#tldr it's not that serious. we can all relax a little

[blueskittlesart]

deeply refreshing to see someone critical of Swift who also like, genuinely likes her. Like i'm neutral to positive on her, but the online discourse has been absolutely rancid. flipping between "Taylor Swift has never done anything wrong ever and she's a fucking genius" and "Taylor Swift is the worst lyricist of all time and also a bad person" is exhausting, so thank you for like. nuance or something lmao

not to make it serious for a sec but i genuinely think that being able to like things that are bad is really important. like I think that it's an important skill to be able to look at something and see what you personally enjoy about it and then take a step back and acknowledge that objectively it's flawed. and to also be able to acknowledge that liking something isn't necessarily an identity or a moral stance. and i think that fandom space in general could really benefit from more people taking the time to learn how to do that. it's okay to like things that are bad

[therealplaguedoctor]

Love at first bite

Max Verstappen x fem!reader

Summary- Y/n is a professional protection dog trainer, and an ex bodyguard. What happens when an old friend of hers calls in a favor: getting his friend some protection. The fans seem to love her, others not so much. Especially not her clients father. Her client enjoys her company maybe a little more then he thought after the first bite.

TLDR- a collection of series of events that ends with two people who didn't really know they were in love with each other until one confessed

Warnings- dogs and dog bites, mentions of aggressive fans, cursing, google translated dutch, Jos Verstappen, stupid warnings: author is a dumbass and pretends she knows shit(she doesnt), American spelling, I never spell check, also y/n is very badass and is kinds just built different, sorry I like writing badass characters/people, also this might be a bit ooc I'm sorry for that :/

A/n- AHHH okay so I kinda hate (hate as in thinking I could do better) and love this(?) I wish it was better written ngl but it is a oneshot so I wasn't able to go into more detail so I feel like the writing is a bit rushed sorry about that I promise I will get better in the future :,)

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BREAKING NEWS: Fomula one driver Mav Verstappen got injured after crazy drunk fan attacked him.

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BREAKING NEWS: Max Verstappen revealed that he is looking into more security in an interview

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"We're sure you've seen the questions around what happened immediately after qualifying. Can you add anything to that situation? Like with your current security?"

Max picked up the mic wanting to be anywhere but here "well I will be looking for personal security. As all the security that is normally seen around me is provided via the FIA." He said "But to speak on that manner any behavior like that should not be tolerated" he put down the mic as the interview turned to ask Lewis a question.

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After the interviews were over Max just wanted to relax and forget about the crazed fan. But before he could disappear into redbull hospitality he heard his name from a familiar voice.

"Max!" Lewis called stopping in front of him "Hey mate I think I know someone that I can call to help you with your security" he smiled

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"Stellen" (bite) you yelled at Goose, which sent him barreling towards the man with the bite sleeve. Goose launched himself up and bit down on the sleeve. The man, Tony, aggressive, shook his arm.

You felt you phone in your pocket buzz with your familiar ring tone. You pulled it out and looked at the caller ID: Sir Lewis Hamilton. You answered the call before yelling "Loslaten" (out) to Goose who immediately let go of his arm.

"Hey Lewis what's up?" You asked as you waved off Tony telling him he's good to leave.

"Hey Y/n" he said dragging out your name a little

"Lewis" you said in a warning tone "what did you do?"

"Okay one rude, I didn't do anything." He huffed "but I do need a favor?" He asked

"What's up?" You asked again "it's not like you to ask for favors"

"Well: my friend, another driver, he had a fan attack him and he needs protection cause he doesn't really have a security team"

"Lewis I can't get him a trained dog in a day" you sighed

"I know" he said "but you're still a certified body guard aren't you?" He asked hopefully

"Lewis." You said

"I know it's a big ask" he said "but I was talking with him earlier and he's willing to pay big bucks for you to be protection for him AND train him a dog." He said

You sighed knowing that he'll continue until you say yes "fine" you said "when can I set up a meeting with him?"

"Uhh I can say next week tuesday? We can do whatever time" He said "cause after this race we have a small break then it's actually race week in Miami"

"Okay Lewis, I'll find a dog for him before then, and start training" you said "if you say he's serious about this then I'll belive you"

"Thank you so much" Lewis said "I'll let him know"

"Yeah yeah, bye Lewis"

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You sat in your small office. You didn't use it much only for meeting with clients about protection dogs or getting their dogs trained, you wanted to have a atleast semi professional space due to your clientele.

A knock at the door cause you it sit up and stop spinning in your chair.

"Come in" you called.

The door slowly opened revealing a happy Lewis. Goose didn't move from his bed next to you instead looking up at the man.

"Hey Lewis" you smiled

"What's up?" He asked rhetorically as he sat in one of the chairs across from you.

Another man walked in behind him, he looked around the room as if taking it in, this must be Max the guy Lewis was telling you about.

"Hello its nice to meet you" you smiled as you stood up and extended you hand "my name is Y/n L/n"

He shook your hand "Max Verstappen" he said before sitting down

You did the same sitting in your chair "so I have been made aware that you're looking for a personal protection dog" you said "along with the fact in the mean time you're looking to hire my bodyguard services" you said as you pull up the contract you had drafted earlier on the computer.

"Uh yes that's right" the Dutch man said

"Okay" you said as you quickly checked over the document spinning your screen around so he can read it-

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After discussing the contract along with pay you both sign it. Solidifying the deal.

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"Okay so now that we have that settled" you said as you stood up "we should have you meet your new dog" you smiled "Hier" (come) Goose got up and followed you out if the room the two men behind him.

You took out the keys and unlocked the kennel for a German shepherd pup "he's still a bit young, just under a year actually" you said "but he has the basics down so it's now just bite training" you explained

Both men nodded as they watched the pup and your dog Goose interact.

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Media day, the day Max wished didn't exist. He finally got out of his car as you approached him with Goose to your immediate left.

"Good morning" you smiled "large crowd at the gates, mostly photographers only a few fans, I recommend staying on the right side as you walk into the paddock" I explained "it's mostly photographers on that side and no interviewers"

Max nodded as you talked he followed your instructions. You put on your sunglasses to block the flash of the cameras.

Max made it past the hectic paddock entrance with you right behind him Goose walking by your side.

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As Max walked through the paddock he wasn't approached by any interviewers. He could get used to that.

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Max sat down ready to record some content for the redbulls media team. You positioned yourself out of the way but with a good view of everything as well as all the entrances.

Daniel soon arrived and noticed you almost immediately sitting down he leaned over to Max and asked "who's that? With the dog?"

"Oh that's, Y/n" Max explained "She's my new bodyguard"

"She looks badass" Yuki comments scaring the shit out of both Daniel and Max "where the fuck did you come from?!" Max shouts

You quickly looked over and watched the interaction, Yuki had been up there the entire time.

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As the recording came to an end you stood from where you were leaning. Watching Checo leave, followed quickly by Daniel and Yuki who look like they needed to be somewhere. Max started towards the exit you quickly followed him.

Begrudgingly Max sat down in front of a mic that had a big 'sky sport' on it. You stood just off to the side of the camera, completely out of frame and able to watch to one side of Max as you had Goose watching behind yourself.

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As Max answered the repeat questions he finally heard the one he's been dreading:

"So Max this morning you walked in with a lady who had a dog. Care to comment about that relationship?" The interviewer asked.

"She's my bodyguard" he stated

"She's your bodyguard..?" The guy asked like he didn't just hear him

"Yes."

"If you don't mind me asking why her?"

"She was recommended by a friend." Max said nonchalantly

"Sorry let me clarify my question" the guy said. Oh no, you knew where this was going. "Why not a male body guard they're stronger no?" He asked

"Are you insinuating that just because she's a women she wouldn't be a good bodyguard?" Max asked

"Well no-"

"No it's exactly what you're doing" he said "you media people always ask the stupid questions" he hissed "that is so fu-"

He was cut off by you "Max de camera staat nog aan" Max the camera is still on.

Instead of continuing he just gets up and leaves, cutting the interview short. You follow quickly, commanding Goose to walk next to Max as you figured Max didn't want to be approached by anyone. Scary dog privileges are the best.

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He opens the door to his driver room.

"Hier, blijf" (come, stay) you quickly rattled off to Goose who quickly went to your side and stopped next to you

Max also stopped in his tracks.

"Sorry" you quickly apologized "he's trained in dutch"

Max shook his head "no need to apologize" he said and then motioned you inside "but I don't want him out in this heat please come inside" he said

You weren't gonna argue with your boss "Volg" (heel) you commanded Goose as you walked into his driver room. Max walked in right behind you.

You stood off to the side as Max sat on the couch. He quickly motioned for you to sit down. You did just that.

Goose sat at your feet between you and Max. Max was obviously still pissed at what the guy said, you could see it on his face.

"You know" Max started "I've never been a dog person" he said "I like cats more"

"Huh," you said "I've always been a dog person" you said "started with the herding dog on my family's farm"

Max nodded as you talked before asking "can I pet him?" motioning to Goose

"Oh yeah of course" you smiled "as long as we aren't in a camera shot give him all the love you want" you chuckled "gotta keep his image up of a cold blooded killer, until the media finds my insta" you chuckled.

Max smiled as he ruffled Gooses head earning a lick from the dog.

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BREAKING NEWS: Max's new bodyguard, Y/n L/n has a trained protection dog named 'Goose'. Click here to read more!

One image attached!

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You and Max finally left his driver room as he had another media appearance with another interviewer.

Max walked in front of you Goose to his left. You grabbed the door opened it for him. You followed him inside "volg" (heel left), you told Goose who then fell in step beside you to your left.

You followed Max till he sat on the couch opposite of the interviewer. Instead you stood against the wall out of view of the camera.

"Okay" the interviewer said giving the signal to start rolling "so before we start with the questions: would you want to have your bodyguard sit down?" She asked, she sounded genuine

Max then turned to you "wil je gaan zitten? ze kunnen je vragen stellen..." (do you want to sit down? they might ask you questions...)

You responded "Ik vind het niet erg om vragen te beantwoorden. Wil je dat ik ga zitten?" (I don't mind answering questions, do you want me to sit?)

"Ik vind het prima als jij dat ook bent" (I am okay with it if you are) Max said

You gave a quick nod before walking over and sitting on the couch, next to Max. Turning to Goose you said "Bewaken" (guard), causing him to lay down in front of Max.

Turning to the camera the interviewer started "Hello everyone it's Stella here!" She smiled "and I am joined today by Max Verstappen and his bodyguard..."

"Y/n" you said "and Goose" motioning to your dog.

She smiled "and today we are asking the new, the old, and the frequently asked questions." She turned to Max "okay to start off, Max we'll start with frequently asked questions: do you think you'll win the 2024 world championship?" She asked already knowing the answer.

"Of course I will" Max said "if I don't have that mindset then I have no chance"

"Moving onto the old news: China after quali" she said "most fans just do wanna know what happened and are you okay"

"Well obviously I'm okay," he said "but the fan was drunk and belligerent after I was able to take the win," he said "knowing that he was outside of the paddock I shouldn't have left but I'm lucky at the security near the entrance was able to quickly get him away" he said "he surprised me honestly" he shrugged

"Okay now onto the new: your bodyguard Y/n" she said "everyone wants to know more about her" so that's why she wanted to have you on the couch.

Max quickly turned to you "Vind je het goed om te antwoorden?" (You good to answer)

You nodded grabbing the mic he held out: "it's a bit of a story but: I was actually the dog trainer for Roscoe, Lewis Hamiltons dog," you said "I'm a well known dog trainer in Miami I have trained several dogs for a lot of celebrities. Some for protection others just to have a trained dog" you said "but anyways Lewis called me I think the day of the incident" you thought "and we talked for a second and he asked if I still had my bodyguard certification" you said "which is really just a formality but for my job before I started training dogs I was security for a large club in Miami and we needed it" you explained "so after a meeting with Max we signed a contract that is basically me being his bodyguard with Goose until I have trained a dog for him" you finished, handing the mic back to Max.

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The drive to his hotel was relatively quiet besides the soft hum of the radio.

"When we arrive at the hotel do not get out" you said "keep the door locked till I have my hand on the handle" you explained "people are crazy here especially where your hotel is located"

Max nodded as you pulled the car up

You quickly got out shutting the door opening the door for Goose then opening the door for Max. People were everywhere, people shouting, some where drunk others just crazy. You quickly led Max to the entrance of the hotel and bid him a goodbye.

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Friday and Saturday were uneventful. But Sunday was race day, the day the MOST amount of people all week.

Walking next to Max, "rechts" (heel right), Goose moved to the right side of Max you walked on his left side. You were able to easily enter the paddock.

Finally its race time you placed the dog ear muffs over Goose to protect his ears. The had just finished the formation lap. The lights turn red one by one, then all go out hearing the infamous "lights out and away we go"

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Lando Norris had won the Miami grand prix. His first win. Max was really happy for him. Wanting to go out to celebrate but not wanting to get attacked he turned to you:

"Y/n do you mind coming out tonight?" He asked "I don't want to miss Landos first win celebration, but I you know need protection" he joked

"Sure I'll baby sit you" you joked back. Little did you know that was basically what you ended up doing.

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As it was Landos first win they were going hard. You stood off to the side watching them all carefully making sure nothing happened to Max specifically. They decided to leave this bar going to the next. You follow them out walking just behind the group.

"Verstappen!" A drunken voice called, "why the fuck did you let that fuck boy win" the man slurred

Stepping between the two quickly "step back" you said firmly to the drunken man.

"What are you gonna do about it?" The man slurred

"Blaffen" (speak) you called, causing Goose to start barking aggressively grabbing his collar as he started going manic as he barked.

The man quickly backed away before almost bolting down the street you shook your head "foei" (no), Goose immediately stopped "Bewaken" (guard) he stood next to Max ready to start walking again

"We're good" you said to him and the group

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Luckily nothing else happens that night. But not as lucky Max was beyond wasted. You were able to get him into the car and buckled him up shutting the door. You open the back door for Goose having him jump in. You got in and started driving realizing that you only knew where his hotel is and not his room you decide to drive to your house.

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Getting him into your house was an adventure. He was basically a dead weight, after an insane amount of effort you got him onto the couch in your living room and threw a blanket on top of him. Placing some advil and water on the coffee table next to him.

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As the job progressed and Max's new dog got trained many races were uneventful. The media attention on both of you had died down to what it was before Max got attacked. You are featured in some clips and interviews just answering the odd question or pulling Max away to get him out of range of anything dangerous. That is your job anyways.

