#to eat a whole pie at once which is like. so normal

[belphieslilcow]

dillys gets frustrated and goes on a rant in the tags teehee ~ ⋆｡°✩

[avocado-writing]

hi hi! these prompts are so sweet - could I please send you "did you eat today?" + logan? I feel like he was on his own for so long and probably ate like shit (so might be soft when he’s asked if he’s taking care of himself like this?) 💖 thank you so much! Your request drabbles are all so stunning!

it's been a long while since logan was this looked after.

after everything that happened in the mansion he just didn't think he was a person worth receiving any kind of care, especially self-care. no. a man like him deserved to be punished for what he did, and a bottle to his lips every night was his self-flagelation. the years of alcohol put his body through hell, and food? well. it's been a long time since he ate something which didn't come in a greasy wrapper or needed to be nuked in the microwave.

if he were a normal man, no metal in his bones or healing in his genes, he'd be outright dead. as it stands when wade turned up, mentally and physically, he wasn't in great shape.

that is until he met you.

"did you eat today?" is a question he became accustomed to from your sweet little mouth. a concerned friend of wade's met on a lazy afternoon in the apartment, all smiles and soft edges, brow near-permanently creased in worry as you'd asked him when he'd last had a meal (and the answer was usually too long ago to be satisfactory). then without missing a beat you'd get to work feeding him. stealing eggs from wade and al's kitchen to whip him up an omelette, fixing him a sandwich if needs be, once you made a whole damn pie and sat there watching him devour slice after slice.

in fact, it wasn't long before you just started inviting him over for dinner, and then dinner became dinner dates, and then, well. that became him moving in.

your cooking is exceptional. that isn't just him being kind to the person he's sweet on, it's true. he doesn't know how you can put the same slices of bread together he does yet somehow make them taste like they've come from heaven but you do, day after day. just another little miracle from your never-ending supply of them. even now he's still not certain if he's deserving of your attention, your effort, your time, but you won't hear any pushback from him about it. these things are feely given to him, just like your heart is.

he knows what you really mean when you say "have you eaten today?" you mean, "I love you". you mean, "you're a person who's worth caring about."

he wraps his arms around your waist as you stand at the stovetop stirring a homemade stew. the smell drifts upwards and makes his mouth water, spiced beef and fine-diced vegetables never seeming so good. you laugh as he buries his face in your neck.

"you eaten, baby?" you ask.

he hasn't. but he'll get there.

[puripurin]

— "What the fuck." You started at the merman who wriggled around for space. His eyes looked at you in fear as he saw you, before a blush had spread across his face.

Up until 30 seconds ago, you had lived a normal life, well, except for the obscene amount of work you were stressed out with. So you hopped on the boat your parents had gifted you some years ago and sailed into the sea. The feel of the ocean breeze hitting your face was a familiar sensation to you.

This was because your parents were fishermen and loved to eat seafood, and naturally, you had gravitated towards seafood, but with prices these days and your never-ending workload, it didn't allow you to do anything without setting you back on your tight deadlines. Until today.

You had gotten a whole week of paid vacation because a coworker was threatening to bring them to court for a long list of harassment. So they gave the people who worked the most a one week paid vacation. Though, to her, it wasn't enough, so you're getting a paid vacation week while they are still going to get sued. Whatever, its their fault either way.

Anyways, how did you reel in a merman that shouldn't even exist? Frankly, you don't know either. You had accidentally started to daydream, which turned into you not realizing something was caught, so instinctively, you were able to reel in a merman.

"H-huuuumann?" His deep moss green eyes stared at up at you with interest whilst you nearly got blinded by the shimmering gleem of his scales that were scattered across his cheeks. He stopped his advancements towards you until it was difficult to hold up his neck to see you.

"Erm... sorry for catching you, I was daydreaming. I'll unhook the fish hook attached to you..." You apologized and went down to unhook him, only for him to pull down your pants and underwear down, making you fall on the bench below you and stuffing his face in your genitals.

"Hey! W-what are you doing?" You pushed his face away, to which he pouted to. He sat there for a while as you tried to push him off the boat, to no avail.

"I... Accceppt thhis marrriaage!" He excitedly said as he tugged on your pants to gently pull it off again, but you held on tightly to your pants.

"What marriage? I didn't propose to you?" You evaded from his pulling hands in confusion.

"Whennn youuu reeeeledd mmeee inn dummmyy!" He slurred his words once more. "Shtop! I waant too tasstte you firrst beeforrre you tassteeee mee!" He huffed before his nails turned into sharp claws that shreaded your pants, then pulled down your underwear again and happily stuffing his face and licking your crotch with his tongue that felt rough.

Once more, you tried to move away but only ended up moaning at the feeling. Your face was slightly hot as you looked away but was swiftly pulled back in for a kiss, tasting your own fluids.

"Ah... finally... now it's your turn, cutie pie. We have to go to my hometown to get married <3"

"WHAT!?!? Firstly, no! Secondly, i will drown!"

"... Who said you can say no? When you reeled me, it was akin to a marriage proposal. Also, that's why you suck my dick and kiss me <333"

"WHAT--"

Was supposed to be posted yesterday, but when i saved a portion of it, i didn't see that i was save so i went back in to edit it to see what's rong before i saved it and for a slpilt second i saw the rest of it before it saved, so i lost majority of my work.

So now it looks like tjis. Womp womp. I think tjis is an afab reader? But i tried to make it gn as possible but i wannted a weird ass mermaid culture where to speak another's language, you gotta eat them out/suck them off before kissing person to speak. At first i wanted him to just kiss in order to get the language js like starfire but i was like,, so what do i do with him tryna eat you out??,, then boom yeahh.

Also, yo quero voy en me casaaaaaa *cries pathetically* No me gusta Español :((((((( not proofread. L

Edit: i forgot about tags. Mb.

[kcrossvine-art]

Hi fellow adventurers!! Welcome to chapter 2! We're going to be attempting a nice lil fruit-focused quiche/frittata/pie thing. And yes, tomatoes are fruits.

Who says you cant eat totally normal things in a dungeon with definitely no monsters in them? 

You know what that means; Man-Eating Plant Tart!

(As always you can find the cooking instructions and full ingredient list under the break-)

MY NAMES CROSS NOW LETS COOK LIKE ANIMALS

SO, “what goes in to a Man-Eating Plant Tart?” YOU MIGHT ASKThe way its prepared in the show is akin to a frittata, but the crust is borrowed from quiche world.

Eggs

Whole milk

Bell peppers

Persimmons

Cherry tomatoes

Pitted green olives

Thinly sliced OR shredded sweet potatos

Salt

Pepper

In the show they use leftover hotpot stock, slime, and mashed up fruit as the batter ingredients. Fruit mush is easy to work with but I couldn't find any stand-in for slime that would cook correctly into what they made in the show, and the hotpot stock is just not thick enough to carry the base. It is too many watery ingredients at once. Needing a thickening agent, both gelatin and agar agar were tried. It was edible but the texture was… gelatinous. Regular egg and milk will serve for our purposes.

The next complication was the crust- so in the show its made with the skins of fruit, straightforward yeah? Well. You see it also has to be 1. Thick enough to bake without burning 2. Harden through cooking to be sliced and held and 3. Inedible. Lotus leaves? Plantain leaves? Really thin gourds? I couldnt find any historical basis for a savory food cooked in this method, or similar method, with an intentionally inedible crust. I could find a few dishes which used leaves as their crust, but none that hardened during cooking and even less that used fruit skin. I chose sweet potato skin for its visual match and texture. It is edible, and it is not a fruit.

I hope youll forgive me for these 2 major deviations as i wanted to keep it looking how it does in the show while also ensuring it tastes good.

AND, “what does a Man-Eating Plant Tart taste like?” YOU MIGHT ASKFluffy, airy, savory, salty.

The density of the eggs is offset by the crisp fruits

And the saltiness doesnt overpower the remnant fruit-sweetness

(If you eat the crust) the sweet potato brings this nice muted, smokey, flavor

Spongecake-esque in consistency

Would pair well with cranberry or strawberry juice

Would also pair well with a mellow hot sauce?

. You can use heavy cream instead of milk for a creamier batter . Roast the fruit longer to remove more liquid if too wet (and vice versa if too dry) . Smoked paprika, pepper flakes, cumin, garlic powder, and onion powder would taste good in the mixture

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"A mixture of mashed up and cut up Man-Eating Plant fruit, slime and scorpion soup is poured into a pan lined with the flattened peel of the fruit and cooked before garnishing with some more fruit. Described as salty by the group."

From start to finish this recipe took 3-ish hours? Shredding the potatoes took the longest, so if you get them bagged itd be cut down. A very filling recipe and a good way to sneak veggies/fruits in if you have a hard time getting enough of those essential nutrients. The best advice i can give is to add salt/seasonings at every stage of the process, to build up layers. It makes a difference flavor-wise (even if its just salt). I advise against reheating if possible. The filling will make the crust soggy over time.

If you want to be closer to the cooking of the show, you could double the fruit amounts and mash them together while halving the amount of egg and milk. I hadnt tried due to budget reasons, but it should work with some finangling. I'll pass the final verdict off to you guys with how todays recipe turned out <333

What would you rate this recipe out of 10? (with 1 being food that makes one physically sick and 10 being food that gives one a lust for life again.) Did you love it, did you hate it? What're your thoughts on what I could do better, and what would you have done instead?

🐁 ORIGINAL RESIPPY TEXT BELOW 🐁

Ingredients:

3 Eggs

13oz whole milk

2 bell peppers

2 small persimmons

140oz cherry tomatoes

12oz pitted green olives

34oz thinly sliced OR shredded sweet potatos

Salt

Pepper

Method:

Heat oven to 420f and grease a 9-inch pie pan.

Thinly slice (or shred) your sweet potatoes and squeeze out any excess moisture. Coat in olive oil, salt and pepper.

Press sweet potato mixture evenly into and up the sides of the pie pan.

Blind bake for roughly 25 minutes or until lightly golden-brown. No worries if the edges get crisp.

Remove pie pan from oven and set aside.

Core and chop up your bell peppers and persimmons. Coat with olive oil, salt, and pepper.

