#to be clear this is a joke I don't honestly believe he's that oblivious. obliviousness and repression to the point of dissociate are

[devouringbodies]

will graham being bi and aware of his attraction to men and simultaneously being oblivious to any sort of sexual tension in his relationship with hannibal until bedelia spells it out for him is just the objectively funnier, and more enlightened interpretation to fellow dumbass bisexuals.

[mashiraostail]

pls pls can i request a jealous halsin x reader/tav scenario … he’s been pining over you, you’re oblivious, and then when he sees some innocent platonic affection between you and another companion, all that pining boils to the surface. mayhaps some nsfw too if you’ll indulge me. pls the way you write him is simply… *chef’s kiss*…. magnifique ✨

hoooraayyy Halsin HOORAY!! I heart making men talk like flowery little victorian women writing letters to their husband say some fruity shit big man! Idk what compels me to make these so long that's why they take forever.

I have another ask like this and maybe I'll write him doing sum primal fuck shit but this was an itch i just had to scratch

It wasn't Gale's fault, it wasn't your fault either, it was his fault. Halsin knows this, he's honestly ashamed, he shouldn't be so easy to sway...he never has been before.

He notices everything, he notices the flirtation, the questions about the life he left behind, the fleeting touches, the way you always go to him when they day is out, you propositioned him, he declined. That was his fault. It wasn't the time, he had business he had to sort before he could indulge himself, and you couldn't hold that against him. He made it clear when he turned you down, it wasn't you, and maybe one day soon things would be different.

Even so, you were always chatting with him, smiling at him, touching him, gods you always touched him. It drove him mad actually, your hand on his bicep, on his chest, on his stomach when he said something particularly funny, you sat so close to him your thighs pressed together, your shoulders and arms, all of it pushed him to the edge. And the way you said his name after you laughed at his joke, "Oh Halsin.." When you see him again after a long day, "Halsin! How'd it go?!" You'd even hugged him, thrown your arms around his neck and shoulders. He'd held the small of your back and laughed heartily with you, maybe a few ales too deep. He swore one day soon things would turn a corner for the two of you.

You doted on everyone though, and you enjoyed closeness with all your companions. Normally he'd be happy to see you sharing your joy with everyone but lately it frustrated him. He wondered what was different, even though deep down he knew. It was you, he didn't want you to himself necessarily, he wanted you to understand how he felt. The more he waited to explain himself the more upset he became, and the harder he found focusing around you to be. He felt like he was always brooding, always lingering behind the group, because the sight of you slinging your arm around Karlach or playfully mussing Astarion's hair made his stomach lurch with uncertainty. He wrote it off as a disdain for societal labels and relationships but he felt unfair even doing that, lying to himself.

He and Jaheria were the last ones to return to camp that day. He was grateful to travel with her alone, though he lamented not seeing you he did not lament the emotions seeing you caused to crop up. When he returned you were sitting on a log by the fire with Gale, chuckling and waving your hands. He'd already begun to feel wary.

Halsin inches closer, he snoops a bit sure, he's not proud of it but he's been alive long enough to accept he won’t always be proud of his actions.

"No!" You sound surprised through your laughter.

"Yes!" Gale's tone was argumentative but warm as you held onto his arms. Halsin bubbled a bit, out of everyone Gale was the most likely to get the wrong idea...or maybe the right one if the way you were squeezing him was any indiction of things.

"Did you really misbehave so terribly when you were younger?? I'll have to ask Tara next time we see her, I don't believe you!"

"Am I so untrustworthy?!" Gale sounds affronted.

"Based on your stories?? Yes! Gale! You are!" You're squeezing him and shaking him so much the pair of you topple over the back of the log you're perched on, Halsin watches Gale kick his legs for a while as you laugh.

"You'll kill me," Gale stands up and dusts himself off, "and the rest of them too!" He gestures to his orb, "I don't know how sensitive this thing is!" He hoists you up by your arm.

"I'm sorry Gale, that was just so funny, I can't picture you a young mischievous wizard at all..."

"Well it's a good thing I grew out of it." He's smirking at you though, impishly. It makes you laugh.

"Did you?" You cover your mouth as you chuckle before reaching out and dusting his hair off, tucking the rouge strands back into place. "I don't know if I believe that either. You've certainly kept your impish charm."

Halsin feels his face warm, he watched the two of you bat at each other like school children. He kissed his teeth, rubbed his calloused thumb over the smooth back of his hand, anything to distract himself from the annoyance rolling over in his stomach.

"Who's to say?" Gale holds his hands up, a faux surrender, shrugging just a bit.

"Go to sleep Gale." You shove him, snickering, "you're delirious."

"Perhaps I am." Gale smiles at you, "goodnight my friend." The words hardly do anything to put Halsin at ease he can practically feel his eye twitching. Whoever said patience was a druidic virtue?

"Sleep tight Gale." When you turn away from him you see Halsin, who to his credit had no real reason to be standing there.

"Halsin!" You chirp happily at him and he feels his chest bloom at it.

"Hello my dear, we're back late today, I apologize. Did you need us?" He tries to squash the growing disdain in his stomach in favor of appreciating you as you appear before him.

"Oh no! Nothing Shadowheart couldn't handle." You wave back at her tent, "How were your travels?"

"They were fine. Unfortunately the Harpers really can't be trusted.." He peers over your shoulder, notices your tent moved to be beside Gales, which had never been the case before.

"I figured as much." You sigh, he watches your eyebrows turn upwards. "That's upsetting. Are you going to clean up for the night?"

"Yes I think I will." He glances to the stream behind camp, no one else was there.

"Can I come? I hate to bother you but I can't sleep, and I think I kept Gale up so long he was hallucinating." Your fingertips brush his arm as you chuckle, he glances down at the point of contact. He feels the skin there heat up as you pull away.

"You're no bother, my dear." He shakes his head, "come with me."

You trot happily behind him, unaware of his stewing just in front of you.

"So, what went wrong with the Harpers?"

"You and Gale are close." Halsin elects to ignore your questions.

"Oh?" You perch on a nearby rock as Halsin crouches by the stream, "Gale? I suppose we are friendly. He's very funny."

"Is he?" Halsin fights to keep his tone even, though you seem oblivious to it.

"Did you hear us talking earlier? I swear the more sleepy he gets the funnier he is." You're giggling, like a school child. Halsin feels his eye twitch.

"I did not hear you, I only saw you fall."

"My fault completely, I was going mad with it, it was so funny, Gale told me that when he was a younger student, at that fancy magic school he snuck into the-"

"Do you..care for him?" Halsin turns to you, still crouched by the running water below him.

"I suppose I do...like him yes." You sound confused, lost, which Halsin supposes is a good sign as you'll only tell the truth.

"You like him?" Halsin is looking intently at you.

"I do, he's..nice.." You look like you're entirely unsure about what's going on.

"You like him so much because he's..nice, then?" Halsin doesn't sound like he's convinced.

"Yes I think so-"

"Do you share a bed with him?" Halsin stands, he walks towards you perched on your rock.

"I-" He almost feels bad for the way a warm flush rises to your face as you look up at him.

"N-no we don't, we haven't. We're only friendly-"

"Do you wish to? Would you wish to?"

"N-no I don't, I wouldn't he...I-" You flounder a bit, "why do you ask?"

"It seemed a certain way." Halsin kneels, face to face with you on your perch, "I worried."

"Why did you worry?"Your holding your hands by your chest, leaning away from him, shocked but not leering, nervous..you were nervous. "Why would it worry you to know I shared a bed with Gale, that I cared for him in that way?"

At the realization of your nervousness he feels guilty, he puts his hands on your thighs, "I should apologize."

"Why?" Your face was flushed, your eyes were wide as you watched him, tried to predict his next move with no avail.

"I was selfish with you. With your time, with your care." He shakes his head, "I beg you to forgive me. To not let this ruin your opinion of me..I acted so poorly...and it..it’s embarrassing and dreadful and I beg for your forgiveness...You gave me a chance to have a piece of you, I turned you away. I know you don't hold that against me. You stepped aside and I am grateful that you did. The curse was my burden to bear, and I couldn't be distracted from it, not by you, or by anybody. You understood that, and I am grateful. Had you pushed me I would have..become distracted with you, I would have followed you wherever you went, and forgotten my duty."

"I understand Halsin. I'm not offended-"

"I know you aren't, and that's why I'm so grateful for you." He looks earnest, "but I selfishly believed that you would hold onto your want for me. That you would wait indefinitely for me to come to you. I held you to an unfair expectation, to the hope that you would not share your heart, or your body, with another. When I saw you today with Gale, I worried that I had given you up, that I had made a terrible blunder and I had lost my chance to have you. Gale does not seem the kind of man to be willing to share you, and I cannot blame him, nor could I blame any other for keeping you to themselves once they've had you."

"Why does that worry you? You did not want me then-"

"I did want you." Halsin insists, "and I do want you now, I've wanted you since the beginning but I knew you would consume me, that I would lose sight of what I was meant to do..but I've burned with it, you have enamored me completely and... brought out the worst in me, I'm useless with it."

"I'm sorry Halsin.." You hold his gaze, and cover his hands with yours.

"And you still apologize as if you have done wrong." He squeezes your thighs where his hands cover, "you have not, I am the one who lost sight of things, lost sight of what I wanted, who I wanted. I was so enamored by the idea of having you I cursed any obstacle in my way, rather than telling you the truth. That was my error. It was my error to believe you would hold onto your desire even after I turned you away, to believe that you would still consider me after I put something else above you."

"I don't understand Halsin.." You blink at him as he lifts your hands, "do you want to go our separate ways? Is this too much- I apologize if I was too forward back then, but we need you-"

"No," His forehead falls onto your knees, "perhaps I am not speaking clearly." He squeezes you again, "I don't want to be parted from you, not now, not ever... I want the opposite," he sighs, "I want you now, if you'll have me, if you can put my behavior..my feelings behind us.I know it was so childish of me. I’m so sorry my songbird..please find it in yourself to forgive me.” He looks up at you, he kisses the back of your hand, “you’ll break my heart if you don’t.”

"You haven't done anything wrong....Halsin.." You shake your head, "if you need to be forgiven then I forgive you, I'll always forgive you, but...I do not think you've done anything that deserves asking for it. We misunderstood each other..."

"You are brighter, and kinder than most, perhaps you're naive... or perhaps you understand things better than any of us." He kisses up your inner arm to the crook of your elbow, "I laid some sort of...childish claim to you, I believed I deserved you, your time, your body, your heart, more than the others, that you would come to me because...I don't know..I'm sorry, forgive me for treating you like a prize to be won, a piece of land to fight over you are...your heart is so much more than that, to me and to everyone that you meet." He barely takes his lips off your skin when he looks up at you and you feel your lungs empty of air.

"Halsin..of course I forgive you..” You barely get it out, you feel so breathless.

His lips pass the bend of your elbow and make their way to your shoulder, your neck, your jaw, his other hand engulfs your waist as he moves you from your perch and pulls you to his chest,

“do you? Really?” He’s at your jaw, "I was too much of an oafish brute to put words to it, to tell you, even when I should have, I adore you, I think so highly of you. I'm so taken by you.."

"I feel the same way Halsin.." You're breathless when you're face to face, your hand holds the nape of his neck, "I thought you wanted to...focus on the more dire things at hand so I left you to them, and when things ended and you didn't come to me I thought perhaps the fascination had passed and I did not want to trouble you again-"

"You did not trouble me then, you do not trouble me now,"  He sighs gratefully as he kisses you, it’s warm, his other hand leaves your jaw to press the small of your back, arching you closer to him.

“I have to have you..I’m worried I’ll die if I don’t.” He’s breathing quickly into your mouth with anticipation, “I need to see you.. All of you and..and feel you I-”

“Oh.” You felt gooey at that, of all the things you expected to happen today this was not one of them.

“And It has to be now you see I- I can hardly put my head on right when I start to think about you like that and it’s all I've been thinking of lately... I doubt I’ll even be able to get anything done properly tomorrow if you don’t set me straight.”

You laugh at that, “okay..” You nod, leaning down to him again, just slightly taller than him perched on his lap.

“Yes?” He sounds so perfectly hopeful.

"Tell me you want me, tell me this is what you want..to be with me..and for me to have you..even after all the things we misunderstood..that you’ll let me bed you, that you want me to..” He looks up at you earnestly, his eyes flickering between yours and you nod.

"I want you, I want this, Halsin, I always have."

He let's out a warbled sigh into your lips at that, already lowering your bodies to the ground, kissing you, sliding his hands into your clothes.

He was quick to uncover you, to toss your clothes off somewhere, to sigh gratefully as you did the same to his, you wondered what had gotten into him, but had no complaints either way.

He was lowering himself between your legs easily, kissing down your chest, lavishing your stomach with attention, unperturbed by the flush creeping down your neck.

"Halsin you don't have to-"

"Please, don't deny me now.." You aren't sure why you thought he would consider this a chore.

He deluged you with loving attention, his hands slid from the sides of your thighs up to the small of you back, pulling you closer and closer to him with each stroke. He groaned when you called his name, when you carded hair through your hands or held his face. Languid stokes of his tongue, paired with the slow curling of his fingers inside you. It felt like he was indulging himself with you, occasionally he pulls away, pressing the tall bridge of his nose to your tender skin, nipping at it, taking in deep breaths of you.

He retraces his path to your lips, long kisses and wide strokes of his tongue over your stomach, open mouthed kisses to your chest and collar, then he's taking your face in his hands, "Please-"

"You don't have to beg-" Your eyebrows draw together, "Halsin, I'm in no mood to deny you."

He guides your legs around his waist and slowly guides the head of his cock into you, a hand caging you in on either side of your head. You hold the nape of his neck, and his chest, begging him closer.

"Is it too much?" He sounds almost nervous, "are you alright?" He watches your chest and stomach prattle with deep, shaky breaths.

