#to cis gays and autistic people

[horrorfolk]

"you think you're trans bc you're actually homosexual!" i like men. now what

"then it's a fetish!! you fetishize gay people!!" there are asexual trans people, aro/ace trans people, and a LOT of trans people (myself included, for a while) dont even have sex/masturbate/think about sex bc of dysphoria

"then it's autism!! you're autistic!!!" ????? im not and also WHAT DOES THAT EVEN HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING

like pick a lane already. if it's not these 3 main things you guys argue then what is it? what causes transness? and why does it need to be "fixed"? why is transitioning a BAD thing that no one should do? people get crazy body modifications like literal horn implants in their heads and nobody's trying to outlaw that or call it a "social contagion"

i pass as male even at 5'4" with blue hair and painted nails. no one has even questioned my maleness at school and im completely stealth. I've even shown pictures of myself pre-T to peers like, hey look at this old pic of me. no one bats an eye. ur just too insecure to admit that transitioning works, and it saves lives.

i started T at 21, got surgery at 23, and just like the vast majority of trans people - i was an adult when i transitioned medically. i knew i was trans at 13. transitioning saved my life. literally.

[strangertheories]

non-lgbt neurotypicals after a successful day of telling neurodivergent queer people that their headcanons are secretly ableist and anti-lgbtq

[turnleftaticela]

embarrassingly honest post:

i struggle a lot with the knowledge that i’d be waaaay more likely to achieve a music career if i leaned into the “cool girl” image; if i wrote simpler music and more relatable lyrics with more mainstream production, if i styled myself more femininely and married myself to the piano or the acoustic guitar.

and it’s for this reason that i get filled with anguish when i see someone like clairo succeeding, for example, because i look at her and think “that’s what people want, that’s what people expect, that’s what i could be if i were just a little bit skinnier and a little bit prettier and a little bit abler and a little bit cisser.”

but i’m not that, and i really don’t want to be that, and i can’t pretend to be — even if i tried, which i have, i could never maintain it. so really the only choice i’ve got is to keep doing what i’m doing and hope for the best. practicality wins once again

[ghostbustermelanieking]

any other americans just shriveling up inside at the thought of the future (their personal or otherwise)?

[22degreehalo]

God I fucking wish I could just. believe that things that happen to me matter lol

[anti-terf-posts]

I'm currently watching a YouTube video (link) by Matt Bernstein, a gay man. In the video, they have a guest speaker named Devon Price. The video goes over how "annoying" queers (TikTok enbies, James Charles dupes, autistic queers, neopronouns users, kinksters, etc) are not the reason why queer people don't have the same rights as non-queer people.

at around 4:40, Devon mentions a type of queer protest I've *never* heard of until now. It was called "The Annual Reminder", and it was run by cis white gay men. Essentially it was a reminder to non-queers that gay (gay not queer) men looked like everyone else. they would dress in formal suits and hold signs that reminded the non-queers that they look just like everyone else. and the outcome of these protests? nothing. these protests did NOTHING to help queer rights. It wasn't until stonewall and pride that people started waking up, and I am in shock. Literally how have I never heard about this until now. I feel like it's such an important part of queer history that just gets swept under the rug, and I have a feeling I know why.

The gays that try to erase the loud, flamboyant queers, are the same ones who want to hide the fact that conforming to what the non-queers want us to act like doesn't actually do anything. They want you to believe that hiding your queerness is the way to get our rights, and that THEY'RE the ones we have to thank for what rights we have, when that's just not true. Black trans women, "annoying" twinks, sex workers, people who use controversial labels, QUEERS are the reason why we aren't treated as badly as we were 50 years ago. Instead of bowing down to Blaire White or Arielle Scarcella, thank Sock who listens to My Chemical Romance and uses star/starself pronouns for being openly freaky and queer, because stars the one who is *really* doing good for the community.

