#to embrace your doomed love desperately
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They’re so precious. I really wanted to join the s2Jayce/s1Viktor aus and scenarios. It’s so angsty and romantic.
ps. I hope this kind of post doesn’t get me in trouble with this site and its restrictions.
#Jayvik#jayce x viktor#jayce talis#jayce arcane#arcane viktor#viktor s1#arcane fanart#arcane season 2#to embrace your doomed love desperately#fanart#my art#mgp1e’s art
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─── LOVE ME HARDER ୨୧

PAIRING. fem!reader x bf!park sunghoon CONTENT. smut , petnames , p in v , unprotected sex (don't do it !!) , cursing , grinding , skinship (duh ;3) , slight breast and nipple play , big dick hoon agenda , some dirty talk , fluff , hoon is so sweet and compliant </3 NOTE. i'm back :3 and this is my new years gift for u all, enjoy !!

you and sunghoon loved being close to one another. your guy's favorite was simply cuddling, it just felt so intimate, so raw. well, it really was the most intimate you and sunghoon had ever gotten— if you don't consider make-out sessions.
it's not that you didn't want to have sex with him, of course you did. you just weren't sure how to approach it, how you'd express the want to get fucked by him. and yeah, you'd thought about it before. you'd thought about how he'd ruin you, how his abs would flex while he'd thrust into you, god— you needed him so bad.
and unbeknownst to you, sunghoon felt the exact same, if not worse. he ached for you, to be inside of you. he dreamt about how your pussy would feel around him. wet, tight and warm, all for him. he'd been suppressing his need to fuck for awhile, and it'd just got to a point where he couldn't suppress it any longer. first, he tried jerking off with your panties— and it worked... for two days. then, he tried using a fleshlight. that also didn't work. he thought he was doomed, he didn't want to force himself on you. sunghoon was just unsure if you wanted him like that, yet.
tonight was like any other night, you two came home from work, ate dinner, got ready for bed, and found your way into each other's embrace. in the form of cuddling, of course.
you were wearing your favorite silk pajamas tonight. a long sleeve top and tiny shorts, slightly see-through. sunghoon tried his best to keep himself from ogling at you, you looked so fucking sexy. thankfully, he did a good job because you definitely didn't notice.
"you smell so good, my love" sunghoon says sweetly while nuzzling his face into your hair.
"thank you hoonie, used the conditioner and shampoo set you bought me" you tell him while shifting your body to find a comfortable position.
unfortunately for sunghoon, this caused your ass to rub against his crotch, and fuck. it felt good.
you suddenly felt a firm grip around your waist, pulling you closer.
"hoon what are y-" he's quick to cut you off, pressing his erection against your plump ass.
you gasp at the feeling, and so does sunghoon.
"fuck, this okay, yeah?" he asks in a breathy whisper, already lost in the feeling.
you mumble a "yes" in response. the way his clothed dick was pressed against your clothed ass felt way too good.
immediately, he starts roughly grinding his erection on your ass, too needy to hold himself back any longer.
"feels so good hoon" you manage to say while pushing your ass against him, increasing the pleasure.
this makes sunghoon let out a guttural groan. he swiftly flips you over so that he's on top of you. sunghoon quickly gets rid of his black tank top and his large but pretty hands find their way to your breasts— cupping them.
you whimpered in pleasure. wasting no time, you quickly wrapped your arms around and pulled him into a wet and sloppy kiss. you weren't thinking, you were just doing.
sunghoon then pulls away, abruptly. before you knew it, he had rolled up your top to expose your breasts, and was toying with your hardened nipples with his mouth. you'd never experienced such insane pleasure, you were truly losing it— in a good way, of course.
sunghoon didn't realize how much of a daze he was in. he loved how pretty and perky your breasts were. how pretty your light brown nipples were.
"m' hoon, need more, need you in me" you moan out while desperately grinding your hips harder against his.
he couldn't deny you of what you wanted.
in one swift motion, sunghoon pulls your top over your head and rids of your little pajama shorts.
"look at you baby, so pretty. didn't even wear any underwear under your little jammies" he says while leaving sloppy, open-mouthed kisses from your neckline to your tummy— all you could do was just moan in response.
you've grown quite needy at this point, and so you quickly sit up and tug down his grey sweats to reveal his hardened cock hidden beneath his calvin klein boxers.
sunghoon is caught off guard by your actions, but he loves it. he loves that you're just as needy for him as he is for you.
you bring your palm up to his clothed dick, causing sunghoon's hips to buck up into your hand involuntarily.
"shit princess" you hear him say in a breathy moan.
and before you could even blink, sunghoon tugs down his boxers and kicks them away, leaving you both bare. he looked unreal. his muscles and erect cock all on display, just for you, was really doing something to you.
"gonna prep you, yeah?" he looks at you with a sweet and loving gaze, admiring your pretty self.
you just nod eagerly, you couldn't form an actual response. you were just thinking of how well he'd fill you up. his cock was atleast 6 1/2 inches and was a pretty shade of pink, fitting for sunghoon.
sunghoon bends down and brings his hand to your cunt and spreads your glistening folds. you moan, again. god, sunghoon could cum from just pleasuring you.
wasting no time, he plunges two fingers into your hole— easily sliding them in due to how wet you are.
"so wet for me baby, shit. gonna fuck you so good princess" he feels you clench around his fingers at his dirty words.
"hoon, please" you whine. you needed him in you, now.
he didn't need to hear anything else. he quickly took his fingers out of your sopping cunt. the way they were glistening with your wetness got him even harder. without any thought, he brought his fingers to your mouth and you immediately started sucking on them.
fuck, you were absolutely perfect.
and thank god you'd been drinking pineapple juice for the past few days.
sunghoon brings his other hand to his cock and pumps it a few times. you wrap your legs around his waist and pull him closer. you just always want him closer, even if you're already close enough.
he rubs the tip of his cock along your wet core, causing you both to gasp in pleasure. and next thing you know, he's lifting your hips up to align his cock with your entrance.
you're so eager to be fucked by him, too eager. so eager that you bring your hips closer to his so that his cock finally slides into of you.
"so tight for me baby, shitt" he says in a breathy moan. the way your warm walls were so perfectly sucking him in was causing him to lose all of his sanity.
he was so big. the way he filled you up was more than you could've ever dreamt of. you felt like you were having an out-of-body experience, right now.
what started off as slow thrusts then turned into rapid thrusts— at an animalistic pace. sunghoon was really losing it. you both were, honestly. the way his balls slapped against your ass cheeks every time he thrusted into you was making you see stars.
"so good for me, such a nice pussy, baby fuckk" he wraps his muscular arms around your torso and pulls you up, closer to him. this new position causes his dick to reach even deeper and you swear you're on cloud 9.
you're quick to bring your faces closer together and connect your guy's lips in a very wet and sloppy kiss.
you could already feel the knot in your stomach. with the way sunghoon was fucking you, you'd be cumming anytime now.
sunghoon could tell that, too— by your body language and the way you were moaning and screaming his name.
"fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck hoonie faster !" you scream, desperately.
sunghoon compliantly starts thrusting into you at an even quicker pace, if that was even humanly possible.
"your little cunt was made for me, all for me, shit" he grunts and brings one of his hands to your breast to squeeze it.
"been dreaming of fucking you for so long, princess, pussy so good— so good f' me" you clench around his cock and let out a loud moan. the way he was talking so dirty really did something to you.
you were so close to cumming, so close. and as if he knew exactly how you were feeling, sunghoon brought his thumb to your clit and started ramming into you even deeper than before.
"ngh ! hoonie, gonna, fuck— cum, gonna cum !" you bring your hands to his hair and pull him even closer, so that he's almost laying on top of you.
"yeah? gonna cum for me baby? cum on my cock, fuckk"
and that you do.
once your orgasm hits, he thrusts into you even faster— making you see stars.
"shit princess, clenching me so fucking tight, gonna fill you up with my cum, shit—"
he quickly slung your legs over his shoulders as he continued to ram into you and fill your pretty little cunt with his load.
"you okay, pretty?" sunghoon asked, wanting to make sure you were okay.
after all, he did just fuck you like a dog.
"'m okay hoonie" you replied weakly, your throat hurting from all the screaming.
"let's clean you up, yeah?" sunghoon carefully wrapped his arms around your waist and planted a kiss on your cheek.
afterwards, he quickly got up to go to the bathroom to go get a warm towel.
the rest of the night was filled with lots of love— cuddling and many kisses.

please like, reblog, and comment if u enjoyed :3 u can find my other works here !
© mochiwonz ― all rights reserved. do not copy, steal, or translate my work.

#── mochiwonz ୨୧#park sunghoon#sunghoon smut#enhypen#enhypen smut#enhypen x reader#sunghoon x reader#sunghoon#enha x reader#enha#enhypen scenarios#enha smut#sunghoon park#park sunghoon x reader#sunghoon x you#smut#fluff#enha fluff
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— i’m in love with a dying man

rating: mature. or explicit? i’m not sure. angsty study on grief in unconventional forms. (mild) smut purely for poetic reasons
word count: 4,1k
pairing: viktor x gn!reader
cw: terminal illness. several mentions of death. everyone is horny in a heartbroken way, so grab a napkin—but not for the reasons you think. and yes, you may dox me for making you even sadder after whatever happened in ep 6.
—
He licks a tear off your cheek, and it seeps in between the bumps on his tongue, all prickly salt running down your face in two glossy trails of sorrow. Stinging, when his calloused thumb swipes over a puffy eyelid, only to inevitably fall to your lip and tug, nudging your mouth agape. His desperate grip softens when you oblige and arch, letting him grunt over the slope of your throat; wheezier than you remember, raw, rhotic and ravenous. The hard shift of his lungs is palpable under your hand, ruckling heavily in his sternum. It almost breaks down to a cough when he cants his hips into you, slanting one last slow, weak slam. Spilling all his pent-up frustration deep inside you through that bitter orgasm, leaving a clumsy mess of stickiness to dry on your inner thigh. Stilling for you to hold him through that collapse, grateful for the shaky hand that you firmly fist into his hair. Not receding until at least a few kisses are strewn upon your shoulder.
It’s always like this now. Viktor clings to you, and you cling to him, nails digging into handfuls of him hard enough to draw blood, each embrace so tight your ribs might just break if he doesn’t retreat in time. And god does he wish to let it linger, to drag it out until eternity tumbles in—even if his eternity is reduced to a question of mere months at best, even if he must crawl out of a casket to have your touch back.
The night you almost lost him still has you in shambles. You remember it all too well—hell, it’s almost like that acute smell of hospitals and doom still coats his skin, more slimline than it ever was, its once ivory shade fading to chalk-like disaster. The utter horror of crushing verdicts, endless heaps of bloodied handkerchiefs and palms so cold that even the heat of your breath fails to make the feeling of him any less chilling.
The dark humor of sneaky death: she’s right around the corner, the cruelest of all mistresses. Ready to snatch him away whenever your fingers ghost over his spine, stroking a languid count over each prominent vertebrae. And no matter how tight you curl up beside him, she will supplant you, and her proximity can’t be measured in miles, feet, or inches. Because death is a termite—she gnaws at his very heart. And blooms metastases everywhere you still have him. She’s inside him. She’s merged with him into one.
At first, you denied it. Knuckles drummed against the wall in a frustrated fistfight, painting that scabrous canvas bright with your frustration. White and crimson—the speckled pattern of your hysteria. You recall how bad it stung, and how shame creeped up your spine—frightening and so, so sticky. Throttling, when he tended to that self-inflicted disaster, bandaging your smashed hand in motions sick to the core with gentleness.
And it felt so ugly. Like you’ve grown to loathe everything around you: the doctors, for their disgusting prognosis; life itself, for being hardly fair. And even Viktor. Especially him—for slowly slipping out of your pale-knuckled grip. Well, red-knuckled, more like. That angry stunt did cost you a decent injury. White and crimson, remember?
Naturally, grief doesn’t always progress by the book. However, denial always comes first. It’s an axiom, an invariable component, and you’re sitting on Viktor’s hospital cot, hand in trembling hand, eyes snapped wide and ferocious. Wrapped up in fear while the silence rings in your ears.
His doctor addresses the quandary. It doesn’t feel vicious—at least, not yet. Flimsy, more like. Deceptive, too. Like if you just blink it away hard enough everything will snap right in place, and you’ll find yourself at home again—where that aseptic smell of medication can’t reach either of you.
Well, of course, there’s always a possibility of postponing the inevitable. Winning over a year or, even, two—if Viktor’s lucky enough, that is. But you both know that he’s lacking in that department.
And yet, you grab your little hope by the throat: to look into later, when your comprehension is intact again. Surely, it’s just not plausible: so what if Viktor’s cough pulls you out of sleep every night, so what if every shirt he owns has tiny blood stains on it? Yes, he spends more time in bed than he does at the lab. He’s simply tired. He needs the rest. Not in peace.
The retraction doesn’t linger, though. It survives a few more blood tests and a lengthy, dreadful discussion of his calamity—most strikingly frightening when the doctor talks him through each option. And not a single one manages to appease you. To stop your fury from retching out and causing an ugly scene.
So you fling the door to his room ajar and leap inside with a bitter scowl, teeth gritting hard enough to crumble into powder. Arms a tight crisscross over your chest, step wide and listless—punctuated with a muffled clack of heels. Viktor’s eyes follow your tremulous circles—a lazy, sheenless flick of pupils, each widened into a bleak void from the rancid dose of painkillers. He lays supine, with his hair ineptly slicked back, umber waves awry, loose and sweat-damp. He’s almost mellow, tongue barely a glide over his chapped bottom lip—a martyr-like stiffness, the carrion of a man.
But you don’t look at him. You pace, and pace, and pace—in that same tiring route, all around his creaky cot. Viktor rasps something indistinct—a muffled plea that tickles the back of his throat, rupturing yet another coughing fit. You silently hand him the speckled handkerchief.
He looks up, eyes the saddest shade of buckwheat honey—dark with remorse; seeking comfort. But you don’t have any to give. You stare past him, gnawing at your tongue hard enough to draw fleshy copper. Dodging the kiss he tries to press to your wrist—pulling yourself back and out of his loving grip, igniting a staring competition full of glassy eye-daggering. Blink slow and borderline drowsy.
“Milackú,” he pleads. Pulls at the corner of his mouth to wipe the bloody evidence of his withering.
Your tear catches in your bottom lashes.
“Milackú,” he rasps again, kicking the blanket aside. Stepping one bare foot on the cool tiles and reaching for you: arms, legs, and heart—all yours for the taking. If only you consider crawling under his minty sheets again.
You don’t.
“Why?” It’s so meek you barely recognize it as your own. Taut throat tightens even more, and, suddenly, you’re choking on a gasp. “Why did you turn down the treatment?”
“Please, if you could just—“ He husks, but you can’t hear him through the ringing in your ears; the room already smudged into wattery, astigmatic lumps, Viktor’s face but a bunch of fuzzy dots you’re struggling to make out. All missing jigsaws, blurry little fractions.
“What did I ever do to you?” You yell, shielding your eyes. Turning away from the arm he extends, his weak fist clenching to grab thin air, then tumbling as he stares at his palm in sheer dubiety, upper lip trembling.
He winces. Ceases you by the hand and tugs as hard as it gets—frail enough for you to easily nudge him away—but you don’t bother this time. Your knees ungainly bend into shaky arcs, drifting apart when he clasps around you and pulls until you finally land on the sheets next to him, your tears mingling with his cold sweat—a salty fusion of mutual suffering.
Then comes a sequence of guttural, squealing whines and you stay twined with him for a while. Lithe fingers run through your hair, spreading to untangle an occasional knotted strand—up, and down, and over your shoulder in a caress. His lips purse on your temple, sucking an indistinct kiss. His heartbeat trails off under your fingertips the second you rake them over his thin hospital gown, growing frenetic again when you tug at the fabric, demanding closure.
“Please. Please don’t do this to me.” You exhale your choked up entreaty into his neck and it pours over his skin in a rigid breath, aftertasting of stinging desperation. His hand seeks your face, taking a forcefully gentle hold of one puffy cheek, drinking in your unsightly, woebegone rebuke. Looking at you like a repentant devotee, his timid eyes meeting your fierce ones.
“This is not about you,” he wheezes, too stern for your liking. Presses his forehead against yours and holds you through yet another shudder—and there’s no avoiding his pleading stare. “I’m not trying to get away from you. I merely want to escape my conundrum.”
“These aren’t mutually exclusive, Viktor,” you hiss, voice simmering with betrayal.
“Unfortunately.”
“Unfortunately?! Is that all you have for me right now?”
“I���m afraid so.”
He sighs like he means it. His words keep slipping away from him, drowned in coughs and ambiguous humms. You get it, though. Your semantics became sparse the minute Viktor almost died in your arms.
You melt into one-another in a teary, sniffling twine—simply breathing, trading tense silences. His stately stance collapses into a lifeless hunch, straightening a bit only when your fingers billow over his shoulder-blades—chiseled like ones of a famished dog. There are plenty of dog-like things about him now—the pleas lodged in his glances, the newfound hunger for your touch. Especially for the way you’re holding him; every embrace like a loving headlock—and the pressure soothes him.
“I’m tired of taking risks,” he finally whispers against your temple. “All these… labored efforts for mere fractions of peace. Decaying steadily. Constantly hurting. I’m spent.”
“Exactly. Which is why you need the treatment.”
His lashes shudder against your cheek in a prickly tickle. They keep fluttering when he recedes, shaking his head with a bitter frown.
“But its success is… highly improbable.”
“Yes, but there’s still hope—“
“It’s running thin as we speak. I shouldn’t squander it on… the imminent.”
Viktor’s irksome choice of words had you springing backwards in glossy-eyed delirium. Staring in disbelief as if he’d requested something inexorable: which he did, inherently so.
He curses when tears slice your face again—tends to them with the softness of a man most contrite of his omission, shaky hands already catching holds of your waist, using your temporary pliancy to swiftly nudge you into his cot. Curling up close enough to have your weeps reverberate in his sternum.
“I’m sorry,” he repents with a deep rasp. “Please, don’t cry.”
He held you in reticence again: this time horizontally. Offered you every solace his body could provide: your fingers in his hair, fumbling mindlessly (he put them there himself). Tangled legs. Apologetic neck-kisses. His head heavy on your shoulder, its weight a welcome tranquility. And only when your last tear soaks his pillow does he commence with his explanation.
“I don’t want to spend what little time I have left miserable,” he tells you, drawing a breath. “Yes, the treatment might win me a year—a year I would spend bedridden, nauseous, and weary. A travesty of life. An illusive salvation. I’ve had enough of those.”
Your hand stills in his hair, nestled within unkempt strands. You’ve run out of tears, so this bitter truth is met with nothing but a piteous sigh—the only thing you can still master after crying your heart out into his skin. Now you can only stare at the ceiling, chewing on your cheek in cruel denial.
He’s right. He always is.
Viktor sees the shift in your face—knits his eyebrows together in tender pity, tucking himself firmly against your face. Wincing, when he feels the aching tension in your temple.
“I know I’m asking a lot of you. Too much, even.” He’s sincere when he says that, and you can sense the gratitude in his voice—for even allowing him to utter this excruciating of a thing, for attempting to understand.
You simply nod. Yes. It is a lot. But you want to hear everything he has to say.
So Viktor continues.
“I would hate for your last memories of me to be tainted with despair and hospitals only for all the struggle to go to waste when I inevitably pass away. I have no desire to postpone this torture at the expense of growing indifferent towards everything that makes me feel alive.”
“But what if we manage to cure you?!”
“That’s too much of a ‘what if’ to risk dying a grim death for. I want to die…content. I want to enjoy myself before I do. Please. Don’t take that choice away from me.”
His eyes brim at you with every ounce of guilt he possesses, big tears wallowing in his eyes like an earnest plea—tacit, weary, earnest. Yes, it’s not like you have a word in his terrific decision, but Viktor wants your blessing. It’s only right that he includes you. Even if he’s intending to refuse the treatment regardless. As absurd a bid as that is.
You clasp his face like it’s about to vanish. Like you won’t be able to make it out when he’s gone if you fail to remember it right this instant, your gaze frantically jumping from one feature to another, seeking to embroider the image into your very eyeballs. Roaming over the artifically-white hospital light hallowing every streak of his hair. Indulging in a bittersweet smile when you note how prettily it spills over the pillow. Lingering on the patterns in his ochre irises—almost fully swallowed by his void-like pupils. Observing how they match the insomniac, mauve shades under his bottom lashes. Tracing every convex little thing—two lovely moles, thick eyebrows, the pointy mouth. Everything you’ve grown to love so dearly. Everything his illness keeps taking away from you.
You wince, cradling his cheeks, your thumbs dipping into the hollows of them gently. Urging him to scoot closer—eye to eye, lips on lips. Breath over shuddering breath.
“Are you sure?” You mouth the question on his skin, barely even uttering it. Hot pressure meanders into your head like a prickly impulse. It’s timid like motion sickness—borderline nauseating, too—all murky splashes of trippy lights under your closed eyelids. And the unease is diluted only when he finally kisses you—an approbatory, guilt-ridden thing.
He’s certain. And for that, he’s so, so sorry.
You try not to think of it, focusing on the feeling. No tongue, no teeth: just sheer tremor and so much rawness. A soft, soothing exhalation straight into your mouth like the gentlest of placebos—and yet, it works for you, slaps your pulse out of its frantic antics, and the stiffness slowly leaves your limbs under his touch.
When it’s over, he winces at you in that sleepy, adoring way of his. Attempts a wry, sad smile. The cold light besieges his head into an even clearer halo—a foreshadowing of what is to come, an inconspicuous little thing. But everything about him is conspicuous to you. Loving Viktor has made you wary, and you wanted to hold onto that attention to the detail before it eventually slips away alongside him.
“Are you sure?” You repeat, tightening the inadvertent chokehold around his neck. The grip weakens only when he pulls away to clumsily clear his throat.
“Yes.” And you know he means it when his face turns just as solemn as when he confesses his love to you.
“I’ve had a nice life with you,” he adds, hoarsely. “I want it to feel nice when my time comes, too—whenever that might be. Sooner than later, I presume.”
The figurative knife in your stomach twists anticlockwise.
“Will you stay with me?” He dares to inquire. Meek, shaky hope tingling in his throat. “For however many months I have left?”
And when you look up at him with a hurt frown, he’s reminded not to ask you rhetorical questions.
—
A few days later, Viktor is discharged from the hospital and insists that you both go back to normal. Well, to the new, tainted definition of it—where one spoiled napkin less is considered an ephemeral improvement and grief is a fixed variable by your side.
Your slow-paced, quiet life that keeps turning even more timid in a frail attempt to savor what’s left of it. Faux preservation, but he allows it—savors it just as earnestly as you do, and your weeks weave into a darling, familiar routine. With some minor, necessary changes, no less: rest comes before the lab now, all deadlines fashionably late to accommodate this newfound tempo. Mandatory hourly breaks. Weekly check-ups. Four days off for every three he spends bent over the parchment. But this time, he doesn’t protest. His body demands it, inconveniently so.
You don’t tell anyone about your horrific arrangement—not yet, at the very least. It’s all you can think about, and the words threaten to slide out every time you speak—but you’re forced to swallow them with a smile so lopsided that everyone around you can only suspect the worst. A mantra of countless ‘What’s wrong’s irritating your ears with pure sincerity.
What is wrong with you, indeed? You’re a spectator to death—not just any death, but the one you dreaded most. And not only are you witnessing it in the making, but this decision was never forced—you handed Viktor the choice and accepted whatever he went with so obediently that it felt absurd, and it had your skin crawling every time someone vaguely mentioned anything even remotely related to his condition.
But they—whoever that refers to—could never get it. They wouldn’t know what it’s like: to be stripped of your selfishness for the sake of Viktor’s peace. Defying your needs. Forcing yourself to find relief in demise. You might’ve failed to intimidate her into allowing you to keep him, but you could still accompany him into her arms and make it glorious. Here it is. Your new, appalling reason. It’s all that you want now.
Or is it?
There’s plenty of nobility in being his chaperone—welcoming him into bed every night, painfully aware that it can become his death one. Treating every new invention of his like a soon-to-be postmortem legacy. Mourning the living. Anticipating the inexplicable. Marking every shared kiss the last, just in case.
But then it came—unabashed and sudden. That blurry line where mourning merges into something dubious, a confusing paradox that leaves you full of filthy carry-over somewhere within your gut. The scorch his lips engrave into the column of your neck. The way it ignites a swell you can almost convince yourself is actually tangible, running your fingers over it recursively like a tactile little prayer. The gaze he throws at you across the lab ever so sneakily—a figurative punch that feels surprisingly close to a kiss. And you never resist turning it into one. Escalating. Claiming. Indulging those ambiguous, yet-to-be-defined things and having them wash over the remnants of your decorum.
