#to carry Dain's last orders

[twilightichor]

𝐂𝐗𝐂𝐕𝐈𝐈. A common thematic surrounding Khaenri'ahns in other countries (at least in Sumeru and Natlan thus far) is that there is a copious amount of people who talk about them disdainfully, as if they're at fault for the consequences that the cataclysm brought everywhere —and they'd be right, if only partially because the society seems to have been divided—. We have seen an instance in which one of the offspring of these who had to take the blame (despite bearing the best interests of said country, actually) talking about the unfairness behind it and transcending into an Abyss Herald in Sumeru, which is true but it still doesn't affect the entire populace of Khaenri'ah. But what catches the attention the most is that, at least from the people we've come across so far, none of them stand up against those accusations and would actually be seen as traitors than heroes. This speaks leagues of the guilt and / or even the shame of being a Khaenri'ahn after everything that it caused due to the obsessions people had with the Abyss, but also of how honorable and noble they are, going as far as aiding other nations without breaking a sweat despite the fact that these nations are regarded as enemies to Khaenri'ah for not having the same view of life in regards of gods as they have.

[thatonegenshinsimp]

Sleepy Cuddles Part 2

Part 1 here!

Masterlist

Notes: Decided to do a continuation since everyone loved the last one. Enjoy~

Characters: Aether, Ayato, Capitano, Dainsleif, Pantalone, Dottore

Aether

He loves to cuddle!

Prefers to be the little spoon, but if you insist, he’ll let you be the little spoon instead.

He sometimes loves to go cloud gazing with you and cuddle with you while you cloud gaze together.

Don’t tell anyone, but sometimes, when he gets really lonely, and the burden of his journey through the Seven Nations weighs heavy on him, he just needs you to cuddle with him for a bit.

Sometimes, he’ll let you take his hair out of its braid and style it however you want to.

His personal favorite is if you can do multiple braids at once.

I swear his love language is physical touch and acts of service, even though he hates doing everything for everyone else, he doesn’t mind if it’s you he’s doing it for.

Ayato

He won't admit it, but he likes to cuddle with you after a long day of work.

He's a big spoon and no, I won't take criticism on this, although another position he absolutely loves is when he's on his back and has you asleep on his chest.

This way, if there are any other matters he needs to attend to, such as last minute document checks, he can still do that and hold you at the same time.

Ayato's love language is acts of service for the sole reason that it's been ingrained in his mind that he has to work in order to gain the approval of others.

He must admit, though, he does love it whenever you drowsily walk into his office at the ungodly hour of one in the morning, sleepily plop yourself down on his lap, and wrap yourself around him as you fall asleep.

He loves to have you run your fingers through his hair, it's one of the only things that puts him to sleep quickly.

For a while, it was a cause for concern, since it made him feel so relaxed so quickly when he felt the need to be on constant alert, but eventually, he just went with it, and goes to you whenever he needs to truly relax after a long day of signing papers and approving documents.

Capitano

He rarely has the time to spend with you in the first place, but if he could spend it one way, it would be with you in his arms or, on very rare occasions, him in yours.

It's not uncommon for him to go to you if he's just gotten back from a mission and pick you up before carrying you off to the bedroom to hold you.

His love language is gifting you things and physical touch, since he lacks in his ability to give verbal compliments, he shows his love through gifts and small gestures.

However, the most genuine show of trust and love he can give is letting you take off his helmet and see his face.

There are nights where he needs to hold you because he had a nightmare about you getting injured, whereas there are others where he wants to be the one laying on top of you as you hold him close to you.

Another one with sensitive scalp that loves head massages. He’ll lay his head on your lap and let you run your fingers through his hair while you talk about your day or he about his.

He also loves to cuddle after a long day of work, laying his head against your chest to hear your pulse as it lulls him to sleep.

Dainsleif

He usually only shows such vulnerability in the comfort of your home.

it's not that Dain's love language isn't physical touch, because it most certainly is, he just worries for your safety in public if others associate you with him and vice versa.

Which is exactly why he picks you up when you two finally arrive home for the day and sits on the couch with you on his lap.

He loves spooning, he's a big spoon, but he can't deny the comfort that you laying on top of him brings. It helps ground him if he's having a particularly stressful day, and it also helps him calm down as he basks in the wonder that is you.

He won't admit it, but he loves holding your hands whenever he cuddles with you.

He usually does whatever you're comfortable with, though. He tends to put you first.

Pantalone

He likes to be on his side and have you be the little spoon.

Being a Harbinger gets stressful, and cuddles with you seem to be the best type of remedy for that stress.

His love language is obviously gift giving, but he also loves words of affirmation, too.

He’ll lay down with you and whisper words of comfort in your ear as the two of you fall asleep on each other.

He loves laying his head on your lap, being able to look up at you as he talks about his day or whatever you two want to talk about.

This is the only time he takes off his glasses, since he can’t see very well without them, and since he trusts you to tell him if anyone tries to bother the two of you.

As much as he trusts you, you can trust him. He cares about you, and if the only way he can show it is through the way he holds you, then he will hold you until you know how much he cherishes having you in his life.

Dottore

He doesn’t usually have the time to visit you for cuddles.

However, that’s not to say that you don’t have the time to visit him in his office.

His favorite position is when you’re sitting in his lap, so he can still work and show you affection at the same time.

He’ll have an arm draped over your waist and he’ll be leaning over you as he fills out paperwork.

Dottore won’t get up as long as you’re on his lap, unless there are experiments that need his attention and his segments are busy.

His love language is physical touch since he never really knows what you like or what to do for you. You’re the only person he doesn’t know how to properly read.

Although he may seem cold and heartless to others, he has a softer side he saves for you alone, and it shows in the way he holds your hand and his smile is more genuine as he works.

[jazminrhode1]

Chapter 12: Execution

Accusing a wingleader of wrongdoing is the most dangerous of all accusations. If you’re right, then we’ve failed as a quadrant to select the best wingleaders. If you’re wrong, you’re dead.

My Time As A Cadet: A Memoir by General Augustine Melgren

~

Thana was never good at staying still. Even when she thought she could emulate Xaden’s statuesque composure, she’d notice herself tapping her foot or twisting her hair between her fingers. Today, as she stood in formation beside Liam, she found herself hyper fixated on the small stone that had lodged itself inside of her boot. She was trying her damndest to manoeuvre it to a position that was less maddening but, her attempts fell short. Despite its infuriating presence, it was a welcome distraction from General Lilith Sorrengail’s attendance on the dais.

Why is she here? Thana asked Valka as she glared at the woman who had her father executed. You’ll find out soon enough, was all she heard in reply.

Thana watched as Xaden descended from the dais and made his way over to Dain Aetos. She suppressed a smirk at the glaring power imbalance that clearly unsettled Dain, all his attempts to assert dominance falling flat. It was obvious he loathed taking orders from anyone, least of all a marked one—let alone Xaden Riorson.

When their conversation was finished, Xaden waved Liam over. After a few words back and forth, Liam joined the formation of the second squad, flame section, fourth wing.

What the fuck? Thana asked. More of a statement than a question. It seems Platinum has been moved to the second squad.

She glared at Xaden trying to catch his attention as Captain Fitzgibbons mounted the dais and made his way over to the podium. She could not understand why Liam would be moved and why he went without question. Fitzgibbons lowered his glasses to the tip of his nose, took an exasperated breath and began.

Thana had stopped paying attention as the names were read aloud at formation each morning. It was an unceremonious way to farewell the fallen cadets and she refused to let their sacrifices be reduced to mere names on a list. Plus, if she thought about them too much she’d surely feel the dread pool in her stomach, a premonition of worse things to come.

As she scanned the crowd, she noticed Violet and Rhiannon gossiping amongst themselves. Violet looked a little worse for wear this morning and Thana couldn’t help but think that Amber may have had something to do with it.

Amber Mavis had cornered Thana a few days after Threshing and tried to recruit her to join a few other cadets who wanted to kill Violet Sorrengail. Amber was still pissed that Violet broke codex on the Gauntlet and her little cronies were butthurt that they hadn’t bonded a dragon especially since Violet had bonded two. Thana would have said yes if Xaden hadn’t asked her more than once to stay away. She still didn’t understand why Xaden would want to protect Violet of all people but, she gave up guessing. She knew he’d tell her at the opportune time and, for now, no matter how much the urge for revenge knawed at her, she knew she had no choice but to trust him.

As Captain Fitzgibbons read off the last names on the death roll, Thana stomach sunk. She recognised those names–mostly unbonded cadets–all of them recruited to carry our Amber’s vendetta. Thana looked around in disbelief trying to find their faces in the crowd. Surely Violet didn’t kill them on her own. Surely Amber didn’t deceive them only to turn on them at the last minute. After all, she was friends with Aetos and Aetos and Violet were… friends? Fucking? Thana wasn’t sure but, there was history there.

How did this happen? she asked Valka, How did they all die? How is Violet -

I believe Shadowspawn is about to answer that for you, Valka replied, his disdain for Xaden palpable.

Xaden made his way to the podium flanked by Garrick and Bodhi. He looked out at the cadets before him, a merciless look in his eye.

“Early this morning,” he began, his voice calm but commanding, “a rider in my wing was brutally, illegally attacked in her sleep with the intent of murder by a group of unbonded riders. As we all know, this is a violation of Article Three, Section Two of the Dragon Rider’s Codex. It is also a capital offence.”

His gaze swept over the crowd, landing on Thana for a fraction of a second. Since when did Xaden care about the codex?

“The attack was orchestrated by a rider who fled before I arrived,” Xaden continued. “Wingleader Amber Mavis.”

The courtyard erupted into chaos. Thana stood frozen. How had Xaden or anyone else found out?

Thana had spent the last two weeks contemplating whether or not to tell Xaden but, secretly, she didn’t want him to know. She didn’t want him to stop them. Maybe that makes her guilty of violating Article Three, Section Two of the Dragon Rider’s Codex too but, she thought that Xaden would be happy. That he’d be relieved that someone else took the burden off his hands. And that was beside the point. Xaden trusted Amber. He trusted all of the wingleaders. Thana couldn’t comprehend why he’d reprimand Amber instead of keeping his mouth shut. It had to have something to do with Violet. Everything seems to have something to do with Violet. With Lilith. Was that why she was on the dais?

Stop overthinking. You can’t change this, Valka noted.

As Amber stepped forward, she protested, her voice shrill, “You’re only doing this because my family didn’t join your father’s rebellion.”

Xaden seemed unphased as he called upon the other wingleaders to form a quorum. Thana hated the politics of this hellhole. The decision of life or death comes down to the judgement made by three people a few years older than herself. Why not put it to the dragons? Why not give Amber more than 5 minutes to explain her reasons? Why didn’t Thana talk her out of it? Surely if she had, the six would still be here and Amber–

You are not responsible for this, Thana, Valka interrupted.

The sound of wings battering the air above them signalled the approach of the dragons flying in from the valley. Thana would never get used to the sheer size of these creatures as they perched on the citadel walls. She could feel the energy shifting around her, the air thickening with apprehension. Above the silence, she could hear her heartbeat drumming in her ears.

Xaden declared Amber Mavis guilty with the same cold resignation as Fitzgibbons had reading the death roll. Thana was disgusted by him. She couldn’t understand how he could be so nonchalant about the death of a peer. A friend. Basgiath had changed him.

The rider’s quadrant watched as Amber begged for her life, begged for Claidh. The desperate shrieks of Amber’s dragon pierced through the courtyard. Tairn snapped at her as the other dragons remained on their perches. Thana couldn’t quite comprehend what was happening.

As Tairn lowered his head, it all seemed to move in slow motion. The crowd retreated toward the courtyard walls as Tairn bared his teeth to Amber Mavis. Lilith Sorrengail looked on with contentment as a roar shook the citadel and a torrent of flames shot from between Tairn’s bared teeth. In an instant, the fire surged forward turning flesh to ash in an instant.

Claidh’s cries filled the air; the dragon’s mourning could be heard for miles as she launched from her perch back toward the valley. As ceremoniously as ever, Fitzgibbons read Amber’s name from the death roll before dismissing the cadets from formation.

Thana stood motionless, her feet planted firmly in place, as if her very soul had been held captive by the sight before her. As the other cadets fled from the courtyard, she wished desperately that Liam had been standing beside her to hold her steady or to assure her that this was not her fault.

But he wasn’t. And it was Liam who pulled her focus back to the courtyard. It was her squad leader, Exo Halt.

“Are you ok?” he asked. She realised they were the only two people left except for Garrick and Xaden who were in deep conversation on the dais.

She ignored his question. “Did you know?” she asked.

“About Amber? No, I-” he began. “About Liam.”

Exo's shake of the head was unmistakably sincere. Thana forced a tight-lipped smile, brushed her hand on his arm and started to make her way to Xaden. Before she could get to the dais, Xaden and Garrick disappeared into a crowded hallway.

Thana stood in the middle of the courtyard, mere feet from Amber’s ashes.

What now? She searched for Valka in the confines of her mind.

Now we keep going.

