#to be fair it Is easier to just post on instagram stories

[toldentops]

if anyone’s wondering what I’ve been up to, I’m in the woods for a 5 week insect field course and am more active posting bug pics on, of all things, instagram, but when I remember to do so and if I’m confident to identify them, pics will go to @pipunculidae !

[girlyassumes]

Manifestation content creators I recommend

So, I know everyone is different with who they like in the manifestation community which is totally fair. But, I just wanted to do a post recommending the ones I particularly like and why I feel they offer a good perspective. Disclaimer: this list is in no specific order.

Kyle August (AKA Manifestation Man) - I have been watching Kyle's content since I first started learning about manifestation and his videos are surprisingly a source of comfort for me. I will say, his titles are very gimmicky, but don't let that fool you because he actually offers some really solid insight, analogies, and Neville Goddard quotes in his videos. He even breaks down what each Neville Goddard quote means so it's easier to understand. Almost all of his videos focus on manifesting an SP, so if that's what you're looking to manifest, his videos can be of good help. However, the advice he gives can be applied to other things you might be manifesting which makes it worth watching. Kyle is very peppy and encouraging; he doesn't shame anybody if they're not having success. He also posts daily on Instagram and just about every 2-3 days on YouTube. I 100% get if he's not your cup of tea - totally fine - but I myself have enjoyed a lot of his content.

Taylor Tookes - Oh my god. She's amazing and you most likely have heard of her. She's had coaching from Sammy Ingram and branches off of what she learned from her, plus shares her own advice and success stories. What I love about her is that she's very straight-forward about how simple it is to manifest. There's no fluff, no sugar coating with her - she explains it like it is, in the simplest way possible. I feel like she's put me in my place when it comes to manifesting because of how honest she is and how simple her explanations are lol, but sometimes, we all need that. Taylor also has some amazing success stories, like how she became a model despite being shorter than the standard model height. If you want that honesty, that simple explanation, and those real life success stories, I highly recommend watching her videos and following her Twitter (X) account.

Sammy Ingram - So, I recommend Sammy because I've had some success with techniques she's talked about. I first learned about rampaging and EIYPO from her, and the way she explained it was easy to understand. I had one of my most successful manifestations with my SP (the one I talked about in success story #2) because of her pushing the rampaging technique - I listened and I followed. I also had no clue whatsoever as to what EIYPO was until I watched her videos about it. Sammy is talked about a lot amongst people in the manifestation community and she has a pretty big following that includes people who've had success because of her. I'll be honest, sometimes I think she's got a bit of a snippy attitude which I don't always like, but I can admire her honesty and how comfortable she is in all of her videos.

Neyah - Neyah is so bold and loud, which I honestly love about her. Some of her videos are her yelling at me through the screen to get my shit together and understand manifestation, but in a good way lol. She really makes sure to drill all the different concepts into your head. I also love how often she shares her own personal experiences and successes since some of the other content creators tend to hold back on how much they share about their personal life (which is totally fine, but I feel more reassured when they share their own stories). My favorite manifestation video that I've watched so far is one of hers where she shares a story about how she got the place of her dreams despite feeling negative and doubtful. I feel like that resonated with me a lot because we're so often told that we "can't waver" and "can't have doubts."

Danielle Desautelle - Danielle seems so down-to-earth and she's a very logical thinker which offers a great new perspective on manifestation. Her content really resonates with me because she often speaks in a very logical way and is very understanding when it comes to struggling with manifesting since it's something she herself has dealt with. She's good at offering different solutions and breaks down piece-by-piece, step-by-step how manifestation works. She's done a lot of research from multiple philosophers to help her understand and build great techniques. What's cool is that each successful experience she's talked about involved a different approach. She's still growing as a YouTuber, so I feel she deserves more love and recognition for her content. I can also personally say she helped me shift into another reality multiple times just from her thoroughly explaining her own story of how she did it.

Alexa Wyrwicz - Alexa is just a really cute person, honestly. Her videos are really comforting and uplifting. I feel she gives a lot of simple explanations and ways of visualizing and affirming. I don't really have a whole lot to say about her, but I just enjoy watching her videos. Also very much a source of comfort for me.

Maleeka, is my guardian angel - Chelsea is just a whole new type of energy that I totally vibe with. She's done a hefty amount of research on manifesting and does a fabulous job of thoroughly breaking everything down. Her video focused on how we need to focus and become the new version of ourselves instead of focusing on the thing itself that we're manifesting just really hit home for me. The focusing for 68 seconds one is also very good and made me realize how quickly we can visualize in a matter of seconds as long as we just focus.

Jillz Guerin - Jillz reminds me of the person I want to be. She's got this amazing feminine energy and not only does manifestation videos, but just videos with advice on how to improve yourself (which, in all honesty, can help you get closer to manifesting anyhow). I thought she gave a really good perspective on manifesting this "perfect" SP. She was talking about how her friends successfully manifested these "perfect" SPs they envisioned but it fell through because there was that missing portion of loving them through hardships. She's all about positive feminine energy and talks to everyone in an older sister type of way. I definitely enjoy her videos.

House of Highbrations - My god. Bobbie is an It Girl, in the best way possible. You can absolutely see in every video that she successfully manifested her dream life. She's always in a different luxurious location in each of her videos. She speaks very calmly and encouragingly instead of boasting about herself, too. I feel like her videos uplift me and give me hope about manifesting a different life for myself. She's stunning and I can tell she's been in the community for a long time now. All the good vibes are there and I love her channel title (so clever).

Honorable mention: Christian Walker: I know Christian isn't known for being a manifestation content creator and he's had a bit of a controversial past online, but he recently started his YouTube channel and his content is so empowering for women looking/manifesting a dream man. Things he mentions in his videos definitely involve manifesting and EIYPO. He's mentioned having limiting beliefs multiple times and how those limiting beliefs attract bad men (bad SPs, we'll say). If you need a good talk about the type of men you're attracting, he will put you in your place while being encouraging. I absolutely love his new content. He eats and leaves no crumbs.

Don't feel you need to watch them or be like "this content creator sucks, Jibb." We all think differently and like different things. I get it. I'm just writing this if you would like some new recommendations for manifestation content. We all offer different perspectives and it can feel nice watching and hearing the different perspectives offered online.

[rafesfavoritegirl]

waves between us

chapter 2: lines in the sand

𓂃⋆.˚ Aurora, still reeling from a fractured relationship with Jj, heads to a party in search of distraction but instead finds chaos. A tense confrontation erupts when Jj shows up, dredging up unresolved feelings and regrets between them. The night spirals further when Rafe intervenes, igniting a violent clash that leaves Aurora caught in the middle, torn between two volatile worlds and the remnants of a love she can't fully leave behind.

word count 2.1k

content warnings: alcohol use, a party setting, physical violence, verbal conflict, mentions of past relationship trauma, toxic relationship dynamics, mild injury, emotional manipulation, explicit language, and aggressive behavior.

I woke up feeling a bit disoriented, as if last night had been nothing more than a hazy dream. Reaching for my phone on the nightstand, I checked for any notifications, my heart sinking slightly when I saw that Jj hadn’t called me back. Maybe it was because I’d called so late, or perhaps he’d been busy—he was always off on some adventure. Pushing the thought aside, I opened Instagram, craving a distraction to pull me out of my restless thoughts. 

I came across Sarah’s story on Instagram, a post shared to her close friends that read, “Swipe up if you’re going to the Boneyard tn.” Instead of swiping up, I decided to call her. The phone barely rang twice before she picked up.

“Hey!” I started. “I saw your story—I’m gonna go.”

Her response was immediate, her voice bubbling with surprise. “No way! I thought you didn’t like parties. What made you change your mind?”

I hesitated for a moment, it caught off guard by how true her observation was. I had been avoiding parties as much as I can ever since everything went down last year. “Yeah,” I admitted, “I just... need a distraction, you know? And what better way than to get wasted?” I added a soft laugh, trying to keep it light`.

She chuckled back, clearly amused. “Fair enough. Do you want me to pick you up? I’ll be the DD.”

Her offer was a relief. With Rafe likely being there, I wasn’t eager to run into him, and having Sarah drive would make things easier. “Sounds perfect. Thank youuuu!”

“Of course! I’ll see you there. Love you! Bye!”

“Bye!” I replied quickly before hanging up.

The party didn’t start until 10, which left me eight hours to get ready. Plenty of time to mentally prepare myself for whatever the night might bring.

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

When we arrived at the Boneyard, the first thing I did was make my way for the shots. Without hesitation, I downed two drinks back-to-back, hoping to catch a buzz quickly. Across the party, I caught Sarah’s concerned gaze as she stood near Topper, but I brushed it off. What I couldn’t brush off, however, was Rafe making his way toward me. I knew I couldn’t avoid him forever.

“Hey, what was that all about?” he asked, smirking as he ran a hand through his hair.

“Nothing. I just want to have some fun,” I replied casually, trying to dismiss him.

His expression shifted as he took a sip of his drink, his tone turning more serious. “You wanna talk about last night? I kind of want to talk now.”

I stared at him for a moment, then drank my third shot. “No, I don’t really want to talk. Can you just give me space?”

He scoffed, clearly irritated, his frustration bubbling to the surface. “Space? Fine. I’ll give you space, but we’re leaving together.”

I wiped the alcohol from my lips and shrugged. “Whatever, Rafe. See you later, I guess.”

Without another word, he stormed off, heading back to Kelce and his crew. Feeling the buzz settle in but wanting something stronger, I wandered over to Sarah and Topper, who were holding a jug of Kelce’s infamous lemonade.

“Can I get a cup?” I asked as I approached.

“Yeah, for sure,” Topper said, pouring me a drink and handing it over.

“Thanks,” I said, taking a long sip, the sweet burn of the drink hitting just right. 

Just as I was starting to unwind, a sudden commotion rippled through the party, accompanied by murmurs and glances. Of course, it had to be a group of Pogues crashing the scene—the one day I desperately needed to clear my head. The first person my eyes landed on was Jj. My heart sank the moment I saw him. For a brief second, our eyes locked, and I quickly looked away, pretending not to notice. The Pogues wasted no time, heading straight for the kegs and scattered drinks, their laughter and chatter so loud it was impossible to ignore, I almost felt like I missed it.

The party buzzed around me, each group tucked into its own little corner of laughter and conversation. I sipped my drink, the alcohol sinking deeper into my system with every passing moment. The worries and thoughts that had been gnawing at me earlier were fading into the background, dulled by the warm haze spreading through my veins.

Then, like a ripple through the fog, I saw him.

He moved toward me with an ease that made my heart plummet straight to the floor. My breath hitched, and the world seemed to tilt just slightly as he stopped in front of us—his gaze lingering on me, though he addressed the three of us as a group.

"Would I be able to offer you ladies a drink?" he asked, his voice smooth, almost disarming.

The words hung in the air, yet all I could focus on was the way his presence seemed to shift around him, pulling my attention into his orbit.

Before I could even process the question, Topper stepped in front of Sarah and me, his stance firm and protective, his hand lightly brushing my arm as if to shield me. His voice came out steady, though with a sharp edge to it.

“Nah, man, we’re good,” he said, dismissive but calm.

The blonde guy didn’t falter. Instead, he smirked, his eyes locking on mine with a confidence that felt almost invasive. “Nah,” he said, his tone low but playful, “but I’m asking Rora.”

The outside seemed to hold its breath, the tension crackling between them like static. 

Topper glances at me, confused, before turning back to Jj with a stern voice. "Rory wants nothing to do with you. Back off." He shoves Jj, causing him to spill beer on himself.

"Yo, what the fuck!" Jj snaps, his tone sharp.

Before things escalate, I grab Topper and pull him back. "Let me handle this," I say firmly. Without waiting for a reply, I stride toward Jj, grab his hand, and pull him away from the party, leading him somewhere out of sight.

Once we're alone, I spin around to face him. "What the hell was that about, Jjay?" I demand, my words slurred, not realizing I'd just used the nickname I swore I'd never say again.

Jj raised an eyebrow, his lips curving into a crooked smirk, though there was something guarded in his eyes. “Jjay, huh?” he drawled, leaning back slightly, his tone teasing but laced with something else. “Didn’t think I’d hear that again.”

He ran a hand through his messy blonde hair, his eyes flickering with a mix of amusement "But if you're asking about back there..." His smirk faded briefly, replaced by an unguarded moment of honesty. "I didn’t like seeing you with them, alright?