You try to fight it when it first happens, but it doesn’t last. There’s no place for restraint in grief—not when it turns into a beautiful desire to be all over him, to take everything life has to offer before he runs out of it. And Viktor doesn’t judge you. He encourages it. He craves it, just as bad—if not more—than you do. How many more undoings can he claim before the final one absorbs him? You’ve already lost that count. So much for having your love bleed on every inch of his skin.
Tonight you let it bleed mouth to mouth—a sweaty, heartfelt thing that commemorates your hunger for him in a kiss so dizzying that he has to lean back with a silent, breathless plea for brief interlude—foggy eyes staring up at you so devotedly. Shuddering, when your arms wander over his chest to feel the rasp, pointed lips bruised full of spit-slick swell. He’s a beauty—exquisite, albeit worn-down, his lines and angles blurring together into one eager, contourless essence, and you cage him in a firm straddle—your bare thighs over his clothed ones—grinding in a whiny attempt to reach him through his pants.
“I’m sorry,” you mumble, leaning back to let him breathe. He’s sprawled out beneath you, tortuous hands already busy with tugging his tie off—impatient, clumsily nervous. “I don’t know what’s gotten into me,” you say at last, averting your gaze almost shyly. His fingers lurch to your hip, locking it in a gentle cradle, stilling above your backside in hesitation—asking for a laze caress, pushing your flimsy limits. As if forgetting that you never set those for him. Or, perhaps, he simply likes hearing your excited ‘yes’ every time. You can’t quite figure out which it is.
He grabs a handful of you with reverence, and yet there’s something resilient about that grip—like he dreads that you might slip through his fingers if he doesn’t hold on possessively enough, staring up at you with his head thrown back in a curious, admiring droop. Aiming to dispose of your shirt in a nimble pull. Plotting a sequence of kisses from neck to collarbone.
You expect it when he rises on his elbows, then grips the bedframe to shift beneath you in a silly leap. Inelegant, but he couldn’t care less, releasing his hips from the hedge of your legs to make you slide up his crotch instead—a most welcome, brusque change that you adapt to in a squealing instant. Your moaning mouth agape under his grin. His hips thrusting through restraining fabric. Shaky. Erotic. With your arms tumbling astride his shoulders.
“Don’t apologize,” Viktor insists in a lulling whisper, switching to a cautionary nip on your ear. “I’ve missed you, too,” he confesses somewhere into your hair, brushing through it with a tip of his nose—breathing you in through a tender whiff.
Your words get lost in a deep fluster, rolling back into your throat and lingering there in a suffocating lump. They have you stiffening, heavy eyelids squeezing shut—a voluntarily blindfold to help you explore him through touch only. An invitation to feel you where he pleases. And, well—it just so happens that your whims align with his—a cohesive, welcome collateral.
Viktor starts at the slope of your shoulder. Pulls the shirt down and traces that lovely curve—fingers first. Throws a brief, askance glance at your face to make sure that your eyes are closed, and, when met with the flutter of your lashes, gets back to his lovely tease. Tender, warm lips taste your skin with delicious, savoring sounds. Getting wetter when his tongue makes a fickle appearance—leaves a slick, capricious lick in the dip of your collarbone, fluffy hair tickling your face when he bends to tend to your chest, too—and you shiver as he sucks a plum love-stain that you’ll proudly wear under your shirts.
��See,” he cooes. “Whatever gets into you must be contagious.”
You give in to a half-lidded peek and find him begging for your assistance—a sweet request that you understand in half-nod. Arms up in the air and over your clouded head when he unleashes your skin from the thin garment—throws it on the floor for you to find later in the morning.
“But it feels wrong.” You sigh. “Ever since we found out…”
“I’d rather you quit talking about that in bed, please,” Viktor reproaches, eyes heady with want. His fingers slide into your underwear, contemplating its fate—should he make it join your shirt or pull it to the side in hasty fashion? Either approach had him shivering at the thought.
But the sudden sorrow stops the rush, rendering your urge for consolation. It wraps you around him all over again, legs locking in a tangle around his waist, drooping hands combing through his hair in a brusque, fervent tug. Seeking succor. Heart to heart and thumping an anxious march.
“I’m afraid,” you admit, but it’s not a revelation. All shuddering shoulders under his idolatrous caress, and you pang with guilt at that, too—it’s you who should be fondling him this delicately, warm reassurance seeping into his ears—not yours. But Viktor wants to be your comfort. If anything, it’s the only thing on his mind.
“What are you afraid of, beloved?” A little shiver at the unforeign endearment—a rare occasion. His thick brows still drawn together in a concerned arc. They relax only when you rake your fingers down his body—counting ribs, toying anxiously. The hurry is gone, there’s only caution now: his enamored eyes, waiting for you to find your slippery words.
“Of losing you before I get to show you how much I love you.” You whisper, suddenly tasting teary salt in your mouth. His thumb comes to the rescue, swiftly flicking the wet trails. So you chuckle at the affection in a silly stagger to bump sweaty foreheads together.
“Nonsense,” he insists. “You’re showing me right now.”
“Indeed.” You shrug. “But… Is this the right way?”
And when he puts your palm over his eager heartbeat, you’re reminded not to ask him rhetorical questions.
—
tags: @zaunitearchives @blissfulip @nausicaaandhermouth @thehistoriangirl @vyshnevska
#viktor arcane#viktor fanfic#arcane season 2#viktor x reader#arcane season two spoilers#viktor angst#viktor smut#viktor x reader smut#viktor x gn!reader#viktor x f!reader#viktor x m!reader#viktor x any reader really#not specified AT ALL#wrote this in severe writers block so please be nice to me#im serious ill cry#arcane fanfic#arcane angst#viktor arcane angst
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Find Me Again
Lando Norris x Reader
Summary: in which two soulmates are destined to always find each other only to be torn apart lifetime after lifetime after lifetime … until finally, they’re not (aka the reincarnation AU)
Alexandria, 30 BC
The scorching Egyptian sun beats down on Alexandria as you hurry through the bustling streets, your sandals slapping against the warm stone. The air is thick with tension — whispers of Octavian’s approaching army have the city on edge. But your mind is elsewhere, focused on the stolen moments you’ll soon share with Lando.
You slip into a secluded alleyway, heart racing as you spot his familiar silhouette. Lando’s face lights up when he sees you, though worry creases his brow.
“There you are,” he murmurs, pulling you close. “I was beginning to think you wouldn’t come.”
You melt into his embrace, savoring his warmth. “I’m sorry I’m late. The palace has been in chaos with all the rumors flying about.”
Lando’s arms tighten around you. “It’s true then? Octavian draws near?”
You nod against his chest. “I fear so. Cleopatra grows more desperate by the day.”
He pulls back, cupping your face in his calloused hands. His dark eyes search yours intently. “Come away with me,” he pleads. “We can leave the city tonight, find passage on a ship bound for Greece or Cyprus.”
Your heart aches at the longing in his voice. “Lando, you know I can’t abandon my duty to the queen. She needs me now more than ever.”
“And what of my need for you?” Lando’s voice cracks with emotion. “Each day I’m torn between my loyalty to Rome and my love for you. I cannot bear the thought of you in danger when Octavian’s forces arrive.”
You reach up to caress his cheek, feeling the stubble beneath your fingers. “My brave soldier,” you murmur. “Always trying to protect me. But I’ve survived far worse than regime changes. We’ll find a way through this, as we always do.”
Lando leans into your touch, his eyes fluttering closed. “I wish I had your optimism. Every time I close my eyes, I see visions of you lying lifeless amidst the chaos of battle.”
A chill runs down your spine despite the oppressive heat. “Don’t speak of such things,” you chide gently. “We make our own fate, remember?”
He sighs, pressing his forehead to yours. “I know. I just ... I can’t shake this feeling of impending doom. Promise me you’ll be careful, my love. Promise you’ll do whatever it takes to stay safe.”
“I promise,” you whisper, sealing the vow with a tender kiss.
Lando responds eagerly, drawing you closer as the kiss deepens. For a blissful moment, the world fades away and there is only the two of you, lost in each other’s embrace.
A distant shout breaks the spell. You reluctantly pull away, both breathing heavily.
“I should go,” you murmur regretfully. “Cleopatra will be wondering where I’ve disappeared to.”
Lando nods, though he doesn’t release you from his arms. “When can I see you again?”
You bite your lip, considering. “Three days from now, at sunset. Meet me by the lighthouse?”
“I’ll be there,” he vows solemnly. “Be safe, my love.”
With a final lingering kiss, you slip from his embrace and hurry back towards the palace. Your heart feels lighter despite the looming threats, buoyed by Lando’s love and the promise of your next rendezvous.
But fate, it seems, has other plans.
The next few days pass in a blur of mounting tension. Cleopatra grows increasingly erratic, oscillating between grandiose plans to seduce Octavian and talks of ending her own life. You do your best to comfort and counsel her, all while stealing moments to daydream about your upcoming meeting with Lando.
On the fated evening, you’re helping Cleopatra prepare for bed when she suddenly fixates on a basket of figs brought by a servant.
“Ah, how fitting,” she muses, a strange glint in her eye. “Did you know, my dear, that the Egyptians that came before us believed figs to be the fruit of the afterlife?”
A chill runs down your spine. “My queen?”
Cleopatra waves a hand dismissively. “Oh, don’t look so worried. I was simply contemplating the cyclical nature of life and death. Come, help me into bed.”
You obey, tucking the sheets around her with practiced ease. As you turn to leave, her hand darts out to grasp your wrist.
“Stay with me a while longer,” she implores. “I find I cannot bear to be alone with my thoughts tonight.”
Your heart sinks, knowing you’ll miss your rendezvous with Lando. But duty wins out over desire. “Of course, my queen. I’ll stay as long as you need me.”
Hours pass as you sit by Cleopatra’s bedside, listening to her reminisce about better days. Just as your eyelids begin to grow heavy, a commotion in the hall startles you both fully awake.
“What’s happening?” Cleopatra demands, sitting up.
Before you can answer, the doors burst open and a breathless messenger stumbles in. “My queen,” he pants, “Octavian’s army has breached the city walls!”
Cleopatra’s face hardens. “So, the end has come at last.” She turns to you, her gaze intense. “Fetch me the asp.”
Your blood runs cold. “My queen, surely there must be another way-”
“Do not argue with me!” She snaps. “I will not be paraded through Rome as Octavian’s prize. Now go, quickly!”
With a heavy heart, you hurry to retrieve the venomous snake from its hidden chamber. Your hands shake as you return, presenting the basket to Cleopatra.
She reaches for it eagerly, but pauses. Her eyes meet yours, softening slightly. “My faithful friend,” she murmurs. “You have served me well. I release you from your duties. Go, find that Roman boy of yours and flee while you still can.”
Your eyes widen in shock. “You knew?”
Cleopatra’s lips quirk in a sad smile. “I’ve always known. Now go, before it’s too late.”
Torn between duty and desire, you hesitate. In that moment of indecision, everything changes.
Cleopatra reaches for the asp, but in her haste, she knocks the basket from your hands. The snake falls to the floor, immediately striking at the nearest target … you.
Pain explodes in your ankle as the asp’s fangs sink into your flesh. You cry out, stumbling backwards.
“No!” Cleopatra wails, lunging to catch you as you fall.
The world begins to spin as the venom courses through your veins. Your last coherent thought is of Lando, waiting faithfully by the lighthouse. As darkness closes in, you pray he’ll forgive you for breaking your promise.
Hours later, Lando fights his way through the chaos of the conquered city. He charges into the palace, heedless of the danger, desperate to find you.
When he bursts into Cleopatra’s chambers, his worst fears are realized. Two bodies lie motionless on the floor — the queen and beside her ...
“No,” he chokes out, falling to his knees beside your lifeless form. “No, no, no. This can’t be happening.”
Lando gathers you into his arms, cradling you against his chest as sobs wrack his body. “You promised,” he whispers brokenly. “You promised you’d stay safe.”
But promises, like empires, are so easily broken. As the sun rises on a new era for Egypt, it sets on this chapter of your shared story. Yet even as this life ends, the seeds of the next are already taking root, waiting to bloom in another time, another place.
For true love, like the mighty Nile, cannot be contained. It flows ever onward, carving new paths through the landscape of eternity.
Pompeii, 79 AD
The ground trembles beneath your feet as you race through the chaotic streets of Pompeii. Ash rains from the sky, coating everything in a ghostly gray shroud. All around, people scream and push, desperately seeking escape from the fury of Mount Vesuvius.
“Lando!” You call out, your voice hoarse from the acrid air. “Lando, where are you?”
A hand suddenly grabs your arm, yanking you into a narrow alleyway. You whirl around, ready to fight, only to find yourself face to face with Lando. His usually immaculate toga is torn and stained with soot, his dark curls matted with ash.
“Thank the gods,” he breathes, pulling you into a fierce embrace. “I thought I’d lost you in the crowd.”
You cling to him tightly, savoring his familiar warmth amidst the chaos. “We need to get out of the city,” you say urgently. “The mountain — it’s like nothing I’ve ever seen before.”
Lando nods grimly. “I know. I’ve been trying to make it to the harbor, but the roads are completely blocked. It’s madness out there.”
Another tremor rocks the ground, stronger than before. Pieces of masonry rain down from the surrounding buildings. Lando shields you with his body as you both press against the alley wall.
“We can’t stay here,” you say once the shaking subsides. “It’s not safe.”
“Nowhere is safe,” Lando replies, his eyes haunted. “But you’re right, we need to keep moving. Come on, I know another way to the docks.”
Hand-in-hand, you dash back out into the crowded street. The air grows thicker with each passing moment, making it harder to breathe. You pull the edge of your stola over your mouth and nose, squinting through the haze.
Lando leads you through a maze of side streets and back alleys, avoiding the worst of the panicked crowds. But with each turn, your hope dwindles. The mountain’s fury seems to be growing by the minute, raining down fire and ash with terrifying intensity.
As you round another corner, you come face to face with a wall of rubble blocking the entire street. Lando curses under his breath, pounding his fist against a fallen column.
“It’s no use,” he says, defeat creeping into his voice. “Every path to the harbor is cut off. We’re trapped.”
You squeeze his hand reassuringly. “Then we’ll find somewhere to wait it out. The gods won’t abandon us. We just have to have faith.”
He turns to you, a sad smile playing on his lips. “Always the optimist, aren’t you? Even in the face of certain doom.”
“One of us has to be,” you reply, managing a weak smile of your own.
Another violent tremor shakes the ground, nearly knocking you both off your feet. In the distance, you hear the ominous rumble of collapsing buildings.
“Quick, in here!” Lando shouts, pulling you towards a sturdy-looking stone building. You duck inside just as a fresh barrage of burning rocks pelts the street where you were standing moments ago.
As your eyes adjust to the dimness, you realize you’re in some kind of workshop. Half-finished statues and blocks of marble are scattered about, coated in a fine layer of ash that has sifted through the cracks.
“A sculptor’s studio,” Lando muses, running his hand along a nearby bust. “Rather fitting, don’t you think? To spend our last moments surrounded by art meant to outlast us all.”
You shoot him a reproachful look. “Don’t talk like that. This isn’t the end. We’ll get through this, just like we always do.”
He sighs, pulling you close. “I admire your spirit, my love. But I fear this time, the Fates have other plans for us.”
As if to punctuate his words, the ground gives another violent lurch. The air grows even thicker, filled with choking dust and sulfurous fumes.
“It’s getting harder to breathe,” you gasp, fighting back a coughing fit.
Lando guides you to a relatively clear corner of the room, helping you sit on the floor before settling beside you. He wraps his arm around your shoulders, drawing you against his side.
“Just try to take shallow breaths,” he instructs, his own voice strained. “Like this, see?”
You nod, focusing on matching your breathing to his. For a moment, there’s nothing but the sound of your labored breaths and the distant rumble of the mountain.
“Lando?” You whisper after a while.
“Hmm?”
“I’m scared.”
He tightens his hold on you, pressing a kiss to your temple. “I know, love. I am too.”
“Tell me a story?” You ask, your voice small. “Like you used to, when we first met. Remember?”
Lando chuckles softly. “How could I forget? You were the most stubborn student I’ve ever had the misfortune of tutoring.”
“Hey!” You protest weakly, managing a smile despite everything. “I wasn’t that bad.”
“Oh no?” He teases. “Who was it that insisted the Odyssey would be vastly improved if Odysseus had simply asked for directions?”
You laugh, the sound quickly dissolving into a cough. “Well, it’s true! Twenty years to get home? Penelope should have moved on.”
Lando shakes his head in mock dismay. “Such disrespect for the classics. I clearly failed as your tutor.”
“Never,” you murmur, snuggling closer to him. “You taught me far more important things than dusty old stories.”
“Oh? And what might those be?”
You tilt your head up to meet his gaze. “You taught me what it means to truly love someone. To find a home not in a place, but in a person.”
Lando’s eyes shine with unshed tears as he leans down to kiss you softly. “And you, my darling, taught me that life is meant to be lived, not just studied. You brought color to my world of scrolls and stone.”
Another tremor shakes the building, sending a fresh wave of dust raining down on you both. The air grows thicker, each breath a struggle.
“Lando,” you wheeze, gripping his hand tightly. “I don’t want to die.”
He pulls you onto his lap, cradling you against his chest. “Shh, it’s alright. I’m here. I’ve got you.”
“Promise you won’t leave me?” You plead, your vision starting to blur.
“Never,” he vows fiercely. “Not in this life or any other. Wherever our souls go next, we go together. I promise.”
You manage a weak nod, focusing on the steady beat of his heart against your cheek. As consciousness begins to slip away, you’re struck by a strange sense of déjà vu.
“Lando?” You murmur, your voice barely audible.
“Yes, love?”
“I think ... I think we’ve done this before.”
He lets out a shaky laugh. “What, died in each other’s arms while a volcano erupts? I think I’d remember that.”
You shake your head slightly. “No, not exactly. But this feeling ... like we’ve known each other forever. Like we’ll find each other again, no matter what.”
Lando is quiet for a long moment. When he speaks, his voice is thick with emotion. “Maybe we have. Maybe we will. I’d like to think so.”
“Me too,” you whisper.
As the world crumbles around you, you cling to each other. Your last thoughts are not of fear or regret, but of the love you share. A love so powerful it transcends time itself.
And as this chapter closes, another waits to begin. For some bonds are too strong to be broken, even by death. Your souls are destined to find each other again and again, weaving an eternal tapestry of love across the ages.
Salem, 1692
The air in the Salem courthouse is thick with tension and the bitter scent of fear. You stand before the assembled judges, your wrists bound tightly with rough rope that chafes your skin. The crowd of onlookers murmurs and shifts restlessly, their faces a sea of suspicion and barely concealed hostility.
Lando sits among them, his face a mask of anguish as he watches the proceedings. He wants nothing more than to rush to your side, to shield you from the madness that has gripped the town. But he knows that any show of support would only damn you further in the eyes of the court.
Judge Hathorne’s voice rings out, silencing the whispers. “The accused will step forward.”
You take a shaky step, raising your chin defiantly despite the terror coursing through your veins.
“You stand accused of witchcraft and consorting with the devil,” Hathorne intones gravely. “How do you plead?”
“Not guilty,” you declare, your voice stronger than you feel. “I am no witch, merely a midwife and herbalist. I have done nothing but help this community.”
A snort of derision comes from the crowd. You turn to see Goodwife Putnam, her face twisted with malice. “Lies!” She shrieks. “I saw her dancing naked in the woods, consorting with dark spirits!”
“That’s not true!” You protest. “I was gathering herbs for my remedies, nothing more!”
Judge Hathorne raises an eyebrow. “And can anyone vouch for your whereabouts on the night in question?”
Your heart sinks. You had been alone that night, as you often were when foraging. “I ... I was alone, your honor. But I swear on all that is holy, I am no witch.”
A ripple of whispers sweeps through the crowd. Lando’s fists clench at his sides, his jaw tight with the effort of remaining silent.
“Very convenient,” Hathorne remarks dryly. “Goody Putnam, you may continue with your testimony.”
The woman stands, her eyes gleaming with a fervor that chills you to the bone. “I’ve seen her speaking to animals as if they could understand her. And just last week, my cow’s milk turned sour the very day after she visited our farm!”
“That’s ridiculous!” You exclaim. “Milk spoils, it’s a natural occurrence. And I often speak to animals, as do many others. It does not make me a witch!”
But your protests fall on deaf ears. One by one, your neighbors step forward with increasingly outlandish accusations. Every misfortune, every unexplained event is laid at your feet.
“She cursed my crops!”
“My child fell ill after eating her bread!”
“I saw her flying on a broomstick!”
The claims grow more absurd, but the judges nod solemnly at each one. You feel the noose of suspicion tightening around your neck with each passing moment.
Finally, unable to bear it any longer, Lando leaps to his feet. “This is madness!” He shouts. “You’re condemning an innocent woman based on nothing but gossip and superstition!”
All eyes turn to him. Judge Danforth fixes him with a steely glare. “Master Norris, you will remain silent or be removed from this courtroom.”
“I will not be silent while you murder an innocent woman!” Lando retorts. He turns to the crowd, imploring them. “Can’t you see what’s happening? We’re tearing our community apart with these baseless accusations!”
A murmur of uncertainty ripples through the onlookers. For a moment, you dare to hope that reason might prevail.
But then Abigail Williams, one of the young girls at the center of the witch hunt, lets out a blood-curdling shriek. She points a trembling finger at you. “Her specter! I see her specter tormenting me even now!”
The other girls quickly join in, writhing and screaming as if in the throes of possession. The courtroom erupts into chaos.
“Order!” Judge Hathorne bellows, pounding his gavel. “Order in the court!”
As the commotion dies down, he turns to you, his expression grave. “The evidence against you is overwhelming. Unless you confess and repent, I have no choice but to find you guilty of witchcraft.”
Your heart pounds in your chest. You know that a confession might spare your life, but it would mean living a lie. And worse, it would lend credence to the madness gripping Salem.
“I will not confess to crimes I did not commit,” you say quietly but firmly. “I am innocent before God and man.”
Judge Hathorne’s face hardens. “Then you leave us no choice. You are hereby sentenced to death by hanging. May God have mercy on your soul.”
The crowd erupts into a mix of cheers and shocked gasps. Lando’s anguished cry rises above the din. “No! You can’t do this!”
He rushes towards you, but is quickly restrained by two burly constables. “Let me go!” He shouts, struggling against their grip. “She’s innocent!”
Your eyes meet his across the chaotic courtroom. Despite everything, you manage a small, sad smile. “It’s alright, Lando,” you call out. “Be strong. This isn’t your fault.”
As the guards move to lead you away, Lando breaks free and rushes to your side. He cups your face in his hands, his eyes wild with desperation. “I’ll find a way to stop this,” he vows. “I won’t let them take you.”
You lean into his touch, memorizing the feel of his hands on your skin. “There’s nothing you can do, my love. Promise me you’ll stay safe. Don’t let them take you too.”
“I can’t lose you,” he chokes out, tears streaming down his face.
“You won’t,” you whisper fiercely. “Not really. I don’t know how I know this, but I swear we’ll find each other again. In another life, another time. This isn’t the end for us.”
The guards roughly pull you apart. As they drag you away, you keep your eyes locked on Lando’s, drawing strength from his gaze.
The next few days pass in a blur of fear and desperate prayer. You cling to the strange certainty that had come over you in the courtroom — that somehow, someway, this is not truly the end for you and Lando.
On the day of your execution, you walk to the gallows with your head held high. The crowd that has gathered is subdued, some already beginning to question the justice of what’s happening.
You scan the faces, searching for Lando, but he’s nowhere to be seen. Your heart aches at his absence, but you understand. It would be too painful for him to watch.
As the noose is placed around your neck, you close your eyes and think of Lando. Of his laugh, his gentle touch, the way his eyes crinkle when he smiles. You hold onto these memories as the world falls away beneath your feet.
Your last conscious thought is a promise — to find him again, no matter how long it takes.
Miles away, hidden in the woods, Lando feels the exact moment you leave this world. He collapses to his knees, a wordless cry of anguish tearing from his throat. But even in his grief, he feels the echo of your final promise.
“I’ll find you,” he whispers to the uncaring forest. “In this life or the next. We’ll be together again. I swear it.”
And so another chapter closes, the threads of your shared destiny stretching onward through time. The cycle continues, each life bringing you closer to the moment when you’ll finally break free of this endless dance of death and rebirth.
Yekaterinburg, 1918
The Ipatiev House looms dark and foreboding in the Yekaterinburg night. You pace the confines of your makeshift prison, the once-opulent rooms now a stark reminder of how far the mighty Romanovs have fallen. The sound of raised voices and heavy footsteps from the floor below sends a chill down your spine.
“They’re coming,” your sister Maria whispers, her eyes wide with fear.
Before you can respond, the door bursts open. A group of armed men file in, their faces grim and purposeful. Your heart nearly stops when you spot a familiar face among them.
“Lando?” You gasp, scarcely able to believe your eyes.