"I'm alright," You can barely get it out, "Halsin-" You're keening as he bottoms out. He ducks into your neck smattering loose kisses and bites along your skin.

"You're singing for me again," He's sighing into your skin, pulling you closer to him, "you sound so beautiful like this..." He rests one of his hands on your chest, pressing his thumb gently to the divot between of your collar bones, feeling you suck in deep, needy breaths in time with the rolls of his hips into you. Your skin is red under his thumb, flushed with arousal, nervousness, every time he moans, or pulls you into him he feels his hand rise as you take in a deep breath.

He pulls one of your legs over his shoulder and noses at the soft skin of your inner knee, he can feel your heart beating under his hands, he can feel your eyes on him, sliding down his chest and abdomen, back to his neck and jaw then to his eyes again. His hand rises and falls rapidly with your chest as you chant his name, he free hand guides the small of your back upwards as you arch into him. Your hand holds his on your chest, wrapped loosely around his wrist, your other flutters between his arm and chest.

"I'm here," Halsin breathes it out as your leg coils tighter around him, "I hear you, singing for me." And you were, hopelessly chanting his name between long rolls of his hips and every time you felt his index finger slide down the divot of your spine, "you're doing so well my songbird.." He sighs dreamily at you, as if you weren't coming undone below him.

You wrap both of your legs around him as he guides you up into his lap with the hand on your back, your arms lock around his shoulders easily and he groans into the crook of your neck, "hold onto me, I need you close." You can feel his breath down your chest, warm thankful sighs sliding down the sliver of space between your bodies.

His hand feels worlds larger on your back than you had fantasized, he uses it to guide the roll of your hips into his, his other hand holds the back of your neck, pulling you desperately closer. He sang you praises, pulled you greedily into his chest and kissed you when you cried out particularly loud until you felt yourself tightening around him, coiling in your stomach. You felt your nails dig into the back of his shoulder, he didn't seem to mind.

When it becomes too much, when that feeling in your stomach snaps and breaks you crumple into him, you tuck your head beneath his chin, you practically cry for him. When he finishes, which is hardly a few seconds after you, he drags his hand up you back, over your waist, then presses between your shoulder blades, you hear the hoked off groan that he lets into your hair.

You kiss him again, holding his jaw in two careful hands.

"I'm sorry i've kept you up dreadfully late." Halsin's hands still slide needy over your back and waist, pulling you ever closer to him.

"It's okay it..was worth it I'd say." You laugh, "what's brought all that on? Now, after everything?"

"You didn't notice how I'd been brooding? I'd hardly been myself."

"I thought you disliked the city, I was worried you were going to ask to part from us. Astarion disagreed though he wouldn't tell me his theory."

Halsin laughs a bit at that, and after all the desperation and apologizing, it was a welcome sound, "That was for the best I think."

"Perhaps. Were you really jealous of Gale?" You leer back at the idea, "he's nice and all but he really doesn't hold anything over you."

"I was not jealous of Gale just because you found him to be..nice and funny...there are plenty of nice and funny people here." He lies and looks away from you, which is how you can tell he's lying.

"Ah. I see." Your hands rest on his chest, "sorry I misunderstood then." You're grinning anyway. You swipe his hair off his forehead, and in that moment he decides he was fair to be jealous of Gale, even fleeting touches left him feeling lavished with attention.

"Let's clean off." He turns into your palm.

"Can I spend the night with you, in your tent?" You look up at him as you stand.

"Of course." He's smiling at you, another welcome change, "you don't need to ask. I'm here whenever you need me, call for me and I'll come." He leans down to you, "I'm sorry I didn't come to you sooner." His thumb traces the shell of your ear as you kiss.

"Don't worry now, you're dramatic." You chuckle into him, "would you really have died?"

"There was no sense in risking it." He lifts you by the back of your thighs and makes his way to the water with you, "better to be safe.”

[kurosagi-h8r]

Hii love your little headcanons so I wanted to ask if you can do "what happens when mc asks the ghouls for dating advice"

I don't think mc would ever realistically ask them that but the reactions would be funny💀

WWWWWW SURE DO~~ But i'm gonna make this into parts because i don't think i'm strong enough i'm too frail to write for all of 'em in one go (no joke my shoulder pain has been killing me). so sorryyy ╯︿╰

Jin

Bold of you to assume he's gonna give you relationship advice when he can't fix his relationship with his papa

tbf he's probably gonna look at you weirdly and uhh remind you that you're his slave and nothing more and that any thought of being in a relationship with other people is forbidden

or ask you a bunch of question that will make you feel ashamed that you don't marry rich (with him as the standard) idk

Tohma

Will actually be a pretty decent guy to go for when it comes to dating advice... I think...

"blablablabla who's the guy? is it someone i know? blablabla I suggest you do this and that blablabla why not use me as an example? It won't do you any harm, no?"

"Will you update me on the progress? I don't want to be nosy, I'm simply looking out for you. Too many potential danger lurking in this place and I want nothing less than to sleep at night knowing that you're safe."

Very much biased but he can manipulate me all he wants and i will give in i won't even think twice about it

Kaito

This loser will start crying on the spot thinking that you found someone else already

"I-I never said I found someone..." and a lightbulb will come out of his head thinking that you were asking him SPECIFICALLY because HE is the one you're crushing on. "I've read somewhere that this is one of the things people do to find out more about their crush... THIS IS IT! THIS IS MY CHANCE!"

And all the advice he's giving you are the things that he wants you do to him

Not even gonna be ashamed about it go for it kaito

Luca

Most earnest in giving dating advice. He genuinely wants to help. He's even honored to be the one you go to for such important decision making.

Even if you do it to find out more about him, he's gonna be oblivious 😭 good luck

Honestly i don't have much words to back him up but personally, deep in my heart, i would go to this guy because i don't believe in myself when it comes to this kind of thing. i will trust you to set me in the right path luca ❤ i'll even trust you to beat up the shitty guy in my stead (lol)

Alan

Look me in the eye and tell me he has any dating experience

Not good with words but will stand behind you few steps away as you do what you want to do. Be it confessing your feelings or setting boundaries with your partner. For support 👍

Whether your partner finds it scary or not it's their problem

Surprisingly good at comforting maybe? If your partner breaks your heart and you don't feel like talking it out he will drive you around to clear your head.

Leo

"You're asking me? Oh my God you must be THAT desperate huh."

GIRL JUST ABORT MISSION ATP WHATEVER YOU'RE STRESSING OUT ABOUT IT'S GONNA GET WORSE IF YOU'RE SEEKING THIS GUY'S ADVI-- *got dragged away*

"Not gonna listen to all that. Why don't we just try making them jealous? You have me and I'm always down for a challenge~"

Ask yourself, which one is worse, making a deal with the devil or Leo?

Sho

Alright listen, depending on how dire the situation is i would want him to pretend to be my bf to make my partner jealous. HE'S PROBABLY GONNA HATE IT but i'm not one to pass up such opportunity /j

biker boyfriend to make your partner jealous??? why the hell not

I can feel him looking at me weirdly "you seriously coming to me for a relationship advice...?"

"How the hell would I know? Get them back with their favorite food? A way to someone's heart is to their stomach or whatever the saying goes." If it's cooking skill you're lacking maybe he can help a little.

[saikoucorps]

So since the hyperfixation is real…would it be possible to get poly hc’s with Bruce x John x reader who helped bring them closer too? (with a tiny bit of NSFW as well if possible)

:ఌ¨ BRUCE X JOHN X READER

♱ nsfw warning ┊ poly hcs ┊ batjokes x gn!reader ♱

A/N ┊ I was waiting for someone to request this!! I love them together :3

I decided to do this and add general relationship hcs (^_^)

[ pre-relationship ༉‧₊˚ ]

♤ They both beat around the bush a lot. I don't think they realized their feelings for you, or eachother. Especially Bruce. He had it worse. Poor guy was insanely oblivious to you and John.

♤ John and Bruce got along well, but they were very stupid sometimes. Both believed they were out of eachothers league, including yours!

♤ So, with these difficulties, they kept a distance between eachother. They still hung out with you though. Their thought process was basically "I don't have a chance with him, so I'll go to them".

♤ That doesn't mean they didn't love you. They very much did! You noticed this, and you couldn't take it anymore.

♤ Each hang out you planned, the other one was involved.

♤ For example, you invited John to hang out at a bar, and then suddenly "forgot" to mention Bruce was also coming. It became a habit of yours. They didn't mind, though.

♤ Infact, they were so used to it, that they forgot about their troubles from before.

♤ Everything between you three felt natural. So natural, in fact, that they got REALLY bold. Especially John. You and Bruce never get tired of his flirtatious "jokes".

And, well, Bruce being the 'playboy' that he is, always goes along with it.

♤ Your goal to bring them closer worked, and in the process, they got closer to you as well.

♤ John was the first to mention it, your relationship. What were you guys? It surely wasn't normal that three friends were so close with each other, was it? Bruce said he's whatever you both wanted him to be. You knew, as well as John, what you wanted him to be. What you wanted eachother to be.

♤ You all knew. And you were all together soon enough.

So, what if you three were dating? Finally, at least.. ༉‧₊˚

♤ It can either be absolute chaos, or an absolute smooth ride in the river. I think you can guess who's on which side..

♤ Trick question! It's both of them!

♤ If Bruce thought Alfred worrying about him on missions was bad, wait till he has two more worrying for him. It really depends, honestly. Sometimes you and John join him.

♤ Which is why they come off as overly-protective Actually, they are protective. Bruce, as Batman, constantly is checking on you two when you join him. He's sometimes even against it. He knows you two will be safe though.

♤ John is similar. He never hesitates to jump into action when you or Bruce may be harmed in any way. No matter how far he has to go. As long as your safe, he's okay.

♤ John is also jealous. He can be really possessive fast. If he sees someone flirting or trying anything with either one of you, he's stopping it immediately. Not that he doesn't trust you both, no, he wants it to be known you guys are off the table.

♤ If you had any criminal background, Bruce has it cleared right away. Thanks to Waller. As well as John's background. Because of this, you two don't have to worry about being chased down.

♤ Alfred is very used to you and John being over at the mansion, so much so he knows your favorite teas. And if you didn't like tea to begin with.

♤ John is obsessed with photos. You all could be out somewhere, or just sitting down, and he's immediately photo journaling it. He did it so much to the point of you bringing up the idea to Bruce about buying him an actual camera. And he did! He was absolutely estactic about it, and rarely ever puts it down.

♤ On the topic of photos, John decided to upgrade to a photo journal. He keeps a book of photos of you three close to him.

♤ Bruce is a total romantic. While he may not have that much relationship experiences, he definitely knows how to get under your skin in many ways. John has absolutely no relationship experience.. though, he knows how to push your buttons a lot. He's very observant!

♤ John's therapy circle at the stack decks knows all about you and Bruce.. and people who work for Bruce know about you and John. Alfred will even occasionally ask Bruce how you both are doing.

♤ Bruce loves to tease you and John by being sarcastic. John actually enjoys this, as well as you. Humor is very common among you three. There's never a moment where John won't break the silence with a joke or chuckle.

now, onto the nsfw 👀.. ༉‧₊˚

♤ John. That should explain enough.

Okay, well, let me explain.

♤ Bruce likes to pretend he enjoys meaningful and loving sex. He does, but he's a sucker for rough and kinky.

♤ John knew of this, as did you. You just didn't expect John to use it against you as well.

♤ He made things very interesting.. even got Bruce to come out his shell! He'd have new ideas for you two and would always tease you both badly during the day.

"You've got quite the grip on that."

"Mm so aggressive."

"Those lips can be very useful for something else."

♤ He'd send you both dirty texts throughout the day, on purpose. At the worst times. Once sent you one while you were at a meeting, a semi important one infact. You were listening to your boss until you felt your phone vibrate and decide to check it in secret. You knew it was either John, or Bruce. Your notifications are all off except for their messages. All you saw was the most diabolical thing ever, it was impossible not to have an reaction.

♤ It soon became a game between you all. You went to get back at him, Bruce got back at him, soon enough Brucie's sarcastic and teasing nature caught up with you and you felt challenged.

♤ None of you hated it. It made everything all more interesting.

♤ The boys are crazy switches. Bruce used to choose to believe he was a top, until you/John proved him wrong. He enjoyed both positions, as long as he could service either one of you guys.

♤ John is definitely not afraid of praise. He knows how to get you both going, he will never hold back. One simple gesture can have him holding you so softly and telling you how amazing you are at this.

♤ Bruce is very touchy. In public and in private. Especially in private. He isn't afraid to do it in public. He's all up for risks.

♤ So much, that he allowed you to be under his desk as an employee spoke to him. John knew all about this and teases Bruce about it. Even said to let him try it out sometime.

♤ With how strong Bruce is, you have to hope the bed stays intacted. And yourself.

♤ Bruce is rich, so imagine all the toys he could by with his money. They do not hold back.

