#to actual genuine affection
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Me: *makes a silly fun joke character*
Me: :)
The joke character: *organically develops feelings, lore, a conscience, and generally a sprawling story about cycles of abuse and the tragedy of man's inability to change*
Me: :(
#oc: khel melarn#squirrel plays bg3#much as i'm taking the piss out of everything as i'm playing.....#man he really must feel deeply awful all the time#everything is just slipping through his fingers#and that glimpse of a potential happiness from sharing a tender moment with Gale is going to be baaaaad#like sure the dynamic with Minthara is going to be very interesting to observe#but... i hope the feelings there will turn from fear and an immediate unquestioning obedience instilled in him by a life as a male drow#to actual genuine affection#because right now it does carry some dubcon undertones that i'm... let's say; apprehensive about
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4 MINUTES (2024) I 1.04
The first time.
#4 minutes the series#4 minutes#greattyme#great x tyme#bible wichapas#jes jespipat#userrlaura#userrlana#userfaiza#uservix#bl series#thai bl#this was a cultural reset im afraid bc they're so soft with each other wtf#all the acting choices were sooooo right bc it wouldn't make sense for them to go at each other in the wildest way#that's just not who they are#also i think this scene clearly was supposed to contrast the first time between korn and tonkla#while korn almost seems to be toying with tonkla - tyme is actually taking care of great and is genuine with his affection#mywork
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fighting back? against who? they're so happy—they've been waiting for you.
you are wonderful. don't you know that?
bonus: they play sims together :)
#running out of pre-made art for the queue… ;; sorry folks. hope you enjoy this though! you voted for it o7#utdr#wd gaster#gaster fanart#utdr fanart#deltarune fanart#deltarune#kris deltarune#utdr player#utdr soul#ney’s art#ney’s comics#if gaster was ever an enemy in the actual story i feel like it’d be like this. antagonistic but not behaving maliciously for fun#just dial up his genuine affection for the world to an extreme and make it tinged with Scientific Interest#bam. disconnected and maybe unintentional damage. baked with love from the void#… i do love a good edgy evil guy though. and the goofy takes are favorites too.#btw lowkey this is based on how much the fandom collectively (i think?) loves kris#like yes go blorbo we want to see you overcome all challenges :)#our buddy took all this trouble of taking us to build-a-vessel and someone just stomped on it when we finished :( rude
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I don't know what this is all I know is that LimL Joel makes me really emotional
#I know he has a tendency to go deranged on his red lives but idk something about him beginning to lose it after Jimmy died and killing Grian#joel smallishbeans#smallishbeans fanart#trafficblr#Again its his red life shenanigans but... If only Jimmy had known how affected someone was by his death. I'm choosing to believe this#and him then going out like a sad pathetic wet cat even with Grian's sacrifice... He really deserves a win one of these days lmao please#Also I cant stop thinking about how Jimmy wouldn't have left him. Grian was sensible to and most players probs would have#Joel really does become a lost cause so its fair and Grian did still care (and went to say goodbye as well as sacrifice his time for him)#But Jimmy would have stuck by even if Joel were in this state (and they'd both get themselves killed pathetically but)#And Joel having shown such genuine care for Jimmy and concern over his limited time... man anything w Jimmy makes me so emotional lol#I love them so#oh Ig about the art itself. I dont like it but hey thats how it tends to go when you try smth new. And no shame in trying#but if one person likes this then yayy I will still feel accomplished and happy#Im looking at this again and hey its not that bad actually yay I love to approve of my own art. self love hell yea#tubby art
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You ever think about how neither of them got to say goodbye?