Line out on a baking sheet, evenly spaced, and roast for roughly 20 minutes or until softened. (you can do this at the same time on a separate rack from the pie crust if you have room)

Remove the stems from your cherry tomatoes, and drain/dry your green olives if canned.

Bring a frying pan to medium heat with olive oil. Add the green olives and sautee until their skin texture starts dimpling. Add the cherry tomatoes and continue sauteeing for about 5 minutes or until lightly browned.

Once the bell peppers, persimmons, cherry tomatoes, and green olives are all done, set aside to cool until just above room temp.

Lower the oven temperature to 350f.

In a mixing bowl combine your eggs and milk, add salt to taste. If you want other seasonings nows a good time!

Once uniform in color and texture, add your cooked fruit. Stir until evenly distributed.

Pour mixture into the potato pie crust.

Bake for roughly 40 minutes. The filling should be mostly firm, but wiggle *slightly* when you shake the pan.

Remove from oven and let rest for roughly 15 minutes before serving.

[marvelwitchergilmore]

Off Limits

Summary: Colter Shaw x Fe!Reader -> Four times Colter told people (mainly his brother) you were off limits, and the one time he proved why.

Disclaimer: Mostly fluff, a little hint of angst towards the end but happy ending. Not Proof Read.

It was safe to say yourself and Colter Shaw had known each other for a long time. 

You had both met on a fishing trip. Well, he had been on a fishing trip. You had been looking for your idiot brother who had decided to just disappear. 

Colter helped you across the rocks to the creek and watched as you tried to find…something. That day he helped you and the rest was history. 

You kept in contact over the years, which meant it wouldn’t be totally uncommon if you ended up speaking to some of his other friends. Even maybe meeting some of them. 

However, it was a few years before you met his family. 

And it started with his brother, Russell. 

You were helping Colter on a case in South Dakota. 

A friend of a friend that you went to college with had gone missing. And, you knew just the man for the job. That man also happened to be lugging around another one of him who was just a little more…rough around the edges. 

“Do you just happen to be friends with all of the beautiful women, Colt?”

Colter got a little awkward. “Meet my brother, Russell.”

“Nice to finally meet you. Colter’s mentioned you a couple of times. Nice to put a face to the name.”

“I’d say the same but…Colter didn’t mention anything about you.”

As the day went on, you could feel Russell’s gaze drop to you often before he’d throw out a flirty line and a dashing smile. 

And Colter caught the whole lot of it. 

“Okay, so what about you and her?” Russell finally got to ask his brother when they were sat down eating and you had headed off to the bathroom. 

“What about me and her?” 

“Are you…is there something? Or do I have a shot?”

Colter sighed with a small smile. “No, we’re just friends.”

“Great.”

Russell went to stand but Colter grabbed him by the collar and pulled him back down. “But she’s off limits.”

“Okay, okay. Mind letting go?”

“Sorry.”

Colter let go quickly and moved back into his seat. “We’ve been friends for years. I’m doing her a service.”

“Colt, I’m your brother. Shouldn’t you be doing me the service?”

Colter just dead-eyed him. “I’m doing her a service.” And then he took a bite of his pie. 

Russell accepted it, but that didn’t mean he didn’t enjoy rustling his brother’s feathers every now and then by turning the flirting scale up a tad every now and again. 

The second time Colter said you were off limits was at a charity auction. 

You had been invited per a family friend’s invitation and needed a date. And when you lightly threatened to call his brother instead, Colter agreed. He was already in the area, but at least it stopped him from leaving town so quickly. 

Whilst there, Colter was questioned three times by three different men; all asking if you were with Colter, or with Colter. To which, he answered truthfully, but also made sure that they knew you were off limits when it came to him and that night. 

“Tomorrow, you can ask her what you want, and she will give you an answer, but for tonight gentlemen, I am her date. Excuse me.”

Colter couldn’t help but hold you just a little tighter when on the dance floor, after the constant questions. 

The third time Colter told someone you were off limits was to his brother, again. 

It had been a birthday party for you, thrown together by one of your work colleagues and Reenie. Russell just so happened to be also looking for his brother. And he knew exactly where to find him. 

Like normal, Russell flirted with you. A little more so when Colter was within direct eye-line of you both. 

And you couldn’t help but smile. 

However, once the cake had been cut, Russell came back to his brother. They talked for a moment but when you came back into view, Russell put his cake down. 

“I think I’m gonna go and wish the birthday girl a happy birthday.”

However, Colter forced a small laugh and grabbed his brother by the back of his collar. 

“Okay, just because you’re as tall as me now, doesn’t mean I’m not stronger.”

“She’s off limits.”

“Still?”

“Russell.”

“Colter.”

“Boys.”

From behind them both, Reenie appeared. 

It was the first time in a long time they’d both had the feeling of being caught doing something they shouldn’t. 

The fourth time Colter told someone you were off limits was, once again, to his brother. 

Teddi and Velma were throwing a small dinner party, and had invited you, Colter, Reenie and Bobby to join them. And, since Russell was close by, he was invited to. 

“My god, as I live and breathe.” 

You turned around, balancing the cake you brought on the flat of your palm. 

“Russell,” you smiled, softly. 

“You know, I’m starting to think it’s fate. The birthday party, now this?”

You hummed. “Oh, I’m sure. I’m also sure one of the fates is inside the house plotting your death.”

“Still off limits?”

You nodded. “Colter’s a man of his word.”

“So…you…made yourself off limits?”

“Relax, I like you, Russell. You’re a good man. You’re just not…my man.”

“Ah,” Russell nodded. 

He had an idea about what you meant when you said ‘my man’, but until he saw proof, he couldn’t be certain. 

So he still flirted. Maybe a little less, but he was a big brother after all. Wasn’t it his job to annoy his little brother?

However, the final time Colter told someone (Russell) you were off limits…he didn’t have to say it. Because the fearsome look in his eyes said it for him.

It wasn’t often he managed to get back to the States to see his brother, but when he did, he always made sure to stay close until Colter had left the state he saw him in. 

Only, he didn’t seem to leave as quickly as he had come. 

So, when he went to visit him one morning, he was also there to witness a call that changed everything. 

Reenie had also come to visit and was going to grab lunch with you, except you got called away for a meeting and suddenly everything shut down. Including the backup generators. And then the fire alarm went off. 

There was a fire and Reenie couldn’t get a hold of you. 

So, in a fit of panic after asking thirty different staff members if they had seen you, she called Colter. 

Russell watched as his brother’s heart seemed to stop. Tears of panic and fear grew behind the front he tried to put on. 

“What’s going on?”

“Y/n’s missing and there’s a fire at the school. Reenie’s still trying to find out what’s going on. I need to find her.”

“I’m coming with you.”

Colter might have broken four different road laws, but he couldn’t care. You were worth it. You were worth everything to him. 

By the time he pulled up outside of the school, he was pushing through waves of students and teachers to find Reenie. 

“Colter!”

“Reenie, have you seen her?”

“No, not yet. But she’s still not answering her phone.”

“Why wasn’t she with you?”

“She got called away to a meeting. I was waiting for an hour or so in her office when everything shut down. They’re still trying to get the power back on, but…Colter, I don’t know where she is.”

“We’ll find her. She can’t have gone far, right? She knows these buildings like the back of her hand.”

Reenie nodded. “Only thing is, we don’t.”

“Call Bobby, maybe he can send us something. Anything.”

Russell nodded, pulling out his phone. “I’ll call him.”

“She’ll be okay, right? She’s okay.”

Reenie nodded. “She’s smart. And tough. Hopefully she’s just stuck on the other side of campus and can’t get reception.”

The longer time passed, the more worried Colter became. 

Bobby sent through the blueprints but without knowing where the meeting was, they had no idea where to start. 

“Did she mention what the meeting was about?”

Reenie shook her head. “No. Nothing.”

“What about her desk?” Russell asked. “A post-it, a diary, anything.”

“Reenie?”

“I-Maybe, I don’t know. Something about Kindred or Kinder or…something like that. I can’t really read her handwriting.”

“Kindrich.” Colter said out loud. 

“Maybe? Again, I don’t know.”

“If anyone pulled her in for an emergency meeting it would have been Kindrich. He runs the Life Sciences building. This way.”

Reenie and Russell hurried after Colter, almost losing him in the sea of students along the way. 

However, the closer they got to the life sciences building, the closer the smoke from the fire seemed to get. 

And when it came into clear sight, Colter started running. 

He was calling out your name.

“Reenie! Call her again!”

She was doing so just as Colter thought he heard someone call his name. 

He called out for you again. 

And then there you were. 

“Colter.”

“Y/n.” 

You ran towards him before crashing into him as you lifted your arms to hug him, and he did the same. 

“Are you okay? You’re not hurt, are you? You’re warm. What- were you in the fire?”

“I’m okay. Everyone’s okay.”

Then he kissed you. 

Deeply. Passionately. Desperately. 

And then he hugged you again. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

You closed your eyes for a moment, breathing him in before you remembered;

“Reenie.”

“She’s okay. She’s with Russell.”

Looking around, you finally spotted her and ran towards her, too. 

“Are you okay?” you both asked as you hugged. 

“I was trying to call you but-”

“There’s no reception on this side of campus. And if there is, it’s spotty at best.”

“Next time I’m coming with you. What even happened? The power went down and then there were just fire alarms everywhere.”

“There was a fault with one of the machines in the building. Funnily enough, that was what the meeting was about. Finding something to replace the machines. And when the power went down, something in the labs went up in smoke.”

“But-but you’re okay? You’re not hurt?”

You shook your head. “The medics checked me over. I’m fine.”

“Medics?” Russell asked. 

You looked around nervously. “I might have ran back inside a couple of times to help get students out.”

“You’re not supposed to-”

“I know, I know, I know but they’re just kids. The important thing is no-one got hurt.”

“But you could have.”

“But I didn’t. Colter, look at me.” You took his face in your hands. “I’m okay. I promise.”

“Okay,” Colter finally accepted what you were saying, kissed you quickly before he hugged you again. 

Then Russell cleared his throat. “So, um, how long has this been going on?”

“Russ,”

“No, no. I’m your big brother. I’ve got to look out for you. Did mom ever give you the talk?”

“Okay,” Reenie said, trying to move on. “How about we get some lunch, and maybe some wine?”