In response I spat out "And what was that look you gave me at the party yesterday?" Jj didn’t seem surprised; he knew exactly what I was referring to. "I don’t know," he replied, "seeing you there and even now, it just didn’t feel like you. That whole scene isn’t you." I scoffed, disbelief flooding me. No way he actually said that. Anger surged through me as I shot back, "You ended things with me because you thought that was my scene?"

"I didn't end things because of you, Rora. I ended it because of what we both were getting dragged into. I didn't want to see you lose yourself in all of that. But you—" He pauses, looking conflicted for a moment before continuing, "You were always different from all that Kook shit, and now youre with Rafe fucking Cameron bro” I sighed, frustration bubbling up inside me, and then I raised my voice, the words slipping out before I could stop them. "Then why? Why did you throw it all away? It wasn't over for me!" I could feel my heart pounding in my chest, the sting of everything we’d left behind surfacing in that one moment.

Jj just looked at me, his expression unreadable. I watched him, waiting for him to speak, the silence hanging thick between us. After what felt like forever, he finally broke it. His voice was low but sharp, almost like he was trying to hide something beneath the anger that laced his words.

"You think it was easy for me?" he snapped "You think I wanted to walk away?"

His words hit me like a slap, and for a moment, I wasn’t sure what to say. His eyes burned with something I couldn’t place—regret, maybe, or maybe something deeper, something he hadn’t let me see until now.

"But you did," I shot back, my voice wavering but determined. "You chose this life over us, over everything we had. And now I’m supposed to just act like that didn’t happen?"

Jj’s expression softened for a split second. before he looked away, trying to hide whatever emotion flickered behind his eyes.

Finally, he let out a frustrated sigh, rubbing his hand over his face. "You don’t get it," he muttered, almost to himself. "I wasn’t running from you, I was running from everything else. This whole damn life… I don't want you getting caught in the shit I do." He trailed off, his voice quieter now, like the weight of his words was too much to bear.

I took a shaky step closer, not sure what I was looking for, but feeling the urge to close the space between us. "You could’ve fought for us. You could’ve fought for me," I said, my voice softer now, though the hurt still lingered beneath the surface.

 "I didn’t know how to," he confessed, his voice barely above a whisper.

It was then I realized that maybe, just maybe, we were too far gone. But I still wanted to know—did he regret it? Did he ever want to fight for us, or was it always too late? The question hung in the air, unanswered, as we stood there, both of us torn between the past and the reality of what we had become.

Without a moment’s hesitation, Jj steps closer, closing the space between us until we're face to face. The intensity was replaced with something more sincere as his eyes drift down to meet mine. I can feel the weight of his stare, a silent apology in those deep eyes. My throat tightens, and I look up at him, fighting back the tears that threaten to spill. Slowly, I feel his hand reach out, his fingers gently wrapping around mine, offering a connection I didn’t know I needed.

A distant, foggy voice calls my name. "Rory," it shouts, but I block it out, my focus entirely on Jj. Our eyes lock, and I feel a pull I can’t ignore. He leans in, his hand sliding behind my ear, cradling my head. Just as our lips are about to meet, the voice cuts through, louder and sharper now.

"Rory, what the fuck are you doing?"

The moment shatters. I pull away from Jj, my heart pounding as I turn to see Rafe standing there, fury etched across his face.

"Rafe—I... I can explain," I stammer, but my words fall flat.

Before I can say anything more, Rafe charges at Jj, his fist connecting with a sharp thud. Jj stumbles but quickly fights back, and suddenly they’re locked in a brutal fight, fists flying and bodies shoving each other.

"Rafe, stop!" I yell, panic rising in my chest, but my voice is drowned out by the chaos.

The commotion of their fight quickly escalates, drawing the attention of everyone at the party. Before I know it, a crowd forms around us, their voices rising in excitement and alarm. Rafe has Jj pinned to the ground, his fists raining down on Jj’s face without pause. I can’t stand it any longer.

"Rafe, stop!" I shout, rushing toward him. I grab his arm, desperate to pull him off, but he jerks free with a sharp motion, sending me stumbling backward. I hit the sand hard, the rough grains scraping against my leg and leaving a deep, stinging cut. Cradling my leg in pain, I glance up, only to see Jj’s expression darken with rage.

Jj twists his body, delivering a sharp kick that sends Rafe sprawling onto his back. Climbing to his feet, Jj’s voice thunders, "Don’t fucking touch her like that!"

Rafe, winded and lying in the sand, looks over at me with a mix of anger and guilt, but Jj doesn’t give him a second thought. Instead, he turns to me, his features softening. He kneels down, offering his hand to help me up, but when I try to move, a sharp pain shoots through my leg. Without hesitation, Jj scoops me up into his arms, holding me bridal-style as the crowd parts to let us through.

"There's nothing to fucking see here," Jj snaps at the onlookers, his voice cutting through the chatter as he carries me away.

[cloudmonarch43]

[ID in alt text, repeated below the cut]

My to-watch list is pretty short now and it's not especially satisfying to write about movies while trying not to say too much about what happens in them, plus I barely like Instagram anymore (where these posts are focused), so it'll probably at least be a while before there's another post like this. But never you think that I don't want to talk about movies!! (Oops, I never noticed I wrote the wrong year for Alien. It's right in the alt text because I typed it all first and then copied it down!)

Image 1:

Saw (2004) is a very silly movie that manages to stay enjoyable the whole way through. Aside from a few good bits, I didn't like Saw II (2005). There were too many characters, underdeveloped, so that even in context it just felt cruel to kill them off. I like engaging with the mechanisms of the games, and yeah the point of the games is violence, but the second movie felt like it didn't care about the game part. It made some good moves as a sequel, but the first one was a lot more fun.

Rather than telling me a story, Dirty Dancing (1987) felt like it was telling me about a story. I liked watching the dancing, and I liked the story that was being summarized, so I liked the movie, but it was strange how much of it just felt like information. Even though the plot was a bit convenient, the great variety of relationships made it feel like a genuine world.

The first time I watched I Saw the TV Glow (2024), I didn't know what I was in for; I kind of stumbled home in a daze of delight and sadness. Movies are such a capacious medium and I love it when that potential is actually used. It also feels good to watch something where the queer interpretation is not just a side effect yet it's still abstract and metaphorical.

We're All Going to the World's Fair (2021) is a super effective movie about watching other people's videos. In reviews I saw, I thought people credited it with a lot that wasn't actually there—only a place was set, which the viewer automatically filled. It didn't resonate with me as much, but I think it's cool to be put through the same sort of process as the characters.

[pencil sketch for Dirty Dancing of Johnny and Baby dancing]

Image 2:

Pretty much everything I wrote in my journal about The Sixth Sense (1999) is using it as a comparison to clarify other things, so I don't know what to say about it on its own. I enjoyed watching it.

After that I rewatched some stuff.

2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) is great. It really lets you sink in, and there's a lot to sink into, both visually and conceptually.

Blade Runner (1982) seemed more self-contained and a lot easier to follow this time through. I liked it overall but it's so bleak. I guess it's supposed to make me think about what it means to be human but "either you're a cop or a little guy" is the undisputed thesis statement I heard.

The Thing (1982) remains one of my top favorite movies (which is a list I haven't written, but "I Saw the TV Glow" is on it too). I hadn't even remembered a solid half of the great special effects moments because there's just so many.

Alien (1979) didn't work out as well. I still think it's a good movie, but it turns out a lot of what I liked about it was the suspense that doesn't hold up when I know what's going to happen. I know people love to analyze this movie but it's just not catching me that way.

Challengers (2024) is all about three random people I don't have any reason to care about... plus I don't care about tennis. It's not really my kind of movie. That said, it's just about as satisfying as it could possibly be.

[pencil sketch for 2001: A Space Odyssey of an EVA pod]

Image 3:

Pulse (2001) is really sad. What if the loneliness was never ending! It's a high quality, coherent representation, and then it just exists and there's nothing you can do about it. (Also it definitely should have been called Circuit.)

I watched Happy Death Day (2017) because I love time loops a lot. It didn't give me more than that, but it was easy enough to sit through. I think it could've pushed its concepts further but at least it didn't fall apart.

Of course then I had to rewatch Groundhog Day (1993), which I'd mostly forgotten, and I was delighted to discover that this movie rocks. It's efficient, covering a lot of ground without feeling distant or dense, and it really felt convincing.

Nightcrawler (2014) is brutal, unforgiving, and a great movie. Lou isn't a defeatable villain; he's a concentration. This movie refuses to lie, and that feels good even though the things it's saying don't.

[pencil sketch for Pulse of Ryosuke kneeling next to Harue, who is hugging herself]

[rolandkaros]

idk if this is what you meant but this is what i think: some people's support of wta players is a bit performative djhkdn they think watching women's sports makes you a good person and they want to be percieved that way, so they list a bunch of players they aren't THAT invested in

well, sure, but i think there are a ton of different shades of the core idea. there are definitely performative fans but that's true of almost every sport (every fandom, even), and especially in a place like tumblr where i think there's more of a push for a harmonious collective than places like twitter or instagram.

again i think it's really all about social value. you're far more likely to get called out for ignoring the wta than ignoring the atp. which, to some extend i think is fair, but i also think it suggests that aligning yourself more with the wta than you'd prefer is more about being perceived as neutral than actually being perceived as good. and i think there's even a whole separate conversation in that.

and it's important to point out to that this happens outside of tennis and outside of sports and i don't think it's like...explicitly always a bad thing. even people who are being performative still understand the importance of associating (or not associating) with particular groups. is it disingenuous? sure! but if someone is being performative about their support of the wta, at least that shows they knows they shouldn't be apathetic. and generally i'd say it's a good thing that the "social norm" is engaging with women's sports. i.e. people are already "holding themselves accountable" in a way to the way the landscape of sport is changing. it's no longer acceptable to ignore women's sports.

which does lead to some...frustrating complications. big sports twitter accounts take advantage of women's sports all the time to get clicks, even though it's clear by the vast majority of their content that they don't care. broadcasters bring on under-qualified analysts because they know they need to cover women's sports but they don't have specialized personnel. big journalists publish shitty, poorly researched stories because stock is much higher now than it was a few years ago. as a consequence they drown out the smaller journalists who have covered women's sports for years and actually know what they're talking about.

anyways, that's more to do with the wider landscape of performativity with women's sports, and not so much individual users. no one is going to make any money off of pretending to like the wta on tumblr dot com. which is to say i don't think there's a whole lot of motivation for fans to drastically overstate their interest.

but i will say, if you follow someone for a bit, you can kind of tell if they're really not that interested in wta, in which case it's pretty easy to just unfollow and move on. performativity is annoying but it's not the end of the world for something like small social media accounts.

i think i used to get quite incensed about this, because i've spent wayyy too much time in the 2010s defending women's football on the internet (consequence of the uswnt being considerably more successful than the usmnt lol). but most of these fans don't have truly poor intentions, and i don't really achieve anything by getting upset about their preferences (even if it may be the result of bias). it's easier to curate my own corner of the internet for my own preferences than convince people to post about something they're just not that interested in.

tldr: yeah there are definitely some performative fans but what else is new, there are plenty of much more harmful fans out there and i'm glad we can at least acknowledge that we should care in principle if not in action

[mariacallous]

The war in the Middle East is a laboratory for new means of spreading fake news. Propagandists across the world are watching and learning. This year will see democracy’s biggest test: more than two billion people across 50 countries are expected to go to the polls. And a fair proportion of them will be on the receiving end of disinformation techniques refined in Gaza.

The extent of the lying is breathtaking. The BBC’s Verify unit says it has seen nothing to compare to the ‘volume of dehumanising rhetoric posted during this war’.  Eliot Higgins, founder of the investigative website Bellingcat says the level of disinformation in the Israeli-Gaza war is ‘unique to this conflict’.  The Israel and US based security company Cyabra, which monitors fake news on social media, adds that about 20 percent of accounts participating in the online conversation about the war in the days after 7 October were fake. On social media, X (the bin fire formerly known as Twitter) and TikTok were the favourite sites for disinformation, as you would expect.

The explosion of lying reflects a grim truth: for state and private actors, it has never been cheaper or easier to establish credible sock puppets, and then order bot armies to spread falsehoods.  I could look at horrible  claims that a Palestinian mother was just pretending to cradle her dead baby (see picture above), or that Israelis giving accounts of their sufferings at the hands of Hamas were just actors.

However, to show the extent of the new world of lies I want to return to the story I covered last week: the fake news that an advertising campaign by Zara was somehow mocking or exploiting the war-ravaged people of Gaza. Like the QAnon and Pizzagate conspiracy theories, the story matters more than the usual online rubbish because it was a lie with measurable consequences.