[djtommotomlinson]

i just taught an online class with someone who has a phd in child pyschology and believes autism isn't real and gay people have put us all in a prison because we cant even talk about how wrong it is without getting in trouble

a phd in child pychology???? what on earth man i hope she never goes near any children

[carnation-damnation]

THIS IS SUCH AN AWESOME POST NATURE IS HEALING

something about me is i got into sonic in 2020 because my BJF (best job friend) at the time wanted to go see the first movie together. we did, and then we saw it three more times in theaters (before they all shut down because of the pandemic). it was this whole thing, we brought our other friends along for the rewatches and always had a lot of fun.

now, in 2023, i surround myself with people who unironically love it.

i know my experience isn't universal, but overall i've had a very positive experience with sonic. and whenever i see stuff that implies sonic as an interest is "cringe" or whatever, i'm always like "huh?" cuz it's so divorced from the reality i live in.

it makes me sad to think that some people feel ashamed about liking sonic. like, what's there to feel bad about? it's a fun series with tons and tons of content, and i think it's great that it can bring people of all ages together. there's a little something for everyone, even if you don't like EVERYTHING about it.

games, comics, music, books, movies and tv shows, coloring pages and sticker sheets... not to mention all the stuff you can make for yourself, since sonic is a very big open world full of endless possibilities irt fanart and fanfic.

idk what this post is about really. i just think it's pretty cool that when i was at the store earlier today, a kid saw my sonic socks and smiled real wide. cuz that's what sonic is to me. something to share and smile about

[txttletale]

about the "people are allowed to be cis" like i kind of get the optics & context but I do think it's important to recognize that a gender journey can end at the same place it started. Often-times it doesn't because the journey starts due to discomfort with one's gender but in my mind it's the same as questioning any other belief, it's good to do it even if you end up still holding that belief.

The 'problems' faced by cis people who have questioned their gender are not nearly as big as those experienced by trans people but it's still something that happens, particularly among people in trans communities. I think this idea also sort of intersects with the idea of people wanting representation, and the idea of somebody questioning their gender sort of implies they're going to be trans so then there can be disappointment.

Some of this is speculative, and i haven't seen the original post so maybe i'm missing something but your post really hit weird because it's not telling people they can be cis it's saying you can dip your foot in the pool of transgenderism and not go all the way in. Like obviously that's less urgent than people shooting at those in the pool but just dismissing it is kind of weird

people are told it is okay to be cis literally from the moment they are born. i dont want to be harsh but literally everything you're saying could be coming out of the mouth of a conversion therapist -- the current term used to sanitize conversion therapy in the UK is in fact "exploratory therapy". "well we shouldn't rush them into transness we should give them time to decide in case they're actually cis after all" is the #1 talking point undergirding the total annihilation of trans healthcare for young people in the UK. trans people are already told at every single step of the way that it's okay to change their minds and be cis. they are told this by parents and teachers and peers who say "it's just a phase". they are told this by media outlets panicking about """rapid-onset gender dysphoria""". they are told this over and over again by transohobic medical systems that tell them that they should think about whether maybe they're just autistic or gay or they need to have more sex. every single part of our brutally transphobic society is already screaming "IT'S OKAY TO JUST BE CIS" in everyone's ears every second they exist in it. there is never a need to add your voice to that chorus.

[djnusagi]

when I was 12 I learned what trans people were, and it was immediately obvious to me that I was one. not only did I now have a name for the unbearable pain I’d been dealing with for years at that point (gender dysphoria) but I had a possible cure for it (transitioning). I was already speaking to my school counselor regularly, as I was a very obviously autistic child who was prone to frequent bouts of uncontrolled crying and emotional breakdowns. I told her I was trans, and she was immediately accepting, but with some caveats.

it was great that I was trans! she wanted to help me in any way she could. BUT, she frequently told me about her son, a gay cis man who wore women’s clothing basically all the time. he loved being gay and a man but also wearing dresses and makeup. and sure it was GREAT that I was trans, but it would also be great-and in fact EVEN BETTER if I was just a cis male who crossdresses all the time like her son. this had 0 appeal to me. my problem was gender dysphoria, not clothes, and my dysphoria was caused primarily by my social role amongst my peers and my ever changing body. I wanted hormone blockers. I wanted to be a girl. I wanted to transition. I didn’t want to “crossdress”.