The only big changes was social media: you stopped posting after getting a substantial amount of followers. People still comment on your old posts asking when your next post is. And the edits.. People are making edits of you and Goose being badass and it honestly makes you happy seeing all those cool edits. You'd take it to your grave but you love watching them in you bed late at night when you can't sleep.

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It was the Austrian grad prix. Lando and Max had gotten into it on the track causing Lando to get a dnf, and Max to drop to 5th place. He stormed off disappearing before you could catch up to him.

You eventually find him sitting in one of the chairs looking at the ground, with his helmet still on. As a man you don't recognize yells at him.

"Hey!" You shout storming over "back away from him"

The man with anger in his eyes glanced at you but went back to yelling at Max. Ypu quickly said "Blaffen" (speak) to Goose, he started barking at the man

"Get back" you commanded again

Finally he looked at you "Do you know who I am?" He asked all proud

"I don't fucking care who you are" you snapped "step away from my client" you said firmly

He turned back to Max and began yelling in Dutch to fast and angry for you to make it out. You were about to intervene again until the man raised his hand as if to strike Max

"Stellen, stellen" (bite, bite) you quickly commanded Goose letting go of his collar. The dog jumped up and bit the raised arm the force sending the man to the ground.

As this is happening Max watched it, he looked up just as you called for Goose to bite his father.

You followed your dog holding the man to the ground before commanding "Loslaten" (let go) Goose dropped the now bleeding arm. "Bewaken" (Guard), Goose stood in front of Max now defensively.

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Security arrived with medical and as they treated the dog bite you explained to them what happened pointing the the cameras around as well as a fan that recorded the entire interaction on his phone.

After a bit of talking and reviewing security bid you a goodbye and left. Citing that you were doing you job.

You then sat down next to Max who still hadn't taken off his helmet. "Who was that anyways?" You asked him as you quickly cleaned the blood off of Goose.

"My dad" he said muffled from the helmet

"Oh" you responded

"Yeah" Max said

The air filled with awkward silence before you said "let's get you back to the drivers room to cool down you still have interviews" Max just nodded making his way to his drivers room. You follow him inside Goose quickly settled by the door as you went to Max who sat on the couch with his helmet still on.

Reaching over you unclipped it and took it off, placing it on the table. Max took off his balaclava throwing it next to the mask.

"Sorry" you said "about your dad"

"I- no- uh" he groaned frustrated "You're fine you were just doing your job" he said a little snippy. He didn't want it to come out like that but it did.

You just nodded as he talked listening before saying "okay we gotta have you head to the media pen before someone yells at us and you get a fine" you said standing up

Max just nodded and followed you out if the drivers room.

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Media was done and all Max wanted to do was go back to the hotel. You don't blame him you'd want that too.

After the media pen Max was almost a shell of himself. So just to make sure he's okay you walked inside the hotel and got him to his room, you also needed to talk about earlier. When he opened the door to his hotel room and motioned you inside you were quick to oblige.

The room was nice it was similar to one of those one bedroom apartments just minus a kitchen.

Max settled down on the small couch letting out a sigh.

You just stood a bit awkwardly as Goose sat down next to Max's feet earning a few pets from the Dutch man.

"We gotta talk about today" you said breaking the silence

Max groaned "Do we have to...?" He asked

"I mean yeah" you said "Goose bit your father" you said "I'm sorry I didn't-" before you could continue he interrupted you

"You were doing your job" he said "you had no clue what he could have done or actually what he was going to do" Mac explained "you did what you thought was best to protect me. Which is your job" he leaned back on the couch and then muttered to Goose "thank you"

You ran through the situation in your head again. Jos, which you learned was the man's name, was actually going to hit Max.

"He was actually going to hit you wasn't he?" You asked him

Max stayed silent that's all the answer you needed

"Well now I wish I didn't tell Goose to let go"

Max cracked a smile, "thank you" he said this time looking up at you.

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Both you and Max were in his driver room. It was media day for the British Grand Prix, but Max had been waiting to hear back about his next interview as the time.kept changing. You thought that they just wanted to keep him here as long as possible.

Max was watching the small TV as he sat next to you on the couch. You were on your phone just scrolling through some random social media apps. Goose was laying down by the door.

While both of yall were waiting Max fell asleep next to you. Because of the way he was sitting when he fell asleep he was leaning against your shoulder. Eventually you fell asleep too.

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Later you slowly wake up but are held in place by some strong arms. You blink awake adjusting to the light. You laid on your side on the couch and where held in place by a sleeping Max. You tried to move to get up but were just pulled right back down. Giving up rather quickly you went back to sleep.

Max gently shook you awake. "Hey Y/n" he said softly, "we should head back to the hotel" he was blushing but it was kinda hard to tell in the lighting

You just nodded as I slowly got up and stretched quickly gathered you items.

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BREAKING NEWS: Max and Y/n seen leaving the drivers room late at night. What does this say about their relationship: Professional? Friendly? Or is there more?

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"Mate you're all over the news" Lewis said to you on the phone as you got ready

"What do you mean?" You asked as you got ready

"You and Max were spotted leaving his drivers room late last night, together." Lewis explained

"Fuck."

"Yeah" he said "I'm at the track already and people are asking me about it"

"What have you been saying?" You asked leaving the hotel room Goose at your side

"I've been saying: I don't know the relationship, and that uh you're his bodyguard so whatever he was doing in the room you have to be there cause when he leaves you have to make sure nothing happens and shit"

You sighed "thank you Lewis" you said as you opened the car door for Goose and shut it before getting in yourself, and starting the car.

"It's no problem" the brit said "but are you two...you know..?"

"God Lewis!" You said "no we're no fuck buddies"

He just laughed "come on you knew I had to ask"

"I'm hanging up now" you said ending the call.

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After collecting Max from his hotel and you started driving.

"You seen the news?" You asked

"I have yes" an uncomfortable silence filled the car before you spoke

"Lewis said that he's been telling media that cause I'm your bodyguard I have to be with you basically 24/7 so we can just stick with that" you said "I mean it is the truth"

"Yeah" he nodded quickly, he didn't know that you knew he was cozying up to you on that small uncomfortable couch.

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Media was lovely that day and respected both of you- said no one ever.

Several times you had to yell at people to back up or even push a few people away. And media was eating it up:

BREAKING NEW: Y/n L/n 'defends' Max Verstappen from media is it more than just bodyguarding?

BREAKING NEWS: Y/n L/n pushes away journalists, bodyguard or overprotective girlfriend?

BREAKING NEWS: Y/n L/n thought to be more than just a bodyguard, is Max taking the 'body' out of bodyguard?

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The last title made you gag how does that get approved? It doesn't actually bother you to much but it's gross.

You sat on that uncomfortable couch reading the news, almost every single station had something about you two leaving the drivers room late, or about you pushing away journalists.

You let out an annoyed huff tossing your phone on the small coffee table. Max leaned over a bit to look at it.

"Why are you looking at that shit?" He asked

You just shrugged

The last articles name caught his eye he double checked "what the actual fuck" he hissed "this is bullshit, why the fuck would the title an article this" he was pissed. You don't know entirely why they weren't saying anything about him.

"I don't know" you just shrugged

"You aren't mad at this?" He asked before continuing "It doesnt matter, I'm going to go punch the fucker who wrote the article" not wanting him in any legal trouble, mostly cause you knew he would punch the guy, you stood up and quickly blocked the door.

"Nope" you said simply "the article title is just that: an article title. I know it's not true you know it's not true so why does it matter" you asked

"It's disgusting" he said "they shouldn't talk about you-"

You cut him off "exactly! Me they are only talking about me in a bad light so why do you car so much?" You asked a little ticked that he was still trying to get passed you

"Because I care about you okay!" He confessed "I know it's dumb, you're my bodyguard and I-" he was cut off by a kiss.

You didn't know how but you ended up kissing him. He quickly reciprocated grabbing your chin pulling you closer.

As you both broke the kiss catching your breath you rested your foreheads against eachother looking into his eyes you smiled.

"When did you fall for me?" He asked

"When we cuddled on that uncomfortable couch" you smiled he blushed

"I didn't know you were awake for that" he said softly

You chuckled softly "when did you fall for me?" You asked

"It was love at first bite" He said "when you were protecting me from my father."

Then they fu-

Fin.

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[fandomfrenzysworld]

Please read the notes for context.

Notes: For starters, Mercy Gone Wrong belongs to @faery-the-diamond. They've stated before that their AU does not contain Narilamb and wouldn't intentionally have it happen. But my brain wouldn't stop asking about how they ever could end up in a relationship. And thus, I wrote this little fanfic to finally silence those thoughts. This takes place in a future where Lambert has escaped the crown. (How? Don't know. Doesn't really matter for the fic.)

Notes TLDR; Not my AU, not a canon ship for the AU. Narilamb fanfic that takes place in the future.

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Lambert shivered as he walked through the cult grounds. The early onset winter winds were making him regret his usual decision of outfit. He held his cloak shut, trying to block any winds he could. After his final round of the cult, making triple sure everything was taken care of, at least as well as things could be in this place, he was ready to get back to his house and warm up.

My house, Lambert thought, slightly grimacing once he realized who would be waiting there. That stupid three-eyed cat with his cocky grin, higher than thou attitude, and-

"Let me guess, it's much colder outside than you figured it'd be this morning?" Narinder asked as Lambert walked in, not even bothering to look away from his book.

Lambert usually would've scolded Narinder for the comment but found himself thanking his roommate's fascination in reading. Nainder was laying down on the floor in front of an already raging fireplace, giving the lamb a clear look at his usually prim and pristine posture being replaced by a more casual and relaxed one. That's where the thoughts came back.

Lambert blushed. For the past few months, he'd been seeing Nainder in a different light. One of someone who could be more than just a companion, one of a partner. His frustrations from these thoughts snapped him from them. He took off his cloak and folded it up.

"Yeah, yeah. You're the all-knowing Narinder who can never be wrong," Lambert said.

"I lived in snowy mountains for the majority of my life. I know a thing or two about predicting when the weather is going to turn south," Narinder corrected.

Lambert just rolled his eyes as he set his cloak down, walking over to join Narinder in front of the fire. The cat sat up and shut his book, preparing to speak with Lambert.

"So, what are we going to do for the cult during the winter this time?" Narinder asked.

"Oh no, don't let me get in the way. You're the one who knows this stuff so well," Lambert said sarcastically. "But being serious, I trust you in this department. You've improved a lot of our preparations so far, so just keep up the good work."

"Aww, I'm touched," Narinder said half sarcastically as he gave Lambert a light punch to the shoulder. He was fairly shocked when Lambert actually winced from it and started to rub the area. "Umm, are you okay?"

"Yeah, just been struggling with a bit of stiffness today. Maybe it's the weather?" Lambert mused.

"Want me to help you relax?" Narinder offered.

Lambert looked at his previous employer with a bit of confusion, a faint blush coming to his cheeks from the less-than-optimal wording. Thankfully his wool made it hard to see.

"C-Come again?" Lambert asked.

"Do you want me to help you relax? Your stiffness is actually probably from the weather. So, working the stiff areas and applying heat will help them loosen," Narinder explained.

"Oh..." was all Lambert could get out at first. "Umm, yeah, sure. What should I do?"

"Just turn around and try to follow my lead," Narinder said.

"Promise this won't turn into acupuncture?" Lambert said as he turned.

Narinder sighed and decided to ignore that comment. He cracked his knuckles to loosen them up and grabbed Lambert's shoulder, getting a surprised bleat from the lamb in front of him.

"W-What are you-?!" Lambert stammered as his cheeks turned rosy red.

"Easy. Keep your shoulders loose. I said was working the stiff spots, didn't I?" Narinder said.

"I-I thought you meant shoulder rolls and stuff," Lambert reasoned.

"Do you want me to stop?" Narinder asked.

"...no," Lambert said.

With that, Narinder began to press into Lambert's stiff muscles, using firm but gentle motions to work the area. His paws were extremely warm, sending small shudders through Lambert's body as his shoulders started to loosen up.

During this, Lambert began thinking about his feelings towards Narinder again. Ever since they started finding common ground, his perspective slowly shifted from anger, to tension, to comfort, and eventually even what he'd call friendship. But as the weeks started to move by, he found his heart was not keen on stopping where his head did. Slowly but surely their usual greeting to one another started to make his heart flutter. Even when he had thoughts about Narinder's less than desirable personality quirks, one glace at those three eyes made him not care. Like those flaws didn't matter or were worth toughing it out. He'd gone from someone he couldn't stand, to someone he wasn't sure he could be without. And now that same person was grabbing at his shoulders and helping to ease a burden. A temporary one, but one he was still taking time to help with.

"Alright, how's that?" Narinder asked, his voice snapping Lambert from his trance.

"Ah, yeah, that's a lot better," Lambert said as he turned back around. He found himself considering Narinder's posture again. In public the cat carried himself to be ready to react to anything, all in an effort to not ruin his image. It was almost as if he viewed social interactions as a battle that he needed to be ten steps ahead of. But when it was just the two of them, Narinder relaxed, let his shoulders drop. He wasn't tensed in preparation for anything. If Lambert had wanted to, he could close the distance in an instant, exploiting Narinder's vulnerability to prank or do something to fluster him.

"Hey, you still with me?" Narinder asked. "You're kind of just star-mph!"

Lambert had gone in for the kill. Metaphorically speaking. He kissed the black cat. Spurred on by the comfortable and soothing atmosphere, he let his heart get before him again. Once he realized what he just did, his eyes went wide and he pulled away.

"Ah! I'm sorry! I don't know what came over me, I just-!" Lambert shouted, trailing off when he heard Narinder start laughing. Then he caught sight of that stupid cocky smile on Narinder's face. "What's so..."

"I was wondering when you were gonna make your move. Though that was a lot bolder than I was expecting, I'll give you that," Narinder said.

Lambert sat there in disbelief, mouth agape. Soon enough his shock turned to anger, and his stare turned to a scowl. "You knew?!" he asked.

"Lambert, I've been alive for thousands of years. Had countless people develop feelings for me and confess to me. I started to pick up on signs a long, long time ago," Narinder explained.

"So you just let me sit there with my feelings bubbling up instead of talking to me?!" Lambert complained.

Narinder's smile faded as he sighed. "Honestly, I was thinking over my own feelings," he admitted.

Lambert's anger faded, taking the wind out of his sails.

