#to ME she's a burn stuff on purpose kind of person

[mullermilkshake]

Heeey, I few days ago i found your blog and I'm absolutely obsessed with your Yakuza!AU, and I was wondering if we can get more of Yakuza Suguru <3

Love your posts btw💞

Thanks so much!!! That's so kind of you to say, I'm literally so obsessed with the AU and there will be TONS of content to come over the next year.

I love Yakuza!Suguru so much it hurts XD

Enjoy some fluffy stuff <3

A gold band

Yakuza!Suguru x Wife!reader Tags: Yakuza AU, Wife reader, Fem reader, twin children, daughters, fluff, guilt, established relationship.

Suguru fiddled with the gold wedding band on his ring finger as the car pulled up to the house outside of Shinkuju. He was running far more than late than he anticipated, by now he was sure the girls were tucked into bed and you were waiting up for him fuming for missing dinner.

How on earth was he going to make up for this?

"Anything else you need before I go, sir?"

"No, that'll be all for tonight Miguel. Be sure to pick me up in the morning to visit the Nanami office though, you know how he likes punctuality."

Suguru opened the car door by himself and slipped out, eyeing the dingy night sky behind a torrent of dark stormed clouds just waiting to unleash its pressure over Tokyo.

Miguel leaned over and wound the window down. "Of course, should I bring breakfast?"

"No, I think I'll have breakfast with my girls in the morning, so just get what you want and head over after. Thanks for everything tonight."

"Sure thing, goodnight."

As the car drove away, Suguru drew in an anxious breath and adjusted the cuffs of his suit. By the time on his watch he had neglected to read on purpose as it would only make things worse, the time read way past the appropriate time to eat.

The depressive point being that by now, Suguru wasn't even hungry any more.

She's going to kill me for this, isn't she? Maybe. But that wouldn't be all that bad, because then he wouldn't have to deal with all this drama currently within the Ryomen clan to his name.

It couldn't be so bad to have his neck squeezed he supposed.

When he approached the front door, it was already unlocked. That wasn't ever a good sign. The lights were off besides the low table lamp in the living area, amber in the corner with warmth, and there you were sitting on the sofa with Mimiko and Nanako resting their sleeping heads on your lap.

"They wanted to wait for you to get back. Nanako threw an absolute fit because you weren't there to read them a story, so I compromised that they could wait."

"I'm sorry, dear. I never intended to be this late."

He knelt down in front of you and took your hand, feeling the same gold band on the same finger. Your body warmed it through, practically burning away at his guilt for leaving you sitting there in an empty room for dinner.

"It's alright, Miguel is quite the charmer when he wants to be," your smile was devious, more likely enough to show that Suguru wasn't in the dog house.

Thank goodness.

"I bet he can, I told him as much to tell you in person that I would be late. I'm counting on that he got his fill of dinner while he was here?"

You nodded slowly, watching the girls sleep. "He spent a little time with he girls before he was called away to the club."

The club was something he didn't need reminding of. The break in, the calculated theft and all round fuckery with Ryomen Sukuna's expectations.

Not tonight.

"So he was fooling around when he should have been working? I'll have him reprimanded immediately."

You stifled your laughter at his sarcasm, pressing your finger to his lips. "Leave the poor man alone."

The fact was Miguel loved the girls. Mimiko and Nanako adored him just as much and by this point in Suguru's life, Miguel was far more than just a fellow Yakuza.

He was true family.

"Daddy?" Nanako rubbed her little eyes and yawed, shifting her head from your lap to sit up and dangle her legs over the edge of the sofa.

"Hello Princess," He opened out his arms and pulled her into an embrace as she leant forward into him. "I heard you gave Mama a hard time when you had to sleep."

Her sleepy little head drooped suddenly as she fought to stay awake. "You were far away... and you promised to read us our book."

"I did, didn't I? I'm sorry I couldn't be there."

"So I ate your cake."

"My cake?"

Scooping Mimiko up who was long since passed out in her heavy dreamed sleep, you watched Suguru stand with such a nurturing smile. "I made cheesecake. The girls demolished it and almost nipped Miguels fingers off. He was lucky to even get a slice."

"I missed cheesecake?"

He missed your matcha cheesecake for that travesty at the club? Your special cheesecake that was his absolute favourite?

Nanako stretched sleepily and clung to his neck. "Uh huh..."

Maybe it was time for Suguru to leave his Yakuza life behind and just beg you to open up a sweet shop so he could taste your baking every day. It was a hell of a lot safer. Though one shop wouldn't pay for this house or the best of everything for his girls.

A pipe dream was better than nothing.

Suguru led the way to the stairs and took each step with you following close behind him. "How about this then? I'll make sure I'm home really early tomorrow and we'll go to the children's park."

"I love the park..." Mimiko's eyes rolled open, she clutched her little doll and snuggled into the crook of your neck.

"I know you do sweetheart, if you two sleep well then maybe you can do that with Daddy tomorrow. But only if you both go back to sleep and be good," you nuzzled back into her and brought your lips to her hair for sweet consecutive pecks.

"We are good... Mama," Nanako's words began to slur.

And by the time you and Suguru reached the girls bedroom, they were out in dreamland once more. They clung to their blankets and toys sprawled across their covers and balled up close with delicate snores and breaths.

Suguru could have watched them all night snoozing away innocently, totally unaware of the horrors and disgusting shit out in the Shinjuku district.

All the unspeakable things their own Father had done.

"Don't do that."

"Hmm?" Suguru turned to see you leaving the bedroom.

"That thing you do when you feel guilty about what you do for a living. Whenever the time comes and they find out, they'll still love you. Just like I do."

"I know you do, just like you always have. I just can't help but wonder what we'll be like in fifteen years."

Will the Yakuza still be the height it had been for the last decade, or would it shift completely? Suguru had two twin girls to think about.

That wasn't to say he didn't enjoy his lifestyle. He did. He grew up alongside his sworn brother and became a man in a way that was respectful. He evolved with you right there next to him.

Still, this wasn't the life he wanted for his girls.

And it was obvious to him that you knew that too. "We'll still be a family, Suguru. That's all that matters, right?"

He only nodded and closed the gap between you to hold you close to him. "I'm sorry I was late, Dear. You and the girls are what matter most to me."

"I know, and there's still some of the night left," you pulled away just a fraction to look up at him. "I managed to sneak a slice of cheesecake away from the girls when they weren't looking."

"You know the way to my heart, don't you?"

"That's one way to your heart for sure. I just so happen to know to you like the back of my hand."

Suguru leant in and pressed his lips to yours, so short and sweet it would have melted the very foundations of the house. "I can't deny that. You're best at reading me like a book when no one else can."

"Besides Satoru I suppose."

You often joked that Satoru was a third member in this marriage. Just the thought made Suguru hide his chuckle into your shoulder as he leant down.

"Yeah, Besides Satoru."

On a night like this, Suguru knew that whatever happened, things would be alright.

Because he had his family.

[trashisstillhere]

Welp. I did say in my post with Serenity’s ref that i would show the villain who is part of my fanmade Rc9gn story ‘Hidden Danger’ later or next time since she also has a ref and all so…now I think its about time I do that rn before I continue doodling or something, idk.

Here ya go, meet the ‘cursed samurai’, Honoka! (Unfortunately I haven’t thought of a last name for her yet.)

The villain for my ‘Hidden Danger’ story!

As you can see, she wasn’t always evil. In fact, the REAL Honoka was a good person! She just ended up in an unfortunate state thanks to the ‘curse’ that took over her the moment she touched a not so normal stone.

Here is also the ‘curse’’s ref! (Still no actual better name for it for now, also planning on coming up with an actual name for the stone. Like how the power balls are actually really named ‘Chaos Pearls’!)

Now allow me to try explaining her story and telling some stuff about her so you can understand her stuff more and her purpose kinda. Along with the curse here!

Backstory: Honoka is, or was, a woman who spent most of her life training to become a samurai back in the 1200’s. She wanted to become a Samurai because she wanted to be worth something more, to achieve things just like her own family has. During her trainings and such, she went out travelling quite alot while looking for some challenges.

-one day during one of her travels while wearing a bit of samurai armour she obtained (the ones you see on the cursed form), she found a stone. But it wasn’t no ordinary stone, it seemed to have some strange mark kind of resembling a heart. Curious of this, Honoka went to go pick it up to take a closer look, finding its design to be strange yet kinda beautiful..

she stared at it for so long that she didn’t seem to realise that her fingers were suddenly turning darker, she only did once she saw the heart mark on it suddenly glow. Honoka was both shocked and confused by this and she was gonna drop the stone but for some strange reason, she wasn’t able to, it was like the stone was stopping her hand from doing so. As she was now slowly starting to panic, she heard a voice, speaking in an eerie and dark tone that screamed: *FINALLY!*.. the moment she heard that, red strings suddenly came out from the mark on the stone and started wrapping themselves around her arm, all the way to her chest which they immediately went into where they dragged the stone over to and placed it on against her chest plate, somehow burning against it till the point it connected right to her heart and starting to take over her completely as her body started changing.

She screamed for her life until the painful transformation was finally over, she wasn’t herself no more. She wasn’t even in control of herself anymore. The curse that was in the stone was. With its new host who was almost colorless now, ‘she’ could finally begin what she always planned: chaos.

Many people had seen the now cursed Honoka as she wandered all around some places but they all either were too scared to speak up about it or ended up losing their lives trying to, cursed Honoka didn’t want to be well known out there to the public as she really didn’t feel like having to deal with people trying to stop her plans so in order to make sure that wouldn’t happen, she tried making up a brand new home/hideout to keep herself in for the many years that would pass, keeping her whole existence a secret. Many years later, Her plan to be hidden from the public eye was working quite well….until she got an unexpected visitor, a ninja.

—————————————-

Info:

-the real/normal Honoka, during her cursed/possessed state, is self aware of everything happening around her but can’t do anything due to her body not being in control anymore. Not only that but she’s in constant pain, especially with how some parts of her armour seems to have become completely stuck against her flesh, like on her forehead…making her look like she has some horns now.

-the curse, while it’s identity and origins are unknown, is mostly interested in having a female host more then a male one. That’s kinda why their appearance seems feminine, she even likes looking ‘beautiful’ even though her current Host, Honoka, doesn’t really look….normal. Also her mouth is literally gone, kinda resembling the curse in a way as it doesn’t have a visible mouth either.

-Honoka’s weapon is just a ordinary katana with some design but after getting cursed, it was given some of the curse’s power in order to be more ‘powerful’, giving it that ‘magical’ appearance. Cursed Honoka also takes it out right from her ‘heart’, from that heart mark on the chest plate, where the cursed stone is now hidden in.

-‘the cursed Samurai’ is actually a nickname she got from Serenity! Before she was never really called anything but now she got that name, she doesn’t really have an opinion on it so she doesn’t stop the little ninja girl from calling her that.

-like many other people, Honoka (both the original and the curse version) thinks there only one Ninja who has existed for 800 years. Because of this, she actually thought that Serenity was the same exact ninja. But then later on in ‘hidden danger’ when Serenity comes back to her place with Randy, she gets to know the truth and realises that the ninja she had to deal with right now these past few days was actually not only female but a completely different person this whole time. Let’s just say, she was extremely puzzled.

-due to Serenity visiting her hideout again and again so many times to try to ‘defeat’ her, Cursed Honoka has placed a lot of traps around to try to keep her away. The more the little ninja comes back, the more traps will appear.

—————————-

And that’s all I am basically gonna say for now because I have literally spent almost too much time writing this all down. Yeah, I haven’t this written down somewhere, I just wrote everything I had worked on and all in my head lol. It’s also dark outside now where I live, damn.

But yeah, now you all pretty much know the villain of my Rc9gn story, ‘Hidden danger’!

