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wonderingpanda · 1 year ago

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Okay so uh my brain did a silly and I’m so sorry but for the Girls Team meets 2012!TMNT can it be romantic somehow, I’m not sure how you’d manage it but maybe separate HCs/Scenarios?

Again super super sorry my brain likes to go people pleaser mode even online :<

Relationships and Dynamics

I decided to give each girl 2 different sets of headcanons. The first being how they are in a platonic relationship and the other being how they are in a romantic relationship. I hope you enjoy.

Leo and Gina

Training together all the time

It’s almost like a rivalry where they both want to take charge and make all the decisions

Definitely fighting for who gets to say the heroic leader lines

Lots of playful banter, especially when in battle

When they first met it was like an ongoing war to prove who was the better leader

Leo’s also pretty insecure and is always showing off his fighting skills in hopes he’ll impress Gina and maybe earn some praise

Secretly, she’s almost like a big sister for him which is new as he’s never really had an older sibling to look up to, only Splinter

In the end Leo accepts the fact that they’re both great leaders and enjoys working by her side

Leo and Sadie

Leo is very bold in comparison to Sadie

They match each other in skills and tactics, having similar ideas and logic to each other

They enjoy meditating together as it brings out a similar calm that the two both enjoy

There are plenty of times where Sadie will have gotten herself in a rough situation and find herself in need of Leo’s help

He definitely roped her into watching space heroes with him

They’re just two dorks having fun loving each other

Raph and Mira

He’s pretty aggressive at first and doesn’t exactly trust her (who can blame him)

But, after some forced friendly bonding, the two eventually get more comfortable with each other

Soon enough they’re basically each others therapists

Due to their equally forceful fighting styles it’s easy for the two to work through their anger by sparring together

Will rant to each other constantly

Are always looking out for each other during fights

If one of them is in danger the other is ready run in and kick ass

Raph and Gina

Raph and Gina are an interesting pair to say the least

They fight a lot which is mainly caused by their clashing views

However, ultimately they ended up having feelings for each other which neither could really accept

But after some time it just happened

Gina will typically be very teasing towards Raph while he goes off at her like an angry bird on steroids

But they enjoy each others company and are glad to be together knowing that they’re an unstoppable duo in combat

Donnie and Sadie

As the two smartest people out of both teams it only makes sense that they would get along easily

Instantly clicked over the most random topics that none of the others could understand

An intellectual power duo undoubtedly

Definitely have cute moments of exchanging gadgets and geeking out together

Maybe even a time where Donnie tries on Sadie’s glasses and she tries on his goggles

Neither exactly fit but it was worth a shot

Many explosions are bound to occur when the two are within five feet of each other

No one is safe

Donnie and Lia

Their relationship first began when Donnie noticed the potions Lia used in combat

Lia doesn’t really understand the science behind them but has a system to know how to use them

But when Donnie noticed their abilities he wanted to spend every moment studying them and their chemical properties

Donnie, being Donnie, was very awkward in discovering his feelings while Lia just lived with it

Donnie’s mainly the brains of the two while Lia adds her chaotic, impulsive nature

They’re both very expressive and make their feelings pretty obvious

But they can both be completely oblivious which prevents them from taking things a step further

Thankfully with a little push from their siblings the two got together although it was a painfully long process

Mikey and Lia

What happens when you put a loose canon with a crackhead? Pure, utter chaos

The second they met it was like fireworks colliding in the sky and then raining fiery ashes upon an unsuspecting city

There is not a moment of peace I promise you that

Both are extremely affectionate with each other and have a similar habit of suffocating people via hug

They’ll also generally confide in one another during difficult times with their respective families

The two really do make an incredible team, especially when it comes to pranks

No water balloon shall go un-thrown

Mikey and Mira

These two are a prime example of opposites attract

We’ve all seen the girls Mikey has crushed on previously, he likes someone fierce and strong like Mira

She holds him down when he becomes too much and he loosens her up when she’s being too uptight

They balance each other out, and while Mira may be cold to him at first it’s simply her way of hiding how much she adores him

Hope you enjoyed reading! Please have an amazing day/night wherever you may be!✨

#tmnt #tmnt 2012 #tmnt x oc #oc #leo x oc #donnie x oc #raph x oc #mikey x oc

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tmnt-reticent · 2 years ago

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The sillies‼️‼️‼️

Ret!Raph casually being terrified of bugs but refusing to admit it- Ret!Mikey is done with his twin’s crap, they’re just little guys‼️‼️

