#to be fair i finished one assignment today and also got halfway through one reading

[miyamiwu]

Look who's procrastinating by starting the manga

I have an assignment due at 12pm tomorrow, as well as 2 separate long texts to read for class, yet here I am

[yoonguurt]

Taken

pairing: harpy!Jae x reader

genre: smut

warnings: fingering, unprotected sex (please don’t), penetrative sex, yandere themes if you squint. I think that’s it? If not let me know and I can edit it and add what I missed.

word count: 6,521

A/N: Guys I am sorry it’s so late. It is currently 12:38 a.m. and I have been trying to finish this for two days. I had some issues with not one but two power outages and just a hard time with getting my shit together. Thank everyone for your patience, but a huge thanks to K for making this title card and helping me when my motivation lowered.

Collab masterlist

Walking a few beats faster than your normal pace, you round the corner just a tad too close, bumping into the wall slightly. Slowing down a little as you rub your right arm, you lift your head briefly to make sure you aren’t on a collision course with anything else before speeding back up. You were used to this route, you took it at least once a week but you frequently went this way even when you didn’t have the Mythology class. Though, to be fair, you weren’t really taking the class, you were the teaching aide, and you absolutely loved it. Your previous class had just ended and even though you weren’t due to the classroom for another two hours, you always went early. It was, in a sense, your “me time.” Your freshman year, you tried so hard to get picked as the aide for Professor Kim, being that was only the person you admired most in life. The man had written no less than three books on different versions of mythology, all of which you had read numerous times, his feature on Greek mythology being your favorite. By the time your sophomore year had come around, your grades had gotten you noticed enough to be considered for being an aide, it was just pure luck that you managed to be assigned to Prof. Kim. By junior year, he had asked for you to once again be his aide, which led to now. 

You sat down at your own little desk in the corner of Prof. Kim’s office, it had been his idea to have you a desk put in his office after he found you in the library pouring over your notes one too many times. It was part of your routine, you would leave from your previous class and go sit somewhere and look over your notes from the previous week. You wanted to make sure that your mind was refreshed before each class. After a few weeks, your mentor mentioned that there was an extra desk in his office that you could use, rather than the uncomfortable tables in the library, which you happily accepted. Once you were settled, you pulled out your notebook and began your routine of looking over your notes. As you hyper focus on your notes, a take out coffee gets placed beside you. A smile plays at your lips as you look up to thank Professor Kim. “How many times have I told you that there are better things for you to be doing with your free time?” You immediately giggle at the playful tone he has and think quickly of a response. “Well, that’s probably true, but how the hell am I supposed to beat you in your own field if I don’t study and do my best?” He lifts his hand to his chest in mock hurt before you both burst into a fit of laughter. With a shake of his head, your mentor turns to his desk and sits and busies himself as you go back to your notes.

You get to the lecture hall before Professor Kim, as usual, he prefers to be “fashionably late” as he likes to say. You scan the room, taking note of everyone present. Most of the students here are returners, you know the vast majority from the previous year. During this year, you’ve taken the time to get to know any new comers. At this point, you know the name of everyone here and what seat they prefer to sit in. Well, until now. As your eyes scan the room, you notice a new face. You take a moment, wondering if you have somehow missed this person every week, but that quickly fades from your mind, you know there’s no absolutely way. But why would a person join the class so late in the semester? He would have missed so much, was there even a point to joining more than halfway through? You realize that your eyes had stayed focused on the new man. He was certainly very handsome. He looked like something only your imagination could conjure up. He was tall and thin with blonde hair that you could tell wasn’t his natural color, but you would be lying if you said it didn’t pair well with his dark chocolate eyes. It hit you that you were STILL staring and you felt your cheeks burn with embarrassment as you quickly tried to move your gaze. You thought you averted your eyes rather quickly, and that made you feel a little bit better, but the last thing about him that you noticed was the small but cocky smirk that played across his lips.

The door slowly opens and Professor Kim silently walks in, not lifting his head until he reaches his podium. He looks around the room, seemingly in suspense before flashing a small smile and addressing the room. “We’re going to be doing something a little different today. Today, I’m going to have Y/N run this lecture.” You’re head snapped in his direction, panic flooding your gaze as it landed on him. He stepped aside from the podium, taking a seat at the small table you were seated at. He gave you a small smile and a slight nod of his head, his way of letting you know he had full confidence in you. You stood, legs slightly shaking as you made your way to the podium in front of the room. You knew these people, for the most part, you knew you shouldn’t be as nervous as you were but you really couldn’t help it. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, opening your eyes to find every set of eyes fixed on you.

Glancing down at your notes, hoping to buy yourself some time to shake your nerves, you take a moment to force yourself to stop holding the podium so tightly. You could see your knuckles turning white and you knew you wouldn’t be able to do this if you were so tense. Taking one more deep breath, you fixed your eyes on the sea of faces in front of you. “Ok guys, I need you to bear with me here. You guys know how quickly my brain flutters from one idea to another and how sometimes my mouth can’t keep up with my brain.” She sighs in relief when that gets a laugh from the class, a smile quickly replacing the anxious frown she had before. Finally feeling a little confidence, you jump right into your first teaching lesson. “Well, we’ve already covered our fair share of gods, theories and creatures, you all know how excited I got about the gorgons,” that got another laugh out of everyone, “but I think I may be able to top that excitement. We’re going to be exploring one of the lesser talked about creatures, and they’re really one of my favorites. Harpies.” You watch as few people perk up at the mention of the creatures, but you notice the blonde man really focus his attention on you. You could only assume that he too had a fascination with the topic, which would explain his sudden appearance.

“There are many different accounts of harpies throughout mythology. They have been called beautiful creatures, but have also been referred as quite the opposite. Some people say they were known to steal food as you were eating it, while others say they would steal people. There’s really only one thing all accounts have in common. Harpies were known to be some form of a mix of a woman and a bird.” Your eyes had continued to scan the room and every time your eyes landed on the handsome stranger, you could tell that he seemed to be hanging on your every word. The other students, while you could tell they were intrigued, it was nothing compared to the blonde man. His interest struck you as odd. Not that he was interested, just the look on his face as you spoke. His eyes were focused on you, seeming to burn through you really, and his face was like stone. He looked like he could erupt in anger at any time, but you couldn’t think of a reason why he would. Tearing your attention away, you continued your lecture, not wanting to lose your momentum. “This leads researchers to believe that there weren’t male harpies.” You could hear someone give a disgusted snort from somewhere in the room. You stop and look around, trying to figure out where it came from. The quick glance offers you no information, but you feel a little hurt that this would happen during your first lesson. You push that hurt feeling and continued on. 

You conclude your lesson, releasing a breath that you hadn’t realized you had been holding, but feeling proud that you hadn’t flubbed anything up too badly. Professor Kim tells everyone that they are free to go, turning to you afterward and let you know how proud he is of you and finishing off by saying that he is considering making this a semi regular thing. You grace him with the biggest smile you think you’ve ever had and thank him and tell him how much you appreciate it. He dismisses you shortly after and you walk out feeling like nothing could ruin your day. 

As you walk down the hall, you think about what you should do for the rest of the day. Mythology was your last class for the day, and while you really want to start planning for next week, you know it’s probably far too soon to be doing that. Especially since you know that you’ll make approximately 300 changes before the next class. You settle on getting a coffee on the way home and settling in front of the tv. A sudden call of your name draws you out of your thoughts and you quickly turn around to see where the voice came from. You see the tall newcomer from the mythology class walking toward you. Well, sauntering really. You can see the amount of confidence he has in himself just by his stride, he’s gorgeous and he knows it. He catches up and doesn’t immediately speak, which baffles you a little. The man had the nerve to stop you in a crowded hallway just to not even speak. What the hell was that about? “Do you have a question about class or something?” You try to keep your voice as polite as possible, despite the small irritation you feel. The man gives you that stupid smirk again and shakes his head lightly, causing his hair to fall into his face a little, which makes him more attractive and  you more irritated. “I can see you know alot about mythology, but you also don’t know as much as you think you do. Your harpy interpretation was really cute, but wrong. Now if you really want to learn about harpies, let me know.” He hands a small slip of paper, which no doubt has his number on it, before he gives you a smile that is small but somehow still manages to give you butterflies. As he walks off without another word, you’re left speechless. Just who the hell does this guy think he is?

Over the next few days, you notice that you see the stranger almost everywhere. Late night run to the corner store near your house, he’s in the aisle next to you. Go to the library to check out some possible topics for next week, he’s at the table across from you. He was even at the park on the other side of town when you decided to go read under a tree. By the time you see him in your favorite coffee shop, you’ve had enough. You push your chair out from under you, the sound of the legs sliding against the floor making your ears hurt slightly and causes a chill to run down your spine, but you can’t be bothered to care. You have a fire behind your eyes as you stalk over to where he’s sitting and give a poke on the shoulder. “What the fuck is your deal, huh? Are you following me or something?” He looks at you with a dead pan face, other than a slight look of confusion. “I really have no idea what the hell you are talking about.” You study his face for a moment and you can’t see any sign of lying and you immediately feel silly. You issue a  quick apology and change the subject, hoping to breeze past your lashing out. “Who are you anyway? I’ve never seen you in myth before the other day. Did you just decide to drop by late semester to see what it was about?” He lets out a small laugh and you’re struck by how beautiful a laugh can be. “The name is Jae, I guess you could say I am new to the area.” His reply is brief, but all of your questions are answered and when he gives you a full smile you immediately drop your gaze to your feet, suddenly flustered. The fact that he had gotten you flustered twice already had you slightly irritated. The flustered blushing girl was not who you were. You had always been a very confident and sure of yourself, blushing and getting tongue tied was not something you did often. And now this complete stranger had made it happen TWICE in less than a week was aggravating.

“Have you thought about my offer, teachy lady?” Even with your eyes on the floor, you could hear his smirk. You’re blush was quickly gone as you felt the slightest tint of anger bubble up in your stomach. “I’ve been studying mythology for years, I really doubt there is anything you could tell me that I don’t already know.” Your tone was curt, maybe a little more than you had intended but that was completely fine with you. You fixed your glare on the pair of eyes in front of you, doing your best not to fall into a trance of just staring at the beauty in them. The brief silence was broken in the form of a harsh laugh. You narrowed your eyes as Jae continued to laugh until he was a little out of breath. “No offense, dollface, but you don’t know shit.” he stood from the table and moved toward the door. “When you’re ready to talk, you have my number.”

The thoughts of the coffee house interaction still fill your mind as you ready yourself for bed. You honestly can’t believe he spoke to you that way, especially during your first actual conversation with the man. But what was worse was that it actually turned you on. It wasn’t the words he said as much as the tone he said them in. He had this cocky tone that affected you deep down in the pit of your stomach. You didn’t want to simmer on that thought for too long, you did your best to shake the thought from your head as you crawled into bed. You made sure to flip your pillow over, cold side is always the best side, before you slid under the covers and waited for sleep to take you.

You feel tips of fingers ghosting up your thigh, inching closer and closer to clothed heat. Just before they reach their mark, they sweep to the side and fall down to grab a handful of your ass, nails digging into your flesh. You let out a whimper, making your disappointment known, only to be met with a soft smack on the cheek of your ass. You let out a loud whine, loving the small sting the swat left behind. “Patience, baby. You’ll get everything you want, you just have to be patient.” The words whispered in your ear came just before a soft nibble to your earlobe. You could feel the wetness from you sex causing your underwear to cling to you. How would one man have so much power over you to have you so wet without even touching you? The ghost tips were back, this time traveling from your neck, down to your breasts before gently bypassing the hem on your sleep pants. You felt a burst of pleasure as a slow circle was drawn around your clit as the single digit slid through your folds and slowly pushed into your entrance. You let out a soft sigh, finally getting some sort of relief, pleasure flowing through your body. Your mind was clouded as a second finger prodded at your entrance only allowing you to form a single word. “Jae.”

You jolted up in your bed, a slight sheen of sweat covering your body. What the fuck was that? This could not be happening, you didn’t even really like the guy. Sure he had the beauty of a god, he smelled nice, and his laugh sounded heavenly, but that doesn’t mean anything. You still didn’t like him. Your gaze drifted to your purse where the slip of paper he had given you still remained crumpled up among the mass of pens you seem to collect. Absolutely not, there was no way. This was just a dream, it didn’t mean a thing, not one thing. You could totally ignore that dream like it never happened and not think of it at all. Totally. 

You were doing pretty good about not thinking about your dream. You had gone to your classes and had been able to completely focus on what the lecture was about and had been able to take some great notes. You honestly hadn’t even thought of Jae or the dream since you had gotten a shower and headed out for your day. Still keeping your mind off of it, you sat at your desk in Professor Kim’s office, looking over some notes your mentor had been gracious enough to take for you last week. The two of you had already talked about this lecture and you were both relieved and a little disappointed that you would not be leading this week. You hadn’t really prepared much, which was completely unlike you, so you were glad you weren’t having to lecture without preparing. On the other hand, you had enjoyed the feeling of being in front of everyone as they listened to you. Realizing the time, you shut your notebook and walked to the lecture room. You did notice that you weren’t walking at your normal speed, and you couldn’t really figure out why you were sort of dragging but you decided not to think about it too long.

You made it to the room just before Professor Kim walked in, which really let you know how slow you must have been walking. You scanned the room, not wanting to admit that you couldn’t really decide whether or not you wanted to see that shimmer of blonde hair. When you didn’t see Jae, you felt a mix of emotions, but you absolutely would not consider the fact that you were more disappointed than relieved. You sat down at the desk just to the left of the podium, gaze focused on your mentor when a voice pipes in behind you. “Sorry for being late, class ran over.” You turn and see Jae walking in and he flashes a quick smile. Of course your cheeks flush, how does he even do that? He moves to take a seat at the front of the room, the opposite of where he sat last week. You quickly snap your head back to the man at the podium, trying to pay attention to what he says. It doesn’t take long for you to feel like you’re being watched and you cast a small glance toward the rest of the people in the room, only to find Jae’s eyes solely focused on you. You cut your eyes away quickly, but you can still feel his eyes on you. You leave the lecture with no new notes, no memory of what the professor talked about, and a gnawing sensation in your gut.

Jae and the dream had been on your mind since you left mythology. You had done everything you could to take your mind off of it and so far nothing had worked. So here you were, angrily scrubbing your already clean kitchen counter. You thought back to how he hadn’t taken his eyes off of you and it made your blood boil a little. You started scrubbing with a bit more force, every now and then your gaze flittered over to your purse. Should you just get him over here and just let him annoy you so you could stop thinking of his hand down your pants? Or maybe you could get him over for a quick fuck? After realizing the scrubbing had stopped, you tossed your sponge in your sink and made your way to your coffee table. Turning your purse over and letting the contents fall all over the table, you fumbled around trying to find the small crumpled paper. After a brief search, you find it and unfold it, staring at it for a moment as you try to make up your mind. Not letting yourself think about it too much, you grab your phone and type Jae’s number and a short message. “Still up for that talk about harpies?”

Fifteen minutes later as you sit on your couch, bouncing your legs nervously, you hear a knock on the door. You still weren’t sure how he hadn’t needed your address, but maybe he lived near or something. He did seem to live close since he was always where you were. You scrambled to get to the door before he knocked again, opening just as his hand was about to rap against it. You both stood there in silence, just staring at each other for a while until Jae lifted his eyebrow and nodded his head toward your apartment. You stuttered a bit while telling him to come in and asking if he wanted anything to drink. He gave you a polite no as he sat down in the chair across from the couch while you sat down on the far end of the couch, trying to put some distance between you so maybe he couldn’t affect you as much. The silence from before resumed, with you sitting there awkwardly while he seemed very relaxed and calm. “What’s wrong, dollface? I make you nervous or something?” His voice brought you out of your awkward phase rather quickly. “Are you gonna talk about harpies or just flirt?” 

He gave a loud laugh, leaning farther back in the chair while he tried to catch his breath. “Fair enough, babe. So let me start with the harpies being ugly thing. That is just rude and an insult. Have you ever met a harpy? How do you know if they’re ugly? Never judge on someone else’s opinion, dollface.” You almost burst out laughing. Was this man serious? Here he was talking like harpies were real and walking among people, rather than a myth. “And secondly. No males? What the heck is that about? How would you get more harpies if male harpies weren’t a thing? You do know how reproduction works, don’t you? I know for a fact that harpies are in fact beautiful creatures and there are male harpies. I mean, just look at me, male and beautiful.”"

He flashed a cocky smile, and you weren't sure what he was saying. Was this man trying to imply that he was a harpy? You couldn't stop yourself from laughing this time, letting it all out until you were gasping for air. "Are you seriously trying to tell me that you are a harpy?" you managed to get out once you had caught your breath. He stared at you for a moment before he replied. "Yes. That is exactly what I'm saying." You didn't think you had it in you to laugh more, but you were wrong. "Hey! Stop laughing, woman! I'm serious here." But stop laughing you did not do. You just started laughing harder, tears forming in your eyes, only stopping when he stood up. "Fine. I'll show you."

He stood next to the chair as he took off his black hoodie and tossed it on the back of the chair, followed by his shirt. You were taken aback by his random stripping in your living room and quickly moved to cover your eyes. You heard what sounded like the flap of wings before he spoke to you. "You can't see if you cover your eyes, dummy." Tearing your hands away, you were ready to snap at him when you finally got a look at him. Given the circumstances, you were ashamed to admit that the first place your eyes went was his naked chest. He wasn't super defined but he was definitely nice to look at. "My wings are back here, darling." Your eyes snapped up to see that he did in fact have a set of wings and your eyes widened. They were huge and resembled the wings of an eagle. You placed your hand on his shoulder, forcing him to turn so you could see if had glued them on or something, but you found that they were very much attached to his back. You stood there in awe for a while, not sure what to say. His voice once again brought you out of your daze. 

"You can touch them if you want." His voice wasn't far above a whisper and you glanced up at him to double check that it would be ok. His eyes were soft and he looked back down at you and nodded his head gently. You reached out and slowly moved your hand forward cautiously. When your skin met the feathers, you almost snatched back as a reflex, but you fought it and ran your hand down the side of the wing. They were soft, softer than anything you had ever felt, and you felt wrong touching them. Like they were made of glass. You quickly moved your hand back, causing a look of surprise to pass across Jae's features. 

"Are you scared of me, dollface?" Were you scared? You didn't feel fear, at least you didn't think so. You felt many things. Awe, confusion, amazement, lust, but fear was nowhere to be found. You knew that you most definitely SHOULD be afraid, but you couldn’t find a reason to be. You didn’t feel like he would harm you in any way and you really couldn’t explain why, but you accepted it without much thought. You realized that you still needed to answer him, but you didn’t feel like words were not what was needed. Standing on your toes, you leaned in toward his mouth, hoping that he would meet you somewhere in the middle. He didn’t move, opting to let you stretch and reach until your lips found his. He stayed still for a moment only moving when his hand lifted to cup your face. It was unlike any kiss you had had before. It was intoxicating. It was soft and strong at the same time, sweet but full of lust. It didn’t take long for his tongue to swipe at your bottom lip, asking for entrance. You didn’t hesitate to fulfil his unspoken request, immediately flooded with the taste of him. He tasted of coffee, a sweet flavor with a hint of bitterness. You felt that it should be an unpleasant taste, but you could tell that you were already addicted. The soft moan that you whimpered couldn’t be held in and you could tell that he was pleased that you didn’t hold it when his hand moved from your jaw to your waist, pulling closer to him. He pulled back, to catch his breath you assumed, and rested his forehead on yours. “I’ll take that as a no then.” The heat of his breath fanned over your face, and you felt your knees start to buckle at the sound of his husky whisper.

He pulled your body closer, though you were sure you couldn’t get much closer to him. With a quirked eyebrow, he met your gaze. “Bed?” You nodded almost too excitedly, earning a chuckle from Jae. Taking his hand, you turned and led him down the hall to your small bedroom. He closed the door behind himself, quickly spinning you around as his hands found your ass and he lifted you up and pressed your back against the door. You quickly wrapped your legs around his waist, lightly grinding your core against the growing bulge in his sweats. He let out a low moan before backing up slightly, just enough so his bulge had moved away from you. “So needy, already?” Your reply came only in the form of a moan, which granted you another chuckle from Jae. You whined, hoping it would convince him to move back and give you the friction you needed. He did move closer, but only to whisper in your ear. “Patience, baby.” You instantly moaned loudly as the memory of your dream came flooding back to you. Jae moved back against you before removing your back from the door and turning you both towards your bed. You were expecting him to toss you onto your bed, but instead he gently laid you down, climbing over you without breaking the kiss he had surprised you with. When you were firmly planted on the bed, he stood up straight, his wings raised and you weren’t sure you had seen anything sexier in your life. “I think it’s a little unfair that I have my shirt off and here you are still fully clothed.” Your arms instantly flew to the hem of your shirt, ready to tear it off and fling it to some unknown part of the room. Jae’s hands moved on top of yours, slowing your movements. “There’s no need to rush, dollface. What did I say about patience?” He stood back straight, allowing you to remove your own shirt. You slowed your pace, taking an agonizingly long time to rid yourself of the article. When your shirt was fully off, you tossed it to the floor, reaching around to unclasp your bra. You were slow with your movements again, eyes locked on Jae’s face as he watched you. When you tossed it aside, leaving yourself bare, you could see the lust in Jae’s eyes. His pupils were dark and blown out and his tongue darted out of his mouth to wet his lips.

You leaned back on the bed, putting your arms behind you and waited for Jae to make a move. He just stared for a moment, taking you in for a while. When he finally moved, his hands lunged forward, grabbing your leggings and pulling them down your legs slowly. He kept eye contact as he took what felt like forever to rid you of the clothing, only making you soak your panties further. Once he had your leggings off, he lowered himself on top of you, making his way to your neck, leaving small nibbles along your jaw. You turned your head to give him better access, a low groan coming from him in appreciation. His lips were suddenly replaced with his tongue, licking a slow stripe from the bottom of your jaw to your ear. He took your lobe into his mouth and giving it a bite as he moved his lips up. “Tell me what you want, baby.” His voice was low with a small bit of rasp to it, that coupled with his words had you moaning almost instantly. He hummed against your skin, urging you to give him an answer. “F-fingers” was all you could say, hoping to relive your dream in any way you could. He gave you a quick kiss as his hand made its way down to the hem of your underwear. You held your breath as he inched closer, the anticipation had you dripping and you needed some sort of relief. Finally his hand made its way into your underwear and you were almost panting as you waited for him to make contact with your throbbing clit. Just before his finger reached your bud, he quickly moved his hand lower, skipping over your clit completely. You let out a whine and he gave a chuckle as his face lowered to your chest. 

He took your nipple into his mouth, swirling his tongue around it as he slowly plunged two fingers into you. The feeling of finally having something filling you gave you just enough to give you the pleasure you had been craving, but his slow pace had you still needing more. You let out a long whine as you let your hand fall to his arm and tried to shove him further down. “M-more. Please.” You could feel him smile against your breast before he bit down and slid his mouth off of you. “Such a needy girl.” His tone was playful, but the look in his eye was very serious. Picking up his pace, he curled his fingers slightly finding your sweet spot almost immediately. Your moan was so intense that it almost felt like it hadn’t even come from you. On instinct, you grabbed Jae’s shoulder, nails digging into his skin. He let out a small moan of his own and tried to make a mental note of a sweet spot of his own. His pace quickened once more, his fingers pumping in and out of, causing your high to approach rapidly. You could feel the coil in your stomach start to tighten and Jae must have sensed it too. He leaned into you, lips just barely touching the shell of your ear. “Come on, let go for me, dollface.” With one last hard thrust of his fingers, the coil burst as you came all over his fingers and he helped you ride out your orgasm.

He brought his fingers up to his mouth, making sure to keep eye contact, and slowly shoved them in his mouth. He let out a groan at your taste, eyes slowly closing as he savored your release. The sight was beautiful. You loved being able to see how much he loved the way you tasted, you could almost watch him all day. The neediness you still felt said otherwise. Without really thinking, you grabbed one of his wings and gave it a small tug, catching his attention but also earning a groan. You’d revisit that later. “Jae. I need you inside of me. Please.” He gave you a smirk as he moved to fit himself between your legs. He lined himself up with your entrance, pausing briefly to make eye contact as he slowly pushed into your walls. Once he finally bottomed out, you let out a long moan, feeling more full that you ever had before. He gave you a moment to adjust, but you were quick to start moving your hips and whining for him to move. He slowly pulled himself back before harshly thrusting into you, causing another loud moan to fall from your lips. “You take me so well, dollface. I knew you would as soon as I saw you.” 

Praise was falling from his lips as he picked up his pace, holding your hips in place as he timed his thrusts. Moans were falling from your mouth almost constantly as his pace picks up again. Your hands were wrapped around his shoulders, nails digging into the skin around the base of his wings, his loud moans letting you know how much of a sweet spot you had found. His mouth fell to your neck and his pace got sloppy. You could tell he was close and so were you, his name falling from your mouth like a prayer. “Give me one more, baby. I know you can do it. Let it go.” One hard thrust was all you needed to come around his cock, with one final moan. Jae hurriedly asked you where you wanted him to cum. You didn’t have the strength to form words, so your reply was a simple whine as you wrapped your legs around his waist and pulled him closer to you with your feet. You knew by a moan, deeper and longer than all the rest, that he got your meaning. Giving a few more hard thrusts, his hips grew frantic as he chased his own high. His body finally stilled as he released inside of you, choked moans and grunts falling from his mouth as he planted his face in the bend  of your neck.

Jae placed a kiss sweetly on your lips and asked if you were ok and made sure he hadn’t hurt you in any way. “ ‘M fine. Just tired.” It had taken all of your strength to form the broken sentence and you watched as he gave you another small kiss and get up to clean you up and find your clothes. He got himself dressed and asked if you wanted him to stay or if he needed to leave, and you responded by making grabby hands at him. He gave a quiet giggle as he climbed into bed with you, wrapping his arms around you as snuggled close to him. “I knew you’d be the one. I just knew.” Sleep took you before you could ask him what he meant. 

You could feel air blowing against your face, drawing you from your slumber. You slowly opened your eyes to find the sunrise, and you were very confused as to where you were. You move to get a better look at your surroundings. “Be still or you’ll fall, baby.” You look around to see Jae smiling at you, brighter than you had seen yet. Glancing around again, you turn to Jae, eyes full of concern. “Jae what’s going on? Where are we?” His smiles fades into a smirk as he places a kiss against your temple, warming you up despite the bitter breeze. “I’m taking you to my nest, dollface.” He gives you a small squeeze before he continues. “There are a few things I need to say. Remember in the coffee shop when you asked me why I was everywhere you were? I might have lied. I was following you, but only because you interested me so much. I just wanted to see what made you tick. After I told you what I am and you accepted me, and then after our wonderful night together, I decided that I wanted to keep you around. So, we’re heading to my nest. My home.” You watched him for a moment, confusion still clouding your mind. “And what if I don’t want to go to your nest?” Your tone was playful, not really sure what outcome you wanted or really what you expected him to say. He gave you another kiss to the temple and flashed you a smile. “Well. Then I drop you.”

[obey-me-fics-n-shit]

Satan X MC: “Cat Cafe?”

@gostbirds So the brothers don’t really interfere with them going, (because I couln’t think of any good reason lol) and I didn’t actually write them going to the cafe, AND its a bit longer than I meant it to be, but I had lots of fun writing it and I hope you like it!

Also this is my first time writing something that’s not headcannons, so if you have any criticisms, keep them constructive please and thank you!

Satan x mc “cat cafe?”

You sat down for a peaceful Saturday breakfast in the house of Lamentation, ready to scarf down as many of Satan’s delicious pancakes as you could before Beel came down and ate them all. Taking charge of who all was there you took stock of Asmo, who seemed busy drizzling on syrup just so in a way that made it look picture perfect. Turns out that was the plan, because a second later Asmo pulled out his DDD and was taking pictures for Devilgram. Moving further down the table you saw Mammon, who didn’t seem particularly interested in what was going on in terms of food, but he was eyeing up the new silverware in a way that told you that you probably wouldn’t see it again soon. Finally there was Satan, who was sat at the table with a book in hand. He already finished eating if you were to judge by his empty but dirty plate. It was cute, you thought, that everytime he made a meal he stayed in the dining room until everyone had eaten some. Satan never really said why he did this, but you figured that he like to gauge everyones reactions to the meal, to see whether or not he should make it again.

You decided to sit across from Satan, who acknowledged you (and your large stack of pancakes) as you sat down with a smile. You offered a smile back and dug in. You’d always liked Satan the best, and the two of you had gotten pretty close but sometimes he still made you nervous. You had honestly gotten pretty good at reading all of his little micro-expressions too, Satan is a quiet guy, you’d noticed that early on. So when the two of you started spending more time together, being able to know what he was saying without actually saying it was a must. But, for all of your hard work on getting to know him better you still couldn’t tell if he liked you back. You looked up at Satan and made sure to make a show out of pointing to the pancakes then giving a big thumbs up. You would’ve said something but it was kind of hard because A) mouthful of yummy pancakes and B) you didn’t want to rope him into a conversation when he was trying to read. Satan acknowledged you thumb up with his own thumb up, small smile and no, it couldn’t be was that a blush? Before you could look closer and verify his face was hidden by the book again.

It was then that Levi walked in and sat down next to you. You greeted him with a cheery “good morning” and Levi did the same. Looking back at the table you saw that Mammon (and his silverware) had done a little vanishing act and were gone, but Asmo was finally getting started on his pancakes. Levi started talking and you were really trying to pay attention, but you had already missed the first part of his conversation. You tuned in just in time to find out he was talking about some new gimmicky cafe he was interested in had just opened.

“-and they’ll join you at the table! Anyways MC all the waitress have little paw print aprons, which I’ve heard are pretty cute and they have a gift shop with a whole bunch of themed collectibles, I’ve got to get there soon before they run out of Ruri-Chan cat figurines!”

Now you really wish you had listened to the first part of Levi’s spiel because to say you were lost was an understatement. You couldn’t help but notice though that whatever Levi talked about must have been interesting. Satan was looking at his book but his eyes weren’t moving across the page, he was listening. If it had gotten Satan’s attention it was probably something you should’ve been listening to. Sooner or later you had to respond though you you decided to go with, “Yeah, that sounds really cool Levi!” Before taking another bite of pancake so you wouldn’t have to say anything more.

It was quiet for a little longer while you and Levi took some bites, “Anyway, MC, I was wondering if you wanted to come with me later today.” Levi got around to the point of his speech.

“Ooh! Like a date?,” Asmo piped in, “because if it’s a date that’s no fair! Do you have any idea how hard it is to convince MC on a date?” At this you noticed Satan stiffen a little a bit, eyes still fixed on his book but unmoving on the page.

“No that’s not it at all, Asmodeus!” Levi rebuttted a little red in the face. You decided if you didn’t chime in now things would only get heated from here.

“Oh that’s nice, Levi, but I think I have some more work I need to do on one of my assignments, maybe next time though!” You weren’t in the business of committing to plans if you didn’t know what they were (although you knew it was your fault for not paying attention.) and if the idea of you going to whatever this place was made Satan uneasy it probably wasn’t worth it.

“Oh that’s okay! It’ll be easier to get a table if there’s one person anyway.” Levi responded. With that you finished up your plate, thanked Satan for breakfast and made your way back to your room. You really did have some work to do, so at least that wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t as much work as you made it sound to Levi.

Around noon-thirty you had finished the work you needed to do and decided you’d head down to the kitchen to throw together some lunch. To no ones surprise Beel was stationed in front of the fridge, eating whatever was unfortunate enough to find its way into his hands, and thereby his mouth.

“Heya Beel!” You greeted reaching arounf him for some lunch meat, on the way down to the kitchen you’d decided a quick sandwich seemed like a good lunchtime option.

“Hi, mc,” Beel said through a muffled mouthful of food, “heard you turned down Levi’s offer to buy you lunch, what are ya, crazy?” Beel turned to you a goofy little grin on his face. You don’t remember that, when would you ever turn down a nice time out with your friends? Ohhhhhhh this morning is the time you’d turn that down. You remembered, as you began to assemble your sandwich.

“Oh haha,” you recovered with a quick chuckle, “did he offer to take you instead? I would’ve gone if I didn’t have to catch up on some homework” you asked, trying to retroactively figure out where exactly Levi had offered to take you to.

Beel gave you a friendly laugh over his shoulder, “he did offer, and I’m not one to turn down a free meal, but he said it was a cat cafe,” he paused to take another bite and swallow, you used the silence to throw together an extra sandwich, glad you at last knew the answer to this ‘Levi-lunchtime-mystery’. Beel continued, “-but after Satan’s cat fiasco a few years back I don’t really like dealing with cats anymore.”

Cat fiasco? Were you supposed to know what that was, the way Beel mentioned it so casually, you supposed so. You had no clue but you figured you’d save your questions for another time. “Oh, understandable,” you commented, so that you didn’t sound like a complete idiot. “Speaking of Satan, has he had lunch yet?” You asked, you figured you could take him some lunch if he hadn’t had any, it wasn’t that uncommon for him to get so wrapped up in whatever he was reading that time escaped him.

‘No, not yet. Or at least I haven’t seen him.” Beel said, more to the fridge than to you. Good, you thought, you could take Satan some lunch and spend some time with him.

“Okay, I’d better go make sure he gets something to eat then, see ya later Beel!” You said already halfway out of the kitchen with your two sandwiches.

Finding Satan wasn’t that hard, if he wasn’t in his room he was in the library. And that’s where you found him, he was reading the same book from this morning, and he was much farther along, judging by the way the pages near the back cover loooked a lot thinner than they had this morning. “Hey,” you spoke softly, as not to startle him, “I brought you some lunch.” You said extending the plate towards him.

Satan looked up from his book and took a sandwich off the plate, “thanks mc,” he murmured appreatively. You looked at the cover of his book, recognizing it as one of your old favorites, “any good?” You asked gesturing to the book.

