#to bad the nice lady retired Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[lobotomize-d]

I've been drinking elderberry and willow tea so much I forget how much I love oolong tea anwyahs hai

[sistermallorycarpenter]

Had to add some cuties, left are the lions from the zoo I worked at, right is my beloved hairball (she sounds like a lawnmower when she purrs)

[Image ID: 2 photos, the first showing a male and female lion sleeping against each other, the female lion has her face tucked into her paw. The second photo shows a brown house cat laying on a quilt with her paw over her face, looking at the camera. End ID]

KITTY COVERS EYES WITH PAWS WHILE SLEEPING WHILE PURRING 40 REVIVED 30000 HELAED

[hedgehog-moss]

I've said goodbye to half of my greenhouse goldfish! And the other half will follow later. I started out with goldfish when my aquaponics system was new as they are quite resilient to variations in pH, etc, but I decided it was time to move on to edible fish (carp.) I feel like carp have a bad reputation (as food) but my mum used to fish & cook them when I was little and I liked them—I'll have to ask her to teach me how she prepared them...

To thank my goldfish for their good work fertilising my greenhouse plants, I wanted to find a nice place for them to retire. Here's their new home :)

One of my distant neighbours has this artificial pond where he used to have goldfish but their population got decimated by a gluttonous otter. I hope *my* fish will be smart and agile enough to escape her, and if not, well... the otter's family has to eat...

The process of finding a new home for my fish went as follows: 1. Find an old lady, for example Mrs L. at the library, who likes to talk about people's lives and minor problems 2. Tell her in passing that I have goldfish I'd like to donate 3. Wait a few days, then go buy groceries.

The cashier told me "Oh hey, Mrs L. told me to tell you she knows someone who knows someone who wants your fish. She gave me a piece of paper with his phone number"

4. Success.

I called this person, and it turned out to be the farmer I often buy hay from, who told me all about his problematic otter and said he'd like to repopulate his pond. I offered to bring him my fish, and then proceeded to procrastinate for several weeks. I realised this week that I was going to see this neighbour again soon (when he comes to deliver my hay) and it would be embarrassing if I still hadn't made good on my promise to deliver fish, so I finally set to work catching 15 goldfish.

It took so long. I think the reason I procrastinated is because my subconscious knew catching them would be a pain. They are so quick and nimble! And unlike otters I am not designed for this. There was one barracuda of a goldfish that I particularly wanted to catch, but she was too smart for me. She feinted and hid behind the filter and sacrificed fellow goldfish by pushing them into my net instead of her, it was very dramatic and eventually I had to give up on catching her.

(I even tried to use a large piece of chicken netting on top of my fish net, but of course it was very light and floated at the surface. I considered tying little rocks to it so it'd sink, and then realised I had single-handedly (re)invented bottom trawling. But I don't want to be a bottom trawler, it sounds like an insult. I'll have to try and catch my monster goldfish some other time when she least expects it.)

On my way to my neighbour's farm, I ran into a cow roadblock. Normally I would have pushed the cows aside, removed the rope across the road then put it back behind me after crossing the cowblock—but the cow in charge looked grouchy to me.

I made a détour.

Then, because the universe really didn't want me to deliver my goldfish, I ran into a goose patrol when I reached my neighbour's farm. I now know how Odysseus felt when Poseidon kept throwing sea monsters and other obstacles at him to prevent him from reaching his destination.

I dispatched Pandolf to parley with them and he looked very unenthused by his mission.

Fortunately, the geese were in a good mood and politely escorted us to the pond.

Goodbye, friends! Remember, there's a snake in this Eden. An adorable, web-footed, fish-eating snake.

Most of the fish dispersed quickly, but I thought it was so cute how these two leisurely swam away together...

And so I went and bought new fish for my greenhouse tanks. I'm going to miss the goldfish! They're cheerful to look at and I liked sitting by the tank and watching them go about their day. My new fish are better camouflaged and will be harder to observe. But it was fun watching their first introduction to goldfish society :)

[alientee]

This is a 3 shot series inspired by the amazing writer @gyoongim. They did amazing with my ask and I’m in love with Alastor x Jessica rabbit .🤣

Fun fact It’s said that Jessica rabbit is also asexual!

Charlie felt defeated, she tried her hardest but there wasn’t shit she could do against that damn Adam or the council. Sera took pity on her stopping her for a moment “Charlie…… while you were not successful maybe we can come to a compromise?”

Charlie looked back up with her with hope in her eyes while Vaggie continues to glare.

“How about this we send an angel down with you, they spend a day in your hotel and we get to learn about all your progress. Maybe that will help sway the masses and myself.

Charlie instantly nodded thanking them over and over again. “So where’s the angle joining us”

“Emily has gotten her….. ah there they are”

Emily bounced forward happily introducing you

“Charlie this is y/n she’s one of the angels that actually believe In your cause!”

Sera looked down at you giving you a stern look.

“You’ll stay there for 1 day and then come right back y/n. Stay safe and good luck”

You walk into the portal with Charlie and Vaggie leading to the hotel. The demon princess didn’t stop talking about how she was going to give you a tour, show you everything they have to offer, even take you to the few nice places in hell. She started to ask you questions. She seemed really sweet and excited to get to know you. “Can I just say you look absolutely gorgeous, you’re like wow!”

You giggled. “Thank you hun I used to turn a lot of heads when I was alive. Too bad I only had eyes for one man.”

Charlie looked even more excited “ Oh my gosh tell me everything!”

You went on and on about your past, how you were a singer and a model, how you were married to a radio host. How you got married and ended up retiring to be a housewife. You stopped your story when you ended up in front of a hotel looking around shocked.

“So this is hell huh? Now tell me more about the hotel”

Charle links her arm with yours pushing the doors of the hotel open. “This is the hazbin hotel! Were we have 2 residents ready to rehabilitate and reform there life into good! It may not look like much but I garuntee you everyone here is dedicated to making there life better!”

Vaggie scoffed “not everyone”

“Okay almost everyone hehe” Charlie rubbed her neck nervously.

You look around and see the interior with a scary looking bar there were a couple of demons one looks like a spider the other a snake, two cyclops and the last one was…. a bird cat?

“Everyone this is y/n! She’s gonna be staying with us for the day to prove to heaven that demons can change!”

They all introduce themselves and the spider named angel comes up to you, looking you up and down. “ Beautiful and Busty they should’ve never sent you down here toots! Now you can give me a run for my money”

You laugh it off giving him a wink “I’m a tough lady I can handle myself. It’s nice to meet y’all”

Charlie gives you a tour of the hotel and you meet up with group once more “So what do you think y/n!”

“I think y’all have something really nice going on here”

“Thank you-“

“Charlotttttteeee~ why is there an angel in our premises didn’t I tell you the couldn’t be trusted”

You turned around at the sound at the static like voice.

“Y/N… is that you?”

Alastor still keeps his signature smile but his eyes are wide with confusion. He walks up to you pulling you into his chest. Alastor kisses both your cheeks putting his forhead against yours. “It’s me mon amor”

“Alastor!? Honey you look so different and your smile is even bigger than I remember”

“Well you know you’re not fully dressed without a smile. Y/n darling what are you doing here? Someone sweet as you doesn’t belong down here”.

You hold him close snuggling into his chest “oh Al it’s alright I’m just here to see the hotel on behalf of the council. I missed you so much ! What are you doing here honey ? I was so confused when I never met you in heaven what on earth got you down here?”

Alastor looks away sheepishly “Well about that-“

“UM EXCUSE ME!”

You both turn around to see everyone looking at you both in shock. After a long silence Charlie speaks up.

“So you two know eachother huh”

You looking at everyone shyly “You remember how I said I was married to a radio host”

Alastor smirked pulling his arm around your waist. “This gorgeous gal has had my heart since I first laid eyes on her” He kisses your forhead

None of them could believe it! You were Alastor’s wife?!

Vaggie moves forward while everyone else is looking at you in shock. “Hold on, wait a minute let me get this straight. You! A gorgeous, kind hearted, helpful angel…… are married to that thing?!”

