#to anyone else. roxas probably is just sora's nobody.
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I think if I said who my favorite characters in media were, it wouldn't surprise anyone here. Instead it'd be like that explains so fucking much while saying nothing. So fuck it.
A list of favorite characters from every hyper fixation I've ever had.
YuYu Hakusho (I would recommend both the manga and anime bpth are very good times.)
Yusuke Urameshi Keiko Yukimura Kazuma Kuwabara (I love Kuwabara he's great- He's amazing good guy.).
Since we're on Yoshiro Togashi's work anyway-
Hunter x Hunter
Killua Zoldyck Leorio Paladiknight Knuckle Bine
Detective Conan
Shinichi Kudo (I too am irresponsible and full of hubris I would have followed that criminal too at his age.) Ran Mori Heiji Hattori
Shaman King
Yoh Hao Asakura
It's equal but I lean more favorably towards Yoh. Favorite Yu-gi-oh series and protagonist
Yu-Gi-Oh GX
Judai Yuki (I don't think this says anything. I'm just correct, actually.)
Bleach
Orihime Inoue (Always forever sweet lady amazing girl.) Captain Unohana Oldman Yamamoto Toshiro Hitsugaya Kenpachi and Ichigo (I like them both to about the same degree.)
Naruto
Naruto Hinata Neji Shikamaru Sakura Ino Tamari
Oh, wait Akamaru. Yep that's every- oh and Shino! Wait and Choji. Probably Tamari's entire team, too, and can't forget Neji. In fact there we go he's up where he belongs. Naruto has a huge fucking cast. Most of them are interesting chaaracters. Bleach has a fucking huge cast as well.
Code Geass
Lelouch Euphemia Suzaku Akito from Akito the exiled (this is also correct).
Boruto
I'm committed to what I like-
Boruto Shikadai Chocho (this is just correct too actually I don't look in this fandom so fuck it I make this rule now) Himawari Inojin.
One Punch Man
Garo (I said he could beat Saitama in the manga and my nephews made fun of me because he's never won anywhere else. But that shit was a fight in the manga instead of a one hit out.) Metal Bat (I have a character type leave me alone. Yes, I recognize having Kuwabara, Knuckle Brine, and then him here sets a pattern. But I'd argue it's a good one.)
Chainsaw Man
Denji Makima Nayuta Kobeni Asa
Pandora Hearts
Oswald Gilbert Oz Elliot Marie Ada Sharron Lily
Spiral: The Bonds of Reasoning (Spiral Suri no Kizuna)(read this in middle school sooo this is going off memory.)
Ayumu Narumi Hizumi Mizushiro
Nabari No Ou (read this in middle school sooo this is going off memory.)
Tobari Kazuhiko Miharu Yoite Kouichi
Kagerou Days
Shintaro Ayano Seto Konoha Hibiya
Kingdom Hearts
Terra Roxas Axel (Lea) Xion Vanitas Ventus Xemnas (Look my first game was days and he was a decent boss). Larxene Sora
Oshi No Ko
Aqua Hoshino Akane Kurokawa Taiki Himekawa Kana Arima Frill Shiranui Shun Yoshizumi
Batman comics and animated series
Harley Quinn (since batman the animated series) Damian Wayne (since Son of Batman movie) Bruce Wayne (Yes, Bruce is below his son. I'm not sorry.) Poison Ivy (since Batman the animated series.).
Spider-man
Peter Parker Mile's Morales (from the films).
Calvin and Hobbes
It was the first thing I enjoyed reading. I don't think I have to explain this but I liked everyone that appeared frequently in this.
Deadpool (mostly due to the Spider-man team up comics and the movies.)
W.I.T.C.H
Irma Hay Lin Will Taranee Cornelia Elyon
Totally Spies
Alex Clover Sam
Martin Mystery (A show nobody knows)
Martin
Invader Zim
Dib Gaz Tak
Gravity Falls
Dipper Pines Pacifica Mabel Stanley
I was typing this up during that whole other thing people may have seen. I don't know what this list can tell anyone about me. It is funny to go over for me personally because a lot of the characterization stuff I like from Milgram can be found in most of these series. Which is proably why I have trouble actually picking favorites in regards to Milgram since all of the characters have traits I enjoy.
But yeah that's a little bit about me I guess. I do enjoy a lot of the characterization I see in Milgram. This is much more casual and generally being written up to give some idea of my likes. Though most of these are good watches, reads, or plays. Most are pretty well known but I would recommend Spiral since it's not that talked about in general.
Well, that's it.
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Rewriting Keyblades
OK, full disclaimer here: I like Kingdom Hearts. I honestly, really do. The series is infamously complicated and confusing, and the rules for how the world functions seem to amount to "whatever Nomura and his team think would be cool at the time."
In spite of that, there's really not much about the story I would ultimately change in the grand scheme of things. If anything I would probably have just made all the important details easier to digest without having to read through tons of optional data reports found throughout the games and the myriad of releases/remasters.
That said, if there is ONE aspect of Kingdom Hearts I would make changes to, it's the Keyblades. For how important they are in the series, the rules for how these things work are by far the most confusing and inconsistent. KH1 presents the Keyblade as this special, one-of-a-kind weapon that only a "chosen one" can wield, and now everyone and their grandmas can use a Keyblade.
That part doesn't particularly bug me, but the details for how and why Keyblades are even formed and who can get one has never been clear-cut. The first Keyblades were apparently made by the Master of Masters, who "extracted them from the hearts of his apprentices," and then other people learned how to just make their own, I guess? (I dunno, I never actually played UnionX, so I can only go off of what's on the wiki.)
Sometimes Keyblades can be passed down, some are created from one's own heart, and some are created by attaching a keychain to an existing Keyblade. Some have the power to transform into other weapons, and others come equipped with unique properties like the ability to see into the future. Apparently there are also "counterpart" Keyblades in the Realms of Darkness and Light, however that works.
Needless to say, it's a lot. So... Yeah, I decided to try my hand at streamlining this mess just a bit. Without further ado, let's get into it.
The first known Keyblade was the Clavis Ferrum (because let's face it, the χ-blade was always a dumb name), said to be formed from the heart of all worlds: Kingdom Hearts. The Clavis Ferrum boasted power beyond measure, but its true potential could only be unlocked when it was exposed to abundant Light and Darkness in equal measure.
Long ago, the scholars of Scala ad Caelum found and studied the Clavis Ferrum. From this, they learned how to harness the power of hearts to create replicas, which they called Keyblades.
There are two types of Keyblades: Soul Keyblades and World Keyblades.
Soul Keyblades are formed from the heart of an individual, and their strength is reflective of the person they are born from. Soul Keyblades are usually bound to their wielder, but can be passed on to someone else if the original wielder and the receiver both consent to this. It is also possible for a person to form a new Keyblade, often represented by a change in their heart.
World Keyblades are formed from the hearts of worlds, not unlike how the Clavis Ferrum spawned from the heart of existence itself. These Keyblades can theoretically be wielded by anyone, but only if they have come into contact with that world's Keyhole.
Regardless of type, Keyblades boast a variety of abilities relating to the hearts of both individuals and worlds. They can separate hearts from bodies, separate light from darkness and vice-versa, and even awaken slumbering hearts.
List of Notable Keyblades
Kingdom Key Originally formed from the heart of King Mickey, it was sent to Destiny Island in a desperate bid by the king to stop the world from succumbing to darkness. He originally intended the blade to go to Riku, but it wound up in the hands of Sora instead. Eventually, it becomes Sora's default Keyblade.
Roxas temporarily inherits the Kingdom Key as Sora's nobody, but can no longer wield it once Sora awakens.
Kingdom Key D A distorted replica of the Kingdom Key wielded by Xion. Though not as powerful as the original, it still has the power to release hearts, as per the Organization's goal.
Keyblade of Hearts An artificial Keyblade formed by forcefully combining the power of several hearts in a taboo ritual performed by Ansem. It has the power to force open a rift to Kingdom Hearts, but not unleash its full power.
Way to the Dawn A Keyblade formed from Riku's heart while he struggles to content with the light and darkness inside of him. It is later passed on to Riku Replica.
Destiny's Embrace A Keyblade formed by Kairi in her desperation to save Sora. She first summons it to cut through the Heartless attacking him, though her technique is somewhat lacking. Kairi spends a great deal of time training under Yen Sid to master the weapon, so that she can contribute to the final battle against Xehanort. Yes I am salty about the series refusing to let Kairi have any agency until the KH3 DLC how could you tell?
Oathkeeper and Oblivion Keyblades formed from Sora's heart, representing his connections to Kairi and Riku. Roxas acquires them after leaving Organization XIII, and they are later passed on to him full with Sora's blessing.
Braveheart A Keyblade formed by Riku's heart after he finally reconciles the light and darkness within. This weapon represents Riku's willingness to accept himself completely, even the parts he was once ashamed of.
Flame Liberator Lea's Keyblade, awakened from his fiery resolve to save Roxas and not just unceremoniously summoned out of nowhere at the last minute in Dream Drop Distance. Has the unique ability to turn into chakrams.
Event Horizon A Keyblade created by Xion after her resurrection. Representing her full awakening to personhood, it is the culmination of her heart's desire escape from the eternal twilight that bound it. (Credit for the idea comes from this Reddit post.)
Earthshaker/Ends of the Earth A Keyblade formed from Terra's heart. Its form changes and undergoes a sort of evolution when Terra resolves to protect his friends above all else. It has the ability to transform into a deadly whip.
Rainfell/Stormfall A keyblade formed from Aqua's heart. Its form changes and undergoes a sort of evolution when she learns to look beyond her duties as a Keyblade Master. It wound up in Xemnas's possession when Aqua fell to the Realm of Darkness, but he could not properly wield it since it hadn't been Bequeathed.
Wayward Wind/Lost Memory A Keyblade formed from Ventus's heart. Its initial form represents Ventus's lacking memories, leaving him confused and seeking direction. It undergoes a sort of transformation when he recalls his missing past as Xehanort's apprentice.
Star Cluster Yen Sid's original Keyblade, passed on to Mickey after Yen Sid doffed the mantle of Keyblade Master. It becomes Mickey's default Keyblade going forward, since his Kingdom Key is now Sora's.
Master's Defender An ancient Keyblade passed down across many generations. Most prominently used by Master Eraquas, who never awakened a Keyblade from his own heart.
No Name Xehanort's original Keyblade, forged from his own heart when he was an apprentice. This Keyblade represents Xehanort's unique talent at chronomancy, though is ultimately abandoned in later years for favor of an inherited Keyblade.
The Gazing Eye The very first Keyblade ever formed by the Master of Masters, passed down to many wielders across many generations. This becomes Xehanort's main Keyblade throughout the series.
Ultima Weapon A Keyblade crafted in an attempt to recreate the Clavis Ferrum. Though ultimately an imperfect imitation, its power still far exceeds most ordinary Keyblades. Legends say that it manifests to those who overcome the most grueling of trials, and its form is ever-changing to represent the Ultima Weapon's unstable nature.
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ik its been a while since I've posted anything. that's my fault I get distracted easily and forget things. recently I've been feeling insanely misunderstood. it's become a craving to have someone understand me. to hear what I say and know what it means without me having to explain it 12 different ways. I'm not good with words. I have a good vocabulary I'm just not good at picking them. maybe the words for what I feel don't exist yet. I wish we lived in a world where neurodivergency wasnt looked at as a disability but just a difference.
idk. everything in life seems cater to people who arent like me. idk if there is rlly anyone like me. I don't relate to anyone that much. no one's into the same things as I am. and if they are its never as much as I am. no one goes through the kind of problems I go through. not because I'm going through something unimaginably bad. it's just so unique and I've never even heard of anyone dealing with these issues the same way I am. maybe I'm just treating my limited knowledge of things people feel as absolute fact. there's probably someone on here rn feeling the same way I do and talking about it. we both just don't know it. and we'll probably never meet.
idk I just hate being the way I am. if I could be like everyone else I would do it. even though I love being different a lot of the time I realize the more unique you are the less people understand you. I relate to gojo bc of this. not bc I'm so far above ppl that I can't relate to them and they can't relate to me. it's not like that at all. it's just that need to be understood for who I am not for what people think about me.
it makes me reconsider the idea of trophaeum. if I reach this pinnacle that won't make other people understand me. my inner balance won't change that no one gets what I'm saying and I can't express my thoughts in words because the words I need don't exist. all I can do is get progressively more frustrated with the people around me until I do something destructive. I think my dog understands me. he empathizes with me more than people do. I love him he's my best friend. it just sucks because I know he's not going to be around forever. it's like being a parent who outlives their kid. its a sad thought. that the life you raised from such a small age doesn't get to succeed you and carry on into it's own.
I've been thinking about death a lot recently. the idea becomes more appealing over time. maybe I've already lost my mind. I thought I was losing it earlier but maybe I'm already gone. sometimes I feel like a husk. like a nobody. I always really enjoyed roxas' character even though I've never played 358/2 days of kh2. I watch plot synopsis' and playthroughs though. he's such a complex character in comparison to others like sora. his fight for individuality is really moving.
back to being understood and understanding others I think about the human instrumentality project a lot. I realized that I couldn't understand shinjis actions for a lot of evangelion because not only am I not in that situation but I'm also not him. my brain isn't the same. the way we process different events is completely different. and that's why it's basically impossible for people to understand eachother. unless you find someone who's just like you. which is highly unlikely. but that's what the project is for. the third impact. the merger of all humans into one collective consciousness seems like the only way for people to understand eachother. but at the same time I think things like bigotry and the lack of value placed in empathy is what's really causing this. maybe we can't understand eachother because we don't live in a world that promotes understanding. if you're not like everyone else you're seen as a failure. a waste. someone who's not even worth the air they breathe everyday much less all the resources they take up by existing. I guess all problems do source back to supremacy and capitalism. but what can I do about it. propaganda has shut down most talk of anti capitalism and whenever the idea gains popularity the people speaking about it get assassinated so there's no chance for any sort of success. maybe this world just wasn't meant for people like me. and that just makes the idea of death that much more enticing. but ig I can ride this life out for at least a little bit longer. just to see what happens.