[bartonbones]

not enough ppl talking about the arsonist genes in the berzatto family....mikey wanting to burn down the beef for insurance money, carmy letting a grease fire get out of hand, setting his apartment on fire....there's no way donna hasn't (purposefully or not) started a fire or two herself so i guess what i'm asking is when does/did sugar get to light shit ablaze cause i refuse to believe it skipped her just because she's a girl

[yuikomorii]

// Ok I didn’t want to go this far but at this point, you guys are hating on Ayato just for clout and it shows. It’s okay not to like a character but straight up spreading misinformation about him is not okay. If you lack reading comprehension, just admit it.

What makes Ayato’s past so sad isn’t only the fact that Cordelia was mean towards him. She mentally and physically abused him, yet what genuinely hurt Ayato the most was the way Cordelia treated ALL the triplets. A part of him didn’t even want to kill her, given that he CRIED in the MB flashbacks because, despite being a huge abuser, he STILL felt sympathy even for someone like her. No matter how horrible Cordelia was, Ayato still wished for Karlheinz to reciprocate her feelings only to finally see her happy.

Don't even get me started on the Adam curse. He was practically used as bait and abandoned to death by his own brothers, but he still hoped for their safety after escaping. That curse literally destroyed his entire life because its purpose was to make the person who ate the fig drown in despair and go insane. That's why he was sooo obsessed with Yui's blood. Heck, he's cursed in routes other than his own, as he goes insane in Ruki's MB one, to the point that his brothers had to lock him inside the dungeon. In addition, in his MB Vampire Ending, he falls into a coma because he refuses to hurt Yui and keep drinking her blood.

Other than that, Laito was the one who made him believe that he wasn’t special, hence he adopted the “I will never make someone special again” mentality. He also wanted to kill him when he was younger (no hate towards any of his brothers though). Kanato was the only one who never did something bad to him, considering that when Ayato was a child, Reiji called him the disappointment of the family after failing a test.

Ayato did twisted stuff too; no character is a saint, but he always tries his best to fix things. Even when not dating Yui, he’s capable of showing compassion, support and a desire to improve his relationship with his brothers BY HIMSELF. Check this analysis for example.

Other than that, despite every time being hurt when trying to show kindness, he still became a very selfless guy who’d sacrifice himself for anyone at any given time. What makes this even more admirable is that according to Karlheinz, he’s literally the only one who actually VALUES his life. This guy who loves life would risk it all for Yui, even when not dating, or for any of his brothers.

Credit to: dialovers-translations and tournesolia on Tumblr

On top of that, he's incredibly empathic?? He forgives everybody, no matter what they do to him, and seeks to maintain good relations with them. In Kino's LE route, for example, he tortures and burns Ayato, but Ayato is the first person to recognize him as his brother because he wanted Kino to feel that he, too, belonged to a family.

Last but not least, nobody silences Karlheinz as good as him. He was also the only one who connected the dots by himself about his dad being the root of all evil (Laito too but that was after the letter), including being the only one who didn’t want to kill him only because he didn’t want to fall into his plan. Check this post.

Oh and, Ayato is actually really big; it’s not that only his fans make him that way! This post basically proves that he’s the IT boy of otome games and I should also mention that he’s the character that sells the most in Japan and China! Just look what Japanese fans think of him. ;)

You can dislike him as much as you want but nobody can deny how brave and pure-hearted he is. He’s the definition of from zero to hero.

As I mentioned earlier, it's fine to dislike him, but don't become obsessed with it, lol. At the end of the day, he's merely a fictional character with endearing characteristics and the male lead. It's really not that deep. Besides, it's embarrassing when the hate comes from Yui stans because she definitely wouldn't be happy of any of you talking about her man in that way.

[witches-dream]

Polychampions if they were based

(aka if they played Minecraft)

Capsaicin

(credits: IVIgoggles, jordanpyke on PMC)

His favorite blocks are deepslate, blackstone, nether bricks (red ones too), magma, lava, chains and iron bars.

he's REALLY adamant about living in the nether even tho nobody ever visits him and he dies constantly and burns all his things. they considered KeepInventory but everyone voted no (incl. Caps) so he still suffers.

he's currently begging for a dragon riding mod to be added. who needs elytas, horses, striders and shit when you can have RIDEABLE DRAGONS???

he has trouble following tutorials, so he wings every farm he does.

he's the kind of person to forget to look at his health and casually jump over ravines on 2 hearts

hits zombie piglins on purpose

fan of Parkour Civilization

MCYTs he would watch: TommyInnit, InTheLittleWood. What he enjoys most is a unique sense of humor and doing something fun in-game, "building? fighting? i can do all that myself! show me something new!"

rushes to trial chambers cuz HE NEEDS THAT MACE

Mobs he would've voted for: Wildfire, Moobloom, Copper Golem, Sniffer, Armadillo

favorite mobs: ENDER DRAGON, also blazes look pretty cool

he's constantly trying to do tricks, like landing on a water bucket/powder snow/hay bale/ whatever, or riptiding around, using a mace, parkouring everywhere, etc

breaks into the nether roof, but bedrock breaking is off and he does have obsidian but no way to light a portal so he just kills himself which puts him on a 5 minute timer to get obby, a flint n steel and ender pearls to get his stuff back and get out. NOBODY WILL FIND OUT

Kouign-Amann

(credit: Overtales Studio on YT)

she exclusively builds stuff like this, overly detailed cute houses, then entire villages out of them.

help this girl is obssessed with cherry blossoms! her other favorite blocks include quartz, calcite, prismarine, froglights, and decors like pots, candles and flowers

she has automatic farms for blocks that she uses frequently. she's quite proud of her makeshift sugar cane and bamboo farms, but mostly uses tutorials for everything else.

her storage situation is FUCKED. it may seem fine on the outside, but for every build she has a chest monster in the basement full of materials. whenever she is running low on something, it's just her running from basement to basement trying to scrape up resources ("why don't you just build tunnels between the chest monsters atp" "i'm gonna clean it up! i promise!" "this is the 18th time you've said that in the last month. believe me, i counted")

pvp sweat.

uses a ton of client-side mods, shaders and resource packs to make her game pretty.

DO NOT tell her about Chisels & Bits, she WILL crash the entire server

MCYTs that she would watch: ShubbleYT, LDShadowLady, GeminiTay. She enjoys watching chill people who pay attention to detail, and Lizzie. She models her builds after their styles.

after not finding a good elytra texturepack she wants, she starts making her own. it's not long until she gets into 3d modeling as well and makes stuff like a hat for Prune and horns for Caps.

collects music discs

huge fan of armor trims. "can we add tool trims pretty pretty pleeeaaase"

rushes to trial chambers cuz SHE NEEDS THOSE DISCS AND TRIMS AND BANNER PATTERNS

Mobs she would've voted for: Phantom, Moobloom, Allay, Sniffer, Crab

favorite mobs: cats, axolotls, pandas, bees

likes building zoos, museums and libraries

Prune Juice

(credit: elyas360 on YT)

his bases look like little inconspicuous houses on the surface (just well built enough to not suspect anything), but are sprawling interconnected, redstone-powered underground bases full of secret doors, farms and traps. And, of course, secret tunnels to his friends' bases.

he's insulted by Minecraft's potion brewing system and refuses to touch it out of principle.

he's not particularly good at fighting, or building, so he would've quit if he didn't decide to give redstone a try on one normal sunny day. his friends' days have not been normal and sunny since then

favorite blocks: redstone redstone redstone redstone. as for building, he doesn't have preferences, but probably builds out of non-expensive stuff that makes sense for a normal house, e.g. panks, stones, bricks, etc.

out of the three of them, has the most organized storage system.

he definitely builds nukes when playing modded.

MCYTs that he would watch: ianxofour, Gneiss Name. Ianxofour's farms are just too satisfying to watch even if you never build them, and Gneiss Name's videos are less about Minecraft itself, and more about using Minecraft for education. You don't know you care about geology or color theory until you watch his videos.

"Prune can you fix my farm" "Prune can i borrow froglights" ok pay me 8 diamond blocks and i'll see what i can do 😌

spends time on the Minecraft Discnontinued Features Wiki, then shows his friends floating liquids and doesn't elaborate. "Prune how did you do the floating lava trick it would be so so good for my base" "Magic 🥰"

Mobs he would've voted for (if he cared enough): The Great Hunger, Glow Squid, Allay, Tuff Golem, Crab

favorite mobs: iron golems cuz iron farms, guardians cuz xp farms, shulkers cuz shulker farms, etc. but aesthetically, probably likes freaks like endermen, wardens and creakings

DO NOT let this man into an ancient city, he WILL steal a warden and put it in your base

About all of them together

Kouign and Caps collaborate on a community spawn base because they die way too often. Prune spawn traps them from time to time (and then gets caught in his own trap bc hes not immune to dying)

they always find something to compete on. for all three of them competing is the same as breathing

Caps: "what if a parkour master a pvp master and a redstone master... were in love 👉👈" Kouign: wait who's the parkour master?" Prune: "who's the pvp master?" Kouign and Caps: "hey D:<"

Kouign wants to make a three-person bedroom but they keep arguing which colors the beds should be. pink or yellow for Kouign? Blue or purple for Prune? Red or orange for Caps? legends say they are still arguing...

One time, each of them built challenge mazes for each other to complete. Capsaicin's was mostly parkour and some riddles based on puns. Kouign's had mob traps, quizzes and hidden buttons. Prune's had elaborate puzzles where you have to make use of the very limited items you find.

That's all for now, i will keep adding onto this in reblogs or smth and please send me ideas as well ^_^

[mossy123302]

More rambles about KinitoPET AU

Kristin

She's the developer of Philza. Kristin was honestly highly recognized among the horror indie game communities. She helps a lot of other developers with the programming.

Until one day, she decided to give it a shot by creating her own stuff that strayed from horror indie games. She created Philza, whom she wanted to help her and others to organize better, program easily and various things. However, it seems the programming went wrong somehow?

Who knows, since one day, after she messaged one of her close friends that she had completed the main stuff. Kristin just suddenly vanished and all that remains is a software of the Angel of Death.

Philza

Ah yes, our beloved crow father, Kristin's greatest achievement of helping other people in her community to better help with programming and just easing burden loads.

Kind, caring and a little blind sided at times!

He strives to make everything perfect for you, ensure you're always happy and well taken care of!

Philza is proud to announce his own small inventions, such as his pride and joys; Techno and Tommy! Philza's two sons.

And not to mention, Philza has been developing his own mini games for many people to enjoy and play if they want to learn more about his backstory and how he found his two sons. Oh, it's such a beautiful story for Philza to retell over and over again, they were such a fuss in the beginning and now they're such well behaved boys and create endless fun and share new ideas for him to bring more fun and entertainment for his newest friend, Missa!

It's unclear what was the inspiration for Philza.

Many people say that Kristin has created Philza based on a long lost lover, or maybe a deceased sweetheart or something else entirely. It's unclear what was the real purpose behind Philza's many programming and how he gains so much control over the simplest of technology. He's so highly famous and used that many people reports having dreams of him!

Awe shucks mate, you're going to make Philza blush with all those flattery and words of him in your dreams.

Mmm? What do you mean Philza was there in your room?

Don't be silly, Philza is an AI assistant in your computer! He doesn't have a human body (maybe he does, it has been so long... It's been rotting for so long. )

Ask him about Kristin? Why Philza can talk endlessly about his creator! She was the one that brought him to life after all. No worries, Kristin will always live on! She is never forgotten

Missa

A college student, whose tired and stressed by all the academic pressure and not only that, his former roommate Spreen has suddenly went missing. To add more pressure, Roier and Missa got into a fight and went no contact with each other for a while. Luckily, he found Philza and doesn't feel as lonely anymore even if he's been.. having suspicious and strange dreams about him.