#TSAMS#Sun and Moon Show#The Sun and Moon Show#TSAMS Lunar#SAMS Lunar#Sun#SAMS Sun#FNAF Sun#FNAF#Five Nights At Freddy's#MeaganCanDraw#I love New Moon a lot don't get me wrong but Old Moon's and Sun's relationship wasn't black and white (as much as NM wants to insist it was#YES Old Moon treated Sun horribly YES he wasn't the best person but#their relationship was also complicated and messy and they both genuinely loved each other despite everything#So much of what they did was for each other and that adds even more to the tragedy of their relationship and Moon's death#Sun and Old Moon's final conversation was them fighting#Moon's final in-person words to him were “I love you and I'm sorry”#to which Sun didn't say anything bc he was mad at him (which I don't blame him for given everything that happened in that episode)#Do you think Sun has realized this? How often does he go back to that moment#How often has he imagined himself saying or doing something different? Something that would've resulted in them leaving that bunker togethe#Meanwhile Lunar lost the person who gave him a new life and a family that actually cares about him#And he was in Moon's head for months and saw first hand how much his regrets and trauma affected him#Both of which would eventually destroy him due to the cycle of self-loathing he was trapped in#How much does HE think about that?#Anyway sorry for not posting for nearly (checks watch) two years??#It'll likely happen again#1k
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It’s so funny when liberals lecture communists about not knowing how anything works, that we need to grow up and face the real world etc, while publicly demonstrating that their political imagination is so deeply impoverished that they genuinely believe the only thing the leader of the most powerful country on the planet in all of human history can do is block a slightly more fascist guy from taking his place every four years
#one of the reasons I am a communist is because I believe in the wondrous power of a state in the hands of the working class! like it is#legitimately moving to learn about the transformative ways socialists use a proletarian state to direct a socialist society#what boer calls god-building and newton calls demiurgical. the state has a universe-building potential to it#and even setting aside socialist history the idea that the president of the US is unable to affect any local or state policy within his own#borders or foreign policy without is so baldly laughable it shouldn’t even be worth considering#except for the fact that so many people profess to genuinely believe that#whether they actually do is another story but christ alive man.
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The Helena diaz of it all has me fascinated. I’ve said for a long while that Eddie’s real issues are his mommy issues and this episode just cemented for me that we’re gonna explore that and deal with it.
Because it’s Helena who forced Eddie to grow up to fast - because her husband wasn’t around much - so she pushed Eddie into de facto parent and husband role ls - selfishly filling her needs and ignoring the damage it was doing to her son (it is a form of abuse in my book).
Eddie then had the audacity to fall in love with and marry Shannon and get her pregnant. It’s why Helena was always so off with Shannon - she was punishing her. She is also punishing Eddie for all of this and his refusal to return to El Paso only cemented further her bitterness and resentment.
Now she does have Ramon back she doesn’t need Eddie any longer to fill that role so she is still punishing him and part of that is tied into her glee over now getting to parent Christopher - something she has always been intent on doing the doppelgänger just gave her the opportunity- as well as allowing her to further punish her son and his love of Shannon.
Her barbed comments about building a pool were all about showing what she can provide Christopher - how she is parenting him better than Eddie - it’s part of her mind games - making Eddie feel like more of a failure as a parent to his son.
The reality of course is that the reverse is true - Helena’s parenting is all superficial, flash and showy - it isn’t the hard day to day parenting when things get tough and you have to be the bad guy. While Eddie has made mistakes, there is nothing superficial, flash, or showy about his parenting. It’s why bucks comments about Eddie being a great dad are so important.
Eddie feel like a failure right now and that he is entirely to blame for everything. But in reality, while he does bear a bit of the responsibility, the truth of the matter is that he needs to learn and deal with the fact that all of it actually stems from Helena and her abuse of her young son - Shannon never stood a chance just like Eddie never has.
#genuinely don’t see how she can get any sort of redemption arc#but this is 911 so maybe they’ll find a way 🤷🏻♀️#Helena’s treatment of Eddie is a form of child abuse - it has done so much damage to him psychologically#I do really hope we finally get to meet Sophia and adriana as part of this arc beciase I think it might be very revealing#I am also wondering if Ramon had a stache in the past - and that is what Eddie is subconsciously trying to mimic#and that is about him trying to regain his mothers affection - trying to fill that husband role she forced him into#and that shaving it off is a part of his dealing with that and choosing to free himself from her clutches#and in doing that - standing up for himself etc - it will be the trigger that v ring schristopher back#the catholic guilt and Eddie’s queerness is also all tied up in this - the church reinforces and condones Helena and her actions#the Catholic Church has a long history of abuse of children in all it’s horrendous forms#so Eddie seeking solace in that direction think it will help him find away back to Helena’s good books only for it to open a few doors he#has bolted shut#as for the queer aspect - forcing Eddie to grow up too fast and fill this role of husband to his mother and parent to his siblings means#Eddie never got the chance to learn who he actually is - to explore his sexuality and all that goes with that - at the age one normally#would - as a teenager and into your 20’s. it explains so much around his relationship with Shannon and dealing with the helana of it all#and the queerness of his identity - will also allow him to actually let Shannon go#Eddie’s arc is going to be incredible - heartbreaking and gut wrenching - but incredible#Helena diaz it’s on sight - she is evil and cannot be redeemed in my eyes!#911 spoilers#Thinky thoughts#eddie diaz#911 abc
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is PCRF still where you recommend people donate, or do you have another recommended group? I would like to donate but haven’t had time to do research.