“Yeah, I’m really liking it, you mentioned it a few weeks back and I finally got my hands on a copy.” He placed a book mark tenderly amongst the pages and gently shut the book. You hadn’t remembered mentioning that it was your favorite, wait now that you think about you may have made an off-handed remark, but the fact that he remembered made you heart swell a little. Not only did he remember, but he actively searched out the book and made a point of reading it. This man was going to be the death of you and he didn’t even know it

“Have you gotten to the part where-“ you were cut off by Satan, who shushed you with a ‘no spoilers!” And took a bite out of his sandwich, you did the same. Satan made a small sour look, and looked up at you from his spot on the couch.

“Mc, why is there only meat in this sandwich?” He asked you, quizzical. Oh shit, you realized you had been so wrapped up in talking to Beel that you completely forgot that sandwiches have other ingredients. How on earth did you forget something so simple?

“I- uhhh” you said, unsure of how to explain, you set the plate down beside him and let him set down his sandwich. “It’s kinda a silly reason,” you looked at Satan, who looked at you with a small smile, obviously amused.

“Explain it to me.” He demanded, so you did.

“Well you remember this morning when Levi was talking to me at breakfast?” You asked, Satan gave you a small nod in return. “Well I kinda zoned out and didn’t know where he was offering to take me so I gave him a half-baked excuse not to go”

“I recall,” Satan chimed in. You were a little offended that he seemed to agree your excuse was “half-baked” but you continued your story anyways.

“Well when I finished my work -I actually did have some to do-“ you justified, “I went down to get lunch and ended up talking with Beel, and he filled me in on what I missed.” You paused “I must have gotten so wrapped up in the conversation that I forgot to add anything else” you finished.

You and Satan sat in silence for a while then simultaneously broke out into laughter, what else could you do, ya know? After the giggles died down Satan looked at you, “can I ask you a question?”

“You already did,” you shot back, “but I’ll allow you another.”

“Okay then, smartass,” Satan said, still grinning. “Are you actually interested in going to that cat cafe? Because I was planning to ask you myself but Levi beat me to the punch and I wasn’t sure if you told him no because you just didn’t want to go.” He finished, watching your expressions carefully the whole time.

“Oh!” You were alarmed, Satan wanted to go out with you? At the very least he wanted to take you somewhere he seemed excited about going, and that’s something right? “Yeah of course I’d like to go with you! I mean, my lunch plans kinda fell through anyways.” You gave a good natured chuckle before adding “one condition though” this was kinda a risky move on your part, go big or go home right? You never know if you don’t try kinda thing?

“What is it?” Satan asked hesitantly.

“It’s a date?” You meant it to sound more confident than it did, but you also wanted him to know you wouldn’t force his hand if he wasn’t into you like that.

Satan broke out into a new, wider smile, one you hadn’t had the pleasure of seeing before. “Then it’s a date, mc” he said, glee shining through his voice. “We can discuss the book now the way there, but only up to where I am, okay?” He added, already getting up to go.

You didn’t know how you’d explain turning Levi down if you happened to see him there, but you figured that was a problem for later.

[thephantomofthe-internet]

Read Into Me Chapter 3: The Scarlet Letter

Steve Harrington x Reader

CATCH UP ON THE SERIES HERE

Word Count: 4,420

Warnings: Bad grades, swearing, anxiety, bullying

Tag List: @divinity-deos @thecaptainsgingersnap @wolfish-willow @scoopsohboi @herre-gud-nej @clockworkballerina​ @maddie1504​ @i-am-trash-so-much-its-scary​ @bajino-in-the-hole @buckysarge​ @wildcvltre​ @stanleyyelnatsiii​ @t0rmenta0​ @10blurredsmoke10 @unusuallchildd @n3wtscaseofniffler5​ @alwaysstressedout @peterparxour @linkispink1995​ @asharpknife @a-big-ball-of-idk​ @used-avocado​ @mochminnie​ @sledgy14​ @the-creative-lie​

Steve arrived first to Mr. Lawrence’s homeroom, his paper shoved to the back of his notebook. He was happy to have the distraction of Vicki and Tina jabbering at him. He didn’t want to think about his paper. English wasn’t his best subject, but he could hide it from his peers when it was just the teacher and him going back and forth on essays, him writing and them marking. Now, somebody was going to know that he wasn’t good at this. Nancy knew, of course, and while she didn’t say it she always seemed a bit judgemental over his lack of essay writing skill. She was good at everything; it made him feel like he was in good hands when they were together, like they both had something to offer. Apart, it made him feel stupid and secondary, like he was awful at everything. Truth be told, he didn’t exactly know what he had even offered to that relationship, looking back he couldn’t understand why he thought he was worth anything in a relationship at all.

When he sat down, the desk next to him was empty. Steve wasn’t usually early to class, so he was a bit relieved to not see you there. Maybe he could avoid the eminent roasting of his work.

You got to school late. You were absolutely drenched from head to toe. You had walked to school that day, and a sudden rainstorm hit you halfway through, soaking you before you could make it to the building. To make it worse, you’d decided to wear white for the first time in forever. You rushed to your locker in the hopes to change and luckily you’d left a stained sweatshirt there from the previous semester. You’d pushed your wet hair up and away from your face and rubbed away the bits of black eyeliner that had flaked down you cheeks. You looked like shit and you knew it. It was turning into a less than successful morning. You hadn’t even had a chance to look in your locker mirror once you’d changed. You were already late enough for class and didn’t need the write up. You rushed to your English class.

Everyone turned their attention to the doorway when you opened it. You hurried to your desk, keeping your head down and ignoring as Vicki and Tina laughed. You heard Tina say “She looks like a drowned rat.” But you chose to pretend that you didn’t. You were freezing; Hawkins High turned off the heating system mid-March and left the school to stew in whatever weather the state was dealing with to save the county a few bucks a month.

Steve slid his paper onto your desk, keeping his eye on the front of the room as Mr. Lawrence took up attendance. He’d written on the board in chalk ‘how to peer edit’ in thick block letters. You weren’t exactly enthused by the topic, but you were glad to have the dull class to doodle instead of actually listening. You flipped the paper in front of you, looking over Steve’s chicken scratch without really taking in any of the information. You slid it into your trapper keeper, passing Steve your own typed copy of the assignment. You’d made sure to keep the original at home, edited just in case Steve didn’t give you any edits. You left in some mistakes so he could get a grade, but you didn’t want to have to rely solely on him.

You flipped open your sketchpad slowly, keeping your eye on Tracy Lords curly mess of hair piled high on the top of her head like Medusa’s snakes trapped in a golden laurel, or in this case a braided headband. You pulled your graphite pencil from the pink pencil bag you’d sewn in freshman year home-ec. You started with the shape, trying to capture the exact strangeness pile, making little tight curls in the centre of the oval and spiralling in all directions. You felt a pair of eyes on your neck and you turned to see Steve staring over your shoulder. You pulled yourself and the pad inward, trying not to blush. You didn’t like people looking at your art; you hardly showed your work to anyone, even Samantha. All of your drawings sat in their pads, which piled up as the years went by, untouched and forgotten. If Samantha wasn’t allowed to see the pictures of her, Steve Harrington was certainly not allowed a peak.

“Alright, today if you and your partner are ready to begin, we’ll start editing our papers. If you aren’t ready, that’s fine but today is the only day that we’re doing in class editing so I would spend today trying to finish up so you can at least pass your papers on.” Mr. Lawrence explained. You sighed, closing your pad and pulling Steve’s essay from your trapper keeper.

“Now, we want to look for not only spelling and grammar problems, but also sentences that don’t make sense and confusing details within the essay. It’s not about how many big words you can use, it’s if you can accurately and dynamically give your reader information.” Mr. Lawrence explained. He took to the board, writing key points for his marking, specifically to edit in pen and give a letter grade for the paper.

Tina’s hand shot up “You want us to grade the paper? Isn’t that your job?” she asked, smacking her gum violently. Vicki snickered into her palm, reddish brown hair away from her face.

Mr. Lawrence shook his head “No no, I’m not taking your grade on the papers into consideration for my grade, instead I want us to give each other grades to mark the progress of an essay, to give your partner an idea of what the paper might be worth. It’ll be up to them as to whether or not they are comfortable with the grade or if they want to improve.”

You didn’t like that. Who the hell wanted their classmate grading their paper? This was a recipe for disaster. You uncapped your red pen with your teeth, chewing on the lid nervously. You looked over the page. You had made up your mind that you’d be nice. You’d want Steve to be nice to you. It was the least you could do.

But it only took a few lines to understand that this was not a good paper. Spelling and grammar mistakes galore, run on, confusing sentences, no clear subject. It wasn’t even a good story, hell it wasn’t even an essay it came off more like a point form list. As you added more and more red ink to the black, white, and blue it started as. The paper started to become a Jackson Pollack more than a lame essay for an English class, it almost felt beautiful instead of shitty to destroy his essay. It was as though you were turning into art.

Out of curiosity, you looked over at your paper to see how it was fairing. Steve was, as expected, chatting up Vicki from across the aisle, and he’d made two corrections on your page, both small mistakes you’d left in. You rolled your eyes, a pit of annoyance making itself known in the centre of your stomach, as bitter as the cyanide in a peach pit. You made your last two corrects before scrawling a large ‘D’ at the top of the page and initialling next to it.  

You flipped the paper over and pulled back out your sketchpad and brought it close to your chest, pulling your knee up to your chest and adding more curls to the back of Tracy Lords’ head, then focusing in on the braided headband until the bell rang. You flipped your pad closed and slid Steve’s essay back to him, quickly putting your stuff away.

“You mind if I take this home and give it to you tomorrow?” Steve asked, waving your essay in front of your face, nearly giving you a paper cut on the bridge of your nose.

You pushed the paper away, squinting up at him. “Yeah, whatever…” you replied, turning away from. You didn’t feel bad for giving him a bad grade now. He was still a dick head. “Don’t forget your paper.” You added, quickly making your way into the halls. You didn’t usually have the confidence to be snarky with anyone you didn’t trust, but something told you that you could handle Steve Harrington. Maybe it was just how awful his essay was, you felt like you could talk your way out of a fight.

Samantha grabbed your arm as you left the room, the pair of you thankful to have the same lunch period every other day. You hurried into the cafeteria. You knew well enough that she was on the prowl, eyes scanning the room for a certain figure.

“I think the band’s practising today, dude.” You said, taking an extra tray for Samantha and getting her serving of lumpy mashed potatoes and chicken surprise slopped on the plate. Samantha was looking for Robin Buckley, a junior on her soccer team who had drawn her attention as of late, and had been trying to get closer to her as of late, inviting her to join them for lunch every time she saw her and leaving you to third wheel.

“Yeah, probably.” She replied, taking the tray you held out for her and paid for her meal. “So, how’d talking sweet, sexy assignments with King Harrington?” Samantha crooned, batting her eyelashes up at you.

You rolled your eyes “Well, for one, we don’t talk period, and for another it’s fucking awful.” Taking your places at the table closest to the emergency exit, you settled into your routine of trying to choke down the awful cafeteria food. You grabbed your trays and had them filled with whatever horrific concoction the lunch ladies had come up with that day. You carried your grey and brown mushy mess to your table, a small four seater near the edge of the room, out of view from the popular assholes who liked the throw food.

“Oh? Is that what makes it awful? Not getting to enjoy the charming conversations he has to offer?” Samantha was trying hard not to laugh. Watching you squirm was hilarious.

“More like because I have to read his writing…” you replied. You jabbed your fork into what was supposed to be pot roast, but seemed to be ninety percent instant gravy and ten percent meat from an undetermined animal.

“Since when are you such a snob?” Samantha’s mouth was full of mashed potatoes, but the words rang clear.

“Since I spent my morning reading absolute dog shit about a vacation to Miami beach. It was pathetic! I mean, and I’m no critic, but if you’re going to write me an essay on your vacation, can you at least make it interesting?” you ranted. The more you talked about how awful it was the angrier you got about it. You spent so long on art and creating, you spent your time working hard and for someone to slide through life made your blood boil.

Steve didn’t usually spend his free time searching through the cafeteria for people, people usually found him. Tommy and Carol had already motioned him over, their new friend Billy already gone somewhere else, and Vicki and Tina had called for him to join them, but Steve had to handle something first. He didn’t really know what he was looking for, he wasn’t certain he’d find it in there, but there wasn’t any shame in searching. He would ask someone for directions, but it seemed that nobody knew or cared where you were at any time.

You gave him a ‘D’. A god damned ‘D’! He was flummoxed, he thought his essay was shit, he wouldn’t pretend that he didn’t, but he had expected you to be a bit kinder. That was like the unexpected rule of everyone in the class, to grade on the curve. But you went in hard. All he wanted was some answers.

He saw first a flash of pencil stained hands in the air, then the shine of your hair under the florescent lights. You were talking with your hands, making Samantha Cameron laugh hard. He’d never seen you that animated, it made him smile for reasons he didn’t quite understand.

He chuckled, coming up behind you in the hopes that your ease would stick around if he didn’t announce his presence. “You really gave me a D on my paper? What did I do to deserve that?” he asked.

Apparently, you really couldn’t smile when he was around. Both you and Samantha’s smiles dropped, your punky friend dropping her gaze as you were forced to turn around. “Oh…um…well I mean it…maybe I need to look it over again, I was probably being too harsh…” you stuttered, unable to keep yourself from burning up.  You prayed that he hadn’t heard what you were saying. That would’ve been awful.

“Hey, it’s cool, the paper’s no good, it’s no big deal.” That was a lie of sorts, when Steve saw the big red ‘D’, his heart dropped. And he really didn’t believe that you were as innocent as you seemed. You seemed guilty over something.

“Well…I’m sorry anyway. I didn’t mean to bother you…” you apologized. You hoped he’d go away; you’d never been more uncomfortable around a person than Steve Harrington. You didn’t know why, but something about him made gave you more butterflies than other people did, he scared you for reasons you couldn’t quite understand.

“You didn’t bother me, don’t worry.” Steve chuckled awkwardly. You wouldn’t look him in the eye, it was throwing him off. “So, listen, I don’t want to fail this class,” he huffed out a sigh, rubbing the back of his neck “Could you maybe help me rewrite this thing?”

You looked to Samantha, unsure if you could even speak words anymore, but she was smirking into her pot roast. Absolutely no help at all. You tried to smile “Um…sure, I can’t promise I’ll be much help though…” your voice was hoarse and unsure of itself. You hated that you’d said yes, but you couldn’t bring yourself to refuse. What if he got mad? Or yelled at you? You couldn’t handle being ridiculed or yelled at, you’d die.

Steve chuckled “Any help I can get is good enough. I can meet you in the library after school, okay?” he said, turning his gaze to Tommy’s hollering from across the cafeteria. He waved him over with both hands, like a sailor on a sinking ship, trying to beckon Steve back to where he belonged. Steve nodded, holding up his index finger, he only needed one minute.

“Sure, yeah that’ll work.” You said, fiddling with a thread hanging from the edge of your grey sweatshirt. You’d painted a little pink flower on the inside of the sleeve. When Steve saw it, he couldn’t help but smile at it; it looked so sweet and earnest.

“Alright, I’ll see you then.” He left after that, heading over to Tommy, who was frustrated beyond belief. He took his seat easily, stealing the pudding cup off of Carol’s tray wordlessly.

“What did that freak want?” Tommy asked loudly, his eyes blown wide. Carol was painting her nails, not even bothering to look up from her work. Tommy made no attempts to hide his dislike of you. He’d expected his best friend since the second grade to feel the same.

“She’s nice, we’re doing an assignment together.” Steve replied with a shrug, pulling the plastic covering off the cup, sticking the plastic spoon into the vanilla pudding.

Across the room, Samantha grabbed onto your hands with a giddy grin. “Look at my little girl! She’s got plans, with a boy!” she squealed, swinging your arms back and forth over the table.

“Jesus, can you please stop acting so straight? You’re gonna scare Robin off.” You yanked your hands away, watching with a grin as she turned her attention back to looking around the room excitedly. You let your eyes find Steve in the cafeteria, the buzz of fear filling your ears. You couldn’t believe that you agreed to meet him anywhere. You wanted to disappear.

You couldn’t focus on anything for the rest of the day. Your mind had gone into a feral sort of panic mode, pumping fear through your veins and turning your palms cold. When the final bell rang, it took all your strength and courage to not run all the way home. You knew that if you didn’t show, the problem wouldn’t go away. You’d just have to deal with the results of ditching the next day, and if not done now, then you’d have to deal with it another day. You clutched your books tight to your chest, sitting on the bench outside the library, trying to keep the butterflies from bursting out of your mouth. Your hands kept coming to your hair, trying to fix it or keep it away from your ears, maybe just to comfort yourself. It had dried weird and you worried that it looked ridiculous.

You saw his shoes come up to yours before you saw his face, royal blue Adidas with white and red details and dirty laces. You noted your own dirty white Converse, marked with mud and lyrics to songs that Samantha wrote on the toes. “Hey, you ready to do this?” Steve asked. You looked up and nodded, swallowing hard.

You wouldn’t make eye contact with him again. It was really starting to freak him out. He didn’t know what he did wrong, but it seemed like you really didn’t like him. Still, you’d agreed to help him and he wouldn’t take that for granted. He’d read your essay twice and it was good. He didn’t know much about good writing, but he knew that Mr. Lawrence would like it, that it would get a good grade. And he wanted decent grades too, so he could get into college and get his dad off his back.

The Hawkins High library was fairly quiet after school, most students headed back home or to after school clubs.  Only a few stragglers remained, mostly using electric typewriters and returning books to poor Mrs. Mueller, who always kept the library open till four, waiting for her husband, the head of custodial staff, to finish his work. She smiled at you when you walked in. Mrs. Mueller was a nice woman who let you sit in the library during lunch and always checked in on you when you seemed alone. She was your favourite teacher, despite never having a class taught by her.

Steve chose a table in the dead centre of the room, dropping his blue bag on the wooden chair next to him and pulling out his papers. You carefully followed suite, folding your hands in your lap, unsure what to do with them. Steve smiled at you, sliding the essay towards you “So, what am I doing wrong?” he asked.

You narrowed your eyes, unsure where to begin. You picked up the paper, and then open your notebook, writing down everything the story seemed to be about. Steve watched you, utterly confused.  Once you had every down, you set down your pen. “Okay,” you didn’t look up from your paper, sliding the essay to the middle of the table. “Tell me what your paper is about.”

“What? You read it, you should know.” Steve laughed awkwardly.

“Humour me.” You replied, looking up slowly to meet his eye. Steve’s smiled dropped, looking at you for a second. You broke eye contact first, but he wished he had been able to hold it for a moment longer.

“Okay, well,” he took a deep breath “I wrote about my family’s trip to our cottage on Miami Beach, and I talked about what I did. Nothing much.”

“Okay, because what you actually wrote isn’t really about that. What you told me is that you went to Miami Beach, your parents own a dirty beach house that was your grandparent’s house and that they’re both dead, that your grandfather fought in World War Two and that the medals were framed in the house, that you met a girl on the beach but she didn’t like you, and that the flight was long.” You explained. You still couldn’t believe that he’d fit all of that into a page of work.

“So?” Steve asked. That was all true of his last trip. Mind you, that was way back in middle school and the details were hazy.

“So, that’s a lot of information that I don’t care about. You can cut all of the stuff about your grandparents, which takes up like half of it. And when you cut that, all I know is that the beach house is in Miami Beach and you met a girl and the flight was long. That’s not bad, but I’d like to know a bit more about it.” You said, taking back the essay from the middle of the page and crossed out every line about his grandparents.

“What do I say instead then?” Steve asked, watching as you crossed out half his page, trying not to sound defeated. You were basically saying that he had to start all over again.

“Well, tell me about the beach? Pretend like I’ve never been. What’s there to do, what’d you like about it?” you shrugged. You found yourself feeling a tad bit calmer; the butterflies had calmed their intense flapping and had let you breathe.

Steve sighed “I don’t know, I’m just bullshitting.”

“What’d you mean?” you asked.

“I mean, I didn’t go on there, I haven’t been to our beach house since I was a kid.” Steve looked away. He was embarrassed to have been caught in a lie, even more knowing that now he’d have to rewrite his whole paper.

“Oh…what’d you actually do on your break?” you hadn’t expected him to be lying about anything, a snow bird spring break trip sounded about right for his family, they were always bragging about their money.

Steve chuckled “Oh no, nothing worth writing an essay on.” You looked up at him again. He seemed a bit sad. You pulled another sheet of paper from your trapper keeper, setting it overtop the last one.

“Tell me about it.” You smiled at him despite yourself. He was bit easier to talk to than you’d imagined.

Steve swallowed, nodding despite himself. “Well, I mean my parents went to the beach house and I tried to throw a party, you probably heard about how that went.” He rubbed at the back of his neck.

“No…” you shook your head. Steve wasn’t expecting that. Everyone had heard about the failed party, he’d gotten shit about it for weeks.

“Well, I couldn’t get any supplies, so I cancelled and hung out with Tommy and Carol instead. We got drunk in my backyard and Carol fell in the pool. She was so pissed. Then, I pretty much just hung about town, helped my buddy Dustin beat Dragon’s Lair at the arcade.” Steve didn’t really like admitting how lame his life was, he purposefully left out how Tommy and Carol only hung out with him when he went to pick up some weed from his older brother and they wanted a hit off it. Admitting that his life wasn’t that great made him feel small and like it was out of his control, which was not exactly a good feeling.

“Okay, tell me about the little party you had with Tommy and Carol. What was the night like? Was it fun? Did you jump in the pool too or did you watch her fall and laugh?” You had written down the few details in a bubble tree and added more details as he explained his time more thoroughly. You managed to get a bit more information on both events, learning more about his friend Dustin and the game they played.

When he was finished, you slid the page over to him. He took it, eyebrow raised in confusion, but you spoke before he could ask any questions. “This is your blue print. I wrote down everything you told me; now just turn it into an essay. The whole trick about these assignments is that you’re telling a story, and to make it interesting you have to give us details, and not about your grandparents or other things that don’t add to the story at hand, about what actually was happening.” You explained, checking the plastic watch on your wrist. It was almost four and Mrs. Mueller had already passed your table twice, her silent warning to leave. Everyone else who had been there had long left and you became very aware of how alone you were with him. The butterflies started their flapping again, churning tides in your stomach.

Steve smiled “Okay, I promise it’ll be interesting though.” He chuckled.

You shrugged “I promise that it’s more interesting than what you had before.” You shoved your papers into your bag, standing quickly “If you want me to look at it again before you hand it in, just bring it to me in class, alright? The library’s closing so I should go.”

“You want a ride home?” you spun around to look at him, crossing your arms over your paint splattered sweatshirt. The rain storm of the morning was long forgotten and you didn’t know what the weather looked like now. A part of you wanted to take the ride, but a much bigger part of you told you to run away.

You shook your head “No, um my friend Samantha said she’d drive me after her soccer practise, she’s probably waiting for me.” You lied straight through your teeth, adjusting your backpack straps on your shoulders.

“Oh…sure, yeah, I’ll see you around.” Steve stood slowly, tucking in his chair. You waved politely and headed out. The rain had stopped, thank god, and you rushed to your locker, grabbing your wet clothes from your locker before making your way outside. The field was muddy, practise was probably cancelled. You took the long way home that afternoon, cutting through the woods and the muddy park to avoid being spotted by Harrington on the way and getting caught in a lie.

The afternoon had gone well. And that scared the shit out of you.

[anna-justice]

Lost or Found - 9

Summary: As Jay, Hailey, Kim, Adam and Kevin start their junior year in the wake of a tragic summer, the past year of their lives comes back to haunt them. If you enjoyed Pretty Little Liars, this is for you! *UPSTEAD/BURZEK High School AU

...

9 - Happiness is a Butterfly ...

Hailey leaned against Jay’s truck while she waited for him, once again he was her ride home. The events from the night before replayed in her head and she couldn’t keep the smile off her face when she saw him walking toward her. They hadn’t spoken alone since it happened, they had seen each other in class of course, but they were surrounded by their friends. She wasn’t sure what she was expecting from him, as close as they had gotten she still couldn’t read him. She wasn’t sure anybody could.

The smile on Hailey’s face was priceless as Jay approached her, his stomach churned with guilt, but Adam’s words were ingrained in his brain. He enjoyed the fleeting moment of complete happiness while it lasted, pretending that he wasn’t going to have to end whatever existed between them in a few short moments. As much as he hated it, it wasn’t fair to her. She deserves someone who knew exactly what they wanted and how they were feeling and not wrapped up in all the shit that they were.

“Hey stranger.” She said smirking, Jay took her in. She was leaning against his truck, and for some reason the sight of her pushing herself off of it had him feeling some type of way. Her blonde hair was falling down over her shoulders, which was a rare occurrence, and her black ripped jeans were a perfect fit.

Jay snapped out of his trance, suddenly realizing that she was probably watching his eyes scan her body. “Hey.” He rounded the truck to the drivers side, “Good day?” He asked over the roof.

Hailey used the running board to launch her small frame into the front seat, causing Jay to stifle a laugh. “Yeah, you?”

Jay nodded, “Pretty good.” He revved the engine and pulled out of the parking space. “Adam almost glued his hand to his face during shop.”

Hailey laughed, “I wish I could’ve seen that.”

“Don’t worry, I took pictures,” Jay said, giving her a cheeky grin.

Hailey returned the favor, turning to look out the window. She watched the houses go by and placed her hand on the center console next to where Jay’s was already resting, she kept her eyes trained on the blur of trees. She waited patiently for the moment when he would intertwine their hands, but moved hers back to her lap when she realized it wasn’t coming. Pink flush tinted her cheeks and she didn’t dare look at him now.

Jay grimaced as Hailey pulled her hand away, it took everything in him not to take it out of her lap. He wasn’t quite sure how to go about the whole situation, he cared deeply about her and the last thing he wanted to do was hurt her. That was the very thing he was trying to avoid. The selfish part of him wanted to just say “screw it” and be with her, life was short, they all knew that now. But all the reasons why he kissed her were also  why he shouldn’t have.

“Hailey--”

“Jay don’t.” She said, finally turning to face him. “Don’t explain anything please. I get it.”

Jay swallowed hard, “I’m sorry--”

“Let’s just pretend it didn’t happen.” She cut him off again.

Jay considered trying to explain again, but he figured it was a mute point. He wasn’t going to be able to get a word in.

In the passenger seat Hailey’s eyes stung. Out of all the ways that she could have imagined this conversation going, she wasn’t prepared for this one. Hell, it wasn’t even a conversation, but she knew exactly what would’ve been said. Hailey didn’t want a half assed explanation or an apology, it had been a mistake, he had made a mistake, there was nothing that she could do about it. Groveling or talking it out wouldn’t dull the pain in her chest, thankfully she had gotten pretty good at ignoring the feeling all together.

She busied herself on her phone, texting Kim to see if she could come over. She was in some serious need of girl time. As soon as she responded Hailey spoke up. “Can you take me to Kim’s house please?” She never looked over at him, she kept her eyes trained on the road.

Jay nodded and took the next left instead of right. The drive was short, and Hailey already had her seatbelt unbuckled before they even reached the driveway. “Hailey, I’m sorry.” He said as she got out.

“It’s fine, Jay, really. I’ll see you tomorrow.” And with that she slammed the door.

…

Less than 10 minutes later Jay found himself sitting in Adam’s room. He thought he was going to be spending the afternoon with Hailey, but obviously plans changed. Instead he was sitting on the floor with his U.S. History textbook open in front of him. Homework stopped for no man, or stalker for that matter.

Adam groaned, spinning around to face Jay. “Have you done the pre-calc homework yet?”

“Man, I haven’t even started.” Jay said, cracking a smile.

“Damnit.” Adam grumbles, “I’m never going to finish this, Wilson is a tyrant.”

Jay knew exactly what Adam was talking about, their history teacher, Mrs. Wilson had assigned them three chapters to read plus notes and it had to be done by the next class. Which unfortunately was tomorrow. “I’m halfway through chapter two.” Jay said, holding up his scribbled notebook.

“I’ll give you the answers to half of the pre-cal work if you give me your chapter one notes.” Adam proposed. Jay chuckled and shook his head. “I don’t want your pre-cal work.” Adam glared at him, but Jay handed him the notes from the first chapter anyway.

“I love you.” Adam said as he fake prayed to Jay, who kicked his hands away. “I don’t know how the girls are doing it, AP, I swear Kim is taking twenty-five of them this year.”

Jay nodded in agreement, “I don’t either.”

The two worked in silence for a long time. Finally Jay broke it by sighing dramatically. “I’m done.” Adam cocked an eyebrow, “With the history shit.” He reluctantly pulled out his pre-calc textbook and flipped to the correct page. The assignment sheet said problems 35-63, it was going to be a long night

“So, did you talk to Hailey?” Jay looked between his homework and Adam, math was sounding a lot better than the latter at the moment.

“Yep.” Jay said, avoiding Adam’s gaze. “Translating log functions…” He trailed off, attempting to get Adam off his ass.

It worked for a few minutes, Jay had managed to get a few problems under his belt before Adam spoke up again. “Okay, it’s killing me. What happened?” Adam leaned forward in his chair, smirking slightly.

“Nothing really.” He sighed, chuckling a bit. “She didn’t even let me get a word in.”

“Sheesh, that bad?”

Jay shook his head, “I honestly don’t know, she just said that she understood and I didn’t have to explain.”

Adam cocked an eyebrow, “I don’t know if you are the luckiest son of a bitch in the world or if you are just out of touch with reality.” Jay shrugged. “You sure she’s not pissed?” Adam asked.

“One hundred percent.”

…

“I’m pissed.” Hailey said to Kim as she ran her fingers through her hair. She had told Kim what happened as she paced around the room, Kim sat on her bed clutching a pillow. “I completely understand where he is coming from. I get it, there is so much going on right now, neither of us really needs to be in a relationship right now.” She stopped her back and forth motions. “Just--why did he kiss me just to shut me down?”

Kim shrugged, giving her a kind smile. “I don’t know Hailes.” Kim didn’t know how to comfort her friend, Adam was her first boyfriend and they had jumped right in the deep end, so far it had worked out well for them. She watched Hailey cautiously as she stared into the full length mirror leaning against the wall, she fiddled with her shirt, pulling it away from her stomach. Hailey stuck her leg out in front of her, looking at herself in a different way. Kim sighed, “Hailey, stop.” She said.

Her friend turned to face her, her eyes glassy. Kim jumped up and hugged her, ignoring the fact that Hailey was not a hugger. Hailey pulled away a little while later and wiped under her eye. “I’m sorry.” Kim kept a comforting hand on her shoulder. “I don’t even understand what’s wrong with me. I just-I just keep thinking about Erin.”

Hailey felt terrible, feeling jealous of a dead girl was not a good feeling. Not only that, but how can someone make you feel self-conscious from the grave? She hated comparing herself to Erin, she just couldn’t help it.

“Hailey you are allowed to be upset about this.” Kim said. “You can understand him and forgive him and still be upset.” Hailey nodded, hating herself for yet another moment of weakness. First with Jay, now with Kim, she was letting her walls down more and more. Telling them about her dad had been a step in the wrong direction, letting people in only got you hurt, today proved that. “You wanna go get ice cream?”

“Yeah.”

…

Jay was pretty sure that his pile of homework was endless, he had finally gotten back to work after he and Adam’s short conversation about Hailey, but he wasn’t getting much done. A familiar ringtone sounded throughout the room and both of their heads shot up. Looks like they were done for the night. Jay grabbed Erin’s phone out of the bag and read the message out loud.

Blocked ID: There’s already been one heart broken today, let’s make it two. It’s time for the heartbreaker to go back to his old ways. Call Kim and end it.

“No. I’m not doing it.” Adam said.

“Adam--”

“No Jay.” He ran his hands through his hair and down his face. “She is my person, she gets hurt either way, I can only protect her from one.”

Jay nodded, he wasn’t sure if he could let go of Hailey if he had to. There had to be a way to save everybody. “We should probably go over there.”

“Let’s go.”

…

Fifteen minutes after Hailey and Kim were headed for Kim’s car. It was parked in the free standing garage behind their house. Kim unclasped the latch on the door and pushed it up, entering keys in hand.

“What are you thinking? Scoops?” Kim asked.

Hailey turned to face her, ready to respond, but there was a loud crack. “Ki--” She tried to scream, but before she could the dark shadow reached her and the baseball bat made contact with her head.

Kim woke up groaning, she didn’t remember how she had gotten where she was, but she knew her head hurt like hell. She pried herself on the floor and scanned the room. She was pretty sure she was in her garage, it was dark so obviously the door was closed and her car was running.

She began to panic, “Hailey? Hailey…” She breathed out, her chest felt heavy and as she stood up she used the wall for balance.

Hailey woke up to the sound of her name, she touched her hand to her forehead, pulling it away to find it red with blood. Kim eventually reached the driver side door and pulled as hard as she could, causing herself to go stumbling backwards. It was locked.

“Kim?” Hailey asked, pushing herself up. Her head was swimming. “What happened?”

Kim fought back tears as she yanked the handle again. “I don’t know, but we have to get out of here.”

It was in that moment that Hailey understood the gravity of the situation. They were trapped with a running car. She thought back to the safety training classes they had in middle school. There was no doubt that they were both suffering from carbon monoxide poisoning, they needed to stay awake.

“Do you-Do you want to try to lift up the door?” Hailey asked, stumbling over her words. Kim nodded and they both got to the garage door as fast as they could. “Ok, 1-2-3.” They both pulled with all their strength, which was fleeting fast.

Kim took a breath, “L-Let’s try a-again.” Hailey positioned herself again and the girls pulled with everything in them. There was no way that door was budging. Kim’s eyes filled again, this was the closest to death that she had ever been and she wasn’t ready for it.

Hailey looked around, trying to find anything to get them out of there. She spotted a tennis racket leaned against the back wall and she rushed toward it. “Kim! We can try and break a window.” There was no response. “Kim?” Hailey panicked when she saw the way Kim had herself braced against the car, her chest heaving.