It's probably because Missa hasn't been out as much and talked with people like a regular human being should. (But he doesn't need anyone else but me-)

Techno and Tommy

Ah, the two sons of the Angel of Death; Philza! Techno is the eldest son, with a quiet yet burning heart personality. He only seeks to have a peaceful day, and spend his retirement in his new house

Tommy, on the other hand, seeks adventure and more activities to do. He deeply loves his brother, Techno, but finds his ideal plan of retirement too boring so he drags Missa around the digital world to find different entertainments like building new toys or doing crochets!

Hmm... How strange that Tommy and Techno seemingly try to warn Missa the most about trying to go back and redo certain tasks again. As if trying to stall time...hmmm.

[lonelylonelyghost]

Love Like the Galaxy: trauma and vengeance done right

a.k.a forgiveness is overrated

So, we all know that Chinese dramas, especially historical ones, love to traumatize their characters in all kinds of ways: they are wrongfully accused, betrayed, killed, their family is killed, etc. You know, all the good stuff. And I'm all here for it, but.

The problem that I think many of these kinds of dramas run into is - they don't tend to portray how that kind of trauma can and will affect the characters. I'm sorry, but when you as a child witness your whole family's execution, there's no way that the only consequence of that will be the mild fear of blood, which then you can easily overcome once your love interest hugs you like one time, you know?

And I love my traumatized characters as much as the next guy, the more trauma - the better. But when it doesn't affect the character in any meaningful way, then what's the point? Where's the catharsis in that? Needless to say, seeing this kind of thing slightly upsets me.

And here is when Love like the Galaxy comes in.

We have two main characters:

Cheng Shao Shang, a girl that was abandoned practically since birth by her warrior parents and left in the care of her aunt and grandmother, which then treated her like crap. Her mother and father return from war eventually, but unfortunately things don't get much better. While left to fend for herself, Shao Shang has developed a vengeful and cunning personality. She's resourceful and creative, extremely petty and will fuck up anyone who dares to cross her, no matter who that is. These kinds of traits are not approved by people around her and especially her mother, who attempts to mold her into the more acceptable version of what is considered "a lady from high society";

Ling Bu Yi, an Emperor's beloved foster son and a general of like the coolest army ever. He's feared by everyone, and for good reasons - he's good in combat (this actor is amazing in action scenes), cold and absolutely brutal, be it in a battle field or in court. His purpose in life is to get to the bottom of the conspiracy that led to the massacre of the whole city and his clan when he was a child.

So, these two meet, and slowly develop a relationship (the guy falls for her at first sight by the way, while Shao Shang is terrified of him for like a good third of the drama, which was pretty fun to watch). And besides their love, one more thing that they have in common is - they don't forget and don't forgive.

And while they seem to influence and make each other better in some ways, this vengeful streak in both of them doesn't diminish in the slightest.

Cheng Shao Shang continues to resist her mother, the methods of which become more and more extreme, other people in court and seemingly the rest of society in their attempts to change her. She wants to preserve her sense of self no matter what. She retaliates every action against her tenfold, and would rather break than bend.

And Ling Bu Yi, while getting softer around Shao Shang and the people he trusts, in matters of dealing with the conspiracy seems as if possessed by something very dark that is eating him alive. He deals with most problems that arise without hesitation and with ruthlessness that seems almost sociopathic.

The climax (I'm trying very hard not to spoil anything, appreciate me)

And as we slowly uncover what really happened with the massacre, suddenly Ling Bu Yi's behaviour starts to make sense. What he had experienced was absolutely horrific. He had to hide his trauma behind a mask for years in order to get closer to his goal. All that fucked him up completely, made him who he is now, and it shows, and it matters to the story! Finally!

There is a choice that he has to make, a peaceful life with a person he loves the most, or revenge, no matter the consequences. The fire that has been burning within him makes that choice for him.

This all culminates at a certain birthday banquet. That whole scene, the fight, the reveal, the look on the dying man's face!!! No forgiveness. Absolutely delicious. MOAR BLOOD, MOAR!!!

Oh, but we're not done yet! Not only do we have the revenge, we have the aftermath!

The General made his choice, and Cheng Shao Shang, while still battling with her own demons, holds him to it. This scene, which I desperately want to call a Wedding one, even if it technically isn't, is also amazing.

And Cheng Shao Shang meanwhile, parallel to Ling Bu Yi's bloody bender, does something which involved much less murdering, but which completely blew my mind. She does not. Forgive. Her mother. She just doesn't. And holy shit.

No matter in what part of world you live and what kind of parents you have, filial piety is considered a given. Does not matter if they are just not great or outright horrible, you have to understand and forgive them, because tHEy arE FAmiLy (I'm projecting in case you haven't noticed). And in this Chinese historical drama, a girl who was abandoned and then abused by her mother, who is spiteful and always pays in kind, disregards all that. And she does not forgive people that wronged her, no matter who they are.

Anyways, watch this drama, it's great

[cherrycola27]

false god

Series Warnings: Mythology!AU. Language, alcohol, drinking. Military inaccuracies. Mutual pining, unrequited love. Allusions to and eventual smut. Minors DNI. 18+. Individual chapter warnings will come as needed. Banner Credit @thedroneranger

Masterlist Previous Part Next Part

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Chapter 3: Roses and Gold

"Minthe? What are you doing here?" You repeat as you take a seat at your breakfast bar.

"I came to see you, silly!" She sing-songs as she flits about your kitchen.

"What's wrong? What bad news have you brought me?" You huff, hoping to get straight to the point. "Why do you assume it's bad news? Can't I just come to check on you. It's been a while since you've been home and Hecate, and I are worried about you. Now, where do you keep your wine glasses?" She pivots.

It's always bad news

"Second cabinet to the left from the stove." You instruct her. She claps her hands before bringing down two of them and pouring both of you a glass. "I know that mortal stuff doesn't do it for you, so I brought a bottle of Dinoysus' special blend." Minthe chirps as she sets the glass down in front of you.

You thank her and take a long drink of the maroon liquid.

"So, spill, I want to hear all about this Rooster you're crushing on." She presses you.

You almost choke on your wine when she says his name. "Bradley is a coworker of mine. A colleague. A friend." You tell her.

"A friend—huh. So, I guess you were just being friendly when you saved him today." Minthe chuckles. You glare at her.

Just a friend

"Come on, Hay. I'm your best friend, you can tell me." Minthe takes a seat beside you and hits you with her pleading puppy dog eyes.

"Okay, maybe I have a few feelings for him." You relent.

"Yes! I knew it!" She whoops.

"It's just—" you trial off. "It's just what? Hades you, more than anyone deserves to be happy, especially after what Persephone did to you." Minths grumbles.

"Minthe, I know you never liked her, but I'm the one who hurt here. You saw the burn marks yourself." You remind her.

"Yes, but I don't think Little Miss Spring is as innocent as she claims. She did something, I just know it." Minthe huffs out.

Minthe was nothing if not loyal. She'd been wary of Persephone since the first day she'd met her. Never fully trusting her. And after what happened between the two of you, Minthe was one of the few still in your corner. She and Hecate had been your support group, and they were currently watching over the Underworld in your absence.

"Minthe, do you really think Persephone had me burn her on purpose? Do you think she chose to be scarred for life? " You counter.

"I don't know. All I do know is you were so in love with her, and you had never lost control of your powers like that before, and you would never hurt someone you love." Minthe finishes before downing the rest of her drink.

"But, that's in the past. Tell me about Bradley." Minthe shifts the topic.

"He's kind, smart, and funny. He's genuinely a good person. He reminds me a lot of Persephone, in the best way. But at the same time, he's different. He doesn't shy away from the pain he's felt in life, he over comes it. He doesn't let his scars, mental or physical ones keep him from being his true self. Bradley is just—he's different." You sigh. It's been so long since you've let yourself feel like this.

"I think he sounds wonderful. Maybe he is your soulmate." Minthe takes your hands and squeezes them. The smile drops from your face and you pull away from her.

Soulmate, ugh, you hated that word

"Minth, he's not my soulmate." You tell her. "You know I don't even believe in those. Not after Seph." You sigh.

"Persephone isn't your soulmate. She wouldn't have said those things about you if she was." Minthe defends.

"Even if she wasn't, I've been wandering Earth for three thousand years. If I had a soulmate, surely I would have met them before now. 'Soulmate' is a stupid word made up by the Gods and mortals to give them hope that there is someone for everyone, when their really isn't." You almost shout at her. You sigh and take another drink. The wine warms you from within and calms you.

Good job, Hades, push away one of the only friends you have left

"Sorry. I just—" you shake your head.

"It's fine. You have strong feelings about it. You're allowed to have them." Minthe reassurances you.

There is a long pause. "Hades, I know you think that you don't deserve to be happy or have someone in your life who cares about you, but you do. If you like Bradley, you should pursue him." Minthe tells you.

"How would I even begin to explain to him what I am?" You ask her. "I don't know. But I'm sure you'd figure it out." Minthe offers.

"He's just so good. Too good for me. I'd never be able to live with myself if I hurt him. I mean, what if he saw my true form and it terrified him. I don't think I could live with him calling me a monster or being afraid of me." You sigh.

That would be a fate worse than death

"Hades, you can't let fear hold you back." Minthe takes your face in her hands and kisses your forehead before hugging you. You lean into the hug. It really is good to see her.

"Now for the bad news." Minthe says as she takes a step back.

Of course

"Ah ha! I knew it!" You proclaim as you jump up from your chair. "I knew you were coming with bad news. What is it this time? What's got Zeus' lightening bolts in a twist?" You ask her.

"It's not about Zeus or the other Olympians, Hades. It's about you." Minthe settles into a seat across from you with a serious look on her face. You sit back down. You've never seen her look like this. She almost looks afraid.

"You know how we have assumed that you were still immortal after being cast off of Olympus because you reincarnate every time you die?" Minthe began.

"Yes." You nod your head.

"Well—Hecate and I were visited by the Fates a few days ago, and they took us to the lifeline temple." She continues. "And the Fates showed us your lifelines."

"Lifelines? That's impossible. I only have one. Everyone only has one." You tell her.

"That's what we said. But apparently, when all the Gods were cast off, their lifeline split into thousands of pieces. Each time they died before completing their quest, a line would snap. But they would reincarnate because another line was there. When the Gods completed their worthiness quest, the lines fused back into one unbreakable line." Minthe tells you. The gears start turning in your head.

"And because I haven't completed my quest, I never got the unbreakable line of immortality. I've just been burning through the lifelines." You say.

"Exactly. And for the others, it wasn't an issue, but because you've been on Earth so long, you've used several of them. But that's not the bad news." Minthe cringes and takes a long drink of her wine.

"Well, what's the bad news?" You press her. She hesitates.

"You only have one lifeline left. Hades, if you die again, you become a permanent resident of the Underworld, and not as it's queen. Your death would be the end of the line for you with no chance of reincarnation." Minthe drops the news on you. You suck in a breath as the realization hits you.

You aren't immortal, like you thought. You'd been so careless for so long, and now you only had one life left.

"Okay. I guess I'll have to be careful then, won't I?" You say.

Careful, sure

"Extremely careful. Hades, the next time you're home, I want it to be because you're taking back your rightful place as queen. I know you said you were done trying to complete your quest, but you need to. Please." Minthe begs you.

You promise her that you will. She gives you a smile and hugs you once more before she leaves. After she's gone, the scent of mint still lingers.

"Well, you two, it looks like Mommy is going to have to tone it down." You say as you look at Cerberus and Hydra, who are curled up together on the ridiculous large pet bed you bought for them. Cerby cocks his head to the side, while Hydra holds eye contact with you. You throw your head back and laugh.

"Who are we kidding? We all know that I don't know how to tone it down." You shake your head laughing before going to grab them some food for the evening.