[baeshijima]

so... i finished the new natlan aqs...

spoilers utc w/ very long rambles haha... mainly abt capitano—

first off, wow. i actually did not know what to expect going into this version's aqs, but good lord they were so well-written?? i genuinely cried and sobbed at some parts, namely ororon's realisation where he wants to live for himself and fights to retain his soul and chuychu's death with chasca grieving over her... there were so many amazing aspects in acts 3 & 4, with the fights and cutscenes being so, so well done, the lore bombs (seelies being confirmed to be /past/ angels) and the music??? ohh the osts were so good... and the theme that came up in the capitano scenes.... ourhgghg...

speaking of capitano, may i just say: wow. what a man. i genuinely love his character so much and the writers did him so much justice?? like, he has his own goals and ideals but doesn't let that get in the way of being kind and caring and upholding his honour, and isn't beneath apologising and admitting his mistakes when proven wrong...

another thing i love is his relationship with his subordinates !! like, the concern he showed for them on several occasions and the concern & admiration they have for him is just... so nice to see? idk it just feels so refreshing to see a mutually appreciative dynamic with the fatui especially ;w;; and then his progressive relationship with our main natlan cast... him saving xilonen, not once, but twice (that should've been me—), how he went from being dismissive of ororon to caring for his well-being, his growing respect for mavuika and hers for him, and how he decided to ditch his plan in the end to help be part of mavuika's one.... i am so unwell...

and not to mention that last scene with him???? like sir wdym ronova sent u and u know that mavuika has to pay a debt with her death and that u have a bone to pick with that final for which means u are more than likely to also join us both into the night kingdom for the final fight with the abyss which may or may not lead to u sacrificing urself in mavuika's stead so she doesn't have to die and—

oh lord i am not ready for the future story with him...

ALSO HE IS FROM KHAENRI'AH DURING THE CATACLYSM AND WAS A COMMANDER????

sobbing the pain in his voice when he was relaying how he lost his comrades, family and nation, fleeing to natlan with his remaining platoon once realising khaenri'ah couldn't be saved despite his attempts in hopes of escaping the carnage and giving what was left of himself and his comrades some reprieve only to face the abyss invasion again in natlan...

but oh my god when he was saying how the chief of the masters of the night-wind, ayizu, and how he didn't treat capitano any differently despite being from khaenri'ah and most ppl believing khaenri'ah and its inhabitants to be the cause of the tragedy, thus making himself duty-bound to help natlan ;w;

AND TSARITSA MENTION??? HER ALLOWING THE HARBINGERS THE FREEDOM TO DISCOVER THEIR OWN MEANING AND FOR IT TO TAKE PRECEDENCE OVER HER ORDERS IF THE TIME CALLS FOR IT??? we stan a homie !!

ALSO DAIN MENTION RAAHHHHH

"he carries a degree of pain and hatred that far surpasses my own" oh. so we're going down that route, huh. i see how it is. but also the way he also calls him "dain" ;w;; ueueue also rotting corpse/flesh... i wonder if this is in the literal sense or an abyssal rot/erosion like dain's arm? hm...

okay but now i really want to see how dain reacts to us mentioning capitano, and if he would instantly know who we are referring to since dain knows a lot despite his deteriorating memory, and maybe we might get a capitano name reveal...? also is this us being one step closer to seeing dain in an actual main story aq?? ALSO THE ABYSS SIBLING BEING KHAENRI'AHN ROYALTY CONFIRMATION RAAHHH

anyway before moving on to the heavier parts of the quest have some capitano mavuika interactions bc i love them and their old married couple-esque bickering :((

(also ororon just standing in the middle of them during their squabble like a son and going "can i say something?" 😭)

++ kinich and ajaw being... well... kinich and ajaw.

okay. haha. the war. :)

genuinely was not expecting it to be depicted so... dark? like, i know it's war and that natlan is the nation of war, but with genshin's streak of not going in depth to explicitly show death and the like (though they have been bolder in recent updates, namely fontaine), i wasn't expecting to see literal corpses of the npcs and saurians strewn on the ground after the abyss got stronger, and that whichever area we picked over another would have consequences... the devastation i felt when realising the other area i could have helped was completely wiped out... gosh...

our choices actually having consequences and changing what happens during the war + depending on how long u take to defeat the enemies also heavily impacts the death count??? LIKE WHAT

and then paimon becoming progressively distressed the longer it went on and the more found dead genuinely broke my heart like 😭

and oh god... chuychu's death... chasca momentarily losing control of the abyssal contamination due to grief only to rein it in a moment later.... and then chasca becoming recognised by the ancient name due to it and becoming the final awakened hero... ourgh....

and when walking around the stadium to talk with those who made it back and there's this one baby saurian waiting for its person and saurian friends/family to come back...

LIKE STOP THIS HYV DO U WANT ME TO END IT ALL???? WHY WOULD U INCLUDE THIS BITBKSAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

BUT OMG THE CUTSCENE WHERE ALL THE AWAKENED HEROES + MAVUIKA FORMED THE CIRCLE WITH THEIR POWERS GOING TO MAVUIKA AS SHE MAINTAINS THE SUN-LIKE POWER IN THE SKY??? ONLY TO THEN LATER DEAL THE FINAL BLOW TO THE ABYSS STRUCTURE AND PIERCE THROUGH IT AND REVEAL THE FAKE FUCKING SKY????

WHAT THE FUCK????? CONFIRMATION THE SKY IS FAKE AND THAT SCARA ALL THE WAY BACK IN 1.0/1 DURING THE STARS EVENT WAS RIGHT AND THAT POST ACT 4 U CAN STILL SEE MOON FRAGMENTS IN THE SKY????

man. got chills from the war depictions. got chills from the cutscenes. got chills from the fake sky confirmation.

also this was such a cute scene with everyone + mavuika in the distant background that i had to take a screenshot ;w;

but ourgh... the amount of sacrifices we witnessed and were too late to help prevent just really set it in stone just how devastating and powerless it can make u feel... it's only 5.1 and it's gotten this dark just how much darker are u going to take it with the abyss final showdown hyv 😭😭

also capitano feeling admiration for everyone who stood up and fought the abyss...

i am unwell i love him...

now. mavuika.

sobbing i love, love, love her so much !! she was mothering so hard as always like??? taking care of us, being the one to being the light that pulled ororon out of the darkness so he could find his way out (pls don't touch me i sobbed so hard during that entire scene where he realised he didn't want to self-sacrifice anymore but instead live for himself and for those who care for him, thus awakening as one of the heroes... holds him gently...), showing how much she cared for her people...

but it also really puts into perspective just how much she chose to sacrifice and put behind her (her loved ones and her then life) for a chance to be able to finally put an end to the war with the abyss and free natlan...

she was so radiant like the sun that she became one :')

but also...

they brought back the seeing past loved ones mindscape scene... sobs i don't wanna see what happens in the next update bc of mavuika's debt death and capitano's potential sacrifice intervention but at the same time i do 😭😭 (also she was so stunning here i had to take a screenshot aha)

BUT GENUINELY I GREW TO LOVE THE NATLAN CAST SO MUCH??? xilonen, citlali and ororon especially with them being new and i wasn't sure how much i would like them, but oh god i love how they were written and how real they felt with strengths and flaws ;w;;

but also with the drop that paimon will be staying behind while us and mavuika go to the night kingdom for the final battle, her separation anxiety is going to go through the fucking roof good lord... i also predict we will die and get resurrected at some point in our time down their bc... ain't no way are they giving us an ancient name for it to not be used for resurrection in the night kingdom...

anyway it's 4am and i spent like. 2 hours typing this up and i have so much more i could talk about but then this would be neverending so um. haha.

if u read to the end (here) then

1) thank you for reading my nonsensical rambles and cries <33

2) why would u put urself through this?

3) have four cookies for the time spent on this post 🍪🍪🍪🍪

[dreamerinthemoonlight]

Darkness in the Rain

Summary: Zhongli comforts Dain on a bad night

Word Count: 562

CW: hurt/comfort

A/N: Happy early birthday to Zhongli

He rolls over, reaching out to wrap his arms around Dainsleif, but finds his spot empty and cold.

Zhongli wakes to a dark room and the dull pitter-patter of rain on the roof.

Zhongli sighs. *It’s going to be one of those nights, then.*

The ex-archon slips out of bed, forgoing a bathrobe that is just likely to get soaked anyway, and goes in search of his most unlikely lover.

As usual on nights like tonight, Dain has gravitated to the upper balcony. He’s left the door open, but the lamps are unlit.

Zhongli leans against the door frame, letting the slight groan of wood announce his presence. 

When Dain doesn’t acknowledge him, Zhongli doesn’t speak, instead taking the time to observe his lover.

The rain has turned Dainsleif’s blond hair dark, and water streams down his scared shoulders and back. A large puddle of water pools at his bare feet.

The mist veiled light of Liyue Harbor softens the darkness the Khaenri’an man carries like a second skin and strips him of his stoicism. In shadows that mask all else, the heart struggles to hide.

On nights like this, Zhongli finds that the younger man reminds him of a certain young adeptus--cool, quiet, devoted, but in the end, alone in incomprehensible darkness.

Unlike said adeptus, however, he has the ability to alleviate the burden.

Zhongli pushes off the door frame and steps into the rain.

“Bad night?” he asks when he’s taken his place next to Dainsleif.

“Perhaps.”

Zhongli scowls. “Dainsleif, I have lived for six thousand years. You can’t lie to me. What’s wrong?”

Dainsleif shrugs, sending another wave of water cascading to the floor. “I couldn’t sleep. The memories are too strong tonight.”

“I see. If you would like to talk, I will listen.”

Dain gives Zhongli a conflicted look, before dropping his eyes to his clenched hands. “It’s not any one thing. Simply many things that remind me of my many failures. Khaenri’ah fell and I could do nothing. I couldn’t protect the royal family. Halfdan sacrificed himself because I couldn’t stop the Abyss Order in time.”

Zhongli cups Dain’s face, forcing him to meet his eyes. “Do you think that the responsibility falls solely on your shoulders?

“Khaenri’ah, your royal family, their fates were sealed. No mortal, no archon, no spirit of any standing could have changed it.”

“And Halfdan?”

“Made his own choice to fulfill his responsibilities. As did you.”

“I did?”

“Did you not give him the ability to rest in peace, my love? Is that not fulfilling your responsibility to him?”

Dain leans his forehead on Zhongli’s chest, melting into his former enemy’s touch. If someone had told him when he gave Halfdan that last assurance that in time it would be the ex- geo archon who would be consoling him, trying to ease his guilt, he’d have thought they were insane.

“Thank you.” Dain voice is rough as a single tear falls, unnoticed in the rain.

“For what? I am doing no more than I shou-- No that isn’t true. I should be bringing you inside and drying you off before you catch a cold.”

“Even if that’s the case, thank you.”

Zhongli chuckles. “Fine. You’re welcome. But come inside now. It’s warm there and our bed is waiting.”

Dainsleif lets Zhongli bring him inside, leaving the grief, the guilt, the darkness in the rain.

[it-happened-one-fic]

Meet in the Middle Once More - Dainsleif

Author Notes: Happy Valentines Day! Alrighty, this is going to be a point of view fic. This one is Reader's point of view and it's partner will be from Dain's point of view. Someday I will write and post something that is just straight up fluff for Dain. Today is unfortunately not that day though. So this is angst with some hinted comfort that was written to "You & I" by PVRIS and reader is gender-neutral. I hope you enjoy.

Here's the link to the partner fic: Meet in the Middle Again (Dain's POV)

Type: Angst with implied comfort/romance implied/pining/gender-neutral reader/POV fic

Word Count: 833 words

I exhaled quietly, looking over at the familiar yet mysterious man who stood next to me. A song filtered through the air as we looked on from a distance at the brightly lit village. 

It seemed like they were having some sort of celebration, but all we could hear was the music that filled the dark night air. 

“Is something the matter?” I jolted at Dainsleif’s question, realizing that I’d been caught staring. He turned to look at me with those painfully bright blue eyes that never seemed to miss anything. Not even the smallest of details.

I’d been journeying with Dainsleif for quite some time and I’d learned that he was an incredibly secretive man. And his reasons for being so secretive remained largely unknown. 

At the very least I could tell that whatever burden it was that he was carrying, it was immense. The only thing I really knew was that he had a vendetta against the Abyss Order and that didn’t explain his strange otherworldly nature.

“I was just listening to the music. It sounds….”

“Familiar?” His single word caught me off guard. Because he was right. It did sound familiar. Familiar in a heartbreakingly nostalgic way even though I knew I had never heard the tune before.

But I did know what, or rather who, it reminded me of.

Those strings paired with that driving beat, strangely determined and powerful yet with an air of melancholy. It reminded me of him.

“Yes, I suppose it is familiar… But, I’ve never heard it before. I would’ve remembered it if I had.” My confident assertion was met with a raised eyebrow from the man and I smiled slightly at him. Perhaps my words seemed strange to him, but I knew for a fact that this song would haunt me for the rest of my life. Just like I knew he would.

Oh, it was true. We hadn’t been separated yet, but I could feel it coming just like you could sometimes feel the electricity in the air long before storm clouds appeared in the sky.

Ever since that last fight with that Abyss Herald…. Whatever it was it had said to Dainsleif when I’d been fighting to keep myself from falling off that frail, cracking ledge had shaken my companion.

I didn’t think I’d ever forget the force with which Dainsleif had shoved that abyssal creature away from him as it had cackled. 

Dainsleif had dove for me, catching hold of my wrist and hauling me up and away from the seemingly bottomless pit that yawned beneath me. But as soon as he did so, the Abyss Herald had spoken. 