You nodded, walking towards her, allowing her to link her arm with yours as you left Colter to fend for himself with his brother. 

“Russell, please don’t.”

“You see, when two people love each other very much…”

[luna-the-cretar]

Hi, I’m talking about the love curses in OUAW again for the thousandth time, because I finally understand Richie’s interpretation of it after seeing it again in the Yuletide oneshot.

Okay, so obviously Mikey’s and even Andy’s interpretation of the love curses doesn’t go any further than skin deep. They just see the item of their affection and essentially become Ron from that one video of the two birds. And id say it’s fairly in character for the two goblinoids.

Rich’s interpretation of the love curse, I’ve noticed, is just closeness. It’s not as obvious with Briggsy in the Yuletide oneshot, but it’s especially obvious with Kremy during the wedding in episode 15. Sure, Kremy got jealous, but that wasn’t the only thing. He just. Wanted to be close to Gideon (closer than I bet he normally is).

Kremy didn’t start really talking to Gid until AFTER he was affected with the curse, to which he couldn’t shut up. And because they were standing at the altar, the two of them had to keep leaning in to sidebar, hence getting closer. Then was Kremy’s suggestion of feeding each other the peanut butter pie/cake, and the dancing. Even after the curse had long since dissipated, it almost seems like Kremy keeps fighting himself between getting closer to Gideon as well as putting distance between them.

And then there’s Mace’s interpretation with Gideon, which is interesting. Because the first time Gideon got the love curse, he was mostly just. Admiring Kremy. Calling him beautiful/perfect, regardless of form; helping him fix his mustache; nodding along to Kremy’s stupid Shants scheme. I mean, there was also the noticeable sexual attraction—like with the goblinoids—but this is also Gideon we’re talking about. And also, this only applied to the first time, when it applied to Kremy. Which is also interesting because Gideon does most of this stuff normally, it’s just that any romantic undertones were repressed. Hidden. But once he was under the love curse, it was like all of those repressed affections for Kremy came forth, louder than ever (which might also be the reason why Gideon was able to verbally admit he loved Kremy, whereas Kremy couldn’t, even when he was under his curse)

But for Bumbo? None of that really applied. It was barely below skin deep. In fact, Gideon even mentioned that he knew that Bumbo was just a clown using the body of his best friend. Gideon was just kinda…sad? He was sad that Bumbo was sad, and that Gideon had killed him, but that was the end of it, really. Which makes sense since Bumbo is his own entity, separate from Kremy, so of course none of the same things apply to someone who isn’t Kremy.

And, again, even after the curse had long since dissipated, you can still see some of the more notable traces throughout the rest of the campaign. Like Gideon listening and egging Kremy on about his Witches Brew idea (and the whole Taper Tots idea), Kremy being the first one he ran to once he got his fire back, worrying about Kremy not eating enough, etcetera, etcetera.

But he’s also seemingly trying to put distance between the two of them—while Kremy is trying to close that same distance—and has been since the first love curse.

Idk man, I think the love curse is really fucking interesting, and I’m going to pick these two dumbasses apart cell by cell until OUAW picks back up in the new year

[sadlynotthevoid]

Okey, but, I feel like og!Cale is the type of person that, if someone tried to make fun of him for a crush, he would be like "ah, yeah, that's true" and openly admit it.

So, og AlbeCale AU where whenever someone tries to mock Cale about liking Alberu or asks him about it, he downright says the truth. Regardless of who is hearing him.

As in, maybe once someone asks if Rok Soo and Cale are dating because they seem close (in part because they're kind of close, and in part because Cale keeps knowing what he is thinking, but they don't know that's just a Cale thing). And Rok Soo is like:

Rok Soo: Nah. This guy's type are baker princes.

Cale: You got it wrong. I don't like any princes who bake, I like Alberu only.

And Alberu, who was drinking tea on the background, suddenly chokes on his cup. Which they notice, of course.

"Oh. Hey, Al. Are you okay?"

—Totally unfazed for having Alberu heard the whole conversation.

He's so shameless about it and it's completely unintentional.

He has no idea of how people treat their crushes normally nor is interested on doing the same. He knows that some people tend to get shy, but a decade purposefully acting as trash killed most of his shame— Well, at least when it is about others' opinions of him—. If he wants to do something, being laughed at is not what's going to stop him.

And what he wants is to say how adorable he thinks Alberu is, so that's what he does.

Rejection? He isn't proposing anything. He doesn't plan on dating or wooing Alberu either. It's not that he wouldn't like it, it's just that it hasn't occurred to him that that's even an option. For him, who had spent years hearing everyone say the worst of him, the idea of someone wanting him by their side is so far away that it has yet to form.

So he keeps making casual comments about how cute Alberu is when he's confused, or "his hair looks so soft, I bet it feels that way too", or "he looks so handsome when he's tricking people. I like it more when he doesn't have to, tho", while everyone else feels embarrased for it. Except Rosalyn, she thinks it's hilarious.

Of course, he's pretty much respectful about it, never crossing the line to sexual harassment. And he would stop if Alberu told him too, but he doesn't. He kinda didn't realize that was an option at the beginning and, at this point, he got used and actually enjoys it a bit (a lot).

Cale: oh, sweets! They're my fifth favorite thing in this cruel world.

Rosalyn, fully knowing what she's doing: what are the other four?

Cale, carefully choicing which cake eat first: Well— *rising a finger per item* my family, animals, Alberu and wine. In that order.

Alberu: *frowns* I'm only third?

Cale, picking a chocolate tart: Mm? I loved animals since before meeting you and, at this point, is a part of myself. The other day I saw a dog and spent two hours squatting at her side without realize. It was not a conscious decision, it was... a soul impulse, let's say.

Alberu, looking at his thighs because damn, that's a lot of time to stay in that position: Oh. Wait, you've also loved wine since before meeting me.

Cale: Yes, but drinking wine is a choice. I can live happily without it. You would be... more difficult to leave.

Alberu: *processing* (that means— can't be happy without me aksjdjsj) "blushes hard*

Rosalyn, looking at Alberu's silly fuming face: (don't laugh don't laugh) Pff—

Cale: cherry pie? *Holds a mini pie in front of Alberu*

The turn tables when Alberu realizes that Cale doesn't have resistaince against genuine compliments. He never takes fake glibbery words seriously, but if someone says the slightliest good thing about him and they mean it, he'll become a mess. He just— doesn't know how to react when someone believes anything good about him.

So, Alberu starts complimenting him seriously— as reprisal, of course ("that's just flirting, nephew. You two are flirting, stop calling it vengeance"). Small but real things, details most people doesn't notice, deeper things that he deserves to hear (because, honestly, someone should tell him how sweet he is. How considerate he is. How much he should be appreciated because he's precious. And it seems Alberu is that someone). It works everytime.

Alberu calls his smile cute once and Cale stops talking. Face red and eyes avoiding everything, he can't pronounce a single word.

He calls him kind after Cale subtly helped a strange for no reason (he's obviously doing it in a way others wouldn't notice unless they knew what to look for. Alberu wonders if this is other "Cale thing"). Cale trips and almost gets discovered. When Alberu looks at his face, he's pouting.

Curiously, he doesn't have the same reaction when he gets called smart. He just smiles a bit and sometimes puffs his chest. Huh. Still adorable, tho.

[prythiansprincess]

Eris letting you braid his hair for an event or just even a normal day 🥹

intertwined.

author's note: would kill for the opportunity to braid my little fox's hair 😔

eris never let anyone touch his hair.

as a young child, he learned to style and braid it himself. his mother was fond of teasing that eris had control issues when it came to his locks, but it was more than that. letting anyone that close to him meant being vulnerable and intimate, which he admitted he had a great deal of trouble doing.

for a few years, eris had even opted on keeping his hair short. that way, it wouldn't be a hassle to handle. but that was before you said that you missed his long hair. and cauldron fucking boil it, the little comment was all it took for eris to begin growing it out again.

when you returned to court after his coronation, something absolutely horrendous started happening to eris. he couldn't eat. he couldn't sleep. he couldn't think. it was pathetic, really. the high lord of the autumn court felled by some silly little crush. especially since you'd known each other since you were children. he'd seen you eat a mud pie, for cauldron's sake. granted, you were five at the time and six year old eris had indulged in your little concoction all the same.

still, the rabid little girl with the unruly curls and buck teeth shouldn't have made him so nervous. but you did. the tomboy he knew was not the same female that returned to court. eris was surprised by the transformation. gone was the frizzy mop of hair, replaced by glossy waves that smelled of candied apples and honeysuckle. you had grown into your smile as well and every time you flashed those pretty little dimples at him, eris felt his traitorous heart slamming thrashing against his chest.

the high lord couldn't even blame his attraction on your beauty, though there was plenty of it to go around. he was attracted to you because of your mind. eris had never met such a brilliant, cunning, and utterly ruthless female in his life. watching you spar with the other members of his council was almost like foreplay to him. you were passionate and fiery and you didn't back down without a fight. you cared not only about your territory, but the wellbeing of the autumn court as a whole. it was the sexiest thing he had ever seen.

eris said as much, turning on that infamous charm that made every maiden in the fox's den swoon. you had looked him up and down before humbling him with an apathetic stare. "you're going to have to try harder than that, high lord."

no matter what eris did, you seemed to be utterly unimpressed by his efforts. what he didn't know was that you didn't want this suave and seductive high lord. what you really wanted was the shy and sensitive eris who used to help you make mud pies and pick wildflowers for you during your walks through the godswood. your one friend in the forest house who made you laugh with his sarcasm and sassy little quips.

that was the boy that you'd fallen in love with back then. not the smooth stranger who used his charm like a shield, protecting him from ever really getting close to anyone. until he showed you the eris that five year old you had adored, you had no interest in starting anything with this stranger.

that stranger stared at his reflection, smoothing down a perfectly tailored crimson doublet as he frowned into the mirror. though eris was impeccably dressed, there was still the matter of his hair to contend with. ever since your comment, he had stopped cutting it and his locks had once again grown past his shoulders. the problem was that he had gotten so used to it being short and braiding it took longer than he remembered. he examined his reflection once more, straining to see if his attempt at a half braid looked acceptable.

