#to be fair it was kind of stupid of me to think I could successfully grow an orange tree in central Scotland

[positivelyghastly]

I love getting my plant watering reminder after I’ve already watered my plants. I feel so productive and responsible (half of my plants are dying)

[ajortga]

can you keep a secret?

pairing: wednesday addams x werewolf fem reader

summary: you miss your girlfriend who's recently transferred to nevermore academy. your persistent whining is able to transfer you to nevermore and cling onto her the whole time there.

word count: 5k+

based off request!

-

W and R are in a relationship, W transfers to Nevermore. W and R may not have anything in common, but they do on some things, like R being an outcast as well (a werewolf ), R insists their parents that they transfer to Nevermore too. After they successfully did, R immediately finds W, the outcast's curious to what'll happen to R (obvi doesn't know they knew each other).. Basically every student in Nevermore sees them together everyday. One, asks W who R is to W, she answers truthfully, "They're My Lover." everything and everyone just goes crazy

-

“Cara mia, we live next to each other,” Wednesday says softly, brushing your hair back as you braid her black silky hair.

You hum, a little sad, finishing to braid her two tiny braids that hung low to her chest.

“But I won’t see you in school, baby." A huff escapes your lips as your girlfriend sighs, giving up on trying to coax your madness.

“Or at all,” you add, “you’ll have a damn dorm with some girl that you’ve never seen before. It’s not fair.”

The raven-haired girl rolls her eyes, “I’ll cut off my heart with the sharpest knife I know if I ever started to love someone more than you,” Wednesday suggests, trying to make you feel better.

She cups your cheeks as you refuse to speak and rubs her thumb gently around the pink tint covering them. A way to always make you feel better. Yet she knows better because you certainly don’t look better.

“We’re both outcasts Weds. My stupid parents just won’t allow me to transfer because they think Nevermore is weird. Yet they went to school there. That's not fair."

“They’re just trying to protect you. I'd feel that way too for our daughter if Nevermore had hurt me. If someone ever hurt you, they’re death will be a long one. Sufferable and miserable. So bad that they’ll beg for forgiveness before they bleed out.”

Usually Wednesday would expect you to smile and giggle, but you’re not. Why does your girlfriend have to leave you?

“Can’t you stay?” You ask, voice tiny.

“As much as I sneak out, Mother has already informed everyone including your parents not to let me stay the night. They are used to my.. Tactics per say.”

Your sharp nails from your growth as a soon to be wolfed out werewolf emerges, clawing the wood you attached to your wall when this kind of stuff happens.

"I can sneak you in and I'll even build you a door in my closet," you suggest.

"No, Y/N."

"What if we install a life-like robot and I'll sneak out with you?"

"No."

You huff angrily, slashing the wood.

Wednesday firmly takes your hand, and your hand almost scratches her, yet it stops as you don’t want to hurt her, “Stop that.”

“No,” you state, tugging your hand away and sinking them into the wood, so hard that a big ass dent forms.

Your girlfriend sighs, rolling her eyes as she sweeps her bangs away from her eyes, “I don’t know what you want me to do bambina. Maybe I could.. Sneak you away from this horrid place. But at what cost? Nevermore seems strange. Not strange in a way I’d want to discover in mysteries though.”

She sees the way you sigh, disappointed. Upset.

“You’ll be there for a whole school year, it’s far.”

“I’ll bring my typewriter. Distance won’t change that, swear on my cemetery. I’ll write you letters at night, secretly take the principal's mailbox and send them to you. Or I’ll threaten Thing in my backpack and crawl till he can give it to you.” Wednesday isn’t kidding, her stare is cold, well usually it was cold, but not towards you. “He can suffer in thorns, I’ll stitch him up, just as long as.. You’ll write back?”

You nod, yet you don’t care about the letters, you care about her.

“You’ll send them?”

“Yes.”

“Every night?”

“Yes.”

“What if you begin to stop when you feel like it’s not working anymore?”

“I won’t Y/N.”

“You can’t know that.”

“Oh, but I do.”

"No you don't, you don't know the future."

"But I do know that I won't stop sending my letters. I can feel it."

You stop scratching the wood and you bury yourself on Wednesday, breathing in her scent as you try to comfort yourself. Yet even when the lights are off, your heart is pounding, feeling alone.

-

A tear falls from your cheek as you watch Lurch stuff his trunk, Wednesday talking to her mother and father, while hesitantly hugging Pugsley. 

“You’ll have so much fun.” Morticia says, with a smile, kissing her cheek and staining it slightly with her black lipstick.

“Define fun as boring and a punishment, sure,” Wednesday stiffly responds, yet softens as she looks at you. She takes her mother’s hand off her shoulder and approaches you.

“If you cry, it'll be raining all day. And you don't want it to be all gloomy for you? I don't want my socks wet. A poem, along with two pages written in a small font. One to express my day, and one to express that stupid love so you can sleep peacefully at night with nightmares.” Wednesday says, stopping for a moment, “sweet nightmares,” she adds.

You nod, yet your tear stained cheeks aren’t really helping, she reaches up and wipes it off with her thumb. Then let you hug her, you immediately bury yourself into her and she sighs.

“I’ll be thinking of you, till every grain of sand can be counted.”

You watch her approach the car, then slip in. She has the window scroll down, and you look at her. As the car engine roars, you bite your lip. And slowly watch it wheel away. Slowly jogging till it’s out of sight.

-

It’s been two weeks. And sure enough, Wednesday has kept her promise. She’s sent you letters you’ve kept in your drawer, they’re never repetitive, but always show you love. You like it like that, knowing that it isn’t a chore for her to write letters for you. If anything, they’ve lengthened in size as she's sent more and more.

It makes you miss her a little more. You have to hug your life-sized stuffed animal at night that she sprayed her perfume on. She also left half a bottle on your counter, just in case it runs out. Though it takes longer to sleep, it makes you feel a little better knowing there was something that was like a piece of her beside you.

Thing has visited you, and you know that little guy has a huge memory. You lost the letter you were going to hand Thing, and though you were a little sad, he moved his fingers and you realized you could speak to him for hours and he would tell Wednesday every detail. She had even wrote to you,

~

I owe Thing a thank you, yet he can be provoking at times. He had communicated to me for an hour, thirty minutes, and thirty two seconds about your day. I always wonder what secrets lay in the Addams Family. Yet I’m not quite comprehending why Thing has a big memory space.

Nonetheless, I think about you everyday. My roommate, Enid, has been unpleasant with her interesting taste of fashion and colors. It’s distracting. In a negative way. You’re distracting in a way where I can’t take my eyes off your enticing figure Y/N. Weems had bothered me the whole day, smothered me with questions and made sure I was doing fine. No wonder why mother got along with her so much. Those two are like the same person just one with smothered ink. But, something that sparked my particular interest was that you can dorm with two other people. Thing had told me that there was an accident at your school. If you’d like, which I’d appreciate, could ask your mother about transferring, say it’s dangerous. You aren’t a late wolfer, but convince her possibly that Nevermore can increase your chances. Wish you were here, I hate Mr. Tuesday. That white bunny is always staring at me during my typing time. But I can tolerate him a bit more, knowing you gifted it to me. You love Mr. Tuesday, so I appreciate your gesture. It’s not often I get visions, but they’ve almost made me want to experience them more. I see you in them, baking. Writing to me. It makes me almost happy.

Enid keeps trying to get to know me, she’s a strange soul, but she’s a werewolf, like you. You two are nothing alike, yet I think you two would get along a bit too much. Except you don’t blast random glitter pop music during the night. During my WRITING TIME. Even thinking about it rots my brain. But I miss you cariño. Sleep tight, I’ve left at least 300 things to hide in your house and you’ll never expect where they are. But everyone is special, it’ll make you at least smile a little when I tell you each night. Today’s item is snuck inside your bed, I used Mother’s chainsaw to cut through the wood, it’s a tiny version of Mr. Tuesday. I asked Thing the other day to sneak it in that spot and he sanded the wood back in. It should be a sort of door. But I crocheted it during my free time, there are times where I can’t think during my writing time. That is an understatement, but I only think of you. But I’m hoping you can enjoy it for today.

Love you, sleep cozily,

Weds

-

You smile as you look under your bed, now noticing the small outline from Wednesday’s chainsaw and you open the little compartment to see another crocheted white bunny of Mr. Tuesday. You nuzzle it and place it on your desk. You love him. You even spent a few minutes grabbing white yarn and attaching it to your tote bag.

You think about what Wednesday said, someone had gotten hurt in your school from being stabbed by a senior that was drunk. Obviously he didn’t mean it. But you had seen how anxious your mom got when she found out the news.

It was 11:23PM, and your mom’s room light was illuminated from the hallway. You get out of bed, ruffle your hair, and approach her room. Your only thought is Wednesday.

-

Before you could even ask, you already noticed her holding a black card, the logo of Nevermore Academy apparent. It said in bolded letters, 1965 Jericho’s long lasting Nevermore Academy. One for outcasts.

“Mom?” You said, your voice slowly quiet, and she looked up at you, waving you over.

“Hi honey,” she replies, “I’ve been thinking about the accident at your school. And I know you don’t like that place that much. And as much as I feel like I should keep you there. Your safety is important to me.”

Your excitement grows, you want to have that wide smile off your face.

“So?...” You question, wondering if she was saying what you were thinking she meant.

“And you keep bringing Wednesday up. So me and Morticia talked, and I talked with your father. We’re going to send you to Nevermore, but only if you want to. As long as you write to us every end of the week and call us. We want our little wolf to meet ones like her. It’s not often you find ones like us here.”

You nod.

“Yes!”

You didn't even think it would be that easy.

-

As soon as you get the news you squeal and call Wednesday early in the morning. She responds almost quickly, her voice on the other line, “What brings you to call me this early Y/N?”

“I’m transferring to Nevermore!” You say, you were much more excited but your tired voice betrayed you.

There’s a pause, then a small, “What?”

“I’m coming!”

A laugh and you can almost feel your girlfriend smiling with a toothy grin with her ear pressed to the phone.

“I knew your parents would let you go somehow,” she says, voice more excited, yet anyone else would not notice but you.

You can hear some rustling, “I’m going to ask Weems if you can dorm with me. I can kick Enid out for all I care, yet she isn’t horrible. Just, I’d rather spend it with you if she doesn’t allow a three dorm. Maybe I shouldn’t bring up a three dorm at all.”

“Thing, go back home and ask Father if Lurch can drive Y/N to Nevermore. Actually, include that if he won’t ask, I’ll shave his head off. Also make sure that he sprays two times of her favorite perfume, have her favorite sour candy ready, her headphones, her books, and tell him to pack some melon milk for her too. And her cow stuffie. Make sure he’s playing the playlist she made that’s saved in the car.”

There is a pause, and she makes a small, ‘oh oh’

“Baby,” Wednesday doesn’t call you that much, but when she does you’re over the moon. It usually shows that she’s happy. Really happy, yet her voice is still soft and composed, “I installed a door behind your clothes in your closet, guess we’ll unwrap the 300 presents when we go home. But I got another Mr. Tuesday there, he has some sort of costume on.” 

She pauses, you hear a random girl jumping up and down in the background, squealing about something as your girlfriend groans and presses her ear back into her phone, sending Enid an annoyed glare, “Pack your stuff, I’ll be waiting. I might as well cut my ears off if Enid won’t stop blabbing her mouth off.” You can tell that Wednesday turns her head to face her new roommate, she says louder, since Enid couldn’t hear her talking to you, “Better yet, slice her mouth off.” Then Enid’s squeals die down.

You grin through the phone as you grab out another version of Mr. Tuesday with a mushroom hat, you hug him tight.

The doorbell rings and you hear your mom open it, putting Wednesday on speaker phone.

“I’m almost done packing.”

“Y/N, honey. Mrs. Addams requests to see you,” your mother’s voice echoes through the hallway and you glance at the door.

You don’t know how Wednesday can hear it but she does, “I’m taking into conclusion that she received my message. Oh yes, she replied with those stupid icons. Yet it is one of a thorny rose and a gravestone.”

“Coming!” You stuff your bags, “Be right back.”

-

You almost choke as Morticia brings you into her embrace, hugging her back with an easing gentleness.

“Hello little one,” her soft voice says, the one you find comfort in as much as you do Wednesday’s. She gently rubs your hair, “I informed Lurch for your arrival, he’s outside whenever you’ll be ready dear. I’m so glad you decided to willingly join Nevermore. It has been a place that holds many memories. It’s where I met Gomez and fell in love. Maybe Wednesday and you can find the secrets in it. Go on journeys with her. Dig some graves, set them on fire."

It weird you out, but you smile, nodding, “To spend it with Wednesday is all I need.”

“You’re a special soul, a pure heart I can handle. Now go,” she waves you away, “Don’t keep him waiting for long.”

You give her one last grin and look over your shoulder before turning the corner.

-

After hanging up on Wednesday when you finish packing all your bags, your mother and father hug you goodbye and give you your favorite cranberry juice. Sweet.

It’s cozy in the Addams car, comfortingly with no talk, just the music Wednesday requested (forced) Lurch to play that lingers in your playlist. You feel like a butler with all the requests Wednesday smothered him with.

An hour passes and you can see the way the clouds slightly come into view, then you see the environment change as a sign that reads, “Welcome to Jericho! A Town of History”

Then, you finally see the academy in view, and Lurch arrives right in front, before taking your bags and guiding you to Principal Weems.

“It is my honor to have you here at Nevermore. This school has history, and where you’ll certainly grow,” her smile is wide, a little too welcoming it gets a little scary.

You just give small mumbles and nods, “Well, Morticia called me this morning and I quickly looked through your demographics. It also isn’t a coincidence that you have straight A’s. A 4.3 GPA. Many extracurriculars, and of course, you’re a werewolf. I see.”

“It is no surprise also that you had gone to the same school as another student who just enrolled, Morticia’s daughter, Wednesday. She sure is.. Different. But nonetheless talented. She had asked me yesterday afternoon if it was possible to have a dorm of three, and I’m assuming that you have been planning to dorm with her for the rest of the semester?”

She reads your mind, you immediately nod your head up and down, “Yes.”

“Well, most of the 3 dorms have been occupied, but her and Enid seem to have a slow relationship. I’ll have her in my office today, but by the end of the night or tomorrow morning I’ll give you my answer.” Weems scribbles on a note, writes some address and a name, “You’ll be rooming with Yoko, sound okay?”

You nod.

“Alright, I’ll call Enid up, for your guide.”

“..Guide?”

She nods, “Of course, we have many classes you can do, and people you can meet. She knows this place well, and I know that she’ll open up your shell.”

-

As Wednesday watches Enid leave, a soft grin forms on her face as she unties Thing from the random crocheted pink jacket Enid made for him.

Her eyes scan Enid as the door closes, then she turns to him, “I’m expecting Y/N is here. I’ve crocheted a questionable amount of Mr. Tuesdays.” She informs, “I shouldn’t have admitted that,” Wednesday sighs, as she pulls out the drawer next to her to reveal at least 40 assorted sizes of the same bunny. There were some in outfits, wigs. Wednesday almost finds it as therapeutic as her writing time. She crochets them whenever Enid leaves their dorm.