He meets your gaze, his expression a turbulent mix of emotions. “Grand Duchess,” he says stiffly, the formal title at odds with the intimate moments you’ve shared in secret.
“What’s happening?” You demand, struggling to keep your voice steady. “Why are you here?”
Yakov Yurovsky, the commandant of the house, steps forward. “The Ural Soviet has decided to execute the Romanov family,” he announces coldly. “You are to be moved to the basement immediately.”
A wave of terror washes over you. “No,” you breathe. “No, this can’t be happening.”
Your eyes lock with Lando’s, silently pleading. For a moment, you see the conflict raging behind his eyes. But then his expression hardens, and he looks away.
As the guards begin herding your family towards the stairs, you manage to maneuver closer to Lando. “How could you be part of this?” You hiss under your breath.
His jaw clenches. “The revolution demands sacrifices,” he mutters. “Even from those we ... care about.”
“Care about?” You repeat incredulously. “Is that all I am to you now? After everything we’ve shared?”
A flicker of pain crosses his face. “You know it’s more complicated than that. Your family’s rule has caused immeasurable suffering. This ... this is justice.”
“Murder is not justice,” you retort, your voice trembling with a mix of fear and anger.
Before he can respond, you’re roughly pushed forward. The journey to the basement is a blur of terror and disbelief. Your mind races, desperately seeking a way out of this nightmare.
In the dank cellar, Yurovsky instructs your family to line up against the wall. You find yourself between your younger siblings, instinctively trying to shield them even as your own knees threaten to give out.
“Wait,” you cry out as Yurovsky raises his hand to signal the firing squad. “Please, spare the children at least. They’re innocent in all this!”
Yurovsky’s face remains impassive. “There can be no Romanov heirs left to rally around. The old regime must end here and now.”
You turn to Lando, making one last desperate appeal. “Lando, please. If what we had meant anything to you, don’t let this happen. Help us!”
For a moment, you see the Lando you knew — the passionate young man who spoke of creating a better world, who held you under the stars and whispered promises of a future together. But then the revolutionary mask slips back into place.
“I’m sorry,” he says, his voice barely audible. “But this is bigger than us.”
As the soldiers raise their weapons, time seems to slow. You think of all the lives you might have lived — the futures now forever lost to you. A strange sense of déjà vu washes over you, as if you’ve faced death with Lando before.
“Ready!” Yurovsky’s voice cuts through your reverie.
You straighten your spine, determined to face your end with dignity. Your eyes find Lando’s one last time.
“Aim!”
“I forgive you,” you mouth silently, even as tears stream down your face.
You see Lando’s composure crack, anguish flooding his features. He takes a half-step forward, as if to intervene, but it’s too late.
“Fire!”
The basement erupts in a deafening cacophony of gunshots and screams. You feel a searing pain in your chest as bullets tear through you. As you crumple to the ground, your fading vision fixates on Lando’s horrified face.
With your last breath, you whisper, “Find me again.”
Then darkness claims you.
Lando stands frozen, unable to tear his eyes away from your lifeless form. The smokey smell of gunpowder mixes with the metallic scent of blood, turning his stomach.
“Finish them off,” Yurovsky orders dispassionately. “No survivors.”
As his comrades move forward with bayonets, Lando stumbles back, retching. He staggers up the stairs and out into the cool night air, gulping it down desperately.
What has he done?
He’d believed so fervently in the revolution, in the need to sweep away the old order to build a better world. But staring at his blood-stained hands, Lando feels nothing but horror and soul-crushing guilt.
Your final words haunt him. “Find me again.” But how can he, when he’s destroyed any chance of a future together?
As dawn breaks over Yekaterinburg, Lando makes a decision. He can’t undo what’s been done, but he can ensure the truth isn’t buried along with your body.
Over the coming weeks, as the Bolsheviks spread lies about your family’s fate, Lando works in secret to document what really happened. He gathers evidence, writes detailed accounts, and arranges for the information to be smuggled out of the country.
It’s a dangerous game. If caught, he’ll be branded a traitor to the revolution. But Lando no longer cares about ideology or politics. His only goal is to honor your memory and ensure that history remembers the truth.
Late one night, as he prepares to flee the country with his damning documents, Lando allows himself a moment of quiet reflection. He thinks of your smile, your compassion, the way you challenged him to see beyond his rigid beliefs.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispers to the empty room. “I failed you in this life. But I swear, somehow, I’ll make it right. If there’s any justice in the universe, we’ll meet again. And next time, I’ll protect you. I’ll choose you over everything else.”
As he slips out into the night, Lando feels a strange sense of certainty. This isn’t the end of your story. Somehow, someway, you’ll find each other again.
The wheel of fate continues to turn, carrying your intertwined souls towards yet another lifetime. But with each cycle, the bond between you grows stronger. Perhaps next time, you’ll finally break free of this tragic pattern and find the happiness that’s eluded you for so long.
Jonestown, 1978
The humid Guyanese air hangs heavy over Jonestown, thick with tension and the cloying scent of tropical flowers. You stand among the gathered crowd, your heart pounding so hard you fear it might burst from your chest. Beside you, Lando’s hand finds yours, squeezing tightly.
“This isn’t right,” he murmurs, his voice barely audible over the droning speech coming from the pavilion. “We need to get out of here.”
You nod imperceptibly, not daring to speak. Jim Jones’ paranoid ravings have reached a fever pitch in recent days, and you both know that even the slightest hint of dissent could be deadly.
“My children,” Jones’ voice booms out over the loudspeakers, “the time has come for us to make our final stand against the oppressors who seek to destroy our paradise.”
A murmur ripples through the crowd. You scan the sea of faces, seeing a mix of blind devotion and barely concealed terror.
“Our Congressional visitors have betrayed us,” Jones continues, his words slurring slightly. “They will bring nothing but destruction. We have no choice but to enact our glorious revolutionary suicide.”
Your blood runs cold. You’d heard whispers of this plan, but had desperately hoped it was just another of Jones’ manipulative tactics.
“Lando,” you whisper urgently, “we have to run. Now.”
He nods, his face pale but determined. “Follow my lead. When I give the signal, we make a break for the jungle.”
But before you can move, you feel a vice-like grip on your arm. You turn to see your mother, her eyes wild with fervor.
“Where do you think you’re going?” She hisses. “This is our moment of triumph. You will not ruin it with your lack of faith.”
On Lando’s other side, his father has a similar hold on him. The older man’s face is a mask of grim resignation. “Don’t make this harder than it has to be, son,” he says quietly.
You watch in horror as Jones’ lieutenants begin distributing paper cups filled with a sinister purple liquid. The bitter almond smell of cyanide fills the air.
“No,” you breathe, struggling against your mother’s grip. “Mom, please. This is insanity. We don’t have to do this!”
But your pleas fall on deaf ears. Your mother’s grip only tightens as she accepts two cups from a passing aide.
“Drink,” she commands, thrusting one towards you.
You shake your head vehemently, clamping your mouth shut. Beside you, Lando is engaged in a similar struggle with his father.
“You can’t force us to do this!” Lando shouts, drawing the attention of nearby cult members. “This is murder!”
Jones’ voice cuts through the growing commotion. “Those who resist are traitors to our cause. They must be made to comply, for the good of all.”
Suddenly, you’re surrounded by a group of Jones’ most fanatical followers. Rough hands grab you, forcing your head back. You struggle wildly, but it’s no use. You feel the cold rim of the cup pressed against your lips.
“No!” Lando cries out, fighting to reach you. “Leave her alone!”
But he too is overwhelmed, multiple hands restraining him as the poisoned drink is forced upon him.
The sickly-sweet liquid burns your throat as it’s poured into your mouth. You choke and splutter, but can’t prevent some of it from going down. Beside you, Lando’s muffled cries tell you he’s suffering the same fate.
As the hands release you, you collapse to your knees, coughing violently. Your vision swims, the world taking on a surreal, nightmarish quality.
“Lando,” you gasp, reaching out blindly.
His hand finds yours, gripping it weakly. “I’m here,” he manages, his voice raw. “I’m so sorry. I couldn’t protect you.”
You crawl closer, fighting against the growing weakness in your limbs. All around, people are collapsing, some screaming in agony while others slip away in eerie silence.
“It’s not your fault,” you whisper, cupping Lando’s face with a trembling hand. “We never stood a chance against this madness.”
Lando’s eyes, clouded with pain, meet yours. “This can’t be how it ends,” he says desperately. “Not again.”
A strange sense of déjà vu washes over you. “Again?” You murmur, confused.
He nods weakly. “I don’t know how, but I feel like we’ve been here before. Facing death together, unable to stop it.”
As the poison works its way through your system, flashes of other lives flicker through your mind. Ancient Egypt, Pompeii, Salem, Russia — each time, finding each other only to be torn apart.
“I remember,” you breathe, wonder mingling with the pain. “We keep finding each other, but we never get our happy ending.”
Lando pulls you closer, both of you shaking with the effort of fighting off the inevitable. “Next time,” he vows, his voice barely above a whisper. “Next time we’ll break this cycle. We’ll find a way to be together.”
You manage a small, sad smile. “Promise?”
“I promise,” he murmurs, pressing a weak kiss to your forehead.
As consciousness begins to slip away, you cling to each other. The sounds of screaming and Jones’ maniacal laughter fade into the background. In these final moments, there is only you and Lando, and the love that has somehow endured across lifetimes.
“Find me again,” you whisper, echoing words spoken in another life.
Lando’s grip on your hand tightens fractionally. “Always,” he breathes.
As darkness closes in, you’re filled with a strange sense of hope. This tragic cycle can’t go on forever. Someday, somehow, you’ll find a way to break free and finally have the life together you’ve been denied so many times.
Your last thought, as you slip away, is a prayer to whatever cosmic force keeps bringing you together.
Next time, let it be different.
Next time, let us live.
And as your souls depart this tragic scene, unseen wheels of fate begin to turn once more. The cycle continues, but perhaps this time, with the weight of so many shared lifetimes behind you, you’ll finally find your way to a happier ending.
In the years that follow, as the horror of Jonestown is revealed to the world, two names are lost among the hundreds of victims. But your story — the story of a love that refuses to be extinguished — lives on, waiting for the next chapter to unfold.
Monaco, 2024
The soft glow of computer screens illuminates Lando’s face as he leans into his microphone, his eyes darting between the chat and his game. “No, chat, I’m not going to sing the Baby Shark song,” he chuckles, shaking his head. “You lot are absolutely mental, you know that?”
The door to his streaming room creaks open, and he glances over, his face softening into a warm smile as you pad in, wrapped in an oversized hoodie you’ve stolen from his wardrobe.
“Speaking of sharks,” Lando grins, addressing his audience, “look who’s decided to join us. It’s my favorite cuddly shark!”
You roll your eyes fondly at the nickname, a reference to your habit of playfully nipping at his shoulder when you’re feeling particularly affectionate. As you approach, Lando pushes his chair back slightly, making room for you to settle onto his lap.
“Come here, you,” he murmurs, wrapping an arm around your waist as you curl into him, burying your face in the crook of his neck. To his stream, he explains, “Sorry chat, the missus is feeling a bit clingy tonight. Not that I’m complaining, mind you.”
You mumble something unintelligible into his skin, making him laugh. “What was that, love? The stream can’t hear you when you’re trying to become one with my neck.”
Lifting your head slightly, you repeat, “I said, don’t let me interrupt your gaming. I just wanted cuddles.”
Lando presses a quick kiss to your forehead. “You’re never an interruption. Besides, I think the chat’s been asking for a cameo from you all night.”
You turn to face the camera, waving sleepily. “Hi, chat. Sorry I’m not more entertaining tonight. Long day at work.”
The chat explodes with greetings and well-wishes, scrolling by almost too fast to read. Lando chuckles, giving you a gentle squeeze. “See? They love you. Probably more than they love me, to be honest.”
“That’s fair,” you murmur, nuzzling back into his neck. “No one loves you more than I do.”
Lando’s breath catches for a moment, and you feel his heart rate pick up. Even after all this time together, simple declarations of love still affect him deeply. It’s one of the many things you adore about him.
“Alright, chat,” Lando says, his voice a touch huskier than before. “You’ve gone and made her all sappy. I hope you’re happy with yourselves.”
You can’t help but giggle at his attempt to deflect. “Oh please, you love it when I’m sappy.”
“Maybe,” he concedes with a grin. “But if I admit that, they’ll never let me hear the end of it. I have a reputation to maintain, you know.”
You snort inelegantly. “What reputation? Everyone knows you’re a big softie.”
“Oi!” Lando protests, poking you in the side and making you squirm. “I’ll have you know I’m very tough and manly. Right, chat?”
The stream erupts with a mix of agreement and playful disagreement, peppered with emotes and inside jokes. You watch the scrolling text with amusement, marveling at the community Lando has built.
“See?” Lando says triumphantly. “They agree with me.”
You raise an eyebrow. “I’m pretty sure at least half of those messages were sarcastic, babe.”
Lando waves a hand dismissively. “Details, details. The point is, I’m incredibly macho and not at all a softie.”
“Mmhmm,” you hum skeptically. “Is that why you cried watching Up last week?”
“Hey!” Lando exclaims, his cheeks flushing slightly. “That’s classified information, that is. You can’t just go revealing my secrets to the entire internet!”
The chat goes wild at this revelation, demanding to know more about Lando’s movie-watching habits. You can’t help but laugh at his mock-outraged expression.
“Sorry, love,” you say, not sounding sorry at all. “But if I have to put up with your sniffling during Disney movies, the least I can do is share the joy with your fans.”
Lando groans dramatically. “That’s it, I’m filing for divorce. Chat, you’re my witnesses. This is grounds for divorce, right? Revealing a man’s most intimate vulnerabilities?”
You roll your eyes fondly. “We’re not even married yet, you goof.”
The words slip out before you can think better of them, and suddenly the atmosphere in the room shifts. Lando’s eyes widen slightly, his gaze locking with yours.
“Yet?” He repeats softly, a note of wonder in his voice.
You feel your cheeks heat up, but you don’t look away. “Well, yeah. I mean, unless you had other plans?”
For a moment, Lando seems to forget entirely about the stream. His hand comes up to cup your cheek, thumb brushing gently across your skin. “No other plans,” he murmurs. “Just you. Always you.”
The intimacy of the moment is broken by the chat exploding once again, this time with a flurry of ring emotes and excited keysmashes. Lando blinks, seeming to remember where he is.
“Right,” he says, clearing his throat. “Well, chat, I think that’s my cue to end the stream for tonight. Got some, uh, important things to discuss with this one.”
You bury your face in his neck again, half embarrassed and half thrilled by the turn of events. As Lando rushes through his usual sign-off, you can feel the barely contained energy thrumming through him.
The moment the stream ends, Lando spins his chair to face you fully, his eyes bright with excitement. “Did you mean that?” He asks eagerly. “About the marriage thing?”
You lift your head, meeting his gaze with a soft smile. “Of course I did. Lando, I’ve loved you for lifetimes. There’s nothing I want more than to marry you.”
Something flashes in his eyes at your words — a fleeting moment of recognition, as if some long-buried memory is struggling to surface. But then it’s gone, replaced by pure joy.
“Lifetimes, huh?” He grins, pulling you closer. “Well, in that case, I suppose we better make this one count.”
As his lips meet yours in a tender kiss, you’re filled with an overwhelming sense of rightness. After so many tragic endings, you’ve finally found your happily ever after. And this time, you’re not letting go.
“I love you,” you murmur against his lips. “In this life and every other.”
Lando’s answering smile is radiant. “And I love you. Always have, always will.”
As you lose yourselves in each other’s embrace, the echoes of past lives fade away. This is your time, your chance at happiness. And you plan to make the most of every single moment.
#f1 imagine#f1#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#f1 fanfiction#f1 x reader#f1 x you#lando norris#ln4#lando norris imagine#lando norris x reader#lando norris x you#lando norris fic#lando norris fluff#lando norris fanfic#lando norris blurb#f1 fluff#f1 blurb#f1 one shot#f1 x y/n#f1 drabble#f1 fandom#f1blr#f1 x female reader#lando norris x female reader#lando norris x y/n#mclaren#lando norris one shot#lando norris drabble
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Hi, sorry to bug but I have to yap to someone about this, and I love your ideas. Do you think Nathan Prescott would take his partner’s last name if he ever got married? Would any of the Crazy Ass Boy Gang?
❥ who would take your last name ❥
Nathan Prescott - He would take your last name so quickly it would make your head spin. You’re the first person who’s given meaning to the world family. His sister tried, but when you’re on a sinking ship, there’s only so much you can do. Try too desperately to save the person drowning next to you and you risk going under yourself. So Nathan drowned alone. Until you, that is. Marrying you, becoming part of your family, is absolution for him. He’s not Sean Prescott’s son. He’s Nathan Y/L/N, your husband.
Jason Dean/JD - It might seem a little strange for JD to be so willing to change his name. His nickname is just his first and last name together, afterall. This was his mother’s last name. But it’s also his father’s. One night he’ll gently wake you , and in the quietest voice you’ve ever heard him use he'll ask you if you’d like him to take your last name. There are so many questions he’s asking, in that one sentence: Do you want me to be yours, unequivocally? Will you bear the weight of that ownership? Am I abandoning my Mother, if I leave her all alone as a Dean, with only him as her company? Will you ask me to take it? Please ask. Please take the weight of the asking away. I can’t abandon her. But I can’t stay, either. Put your arms around him and tell him he’ll make one hell of a Y/L/N.
❥ who would want you to take theirs ❥
Sebastian Valmont - He has genuinely doodled your names together in his journals like a middle schooler. Without a hint of irony: Mr. and Mx. Valmont. Y/N Valmont. Since the moment he fell in love he was planning to marry you and give you his last name. The Valmont name carries weight. It’s legacy. It’s old money. He throws his name around and people fall over themselves to get things done for him. He wants you to throw around his name too. He wants you to embrace every luxury he can give you. One of those luxuries is the power of his family name. Use it.
Billy Loomis - His parent’s marriage failed miserably. He doesn’t even know if his Mother kept the name Loomis. At this point, what does it matter? He fights tooth and nail not to live in the past when he has a future with you to look forward to. So he wants to look forward. He wants to do better than his parents did. He wants to wake up in ten years, twenty, thirty and reach for your hand and know you two succeeded. His family name isn’t doomed to failed promises, runaway spouses, and unfaithfulness. You guys are a better Loomis pair than his parents ever were.
David Mccall - Don’t piss him off. If you even try to hint at wanting to keep your original family name, it will be one of the few times you see David’s mask slip. “What? My name not good enough for you, sweetheart? Marriage is for starting over. It’s for building our lives together, not for hanging onto the past. Thought you loved me.” Every dirty trick he has in his arsenal will be used. Whatever it takes until you give in. Sex. Guilt. Moping. Anger. Don’t push back too hard, or go back and forth on the issue for too long. On your wedding day you’re gonna be Y/N Mccall, come hell or high water. There’s no need for anything drastic to take place just for that to happen, right baby?
Josh Washington - Josh could never be anything but a Washington. It’s the name he shared with his sisters. It’s the only thing he still shares with his sisters. He used to be able to see them in his face, at least. But now… he’s so different, even that bit of the twins has died. It isn’t right that there are so few Washington's left. Most days Josh isn’t even sure if he’s a Washington anymore. If he’s still Human anymore. But you are. You’re gentle, kind, and so painfully human. Just like the twins were. He might have failed them, hell, he probably failed himself. But he won’t fail you. He has a second chance at a family, and this time you’ll always be safe.
Sparrow!Ben Hargreeves - Would be so offended if this was even up for debate. Why wouldn’t you be taking his name? Why is it even a discussion? Why does he even have to ask? Will probably say something incredibly mean and unnecessary when you first talk about it. There’s a pit of insecurity in him that no amount of love you can give him will fill. It’s shaped like the love he should have gotten from his father. From his siblings. But the first love he’s ever felt has been yours. But that’s not true for you. You’ve loved people before him. Other people have loved you before he was able to. He needs you to be his. Just his. You’re the only thing in the world that matters that belongs only to him. But there are little pieces of you that will never be just his and it makes him sick. This can fix all that, though! He knows that the security of introducing you as his spouse will be a balm on his soul. He wants tabloids, newspapers, TV, and the radio to all be parroting the words: Y/N Hargreeves. He hopes- no, he knows it will make that hole inside him ache a little less.
❥ who wants to hyphenate ❥
Jordan Li - Jordan doesn’t want you to give up your identity, who you are, just because you’re marrying them. They also don’t want to change their name, really. Something about not being a Li, despite everything, makes their stomach turn. But marriage is still about coming together. Making two lives so harmonious, so copacetic, that sometimes, if you’re lucky, it becomes one life, shared. Jordan didn’t propose for a long time, afraid of it all going wrong. Of ruining what you have. You helped them believe you two were strong enough to change and grow together. They want your names to reflect that. So, you hyphenate, and you blend, and grow, together.
Stu Macher - Assumed you would take his last name, but when you pushed back, not sure if you wanted to shirk your family name entirely, Stu had the most relaxed reaction you’ve ever gotten from him about anything. “Okay, why don’t we both change 'em’? We’ll hyphenate! Like Brad Pitt and Angelina, or whatever.” You were expecting a tantrum. Not the easy acceptance that he actually meant for once. The fact is you’re wearing his ring on your finger, and you’re gonna stand in front of all your friends and family and say how much you love him. He’s already won. Why sweat the small stuff?
Kevin Khatchadourian - Was quite angry when you began to hint at not wanting to change your name. It was the icy, calculated anger that made him dangerous, too. But if you’re marrying him you know how to communicate with him. Reason with him. You don’t want to take his last name because you don’t want to emulate his family. You want to make something of your own with him. You’re not sure how well the words worked until he sets the paperwork down in front of you. Kevin Y/L/N-Khatchadourian. In those small lines of ink, you’ll realize how deep the love Kevin is capable of runs for you. If you squint your eyes those words start to look like: I want us to be different from my parents. He watches you sign the paperwork to change your name, and Kevin has never been more content to give in to one of your demands. Just this once, of course.
A/N: i LOVE a character study question that’s still x reader. you are my favorite person in the world for this one. if you enjoyed these headcanons consider reblogging, leaving a reply, or an anon! a writer's fuel is engagement. xoxoxo
#nathan and jd hating their fathers so much only topic theyd ever agree on. otherwise they would kill each other upon first eye contact#they all have something so deeply wrong with them#crazy ass boys gang#nathan prescott x reader#jd x reader#jordan li x reader#billy loomis x reader#stu macher x reader#josh washington x reader#kevin khatchadourian x reader#sebastian valmont x reader#david mccall x reader#ben hargreeves x reader
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What if...Agatha and Rio raised a child together
THIS IS how I cope 😭
Taking request btw
TORN
The air crackled with magic, a familiar sensation that sent a shiver down your spine. It was the same energy that pulsed through your veins, a legacy passed down from your mothers. You were a witch, born of two powerful beings: Agatha Harkness, the enigmatic witch. and Rio, the charming and mischievous witch.
Growing up, your life was anything but ordinary. You spent your days flitting between Agatha's secluded cottage in the woods and Rio's bustling dead realm, a world of shadow and death. Your childhood was a tapestry of contrasting experiences: Agatha's strict lessons in magic, her insistence on discipline and control, and Rio's playful chaos, her encouragement of your wild, untamed magic.
It was a constant tug-of-war, a battle between order and chaos, between the light and the dark. You loved both your mothers fiercely, but their conflicting natures created a chasm within you, a constant struggle to reconcile the two halves of your being.
One day, you found yourself standing on the precipice of that chasm. You had been practicing a powerful spell, one that had been passed down through generations of your family. It was a spell of immense power, capable of manipulating time and reality itself. But as you channeled the energy, you felt a surge of fear, a sense of dread that gripped your heart.
"Stop!" a voice boomed, echoing through your mind. It was Agatha, her voice laced with a mixture of concern and anger. "That spell is too dangerous. You're not ready."
But Rio's voice countered, a playful whisper that tickled your ears. "Don't listen to her, darling. Embrace your power. You're stronger than you think."
Torn between their conflicting advice, you faltered. The spell began to unravel, the energy spiraling out of control. You felt a surge of panic, a sense of impending doom.
"I can't control it!" you cried, your voice filled with desperation.
Agatha's magic surged around you, a protective shield that contained the spiraling energy. You felt her presence, a comforting warmth that calmed your racing heart. But as the spell subsided, you felt a cold dread settle in.
"You've made a mistake," Agatha said, her voice laced with disappointment. "You've crossed a line that you shouldn't have."
Rio's voice was softer, laced with a hint of sadness. "Don't be so hard on her, Agatha. She's still learning."
You looked from one mother to the other, their faces etched with a mixture of love and concern. You were caught in the middle, a pawn in their unspoken rivalry.
"I just wanted to be like you," you whispered, your voice choked with emotion. "I wanted to be powerful, to control my destiny."