"that's an interesting style," a familiar voice called from the doorway. eris turned to find you staring at him with a bemused smile. you were dressed in scarlet, looking like a living flame flickering in the dim hallway. the sounds of music and livery echoed from the grand ballroom, indicating that he was more than fashionably late.

"though it's more of a knot than a braid."

the high lord sighed. "it's entirely your fault, you know. i wouldn't have grown it out if it weren't for you." he set down his brush. "now you've come to mock my pain."

"i'm not mocking," you said, striding into the room like you owned it. "i simply don't understand how six year old eris possessed more proficient braiding skills than this."

"six year old eris also used to hide in the cupboard from his governess. i don't think he should be making any crucial decisions now."

you stopped behind him, looking at your reflections in the mirror. a small smile bloomed on your lips as though you were recalling the memory.

"you seem to forget that i was in that cupboard right beside you." eris chuckled, remembering the way the two of you used to giggle in the dark as his governess searched for him in a panic. "if you ask me, six year old eris made perfectly good decisions and he certainly wouldn't have forgotten how to do a mermaid braid."

"mermaid braid," eris repeated. "you thought me how to do that, didn't you?"

"i did. though you almost tangled my doll's hair so badly that it was nearly unsalvageable." you rested your hands on the chair's headrest and that unmistakable delicious smell filled his senses, like breathing in the crisp autumn air. "would you like a refresher, high lord?"

"promise you won't exact revenge on your doll's behalf?"

you smirked. "i'll try my best not to succumb to temptation."

"good enough for me." eris looked up, his amber eyes glowing like honey against the faelights.

the high lord hesitated for a moment. never in the entirety of his immortal life had he allowed anyone else to touch his precious hair, but this was the first conversation in months that you'd actually smiled and joked with him. maybe he had approached this all wrong. when you first met, you hadn't befriended him because he was the high lord's heir. you had never cared about his status or title. the thing that brought you together was the fact that you could truly just be yourselves around each other. not the future high lord or the duke's daughter. just eris and y/n.

perhaps he needed to take a cue from that eris.

"may i?" you asked, bringing him out of his thoughts.

eris took a deep breath. he could do this. he could be vulnerable. "yes. yes, please."

you smiled and those dimples he loved so much made an appearance. eris was simply mesmerized as you brushed his hair, working through the tangles that he'd undoubtedly caused from his failed braiding. you worked in silence, your features pinched in intense concentration as you took sections of his hair and crossed them into one another. eris watched all of this through the mirror, content to sit back and allow himself to enjoy the feeling of your fingers gently tugging at his scalp.

it felt nice. for once, eris let his guard down and just enjoyed the moment for what it was. a friend helping a friend.

"all done," you announced proudly.

eris ran his fingers through the intricate braids you had woven into his hair. "thank you, y/n." he looked up at your reflection, swallowing thickly. he had already been vulnerable once tonight, might as well try for a second. "i've missed this," he said wistfully. "just being us."

there was a soft expression on your face as you met his gaze in the mirror. "you know you can always be yourself around me, eris."

"i know," eris responded. "six year old me remembers."

a rush of satisfaction flooded him as you smiled shyly. "we should get going. the court will start to wonder where their high lord is."

"wait," eris said, catching you by the wrist. you watched as he opened one of his drawers. in his hand was a small bouquet of wildflowers tied together with twine. "i was walking through the godswood and these wildflowers made me think of you. i remember how much you loved them when we were younger."

"i still do," you admitted, smiling as he offered you the flowers. "thank you, eris."

eris flushed, nodding as he watched you pluck one of the stems. you reached for his braid and weaved a wildflower through his hair. "it's perfect."

he offered you his arm and grinned. a genuine, bashful grin that you hadn't seen since you were five years old. "shall we?"

for a second, you saw a glimpse of the boy you'd fallen in love with. underneath the facade, the eris that you adored was still there.

you nodded, taking his arm and preparing yourself for whatever the night might bring. "we shall."

[readerthatreadsss]

Sweet Fantasy | Dean Winchester

GIF by born-to-be-his-baby88

(gave myself an actual pat on the fucking back for finding this gif like y'all are gonna see how perfect it is in a second!)

Pairing: Dean Winchester x fem! reader

Word Count: 3.9k

Summary: Dean won't eat his vegetables...until you offer to cash in on a very recent fantasy of his, that is.

Warnings [18+ MINORS DNI]: P*rn w/ some solid plot action actually, a bit of domestic fluff sprinkled in, reader and Dean are married (don't know if that's a warning but you should know?), reader dresses up in a sexy Zorro costume with the hat and mask included, handcuffs (Dean receiving), mentions of a safeword but not used, fingering/masturbation (reader receiving), oral sex (brief Dean receiving), a whole lotta teasing (Dean receiving), p in v sex (cowgirl, missionary), unprotected sex (wrap your willy before you fuck her silly!), dirty talk, switch! Dean, switch! reader, very vocal Dean, brief choking (Dean receiving), creampie.

A/n: Hey! Sorry for disappearing for 3 months again...So classes finished almost 2 months ago and I've been wracking my brain about what to post. I tried finishing some of my drafts and it just wasn't working for me idk. Then, like any normal person, I was randomly watching some SPN bloopers this morning and it got to a scene where Dean said sometimes he wants to get spanked during sex by a girl wearing a Zorro mask and my brain ran with that shit IMMEDIATELY. Now, I'm so sorry I couldn't actually write him actually getting spanked without it sounding corny and just wrong to me? But I did write all of this in 7 hours without stopping so I'm honestly proud of it regardless.

Enjoy...

It was a Sunday evening in the bunker, meaning you were responsible for dinner. With that task came the additional task of getting Dean to eat whatever vegetables you cooked without complaining and engaging in a rant that would end with him calling himself the “meat man”.

It’s not that you were concerned about Dean's weight or appearance, after 7 years of marriage you were confident that there was nothing in the world that could make you love Dean Winchester any less. But having a steady diet of beer, beef, and pie was a surefire way to kill any man of Dean’s age faster than any monster or demon.

And God knows you’d do anything to ensure he didn’t die before his time.

Hell, you have before.

Which is why you made Dean agree to eat a side of only vegetables with whatever meat he wanted at least once a week. This week it was string beans and sautéed mushrooms, aka his least favorite vegetable.

But you didn’t have the time to make the 45-minute drive to the grocery store earlier that day so he would have to deal.

Or you wish he would deal…

“Mushrooms? Baby come on,” he complained when you placed his plate before him.

“Hey, it’s all that was left in the fridge. Eat up,” you shrugged, placing a kiss on the crown of his head.

“You know, we could always do no vegetables,” Dean offered with a wide grin.

You chuckled and used a finger to squish his stubbled cheek. “You wish, Winchester.”

He sighed in defeat and turned to pick up his fork.

You looked to make sure Sam was out of earshot before leaning down to where your lips grazed Dean’s ear. “Tell you what, if you eat those vegetables I’ll do that thing you told me about…later” you whispered.

Dean’s eyes lit up immediately, “The thing?” he harshly whispered.

You nodded with a smile.

“Costume and everything?” He made a gesture with his hands.

“Yup, I’ve been hiding the costume for weeks.”

“I’m game” Dean agreed, digging into the mushrooms first.

You turned away to share your own plate with a smile.

“I’m gonna go grocery shopping later,” Sam announced as he sat beside Dean with his plate. He met your eyes, “Anything else you forgot to put on the list?”

“Yeah stop at the liquor store and grab me a bottle of red? I ran out,” you answered sitting across from the boys with your plate.

Sam grabbed a pen and a piece of folded paper from his pocket and added it to his list, “Yeah, no problem. What brand again?”

You swallowed a piece of your chicken with a smirk. “I’m sure you already know seeing as you’re the one who emptied the bottle to the very last drop,” you addressed Sam.

His pen slipped from his grip, his green eyes widening to meet your narrowed ones.

“You drink red wine?” Dean pointed at Sam in disbelief as a laugh rumbled in his chest.

“How did you know?” He asked you, ignoring Dean’s quip.

“I saw you passed out in the library clutching the bottle the other night.”

“Listen Dean finished all the beer and it was the first thing I saw,” he defended himself.

“Oh, you’re getting more creative with your excuses. I'm impressed!” You gushed, sarcasm evident in your tone, “What was it again last week? ‘Oh Eileen wanted to taste some’ " you mimicked his gruff tone causing him to roll his eyes and Dean’s laughter to grow louder. “-when we all know that Eileen is a white wine type of gal.”

"I-" Sam tried to come up with a retort but eventually gave up. “Whatever.”

“Yeah pick up 3 bottles this time in case Eileen wants a taste,” you replied with a grin.

“Three bottles?!” He exclaimed.

“You aren’t the one paying for it, genius,” you reminded him, referring to the unlimited card Charlie hacked for you all those years ago.

“Yeah but I’m gonna have to lug it up here,” Sam mumbled as he stuck his fork into his chicken.

Dinner continued mostly in silence with Sam thinking about the two lousy trips he’d have to make between his car and the kitchen once he returns with the groceries, Dean thinking about the reward he’ll be getting for the vegetables he’s actually grown used to eating, and y/n thinking about all the ways she’s gonna make Dean squirm later.

~ ~ ~

Hours had passed since dinner and Sam was now on his way to the grocery store leaving just you and Dean in the bunker.

To say he was excited would be an understatement.

Dean first told you about this fantasy of his after a case you had months ago required you to take a trip to an adult costume shop to question the owner. It took mere seconds for the image of you in the very specific costume to cross his mind after laying eyes on the packaging.

You laughed at the idea when he told you and silently decided you would try and find the costume.

Of course, he didn’t believe you would actually indulge him but you were actually excited too. Costumes and toys weren’t new territory for you and Dean but they were few and far between with your unpredictable hunting schedules.

Dean now sat at the edge of your shared bed wearing pajama pants and a t-shirt waiting for you to return like you had promised.

But it had been almost 20 minutes since you left to get changed and his patience was wearing thin. He was seconds away from getting up and coming to see if you needed help or if you were even hurt.

Which you predicted would be the case.

So you had been standing out of sight by the doorway for less than a minute now waiting for him to try and leave.

“Damnit,” Dean eventually gave in to his worries and began to make his way to the door.

You smirked once you heard his determined steps drawing closer.