I hope this is good enough !!

likes + reblogs appreciated :)

[yeonslayjun]

Dumb and Dumber - Hualian

Hua Cheng and Xie Lian are so OBVIOUS and OBLIVIOUS at the same time Honestly They amaze me ngl

Cuz Hua Cheng be Like - Wdym Gege Loves me?? That's impossible like I don't think he loves me solely for the fact that I'm one of his last believer left and that I built a FUCKING CITY for him and how I ran helped him in a case and dressed up as a Groom and gege was a bride (Oh his dead heart definitely started beating then pls ) and how I Built a temple to worship him and how I released 3000 lanterns for him and that I've made 10,000 statues for gege and not how I have red thread of fate on my finger bc he tied his hair on my finger

ALSO wdym I had my gay awakening at the land of tender??? Impossible He's my god I can't have those feelings for him bc I'm a dirty piece of shit (NO YOU ARE NOT)

and DEFINITELY NOT HOW I GAVE HIM Spirtual Power... DEFINITELY NOT HAHAHA.... Now let me just ask his hand for marriage OH nvm I'm unworthy he doesn't like me ( WHILE XIE LIAN IS SITTING ON HIS LAP ) let's make it into a joke hahaha..... OH? Gege's says he's happy for my beloved when will he know it's him talking about?? :( ( let's ignore he didn't know half of these lmao)

OH MY GOD GEGE SAW THE STATUES That's it I'm getting disowned by him He'll hate me ofc he will... I knew this would happen no I'm okay, IT'S FINE... Yeah he really should make it clear that he doesn't love me huh? :((

Like Hua Cheng is SO DOWN BAD for Xie Lian Like Honey we get it You exist to LOVE your Taizi Danxia and to serve Cvnt and angst

AND

My guy Xie Lian here is SO VERY OBLIVIOUS like I get that he was practicing abstinence but bro's like -

Oh Hua Cheng is such a pretty name *giggles* Oh and his hands were so beautiful and he was gentle with me too when he dressed as the Groom *blushes* Oh Crimson Rain Sought Flower is his name? *swoons* HOLY SHIT HE'S HOT *nosebleeds*

I like this kid san lang. OoO Did he just suck the poison out of me?!?! DAYUM he killed so many people at once *swoons x2*... WAIT IS HE HUA CHENG??!?! Oh my gosh IT IS Hua Cheng ajhsjdhsudhu Let's act calm and composed hehe. Let's sleep together cuz He would never hurt me >:( I wonder what happened to the kid who said he'd worship only me :( He was a good kid yk? Had one eye covered too kinda like you actually haha Funny Right???

He's so perfect as a "sworn brother" ( Yes I'm looking at you SQX) protecting me and shit. Wait he trusts me??? ME?!?! huh?!?!. San Lang~~~. AHHH HE RELEASED 3000 LANTERNS FOR ME AHHHH I LOVE HIM as a friend ofc ofc.

Oh I LOVE getting Spiritual Energy from him <3 that wasn't a kiss nope it wasn't.... ERROR 101 San Lang asked my hand in marriage ERROR.... o h He was Joking :( ofc he was :((( I wish he wasn't tho :((((( SAN LANG HAS A BELOVED?!?!? Ofc he has He's such a handsome and kind man he probably gets all the bitches he wants But why do I feel smth weird in my heart?? (IT'S CALLED JEALOUSY YOU DUMB MOTHOFO )

Honestly God (Jun Wu LMAO) Knows how he survived the past 800 years like BRO WHY IS YOU SO STUPID when it comes to love?!?!? Like ISTG He's one of the smartest of all the jokes called "GODS". But he still doesn't get it till he saw the 10,000 statues Hua Cheng prepared like pls

ALSO Hua Cheng the ghost king who defeated 33 gods and how his smartass self esp rubbed the floor with them Civil Heavenly Officials But the one moment he needs it to realise the VERY OBVIOUS FACT that Xie Lian loves him The Genius Smartass is nowhere to be seen

But tbh I can't blame Hua Cheng much here cuz Xie Lian was very oblivious to his own feelings pls BUT STILL

Their Slow-burn was too much for me Like the chemistry was SO OBVIOUS but they're just Dumb kids when it comes to feelings *sighs* The Hualian Brainrot is rotting my brain away as we peak

[cho-aaacho]

—Sugar Coating

Masterlist

Summary : All of these times, Choso always treated you like a dependable friend—sharing seven colors with him and standing in the same clouds. Yet he seems oblivious to your deeper feelings. So you try to do something.

"So, do you prefer mountains or beaches?" 

"Choso-kun?"

"I'm planning to ask you on vacation, summer holidays, I guess? So... maybe, it would be nice if I invited you. My brothers will be happy too."

You place the fish food on the table and gaze at Choso for a moment. He was just there, sitting on the table while revealing a gentle smile. He was so calm, to be honest, you could see from those eyes. Something rare for him to show.

"Um... maybe mountains?"

It's rather uncommon for Choso to extend invitations, given his preference for spending quality time with his brothers and the bandmates from his music group. 

With you, he consistently drowned himself in college projects, building walls that seemed to keep any romantic connection between your eyes and his heart.

Honestly, it's a bit frustrating; he treats you like a friend, only a friend. Treating you like someone dependable, someone who cares about him and his brothers. Yet, why does he still have no idea about your kindness?

Day by day, night by night, as you share warm smiles and laughter with him, something within you blooms. It's odd but undeniably overwhelming.

He nods and exchanges smiles, musing. "Mountains? Alright... so, mountains, huh?"

He glides closer, a gentle smile on his lips wrapping you in his gentleness, enveloping your presence alongside Choso's.

Standing by your side, he lovingly touches the aquarium with his nail. His reflection is cast upon the glass, eyes tracked on the fish, following its beautiful golden scales.

"You are always in this place whenever you feel down, don't you? Are you alright? You come here about three times a week, you worry about me."

A silence falls between you and him, affirming Choso's astute observation. 

You came here practically every day to clear your mind. This was an abandoned room at the university that Yuuji transformed into a refreshing chamber with a large aquarium, claiming that it would aid his bandmates and you in revitalizing the struggle.

You love the atmosphere here, the blend of his warmth and coolness, and you love spending your time with Choso here. 

This room was your place whenever your sadness or loneliness flooded in, finding the comfort side in Choso's company that filled your longing and sorrow.

You chuckle. "Um..., Choso-kun is right. I've been thinking about something lately, but it's a bit difficult to put into words."

He nodded. "Oh... I'm always here to help you; that's why I've come to ask you to—"

You clear your throat and interrupt him by saying, "Choso-kun, we're both adults, right? So... I believe you understand that our relationship goes beyond just helping each other. It's not always about you assisting me or me assisting you. There's more to it."

He mused for a moment, blankly gazing at the aquarium. "Oh... am I late in realizing everything? I didn't intend to bring you down."

Continuing, he said, "I always thought maybe you treated me that way because you enjoy helping people. I guess I was mistaken about everything. Yuuji and Aoi joked that I was stupid, and my brothers thought I was just a coward. At first, I believed they were just teasing me."

"Until I witnessed you talking with Megumi, sharing laughter and smiles—you looked pretty there. I understand that all of your laughter and smiles weren't meant for me but for Megumi's. At that moment, I realized I was developing something for you."

Turning towards you, he delicately touched your chin with his fingertips, leaving a gentle touch on your skin. "...it's jealousy."

You are struggling to find words as he leans closer to you, planting a nice yet sweet kiss on your lips. It was only for a split second before his kiss awakened your lips.

He's so warm... 

smooth... 

...wet and cute.

You let him take the lead for a few more seconds, before finally wrapping his arms around you and pressing your body against him, staking a claim.

He giggles between the kisses as he asks, "Thank you, so... is it a yes? Will you go out with me? Do you accept my love?"

Teasingly, you responded, "You didn't even confess properly, Choso-kun. But I think... it's a yes."

[sastielsfandom]

"...and it just went right over her head," Isaac examined, cruising his hand over his head to emphasize his point.

CJ had been nodding along to his brother's story, "People these days, huh?" He asked, pretending to aim a hair tie at Isaac, one he snagged from Isaac's hair. Not that he knew.

"Seriously," Isaac groaned, his hand slid down his face, and shook his head, "they're so oblivious."

He looked over to see CJ nodding and the hair tie aimed at him. His twin gave an awkward smile and aimed it towards his wall instead.

"I know what you mean," CJ said, and stopped trying to use the hair tie as a weapon, looping it around his hair, and asked, "What happened to people being more observant?"

Isaac recognized that look and tone, and his face showed it, a raised eyebrow at CJ, but didn't mention anything in particular, "I don't know man."

"Anyways," CJ said, with a sigh, standing up stretching, "Thanks for the twenty." Holding it up away from his twin.

Isaac shrugged and laid down closing his eyes, "Jokes on you," he pointed at him, opening one eye, "I stole it from your dresser."

"And I stole it from your room," CJ countered knowing exactly when this bill had made its way out of his room back into here.

However, Isaac is pretty sure he stole it from CJ before that as well, but it doesn't really matter, "You're not even going to spend in on yourself. If you even spend it," Isaac told him.

"Wow," CJ scoffed, crossing his arms, "I might've." The look Isaac gave was clear that he didn't believe that for a second and rolled his eyes. He definitely wasn't going to spend it, there's a reason Isaac has been able to steal it from him multiple times.

"Uh-huh," he said knowingly, "when it starts snowing in summer I'll know you spent it." CJ didn't have a come back for that and just recrossed his arms.

Isaac looked back over and saw his brother, he shook his head, "You know the world won't end if you decide to do something nice for yourself every once in a while."

"You don't know that," CJ joked, "What about the butterfly effect, huh? I mean, it stormed when you decided to be nice to me. Rain, hail, nearly took our roof off."

Isaac waved him off, "It was hardly that bad and I'm always nice."

Both of them were wrong about the storm, it had been much much worse. Their street had flooded, and repairs did have to be made to the roof.

Something both would continue to overlook, "To who?" CJ asked.

"People." Isaac answered, not bothering to elaborate.

CJ blinked looking at Isaac, he had been pushed off the bed like twenty minutes ago by him, "I guess I'm not people then."

"Course not," Isaac said sitting up, and nodded to CJ, "Nah we're those indigenous creatures, remember?" He joked, "That and every other variation people's ignorance comes up with."

The two shook their heads, indigenous creatures, that was something for sure, they thought to themselves. Got to love ignorance.

CJ nudged his brother, "I blame you for that."

"What?" Isaac asked bewildered, "How?"

"Cause you're an ugly creature." CJ said with a laugh. Isaac mocked him and their little sister Kayla looked at them with raised eyebrows, confusion clearly written on her face

"You two share the same face," She said, blinking at the two, wondering if she's missing something.

"That may be so, but I wear it better." CJ said, flipping his hair back dramatically. Nearly missing his braid but there was no need to point that out.

Isaac rolled his eyes, and nodded to Kayla, "The original is always better."

CJ tsked, "You tell yourself that, but you know, I kicked you out and honestly, my bad, now you gotta live with a good personality to get anyone."

Isaac felt a hand pat on his shoulder, "And I'm sorry, because I also stole the good personality."

"Oh, yeah, I'm so devestated, how could you," Isaac said in a flat tone, "Because if there's anything I want, it's definitely a relationship." He said, shoving CJ's hand off of him, "Yep. Uh-huh, I do the romance thing, for sure."

"You still make friends don't you?" CJ asked, he hadn't actually meant romantic relationships, his brother is way too aro for that.

Isaac shook his head, "Nah, I just steal yours. We look similar enough."

Kayla frowned at that, she knows those two share a face but that's all they share. They look wildly different for identical twins.

"Wait, but people mistake me as you, I thought I was stealing your friends," CJ joked. Although, they are somehow still mistaken all the time.

"Who stole from each other first?" Isaac asked, but neither answered. They just shrugged.

Isaac frowned and looked at CJ with a raised eyebrow, "Hey, why don't you get any dates? I mean I'm aroace, what's your excuse?"

"Once again, people mistake me as you," CJ answered with a smile, "And I confuse too many people."

"I mean yeah, that makes sense." Isaac said with a nod, "You're really weird."

"I was talking about my gender," CJ said rolling his eyes but the smile didn't disappear. Even if it had lessened a little.

"That's not what makes you weird," Isaac said, looking his brother up and down, "in fact, I think that's the one normal thing about you, the rest, I don't know man." Isaac teased and CJ flipped him off.

Kayla at this point had continued to rummage around the room and saw in the mirror the two flipping each other off, "Are you two done yet?"

The two looked at Kayla in sync, she shivered it's always creepy when they do that, "You know what," Isaac said, turning back to CJ "I was being mean, come here."

While CJ didn't trust him for a second, especially when she saw mischief on his brother's face, he never gets to hug Issac. So, he hesitantly accepted the hug, it might be his only chance this year.

Isaac had gotten off the bed and wrapped his arms around CJ, patting his back, before ending the hug and walking out of his own room. Something CJ and Kayla were pretty sure he wasn't aware of yet.

CJ pulled his braid to the front and nodded, "That fucker stole the hair tie back." He couldn't be too upset since he knew it was a ruse but damn it, he just got it back.

Their mom stopped walking, hearing CJ's comment, "Didn't I just buy you both your own packs?" She asked, she swears she just did.

"Yes, which we appreciate a lot," CJ said, "but it's the principle, that one just keeps getting stolen." He doesn't even know who it started from, he just knows he's going to get it back later.

"Oy," his mother sighed, "I blame your Dad for all of you being so weird." She said walking off, but she didn't miss the echo of "Hey's" it triggered in the house, cracking her up.

She's told them before, "it's okay though, you all are my favorite weirdos," which for some reason they still didn't appreciate. But it's true, they are her favorite weirdos.

Best time of the year to share my favorite, and maybe only, twins I've ever come up with, CJ and Isaac.

It's best to get to know them through writing, without further ado, here they are:

As soon as CJ heard the footsteps, which weren't meant to be heard someone's just bad at being sneaky, she should've known.

The door swung open, revealing none other than Isaac who stared at his twin, waiting. CJ thought he looked like a gremlin in his stance. Or a crab.

Regretfully, already, CJ asked the question Isaac was waiting for, "What?"

Isaac continued to stare at his sister with wide eyes, letting the air become awkward by not saying anything. Before CJ just rolled over and ignored him, he pointed at her, "You look funny."

Without missing a beat, CJ responded with, "And you wish you were funny," holding up her middle finger afterwards. Isaac quickly mirrored the action back.

He backed out of the room for a moment, keeping his finger up and in the room, "Momma!" Isaac called, "CJ is flipping me off!"

The sound of a rolling pin stopped and in its place you could hear a loud sigh, "You two are practically adults!" She shouted, the rolling pin could be heard again, "I don't care!"