Its words still haunted me to a degree, “You see Dainsleif? You will lose that one just as you lost your first companion and your land. It’s only a matter of time.”

After that, Dainsleif had begun to pull away and had become less open. The wall he’d built around himself was as thick as it was tall and I knew I couldn’t make it through no matter how hard I tried.

And maybe that was why I stood, silently reaching out for his hands with a smile. He met my gaze, confusion clearly on his face.

“I know you’re going to leave, probably sooner rather than later… But before that, let me make these memories as something to treasure and remember you by.” 

His face said everything. 

Surprise, that I knew what was coming. Withdrawal, to protect himself in the coming days. And regret, possibly that I was correct.

I still smiled though, reaching and taking his hands in mine and prompting him to stand, “Just, please, Dain. Meet me in the middle. I know I can’t hold you here, tied to me…. Because even though I don’t know why you have to leave, I understand that it’s necessary.”

 He slowly stood as I spoke, his warm grip tightening ever so slightly on my hands as his gaze held mine. Unflinching and determined, but with remorse in those eyes that seemed to hold all the stars that shone above us in the night sky.

What followed next would be a memory that would last me for a lifetime and possibly even follow me into the next world.

Our motions were smooth, without need for words as he slowly began to lead me through our first and final dance. Our feet matched the unwavering yet distant beat as he spun us through the grassy hills. Dancing alongside the flickering fireflies under the light of the moon and the stars.

It was odd how so much could be said without any words. Our gazes never left one another, and I could tell that neither of us knew exactly when we would be separated. But something also told me that I wasn’t the only one who hoped we’d meet again.

Because someday, when all the stars aligned, maybe, just maybe, we could meet in the middle once more. Just as we had tonight.

[reviewsthatburn]

The worldbuilding in EMPEROR MAGE focuses heavily on Carthak and almost completely ignores Tortall except when drawing some comparison between the two nations. It’s uncomfortably fascinated with slavery in Carthak, specifically with how it is carried out in the palace. It’s yet another white savior narrative (e.g. THE WOMAN WHO RIDES LIKE A MAN) in book three of a Tortall book. This is a bit subtler, since Daine had no intention of messing with the Carthaki way of life, slavery and all, but it turns out that some of the other characters have been actively involved at getting slaves out of the country. Daine’s goddess-driven involvement serves to mess things up for the Emperor, making Carthak much friendlier to Tortall than before their trip. Daine’s bonds with animals provide conversational opportunities for her to draw comparisons between slavery and the caging of animals. 

Full Review at Link.

[reginrokkr]

𝐗𝐗𝐈𝐈𝐈. Sapphire, spiritual veins that connect souls of defunct and alive alike: on telepathy.

Amongst the many denominations and functions Irminsul has, its Ley Lines are also known as spiritual veins that carry the souls of the defunct in a physical manner, albeit their remain in this world in a spiritual way until a ritual is done to relieve the Ley Lines and with it, release the souls to the afterlife that corresponds them. These souls not only belong to those who have passed away, but to everyone who was registered by Irminsul as the way it has to reproduce memories via Ley Lines is to project something that matches with what they absorbed at the time, while at the same time they are no mere projections: they can interact with the environment within the memory in itself and with people from differing timespans.

While telepathy is reserved to the divine (two of which connected to Irminsul, one of them no longer in godhood) and it stands to reason that this couldn't be of any other way, there is a detail in the way that Wanderer uses telepathy that serves as key in order to make it happen: a connection. During 3.1 we see Haypasia excited over the fact that she thinks that she has achieved Paripurna Life, the epitome of true insight and allegedly the state of mind that can gather any knowledge, when in truth what she did was connect with Scaramouche at the time and she was able to see his memories and hear his thoughts and feelings.

This lets on the fact that there is a need for a link or a connection for individuals that weren't born divine while those who are can let their words be heard by those who they wish at will (Nahida and the mysterious female who talks to Traveler at the end of Wanderer's AQ), or communicate with others via dreams (once again, Nahida and Greater Lord Rhukkadevata before her, but also Zhongli). Back to Wanderer who achieved godhood earlier on in his life, one of the things that characterize him is his brief connection to Irminsul and the possibility to establish a telepathic connection with Traveler even by bypassing Nahida's supervision. It could be because of the manner his godhood was achieved, it could be because of his connection to Irminsul.

For Dain in specific, I want to focus on his connection to Irminsul to build a path to feasibility that he can establish telepathic communications too. Starting from the fact that Ley Lines permeate the entirety of the world, this would make for a good starter in order to find the soul of who he wants to communicate with. Nevertheless, it is not as simple given the fact that he is no god, thus while the possibility is there, it isn't without its restrictions. I want to stress on the importance of a connection. As in Scaramouche's case a good lead to connect with Traveler telepathically for the first time could've been Haypasia who connected to him first and was able to envision his memories and hear his thoughts and feelings, so does Dain need a lead in order to establish this communication.

This can happen via three methods: 1) to permeate beforehand the individual of desire in question with Ether, 2) to establish a thread of connection with someone who he gave an Inteyvat or 3) to make the individual imagine a specific landscape that Dain described to them previously.

In the first case, given how rare Ether as an element can be to find, were he feel something that isn't the Ley Lines or Irminsul that has Ether within them, it will make it easy for him to discern what that thing actually is, even more so if it is a living being.

The second case scenario can apply with the Inteyvat as they're rare flowers and only as many living people are in their possession— by connection to the Ley Lines of the very location said person is in, Dain will be able to know who is this person without reaching out to a different person by mistake, there will be no mistake in this.

In the last case, the landscape in question that has to be imagined is nothing less than the appearance of Dain's realm of consciousness: an enormous field of Inteyvats atop an ocean of stars, with the celestial dome cracked (like Fischl's dreamscape) and an infinite nocturne sky with glimmering stars and the moonlight shining through and, at the center, the Irminsul tree. The second method is more intimate, as it is not a mere telepathic communication but a communion of souls in Dain's realm of consciousness where they can see each other.

Suffice to say, in order for this to happen Dain must have a strong bond with the individual in question. When this happens his voice will suffer a distortion that makes it sound ethereal and otherworldly— seraphic, in tune with his roots as a celestial being. In the case of the latter case in which the individual is brought to his realm of consciousness, they may be sentient that something is amiss with Dain while it's still the same as he is, something amiss new to them or that they already felt from him before, but that this would serve as a confirmation. It will not be the same case scenario as Haypasia with Scaramouche when she was able to envision his memories and hear / feel his thoughts and feelings, but something far more muted yet still telling.

[plumblossomcafe]

Ch.30(2/2)

Dainsleif: This abandoned temple does bear some marks of the Abyss. The Falcon of the West... though it can soar in the wind, it ultimately does naught but hover under the light of the gods...

Aether: What are you talking about?

Dainsleif: Mm? Oh, it's nothing. Let's head inside.

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Dainsleif: The scent of the Abyss is getting stronger. It's not far now.

Paimon: Paimon wonders what the Abyss Heralds look like. Do they look something like the Abyss Mages?

Dainsleif: Let's head further in first. If we do see that creature, that'll spare me the explanation either way.

They eventually ran into two Abyss mages and after fighting them one of them wanted to land one last attack at Y/n but missed and instead hit the ceiling causing a small chunk of the ceiling to fall almost hitting Y/n until Dainsleif quickly carried Y/n away before the piece could hit her

Y/n: *blushing a bit since his face is close to hers* T-thanks

Dainsleif: *puts her down* Be careful...

Aether: Y/n, you okay?

Y/n: Mhm

Dainsleif: Just a few Abyss Mages? Seems like that Herald might have already left.

Aether: Could you tell me more about the Abyss Order?

Dainsleif: The Abyss... It is chaos, and it is also destruction. It is a morass of inconceivable madness that encroaches upon this world's very foundations. That... is why even the Dragon of the East, a servant of a deity, was unable to resist its corrosive powers. And the creatures of the Abyss desire nothing less than the overthrow of a world ruled by the archons.

Y/n: You seem to know a lot about the Abyss, Dain.

Dainsleif: Haha, well, we do have... some history. I suppose that's as far as chit-chat goes. We should head to Wolvendom. Judging by the traces I'm following, their next appearance may be within the territory of that old wolf. Perhaps we may find our Abyss Herald there.

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Dainsleif: Lord of Wolvendom, Great Wolf King of the North... Sharp of fang and keen of claw, and yet dwelling here only...

Y/n: You know that wolf?

Dainsleif: No, nor does it know me. I only know these things because a previous traveling companion of mine once wanted to hear its story. Alright, let's go see if that Abyss Herald has stopped by here.

Paimon: But where do we begin? ...Hmm, are you standing here because of these strange bonfires, Dain?

Dainsleif: Indeed. See that, floating above the flames? It's an Abyssal spell. Knowing what I do of the Order's habits, they've probably left similar marks behind elsewhere. Let's have a look nearby.

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After looking around for clues

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Dainsleif: Have you finished searching?

Y/n: We found lots of signs of the Abyss Order...

Dainsleif: I searched around these parts and found some signs myself. But they were left behind by Abyss Mages, and there was no deeper Abyssal power to them. It seems that even an Abyss Herald would not wish to make trouble with the Wolf King of the North. We should leave as well. If there's anything praiseworthy about that old wolf, it's his territorial nature.

Y/n: But now we're out of leads. Are we going to have to give up?

Dainsleif: No, there is one more place we can go. Let's get a move on, then. I'll wait for you at Stormterror's Lair.

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Dainsleif: I've heard about what happened to Aether during Mondstadt's crisis. When he came, this place was known as Stormterror's Lair. But I suppose that this place is more "lair" than "Stormterror" at this point. In fact, if my memory serves, this ruin has had largely nothing to do with that dragon for a long time. The first time I laid eyes upon the ruins of Old Mondstadt, the Dragon of the East had yet to fall, much less come to nest in this place.

Paimon: Huh? But Paimon remembers that Dvalin first got into trouble hundreds of years ago...

Dainsleif: Don't think too much about it. Do you remember the Light Actuators that once sealed this ruin? If the Abyss Order is interested in this location, then they will not neglect those mechanisms. Let's go see what the situation is at those Light Actuators.

Y/n: How old are you, Dain?

Dainsleif: 22, why? (Author note: He does look like he's in his 20s)

Y/n: Because you look to be 30

Dainsleif: ...Let's just head inside

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After going deeper inside and defeating the monsters

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Paimon: So in the end, we still couldn't find that Abyss Herald. Bummer.

Aether: It is quite a shame.

Y/n: Now, I'm very curious about what it looks like and how it fights

Dainsleif: I wouldn't call not having to gaze upon such a creature a "shame," exactly. Still, I do believe that you will come across one eventually.

Paimon: N—No... You're right. If it's a really powerful monster, it would be best to go around it...

Dainsleif: *sigh* How good it would be if all perils one encounters in their journeys could simply be solved by going around them.

Aether: Speaking from experience, are we?

Dainsleif: Once upon a time, yes... I simply have the experience from adventuring together with that traveling companion.

Y/n: Uh, you know, Dain, you keep talking about that person this, and that person that... Where are they now, anyway?

Dainsleif: She... *sigh* No longer travels. I'm afraid that traveling can be... too exhausting at times.

Y/n: Oh, is that how it is... Well, why are you traveling alone, then?

Dainsleif: I... still have some things left unfinished. Once they are done, I, too, will return home to rest.

Paimon: Yup, and it's good to have a home to come back to, isn't it? We camp out a lot when we travel. Hey Aether, Y/n, once we finish this journey, we should find a place to stay too, shouldn't we? Hmm... Mondstadt's Fisherman's Toast is pretty tasty, but Liyue's Wanmin Restaurant is great, too... Eh, either way, we should settle down in a place where there's good food!

Aether: Getting a bit ahead of ourselves, I think...

Dainsleif: Home... Well, it won't be too late to think about where you stay once your journey reaches its end. While you're still traveling, you should...

Aether: !!!...I sense something familiar. On that cliff.

Paimon: Eh? What's familiar?

Aether: I felt it for a moment the previous time we came here, too...

Dainsleif: A familiar feeling, you say? It could be someone you know well, or perhaps a monster.

Y/n: Could it be... the Abyss?

Dainsleif: Whichever it is, we should see it for ourselves and thus see clearly. We can reach the top of that cliff from over there. Let's go.

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Dainsleif: Can you still sense that familiar feeling that you spoke of earlier?

Aether: It's nearby.

Paimon: But... it doesn't feel like there's anything around here. No monsters, no people, nothing.

Dainsleif: Indeed, there doesn't seem to be anything strange about this place. It doesn't look any different from the last time I was here...

Aether: "Last time," you say? You've been here before?

Dainsleif: My traveling companion brought me here on our previous journey.

Paimon: So, Dain, what about you? What's your favorite place?

Dainsleif: Me? I... no longer remember. I merely followed my traveling companion around on that journey. That's all there was to it.

Y/n: *from the distance* Hey guys!!! Come look at this!!!

They went to where Y/n was and saw a huge footprint that looked like it didn't belong to a creature or human, but beside it laid a crushed dandelion

Y/n: The footprint shape looks familiar, and for some reason, a crused dandelion is next to it

Dainsleif: A Ruin Guard's footprint... A Ruin Guard was wandering around here? No peace to be found, even for a single dandelion...