“Hailey I can’t breathe.” Hailey took that as an opportunity to jam the handle of the rackett into the driver’s side window. It didn’t make a dent, she hit it again and again, but in her current state she wasn’t strong enough. Kim gagged and then proceeded to empty the contents of her stomach onto the floor. Hailey gave up on the rackett and rushed to her side. “Oh shit, Kim.” She knew that wasn’t a good sign. Kim fell to her knees and Hailey went with her, trying to keep her from hitting the floor too hard. “You have to stay awake.” Kim nodded, bracing herself against the floor. She needed help. Her phone.

Hailey pried herself off the floor once again and maneuvered herself to the garage door when she had first gone down. It had to be around there somewhere. She heard a thud behind her and turned to see Kim collapsed on the floor. The fast turn of her head sent her tumbling into the wall and she ricocheted onto the floor. Hailey laid there completely helpless, she was out of strength and out of time.

Adam pulled into Kim’s driveway with Jay in the front and Kevin in the back.  He was a nervous wreck and was out of the car before it was completely in park. “Kim!” He shouted. They checked the backdoor, which was the only door her family used, it was locked and no lights were on in the house.

“Hailey?” Jay yelled, neither of them were answering their phone.

Kevin walked towards the garage, he heard a rumbling. “Dude do you think someone’s in there?”

“Hailey!” The voice got Hailey’s attention, causing her to lift her head up off the floor. “Hailey, where are you?” The voice shouted again. Using every ounce of strength she had left, Hailey kicked the garage door and let her head hit the floor again, hoping that it would be enough.

All three boys heard the thud against the door and scrambled to get it open. The sight in front of them was terrifying, they all gasped and sprung into action. Jay was immediately at Hailey’s side, he flipped her over and pressed his hand to the gash on her forehead. “Hailey, stay with me.”

Hailey’s eyes fluttered open, but only for a second. The image of him leaning over her was coming in and out of focus, almost to the point where Hailey thought it was a dream. “Jay?” It was barely audible, but it was music to his ears.

“Yeah Hailes. It’s me, I’m here.” He said, grabbing her hand. “Hailey’s awake!” He called to Adam and Kevin, Kevin nodded before relaying information to the 911 operator. He had called amongst the craziness.

“Kim’s not.” Adam cried out, clutching his girlfriend in his arms. “Man she threw up and she’s not responding.”

Jay grimaced, he was splitting his attention between the two of them. He felt for Adam, but he had to keep Hailey awake. “Did you shake her?”

“Jay, I tried everything!” He yelled back, Jay realized it was a stupid question the moment he asked it, but he didn’t know what to do.

He focused on Hailey again, who’s eyes were threatening to close again. “Hailey, Hailey, you’ve got to stay awake.” He said, gripping her hand harder. “You’re safe, everything is going to be fine, but I need you to stay awake.

Hailey squeezed his hand, showing him that she understood. She focused on taking deep breaths, she felt like she could finally breathe again. The sound of sirens was a welcome assault to her ears, in what felt like no time she was in the back of the ambulance, but in the process she had been ripped away from Jay.

The paramedics were telling her the same thing Jay was, that she had to keep her eyes open, that she had to stay awake, but they weren’t as convincing. And after fighting for what felt like hours, Hailey let herself drift away.

…

A/N: Wow this was a long chapter! First, I’m sorry for writing Adam like a little bitch but I love him and I think he’s funny. Second, I know Hailey is a little softer in this than she is on the show, but they are still in high school and I feel like she would be more emotional and unpredictable at this age. Thanks for reading!

[jenoptimist]

 there was something freaky about the Jeongs and you were going to find out what it was

When the girls around you squealed loudly, you had to wonder if it was really worth being in the indoor community basketball court where your school’s team was playing against another school from a town miles away.

It wasn’t that you had anything against the sport–your dad was an avid fan of the sport which in turn meant that while you weren’t particularly fond of it you certainly respected it. It wasn’t even because you had some sort of grudge against the players, who were all more or less great guys. It was just that there was this really big focus on Jeong Jaehyun. And he was great. Really, he was. He deserved all the hype that he got. Jaehyun excelled in school; class president since forever, always number one in exams and he was even good at sports. Another notable thing was that he was also incredibly kind with good manners and a boy-next-door sort of charm about him that often had people swooning over him, from teenagers to the elderly. 

But there was something freaky about him.

Sometimes he went around like he knew something nobody else did and would walk around unseeingly. On semi-frequent occasions you swore that he’d swing his head around to look at you incredulously or smile to himself, head tipped downwards like he was trying to contain his laughter, as if he heard what you said. Which would be normal and all–if you were in his vicinity. But, no, you would be at your designated spot in the cafeteria chatting with Minghao and Sicheng or walking behind the crowd of students during a field trip, and he would just incline his head so that he could look at you. There were also the times where he would be extremely irritable, not come in for a day or two and then come back and act like his usual self. That didn’t happen often but they occurred enough for you to notice–you didn’t know how he got away with it, one of your suspicions inclued that he was secretly a witch or something. Although you knew that the more logical reason was because he was dubbed as the town’s Golden Boy.

However it wasn’t just him, his entire family was freaky. It wasn’t something that you could put your finger on, not exactly, but you knew that they weren’t just any normal family.

There wasn’t any evidence to support your claim, not that you said it out loud or anything because contrary to what your brothers have said about you, you did, indeed, have some self-preservation and self-awareness. Besides, it wasn’t your fault that you had a tendency make more reckless decisions than they did. At that point your mother had already abandoned her dreams for another one of her children to become a doctor. Which was the best, honestly, because it gave you more freedom to do what you wanted.

Even with your lack of evidence you knew that they were just weird. But what was weirder was that nobody seemed to notice that they were weird. Apart from you that was. Everybody seemed to be blinded by the fact that they were a wholesome, good-doing family that were pleasing to the eye–they were practically local celebrities with the way people fawned over them. It was a great achievement that their ancestors founded your small town years and years and years ago, really, it was, but it was strange that not one person from any generation left for somewhere else, like a big city or something. Did nobody find that strange? Was it really possible that nobody in their family tree took the chance to book it as soon as they graduated high school?

The girls surrounding you screamed hysterical encouragements when Jaehyun managed to steal the ball from an opposing player, spun around and began zooming towards the other end of the court before you could blink. You narrowed your eyes when you noticed that halfway down the court, Jaehyun seemed to catch himself. It was barely there, his expression of realization, before he slowed down which allowed the other players on the team to catch up to him.

There was something freaky about the Jeongs alright, and you were going to find out exactly what it was.

*

There wasn’t any sort of plan that you had in mind to carry out your investigation to uncover the truth, in fact you didn’t even know where to begin and so that paired with the overwhelming amount of homework you obtained meant that you pushed it to the back-burner. You were up to your eyeballs in various essays and math problems that you barely had time to breathe, granted it was your fault that you left a few last minute but the point still stood.

It was your poor time management that brought you to hurriedly end the sentence of the last paragraph on your poetry essay. Fortunately Mrs.Kim collected them at the end of her classes which often worked in your favor. If Sicheng knew that you didn’t finish your assignment he would have scolded you for ages seeing as he was basically an advocate for education which was fitting since him and Jaehyun were in an unsaid competition for valedictorian and salutatorian. Although what he didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him and you would be lecture free.

“...and that is all for today, please hand over your assignments to the person in front of you and pass them up.” Mrs.Kim ended class earlier than usual and you have been seasoned enough to learn that that meant she had something up her sleeve. After she received everyone’s essays she placed them on her desk and spun quickly to face the class. “For your next assignment, you are going to work on a project. It’s worth fifty percent of your grade and you can choose whatever topic you want as long as it remains relevant to writing or English composition. Since it’s worth that much, you’ll have until the end of the term.” There were no objections until she added, “I’m going to call out your assigned partner.”

The only person you were friends with in the class was Minghao and the two of you looked at each other in synchronization with matching faces of dread. It wasn’t that you particularly disliked anybody in the class, what with the town so small that you basically grew up everyone in your year, but it sure would be amazing if you could work with one of your best friends. Minghao having an affinity for creative writing and such was only a bonus.

You remained hopeful as Mrs.Kim read through her list since she didn’t call out either of your names. That was until she said, “Minghao and Yugyeom.” You slumped in your chair, placing your cheek in the palm of your hand as you moodily waited for your name to be called. “Y/n and Jaehyun.” 

The name of your partner had you straightening up in your seat, ignoring the envious gazes shot your way. This was great, you could totally ace this project and jump at the opportunity to analyze Jaehyun at a closer level. When you turned to glance at him, you found him looking at you already so you gave him what you hoped was a friendly smile before you diverted your attention back to where Mrs.Kim was finishing off calling out the names.

When the class was over, you packed up your stuff and zoomed over to Minghao. He threw his arm around your shoulder and the two of you started mock crying over the fact that you weren’t project partners as you walked over to the cafeteria. 

“I mean,” he said as he chewed on his apple, “at least we get to make new friends?” 

Before you could even reply, there was a small ‘thud’ of a tray being dropped on the table and when you looked over at Minghao’s right, you found Yugyeom about to sit down. The sound was repeated on your left and you weren’t entirely surprised to find Jaehyun settling in the empty seat beside you. 

“Um,” he arched his eyebrows in a questioning manner, “that’s Sicheng’s seat.”

The corner of Jaehyun’s lip quirked upwards, “Sicheng has lunch with you guys later.” That time it was your turn to arch your brow at him quizzically. How did he know when Sicheng had lunch with you and when he didn’t? It was weird. But then again you knew that the other jocks had lunch later too, although that was basically common knowledge wasn’t it? Refusing your thoughts to spiral, you chalked it up to his freakiness instead. He definitely saw your expression though he did nothing but give you his award winning smile.

“Uh, okay,” you turned to face Minghao but found him and Yugyeom immersed in conversation. “So,” you said as you bit into your sandwich, “our project.”

“Our project,” Jaehyun parroted with a nod, “anything you want to do?”

“I haven’t really thought about it.” That was a small lie, you wanted to do something related to ancient folklore or Greek Mythology, or basically anything to do with mythical creatures in history or something. But you weren’t about to tell him that because you knew that not everybody had a fascination for Greek Mythology and the like, since it wasn’t as if every kid read the Percy Jackson & the Olympians when they were growing up and developed a somewhat obsessive fascination with them. “What about you?”

Jaehyun considered you for a moment, head slightly tilted, his dark eyes boring into you. “Yeah, same.” There was a small pause. “Well, how about you come to my place on Friday? We could, you know, brainstorm and stuff.” When you nodded your agreement, you traded phone numbers and dispersed when it was time for your next class.

*

“What do you think of the Jeongs?” You asked as you piled vegetables onto your plate. It was a rare evening where your entire family was present for dinner since your both your dad and oldest brother had early shifts at the hospital. It was a great opportunity to gather some intel on Jaehyun and his family. 

“Mrs.Jeong is a great mayor.” Is the reply you earned from your mom once she finished chewing her food, “she’s fair, kind and always thinks about the citizens. But she’s also firm and nobody can do anything without her knowing.”

“Mr.Jeong is the same,” your dad answered before including, “very hands on and always ready to help.” When you looked to Gongmyung for confirmation, he nodded and gave you a thumbs up.

“And Jaehyun?” You asked somewhat hesitantly. The chances of them knowing him were large considering whenever you went to visit the hospital to bring lunch to your dad and Gongmyung, Jaehyun was around talking to whoever–staff, patients, visitors. Your mom probably knew him because he was one of the volunteers to help bag items at the grocery store. Judging what they said about his parents, they would probably sing his praises and not include anything they found off about him.

Doyoung, who had been eyeing you curiously, said, “are you asking what we think about them as some sort of”–he swung his chopsticks around as if it would help him find the word–“approval thing? Do you have a crush on Jaehyun or something?”

The question had you choking on your food, shaking your head vehemently. It was concerning that your mom brightened at what your brother said, eyes sparkling with hope as she batted her eyelashes at you. Gongmyung and your dad furrowed their brows, staring at their plate of food in a huff.

“Oh shut up frog face!” You retorted once you got yourself together. “I do not have a crush on Jaehyun”–from the corner of your eye, you saw your mom deflate into her seat and Gongmyung release a small sigh–“we have a project together and he invited me over on Friday so,” you trailed off, trying to find the right words, “I guess I just wanted to know if, um, you guys are alright with them or whatever.”

Before Doyoung could reply, your mom butted in. “Well, why wouldn’t we be alright with them? They’re a lovely family.” She tittered with excitement, “a project, huh?”

“Yeah, for Mrs.Kim’s class.” You finished the last of your food. “So it’s okay if I go, right?”

“Of course!”

Gongmyung and your dad grumbled to themselves while your mom went on a tangent about baking something for you to bring over to them. Doyoung shrugged his shoulders when you passed him a look and took some meat off your plate, smiling unapologetically when you glared at him.

*

The Jeong residence was in the middle of nowhere. Okay, admittedly that was an exaggeration but it was only because they lived a few miles from the rest of the people who lived in the town. Practically everyone knew where they lived due to their choice of location. You had never been inside of their house before but you did go trick-or-treating there when you were younger. Doyoung used to tell you scary stories about how the Jeongs ate people because why else would they live in the woods, y/n?

Other variations of his story included how they buried ‘annoying little kids’ around the area. Gongmyung would scuff the back of his head and assure you that the Jeongs were definitely not people-eaters or buried kids. 

Maybe it was Doyoung’s fault that you always kept a watchful eye on Jaehyun growing up, what with all those stories. Although if he didn’t tell you those false tales, you wouldn’t have noticed that there was something up with your classmate. 

As you finally approached the Jeong house, you marveled at its appearance. There was a cute little stone path leading up to their house, various flowers littered here and there. The house itself was a very pretty and clean colonial house with a porch that had wooden seats and a table. How could Doyoung ever have scared you when their house was so inviting? It was probably the rest of the area, you supposed, since it was all dark, looming trees.

You hopped off your bike and held the handles as you walked up to their house. Unsure of where to leave it, you leaned it against their porch knowing that the chances of it being stolen were slim. Once you were sure it wouldn’t collapse on the patch of daisies, you removed the apple and cinnamon loaf that your mom made for the Jeongs.

It was when you fell on the second step that you were glad that you were holding on tightly to the pyrex loaf pan. If you broke it you wouldn’t want to know how your mom would react. You cradled it in relief and hoped that the jar in your backpack was in tact or else the stuff inside it would be a horrible, sticky mess until you could get home and wash it.

“Are you okay dear?” Mrs.Jeong’s voice chimed from above you and you found yourself looking at her concerned face when you glanced up. 

“‘m fine,” you winced slightly, rubbing at your leg, “probably gonna leave a bruise though.”

“Sorry about that,” she apologized, smiling at you serenely. “My husband was supposed to fix that in case we have any visitors.” She griped lowly, probably not wanting you to hear.

“Oh, uh, do you not get many visitors then?” You asked awkwardly as she lead you inside. What were you supposed to say to that? ‘Yeah that sucks, maybe you should invite more people over or something.’ Maybe it would have been better if you said nothing at all.

“Not really. Our other relatives live elsewhere and Jaehyun doesn’t really invite anybody here.” She sighed wistfully before turning to smile at you brightly, “so imagine my surprise when he told me that somebody would be coming here, and such a gorgeous somebody too.” 

There was a loud thump upstairs that had you pulling a face whereas Mrs.Jeong just chuckled to herself as if she were in some sort of inside joke. You didn’t know what to say in return but it seemed like she wasn’t expecting one anyway, judging from the way she turned around to lead you into the kitchen. 

“You have a very nice house.” You complimented once you took a seat by the island. It was open spaced and minimal, family photos here and there and you had to resist the urge to look at the baby pictures of Jaehyun. 

“Thank you, my husband and I weren’t too fond of the idea of getting too many items when inherited this house. Now, can I offer you something to drink?”

You shook your head. “No thank you. Oh, um, actually my mom made this for you,” you slid the loaf pan towards her before shrugging your backpack off and unzipped it, shoulders relaxing at the sight of the perfect condition of the mason jar. “She made this too. It’s peach jam. And that’s an apple and cinnamon loaf.”

“There was no need but thank so you so much. Jaehyun will love the jam.”

“Hey y/n.” Jaehyun greeted from behind you. You spun around and gave a flimsy wave, hoping that your smile wasn’t awkward. “C’mon we can go to my room.”

As you hopped off your seat, Mr.Jeong came from behind his son. “Oh, you must be y/n! It’s nice to finally meet you. Your dad talks about you all the time. Sorry ‘bout that step by the way, I’ll fix that as soon as possible.”

How did he know that you tripped on a step on your way in? The only explanation that you could come up with was that he either saw it happen, like maybe he was looking out the window for some reason, or maybe he was by the doorway and saw his wife standing over you. But that was impossible since you definitely would have seen him on your way in and you were absolutely sure that you didn’t. 

Not knowing what to say, and still confused, you chuckled awkwardly. Jaehyun looked as if he were restraining the urge to smack his hand on his face. “It’s nice to meet you too, sir.” You turned to face his mom, “you too, ma’am.” And with that you walked over to Jaehyun and allowed him to lead you to his room.

Just as he was about to close the door, he groaned and left it slightly ajar as he mumbled under his breath. You surveyed his room; there were various movie posters, which looked to be a mixture of thriller and horror, that covered up the entirety of one of the walls. There were a few fashion magazines spewed on his table, a stack of CDs on his shelf and little Pokémon figurines on his window sill. It was neater than you thought it would be, too. Cleaner than your room anyway for sure. 

You copied Jaehyun when he sat cross legged on his carpeted floor, placing your bag beside you. “So,” you began as you took your notebook and pencil case out of your bag. “Come up with any ideas?” 

“Yeah, I was thinking maybe we could focus on one author and analyze their work? Or that we could analyze a classic so that our project would only focus on one book instead of a lot of different ones.”

You hummed. “That sounds pretty good, were you thinking of any specific authors or books?”

When Jaehyun brought up that he was thinking of Jane Austen’s work and that he couldn’t decide between The Picture of Dorian Gray or Dracula, you launched into a long conversation about the pros and cons of each. Jaehyun’s passion was incredibly clear as he spoke and you were taken away with how absolutely alluring you found it. 

You weren’t blind, of course. You knew that Jaehyun was all sorts of attractive and that it was the main reason why so many people fawned over him in school. It was actually ironic considering how nobody batted their pretty eyelashes at him all throughout middle school but did a one eighty as soon as he joined the basketball team and lost his baby cheeks, trading them for a defined jawline and muscles instead. You always considered Jaehyun cute, even back then when he had that awful haircut and hadn’t grown into his ears yet, but having a clear look at him now it was obvious that you found him handsome. Anybody would be stupid not to think he was.

“You really don’t have anything that you want to do?” Jaehyun asked after your lengthy conversation, searching your eyes. “I’m completely okay if we don’t do my idea.”

Although you couldn’t handle the intensity in his eyes, you held his gaze head on as you replied. “Yeah, I had an idea but I didn’t know if you would be, like, into it or anything.” He prompted you to continue with a movement of his hand, giving you a small boost of confidence. “I was thinking maybe we could do something on ancient folklore or Greek Mythology? Like, maybe we could relate it with cultural impact and stuff like that? I dunno, we don’t have to do it.”

“Ancient folklore?” Jaehyun repeated, “do you mean like with mythical creatures and stuff?”

You nodded. “Yeah exactly. Griffins, chimeras, the fae, vampires and werewolves.”

“That sounds interesting,” he replied after a moments of silence, a pensive expression written on his face, “there probably won’t be a lot of groups doing that topic.” You agreed with his statement by nodding your head. “Okay we should do that then! What mythical creature should we start with first?”

*

Surprisingly, the project was going pretty well. Within almost two months, the two of you gathered a bunch of information online and from the local library in between Jaehyun’s basketball practice and extracurricular activities. It also helped that Jaehyun had extensive knowledge, as did his parents, and they even had a few books of their own that helped to gather necessary information. Although you had to admit, it was quite frustrating whenever Jaehyun shot down any possible facts regarding certain creatures, vampires and werewolves especially. You hadn’t snapped at him yet but you were definitely on the brink of it, all it would take was one more unimpressed stare that he often paired with a dismissive wave.

Another surprising thing that resulted in doing the project was that you and Jaehyun had actually formed a friendship. The Jeongs had come over to your house for dinner several times and vice versa, your mom had ample amounts of peach jam for whenever Jaehyun came over, Mrs.Jeong stocked up her fridge with your favorite soda, and your brothers seemed to have taken Jaehyun under their wing–they did things like go fishing on the weekends and played video games together. Jaehyun and his jock friends even started sitting at your table and greeted you whenever they saw you in the hallway. It was actually really nice, and if Minghao and Sicheng weren’t professionals at sulking, you would have considered Jaehyun as one of your close friends–maybe even one of your best friends and you knew that was weird but there was a feeling you couldn’t explain whenever you were with him. Like you have known him for as long as you’d lived, which was technically true since everybody knew everybody in your town.

Honestly, you had almost forgotten about your opinion about the Jeongs being freaky because it was really easy to overlook their unorthodox behavior (which you weren’t completely sure whether or not they did it on purpose to try in hint that they were other) when they accepted how easily you and your family slotted into their lives.

“Hey loser,” Jaehyun grumbled as he dropped his tray and took the seat beside you, his arm automatically sliding across your shoulder, his hand lingering on the nape of your neck for a millisecond.

That was something that you noticed the Jeongs did a lot–touching you whenever possible, also including your whole family whenever it was possible. At first it started off with little touches like Mrs.Jeong rubbing the back of your head, Mr.Jeong giving you high fives and Jaehyun’s hand lingering somewhat firmly on your arm whenever he needed your attention for something. Eventually Mrs.Jeong would hug you tightly whenever you entered and left their home, Mr.Jeong would pat your head affectionately or clap the back of your shoulders, and Jaehyun?

He did all sorts of touching, a combination of the lot. It seemed that his preferred way, though, was to wrap his arm around your shoulders and push you into his side. When the other students started noticing his favor towards you, a lot of them had asked if you were together but before you could ever say anything, Jaehyun would be there, paralyzing them with his smile and swivelled you away from them. 

You couldn’t exactly pinpoint what had triggered the Jeongs to start being so affectionately with you but you were sure that it had something to do with the afternoon that Jaehyun fell asleep in your presence when the two of you were watching a movie. Mrs.Jeong had walked in, glanced between the two of you repeatedly and you couldn’t help but noticed how her expression softened. You remembered looking at her helplessly when Jaehyun threw his arm around you and pushed you closer but she did nothing but wink and exit the room, leaving you confined next to him for the next couple of hours.

Truthfully, you didn’t mind that they were so affectionate with you. It wasn’t as if you were touch starved or anything, but it was nice to know that there were other people who cared for you that weren’t limited to your family, Minghao and Sicheng. It made you feel part of something, even if you didn’t know what it was. You had suspicions of course, but you didn’t want to reveal your cards just yet.

“What’s up,” you greeted, easily melting into his side. You wouldn’t ever admit it to him, but you felt extremely comfortable whenever he had his arm around you and you also refused to feed into the voice that lingered at the back of your mind telling you that you were developing feelings for him.

When you got nothing but a low grumble in return, you slid away from him slightly so that you would have a clear view of his expression; his face was shrewd, brows knitted together as he glared at his lunch. When you thought about it some more, you realized that his grip on you was tighter than normal which made you purse your lips.

“Is it because of the game?”

It was the semi-finals later and everyone had been on Jaehyun’s back, constantly mentioning how he would be leading them to victory and whatnot which had to be all sorts of stressful because of the pressure. When he shrugged in reply, his mouth pressed together firmly as he refused to look at you, you slowly became aware that this was probably one of his irritable days. 

“Jae,” you called, wanting to reach out to direct his head in your direction but unwilling to do so because, well, you knew how that would look. The rest of the team, Mingyu and Jungkook in particular, would always make sure to drop teasing comments whenever you and Jaehyun so much as stared at each other for longer than three seconds. 

The longer he refused to look at you, the more the aggressiveness in his features increased. Mingyu and Jungkook’s teasing be damned, you were just going to go for it. You wiped the palm of your right hand onto your jeans since they became clammy at the thought and slowly, you brought it up to his cheek and redirected his gaze from his poor, unsuspecting lunch to you. Mingyu and Jungkook started acting up but seemed as though they were at a far distance as you stared concernedly into Jaehyun’s eyes.

“What’s wrong?” You asked softly, trying to contain your panic and racing heart when he relaxed into your touch. For a moment, you thought that he wasn’t going to say anything since he just closed his eyes and kept inhaling and exhaling deeply, as if he were doing some breathing exercises. When he opened his eyes you swore that they were a molten yellow, like gold, but you decided not to comment on it because you wanted to root out why Jaehyun wasn’t acting like his usual sunny self. 

“Nothing. Everything’s fine. I’m fine.”

Not liking how curt he sounded, you frowned. After a second you hesitantly slid you hand down to the crook of his neck, like he did with you sometimes when he was within your vicinity. There was a soft sound of his quick inhale but you chose not to focus on it.

“If you’re sure,” you paused to search his eyes, not liking how troubled he looked, “but I’m here to talk if you need someone, alright? Always, for anything. Even if it’s something that you think is stupid.”

“Alright,” he repeated hoarsely, “thank you. I’m always here too, for anything. Promise.” The sincerity in his voice made your stomach flip-flop and it seemed like you couldn’t find your voice. In turn you allowed your hand to rest on him for a few minutes longer, meeting his heated stare head on before removing it as you cleared your throat, resuming your original position.

When you saw the shit-eating grins of the others, including Sicheng, you stuck your tongue out at them but you remained silent as you tried ignore how hot your cheeks felt. Even though Jaehyun said nothing either, content flowed through you when you felt his muscles relax beneath his hoodie.

*

(After he shot the winning basket with a few seconds to spare, the students surrounding you cheering with all their might, you were left breathless. The bright smile that he sent your way was a massive contrast to the expression that he was wearing seconds ago, his competitiveness consuming him. When you mirrored his smile, giving him two thumbs up, it only served to make him smile brighter–if that were even possible. His eyes followed you even as his teammates hoisted him up into the air, only stopping when they became engulfed by the students who flooded the court.)

*

There was a gnawing in your chest that stopped you from sleeping. It left you staring at the ceiling aimlessly, tracing the alien baby that got stuck on it from when you and Doyoung were competing to see who could throw theirs higher when the two of you were younger. The two of you got into trouble and it was something that you rued your older brother for the months that followed but now it was something that never failed to bring a laugh out of you. You remembered only forgiving Doyoung because he used up all of his allowance to buy you that fancy toy that you had been begging for for weeks. 

Deciding that if you weren’t able to sleep, you would go to see if Jaehyun was awake. It was a common occurrence for one of you to go to each others houses in the little hours in the morning whenever either of you was unable to fall asleep. You shot him a text as a heads up, not bothering to check for a reply because you knew that he would probably be awake anyway since it was a Saturday.

Once you were bundled up, you tiptoed down the stairs, slipped on your shoes and left. It was easy to escape since your family were a bunch of heavy sleepers and your bicycle was never chained up to anything or in the garage, it just leaned against the side of your house, waiting to be used.

The cycle to their house was something that you could do with your eyes closed at that point, the cool air whipping against your skin as you began to peddle faster. You wanted to be there as soon as possible, Jaehyun always had the best snacks stashed in his room. When you saw the comforting sight of their home, you began to slow down as you squinted to get a better view of Jaehyun’s room. The fact that his lampshade wasn’t on made you feel a little dejected. Maybe he was asleep. 

Not wanting to give up, you got off your bicycle and left it at its usual position by the porch. You fished your phone from your pocket and frowned when you saw that you didn’t get a text from him, which always let you know that he would leave the front door open so that you could slip inside. After some heavy debate, you decided to try and see if the door was open. No dice. With a sigh, you spun back around to make your way back to your ride when something ahead of you made you freeze.

There, by the line of trees that started a few meters away from the end of the path, was a wolf. As far as you were concerned, there were absolutely no wolves in your area even though there was a huge forest. So you must have been extremely sleep deprived because there was absolutely no way there was a wolf staring at you, right? Right? 

Wrong. No matter how many times or how hard you pinched yourself, the wolf didn’t disappear. It seemed to be waiting for you to make the first move. You wanted to, honestly, but your feet were firmly planted on Mrs.Jeong’s pristine porch.

With a shaky breath, you slowly took a step forward, keeping your eyes on the wolf in case it made any sudden movements. When it seemed unbothered by your action, you took another then another until you reached your bicycle. Your heart dropped into your stomach when you heard a crunch on your right, knowing that it had to be another wolf because the one you kept your eyes locked on hadn’t moved. Your pulse was all you could hear in the silent night, palms sweaty with nervousness. You were going to get mauled weren’t you? You were going to get mauled in front of Jaehyun’s house on Mrs.Jeong’s pretty flowers. 

The whine that kept from the wolf on your right made you slowly look at it’s direction. When it took a step closer you fumbled back, unceremoniously landing on the innocent daisies, eyes wide with fear. Another whine escaped the wolf and it was only then that you heard the panting of different wolf closer to you. When it did nothing but bump it’s snout on the side of your head, you relaxed a bit which the whining wolf took as a sign to creep closer to you. It stayed patiently by your feet, as if waiting for a sign. After weighing out your options, you decided that if these wolves actually wanted you dead, they probably would have maimed you already.

Against your every instinct, you reached a trembling hand out towards it. It pawed it’s way over to you and bent its head so that it was under your hand. The other wolves seemed to take it as a sign to edge closer to you. It tickled when they licked your cheeks and hand, and you couldn’t help but coo at how cute they were. It was a huge relief when you realized that they meant no harm. 

Your brows furrowed when the wolf you were petting looked at you, it’s huge eyes achingly familiar and that was when it dawned on you. “Jaehyun?” When it, no he, whined, a small gasp escaped your lips. You turned to look at the others, “Mrs.Jeong? Mr.Jeong?” When you got a response to both, you felt a little faint. 

They turned and left you sitting there as you gathered your thoughts, emerging from somewhere after a few minutes and stood above you.

“Are you alright honey?” Mrs.Jeong asked gently after a couple of minutes of roaring silence. She didn’t come up to you like she normally did, trying to soothe you by rubbing the back of your head, and you found that you missed it.

“I’m, uh, I don’t know.” You replied honestly, your thoughts were a mess. You had your suspicions but you didn’t think that they were true. Before you found out the truth, you liked to imagine that you would reenact the scene from Twilight where Bella was confronting Edward about his true nature and it would be this whole thing that you and the Jeongs could laugh about if they got the reference. Although now that you were actually faced with the truth, you didn’t know how to react. It was literally like those expectations versus reality posts that were online. 

“Why don’t we head inside so you can warm up, hm?” Mr.Jeong suggested and you nodded numbly, your legs carrying you on autopilot as you entered their house. When your eyes flickered over to Jaehyun, you found him with his head down and you hated how ashen he looked.

You nodded thankfully at Mrs.Jeong when she passed you a glass of water. You took your time to drink it, wanting to prolong the oncoming conversation as much as possible. When the glass was empty, you placed it on the coffee table and, not knowing where to look, you met Mrs.Jeong’s patient eyes.

“So,” you said as the nerves you felt were slowly disippating, “werewolves.”

Mrs.Jeong looked as though she was fighting down a smile, laughter dancing in her eyes, “werewolves.”

“I frickin’ knew it!” Clearly that wasn’t the reaction they were expecting, from the looks of surprise displayed on their faces. “There was always something, uh, how do I explain it? Other about you guys. I could never place my finger on it but you guys were definitely a little weird to me. Not a bad weird! Just, you know, you guys are bit different from everyone else who lives here. I mean, who lives in the woods, right? Not that there’s anything wrong with living out here! Your house is amazing! But, yeah, don’t think I haven’t noticed you guys try to drop some hints.” You felt yourself relax when Mr. and Mrs.Jeong chuckled. “I’ll admit that I was a little scared earlier but could you blame me? I was tired and just wanted to chill with Jaehyun, like we always do.” You gulped a breath of air, “hey, be real with me, do you guys have, like spidey sense or something? Or you know, is anything from the movies real?”

“Wow,” Mr.Jeong laughed, “looks like we had nothing to worry about at all.” 

From there they told you about their family history. They explained the truth about how their ancestors actually stumbled across the land and answered all the questions that you had patiently, with fond smiles. They also told you that touching was a way to scent mark you and your family because that was a pack thing and that you had been pack for some time, that it had been cemented the day that Jaehyun was willing to fall asleep in your presence. They then told you that they could hear when people lie, something about an uptick in someone’s heartbeat, and their senses were enhanced compared to a regular human.

The relief hidden in their eyes was plain as day, although the same couldn’t be said for Jaehyun since he still withheld his eyes from you.

“I’m sorry you had to find out that way,” Mrs.Jeong once you couldn’t think of any other questions to ask them. “We were supposed to tell you after tonight’s full moon so that we could formally add you and your family to the pack.”

“Oh,” your shoulders sagged, “sorry I ruined your plan.”

“Don’t worry about it kid, we were expecting something like this to happen sooner or later.” Mr.Jeong assured you. “We can just invite them over for some lunch later and tell them then.” He added after sending a thoughtful look at his wife.

“Yeah, that would be cool.” You responded, “I can’t wait to see their faces!” Doyoung was going to freak and you were already anticipating it so that you could record their reactions somehow.

The two adults laughed and you joined them, keeping a worried eye on Jaehyun. His mom seemed to notice because she stood up immediately, lightly slapping her husband’s shoulder so that he would follow. She gave you a wink, shooting her son a firm look when he looked up after she cleared her throat at him pointedly.

“Is this why your always moody each month? ‘Cause of the full moon?”

Jaehyun’s eyes snapped up to meet yours. “I’m not moody.” 

“Aha! Got you to look!” That had him pouting and you allowed a few beats of silence to pass before you laughed at the absurdity of it all. Before you knew it, he began laughing with you too, staring off with small chuckles before it escalated to a full laugh. “Werewolves, huh.” You stated once the two of you were composed.

