#to answer: Scarlet is not stated to defect
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Short answer: naruto online is a deeply unserious game when it comes to the protagsâ integrity with canon
Long answer: The protagonists have some lore but even within the game content and advertisements a lot of their interactions with canon characters can be contradictory. In theory, every protag is on Team 7 with Kakashi (how is this solved in game-verse where the player is supposed to be maining the one true protag but the rest also exist? *shrug*). Then again, one of the official videos implies that in game canon they are spread across other teams including the Sand Siblings (Breeze).
links: basic now-canon profiles, other canon profiles that for some reason aren't used anymore but have additional info, promo home page pictures with each protag's nindĹ, one protag per team splitting vid, storyboard of the initial game trailer with the protags as kids, Orichara fan OCs redrawn by Kishimoto
"go yell at my worthless son" yes ma'am on my way ma'am
#if Iâm unknowingly annoying please tell me to stop and I will#just. as someone who is playing this game for the protags only and has an archive blog here for their loreâŚ#also this reminds me to post the official cinematic trailer too bc somehow I havenât done that yet#naruto online#tbh most of the time the protags lore is like. what we have in the profiles + looking a bit too deeply into their voice lines#and for extra points looking up Chinese/Japanese mythology and folklore for the outfits so interpretations can be made#to answer: Scarlet is not stated to defect#(tho the OC Kishimoto used as base for him was a missing nin from Ame)#you can choose to play him while on the mission with Sasuke tho#Tencent gave up on giving the protags any real input in the story early enough tbh#the scenario is that you stumble upon Sasuke (or are sent to look for him? been a while since I read that translated)#and just lend a hand in combat#tbh the main problem with naruto online is the clash of canon story mode with game mechanics (alive dead people and various units of one)#oh we also had some minor retcons (Midnight's intelligence stat afaik)#OH and sorry for the lack of translations dfbdkfd#I have had them done through a comm but just never got to posting those#I need to find vocabulary to differentiate between lore from in-game text; lore from game mechanics; lore from official videos and ads; and#some other small categories#for example 'is it canon if it was a meme video posted on official account?' who knows#I really should've chosen sth different to get into at age 17#the ninja kids
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hello self - tumblr continues to hate us so let's just post this way #yolo
Can the past truly be rewritten? Can one simply erase the thunder and rain, leaving behind only the rainbows and sunshine? Can the imperfections be ushered away with the eraser shavings? Or will they remain engrained into the page â its presence serving as a reminder that no one can escape their past.
The answer of course, is that the past cannot be rewritten.
Recently, there were three people, connected by destiny, who struggled to accept this fact. Unfortunately, you were included in said group. But instead of surrendering, you chose to wield your stubbornness as a sword, refusing to accept reality, and refusing to accept defeat. The truth of the matter was⌠you could not afford to concede. As if you did, you would never be able to return to the love that bathed your world in colour. And the world has stolen far too much from you â could you really survive if it stole him?
You needed to rewrite these last few months, if you didnât, every moment you shared with him would be tainted in a blinding crimson. The warnings issued by your best friend and sister were true â you knew that what your relationship needed was time. But you were absolutely terrified that time would not be enough to mend the damage. And so, your mind remained clouded with thoughts of fantasy and seized by fear.
âIâm leaving now, Tooru. Have fun at practice later.â A faint smile was presented in the setterâs direction, as you shoved your right hand into your jacket pocket.
âHave fun, y/n-y/n! But not too much fun.â The mocha haired male ripped his gaze away from the cellphone screen, before tossing a playful wink.
Rolling your eyes, a gentle laugh was pushed past your teeth. You were thankful that he remained oblivious to the surge of emotions thrashing against the thin mask you prepared for him. It was better this way â fake it until you make it, right?
As you began down the hallway, the clicking of your boots with the surface soon syncretized with your breathing, forcing it to a slower pace. Once in the elevator, you removed your hand from your pocket, analyzing it for any defects. The caffeine consumed earlier prompted tremors to claim your fingers. It was a miracle you were able to complete your texts without any mistakes. But it appeared that after steadying your breathing pattern, your limbs returned to regular functioning.
Maybe it would be okay. Everything would be okay.
The mantra was repeated internally until you reached the lobby, providing a boost of confidence to your step. Within a few seconds you were able to locate the one responsible for your frazzled mental state. The familiar black-haired male was stood outside the glass barriers with his eyes glued to the cement below. Dressed in blue jeans and a thin corduroy jacket, he sincerely outshined any models you were fortune enough to collaborate with. The sight flooded your senses with adoration, drowning out the remaining anxiety that inhibited your veins. When he caught onto your presence, a smile warmed his features and you found yourself unable to maintain a frown.
At the end of the day, he was still the same man you fell in love with. The same one who filled your days with love and happiness.
Perhaps that would be enough to override the scarlet rain that loomed over you.
âHi there.â When you joined your fiancĂŠ outside, a teasing smirk tugged at the ends of your lips. âLook at you, lookinâ like a whole ass snack.â
âWell, hello to you too. Iâm glad you approve of my outfit.â Joy glimmered in his grey irises while a low chuckle was expelled. He was skeptical in asking his brother for fashion guidance earlier, but it seemed that his twinâs advice was useful once again.
âAre you sure youâre not the model, and Iâm the cook in the relationship? I mean, I do make some mean onigiri.â Proceeding a step closer to him, you trailed the tips of your fingers along the sleeve of his coat, permitting your fingers to linger when you reached his wrist.
His eyes flickered to your wandering hand, and without missing a beat, he caught your fingers with his, weaving them together naturally. Truthfully, he wanted to embrace you or obtain some form of physical contact the second he laid eyes on you, what he was searching for was permission. He was unsure what boundaries were required under the circumstances, but he was thankful that he was still allowed to hold your hand.
âYou do. I have a lot to learn from you, chef.â With his gaze returning to yours, you were quick to notice how the physical contact eased him. Â
âYouâre so cheesy.â Clicking your tongue, you shook your head, feigning disappointment. The theatrical response served as a distraction from the heat flowing from his skin and the little tingles spreading along your arm. But when Osamu squinted at you with an adorable pout fixing onto his lips, your resolve to continue the performance was completely obliterated. He was only playing along with your charade, and yet his response had led you to shift tactics. âGood thing I like cheese!â
Amazing save, right?
âYeah, good thing.â The forced retort granted the cook a surge of confidence, and in a surprising movement, he leaned forward, pressing a small kiss to the tip of your nose. The exchange forced an imaginary clog to immediately form inside your throat. Needless to say, you did not see that coming.
In an attempt to dismiss the swirl of emotions his action instigated, you pushed away from him, before beginning down the pathway. Issuing a cough to clear your passageways, your attention was forced onto a random building. âOkay, come on. Weâve got a fifteen-minute walk to go. Follow me.â
Exhaling a laugh mixed with a sigh, he nodded, trailing close behind you.
âIâll follow you anywhere, y/n.â
The journey to the botanical garden was mostly filled with playful banter, and half-hearted laughter. Somehow you had successfully managed to fool yourself into thinking that everything was fine â that your relationship was not littered in punctures. It was peaceful; the fantasy you had created. It was safe.
The botanical garden that Osamu had selected for your first stop was laid out in the style of a French garden, with a green house that resembled a crystal palace. Breathtaking was surely an understatement, and for the first time since you joined him, Osamu found himself entranced by something other than your presence. Tightening his grip around your hand, he gently brushed his thumb against your skin in a soothing manner.
âThis is incredible.â The proclamation was accompanied by a wide-eyed expression. He was never into gardens; but even he was in awe at the sight ahead.
Humming in agreement, you shifted your attention to the centre fountain. It was your favourite spot on the land, and consequently where you took a picture of teddiursa for your Instagram page.
âIt feels like a fairy-tale garden, huh?â
The suggestion forced him to return his gaze to you, prompting you to raise an eyebrow quizzically. Â
âWith you here, it sure does.â He was evidently pleased with the corny statement, a fact that could be ascertained by the little twitch of his mouth. He was clearly attempting to suppress his laughter.
âYou better not be saying I am a princess, because you and I both know that is not true.â Contorting your features in artificial irritation, a little huff was discharged. But the theatrics were dismantled when he voiced his explanation, replacing irritation with surprise.
âOh, of course not. But even demons need a place to live.â
âDemon?!â Halting abruptly on the path, your mouth opened and shut twice as you struggled to find a suitable response.
âNot just a demon, the prettiest demon.â Finally releasing the laughter, he stored inside his chest, he tugged you into his embrace, before pressing his cheek against your head. A growl erupted inside of your throat as you begrudgingly rested your forehead against his chest.
âYeah yeah. Nice save.â
A comfortable silence blanketed over you two as you began along the pathway, observing and admiring the flower-filled beds and impeccably manicured geometric lawns. However, comfort slowly morphed into distress as you wandered deeper into the vined arches that connected the greenhouse and the âgarden of sensesâ. Without the distraction of conversation, it was straining to drown out the whispers issued by the little voice inside your head. The whispers gradually increased in volume until you could no longer differentiate your own voice from the creatures fuelling your anxiety.
It wonât last â this isnât real. It is solely a fantasy you have forced upon yourself to cope. He doesnât love you like he did â no matter what you do now⌠your love will always be infected with a fatal disease.
The featured attraction hosted only two other visitors; a couple. Â The happiness emanating from the couple stole the tiniest bit of sanity you were clinging to. Â And when the stranger knelt down on one knee, reaching for an item in his jacket, nausea bubbled inside your stomach. The sight should have not twisted your guts, tangling your organs â but it did. And it hurt. God, it hurt.
âHey, come here.â
Despite the waves of agony that came packaged with the sight ahead; you could not stop watching. Not until your fiancĂŠâs voice broke you from your trance. As you rubbed away at the tears hanging onto your lashes, Osamu guided you along the path until you reached an isolated portion of the garden. Once you were alone, and no longer in earshot of any others, he released your hand, then brushed through his hair in frustration.
âI know what youâre doing. You donât have to act okay, y/n. You donât have to force yourself to be happy.â The frustration was aimed at himself, for inadvertently pushing for some sense of normalcy. It was selfish for him to have wanted it â to have hoped for it. Â
âWell shit, guess I blew my cover.â The comment was coated in sarcasm, though you intended for it to sound lighter than it did. The tears resting upon the pads of your fingers did not also help the tense atmosphere.
âI need you to know that you have every right to be angry. Youâre allowed to hate me!â The latter of the sentence was vocalized in a lower octave, a detail that only brought you to feel defeated. Because you donât hate him, and you canât hate him. âI deserve it all. But if we really want to move on, it canât be like this.â Unsure what to do with himself, he shifted on the spot uncomfortably, tugging at his roots.
âYou idiot. I donât hate you. I hate this situation. I hate that it got to this.â Dragging a palm down your visage, a groan was muffled. âItâs fine. Can we just enjoy this, please?â
Just keep pretending that itâs okay. Keep pretending. Please. Let me keep pretending.
âNo. I canât enjoy it when youâre hurting.â Shaking his head, sorrow crossed his face, molding his features. âTalk to me. Tell me what I can do to lessen the pain.â A small step was advanced closer, he was seconds from capturing you in his arms once more, desperate to fix the pieces he damaged.
But his ambitions were momentarily abandoned when rageful sentiments ripped from your throat. âI want to start over. I want to erase what happened! Can you do that, âSamu?! Do you have a damn magic pencil and a magic storybook that can fix everything?!â Clenching your teeth, your eyelids narrowed into daggers. Of course, your question was unreasonable, you knew that. But you were exhausted, so damn exhausted and you didnât care.
You genuinely expected him to point out the flaws in your request, yet instead you were met with laughter. Pressing a palm against his stomach, the cook laughed loudly, even stumbling a step back in the process. At this point it was impossible to tell who was the insane one â him or you.
âAre you laughing at my pain, you sadistic gremlin?â Your mascara heavy eyelids fluttered open and shut as you strived to comprehend what was occurring.
Osamu raised a finger, silently requesting that you abandon your accusations as he composed himself.
âNo. Iâm laughing at the fact youâre screaming at me and referencing a tv show at the same time. Itâs the most you thing youâve done in a while.â Resuming his mission to eliminate the space between you, he caught your face with both of his palms, before aligning his forehead with yours. His reasons for breaking into laughter held some logic, but a pout still registered onto your mouth. And even with your foreheads connected, you averted your stare, unable to maintain eye contact. âListen to me, y/n. I donât have a magic pencil, or a magic storybook. And donât even think of asking if I have a hot tub time machine. But I will do whatever I can to make this right. Just tell me⌠something reasonable.â
For a moment, you chewed on the inside of your cheek, contemplating what answer to bestow upon him. In the end, your heart took reign of your vocal cords, leaving your brain face palming in shame. âI wanna redo these last three months.â
Woops, you said it.
Osamu blinked down at you, mulling over your strange request. If he could snap his fingers and go back in time, he would. But maybe there was another way to accomplish this goal. Inhaling a breath, he nudged his nose against yours in effort to gain your wandering attention. âOkay. Letâs do that. Iâll reset our phones, and calendars. We can do it right. You can do more gigs and Iâll follow you around the world. I wonât miss a single thing.â The proposal did not contain a single hint of humour, he needed you to know that he was serious.
âReally?â His words impelled a fluttering sensation to bloom inside your chest. The fact he was even entertaining your bizarre request was astounding. It was enough to nourish the seed of hope that was planted with his arrival.
âYeah. Really.â Lowering his face, he guided his mouth to yours. The tenderest kiss was applied to your lips, lasting barely a minute. You loved how you could taste the sweetness of the tea he had earlier in the day. How his lips fit against yours perfectly. And mostly, you loved that this time, the action did not fill you with fear for the future.
You were simply⌠hopeful, and maybe a little bit excited.
âSo what do you say, y/n? Letâs do it again, shall we?âÂ
Letâs do it again, shall we - letâs do it againÂ
Masterlist - Previous - Next
A/N:Â after battling with tumblr for days, I AM OVER THIS. :( BUT THANK YOU GUYS FOR YOUR PATIENCE AND STAYING BY ME EVEN THO I POST SO SLOWLY ;-;-; YOU GUYS ARE WONDERFUL.Â
taglist: @idiot-juice-enthusiast @vicassa @yourstarvic @suna-r1n@newfriendjen  @hikarichannn @anime-simp @tsukkismamagucci @laughingismorefun @astronomyturtle @shegrewupwithoutafather @hyskoa1998 @deephumandragonperson @pretty-setter-bois @raenebalgaire @sugawarabby @justanotherfangirl2 @keijisworld @90s-belladonna @momoinot @sempiternal-amour @cherryblosom111 @yqshirov @haikyuufairy @volleybloop @bloody-bella @4fterh0urs @seikamuzu @namyari  @toaster-stick @coconut-dreamz @roseestuosity @prcttylittlcthing @uzumakioden @nerdynstoned @kenmasgameboy @unstableye @ouijaeater15 @aquariarose @fandomtrashpandasposts @helloalex80 @stfucanunot @envyusshades @cuddlesslut @seijohiseliterambles  @meiikuki @cuddlejeongin @tchalameme @elianetsantana @hxked
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~Rebirth~
Icy cold, a vacuum. Any air is not present in this environment. Only very few beings can survive here, in space.