As soon as Aether examined the dandelion, he immediately remembered a destroyed land with a red sky, his encounter with the Unknown God, and how he and his sister got separated and when Y/n also examined the dandelion she immediately remembered a memory of when she was a baby crying as a destroyed land with a red sky surrounded her

Paimon: What's gotten into you both? You both were just spacing out!

Aether: This dandelion... reminds me of... I... could feel her.

Paimon: Eh? You mean your sister? But, how could that be... You only touched that dandelion for a second!

Aether: Yes, the moment I touched it...

Paimon: Makes sense, but why did Y/n space out

Y/n: I had a memory exactly from when I was a baby, crying while being surrounded by a destroyed land with a red sky. Strange, I also sometimes have this as a dream, and I remember asking both my fathers about it, but they refused to tell me what it meant

Dainsleif: ... for Aether's case, perhaps that dandelion bears some sort of "scent" that only he recognizes, but for Y/n, that's a mystery. As for why... has it perhaps experienced something related to you, Aether?

Paimon: Uh, you're saying some real confusing stuff. Paimon doesn't get it at all...

Aether: Regardless, I have to get to the bottom of th—!

Dainsleif: Do not rush. Vexation and anxiety are the enemy of rational thought. Your journey has only just begun, has it not? At least you now know that she is still in this world. At this time, the most important thing is the journey to find her itself.

Aether: And I will find her.

Dainsleif: Yes, and this is something you must keep in mind as the meaning behind your journey. May you find your kin at the end of that journey. Well then, let us part ways here for now.

Paimon: Eh? Are you leaving? Already?

Dainsleif: Only for now. Don't worry, we will meet again. After all... I did take 500 Mora... and those three answers you both gave me *leaves*

[acourtofcharacters]

I’m sure I really don’t want your help. Not with this at least.

Violet immediately thought, not trusting that he would keep her alive if he’d step on the mat with her, her being able to picture a nicer death that possibly getting her neck broken by Xaden Riorson during a simple Sparring class. Well, at least she wouldn’t be the first one to get her neck broken on one of those mats. Jack Barlowe had already done that to someone else. “Are you asking me or are you ordering it?” She asked, clearly already a little annoyed as she tilted her head, doubting that Xaden would leave her much of a choice. If he wanted to go against her right now and kill her on one of those mats he’d simply do so, whether she’d wanted his ‘help’ or not. He owes you something. Violet reminded herself since she hadn’t told on him and the other marked children meeting up in groups bigger than three. As he acknowledged that she had in fact one all her fights with only minor injuries, Violet looked at him in surprise for only a second before quickly trying to look at least neutral again, not having expected him to agree that she had done well in her fights. Fights that only ever lasted a minute due to the other person being poisoned.

As he stepped closer to him so no one else could hear what he was telling her. Violet looked at him slightly surprised again. Why the fuck was he helping her? And why did he sound like she actually had a chance to survive all this? Out of all the people, Xaden should be the one to tell her that she was as good as dead and yet he was one of the very few people who had just made her feel like she actually had to learn things to survive after graduating from Basgiath. Before even really being able to answer something smart and cocky, he just carried on talking, again reminding her that she had missed six entire times to attack, telling her that her training was inadequate for her size and abilities.

“He’s not my boyfriend” she quietly snapped back, knowing that pretending like Dain was her boyfriend would only look bad on both him and her, especially when remembering Mira’s words that no one liked those who screwed themselves to safety. “Since this seems inadequate for my size and abilities, what should I do differently?” She asked Xaden, still not being sure she wanted his advice but rather accepting his help than possibly dying. Violet not being sure though if his help didn’t equal her death.

Violet really had done horrible on following her sisters advice. Stay away from Riorson, don’t make friends, let Dain help you. How was she supposed to follow these rules though when Xaden happened to be a Wing Leader and therefore always somewhere near by, Violet having made her first friend before the Parapet already and Dain just constantly calling her weak and trying to get her to leave the riders quadrant and go to the scribes instead. Without friends like Rhiannon, Vi knew she’d possibly be dead by now. Not even wanting to imagine what things would be like if she’d not have a friend who’d teach her how to fight, ‘weak’ people like her being an easy target for people like Jack Barlowe.

Her mind, her reflexes and her bendiness were truly her greatest advantage, knowing she’d forever be grateful that she had packed a book over poisonous berries and plants in general. With Rhiannon landing a minor hit against her friend, Violet just flinched a tiny bit before quickly assuring her that she was doing alright even though it was definitely going to leave a bruise immediately.

As Xaden stopped right next to them, both stopped in their motion immediately, Violet not at all looking happy about his presence though, quite the contrary actually. Listening to what he had to say, Violets expression didn’t exactly get any happier or even just slightly thankful since to her there was no benefits from his words nor were they uplifting. Xaden just being another person who had basically called her weak and incapable, something she had heard countless times by now. “Thank you for your help” she said sarcastically since it wasn’t even really helpful to tell her that she was too slow. “I’ve won every fight apart from my first though” the young woman added on, highly doubting Xaden had actually stopped by to help her, therefore not seeing any point in asking for advice, deciding to rather pretend that Rhiannon’s training was actually helping her win fights when in reality it had been the poison and not her training sessions.

And now keep walking, you are distracting.

She thought

[danafeelingsick]

ʜɪᴅᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴀɪɴ 1/2

ᴘᴀʀᴛ 2

NON-KINK BLOGS AND MINORS DNI

[SPOILERS] Takes place after Chapter II: Act IV of the Archon quest – Requiem of the Echoing Depths, where Dainsleif is found by Aether and Paimon still in the chasm, weakened and injured, and at the verge of collapsing.

ᴀᴏ3

ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢ coughing, implied fainting, blood, mentions of violence, vomiting, motion sickness, exhaustion, descriptions of wounds, wound cleaning/wound patching, fever

ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ 4.1k~

Author's note: i've decided to put these back here, i hope no one minds. now this fic, i wrote it rather quickly, because the whump of that mission was prime material for me. the way he screams, the way he coughs, the way he undermines his pain ଘ(੭ˊ꒳​ˋ)੭✧ i couldn't let it pass. but with the requests i have in line, i forgot to post this. so here it is, i really need to use dain more for emeto. nothing like a strong man crushed down.

         Somehow, Dainsleif had heard him. But perhaps it was already too late.

         It could have been the strain on his voice, the shuddering breaths he could barely suppress, or the soft hisses that would leave his mouth as he spoke. But no longer he could hide the struggle it was to stay afoot.

         Aether saw through the stern look behind his masquerade, even as he continued talking, hoping to deter his attention. As soon as that weakened cough left him, there was a mutual understanding of how far he had gone. But Aether didn't dare to say it yet.

         The man turned to leave, to roam once more, and Aether saw his shoulders quiver, his unsteady steps threatening to miss the fragmented terrain. He remarked, once more, about the traveler's lack of a choice, then and there, and hoped he would've made his decision by the next time they met.

         Had he known it would be this soon? Of course not.

         The traveler ventured farther into the chasm, tending to his already long list of commissions, unable to take Dainsleif's strained husky voice out of his mind. He tried to focus on the task, but no sooner than a few hours of exploration later, he found him.

         Or at least, Paimon had found him, pointing out a man clad in black and blue, carrying the night sky on his flowing cape, bracing the cave's wall as his struggling breaths filled the ominous silence.

         “Dain!”, she zoomed towards him, the traveler right behind, his heart heavy trying to slow him down. “Dain, what's wrong? Weren't you going to rest? What are you still doing here?”, she questioned, her voice shrill with desperation.

         Aether couldn't speak, his eyes kept roving over Dainsleif's weakened form, looking for something, anything that screamed for immediate attention, and how to act. Something that justified how someone took as powerful as he had been reduced to a cowering shivering mess.

         A faint smell of acid permeated the air, giving Aether pause as he thought of so many types of poison that could be coursing through his bloodstream.

         He looked at him, at the beads of cold sweat rolling down his forehead, sticking the pale blonde strands of hair to his skin, the smear of off-white foam on his lips, his chest rising and falling with shallow encompassed breaths.

         Then he spotted the thin trickle of pale bile running down the front of his clothes, and the dark red sprouting from his side, almost imperceptible under the dark fabric, even more in the shadowy depths of the chasm.

         “You are hurt”, Aether mumbled, feeling the frigid panic gripping his chest as he kneeled beside him, his hands drifting towards the oozing wound.

         “I was… attacked”, Dainsleif rasped, shifting as he tried to sit upright, wincing when newfound pain coursed through his body, his vision blinking out of existence for a second that lasted for too long. “By an abyss… mage.”

         “Don't move”, Aether practically ordered as he went to steady Dain, holding his shoulders parallel to the cave's wall, there to catch him if he blinked again. “Where is it now?”

         Dainsleif groaned at first, briefly closing his eyes as he motioned towards somewhere behind the two, where a pile of white twigs laid as if marking a grave.

         “I was able to defeat it”, he informed, holding a fist over his mouth as he coughed harshly into it, wincing at the twisting pain shooting through his abdomen. “But it still… managed to wound me.”

         The scowl on his face denounced shame, allowing such a lowly creature to hurt him, to catch him at his weakest. But Aether had nothing but sympathy in his gaze, or perhaps it was just pity. Dainsleif looked away from the traveler's golden eyes, eyeing the floating fairy on his way to gaze at the ground, a small huff leaving his mouth.

         “Be careful in your exploration. There could still be more of them… lurking”, he offered the advice as a send-off, shaking his head as noted the stubbornness of his tone.

         Aether frowned at his words, his eyebrows furrowing as he gazed at the wound, feeling the sickly salty stench of fresh blood stinging his nostrils.

         “Dainsleif, can you walk? Just a few steps?” he questioned, followed by sounds of him rummaging through trinkets and supplies as he sought something. “I can take you somewhere safe.”

         The wounded man merely shrugged, watching as the traveler settled what looked like a ceramic teapot on the ground. This had to be some sort of joke, he thought, feeling his arms slipping under his and swiftly lifting him off the ground.

         Dain let out a shuddering gasp of surprise as Aether hauled his arm over his shoulder, forcing his form into a vertical one and stretching his torso in the process, sending blood leaking out of the laceration on his side. He moaned in pain, unable to contain the sounds within him, and Aether froze under him.

         He was shivering so much it was hurting, his muscles tensing each time a cold breeze seemed to come from under his skin. The sudden motion sprouted uncomfortable dizziness just above his eyes, blurring his vision for a couple of moments, he struggled to make out his feet right under him.

         “Hold on. You too, Paimon”, Aether said, taking one careful step forward, focusing his mind on envisioning stony peaks and dusk skies.

         Dainsleif felt a warm breeze pass by him, but the comfort it brought was fleeting, as the current started swirling in front of him. It felt like he was falling, then he was floating, and then he was back at the ground again, with Aether looming over him, supporting his weight as he went limp.

         Had he fainted? He barely blinked and now, he was on his hands and knees, groaning as dizziness came in numbing waves over his head, piling on until he could barely see what was below him, the heat from his face making his vision wave.

         Paimon's voice was sounding off somewhere, but the meaning of her run-on sentences was lost behind the wall of white noise enveloping his head.

         Mercifully enough, he barely felt it when vomit gushed out of him, splattering onto the grass with a heavy almost sharp sound. He only noticed the added taste, unbearably sour and almost rotten, renewing the previous coat of acid once there.

         He could barely breathe around the heartburn, his mouth hanging open as dense saliva and vomit drizzled out, thoroughly soaking the blades of grass.

         His queasy stomach wobbled inside, sending nausea rippling across his esophagus, and rushing to his head. His brain seemed to be swimming inside, he felt so sick and disoriented it wouldn't command his mouth to close, leaving him pathetically drooling.

         “I've got you”, he heard Aether say just above him, feeling his slender fingers gathering the strands of hair glued to his face by sweat and grime. “Just try to breathe, okay?”

         And he tried, but his efforts were swiftly cut by a larger denser wave of puke adding to the steaming pile between his hands. He felt it lazily slide off his tongue as he gagged, spitting out what felt like a mush laced with wet cotton clogging his throat.

         Dainsleif coughed harshly, trying to clear his throat of the scorching acid, each involuntary motion sprouting pain on his side as if the wound was being pried open and dug into.

         The heavy sense of nausea crept back in the same pace it cleared away, momentarily leaving him panting, aware enough to see the puddle of a pale paste of digested stomach contents in between his hands. Blades of grass cut through the puddle, making him think in detail about porridge and how it tasted.

         He had to suppress another gag.

         “Dain? Can you hear me?” he could, but answering required energy he couldn't spare now, so he hummed. “We should go inside, think you can stand up?”

         Truly, he thought he couldn't, but he still forced himself back on his knees, the traveler lifting him with little effort as he did so. The motion sent his stomach flipping on its side, reminding him of the acute taste of vomit on his mouth, it was impossible to ignore.

         “Oh, what a mess…”, he heard Paimon mumble to herself as she hovered close to them.

         “I didn't mean to…”, Dainsleif tried to justify, the words pouring out of him slurred before he could consider them.

         “It's fine”, the traveler stitched himself in between the two, before any had the chance to protest. “It happens. Hah, for some reason, a lot of people get motion sick coming in and out of the teapot. I think it's something you just get used to.” 

         Teapot? He thought he misheard him, but apparently, they were in some type of inner world inside an artifact. Not exactly something novel for him, given how long he had existed, and how far he had traveled. But now, Dainsleif couldn't trust his senses entirely, so he reserved his critical thinking in exchange for brief astonishment.