“Yeah,” Jaehyun wasn’t fully relaxed yet, you could tell–what always gave him away was how he held himself just a tad too stiff and the way he gripped his knees. “I wanted to tell you before but mom wouldn’t let me because even though you’re really nice and seemed like you would accept us, she said she couldn’t take the risk.”

“Understandable,” you said, nodding agreeably, “does anybody else know?” He shook his head. “Is that why you guys don’t have many visitors?” When he nodded in agreement, you hummed thoughtfully, “then how come you asked me to do our project here?”

“You’re going to think it’s stupid.” 

You arched a brow, “remember what we said to each other in the cafeteria?”

“Well, yeah but–”

“No buts! C’mon, I promise I won’t laugh.”

The two of you had a stare off but he surrendered because he figured out that you weren’t going to give up.  “Okay,” he sighed, redirecting his stare to his knees again, “before I joined the team, back when I was shorter and wasn’t as popular as I am now, you probably won’t remember but it was my birthday and nobody really knew even though we’ve all grown up together. Everyone was more focused on Valentine’s day but you went up to me, wished me a happy birthday and even gave me a card.”

“Oh,” you whispered as the memory came back to you. “I remember that. You looked so sad but I remembered it was your birthday because I heard Seokmin greet you before we had to go back to class, so I made you a quick card and gave it to you.”

“Yeah, I still have that card, and since then I’ve always wanted you in the pack because my mom used to tell me that the pack would always make you happy, make sure you’re never forgotten or feel left out.” 

“Jaehyun–”

“Wait! There’s more,” he met your eyes and kept his locked on yours as he continued, seeming to gain confidence in whatever he saw in your expression, “that’s why I wanted you to be pack at first but as we grew up I realized that you would be an amazing pack member because you’re loyal, smart, witty and you make me happy. And you probably think it’s creepy that I know that but my hearing is enhanced because I’m a werewolf, so I always hear a lot of things. I’ve learned to tune out most things but I never block out the sound of your voice.”

“Um,” you were oddly flattered. You never thought that throughout the years that you had been watching Jaehyun that he was watching you back. How did you not notice? It probably had something to do with other wolf traits. You had even more questions to ask at that revelation. “That’s– Wow.”

Jaehyun smiled sheepishly at you, ducking his head, “yeah.”

“That’s actually sort of cute? Like, I can’t believe you actually remembered that?”

“I used to think about it all the time,” he mumbled, “you’re part of the reason why I joined the team. I liked basketball but I also thought that it would get you to notice me since you never hung out with anyone but Minghao and Sicheng.”

“Oh,” you said again dumbly, feeling speechless. “well if it helps, you were always on my radar.”

Jaehyun visibily preened at your words, “really?”

“Yeah, really.”

You looked at him questioningly when he let out a groan, hiding his face behind his hand. “Nothing, my mom just said something.”

“Wait a minute! Does that mean she was teasing you when I first came here?”

“Uh-huh.”

“And that your dad actually heard me fell instead of seeing it?”

“Yeah. I heard you fall as well. Mom kept nagging dad about it after you left to fix it.”

“Hm,” you paused, thinking of any other instances, “is that why you were looking at me funny when you asked if I had any ideas for our project? ‘Cause you knew that I was lying?”

“Mhm and I agreed to your idea because it was unique and because it would be easy, since we’re werewolves and all.”

“Oh true,” you thought some more, “so I could become one too, right?”

“Definitely. Mom’s never turned anyone but gran did when dad asked for it, before mom was the alpha.” He assessed you for a moment, “why do you want to be turned?”

“No,” you responded after some you considered it, “at least I don’t think so. I like being human.”

“Fair.”

“So.” You trailed after a pregnant pause that consisted of you and Jaehyun staring at one another. You decided you liked this look on him, there was something different about the way he carried himself now that the truth about his nature was out there.

It was starting to get brighter, you could hear the birds chirping but you didn’t feel an inch of exhaustion. Not after what you had just learned. Part of you wanted to stay and ask Jaehyun endless questions but ultimately your logical side won.

“I should get going, my parents will look for me if I’m not there for breakfast.”

“I’ll walk you.”

The walk back was full of banter and it was great to listen to Jaehyun tell you how amazing it felt that you finally knew the truth, and how he couldn’t wait until the rest of your family knew. He then told you about other things, like how they sometimes hunted game or the one time he almost shifted in class because he heard someone talk badly about someone else.

“Well,” you said as you stopped by your mom’s car in the driveway. “This is me.”

“No way.” Jaehyun replied sarcastically with a roll of his eye to which you stuck your tongue out.

It was probably the left over adreneline from earlier or maybe it was because you decided that you didn’t care, but you let go of your bicycle in favor of wrapping your arms around him tightly. You didn’t let him go for a while, allowing him to bury his face in the crook of your neck. When you let go of him, he had a cute smile plastered on his face.

“After lunch tomorrow!” You shot him a confused look as you grabbed your bicycle from its position of the pavement. “I, uh,” he scratched the back of his head, “tomorrow, after we tell your family, we should go on a date.”

“Really?” You asked in disbelief.

“Yeah! But only if you want. You don’t have to say yes.” He was uncharacteristically nervous, shifting his weight from one leg to the other, and you couldn’t help but find it adorable.

“I’d love to go on a date with you.”

Your answer earned you a mega watt smile, “great! I’ll see you tomorrow then?”

“Duh.” You replied sarcastically. It did nothing to wipe the smile of his face, “I can’t wait.” You added seriously.

“Me neither.”

Feeling a rush of braveness, you motioned him towards you and when he complied, you placed a kiss on his cheek and ran to your door. When you looked back you saw him watching you with a dazed expression, sending you flying kisses and stopped to motion you to go inside.

Once you stepped inside your house and shut the door quietly, you placed your head on it and squeezed your eyes shut as you tampered down the high pitched squeal that threatened to make its way out of your throat. When you managed to compose yourself, although unable to calm your racing heart, you jumped at least fifty feet in the air when you caught Doyoung staring at you with his arms folded against his chest.

“Um, hi?” You hoped he didn’t see anything that happened between you and Jaehyun.

“I knew you had a crush on Jaehyun.” He said triumphantly because of course you were wrong. “If he treats you anything less than you deserve, he’s dead.”

You grinned at him teasingly. “Love you too.”

Doyoung made a face in response. “Gross.” Despite what he said, however, he still smiled at you fondly and ruffled your hair affectionately. “Now go to sleep you idiot, it’s five in the morning.”

“Shut up frog face.” Although that didn’t stop you from following him as quietly walked up the stairs. “How did you know anyway? Did you see what happened outside?”

“Uh, yeah. I’ve known that you two have been doing this for ages. It’s not like you’re quiet when you close your door or when you two talk. Did you forget how thin the walls are in this place?”

You hummed. “Thanks for not snitching on me.”

“You owe me big time, loser.”

[of-wrens-and-whirlwinds-blog]

Snippets In Time

Commission for the great @auspiciousagape! I hope I did your characters justice! Commission info is here!

~

The only sounds in the library were the rustle of book pages, the scratch of a pen on paper, and the faint hum of the heating vents.

Marcus, ruler of Antartets, was hiding from his master of ceremonies under the pretext of studying the books of diplomacy he hadn’t gotten to before being crowned. In reality, he was taking notes from a book on chemistry assigned by his tutor about a year ago. He was very aware that this was not something most rulers concerned themselves with. But he was determined to learn anyway.

His ears twitched upright, and he paused writing to listen closely, tail moving in slow, uneasy lashes. No, the footsteps outside the library continued on; not someone intent on disturbing him, then. He sighed quietly, relaxed a little, and got on with his work.

It was hard to work when he was so tense, and also just hated the subject material. But this was good practice, for if he ever had to talk to a chemist and know what the hell they were going on about, or take notes of things like military reports. There were currently no reports he couldn’t leave to his generals and spymaster, and then get the gist of later, but what if something really bad did come up?

He was worrying too much about different things. He had to focus.

If Rosaline were here, she could help him study…

No.

Marcus’s grip on his pen tightened so hard the stylus creaked, and he clenched his teeth. No. He would not think of her right now. Focus on molecules, Marcus.

But then he turned a page, and saw a piece of paper, flattened by the weight of the pages. He picked it up, frowning, and turned it over to read it.

Marcus!

I hope you haven’t given up taking proper notes in this dry tome. If you want some help, there’s a book in the section for when we were kids that has really good explanations; it helped me a lot, it might help you. If you’re doing fine with the note-taking, good! I’m so proud of you, Marcus! Love, Rose

The paper was very old. Probably several years.

Marcus stared at the paper, and considered ripping it to pieces and throwing it in the trash. But… this was the first note he’d found from her in about a year. They used to leave notes in books for each other all the time. Her cruel words rang in his head—had they been cruel? The more time passed, the more uncertain he became. But he’d cut contact already, there was no going back. And even if she hadn’t meant to hurt him, she still had. Surely that counted as something he had a right to be angry about.

His lip trembled, but he bit it, hard. No, it had been for the best. He shouldn’t worry about this right now. He was fine.

He stood up, his intention being to throw the note in the trash—but instead, he found himself walking to the section of children’s learning-books, and kneeling down to look at the ones on the bottom shelf. His ears flattened as he realized that Rosaline’s note was right; there was a children’s book on chemistry. He tucked the note in his jacket and opened the book.

Again, Rosaline was correct. This was much more accessible; a bit simple, but simple was good when he needed to rest his brain. He took the book back to the desk and read it, and took notes, and compared the information to the bigger, wordier, drier book. He carefully did not dwell on this piece of Rosaline that had survived so long, just to reach forward and help him gently.

Of course, he had to stop eventually, if only because his upper body ached from being hunched over writing. He  stretched carefully, yawning widely, and closed his books, setting aside his journal as he capped his pen. Time for more royal work. He grimaced, but there was really no help for it.

As he stood, the front of his jacket crinkled, reminding him that he still had Rosaline’s note. Should he throw it away? It was just making him feel guilty. But would destroying it be selfish?

Okay, yes. He missed her.

Marcus scrubbed his eyes on the back of his hand. Damn it. All this work to keep up his father’s legacy and he still had bouts of misery over an old friend. If only he could forget without resorting to highly illegal but highly effective magic.

“Marcus? You in here?”

He hastily plastered on a fake smile and turned to see his friend Jayson padding towards him, ears and tail alert. “Hello,” Marcus said with false cheer. “What brings you here?”

“Just checking on you,” Jayson replied blithely, but there was the faintest look of worry on his face. “Are you alright?”

Marcus really wished Jayson didn’t know him so well, or that he wasn’t so bad at hiding his feelings. “I’m fine, Jayson, truly. Just… tired from notes-taking.”

“Mm-hm,” Jayson replied skeptically, then came forward more to put his hand on Marcus’s arm. “Come on, the master of ceremonies was being dramatic about how he’ll die of apoplexy if you don’t show up and let him tell you his glorious plans for the next banquet.”

Marcus made a face and Jayson grinned. “I hate that fusspot,” Marcus muttered. “Can’t I just get on with ruling and someone else can do the socializing?”

“Socializing is part of ruling, you know that,” Jayson told him, and tucked his arm through Marcus’s elbow. As usual, Marcus had to swallow hard to force down the butterflies in his stomach. Jayson was very free with affectionate touch with Marcus, which usually made other people frown, but Marcus… well, he liked it. For some odd reason that he didn’t like looking too closely at.

Jayson led him out of the library, but when they reached the hall, they separated; reluctantly, Marcus thought. Then Jayson smiled and said, “Come on, let’s go make that fusspot quiet down. He’s driving everyone else up the wall too.”

“Fine,” Marcus sighed, and resigned himself to his fate as a captive of the master of ceremonies.

~

He only remembered the note when he was undressing for bed.

He had asked to do his own undressing—well, he’d ordered it. His footmen had been surprised, but left him to it. And therefore none of them saw the way his face crumpled and his body tensed and his ears flattened. He just… wanted to see Rosaline again. Say sorry. Ask for clarification.

But he also really didn’t want to, not just because of shame, but the lingering, burning anger that hissed in the back of his mind that he didn’t need her, he didn’t need that kind of casual insults to his own father, when said father was dead and unable to defend himself. It was wrong of her to say she was glad of his death.

Marcus wiped his eyes on his sleeve, set his chin stubbornly, and got ready for bed.

And then he tucked the note in the drawer of his nightstand, and turned on his side away from it, and pretended it wasn’t there.

~

Jayson was working the next day, but Marcus had a free few hours, so he slipped away from the palace and headed to the House of Healing where Jayson worked. He wouldn’t distract his friend—just watch. Jayson was a joy to watch, so calm with his patients, with that little frown when he was concentrating, his eyes gleaming just so in the sunlight that came from the multitude of windows… Marcus shook his head and kept jogging through the streets of the capital until he reached the House. Silly thoughts.

The House was quiet when he got there; many patients were sleeping, and the Healer at the desk greeted Marcus softly, with a genuine smile.

“Jayson is just finishing his rounds,” she told him. “I’ll let him know you’re here, though.”

Marcus nodded and said “Thank you!” and sat down in the waiting room. Houses of Healing were almost like hospitals, but much… softer. There was magic here, to calm patients, to soothe, to help medicines and Healing take better. And they certainly didn’t look like hospitals, or smell like them. Marcus very much preferred the gentle touch of a Healer and their noxious but effective teas, over a doctor or nurse and their injections. It wasn’t distrust of science, just preference for something that felt safer.

And he preferred Jayson’s touch and his teas over any other Healer.

Marcus kicked his feet a little and fingered the buttons of his jacket nervously. He’d come here to visit, but also to ask Jayson’s opinion. So he should probably stop lingering over memories of Jayson’s soft hands and start thinking of what to say.

It wasn’t long before Jayson ducked into the waiting room, looking around alertly; Marcus jumped up, and Jayson spotted him, and grinned. They met halfway across the space between them, and Jayson offered, “It’s a bit snoozy today, do you want to go out in the garden to talk?”

“Yeah!”

The garden was beautiful. A large expanse of wandering paths, many benches, spaces for wheelchair-users to sit in sun or shade as they preferred, and lots of beautiful flowers and trees. There were a few children racing each other and laughing; one had an oxygen mask and tank, and the others often slowed to make sure she was alright and keeping up. Marcus smiled at them, then remembered why he was here.

“Let’s sit in the shade,” Jayson suggested, his ears twitching. “I was dealing with a patient with a fever and we had to heat the room. I’m a bit over all this sunlight right now.”

“Fair enough,” Marcus replied, and they wandered to the first shady spot they could get.

Jayson sighed gratefully as he flopped down on a bench, stretching his arms along the back. Marcus sat just a little bit closer than custom dictated. There was no one to see, after all.

“I really hope that patient gets better soon,” Jayson commented, frowning worriedly. “He’s had a fever for three days, and nothing has been able to break it. We’ll have to use the more powerful magic, but he’s already delicate.”

“Why didn’t you use magic in the first place?” Marcus asked, surprised.

“Because it was in his papers that he wished for magic to be the last resort.” Jayson rubbed the side of his head, wincing. He probably had a killer headache. “We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it, though. He was getting better, that’s why it was safe to leave him. Maybe he’s not as delicate as we feared.” Then he shook his head and smiled at Marcus. “Sorry, I know you didn’t come here to hear me complain. Is everything alright?”

Marcus shrugged. “Yes, but… well, I would like your input with a small matter.”

The smile vanished, and Jayson sat up straighter. “Marcus, you’re only that formal when something’s wrong. Are you okay?”

Marcus felt a rush of warmth that Jayson was worried, and a tightening of shame in his gut. Wordlessly, he took out some of the book-notes he’d been collecting, and held them out to Jayson. The Healer took them and read them quickly, beginning to frown. Marcus just looked at him while he did.

Jayson was handsome. That was just a fact. Marcus had heard others their age saying that his fangs were too sharp, or that his ears were too horsey, or that you could never trust a cat with a face so sly. But that was, in Marcus’s opinion, bullshit. Even just his eyes, golden as honey and gleaming in the sun, were enough to make up for any of these so-called “cons”.

And sweet. Jayson was sweet, too. Kind and gentle and cheerful. Marcus could spend hours waxing rhapsodic about Jayson.

Which was a little frightening.

Finally, Jayson looked up. “Rose,” he said, “Rosaline?”

Marcus nodded.

“How old are these?”

“A few years,” Marcus answered quietly. “I just… don’t know how to feel about them.”

Jayson’s face softened, and he put his hand gently on Marcus’s forearm. Marcus only then realized that his fists were clenched tightly.

“It’s alright to be confused,” Jayson replied. “You were friends for a while, and now you’re not. It’s normal to not know how to feel about that.”

“I’m angry, Jayson,” Marcus whispered, staring at his fists. “I’m so angry, but… I miss her, too. She was my best friend. And I drove her away.”

Jayson let go of his arm, but only to wrap his own around Marcus and pull him closer, into a firm hug. Marcus let him, feeling… safe.

“I can see that,” Jayson murmured. “It’s not every day that kind of thing happens.” He hesitated, then asked gently, “Do you want to tell me about it?”

Marcus shook his head. He was too ashamed.

“Alright.”

They sat there silently for a few minutes, watching the breeze ruffle the small pond across from them. Marcus finally relaxed, his ear pressed to Jayson’s shoulder, listening to his heartbeat. It was soothing, as was the warm arm around him, telling him he was safe and it was going to be okay. The faint scent of herbs and sweat drifted off of Jayson.

Marcus never wanted this moment to end.

And that, of course, was what made his half-closed eyes fly wide open, and stiffen his entire body. Oh. Oh no. Oh no.

“Marcus? Are you alright?”

“Fine,” he replied automatically, beginning to tremble, his face turning red. “I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?” Jayson asked, “You’re shaking like a leaf.”

“I’m fine.”

Jayson shushed him softly and let go. “Alright. Okay. Do you want to go back? I can walk with you—”

“No, it’s fine.” Marcus snatched the papers and jumped to his feet, trying not to meet Jayson’s worried eyes. “I’ll walk back on my own, it’ll be okay, promise.”

Jayson stood too. “Alright. If you want to talk about it some more, I have noon free all week.”

“I’ll remember that,” Marcus replied, and scurried away.

By the time he was halfway to the palace, he’d calmed down, and decided that the best course of action was to stifle this… crush. It would go away. It had to. He’d spent too long on this friendship for a crush to add complications.

What if it was more than a crush? What if it was actually, really—

No. Marcus shook his head firmly. It was just a crush. And he would push it away.

[shookethbrooketh]

my pointless gatsby essay

a few days ago i mentioned that i was reading the great gatsby for class and that i wrote a paper on nick’s sexuality. some of you expressed interest in reading it, so now that i’ve finished reading the book and added in some feelings about the ending, i’m posting it so you all can read! 

a couple things: i literally wrote this for no reason. we had assignments similar to these for another book we read where i just wrote my opinions about one particularly stupid part of the book, and i wanted to it here so i just...did. if it makes the experience more hysterical for you, you should know that i let my teacher read this, and she read the beginning in the middle of my class (without my knowledge) yesterday and then i do not think she read any more. she agreed with me, though, so it’s a win. 

also, i actually honestly think nick is just gay, but the argument i made here is that he was bisexual because a) i was only about halfway through the book when i wrote the majority of this and at that time he seemed to be quite into jordan, and b) i really did not feel like trying to defend the point that he was not at all into women. you’ll be able to tell when you push ‘read more’ that i definitely had enough to say without that. it’s a solid 1250 words. have fun. 

The day I finished reading Chapter 3 of The Great Gatsby, I took to Google in search of reassurance that other people were asking the same question I was. It became clear to me that I was not alone when I typed in “Is Nick fr,” and there it was: “Is Nick from Gatsby gay?” The answer is...complicated. Although he begins dating Jordan Baker midway through the book, there is still widespread confusion surrounding Nick’s sexuality. Why, you might ask? He’s got a girlfriend--end of story. Right? Wrong. Although life would be a heck of a lot easier if it did, human sexuality doesn’t work like that, so here we are. The fact of the matter is that Nick is a heavily closeted bisexual, and he is being absolutely used by Gatsby for that. 

There are a few non-Gatsby-related clues that Nick is bisexual. For starters, he introduces each new character, male or female, with intricate and often physical detail. He narrates effectively about the physicality of characters regardless of their gender; for example, this description of Tom: 

“Not even the effeminate swank of his riding clothes could hide the enormous power of that body--he seemed to fill those glistening boots until he strained the top lacing and you could see a great pack of muscle shifting when his shoulder moved under his thin coat. It was a body capable of enormous leverage--a cruel body.” 

This quote, quite frankly, made me violently uncomfortable the first time I read it, so clearly either Nick would not mind being taken down by Tom or we need to have a serious talk with F. Scott Fitzgerald. Not to mention the odd scene where Nick disappears for FOUR HOURS between midnight and 4:00 AM with the sole memory of standing beside a bed with a half-naked man who was earlier described as feminine and was holding  a “great portfolio.” Let’s just say that by the end of Chapter 2 some alarm bells were going off in my pea-sized brain. 

Now for the real argument: Nick is clearly infatuated with Jay Gatsby. He wrote two entire paragraphs--one in Chapter 3 and one in Chapter 4--simply about the captivating, caring nature of Gatsby’s smile. He even details later in Chapter 4 how he “held out” against Gatsby’s smile, as if it was some force drawing him into something he refused to be a part of. Overall, the entire situation of Nick and Gatsby’s first meeting screams “21st century fanfiction.” Simple, normal Nick gets invited to a fancy party and chooses to go. He starts talking to another simple, normal man who offers to take him out on the water in the morning, and it feels as if everything is falling together when suddenly he realizes his “date” is actually the party’s affluent host. He is left alone with the female friend he came with, and suddenly he becomes almost obsessed with the man he was speaking with, asking his friend about him with a sudden sense of urgency. I’ll be fair--that is an utterly ridiculous analogy. Still, it checks every box, and it seems as if Gatsby is as aware of it as I am. 

Gatsby has this odd mystery about him--every move he makes is tactfully chosen, and he seems to have a global knowledge of anything related to Daisy. Because of this, it is clear that the only reason Gatsby is friends with Nick and Jordan is because he believes he can use them to get closer to Daisy. He uses his inexplicable charm to draw Nick in and convince him to help Gatsby get the girl he’s been lusting after for years. In his one valid statement in the entire book, Tom told Nick this at the end of the book: “[Gatsby] threw dust into your eyes just like he did in Daisy’s…” This statement, in and of itself, can be taken in a romantic light, but it also shows how Nick has been a bit manipulated by Gatsby. I will acknowledge that Gatsby displays many extremely relatable qualities that come together to create a characteristic I like to call “disaster gay” (literally the entirety of the panic in Chapter 5). However, Nick is the only main character in the novel who displays heavy bisexual tendencies, and Gatsby seems to be using this to his advantage. 

Finally, Chapter 9 is an emotional experience for all of us. Nick is profoundly affected by Gatsby’s death as he is left to grieve almost completely alone. Although he says in Chapter 8 that he never really liked Gatsby, his narration in Chapter 9 tells a different story. Even with Gatsby gone, he feels as if it’s him and Gatsby against the world. He’s found himself suddenly in charge of Gatsby’s funeral, growing more and more distraught with each person that disrespects the dead Gatsby. Most tellingly, he feels as if he had to care for Gatsby, or at least find someone else to be with him. Nick has this inexplicable obligation to Gatsby that screams “unrequited love” forcefully at me until I become emotional. 

All this being said, the most interesting part about it all is that I’m completely and wholly wrong. Anyone who says that F. Scott Fitzgerald would have written a bisexual narrator in the 1920s is utterly kidding themselves. Human sexuality wasn’t even perceived as more than “one or the other” until much later in the 20th century. The truth of Nick’s sexuality lies not in the text but in the reader’s perception of said text. The simplest answer to this difference in perception and reality lies in the identity of the reader, but even that doesn’t wholly explain the situation. If the narrator were a woman, chemistry between her and Gatsby would be clear to many more readers. Of course, that shows that, as is, the perception of the relationship is dependent on the reader’s experiences in life; however, it also shows that some of the misconception lies in the general culture of the 21st century. 

The vast majority of the examples I provided for Nick’s bisexuality were really written to establish mystery surrounding Gatsby’s character (or simply because Fitzgerald’s writing was excessively descriptive). He clearly had no intention of sending the message that we receive today, but in 21st-century culture, mystery and romance are often intertwined. We’re so used to correlating mystery and romance that sometimes one can come off as the other. Regardless, the best part of fiction is that it’s completely fictional. Nick can be whatever readers make him into (aside from blatant, major misinterpretations), and choosing to spend my time after we finish the book reading academic papers about Nick’s sexuality is both well within my rights and perfectly valid. 

Some side notes: 

In my research for this, I ended up on Ao3--not to read anything (spoilers, y’know), but to see how many works there were on this and what specifically was going on there, but, despite my attempts, I still managed to spoil Gatsby’s death for myself. Just so we all know the sacrifices I’ve made here. || Update: Now that we’ve finished the book, I’ve taken to reading here, and I think this is what's going to keep me sane during what I’m choosing to call the coronacation. 

I’d also like to say that I’m very suspicious of Catherine and her tendency to run off to random places across the world with other women, but we never heard anything from here again, so this is all she gets.  

[poemsandthoughts]

The Words

The sky was already covered in a royal blue colour, when I was still sitting on a dark wooden bench in the middle of the park. While the upcoming stars were telling me to go back to my little apartment, I turned around another page that had a lot of words on it. The book of more than five hundred pages long with thousands of words in it, was lying on my lap and was opened at page 328. You could say that I had an excuse to read, because I studied English literature, but the real reason why I was still sitting on a bench in the park in the evening, was that I loved it. I loved how random letters formed words that formed sentences and eventually a story with a meaning behind it. You could say that it is not more than pure logic, but just think about it. Think about how all of the words that you are reading right now, have a meaning. And that the meaning of all these words follow each other up, so they make a logic and good sentence.

Isn’t it beautiful?

What if I randomly decided to let some words out of a sentence?

The sentence, and especially the meaning of it, wouldn’t be the same, because you would read the words with a different emphasis than I would read them. And you wouldn’t know what I tried to make clear with that series of words, even when you would read it a thousand times over and over again.

So, isn’t it meaningful to think about that?

I turned around another page that was filled up with words and decided to go home after I finished chapter nine of the book that was called ‘Once Upon A Time’. The book had a beautiful meaning behind it, and yes, it is fiction. But even fiction stories can tell you the best lesson, and in the end of every story the beauty lays in the meaning of the words. And, this may surprise you, every story is based on some words. So, every book and every single story has his own kind of beauty that lays in the words.

I locked the door of my apartment behind me and threw my backpack with my books and notes in it, on my bed. I had that day three lectures, so I had to bring a big amount of stuff with me the whole day, and I was that fore very happy to slide that heavy backpack off of my shoulders and relax in my little room.

My room was not that big, but it had a lot of stuff in it. Mostly books and notes, but there were also some plants in it that made the room quite cozy. The walls were covered in a lot of shelfs, books, pictures and paintings, that made the room look a bit bigger than it actually was.

I sat behind my desk and grabbed my journal that laid in a drawer. The Bordeaux red journal that I could see right in front of me, was halfway through filled with words and sentences. I had a lot of journals, but this one was very special to me. It was filled with words that described my thoughts. Every single word that I wrote down in that journal, was a part of what I thought that day.

After I wrote down the things I did that day and the thoughts I had with that, it was forty minutes later, and I had to make myself some dinner. It was a bit late for that, but I didn’t have the chance to eat earlier, because I was till late in the park. In the park were a lot of benches at the side of the path where you could walk on to go to the big lake or to the other side of the park. But there were also some benches there that deviated from the path and one in particular was standing out from the others. The bench was far from the real world and was located underneath a weeping willow by a little brook where the ducks were happy with their lives. When I sat under that tree, I could feel the real magic coming up from the ground crawling up into my body. That was the place where I wrote all of my stories, papers, essays, and where I read one book after the other while I couldn’t stop turning the pages around. For me was that place very special and that was also the only place in the park where I sat in peace and silence, while I was enjoying the things I had in front of me – not only the books that laid on my lap in front of me, but also  the thoughts I had in my head and that I brought I front of my eyes.

As I was finishing my salad I made, I stood up from behind my desk and closed the curtains that were hanging in front of my high window. But before I closed them all the way, I grabbed my three little plants from the windowsill and placed them on my desk, so I had the place now to close my yellow curtains all the way.

I looked at my phone to check the time and to my surprise it was already quarter for one in the middle of the night. Apparently, I was a bit dragged away with my homework, that I forgotten the time. So, I decided it was time for me to go to bed and do the rest of the assignments tomorrow – or today.

The next day I had a day of, so I woke up a little later than usual. That night I didn’t sleep that well, because of a bad dream I had. I was locked up in a room without any windows or doors, and there were no corners; it was a round room where everything was white, but you couldn’t see anything, except for one thing. At one wall – I think it was a wall – was a word written: words. But as I took more and more steps to that beautiful written word, it looked like it was going further away from me. Even when I started to run and jump towards it, I couldn’t reach it. After a couple of minutes, maybe even hours, I gave up, and luckily was that the moment where me dream stopped and when I woke up covered in sweat at the edge of my bed. First, I had to realize it was all just a dream before I could stand up from my bed and make myself some coffee.

I could see that it was a beautiful morning when I opened my curtains, I closed the night before.

I walked outside my dorm with my backpack full of books, a journal, pencils and a little notebook, as the sun was shining at his brightest. The sun rays were warming me up as they reached my body while I could hear the birds singing from the sky.

I found the tree and after a minute or two, I also saw the empty bench standing, sleeping, underneath it. The bench looked so peaceful as it was waiting there for someone that was going to make use of his purpose. And I was going to be that person on that particular day.

I sat down and picked a book out of my backpack that was now lying next to me on the smiling bench. I turned the book open on my lap and read for about seven hours while I journaled a bit and took some notes on the things I was reading, but after that long, I decided to go back to my little room and study for a bit, because I had next week an upcoming test that was going to be hard.

It was sort of my thing to go straight after I made a test to the special bench where I could think and reflect on everything I did and wrote just ten minutes ago. So, also that day wasn’t any different. I walked up to the tree and then the bench, but I stopped. Instead of walking up to the bench, I stopped a few meters before it, and that was because I saw something. I have to correct myself; I didn’t see something, I saw someone. Someone else, other than me, was sitting on the peaceful bench in silence. The first thought that ran through my mind was that it was unfear because it was my bench, but of course that wasn’t the correct thing to think about, because that bench was a public spot and everyone could sit on there and enjoy the art of the silence that the bench gave.

I looked at my phone and saw that a couple of minutes had passed after I arrived at the tree. I decided to go home, because the bench was full, and I didn’t want to talk to anyone because I wasn’t in the mood for that after I made such a bad test.

I locked by door and sat on my bed while I grabbed my red journal out of my backpack to start writing:

“Dear journal,

I don’t think my day can get any worse.

I studied so hard for this test about the book we had to read, but when I got the test in front of me, my mind just blocked completely. The words that I had printed in my head weren’t there anymore, and I searched a lot and a long time for the letters and words to fall in their places, but it didn’t work. I couldn’t read the sentences on the paper in front of my correctly, so I just wrote some stupid things down. I don’t even know if my answers matched the questions, but we will see. And maybe the universe is with me and maybe they do me a little favor.

And when I wanted to walk over to the wordless but so important and special bench, I saw someone else sitting on there. And yes of course she is allowed to sit there, because it is a public spot, but today? Did she really had to sit there right there and right at that moment? It is just not fair!”

After I did the journal back in my drawer, I grabbed my coat of the coatrack and went outside to go to the bench. When I sat my first thoughts aside, I realized what I always admired: the beauty of the words, the beauty of communicating with words. So, I decided to go to that girl and hear her story. The story of her who sat there while she was quiet and enjoying the silence that surrounded her.

I came to the tree after an eight-minute walk and searched for the bench with the girl on it, but I couldn’t find it. Well, I found the bench, but I couldn’t find the girl. I was so determined to find the girl and talk with her, but now… the only thing that was left, was the bench that was standing in the middle of the silence.

I decided to go to the bench and sit down for a while in the darkness. I looked up and saw the moon rising very slowly and the stars shining very bright. It looked like some of the stars were dancing in the night while others were standing still and watched the other stars dance.

I didn’t bring my journal or book with me that evening, because I didn’t think I would sit there for a long period of time, but in the end, I sat there for a whole hour just watching the stars and the moon above me.

I wanted to go back to my apartment and see if see was sitting there tomorrow so I could have my second chance.

That night I slept great for the parts I did get some sleep. The half of the night I was thinking about the things I wanted to say to her, but mostly I was thinking about the fact that my thoughts and the words I had in my head, weren’t even going to be necessary, because maybe the girl wasn’t even going to be there the following day.

I woke with a very strange feeling. I couldn’t pass it up. It wasn’t the feeling that something was going to be wrong, but it was also not the feeling that everything was going to be alright. So, I had a very mixed feeling when I walked over to the path to go look for the bench. But that mixed feeling went immediately away when I saw the same beautiful yellow coat sitting on the bench just like the day before.

I mustered my courage that I had within me and walked over to the girl and said ‘hi’ to her. And she didn’t answer me. It was like she didn’t see or hear me when I said it to her as I sat down next to her. It was so strange but maybe she was listening to some music and was really carried away in the book she was reading at that moment.

While I was still sitting next to the girl, I grabbed my journal and pen, but when I wanted to turn a page open, the girl looked like she startled of me. Based on her reaction, she really didn’t see me or hear me at first. And was okay, because I could use that moment of silence to put the correct words I had in my head in the correct order.

I looked at her and started rambling all of my words out of my mouth, but when I was finally finished, I looked down because I saw a little note on my lap that she had pass me through:

“Hi! My name is Raegan. Sorry, but I can’t hear you because I am deaf. What is your name?”