Frieza has survived.
He had survived an explosion of a planet and the resulting shock wave with severe injuries. Part of his left arm and the complete lower half of his body he had lost before in a fierce fight against the legendary Super Saiyan. A maneuver that he hadn't calculated for as he was beside himself with rage. He was allowed to experience his own destructive and disastrous energy.
"Miserable........monkey..."
Although his mind is trapped in an unconsciousness and he floats in space with this remaining remnant of his body, the resentment is literally to be heard in these words.
How could this happen to him? Beaten by a primate! He, the most powerful being in the universe! The ruler of this domain!
Blasphemy and humiliation!
And those wounds...it burns... it hurts, the first time he feels something like a sharp pain. And yet this pain is nothing compared to the humiliation that Son Goku did to him. He had spared the most powerful being, mercifully sharing his own ki with him so he could survive. Almost sentimental...but not for him. It's an even greater degradation! How dare he to compare his filthy blood with his royal blood?! Fused that power with HIS own?!
Oh, how he will make him suffer for this! He will track him down, pay him back for this felony! Every single second of it that he had suffered...he only has to go to a nearby planet in his system when he regains full consciousness.
But his plans are different and even better than he thought.
Coincidentally, a spaceship was near his coordinates and the commander of this ship was a very close family member. His own father: King Cold.
Fate must have been really kind to him, admittedly.
"Whoever did this to him will pay! But first...patch up my son," the titan, also of royal blood, growls and ignores the upcoming medical staff's warning that the restoration of a body would not be perfect. There are only old healing chambers on this ship.
But his icy silence, says more than a thousand words and he takes a sip from the oversized wine glass in his hand. He lets the bitter taste melt on his tongue and still says nothing. Exactly this gesture frightens the entire crew and one commander said fastly to the others. "We have to hurry! That was an order! First priority is the regeneration of Lord Frieza!"
Again this feeling. Iciness. But by far a much more pleasant cold and no longer the icy environment that would immediately shock freeze everything.
The severed, still unconscious body is now on a metal table, many technical devices are in the background and the entire medical staff of the ship is doing everything to make this body functional again. And each of these clever minds is tense. Nobody must fail, otherwise they would only enrage the icy monarch. Their lives would be forfeited immediately. And this ruler watches everything very closely from a tribune, looks down at the nervous yet skilful talents that will restore his son.
Many hours pass.
Frieza is deep in unconsciousness that he does not need any further anesthesia at all. A muscle twitch here and there. But no feeling of pain, no rebellion and protest.
Finally after a whole day, the result. From the hip down, all missing limbs such as legs, feet, toes and the tail have been replaced by one metallic joint each. The left arm now also has such a material. Unfortunately, they had to remove the purple sphere on this arm completely in order for it to function harmoniously with the artificial joint. One less body heat accumulator...
The researchers also had to replace the right side of the head and parts of the left side.
Some bronze-colored plates were attached to the head and limbs, since these are made of a more robust material than the usual one, and with these the prince should at least be able to bundle some of his missing, massive ki. But his strength will not be comparable to his intact condition...he is weaker and...everyone here hopes that the son of King Cold will not be too angry about this...
His vital signs were stable during the whole procedure. The green spheres on the right chest and temple have been guarding the weakened and torn body all the time. They made sure his organism is stable.
"He... he's waking up!"
The red eyes immediately flicker and have lost nothing of their sharpness. Blood red and yet ice-cold. He sits up without becoming familiar with this new body and purposefully directs his gaze to his father. As if he had felt him right into his deep slumber. "The planet Earth. I want my revenge, father...now."
When the head of the family now comes down from the rostrum, he clenches his new, metallic hand so tightly to a fist that a short circuit occurs and several sparks are emitted from his hand. It is a strong burning sensation, but he does not make a face of discomfort. His thoughts are too busy with his inner wrath. Only when blood slowly appears and runs out between his tense fingers, does he look at this hand. "Hm. A technical defect...", his words are more monotonous than derogatory. His body, which he has acquired, is much weaker. He relaxes his injured hand now, but whips his chromium-plated tail so strongly to the ground that everyone in the room can hear and feel the blow. "This body shall do me justice?! I would say it IS an insult!", he growls, his voice and his action terrifies everyone here on the ship. This impact on the floor...even this one hurt in a way. With his original, resistant membrane, he would never have felt the impact and it would have left a bigger dent. "How can I take my revenge with this useless, patched-up body?!", even more resentment can be heard in his otherwise elegant and suave voice.
"Earth did you say, my son?", it is the voice of the monarch that loosens the mood a bit.
The brood of the sovereign turns to the deep voice and he looks into the likewise red eyes. A nod follows as an answer. "Exactly. That is where my revenge is to take place," Frieza now seems more relaxed and wears his skilful, sadistic smile. "It would be far too boring if I simply let this planet disappear from the picture...". No. This monkey, who actually made it to this legendary state, is supposed to bleed. More than bleeding...he wants to gut him and...- But he suddenly stops in his train of thought and sees Son Goku right before his eyes. His red irises tremble, clearly, constricted blood vessels are visible in the cornea as this imagination speaks to him. And he hears every word exactly.
"I am the Super Saiyan who has come here from Earth in order to kill you, Frieza."
Both scarlet pupils flicker even more. Fear mixed with anger... mixed with indignation. "No! You will be the one who will go down! Together with this ridiculous legend!", from his other still intact hand, he now fires a death beam that directly pierces the heart of a subordinate. It is an instant death and the lifeless body falls to the ground. King Cold had watched this attack of his son with crossed arms and he bares his teeth. It is not because of his dear and fearsome son, it is just hard for him to watch what a mental attack a lousy barbarian has made on this brilliant mind.
"You will have your revenge soon. It will only be a few days before we reach this monkey's asylum planet."
@reptile--queen thank you for sharing so many HCs with him, dear uwu
And I hope everyone who reads this likes this too. I tried my best to describe his thoughts as good as I could.
#frieza#freeza#cyborg form#mecha form#King Cold#my writing#Long post#I hope you all like it#screenshots#my gif
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The great book of sayings
PAIRINGS: Tomura Shigaraki x FemReader
SUMMARY: He looks at you, his scarlet eyes fixed on yours, burning a hole through your head, every bit the predator he is, but you are as tough as it gets, so, against your better judgment and any well-founded logic, you answer his silent threat, the animalistic look he gives you with nothing less than a fearless smirk, irises burrowing into his pupils.A clever girl. He thinks, finally labeling you inside his head, cursing himself in the very moment he allows his brain to think of you as more than an asset. He is sure (he knows himself enough to know) heâll think of this moment many times from now on.A clever pretty girl.
Reader is a typical college student until she gets herself tangled with the league of villains.
WARNINGS: Unhealthy/complicated relationships, violence, Tomura being Tomura, mentions of murder, heroesâ abuse of power, smut later.
A/N: Iâm trying so hard to write crusty boy here really in character. At least after AfO is taken. Any misspelled words, english is not my native language so iâm trying Helen. ________________________________________________________
Chapter 9 / Chapter 10
It takes two to Tango.
Itâs always like this after using it, but of course a quirk like this would come with some dangerous side effects.
You watch your reflection in the mirror, all dark eyebags and bloodshot eyes. At least the bleeding has finally stopped, but the sink is a bloody mess, and the trash can is full of paper soaking in blood.
It feels awful, really. Physically and emotionally.
You could still feel Dabiâs bones bending under your quirk. His muscles and tendons stiffen like hard rock as the blood stooped its flowing inside of him.
As always, you let the anger get the best of you. Itâs your worst defect, and now it will cost you dearly because there is no way the league lets you live after what youâve done to Dabi. Shigaraki will decay you and that will be all, and if you werenât as exhausted after all the crying and the bleeding, you would be fucking losing it.
A soft knock in the door forces you to clear your face from the tears before opening, shoving down the nausea at the idea of facing your imminent death.
âcan we talk?â Toga asks, her soft face adorned with a little frown.
You let her in and close the door again, sitting over the toilet.
âIâm very sorry for what I did, Himiko-chan.â You sob quietly.
âI know. HeyâŚhey, donât cry. Iâm not mad.â
âI hurt you, I didnât think clearly, I was so mad...â
âhey, itâs fine.â She states, her little hand touching your shoulder, trying to calm you. âI mean, when I first came to the league, Tomura, Dabi and I almost killed each other, soâŚI understand.â
âitâs not the same, Toga. My quirk isâŚI almost killed Dabi and I didnât even touched him. I justâŚI, Iâm supposed to help people, try to keep it down, but when I get angryâŚIâm a monster and now Shigaraki is going to kill meâŚâ
âNo, donât say that. Thatâs not true.â Her voice is soft when she clutches in front of you. âlook at me, hey. Look at me. We are friends. You just got angry. And you didnât hurt me, and Tomura and Compress are fine. It didnât hurt. It was weird but didnât hurt. And Tomura-kun is not going to kill you.â
âreally?â
âIf Tomura-kun wanted you dead, you wouldâve been an hour ago.â She answers, rolling her eyes. âcan you tell me about what just happen? What is with your quirk?â
âitâs pretty simple, actually. It is call Torment. Is the ability to manipulate living tissue, tensing nerves, contracting muscle and bending bone. Itâs a useless variation of a healing quirk, but I cannot grow new tissue, only manipulate it. I can keep wounds closed, I can relax your nerves, I can break your bones and stop your blood from flowing. I can stop your heart just by moving a finger and torture you by contracting all your muscles and nerves, but itâs dangerous for me. Itâs too much effort to control a whole body, less alone four of them. I bleed, and I ache.â
 âwow. Thatâs why you look so terrible.â
âyeahâ you laugh cleaning your tears. âI guess I do.â
âhow do you feel now?â
âa little better. Still like shit, but Iâll be fine.â
âCompress and I will be going to the store. Do you want something?â
âTo the store? With what money?â
âA girl has her ways.â She teases softly âwant some sweets?â
âYes. I need to eat something. ItâsâŚDabi there?â
âno, he went out. Tomura-kun told him to go chill outside.â
âOkay. Iâm going to get out now...â
âdonât be scared. Youâll be fine. Dabi asked for it anyway andâŚhe sometimes can get very nasty with Tomura. He deserved it.â
âHimikoâŚthank you.â
You gather your courage and step out of the bath, finding your apartment as messy as you left it an hour ago, but this time is empty.
Thank god.
You give yourself to the task of collecting your destroyed laptop and removing the broken table from the view, looking for a way to repair the detached leg, trying to clean and erase any trace of the fight, enjoying your solitude for the first time in more than a week.
âthis is going to cost me.â you say to no one, preparing yourself to the idea of buying a new computer as you move to your room. âI donât have any extra money to-â
âI always knew you were hiding something.â
âFUCK!â You scream letting the pieces of your laptop fall again, covering your face with your hands when you notice Shigarakiâs arm crossed figure leaning against the wall besides your door. âdammit, Shigaraki. You cannot justâŚappear behind other peopleâs doors.â
âthatâs debatable.â He remarks, an amused grin plastered in his face.
He watches you and something inside of you twist between excited and scared as his eyes scan you head to toe, the gears of his brain turning inside his head.
âWhat.â
âCâmon. Iâm curious about it.â
âI bet you are.â You spit annoyed.
âCareful now. Look where that bickering mouth of yours got you an hour ago.â He warns you entertained.
âDonât you dare to patronize me.â You warn already tired, a hand rubbing against your temple.
âIâm just asking about that funny little quirk you have. That and the little display of rage, who would have thought!â
You stare at him, weighting your options to no avail.â
âI can manipulate living tissue. Muscle, bone, nerves, blood. Thatâs all.
âThatâs a pretty boring answer to such a memorable show.â
âThis is stupid. What did you expect me to do, huh?â you snap.
âWhat makes you think I expect you to do anything?â He asks cunningly.
âYou know what I mean.â
âno, I donât.â he laughs.
âItâs justâŚI hate bullys. And heâs been trying his best to get on my nerves since day one and I couldâŚI mean, iâŚI justâŚâ
âyou what.â
âI cannot stay there and let him berate people like itâs not important!â You can feel the verbal vomit gathering inside your throat, if you keep like this, you are going to say something you will regret.
âbut itâs not.â He states rolling his eyes. âI didnât care about what he said. You didnât have to say anything.â
âbut I care!â
"About what he does? or is about wh-"
"it's about what he said of you!"
"It doesn't matter wh-"
"Yes, it does!"Â
âwhy d-â
âbecause I like you!â
The moment those words are out, you smack your palm against your mouth, fully convinced you made a horrible mistake, so honoring your sense of self-preservation and improvisation, you oblige yourself to make some verbal stunt just to get out of this one, because you have a horrible scary feeling about the hungry look heâs giving you.
âI mean, I thought we could get alongâŚall of us. Despite everything, I think highly of you, and I know you are a villain- villains who wants to destroy everything, but I thought we could beâŚâ
âFriends? are you hearing yourself?â He spits; his mouth twitched in a hateful grimace.
Fear shoots through you in less than a second. Suddenly he looks more taller and menacing, as his steps makes you retrieve, until your back hits the wall on the corner of your room.
Yeah, you may not be afraid of Dabi, but Shigaraki Tomura is a completely different story.
âWhat are you doing.â
âWhat am I doing?â
âGet away from me.â you bark scared, as your eyes ignite in clear warning. The dark feeling pooling at the pit of your stomach send shivers through your spine, lifting the hairs of your neck in terror.
âMake me.â Shigaraki growls lowly the moment one of his hands trap your chin roughly, his pinky safely curled against his palm, but even like that you can almost feel how close you are from certain death.
He is pissed out of the blue, your brain failing at finding the exact moment shit went down before he decides to finally kill you, yet you donât get it, all you did wasâŚ
OhâŚ
He winces scanning your face searching for something, and the moment his eyes stops over your lips, you recognize the feeling.