#neurodivergent#vent post#tw vent#neon genesis evangelion#nge#evangelion#eva#kingdom hearts#philosophy#trophaeum#life#death#existential thoughts#:p
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There’s a lot I could say about this, about Sora struggling to stay optimistic. I’ve pointed out some specific moments in this game where it’s obvious he’s swallowing down grief and rage and doubt around his friends to plaster a smile on his face. I’m guessing (in addition, obviously, to dying, becoming a Heartless, and then somehow holding on to his feelings as a Heartless) that his bottled up negativity is connected to the sporadic appearances of Anti-Form, intense bursts of Darkness that consume Sora without warning, reducing him to a feral Heartless-like state with no access to the Keyblade for a few moments. I like to look for metaphors in KH, and irl this would probably translate to emotional outbursts, mood swings, etc… Sora has some moments of intense anger and intense sadness in KH2, but they’re not exactly unwarranted.
Something that stands out to me is the lack of sympathy Sora displays towards the Nobodies. After Axel’s sacrifice, even after battling Roxas and discovering Roxas is his Nobody, Sora really doesn’t… see them as people. Sora tells Xemnas that his sorrow is bs because Nobodies can’t feel. “Just give it a rest! You’re nobodies! You don’t even exist! You’re not sad about anything!” He doesn’t really entertain the possibility that they can, which I find surprisingly callous. Heart or not, Nobodies have wants and cares like everyone else. Tron doesn’t have a Heart nor is he human, but he cares. He’s a friend. Barring Axel (sort of), Sora doesn’t extend this same thinking towards any of the Organization members. Which, hey, completely understandable given everything they have put him and his friends through; it’d be difficult not to harbor any hatred. Plus, Sora makes it rather clear at the start of this game that he’s had enough. He wants to find his friends and go home. He’s really not in the mood to do this all again, let alone try to talk down any bad guys. So, I get it. But compassion is kinda supposed to be Sora’s Thing. He pretty mercilessly strikes these guys down, and he’s pretty satisfied doing it. “Anyone from the Organization who wants to be next?!” And you know… it’s much easier to kill people if you convince yourself they are not people.
All of that said… did anyone else feel like Sora was going to elaborate here before Riku fell behind him? Did anyone else feel like he was about to open up a little to Riku? Because I did. For a split-second I was so excited, and then Riku fell and Sora’s concern turned back to him.
#kingdom hearts#Sora#sorry for making long posts abt kh. it will happen again#the end of this game is so tragic for the nobodies#and man i really thought sora was gonna talk to riku here#if anyone can understand it’s riku#methinks the ‘darkness getting to sora’ has something to do with the portal to the dark realm that appears
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KH 2 Playthrough pt2:
UGH nvm it’s not the scene. I have to fight Xigbar😔.
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Oh my gosh do I HATE fighting Xigbar. Just disappearing and stuff and like fricking shooting me. Gosh his finish move almost killed me, but thankfully I have the “At least 1 HP is left after a combo,” thing on bc if not I would’ve died.
I died once and I’m so glad I beat him the second time-
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THE SCENE!! IM AT THE SCENE😭😭.
Riku just leaving and Sora stopping him to say thanks….I bet it really hurt him-
AND THEN KAIRI REVEALING TO SORA THAT IT’S RIKU IN FRONT OF HIM!!
And then he falls to his knees and cries while holding Riku’s hand😭😭😭. Y’all I love this and I can’t wait to see Riku turn back into himself and be able to fight with him hnnng-
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Leveling up and stuff and I just remembered the “Final Form” exits for our drive gauge, and I finally got it because I don’t think I ever got it but I’m excited now :))). Gotta level this one up and master up too. I need those jumps so I can get all of my beloved puzzle pieces and beat the game-
I mainly got it by going to Olympus and doing the Cerberus cup (even if I already beat it)
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Leveled up my master form too and hehe I’m excited to beat the game again >:))).
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UGHH!! The card guy made me mad but I beat him on the first try >:)). But ALSO! I talked to Riku and he said,
“Humph. Not bad, Sora. You’ve grown stronger. You don’t need my weapon, Soul Eater, or the power of the dark yet.”
Jokes on him bc Sora already has some dark power within him
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Fighting Siax now and whenever he starts his little dusk attack, Riku grabs Kairi and covers her with him and they get pushed back. I bet they’re worried for Sora, but I found that moment between them so sweet🥺.
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The flashback of Riku looking at Roxas collapsed on the ground in TWTNW is showing after I beat Saix. I see Riku walk up to him and he has the keyblade up in his hand, position to be thrown down onto Roxas. Idk if it was truly meant to hit him, but we see Riku hesitate and throw it to the ground beside him. Ik its probably nothing but my mind was like
“Riku never truly wanted to hurt Roxas, but he wanted Sora to wake up, so he had to hurt him and use the darkness. But when it came to actually hurting him in this way, he couldn’t bring himself to do it. A part of Sora was in there and he couldn’t imagine hurting him anymore, and he didn’t want to hurt anyone any more.”
And then when it’s clear that he truly is Sora’s nobody, Riku gives into the dark just to wake sORA UP AAAAAH-
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“I have accepted it.”
DiZ shows up and Riku puts his hood on to avoid his gaze😭. He didn’t want anyone to look at him while he was this way-
“DiZ, he told me he could feel Sora.” (Riku)
“Oh, he told you how he “felt”, did he?” (DiZ)
“Ridiculous. A nobody cannot feel anything. If he had met Sora, things might have been different.”
AND THEN THE FLASHBACK ENDS AND RIKU’S LIKE, “Maybe I didn’t need to fight him after all. I think he left the organization because…he really wanted to meet you.”
Y’all I’m emotional over everything related to Roxas and Sora😭.
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NOOO.
“I wish I could meet him, too.” (Sora)
HNNNG SORAAAA!!! The poor boy is going through so many emotions.
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“The path is open. Demand is waiting up ahead. He’s the leader of Organizatjon XIII. Try not to slow me down, Sora.”
You know he’s been WAITING to say that little dig, even if he truly would do anything to help Sora-
Like tag a lightsaber hit to the side to stop it from killing Sora😭.
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“All my research amounted to nothing, compared with that one boy’s heart.” (DiZ about Sora)
YES OUR ONE BOY IS VERY SPECIAL AND AMAZING😭💙.
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DiZ admitting his ignorance is so good hnnng. I’m lost on the lore, but I love it when people admit they’re wrong and I love him roasting Xemnas.
ALSO! When the thing explodes, Riku dashes to everyone else and holds them back to protect them. Especially Sora. Sora runs to try to go to DiZ to help him or do something, but Riku stops him and GOSH I LOVE RIKU!!!
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“And just who were you trying to fool? Huh? Huhhh?” (Sora to Riku)
“Myself.” (Riku)
Y’all I’m losing it😭😭😭. And the way Sora looks so sad immediately after that.
“C’mon, man! Why did you try to do so much on your own? You got friends…like us!” And everyone smiles to him and it’s all so sweet because Sora is reminding Riku of his friends and how he is cared for-
And then Riku replies, “Have you forgotten? I’ll tell you why. ‘Cause I’m not a total sap like you.”
He just had to make a joke and slightly ruin the sweet moment😂.
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Sora seeing the heartless problem and immediately going, “What do we do, Riku?”
He has someone else to rely on now, and doesn’t have to only think by himself and he’s getting someone else’s opinion and plan….I love our boy😭.
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Okay that’s enough for one post so✌️.
#me playing kingdom hearts#me playing games#gosh I just LOVE TWTNW (The World that Never Was) bc of all the sad content#it’s wholesome but sad at the same time.
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I have a hypothesis that, if given the opportunity Vanitas and Roxas would be very good friends.
(This is a bit of a mess but bear with me)
Vanitas and Roxas could actually be very good friends. Let’s start with their similarities. Vanitas and Roxas have a similar past and origin; Vanitas was born with the looks of someone else as wel as the other half of another, Roxas was born with the looks of someone else as well will one as the half of another. Though with Vanitas and Ventus it was much more literal, Roxas was also a being of darkness who was ripped from a being more aligned with light. And yet despite this, despite being a piece of something whole, he was able to become his own person. His foundations weren’t his own but what he created with them after the fact was.
Vanitas did the same thing, only instead of rebellion as Roxas did, he did it for self preservation and out of fear of losing himself. The part of Vanitas that still clings so heavily to Ventus and wants to put the two of them back together is Ventus, it’s the piece of Vanitas that originally belongs to Ventus, but the darkness hated that, saw it as weak, and that feeling became so strong that he was able to turn from “Ventus’ darkness” (or the literal manifestations of Ventus’ greatest fears and insecurities and the matter) into his own entire being.
And yet that piece of him that still thinks of itself as Ventus calls to be rejoined with its whole. If Vanitas gets a character arc, it will have to be of him working to let go of his tie to Ventus and embrace himself as his own person because though he “hates” to be compared to Ventus and swears up and down they’re nothing alike, he is the one who compares himself to Ventus and the one who wants himself and Ventus to be the same the most. (Repliku[s] could have a similar arc as well)
Anyway, off topic Vanitas rant but it relates. Because Vanitas has all this inner turmoil about personality and identity, I think this is why he’d respect Roxas and eventually be his friend. Roxas did all of that discover of personal identity and all the pain that came with it, and yet he came out mostly fine. He came out as his own person and he didn’t let anyone stop him from getting to that point. It’s an echo of Sora’s self confidence when it comes to following his heart while Vanitas is an echo of Ventus’ low self esteem (though Sora has his own self esteem issues, when it comes to listening to his heart he never hesitates, wavers, or doubts himself in that regard.) Vanitas doesn’t think he’s able to be his own person and be satisfied with that because he both does and doesn’t want to be his own person; his light wants to return to Ventus and his dark, which is reinforced by the light, wants to be as far away from him as possible. The concept of Nobodies is interesting but especially when applying it to characters who are supposed to be so happy and carefree, though Vanitas and Roxas are their own people, they have to accept that they also did originally come from someone else before being their own person, and because they come from someone else they’re echos of the deepest parts of Ventus’ and Sora’s inner thoughts and darkness. Sora and Ventus literally genetically passed on their trauma and mental health problems to Vanitas and Roxas and Vani and Roxy are simply their “product” with all their issues lmao.
But yes, because Vanitas has such low self esteem and because Roxas is confident, I think Vanitas would end up being Roxas’ friend and respecting him.
(Also side note but I think that Roxas would probably have the best self esteem among the sortas besides Xion because they fought to have an identity, while the others instead fought to cling to a previous identity they had and were terrified to lose hold of it and become it meant they would lose their old self and become something new and none of them were ready for that, Sora included. Ranking wise from highest to lowest of self esteem is probably Xion, Roxas, Ventus-Sora could go either way, Vanitas, and Naminé but that’s another conversation for another day)
And I think it would be reciprocated on Roxas’ side too. Roxas, having come from Sora, has had experience with friends who don’t have high self esteem as well. I don’t know how aware Sora was of this as a kid, but his body would remember and recognize the signs and that could pass on to Roxas. It’s why he was so startled and confused over Axel and Xion doing things they know they are bad, because it reminds Roxas of Riku and the Sora part of him panicked and wanted anything to stop one of the worst things that ever happened to trio trio to happen again, but Roxas gets put through the wringer and something like it happens anyway. Only instead of sadness, he’s angry over what happened and feels like it was an injustice and wants to find someone to blame. (With Sora, I think he was just sad because he knows Riku was to some extent at fault and doesn’t want to blame his friend for doing something so awful because it’s hard to think about but who knows)
So, thinking about this, I think Roxas would see remnants (pun intended) of displays of behavior that he recognized before in others, and even in himself, in Vanitas and not pity him but empathize with him and want to help him, because Roxas was fortunate to have a friend when he needed it and that’s what helped him become his own person. Without Xion and Axel, he would’ve been just another puppet for Xehanort’s game. He needed to become his own person and he could only do that with friends, which effectively reiterates the message of Kingdom Hearts that “connections of the heart are extremely important” and “your friends are you power (i. e. strength)
So yes, I think Vanitas and Roxas are who emo boys who would understand each other in some twisted up way and get along well.
Also, obviously above all else Sora would choose Roxas between all his heart mates because he is the closest to Sora because he much more than the other effectively is Sora and Sora feels that kinship with him, but I would also like to propose that if he had to choose between Ventus or Vanitas Sora would choose Vanitas because he actually identifies with darkness much more strongly than light and would find Vanitas more relatable than Ventus because even if he doesn’t act on his darkness, Sora has a lot of darkness sitting in the depths of his heart and thinks very poorly of himself (either because of the darkness or he accidentally gives it to himself because he has low self esteem). It’s why he gradually floats towards characters aligned with darkness (Roxas, Riku, Axel) and seems much more comfortable in places/with people closely tied to darkness than to light, because he unconsciously aligns himself with it while also thinking he’s not good enough to be light. I think Sora to some extent feels like a fraud and that he is not actually as pure light as everyone thinks he is or wants him to be and that scares him but because he is a people pleaser he keeps it to himself and that only makes the situation worse and rinse and repeat.
So yes. Vanitas and Roxas would be friends and they would also be friends with Sora, please give me Sora Vanitas Roxas friendship the potential is great and they would have such a compelling story and dynamic if it saw fruition so please let it happen nomura thank you
#character study#character analysis#kh roxas#sora kh#vanitas kh#ventus kh#kingdom hearts#og#sora is supposed to be the balance but no one ever /taught/ him how to balance it so he unconsciously strays towards darkness#in a way he’s being taunted but he’s literally too stubborn to let it happen like he’s the ONLY PERSON who has both himself and his nobody#as two different people AND he can turn into a heartless or human at will and always come back???#he’s much more powerful and deep than people get him credit for but ofc it’s all subtext and SE’s fault smh#theories
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A Beautiful Future: A Premonition or a Punishment? (SoKai Week 2021)
Greetings readers and fellow SoKai fans! It is I, the Mad Doctor, participating in SoKai Week for the second year running. This year, I have a special multichapter story that will be posted throughout the week. It’s going to be quite an emotional rollercoaster that I hope you all enjoy!
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Chapter 1: Two Hearts Become One
Radiant Garden
Dressed in an elegant white suit with golden highlights, Sora gazed over Mickey’s head at the long aisle ahead of him. It was going to be quite a walk. But it was going to be one worth taking given what was going to happen at the end.
Just then, music filled the air and Mickey began his walk. Once the mouse king was far enough ahead, Sora followed after him. ‘Okay. Here it goes. No pressure. It’s only the happiest day of Kairi’s and my life.’
As he walked, Sora took in his surroundings and marveled at how different the setting was from when, on occasion, he would picture his wedding day. ‘If the Keyblade had never come to me and I had never got caught up in my adventures, we probably would’ve been getting married in a simple beachside ceremony on the Islands with just family and friends from there. I never thought it would be in another world. Especially in front of a crowd like this.’