Ret!Don is just as scared as Ret!Raph hvghgvghjgh he’s just trying to be polite

Ret!April is the oldest of the group so girl is just going FULL big sister mode with TCG!April ghgjbvghjbh-

We’re about 20/80 on the poll so please vote for Reticent and The Children’s Garden in the @non-rise-tmnt-au-competition so we can tie with Teenage Turtle Ninja Mutants‼️‼️ idk I just think us collecting iterations is funny (also TTNM is very cool so‼️‼️‼️)

The Children’s Garden belongs to @nakanemiya ‼️‼️💖💖💖🫶🫶🫶

#tmnt reticent #reticent #the childrens garden #tmnt fan iteration #teenage mutant ninja turtles iteration #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt fanart #teenage mutant ninja turtles fanart #tmnt iteration

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lady-maria-the-wolf225 · 4 years ago

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The boys if they had their favorite dance styles:

Ballet and ballroom dance: these two dance styles are very elegent and very fitting for Leo. He would enjoy waltzing around the lair with his female partner or seeing her dancing around him in a ballet session as the soft soothing song echoes throughout the sewer walls and makes him smile as he dances along. 😁

Tango and Salsa: two different spanish dance styles. One that is slow and sexy, while the other is energetic and fun. Raph would lift and spin his partner around enjoying the beat of the music. Plus, he would only dance when his brothers aren't even around. There's always that one guy who prefers to dance privately. 😜

Tap Dance and Disco: just imagine Donnie tapping his feet with some tap dancing shoes he made from his lab, or dancing disco with a disco ball spinning in the middle of the lair while playing michael jackson and other types of disco songs he can think of. It would seem a bit silly to his brothers, but if he were to do any of those two dance styles with his female partner, he would go all out showing his moves.🎼

Hip Hop and Swing: the energy of these two dance styles would rock any woman's socks off when the one and only Mikey would show off his moves. With a partner, he would have a lot of fun, and wouldn't get tired every minute of it at all! He would put on some up beat music to set up the mode, and he would sometimes act like Elvis Presley when his songs come on. 😍

@memes-in-a-half-shell @the-second-circle-of-shell @selfless1978 @kokokatsworld @tmntspidergirl @tmnt-fangirl101 @tmnt-would2 @michelangelo-ornge-partydude @donnie-duz-machines @donnies-icing @donnie9000

#michelangelo #donatello #leonardo #raphael #bayverse tmnt #dance style

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imma-lil-teapot · 5 years ago

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TMNT 2003/2k3 Headcanon: Crying - (Leonardo)

Feel free to scroll past this first part if you’re not interested in my silly rambling and nonsense. I won’t mind. Promise. ;)

Okey-dokey then, with the global epidemic that is the Coronavirus well in action and most of the world stuck in lockdown (starting this Friday for us too), felt like getting the ‘ol creative juices flowing with a little headcanon-y thingy in preparation for -possibly- more fandom writings to keep myself busy during the house arrest (well... it kinda is!) and hopefully my mind off all the bad news. :(

Also, this is totally my first one on the blog! WOOT! Please bear in mind that I’m SUPER rusty! Haven’t written in ages so there are bound to be typos and all matter of general errors scattered throughout the post. Don’t pet them! They bite!

Anyhoo~ Despite attempting to create and share with the goal in mind to uplift spirits, I decided to start on a rather upsetting subject (PLEASE DON’T LEAVE! They end on happy notes ;) ) because, Imma just come and say it, I enjoy seeing my favourite characters shed tears (not for just any old reason -their personality plays a huge role in this- and CERTAINLY not for sadistic reasons, land sakes no! But... well, you’ll see~ ;) ) It makes me all gooey and fuzzy inside to see them display such raw emotion and I just wanna leap into the TV screen to hug and console them. I dunno why. Maybe I’m nuts like that. (Remembers Raph crying at the farm when Leo was badly injured and wishes she could just hug them all and take away the pain) Oh well, if you enjoy visualizing the same, then *High Fives*. :)

So yeah, if you read the title, you’ll know this is based on the 2003/2k3 series (my favs). Hope you all enjoy~ :D Grab tissues cause sad turts ahead! :’(

Jibber jabber stops here~

TURTLES~

LEONARDO - You are here

RAPHAEL

DONATELLO - Coming soon

MICHELANGELO - Coming soon

WARNING(S): Because of the subject, Angst and Hurt/Comfort will be present.