Across the world, pro-Palestinian protestors targeted Zara stores. In the US, Canada, Spain, and Sweden, they vandalised them. A video on social media showed that disgusted customers had thrown piles of clothes in front of the Zara store in Times Square, New York. Or at least so the accompanying propaganda claimed.  The video turned out to be footage of an old protest against another brand.  

As I said at the time, the demonstrations showed the madness of crowds in action. They decided to hate a clothing chain that had done nothing to justify their rage. Zara’s agency shot the ad campaign long before Hamas attacked Israel. No one in the photo shoot resembled a soldier or a casualty of war. The pictures showed a model in a sculptor’s studio posing with a mannequin, which was clearly not meant to refer to the corpses of slain Palestinians

And yet even after Zara apologised for an imaginary offence and withdrew the ads, demonstrators continued to target the company. Only a few days ago, they closed the Zara  store at the Trafford Centre in Manchester.  

But I only told half the story. The truth was that much of the rage was confected.

Cyabra uses machine learning scanners to study social media sites and identify fake accounts. They process scores of clues: whether the account is posting 24/7, whether it is posting in multiple languages. The company scanned X, Instagram, TikTok and Facebook, and noticed that Zara was initially criticized for being oblivious to the war and its victims. But the conversations quickly adopted a conspiratorial tone, and you could guess that someone was raising the stakes by looking at the trending hashtags

What began with the hashtag ‘#BoycottZara’ turned to the false ‘#Zara_is_a_zionist_brand,’ and  the frankly mad ‘#ZaraSupportsGenocide.’

Faced with what it thought was genuine anger, Zara pulled the campaign. The BBC, the Guardian, Business Insider  and scores of other news sites reported the climbdown and treated the allegations that Zara was exploiting Palestinian suffering seriously.

When they did, they missed the role of well-resourced and malicious actors. Cyabra said that 39% of the profiles that interacted with Zara were, in fact, fake.  The bots were also far more active than real protestors, it found.

Bots ‘were prominently pushing the hashtags “#Zara_is_a_Zionist_brand” and “#ZaraSupportsGenocide,” the security firm said. ‘They were actively engaged in conversations about the Israel-Hamas war, making sure to regularly tag Zara and interact with the brand while advocating a boycott.’ They were giving protests against Israel more weight, by turning then into demonstrations against the evils of global capitalism.

Journalists covering the story had no way of knowing this. They and Zara did not have the tech to analyse tens of thousands of social media accounts, and nor did their readers and viewers. Suppose they did. Suppose the media reported that, while there were undoubtedly real people who disapproved of Zara’ photoshoot, almost four out of ten of the accounts attacking the firm were fake, and looked as if they were part of a coordinated influence operations campaign possibly run by Iran or Russia.

Exposure would make all the difference, as would the exposure of any other campaign boosted by malicious actors. If readers suspect a trick, they will be on guard.

It is about to get significantly harder for readers and journalists to realise that they are being tricked. For Gaza is also showing that the quality of the lying is increasing as fast as the quantity of lies.

We are in the very early days of an artificial intelligence (AI) revolution which presages an anarchic future for open democracies. Put simply, the fake news AI creates is more believable. AI can tailor the messages from social media accounts so they appeal to a precise target audience.  Until now, targeting has been a difficulty from propagandists. If they wanted to spread conspiracy theories to, say white working-class men, they needed a different tone and vocabulary than if they were targeting wealthy retirees. A Russian propagandist may well not know how to do that.  

Campaigns to persuade US Republicans to abandon Ukraine need to be in authentic American English not British or international English.  ChatGPT can now translate propaganda into the required dialect in seconds and ensure that it doesn’t sound as if the message was composed in a Petersburg basement.

What applies to words, applies to images. In the past, bad actors creating automated profiles at bot farms had to use generic stock images for profile pictures, or steal a real person’s photo and risk being caught. Today AI image generators give them what they need.

Rafi Mendelsohn, marketing vice president Cyabra, described an exponential process to me. Tactics used to twist elections are applied to war zones, refined, expanded, and then sent back to be used to influence the next political campaign.

What should we do? Can we ban TikTok, because the Chinese Communist Party exploits it? Should Western governments build their own troll farms?  Should the security services monitor social media and issue fake news warnings? It’s not that western democracies do not know how to answer these questions, we barely know how to ask them.

When the security services are warning that by 2025 generative AI could be ‘used to assemble knowledge on physical attacks by non-state violent actors, including for chemical, biological and radiological weapons,’ we are in a new world.  It strikes me as a world that Western democracies with their liberal protections for freedom of speech find strange and baffling, but one in which the West’s dictatorial enemies feel entirely at home.

[symptoms-syndrome]

Last night my big gay crush (S) texted me being pretty vulnerable. Not like, excessively so but he confided in me that he thought he made some folks uncomfortable at a party and felt upset about it.

I comforted him and it felt very. I don't know. Smooth. Easy. He said he felt better talking to me. I didn't feel overburdened or like he was excessively dumping on me or anything.

Would it be silly or inconsiderate to say this feels like a sign he wants something more from us than a FWB relationship? I've been being pleasant and cordial with him because I feel a FWB isn't someone you generally confide in about being upset (unless ofc it's related to what y'all are doing.) But maybe I can be a little more vulnerable. I wouldn't say I'm being fake, because I'm not, I do genuinely really love being around him and feel happy with him. It might just be. A baby step. Telling him I've been feeling down if the time arises where it's appropriate to do so.

I feel really at ease and comfortable with him, which is kind of unusual for me to feel that way so fast. I'm usually pretty guarded.

I said in therapy that it feels like someone should have to sign a waiver to get emotionally involved with me. It still kinda feels that way. I know he has some stuff of his own though, which makes it feel a little easier I think. He's just seemingly got it together a lot more than I do.

Also, a few days ago I posted a mutual aid request to Instagram, forgetting that he followed me there. I was sort of worried about him knowing/finding out that I'm financially disadvantaged because he's very comfortable. But he shared it to his story and stuff. And this was before last night. So I think it's fair to say that he doesn't look down on me too much for it.

[paperstorm]

The others have shown stuff that criticizes the US in some ways but it's mainly just news articles about the death toll in Palestine. For the most part, their posts have been mainly about not spreading hate and stuff like that. Brian has shared stuff about how the US never has enough money to fund domestic things but always has money for war. None of them have actually said that they are firmly pro-Palestine. And in fairness, Ronen has also shared and liked stuff supporting a two-state solution and a ceasefire. He's also shared stuff about how Hamas doesn't represent Palestinians (which is true) and he's liked posts that sympathize with Palestinians. I do think it's something to take into account while still acknowledging that a lot of the stuff he has also shared is problematic. So to just straight up call him genocidal or a war monger like I've seen isn't entirely fair IMHO. So the others aren't posting or sharing anything that Ronen hasn't also shared or posted for the most part. It's just that Ronen is the one that has said the most and has been the most transparent and it's a bit easier to assume that the others are pro-Palestinian based on the few things they have shared and liked

I find instagram stories kinda problematic just for this very issue. The historian in me does not like that there is a whole culture of public figures making often very loud political statements and in 24 hours they're just permanently erased from the historical record and people can spend forever arguing about the exact nature of what the post was or what it said. It seems almost designed to be destabilizing.

[arsenalgbt]

Do we think ice skater Martin would have stuck to Tiktok or Instagram in some way after becoming a viral sensation? I could see him charming the Internet through content and earning the title of the Internet's boyfriend. Aaron finds it easier to deal with the shipping because he's used to it, Martin's shipped with loads of people and is accessible to loads of people. It's different for Kai and Dec though, Kai's not seen as accessible to the Internet, he's a supermodel and other than his weekly bouquets and the animal fundraising links he posts on his stories- that's pretty much all people have in regards to an insight to his life. Dec has always felt kai is exclusive to him but the kaixmartin rumours change that. The fact Martin is an active poster could lend itself to some martindale angst with how often Aaron has to move out of pictures/videos. I'm intrigued by this au

TikTok methinks! hate the app, never ever use it, but gotta be fair that platform brings opportunity (cough by being viral) so deffo TikTok. ig will blow up too ofc~

Martin as the figure skater internet boyfriend? I'm into it~

fuck yeah!!!!!!!!! the exclusivity of supermodel!kai......... I'm thinking... supermodel in the 90s........ kai is the yasmeen gauri of the new generation yes or yes!!! his ig is dusty, all posts are basically PR, his stories are mostly faceless, he doesn't repost his fellow supermodels' stories, yes to the weekly bouquet and animal fundraising links~

but ofc, martinxkai shippers find their way to cut clips from their individual interviews mentioning each other, then posting it on tiktok as a comp LMAOOO

ben is dec and Aaron's teammate. he's being nosy, igniting insecurities in both players lolll (because I am me, I need willo to be here as per; willo is kai's fellow supermodel with dusty ig lol)

imo, the conflict is not fleshed out yet. maybe u can sharpen it up via whyyy why why why don't both kai and Martin want to go public with their relationship? is this universe just as homophobic to football players as our world? whyyyyyyyy . is it something with sponsorship contract? maybe Martin and his on-ice partner, Frida maanum ofc, are each other's beard? maybe Martin and Frida are selling their 'chemistry' for sponsorship? just to ignite ur inspiration~

[anigk]

i'm not writing this to preach or be edgy with some pseudo-intellectual bullshit. i'm a private person, so if anything, this is hard for me to share something so personal for everyone else to see. after all, this will be someone's first impression of me when they click on my profile. but that's the point. that's why i wanna do it. this represents me. not my old posts or pics of myself...they mean nothing. i'm doing this to be true to myself. for my own sanity.

this interlude (the only track i used to skip over when listening to blonde) isn't about how technology sucks. it's about keeping up with appearances, and how our world has come to be represented by these symbols of statuses (i.e. Nikes, instagram profiles, etc). even though these two people have been dating for three years, cuz there is no digital representation of that relationship, it did not exist.

obviously she lets social media control her life. but he's no better. he acts like he’s above it all, like fb is just some dumb thing not worth his time. but if he really didn’t care, why not just add her? why make it a thing?

the whole story seems silly and extreme until u realize social media has fucked w u in exactly the same ways it has fucked w them. it's just not as obvious. the guy is affected too. maybe not in the same way she is, but he’s playing the same game. he judges her, the same way she judges him. he’s still letting fb dictate his actions, even if it’s by refusing to engage with it. the truth is, u can't escape getting affected, whether u want to or not. it’s not just about the people who are obsessed. it’s about how it’s changed the way we communicate and connect on a fundamental level. it's hurt the way we view the world and see the people around us. it's redefined how we exist. for worse.

she hasn't broke up with him because of a request. it's because of a lack of communication. she didn't trust him and didn't know how to tell him that. and he couldn't understand where she was coming from. he couldn't do something so small for the one person he's supposed to do small things for. if they were gonna let a button determine if they would end up together, their relationship was already on its last legs. in reality, they had broken up a long time before.

but what has fb caused? people to miscommunicate...to break apart. it only hits when u experience it urself. and it makes no sense. in a world where communication is so much easier, nearly everyone i've come to know has gotten so much worse at it. i've personally been confused by people's profiles and their virtual behavior. it's made me question their values and has damaged my perception of who they r. but that's not entirely fair...my judgement stems from my own insecurities. i need to be less harsh. only by speaking with them properly can i understand and view them fairly. and i've not been perfect, either. i've been digitally unstable and made people uncomfortable. i've been too messy and dramatic when the time wasn't right. when situations were too delicate and needed more patience and grace. but most importantly, i haven't been able to say the right words and stand up for myself—to fully express how i feel and give comfort to those i truly care for—when it's mattered the most irl. i've tried my best, but i haven't been enough. to myself and to the people most important to me. and social media has played a role in all of my shortcomings. being so online during my adolescence has hurt my real-world capabilities in so many ways. and i'm sure i'm not alone in that. which makes it all the more ironic when people expect u to accept that request. expect u to post on ur story or comment on their stuff. we spend so much time online to "connect" with others, but we've never been worse at handling real connections. there's so much hypocrisy. it bothers me a lot. more than most other people.

that's why i don't use it anymore. social media, of which fb is categorized as. i don't want any part of this. i don't want to add to the miscommunication being on these apps causes, to others and ourselves. i want to become the best version of myself. i want to grow. i owe that not just to myself but also to other people. and being on instagram or any similar app makes it impossible for me to achieve that.