"Wow," CJ said, with a shake of her head, "Momma doesn't care about you," completed with a shrug and tssk noise, "Suck to be you."

Isaac mocked her with a hand and overexaggerating her words, grabbing the door handle on his way out, but before it closed completely, he let go of it. It was enough just to piss CJ off.

She immediately noticed, grabbed a pillow she wasn't currently using and tossed it towards the door but missed, she laid down annoyed at her aim. "He is such a bitch," she mumbled into her pillow.

Looking at the door again, she reached for another pillow, didn't even bother to look as she lazily threw it across the room. Hearing the door close, she glanced over, of course that one would make it. Why? Because the universe thinks it's a comedian or something.

She sank her head further into her pillow. She'll try again later with life. When there's food. Until then... Sleeeeep.

[equizona]

Hello there ✨✨✨

I hope you are having a great day, an amazing saturday and an excellent weekend.💖💖💖

May I request some hc's for William and Michael Afton flirting with their crush who doesn't know if they are actually flirting with her or if they're just being polite/joking???

Like someone could flirt with her and she'd be like "oh thanks" but is internally freaking out 'cause she doesn't know what's going on.

Don't feel pressured to do this, gotta take care pal!

Have a great day and drink lots of water!!!

— "CRUSHING ON SOMEONE WHO CAN'T TELL IF THEIR FLIRTING IS PLATONIC OR NOT."

Starring: William Afton ⸝⸝ Micheal Afton

Note: I have like fifty other requests but MICHEAL MY BELOVED, my favoritism towards him shows.

Extra: I'm kinda setting William's part before he became a parent or a murderer, haha. Kinda like a school AU, I think?

WILLIAM AFTON

"Oh, thanks."

Excuse me? He stops dead in his tracks, confused. What kind of response is that? He himself doesn't know how he should react to this, so now you're both just standing there, equally confused.

He's been your friend for a while now, but he isn't quite sure what he should make of that response. He'll try a different approach first, like getting you flowers or maybe chocolate, or another treat that he thinks you'll like.

Eventually, he'll muster up the courage to ask you outright whether or not you're just that oblivious, or if you've been trying to reject him kindly. When you tell him you weren't sure if he was joking, or actually flirting with you, he'll just mutter an 'oh' in understanding.

He'll make it clear to you that he does in fact like you, and has been trying to woo you into liking him back. Whether or not you accept his confession is up to you, but if you do you best believe he's there to glare at anybody who flirts with you while you stand there confused on whether or not they're joking with you or hitting on you. <3

MICHEAL AFTON

Honestly.. The amount of time it took him to muster the will and courage to flirt with you at all?? And now you're response is just 'thanks'?

His brain goes into overdrive. Is he bad at this, and you just didn't understand that he was trying to flirt with you? Or perhaps you know, and you said that because you don't feel the same so you're doing your best to let him down nicely??

He's confused, and a bit disappointed and not quite sure if he should keep doing it. But at the same time, you're his best friend and he sort of notices that your uncomfortable.

He stops flirting with you after that, insecure that you don't like him back. Of course, he doesn't blame you since he doesn't really have anything to offer you, other than a father-in-law who's a psychopathic murderer.

Eventually, somebody else will flirt with you and you'll give them the same confused respone that you gave him. He takes it as on opportunity to ask you about it, and when you tell him you don't know whether or not people are joking when they flirt with you, he'll feel that spark of hope reignite in his chest.

Doesn't take him long to confess to you, making sure to assure you that he is not joking, and he wants to be your boyfriend, if you'll have him.

[m0e-ru]

please by all means make a post about adachi and the gsa i would literally die of happiness ( but no pressure i love ur tag essays )

honestly u asking me this already makes ME happy fjdnddjwhcuwhdns mwa

I was honestly wondering where the heck I’d even begin since I don’t know how to condense all this information in one go but I’ve decided to 🥁🥁🥁 overanalyze chair car adventure from scratch AHDNEHCHAJSNWJD (I can’t find any of my previous essays so let’s !!!! do it all over again!!!!!!! /starts running into oncoming traffic/)

Adachi, as I personally perceive, looks like a very unmotivated person. Enticed by cheap things and looking for the easy way out, whether it’s efficient or not. He has no personal belongings he holds sentimental value in as seen in his plain and barren apartment, and the objects he couldn't even recall having when presented to him when his home was searched.

Despite being incredibly lazy in most aspects, he certainly is bored. Which leads him to start shit even if it’d make things inconvenient for him. Whether it’d be killing people to start a case for his own entertainment, or seeing how much he can poke Dojima until he gets b-grade sushi for dinner—or his own ass whooped.

He’s a clever and smart guy, but more often than not, he can look…genuinely stupid despite his clear intentions.

The attendant acts very similarly to Adachi’s own facade. But in the context we’re meant to believe, the attendant is their own person; a more genuine "fool" to Adachi’s "jester." If Adachi’s putting on an act to get by, then the attendant is, simply, being themself.

What’s peculiar is that Adachi never bothered to put up his own facade in front of the attendant. One dent in his car and he decided he wouldn’t give the effort. And as he expected, everything would go downhill from there.

And why would he? He wouldn’t even come back here. His car was already breaking down, and he’s experienced firsthand that it’s hard to get around the winding and narrow streets of old, cracking pavement of the maze Inaba makes itself to be. And as if a guy working in the economically suffering shopping district would get payed enough to even bother snitching on a police detective (who, equally embarrassing, was transferred to a backwater city for his own blunder).

A fool meets an actual fool. What would come out of it?

Interestingly enough, an entertaining and unforgettable experience that Adachi would warm up to and remember fondly.

(continuing the analysis down here and more of my au!!!! IT'S SO LONG)

Like mentioned, the attendant is more genuine of their clown personality. They’re polite, they have a sense of humor, overly curious, and do their best to follow the ethics of work. But they’re socially inept, which would probably make their actions, reactions and humor seem insensitive or rude and even unnecessarily nosy. But that’s simply because they aren’t aware of social etiquette or that they may perceive it differently. While their obliviousness isn't meant as an insult because they really don't Know.

Would Adachi have taken this as inspiration and possibly something to strive for in his own facade he’ll continue acting out for all his time here? Yes. ….to some extent.

The attendant is very good at being “anti-Adachi.” All of this man’s supposedly sly gimmicks wouldn’t work at all because of how incredibly stupid this guy even is. The attendant being the embodiment of “bit confused, but got the spirit,” makes Adachi wonder what this guy knows and doesn’t know. Down the line, it could be realized that Adachi’s been treating this guy like a kid who’s experienced life from watching through a window.

He can’t make fun of them, they don’t know what most insults even are—or they might turn it around and take it as a compliment, at worst. He can’t make himself look good, since they might as well take that context and connect it to a whole new thought entirely and make fun of him instead. He can’t make a joke that’s funny because all they’ll laugh at is how funny this poor man is for desperately trying to make a joke in the first place.

It’s not that Adachi can’t be himself just to interact with guy, but that he has to stop doing things under the intention of trying to wrap this guy around his finger. In fact, all he shouldn’t have any intentions, and just, be himself. There’s no need to strategise and start psychological warfare when it’ll just end up with pies to his face for trying so hard. This is a gas station attendant for pete’s sake.

Granted, he was pissed off. I suppose he was just trying to let out steam, which….just made shit worse if he directed to someone specifically.

Actually, he should just stop being easily offended and see this guy as a kid. Which, as said, is something he’ll realize down the line.

That being said, what would this man in his twenties (he assumes from what the guy said) had been doing for majority of their life to not understand the workings of this cruel world?

—That, or they truly know what’s going on with the world, just like himself.

…

Bah. They’re just an dumb idiot.

Going back to his first interaction with the attendant, he acts quite decently—kindly, even—when he’s not too fed up with everything. He goes on a rant of his life before Inaba and apologizes for his pessimism immediately after he’s realized it. He’s happy when he’s made someone laugh—well, before being told it was not because of his joke, but of how he himself was funny being related to another context, that is. He responds to all of the attendant’s blunders rashly, but doesn’t do anything to punish them for it and just lets them be (which could obviously be interpreted as Adachi not having any energy for everything, but I’m keeping note of this).

The most endearing part of all this is that, despite being harassed for the past five minutes straight (all due to a man’s genuine blunders which Adachi understands yet still whines about in accordance to his personality), Adachi sees the attendant crack and start laughing. Maybe the guy laughed because it was obligatory, or maybe they really did find Adachi funnier than his own “jokes.” But in any case, it broke through Adachi’s clouds of anger and annoyance and made him laugh too. (I KNOW THIS IS ON THE ACTOR’S PART OF FINALLY BREAKING CHARACTER IN A LITERAL COMEDY SKIT BUT I DO NOT. CARE). And Adachi could’ve just left them on the ground, but no! He picked them up driven by happy adrenaline and tried his best to get back on his “annoyed man who doesn’t want to be in the hicks” front.

Actually��the most endearing thing is here is that Adachi calls them “bakabaka.” Varying his “kimi” and the more derogatory “omae.” But if he ever had a fixed name for this unnamed moron, it’d certainly be “bakabaka.” I just find it amusing he’s consistent with this. A name in his brain he associates with one person, with derogatory intent or not.

And then /TV recording fast forward sound effect/ months later does Adachi try to bring this up.

In the rice fields in the middle of summer in the middle of an investigation does Adachi decide to tell Dojima of the story of his first day in Inaba. Adachi whining about the barrenness of the boonies and getting called a rookie with the usual bold annoyance Dojima holds does Adachi remember of his memory before the flowers bloomed (he said this. it was. kinda poetic when he was literally just trying to the recall the time it happened).

Maybe with the added factor that this would drive Dojima’s attention away from being annoyed at Adachi. But what’s interesting is how Adachi was just so incredibly persistent about talking about this story in the first place.

Calling the attendant “this interesting guy,” and having a stupid smile on his face starting out each attempt of his narratives with“so I was in my car…” all while bringing his hands up to imitate him holding the steering wheel (oh my GOD I’ll never get over these two scenes). Dojima, too many times to count, gets interrupted by calls to the point Adachi whines as Dojima picks up his phone like a little brat and even going “hey hey :3 y’know u can. u can turn off ur phone, right <:3 y’know that :3 right.”

All this to talk about the time his ass got grabbed and how he had to deal with five full minutes on earth with the most annoying man alive.

Steering this into the context of my au, it’s funny to think that in this relationship, Adachi’s…actually being his genuine self for once, but with a person putting up an act. Someone he doesn’t have to be fakey smiley around since they’re the one smiling for the crowd. In exchange for them wearing a mask, Adachi can finally take off his own mask and breathe for once.

A nobody in the unusually quiet part of town he can vent to without consequence. He can give the idiot a good smack on the back and he won’t get harassed by their dad or uncle or whatever who’s also his own boss.

Adachi has no inclination to put up an act in front of them, nor would that prove any benefit at this point. At some point Adachi’s become fond of their company and is glad he has someone he doesn’t have to act around. When he smiles, they’re no longer strained or fake. And he actually feels something from it besides thinking of it as an obligation to get by in life.

He can be as empty, hollow, pessimistic, and as sly as he wants. His emptiness would be filled naturally when he finds himself comfortable for once in his life. He might as well call himself guilty for leeching off of someone’s sunshine but he can’t help it when that someone’s a literal ball of light constantly deflecting all of his usual pessimism.

Some days, Adachi’s terrified of all their optimism. Similar to Souji being a guy who can’t stop helping people, would this moron he’s associated with also burn themself out one day? Or were they someone like him, just, even better at acting? And possibly, more empty than him?— But many of these times does his terror immediately subside when they do something stupid.

They do fun things together. They meet at the gas station (duh). They share drinks one of them bought from the convenience store (they take turns). They watch one rant about an annoyingly simple yet unsolvable case while the other gives him the last piece to the puzzle from a rumor they heard from the Housewife Network. In return the one has to watch the other service a broken gas fueled generator and give them the answer to their problem from whatever he remembered his boss mentioned when he gushed about taking care of his bike. Sitting behind the convenience store counter revising reports and counting the bills during the graveyard shift.

It doesn’t always have to be at the gas station. Adachi could go to Samegawa and see them float like a dead body in the river. He could get awkwardly strapped to the backseat of a bike and hanging on to dear life while he’s being cycled away after saying he overslept for work. He could strap himself to the passenger seat of his car while it’s a driven by a maniac drifting through the empty city streets in the middle of the night just to watch fireworks. He could be in Junes and having to be more alert than usual that he doesn’t lose a cryptid in a the supermarket and see twice more cabbages snuck into his basket when he blinks. He could go to Okina and wonder how a con artist got conned by an dumb idiot who doesn’t even want money.

He has to be careful of what he says around an impressionable….adult. Too many times has he stopped them from trying to say anything beyond “but mister detective said—” in front of Namatame, Souji, the old woman, or even Nanako.

They end up talking, walking, shopping, fixing shit, cooking, and even drinking together. Talking about everything under the…rain. Walking and stepping into puddles reflecting moonlight when it showered in the morning. Getting each other things because it reminded them of the other. Teaching each other how to fix and mend things back to what it once was. Or how to make instant ramen more interesting with leftovers, to stir fry cabbage in sesame oil, to heat nimono for longer so the renkon isn’t stiff. Getting one better branded canned beer while the other gets sparkling tomato juice with nine percent alcohol and simply being able to pour each other sake.

Smoking in one’s home because he lit their cigarette himself. Dragging people into his home by writing their parcel address as his apartment and getting the deliveryman to drink with them. Or guiding a boy through a better lit path in the middle of the night to his apartment to deliver him bento made of leftovers. Or simply helping a lady up the steps of the stairs while carrying her pot of home cooked stew.

Adachi being friends with the sunniest person in town who gets even sunnier when the rain pours. The man too good looking for their job but manages to make the dumbest faces. Who constantly smells like petrichor and gas and motor oil. Who has callouses on their hands carrying crates and boxes and tires alike, yet delicate enough to mend a tear with the thinnest needle in the house. Someone so incredibly stupid but would tell you of the dangers of fire in a way they look like they’d risk their life if you didn’t remember.