Alastor squints his eyes his static going off “what are you trying to say Vaggatha”

Angel interrupts her before she could speak

“ it means she’s waaaayyyyy out of your league smiles. I mean Vaggies right, she’s hot and your….anyway, how and the hell did a dame like you end up with old freak face anyway?”

Alastor rolls his eyes “ I won her affections with my charm and manners. Something you clearly don’t have my feminine fellow”

Angel looks at him uninterested “yea I ain’t buying that. Toots why you with this stuck up prude?”

You hold alastor arm cuddling up to his side “He makes me laugh, how could I turn him down when he always put a smile on my face” you giggle softly

Everyone was still shocked by your answer none of them could really see someone like you with someone like alastor but decided to accept it (everyone accept Angel and Vaggie) Angel smirks

“Ok so I was right it definitely wasn’t for his looks”

“Well beauty isss in the eye of the beholder, I guesss he jussst got lucky”

Alastor rolls his eyes “Are you miscreants quite done”

“Now we always know why Mr fancy talk creepy voice is always smiling. Thinking about his busty wife gets him through the day haha”

“Angel dust if you wish to redeem your soul and make it into heaven I suggest you watch your mouth before I end your life.”

“Oh Al leave him be he’s just joking, now tell me why your down here”

Alastor sighs giving you his arm. You grab it not questioning it as he walks you both to the door. He doesn’t even look back at the others .

“I’m talking my wife for a walk we’ll be back shortly”

As the two of you walk out everyone stays silent until Angel speaks up. “I don’t care what any of you’s say, he was definitely not hitting that right”

As you both leave Alastor stays silent. You don’t rush him to talk, you never did. You two never fought when you were alive you always talked it out and took it one step at a time.

“You should know that I didn’t tell you this because I didn’t want to hurt you or scare you. You were the only good thing I had left after my mother. So I hope you can forgive me for keeping it from you.”

“Go on hon I’m listening”

“The bayou serial killer, that was me doll….i died getting shot in the head with a rifle, being mistaken for a deer while I was burying a body. And I may of…. ate a few people, but they were never in your food!”

You looked at him in shock but you never let go of his arms. “Oh my gosh….. that’s what you were doing out there, they never told me, just said it was a hunting accident….. I should’ve known! You would always go one these nature trips at night when ya barley had friends plus I shoulda known someone like you doesn’t like outdoor activities like that! How ya wouldn’t let me in your tool shed because it was to much “dangerous” stuff in there. How you’d come home from the radio tower early hours in the morning. I thought you were stepping out on me for a time but you still showed me all the same amount of affection so I pushed that thought out the window”

Alastor laughed a laugh track playing in the back ground “Oh daring why would I ever step out on the most beautiful woman in the world. I’d be a fool to have eyes for anyone but you”

He squeezed your hips pulling you into a hug “Do you regret marrying me, please tell the truth?”

“Oh Al of course not, even if you are a killer you were so sweet and gentle with me I’ve never felt safer than when I was with you. Your a wonderful husband I’ll never regret you honey ”

Alastor pulled you close his smile getting wider. “How about I make it up to you darling let me take you out on the town, it’s been a while and you deserve to be spoiled doll.”

“I’d love that Alastor”

You both walked down the street in silence with you both linked arm and arm as always. Until Alastor spoke up again”

“And by the way sweetheart Tu portes l'enfer hors de cette robe, j'ai raté ces courbes”

You blushed “Still a charmer I see”

Part 2 comming soon~

[ladyyatexel]

Friends, Romans, Tumblrites, lend me your reblogs.

I'm Xel and I live in a society! I think there's a solid chance you do also! So you may relate to the profoundly crappy thing that happened to me and that I once again need a community assist.

I lost a temporary job that was supposed to turn into a permanent job in June because no one there felt safe enough to retire. Only two of us in the apartment were under 50. One of the crew was over 70. Three were chronically ill/disabled. No one felt safe enough to leave in order for me to stay, so I was trained for basically 6 months for nothing.

I have survived on savings from that job until this point, but I'm at the point where I cannot pay rent. I'm looking into getting help from sources more local to me but the internet has always felt like people who cared about me more than the people I share DNA with, really.

Many of the social services that I was signed up for expired the day that I was supposed to be told that I would be a permanent hire, and since that didn't go down, now I have to start it all again from the beginning, and there are gaps in my security net.

I tell you all of that just to say that I am actually trying to do things, I'm not here to just beg and coast along on some sort of lavish lifestyle where I, uh. Keep living in this dodgy apartment with my cat.

I don't want to bore you with an itemized list, but like 2,000 US dollars would get me through September and October without being worried about it like every 3 minutes. My rent is 700 and change, if you would like to know that. So I'm looking for like September and October rent and money to renew my driver's license, pay a few utility bills, buy a bag of cat food, and refill my medications.

If you have the notion to toss help at an internet pal or the extended reblogged acquaintance of an Internet pal, as is more likely the case, probably, that would be super rad of you.

I'm an artist! You could get things with images on them from me! I sell buttons, prints, and commissioned illustrations if that's your thing. My commissions are going a bit slow as of late - I only recovered from being not really able to walk like 2 months ago, and so I'm doing a lot of catch up like everywhere else in my whole life and trying not to spend too much time at a desk since it aggravates the spine thing that was the problem in the first place.

To be honest, it would be a greater help to me to just receive some Aid rather than full-on commissions, but I completely understand feeling fishy about people getting something for nothing and also feeling bad for being a charity case on the internet, so I'm not opposed! If you want to chat about that, I have a commissions post on the side or top of my blog depending on where you're looking at this!

Ko-fi contains my buttons and is a good place to toss digital dead American presidents if that suits you. I will get hit by some PayPal fees in this process but, I'm willing to call that a call for help on the internet tax.

I promise I'm a real person and not a bot who has made up a cat and is pretending to have interests. My blog has been here since 2010! I've met people on this website in person and everything. I've had embarrassing obsessions no bot would bother coming up with. Speaking of:

Similarly to times before, I would like to be able to do something in order to feel like I have earned some kind of support, and as of my birthday last week I have resolved to try very hard in the next year to conquer my fear and absolute mortification about many of the things I make, so I will once again go digging into my archives for things I can post for you to enjoy as thanks and tribute! I also have a poll running right now to see what kind of buttons people want!

Thanks for taking a look! Be nice out there, take care of your spines!

[imustbenuts]

nuts reading trigun in japanese 7 - filial piety, and meryl

my alternate readings/translation/interpretation of jp lines are for triangulation purposes and nothing else.

ch 10-12. a more general scattershot of a post than over analyzing the japanese texts this time round. i think meryl in these 3 chapters is the most interesting character for me. but mainly bc she seems to be carrying a baggage: her struggle with filial piety.

^OH's version

ソレが普通ですわよ That'd be the most common sense thing to do. それにもともと家訓からして『自立せよ』ですからね But our house's motto is to first be independent above all. ドライといえばドライなのかも Mine would just be dry beyond dry...

me: hm. an office lady in the context of being written in 1990s by a japanese guy. i understand.

(i actually prefer OH's version bc the implications of what shes saying is the exact same, but more importantly leads into this page)

いきついて見れば When I realized all that 何か大切なものを忘れてるのかも… Realized that perhaps I've forgotten something (filial piety) so important... 私… I...

(you can see how this raw translation fucking sucks. I'd reword it in a way that's along the lines of 'feeling so ashamed as to forget getting angry', but OH's version is a downright banger. 11/10 the implications of what she feels is still the exact same. love it a lot!)

right so.

filial piety.

filial piety for a lot of asians is... kind of hard to break down. but perhaps can be explained as "abandoning ones' parents is the worst sin one can do".

not being filial is an invitation to the most extreme judgement from relatives and outsiders in a society which upholds it as the absolute virtue. at least, for the most part. (late stage capitalism fucked it all up yayy)

abandonment can be in the form of presence and/or financial. if a child doesnt make bank to pay back for their parents raising them up, they're not filial. if a child is absent and not there to take care of their parent, thats not filial.

and not being grateful, not being filial, equals shame and warrants divine punishment. (check out folklores like momotaro and kaguyahime that touches on these themes)

meryl i think struggles with that bc shes likely an only child who is expected to work an office job after studying super hard for it, and is now living independently away from her parents. meaning, she is technically not present to take care of them, which in this context makes her feel immensely guilty.

to make matters worse, it sounds like shes one of those types where her parents possibly had to work a lot to pay for this and that, resulting in a severe lack of communication. so this compounds, and she can only write dry stuff in her mind.

milly, by the way, does not have this problem as much:

she has a lot of siblings who can shoulder the weight of it all together, so in terms of that filial piety stress shes not doing so bad.