it's not just me—we’ve all let these platforms become extensions of ourselves. we’ve let them dictate our worth, our relationships, our lives. we've killed our ability to be real and connect with others. all to try to impress the world with someone so far removed from our real self. to try so hard to be someone different. to unwillingly compare ourselves and everyone else against each other. it's made us so insecure and superficial.

i've grown up hearing old people shit on social media and ignored them like everyone has. but now that i'm older and more aware, it just hurts seeing these effects on the people u care the most for. real, noticeable effects on people who r naturally so sincere and authentic. people who u live for, who u would give anything to see become the best versions of themselves. people who i don't look down on for being so active online, but who i worry about and just hope r doing what's best for themselves. i don't have the right to judge people without truly knowing them, nor the authority to make them change. i can only judge and change myself. i've been getting hurt and have been aware of it for years. but it's only after seeing the wounds of people i care deeply about when i knew i had to draw the line. when i knew i had enough.‎

it wasn't always so bad. i couldn't have gone thru covid as a kid without all my online friends. i will still keep my account up, only to connect back w my childhood friends once i'm old. but for now all i know is that i wake up to like a hundred texts and a bunch of other notifications. it's so much to process. so much information. i feel phantom vibrations in my right leg because my phone goes off in my right pocket every day for half a decade. i get instant gratification from seeing a reel pop up on my feed or a like on my most recent story. it's like a constant reminder that i exist. that i am important enough to receive something. only a few years ago i wasn't like this.

so yeah, maybe it’s dumb to break up over a fb request. but it’s not really about the request, is it? it's about what it represents. it's about how we’ve let these digital markers replace real connection. it's stopped us from being able to truly live and be happy as ourselves. and until we confront that, we’re just going to keep spinning in circles, chasing validation in all the wrong places.

despite everything i wrote, ik there will be times when confusion can give way to doubt. when i fall short of what i say...what i say i'm all about. that's normal. when people don't have the strength, they just r mirrors of what they see. but i promise to stay strong, and hope u will too. cuz at ur best, u r love...ur a positive, motivating force within my life. and if u ever feel the need to wonder why, let me know, let me know. stay at ur best.

[insomniactalks]

I have about 10 different asks sitting in my inbox regarding the “leaks” for S3, and I finally found some time to address them today. Instead of answering each ask one by one, I’m just gonna address all those concerns/questions in this post. If you are one of the several anons who’s sent me an ask about the “leaks,” and have been patiently waiting for an answer, keep reading! This is the only time I will address the “leaks” b/c I think it’s best to just wait and see what happens at this point. (Typing this up from my laptop, so I apologize for the length of this post...hehe) 

To start, I’m so sorry if you’ve been waiting a while for a reply. July has been hectic for me. Thank you for ur patience! A few things before I start: I won’t tag Ricky and Gina’s ship in the main tag b/c I assume they may not want to read my thoughts on the matter (which is totally fair! LOL) I think I’ll start tagging Gicky instead from now on b/c that’s also a combo of their names and so I can keep my own blog organized in some way. Also, my thoughts on the “leaks” are less from a Portwell stan’s point of view and more so from my thoughts as an English major in undergrad and grad school. I will try my best not to insert my own bias here. I’m simply looking at the story that’s being told on the show and the evidence.  

Yes, I have seen the “leaks,” both the Twitter thread and the screenshots/“script” from back in April/May. And no, I will not share any of that with anyone b/c I promised the person who was kind enough to share it with me that I wouldn’t do that. That being said, lemme get into it! 

Is anyone really surprised S3 would have another semi-formal event given S1′s HoCo episode (1.05) and S2′s quinceñero (2.05)? We all shoulda known S3 would follow that trend, so I’m not surprised by 3.07 apparently being another dance/formal event, “Camp Prom” I believe is the name. What corroborates “Camp Prom” is the actual evidence to back it up. The screenshots for this are actual pics from crew on set while they were filming, which show colorful 70s-themed décor. It’s not just someone’s words that’s taken as truth, there’s legit posts from crew on their Instagrams. All that confirms is that there will be a dance at camp (which seems so fun! Can’t wait to see it.) The only reason the “leaker” was right about that is b/c of the crew’s behind the scenes pics.

The “leaker” claims Ricky and Gina “have a great moment together” in the prom episode and that they “make eye contact across the room” at some point. I can see how one would easily assume this scenario to mean something romantic for Ricky and Gina, but just b/c 2 characters “share a moment” together doesn’t inherently make it a romantic scene. BTW, the “leaker” never claims Gicky “almost kiss” at prom, they only said what’s stated above. There’s a screenshot of part of the alleged script for “Camp Prom” that claims they “almost kiss.” I have several issues with this “script,” starting with the font used. I’ve seen plenty of official scripts from other shows (Riverdale and SPOP in particular) and even from Tim himself. They all have the exact same font and font size (no idea what that font type is called, but all shows/movies in the industry seems to use it. It must be standard practice b/c that font is sorta boxy and spaced out, making it easier for actors to read). Tim’s even shared part of the script for 1.06 before, and the font used is very different from this “script” from 3.07. I’m not claiming Ricky and Gina won’t share a moment in 3.07, I just highly doubt it’s an almost kiss. This “script” goes from Jet and Maddox on stage, to the coat check area where Gina “spills her bag” before her and Ricky allegedly almost kiss. There is no description for what Gina does after her “bag spills.” It just says she and Ricky “almost kiss” immediately after that. That makes no sense. Any person would be fumbling to put stuff back into their bag if everything spills out. This “script” is missing so much context, on top of being the wrong font and font size, that it makes me question it’s legitimacy. Seems pretty fake to me. Also, anyone notice how none of the “leaks” have ever stated anything specifically about Portwell? All these “leaks” seem to be in favor of only one ship (Gicky), yet official releases for S3, such as posters, the trailer, the “It’s On” music vid, etc, have continually presented Portwell as a team. I’m not saying Gina and EJ won’t be dealing with couple drama in S3, of course they will, but I doubt S3 will be the end for them.

One of the anons bring up Channing and Corbin filming Gicky during rehearsals for the musical for the documentary, and EJ possibly seeing that footage as the director. That’s deff a solid theory b/c the show could do that to add more drama. But here’s the problem. If Gina and Ricky are the leads in the musical, they would be playing romantic interests. Just like in S1, EJ will be in the exact same position in S3 where his girlfriend is playing romantic leads with a guy she has/had feelings for. By S1′s finale, EJ accepts Nini’s decision in choosing Ricky and truly lets her go (which is a moment he’s “really proud of” (2.10)). He learns a lesson in S1 about letting someone go and putting their interests before his own. In 1.04-1.06, EJ was still trying to win Nini back and hold on to their relationship, even when she was clearly done. However, thanks to character growth (and a certain someone! *ahem* Gina) EJ does the right thing. What would be the point in having EJ placed in the same situation as S1 again, where his girlfriend and the guy she has a past with are playing romantic leads, and have him go thru that rejection again? With the same other guy (Ricky) no less? There’s no point in EJ learning the same lesson from S1 again cuz he already went thru that. Don’t ya’ll think the writers know this? I think the more likely story that will be told in S3 is EJ having to confront his past insecurities with Nini, and how that affects his present relationship with Gina. The writers may have set up what seems like the same story from S1, but I’m pretty sure there will be a different outcome in S3. Doesn’t make sense to repeat the same lesson of rejection for EJ’s character in S1 in S3. There should be another important lesson to be learned here for EJ, such as someone other than himself actually wanting to “hold onto what they had over the summer” (1.04). Nini couldn’t do that for him unfortunately, due to the feelings she clearly still had for Ricky in S1. EJ was always gonna be a rebound for Nini b/c she was just trying to move on from Ricky over the summer he broke up with her. Gina, on the other hand, waited several months, during which she was actively moving on from her romantic feelings for Ricky, before she even considered being more than friends with EJ. 

That doesn’t mean Ricky and Gina shouldn’t have a convo or two in S3 to clear the air b/t them, and work on rebuilding their friendship. This may very well lead to Gicky sharing moments this season, but I’m not convinced they'll be romantic moments. Every time EJ witnessed or suspected s/t going on b/t Ricky and Nini in S1, he was actually right. While he did NOT handle it in the right way, his suspicions were correct (esp in 1.02 w/ Ricky and Nini sharing a moment on stage/voicemail and even in 1.04 where Nini and Ricky almost kiss the same day she broke up with EJ). Having already gone thru that with Nini and Ricky, why would the show make EJ live thru that again with Gina and Ricky? Unless....there’s a different outcome! (That being EJ seeing Gina and Ricky interact and actually having to confront his insecurities this time instead of just being on the defensive. Who’s to say this won’t lead to more honest conversations b/t Portwell? Better yet, EJ and Ricky having the conversation they never really had in S1, where Ricky really overstepped certain boundaries in EJ’s relationship and Ricky comes to terms with that now. What if Ricky acknowledges his wrongs in the past and chooses to want a more genuine friendship/comradery with EJ this time? Just a thought.)

Last thing, S3 is confirmed to be only 8 episodes. The writers spent 8 episodes in S2 having EJ and Gina just flirt with each other. I doubt Portwell will date and break up (and stay broken up) in the same season they just started dating. They even set up the strong possibility for a Portwell love confession someday b/c of the following allusions to love in regard to Gina and EJ: (2.06) EJ would ask his future self if “he could learn to love anyone after Belle,” then takes a seat right next to Gina [visual foreshadowing]; (2.08) Howie singing, “No lesson could teach me how I could have loved her and make her love me too” as EJ takes care of Gina while she sleeps by placing his Duke hoodie over her; and (2.11) Ricky and Ashlyn singing “Something There,” a love song about 2 ppl unexpectedly falling for each other while Gina and EJ send e/o hearteyes thruout the performance (at least 3 times!). When writing a story, like the writers for the show, you include these subtle/indirect hints, like love in relation to Portwell in S2, in order to bring that concept back up again in a more apparent way. I couldn’t help but notice the set up in S2 for a Portwell love confession, but there’s a clear lack of a set up for an EJ/Gina/Ricky love triangle. By S1 finale, we knew Gina still had feelings for Ricky, hence the somewhat awkward moments b/t them in the dressing room after “Stick to the Status Quo” performance and their hallway convo before “Breaking Free,” which was the writers setting up Gina’s storyline for S2. She was obviously still grappling with her feelings for Ricky, hence the S2 promo posters placing Ricky b/t Nini and Gina b/c he was gonna be an important part of both their stories that season. It was a love triangle -adjacent situation. In contrast, S2 does not set up a Gicky/Portwell love triangle by the finale. The writers have already set the foundation for a Portwell love confession and a long-awaited conversation b/t Ricky and Gina to restart their friendship. I am hoping that happens with Ricky realizing how poorly he treated Gina in S2, apologizing for it, and wanting to be good friends again.

Bottom-line, let’s all stop acting like the writers are gonna fuck it all up just for the sake of drama. EJ and Gina’s stories (both individually and together) have been wonderfully written so far (the writers going as far as paralleling PW’s first moment ever in 1.01- with EJ watching Gina from the wings with mutual respect for her as a performer, to their 2.11 moment- with EJ proudly watching Gina from the wings, tenderly admiring the kind of person she is. See here for gifs!) This show even brought in not one but two different guest stars to help further develop Portwell’s relationship in S2. Just sayin’. 

I see it this way: Gina and Ricky should be having positive interactions again in S3, esp after S2, and I’m hopeful for their renewed friendship again. And, if EJ and Gina don’t have their love confession this season, that’s deff something to look forward to in S4! Let’s face it, PW love confession is on the horizon, and the writers have set it up that way.            

[impishtubist]

I feel like the biggest differences w/Gen Z in comparison to some of the older Generations' works are that they're willing to take the Marauders into different universes as children and write about them in a more contemporary style.

Young/new adult (17-28) and older readers were first introduced to Sirius and Remus as 33-year-old individuals, so it was easier for those readers to write S & R as adults attempting to grapple with their background and trauma and grief than it was to reach back and try to make their Hogwarts years more accessible. I think Gen Z writers are coming in and reclaiming their life experiences as young people growing up with technology and texting and the realities of being Online All the Time in a way that older authors weren't doing at the time. I assume part of that comes back to the development of technology and the schisms that exist between gen x/millennial/gen z readers on that front, but I also think older writers may have been less aware of some of JKR's bullshit, which made it less uncomfortable to stick to canon environments and scenarios.