As for the perspective of the entity behind the attendant themself. Well, I’m sure it’s just as complicated for them.

update: happy 2023 pride. here’s mim’s side of things https://www.tumblr.com/m0e-ru/715542668206292992/i-meant-to-send-this-yesterday-buy-forgot-but-its

[goldenlie]

I already made that point in the ask on a different blog but I dislike how they put Dream on pedestal and relate anything that happens with George to him. Jokes and more serious takes calling him covid warrior get me annoyed because it's the same person that allows his mom do groceries for him and didn't see any issues with Sapnap going to visit Karl, create irl content with him and other ccs and even make video with mr beast despite Sapnap apparently interacting with his mom and sister. It also surprises me how the fans push so much towards meet up when it's clear they are the ones that care the most about it. Don't get me wrong I do believe dream team wants to meet up however question directed at Dream if he would visit George in UK was meet with awkward silence and George had to answer for him that it means no. Clearly it's important but there is no feeling of urgency or even a maybe in there. Same with George, I feel like after experiencing irl content and hanging out more with ccs in UK he isn't in any real rush to get to the US when he knows neither Sapnap or Dream will be down to create that type of content which is fine but George seems to enjoy making it so losing advantage of meeting up with Wilbur, Tommy etc to create content might be something that he started to care more about. Wilbur also planned to move to US from what I remember so it's just a theory, not really serious but maybe George wants to move when Wilbur does so they both have someone to create irl content with? Sorry for rambling but this situation rubs me the wrong way in so many ways, hope you'll have a nice day!

(The following is a depiction of my own personal views containing fandom critical aspects which mostly dissolves into a general discussion. This isn't intended to speak on behalf of any DT members (S+G+D) in any sense or to insinuate how they feel regarding their following.)

In an effort to shorten the length of this, my thoughts on the "covid warrior" situation are in more detail here. In summary, It's not the best idea to hold a cc so high for the expected, eventually something will slip and the fall will be much greater than it deserves to be. As you mentioned, allowing quarantines to occur in his own home where other family members frequent doesn't fit the narrative created by some. No ones going to be perfect in a pandemic, yet we shouldn't act oblivious in favor of holding up this pristine image specifically crafted and implemented by fans.

Regarding the Dream association with George. I'll preface this with acknowledgement that getting the green light from the creators themselves to view their relationship romantically, will create a ripple effect of posts, clips, and overall more attention funneled to the cc's. However, I don't think the aim was to ever be overshadowed by the idea of themselves in a romantic sense. To be truly frank George is the one facing the brunt of this association. People think Dream and they imagine a high tier mc player, people think George and know him from being flirted with in tiktok clips. This link leaks into moments unintended to be related to one another, bringing up his name whenever George even interacts with other ccs? Expecting Dream to give George a slap on the wrist for attending a party? Unwarranted behavior. Dream is not responsible for George (or Sapnap) and vice versa. They are separate people responsible for their own actions.

-

The initial excitement at meeting each other was very clear in December/January due to both Karl+Quackity and Sapnap+Dream meeting up. Understandably over time the thrill at the thought began wearing off due to the shaky future presented by the pandemic (Yet I've no doubt they'll be glad to be together under one roof in the future). I think this was especially obvious during the puffy podcast in particular when Minx directed the question to Dream whether he would visit George now or wait another one and a half years before meeting him. Dream toyed with the question for a bit, confirming the timeframe before being pressured for an answer to which he responded he'd guess he'd go. It didn't exactly sound ecstatic and as you said it's not the first time the question has been dodged or answered with such emotion or lack thereof.

That being said, It's not surprising they don't want to get their hopes up considering the pandemic is too reliant on people to predict. However, I saw a lot of talk at the time concerning how sweet it was Dream said he'd go to London. It's down to personal perception but in all honesty the situation did not read that sweet to me. Although I understand the desire for a heartfelt sentiment declaring "Yes! Of course I'd go across the Atlantic for George!", this was not it. There is a tendency to romanticize and view subjects with a rose tint in this fandom but this instance was one of the more painfully obvious times.

A similar reaction occurred on Georges solo PkMn stream. Dream joined heavily insinuating him to end stream despite George explaining his plans to continue for a further hour. At a weak attempt at pleasing the fans Dream promised a dnf stream and within seconds the chat spammed "take the deal!". It felt very self exposing of chat, these joint streams are not uncommon but it had been five months since the previous solo stream. On top of that, some started claiming how whipped George was to leave steam when in reality there wasn't much of a choice presented. When watching a trailer to a game they might potentially play, commentating it with "what's happening" Dream responded "you're ending stream". Not everything is a "cute" moment (if anything looking back this was comical) and that's expected, but lets not act tone deaf when we bare witness to such.

Returning to your initial point regarding the meetup, Sapnap seems to be the one who carries the brightest torch for it publicly. During a GTA stream he excitably referenced the long awaited time in which he would collect George from the airport. George once expressed offhandedly how he thought S+D might not have room for him to which he joined the call expressing how they could do bunk beds together and reassured him they'd have space (although surely that was obvious from the beginning). Sapnap once posed the question to George where he'd take him if he showed up in London, asking if they'd go to Tesco. Even during the PkMn card unboxing stream (Karls), he told the camera George could have any of the cards he pulls and they'll be waiting for him in Florida. These were all such genuinely kind sentiments where you could tell he's been anticipating the meeting for a while yet, they've been talked about to a much lesser degree.

-

Regarding the content situation, there hasn't been a stream which consciously consisted of Sapnap and Dream together since the move in. Baring in mind Sapnap often disregards face-cam streams the odd joint stream could've occurred if they so wished. It's not apparent to a random viewer they live together, not to say that's a bad thing or that they needed to in any sense, but I feel like it's a good teller of how content will be once George moves in. Obviously Georgenap could do face cam streams together and I have no doubt that's what we'll get, which I can't complain about. Honestly it wouldn't be surprising if George and Wilbur do the plane journey over together. However, Wilbur has expressed his desire to travel America and as much as I'd enjoy Georgebur taking landmark after landmark, it seems more likely for George to travel on occasion to the states where Wilbur finds himself. Sadly indicating the real life vlogs with Gnf will regrettably be left in the UK.

[poisonousroxstar]

Imagine:

Wally with a cheerful trainer s/o, who's dying from an illness

Trigger warning: dying reader, dead reader. Illness. Angst. Toxicly positive reader? Possible grammar mistakes.

Wally first met you on the day he was going to get his very first pokemon! To his surprise, you were here for the same thing! Norman was nice enough to lend you both a spare Pokémon and balls for you two!

He remembers how nerve-wracking but thrilling it was catching his ralts. When he did, you praised him! And gosh, he couldn't help but blush at your comment.

He invited you over to his parents house, and you both became quickly familiar with one another; becoming friends (and also rivals) very quickly!

Since both of your pokemon were relatively weak, the two of you decided to train together.

Eventually, you were confident that your Pokémon was ready to take on the first gym! Wally wasn't nearly as confident though, thus you two parted ways.

You told Wally you'd see him around! Giving him a gleeful smile that made his heart skip a beat. It appeared he had a small crush..

You guys wouldn't meet again until the second gym. Wally had moved to come stay with his uncle, and by then he had gotten a little stronger! When he saw you, Wally couldn't help but get a little giddy and blush ever so slightly.

After your guys' battle, his uncle invited you over to his home. He noticed how his nephew was behaving, and thought it might be good to bring over his crush!

You cheerfully accepted! And even wanted to race Wally there! Although, that didn't work out as his condition rendered running a bit.... Problematic. Soo, instead of that, you trailed alongside him and chatted about your adventures and experiences so far.

You sort of took a break on your journey to spend time with the lime haired boy. And he couldn't have been more thrilled!

At first, you two trained together. Being on break didn't mean you couldn't get some experience in!

Eventually, you two started doing everything together. Hanging out and enjoying the beautiful area, especially the flowers. Fooling around, even if Wally sometimes protested against your ideas. And lazing together during uneventful days.

It was on one of those days you asked about his condition, and what it was that forced him to move to his uncles.

Wally paused for a moment, before replying with an answer. He thought that by becoming a trainer, he could become stronger, both as a person and with his illness.

His answer made you admire him, and you felt like you owed him something in return. So, with your cheerful tone that made beautiflies flutter in his tummy, you said:

"well... I'm technically dying!"

Wally gave you a shocked expression, and almost thought you were joking because of your tone.

But it wasn't a joke, unfortunately. You told him you had an illness that was slowly killing. You became a trainer as a way to see the entire region before your death, and take on the gyms in an attempt to become the champion of hoenn!

Wally stayed with a shocked expression "s/o... I'm so sorry..". You hushed him, saying that you weren't afraid of it, or sad. Maybe you were a long time ago but now? You were fine!

To lighten the mood, you reassured him that everything was ok. Wally was awed at how much you accepted your fate. He understood, since he had his own issues as well, but to know you were dying and still be happy? He doesn't think even he could be as jolly.

You brightened up the somber atmosphere with optimism, stating that you were here, and ready to make the most out of everything!

Wally couldn't help his racing heart when you smiled. Your cheerfulness and determination made him feel so warm and fuzzy inside. It was more then obvious he had a massive crush on you, and in a way, you returned those feelings as well.

Once that was clear cut, you decided to ask him out! Gosh, he was a blushing mess when you did, stuttering over his words and behaving more meek then normal. But... He accepted, a small smile on his lips.

The date was simple, but very cute. You two were strolling together around both Verdanturf town and Mauville city. The old couple of the daycare even let you both help tend with some of the pokemon. Although Wally was a bit hesitant, the pokemon cooed to his gentleness and calm nature. It was truly a precious moment!

It didn't take much time for you two to become a thing! Although yous never said it directly, it was clear as day you two were helplessly in love with each other.

It was also around this time you and Wally decided to resume your pokemon journey. Wally suggested you two stick together for the remainder of it, and you found the idea cute, so you two did!

But the plan didn't last too long.. halfway through your two's adventure, you began to cough. You often didn't think much of it, since it was something that happened a lot for you. Given your conditions and... everything.

But once you looked down at your hand, you noticed it was stained with.... Blood? You had coughed out blood, some of it coming out in small clumps.

This hadn't happened before, and you were actually... Very scared. Perhaps because it reminded you of your morality.. or because of Wally.

You couldn't let him see you like this. What would happen? How would he react? The last thing you wanted was to suspend his own adventure just because of you.

Wally noticed how quiet you got after your coughing fit, and asked if something was wrong. You hid away your bloody hand and hastily wiped any remaining traces of blood on your mouth, turning to him with your smile that always tug on his heartstrings "Yep! I'm fine! Just..."

You had to find an excuse. A way so Wally wouldn't suspect something. So, in a slightly sudden voice, you told Wally it was time to part ways.

At first, he interpreted it as you breaking up with him, which left him confused and very hurt; but when you explained it was just because you wanted to get the next gym badge, he sighed in relief you weren't ending the relationship. Although he was still puzzled by why you wanted to go on your own and a part of him didn't want you to leave. Something didn't feel right.

But you reassured him you'd see him again! And told him you two could still keep in contact through the phone! Although he still felt like something was... off... Wally just chopped it up to him being paranoid, and maybe even a little bit possessive? He wasn't sure, relationships were such a new concept to him.

With that and a peck on the cheek, you took off! And Wally waved you goodbye.

Wally then decided, he needed to get stronger! He hoped that the next time you two saw each other, you'd be impressed with how much he improved as a trainer and as a person, who wasn't bound to his illness.

Illness.. that's right, you were also sick, but much worse. Honestly, you were so good at hiding and quickly recovering from the symptoms, Wally almost forgot you were dying..

His chest ached at the thought of you dying. One of his fears was you dying before he could even talk with you again. His heart held so much love for you, and Wally wished that somehow he could take away your pain...

But your numbered days served as motivation. He wanted to get stronger, for you. He wanted to show you how far he came, and how far you've come!

Wally believed in you as well. He found you admirable for your optimism. He thought you could do anything! And that, even if you were dying, you'd survive, and make it.

Wishful thinking, I suppose.

But as Wally got stronger, you only grew weaker. The doctors you had visited said your condition had suddenly worsen out of the blue.

They said, at best, they could give you a few extra weeks of life. Maybe a month or 3, but you'd be heavily restricted. At that point, you'd be stuck to a hospital bed; your journey finishing right then and there.

So, you went against what they said. You held onto hope that, at the very least, you'd be able to collect all the gym badges.

Your calls with Wally became a bit more frequent, which he didn't reject to. Actually, he was really, really happy to hear you! Sometimes he'd get scared that something awful happened to you, so hearing your voice helped calm him.

You avoided telling him the truth though, instead asking about him, his Pokemon, and how far he is. Wally answered every question you had, becoming especially bright regarding his trainer status. You could hear the light and excitement irradiating from his voice, which made you smile.

When he asked about yours, you put on a cheery voice as you often did. Telling him everything was grand! You'd gotten a lot stronger, and had managed to collect another gym badge!

He congratulated you, saying how awesome you were! He asked if, when you two met again, you'd be willing to battle him.

You paused for a moment, not sure how to reply. You didn't want him to see you, not in your slowly deteriorating state. But at the same time you missed him. You wanted to see him again, physically. So, with an unheard reluctance, you agreed to the brawl!

Wally was concerned. You had never sounded so meek before. Never sounded so resistant to see him. He wondered if he did something wrong? If he displeased you someway. He tried not to let it get to his head, but the thought did irk him.

..when Wally finally saw you, he noticed how different you looked. Wally wasn't oblivious, but he didn't know how to bring it up. So, for the time being, you guys caught up! You told Wally how far you've gotten so far, and showed off your collection of badges! You also showed him your Pokemon, how strong they had gotten.