He snarls like a wolf, looming over you, looking like heâs ready to kill you.
Or eat you.
âAre you done playing dumb?â he asks darkly, and you can feel the warm of his breath against your own lips and something far more complex and exciting than plain fear roaring inside your chest, begging you to push forward, begging you to kiss him.
âI saidâŚare you done playing-â
âWE ARE BACK!â You both snap your heads to the door the moment Toga enters, screaming cheerfully while leaving a bag with candy over the counter, and before you know, Shigaraki is at the other side of the room, staring at you like you transfixed, digging his nails deeply in his neck, before storming out of the apartment, leaving you there, rooted in your room, finally remembering how to breathe.
âWhatâs wrong with him?â Compress asks as he handles you a pack of gummy bears.
You can still feel the warmth of his hand against your face, your lips still tingling with longing.
âI have no idea.â You lie.
Chapter 11
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being in a constant state of pain is the rest of my schedule after reading the drabble (jjk has done enough for me, WHAT WAS THE REASON FOR THIS)
iâm running out of words, this is not funny anymore.
also random but the âhe will forever be haunted by the thought of you dying aloneâ reminds me a lot of scarlet heart (the k drama) that one scene really hurt me even if i watch te
MY DUMBASS ACCIDENTALLY SUBMITTED THE ASK. (continuation from scarlet heart mention)
anyways,, satoruâs guilt of not reaching out TWICE rly rly hurts, and shoko end up seeing mcâs dead body twice? bye i rly canât do this right now.
i like to think one of the only time stsg is reminded of the otherâs existence after getoâs defection is when one of them arrived at mcâs grave and the flowers one of them left previously is changed and her grave is spotless. and after geto d worded, shoko and gojo end up visiting 2 graves in a year one of which might be a makeshift one. also the friendship pain, like subconsciously thinking of mc when theyâre shopping and goes âwait this will look good on mcâ and then correcting themselves of the impossibility of seeing mc with said items or maybe passing by a place 4 of them used to hang out with, and and a stranger looking awfully similar to mc that they kinda play pretend like in a shop/ grocery store by being kinder than necessary to said stranger. or when a student saw mcâs photo in their phone/ framed on their desk and unknowingly goes âhey sheâs rly pretty, is she one of ur friends, does she work for the college too?â which reminds (one of) them all over of the endless what-if possibilities
the mention of awful mental health care in japan rly hits home, bc itâs the same in my country where itâs so so slow to get conservative out of their old ways of thinking (itâs either yall straight up crazy/ the result of not being religious and u can just pray more) and to get things more progessive over here is ridiculously hard (hello fellow closeted đĽ°, apparently thereâs this one rumor of a gay bar in the city, and the regulars know each other by now LMFAO)
ALSO THE EYE
i just rmbred that akutamiâs a cinemaphile, constantly referencing movies through out jjk. 1st one was when he reccomend yuuji was leon the professional, and when yuuji was watching TLOTR. and the one he watched with junpei
many thoughts, head full. *nervous laugh*
rmbr the cat in the opening with its left eyes shining while gojoâs left was rly pale. i think that was a reference to constantine (if akutami did oversaw the production) while sukunaâs left is exposed and his rightâs hidden,,, does it symbolise humanity đ¤
MINOR SPOILER OF THE MOVIE IF U HAVENâT WATCH IT
in a ritual to cross over into hell, constantine said that he can use the cat, saying that itâs âhalf in and half out anywayâ of the afterlife
akutami we need more answers not questions đż - đą
so much more angst lfnvdsjjk also iâve been staring at your other ask for days youâre so evil that shit is JAIL level angst !!! đ on this blog we make gojo suffer đ
just....no thoughts head empty.....
and yes!!! mental health care SUCKS in asian countries. iâm glad thereâs been more progressive movements to acknowledge mental health care in general (instead of brushing it off) I canât help but wonder if akutami was trying to make a statement about it, considering depression is probably the leading cause of the manifestation of curses in jjk.Â
as a first gen asian american in america whose parents donât even think depression (and OCD) is a legitimate âthingâ it was a struggle to even get diagnosed in the first place LOL yk that textpost that talks about how first gen immigrants in america struggle with both their mental health AND their parentsâ being undiagnosed??? that basically sums it up
also damn @ that cat reference. i watched constantine but i didnât even think about it omg. is this another gojo death flag????
#my mother is def not mentally stable lmaooo#eldest daughters in asian households....we need to unionize#my mom will say shit like if you're depressed than I'M depressed#ma'am that the mf POINT LMAOO#đą anon
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Theodosia Hamilton
Part 4
24th of November, 1801. Philip woke up with an odd feeling in the pit of his stomach. He tried to remember whether he'd dreamt about anything that night, but it was all slipping away from him, like sand through his fingers. A dark figure with a gun, and someone counting, counting up to 7...
He shook himself off as if he were a dog, and leapt out of bed. It was just a nightmare, he reminded himself firmly. He was far too old to still be scared of a nightmare. He walked across the room and flung open the curtains, basking in what little early morning sun was filtering through the window, trying to dispel the remnants of his dream.
He failed. It haunted him all through the rest of the morning, despite his mothers best efforts to find out what was wrong, his fathers rough words of comfort, his siblings practical jokes and awkward hugs. He was morose, and it showed, but he could not for the life of him figure out why. He should be able to shake off a nightmare more easily than this, shouldn't he?
Making his excuses shortly after breakfast, he retired to his room, where he sat sulking by the windowsill fiddling with a pistol. He was interrupted by a knock on the door. Before he had the time to shout "Come in!", his father had already marched into the room, looking resolute. Philip sighed. He couldn't guess why his father wanted to talk to him, but he did know they'd end up fighting - they always did, now.
"Son." The older Hamilton cleared his throat awkwardly, sitting down gingerly on the edge of Philips bed. "Look, I know we haven't gotten on since, well... you know, but I'd like to think you could still come to me for some fatherly advice. I know why you've been moping around all day."
Philip glanced over at him, surprised.
"Look son, I've been there too. When I was a young man, before I met your mother, there were plenty of other girls that caught my eye as well. But you have to realise that this Burr girl - it is her, isn't it? I know you met her a few nights ago, Burr wrote to me of it, and I thought that might have set this off. Anyway, this Burr girl - she's completely unsuitable. You see that, Philip, don't you?", he asked, despairing.
"I mean, her father's been my enemy since last years election, he defected from our party to join Jefferson, of all people, he doesn't stand up for any of his views when it comes to a proper debate, it's a miracle he made it to Vice President in the first place-
The sound of a knock on the door stopped him - and quite possibly saved him, too, thought Philip darkly, laying his gun down on the cabinet. If he heard another one of those self righteous speeches...
Out of curiosity, he glanced down to see who was at the door. A dark head of long hair, one long lithe arm raised, a dress that looked oddly familiar...
Philip jumped up and bolted out of his room, ignoring his fathers questions. He met his mother at the door, but before she could open it he grabbed hold of the handle and gave her a pleading look and she stepped away, seeming almost amused. Sucking in one deep breath, he swung the door open, and tried to put a polite smile on his face.
It was her. She'd been about to knock again, and her hand was still raised before him. She seemed startled by how suddenly he'd appeared there, and moved her hand back down to her side slowly, almost cautiously. On impulse, Philip took hold of it. He was still smiling, but it was a different smile now - no longer so much the casual expression convention demanded but something deeper, something more honest.
He was jolted out of his reverie when his mother cleared her throat. "Philip, why don't you show our guest in? I'm sure she must be cold by now, the weathers been dreadful..."
Philip stepped backwards, blushing, but forgot to let go of her hand, and ended up half dragging Theodosia across the threshold and into the Hamilton house. When he realised what he'd done the blush in his face only increased, until he thought he must be positively scarlet. Muttering some breathless apologies, he turned round and strode through to the drawing room, his mother audibly sighing and inviting her in, before shutting the door behind her.
The first minute sitting around the table in the drawing room, waiting for the tea his mother had called for to arrive, was almost unbearably awkward. All attempts at an actual conversation stuttered into silence, and nothing Philip tried seemed able to keep the discussion moving.
Theodosia had, she explained briefly, come only briefly to thank him for 'rescuing her' (her words, met with a yet deeper blush and a muttered denial from Philip) from the street outside the theatre. It was only when she mentioned what had happened with Eacker that Eliza stopped looking shrewdly between her son and her guest and glared sharply at Philip.
"He had a gun, did you say, Miss Burr?"
Her words dripped from her mouth like acid, and Philip winced, knowing he'd be in real trouble as soon as Theodosia left. Theodosia, on the other hand, seemed to realise her mistake, and faltered, trying to take back what she had said.
"Yes, Mrs Hamilton, he did - but I'm sure whatever reason that was for can be no fault of your son - indeed, once my father had scared Mr Eacker off, Mr Hamilton was more than willing to let it go."
Philip hid desperately behind her flimsy excuse. "I was, mother - I mean, I did. It was barely a fight at all, anyway, I was just annoyed about some stupid things he said. All I was doing was returning Theodo- returning Miss Burr, I mean, to her fathers house."
At that moment, their tea arrived, and Philip breathed a great, internal sigh of relief, casting about for a new topic of conversation. His mind settled on Maria Jefferson, and he asked Theodosia whether she'd been alright, not caring about the answer, looking only for an excuse to gaze intently at her without seeming rude.
Theodosia replied in the positive, and mentioned that she'd gone back home to her husband and their young son near Monticello - and as soon as she said it, Philip remembered his own summer holidays to Virginia, staying on the Washington estate. When he said as much to Theodosia, she told him that she'd been down there too, only a few weeks before - although she had stayed with the Jeffersons instead of the Washingtons, of course.
She spoke of long, warm days in the sun, with the air so arid that she had at one point cracked an egg on her balcony, just to see if it would fry - of the sound of cicadas so deafening in the night she thought she'd go mad with it - of the ballroom in Jeffersons home, which was so stately and so encrusted in gold and diamonds that she was almost afraid to touch anything, for fear that she break it...
Philip interrupted occasionally, adding his own thoughts and his own memories, but for the most part he was content to watch her joyfully recollect all that had happened that past summer, as if he could breathe in her happiness, or the warmth she spoke with.
It was a long time before he realised that his mother had disappeared, but he did not concern himself with it. There was too much for him to take in the moment to wonder properly about where she might have went, and it was only when he heard faintly the sound of raised voices floating down the staircase that he realised she had gone upstairs to stop his father from interrupting the two of them.
He looked at Theodosia, and saw that she had heard the voices too, and that she knew what they meant, and was instantly pained - not just embarrassed, but physically hurt, wanting her to think of him and his family well.
But perhaps she saw that pain reflected in his eyes, because she took his hand and said quietly, "Well, I must be going sir. I only came to thank you."
Philip stood. He took her other hand in his empty one and said hurriedly, "Philip. Call... call me Philip."
"And I am Theodosia..." she said it softly, almost whispering, when his mother came gliding down the stairs, looking strained. The two of them jumped apart as she smiled politely at Theodosia, saying, "Well, I am sorry, Miss Burr, but it seems that my husband and I must be going. I would invite you to make use of the hospitality of my household, but it seems I cannot trust my son for the evening without him running off and getting into some sort of gunfight. If you don't mind...
Theodosia hurried out, saying that she'd already overstayed her welcome, despite Philip and Eliza's denials. She turned to him for a moment before she left, and he breathed in one last time - she was wearing some sort of perfume, he was sure of it, he must remember that perfume - and then she was gone, a carriage waiting for her at the edge of the road.
As soon as the door shut behind her, Philip heard his father striding down the stairs. He turned around to face the music.
Full Story: https://www.wattpad.com/story/236660130-theodosia-hamilton
#philidosia#philip hamilton#theodosia burr jr#fanfic#philip x theo#hamilton#hamilfilm#alexander hamilton#eliza hamilton#eliza schuyler#frankie talks
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Be a Fibroblast..
You ever want to write something profound but the words just donât amount to the feeling you have in your chest? That is where I am. I find myself sipping coffee in Paris, waiting for my next flight, speechless. Over the last five weeks I have worked on D ward for my third service on board the Africa Mercy, my 5thmission trip to the continent of Africa in the last 6 years. That literally blows my mind. I can close my eyes and see myself sitting at my desk in the UNA Office of Student Engagement pushing through the struggle of nursing school and 3 jobs and campus life and imagining what the finish line would look like. Graduation. Dream job. Travel nursing. Maybe spouseâŚthen once that all took approximately 5 years I hoped to get to Africa to âsave babies.â That was my 5-year plan. People hear me talk about my 5-year plan and I am sure they think I am nuts, planning out my life just so. The thing is what they miss is the trauma that led to the wakeup call that I was settling for a life far less than the one I was called to live, that led to the focus on the God that had a beautiful plan for me, that led to the 5-year plan, that has me here.
Show me a person doing amazing things and Iâll show you a God that made lemonade out of rotten tomatoes.
Nope I didnât screw that up. Thatâs what kind of impossible, illogical work God does. I serve a God who has made the most unimaginably beautiful life out of the most ridiculous moments of pain and darkness. Impossible to possible. Pain to passion. Who in the world am I, the most unlikely choice (in my opinion), to be chosen to be the hands and feet of Jesus himself to the forgotten poor of Africa? Growing up I always wanted to be like everyone else. To have the ânormalâ family, to have the name brand clothes, to go to the cool restaurants, and be in the cool crowds. Even after becoming a Christian I wished I had grown up in Sunday school and Vacation Bible School like everyone else. Lock ins and father Abraham, am I right?! Lol! The thing is, I was a misfit. I didnât have the likely background story. And as an adult, I thank God for that multiple times a day.
              Why fit in when you were born to stand out?
And thatâs the thing isnât it? I look back and smirk at all the times I was lost and felt like I was drowning. Asking why me? Why this? Impatient. Angry. RestlessâŚ.
                  And I see it now.. All part of the plan. A misfit so that I could understand the misfits. Different so that I could understand the different. A story to be shared so that people will not see me but will undeniably see God through me.
      My pastor recently put it in a way that I find appropriate as I sit in the airport. âWhen we fly, we can only see out the window at where we are but our captain can see where weâre going.â
      Guinea was not unlike the previous African countries Iâve served in. Bustling streets of people working hard to survive. I love Africa. I think my favorite thing is that despite how hard life is at every corner imaginable, you help your fellow human. I often ride through the streets at dusk on my way to dinner and am just struck by the beauty of it. Children bathing in basins while their mothers cook over an open flame, groups of men stopping by a local stand for a drink after work, people still carrying items for sell atop their heads throughout the streetsâŚliving life together. Perfect strangers watching a tv show on benches in the open air, a lady hands her baby to the lady next to her waiting for a taxi so she can buy a papaya off the head of the lady walking byâŚSuch trust and community and love.