Thing smacks his head, and the braided girl glares at him, “Don’t judge me, I can cut off your fingers any time,” she threatens, seeing the way Thing surrendered with two fingers up in the air.

Then he moves around his fingers and does random hand movements.

“You think I’d follow Enid and try to make conversation with Y/N so much that Enid will get suspicious? You’d really think I’d do that?” 

Thing agrees.

“Then, you know me too well, let’s go.”

-

“Enid, glad you’re- Wednesday? It seems like you’ve tagged along,” Weems adds as she almost seems surprised, looking at her. If anything, the look in her eye is cautious.

“Yes,” Wednesday responds, trying to avoid the way your eyes almost smile as you look at her, but if anyone else were to look at you, they wouldn’t notice. “I’ve decided to accompany Enid, this is much more exciting than some other events at Nevermore,” she adds again, not entirely rude.

You sit in the middle while Wednesday takes the only left seat available, scooches her chair closer. Her hand rubs over yours after meeting under the covers of Weem’s desk. She takes note of how a small smile creeps on your face when Weem talks because of that.

“This is actually so awesome,” the blonde cheers next to you, making you turn your head and turn it, confused.

“We’re both werewolves silly! We should dorm 3 together! Wait, are there even any 3 dorms left?” When the principal shakes her head no, Enid sighs, “Then Wednesday can pair with Yoko. Actually, she barely even talks to Yoko, let alone handle her better than she’ll be able to handle me.”

You blink, glance at Wednesday for a moment and she shakes her head frantically.

“What if I dorm with her?”

The question leaves everyone silent, well everyone is surprised but Wednesday.

“You’d want to room with Wednesday while Enid rooms with Yoko?”

There's a lingering silence as you look around, “Why not? I'd like to get to know her better,” you lie. The most you want to do is get to talk to your girlfriend again.

"Oh. You don't want to, you know, get to know Wednesday before actually having to dorm with her?"

"Nope."

"Well, then that’s settled for your dorm. I’ll have to file Enid for a dorm change. But I’d like to ask if that is okay for both Wednesday and Enid.”

“Yes,” your girlfriend immediately responds, then coughs a little to cover up her excitement that’s masked behind her calm demeanor. “I can take a break from someone that is the complete opposite of me.

“I’d be happy to dorm with Yoko, at least I can have my music playing at night and my glitter-”

“My ears are bleeding Enid, don’t mention that word you just said.”

“Glitter?” Enid questions.

“No.”

You giggle from your girlfriend’s demeanor, squeezing her hand under the desk.

-

“This is Ophiela Hall! You don’t need to find your people here, you can make plenty of friends in other groups, but you have a group of werewolves! And what makes it even better is that we haven’t wolfed out!” Enid jumps up and down and you watch her legs bounce up and down, up and down. She’s like a whole party.

People give you two small looks, both you and Wednesday can tell they’re almost surprised she tagged along with someone whos new. It makes you smile a little.

Your girlfriend notices them whispering about you. Not anything bad, you seem like the sweetest person out of them all, but they’re whispering about the two of you. Even Bianca gives you a cautious look, but you’re too distracted to know what their saying as Enid keeps talking to you and dragging you along. Wednesday follows like a puppy.

“Enid, hey.” A boy speaks up, and you turn around at the new voice, he’s wearing blue and a beanie. The same tie everyone is wearing.

“Oh hi Ajax, this is Y/N. She’s new and I’m showing her around.”

A glare is thrown at Ajax as your girlfriend exhales. You give a small wave, “Hi.”

“You a werewolf too?”

You nod, seeing the way his hat kind of turns sideways, poking some peeking out snakes back into it. That’s scary.

The bell rings and you look around, confused, Enid grabs the paper you stuck in your bag.

“Oh, hey! Your next class is with Wednesday and I, it’s just plant anatomy with Thornhill. Come on.”

-

Somehow Wednesday gets Xaiver to move away from her, so now you’re sitting next to her.

“What the hell is this class?”

“Thornhill just talks about plants. The only entertaining aspect of this is that I like seeing Bianca fail to beat me. Though that goes in almost everything.”

The auburn hair girl turns around, with a wide smile and fairly big glasses for the size of her head.

“It’s a pleasure to have a new student, I’m glad to have you in our third period class Y/N.”

You embarrassingly smile, everyone looking at you, some with smiles and some with just small glances. 

“Could you give us the formula on how to turn this plant into a…” Thornhill goes on and you look at the plant, it seems it’s a Ghost Orchid.

You answer almost immediately, and Wednesday nudges you with her foot to almost say a ‘yay.’

Bianca stares at you as Thronhill clasps her hands together, “Exactly, you know your plants well. I’m sure you’ll excel here. Today we’ll have a change of assignments. It’ll be a challenge for duos against other duos and whoever answers first, and correctly for that fact, will earn a point till all the questions run out. Sound easy enough? Alright, let me get my cards ready.”

A knowing smirk grows in between you two, “We’ll win in no time,” Wednesday states, you look at the duos. It’s you and her, Enid and Yoko, Bianca and Divina, and other people you have no clue about, including Xaiver.

The game starts and before Thornhill can even get to the end of the question, you and Wednesday slap the bell, giving out the answer.

“Quick hands,” Xavier mumbles.

“That’s correct! Great job girls.”

The game goes on, and you’re tied with Bianca’s team. The silence can be cut with a knife as the two duos anticipately wait for the question. As Thornhill begins to read out the question, it takes you two a while to know the answer. Bianca and Divina seem stuck.

It’s several moments before the learning in your past catches up to you, slamming the bell and saying out the answer.

“Correct once again! You two win, great job! You can grab a succulent or stick to two pieces of candy that’s probably expired at the end of class.”

You and Wednesday high-five and to say the least, everyone is surprised because the braided-hair girl never let’s anyone touch her.

-

Weeks have past, and you’ve never been happier. Giving ideas for Wednesday’s stories that even she never thought about, helping her crochet more Mr. Tuesdays, so much that she had thing steal a laundry basket from Weem’s office, and even braid her hair and put black ribbons. She’s grateful to have you at Nevermore, her stories have been expanding because of you.

Your always stuck to her side, fencing playfully with her, even willing to go out in the woods with her. But she hasn’t went out since your arrival, knowing that you wouldn’t want to leave her side, and she certainly doesn’t want you getting hurt.

Even you and her worked together designing a matching cat on your black and white pajamas.

It’s fun when you two get to talk about life when you two are in your dorms, even better when you two are on the balcony and watching the stars. Wednesday plays the cello while you sing. She loves that she has someone that she puts her closed-off personality aside for.

“I love it, you look so pretty with bows baby,” you say, tying the ribbon.

“You look pretty with bows or without cara mia.” 

“Shut ‘p,” you say, smacking her arm lightly as she wraps her arms around you and rubs your hair.

It’s not long till Weems announce that it’s time for lunch.

Wednesday gets up, signalling you to come with her, but when you don’t, she comes back to sit next to you.

“I’m just looking for my necklace, you can go ahead, it won’t take long, promise.”

She sighs, and nods for a moment, then points at Thing, “Help her.”

Thing waves his hands as she blows a soft air kiss and closes the door.

-

It’s sprinkling a little bit when Wednesday is outside.

“How does Wednesday act so non-hazardous with Y/N? It’s honestly impressive.”

“That’s not impressive, how the hell does she not smack her or give her glares? Do you not see the way her eyes actually look normal when she looks at her? Not even normal, they’re gentle! Plus she was the first to go run and get a bandaid when Y/N accidentally got a paper cut.”

It’s like they summoned the girl, who’s holding a plate of her lunch.

Enid smiles and Wednesday sits down, looking at everyone.

“Are you seriously speaking about me?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“We want to know why the hell you are actually sweet with Y/N.”

“You could’ve used any word besides sweet.”

“Baby-like?”

“Even worse.”

“Don’t dodge the question,” Bianca adds, somehow now being in this conversation, “You killed the biggest spider that was crawling to her, for her.”

“She doesn’t like spiders. Who wouldn’t use not being afraid of spiders to protect someone who is?”

Bianca blinks, then wrinkles her nose, “If it was me you’d certainly let it bite me.”

“Well that’s different.”

Everyone at the table groans, “Exactly!”

“What did I tell you?”

“The only person you’d not let it bite is Y/N, we just want to know why.”

“I’m protecting her because she’s my girlfriend.”

Everyone turns their head to her, “What?”

Enid slams her fists to the table, “I fucking knew it. I knew it! Ajax, you owe me five dollars. I CALLED IT.”

“The Wednesday Addams actually has a girlfriend?”

“Why didn’t we catch on?”

“They’re kinda cute together- don’t even speak or she’ll actually cut your head off if you say cute.”

Everyone is arguing with each other, going crazy. But by the time they cool down and look at where Wednesday was sitting, her seat is empty.

Then everyone looks around and sees her draping her black jacket over your tiny figure, she pulls you closer to her chest as you hold onto her. (Let’s say she’s atleast 4 inches taller than 5’1 in this.) You tug her big jacket over your shoulders as you hug her. She holds onto you and guides you to the table, kissing your forehead and brushing your damp hair.

Even when she comes back, she bends down and takes the butterfly that’s resting on your hair and places it on your hand. “I heard somewhere that if a butterfly lands on you, it means that they see you as a beautiful flower.” 

“I never heard that before.”

“I know, I made that up.”

Everyone starts screaming again, making your girlfriend and your heads snap at them.

“Look at them!”

“Aw! So cute!”

“I want to say this is disgusting but they’ll be my roman empire soon enough.”

You turn back to her, seeing her eyes soften, almost happily, "You told them?”

“I didn’t know why they didn’t conclude to that in the beginning.”

Bianca groans, rolling her eyes as everyone is screaming, then Xavier chimes in. "Back to that spider scenario. I definitely think Wednesday would kill it for me."

You glare at him, clinging onto your girlfriend a little more like a koala. She rubs your back as you tighten your arms around her.

"Your sense of self-love is filled with stupidity. I'd kill the spiders that are harmless to you and leave the ones that are most venomous and ugly looking for people like you, have some respect."

Xavier goes quiet, making a defeated grunt.

Everyone does their little, 'awws' again. You turn to her, now that everyone knows about your status.

“At least we can kiss in the hallways?”

“Maybe save that for the dorms.”

“Can we kiss right now?”

Wednesday’s eyebrows lift up, and she sighs, turning you away from the group and giving you a light kiss, as your lips press together, she nudges a small Mr. Tuesday now with inverted colors, a black bunny. They're both holding hearts and have a star over their head.

"Now Mr. Tuesday has a Mr. Wednesday," she says softly, tucking her black jacket tighter around you as you continue hugging her.

"And Miss. Y/L/N has a Miss. Addams."

[itsmarsss]

Ruin [Marc Spector x fem!Reader] (Moon Knight)

It surely wasn't like him to invite someone over to his place, especially someone he barely even knew. It was dumb and reckless and-

Word count: 840

Warnings: sex is heavily implied and anticipation and sexual tension are through the roof. no real smut tho sorry it’s just a tiny lil’ scene. rare occurrence of me using third person (i dont vibe w it but this is kinda like marc’s pov so)

Marc felt like a hormonal teenager as he tried to unlock the door to the apartment with some fair difficulty, which could be blamed on his eagerness. Or his nervousness. Probably both.

His hand was slightly trembling and for fucks sake, if it weren't the only key Steven carried with him, he would have swore it was the wrong one.

He closed his eyes and inhaled, a stupid attempt to calm himself down.

How pathetic. What an embarrassment.

"Shit, sorry.”

She laughed at his frustration, but not the kind of laugh that silently calls you pathetic. Not a laugh that was aimed at him, Marc, the person, but at the situation.

"Are you sure this is your place?" She questioned, humor obvious in her words.

"Very funny." He finally managed to insert the key right, twisting it and successfully unlocking the door. "See?"

She put her hands up in surrender, and Marc found himself smiling at the action. How cut- pathetic. What the fuck was even going on with him tonight?

It's been a while. That's probably it.

He pushed the doorknob and opened the door to the place, turning the lights on before entering. She followed suit, closing the door behind her.

She stared at him for a bit, trying to think of what to do or say now that they were there. "Um so-“

"Are you nervous?" Marc asked. What he lacked in actual confidence he made up for by faking it.

"What? No I'm not." She was. He could feel it.

"You look nervous."

"I'm not," she insisted.

"Okay." He crossed his arms in front of his chest. "Then what is it you wanted to do?"

"Me? Last time I checked you're the one who wanted to bring me home."

"I can think of some things I wanna do."

She bit the inside of her cheek, debating with herself over where to go with this. The answer seemed to be ‘fuck it’. “Show me, then."

A glint of mischief made its way to Marc's eyes. He was enjoying this. Shit, they hadn't even done anything yet.

It surely wasn't like him to invite someone over to his place, especially someone he barely even knew. It was dumb and reckless and-

"So?" She challenged him when he didn't make any advances, too lost in thought.

"Shit," He murmured, suddenly too turned on by her attitude to care. He took his time taking a step forward and making the space between them impossibly small.

She actually grinned at him, a determined look on her features. Now that's just fucking begging him to touch her. And then he was sure he was done for. She didn't move, still leaving it for him to do so. Challenging him to.

And so he did.

Marc leaned forward, tilting his head a bit to the side and grabbing each side of her jaw with his hands, pulling her into such a feral kiss that it left her stunned.

"Wow. Okay," she exclaimed quietly after Marc pulled away for a second, both out of breath.

"That okay?"

"Are you serious?" She asked, because, holy shit, it was more than fucking okay. Before he could say anything in reply, she was pulling him down by the collar of his red button up and kissing him again, with the same eagerness as before.

He smirked into the kiss, content with the reaction he received, her hands still firmly holding a fistful of his shirt while his went to her waist, squeezing slightly.

She released his shirt in favor of running her right hand slowly over his chest.

Marc pulled away again, and she didn't even have time to utter a word before he was grabbing her hand. "Come ‘ere.”

She followed him to the desk in the middle of the place. If she got asked how many books you thought there were on it, she would have probably guessed about a million. That sounded about right.

Marc seemed to be pondering something as he looked at them. 'Aw, Steven will survive.'

With that thought, he didn't waste a single second more before clearing the desk, throwing everything that was on it to the floor in a swift motion.

"You didn't have to do that-" she began telling him, knowing that would be a pain in the ass to organize later.

"But I really wanted to."

"Shit." Shit, indeed.

With that, she let him help her up on the desk, occupying the space the books once did, her legs hanging in the air.

Marc's hands traveled to her thighs, the feeling of it making her shiver. He parted her legs slowly, situating his own body between them.

Things stayed like that for a few moments: Marc's hands heavy on her thighs, her hands on his biceps, eye contact unbroken, hungry looks in their eyes.

Marc made then and there a silent promise to himself to try his best to stay awake. He wanted to be there to see her ruined in the morning.

He failed.