RATING: G (General)

WORD COUNT: Don’t have the foggiest.

ANYTHING ELSE TO ADD:

And apparently gifs too, so without further ado: (Completely unintentional but in actuality, totally intentional rhyming)...

TO THE HEADCANONS~~~~

~LEONARDO~

-- It’s no easy feat to make the leader in blue turn on the waterworks. Leo won’t cry for any old reason. It’s not because he has no emotions, far from it, but being the leader of a small ninja clan -who happen to be family as well- is no easy task in itself: he has a lot on his young shoulders and deals with many issues on a daily basis few his age ever have to.

-- It’s because of these reasons that Leo doesn’t cry often. One of the lesser likely to out of the four brothers. But when he does, it’s an emotionally distressing sight to behold.

-- Leo tends to cry whenever those closest to him -namely his brothers, his father/master and truest friends- are severely injured or are in a dire situation. Remember his angry/moody arc? The thought of losing any of them causes him great pain and distress, especially if he were the cause of any of it, and when that happens, he can’t stop the dampness that forms around his eyes and soaks into his mask.

-- He’s not fond of crying, especially in front of others, even though he fully comprehends its normalcy. He feels he needs to be everyone’s rock, their fortress of physical and emotional stability to turn to for strength when things get rough... So when the tears start to fall, he feels he can’t show them, can’t allow them to watch him crumble under the gripling weight of helplessness and anguish.

-- He frantically wipes at his eyes and desperately attempts not to sniffle, but it’s a hopeless battle, for his tears are already a steady stream.

-- He’ll try to hide when possible, usually retreating to his room to allow the worst of the emotions to spill over before returning to the others... Though he may be in there a while: when Leo lets his emotions go, it can be just as powerful as his red-banded brother’s rage.

-- He spares no time in making sure the coast is clear for the tears are already streaming by the time he reaches his futon, and there’s no stopping them now as he lets himself drop to his knees, only halfway onto the mattress. He purposefully leaves the room unlit, cloaking his form in the darkness.

-- He sniffs a few times as he shuffles up against the wall, sitting upright against it, bringing his legs up and hugging them loosely and droops his head against a single knee pad.

-- His voice desperately wishes to escape. To express its misery. But he won’t allow it to, often placing one hand over his face in a bid to quell the sadness and remain silent in the battle against his own inner turmoil. He refuses to let anyone see him in that state of utter sorrow and vulnerability.

-- He whimpers ever so slightly and coughs a few times as breathing becomes difficult. He knows this episode won’t be over any time soon. Fortunately, he keeps some tissues next to his bed for such rare occasions and tries not to blow too loudly. He thinks back to the last time he cried so hard... It’s been a while. It felt like a build up.

-- Time has been forgotten as he’s lost in deep thought. By the time he slips a hand across his eyes, only the material of his mask is still slightly damp. He clears his nostrils a couple of times before considering whether he was ready to return to his family. He’d of course straighten up his bedding beforehand, and would also require a trip to the bathroom to wash his face. A true ninja leaves no evidence.

-- Leo tries to put the horrifying images out of head before leaving his quarters. He doesn’t wish to be weighed down again and thus maybe cause his emotions to come out a second time. He knew someone would catch on that time. Instead, he holds his head up high, focusing on the there and now to carry him forward.

BONUS EXTRA~

-- Failure is also one of his greatest foes. Leo despises it, but not in the irrational sense; he fully comprehends that in order to grow, one has to lose in order to learn and thus, succeed in turn, and while it can frustrate him when he’s unsuccessful at mastering a martial arts technique for example, he understanders it’s part of the process and that no one’s perfect.

-- It’s when his slipups could spell casualties or death to his family and/or friends is when it weighs down on him like a boulder strapped to his shell.

-- A really big one.

-- And it hurts. So much so that it causes him to become despondent and often teary-eyed when no one’s looking.

-- Boi Bloo might also cry from especially sad movie scenes. He gets seriously into the story, and when the scene is just right -perfect music, perfect timing etc.- you may just catch Fearless with watery eyes.

-- He can’t help it. After all, he’s a leader, and very caring and kind-hearted individual, so movies showing children or anyone/anything defenceless getting hurt has him not only visibly upset, but also angry at the cause. He’s a softie like that.