         “W-Where…?”, Dain rasped as he took in his surroundings, blinking away the greyish tendrils lingering in the corners of his vision.

         He was standing in the middle of a floating island, with bright green grass under his boots, and stone peaks surrounding them, its roots obscured amidst clouds. Were they even in Teyvat still? There was a large construction a few steps from them, a mixture of architectures combined with surprising harmony.

         “It's a teapot realm, adeptal energy”, the traveler scrambled to explain, he must've noticed the confusion in his tone. “Ah, Tubby can explain it better than me.”

         Dainsleif weakly shook his head, he didn't have it in him to withstand the lecture, he had to muster all of his energy into not falling to his knees right then and there. But he didn't have to endure it for long.

         The traveler was moving quickly, taking in the direction of the large house, then through the door, and swiftly through the hallways. Dainsleif couldn't even participate in the impromptu tour, the pain was too much for him to register his surroundings, his head felt hollow with a phantom lingering within its walls. He could still taste something foul in his mouth.

         With his help, Dain settled on a soft mattress, feeling it sink under him as it invited his weary centuries-old body for a rest. He took deep careful breaths, trying to ignore the room that seemed to be spinning before his eyes, and that horrible rancid smell clinging to his nostrils.

         “Dain…?” He heard the familiar sounds of Paimon's cape wobbling as she hovered close by, and cracked an eye open to see her face of concern relax if only a little. “Oh, phew, you're awake… Uh, how are you feeling?”

         Truly, Dainsleif didn't have an answer for it. He felt, well… as if he was dying. But that was impossible, and he knew it.

         The burning sensation of that hellish device had all but faded, leaving a ghostly cold hollow feeling in its place. Yet still lingered on the tips of his fingers, weighing on his chest, making him feel as if he had been boiled from the inside and now left to rot.

         And the taste kept coming back to his mouth in waves, washing over his tongue, building up to a pool of dense saliva that he had to swallow whenever he felt it dribble down the side of his lips.

         Dainsleif let out a hum of discussion, letting his head fall to the other side as he hoped this would deter the little one from questioning him further. Yet, she simply watched him, eyes wide with concern while she still awaited an answer.

         “Paimon, can you go pick some fresh mint leaves for us?”, Aether asked calmly, settling a few supplies on the foot of the bed and sitting on a stool by the side of it.

         “Of course. Paimon will be right back!”, she exclaimed, disappearing into thin air and leaving star-shaped particles where her little form used to be.

         Aether let out a small sigh as he found himself alone, Dainsleif shuddering breaths and stifling coughs filling the momentaneous silence. He reached out with a hesitant hand, more like an invite.

         “Will you let me see your wounds?”, he asked, his eyes already glued to it as he saw the thick line of coagulated blood move along with his breathing.

         “As if I have a choice…”, he hummed, humorless, starting to undo the straps holding his cape, letting the shimmering fabric spread across the white sheets. “I can tell you won't let me rest.”

         “I will once I've cleaned and patched that”, Aether responded with a tone of sincerity, turning to his pile of supplies and prepping a cloth along with a small vile of a clean solution, the smell of alcohol gently drifting off it as he popped it open.

         “And the mint leaves? Some home remedy?”, Dainsleif inquired without taking his eyes off the meticulous lines that held his suit together.

         “Oh, that was just in case you wanted mint tea later. It helps a lot with nausea if you can keep it down”, Aether chuckled, sorting out the few of his medical supplies as he waited. 

         Dain hummed in response, carefully removing one sleeve of his suit, yet still holding the other as a way to obscure that side of his torso. He let the torn fabric drape onto the bed, exposing the extent of his wounds.

         Aether couldn't help the soft hiss that left his lips as his eyes landed on the deep gash on the side of his torso. It looked raw like something sharp had rocketed past him, taking a piece with it.

         The blood had already dried around it, forming a nasty layer of caked dust and a sheen of rust over his skin. The surrounding flesh had an unnatural purple and red hue spreading close to the laceration as if it had been frostbitten.

         Aether tried to hide his surprise as he approached the area with a cloth, dabbling more alcohol onto it before he gently pressed it against his skin.

         Dainsleif winced at the cool touch, pain prickling across his skin, but he stayed fairly still, sucking in greedy breaths through his teeth every time it moved.

         “I'm sorry. I know it hurts”, Aether murmured under him, trying to be the most gentle he could as he carefully removed the blood clots.

         “It's… bearable”, Dain responded, clenching his eyes shut as each movement sent a horrifying numbness to his whole body.

         None of the two believed him. Not when Dainsleif seemed to be growing paler by the second, his face drenched in a cold sweat, trailing down his neck and chest. True to his words, he believes the pain would become bearable the more he endured it, but it only added to the growing numbing nausea making his throat feel like it was being squeezed. 

         He kept swallowing repeatedly, his adam's apple overtaxed with so many travels. He pressed his lips and clenched his teeth, trying to fight the urge to curl over himself. He felt sick to his stomach.

         Aether kept a close eye on him, unsure if he would have to leap to catch him any time soon. He retrieved the cloth as he finished the cleanup, seeing the dark smudges and red stains lining the once white fabric, and he folded it, storing it away. It would do, for now, he noted, seeing that the laceration wasn't as deep as he thought, and it had stopped bleeding on its own.

         “I'm sorry… I've dealt with pain better in the past”, Dainsleif remarked as embarrassment ate at his face, something he thought he couldn't feel anymore after half a millennia. He didn't dare to look Aether in the eyes.

         “It's okay. You know you don't have to be strong all the time”, Aether said sincerely, a small sympathetic smile forming on his lips. “There are no enemies here, no abyss order. It's just a place to gather friends and enjoy some peace and quiet. It feels like it's not even part of Teyvat sometimes.”

         Dainsleif could see what he meant, but he certainly couldn't feel it. The very reason he was sitting there, enjoying said peace and quiet were because he had let himself relax, let his guard down in such a dangerous place, in the core of the dirt infested with terrors.

         And that was why that accursed cryo mage had ambushed him, and why he had been a second too slow as to let that icicle perforate him. That was why that abyssal creature had managed to rip a piece of his torso off.

         Aether took a roll of gauze and secured it around Dain's waist, excusing himself as he laced an arm around him and passed the fabric. His hand fell from the coat, letting it drape from his shoulder as Aether fit his inside, completing a turn and tightening it slightly. To hold it in place, he put a few pieces of tape at the end. 

         “There, all done. You should still see a doctor, though. This might take a bit to fully heal”, he told.

         Dain hadn't said a word in so long, Aether was starting to think he had fallen asleep while seated. He came to notice the muscles of his neck were tense and apparent under his pale skin, and he was shivering still, a slight blush to his forehead and cheeks.

         Aether took the medical kit and went to store it away, never taking his eyes off the man clinging to the edge of the bed. He watched as he shifted slightly, his eyes fluttering open, one hand hovering weakly close to his neck.

         “T-Traveler…”, he rasped, swallowing what sounded far denser than just saliva. Aether stopped in his tracks as he heard his voice bordering on a whimper, heavy with nausea. “I don't feel… well.”

         Aether rushed to his side only to find out his warning had come in several moments too late.

         Dainsleif jolted forward with a weak retch that sent pale vomit cascading out of his mouth, landing on the carpeted floor with an almost soft sound. If he hadn't spoken, Aether wouldn't have noticed given how muffled the sound was.

         The man hurriedly tried to placate the stream with his hand, but all it did was coat it in a sickening off-colored slurry, leaving it dripping on his pants. He panted, wide-eyed staring at the mess he couldn't contain, then at the traveler who looked just as shocked.

         “Oh, no…”, Aether mumbled, taken aback by the suddenness of the situation. He would be impressed if he wasn't stunned, the sheer quantity of vomit Dain had produced in the space of an hour was starting to worry him.

         He looked around, searching for any container he could grab, spotting a trash can in the corner of the room, he made a beeline for it.

         Dainsleif had already leaned forward, barely able to turn his head from his lap before more vomit rushed out of him, landing between his legs with a disgusting now heavy splatter. He gripped the edge of the bed so tightly his knuckles were white, harsh coughs rattling his pale frame as he struggled through the spell.

         The soiled hand kept drifting towards the wound on his side, hovering over it but afraid to touch it, his fingers arching into claws. With each contraction of his body, as his stomach squeezed itself empty, the pain would sprout from the laceration, sending a numbing shiver that spread across his torso in surging waves, like electricity coursing under his skin.

He let out sharp coughs that rattled his lungs. It stung as if shards of glass were being driven into his innards, perforating his chest every time it expanded.

         As soon as he caught a small break he sucked in greedy gasps, hissing in between his teeth as it felt like a pike had been shoved through his side.

         A container came sliding onto his lap, and he clung to it for dear life, promptly purging his stomach contents over the crumpled papers within.

         It felt like he wouldn't be able to stop now that it started all over again, feeling that repulsive now off-yellow mush pouring out of his mouth, making his mouth taste utterly revolting. His stomach seemed to be squeezing itself harder now, tapping at the bright stomach acid mixed with the food he had eaten before.

         When was the last time he ate? And what was it? He could barely remember, as the mushy texture and the faint smell of fermentation got washed over by the sour stench of fresh stomach acid. The attempts to call back any taste except rotten bile only resulted in making him gag, burying his head further into the bin as more puke splashed inside.

         He couldn't look at the traveler. His face burned with shame and fever, coated in a sheen of cold sweat and a mixture of sickness and saliva hanging off his nostrils in dense ropes. But he knew he was there, keeping the bin firm in his lap as his hand rubbed timid circles on his bare skin, heat rolling off him.

         The spells grew thin and more sparse, resulting in only a few trickles of bile dribbling off his tongue as nausea started to die down. His stomach throbbed under his skin like a sore wound, quivering inside each time he breathed. He could only pant as the expel sapped his remaining energy.

         “Dain?”, the traveler called, again and again, one hand going to cup his cheek, drifting towards his neck then leaping to his forehead. A soft hiss left his mouth as the heat prickled his palm. “Goodness… you're burning up.”

         “...guh, ughh”, he responded by gagging weakly, unable to come up with anything as his belly lay empty and achy. “I apologize… for the mess. I couldn't… gh–”, he groaned pitifully, his throat raw bringing the faint taste of salt to his tongue.

         “Hey, shush… it's okay. You don't need to apologize. You've been through a lot today”, Aether hurried to comfort him, feeling his heart sink when he heard the strain on his voice. “Did any of it get on you? Do you need to change?”

         Dainsleif just shook his head, slightly unsure of how to respond to it, he could still feel the slimy coat of cold vomit on his hand, some spurts of it drying in his pants, staining his shoes.

         “I don't… think so”, he rasped, extending the soiled hand for Aether to envelop in a clean cloth.

         Carefully, he picked up the now-offending bin and put it by the side of the bed, trying to ignore how much heavier it was now, the vomit sloshing inside, the rustling of wet papers, and the strong stench of sickness permeating the room.

         “Listen… I'll have to call someone to take a look at you. Are you okay with that?”, he asked as he sat back down, helping him put on his torn suit once again, leaving it unbuttoned.

         “There's no need… It'll heal in no time”, Dainsleif protested as Aether ran the clean side of cloth under his nose and mouth, thoroughly cleaning the smears of vomit on his face.

         “I'm not talking about that cut anymore. Well, that too, but I mean the fever, nausea… in the best-case scenario, you caught an infection from it. Worst, well…”, he frowned. “Their plan worked.”

         Dainsleif felt his stomach cower, closing his eyes again and shaking his head. “It's impossible”, he stated firmly.

         “I know, but still. We should be sure”, Aether insisted. “I could call someone from Mondstadt. You've been there, they know– I mean, they've seen you.”

         “Traveler, I'd rather”, Dain started, but cut himself off, taking a deep breath instead. “Could you at least wait… for me to rest first? If the fever doesn't wear off...”

         “Oh, alright”, he begrudgingly accepted, at least slightly relieved that he finally had decided to hear him. “But if you get any hotter, I'll call them immediately.”

         “Do what you want”, Dain huffed, coming off harsher than he anticipated, but he was already sliding himself under the covers, muffling his worries under soft blankets.

         “Would you… like me to stay?”, he asked, almost in a whisper.

         The traveler wasn't showing any signs of leaving in the first place, denying him a rest free from his watchful eyes, but maybe that was what Dainsleif needed now. Someone to watch over him. “I don't mind.”

         Aether let out a small chuckle as he scooted his stool a little closer, crossing his legs as he prepared for the long stay, conjuring one of the many books he received as a gift during his travels.

         “Get better soon, Dain.”