Of course, it isnât that way for everyone. Guinea was another country where I got to love and care for the most beautiful babiesâŚIâm not kidding when I say in 5 African countries, I have yet to see an ugly baby. Babies born with congenital defects that deemed them unworthy to sit at the table of the human race. Mothers who had been told to bury their infants alive and when they didnât, were mocked and scorned as cursed and damned by their communities and families. Adults who were once those children, grown up still carrying their deformity as a scarlet letter for all to see they are less than human somehow. Cleft lips, cleft faces, cleft palates, encephaloceles, Noma scars, and large benign tumors is the D ward clientele. While there are 5 wards and a whole list of amazing surgeries done on board the Africa mercy, D ward is the island of misfits I call home. The stories are always similarâŚ
For the babies itâs something like this: A baby was born different, a mother was told to kill it but she didnât, she is blamed and cursed and often left by her husband and shunned from her villageâŚbut then Mercy Ships comes and repairs the abnormality and the mother visibly is transformed just as much as the baby we did surgery on.  A once furrowed brow disappears and a smile takes over her face. Almost always she states that she had convinced herself that she was cursed just as everyone told her, but now she knows that God sent Mercy Ships specifically to help her baby.
For the Noma patients: Oh man the Noma patients get meâŚA recap on Noma: it is a gangrenous bacterium that is only found in the poorest corners of the world. This bacteria is an opportunistic bacteria that attacks children predominantly between the ages of 2-6 and has a 90% mortality rate. What that means is these Noma patients that we see are the 10% that survived with the odds stacked against them. Their mark of survival is on their face. Noma rots the tissues of the face down to the bone and leaves these patients often with gaping holes where their nose or cheek or eye once was. Just prepare yourself for disturbing images and then google Noma. Its horrific. These patients have stories of getting a cut on their way home from school or something similarly minor that changed their life forever. Once they get Noma they are now deformed and no longer allowed to go to school, no longer able to be a part of their village or families or society, no longer considered human. They are the strongest people I have ever met in my life. There is no textbook that covers how to repair Noma cases because it doesnât exist in the developed world. Doctor Gary (heâs a freaking wizard) has just made up his own techniques over the course of his 30+ years on board in order to help these patients. He takes muscle from the skull and stretches it down to the nose where he keeps it attached for a few weeks to grow new skin and then releases it and builds them a new nose, takes a muscle from their shoulder and does the same to build a new cheek, the skull or the hip or the rib to make bone graftsâŚ.The list goes on..These walk up the gangway with fabric strategically wrapped around their faces to cover their scars of survival and leave unrecognizable. Their external scars still healing but their internal scars untraceable.
Tumor patients: The thing is, at home we find a lump or bump the size of a pea and we immediately run to the doctor to have whatever it may be removed. Being told it is benign is cause for celebration because in our minds, benign means survival and malignant means cancer. Well really the only difference medically is the borders that define that growth. A malignancy means the cells spread and benign means they are condensed to one spot. The difference in Africa means youâll either die quickly or slowly. The tumors we see in D ward are all benign as we donât operate on malignant tumors (because we will not help them by doing so). These benign tumors are anywhere from the size of an orange to the size of a watermelonâŚon the faceâŚno joke. These patients will die a slow death by either starvation or suffocation if left without surgery. Their stories are that of knowing that they will die without help but having no help in sight. They watch their tumors grow bigger and bigger and their difficulties with it get worse and worse until they are sure they wonât make it another day and then Mercy Ships arrives. Again, there is no textbook procedure for the removal of tumors this large but the surgeons on board have perfected life change in a way that can only be divinely explained.
These stories are endless. Stories of shame, hopelessness, fear, painâŚ.but then GodâŚbut then Mercy Ships.
A surgeon on board gave an in-service that struck me right in the heart strings. Dr. Chong started out with a photo of these white blood cells called fibroblasts. Fibroblasts are just your everyday connective tissue cell that by all intents and purposes are unremarkable. The donât look that impressive, they donât do that impressive of a job within the body..They mainly just help other cells do their jobs and wait around until there is something to heal. What is cool about these cells though, is once they are called into action they are adaptable, resilient, and powerful. They actually thrive in the face of adversity!
What is the Africa Mercy but a boat full of fibroblasts? A group of people who have sacrificed all the easy and comfortable ways of their lives back home to answer the call to heal. As Dr. Gary states, âWe facilitate the impossible in a tangible way. Planting seeds of hope. That maybe they would go back to their village and the things that seemed impossible, like clean running water and good schools..that they might start to have the courage to do the impossible.â
              Facilitate the impossible in a tangible wayâŚ
    Yep. I wanna do that every single day. Live my life in such a way that people will rethink what they once thought was inaccessible, impossible, unachievable. Then to say, how is it possible? And look up to the God of possibility.
      I think we are quick to be like Abraham or Moses and disqualify ourselves from lifeâs big challenges. You know the ones, those that God speaks to you loud and clearâŚâYou WILL be the father of nations..â âYou WILL lead your people out of EgyptâŚâ âYou WILL âŚâŚ(fill in the blank with your personal mountain)âŚ..We say âOOOOHHHH heck no, thatâs way too big for me, chose someone else God, I am not your guyââŚâŚ.But just like the patientâs we treat on the Africa Mercy, they canât receive their blessing until they first embark on the journey to the ship.
            .....You have to depart before you can arrive...
You canât stay where you are and receive the blessings of where youâre supposed to be.
My biggest advice, find a squad of human fibroblasts to be on your team. One of the biggest things God showed me while I was gone was just how many amazing people I have in my life. Iron sharpens iron after all, so look for people who push you. Who tell you what you need to hear even when you donât want to hear it. Who listen and impart wisdom on you. Who grow you and make you think. Those who pay attention to the whole of you not just the part that is different. That look you in the eyes and get you. Who see the whole of you and not just one talent or mistake or story or quality that sets you apart. Those people who know the part that makes you different but doesnât make that your whole identity. People who may even love your bilateral cleft smile (only D ward nurses will know) that deems you weird.
I guess what I am saying is people are just people. The only difference between you and me and the patients that I serve on board the Africa Mercy is really just the geographical location we were born in. We all are called differently and I am called to missions. But no matter where you receive the call in your life, answer it. Nothing can prepare you for the hard parts of life except for knowing you are in the will of God. Live life seeking Godâs will and you will always find strength to deal with the parts of life that are simply inevitable. Count your blessings, including your human fibroblasts. Be a human fibroblast yourself.  Donât disqualify yourself from the amazing. Help your fellow human. Donât keep up with the Joneses on Facebook or otherwise. Live the life God has planned for you. It is ALL possible, trust me. One step at a timeâŚIâve seen the impossible happen time and time again on board a floating hospital full of human fibroblasts.
Disclaimer: Actually none of the photos above are from Guinea but are from Madagascar and Cameroon because I mainly have photos of craniofacial patients from Guinea..Ill post them soon but here are the after photos for the first and third patients above (the middle one is an after as the before pictures of Noma patients are far too graphic).
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Thank you lovely @scarlet-rainy-dreams for tagging me in this questionnaire. Itâs so interesting, it was quite hard, but such a challenge and a nice time to think lots of stuff.Â
The Proust Questionnaire has its origins in a parlor game popularized (though not devised) by Marcel Proust, the French essayist and novelist, who believed that, in answering these questions, an individual reveals his or her true nature.
1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?
My idea of perfect happiness would be...being at peace with myself and my surroundings. Enjoying the pleasant things of life...
2. What is your greatest fear?
Myself, my bad side. My anxiety that pushes to all the bad in my life...
3. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
And here it goes again. My anxiety issues. When Iâm in painful stress, itâs like I can become someone entirely different, that can turn normal situations or daily life into pain and bad coping mechanisms, makes up sympthoms, believes in things I would never believe in my senses, letâs say. I know that I can come up to a certain point, but the hard thing is to stop it some times, and I just canât bear myself like that.
4. What is the trait you most deplore in others?
I donât like when people self loathes a lot and victimize themselves for believing theyâre a piece of crap when they arenât and they are humans, and all humans have their problems, and can also make their solutions. Often people that act like victims of life live off of the others,like toxic parasytes ruining the environment. I donât like at all when people use victimism to take advantage on their lies,for example. Well, I can say I do not like âpsychopaticâ behaviours.
5. Which living person do you most admire?
I would say my boyfriend, but heâs a human. Humans have defects, every human has things that one wonât like to copy or idolize. Well, he made me see my potential, he made me grow as an individual, he helped me to grow and focus on empathy, if thatâs understandable. I love people that can give a little bit that goes a long way to help you to make a better you. Letâs say I could admire that people.
6. What is your greatest extravagance?
I think yeah, my love of japanese culture, and my passion onto let all people be...I donât know if thatâs also understandable,lol.
7. What is your current state of mind?
All I can think of is â I need to have another âpoint of focusâ onto my stressâ, like now itâs all centered in my back and neck and jaw. Lol. Also,needing to COPE with stress smoothly in order of a better quality of life. More than that, I just want time to pass to see if I can really make into the things I planned for this year. I always say âIf itâs not prolly going to work out, Iâll surely keep hanging on the way so things willâ.
8. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Being âsocial, extroverted,talkativeâ.Â
9. On what occasion do you lie?
I donât always lie, because Iâm ...the most terrible person at that, and most likely will feel TOO guilty. But..as humans, like we are, we had said our white lies. I lie if I have to give a surprise to someone. I CANâT WITH SURPRISES I ALWAYS RUIN THEM. But if I really need to keep it, I will..say I did sth else. And I also lie to go alone. Like, being with friends and saying â Oh, I need to go to some place to take sth, I wonât join you/Iâm going to the doctor so Iâm leaving earlierâ So I leave alone and travel completely alone, with no one going with me. Ah yeah. I isolate myself very often. Sometimes itâs a need, but itâs not like Iâm overwhelmed with people. Itâs a trait I also despise of myself,but something I need.
10. What do you most dislike about your appearance?
Maybe the shape I have in my torso. like, not having like a âfeminineâ figure,and not exercising makes it look weird... I donât really have too many problems with myself on the outside.Â
11. Which living person do you most despise? Â
I despise no one. But I donât quite like some people, because of what they are.Â
12. What is the quality you most like in a man?
I love when a man is sensitive, is very sure of himself and what he likes and hates, when he can channel his beauty inside and outside, the wit and intelligence, AND A BEAUTIFUL SMILE AND EYES WHERE I CAN SEE THE ENDLESS HUMBLY AND HARMONY IN HIS SOUL sorry
13. What is the quality you most like in a woman?
Ehh well I like intelligence in a woman,also assertiveness.Â
14. Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
âI love thatâ âI donât like it whenâ âThank youâ
15. What or who is the greatest love of your life?
This is cheesy,but Iâll just read my heart, Istvan. I will never thank anyone so much. Despite everything, whatever the result is. I will always be thankful for lots of things. That leads me to, I also want to be the love of my life.
16. When and where were you happiest?
The first time I looked into Istvanâs eyes when I met him personally in an airport, dressing with a celebration outfit at midnight. I was shaking nervously, and when I laid eyes on him, it was like magic and time actually stopped. I felt in such a peace of mind state that led myself on, almost like floating of how calm I was, suddenly. There were no worries or expectations anymore, they were unexistent. I also recall when I looked at snowflakes when I was at his house. And when I was at sea floating, I said âI want to take a picture of this momentâ. All the happiest moments take me to âlove". I also want to point that I feel so cheesy and embarrassed when talking about my love, or love in public. Ah. haha
17. Which talent would you most like to have?
Iâd love to be very talented from the start with my favorite musical instruments. And maybe with creating clothes, like taking my creativity into clothing items but I canât even simply sew. Itâs like a math problem to me. Ah, I wouldnât like to be talented on math or those things, because I donât like them.
18. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
I changed lots of things I hated about myself these years. So I would like not to be anxious at all,or easily stressed,also being more âlaid backâ in some decisions I could take,because life is about plans; but life is also about not following some of the plans.Â
19. What do you consider your greatest achievement?
I feel more at ease with myself. I feel like I can really get to love myself in the future, in a 100%. I love so much some of my qualities, my traits that is unbelievable how proud I am of being what I am. This is what I call a great achievement.
20. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?
A grim reaper. Maybe this isnât my fourth life, maybe I sinned a lot, maybe I sinned in the next one, because Iâm not gonna be a grim reaper with this life I have now. LOL *Evidently watched Goblin, carried away with it* Uso,uso. Nothing. I donât have an idea.
21. Where would you most like to live?
Now I am very prepared for city life, with glimpses of nature. Would not like to live in the very center of a city because of the noise and the stuff...I also need the green in my life, the branches, the breeze. But I donât like being far from a city.
22. What is your most treasured possession?
*Iâll figure out my room suddenly goes on fire* My headphones, the few meaningful band merch I have, A little Cortana doll my bf gave to me,along with a dragon statue,whew theyâre meaningful.A necklace I always have on.
23. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
Yeah, like Oli said, losing the will to live, despising yourself and others that much youâd do that.
24. What is your favorite occupation?
Doing something that awakes and stimulates my interest, which is very deep and passionate.
25. What is your most marked characteristic?
I am assertive. I am loyal. And the best for last, I am VERY determined/strong willed. Iâm just marking what people says they admire of me.
26. What do you most value in your friends?
Being people who I can actually be at peace and silence when itâs necessary and not so necessary. People who act quickly and really wants to be around you.Â
27. Who are your favorite writers?
Maybe I liked a lot of things Gabo GarcĂa MĂĄrquez and Julio CortĂĄzar wrote. But I like too many different styles, and I wonât mention more/or a real fav.
28. Who is your hero of fiction?
I donât know, man. But heroes for me are strongly determined passionate and fight-for-their-dreams people.Â
29. Which historical figure do you most identify with?
Nah, I donât identify with anyone.
30. Who are your heroes in real life?
Oh, I already said that, donât wanna repeat myself that much!Â
31. What are your favorite names?
Ah! I love names! I like names with E and I ,theyâre my favorite thing (why? IDK they sound so beautiful to me) like Ilonka, Imogen, Iris,Eren,Emre, Irine, Istvan (YEAH one of the reasons I came up with him was his beautiful name calling my attention) and if weâre calling a nationality I like hungarian names, russian/balkan/turkic names aka FANTASY SOUNDING BEAUTIFUL NAMES the most. I also like some japanese ones, but Iâm turning off the weeb in this topic.