The Radiant Garden chapel that the ceremony was taking place in was indeed far from a beach setting. It had needed to be magically expanded to accommodate all the various friends from around the worlds that he made on his many adventures. There was even a giant screen hovering up front in the air so the guests could see the altar no matter where they were in the chapel.
There had probably never been such a gathering of guests in the entire history of the worlds. It was composed of various humans, animals (both regular and anthropomorphic), monsters, magical beings, artificial constructs and other kinds. And all of them looked incredibly happy to be there to witness this happy occasion.
Hercules pumped his fist. Rapunzel’s eyes were wet with happy tears. Stitch shot him one of his toothiest smiles. Jack Sparrow gave a salute.
Sora smiled at all of them as he passed by. ‘We may be shattering the World Order to bits for this wedding. But I’m so glad they could all be here today. Because they’re not just friends. All of them are family.’
Finally, Sora reached the altar and stood before Mickey. The mouse had never looked more like a king since he was dressed in his most official robes. It was fitting because he was the officiant for the ceremony.
‘Never would have imagined that we’d be getting married by a king who’s a giant mouse,’ thought Sora as he turned around and gazed down the aisle as his groomsmen, all dressed in matching black suits, approached.
Fittingly, the first groomsman to arrive was also the very first person Sora had helped in his lifetime. ‘I’d barely been born when I saved Ven. And because of him, I gained the Keyblade and became the hero the worlds and Kairi needed.”
Then came his former Nobody. ‘Roxas certainly earned his spot among my groomsmen. He gave up his existence to wake me up so I could stop the first Organization.’
Sora gave a little chuckle as he saw how identical Ven and Roxas were in their suits. ‘They truly do look like twin brothers. I can’t believe how many of the guests here really thought they were that.’
After Roxas, came the two who had been with Sora through nearly every step of his adventures. Donald and Goofy looked like proud parents seeing as how they had long considered Sora to be like another nephew and another son respectively.
‘An anthropomorphic duck and dog among my groomsmen. Now there’s something I definitely never thought I would have at my wedding. But I never would’ve gotten anywhere without them. Not that I would tell Donald that. Goofy maybe. But not Donald. He’d never let me hear the end of it.’
Then Riku came down the aisle. As he took his place right beside Sora, the two of them exchanged smiles.
‘Riku, I’m so happy that through everything that’s happened, our friendship not only endured but got even stronger. You’re my brother in everything but blood and there’s no one else I’d choose to be my best man.’
Now that all the groomsmen were in place, it was now time for the bridesmaids to come down the aisle. ‘My bride really didn’t have a lot of female friends when we were growing up on the Islands. Now, thanks to our adventures, she has plenty to fill her bridesmaids’ ranks,’ thought Sora.
The first bridesmaid to arrive, dressed in a pink dress that they were all wearing, came Olette. ‘She was probably the first person to call our story a romantic one. How right she was.’
Xion was next. ‘Her appearance is living proof that my strongest memories were always of Kairi.’
Following Xion was none other than the blue haired Keyblade master who was ultimately responsible for him meeting the love of his life. ‘I can never thank you enough for setting us up to meet, Aqua.’
Then came Kairi’s former Nobody. ‘I’m so glad that Naminè didn’t want to wake me up without my memories of Kairi. Although, I wish there had been a better way that wouldn’t have required Roxas and Xion to make sacrifices. Oh well. It all worked out in the end.’
Finally, came the maid of honor. ‘She may have been uninvolved in our adventures. But Selphie’s been Kairi’s oldest female friend, so she deserves to be maid of honor.’
Sora then gazed to the front rows of seats where the groups from Disney Castle, Radiant Garden, Twilight Town and Shibuya were all seated. In the very first row was Master Yen Sid, Terra, Axel, Isa, Hayner, Pence, Tidus and Wakka as well as his parents, Hayley and Jones who looked extremely proud of their boy.
‘Mom, Dad, I hope that our marriage turns out as wonderful as yours.’
Next to come up the aisle, was Pluto with Jiminy Cricket riding on top of his head. The dog had a cushion clutched in his mouth which upon it were two paopu fruits each in the middle of a crown of flowers. In the cricket’s hands was a cushion with two golden rings.
Once Pluto had reached the altar, he walked up to Selphie, who reached down and took one of the rings from Jiminy’s cushion. The dog then walked up to Riku who took the remaining ring. With the rings having been delivered to the maid of honor and best man, Pluto assumed a sitting position next to Riku until the time came for his next duty.
Then the music changed. All the guests rose to their feet.
After a short while, Sora’s eyes widened. Coming down the aisle, preceded by Chirithy who was scattering flower petals and between her adoptive parents Parker and Dorothy, was his bride.
Kairi was dressed in a lovely white sleeveless wedding gown. Golden designs were stitched into the fabric with an elaborate shape of a heart on her chest. Her hair had been done up in a bun and she was wearing a tiara with seven shimmering white heart-shaped jewels. In her hands, she carried a bouquet of flowers. Her eyes were bright with happiness and her lips wore a radiant smile.
‘She’s so beautiful,’ thought Sora.
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‘He’s so handsome,’ thought Kairi as she and her parents reached the altar with Chirithy taking its place beside Selphie.
The music faded and the guests resumed sitting. It was time for the ceremony to begin.
“Welcome all honored friends and family from around the worlds. We are gathered here on this most joyous day to witness the joining of Sora and Kairi in the sacred union of marriage. Who presents this woman to be married?” asked Mickey.
“Her father and I do, with all our hearts and with every blessing,” said Dorothy.
“We also say this on behalf of her birth parents and grandmother who sadly could not be here today but would surely be so proud of her,” said Parker solemnly.
A bittersweet feeling came over the bride. ‘I hope, wherever they are, they’re very proud. I just know they would’ve loved Sora especially after hearing about everything he’s done for me.’
Kairi handed her bouquet to Selphie and exchanged a loving embrace with each of her parents. ‘I can never thank you enough for taking me in, Mom and Dad. You’ve been the most wonderful parents I could ask for. I love you both so much.’
The bride then walked over to the groom’s side. Sora was then suddenly embraced by Kairi’s parents.
“Keep taking care of her, Sora,” whispered Parker.
“Just like you always have,” added Dorothy.
“I will. I promise,” Sora responded back as Kairi’s parents broke their embrace and headed for their seats.
‘And there’s never been a promise that you’ve failed to keep, my soon-to-be husband,’ thought Kairi as she took Sora’s hands into her own as Mickey started up again.
“What we are witnessing this day is the next step in what has been an incredible journey. Sora and Kairi began this journey as childhood friends. But although they were young, the light of love was present right from the start and it continued to grow over time. That light has guided them through many trials and tribulations throughout their lives. And now they have reached this day when their hearts, which have always shared a special bond, will now truly become one,” said the mouse king.
‘It certainly has been quite a ride for us, Sora. But everything that we’ve gone through, even the darkest times, has been worth it. Even more worth it since it has finally led us here to this day,’ thought Kairi.
“Sora, Kairi, your love and devotion for one another is greatly admirable. But while marriage is a beautiful symbol of that love, it is a commitment not to be taken lightly as you go through all the challenges that life will throw at you. But there is no doubt among anyone present here that the two of you will rise to meet those challenges together,” continued Mickey.
Kairi smiled at her groom who smiled back. ‘As many of our friends have said, when we’re together, Sora, there is nothing we can’t do.’
“Now, let us hear you both recite your vows of love for one another. And as Keyblade Masters, it is tradition to swear them on your Keyblades. Sora?” asked Mickey.
As he had been instructed by the Keyblade Masters, Sora released one of his hands from Kairi’s, held it out and summoned Kingdom Key eliciting a gasp from several of the guests. Planting the tip to the floor and kneeling down while not once breaking eye contact with Kairi or releasing her hand.
‘Okay, Kairi. Let’s keep it together. You don’t want to start crying and ruin Selphie’s hard work on your makeup. No matter how wonderful Sora’s vow is undoubtedly going to be,’ Kairi thought as the love of her life began.
“Kairi, when my adventures began, what kept me going was the thought of reuniting with the people I hold dear at the end. But looking back, I realize while that was true, it was not entirely accurate because the one I was fighting hardest to reunite with has always truly been you. You’ve always been the one who inspires me to be the best I can be, and you’ve always been the light that leads me out of the darkness and back to where I’m meant to be: where I can hear you laugh, see you smile and just be where we can share our lives and our love. So, this is my vow to you. As your husband, I will stand by your side in all things that may come our way whether it be fighting together to protect the worlds from the darkness or raising a family of our own. I will laugh with you in the good times and comfort you in the bad times. And most of all, I will love you now and forever even beyond the time we part for good.”
Kairi had bee successfully in refraining from crying. But it had been no easy task. Sora’s wonderful words of love had imbued her with immense joy.
As Sora rose and dismissed his Keyblade, Mickey turned to Kairi and said, “Kairi?”
‘Sora, that was absolutely beautiful. I only hope my own vow will touch your heart in the same way you’ve just touched mine.’
Like what Sora did earlier, Kairi held out her hand and summoned Destiny’s Embrace. She planted the tip on the floor and kneeled down while her eyes gazed into Sora’s while keeping one of her hands in his. It was fortunate that her gown had been designed so she had no trouble kneeling down for this part.
“Sora, when I first met you, it was during one of the darkest times of my life. There I was: a lost little girl whose home world was swallowed by the darkness and had been sent away to a strange new one with no memory other than her own name. And then there was you: a boy with the brightest smile who opened his heart to me and helped me build a wonderful new life. I don’t know what would have happened to me had you not become the friend that I needed. I realize now that it was not some random chance that we met. It was destiny. Destiny brought us together. Destiny always reunited us whenever we were separated. And now, destiny has led us here where our hearts will be united. And so, to you, I vow that I will support you in everything from the responsibilities as Keyblade Masters to bringing up our future children. I will always cheer you on and be your source of strength. And most importantly, I will love and cherish you for the entirety of our lifetime and beyond.”
Kairi looked into Sora’s eyes and saw a tear welled up in it. He too was clearly struggling to not make a scene. Her heart warmed to see that her vow had indeed succeeded in touching his heart.
Mickey wiped away a tear of his own from his eye as Kairi dismissed her Keyblade and rose up. “Those vows were beautiful, both of you. You should both be very proud,” he whispered to the bride and groom.
The mouse king then regained his composure and continued on with the ceremony. “The groom and the bride shall now exchange their rings.”
Sora turned away from Kairi. Riku immediately handed Sora the ring. After shooting his oldest friend a look of gratitude, he turned toward his future wife and took her hand into his.
“Kairi, wear this ring as a symbol of my oath to love you and my wish for the wonderful lifetime for both of us,” he said as he slipped the ring on her finger.
Kairi gazed at the ring. Engraved upon it, was a perfect recreation of the drawing from the Secret Place. A drawing that had evolved from simple childhood artwork to a foretelling of a very important moment in their lives.
‘Those Moogles certainly are quite the artists,’ thought Kairi.
“Kairi?” whispered Selphie snapping Kairi out of her thoughts.
‘Oh! Right! Time for me to give Sora his so we match!’
Kairi turned to her maid of honor who passed the ring to her. After giving her oldest gal pal a slightly embarrassed smile, she turned to her groom and took his hand.
“Sora, wear this ring as a symbol of my oath to love you and my wish for the wonderful lifetime for both of us,” said the bride as she slipped the ring onto the groom’s finger.
Mickey smiled. “And now, before we conclude the ceremony, there are two unification rituals that we shall observe. They are traditions that come from the two worlds represented here. First, from the bride’s world of birth, Radiant Garden, the flower crowns.”
Pluto left Riku’s side and moved until he stood before the bride and groom. With a smile of gratitude to the dog, Sora and Kairi reached down and each took one of the flower crowns off of the cushion.
“Entwined in these crowns, are three kinds of flowers. First, the yellow sunflowers represent your friendship, which was where the two of you began. Next, the pink carnations represent your love for each other that grew from your friendship and led you here. And finally, the white daisies represent the brand-new beginning of a whole new journey that two of you will share together in your love. Sora, Kairi, on this day, wear these crowns as symbols of everything your marriage encompasses.”
At the end of Mickey’s words, Sora raised the crown in hands and gently lowered it down onto Kairi’s head, careful not to disturb or obscure her tiara. Once he had finished, Kairi did the same, managing to get the crown past his usual spiky hairstyle that she loved so much.
Kairi then heard what sounded to be some snickers that could have come from either the audience or the groomsmen. Clearly the sight of Sora wearing the flower crown had amused some.
She shook her head with a small smile. ‘I can imagine he might be getting teased after the ceremony likely from Riku, Donald, Axel, Wakka or Tidus. I’ll have to remedy that by assuring him just how adorable he looks.’
“Now, for the tradition from the Destiny Islands. And it is one that carries a certain significance for Sora and Kairi: the sharing of the paopu fruits,” Mickey continued.
Once again, Sora and Kairi reached down to Pluto’s cushion. This time, they took the two star-shaped fruits from it.
“For those who do not know, there is a legend from the Islands that when two people share these fruits, their destinies are bound together, and they remain a part of each other’s lives no matter what. While Sora and Kairi have shared these fruits before, they will do so again here on their wedding day to renew and strengthen that bond.”
With that, Sora and Kairi began to reach their fruits to the other’s mouth. As they inched closer, they both recalled the day before their fight against Xehanort on the paopu tree, where they shared them for the first time.
‘Even if what followed that day were things we’d rather forget, the moment we first shared these fruits will always be one of our most treasured memories. But, this time, I know for sure that there’s nothing but good and wonderful things to come after we share them today,’ thought Kairi.
Finally, the fruits reached their mouths and simultaneously, Sora and Kairi took a bite out of the other’s. After chewing and swallowing, they returned the fruits to Pluto’s cushion. As the dog returned to Riku’s side, the couple took each other’s hands once again and faced Mickey.
Mickey gave them a smile. “Sora, Kairi, you have pledged your vows. You have exchanged your rings. You have crowned each other with the symbolic flowers. And you have strengthened the bond of your destinies with the paopu fruit. So, by the power vested in me as the king of Disney Castle, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Sora, you may kiss your bride.”
Sora took Kairi into his arms and the two of them exchanged the brightest smiles they ever shown. Their feelings of happiness could not be greater now that their hearts had been joined together.
‘It’s time, Sora. Time to make another memory to treasure for the rest of our lives.’
Closing their eyes and preparing for the thunderous applause that would soon fill the chapel, they slowly inched their faces closer together.
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But alas, the memory never came to be because the kiss never happened. At this exact moment, the wonderful dream had ended, and the dreamer woke up to a reality that was far less bright.