Dean’s eyes widened once you spun from your hiding spot against the wall to stand before him. “Looking for me?”

You watched his throat bob and his pupils dilate as he took in your full look.

Atop your head and face rested a sexy black Zorro mask and matching hat. You were also wearing a black sleeveless leather top that stopped in your midriff region and had strings tied between your breasts that allowed a whole lot of cleavage to be on display. The leather skirt that accompanied was low-waisted and stopped at your upper thigh, matching the black thong you were wearing beneath.

You had stretched the thin straps of the thong along your hips above the skirt for added flair.

In your right hand, you held a fake silver sword similar to the one Zorro held in the movies, and hanging from the left side of your skirt were two handcuffs ready and waiting to be used.

You were sex on knee-length boot-covered legs.

Dean felt himself growing hard already.

You bit your bottom lip at the way your husband’s eyes roamed your body, hoping the dark red lipstick covering it was as transfer and waterproof as the box advertised.

“You look...stunning,” Dean marveled. The model on the packaging of the costume didn’t come close to how it looked on your body.

Your heart swelled at the compliment before remembering the persona you had practiced for the night ahead. “Oh I know,” you took a step closer and leaned against the doorway. You pointed the sword in Dean’s direction. “Why are you still dressed, Dean?” you asked with furrowed brows and a smile.

A chuckle almost left your lips at the sight of Dean fumbling with his pant strings and tripping over his own legs to send the pajama bottoms flying over to a random corner while throwing off his t-shirt with record speed.

He stood before you in only his boxers, his enjoyment of your costume evident by the bulge in the center.

“Get on the bed.” You told him, your tone not excessively commanding but sexy enough to make him obey immediately.

“Yes ma’am,” he smirked, quickly sitting and sliding up to the headboard of the bed.

You walked further into the room and placed your sword down before climbing onto the bed and slowly crawling to where Dean sat. His green eyes followed your every move as you moved to straddle him, but not fully.

You then grabbed the two pairs of handcuffs attached to your hips and twirled them around your fingers. “How you feeling Dean?” you checked in, your hips hovering above his thighs, making sure to not touch his erection just yet.

“Oh, I feel great. Real great. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this great,” he nodded eagerly as you cuffed each of his hands to each bedpost, getting a face full of your boobs in the process.

"You sound nervous," you teased him, "Am I making you nervous baby?"

"Me? Nervous? Pfft!"

You scoffed, not believing him one bit. "What's our safe word?" you asked him gently.

Dean leaned forward as much as his restraints would allow to press a sweet kiss against your stomach. " 'Oklahoma', baby," he grinned.

You then let your clothed ass sink down on his covered erection. Dean groaned and tried to reach for your hips instinctively only to meet the restriction of the handcuffs. “I hope they aren’t too tight 'cause they’re gonna be on there for a while,” you nearly bust out laughing at the look Dean gave you.

“A while?” he repeated, dreading not being able to touch you at a time like this.

You shrugged, “If you behave I might change my mind.”

Before he could argue further, you leaned forward and connected your lips in a searing kiss. His breath was hot against your face as your lips drifted to his neck while your hands found themselves in his hair.

A breathy groan slipped past his lips when you nipped a specific spot beneath his ear lobe. “You’re so loud. Maybe I should’ve bought a muzzle,” you whispered in his ear teasingly, feeling his dick jump beneath you at your words. “I'll remember that next time,” you replied to his body's response.

“Baby, do you have any idea how amazing you look? ” Dean gushed, struggling against his restraints as you began to grind your hips against his covered cock.

You smiled and met his lips in a kiss once again. He slipped his tongue between your welcoming lips, allowing his taste to flood your mouth. You pulled away seconds later, nipping his bottom lip, and removed yourself from his lap.

He watched nervously, awaiting your next move while you scooted farther away from him along the bed. You slowly slipped off your boots, your confidence unwavering as you held Dean’s hungry stare.

He watched you use a hand to hold yourself upright before spreading your legs open to reveal the lace thong covering your already-drenched pussy. “Are you about to..." he trailed off, jaw clenched as he spoke.

"Hmm mhm. And there is not a damn thing you can do about it...except watch," you slowly removed your thong and threw it at Dean’s lap. He immediately became hyperaware of the feeling of the wet lace draped over his dick.

You slowly brought two fingers up to your lips and sucked them even slower to coat them in your saliva and give Dean a show before bringing them down to where you needed them the most. You began slow ministrations against your aching clit, pulling moans from yourself that made Dean impossibly harder.

He took a deep breath at the sight, imagining his own fingers parting your folds and rubbing at your swollen clit.

“You are a menace,” Dean laughed in obvious distress, licking his dried lips. He couldn’t handle watching you touch yourself without being able to touch you any longer so he looked away, swallowing harshly at the sound of your wetness against your fingers.

“Look at me Dean,” you mewled, continuing to rub your pussy in small quick circles. He turned reluctantly, watching as you slowly pushed two fingers inside your dripping hole. “See this, baby? It’s all for you,” you said, melting into a moan when your fingers grazed a spot inside you that drew your orgasm closer.

“I gotta taste you, baby,” Dean pleaded, “Open these and let me taste you, please,” he rattled the handcuffs against the bedposts.

The pure agony in his voice had your fingers and breathing speeding up and soon your climax was approaching. Dean’s breathing picked up in response. “Fuck, Dean I’m gonna cum,” you moaned, pressing a thumb to your clit while your fingers kept working inside of you to bring you to the edge.

A thin layer of sweat appeared on Dean’s forehead as he watched you keenly. He bit his bottom lip hard enough to draw blood, his self-control draining by the second.

Your eyes remained open and locked onto his, your moans growing louder and borderline pornographic. You were putting on a show and he was losing his mind.

“I’m cumming, fuck-“ you panted as your first orgasm of the night slammed into you and caused you to make a small mess on the sheets beneath you. Your body shook sporadically with aftershocks of your own work

Dean’s head hung low. “Jesus baby,” he huffed, his own voice strangled, “you’re trying to give me a heart attack aren’t you?”

You smiled as you crawled back up to sit on Dean’s lap, taking your thong and throwing them somewhere unseen. “Ehh maybe,” you replied coyly, straightening your hat and mask. “And since you behaved so well,” you reached a hand down to touch his clothed cock, “I think you deserve a reward,” you pressed a quick kiss to his lips.

Dean allowed you to pull his boxers off his body, watching you wrap a hand around his painfully erect cock. “Fuck,” he groaned at the feeling of your hand wrapped around him.

You slid down to where you could lay flat on your stomach between his legs and leaned down to briefly swirl your tongue around where precum was gathered at the tip.

“Take the hat off and look at me pretty girl,” Dean said.

You complied, throwing the hat off to the edge of the bed before diving down and licking his tip once again, but this time keeping your eyes locked onto his.

“Holy shit,” Dean groaned, his hips twitching upwards. You then opened your mouth and wrapped it around his length, slowly sliding down until your nose was nuzzled at the base, staying there for a few seconds before coming back up for air. “Hell yes, baby that's perfect,” he panted as you began sucking faster along his length, a few lone tears flowing from beneath the mask from the familiar stretch of his cock in your throat.

Your head continued to bob up and down Dean’s length for some time, drawing shallow moans of your name and grunts from him before you finally let up and pressed one last kiss against the side of his cock.

Dean’s chest heaved as you licked your lips and used a hand to wipe your face clean. “Goddamnit," he whined at your sudden stop, feeling his impending orgasm return to its hiding place.

You grabbed your previously discarded Zorro hat and placed it back on your head before hiking your skirt up to allow you more room to move your legs around Dean’s lap. “Can’t have you cumming before I’m done with you sweetheart,” you replied while untying the strings of your top and removing it.

The keys to the handcuffs dropped onto Dean’s lap from where you previously hid them in your top. You had honestly forgotten you put them there but it just presented yet another opportunity to get Dean all whiny and desperate, which was a rarity that you rather enjoyed.

“Oops would you look at that,” you exclaimed playfully, taking them up and dangling them in front of Dean’s eyes.

"Alright baby you broke me. Come on, just let me go, and trust me, I will make it worth your while,” Dean bargained with you.

"As enticing as that sounds," you paused and brought your hand up to caress Dean’s cheek before pulling him in for a sloppy kiss. You pulled away with a grin. “I love hearing you beg, so no,” you whispered against his lips.

Dean loudly groaned watching you gently place the keys down on the closest nightstand. “Shit,” he shut his eyes.

But they shortly shot open once you used a hand to grip his length and bring it between your dripping folds.

A pleased hum left your lips once the tip glazed your clit causing Dean to swallow harshly. “Aren’t you sick of teasing me,” he hissed.

Fuck no.

You used a free hand to grip the back of his hair. “Take a deep breath for me, Dean,” you told him, feeling his chest rise against yours soon after. And as it fell, you slipped his cock inside your entrance.

You slowly sank down onto his length until it was fully buried inside you, groaning at the welcomed stretch.

“I love those sounds you make for me,” Dean whispered against your lips.

“Oh you’re gonna be making some of those sounds too,” you smirked, clenching around him causing a sharp grunt to reach your ears.

You guided your hips up and down Dean’s length, riding him at a quickening pace. He jerked his hips upward to match your cadence drawing a gasp from your lips when his cock hit that spot inside you that had you seeing stars. “There you go baby,” Dean groaned, “you look so fucking good riding my cock.”

The hat and mask from your costume managed to stay in place as you slammed down on Dean’s cock repeatedly. And it was an image that he would never forget.

Your hand released Dean’s hair and instead found itself wrapped around Dean’s neck as you rode him faster. A whine that shot straight to your cunt escaped his lips when your fingers slightly tightened their grip around his throat.

You suddenly slowed down and instead began to grind your hips against his, moaning loudly when your clit grazed his pelvis. “I’m gonna cum again shit!” You threw your head back in obscene pleasure, releasing Dean's throat and holding onto his shoulders to steady yourself.

“Fuck yes. Use my cock to get off, sweetheart,” Dean urged you on before leaning forward to suck one of your nipples as best as he could.

This soon pushed you over the edge, your climax tearing a scream from within you as your hips faltered around Dean’s cock, your hat flying off your head once more. Dean relished in the way your cunt pulsed around him from your orgasm as well as the look of sheer pleasure that crossed your face at that moment. “You’re so beautiful,” he smiled up at you, meaning every word.