"We've come a long way from how we used to see each other. And I got scared that maybe I was reading you wrong. I didn't want to be the one who made the first move. I guess I was scared I'd damage what we have. I could accept you not having feelings for me, but I couldn't stand the thought of going back to before. Of losing you and being alone," Narinder explained.

"Well, I guess we both had our reasons then..." Lambert said meekly. "I just wish mine were as good as yours."

Narinder raised an eyebrow at that.

"All cards on the table, I couldn't bring myself to confess because I was scared of what others would think. My followers, the people we talk to...and my people," Lambert admitted.

Narinder tensed. He knew Lambert didn't take discussions about his people lightly.

"I mean, what would they think if I brought them back and then told them that I was in love with the person they were put to the blade over? Would I be outcast, forced to leave you, face ridicule for being a disgra-ah!" Lambert ranted, only stopping once Narinder grabbed both sides of his face.

"I don't know. I know I don't care, but I also know you do. That's why I think we should take this slow. Figure out our feelings together without rushing into anything, and take it one step at a time," Nainder explained, trying to ease Lambert's worries.

"Uh...yeah, one step at a time. That sounds...nice," Lambert said.

Narinder let go and picked his book back up. He figured Lambert would need a little bit to process. He knew he couldn't change the lamb's mind, he learned that the hard way a long time ago.

He jumped a little bit when Lambert leaned into him, staying close as to not be completely alone with his thoughts. Narinder was happy to oblige, wrapping his arm around Lambert and holding him through the night.

------------------------------------------

Wow, I really got into this. This was pretty fun to write. Hopefully it wasn't too cringy or cheesy.

[desultory-novice]

for some odd reason, i can't help but find mirror marx/narx kinda hot, and i am very embarrassed about that.

You know, someone tagged him as "Sans Marx" (which made me laugh soooo hard) so maybe that's a part of it? XD

There is something about a character who is both extremely powerful but also very laid back. Also he's got that eyes-always-closed charm! Plus, who doesn't look good in black?!

For a slightly more serious answer:

You really don't have to feel embarrassed about it. According to Scott McCloud, one of the reasons cartoon characters are simplied is so that we have an easier time seeing ourselves or others in them! A few of us are told we look like X real life actor but not too often.

Now, someone who's just little guy with a ball-shaped body and eyes and (sometimes) a mouth? "Hey, I've got those things too!" It's not like you're admitting to finding an inanimate basketball hot! XD

When you combine the inherit sympathy involved in the design of a simplified character and then start throwing on traits like the "powerful/relaxed" or "fox eyes" or having them sing, that will inevitably make them...kind of attractive, yeah!

And they can be "attractive" without that automatically equalling "I want to date them in real life!" (Plus there are certain traits that might only really be attractive in fiction/made more attractive, like a sense of danger about a person or a mind caught in a tempest.)

Everyone has tropes in character designs they find "attractive!" White hair. Violet eyes. Long vampire cloaks. Long boots. These are just some of the traits I see pop up again and again because they WORK for people. I wasn't joking when I said everyone looks good in black. The mirror worlders so far all have a palette of desaturated grays and the occasional bright red. It's a GOOD palette and is gonna make some fancy-looking characters!

Heck, I'm certain that when I'm working on designing a character, I'm including some of my favorite design tropes to make them "attractive" to me. Scarves and gloves? Yes, plz, more, thx!

I can even say with Mirror Marx that I set out to draw him so he'd look pretty neat! I picked some of my favorite things to work into his design and when the sketches were done, I nodded satisfied.

So, tldr, not weirded out and thank you for the compliment!

[disease-danger-darkness-silence]

Yo, I'mma come in as someone who was a professional domme a lifetime ago (I wasn't a sexual domme, but I was still considered a sex worker, so while I'm familiar with CNC as an SA victim, it's not my domme kink). I enjoy helping people and derive a lot of pleasure from it (all the gals call me a service top these days), but I hate hurting people.

The difference, for me, was the trust and control aspects.

I had very little control in my personal life at the time. Being able to exert control in a safe environment was immensely fulfilling. It wasn't about pain, it was about control.

But even more important was the trust placed in me.

The trust placed in lil' old me by men and women in power. The trust to stop if they safeworded, the trust to not go to far, the trust to not abuse my position, the trust to take care of them (before, during, and after).

Trust from powerful people, when you are anything but, is intoxicating. Trust from anyone is intoxicating, honestly. It's intoxicating and serious and powerful. An honor, and treated as such.

The trust was placed in me because I was a professional sadist. I'm a switch by nature, so I had an inherent understanding of the sub mindset as well. An untrained and unreserved sadist may have been cheaper, but more dangerous - because I understand having control taken away and how bad it can feel once it goes too far. All of that is just... So amazing. I would have protected it with my life, because I cherished it so much.

Remember, I was a fetishist, but BDSM is not inherently sexual, and I did not have sex with or do sexual things to my clients.

Some of my clients liked physical pain. I don't like hurting people, but when the hurt becomes pleasure, that's a little different, isn't it? The pleasure and pain receptors are one and the same, and the body and mind will twist them sometimes.

Some of my clients also wanted less intense things: being tied up and tickled, or even just tied up and deprived of vision for an undetermined length of time.

One client liked me to dress as mom (a whole 50s outfit, complete with a lil apron and a wig) and he dressed as baby. It wasn't sexual, it was about mentally regressing to a simpler time. He was a politician and liked being able to return to a time where he didn't have to make decisions. I changed his diaper sometimes: he was never hard, I was never aroused. He just wanted someone to take care of him like a mother would.

Other ones liked the degradation of being naked and chained, and they may have derived sexual pleasure from it, but it was not something I was interested in and they knew it.

I needed the illusion of control. If inflicting pain on people who wanted pain inflicted on them would achieve that, then so be it, but I only enjoyed it because they did. Otherwise, I would have been disgusted.

Before sessions we engaged in long discussions on what they hoped to achieve, in a judgment-free environment. Some of them hoped for an orgasm, and that was fine. I was an EMT and was not afraid of bodily fluid cleanup. But many of them just wanted to relax. To feel loved and cherished and cared for, and not have to make decisions.

I never fell in love with my clients. But during our sessions, I did love and cherish them, and I did care for them. They got what they wanted, I got what I wanted.

I didn't want to harm any of them. I wanted them to feel good.

I think @skyla-radfeminist does not grasp the difference between an actual dom/me and like, American Psycho - a sociopath that has sadistic tendencies. And that's a damn shame, because I've been so overwhelmed with the trust someone places in me that afterward, I've cried. My clients afforded me some of the most rewarding moments of my life.

And I'm a trauma victim. BDSM is one of my trauma responses - as a sexual assault victim, as a domestic violence victim, as a victim of poverty, etc.

I guess the TLDR of this is:

1. Not all doms are into inflicting pain. There are a million types of doms.

2. Even if inflicting pain is the kink, most doms would be horrified to inflict unwanted pain, because they're aware of what that is like. It's just an inversion of their actual circumstances.

3. Doms are usually dealing with a lot of trauma too, and they don't want to inflict their trauma on anyone. That's why we all, in the community, live and die by safe, sane, and consensual. Because we've all had our consent trod upon at one point or another, and none of us wants anyone to experience that.

Ever.

@skyla-radfeminist

You've replied several times to me in a truncated notes thread. The notes system on tumblr is very pooly organized for coherent threading; I can see your replies in my notifications but I cannot find them to see them in their entirety. I'm asking for you to please reblog this post, copying and pasting what you've said in the notes. These specific ones:

I cannot find these comments in the thread and would like to read the ends of these statements and respond to them here.

[newtonsheffield]

Hello! It’s me again, back on your blog for some serotonin 😁 first of all, I have a very serious question: how in the world can you crank out long fics, headcanons, and be a kickass healthcare professional?? As someone who is about to graduate and become a healthcare professional, you’re my role model tbh

Second, could I get some headcanons or a drabble about Benedict and Sophie at Kanthony’s wedding? Maybe Benedict explaining why he’s constantly in bed with his brother’s wife. Or Sophie insisted she has to get back to work, so Benedict refuses to leave her side. All of the siblings being so excited that Kate found Sophie so Benedict can shut up about her (though we know he never will). Basically a continuation of where Enchanted left off. Sophie is my favorite and I just want her to have all of the happiness, especially in this world you’ve created 🥺

(Also my name is Abby, figured you should know because I’m going to be in your inbox a lot. I’m sorry in advance. Please tell me when you need me to stop flooding your asks 😂)

Abby! Hello! So nice to meet you! 

I have a very serious answer to you very serious question which is: Abby, my dude, my pal: I don’t have a life.😂😂Here’s the thing about me: I don’t generally enjoy the company of other people. I’m an extreme introvert for the most part and I spend all day talking to people in my job, or at them really, They tend not to be able to respond when you have your hands in their mouth. So... Healthcare is kind of...exhausting and so it’s good to have a hobby to lighten the mood And this is mine! I’m an... odd person probably, I think. You’d have to ask someone that’s met me. So I usually just hang out with my cat (Diana, Lady Supreme) and bake (I make a very nice sourdough loaf). 

So TLDR: Being an introvert leaves you with a lot of free time and if you’re going to work in healthcare you are gonna need to find something to relieve stress. So as you can see, the thought of me being a role model to any person is laughable tbh.   😂😂 Ya girl’s a mess, one only needs to glance upon my instagram to see that! 

But also: What are you studying?! Healthcare can be rewarding but it is also a difficult job! 

Anyway! Sophie Beckett! A precious cinnamon roll tbh! Shall we check in with her immediately after Enchanted ended?!

 When she looked back on it now, Sophie was willing to say the 15 minutes after she was shoved into the Marquee at Aubrey Hall were, very... confusing. Benedict was there, and for the first time in her life she’d reached out and been selfish, taken what she wanted for herself. And his lips against hers had felt ridiculously right, and then everything had been a little overwhelming. As a ludicrously imposing man tapped on her shoulder, his arm wrapped tightly around the waist of his equally intimidating new wife and said possibly the last thing she’d ever expected him to say.

“I’m so glad to meet you! Maybe now I can stop finding Benedict in bed with my wife!” And he’d laughed brightly, as had Kate to Sophie’s very great surprise. And she could feel everyone’s curious eyes on her, and her cheeks were burning and she had to remind herself to breathe, despite Benedict’s hand tucked neatly in hers. 

“I um... I should... go back to work.” Sophie said awkwardly after several seconds. And Anthony looked a little sheepish as Kate said “Don’t let Anthony scare you off Sophie, he’s secretly a big softie.” But the statement did nothing to quell the panic rising in her chest. even as she said “And Mrs. Gibbons has refused to let you back in the kitchen tonight I’m afraid.”  Sophie tried to force a smile, she could feel Benedict’s eyes watching her closely as he said, “I’m afraid, that I’m going to have to cut out on your wedding a little early.” He said gently, and then with a smirk on his face that did funny things to Sophie’s heartbeat he said “Congrats Kate, You’ll realise you should have married Greg over this prim idiot.” And then he tugged on Sophie’s arm leaving Kate laughing happily behind them, and a different man’s voice, close by Lucy saying, “Is that who I think it is?”  

As soon as they were out of the marquee Sophie could breathe easier. Long deep breaths pulling into her chest.  “I haven’t... slept with Kate you know.” Benedict’s voice cut through the air after several seconds, And Sophie let out a surprised splutter at the bluntness of the subject, though she wasn’t exactly surprised by the statement. She raised her eyebrows. “I sort of assumed as much?” And Benedict seemed to relax, exhaling sharply, and she couldn’t risk teasing him, just a little, the familiar pattern of them, standing close outside a wedding coming back to her.  “While I don’t doubt your obvious charms Ben, Kate seems very much in love with your brother.” Benedict rolled his eyes for a moment before looking seriously back at her. “It seems... pretty obvious at this point that Kate was looking for you. And you deserve to know why.” And Sophie’s breath caught, and despite the fact she wanted to avert her eyes, she forced herself to maintain eye contact. 

“I have driven my entire family absolutely insane for the last 12 months, talking about you. Edwina walked off a shoot because I wouldn’t stop talking about you, I was making her life hell apparently. I’d go out every Friday and look for you. And every Saturday I’d have breakfast with Kate and she’d listen to me complain that I hadn’t been able to. That’s how much I wanted to find you Sophie.” He laughed at the end his eyes shining at her and tears pricked at her eyes, an apology clawing its way from her chest. “I’m sorry that I-” She started Benedict shook his head, his arms wrapping around her tightly. “I don’t care Sophie, you’re here now and that’s all I care about. But I’m not letting you out of my sight tonight, Cinderella.” 

And laughter bubbled up inside her chest as he tugged her further away from the marquee.      

[scarfacemarston]

Trigger warning -  Discussion of Covid-19 Pandemic. Will also be tagged as such!

Anon, you really are asking the heavy hitters today. lol This is NOT based on who I like or don’t like. This is based purely on personality.

So none of us knew back in December/January/Feb/March/ whatever what the hell this pandemic was going to be. I myself remember thinking /hoping it would go away. I think everyone was shocked by the pandemic and how serious it became. I am always pessimistic about the government, but I didn’t think it would get this bad.

TLDR: Hosea being ill and his age is a catalyst for how the rest of the gang reacts. If Arthur is sick - same thing.  If they don’t comply with the rules, then they aren’t allowed to see Arthur or Hosea. Other characters who strictly follow the rules refuse to interact with those who don’t take it seriously. 

From the start: Miss Grimshaw, Abigail, and Hosea are the first to worry. is already weary. Miss Grimshaw is always prepared for anything - to a certain extent. She and Hosea are old enough to have lived through other events. Miss Grimshaw has high standards. Hosea has his experience and keeps up on the news. Modern AU Abi has Jack and her daughter. She’s fiercely protective to the point some may consider overly protective. She also seems to have a strong gut feeling type of thing.

Second batch to notice: John can’t help but notice because he lives with Abigail. Plus, Modern AU works in a mechanic shop and hears about it from his customers. He was a little more relaxed at first, but went with Abigail’s wishes anyway, when it reached the US, he definitely stepped it up because he knew his daughter could be more vulnerable. Charles, Lenny and Tilly are the main ones who notice it. They are the most logical in the gang along with Hosea. Also, People of Color or Characters of color if you prefer, do not have the luxury to ignore these type of emergencies. (Or any really.) There are HUGE health disparities when it comes to BIPOC communities from accessing health care in the first place, to finding equipped hospitals, doctors who will listen to them, cost and having doctors understand that BIPOC sometimes have different systems. (Like what bruising looks like.). Strauss is also  aware because he reads the news a lot. Trelawny keeps his ear to the ground. He’d know something was up. Swanson is in the same boat meeting people and is panicking.