But to summarize it, I basically like unisex names, or female names that sound like male, and male names sounding like female. Names are beautiful, thereâs something more than about this anyway.Â
32. What is it that you most dislike?
Being a bait for something, being lied to
33. What is your greatest regret?
Not doing too much for my posture.
34. How would you like to die?
I donât even wanna think about that. But what I wouldnât like is making people I love suffer for me, feeling a useless burden. Iâd rather die.
35. What is your motto?
"any dream stops being one if you believe in yourself, fight enough and just go for it all the wayâ
Iâm tagging @severemagazinementality @rasenchuu @fautsus @natalicius @lunaloupgarou @april-lilies this time.Â
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Prop. 65 warns of cancer and birth defects. Do shoppers care?
Vermont Soapâs feel-good natural products came with everything a California consumer had come to expect: an organic certification, a non-GMO seal of approval, a âcruelty freeâ bunny silhouette. And a warning that it harbored a âchemical known to the state of California to cause cancer, birth defects or reproductive harm.â
Confused? So was Larry Plesent, who founded his soap company in presidential candidate Bernie Sandersâ liberal home state on the notion of replacing âyuckyâ chemicals with âyummyâ natural ones.
That was exactly what Proposition 65âs architects had in mind when they convinced California voters to approve the ballot initiative in 1986 â to coerce companies into replacing toxic chemicals with safe ones rather than bear the burden of a Scarlet Letter stamped on their products.
More than three decades later, Plesent and many other manufacturers find themselves at odds with a lawsuit mill that has grown around Proposition 65, which gave citizens the right to prosecute companies through the same county courts that handle divorces and fender-benders.
âI think the original intent was very positive,â Plesent said. âBut political forces became involved to make Proposition 65 overwhelming, overreaching, overdone and overblown.â
In Plesentâs case, he feared he could be sued over those same âyummyâ natural replacements. One of them, a compound found in carrots, hops, lemongrass and cannabis, had been linked to cancerous renal tumors in male rats that were force-fed large quantities of it, five days a week, for up to two years. That earned it a place on the Proposition 65 list in 2015, over objections from the makers of sustainable products and carrot growers.
Plesent made a strictly business decision: âWe do not wish to fight against California.â He added a warning.
Plesent is not alone. Companies in every sector of the consumer economy now routinely attach warnings for any of the more than 900 chemicals and elements covered by Proposition 65, without testing for them or attempting to reformulate products. They fear citizen-enforcer lawsuits more than they fear freaking out customers.
That profusion of warnings has subverted Proposition 65 and left Californians, and increasingly anyone who shops online, overwarned, underinformed and potentially unprotected, a Times investigation has found. And it has funneled hundreds of millions of dollars to a handful of attorneys and their repeat clients.
Proposition 65 warnings now greet guests at Disneyland, drivers at California parking garages, visitors at hotels, shoppers at car dealerships and lunchgoers in fast-food lines.
A Proposition 65 sign warns visitors to Disneyland that they may be exposed to chemicals that can cause cancer or reproductive harm.
(Myung J. Chun / Los Angeles Times)
Where Proposition 65 prosecutions once targeted notoriously hazardous toxins such as mercury found in hemorrhoid suppositories and lead in spiced Mexican candies, they now claim that cancer, birth defects or reproductive harm might arise from dalliances with bondage tape or from opening a Bible; from grasping a pair of pliers with bare hands, or donning polyurethane-coated safety gloves. From chewing on the plastic frames of glasses, leaving them on your nose, or touching the zipper pull of their carrying case. From smoking pot, and burning the rolling papers used to twist it up. From casting a plastic lure on a lake.
In the early years of Proposition 65, state attorneys general filed actions against industrial polluters and makers of widely used products with high concentrations of toxins â it won agreements limiting lead in ceramics and acrylamide in French fries, for example.
These days, the attorney generalâs office files few cases. More commonly, it pushes back against abuses by the primary enforcer empowered by the fine print of Proposition 65 â citizen prosecutors who have filed more than 30,000 violation notices under the measure since it went into effect in 1988.
Four consecutive attorneys general have accused these citizen enforcers and their attorneys of preying on companies that can ill afford to defend themselves, of filing weak or frivolous cases, collecting unreasonable fees, and offering illusory remedies in settlements that vaccinate companies from further accountability for their products.
One $100,000 settlement over lead in salsa didnât eliminate lead and didnât result in a printed warning, either; it changed fine print on the label â the âportionâ went from a tablespoon to a teaspoon. Another settlement for $40,000 tried to resolve an acrylamide exposure case by changing the preheating instructions for frozen organic potatoes before the attorney general declared the settlement contrary to the law, against public policy and unenforceable. A plumbing company in 2017 agreed to confidentially pay one San Diego plaintiffâs lawyer nearly $15,000 without promising to change anything about phthalates in dryer hoses. The accord was withdrawn after the attorney general said it âappears simply to be a payment to the enforcer and her counsel in exchange for the agreement not to sue.â
Legislative attempts to curb such behavior temporarily slowed the rise in Proposition 65 prosecutions, reined in their costs and limited the shares collected by perpetual plaintiffs and their attorneys. But 2018 saw a record of 829 settlements totaling $35 million, according to the most recent data from the California attorney generalâs office.
Litigating Proposition 65 enforcement has cost businesses more than $370 million in settlements since 2000, according to the state. New labeling requirements alone are expected to cost California companies between $410 million and $818 million over the next decade, the California Chamber of Commerce estimates.
No public agency verifies how many warnings get posted, nor whether all the promises companies have made to private enforcers are kept.
More than three decades into Californiaâs right-to-know revolution, consumers today donât know much about the health risks posed by consumer goods. Itâs nearly impossible to tell whether to put down a product bearing a warning and choose one without it â either one may present a high risk, a low risk or no risk. The deepest internet dive is unlikely to surface an answer before consumers reach the checkout or finalize their order online.
That kind of information is buried in the back pages of civil court settlements that horse-trade consumer safety and business costs. None of those legal battles goes to a jury. Few go all the way to a judgeâs ruling. Millions of dollars change hands. A tiny portion goes to the state agency charged with protecting consumers from toxic exposure.
Attorney fees account for nearly three-quarters of the more than $300 million that has been paid out in Proposition 65 settlements since 2000, according to state data. The lionâs share of that goes to a handful of habitual litigants, several of which amount to opaque front groups with closer ties to attorneys than to California consumers, The Times has found. Meanwhile, shoppers have grown inured to the warnings.
This was not what Bay Area environmental attorney David Roe had in mind when he drafted Proposition 65 as a market-driven alternative to government mandates that would persuade companies to clean up to avoid having to âfess up.â
âFrom my perspective, every warning is a failure,â said Roe, who believes that meaningful compliance still predominates over abuses. Proposition 65 permanently changed the way companies assess risk and choose ingredients, and took tons of toxic chemicals out of production. Most companies quietly clean up their act, he said.
But the process, he said, isnât perfect.
âThe thing about private enforcement is that everybody can do it,â Roe said. âYou get the good, the bad and the ugly.â
Born to fail
Political strategists in 1986 hoped Proposition 65 would draw liberal-leaning voters to the polls and help Democratic L.A. Mayor Tom Bradley, left, unseat Republican Gov. George Deukmejian. Californians ended up backing the proposition but not Bradley.
(Rick Meyer / Los Angeles Times)
Not even Roe thought Proposition 65 would pass in 1986. Few sweeping environmental ballot measures had survived vigorous industry-funded counter-campaigns.
But Los Angeles Mayor Tom Bradley, a Democrat, needed help in his gubernatorial rematch race with Republican incumbent George Deukmejian. Political strategists such as Tom Hayden, then a state assemblyman, and his wife at the time, Jane Fonda, saw toxic pollution as a way to draw liberal-leaning voters to the polls and exploit a political weak point for Deukmejian, who had vetoed several toxic cleanup bills. Hayden, among others, bankrolled the measure. But it fell to others to write it.
âWhat was in it â the content â didnât really matter to that strategy at all,â said Roe. âIt was about the headline, not the fine print.â
Details fell largely to Roe and a couple of other environmental attorneys. âItâs a very unusual design,â Roe said. âYou would never have been able to draft, by committee, anything as innovative as Prop. 65.â
Bradley lost. Proposition 65 won, by a 2-1 margin.
The fine print suddenly mattered. And in that fine print were the seeds of Proposition 65âs successes and excesses.
The Safe Drinking Water and Toxic Enforcement Act, as Proposition 65 was formally known, said that âno person in the course of doing business shall knowingly discharge or release a chemical known to the state to cause cancer or reproductive toxicity into waterâ or anywhere else where it might lead to a drinking water source. It also said that âno person in the course of doing business shall knowingly and intentionally exposeâ anyone to those chemicals âwithout first giving clear and reasonable warning.â
The usual people would enforce it â the state attorney general and local district attorneys. But so could âany person in the public interest.â Those words deputized citizens to sue anyone exposing Californians to toxins in the products they used.
Determining what constituted a toxin â and how much was unsafe â fell to the state, which listed scores of chemicals already identified in existing law or by other agencies. Two panels of appointed experts also could add chemicals based on the expertise of reputable agencies, or look at the science and decide for themselves.
Lawsuits eventually forced the state to also consider toxins linked only to cancer in animals. The list has since grown to more than 900 chemicals and elements.
That broad and cautious view of whatâs considered risky for Californians is why Plesent, of Vermont Soap, opted to issue a warning with his products in 2015, over a flavor and fragrance compound called beta-myrcene, which had been linked to renal cancers in rodents.
âThat doesnât mean that if you wash with lemon grass soap you [will] be in danger,â said Plesent. âThereâs a difference between 2% to 3% essential oils in a wash-off product and 100% essential oils being force-fed down your little mouse throat.â
Telling that to a judge can be prohibitively expensive â Proposition 65 places the burden of proof on the defendant, a reversal of the âpresumption of innocenceâ principle that otherwise underpins the U.S. justice system.
So Plesent surrendered without a fight. âWe canât test everything.⌠So weâre going to put this warning on,â he said.
One customer then demanded a refund for $7,000 worth of goods she had bought to start her own private-label line of ânontoxicâ bath goods. Plesent complied. Vermont Soap now refers customers to a five-page explainer on risks associated with essential oils published by the American Herbal Products Assn. industry group.
âThe issue kind of went away,â Plesent said.
If the issue doesnât go away, companies turn to Mike Easter.
Easter is an environmental toxicologist and attorney who has helped companies win state-sanctioned âsafe useâ concentrations for Proposition 65 chemicals, protecting them from prosecution. That remedy is so strictly limited that the state has granted only nine of these in 32 years, out of the more than 100,000 products that have been targeted by citizen prosecutors.
Two years ago, the sports fishing industry hired Easter after citizen enforcers accused member companies of exposing the lure-fishing public to illegal doses of phthalates, common plasticizers that can rub off their barbed versions of squid, shad and frogs.
Among other facts, Easter dug out how many times sport license holders fished (18.3 times a year, according to the American Sportsfishing Assn.), for how long (six hours), how many times they might touch a lure during that time, how much of the phthalates might transfer to their fingers, how often those fingers might touch their mouth area when they ate or smoked, and how all that would play out over years of recreational fishing.
He used the results to figure out the maximum concentration of phthalates that could be on lure makersâ ersatz baits before they exceeded the daily dose set by the state â a level that is set 1,000 times lower than the conventional zero-effect threshold used in toxicology. A judge approved a $90,000 consent agreement last year.
The seven companies signing the settlement know how much phthalates they can use before warning anglers. Other lure makers can join the agreement for $2,150 to $59,150, depending on their size.
That kind of science-driven accord is time-consuming and expensive. Plaintiff attorneys have sought more than a million dollars in fees in each of several long-running cases, according to court records.
Most times, attorneys just work out a less expensive compromise. Thatâs what happened in the case of companies selling tea.
A tempest over tea
Over the course of two years, dozens of tea companies shelled out more than $1 million to one citizen enforcer and her attorney.
They walked away without having to do much of anything about lead allegedly found in their tea.
They also did not submit as evidence anything like the analysis Easter does. Figuring that out was too risky for either side, the plaintiff attorney told a judge. So they horse-traded.
The cases show how Proposition 65 can leave the consumers with the right to know almost nothing, including whether a pregnant woman might be condemning her future child to learning disabilities brought on by lead exposure.
Hereâs how that happened.
In 2016, Sacramento environmental engineer Whitney Leeman served violation notices to more than three dozen tea companies, alleging their infusions exceeded Proposition 65âs lead exposure standards. The notices warn companies that they have 60 days to work out a deal or face a lawsuit. That waiting period gives public prosecutors such as the attorney general and county district attorneys a shot at taking over the case on behalf of the public. None did.
Tea companies including Starbucks-owned Teavana paid over $1 million to settle one Proposition 65 case â with little effect on the lead allegedly found in their teas.
(Damian Dovarganes / Associated Press)
Among the most prolific citizen prosecutors using Proposition 65, Leeman has collected more than $550,000 in bounties (a 25% share of civil penalties) since 2001, attorney general records show. The Berkeley-based firm that has represented her, the Chanler Group, has collected more than $7 million in fees from those cases â part of the more than $55 million the firm has collected in Proposition 65 fees over 20 years, according to state records. Along the way, Clifford Chanler, the firmâs founder, has drawn the ire of multiple attorneys general and members of Congress, one of whom likened him to the extortionate troll under the bridge from the fairy tale âThe Three Billy Goats Gruff.â Chanler calls that a âcheap shotâ and defends his record.
âOur work was the undisputed catalyst in large settlements brought by public enforcers that mandated chemicals such as lead being removed from the inside and outside of bottles of Coca-Cola, Pepsi, and Dr. Pepper, among other items,â he wrote in an email response to questions from The Times.
Small tea companies quickly settled the accusations by promising to keep lead to a barely measurable level â effectively zero â or warn consumers. The settlements drew no public attention from the attorney general.
Everyone benefits, including the public, from having a standard.
Michele Corash, an attorney hired by Starbucks
Nineteen companies banded together and went to court to defend themselves, led by Starbucks, maker of Teavana. Starbucks hired a top gun who knew Leeman, Chanler and Proposition 65 well â Michele Corash, who had advised opponents of the ballot measure back in 1986 and had won a milestone exemption for the meat industry, nullifying cases Leeman and the Chanler firm had filed against meat companies.