You kissed his forehead with a smile and reached for the handcuff keys. “I think I’ve tortured you enough,” you freed his right hand first, pressing a kiss against his wrist, then did the same to his left, “This is supposed to be a reward after all.”

Dean’s lips curved into a smirk at his newfound freedom. “Yes it is, sweetheart.”

A surprised yelp left your lips when Dean gripped your hips and flipped you onto your back. He grabbed your hat and placed it on his own head before sending you a wink. “And I’m not feeling rewarded just yet.”

You nearly came just from the sight of Dean hovering above you in only that hat. “We’re gonna have to talk about my sexy cowboy fantasy when we’re done here,” you raised a brow.

A low chuckle echoed from Dean’s chest. He reached up and tipped his hat in your direction, “yes ma’am.” He replied with a deep southern drawl.

Your pussy clenched instantly.

“That was hot as fuck,” you breathed.

“Thank you darlin’ “ he replied in the same accent with a wink.

You giggled before pulling him down for a kiss. He pulled away and touched the mask still wrapped around your eyes. “And thank you for doing this for me, baby,” he smiled down at you, “It was so so much better than I imagined.”

“It was definitely my pleasure,” you nodded happily, feeling his hands glide down your sides.

“Was?” He protested playfully. “The night is still young, sweetheart!” He threw your legs over his shoulder causing you to exclaim at the sudden move. He placed a kiss on each of your thighs and lined himself up with your entrance before entering you once again.

“FUCK” you cried out at the sudden intrusion, feeling your eyes well up with tears of pleasure in record time.

Dean pulled out and slammed into you once again, his grip on your legs tightening as he eased into a quick pace.

“YES-Dean holy shit,” you moaned, eyes quickly rolling to the back of your head and back arching up and off the bed as he fucked you with reckless abandon.

“How’s it feeling baby?” Dean said, bringing a hand down to play with your clit.

“So good, Dean, so fucking good,” you rambled, your skin buzzing with pleasure, “Harder, please, I'm almost there,” you found yourself begging.

“You gonna cum for me already pretty girl?” He sped up his slaughter on your cunt, "Maybe I should make you beg for it?" his voice was low and demeaning but only spurred you on more.

You shook your head adamantly while your hands fumbled around Dean's waist for a solid grip. So he simply released your legs and grabbed your hands before holding them down above your head, driving his cock into you even harder at this new angle.

“Dean!" you broke off into a strangled moan.

Dean’s lips attacked your open neck. “I wish we had neighbors so they could hear you screaming my fucking name,” he all but growled as the sounds of your moans and skin against skin plagued the air.

You came with a yell seconds later, your release coating Dean’s cock and the sheets. “That’s my girl. There you go baby,” he released your hands and held your face, guiding you down from your high.

Your hands gripped Dean’s hair harshly as you kissed his lips and his hips stuttered, his cum coating your insides soon after. You swallowed his grunts as his cock continued to leak and twitch inside you.

Broken pants befell both your lips in between sloppy kisses while your orgasms passed and your shared spend flowed between your legs. You eventually released his lips for air, “That was-“

“-Incredible,” he mirrored your thoughts, removing your hat from his head. Dean used a hand to remove your mask and brush a few strands of hair behind your ears once he moved to lie down beside you.

“Hi,” you grinned in awe of the man you called your husband. “Hey sweetness,” he grinned back, adoration evident in his deep green eyes.

Your cheeks flushed as he pressed a kiss against your forehead. He quickly grabbed his previously discarded t-shirt and used it to clean up the mess between your legs before throwing it in the laundry basket nearby.

You snuggled into his side once he returned to the bed.

“So uhh what was it you were saying about your cowboy kink?” Dean smugly asked after a few seconds.

“Goddamnit Dean,” you shamefully groaned into his side, gaining a chuckle from him.

ANDDD SCENE!

Hope it wasn't too bad seeing as I gave up on editing it like 75% through it.

Tbh I highly doubt more than 20 people are gonna see this because I have no idea how strong the Supernatural fandom's presence is on here, which also means that I don't know if anyone has used a plot like this one before so don't be afraid to let me know if that is the case and I will make changes as I see fit!

(Also let me know if you want a sequel one shot with sexycowboy! Dean and reader. Or feel free to make any other requests)

Reblogs, likes, and comments are ALWAYS appreciated :)

divider creds : @cafekitsune

[morganski-19]

The One with the Trifle Pt 2

part 1 here

A little while later, Robin and Eddie return, bringing the trifle with them. Argyle, thoroughly stoned, walks over to it, leaning down to stare at it eye level.

“Looks great, dude. What is it?”

“English trifle. I found this old cookbook in a thrift shop and thought it looked good. And there was no oven involved, so nothing is burnt this year,” Robin points the last question at Steve, glaring at him.

Steve presses his lips together, trying not to say anything bad. “Yep, nothing looks burnt.”

“Just wait until you taste it,” she excitedly goes on. “I tried everything separately and it was so good, so I’m excited to see what it tastes like all together.”

“What’re the layers?” Argyle asks, still staring at the dessert.

“Lady fingers, then jam, custard, that I made from scratch, raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef sauteed with peas and onions. More custard, a layer of bananas, and then some whipped cream. Weird right?”

Nancy chokes on her drink. “Weird. What’s weird about it?”

“The beef. Everything else is so sweet it just seems out of place. But then I was like, there’s a mince meat pie. And pies are sweet, so this is just normal for them I guess.”

Eddie claps his hands, getting everyone attention. Totally not nervous about all of this. “Yeah, so normal. Is the rest of the food ready? I am starved.”

They all sit down at the table and have their dinner. The rest of the food is very good, no complaints there. They play cards and talk in between dinner and dessert, after everyone helps clean up of course. Eddie might convince Argyle to give him a joint, just to prepare a little bit. Also, he hates Thanksgiving, so it helps.

“Remind me again why you hate Thanksgiving,” Nancy asks after crushing them all in a round of poker.

“My dad liked to think that you couldn’t get arrested on holidays, which isn’t true. When I was nine, he stole a car, immediately got caught, then got arrested. Happened again when I was twelve. And then I think again when I was fifteen, but I was living with Wayne at that point. Every year, people get together to be thankful, while I get reminded of my dick of a father. Who is probably in jail again for doing something stupid.”

Jonathan winces. “That sucks, man.”

Eddie shuffles the cards. “Yeah. But my uncle’s great though. More of a father to me than my own father was. Would have invited him if he didn’t already have plans.”

They play a few more rounds, Eddie able to sneak in win when Nancy gets dealt a bad hand. Jonathan even wins once, even though he’s a bit confused at what game they’re really playing.

Then it’s time, and Robin starts to plate the trifle. Taking a big spoonful of all the layers and handing them to everyone. Finally sitting down with her own piece, with a huge smile. Steve takes a deep breath in preparation. Nancy gives Steve one last dead glare. One that says both “this is your fault” and “if you mess this up, I will kill you”.

Jonathan pokes around the plate with his fork, inspecting it. Argyle looks actually excited to eat this and Eddie is just twirling the fork around in his hand waiting for someone else to eat it first.

“Steve, I want you to take the first bite,” Robin says, ever so sweetly. With just a touch of malice in her voice. “Since you always doubt my cooking so much.”

Steve nods, pained. “Right. Yeah, of course.” He takes a forkful of the trifle, skirting around the beef.

“You missed a whole layer there. I want to make sure you eat all of it.” Robin smirks at him. Steve can’t tell if it’s because she’s hiding something or because she’s made about his earlier comments. Mind too filled with the anxiety over eating this.

Steve stares at the dessert before his eyes, taking a deep breath before giving Robin a pained smile. Then eating the trifle, trying his hardest not to gag. “It’s great, Rob,” he says, trying to swallow. “So good.”

“Alright, now the rest of you.”

Nancy takes a breath before just shoving a forkful in her mouth. Looking like she barely chews before swallowing it. Jonathan eats it like anything else, looking partially confused, but taking a moment to register what all the flavors are. Argyle just keeps eating it.

Eddie doesn’t eat it at all.

“Steve’s right, probably the best thing you’ve made,” Nancy acts better than Steve did. “You should send me the recipe.”

“Yeah, dude,” Argyle says, plate now half empty. “This is really good.”

Robin bursts out laughing, causing the rest of the table to look at her. “I can’t believe you actually ate it. Oh my God.”

“What?” Steve says, half choking on the water he was drinking.

“I didn’t actually think that beef belonged in the trifle. Do you all really think I’m that dumb?”

Jonathan looks up from his plate, eyes squinted. “What’s going on?”

Argyle leans over. “Not sure but Robin’s laughing a lot.”

Robin stands up, taking her plate and throwing her piece in the trash. “Hold on a second.”

Eddie stands after she leaves, taking his own plate and throwing out his untouched piece of the trifle. “I need you all to know, that I had no idea about this before today. And if it weren’t for Nancy making fun of the way I slice green beans-.”

“Because no one slices green beans that way,” Nancy exclaims.

“I do,” Eddie says dramatically. “Wayne has done it for me that way since I was a kid and wasn’t the biggest fan of green beans. If you want them cut a certain way, you should tell people.”

Nancy pauses. “That is a good point. I’m sorry for getting mad at you.”

“Thank you.” Eddie sees Jonathan and Argyle still eating the not real trifle. “Oh guys, you don’t have to eat that. It was a prank.”

“What?” Jonathan asks, still not sure what’s going on.

Argyle leans over again. “This was a prank, we don’t have to eat this anymore.”

“But it’s dessert.”

“Yeah, but not the real dessert.”

Jonathan is not putting the pieces together. “Where’s the real dessert then?”

“Don’t know, man. It isn’t here yet.”

Nancy stands, taking the two plates in front of them. “I’m just going to move these.”

“Jesus, dude, how much did you smoke?” Steve asks, finally throwing his food away.

Robin comes back into the apartment with another trifle in her hands, this one beef free. She places it in the center of the table, smiling maniacally. “This is the real trifle.”

The real trifle looks exactly like a picture of one would. Layers of lady fingers, jam, custard, and fruit. All perfectly even, with not a speck of beef in sight.