A/N: don’t hate me for how short and uneventful it is it’s the opening scene from a fic im abandoning lol I’ll do some actual smut for them another time

[nohoperadio]

Some of my coworkers (I work in a bookshop, I'm getting kinda tired of having to add that parenthetical to every work story I tell on here but it's often essential context, I wish there was a better way. Why can't you just fucking pay attention and remember where I work, that would be nice?) are very smug and proud of themselves about the fact that they make a habit of ratting out teenagers to their parents when they're trying to buy books (to be fair I could probably have just let the context do its own work in this particular post, I didn't really need to say anything. I'm sorry I spoke to you like that earlier) which are, according to the bookseller's no doubt eminently wise and edifying judgment, not age-appropriate--not outright refusing sales, but like when a teen and their parent are both at the till, saying something like "oh just so you're aware this book has some controversial stuff in it"--and I hope I continue to successfully hide how much this pisses me off because oh my fucking god.

Mostly this happens with Colleen Hoover books, who if you're unaware is a very tiktok-popular romance author whose books are sometimes accused of glorifying abusive relationship dynamics, I haven't read her and don't have a good sense of to what extent this is a fair accusation vs people misrepresenting the books to score backlash discourse points, neither possibility would surprise me, but also I don't think the answer to that question is very relevant to anything.

And look, I accept that my free speech absolutist radical position of "teenagers are less stupid than you probably think but even the stupid ones probably should be allowed some intellectual liberties maybe, they're going to be adults in like five minutes jesus christ" is not something everyone can embrace, I do. But the sheer glee with which this one guy the other day was telling the story of a mom getting quite angry with her daughter when he told her about what she's trying to buy, like "haha someone's gonna have an awkward conversation when they leave the shop!", is so so ugly to me... like it would be much easier to believe this was a principled moral stance if you weren't actively making fun of the people you're claiming to protect! And holy shit do you not remember this exact experience, of being a teenager and a bunch of adults who are clearly not actually smarter or better than you nonetheless having strong opinions about what kinds of things you ought to be enjoying and spending time on and thinking about? Do you not remember how much that sucked? (I'm like a decade older than most of these booksellers, I should be the cranky old person whose heart has been consumed by cheap cynical moralism, not them!!)

I could add a little bit here about how obviously it's only the books that are girl-coded that receive this higher level of scrutiny and shaming, but sadly it's getting dark and I had intended to make this a short post so I could go for a run after and I should really do that now if I'm gonna do it at all, you'll have to think about that part in your own time. Sorry for ranting everyone I hope we're all having a chill Saturday apart from me. Are we having a chill Saturday?

[gabessquishytum]

So we all agree that Hob is the World's Greatest Lover, 600 year reigning Pussy Eating Champion, etc etc. But think of the comedy potential if instead he was just...kind of mediocre at sex. After all these centuries he's still satisfied with a quick wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am, and he's not a particularly generous lover. A lot of the sex he's had over the years has been with prostitutes, so he doesn't feel very guilty about not making sure they finish, and his wives and long-term partners have mostly been a bit prudish/sheltered because of the time periods they lived in (some of them may not have even been aware that female orgasms were a thing). But none of them ever complained, so he assumed he was pretty good at sex.

And sure, he's had experiences with men (he's been a sailor at times, after all), but back in his day oral sex with any gender was kind of unhygienic and gross (cue the "ripe smegmatic sausage" meme) so the man's never given a blowjob in his unnaturally long life. Now, he *thinks* he knows all there is to know about sex because, to be fair, he has probably done it more times than any other human alive. But the reality is, his idea of "kinky" is any position other than missionary.

So he's surprised (and his ego is a bit bruised) when Dream seems disappointed but amused after their first time. He's worried Dream is going to dump him (and he's beating himself up, thinking he's so stupid for ever believing he could live up to Dream's standards), but Dream just smiles fondly at him and promises to teach him everything and train him to be a worthy lover for an Endless.

So after that, every night when Hob is in the Dreaming they work on his sexual education. Training montage: Dream makes him practice sucking his dick and eating his pussy until he really is the Pussy Eating Champion. Dream expects to come at least three times before Hob is even allowed to think about his own orgasm. Dream fucks his brains out and makes him a plug and a cock cage out of dreamstuff to wear in the waking, so he's always ready and can't cum unless it's on Dream's cock. Hob is, of course, a very eager and studious pupil, and he's more than happy to do anything Dream wants; he's realizing he's actually a lot kinkier than he thought. He loves being dommed by Dream, and Dream considers his education to be complete when Hob is able to successfully Dom *him* (which may or may not have been his goal from the beginning). The student has become the master, etc etc.

I love it here, you guys are so good to me <3 bad sex is so one of my kinks, especially coupled with a lil humiliation kink.

It's entirely fair to believe that Hob might have got a little bit too comfortable over the years. Recently his sexual experience has very much aligned with his modern image - middle class, a little boring, would probably rather just have a cup of tea. He's been sleeping with women mostly, and sadly he's been lulled into a false sense of security when they assure him that yes they did cum, honestly. Even in the decades before that a lot of what he did was drug fuelled and he can barely remember most of it.

Dream is a little disappointed, but on the whole he's amused and quite looking forward to giving Hob an education - after firmly telling him that his dick is nothing special and he really needs to work on his stamina (Hob is sitting there in stunned silence wondering how on earth this conversation is making him hard.)

Hob spends the next few months not being allowed to put his dick anywhere near Dream anyway. He's only allowed to pleasure Dream with his mouth, and only very occasionally allowed to cum. Dream is the strictest of teachers and resorts to corporal punishment when his student doesn't behave (spoiler alert, Hob also enjoys this more than he ought to).

Slowly Hob picks up the skills that he either lost or never had in the first place, and Dream becomes much more agreeable with him. After nearly half a year Hob is finally allowed to fuck Dream again, only this time he's wearing a cock ring and his purpose is only to bring his lover pleasure. Dream is so pleased with his progress that he even lets Hob cum inside him.

Before long Hob is coming home from work, grabbing Dream by the waist and hauling him over the sofa to tongue-fuck him until he screams. Which was more or less what Dream was hoping for during their first encounter. He's quite happy to sit on Hob’s (admittedly quite nice) dick these days, because he knows that Hob’s primary objective will forevermore be to make him cum.

Even if he does occasionally have to tie Dream up to do it. Oh yes, Dream needs to be educated too - about the perils of working too much and not letting off steam. Hob is only too happy to take on the role of teacher, this time.

[girlnextdoooor]

could you maybe write a riddler x reader where they meet and bond in prison? i think it would be a cute little partners in crime story :3

- 🖤

partners in crime || riddler x gn!reader

summary: A smile crosses your face at the sentiment. "I like think we'd make very good partners as well. We'll test run that theory once I have us on the outside."

warnings: friendly stuff, canon-typical violence, slow build (?)

a/n: i might end up doing a part two to this at some point honestly since this one was kind of short and i love this concept. enjoy :) <3

The cell buzzes again to let the rest of the ward know another person has been added to Arkham's "criminally insane". You, however, didn't think you were insane. Or necessarily a criminal at that.

A drawn out sigh escapes your lips. There is absolutely nothing to this cell in the slightest. Nothing to keep you from being bored, anyways. You take a seat on the edge of probably the world's hardest mattress, that's not really a mattress, and cradle your head in your hands.

Not even an hour ago you had been putting your plan into motion. The plan being to eliminate the upper executives of Wayne Enterprises, and anyone stupid enough to get in the way of that if need be. Taking a life is fair and just if the life is hurting the majority was your mental note. You had successfully taken out a number of people without so much as being sought after, partially thanks to the Riddler and the commotion he caused.

A series of loud booms sound across the city, startling you from your thoughts. You quickly jump up and peek through the small window, at least attempting to see what's going on. Suddenly, all the guards are running out of the gates of Arkham.

Spinning around, your eyes connect with the backs of the last remaining guards and the TV that's been left on to Gotham's news station. The Riddler had been planting bombs in a series of vans across the city, and then more at the dam.

A small smile creeps onto your face. "He really did it", you whisper to yourself. Laughter is heard from the cell directly next to you.

"I did, with some help from my... friends", an anonymous man responds. You chuckle a little bit, having heard through the grapevine that the Riddler was being held in Arkham. "Well, you did better than I was doing. Used a lot of your bigger stunts to keep my business in the dark. Worked pretty well, I'd say", you state, shrugging at no one in particular.

"How'd you know you're talking to the Riddler?", he inquires. You let out a slow, shaky breath. "I used to watch your streams here and there. Helped me time my own antics, that kind of thing".

Which was true. You watched his streams often, and would plan your missions in time with his; a one-sided, symbiotic relationship of removing the cancers of Gotham. Sometimes you hoped you'd run into him, just to be able to meet him on the outside. Maybe even work together and plan cohesively.

"I admire that". You can hear the smile in his voice, making your ears tinge the lightest shade of pink. Thank God nobody else can see me right now, you think. "We could've made great partners in our shared goal", he finishes.

A smile crosses your face at the sentiment. "I like to think we'd make very good partners as well. We'll test run that theory once I have us on the outside."

"I'd like that very much. Do you have a plan?" He asks. You shake your head no towards yourself. "Not yet, currently working on it. Although now would probably be a good time since everyone's distracted", you respond.

"I might have an idea", he giggles. This is going to be fun.

[eusuntgratie]

I only just saw your post (successfully avoided any and all spoilers for the iwtv finale so win for me!). Ugh sorry you’re not feeling the best.

What are some generally good sound pieces of advice that are applicable to nearly anyone? (If that’s distracting) AND/OR You seem like someone who enjoys exercise (especially? including?) lifting. Explain to me like a child how that came about? I would rather do pretty much anything than exercise. I do it because it’s good for me and I’m always happy after but the motivation isn’t motivating, if you will.

thanks aj!

i'm doing better today <3

hmm some generally good pieces of advice... if something is making you angry/upset and you have the ability to, walk away. don't get stuck in the spiral of things making you mad. that break will let you settle down and figure out what you need to do. if its something actionable (politics?) then you need a clear head to identify a small actionable step you can take. if its not something you need to take action on (fandom bullshit?) you can redirect to something that makes you happy (or unfollow/block/etc. to improve your experience).

another one that's big for me is to pay attention to the way you speak to and about yourself, and make it kinder. this isn't something you can fix overnight, but if your inner monologue and the things you say about yourself to others are always unkind, you get stuck in that kind of thinking. it also likely hurts the people that love you to hear you say those things about yourself. start small. when i catch myself saying/thinking everything is my fault or im a terrible parent or im so stupid or whatever it is, i try to take a breath and reframe that statement to something thats more fair. you can think about it like, what would i say to a friend that said that to me? if one of my friends says 'im a terrible parent' to me, i help them reframe by reminding them of all theyre doing right. maybe 'im a terrible parent' becomes 'i made a mistake but i love my kid and i will own up to my mistake, apologize, and make it better.' its hard to be in a place of action or actually making anything better when we're stuck in a place of guilt and self-hatred.

okay changing gears i FUCKING LOVE lifting. i didn't like working out/sports/etc when i was young. i started paying attention to how i move my body and what it could do for me when i started doing martial arts. thats where i learned how to stretch, warm up, do calisthenics, and some weights. i stayed active and tried various types of exercise in college and after, but i didn't learn to lift heavy until grad school. i got engaged in grad school, and a good friend who is a huge gym rat offered to get me in good shape for my wedding. me and him and my now-husband signed up for a tough mudder together as additional motivation and we got to work. this man put me through HELL but got me in the best shape of my life. he taught me to how to do big lifts RIGHT (benchpress, deadlifts, squats) how to use the big machines at the gym, had me doing sprints and working with kettlebells and just generally putting me through it. i fucking LOVED it. i suffered and i whined and cried but i felt amazing, loved what it did to my body and seeing what my body could do. i was fueled by everyone who told me that women couldnt/shouldn't lift heavy and everyone who looked surprised as fuck when they saw how much itty bitty me could lift by the end.

i didnt have access to a gym for awhile after we got married, but when we moved here we set up a home gym with a bench and a squat rack and i lift as much as i can. i don't do it as much as i'd like, but i'm trying to stick to a routine of working out about 4 times a week and walking as much as possible.

i lift heavy so i can hold my daughter who is nearly as big as me but still sometimes wants to be held or needs to be carried. so i can pick up my 100# dog if he gets hurt. so i can move furniture in my house. i love feeling strong and capable. and i love how i look when im lifting. plus, osteoporosis runs in my family and lifting is one of the best ways to protect your bones <3

i could ramble for days about working out i love it! thank you for the ask <3

[adleryoung]

A fox tod, dressed too warmly for the weather in a heavy coat, muffler, and gloves, came bumbling out of the woods. He spotted Zandar, picked up a stick, and gingerly poked her with it. I could barely suppress a giggle.

However, when Zandar awoke and yelled "WHO DARES?" in badly accented Elvish, my amusement evaporated. Was she going to kill this hapless oaf just for mildly annoying her? I was not about to put such villainy past her, so I drew my bow and got ready to intervene if necessary.

The fox squatted down and spoke to Zandar. She replied, and didn't seem to be in a murderous rage, so I discreetly pooked to a nearby bush where I could hear their conversation.

"Last night I had a particularly vivid dream," the fox was saying, "In which Hastur appeared and told me to find you here."

"Do you mean HESTER?" Zandar asked.

"It is possible I mis-heard the name," the fox admitted.

Who in the Netherhells was Hastur or Hester? This was curious and mildly alarming. Whoever it was would necessarily have access to some potent magicks to be able to speak to someone in a dream and pinpoint Zandar's exact location! What would such a person be up to?

"Was she a tall slender rabbit with light tan fur and black ear tips?" Zandar inquired with slight urgency. If she was describing Hester, this sounded like someone I should confront at some point!

"Oh no," the fox replied. "This was more goatlike, and definitely male. He was dark as ebony, and massive with broad shoulders … bulging, rippling muscles … a long, thick …" the fox trailed off and seemed to be in a daze for a few seconds. Then he abruptly cleared his throat. "Forgive me - I haven't introduced myself! I am Sir Conrad Dugal: Poet, author, folklorist, and historian."

"Charmed," Zandar acknowledged politely. I felt pretty sure she wasn't going to kill him now.

"Here," Sir Conrad said, unbuttoning his coat. "Take my ulster to cover your nakedness. We should not tarry here. These woods belong to the White Elf."

"Who?" Zandar asked innocently, as if she hadn't just spent almost a year in the presence of the august personage just mentioned.

"Legends tell of a radiant, white-furred elf lord," Sir Conrad explained. I grinned with pleasure to know that my plans for spreading my legend had worked so successfully.

"Beautiful, but dangerously mad," Sir Conrad continued, and my smile faded. "He lives alone, isolated from the rest of his kind. Some say he was banished here for some horrible crime. Supposedly his lair deep in the forest can be sought by the bold … or the foolish. I thought these were mere tales, but after this morning I am prepared to believe anything. Stupid rabbits thought they could settle here, and their faith would protect them, but the old spirits are still strong in this place."

Well, I couldn't say that Sir Conrad's information was inaccurate, but I had hoped the story would have presented me in a slightly more favorable light. He and Zandar began to walk away, and I followed at a distance so I could continue listening without being seen.

"The White Elf's moods are unpredictable," Sir Conrad continued. "Twere best not to draw his attention. Misfortune is said to follow those he meets."