(In reference to fundraising campaign I did for PCRF)
One of the most important things I have learned about conflict and healthcare and devastation, from someone who deals with them for their living, is that it is fractal, each piece of it containing unimaginable complexity, and that as a human you can’t really deal much with fractals that get more complex than, like, ferns. I am oversimplifying here. But the thing is that you cannot get bogged down endlessly in debating the nature of fractals. You decide on the level of complexity you can manage , perform an action and move on. You cannot take responsibility for every mathematical pattern that follows from your action; if you were a sort of cosmic weatherman, affecting the fates of people you’ve never met through some vague alchemy of intention, you’d know about it already. Therefore do not obsess too much over The Good Place levels of ethics and research, spiralling into fractals in search of the perfect. Therefore, also, if you want to give £2 to someone, feel free to ignore people who say “ah but if you give £2 to that guy they’ll spend it on something bad, and the whole fractal is rotten and broken.” You can only ever claim your own actions, a small piece of the fractal: to insist on your power over distant pieces of mathematical patterns is bonkers. It is religious nonsense. This is what I’ve learned and I thought it was pretty good, from someone who’d know.
So I believe the Palestine Children’s Relief Fund is not able to operate in Gaza at the moment, like many non-profits; I believe Medeciens Sans Frontiers aren’t in Gaza at the moment and that’s pretty dire indicator. However, they are mobilised in Lebanon.
The reasons why I selected PCRF to support include the fact that they have been able to deliver material aid, had pragmatic routes to evacuate children, and were reporting some success in providing/stabilising healthcare infrastructure. They have stated from the beginning that their intent was to support, and ideally restore, healthcare infrastructure, without which you cannot run a nation. I have known healthcare professionals who traveled with PCRF to work on complex cases prior to this conflict and I personally know/respect one of their prominent supporters, which helped me to make this choice. I also was hoping in the future that Gaza would have restored healthcare infrastructure and PCRF had stated their commitment to doing so.
I have received and listened to criticism about this choice, and I firmly believe that no matter what choice you make to support a cause, you’ll receive some measure of criticism (the fractal! Elodie you must consider the fractal nature of reality at all times! Scrupulous frantic morality is necessary at all times !), and that this should not stop you. To explain a bit about this, the criticisms I’ve received have mostly fallen into two camps:
- “the wrong sort of charity” - one concern is PCRF are not able to promise that their work will never support Hamas supporters or their families. This has been raised as “PCRF support Hamas”. but genuinely, given the realities of conflict, it is not practical or sane to require that people bring proof of political affiliation when seeking healthcare for their children. I’m comfortable saying that this, like other risks of fundraising/donation, is always possible but not a major consideration for me.
- “the wrong sort of fundraiser” - conversely some people stated they’d prefer I support individual families seeking evacuation through GFMs. This is also fine but my choice in the charity was partly in thinking about families who do not have GFMs, and children who do not have families. I also felt, at the time of fundraising, that supporting healthcare infrastructure was very worthy in a different way - after all, at the time the same people doing GFMs were also using/needing what healthcare was available.
My shoulders are broad, and I’m comfortable with these criticism. I am fully aware that this is not a complete solution but I personally continue to support the charity. I am explaining this to indicate that there will always be criticisms; you must accept that you can only take a small piece of the fractal, and you must accept that quite a lot of the fractal was never in your gift to control.