Agatha knelt before you, her eyes filled with a deep sorrow. "You are powerful, (Y/N)," she said, her voice gentle. "But power comes with responsibility. You must learn to control it, to wield it with wisdom and compassion."
Rio reached out, her hand resting on your shoulder. "And don't forget, darling," she said, her voice laced with a mischievous twinkle. "It's okay to be a little wild, a little chaotic."
You felt a tear roll down your cheek, a mixture of sadness and relief. You were loved, by both your mothers, despite their differences. And you knew that you had to find a way to bridge the chasm within yourself, to embrace both the light and the dark, to become the witch you were destined to be.
The journey ahead was uncertain, filled with challenges and temptations. But you knew that you weren't alone. You had your mothers, their love and guidance a beacon in the darkness. And you had your own strength, your own magic, a power that pulsed within you, a legacy of both order and chaos, a testament to the love of two extraordinary women.
#agatha harkness x reader#rio vidal x reader#agatha all along x reader#agatha coven of chaos#agatha all along#agatha harkness#agathario
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I think I Fell in Love
A continuation of Deep Talk
fem*Reader x Changbin
*WARNING*
WC: 2.6
Contains: oral (F receiving), over-clothes stimulation, fingering, teasing, unprotected sex (don't), rough dom, nicknames; I'm sure I missed something
Deep Talk
Two days had passed—two restless days since you had seen Changbin.
You both didn’t sleep together after that night. You both got really close, but something in him snapped and he stopped before things progressed any further. Even though you desperately wanted him, you respected that he wanted to wait, and he left only a few moments after the fact.
You tried texting, calling, and even reaching out to his flatmate just to make sure he was okay. You both never went a day without at least texting each other a few times; it felt strange, almost like he was ignoring you.
The pang in your heart felt like a bat against glass. You hated the thought that he might regret a single moment of what you two shared. Maybe you went too fast, or he didn’t feel the same, or he realized something about you that made him turn away, and your head spun.
You walk into work on a glorious Monday. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, but you are the very essence of doom and gloom. You nod at your coworkers as you make your way to your desk when a friend stops you in your tracks. It’s the new intern—what was his name? Jinnie? Hyunjie?
“Hey, Y/N!” he says with a smile that reaches his eyes. He’s quite pretty, you think, his buzz-cut blonde hair shining in the light.
“Hey… you,” you respond with a smile.
“Hyunjin,” he says with a knowing smile. He’s only been around for a week. You sigh with an apologetic relief. “There’s something on your desk,” he winks.
Your brows furrow in curiosity. What could it be? With quick steps, you make your way over to your little desk and see something that makes your breath hitch.
Right next to your computer, glimmering in the light and brightening your entire cramped space, is a small vase of bright white calla lilies—your favorite. In front of it sits a small note.
I can't stop thinking about what happened, I can’t stop thinking about you. I want to apologize for how I acted, in person. How about dinner at my place tonight at 7? I want to make it up to you—just the two of us.
You could almost hear him whispering those tantalizing words, his voice wrapping around your ears like a warm embrace. The note. The flowers. It all made your heart swell, and the ping of anticipation made your whole body come alive. You couldn’t wait for dinner.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
She was coming at seven. She had to be. You wouldn’t stand him up…right?
His head snapped to the door, the sound slicing through the ambient noise of sizzling meat and crackling flames on the grill. That little knock, soft yet distinct, was one he recognized instantly, and it sent a jolt of electricity through him. Eagerly, he strode to the door, the aroma of spices mingling with the rich, savory scent of the meat wafting through the air, teasing his senses.
As he opened the door, a broad smile spread across his face, radiating warmth and welcome. But the instant his eyes landed on you, that smile faltered, replaced by a look of awe. You were stunning, a vision in his favorite dress—one he had lovingly helped you choose.
He couldn’t shake the memory of you stepping out of the dressing room, a nervous excitement dancing in your eyes. The deep, luxurious red velvet clung to your figure, wrapping itself around your waist in the most flattering way, making your curves all the more enchanting. The skirt flared gracefully just above your knees, giving it a playful bounce with each movement.
The dress sparkled under the soft light as if it had been kissed by the stars, while the delicate pink roses woven throughout the fabric added an element of charm; they danced along the hem and brought an air of innocence with the dress’s alluring design. As he stood there, captivated, his heart raced, and he felt a wave of admiration wash over him. You looked like a dream, the kind of dream he never wanted to wake from. Yet, despite the overwhelming urge to express how breathtaking you were, he kept those words locked away, choosing instead to let his eyes convey the depth of his wonder.
He could sense you getting nervous from his stare; he had to say something, do something. “Um-” he stuttered, his palms becoming oddly sweaty. “You look” he gestured to the dress, but all he could let out was a sigh and a small smile.
“I look?” he nodded to the dress.
“Breathtaking” Suddenly, the memory of your lips against his came rushing back his hands clenched at his sides; he could still feel how your tongue swirled around his cock like you were devouring him; he itched to touch you. Not yet, not yet, he chanted to himself.
You smiled, a blush that couldn’t be hidden by make-up adorned your cheeks. He stepped aside to let you in.
You stepped into his apartment, smelling the irresistible smell of cooking meat. “My god, that smells amazing,” you groaned, and Changbin had to physically stop himself from moaning. He wanted to make you groan again. He wanted to make you moan…
“Have a seat, I’ll serve you a plate,” he said.
And he did just. You both ate and talked about each other's day, not yet venturing into the topic you both were dying to discuss. He didn’t want to ruin the moment just yet; he wanted to hear your laugh.
He waited as long as he could until he got up to take your dirty plates away. The laughter in the room was draining. “Bin,” you say. Your voice soft. “Can we talk about the other night?”
His smile faded, and his shoulders slumped. He nodded as he set the plates in the sink. Then, he rounded the corner, leaning his back against the counter to steady himself and look you in the eye.
You looked so hurt. So worried about what he was going to do. “I’m sorry I ran out the other night. I should’ve stayed. I should’ve-”
“Not if you were uncomfortable. I won’t be mad at you for not wanting to sleep with me. That’s okay. I just want to know why?”
Your words leave him breathless. Thats what you're worried about? Him not wanting to have sex with you? That’s what had your mind spinning? My god, he royally fucked up. “No, no, no. thats not- shit” he rakes his hand through his hair.
You step out of your chair, making the move to comfort him, reaching out a hand. You touch his shoulders, trying anything to ease his stress. Your touch is so soft and gentle. This isn’t right; he’ll ruin you.
“What's wrong? Talk to me, Binnie, please,” you're begging. My god, you're begging him. He’s going to lose the last bit of control he has.
“It's not that I didn’t want to have sex with you. You don’t know how badly I want to take you to my bedroom right now and show you just how badly I want to fuck you into next week.” he pauses, and your eyes go wide. “But,” he holds your shoulders, “You're the one girl I’ve always wanted to do right by; I didn’t want to take you to bed without a proper date and ask you the proper question first. It was bad enough I took advantage of you that night; I didn’t- I didn’t want it just to end. I didn’t want to lose you.”
His chest heaves with each breath. It's out. Everything he wanted to say, you know now. But you don’t say anything; you stare at him like he’s growing another head. He’s shrinking under your stare. " Say something,” he demands.
Your mouth moves to say something, but nothing but a sigh leaves your lips. “I knew it.” his eyes bruns with the threat of tears. “I knew you wouldn’t feel the same.”
His head hurts. He’s holding all his strength so tears don’t fall, and his whole body aches to be held. He’s so engrossed by his dooming thoughts that he doesn’t see the surprise on your face or how your eyes go wide with the realization that he’s shutting down.
Suddenly, you grab hold of his face with both hands and slam your lips against his. Both of you pour every bit of emotion into that kiss. Your lips move along one another, saying a hidden sentence. Changbin holds the back of your head, deepening the kiss, demanding entrance past the barrier of your lips.
Changbin takes complete control, gripping you like you might vanish before him. You swing your arms around his neck, pulling him impossibly closer. You pull away for a breath, staring in Changbin’s eyes, tears glassing over your vision. “I’ve loved you from the day I met you. That night you kissed me was the best night of my life. I never wanted it to end.”
His piercing gaze travels from your eyes to your lips, sweeping over your entire face as if he had just experienced a surge of adrenaline. Your smile—the one that lights up the room—makes his heart shatter into a million blissful fragments. It’s that radiant smile that he treasures above all else, a beacon of joy in his life. Your eyes twinkle like stars caught in a clear night sky, and the intoxicating scent that clings to you drives him to the brink of madness, awakening a whirlwind of desire within him, but he could watch you smile all day and not complain. He would watch you smile because you didn’t want this end, this want’ going to end. He was going to keep that smile on your face for as long as he could draw a single breath.
He kisses you one more time, wrapping his arms around your waist and spinning you around in his hold. You can’t help the laugh that bubbles out of you. “Then why don’t we pick up where we left off, hm?” he smirks.
…..
Heat bubbles in the pit of your stomach, twisting a turning, a sheer excitement that you can’t ignore. Changbin carried you all the way to his bed, the dirty dishes forgotten.
With a gentle fall, he threw you onto the bed. Your arms flying above your head. Your dress rode higher on your thighs, exposing a sheer piece of lacy fabric between your legs. You could visibility see Changbins eyes darken.
“I want you laid out like my own personal feast,” he growled. Then he pounced. He braced himself on either side of you, ravishing your lips, then your neck, leaving love bites in his wake. Your hands flew to anything you could grab: his hair, his arms, his waist, desperately trying to cling to him in any way.
Changbin’s kisses trail lower and lower until he kisses the inside of your thigh. He lifts the skirt of your dress, revealing the lacy material you wore just for him. He kisses the fabric, the light touch making your whole body shiver. “Binnie”, you moan, itching to touch him.
“Shh, shh, let me take care of my pretty girl,” he says, his hot breath making you clench. His words didn’t go unnoticed. The idea that you were now “his girl,” that you are his and he is yours, made your whole body sing with a new desire.
Changbin hooks his fingers around the apex of the fabric, pulling it to the side to reveal your soaking sex. The first lick of Changbin’s tongue sent you reeling, feeling the burning firelight. He moaned in approval as he saw your body arch in pleasure. His hands slid to your thighs and then to your waist, pinning you in place. Your hands searched for anything to grab hold of; they started in his hair, pulling him closer to you as his tongue plunged deeper inside you; then they searched for the edge of the bed to grip the edge of the world that you were very near to falling off of.
He licked and kissed, alternating between your folds, your clit, and the inside of your walls. The noises you let out were pure animalistic, and he showed his undying approval with a sheer determination to send you barreling over the edge.
His fingers joined in, moving in tandem with his tongue. He kept a consistent motion, his tongue twirling your bud like he was playing with candy while his fingers pumped inside. It was all too much. Your whole body caved in on itself as you felt your climax shudder through you.
“Bin,” you rasped.
You needed him. Now.
He stood up from the edge of the bed, your body panting along with his breaths. “Your mine” he whispered to himself, but your whole body scattered in goosebumps, and that burning desire returned to the pit of your stomach.
Without delay, you hurriedly pulled the dress over your head and threw it across the room to a neglected corner. Meanwhile, Changbin began unbuttoning his pants and tossed his shirt off. Your mouth went dry at the sight of him. Broad shoulders with defined muscled arms. Thighs so strong it was no wonder he could pick you up so easily, and the prominent length between those thighs…..you wanted him. You needed him. You didn’t care if it was up against a wall or on the kitchen counter; you needed him.
He collapsed on top of you, bracing himself and crashing his lips to yours. The kiss, open and passionate, a mix of teeth and tongues in a beautiful symphony. You locked your legs around his waist,t pulling him closer. You hiss as his tip slid against your sensitive bud.
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispers which sends chills against your bones. He nudged at your entrance and finally slid in…and in….and in.
Your breath caught in your throat, and thoughts and words died before they could form. He started slow, deliberate, delicate. You clawed at his back until you were sure marks would appear in the morning. His face contorted into a mix of pain and pleasure; he was holding back, and you knew it. “Please, Bin,” you begged.
“Say it,” he pleaded. You knew what he meant.
“I’m yours,” you said, gripping his bicep and moving your hips in tandem with his thrusts. “I’m yours,” you repeated. Again, he pulled out only to connect with your hips. Again. Again. “I’m yours,” you moaned loudly as his thrusts were faster, deeper.
“You're mine. And I’m yours,” he whispered against your ear. Release ripped through your body with one final thrust, shaking your entire beginning. Changbin groaned as he felt you clench around his length, and then you felt him twitch inside you.
…..
The soft morning light filtered through the sheer curtains, casting a warm glow on the disheveled sheets that tangled around you both. The world outside felt distant, fading into a gentle background hum. The only sounds in the room were the rhythmic breath you shared and the occasional soft sigh that slipped from your lips.
With a tender touch, Changbin brushed a wayward strand of hair from your forehead, his fingers lingering against your skin for just a moment longer. His gaze was earnest, filled with something that made your heart flutter and your stomach twists with anticipation. “I think I fell in love with you,” he confessed softly, his voice barely above a whisper.
You met his penetrating gaze, feeling a rush of warmth flood through you. “I think I fell in love with you, too.”
#smut#stray kids x reader#story#stray kids smut#short story#skz smut#stray kids#limbo#fem reader#skz#changbin smut#changbin stray kids#changbin fluff#changbin x reader#changbin x you#changbin
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GIBSON GIRL p. parker
synopsis: peter's been MIA for a few days, but when you go to his apartment to check on him you're met with a much different peter than you expected..
genres: smut, established relationship, symbiote!peter
warnings: smut, rough sex, unprotected sex, choking
a/n: this has been collecting dust in my drafts for tewww long so i thought i'd put it out while i try to finish a part2 to the harry fic for u guys!!
you wanna love me right now
you wanna get alone with me
you wanna get my clothes off
and hurt me
when you stepped into the cool air of your boyfriend's apartment, something felt off. There was a doomed feeling clawing at your chest, like your nervous system was on fire, pleading with you to go back the way you came.
He hadn't been answering your texts, and when you called it went straight to voicemail, the familiar chirpy voice down the line had been taunting you for days; 'Hey, this is Peter, leave a message'
You took a few cautious steps further into his home, dropping your bag by your feet and flinching at the noise it made. The apartment was eerily silent, the little clacks of your combat boots evident against the parquet flooring. Nearing the bedroom, you took a shaky breath and slowly pushed open the door, only to find twisted sheets and an empty mattress.
You sighed, dropping your shoulders and cursing yourself for how dramatic you were being. The apartment was empty; Peter was probably out on patrol, busting his ass to break whatever case Yuri had set for him that had been stealing him away from you.
Though just as you began removing your jacket, you felt the hairs on the back of your neck prick up and your entire body go stiff.
Someone was here; and it didn't feel like Peter.
Terrified to turn around and face, what you assumed to be, your attacker, you stayed completely stationary, praying if you just stayed still enough they would fail to see you and perhaps leave you alone.
You racked your brain for any kind of enemy Spider-man had made over the last few months, though not many would be nimble enough to break into a 6th story apartment in Queens.
You felt the looming presence creep up behind you and prepared yourself to make a beeline straight to the open window, figuring you could make your way down the fire escape in time. Though just as you were ready to run, a familiar, groggy voice called out behind you and you whipped your head around to face him; "Peter?"
Within moments he was crashing into you, big arms wrapped tightly around your middle and nose buried in your neck. You stumbled slightly, bringing a hand up to tangle itself in his hair while your other went limp at your side, trapped in his embrace.
he mumbled something incoherent into your jawline and pressed a particularly sloppy kiss to the exposed area,making you gasp at how desperate he sounded.
Your neck craned to accommodate him lapping hungrily at your skin; "Are you.. okay?" you asked, disjointed from the stages of panic your body had been plunged into, unsure if you should feel safe yet.
He nodded eagerly, suckling a dark spot into your jugular and groaning at the soft feeling of your flesh between his teeth; "'Just wanna fuck you, baby.."
You instinctively tried to take a step back but he only pulled you closer, nearly knocking the air from you with the bruising hold he had around your ribs; "Ouch, Pete, be gentle!"
He ignored your cry, moving to nibble viciously at your collarbone and you were sure you felt a hot string of saliva connect with the cool skin there and shuddered.
"Peter, can we talk first? You haven't been answering any of my calls—"
You let out a choked noise as his hand came in contact with your neck, fingers squeezing tightly around your throat as he pushed your head back just enough to make sure he could see you clearly.
He had never done this before.
Despite the terrifying grip he had on your throat, he shushed you calmly, though the pale, sunken look on his face was unsettling.
Now you could really get a good look at him, you realised how disheveled he looked; his usually kept and put together appearance nowhere to be found. His hair was scruffy and stuck out at different angles, a few pieces falling just over his eyes and obscuring the dark, hollow, look in them. There was a thin layer of sweat covering him, pooling at the deep grooves between his furrowed brows and the puffy outline of his tired under eyes — he looked conflicted, or maybe like he was fighting something off.
Your hand had flown up to curl around his wrist, though he took notice of the way you hadn't tried to fight him, you simply took it. The newly acquired voice in his head wondered how much they could make you take.
"Get on the bed."
You could just about gasp out a 'what?' but his grip tightened, restricting your airways almost completely and making you yelp.
"Do as your told."
Your knees buckled and you collapsed onto the mattress, falling flat on your front and gasping for air while you tried to keep yourself up right.
You heard him shuffling behind you and nearly yelled out when you felt the slick feeling of his tip brushing against your back while he pushed your sweatpants over your ass.
Peter never skipped foreplay.
"Wait—"
He stopped your wailing by pressing the flat of his palm right against your heat, assessing the wetness soaking your underwear; he leaned down to your ear as he spoke, breath tickling the tip of your ear; "Seems like you're wet enough to me."
His words were so vulgar that you couldn't even force a reply, leaning to rest your head against his bicep while he leaned over you, chest pressed to your back.
Peter was fighting a futile battle, reeling at how submissive you were being for him, yet trying oh so hard to just 'leave her alone' — he was pleading, desperate for the parasite inhabiting him to — 'don't touch her' — but this darkness he felt was crawling through every fold of his brain and Peter had spent the last few days cooped up in his apartment, starving it.
When your meek, little voice cried out his name his stomach lurched — 'Not her.' — but he couldn't help the way he was pushing into you, lewd images of every position he wished he could have you in all at once clouding him — 'there's so much time' — your back arched so obediently for him and he groaned at the delicious feeling of you clenching around him.
His hand found your hair, wrapping the silky strands around his fist and using it as leverage to barrel into you. You turned to peak at him over your shoulder, gloss smeared lips and glassy eyes gawking right at him, so perfect for him— he could eat you whole.
'she's practically begging for it' — his eyes screwed shut and his grip on your hair tightened — 'do it.. ' — Peter's head dropped backward and a desperate moan tumbled from his lips — 'take her now..'— he curled forward, wrapping himself around your back and bringing a shaky finger out to flick at your clit, sending shocks through you and making you cry out — 'DO IT..' — his mouth found your skin once more, suckling a harsh mark into the dip where your neck met your shoulder — 'DO IT NOW' — a sharp pain shot through your neck as Peter's teeth came down hard around your shoulder, digging so deep into the flesh it was sure to draw blood and you felt your stomach churn at the way he moaned into the wound.
He came in long ropes inside of you, the full sensation having you following almost instantaneously, the parasite screaming at him to; 'FINISH THE JOB' — but he held back, instead leaning back to press a soft kiss to your bloodied shoulder.
You could barely move, though you just about managed to bend enough for Peter to place you gently under the covers, sliding in behind you and peppering kiss after kiss to your hairline, rubbing soothing circles into the blooming bruises across your neck.
Peter prayed you fell asleep soon enough to not hear him cry.
#peter parker#peter parker smut#venom symbiote#insomniac spider man#insomniac games#insomniac peter parker
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wc 885. grief. death.
grieving you was the most difficult thing tetsuro kuroo had ever done.
there were days where he found himself turning to his left when he thought of something funny, only to be met with aching silence and the whisper of a presence that is no longer to be. as he walked in the streets, his fingers twitched with the urge to reach out, but his conscious stopped the muscle memory from acting on itself under the recognition that your presence was nowhere to be seen. the warmth radiated from your being no longer enveloped him, no longer smothered him in the affection that came with basking in the light that was you. there was a dooming emptiness that followed him everywhere, nothingness that never had the capacity to speak up yet still embedding itself into his heart and expanding within until it was a hollow shell of something that once beat for you.
his skin shed the familiarity of your touch, the way soft hands had once cradled his face and smoothed over the ridges etched into him by years of being strong. he no longer felt strong. the composure had been torn from him the moment your eyes fell shut for good, as if you had desperately grasped to him yet only brought with you his ability to remain who he had thought he was to the other realm. the dips of your palms, those that had felt personally carved to slot against his bone structure, were a mess of lines and plush flesh that seeped so deep into his skin he could no longer recount it off the top of his head.
he remembered you. he promised himself he could do that, and he was always confident in his ability to memorize things. after all, you had been his most cherished subject. but there were days where it simply was not enough; the unfulfilled love he no longer had a place to deposit consuming him from the inside out. and although the steady rhythm of your heart was engraved into the song of his soul, it no longer beat, and that was agonizing. what had once been a melody of bliss and youth had turned to the blues, a soft tune telling the story of tears shed over a life meant to live, but left abandoned.
kuroo was always the shoulder to lean on, the rock in the midst of raging tides. but now he found himself collapsed on the floor of a bedroom you had shared long ago, chest constricting with a phantom pain and breaths rapid as if the oxygen was not enough to keep him going. his shoulders shook as the sobs racked through him, each one crawling up his throat more painful than the last. what was he supposed to do when his rock was the one that had been ripped out from under him — was the reason his soul had been corrupt at all? for once, he felt lost. the memory of your voice had begun to fade no matter how many times he replayed old videos, and he could no longer find it in himself to imagine you guiding him through it. every word twisted with the shudder of death, and each time he pictured your face there was a swirling darkness in the horizon that reached out to you and snatched you away all over again. a blade of grief had been punctured into the tender bits of his soul — or was it just that he could not bring himself to deny the very thing that had once held you, too? the cool metal had once relished in the sweet embrace of your warm blood and, no matter how far into the afterlife his dreams brought him, that was closer to you than he had ever been.
every bit of his being ached, bones worn and chipped. he still wore his signature grin every day — maybe to put up a front and maybe because he knew the way it brought your mood up seeing him happy — but he was growing increasingly exhausted with pretending his future had not shattered and cut his hands as he sought out the shards. that grin was pulled into a straight line now, lips parting with a cry far too often. no matter how hard he bit down on his cheek, they just could not stop. he felt empty and sorrowful, a cocktail of dizzying negativity, as though his soul was so distraught without you he did not even know how to grieve. this was not the way he wanted to figure out soulmates were real. if he was so intertwined with you, why was it that he was left here, wrapped up in someone that ceased to exist?
why was it that he was here and you no longer had the privilege? what made him worthy of life more than you were, and yet doomed to eternal suffering? why was he the one left tracing your face in tear stained polaroids as if somehow, memorizing you a little further could bring you back to you?
seeking did not always lead to gentle findings. no matter how much tetsuro sought out the euphoria of having you breathing, he would only ever be met with dusty recounting of the millisecond it stopped.
🏷️.- @sh0ot1ngst4r @azinniyaa @kashee-h @fiannee @bubybubsters @lizbix @mayyhaps @adoresia @gumims @cinnamxnangel @sickpatientt @aldebrana @cancelledkat @wizzzierr @jadeyaps
#kuroo tetsuro imagine#haikyuu kuroo tetsuro#tetsurou kuroo#tetsuro kuroo#kuroo x reader#kuroo tetsuro x reader#hq kuroo#kuroo testuro#haikyuu kuroo#kuroo tetsurou#kuroo tetsuro x you#kuroo x you#kuroo tetsuro fluff#kuroo tetsurou x you#kuroo tetsurō#kuroo tetsuro haikyuu#tetsuro kuroo x reader#tetsurou kuroo x reader#kurro tetsuro#haikyuu#haikyuu!!#hq#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu x you#haikyuu x y/n#haikyuu x gender neutral reader#haikyuu!! x you#haikyuu!! x reader#hq x you#hq x reader
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May I have this dance?
Sebastian Solace x Reader
"Surely, you must be joking."
"Quite the contrary."
He fiddled with the old gramophone, making a few final adjustments in order to get it to function properly once more. All the while he was casually holding his cigarette with his third hand, elegantly tapping the ash away when necessary.
Sebastian had amassed an impressive collection of vinyl records, arranging them according to his tastes. He had done so in a similar manner with his books and research files. You loved watching him sort out his inventory.
It was so unusually domestic, the mingling scents of coffee and cigarette smoke, the presence of warm blankets and pillows on the sofa he had hauled from an unspecified location in the vast facility. Undoubtedly from various loungers that the scientists would once find comfort in before the breach in security.