Barring 'All the Young Dudes', many of the currently popular wolfstar stories take place in non-magical settings (college AUs, sports AUs, etc), and while those aren't exclusively written by the youths™, I think their prolificness has likely been influenced by JKR's shitty behavior; it's a lot easier to divorce those characters from their author's terrible views when you remove them from the world she created. That also plays into how large of a factor the characters' queerness plays in the narratives being planned—and as you mentioned, the influx in fics that feature trans, NB, or genderfluid characters is a great side effect of these shifts.

Also, having spent a fair amount of time reading fics in the fandom, I think there was a bit of a high bar to clear in terms of writing quality early on. There are always posts going around that recommend more "literary" wolfstar pieces, and a fair amount of them tend to skew older (specifically: before 2010). By and large, online communities seem to have embraced the "everyone has to start somewhere" mentality a bit more in recent years than they had then, but I distinctly remember getting comments when I was writing in the 2000s where people would drop in to tell me I had utterly mischaracterized someone or that my grammar was bad. All for constructive criticism, but I do have to wonder if the "flame" reviews forced people to either conform to what people were looking for (literary, stylistic writing), switch to another platform (LJ to ff, or ff to Wattpad, etc), or stop writing altogether.

Nowadays, I think our younger authors have an idea for a fic and just...go for it. They don't always have beta readers (which aren't inherently necessary, but can definitely impact style, structure, and word choice) so they'll post things as they come to them, they've got fan-pages on instagram and tiktok and tumblr where they make textposts about characters using modern slang that get hundred of likes/reblogs—they've found a formula that works for them, and they aren't inclined to change it (see: how many texting fics exist). Beyond that, relying on conversational and colloquial writing means they can process their emotions in real time while writing, in a way that we as older writers definitely could have, but didn't usually. When I was reading fics then, and even rereading some of those fics now, it always seemed as if fics danced around trauma a bit more delicately than some of the popular fics do now.

That's not meant as a slam to younger writers, but I do think young people on the internet these days are FAR more willing to share about their personal trauma(s) online, and when they write their fics, sometimes that's obvious. Older authors do/did it too, but I think it's usually a bit more strategically veiled than younger authors are now. It was a poetic thing, and arguably, not always a good one, considering the way mental illness/saviour complexes could often be romanticized. Young authors now fall into the same patterns, which again, aren't great, but I also think that they're the first to acknowledge their own mental health crises and say it hasn't been a great experience—even in a joking manner.

I could go on about this for DAYS but I've already written you an essay, so I'll leave it there hahahah

Thank you for the essay!!!! I love all of these points. Yes, I have also noticed that the big fics in this corner of the fandom tend to be the non-magical AU ones--fics that essentially follow the plot structure of contemporary romance novels, but just so happen to have characters named Sirius and Remus in them. I mean, any one of those fics could have the serial numbers filed off and be published as an original romance book, you know? Up until now, I was just chalking that up to the popularity of romance novels--I figured that the writers were just replicating the structure of the books like they like to read, but in fanfic form. But you bring an excellent point--it might be more that they're trying to divorce the characters from the world JKR created.

This is fascinating. I'm loving all the meta that's ended up in my inbox today.

[maastrash]

Person A and Person B are friends and neither of them have a date for Valentine’s Day, so they decide to order takeout of some kind and watch a movie together. At some point, hidden feelings are revealed. umm elorcan, obvi, because i am nothing if not predictable 🤪

isa... babe... i swear i actually did start writing this around Valentine's day... but... i am CLEARLY a mess.... please accept my VERY late elorcan present 😳

Valentine's Day Confessions

a/n: surprise i am alive ;)

Elide cursed as she grabbed the steaming hot popcorn bag from the microwave. The decadent buttery scent filled her cozy apartment as she poured it into her favorite mixing bowl. She was about to pour in the m&m’s when she remembered who exactly was joining her tonight - Lorcan. And her friend was not a fan of chocolate. If you asked her, the man simply had no taste.

It was Valentine’s Day and the pair had decided to have a singles awareness celebration. Since their entire friend group was filled with couples they were each other’s only source of company on this dreaded day. Truthfully, Elide despised Valentine’s day. Seeing countless couple posts on Instagram and stupid lovey-dovey shit everywhere only made her more bitter. She hadn’t had a boyfriend in a long time - too long. If she was being honest, she had always thought Lorcan would make a move on her one day. Though at this point, it had been years of banter and flirting with absolutely nothing else, so she had pretty much lost all hope. She would just have to accept that she would forever be in the friend zone, but of course, that was easier said than done.

She settled into the couch with her favorite stuffed animal when the doorbell rang. Lorcan, she assumed.

“It’s open,” she called.

“Elide, I could have been a killer,” Lorcan chastised as he took off his leather jacket and shoes at the front.”

“What killer rings the doorbell?” she shot back.

“Ok fair point,” he said, quickly settling down next to her.

“What do you wanna watch?” she asked, turning to Netflix.

Lorcan shrugged, “Your house your rules El.”

“Lorcan,” she grumbled. “You know I’m too indecisive for this.”

He had the audacity to laugh at her misery, “I know, but it’s funny watching you struggle.”

“I already know no romance movies. I’ve already seen enough lovey Snapchat stories to last a lifetime.”

“Agreed. Did you see all the shit Rowan and Aelin have been posting?” Lorcan asked with a laugh.

Elide laughed too. “Can’t be worse than Lysandra and Aedion.”

Maybe they were just cynical because they were both single, but at the moment Elide didn’t care. It was fun to joke around with Lorcan.

“Let’s watch an action movie then,” Lorcan suggested.

“John wick?” Elide asked, already clicking play.

Lorcan smiled, “Sounds like a plan.”

The movie had barely begun before Lorcan was shifting his massive frame to lay down, placing his head on Elide’s lap.

"Lorcan," she groaned. “You’re heavy as fuck.”

He mockingly gasped, “I’ll have you know I’m on a diet Elide Lochan.”

“It’s your absurd height, stupid,” she whacked him, but he was laughing the whole time.

“You’re warm,” Lorcan whined, sounding much like the five-year-olds that Elide taught every day.

“I have blankets right over there,” she said, gesturing to the basket overflowing with various throws.

Lorcan only stretched his legs out and adjusted himself on her lap. “If you don’t get up I’m gonna sit over there,” she said motioning to the new armchair she recently bought.

“When did you get that?” he asked, finally speaking.

“A few days ago because you literally take up the whole couch when we hang out.” She actually got it for decoration, but bantering with Lorcan was entertaining.

“You’re dramatic Lochan.”

“I’m dramatic?” Elide asked, as she stood. “I’ll show you dramatic.”

She walked to the armchair and plopped down crossing her arms and legs.

She was about to add another dramatic remark, but before she could she felt the chair give way. Suddenly, she was on the floor.

“Ouch,” she mumbled, once she registered the pain she felt on her ass.

“Elide, are you okay?” Lorcan asked, making his way over.

“Yeah I’m fine,” she muttered. “But I am never buying Ikea furniture again.”

In all honesty, it was probably her faulty building skills, but she was not going to admit that at the moment.

She tried to stand but pain shot up her ankle. She had landed on it weirdly, due to her dramatic crossed leg position.

“Wait for me Lochan,” Lorcan said as he carefully picked her up bridal style from the ruins of what once was her armchair.

“I could’ve walked,” she said softly against his chest.

That made Lorcan chuckle. “You were barely standing, El. You would have hobbled at best,” he said gently, placing her on the couch. "Let me get some ice. Your ankle already looks pretty swollen."

“I think it's just aggravated. Old wound,” she tried to say it with a smile, but it probably looked more like a grimace.

Lorcan’s eyes softened in understanding. “Ice won’t hurt though.”

Elide nodded and Lorcan took to the kitchen freezer in search of ice. He returned moments later with a bag of frozen peas wrapped haphazardly in a paper towel. He helped situate her ankle on a pillow so it was elevated and gingerly placed the bag on top.

“Shit that’s cold,” Elide couldn’t help but hiss.

Lorcan laughed softly and Elide smiled. Lorcan’s laugh was one of her favorite sounds. It was rare to see him smile and laugh openly when they were with their other friends, but when it was just them she saw it more often. She liked to think that it was because he was comfortable enough with her to show the real Lorcan.

“That’s the point, Lochan.”

“Get us some drinks, Salveterre,” she chuckled. “There is no better medicine than alcohol.”

“Whatever you say, boss,”

“I have a bottle of wine on the top shelf,” Elide called when she heard Lorcan rustling around.

“Got it,” Lorcan said, returning with a cup of wine. A cup.

“I was too lazy to find the glass,” he said in response to the look she gave him.

Elide stuck her tongue out at him before accepting the cup. “Let’s drink every time Keanu Reeves shoots someone,” she suggested.

“Elide, I think you would throw up if we did that.”

Elide rolled her eyes, “I’m not as much of a lightweight as I was in college, Lorcan.”

He raised a brow at her statement. “We’ll see about that."

As he expected, it had barely been 20 minutes, and Elide was already a giggling mess.

It only took 10 more for her head to fall on Lorcan’s shoulder.

And after another 10 minutes, Elide was onto the honesty.

She had hung out with Lorcan one on one many times, but nothing as intimate as a movie night on Valentine’s day where they were practically cuddling.

“Ok Salveterre truth or dare,” Elide slurred, turning to look at him.

“Elide the movie isn’t over yet,” he said pointing to the screen.

Elide gave him a look and paused the movie, “I’m too drunk to pay attention, plus we’ve watched this movie like five times,”

“Fine,” He laughed, giving in, “I say dare.”

“I dare you,” she said, poking him in the chest, “To kiss me.”

Lorcan almost spit out his wine. “Elide, you are way too drunk to be saying things like that.”

“I’m serious,” she said, setting her wine cup down for emphasis.

“I’ve wanted to kiss you since the day I met you, but you clearly only want to be friends.”

“Elide -”

“I know I’m not your type,” she said, her eyes dropping to the floor. “It’s fine, we can forget about this and blame it on the alcohol. It doesn’t have to be weird between us.”

She felt his hands on her chin, tilting it so they made eye contact.

“I’ve wanted to kiss you since the day I met you too. Elide Lochan, you are smart, kind, and pretty much out of my league in every single way. ”

She felt her cheeks flush at his admission. “Please just kiss me already, Salvettere.”

Without another word, his lips were on hers. Soft and sweet, a perfect first kiss, but she wanted more. She kissed him harder and opened her mouth. He took the hint, his tongue sweeping into her mouth. He pulled her closer, her heart was beating wildly against his.

Elide shifted so she was straddling his lap. She grinded against him and let herself get lost in the way he felt. The way he made her feel.

Lorcan shifted slightly as if he was going to lay her down. It would have been perfect, but Elide’s ankle turned too quick and she grimaced, breaking the kiss for a moment, but that’s all it took for Lorcan to pull back.

“Shit. Sorry, Lochan. I forgot about your ankle.”

“No I’m fine,” she panted breathlessly, trying to pull him back in.

“Maybe we should stop for tonight,” he said, brushing the hair from her eyes.

Elide grumbled, “stupid cock blocking ankle.”

Lorcan laughed again. “I can get you set up in your bed before I head out.”

Elide couldn’t help the pout, “Stay please?” she asked, wrapping her arms around his chest.

He smiled softly. “Anything for you, El.”

They readjusted on the couch so they were facing each other, this time cautious of Elide’s ankle. Lorcan pressed a soft kiss to her forehead and Elide tucked herself closer to his side. It wasn’t long before both of them became drowsy thanks to the alcohol and their heartfelt confessions.

And as Elide began drifting off to sleep in Lorcan’s arms, she knew this is how she wanted to spend every night for the rest of her life.