-- He won’t have a meltdown, of course, but the tears are definitely there. Just don’t tease him too much; he’s easily embarrassed by it. ;)

BONUS EXTRA EXTRA FEMALE READER OR S/O EDITION~ (Can also use an OC/FC insert if you wish, up to you)

You had figured something was up by the time you’d finished greeting everyone in the Splinterson household except for the Turtle you’d long to see most and he hadn’t made his presence yet known.

The idea that he must’ve been practicing or meditating swiftly vanished when Mikey told you he’d been in his room in the dark for the past few hours. “The guy hardly ever naps, and even so, never this long.” He’d told you. “I dunno, (Y/N), we were about to check on ‘im when you arrived, but maybe you should be the one to. Think he’d really appreciate it.” And there was absolutely no argument from your side as you were already making your way up to the room.

You didn’t know what to expect as you neared the doorway. Could he possibly still just be sleeping? Meditating in the dark instead of his usual spot by the training area? Or... was he sick? The latter now had you concerned and you picked up your pace... Only to pause mid step when an unmistakable sound reached your ears: a sniffle.

Had it come from within his room? It was the only logical explanation as everyone else was downstairs. You were truly perturbed now as you stood outside the doorway and called out the ‘eldest’ Turtle’s name.

There was some shuffling to be heard but you were unable to tell for sure what he was doing -probably trying to neaten up his bed- “(Y/N)? Just a second, okay?” he responded in a rather awkward verging on frantic tone, and you were certain you heard another sniffle escape him.

That, along with the way he’d replied really didn’t help to put your mind at ease. “Leo, are you alright?” Nor was the pitch blackness in which he remained concealed in.

“Yeah, just... l-looking for something.” There was some more shuffling as if to prove his point, but you were having none of it.

“Then maybe this,” you began, turning around to flick the light switch, “will help?”

“No! Wait!” But it was a split second too late for as soon the brightness illuminated the entire room, you had caught the telltale signs of an emotional meltdown in progress plastered on his face before he quickly turned away and briskly wiped an arm across his face, attempting to hide the shame... or perhaps embarrassment?

“Leo...?” your heart and voice softened, “Hey, what’s wrong?” You automatically walked to him, closing the gap he was now trying to form.

“Nothing,” he lied, and acknowledged it was a fruitless attempt but still couldn’t stop himself. Autopilot panic mode was enabled now. “It’s nothing.”

Unfortunately for him, autopilot mother hen mode was activated for you as you reached with both hands to his carapace and shoulder, gently turning him to face you. “I can see that it’s something.” Your words were gentle, and you wanted nothing more than to take away his pain. “Look at me, Honey.” His body was turned but his head remained to the side. It was clear he didn’t want his obvious distress on display, even to you. “Please, Leo?” You tried again, and slowly but surely, his eyes met yours, and you felt your heart sink further.

The fabric of his mask was wet and eyes were still red with fresh tears that threatened to fall. He appeared so broken and helpless as he stared at you, and even though he uttered no words, you could practically hear him despairingly ask “Is this what you wanted? To see me at my lowest?” from his expression alone.

Never had you witnessed the leader of this band of mutant brothers cry. At times you had wondered if he ever did, and yet here he was; the incredible pillar of strength and dignity you had come to know and adore, in tears and so dejected that you couldn’t stop your own eyes from becoming damp the more you gazed at him. “Oh, Sweety...” You whispered as you felt your soul shatter. It was too much to bear. You slowly wrapped your arms around him, one around the midsection and the other over his shoulder, and buried your face into his leathery neck, offering every ounce of comfort you could muster.

It didn’t take him long at all to sink into the embrace and return the action. Beyond the point of concerning himself with showing the pain he felt -or the wetness now soaking into your shoulder when he placed his forehead against it- he sniffed and finally allowed the tears to fall once again as fresh waves of emotion surged throughout his body.

And this time, he couldn’t keep the whimpering to himself.

“Shh~ It’s okay, it’s okay,” you soothed, lightly patting and rubbing along the scutes of his shell as he weakly sobbed, finally letting go of all the sadness that gripped him.

You weren’t even aware of what was wrong, and you most likely wouldn’t find out til later once he calmed down, but right now, he just needed you to hold him. Hold him until the hurt was gone... And so you would.