But Wally kept quiet, or replied only in short sentences. You notice his concern expression intensify upon bringing your Pokemon out. Their faces showed hints of sadness.

Finally, Wally asked if you were ok. Your quick reply more or less confirmed you weren't, despite your response portraying the contrary.

He took your hand into his and told you softly that, it's ok if you don't want to tell him. He just wants to make sure you're fine. His skin was so soft you had just noticed, and his delicate hold brought you comfort.

So, with hesitance, you finally told him what was happening. You told him how your illness had advanced, how limited your time was, what they adviced and why you went against it.

Wally looked at you with shock and sadness, but he tried not to overreact. Instead, he held you.

You brushed off his concern, and challenged him to a battle! Wally was stunned by how quickly you tried shifting the topic, and he declined at first. But you reminded him of the ole' trainer rule:

If two trainers lock eyes with one another, it is mandatory they begin a battle!

You wanted to distract yourself and him. You didn't want your illness to be a burden. At the very least you wanted to enjoy the time you had with him instead of focusing solely on you.

When the battle concluded, as if on cue, you coughed out. Wally could tell you were in pain, even if you tried playing it off as if you weren't. He quickly came to you, asking what was wrong and if he needed to call the hospital!

You weakly say it's fine, but Wally rebuked in an attempt to bring you back to reality. It was obvious you weren't 'fine', and he tried to convince you to go see a doctor; at the very least they could offer you some sort of pain reliever!

What was only worry for your well-being evolved into an argument. Even if you put on a happy face and chipper persona, you were suppressing a lot of emotions, and Wally was the unfortunate 'pin to the balloon'.

You let everything pour out, such poisonous words being thrown at him. Wally was stunned into silence by you, only able to endure your verbal assault. Your toxicity would of likely continued if another coughing fit hadn't taken over.

But this time, you weren't able to hide the pain. Your coughs rapidly grew worse, and the ache became too much to the point where your legs buckled in.

Wally panicked when he saw you dropping, but was able to keep calm enough to call the ambulance. He tried to help you as much as he could, but he didn't know what to do. Even you didn't.

When help finally arrived you had completely knocked out, a sickening pool of dark crimson pouring from your mouth that had convinced Wally for a moment that you were gone.

You were rushed to the nearest hospital. Wally wanted to come along with you, but the doctors refused and didn't take the precious time to hear his pleas.

..for the next few days, all Wally could think about was you. His journey had reached another stop, and he tried to stay at the hospital for as long as he could.

The only people he seemed to interact with was his gardivour, his uncle, and his parents. Other then that he had turned completely mute.

He felt guilty, as if this was his fault. The last thing you'd remember if you didn't make it was the two of you getting into an argument. Maybe if he hadn't been so pushy, you wouldn't of had a fit and be here.

He knew it was dumb to think like that, but he couldn't help it.

Sometimes, he'd visit your Pokemon who had been transported to a daycare in the hospital. They seemed just as scared as Wally was, but he knew fearing wouldn't do anything; it wasn't what you wanted either.

So, he tried to be positive. He thought you'd be able to pull through. You were one of the strongest people he knew!

You couldn't die yet, not when you hadn't even completed the gym challenges!

His optimism brought hope to your Pokemon, and to him as well! But Wally was split if he truly believed in what he just preached.

And every day that passed. Every hour you remained in your bed, motionless minus your chest pumping up and down from a machine you were hooked up with.

That hope grew dimmer and dimmer.

Sometimes he'd talk to you, gently rubbing your hand. Your guardian(s) allowed him to be near you, which he couldn't be more thankful for.

He'd tell you about his day, how boring the hospital was. He wondered if you could hear him? He hoped you could.

Wally missed you. He missed you so, so much. He missed seeing you walking around, he missed hearing your voice; he just wanted you.

Wally tried to pull himself together. He didn't want to seem weak in front of you, not when you needed the utmost attention right now. But he couldn't control himself for long.

Wally's gentle whimpers grew into uncontrollable crying. He was pleading to you, pleading to anyone, begging anyone to just---not take you away.

"P-please, S/O... I can't lose you. I...I love you!"

He wanted his words to reach you somehow, so that maybe... Maybe you would wake up.

But no amount of love laced words could pull you from your eternal slumber.

Your heart monitor began dropping. The beating of the machine inducing an intense anxiety into Wally. He cried out for help, and the doctors and nurses flooded the room like water.

Wally was pushed outside the room and force to watch as the medical team desperately tried to revive you. He felt his heart drop to the pit of his stomach when every attempt resulted in nothing. No response, nothing.

The doctor came up to Wally, a sad expression on his face. The world went silent. He was muttering out words, lips moving, but Wally couldn't hear anything.

He didn't need to. He knew.

And he just breaks..

He's crying, perhaps even hyperventilating as the doctors attempted to calm him down. Wally knew you were gone. He thought he would be prepared for it, but the impact was too much for him to handle.

He cries, he cries a lot.

And then your funeral comes, but there aren't any tears. Not because he isn't sad, but because he can't squeeze anymore out. He just looks at your coffin in melancholy.

For awhile, Wally doesn't leave his house. When he returned to his parents, he is was nearly mute, and only stayed inside. All that progress had regressed, and he was back to his old self.

Wally wanted to care for your Pokemon himself, but he just wasn't in a good place. He couldn't even care for his own Pokemon, but they understood; your death affected them as well.

With some outside help from his family and his/your Pokemon, Wally slowly got better. Slow, but better.

It was painful for him, but he had to accept keeping you in memory while moving on.

He likes to think you'd want him to go forward, complete his journey. And he came up with a motivator; he couldn't be doing it for himself now, but for the both of you.

He'd do this. For you, and for himself.

He'll get stronger. He'll get braver. Because that's what you may of wanted from him.

Wally would never love someone as much as he did you. You mean the world to him. If only you two had more time together.

Wally will always miss you. The pain will lessen, perhaps even some of his feelings. But his love for you will mostly remain intact.

Wally would visit your grave frequently. But as time went on, the visits became less frequent. Still, he always brought your favourite gifts and most times your Pokemon came along with him.

He'll never forget you. Never.

This lovely artist is the person, I believe, made the drawing! I didn't ask for permission however, so if they ask me to remove the art, I shall!

[cherrytdatt]

what a shame we're fucked in the head (au)

Pairing: peter parker x reader

Word count: ~1.7k

Summary: peter and y/n always find it easier to be fwb than assuming their feeling for each other 

A/N: this was in my drafts for the longest time and i'm just getting rid of it. this is an au but they are still superheroes.

Warnings: drug use and mention of sex

"What up, loser?" you heard a familiar voice say behind you. You turned your head, recognizing his silhouette. "Abandoning the party?" Peter chuckled, sitting by your side on the edge of the building.

"Making my own party," you said with a weak smile, raising your hand that held a joint you lazily made a few minutes ago.

"Oh! And didn't call me?" he asked with an offended look.

"Sorry. I thought you were having fun inside," you said, passing the cigar to him.

"Sure. Cause seeing Banner and Rogers fighting over some mysterious hallucinogen that Banner's dad accidentally made on the lab is so much more fun than relaxing and talking to you," he took a pull of the cigar, without looking at you. You stared at his side profile, admiring every inch of his face. His eyes that were shining with the city lights, the small smirk that never left his face, the sharp angle his jaw made even when he was relaxed, and the curls that fell plainly on his forehead.

You and Peter had a lot in common, you were Stephen Stranger's daughter, and Peter was adopted by Tony Stark at the age of three. As everyone knows, those two were the most rich and arrogant superheroes to walk on this earth or any other planet. So you two understood how hard your life was growing up. Don't get me wrong, both were great parents, but they didn't think twice before pressuring you two to be the best amongst all the other superheroes' kids. Besides that, there were the absent parents, and all the ego fights that you two had to deal with daily.

"That thing's dangerous," you said, shaking your head. "Banner and Rhodes took that last week, and they blacked out for forty eight hours after almost jumping from the top of the Stark Tower!" Peter handed you the cigar.

"That would make my dad so happy," Peter said sarcastically, making you laugh, just thinking about the bad press that two superheroes' kids jumping from the most expensive building in New York would cause for Tony Stark. "These kids are crazy," he finished when your laugh faded out.

All the Avengers kids formed some type of clan that was known for excessive partying, drugs, and doing crazy shit around town that usually caused some sort of damage physical or financial. After all, be raised by babysitters while your parents fought against aliens and robots wasn't easy. You, Peter, Shuri, and Magni, Thor's son, were the only ones that tried to follow your parents' steps and become superheroes, but that didn't keep you from partying and doing crazy things sometimes. The difference was, You, Peter, and Shuri usually do it without drawing attention, and Magni did it on other planets.

"Cause you and I are not damaged by our dads 'jobs', right?" you looked at him.

"I rather not talk about it," Peter joked, and you laughed. "So, how is your life?" he asked, staring at the city view from Will Maximoff's penthouse, where the party was happening.

"Same old. Studying and being in the lab for hours, drinking, and smoking weed the rest of the time, sometimes studying and smoking at the same time. I don't even know anymore," you took a pull from the joint. Even though your dad's power was like some type of magic, he always made you study very hard and you two worked on your lab developing nanotechnology and other things to help the Avengers. Sometimes you worked with Mr. Bruce, Shuri, or even Tony although he wasn't your dad's favorite. "And you?"

"I'm spending my days at the lab, improving my suit," he shrugged. "And waiting for you to call me," he finished, looking at you, and you chocked a little.

"Waiting for me to call you?" you coughed. "You have my number. You can call me," you said, looking at him.

"I'm always the one that calls you," he said nonchalantly.

"And?" you asked, holding a smile.

"A man gets tired..." he scratched the back of his head, shrugging and looking away from you.

"You know I don't mind you calling me," you stated. "And you also know I'm not gonna get in the middle of your commitment issues," your voice was lower.

"I didn't have a commitment issue with you," Peter defended himself.

You two were more than friends, and that was clear to everyone that had eyes. Everything started on the night of your nineteenth birthday. Your parents were out of town, and you decided it was a good idea to close an entire club in New York to have the biggest party you could think of. After using almost every drug in the building, you still felt alone, and the only person you could think about was Peter. He was at the party, but you barely saw him. At 2 a.m. you called him, and you finally hooked up. But, unlike what everyone was thinking, your 'relationship' didn't go further than occasionally making out, sleeping together and then you two wouldn't talk for two or three weeks after that. You, obviously, liked him, but Peter never dated any girl for more than two weeks, so you came to the conclusion that, even with your feelings, this 'friends with benefits' relationship was the best you could do.

"Yeah, right!" you laughed. "And that bullshit you pulled out last year was your way of committing," you joked, remembering the day he showed up in your father's cabin, knowing you would be there alone, and left the next morning without saying a word.

"You know why I did that," he sighed.

"I honestly don't," you chuckled, looking at him, waiting for his excuse.

"You told me you wanted to be alone! I was there just to make sure you were okay and then did what you want," he explained, his hands moving around anxiously.

"Are you stupid or what?" you got up, not believing how someone so smart could be so oblivious.

"What?" he asked, confused with your reaction.

"I wanted to be alone with you, dumbass. That's why I texted you my exact location," you said, pointing at him.

"Oh!" he was honestly surprised, his eyes widened in realization.

"You are dumb..." you concluded, the corners of your lips going up, forming a smile.

"I'm not dumb! I'm just..." Peter got up.

"Hard to commit," you said, knowingly.

"Oh, shut up!" he held a laugh. "You are not that great either. I lost count of how many times you ghosted me or avoided me," he accused you, and your eyes avoided his because you knew you the times you ran away from him.

"Do you...uh..." you gulped, afraid of the damage that your next words could cause. Peter studied your expression, knowing you were struggling with your thoughts. You took one more pull from the joint, trying to gather all your courage. "Do you think we will work..." you glanced at him for a split second. "I mean... in the future... you think we could work... if we tried?" you stuttered, regret already filling your chest.

"I don't like parties, you know?" Peter said, and you looked at him. Half confused and half cursing yourself for asking anything. Was he changing the subject just to avoid the question? "I mean... I like them sometimes but not every weekend," he said, looking at the buildings around.

"It's not what it looks like since I only bump into you at parties," you said with a weak smile.

"That's because I go to all the parties you go," he confessed. "When you're out of town or just at your house, I spend my night working in the lab or fighting small crimes in town," he glanced at you. You looked at him, not fully understanding what he was saying. "What I meant is..." he stared at you, and you felt the air being pulled out of your lungs by his intense eyes. "I really like you... and I hope we can work things out when you're ready," he smiled.

"Hey, Parker!" William Maximoff called, and both of you looked at him. "It's your turn on the beer pong," he yelled.

"I'm coming," Peter laughed at him, and the boy walked back inside, laughing, with some girl you didn't know, pulling him by his hand. "I'm going in..." he told you in a low voice, and you looked at him again.

"Yeah... okay," you muttered, the things he said still being processed in your head.

He stared at you, and you felt in his eyes that he was pondering on doing something. Peter took a step towards you, his face a few inches from yours, and you looked at him, feeling his hot breath in your mouth. You parted your lips, already anticipating what was coming. Peter's hand came to your face, touching gently your cheek, his eyes staring deeply into yours. You moved your face up, finally ending the distance between you two. You moved your hands to his neck, tugging at his hair, feeling his soft lips against yours, and he held your waist with his free arm. The kiss started slow but soon became needy and eager, your tongues colliding and moving in synch, traveling through every inch of each other's mouth. You captured his bottom lip between your teeth, causing him to moan softly, his hand going down to squeeze your butt. 

"I really missed you," he whispered against your lips.

"Peter..." you started you a hesitant voice.

"I have to go," he said before you could say anything else. Peter took a step back, glancing between the party and you. His arms left your body, and you felt cold without his touch. He gave you a small smile, putting his hands in his pockets, walking away from you. You turned slowly to look at the buildings, not ready to go back to the party yet.