Lenny, Charles and Tilly are cautiously watching and preparing. Strauss is panicking. Kieran doesn’t like the news, but he has friends he chats with who tell him things.  He notices before Mary-Beth and is starting to prepare. 

All of them realize the gravity of the situation and while they struggle with the changes, they take them seriously.

Third Batch: Arthur - if he has TB or has a similar illness - He would be in the first batch because Hosea’s top priority is making sure Arthur is safe because of his condition, then the rest of the gang and because he’s selfless, himself. If Arthur DOES NOT have TB, then I think it’s different. Arthur, Javier, Mary-Beth, Molly, Dutch all find of treat it as -Oh that won’t come here. Not where we live. They’re wrong. When they do hear it’s coming, they do start to take it seriously, but only think it’s short term. They struggle a bit more. Javier and Mary-Beth are social people so the isolation sucks more for them. Mary-Beth is panicking more. Molly is as well. Dutch definitely knows at this point, but we’ll get to him later. Both girls are trying their best to prepare, but Mary-Beth is really struggling. Molly does okay, believe it or not. Arthur enjoys the isolation. Sadie is different in that she was living and working in an isolated area so I HC she didn’t hear of it until later.However, I can see her taking it a bit more seriously than some of the others. Dutch: He heard about it the same time as Hosea, but he thought Hosea was essentially panicking over nothing. He ignored a lot of warnings before it came to its area. He took a more libertarianism stance  at first -  but when their community was hit - he followed guidelines because he loved Hosea and Arthur more. Hosea would make this a “Follow the Rules or I’m leaving you” type of deal. Dutch would absolutely complain and may talk shit - especially about the government.

 Dutch and Hosea following guidelines would set a better example for the fourth batch. Fourth: Sean, Micah, Pearson, Karen, Bill Williamson, Uncle,

At first, they all think it’s a hoax. They don’t believe it will be a serious thing at all even if it is real. I think these people would be the least willing to following the guidelines. I think most of them would follow it to an extent - but complain about it the whole time.  Sean and Karen struggle because they really want to go out and have a good time. Javier wants to as well, but he is a bit more mature than they are.  Those who didn’t comply had to stay away from the rest of the gang.

Uncle is a wild card - part of me thinks he should be in the third batch because he isn’t stupid - he has wisdom. He knows he’d be in a vulnerable group. The other part of me isn’t sure. Maybe he’d take it as a hoax until th e last minute? Abigail and John would be furious and I think they’d make an ultimatum first.  General life HC: Realistically - Very few of them can afford to not work. Hosea and Dutch are the only ones who can afford it. Sadie works by herself. Abigail works from home. but she’s also having to oversee the schooling as well. The rest work outside of the house in various ways. They try to keep up through Skype because Dutch hates Zoom. Some of them agree with him. They do try to meet up in their front yards and sit on lawn chairs, but now that it’s cold, they can’t do that as much.

[dcwnhardin]

dawn hardin. 40. he/him. district 7 the capitol. stylist to district 7.

just let me cry a little bit longer i ain't gonna smile if i don't want to hey, man, we all can't be like you i wish we were all rose-colored too my rose-colored boy

full bio / playlist / pinterest / skeleton

tldr: say hello to your new dad! adopted from seven by a famous capitol thruple when he was about six, this little child didn’t know how the hell to fit in right with the capitolites, but he sure did try his best! his parents’ grand plan was always for their bb boi to be a stylist so they forced that on him even tho he sucks at it. all he really wanted was to be able to choose his own path and find his own people, have a nice lil family. he fell in love w a lady named io, they planned to do just that, and ofc it got RIPPED AWAY, bye io, bye any chance at having kids. obviously that was devastating, but instead of being deep rested or bitter, he doubled down on caring as a radical act of defiance, really sees each and every tribute that comes thru seven as his kid, is there to be ur Stability through the hard times. he’s as ready as anyone to see the capitol get fucked for causing so much pain. but he still sucks at being a stylist sadly.

PLOT POINT VIBES

quell announcement

With the Quell announcement, he wasn’t actually afraid of being sent into the arena, even though it was clear that other people were afraid for him. He was more concerned about the large number of victors he cares for deeply, the very thought of any of them facing the same trauma again horrifying in a way he had never considered. He’s shaken, which is rare, was at some horrible party his parents were throwing for the announcement when it happened, and certainly left immediately to start trying to contact those he cares for, hoping to provide support, but also maybe in need of a little himself. He’s a bit of a mess, probably makes plans to head to Seven as soon as possible, wishing that he had a work-related excuse to make a stop in Two, before, but knowing that would be playing with fire at a time when caution was needed more than ever.

the reaping

The reaping itself was just as horrifying. Perhaps the first time he’s been glad to be stylist and not escort, for how terrible pulling those names from the bowl was to witness. It’s never easy, but this was a new brand of terrible. He was shocked to see Harbor chosen, reappearing alive, but clearly broken, and the image made him think of Io, wondering if she had had to endure the same, the pain even greater. He resolves to do everything he can to help, do more than what he can this year, if it stands a chance at stopping this madness. When it all goes to shit, he tries to stop both Blythe and Twig, but in the chaos it’s not possible, probably received some minor injuries himself trying to help but being a Capitol Weenie™. Lots of tears, lots of shouting, lots of feeling helpless and hating it, wanting desperately to stop the pain.

train hijacking

During the hijacking, Dawn was pretty much on make sure no one loses their mind duty. The big focus was of course on Seven, and not only trying to keep Blythe from literally killing anyone while injured, but also helping Twig look after Harbor. It’s a good distraction to keep from worrying himself sick over the people on the other train. There was a big amount of hopefulness that came with the rebel announcement, but it was cautious, because he’s seen first hand what the Capitol can do, and they all just got another taste of it with the reaping, so he maybe wasn’t quite as ready as some of the others to jump into action, instead playing a more passive role of support. Lots of making tea for people, lots of quiet talks, and hugs, a few jokes here and there, but nothing distasteful. For once, trying to keep the hope alive, while still tempering it, because he’s an optimist by choice, not by nature, he knows too well how cruel the world is. So he’s not surprised when...

the arrival

They make it to the Capitol a-okay, except not everyone is a-okay from the other train, and that makes him wish, not for the first time, he could have been two places at once, that maybe he could have helped somehow to stop it from going the way it did. The meeting with stylists and escorts isn’t a surprise, either, it only reignites that quiet anger at the message the Capitol is trying to send, trying to put the blame on those who aren’t the problem. He’s glad the Districts are fighting back, but he’s worried about the destruction and pain that will bring. He’s afraid that there might not be a Seven to see at all by the time the Games come around. He tries to busy himself with his stupid designs, but the passion is even lower than usual, given it feels like an outfit isn’t going to do a damn thing to save anyone in Seven after how the reaping went, after years, and years of defiance. So he doubles down on taking care of everyone. Making sure Twig and Blythe don’t run themselves thin taking care of Harbor. Trying to get Slate to stop being full depressy with some gentle encouragement. Checking in on everyone else, doing a lot of listening.

wedding reception

It’s hard to let his guard down completely, but it feels important to take a moment to breathe in the midst of so much pain, so much change, not just for himself but for the people he loves. He does a lot of mingling, hoping that giving a good impression and reconnecting with his various contacts might help not just Seven, but the others, too, determined, in a different way, to do exactly what he’s heard Blythe going on about, stopping the Games somehow. It wasn’t all business, though, letting himself relax a bit, too, even if a not insignificant portion of his night was spent having rather serious talks with various people being affected by the mess of a Quell, which he didn’t mind, of course, always ready to offer support, try to help in any way he can. A lot of the night was spent with Slate, having a nice, soft, romantic time, and it was kind of magical tbqh. Dawn was definitely thinking he’d drop an I love you once they were in private. They planned to end the night together, but Slate went to get their coats and never reappeared. Dawn thought maybe he’d pushed a lil too hard on the romantic shit but ofc actually it was a great night for both of them, but the peacekeepers cockblocked them smh

[ultimateaclrecovery]

In other pandamic dating news I suppose I should mention the other guy I’ve been “seeing” k. We had a virtual date that was fine but also weirdly felt like an interview. He was super serious about finding a long term thing and I can get behind that but am not that serious. He also straight up had written a list of things he wanted to make sure he asked me? And assumed that I would have the same? And like I’d get it if it was pandemic specific questions before meeting in person but it was just like what are your hobbies? What to do you for work? Like buddy most people just chat.

But he was also really sweet and we did have a good conversation. He is very nerdy and super into video games and board games. He reminds me very much of the cool extroverted on in a group of socially awkward nerds. He also sounded like he was being very careful with COVID, basically never leaving his house and getting groceries delivered.

And then we had a second date yesterday and the plan was to go a park and have a picnic. And like day of I like just didn’t want to go because I just did not want to do anything and the idea of being social sounded really hard. And then we go and it’s crazy windy. And initially I wasn’t wearing my mask, because outside and lots of space, and then when he came up to first say hi he comes and stands right next to me like a foot away !!! So I back up a couple feet and then he inches closer again, so whip out my mask and put it on. And he goes oh I should go get my mask. Like ugh. And then I had to be very clear that I wanted him to put his blanket at least 6 feet away from my mine. 🙄

And then it’s so crazy wind out that leaves and small branches start flying everywhere, so move to get away from the tree and the guy just keeps drifting closer so I have to put my mask on again. And I suggest just calling it and he’s like we can go to my house it’s right be here! Like no. So we settle on doing a virtual date. And he’s all I have this cute game idea we can do let me set it up in Microsoft teams! Which like is cute but also I do not have that and am unwilling to deal with setting up accounts and stuff. And also why can’t people just chat? Are you so bad at socialization that you must have a game to hide behind. But then we ended up playing an simple online game and it was pretty fun. He wanted to play another game but I was like oh I should go grocery shopping.

So like overall wasn’t really feeling it, but also I was tired and cranky about it so it’s hard to judge. I was planning on seeing how a third date went just to see if I was just tired and over socialized Sunday but writing all this out I didn’t really say very much nice things? It feels a little bit like K is a guy who it makes sense for me to date, like he’s sweet and tries hard and is happy to just play board games and chill but I can’t help but wonder if he’s too nerdy or “too lame” and then there’s D who’s much more outgoing and fun to be with and relaxed but also almost feels like he might be too cool for me or is just good at talking to everybody. And then you throw COVID into the mix too and it’s all just ugh. Almost makes me want to just ignor everybody. But doing that is why I’m always single soooooo.

TLDR pandemic dating is still the worst

[prorevenge]

Terrible flatmate gets what he deserves

Context:

I am a university student and I am staying in accommodation near to the university I am studying at. I get along with the majority of my flatmates, there are a couple of us that don't see eye to eye but it's nothing serious. This revenge involves me and a friend ( lets call him Joe ) getting revenge on our flatmate who was a massive pain in the backside.

Joe and I live in the same building together, the building is a 3 story flat with me being on the first floor and Joe being on the second floor. Joe and I arrived to the accommodation at roughly the same time so we got to know each other very well. The first week of staying at the accommodation went very well we all introduced ourselves to each other and asked questions so we'd get to know each other better.

Then the start of the second week starts and in walks in the little shit ( lets call him Jeff ). Jeff didn't introduce himself to anyone or talk to anyone when he arrived, nobody was bothered too much by this and nothing happened for the rest of the day. Then the evening started, Jeff was one of those guys who would online game but instead of staying quiet and keeping calm he would start hurling insults at people shouting at them, telling them that they're bad and should kill themselves when he wasn't very good at the game himself. We put up with it for about a week but after that we started going up to his room and told him that he needed to stop because he was causing a disturbance and we wanted to have peace and quiet. He responded by telling us to go away and he could do what he wanted.

The way how our the rules work for our accommodation is that you can contact the wardens if someone is being a disturbance or doing something they shouldn't be and depending on how severe their actions were would determinate what would happen to them. Usually you start by getting a warning but if it is more severe than that you would end up getting a strike. Get 3 strikes and you get evicted. We all agreed to contact the wardens because Jeff was taking no notice of us. The wardens came and issued him a warning informing him that if it happened again he would get a strike. We thought he would stop after that and it would be the end. Oh how wrong we all were. Instead of apologising he decided to start being even more of a pain by being even louder and start threatening people. The main victim of his threats was Joe.

Joe decided he was fed up and started firing back by doing Karaoke in his room to drown out the noise that Jeff was making while this helped it just made even more noise therefore making it more difficult for the rest of us to relax. Joe agreed he would only do Karaoke during the day so that we could get some sleep and night so we wouldn't miss our lessons. Jeff on the other hand wouldn't stop. Eventually I contacted the wardens because he was making it too difficult to sleep due to the constant noise he would make, although I hadn't missed any lessons more than half of us in the accommodation were due to oversleeping.

2 days after I contacted the wardens he received his first strike. When he found out I was the one who contacted the wardens he started making my life a pain. He lived in the room directly above me so he would constantly jump and stomp on the ground to make even more noise. It was no surprise that he had been given a second strike shortly after. After that it was the winter holidays so we all went back to our family for Christmas ( the time away from Jeff was exactly what I needed and it helped majorly ).

When we got back we found out that he had smashed up his laptop ( which he used to game on ) during the holidays when we had settled back into the accommodation. This meant he couldn't go online gaming anymore or do any work at home for his course. This we thought would finally be the end of all the noise. Nope it got worse, he started to steal things from his flatmates on the same floor as him. We all knew it was him but the wardens couldn't prove it so he didn't receive a third strike. Eventually he managed to save up enough money to buy a replacement laptop which angered all of us. It turned out he'd been stealing valuables from Joe as well as his other flatmates then started selling them so he could buy himself a new laptop. We were all pissed and decided we needed to do something about him.

Joe and I started plotting how we could get our revenge, we knew we couldn't get the laptop off him because he would lock it up safely in his room, then we remembered that he only took his student card with him when he had a lesson at the university. In order to get into classrooms in our university you need to use your card to scan yourself in, this would mark you as being present for the lesson as well. We knew he valued his attendance very greatly because the student with the highest attendance would receive a reward. Joe decided he would get Jeff's student card and hide it somewhere so he wouldn't find it. We only intended for him to lose the reward that he was going to get for the highest attendance.