[twilightichor]

𝐂𝐂𝐗𝐈𝐈. Just made myself some time to complete the Natlan Interlude and I have to say that it's quite harrowing what these people had to go through in terms of hallucinations and other symptoms related to the abyssal exposure. Once again, I find myself thinking about what life in Khaenri'ah must've been like with the perpetual exposure to the Abyss, including very dark things like those obsessed with it thinking something along the lines of "it must be a blessing to be that way" and feeding even more into their belief that the Abyss can conquer even the gods. Moreover, there is something Iansan says that makes me think about something else:

◜Seems like the key to getting through to them is whatever they cherish the most. Kind of like their last spark of hope... [...]◞

I'm aware that she's meaning what the people inflicted by the Abyss cherish the most as a last resort to their recovery, but I couldn't help but think back about how Dain described those who we presently know as the Five Sinners: people of great esteem in Khaenri'ah, those who carried the hopes of the nation. While he doesn't include himself among the five (since some time I was sure that it's because he doesn't count himself as a sinner in the same manner as he does them), he was indisputably one among the six pillars of Khaenri'ah so to speak. It's quite curious the notion that they were revered as these people's "spark of hope", each on their respective fields. Not necessarily going around healing people, but giving them hope each excelling in their field of expertise that does give some hope that things can be better in the future. In Dain's own field, I would see him as a more battle-oriented strength, aiding mostly those of the high standing positions not solely because of his role as the captain of the Black Serpent Knights, but also because he comes from an important background, too.

One thing that crossed my mind and that seems to be a common interpretation of others is the fact that those "young brilliant ones of the age" he had gathered in order to save his brother and Khaenri'ah with it as something secondary may be who we know as the Five Sinners sans Vedrfolnir, who was imprisoned at the time. Although this is quite conflicting with the fact that Gold isn't precisely young, granted that the wolfhounds are of her creation and have existed since the age of the Crimson Moon Dynasty, and it also conflicts with the the prospect that, if they were revered so highly, then why turn to Lumine as their hope and not the others too? This is, unless we're once again talking about an even more clearly divided society that not all of them believed in the Abyss and originally, neither of the Six were aligned with it until something happened. This will still remain as a very big plothole for me, but the point still stands.

Lastly, the thought of naming Dain as the Twilight Sword. For one, I believe this must've been a very big honor for him granted that he's so serious in the art of swordsmanship and according to a leak, it's an actual ideal too but it's also so telling that he was seen something akin to a light in Khaenri'ah despite how arguably dim the twilight light may be (I still stand that he may represent the blue hour, which is also one of the moments within the twilight) —it's the moment where the sun goes down, after all—, because no matter how little the light is, it's a big deal in a place where the sun didn't exist and everything must've been mostly dark unless they had created an artificial sun of their own on the same fashion as it was done in Enkanomiya.

[sunnyrosewritesstuff]

3. About Bilbo from the POV of...Balin

Man! It’s been a bit of a busy Sunday! So for the option of “best friend” I realized many people headcannon it to be Ori or Bofur (and I love that!), but I have always loved the idea that Bilbo considers Balin to be his best friend. Mostly because I have really good friends outside my age range. 😊 

Reminder: You can make requests on the POVs I have left, and the masterlist can be found here.

***

Balin really didn’t know what to make of the hobbit upon their first meeting. He was certainly a polite fellow offering up his apologies so easily and very excitable. Beyond that, Balin never really expected much from their Burglar. Certainly never expected him to stand between Thorin and Azog, was thoroughly surprised by being freed by him in Mirkwood, and rather humbled by his bravery before a dragon. So he really should have learned his lesson by that point in counting out the intelligent and bold little creature. However, Bilbo, the newly crowned Consort, had an entirely new challenge for Balin to see him through: dwarven politics.

“Now don’t let Hulgar push you around. He talks loud and harsh, but be firm with him and he’ll back right down. And Ragram is like clay. He acts soft, but he packs a hard punch.”

Bilbo clapped Balin’s shoulder with a cheerful grin. “Not to worry. I’m sure it’ll rather be like taking tea with my relatives. I’ve dealt with brown nosers, and I’ve dealt with dwarves, and I’ve dealt with royal dwarves. I think a meeting in the Iron Hills is within my repertoire.”

Balin gave him a wry smirk. “Let us hope, Your Highness.”

Bilbo rolled his eyes right before they rounded the corner for the Great Hall. Bilbo’s face immediately settled into a disarmingly polite grin as he waited for them to be announced. 

“I bet you a pint that one of them slips up and calls me Halfling.” Bilbo leaned in to whisper.

Balin frowned. “We as a race are brash, but no one would be that disrespectful.”

Bilbo merely gave him a deprecating smile. “Double if they call me Burglar.”

“Fine. You’re on.” Balin finally smirked.

“Presenting, His Royal Highness, Bilbo Baggins son of Bungo, known Dragontongue, Consort of Erebor. And his Royal Advisor, Balin, son of Fundin.”

There were six dwarrows in total including Dain who was merely there to start the negotiations before stepping out. Balin expected they would be catching up with the king later, but his presence was not needed at a trade meeting that he already approved. The dwarrows bowed before Bilbo as the hobbit returned the sentiment to Dain before taking his seat which signaled the rest to follow. Dain gave a short introduction before adjoining. However, just before he left, he waved Balin over.

“I don’t want to step on the little blighter’s overly large toes by staying, but I don’t know if he stands much of a chance against this lot.”

Balin smirked. “If there’s one thing you should know about Bilbo Baggins, it’s that he is always full of surprises.”

“I’ve heard the stories.” Dain sniffed. “And I know my cousin thinks the world of his One, I just don’t know…”

“AND WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU’RE GOING HALFLING?!”

Dain and Balin spun around to see Bilbo had gotten up and left the table signaling for a servant.

“I’m ordering a pot of tea because it’s what one does to hide their contempt when dealing with rude company.”

“You dare insult us…” Gremmus swore under his breath.

“I do. But only because you’ve chosen to begin this rather amicable trade agreement with insults to myself.” Bilbo answered coolly.

“Master Burglar…” Ragram tried to appease.

“Consort.” Bilbo corrected quickly, his voice steel. “You see Master Ragram, like you, I had a former profession and then was promoted to Consort. I wouldn’t dare insult you by calling you Master Miner. So let’s speak frankly. We have gold, and you have iron. All we need to settle is routes and amount. If you try to negotiate for more, I walk. If you wish to continue insulting me, I walk. Erebor can easily go to others for material, but we have the largest gold mine outside of Khazad Dum. If you would like to try your luck with the balrog, you have my support wholeheartedly for I may not have experienced the flames of Durin’s Bane, but I have stood toe to toe with a dragon.”

The room was bathed in silence as Bilbo’s audience ranged from disbelief to shame. Bilbo’s tea arrived, and the hobbit thanked the servant heartily as he took a sip staring down the trade council.

“Now then, my dear gentledwarves, shall we continue?”

“I want one.” Dain balked with a large grin.

“Well good luck to you. I don’t believe Thorin is inclined to sharing his.” Balin laughed. “You can carry on your duties easy knowing Master Baggins has this well under control.”

“Remind me to invite Erebor to more negotiations! I think he could tame the Seven Lords if given the chance!”

Balin shook his head at his energetic kin promising to catch up with him later before returning to his place beside his Consort.

“Do you require my aid, my liege?” Balin whispered as the council calmly began to present their side.

“I believe I’ve got everything under control here. I wish sometimes I could talk to Lobelia in so plain of words without causing a scandal.”

“What’s one more?” Balin teased him.

Bilbo smirked behind his cup as he gave him a wink.

“Also I believe you owe me a trip to the tavern tonight.” The hobbit added.

Balin heaved a sigh. “Still paying for a couple of drinks is much easier than paying for damages.”

Bilbo raised a curious eyebrow.

“Last time I traveled with Thorin, he took an axe to the meeting table.”

Bilbo hid his exasperated laugh well, and Balin smiled. Even as some of the other dwarrows picked up on their hushed conversation, none dared to speak up against the Consort again. Balin would very strongly state that Bilbo was his favorite royal to work with.

[laequiem]

She kills my self control - Chapter 6

Even when I loved Nicasia, I never considered anything past a strategic marriage. I am not sure I am even capable of … loving that way. Unconditionally. There was never much of that in my family, either.

cw: unhealthy coping mechanisms (alcohol, sex); physical abuse; nsfw

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Chapter 6. A lot of wonder going through my head

"My door," I drawl as I approach Hollow Hall.

"My Prince," my door replies.

"Is my brother home?"

The last few days have been quiet for me, thankfully. Balekin is away more than usual, trying to get in our father's good grace. It was never officially announced who would be crowned, but we all know it will be Dain. That does not mean Balekin and Elowyn will not try harder than usual to appease the High King. It does mean, unfortunately for me, that my eldest brother tends to be in a bad mood when he is home. Consequently, I have made a habit of asking the door before entering, must I find some other place to be.

"No, my prince."

When I get in, a human boy takes my coat to hang. He looks no older than 14, is he new? I cannot tell. We cycle through so many servants that I have long stopped trying to tell them apart. We tend to keep twenty servants around at any given time. The turnover is quite high, as Balekin has a tendency for neglect and a penchant for torture. Some of them also mysteriously find their way back to the Mortal Realm with pockets full of gold.

Seeing the dazed boy does give me an idea. Since my brother is away, I can check on the servants and see if he already replaced the girl I sent back last week. So, I count. I walk the hallways, counting servants as I go. 

Eighteen.

I know for a fact that there were twenty last week before I freed the girl. Another one is missing. I survey the house again to see if I miscounted. Still eighteen. 

As I stand in front of a set of closed doors, I realize there is a room I have not checked.

I stare at the doors leading to the basement. I have only been down there a handful of times, when Balekin wanted to see if I had ‘toughened up’. The horrors that he did, that  I  did, still haunted my dreams. I put a hand on the door and breathe in deeply, gathering the courage to open it. The phantom smell of mildew and bodily fluids awaiting me in the crypt floods my senses.

If the missing servant is down there, I would rather not know.

A coward through and through.

None of the servants pay me any mind as I walk to my room and close the door behind me. On a mannequin in the corner, I see the outfit I had commissioned for myself for the coronation. 

The image of the dress I pictured for Jude flashes in my mind again. How well it would match with my own. I sigh at the unwelcome thought. I can hear Balekin's voice in my head, Romantic fool. You're a disgrace.  

Still, I rummage through my drawers. I find the sketchbook the tailor has left for me to decide which outfit I preferred. In it, I find some unfinished sketches for dresses probably meant for my sisters. I grab paper and ink, then trace the general shape of one of them on the new sheet.

I am no artist, but with the help of the sketchbook, I manage to draw a half-decent sketch of what I have in mind. An ombré dress, dark blue to white, with the silhouette of a forest stitches around the skirt, climbing up a form-fitting bodice with a plunging neckline. 

I order a servant to call for the tailor, not trusting anyone to deliver the message and not leak the information. If the information was to get to either of my brothers, I would never hear the end of it. 

I sit at my desk, twirling my quill around my fingers as I wait. As Fae royalty, I grew up being told that human females are for breeding. Vessels to carry Fae children, since we are so unlikely to conceive. However, I was never one to think about children: why produce heirs if I will never ascend to the throne? I would rather be free of the responsibility of raising them (not that my parents did much of that). Even when I loved Nicasia, I never considered anything past a strategic marriage. I am not sure I am even capable of … loving that way. Unconditionally. There was never much of that in my family, either. Still, could this explain why I seem to lose all control where Jude is concerned? A biological need to find a human to keep the bloodline going. Is this why her sinful curves have been keeping me up every night since the everapple incident? Why I am unable to take other females to bed without thinking of her?

A knock at my door makes me jump and brings me back to reality. I look down at my desk and realize I have been writing as I daydreamed. 

Jude. Jude. Jude. Jude. Jude. Jude. Jude. Jude. Jude. Jude. Jude. Jude. Jude. Jude. Jude. Jude. Jude. Jude. Jude. Jude. Jude. Jude. Jude. Jude. Jude. Jude. Jude. Jude. Jude. Jude. Jude. Jude. Jude. Jude. Jude. Jude. Jude. Jude. Jude. Jude. Jude. Jude. Jude. Jude. Jude. Jude. Jude. Jude. Jude. Jude. Jude. Jude. Jude. Jude. 

I quickly crumple the sheet of paper, aware that the fresh ink is going to stain my fingers, and call for the visitor to come in. The tailor enters and bows deeply.

“You asked to see me, Your Highness.”

This is stupid.

Why did I do this?

She will not even wear it.

Breathe in. Breathe out. 

You are too far down this path to back down.

I take my drawing and hand it to the dressmaker, trying my best to look overconfident.

“I would like to have this made for the coronation.”

She looks at the drawing and her brows rise slightly, but she catches herself quickly. “Yes, of course,” she puts the paper in her bag, “Shall I have it sent here?”

No. Absolutely not. “Send it to Madoc’s stronghold,” I pause for a moment, thinking of how dead I would be if Madoc (or Jude, for that matter) knew it came from me, “For Jude. Do not write who it came from.”

“Y-Your Highness, the general’s family already ordered their outfits,” she says, panicking, “I do not have the time to make two outfits.”

“Figure it out," I say as I wave her away. I cannot give myself time to second guess this.

[carewyncromwell]

[LOTR AU] Carewyn “Carey” Cromwell-Took and Orion II Ellessar, Son of Arathorn and Heir to the Throne of Gondor Moodboard

Inspired by @drinkyoursoupbitch and @no-moon-nor-stars!! xoxo

x~x~x~x~x

The small band of travelers settled in a glen just outside the marshy Swanfleet. It would take some time to follow the river up toward Rivendell, so it was decided that it’d be best to take that journey at first daylight. One by one, the members -- Gwendolyn “Wendy” Copper, shieldmaiden of Rohan; her partner and Rider of the Mark, Benjamin; and the elvin twins Selene and Artemis Claire de Lune -- all fell off to sleep.