"I've met him!" Zandar declared.

"I had hoped that might be the case. Tell me, what was he like?"

"As you said," Zandar sighed. "He's beautiful but insane. He thinks of no-one but himself."

Bah! That was hardly fair coming from someone with HER history!

"First I was kidnapped by a pair of villains," Zandar continued. "A dog and a spider."

"In the tales, there are often mortals who do his bidding," Sir Conrad added.

"They took me through the woods to a circle of stones. In the center was a doorway into the earth."

"The gateway to his domain is an ancient fairy fort called Albric Tor," Sir Conrad explained. How did he know that?

"The White Elf emerged and introduced himself as Lord Randall," Zandar said.

"HE DID??" Sir Conrad exclaimed in surprise. "That can't be right. Lord Randall was poisoned by his mortal lover."

How did this nosy lowfolk person know THAT??

"I saw his tomb in Faerie," Zandar admitted. "When I asked His Lordship about it, he said that was a different Randall."

"There is no instance in the lore of two elves sharing the same name," Sir Conrad muttered. "Each name is unique, and is regarded almost as a part of the elf's soul. Knowing the name gives one a degree of power over him. They also have a strict magical code of honor which obliges them to avoid falsehood. Not even a criminal like him would dare utter a lie. So, considering all this, it seems strange for him to have told you his name was Randall."

I breathed a sigh of relief to hear some of the inaccuracies in that little speech. Sir Conrad had just explained, more succinctly than I had ever heard, the basis of the silly name game which lowfolk invented and which we continue to play with them when it amuses us.

"Now that I think of it," Zandar mused, "he strongly IMPLIED that his name was Randall, but he never actually said so."

"Classic elfish tricks!" Sir Conrad laughed. "Being unable to lie does not mean he must always tell the truth! His name is one of our great local mysteries. Most folk call him Lordship or Squire."

"The rabbits called him Squire Young," Zandar recalled.

"You mean he was HERE, and the rabbits KNEW him?" Sir Conrad demanded incredulously.

"That happened later."

"I'm sorry, please continue your story."

"He took me to his realm," Zandar continued. "He used me … sexually."

UNFAIR! She was a fully consenting participant in that! She was just playing for Sir Conrad's sympathy!

"He tricked me into giving him the crown of his dead brother, King Estmere."

All the slander spewing from Zandar's mouth was making me see red! I didn't "trick" her into giving me the crown! I was completely straightforward about it!

"King Estmere is dead?" Sir Conrad yelped in surprise. "Did he actually say he was the King's brother?"

"He definitely said that," Zandar confirmed.

"Great Auk!" Sir Conrad cackled excitedly. "If that's the case, then I know the White Elf's name!"

I couldn't allow him to divulge that information! I pooked quickly up into a nearby tree, apported a lute, and began to sing some enchanting Elfsong to distract the lowfolk. It worked like a charm (because it IS a charm, obviously) and Sir Conrad was completely captivated. However, I failed to take into account Zandar's remarkable throwing arm.

Zandar picked up a rock, and with unerring aim (not to mention blatant disregard for the fine arts and quality craftsmanship) she threw it, smashing my lute! Were there no depths to which she would not sink?!

[scenetocause]

Idk about you but I would sure like Norris / Fewtrell / Kodric to be given the emptyhalf words.

ok i guess

"You're unbelievable," Lando's laughing but he's like - it's the thing he does when he's actually kind of serious but he's playing it down, not his real laugh and it unnerves Max a lot.

"What do you mean?" He honestly doesn't know what he's done. Something, clearly; it's not bad enough that Lando isn't curled right up against him in Max's bed, Max's fingers threading through his hair and Lando's stupid palm tree necklace digging into Max's breastbone.

"You were flirting with Martin so much, oh my god."

Oh.

Well, guilty as charged.

"If my boyfriend didn't leave me at home all the time then maybe I wouldn't have to look at hot, uhm. Hunks." He's got past the word 'boyfriend' in his list of mental blocks but it's very hard for Max to sort of think of himself as gay beyond Lando. He's not really sure he is but then, Martin is pretty hot and so tall, too. Like Jake, who's also pretty hot and ok maybe he just... has some sort of very specific type. He should try checking out Marcus next time they're in the gym to see if it's all drivers or just specifically the idiot ones.

Lando pouts, curling more round Max. "If you'd actually ask instead of, like - you know I always want you there. Anyway, I guess Martin's kinda hot."

Oh. Oh, Lando isn't complaining, he's fantasising.

Except Max's self-esteem isn't as secure as Lando's, clearly and so what he says is. "Hotter than me?" And his voice sounds pathetically small.

"No." It's not possible to actually hear someone rolling their eyes but Max thinks he can. "You're - and mine. But y'know, for someone else he kind of is."

Lando presses an unusually tender kiss under Max's ear. "You're still my big boy."

"Jesus-" Max ineffectively swats at Lando, who's already successfully limpeted onto him and just holds Max tighter, peppering him with kisses. "Fuck off. God."

Max mumbles "I love you, Bob" into the bumps of Lando's spine when they've rearranged to big and little spoon, a few minutes later.

-

Nothing happens because why would anything happen. Martin's straight and if Max and Lando sometimes work it into their dirty talk, the idea of one of them getting fucked by Martin while the other one's watching then, well. Look. They've said that about, like - Lando has a weird crush on Niall from One Direction and sometimes it comes up, it's just a fantasy, it's fine.

Until Tom opens his stupid mouth and Max is gonna edit him for Insta again, he swears to god.

"Who'd you have in a threesome, if you could have anyone?"

"Martin," Lando says, without even looking up from his phone while he's posting some jpgs.

It's at the same time as Connor says "Dua Lipa" and Jenny hits him with a cushion but someone definitely heard because several people follow it up with what?

Lando glances round the table, unfazed. "It's be Martin, we've talked about it."

Max can feel himself turning blotchy crimson. "Mate, you can't just say things like-"

"Really?" It's only fair that Martin, himself, asks.

"Yeah," Lando is totally unbothered, tucking himself back against Max's shoulder and taking a sip of his drink, the only tell that he knows what he's doing the way he's suddenly glowing with that weird, malicious energy he gives off sometimes. "It'd be hot. Y'know, you could fuck Max or-"

Collective shouting around the table manages to preserve Max's honour and stop him having to find a way to murder the man he loves the most of anyone in the world. And that's kind of the end of it because they get into fuck, marry, kill with the characters from Friends but none of them can remember what half of them are called and shots dissolve the rest of the conversation.

Until Max is wobbling to the bathroom, a little while later and wondering where Lando's gone. He probably might have noticed Martin was gone, too, except that he's been studiously trying not to make any kind of eye contact with the bloke for several hours, so it's easier not to think.

Except that Martin is suddenly right up in his space and Max nearly trips over his own feet. "Uh - hello, what Lando said, like, just, ignore him it's-"

He's shocked by Martin shushing him. Realises Martin's shirt is unbuttoned all the way down, tries not to fixate on the trail of hair down from his belly button but looking up from that means he's staring into Martin's eyes.

"I didn't mind," Martin's accent makes it soft, voice deliberately gentle. "It's kind of cute."

Max doesn't have time to squirm, before Martin's hand is on his jaw and his sweaty palms are on Martin's chest to steady himself and the main thing he registers, when Martin kisses him, is Lando's shrieky laugh of glee much too close by.

"I knew it," there's the sound of a shutter closing, a photo that better not make it to the internet. "It is really hot."

[beautouslysandy]

idk if you still do matchups but here is mine, it’s for outer banks, and it’s anonymous bc I am a 🐱. :

I’m on the shorter side for girls, like 5’3ish, but everyone else in my family is TALL ASF so im a fast walker. I have light brown straight hair and curtain bangs (that take far too long to style), hazel eyes, fair skin, and my cheeks are always flushed so it always looks like im blushing when im not (most times).

My friends tell me im very funny and outgoing but deep down I am very sensitive and emotional- I’ve just found ways to hide it. I’m an extremely loyal friend, and I’ll defend a friend even if I don’t agree with what my friend said or did. I’m very shy and quiet when I meet people at first, but once I’m comfortable it’s hard to get me to shut up.

Im always listening to music, and i swear one of my super powers is knowing the lyrics to every song. I stay up late making playlists and reading books. I randomly get outbursts of energy where I can run 5 miles no problem and feel like running in circles around a room, but I’m also constantly tired and always sleeping.

I laugh really hard at stupid things, like videos with animals or the impractical jokers show.

I don’t think I’m clumsy, but apparently I am because I always have something wrong with me. Like if I don’t have a third degree burn on my arm than I have a broken finger and if not that than I’m limping. Like I always am going to the doctor to either get a cast or medicine for an injury.

I’m very good at talking my way into and out of things, but I don’t do it often bc I get anxious.

Also random fun fact: EVERYBODY is convinced I smoke 🍃 when I don’t. Im told its because I’m very calm and can hide my nervousness well- I think its because I could get hit by a car and still be calm and collected, I’m just very zen at all hours and I don’t know how.

This is probably tmi but it’s kind of fun to debrief!!

honestly i think we would be good friends if we knew each other in real life! just a little fun fact about me, i am told I have a very loud personality meaning i am extremely outgoing and stuff haha.

it is fun to debrief! glad you enjoyed it!

hope you like your match up!

OUTERBANKS:

john b, one hundred percent. i think he likes having some calmness in his life, he has got quite the chaotic life. and he loves loves having a short girlfriend, he definitely will tease you about it every now and then but you he is just joking. anybody else though, they won't see the day of light ever again. i think he would find your sparks of energy very amusing. he always gets super worried when you get hurt, he warns you that you should be more careful. he has successfully caught you a few times preventing you from getting hurt, a few times. he probably loves that you are so calm, like said before. it’s nice to have something calm and dependable in his life. i think he loves making you laugh so he will say really idiotic stuff just to hear that laugh he loves so much, it makes his day to see you happy knowing that he is the reason you are. you guys probably watch those try not laugh animal version videos on youtube and just sit there cackling like a pair of little kids. he likes to help you sometimes with your hair and at some point he has mastered it but that is in the fair future (sorry john b). i think his favorite thing about you are your personality, it’s super important to him that his significant other has a good personality that he loves and you provide that. he respects your loyalty as he is as well, i think he is comforted with the fact knowing you are super loyal to him. when you first meet the group they are confused on why john b and you are together as he doesn’t really go for shy girls but once you break out of your shell and the true you shows, they understand. he loves to play with your hair, he loves it when you get flushed to the face because he thinks it’s adorable.

little drabble/skit

“hey, sweetheart, oh are you doing your hair?” john b said peering into your room.

“yeah.” you said looking at him though your mirror

“want some help? i am a professional.” he said with a chuckle as headed over to you to give you a kiss on the cheek

“yes please, i need some professional help.” you said laughing

“okay, then. prepare to be wowed.” he says as he starts to style your hair, five minutes in and he has already burned his finger two times

“ahh, shit!” he exclaims

“burn your finger, again? want me to do it?” you ask with a sympathetic smile, you grab his hand and kiss his finger

“thanks, babe. i wanna do this for you, you do a lot for me…it’s the least i can do.” he says with a smile

“okay. just let me know if you want me to take over.”

he nodded and then went back at it

ten minutes later

“ahh, shit!”

[tsstories]

The Bar Night

!!TRIGGER WARNING!! This includes themes of: drinking/alchocol, implied sexual assult, physical assult, implied attempted rape, drugging someone’s drink, non-consent. All clothes stay on, but this short blip of writing has some dark concepts in it. Please scroll past if you think this will upset you!

Sofie POV

Ugh, I can’t believe he would do that! Today of all days?!

Me too subconscious, me too.

I was blowing off steam by walking away, like I normally did. I can’t help it--if I stayed there, something would get broken; either the wall, or his body.

Not like that would have been a bad thing.

True.

Now, let’s go enjoy my third favorite pastime: drinking

The other two will go unnamed for now.

I’m downing my third… fourth… fifth… sixth… sixth… tenth…

“You know, people usually throw up after three scotches. You have a talent for that.”

Who’s this guy?

I turn to the side and get a look at the stranger.

He’s cuuuuute

Is that the alcohol or my subconscious talking?

...Yes?

Fair enough. I smirk.

“Aw, sad that a girl can beat you at drinking?”

He chuckles, “Oh, no. I respect that actually. You’re a strong woman if you can down twenty shots of scotch and still form coherent sentences.”

How many have we had?!

I don’t know—he says twenty. Is that too much?

YES!

Oh, woops.

“Oh? And how many have you had?”

He smiles but it’s different. I can’t place the way his expression is...it’s familiar…

“Oh, I don’t drink. I prefer to be in control of myself.”

Wait, how long has his hand been on my thigh? When did he get so close? What is happeni—

My mind completely blanks as he starts to kiss me. I'm so disoriented, are we moving? He stops kissing me, but I can’t get out of his grip as he turns and closes the door.

Oh my god we’re drunk in a back room with a sober one-night-stand predator.

Oh god. What am I in for now?

He turns back and my mind is getting the hang of drunkenness because I can finally place the look he has had for a while now: Predatory. He’s looking at my body, not me.

Shit.

“Well, that was a good kiss, but I should be getting ho—“

“Oh, you’re leaving so soon? We were just getting to the fun part”~

Oh. Shit. This is NOT happening.

Somehow I successfully clock him with my free hand. The second he goes to yell at me, I’m (drunkenly) kicking him right in his crotch.

Try to bully a girl for that now.

He second he lets go I stumble to the door, and into the bar. I’m sure I look crazy, but it’s a bar and no one questions it. Except for one person. He looks at me, where I was coming from, and starts over to me.

“Where are you going, doll?”

Fuck.

I step away, but he grabs my wrist in an iron grip.

“Oh no, we weren’t done yet.”

Shitshitshitshitshi—

“JESSICA! Oh my gosh, I’ve been looking EVERYWHERE for you!”

We both turn to see the guy I saw walking up to us and hug me. Before I know it he’s let go again, but he whispered to me a little hint incase I was too drunk/stupid:

“Play along, I’ll get you out of this.”

He leans back, but makes sure to keep his hands on my shoulders. I play innocent.

“I know—that’s how engagement works: you always find me”

I flirt at him, and both men are taken aback.

Boom. Thank you theatre class, now I can even act while drunk.

My ‘savior’ seems to regain his senses.

“Well, I’ve found you, and we need to get to your sister’s house for dinner.”

The idiot holding my wrist still hasn’t let go, an I turn to him and say, “Could you let go? I kind of need to leave.”

He immediately releases me and I all but jump onto my rescuer and we haul ass outta there as smoothly as possible.

Once we’re a block away, I stop and turn to him.

“Okay—who are you, how did you know I needed help and are you going to try the same thing as him because I’ll defend myself again even if you did help me o—“

He clamps a hand over my mouth. his smile showing he finds my drunken rambling not intimidating but funny.

Oh my god, what is it with us and guys tonight?!

I have no idea, tell me when you figure it out.

He takes his hand away once he’s satisfied I’ve stopped talking and says almost clinically:

“He’s a jerk who loves to look for drunks to have fun with. Every other weekend, he’ll come in and sit in the back watching everyone drink until he finds someone who is drinking to forget something, and he’ll pop on over, maybe he’ll put something extra if he doesn’t think they’ll get through enough for him to be satisfied that they’ll be pliable, and then he’ll, well, you can guess.”

