. He’d been surrounded by enemies, sword to sword with foe’s in battle, yet nothing gave his heart chase like parting that noren and stepping inside the mouth of fate. 

     “Jinpachi!” she beamed immediately. The face he had grown to love cheerily peeked out from the back room. He could swear she practically skipped to him from the kitchen. “I was…hoping I’d see you again.” 

[sleepymarmot]

The Untamed liveblog, eps. 22-32.5

God, that’s so many!

22

The opening scene is Healing

Poor Yanli D: This is hard to watch

Ooh, Meng Yao as a spy makes more sense. I was thinking about Qing or Ning and wondering since when either of them counted as Xichen's "old friend".

23

"Yin Iron" "Stygian Tiger Amulet" THESE ARE LITERALLY THE SAME WORD "YIN" WHY DO YOU TRANSLATE IT IN ONE CASE AND NOT THE OTHER

It's painful to watch the fear and reverence Meng Yao still holds for his father figure. The flinching, the hiding, the immediate supplication -- when was the last time he felt safe and respected, before the bullying with the Nie and having to watch and even partake in atrocities with the Wen? I hope he can finally have some good things in his life now.

"These past few days when you were in a coma, Second Young Master Lan came here every morning and evening and played his guqin for you to relax your mind and spirit. If he hadn't done that, I'm afraid you wouldn't have woken up so soon." Awwwww!!!

Ohh so now that your illegitimate son is a hero you want to acknowledge him huh!!! Motherfucker

LOVE how Xichen immediately calls him "A-Yao" while standing right between his shitty fathers

This is not the context I expected for their first duet

LWJ just took his sword in a dignified and showy gesture and left the banquet, and now I can't stop thinking of an urban fantasy where people use magic with their phones and grab them from the table in the same dramatic manner when they need to leave

MOTHERFUCKER not only uses Yao to make himself look better but does this shit to the Jiangs too. Is he that malicious, or that stupid?

Wei Wuxian to the rescue!

24

Love how WWX enters dramatically, helps his siblings, and leaves

"...and he has an intimate relationship with Second Young Master Lan..." excuse me?

I gotta say, as someone living in a country of ill reputation which official symbol is a two-headed eagle, every close-up on the Wen two-headed eagle as a symbol of malice has me in stitches

wait, the old Lan master is still alive? where has he been all this time?

Cheng, if you can't control your anger, maybe you shouldn't be a teacher

When will it finally occur to WWX to consult with Wen Qing, the only person in the world who knows his secret

Wow, Cheng really disappointed me. I did not expect him to be this prejudiced. Does he secretly think the same way of WWX too? If you're of even slightly lower birth, you're forever a nobody? His mother indoctrinated him well... When WWX turned to him with a surprised expression, I really thought it was to call him out on this... Btw I'm really nervous of where Yao's storyline is going -- if it'll end in "he's scheming and ignoble, what else could be expected from a bastard" I'm going to flip a table

25

One of advantages of a flute over a sword is that you can twirl it in your hand in casual conversation

So they're really making Guangyao evil huh :/

Unbelievable that nobody had enough decency to free the prisoners

YANLI WENT OFF

This is outrageous! Yanli should have escalated in response. You're accusing me of incest? Well I have another brother, would you accuse him too? Should I go and officially inform my brother, the leader of the clan, that clan Jin has delivered a terrible insult to the entire clan Jiang? Etc. How can one just stand quietly and take that?!

God it sucks to be Yanli and have the most dramatic and scandalous moments of your romantic life happen in front of literally everyone

Hell yeah WWX and Qing can finally talk!

26

Uh, have we met Su She before? And what is Guangyao's mistake? That he invited a disobedient vassal of clan Lan as if he's a representative of an independent clan?