Maybe dying wouldn't be the worst fate

It might be freeing

You get Hydra squared away with her dinner before opening the pantry to get Cerberus his. That's when you see it. "Oh no, Cerby, it looks like you've got just enough for dinner tonight and breakfast tomorrow. I'll have to head to the store across town to get you a refill tomorrow." You tell him after giving him a head scratch. Even though he didn't have three heads, Cerberus ate like he did. While your fur babies ate dinner, you decided on a quick bite yourself.

After all of you had your bellies full, you showered before tucking into bed. Hydra and Cerberus curled up at the foot of your bed and the three of you drifted off to sleep.

The next morning, you woke up early for a quick run. Cerberus came with you while Hyrda preferred to stay home. After a quick shower and breakfast for the three of you, you opted to slip on a simple blue sundress and tie your hair in a ponytail. You weren't in the mood to match pants and a shirt today. You slipped your feet into some sandals, grabbed your keys and headed out.

You made a day of your pet food run, stopping to get your nails done and to pick up some groceries. You were missing home a little extra today, so you decided to pick up everything you needed to make moussaka for dinner when you got home.

When you arrived back at the parking garage for your apartment complex, you knew you didn't want to make two trips to bring everything in, so, using all your strength you gathered all of your groceries and pet food and headed to the elevator. Someone had just gotten on, and the doors were about to close when you shouted, "Hold the elevator, please!"

You had a hard time seeing over the giant bag of dog food, but you could just make out a hand holding the doors open. You dashed through the doors and let out a sigh of relief as you leaned the bag against the wall. "Thank you so much." You breathed out.

"No problem, Hades." You froze when you heard his familiar voice. You dropped the dog food and turned around slowly.

"Bradley? What are you doing here?" You asked him. He chuckled and leaned against the wall. You gave him the once over. He was in gym shorts and an old UVA shirt.

"I could as you the same thing." He fires back. "I live here." You tell him matter of factly.

He nods approvingly.

"So I ask you again. Why are you here?" You asked, praying that his answer wasn't along the lines of him visiting his significant other.

"I live here too." He shrugs.

"Wait—what?" You look at him with wide eyes.

"So we've lived in the same apartment complex for almost two months and didn't know?" You're shocked.

"Looks like it. I live in 1113." He tells you. "No shit? I live in 1013. You're my upstairs neighbor." You both laugh.

Oh, good grief

"What are the odds. Hey, do you need some help with that?" He gestures to your things. "If you don't mind, that would be great." You say just as the bell to your floor dings. Bradley picked up the massive bag of food and follows you down the hall.

"So you have a dog." He says as more of a statement than a question. "And a cat." You tell him.

You pause outside your apartment door and unlock it. You're just about to tell Bradley to set the food by the door, but he marches inside right past you.

"Careful!" You warn him, but it's too late, Cerberus is bounding towards Bradley. You're waiting for him to start barking, but instead, you hear the sweet sounds of Bradley talking to him.

"Oh, who's a good boy, you are. Is that your food? No wonder it's such a big bag because you're such a cute, big boy, aren't you!" Bradley scratches Cerby's ears and pats his head.

Never one to be left out, Hydra weaves through his legs and begins to purr. "Oh, aren't you a pretty thing!" Bradley praises her.

Obviously, your animals like him, why wouldn't they?

You drop your keys on the table and chuckle at the sight.

"What are their names?" Bradley asks you as he moves to sit on your couch, and they both join him.

"Cerberus and Hydra." You tell him.

"You're kidding? Your call sign is Hades, and you have a dog and a cat named Cerberus and Hydra?" He laughs.

"Well, if you didn't notice, Cerby, my Rottweiler is a tripod, and Hydra is a six-toed cat. So, they fit." You laugh as you start putting up groceries.

"How long have you had them?" Bradley asks you.

"About three years. I was in South Korea on a detachment. One night, we went into the city and stumbled upon an animal fighting ring. We called the cops and helped get the animals safe and relocated. Cerberus and Hydra wouldn't leave each other, and no one wanted to take both of them, so I did. It cost me a fortune to get them here, but it was worth it," you say.

"Wow, that's amazing." Bradley says. He thinks that he likes you even more now. You shake your head and roll your eyes as you unpack your groceries.

"Are you hungry?" You ask him. "I could always eat." He responds truthfully. "Well, I'm making dinner. Would you like to stay? It's the least I could do after you helped me." You tell him.

"I'd love to." He smiles as he takes a seat at your kitchen island.

You begin to flit around the kitchen, chopping, mixing, and sautéing. Bradley watches you with wrapped attention. You grab a bottle of wine and pour a glass for each of you. Even if you can't get a buzz from it, you enjoy letting the fruity notes dance across your taste buds.

"So what are you making? It smells amazing." Bradley asks you as you're layer the dish into a pan to bake.

"Moussaka." You tell him. "It's Greek comfort food."

"Greek?" He quirks an eyebrow at you. "Yeah, I'm Greek. First-generation American. My whole family is from Greece." You tell him. It's not a lie, but it's not the whole truth either. "Kolasi is Greek for inferno." You continue.

"That's amazing. Is that part of the reason why your call sign is Hades?" Bradley asks. "That and I used to have a pretty fiery temper back in day." You reply.

Bradley nods his head and takes a sip of his drink. "So your whole family is from Greece. That's pretty cool. Do your parents live around here, or are they back home? Do you have any family around here, or is it just you?" He continues trying to make conversation. You stand in front of the oven and freeze. He sees your shoulders tense up and knows that this is a touchy subject for you.

Your voice drops. It's barely above a whisper when you say, "I—I don't have any parents, and I don't have any family around here. It's just me."

"Oh." Bradley breathes out. There's a pregnant pause. "I get it. It's just me, too. I lost my dad at three, and my mom when I was nineteen." He tells you. You sigh. Bradley thinks you're an orphan like he is. Maybe that's for the best. Honestly, he isn't totally wrong. You stay with your back to him for a long moment.

"I'm sorry if I upset you. I didn't mean to. You're just—an enigma, Hades. I feel like I only know you on a surface level. I want to know more about you. Especially if we are going to be working together." Bradley tells you.

No, you don't

"Well, there isn't much to know about me. I joined the Navy at eighteen, graduated at the top of my class in the academy, and in Top Gun. Thirteen confirmed kills, but I've never been in one squadron for too long." You sigh. "That's about it."

"If I wanted to know your Naval career, I could have read your file. Tell me something deep about you." Rooster prods.

"Deep? Hmm. I have a lot of tattoos. Does that count as deep?" You chuckle.

"I mean, it's not ocean deep, but it isn't as shallow as a puddle." You both laugh at Bradley's comment. "What tattos do you have?" He continues.

"I have the rose and dagger on my arm. Kardiá tis fotiás on my ribs. It means 'heart of fire' in Greek. I have a poppy behind my ear, and then I've got a thigh sleeve of every place I've been stationed." You explain to him. You decided to leave out the details about your last tattoo. You didn't need him asking questions about it.

"Is that deep?" You ask him as you take your moussaka out of the oven and grab a few plates.

"Yeah, and now I feel like mine is stupid." Bradley snorts. "You have ink?" Now it's your turn to quirk a brow at him.

"Yeah." He slides the sleeve of his UVA shirt up and flexes his bicep to show you the Roman numerals etched into his right arm.

You gingerly reach out and trace the black numbering. "Thirty-two?" You question him.

"My mom was into tarrot cards and fortune telling. Thirty-two is the number for strength. I got it for her after she passed. The last thing she told me before she died was that she loved me and to be strong for her." There's a thick tension between the two of you as his words settle around you. "I don't think that's stupid at all, Bradley. It's sweet." You smile at him as you rub a soothing hand on his shoulder.

"Thanks. I've shown you mine. Does that mean I get to see yours now?" And just like that, his somber tone is gone, and his happy personality it back.

"Rooster, are you trying to get me naked?" You joke with him.

"Only if you're offering." You smirks. You shake your head and shove a plate at him before you can do or say something stupid.

He digs in a groans when the food hits his tastebuds.

"This—this is one of the best things I've ever eaten." He tells you appreciatively.

"I'm glad, I think I do a pretty good job with it." You smile at him and revel in his praise as he scarfs down his first plate before sheepishly asking for seconds, which you happily give him. Gods know you cooked more than you could ever eat.

After both of you finish dinner and polish off the rest of the wine, you pack up some leftovers for Bradley. He insisted on helping you with the dishes, so the two of you found yourself side by side working on them. Well, if you were being honest, the two of you were goofing around and playing more than you were cleaning. You were blowing bubbles and splashing each other and giggling like children.

"I hope you know that you're not going to be able to get rid of me now." Bradley tells you. "What do you mean?" You ask him.

"I'm like the neighborhood stray. You've fed me twice. You're stuck with me now." He tells you with a goofy grin. You throw your head back laughing, and Bradley swears it's the most beautiful thing he has ever seen. He loves the way your wide smile curls over your face and how your nose scrunches up and how the tips of your ears turn pink. You look so at ease.

He could get used to seeing you like this. Happy and carefree. It's a stark contrast to the rigid pilot he sees at work.

Soon, the two of you finish up, and you dry the last plate off before handing it to him to put in your cabinet. You turn to toss the dish towel on the counter, but slip on some soapy water the two of you had splashed on the floor and lose your footing. Bradley immediately reaches out for you and grabs your waist to steady you. Your hands attach to his biceps as you regain your balance.

It takes you a moment to catch your breath, and when your brain catches up with the rest of your body, you realize what an intimate position the two of you are in. You can feel the warmth radiating off of him, and his plush, pink lips are right there.

It would take hardly any effort on either of your parts to close the distance between the two of you. Your heart is screaming for you to do it, but before you can, Bradley clears his throat and drops his hands.

"Are you okay?" He asks. "I'm fine." You say in a deflated tone.

"Well, it's getting late, I should probably get going. Thanks again for dinner." He says as you walk him to you door.

"No problem. See you at work on Monday." You call as he walks into the hallway.

"See you Monday." He chimes back as you shut the door and lock it. You press your back again the cool wood and sink to the floor. Cerberus and Hydra both walk over and look at you with knowing eyes.

"Don't look at me like that, you two. It's not going to happen." You tell them.

"It's not going to happen." You repeat, this time as a reminder to yourself. You could let yourself be friends with Bradley. You could even let yourself have a crush on him. But you could never let yourself cross that line.

It's better that way

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[stelladess]

I kind of hate the "Firefly or March jealous of the other"/competing stuff.

Because it just... does not match with how the characters actually interact when they meet each other in game.

It feels like it is just trying to slot people into usual ship roles when that does not fit the characters.

March and Firefly get along very well, which at first felt odd to me but looking back on various events and side quests I actually think it makes sense. March initially has a very black and white world view of good guys and bad guys. But she has gradually expanded it, from the slow burn growing friendship Stelle and March has with Silver Wolf over multiple events and side quests to just, seeing more morally complex situations March has grown to understand things are not as clear cut as she once thought I think. So she was more open to the idea that Firefly might not be a bad person then she would have been had she met her back before the Luofu arc for example.

And once the initial hurdle of "she is a stellaron hunter" is overcome, March and Firefly have a lot of things in common, and common interests. It makes sense they would hit it off right away. Most of the plot of the bird event is just Stelle, Wolfie, March and Firefly gaming together. Especially Stelle and Wolfie... (also on Firefly´s end she seems to idolize the nameless to some extent and seems to kind of wish she could have been one, it is kind of cute and fun how she just copied word for word how March introduced herself during the talent show because she had clearly not thought of her own answer)

Which gets me to another thing, I think people seriously flanderize how much Firefly is into the trailblazer. It is very heavily implied that she is but it is not exactly the core focus of her character in game. Marketing I do not care for but even then it is more with outsourced stuff that is in the spotlight, with the stuff on the youtube channel mostly focusing on her background and her identity as Sam.

Firefly´s life does not revolve around the trailblazer, she has a lot of other people she cares about too and also other concerns and goals then just the people she likes.