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Notes from the Mad Doctor:
As much as I hated to cut short what would have been a very lovely SoKai moment, it was necessary due to the path this story is going to take.
I really had to do some heavy research to make this feel like a believable wedding ceremony. I really hope I pulled it off and I hope you all liked what I included as special unification rituals. I always felt the paopu fruits would be used in Destiny Islands’ weddings and I also imagined flowers would play a part in Radiant Garden’s wedding ceremonies on account of the world’s name.
I was thinking, for the music that would play at this wedding, they’d use a new wedding rendition of Dearly Beloved for when Sora and the wedding party are coming down the aisle and an instrumental of Don’t Think Twice for the bride’s entrance. Any thoughts and ideas of your own, readers?
Now, I have mentioned this before in my other stories. But for the benefit of any new readers, I’ll mention it again. Since I couldn’t come up with good Kingdom Hearts-ish sounding names for Sora and Kairi’s parents, I decided to name them after recurring actors from Disney live-action movies. Here are their derivations:
Hayley, Sora’s Mother: Hayley Mills from Pollyanna and The Parent Trap (also doubles as a reference to Haley Joel Osment)
Jones, Sora’s Father: Dean Jones from the Herbie the Love Bug film series
Parker, Kairi’s Father: Fess Parker from Davey Crockett and Old Yeller
Dorothy, Kairi’s Mother: Dorothy McGuire from Swiss Family Robinson and Old Yeller
I give my thanks to whoever reads this chapter.
I’d also like to give a special thank you to my sister-in-law for helping me with picking out the best flowers for the flower crowns. I couldn’t have done it without her!
Comments, likes and reblogs are much appreciated! Stay tuned for we’ll be exploring what the subtitle of this story means as we go along!
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Onto the next chapter!
#kingdom hearts#kh fanfiction#sokai#sokai wedding#sokaiweek#sokaiweek2021#sora#king mickey mouse#ventus#roxas#donald duck#goofy#riku#olette#xion#aqua#namine#selphie#pluto#jiminy cricket#chirithy#kairi's parents#kairi#maddrmatt
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Keys to the Kingdom Preview
No I’m not giving ya’ll any kind of context for any of this. You’ll just have to figure out what’s going on here for yourselves. Either way, writing Larxene and Marluxia is such a fucking delight they’re such assholes and also Xion and Namine are my daughters someone please help them:
“Naminé,” Marluxia begins, his tone falsely cordial and charming. “What a pleasant surprise it is to see that you’ve returned. It seems as though so many of us Nobodies are making a comeback these days.”
“It looks like Sora had to come rushing to your rescue again, huh, Naminé?” Larxene taunts, feigning sympathy. “You know, it’s such a shame that no one can save him from what’s happening to that fragile little heart of his. Not even you this time.”
Naminé winces at this, sees Xion tense up out of the corner of her eye. Through her lasting connection to his memories, Naminé knows just how much danger Sora’s been in lately, a message she’d tried sending to Kairi countless times from the depths of her heart. A message that she’d never been strong enough to successfully deliver.
“Y-you… you don’t know what you’re talking about,” Naminé calls the duo’s bluff, even though she knows it's a worthless effort. Not when just about every member in the Organization is likely well aware of exactly who their thirteenth member might eventually be.
“We do,” Marluxia counters coolly. “But if you don’t believe us, then perhaps you’d like a firsthand look at just how far he’s truly fallen…”
He takes a step forward at this, though he doesn’t get far before Xion suddenly pushes herself in front of Naminé, brandishing her Keyblade protectively as she glares harshly at both Organization members. “Leave her alone!” she demands firmly. She may not have the faintest clue about what sort of history Naminé might have with either Marulxia or Larxene, but she can tell by just how frightened the other girl behind her is that whatever that history is, it can’t be anything good.
“Uh, who are you supposed to be?” Larxene sneers, sizing Xion up condescendingly.
“I believe,” Marulxia interjects just as haughtily. “That’s the puppet. Our former fourteenth member, Xion.”
“Really?” Larxene asks, incredulous. “You mean that thing actually had a face under that hood this whole time? Who could have guessed?”
“Enough!” Xion shouts, still gripping her Keyblade securely. “Whatever you two are here for, you’re not going to get it. Especially if you came to hurt Naminé; I won’t allow it!”
“X-Xion…” Naminé mutters softly, surprised that she’d even bother standing up for her. That she’d so brazenly rush in to protect someone who had failed to save even so much as a scrap of memory about her before.
“Oh, great, looks like it knows how to run its yap now too,” Larxene rolls her eyes, ignoring the question outright. “I wonder where it picked that up from? Probably Roxas. Or Sora. It’s not like either one of them knows how to shut up either.”
“We wouldn’t dream of bringing any harm to Naminé,” Marluxia says calmly. “Not when she can still be such a valuable asset to the Organization’s cause.”
“Ooo, sounds like you were thinking the exact same thing I was,” Larxene grins over at her longtime partner-in-crime. “The old man’s getting super close to dragging Sora onto the winning team anyway. What better way is there to push him over the edge than by tearing every last one of his memories to shreds so he can have a ‘fresh start’ with all of us?”
“A novel idea, one that could very well lead to a measurable reward from,” Marluxia agrees, not regarding the rising alarm in either of the girls standing before him over such an unspeakable scheme. “Presenting the master with a way to completely submit Sora into his unquestionable control could certainly go a long way in winning his favor…”
“And,” Larxene adds in a devious whisper. “It’d make the crazy geezer take back everything he said when he chewed you out for trying to haul the stupid kid back to him before. Who knows? We might even wind up with a nice promotion as a bonus. I know I’d do just about anything to see the looks on Xigbar and Saïx’s faces when we bump them both right out of the upper ranks!”
“Not to mention….” Marluxia muses, lighting skimming the lingering scar on his face Sora had left him during their last encounter. “It’s a chance to put that bothersome boy in his place… But of course--” he sets his sights on Naminé once more. “The only way we can accomplish any of that is with your help, Naminé…”
“No,” Naminé hisses immediately, her formerly fearful manner sharpening into rage at the very suggestion. At the very thought of harming Sora’s heart, or anyone else’s heart, as badly as she once had before. “I already told you last time; I don’t care what you try to do to me, I am never letting you force me into hurting Sora, not now or ever again!”
“Oh, wow, ‘big, bad’ Naminé finally grew a backbone after all this time sitting scared on the sidelines,” Larxene teases viciously. Her already malicious grin widens as her knives flash into the spaces between her fingers, practically glistening in the light streaming in from the window. “But ya see, the thing about that is, I can think of plenty of things we can do to convince you to change your mind…”
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Woeful WIP Wednesday
Hi! This is the start of my Woeful WIP Wednesday series of posts which will happen on Wednesdays, duh. And before anyone gets up at me about it not being Wednesday yet... just remember time zones exist in this world, and yeah, it is actually Wednesday.
Other things about the name... Most of these WIPs I'm happy with so it's not the actual stories that are woeful. It's the fact that they are still WIPs and not finished that is woeful to me, hence the name, yeah? Ok 😄
So with that out of the way...
I've gone through all my folders and found the various bits and pieces of writing I've begun and let slide or abandoned. My hope is that by letting them be free on Tumblr I might either A) remember that these stories exist, B) perhaps get a renewed appreciation and motivation to poke them, C) give myself permission to never look at them again.
Some of these WIPs I 100% mean to finish one day. Some I know I won't. Some I have actually finished but haven't polished completely or something's getting in the way of me doing a final pass so I don't consider them worthy of going onto my Ao3 account just yet but hopefully will one day.
The WIPs I'm gonna upload are also of various lengths. I have some completed chapters that are thousands of words long, I have some that are mere hundreds of words long and are slips of ideas I started to formulate.
I have 10 AkuRoku WIPs and 6 Zakkura ones. Each week I'll post one WIP and the pattern will be 2 AkuRoku WIPs followed by 1 Zakkura to mix things up a bit. I'll blab a bit about the WIP and post the full WIP under the cut.
If there is anything in particular people would like to know about the stories or the creative process in future posts please let me know and I’ll incorporate more information if people are interested in that sort of thing. If you give me direction I can follow through.
I hope you will enjoy these WIPs and I trust you'll judge them way less harshly than what I judge my own writing.
So anyway, kicking things off I have a very short and sweet AkuRoku WIP.
I started this in May 2019 and it's technically 'done' but I haven't posted it because it's not done to my specific level of 'done-ness'. All it needs is a little polish. A little editing here and there. Fixing the grammatical and spelling errors, and fleshing it out in a few spots perhaps.
It's the 'fleshing out' bit that hasn't happened and that's truly stopping me from considering this a finished product.
This story is called ‘10 ways to fall in love’ but I never came up with 10 scenarios which I suspect is why this story will never be finished. I could change the name of it and if I ever post it I will change the name of it. In fact, most of the WIPs I post would have different names if they ever do go up on Ao3.
But going back to this specific WIP— it is a canon story spanning Days, KH2, KH3, and after, which is maybe the biggest culprit in regards to why I never finished this story. I don’t do well with canon-based story telling. It’s too much pressure to get everything canon-compliant. Do people ask for things to be right? Probably not so much, but my brain is very hyperfocused on getting things right, which is a huge road block to my creativity and the reason why I prefer AUs.
I don't have much else to say about this story but if you enjoy this, or any of the other WIP’s it would be great if you would let me know.
If others are passionate about these stories it might make me passionate about them again. But who knows.
Rated G
Word count - 951
10 ways to fall in love
What do you call it?
This feeling I have?
Love?
No. Too strong, or not strong enough
A name
A special name
Your name
It was always your name
That made me feel like I had a heart
They didn’t have a name for it. They didn’t even know if what they felt was real because how could a Nobody feel anything. For Axel it was just a ghost of a memory of his old life. For Roxas it was an endless source of confusion because these strange sensations fluttered in his body all the time when he was around Axel. It was incredibly dull at first but grew exponentially bigger with the passing days.
He couldn’t reconcile that even the most tedious missions were made fun when they were around each other - though he shouldn’t be able to have fun without a heart. What were any of the experiences that ever happened between them, without a heart? They felt nothing. They were Nobodies. They couldn't be anything other than empty husks.
That had always been the greatest lie which had been told to them, which they chose to believe, until it became impossible, though the denial sat rife in the way they denied their joy, sadness, and anger. But the strongest denial flowed from the warmth and nameless affections that fluttered in the chest and stomach when they were together. Such a thing was most unbelievable of all and merely a figment of the imagination - a vestige of when they were Somebodies, a quiet echo in a vast nothingness of their actual existence. Even for Roxas, with his half-formed ideas of his Somebodies life.
But none of these things mattered because Roxas disappeared and Axel died.
"He made me feel like I had a heart." A quiet whisper of a thought, made real and said aloud finally crumbled the paper-thin veneer which Axel had clung too, all too late to do anything about.
And he is reborn, and now knows better. Lea knows better. He understands his returned heart which aches and bleeds broken and shattered even as it is physically whole inside himself, pumping blood. His soul has gone, reappearing for fleeting moments when he sees Sora get a certain look in his eyes, or uses a turn of phrase. A spark exists and it jolts Lea every time closer to awareness - closer to a name.
And then he is in that most miserable of places, fighting a war that might never be won, but he must try because the promise of what lies ahead if he does win is worth every risk. He fights for his friends, present and gone, and then out of almost nowhere Lea's heart is returned and whole and stronger than ever before, and his memories are back, and he holds the two people most dear to him. He cannot lose them again and does everything in his power to protect them both, and it is a safe feeling because it stops him from thinking too hard or feeling too strongly the flutters and warmth, and the soothing in his heart.
But he feels it all again, and let's himself be overcome by it as the never-setting sun of Twilight Town is observed with his most favorite people in the whole wide world sitting next to him.
He scooches a little closer, seeking the warmth and reassurance of Roxas next to him. The tinkling laugh builds his own and drips deep down into his body and soul to become the best sound he's always known to miss.
Happiness engulfs him. But it is not the word he looks for when he sees Roxas walking, talking, laughing, grumbling, and eating ice cream. It is so much bigger and all-encompassing than this miniscule word for a feeling..
"I never stopped wanting you back. I never stopped fighting to get you back," he confesses in the evening on Destiny Island, during a rare moment alone on this summer vacation full of reunions and happy tidings.
"I know. I saw, I heard."
"You did?"
Roxas nods and swings his legs as they dangle off the pier the both of them at sitting on.
It warms Lea’s heart to know Roxas was never far away. “I think I felt you – there in Sora. When he got angry and frustrated.”
Roxas laughs. “I was always angry and frustrated in Sora. Everything felt so warm and fluffy inside of there.”
“Realy? Why would that make you angry?”
“Because it’s like eating nothing but honey – you get sick of it,” Roxas shakes his head, “But it’s worse because someone else is force-feeding it to you.”
"It's ok. Just seeing you – knowing you were there wanting to get me back was enough." Roxas leans, Lea receives and the feels which are always right there, in the middle of his chest ignite and burn so bright.
"I'm sorry I couldn't do anything to help you."
Lea hugs him tight, almost too tight. Roxas writhes against his arms and just as Lea makes to let go Roxas gets his own arms around Lea and squeezed him, robbing him of his breath for a few seconds, but Lea feels he could happily die in Roxas' arms and savors the crush.
They both end up laughing against each other, inhaling deep breaths, rubbing their cheeks against each other and leaning their foreheads together.
Everything they ever felt for each other is still there, but stronger, because they have hearts and acceptance of their reality.
"Axel," Roxas' breath tickles Lea's lips. He doesn't care to correct Roxas. Roxas could call him a heartless and he wouldn't care because Roxas is back and with him.
"I don't want you to ever disappear again," Lea murmurs.
"I don't want you to ever suffer again," Roxas apologizes.
Lea cups Roxas' cheek, which is so soft and warm. "I never will as long as you're with me."
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“What am I supposed to do when I can’t even trust my own mind?” The brunette was beside himself, frustration evident in his voice as he stared out across the ocean surrounding Destiny Island. Ever since Roxas and Ventus were discovered and then taken out of his heart, the Keybearer had struggled with the impending fear of how much of his feelings and thoughts were really his and how much was someone else entirely. || Please do take your time if you decide to respond, and have fun! ^^ ||
Riku knew when something was bothering the brunette, it wasn't like him to stay so distant. However, the platinum haired male knew full well how much Sora kept inside. The boy would always try and carry everything himself and was probably trying to figure things out all on his own, which as much as the older boy admired that, he also knew when Sora needed him. Call it instinct or rather his attention on how his closest friend acted.