After about 3 weeks Joe managed to successfully get his student card. Jeff was furious, he started going to anyone he could in the accommodation to find his card and started threatening them. We all knew Joe had it but nobody would tell him because we all wanted him to pay for the nuisance he had been. This was the third time he had to replace his card so it would cost him £20 which doesn't sound like much but when you're a broke university student, everything is expensive. Not to mention he kept all his money on his student card therefore we was screwed. Joe had the intention to give him back his card after he paid for the items he stole off everyone but before he could negotiate a deal. Jeff got the idea that I was the one who took his card. After all, I was the one who had called the warden who had given him 2 strikes.

He waited till when he thought I had gone to university for the day not realising my lessons for the day had been cancelled and he tried to break the door down preventing him from entering our floor of the accommodation. I heard him doing it so I went straight to the door and recorded him. Immediately after I instantly contacted the warden and he got evicted!

To this day Joe still has his card and will not give it back. Jeff is now living in different accommodation which is more expensive and not licensed by the uni. His attendance has fallen under 70% meaning he has no chance of winning the reward for the highest attendance.

TLDR: Terrible flatmate thought he could be loud and obnoxious and could get away with stealing our stuff to replace his laptop which he broke so we stole his card to screw him out of the attendance award and as a bonus got him evicted from the accommodation.

(source) story by (/u/veaserd34)

[emotionalcello-makefanfics]

Summary :

“Excuse me, I think you underestimate the power of your cute smile. Nuclear warheads from the east throughout the west got nothing on you.” After solving a case, a detective tried to flirt with a hard-faced FBI agent. It doesn't go smoothly, but that doesn't mean he's going to stop. - - - - - “Smile to me like that again then I might not survive the night,” Chris swoons, and the one blushing is somehow Hotch, “Have you not been flirted on before?” “Not as boldly and creative as you do.” “Well, get ready Hotch, because I’m just getting started.”

Sequel : That Body = Absolute Unit and Not Now, But Someday

No Warnings Applied

Click title to read on ao3. Click keep reading to read on tumblr~

Words : 4k

The case of man shredder is finally closed. After four long days of following chunks of bodies in the alleys, they finally caught the unsub. It was the longest day he had ever experienced, and he had walked behind a hundred-year-old lady on the subway stairs before.

Detective Hamlyn – Chris for friends and lovers of the night- huffed and undo his bulletproof vest when they finally return to his precinct while police officers contain the unsub. The police officers, him included, notify the victim’s family, and their reaction is just as expected. They did a little briefing and say good work and goodnight as they close the case and tidy up.

The B.A.U. team seems rightfully s tired but they looked relaxed as they take this case as a win, so does Chris. With that, he feels it’s the right time to ask.

“Hey, Emily?” he called the agent by her first name. The last four days, he’s been bonding with agent Prentiss the most, though his true attention has been towards someone else. His hand inconspicuously pulls back his already rolled-up sleeves. Rubbing his arms as his warm beige skin starts to look paler.

“What’s wrong?” The agent narrowed her perfectly twin eyebrows. Her concerned voice and body language were caught by her colleagues who are sending the two of them watchful looks.

Chris had learned by working with them how scary their knowledge is, almost borderline supernatural. It’s crazy, but damn do they work.

“Nothing’s wrong!” Chris exclaimed in low voice.

“You looked nervous.”

Chris is doing his super-duper poker face right now. Maybe he needs to rethink his life choices too.

“I’m just... okay...” Chris groaned and wing it, “I didn’t see any ring so I’ve been meaning to ask if-”

“Oh...” Emily, flutter her pretty long lashes and leans away, “Sorry Chris, I’m not looking.”

Chris gapes, with eyebrows reaching to his hairline, “I’m not asking about you Em, no offense, you cute, but I was asking about...” Chris looks right and left, purposely ignoring Emily’s shocked expression. Chris leans down a bit and whispered, “I wanna ask if Hotch is single.”

Emily visibly froze, while Chris looks into the conference room with the mirror board through the glass window. By the oval desk he prepared for the BAU team, Hotch is by the table, reading case files and putting them in the file box.

To be honest, older man is not his type, and his face wasn’t that high on his priority list too. But seeing the man in action made Chris feel things in his chest, his head, and at some inappropriate point, his crotch. Honest to the holy gods, they were serious and focused on the job, and there was no romantic moment at all, but Chris is not the one holding the joystick to control who his heart rebels for.

SSA Aaron Hotchner, a man of few words, and a hard face. He doesn’t know how much suit and dress shirt the man brings but it seems like he’s been wearing the same black suit, and the same maroon tie with small dots and the same thin striped dress shirt.

In all the four days he’s here, never once did Chris ever seen him smile, not even a quirk upwards. His raven hair loosely coiffed, and eyes dark and deep and it just looks like two black holes with no end. They seem cold, devoice of emotion, but Chris knows that’s not true.

Under the light of day, when he tagged along with the unit chief to do a door to door interview, he saw the light hits his black irises. As they were concluding what they learned from the interviews, all that Chris can focus on is the light tint of olive green in Hotch’s eyes. Then slowly but surely, those sharp dark deep-set eyes pierce through his soul.

There’s more to that man than what he gave an impression of. Chris has been there as the man gives clear and cut-throat instruction, but at the same time considerate. Hotch is efficient, looks like a hard worker, respected by his team, but sometimes, when Hotch was all by himself, Chris can see how tired the man is. Even so, right now, the man just quirks up the tiniest smile as he looks into the missing teenager they saved.

His heart just stopped right there and then. A glint of light shines from his dark aura. Chris knows... oh he just knows he needs to get closer... He’s never been drawn to something this hard since he saw an authentic leather cowboy pants 20% off on Amazon

Maybe Chris just has a thing for mysterious emo boys? Well, not exactly mysterious emo boys. More like a stoic man, with a lot of baggage because of the emotionally draining job.

It helps that Hotch is dashingly handsome, and in contrast to his looks, Aaron is such a cute and boyish name.

TLDR: Chris is feeling some burning desire for the tall, dark and handsome FBI agent.

“Chris?” Emily snaps her fingers in front of his face, “Wow, you’re really whipped for my boss huh?”

“Am I? What does your profile say?” Chris tips his chin confidently.

“Well, in this case, your demeanor screams playboy, and you flirt with girls if she spares you even the tiniest spark of interest, but you don’t do casual relationship. You believe in love at first sight, you’re a naive romantic, but you’re persistent, patient, and you follow your gut. Now, your gut is pulling you right there,” Emily cocks her head towards her boss.

Chris cocks his head to the side with a smirk, “That never gets old, what you do is just so cool.”

“It can get annoying, I can profile what you google with incognito.”

Chris sweats, “Wait you can do that?”

The agent cracks a wide smile, “No, not with I’ve got so far.” Chris chuckled nervously and wipes his non-existent sweat on his temple.

“So,” his eyes are back on Hotch, unconsciously sweeping his dark chocolate hair back, “what are my chances?”

“Hotch was married once, and he just broke up with his girlfriend. That’s all I’m telling you.”

“Oof, total hetero huh? Not just that, everything he does is classic alpha male behavior.”

“That’s what I said too.”

“Fuck Jesus!” Chris spaz at Dr. Reid’s voice suddenly came from behind him. And as sudden as he says that, he’s gone just as fast, making a beeline to the coffee maker.

“Hotch is far from Jesus though, hair ain’t quite the same. And I never met Jesus, but I bet his skin is a bit more glowy, and you know, healthy,” Emily teased.

Chris spent a few seconds staring at Emily like she’s crazy, and then realized he’s the crazy one.

“You know what, I’m just gonna go for it,” Chris takes a deep breath. Tidying his navy dress shirt and makes sure his black fit jean isn’t crooked and his combat boots have no dirt on them. As he deemed himself presentable, he marches forward.

“Go for it tiger, good luck.” Emily cheers and Chris highly appreciates that more than Emily knows, heck maybe she does knows.

Heh, profilers. Oh, but Hotch is a profiler too. Damn, maybe he’ll know his intention just by a knock or something.

Here he goes anyway.

Chris knocks on the open door, catching Hotch’s attention, “Good work today.”

“You too, Detective Hamlyn,” Hotch nods, still no smile, “You’re cooperative, we hardly have any captain that do.”

“Yikes, I take it you’ve seen a lot worse?”

“Yes.”

Hotch stops tidying up the table and looks at Chris. Time stopped as his dark eyes investigate his micro-expression, but what Chris cared for the most right now is how pretty Hotch’s bottom lashes are. They’re short but full and intensely black, they go completely from one corner to the other.

“It’s nice meeting with you,” the older man said with a respecting and platonic nod as he continues to file.

Ouch, that’s worse than being rejected, being dismissed with a detached professional reply. Chris needs to be bolder.

“Yeah, nice meeting you too,” Chris takes a deep breath, “But you know... DC to Quantico is easily an hour train ride away, so it doesn’t have to be our last meeting.”

There’s a horse running in his chest, puncturing his heart with its hooves. Oh, and the look on Hotch’s face. He bet there’s a lot of murders and creepy bastards he takes on and he won’t even blink an eye, but now, Hotch blinks owlishly with his lips parted.

It doesn’t take a profiler for someone to know what Chris is implying.

“I...” Hotch looks away.

Oh no, it’s a dragged ‘I...’ means Hotch is about to reject him and currently trying to find the mercifully right word to do so, then they’ll never see each other again, like ever.

Time for bold tactic number 2.

“Look, even if you’re not interested, you’re a cool dude. I admire what you do, to face hundreds of sociopathic sexual sadist white males in his 30’s and still have your cool. Or maybe you’re trying to seem you look cool? I don’t know man I can’t really read any of you. I just... think you’re awesome and I want to get to know you. I swear I’m not up to something creepy. God, I’m rambling I’m sorry I’m nervous. Just um...” Chris takes a business card from the cardholder on his belt, and slide it towards the stunned agent.

“I’m down to hangout. If you’re tired of looking at the same face every day” Chris cocks his head towards the glass window, “Don’t hesitate to call, I don’t mind the train ride.”

Hesitantly, Hotch takes the card and inspect it. Chris had never felt this naked because a man looking so thoroughly at his business card.

“I knew Chris is not your full first name,” Hotch states, still with a stoic face. Emily could’ve profiled that, but Chris is not one and he doesn’t know what that reaction means.

“Nope, my real name is a tongue twister, so I just go by Chris,” he replies, like a normal person. He counts that as a success.

“How do you say your name?”

“Kristianto.”

Upon hearing it, Hotch doesn’t even bother to try, and Chris fully understands, “Malaysian?”

“Indonesian, on my mother’s side. Basically means Christian.”

Then Hotch stares to the card again, and Chris starts sweating. Should he escape now? Be like ‘okay call me maybe, bye’?

Then Hotch puts his card in his breast pocket and goes back to cleaning up the files.

“I’m busy most of the time, I don’t have a lot of free time,” Hotch’s voice drops low but soft like expensive faux fur and gentle as if meek.

“Duh, I can see that. I mean, as long as I get to see or hear from you, just a call or meeting for a short break, I don’t care, I’m down to do whatever you want.”

The look on Hotch's face is as if no one had ever said that before. Whoever was his wife or girlfriend, must’ve been the one pampered and forgot to pamper him back. Lucky for both of them, that’s his specialty. He’s not a people pleaser, but for Hotch? Boy does he want to please this man and show him a good time. That off-guard face he’s making just because Chris says something basic is the one that does it.

Chris, the casually pessimistic sanguine, now feel either optimistic or desperate enough to go anywhere this dreamboat is willing to sail him to.

“Really? Whatever I want?” Hotch, despite sounding monotone, looks actually excited. That just adds oil to his running engine.

“Yeah! I’m up until 2 am and woke up at 7 if you want to call me. My yelp game is strong so I can take you to the best restaurant and hangout spots around. If you want a chill daaa-I mean hangout! Yeah, if you want a chill hangout, I cook a mean chilly I learned from Binging with Babi-” Chris got choked up because of the sight behold in his humble presence.

Hotch smiles, at him. At him.

“Oh god...” Chris wobbles and quickly get a hold of the table.

“What’s wrong,” Hotch grabbed his arms. Repeat, Hotch is touching him. His grip is so strong he wants to be wrap in it and—now is not the time!

“No, nothing.” Chris dismissed, badly, as he awkwardly smiles like a creep and shifting his eyes anywhere else other than Hotch’s face.

“It doesn’t seem like nothing.”

“Profile me then,” Chris challenged out of desperation.

He got his poker face on, there’s no way the man knows.

“You reacted like this because I smiled.”

Why did Chris even try?

Chris doesn’t take kindly when Hotch looks at him incredulously after knowing that fact, “Excuse me, I think you underestimate the power of your cute smile. Nuclear warheads from the east throughout the west got nothing on you.”

Hotch smiles again, complete with a soft little scoff for extra damage. If that’s not a green light, then that little cheeky grin is too cruel.

“I’ve heard a few comments on my look, cute is never one of them,” Hotch admits.

“They either blind or have poor taste. Yes, your eyes are carrying shopping bags-”

“Hamlyn,” Hotch scolds half-heartedly.

“But they’re your charm! And-” Chris felt his brain scrambles like someone stuck a fork in it and spins it around like noodle in a cup of brain juice.

“Look,” Chris said, more to himself actually, “I don’t actually care how you look, or how sexy your voice is, dammit,” Chris lowly curse under his breath. “As you can see, I’m rusty.”

“You don’t say,” Hotch teased and seems to be having genuine fun, it’s not a sight for the faint of heart.

Smiling shyly, Chris glances at his boots, “Cut me some slack. I never actually approach someone like this. I draw the line on people I work with, but I really really like you, and I’ll be damned if I see you go without trying to at least get your number.”

The sharpness in Hotch’s piercing black eyes mellows. The wrinkles between his eyebrows are finally catching a break. With a loud thump on the files, Hotch is finally finished putting out the files on the table.

“What about now?” Hotch's suddenly said.

“What the what now?”

“I’m up for a drink, maybe a light snack.”

Chris short-circuit into oblivion. This is it. This is the shit man, pull it together!

“I... yeah! Sure! I know just the place.”

“Will it still be open this late?”

“It’s 24 hours, homebrewed beer, and the fried pickle is to die for.”

“That sounds nice,” Hotch sounded genuinely taken by surprise, he looks down to his watch, and he must’ve only noticed then that it’s 1 am, “I hope you’re not too tired.”