And even when the girl next to me couldn’t say anything, her words were more powerful than the most of us will ever say.

[suicidalcatz]

DOG DAYS ARE OVER : CHAP 7

Pairing : Jake Kiszka x reader

Genre : College AU

Previous parts : Prologue ; Chap 1 ; Chap 2 ; Chap 3 ; Chap 4 ; Chap 5 ; Chap 6

Masterlist : here

AN : You’re so gonna hate me for the ending. And the twins are Taurus just like me so I based some of their personality traits after some knowledge I have of our zodiac sign... I’m writing part 10 atm ! Please feel free to message me or tell me what you thought of this part! I can’t say it enough, thanks for the love and support ! Each week I’m more excited to post the new chapter.

Chapitre 7 : Won't you come over ?

Replying to Jake's texts after what had happened felt wrong, but I couldn't leave him on read. Our relationship was great so far and I couldn't sabotage it for a misunderstanding with Josh. What I could do, on the other hand, was talking to Josh. So I started testing the waters when I met Jake in front of the school the next morning. It was the last day we were giving out flyers. The festival was coming soon and then we were all on Christmas holidays so we had to give as much as we could today. It was exhausting but every minute spent with the brunette was worth of everything else.

- Just ask.

We were both quiet before he spoke out of the blue, leaving me confused. Did I think out loud ?

- I can see there's something bothering you, he said without looking at me. Shoot.

With a defeated sigh, I let myself slouch, taking a break from our activity. Jake did the same, sitting on a step and gesturing for me to join him. Not many people wandered outside at this time of the year, and the stone was so cold under my butt I felt a shiver run down my spine. A few more minutes sitting there and it'll get anesthetized. Jake must've caught it because he gently rubbed my back in a vain attempt to keep me warm. I couldn't feel it through all the layers of clothing I had on my back but it felt good nonetheless. His caring attitude always succeeded in making me feel better.

- Have you heard anything from Josh ?, I asked tentatively.

The boy next to me raised his eyebrows in a knowing way before interrupting his back rubs, taking a pack of cigarettes out of his jacket pocket and politely offering me one. He lit his own when I declined his offer, and took his time blowing the smoke in the air before answering me.

- Not after his lunch extravaganza from yesterday.

The choice of words made me wince a bit. He didn't sound as patient as he had been the day before.

- I don't know what got into him, admitted Jake while admiring the park before us. He wouldn't talk to me when I got in our room after school, so we just kept silent. He can be very stubborn and never explains what upsets him, expecting you to guess. I tend to be the same, so I know it'll pass. Don't you worry about it.

Even if Jake's advice was to let it be, it bothered me too much to just wait for things to become less awkward again. Was it really siblings' rivalry ? I couldn't tell. And as much as I understood and respected Josh's choice of not wanting to adress the issue, it wouldn't solve anything at all. I couldn't possibly just sit here and wait for him to come talk to us. What if he did that with every little things we did that upset him ? We had to talk it out.

It was now my time to admire the scenery in front of us. The peacefulness of it calmed me a bit. When all the students were already lining in front of their classrooms, the quiet melody of the wind brushing the trees' leaves accompanying Jake's soft inhaling sounds put me at ease. The singular smell of tobacco didn't threw me off, in fact it mixed weirdly well with Jake's perfume. There was something very him in that mix. Tobacco, shampoo, incense, and something that I could only describe as his scent. Something I'd love to make a scented candle of. Sometimes, after spending entire hours together, I could smell it on my coat, or hair, and at times like these I'd smile to myself thinking how it'd be nice to sleep on his shirt, to bath on his scent.

- Mama are you listening ?

- I'm sorry, what ?

Daydreaming of him when he was just a few inches near made me embarrassed enough for my cheeks to turn pink and my voice to crack a little. As someone who tended to be lost in his thoughts a good portion of the time he didn't take offense in it and got on his feet, repeating the part I missed.

- I said you must be real popular because half of the flyers were taken by the Illustration Department.

Always the polite one, Jake offered his hand to help me get up and I took it this time, enjoying the light squeeze of his fingers under mine as he got me on my feet.

- Not really. But I manage to get along with everybody, curiously so.

- I don't think that is.

The brunette spoke seriously, stuffing his cold hands in his pockets as he lead the way to the nearest entrance. Can't say I was a fan of cryptic messages but I couldn't bring myself to ask him for precisions either. Truth to be told, deep down I understood the subtle praise but acknowledging it would mean falling for him even deeper than I had already. And it scared me.

Nobody came to what Mandy had baptised The Lunch Club today. And it wasn't because of the overly obvious movie reference but simply because the four of us weren't comfortable enough to eat or even hang out together given the current situation. Josh would probably skip it because he was still upset, and getting together without him just didn't feel right. Of all things it would just prove Josh's point, if I had understood it correctly. And I would lie if I said that eating in the dorms wasn't convenient. It had a lot of advantages. First of all, the heater. Comfort. And actual warm food.

Mandy came back from the workshop just as I was making pasta, already exhausted and looking like she didn't have a proper night of sleep in days.

- Are you alright ?

- I'm so tired you have no idea, I worked all week-end to finish a stupid dress.

Poor girl, she couldn't feel her fingertips and her hands were covered in band aids. She sinked into a chair and I patted her on the back to try and bring her a little bit of comfort while she explained everything that I missed over lunch, keeping me updated. We didn't have much time to talk these last few days since we were so busy working on our assignments, and also because I went home for the week end.

- By the way, she said with a mouthful of pasta, How's Jake ?

The death glare I gave her only made her grin grow wider as she set her plate aside. To be fair maybe I owed her an explanation because she got caught in that extremely awkward Kiszka situation last time and she doesn't even know anything about it. Well, she did know a bit of it but we didn't have time to properly gossip yet.

- Well... We text sometimes and he's... I don't even know how to put it into words dude, he's dreamy.

Mandy motionned for me to give her my phone so she could look at our texts and I did. There wasn't anything private in here anyway, just friends chatting. Sometimes getting cocky. Studying her face and biting my lip, I saw her blinking a few times, opening her mouth in false shock, or whistling.

- Oh my, you guys get along, don't you ?

I shook my head in disbelief.

- We do. But there's nothing that interesting-

- Not yet, she cut me with a raised finger. But I can tell you're going there, just be patient. Or maybe be more daring, you know ? Test the waters.

Of course I took note of that. Mandy didn't seem like it but she was of very good advice (most of the time). And she had way more luck with boys that I did. Hell, she even had luck with girls. Being more daring, noted. Jake himself, without being flirty, liked to tease and wasn't afraid to sound over-confident, so being bold wouldn't do me any harm, I guess. I'll show him that two could play this game. But right now, my mind was set on something else.

- Do you know where I can find Josh ? I'd like to talk to him.

Pausing, Mandy squinted her eyes, thinking hard. Every hint was good to take, the school wasn't as big as most campuses, but there was enough students to form a small town.

- Try asking Jake ? He must know, she shrugged. Last time I met him was this saturday night, he was carrying snacks and wandering around the school in his Pjs. Man he must love those cheese balls.

Although the last sentence was more rhetorical than directed to me, it made a lightbulb lit up in my brain. Without any explanation, I put my plate in the sink, excused myself, grabed a coat, my sketchbook, and stormed out of the dorms. Saying that I was running to my destination was a bit of an overstatement, but walking very fast was an accurate description. My coat was halfway wore and hung loosely around my shoulders, allowing the cold air to caress my neck and make my skin tingle. My hair must've looked like a mess because I had tied it while cooking, and don't even get me started on my panting, lungs frozen and cold sweat running down my spine because I hurried like someone was after me. By the time I got to the vending machine near the cafeteria, there wasn't anything I wanted more than to nap right here right now. But at least, I caught Josh on time.

- We need to talk.

Was it the heavy breathing or the way my back fell completely against the candy dispenser, I didn't know, but the boy jumped, letting go of his change in the process.

- Fuck you scared me ! What the hell are you doing, surprising people like that ?

- Trying to chat with my friend.

I kept my eyes on Josh as he knelt to get his money, studying his back tense and his movements stop. The boy let out an audible sigh before raising his head to me, searching for something into my eyes, probably sincerity. He couldn't hold my gaze more than mere seconds before focusing on his candy again, and a wave of panic started hurtling my body, setting in my stomach, tying it in knots.

- I'm sorry.

It wasn't me speaking, it was Josh. The boy nervously scratched his neck, refusing to look at me.

- I shouldn't have snapped at you, it wasn't fair. It's not about siblings rivalry or anything, you know ?, he murmured while idly twiddling his bag of chips. I guess I was feeling a bit left out, got a little jealous...

His voice was barely audible now, and seeing him looking vulnerable and ashamed to admit the truth had my heart tighten.

- I can't ask of you to tell me when you text my brother, I don't have any right to do that, it's just... It was stupid, I...

- Josh, I interrupted. It's okay. I'm sorry too. We should've included you or tell you. It wasn't fair of us, and I don't want you to feel left out.

My hand found its way on his shoulder, and I felt him relax a little under the comforting touch. Maybe he knew I was being honest, because he gave a small nod and a bashful smile, a look I didn't know I'd see on his face one day. It gave me the courage to keep up my momentum.

- You know what ? Why don't you drop by our dorm after school ? We'll chat and have a drink. Just the three of us.

Mandy wasn't bothered at all my our improvised get together, on the contrary. She loved the guy, in a friendly way. We both did. When I texted her this afternoon in the workshop she got so excited she said she'll buy some beer when she got out of her lecture. Josh and I had exchanged numbers too, so all misunderstanding was clarified now, and receiving both of their overly enthusiastic texts got me in the mood too. By the time the teacher said we could pack up, I was already at the door, jumping out of my shoes and tidying the room as much as I could before Josh's visit. He needed the key to enter our building, so Mandy picked him up while I was putting some music, and both were already very loud by the time I heard them climb the stairs, laughing and exchanging jokes while carrying huge bags of booze.

- Do you know it's an honor for you to get invited to our lair ?, said Mandy as she put the beers in the fridge. You're actually the first person we ask to come over.

- Are you serious ?!, Josh inquired, pretending to be shocked. Ladies, it's an immeasurable pleasure to be your first. I'll be worthy of it, I'll behave, and you'll be so amazed by my charming self that you'll keep asking for more afterwards.

The dirty joke made us snort real loud, and even made my cheeks color, as I yelled his name, outraged by his unabashed and salacious humor, looking very proud of himself. It was something Mandy and I often used to question a few weeks ago, his flirty behaviour. And whereas we thought he was a womanizer at first, it turned out that it was just his usual self. Josh was over confident, much to handle, loud, energetic, witty, kinky, and all over the place, but damn was he right. The boy was a delight to be around. We went from cracking jokes, to confessing shameful sexual anecdotes, to having passionate conversations about the meaning of life, all the while drinking, and it was amazing and fascinating. The more time passed, the more I was sure we were gonna be long time friends, and it filled me with an indescriptible sense of bliss.

- If you’ll excuse me ladies, I have to go to the bathroom, could any of you show me the way ?

Mandy got up to accompany him to the hallway where the public toilets were, and I took the opportunity to clean the mess we made on the kitchen, putting beer cans in a plastic bag and carrying it outside, with the rest of the dorms' trash. Living in the dorms wasn't exactly what you'd call quiet, since everybody invited everybody to stay for the night, have a movie, sex, or booze. What was great, on the other hand, was all the freedom we had. We were all 18 or above, so the school let us be, not being bothered by boys and girls mixing, or what we did in here, only sending a supervisor once in a while to check for any drugs or broken stuff. In times like these... we all were in trouble. Like a shitload of trouble. It happened a few times, of course, but most of it we behaved, only throwing some parties once in a while.

I put the trash in front of the building, then got back inside, gradually hearing their loud voices giggling maniacally the more stairs I climbed. They probably had way more drinks than necessary and didn't even bother closing the door to our room, voices so heavy I could hear them clearly one floor below.

- Come on, you're telling me you girls are single ? Can't believe it.

- Do you really think we have time ?, replied Mandy incredulously. Besides, she's more into  long-haired, most-of-the-time-disconnected-from-reality brunettes.

Okay. This wasn't smelling good. I had a really bad feeling about this conversation. I didn't want to believe it, but deep down I just knew where this was going. Adrenaline rushed through me when I heard Josh's confused voice so out of it he didn't understand why Mandy was being so precise, and it was even worse when I couldn't hear them at all. My shaky legs ran, leading up the stairs, nearly tripping over at the last step and turning right to enter the dorm, not even taking the time to close the already ajar door behind me. They weren't in the kitchen. Why weren't they in the kitchen ? I heard noises and a low admirative whistle in the other room, where our shared bedroom was. Oh no, no no no no no no.

- Mama you've got some real talent, said Josh while glaring at something.

Lump in my throat, I took a step forward to see what he was intently staring at, only to discover a huge painted canvas of Jake's face. My heart skipped a beat, my eyes went wide. Mouth agape, I could feel all the color leaving my face, only able to stay frozen in place, watching our guest trace the outlines of his brother's long hair on the canvas with his fingers, admiring every bump of paint, every detail of the portrait I made. Never have I been so ashamed in this moment. All I wanted was to disappear, to go far, far away. There was no way he couldn't recognize his own twin. My brain, in a last attempt to save my dignity, did the only logical think it could think of at the moment. Lie.

- Why, thank you sir, it was a lot of work. Wasn't too pleased about forgetting all my magazine pictures at home, I had to use what was left. Unfortunately, a selfie of Jake. We should avoid telling him, by the way, he'll get too cocky.

It physically hurt, lying like that. First because I was keeping this secret from Josh, and second because it wasn't true. Jake would never be my last choice, ever. And speaking foolishly about him even if he wasn't here made me feel bad. It was bullshit. It wasn't a lot of work, and I didn't have a picture to look at. All of this, I painted it using my memory, only closing my eyes and remembering the glimpses I captured of him, relishing the memories... But even if it felt wrong to lie, I just couldn't tell him the truth. It was fucking creepy, he'd probably freak out or worse, tell Jake about it. Mandy must've realized her mistake because she went very silent and didn't dare contradict me when I gave Josh that false explanation. With a bit of luck, Josh won't even remember it tomorrow.

[writing-essence]

Switch Flipped - Sweet Pea

Chapter Three: Glow in Our Mouths

Pairing: Sweet Pea x Andrews!Reader, Reggie Mantle x Andrews!Reader

Warnings: Riverdale being wack 🤷🏻‍♀️ also language

Summary: After your dad was shot by the black hood, Archie has gone off the deep end, little did you expect yourself to question your northside loyalties

Author’s Note: Sorry, it’s taken so long! Check out our masterlist or #switch flipped series for the other parts. Let me know if you want to be tagged! -Milla

Word Count: 2,784

The holidays had come and gone. Christmas trees that were once radiating with the scent of fresh pine had reverted to dry needles covering living room floors.  Forgotten decorations remained in dark corners not to be found until February. The feeling of conclusion washed over Riverdale. Instead of being preoccupied with new shoes or shiny cars families were thankful to be breathing. The Black Hood met his end a biting December night much to the relief of your family. No longer would you be fearful for the lives of those closest to you. For the first time in weeks, you felt safe, like you were home again. Although that didn't stop the irking feeling of evil being hidden under your nose this whole time, walking the same fluorescent hallways of Riverdale High. 

You pushed the nagging to the back of your mind as you sat by your window. Snowflakes fell to the pavement melting upon impact. Riverdale was colder than usual, salt covered every road and sidewalk to keep lives moving instead of cooped up for the final days of break. Your eyes drifted toward a familiar figure exiting the Cooper house, a grey hat acting as armor against the frost. Your mind started to wander back to another young serpent. 

The last time you saw Sweet Pea was at FP's "retirement party." You had shown up in support along with Betty, Archie, and Veronica. While the other three decided to put on a show of their own you stayed back talking with Jughead or sitting with Toni at the bar. It wasn't the most comfortable night. You were obviously out of place in the musky bar, Veronica and Archie's rendition of "Bad World" didn't help. You left to find your brother midway through Betty's impromptu striptease. As you pushed your way passed oggling, drunk men, your face crashed into someone's chest. Your eyes trailed up to meet a familiar smirk.

“Easy there, watch where your going Princess,” Sweet Pea spoke over the slow music. You shook your head, embarrassed.

“Did you see where my brother went?” You attempted to look over his shoulder. He leaned back against the poster covered wall and motioned his head toward the exit. “Thanks,” you rushed. Sweet Pea nodded and crossed his arms moving his attention towards the stage. 

The temperamental state of high school relationships made an appearance that night. You had tried to comfort Archie the same he did for you when you broke up with Reggie, but you knew he was still in love with Veronica. After Betty and Archie caught the black hood, they rekindled their respective relationships, at least to a friendly degree. Balance restored in Riverdale, or so it seemed. 

“Students of Riverdale High, this is your principal speaking. E-mails have been sent to your parents, but effective immediately, Southside High School is shut down. Its students will be transferred to other schools in the district, including this one,” the second Weatherbee’s monotonous voice flooded through the intercom chaos ensued. 

The usual hushed highschool chatter amplified to the thousandth degree. There was a tension flooding the hallways. It was to be expected. The northside and southside are seemingly two completely different cultures, cultures that in most people’s eyes should be kept separate. You never understood the hate toward the southside. Yes, it wasn't as pretty as the neighboring northside suburbia, but the people living there are the same as everyone else. It’s not like anyone made an effort to help “clean up” the southside anyway, so what gives them the right to judge the people for doing their best to navigate what northside politicians gave them? Your dad played a significant role in your acceptance of the southside. 

Fred Andrews loved his town almost as much as his family and not just one half of it. He welcomed southsiders, namely a few Southside Serpents with open arms to his construction company. Fred never took an issue with the wrong side of town. Although he would never let you travel there alone, you had visited Jughead at the Twilight Drive-In countless times. It had an unmistakable charm; not even the most clean-cut northsider could refute. Now that it shut down the southside’s reputation went further downhill.

When Veronica asked you if you would help her greet the new Southside High students and try to make them feel comfortable walking into the Bulldogs den you jumped at the chance. She knew you would. While you were ecstatic for Jughead to return you couldn't help but hope he’d have his new rag-tag trio following behind him. 

Things had been weird in the friendship department ever since you and Reggie split. Of course, Midge was still your rock, but Moose didn't have much of a reason to talk to you anymore. It was a weird feeling. Reverting to social status, you hadn't felt since the 8th grade. No more cheering for your friends at football games and treating them to a victory dinner at Pop's. No more rides to school from Reggie when it's raining.  No more cozy couple's corner to sit at during lunch. It was the little things that caught you off guard.  And you felt bad for Midge who was stuck in the middle of it all. You didn't want her to have to choose between sitting with Moose near Reggie or help you find a new domain to eat lunch.

A piece of you wished nothing ever changed, but the rest of you saw this as an opportunity to grow. What better way to grow than by befriending Jughead's southside pals? They seemed nice enough the few times you met them. And knowing the mentality of Riverdale High, they'll need a northside ally. Not even a minute into Veronica’s introduction to the new students, the cavalry rolled in.

"Listen up, Raggamuffins," Cheryl started. You bit back a laugh at her attempt to sound intimidating regarding your school's above average GPA. She continued spewing her fascist regime until Toni challenged her. Before anything more could come of it, Archie decided to try and diffuse the situation. You were proud of your brother; he was starting to relax back into the open-hearted Archie you knew.  Your admiration for your brothers change of agenda was cut short.

"You don't speak for the Bulldogs, Andrews," Reggie butted in. "And need I remind you, these greaser-snakes showed up at your place trying to kick your ass," he said with a hand on Archie's shoulder glaring towards Sweet Pea and Fangs. You noticed Sweet Pea's face contort into venom as he pushed forward at Reggie. Before another rumble broke out, you spoke up.

"A fight that Archie started in the first place," you looked apologetically towards your brother for throwing him under the bus. Reggie looked back at you almost bewildered.

"You're really defending these thugs?" He waved his finger at the group. You took a seething breath pushing your way in front of Reggie and Archie. 

"Thugs? Reggie?" You couldn't help but snort at the irony, "have you seemed to forgotten who Riverdale High's resident drug dealer is?" With each word, your tone got sharper. You hadn't breathed in Reggie’s direction since the break. You didn't have the patience. "Apologize. Now," you crossed your arms.

Reggie looked at you as if you had a third head. His mouth floundered searching for his next attack as he glanced between you and the motley crew. You noticed Sweet Pea stepped forward breaking free of Toni and Jughead's grasp.

"I'd listen to the princess if I were you," Sweet Pea glared at Reggie. The bulldog snarled in return ready to lunge. Before he got the chance, Veronica cut in, followed by the bellow of Weatherbee.

The two forces dissipated in opposite directions. You and Veronica lead the southsiders and fellow members of the welcoming committee to the student lounge where you could finish handing out schedules and assigning tour guides in peace. Veronica made it halfway through the list.

"Who would care to show Sweet Pea around fair Riverdale?" She lifted her eyes above her reading glasses at the clump of clean-cut teens. Whispers tangled throughout the group as they stared at the brooding boy. Shaking your head at their shallowness, you stepped forward.

"I'd love to," you smiled at the surprised serpent. "C'mon Sweet Pea," you said walking out of the safety of the lounge. The two of you walked in silence as you showed him to his first-period and second-period classes. It wasn't necessarily uncomfortable. Neither of you knew what to say. You weren't exactly friends, but not strangers. While walking, you glanced up towards the clock. Six minutes before the bell inevitably rang you stopped short of Sweet Pea's giant steps. He mirrored your sudden halt.

"Um, the bells gonna ring soon, do you maybe want to pick this up during lunch?" You offered. Sweet Pea retuned a hint of a smile and agreed, taking a last look at the room numbers on his schedule before folding it and putting it in his jacket pocket. "Cool, I'll meet you back in the student lounge," stepping back you parted ways.

You tapped your pencil between your fingers on your musty textbook. History seemed especially historical today. Your teacher droned on, dust practically collecting on every word she said. All you could think about was finishing touring Sweet Pea. You were excited to see new faces around Riverdale High. Even now you looked toward your left and spotted washed out pink hair. Finally, the bell snapped you out of your gaze, and you swiped your supplies back in your bag. 

You caught up with Toni in the hall as you both headed to the lounge. She plopped down in the chair next to Fangs who was already talking to Kevin by the time you arrived. Not too long after Sweet Pea took a seat next to Kevin while Jughead took his place in the center chair. Josie and Veronica approached the gaggle of teens to made small talk and introductions. Before any meaningful conversation commenced Weatherbee barged in.

“You guys!” He commanded while pointing. We all shared glances of confusion. “Yes, you, come with me.” He promptly exited the doorway. Shrugging, we followed him to the middle of the hallway where a previously sparkling Bulldogs logo remained on the floor. As we looked closer, a green squiggle revealed itself to be a poorly drawn Serpent, tragically mimicking the same one on Jughead’s jacket. “Now! Which one of you defaced our school seal with this graffiti?” He asked pointed at the leather-clad teens.

“This is what they do, principal Weatherbee,” started Reggie in a matter of fact tone. “They tag their turf,” he smirked eyeing the tallest serpent. 

That smarmy son of a bitch. “God Reggie, could you be any more transparent?” Veronica took the words right out of your mouth. Weatherbee decided on banning all serpent paraphernalia, including tattoos. At this moment you thought Sweet Pea might be regretting the placement of his own. When everyone retreated back into the lounge, you stood your ground staring at Reggie. Weatherbee and the spectators had continued about their business. 

"What the hell Reggie," you were the first to say something. 

"I don't know what you mean Y/N," he replied feigning innocence. 

"There's only one person in this school with a car fast enough to get to the store and back with still enough time for an amateur art project during his free period," you deducted. "What's your problem with them?"

"They don't belong here," he tried to reason, "they're bad news." 

"You don't know a thing about them, Reggie!" Your arms raised up in exasperation. He continued going off on his wrong side of the tracks rant. Most of it muddled through one ear and out the other as you squeezed your eyes shut pinching the bridge of your nose. Then you heard it.

"Babe, c'mon you can't-" Reggie attempted, but you cut him off.

"You don't get to call me that," your voice sounded hollow, "you're, not my boyfriend anymore Reggie. You made that choice yourself." 

He didn't get a say in what you chose to do or who you chose to associate with. Without bothering to hear his reply you backed away from him. The person in front of you wasn't the bright-eyed boy you fell for. He was infected with the pain of loss and neglect which contorted into a hatred for people who threated the one slice of normalcy he had left. You wouldn't let him pass that virus to you. As you stepped through the doorway of the student lounge, you didn't notice a certain Serpent eyed the confrontation through the wall of windows. The leftover scowl on your face forced itself into a mildly pleasant smile. You walked up to Sweet Pea determined to finish his tour. He swiftly dug the tattered schedule from his pocket and followed you through the halls. 

"We have math together 4th period," you said stopping by the door to the dreaded classroom. "There's an empty seat by me after some kid transferred to Seaside. You can sit there if you want? Um, I mean you don't have to it's just an option if you-" you rambled worried you were being to forward.

"Thanks," he stopped you gently. 

You nodded curtly and continued with the tour. Your hands clasped in front of you twiddling with your fingers. You were nearly finished. After showing him the gym, all you had left was the library. You took your phone out of your pocket smiling triumphantly, still 10 minutes to spare before the end of lunch. Looking up to your side you noticed Sweet Pea was staring at you, he was biting the inside of his cheek.

"Do you have a question about anything," you asked suspiciously. It took him a few moments before he concluded what he was going to say.

"What was with you and that Bulldog earlier?" he questioned innocently.

"What? Reggie? He's just an idiot," you tried to brush it off. Sweet Pea's brows furrowed, quirking his head to the side.

"Really? It looked kinda intense?" He must have seen you clenching your jaw as he quickly added, "sorry, uh, its none of my business." His hand offered to surrender. 

"It's fine," you smiled reassuringly. "Let's just finish this tour shall we?"

He nodded brightly. You were surprised the way he marveled at the library. His eyes noticeably fixated on the few rows of computers. After that grand finale, the two of you said your goodbyes as you headed towards your respective third periods. Your mind started to wander. Why did he seem so interested in you and Reggie? Was he trying to make small talk? Or perhaps he was taking intel on the enemy? Whatever his motives were the bell disrupted you from sleuthing any further. 

Even the smell of the math class made you sick. The second you stepped foot in that room you were bombarded with the scent of worn out erasers, used up pencils, and tears. All trying to be masked by your teacher's obnoxiously citrusy chalkboard cleaner. You took a seat in your familiar spot second row from the back. You took out your textbook and notebooks, hissing as they slipped from your hands. Frazzled you tilted your head back to the front of the room. Sweet Pea stood next to Mr. Chase, holding back a smirk. He had obviously seen your blunder. Sweet Pea nodded at whatever Mr. Chase told him, taking a textbook from his hand and headed towards you.

"So which one's the empty seat you were talking about?" He said pointing to the desks either side of you. 

"Um, this one," you motioned to the desk on your right, adjacent the window. The boy took his seat, his long legs miraculously fitting under the table. Throughout math you held your head in your hand, struggling to keep up with the chicken scratch written on the board. Accepting defeat, your attention turned to Sweet Pea. His face was scrunched in concentration. His tongue peeked out from his lips as he clenched his hand around his pencil frantically writing away. You were amazed at how the pencil hadn't snapped due to the white on his knuckles. The dog tags around Sweet Pea's neck glinted in the sunlight that flooded through the cracks of the drawn blinds. 

You didn't understand how Reggie could see him as evil or vile. He had been polite and kind to you without incentive that night at Pop's and carried that reputation next to you. Maybe now you had a reason to look forward to math class. 

Tags:

@the-original-penguin

@6trash6queen6

@star-mum

@andyl394

@yougottalovefandoms

@we–are–infinite–2

@fandom-princess-forevermore

@danidomm

@lostnliterature

@lokiismypatronus

@xdontxcare

@heda-mikaelson

@raquelbc2003

@aholeisagoal

@ashleyforeverareject

[itskimtaehyung]

Strawberry Milk

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader

Genre: Friends to lovers, romance, fluff

Word Count: 5.7k

Content/Warnings: You and Taehyung “platonically” sharing a bed. You crushing Taehyung with your entire body while rollerskating. Going on a long drive and lying in a field with Taehyung while you stargaze.

Summary: Growing up, your little brother Jimin used to follow you around like a duckling. And wherever he went, so did his best friend, Taehyung. That made two ducklings. Although he was only a couple of years younger than you, you always saw him as a baby, like a second little brother. You didn’t expect that would ever change.

A/N: This was supposed to be for Tae’s birthday but I couldn’t finish it in time because time is an illusion

Strawberries, milk, sugar. Three simple ingredients. The flavors of your childhood. A foolproof combination that never failed to put a smile on your face. The nostalgic taste that brings back memories of those days at the strawberry field. The simplicity of youth.

You have known Taehyung for as long as you can remember. He was Jimin’s best friend, and still is, as a matter of fact.

As children, they went everywhere with you. You were only a couple years older, but to them, you seemed much bigger. You were the authority figure when there were no adults around. You made all the decisions. They followed you to the playground, the candy store, the ice cream parlor, and when they were old enough, they went with you to and from school. Your own friends accepted the three of you as a package. They understood that wherever you went, Jimin and Taehyung would follow.

Your favorite place to go was the strawberry field down the street from your house. It was a big open patch where the reddest, plumpest strawberries grew. You took the boys there where they could run around and play while you entertained your current hobby: be it reading, writing, or sometimes drawing. Taehyung loved it especially. Strawberries were his favorite fruit. He loved frolicking through the fragrant patch and picking the juiciest strawberries to snack on when he got hungry. At the end of the day, he would stuff some berries in his pocket and bring them back to your house, where he would mash them up with some milk and sugar to make fresh strawberry milk for all of you. These were his happiest memories.

Taehyung was more than just your brother’s best friend. You spent so much time together, it was like he was your second brother. As if you had twin baby brothers instead of just the one.

Jimin and Taehyung have always been quite similar, but also different. They both love to play sports, dance, and play video games. But Taehyung is more into superhero movies, while Jimin loves horror. You also have an inclination to horror, so your most of movie nights were supernatural thriller or gory slasher films. All of which gave Taehyung nightmares, but he put up with it because you were his best friends. Oftentimes after a horror movie, Taehyung would ask to stay in your room, and you would let him sleep on your bed while clutching one of your stuffed rabbits. And of course, Jimin joined in, too. However, as they grew older, the three of you got too big to fit on your bed, so the boys stayed together in Jimin’s room from then on. Taehyung took your rabbit with him.

For a long time, you didn’t stop seeing them as the babies they once were. From time to time, when you went to the grocery store, you would see a little boy in a puffy jacket much like the ones Taehyung and Jimin used to have, and think that boy looks a lot like my brother. But then either Jimin or Taehyung would walk up next to you and you’d remember that both of them are now much taller than you.

Before you knew it, high school came along. There was no more time for going to the strawberry patch and picking strawberries. Taehyung switched to boxed strawberry milk, which his girlfriend brought to lunch for him every day from her parents’ grocery store. It wasn’t the same, but it still made Taehyung happy.

Jimin also had a girlfriend, and they mostly kept to themselves. He still hung out with you and Taehyung after school, but weekends were always spent with her. You liked both of their girlfriends. They were nice. However, the boys preferred to spend their time alone with them, so you never really got to know them.

Although they had their own lives, they were still always there when you needed them. When your high school sweetheart dumped you, just days before graduation, Jimin and Taehyung dropped everything to comfort you. They bought snacks and rented movies and Taehyung made you some fresh strawberry milk. You immediately felt better because you were all together.

When you started university, you had to move away from home. It was the first time you three had been separated in what felt like your entire life. For the first semester, you and the boys texted almost everyday, but as time went on and you all got busier, the communication dwindled. Although, Taehyung still tried to video chat with you at least once a week. But two years later, when Taehyung and Jimin started school at the same university, the three of you got back together like you were never apart.

When Jimin and Taehyung applied to live in the dorms, they both wrote in the application that they wanted to room with each other. Unfortunately, they did not get their wish. The housing department stuck them each with a random stranger as a roommate. Although everyone filled out a survey during the application period so that they could be paired with someone with similar interests, they couldn’t be more different from the people they were assigned to live with.

Because of this, the boys like to escape their roommates and hang out together at your place, where they don’t have to share a couch and a TV with the entire floor. Since you aren’t a freshman anymore, you’re allowed to live off campus in a nearby apartment. You have your own room and just one apartment-mate, who is rarely home and spends most of her time at her boyfriend’s place.

On this particular night, Jimin got to pick which movie you guys would watch, and he chose some new interactive psychological thriller on Watchflux. Jimin’s sitting on the couch, sifting through the other options available on the streaming website and snacking on his favorite candy, while Taehyung is sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of him with a large basket of strawberries he bought at the market earlier today. You pour yourself a glass of milk in the kitchen and grab the bowl of popcorn you had popped and walk back into the living room, placing yourself on the couch beside your brother.

“There’s plenty of room on the couch, Tae. Why are you sitting on the floor?” you ask, popping a piece of popcorn in your mouth.

“It’s comfortable here. Plus, I don’t want to accidentally get strawberry mush on your couch.”

“So you’d rather stain the carpet?” you tease.

Taehyung frowns.

You sigh wistfully and ask, “Taehyung, how many strawberries do you think you’ve eaten? In your entire life.”

He furrows his brows, thinking. “Not sure. One million? Two million? Maybe even three million? All plausible answers.”

“You really think you’ve eaten over a million strawberries?”

“Don’t underestimate me,” he says before biting into another strawberry and flicking away the stem.

“And Jimin.” Your brother pauses with a fistful of candy halfway to his mouth. “How many gummy worms do you think you’ve eaten? You know all that sugar isn’t good for you.”

He lowers his hand. “Hey! Don’t tell me how to live my life! You’re not mom! And what about you? You really think all that milk you drink is still gonna make you grow? You’re 20 years old! You’re not gonna get any taller.” Jimin then shoves the handful into his mouth.