Slowly Riku reached a hand out and placed it on the brunette's shoulder. A soft gesture to let Sora know he was right beside him. The last thing he wanted to do was surprise the boy. Leaning back against the tree he kept his gaze on Sora.
"Talk to me Sora, I know full well when things are bothering you. Is this about Ventus and Roxas?"
It was pretty clear that ever since the two left Sora's heart, that the younger boy had been acting a bit off. Riku had a hunch as to why Sora was acting differently. It was something that Riku had even faced at one time. If all the thoughts he had were truly his own or just influenced by someone else.
"Sora, you've always been yourself. It's obvious since those two left your heart that you've been acting off. Your all still you."
It felt like a call back to years ago, when Sora was struggling with the idea of Roxas being his nobody. How Riku said something similar to him and it seemed to calm the other down but now it was twice as bad. It was going to take a bit to convince Sora that he was all still himself and all the choices he made were his own. It wasn’t easy to struggle with the idea that some outside force had control of your life. It was downright scary and made you feel...lost. Almost like without them around, would things stay the same?
With steady steps he turned and walked up to Sora, placing hands on the boy shoulders. Riku’s gaze both serious and sincere. Something the white haired male seemed to master over the years.
“Sora, you know I won’t judge you. Talk to me and I promise we’ll get through this, together.”
After all, Sora never once judged Riku even when others would’ve simply left him behind. Treated him like the monster he saw himself as. What Sora needed was a person just to talk to without the fear of being judged or looked at differently.
“It’s okay to say how your feeling..if anyone deserves to it’s you. Don’t think of anything else just focus on this moment. Share those thoughts with me and we’ll carry it together.”
#Way to Dawn(rp meme)#ooc: Aw thanks for this I hope this was good way to go off what you sent! I look forward to writing with you
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Namixi and Soulmates
Okay, so let's establish a few things before we go skipping off merrily to AU land. For that spice of angst, this should be set in an otherwise canon compliant universe. I'd go with the always good standby of soulmate's name on your skin, because, while I like first words or symbols just as much and sometimes better, well, we want to be clear in this case. We'll keep some of the ambiguity and extra angst potential though in that the soulmate names can be platonic or romantic. This isn't quite so relevant for Namixi (unless there was an actual fic to come out of this and some extra misunderstanding and/or skirting around each other was called for) but it does still get this au to retain the bisexual disaster Destiny Trio not quite sure what is going on and having unnecessary and unresolved competitions and tensions leading into KH1 despite the fact they all have two names...but how Riku deals with his Sora and Kairi feelings is another essay. Let's jump into Naminé and Xion headcanons.
Naminé comes into being with the names of all three of the Destiny Trio written on her, but Sora and Riku fade within hours. They belong to Kairi not her. Kairi's name stays, as her source, the part of her that matters, who she needs to go back to if she wants to have any meaning. There are many explanations given to her, and she believes even the latter ones, not knowing better.
Naminé is set to play cat's cradle with Sora's memories and his name reappears. It's not real. He doesn't belong to her. Nobody belongs to her. She doesn't even belong to herself. She belongs to Kairi, as a lost object, not as a real soulmate. She can look at Sora's name and pretend for a moment though...not that she wants Sora to be her real soulmate, even though he is very nice, she'd just like to not feel so empty or alone.
Riku's name comes back too as more games are played. The word Replica accompanies it, and the seven letters that show this one is hers and not Kairi's make the heart Naminé shouldn't have flutter, though mostly with guilt, because she doesn't feel quite as grateful as she should for having one of her dearest wishes granted and she doesn't do right by the Riku Replica, not as much as she could have if she'd been stronger/braver/faster at least. But enough about Naminé's insecurity and self-flagellation for now
Riku fades again, but Replica stays. It's curious. DiZ calls her broken. It won't be the last time.
Replica morphs into Xion while Nami is sleeping. When Naminé finds out more about Xion, it makes sense. It's parts of the whole in the literal sense, the same as Kairi. It's ....disappointing, but she's used to disappointment.
Xion is born with more names she doesn't recognize than just Naminé. Naminé stays steady though, even when others shift, disappear, reappear, are forgotten, or are only remembered in moments just after waking.
Xion doesn't pay attention to the shifting names, except to occasionally scoff with Roxas over not even knowing what much less who a Sora was. She's fascinated with the Roxas and Axel on her neck and arm that prove she is a friend, and blocks the others out, except for Naminé.
Xion finds Naminé a real comfort. Maybe she's a friend, like Roxas and Axel. No, definitely Naminé is a friend or one of those other words Roxas was talking to Axel about, the friend-plus-extras, the even different from best friends. Naminé gives her a warm, happy feeling, even when she's just a name...especially when she's just a name, because the real Naminé is being forced into a role just like Xion is.
Xion would rather save Naminé and herself, but she goes along with the roles in the end, for Sora, for Roxas, for Naminé.
Everyone forgets Xion, but the name remains on Naminé's wrist and she wants to cry every time she sees it without understanding why. It's yet one more reason that it's almost a relief to merge with Kairi and not have to fully exist anymore.
Neither girl expected a new life, a life all their own, but they get them, and they couldn't be more grateful.
Finding each other is neither dramatic nor immediate. They both just go about their lives, stunned at the novelty of being allowed to.
Naminé helps Even and Ienzo with research, and flies away with Riku when he gently reminds her she gets to choose now. She'll be back, when they need her, but she's spent enough time locked in different white rooms, so she'll let herself be selfish for a bit. She paints with Rapunzel, builds a snowman with Elsa, and when Riku says everyone is meeting up on Destiny Islands, she follows without even asking who the everyone is and if he's only inviting her out of pity.
Xion eats ice cream and picks out an apartment with Roxas and Axel. She debates about enrolling in school, but concludes classes are probably not as fun as practicing to beat the boys into a hundred tiny pieces in the next struggle tournament. She hears beach party reunion and she's there.
They'll never know if Roxas suggested the same patch of shore to them both as the best place for shells on purpose and distracted or actively threatened anyone else who would have gotten too close, but they will both have suspicions.
Naminé's hand brushes the back of Xion's where her own name resides. She shows Xion the inside of her wrist. It's fair play
Naminé explains away that it's because they are both parts of Kairi with a small, nervous laugh.
Xion points out she doesn't see Kairi's name on Naminé anymore since Naminé came back as her own person and not just Kairi's Nobody. Naminé voices her surprise that Xion was paying attention enough the one time they met before to remember seeing Kairi's name much less where it was. Xion blushes and backtracks., saying it was a guess since Roxas doesn't wear Sora or Ventus's names anymore.
Xion reorients the conversation saying she never had Kairi's name on her except for when she took Sora's form, so Naminé's explanation doesn't fit. She needs a new hypothesis. Maybe they can come up with one together as they look for shells.
Maybe they should just treat it as if they had normal soulmarks and had just found their soulmate. Get to know each other and explore what kind of bond they might have or form naturally.
Maybe they can start with an ice cream date.
Maybe they'll live happily ever after.
#namixi#namine#xion#kingdom hearts#kingdom hearts au#snippets#soulamte au#send a couple and an au for headcanons#ask meme
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An incredibly self-indulgent au that I would like to see someone else write:
au where Leon goes with Sora instead of Donald and Goofy
yeah that’s just an au I love a lot and I want to see something of (I’m too lazy to do it myself though..) but the real self indulgence is below the cut!
Alright, here’s the real juicy stuff. I’ve been referring to it as the I love my son au for hopefully obvious reasons
Because its me, obviously, I want Ienzo to travel with them. Let’s say he escaped Xemnas and has been living in Traverse Town for pretty much his entire life, probably as a street rat. Does he know Leon? Maybe. Maybe Leon found him in Radiant Garden and took him in, or maybe they only know each other in passing. Point is, he’s a really powerful magic user and easily fills Donald’s role as the magician. (Something I think could be interesting is if Ienzo doesn’t have his heart. He escaped Xemnas, sure, but he’s still a Nobody, even if he doesn’t know the term for it. Cue some confusion from Sora and Leon over why Ienzo is like this, why heartless don’t chase him, what he means by “I don’t have a heart” etc. And hey! It could give Sora some insight into the Org that he wouldn’t have otherwise... just a thought.)
So, why would Ienzo, Nobody or not, go with Leon and Sora? I mean, obviously Leon is going because ma’am that is a CHILD, why are you giving him a SWORD- but Ienzo? He just wants his family back. Or, at the very least, find out what happened to them and why.
Pretty much everything is the same in kh1 except 1) Leon helps find the puppies (and actively derails the adventure to do so) 2) Leon gives as much emotional support as he can and 3) the trio isn’t split up by choice. (when they ARE however... the drama. Ienzo, in his childhood home that he destroyed with hints of what could have happened to his family up against worried dad!Leon who knows Sora is out there with only a wooden sword and Sora being terrified on his own with no way to heal himself and no backup and he wants his dad, dammit!) I also think it would be funny if Ienzo got an admirer in the form of Demyx, who has been following them around. He was supposed to report what they were doing to the Superior but he got... distracted.
I would think, since Zexion isn’t in the Organization, Saix wouldn’t send Axel to Oblivion, since the whole point was getting rid of VI and everyone else was an afterthought. However, with Ienzo being a rather valuable asset even when he was a baby, I would like to think that no one is rank VI; Xemnas saved it for Ienzo and was just waiting for an opportunity to get him back. So Zoey would get kidnapped at some point during COM. (much to Leon’s distress) Bonus points for drama involving the three (technically 4 if you count Heartless!Ansem) dad conundrum.
Also during COM, Repliku stays alive because I love him very much and he deserves it. Leon doesn’t get sealed away though... the whole ‘turning into cards’ thing is weird and takes away from Luxord’s power set so we’re gonna throw that whole thing away and instead have Leon get yeeted back to Traverse Town because the Org was getting sick of him interfering with fights and also, you know, having a damn braincell. Plus, angst for when he realizes he forgot his kid for a year.
In kh2, since Ienzo is kidnapped, Kairi is the magician and can, in fact, heal. Zexion is part of the Org but really doesn’t want to be, Cloud and Leon get married offscreen after getting separated from the kids, Sorikai feels, Zexion kills Saix because I said so (and because saix killed vexen), significantly more murder because most of the org is alive (although Leon stops them initially from killing anyone because child soldiers and murder is bad), it’s revealed that Roxas was in a weirdly close friend group with Zexion, Demyx, Axel and Her, all that good stuff. Hey, maybe after fighting Xemnas, Sorikai hang out in the Relm of Darkness and find Aqua. I dunno.
I would also like to mention, that in this theoretical au, healing spells aren’t a easily accessible thing, and magic itself isn’t widely accessible either. Generally, humans have a pretty low amount of magic, and while keyblades can boost and channel magic, they only really allow for basic offensive and defensive spells that can be improved upon. And though it can boost ‘magicka’ to a point, it’s not like you can just keep using magic forever. Why you ask? Well, making magic less accessible is just fun because it makes fights more grounded with higher stakes, as compared to “blow the bad guy away with magic wind powers and then fly to safety.” Plus, it means that not as many characters can use magic, making magic teachers a valuable resource. As for why healing spells aren’t really a thing? Well, I just personally think healing spells are kinda cheap narratively, especially since potions are a thing but my main two reasons are a) it solidifies Ienzo as a valuable asset both to the Gang and the Organization and b) angst. Like... oh I don’t know... Leon takes a bad hit for Sora while they’re separated from Ienzo and out of elixirs/potions? Hmm...
And as a final act of total self indulgence, maybe throw some half-awake Ventus in there. As a treat.
(when I started writing this out like 4 hours ago, I barely had anything other than a concept. And then I overthought it, so now I have a whole timeline up until DDD. I will never do anything with it, but that’s why everything got weirdly specific in some sections. I’m sorry, I have no self control. Also it’s 1 am and I am not cleaning this up)
#it is so late... I have been writing this sporadically over the course of 4 hours#the kh2 section is only kind of a shitpost#oh god now I have to tag everything#kh au#squall leonhart#sora kh#leon kh#Ienzo kh#Zexion kh#demyx kh#zemyx#sorikai#riku kh#repliku kh#namine kh#cloud strife#cloud kh#xemnas kh#self indulgent au#axel kh#organization xiii#I have decided to not tag all of the characters#roleswap au#kingdom hearts#ffffuck im missing some tags but I can't THINK
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Language: English Rating: General Audiences (G) / P12 Warnings: - Fandom: Kingdom Hearts Series: Another 358 Days (Ao3, Tumblr) Genre: Songfic, Romance Characters: Roxas, Xion, Naminé (mentioned), Riku (mentioned), Isa (mentioned) Relationships: RokuShi (Roxas/Xion), Namiku (Riku/Naminé, if you squint) Words: 5,416 Chapter: 1/1 Beta: @theeeveetamer Notes: This is one of my favorite fanfics I’ve written so far, and I hope you all enjoy it as much as I do. The midsummer part, most importantly the custom Xion mentions, is heavily inspired by actual Swedish midsummer customs. Written for RokuShi Week / RokuShi Day 2021 Other Platforms: -
Midsummer was the biggest holiday in Twilight Town, rivalled only by Christmas. However, the way the citizens celebrated was completely different. Christmas was something celebrated in private with one’s family, but Midsummer was celebrated in public with the entire town, akin to a big festival. There was music and dancing, there were lots of food stalls with some of the best this world had to offer, there were competitions in sack racing and tug-of-war… The blur of laughter, chatter and music was audible even on top of the clocktower.
Roxas smiled as he took another bit off his seasalt ice cream. It was wonderful, but he had needed a break. Celebrating for almost three days in a row was incredibly exhausting.
It was a great end for his first year as a normal person though. Well, not quite, it was still a full week until then. They had agreed to not celebrate, since the anniversary of them finally getting their own bodies was also the anniversary of the Second Keyblade War. So much pain had happened on that day and in the immediate aftermath.
It really was a shame they had missed Twilight Town’s Midsummer celebration last year though. Sora had been too busy preparing for the Keyblade War to stop by, and neither Roxas nor Xion knew about the holiday anyway. He couldn’t believe they had been oblivious to it for so long, considering how much time they had spent there as Nobodies. Even Axel apparently hadn’t been aware it was a thing until recently.
Summer in Twilight Town by itself was wonderful. The sunsets looked even brighter than they usually did because there were less clouds in the sky, and it was warm enough to not wear a jacket and exchange the long pants in favor of shorts. But Midsummer? That was an entire league of its own, and even though it was exhausting, Roxas absolutely loved it, just as much as he loved his home.