Badwick, the focus of this arc, by the way, faces the same struggles with meryl:

i mentioned the financial part bc from how chill the parents are with him, i think its possible he was trying to sell the land for large sums of money for his parents to retire. theres an added level of resentment going on that complicates their dynamic, with a dead brother and a land that means too much to sell for any sum of money.

and also his parents are... too nice and understanding, jeez.

i dont think meryl has the resentment. i think her case was similar in that her parents worked hard to provide and kinda neglected her in the connection part.

ofc this might then bring up the question of, 'isnt filial piety kinda transactional?', and, yeah. it... frankly can be. some parents have weaponized it, knowing that a society which forces unconditional love and financial support from a child is a good retirement plan. and it sucks. nightow must have realized this and sidestepped it.

whether bc it will not be well received by the then jp audience or if he just doesnt want to tell a story about this, i dont know. there could also be the fact that the 90s was a bad time to be talking about securing retirement for parents when the economy was circling the drain.

trigun gets dark later. we are getting love and peace above all else, at least for now.

...hm something seems to be rising over the horizon. but we can deal with that later. domestic violence

also i think vash is the kind who would also be a filial son to rem. this aspect of him is just lurking silently in the background in hindsight. in a barrel.

(incidentally i think this is also why luida and brad got promoted to surrogate parents position in stampede. much to ponder ponder...)

[lmk-oc-competition]

LMK OC COMPETITION - ROUND 1

click to see full image

Yan Yu Ji belongs to @thesleepingdramaqueen

Lǐ Nà belongs to @violina08

Learn more about them below the cut!

Yan Yu Ji:

She a white monkey demon with light blue eyes, she's an ambivert and limits her trust solely on her closest friends, she's a descendant of the monkey zodiac but is considered an outcast due to the fact that she's a half-human, her mom disapeared during her childhood and her human dad wasn't very present in her life so she has abandonment issues and suffers from small spectrum, she is often being looked down upon by other zodiac families but dosen't really care,she stopped school at 24 due to pressure, she lives in the monkey house with her veterian uncle, retired grandpa,three big brothers and little monkeys, she has a nice job in the noodle shop across pigsy's and tries her best to avoid her few exes ,her power is to bend sand(she is called the sand dancer) and her weapon is a sword called the crystal blade, her story begins when she stumbles upon some of her mom's secret research that could possibly lead to her and when she encounters a certain shadow simian.

Lǐ Nà:

╭── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╮

ೃ⁀➷ __ʙᴀꜱɪᴄ ɪɴꜰᴏʀᴍᴀᴛɪᴏɴ__ ꜰᴜʟʟ ɴᴀᴍᴇ:Lǐ Nà ɴɪᴄᴋɴᴀᴍᴇꜱ / ᴛɪᴛʟᴇꜱ: Flashy ᴀɢᴇ: +20 ᴘʀᴏɴᴏᴜɴꜱ:she/her/herself ꜱᴇxᴜᴀʟɪᴛʏ:Poly/Pan

ೃ⁀➷ __ᴅᴇᴛᴀɪʟꜱ__ ʜᴇɪɢʜᴛ:5'3

ᴀʙɪʟɪᴛɪᴇꜱ: she can cause lighting in every second but that will cost her much of her powers, at first Lǐ Nà is struggling to control her powers but by the time she uses it, she also gets used to the power and in the end she can control it perfectly.

ꜱᴛʀᴇɴɢᴛʜꜱ: she isn‘t weak but not SO strong at the same time. but the flashes she can cause can burn really bad, she’s can be really smart in serious situations but not always.

ᴡᴇᴀᴋɴᴇꜱꜱᴇꜱ:When someone puts her friends in danger or threatening them, but she can’t help them, nor the people she wants to help. She wants to save everyone,||but who saves her.?||

ᴘᴇʀꜱᴏɴᴀʟɪᴛʏ: Lǐ Nà since she was a little child, she’s quite enthusiastic and all fun! But sometimes she can be really emotional! Doesn’t matter what she can always cry, even if she sees some kitties. She acts like a little child, she needed attention, also Lǐ Nà can also range. There may be situations where she wants to kill someone so bad for hurting her loved ones. She’d do everything for them.

ꜰᴇᴀʀꜱ:Thinking that she’s not good enough…Thinking that she can’t save everyone, thinking that her friends may just turn away from her, ignoring her, despite her..She also has a big fear of spiders and insects!

ʟɪᴋᴇꜱ:she absolutely adores animals for example kitties, their silly cute lil faces are just so cute to her! Lollipop is her favourite snavk, she can eat it whenever she’d like. If someone is baking her the chocolate cake she’ll gift the person soooo many things! she’s nice to people who are nice to her!

ᴅɪꜱʟɪᴋᴇꜱ:Spiders/Insects, she also despises sudden loud noises. It also annoys her when people and underestimate her.

ೃ⁀➷ __ʀᴇʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴꜱʜɪᴘꜱ__ ꜰᴀᴍɪʟʏ / ʀᴇʟᴀᴛɪᴠᴇꜱ: she has a mother but she doesn’t know her at all, her name is BeiPan(背叛).

ꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅꜱ: The whole town are her friends! but especially MK and Sun Wukong !

ʟᴏᴠᴇʀ(ꜱ)*: none yet! (yet…heheh..)

ᴇɴᴇᴍɪᴇꜱ: The Lady Bone Demon, the bull king family and BeiPan.

ᴀɴʏ ᴇxᴛʀᴀ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴꜱ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇᴍ?:

• Lǐ Nà likes holding hands or hug! Thats making her feel safe:3!

•A grandma in her village raised her, and her village she was born in was helping her and treated her like treasure

•she isn’t really a fan of apples and bananas, its just not what she would always eat

•She always has lollipops with her

╰── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╯

[tragedy-peanut-gallery]

what are your thoughts (and potential headcanons) about aegon iv's nine mistresses?

Ouffff well I gotta be honest I probably won’t have as many headcanons about them as I did for the daughters in law of Daeron and Myriah- but I’m more than happy to share my thoughts about them!

Falena Stokeworth

Thoughts: Groomer!!! Get lost lady you’re literally his dad’s age!!!!! Should’ve locked her up in Harrenhall and thrown away the key maybe!

Headcanons: Honestly I think canon already kind of spells it out for us given her age relative to his own, but I wouldn’t be surprised if she was preying on Aegon’s whole mommy issues deal in order to get into a relationship with him. Pain and suffering all around.

Megette

Thoughts: Honestly poor girl she deserved sooo much better :( pretty sure her whole deal was supposed to be another commentary on how nobility don’t actually give a shit about the smallfolk even when they’re lovers and all that, but goddamn I just feel bad for her :(

Cassella Vaith

Thoughts: Ngl another girl who deserved so much better- it’s kind of weird how they give her a description but not the other mistresses but hey who am I to judge- makes her easier to draw ig?