“You’re such a child.”

“I’m only two years younger than you!” Jimin protests, though the words are barely discernible from all the candy in his mouth.

“I practically raised you! You and Taehyungie will always be little babies in my eyes.”

Jimin swallows. “You didn’t raise us. And we’re eighteen years old! We’re not babies anymore!”

“Yeah!” Taehyung agrees.

“Whatever, you ungrateful brats. Anyway, I happen to like the taste of milk.” You pout and take a sip from your glass of milk. “Hey, put some of those in here, will you?” You thrust your glass toward Taehyung.

Reluctantly, Taehyung grabs some strawberries out of his basket, removes the stems, and smushes them between his fingers before dropping them into your milk.

“Are you all ready?” Jimin asks once the two of you are done. “I’m going to start the movie.”

You and Taehyung nod.

The movie is decently scary, even for you, and contains a fair amount of blood. By the end of it you find yourself gripping onto one of your throw pillows.

You notice that Taehyung has finished his strawberries and his fingertips are stained a bright red.

“You know, mashed up strawberries look a lot like blood.”

“Why would you say that?!” Taehyung recoils as you voice your observation.

“One time I was cutting strawberries and I hadn’t realized I cut my finger because everything was red.”

“You didn’t have to tell me that. Why would you tell me that?!” He stares down at his fingers, his eyes wide in horror.

You and Jimin laugh.

“I think, after 18 years of life, you finally made the boy hate strawberries.”

“False.” Taehyung shakes his head. “I will never hate strawberries. Strawberries have been my favorite food ever since my grandmother first fed them to me straight out of the womb.”

“Shut up!” You throw a popcorn kernel at him. “That’s bullshit and you know it.”

“It may be bullshit, but what’s not is the fact that I still love and will always love strawberries.”

Later that night, you’re half asleep when your door slowly creaks open. Light spills into the room from the hallway. You sit up and rub your eyes, only to see Taehyung standing in your doorway, clutching one of the pillows you gave him in his arms.

“Hey.”

You turn on the lamp that rests on your night stand. “Hey, Tae. Is everything alright?”

He shifts nervously on his feet. “Yeah. I just couldn’t sleep. That movie has me kind of freaked out.” He looks at you and hesitates before speaking again. “Do you… do you think I could sleep with you tonight? You know, like we used to do after horror movies?”

“Tae, you’re not a kid anymore.”

“Didn’t you say Jimin and I will always be babies to you?”

“I was half joking.”

“I know. But, I guess old habits die hard,” he says with a tired smile.

You sigh in resignation. “Fine.” You pat the empty spot next to you on the bed.

He cautiously crawls into bed next to you, careful not to get to close.

“Goodnight, Tae.”

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

You reach over and turn off your lamp.

When you wake up in the morning, you’re unusually warm, and there’s an uncomfortable weight across your body. It takes you a moment to realize that Taehyung has wrapped his arms tightly around you in his sleep. Carefully, you turn to look at him. You want to get up and get started on your day, but he’s so peacefully asleep that you don’t want to wake him.

“Tae,” you whisper.

The boy shifts closer to you, smushing his stubbly cheek against yours and enveloping you even tighter. You sigh inwardly. Perhaps you can sleep in a bit more. This does feel rather nice, having someone spoon you like this. But this is Taehyung we’re talking about here. This should be weird, but instead it feels weirdly right.

You resist the urge to reach up and cup his cheek. You don’t think he’s ever been this close to you. He’s not your baby brother anymore. Your heart thumps as the realization is finally hitting you. Even if you never felt any romantic attraction toward him in all the years you’ve known him, you definitely feel some kind of physical attraction toward him right now. You just want him to hold you forever. Breathing in the comfort of his scent, you lower your head and nuzzle it into the crook of his neck. You feel the rise and fall of his chest as he breathes, and hope he stays asleep so you can rest here a little longer. He never has to know.

Taehyung emerges from your bedroom as you’re making breakfast. You managed to slip away from him earlier without disturbing his slumber. Now, you open the fridge, grabbing a couple of eggs out of their carton as he casually saunters over to you and surveys the contents of the fridge.

Taehyung reaches over you to to grab the milk. “Hi.” He flashes a grin in your direction. He’s got a serious case of bedhead, with his hair sticking up in every direction. You start to think that he looks absolutely adorable like this, and you kind of wish you were still in bed, wrapped in his warm embrace.

“Morning, Tae. How’d you sleep?” You ask, trying not to stare.

“Like a baby.” You read his face, attempting to decipher whether anything has changed with him. “What are you looking at?” He raises an eyebrow.

You quickly dart your eyes away and shake your head. “Nothing.”

“Thanks for letting me sleep with you last night. It felt like we were kids again.” He smiles at you again.

“Anytime, Tae.” You nearly choke on the words and you hope he doesn’t notice.

“Where’s Jimin?” He asks you.

“He had class this morning, so he left not that long after you got up.”

“Ah, so it’s just you and me.”

“Mhm,” you croak. He’s looking at you, but you avoid meeting his eyes as you focus on making your eggs.

“Did he… you know, ask where I was?”

“No. He was in a hurry and I guess he assumed you already left.

He nods and grabs a box of cereal from on top of the fridge and pours himself a bowl. He leans his back against the counter, crunching on his corn flakes, while he watches you make your breakfast.

“Why are you so quiet? Everything okay?”

“Hm? Nothing. I’m just tired,” you fib.

“Were you not able to sleep because of me? I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s not that.” Quietly you add, “It’s definitely not that.”

“What was that?”

“Hm? Nothing.”

Taehyung frowns, obviously not satisfied with your answer, but he’s done with his corn flakes now, so he doesn’t press further. He simply washes his bowl and stalks toward the bathroom.

You finish making your eggs and eat them with some toast. When you’re done, a freshly-shaven Taehyung walks out of the bathroom with a handful of his PJs. He stuffs them into his backpack and slings his bag over his shoulder.

“I’m gonna head out now. Have a good day, Y/N.”

“You too, Tae.”

As soon as the door shuts behind him, you take a deep breath and exhale. This morning was nothing. He’s not even aware of the fact that he was so close to you. Nothing is different for him. You shouldn’t get so worked up over it, you tell yourself. You’ve been best friends with Taehyung for ages. Feeling this way is simply not allowed. But, unfortunately for you, you’re not that good at listening to yourself.

You figure you need to distance yourself from Taehyung until these feelings subside, but really you can’t stop thinking about how nice it was to wake up with his arms around you. You weren’t exactly avoiding Taehyung these last few days, because it would seem obvious that something was off, but you didn’t really make an effort to see him either.

Later that week, you get a text from Jimin.

Jimin: Hey I got a Groupon for the roller rink downtown. You wanna come? You: Sure! When? Jimin: Tonight? 7 ish?

This is a great opportunity for a distraction, so readily you agree.

When you show up to the roller rink later that night, you see your brother waiting out front with none other than Taehyung.

Ah, heck, you think to yourself. So much for distracting you from your newly developed feelings for Taehyung.

“Hey, guys. I didn’t know you were coming too, Tae.”

“Of course I’d invite him, Y/N,” Jimin responds. “Don’t be silly.”

You look over at Taehyung and he smiles at you, the same way he always has, but this time you feel a strange flutter in your chest as you smile back.

“Can we please go inside now?” Jimin asks. “It’s freezing out here.”

The three of you make your way up the steps and into the building.

“You know, you could have waited for me inside. I could have met you by the ticketing counter.”

Jimin merely frowns and approaches the counter. You all tell the worker your skate sizes and he grabs all of your skates and hands them to Taehyung. As Jimin finishes paying, you and Taehyung agree to walk over to the benches and put on your skates first.

“Wait, shit,” Taehyung mutters as you reach the benches. “I don’t remember which skates are which.” He holds up the bunch of skates which hang in his hand by their laces.

“Yours are the red ones,” you tell him. “Jimin and I are the same size so we both have the white ones.”

Taehyung inspects the skates and then glances are your feet. “Are your feet really that huge?”

“No!” You object. “Jimin’s are just tiny!”

Taehyung lets out a laugh, amused by your overreaction, and hands you your skates. Your hand accidentally touches his as you grab onto the laces, and you jerk your hand away a little too abruptly.

“You okay?” Taehyung asks you.

“Yeah. Your hands are just so cold,” you lie. “Man, I can’t remember the last time I went skating,” you muse, wanting to change the subject.

“I think the last time was when Jimin and I were fourteen. Unless you’ve gone without us since then.” Both of you take a seat on the bench.

“You guys know I don’t go anywhere without you.” You take off your shoes and slip the skates onto your feet. “Oh, god. How do I stand up now?” You attempt to put some weight on your feet while still gripping onto the bench, but they start to roll from under you.

“Here, let me help.” Taehyung hasn’t put on his skates yet, so he stands up easily and takes your hand in his. He slips his other hand around your waste and holds on to you firmly. “Ready? Are you holding on to me?” You nod. “Okay, stand up on the count of three. One, two, three!”

Suddenly you’re yanked off your feet and you nearly tumble forward from the momentum, but Taehyung catches you and steadies you. “You good?”

You nod, but it’s a half lie. Taehyung’s arm is still around you, and he doesn’t seem like he’s letting go anytime soon. You look up to find him staring at you and you meet his eyes. You open your mouth, feeling like you should say something, but your mind draws a blank. Taehyung continues to look at you expectantly.

“Sorry that took so long.” The sound of Jimin’s voice breaks you out of your daze. “I ran into someone from dance.”

Taehyung suddenly pulls away from you and you’re left wishing he hadn’t let go. You teeter slightly before fully gaining your balance.

“These are yours.” Taehyung hands over the other pair of white skates to your brother.

“Thanks.” Jimin takes them and puts them on. “I’m gonna out-skate both of you bitches.”

Roller skating is a lot more difficult than you remember. It’s not like ice skating, where if you get tired or frustrated, you can just leave the rink and walk normally without worrying about falling. With roller skates, you’re on constantly on wheels until you take them off, so even if you leave the rink, you have the exact same chance of falling flat on your face while on your way to the benches.

You are well aware of this as you slowly inch yourself into the rink, which is just a hardwood oval that’s sectioned off from the rest of the building. You have no idea why you’re wobbling so much, or why it’s so difficult for you to keep your balance. Last time you went skating, you weren’t nearly as bad at it as you are right now. Something about this feels extremely alien, and the fear of falling makes everything worse.

But there’s nothing wrong with falling. Sure, you might get hurt, but you can always pick yourself back up and move on. You have your brother and your best friend here to help you. So there’s nothing to be afraid of.

With this new mindset, you push forward, more confidently this time.

“Y/N! Come on!” Jimin calls out to you. He skates toward you and grabs your hand. “Why are you just standing there?”

“I’m out of practice!”

“Don’t worry, I’ve got you,” he reassures.

Your brother pulls you along with him as he skates around the rink. You struggle to keep up with him, but you’re a lot steadier than before. You’re able to let all your worries go and have fun, just you and your brother.

“See? You’re doing fine!” His eyes light up. “Hey, I’ll race you!”

Before you can even agree, Jimin lets go of your hand and zooms off, expecting you to follow. You glide one foot in front of the other, faster and faster as you try to catch up to your brother. You feel the air whipping past your face, and everyone around you is reduced to a blur.

“That’s not fair, Jimin! You got a head start!”

You’re so close to catching up to him, and when you think you can, you reach your arm and and try to tag him. However, you lean forward a little too much and you lose your balance. You try to use the breaks at the front of your skate, but that causes you to tumble forward.

You throw your hands out the soften your fall and close your eyes, knowing that you’ll hit the ground soon. You let out a yelp when you suddenly collide with something, taking it down with you. That something cushions your fall, and the next thing you know, you’re on the ground, not in nearly as much pain as you thought you would be.

You open your eyes and see Taehyung on the floor beneath you.

“Oh my god! Taehyung are you okay?” You push yourself into a sitting position and face the boy.

He lifts his head up, wincing as he rubs the back of it with his hand. “Yeah, I’m fine. I’m a lot better than you would be if you had taken that fall.”

“I am so sorry! I didn’t see you! Oh my god! Are you hurt? Do you need to go to the hospital?! Do you want me to call an–”

“I’m fine, Y/N. Really.” You turn your head to look at the hand that Taehyung has placed on your shoulder. “You didn’t crash into me. I saw that you were about to fall and rushed over.”

“Oh. I–” You feel a blush creep into your cheeks. “Thank you for watching out for me.”

“Of course. You’re my best friend. You don’t have to be afraid of falling when you’re with me.”

“Thanks, Tae.”

He smiles at you and holds your gaze for longer than you think he should. But it’s comfortable, and you find yourself unable to look away. You feel the inexplicable urge to lean in a press your lips against his, to feel how soft they’d be against yours, to know how it feels to kiss him. And you almost do.

That is, until Jimin rolls on over to you two. “What happened? Are you guys okay?”

Reluctantly, you look away from Taehyung and toward your brother. His brows are knit together in concern as he scans the two of you for any signs of injury.

“Yeah, Jimin, we’re fine. Y/N was just being a speed demon and collided with me. But we’re okay.”

You glanced at Taehyung in confusion, but you just brush it off.

“Well, if you guys are okay, you should get up because these kids are kind of getting annoyed about you being in the way.”

You were so distracted by Taehyung, you forgot how crowded the rink actually is. In those moments he was all you could focus on.

“Oh, right. Yeah, we should get up.”

Taehyung stands up first and reaches a hand out to help you. You take it and then apologize to the people around you, though none of them are really listening.

You make it back to the bench with a couple of new bruises, but nothing serious. Although, you do feel a little bit dizzy. You try to remember whether you hit your head or not. You replay the scene that happened just moments earlier. Your memory of it is quite vivid: colliding with Taehyung, having his body press against you as the two of you fall to the floor.

Taehyung kneels in front of you, gently squeezing both your arms and checking for any injuries you may not have felt. You stare at him, trying to figure out whether he feels even the slightest bit the same as you do, but you can’t get a read on his expression. He just looks concerned. “You sure you’re alright?”

You nod and watch as his hands travel down your arm until his hands are wrapped around yours. As you watch him care for you, you feel the urge to reach your hand out to tilt his face up and kiss him.

He releases your hand and places his on your thigh, causing you to startle.

“Did I hurt you?”

You shake your head. “I just wasn’t expecting you to do that.”

He continues squeezing down your leg, and you wince when he gets to your calf.

“Does that hurt?”

“A little.” You grimace as he presses down on it harder.

“I think it’s just a bruise. Do you want ice?”

You shake your head again. “No, I’ll be okay.”

He gets up and places himself next to you on the bench. “I’m glad to hear that.” He gives you a soft smile. “Are you ready to get back out there?”

“Not yet.” You grip the edge of the bench with your hands, painfully aware of how close he’s sitting next to you, his arm brushing up against yours.

Taehyung interprets your stiffness as anxiousness and places his hand over one of yours. “I’ll wait here with you until you’re ready. Even if it takes the rest of the night. And when you do decide to go back out there, I’ll make sure you don’t get hurt. Got it?”

“Thanks, Tae.”

He puts his arm around you and pulls you close, a gesture meant to reassure you, like he’s done a million times before. But this time, it feels different, and you wonder if it’s just you who feels this way.

“Hey, are you busy tonight? You wanna do something with me?”

This is the first time Taehyung has called you since that night at the roller rink. You hesitate, not knowing if you can handle seeing him again right now. The last time you hung out, it took all your willpower to refrain from kissing him. “Sure. Is Jimin coming too?”

“No, he’s busy. My boy’s got a date tonight!”

“Ooooh... A date? With who?”

“Not sure. He didn’t really specify. Probably someone from his dance team.”

Your heart clenches. Your baby brother really is growing up. “Awww. I’m happy for him.”

“Me, too. I know things didn’t end well with him and Sana, so I’m glad he’s getting back out there.”

“Yeah, me too.”

“So are you down to hang out or what?” Taehyung asks again.

You hesitate. You don’t want to say no, because then Taehyung would definitely suspect something is out of the ordinary. However, you don’t know if you can trust yourself to be alone with him. “What did you want to do?”

“I found this place online that I wanna check out.”

“What is it?”

“I can’t tell you.”

You frown, although you know he can’t see it.

“I can tell you’re frowning.”

“You know I don’t like surprises.”

“It’ll be fun, I promise.”

“Fine, I’ll go with you.”

“Cool, I’ll pick you up in 10.”

Taehyung is uncharacteristically quiet as he picks you up. When he asked you to hang out, you assumed he meant to get food at some new restaurant he found, since you guys usually go out to eat together. But he’s been driving down the same road for about thirty minutes now, and your college town is turning more and more rural as you go.

You turn your head toward him. “Tae, where are we going?”

“It’s a surprise. You’ll see.” The corner of his lip tugs up mischievously.

After about ten more minutes, Taehyung turns his truck onto an unmarked dirt road and continues driving until the two of you reach what looks like a dirt parking lot. He parks the car and gets out, walking over to your side of the vehicle to open the door for you.

He reaches out his hand and you take it, stepping down from the truck.

“Tae, where are we?” you ask, still not letting go of his hand.

Instead of answering, he shuts the car door and leads you to the green field that stretches before you.

“What is this?”

He just smiles a looks at you. “You tell me.”

Cautiously, you step onto what looks like grass, but, upon closer inspection, is actually…

“Strawberries? This is a strawberry field?”

“Mhm.” He nods, beaming at you. “Come on.”

Still holding your hand, he leads you into the field and you’re suddenly thrown back to when you two were kids, in the strawberry field by your house.

“Are we allowed to be here?”

“Yep. It’s a public field.”

You look around you. The field extends on toward the horizon. “But there’s no one here,” you point out.

“Not many people know about it. It took a lot of researching to find this place. The next closest public strawberry field is, well, at home.”

“Why did you take me here?”

Instead of answering, Taehyung puts a finger to his lip. “Shh. Look.”

At that moment, the sun begins to dip below the horizon, and the sky turns a pastel shade of pink. Almost like strawberry milk.

“Isn’t this beautiful?”

“It is.” You look off into the sunset, and you’re able to forget all the weirdness you created for yourself lately and the distance you tried to put between you and Taehyung. You notice in your peripherals that Taehyung is looking at you, so you turn your head towards him.

The two of you lock eyes, but neither of you speak. You just stand there, holding each other’s gaze, allowing the soft breeze to blow between you.

“I love you, Tae,” you sigh.

“I love you, too.”

“No. I love you, Tae.”

He steps closer, leaning in slowly and bending his head down so that his face is level with yours, and then he kisses you, so softly and gently.

“I love you, too, Y/N.”

He pulls back and scans your face, trying to gauge your reaction. You simply look at him with bewildered eyes. This kiss was nothing like you expected, but it was everything you wanted in a kiss. Delicate, tender, loving.

“Y/N,” Taehyung says softly. “Can I kiss you again?”

You’re still too stunned from the first kiss to react. But then you simply nod.

When he kisses you, you kiss him back harder.

Somehow, you and Taehyung end up lying down in the middle of the strawberry field, facing each other, surrounded by the fragrant plants and their berries.

“Have you always loved me?” You utter softly, cupping his face and stroking his cheek with your thumb.

“Of course.” He looks at you with a tender expression.

“Romantically?”

He shakes his head. “No.”

“Then what changed?”

Taehyung places a hand on your hip and pulls you in so that your bodies are touching. “You know what changed. Because it was the same for you.”

You nod solemnly. “So you were awake too.”

“I was.”

Much later, the sun is long gone, and the moon is high in the sky. Taehyung’s arm is around your shoulder, keeping you close to him. Your head rests on his chest, and your arm is slung lazily across his stomach. Billions of stars glitter above you, far more abundant and brilliant than what can be seen in the city. It’s not cold. There is a warm, gentle breeze that caresses your skin, calming you as you both silently enjoy each other’s company. You start to drift asleep when Taehyung speaks again.

“Hey, what if I dyed my hair pastel pink? Like the color of strawberry milk?”

You turn your head so that you can look at him. “Shut up. You would not.”

“Maybe I would!” He challenges. “Don’t underestimate me, Y/N.”

You chuckle and kiss him on his jaw.

“Hey, maybe we can go to New York and visit the strawberry field one day. You know, the one in the Beatles’ song.”

“You know it’s not like an actual field right?”

“What?”

“Yeah, I saw pictures online. It’s just some sad patch of grass.”

Taehyung looks at you incredulously. “Then why write a whole song about it?”

“I don’t know, Tae. I don’t know.”

You lie there, looking at each other in silence. You reach your hand up and cup his cheek.

Although there’s no one else around you to hear, it’s just so quiet here that it feels wrong to disturb the peace, so you whisper, “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” he whispers back.

He leans closer and kisses you.

“What are we going to tell Jimin?” You think about how weird this conversation would be, telling your baby brother that you and his best friend are now dating.

“We don’t have to tell time anything if you don’t want to. We can let him know when you’re ready.”

You nod and he kisses you on the forehead.

“I think the longer we wait, the harder it will be to tell him.”

Taehyung nods understandingly. “I agree.”

“Hey, can you make me some strawberry milk when we get home?”

He gives your shoulder a squeeze and places another kiss atop your head. “Of course.”

[gypsy-horror]

Nursing Not Home

                                  Nursing(Not)Home

                            Too many double shifts…..

Today started out like any other day. The alarm buzzed next to me as I hit snooze religiously in ten minute intervals. I dragged myself out of bed and put on the black, fake silk, kimono robe I had bought for myself in Chinatown. I sat on the edge of the bed and stared at the patterned geishas on the garment; envying their warm, tireless faces. This was my fourth double shift this week. The nursing home where I was employed had recently undergone a pay freeze and many of the nurses and other employees had sought out new jobs. Being short staffed was typical; but lately, it was worse than ever.

I sighed loudly as I stood up and walked to the bathroom. Glimpsing myself in the mirror, I stopped and drowsily gazed at my cadaverous expression. My long, brown hair was knotted up in a bun that sat loose on top of my head. A thick layer of plaque was caked over my coffee stained yellow teeth. The copious amount of coffee I had consumed to maintain function between my three to four hour sleep habit and my long night shifts, had neglected my oral hygiene. The freckles along my nose were prominent on my overly pale skin and resembled age spots under the luminescent light of my bathroom. They greeted the bags under my eyes as they sunk down into the deep crevices formed in dark shades of grey and blue. I frowned at the image of the girl that greeted me in the mirror. I shrugged her off, and halfheartedly dragged my lifeless body into the shower.

As I got out, the steam filled the room and covered the mirror in a thick dew. Happily avoiding the girl in the mirror, I put my black scrubs on, wrapped my dark purple stethoscope around my neck, slipped on my shoes, and headed for the door. At this point I was going to be at least fifteen minutes late; but with the shortage in staff, my boss was more than lenient on those of us picking up the slack.

When I arrived, I indulged myself in the break room with a crappy cup of cheap Folgers coffee the nursing home supplied for the staff. Next to the coffee pot was a community fridge, which housed the hazelnut creamer I used to mask the bitter taste of the extra dark coffee. As I pulled the creamer from the fridge, I could feel my newly bought creamer was... not so newly bought anymore. Apparently community fridge meant more than I thought. Glaring at my name clearly printed in sharpie on the bottle, and cap; I dripped the remains of the once full bottle into the muck in my cup. The drops weren't even enough to cloud the black coloring of my typically milky drink. Grudgingly, I threw the empty bottle into the trash and reached back in the fridge for any creamer I could find. After all, they did use all of mine...I was just doing what's fair.

"Hmmm...Jessica." I read off the bottle aloud. Your vanilla creamer will have to do. As I began to pour the remnants of Jessica’s creamer into the cup, It slimed out slowly and wretched my nostrils. I tipped it back quickly so that the mucus textured sludge didn’t have a chance to plummet into what was already a shit cup of coffee. I decided to settle for the bitter blackness, scared to venture further into the fridges depths.

The building was separated into three sections, station one, station two, and station three. Each section had around twenty-three patients, give or take any recent deaths or new admissions. There were two long hallways labeled west hall and east hall. The doors down each hall lined next to one another, contained two beds each, with zero to two residents a room. With the shortage in staff the admissions had slowed and more than the usual rooms sat empty.

I grabbed the clipboard from the desk at station one and read my assignment.

"Mara: 203A-216B, station 3.”

I unenthusiastically wrote the section on my paper and sauntered through the building to the back. Station three had the hardest patients to care for; combative and non-compliant about taking medications. This was going to be a long night.

When I got to station three I was greeted by an unpleasant sight. Her name was Haley, and she was the worst nurse on staff. She never passed all the medications out, leaving them for the shift following; She never did her charting, and my neglected patients were already on their lights like a Christmas tree glowing up the hall. The repetitive sounds of beeping filled my ears, alarming and irritating me further. Haley hurriedly gave me a half ass report and I rushed to salvage my night. Going room to room, I settled my patients minds, got them some fresh water, their medications, and tucked them in for the night. About two painstaking hours later I walked to the last of my rooms; Room 216. As I approached the room, the smell of roadkill hit my nostrils. It was worse than any smell I had ever experienced and I had been doing this job for five years. It instantly rocked my typically strong stomach. I took a step back. Had one of my patients died and Haley hadn't noticed the whole shift? I wouldn't have been surprised. I grabbed a face mask from my cart and made my way back down to the vile smelling room. There was only one lady who lived in room 216, and she was a quiet, tenderhearted eighty-seven year old with Alzheimer's. She frequently had delusions and could get aggressive when agitated, but being a whopping one hundred and fifteen pounds... she couldn't do much. I half expected to find my poor patient, Florence, dead by the smell that was coming from that room; but to my surprise I was greeted by two women. Apparently, Haley didn't just forget to hand out her meds; she also failed to mention 216 had a new admit in bed B.

"Oh!" I said puzzlingly. "I'm so sorry; had I known we had a new patient I would have came down here first to introduce myself. My name is Mara and I will be your nurse until morning, is there anything I can do for you this evening?" I said, stumbling on my words, trying not to sound flustered over my newly discovered patient. She smiled a crooked smile at me and continued sipping her hot tea.

“She must be hard of hearing,” I thought to myself, so I got a little closer and repeated what I had said a lot louder and asked her name. Still, no answer. I assumed, much like her roommate, she wasn't quite all there and decided I would read her chart when I was finished.

“Funny though,” I thought realizing only after the fact; when I walked up to her, I saw her tea cup was empty. She was sipping an empty tea cup. How strange. Not only that, but she was a strange looking woman.

Her skin was pale with a hue of blue, like someone with poor blood circulation. The blankness in her pitch black eyes was paralyzingly eerie. Her hair was short, patchy, and a dark shade of grey. She had obvious signs of scalp digging from the numerous clusters of claw shaped scabs lining her hair. Her lips were dry and flaking, and her toothless smile, smug; like she knew something you didn't. Chills ran up my spine. It was nearly silent in the room besides the obvious death rattling coming from my new patient’s lungs. She gurgled and crackled with each and every breath: silence, breath, gurgle, crackle, repeat. The sound was hypnotic and unearthly. Of course I had heard a similar sound before, but it was typically only a sound that a dying patient made before their passing. This lady was upright and clearly not dying. Something about this woman rubbed me the wrong way. I wanted to get out of the room as soon as possible. As she rolled her wheelchair backwards towards her bed, I turned to check on Florence.

I was content to find she was breathing and comfortably sleeping. Her wrinkles were softened as she relaxed her face and her long white hair cascaded down her left shoulder. She was a stunning woman of her age, and in her youth she was even more so. The photo next to her bed showed a more youthful Florence Maddex, in her white wedding dress, a beaming smile on her face, and her late husband next to her staring delightedly at her beauty. She had to have been in her thirties when the photo was taken. If Florence is fine,  where was that smell coming from? I searched the room and found nothing, so I finished up, refilled my coffee, and came back to my station.

I got out 216B’s chart and sat down to read up on my new patient. Rosemary Pine, was a ninety-eight year old woman with unidentified psychological issues, and was nearly deaf. That's why she couldn't hear me.  As I read on I also discovered she had no living family, and only one emergency contact. The contact had no name, only a number. I stared frustratingly at the lack of effort taken upon the staff to get accurate and adequate information on our new patient. How am I supposed to care for someone I have such little information on? Haley truly was the worst nurse ever.

After thoroughly searching Rosemary's file for information, I conceded and decided to focus my attention on the stack of paperwork I had waiting for me on the far end of the desk: Tylenol 2:00am, fall risk, 420cc Output. Repetitive charting on each and every one of my patients. This was going to be a long night.

I had made it halfway through my charting when my stomach began to ache as the stench hit my nose again

"Oh, god!" I said aloud. "What IS that?!" I followed the scent down the hall to room 216. I had to find out where the smell was coming from.

It was dark as I entered the room, and the smell was burning my lips and nostrils. I made my way to bed B and reached blindly for the string light. I made my way with my hand through the thick darkness and patted it against the wall searching. I nudged my hand against something where the light string should have been, but it was warm and slimy. I grabbed onto it and pulled down hard. Light beamed down and I jerked back. There was fresh blood dripping down the string and down my hands, and the bed was covered as well. I froze.

I heard heavy breathing and rattling from behind me. I slowly turned my head towards the bathroom where the horrid sound came from. Wheeling in her chair was Rosemary, not a drop of blood on her. I made my way towards her, coercing her away from the blood soaked bed, but when I turned back around, her bed was now immaculate. Not a drop or stain in sight! Her sheets were pure white and her vintage, light pink comforter sat perfectly folded at the end of the bed. The light switch was also back to normal. Was I dreaming? Had I worked so much I was starting to have delusions of my own? I shook my head furiously and pushed Rosemary's wheelchair back towards her bed. She smiled as I helped her up and laid her down. I wondered if she could read lips. I looked at her directly and mouthed "Can I take a look at your skin?"

She nodded. My hands still shaking, I grabbed a pair of medium gloves from the wall. I pulled her pajama sleeves up and checked her arms, nothing. I checked her back, her stomach, still nothing. Finally I made it down to her feet and legs. As I pulled her sock off the smell became even stronger. Her feet were bandaged all the way up to her knees. I pulled her pant sleeves up and began unwrapping the bandages. As I unwrapped, I could now see where the vile stench was coming from. Her legs and feet were covered in sores and necrotic tissue. There were parts of her legs where the flesh hung blackened off the bone. Her knees were blistered and bloodied, and her toes were nearly all missing. They appeared to have rotted off her feet entirely.

As I examined her further, I saw something beneath the remaining skin was forcing its way upwards and moving! It wriggled and pressed against her loose skin tightly; something was about to bust through. I watched stunned and held my breath as a tiny head poked its way through one of the breaks in her skin. Maggots were festering and burrowing into the remainder of this woman’s legs. I began to gag and backed away towards the sink. The poor woman! She must be in terrible pain! I quickly wrapped her rotting legs back up and tucked her tightly in with her blankets. How have they not done anything about this? She should be in the hospital!

I made my way back to my desk and quickly made it through my charting so I could focus my attention on writing a long, well thought out note for Miss Rosemary's chart.

"Patient was found to have severe necrotic tissue damage from mid knee down on both Right and Left legs, with extreme Myiasis. Concern that adequate medication and treatment is not being performed for recovery; etc."

The only thing this poor woman was being prescribed was Tylenol extra strength. I felt like it had to be some mistake she ended up in our care and hoped that my extensive notes on our new patient would be read thoroughly and handled accordingly. Something was seriously wrong with this whole situation.

Now nearing the end of my shift, I tried putting Rosemary to the back of my mind as I began nodding off on the desk. As my eyes fluttered, and then fully began to shut, a wild scream woke me from my haze. I jumped out of my chair and sprinted towards the hall. Again, a horrific scream pierced my ears and I chased after it. Room 216.... I ran in and quickly, relying on the hall light for sight. It was Florence. Her blue eyes beaming towards the ceiling and her body tensed tightly with pain. I ran to her side.

"Florence! What's wrong, what's going on?!?" She screamed again, and said nothing. I checked her pulse and listened to her chest with my stethoscope. I looked her over. Nothing appeared to be wrong with her physically, but she was frightened, no... she was more than frightened, this was sheer horror on her face. I held her hand and glanced over at Rosemary. She was peaceful and sound asleep. Even sound asleep, a sense of pride painted guiltily over her smug face. The rattling in her chest with every breath filled the empty silence and muffled the panicked exhales coming from Florence. As I looked at her, tears welled in her eyes. She stayed silent. I decided since nothing was physically wrong with her, that maybe she had a bad dream, or a delusion that caused her to become so afraid. Whatever it was, it didn't feel right. Tentatively, I began searching the room. I needed to find out more about this Rosemary woman.

I slid my hand slowly across the white lace covering her oak wood table; on it she had a pair of thick, brown rimmed reading glasses and an antique porcelain tea set with painted roses and gold trim. I picked up one of the empty tea cups and stared inside. It looked ancient! The bottom of the cup was covered in tiny scratches running every which direction and the sides of the cup were even worse. Maybe I was reading into things a little too much, but the scratches almost resembled someone or something trying to claw its way out. I could feel my heart begin to pound in my chest as I stared down at the tiny scratches in the cup.

I set it down slowly and opened the lid to the teapot. As I opened it, a single large cockroach scurried out from inside and ran out onto the table. I jumped back. The insect stared at me for a long while and I stared back. It’s beady eyes pierced into me like daggers. It’s hard brown exterior shone from the dim light in the hall.  When I moved to the left, the cockroach in return moved with me. I couldn’t blink, my eyes locked on the creature that sat before me. It was watching me. I stood still and after, what felt like an eternity, the roach scurried down the leg of the table and onto the floor. I wanted to run over and squish it, but something stopped me. I watched as the roach began running up the long pink bedding and onto Rosemary's chest. I wasn’t sure I could believe my eyes; was I that sleep deprived?  I didn’t want to...I really didn’t want to...but I  watched as the cockroach from inside the pot made its way to Rosemary's lips, pushing flaked pieces of skin with its feet as it buried itself inside. I could see her neck pulse and crawl as it made its way down the back of her throat. I began shrieking but muffled my screams with my hands as I slowly backed out of the room. Suddenly Rosemary’s eyes shot open wide, she slowly turned her head towards me and smiled evilly.