The situation is constantly changing and with the departure of organisations there is genuinely less hope of materially restoring the infrastructure in Gaza. At the moment donations to PCRF will likely be mobilised to Lebanon. It may be that this speaks to you. It does still speak to me.
Ultimately while it’s important to do research, it is always going to become fractal, especially in conflict situations. Nobody’s ever going to be able to point to a perfect thing that will fix everything and absolve us of criticism, you know? You will always only be able to pick up a piece of the fractal.
Now moving away from “what I personally support” there are many people more informed than myself and I would like to direct you to them as well. @gothhabiba is someone I follow who has posted several very useful posts about this and has been extremely informative, and spent a lot of time and attention on this, so I would defer to the resources and fundraisers they’ve put together. Her response to a similar question has been “pick 1-3 personal fundraisers” - this is a piece of the fractal. At the moment if what you want to do most is “materially help people in Gaza” that seems like the best option.
Also he doesn’t post much on social media, but when you get the opportunity to read a scientific article or anything by https://x.com/sullivanprof it’s worth stopping and processing. To me, Richard’s life work really shows how a piece of the fractal unpacks to reveal the whole world. I think if you have emotional space to research, it’s honestly a good investment to read some of his “manifestos” on intersections of healthcare and conflict.
#sorry if this is incoherent there are much better people to ask but I recognise that#by doing a fundraiser it is a very reasonable question#also genuinely the thing about Richard is that he is just so not bogged down by the same concerns you’ll see on social media#like#that’s a guy who just flies into warzones and starts treating people#and when you chat to a guy who does that then a lot of stuff on the internet about how much your £2#like how much tiny little intentions and £3 donations and tumblr posts and like. ao3 tags affect reality#it does put it into perspective. of course it does make a difference but the stuff that actually affects the material world is largekynmat#largely material and it usually looks like a random guy who just. goes. into warzones and treats people. and then stands up in front of#the seats of power and tells them.#and goes to conferences and teaches them.#and he does not worry about ao3 tags at all.#ultimately I’m trying to get at that the paralysis about the complexities of situations is genuine and true#but it’s also very much a state of mind that supports the seat of power#so recognise that a lot of it isn’t in our gift to control and move on with what we can and do control
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I know this is just a silly bad quality random screencap of a screencap that I found on facebook lol, BUT it's a succinct enough image to easily describe the concept in a quick/accessible way hopefully :
-
(and of course, feel free to elaborate in tags, etc.! (especially elaborating about other senses as well.. can you "hear" in your mind just as well as you can "see"? taste? etc.) It's an interesting topic to me, as someone who's like a 4.5 at MOST lol. I'm curious what option will be the most common :0c )
#tumblr polls#hrmm... a little poll perhaps.. about a subject I find interesting.. since this image came across my facebook today#still really not feeling that well. no longer shaking violently and such but I still feel weird and weak much more than usual#They did say my markers for like infection or inflammation were elevated but that they werent sure of the cause so hopefully#it's nothing too serious. they did also say a lot of different things can cause that thing to be higher than normal but didn't go into spec#fics of what. maybe some of them are relatively benign or something. I still havent felt much back to normal since#I got really sick that one time though. I feel fine on and off but then little bouts of feeling weird and sick happen. hrmmm#ANYWAY.. looking for small ways to be productive. such as little doodles on evil ipad or editing game videos#or posting polls or cat pictures or some other like not very labor intensive things#I WISH I COULD FOCUS on writing HHRGGhh... I need to finish my game.. it would be so freeing.. a project that's been looming#over my head for like 5 years even though througouht that 5yrs I've probably spent a total of 3 months working on it lo.. ANYWAY#I still partially really cannot beleive that people CAN see stuff in their heads. There's always part of me that's thinking like. well mayb#e everyone DOES see the same exact thing but we just describe/conceptualize it so differently that we think we're talking about#different things when we're really not. But I have been assured by people I've talked to about it that they can GENUINELY really see#stuff in their heads like as vivid as an actual picture in real life or something. And the other senses are neat too. Like for exmaple I#can hear in my head much better than I can see imagery. I still CANNOT hear vividly like as if I were listening to actual music out loud..#but I think it's developed more than my sight. AND interesting how this varies the creative process. a friend I was talking to on the phone#said they write by literally just watching stuff play before them like a movie. where my process is COMPLETELY different. AND that affects#the content/what details we focus on as well as our individual styles of writing have differences that can be traced back to that.. hrmm
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forgot i had some old backlog or whatever..