“That,” Nancy starts, still in shock, “looks really good.”

“I know, right.” Robin sits back down in her seat. “And it really wasn’t that hard either. The only thing that I had to make myself was the custard, which was actually pretty easy.”

“I knew that’s not how cookbooks worked,” Steve says annoyed, glaring at Eddie.

Eddie shrugs, “It was part of the bit.”

Argyle stares at the new trifle. “I think you’re missing a layer there, dude.”

“No, she added an extra layer before,” Eddie explains. “This one is the correct one.”

“If you say so.” Argyle leans back into the chair, still skeptical.

The real trifle is dished out and eaten pretty fast. Everyone apologizing to Robin for doubting her. She sits with a smug look on her face for the rest of the night.

Tag list (let me know if you want to be added or taken off) @slowandsteddie, @annieofhearts, @cacdyke, @ubpd, @captain--low, @thespaceantwhowrites, @goodolefashionedloverboi, @anne-bennett-cosplayer, @lunaticparisianlady, @apomaro-mellow, @dolphincliffs, @dragonmama76, @maggiebug417, @stevesbipanic, @fearieshadow, @eightpackdiaz, @au79burger @bookworm0690 , @practicallybegging, @potato-of-the-lord, @autumncrocusandladybug, @estrellami-1

[prettyboykatsuki]

i'm not sure i'd count it as from my culture, but my grandma used to make us dutch babies for breakfast when we stayed over at her house growing up! although they are of german origin, and her side of the family is german, so you never know.

anyway, they're super easy:

preheat oven to 425*F

combine 1 cup flour, 1 cup milk, and 3 large eggs

melt 4 tablespoons butter in a cast iron skillet

pour the batter into the skillet, and bake at 425 for 20 minutes or until golden brown at the edges

lower the temperature to 300 and bake another 5 minutes. serve in slices, like a pie

the edges and center should be puffed up into peaks, and they will deflate quickly once removed from the oven, so it's better served hot.

you can add anything you want, like veggies and cheese, or cinnamon and sugar. we normally had them with maple syrup:) they're like very dense pancakes! total nostalgia food for me<3

A WHOLE RECIPE!!!!!!!

dutch babies!! i feel like ive heard of them but at the same time unfamiliar.... it sounds very pantry friendly which . HUGE FAN!!!! i just looked them up and the way they puff up reminds me a lot of yorkshire puddings wsdkjsdkjd but that is unrelated it is simply the visual

i love pancakes also.... like love ill rmb i can make them at home and eat them for a week straightfsdlsdl. mayhaps i can try this for breakfast tmmrw... i would love for some fruit also....WILL BE LOOKING INTO IT.. EITHER WAY THANK U!!!

[annefic]

Ok so

I made that devilled pheasant recipe that was reported to be Anne's favorite in the issue of Country Life she guest edited (but with chicken rather than pheasant as it's a difficult bird to find around here out of season and expensive any time of year, and I didn't want to waste "shipping it in" money on something I might not even like)

Some thoughts:

I kinda had to guess my way through this because the recipe is super vague. No oven temperatures, very little indication of how long things should be allowed to cook, and based on the video I'm pretty sure the British are working with rather different definitions of "casserole" and "tender" than we are in the US

The spices the bird is boiled in smell divine by themselves, and I've saved the stock because I think it will make a great soup base. I about quintupled the garlic used because northern European recipes and especially British ones never use enough garlic. "One clove" is either a joke or like. Eating whole like a candy once it's dried or roasted amounts, not flavoring a dish to feed four amounts. I used three and also rubbed the meat in garlic powder before I did anything else with the recipe.

By the same token, I think it would materially improve the outcome if the meat were dry rubbed in all the spices (+extra garlic) and allowed to soak them in overnight before beginning the cooking process.

Included in the vagueness - it didn't say whether to keep or chuck the carrot and onions when you drain the meat. I chose to keep and I'm glad I did; the carrot in particular adds a lot to the final product

The only double cream available here comes already stiff... Not paying 15 fucking dollars for enough to have a full metric cup so I used one 6 oz jar and made up the difference with heavy whipping cream. They blended together quickly and easily.

The mango chutney-whipped cream-worcestershire mix used to dress it is... It tastes. It's very fruity and very strong. I think it would be more enjoyable if stood up against the gamey flavor of a pheasant; as it is it's very rich and rather overpowering. Definitely better evenly mixed in rather than slopped on top as the recipe asks, and I think it could stand either more heat or more time in the oven once the meat and cream are added together. (Due to the lack of a temperature in either real or fake units I assumed they meant to heat it in what Americans would call a "warm oven" - 175 to 200°F, not enough for further cooking to really occur just enough to get everything to a warm temperature.)

Overall thoughts: It's more positive than negative for me, but I don't think this is going to be the kind of dish just anyone would instantly fall in love with after the first bite. It's a very unique taste and uses fruit in a way I don't normally see it used with poultry. As I said already, I think the gamier taste of pheasant would probably help this considerably but I don't think that alone is going to make it a perennial favorite. The pheasant crumble pie in the issue Charles guest edited seems to have a more traditional flavor profile and I think that would fall more along my lines of preference - perhaps I shall make it later.

Uhhh, I don't know how to end this soooo

Bird

Frankly, it also looks more appealing mixed together. This has none of the darker more vibrant oranges showing in the picture of the finished dish on the website which is another reason I'm suspicious I didn't get the right idea of what "heat it in the oven for 10 minutes" was actually supposed to mean

[ratsoh-writes]

ayyy come for my lovely Elfie

Normal information first!! :

Elfie Bee Lambent

30 years old !!

they/then , with really cool battle scars on their chest <3

ELFIE!! Is a pottery maker, who has a small shop dedicated to special orders. You want a specific bowl that can hold your spool? Elfie got you. A cup with a specific type of flower / name / or design? They got you! They take commissions all day everyday, the fun part is their signature which is their thumb print at the bottom of all the works!

They are a high school drop out with a small family of just their elderly grandmother. Their parents abandoned the poor soul once they realized they couldn’t afford having Elfie, they grew up with their grandparents and adored picking berries for their grandmother to make pie with!!

their grandfather passed away four years ago and Elfie is still grieving, they often visit their grandmother to support and comfort her when they both need it. They make his favorite pie together on his birthday and eat it.

Elfie lives close to the temple, and uses their free time to 1.play with their reptiles 2. Add more posts to sir veggiescale’s instagram, making “royal decrees” or 3. Exploring the outdoors, Clifford jumping into water? YEAH!! Staring intensely at a new species of magical plants? YEAHHHHH BABY!! Photos of their explorations fill their home walls

Elfie lives alone with their three reptilians, identifying as a nonbinary Demi-sexual adult

they mostly eat out with friends, since they can’t cook for sh*t.

AHA, the first and second layer of my oc’s iceburg is done!! I’m so sad (and kinda fine with) not touching in on their mindset / what drives them. OH forgot to add this so

SOUL TRAITS

Calliope : Main is kindness with justices and bravery , her outburst and always looking for the right thing to do (based on her own morale compass) roots from here meuahaha

Elfie : main trait is perseverance! With hints of integrity and justice as well. They strive to keep going each day, hoping to leave the world a better place then when they found it when they woke up )that’s like the tip of the iceberg, but they have a very light grey morale compass.. 😉

Elfie is a whole vibe. I wanna be their friend 😭😭😭😭

[thessalian]

Thess vs Untenable Situations

I'm trying to figure out how the hell I can explain to my managers (and their managers, frankly) that the current situation is absolutely fucking untenable. And I don't mean from the point of view of "I can't keep doing overtime like this". I mean "my working overtime is insufficient no matter how hard I work". Because seriously? No.

It's not just the fact that Scruffman's away until Thursday. That's a pretty big part of it, because all the lazier habits of my office-bound co-workers are dialled up to 11 when he's not in and they're also picking up some of the things he normally does, but it's not all of it. No, it's the fact that I did some counting towards the end of the standard working day, and calculated that between them, the doctors (however many there were; I did not look into that) dumped a grand total of 301 bits of dictation into the queue. And that's not counting the urgent cases that got done as and when throughout the day. I did all of those, so tack on another ten cases, for a grand total of 311. This is a whole lot of doctors who, between them, are working from just before 8am until just after 6pm every weekday, plus pulling several hours over the weekends. Whereas the secretaries who are in at the moment work at best a standard 9-5 (or 8-4). As it stands, we only have two full-time secretaries devoted entirely to the typing, and they aren't currently, because Scruffman's away. Then we have the two part-timers - one who only works two days a week and desperately wants more hours (but for some reason isn't getting them), and me, who's currently effectively working full-time because of the sheer amount of overtime I've had to pull to keep us from drowning completely.

Of course, it'd be nice if the secretaries that want to meander through the typing queue would just take the longer ones and loaf over those, and leave me to do my speed-demon blitz through the shorter ones, but nope. Nope, they want the shorter ones so they can "still feel productive" because on paper they're doing the same number of cases I am when they meander through short ones and I blitz through long ones as best I can through the mess some of these doctors make of their dictations.

It doesn't help that I am fucking exhausted. My one-hour break between the normal workday and the overtime hours was not spent relaxing or eating or anything, but dealing with my monthly grocery order. Turns out my little intercom / buzzer that lets me let people into the foyer is probably broken, because the grocery delivery guy couldn't even call up to my flat's intercom. He had to call me on my mobile to let me know he was downstairs waiting. And since I couldn't just buzz him in, I had to go hobble downstairs, let him in manually, and then take the stairs to meet him on my floor because I would not fit into the lift with a grown man and a dolly bearing my month's worth of groceries. And then I had to put all that away. Which is a kind of a to-do in a kitchen as small as mine is, I have to say.

I mean, granted, it was a pretty big order this time around. But there are reasons for that. Partly I was running out of a lot of stuff that I don't replace very often - icing sugar, powdered milk, tuna for the tuna broccoli lemon pasta, stuff like that. Mostly it was because there are new recipes. For instance, I have plans in the direction of a white chocolate and raspberry cheesecake - well, assuming that the Amazon guy can get in with the pie plate I ordered. I also ordered ramekins and picked up some ready-made gluten-free puff pastries with a view to making chicken and mushroom pie. And little chocolate dessert pots. And, once my rolling pin finally gets here ... gluten-free pierogis. I have missed pierogis, and apparently while they're a little finicky to make with gluten-free flour, they hold their shape very well while boiling, so hey. Also I found out that gluten-free toad in the hole is pretty easy, so that's another one I got fixings for.