“No way, you just made me feel like I’m swimming in meth, not the best metaphor but yeah, you get it. I feel like I chugged a glass of liquid heroin, wait that’s not better. I swear I don’t have a drug problem.”

Then, honest to God, Hotch laughed. Not like the lame ‘haha’ chuckle no. A full laugh with a hand on top of his chest, and breathing shortly and eyes crinkled shut. This man has the ability to destroy him completely and Chris is so doomed. Oh so gladly doomed.

“Thank you,” Hotch said when he finally calmed down.

Chris doesn’t know what to think about when a man has to thank him for making him laugh. He’s glad though that Hotch doesn’t think he’s boring, or too forward, or even offending, god it was his biggest fear. Maybe this will go somewhere good.

“I’m done cleaning up,” Hotch notified.

“Great, let’s go, it’s a walking distance.”

“Perfect.”

Hotch grabbed his bag, and they walk out of the glass conference room. Only then he noticed Hotch’s team was huddled over together with watchful eyes directed at them. Most of the officers had already gone home and a few of the night shift officers already arrived.

“Hey, Hotch, ready to jet?” Agent Morgan called over. Hotch approaches them and Chris follows suit after grabbing his bag from his desk, keeping his jittering under the radar, hopefully.

“You guys go on ahead, I’ll fly by morning,” Hotch informed. This is the first time Chris sees his team seemingly suspicious of their leader’s decision. But honestly? So does Chris. One more day? For an outing with Chris? He hoped he’s not visibly blushing.

“What will you be doing?” Emily teased, looking pointedly at Chris who stuck a tongue at her.

“I have a date with Detective Hamlyn, goodnight everyone.”

Hotch turns around and walks away, leaving his team with jaws on the floor. No less Chris, who looks at Hotch’s back, then back to the five agents in front of him. He felt the eyes of five hyenas that looks at him sharply like he just killed their cubs or something. No words needed to know these people care about Hotch.

“I-It’s nice working with you guys?” Chris cleared his throat, “I’ll bring him back safely,” but that’s the wrong thing to say. He’s not taking out someone’s daughter for god sake.

“He’s waiting kid, chop-chop” Agent Rossi, his idol since he was in the academy, just ‘chop-chop’ him.

No need to tell him twice, “Goodnight!” then speedwalk towards Hotch.

Before the man even holds the knob to the front door, Chris hurries to open the door for him, instinctually. Given, Hotch looks stunned yet again.

“After you, my sir,” Chris bows and waves his hands towards the road.

“You do this to all your dates?” Hotch shakes his head amusedly.

“Yes, and it’ll gonna get worse,” chirped the old security guard, who gave him a side-eye and a held back smile.

“Sammy!” Chris put a hand on his navy dress shirt, “How could you, you know me better than that. I’m a gentleman to the core.”

The old man just chuckles and waves at the two men,  “You guys have fun!”

“Goodnight sir,” Hotch nods at the man and walk down the side road with him.

After a few seconds walking and stealing glances, Chris finally says, “You’re an open book to your colleague, eh?”

“They already know you’re asking me out.”

“Yeah, but they didn’t know you accept.”

“Really?” Hotch smirked and Chris gapes.

“You sneaky sneaky tease!” Chris exclaimed.

Hotch smiles again, showing his slightly crooked teeth on the bottom row. Suddenly the late night air doesn’t feel too chilly anymore.

“First time on a date with a guy?” Chris asked.

“Yes, you?”

“No, I think I went out three times with a guy, dated one, which only lasts like a few months.”

“Huh, your reputation serves you.”

“Hey, no! I’m always the one broke up on.”

Hotch quirks up the corner of his lips, “I know.”

“Smile to me like that again then I might not survive the night,” Chris swoons, and the one blushing is somehow Hotch. “Have you not been flirted on before?”

“Not as boldly and creative as you do.”

“Well, get ready Hotch, because I’m just getting started.”

“Aaron, please. I’m off duty.”

Chris bites his lips from the smile threatening to form, “Okay, Aaron. Then call me Chris.”

The rigid and stern unit chief is finally enjoying himself as they carry themselves easy through the late city night. It helped that the bar is only filled to half that night. Most patrons are office workers with their buddies just gathering up to unwind. The bartender of the night shift is an old friend of Chris and he gave them a seat on the bar. The tv, people chatting and playing pool sets as a throughout mood.

They spent the night hanging out with cold craft beers and two servings of fried pickles, talking about anything and everything. Like the 4-days old news, because they pay no attention to anything else when chasing their criminal. What their plans for the weekends are, or their plans when they go home. Chris is planning to put a sheet mask, takes a long warm bath and sleeps as much as he can as he needs to work tomorrow.  Horrifyingly, Aaron’s plan when he goes home is to work on a report.

After some persuading, lowkey begging, and a few embarrassing nicknames later, Aaron promised he’ll sleep first before touching those reports.

It’s noticeable how they edge away from personal topics like family, but Chris is fine with that. It’s only the first date after all. Even as they talk about pity things like their favorite foods and embarrassing university days, the air is comfortable.

He also learned that Aaron is not that much older than him, only by three years.

Boy, how many sleepless nights and emotional baggage did Hotch carry inside those eye bags Whether or not they’ll be an item, Chris is determined to make Hotch sleep more, or at least introduce him to sunscreen.

At 5 am, Chris drives Hotch to his hotel, and stops by the lobby entrance.

“I have a great time tonight,” the older man says, with smiling eyes murdering Chris with suffocation by handsomeness.

“Me too.” He was about to say something else, but he held back. He doesn’t want to push Hotch even further from his comfort zone.

“I’ll call,” Hotch’s words came to the rescue, and Chris is back from the dead and walks the earth again.

There’s a stupid smile on Chris’ face right now, and he’s showing it all.

“Okay, I’ll hold you to that.”

Hotch opens the door before his feet even touch the asphalt below he retracts and closes the door back. A hand planted on the side of his seat and a hand frames his face, that happened so fast, but when Aaron has himself in his merciful hand, he slows down as if he hesitated.

To proof there’s nothing to hesitate about, Chris caresses the back of Aaron’s neck and pulls him close. Chris doesn’t see Aaron close his eyes when he closes his, but the man doesn’t move away. His heart jumps out of his rib cage when he feels the warm lips on top of his. Aaron still tastes strongly of yeast from the beer with a tinge of saltiness from the fried pickle.

When Chris breaths in, he smelt a tinge of perfume blending with the smell of beer. The lips pressed against him nibbles on his, leaning even closer as Aaron’s hand plays with his hair.  He can’t help the smile on his lips at the ticklish feeling on his scalp.

For a split second of their kiss, they let themselves be. He lets Aaron takes whatever he wants, no matter how little.  

When Aaron finally breaks the kiss first, they stay in a close space.

“Thank you for tonight’s date,” Aaron whispered against his lips, and Chris finally has the gut to look into Hotch’s eyes.

How mysterious are those eyes. At first sight, it’s black, only when he’s this close and the light is right, he could see the slight low saturated green on his eyes. It obliterates his heart how much Aaron seems like he’s happy. It’s an honor but, Aaron treats it like it’s the first in a long time.

It’s only a date, but it’s starting to feel less superficial.

Maybe that won’t be such a bad thing.

“Your welcome, Aaron. Anytime. I mean it,” Chris hesitantly touch  Hotch’s face, rubbing the soft wrinkles on the tail of his eye with his thumb.

Thank coincidence it’s 4 AM. They’re really taking their time in front of the lobby entrance, but no one is behind them. Still, one of them has to end the night, they got work tomorrow.

“You promised you’ll sleep first right?” Chris says.

“I promise,” Hotch replies, and he finally leans back, “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

Aaron slips out of his car and walks to the lobby. Even then, Aaron took his time to look back and waves as Chris drove away.

The smile on his face sticks until he falls asleep.

It’s a good night indeed.

[sa1bo]

Y'all got any other anime recs?

i can just give ya all my fav anime fdfhdghk

TLDR;

sailor moon*

inuyasha

digimon*

Kamikaze Kaito Jeanne

Ao no Exorcist / Blue Exorcist*

Puella Magi Madoka Magica (16+)*

Kill la Kill (16+)*

My Hero Academia (duh)*

Danganronpa

Tiger and Bunny*

(anime with a * have GREATLY influenced my art and or writing style and idea of what a good story is; AKA THOSE ARE MY ABSOLUTE FAVES)

longer explanations under the cut

Sailor Moon (the oringinal one from the 90s; watch as sub if u want to go in all serious, but the dub is fun too if u like watching it more relaxed ((or with friends bc shits funny)))it has 200 Episodes and 5 MoviesThere IS a remake but I’d say watch that after you’ve seen the original.Summary:Usagi Tsukino is a normal 14 year old girl.. she’s like you and me... sleeps in, loves to eat sweets, loves to play video games, has bad grades, kinda nervous about making friends, kinda broke and just wants to have a good time. But one day her life turns over when suddenly she’s supposed to become a magical girl to defend Tokyo from evil and find a mysterious princess from the moon. (this also involves a talking cat how cool is that)Noteworthy mentions: gay and trans characters? hell yeah! (even if they join the party really late)

Inuyasha! I never saw the english dub, nor japanese dub so no info on which one to watch. just go with preferencehas 193 Episodes.Summary: Kagome Higurashi is yet again an average girl; but she lives at a shrine that has been home to her family for a long time. One day she falls into the well inside the shrine when trying to get her cat (iirc i didnt watch it in 10 years oops) and ends up waking up in feudal japan. She doesn’t really know what happened but thats when she meets inuyasha, who is nailed to a tree with a magical arrow. She saves him and that’s kinda how their destinies collide. again; inuyasha is a half-demon who jumps into fights with a huge fucking sword and its a tru adventure.

Digimon!All digimon seasons should be watched in japanese (or german or latinx spanish (because other languages like english and french did not use the japanese soundtrack. and the english soundtrack is HORRIBLE. bad. hideous. please watch in japanese, german or latinx spanish.)You should start watching Digimon Adventure (1 and 2 and 3)but those two together will be 130 Episodes (and this shit is 3 seasons) jkafhaskjafter seeing season 1 and 2 you should watch the Digimon Movie (my fav movie of all times) and THEN move on to Digimon Adventure triThis is the original digimon series and you don’t NEED to watch it to udenrstand the many reboots, but it’s nice to have seen it to get the references (plus its just REALLY REALLY GOOD!)[theres a lot of gay tension between certain characters but canonically ofc its not happening I GUESS but whatever them gay]Once u got all those down you can watch Digimon Tamers!It has 54 Episodes and is my personal fav season! Takato is a dreamer like you and me and he wants fictional characters to be real! He makes a fucking digimon OC and!?!? IT COMES TO LIFE!!!!!!!!! this season is so fucking good yall. It’s so good.I personally don’t like Digimon Frontier but if u want to give it a try go ahead! The kids THEMSELVES turn into digimon here! idk how many episodes it has tbh but the soundtrack is a bop.Digimon Data Squad is also really good!! the characters are more grown up and the approach is generally a tad more mature (to tamers is also pretty mature considering those are like 12) data squad has 48 Episodesanything after that i didnt rly bother watching but if ya want u can check it out

Kamikaze Kaito Jeannea magical girl anime that i liked a lot as a kid? didnt watch it anymore since 2012 but i have fond memoriesimagine that god himself assigned magical girls?44 episodes, watch in japanese

Ao no Exorcist / Blue Exorcist25 Episodes of the original anime; after epsiode 17 the anime does it’s own thing, not following the mangaWatch season 2 after episode 17 (or finish the first anime first, and then watch Kyoto  Saga; and then read the manga (it’s still ongoing iirc? my adhd ass didnt finish the manga yet so idk))The anime is about Rin Okumura, who turns out to be the son of satan. Instead of accepting his fate though, he decides to become an exorcist, and not just any normal exorcist, but an exorcist so powerful that he will defeat satan personally.

Puella Magi Madoka Magica12 episodes and a movie of magical girl adventure.it will get VERY FUCKED UP so  if ur very sensitive or death/unreality triggers u then us houldnt watch it.I’d say u need to be very mature to stomach this.But it’s oh so worth it. One of my all time favourite anime!!!!!!

Kill la KillAgain for mature audiences (mostly because of the very suggestive outfits and the high amounts of blood. also trigger warning for pedophilia and parent abuse and incest :((( its all just one episode where it happens but its. its bad. (the evil doer dies in the end tho. die bitch.))24 episodesand an OVA!amazing soundtrack, characters and story! (we like to joke that this is basically SA2 but with lesbian human shadow the hedgehog jakshfaskj)

If ur following this blog ur already watching My Hero Academia, and if not wHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING ON THIS BLOG IN THE FIRST PLACE???????????

if u want to u can watch the first dangan ronpa anime (and after that watch playthroughs of the games) !warning theres lots and lots of blood and death and the first game/anime is a little transphobic, and Girls Stop Having Giand Bobbies Challenge but i promise its a good series with a really in depth story and characters!!(if u want to know more about what order to watch all the shit hmu after u finished the anime)

if you like My Hero Academia you MUST (i repeat MUST) watch Tiger and Bunny25 Episodes and 2 movies of super hero goodness. It’s MHA but with adults. Gay and trans characters? Hell yeah! Did the creators of the anime drink respect poc juice? YES!

i bet theres more but im so tired.................... ask me fore specific genres and i’ll have a rec some other time

[missredbean]

For You I Call: Episode 1 (7)

Premise Imagine your life. Imagine your family and friends. Imagine the best future can offer is now within your reach. Now turn that around. Your world is no longer peaceful. Your loved ones are battling ruthless creatures that devour everything in their wake. And you are now, their enemy.

Summary After three years of hiding and recovering from a traumatic experience, Argent Cross' life finally starts heading for the better—only to have it turned upside down in one night. He wakes up ten years older, without a clear memory of what happened in between, in a warring country that sees him as their enemy's spawn. Going back requires his lost memory, but does he want to remember, when the last thing he remembers is the death of a loved one?

Welcome,

Here is the new prologue of my story, “For You I Call”. If you like fantasy in renaissance setting, humans-vs-hordes-of-monsters, or simply my style of writing, then this story is for you!

What is this all about:

alternate universe

epic battles

politics

love

fantasy warfare

you-know-they-are-dating-but-I-won’t-say-it

Warnings:

ruthless-ness

tragedies

non-straight relationships (male and female version) and straight relationships

present tense style of writing

TLDR: this is basically Muv-Luv Alternative in fantasy setting. Yeah, I love those innocent-hero-thrown-to-alternate-warring-world stories and wish there’s a straight-gay version of it—but there are none, so here it is. Enjoy!