He’d always hoped for a normal life, but now that he had one it wasn’t perfect, or even as normal as the one he had dreamed of. There was always something that reminded him on his origins, whether it was his therapy sessions, Terra, Aqua and Ven or Riku asking for their help regarding some Keybearer duties or the simple fact that he had a cable port on his left wrist.
But… That was okay. He was incredibly grateful for this second chance one way or another. Besides, it was not like he could change where he came from anyways. Why waste time and energy on it? He liked his life as it was – actually, he liked it even better than the one he’d dreamed of.
There was only one thing that bothered him recently.
It had started when he had been sick with an upset stomach. Xion had blamed herself because she thought she was absorbing his strength again, going as far as trying to leave Twilight Town in the assumption that he would only become better when she did that. It hurt to see her that way, loathing herself with guilt for something that wasn’t her fault at all.
Luckily, he had been able to stop her from doing that, and she had settled on taking care of him instead. She had even managed to brew tea for him, a thought that made Roxas smile to this day, because if there was anything Xion was truly awful at, it was cooking. Something always went wrong even when she attempted something really simple, not that anyone would fault her for it. She still tried her best.
It had taken her several tries, but the tea she had given him had definitely been one of the best Roxas had ever had in his short life. Maybe because it was from her.
He had probably said and done quite a few stupid things over the course of the afternoon they had spent together, since had been so incredibly tired. Roxas’ cheeks heated up slightly. Xion really meant a lot to him. This feeling was one of the most real things he had ever experienced. He wanted someone to feel about him that way – more specifically, he wanted her to feel that way about him.
He had known her for almost as long as he existed, and he couldn’t really remember a time without her. She had been what caused him to think of himself as an individual for the first time, and they had been through a lot together in general. Axel said things like that deepened the bonds between people, and whether he was right about that or not, one thing was for sure: Xion was Roxas’ best friend in a way that Axel could never be.
Roxas didn’t want to lose what he currently had, and especially not the people he cared for. Naminé, Axel and by some extension Ven were the closest thing to a family he had, even though Ven wasn’t around as much. Roxas couldn’t imagine living without them anymore, just as much as he couldn’t imagine living without the friends he had made over the past year.
Losing Sora had already been tough enough. Roxas had gotten a lot better at handling his emotions, but he was sure that handling another loss would be tough, even if it was Isa. But losing Xion again… The thought of it alone was unbearable and his eyes even got a bit watery when he thought about what he would do without her.
She was special to him, Roxas had known that for a long time. He had never thought much more about it though, not until recently, when he had upset his stomach. What was that feeling he held for her, and her alone?
Could it possibly be… Love?
He had asked Axel about it when that question first crossed his mind, but for once his friend didn’t have an answer. ‘That’s something you’ll have to find out yourself, Roxas,’ was what he had said.
Roxas sighed. Maybe he should talk to Xion about it…
“Hello Roxas!”
Wow. That really was perfect timing… He smiled.
“Hey Xion.” He motioned to the space beside him. “Do you want to take a seat?”
She nodded and sat down next to him.
Maybe this was a good time to address what he had just been thinking about. On one hand, the clocktower felt like a personal place, and they were alone today. On the other hand – even though people rarely came up here, which was one of the reasons why this had been their preferred meeting place back in their Organization days, it was still a public space.
Even though Xion had gotten a lot better at dealing with emotions as well and her color changes provided a good aid at determining her feelings, she was still a lot worse at it than Roxas himself was. She still couldn’t even name what she was feeling most of the time. He didn’t want to make her uncomfortable by any means, especially because knowing Xion, she wouldn’t be able to tell him that he was making her feel that way. Sure, she’d get green freckles at some point, but by that point, she would already have to feel really uncomfortable – and even then, she could still try and suppress the freckles because she didn’t want to upset him. Roxas didn’t want to take it that far under any circumstances.
Besides… How did one even start something like this? Surely saying something like ‘Hey Xion, can we talk about my feelings for you? I’m kind of confused’ wasn’t the best way to go…
“Say, have you heard about that custom that if you place seven different kinds of flowers under your pillow tonight you’ll dream of the person you’ll marry?”
Roxas nodded. Olette had been going on about it for days. “It sounds just like another midsummer superstition to me though.”
Xion shrugged. “Well, Naminé seems to be absolutely convinced it works.”
“Let’s hope she doesn’t dream of Riku then,” Roxas said with a light chuckle and finished the last bit of his ice cream.
“You still don’t like him him, do you?”
Well, his relationship with Riku was admittedly a difficult one.
On one hand, Riku was Sora’s best friend. They had grown up together, almost like brothers since Sora’s mother had often looked after Riku when they were younger. Roxas did feel somewhat sorry for Riku due to his rather complicated family issues, or what he knew about them, but on the other hand… He still couldn’t forget what Riku had done to him.
Roxas understood how Riku felt about Sora. After all, he felt similar about Naminé. If she were to fall asleep for a year, Roxas knew he would do just about anything in order to help her wake up again too, even if that meant asking Riku to kiss her.
But taking someone else’s existence away? Ruining a life? It had been so unfair, and Roxas couldn’t help but hate Riku for it, despite how kind he was to Naminé (and really all of them) and everything he had learned about him over the past year. Again, Roxas wasn’t very good at forgiving.
He sighed. “Let’s just say it’s complicated.”
Xion nodded, but didn’t say anything. Roxas was grateful for that, he wasn’t really in the mood for talking about his complicated relationship with Riku, or Isa for that matter. Maybe someday, he could find it in his heart to forgive them both – but not today. Especially since there was something else he wanted to discuss with her…
“I still can’t believe that we’ve been living like this for a year now.” There went his chance at doing so. She had already settled on a new subject. If he could just think of something “No one threatening to turn us into Dusks, no daily missions… Just Axel, Isa, Naminé, you and me…”
“Is something bothering you, Xixi?” He couldn’t hold it back anymore. This tone was so off for her.
Xion shrugged. “It’s not a big deal, really,” she said. “But recently, I've been confused by my feelings for you.”
He didn’t see why it should… Wait! “You too?”
“What do you mean by…” She stopped, and her eyes widened a bit. “Roxas… Don’t tell me you’re feeling weird about me too.”
He sighed and nodded. “I do, as a matter of fact.”
Xion bit her lip. “How… How do you feel?”
Roxas shrugged. “It’s… Well. It’s something different than I feel for the others, I think…”
“Does this mean we can’t be friends anymore?”
Oh no. He hadn’t meant to upset her. Hastily, Roxas shook his head. “No, of course it doesn’t!”, he assured her. “I’m just saying that you’re special to me, Xion, that’s all.”
“Special…”, she whispered, lifting her head, but still not looking at him. Instead, her gaze wandered to the sun on the horizon. She obviously needed some time, so he decided to say nothing and turned to watch the eternal sunset as well, in order to give her some privacy.
Twilight Town’s sun wandered across the horizon, it just never really rose, at least not during the day. It did change with the seasons however, in winter it was a bit lower than in summer.
During daytime, the sun would wander across all four points of the compass. When it was in the North, it marked a new date for the citizens of Twilight Town. When it was in the east, the colors of the sky changed to softer pastels, and it was usually when Roxas, Xion and Naminé would get up to go to school. When it was in the South, they would usually have lunch, and on Wednesdays it was when lessons were over. And getting closer to the west, the sky would gradually fade into the bright reds, and eventually purples when it neared the North.
Currently, it was somewhere between South and West, and the sky was colored in warm, glowing pinks and oranges. On this day, they were even brighter than usual. Maybe because midsummer was the day when Twilight Town got closest to an actual sunrise, the day with the greatest amount of light. Starting tomorrow, it would only ever get darker until around Christmas, hence why the day was so special to the citizens.
“You’re special to me too, Roxas.”
Huh? He turned to Xion, surprised by her speaking up all of a sudden. She was smiling at him, and his heart jumped. He was special to her too. He was special to her too!
… But at the same time, he couldn’t help but feel that she was… Something still wasn’t quite right. “Xion?”
“It’s okay,” she said. “It’s just… I just wish I could tell you how.”
“Hey.” Xion’s hand was resting on the floor between them, and Roxas placed his on hers. When she didn’t pull away, he squeezed it lightly, in an attempt to reassure her somewhat. “Knowing that is enough for me Xixi.” Sure, he would like to know what this feeling of his was, but simply knowing that he was special to her too made him incredibly happy.
“But it isn’t enough for me.”
That was something else.
Xion sighed. “I want you to know how I feel about you,” she continued while purple freckles appeared on her skin. “But I just… I lack the words to describe it, as usual.”
She sounded so incredibly frustrated that it hurt, especially because he had no idea how to help her with this, or at the very least, cheer her up a little bit. “Maybe there is another way than words,” he tried anyways, even though that probably wasn’t any help either.
Xion drew her hand away and reached into her pocket, but clearly hesitated. Did he say something wrong?
“There might be another way,” she said quietly. It was almost a whisper. “But… You won’t like it.”
This admittedly made him a bit nervous – but he didn’t care. Showing him how she felt about him somehow was clearly important to her. It didn’t matter whether he would like the alternative for words or not, as long as it helped to make her wish come true. Besides, it couldn’t be that bad. “What is it?”
Xion took a breath, then she pulled her hand out of her pocket. She was holding a red cable with two equally shaped plugs on both ends. They were flat and fairly narrow, and the metal part was just a bit shorter than the plug of Roxas’ headphones. He swallowed at the sight of it – he knew this particular cable and what it meant, even without Xion saying it.
“We could try to sync.”
The issue with that was not that he didn’t know whether it was safe or not – Even had actually tried this out together with Xion and Naminé not too long ago. The issue wasn’t even that Roxas had never attempted a sync himself before.
It was just that he was incredibly scared of getting a cable plugged into his wrist. Even thinking about it gave him chills.
Sure, doing it enabled him to do some cool stuff, like not having to pick up his gummiphone every time he wanted to switch songs when listening to music, but being connected to some sort of computer always made him feel like a Nobody again.
Even had once explained that human bodies, which Replica bodies emulated, worked in cycles, or rhythms, out of which the heart was only the most obvious one. They changed frequently in relation to physical activity and environmental factors, but also in response to emotions – and reverse. If the rhythms were influenced by an external factor, like music (probably the reason why music had been a taboo in the Organization), emotions could be influenced as well. Even called it the physio-psychological correlation.
Machines had rhythms too, but contrary to the many harmonious rhythms of a human body, which created a flow, theirs were a completely synchronized pulse.
Whenever some kind of data was transferred between a computer and a Replica body, some kind of synchronization was needed to establish a connection. While his body emulated human rhythms most of the time, it could also sustain itself on a machine rhythm, at least temporarily. But doing so had an effect on his emotions – it made him apathetic, like the machine was actively suppressing his emotions. Like he was back to zombie stage again.
That was why he preferred to avoid using his port as much as possible.
He knew Xion wasn’t a computer, even though she, like him, was technically a human-machine-hybrid. She probably had a flow as well, as opposed to a machine’s pulse, so it wouldn’t feel the same, but still… And what if their bodies jumped into “machine mode” in order to sync?
Roxas sighed. He was about to say “no” – but he couldn’t, because it was Xion who asked this of him. Xion, who wanted him to know how she felt about him so badly. How could he say “no”?
He swallowed. “Okay.”
“Roxas, you know you don’t have to do this for me…”
“I know,” he said. “But I’m going to do it anyways.”
“Roxas…” The look on her face made his heart beat faster. “Thank you.”
Xion was beaming, and for a moment, it was like she was the sun. He even felt a lot warmer than before. Whatever was coming – this alone made it worth it.
“Do you want to go first?”, Xion asked kindly as she handed him one end of the dual cable.
Roxas sighed. He knew she was trying to make it a little easier for him, but nothing would ever change the fact that he hated sticking a cable into his wrist. Nonetheless, he reached for the end of the cable she offered him – but he hesitated taking it. The thought of pushing a cable into his wrist gave Roxas chills, but actually doing it made him feel sick to his stomach. He knew it wasn’t the same but…
His hand trembled. He couldn’t do this.
“I’m sorry, Xion.”
She shook her head. “It’s alright, Roxas. I know you hate this.” She lowered her head. “I think I’m the one who has to apologize to be honest. I shouldn’t have asked this of you…”
She shouldn’t apologize, Roxas thought. It wasn’t her fault after all. He had held out hope that he could do this for her, only to disappoint. If anything, it was his fault. Why couldn’t she just be mad at him for this?
“Don’t apologize, Xion.”
He couldn’t leave it like this. He just couldn’t. This was important to her. But to do it, they had to get that cable into his wrist somehow. And if he couldn’t do it himself…
Roxas stretched out his left arm towards her. His hand was shaking, but he didn’t care. Anything to make this possible – for her. “Can…” He swallowed. The words felt like they got stuck in this throat.
“Can you do it for me, Xixi?”
It came out as a whisper, so quiet that he almost wasn’t able to understand what he was saying himself.
But Xion heard him anyways. She looked at him in surprise. “Roxas… Are you sure?”
He nodded. “Please.”
Roxas was used to other people doing it for him, ever since the first time shortly after the hospital situation. Even had been the one to do it and while he had been rather careful, it had taken Roxas completely by surprise, since no one had bothered to tell him what the weird thing on his wrist was for in the first place.
After that, he had never really been able to shove the cable into his own wrist, unlike the other two. Even Naminé didn’t bat an eye when she did it, although he knew she didn’t like the feeling of being connected to a computer either. So at least he wasn’t alone with that. Sheesh, he would never understand how Xion didn’t mind that aspect of their existence, and even enjoyed it at times!
Roxas flinched when she finally took his hand.
He realized Xion had never done this for him before, which was kind of funny since he usually needed help with it, either because his arm was shaking too much or he outright couldn’t do it by himself like now…
He gasped when he felt her gently rubbing her thumb across his hand.
Roxas had expected a firm grip on his wrist and her just getting over with it, simply and plainly like everyone else did. But Xion…
“You’re tense,” she murmured as she ran her other hand up his arm, brushing his skin with her fingertips.
To his surprise, Roxas found himself relaxing a bit, even as she slipped his wristband up his arm. It hid his port underneath, and Roxas never took it off unless he had to wash it (he had a few spares), and he wore a different, water-resistant one for showering. They all did.
The port itself was pretty unspectacular. If one didn’t look closely, they might even have overlooked it. It was really just a slight bump on his skin, with a hole that faced into the direction of his palm. Still, Roxas didn’t like seeing it – and yet, he couldn’t look away whenever it was not covered…
“Look at me, Roxas.”
… except for when he looked at Xion. He could always look at her, even when she wasn’t looking at him like now.