Wise things to do when you discover your "ally" is committing war crimes: explain in detail to people in power you trust, like your relatives or friends, and form a united front with them Less wise things: run away with little explanation, leaving a whole village of corpses behind

27

Why can't JC just say Qing and Ning saved his life?! Surely that would hold more weight than the vague "they helped us"

I just realized who immoral advisor!Guangyao reminds me of: Weyoun. Exactly the same facial expression!

omg WWX is so good with kids

current cause of heartache: Jiang Cheng suppressing his smile when WWX is parenting a little child

28

really gonna kill your brother or die trying because he wants to live independently in a wasteland with a handful of refugees, huh

I truly don't understand why JC is being so stupid and selfish about this. I thought his hatred would be the result of misunderstanding or lies, but he's just being like "oh woe is me, my brother is doing the right thing and that's improper"

GIRL DO YOU WANT TO MARRY THIS NERD OR NOT MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MIND this storyline is becoming really unbearable

"I have a child", "You're pretty but always grumpy", and other heartfelt greetings for your crush whom you accidentally met on the street while being considered a war criminal

"IF THE ZOO BANS ME FOR HOLLERING AT THE ANIMALS I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL" is pretty much the summary of WWX's actions in the last two episodes

tbh a bit disappointed that Wei Wuxian Literally Did Nothing Wrong and his reputation was just misunderstanding or propaganda. Well, the flashback isn't over yet, he has time to do something worth throwind himself off a cliff over!

It's episode 28 and I just noticed the ending titles have inbuilt Chinese subtitles for the song. No such courtesy from the translation!

29

had the perfect moment to kiss when they were alone in the cave but alas, censorship

wow he really replaced Cheng with Qing as the Sibling To Bicker With

not very nice of him to use Wen Ning as a personal zombie servant!

30

Hilarious how Yanli "generously" brought a bowl to Ning but he has to eat while still awkwardly standing outside. this is a show about the Highest Echelons of Nobility and nobody else is invited

it's very bittersweet how they pretend nothing happened and act like a normal family again

wait, so that fight was just pretend? what? for whose benefit??

Why is Qing so upset that WWX was visited by his siblings?

god, that decoration is ENTIRELY lotus-themed

so he's going to crash his sister's wedding, make a scene, and everything goes straight to hell and leads into the endgame. correct?

there's highkey Murder in Guangyao's eyes for all that LWJ wears his face like a mask, that's even more noticeable with JGY. You can really hear the kill bill sirens going off behind his eyes in pretty much any given scene he's been running on pure self-preservation as long as he can remember himself. he doesn't know any lasting way of interacting with the world other than kissing the ass of his current boss because he has never had the chance to learn one. I don't know if he even comprehends how the others despise him for it.

31

oh, Guangyao is making preparations for taking over everything huh? so he's gonna use the celebration to murder someone and frame WWX? very ironic that only yesterday I wrote that Yao "has done nothing wrong ever in his life". welp. he's done SOME things wrong since then!

oh alright so the murder and framing have already been happening. when JGY looked like he poisoned that dude it was because he did

torn between "wtf happened" and "that's what happens when you're a pet class but your pet attacks the wrong target". at least now I understand why everyone hated him! oh boy, I really don't want to watch what is about to happen

poor Yanli just can't have nice things

I was afraid Qing would confess love... That would have been very unnecessary, so thank god!

this is very much not the context I expected for the "Wen siblings in the Jin residence" image in the opening sequence

32

Why didn't WWX turn himself in? I thought that was what he came for?

Is "cremains" a real word in the English language?!

IT'S NOT EVEN A BIG WOUND JUST CALL HER A HEALER! WANGJI CAN HEAL AND HE'S RIGHT THERE!!! alright, THAT was a big wound. just seconds after I typed the sentence above...

33

"Well, maybe this time it will go differently" thought I, laughing at my futile hope, as the opening scene of the show was replaying. And then, to my surprise, it WAS slightly different!

Now it's time to rewatch some moments from the first two episodes with new understanding. And then call it a day, because finally the race to find out what happened is over, and there's a perfect spot to take a break at the end of the big arc.