I squint at him suspiciously.

“You seem to know a lot about what his plans are.”

He looks off to the side and...is he blushing?

Oh my god you don’t think he’s—

I’m going to stop you there subconscious and not ask any assuming questions anymore.

“...He doesn’t just target girls...”

Oh...OH. ...shit.

“Oh...Did he...did you...?”

I let the question hang in the air for him to take. I feel like I’ve gone too far until he quietly replies:

“...almost.”

We’re gonna get that guy once we’re sober.

Agreed.

~To be Continued (maybe)~

[cafetxt]

≡☆ the jealous type

pairing: bf!hueningkai x fem!reader

genre/cw: jealousy baby jealousy, a sprinkle of fluff + a dash of suggestive-ness

wc: 0.8k

a/n: help me i feel like i'm the worst at writing dialogue... but anyways here's a little fic that suddenly popped into my head out of nowhere, idk how i feel about the ending though >:D

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"i'm not upset." you insisted, as kai kept on assuming you were. well, he was kind of right. you were kind of upset.

you were mostly jealous though.

you both were walking back to your apartment complex after getting some boba from down the street. you had initially told kai to go to the shop first instead of coming upstairs because you wanted to take a walk with him afterwards and now, you regret telling him to go. or maybe you were just being a jealous girlfriend.

but to be fair, the worker was flirting with kai right in front of you, and you were sure she was doing it since the moment he walked in. she even had the audacity to put a little heart next to his name. while you were watching the entire exchange, all you could do was look between her and kai and laugh under your breath because no way.

you knew your boyfriend was good looking, so of course people would try to flirt with him, but this was the first time someone continued to do it even when you arrived and kai put his hand on your waist.

kai of course, found the situation funny which just made you even more annoyed. you walked ahead of him into the lobby of your apartment, making a beeline for the elevators.

"y/n," kai started, catching up to you with the boba in his hand. when he sees the pout on your face he can't help but laugh. "i've never seen you that upset before."

"i told you i'm not upset!" you fire back, your voice rising and kai raises an eyebrow. you shake your head and turn away from him, heading into the elevator silently. the ride to your floor is silent, but you can feel kai looking at you and assessing the situation. once the doors open at your floor you basically stomp to your door, a little embarrassed at your little outbreak.

"wait... is it because of that worker?" kai asks as he steps through your front door behind you, locking it.

you turn to face him. "she was literally doing the most kai. in front of me? and drawing that stupid heart on your drink? hello??" you scoff, crossing your hands over your chest.

"no way..." kai starts, placing the boba on the ground. "you're actually jealous."

"and you think this is funny." you start to turn away from him but he grabs your wrist to stop you. as soon as you face him again he grabs your face in his hands to make you look in his eyes.

"y/n, hey. it's not that i think it's funny. it's just that I've never seen you like this before, and to be honest i didn't really know how to act in that situation." he tilts his head closer to you, your noses almost touching. "but i want you to know that i only have eyes for you, no one else matters to me. and if stuff like that ever bothers you again i want you to tell me, ok?"

you sigh. "ok, but it's not your fault. i may have overreacted.... so i'm sorry about that." you try to avoid eye-contact so he lets go of your face and pushes your shoulders slightly until you feel your back come into contact with the wall. he places his hands on either side of your head, successfully trapping you between him and the wall.

"i had no idea you were the jealous type." he smirks when you look up at him with wide eyes. "it's kinda hot."

you immediately blush at his words and try to cover your face. "no, it's actually really embarrassing... i didn't think i was either."

he laughs softly before you feel him lean his head into your neck, gasping when he presses his lips against your jaw. “don’t be,” he mumbles against your skin. “i love you all the same.”

he uses one hand to lift your chin to look into your eyes before he kisses you slowly. your lips move against his eagerly as your arms wrap around his neck. his hands fall to your waist, hold tightening as he presses himself closer to you, sandwiching you between him and the wall.

the kiss grows more desperate as your tongues slide over each other messily, and you pull on the ends of his hair. you both pull away breathless as kai rests his forehead against yours, his hold on you unwavering.

"what can i do," he starts, still trying to catch his breath. "what can i do to to show you that you are the only one for me?"

you pull back to look at him, your thoughts running wild. "i can think of a few things..."

he takes the hint immediately and detaches from you a little to position his hands lower on your waist and you know to jump and he catches you as you wrap your legs around his waist.

"as you wish my love." he says into your ear and you giggle as he carries you to your room, leaving the boba you had bought abandoned on the floor.

[phoenixyfriend]

When Obi-Wan gets to AotC, there's also about two dozen Anakin clones on-site. They're all girls because... IDK Anakin is trans. They have a hive mind and are developmentally a few years younger than Anakin himself.

It's incredibly unsettling to Obi-Wan.

It's almost definitely a "fuck with Anakin's already fragile mental health" ploy by Palpatine, along with a "what if Jedi Black Widows, for me, a Sith Lord. Wouldn't that be neat? That would be neat."

Anakin is torn between "this freaks me out" and "GANG OF BABY SISTERS LET'S GOOOOOOO."

(I just finished reading Like Real People Do by glimmerglanger, so this is definitely inspired by that and the obligatory 'lay back in bed and daydream variations on plot points of that fic you just really enjoyed,' and also a little by Same Heart, Same Blood by loosingletters.)

They're physically like 14-16 on average, and Anakin's vibrating out of his skin with a million conflicting emotions, but when he tells Padme she's just like "oh, you have a handmaiden gang!"

I told this to @willowcrowned and she suggested:

Once Anakin decides to repress the part of him that’s weirded out and just regard them as baby sisters he gets. A little strange about it The first time one of them dies he may or may not slaughter every person he can [in response to Padme's comment] Anakin starts worrying that he needs to get them cool matching outfits

I also chatted about it with @firebirdeternal and they said:

Gang of Unsettling Smol Siblings is exactly the Karma that Anakin deserves

Do you think the Clones have a kind of Collective Name that they use at first that eventually just kind of morphs into a new last name? Skysisters or something? Like Palpatine was trying to be clever and name them like the Nightsisters.

I initially went with "functionally one person" hive-mind but I'm torn.

I think maybe they're BASICALLY one person on Kamino but drift into Separate Consciousness once they're far enough apart physically that their minds don't blend from proximity anymore.

Then they start Dating (like half of them are dating Fett clones because they grew up with these dudes, it's like childhood friends romance), and Anakin loses his mind about Protecting Them and They're Too Young.

Padme: You're nineteen and we just got married, they can date. Anakin: THEY'RE EIGHT. Padme: And the Fett clones are ten and dying for us in the field. Get them rights before you panic about their love lives.

Firebird:

it could be worse, one of them could imprint on Obi-Wan. "Anakin I promise I won't yell at you for the next five stupid things you do if you can figure out a way to stop this baby from having a crush on me" (I like the idea of Obi-wan bargaining not with "I won't be mad at you ever" because they Both Know That's Not True, and instead haggling with specific allowances. Like he's handing out Stupidity Coupons)

Please imagine Mace and Obi-Wan's personal responses to the idea of suddenly having to deal with not one, not two, but OVER TWENTY SKYWALKERS.

Plo is delighted to take one off their hands.

So is Yoda.

Willow:

Mace is like. okay suicide isn’t the Jedi way but on the other hand. i physically cannot deal with this Yoda: a skywalker, you say? one who is tall enough to reach the top shelf, you say? such a skywalker, bring me

Anakin would be given at least one because fuck you, suffer with us, but he's still a padawan so Ugh, fine, no.

I want to say one stays on Coruscant to hang out with the Guard, and ends up half-adopted by Padme. She keeps dressing up the Aniclone left with her in handmaiden outfits and sending selfies to Anakin.

"Hanging out with the little SiL!"

Anakin has so many issues about WHEN his genetic material was acquired.

And there's some confusion from the Fett clones about how much of a hive mind is normal for Jedi. They are confused that the answer is basically none, and "this is WHY nobody clones a Jedi"

ONE OF THEM STEALS BOBA FROM THE ARENA ON GEONOSIS.

Firebird:

"I have followed in our progenitor's footsteps and acquired a sibling." holds up a struggling Boba "He bites."

Willow:

Ooooo okay so if they have a sort of hive mind then they probably don’t have names other than their designations on Kamino right BUT When they SEPARATE The one that picks Boba up on Geonosis gets a name specifically for that. Okay what if the one Padmé picks up gets some variant on ‘pretty’ because she’s always being dressed up BELLE Maybe Yoda’s Ani has a name that means thief? Because obviously Yoda is using Anakin to steal sweets

So, to make the timeline work...

I don't think anyone would give Anakin one of his sisters until after he's knighted at least.

So obviously when they're doing initial placements none of the sisters go to him or Obi-Wan.

Once he's knighted, of course they're already all placed with someone, and Anakin instead gets Ahsoka. He loves Ahsoka. She is also a little sister. He said so.

At some point afterwards, one of the sisters is left without a place because the Master that was in charge of her died in the field battle.

That sister then gets placed with Obi-Wan, because he's already mostly-successfully raised one Skywalker, so he can do it again.

Anakin gets to hang out with her basically all the time.

Ahsoka is very very jealous of this girl stealing Anakin's attention.

Anakin is oblivious to the rivalry.

He asks Barriss to look after them while he's discussing Adult War Things with Luminara and Obi-Wan, and Barriss gets an eye into This Mess, which is quickly colored by Ahsoka growing a puppy crush on the lovely Miss Offee herself.

Firebird:

Ahsoka: Ah yes, my nemesis. Anisister: Ah yes, my new older sister whom I want to impress so bad.

"I will impress her by being Stoic and Competent" "Oh my god she must think she's so much better than me what a bitch"

Anakin is oblivious to most things to be fair Anakin: Laser focused precision fighting machine who can read the tiniest body movements and predict your moves seconds in advance, who also cannot understand even the most basic social nuance. I was originally writing this as to Dunk on Anakin but then I made myself sad, because none of those things are really his fault.

So you know that post about like, Sasuke and Brooding, specifically in the context of "Brooding" as it's used to refer to Nesting Chickens? Grouchy and protective and sitting on a tennis ball trying to hatch it because they're just. "These are my Babies." Anakin Broods. Baby sisters. Must protecc. "I'm actually fine and extremely deadly in combat." "MUST PROTECT."

Bad Guy: [catches Ahsoka in a Trap] Aniclone: Must rescue sister! Aniclone: [fights, is not winning fight, gets ouched] Ahsoka tearing her way out of Trap: I lived bitch. Also: stay the fuck away from her. [murders so hard]

Ahsoka catches the Protective Older Sib feels by the traditional method: "Hey, only I'm allowed to be mean to them."

Willow:

Oh Anakin has no clue what’s going on. He walks in on Ahsoka glaring at the Ani and is like!!! Little sisters!!! Bonding!!! When Ahsoka was about three seconds away from tossing her out of the airlock. Ahsoka mistakenly assumes that Barriss has a crush on the Ani, and gets even MORE jealous.

Obi-Wan is like oh god. I can’t take care of an Anakin going through puberty again. He’s great with periods and other stuff because he read about a billion books. He is TERRIBLE with everything else, as he was the first time.

Barriss is like???? YOU'RE BOTH CHILDREN, PLEASE CALM DOWN, I HAVE ZERO INTEREST IN DATING ANYONE, LET ALONE SOMEONE YOUR AGE.

IDK how old Obi-Wan's Aniclone is, probably physically the same age as Ahsoka?

Per @atagotiak on discord:

Also something something, similarities btw Anakin and Obi-Wan where like. "Am I a parent? That seems uncomfortable, I'm too young to be a dad to a kid this age, I mean I'm cool with being a mentor/caretaker but..."

Obi-Wan can't even sidestep parenthood this time.

"Is Anakin basically your dad?" "Uhhhhhh" [Muffled discussion] "So Obi-Wan is your dad." "Okay!" "WAIT NO I DIDN'T AGREE TO THIS"

Ahsoka: She's stealing my brother, that BITCH. Obi-Wan's Aniclone: new sister new sister new sister gotta make a good impression

Firebird:

I feel like the Sister Squad would make very effective interstellar espionage agents Even like, kind of by accident. They just get encouraged to branch out in their interests and figure out what they want to do with their lives and end up all over the dang place, and since they're all pretty dang competent they tend to gravitate towards Important Positions wherever they end up. Except for one sister who just retires to raise Space Sheep.

I like that in this AU Palpatine is just like "I will create an army of Loyal Murderers who will obey my every whim and also be a big psychological lever on my Other Pet Murderer," and then they all just Baby Duckling imprint on the first Jedi to be nice to them instead and he has to just be like "Wait no not like that."

AND one of them Steals Boba

I want Obi-Wan's Aniclone to start dating Fives. All the sisters judge her for it, because he's a Goof. A very competent, ARC Trooper goof! But a goof.

Not as goofy as Anakin, though.

Firebird:

Who expects a clone of Anakin Skywalker to not make questionable lifelong romantic choices impulsively?

[aminiatureworld]

Enigmatic Feelings

Characters: Albedo, Diluc, Xiao, Zhongli, gn!reader

Word Count: 5,544

Warnings: None

Premise: Love is a potent force. And sometimes little things take on larger meanings, especially when one party is unaware of them.

In which the reader’s s/o is jealous

Author’s Note: This trope is 100% my guilty pleasure. I hope I did it justice.

I also realized while writing this that all these characters have the emotional understanding of a teaspoon, but they’re trying their best, so that’s what counts.

Albedo

Albedo was many things. A great alchemist, a man of secrets, a weapon with which one might someday bring destruction. He was even a lover, albeit an unpracticed one. But what he was not was emotional. Or so he thought.

Of course Albedo knew what jealousy was, knew the sort of stupidity that people could fall into when altogether too infatuated with their own love. But just because one knows what jealousy is does not mean one must fall prey to such things. Or so Albedo assumed.

It was the fourth day in a row that a knight had approached your door. Friedrich was his name, and he was doing a stellar job at capturing your attention, and pulling on emotions that Albedo had long told himself he didn’t contain.

Today the flower was a Windwheel Aster, swaying this way and that in the pocket of space between your two hands. You were smiling at it, or rather at Friedrich, brightly, fingers mere moments away from Friedrich as you went to claim the fourth flower this week. Though the was nothing necessarily untoward in Friedrich’s movements, and Albedo would much rather a person of integrity be attempting to woo you, even if the idea itself turned knots in his stomach; nevertheless it still left a bad taste in the alchemist’s mouth, and a worry in his heart that he was not so immune to jealousy as he’d previous assumed.

“Thank you!” You spoke to Friedrich, giving one last wave before walking back over to Albedo. “Albedo look! It’s a Windwheel Aster. It’s very nice of Friedrich to give me one, maybe I can use it, or maybe it’ll be helpful for your experiments?”

“Yes, thank you. I, I think you should keep it.”