Tags:   @illyriangarbage // @court-of-fuck-me-daddy // @girlnovels // @julesherondalex // @ifangirlninja // @dreamerforever-5 // @queen-of-wings-and-fire // @rhysanoodle // @jemma-nessian-and-elriel // @books-and-words-addict-blog  // @nightinshadow // @wolffrising // @the-regal-warrior // @dreamingofalba // @abillionlittlepieces // @alitzeldiaz // @kylizzles // @queenmaas // @illyrian-bookworm // @aspillofstars // @b00kworm // @tswaney17 // @girl-who-reads-the-books // @theshadowsinger-and-thefawn // // @perseusannabeth // @sweetlyvillainous // @awesomelena555 // @notyournymphetish // @ladywitchling // @aesthetics-11 // @sjmships // @iammissstark // @illyrianwitchling13 // @moondancer-204 // @sjm-things // @foolsinlovex // @sayosdreams // @welcometothespeaknowworldtour  // @stardelia // @julemmaes // @thewayshedreamed // @texas-shaped-waffle-maker // @keshavomit // @superspiritfestival // @wannawriteyouabook // @verryberriess // @courtofjurdan // @bookstantrash // @sannelovesreading // @ahappyhistorianreader // @cass-nes // @my-fan-side // @junsuichow // @sleeping-and-books // @yumna402 // @lordof-bloodshed // @emcarstairs578 // @gisellefigue08 // @maybekindasortaace // @starborn-faerie-queen // @empire-of-wildfire // @loveofbooksandwine // @sanakapoor // @silentquartz // @a-omgnaomithings-love // @aimee1602 // @jlinez // @creamcheesechicken // @steamedlattes // @sahsahprova // @elriel4life // 

[outerbankspreferences]

Is It Just Me? - Chase Stokes

Is It Just Me – Chase Stokes

 Word Count: 2893

 MASTERLIST

It's been way too long for me to find it this hard Sitting alone, my fingers picking the sofa apart An attempt to distract from the fact that I miss you I wonder if your friends have had to carry you home And stay for the night because they don't want to leave you alone Way before it was fun, it's becoming an issue

I know it's cruel But I kind of hope you're tortured too

 It had been exactly 3 months and 13 days since you and Chase had broken up. You wished it would have been a shock to you, but you had seen this coming. Things with Chase were great in the beginning. He was caring and sweet towards you. You could remember a time someone had cared for you as he had. You always supported Chase with everything he wanted to do with his life. You met him when he had just started out acting, and you were proud to watch his career blossom to the extent it had.

 But had someone told you 6 months ago that you guys wouldn’t be together anymore you would have denied the accusations. 6 months ago, you thought Chase was in love with you.

 Chase had been going back and forth to North Carolina for auditions and eventually got the leading role in the television series. You spent the first month with him and his new cast mate Rudy, having the time of your lives with the other people on the show. The whole cast would go out to different clubs every weekend enjoying spending time together.

 Just a little over 6 months later you were still going to clubs but this time on separate sides of the country. You couldn’t process what had happened in a healthy manner and instead turned to going out with your friends every weekend to keep your mind off things. It always ended the same, one of your friends dragging you up the stairs of your once shared apartment because you were too drunk to do it yourself. They had grown accustomed to the weekend ritual of getting you sleep wear and a bucket for the morning.

 Then you would wake in the morning, puking the nights content in the bucket popping Advil for the headache and dragging yourself to couch, throwing on some stupid movie that you wouldn’t be able to watch anyways. Instead, you would pick at the loose strings of the sofa thinking of all the times you spent in the apartment with Chase.

 Tell me, does your heart stop at the party when my name drops? Like you're stood at the platform when the trains cross Are you hurting, yeah you must be Or is it just me? Tongue-tied, screaming on the inside When I say that we broke up and they ask why Are you crying in the shower like a freak? Or is it just me?

 As you sit picking away at the sofa, you mind wanders to Chase. You still follow everyone on Instagram, and you were still good friends with Rudy, so you could see everyone’s stories. Rudy had been the only one to keep in touch with you, which surprised you because he and Chase seemed to be such good friends.

 You wondered if Rudy ever asked about you to Chase, and then you wondered what Chase’s reaction would be. Would his heart be in his stomach at every mention of your name, or would he simply shrug like you guys had never been more then distant friends?

 You sat wondering if Chase ever thought back to the day at the airport. The way he let you walk through security with no more then just a side a hug you would give a sibling. Wishing you a good flight and see you later before leaving. He hadn’t even waited for you to board the plane.

 There were so many things you had wanted to say to him. You want to tell him you loved him, that you would fight for him. More so you wanted him to fight for you, for the years you had spent together. To fight for the promises he made to you, the ones you made together and the ones to come. You wanted to apologize for not being enough, but you couldn’t find the right words, so you watched him walk out of your life.

 I heard a rumor you've been spending some time With that blonde girl that you work with and I know she's exactly your type And my miserable mind's running wild with the picture Or are you there by yourself, dialing, redialing my number? And I'm calling your mother, spilling tears on my jumper again The way I am

I know it's cruel But I kind of hope you're tortured too

 1 month later, Chase’s mother, Jennifer, had called you because she had seen the announcement on Instagram. The two of you had been close while dating Chase considering how close he was with her. Your mother lived down south, and you didn’t get to see her that often, so Jennifer was a close second.

 You had heard rumors from Drew and Rudy about Chase and Maddie hanging out together more, and it didn’t come as a shock to you. In the last bit of your relationship, you played second fiddle to her on multiple occasions. “It’s probably nothing, it because they have scenes together.” Rudy would make excuses over facetime when he watched your face drop at the mention of her name. “Yeah, you’re probably right, nothing to get worked up over.” You responded in a less then convincing tone, “she seemed super cool the couple of times I met her.” “Yeah she is. I think under different circumstances the two of you could have been friends.” He encouraged.

 When the nights started to get cold in LA again you found yourself struggling to sleep. It was at these times you would reread old text messages and look through old pictures of the two you. You knew it wasn’t healthy, but you weren’t ready to move on. Chase had extra time to mourn the lose of the relationship while you were still grieving. It was on these cold nights alone in the apartment you shared that you began to wonder if he was thinking about you. Was he sitting next to her thinking about you? Was he wondering whether he should call you or just delete your number?

 Tell me, does your heart stop at the party when my name drops? Like you're stood at the platform when the trains cross Are you hurting, yeah you must be Or is it just me? Tongue-tied, screaming on the inside When I say that we broke up and they ask why Are you crying in the shower like a freak? Or is it just me?

 It was early in the morning in North Carolina and Chase was sitting on the patio of his shared apartment with Rudy. The sun was just starting to rise in the distance as he found himself restless yet again. He had been awake for about an hour just laying in his bed when he finally decided to get up. He was careful not to wake the sleeping girl next to him. She felt different next to him compared to you. When the two of you slept together you always liked to be the big spoon. Chase let you, finding comfort being wrapped up in bed next to you. Maddie was different, she preferred to lay her head on his chest, letting the sound of his beating heart lull her into sleep.

 Not soon after Rudy came on the patio too, and Chase cursed him for being a night owl. “Not tired?” Rudy asked pulling out the bong they kept under the table. “No, and I didn’t want to wake Mads’” Chase spoke up tossing Rudy the lighter next to him watching the blonde inhale the smoke.

 “I can’t stop thinking about her.” Chase finally spoke up, keeping a hushed tone just in case. “Oh yeah?” “I shouldn't have left her like that. It wasn’t fair to her I just didn’t know what to do.” Chase explained and Rudy didn’t need to be a love doctor to know he was talking about you.

 “It’s been 2 weeks, she’s okay.” Rudy explained and Chase gave him a confused look. “When you guys broke up, I stayed in touch with her. She was mine friend too, and I felt bad that we all sort of dropped her when you guys broke up.” Chase nodded his head in understanding but was still jealous that Rudy got to talk to you. “Why did you break up with her? Not that I’m judging, I just thought things were going good between the two of you.”

 It was Chase’s turn to have a hit from the bong while he thought of his answer. “Shit man I don’t know. Things just feel different with Maddie then they did Y/N. I didn’t mean for it to happen, but it did.” “Are you sure you’re not feeling too much as an actor oppose to being a person. Sometimes having a love interest on show can be different and confusing.” The blonde tried explaining to him but even he saw the demise of the relationship before Chase start acting with Madelyn. “Do you think she’ll ever forgive me?” Chase asked looking at Rudy and he could tell by the look in his eyes that it was doubtful. “You hurt her man. I think maybe one day, but not right now. I think right now she’s just trying to figure out how to do this without you.” Rudy could see the few tears in Chase’s eyes, and he knew that this wasn’t easy on him ether.

 Chase got up but before leaving he spoke one more time. “If you talk to her again, just tell her that I never meant to hurt her the way I did.” Chase still wasn’t sleepy but the effects of the marijuana did aid in his problem, so he finished off with a shower. He turned the water to steaming hot and then got in. He let the water soak his hair while he wondered what you were doing right now. It only took a few more minutes for the tears to start. Chase stayed another hour in the shower wondering if he made the right decision.

 'Cause this would be one whole lot easier God, I know that's selfish but it's true If underneath some calm exterior You're all fucked up too

 The first few months of quarantine had been rough on you working from home. You also felt alone all the time but seeing Chase’s Instagram post sent you spiraling down another unhealthy path. You had just started to get better. You weren’t drinking as much, and you had let your friends set you up on a group date. You knew you weren’t ready for another relationship just yet, but you also couldn’t hide in your apartment for the rest of your life.

 You had also been talking to Rudy a lot more. He had been your biggest support through all of this. He had flown back to LA a couple weeks ago to help you move to a new apartment. You figured if you were going to move on you had to move from the place you spent the most time with Chase. It was bittersweet because not only did you have good memories at the home with Chase, but those memories extended to your other friends as well. Rudy had ensured you that you would make knew memories in your new place.

 But when you woke up on June 14, 2020 you almost had a heart attack. It had been 3 months and 13 days to the day, and he had already moved on. Now you were stuck trying to grabble with the emotions you were feeling. In some messed up way at first you didn’t want him to be happy. You wanted him to hurt the way you did, but you knew it wasn’t right. There was a small part of you that was happy that he was now happy.

 Then you were reminded that you owed Chase his half of the damage deposit. Rudy had told you they all moved back to LA and were waiting for season one to come out. You debated on just giving the money to Rudy for him to pass along, but you also wanted to face Chase, to show him that you were now okay even it was a lie.

 You took the latter of the chooses and sent him a text. (Y/N) It’s Y/N, I have your half of the damage deposit from the apartment. I can drop it off or you can pick it up if you want. You stared at the text message for fifteen minutes before sending it. It only took five for him to answer and you dashed to look at the phone. (C) Oh shit I forgot about that. I mean if you want to keep it, that’s fine. You scowled at the text. You didn’t need or want his pity money. (Y/N) I’m fine without it, if your busy I can send it with Rudy the next time he’s here. (C) Okay, no that’s fine I can come by today and get it just air drop me your address. You did just that deciding against messaging him back.

 Chase’s heart fluttered a little when he saw your name come up on his phone. He hadn’t heard from you in months, and he assumed it was going to be about the post on his Instagram. He made the decision that Maddie made him the happy he wanted to be and left you. He had just gotten back in town when you told him about the deposit, and he didn’t mind letting you keep the money. It was the least he could do after everything he put your though. His heart sank when you declined his offer but lite back up when you offered for him to come over.

 Tell me, does your heart stop at the party when my name drops? Like you're stood at the platform when the trains cross Are you hurting, yeah you must be Or is it just me? Tongue-tied, screaming on the inside When I say that we broke up and they ask why Are you crying in the shower like a freak? With only cigarettes for company? Are you crying in the shower like a freak? Or is it just me?

 He honestly thought of this as his chance to apologize for everything that happened. You didn’t deserve for him to treat you like that, and he owed you an explanation. He drove over to your house, white knuckled the whole way. You lived in a small, gated apartment building and he remembered Rudy telling Maddie B. about it. He remembered Rudy saying how excited you were for a new place, and he wasn’t sure if Rudy was just saying that to upset him. Every time Rudy mentioned something about you it always made his heart sink underground and he was reminded about the way he treated you.

 Chase started to walk up the stairs to your apartment once you buzzed him in but to his surprise you were waiting outside on the step. You looked tired and had lost weight which worried him because you were small to begin with. “Hey.” He spoke not really knowing what else to say. “Hi.” You said and he could hear how sore your voice sounded almost like you had been crying. You were smoking, which was something new, but he figured this was just as stressful for you as it was him You handed him an envelope with his name on it. “Uh, I cleaned the whole apartment, and nothing was broken so we could all the money back. Your half is in there, so I just need your key to give to the landlord.” You explained looking at Chase. He pulled his keys from his pocket fumbling with the ring.

 “Y’know, I never meant”- “Please don’t” “Please don’t want?” Chase looked at you confused. He thought you wanted an apology. “I can’t listen to it Chase. I know it’s mean, but I’m not ready to hear you apologize. I’m just starting to get better, and I don’t need you to set me back again.” You explained looking him the eyes. He flinched when you said again. He handed the key back to you. “Thanks, I hope everything works out. I’ll make sure to watch the show.” You smiled at him and he didn’t realize how much he missed seeing you smile. He returned the smile before turning on his heels to leave. “For the record Y/N, you weren’t the only one to get hurt in this.” And it was your turn to flinch at his words. “I guess grief looks better on some people.” And with that you escaped back into your apartment sliding down the door letting out a silent cry. What you didn’t know was that Chase was going back to his car to the same thing.