Orion lit his pipe, the tiny flame flickering in the dark. The campfire had nearly gone out and, he thought, perhaps that was best. With the rumors circulating about the cursed One Ring having been found, he deemed it wise to not attract too much attention.

The ranger called “Amari” had thought he was the only one awake at first, until the soft chirping of crickets and rustling of trees gained fresh accompaniment.

“Far over the Misty Mountains cold

To dungeons deep and caverns old,

We must away ‘ere break of day

To find our long forgotten gold...”

Orion looked down, to see the final and smallest member of their group -- Carewyn Cromwell-Took -- carrying a small pile of wood over to the dying campfire. It was little wonder Orion hadn’t noticed her at first. He wasn’t impressively tall himself, but he still towered over the female hobbit. The thought had crossed his mind that she might even be considered small by hobbit standards, given that she only came up to his waist at full height. 

“The pines were roaring on the height;

The winds were moaning in the night;

The fire was red, it flaming spread --

The trees like torches...blazed with light...”

Her singing had actually lulled Orion into a rather relaxed state of mind, like a child listening to an engaging story -- but seeing her putting down the stack of wood she was carrying and poke the fire prompted him to say something.

“Forgive me for interrupting,” he said very softly, “but given that we aim to travel with stealth, it may be prudent to let it die out, so as not to draw attention to ourselves.”

Carewyn looked up, startled. Then her blue eyes softened and her ruby red lips curled up in a half-smile.

“I see what you mean,” she said, “but given the rumors...well, might the Nazgul take notice?”

Orion blinked. “The Nazgul?”

“Yes -- from what I’ve heard, they’re slaves to Sauron, aren’t they?”

“Yes,” said Orion. “They were corrupted by the nine Rings of Power Sauron gave them, and so can only follow his will and orders. If the One Ring has appeared, as they say...I daresay they would be the most dangerous threat we could meet, while traveling at night.”

“That’s what I thought,” said Carewyn with a nod. “Their primary weakness is sunlight, so they shouldn’t chase us by day...but they’re also weak to fire, so...”

“...Keeping a fire lit until morning would be wise, in case we needed to defend ourselves from a Nazgul attack,” Orion finished.

His voice was very level, but he was actually quite surprised. He hadn’t expected a being of creature comforts like a hobbit to be so...well, resourceful.

Carewyn nodded and set about relighting the fire. She poked the cinders into an open flame, added a cluster of sticks and some leaves, and soon was able to bring it back to glowing, golden light.

Orion considered the tiny woman’s back with interest.

“...The song you were singing,” he mused, “is it from your homeland?”

“The Shire?” asked Carewyn. “No -- I learned it from the dwarves of Erebor. It’s the tale of how the dragon Smaug conquered their home, oh, many, many years ago...”

“You traveled to the Lonely Mountain?” Orion asked, raising his eyebrows curiously. He’d never heard of a hobbit traveling somewhere that far, let alone dangerous. He leaned forward, resting an arm on top of his crossed legs.

“Yes. My brother Jacob had apparently had dealings with the dwarves of Erebor...so I went with two of my friends from the Shire, Bill and Charlie Weasley, to meet them. The dwarves weren’t able to give me all the answers I was looking for, but they were kind enough to host us for a few days. Duncan, son of Dain and Prince of Erebor, sang the Song of the Lonely Mountain during one of their feasts, and I asked him to teach me the words. It was actually on that same trip that I first met Ben.”

“I see...”

Orion put down his pipe at last, his dark eyes trailing over Carewyn’s face with a marked interest. He hadn’t been sure what to make of the two Rohirrim who rode alongside a little she-Hobbit on a white pony when they first collided, but it seemed that this little Lady Took had far more grit than her pretty white shirt with the bow-trimmed collar and wide tan skirt would suggest.

Carewyn cocked an amused eyebrow at Orion. “Are you surprised, that I traveled to the Lonely Mountain?”

Orion inclined his head respectively. “Forgive me -- I can’t claim any intimate knowledge of hobbits...but my understanding was that your people aren’t the kind to chase adventure.”

“We’re not, for the most part,” said Carewyn. “Nor am I either, truthfully. But my brother was -- he always took more after the risk-taking ‘Took’ side of our family, out of the two of us...”

Her gaze drifted down to the fire as she settled herself down on a small stone next to it. The golden-red light of the flames passed over her face, leaving dark shadows around her eyes and on the apples of her cheeks.

“He left the Shire to travel Middle Earth,” she said softly. “But just as he was about to come home...his letters stopped abruptly. We tried to reach out to other towns close by, but no one had heard anything from him. Weeks turned into months, and then a year and still...nothing. So I finally decided to set out and find out what happened to him. And it’s that journey that’s led me here.”

“Do you believe your brother has a link to the One Ring?” asked Orion.

“I believe he was hot on its trail, at least. He tracked its last sighting down to a cave in the Misty Mountains. Apparently from there, it was rumored to have been stolen by a hobbit and taken back to the Shire.”

Orion’s eyebrows furrowed. Was Carewyn’s brother the one who’d found the Ring and supposedly brought it to the elves of Rivendell?

“How long ago was this?” he asked.

“I can’t say for sure, but it was definitely a long time ago,” said Carewyn with a frown. “I hardly know how it could’ve been so long without anyone in the Shire catching wise, considering how in-everyone-else’s-business they all are...but considering the One Ring has now been found, I guess we’ll find out whether what Jacob heard is true or not.”

“And you might have your next lead about what happened to your brother,” surmised Orion.

Carewyn nodded, her eyes still on the flames. She paused for a moment -- then, without fully raising her head, she looked up at Orion out the top side of her eye.

“...Amari...may I ask you about your homeland?”

Orion raised his eyebrows airily.

“I’m afraid I don’t have one to speak about, Ms. Took.”

Carewyn frowned. “Did your family also travel?”

“If they did, I can’t testify to it,” said Orion with a light shrug of his shoulders.

Carewyn looked confused for only a few seconds -- then her eyes softened in a sad realization.

“...Do you not have a family, Amari?”

Orion gave the hobbit a small, reassuring smile. “No. But don’t pity me too much, Ms. Took. I’ve created a family of my own over the years, out of the friends I’ve made across Middle Earth. Much like you have, from what I can see.”

He nodded to the two sleeping Coppers. Wendy had fallen asleep with her head on Ben’s shoulder, only for Ben to likewise fall asleep with his head on top of hers.

Carewyn’s eyes softened upon her friends.

“...Yes, I have,” she murmured, and her voice echoed with fondness.

She glanced back up at Orion, her ruby red lips curled up in a small smile.

“I’d say you have more royalty in your family than I do in mine, however.”

Orion looked down at Carewyn, looking a bit taken aback for the first time.

“...What makes you say that?”

His voice was as balanced as usual, but he watched her face very carefully, all the same.

Carewyn’s eyes drifted away, landing somewhere in the area of his shoulder as she smiled a bit more wryly.

“Your...affect, I suppose,” she said thoughtfully. “Something in the way you talk and hold yourself reminds me of Duncan...though, of course, Duncan doesn’t tower over me nearly as much as you do.”

Orion couldn’t fight back a soft chuckle. “I daresay the Prince of Erebor also doesn’t dress in the attire of a ranger.”

His dark eyes sparkled with amusement, but they still trailed over the hobbit’s ginger hair and almond-shaped eyes carefully.

This Carewyn Cromwell-Took was truly a very intriguing woman...

Her ruby red lips still curled up in a pretty smile, Carewyn got to her feet and crossed over to the large tent that Orion, Ben, and Artemis had put up earlier. 

“Now then, shouldn’t you get off to bed too?” she said. “If you’re going to be helping us navigate tomorrow, your eyes will need to be in top shape.”

“Yes, but one of us should stand guard over the camp,” Orion pointed out. Seeing Carewyn’s reproachful look, he added a bit more gently, “I shall go to sleep once you have, Ms. Took.”

He suspected that she herself was also the sort of person to not go to sleep until everyone else had. It appeared he was right, since she crossed her arms and gave him a rather cool expression.

“I will go to sleep once I know you’re actually going to go to sleep, not just say you’re going to do it.”

Orion chuckled again. “All right, then.”

He leaned back onto the grass, resting his arms behind his head and folding his cloak into something of a pillow. Once he was lying down, he heard the flap of the tent move again.

“Oh...and Amari?”

“Yes, Ms. Took?”

“Please call me Carewyn. Or ‘Carey,’ if you’d prefer. I don’t let anyone call me ‘Ms. Took,’ unless they’re someone I’d like to remain a stranger.”

“I’m grateful that I’m not in that category, at least.”

Despite the lightness in his voice, however, Orion’s dark eyes softened slightly. He could hear the pretty smile in her voice when she spoke again.

“Good night, Amari.”

“...Good night, Carewyn.”

[legolaslovely]

Just Us and Fili

A/N: This is long af but I’m really proud of it! Also, I’m going through a Kili stage as you can all see. Hope you enjoy this story with our little babee. And props to you if you get my little Poldark reference! I’m obsessed.

Pairing: Kili x Reader

Word Count: 3,696 <don’t let it scare you! I promise it moves!

Warnings: teeny angst for plot, FLOOF, allusions to smut, drinking/drunk characters 

Summary: Kili, Fili and (Y/N) have a last night of fun at the pub before meeting Kili’s intended from another kingdom. Kili begins to have second thoughts.

Masterlist here

You were reading by the bright but fading light of the window in your chambers when the large door swung open. You glanced up to see the princes falling into the room.

“What are you-” you began.

“Damn it, Fili! We need to knock first!” Kili whisper shouted. “Come, come, come, we’ll do it again. Go! Go out.” He dragged his brother out into the corridor and closed the door again.

You rolled your eyes and chuckled, waiting for the sound. When they knocked, you called, “Who is it?”

“Damn it, (Y/N), you know it’s us,” you heard Fili growl.

“It’s Kili! And Fili. May we come in?” Kili said through the door over his brother.

“Come in,” you called, stifling your laugh.

Again, they stumbled into the room. Their shenanigans were nothing new to you, and often you took part in them. The three of you had been friends since you were dwarflings and you could usually read their minds when they were up to something. But today, you weren’t sure of their plans.

“What’s got you two so riled up?” you asked, taking in their heaving chests and flushed faces. You guessed they had run to your chambers from the other side of the mountain.

“We came to get you. We’re going to the pub,” Fili said, leaning on the wall in front of you.

You placed your marker in your book and set it on the windowsill before standing up with a stuck out hip. “I think I’ll pass. Going to the pub with you two is never a good idea. I learned that lesson well last time.”

“We’ll behave,” Fili said.

Kili took your hand and pulled. “Please, (Y/N). This may be the last time it’s just the three of us.”

That had dawned on you before he actually said it. It had taken weeks, but Thorin had finally put the last arrangements of Kili’s marriage to plan. Tomorrow morning, a kind and beautiful princess from another kingdom would arrive in Erebor to marry Kili in a few days. You were excited and happy for him, but you knew things would have to change a bit.

You winced, thinking it over. You would have been kicked out of the pub last week if you weren’t with the royals of Erebor. Kili whined at your face.

“Please!” He hugged you tight, squeezing the air out of you and bending to push his face into the crook of your neck. “I’ll carry you on my back if it means you’ll come.” His words were muffled and contorted as he spoke into your skin.

You glared at Fili as he chuckled. Kili started pulling you toward the door.

“Fine, but I need to change,” you said.

“Nonsense, you look perfect,” Fili said. You stuck your tongue out at him.

“But I need to at least do something with my hair-”

Kili lifted from your neck. “Leave it down, I like it down.”

You rolled your eyes and then looked closer at Kili’s face. His skin was flushed and his eyes slower than usual. He giggled and lowered his forehead to your neck again. You looked to Fili with wide eyes. “He’s already drunk.”

“Yes,” Fili said.

“And we’re going to bring him to the pub for more ale?”

“Yes.”

You sucked in a lip. “Okay.”

Kili cheered and vaulted you up over his shoulder. He ran to the door before you could yell at him.

“Put. Me. Down. Now.”

He set you down immediately. “Sorry.”

***

You noticed mixed reactions when the three of you entered the pub. The bartender and illegally painted ladies welcomed the boys with open arms, knowing they would earn their gold tonight. The waitresses and some of the patrons, however, rolled their eyes or shook their heads, probably thinking about the trouble they had caused the week before.

You shied into Kili when Buck turned from the bar and grinned brightly at you. You should have known he’d be there. You knew he liked you but you weren’t sure how you felt about him. He was more forward than you would have liked him to be. So for now, you’d stay in the boys’ care.

The first round was easily chugged but you took your time with the second. The princes, however, were on their third very quickly. It didn’t take long for Fili’s attention to be pulled away from you and Kili. Maggie Vopper had hiked up her skirts and sat herself on his lap, twirling his mustache around her finger and giggling incessantly.

You rolled your eyes at one of her louder cackles and tried to pay attention to Kili. Most of the times you had asked him about his intended, he steered the conversation away from the marriage. Now, with Mahal knows how many beers in him, he chatted without reserve. You learned he was quite nervous about meeting her and especially about the wedding.

“You don’t need to fret, Kili. She’ll love you. I’m sure you’ll be very happy together. She seems so nice from her letters and Dain said she’s beautiful.”

“She is- she seems to be. But… I don’t know.”

“What?”

“Nnnnothin’,” he slurred.