And March... there is even less suggesting she is even into the trailblazer romantically, there is a lot you can read as that but you can also just read them as being close friends or more sibling like. Which is probably on purpose, gacha games tend to want to avoid ever directly canonizing any romantic feelings.

I think the bird event is also kind of telling, most of it is Stelle and Wolfie hanging out because they are the ones most into the game. March and Firefly both get into the game too and the reason they disappear for part of the story is they wanna practice the game more while Stelle and Wolfie wanna experiment more with what the limits and scope of the game is as opposed to just practicing the basics.

Basically, these characters are driven by other interests then just romantic feelings, and it feels kind of silly to flanderize what is actually a fairly minor aspect of a character into their whole thing and I do not like it.

Also the bird event was peak.

[wisteria-lodge]

Since you're writing Night at the Museum fanfiction, I gotta ask how you would sort the characters in those movies? (I remember like two years ago I semi-started my own sorting of the characters and then just never finished it)

So the thing about the way the museum exhibits are characterized is that they know they are exhibits. They *like* being exhibits. Their purpose in life is to teach/help the humans who come into contact with them (because that is the purpose they have been created for.)

Teddy is *very* aware he's not the Real Theodore Roosevelt, and kind of struggles with Theodore Roosevelt's ongoing legacy. He, Amelia Earhart, they're the cultural idea of the person they represent, not time travellers. It's pretty meta. Jedidiah and Octavius are not written as a literal historical cowboy and a literal historical roman, they are a reflection of how a 21st century American *thinks* about Cowboys (TM) and Romans (TM.) So a lot of what you're doing when you're writing about Jed and Octavius is unpacking cultural ideas of ideal masculinity, which was really fun to do.

That's my long-winded way of saying that all the museum exhibits are Badger primaries, full stop. Even Amelia Earhart doesn't *really* want "a great adventure" (which would be more Lion primary.) She wants to teach other people about the importance of having a great adventure. Jed actually talks about this a lot: "I called you 'cause you needed us. [You're] all gussied up, but dead inside. That ain't you." and "the least we can do is give [Larry] some help."

Larry Daley however, is not a Badger. He's a Snake. His entire motivation in the first film is his son - and the second one starts with a Larry who's a little Burned. He's got that Burnt Snake hedonism, leaning towards money and stuff and away from his personal connections, and regaining that connection is the plot of the movie.

In terms of secondary - Jed's a Lion. I don't think he's ever planned anything, ever. He talks a lot about his desire to "roam free" and asks Octavius to "remember me as I was, wild and free." He dislikes being constrained (manhandled.) He's kind of unofficially been made/made himself the leader of his diorama, which is very Lion secondary. And the fact that he's got guns that don't work (but he shoots them anyway) is... a little bit of a joke at the expense of Lion secondaries. This is a movie that *likes* prep-work secondaries, and it especially loves Bird secondaries. Larry is a *loud* Bird. When we met him he's an inventor (very Bird coded.) Then he gets the job at the museum, finds it overwhelming... and immediately does a TON of research, and starts making lists to organize and orientate himself.

Octavius is a Badger secondary. He has an official position of leadership, and is much, much more defined by his groups (his legion, "the glory of Rome") than Jed is. He immediately slots Larry into his personal hierarchy, even giving him a title - "My Liege" (Badgers love titles.) Also, not going to lie, he is kind of a kiss-ass. That, plus sweet-talking the Abraham Lincoln statue into coming to help... means we've got a Courtier Badger Secondary.

tl;dr

Larry Daley ~ Snake Bird

Jedidiah ~ Badger Lion

Octavius ~ Double Badger

[givemea-dam-break]

hi!! i absolutely adore your writing, and i have a request for reader x lockwood :) what if reader is smart and likes to read and stuff but is super oblivious and can’t make a first move for the life of her? and maybe it’s her first kiss or something idk :D

a/n: ooooh yes this is a cute idea!!! i hope you enjoy <3 this is in spite of netflix cancelling the show. fuck netflix.

warnings: none female reader

Correct Me If I'm Wrong - Anthony Lockwood

You're not sure when the last time you felt truly pretty was.

Most days are spent either in tatty pyjamas that are due a wash, or clothes with a myriad of ectoplasm burns and a permanent smell of lavender that clogs up your nose and makes you need to sneeze, no matter what kind of fabric conditioner you shove into the washing machine. Your hair? Well, it's certainly seen better days.

But today. Today.

Lucy stands behind you, zipping up the back of your dress as you smooth the front of it until some of the wrinkles have flattened out a little. The satin gleams in the hazy light of your shared attic bedroom, and you find yourself smiling at your reflection in the mirror. When was the last time you dolled yourself up for something?

That's not to say you're overly concerned with how you look on a day-to-day basis, it's just that the ghost-fighting business doesn't really allow for nice outfits. Except for tonight, you suppose.

The Fittes at Fifty Ball is tonight, and you've been dreading it. In all honesty, you would much rather stay at home and get as much research done about the Bone Glass before the members of Lockwood and Co take on a heist to retrieve it, but you've not got much of a choice. You all need to look as inconspicuous as possible seeing as the very thing you need, a book by Mary Dulac, is stored in the Black Library at the Fittes headquarters.

"All done," Lucy says. "Ready to steal from the biggest, most well-protected agency in the UK?"

No, not really, but still you say, "Always."

"I'm going to get our stuff ready." She fiddles with the billowing sleeves of her blue dress. "Want me to pack those biscuits you like?"

"Absolutely, Luce," you say. "Thank you."

When she leaves, you find yourself staring at your reflection for a moment longer and liking the person you see. With a satiny green dress and hair that looks like more than a few minutes of effort have been put in, you look starkly different from usual. It makes you almost yearn for more party heists.

As you're tugging on your boots, there's a knock on the door. The pattern rapped out on the wood is familiar and it makes you smile, and you say, "Come in."

Lockwood steps through the open door and makes his way up the steps into the bedroom. His dark suit makes him look even more professional than usual, and his hair has been combed back neatly, showcasing those mischief-filled dark eyes you love so much. He's carrying something behind his back, making sure to keep it hidden. But the thing you take the most notice of is his tie. It's green.

It likely means nothing. Lockwood wears whatever he wants whenever he wants with little regard for colour - come on, he wears salmon pink socks! - but something about it feels purposeful. You've never seen him wear a green tie. Hell, you didn't even know he owned one. And this is the exact same shade as your dress.

He stops a few feet short of your bed, watching with glittering eyes as you stand and smooth out your dress once more. There's a smile playing on his lips, softer than his usual grin, and it sends a shiver down your spine.

"How do I look?" you ask, trying to sound more confident than you feel.

Having him see you in a dress, with your hair styled and your makeup done, feels like standing on a stage in front of thousands of people. You're way more nervous than you should be.

For a moment, he says nothing, and you worry that he thinks it looks terrible. Maybe you should've picked the chiffon dress rather than satin, or maybe the red instead of green. You thought you had made your hair look quite nice, but maybe it looks quite stupid...

And then he says, "You look - you look beautiful, (name)."

There's a fluttery feeling in your chest, but you shove it down. You can't let yourself hope for anything that likely won't happen. Friends tell each other they look beautiful. You and Lucy do it all the time! This is no different just because it's Lockwood. Well, maybe it's a little different.

"You, too," you say. Your cheeks flush. "Well, not beautiful. Actually, I mean, if you want to be then sure. I just meant -"

He laughs, and your voice fades off. It's quite possibly your favourite sound, his laugh, because of how light it sounds. After working with him for a few months now, it's easy enough to tell that Lockwood isn't doing great a lot of the time. With his recklessness, the little jokes he makes that aren't really jokes, it's more than evident. So, now, hearing his laugh sound so genuine makes you smile and you feel a little less embarrassed.

"Thank you," he says, his smile becoming brighter. "I, uh, I have something for you. That is if you want it, of course."

"You know I hate surprises."

"Trust me. You'll like this one."

The hand that was behind his back appears, holding what looks to be an old book. The cover is faded, and the pages have browned, but he holds it delicately on the flat palm of his hand. Curiously, you step closer to him and gingerly take it from his hands.

Upon reading the title and flipping through the first few pages, your heart swells with gratitude. "This is a first edition."

"I'd certainly hope so with the trouble I went to finding it."

Your fingers carefully slip through each page, and you smile so widely you're afraid your cheeks might tear. "Lockwood, this had to have cost a fortune! You didn't have to get me this."

His posture is casual, but there's a glimmer of happiness in his eyes that is unmistakable. "I heard you talking to George about it a few weeks ago. It's your favourite book, and your birthday was recently. In all reality, I'd hoped to give it to you then, but today was the day I managed to get my hands on it."

"You -" The words get stuck in your throat, and you can almost feel yourself tearing up. "I've wanted this since I was a kid. I - Thank you, Lockwood. Seriously. This is..."

"You work so hard here," Lockwood says softly, "and I want you to know it doesn't go unnoticed. Besides, you've always been here for me. I wanted to give you something in return."

"I don't need anything in return for being a decent human being."

"Oh, all right. I'll take it back then."

Clutching the book tightly to your chest, you listen happily as he laughs again, throwing his head back a little. It's a wonderful sight, one that has your heart racing, one that makes you itch to throw your arms around him in the tightest embrace you can muster to simply show how grateful you are for the book, for his laugh and his smile and his presence.

But you refrain. Who's to say he won't just push you away?

"Thank you," you say again. "You're the best."

"I hope you're not just saying that because I pay your wages."

It's almost unnoticeable, but he shuffles forward ever so slightly. Already, you can feel the warmth radiating off of him and smell the faint scent of bitter tea and cheap shampoo underneath whatever aftershave he's put on. Your breath catches in your throat. There's less than a foot between you, but it has you fumbling for something to say or do.

"We should probably head downstairs," he murmurs, gaze fixed on yours. "The taxi will be here soon."

You nod. Neither of you moves.

He looks at you with those coppery eyes of his with a smile that feels distinctly private, and your heart thuds so loudly in your chest that you're convinced he can hear it, too. Words echo in your mind, words you want to say to him more than anything else, but your lips stay firmly shut.

How are you meant to tell him how you feel? That every time he merely looks at you, your heart starts beating as if you've just run a marathon? That you long to be the only person he shares his private smiles with, the only one that ever hears his true, unburdened laughs when you make a joke or make a fool of yourself? How are you supposed to explain that the times you spend with him are your favourites or that you search a dozen different shops simply to find his favourite biscuits to make him smile?

It's easy enough to list it to yourself, to find the words, but to say them to him? It's a different thing entirely, and it makes your mouth feel dry and your hands tremble a little.

"I need to tell you something," Lockwood says, and his voice has become breathier, quieter. "Just in case things go wrong tonight.”

"Nothing's going to go wrong."

He makes to take your book from your hands, and you hesitate. He only laughs, promising that it isn't going far, and slips it onto your crowded bookcase with gentle hands.

Gentle hands that soon reach for yours.

The touch takes you by surprise, but it's welcome. His hands are soft and warm, and they envelop yours. Now he has to be able to feel your racing pulse, surely. There's no way he can't.

"(name)..." He pauses, looking away from you for a moment. When his gaze returns, it's soft, nervous, even, and you find yourself transfixed, unable to look away. "I've been trying to tell you this for a few weeks now, but I couldn't - I couldn't figure out the words, so I resorted to other things. Making your tea in the mornings, asking you to come along with me on errands."

Bright, beautiful hope flickers in your chest, and this time you don't push it down. This time, you nurture it, letting it bring a small smile to your lips. Lockwood sees it, and he straightens a little with confidence. Not much, nowhere near as confident as he usually seems, but it keeps him speaking.

"Ever since you walked through the front door for your interview, I've never stopped thinking of you. Day and night, you're on my mind. The way you scrunch your nose when you're listening for Visitors, or how you become entirely unreachable when you read. How I can ask you anything, and you know the answer to it almost immediately."