TAGLIST:

@drewstarkeysbitchh @taylathornton @jjmaybankzz @lemur46

[nbrook29]

💞 My ultimate Sobbe fic recs 💞

Recently, I have gone through Robbe/Sander tag on ao3 and I decided to compose a list of fics that are absolute gems for me. A few disclaimers first:

✔ I didn’t include works in progress (WIPs), however I did include fics that are only on tumblr

✔ the order of the fics below is random

✔ this is the list of my personal favorites so if your favorite fic is not on the list it doesn’t mean it’s bad or that I consider it bad - we just vibe with different things :)

✔ if there’s a fic on this list that you decided to give a shot and loved it, please remember about leaving a comment under it to let the author know that

✔ I’ve been trying to add the “read more” thingy but it doesn’t show, I’m sorry, I know long posts are annoying af

under 1k

we’re keeping it simple by noobishere | G

Summary: Sander comes over unannounced and attacks Robbe’s very person (a.k.a the one where Sander teases Robbe on Eenvoud)

This is a guaranteed mood lifter. It’s short, sweet, to the point, and oh so funny. The banter. And I’d die to see that in the show. 

1k - 5k

Fizzy Colas by Foxsake5 | M

Summary: Let’s say this is a clip (hopefully not as short as the standard 1:40 of this season) with Sander as the main on a ‘bros night out’ 🍻

This author is my queen/king alright? They take a simple idea and turn it into the most lovely/cute/soft story. This fic is exactly that. Sobbe’s chemistry here is out of this world and the banter is to die for.

high for this by flowersmaze (@bowieskam) | G

Summary: In which Sander remains a Flirt™ and in love with Robbe even when he can’t feel his face after a medical procedure

The summary says it all. Loopy Sander is the cutest and funniest thing.

Pull Me from the Dark by TheOceanIsMyInkwell (@theoceanismyinkwell) | T

Summary: Sander discovers that Robbe has recently been prescribed antidepressants, and Robbe opens up to him about the night he almost stepped off the bridge. Only love will show how much they’ve grown and pull them through.

This time, the boys talk about Robbe’s mental state which is unusual in fics. This oneshot is communication 101. And this line is just 👌🏻 “But after the dust of their first kiss and their first vows of commitment settled around them, Robbe took a look at the space in which he floated and realized, somewhere along the line, that finding the love of your life doesn’t fix you.”

diminuendo by noobishere

Summary: Waking up feels like an ordeal. His eyes are heavy, arms a dead weight, he isn’t sure if his limbs are even in the right places, but eventually, Sander comes to. (a.k.a a take on how Sander fairs after Robbe left for school.)

Sander’s POV after Dinsdag 7:27. It’s a great insight into his headspace during that time. This could be a scene in the show because it fits so well.

you’re wonder under summer sky by nothingbutniall | M

Summary: Two city boys go camping. What could go wrong? (Everything, apparently.)

Those boys are a chaotic mess okay? They’re such dorks. This fic has the best kind of grumpiness there is and sobbe is written so in character here.

if we can make it through december (maybe we’ll make it through forever) by nothingbutniall | G

Summary: Robbe and Sander at the Christmas market.

Can you imagine those two dorks at the Christmas market? Well you don’t have to anymore because this fic is everything you need and more. And this line “Couldn’t,” Sander sulks. “You can’t hold hands properly with mittens on.” makes me go all gooey inside every.single.time 😍

A New Sunday Feeling by Foxsake5 | M

Summary:  Sander before Robbe: Ugh, Sundays 😒 Sander after Robbe: 😏🥺🥰

The way this author writes sobbe’s intimate moments is just pure talent. They have such way with words.

memories painted with much brighter ink by nothingbutniall | G

Summary: Saint Nicholas is the perfect excuse for an evening of gifts and banter with the flatshare. (Basically all five of them being cute together, and then Robbe and Sander being cute with just the two of them.)

This is the perfect fic for an October evening, when Christmas is just around the corner and you’ve just made yourself a cup of coffee and want to read some heart-warming well-written christmassy fluff. 

5k - 10k

Let’s Dance by msleviss (@sander-driesen) | G

Summary: Robbe and his friends go to a club to check out Amber’s DJ cousin.

THIS PERSON PREDICTED DJ SANDER Y’ALL. And Robbe thirsts over him. And there is an instant connection. And Robbe dances. And it’s so cute.

video phone by tokyometropolis (@luludemauryyy) | E

Summary: AKA OH MY GOD, THEY WERE QUARANTINED…except not together, because life is cruel. Thankfully it’s 2020 and when Robbe has an…er…intense dream about Sander in the middle of the night, all he has to do is press one button and Facetime him about it. Thing is…sometimes FaceTiming isn’t enough.

Look. I get that smut fics are not everyone’s cup of tea. And that’s totally fine. But. If you’re looking for a well-written smut that’s in character and where you can feel the love between the characters, this is it. Hands down. Sorry not sorry 💁🏼‍♀️

10k - 20k

our camp of dreams by robbesanderx (@robbesdriesen) | M

Summary: a summer camp!AU where robbe and sander are both co-counselors

Misunderstandings lead to pining. Teenage angst at its finest. I really like camp stories, it’s my thing.

Falling For You by silver_etoile (@azozzoni) | T

Summary: Robbe only knows one thing about football: that Sander Dreisen is the hottest player on the FC Utrecht team. When Jens drags him to a match, the last thing Robbe expects is to meet someone so perfect, and it’s all he can do not to mess it up, but will he succeed?

Sobbe in a different setting with a bit different dynamic yet still having that special something. It’s a nicely written story of the development of their relationship, first meeting, falling in love, ups and down, all the best things in fics. And Sander as a soccer player is a pretty 🔥 concept (and I think Robbe agrees).

This isn’t our first time around by noobishere | E

Summary: One moment they are in the kitchen of their shared apartment, the next, they’re in this strange but familiar room.(a.k.a the au in which they accidentally go hopping through multiple universes)

The universe takes matters into their own hands and shows those silly boys that they are meant to be. Sign me up for the ride.

Coffee and Croques by peaceoutofthepieces (@peaceoutofthepieces) | G

Summary: Sander works at the on-campus coffee shop with Eliott, and he might just have a crush on the cute boy in the brown coat.

I’m a sucker for coffeshop fics. There is just something so good about them. This one is the coffeshop!AU that sobbe deserves. Oh the pining, and the secretive looks, the silly boys, and a pinch of Elu. Me likey ☕

The finest of the meadow by allforyoumylove | M

Summary: The universe brings two lonely boys together in a flowering meadow. They fall for each other fast and hard among delicate daisies, warm summer breezes, and shooting stars.

This is magical. My comment on the work was “So soft, so beautiful, so THEM, ugh.” and I MEANT that. This is just the right amount of sweetness. This is a must read. I’m not messing around. 

two side of the same coin series by MajorAccent (@acespaceacepilot) | E

Summary: the valleys and mountains of sander’s bpd

How the boys handle Sander’s ups and downs. Robbe being the best boyfriend ever. I love how good he is for Sander, being there for him, not treating him like a baby, and not controlling him. How much he tries to make it at least a little bit easier for him. If you don’t want to read explicit stories, at least give the first part a try since it’s not E rated. 

Zaterdag 9:58 by Foxsake5 | M

Summary: What happened after the croissants dropped to the floor 🥐🤭💕

I meant it when I said Foxsake5 has great way with words. Every single piece of theirs is just “chef’s kiss”. This fic is a definition of a domestic fic. Oh, and it happened. Totally. It’s my headcanon now.

its an unrequited love by eggsntoast | G

Summary: Sander works part-time at a museum every Sunday. Robbe is a frequent visitor.

A Sander POV fic. I was sold from the beginning. The development of their relationship here is so cute, and they’re being so stupid with their pining instead of just talking to each other and you just want to shake them but at the same time you’re rooting for them so hard. Oh and did I mention pining?

20k+

Jij Verliest series by ravenbrenna09 (@djsander) | M

Summary: For the past three months, Robbe’s life—and what it once was—had been stripped away and rearranged. Now, if anything, his life had become a bit repetitive: homework, stream, ignore Thomas’s Instagram, repeat. But one Friday evening, Robbe meets a hurricane in the form of a platinum-haired tattoo artist who just might show him everything that he’s been missing.

This is a long series okay? But oh so worth it. It’s captivating and you don’t want to stop until you finish. And once you finish you’re sad it’s over even though you’ve just spent 8 fucking hours reading it. It’s amazing. But you probably know that because it’s quite popular (rightfully so). The best thing is that you expect it to go bad halfway through because it’s difficult to keep the quality on the same level in a fic that long. But it doesn’t.

Visitations by lucidpantone (@lucidpantone) | E

Summary: Does Robbe and Sander’s relationship survive into adulthood. This fic takes place in two simultaneously timelines: the past and the present.The present occurs in one entire day. Both timelines are completely out of chronological order. Everything is in clips.You can be dropped in at anytime of the day in any timeline. So clip by clip you will need to piece together what happen to Sander & Robbe and why the present looks the way it does and what happened in the past that got them there.This love story is a journey. So be prepared.In the words of one of our Even’s. It’s a complicated love story between complicated people.

This is not a regular fic. The author put so much thought into it, there are so many gems, so many little things that you have to pay attention to because it.all.matters. And there is not one interpretation. Don’t you just love when a story forces you to think and use your brain? Cause I do. Not gonna lie: this story hurts, and like the author says themselves, it’s a journey. But oh my god get in because it’s amazing. And the ending is just sjsjsjsjsddhdhsdsgdsg 🤯

the night we met by themoongirl (@dearsander) | T

Summary: Robbe Ijzermans has a brain that won’t let him sleep, a chest that feels far too heavy and thoughts that never stop.During his first year of college he meets Sander Driesen. Robbe finds what he never went looking for.

A college AU. This fic is a journey of pain and fluff and humor. It has awesome friendships. And sobbe falling in love. And liminal spaces. I read it a while ago so I don’t remember it as well as the others but you know what? I still remember that it was great and I’m lowkey happy I don’t remember it that well because now I can go and read it again. 

The Stars Look Very Different by @peaceoutofthepieces 

Summary: Robbe is bored. He’s bored of listening to his friends talking about girls, and his other friends making out, and no one ever doing anything. He’s tired of having to put in all the work, of making his own fun. He’s tired of feeling nothing so he doesn’t have to feel like nothing. His party stunts are pushing the limit, his thrill seeking beginning to worry even his friends, and his carelessness is toeing the line of dangerous.

He’s a little tired of being ‘dangerous’, too.

Sander may or may not have a crush on the older boy with the apparent death wish. He wouldn’t mind a little danger.

Once I started reading this fic, each day I was waiting for an update at the edge of my seat which was a feeling I expected from s4 that did not deliver. TSLVD definitely delivered. My favorite sobbe social media AU

Ziggy Stardust Series by skamsnake (@skamsnake) | M/E

A collection of fics taking place throughout the season. Most of them are E rated so be aware of that but it’s a really cool mixture of fluff and spice *fans myself*

[duskholland]

Say Goodnight | Harrison Osterfield

Summary ↠ you and Harrison broke up before he left to chase his dreams in Hollywood. With 5,000 miles between you, you’re both struggling to adjust to life without the other; exes to lovers; prompt: “why did you call me at 2 in the morning?”

Warnings ↠ angst with a happy ending, a breakup, one curse word?

Word Count ↠ 2.7k

A/N ↠ I miss Harrison. A lot. And I haven’t written enough for him, so...here ya go! This is definitely inspired by Ariana Grande’s song goodnight n go, which never fails to hit me in the feels (listen to the version from her live album... it’s magic).

This is also my fic for @t-holland2080​‘s writing challenge! Thanks so much for hosting such a fun challenge Sammy - I hope you enjoy this :)

(a repost because tumblr decided to block me out the tags lmao)

You didn’t think it was possible to cry this much.

Harrison’s standing in front of you, glistening tear tracks running down his rosy cheeks. His eyes shift over your face, guiltily running the lines and curves of your cheeks and your forehead, trying desperately to stay away from your eyes, because you both know that seeing the heartbreak reflected in his icy blue gaze will be too much. Your chest hurts and you’re shaking, but you know that everything he’s said is true. You know that breaking up is for the best.

But that doesn’t make it hurt any less.