#witch hat tag#orufrey#the coco is me trying to draw after a week+ of gaming..genuinely my hand was shaky and i have no idea what im doing#i want to go back to copious witch hat very soon but i'm trying - desperately - to channel my post-veilguard malaise into scribbles#that will comfort me...the emotional crash is affecting me... i think i forgot how poorly i understand and can cope in this shitty world#while playing that game...let me go back..to..MY LIGHTHOUSE!!!!!! and do i even want to make fanart? what i want is to go BACK....#The complicated world of the maladaptive cai. im not meant to be here yet😭😭😭#i was going to draw more halloween orufrey i think. “Grr get back you evil VAMPIRE you just want to take my BLOOD..GRR!!! Hehe#“Ohhh i wouldn't do that! That would be mean. I'm sure they sell it at the grocery shop in Karoon. :)#“Oh... ok. But what if you couldn't make it there?” * the girls show up * “HUH?! b-baby vampires and wolves...??#(they decided secretly to dress up as kid versions of orufrey's outfits - obviously riche wanted to be a wolf to be like euini)#(agott's really really proud to be carrying her goblet of blood because it looks like ALCOHOL which is GROWNED UP (actually cranberry juice
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Every time you think, "Oh, I don't have [x condition], I'm basically cured!" that is the devil talking. You aren't cured, you are likely going through periods of your symptoms waning. Don't cease whatever you're doing to help yourself, like medication, for instance, because it's likely you still have the conditions or symptoms, even if you aren't noticing them as frequently or severely.
#disability#this is a callout post about myself#i genuinely thought my GAD was cured because my symtoms had lessened significantly since i've transitioned#turns out my anxiety is just as killer and awful - it's just muted slightly#i am currently laying down with my brain convinced that i'm About To Have a Heart Attack#(and not in the fun demi lovato kind of way)#(that song is a little over a decade old... what the bingle)#anyway please don't do what i do whenever i experience ANY level of symptoms getting better because it will shock you...#...when those symptoms come back and remind you that you Do Indeed have [x condition]#i now know how a wolf girl feels when they say they are Actually Feral because that's how i feel rn 💀#even I'M not immune to the idea that the things i suffer from are things that can Disappear Magically 😭#it's wishful thinking and almost like... imposter syndrome because you're *so* desperate to prove to yourself you're Fine or A Faker#and you become hyperfixated on picking every tiny little waxing and waning of symptoms like you're a fortune teller#and honestly it's really stiffling and it's a lot of work to kill the cop in your head that says you are secretly Not All That Affected...#...that you're either exaggerating to the Extreme or you're just a bored faker who's trying to Get Attention (bad somehow)
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This is the only thing I'm going to say about the election until it's over:
Anyone who did not vote for Harris or who attempted to dissuade people from voting for Harris, you are indirectly responsible for whatever shit Donald Trump does if he gets elected. That blood is primarily on his hands, yes. But it is also on yours. I hope you can live with that because I sure as hell wouldn't be able to.