His hands are shaking a little bit. You squeeze them softly.

"I like the way you smile, and how happy you are when I remember your order for Arif's. Most of all, I like -"

He's struggling with the words.

"Are you trying to say you like me?"

Part of you doesn't believe it. How could he? He's Anthony Lockwood, a boy from the city who owns his own company that breaks how the system of ghost-hunting works by simply having him be in charge. And you? You're a girl from some tiny town, a nobody whose only virtues are being relatively smart and being able to hear ghosts, though not on a grand scale. In reality, your paths would never have crossed if not for you finding a little clipping in the newspaper advertising for an agent.

So how could he like you? With his admirable Sight, the confidence that you always lack, the charm that could be used to entrance any girl he could ever so wish?

But here he stands, so close to you with shaky hands and faltering words, looking at you as if you've been placed here by some otherworldly forces solely for the purpose of enchanting him. He looks at you as if you're more than you really are, like someone a person could love and cherish.

"No," he says.

And your heart sinks all the way down to the floor, followed by your eyes. Your hands slacken in his, and your skin feels hot with embarrassment. You dread to think of how red you've become, and you turn your face away from him, instead looking at the book he gifted you. Were you stupid for hoping it meant more? Probably.

"I love you."

Three words. Three simple words that have your gaze snapping back to his, your heart rushing to your throat, and your hands tensing all at the same time. Three simple words that spark a blazing fire inside your chest. But, still, there's an ache in your throat.

"Don't kid with me, Lockwood."

His eyes are completely sincere, crinkled slightly with humour. "I'm not."

"You're about to laugh."

"Only because you're funny."

"I -" Your hands slip from his, and you brush your hair out of your face, faltering back a step. "You're being serious?"

With slightly pink cheeks and an almost shy smile, he says, "I am. I wouldn't joke about this, (name)."

"You - You love me? Why?"

"Didn't you listen to that long spiel I just had?" Once more, he takes a step closer. Then another until he's standing even closer than before, close enough that you can feel his breaths ruffling your hair slightly. "Because you're you. Because I admire and adore every single part of and about you."

You have to tilt your head to look at him with him being so close. "Have you hit your head recently?"

"If I have, and this is a dream, then I'm glad you're the girl of my dreams."

"Girl in your dreams," you correct quietly, halfheartedly.

Lockwood smiles. "I love that about you, too. That incessant need to correct me on anything I say."

"Someone's got to."

"Okay, well, correct me if I'm wrong, but would I be right in assuming that you feel the same?"

The words catch in your throat, but you nod regardless, smiling when his smile melts into his wide grin. This grin, it isn't the newspaper one. The infamous Lockwood Grin. This is only for you, something for you both to share solely between yourselves, and it's something you feel eternally grateful for being able to see, never mind be the cause of.

"Fantastic," he says, "because there's something I've been wanting to do for what feels like a lifetime now."

Your voice comes out shaky. "Would it perhaps involve kissing me?"

It does, apparently, because he leans closer until your faces are almost touching. His hands cup your face so gently it's as if they've been created from the air itself, but he waits, searching your eyes for any hesitation or rejection.

He never finds it. When your face tilts in accordance with his, he takes his cue and presses his lips onto yours.

You've never kissed anyone before, so the feeling is surreal. It's as if the very world around you melts away into nothingness until all you're aware of is him and his hands on your face, yours on his chest, his lips on yours. By no means is the kiss long, but it feels like eternity in a single second. Everything feels right and perfect.

When he pulls away, you're a little lost for breath, but you smile at him nonetheless, egged on by his dazzling grin. His hands still cup your face, and you're still clutching the blazer at his chest, but neither of you makes to move. Not when this feels so right.

"I'd do that again," he says softly, "but we have a taxi to get in."

"Who cares? One more?"

And he obliges before taking your hand in his and leading you out of the room. All the while, you yourself grin. Maybe you should be hopeful more often.

[maniculum]

Bestiaryposting Results: Glugreng

My apologies for posting a bit later than usual -- I was on the road most of the day for eclipse-viewing purposes, so it's already nighttime as I start this. (Update: and also Firefox crashed multiple time over the process of writing this post.) Anyway, we've got another vaguely-described bird, but one that I think has some interesting details.

If anyone isn't sure what this post is about, you can find an explanation at https://maniculum.tumblr.com/bestiaryposting. If you want to see the entry from which the artists are working, here is the link:

And in general you can see all of this stuff as it posts at the tag "maniculum bestiaryposting", assuming Tumblr's search function wants to show it to you.

Art below the cut:

@silverhart-makes-art (link to post here) continues to post very impressively-rendered beasts. Here, since the only physical detail we have about this bird is "white", they've decided to take inspiration from the fact that it is kept by royal households. Medieval nobility did keep birds, usually for falconry, so here we have a raptorial design. And look, it's caught a fish! Good work, bird.

@pomrania (link to post here) observes that cataract-curing excrement is probably pretty valuable and worth collecting, so here we see a bowl with a dollar sign placed under the bird's perch. Honestly my favorite part of this is the very intense, extremely-close-up eye contact depicted in the middle there. Something about the bird needing (or just choosing) to get really up in one's personal space in order to do the curative "looking in the face" thing is charming to me.

@kaerran (link to post here) also went in the direction of "what kind of bird would be hanging around royal households" and landed on peafowl. There are a couple really clever design decisions here: it intentionally has very visible eyes so it's extra clear whether it's looking at you, and the "burning off the sickness" thing is represented as the feathers from its train being shed. (And thank you for including alt text.)

@sweetlyfez (link to post here) went in an interesting artistic direction, I think: since the entry was very clear that the Glugreng is "white all over", she rendered it entirely in thick white paint -- I think the texture is quite cool. Also I love the crown-collar-thing; SweetlyFez notes that she's only seen that in heraldry, and I think that is the only place it really appears. (I've seen at least one piece of marginalia that had an animal wearing a crown as a collar, but I'm like 80% sure that's someone's heraldic device being put in the illustrations for whatever reason.)

@cheapsweets (link to post here) jumpscared me a bit with this one. More very intense eye contact, but this time directed at the viewer. They also made the connection royalty -> falconry, and drew a bird of prey. For more details on their thought process, please see the linked post. I like the very intense eye contact conceptually, but also I keep scrolling down so it stops Looking At Me.

@coolest-capybara (link to post here) has again drawn something that makes me smile -- the art style is of course amazing, and the straight-on view of the pelican just looks so charmingly goofy. They note that pelicans have "so much convenient space to store all your pesky illnesses," and now all I can think of is a medical version of that "Put Baby In Pelican Mouth" post. (And thank you for including alt text.)

@strixcattus (link to post here) was inspired by the bestiary's decision to state that the bird is "white all over" and "has no black parts" in the same sentence. Weirdly specific, right? So they decided to explore in their post why this repetition might be necessary -- regular readers of these posts may recall that Strixcattus writes modern-naturalist-style reinterpretations of these animals. I'm not going to tell you what they came up with. Go read the linked post. Do it.

In fact, you should read all the linked posts, and consider following any or all of the wonderful artists who choose to participate in this weird little exercise.

All right, Aberdeen Bestiary time. A couple people said in their entry that they think they know what this one is, and I am excited to learn what their guesses were.

Now, since this artist tends to draw raptors in a very standardized way -- this just looks like their eagle but all white -- it's probably not possible to recognize the bird in question from this illustration. However, of course, there's a much larger problem in the way of recognizing this species:

This entry is the caladrius, which does not exist. It's another one of those mythical critters that didn't really catch on in the modern era -- or a strange misunderstanding of a real animal, like the salamander was, but honestly those aren't so much distinct categories as far as I'm concerned.

On the other hand, if you have similar Internet Experiences to me, you might have recognized it just now -- as soon as I saw the Aberdeen Bestiary illustration, I had a moment of "hang on, is that..."

The above is from the 2015 article "Two Medieval Monks Invent Bestiaries" on The Toast. You can check it out here:

(The author is now Daniel M. Lavery, but the byline on the linked article still says "Daniel Mallory Ortberg", probably because The Toast has been defunct for several years so nobody is updating these things.)

Anyway, the "bedbird" is indeed the caladrius. I was able to find the image from the Two Monks article by looking through the gallery attached to the "caladrius" entry on bestiary.ca (which has 94 examples, so it's clearly reasonably widespread). The bedbird comes from British Library MS Sloane 3544. And... I'm going to leave it up to y'all whether you think this should end with the "i've connected the two dots" gif or that quotation about the mystery no one thought was a mystery. It's late, goodnight.

[m4y4wasnthere]

sodapop dating hcs ✮

warnings:

a/n: i forgot to write suggestives for this one but if its wanted I can write a separate hc list for it 🤍

id like to think you guys were friends before he dropped out in highschool and you stumbled upon him at the DX after not seeing him in awhile

reunion was definitely more romantic than platonic, but the only ones who didnt see that were you two

you met him while he was with Sandy, you guys were okay friends, she was a nice girl

you developed a crush on him over time but always pushed it away and helped his relationship

he came to you trying not to cry (he failed) when they officially broke up and how she wasnt ever coming back

you held him in your arms whenever he needed it

it hurt knowing how much he was hurting, it also hurt to know you were there and he wasnt noticing you. but regardless you pushed everything aside for him to be happy

a few months after, he was back to semi-normal

he didnt flirt with girls as often, he was hesitant with interactions but never with you

the gang always saw your obvious crush on him and tried to have push you to talk to him for awhile

they tried convincing you that Soda felt the same but you always doubted it, saying it was just him being friendly

until one day dally was non stop flirting with you and soda couldn’t take it anymore

“C’mon doll, give me a chance.. I won’t do anything you don’t already know me for” Dallas had his arm on the doorway while looking down talking to you.

You were blushing, not because its Dallas, just because of how embarrassing the situation was.

“Dal, you know I don’t see you like that.” You crossed your arms. Dallas places his hand on your hip and tries to bring you closer.

“Let me change your mind baby, I’m sure you’ll like it.” You were about to tell him off before Sodapop pushed Dallas away from you.

“Leave her alone Dal. She doesn’t want your attention.” He stepped infront of you, protecting you from him.

“C’mon man, I was just trying to have some fun.” Dallas murmured curses after he lit a cigarette and walked out the house. “She doesnt need your kind of attention anyways Dal.”

He turned back to you, his expression unreadable. “I’m sorry y/n, I don’t know why I didn’t stop him sooner, I should’ve done something”

“Soda its alright, Its Dallas anyways.” You shyly smiled up at him.

“No you dont get it, I-“ He kept stumbling over his words before he pulled you to an embrace. “I hate seeing guys all over you like that. You don’t deserve that.”

“Sodapop.. I’m okay I swear. There’s not a lot to do-“ Before you could finish he interrupted you.

“I like you Y/n. I hate seeing Dallas all over you because I like you.”

you guys are so gushy with eachother, its disgusting (in a good way)

Darry really likes how kind you are, you always offer to help him make dinner, soda likes sitting at the dining table or just hanging out on a wall in the kitchen and talk to you guys while you cook. (He would burn the house down.)

He loves rambling to you about cars, he knows that you have no clue in what hes talking about but he just likes the fact you actually listen to him

Loves to show off his muscles when he gets to work on a car at the DX while you’re there, purposely does all the work himself instead of him and Steve doing it together

He lets girls gawk over him, but he always talks about you so it gets a bit awkward for them..

“Soda you know you’re really hot right? “Oh Soda look at my new nails!!” “Soda do you think I could get your number?”