I turned and was going to run but slammed straight into the morning shift nurse.

"OUCH! Damn Mara... are you okay? You don't look so good…” the morning shift nurse said, still in pain but with concern in her voice.

"Yeah…” I responded, “I'm just tired... I've worked fifty-two hours this week already, and it's only Thursday." I didn't want to tell her what happened and that I was creeped out by our new patient, so I left it at that. It is not like she would believe me anyway.

I hurried up my charting and made sure to put a few vague, but haunting notes on my patients in room 216, and made my way out the door as fast as I could. When I arrived at home I stripped my clothes off and fell into my bed. I was not taking the effort to shower after the night I had. As my head hit the pillow I almost instantly fell asleep. My last thought was of Rosemary...and her strange tea set. This next shift was going to come all too quickly.

That night when I woke, my first thought was of her as well. I hoped that I wouldn't end up with that section tonight, but given that it was the hardest section, and no one liked to work it, I typically got stuck there. I made my way slowly through my normal routine. I wanted to call in sick, but it was way past the 2 hour courtesy notice required for call offs. I would have to suck it up.

My drive to work seemed shorter than usual. Images of blood stained walls, cockroaches,  and creepy old ladies plagued my mind. I couldn't help feeling that somehow she was... watching me. I pulled into the parking lot as the sun began to fade on the horizon. In the corner of the window by the entrance was Rosemary. I blinked tiredly and looked again with widened eyes. She was holding something... I couldn't quite make out what it was. As I got out of my car and made my way to the door, she was gone. “Odd,” I thought anxiously to myself, “She is fast for her age.”

I shook it off and made my way inside and began my usual routine of getting coffee, and checking and receiving report for my assignment. When I got to station three, I received a startling report on 216A. Florence had lost five pounds overnight and had a small sore on her right leg that hadn't been there before.  

"Strange..." I said aloud.

"Why is that strange?" The other nurse, Erin, asked. I stared blankly down the hall for awhile before I realized she was talking to me.

"Oh, nothing. It's just... have you noticed anything weird going on in that room lately?" She gave me a funny look.

"Mara, how many hours have you worked this week? Maybe you should take a day or two off, you look like you need it." I frowned as she walked away.

I made the usual rounds on my patients to quiet them all down and give them their medications. As I made my way closer and closer to 216 my hands began sweating and my stomach churned. I didn't want to go in that room, I didn't want to see her face. I took my time, trying to prolong the inevitable. When I finally ran out of excuses to stay in 215, I made my way slowly into room 216. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary when I walked in. Rosemary was at her table sipping from her empty teacup, and Florence was in the bed next to her fast asleep. The window was open slightly, and the breeze from outside lightly swayed the tan curtains. The lights were dimmed and it was quiet as death.The rattling sound in Rosemary’s chest was gone... not a sound could be heard in the room until she pursed her lips and slurped on her tea.

I decided to start with Rosemary so I could get her out of the way. When I made my way over to her, I could see her cup was again empty. I looked at her and her black eyes glared into mine. Something about her was different tonight. The wrinkles around her eyes had softened, and her dark, grey, coarse hair was lightened and shined in the light. The bags under her droopy eyes had vanished and the scabs on her scalp seemed to have healed overnight. She suddenly seemed ten years younger. Chills ran up my spine as she continued glaring into my soul. I mouthed to her that I was going to help her into bed to look at her legs. As I unwrapped the bandages, the smell hit my stomach just as usual, but I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Her legs were healing at a rapid rate. It was physically impossible for them to have healed that much in one day. Yesterday they looked as if they were rotting away. The maggots had died and shriveled laying crunched against her bandages. I shook the dead maggot carcasses into the trash and wrapped her legs back up gagging as Rosemary stared at me amusingly. I tucked her in and made my way over to Florence.

My hands flew up to cover my mouth as I gasped at the sight of her. Her long white hair was dull and dying. Her soft wrinkles were engraved into her face like a stone carvings. Her mouth gaped open and a stench as deadly as Rosemary's legs escaped with each breath. If you listened closely, you could hear a very faint rattle beginning to invade her chest. In report I was told she lost five pounds, but now by the looks of her, it was clearly at least ten. I opened the blankets to find her leg bandaged tightly. Under the bandage was at least seven lesions with already dying flesh surrounding them. I turned the light up from a dim and saw, to my horror, the sores didn't stop there. Her arms, chest, and left leg were also covered with gruesome sores. While I was looking over Florence, I could see something small crawling around tangled in her white sheets. I choked back fear and reached for the blanket shaking as I flipped the contents over, a DAMN cockroach glided out from the blankets for me. I shook my hands frantically to fling it away from landing on me. It fell to the ground with an unexpected thud.

"What did you do to her you evil bitch!" I screamed at Rosemary, knowing she couldn't hear me. But as I said it she laughed loudly and it echoed in the room. She was laughing AT me!

"Leave her alone! You understand? Just leave her alone!" She cackled louder and I ran out of the room.

I shook as I fell back into my chair. I could hardly breathe. I went to pick up my pen to write some notes on room 216, but it fell out of my hand as I trembled. I chugged what was left of my coffee and pushed the other twenty binders to the floor forcefully and focused my attention on Rosemary's chart. I hastily flipped through the pages and read every detail to find as much information on this woman as I could. There was literally no information on her that could help me. I sat defeated until I remembered her emergency contact number. It had no name, but I was sure I could at least find something out if I called.

I picked up the phone and dialed the emergency contact number. As it began ringing, another ring answered its call. The ring was coming from down the hall. I walked with the phone, as long as the cord would allow, to hear where the ringing was coming from. Room 216. My face went pale as I heard someone pick up on the other end. Heavy breathing was bellowing in my ear. My heart stopped and I stood perfectly still.

For awhile we said nothing. I gathered some courage and began asking questions.       

"Um... hello. My names Mara,” I said, ignorantly hoping the phone ringing down the hall was just a coincidence.   

“This number was listed as an emergency contact for Miss Rosemary Pine. I had a few questions I wanted to ask so I can fill out more of her chart. May I ask who this is? No one took a name for whom the emergency contact was." More shallow breathing was heard on the other line before a crackling voice began speaking to me.

"She tastes good with cream and sugar." Howling laughter could be heard on the line and down the hall. I quickly ran back to my desk and hung up the phone. It's Rosemary! But how?!? There are no phones in any of the patient rooms! I ran up the hall to station two in hopes the other nurses would understand. As I came stumbling up the hall, the other nurse on duty Jason looked oddly at me as I tried to catch my breath. I was sweating profusely.

"Jason!” I said breathlessly, “I think the new patient is killing my other patient!" I screamed psychotically. My eyes darted around the area looking for her.

“Jason she’s watching I know she’s watching!”

He sat silent.

"Uh, Mara.... are you sure?” He said, ignoring my clearly crazy comment about Rosemary watching us, “I mean these people are pretty old, and you seem, well... you just don’t seem yourself lately. You haven't gotten much rest and I think it might be getting to you. Go back to your station, finish up your work, and go home early. Take a day off. This place is starting to get to you." He said as he backed his chair away from me, clearly frightened by my behavior.

"No!" I said. "I am serious! Florence is in bad shape and I think this new lady has something to do with it. I just tried calling her emergency contact and it was her on the other line!" This is all I could tell him without further warranting a one way ticket to the loony bin.

"Mara, seriously, stop it. Who cares if she made herself her emergency contact. She's old. Give it a rest already."I walked sluggishly back to my station, feeling defeated that no one believed me. When I sat down, the phone began to ring. We never got phone calls on the night shift. I let it ring, and ring, and ring, until finally, I fearfully reached my hand to the receiver and grabbed the phone. I picked it up and gradually rested it against my ear. The heavy breathing began again and I sat frozen.

"Poor Mara, no one will believe her. The mean old lady in 216 is killing her roommate. What are you going to do, NURSE? How are you going to save her?" She laughed into my ear sending rage and fear into my heart. I opened my mouth to respond but froze speechless. She hung up and the dial tone invaded my ears. How could she hear my conversation with Jason? She was deaf! That's impossible! I went to set the phone down and as I did, the phone shook wildly in my hand. I turned the phone over and my bloodshot eyes watched as hundreds of cockroaches came pouring out of the tiny holes of the phone. I threw it down to the ground as they piled up, crawling around my feet; shaking the remainder of them off of my hand I literally began losing my mind. I thrashed and screamed in my seat. I rocked back and forth tucking my knees in for comfort. I pulled my hair and wrenched my head up screaming louder. I begged for it all to end. A piercing shriek from down the hall stopped my rocking trance. When I  looked down again, the bugs had vanished. I couldn’t move, I only stared down at the once infested carpet, trying to comprehend what was happening. Another shriek woke me from a lifeless haze. I ran down the hall to the room and began trying to comfort Florence as she hollered in pain.

"Why are you doing this!?" I screamed at Rosemary. No response. "I know you can hear me!!! What are you doing to her?" Spit foaming at the sides of my mouth, again no response. I brushed the hair out of Florence’s eyes and ran to get her some pain medication to ease whatever pain was being inflicted on her. She hollered as I stuck the pain pill in her mouth and gave her sips to swallow. It took about 5 minutes for her to finally quiet down and fall back asleep. I was thankful, but more worried about her than ever. Rosemary was next to her now fast asleep. My thoughts romanticized smothering her with her pillow. I didn't want to lose my license... but I also didn't want her killing my patient; This is how I rationalized my thirst for smothering her. We were supposed to protect our patients from all harm.

I stood over Rosemary’s bed contemplating her untimely demise and wondering how I could make it look like she died naturally. She was old. No one would ever know the difference between her dying in her sleep, being smothered, or overdosing on medication. But inevitably, I made my way to my desk, brushing my unhinged thoughts aside and burying those thoughts into the charting I hadn’t even started.

I sat down and book by book, halfheartedly charted on each of my patients. Staring blankly off at my medicine cart from time to time with a mind that was occupied with thoughts of killing Rosemary with Morphine. When I got to 216's chart I began an hour long three page progress report on both bed A and B. In as much detail as possible, I explained the impossible recovery of Ms. Pine, and the quickly declining health of Ms. Maddex. I hoped maybe if people read the notes that they could put a connection together themselves. I went to the break room when I was finished and refilled my coffee. I was exhausted from the nights venture and needed desperately to get the hell out of this place. The rest of the morning I looked at ads in the paper for open nursing positions in the area until the next shift nurse came in. I didn't even give report. I handed over the med keys and walked as fast as I could out of the building.

When I got home I did everything I could to fall asleep, but nothing was working. I couldn't get what had happened out of my mind I just wanted it to all go away. I took a few Benedryl from my medicine cabinet hoping the drowsy side effect would put me to sleep. As I laid down the room began spinning and all I could hear was her voice echoing "She tastes good with cream and sugar." As I lay there with my eyes open, a lone cockroach perched up in the corner of my room and I could only watch, paralyzed, as it seemed to watch me.

After hours of that sentence playing over in my head and staring at the spy in the corner of my room, I slowly began to doze off, but even that didn't stop the voices.

"She tastes good with cream and sugar, and I'm going to drink every last drop of her" Rosemary's words filled my dreams.

"I'm going to suck her bones dry, and there is nothing you can do about it; poor tired, Mara." She cackled. "She tastes so good, with cream and sugar!" I woke violently out of my deep sleep and hurriedly got dressed. My attire was less than work appropriate, but sweatpants and an old college t-shirt would have to do. I knew what was going on now, and I had to go save Florence!

The only thing fueling my tired body was adrenaline and fear. I fumbled with the keys for only a moment, then jumped into my car and drove as fast as I could back to work. There were many things running through my head the twenty-five minute drive felt like an eternity.

When I arrived, I quickly made my way into the building and ran down the hallway to room 216. When I got there, three men with a gurney were carrying a small black body bag out of the room. The hall wreaked of death and a delicate pale blue, sore covered hand fell out of the unzipped body bag. One of the men apologized, grabbed the hand, and pushed it back into the bag. My heart sunk into my stomach.

"What happened!?!? I yelled after the men. They looked me up and down like I was delusional. I pushed them out of the way and opened the bag. There was Florence, the beauty drained from her sore covered skin. Old blood traced her jaw line into her neck. Her soft white hair was grayed, and it had patches where it had fallen out. Her skin, was pale blue, and her body withered like a dying flower. She looked like she had aged forty years since I saw her. I got one good look before one of the men pushed me aside and quickly zipped up the body bag.

"Have you lost your damn mind? Let's get out of here before she gets any crazier." For an instant time stood still and I forgot what my purpose was in being here, that was, until I heard a slurping noise coming from room 216... That bitch was sipping that empty tea cup again, and I knew she had something to do with this. I made my way into the room and sitting in her brown oak chair was Rosemary... sipping that same god damn cup of tea and grinning. But this time, she had to look another ten years younger. Her hair cascaded down her side, grey, with auburn streaks. Her wrinkles had softened even more and her once pale skin had a soft honey glow. I furiously walked up to her and screamed in her face "What have you done to her!?!?!!"

I looked down and noticed something ...different about her usually empty tea cup. Inside her cup, was a pale white creamy colored liquid, that glowed a slight shade of yellow. I bent down to look closer and as I did, Rosemary grabbed the back of my neck and roughly pushed my face so close to the cup my nose nearly touched the fluorescent liquid. I pushed back a bit and that's when I saw it. Tiny shadows shaped like bodies floating through the creamy liquid like koi in a pond. They were airy and light, but as I looked closer, and focused my attention, I could make out the torture on their dead faces. As I glanced at each face, there, floating among the bodies, was Florence.

"She tasted so good with cream and sugar." I stepped back and grabbed for the tea cup.

"I...I...I..." I stuttered.  No words would escape my trembling lips. I grabbed for her cup and chucked it at the wall, shattering the glass into little pieces. Nothing but the glass hit the floor. I looked down at the porcelain grave. No liquid, no bodies, no Florence. I turned around to face Rosemary again, but she was gone. Not a trace of her left in the room: Her bed, once covered in her soft pink bedding, was gone; her table gone, tea set gone, all of Rosemary, gone.

I sat down against the wall next to the only remaining evidence she ever existed, and smashed my hand into the broken glass beside me.

"This isn't real, this isn't real, this isn't real" I said repetitively to comfort myself, with not much relief. I knew it was real, it was all so very real. I picked up my glass embedded hand and watched as the drops of blood ran out the cuts and stained the carpet. I scratched my bloodied hand through the glass again, wanting to feel anything but the numbness I was experiencing at that moment. My boss poked her head through the door.

"What is all this noise? What is going on, Mara? Why are you even here and what did you do to your hand." I sat still against the wall and ignored her. "Mara, I'm going to need you to come to my office." Again I sat motionless against the wall. She stood staring at me for awhile, so I finally gathered a few words for her.

"She killed Florence" was all I could manage.

"Who killed Florence?! I'm going to need to get a better report than that on this; you need to tell me what happened!" I stood up slowly and walked to station three to grab Florence and Rosemary's charts. We made our way to the corner of the building to her office. Her office was quiet and cold. Unlike the rest of the building, it was clean kept and didn't seem to belong in a nursing home. I slammed the charts on her desk and before she could get a word out, I began my own interrogation.

"Why has nobody read my notes? Why has nobody done anything about 216B?! Why did Florence have to suffer and no one paid any attention but me? Why did you keep Rosemary here when everything I charted proved we needed to get her out of here! She died because of you! No one took anything I said seriously and now look what has happened!" I nearly screamed every word of it at her. I began breathing aggressively at her. She only looked at me puzzlingly and worried.

"Mara.... there is no 216B... who is Rosemary?" She said calmly, as if she was trying to preserve what little sanity I had left. I was seconds from losing it.

"You know! Rosemary! She's the woman who moved in with Florence a couple of days ago before all of this started happening!" I grabbed 216B's chart and furiously flipped the cover open. It was blank. I flipped to the next page, blank. The next, blank. Blank... blank... blank... I began ripping through pages, savagely looking for my notes or any of her admission papers.

Nothing.

"No! No! No!" I screamed, "She was here!" I began describing every detail of the woman but stopped as I noticed my boss was giving me a look like she was afraid of me.

"Mara... I think you need to use your vacation days and go home for a couple of weeks. There has been no admissions in room 216B for over 6 months." I stared at the blank pages and said nothing. I had lost my mind. No one knew of a Rosemary but me... I was alone. I began questioning everything that had happened in the last few days, and began to believe that this was all a delusion caused by my own sleep deprivation. I had never truly been able to relate fully to my patients, until now. I had more empathy for them than I ever had. I made my way out of her office, packed the few things I had at work and walked to my car.

"I'm just crazy," I thought as I sat in the driver’s seat and slightly giggled. I couldn't wrap my mind around what had just happened. I felt it was real, but there was no proof that it was. I was stunned. I put my car into drive and pulled out of the parking lot. I was finally starting to feel the effects of the Benedryl about ten minutes into my drive. I turned on the radio to keep myself awake and my mind occupied. I stared hypnotized on the pavement. My eyes began to flutter, and I shook my head to stay awake. Again my eyes fluttered. As I tried to focus on the road something caught my attention out of the corner of my eye. A single cockroach crawled up onto my steering wheel. At that moment, I lost it. I swung furiously at the creature, with intent to kill. My car jerked back and forth, swerving across the road. I was still swinging my fists violently in the car until finally… *CRASH*

My eyes began to flutter, but this time, they fluttered awake. My sight was blurry but the faint sounds of beeping and an IV drip filled the room. As my eyes began to focus I looked down and read my wrist band.

"Mara Landry. March 26, 1989. St. John's Hospital," at that moment I felt more safe than I had in days and more rested than I had felt in months. I sunk my head into my pillow and relaxed my body. As I began to nod off, a nurse popped his head around the corner of the doorway.

"Hey! You are awake! You have been out for three days! How are you feeling" he asked enthusiastically. It took me a moment to gather my thoughts.

"I'm fine! Actually, the best I've felt in awhile.” I went to move my feet to the edge of the bed but they were heavy. I pulled my blankets over and both my legs were bruised and had large casts up to my knees.

The nurse explained. "You had quite the accident, broke both of your legs, but you’re lucky! From the damage your car took, it's a miracle you're alive!" It didn't bother me actually, the comfort the hospital gave me made me want to stay forever. We went over my care plan, he checked me over, got my vital signs, got my insurance information, some signatures he needed from me, and explained future discharge plans. He replaced my bag of Saline on my IV and a last minute remark sprang in his head as he tossed the empty IV bag into the trash and began exiting the room.

"Oh I almost forgot to tell you. We have a patient being admitted within the next couple of hours and she will be your roommate. It shouldn't be a problem though, she's a sweet older lady. Her name is Rosemary."

[winkinglester]

Run, Baby, Run

*sequel to Tech Yes, Juliet*

summary: dan and phil’s relationship is a secret until it isn’t, which is bad because they’re in feuding majors at their university

word count: 4.2k

genre: fluff 

warnings: slight angstë?? also swearing

a/n: IT’S FINALLY HERE! i have gotten so many requests to do a sequel to tech yes and i finally gave in and this took 48 years but w/e. ps don’t ask what sport the feud games are bc i don't know

Their library make-out sessions were becoming a normal thing. Phil would have Dan pushed up against the historical fiction shelf, kissing him like there was no tomorrow, smiling at the little groans and pants Dan makes when he’s turned on. They were never worried about getting caught since who the fuck reads historical fiction anyways?

“Hey,” Dan had said. It was the first time Phil brought Dan back there to their current make-out spot, and Dan got upset when he learned as to why. “I read historical fiction.”

“You must be the only one,” Phil had said, leaning in closer to Dan. Dan laughed into their kiss.

The memory had Phil smiling into their current kiss. Quiet voices nearby, however, interrupted them.

“Shh,” Dan whispered suddenly, pulling away from Phil. “Someone’s coming.” Phil leaned back from Dan and smoothed out his shirt, trying to erase any evidence that anything had just happened. Ehem.

Two girls passed by the front of the isle just as Dan had dropped to the ground, pretending to be searching for a book in the bottom shelf. They didn’t give the boys more than half of a glance.

As soon as they had passed, Phil gave a silent breath of relief. “God, why do we have to keep it a secret, Dan? It’s so tiring.”

Dan looked up at Phil through tired eyes. “You know why. We would never hear the end of it if we came out. ‘Wait, you two are dating? I thought you were in feuding majors!’ And then there’s my parents…” He said this sounding slightly exasperated, causing Phil to back off.

“I know, I know, I just…I don’t want to keep us a secret forever, I guess,” Phil said, reaching down to help Dan up.

Dan sighed, climbing back on to his feet. He left his hands in Phil’s. “I understand, Phil, and I swear someday we can shout it from the rooftops. I won’t depend on my parents anymore, so it won’t matter what they think. I’m gonna kiss you in front of a million bajillion people. I swear.”

Phil smiled. “Million bajillion isn’t an actual number, you know.”

“I’m a tech major, Mr. English.”

“I won’t forget that any time soon.”

--

Ever since the day Phil figured out who his secret admirer was, they had salvaged every moment they had together, from cheeky hand squeezes in the empty halls to suggestive glances in busy classrooms.

Dan and Phil only struggled somewhat to keep their relationship private. The only person they had told was Dan’s roommate Charlie, who couldn’t care less. They hadn’t told PJ yet since he wasn’t in the dorm much in general. He was usually out with a girlfriend, or something.

Phil was pretty sure that nobody else knew, or was suspicious, because nobody had ever asked him about Dan. Really, though, why would they? Dan was a tech major, and Phil was an English major. The only thing about them that overlapped was that they had the same taste in music. They were polar opposites, and yet that’s what made them such a good couple.

--

Scattered, passionate screams filled the air. A few hundred people had turned up for the feud game, which was small considering it was the biggest game of the year. Techies would play the English majors, which was usually a pretty fair fight. (There was always some bias since the referee majored in English, but that was beside the point.)

Dan smiled and looked across the field. In the other stands, alone, Phil sat. Dan knew it was Phil since everyone else seemed to care about sports, and yet one person sat alone, facing the wrong way. Plus, nobody else was that pale.

“What’re you staring at, dude?” PJ asked, slinging an arm around Dan’s shoulder. Dan’s eyes widened and he laughed nervously.

“Nothing, man, just watching the game,” Dan muttered. “Anyways, how are things with you and that girlfriend?”

“Girlfriend?” PJ said, raising an eyebrow.

“You’re never sleeping in the dorm, I just assumed…” Dan said sheepishly.

“I don’t have a - wait. You must mean Chris,” PJ said. “Yeah, I usually spend the night at his, just since it’s usually late by the time we’re done.” PJ winked. “I gotta run, so see you later!”

“A- alright. See you,” Dan said. Who would’ve thought?

Dan stepped off the bleachers, heading towards the other side.

“Oi, Dan, where you headed?” Charlie shouted, trying to be heard above the roaring crowd.

“Concessions stand,” Dan lied.

“Right, get me a Coke!” He yelled, throwing some cash in Dan’s direction. Dan rolled his eyes and made his way towards Phil, and apparently the concessions, too.

--

Dan stood in line for the concessions, messing around on his phone mindlessly. His eyes widened as he felt a hand on his lower back.

“Guess who,” a familiar voice said.

Dan grinned. “Hey, uh, pal. How are you?”

Phil rolled his eyes. “Doing good, bro.” Phil lowered his voice and leaned towards Dan. “After you get your drink, feel free to stop by the edge of the bleachers. I have something to show you.” Dan almost shivered.

“Uh, yeah, yeah, will do,” Dan stammered. Phil smirked and walked away.

Dan practically threw his money at the cashier.

After he got Charlie’s soda, Dan rushed to the bleachers. He was looking around in a totally-not-suspicious way when a quiet “Psst!” caught his attention. He turned around to see Phil peeking out from underneath the seats.

Dan laughed and walked over to his boyfriend. “Come on, Phil, tell me you’re more creative than making out under the bleachers.”

“Hush, you.”

--

Shrill alarm beeps were probably Dan’s least favorite sound. Charlie reached over and silenced the clock, but Dan could still hear them somewhere far away.

“Dan, you ready for the game tonight?” Charlie asked, climbing out of his bed.

Dan groaned sleepily, since it was barely past six am. “Maybe, but I don’t want to think about it right now!”

“Sheesh, sorry mate. Didn’t know you woke up with a stick up your ass,” Charlie responded, laughing and pulling his shoes on. “I’m off to the bathroom.” He walked out the door, slamming it behind him.

Dan groaned again. He only got a few hours of sleep, thanks to the essay he spent, like, nine hours working on. Maybe it would’ve taken less time had he not left all of his revisions to the last minute, but whatever. He would try again next time.

Rolling out of bed, Dan grabbed for his phone and knocked over a glass instead, sending water across the room and all over-

“FUCK, MY LAPTOP!” Dan yelled, swiping his already shitty computer from its watery grave. He wrapped a towel around it, chanting “dab not rub, dab not rub, dab not rub” under his breath.

“Please, please, don’t be dead, I need you, I need the essay I wrote, please,” Dan whispered, pulling the towel away and pressing the power button.

The screen flashed a brief, cheerful Welcome! and proceeded to the login. Dan sighed in relief. He typed his password and pulled up Word, only to see no recent documents.

“What the hell?” Dan muttered, his typing getting frantic. “Where is it?”

“Where’s what?” Charlie said, reappearing from the bathroom, a toothbrush in hand.

“My essay, from last night, I spilled water, it’s gone, my essay that took like nine hours is gone, and if I don’t find it in five seconds I’m going to scream, where is it?” Dan exclaimed, eyes wide and fearful.

“Dan, Dan, relax. Don’t run so many tabs at once, you’ll crash it,” Charlie said gently, pulling the laptop away from Dan.

Dan ran his hands through his fringe, cursing under his breath. Charlie squinted and typed something on Dan’s computer, muttering to himself. After a minute, Charlie gave one final tap on the keyboard and shook his head. “I’m sorry Dan, but it’s gone.”

“Fuck, man,” Dan groaned, running his hands through his hair again. “It’s due in a few hours, there’s no way I can finish.”

“I’m sorry mate, that sucks. I gotta run, so I’ll see you later,” Charlie said, giving one last pitying glance and heading out.

Dan gathered his things and headed out a minute later, dreading the day in front of him.

--

“Mr. Howell, not your best work,” Dan’s music professor said, handing him a graded assignment with a big red F on it. Dan sighed. He knew he had done bad, but he really didn’t think he had done this bad.

With his lost essay (that he tried to redo, but only got halfway through before it was taken for a measly half grade), his somewhat-damaged laptop, and stepping in dog shit on his way here, the F on the essay was a fantastic cherry on top of Dan’s day. All he wanted was to go back to his dorm and sleep it all away, but of course he couldn’t. Great.

The class dismissed, shaking Dan from his thoughts. He grabbed his bag and stormed out the door, not caring if he bumped people on his way out. Fuck it. Fuck them. Fuck today.

“Dan, wait up,” someone behind him said, panting and putting their pale hand on his shoulder. “Hey, not trying to ditch me are you?”

“Phil, not right now, I’m kind of pissed off and I just want to finish the day,” Dan muttered, shrugging Phil’s hand off his shoulder. “And stop putting your hand on my shoulder, someone’ll get suspicious.”

Phil withdrew his hand, looking stung. “Sorry, I just want to be able to touch you, even innocently. I wish we could tell people.”

“I know, I know,” Dan muttered, feeling almost embarrassed. God, why couldn’t Phil just take a hint and leave him alone for just one minute? “I’m just having a shit day and I’m really not in the mood so please just leave me be. And besides, you know why we can’t tell people.”

“Sorry, it’s just…hard. I hate having to think about every damn thing I say, Dan!” Phil said, his voice starting to raise with frustration. He tugged his boyfriend around a corner for privacy. “I can’t just hide forever. It’s been five months,” Phil finished, seeming exasperated.

Dan pulled out of Phil’s grip once again, a small voice telling him to calm down. He ignored it. “I’m just…” He took a breath. “I know. Fuck. I know. Give me time.”

With that, Dan turned and walked to his next class, leaving Phil behind him.

--

Dan rolled over again. And again. And again.

He couldn’t sleep. Tomorrow was going to be hell.

He reached over to the small cardboard box they were using as a nightstand to grab his phone. 4:27 in the morning. Great.

Dan sighed and suppressed a groan. He had so many things on his mind, why did he expect to get any sleep? Finals, his laptop, his slowly declining grades, and now Phil. He had been lying in bed for hours, tossing and turning. Dan half-slept for a blissful eight minutes, but was woken up by someone slamming their door down the hall. Damn you, drunken teenagers.

Phil would probably know how to deal with this, Dan thought. Phil would get me some tea and run his hands through my hair right now. He might still be up; I could text h-

Shit.

Dan grabbed his phone and quickly pulled up the last text he sent to Phil, from the day previous. He had forgotten to text him goodnight, something they always did.

Then again, Phil didn’t text him either.

Dan didn’t hold back his groan this time. Why did this have to happen now? All he wanted to do was sleep, make up with Phil, pass his finals, safely tell his parents he wasn’t straight…

Maybe in the morning.

--

“Dude, why didn’t you tell me?”

Dan opened one eye. Why did people want to talk this early in the morning? He barely slept last night, so today was probably going to suck ass.

“Hm?” Dan groaned, slowly picking his head off his pillow.

“I- whatever.” Charlie turned and stormed out of the room.

“What the hell…?” Dan mumbled. Probably just moody and hungover, he thought. He hoped.

Dan got ready quickly, seeing as he was about to be late. Just as he was slinging his bag over his shoulder, he grabbed his phone off the duvet.

 PHIL: we need to talk asap, call me

PHIL: dan please this is important

PHIL: meet me in the library at 9, u know where

 --

Dan sighed. He really didn’t want to talk it out with Phil, not just yet. Maybe he could ask for a little more time. Yeah, that should do it, he thought. I can ask to have time to myself, and not to worry about this right n-

“Dan, shit,” Phil said, appearing out of nowhere to stand next to Dan between the historical fiction shelves. “I’m sorry, I have no idea how this happened.”

“Phil, I don’t want to talk about this right now. What happened yester- “

“Dan, this isn’t about yesterday. We got outed. Everyone knows.”

Dan felt his heartbeat thudding in his stomach, like he was about to be sick. “What the hell? How?”

The other boy shook his head. “I don’t know. Maybe someone saw us at the feud game? Under the bleachers is an awfully cliché move.”

Dan closed his eyes and ran his hands through his hair. Maybe, if he pretended it was a rumor, nobody would care. He could ignore it.

“But hey,” Phil said, his voice soft. “At least we don’t have to hide it anymore.”

“Phil, what the fuck? I’ve been dreading this for months now, and all you say is ‘at least it’s over with!’ Really? This is not a fucking good thing!” Dan said, his voice beginning to rise.

“Come on, you said you wanted to be out and over with, I thought you wanted this,” Phil said, his eyebrows drawing together with confusion.

Dan leaned away. “No, Phil, that’s what you wanted. I don’t care what you think, this is never going to escape us. Not only will people freak out about the stupid feud shit, but someone’s gonna tell my parents eventually. My mom’s at the head of the board, my dad’s the biggest homophobe I’ve ever met…” Dan brought his voice down. “They’re gonna kick me out and I’ll never see you again. I’ll be lucky if I can still attend school here.”

“We can work it out, I swear,” Phil pleaded. “We can talk to your parents. It doesn’t have to get ugly.”

“It already is! Whether or not we want it, this is already bad!” Dan shouted.

“Wait, are you…ashamed of us?” Phil said taking a step back. He squinted at Dan.

“Maybe!” Dan said. “Maybe I don’t want to end up being the gay kid! Maybe I don’t want my life preceded before me! Maybe, just maybe, I knew that if I got outed, all of my attempts to establish a figure would disappear because ‘who cares about him? Sure, he’s done some cool stuff, but isn’t he the gay kid?’ I can’t be minimized to a sexuality, Phil. I fucking can’t.” Dan took a breath.

“Fuck you. Did it ever occur to you that maybe there’s nothing wrong with being gay? That turns out you can actually do shit without people minimizing you?” Phil spat. “Huh? Can you manage to get that into your head? Because there is nothing you can change about yourself. Not my fault you like it up the ass.”

Dan had never seen Phil so angry before, but all reason was out the window.

“I don’t want to hear it. I’m out.” Dan walked away from the shelf, before turning back around. “Literally,” he added with a bitter laugh. “See you around, maybe.”

Dan ignored Phil’s shouts behind him. His mind was made up.

--

Dan never understood how disgustingly perfect actions done on an adrenaline high were until now. He wasn’t quite sure what he was doing, but he just continued to throw random clothes into a duffle bag. He just needed a walk to clear his head. A long walk, far away from here. With almost all of his things.

Packing a sorry excuse of an overnight bag, scribbling a small note, and sprinting off college campus went by more quickly than Dan expected. Everything caught up with him, however, while he stood waiting for whatever public bus route he was standing in the way of. He just needed to clear his head. Just clearing his head.

Dan was just clearing his head when he stepped on the bus and sat down in the middle. He was only taking a break when he got off at the ninth stop, right across from his favorite childhood playground. Time went by too fast again while Dan stepped off, headed into the small forest, and walked to the only place he knew.  All he needed was to sit here, in the secret hiding spot he hadn’t touched in ten years, and think. Then, everything would be fine.

Fuck going to class, Phil, and everybody else in the world.  

--

Dan sat in the bushes behind the shutdown community park. If nobody looked too closely, Dan remained hidden from the world. He would stay here, just for a moment.  Just for long enough to catch his breath, take a break, and wrap his head around things. There was a small ditch filled with woodchips that Dan and his brother had originally used to try to save a hurt bird. The bird ended up dying.

Dan kind of felt like the bird.

After some time passed, Dan remembered that eventually, he would have to show up somewhere. Home and his dorm room weren’t options, so where?