"Y/n," you heard Peter call, and you turned to look at him. "Call me when you decide to go home." he smiled and grabbed the doorknob. You nodded at him, and he ran his hand through his hair. "I'm gonna kick your ass, Will," he yelled when the noise from the party invaded your ears, and then everything was silent again.

You stared at the buildings, feeling the fear from loving Peter more than you loved anyone else in your life invade you.

[girlsgonemildblog]

I Am In This Episode and I Don't Like It - Emily in Paris, Season 1, Episode 6 Recap (Spoilers!!)

Poster from IMDB

Birds having sex. That is how this episode opens. Shots of birds fucking. We then cut away from this to Emily lying in bed, unable to sleep because Gabriel and Camille are having extremely loud sex. I have heard neighbors through walls and the people above me's bed banging on the floor, but never have I heard the people who live below me (like Gabriel and Camille do to Emily) having sex. They must be really loud. Also, based on this scene, Emily sleeps with full makeup (including lipstick) and her hair perfectly curled. I honestly think the production team wanted this show to be mocked.

The next morning, Emily is again eating at a café with Mindy, who is whining about how her dad wants to buy her a BMW and a mansion. Her life is honestly so hard. She then reveals to Emily that she was on a singing competition show in China, where she failed miserably and became a meme. Not to repeat myself, but I think the show's goal is to be mocked.

Emily gets to work, and we learn that, because they are meeting with an important couture designer that day, she was told specifically to wear all black. At least the show is self-aware with how terrible her outfit choices are. They arrive at Pierre Cadault's studio, and it is clear that his aesthetic is definitely not all black - more beiges and pastels, just like the rest of Paris. I think the writers were thinking of New York when they chose all black; someone should tell them fashion isn't the same everywhere. Cadault comes to meet them, sees Emily's tacky Eiffel Tower bag charm, and calls her "ringarde" or "basic,” and then storms out of the meeting. A bit dramatic, if I’m being honest, but also, the bag charm was pretty basic:

That night, Emily is minding her own business eating dinner alone when some (not even cute) man begins talking to her about whether a couple at another table is mother-and-son or dating. After a cut to show that time has passed, Emily finishes the story of her meeting with Cadault. The man, named Tomas, says that it is "ringarde" to call someone "ringarde" and then says he doesn't think she's basic - he clearly does not know her very well. He then starts a pretentious speech about known sexist pig, Pablo Picasso, and a bunch of other buzz-word names. Tomas is a know-it-all asshole and reminds me of every guy I have ever dated. Emily is impressed, nonetheless, and sleeps with him. Do better, Emily. Also, while I love Lily Collins, she is not great at acting in sex scenes; it was unbearably awkward. By the way, even Emily's bras have pictures of Paris on them:

The next morning, she runs into Camille, who tells her that she can hear Emily just as well as Emily can hear her and Gabriel. The fact that they all hear each other, but not any of the other neighbors, is pretty solid evidence for my no-one-else-lives-there theory.

At work, Emily brags to Julien about how Tomas quoted poetry to her, and Julien rightfully says that's boring. As an English major who has had to deal with many men interested in poetry, it's only hot in theory. In practice, it's boring and annoying, and they always expect you to be so impressed that they can quote the same Shakespeare sonnet that everyone had to memorize in High School Brit Lit. Emily then learns that Sylvie is holding a meeting without her and not speaking to her because she lost them the account with Cadault, one of Sylvie's favorite designers. Apparently, Emily is not the only person at this office with no sense of professionalism.

Emily meets Mindy at their bench in the park, and they are again talking about Mindy's singing career. I cannot express how little I care about this plotline. Mindy says she has too much PTSD from her failure on "Chinese Popstar" to audition for a local jazz club, but when Emily asks her to sing for her right there, Mindy is belting in the middle of the park with very little convincing. (Here is the moment where I take a break from my criticizing everything to say I absolutely love Ashley Park's voice. Please go listen to "What's Wrong With Me?" from the Mean Girls Musical soundtrack.)

That night, Emily and Tomas run into Gabriel and Camille outside their building, because of course they do. (It was at this moment that I realized the actor who plays Gabriel, Lucas Bravo, could very easily fill the Armie-Hammer-sized hole we currently have in society.) Being her always-friendly, always-oblivious self, Camille forces Emily and Tomas to go on a double date with her and Gabriel. Gabriel sees right through Tomas's bullshit, which is probably easy to do since Tomas is blatantly rude to Gabriel because Tomas is the type to only be polite to people he wants to fuck. Back at her apartment, remembering her conversation with Camille that morning, Emily tells Tomas that they need to be quieter when they have sex. They are (somehow) even louder than before.

Because the whole premise of this show seems to be that Emily lucks herself into things, while walking to work the next day, she notices in the corner of a sign for a ballet that Pierre Cadault designed the costumes and that opening night is that night. After Sylvie refuses to go with her (and rips up the original tickets), she invites Tomas to join her.

As she's leaving for the ballet (in an absolutely ridiculous outfit), she runs into Gabriel again. Are you guys as tired of reading that phrase as I am of writing it? We may have to turn it into a drinking game. Gabriel tells Emily the truth about what he thinks of Tomas, calling him "an asshole masquerading as an intellectual." I loved that line. He also tells her that she is "wasting her time with a guy who doesn't deserve her," and um, what exactly is so great about Emily?

When Emily arrives at the ballet and meets up with Tomas, he asks her if he is playing a joke on him by bringing him to see "Swan Lake", which, according to him, is "for tourists". "Swan Lake" is actually my favorite ballet, so fuck him. Emily then has a moment of clarity and finally realizes what her horniness had kept her from seeing the last three days; Tomas is a pretentious douche. (Emily actually said "snob" but I feel "pretentious douche" is more precise). Tomas responds by calling Emily "simpleminded". When he realizes she's offended by this, for some reason, he tries to better the situation by calling her "simple but beautiful". I believe the sound I made at this point would be called a "guffaw". When she still isn't happy, he tells her to go to the ballet, and he'll meet her afterward and "treat her to some amazing sex." She flips him off and walks away, which is actually a lot more polite than how I would've responded in that situation.

She then finds Cadault and explains to him that she always wanted to be Serena van der Woodsen and would buy bag charms because it was the only thing she could afford from the designers that she worshipped. Cadault turns out to be a Gossip Girl fan, which is revealed by having him spoil Gossip Girl. Seriously, he just straight-up SAYS who Gossip Girl is. I know it's been 8 years, but there should've been a spoiler warning or something. I already knew, but what if I hadn't? It was rude. Anyway, the next day Sylvie gets a call from Cadault that he wants a meeting with her and tells her to "bring Gossip Girl". Everything always works out for Emily in the end.

[wafflewarriors]

Of Daydreams and Realities

Chapter 4: Insomnia

Dean’s eyebrows quirked.

You screwed your eyes and threw your head into your hands. “I knew you wouldn’t get it. Who would? I sound absolutely raving mad.” You laughed, mocking yourself, “Sherlock Holmes. Good lord, I say it like he’s a monster under my bed. Would you believe that? It’s stupid. He’s actually a good man. But I… I can’t face him right now, Dean. I can’t. It’s okay if you don’t get it. I understand.” You sighed. “I would have thought I was crazy a month ago, too.”

Dean recovered, blinking and shaking his head. “No, I get it,” he murmured. “Of all people, I would probably get it the best. You wouldn’t believe the crazy stuff I run into.”

“But you’re also holding back,” Sam pitched in, startling you. “We can’t help you until we get the full picture here.” When had he sat up? Were these guys ninjas? Well, they were hunters… but wow.

“You guys seriously can’t help me. You’ll make it worse.”

Sam shook his head. “You keep saying that. What are we going to ‘make worse’?”

You stilled. You couldn’t. It was too cruel to say. “Well, you know…” you gestured shyly. They waited. “You know… like… all the people… uh…” They were not getting the hint. “Most people… um… most people you guys help end up… um…”

In hindsight, though, you hadn’t been very clear.

“…dead.”

Your anxiety returned as they were silent. You felt your heart in your teeth and the constriction of your chest. They aren’t reacting. Why aren’t they reacting. Yell, scream, something. React!

Sam looked up and his eyes were sad. “That… I’m sorry if we scared you like that. We really… ahm,” tears came to his eyes as he remembered Jess and the countless friends he’s lost on the road, but he quickly composed himself. “But,” he continued, “we still don’t know what we’re dealing with here. For one, why aren’t you sleeping?”

Might as well tell them. Shuffling on the cot, you stared at the lamp on the nightstand. “Well… when I fall asleep, well— I, uh… I don’t wake up in the same place.” You paused. Again, they were silent. “Please stop staring at me and say something.”

Sam cleared his throat, sending a lost look to Dean before he said, “Is there a pattern? You said we’re a television show. Do you wake up in different dimensions?”

“Yeah, there’s a pattern,” you said. “Three television shows. First I woke up in Doctor Who; then you, Supernatural; and the last one is Sherlock.”

Dean observed you carefully. “How long has this been going on?”

“A good month. They started as dreams. The dreams got worse. If I base it on dream-logic, I probably haven’t slept in days. They were dreams until I got shot—”

Dean’s back straightened. “Shot?”

“Yeah. In the face.” You tapped your forehead.

“You’re telling me you were shot in the face and you only got that little black mark? Sam, how is that possible?”

Sam, who was lost in thought, only shook his head. “It’s not.”

You shuddered, remembering the mugging in your dreams. Or… no, wait. Not a dream, remember? You were actually shot; you have a scar to prove it. You’re dead. “I’m really tired of this loop, and I honestly think Sherlock will break me.”

Dean hesitated. “Is he, like, evil-Sherlock? Or…”

“No,” you said. “No, he’s brilliant, I’m sure. But oblivious to social cues. He can rant and rant about how my fingernails show that I haven’t eaten in two days, and I seriously don’t think I can take it mentally.”

Dean processed the wrong part of what you’d just said. “You haven’t eaten in two days?”

“That isn’t the point—”

Somehow, this managed to bring out Dean’s protective nature. “Christ, you ‘ought to be starving. Here, kid, I’ll get you something.”

“That’s not… you don’t have to…”

But off went Dean regardless. He fetched a granola bar from his bag and tossed it to you. With your hands cupped, you caught it against your chest.

“… thanks,” you said, grateful.

They stared as you ate. As much as you hated pity, you enjoyed food a lot more. After a few bites, you said, “I still can’t get over that I’m dead.”

Sam seemed to ponder it. “You look alive to me. I mean, someone could have saved you.”

“But who? Who would have…” Grace. Castiel in my dreams. Grace! Castiel = grace, stupid. Add it up. “Oh,” you said. Have they met Castiel? “Ooh. Oh, what season are we…” You analysed Sam’s hair from the bed. “Um…” Maybe Season 3? “Can I ask you what major events have been, uh, going on?”

Dean didn’t try to sound sarcastic, but… he sounded sarcastic. “Maybe all the demons overrunning the Earth.”

“Is your dad..?”

Dean’s eyes flashed cold. “He’s dead.”

That couldn’t be right. This was pre-Hell Dean. You were sure of it. Which meant… Sam doesn’t know Dean sold his soul yet. Dean’s eyes said it all—they were pleading you to keep silent.

Get him out of here. “Hey, Dean… could you take me for a ride in the Impala? I know it's… it’s just… I think that might calm me down if I’m going to sleep.”

Dean nodded, rubbing his eyes and grabbing his jacket. “Yeah, no problem.”

You both shuffled out the door, leaving Sam in silence.

///

It was past midnight, but Dean didn’t seem to notice. You were right about the Impala relaxing you. There was this gentle purr of the Impala against the road that made your anxiety drop. Somehow, both the TARDIS and the Impala had succeeded at calming you lately.

There were several long minutes where you began to nod off. Was he going to say anything? Should you say anything? This is your only chance.

Dean beat you to it. “You going to disappear or something?”

You forced yourself to open your eyes. “I don’t know. Maybe I’ll circle back to this universe later. Unless I… unless I die in Sherlock and I… I don't…” Your breath hitched. You were an absolute baby about this. The Winchesters had already died countless times and the apocalypse hadn’t even begun. They hardly cried.

Soon, however, your hitching breath turned into unwanted tears.

Dean kept glancing, and then he brought his free hand to your shoulder. “Hey, you know, it’s okay to cry. Just because I don’t doesn’t mean you shouldn’t. I mean, you narrowly escaped Death. I know how it is. It’s tough. You’re practically a Winchester now, kid.”

That brought you to violent sobs. “But why—am I crying so much?”

Dean kept rubbing your back. He said, “I’m about to die in a few months. I’m going to Hell. I’ll be a mess compared to you, probably.”

After a couple minutes, you were drained. You needed to tell him. You murmured, “Hey, no matter what… please stay with Sam, Dean. As much as you are each other’s weaknesses, you’re also each other’s greatest strength. I can’t emphasize that enough. You two staying a team is what will save everyone.”

“But I’m leaving him.”

“Are you sure?”

Dean paused, watching you curiously. “I’ve died so much that I never really know. But I always assume it’s my last. Because if it is, and I don’t say goodbye, I’ll probably crawl out of Hell itself to tell him.” He laughed, “Maybe that’s good motivation.”

“Yeah,” you said. “Hey, Dean… is it okay if I…”

“Yeah, kid, knock yourself out,” he smiled, pleased by his joke.

After a good hour, your head nodded into the window and you began to drift with the car’s hum. Though you subconsciously knew this peace would not last.