You cleared your throat, trying to get his attention once more.
"Seb, be realistic. We cannot dance together. I don't even know how to"
"I am certain the youth refers to this as a "skill issue" nowadays. Painter had discovered a whole thesaurus of modern slang, heaven help us all."
"I am not even going to comment this. My point still stands. Besides, you do not even have legs."
"What I do have is creative solutions to complex problems. We crush obstacles, do we not? Ah, there we go. Good as new."
He placed the needle on a record.
Music. Soft jazz, soothing yet playful, unpredictable in its rhythm, improvising, moving from whimsical and exciting tunes to the more melancholic melodies. In many ways, it conveyed Sebastian's own soul perfectly.
He offered his clawed hand, grinning and waiting for you to inevitably accept his offer. Reluctantly, you accepted.
His tail began to tap in a certain rhythm against the floor, as if setting the tempo you should follow along with the music. Confused, you saw his other two arms approach you, all three serving as if they were makeshift dance partners.
Before you knew it, he was making you move and sway as if you were a combination of a puppet on a string and a music box ballerina. He made you twirl, glide, turn, almost hypnotic.
At a certain point, he snapped his fingers, and suddenly the room was completely dark, save for the lone light of his esca.
"See? You do not need to know where to go or what to do, you are only to follow as I say. Trust me and you will never have to worry about anything ever again."
"Seb, I am tired."
"I am sure we can get a few more pirouettes out of you, pet."
"Well, at least I am getting free cardio training here."
You took deep breaths as your puppet master played with you, demanding yet gentle, firm yet rewarding you with tenderness when it was due. As you were about to collapse, he caught you, pulling you into his lap.
Soft kisses were placed on your head, cheeks and lips.
His body began to sway, akin to the ocean waves, his arms cradling you.
Sebastian was truly like the ocean itself, simultaneously a cooling haven that embraced you in your feverish nightmares and a cold unyielding tomb that one could not escape from. A devil is merely a fallen angel, after all.
You whispered, closing your eyes.
"What will become of us, Seb? We are playing in this illusion, knowing that all of this is ludicrous."
"We live on stolen time. Our old lives are forfeit and we can only move onward. We take, we scavenge, we defy probability itself."
"What are we to each other?"
He combed his fingers through your hair.
"Fleeting hope. The same type that a ghost feels in a house with new tenants, desperately wishing to be seen and heard once more. Even for a final time."
Hot tears ran down your cheeks.
"Hope is such a cruel thing, Seb."
He kissed each tear away, savouring your sorrow.
"We lie in the Abyss. This location defies physics itself, it rebels against every possible known law of water mechanics. So shall we. Doomed to fail, given to death, we shall rise once more, wearing the Reaper's cloak as our own."
#sebastian solace x you#sebastian solace x reader#sebastian solace roblox#sebastian pressure#sebastian solace#amary's chronicles
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Im sorry if you already answered something similar but does the twins ever reunite with Forneus in your au? If so how does it exactly work out, does Narinder, Anthea, and Forneus share custody?
Crimson Angel AU - The Situation between Forneus and the Twins
(Anon, @gerroacarnival and @xquaserh Putting all these asks in 1 cause oh boy this is a COMPLICATED question to answer oof. I wanna preface this that while I love Forneus just going by the characters personalities/themes of this AU the reunion is not as fairy-tale happy as it is in game)
Anyway-the boys do reunite with her technically, but not in the way Forneus dreamt. Reunions are good in theory, the long lost children reunite with their ‘real’ family, hug their mother, go ‘home’ with her, start life anew, but life isn’t so simple, now is it? It’s never that easy, not when one side clings to the memory of three day old infants and a reunion she'd dreamt of for so long it just became her expectation, and the other side has no memory and complex feelings on the whole matter with this slight feeling that perhaps while their mother loves the idea of them, she doesn't actually love them.
It's messy, complicated, and no matter what, will NEVER be the reunion Forneus wanted. The second they left her embrace, she lost the chance to be the mother she'd wanted to be for them, yet never realize till too late what else died with them.
(Putting this under the cut cause it's longgggg. The Twins and Forneus's story has so little in-game text that it's become this favorite thing of mine to interpret/expand)
The Two Parents
Forneus did and didn’t have a choice to give the boys up. When Shamura appeared, the newborn, extremely premature kits were already doomed to die, so the choice to either let them pass naturally or to allow War to take them as gifts with a potential of reunion was an either damned if she did or damned if she didn’t, situation. And in her grief and desperation, she chose the option that gave the potential for hope. She gave the twins to Shamura, accepted the golden skull, and waited. Waited for her babies to come home, waited as a mother who never really ever had a chance to be a mother-one who works off feelings but no experience.
Meanwhile when it came to Aym and Baal, Narinder never told them who their parent(s) were. How could he, when he himself had no certainty as to who they were? Though his 7th Vessel, Forneus, had left service specifically because of pregnancy, he had no means of tracking how much time had passed since when they first arrived (it could've been a century since for all he knew), nor any means to confirm without doubt that the black, newborn kittens were hers even once his next vessel gave him the date-he couldn't ask them to investigate something so personal and unrelated to their cause.
Their box held only their bodies, a spider-silk cloth which was their burial shroud, and a note penned in Shamura’s hand. ‘A Gift’ that’s all the note said. No names, no clues, no nothing. While Narinder had suspicions, he could not in good conscious tell the boys of a potential mother out of risk of being wrong-of getting their hopes up for a heroic parent only to be proved that it wasn’t her, or worse, told heroic tales just to learn they were abandoned all along. Vessel 7 was heroic yes, had a sense of justice yes, but during her service her luck had made her grow arrogant, had transformed flirting into a game of hearts and people into a way to get the upper hand-for all he knew, if they were hers, they could've all along been her means of trying to easily get out of vesselship. He just didn't know.
And thus Narinder raised them from there. He tried to use the title of ‘Master’ as a barrier in hopes that, if they did have a family awaiting them, he wouldn't take their place, (it was also out of guilt for being the reason they were trapped) but he also couldn't bring himself to fully shut them out either. The moment their dead bodies healed in the gate and they started to mewl for attention his unbeating heart bled for them, and he just couldn't deny them love because he knew how much it hurt to be without.
The Twins
As centuries passed Aym and Baal were content with Narinder as their 'Master'. He who told them stories of his time above, who taught them how to fight, who fashioned them clothes from whatever scraps of cloth he would get vessels to send-he was all they had and knew. When they felt the time to sleep it was in his paws they curled up, when they got hurt training or got bored it was from he they received comfort and attention. It was his magic which allowed them to age against the Gateway's stasis, it was he who saw their eyes open, watched as they learned to speak and walk.
But that’s not to say neither did think of whoever was left behind from time to time. Baal tried to keep hope that he and his brother were taken-stolen by the Bishops, with whatever parents they’d had having desperately tried to keep War away. Aym, meanwhile, only felt anger, bitterness and resentment, for who lets two three day old kits be taken and sacrificed? Narinder himself simply tried to keep neutral on the subject, not wanting to feed into either side in hopes that'd avoid a heartbreak or the smooth transition to their 'real' kin.
The Lamb
When the Lamb appears and starts to befriend them, it's then the boys suddenly find themselves feeling the same sense of security and comfort Narinder gives them towards Anthea. As the lamb brings them toys and books catered to their interests, teaches them to read, uses the crown to show them the world above and encourage their boundless curiosities. As nights suddenly see the lamb visit in their nightgown book and quilt in hand, letting the twins snuggle into their sides as the three are cradled against Narinder's chest while reading a book, and the boys fall asleep to a heartbeat for the first time. Narinder had always been stability and security, Anthea became tenderness and warmth.
Anthea teaches them what a 'Father' is as well, and the boys realize that's what their master actually is-he's their dad and tentatively start testing calling him as such, and while it's not until just before Silk Cradle they realize it (yet don't call them Baba yet) Anthea's long on their way to feeling like a parent too.
Which then begs the question…what of the parent(s) left behind?
First Contact
Baal still wants to meet them, he's always been curious and just wants to know who they are, while Aym is still angry and wants nothing to do with them. They got a parent in their master, and Anthea's their friend and practically a parent too, so why bother with the ones who abandoned them? Narinder overhears the boys debate over it more and more, and as Anchordeep’s door opens, Narinder hesitantly asks the Lamb for a favor.
He’d heard rumors of a shopkeep she-cat who wore a golden skull, and Anthea had been the first to confirm that cat's name was Forneus. He’d never asked a vessel to do such a thing before, mainly out of not feeling close enough to ever ask such a personal, unrelated to the Bishops, task, but he wants to give the boys closure, and Anthea would happily do anything to help the kits. And thus they're sent out, and in a bit of a side quest work their way to getting Forneus to sit down and just...talk.
She explains her side of what happened, how the boys were born too soon, how she had really no choice, breaks down, and as the cats had been listening in and Aym who's now uncertain feels bad, and he requests Narinder for permission to speak.
“Save your tears for when we meet” is what he says, and that’s all that’s said through the crown.
For Aym it’s an olive branch-he’s sorta gotten an answer as to why he and his brother were sacrificed, though he's not entirely sure how to feel since well...she still gave them up, but she looks sorry so... Baal's eager and happy to hear that they were cared about but is a little disappointed at realizing that she didn't really hesitate despite the situation, but regardless, both are willing to give her a chance. They want to get to know her, and then they'll decide how they feel after that.
They, do not, see her as a proper 'Mother'. Just someone who shares their blood who they want to meet. To then Narinder's still Dad-he's still the one who makes them feel secure.
Meanwhile for Forneus it’s proof that she’ll get what was promised. Her boys are not only alive, but they’re children-they’re still children, so she'll now get what she wanted and more. They'll reunite and she'll then take her children home to travel by her side-she’ll get to raise her dear little babies just as she’d planned, and while it took so long it's going to be perfect.
She's dreamt of the boys seeing and running into her oncoming embrace crying. That they'll love her instantly and had already because she's their mother so of course that's how they'll feel. How could they not? Children ALWAYS love their parents.
The Lamb promises to help her meet them once they’re free, and every visit after, Forneus tries to get the boys to talk again-offers gifts for the lamb to bring to the Gateway, rambles on about all the things they'll do together while the Lamb browses her shop. And...well they're things, at least. Most of the toys she offers are either baby toys or things that just don't interest the boys, and some of her plans are...plans. They're elaborate-taking them to X mountain, to X landmark, traveling here and there and everywhere. Big and grand and...and never mentioning their Dad or Anthea being there.
Baal thinks it's sweet how excited she is while Aym is getting more and more unsure-but even Baal eventually admits that she's a little...loud. Forneus is loud-she's energetic and eager and while he and Aym can be too, seeing it from a stranger about them is...weird. She keeps calling herself their Mama , and calling them Zamir and Delshad despite being told otherwise because apparently those were their names (a fact not even Shamura had been given. Narinder had to name the boys himself). She keeps talking about those three days they were with her, and it kinda feels like she loves the babies she gave up and not them.
Anthea tries to tell her about them, but she usually doesn't realzie since she's busy talking to her babies and not them, it's as if the lamb isn't even there. The boys can't even try to think of trying to talk-she never leaves an opening for them to try. Eventually the boys ask Narinder to mute the crown during the Lamb's shop visits the more uncomfortable it gets.
It's like going to a family reunion and being brought to your great Aunt who last saw you as an infant at your christening. She insists on kissing your face and hugging you tight and going oh how big you've grown sweetiepie and this and that and...and you put up with it because she's family but...well she's a stranger despite the shared blood. She doesn't actually know the you of now-and you don't know her.
Reunion
When the final Bishop falls is when Forneus suddenly finds herself left in the dark. For 6 months she sees hide nor hair of the Lamb, and gradually gets worried because where are her sons? The Bishops are dead, why hasn't she been given back her babies?
(The Lamb had been avoiding her cart during crusades out of both grief and guilt-Aym's dying word of calling them 'Baba'...it broke something in them, made them realize just how much the boys had meant. They had a shattered heart and endless guilt, and having to face Forneus and explain she'd never meet her sons? It'd been too much as a grieving parent themself)
The twins were revived after 4 months but Anthea only finally approached Forneus after 6, and she was too relived to finally hear she could meet them to bother asking what'd happened. Anthea invited her to come to the cult that weekend, and Forneus happily accepted, not even noticing the tiredness in the Lamb's eyes nor the uncertainty in their tone. Even on the day she arrived at the cult, she didn't mind the lamb, not even as Anthea gave her a final warning.
"There was trouble setting them free…they’re wary, skittish, they’ve been through a lot... I know you’re excited but please be gentle when you speak to them, be calm and keep your distance please they’re so easy to startle."
Meanwhile the boys waited at the temple with Narinder, who, for the hundredth time, asked if they were certain they were ready for this. Though it'd been 2 months, the toll of dying so traumatically via turning to ash, of being trapped in the gateway, the trauma of resurrection, the fear of being alone without their parents because that's what he and Anthea were to them, Narinder had wanted them to wait as did Anthea. The boys could hardly sleep without at least one of them there with them in bed, were just starting to be ok interacting with other people, could only handle the touch of a select few and even then sometimes would just break down into panic attacks out of seemingly nowhere. They weren't ok, but the boys had insisted. This woman who claimed to love them had been kept in the dark for so long, they felt bad and wanted to try.
They felt guilty for not being ok. Even as Narinder and Anthea repeatedly and gently reminded them that it was alright-that their feelings were valid, that they could take all the time they needed and they'd be right there to support them, the boys had insisted and they just couldn't deny them their choice.
But once Forneus arrived no one got the chance to even properly introduce the boys to her-she just saw them, ran towards them for the reunion she dreamt up, swept them into her arms, and next thing she knew she had two yowling, struggling kits trying to break from her hold. In her excitement and in not listening to Anthea's warnings she'd done the worst thing anyone could've done-she was louder, bigger, stronger, scarier than them, and as the kids managed to shock her into dropping them suddenly Baal was hyperventilating, and Aym was working himself into a panic attack. And Narinder and Anthea, having two months practice in calming them like this, and having long been the twin's safe people, immediately fell into place. Narinder got Baal, Anthea got Aym, and Forneus could only watch.
Could only watch as Baal started gasping for Dad as Narinder tried to get him to breathe, as Aym started sobbing for Baba and practically tried to bury himself in their embrace, as her babies looked at her in fear and clung to someone else.
And then all she can feel is anger. She'd waited 300 years-those boys were hers. Why are they clinging to someone else?
From there it just becomes a mess, she gets into a very loud, very heated argument with Narinder especially for 'stealing' her sons which just scares the boys more, and in a very poor move tries to just grab one of them which prompts Anthea to use a show of godly power and threaten her to get out of the Cult which she does since a crowd has also formed (the Cult was ALL aware of the twin's poor mental state, and they'd all grown very protective of the community's first children despite having to keep their distance because by gods those kids deserved more than what fate had given them).
Forneus leaves angry, and Narinder and Anthea now got two kits who had been tentatively healing temporarily back at square one, and who are now gonna start having nightmares of a stranger taking them away on top of preexisting ones.
I wanna note that Forneus isn't a bad person. She isn't, but she's also not used to things not going her way. As a vessel she was 'Lady Luck', she who rarely died, who always had the upper hand, who would pop curse shots at the Goddess of Famine for fun and be the heartbreaker of her own cult able to flirt and tease and talk her way to whatever she wished. She's kind and cheerful and charismatic sure and she genuinely does want to help people and do the right thing, but there's still this...ignorance, arrogance-that she doesn't even realize is there.
Like how above in Starfall Part 1 she VERY casually mentions how she 'knows what it's like missing her own twins' and 'how 'hard' it must be for Anthea to have nothing of their family to remember them by', but the thing is...she doesn't know. She's so hooked on this idea that she WILL get her boys back that she completely has just ignored the grief that comes with loss entirely this whole time. The way she misses her sons is NOTHING like how Anthea misses their brothers-she misses them like a relative you haven't seen in awhile but will see soon. Anthea misses their brothers because they're DEAD and they know that they will NEVER see the two again, especially now. Like Forneus has not considered how she's lost a LOT of moments with her children. They're still kids yeah but they're not returning to her as blank slates-though physically and mentally 11 they've been with Narinder for over 300 years, that's a lot of time to be without her. She loves them, but kinda more-so the sons she thought she'd get back.
Thus when you've been envisioning this 'perfect' reunion the entire time only for it to not go your way...it's a hard pill to swallow. She gets disappointed/angry understandably-anyone would, but instead of stepping back and realizing she can't fault the boy's feelings she takes it out of the ones who 'took' her place instead, which then turns her into this loud scary bad-guy to the boys.
And Aym and Baal aren't to blame in this situation, like they're kids, and like with my 'great aunt who last saw you as a baby' analogy, it's not their fault they don't immediately love her. She's a stranger-one whom, the more she tried to force interactions via the crown during their imprisonment, seemed to have little interest in them personally and more in whatever children she assumed she'd be getting back. And after that disaster of a first meeting? They don't want anything to do with her she scared them that much.
As for Narinder and Anthea they both feel awful because they understand why Forneus is angry, she only gave them up because she was promised a chance for reunion (though she ignored the CHANCE part of that), but in the same breath Aym and Baal are their sons and they'll take their side first over anyone else's. And the thing is there's nothing that could've been done on their part to prevent this really either.
Anthea telling Forneus the twins had died? Anger, grief, then upon their revival a fierce insistence for the boys to NEVER go near the Lamb or Narinder again, which the twins would've been just as terrified and against.
Narinder not showing care to the kits for those 300 years? They would've gotten attached to him anyway since he was literally all they had, though they might've turned out worse emotionally because of neglect
Telling the boys to wait longer to meet Forneus? She likely would've just shown up on her own within another month anyway since by that point Anthea had just freed Heket from Purgatory and word was starting to get around about the new God of Death so this would've happened but worse.
The only way Forneus could've had the reunion she'd wanted would have been if Narinder never forced the twins to start aging against the stasis. But then there would be two 300+ year old infants, which is a whole other can of worms.
Notes/Explaination
Again I love Forneus in-game she's so adorable and my one of my favorite NPCs to visit, but I also like making imperfect characters, especially parents and their relationships with their children. And while I love the idea of her being this wonderful, sweet, amazing mother, I also like the idea of her being really flawed about it to.
Crimson Angel is about learning to communicate with your loved ones, and in this case, it needs to be her looking at things from the twins view and realizing that if they don't want her in their lives, she has to accept that. She needs to realize that she's not entitled to their love just because she gave birth to them. She also has to let go of the sons she gave up that day-those three day old infants who were perfect little blank slates, and get to know the boys they became without her. She has to realize someone else took her place in their hearts, and realize that if she wants to join them, she HAS to let the boys come to her, and that she has to work on THEIR terms.
She cannot try and force a love if she wants a chance for it at all, and must swallow her pride and listen to others who know the boys better-Anthea and Narinder, alongside the boys themselves.
She'll get a relationship with the boys eventually, but it's not going to be the one she hoped for. She's gotta work on herself first and realize her flaws, maybe get some practice with handling children via unintentionally adopting a certain fan-favorite grave spider kid after finding him all alone, and just...wait. Narinder and Anthea are the twin's primary parents, and while Forneus does eventually get to a place where they're comfortable with her, it's never going to be on the same level, and they all just gotta contend with that.
Boarders are by @/lambouillet
#I love tragic stories can't you tell? Also stories that explorer the relationship between parents and kids-cause a lot of times kids agency#in the relationship is often ignored/taken for granted-they shouldn't be expected to love someone because of blood alone#*beats characters emotions to a pulp* it's for character development I swear!#crimson angel au#cotl#ask#cotl shamura#cotl narinder#cotl aym#cotl baal#crimson angel au lore#cotl forneus#cult of the lamb#my writing
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LULLABY FOR A BROKEN HEART


pairing: Leon Kennedy x Gn reader.
summary: After a mission, Leon musters up the courage to ask for one thing he's always wanted.
warnings: hurt/comfort, a bit of angst, fluff, Leon is touch starved, no consumption of alcohol but there are mentions of it, injuries, mentions of trauma.
word count: 2.1k
author's note: Hello! So... I had prepared some dad leon headcanons but after reading DI manga latest chapter... I knew I had to write something about it. I wrote this with a platonic relationship in mind but you can also see it as an established relationship! I just wanted an excuse to write about Leon because he is literally an angel ueueueue. He deserves the world.
masterlist

With heavy and wobbly steps, Leon’s blurry vision—from the lack of sleep— could make out the frame of your door, your apartment’s door. A part of him knows that he may be a burden—or that’s what he believes. Fatality, sorrow, and overall bad outcomes are the only things his mind can register.
He doesn’t want to bother you. Hell, he doesn’t want to speak to anyone right now. The fact that he somehow made it safely to your front door was enough for him to know that you would be so angry at him. You shouldn’t drive after a mission. You shouldn’t—... let yourself die. He knows all those phrases by heart.
He’s getting better. He’s a lot better, to be honest. He no longer drinks, but he may as well look drunk right now. His head was hurting like hell, but he blamed it on his mission. He’s getting too old for that shit. But, a healthy improvement doesn’t mean that he can’t fall.
Recovery isn’t a straight line of betterment. There are nights when he can sleep like a baby. But then again, some days, he goes to sleep knowing that a nightmare may attack his dreams.
His fist bangs against your door, at first trying to be quiet. But after a few seconds, some desperation came within his knocking, and a louder sound filled the already silent night.
The melancholic feeling of being alone lasts a couple of seconds before he hears some steps inside your home, those get even closer until he sees the door opening. The sight he admires before him is far from comforting. The eyebags under your eyes, your disheveled hair, and the quiet yawn that escapes your lips say it all, you were sleeping.
At first, you don’t say anything, letting the silence in the air fill the lack of response from both parts. Yours and Leon’s, two souls that are aching right now but for different reasons.
Leon, who is hurting because he doesn’t want you to see him like this. And yours because you’d give him the world just for him to stop blaming himself. Ironic, but in reality you’re two sides of the same coin.
Amidst the countless things you want to tell Leon, you step aside allowing him to enter your apartment. The one he knows as his cozy getaway. His second home. The first one is your mere existence.
Physical things last no more than a few weeks, months, or years. Everything is doomed to cease existing. He has witnessed it through the years he has worked as an agent. Those gigantic and marvelous houses politicians love to brag about? A bomb would destroy them. That motorcycle he loves? Yeah, that one…. No more than a few pieces remained.
But the simple fact that you were alive and breathing meant so much. He wasn’t a stranger to death. He knows that he has become desensitized to those topics as much as he denies it. But even if someone were to die, their proof that they belonged to this world would live in those who loved them, those who were close to them.
And that’s why you’re his home. The kind of home that served as a refuge when life got too much, when life stopped basking him with its sunlights but rather sent him a blizzard. Your presence was enough for him because you granted him the affection he has long forgotten he could have.
As he enters your apartment, the normalcy and everydayness of the living room embrace him like a thick and warm blanket. The usual smell of your scented candlelight also brings him back to the reality where he could feel safe.
He’s alone for a while, you let him sit on your couch even though he might stain it with the dirt on his pants and whole body. You don’t exactly care, you can clean it after.
His eyes are unfocused as he waits for you to come back. At that moment, the memories of his last mission came to his mind. They don’t haunt him like they used to do in the past, where he decided to stop the voices from getting louder by drowning in alcohol.
Now, they replay in his mind like a Deja Vu, like a movie he was the main star in. However, it doesn’t mean they stop stabbing his heart knowing that he had taken lives.
He used to be a religious person. Right now if someone asks him if he follows a certain God, he would respond with a simple no. But when he sees the bodies of those whom he had to kill, he would offer a silent prayer, asking whoever hears him that their souls could rest in peace.
Leon kills, but he’s also a lover of life. He loves the world and its people. He wants to believe that he'd be reminded as the one who fought for those who couldn’t, even if he didn’t want to be associated with that type of job.
In his mind, it may sound corny but he has started appreciating the simple things in life. The way someone would smile at him in the supermarket, the way a random stranger would greet him even though they don’t know him. It was a nice reminder that he was, in fact, alive.
Your steps break the silence—once again. In your hands, there’s a first aid kit.
There’s a certain urgency in the way you sit next to him to treat his wounds. Your eyes never leave him as you try to make sure that nothing is hurting him. Even when he has awoken you from your sweet dreams, you’re the same caring and compassionate person as always.
An alcohol swab touches one cut he had on his temple, a bruise already forming on the skin. Proof that his head was literally slammed against a metal tube. Not his proudest moment, if he had to be honest.
“I’m not going to break, you know…” Leon finally speaks as your hand seems to slightly shake out of fear of bringing more pain to him.
You manage to let out a chuckle at his words. “I know. But I’m not taking risks.”
His eyes continue to remain fixated on your face, like a puppy who is looking at a treat. But rather, he’s like a homeless man admiring one of the prettiest houses he has ever seen.
There are no questions asked, nor complaints about anything related to his late-night visit. He appreciates the fact that he’s welcomed no matter what. Nonetheless, he can’t help but thank you for your hospitality.