AND THAT’S ALL SHE WROTE!

ALL THE FEELS!! I EMBARRASS!!

OMGosh, this turned into a monster! The mother of all HCs!! :O No seriously, this wasn’t meant to be this long! I was suppose to squish all four into one itty bitty little post, but then it just grew... and grew... and GREW! Personally, I blame the Reader Bonus but I’d be damned if I didn’t enjoy writing it! ;P You guys here on Tumblr got me slightly addicted to them and have wanted to attempt some myself so... Anyhoo~ I can’t really say if I’m entirely content with the whole thing, I dunno. I feel some parts are better than others (writing style-wise) but yeah, I really need to get back into the swing of things...

Speaking of which, I DO plan on adding my two cents on the other bois as well, but judging by how this one turned out, they’ll most likely all be this length, more or less, so each Turt will get his own post so I can really jot down those details with all the freedom in the world! That being said, I can’t say when they’ll be added but hopefully soon-ish. :) Raph's next on the list!

Thank you all so much for the read and hope you enjoyed~ :D

~Drag0n Mistr3ss’ Random Fandoms*

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musette-thornsong · 6 years ago

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Latest TMNT Lover Dream

Hears one for the fan girls out. To you girls who recently had dreams with TMNT, reblog your answers to the following questions and to anyone else for curiosity and fun:

Turtle (Leo💙, Raph❤️, Donnie💜, or Mikey 🧡?): Raph ❤️

Dream Nickname (if any): Xinmei Ruri-Lu

Dream (details please): Turtles exposed to the media and have to hide them until the heat dies down. Takes them to distant relatives summer mansion where they would be safe. Cousin Myra makes the sudden grab Raph inviting him to sleep in her room which he strangely excepts leaving me confused. For most of the summer, Raph spends most of the time with Myra while she shows him off (secretly boosting her popularity status). I catch on and confront her and Raph about to which he rebuffs. Everybody has fun leaving me in the dark except Mikey who keeps me company. I confess to him that I was falling hard for Raph which he insist I be honest. Go to do so but I overhear cousin’s plan to dump him. Threaten to tell if she didn’t but blows it off. Then go into full demon rage mode threatening to send her to hell which she reluctantly agrees to. But blows it off again when Raph shows up with rose bouquet (apparently Leo, Donnie, & Mikey made aware of my feelings and began to realize he felt the same). Cousin is about to claim the roses but makes it clear they were for me and that he’s not interested in her anymore. She gets mad jealous at being dumped revealing she only took interest to make me jealous which she fed off on. Raph puts in here place and storms off. I try like crazy to find him after the news stated that they’re whereabouts were a thing of the past. Eventually coming to the kitchen and dance room for the End of Summer dance party, Raph suddenly comes out of the party coming face to face with me awkwardly. He apologizes for letting things get where they did, hands me the roses, and prepares to walk away. I drop the bouquet and quickly grab his big hand asking nervously if he would like to dance (which he warmly accepts). We slow dance outside the dance room admitting how nice this moment felt before leaning up to kiss him. He teasingly kisses my forehead before grabbing his bandana ends pulling him down into a full-on romantic/passionate kiss telling him I loved (despite his reciprocal being denyingly silly). The turtles drag us in the middle of the dance floor playing our favorite jammin’ love song and we danced the night in each other’s arms beginning our romantic relationship before heading back to New York the next day.

Dancing (Y/N) If yes, what type?: Yes. Slow then Freestyle

Singing (Y/N) If yes, what song?: Yes. Here (In Your Arms) by HelloGoodbye

Kissing (Y/N) If yes, what kind?: Yes. Romantic/passionate

Hugging (Y/N) If yes, what kind?: Yes. Gentle and warm

Sexual (Y/N): No

Drama/Romance/Adventure/Horror/Comedy?: Drama/Romance

How did it end? Happy, Sad, Angry, Scary, or Unknown?: Happy

#tmnt 2016 #love #donnie #mikey #raph #romance #dream #tmnt dream #tmnt sex #leo

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catbowserauthor · 6 years ago

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TMNT MICHELANGELO STORY: A Single Act of Kindness 2

As for the two resident debaters...

“—understandable he’d be upset Raph!”

“Yeah, upset he can’t rub it in our faces anymore!”

“Raph, okay, so he went a little overboard—“

“A little?! He practically married that trophy-“

“BECAUSE IT MEANT I WAS WORTH SOMETHING!”