Headcanons: Oh she was absolutely psychologically tortured during her time with Aegon because that man is notttt capable of being nice to any woman. I imagine the reason she wasn’t married off after being returned home was because of how traumatized she was

Bellegere Otherys

Thoughts: Okay this may sound stupid as hell given all the shit I talked about Aegon prior to this but like…. Idc, I support her decisions in choosing one of the most rancid men in Westeros to be her lover. In her defense!!!! Pickings for royalty were very slim- her only other options were a former teen dad who’s still hung up on his ex wife and is always busy trying (and failing) to keep his nephews from dying, a member of the kingsguard who’s obsessed with his own sister, and Baelor, of course she was gonna go for Aegon! Bellegere can get the one exception because I think pirate women are really cool and tbh I think she’s also the only one who was with him for funsies before dropping his ass like a sack of potatoes when he got too annoying for her

Headcanons: Ngl I kinda like to think her daughter Nahra took up the whole trading/smuggling/pirating business after her, and Bellegere got to retire and chill in Braavos watching all the shit go down with the Blackfyre rebellions. Good for her <3

Barba Bracken

Thoughts: I mean…. She’s a bitch, but tbh she kinda deserved better too. Even if she is meant to be a bad person, she was also just a teenager when Aegon began sleeping with her and was mostly pushed forward by her own dad, and its sad that she then continued the cycle of abuse to her own sister :(

Headcanons: I kinda like to think she and Daena had a very toxic frenemy-ship, that’s my main reasoning to explain why Aegor was so loyal to Daemon lmao

Melissa Blackwood

Thoughts: I mean, she’s one of Naerys’ only canonical female friends so she gets an automatic like in my books. And also kinda funny that the Bracken/Blackwood slap fight actually caused another Targ civil by just pushing their female relatives in front of a horny king. She absolutely deserved so much better

Headcanons: I refuseeee to believe she died in childbirth, in my head she’s also retired chilling in Raventree Hall with her daughters and occasionally got updates from Brynden about the war crimes he was committing <3

Bethany Bracken

Thoughts: Deserved so, SO much better. Mr lord Bracken sir I will see you in HELL!!!!!

Jeyne Lothson

Thoughts: Only thing I have to say is…. Absolutely gothic horror girlie because holy shit. My god. Was George intentionally writing her story to be horrifying or was it a weird fetish- I’m hoping to god it was the former. Anyways she absolutely deserved so much better than all the adults in her life

Headcanons: For added flavor aka more horror! I do headcanon her to actually be Aegon’s daughter, and I believe Danelle was either her daughter or granddaughter because- well, we do definitely need to sprinkle in some more cursed bloodline shit to the house that’s already doomed cause they’re living in Harrenhall, yippe :))

Serenei of Lys

Thoughts: Boring as hellllll that she died from childbirth like- COME ON!!! Let the lady die from implosion, or slipping on a banana peel or something!!! Also kinda sucks that we barely know anything else about her! I want the lore George!!!

Headcanons: Due to lack of lore, I’m stealing someone else’s previous headcanon that she’s actually a Hightower bastard because 1. Absolutely hilarious and is absolutely the level of hustling scam-artistry that I would expect during Aegon’s reign, and 2. Kinda explains her whole deal- why Jon even brought her to court, why we know nothing about her past, why she’s so distant and kinda secretive. Shout out to whoever came up with that headcanon cause that lives in my head rent free forever now

[gingersforeverbox]

Hi, no one asked for this, but have some Nathan Bateman x Reader headcanons/ drabble ideas

A/n: Howdy, I know it's been a hot minute since I posted something of my own, but I've been a simp for this stupid-genius bastard for a while now, and here is just a dump of the thoughts that are bouncing around in my head about Bitchman himself :)

Fem!Reader x Nathan Bateman btw

Content warnings: Nathan for obvious canonical reasons, the good kush🍃, swearing (probably), suggestive material that is +18 (If I find a minor on my lawn I swear to all that's good that I will tell your parents/guardians that you're being inconsiderate of boundaries Ya lil gremlins), that's all I can think of for now, but let me know if I missed anything! <3

Pretty little homemaker Reader? Yeah. Pretty little homemaker Reader who got to happily retire once they married Nathan and be a domestic, feminine person without care? Even better!

Pregnant Reader where we learn about what it’s like to be expecting with him (spoiler: he is a pain in the ass up until you have to snap at him to be considerate to the person who will give him his child, then he surprisingly gets his head out of his ass to try and be better for you and y'all's child).

Reader and Nate have to go to a gala or some shit for the first time as an official couple then there’s a bunch of questions from the press and coworkers about y'all being together, and he is basically like "Honey, I own the planet, whatever you don't want public won't be public. it's that simple, now let me show you this ice sculpture that looks like a dick if you look at it right >:)"

Stoned Nathan and Reader. She does it for fun, he insists that he’s gonna be chill, but he is such a fuckin nerd that he babbles about how scientifically interesting weed is while Reader is just like “M’kay babe, keep talkin’, you’re cute like this iloveyou” and Nathan kinda just buffers for a minute before then is high as a kite when he realizes "oh fuck this woman makes me feel things and I'm too high to try and hide it iloveyoutoo"

Nathan getting genuinely confused when Reader treats Kyoko with basic dignity despite her being an AI, and Reader basically being horrified with how he treats her and actively goes out of her way to be nice to Kyoko. Does Nathan learn to be nicer to his AI? Does he still treat them like shit and it bites him in the ass? YOU DECIDE!

Bossy!Reader who is one of BlueBook's communications experts, and he can't wrap his head around the idea of Reader, the same lady who doesn't hesitate to call one of his ideas bad-shit crazy, being the same lady who easily schmooses his business partners for him until he sees her in action at a conference they both have to attend. Nathan then realizing that he likes his organic women to be a lil fiesty.

*forewarning that this one is a little self-indulgent:* Nathan and a Psychologist reader? I would pay Money to watch those two bicker about everything. like come on, Nathan's fuckin' nuts and Reader deals with emotionally/ mentally troubled people for a living. Just imagine BlueBook deciding to assign him a psychologist since he lives in the middle of nowhere all the time, and Reader taking one look at him and being like "Oh, he's not just a narcissistic rich man, he's a narcissistic rich man with a literal god complex.... interesting :)))" then proceeding to actually help him regardless. Bbgorl wouldn't know what hit him.

That's all for now folks, as you were 😊

....psst, hey, if anyone is interested in reading something with any of these ideas I would happily see what I can do to make a lil somethin'-somethin'. Also, if you wanna take a stab at writing any of these, all I ask is that you tag me so I can get some credit and so I can see y'all's awesome work <3

[gilverrwrites]

For Black Mask 🖤 for the Headcanon Meme < 3

what does their breakfast look like?

what is their favorite wine / liquor?

how do they take their coffee / tea?

do they take any medications?

what does a typical day off work look for them?

On a standard day, breakfast is just a black coffee with one sugar, but if he's in the position where breafast is easy/a must (a meeting in a resturant, a day off, a special occassion) then he's partial bagels. He's not fussy what kind but he defiently prefers savoury: a plain or wholewheat, bacon egg and cheese with butter.

For wine, gotta be a nice expensive bottle of italian red, but he'd always reach for a whiskey first. Probably bourbon, but he prefers sweet flavours over nutty or woodsy.

Black americano with one sugar, preferably brown sugar. He also enjoys a (again black) cold brew in the summer. He has many boxes of chamomile tea, meant to help calm him when he's in bad mood but he never drinks them.

Yes, however I am not a professional so I couldn't get to technical here. As he has a pacemaker, he probably takes some kind of beta bloker to help reglaute his heart rhythms. Pacemakers can also cause pain/discomfort so he probably takes a lot of over the counter pain meds. and I wouldn't be suprised if he's prescribed (but not taking) something for a mood disorder. (Mood disorders are often the cause of anger issues.)

Days off are few and far bewteen, and it nobody is there to distract him, he'll prbably end up putting in at least a few hours of work. But with the best of intentions: Probably has breakfast ordered from his favourite deli and brought to him at home. After a slow start to the day he'll probably take one of his cars for a drive, not in the city, but wherever the closest scenic route is. Really feel the wind blowing over his big bald wooden head.

In the evening it can go one of two ways. He's either meeting with friends/criminal associates for poker, drinks, ladies, or something of the sort, and not going home untill the early hours of the following morning.

Or he's having a nice long hot soak in the bath with a glass of wine before retiring to bed where he'll watch mob films/documenaries.