Chapter List:

Prologue  Episode 1: Arachnids (1 & 2, 3 & 4, 5, 6)

Episode 1: Arachnids

Previously:

I follow Vert into the coach. To my relief, the coach is a closed type coach with windows and curtains. Not to mention the seats are cushioned leather seats that looks like a sofa. I can close the curtain and pretend we are in a moving house instead of being outside. If it doesn’t work, I can just lay down and sleep. It’s wide enough to contain my upper body. 

I take a seat across Vert, who sits right behind the driver side. Once I’m seated, she closes the door and orders Rosalys to go.

“You can go now.” 

“Yes, lady Vert.”

Rosalys ring a bell, and the coach moves, accompanied with the pegasuses snort and flap of wings. Nobody stops us from leaving the inn. 

-7-

“We will take the main road and head to the north. On the next town, we will use the train to head south east, where my home is,” Vert says, continuing her explanation from before. “There will be a checkpoint, of course, but it should be fine with our disguise.”

“Won’t they know my face?”

“I doubt it. It’s easier to tell people to look for a white haired young man than distribute a portrait they may have or not have. Besides, you look very different from when I found you. Nobody would recognize you—not immediately.” 

“That’s a relief. What should I do at the checkpoint?”

“Just play as a visually challenged nobleman who has a really sore throat; let me and Rosalys handle the conversation.”

Visually challenged. That’s one way of putting it. In other words, sit tight and don’t do anything. Simple enough.

“Speaking of visions, your sight has come back, right?”

“Yes, but it’s a little bit dark. I can’t see very well.”

“Maybe you need more light. Hold on, let me turn up the lantern.”

Vert leans sideways to reach the lantern placed on a small plank fastened between the seats. She turns the knob, and the room becomes much darker.

“Vert, you got it wrong. You made it darker,” I say when Vert makes no attempt to fix it.

“No, I didn’t. I made it brighter.”

“But it’s darker for me,” I say, earning a frown from Vert.

“Perhaps…” Vert reaches the knob again and turns it to the opposite direction.

“How’s this?”

“Better.”

Vert turns the knob further.

“And this?”

“Much better. I can see very well now.”

“And I can’t. I think I know what’s wrong with your eyes now. They’re weak to light.”

“So I can see when it’s dark, but not when it’s bright?”

“Yes. That’s probably why you can suddenly see. It’s night now. When you woke up, it was noon and the room was bright from sunlight.”

“I see.” It’s a good news, but troubling. How am I supposed to do activities on daytime? It’s not like I can turn off the sun.

Wait. 

That’s it!

“I need sunglasses.”

“Sunglasses? What’s that?”

She doesn’t even know sunglasses? On what century is this place?

“Glasses with dark lenses. Lenses are plates of small glass that you can wear on your eyes.”

“I know what glasses are,” Vert says with a huff. “I just don’t know what sunglasses are. But it’s a good idea. Perhaps we can fashion one at a glasses shop.”

“Yes.” I hope it won’t be like grandpa Cor’s round and old fashioned glasses. The lenses are too big and he looks like a mad doctor when he wears it.

The conversation ends there. Vert adjusts the light so both of us can see. After that, it’s silence between us.

It makes me think. Now that the hectic-ness subsides, questions surface in my mind. Where am I? Somewhere far away from home, that’s clear. But where—or when—exactly? The past? No way, they have pegasuses and back at home pegasuses are only a fantasy creature. Another world? Most likely, since there’s another Vert and another me here. But how did I get here? And why there are people looking for me?

Or maybe the explanation is much simpler; I am still sleeping and this is all just a dream. But no. This is too lucid to be a dream. There’s no way I can replicate the sensation of riding a coach in my dream—because I’ve never rode one—and there’s no way I can imagine Vert’s adult version face in this much detail.

Speaking of Vert…

I sneak a glance at her. She has closed her eyes and appears to be taking a nap. Now that she relaxes, she looks even more like the Vert I know. She still has some baby fat left and only now I notice how stern and mature she looks when she’s awake. Now, she looks like an ordinary girl sleeping.

And I’m disillusioned with how she looks in her dress. Sure, she’s wearing a cream colored, long sleeved blouse paired with a green, two layer skirt and black high-heeled boots, but she does not look feminine at all. It’s like I’m looking at a pretty boy dressing up as a girl. How did she manage pulling that off? Is it the boots? The short hair? Her face? Or is it the way she crosses both arms and legs?

Vert opens her eyes. They’re green like pine’s leaves.

“What is it?”

“Nothing. I just thought you really look like Vert—my sister, I mean, you look better with pants.” I lie straight away.

Vert sniggers. “And you too, like my brother’s long lost twin.”

Boy, does this Vert eats my lie raw too?

“By the way, what’s your name?”

“…You’ve been calling me brother and only now ask my name?” I ask incredulously.

Vert shrugs. “It just occurred to me that you may share the same looks, but not necessarily the same name.”

“Right. It’s Argent. Same with your brother?”

Vert sighs. “Yes. Why you’re not my brother again?” 

That question is rhetorical, but I answer it anyway.

“Because we think memories and blood ties are necessary to be brother and sister.”

Vert goes still. No wonder, even I’m surprised by myself.

“Are you saying that we can pretend to be brother and sister if we want?” Vert asks, voice tight.

“Yes. Not as a replacement for each other though,” I quickly say.

“Sounds interesting, but I’ll have to think about that.”

“Me too.”

“Why you too? You’re the one who suggested it.”

“Yes, but on the spur of the moment. I need to prepare my heart to handle another Vert in my life,” I say, half serious half joking, which earns me a raised eyebrow from Vert.

“Surely my counterpart is not that bad.”

“She’s a dirt magnet. Everyday she comes back as if she has rolled a hundred times on the ground and thousand times on the mud.”

“Oh, then I’m as bad.”

I want ask what that means, but I notice the coach slows down to a stop. 

“Checkpoint time?”

Vert peeks through the curtain and shakes her head. 

“No. It should be further down the road. Rosalys? What’s wrong?”

“There’s a huge line in front of us, lady Vert. I have yet to know what is wrong though.”

“Can you see the front?”

“No, milady. It’s too dark. Please wait for a moment; I will inquire what’s wrong.”

Rosalys comes back a minute later. 

“The army is sending reinforcements to north-east defense line. The road is closed to allow them to come through.”

“The reinforcements should be taxied by the pegasus riders. What do they need the main road for?”

Vert’s question is answered by a tremor. 

“...oh, right. I forgot. There’s that.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Why don’t you look outside? It’ll soon pass.”

Another tremor. I lift the curtain and look forward. At first I only see other coaches, pulled to a stop for the same reason. Then the sky shifts.

No. It’s not the sky. It’s a lizard. A giant, around thirty stories high and several blocks long freakishly over-sized lizard. Its torso is shaped like a round bread, but its skin is like cone shaped rocks put together, especially on the back. Its tail is short; only half of its torso’s length, but its end is shaped like a club—with spikes. Its head is like a turtle’s but with scales and two short horns. 

I close the curtain and face Vert.

“What is that?”

“A stone dragon called Groundsweeper. Cute, isn’t it?” 

I look at the lizard again. Yeah, it’s cute; if it was palm sized and weighed several hundred grams instead of several hundred tons.

“And you’re saying that that overgrown lizard is the reinforcements.”

“Nah, that one is the reinforcements’ weapon of mass-destruction. The real reinforcements are the army escorting it. You can only see the pegasus corps from here though.”

Vert is right. There are tenths of pegasuses flying alongside the dragon. Some maintain their altitude close to the dragon’s head, wings flapping only once or twice as they glide beside its unblinking eyes.

“Amazing. How do you put something that big under control?”

Vert hands me a spyglass. “Here. Look at the top of its head, between the horns.” 

I do as instructed. I see several uniformed people riding on their pegasuses before I find the spot mentioned. There are silhouettes, people sitting in a circle between the horns. 

“See those people? They’re its summoners; the only ones who can give command to it and bring it under control.”

“If it’s a summoned being, why make it walk? Why don’t you just summon it on the battlefield?” 

“It’s not that simple. To summon a grand class familiar like Groundsweeper, you need years of preparation and tremendous amount of resources, so you can’t just dismiss and re-summon it as you like. Of course they summoned it near the battlefield where it’s stationed. But now they’re being moved because there’s another battlefield that needs its assistance and they can’t wait for years.”

The noise grows outside as Vert explains the situation. People are getting off their coaches to see the dragon better. There are ‘ooooh’s and ‘aaah’s accompanied with excited finger pointing; a complete opposite to Vert, who isn’t fazed by the sheer scale and grandiose of the dragon. She just stares at another direction, looking concerned.

“What’s wrong?” I ask.

“It’s strange,” I give Vert a questioning look, and she elaborates. “The Groundsweepers are the west Ulrika base’s familiar. I heard they’re planning to send one to the northeast Geneche base, but I see two.” 

“Two?” I look out again and yeah, there’s another Groundsweeper, quite far behind the first one. There are less pegasuses around it. “What’s wrong with two?”

“Think about it. How much resources and time will it take to move a creature of this scale across the country? The answer is two battalions of combined corps and three weeks. That means for three weeks, the whole border defense is one familiar and two battalions short. Anything can happen within that span of time.”

“If they’re that concerned, why send the army too? Don’t you have it under control?”

“To keep the creature in line in case it goes berserk of course. Groundsweepers may appear calm, but they’re actually very sensitive. If they accidentally acknowledged a city as an enemy because some idiot provokes it, then, well, it’s hard to change its mind.”

I look at the dragon again. It’s blinking again, so slowly. Yeah. I think it can flatten a city or two before it can be convinced otherwise.

“Long story short, moving a Groundsweeper takes months of planning and calculation. You can’t just plus one when you feel like it. Even if you’re desperate.”

“Perhaps they have no other choice,” I say, trying to make sense of the reason behind. 

“That’s what I’m afraid of. In any case, this works for us. It’ll take around three to four hours to let the dragons pass. The checkpoint will be lax with the growing line.”

“And the patrols?”

“Won’t come. They trust the checkpoint guard to do their job.”

[thoughtsoahr]

4/27/19

Hey hey hey here to say (lol rhyme) that i fucking love love love my real big sister and my frat big! I know i sound like such a smol person right now who cant do anything for herself-- which isnt true i can do a lot of shit on my own thank you very much-- but i think growing up as a little sister for real shaped how i view things and how i act and so im definitely forever in the little sister mindset despite being 20 years old and having a little of my own now HAHAHAH but it feels good to have people who genuinely want to take care of you and look out for you even people who arent my big(s) look out for me constantly and are so so caring and for that im just so so so thankful!!!! not to get all emotional or simpy but yallreadyknow im a very emotional and simpy person.

Get ready bc its about to get reaaalll here

[speaking about my non biological big]

Choosing my big a little over a year ago, i had no real idea what kind of relationship would transpire. I knew i wanted a guy big since I already have a big sister, so I chose a big brother on the basis of someone i could learn from and look up to as a role model kinda. not super serious as it sounds, but in general i wanted someone to look up to like my big sis!! After some advice i chose my big and like i was pretty neutral about my decision because i had no idea who i wanted to pick so i just picked one i knew id at least be okay with. So throughout the first semester, i saw other people and their bigs getting really close and i got kinda jealous bc mine never realy asked to hang out much but i get that different people mighht not be that proactive and initiative of things so it was ok, also these other people chose their bigs because fromt he get go they knew for sure they wanted that person whereas i had no fucking clue HAHAHA

This first semester it was awkward like any other friendship right like you barely know the person so u go to small talk and shit (eventually when youre actual real good friends you can joke around without it being awkward and roast the other person knowking the other person has good intentions!!) but then the next semester we hung out more and i really like it when we hang out as a whole line too i think that helped! really fortunate to have such an active line that still talks to eachother and gets food :,) So yeah were like good friends now esp after this semester (his last semester tho, sad :( ) and i guess the one thing i felt like lacked was being able to talk to him about deep stuff like stuff ill talk to with my actual big sister bc i regularly call my sisterbecause i lowkey think i have mild depression but i think thats a story for another post HAHAH anyways its definitely beneficial for me to talk about it outlod with someone whether it be on the phone of in person and the phone is good i always feel better when i talk to my sister about it but sometimes i just want a hug ya know so it would be nice to talk sto someone in person ! anywas i was always hesitant to talk to my big about these things bc i guess we could joke around and hang out fine but it really is a different level of friendship when you can share your problems and mental health issues... and before you say oh why dont you talk to your other friends i feel like i dont want to burden them with these ramblings and have them feel ba for me because when i tell my housemates these types of things (although i know theyre not judging and they actually care about me) i cant help but feel like theyre silently judging me for having so many problems and bitching about small problems also cuz im sure another one o fmy housemates suffers from depression so i dont want to trigger her anyways so last night it was like a lit ass party which i missed out on but im def okay withit because i basically talked the whole night with my big about some stuffs and it felt good knowing that he knows the extent and details about it and knows how i feel about it because i think he knew before it just wasnt clear clear ((but we were both rly fcked up hahahah i guess alcohol really is a relaxant haha made me okay with spilling what i always wanted to spill without feeling weird about it)) anyways his response is what really got me because as we were talking about it okay so it went like this

Me: “blah blah this happened and i know i was dumb and naiive for letting it happen”

Other person in room: “yeah thats why i stayed up so late to make sure you were okay and didnt get taken advantage of again”

--this night my big also stayed awake pretty late but i think because he didnt really know the extent of the issue, he was oblivious which isnt his fault, also the other person knew bc shes a girl and was also targetted i think so we kinda were on the same page--

Big’s response after hearing this: (paraphrased and what i remember from the night mind you i was fucked up so my memory might not be the best lol) “wait what?? If i had known i would have stayed up” and he followed up with “Im not kidding if someone would lay a finger on you i would actually knock the shit out of them”

he said this in a really serious tone and lol the shift from regular party to serious conversation tone was really sudden but im glad we were able to talk about this in a serious tone. After hearing this i was kinda like surprised because ive never really seen him talk that seriously before usually were all joking around but i really appreciate it when i have friends who i can talk about serious things with because in the long run its these relationshps thall help you when youre down and everything and ugh just yeah

TLDR; Im really grateful to have a non biological big that cares for me and looks out for me like my real biological big and after last night Im one hundo percent sure i picked the right big and im just so so thankful for all hes done :,)

[automatismoateo]

I think that I'm going to kill myself via /r/atheism

Submitted March 17, 2019 at 04:50AM by -SENDHELP- (Via reddit https://ift.tt/2TaZ1MT) I think that I'm going to kill myself

Edit for anyone reading this post: I've read some replies and calmed down. I think I'm going to be fine. Life is just shit pretty much but it'll be over soon. I'll be able to get out and I think that I can do it. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?