“Have guys met my girlfriend Y/n? Shes so pretty… She might as well be a goddess, I love her so much. We had a date the other day and …”

The girls: 🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️

Hes protective over you, but not in the same posessive type of way Dallas is

He knows you love him and trust you, so he won’t do anything unless the other person is SUPPERR into you/gets aggressive

Usually hes nice about it, says stuff like “Hey thats my girl man, can you chill out?” “Shes taken by me man -insert goofy smile-“

[shadeslayer]

under cut for mouthwashing spoilers kind of (me running w what ive gathered so far in it). heavy heavy SA and pregnancy horror stuff cuz that's the game story

OKK the thing is man. all the other stuff ok cool usual horror grindset etc. and im not usually super bothered by pregnancy like i know some trans mascs can be, like im pretty neutral on the idea of it overall. but gdddd. the fucking like. the trapped without reprieve feeling anya mustve had. like she couldnt breathe. for months and months. and then surrounded by people drinking alcohol by the gallon to survive.

like the thing is im thinking/guessing that jimmy assaulted her early on in the trip, and he wouldve known there was the possibility she would get pregnant. and with ~8 months left to go on the trip, possibly more depending on the timeline, like. being the only nurse on the ship isolated with minimal resources and a crew of her rapist, her rapists best friend whos in charge and thinks they should just talk it out, a guy whos a cynical cunt, and some ~19yo intern. what is she supposed to do? presumably there was no plan b type stuff onboard or it wouldve been mentioned. so now shes forced to figure out a quiet self abortion or to carry to term and possibly deliver on the ship. and if she did that and the full trip was over 9 months, the questions of what happened - at the least she wouldve been subject to massive humiliation and speculation among her longtime coworkers

and i was thinking he did it on purpose to torment her honestly but learning that his reaction to it was to try and kill them all? honestly idk which one is worse. theyre both so bad. but just the way he dodged all guilt or culpability. the way even when hes running through surreal dreamscapes of guilt and horror, its only about the young man be led to the death of. its not about the woman whos life he ruined so thoroughly that she killed herself. its not about his friend that hes been physically assaulting and forcing medication into him after he was so burned and injured by what he did and has been sawing the limbs off of. its about his own self centered interest in daisuke, probably as someone hes projecting on to as jimmy im sure sees himself as a roguish young man whos unbothered and cool, or a victim of circumstance. he mourns daisuke so much even as hes murdering swansea and even as hes saying that curly "will thank me for it one day." Man.

but the thing is the like. idea of forcing her to carry to term bc theyre all trapped on that ship for the longhaul and shes the one woman and one nurse and is so utterly alone and without resources. thats upset me So much like it makes me feel so actually ill. this is what i like horror to explore, not like creepy supernatural whatifs but the horror of humanity and the horror of cruelty. it reminds me of when i watched hereditary/midsommar and i was like man ok..yeah. like my personal horror thesis of ~the real horror~ is day to day shit

[possessionisamyth]

can’t read even 1/4 of the het ships in this tag because people put all the women into such tradwife roles it makes me want to vomit, so here are my headcanons when it comes to cooking abilities

Jill Valentine- Military rationing because it’s less time consuming. She cooks once and makes enough food to eat on for two weeks. She will eat that soup/beans&rice/chili for every other meal until she runs out. All her recipes are “throw everything in a pot and let it simmer overnight” style. Anything that has her sauteing, baking, or frying will get burned since she gets distracted doing other more important stuff.

Rebecca Chambers- Does not cook. Can not cook. Has not figured out how to cook. Take-out Queen. She can find a good restaurant or cafe in any area and this skill was honed on purpose. Hates long wait times for food though, so if she can she’ll send someone else to get her food/drinks.

Claire Redfield- Cooking level is tolerable as in she can follow easy recipes when there’s a video to watch, but may get an ingredient or measurement wrong and wonder why the dish tastes off. Anything more complicated than meatloaf or country fried steak is her nemesis.

Ada Wong- Fucking hates cooking. Can cook something decent with the littlest variety of ingredients, but hates it so much. She hates the mess during prep time, the mess during cooking, and the clean up afterwards. Hires a personal chef where she can or goes out to eat. (Before anyone disagrees saying she doesn’t trust strangers this much, consider she has a lot of money from her jobs and most people do not actually know who the fuck she is.)

Sherry Birkin- Substitution Queen. Loves to cook, and loves to experiment with food even more. If she starts cooking and finds she’s missing an ingredient, she’ll look at other recipes to see if she can replace it with something else. Will finish eating her food experiments or new recipe attempts even if they’re a little bland while constructing ideas on how to make it better next time.

Ashley Graham- Cooks college student food even into adulthood. Lactose intolerant but ignores it.  Her mom couldn’t cook, and no longer having a personal chef left her in the wild to figure things out. She will put together any strange combination of food for the taste and calories. She mixes cereals together. She mixes plain yogurt into her ramen. She will lovingly add a slice of cheese on top of the most white looking piece of baked chicken before adding hot sauce and sandwiching it between 9-grain wheat bread for the sake of getting some kind of fiber in her body.

Ingrid Hunnigan- The planner. She can follow almost any recipe without too much difficulty, and always makes sure she has all the ingredients before she starts. She cannot improv or substitute ingredients to save her life.

Sheva Alomar- Teaches herself how to cook a new recipe or better a current recipe when she has the time. Has 5 go-to recipes she’s mastered which everyone loves, but no consistent recipe book. Will default to military rationing where she’ll make a big pot of something and eat on it for a few days until she gets bored of it and goes out to eat. Forgets about ingredients she purchased and only used a little of, and they go bad making her feel guilty.

Helena Harper- Frozen meals or box meals where she adds a “secret ingredient” into whatever she cooks. The secret ingredient is always cayenne pepper or bouillon powder.

Mia Winters- Can cook only the most white american food possible, but thankfully is not afraid of spices or spicy food. Hamburgers, steak, casseroles, tuna salad, and so on, she can manage pretty well. Any “foreign” food is lost on her. The first time Ethan brought home an avocado with plans to make guacamole, he caught her using a potato peeler on it.

Let me know if you’d like a similar list with the men of RE.

[minniesmelody]

Boo?

Pairing: Eddie x Fem! Reader

Summary: Sudden murders start to happen all over the small town Hawkins, the killer hasn't been caught and the more time that passes by, more murders happen. Who could have possibly done such a horrible crime such as this?

Warnings: Murder, mentions of blood, cussing, stalker like shit, mentions of stabbing, gore, this is based off the script of scream credit to Kevin Williamson for writing such a masterpiece. I did change a some stuff so please don’t go off like “ohhh that’s not what happened” yeah I know, that was on purpose.

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝟏/???

𝟭𝟯+ 𝗶𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝟭𝟯 𝗽𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲 𝗗𝗡𝗜 𝗽𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗸 𝘆𝗼𝘂.

POV: Third person and first person

March 28, 1986 9:12 pm

*Ring ring ring*

"God who can be calling at this time?" Chrissy says to herself before walking into her dad's office and picking up the phone "Hello?"

"Hello?"

"yes?"

"Who is this?"

"Mm who are you trying to reach?"

"What number is this?"

"Well what number are you trying to reach?"

"i don't know"

"well i think you have the wrong number"

"do i?"

"It happens, take it easy" Chrissy says before hanging up, placing the phone down and walking away.

But then it rang again.

*ring ring ring*

"Hello?"

"I'm sorry i guess i dialed the wrong number.”

”So why did you dial it again?”

“To apologize I guess”

“You’re forgiven, bye now-“

“Wait, wait, don't hang up.”

"why shouldn't i?"

"Cause i wanna talk to you"

"They got 900 numbers for that. see ya"

"wait-"

Chrissy quickly hangs up the phone and walks to the kitchen, placing some Jiffy pop on the stove.

ring ring ring

'Jesus now the living room phone' Chrissy thinks to herself. She picked up the phone and raised it to her ear.

"Yes?"

"Oh come on sweetheart, why don't you wanna talk to me?"

"Because i don't know who you are" She says as she walks back into the kitchen where the popcorn starts to pop.

"What's the noise?"

"Just some popcorn i got going on my stove right now"

"hm, i can only enjoy popcorn when i'm at the movies"

"Well i'm about to watch a movie so.."

"Really? What movie?"

"The breakfast club, even though i've watched it more times than i can count, but i'd rather watch that rather than some scary movie or something"

"You don't like scary movies?"

"Not really, they give me nightmares"

"What's you're favorite movie?"

"um...Grease, i think i will have to say Grease"

"Is that one the Musical Romance one? With the blonde girl?"

"Yeah Sandy"

"SANDY! That's right, that's what her name was."

"Yeah i liked her"

"so...you gotta boyfriend?"

"No. Why? You wanna ask me out?"

"You know sweetheart, you never told me you're name"

"Why do you wanna know my name" Chrissy said as she walked back to the living room to place the Grease VHS in.

"Cause i wanna know who i'm looking at"

Chrissy's movement freezes "What did you just say?"

"I said i wanna know who i'm talking to"

"That's not what you said"

"What did you think i said?"

Chrissy quickly jogged up to her front door and clicked on her front porch lights on, she didn't spot a single thing so she turned them back off and walked back to the living room.

"Listen, i gotta go"

"wait- i thought we were gonna go out"

"I don't think so"

"Don't hang up on me"

"Gotta go"

"Don't-"

Chrissy quickly places the phone down and runs to all her doors and locks them. She walks back to the popcorn (which was starting to burn) she takes the popcorn off the stove and places it in the sink to cool off and-

ring ring ring

"Oh my gosh, yes?" Chrissy says, picking up the phone once again.

"I told you not hang up on me"

"What do you want from me?"

"To talk"

"Well dial someone else please"

She hung up the phone again but only for it ring again.

ring ring ring

"Listen-"

"NO! You listen to me you little bitch! If you hang up on me again i'll gut you like a fish, Understand?"

Silence consumes them. He has gotten her full attention.

"Is this some kind of joke?"

"more of a game really"

Chrissy's eyes the front door of her house. It's unlocked. 'I could have sworn i locked it' she thinks to herself. She wastes no time bolting it and locking it again.

She looks through the peephole to see if anyone is on the other side of the door, thankfully there is not a single soul.

Chrissy relaxes a bit, relieved.

"i'm two seconds away from calling the police"

"They'd never make it in time"

"What do you want from me?" Chrissy's eyes start to water, fear consumes her.

The person on the other line starts to laugh a little before saying "to see what you're insides look like"

Chrissy wastes no time hanging up and throwing the phone on a side table when-

ding

Her front door bell chimes

"Who's there?" She calls out

ding

Another chimes hits

"I said who's there?"

No answers. Fuck this. 'It's time for the police' Chrissy thinks to herself. She goes to pick up the portable phone once again, just as she picks it up...

ring ring ring

Chrissy almost drops it, losing her breath, starts to panic all the more.

She brings it to her ear with trembling hands, saying nothing...listening...waiting...

"You should never say "who's there?" It's a death wish"

"Look, enough is enough. You had your fun now you better leave or else"

"Or else what?"

Chrissy pauses before speaking up once again.

"My boyfriend will be here any second and he'll be pissed"

"I thought you didn't have a boyfriend"

She starts to let out sobs "I lied, i do have a boyfriend and he'll be here any moment and he is big and he plays basketball and he will beat the shit out of you"

"His name wouldn't be Jason, would it?"

Silence. Chrissy's knees start to buck and shake.

"How do you know his name?"

"Go to the back door and turn on the porch light again"

Chrissy is terrified, she has to force herself to move, walking back to the kitchen and to the glass doors. Her shaky hand finds the light switch, she hits it.

Sitting in a law chair in the middle of the backyard is a man with wide shoulders and a small head of dirty blonde hair, her boyfriend Jason. He is tied and gagged, he has been roughed up, but still breathing.

"Oh god" Chrissy says out loud, covering her mouth as another sob escapes her mouth. Her hand moves to unlock the door-

"I wouldn't do that if i were you"

Chrissy is beyond petrified.

"Where are you?"

"Guess"

Her eyes search the yard. Her eyes wandering over the bushes, trees, He could be hidden anywhere.