Thank you for the ask! 🖤🖤🖤

[mrstsung]

Ok here's a cute one for my liu kang self ship au

*i love making these lil babyz*

Liu-liu proposes 💖🥺

The chosen one....chooses <3

*Maybe now he can be left tf alone and live quietly in peace with someone!?!* maybe lao takes over finally and liu kang can fucking retire. Or at least be a master and mentor without him becoming a god to fucking do it?! Like he didn't need to do that to help ya know? Fucking nrs fucking over a perfectly good guy,for what? Plot? Money? Liu kang deserved better. And by better i mean retired from the main narrative. Let my boy get married to a sweet honey and left tf alone. And it doesn't need to be kitana,sonya,or any mk main lady. It can legit be someone not on the roster,just a kind,nice sweet ordinary(ish) person. Ffs

Anyways. Liu kang self ship au. Where liu kang settles down in his chill af apartment,has a honey boo thang and loves them,and teaches at the wushi from time to time and NOTHING BAD HAPPENED!

(Used a base)

[destinygoldenstar]

☀️Tom Is The Impostor Among Us☀️ - Total Drama Viewer Reacts to Disventure Camp Season 1 Episode 3 “Mazed And Confused”

Sorry for the wait. I have wanted to get this out sooner. But I had work, + I caught a cold. It’s not fun. Still doing this though.

Let’s Jump Right In:

"Now go find Ellie"

And right off the bat, we get this person again.

Who are you?! Why do you appear so randomly?!

I don't think you have to watch for Grett controlling you Gabby, I think you have to watch for your twin here.

"I'm not in the best position, but at least I didn't get votes."

That's one way to look at it.

"I have an immunity totem, if you ever feel in danger, give me a signal in the challenge and I'll secretly pass it on to you."

No Gabby you can't just do that!

Grett's gonna boot you!

"Would you really do that for me? Why?"

"Well, you were the only person that was nice to me on that team."

Yeah she was. Ellie's cool.

Make it to the merge so you can be besties!

"It's a shame we couldn't agree on yesterday's elimination."

YEAH. THAT WAS ALL YOUR FAULT.

"Ladies, we did what we had to do! That punk had a few screws loose."

Nick...

Okay, in terms of my take for best girls: Grett, obviously, stan the bad bitch. Gabby's also warming up to me and I like her story of her being outcasted for her personality.

Best boys though is kinda up in the air. I'm leaning towards Nick and... I guess Jake. But DAMN did you frustrate me Nick!

But I'll forgive stupidity for one episode. It was a 'stupid for the sake of the plot' situation.

"The can't happen again. The alliance must stay strong and united."

Okay are they gonna work together now?

"Yesterday before the elimination, the alliance was talking and we couldn't come to a decision."

Oh so you DID talk. And you STILL didn't work together to protect your teammate!

SURE.

"For some bloody reason, Lill was defending Will and Ashley preferred to throw her vote on Alec. I obviously went Will. As much as I hate to admit it, Lill is being a bit annoying..."

Nick, you better take that back.

I mean, I get it, maybe he doesn't know how these sorts of things work with his homelife and all that, but he's gotta learn.

"I went fishing!"

"But Jake and Tom went fishing, they took all the fishing gear."

She fished with her mouth like a bear.

And I said this last time, there's other ways to fish besides rods. Buckets. Nets. You can make cages.

THOSE FISH DON'T LOOK SAFE TO EAT

Tom's like "That's funny, all my teammates suddenly died of poison. Oh well, guess I'm in the merge!"

I mean he's a sus ninja hiding shit, he could be a serial killer.

"We have to eat them before the challenge."

*Gets an Inside Out 2 Trailer Ad*

I don't like that context!! I'm gonna be honest!!

OH GOOD GOD WHY IS THE SKIN STILL ON IT AND NOT IN THE POT?!?!

Guys, I don't think you should eat Grandma's cooking if you value your lives.

Honestly, I forgot Miriam was here XD

"I wanted to ask you if you're okay. You've been kind of upset since we got here and-"

"Whatever happened to minding your own business?!"

Okay chill! He was trying to be nice to you!

Come on, he's been a very sweet guy so far and is giving you all a chance. What's there to snap about?

We'll see how well that statement ages. (Thanks for making me paranoid Caleb)

Plot twist: Jake and Tom are both secretly evil. Tom is a serial killer. Jake was a prominent bully back in high school.

"If it weren't for my retirement money, I wouldn't be here."

I'm not an elder. How ass is retirement funds?

"Do you think writing on your hand is a good substitute for a notebook?"

"I know Gabby said she was cool with me using my notebook, but I kinda lied to her so she wouldn't kill me, so I want to take that extra precaution. You know?"

"Today we will test your ability to face your worst fears!"

Oh it's Phobia Factor from Total Drama.

That was actually one of my favorite challenges from that show's season. This should be a fun episode.

And if you want to know what my phobia would be, it would be either walking around dead plants or riding a roller coaster. I HATE roller coasters.

"We've been doing a bit of research on each of you and I have to say we've found some interesting stuff."

So you doxxed.

Yes, what else would you like to confess to the police?

"And since we're here doxing, Grett has a body count, Gabby has a split personality, Tom wears makeup underneath his mask and he wears the mask to not be bullied about it... shall I continue?"

Course they use Queen Grett as the example... but she looks naked with the image cropped like that and I DON'T want that in my head!

(I know this is technically adult animation. I don't care. If I want porn I'll ask for it. And I'm not asking for it.)

Grett's scared of the dark! I knew it!

Queen may slay, but at the end of the day, she's got embarrassing stuff like this. We stan it.

And they use Dan as a bad example. Also slay.

I'm realizing I'm so MEAN to Dan. I'm always bullying him in these posts. And I have, literally, NO reason for it. Man didn't do shit!

And I am pissing off all Dan stans that see these posts.

"The first team to reach the other side gets immunity and a reward!"

We're not gonna hear what the reward is this time?

Oh we do see it. Okay.

"Waterproof Tent" I SURE HOPE IT DOESN'T RAIN NEXT EPISODE!!

Next Episode:

"I'm sure these scares are harmless"

"For your first challenge, you must watch EVERY Five Nights At Freddy's Installment!"

The subtitle XD

"Fear of Sharks; You must swim in a pond with a shark for five minutes!"

I would not do that. I ain't losing a limb!

*Ellie clicks the check*

*Spawns an ad on USAA*

OH NO! THEY LIED!!!

Ellie's real fear is her finances XD

"Fear of Cemeteries; You must go alone and spend ten minutes in the Tipiskaw cemetery!"

That's not too bad. I could do that.

The subtitle just says "What" during his dialogue, I'm dead XD

"Tipiskaw Cemetery? Thought this was the wilderness."

It's for the fish you killed. And whatever other wildlife you killed.

"Maybe it's a pet graveyard."

Gabby just said my thoughts. This is how many times now?!

Stop being so relatable, Gabby! It's scary!

You backed out?!

BOO. VOTE HIM OFF.

Okay THAT is far more terrifying! Come on!

"Don't look at him. Just close your eyes."

"It'll make your death far more peaceful, sweetie! I promise ya!"

"Sharks are harmless."

Alright I love ya again Nick.

There actually are some harmless sharks.

Just be thankful Chris McLean isn't hosting this.

"I feel bad for letting the team down..."

"I wish I could do it, but, it's just... hits too close to home."

OH... HONEY.

"I lost my grandfather when I was a kid and I always went with my mom to visit him and leave flowers. That place caused me a lot of anxiety. Now my grandmother's sick and I know it's only a matter of time before... you know..."

My gosh...

Alright. This guy is my best boy for this show.

He got me way too invested in his story.

"Fear of going bald; There is someone inside waiting to cut all your hair"

OH HI HEATHER, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!

That HAS to be a Total Drama Reference!

"Why? Hair grows back."

Fiore spitting facts XD

"Fear of being alone?"

Why does he sound confused with that? That's basic introverted life!

I could totally do that!

The subtitles again XD

"I thought I'd never have to see the inside of one of these again..."

GABBY. IS THERE SOMETHING TRAUMA BASED YOU WANT TO SHARE TO THE CLASS???

Cause that's concerning!