As much as Albedo wanted to take the flower and throw it in the incinerator, he couldn’t bring himself to shatter the smile on your face. No matter how dearly it cost him to see you smile down once more at the delicate red petals. And no matter how much it haunted him the rest of the day to imagine you, face framed by a smile, a bouquet of a random knight’s making in your hands.

That knight as Albedo put away the Bunsen burners and the graduated cylinders he kept his mind preoccupied by thoughts of you. Surely he had to tell you his feelings, for if not they would keep building in his chest; building and building until one day he erupted, with you in the line of fire rather than the knight who was creating this whole dilemma, perhaps even unwittingly. Though Albedo had never been in a relationship before he knew stories. Weren’t books full of those kinds of moments? Men, women, people, all of them running over one another in their misunderstanding, in their overwhelming guilt.

No, he wouldn’t turn out like that, wouldn’t let the two of you be hurt in such a way. He had to tell you. Had to make you understand how much his chest constricted when he saw you carrying the gifts of others, had to let it be known before he lost control of these emotions. After all, wasn’t that what happened with emotions? They grow and grow and one day they spill over. And Albedo never wanted these emotions to spill over. No matter the cost.

“May I tell you something?”

The sunlight was streaming through the laboratory windows, the air warm enough that Sucrose had tied up her hair during her shift. And yet Albedo felt cold, oh so cold. He was going to tell you today. He hadn’t been able to tell you three days ago, nor two days ago, nor yesterday. And now the bouquet of flowers that occupied a tiny glass on the windowsill felt quite large indeed. Today would be day eight if Friedrich showed up at lunchtime, and before that Albedo would tell you.

“Of course you can Albedo, I’m all ears!”

You turned around, a soft smile once more spreading across your face. Putting down the pencil you’d been holding you leaned back against the lab table. Albedo took in a deep breath. He could do this. He would do this. He had to do this. No matter what, today. Today, he would do this.

“I-I’m jealous.” The words hung in the air for a moment, as if not understood.

“Jealous?” You tilted your head slightly, worry making your smile slip. “Albedo, jealous of what?”

“Of Friedrich, of you and Friedrich, or rather, I mean, of Friedrich giving you flowers.” Albedo paused, words tangling in his mouth, tripping on each other in an attempt to be understood. What if this was a mistake.

“Albedo,” you shook you head softly, walking over to cup your partner’s face, “I promise that there’s nothing in it. The flowers are lovely, of course, but nothing in this world could replace or stem my love for you. You have nothing to worry about.”

“I know,” Albedo replied hurriedly, worried still that he might be misunderstood, “I’m not trying to accuse you of anything, or say that I doubt you. My love, I will never doubt you. I just, I just feel so uncomfortable when he brings you flowers. It feels like, like I don’t know; it feels like I’m being poisoned, suddenly and all at once. And I don’t want it to affect the way I act towards you. So, so I wanted to tell you. You don’t have to stop, if those flowers make you happy then that’s what matters. But, but I just wanted to tell you.”

You said nothing, staring into Albedo’s eyes, gaze piercing through the alchemist. It was always that way with you. How you managed to destroy the control he thought he had, the wall he’d erected between himself and humanity. How you made him feel unsure and fallible and whole. And, just as before, now your gaze softened and you shook your head, your smile a balm for the raw unfamiliarity of putting together emotions.

“It’s okay Albedo, I’m glad you told me. Just like my emotions matter to you, I’d rather not see you unhappy. To be honest, I just never saw Friedrich’s actions in the way that he probably meant them. We all struggle with our feelings sometimes, I do just like you. Just as long as well tell each other, all will be well. Alright?”

“Yes. Thank you. I don’t know what I do without you.”

“Well you’ll never have to find out, so it doesn’t matter!”

There was no eighth flower that day, at least not one that was successfully given. Albedo supposed that he could pity Friedrich, but in reality he felt nothing but relief. The emotions that had left such a bad taste in his mouth seemed so far away now, for there was you, only you. It would only ever be you for him, and the days in which you said the same thing of him Albedo felt as if he could truly be happy, and truly acknowledge the emotions that swirled inside him, the love for you so great it spilled over into a vast ocean.

 Diluc

Diluc found most merchants loathsome, something perhaps not entirely fair considering his own status as a mover of goods.

Still, merchants in general were an unlikeable bunch. Prone to complacency and greed, this elite circle was comprised of people who thought of little than of ways to line their pockets anew. It disgusted Diluc and as he stood there, watching as a man who had enough jewelry on his body to weigh down a pack mule and a smile that made one want to run in the other direction, throw compliments and boasts your way, the winery owner was reminded about all that was wrong with the world in which he worked.

“So your goal is to attempt to find a route through which we might trade our wine in Inazuma?” You repeated the words the man had just spoken, expression skeptical. “As much as it would mean good business to begin another trade route, I believe the border restrictions will cause no little difficulty.”

“Restrictions such as those are nothing for a man like me.” The merchant smile once more and Diluc felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand straight up. “I have the ability to wave past such an issue. Indeed with the right price I believe I could expand your network to include all of the seven major lands, if you haven’t been trading internationally.”

“Thank you for your offer.” You replied, too focused on the work in front of you to notice the merchant’s roving sort of gaze. “I’ll see what Master Diluc has to say. However I warn you, as much as international exports are important for a growing trade, smuggling wine into locked countries will do little good. Especially considering what the damage could do to this winery’s reputation if such a thing was found out.”

“Don’t worry, I assure you my methods are completely secure. In fact, if you’d like to discuss it in more depth, I do believe that I may be able to enlighten you over a meal.”

“Perhaps, although Master Diluc would certainly have to be there.” You smiled slightly, and Diluc wondered for a moment if you were being purposefully oblivious or simply didn’t notice the meaning behind the merchant’s words.

“I will be back tomorrow, perhaps you’ll have an answer then?”

“I’m sure I will.” You replied, smiling as the two of you shook hands. As the merchant walked out of the winery your smile morphed into a sort of smirk and you looked up towards the balcony of the second floor.

“You can come out now Diluc, I know you’re there.”

Diluc couldn’t help but smile at those words, he truly couldn’t get anything past you. Hurrying down the stairs he swept you up in his arms, sighing slightly into your neck as you tightened the embrace.

“Ever so observant, my darling.”

“I know that you’d never let a transaction or a business conversation take place without your knowledge.” There was a playfulness to your voice, coming from the knowledge that you were utterly correct. “Still, you could’ve come downstairs you know. I don’t think that anyone would need to believe that you were going through your ‘very important paperwork, and lurking around is your night job.’”

“It seemed somehow wrong to suddenly appear in front of you two and derail the conversation.” Diluc drew away and placed a soft kiss on the tip of your nose, chuckling when you immediately wrinkled it. “Especially since you were doing so well on your own.”

“Oh he’s just like the rest of them,” you sighed, “altogether a bit too full of themselves.”

“Especially in this one’s case.” Diluc said, finally letting a scowl cross his face.

“What do you mean?”

The look on your face was one of innocence and confusion, and for a moment Diluc felt his thoughts stammer, as he realized that you truly were unaware of the way that the merchant was looking at you, unaware of the manner which caused Diluc even now to continue to press his hand gently against your lower back. If you didn’t notice it, then surely Diluc was overreacting, surely there was no reason for his heart to stutter and his stomach to drop. Surely there was no reason, and surely he shouldn’t tell you.

“Nothing at all, I just didn’t like his face.” He hurried now to reply, realizing how odd his pause must’ve seemed. “Will you be accepting his proposal for a business dinner?”

“I’m not sure. I suppose it couldn’t hurt. And then it might be a good venue for the two of you to talk. Since you find him especially ghastly, I think a more public meeting might be easier.”

“Perhaps, but I don’t think that invitation was meant for me.” Diluc replied, before realizing his gaffe and falling silent.

“What? What do you mean of course it’s meant for you. I mean you are the owner of the Winery. Who else would it be for?”

“For, for you my darling. Why else would he ask you in such a way?” Diluc tried to keep the acid out of his words. It wasn’t your fault after all. It wasn’t your fault that some louche was asking after you.

“But I’m not the one in charge.” You furrowed your brow. “I can’t make the final decision. And I won’t allow him to attempt to bypass getting your permission either.”

“My darling, I, I think he meant it a different way.”

“What way?”

Diluc sighed, capitulating quickly to his want to tell you. Even if it was perhaps selfish of him, he was never truly good at keeping his feelings masked away, at least in a way that didn’t result in him completely shutting down. And you meant to much to him than for Diluc to try and lie to you.

“You see, I think he was attempting to ask you on a more romantic sort of dinner.”

“What?”

Your reaction was immediate, your expression quickly turning into one of shock and then of disgust. Letting out a groan you buried your face into the front of Diluc’s coat, eliciting a short laugh from its owner.

“Why? I… I… Even if I weren’t in love with you I’d never go out to dinner with him.”

“I don’t think he would appreciate the sentiment.”

“Diluc.” You let out another groan, shaking your head as if to rid yourself of the thought. “Archons, ugh thank you for telling me. I, disgusting.”

Diluc said nothing, simply tightening the hold of his arms around you. Though your reaction was certainly justifiable he knew there was something more behind them, and he felt grateful for your consideration. Though he knew that would always have been your reaction, it didn’t stop the pressure that ha been building in his chest, the thoughts that screamed what if, what if, what if. What if there is something better than you.

“Hey, are you alright?” You voice drifted up through the fabric of Diluc coat. He smiled, relaxing his grasp around you and pressing a soft kiss to the crown of your head.

“I will be. May I hold you a little longer?”

“Of course. You’re the only one for me, you know.”

“And you for me. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Those words, though so small, were somehow enough.

 Xiao

The new guest at the inn had been speaking to you for quite some time. That was Xiao’s first observation. The second was that you didn’t seem to mind. The third was that for some reason he suddenly felt incredibly irritated.

It was a beautiful evening, the kind that would’ve normally had you and Xiao sitting on the roof together, fingers entwined, the silence of nature cushioning the two of your from the outside world. It was a ritual, something that Xiao had come to rely on, had come to almost sanctify. Yet here he was, sitting on one of the thicker branches of the trees that dotted the outside of the Inn, trying desperately to quench the anger that bloomed in his chest as he watched you and the guest talk the minutes away.

Perhaps the worst part was that you didn’t seem to mind. Instead of pulling the conversation towards a close, you seemed perfectly content to keep talking, smiling brightly and quickly answering the questions of this uninvited guest. Normally Xiao didn’t care about , or rather didn’t keep track of, the people you spoke to. Of course you would have friends, would have people that mattered to you. Just because Xiao had disconnected himself from humanity didn’t mean that you had to. So why was he so angry?

His patience ran out when the guest reached for your hand. Sidling next to you as fast as he could Xiao peeled off his invisibility, enjoying the shock that registered across the uninvited guest’s face as he moved his hand back. Reaching to entwine his hand with yours Xiao shifted his gaze towards your face. Shock was painted into your expression, but there was also something else, a glimmer of happiness or of satisfaction. Somehow it unnerved Xiao, and he focused instead on the task at hand, whatever that task was.

“It’s getting late.”

“Oh, of course.” Turning back to the guest you smiled sheepishly. “I’m sorry to cut this short, but perhaps we’ll speak again some other time?”

“Gladly!” The man’s face lit up, before Xiao’s glaring left him scampering down the steps.

“Xiao, is something wrong?” The question was so genuine, without any sense of knowing more than you let. Unfortunately the question was also unanswerable.

“It’s late. We should go.” Xiao gestured towards the roof, hoping the reminder would flush the question out of your head.

“You’re right, I suppose it is getting late. And we wouldn’t want to waste such a wonderful evening.” You smiled. And yet somehow Xiao felt unplacated. He was happy, wasn’t he? So why, why did the question hang in the air, and why did the discontent remain?

The next day was a lazy one, as Xiao waited for you to be done with work. More than usual he missed you, and he wished that the hours would go faster, so he might be able to once more enjoy your presence, to banish the discontent that he still felt, evening after an hour spent wholly in your company.

Eventually the sun made its descent from the heavens, and Xiao pulled himself once more to the perch on the tree he’d taken the night before. Gazing down at the balcony he saw the familiar figure of the unwanted guest, and a stab of anger flashed through him. This was made all the worse by your entrance, and the fact you once more stopped to make time for this intruder.

The man was just as insufferable as before, full of jokes that Xiao didn’t understand and words that though praising of you felt somewhat hollow, almost insulting. You laughed along to these jokes, smiled at these odd compliments. And when the man asked if you might be willing to talk more over some sort of meal you merely smiled.

Xiao, however, found the whole ordeal unbearable. Why should this person be asking all these things, be prying you with words of intimacy and familiarity. Had he not arrived yesterday? Was he not an utter stranger? Confusion mixed with irritation in Xiao’s head, and he found it difficult to hold on to the stony reason he’d built up. What was going on? What was this terrible feeling of anger and want? He couldn’t understand human ways. Less could he understand why they should have any sort of effect on him.

Still he had to do something. Had to do anything. Swooping down once more Xiao began the same charade. This time, however, the man merely jumped, and for all his glaring Xiao couldn’t dislodge the guest from his place on the balcony.

“It’s late.”

“Ah it is. Are you hungry?” He asked, addressing you once more.

“I’m not at all, but Xiao’s right. It is late. If you haven’t eaten yet then perhaps you should. Smiley Yanxiao is quite strict about his rest.”

“Ah, then perhaps you’re right. Still, why not join me? You can tell me your name, and we can talk a little more about the things you do.”

“You don’t even know their name.” Xiao spat out the sentence, barely able to contain the odd sort of irritation that still spun around him. He asked you all those questions, said all those words of praise, all without knowing your name. It felt somehow dehumanizing, somehow… wrong.

“I would be glad to learn it.” The man smiled.

Xiao simply shook his head. He needed to leave. It was becoming too much again, and the last thing Xiao wanted was for a stranger to see him this way, see him unsure and confused and not a little frightened of these alien emotions. Glaring at the man one more time Xiao scooped you up. Ignoring the surprised shriek that you let out he shot up into the sky, moving towards the familiar sanctuary of Jueyen Karst, deeply grateful that the guest, whatever he could do, could never fly.

“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?” You asked, barely giving Xiao the time to set you down onto one of Liyue’s sloping peaks before asking him the one question he couldn’t answer.

“Nothing.”

“Well it’s certainly not nothing. You’re being awfully rude to that guest, and I can’t understand why. Usually you don’t really care about those sorts of things. So something must be wrong, and I want to know what it is.”

A pause.

“Please.”

“I can’t.” It was all Xiao could say, the only thing that would truly encompass the truth, because in truth he couldn’t. He himself didn’t understand it.

“What do you mean you can’t?”

“My chest hurts.”

“What?” Immediately your face shifted into one of worry, and you placed a soft hand over Xiao’s heart. Somehow the gesture was calming, and Xiao closed his eyes, enjoying the receding of the hot bands that had just been restricting him.

“My chest hurt when I saw you with that, that guest. My chest hurt and I felt angry. That’s what’s wrong. My chest hurt, but now it doesn’t; and I don’t understand it.”

There was a pause, and Xiao studied the expressions on your face, watched as they shifted from worry to confusion to caution.

“Xiao, is it possible you were jealous?”

“No.” The idea was somehow insulting.