This is very optimistically assuming I have any energy left to me at the end of busy days, honestly. But I do have to make the cheesecake - the best before date on my raspberries is tomorrow and fruits like that have a short shelf life.

So basically all of the everything is fairly untenable just now. Hell, I can't even decide what I want to do about dinner at this point. I had ordered myself a nice steak that I planned to make, but unfortunately they were out of stock so that's my main idea about dinner not going to happen unless I brave the great outdoors. Which I do not have the energy to do, and anyway, I have food at home. It just takes a little more effort than I necessarily wanted to spend at 8:30pm after a hard day and two hours of overtime.

It's fine. I'll cope. Probably the tuna broccoli lemon pasta or something.

[dirigibleplumbing]

I’d love to hear more about your eating “Cas has an eating disorder” Destiel fic if you have a snippet or wanna talk about it 🙂

Thank you!!! I’m excited about this one and am glad people are curious about it.

Like me, this post-Empty human Cas has trouble eating things that aren’t exactly what he wants to eat, and he prefers foods that are the same texture with every bite. Also like me, Cas has a partner (well, at first, a “friend”) whose love language is acts of service and food and is determined to make sure Cas gets enough to eat. 

Unlike me--a vegetarian raised on California cuisine--Cas got his palette from Dean Winchester, and Dean’s the one doing the cooking, so there’s a lot of meat, plus Midwestern US excess and weirdness.

Like I mentioned before, the fic is in the form of recipes, and the thing about recipes is they’re usually in the 1st person. I don’t mind 1st person in fic, but I absolutely get why it bothers a lot of people. (I sometimes write in 1st person and then change it to 3rd person in late drafts.) But I’m committed to the recipe conceit for this one, so it’s gonna stay 1st person.

Recipes so far include:

Bacon Cheeseburger

Cas's Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich

Fried Bologna Sandwich

Blackberry Pie

Shakshuka

Noodles with Cottage Cheese

Persimmon Pudding

Biscuits and Gravy

Chicken Noodle Soup with Noodles Made From Scratch

Cinnamon Rolls and Chili

Grilled Sunflower Heads

Spring Zucchini Kugel

Brisket

Schnitzel

The style of the recipes changes a bit once Dean and Cas get together, move out of the bunker, and start cooking with plants they grew in their garden.

(Anyone who has suggestions for Midwestern and/or Jewish recipes Dean would make should feel free to shoot me an ask!)

And here’s what is currently the very first section/recipe, the Peanut Butter and Jelly Smoothie:

***

Sammy figured it out first, which pissed me off. Couldn’t say why, just seemed like something I should’ve caught. 

I mean, I knew Cas wasn’t eating enough. All sorts of reasons for that, I figured. 

I wouldn’t say so where anyone could hear me, but I thought that it could’ve been—it sounds so fucking stupid, but I thought maybe there was a tiny bit of grace left after all. That he didn’t need to eat. Idiotic, I know. I just hate seeing him have such a rough time, and wanted to pretend he wasn’t. 

Sometimes I think I might’ve sent him away the first time he was human even if Gadreel hadn’t told me to, just so I didn’t have to watch him hurt so much. 

This guy thinks I’m the most selfless person he’s ever met, and that’s how I treat him. 

Point is, Sam spent a whole morning making a dozen different smoothies and having Cas try ‘em until he found one he liked—like, really, really liked. I came in at the tail-end of it and there was green gunk spattered all over the place and it smelled like a lawnmower, but Cas was eating—well, drinking, but it counts as a meal apparently—and smiling for maybe the first time since he got back. 

So the next day when Cas was out with Jack, I had Sam show me what he’d done so I could make it for Cas, too. 

Peanut Butter and Jelly Smoothie

Ingredients: 

Milk, about 1 cup

A handful of fresh baby spinach (Sam made it with kale the first time, but even the baby stuff tastes like grass, if you ask me. I made it for Cas with spinach and it was a lot smoother, for one thing, and Cas said he liked it better. Maybe if you have one of those hipster high-speed blenders you can stick a whole head of kale in, stems and all, and have it come out without little leaf chunks in it, but I have a normal person blender and I say just use the baby spinach.)

2 tbsp rolled oats 

¼ frozen banana (You can freeze ‘em whole, peeled, just make sure they’re broken up before you put ‘em in the blender. That way it won’t make that awful knife-in-the-disposal sound it does when Sam was dropping ‘em in whole.)

½ cup frozen strawberries

Ice, as needed

2 tbsp smooth peanut butter

1 tsp maple syrup

Salt 

This isn’t much milk for a smoothie this size, but Cas likes his smoothies so thick you can barely get ‘em through a straw, so I only add enough liquid that it won’t break the goddamn blender.

Instructions:

Add the spinach to the blender and just enough milk to cover it. Blend it together, starting with low power and working your way up to the highest your blender can go. If you have a regular blender, this is the best way to make sure the greens get broken down small enough to really mix with everything else. 

Add the oats next. Really you can add ‘em whenever, but doing it early keeps it nice and thick and gives you a good idea of how much liquid you’ll need. Blend from low to high. 

Add the bananas and strawberries, along with the rest of the milk. A lotta recipes just tell you to add everything and blend it together. Pretty sure that’s what they call hubris—or maybe it’s having a five hundred dollar blender. Probably the two go hand-in-hand. Just sayin’, the order is important to getting it all smooth, which is the point. S’why it’s called a smoothie. 

Blend low to high. When it’s all combined add the peanut butter, syrup, and salt. Be careful with the salt. You shouldn’t be able to taste the salt, it’s just supposed to make everything else taste better, ‘cause, y’know, it’s salt. It’s a sweet smoothie, but you add salt to cookies, right? Same deal. Until you get used to it add just a little at a time, blend it, and taste it to make sure it’s right. 

If it’s not creamy or cold enough, add some ice. You could add more banana pieces, but Cas doesn’t like the banana to be the main taste. Add more milk if it’s getting too thick to blend. 

Sometimes Cas tells me not to make it with the greens. I just use a lot less than usual and the peanut butter covers it. S’why I got so good at making sure they blend in just right. Cas wasn’t eating a lot of meat, at first, so he really needed the iron ‘n’ all that stuff that’s in green things.

I’m pretty sure the people who say these things are a real meal are all either people who sit in offices all day and don’t burn any calories or people who get paid to tell other people to starve themselves, but Cas will drink this smoothie when he won’t eat anything else, and that goes a hell of a long way.

[shittinggold]

Dashboard osmosis late seasons supernatural?

Oh man - so I stopped watching early in S9, and my memory of anything after S5 is pretty hazy (I have rewatched S1-5 once, the latter seasons not at all), so this is a combination of dashboard osmosis, fractured memories of things I may or may not have seen, and whatever November 5th did to my brain.

So, at the end of S8 all the angels fall out of heaven, right? Because Metatron did a Thing. I've no idea what happened with Metatron after that but I'm gonna assume the brothers killed him, because that's generally how they deal with things, even deity-level-powered villains. I don't know if the angels went back after that - I know there was a civil war which might have been before this? Also at some point all the angels die I think, which leaves Castiel as the last angel. Castiel gets depowered at some point. And some other point becomes God. And dies. And I think becomes evil? It feels like they did everything they possibly could with Cas other than let him be a main character.

I think at this point Cain and Abel (maybe?) show up and Dean gets the Mark of Cain on him which makes him evil. Because of this (or perhaps entirely unrelated) he becomes a demon and we get Demon Dean for a bit which honestly sounds quite cool. Presumably is cured in some manner that sets up the arc of the next season.

The brothers find out that they're the heirs to some secret society called the Men of Letters and get a cool new bunker which means they don't have to shoot on different sets each week which makes the show cheaper and totally ruins its original aesthetic.

Kevin and Felicia Day both get killed off because of course they do. But I think Felicia Day (Charlie?) comes back because she's in the last episode. She also at some points goes to Oz and dates Dorothy. Honestly as far as SPN women go it seems like she does pretty well.

Crowley becomes King of Hell at some point. He also stays alive for ages even though he was never half as interesting as the fandom always thought he was.

Lucifer comes back! And presumably then so does Adam? I assume this means they address the whole "we left our other brother in a hell cage and never mentioned it again" weirdness, but I think it's funnier if I don't. Lucifer hangs out with Sam and maybe posseses Cas? (I've heard the word "Casifer" and assume this is what it means).

The Impala becomes a human in one episode, which is apparently actually a good episode. There's also an episode where Dean is a dog and another one where they're in Scooby-Doo. Honestly I would like to watch these.

There's a new kid called Jack that seems to be like a fourth main character and is Cas' son? Unclear whether this is in any way literal or just that they have a parental relationship. He seems to be around a lot but also is kind of dunked on by the narrative and not given enough attention? I dunno, he's new to me so I don't trust him but I assume there's a reason why people (including you I think!) care about him.

And then uhhhh there's cold static for like three seasons and Cas makes a deal with the Empty (which is like angel afterlife/superhell but is also a person that you can make deals with?) in order to save Jack's life, which means if he gets Perfect Happiness he will go to superhell. His perfect happiness is confessing love to Dean and getting ambiguously no-homoed in return. Later is re-homoed in spanish.

Oh, wait, Chuck is back and is explicitly God! And is evil about it because he has a story and wants Dean and Sam to follow his story but they don't? I'm sure this is either a genius metanarrative or a self-cannibalising mess, no in-between. They kill ChuckGod and save the world/themselves/free will.

Then they go to a pie-eating contest and Dean eats too many pies and then gets killed by a vampire who sticks him with a rusty nail. Sam is sad but goes to have a Normal Life with some woman who doesn't even get a face, let alone a name, and dies 50 years later from terrible prosthetics disease. Dean goes to heaven and his car is there because in the supernatural universe, cars go to heaven but gays don't.

...Until Dean then takes the car and goes back in time with it to makes sure his parents hook up or something? Idk what's happening in the prequel, but it sounds nuts.

And Mischa Collins comes out as straight. Love wins.