she helped me plan what I’d say when I came out to my parents which ultimately didn’t matter. they were mostly just angry and confused. my mom immediately asked if I liked boys or girls. I said “both I think” and she almost fainted.

after the initial shock she got fixated on a possible alternative. maybe I was just a really girly cis boy. maybe we could compromise. I could wear all the dresses I wanted in exchange for never transitioning. she’d be willing to deal with that. I said no. I had next to no interest in wearing dresses. I wanted blockers and then hormones and I wanted to live my life as a (probably somewhat tomboyish) girl. but she insisted up and down for years it’d be better for me to just be a male cross dresser. in fact, that was the more “enlightened” choice. that transitioning was regressive if you really thought about it. and cis male girlyboy crossdressing was the more “progressive” way to be. she wouldn’t stop pushing that. and it never fixed my gender dysphoria. she is now a terf.

since the very moment I came out as trans to anyone I had people telling me it would be better if I was just a cis male crossdresser. and in the 12 years since I have not stopped hearing that line.

[drdemonprince]

I am a trans man and I have lots in common with cis men.

I am a Jewish man, and my “ethnic” white features are the ones that trans men meet with fear and revulsion: hairiness, balding, shortness, and carrying weight in my hips and ass. I look like my father, my grandfather, and my brother. I will not apologize for that.

I am a queer man, and I love and defend my queerness. I get de-gendered and they/themmed because I am expressive, I am dynamic, and I am loud. I love drag, I love to queen out, I love gay mens’ history and culture. I love leather, I love kink, and I love seeing other people like me in those spaces. I love to feel, see, hear, touch and connect with other men— cis and trans.

I am a disabled man. I have that in common with cis men too. Men who are afraid they are not manly enough because they are not physically strong, because they cannot endure hard labor, or work out or play sports. Men who are “weak” for being mentally ill, or autistic, or expressing their emotions at inappropriate times. Autistic men who have “childish” interests and are terrified of being mocked for them, or who can only enjoy what they love “ironically”.

I am on HRT. I have that in common with hundreds of men who have naturally lower testosterone, and older men. I wear a binder, which is something I have in common with men with gynecomastia.

The longer I transition, the more the constellation of traits that make me “clockable” or “non passing” as trans shifts, and takes on new meaning. Yes, I have wide hips, a big ass, I am short, I am queer, I am mentally ill. No, I am not like “the average” man. But I see myself reflected in new places all the time.

I am a person who wields the privileges of whiteness and male gender. I am constantly learning how to be humble, how to let others speak, and how to be in mutuality and support instead of “protective”. I see this same struggle in other men in activism, who have been assumed to be leaders, but now need to learn to follow, and learn to listen.

I am a man, straightforwardly. Other men are my brothers, and I love them. Women are my sisters, and I care for them and want them to walk freely in the world. No person is not my kin, and I want them to be liberated. All our fights are entwined.

Thanks for making the space to share this.

An absolutely beautiful message, thank you.

[officialspec]

can you pleeeeease post your dm sexuality/gender hcs on here.... 🥺 i don't have a twitter but i wanna know. it's like a pandora's box to me now i'm like scratching at the door. let me in

heres the link 2 the thread (mild spoilers btw) ill post a transcript under the cut for ppl who dont have twitter

first off i think laios relationship to sex is super removed for like 50 reasons without even getting into his actual sexuality

he grew up in a place with very repressed ideas about sex and has a lot of fear about asserting his presence in situations

his special interest takes precedent over any social interactions he has and the level of closeness he feels towards people

he has a hard time figuring out his feelings towards other people both bc hes autistic and bc he has freaky deviantart fetishes that make sex in his mind a very abstract concept <- this one is me projecting mostly

that aside, i feel like gender-wise hes attracted to ppl so infrequently it may as well be entirely case-by-case