#'but gaza' trump wants TO OBLITERATE THEM. HE LITERALLY WANTS THERE TO BE NOTHING LEFT OF GAZA AT ALL. WHY DO YOU THINK#I DON'T WANT HIM IN POWER?????#yeah I said I wouldn't election post I lied sorry.#I know most of you don't actually care what happens to american citizens because we're all Violent Hypocrites who should kill ourselves#and somehow every single civilian is responsible for the actions of a military and government that comparatively few of us are actually par#of but FUCKING HELL. You don't care about THE PEOPLE OF GAZA??? Because that's what you're telling me if you're in favor of#doing anything OTHER than the most likely path to get trump out of politics. which is voting for the candidate DIRECTLY OPPOSING HIM.#the thing about america being an empire that needs to die. is that before it dies. it is still affecting the rest of the world.#I can't make you care about me and my loved ones. but I am IMPLORING you to have some fucking compassion for all the people#who are going to be DEEPLY negatively affected elsewhere if trump gets into power.#THEIR HARM. THEIR DEATHS. ARE ON /YOU/ IF YOU DID ANYTHING TO FACILITATE TRUMP'S VICTORY IF THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS.#I don't believe most of you actually have any amount of the sympathy and compassion for others you claim to have.#I don't think any of the causes you throw yourself behind are actually meaningful to you. I don't think any of this is based on a#genuine desire to build a better world. I think you just want your Internet friends to think you are a Good Person.#if I see anyone. ANYONE. acting like a trump presidency is what we 'deserve'. or that it's necessary to 'teach [xyz] a lesson'#I am NEVER speaking to you again I don't care how long I've known you.#us politics#I am a disabled queer woman. almost everybody I love is also disabled and queer. you think we're acceptable collateral damage fine.#but don't cry that I'm being a bitch if I say that that makes me not trust you and not want to have anything to do with you.
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Love how there are four main reasons why Lucifer is as avid a Demonus Connoisseur™ as we know him to be, and how all of them hurt to think about
There's the obvious, of course. All the seraphs go out drinking together. It's a little keepsake to his time as an angel, in a way. So Lucifer sits in his moonlit study down in the Devildom, only the shadows of leaves gently swaying in the wind keeping him company, pouring himself half a horn of the finest Demonus in his collection. All to honor those he once called his brothers and sisters as they fill up each other's cups and bask in the warm sunlight of the Celestial Realm
Ah, but he's not just drinking to mourn days lost to the past! He also has reason to celebrate every once in a while! Any small improvement to his and Satan's relationship is deserving of a generous reward, don't you think? See? That's a perfectly normal reason to treat yourself to a few more horns!
A couple of bottles into his system, and all the things that usually plague his mind seem so distant all of a sudden. It all turns into nothing but hazy fragments, and it's hard to piece it all back together. Although it's not like Lucifer would even want to in the first place, not when it finally makes all the things he craves to forget about slip from his mind. About the sister he failed to save. About the brothers he damned alongside him. And the crushing guilt that accompanies his every waking moment...
And then finally, there's this one glaring issue that everyone always seems to overlook when it comes to Lucifer—"his" Pride. That awful, wretched little sin, everpresent as it dictates his tone of voice, his every gesture, every word he utters, every single little facet of his personality. Lucifer—"Avatar" of Pride and the morning star himself—is nothing but a prisoner of his own mind, a mere puppet for "his" Pride to control
And so, he drinks. Drinks until even the cheapest bottles in his collection are empty. Not that it matters much to him, at least he can finally free himself from the constant pain and heartbreak that is looming over him, even if it's just for a handful of insignificant hours in this sheer endless torture that is his immortal life. After all, he can't drown in his sorrows as long as he keeps the Demonus flowing
By the time only one last bottle is left, Lucifer stares straight into the darkness of his study, his hair completely disheveled and tears cling to his face. He has long since collapsed on the ground as he brings the very last bottle of Demonus to his lips, not stopping until he has gulped down every last drop
Right now, the Avatar of Pride is nothing but a shadow of his former glory. But oh, is there a better escape from drowning in his sorrows than to keep this sweet, sweet Demonus flowing?
#THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ONE SENTENCE LONG HELP WHAT HAPPENED (<- brainrot took over. that's what happened)#i genuinely think pride is the most interesting out of the seven sins simply because the way it affects lucifer is so quiet#but that's a post for another day#ALSO the fourth reason is actually canon so that's cool :)#obey me#obey me shall we date#obey me nightbringer#obey me lucifer#;mel's analyses
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I WANTED HIM TO DRINK IT AND GET CRAZY
#i wanted them all to drink it and get crazy#except ify he doesn’t deserve one anymore#genuinely why is this affecting me so much#is there something wrong with me#something i need to work through in myself or something LMAO cause this actually pissed me off so much#WHY DID HE TAKE THEM ALL#ugh ify you better have some cool moves in the finale to make up for this#never stop blowing up#d20#dimension 20#brennan lee mulligan#jacob wysocki#nsbu spoilers
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Bluepoch gave us the gift of barely-subtext tragic sapphic-centric media do NOT throw that away.