That shout sent everyone into utter and complete silence. Raph and Leo ceased their yelling and Donnie jerked so fast it was a wonder he didn’t get whiplash. All three of them turning to the source of the shout, their youngest sibling, standing rigid and still, fists clenched and trembling.

“W-what?” Donnie found his voice first. “What the shell do you mean it meant you were “worth something?!” Donnie rarely raised his voice but it was raising now. Unconsciously. He approached and took his younger brother's arm in a vice-like grip. "What do you mean?!"

Mikey finally looked up at them. Much as he wanted to just pretend this conversation never happened, much as he wanted to take back that outburst, it was done. He knew his siblings well enough to know that with something like that out in the open, they would be like little leeches. No getting out of it so just own it.

“Exactly what I said. It meant I was worth something. That I could do something right.” He yanked away from Donnie’s grip and fired at him “You think I don’t know the complete zilch I contribute to this team? Think I don’t see what little good I’m worth compared with all you?!” Don’t cry, he scolded himself. Don’t get emotional, this never ends— “Hard NOT to see it!”

His mouth really needed to start listening to his brain. Why was he doing this? He was the funny one, he was the one that kept everyone else from falling into deep depression. His job was to keep them smiling, no matter what. So, why was he failing so horribly right now? Why did just looking at Donnie and Raph send horrible memories shooting up his spine? Why couldn't he let go of this? It was an award, a position but it was silly for him to connect so much importance to it. It was silly. It was--

“I’m not strong like Raph, I’m not calm-cool-collected Master Ninja like Leo and your smarts make me look like some kind of vegetable Donnie.” He paced, begging his heart to shut up or his mouth to go numb or something but it was like a wound had been cut open. It was bleeding profusely and didn’t look to be stopping. As much as he tried to tell himself that this was silly, that he as overreacting, that he shouldn't have attached so much importance to such a simple competition, his heart had other plans and right now, it was tired of keeping that pain inside and erupted outward with that inner spiritual ache he tried so hard to cover up. “Know what it’s like with three brothers with those kinds of skills hovering over you when you grow up?” Mikey didn’t wait for a response though judging by their dropped jaws, they would have been unable to give one anyway. “I lost count of how many times I got told “why can’t you be more like Leo or Donnie? Heck, few times I needed to show more “passion” like Raph does. So....yeah, the Battle Nexus is stupid. I KNOW that.” Lord did he know that. He had known it for a long time. “You think I don’t know that first time was pure chance? I’m not an idiot!”

Idiot...how many times had he heard that word? How many times had he been called that, directly or indirectly? Did he believe it? Maybe a bit, more than he liked to believe it but on this, he hadn’t been fooling anyone, least of all himself.

“You think I don’t know if Leo had been well I’d have gotten my tail kicked?” He stopped his rapid pacing and locked eyes with his brothers. Theirs were wide and nearly frightened but Mikey's reflected only repressed inner torment finally bubbling to the surface now that it had started coming out, it was like a punch that was thrown. The energy was being unleashed and until it was done, it would not stop. “Or that if Master Splinter hadn’t withdrawn?" A few tears threatened to spill down his face and his voice caught, "And I _KNOW_ if the stupid arena hadn’t been messed with, I woulda lost to Kluh before my courage kicked in. I’m not an idiot!!”

“Mikey.” Donnie finally found his voice and that soothing reassurance spilled out like water. “We know you’re not an idiot.”

“No...just a lazy poor ninja right?” He snapped in response. Why was he getting angry? He’d grown accustomed to this thought about himself so why was it bothering him now? “Just a loud annoyance that slows you down right?” He really needed to stop yelling. Why was he yelling? C'mon mouth, turn off, turn off!

“Mikey!” It was Raph that time and despite the gruff presence that was forever in his tone, there was concern there. Deep rooted concern echoed in his voice and his strong baritone wavered a bit. He had never seen his youngest brother like this. Not ever. Mikey had always been their little bubble of optimism, of joking and if anyone was going to make fun of him, the orange banded turtle usually was best at making fun of himself.

What was this tearful, broken-hearted doubt-filled creature that looked like his little brother?

"Mikey," Raph repeated "I mean...yeah, you can be annoying but that's a little brother's job, right? I mean, heck, even Donnie here gets on my nerves sometimes." He jerked his thumb towards the purple banded turtle and under any other circumstances, Donnie would have sent him a lethal glare but right now, he went along with it. "And ya ain't an idiot."