Within months, though, the two rival litigants found themselves on the same side, trying to persuade a judge to accept a compromise settlement. First, though, they had to fight an unusual adversary â the stateâs highest law enforcement officer, Atty. Gen. Xavier Becerra.
Even glassware at Williams Sonoma on Beverly Drive is displayed with a Proposition 65 warning.
(Dania Maxwell / Los Angeles Times)
Becerraâs office had ended its silence on the cases with a rare intervention and bombshell disclosure in court: Based on what both parties were now offering as a âsafeâ level, almost none of the companies had ever violated Proposition 65.
Becerra based that on the confidential product tests Leeman had submitted to his office â and that by law, only his office sees. The tests showed that 15 of the 19 companies had never brewed tea with lead above the newly bargained standard both parties were asking the judge to approve, Becerraâs office revealed. That would leave most of the defendants free to serve the public the same old tea, he said. That might suit the parties to the lawsuit, but it didnât serve the public interest, Becerraâs office argued.
Corash, the attorney for Starbucks, came to Chanlerâs defense.
âEveryone benefits, including the public, from having a standard,â she told San Francisco County Superior Court Judge Harold E. Kahn. Besides, the state stood to collect substantial penalties as part of the settlement, she reminded him.
Kahn approved the accord, along with fees for Chanler Law Group: $480,000. Leeman collected her 25% bounty from the penalty, or $26,250. The state got the rest: $78,750.
Chanler told the judge his expenses far exceeded what he collected.
Other companies that had quietly settled before the Starbucks case benefited retroactively. Agreements in 13 of those early cases included a clause that allowed the companies to adhere to any future standard set by Leeman â and the Starbucks agreement now set it 10 times higher than the âall-but-zeroâ level to which they had agreed, according to court records.
Leeman and Chanler were not done with the tea aisle. Four months after the Starbucks settlement, they filed violation notices against three more tea companies: Bigelow, Hain Celestial and a distributor, Walong Marketing.
Becerraâs office publicly demanded the pair withdraw those cases â they had âno meritâ based on what he knew about their test results, he wrote. Such public demands amount to scolding â they hold no consequences if theyâre ignored, and Chanler ignored them. Deputy Atty. Gen. Harrison Pollak met them in court, before the same judge who had rejected Chanlerâs arguments in the Starbucks case.
Pollak argued that the cases were âan abuse of Proposition 65.â How could Leeman and Chanler prosecute companies whose teas never exceeded the standard they had just fought to establish a year earlier, before the same judge, in the Starbucks cases?
Again, it was the attorney for the tea companies who fought the attorney general. The defendants, attorney Trenton Norris argued, wanted an even playing field â the same lead limit their competitors had won in the Starbucks case. Even though they hadnât failed that Starbucks standard, they were willing to pay $58,500 apiece ($19,500 for Walong) to settle the dispute and keep from being sued over it again.
This toasted nori at Lassens Natural Foods & Vitamins in Echo Park is certified organic â but also stuck with a Proposition 65 warning.
(Dania Maxwell / Los Angeles Times)
Kahn would have none of it this time. He threw out the settlement and dismissed the three cases.
Fighting for a settlement, despite no evidence of a violation, was not as unusual as it might seem, said lead attorney Norris, representing tea companies Bigelow and Hain.
âWe look at cases all the time that are completely without merit but are too expensive to litigate,â Norris said. âYou have to explain all the science to a judge who maybe last studied chemistry in 1968.â
Chanler told The Times that he was prepared to do the science at trial, and show that lead concentrations at or below the eventual compromise standard â 10 parts per billion â would still have exposed consumers to a dose of lead above the Proposition 65 limit. He also said he had additional tests showing even higher lead concentrations.
His client, Leeman, suggested that the attorney general could have taken a stronger role in the case â the office has taken over citizen prosecutions in the past, reaching several milestone agreements on products such as ceramics, candy, jewelry and toys.
A Starbucks spokesperson said the company is âcommitted to providing safe, quality products for our customers.â The company declined to respond to detailed questions about the case.
Tea seller Bigelow has said the most lead it has detected in its brewed teas was one-fifth the amount of lead allowed in federal drinking water standards. Hain Celestial representatives didnât respond to requests for comment.
A Proposition 65 warning greets customers at the door at Trader Joeâs in Glendale.
(Dania Maxwell / Los Angeles Times)
So is tea safe?
Not enough for Gerry Schwalfenberg, a University of Alberta doctor whose toxicology study helped draw attention to heavy metals absorbed from soils by tea trees. He avoids any tea from industrialized areas of China.
âI would say itâs still beneficial to drink tea, but donât drink it from places that have excess lead,â Schwalfenberg said.
By comparison, Proposition 65 settlements have allowed 30 times more lead in chocolate, 10 times more lead in spicy Mexican tamarindo candies, six times more lead in the Mexican salsa whose serving size was reset to a teaspoon, over five times more in rice, and three times more in Nabisco Ginger Snaps cookies.
Consumers in the tea aisles of major grocery chains are none the wiser about lead in tea â none of the companies that settled with Leeman has printed a Proposition 65 warning on its tea packages.
Thatâs not the case online. Sellers who watched from the sidelines now routinely include Proposition 65 warnings on their orders. Like Plesent, they just donât want to fight California.
âIt would be virtually impossible to test every herb and every product we have for all 800 substances on the California Proposition 65 list,â online seller Tea Haven said. âFor this reason, out of an abundance of caution, we have opted to place the Proposition 65 warning on every order we ship to California.â
A package of Chinese black teas The Times ordered from Tea Haven came with a Proposition 65 sticker and a slip of paper warning about âone or more hazardous chemicals.â
There was no mention of lead.
(Lorena Elebee / Los Angeles Times)
Fear and loathing online
Online shopping, Twitter, fast fashion and Cardi B werenât around when Proposition 65 was passed.
They collided last May over a Proposition 65 warning on bikinis. California did not come out well on a national stage.
âHow can clothes cause cancer?â tweeted Azia Ani, of Atlanta, above a photo of the neon green zippered bikini she purchased from Fashion Nova, the Vernon-based brand made famous by rapper Cardi B.
The tiny white tag warned about lead, cadmium and phthalates.
Some 7,000 retweets later, Aniâs post accumulated a long string of out-of-state comments about Proposition 65 warnings on eyewear, Christmas lights, work boots, sofa cushions and gun parts.
âIâm like 90% certain that a lot of clothes expose you to the same harmful things but California requires you by law to inform the consumer,â said a user from Boston.
âDonât eat it lol,â wrote another.
âThis tag is literally on the McDonaldâs drive thru window lmao itâs everywhere,â another user commented.
Ani eventually concluded Fashion Nova was ânot getting anymore of my coins.â
Fashion Nova declined to comment about the incident or its reasons for posting the warning.
The apparel industry has been a growing target for lawsuits over lead and phthalates in metallic fibers, faux skins, zippers, clasps and buttons. Apparel and accessories are the focus of hundreds of Proposition 65 notices annually, according to a Times review of state data.
The Twitter bikini panic shows how deeply Proposition 65âs legal requirements and psychology have penetrated the national market, particularly for companies that peddle their products online.
Gardeners might struggle to glean whether the Proposition 65 warning on this potted plant pertains to the pot, the plant or the soil.
(Dania Maxwell / Los Angeles Times)
Some sellers warn every online shopper. Others wait until a customer enters a California ZIP Code. Right-wing talk show host Alex Jones, whose Infowars Life dietary supplements were tagged with a $135,000 settlement in 2018 over lead content, warns only Californians on its website, but warns everyone on Amazon, which holds its independent sellers responsible for Proposition 65 compliance.
Online reaction to warnings support what Vanderbilt University economist Kip Viscusi predicted at the lawâs genesis. His tests three decades ago showed consumers overreacted at first, equating the notices with the surgeon generalâs warnings on tobacco products.
âThe problem is the Proposition 65 warnings pick up a huge range of risk,â Viscusi said. âVery risky products such as chewing tobacco, which was among the early Proposition 65 warnings â that is clearly in a different league than something that poses a 1-in-100,000 lifetime risk of cancer.â
Because fast fashion is generally designed to last for a season, the bikiniâs cancer risk could be as low as about 1 in 7 million, by Viscusiâs calculations.
Itâs not even clear whether the bikini contains a hazardous chemical â Fashion Nova, like other companies, may have posted it without even testing.
So, buyers of the green bikini canât know enough to know what risk, if any, it poses.
But Michael Barsa, co-director of the environmental law concentration at Northwestern University Pritzker School of Law, said a consumer doesnât really have to calculate risk for Proposition 65 to accomplish its aim of making cleaner products. They only have to be afraid to buy it.
âDoes this give the consumer enough information to make an informed risk-benefit trade-off? The answer is very clearly no,â said Barsa. âBut that would be an impossible world to live in. Can you imagine you go to the supermarket and literally every item you buy youâre having to read through reams of data and exposure analysis? It would be crazy-making.â
Consumer fear âis really just what gets the ball rolling for everybody else to make the right decisions â even if that initial consumer impact is not itself rational,â Barsa said. âIf you look at the whole law and what happens with it, there may be a sort of crazy genius to it.â
Dining establishments like Il Fornaio Italian restaurant warn of potential chemicals in beverages and a variety of dishes, including fried and baked foods.
(Dania Maxwell / Los Angeles Times)
At least one seller, BJâs Wholesale Club, a membership discount outlet based in Massachusetts, decided not to bother selling to Californians because of Proposition 65.
âAt this time we are not confident that our products are consistently labeled to meet these requirements,â the company said on its website. âAs such, the company has opted to temporarily stop selling merchandise to consumers in California. We do not have an ETA on when shipping to California will be turned back on.â
Shipping to California is what pushed Grass Family Hemp out of business. The owner and sole employee, Frank Grass, sold hemp powder to Kenneth Randolph Moore of San Jose in August 2017. Months later, Moore received an ominous Proposition 65 Notice of Violation from the San Jose office of âSafe Products for Californians.â
Like Grass Family Hemp, Safe Products for Californians also is a family operation. It is registered as a for-profit corporation run by Kenneth Moore from the office of his ex-wife, attorney Tanya Moore, according to state records. He has been her only client in more than 100 cases, about half of them against Amazon sellers. The pair have netted her nearly $700,000 in lawyer fees, according to attorney general records.
Grass reached out to the Moores to explain that he was exempt from Proposition 65, which applies only to companies with 10 or more employees. He was a one-man shop operating from his home in Aurora, Colo., selling via Amazon, he said.
Industrial sites like Aerocraft Heat Treating in Paramount require Proposition 65 notices in addition to other warning signs.
(Genaro Molina / Los Angeles Times)
âShe didnât care,â Grass said of Tanya Moore. âShe just skipped over it like it wasnât even said.â
A judge didnât rule on that defense â both parties agreed to mediation, after which Moore requested that the case be dismissed.
Reached by The Times, Tanya Moore declined to talk about the case, her client or where he conducts business, citing attorney-client privilege. (Proposition 65 settlements are public, and are posted to the attorney generalâs website.)
âI cannot discuss any specific cases,â Moore told The Times. âI cannot discuss any of our settlements.â
The legal tangle cost Grass $5,000, and his company â he opted to dissolve it.
âIâm not going to be selling on Amazon anytime soon,â he said.
And certainly not to California.
Mohan is a former Times staff writer. Staff writer Ryan Menezes contributed to this report.
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How the Blood of Jesus Has Performed the Greatest Miracle
The greatest miracle is the miracle of salvation.
HOW SHALL WE ESCAPE, IF WE NEGLECT SO GREAT SALVATION; which at the first began to be spoken by the Lord, and was confirmed unto us by them that heard him;
Hebrews 2:3
Salvation is the greatest miracle because it is a combination of seven fantastic experiences. Â Each of these experiences is an amazing and incredible event. Â The seven experiences of salvation are clear. These are all fantastic miracles that would not happen naturally. Â
Seven Experiences of Salvation
a.Salvation involves you being forgiven. Â
b.Salvation involves the record of your sins being wiped away Â
c.Salvation involves being loved as you are. Â
d.Salvation involves your release from prison and captivity. Â
e.Salvation involves a light shining in your darkness. Â
f.Salvation involves your going to heaven. Â
g.Salvation involves you getting to know Jesus Christ. Â
1.Salvation is the greatest miracle because it is a miracle for anyone to be forgiven. Â
Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.
Isaiah 1:18
There was a man who came home and found his wife in bed with another man. Â He was very angry with his wife. Â When he reported this to the pastors they all expected that he would divorce his wife. To everyoneâs amazement, he did not divorce his wife but rather forgave her and warned her not do that again. Â This was a big surprise to the entire church family. Â It was indeed a great miracle for the husband to forgive his wife, even after catching her in the very act. Â This lady experienced the miracle of forgiveness from her husband. Â This is the miracle that converts something that is red as scarlet to become as white as snow. Â
2.Salvation is the greatest miracle because it is always a miracle for your sins to be wiped away. Â
Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.
Isaiah 1:18
Heaven is a place where there are no more records of your failures and mistakes. Â When you are forgiven and the record of your sins is wiped away, it is as if you never sinned. In our world today, the records of any past criminal activity is never wiped away. If you commit any sin it remains recorded on the internet forever. Â Human beings decide never to forget what you have done. Â Today, there is a movement which is fighting for the right to be forgotten. Â Through the right to be forgotten, they are asking that records of certain things should be removed from the internet. Â WE are not fighting for the right to be forgotten through the blood of Jesus! Â We are receiving pardon and the records are being washed away mercifully. Â Â Â
When you have been a criminal, there are always forms to fill which call up your past sins and mistakes. It is indeed a great blessing to have your sins washed away and the records changed forever. Â Â Through the blood of Jesus, your sins will be washed away and though they were red like crimson they become white as wool. Â There is no more record.
3.Salvation is the greatest miracle because it is always a miracle for someone to love a person who has many problems. Â
But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans 5:8
In our world today, it is a miracle for someone with serious deformities to find a spouse. I once saw a man who had fallen in love with a crippled lady. It was a miracle because she could not do anything to help herself. Why would someone marry a person with such deformities and obvious handicaps? Â This is the question you must ask Jesus Christ. Why?
Why would He come towards us and even desire to be close to people with such complex failings? Â But God has demonstrated His love towards us by doing the greatest miracle ever: salvation! Â While we are yet sinners, full of evil, full of wickedness and full of defects, He loves us. Â This is the greatest miracle! Â The salvation of wicked sinners!