“Thank you.” He murmurs as you clean another injury that was just above his eyebrow. “You’re too good for me.” Leon's words show a moment of raw sincerity.
Leon’s humanity is palpable, even when he doesn’t notice it. There’s a childlike glimmer in his eyes when he watches his favorite movies, a hint of regret when he talks about his missions, and a big sense of empathy when he speaks about the victims who died at his hands.
Leon’s kindness knows no limits. And you wish everyone could observe what an amazing human he is.
“Why is that?” You asked, scooting closer to hear him better. To pay full attention to what he’s about to say. There’s nothing Leon loves more than knowing he can really talk with someone about his feelings since he has mastered the art of closing off.
“For this…” He admits as his hands gesture your first aid kit, to your apartment as a whole. “I’m not used to being… pampered like this. I get hurt and I fix myself up.” His expression darkens slightly.
“Well… I’m here, aren’t I?” You give Leon a warm smile before pinching one of his cheeks making sure not to touch any of his cuts. “You don’t have to be alone all the time, Leon. You can rely on me.”
Leon’s lips turn into a shy smile as you pinch his cheek. “Yeah, I know.” He’s grateful for your hospitality and overall care. But it’s hard for someone who has always been in solitude to think that it’s okay to rely on someone, that it’s okay to need a person.
He’s silent for a moment before asking a question that’s been nagging him for a while now. “But… Don’t you get tired of it? Of taking care of me?”
You instantly shake your head, responding with a blunt “Nope, never.” In fact, you would be awake all night long just to make sure he was alright.
“You’re a God’s sent… I swear.” He chuckles as his gaze moves towards his own hands which are fidgeting. As if he was looking for something to grab, to hold onto.
He hesitates for a few seconds, he doesn’t want to overstep boundaries but then again… He’s not used to being touched let alone hugged. But right now… he craves feeling the tender and intimate affection that a hug brings.
When was the last time he was touched? He doesn’t remember. The sole thought of admitting it’s been months if not years that he hasn’t been hugged brings embarrassment to his already troubled mind.
You notice, you know Leon a little too well. You recognize every little quirk he has, from the way he sometimes sticks out his tongue when he’s focused on something to the way he looks at everyone before delivering a punchline.
But you wait for him, you want him to be comfortable.
As a sigh leaves his lips, he finally speaks. “Can you hug me?” His words come out hushed, as if ashamed of himself for asking something so… banal, so simple. “I really need it.”
The way he speaks, the way his voice suddenly cracks and the way his fingers twitch even more tell you enough.
“Come here.” You encourage him, opening your arms. He wastes no time getting himself closer and wrapping his arms around you. The kindness that you’re showing him could bring him to tears, but he doesn’t let them fall. Right now, he just wants to be embraced.
He was bigger than you, being an agent built his body to be ready to fight, to kill. Of course his muscles would basically bury your frame as he curls himself into the hug. But funnily enough, he feels like a kitten that found solace on a rainy day. He feels getting even smaller and almost disappearing from the catastrophes of this world.
He could easily rest his head on your shoulder. But instead, he decides to bury his face in the crook of your neck, feeling even more at ease in this peaceful moment. Closing his eyes, he lets the warmth of your body soothe his aching soul.
He always takes care of everyone, his mind and soul are connected to people he may as well never see again. He feels too much, he feels everything. Nevertheless, there are times when he wants to be the one being doted on, to feel safe.
And right now… he is safe.
“You may think I’m stupid…” His words are muffled as his face is pressed into your neck, his stubble ever so slightly brushing against your skin.
“I sometimes think you’re stupid.” You tease him, trying to bring some humor to the situation as you sense that Leon is starting to doubt himself. Your arms hug him closer, tighter. Letting him know that you aren’t going anywhere. “But right now… I think you’re the most amazing person ever.”
Leon doesn’t say anything for the moment. His breathing is steady and calm, drowning in your so familiar scent. His fingers caress the back of your head, touching your hair reminding himself that you were there, as if the hug wasn’t enough.
“You’re the most selfless person I’ve ever known.” You murmur, pressing a kiss on the top of his head. “You fight so much, you’re so important to many people. You don’t even know how much I thank life for having a Leon Kennedy next to me.”
Your words break his heart a little. Not because you said something wrong, not at all. But rather… he can’t imagine how his existence could bring happiness to someone. Chris, Rebecca, hell everyone has helped him a lot. But you are like an anchor which he clings to.
“Don’t feed a stray dog…” He tries joking, but his voice is barely a whisper. You’re used to his jokes. Most of the time, they are harmless and light-hearted. However, sometimes they served to hide what he was truly feeling. “They’ll always come back.”
“I don’t want you to come back…” You respond. letting your hand rub his back. “I want you to stay.”
And Leon is definitely going to stay, he’s going to stay with you and with everyone else. He will fight off every bioweapon, he will succeed in every mission. Just to come back to his home and to his life. A life he’s learning to love and enjoy.
#leon kennedy x reader#leon kennedy x you#leon kennedy fluff#leon kennedy#leon s kennedy#resident evil
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i'd stay, cancel my flights, change everything just to be in your life
word count: 11.3k
summary: parallel lines holding hands, side by side til the end of time
"You're leaving?" You raise a brow, watching as Leon, sweet 21-year-old Leon, pulls his suitcases to the door with all the boxes of his things.
"I have to." He frowns. "You won't move to Raccoon with me, and it's—"
"Landlines cost a fortune to use. I know." You close your eyes. "Will you write to me?"
"I can try." He doesn't dare to look you in the eye. You know he doesn't want to leave. He knows he shouldn't just break up with you like this. Is this the end of your relationship? All because the two of you refuse to do things to stay together? Is this selfishness... or is it something else? Did Leon ever really truly love you?
"Trying is too much. If we're truly meant to be, may we cross paths in the future once more." You hum. "I'll help you move the boxes."
"Will you visit?"
"Depends if you invite me." You crack only the lightest of jokes, boxes put into the back of his car as he closes the trunk with a thud, fiddling with his fingers as he looks at you.
"I guess this is goodbye?"
"May our paths cross again." You hold your hand out, and Leon pulls you in instead, arms wrapped around your waist as he squeezes, heart racing painfully against his chest.
He doesn't like that he has to make this decision.
"I'll see you again, I promise." He mumbles.
You watch Leon Kennedy drive into the sunset, stuck staring from your place in the suburbs as his car eventually loses itself in the light. You wonder if that is a sign of something. Is it possible to blind yourself from the light? Is it dooming to force oneself into the sun? May his wings not burn off, you decide. No matter how far, you hope that he will be kept safe. That is all that matters to you. And when he is inevitably too close to the sun one day, may the embrace of the stars catch him and hold him close. The sun is a star, after all.
Yet, the sun gives warmth to life, and when you're stuck staring at the two lines on the test, you think the sun has burned you for getting too close.
You only ever receive one letter from Leon the entire time the two of you are apart.
Signed two days after his new beginning, delivered five days after the destruction of Raccoon City, you are given all of the details of what had occurred during the time that Leon had been in that place.
Don't come find me, as I no longer hope our paths cross ever again
Heed my words, LSK
You decide to do what Leon knew you did best. The story of Raccoon City is turned into a bestseller, people crowding to read more about what your mind could conjure about the mystery of Raccoon City on the news, desperate to get some sort of twisted release. You do not heed Leon's words. You do not answer to the desperate public. Instead, you disappear after the release of the novel. You're sure that Leon's more than happy to see you disappear from the public as he had instructed you to do so. You would become a thorn in his side— or something. You're not quite sure. Do you care all that much? You wish you could say no. You know nothing more than the fact that Leon survived. However, from the fact that he knew so much, you can only assume that he ended up working somewhere in the twisted political system. Perhaps not politics... perhaps government.
Your daughter is born, a sweet girl that you decide should take your last name instead of his. It is a curse, that last name of his. His sweet girl should not have to deal with everything that comes with being of his blood. Your sweet girl belongs to you rather than to him. She will be raised and loved and cherished until she knows that it is not worth it to throw your life away simply because you have fallen in love with someone. She will be the new light in your life, and you will choose to bring joy to her life to the best of your ability.
When you catch Leon at 27 on the news after saving the president's daughter from Spain, you do not feel anything.
You hope not to feel something. Are you supposed to feel something? Is there anything left to feel for a man who has not been part of your life for over 6 years? It would be pathetic to mourn over what could have been. It is truly not your problem. You do not get the luxury of being in his life anymore. Perhaps, he did not want the luxury of being in yours. "I no longer hope our paths cross ever again." Are you supposed to just move on? Leon, the man that you are.
Your daughter asks you how work was when you pick her up from elementary school, and you tell her that you had caught a government agent returning home after a particularly hard mission. She asks you if you have a story to tell her, so you tell her the story of how you met Leon, his youth and yours entwined as you promised to stay together until the stars in the sky burned out, but you don't tell her that it was her dad. You tell her that it was a story you heard from a friend because you would rather bear the guilt of lying to her than let her know that her parents were cowards — that you were a coward.
At 28, you catch a glance of Leon in the window of a coffee shop in the capital, eyes meeting his for a second before he turns away first and decides that you are not worth the time.
It hurts more than you'd like to admit.
Instead, you continue on your way to your interview, wondering if you should just ditch now that you are aware that your blind guess had been correct. Leon Scott Kennedy was in the capital of the country, and you would be stuck in the vicinity of him at all times if you took the job. Though, you really can't pass up on such good pay. What right do you have to complain if you receive a pay far better than anything else? Who are you in a capitalistic system that will inevitably drive you to ruin one day?
You wonder why there are so many rhetorical questions that spin in your mind.
Yet, you stay in the capital because you know it is better to move on face to face than to mull over the shadow of what it could have been.
What use is a hypothetical in the face of reality?
Besides, it mattered more than you had a child to feed.
When Leon is 35 (you're still counting), the two of you meet at a press conference. You stare at him and he stares at you, and the two of you exchange a nod before you both go your own ways. You are here to help someone just as he is — only in different ways. Leon is to serve with his body, and you are to serve with your mind. What difference does it make if you both are serving someone in the end? What difference does it make if it's the body or the mind? Can you truly say that the two of you are different at all?
You wonder if Leon is truly healing when he looks so distraught over something. Perhaps he's busy with whatever the government is tasking him with. If he's by the president's side, then surely he's someone of higher ranking now. You think it's been a long time since you've seen his face properly. Age has wrecked through his body, fine lines in the corners of his eyes and lips, facial hair so much more defined than when you had first met him. Time is ticking, yet you are stuck in place.
Your daughter moves quickly, high school starting as she gets to tell everyone that her mom is a major journalist, at the frontier of covering big issues regarding the rumors that spread around. She treats you like her hero, and for the first time in a while, you let out a sigh in relief that makes your whole body relax. It is as if the tension that you would accidentally let the frustration of raising her alone ruin her life has finally been lifted from your shoulders. You will be alright. No matter how much the two of you would fight, you will be fine because you have survived for so long and you will continue to.
At 38, you watch Leon return after a mission abroad with the rest of the press, staring at the bandages on his cheek, watching as he passes you with a glance, movements never stopping once. You are stuck in place, you think. You are moving at the same pace as Leon when you could be running ahead, and it will inevitably come back to destroy you. What use is there in matching someone's pace when they do not think of you? Are you stuck in place? Will you be stuck here forever? You thought moving to the capital could change things, yet you are back where you began.
The world is moving too fast for you to keep up.
At least someone grounds you.
One day, your flip phone becomes a smartphone, and your cents charged for the landline become a monthly phone plan that you pay at the beginning of the month with your rent and just about everything else. The world is moving on, so why are you stuck in place? Maybe it was you who needed to be caught in the stars and not Leon. Who will catch the moon when it collapses from the sky? What chasing is there if the moon will never see the sun?
What does it take to break a cycle of destruction?
Not much, apparently.
When Leon himself is banging at your door at the crack of midnight, you know better than to open the door, but you do it anyway. If you are to die, then you might as well let it be at his hands.
"I'm sorry." He's gasping for air, on his knees.
Leon Kennedy, a grown man in his forties, kneeling at your open front door.
You wonder if you should just cut it right here.
"Do I—"
"You don't need to." He heaves, breathing heavy as he dares not to look at you. "I'm sorry."
You stare down at him, and you wonder if this is the universe's way of apologizing to you.
"You can crash the couch. If you leave tomorrow morning, then I'll take all of this as a mistake you're making while drunk." You let him in, and you know he'll be gone in the morning.
Leon was not one to go against his own words.
Yet, in the morning, you find yourself staring at Leon as he serves you breakfast, terrified of talking to you or something. It makes you raise a brow, but you thank him as you start on breakfast. He wants to say something. You wonder if he hasn't changed at all since you've last seen him. Maybe somewhere deep down, he's still that rookie who had his first day in a zombie-infested city.
"I really am sorry."
"There's no way you're deciding this now." You don't bother looking at him, sitting down as he hands you a plate of food for breakfast instead. Always an action. Always an act of service in order to remind you that he loves you instead of speaking up. You wonder if you're the one being stubborn in that case. Maybe the reason your relationship went downhill was all because of you. It is always you, you find.
Yet, despite all odds, your daughter is in college now.
"I heard you have a daughter." He laughs dryly, leaning against the kitchen marble as you raise a brow at him.
"Yes. I do."
You stare at Leon as he sucks in a breath, and you refuse to tell him. Even if he asks, you will lie through your teeth to make sure that the wound in your relationship would be severed. You do not understand why he still insists on checking in on you, but as you start eating, you do not complain. If he wishes to drag your severed limbs through the mud, then let him do so. If he would have to exist in your life only to wound you over and over again, then let him do so. If you should exist only to be hurt back because you had hurt him first, then let it be so.
"Is she mine?"
You stare at Leon, and then shake your head.
"Who's the... father?"
"Hookup. I forgot to take the morning after pill." You start at the breakfast, humming quietly as Leon stares at you apprehensively. "You didn't burn the bacon this time."
"That was once." He points.
Yet, you finish the food, watching as Leon still lingers. He stays. You don't know what prompts him to stay, and quite frankly, you're too scared to ask how he managed to get your address, but you keep quiet. You do not want to know. You should not want to know. You aren't someone in his life anymore, so does it really matter if you know or not. Maybe you should let your daughter know that her biological father has decided to crash at your apartment door at two am on a Monday all in the name of apologizing. You're sure that she'd be disappointed after you had told her to never take a man back unless he groveled.
"Why are you really here?" You stare up at Leon as he slides you a mug of tea, and he sighs.
"Wanted to know if Leona was mine. She..."
"Don't delude yourself." You press the mug to your lips, and Leon exhales.
"Do you want the truth?"
"Should've started with that."
"You're on a wanted list of potential conspiracy theorists."
"What the hell?"
"Leaking government secrets... or something. That book you published."
"Ah." You mumble. "All over the book?"
"Too accurate of a retelling. The government didn't cover up the nuking, but they did cover up the zombies, so—"
"So they think I somehow am convincing the masses with the book that there were zombies."
"It's a national security concern."
"Which involves you? I thought the CIA covered that."
"I asked the president personally to be put on the case... didn't wanna fly international again. Also, it was you." He swallows slowly.
"So, if I get caught, you go down with the ship too, huh?" You laugh dryly, sliding him the half of breakfast you didn't touch. "You need to eat too."
You wonder if it mirrors all the times that Leon had been too tired after a day of drills to even respond to you when the two of you had been together, but even then, he had threaded his fingers between yours, telling you to sleep well before he headed off to bed himself. Age or PTSD? You can not imagine the trauma that goes into shaping Leon into who you see before you now. The blonde he used to dye his hair has faded out into a darker color — damaged hair making it a lighter brown rather than the one you had been used to when you first met him. Are you overstepping your boundaries? Is he overstepping your boundaries? You can not tell.
"Old habits die hard, huh?"
"It's been nearly twenty years." You mumble. "They shouldn't be habits anymore."
"Trust me. Some of them are just embedded into your soul." He glances at the door as it rattles, and you pinch the bridge of your nose.
"I'm home." Your daughter, Leona, pauses when she notices the man in the kitchen. "Who's this?"
"Leon Kennedy." You don't give her any more details beyond that, exhaustion written all over your face enough to tell her to save the question for another time. "How was the trip?"
"It was fun. I'll show you photos after I unpack. Hi, Mr. Kennedy."
Leon nods in response.
"Of course, baby. Did you eat yet?"
"I had a bagel in the morning, but I'll need lunch. Did the stuff in the fridge go bad?"
"No. I'll make lunch for us today."
"Thank you, ma."
You smile, waving as she tugs her luggage with her into her room.
"She's the spitting image of me." Leon stares down at you, brows furrowed. "How can she not be mine? Everything matches up."
"I cheated on you with a blonde man with blue eyes before you moved, or something." You half-ass it, standing up as you close your eyes and watch him eat. "What's next? I go to the town hall? I turn myself into the CIA?"
"No, I just need to monitor you regularly. That's it. You've been inactive in terms of writing for years. They just want me to keep you in check." He hums. "They moved me in next door. Let me know if you need anything."
"For how long?"
"Only a couple of months." He nods. "Can I meet Leona sometime?"
You glance at her open door, wondering if you should treat this a little more seriously.
"Make us lunch."
"Hm?"
"Lunch. We can talk about this over lunch. Dinner is too formal." You sigh. "Are you trying to be back in her life?"
"So she is mine." He mumbles. "I had a daughter all this time and you never bothered to tell me?"
"Didn't feel necessary. It would have stirred up too much press. Can you imagine me yelling at you that you have a daughter? The government would go insane. Now, answer my question. Are you trying to involve yourself in her life, or do you just want to introduce yourself to her?"
"You'll let me co-parent her?"
"Leon Scott Kennedy." You seethe. "Answer the fucking question."
"I don't know, but I think introducing myself would be a good start."
You pinch the bridge of your nose. "Shakshuka for brunch."
"Shakshuka?"
"We have the ingredients for it. You're on cooking duty. I trust that you haven't just been living off of store-bought food this whole time."
"No, I picked up cooking recently." He looks up a recipe on his phone, searching for the ingredients in your pantry as you knock on your daughter's door.
"Hm?"
"Leon will join us for brunch. Is that alright?"
"It's fine, ma." She smiles. "I have an idea on what's going to come out just... based off of his face."
"It wasn't to hurt you."
"I know." She nods. "I'll mull over it later when my insomnia hits, but I'll mull over it. I know you didn't do it to hurt me."
You glance at the souvenir she's decided to bring back and raise a brow. "Is that a mug?"
"Isn't it cute?" She grins. "Found it at a local potter's place while there."
"It is." You take it from her, tilting it to get a good look at the colors as she starts explaining the rest of her little trinkets.
"This one's for you." She hands you a mug that looks the same, and you raise a brow at the design.
"XOXO Gossip girl?" You raise a brow. "My coworkers are going to love this."
"Did you call off work today?"
"Yeah. Leon crashed last night, and I told the team that I wasn't able to make it."
"PTO?"
"PTO." You hum. "Thank you for the mug, baby. Did you see anything fun?"
"Met the president's daughter."
"On the trip?"
"Yeah. Our sorority was introducing ex-members, and she was one of them. She brought up how I reminded her of the dude who saved her that one time she got kidnapped... said we shared a name too."
"Ah, is that how?"
"Felt like a strange coincidence more than anything." She places her two bags of trinkets on her desk, and she hands you her mug. "Did you name me after him?"
"Partially. I just wanted you to be brave like your name." You listen to the way that the kitchen hood turns off. "Brunch is ready."
"How long did you date?"
"I'll tell you that after I've had my first glass." You hum. "I need one if you're going to ask me all of these questions."
Leona laughs, lips curled upwards as you take her out with you. She's taller than you, yet she is still your baby. Your sweet child whom you adored so much has grown up so much. The spitting image of her father that you had grown to be thankful for rather than get haunted by in the narrative. Your sweet daughter that you adored.
"Brunch is— oh, you both are already here. Your mother requested shakshuka."
"Oh... it's been all over my Tiktok lately." Your daughter mumbles.
"And I saw some bread, so I toasted some slices." Leon nods. "I figured I should introduce myself. I'm Leon—"
"My father." Your daughter is curt, nodding as Leon takes her hand. "Nice to finally know who you are."
"Trust me, had I known earlier, I would have come running. Your mother is insanely good at keeping secrets."
"Yes, ma has always been like that." Your daughter sits back down to start eating. "What do you work in?"
"Government."
"Like administrative or politics?"
"Security."
"Like FBI or internet?"
"I'd say it's closer to FBI, though, we don't do the same missions. I've been protecting the president lately."
"So like... bodyguard."
"Something like that."
You plate your daughter's food first and then Leon's, and yours last. You watch as your daughter makes small talk with him, surprisingly unbothered by the sudden intrusion of her biological father in her life, getting to know him over brunch. Though, you know your daughter better than anyone. She's not getting to know Leon, she's just making small talk so that Leon lets his guard down around her. You can't say you blame her. It's hard to accept a man who's been missing all of your life as soon as he comes back.
Your daughter turns to you as you hand her the plate. "Can I drink?"
"Careful, Leon can arrest you for that." You bite into your slice of toast, giving her no other answer.
"You let her drink?"
"It's safer to know what her tolerance is than to have her find out on her own. The answer is no, though. Not today, at least. Maybe when Leon isn't here."
"Tough luck, I'll be here pretty often from now on."
"What?" Your daughter raises a brow at you, and you give her a look that can only mean you'll tell her later.
"There won't be a later." Leon hums.
"If you write this in the report I'm going to burn you alive." You grumble. "Mom's under suspicion from the government because of a book I published years ago. A fiction book."
Your daughter raises a brow, and realization strikes her.
"Oh my god, it was true?"
"Leon wrote all of it in a letter to me." You hum. "And yes, it's what Leon does."
"You eradicate zombies? Like The Walking Dead?"
"Well, not as dramatic—" He pauses. "Alright. Sometimes it gets that dramatic, but it's nothing super big. They're moreso mutated biological weapons than zombies—"
"You fight bioweapons for a living. That's huge." Your daughter mumbles. "Do you know the biology behind it all? What are the—"
"Even if I did, I wouldn't be able to tell you. The government would suspect you next."
Your daughter huffs, going back to her egg instead.
"Are you in college? What are you majoring in?"
"Biology. I'm specializing in bioweapons"
"What."
You hold back the laugh that threatens to break onto your face, eating quietly as you watch Leon blink at your daughter twice.
"Biological weapons?"
"More specifically, I study gene mutation. I study how they come to be."
Leon turns to look at you, and you shrug. "Her choice. Whether she uses it for good or bad ultimately depends on her."
"They teach that?"
"GWU does." Your daughter shrugs. "Can I continue unpacking?"
"Of course, baby." You nod. "I'll keep chatting with Leon."
"Thank you for brunch." She nods, heading off.
"You're letting her study something that dangerous?"
"It's not dangerous unless she decides it is." You wipe your mouth, staring at the last egg. "What am I expected to do?"
"Not much." Leon hums. "I just need to report your day-to-day."
"Alright. I'm gonna rot on the couch all day, so you'll have nothing much to do. Is this your job for the next couple of months?"
"Don't worry, you'll have me all—"
"If you say another word, I'm going to shoot myself."
Leon laughs in response.
You find that having Leon around isn't the end of the world. You still exist in your day-to-day life, Leon hanging around your apartment while you're at work and your daughter is in class, and it makes for an interesting icebreaker when people ask how your weekend went. (It isn't "my ex moved next door to me", no, it's "a government agent paid me a visit over the weekend"). Yet, life goes on, and you find that despite your brooding over how the end of the world was coming because Leon had slipped back into your life, it's very much not the case. If anything, Leon sort of just exists in your life.
At the very least, someone cooks for both you and your daughter when you return home.
"What's the menu tonight?" You raise a brow, your daughter coming in after you as she kicks off her slippers.
"Beef stew."
"I'm surprised he knows how to season his food."
You hold back a laugh, sliding your heels off as Leon feigns a look of offense. Your daughter peels her tablet out, settling on the couch as you sit next to her, yawning.
"How was work?"
"Leon, stop acting like we're married." You grumble.
"Yeah, but you like coming home to a home-cooked meal, no?"
"Caught red-handed." You put both your hands up, watching as your daughter does some sort of witchery with her ochem homework. You don't wish it upon anyone, ever. Though, the idea of Leon trying to figure it out does amuse you just a little bit. You decide a short nap would work in your favor, telling the two to wake you up when dinner is ready, eyes closing as your daughter tells you good night.
Good night means you wake up at two am in bed, Leon knocked out on the couch, and just about a hundred question marks floating over your head. You glance at the pot of stew that sits in the fridge and a smaller bowl portioned out for you, and you jump in your skin when you hear Leon move.
"Awake?"
"Yeah." You reach for a can of beer, cracking it open as you sit back on the couch. "Why are you still here?"