“What color are my freckles?”
“Uh…” He swallowed. “They’re blue.”
Out of all her colors, blue was the most mysterious one. By now, he had been able to figure out the meaning of each one he had seen on her, except this one. Blue seemed to appear completely by chance.
“Can you tell me which kind of blue?”
That would be more difficult. He was pretty sure Naminé could have instantly named the exact hue, but Roxas wasn’t good or even interested in that stuff too much. So he just tried describing it instead.
“It’s a vibrant one, but not too…” What was the word again?
“Saturated?”, he guessed. “I don’t know, Xion, it’s hard to describe…”
“Can you try it anyways?”, she asked.
Roxas nodded. “It isn’t a bright blue,” he continued. “I think it has a certain… Depth to it?” That sounded incredibly stupid… “It’s actually a really nice color, pleasant to look at…”
“Okay, that’s enough for me.” She looked at him and smiled. “Thank you.”
“No problem, Xi-…” He felt her pulling his wristband down again, gently and carefully, and when he looked at his wrist once more, he could see the cable poking out from underneath. Now he understood what she had been doing – and it had worked. Roxas hadn’t felt a thing.
A grateful smile washed over his face. “Thank you, Xion. For distracting me.”
She shook her head. “Thank you, Roxas. For agreeing to this.”
How could he not? This seemed so important to her…
“Ready?”
Xion had taken the other end of the cable, and looked ready to put it into her port. For a short moment, Roxas was about to panic once more, but he tried to keep it down. For her.
He swallowed and nodded. “Ready.”
“Alright.”
Roxas took a deep breath and closed his eyes as he braced himself for the unknown.
His eyelids twitched.
Being connected to each other felt a lot different than being connected to a machine. Sure, there was this sudden awareness of the many different rhythms his bodies usually worked in and the flow created by this, but he couldn’t feel a steady, rhythmic pulse on the other end. Instead, Xion had her own unique flow, one that felt much calmer than his own, despite how unpredictable it seemed at the very same time.
Roxas would have liked it, if he wasn’t so terribly aware of how his own flow was heavily affected by his nervousness, and how it could theoretically affect her as well. They were connected after all. Even if it didn’t happen by accident, Roxas was well aware that they needed to establish some harmony between their flows for Xion’s idea to work, which meant…
Xion lightly touched his fingertips. “It’s okay if you don’t want to continue,” she whispered. “We can stop.”
Roxas shook his head. “I just don’t want to affect you, Xion.”
“Let me worry about that part,” she said, and Roxas could have sworn she smiled, despite not seeing it because his eyes were still closed. “Just try to relax, okay?”
He trusted her. “Okay.”
With that worry out of the way, he tried to focus on the connection, on her flow over his own. It felt pleasant – and warm, which surprised him a bit, because he hadn’t thought it could feel that way. Even though he knew that this could change at any given time, especially with him on the other end of the connection, it made him feel a bit calmer. He distantly wondered how his own flow felt like to her for a second.
Until both flows just… Dissolved.
One by one, his individual rhythms seemed to dissect themselves from his flow, dissolving it entirely in the process. There was no longer a messy flow, there was a multitude of rhythms now, more or less harmonious with each other, and every single one rather fast compared to Xion’s calmer ones.
This was overwhelming. It was too much.
Roxas pressed his eyelids together more tightly. He wanted to scream… No, he just wanted it to stop. But who knew what would happen if he just cut off the connection now…
In an attempt to distract himself, Roxas started to hum a little tune.
It was nothing he had ever heard before, completely improvised. That way, he had to focus on matching the individual notes rather than simply repeating something he already knew. He did this often when he tried to calm himself down.
To his surprise, Xion joined in after a few notes. Roxas almost stopped humming himself. Xion almost never hummed, let alone even sang. While she did have a wonderful voice in his opinion, she just didn’t like using it very much, and Roxas respected that. She didn’t have to if she didn’t want to.
But now she did, and Roxas loved every single second of it, especially since he got to hum and create a tune alongside her. They stringed it together, note after note, and while Roxas provided the melody and Xion the accompaniment in the beginning, he soon found that he couldn’t quite tell which was which anymore. What had started as an improvised tune soon evolved into a harmonious overture, by no means perfect, but pleasant to listen to.
Suddenly, there was a new flow between them.
Their rhythms weren’t completely synchronized, but harmonious in a way that allowed them to melt into each other, while still being individuals – a bit like the music they created.
By now, he could not just feel her flow on the other end of the connection. He could feel her entire being, like they were becoming one for as long as this connection lasted. Despite that, Roxas still felt like himself, and he knew Xion did as well. He… He even liked being connected to her like this. Even if it meant shoving a cable into his wrist… Actually, he could get used to that, if it meant they could do this more often.
Xion was amazed how that little bit of humming had helped Roxas to calm down and form this connection. She definitely wasn’t going to become an enthusiastic singer, but she didn’t regret using her voice this time, just like Roxas didn’t regret letting himself in for this experiment. They both enjoyed the connection.
He reached for her hand by moving his own forward a bit, so their palms were touching. The touch was like a question, asking whether she was feeling the same.
Xion gently laced their fingers together. His hand was so warm, and the touch prickled a bit on her skin due to excitement.
Xion’s feelings were different from Roxas’, but they felt just as strong. She didn’t have the urge to protect as much as he did, and the metaphorical butterflies in her stomach were something Roxas had never experienced at all. He knew the warmth that came alongside them however, as well as the feeling of being about to overflow.
It was something Xion felt for no one else, a deep-running connection that went far beyond the current harmony of their bodily rhythms. Far deeper than it was reasonable. She didn’t care about that however, all she wanted… Actually, she didn’t want anything right now. Just having Roxas here with her, alive and well, was more than enough for her. He was more than enough for her.
He had his flaws, by all means, just like she did. Neither of them were perfect, and maybe they weren’t even perfect for each other, but neither of them cared. Who they were and what they saw in each other – they didn’t want to change any of that.
Their only wish was to stay with each other like this.
Xion opened her eyes and smiled. “So…” She sounded quiet, almost reverent. “This is… Love?”
Roxas still didn’t know for sure. But was there really a way to know for sure at the end of the day?
He shrugged. “Does it really matter?”, he asked. “All I know is that…” How was he supposed to say this? There wasn’t really a description… It was something just between the two, and nobody else. It was real – a reminder that they were real too. Nothing could ever change that. Roxas gave up. There was no reason to not say it like that.
“I think I love you, Xion.”
In that moment, the butterflies of light in Xion’s stomach were finally released for good. They had waited too long for the right time to fly, and now it was finally there. It was like an explosion of emotion, strong enough to even invoke physical feelings – the complete opposite to the empty void that had been their existence as Nobodies. They went everywhere, brightening up their surroundings as they filled it with all the colors they were made of. Roxas felt like a few of them brushed his skin.
Xion brought her free hand to his cheek. She only touched him lightly with her fingertips, as if she were asking a question, and Roxas answered it by leaning into it. Not too much, but enough to feel her palm too.
“Roxas…” He knew what she was going to say, but nothing could replace the feeling of hearing it from her with his own ears.
“I love you too.”
And with that, the music evolved into a symphony.
A tear dripped on Xion’s fingertip, and Roxas realized that he was crying. And Xion – a few tears ran down her cheeks as well. They were both overflowing now.
Roxas sighed in bliss and leaned his forehead against hers. He didn’t want this moment to end, but since everything eventually did, he wanted to relish in it as much as he could. “Can I kiss you?”
He knew her answer already, thanks to the ongoing connection between them, but hearing it from her just felt so much better.
Xion smiled, and he could swear her blue freckles had gotten more intense. Now he finally knew what they meant. “I was just about to ask the same.”
Love is free, free is love Love is living, living love Love is needing to be loved – John Lennon, Love
#RXWeek2021#RokuShi Day#Kingdom Hearts#KH Fanfiction#RokuShi#Roxas#Xion#Fandom#Fanwork#Fanfiction#RokuShi Week#RokuShi Week 2021#RokuShi Day 2021#Currantlee writing#Currantlee completed#Currantlee completed Story#Currantlee completed KH Fanfic
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I got super drunk and tried to explain the plot of Kingdom Hearts: Part 1
I won’t post the whole thing here cause it’s like 7 pages long but here are the highlights of Union X and BBS:
-Ok so firsth theres this bitch ass punk named the master of masters and hes’ the reason we can’t have nice things
-He got all his apprentices together and was like “hey here’s this book of prophecies and shit from the future and you’re all gonna die including me BUT! You each have a role to play in the impending doom! Yaaaaayyy! Ira you get to be the leader. Aced you get to be the second leader (don’t usurp the first leader cause that would lead to the keyblade war ;) ). Invi you get to be a SNEK and also do nothing. Gula you get the page nobody else has and to be a ktity cat. And you dance dance dane and you dance dance dance. OK? Ava you have to get a bunch of special sunshine wielders and call them the dandelions and send them to the digital world. That is providing this isn’t the digital world, which I’m not sure of because I am DRUNK. Spoilers.
-And then Ven goes into teh future and also probably Lauriam and Elrena and Maleficent’s there too? Idk why??? Why are we wasting time on the past when nomura could be telling us how Riku makes pancakes for Sora and Kairi every mornig. Idk.
-Ven is now in the future and Master Xehanort (RIP Leonard Nimoy, I love oyu) Is training him but Ven isn’t edgy enough so Xehanort splits him in two with his Keyblade (idk why this never happens to anyone else?)
-ANyways Xehanort stops by Eraqus’s place and is like “Hi i have a comatose child help him please also I won’t pay child support byeeeee”
-LIke a few years later Terra and Aqua are taking their Mark of Mastery exam and Eraqus is like “Hey Xehabro you wanna come see how well my kids are doing?
-So he comes in and FUCKS UP Himbo Terra’s exam so he thinks he’s drenched in the power of Darkness. And then Xehanort goes to Maleficent and is like “hey you know what would be hilarous? Trick Himbo Man into stealing Aurora’s heart! Also this is liket he only time the Disney wolds will be relevant to the canon! Aint that neat?”
-Anyway a lot of stuff happens and they meet up again in Hollow Bastion where we see ittle widdle Ienzo and Even who does not age. And is a good candidate for a vampire. We also see Isa and Lea as a precious lil baby waby. And we meet tiny Kairi! Cute. Anyway the wayfinder trio all runs into eachother there and Himbo’s like “why are you spying on me” and Aqua’s like “cause you fuckin stole some girl’s heart???? Wtf???”And ventus is like “TERRAAAA PLEASE LOVE ME” and then Terra doesn’t for some reason. It would’ve been great they would’ve wandered around the galazy, like broz, like Han and Chewy, it woulda been great but Terra needs to fall to the darkness I guess so he goes off alone.
-And then they go to the destiny islands and Terra decides “Hey you know this purple haired kid I just met? I’m gonna give him my legacy which I may only have one of. Idk it’s not explained.” and then he does it. Sora doesn’t see any of this. Which is fine.
-Ven goes back to his dad and is liek “Hey dad what’s a X-blade also I met an edgy man who says he was my darkness. Hey if you knew about this why didn’t you do anything before.” And Eraqus is like “No more questions time for death!!” And Terra swoops in and is like “HEY NO” and Eraqus is like “OMFG Kylo?”
-Ven goes comatose and is left in the chamber of waking (which is stupid because he spends most of his time in tehre sleepigng, but unfortunately the developers didn’t ask ME.)
-Back at the graveyard, Terra and Xehanort fight and xehanort shoves his heart inside Terra’s body but surprise surprise! Eraqus is in there too and Xehanorr’s all “You sly foxy daddy” and Terra turns into the Lingering Will. Which is like a Nobody but cooler. Also why don’t Sora Riku Kairi Lea Xion and Roxas get armor?! It’d be so cool. Anyway the Lingering Will gets really tired after the fight with Xehanort and is like “I’m gonna take a ten year nap and also make myself a cape! Goodnight”
-Aqua hunts him down and Aqua’s like “im master Aqua and by the power vested in me by everyone whose waifu i am get the hell outta my Himbo” and Himbonort is like “No go sit in the realm of darkness for a while” and then she does
#BBS#KHBBS#Birth By Sleep#kingdom hearts birth by sleep#kh birth by sleep#wayfinder trio#terra#kingdom hearts terra#Terranort#aqua#kingdom hearts aqua#ven#KH Ven#ventus#kh ventus
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Lol, probably because everyone being so and so is such a thing for fans it seeds into everything else. Xp I know Yozora and the MoM are the ones everyone is crazy about (he's Sora. he's Riku. No he's both, bleh). But Player and Xehanort are the two characters right now I'm wondering about because I have no idea why/how they're connected at all. What happened to Player? Why was Xehanort picked to have dreams of ancient memories? I can't wait to see how Dark Road and Union end for the answers.
Yeah, but why is it such a thing for everyone? Yozora and the MoM I can kind of understand. Yozora we know was body-swapped (though if you pay attention to his dialogue, then I think it’s pretty easy to come to the conclusion that he’s a new character named Yozora in the body of a new character that hasn’t been named yet because... we’ve never seen a character that looks like “Yozora” before) and the Master’s never shown his face (though you’d think the fact that he has different voice than anyone else in the series and none of his apprentices show their faces, either, might just indicate that he’s a new character like they all are)
But at least those two have extenuating circumstances where we haven’t actually been shown their real faces yet! And even for them, I think the fandom’s waaaaaaaaay off the mark (KHUx’s update today confirmed that the MoM was bound to the normal rules of time travel which really eliminated “he’s secretly Sora” to me even more) because they’re either not paying attention to or don’t understand the rules of the universe this story takes place in
Look, I just legitimately don’t think that Nomura would use the exact same twist more than once. He blew the possession angle on Luxu, he blew the Nobody angle with Roxas all the way back in KH2, and I’d even say he blew the time-traveling alternate self angle with Young Xehanort because that was somehow supposed to be a twist in DDD (though I guess it might’ve been if you’re including his bonus boss appearance in BBS)
I’m reminded of that one old Sherlock Holmes quote: “Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.” Except no one’s going through to eliminate the impossible first and then pick what they find most probable from whatever is left; they’re picking from a pool that they haven’t thinned out at all and most of the time I see people picking the impossible (or at least the very easy to contradict and cast doubt on). It’s pointless to propose a legitimate theory as something that either you genuinely believe or that you want others to believe if you haven’t asked yourself “has canon disproved part of my statement yet?” You run the risk of proposing the impossible if you don’t
You wanna have a crack theory that you genuinely don’t believe is true? That’s fine. You wanna come up with something that’s improbable but might make a cool AU? Go for it. Crossover headcanon? Sure, I guess. But when you present something that you’re claiming is your best guess as to how you expect the canon will go, it should really follow the rules canon has laid out, which means you have to research those rules first
#kingdom hearts#via a technicality because this veered into just general fandom commentary#i think matpat can be entertaining but i do kinda hate how he's diluted the definition of the word 'theory'#for fandom discourse in particular#the actual distinction between theory and hypothesis had already been diluted by the time his channel started up#i wish we could bring the proper definitions back because they do MEAN something#as for xehanort i don't think he was 'chosen' for any more reason than ven was#he was the one who was recorded in the book of prophecies so that's who was targeted#now whether he has player's memories to goad him into that role or deter him from it is unclear#the end result is the same though; he ends up following the mom's plan perfectly#so it ultimately might have no higher significance than showing us who's pulling the strings#anon asks#liz answers
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Chapter 10 for Atone and Repay is at about the 56% mark and I should be able to get more of it done in the next week, maybe get it up soon. Chapter 11 shouldn’t take nearly as long, since I’ve been working on that one alongside Chapter 10. As a thanks for putting up with my excessively long hiatus, here’s a preview for Chapter 10 below the cut! I’ve been working on this chapter since I published Chapter 9 last year, but a majority of this chapter was written in the past few months. Thank you again for sticking with me, and I hope to have “Once More” up on Ao3 sometime in the next few weeks! <3
(Be warned, has direct spoilers for AAR, please consider reading the full story before reading this ^^)
“So much for leaving home...And here I thought I’d get to go on a real journey for once…” Ventus huffed, dragging his tired, armored legs across the stone floor outside his castle home. Night had fallen on the Land of Departure, and it was getting increasingly cold with each passing second.