4.Salvation is the greatest miracle because it is always a miracle for someone to be released from prison. Â
The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, TO PREACH DELIVERANCE TO THE CAPTIVES, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised
Luke 4:18
I once met a prisoner who touched my heart. This man was a convicted murderer. Â He was in prison for life because he had murdered his own son. Â His fervency, zeal and prayer life touched me so much that I wanted him to be released from prison. Try as I did, I could not think of any way to get him out of the prison. Â The prison gates were heavily guarded and there were armed solders everywhere, so I quickly discarded the idea of helping him escape. Â
I thought about getting a presidential pardon for this man. Â But I did not know the president, nor did I know anyone who knew the president. Â As I left the prison that day, I looked at this prayerful prisoner and thought to myself, âit is going to take a miracle to get you out of here.â Â
Indeed, it will take a miracle to get the souls of this world out of the prison. Â To be saved is to be set free from captivity. Â Today, if salvation has come to you, the great miracle of being set free from prison has happened to you. Â Salvation is the greatest miracle. Â
5.Salvation is the greatest miracle because it is always a great miracle for light to shine into the darkness. Â
THE PEOPLE THAT WALKED IN DARKNESS HAVE SEEN A GREAT LIGHT: they that dwell in the land of the shadow of death, upon them hath the light shined.
Isaiah 9:2
It is a great miracle for light to come into a personâs life. Light is a miracle. When the light shines into the darkness, a great miracle has taken place. Â For lights to come on in a country there must be a dam or a massive power plant. Â
Great technology, scientific discoveries and lots of money must be deployed to turn the lights on  in a dark country. That is why there are still many countries that do not have electricity today. It takes a miracle for the lights to come on.  If salvation has appeared to you, a light has shone in the darkness of your soul.  Believe me, God has shown mercy to you and done a great miracle in your life! Surely, salvation must be the greatest miracle. Â
6.Salvation is the greatest miracle because it is a great miracle for you to go to heaven. Â
And one of the elders answered, saying unto me, what are these which are arrayed in white robes? And WHENCE CAME THEY?
And I said unto him, Sir, thou knowest. And he said to me, these are they which came out of great tribulation, and have washed their robes, and made them white in the blood of the Lamb.
Revelation 7:13-14 Â
Even in this world there are places that you will never go to. Â Will you ever walk in the Kremlin, in the White House or in the Head of Stateâs bedroom? Â Not likely! Â If you were ever to walk in the Oval Office of the White House, it would be a miracle. But heaven is even greater than the Oval Office of the White House. Â It would be a great miracle for you to ever walk on those streets of gold. Â
If you ever have the chance to walk on the streets of gold, you would have experienced a great miracle. Today, if God is giving you an entrance to heaven, a great miracle has taken place. Think about how bad you are, how full of sin and how full of evil you are. Â How could somebody as low or me ever find his way into a place like heaven? That must be a miracle! Â For somebody like you to be welcomed into heaven is a great miracle indeed! Â This is why your salvation is the greatest miracle on earth. Â Â
7.Salvation is the greatest miracle because it is a great miracle for you to know Jesus. Â
Wherefore, my brethren, ye also are become dead to the law by the body of Christ; THAT YE SHOULD BE MARRIED TO ANOTHER, EVEN TO HIM who is raised from the dead, that we should bring forth fruit unto God.
Romans 7:4
Today, God is giving you the great privilege of coming close to the Prince of Peace and the Lord of Lords. Â Â
Finding salvation is finding Jesus Christ. There are certain people you will never meet in your life. Â
It is not like that you will ever meet the president of China or the Prime Minister of England. Â To meet any of these people would be a great miracle indeed. Â The other day, I spoke to the president of a certain country. Â That was a great miracle because there was no way that this president would ever have had a phone conversation with me. Â Â
Even on earth, you never thought you would marry the prince. It would be such a miracle to be married to the prince, to live with him, to stay with him, to bath with him and to eat with him. What an amazing privilege it would be to even meet the prince! Â
To meet Jesus Christ is an even greater miracle. To be married to Christ is unthinkable. You never thought you would be married to Christ. Isnât it? Â But the bible teaches us that when we are saved we are married to Christ. Â
by Dag Heward-Mills
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Vermont Soapâs feel-good natural products came with everything a California consumer had come to expect: an organic certification, a non-GMO seal of approval, a âcruelty freeâ bunny silhouette. And a warning that it harbored a âchemical known to the state of California to cause cancer, birth defects or reproductive harm.â Confused? So was Larry Plesent, who founded his soap company in presidential candidate Bernie Sandersâ liberal home state on the notion of replacing âyuckyâ chemicals with âyummyâ natural ones. That was exactly what Proposition 65âs architects had in mind when they convinced California voters to approve the ballot initiative in 1986 â to coerce companies into replacing toxic chemicals with safe ones rather than bear the burden of a Scarlet Letter stamped on their products. More than three decades later, Plesent and many other manufacturers find themselves at odds with a lawsuit mill that has grown around Proposition 65, which gave citizens the right to prosecute companies through the same county courts that handle divorces and fender-benders. âI think the original intent was very positive,â Plesent said. âBut political forces became involved to make Proposition 65 overwhelming, overreaching, overdone and overblown.â In Plesentâs case, he feared he could be sued over those same âyummyâ natural replacements. One of them, a compound found in carrots, hops, lemongrass and cannabis, had been linked to cancerous renal tumors in male rats that were force-fed large quantities of it, five days a week, for up to two years. That earned it a place on the Proposition 65 list in 2015, over objections from the makers of sustainable products and carrot growers. Plesent made a strictly business decision: âWe do not wish to fight against California.â He added a warning. Plesent is not alone. Companies in every sector of the consumer economy now routinely attach warnings for any of the more than 900 chemicals and elements covered by Proposition 65, without testing for them or attempting to reformulate products. They fear citizen-enforcer lawsuits more than they fear freaking out customers. That profusion of warnings has subverted Proposition 65 and left Californians, and increasingly anyone who shops online, overwarned, underinformed and potentially unprotected, a Times investigation has found. And it has funneled hundreds of millions of dollars to a handful of attorneys and their repeat clients. Proposition 65 warnings now greet guests at Disneyland, drivers at California parking garages, visitors at hotels, shoppers at car dealerships and lunchgoers in fast-food lines. A Proposition 65 sign warns visitors to Disneyland that they may be exposed to chemicals that can cause cancer or reproductive harm. (Myung J. Chun / Los Angeles Times) Where Proposition 65 prosecutions once targeted notoriously hazardous toxins such as mercury found in hemorrhoid suppositories and lead in spiced Mexican candies, they now claim that cancer, birth defects or reproductive harm might arise from dalliances with bondage tape or from opening a Bible; from grasping a pair of pliers with bare hands, or donning polyurethane-coated safety gloves. From chewing on the plastic frames of glasses, leaving them on your nose, or touching the zipper pull of their carrying case. From smoking pot, and burning the rolling papers used to twist it up. From casting a plastic lure on a lake. In the early years of Proposition 65, state attorneys general filed actions against industrial polluters and makers of widely used products with high concentrations of toxins â it won agreements limiting lead in ceramics and acrylamide in French fries, for example. These days, the attorney generalâs office files few cases. More commonly, it pushes back against abuses by the primary enforcer empowered by the fine print of Proposition 65 â citizen prosecutors who have filed more than 30,000 violation notices under the measure since it went into effect in 1988. Four consecutive attorneys general have accused these citizen enforcers and their attorneys of preying on companies that can ill afford to defend themselves, of filing weak or frivolous cases, collecting unreasonable fees, and offering illusory remedies in settlements that vaccinate companies from further accountability for their products. One $100,000 settlement over lead in salsa didnât eliminate lead and didnât result in a printed warning, either; it changed fine print on the label â the âportionâ went from a tablespoon to a teaspoon. Another settlement for $40,000 tried to resolve an acrylamide exposure case by changing the preheating instructions for frozen organic potatoes before the attorney general declared the settlement contrary to the law, against public policy and unenforceable. A plumbing company in 2017 agreed to confidentially pay one San Diego plaintiffâs lawyer nearly $15,000 without promising to change anything about phthalates in dryer hoses. The accord was withdrawn after the attorney general said it âappears simply to be a payment to the enforcer and her counsel in exchange for the agreement not to sue.â Legislative attempts to curb such behavior temporarily slowed the rise in Proposition 65 prosecutions, reined in their costs and limited the shares collected by perpetual plaintiffs and their attorneys. But 2018 saw a record of 829 settlements totaling $35 million, according to the most recent data from the California attorney generalâs office. Litigating Proposition 65 enforcement has cost businesses more than $370 million in settlements since 2000, according to the state. New labeling requirements alone are expected to cost California companies between $410 million and $818 million over the next decade, the California Chamber of Commerce estimates. No public agency verifies how many warnings get posted, nor whether all the promises companies have made to private enforcers are kept. More than three decades into Californiaâs right-to-know revolution, consumers today donât know much about the health risks posed by consumer goods. Itâs nearly impossible to tell whether to put down a product bearing a warning and choose one without it â either one may present a high risk, a low risk or no risk. The deepest internet dive is unlikely to surface an answer before consumers reach the checkout or finalize their order online. That kind of information is buried in the back pages of civil court settlements that horse-trade consumer safety and business costs. None of those legal battles goes to a jury. Few go all the way to a judgeâs ruling. Millions of dollars change hands. A tiny portion goes to the state agency charged with protecting consumers from toxic exposure. Attorney fees account for nearly three-quarters of the more than $300 million that has been paid out in Proposition 65 settlements since 2000, according to state data. The lionâs share of that goes to a handful of habitual litigants, several of which amount to opaque front groups with closer ties to attorneys than to California consumers, The Times has found. Meanwhile, shoppers have grown inured to the warnings. This was not what Bay Area environmental attorney David Roe had in mind when he drafted Proposition 65 as a market-driven alternative to government mandates that would persuade companies to clean up to avoid having to âfess up.â âFrom my perspective, every warning is a failure,â said Roe, who believes that meaningful compliance still predominates over abuses. Proposition 65 permanently changed the way companies assess risk and choose ingredients, and took tons of toxic chemicals out of production. Most companies quietly clean up their act, he said. But the process, he said, isnât perfect. âThe thing about private enforcement is that everybody can do it,â Roe said. âYou get the good, the bad and the ugly.â Born to fail Political strategists in 1986 hoped Proposition 65 would draw liberal-leaning voters to the polls and help Democratic L.A. Mayor Tom Bradley, left, unseat Republican Gov. George Deukmejian. Californians ended up backing the proposition but not Bradley. (Rick Meyer / Los Angeles Times) Not even Roe thought Proposition 65 would pass in 1986. Few sweeping environmental ballot measures had survived vigorous industry-funded counter-campaigns. But Los Angeles Mayor Tom Bradley, a Democrat, needed help in his gubernatorial rematch race with Republican incumbent George Deukmejian. Political strategists such as Tom Hayden, then a state assemblyman, and his wife at the time, Jane Fonda, saw toxic pollution as a way to draw liberal-leaning voters to the polls and exploit a political weak point for Deukmejian, who had vetoed several toxic cleanup bills. Hayden, among others, bankrolled the measure. But it fell to others to write it. âWhat was in it â the content â didnât really matter to that strategy at all,â said Roe. âIt was about the headline, not the fine print.â Details fell largely to Roe and a couple of other environmental attorneys. âItâs a very unusual design,â Roe said. âYou would never have been able to draft, by committee, anything as innovative as Prop. 65.â Bradley lost. Proposition 65 won, by a 2-1 margin. The fine print suddenly mattered. And in that fine print were the seeds of Proposition 65âs successes and excesses. The Safe Drinking Water and Toxic Enforcement Act, as Proposition 65 was formally known, said that âno person in the course of doing business shall knowingly discharge or release a chemical known to the state to cause cancer or reproductive toxicity into waterâ or anywhere else where it might lead to a drinking water source. It also said that âno person in the course of doing business shall knowingly and intentionally exposeâ anyone to those chemicals âwithout first giving clear and reasonable warning.â The usual people would enforce it â the state attorney general and local district attorneys. But so could âany person in the public interest.â Those words deputized citizens to sue anyone exposing Californians to toxins in the products they used. Determining what constituted a toxin â and how much was unsafe â fell to the state, which listed scores of chemicals already identified in existing law or by other agencies. Two panels of appointed experts also could add chemicals based on the expertise of reputable agencies, or look at the science and decide for themselves. Lawsuits eventually forced the state to also consider toxins linked only to cancer in animals. The list has since grown to more than 900 chemicals and elements. That broad and cautious view of whatâs considered risky for Californians is why Plesent, of Vermont Soap, opted to issue a warning with his products in 2015, over a flavor and fragrance compound called beta-myrcene, which had been linked to renal cancers in rodents. âThat doesnât mean that if you wash with lemon grass soap you [will] be in danger,â said Plesent. âThereâs a difference between 2% to 3% essential oils in a wash-off product and 100% essential oils being force-fed down your little mouse throat.â Telling that to a judge can be prohibitively expensive â Proposition 65 places the burden of proof on the defendant, a reversal of the âpresumption of innocenceâ principle that otherwise underpins the U.S. justice system. So Plesent surrendered without a fight. âWe canât test everything.