You covered his hand with yours and smiled. “What? You can tell me.”

“What if I don’t love her? What if I love someone else? Then I’ll spend my whole life with the wrong person. I mean, I’ve always dreamed of living with… What-what if that happens?”

He was rambling now. “I don’t think you’ll regret this, Kili. I think you’re going to be really happy. I’m gonna go get something to eat for us, okay?”

He stumbled trying to stand. “I’ll go get it.”

“No, I’ll go. I wanted to say hello to Buck anyway.”

Kili wrinkled his nose. “He’s been staring at you.”

“No he hasn’t.”

You glanced to the bar. He was staring at you. Even from your brief look you could see his eyes were dark and his grin was wide. You almost shivered at the thought. But if you didn’t get Kili something to eat, you could imagine how sick he would be when he met his bride to be in the morning. Thorin would execute you. And Fili was no help in this matter, his tongue had been down Maggie Vopper’s throat for the last ten minutes. You took a deep breath and stood.

Kili grabbed at your hand. “Don’t go.”

“I’ll be right back.”

“I don’t like that guy. I don’t like the way he’s lookin’ at you.” He stood, cursing when he bumped his knee on the table. He was glaring at Buck with his hands heavy on your waist. “I don’t want you to go over there.”

“I’m just gonna get us some food-”

“I’m not hungry.”

“Well, I am. I’ll be right back. I can handle Buck.”

“(Y/N).”

You pushed his hair from his eyes. “Sit. I’ll be right over there, I’ll get your favorite. Stay here and make sure your brother doesn’t suffocate.”

You peeled his hands from you and walked to the bar, standing as far away from Buck as possible. But of course, as soon as you ordered Kili’s meat pies, his gruff voice was low in your ear.

“Took you long enough to come over and say hi.”

You turned, getting your ear away from his mouth. “Sorry, I was just-”

“With that prince again.”

You hummed and quickly changed the subject. “I heard your business is going well. The drop in price of… ore must be be-beneficial.” You were distracted by his gaze falling from your eyes to your lips to your chest and wished you had the chance to change your dress before you left the mountain. You spun away from him, watching the bartender go into the kitchen.

“Yes, it’s going very well-”

“That’s wonderful.”

“I could make you something.” He pushed your loose hair from your shoulder and again you were cursing Fili and Kili for whisking you away before you could braid it back. “Forge a necklace for ya. Or a holster for that pretty dagger of yours.” His fingers trailed up your skirt to your thigh and you jerked away, grabbing the food from the bartender and making your escape.

“Don’t think so. Thanks, though,” you called over your shoulder. You let out a held breath as you plopped the pies on the table and sat. “After you eat these we can go-” You looked up to Kili and swallowed your words.

He pulled his lips from the scantily dressed dam on his lap and looked at you. “No, thanks. I already have plans for the rest of the evening.” He stuck one of the pies in the dam’s mouth and bit off the other end. “This one won’t leave me when I ask her not to.” He took the other pie and stood, slapping the dam’s bottom as she led him upstairs.

You sighed, leaning back in your chair. When you looked up, Fili was staring at you. “What?”

“You think we should let him do that?” he asked.

You shrugged. “He’ll treat her well, at least. Might be his last ever.”

He hummed and returned to Maggie Vopper’s neck.

You waved at the bartender for more pies and they were soon brought over to you. You gave one to Fili and the dam on his lap and picked at the crust of yours, your appetite gone. You knew Kili was only drunk and all would be forgiven and most likely forgotten in the morning. But you had never seen him speak so to anyone, especially you. You pushed the plate away and leaned on your fist, trying to decide if you should leave the pub now, or wait for Kili to come down.

As you stared at the staircase, another one of the working dams ran down them, flying straight through the bar to Fili. She whispered something in his ear. “Help? What do you mean help?” he asked.

You straightened. “What?”

“She says the dam with Kili needs help with him. We may have let him drink too much.”

“We?” you said.

He rolled his eyes. “(Y/N), please. I’m a little indisposed here,” he said, motioning to the dam on his lap.

You groaned and stood. “Unbelievable. The things I do for you. I swear to Mahal, if I get up there and he’s naked, I’m coming right back down here and sending you up.”

Fili waved at you from inside Maggie’s mouth.

You huffed and stomped upstairs. As you rounded the corner into the corridor, someone ran right into you, knocking the air from your lungs. When you straightened, you saw it was the dam Kili had brought upstairs.

“You’re the royal rescuer?” she asked.

“I thought I’d be rescuing you from him. Where is he?”

She turned and waved down the corridor. “Third room down. He’s a mess.”

“I’m sorry about that, his brother gave him too much to drink.”

“Not that,” she said, hoisting up her corset. “He’s cryin’!”

“Crying?”

“Cryin’! Moanin’! A blubbering mess about some dam he loves more than anythin’. (Y/N) or somethin’. I tried everything but he can’t stop cryin’ about her lovely hair, her tiny hands, her sweet smile. I do a lot of things, but I don’t do that.”

She huffed and slid down the stairs. Now that it was quiet, you could hear him. You leaned your ear against the door and heard sniffles and soft, broken sobs. If you didn’t know his voice so well, you would have refused to believe it was him.

The door creaked as you opened it, but he didn’t take notice of it. You thanked Mahal that his trousers were on, but didn’t rejoice for anything else. Seeing him lying on the bed with his face buried in a pillow was heartbreaking.

You whispered his name, sat on the bed and pushed his hair from his face. It was tear soaked and his eyes were red and puffy. You winced. “Kili, what is it?”

His breath hitched. “I couldn’t do it.”

“Oh,” you said. Fili should be here for this kind of conversation. “Well, doesn’t that happen sometimes? It’s okay, she didn’t care.”

He slapped the pillow hard and sat up. “Not that, (Y/N)! Mahal!”

You pushed his hair behind his ears and wiped the streaks of tears from his cheeks. “Then what is it?”

He pushed your hands away and looked at you. You could see his eyes were still sluggish with drink. “Why did you go with Buck?”

“I didn’t go with Buck. I hate Buck. I went to get you some food so you wouldn’t be sick when you meet your bride to be in the morning.”

“Oh, Mahal,” he groaned, slamming his head back against the wall.

“Is that what this is about? The arrangement?”

“No! Yes. It is but it’s also about- it’s about everything! Why is it all happening now? Tonight?” He slurred his way through, dumping every thought onto you.

You took his hands. “Kili, look at me. What’s all happening now?”

He forced his eyes to yours and sucked in a breath, shaking his head. His hair fell around his eyes and the words tumbled from his mouth. “I thought I could do it- I thought I could do all of this, but I can’t. When I saw you with Buck I thought I just needed- to be with someone else but I couldn’t do it. And now she’s coming tomorrow and I’m supposed to be with her but I can’t do it. You-you… I can’t do it.”

You brushed his hair from his eyes again, twisting it back and away. He leaned into your touch like you were the only thing keeping him upright. “I don’t understand. I thought you were excited about the marriage.”

“I tried to be excited. I tried because I’m the prince and I have to do certain things and this is one of those things but I can’t because it’s not with you. I can’t live my life without you.” His voice broke in his thick throat.

“I’m not going anywhere.” More tears streamed down his face and you felt your chest tighten.

“I love you,” he said.

“I love you too, you know that. You and Fili are my closest friends-”

“No, (Y/N).” He took your hands from his hair and held them. “I love you. I can’t marry anyone else because I love you.”

You started to shake. You weren’t sure if it was the alcohol, or the late hour, or your shock but your fingers trembled in his. “But it’s all- it’s arranged. She’s coming tomorrow. I thought you liked her. You never told me this.”

He pulled your hands into his lap. “How could I? For the longest time the biggest barrier was that I’d lose you, I’d lose my best friend. Then, Uncle made the arrangements so quickly and didn’t tell me about it and then it was too late.”

You stood, dragging your hands away. It is too late, you thought. “Fili… will know what to do. I shouldn’t have come up here, he’ll help you.” You backed away and headed for the door.

“Please don’t leave.”

You froze. His words were a harsh blow to your stomach. How could you leave when he asked you not to? But how could you stay?

“Please don’t leave. Please, just-just lay here with me. Tomorrow I’ll do what I have to but tonight… I need my best friend, (Y/N).”

His broken voice made you want to crumble to the floor. It was the worst sound you’d ever heard. You pushed your own tears down and walked back to him, lying next to him on the bed. You hovered above him for a moment and he ran his fingers through your hair.

“You left it down. I like it down.”

You sank to lie next to him, resting your head on his shoulder. It took a while for his breathing to normalize and you felt his chest shake a few times in the aftermath of his sobs. But soon it slowed and when you knew he was asleep, you snuck a glance to his face. You should have known it wouldn’t be enough.

You propped yourself up on your elbow and took in his peaceful features. His skin was still red and puffy and again, you pushed his hair from his eyes. Your fingers gently traced his cheek, jaw, and neck until they landed on his chest. You pushed the black curls absently, thinking about all he had said. Looking back, it made sense. You didn’t think the pressure or the beer made him lie, but you did think it gave him the courage to finally tell you.

You returned to his side, thinking about what was to be done now.

***

It was probably the commotion downstairs in the pub that woke you up the next morning. You sighed and rolled, blindly and subconsciously reaching for Kili. When all you could find was empty sheets, you buried your face in the pillow and growled. “I’m gonna kill him.”

“I’m right here.”

His voice startled you. You spun and lifted your head to look at him. He was sitting in a chair in the corner of the room, fully dressed and fully awake. You suddenly felt very self-conscious, like you were missing a layer. You were.

At the foot of the bed was your outer corset. When you laid eyes on it, Kili said, “It was digging into you as you slept so I loosened it. You took it off but I don’t think you were fully awake.” He chuckled.

You stood, tucking your tunic into your skirt, and shrugged into the corset before lacing it up the front. “Thanks. Wearing this all night would have been a mistake.”

“I know it bothers your skin,” he said.

You glanced at him and felt yourself flush as he watched you. “We should get back. Your intended will be arriving soon.” You sent him a shallow smile.

“She’s not coming.”

Your fingers slipped from the laces. “What? What happened?”

He walked over and finished lacing your corset for you. “Last night happened.”

You watched his gentle fingers deftly weave and tie the strings. Then his hands were on your waist. “Kili. You didn’t have to- Just because… I’m so sorry.”

“It’s all right. It’s not anyone’s fault. I can’t marry her when I know I love someone else. It’s not fair to her.”

“Or you.”

“Or me.”

His hair fell in his eyes and you resisted the urge to fix it. “Kili, I-”

“You don’t have to say anything right now, you just woke up,” he chuckled. He reached for your cloaks and handed you yours. You stopped his hands before he slipped into his.

“Wait, don’t. I don’t want to leave yet,” you said, staring at your hands.

“You want to stay in the sleazy room of the pub?” He laughed at you and tossed the cloak back on the bed. “You like it here?”

“This is where you told me you loved me, so yeah, I like it here.”

He pulled your chin up and studied your face. When he saw the sincerity in your features, his softened. He pushed your loose hair, running his finger behind the shell of your ear. You knew you had to say more but the look on his face took your words away. You started to fix the ties on his vest for something to do, something else to look at as you focused your mind.

“I don’t really know what to say to you. I’ve been trying to think all night, but I just-”

“It’s all right, (Y/N). I didn’t mean to spring it all on you like this. I know you don’t feel the same way and that’s okay-”

“But I do feel the same way.” You tugged at the knot you had tied and wrapped the strings around your fingers in the silence. “I’ve always loved you more than I thought I should. I just- I didn’t know what it was until you said it first.”

“Look at me,” he said with a chuckle. You smirked, despite yourself, and sighed as you dropped the ties of his vest. You looked up to see a sweeter than cream, knee-weakening, heart-swelling smile and you felt your chest tighten. “Let me court you,” he said. “If you have any confusion or doubts-”

“I don’t.”

“Do you ever let me finish a sentence?”

“I let you finish that one.”

His head dropped as he laughed. He grabbed your hands and kissed your fingers. “Let me court you. Let me show you how much I love you.”

“What will your uncle say? I’m no princess, Kili.”

“You’re a princess to me.”

You rolled your eyes hard but before you could look to him, he was kissing you. His arms wrapped tight around you and pulled you to him as his hand cupped the back of your head. He released you only to mumble against your lips. “Do not roll your eyes at me.” You could hear the smile in his voice.

You shook your head and threw your arm around his shoulders, bringing him down for another kiss that sent your heart soaring. He held your waist so tightly, it brought you to you tip toes. Then you felt him laughing.

“What?”

He set you down. “Can we please get out of this room? I don’t even want to think of the kinds of activities that have been-”

You grabbed your cloak and pulled him out the door. “Please don’t even finish that thought.”

“As if you’d let me.”

When you reached the corridor, he pulled on your hips and spun you. He bent to kiss your lips and then led you down the stairs and out of the pub. “Next time I see Buck, I’m gonna kill him.”

“Forget about him. It’s just us now. And Fili.”

“And Fili,” he said, pulling your shoulders into him and kissing your forehead as you walked arm in arm back to the mountain.

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Tagging those who may like this or those who voted for Kili in the last voting! Hope that’s okay! If not, just shoot me a message! <3 @deepestfirefun @alae-megallen @c-s-stars @theyoutubemaster @camoolla @sassydeputykidfarm @littlefool-smalljester  @dashesofink @purringcatball