"I was going to take you to bed, but I remembered you don't like your outside clothes on in your bed. I can't change you anymore since... yeah." He pauses at the beer. "Drinking on an empty stomach isn't going to feel so good in the morning."
"Wow, how kind of you."
Leon has not forgotten you. You're made aware of that at the very least, eyes still full of a sincerity and warmth that you had grown used to decades ago. It makes you sick to the stomach that you had such an effect on him despite the two of you ending on good terms. It was not good terms. It was surface-level good terms, but both of you had secretly wished the other would say something about sticking together. Both of you are cowards, now that you think about it. He probably would have stayed had you let him know that you were pregnant, but you didn't wish to hold him back. Maybe it was selfish of you.
Yet, you do not regret all that you have done for your daughter.
"I never moved on." Leon speaks slowly, light in the living room dim as you raise a brow at him. "I... I thought about you all these years, and—"
"If you're staying back to tell me all of this useless stuff, I don't see a point in you staying back."
"You're not ready for this conversation?"
"Leon," You glare at him. "This isn't a conversation we should be having at all. Our feelings mean nothing now. You're here to monitor me casually, nothing else. Imagine if the government found out that you were being so lacking on the job."
You watch as Leon's voice gets caught in his throat.
"We're too old for this."
"We aren't." He tries.
"We are." You leave it at that, shaking your bottle as you realize it's half empty. "Leon, we're in our forties and both have jobs—"
"You can't just say shit like that to hurt me!"
"Keep your voice down. Leona's a light sleeper." You grumble. "It's fine. Let's just end it at that."
Leon stays quiet, and the look behind his eyes tells you more than enough that he wants to continue the conversation, but he learns to keep quiet. It feels the same as before. It was always petty squabbles that could be fixed the morning after once you've cooled down, but you don't want to. It's a conversation you refuse to have with Leon. It's a conversation that's been rotting in the display case of your heart — something you refuse to let go of all because it would feel foreign. You're selfish, you find. You used to care for Leon's heart as your own, but the rotting has consumed your heart and mind. Maybe you will only hurt him if you stay close.
"Morning." Leon hands you your cup of tea and your daughter her flask of water, waving to her as she rushes off for her 8am.
"Morning." You press the mug to your lips.
"Ready to talk about it?"
"I told you the conversation was over." You hum, turning to stare at the clock. "I have work in an hour and a half."
"We should get breakfast by your workplace."
"Sure, mister bodyguard." You mumble. "Didn't feel like cooking?"
"You need to diffuse."
"I'm very good at separating personal life and my work life." You hum. "You're paying."
"Yeah, yeah." He grabs his jacket from the rack as you hit the button to lock the door, clicking on your phone as you start the security system.
"You driving?"
"I'd have to pick you up from work, no?"
"Leon... I take public transport to work. Leona uses the car."
"Oh." He pauses. "... I have a bike?"
You raise a brow.
When Leon said bike, you were expecting more of a... bike bike rather than a motorbike, and as Leon steps on the gas and you're chanting quiet prayers in your mind to stay alive, something feels all too foreign yet familiar. Leon wanted to get a motorbike when the two of you had first started dating years ago, so to be able to see Leon have his own and drive safely was interesting. You are watching him grow. He has changed in little parts of his life. It is comforting to know that the pace you had been matching was moving at the very least. Perhaps you can not see how far you've come if no one can show you how far you've gone.
"Ugh, my hair." You huff, fixing your hair as Leon pays for parking.
"Is this a date?"
"If you somehow remember my order." You brush at the loose strands, following behind Leon as he guides you around the uneven pavement. You wonder if you'll bump into someone you know. It's a popular brunch place even for government workers. You follow Leon in, blinking as somehow a table clears up and the two of you are seated. It makes you raise a brow, but you don't think too much, looking at your emails as he orders for the two of you. You wonder how much of you he does remember.
When one of your coworkers comes up and asks you who you're with, you glance at Leon and tell the guy that it's your neighbor. He was plenty of trouble already, and as Leon raises a brow at the man that only means trouble, you worry for the poor guy's health. Leon's going to decimate this guy, even if it's unintentional. You can only hope he doesn't go around telling everyone you're hooking up with your ex again. Though, it's not like they knew you had an ex. You could play everything off. Perhaps this was the curse of working in journalism with men whose temper breaks at the slightest aggravation.
"If you're just neighbors, then this should be fine, right? What, you won't date me because your daughter's still young? She's an adult now. You should be honored that—"
"Hey, man, I wouldn't go that way if I was you." Leon raises a brow at the man, and your coworker raises a brow.
"Shut it, neighbor."
"The father of her child begs to differ."
That's all it takes to shut up your coworker, his face red as he storms off, and you grin into your palm, eyes meeting Leon's as he hums.
"Didn't even need to pull out the badge."
"Now, that would have been a power move." You thank the waiter as the food comes and eat. "You keep it on you?"
"Required at all times. It's helpful when out, definitely." He glances at the food. "Will you have leftovers?"
"Definitely. Can you take them back for me?"
"Of course."
When you arrive at the company, you're bombarded with questions — unsurprising considering everyone here is an investigative journalist of some kind, and you wave all of them off. You don't want to talk about it. He is the father of your daughter. That's all. He's not someone you're allowed to love anymore, and you should leave it at that. It won't just take a handful of months for him to somehow get you back. It would have to take more than that. No one pries further when they notice you refuse to budge. Perhaps time would tell.
When you return, you note your daughter's text about staying over at a friend's place and step home.
"Where's Leona?"
"Out with her best friend." You hum. "House is just me for the week. Don't try anything funny, though."
"Do you still have the old photobook?"
"Of before we broke up?" You raise a brow, pulling out another can from the fridge.
"Can I get one?" He thanks you as he catches it, nodding to your question.
"Yeah. It's somewhere in the study's cardboard boxes. Why?"
"Wanted to look over them."
"Well, haven't you grown sentimental?" You crack open the bottle, holding it out to clink bottles with him, pressing the drink to your lips as you hum.
"Maybe I just miss you."
"I'm right here."
"Sometimes I worry you aren't."
You laugh in response, brows knitting and resembling a sneer, but it isn't malicious. It's the same smile that Leon knew you put on when you were annoyed that someone had read you like an open book. It wasn't fair. Leon hadn't moved either, and the two of you had been stuck matching pacing in life only to stay exactly where the two of you had started. It wasn't fair. It was never fair. Were you stuck where you began all because you had been fixated on your past? Unfair. It was unfair.
Leon stares at the can in his hand, sighing.
"What's wrong now?"
"I should have looked for you earlier." He mumbles, grimacing at the taste of the alcohol on his tongue. "I should have known."
"I didn't expect you to."
"You had been nauseous the days leading up to my departure."
"And? I kept her from you."
"It was not your fault. I left you with no way to contact me." He mumbles. "I should've... worried about her instead of someone else."
"It's not your fault. You didn't start the outbreak, and you didn't choose to join the government."
"How did you know that?" He turns to look at you, and you hum. "Despite our cutting news, we also take bribes. One of the first archival information I was given was that you had been forced into your position because of your stellar behavior in Raccoon City. They threatened you with that other girl.,, Sherry, was it?"
Leon grimaces. "I ended up seeing her so little because of my position."
"It wasn't your fault." You tap the rim of the can, blinking slowly as Leon meets eyes with you.
"You haunt my world."
"Good to know." You swallow slowly, staring at Leon as he meets eyes with you. You wonder if he's actually drunk or just taking the opportunity to be honest with you. Regardless, you appreciate the attempted honesty. Shall you bait him? Tear your soul bare all for him to look at you and touch your heart all over again? Shall you present yourself bare to the bone to Leon so he could feel that you were finally being honest with him? How unkind of you — to think that way.
"Leon, did you love me?"
"I don't think love could even begin to describe how much I adored you." He runs his hand through his hair, laughing as he takes another drink. "I couldn't sleep without you for months after I left."
"Really?" You think back to all the nights you had woken up in need to empty out your stomach, grimacing at the memory. "But you moved on, no?"
"Hm?" Leon turns to look at you completely now, eyes going half-lidded as you get the idea. "No, sweetheart. I never did."
"I guess those shitty bedroom eyes you give me when you want something hasn't either. Couch is all yours. I'm locking the door tonight."
"I love you." Leon manages, swallowing as he stumbles out of the chair, reaching for your wrist as he ends up on his knees again. "Fuck, I'd rather die than live without you again. I'm already here begging for you — what, what else do I need to do? I'll—"
"Leon." You stare down at him, brows furrowed as you seem to remember this scene all too well. "We're both adults with jobs—"
"With a daughter." He swallows. "We're parents too, you know? We're also our own people. Why do you keep stopping me from making choices to put you first?"
"You work for the government. As much as I despise it, you keep all of us safe." You mumble. "Let's talk in the morning if you remember anything about this conversation at all."
"I'm not drunk." He mumbles, and you drag him back to the ouch, helping him get comfortable as you stare down at his closed eyes.
You've hurt the two of you more than enough, you think.
You check your daughter's location, fingers clicking on your keyboard as you wonder if you should take a trip out too. It had been a while since you've actually taken paid vacations and not sick days. You wonder if you'd get your ass kicked if you just decided to take PTO off a day in advance, but considering the lack of news going around lately, it wouldn't be impossible.
A break. You need a break to collect yourself.
So, you leave Leon a note, refusing to diffuse too quickly out of a fear that you'll snap, and you call the head office right first thing in the morning to let them know that you'll be taking two weeks off for personal reasons. You assure them anything left to you will be handed in on time, just... you wouldn't be able to make it to the office. It's not PTO, the more that you think about it. You're really just working remotely.
You leave in the morning with a suitcase, ticket booked for the middle of nowhere. Anywhere but home, you decide. It is not that home is where your belongings are. Your home is where your heart is, and for a long, long time, it has been with Leon. You can not recall a moment in which he hasn't been the place your heart was, but you wonder if it was possible that at some point, your heart had just shattered and broke in your chest instead of staying with him.
You step out onto the sunny beach houses of your company's private island given as a bribe and think you're in utter bliss. Though, the story that would have sold was worth a couple million dollars, you guess. You don't care at that point. It had been a long time since you had last taken a while off for the sake of your body. You draft things to discuss when you get back. You're sure Leon will probably find you somehow, but it really isn't your problem. Until you're nice and warm from the inside out under the sun, it is not something you'll care about.
You should probably have a talk with Leona once the two of you return as well.
Your days on vacation are nice, sand in your toes and drink in your hand as you abuse company privileges, checking your phone to like your daughter's photos as she sends you updates about her day. You're glad Leon doesn't have your number (though you're sure that he could get it if he really wanted it). You trust that he lacks in nothing when it comes to stalking you down.
Which is inevitably true when Leon finds himself on the same island, texting Ashley a thanks as he steps up to your beach chair, covering you from the sun as you stare up.
"Took you long enough."
"Still haven't changed that awful habit of yours, huh? Running away when you need to have a conversation?" He takes a step back, taking a seat on the beach chair next to you.
"It took you a while this time."
"Yeah, well, it isn't exactly the small town bar we used to visit, no? I can't believe your third place has become a private island only certain government workers can get into."
"Yeah, but you're here, no?" You sit up, taking your sunglasses off. "Let's talk."
"I'm sorry."
"I still don't understand why you're apologizing if there's nothing to apologize for."
"I feel guilty that I left."
"We weren't in a place where we could decide where we wanted to go." You pause. "The child would have slowed you down. Leona's great, but if I told you that you had a daughter, you would have left everything behind just to return. I did not want to tear that away from you."
"I—"
"You couldn't have raised a child with your job." You hum. "I don't despise you for it."
"And then? Did you love me at all? You never let me decide what I wanted and didn't want to do." He grimaces. "I would've put you two first. You know that. I loved you even while I should not have. You should know better than anyone that I would have been hung up over you. You can not replace my first love in my heart and then not tell me about Leona."
"It's unfortunate I did, then."
"I... still love you." He mumbles. "It's fine if it's not mutual, but please don't cut me out of your life again. Let me make the choices this time. We're both at an age where we can."
You finally look at Leon, and you sigh. "I won't stop you, but do not expect anything back from me."
"I won't."
You wonder if you should fear getting used to being taken care of by Leon. You play cards with him by the pool, drink with him at the bar, lie with him under the warm sun, and you wonder if you've gone back in time for a moment. Is this it? Is that it? Is that all there is to this? Is all it took a sincere apology from him? You feel like you should apologize as well, but there's just something stuck in your throat whenever you try and bring it up.
"Hey, Leon, did you ever hate me?" You glance at the wine in your glass, and Leon raises a brow from the hotel room. You wonder when the two of you had become close enough to share a room again. Is this some weird form of being roommates? You're too old for this, you think. You're far too old to be having a moment like this.
"No. Well, I was hurt when you told me to leave, but I never hated you." He hums.
"Good, since I feel like I still owe you an apology and all that." You mumble. "Sorry for forcing choices upon you. I just... I always feel like you can do better."
"Oh, honey, you are better." He mumbles, raising a brow at you from his bed as you frown.
"Sure, but I'm still sorry for being a terrible person." You mutter. "I can't guarantee anything from your efforts, but I appreciate you a lot."
Leon raises a brow at your words, but he doesn't speak up.
"Anyways. Maybe I'm just some control freak who needs to know everything that's going on like some maniac." You tuck your legs under your chin, staring out at the ocean as Leon seems to remember something. You don't know what, but you feel too vulnerable to find out, opting to stay in place and blink instead. The waves crash against the sand gently, and even when the lights are turned off and you're stuck in bed, you wonder if something's wrong. There's always something wrong.
You step out of the room, stepping on the beach as you wrap the robe around you tighter. The waves are higher now, and as you dip your feet in the cold water, you wonder what it'd be like to float off into the distance. Right. right. No, you have a daughter who would ruin her life in order to fix yours. You wonder how you managed to raise her to be the way she is without a father in the house. Maybe you sold your soul in order to do that.
The waves eat at your ankles, night breeze rustling your hair, goosebumps snaking up your calves as you continue staring into the distance. You don't know. You wonder if you could just keep playing stupid and not knowing. It had worked until Leon stumbled back into your life. Well, stumbled would be the wrong word. He kind of... crashed into your life again. You still wonder if his mission was truly a mission. He was always the type to make harmless jokes when it came to you.
It probably isn't. You saw him working on his laptop before you tucked yourself in.
"You're up." Leon's voice emerges from behind you, and you take a step back to turn.
"Yes." You hum.
"Couldn't sleep?"
"No." You close your eyes as the wind blows again.
"What's wrong?"
"A lot." You mumble. "Though, not much of it is my choice. I'm wondering if I can just go back to playing stupid."
"You should see a therapist." Leon cracks a smile. "Mine's pretty good."
"No wonder you've changed so much." You sport the same smile, stepping out of the water back into the sand. "Let's go back."
"Will you be able to sleep?"
"Time will tell."
You aren't able to, but at the very least you catch three hours of rest before you emerge from bed with bedhead you hadn't seen since your youth. Leon laughs as he brings you breakfast, and you sigh, raking your hands through your hair.
"How's Leona?"
"I think she went to Amsterdam or something."
"How are you sustaining her lifestyle?"
"I know this is hard to believe, but our company actually pays a livable wage for all of us since we know too much. The government has compensation for our work too. We're basically entangled with the government at this point."
"And you don't pay for your life?"
"No bad sides. I don't know which senators and people of the cabinet decided to bomb the city. I just know it was bombed. It's why you received such a vague order."
Leon puts your breakfast down by your legs.
"Thank you." You hum. "How'd you sleep?"
The look on Leon's face implies something along the lines of getting the best rest in a while.
"That's good." You start at breakfast, staring at the lower tides before glancing at Leon. "Did we ever go on a beach date? I forgot."
"Us and what beach? We were landlocked."
"True, huh." You think to yourself, eating absentmindedly as Leon changes in the bathroom. You glance at the robe on yourself, and you wonder if you should just go naked or something. No, you'd probably get sniped or something. Shorts it is.
You place the tray on the table as you finish, wiping your mouth when Leon steps out of the bathroom.
"Wowwwww..." You grin. "Stay in shape, Agent Kennedy?"
"Government-mandated." He chuckles. "When do you go back?"
"In like, two days. You gonna catch a flight back with me?"
"How else am I going to get back?"
"Not sure." You hum. "Maybe swimming?"
"On an island in the middle of the Atlantic? Tough luck." He hums.
Leon settles back into your life after that. You wonder if this would categorize as co-parenting or being roommates, but you don't put a label to anything. It's not worth the time and effort. The PTO was good for your soul, but you return to being a corporate slave in the end anyway. Only, you wish Leon would stop stirring up more trouble when picking you up downstairs at your office each day. Would it kill him to be a little more secretive? Well, not like you told him about it. You used to like it when he did that while dating.
"You got me flowers?" You raise a brow, taking them from him as he nods.
"How was work?"
"It was fine. If you think this is all it takes to win me back, though? Not happening." You glance at the flowers. "Though, thank you for the flowers."
You're sure your coworkers are going insane over this. You don't know how long you had been single when most of your coworkers had gotten married and hitched. It really wasn't something on your mind after having Leona. So, for you to be going through the whole courtship thing again from Leon was a little strange. Well, not that you mind being pampered.
"Are you driving us home?" You raise a brow.
"I promise not to crash." He shows you the car keys, and you sigh. Well, if you die, you die.
You yawn as you get on behind him, arms wrapping around his waist as he takes you home. You wonder if Leona's home by now. She's probably unpacking again. You're not really surprised when you get home and she has her stuff sprawled out in the living room. Well, as long as it's not hurting anyone.
"What's this?" You pick up a keychain with a rabbit. "Miffy?"
"Miffy! The Dutch rabbit that Japan loves." Your daughter hums. "Isn't she cute?"
"Yes, she is." You hum. "Should I..."
"Don't check my credit card statement, please." She mumbles. "I've made some bad decisions."
"As long as you can pay it off." Your brows furrow as you contemplate. "Yeah, as long as you won't end up in debt."
She gives you a thumbs up. "You can have the one you picked up. There should be another one in blue for Leon."
"You got him something?"
"Appreciate it." He picks up the keychain, glancing at the doll. "The agents are about to have a field day when they see this keychain."
"Too out of character?"
"No, last time I had a keychain was in Spain." He hums. "I ended up giving it to Ashley."
"She still uses it." Leona speaks up. "I was out with her this time."
"When the hell did you get so close to the ex-president's daughter?"
"When I went on my sorority trip. She liked me a lot since I look so much like Leon."
"When are you going to start calling me dad?"
"Never." Leona deadpans. "You've been missing all my life. Don't push your luck."
Leon pouts, squeezing the keychain gently to calm himself.
"Yeah, she flew me over. She's great. Saw her texting Leon on the trip, though. You wanna explain that?"
"I was looking for your mom." Leon hums.
"Oh, the flowers." You remember, kicking your shoes off as you rest them on the counter.
"Yeah, I told her you're my biological dad and she told me about some agent you were flirting with in Spain."
"Not a government agent." He clears up. "She's someone I met in Raccoon City."
"Kissed?"
He grimaces as your daughter takes it as a yes. "If you cheat on mom, I'm going to ruin your life."
"How?"
"You'd be surprised how many senator's children go to my uni. Stay keen, and don't be an ass."
Leon settles into a schedule of picking you up after work, a different trinket in hand each time he picks you up, and you always take it, placing it in a box in the living room, the three of you eating together for dinner. You wonder if Leona has ever considered having a dad. Maybe she gave up a long time ago when you explained to her that her dad was someone in your past. Well, that statement sure came to bite you in the ass. He's not so much of someone in the past now, is he? You wonder if Leona would have something to say if you were to start with Leon again.
Yet, you don't tell her what happened on the island for the time being, her busy with her studies before the start of summer. So, instead of calling her and keeping her up, you let her tend to her own watching as she grumbled over all-nighters and classwork that wasn't ending. Despite her running around for her break, she wasn't gonna be able to run from her finals.
"Can you lobby so my professors get fired and I have no exam?"
"Tough luck, baby." You laugh. "I'm not in that line of business."
"I am, though." Leon hums. "Who do you need gone?"
"Leon." You warn. "No."
"His name's—"
You sigh as the two of them get into hypotheticals about taking out her professor with a sniper rifle, and you wonder where Leona had learned all of that. Though, from the stuff you had seen on the shared desktop before she got her own laptop, you think you know. It's whatever... it was probably from Twitter or one of her fanfictions. You wonder if the unrestricted internet access as a teenager was worth it — well, not your problem. She's gotten off boyfriend-free and kid-free so it's fine. There are worse things that could happen.
You wonder how much more help Leon could have been when she was going through that fic writing phase of her in middle school. You're sure all that knowledge of weapons could have helped her a lot. Well, not that you mind it anymore. It's nice to see the two of them get along. She is her father's daughter, after all. It makes you wonder if this could have happened under different circumstances. Well, what point is there in moping over a universe that isn't yours?
"What's for dinner?"
"I made a reservation for a place." Leon hums. "It's pretty basic so you wouldn't need to dress up."
"Well, if anything, you'd be the one who needs to dress up." You raise a brow at Leon as he glances at the two of you, nodding slowly.
"It's just a family restaurant that gets busy around this time." He stares at his t-shirt and jeans.
"You know, Leon." Leona raises a brow. "I'm sure you don't just wear this while on duty. What do you wear normally?"
"It depends on the occasion. Most of the time it's a suit."
"Government agents in suits is crazy." You mumble. "And when you're out on a mission?"
"It's typically some sort of body armor and a compression shirt with cargo pants and combat boots."
"What brand does the government use?"
"There's a variety of suppliers, but the material stays the same. We aren't just sponsored by one."
"Democracy, or something." You hum. "What time is dinner?"
You wonder if Leona has ever entertained the idea of having a dad in her life. She had been adamant about letting you know as a teenager that she didn't care if she had no dad as long as you wouldn't disappear or just die, but you had a feeling that she had just lied at the time to make you feel better. Well, she had grown up without a dad, so it wasn't super surprising that she had ever wondered what it would feel like to have one. You wonder if you should have just dated, but there was no way you'd be able to with such a young child. Maybe you shouldn't have—
"Whatcha thinkin' bout?"
You space back in, striking the hammer one last time as the tent is set up properly. The insulation is set up thanks to Leona, and you start the grill outside in the camping zone. The stars are starting to show, and the moon sits high in the sky as you grill the meat. Leona refreshes for her grades, chewing on her bottom lip as you serve her dinner. She only lets out a sigh in relief when her grades all come back as normal.
"You alright?"
"My GPA will live." She huffs. "Thanks for dinner."
"Of course."
"It's been a while since we've done this." Leona stares up at the stars in the forest as you crack open a can of beer for the two of you. "Is this about Leon?"
"You don't need to call him that." You hum. "I thought I'd get your opinion. I'm your mom just as much as I am my own person."
"I'm fine with it." Leona hums. "You've... I don't know. You've grown softer since he's joined us. Ugh, I'm not good at this like you are."
You laugh, adjusting the blanket on her as you turn to face her.
"You won't be mad?"
"No. It'd be... nice to experience having a dad. officially. I can't lie and say I've never once wondered what it's like to have a dad." Leona huffs. "Though, please let me punch him at least once when he officially asks you out."
"In the face?"
"I might break my fist, but hey, at least I broke his nose."
You wonder what universe you saved in a past life to deserve a daughter like this. Though, not that you complain of it. Leona lets out a sigh in relief when her grades come out unscathed, and you press the can to your lips as she catches you up on what was going on. Sorority drama sounds like a lot to you, but Leona handles it all just fine. She likes it there, and while the people around her have their flaws, you're glad she can see past most of them. At least she knows how to stay sane.
You can tell Leon's trying. He spends less time on his laptop at night, typing less and less details on your day-to-day life before it completely is voided, and when you try and ask, he tells you the mission is over. You wonder if that means he'll go back to his work clothes. Yet, for some reason he stays in the apartment next door, taking you to work each morning as he insists it's "on the way" (it's not). He always takes you back with flowers, your coworkers getting unbearable to a certain degree as they pry into your day-to-day life. You tell them that he's just trying to court you.
"Water," Leon hands Leona her bottle as she waves goodbye, handing you your bag as you follow after her while doing your hair. You stare at the mirror by the door, smoothing it out as you blink at Leon's crooked tie.
"Tie." You don't think, fingers sliding under Leon's tie as you unravel it, tying it properly as he holds his breath, daring not to move as your fingers smooth over the clothes, patting his chest as you turn back around you make sure your hair is fine. Leon tries to calm his racing heart as the two of you step into his car, his heart beating so hard he's sure he could throw up on command. Intimate. Too intimate. You can feel it too. The last time you had done that was when the two of you were young. Much younger. The racing heart makes Leon think that the two of you really haven't changed all that much.
"Have fun at work."
"Thank you." You step out of the car, waving as Leon watches you enter the building before driving off.