"No," Mikey fired back. "No, I'm just someone that can't be trusted to come up with any good plans so why ask right? I'm just the one that you just need to figure out the place to shove him so that I don't cause too much damage, right?"

Leo finally spoke out, "Michelangelo, how long have you been keeping this to yourself?" His tone was firm and stern but not unkind. If anything, he looked completely lost. It was a horrible look to see on his face and guilt tore through Mikey's heart. The looks on Raph and Donnie's faces had been hard to take but Leonardo's positively killed him. There was a deepness to his eldest brother's eyes that just sucked you in and there was a vulnerability there that he made it his job to keep at bay but now, Mikey felt he had failed at that.

Just like he failed at most things.

"Doesn't do you Dudes any good to listen to me whine about what can't be changed, does it?" He countered his brother's question without directly addressing the inquiry. "So, I've just gotten used to it." He shrugged "I know I'm not gonna ever match Donnie in smarts or Raph in strength or you, Leo in ninja-ing so I figure if I can keep you all from going all emo on me, then that's good enough." He pulled from Leo's look, remarking "Sometimes all of you fall into that depressive mode so it's my job to keep that from happening. You guys are no fun like that. So, if I can make you laugh and smile, good. And if I do that by being an emotional punching bag, fine." He folded his arms, "Like I said, I've gotten used to it."

Donnie countered "That's not okay, Mikey! I mean, I wouldn't tease you like that if I knew it bugged you but you--"

"You always insult yourself first!" Raph countered. "And now you're standing here and telling us that it bugs ya but that's okay? Make up your damn mind, Mikey!"

"Raph!" Leo snapped but Mikey responded first.

"I tol' ya that it's fine, Raph!" he spat. "I'm used to it! That's my lot I guess," He laughed but it wasn't his usual laugh. There was no humor to it and even when he laughed, tears fell down his face. "I'm never gonna be good enough to match any of you. Even Sensei thinks so..."

"Now you can stop right there!" Donnie snapped, stepping forward. "We don't think that and neither does Sensei--"

"Bull." Mikey snapped back like a serpent. "He does! You all do!"

Leo stepped forward again and took his sibling in a firm grip, "Michelangelo, I don't know where you got it in your head that there's something wrong with you because there's not. You won't match us because you're Michelangelo. Just like we won't match you because we AREN'T you!"

"Thank God for that, right?" He countered and pulled from the grip, stepping to the side "Look, can we just forget this? I got all mad over something stupid. The Battle Nexus is stupid and I shouldn't have said it wasn't..."

Raph reached forward and pulled his brother back, a bit roughly, clamping both hands on his shoulders and shaking him, though lightly "Oh, shell no. We ain't doing that shit." His tone betrayed his deep concern and despite the harshness of his words, there was deep worry in his eyes, "What is it about this title, this Battle Nexus thing that makes you think you're worth something? What is it that the stupid tournament does that all your other talents don't do, huh?" There was desperation in his eyes that his family routinely did not see. "And don't you fucking say you don't have other skills, Mikey! Who's the fastest of us? Who's the most agile? Who's the one who comes up with the most off-the-wall creative ideas, huh?"

"That you don't listen to." Mikey countered. "How many times have ANY of you taken anything I've said in battle seriously? One time? And with a whole lot of incredulous looks at that." He cocked a brow at his brother's surprised look. "Oh, look, Mikey can use big words too." Groaning openly, he griped, head drooped "Look, I dunno what brought this on but can we just forget it, please? You're right, I lost, big deal..."

Donnie walked over and lay a hand on his sibling's shoulder "Well, obviously, to you it's a major deal." He bit his lower lip "Mikey, you said it made you feel like you were worth something. I...you should have felt like that anyway. We need to address this and I know you know it." He eyed him gently "That's why you're shifting between being sad and angry. You do that when you're trying to hide what you think about something--jumping between emotions."

It was something that normally people would dismiss as simply Mikey being hyperactive but his siblings had grown up with him and while Mikey did usually have multiple emotions, if he shifted between polar opposite ones, such as anger and sadness, it meant he was trying to hide something. Donnie found himself looking over the past, the times when Mikey had been calling attention to his victory and...yes, he saw it now that he thought about it. It was subtle but the shift in his eyes should have been obvious. The emotional change. How had they missed that? How had HE missed it?