⌠So weâre going to put this warning on,â he said. One customer then demanded a refund for $7,000 worth of goods she had bought to start her own private-label line of ânontoxicâ bath goods. Plesent complied. Vermont Soap now refers customers to a five-page explainer on risks associated with essential oils published by the American Herbal Products Assn. industry group. âThe issue kind of went away,â Plesent said. If the issue doesnât go away, companies turn to Mike Easter. Easter is an environmental toxicologist and attorney who has helped companies win state-sanctioned âsafe useâ concentrations for Proposition 65 chemicals, protecting them from prosecution. That remedy is so strictly limited that the state has granted only nine of these in 32 years, out of the more than 100,000 products that have been targeted by citizen prosecutors. Two years ago, the sports fishing industry hired Easter after citizen enforcers accused member companies of exposing the lure-fishing public to illegal doses of phthalates, common plasticizers that can rub off their barbed versions of squid, shad and frogs. Among other facts, Easter dug out how many times sport license holders fished (18.3 times a year, according to the American Sportsfishing Assn.), for how long (six hours), how many times they might touch a lure during that time, how much of the phthalates might transfer to their fingers, how often those fingers might touch their mouth area when they ate or smoked, and how all that would play out over years of recreational fishing. He used the results to figure out the maximum concentration of phthalates that could be on lure makersâ ersatz baits before they exceeded the daily dose set by the state â a level that is set 1,000 times lower than the conventional zero-effect threshold used in toxicology. A judge approved a $90,000 consent agreement last year. The seven companies signing the settlement know how much phthalates they can use before warning anglers. Other lure makers can join the agreement for $2,150 to $59,150, depending on their size. That kind of science-driven accord is time-consuming and expensive. Plaintiff attorneys have sought more than a million dollars in fees in each of several long-running cases, according to court records. Most times, attorneys just work out a less expensive compromise. Thatâs what happened in the case of companies selling tea. A tempest over tea Over the course of two years, dozens of tea companies shelled out more than $1 million to one citizen enforcer and her attorney. They walked away without having to do much of anything about lead allegedly found in their tea. They also did not submit as evidence anything like the analysis Easter does. Figuring that out was too risky for either side, the plaintiff attorney told a judge. So they horse-traded. The cases show how Proposition 65 can leave the consumers with the right to know almost nothing, including whether a pregnant woman might be condemning her future child to learning disabilities brought on by lead exposure. Hereâs how that happened. In 2016, Sacramento environmental engineer Whitney Leeman served violation notices to more than three dozen tea companies, alleging their infusions exceeded Proposition 65âs lead exposure standards. The notices warn companies that they have 60 days to work out a deal or face a lawsuit. That waiting period gives public prosecutors such as the attorney general and county district attorneys a shot at taking over the case on behalf of the public. None did. Tea companies including Starbucks-owned Teavana paid over $1 million to settle one Proposition 65 case â with little effect on the lead allegedly found in their teas. (Damian Dovarganes / Associated Press) Among the most prolific citizen prosecutors using Proposition 65, Leeman has collected more than $550,000 in bounties (a 25% share of civil penalties) since 2001, attorney general records show. The Berkeley-based firm that has represented her, the Chanler Group, has collected more than $7 million in fees from those cases â part of the more than $55 million the firm has collected in Proposition 65 fees over 20 years, according to state records. Along the way, Clifford Chanler, the firmâs founder, has drawn the ire of multiple attorneys general and members of Congress, one of whom likened him to the extortionate troll under the bridge from the fairy tale âThe Three Billy Goats Gruff.â Chanler calls that a âcheap shotâ and defends his record. âOur work was the undisputed catalyst in large settlements brought by public enforcers that mandated chemicals such as lead being removed from the inside and outside of bottles of Coca-Cola, Pepsi, and Dr. Pepper, among other items,â he wrote in an email response to questions from The Times. Small tea companies quickly settled the accusations by promising to keep lead to a barely measurable level â effectively zero â or warn consumers. The settlements drew no public attention from the attorney general. Everyone benefits, including the public, from having a standard. Michele Corash, an attorney hired by Starbucks Nineteen companies banded together and went to court to defend themselves, led by Starbucks, maker of Teavana. Starbucks hired a top gun who knew Leeman, Chanler and Proposition 65 well â Michele Corash, who had advised opponents of the ballot measure back in 1986 and had won a milestone exemption for the meat industry, nullifying cases Leeman and the Chanler firm had filed against meat companies. Within months, though, the two rival litigants found themselves on the same side, trying to persuade a judge to accept a compromise settlement. First, though, they had to fight an unusual adversary â the stateâs highest law enforcement officer, Atty. Gen. Xavier Becerra. Even glassware at Williams Sonoma on Beverly Drive is displayed with a Proposition 65 warning. (Dania Maxwell / Los Angeles Times) Becerraâs office had ended its silence on the cases with a rare intervention and bombshell disclosure in court: Based on what both parties were now offering as a âsafeâ level, almost none of the companies had ever violated Proposition 65. Becerra based that on the confidential product tests Leeman had submitted to his office â and that by law, only his office sees. The tests showed that 15 of the 19 companies had never brewed tea with lead above the newly bargained standard both parties were asking the judge to approve, Becerraâs office revealed. That would leave most of the defendants free to serve the public the same old tea, he said. That might suit the parties to the lawsuit, but it didnât serve the public interest, Becerraâs office argued. Corash, the attorney for Starbucks, came to Chanlerâs defense. âEveryone benefits, including the public, from having a standard,â she told San Francisco County Superior Court Judge Harold E. Kahn. Besides, the state stood to collect substantial penalties as part of the settlement, she reminded him. Kahn approved the accord, along with fees for Chanler Law Group: $480,000. Leeman collected her 25% bounty from the penalty, or $26,250. The state got the rest: $78,750. Chanler told the judge his expenses far exceeded what he collected. Other companies that had quietly settled before the Starbucks case benefited retroactively. Agreements in 13 of those early cases included a clause that allowed the companies to adhere to any future standard set by Leeman â and the Starbucks agreement now set it 10 times higher than the âall-but-zeroâ level to which they had agreed, according to court records. Leeman and Chanler were not done with the tea aisle. Four months after the Starbucks settlement, they filed violation notices against three more tea companies: Bigelow, Hain Celestial and a distributor, Walong Marketing. Becerraâs office publicly demanded the pair withdraw those cases â they had âno meritâ based on what he knew about their test results, he wrote. Such public demands amount to scolding â they hold no consequences if theyâre ignored, and Chanler ignored them. Deputy Atty. Gen. Harrison Pollak met them in court, before the same judge who had rejected Chanlerâs arguments in the Starbucks case. Pollak argued that the cases were âan abuse of Proposition 65.â How could Leeman and Chanler prosecute companies whose teas never exceeded the standard they had just fought to establish a year earlier, before the same judge, in the Starbucks cases? Again, it was the attorney for the tea companies who fought the attorney general. The defendants, attorney Trenton Norris argued, wanted an even playing field â the same lead limit their competitors had won in the Starbucks case. Even though they hadnât failed that Starbucks standard, they were willing to pay $58,500 apiece ($19,500 for Walong) to settle the dispute and keep from being sued over it again. This toasted nori at Lassens Natural Foods & Vitamins in Echo Park is certified organic â but also stuck with a Proposition 65 warning. (Dania Maxwell / Los Angeles Times) Kahn would have none of it this time. He threw out the settlement and dismissed the three cases. Fighting for a settlement, despite no evidence of a violation, was not as unusual as it might seem, said lead attorney Norris, representing tea companies Bigelow and Hain. âWe look at cases all the time that are completely without merit but are too expensive to litigate,â Norris said. âYou have to explain all the science to a judge who maybe last studied chemistry in 1968.â Chanler told The Times that he was prepared to do the science at trial, and show that lead concentrations at or below the eventual compromise standard â 10 parts per billion â would still have exposed consumers to a dose of lead above the Proposition 65 limit. He also said he had additional tests showing even higher lead concentrations. His client, Leeman, suggested that the attorney general could have taken a stronger role in the case â the office has taken over citizen prosecutions in the past, reaching several milestone agreements on products such as ceramics, candy, jewelry and toys. A Starbucks spokesperson said the company is âcommitted to providing safe, quality products for our customers.â The company declined to respond to detailed questions about the case. Tea seller Bigelow has said the most lead it has detected in its brewed teas was one-fifth the amount of lead allowed in federal drinking water standards. Hain Celestial representatives didnât respond to requests for comment. A Proposition 65 warning greets customers at the door at Trader Joeâs in Glendale. (Dania Maxwell / Los Angeles Times) So is tea safe? Not enough for Gerry Schwalfenberg, a University of Alberta doctor whose toxicology study helped draw attention to heavy metals absorbed from soils by tea trees. He avoids any tea from industrialized areas of China. âI would say itâs still beneficial to drink tea, but donât drink it from places that have excess lead,â Schwalfenberg said. By comparison, Proposition 65 settlements have allowed 30 times more lead in chocolate, 10 times more lead in spicy Mexican tamarindo candies, six times more lead in the Mexican salsa whose serving size was reset to a teaspoon, over five times more in rice, and three times more in Nabisco Ginger Snaps cookies. Consumers in the tea aisles of major grocery chains are none the wiser about lead in tea â none of the companies that settled with Leeman has printed a Proposition 65 warning on its tea packages. Thatâs not the case online. Sellers who watched from the sidelines now routinely include Proposition 65 warnings on their orders. Like Plesent, they just donât want to fight California. âIt would be virtually impossible to test every herb and every product we have for all 800 substances on the California Proposition 65 list,â online seller Tea Haven said. âFor this reason, out of an abundance of caution, we have opted to place the Proposition 65 warning on every order we ship to California.â A package of Chinese black teas The Times ordered from Tea Haven came with a Proposition 65 sticker and a slip of paper warning about âone or more hazardous chemicals.â There was no mention of lead. (Lorena Elebee / Los Angeles Times) Fear and loathing online Online shopping, Twitter, fast fashion and Cardi B werenât around when Proposition 65 was passed. They collided last May over a Proposition 65 warning on bikinis. California did not come out well on a national stage. âHow can clothes cause cancer?â tweeted Azia Ani, of Atlanta, above a photo of the neon green zippered bikini she purchased from Fashion Nova, the Vernon-based brand made famous by rapper Cardi B. The tiny white tag warned about lead, cadmium and phthalates. Some 7,000 retweets later, Aniâs post accumulated a long string of out-of-state comments about Proposition 65 warnings on eyewear, Christmas lights, work boots, sofa cushions and gun parts. âIâm like 90% certain that a lot of clothes expose you to the same harmful things but California requires you by law to inform the consumer,â said a user from Boston. âDonât eat it lol,â wrote another. âThis tag is literally on the McDonaldâs drive thru window lmao itâs everywhere,â another user commented. Ani eventually concluded Fashion Nova was ânot getting anymore of my coins.â Fashion Nova declined to comment about the incident or its reasons for posting the warning. The apparel industry has been a growing target for lawsuits over lead and phthalates in metallic fibers, faux skins, zippers, clasps and buttons. Apparel and accessories are the focus of hundreds of Proposition 65 notices annually, according to a Times review of state data. The Twitter bikini panic shows how deeply Proposition 65âs legal requirements and psychology have penetrated the national market, particularly for companies that peddle their products online. Gardeners might struggle to glean whether the Proposition 65 warning on this potted plant pertains to the pot, the plant or the soil. (Dania Maxwell / Los Angeles Times) Some sellers warn every online shopper. Others wait until a customer enters a California ZIP Code. Right-wing talk show host Alex Jones, whose Infowars Life dietary supplements were tagged with a $135,000 settlement in 2018 over lead content, warns only Californians on its website, but warns everyone on Amazon, which holds its independent sellers responsible for Proposition 65 compliance. Online reaction to warnings support what Vanderbilt University economist Kip Viscusi predicted at the lawâs genesis. His tests three decades ago showed consumers overreacted at first, equating the notices with the surgeon generalâs warnings on tobacco products. âThe problem is the Proposition 65 warnings pick up a huge range of risk,â Viscusi said. âVery risky products such as chewing tobacco, which was among the early Proposition 65 warnings â that is clearly in a different league than something that poses a 1-in-100,000 lifetime risk of cancer.â Because fast fashion is generally designed to last for a season, the bikiniâs cancer risk could be as low as about 1 in 7 million, by Viscusiâs calculations. Itâs not even clear whether the bikini contains a hazardous chemical â Fashion Nova, like other companies, may have posted it without even testing. So, buyers of the green bikini canât know enough to know what risk, if any, it poses. But Michael Barsa, co-director of the environmental law concentration at Northwestern University Pritzker School of Law, said a consumer doesnât really have to calculate risk for Proposition 65 to accomplish its aim of making cleaner products. They only have to be afraid to buy it. âDoes this give the consumer enough information to make an informed risk-benefit trade-off? The answer is very clearly no,â said Barsa. âBut that would be an impossible world to live in. Can you imagine you go to the supermarket and literally every item you buy youâre having to read through reams of data and exposure analysis? It would be crazy-making.â Consumer fear âis really just what gets the ball rolling for everybody else to make the right decisions â even if that initial consumer impact is not itself rational,â Barsa said. âIf you look at the whole law and what happens with it, there may be a sort of crazy genius to it.â Dining establishments like Il Fornaio Italian restaurant warn of potential chemicals in beverages and a variety of dishes, including fried and baked foods. (Dania Maxwell / Los Angeles Times) At least one seller, BJâs Wholesale Club, a membership discount outlet based in Massachusetts, decided not to bother selling to Californians because of Proposition 65. âAt this time we are not confident that our products are consistently labeled to meet these requirements,â the company said on its website. âAs such, the company has opted to temporarily stop selling merchandise to consumers in California. We do not have an ETA on when shipping to California will be turned back on.â Shipping to California is what pushed Grass Family Hemp out of business. The owner and sole employee, Frank Grass, sold hemp powder to Kenneth Randolph Moore of San Jose in August 2017. Months later, Moore received an ominous Proposition 65 Notice of Violation from the San Jose office of âSafe Products for Californians.â Like Grass Family Hemp, Safe Products for Californians also is a family operation. It is registered as a for-profit corporation run by Kenneth Moore from the office of his ex-wife, attorney Tanya Moore, according to state records. He has been her only client in more than 100 cases, about half of them against Amazon sellers. The pair have netted her nearly $700,000 in lawyer fees, according to attorney general records. Grass reached out to the Moores to explain that he was exempt from Proposition 65, which applies only to companies with 10 or more employees. He was a one-man shop operating from his home in Aurora, Colo., selling via Amazon, he said. Industrial sites like Aerocraft Heat Treating in Paramount require Proposition 65 notices in addition to other warning signs. (Genaro Molina / Los Angeles Times) âShe didnât care,â Grass said of Tanya Moore. âShe just skipped over it like it wasnât even said.â A judge didnât rule on that defense â both parties agreed to mediation, after which Moore requested that the case be dismissed. Reached by The Times, Tanya Moore declined to talk about the case, her client or where he conducts business, citing attorney-client privilege. (Proposition 65 settlements are public, and are posted to the attorney generalâs website.) âI cannot discuss any specific cases,â Moore told The Times. âI cannot discuss any of our settlements.â The legal tangle cost Grass $5,000, and his company â he opted to dissolve it. âIâm not going to be selling on Amazon anytime soon,â he said. And certainly not to California. Mohan is a former Times staff writer. Staff writer Ryan Menezes contributed to this report. window.fbAsyncInit = function() { FB.init({ appId : '119932621434123', xfbml : true, version : 'v2.9' }); }; (function(d, s, id){ var js, fjs = d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0]; if (d.getElementById(id)) {return;} js = d.createElement(s); js.id = id; js.src = "https://ift.tt/1sGOfhN"; fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js, fjs); }(document, 'script', 'facebook-jssdk')); The post Prop. 65 warns of cancer and birth defects. Do shoppers care? appeared first on Shri Times.
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