“I still love you,” Harrison tells you quietly. He rocks back on his feet, his teeth grazing his lower lip before he adds, “I’ll always love you, Y/N. The timing just…”

“The timing isn’t right,” you finish. With shaky hands, you reach up behind your neck and your fingers fiddle with the clasp of the necklace Harrison had draped around you, all those months ago. He makes a small sound of objection as the chain falls heavily into your hands and you hold it out in front of you. “Keep it,” you urge. You finally let yourself meet his eyes, and you try to stay strong as you grab his hand and push the chain into his palm. “So you don’t forget about me whilst you’re off being a movie star.”

Harrison reluctantly pockets the chain, his eyes lingering on the solid curve of the H. “I could never forget about you, Y/N.”

It’s not fair. It’s not fair that the only way Harrison can pursue his dreams is 5,000 miles away, across the Atlantic in America. It’s even more unfair that you can’t go with him because you’re enrolled in university in London. But worst of all, neither of you signed up for a long-distance relationship when you first began dating, and now you’ve had to come to the mutual, heartbreaking decision that breaking up is going to be easier than stringing out a virtual relationship together. It doesn’t matter that you love Harrison more than you’ve ever loved another person, nor that he holds you so closely to his heart that he’s certain you’ve somehow intertwined yourself with his soul: long-distance is too much, and you both think you’ll be too busy to maintain your relationship. Neither of you want to sit by and watch your relationship break down.

So breaking up is simpler, supposedly.

“You should go,” you find yourself saying, swallowing down the lump in your throat. Your hand rests on your front door knob, the cool brass feeling icy against your warm skin. You use your other hand to sweep beneath your cheeks, trying to stop the endless flow of tears from your eyes. “Don’t want you to miss your flight, Haz.”

He runs his hand through his hair, a grimace spread across his face.

“I- Are you sure this is the right choice?” He asks, echoing the words you’ve both been saying for days.

You shrug helplessly. “I don’t know,” you admit. “But I know that I can’t stand here waiting for you to walk away any longer.” You release a deep breath. “Just go, Harrison. Please.”

And he looks like he really wants to stay. His feet twitch, as if he’s about to push his way back into your flat and throw himself down on the sofa like he’s done a thousand times before. But his eyes pass over your tearful, heart stricken face, and he finally sighs, slipping his hands into his back pockets as he manages a weak smile.

“Goodbye, Y/N,” he says softly, his lips curving around the words with ease. The way he says your name so fondly causes the pain in your chest to crack and expand.

“Bye, Harrison.”

And then he turns, slowly, and you watch as he drags his feet down the corridor. Harrison pauses when he reaches the staircase, one hand on the door as he casts his eyes back towards you. Your mouth twitches into a smile instinctively: the sight of his face, his loose blond curls, and his friendly smile never fails to make you feel warmer - even now, as he walks out of your life, taking a piece of your heart with him.

You raise your hand in a final wave, and then Harrison steels himself and walks through the door at the end of the corridor, leaving you standing alone in your doorway, a lump in your throat and a weight hanging so heavily in your heart that you know you won’t be forgetting him any time soon.

[-----]

Life without Harrison is hard.

Before you’d started dating him a year ago, you hadn’t believed love could feel so fulfilling or right. But then you’d stumbled into him at Tom’s birthday party and you’d immediately hit it off, and everything had changed. You think it would be hard not to instantly fall in love with Harrison: he’s charming, witty, and he carries such a bright light in his eyes that he had you hook, line, and sinker within the first ten minutes of your conversation.

As you try to move on, you find Harrison haunting your every move. You open Instagram and you see his posts and stories staring you right in the face, broadcasting his life out in LA with his new friends and castmates, and it stings. When you strike out and find yourself in the pub with Sam, all you can think about is how you used to frequent the place with him, and your eyes find the corner booth you’d used to sit in, your figure usually curled up in Harrison’s lap. You can almost feel the presence of his slender, delicate fingers wrapped around your waist as you gaze longingly at the booth.

And the most frustrating part of it all? Harrison seems fine. He seems completely unbothered, which just serves to twist the knife further into your chest every time your thumb hovers over his contact photo, or you start writing out a lengthy, emotional text. You’ve heard nothing from him, and it makes you question everything you’d thought you’d had together.

Everything changes one Wednesday night, around six weeks after Harrison had left.

You’re woken up by the loud, shrill ringing of your phone. You try to ignore it at first, groaning as you roll over on your side and try to press your head into your pillows, but it just keeps going, and it seems to rattle louder against your skull the longer it prattles on. So, after releasing a stream of your best expletives, you roll over and snatch it off your bedside table, accepting the call before you’ve even had time to check the caller ID.

“Hello?” You croak, clearing your throat immediately as you hear the fatigue hanging heavy in your throat.

“Y/N.”

Suddenly you’re wide awake.

“Harrison?!” You exclaim, sitting bolt upright. You bring your knees to your chest as you pull the duvet around you, trying to hide beneath the warm sheets as if they’ll protect you from the way that hearing his voice unleashes an onslaught of painful emotions. “What’s going on?”

Harrison doesn’t reply for a few moments, but merely the sound of his level, familiar breathing is enough to bring tears to your eyes. You try to push them away as your heart races in your chest, so many emotions flying through your heart that it feels consuming.

“Uh, nothing,” he eventually says softly. “Sorry. It doesn’t matter.”

“Then why did you call me at 2 in the morning?”

The sound of his chuckle is forced, but it’s so lovely to hear him again that you can’t stop yourself from smiling. “Oh, I didn’t realise it was so late,” he says, “‘m sorry, love.”

“It’s okay. I missed your voice.” It slips out before you can really stop it.

“I missed your voice too,” Harrison admits, voice thick. “I miss you so much, Y/N.”

You swallow deeply, running your fingers over the crinkles of your duvet as you think. Your mind runs slowly, clouded with your fatigue and your emotions, and you really don’t know how to take this all, but you know that hearing his voice makes you happy - more happy than you’ve felt in weeks.

“I miss you too,” you mumble down the line. Your fingers ache from how tightly you’re gripping the phone. “How’s LA?”

Harrison chuckles, and you hear a noise in the background as if he’s climbing into a bed. You can almost imagine him: his lanky legs spreading out over the sheets, a low groan slipping past his lips as he stretches out his arms and back. That lazy pink smirk hanging freely from his perfect lips. The image burns into your eyelids.

“LA is mad,” he tells you honestly. “It’s a whole different world over here, Y/N. It’s… It’s exciting, but it’s so different to London. I wish it would all slow down.”

“You’re really busy then?”

He hums lightly. “Yeah. I’m either on-set or doing fittings or rehearsals.”

“Are you having fun?”

Harrison takes a while to ponder your question.

“Yes,” he says, bringing a swell of tears to the front of your eyes. “But I’d be so much happier if you were here too.”

You try to disguise your sniffles, but you’re almost certain he can hear them. “Well… I’m not,” you manage. “I’m glad it’s giving you everything you wanted.”

There’s a very awkward, very thick silence that envelops the line, and it makes you shift uncomfortably in your sheets.

“I should let you sleep,” Harrison says, guilt lacing his words. “I’m sorry for waking you up. I shouldn’t have called you.”

“Oh, okay.” Your free hand clenches into a hard fist as you try to stop your lower lip from wobbling. “Don’t worry about it, Haz. I’m always here if you want someone to talk to.” A small smile flicks out across your lips. “Doesn’t matter what time it is.” I love you - those three unspoken words hang between you. You can feel them, surrounding you, smothering you, and you can almost hear them on the tip of Harrison’s tongue, so you jump in to add, “Goodnight, Harrison,” because you really can’t bear to hear them.

You can feel his reluctance, but you release a deep breath as he says, begrudgingly, “Goodnight, Y/N.”

You hang up quickly, your fingers trembling as you toss the phone down the bed. The blank screen stares at you, taunting you, and you’re overcome with such a strong sense of regret that you almost reach out and call him back. Your body craves him - his soft, melodic voice, his gentle words, his love.

Your phone starts ringing, and you snatch it back up, eyes taking in the image of Harrison’s contact photo as he flashes over the screen. You accept it without a second thought.

“I don’t want to say goodnight yet,” Harrison says immediately, words falling into one another. “I don’t want to stop talking to you, Y/N. Can we please keep talking? Just for a bit.” He pauses, his voice breaking. “I miss you.”

The relieved smile on your face shows no sign of budging. “I don’t wanna say goodnight either, Haz.”

[-----]

It’s a bad habit, but for the entire time Harrison is away, you end up on the phone with him each evening. The first few times had been fairly spontaneous, but soon it becomes a habit: every day, as Harrison finishes filming, he gives you a call and you have a long, rambling conversation. It breaks up your sleep, but you grow so used to it that you start setting an alarm at 1.50am just so you can grab a cup of tea and wake yourself up before he calls.

It’s definitely inadvisable to stay so connected to your ex-boyfriend, but it feels too good to quit. Harrison is your drug, and every time you hang up the phone, you’re left feeling sad and hollow inside. But it eases the pain of having him so far away, and maybe a part of you deludes yourself by reasoning that your calls are helping you get over him: cutting him out completely was too hard, but maybe sharing these phone calls will help you. Eventually he’ll stop calling, and you’ll be able to heal, because you’ll have practised saying goodbye so many times it’ll feel normal.

But Harrison doesn’t stop calling, and you don’t stop answering, and soon enough, he’s been away for six months, and he’s preparing to move back to London, his film complete.

You don’t really know where you stand with him, if you’re being completely honest. He’s still your ex - but you’re still helplessly in love with him, and you’re fairly sure that most exes don’t spend hours on the phone each day, chatting and laughing like you’re still together. You try to bring it up with him, but every time you start the conversation, your heart clenches in your chest and you wimp out.

You ignore the difficult conversation for as long as you can - which lasts until you hear a loud knock on your front door, and you know that it’s him.

It feels almost like a gravitational pull, drawing you back to his figure. You’ve spent all day pacing your flat, fussing over your hair and your outfit, but for the entire time you’ve spent waiting on his flight arriving, you haven’t been sure if you’d be able to open the door and face him. But now you know that he’s here, your heart seems to act of your own accord.

You wrench your door open, and immediately you’re pulled into a tight, crushing hug. It knocks the air out of your lungs and you wheeze as you feel that familiar set of curls brushing up against your neck, and you feel a few tears slip from your eyes as you take it all in. He’s back.

“Haz,” you exclaim, your voice choked with tears. His hands move over your back, clinging to you, drawing you as close as possible as his rich, earthy cologne invades your system. It doesn’t even matter that his jacket has a collection of chilly raindrops clinging to the leather, because it feels so fucking perfect to have him so near you again that you can’t focus on anything other than him.

“I missed you,” he whimpers, as he pulls away from your neck. His large hands fall on your shoulders as he stares at you intently, his focused eyes whipping the air from your lungs. He looks so cute that you can’t really stop yourself from shifting closer and pressing your lips to his. Immediately you relax, and he does too, and he kisses you back softly. Your mouths are tender at first, pressing together softly - testingly - but as you wrap your hands around his waist and bring him closer, it deepens. Your mind spins with dizzy, overwhelming happiness as you revel in the feeling of Harrison, enjoying him utterly, your heart thrumming happily against your ribs.

“I missed you so much,” you mumble against his lips, kissing him between each word. Your fingers drift into his hair, and you smile as he hums in agreement.

“We are so stupid,” he says, drawing a laugh from your lips. “Can’t believe we ever thought breaking up was for the best.” His mouth shifts up to press a lingering kiss to your forehead. “I love you so much, Y/N. Please, can we get back together?” His words are desperate, but they echo the things you’ve been feeling for months, and hearing them is such a relief that you simply have to kiss him again.

“Yes, yes, yes,” you whisper, moving to rest your forehead on his shoulder. Harrison brings you into a warm hug, and you let him hold you as you breathe him in. “I missed you. I love you.” You tilt your head back, meeting his eyes gleefully. “I’m so glad that you’re back.”

Harrison reaches down and pulls a familiar, glinting chain from his pocket. Your gaze softens as you pull away from him and tilt your head, letting him wrap the necklace back around your neck. The H pendant settles gently over your chest, and it feels like coming home.

“Perfect,” he comments, and you’re not sure if he’s talking about you or the necklace, but you’re willing to accept either.

With a warm smile on your face, you move aside and welcome him inside. “D’you want a cup of tea?” You offer.

Harrison steps across the threshold and presses a final, loving kiss to your lips. “There’s nothing I’d like more.”

----

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