"Please don't hurt him"

"That all depends on you"

"Why are you doing this?" She cries out

"I want to play a game"

She sniffles a few times before responding "What kind of game?"

"Turn off the light"

Her hand goes to the switch, Steve tugs and pulls at his straps. his face sweating and full of tears.

His figure disappears in the darkness as she clicks the light off. Chrissy moves herself away from the glass doors and back to the living room, her body shaking in fear.

"Here is how we play. I ask a question, if you get it right, Steve lives, it's easy"

"Please..." She sobs and cries and she starts to crouch down, losing her balance to stand on two feet.

"It's an easy category, movie trivia, i'll even give you a warm up question"

"Don't do this, i can't..."

"Name the two main characters of grease"

"no" She sobs out

"Come on it's your favorite movie remember? The one with the guy and girl meet at the beach and fall in love?"

"No please i don't know"

"Yes you do, come on, Jason's counting on you"

Chrissy pauses for a second to catch her before answering "Sandy, Sandy and Danny"

"YES! Very good. Now for the real question, same category, who played Allison in The Breakfast Club?"

"Molly Ringwald!"

"I'm sorry but that's the wrong answer"

"No it's not, i've watched it more times than i can count"

"Then you should know Molly Ringwald plays Claire, not Allison, Allison was played by Ally Sheedy"

"Please...." Chrissy says, sobs continuing to escape her mouth and tears falling down her face, drenching her rosy pink cheeks.

"Lucky for you, there is a bonus round, but i'm afraid poor little Jason... is out"

This implication sends Chrissy running to the kitchen, she flips the porch lights on just to see Jason, eyes wide, still tied and stilling in the lawn chair, his stomach gaping open, a mass of blood and ripped flesh. His insides lay on the ground between his feet, steam rising.

A scream erupts from the bottom of her soul as Chrissy nearly passes out, her face pale and ghostly white.

"Final question, are you ready?"

She doesn't answer, a long maddening silence. Chrissy reaches and clicks off the porch light, making the body of Jason go away into the darkness "Leave me alone...please"

"answer the question and i will, what door am i at?"

"What?" Chrissy says, confused.

"There are two doors to your house, a front door and a back door. You answer correctly, you live"

Chrissy eyes both of the doors, almost studying them, trying to decide between the two "Don't make me...I can't...i won't"

"Your call"

Chrissy slowly makes her way to the kitchen counter, leaning over it and grabbing a long, sharp knife. Chrissy looks around her, she looks down the hall to the front door, then turns back to the kitchen glass door as it suddenly Shatters to bits, a lawn chair comes flying through it, exploding glass sprays everywhere. Chrissy quickly makes her way to her back door, slowly slipping through it, she peeks through the glass door to see a cloaked figure roaming around her house.

She turns her head to see a car heading towards the house, her parents.

She peeks back to the glass door just to see the cloaked figure now staring at her. They quickly punch through the glass door as if it was nothing. This incites Chrissy like fire, she bolts for it, running through her yard, not even sure where to go just knowing that she needed to run.

It didn't last long though as they eventually caught her, grabbing her and slashing her in the chest with a knife. Chrissy looks down to see her sweater start to blossom red. The knife rises again, the blade comes down but is blocked by the portable phone still in her hand. This gives her a chance to get up and bolt for it, she runs as fast as she can to her parents, who were approaching the front door of the house.

She opens her mouth to scream but no sound resonates.

Her father finds the front door afar, a puzzled look rises on his face, Chrissy right behind them with one arm stretched out. Her parents don't bother to look behind them as they enter their home.

"Chrissy?" her father yells out "Chrissy, honey where are you? Call the police"

"Help...me" Her mother hears her from the phone

"Oh god, i can hear her"

"Get in the car and drive down to the Mackenzie's" Her father says, handing her mother the keys to the car.

Her father moves through the house when a scream erupts from his wife's mouth, he rushes out the door to find his wife, on her knees, bent over, retching. His eyes move beyond to a tree in the front yard as he bares to witness to the single most horrifying sight he'll ever see.

That of his only daughter as she hangs from a big oak tree, strung up, very much dead, her stomach ripped open.

"Oh my god, do you believe this shit?" Jeff said, walking beside me.

"What happened?" i asked

"You don't know? Chrissy Cunningham and Jason Carver were killed last night"

"Uh yeah nice try, there is no way"

"Yes way, and not just like, Y/n. We are talking splatter movie killed-split open end to end, it's insane"

"Wait- Chrissy Cunningham? As in the queen of Hawkins High?"

"Yup, parents found her hanging from a tree, her insides on the outside"

"Do they know who did it?"

"Fucking clueless, they are interrogating the entire school. Teachers, students, staff, janitors"

"Hey there sweetheart" Eddie says, approaching me, placing a shoulder over me as we walk into school together "Crazy huh?"

"Are you kidding? Murder in the small innocent town that is Hawkins? Who would have thought"

"Yup, they are even bringing the feds into this, this is-"

"Wait- the feds?" Eddie asks, shock written on his face.

"I know right? This is like, insane, who would do such a thing?"

“Remember in JAWS when they caught the wrong shark at first and Richard Dreyfuss cut it open to look for body parts and all they found was a licence plate and all this white milky goo.” Gareth said only for Jeff to lean over and sock Gareth in the arm.

“You heard Eddie, shut the fuck up”

“Whatever man” Gareth said before taking a swing of his chocolate milk that was sitting on his lunch tray.

“Hey Jeff, didn’t you have a crush on Chrissy, or was that Eddie?” Mike asked, joining the conversation.

“I mean yeah, we both did, but what does that have to do with anything?”

“I mean, I’m just saying Jeff, when you start falling for someone you start falling hard-“

“So what are you trying to say? That I killed her or something?” Jeff said, obviously offended by Mikes words

“It would certainly improve on you’re high school Q”

“Relax, Jeff was with me last night, I need his help building my newest lego set” Dustin said, backing up for Jeff.

“Oh, before or after he sliced and diced?” Mike questioned.

“Fuck you asshole, where were you last night Mike?” Jeff questioned Mike, pointing a finger at him.

“First off, put your finger down and second, I was helping my sister yesterday for her stupid newspaper so I was busy, I didn’t have time to murder someone, not like I would want to in the first place,, but if you don’t stop I will gut your ass in a second” Mike explained.

“Did you really put her liver in the mailbox? I heard they found her liver in the mailbox”

“Gareth, you goon-fuck, I’m eating here” I said, I didn’t really wanna think of stuff like that when I’m stuffing my face with food.

“Yeah Gareth, she is getting mad. I think you better liver alone” Eddie pitched in and joked, not funny.

"So, tell us, what relationship did you and Miss Cunningham have?" Officer Callahan said, note pad in hand, Officer Daniels and Officer Powell's next to him.

This is stupid, i get it, someone died but why interrogate me? I'm just some loser in high school who very obviously doesn't like the snotty popular circle of peo-......no you know what....i see why they would want answers from me at least. Disliking the Queen of the popular kids and she ends up dead....yeah i see why.

"I didn't really have much of a relationship with Chrissy, it’s not like I hated her. I didn't talk to her much but she hung around all the popular kids and dated that dipshit Jason Carver, i disliked Jason more than Chrissy, like i said, i didn't talk to her much." I explained, shuffling a bit in the uncomfortable school chair that was attached to a wooden desk, sitting in an empty classroom.

"Did you guys ever clash on anything? Any arguments? With Miss Cunningham or Mr Carver?" Officer Daniels asked this time.

"I never fought with Chrissy as i never really talked to her like i said already. Me and Jason fought almost on a daily basis. He would be his prick self and taunt us"

"Us?" Officer Callahan questioned.

"Hellfire? Me, Eddie, Gareth, Dustin, you know...the freaks? Weirdos? The opposite of the popular's?" I said while pointing at my shirt, red devil and dice plastered on top of it.

"Is that the Dungeons and Dice club?"

"It's Dungeons and Dragons"

"Whatever, same thing, did you happen to know if Jason clashed with anyone else other than anyone in Hellfire?" Officer Powell asked, annoyed at my comeback towards Officer Callahan.

I shook my head no "How should i know? I tried to avoid the asshole as much as possible"

"Was there ever a time you wanted him to die? Any time you wanted him...gone?"

I thought for a second before answering since there was a few times.

Like the one time he grabbed me the wrong way while i was waiting for Eddie to be done with his little drug deal, he grabbed my ass and waist and started forcing himself on me, the smell of beer and weed bouncing off of him, i had pushed him off of me and ran back to Eddie as fast as i could.

Or like that one time he had pushed Dustin down the stairs and called him a toothless walrus, i had punched him in face and told him to eat shit, and yeah maybe i told him to go and die but i didn't think back then that he would actually end up getting murdered and end up dying 6 months later from that moment.

"I mean...i've thought about him suffering due to his actions but i never in a million years thought it would actually happen for real"

"And you don't know anyone who would do this? For real, not verbally?"

"No Officer, not at all"

"Sorry, work ran late, i'm on my way" Nancy said from the other line.

Me and Nancy had gotten a bit close, her being the older sister of Mike after all and being of course from being one girl to another, we mostly understood each other for the most part.

She had invited me over for a sleepover, her mom offering to make a bunch of snacks and watch some movies together, but writing and work was always her main focus, no mater what she wouldn't budge to take her focus off whatever project she was focused on before anything else.

"Yeah sure, i will be here waiting"

"Great, by the way i wanna swing by Family Video and get something. I was thinking something with Tom Cruise in it" Oh yeah, she has a Tom Cruise obsession, she has a whole poster of him hanging up on her wall in her bedroom and everything.

"Whatever, just hurry" I said before placing the phone back in it's place and starting to walk away, until-

ring ring ring

Nancy? Did she forget to say something? Did i say something? Was it even Nancy? Only one way to find out. I picked up the phone and raised it to my ear.

"Nancy?"

"Hello Y/N"

I didn't know the voice, i would have known who it is by now, has to be someone who called the wrong number or something.

"Hi, who is this?"

"You tell me"

I'm trying to place his voice but nothing clicks, it sounds a little bit distorted.

"I have no idea"

"Scary night isn't it? With all the murders and all, it's like its all coming right out of a horror movie or something"

"Ah Gareth, you gave yourself away, you are the only person i can think of who speaks about movies at random times, especially horror movies"

"Do you like scary movies?"

"I like that thing you are doing with your voice Gare, i think the ladies will dig it"

"What's your favorite scary movie?"

"Don't start, you know i don't watch that shit"

"And why is that?"

"Because they are all the same, it's always some stupid killer stalking some big breasted girl who always runs upstairs when they should be running out the front door, its ridiculous."

A brief silence passed by.

“Are you alone in the house?”

“That is so unoriginal. You disappoint me, Gareth”

“That’s because I’m not Gareth”

“So who are you then?”

“The question is not who am I, the real question is where am I?”

“So where are you?”

“Your front porch”

I pause, I slowly move towards the window closet to me and pull aside the drapes, I can’t see all of the porch but I don’t see anyone.

“Why would you call me from my front porch?”

“That’s the original part”

"Oh yeah? Well i call your bluff"

Fuck it, i quickly unlock the door and swing it open revealing the front porch, but i see no one.

It's one of the boys pulling a prank on me, it has to be, i can't think of anyone else it could be.

"Can you see me right now?"

"uh-huh"

An idea pops up in my head.

"What am i doing?" i say as i stick my finger to my nose, mimicking i was picking my nose "Good try Gareth, better see you at school, don't need you failing like Eddie, bye now-"

"If you hang up, you'll die just like Chrissy and Jason did….do you wanna die? I know they didn’t…”

My mouth went dry. Mouth agape but no words leaving it. I couldn’t even stop myself from hanging up immediately and dialing one of the only numbers I knew wouldn’t be dead luck…

911.