Tags

@jay-bel

[istheresomebodywhocanimagine]

Pretty please, would you ship me with the band and the cast? I'm a hetero girl who is a PhD student in Media Discourse. I don't don't like my looks at all and struggle with self-esteem problems. I'm always friendly and kind to people. I hate talking about myself and being the centre of attention. Absolutely clueless in romance and all intimate things, I'm pretty oblivious when it comes to this. Perfectionist. Quiet. I love making jokes and sarcastic comments, books, movies, TV series, walks ^^

HELLOOOOO

hi u sound like a precious BEAN of a human i would genuinely love u if i knew you in person i attach so hard to ppl like you it is 100% my cancer tendencies ALSO HELLO FELLO MEDIA MAJOR I’M AN INTERACTIVE DIGITAL MEDIA: NEW MEDIA MAJOR but not a phd i am a dumb

anyways THE SHIPS R BELOW THE CUT

For the band, I ship you with John Deacon!

You are genuinely made for John, and he is made for you, for obvious reasons.

The biggest reason is your proclivity towards sarcastic comments. 

You had actually been Brian’s friend before you met Deacon, and Brian introduced you to the him after a show one night early on in the 70′s. You already knew the other boys because they hung around Brian’s so much, but Deacon tended to keep to himself and had his own small friend circle apart from them, so he was never around when you were.

Boy, did he regret that once he met you.

Deacon was very shy at first, as were you, but what caught his eye was the effortless way you managed to roast Roger without disrupting your quiet demeanor in any way.

“And then I said to her, ‘you ever seen the ceiling of the back of my car? would you like to?’“ Roger had said, earning a quiet scoff and eye roll from you that almost went unnoticed, save for Brian’s eagle eye. Brian loved to piss Roger off, and nothing would make him angrier than a girl who was unimpressed by his tactics.

“Not a fan, eh?” Brian asked, elbowing you as John watched you curiously, sipping his drink while you cleared your throat, glancing at Roger almost disdainfully, but not in a mean-spirited way.

“No disrespect, but I’ve heard better pick-up lines from a fortune cookie, Rog,” you remarked plainly, taking a drink of your beer as Roger’s face quickly soured, John almost choking on his drink and holding a hand over his mouth as you looked over at him with a smile and a kind gaze. “You alright?”

“Yeah, m’fine,” Deacon spoke from behind his hand, grabbing a napkin to wipe himself off as Roger scowled, still glaring at you.

“What? You think my one-liners are bad? I personally don’t.”

“Don’t you hate it when people answer their own questions? I do.... Oh wait,” you teased, making Roger roll his eyes before he steered the conversation in another direction, Deacon snickering at the purposeful irony in your comment and gaining another wide smile from you before you happily returned to your quiet observing.

After that, Deacon was suddenly finding time to come around Brian’s, and he only ever stuck around when you were there. Although he claimed it wasn’t because of you, Brian was all too aware of Deacon’s partiality towards you, so he took it upon himself to set you up on a blind date with each other, just for shits and giggles.

Much to Brian’s enjoyment, you both hit it off on the blind date when you got the chance to banter by yourselves, and though John’s more affectionate tendencies confused you at first, you grew to love each and every one of his romantic gestures.

He always knew just how to structure them so you wouldn’t feel too put on the spot, and he never drew attention to them - after all, they were for you to enjoy, not the public, so he never made a big deal out of being showy.

When you were still just casually dating before he’d asked you to be his girlfriend, you’d come to your apartment one night after a particularly long shift at work. 

John had come in during that shift to see you, and you were sad to see him go. His smile had the power to make your day loads better, and when he had to leave, you were pretty bummed. 

So, it was a big surprise when you walked into your apartment to see Brian and Deacon in the kitchen, making what smelled like a heavenly pot of spaghetti. Dropping your bag on the hallway floor, you stared at them in partial confusion and partial amazement as you walked in, Brian turning around and jumping a bit before smiling and wiping his hands on a towel.

“That’s my cue to leave,” he mumbled, passing by and giving you a quick, friendly kiss on the head before he was out the door, leaving you alone with a very smiley Deacon.

“What’s all this?” you asked, genuinely baffled at what laid before you. Your table was cleared off - it had stacks upon stacks of books that you’d read tons of times, but never tired of. There were two sets of plates and silverware set out, and you watched as Deacon brought the spaghetti over to the table, sitting it on an oven pad before doing the same with a plate of garlic bread.

“Saw you weren’t having a good day at work,” he replied, “Figured I’d come cheer you up, but had to recruit a little help.”

“Gosh, did I really look that rough at work? I mean, I know I usually look pretty rough, but I must have been horrifying for you to do all this,” you laughed, rubbing the back of your neck as you ducked your head a bit.

Deacon pursed his lips at your small self-deprecating comment, then shook his head as he wiped his hands on the towel as well. 

“You always look beautiful, sweetheart.” His voice was quiet, but sure, and you found yourself blushing as you sat down at the table across from where he was standing, avoiding his gaze. “Hey, I mean it,” he almost whined, sitting down across from you and waving his hand to draw your attention back to his face. “You’re adorable, and you should know that.”

He asked you to be his girlfriend later that night, and spent the rest of the time showering you in compliments to make sure you knew you were gorgeous and perfect in every way to him.

What a little romantic.

Annnnnnd for borhap.... I ship you with Rami Malek!

GOD his energy confuses/scares me so much ANYWAYS

Rami was always your favorite of the friends in the BoRhap group - he wasn’t snobby (here’s looking at you, first impressions Gwilym), he wasn’t too goofy (@ Joe sorry buddy), and he wasn’t absolutely intimidating (Ben looks like he lives, eats, and breathes gym). Allen, Lucy, and Aaron were closer to the others than they were to you, but then there was Rami. He was just Rami, a slightly awkward, mildly anxious guy who loved to be around his friends, but also valued privacy. 

This value of privacy is what initially attracted you to him, oddly enough. Joe, Gwilym, Allen, and Ben were all having a heyday with their social medias, posting dorky pictures of each other and screwing around while you hung back, not wanting to be involved or in any of the pictures.

“You too, huh?” Rami asked, coming to stand next to you as you watched them goof around with each other. You looked over to Rami, shrugging and smiling.

“Not really my thing, honestly.” He nodded and gave you a reassuring smile, looking slightly nervous as he glanced over to the crew as well.

“I’m right there with you. I think my Instagram has maybe 2 posts on it... or is it 3?” he wondered aloud, his thoughtful face making you giggle and shake your head as you hugged yourself. “Want to go take a stroll around the studio instead?”

Looking up at him, you considered for a moment before nodding. “That sounds lovely.”

And from there, you two clearly became each other’s favorites. As much as the rest of the cast would have liked to insert themselves into your friendship to make fun posts about it online, you and Rami always found a way to keep your kinship (and eventual relationship) under wraps. It wasn’t necessarily that you hated social media, it was that you preferred to stay out of the spotlight as much as possible.

Even though Rami was the star, he also preferred the same thing. He didn’t want to steal the limelight when he didn’t feel that he deserved it.

The first stroll you’d taken with him? That turned into a regular occurrence.

Whenever you two had the chance, you were taking a walk together, even if you had no particular place in mind to end it. One time, he took you on a walk that he claimed was completely random, but as you got closer to one of your favorite bookstores in London, you started to smell the hint of a planned location by him.

“I knew I shouldn’t have believed you,” you giggled as you entered the bookstore, Rami holding open the door for you. 

“Hey, I may not be a king of nice gestures, but I tried for you,” he complained playfully, bumping your hip with his before he nodded over to the corner, where there was a small coffee bar run by a single barista you’d come to know by name.

“Hello there, lovebirds,” the barista greeted as you came up, making you blush and Rami rub his jaw in slightly embarrassment. “I’m just joking with you, haven’t seen you two in a while. The usual?”

“Well, you know, filming. And yes, please,” Rami had replied, stepping to move out of someone’s way as they came in the door behind you. His hand came to rest on your mid-back, but it stayed there when the door swung shut. 

You didn’t mind, though. Simple little things like that were preferred by you anyways, seeing as you weren’t a big fan of showiness or grand romantic gestures. Things like a hand on the back, or holding hands was perfectly okay for you - they were easier to understand, and easier to pull off without ending up a blushing mess.

Which, speaking of, you were still currently a blushing mess from the barista calling you two lovebirds. Rami noticed, raising an eyebrow at you gently before smiling and pressing his thumb into your back slightly, just to get your attention.

“What’s the matter? Don’t want to be here right now? We can go if you want.”

“No, no, it’s fine,” you laughed softly, pressing your hands to your cheeks and sighing before laughing again. “Just getting used to the dating thing. God, I feel like I look like a tomato right now.”

“It’s cute,” Rami remarked simply, grabbing both of your drinks before heading over to one of the tables near the back, where you could sit in private and just relax. 

“Me being red as a fire truck is not cute, Rami.” He laughed at that, shaking his head and taking a drink of his coffee as he sat back on the chair that he’d scooted over so he could be next to you.

“Everything about you is cute, don’t lie to me.” You turned even redder, if that was possible at all, and Rami laughed softly as he wrapped his arm around you, squeezing your shoulder before kissing your head. “I’m being honest, really! You’re a cutie, don’t ever forget that.”

“Oh, don’t worry,” you laughed nervously, subconsciously leaning into his touch as you sipped at your drink. “Joe lets the entire Instagram universe know that on the daily.”

“If Joe brings you in here and the barista also calls you two lovebirds... I’m fighting him hand-to-hand. And that’s a fact.”

[marsgod]

Hello! Can I have a matchup for bnha and genshin? Those are the only two i know in that list

My sexuality: i dunno?

⚔️ ; APPEARANCE — Imagine as if a bunny got turned into a human being, yeah that's quite literally me. I got the chubby rosy cheeks, small nose that has a pinkish tone to it, i also have the bunny teeth and big round eyes. People often compare me to one and i just kinda accepted it. I also have glasses, and am a completely blind shit without them. I have red circles under my eyes (they're just there I'm fine) and i have curly jet black hair that's really fluffy. I am about like 198 cm tall

⚔️ ; PERSONALITY — My personality is basically just Arataki Itto if he was more of a crackhead, I'm very loud and chaotic. I'm also very oblivious and blunt, you'll have to explain something to me at least 10 times again, if i don't understand; i also like make jokes a lot, and puns sometimes! In general i just adore making jokes and getting a good laugh. Speaking of laugh my humor is extremely broken, I'll laugh at anything ranging from the most chaotic thing (examples: a goddamn picture of an m&m, a horse with high heels, a piece of bread falling, the word balls, someone flying, literally an image of a tree with music) honestly anything ranging from just that will make me wheeze like my lungs just exploded, or I'll laugh like a crazed fox. I am seen as pretty chill, I'm honestly a happy-go-lucky person and I can socialize with everyone! i have a habit of cursing and invent the most absurd sounding curse words my favorite ones are “you blithering feculent shithole” “What in the name of sweet dong tickling horse fuck?!” “bunch of putrid douchesquatting cretins” “you bullshitting shitbagging fuckass” and finally “how can you be such a fucksquatting pain in the waste chute” i also act like a knight despite my use of constant profanity. 'Tis but the truest way of the knight! Any chance i get to act like a knight, I'll take it. I probably pay more attention to animals then humans, if I'm in the presence of an animal and you're talking to me? I'll pay more attention to the animal. I usually miss major signs due to me being an oblivious asswhiffer and usually misunderstand situations a lot. I’m also really vengeful, my way of thinking is similar to that of Garou from OPM or even The Hero Killer Stain Himself. (how the hero demographic gets ALL the benefits and praise. Even in play fighting. I believe a villain is a living being and could become so much more if they weren’t labelled so bad though obviously there's real bad people, it's just not the villains they have their own motives and it's usually pretty innocent. I overly detest the over-egotistical nature of the heroes and just how easy life can be for them. I label it as injustice. The inequality is crystal clear, If i could i would bring justice to the villains. MHA Heroes are kinda on thin ice with me, i see them as the same with all heroes.)

⚔️ ; HOBBIES — drawing,reading, writing, dancing, i have a habit of cracking my bones- like how people crack their fists, i do that except with every bone in my body. Acting like a knight, or just whatever randomness my dumb fuckass of a brain can come up with

★ What i look for in a date: A date that's basically just us going to see a movie, somewhere in winter or just in a generally cold area (i hate the heat 💀) eating delicious food like: lasagna though i honestly prefer it to be cold as well (don't judge me) and we come back home and cuddle, i of course, am the little spoon despite being tall. I'm not the type of person to give orders i prefer my friendfriend [QPP] to do it for me, I'd love it if the person gave me headpats, i would literally hold them up and hug them tightly.

★ What i would avoid in a date: Overly romantic dates, If they don't respect my boundaries, genuinely shitty behavior, doesn't respect my opinions. It's in an extremely hot area, and we eat hot food.

★ Perfect date : like i mentioned in what i looked for in a date, just that. :)

— 🗡️ anon or knight anon

╰┈➤ I’d match you with… Iida Tenya!

╰i┈➤ I’d match you with… Noelle!

Noelle practices being knightly on a regular, day-to-day basis, so she can give you tips and notes to be a genuine knight<;33

Also any stories of knights? Kids books or adult? Given to you immediately given to you cause she collects them, and she’s super excited to share

She doesn’t believe it’s knightly, or generally just polite, to disrespect boundaries

Can barely stand cold weather so going into dragonspine, she’s gonna be cuddled up in blankets and jackets

Loves to bake and cook, Noelle learns quickly so she can definitely learn some cold dishes!

“Ah?! Are you sure you have enough layers? I have some extra blankets and jackets!”

Iida will definitely try to show off his knightly skills, and generally ‘knightly’ family in front of you to impress<33

Listens to you if you rant about inequality of heroes and the injustice within the system, even if he has trouble agreeing, there’s somethings that he agrees and disagrees with

He kinda shifts when admitted you say you think Stain was “right” but doesn’t blame you (just please down do attempted murder..)

but he does see your point and respects it

He’ll take your hand and spin you around randomly<33

Iida flinches when you pop your knuckles and has this look of horror if his bones crack<3

“[Name]! I can not possibly see how you’re okay with doing that to your poor knuckles!”