She's doing it. She came to SLAY.

Grett taught her well.

Hey Queens, you dropped this 👑

"All my life, I've worked with girls Fiore's age and I feel that something's not right with her..."

Lilly. I owe you one.

Props to Lilly to be the one smart one in this alliance.

"She looks like a little baby piglet."

THOSE ARE THE DEVIL'S EYES

Oh hey, she's not alone! She has... Blabby.

That's terrible.

"How dare they do this to you again?"

Yeah, Gabby is definitely traumatized.

"Yay! I made it!"

She's served her time in prison.

"Fear of confronting your past; YOU. MUST. BAKE. A. CHEESECAKE."

OOOOHHHH NOOOOOOOO THE HORROOOOORRR!!!!

I was always terrified of setting the kitchen on fire!

"What's so painful about cheesecake?"

Colesterol.

"What the hell was that?"

*Gets a Grammarly Ad*

The ads I'm getting today are cracking me up XD

MONTAGE

SLAY GRETT. YOU DO IT!

*Nick's fear*

... I think I'm gonna get flagged for this one. So I'm not showing it.

Drew's is the most terrifying.

Fiore's phobic of moose?

Okay, no, Dan's dead.

Lilly is also dead.

"Fear of fires; You must wear a thermal suit and enter a small cabin that we have behind the door. Which will burn in flames for fifteen minutes."

At least she gets a suit, so it could be worse.

"We couldn't find much information on you"

He is SUS as I will get out!

"You must take off your mask!"

OVER A MASK?!

BOO. VOTE HIM OFF.

Goddammit Tom.

"I just can't reveal to everyone that I may or may not like wearing makeup, okay?! It's personal! You don't know what I've been through!"

This is a joke btw. I don't think it's actually that. It might just be some facial scar under there, or he has to hide it for his job.

"I haven't always been afraid of fires. Two years ago, a heat wave caused one near my family's farm. We lost part of the house, the animals, and the crops. We haven't been able to fully recover after that."

HONEY. OMG.

We ANOTHER character motive that's very sympathetic! LET'S GO WITH THE TRAUMA!!

Not Fiore ACTUALLY being scared for Ashley!

Also Alec looks bored with every situation.

"It's suspicious. Don't you think?"

SUS.

TOM IS THE IMPOSTOR AMONG US.

YES ASHLEY FOR THE WIN!!!!

Tom can't be going. He has too much story for them to boot him now. Right?

RIGHT?

"Numbers are key in this game and I'd rather be with him than against him."

Oh thank god, this team DOES have a brain. Unlike the Purple Team last episode.

"I'd rather vote for Grett."

"How about Gabby? Sometimes her attitude is somewhat erratic."

DON'T. YOU. DARE.

Grett has a brain. She knows what's going on.

"Maybe I could convince one of the guys to vote with us."

We love a smart queen.

TOM IS SUS

WHERE'D YOU GET THAT?!

He just threw the walkie talkie XD

"You caught me ordering KFC!"

"Someone here has been watching you."

"Two people actually. The first is me because I'm currently stalking you. The second is that fruity boy."

"Drew."

"Drew the third. He's fruity for you, AND he's stalking you."

OH THE NOTEBOOK.

I was thinking that would be leading to something!

"The boy doesn't trust you very much. You can read it yourself."

"I saw Tom vent in medbay. Vote him out."

"Guys it's Drew. Drew is the Impostor."

I can't show the images of the votes this time because of Tumblr image max.

We already know who's going, right? This is not a shocking elimination at all.

"The boys alliance will get me further in the game."

Dan really just said "I don't work with women."

NOW I have a reason to bully him.

"I may have messed with Drew's notes just a little."

What did you do exactly?

Also her handwriting's pretty.

This isn't a shocking elimination. We already know who's going.

'GABBY'

Yeah, yeah, we know.

'DREW'

It's gonna be 3 Gabby. 3 Drew.

'GABBY'

'DREW'

'GABBY'

'DREW'

And this is the part where Tom flips.

Yep. Bye bye.

He was fine. I just kept forgetting he was there.

Thought Dan was gonna be more mad about that. "ALRIGHT WHO'S THE FLIPPER?!?! SOMEONE HAS TO EXPLAIN THEMSELVES!!"

"Drew was ejected"

Alright, that's the episode.

That was a good one. I'm actually enjoying this show quite a bit so far. A lot of people said I wouldn't like this show at all. So I am, so far, pleasantly surprised.

I think it's gonna be a bit before we get to eliminations of characters I actually really like.

I'm a bit more interested in Miriam now. I'm curious what her trauma with cheesecake is in particular. But I feel like it might be something worse than that.

My best girls are Grett and Gabby. Again, I don't stan characters as in "They did nothing wrong" I just plain like them as characters. I KNOW Grett is someone to not be liked. I'm NOT routing for her to win. I just think she serves her role with dignity and she's playing the game really well. I also want to learn more about her.

Gabby is really growing on me, and I'm interested in her isolated background and why she acts so erratically. She's also a really good balance between sympathetic and borderline annoying with her behavior.

The boys are kinda more iffy with me. Dan is Dan. Alec is... boring, as of right now. I like Tom, and I know he has story going on with him, but it's also kind of obvious what the twist with him is just from his design alone. That the point out multiple times.

So I guess my best boys are Nick and Jake as of right now. Jake especially, I'm actually really liking the story with him. I like how he's empathetic towards the elders because of his close relationships with his own grandparents who understood him (whatever that means), and how the death of one and critical state of another had an affect on him. I do think he and Ashley have the most sympathetic motives for being here, with Ashley helping her farm and Jake helping his grandma. He's also really sweet and caring so far, especially with Miriam this episode.

Nick, again, I like his story of him wanting to prove himself to his parents but being delusional on how to handle this circumstance he's in. He IS kind of fading to the background though, so hopefully that is fixed and he gets the character development set up for him.

Can't wait for you all to laugh maniacally at me hearing that cause you know of any derailment that happens later this season! Can't wait!

If you guys want me to continue these reactions, be sure to let me know.

[enchantingrosetea]

Ages in kpop:

Age limits, How young can they register into a company? The youngest to debut should be at least 18+ years. I wouldn't cause too much disruption for the training period 16 to 20+ so it would be 5 years of training, which is not bad it could be worse, like 10+ years... I'm looking at you J.Y.P poor twice Jihyo [10 years trainee] and g.soul [15 years as a trainee] Johnny from nct [9 years trainee] and I don't mean for kpop entertainment companies to cut corners on training the shortest training period should be 3 years at least, the shortest "training" is no training fomis 9 gyuri she had 0 training they just put her in the group, ex-member Olivia hye from LOONA had one day of training then she was put into the group it's irresponsible for companies just to put them with little to none training on sing, dancing and/or rapping, I understand that they are some people who have talent but not everyone works that way. It's better to be safe than sorry. Let groups debut with older members age 20+ the kpop Fans grow older and shouldn't be left behind especially if international fans are all ages to teens/adults and up it would be nice to have some more spicy/mature concepts if ya know what I'm saying also please for the love of sweets retirement starts at 40 to 50 depending on their body conditions... I'm looking at you, super junior. So the math from start to finish as an idol is 18 to 40-50 so that would be 21 to 31 years as an idol minus the 2ish years for the military  the guy's have to do, and 23 to 33 for the lady's not bad if I say so myself.

[29625]

Some smut idea dump for Slimav I came up with in the haze of disordered sleep from jetlag.

Also the angst is eating me up, man. Gotta be horny and let the boys fuck in peace sometimes.

TW: NSFW themes. Explicit discussion of consensual sexual contents. Unhinged discussion about Slider’s himboness.

1. Slider dressed as a mad scientist for Halloween, except for the fact it’s not Halloween just yet. Mav comes home to see his boyfriend trying out his very intricate costume (Believe it or not, Sli can be pretty artsy, duh!) with a white coat and a black sweater and trousers and gloves and everything. “Ah! Welcome home mister Pete Mitchell! It is a very nice night, no?” Slider says in a thick German accent. “Say, what made you come here? To my humble lab?”