Ventus’ pulled the helmet off his head, making his blond spikes spring back up as he did so. He stole a glance at the clouded skies, spotting the first specks of snow that fluttered down. The cold wind pressed against his face, soothing the small pain from the scratch that he still had on his cheek.
It’d only been a few hours since the Nobodies attacked them in the mansion, but it felt like it could’ve been months ago. Roxas’ unsuspecting body being hurled across the room, through a doorway and crashing down into the broken table and chandelier. The desolate look on his face, his eyes unblinking and heart beating all too slow. He must’ve had a concussion, even after Aqua administered some healing spells. He had still been slurring his words and glancing around the room as if he had not escaped the memory from the past.
It only gave rise to worry when he insisted on searching the mansion still. Standing up from his spot on the table and tumbling forward as Terra and Riku tried to get him to sit down. And then Roxas fell over seconds after standing up.
Would that they hadn’t encountered those Nobodies, or that Roxas hadn’t fallen at such a precarious moment. He wouldn’t recover within an hour, and Aqua made the decision to go back home. To take a break and simply breathe rather than throwing themselves into the next piece of this puzzle they couldn’t solve. It had been several nights since anyone in the castle got good rest, being awoken by Ventus’ screams at painful nightmares, or the everyday trauma that seemed to haunt them all.
Being back home was reassuring, at least. Ventus knew this place, better than anywhere else he may have lived in the past. He knew the halls, and where he could sleep without someone bothering him. He knew the mountains where they trained, and he knew the forest far and below them. It was a small world, but it was a haven. Even if Nobodies had proven they could reach here.
The dark corridor he’d walked through was ever shifting and threatening to close if someone had lost his grip on the darkness. It was sketchy to let Roxas bring them home, after being knocked out in such a manner and with a blur of new memories at the front of his mind.
But Roxas stepped through it just fine. His hood was draped over his head, giving way to only tired, blue eyes and a small frown. The chains rattled on his chest and he leaned forward to keep himself from falling. He still wasn’t fully healed, and he may not have been for some time.
The tip of his boot snagged a crack in the cement, throwing off his already shaken balance. Roxas’ eyes popped open and he started falling forward, the hood over his head slipping onto his back and exposing his frightened face. Fortunate that Ventus had walked through the portal first, his armored frame caught Roxas’ against his chest and kept his friend from face planting against the stone.
Roxas’ body fell limp against Ventus. The latter, who nearly shrieked at the sight, kept his arms around Roxas and held him up. Roxas’ head was resting over Ven’s shoulder, eyes staring at the ground beneath him and Ventus. A bandage still resting over his skin to help a new scar heal.
“Yeah, no, I was wrong,” Ventus hauled his friend up as he started to slip back down to the concrete. “You’re hurt more than you told Aqua. I’ll tell her when she gets here.”
Ventus sighed and shifted his arms around. He pulled Roxas’ left arm over his shoulder and kept one hand around his friend’s back, already starting to drag him towards the castle. Roxas didn’t seem entirely conscious, but as Ventus started walking, he tried to pick up his feet and walk with him.
Ventus kept his eyes on the doors of the castle, stepping up the stairs one at a time. Roxas’ head lolled around aimlessly next to him, as if he were still passed out. But if Ventus glanced over, he could see Roxas blinking and taking deep breaths, brows furrowed with a frown planted on his face.
He looked back towards the doors, already nearing the last step. “You feeling okay, besides that?”
“No…”
That much probably should’ve been obvious. A concussion alone doesn’t feel good. Whatever else was bothering him didn’t help.
“What’s wrong?”
“I hurt Vanitas…”
Ventus almost stopped in his tracks, hesitating to take the next step up. But he kept going. He let go of Roxas’ arm over his shoulder, letting the Nobody lean his whole weight into Ventus instead. He reached forward and pushed the doors open with one simple nudge. Such was the benefit of living in a magically-imbued castle.
“He’s fine, I’m sure. Don’t worry about him right now,” Ventus tried to reassure. But looking once again at Roxas, he could tell his words had little effect.
“I can’t stop worryinaboudim...”
Roxas’ words were slurring again, but he wasn’t impossible to understand. Ventus kept dragging his body along the hallway and towards the staircases at the very back of the corridor. The clanks of Ventus’ armor echoed around them. The hall was dark with no practical light source. It was almost hard to see where the tiles ended and the staircase began.
“That’s kind of you to worry about him, really,” Ventus pulled Roxas a little more over his shoulder. “But he’s fine. You saw Aqua treating him, she said that whatever happened had passed.”
“That’s not what I mean…” Roxas mumbled out. His shoes bumped each step as Ventus climbed the stairs. “I can’t stop thinking about it.”
The older of the two kept his silence. Perhaps he didn’t quite understand yet.
“I shouldn’t care as much as I do,” his eyes flicked across each step as they climbed. “He’s the one that tried to-”
Roxas’ breath hitched. That still haunted him. What happened on that beach, and what he’d almost done in Radiant Garden. Just trying to say anything about it pressed down on his heart and started rejuvenating a deep-rooted fear in him. Something he thought he’d gotten over when his heart sprung free from Sora’s and he was finally given a body of his own again. When he would no longer be confined to another person’s soul.
Alas, that was an unfortunate lie. Vanitas had no regrets for his volatile actions against Roxas. He’d hardly issued an apology.
“You don’t have to tell me, I know what he did,” Ventus kept talking, noting how much Roxas was struggling to speak. “And I’m sorry, I really am. I wish I’d known better then.”
In a way, it was Ventus’ fault what happened. If he’d stopped Roxas from running off to Radiant Garden in the first place, he never would’ve ended up in the Realm of Darkness. If Ven and Sora had never fought Vanitas in the graveyard, he wouldn’t have been there to grab hold of Roxas’ body. And if he hadn’t been so weak all those years ago, Vanitas would never have…
The doors to the west wing were propped open and closed as Ven tugged his friend up the stairs. Ventus did most of the lifting, Roxas’ boots hardly attempting to step on each stair and scraping over the edges. It wasn’t helped by his armor, which was heavy enough on its own.
A part of him wanted to tell Roxas to at least try to help make this easier. But another knew too well that he’d be asking too much. His friend had already taken a beating today, both physical and emotionally. Slamming his head into a broken chandelier and having been forced to relive dangerously painful memories was more than enough for one day. He deserved a reprieve, even if brief.
Roxas’ room was lit from the gentle moon outside his window. Frost edged the glass and gave the room chills that he didn’t think possible, even if covered in his armor.
Dragging his twin to the bed was easier said than done, with Roxas’ shoes scraping across the floor and his body slowly dozing off. Ventus shook him as he pulled, saying, “Don’t fall asleep yet.”
Roxas gave no verbal reply, but his head nodded, which was indication enough that he heard and understood Ven.
He gently dumped Roxas onto the bed, letting him find his place before letting go entirely. Roxas leaned against the soft mattress, then practically fell into it. His eyes shut and he groaned.
“I’ll go get Aqua as soon as she gets home. For now, just rest,” Ven folded his arms over each other. Roxas lazily blinked twice, throwing a glance at Ven, before turning his eyes back to whatever else was on his mind.
Just a few days ago, he’d been so resolute in helping Ventus remember everything, even if it meant he’d suffered the consequences. But now he appeared utterly drained. It could’ve just been the awful beating he’d had from the Nobodies and whatever darkness possessed Vanitas. But that hopeful attitude seemed bleak now.
Aqua had ordered that Vanitas be taken back home through anything but a dark portal. Ready as she was to give that same order to Roxas, she thought it better to keep the two separated. Vanitas’ prey had been Roxas during his previous outburst. If they couldn’t contain it a second time, with the Nobody in such a weak state now, there’d be no protecting him.
After he’d come back from his venture in past memories, Roxas only stayed conscious for a few minutes before he was falling over. Even Naminé’s safe return was not enough to move him back to full recovery. Rather when he saw his dear friend walk through the door of the mansion with Kairi and Xion by her side, he tripped on his own feet trying to run up to her.
Roxas was sent home, even if his method of travel was still risky at best. The only thing that made Aqua agree in the first place was when Ventus swore he wouldn’t let anything happen.
But something had already happened. Whatever Roxas saw had much more drastic effects than anything before. He’d almost always been willing to share what hazy details he could remember from the dreams and the memories that he glimpsed. But this time, even when Ventus had asked him about it, Roxas didn’t say a thing.
Ventus kept staring at his friend. He couldn’t keep to himself and finally spoke up:
“So what else happened?”
Roxas hardly moved, much less spoke.
“You’ve never been quiet about this before. Was it really that bad?”
Roxas kept to himself for a moment, but only a moment. As if pondering the words in his head before he dared to speak them.
“It’s nothing to do with the memories.”
Ventus blinked twice. He wasn’t expecting that answer. “Then what is it?”
“Vanitas tried to hurt me,” Roxas mumbled.
“Well...yes, he did.”
“But I’m not worried about myself at all.”
Ven’s eyes narrowed.
“Why am I only worried about him?” Roxas’ fingers curled into his hand. “After everything that he did?”
“I don’t know…”
Roxas started to move again, trying to sit upright. His palms pressed against the mattress and he leaned backwards. Still shaky and tired, but he managed it all on his own.
“Is it...what I did for him?” He lifted up a palm and clutched at the front of his coat. “Or what he did to me?”
Ventus knew exactly what he meant. Had his and Vanitas’ union, albeit temporary, truly caused this kind of change? It could explain why Roxas seemed to get over it so fast, or even why he put up with Vanitas at all. It may even explain why Vanitas was suddenly so willing to follow him and Ventus around, or help them with anything.
But the implications of such were harrowing to think of. Roxas was already tempered by his connection to Sora, and now this connection to Ventus. The boy has never truly been just himself. He’s always had bits and pieces of others in there, to influence his choices or pass along certain traits. Maybe even to store memories or keep pieces of a heart safe while it was still recovering.
He’d hardly ever known what it is to be himself. The one thing he must’ve yearned for more than anything, yet bound from him by the cruel fetters of fate.
If it truly was that connection between him and Vanitas that was turning his decisions or guiding his choices, what would that mean for him and Ventus? The two must’ve shared a similar connection. How would that have-
Ventus shook his head. No, that’s not it. Roxas isn’t bound by other people like he used to be. He may still be Sora’s Nobody, but he has his own heart, his own body. He isn’t anyone besides himself.
Ventus would’ve preferred to remember what was said of Roxas and Vanitas’ first meeting, on those dark shores. When Vanitas was drifting away and Roxas refused to let him go.
“I doubt it,” Ventus muttered. “You were there at his side before any of that happened.”
Roxas looked to his friend once, then back down at the floor beneath his boots.
“You didn’t care that it was Vanitas who was on that beach. You just wanted to keep him company, maybe even help him in whatever way you could,” Ven offered a smile. “You’re willing to put other people before your own needs. That’s just the kind of person you are.”
As much as he hoped the words would be of comfort to Roxas, Ven wasn’t entirely sure it worked. His twin kept staring at the ground, deep blue eyes staring at nothing but the dead air between them.
Roxas took a deep breath in and let it out slowly, “Unless there’s-”
Before he could say another word, an armored hand landed on his left shoulder and pulled him away from his thoughts. Roxas looked up to meet Ven’s gaze, who looked a bit more frustrated than before.
“You’re still you, Roxas,” Ventus gave him a shake, pulling his fleeting thoughts out of whatever dark tangent they were going on. “Nothing is going to change that. What you did for Vanitas was your own choice. You could’ve let Terra take care of everything, and then we wouldn’t have Vanitas here at the castle with us.”
Roxas kept staring, already recalling that day. The darkness had been tugging on his very soul. But as soon as he saw Vanitas’ disheveled body, the darkness pouring out of his shattered heart... Suddenly it didn’t matter that Roxas was about to turn into a Heartless. The only thing he cared about was to give any comfort he could to the dying boy.
“You chose to help Vanitas. And I know, it didn’t have much pay-off...but you saved his life. That was all you, Roxas. Nobody else.”
I did save him… That was a choice that I made.
Roxas lowered his head, closing his eyes and taking another, much needed breath of air. As he exhaled, the smallest smirk appeared on his face. “Alright,” he mumbled. “True enough.”
Ventus felt relief flutter through his chest. He stepped away from Roxas, letting his friend have a little breathing room.
Roxas looked again at Ven, but not at his friend’s face. Rather what he was wearing.
“...You have armor?” Roxas mumbled as he looked Ven up and down.
And just as he was regaining hope for Roxas’ wellbeing, Ven felt that hope shatter. Ventus stared at his friend, unsure of how to respond. He glanced down at his attire once, then back at Roxas’ baffled expression. “You KNOW I have armor.”
“I do?”
Ven’s shoulders drooped and his eyes narrowed. “Oh my-” He sighed in such an overly exasperated way. “Alright, I’m healing you myself.”
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