the idea of him being gay appeals to me from the 'raised with traditional values he Does Not fit into/hasnt begun to question it yet' perspective, i lauve characters who put a lot of stock into performing a role thats expected of them and fail miserably for unknown (gay) reasons

from his perspective tho i dont think he would ever really label himself anything. hes going to pride parades in the shirt+shorts Ally Fit to clap for his friends

hes also 'cis by indifference' imo... i love tmasc laios hcs it just doesnt mesh w his personal history to me. i do think hes got some kind of therian gender thing going on (not trans or nb but a secret third thing) but i cant see him changing anything abt his appearance/pronouns to accommodate that post-canon. hes just doin his thang

falin is in a similar boat for gender. i LOOVE tfem falin but the village repression thing has been bugging at me so i dont think i subscribe to it anymore (canon purist sorry) BUT if u hold that hc i am clapping and cheering regardless

instead i was propagandised to a while back and i LOVEEE the idea that being fused w a male dragon and the residual traits she has after being revived have given her a type of gender euphoria she didnt realise she was missing. a little boygirl swagger if u will

sexuality-wise i also dont think she would care to label herself, shes a lesbian by virtue of only being interested in One woman and zero other people. without marcille i do think shes still exclusively attracted to women, and i like to imagine she might experiment around a bit during her travels post-canon (pre-relationship). hearing abt it might put marcille on the news though

marcille is very simple That is a transfem lesbian. she cant get pregnant, shes obsessed w being femme and all that combined w her half-tallman struggles to be seen as 'properly feminine' by elf standards reads very transfeminine to Me. also her bookboy crush REEKS of comphet its not subtle

i think a more comfortable marcy might have the space to experiment w being elf butch like her manga boys but thats mainly self indulgence for me. utena could have saved her

senshi is gay his whole thing is abt not being able to perform dwarven masculinity to a proper standard (soft hearted, not as strong or rugged as his peers) which is like gaycoding 101. also hes a bear. homosexuality be damned by boy can work a grill

adding onto this i rly think senshi got some type of euphoria from being an elf in the changeling chapters. he was feeling himself so much i think he was using it as an outlet to have fun being a little fem and fruity without needing to justify it. do u understand

i dont have any particular opinions abt him gender-wise beyond that. his bulge is an essential part of his character design but i also saw a transmasc senshi a couple days ago that made me nod my head thoughtfully so i could go either way

chilchuck is cis and bisexual this is just canon. not even just his old man crush on senshi altho i do think thats very funny but they put his ass on a cover themed like hes in a dating sim with all the men and women in the cast and then slapped it in front of a chapter called "bicorn". i simply cant pass up that kind of overt signaling. its so fucking funny what else is there to say truly

izu to ME is a transmasc aroace lesbian (this one has the least basis in canon i just know it to be true) shes a little genderfluid with it nd uses he/she i think. i like to imagine she consistently uses masculine personal pronouns to refer to herself either way tho (boku, ore)

i think izutsumis gender/sexuality is entirely secondary in priorities to her body dysphoria. she has a lot of learning and acceptance 2 do before that kind of self discovery is on the docket and in my mind eschewing gender on some level is part of that. get sillay

shuro is cishet but at least he feels bad about it. next listen listen to me i dont think he would ever actually examine this but i need u to put on ur tin foil hat with me for one second. i think estrogen could have saved her. i have more thoughts on this but im not gonna propagandise too much on this post just know that im right

kabru is a transmasc bisexual this is also practically text. his whole thing of being treated like a doll by milsiril to put in pretty dresses, plus i think it would be pretty easy for him to stealth in the west since tallmen are seen as inherently more masculine than elves

(i also think changing genders is just more common for elves. theyre androgynous enough that it wouldnt be hard and like who in their right miiiiind would be the same gender for 500 years. dwarves too)

i think he started presenting as male socially in the west but didnt need to consider medical transition until he moved to a more mixed culture where other races might see him as a woman

i dont have to explain the bisexual part. have u seen him

namari is a butch bisexual this is just canon straight up. shes not transmasc but i think the default settings for dwarven women is like 4 years of T regardless. shes a hit at all the local cruising spots despite her renfaire nerdisms i know this

and just bc im thinking abt em kiki and kaka are identical and kiki is tfem :} theyre both attracted to women but kaka is a sub so i forgive him