“It’s alright to be jealous Xiao. It just means you care about someone very much. You don’t have to just dismiss it like that. I want to make sure that you’re alright, so please be honest. Is it possible you were jealous?”

Xiao let another gap form in the conversation, trying to figure out how to answer. The suggestion felt demeaning, felt as if he somehow had no control over himself, no trust of you. And yet it somehow made sense, and even as he shook his head he found himself letting out a different answer.

“I don’t know.”

“It’s okay if you don’t. I know that new emotions can be frightening, can be difficult to deal with. But Xiao, I’ll always love you. It doesn’t matter who else I meet or what else happens in my life. I love you the way that a bird loves the sky. You’re a part of my life I could never lose. So even if this isn’t jealousy, even if I’m wrong, I still want to let you know. I love you.”

Xiao sighed, a smile finally gracing his lips, the pain in his chest finally melting away. What did he ever do to deserve such a person as you, he would never know. He wished he could repeat those words back to you word for word, wished that he could explain that his love for you was all encompassing, had seeped through the cracks of his existence and his life. He wished he could form together the words necessary to convey his love for you. Even if it was impossible he still wished it.

So instead he leaned over towards you. Letting out a gentle sigh he brought his lips to yours, reveling in the soft sensation of your mouth against his, reveling in the way you leaned against him, bringing you arm up to his neck, letting out a soft breath of contentment as the two of you disconnected.

You didn’t ask him anything else, and for the rest of the evening you two sat on the grass, watching the fireflies dance around you as you leaned against one another.

Perhaps Xiao didn’t yet understand the extent to which he loved you, the emotions that had now risen up, given life by the love you’d poured into the adeptus. Perhaps he didn’t understand this yet, but he knew that all would be well. For with you all that irritation seemed so far away, as if it belonged to a Xiao of yesterday. Because here and now you two were together, breathing in the same mutual contentment, the same mutual trust, the same mutual love. And that present was more important than any jealousy could be.

 Zhongli

Looking back on the matter Zhongli admitted that maybe pretending the problem didn’t exist was probably not the best solution.

It was only that you two had seemed so oddly content in talking, so, compatible, that Zhongli couldn’t help but feel a twinge of discontent, a tension that spread through his jaw and down to his stomach. He didn’t quite understand the nature of the emotion that now spread over him, but he did understand that it was connected to the bond that was now forming between you and the vendor in front of you.

“Dearest one.” He spoke softly, walking over to where you now stood.

“Oh, Zhongli!” Your face lit up as usual, and the ex-archon felt a piece of him uncoil. At least some things seemed to be unchanging, just as wonderful today as they had been the day before.

“I’ve been looking for you. I know you spoke of wanting to learn more about the nature of Cor Lapis, and the tea shop has been offering a new brew. Perhaps we could share a drink?”

“Oh that sounds lovely!” Turning around towards the vendor you smiled gently. “I’m sorry, I’ll have to try that lovely soup you were speaking of some other time.”

“Not at all!” The vendor’s smile was good natured, and Zhongli didn’t understand why he nevertheless felt a twinge of uncertainty. “I look forward to it. I hope you two have a nice day, and we’ll talk about it more later.”

Though the stall receded into the distance as the two of you turned the corner, Zhongli couldn’t help but let the moment run through his mind once more, finding it as sore to think about as a bruise might be to the touch.

“That vendor? Oh they’re new on the scene.” You smiled, taking a sip of tea.

The tea house was as calming as ever, the noises of the outside a distant song, and the hushed whispers inside adding to the intimate atmosphere. Zhongli normally loved to sit here, drinking cup after cup of tea, watching as the people came and went about their business, immersed in a small fragment of Liyue life. Now, however, he found he couldn’t stop thinking about the vendor. If he closed his eyes he could still remember their face, and the way yours was lit up while they were talking to you.

“Their name is Eli.” You continued on, oblivious to the way Zhongli’s hand tightened around his teacup. “They said that they set up shop maybe… two weeks ago? It hasn’t been a very long time, and they’re still struggling a bit. I hope that they’ll be able to get their business off the ground, who knew that street food was such a cutthroat world.”

“The city of Liyue is full of people who might make their way in the world, doing whatever they can. Perhaps it is unsurprising that competition is second nature to Liyue’s citizens.” Zhongli replied, hoping his tone wasn’t too curt. If it was you didn’t seem to mind, nodding softly in agreement.

“Speaking of Liyue and stories, perhaps you would like to tell me the story you were going to tell? I very much doubt that Cor Lapis is the blood of Morax.”

“How humans love to spin their stories.” Zhongli chuckled.

But even as he began to speak of jewels and pressure and the minerals that lay deep beneath the earth a bit of him was still preoccupied by the vendor’s easy words and your smiling face.

The next time he ran into you with the vendor the pit in his stomach had only gotten heavier. Standing a little ways away he let the conversation between the two of you flow in and out his ear, frown slipping deeper the more he heard.

“I cannot believe that your stall nearly caught fire on your first day! How unlucky.”

“Even worse that I didn’t know who to try and tell about it. If I had known you were part of the Guild then I would’ve asked you.”

“Well next time there are troubles you can just send a message to the Adventurer’s Guild. We can’t have our citizens being injured on our watch.”

“You sound like true heroes. I wish I could do the sorts of things you did. Your commissions sound fascinating! I would love to see how you go about your day some time.”

“Really it’s nothing, most days it’s quite boring really, just like any other job. Still, it’s nice to know that people have an interest in what we do.”

“Oh certainly! I find what you do very interest– ”

“My dearest one!” Zhongli called out, unable to continue listening to the conversation, feeling somewhat guilty and certainly upset. You turned slightly, smile brightening as you saw your partner.

“Zhongli! So sorry that I didn’t meet you outside your office, I must’ve lost track of the time. Eli here was telling me all about their first days at work.”

“I’m sorry that I got out late. I hope that you did not have to wait awhile.”

“Oh not at all Zhongli, like I said I’ve just been standing here. You don’t need to feel bad at all!”

“I’m glad. Perhaps now we can go?”

Zhongli attempted to smile, but it felt a lot more like a grimace. You stared at him, face the picture of confusion. Taking a step forward you glanced one more time at Eli, shrugging apologetically. Before any more words could be passed between the two of you Zhongli grabbed onto your hand. Walking quite quickly he didn’t let go until the two of you were at your apartment and he could finally breathe again.

“Zhongli, what’s the matter with you?” You asked, closing the apartment door behind you. Walking back towards Zhongli, who stood there silently, you let your hands rest lightly on his shoulders. “You can tell me you know, I can tell you’re unhappy.”

“I have a confession.” Zhongli started, feeling somehow compelled to reveal his thoughts, as if keeping them locked away would only be dangerous.

“Yes?”

“I, I did not like the way that the vendor spoke to you.”

“Eli? But they were perfectly nice.”

“I do not mean that they were rude. They were perfectly cordial. I mean, when the two of you were speaking, I, I felt uncomfortable. It was as if there was a barrier between us in that moment. I, I did not like it.”

“Oh Zhongli.” You breathed out, an indulgent smile on your face.

Reaching up you planted fleeting kisses on the archon’s face, peppering his cheeks and the bridge of his nose, touch featherlight. It was a familiar gesture, one of comfort, one used in darker nights, when shadows dotted the periphery of Zhongli’s vision.

“Zhongli, I assume you know what jealousy is?”

“I know the term and what it means. I admit I am not personally familiar with the concept.”

“Well I am, so let me tell you. What you experienced, that was jealousy, plain and simple. I know it’s very uncomfortable. Jealousy can be such a messy feeling, it sticks everywhere. But it’s also normal. So you don’t need to worry. I promise that nothing will happen, and I promise that these feelings would go away. I also promise that I love you very much, so even if you feel these emotions, you don’t have to worry.”

“How could I ever worry about you?” Zhongli murmured, wrapping his arms around you, basking in your proximity.

The apology only came in the evening, after words and kisses and love had hung long enough in the air to dull the feelings that Zhongli had been carrying around. Now he lay there next to you, chin resting gently on your head, suddenly realizing that he’d most likely acted quite rudely.

“I’m sorry I ignored Eli.”

“I’m sure they’ll understand.” You murmured. “Though I’m not actually sure what got you riled up about them.”

“You are also a bit oblivious dearest one,” Zhongli let out a soft laugh, “it seems they were quite taken with you.”

“Were they?” You asked, tone betraying your surprise. You paused for a moment, as if trying to replay your interactions. “I never noticed. To be honest, I don’t think I could ever notice, not when I have you.”

“Thank you.” Zhongli whispered, oddly overcome by the confession.

As he lay awake, carding gentle fingers through your hair and listening to the even breaths of your sleeping form he pondered just how lucky he was. Precious gems might come from pressure and earth and chance. But you were more precious than all of them. And he’d never forget that.

[sincerelystranger]

It’s a strange feeling to learn something new about a person you thought you knew everything about, and the newness leaves a strange taste in Jiang Cheng’s mouth, a faintly uncomfortable feeling in his gut.

It’s not anything major – not really anyway – and it shouldn’t bother him so much but…

But…

But the thing is…

Wei Wuxian lies.

He lies a lot.

And his lies are about stupid things – like that he’s fine when he’s obviously not, and that he’s forgotten something when he hasn’t, and…

Well, he lies.

And it’s surprising to Jiang Cheng, because he always thought that Wei Wuxian was basically incapable of lying. Incapable of just saying nice shit to smooth things over. Incapable of hiding his feelings at the expense of someone else’s pride. Incapable of just saying some stupid white lie when some idiot in charge asked him something.

Incapable.

Now, Jiang Cheng realizes that Wei Wuxian wasn’t incapable, he was just unwilling.

And maybe it’s because of this new face – younger and stranger and just a little bit familiar – or maybe it’s because Jiang Cheng is older now, and maybe just a little bit wiser, but it’s easier to read Wei Wuxian now.

Easier to see the slight downturn of his lips before he gives a fake smile. Easier to notice the strange, tired nervousness in his eyes as he checks to see if his lies have been believed.

Easier.

Easier to see, but not any easier to understand.

“So you just randomly decided to come to Lotus Pier,” he asks slowly, his eyes carefully tracking every nervous tick of Wei Wuxian’s brow.

“Yeah,” Wei Wuxian smiles, scrunching up his nose as if he’s being mischievous. “Can I stay, oh great Sect leader Jiang?”

He’s so obviously unhappy that it makes Jiang Cheng’s jaw ache.

“I promise I won’t stay long. Maybe just a week. And I’ll be quiet. You’ll barely know I’m here!”

“Shut up,” Jiang Cheng sighs, stepping to the side to let Wei Wuxian in through the gate. “Since when have you needed my permission to stay here.”

“Your kindness knows no bounds, great Sect Leader Jiang,” Wei Wuxian says, bowing obnoxiously as he slides his way past Jiang Cheng.

“It knows bounds and I’m sure you’ll test them,” Jiang Cheng replies, kicking at Wei Wuxian’s knees as he follows him inside.

Wei Wuxian hums as he walks and excitedly waves to disciples he knows.

To anyone else, he probably looks careless and happy, but Jiang Cheng knows better.

He can see the tense set of his shoulders, the forced bounce in his steps, the fake lift of his lips and the way his smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

His stupid brother is miserable and it’s obvious. Achingly so.

It makes something clench tightly in Jiang Cheng’s stomach. A strange, stuffy feeling in his chest. It’s…

Irritating.

“You know where your room is,” he says, wanting to quickly part from Wei Wuxian before this irritation grows into something bigger. “Should I expect your stupid husband to be here soon?”

That Lan-er will know how to handle a sad Wei Wuxian. And, historically speaking, wherever Wei Wuxian goes, Lan-er is soon to follow. There’s no way he’d let Wei Wuxian just hang out in Lotus Pier by himself for a week.

Wei Wuxian stumbles over his own feet at the mention of the Lan-er.

“Ah, Lan Zhan?” he asks, a weak smile on his face.

Strange.

“He’s not coming.”

Very strange.

Jiang Cheng feels a strange nervousness join the irritation in his stomach. If the Lan-er isn’t coming, then…

Then Jiang Cheng is going to have to…

“Well whatever, whatever,” he says hurriedly, turning away to walk towards the main hall. “Do whatever you want.”

It’s not Jiang Cheng’s problem and Jiang Cheng doesn’t care.

He doesn’t.

So what if his stupid brother is stupidly sad? What if it has something to do with his equally stupid husband? Who cares?

Not Jiang Cheng.

Yep.

Jiang Cheng does not care at all.

---

Jiang Cheng successfully spends the whole day not caring about his stupid sad brother and his stupid sad marital problems.

He eats lunch and even dinner with Wei Wuxian and pretends to fall for his stupid ‘I’m totally fine and super happy’ façade. Wei Wuxian is obviously putting in a lot of effort to appear normal. It’s basically a kindness to go along with it.

It is.

Anyway, it isn’t Jiang Cheng’s problem and Jiang Cheng doesn’t care.

So when his head disciple catches him as he’s walking back to his room after dinner and tells him that Hanguang-jun has checked in to a local inn by the piers, Jiang Cheng just waves him off.

Not his problem. He doesn’t care.

He doesn’t care.

Except…

Except it’s very rude of the Lan-er to come to Lotus Pier and not pay respects to the sect leader. Jiang Cheng should probably go and set him straight.

Yeah.

---

Lan-er looks an absolute mess as he opens the door for Jiang Cheng.

His hair is perfect, of course, and his clothes are perfect, of course, and his expression is the same placid expression he always wears, but he looks a mess.

It’s just something about his aura.

He’s obviously torn up about something.

Or maybe Jiang Cheng is projecting – whatever.

“Very rude to come all the way to Lotus Pier without paying respects to the sect leader, don’t you think?” Jiang Cheng asks as he walks into the room. “Even more disrespectful to disregard my hospitality and choose to stay in an inn instead of Lotus Pier.” He sits down at the table and considers whether or not the Lan-er would take offense if he orders some wine.

Lan-er takes a seat across from him, his expression betraying no emotion other than what might be slight annoyance. “Wei Ying wishes to be… alone.” Lan-er’s voice does something strange as he says alone and his brow twitches just bit and it does something strange to his face – it makes him look… like he might be seconds away from bursting into tears.

Fuck Lan-er’s feelings. Jiang Cheng yells for some wine.

“Did he say that? Because he hasn’t really been alone since he’s come here,” Jiang Cheng says, pouring some wine into his cup. “He spent all day with the disciples and he ate lunch and dinner with me.”

Lan-er’s face does something strange again, and he almost – almost – sighs.

“So what you really mean is Wei Wuxian told you not to follow him to Lotus Pier, right?”

Lan-er doesn’t answer but his silence is answer enough for Jiang Cheng. He downs his cup of wine.

This really isn’t his problem. 

“What the fuck did you do?” Jiang Cheng asks, and his voice comes out angrier than he means it to.

He’s not angry.

Well…

He shouldn’t be angry.

Because this isn’t his problem… but…

He slams his cup down on the table. “I know that fucking idiot – I can’t think of a thing in this world you could do to make him angry with you, so whatever you did must be pretty bad,” he says. 