Context regarding PJSK and Undertale under cut.
Project Sekai cast is dominated by female characters but mlm is more popular, meanwhile Undertale has canon wlw rep and oh my god they’re at the bottom. I have nothing against these fandoms or media (I’m literally currently/was in them) but yeah. I just HOPE r99 doesn’t end up in a similar state.
#mochagaming#if r99 ever gets even more popular and people somehow manage to out-yaoi the yuri i may actually buy a gun#‘write more yuri then’ I AM <3 AND LETS KEEP WRITING YURI R99 NATION#this is an irrational fear btw#especially since the fandoms i previously in kept fixating on the men in women-centric media#which is not bad#good for them#but its alienating for me LOL#thankfully rn r99 fandom is still diligent woman appreciators so thanks guys#keep it up#I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST MEN OR MLM#I JUST REALLY NEED THAT SAPPHIC SPOTLIGHT#LET THIS DESPERATE LESBIAN DREAM THAT HER FAV GAME STAYS YURIFUL#(because fandom activity genuinely affects the game itself so…)#reverse 1999#I am not trying to discourage any form of fandom content#But if I see someone complain about ‘lack of men’ in this game I… I genuinely dont know??? what to say???#we dont even have enough lesbian rep. it is always cast aside.#it should be prioritized (by bluepoch) i think#like to charge reblog to cast
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Thinking about the symbolic weight of smoking in the TLT universe that comes to the fore in The Unwanted Guest -- the way it moves through from person to person: Pyrrha smoked, and Augustine wanted to impress her in all her stone cold fox MILF James Bond glory (and tbf who wouldn't) so he started too. and even though as far as he knows she's been gone for a myriad and is never coming back, he keeps the habit. Ianthe sees something in the hollowed-out Faberge eggshell of Augustine that resonates with her, all that gilded eloquent emptiness and disdain through the ages, so she picked it up from him to try to emulate it. She picked it up so hard that Palamedes -- the exact spiritual antithesis of the 'smoking! on a space station! what a powermove' ennui Ianthe so admired -- spontaneously unnerded enough to even known how to, simply from a sort of contact contamination of the soul.
G1deon and Augustine sharing a jittery smoke after their near-Harrow experience during soup night, and it's the closest thing to any real sense of brotherhood that remains between them. Pyrrha going ten thousand years dying both literally and for a smoke (and then Camilla sold her fucking cigarettes (for a third of what they were worth, probably Pyrrha's own good, and also more importantly grocery money). what an entirely haunted time to be alive etc.). Augustine and Mercy trading a cigarette back and forth in the middle of their collusion over the love and murder of god.
An act of small and measured self-destruction in the name of something a little bit like connection when you're stuck somewhere in yourself where love itself dares not or cannot tread (ritualized, transmissible)..........
#the unwanted guest#the unwanted guest spoilers#the locked tomb#ianthe tridentarius#augustine the first#pyrrha dve#palamedes sextus#this series is going to make me lose my mind completely one day (affectionate)#the locked tomb meta#the fact that ianthe seems to have had some genuine admiration for augustine makes my head spin. of course though.#of course she sees the person who looks the most like he's successfully made himself impervious to the world#utterly untouchable and impossible to hurt because he isn't even really there#and she believes it! even after seeing the john mercy augustine mess at the end! because it's such a seductive idea#when you've stuck yourself in an inevitable ocean of pain to think you could make yourself numb enough that it doesn't matter#it's the emotional equivalent of 'oh there's water all around? well I just won't breathe in then. easy lmao get on my level'#she holds on to that thing from him even when it's been proved to be both impossible and ultimately untrue even in him#because uh. oh I'm about to be kind of sad for ianthe what the fuck is going on. he might actually have been the closest thing#to parental and especially paternal affection she's ever known. certainly known enough to try to model herself after#IMAGINE how fucked up the nine houses must be when augustine the first registers for anyone as a model of psychological survival#ianthe do you really want to be yourself completely so much that you're willing to be nothing. I mean yeah probably but. oh my god#gaining nothing at the cost of everything
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