THATS ALL 4 NOW theres a lot of characters so i cant have thoughts abt all of them at once but i hope this was good. im right about everything forever as per usual

[starrbitez]

Sometimes im trying to find more rick and Morty content and i remember that there are like normal cis straight men who enjoy rick and Morty in a neurotypical way and perceive rick as a sigma male who they should model themselves after bc he’s narcissistic and ‘misogynistic’ and like whatever shit. But he’s literally pansexual canonically dated a trans person and like is canonically autistic, plus everyone in the show is gay. I really forget that people watch this show for the ‘dark humor’ rather than like. Autistic enjoyment and every time i see someone say “season 7 is shit” and “the lore parts suck” and like insult Rick’s character development i lose my shit

[wastelandhell]

no no ur right...you get him....

🍓

[genderqueerdykes]

I’m a butch who can’t wear pants because I am extremely autistic and they are sensory HELL. Like socks but so so so much worse cause it’s half your fucking body. Anyways, thank you for saying to stop enforcing ridgid lines around butch! I am butch, masc whatever, I’m just kinda a fairy about it and for disability reasons that includes a skirt or dresses. I don’t give a fuck that I don’t “read” or “flag” correctly. I don’t define masculinity that narrowly and queer people who do haven’t let themselves truly be freed by how expansive queer really can be! (Though I do hope the flagging gets a little better once I start T. A cis gay man at work implied I was gender conforming and I almost cried right there and then.)

i think people suddenly willingly forget that clothing isn't gendered when it comes to butches in specific. people will say "oh men can wear skirts and they're still men" but then they turn around and misgender and mistreat butches who don't wear jeans, t shirts, button up shirts and carabiners. people run butches through the toxic masculinity meat grinder. it's genuinely disturbing to see how many people willingly apply toxic masculinity to butches when none of us want this. why do butches HAVE to dress a certain way or else they're not butch?

why are we so rigid when it comes to butch masculinity in specific? what, butches have to conform to toxic masculinity or else they're not 'real' butches? really? butches? this is exactly what we do to cishet men!

we give cis men more flexibility than we give butches, for christ's sake! what, does it absolutely kill some people to think that they'll "flag" as 2 femme lesbians, or 2 friends who are girls? are people that uptight that they have to be presenting their partner as Their Butch all the time? i swear people proudly dehumanize butches and turn us into trophy partners and sex toys and literally don't care about how we feel, how we identify, or what we want to do with our lives. people inside of the lesbian community are literally the absolute worst about dehumanizing butches. we're sex toys that have to always look hot and strong. we always have to swoop in to solve everyone's problems. we have to do literally everything for femmes. this is cisheteronormative toxic masculinity, y'all. wake up, the bubble just burst

anyway i'm really glad i could help with that! the butch is in the person, not the clothing. you don't have to dress a certain way. butches are allowed to define what butchhood looks like for them. a butch isn't a skirt isn't suddenly a femme. there's way more variation and room for expression than that, come on. stop re-enforcing the binary! let butches break the boundaries of the binary you've forced us into!

[bupsafr3ak]

Satisqueer

Satisqueer (or problaqueer) is a queer posture that focuses mainly on receiving people rejected by the community, not only LGBTQIAPN+ or MOGAI, but many others, this includes the paraphilic community, subs(edtwt, sh etc) among others. Our idea is to question social constructions and discuss whether everything that is considered wrong by the majority is, in fact, wrong as they say. More satisfied people should analyze reality in a material and not moral way and, in this way, have their own conclusions about the world and its functioning, position themselves before the rules and expectations that have been imposed on us.