Raph added as he crossed his arms, "Ya think we don't know that about you now? When Mikey shifts between emotions faster than he flips through commericals, it's because he's trying to cover something damn important." His sharp eyes softened a bit, "Something he shouldn't be."

Cursing his brothers' ability to read him so well as well as the spinning wheels he practically saw in Donnie's eyes, Michelangelo snarled, "Look, I just don't see the point. I've kept this to myself for a long time and--"

"And that's why it's coming out now." Leonardo stated simply. "You suppress anything long enough and eventually it snaps."

Groaning out loud, Michelangelo struck out emotionally, "This is why I came up here! To work through these stupid emotions without drawing you guys into it. I'm being a whiny sore loser, that's all there is to it." He backed p and said "Case closed, book over. Can we please head back down now? We're done. This is done, okay?"

"It's not." Leonardo remarked simply. "You know it and now, so do we. Can you be frank with us, Michelangelo?" He addressed his brother with an elder brother tone as opposed to his "leader" inflection. "The title of Champion obviously carries more weight for you than we knew. You said it made you feel worth something and the way you're talking now...you're totally dismissing anything important you've done as not counting..." Leonardo knew they hadn't helped with their teasing but still, to hear his sibling dismiss all his skills as not being important because they hadn't been utilized...it was haunting.

"Disqualifying the positive." Donatello said softly. "Common thought distortion." He added "And the bragging..."

Raph in particular eyed their genius brother "Somethin' else we shoulda noticed?"

Mikey chimed in before Donnie could answer "Ya did. I'm annoying with that, remember? But it's gotta stop now because I don't have that title anymore and--"

"People with low self esteem will brag and draw attention to themselves because it's the only way they feel they get recognition." Donatello admitted softly, not allowing his youngest brother a chance to divert the topic. He locked eyes with his sibling "We do know we were proud of you for that, Mikey." He was feeling like a broken record but given how they had dismissed it before, it was vital he made it clear they were proud and always had been.

Michelangelo's eyes darkened.

"No you weren't." Mikey's voice broke. It finally broke. "You were surprised. You never thought I would be able to do it. It was dumb luck, emphasis on the dumb part." He shifted his tone and Raphael winced, clearly recognizing the slur he had thrown at Mikey several times. "I should have lost. You thought it, Raphael thought it, Leo thought it. Sensei thought it." He jerked away from Donnie, stepping backward "You made that real clear."

"hey!" Raph cut in, "I mean, yeah, it kinda took us by surprise but.."

"I'm supposed to be the goof off, right?" Michelangelo challenged. "The one that gets into trouble. The one that can't think his way out of a paper bag." He froze there, bit down his emotions though it really was for naught. They were flowing, free as water right now. "You know how much it hurts to hear that from your family?" He managed to get out "With you guys, I expect it. It's a brother-thing. But..." He shook his head and his vision went blurry with tears "Father told me that. Told me that thinking was a "whole new world for me." You know how much that stung?!" He caught surprise in Leonardo's eyes a moment but by now, he was on a roll "I thought when I won the Battle Nexus Tournament, it meant I'd finally get respect from Sensei. That he might finally see that I was just as good...that there was ONE THING I outdid you guys at!"

Everyone had gone quiet.

"I thought if I got Sensei's respect that I might get you guys'." He was nearly sobbing now as much as he fought it. "I didn't though. It didn't change anything. So...I guess, the bragging was...I dunno. I guess I wanted to hear the praise from...someone." He bit his lower lip and dropped his head. "I wanted...needed to hear it. To hear I'd done somethin' right. That I was...capable of something. That's what that title means, okay? It means that I have something to offer, that I'm...that I have worth. I...I know it's a lie. I know that all the circumstances in the world went right for me not once but twice." Shuddering openly, he wanted to disappear, just fade into the earth. "I shoulda lost the second match, the rematch. By all the stupid rules, I should of lost but I didn't. So I _know_ it's a lie. It's a big fat, lie. But...it lets me pretend. I just wanna pretend to be worth something..." He clutched his fists tightly "It let me pretend..."

#tmnt 2003 #tmnt 2003 series #2003 mikey deserved better #mikey puts everyone else first #mikey is the best fighter #Mikey is deeper than he appears #low self esteem #Mikey just wants to be loved #I love Big Brother Leo

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