“Sli, what the fuck?” Maverick laughs, dropping a bag of groceries on the floor. “You’re gonna be…what, German Dr. Strange this year?”

“Ow c’mon dickhead, don’t make me break a character!” Slider hisses as he flips up his goggles (all foggy and stained with some mysterious liquid and everything. Jesus, the details.). “Also yeah, this is me speaking like a true Kerner. Sue me.”

“It's kinda sexy, though. You talking like that.” Maverick places a chaste kiss on his cheek. “What's on your mind, Dr. Kerner?”

Alternatively: Sli is dominant and breedable and Mav is enjoying the every bit of the wild ride before Halloween. Featuring Slider’s sexy German accent and some good-ol’ clothed sex w/ ass eating because why not.

2. Slimav phone sex arch. This is inspired by none other than Tutti Frutti by New Order! basically Sli and Mav are in a long-distance relationship (I'm imagining Sli flying for Hawaiian Airlines after he retires from the Navy while Mav is in Nevada. This info may or may not be relevant to my current series.) and one day Mav has a bad day. A really bad day. But don’t you worry, Sli is here for help with his slutty voice and much more slutty act of service using his dildo. Set in the mid 00s. I mean…have you seen the pic of Rick talking on the phone in his tank top? Yeah.

3. Couch sex on a cold, snowy day. The central heating in Slider’s house breaks down and he has to flee to Mav’s tiny home. Two bros huddling for warmth kissing each other on the lips cause they are so gay. This could be either pre or during relationship but I’d like to imagine an accidental kiss and touching between two friends, or a still awkward sexual encounter between a fresh couple.

4. Slider w/ a fucking long tongue, pre-relationship. Having a long-ass tongue is all fun and games until you constantly bite your tongue while eating, speaking, and even sleeping. If Ice’s got a oral fixation involving his lips and teeth, Slider’s got a habit of playing with his tongue (biting, twisting, licking his lips, running his tongue on a fork, etc) and Maverick notices that. One day Sli’s showing off some cool tricks using his tongue and Mav’s like wow that’s kinda impressive bro bet the ladies are satisfied hehe and Sli’s like what ladies????? Oh you mean my ladies????? Sorry I don’t really go down like that. Spoiler alert; Sli’s got a great mouth for cockwarming/sucking and Mav’s about to fucking lose it in the bathroom stool of a bar. I can never get tired of Sli’s toothy wide grin guys, to the point of headcannoning the length of his tongue. Send help.

[cheemscakecat]

Missing in Action 3

Chapter 3: New Guy

The search for Spy continues, and the team discovers something very odd.

Contains angst, but not as much as the last chapters .

Sniper talked to Scout the next morning at breakfast. He had that numbness about him. The kind where you try not to care. He could tell Jeremy was miserable, but he also knew that Spy wasn’t being malicious.

In New Zealand, Spy watched Mundy’s biological father explain how he killed off the nation with his stupidity, ask him for money, and leave him to drown at the bottom of the ocean. And then, he got gunned down by Team Classic thinking his so-called dad was coming back. Yeah, it didn’t much surprise him that Spy’d pretended to be Tom Jones. He wanted to save Scout the disappointment of knowing his least favorite teammate was his father.

He was grateful that Spy didn’t name who knew the truth. Though, if Jeremy had put two and two together, he wasn’t lashing out. He’d heard about New Zealand. Sniper could tell he was trying not to talk about Spy around him.

“We’re gonna go on another search. Me and Engineer this time.” “Hmm.” Scout chewed his cereal with a dull look in his eyes. That was a bad sign. “You got good eyes pal. But I don’t think you’re gonna find him… He’s left us to go retire, I bet.” Mundy cut into his steak, gave himself time to choose the right words. “Maybe not, mate. We helped Pauling take ovah. Some people might not like that.” Scout blinked, not getting what he was tryin to say, so he continued.

”Spy isn’t the type to leave a trail when he disappears. He’dah taken his books and things if he was gonna leave for good.” Jeremy seemed to stop and think about that, which meant he was wording it right. He’d never been real great with words. Scout set down his spoon.

“I dunno. Ya think somethin happened?” “Well, those Teufort fools locked ya both up for 6 months. We checked theah the first time we searched.” Scout frowned and sighed. “Yeah, but I went there to get my stuff, and they were playing nice. Plus the road to Harvest Base is the other way, so he shouldn’t’a seen any of those goons.” That was true. But the lead-poisoned idiots in Teufort were occasionally smart enough to catch someone off guard. Just like they’d done to catch Scout and Spy in the first place. How long’d they know Jeremy was a mercenary, playin harmless until their trap was set?

It was worth a look, even if the chances were slim.

“Yer right. But there’s other mercenaries and bosses out theah that might wanna get Pauling n us. And truth be told, we don’t know a whole lot about Spy outside work. Like if he’s got old enemies.”

Didn’t know his name. His address. His real face. Honest to God, they had no idea how to track Spy right now. They knew he was on another RED team before he was moved to Fortress, and anyone who didn’t know his relation to Scout knew now. That, and he had a lady friend wearin blue. Civilian though, not enemy team. Them being seen together was the whole reason why Spy’s bedroom and other private spaces were hidden somewheah at each base. And none’a them had been told how to get in.

Spy might have left a clue somewheah in his rooms, but as long as they didn’t have access, those clues may as well not exist.

“Mmm. I’m hopin that’s not it. Pauling’s gotta be careful out there, too. But Spy’s a coward, Sniper. He runs away from problems like me. And he might just be the type to leave good stuff layin around to rot, with all that money he’s got. I still think he deserted.” It didn’t work. Jeremy still didn’t want to think that Spy could be kidnapped or dead. And calling himself a problem was no good either.

Mundy wished he was better at talking things out. He didn’t like to talk much if he could avoid it, so times like this were hard. Hopefully, someone else’d figure out how to reason with Scout.

————————-

Engineer drove the van. Normally Sniper would want to drive, but they needed his eyes focused on the land. There were old rock formations in the desert, and a whole lotta caves. Heck, Pauling hid her stash of corpses in one of them. If Spy somehow wasn’t kidnapped or dead, he’d be out heah. And if not, they might get a good clue.

Spy had a fancy red sports car. Bright red. If they were lucky, the kidnappers mighta stashed it in a cave on the way to Harvest. But it was expensive, and they were more likely to keep it for themselves or pawn it off. Mundy hoped he knew they were lookin. He’d been colder to everyone since that teleporter incident with the bread, n sometimes it was impossible to read him.

They’d got around halfway to Harvest when he asked Dell to stop the van. He’d spotted something. The cactuses. Someone’s been cutting into them for watah. And they were the kind where you could do it without gettin sick. They pulled up, him carrying his rifle and Dell carrying a building kit. Sniper examined the cactuses. They shore looked well cut, like Spy woulda done.

He followed the pattern of least to most cut up and looked for the nearest cave. Holding up a hand, Mundy called into the cave with his best “lost American tourist” voice while Dell set up a sentry gun. If it was some varmit kidnapper from BLU or an outside group, they’d be gunned down. And if it was Spy, he’d be unharmed.

Somewheah deep inside the cave, the black silhouette of a person poked their head out. “*****! Is that a gun?!” The guy sounded… kinda like Spy. But some voices tended to run together after fighting so many BLU mercs. “Come on out, Mate. We’re lookin for somebody. A friend. Ya seen a RED spy?” The shadowy figure eventually stuck out his non-dominant hand, which wasn’t gunned into mincemeat; then hugged the wall of the cave and inched closer. After what felt like forever, he stepped out into the light.

Mundy blinked in surprise.

“Bloody Hell…”

—————-

Sniper and Engineer came back early from their trip, claimin they found something. Well, someone. But it wasn’t Spy. At least not theirs.

We found a RED whippersnapper in the caves.” Dell explained. “Nother spy, but he’s way too young to be ours.” “Yeh can come out now, mate.” Sniper was calling someone from deeper inside his van. Scout watched closely. All of the team did.