You calm your racing heart, ears ringing all the way to your floor as you exhale. Habit. You hadn't done it for Leon in such a long time, but the familiarity of reaching for his crooked tie and fixing it was like second nature to you. Maybe you haven't changed. Maybe neither of you changed, and at the rate that things were going, you think it's fine that neither of you has outpaced the other. The two of you are parallel lines, holding hands all the way as the two of you move through life. It's fine. You're fine. You'll be fine.
Leon picks you up after work like he always does. You stare out the window the whole time, silence pooling in the car as you think. You think too much while you think less and less these days. What are you doing here? Why are you here? Is the only thing stopping you from dating him your own flaws? Why are you letting them get in the way when you could be peeling back your skin and laying bare to him? He won't hurt you, you know that much.
You know what comes next. You have the feeling, you always do. You know that at one point Leon's going to try and confess to you, and you wonder if he could possibly outdo himself from last time. You wonder if he'll show up with flowers and a teddy bear to your apartment like he did the first time. You wonder if you could skip the formality and just confess to him first. It would be funny and catch him off guard, you think. When you spot your favorite for dinner, you think you will.
"Leona's gonna have dinner with friends." You sit down, thanking him as he hands you a plate.
"I know. She texted."
"Mhm." You wait for him to sit down before eating, lips curled upwards as you grin. "Leon, will you go out with me again?"
He's caught off guard, fumbling with his fork as he blinks at you. "Pardon?"
"Will you go out with me again? I have a lot of flaws, but—"
"Yes! Yes. Oh, my god. Yes." Leon blurts. "I was supposed to confess first, my god. I feel like this is our first date all over again— I'm still in love with you despite everything, and I'm begging you for the chance to date you again on a clean slate. This time, we both make our own decisions without regrets, and we talk it out when we have disputes. This time, I won't leave no matter what, and if I need to leave, I bring you with me. Please go out with me— I will kneel and beg."
"There has got to be a better way to say that." You laugh, watching as Leon slides out of his seat to grab something behind the counter for you. "And if I say no?"
"I imitate the meme that Ashley's been sending me with the text messages and fall on my knees and beg."
"Sounds really tempting..." You tap your chin. Leon grabs your hands, frowning at you gently as you reach up instinctually to smooth out the crease between his brows. "I was kidding. Please treat me well."
"I'll make sure you never need to think again." He mumbles, pressing your fingers to his lips as you hum. "Please accept the flowers."
"Will you get me flowers once a week?"
"I'll make sure you never have to lift a finger to do housework. I'll retire for you."
"Are you really sure you'll be allowed to do that?"
"As long as the president orders it." He mumbles. "I'll just say I can't work anymore and fake a doctor's order."
You laugh, raising a brow. "You'll do that for me?"
"And much more." He mumbles, lowering his head into your lap. "As long as you give me the chance."
"Then be sure to hold on."
"Forever and ever, always."
The door to the apartment clicks open, and Leona stares at the second bouquet on the living room table.
"Ma?"
You nod.
"Leon, how sturdy are you?" Leona raises a brow, tossing her backpack to the side and ditching her jacket.
"I'm mostly muscle. Why?"
"Leona's gonna swing at you, give her a second." You take a step back with the flowers, Leona winding up her arm as Leon blinks. "No, you're not allowed to dodge. Think of it as playful fighting. It's to welcome you into the family."
"Please be gentle. I've seen your arm muscles, and there's a high chance it'll bruise or kill me." Leon clenches his jaw, wincing as Leona lands a hit on his cheek, sound making the two of you blink. Leon rubs his jaw, laughing as he winces.
"Sorry, dad. Had to do it." She grins, shaking her hand as the words punch Leon a second time.
"Say that again."
"Hm? Sorry?"
"No, you called me dad."
You hide behind the flowers as you laugh, watching as Leon grabs Leona by the shoulders and beams.
"Say it again."
"Alright, old man. You're pushing your luck now." She rolls her eyes, kicking her shoes off and falling back onto the couch to escape his grasp. "We've got plenty of time. Also, you're paying for my tuition now."
"Oh my god, I'm a dad."
You squat to the ground as you laugh, back shaking as Leon stands there, dazed.
Leona takes the chance to slip away, and as the living room fills with your laughter, you think it'll be fine.
#leon kennedy#leon kennedy x reader#leon s kennedy x reader#reader insert#resident evil#☾.fics#y'all ever want smth out of the drafts so bad you start dying (me)
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Need some fluff with Sophia. Like maybe y/n and her are baking or cooking together just having a nice quiet moment in their apartment. Maybe it can get a lil suggestive too who knows I’ll let you take the wheel :)
a/n - This took a while, but I WAS SO EXCITED! My first request, HELLO? Here you go, and thanks for requesting, anon! This is far from nice and quiet moment but-
The Sweetest Mess
Between you and Sophia, both of you know she's the better cook and baker. But just like many others, TikTok got into your head, making you believe it was finally your time to shine and showcase your hidden talent. Hence, what led to a messy kitchen, a face smeared with flour, and enough evidence to prove that your surprise plan had officially failed. And the timing couldn't have been worse when Sophia walked into the house right as the mixer went crazy. Truth be told, she was indeed surprised.
"Y/N? ARE YOU OKAY?" Sophia screamed while rushing into the kitchen, only to find her beloved girlfriend fighting for her life, desperately trying to yank the mixer's plug out. Thankfully, she won the battle.
Y/N knew she was doomed. The plan was to surprise Sophia with a simple Oreo cake recipe she had saved from TikTok, not to nearly burn their kitchen down.
"This is not what it looks like," Y/N said quickly, trying to save herself from the dark-haired beauty, who was anything but pleased to see her kitchen looking less like a kitchen and more like a crime scene.
Letting out a sigh, Sophia stepped closer. "Explain."
"I know how much you love Oreos, the cookies, so I tried making an Oreo cake based on a TikTok recipe. Everything was fine, but then the mixer went crazy, and suddenly the kitchen ended up like this." Y/N explained quickly, her voice wavering. Her eyes glistened with unshed tears. She knew Sophia had a long day, and the least she could've done was prepare a cake for her, not make her day worse.
Sophia softened. The surprise may have failed, but knowing how disappointed the love of her life was, she pulled Y/N into a warm embrace, whispering, "Thank you," hoping it would make her feel better. Then, cupping Y/N’s flour-covered face in her hands, she smiled.
"Alright, you’re done mixing the ingredients, right? What should we do next?" she asked gently.
Y/N blinked up at her in surprise before a bright grin stretched across her lips.
"Next is..." She paused mid-sentence, glancing around at the mess. Reality hit her like a brick. The dough was everywhere. There was no next step, not unless they wanted to bake with ingredients scraped off the counter.
Sophia noticed immediately. After living together for over two years, she could read Y/N’s expressions like an open book. And right now, she looked like a kicked puppy.
Chuckling, Sophia gently wiped some flour off Y/N’s face and said, "Tell you what, let’s start from the beginning. You can teach me how to bake an Oreo cake."
Y/N’s eyes lit up, and before Sophia could react, she was pulled into the tightest hug she had ever received.
Safe to say, Y/N gladly accepted the invitation.
An hour later, after an exhausting kitchen cleanup and a well-earned shower, Y/N finally rushed back to the kitchen just as the oven let out a sharp Ting! signaling the cake was ready.
Sophia was already at the counter, slicing into the dessert. She took a bite, eyes lighting up with genuine surprise.
“This is good,” she praised, licking a stray crumb off her thumb.
“I told you it’d be tasty,” Y/N said, voice slightly muffled as she stuffed a bite into her mouth, completely unaware of the crumbs decorating her lips.
Sophia noticed. And in one smooth motion, she reached over, swiping a thumb across Y/N’s lips before slipping it into her mouth, licking the crumbs off with a smirk.
Safe to say, Y/N went speechless.
Sophia was always the cook in their relationship, and Y/N had always been the tease. But this? This was new.
Sophia leaned in slightly, her gaze lingering. “This is good too,” she murmured, her smirk widening.
Y/N swallowed, and it wasn’t because of the cake.
#katseye x reader#katseye imagines#sophia laforteza x reader#katseye#sophia laforteza#sirenontheloose#request
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I can't hear it now
acacius x f!reader // 3.6k
summary: A love that was never meant to be. A choice that was never truly yours to make. Acacius was never yours to keep, yet in the dark of night, beneath the weight of duty and desire, he was yours still. For stolen moments, for whispered names, for aching hands tracing the lines of something fleeting, something doomed.
But love does not always mean staying. And when his words reach you at last—words of longing, of regret, of a desperate plea—will you go to him? Or will you let the fire consume him, the way he has already consumed you?
warnings: mdni, 18+, alludes to smut, acacius is married, forbidden love, this is pure angst like I hurt myself writing this lol I wanted it to hurt real bad... I am sorry.
notes: this is for Freya's @almostfoxglove 's angst challenge. this was my moodboard. I have not written for Acacius at all so please be gentle with me. The moodboard and song Freya so kindly created and linked really gave me an idea instantly so thank you for giving me such a beautiful idea, this was probably the easiest I've ever plotted out a fic before and it's all thanks to your creative genius. Big thank you to my baby @thundermartini as always for being my biggest cheerleader, reading this over for me and always assuring me. how could I ever write anything without you? I love you so much <3 and big thank yous to my other cheerleaders for always supporting me big time @itwasntimethatdidit40 @sawymredfox and @myownwholewildworld I love you all so so so much <3
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The room lay bathed in shadow, the moonlight slipping through the narrow slats of the shutters, casting silver bands across the floor. The air was thick—heavy with the mingled scents of sweat and skin. Distant voices carried from the villa beyond, but they were meaningless here, swallowed by the hush of this stolen moment.
Acacius’ hands found you, firm and unrelenting as he pressed you against the cool stone wall. His tunic hung loose, its ties undone, revealing the golden plane of his chest, glistening in the dim glow. His lips were warm upon your throat, tracing a path of fire that left your breath unsteady, and your limbs weak.
"You are reckless," you murmured, though your hands betrayed you, tangling in his dark hair, nails grazing his scalp.
"Reckless?" His voice was a low whisper, rough with amusement, yet laced with hunger. "And yet you are here, pressed against me, trembling beneath my touch."
You said nothing, could say nothing, for his mouth was upon yours in an instant—urgent, possessive, as though he might claim you wholly in the space of a single heartbeat. You let him, let yourself drown in the sensation of him, for when all else was stripped away, this was all that remained.
His hands slipped beneath the folds of your clothing, calloused palms branding your skin as they traced the curve of your waist. He drew you closer still, until there was nothing between you but heat and need. A gasp escaped you, and he exhaled a quiet laugh against your lips.
"Soft, sweet thing," he murmured, though his voice held no mockery. "Do you know how often I dream of this?"
"Then do not speak of it," you whispered, though even as you said it, you knew it was futile.
"Let them hear you," he rasped, his breath hot against your ear. "Let them see what you do to me."
A laugh trembled at the edge of your lips, but it died the moment his mouth found yours again, slower this time, less desperate—deep and consuming, as though he wished to savor every moment, every taste. His hands roamed you as if memorizing you, as though the mere thought of parting was unendurable.
For a fleeting breath, you allowed yourself to forget the wife who awaited him beyond these walls, the life he could never offer you, and the cruel weight of reality that loomed just beyond the night’s embrace.
But then his lips left yours, trailing lower, and your mind unraveled once more, dissolving into nothing but him, only him.
"Acacius," you whispered, his name slipping unbidden from your lips, trembling upon the air between you.
He stilled, his forehead pressing to your collarbone. His breath came heavy, ragged. "Say it again," he murmured, hoarse with longing, his grip tightening upon your hips.
You obeyed, softer now. "Acacius."
He lifted his head, meeting your gaze, and in his dark eyes burned something raw, something perilously close to love—but shadowed with something else, something darker still.
"I am unworthy of you," he said, the words thick with sorrow. "But I would sooner rend the stars from the sky than let you go."
You cradled his face between your palms, thumbs brushing over the sharp lines of his jaw. "Then do not," you pleaded.
If only it could be so simple.
His lips found yours again, fevered with desperation. His hands roamed your body, as though trying to commit each curve, each breath, each shiver to memory—as though he feared this would be the last time.
And perhaps it would be.
The bed was scarcely large enough for one, but neither of you cared as he laid you upon it, the weight of him pressing into you in a way that made you ache, made you crave. Your hands roamed his broad shoulders, pushing the fabric of his tunic aside, eager to feel the heat of him, the solidness of him.
A growl rumbled low in his throat as he shuddered beneath your touch. "You undo me," he confessed, his lips ghosting over your skin.
You smiled, breathless. "Then show me."
He did.
The world beyond ceased to exist, lost in the press of his body, the reverence of his hands, the whispered prayers of your name against your skin. He worshipped you as though you were something sacred, something divine.
And for a time, you allowed yourself to believe it.
When at last you lay spent in his arms, his breath stirring against your temple, he murmured something soft, almost inaudible.
You did not ask him to repeat it. You did not wish to break the fragile peace that had settled over you both.
But peace is a fleeting thing.
As the first light of dawn crept through the shutters, reality stole back in with it.
"Do you ever wonder?" you whispered, breaking the silence.
Acacius stirred, his lips grazing the tender hollow beneath your ear. "Of what?"
"What it would be like," you said. "If we did not have to hide. If this," you gestured faintly between you, "was not all we could ever have."
He stilled. You felt it in the way his fingers once idly tracing patterns against your skin, froze. The weight of your words hung heavy between you, thick as the morning air.
"It is better not to think on such things," he said at last, his voice rough, his gaze falling away as he sat up. "I cannot give you what you deserve."
The words struck as surely as a blade, though you had known them long before he ever spoke them aloud.
"But you will take all that I may offer," you said, sharper than you had intended.
His head snapped up, a flicker of pain in his dark eyes. "Do not say that."
"Why not?" you challenged, sitting up, putting space between you. The warmth of him, once a comfort, was now a memory. You already missed it. "It is true, is it not?"
Marcus raked a hand through his dark hair, his chest rising and falling with the force of his breath. "You think this is easy for me?" he asked. "You think I do not loathe myself with every step I take from you? With every lie I speak to her?"
You flinched, and he saw it.
"Do not speak of her," you whispered. "Not here. Not now."
His hands came to your arms, gentle but firm, forcing you to look at him. "I would protect you from all of this," he swore. "From her. From them. From myself."
You laughed then, but there was no mirth in it. "You cannot even protect yourself, Marcus."
His hands fell away. The silence between you was deafening.
"I love you," he said suddenly, the words scarcely more than breath, yet they shattered you all the same.
Your throat tightened. Your eyes burned. "Then fight for me," you pleaded. "Do not let this be all we are."
For a moment, you thought he might say yes. You saw the battle waged behind his eyes, the war between duty and desire. But then his shoulders sagged, and he looked away.
"This holy ground burns my feet. I cannot stay, and yet I do not want to leave," he said, so softly it nearly broke you.
Tears slipped free, and you did not stop them. You turned toward the door, your movements slow, heavy with the weight of what had just been spoken—of what had been left unsaid.
Your fingers trembled as you reached for your discarded garments, the fabric cool against your skin as you pulled them back into place. Each tie fastened, each fold smoothed, felt like sealing away a part of yourself, tucking it back behind the mask you wore beyond these stolen hours. The warmth of his touch still lingered, but it would fade, as it always did.
"Wait," he said, his voice cracking. "Please."
You hesitated.
He reached for the simple band of gold upon his finger, hesitating only a moment before sliding it free.
"Take it," he murmured, pressing it into your palm. "Keep it. Until we meet again."
You hated how easily you let yourself believe him. How your heart still clung to the idea that there would be another moment after this, another night where his hands would map your body and his lips would trace words he was too much of a coward to say aloud.
You swallowed hard, forcing down the ache that lodged itself in your throat. “And if we do not?”
Acacius exhaled sharply through his nose, his head bowing for the briefest moment before he shook it, as though warding off the thought itself. “Do not speak of such things.” His voice was strained, rough with something perilously close to despair.
You stepped back, slipping the ring into the folds of your clothing. It should not have felt so heavy. And yet, it did.
Acacius turned away, his movements rigid as he reached for the table in the dim corner of the chamber, where his armor lay in a careful arrangement. A small scroll of parchment rested beside it—deliberately placed, waiting.
He picked it up, his fingers lingering over the edges, then hesitated before pressing it into your hands.
“If ever you should change your mind,” he murmured, eyes fixed on the space between you, never daring to meet your gaze, “open it.”
You hesitated, fingers curling but refusing to take it. “What is this?”
His jaw tensed, a muscle feathering in his cheek. “A choice.”
A quiet, bitter laugh slipped from your lips before you could stop it. “No. It is another way for you to break my heart.”
Acacius flinched as though you had struck him.
The silence stretched, thick and suffocating. Slowly, your fingers closed around the parchment. Without a word, you tucked it away, into the same hidden place where his ring now rested.
And then you turned.
You did not look back.
He did not call you to stay.
—
Days passed. You did not open the letter.
Every night, you traced the edges of the ring beneath your fingertips, feeling its warmth against your skin, like it still held his touch.
He did not come to you again. You did not go to him.
Then, a week later, you cracked.
It was late when you unrolled the parchment, your hands shaking, the candlelight flickering against the ink-stained words.
My love,
I do not know if these words shall ever reach you. Perhaps they should not. Perhaps it is a cruelty to write at all, to leave behind mere ink when I have already left so much else. And yet, I must. I must, for the weight of what I carry cannot go unspoken.
I did not wish to leave you—never think it so. Had the gods willed another path, I would have taken it, would have stood against fate itself with sword in hand if it meant remaining by your side. But this world is not merciful, nor does it grant peace to men like me. Had I stayed, it would have torn me from you in ways far worse than this. That, I could not allow.
You were my only sanctuary, the one truth I never questioned. To love you was the sole virtue of my life, the one act I shall never repent. And though I am lost to you now, though the fates have severed what was once whole, know this: I am yours, now and always. Neither time nor death shall unmake what we were.
I pray the gods are kinder to you than they have been to me. That joy may find you once more. But if it does not—if the world turns cruel, if you find yourself adrift and wonder whether I still think of you—know that I do. In this life and the next, I shall always think of you.
And so, I ask this of you, though I have no right to, come to me I beg it of you. If there is still a place in your heart that has not turned against me, if even the smallest ember of what we were still lingers, meet me where the olive trees stand at the edge of the city, where the river bends and the world quiets. Let me look upon you once more before the gods tear me away, if only to commit your face to memory, to carry the light of you into whatever darkness awaits me. If nothing else, grant me this.
With all that I am,
Acacius
The candle’s flame flickered against the parchment, casting long shadows that danced across the walls. Your hands trembled as you read Acacius’ words, your breath catching on the weight of them.
Each sentence carved through you like a blade, slicing past your anger, your sorrow, your resolve. I am yours, now and always.
How dare he? How dare he write such things, spill out his soul onto parchment, and yet still choose duty over you? Still choose a life where you were nothing more than a whispered secret?
Your vision blurred, a single tear spilling onto the page, smudging the ink where his name had been signed with careful, deliberate strokes.
You hated him.
You loved him.
The fire crackled beside you, the embers shifting like they, too, could feel your turmoil. You held the letter over the flames, hesitating just for a moment—just long enough to wonder if you'd regret it.
Then, with a sharp inhale, you let go.
The parchment curled as the fire devoured it, blackening at the edges before collapsing into itself. The words disappeared, burned away as if they had never been written at all. But you felt them, still, seared into your skin, your soul.
You pressed the ring tethered around your neck against your lips. You should throw that into the fire, too. Should rid yourself of every last piece of him.
But you couldn't
Days passed.
You should have let it go. Should have cast the ring into the river, let the current carry it far beyond your reach. Should have buried the memory of him in the recesses of your mind, left it to rot like the dying embers of that flame.
But you did not.
Instead, you wrote.
Your hand trembled over the parchment, but the words came quickly, as though they had been waiting to be freed.
Acacius,
I have burned your letter.
Not for hatred—though I wish I could hate you. Not for anger—though I should be wrathful. No, I burned it because to read it again would be to let it wound me anew, and I have suffered enough at the hands of your absence. Your words, though fair, are a cruelty. They speak of love yet bring only sorrow.
You write that you did not wish to leave me, and yet you went. You write that you have loved me, and yet you chose a life where I am nothing but a shadow. You speak of the gods as though they are the authors of this pain, but it was not their hand that severed us—it was yours.
And yet, I am a fool. A fool, for I write you still. A fool, for though I know you will break me again, I offer you this:
Come with me.
Leave the battlefield. Abandon your duty, your name, your oaths. Let the burdens of Rome fall from your shoulders. We will go where no man knows us, where no law binds us, where the weight of our sins shall belong to no one but the gods themselves. You speak of fate as though it is unyielding, but I do not believe in fate. I believe in choice.
So choose me.
Come to me, Acacius. And if you do not, if you cannot, then let this be the last time my name passes your lips, the last time you think of me beneath the stars.
With all that I am,
Yours
The moment you set the quill down, you felt the finality of it settle into your bones. You had bared your soul upon the parchment, laid it before him with trembling hands. And yet, you did not send it.
Not that day.
Not the next.
Days turned to weeks, and still, the letter remained hidden away, unsent, unread.
And then, one evening, when the city was bathed in the amber glow of torches and the streets murmured with whispered news, you heard his name.
You did not want to turn, did not want to listen. But the words struck you like a blade to the chest, piercing through bone and marrow, hollowing you out from the inside.
Acacius was dead.
They said he fell in battle, a sword through his ribs, the blood pooling beneath him dark as the night sky. They said he fought like a man possessed, as though he had nothing left to lose.
Your breath left you. Your knees buckled, but you did not fall. You could not fall.
You had waited too long.
The letter still sat, unsent. He would never read it. Would never know.
The world felt unbearably still.
But grief did not move you to tears. No, grief moved you to action.
The moon was high when you reached the place where they had laid the fallen. The air was thick with the scent of death, blood, and smoke, and the torches lining the corridor flickered against the stone walls like restless spirits.
You had no right to be here. No place among the mourning wives, the grieving mothers, and the sons who had come to claim the fathers they would never see again.
But you came anyway.
Acacius was there, just as they had said. His body lay upon the raised stone, displayed beneath the flickering torchlight, surrounded by the scent of burning oils. There were no mourners. No whispered prayers. Just silence.
Just you.
He looked almost peaceful, as though he had simply closed his eyes and drifted into slumber. But the truth was written in the deep wound beneath his ribs, in the dried blood that marred the golden skin of his chest.
He had died a soldier’s death.
Your breath came shallow, uneven, as you stepped forward. No one stopped you. There was no one left to do so.
Slowly, carefully, you reached out, your fingers trembling as they brushed against his skin. He was cold. Cold in a way he had never been before. A lump formed in your throat.
“You fool,” you whispered, the words meant only for him. “You were supposed to come back to me.”
But he had not.
You had given him a choice, and in the end, he had made it. He had chosen the battlefield over you, just as he always had. And now he had paid the price for it.
Your fingers curled around the ring that still hung from your neck, the small band of gold that had once rested upon his hand. You held it tightly, as though you could somehow press all your grief into it, as though it might carry the weight of your sorrow in place of you.
It would be easy, you thought, to slip it back onto his finger. To leave it with him, to bury it alongside him when the time came. But something inside you rebelled at the thought.
He had left you behind in life. You would not allow him to do so in death.
Carefully, you took the ring and tucked it away once more, pressing it against your skin as though to keep him there, with you, even now.
Then, with hands that did not shake, you reached into the folds of your cloak and withdrew the letter. The one you had never sent. The one that had remained hidden away for far too long.
Your eyes burned as you looked at it, the inked words staring back at you, mocking you with all the things he would never hear.
A fool’s hope. That was all it had ever been.
And yet, still, you bent forward, pressing the parchment into the stillness of his hands.
“Here,” you whispered. “Take it, Acacius. Take the choice you never made.”
He could not read it now. But perhaps, if there were gods beyond this life, they would allow him to hear your words. To know that, even in the end, you still wanted him.
Your gaze lingered on him, tracing the lines of his face, memorizing every detail before the earth claimed him. He had always been beautiful, even in death. And that, more than anything, shattered you.
A quiet breath left your lips as you leaned down, pressing your forehead against his. His scent was faint now, masked by the oils and the cold stillness of his body, but it was there. Just enough to remind you of what you had lost.
Then, with all the tenderness you had once held back, you kissed him.
One last time.
His lips were cold, unmoving, but you kissed him anyway. Slowly. Softly. As though, for a moment, he might still kiss you back.
But he did not.
He never would again.
When you finally pulled away, your vision blurred with tears you refused to shed. You had lingered long enough.
So, with one final look, one last whispered goodbye, you turned and walked away.
#marcus acacius#marcus acacius smut#marcus acacius x reader#general marcus acacius#pedro pascal characters#pedro pascal fic#marcus acacius fic
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