“Shit,” Dan said to himself, putting his hands over his face as if he could shield himself from more stupid decisions. Shit shit shit.

And then, as if by miracle, Dan realized he had another option.

--

“Dan?”

The blonde haired girl raised her eyebrows in surprise, which was fair, since Dan showed up at her doorstep with little more than ‘hello’. “What are you doing here? Don’t you have to be at uni-“

“Lou, I love you, but I need you to not ask questions right now.” Dan pushed past his longtime friend, stepping into her apartment.

“Dan! You can’t just show up, unannounced, I have to…” Louise trailed off.

Dan ignored her. He knew he was being sort of an asshole, but a part of it felt justified. The worse your day was, apparently, the worse human being you could be.

“Look, I need to crash somewhere, and you’re the only person I know who won’t ask questions, just…please. Please. Not for long. I’ll be gone in two days, tops,” Dan said, dropping his duffel bag.

Louise sighed. “No questions at all?”

Dan smiled. “Not right now, but I’ll explain later.”

“Oh, fine. But if I get panicky calls from Phil, which I know will happen, what do I tell him?”

“Tell him…I’m clearing my head. Thank you, Louise.” Dan hugged his friend, who hugged him back cautiously.

--

Dan turned on the shower in Louise’s apartment. He stepped in, letting the water scald his skin. The water pressure was so much better here than at the shitty dorm bathrooms. Other than the heat, he couldn’t feel anything, not really. He wasn’t sad, or mad. He was just tired. He scrubbed his skin until it was red and raw, and then he scrubbed some more. He almost laughed despite himself when he borrowed Louise’s shampoo, since it was a “girly” scent. As if his masculinity was particularly strong these days.

After he finished showering, he looked in the mirror, wearing nothing but a towel. He barely recognized himself.

--

Dan sat in Louise’s lounge, relaxed on the couch next to her. Some random cooking show was playing at low volume, and Dan ignored another call from his phone, probably from Phil. He didn’t even check.

“Dan, you’ve been here for a day now, and you’re always welcome, but…what happened?” Louise said, turning towards Dan.

Dan drew in his lip and bit it. “Phil and I had a fight. We got outed and we had very different reactions.”

“Oh, honey, that’s something you can come back from,” Louise said, smiling. “The two of you are such a good couple, this isn’t the end.”

“Isn’t it though?” Dan asked, running his hands through his fringe. “I mean, Jesus, he asked if I was embarrassed of us.”

“Are you?” Louise cocked her head.

“Yes. No. Maybe?” Dan groaned. “I’m not embarrassed that I’m dating Phil, I’m embarrassed that I’m dating a boy and that people know. My parents are gonna disown me.”

Louise opened her arms and Dan leaned into them. He buried his head into her shoulder. “I’m fucked, Lou.”

“It’s okay, baby. I’ll be here for you, no matter what. The only person who can support you more than me, though, is Phil. You should call him,” Louise responded, rubbing her hands on Dan’s back.

“He’s gonna hate me, I bet,” Dan said, pulling away reluctantly. Louise gave him a look. “Or not. I’ll call him.”

Dan hit Call and felt his heart start racing. He stood up and headed across the flat for privacy. Pick up, pick up, he thought nervously. It kept ringing, until it stopped. The call went to voicemail.

“Fuck,” Dan sighed. He walked back into the living room to face Louise. “Can’t make amends if he doesn’t-“

Dan was cut off by the phone ringing. Call from: Phil<3

Louise gave him two thumbs up. Dan took a deep breath and pressed Accept Call.

“Phil, I-“

“What the hell is wrong with you? You can’t just disappear whenever you’d like! I was worried sick about you, and I couldn’t stop coming up with scenarios where you’d died or something, and nobody knew where you were, and Charlie was about to call the cops, and you didn’t even text anybody, and your note was pure shit, I mean ‘I’ll be back’ answers none of my questions whatsoever! Fuck, Dan!” Phil exclaimed, and went quiet. Dan took it as his cue.

“I know, I’m sorry, I should’ve picked up when you called, I just…wanted to ignore the world, or something, for just a day. When you told me that everyone knew about us it was like my brain shut down. I couldn’t think, I just needed to get out. I didn’t mean to scare you. I was scaring myself, to be honest. It was like, all of a sudden I was on a bus, with practically nothing, and I didn’t even recognize myself. I’m so sorry, Phil. I really hope you’re not gonna break up with me.” Dan braced himself for the worst.

“Dan, of course I’m not breaking up with you. I’m just hurt that the idea of people knowing about us is enough to make you run away.”

“I’m not embarrassed about you, really. I’m just not used to this.” Dan could practically see Phil nervously jamming his hands in his pockets. “I’m gonna try it, though. If you’ll be patient with me, I’m gonna try my best to roll with this.”

“You know I’m by your side,” Phil said quietly. Dan smiled even though Phil couldn’t see it through the phone.

“I’m gonna head back soon, meet me at my dorm in an hour?”

Phil laughed. “See you soon, nerd.”

--

Dan felt nervous as soon as he stepped back onto campus. Yes, he was ready, but fuck, he was still scared. He walked quickly, so maybe he could avoid the attention of the other students milling around. None of them gave him the time of day.

Dan struggled to unlock his door for a second too long, thanks to the shakiness of his hands. Once the door swung open, Dan was immediately greeted by someone hugging him tightly.

“Welcome home,” Phil whispered. Dan laughed and hugged him back.

“Shit, I missed you so much, Phil,” Dan said, squeezing Phil against him.

Phil nodded, and the two boys stood there for a minute, hugging quietly.

“If you’re just going to stand there, can you not block the door? A dude’s gotta pee,” Charlie said, appearing out of seemingly nowhere.

Dan jumped and Phil giggled. It was good to be back.

--

Dan and Phil walked together to their shared class, Music Theory. Halfway there, Phil slipped his hand into Dan’s. Dan fought the urge to pull away.

It’s fine, it’s fine, you’re out, Dan thought. This is normal.

In the corridor behind them, someone wolf whistled while someone else called out, “Techie traitor!” Dan felt his face heat up.

“If you want to stop holding hands, I’ll be alright,” Phil whispered to Dan.

Dan thought about replying, but decided to do something he’d normally never do.

New Dan, new Dan. He stopped in the middle of the hallway to kiss Phil. The whistles grew louder. Phil flipped them off, smiling into the kiss.

[jordan202]

My Boys: Beneath the Surface - Chapter 1

Hey Guys, I am back :)

So, as previously mentioned, I am starting a new multi chapter. This one sets 5 years after the events of MBBD. It will mainly focus on Omelia and Amelia’s relationship with her family, how it affects the dynamics of her marriage to Owen and the repercussions her trouble past has in her life up to this moment. 

Thank you to the lovely @jia911 for proofreading this overnight. You are my team!

 My Boys – Beneath the Surface: Chapter 1

 “I really don’t know how to thank you enough.”

At the sound of the words, Amelia’s mother in law turned around with a sympathetic smile on her face.

“There is no need to thank me, I’ve told you that,” The elderly woman added with a gentle nod, genuinely happy for being able to help. A couple of hours before, Amelia had called her to ask if Evelyn had any idea how to cook Spanish and Moroccan food and Owen’s mother had immediately stepped in to help, driving over to her son’s house to give the neurosurgeon a hand with the cooking.

The school to which Amelia’s kids went to was having an international fair to celebrate cultural diversity and much to Amelia’s dismay each student in the class of her eight year old twins was in charge of taking local food from a few selected countries.  

“If I can’t cook our own food,” Amelia said with a teasing smile, “how do they expect me to cook stuff I’ve never even tried before?”

“Oh, but you’ll love this dish,” Evelyn lightheartedly added, mixing the ingredients next to the stove. She was cooking a Spanish tortilla that consisted basically of eggs and potatoes and seemed very easy to serve. “Owen used to ask me to cook this when he was younger. I am pretty sure we’re going to have to save some for him,” Evelyn turned her head around and looked at her daughter in law with mischief in her eyes, “But don’t worry, I’m making more than enough.”

“I’m glad I’m not the only one who thinks your son eats like he’s been starved for the past year,” Amelia said with good humor. “And by the looks of it, it seems like my sons are just the same.”

Evelyn shared a heartfelt laughter with her daughter in law, clearly enjoying herself. The two women spent the rest of the afternoon in the kitchen, casually talking while Amelia washed the dishes and Evelyn took care of all the cooking.

.

Owen strode around the supermarket, watching as a very excited Megan had a hard time staying still inside the shopping cart.

“Meg, sit down, you’re going to hurt yourself,” Owen said gently but firmly.

The five year old did as told, clearing space among the groceries to finally sit.

“Dad, can we get ice cream for dessert today?” She turned her neck around and used her best puppy eyes to convince him. “But not that strawberry kind that Lucas likes, I want the one he likes the least.”

“Why?” Owen frowned while stopping at the cereal section to load the cart.

“Because,” Megan replied with serene logic. “If you get one he likes he’ll just end up eating everything like he always does.”

Owen let out a loud chuckle and promised Megan they would get enough of whichever flavor she chose. Reaching out for his pocket, he picked up a sheet he’d left hung on the refrigerator earlier that morning. When Owen had said he planned to go out grocery shopping, Amelia had mentioned their twin sons had a school assignment that required some special ingredients and coincidentally, Thomas had asked for a special kind of glue to finish his art project.

As a way of simplifying things, Owen had scribbled “Write down what you need” on a piece of white paper and hung it on the fridge with magnets. Thomas had written his request on it and Owen could also distinguish Lucas’ scrawl asking for sweets and the cereal brand of his preference. The twins had followed adding the list of ingredients their teacher had given them for the recipes they were supposed to take and at last, Owen noticed his wife’s elegant calligraphy as he read the two final words on the list that made him involuntarily laugh: Your smile.

Her unexpected and adorable addition brought a large smile to Owen’s face. Unable to contain a chuckle, he finished getting the items on the list with the always cheerful help of his daughter, hurrying to get back home in time to start preparing dinner.

.

Much to Owen’s surprise, he found his mother already with dinner halfway prepared the minute he made it home.

“Didn’t you say we were going to make paella?” Owen protested, lifting the bag with the ingredients he’d just gone out to get at the same time he stared at his wife questioningly.

“Why make it hard when you can make it so simple?” Evelyn intervened, justifying their change of traditional Spanish dish.

“Your mom said it, not me,” Amelia looked at Owen with a semi apologetic smile, but the amusement was clear in her eyes. It was obvious she agreed with Evelyn.

“I thought you were doing all the cooking for Danny and Robbie’s school thing?” Owen raised both eyebrows as he turned around to face her before putting the fresh ingredients in the fridge.

“Yeah, right,” Amelia’s disbelief was clear on her face as she let out a loud chuckle, clearly having fun. She had pretty much no talent in the kitchen and other than fixing a quick meal of semi cooked pasta or scrambling eggs, there wasn’t much she would venture herself with.

Owen playfully nodded his head in disapproval and carried the leftover bags to the pantry to stock the rest of the groceries. From a distance, he could hear the excited chatter coming from the kitchen and it only got louder when Megan joined in, excitedly stepping in when her grandmother asked if she wanted to help with the cooking. Something his daughter did made the two women crack up and Owen distinguished the sound of Amelia’s musical laughter vibrating in the air.

The trauma surgeon couldn’t contain a smile once he realized that the three most important women of his life were obviously enjoying each other’s company.  Over a decade before, when he’d married Amelia, it didn’t take her long to develop a close relationship with his mother. Years later, she had also come to perform a surgery that saved Evelyn’s life, tightening the bond between the two. The fact that Megan had been born that same week had only helped to bring the two women together and include the little girl in their special attachment.

Owen knew that his wife didn’t have a close relationship with her family and that they didn’t see each other much. He had always been close to his parents, developing an ever closer relationship to his mother and sister after his father had passed away. And then for a while, it had been just him and Evelyn. Owen regretted the years he’d spent neglecting his mother after being so damaged by the traumas in the war but even without meaning to, Amelia had helped him regain proximity with his mother.

Right after he’d married her, she and Evelyn had hit it off pretty quickly and in his mom, Amelia found a very caring and affectionate mother figure. When their first son was born, Evelyn had been of great help caring for the baby and the routine repeated itself every time they added a new member to the family or when the kids were on school break. Owen had long ago stopped being surprised when he came home and found his wife in the company of his mother. Even though sometimes he would accuse them of ganging up on him, Owen never really meant it because he knew that deep down, it was lovely how close the two of them had become.

Strained relationships between mother in laws and wives were very cliché and he was happy that over the years Amelia had once again grown to organically break all the expectations, uniting with Evelyn over the common love they shared for Owen and the kids, instead of unconsciously competing over it. To Owen, it just proved how kindhearted and mature his wife had become. She openly admitted how grateful she was for getting the chance to build their own happy, functional family and he knew that not a day went by when Amelia took it for granted. Her attitude was not only inspiring, it was contaminating, and Owen felt just as lucky to be able to live the dream they’d been through so much to create.

Evelyn stayed for dinner and for the rest of the night, Owen kept busy helping out Thomas with his art project. Unlike his father, the eleven year old was very talented in detailed manual work and even though Thomas could skillfully craft the miniature house he was building with wood sticks, it really helped to have his father applying glue to the assemble as he did it.

“Remind me why you’re building pillars?” Owen frowned, seeing the two story house take formation. Thomas' assignment was to craft a miniature house but unsurprisingly, his son hadn’t settled for creating something simple, choosing to add more walls and a second pavement to the project instead.

“Because Kate said hers would be better but it won’t,” Thomas replied with an ambitious grin. “So I am building a model of our house to prove her wrong.”

Owen chuckled and ruffled Tom’s hair, playfully shaking his head in denial. Thomas had always been good friends with Jo and Alex’s oldest child and they were always friendly fighting for the top of their class. As long as they kept the competitiveness on a healthy level, Owen thought it was a good thing the two kids stimulated each other to do better.

After another twenty minutes, Thomas finally decided they’d done enough and Owen could at last relax after a full day. He kissed Thomas goodnight and checked in on Lucas, who was already in his room watching television. Imagining the youngest kids were already in bed, Owen made his way to his bedroom, eager to finish the day in the company of his wife.

Even though Owen didn’t regret it one bit, having five young kids was a handful of work and at times, he wondered how they were able to manage. Among school projects, homework, extracurricular and sports activities and leisure time, he didn’t remember the last five minutes of peace he’d had. Things like reading the newspaper in the morning or sleeping in on weekends had become a luxury. Despite the full day, it was still relatively early so Owen smiled to himself, imagining that maybe that night, Amelia would be up for staying up late for a very good cause. He couldn’t remember the last time they’d had more than ten minutes to themselves and the idea of being alone with her made Owen anxiously stride to their room.

He was already thinking of ways to slowly undress his wife when, after he crossed the door to his room, his dirty smile vanished the moment Owen saw his bed had been taken over.

Amelia was already lying there as he’d imagined, but she wasn’t alone. Robbie peacefully slept lying between his mother’s legs with his head resting on her lap, while Megan and Danny were still wide awake, watching a children’s movie on the television.

“You guys are still up,” Owen tried to control his disappointment.

Amelia’s eyes met his and he could swear she smiled mischievously, as knowing exactly what was going on in her husband’s head.

“Yes, but it’s past their bedtime,” Amelia informed the kids, playfully squeezing Megan’s nose when the little girl protested.

“Can’t we at least finish the movie, mom?” Danny bargained with adorable begging eyes.

“Nope,” Amelia replied decisively. “It’ll run for at least another hour and you guys have watched it way too many times,” she added, gently shifting on the bed trying not to wake up Robbie. “Give me a kiss goodnight.”

Danny promptly did as told, being closely followed by Megan. But when Amelia handed Robbie over to Owen, he heard the little girl asking:

“Mom, can I sleep here tonight?” She skillfully made her way beneath the covers. “Please?”

Amelia once again made eye contact with her husband and saw the shadow of physical pain behind the blue of his eyes. She wanted to laugh but tried her hardest not to.

“Can she, dad?” Amelia provoked looking up to her husband, knowing very well that even though Owen really wanted the kids in their beds as soon as possible, he would hardly say no to such a sweet request from his daughter.

“Yes,” Owen dryly replied. When Megan excitedly celebrated, not for the first time he felt guilty for wishing that for at least twenty minutes a day, they got a break from the kids. Truth is, he loved them too much to even consider being without them.

The trauma surgeon took the twins to their rooms and tucked them in. Upon his return, Amelia and Megan were already lying beneath the covers with the lights off. Letting out a conformed sigh, Owen went to bed too, feeling his daughter’s arms instantly wrapping around his neck, clinging to him as she stole all space available.

He closed his eyes and let out an amused sigh through his nose, involuntarily laughing at his own predicament. Very gently, Owen turned to his side and placed the little girl on the mattress, seeing she was already too deeply asleep to wake up with the movement.

“Do you want to take her to her room?” Amelia whispered in the dark.

Owen propped his head on his elbow and stared at his sleeping child. She looked like a little angel.

“Nah,” He replied, pulling the covers to make sure she wasn’t cold.

Even though it was dark, Amelia noticed the mesmerized look on her husband’s face as he stared at their daughter. Megan really was adorable and just like her brothers, at the end of the day, gave all meaning to their lives.

“You want to have sex, don’t you?” Amelia provoked her husband, muffling her laughter at his startled expression.

“Shhh!” Owen censored her for using the word, childishly covering Megan’s ear with his hand.

“She is asleep,” Amelia justified, leaning over their daughter to give the girl a kiss on the head. “She can’t hear us.”

“How do you know?” Owen defensively asked with a whisper.

Amelia playfully rolled her eyes and got comfortable on the bed, feeling her body relax from the intense day. Owen was already half asleep when he heard his wife’s voice resonating in the room again.

“Don’t you ever just look at the kids and wonder what the heck have we done?” Amelia asked with good humor, turning to her side to face her husband.

Owen furrowed his brown heavily, apparently offended with the question.

“Of course not!” He rejected her supposition completely.

Amelia couldn’t help laughing at his outrage.

“You are way too politically correct,” She teased him, reaching out her hand to grab his. “I am not saying this is a permanent feeling, it’s not. I actually feel incredibly guilty when I think that so the thought only lasts for like, two milliseconds,” She confessed. “But come on! You have to admit it… Don’t you just wish they could be locked in Neverland for at least a little while so you could enjoy some quality, worry free moments from time to time?” Amelia asked with sincerity, making Owen lighten up. “I mean, when was the last time you didn’t have to worry about absolutely anything?”

“Before I met you,” Owen replied with mock pretense, clearly provoking her. Amelia’s laughter warmed his heart and he gently rubbed his thumb on her open palm, enjoying her touch. “Nah, I am kidding… I actually can’t remember what it’s like not to worry. I mean,” Owen turned his head to face her. “I thought worrying about my unit in the army would be the biggest responsibility of a lifetime, but then I became Chief of Surgery…” He added with a playful voice. “Then, you happened,” Owen teased her, seeing Amelia scowling at him in response. “And just when I thought my worrying days had reached its limit, I became a dad. It’s like I can’t catch a break.”

“And they just kept coming, right?” Amelia thought out loud.

“The kids?”

“No, the reasons to worry.”

“Oh,” Owen thought about it for a second, realizing how right she was. “Absolutely.”

“But yeah, the kids too, I guess,” Amelia decided with a lighthearted tone, smiling when she met her husband’s eyes in the darkness. The neurosurgeon stayed quiet for long seconds, apparently immersed in deep thought but soon after, Owen heard her voice again. “Do you ever think how it would be if we’d done things differently?”

“What do you mean?” Owen quizzically asked, more interested in the conversation.

“Well, how our lives would be if we didn’t have the kids. Or if we only had one or two like we initially planned.”

“Amelia, you have always said you wanted a lot of kids and so did I.” Owen argued.

“Yeah, but remember how after Tommy we decided to stop?” Amelia asked with a broken voice. “What were we thinking? We were so stupid back then.”

“What?” Owen chuckled at her spontaneous confession.

“Just imagine the insane amount of happiness we would be missing out on if we didn’t have the twins or Megan, or even Tom and Luke.”

“Didn’t you just say you wanted to ship them to Neverland?”

“No,” Amelia frowned, looking deeply offended. “That’s not what I said.”

“Then, what did you say?” Owen raised one eyebrow at her, having fun with how worked up she was getting.

Amelia seemed to ponder his question for a few seconds, processing her answer before opening her mouth to talk.

“I said that even though sometimes I wish I could get a five minute break, I really don’t, you know?” She played with Owen’s index finger between hers, idly staring at the ceiling while lost in thought. “I mean, even though these five brats drive me close to exhaustion nearly every day, I feel like I live and breathe for them. And I absolutely can’t imagine myself being happy without any of you.” Amelia confessed, letting her husband know of the important role he played in her life too.

“Yeah,” Owen agreed, closing his fingers around her hand and bringing it closer to give his wife a gentle kiss on her knuckles. “I feel the exact same way.” He seemed to struggle with his thoughts for a second before finally admitting. “I guess sometimes I do ask myself why we decided to have kids in the first place,” He smiled sheepishly at the confession when their eyes met. “But all it takes is one look at either of them to make me instantly remember and regret my doubts.”

Amelia grinned, happy to realize she wasn’t the only one who felt like that.

“It would be pretty cool to send them to Neverland, though,” She teased, chuckling at her realization. “This way, they’d never have to grow up.”

Owen smiled at her admission and watched as Amelia gently wrapped one arm around Megan, snuggling next to the little girl at the same time she protectively held her.

“Owen?” Amelia’s whisper broke the silence after a few minutes. “Are you sleeping?”

“I am trying to,” He did his best to hide his smile at his teasing reply.

“I spoke to Meredith today,” Amelia shared, letting out a sigh of frustration. “She is not going to the wedding.”

Owen rubbed his eyes, fighting off sleep. He knew that conversation would probably take more than a few minutes.

“Did she say why?”

“Not really,” Amelia replied, playing with a nonexistent loose thread on her pillow case. “I mean, I didn’t expect her to go in the first place anyway but as usual she just made up a sad excuse about work as a way to justify her absence.”

“Well, I can’t say I am surprised.”

In a few weeks, Owen and Amelia were traveling to the East Coast to attend Amelia’s oldest sister’s wedding. A few years before, after visiting Amelia and realizing how unhappy and frozen in time her life was, Nancy had gone back home and turned the table around. A few months later, she had divorced the husband with whom she hadn’t had a real relationship in nearly a decade, gotten closer to her kids and soon after started dating again. Now, a couple of years after meeting someone very special, Nancy was going to remarry and Amelia had planned with months in advance some free time at work so that she and Owen could spend some time in Connecticut for the wedding.

“I told her that we wouldn’t mind taking Zola, Bailey and Ellis,” Amelia confessed, supposing Owen would be on board. “I know Meredith isn’t interested in keeping a relationship with my family but the kids will always be Derek’s and they should be given the chance to spend time there. It’s their family too, after all.”

“Of course,” Owen promptly agreed. “Do they want to go?”

“I didn’t ask them yet,” Amelia confessed. “But I suppose they’ll want to. It’s summer anyway and they’ll be off school. I don’t see why they wouldn’t want to go.”

Owen was too polite to say why he absolutely agreed. Over the years, it wasn’t uncommon that Derek’s three kids came to spend time with them, often having sleepovers. Before Amelia had married him, she used to live in the same house as her nieces and nephew, and the three kids had always felt a special connection with their aunt. But over the years, they’d grown to be left alone for large periods of time while their mom was working extra hours at the hospital.

“Are we really doing this?” Owen let out a sigh of worry. “Traveling across the country with eight kids?”

“Well, Zola is hardly a kid anymore…”

“You know what I mean,” Owen turned his head sideways and looked at his wife above Megan’s head.

“It could be fun,” Amelia tried to sound encouraging.

“Yes, it could,” Owen agreed, giving up adding that it could also be a total disaster.

“Are you going to sleep now?” Amelia asked. Her voice sounded like she was still lost in her own thoughts.

“Yes,” Owen slowly moved up and leaned over Megan, surprising his wife when he gently touched her face with his hand. “By the way, I loved your request on the grocery list today.”

Amelia took a fraction of a second longer than usual to realize what he was talking about and she couldn’t help smiling in response when the memory of her spontaneous addition caught up with her.

“Well, I meant it,” She declared affectionately, feeling Owen’s thumb rubbing on her cheek as he leaned over with full intention to kiss her.

Amelia noticed the sweetness in his eyes as he intensely gazed at her, obviously admiring her features.

“We’re very well off then,” Owen realized before capturing her lips with his own. “Because this is all I need to smile.” He added, recalling her wish.

“A kiss?” Amelia giggled when he buried his face on the curve of her neck, playfully exploring the area with his lips. “Is a kiss really the price of your smile?”

“No,” He raised his head, making eye contact with his wife and seeing the contentment on her face. When Owen replied, his voice sounded firm with determinate conviction before he got back to his side of the bed to finally fall asleep, “For you, they’ll always be free of charge.”

  ---

[loraleislysiren]

Siren Song - 9

“Now go get our ingredients,” Draco commanded Y/N.

The Slytherin girl stared at him blankly. “Are you being serious right now?”

Draco answered her with unrelenting silence.

“Why would I want to help you when I’m competing against you? And also, I’m not doing anything for you if you demand me to do it.” She turned away from Draco and moved to collect the ingredients for the Girding Potion.

Disregarding what she espoused, Draco called after her, expecting her to comply, “Make sure you get my ingredients too, L/N.”

Y/N approached the table at the front of the room where Snape had rounded up the lesson’s necessary items. Gathering what she needed for her potion, she returned to her seat with sticky doxy eggs, pale dragonfly thoraxes, dried flying seahorses, shimmering fairy wings, and more. She lined her ingredients up neatly in front of her cauldron and organized the tools she’d need to prepare the varying components of the potion.

Draco glared at Y/N, “Where’s all my stuff?”

Y/N was aghast, “Did you really expect me to get all this for you?”

“You’re a sad excuse for a Potions partner, you know that?” Draco had almost assumed she would bring him the ingredients he needed to begin, and when she didn’t, he returned to insulting her. “Crabbe and Goyle were far superior. They always went and got everything for me. You’re pathetic.”

She giggled in amusement at his childish rhetoric. “Then you’re spoiled, and I’m not going to further contribute to that tragedy.”

He wasn’t use to being laughed at and it struck a nerve. He spat with derision, “Dirty blood traitor.”

“Clever, aren’t you? Shouldn’t you be hurrying up rather than talking to me? Tick tock, Malfoy.” She shot a snarky grin to her partner. He glared at her before storming off to the front of the room.

Now concentrating on the assignment at hand, Y/N read carefully over the directions that Snape had written on the board. Wanting to make sure that she followed the steps precisely, she didn’t rush her efforts. She had just begun to add the iridescent fairy wings to her cauldron when Draco appeared back at his seat, with his ingredients, visibly annoyed. A stand of his hair fell in his eyes and he pushed it out of the way sourly.

Draco and Y/N continued to work quietly for the next several minutes until the former broke the silence, “You know, it’s not like I’m useless here.”

He had been bothered by Y/N calling him spoiled, and he felt the need to justify himself. “Crabbe and Goyle always went to get everything for the potions because I was the one always doing the bulk of the work. When we worked in groups, I made the potions because it was apparent I was the best at it. Even when we worked alone, I still helped them. It was a tradeoff. And I’m a good friend. An I’m good at making potions. I do quite an actual bit in this class, and they wouldn’t have the grades they do in here without me.”

Her initial reactions was to shoot some saucy remark his way, but she thought better of it. Y/N recognized his defensiveness and eased up being so combative. “Great, I’m happy for you,” she voiced indifferently. “Now leave me alone. I’m trying to win.” Draco scoffed, “Trying would be the key word, L/N.”

Choosing to ignore this comment, Y/N didn’t provide Draco the gratification of a response. Concentrating instead on the low-bubbling brew in her cauldron, she watched her potion change from a brilliant turquoise to a deep fuchsia. So far, so good.

Y/N, in all honesty, enjoyed and appreciated potion making. Although she preferred subjects like Charms or Defense Against the Darks Arts (magic that appeared more spectacular to her), she felt that there was something methodical and calming about creating a potion. The magic was initially more subtle, but often potent and powerful in the long run. Potions, after all, could revive life or extinguish it, and Y/N respected and appreciated that fact.   Halfway through the steps that Snape had listed on the board, Y/N, out of the corner of her eye, quickly assessed the progression of Draco’s potion. His potion was a shade darker than her own, and she tensed ever so slightly when she realized that he was now a step ahead of her. How exactly had he managed not only to catch up, but to also surpass her? She frowned in his general direction upon realizing that his work seemed to be accurate and well-crafted.

Faintly frustrated, it was now her turn to interrupt the silence, “What happens if our potions are equally good? If Professor Snape doesn’t make it clear who has the better potion?”

Draco studied Y/N and then looked at her now astonishingly violet potion and smirked, “I suppose the obvious answer is whoever completes the potion first, that person would be the winner.”

She nodded, a bit begrudgingly, because she knew his suggestion was legitimate and fair. And then she found her gaze drifting to his smirk. If she lost, kissing Draco Malfoy wouldn’t be the worst thing that had happened to her. If Malfoy in fact decided to pick himself to kiss her… she didn’t know who he’d pick of course. With a bat of her thick lashes, she met his gray stare again. “That’s fine.”

With that affirmation, Y/N turned back to her work. She embraced tunnel vision while brewing her potion, and even though she knew she was behind Draco, she continued to work at her own pace and hoped that her precision and meticulousness would outshine her rival’s dexterity and swiftness (or whatever the hell it was that catapulted him ahead of her). She took her time because she believed in doing things the correct way, the first time (if she could help it). She didn’t like to be wrong (and it was rare that she was).

Focused on creating a flawless Girding Potion and beating Draco, the rest of the classroom and its inhabitants melted away. It wasn’t until her black robed professor appeared next to Draco and began to speak that Y/N realized he was finished.

Snape inspected Draco’s work, checking its color, thickness, and various other attributes.  “Very well done, Mr. Malfoy. I would expect nothing less from you. This is a successful Girding Potion and would most certainly enhance the user’s endurance.”

Draco basked in the professor’s praise and sent Y/N a smug smirk.

“The only way you could improve this potion would be to thicken it up,” Snape went on. “Let it boil just a little bit longer and your potion could be that much stronger. The side effects might last an additional couple of days then. But nonetheless, a splendid example of a Girding Potion. Bottle up your work and you may clean up your area. And please continue to aid Ms. L/N when she needs it.”

“Thank you, Professor, yes, I will.” Draco’s voice brimmed with conceit.

As the greasy haired professor strode away, Y/N pretended that she hadn’t been listening in on Snape’s conversation with his favorite student. She didn’t want to get distracted by Draco’s gloating and make some sort of careless error with her potion.

“Well, L/N, top that.”  

She wanted to ignore him. Her better instincts told her not to respond, but she couldn’t help herself, she felt compelled, “I will, Malfoy, don’t worry.” The banter between them just flowed naturally.

The blonde sneered at the girl and began to clean up his workspace, “Doubt it,” he muttered under his breath.

Twenty minutes ago Y/N had been confident that she would make a better potion than Draco, but now doubt was creeping into her mind. Draco’s potion had been nearly perfect, and Y/N had underestimated his ability.

But then again, she reminded herself, everyone always underestimated her, and her potion was pretty damn close to perfect as well. She was going to win, at least she told herself this.

Y/N was the penultimate student to finish her potion, but she knew her effort afforded her a solid Girding Potion. More than solid: exceptional.

Seeing that she was finished, Snape rounded on Y/N and peered in her cauldron. He grasped the spoon and stirred her potion, inspecting its viscosity and texture. The thick liquid’s hue, one of dirty pollen, was exactly what Y/N had been aiming for. “Well, Ms. L/N, I’m rather impressed with your potion work.” He praised her directly. “Whether or not this creation was a fluke has yet to be seen. However, since you are a Slytherin, I’m certain you will prove your prowess.” Snape shifted his attention to Y/N’s partner, “Mr. Malfoy, take note of the thickness of Ms. L/N’s potion. Slightly thicker than yours, this can be achieved by letting your potion brew longer. This is what you should aim for.”

Draco shot daggers at Y/N. Her eyes flashed triumphantly back at him for she knew Snape’s words were the nail in the coffin of her victory.

“Well done, Ms. L/N. It seems that you and Mr. Malfoy work well together. A talented Slytherin team with a propensity towards potion work. A strong pairing, I believe.” Snape narrowed his eyes, examining his students. Y/N couldn’t tell whether her professor was being sarcastic or not.

“Mr. Malfoy, help Ms. L/N with cleaning up. Good work, the both of you.” Snape left the pair quickly to help a flustered Neville. He was the only one still working on his potion and his cauldron was beginning to billow fetid black smoke, the acrid smell already clinging to the oppressive and heavy dungeon air.

When Snape was out of earshot, Y/N faced Draco Malfoy with a grin spanning from ear to ear. “So I think you own me my wand now.” She held out her empty hand, her open palm facing skyward. Draco said nothing as he placed the unusual wand in the girl’s hand.  The wood was dark with intricate designs and contrasted against the smooth handle inlaid with glinting mother of pearl. For the second time today, Y/N L/N had wounded Draco’s pride. His face was hard and stoic, but his eyes shouted indignation.

Indulging in her victory, her wand now back in her possession, Y/N unexpectedly blew Draco a kiss for the second time that day. This time, unlike in Charms, no magic happened.

Draco was surprised at her gesture and furrowed his brow in consternation.

“Thank you,” Y/N spoke sincerely, “for keeping your end of the deal.”

“I’m not a liar.” Draco defended himself.

“I never said you were,” rolled off Y/N’s tongue. “Now help me clean up like Professor Snape told you to,” she grinned at him, knowing she was testing his patience. Draco Malfoy was an asshole, that fact was still certain. Y/N, however, thoroughly enjoyed taking him down a notch and thought, if she had the chance, that she wouldn’t mind doing it again.