He can feel hot anger growing in his stomach with every word that comes out of his mouth. His idiot brother thinks that the Lan-er is the best thing since music was first created. The Lan-er could probably tell his stupid brother to cut his hands off and Wei Wuxian would probably do it happily. If Wei Wuxian is upset with the Lan-er…

Upset enough to leave…

Jiang Cheng has to let go of the cup in his hand or risk it shattering. He’s so angry his fingers shake.

“I will personally escort you out of Yunmeng unless you tell me what you did,” he threatens lowly.

Lan-er just looks down at the table and if Jiang Cheng didn’t know better – if Jiang Cheng didn’t know that this was the man who stood against the world with Wei Wuxian – then he would assume that Lan-er didn’t care.

But Jiang Cheng knows better.

The Lan-er has to care. He has to.

He came all the way to Yunmeng and checked into this small inn by the water because he… because he cares.

The Lan-er doesn’t sigh, but he breathes deeply before he opens his mouth.

“I…” he closes his mouth again, his brow furrowing just the slightest bit in frustration. He looks up, and for the first time since Jiang Cheng entered the room, he meets Jiang Cheng’s eyes. “I can’t seem to stop… grieving.”

Jiang Cheng feels the anger in his body leave him in a sudden gush. Confusion rushing in to replace it.

Jiang Cheng just stares at Lan-er.

Lan-er stares back.

Grieving.

Grieving?

What does Lan-er have to grieve?

Jiang Cheng refills his cup with wine and breaks eye contact with the Lan-er. He drinks his wine slowly and breathes. He needs to handle this… carefully. The Lan-er is obviously going through something.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” he asks finally.

Lan-er looks back down to the table and something about his expression lets Jiang Cheng know that Lan-er totally regrets admitting anything to Jiang Cheng. He thinks Jiang Cheng is a fucking idiot. Which isn’t fair because it’s the Lan-er who isn’t making any fucking sense.

Jiang Cheng takes a breath and tries to ask the question again – even more carefully.

“What the fuck, or who the fuck are you grieving? And why is Wei Wuxian upset about it?”

Great job. Jiang Cheng is really good at this. All those years mediating shit for Jin Ling have really paid off.

Lan-er closes his eyes for a moment and breathes out slowly. He opens them and looks back up to meet Jiang Cheng’s gaze.

“I can’t seem to stop grieving Wei Ying,” he says slowly, his gaze steady, his words sure. He says it like it should make sense.

Jiang Cheng fills his cup again and looks at Lan-er in concern. “Wei Wuxian is alive,” he says earnestly, because maybe the Lan-er is going through some mental breakdown. “He’s annoying the shit out of me at Lotus Pier.”

Lan-er shakes his head just the slightest bit. “I understand Wei Ying is alive,” he says, “but… I grieved for him for so long and… and I can’t seem to stop.”

Ah.

Jiang Cheng thinks he can… understand… a little bit.

“You mean you’re scared?” he asks quietly.

Lan-er grimaces just a little, as if Jiang Cheng’s words hit a little too close to home and he nods.

“Wei Ying says it makes him feel lonely. He says that perhaps I’m more in love with his memory than…”

This is so not Jiang Cheng’s problem and way above Jiang Cheng’s pay grade. He doesn’t… Jin Ling’s problems never prepared him for this.

He drinks his cup of wine slowly, to buy some time and to gather some liquid courage.

“Well,” he starts, waving his cup towards Lan-er like it might offer up some answers, “You know, he’s an idiot.”

Lan-er’s expression shutters close. “Wei Ying is not an idiot,” he says tersely.

“He is,” Jiang Cheng replies firmly. “He’s an idiot for sure. And that idiot is at Lotus Pier right now, miserable as hell, because he thinks he might be the reason you might be even a little bit unhappy.”

Lan-er looks up at Jiang Cheng again.

“That idiot is stupidly in love with you. You know that, right?” Jiang Cheng asks. “Knowing him, he’s probably preparing himself to leave you so you can find some greater happiness or something.”

Lan-er’s brows furrow together. “There is no greater happiness than Wei Ying,” he says seriously, as if that isn’t the grossest thing Jiang Cheng has ever heard.

“Don’t tell me that,” Jiang Cheng says with a roll of his eyes, “Go tell Wei Wuxian that!”

“Wei Ying said he wants to be alone,” Lan-er says dejectedly.

Jiang Cheng sighs and refills his cup. He’s well on his way to tipsy now and his tolerance for stupidity is going down with every sip of wine.

“You know he lies, right?” Jiang Cheng asks, “He lies like… all the fucking time.”

Lan-er just stares at him as if Jiang Cheng is speaking in another language.

It’s almost funny.

“He says he’s okay when he’s obviously not, he smiles when he doesn’t feel like smiling,” Jiang Cheng says as examples, “Oh! And you probably didn’t even know he noticed you were grieving until he just blew up about it, right?”

Lan-er nods slowly.

“You get it now? Your stupid husband lies.”

“My husband is not stupid,” Lan-er says.

Jiang Cheng waves it off with his cup of wine, “Yeah, yeah, whatever. What I mean is that Wei Wuxian lied about wanting to be alone. He doesn’t want to be alone – trust me.”

Lan-er just stares at Jiang Cheng, and Jiang Cheng might just be imagining it but it looks like there’s some sort of hopeful light in Lan-er’s eyes – like he might be desperately wanting to believe Jiang Cheng.

He should believe Jiang Cheng. Jiang Cheng is right.

“But I can’t stop grieving,” Lan-er says softly, the hopeful light in his eyes dying.

“Of course you can’t stop grieving,” Jiang Cheng says, and he’s almost done with his bottle of wine at this point. This conversation needs to be over before his wine is done.

Lan-er looks at Jiang Cheng in question. Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes. Wei Wuxian and his husband owe Jiang Cheng so much for this. So. Much

“You love him,” Jiang Cheng says slowly, “You probably love him more than you did twenty years ago. More than you did last year, right?”

Lan-er nods.

“So of course you can’t stop grieving,” Jiang Cheng says, “You’ve already experienced what it’s like to lose him. You can’t stop grieving because your heart is just trying to prepare itself for the worst possible outcome.”

Lan-er lifts a hand to hold over his heart. He doesn’t say anything but he doesn’t look quite convinced.

“Look, your grieving is probably keeping mementos and writing shit down about Wei Wuxian and just trying your best to remember him, right? Trying your best to keep as much of him as you can?”

Lan-er nods slowly, as if he’s a little bit suspicious of how Jiang Cheng might know this. “Did Wei Ying…?”

Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes again. He’s all out of wine and patience. “No,” he says, “that idiot hasn’t said a word to me about your little problem.” He stands then and walks over to the corner where a small satchel is – all the Lan-er brought with him to Yunmeng. “You can’t stop grieving him because you’re so stupidly in love with him that the thought of losing him scares you to fucking death.”

He picks up the satchel and throws it to Lan-er who, annoyingly enough, catches it easily. “Spare my idiot brother a night of misery. Come to Lotus Pier.”

Jiang Cheng walks out the inn, not even bothering to look back to see if the Lan-er will follow. He’s done all he can. If the idiot in white still chooses to stay at the inn, well… Jiang Cheng will chase him out of Yunmeng tomorrow.

---

Lan-er catches up to him about midway to Lotus Pier. He’s quiet and Jiang Cheng feels perfectly content to keep the silence. He feels warm and light from the wine and the night is cool and clear. He feels…

“How did you know the reason for my grieving?” Lan-er says suddenly. It’s unlike him to break the silence first. He must really want to know.

Jiang Cheng has half a mind not to tell him. He sort of wants to keep this to himself. But maybe it’s the wine or the clear night or just his general good mood but…

“I grieve Jin Ling,” he admits lightly. “He was the only family I had after I lost everyone. He was just a little baby; you know? But I was constantly terrified of losing him. Even now, I still have the clothes he used to wear when he was a toddler. I have the first bow I gave him. The first shoes he wore when he could first walk. I remember, I used to just stare at him because I was afraid I might forget what he looked like.”

He doesn’t look at Lan-er as he admits this. And it’s strange to admit this to Lan-er of all people. But… Lan-er can keep a secret – Jiang Cheng knows this. Maybe that’s why he feels safe to admit it.

“Luckily, Jin Ling isn’t a fucking idiot like my brother,” he says, “Jin Ling just thinks I’m a sentimental uncle.”

Lan-er doesn’t say anything in response, but Jiang Cheng finds he doesn’t care.

It’s a strange feeling to learn something new about someone he thought he knew all about, even stranger to learn that someone he thought infallible shares the same fears as him.

It’s… strange.

But under the cool clear skies of Yunmeng, he feels strangely close to Lan-er.

Strange.

[detectivemarvelingcomics]

How about a request for batsis getting hurt during a mission and batboys exaggerate 😈 thank u!

I DO LOVE MY BATSIS AND BATFAM FICS LETS GOOOOOO

Also I’m assuming you want a reaction! If you want otherwise do let me know! So let’s get started!

Batsis!Reader Gets Injured in a Mission and the Batboys are the Only Ones Home

No Specified AU

TW: Language

Genre: Fluff, Light Comedy

[DC Masterlist]

Word Count: 1.3K

You skid to a stop on your motorcycle, leaving tire tracks behind you in the batcave. You could clean that later when you weren’t bleeding out. You stumbled off of the vehicle, your hand still clutching on to the bloodied towel that kept your uniform from getting dirty and took your helmet off. You had a rather dirty run in with a few lowtime criminals who some how got their hands on alien tech, how that happened you’d have to ask Star Labs later, but either way despite your many encounters with villains who were much worse, the sudden blast from a laser shocked you just enough for them to get at least a cut in. Regardless you took care of them quickly and took the weapons back, which were now pathetically hanging off the side of your motorcycle.

You rolled your shoulders back and began you ascent up the stairs to get back into the manor, it would be best if you cleaned this up as soon as you could because god were you tired. You opened the door quietly.

“Please may no one be home,” you said to yourself repeatedly. Your brothers had a knack for getting rather loud when you came back with cuts and bruises, but you couldn’t blame them with all of their unresolved trauma and the fact that you, miraculously, happen to be the one Bat that hasn’t either died and came back or gotten beaten nearly to death, which you constantly held over them because damn in this business that’s more than just an achievement.

You successfully made it to the bathroom and pulled out the small medical kit and started working on the shallow wound, and right as you finished the shower curtain pulled back.

“Ahh!” You jumped back.

“Ahh!” Tim got into a defensive stance.

“What the hell are you doing in the shower?!"

"What the hell are you doing without a shirt?"

"I asked first!"

"You don't just sit in the shower to think?" You do, but you lock the door when you decide to do that. "Oh my god, did you get injured?!"

"No," you grabbed your shirt and hid the bandages that wrapped around your torso. You both stared at each other for a moment before Tim darted out of the bathroom. "Don't you fucking dare tell anyone, Drake!" You followed him out and ran into the worst possible person.

"Whoa, careful there, (Y/N), when did you get home?" Dick asks. Then he notices your bandages. "What happened? Who did you fight? Why didn't you call for backup? Where were you?"

"Oh my god, I'm fine, Dick," you walked past him and he caught up with you.

"Fine? Fine? You didn't even wrap that right, (Y/N)," Dick begins his lecture and you begin to tune him out right as you walked into your room and shut the door. Dick, knowing his boundaries, stood outside still lecturing you, and you walked out with a new shirt on and continued to ignore him while he shot you rapid fire questions. "At least answer my first questions, (Y/N)." You sighed, and without turning to him, said,

"Got grazed with a knife. Ran into some burglars that for some reason had alien tech. Didn't need it. Downtown," you answered his questions in succession while entering the kitchen, waving to Jason, who was getting a snack, and Tim, who was probably telling Jason about your predicament.

"Alien tech? And they didn't use it?" Tim asks.

"Exactly, they probably didn't know how to. But it doesn't matter, because I am very clearly fine," you reached past Jason into the refrigerator and pulled out a fruit cup.

"You're bleeding through your shirt," Jason points out. You look down and he was right. You let out another loud sigh and tear off a few paper towels from the sink and placed them under your shirt. "At least dress it right or you'll die from bleeding out rather than actually getting stabbed."

"Well, to be fair, if Tim didn't spontaneously pop out of the shower maybe I would have," you complained.

"You didn't lock the door?" Jason turns to him.

"There are ten bathrooms in this mansion, I didn't think anyone would go in!" Tim defends. "But that's besides the point! (Y/N), I don't think you understand the gravity of the situation. If they had alien tech then that knife could have been laced with something."

"Are you implying that I could have alien eggs in me?"

"Why's everyone screaming?" The youngest Wayne entered the kitchen. "I can hear you all from my room."

"Tim thinks (Y/N) got eggs implanted in her," Dick says quickly.

"No, no I don't. Besides, that's not how alien fertilization works."

"You know how alien fertilization works?" You couldn't help the contorted face you made at the thought of how he knew.

"You always do this when we call you out, (Y/N), the point is you could very likely have some kind of alien virus or bacteria inside of you that could quite possibly kill you!"

"Tim, I'm pretty sure it was a normal knife," you walked over to the pantry and took out a bag of potato chips.

"But, if what Grayson just told me was right," Damien cuts in. "How stupid could you be? Letting something as simple as a knife get to you?" He mocks.

"If you weren't a kid I would've punted you by now," you pointed at him with a potato chip and ate it. "Do I have to remind you about last week?"

"No," he scoffs. "But that's not the point. You're trained well enough to avoid bullets and you let a knife get close to you? How out of it were you?"

"I will admit that the alien guns that also shot Bruce did distract me a little."

"And you let them go free?!" Jason finally grasped the gravity of the situation. "What if they come back to find you because they're pissed?"

"Relax, I have them in the batcave," you waved him off.

"You could've been killed," Jason argues.

"Oh stop being so dramatic, Todd, I'm obviously standing here right now, aren't I?"

"One shot from any of those and you could've either been disintegrated or catapulted into another dimension," Tim adds.

"Or worse, completely debilitated and decommissioned," Dick continues.

"You could be dying right now and you wouldn't know it because of how dense you are, (L/N)," Damien was next. You continued eating your chips while they started to talk over each other, then you finally spoke up.

"Okay, I get it, I'll be more careful from now on," you spoke in a steady voice. "Now, I'm gonna go clean this up because I was so rudely interrupted by someone, and when I come back, this discussion will be over," you held your hand up to silence Jason, who was about to retaliate. Then you walked over to the kitchen door and pulled it off of its hinges.

You stood there for a good few seconds, staring at the door in your hands, and the ruined door frame. Then you looked back at the other boys, who essentially all had their jaws on the ground.

"Could she do that before?" Jason asked Dick.

"No..." the other shook his head.

"Alfred's going to kill me..." you laid the door against the wall. You reached for the water bottle on the side of the table and opened it, intending to chug the whole thing down to calm your nerves, but none of the water came out, instead the whole thing was iced over. "Uh..."

The kitchen was silent. You ran back to the bathroom and took your shirt off then the bandages, seeing that the wound had turned blue and had completely frosted over. The other boys followed you, their heads sticking through the door.

"I was right?!" Tim's voice echoed throughout the manor and you slammed your head on the wall behind you.