Someone -around Jeremy’s age maybe- stepped out of the van and adjusted his eyes to the light. He was the same height as Spy, but wearin very different clothes. He had a dark grey dress shirt rolled up to the elbows, with red buttons. He wore near black leather gloves with real vis-able red stitch lines. His pants were a darker red and his shoes matched his gloves. But most importantly, he wore no mask. They could actually see his face.

New Spy had long, near black hair that made Soldier mutter some crap about hippies. He had the same nose as their old spy, as far as anyone could tell. No one had ever seen him maskless. Scout couldn’t help but like this new guy. He didn’t have that ugly 5-o’clock shadow or stuck up look in his eyes. And he got the feelin he was a lot more fun. Most spies on RED and BLU stayed all covered up in the desert heat; suits, trench-coats, sweaters. Not to mention those ugly, smelly masks!

Everyone took in the new guy’s looks without commentin. Jeremy sure didn’t know what to say. The stranger awkwardly shuffled his weight from his toes to his heels like he didn’t know either. Heavy lumbered forward and they all decided to watch n follow his lead. To an outsider, Heavy was a scary brute; fat, but the muscular kind’a fat where he could clobber you in one punch. He was also the tallest on the team.

“So.” He said in his usual gruff voice. “You have found new spy?” Engineer and Sniper nodded at him. But he looked like he was still thinking it over. “Did you check him for disguise? Is not BLU sneaking in?” Sniper shuffled and pushed his hat up, so Heavy could see his face better. “The sentry gun didn’t get him, and we poked him since then. We think he’s telling the truth.” Heavy turned back towards the new guy, who was looking more shy than scared.

“Vhy vere you in desert alone? Vhere is your team?” The spy frowned. “I was getting relocated to a new team. I’d been on Team Malum, and was on my way to Team Frigidus.” The new guy was also French! But his accent was way thicker than that stuck up deadbeat. It was kinda hard to understand him, so Scout put more effort into listening. Heavy looked at Engineer.

“I recognize this Frigidus name. But who is Malum Team?” Engie shrugged and looked at the others. “Any of y’all heard’ a Team Malum?”

Everyone stayed still, shook their head, or shrugged. Jeremy didn’t know all the other RED team names in the United States, much less the rest’a the world. He didn’t know how Pauling was gonna manage them all, plus BLU. Had to be exhaustin. The new guy did not E-lab-or-ate. Hold on, was he.. biting his lip? “Hmm. How vere you to get to Frigidus Team?” Heavy asked.

Spy frowned real hard, like he was thinking. Maybe he was a liar, worried cause they didn’t know Malum. “I was riding in.. in a hell-something. I do not remember the name.” “Hell-E-cop-ter?” Scout asked. The Spy’s eyes lit up and he snap-pointed in excitement. “Yes! Zhey called it helicopter.” He paused, the excitement dulling down quick. “I was ze only mercenary being moved, so zhey wanted smaller transport.”

“So you hadn’t been’n’a helicopter b’fore? Demoman asked. “No. I have ridden airplanes though! Helicopter is noisier and shakes often…” Heavy and Demoman were lookin at each other like they were discussin it all. “How did you go from helicopter to desert land?” Spy shrugged. “Something bright hit us. Like a lightening bolt. One minute I was in my chair, and then I woke up alone in ze desert.” “And ya didn’t see any wreckage? No pieces of the helicopter?” Engineer asked. “Well, I am not certain. On one of ze… ze high parts of the desert, I could see a shine. But it was too high, so I could not see for sure.”

A bunch’a people looked at each other and had a real long con-verse- A-tion with their eyes. Scout was disappointed that he wasn’t speaking their language. Heavy leaned back and nodded once. “The Administrator is very busy now. It vill take time to look up Frigidus and send you there.” Medic jabbed Jeremy in the back, which just confused him. Then he jerked his head towards the spy, tellin him to get over there. “Our team Spy is missing. Ve do not know yet vhat vill happen, but his room is free. Scout? Take stranger to Smoking Room.”

[warrior-cats-rewritten]

🐈

(btw I love your rewrite it's so cool :3)

Thank you so much! Your cat is... Heatherwish!

Heatherwish is Longtail's sister, born of Patchpelt and Bluebellfur, and mates with Dappletail's son, Cricketfang.

Heatherwish is a pale tabby molly with blue eyes, black legs, black ears, a black tail, and distinctive black markings.

She is one of the minor characters shown in Canon!Into The Wild, and has her own sprite!

She is now the mother of Brackenfur and Cinderpelt. As far as political spectrum goes, she's softer than Goldenflower, but harder than Brindleface, her 2 goods friends. Mid-soft Codeist. She was kind to Fireheart but also agreed he shouldn't have become deputy. Bit young, bit inexperienced, and also because that was a lot of pressure and attention on said young cat.

Political spectrum of the Gen 1 Queens:

Brindleface > Heatherwish > Frostfur > Willowpelt > Goldenflower > Speckletail > Grayflower

A kind-hearted lady of War. She was ready to slaughter cats when her babies were kidnapped by one of Brokenstar's lackeys. Cricketfang stayed behind as a nursery guard, but Heatherwish joined the patrol that would get the stolen kittens back.

She was very protective over Cinderpaw after the accident, though not the way Fireheart is. Her main worry is that Cinderpaw is going to get infected, or that she will feel worthless next to her gifted brother Brackenpaw, or that whatever happened could happen again if Cinderpaw does get back out there. She is supportive when her daughter wants to become a Medicine Cat, and this actually causes a tiny chain of events that makes Fireheart re-evaluate his internal biases.

He couldn't understand at first why Heatherwish and Cricketfang were so happy for Cinderpaw, and when he said it to Yellowfang, she finally snapped him out of it. Heatherwish was happy that her daughter was alive. Happy that her daughter discovered something she liked. Her warrior status didn't mean a thing to Heatherwish, her baby was happy and that was enough.

Heatherwish's best subject growing up was battle training, but her worst was history. Girl could tell you battle tactics to absolutely destroy your enemies but she could not tell you a thing about the founding of her Clan. You're better off going to Longtail. Regardless, she graduated MUCH faster than Longtail did, as she took up Queen Studies to become a Semi-Permanent Queen, and Longtail/Longpaw REALLY struggled with hunting.

Speaking of, she is incredibly close with her brother, Longtail, and when Tigerclaw got himself exiled and his apprentice/daughter was transferred to her, she was over the moon! She taught Lynxpaw everything she could.

She grew very close with her apprentice, and was always reporting her good progress to Goldenflower.

She also recommended Lynxpaw's warrior name, Lynxpetal, to Fireheart, which he kept in mind when he finally gave Lynxpaw her long-awaited name.

She cheers when Longtail is made deputy, and in Graystripe's Clan (Then) is one of the cats against Graystripe becoming deputy. When Graystripe does a little digging, he finds that it isn't out of dislike for him, but because him becoming deputy was "the one good thing that came out of this mess."

A lot of bad things happened to Hearherwish throughout TPB. Patchpelt had died. Cinderpelt's accident had been terrifying. She lost her friend Brindleface.

Cricketfang had been killed in the Battle of Bloodclan.

She wasn't angry with Graystripe. She was angry with the world that had now blinded her brother.

She almost retires, during Graystripe's Clan (Then). But in the end, decides against it. Longtail however, expresses a desire to go into the Elder's den. He's too tired to keep going. He can still fight and hunt, but everything he has been through in his life has been a bit too much for him. She relents, and he goes on to enjoy a nice early retirement.

After that, the spark in Heatherwish never fully comes back. She is still the kindhearted fighter she was, but you can tell she's missing something.

Of course, she makes the journey to the Lake just fine, helping out Cinderpelt whenever she needs it, as Brambleclaw is helping Longtail the most. Sometimes it's as simple as carrying Cinderpelt's herb satchel, sometimes her daughter needs to lean on her for support just to get through some of the terrain.

She fights valiantly when a badger charges into camp, followed by a Herd of Boars, but sadly, in the same battle that claims Cinderpelt, Heatherwish is also taken. She dies fighting beside Brackenfur, protecting her son from a boar's awful tusks