Satisqueer also uses a lot of empathy trying to understand how others feel and support them and offer support to improve, in relation to how bad or problematic it seems to be, we welcome many fragile people who are often excluded and left aside by their disorders and coping mechanisms.

This queer posture may or may not be involved in speeches, whatever the reason, they have no obligation to discuss with whoever they judge that the discussion is not worth it.

Pro:

Controversial identities (gaygirl, lesboy, hetero-gay).

Alterhuman, otherkin(foodkin, objectkin, kin in real people).

Paraphilias, parafilic disorders and fetishes (taboo or not).

Endo, transplural and created system.

ANY type of hetero and Cisdissidence (including mono mspec, multiorientação, cistrans, iso...).

Non-monogamy.

Relationships between lesbians and men or gays and women.

Aldernics and extreme body modifications.

Paraphilias, paraphylic disorders and fetishes (tabu or not).

Pro-contacts of CONSENSUALS parafilias.

Sh, suicide and eating/mental disorders as artistic performance (may include assisted suicide).

Mad pride and anti-assylum movement

Autonomy on your own body (including abortion).

Consensual cannibalism.

Self-diagnosis / self-identification and any type of systems.

Destigmatization of mechanisms of unhealthy copings such as the romanticization of traumas.

Toxic, obsessive, abusive consensual and/or mutual relationships.

Proship and pro fiction / anti censorship.

Furry and other harmless communities.

Communism and anarchism.

ACAB (1312).

Feminism.

Legalization of all drugs.

Blm and other movements of racialized people

Sex workers.

Xenogenders, stetigenders, lexics, allions, vior, perspeque...

Xenosexualities and parasexualities.

RCTA

Transpara (transid in general).

Transition to trace.

Transautistics use identification badge/transable use wheelchair/crutch (things that match their disability).

Identify with things for fun (even though they are harmful).

Ed/shtwt among other subs.

MIF (minors in fetichism).

Incest (consang or not).

Radshifters.

Mahou shoujo irl.

Radqueer.

Sexual education/ children know their own body.

Loli, shota, kodo and nanacon.

Ageplay, petplay, rapeplay etc

CNC

Autopara (autopedo, autozoo, etc)

Fictosexuality

MUDs

Lie to the psychiatrist/psychologist or professional who is consulting you about your symptoms to get a diagnosis or for your own benefit

Not having a specific age to diagnose disorders (such as ASPD, borderline, DID or other disorders that "can only be diagnosed at 18 years old")

Neutral:

MUDs

MAP (just if the minor is 14+).

Claim and resignification of insults and offensive terms.

Transition to transharmful

Symbol of the puzzle to represent autistic people.

Imoqueer.

Inclus.

anti:

zoo contact.

Necro contact.

pedo contact.

Contact of any paraphilia that is done in a non-consesual way.

CP/CSEM/CSAM.

LSDqueer, basedqueer, kandiqueer, xenosatanism and similar.

Anti-therian

Bullying and harassment.

Conservatives, rightists, especially Nazis, fascists and capitalists.

Transmed

Sysmed

Cis/heteronormatividade against LGBTQIAPN+ people (ex: invalidating a trans boy for dressing in a “feminine” way and wearing makeup)

Radfem, radgay, genitalists, transphobics, exorsexists, binarists...

Misogyny, misandria and femism (not feminism) and similars.

Religious intolerant

Identification emoji idea:

🫧🌈 /🗂🌈 /🌈🌪

CURIOSITY: where did the idea of the name Satisqueer and problaqueer come from?

“Satis” comes from Latin, and means “quite” - who chose this name was lilico - and "probla" its from "problematic", indicating that we include a lot of communities, regardless of how problematic or bad they are (no matter how ‘shat’ it is). We fight mainly against cis/heteronormativity, transmed, capitalists and moralistic people.

No one is better than anyone else and has no wrong way to express themselves, identify or deal with their problems, I believe we should claim this label with pride, embrace the unusual and inconvenient ways of dealing with things as part of our identity and struggle.

Creator of the term: meee :3 (with the help of @transidiotloli )