This will be a long post. I'm sorry.

I just can't do it anymore, I can't deal with them for three more years it's too fucking much. I just need to fucking say something because I'm shaking and crying and I can't do it anymore.

My parents are super bullheaded. They do what they want and never listen to people or logic. I've spent the last three years of my life learning about and saving my money that I FUCKING EARNED to build and upgrade my computer. It's the only way I can talk to my friends and it's the only way I can have any fun, because I live in southern fucking Mississippi and I have issues overheating so I can't exactly go outside very often. This computer is my whole fucking life. If I didn't have my computer, I would have nothing but a roof over my head and a bed to sleep in.

I have issues getting sick. I get sick a lot. A few weeks ago I missed over 2 weeks of school from the flu (my mom is partially antivax and this was the first year I convinced her to let me get the flu shot- it sadly didn't do well for me) and pneumonia. The school I go to gives an absurd amount of work and people will literally come into school WITH THE FLU because they can't afford to miss a day. It's that fucking wacked. At one point a third of the school had the flu, people were walking around with masks like it was China or some shit.

This was the second time I've missed a large portion of school. The first was when I spent over two weeks in a psych ward because I was going to kill myself because of my parents. This understandably means that I have a metric fucking assload of homework to do and my teachers all enter zeroes until it's all turned in. I never have time in class to make things up like tests and before and after school I have to take the bus because of my crazy ass schedule and I don't have time there either. The third quarter ended last week and I had just finished turning stuff in for the second. It's fucking insane.

SO, my wonderful logical parents had taken my computer away 99% of the time because of my "low" grades and would not accept any explanation except I'm just lazy. This means that for 18 fucking weeks now I've barely been able to talk to my friends or do fucking ANYTHING to destress or unwind.

My grades have been going up recently because I've been spending almost every waking hour and fucking breath of air doing work and emailing teachers and organizing etc. I have all As and Bs, a C and a D right now. They were thinking about letting me have more computer time because of (you'll drop your damn jaw at this) how proud they are still the initiative that I'm taking and how responsible I'm being. 30 seconds later they say the computer has to come out of my room (which I've spent hours organizing to make it fit my computer and I can have this cozy cubby that helps me relax and calm down and I've also spent money making it nicer) because IM FUCKING LAZY AND NOT MATURE ENOUGH TO HAVE A COMPUTER IN MY ROOM. what the fuck????

So all this happens and we've cooled off etc, and I've finished moving 99% of my stuff back downstairs. (I say back because just a few months ago it was downstairs for their same fake bullshit reasons) the table downstairs is too small. It won't fit everything that I need. My dad goes to the attic and gets a table out except it's so fucking short that it creates this pocket of hot air with where the wall is and my desk and it'll overheat my PC and also just looks ugly as shit and will cause way more dog hair and dirt to get in my PC.

This is where the part comes in that's got me crying and questioning if I can really keep doing this. My parents know that I'm an atheist. They're die hard Catholics. I was arguing with my parents trying to explain all of the issues that that would cause and they weren't trying to help at ALL and eventually just fucking walked out of the room and started watching Netflix. Like seriously how immature (spelling?) can they fucking be?

So I've gone in where they are to continue trying to get this fixed and we're arguing more and my dad threatened to stick my computer in a box and get rid of it. This is not okay. That computer like I said is all that I have. I have nothing else physically that matters, really. He said that and I said, knowing that it's pretty much the only thing that will make him say anything, "well then I guess I'll just sell my everlasting soul to the devil or something" (which is really fucking stupid to say but I was literally saying it to hold my "soul" hostage to make him not even think about trying to get rid of the computer)

And here it is: his reply was a snark and then, "you have no soul." This man believes in souls. He believes that everyone has a soul. He just said that I don't have a soul and he was dead fucking serious. He literally said that I'm so fucking low that I don't matter to anything. This man is supposed to be my father. Less than twenty fucking seconds later he had the AUDACITY to lecture me on being rude and not being a proper good person. I called him out on it. He did a fucking 720° in that convo and completely changed the topic fucking Sarah Huckabee Sanders style.

After that some other stuff happened and I went back and talked to my mom who was just sitting on the couch browsing Facebook without s fucking care in the world. This is how the conversation went:

Me: "You knew exactly what he meant when he said I have no soul. Exactly." Her: "well you shouldn't have been so rude." Me: "are you seriously lecturing me on being rude when he said something like that to his son and you just sat there and watched?" Her: it was unexcusable but-" I cut her off because this is the point when I start tearing up and shaking Me: "inexcusable? That was beyond inexcusable. You sitting there doing nothing while he said that was beyond inexcusable." She never replied. I left the room to go move more computer stuff.

A little bit later I looked at her and asked her for help moving a really big table. She refused and continued to browse Facebook. Less than five minutes later she asked why I wasnt helping my dad move other desk stuff (tldr after him lecturing me on English after the morality lecture I finally got him to at least help me move my desk downstairs so that I would have room to put my things on) and I replied, "Are you actually asking me why I'm not helping when less than five minutes ago you refused to help me move this table less than 10 feet?"

She scoffed and went upstairs and said to my dad "we need to talk about this." Etc.

At this point I the tears were fucking ROLLING down my face and I was barely keeping it together in the chair I sat down in and I thought to myself what the fuck would it matter if I killed myself? So here I am. Suicidal as fuck. Crying. Alone. Fuck life. No loving God created a life like this. This is a fucking living hell and I can't take it anymore.

[fortune-failing]

Why shamanism makes people bleed

(Night after session 40) ((TLDR: London got kicked out of cultist club, and he’s a farseer now. Cool (and sexy?) shaman stuff happens!))

Pawo

Since Beaford decided to drift off to sleep and Pawo was not feeling very sleepy, he decided to get out of the bed and go stroll around the inner streets of Koken.

London

London had just left his previous destination. He seems a bit lost and not his usual self. When he notices Pawo, he approaches him. "Um, hey, Pawo. Which way was it to the inn?" While talking, he avoids making any eye contact with the shaman and also for some unexplained reason his clothes are damp, and he's not looking so good.

Pawo

Pawo readies himself to answer the question when he immediately takes notice of London's mannerism and shape. "Are you feeling okay, London?"

London

He bows his head down and clenches his teeth before attempting to speak but instead just shakes his head denial.

Pawo

Pawo tries to hold him steady by gently grabbing his shoulders. "Come, we should go to your room and I will help you."

London

"It's useless. I had this coming." He turns his head away with a weak sigh. "I don't know if I can even face Faelian when I get there. I might just sleep outside."

Pawo

Seeing London's distress, Pawo glances around to see if there is any private area they could talk.

Unfortunately, the town was crowded but Pawo does spot a forest not too far from the two. "Come with me to the forest, we can figure this out. Nobody has to know."

London

London has a confused expression but nods and follows anyway.

Pawo

The two approach the forest and Pawo finally stops London, looking him in the eye. "Tell me what is wrong, London."

London

After a little self debate, it doesn't take long for London to confess. He opens his mouth, "I fell in a lake--," then shuts it quickly with another sigh to change his story. "Because of my little white lies, I got kicked out of a group that helped me enhance my powers. Their only conditions were to pay respect to an entity named Demiuras and give credit where it was due, but I've kind of been taking that all for granted because I didn't want to look like a fool. I thought maybe if I had a little help, I could regain the ability I lost when I was a kid, but now I've just lost that and maybe more.." He held his head low. After everything the group has been through, it seemed all the more pathetic he made such an impacting slip-up over a small lie. It was the disappointment he was most scared of, so he just turned away.

Pawo

Pawo listens carefully. His thoughts grow more worried but he stares at London sternly. His sharp eyes are ever so piercing. "Look at me, London."

London

London tenses. He doesn't need to look to know Pawo's glaring right through him. He timidly turns his head as requested.

Pawo

Pawo keeps his gaze unshifted. "You are not telling me everything. What do you mean your ability as a child and 'maybe more'? Do not feel shameful of telling me about your past." Pawo leans in closer. "I can already sense that the negative energy that came out of this situation is effecting your health. I want to help you, London."

London

Despite Pawo's words, the bard still feels intimidated but speaks anyway in a trembling voice. "I just... I'm worried I might have lost my abilities. I'm scared. If I don't have any of the magic I gained while traveling with everyone, then what use am I?" As he continues, his tone grows more subdued but calms. "It's just like when I was a child. I used to be able to predict the future, but as I grew up, I took that for granted, too, because I thought it just made my life more difficult. And then when I needed it, it failed me. I'm pathetic."

Pawo

Pawo backs away, slightly. His expression remains serious, and he is reminding himself of someone he knows when he speaks to London. "What use are you? Is that how you view yourself, a tool we use? You have much more value than that. You cannot blame whatever happened to your magic entirely on yourself. It is an external force, something not always in your control." He sighed, after feeling himself come across as a bit harsh. "How did you end up discovering your ability to see the future in the first place?"

London

His eyes widen at the sharp response, and he stares at Pawo for a moment after it passes. There is a small gulp, but London ironically seems even more composed afterwards. He doesn't actually respond to what Pawo first began to say but continues,

"It was a long time ago, so I barely remember. When I was a kid, I wandered around alone a lot. My parents said I first began mentioning it when I was five. I got lost in some woods. There were trees all around me, and I was crying. Then there was a light that helped guide me out. Or, that's what I claimed anyway. After that, I really believed I could foretell the future, and I told everyone that. But they hated me for it. It got me into a lot of fights and arguments, and when I predicted something terrible, it scared me. I began to think I was really better off without such an ability, so eventually I just told myself it wasn't real and began to suppress it, and it vanished. It's kind of silly that I waited this long just to want it again. Selfish really. If I hadn't met you, I'm sure I would still be doubting my own validity to some extent."

Pawo

Pawo narrowed his eyes upon hearing the description. "Someone with a light was guiding you? Do you remember what they looked like? And...what does meeting me have to do with confirming your belief?"

London

"Oh.." He backtracks a little. "I said a little too much. It's not that it proves my memory, but it feels nostalgic. Seeing you in your spirit form, I mean... I can only say assuredly I saw a light, but after I met you, I wanted to believe it was an animal of some sort. There's probably some placebo effect involved. I'm sure I'm jumping to conclusions." Sweat.

Pawo

"Do not doubt what you saw. I thought it might have been possible at first but now I am almost certain you saw a spirit guide. Though I have no idea what kind it was. Glowing animals are not very common otherwise, are they?"

London

"Well, yeah, true..." London laughs a little with a small scratch at his cheek. "So you really think what I saw was real? No one's ever believed me before.." He isn't sure what spirit guide specifically means, but his demeanor has definitely improved.

Pawo

"You seem honest when you describe it, I am inclined to believe you." Pawo states. "What if we prove it is real? You go to the spirit realm with me, and I try to reach out to it."

London

"You can do that?!.." His eyes widened, but then his voice lowered. "But if it's not true, it would be such a waste... I don't want to trouble you on such a small chance. This was twenty years ago, after all, and going to the spirit realm seems like such a big deal..."

Pawo

"I am a shaman...connecting to the spirit realm is second nature..or I suppose first nature to me. I have already stated that I want to help you. This might be a way to cure your illness a more archaic way. I can purify your soul this way, if you trust me to do so."

London

London stared and then carefully responded. "I trust you." He couldn't deny he was nervous since this was something new that he couldn't expect, but there was a warmth in Pawo's words that was reassuring.

Pawo

Pawo gently smiles. "Good." He slides his coat off. "Normally, this is done on a bed but..as we are in a forest, I feel the connection to nature will serve me purpose." The coat ripped a bit more on the seam where Beaford attempted to stitch it as Pawo pulled it off and placed it on the grass. "Lay down here, please."

London

He eyes the undressing shaman, and starts to understand why Beaford initially had so many doubts about Pawo's feelings for him. Shamans were unintentionally sexy by their very nature. Would thinking something like this taint such a sacred ritual? He's got to get his mind out of the gutter. London moved as instructed and spoke up, "I guess Beaford didn't get a chance to fix your jacket, huh? Maybe I'll let him borrow my sewing kit again sometime.." It shouldn't be too hard to undo the seam and retry.

Pawo

"Do not worry about that right now." Pawo looks at London reassuringly. He starts to speak in a smooth, quiet voice. "I would like for you to close your eyes now. Try to free your mind of excess thoughts. Understandably, It is difficult to concentrate, so pay attention to your breathing." He takes short pauses as he finishes each sentence. "Breathe with me now. Inhale..and exhale." Pawo keeps a distance with London, maintaining his breathing. He calmly repeats "inhale and exhale" a multitude of times, trying to lull London.

London

Such a simple procedure really was notably difficult - particularly after thinking about how sexy shamans were two minutes ago - but as London followed along with the chanting, he eventually found himself relaxing into a daze.

Pawo

Pawo kept repeating the same words, and with every breath he took, his cadence of the instructions became more quieter and softer, as if there was some sort of rhythm in his breathing. While London's eyes were closed, Pawo looked around for a sharp piece of rock. He roughly dragged the sharp edge of the flint he found across the side of his palm. As blood drew, Pawo flinched slightly but did not make any sound.

Holding his bleeding hand, he came closer to Lonon's resting body. He closed his eyes, in hopes of figuring out the part of London's body that was suffering the most from the negative energy. Waving his arm above London, he stopped around his neck. The shaman opened his eyes, leaning by London's body and starts ever so gently unwrapping the scarf. He continues his mantra about taking breaths as quietly as possible. Pawo's instincts were on the dot, as he sees London's cultist tattoo, slightly faded on the side of his neck. Gingerly, he smears a bit of his own blood onto the marking.

London

With his eyes closed, London cannot see what is happening. He stays focused on his breathing as Pawo removes his scarf and tries not to flinch when the substance was pressed against his neck. More than anything he didn't want to ruin such a serious ritual, so he successfully kept his concentration.

Pawo

Pawo stops his matra about breathing and begins chanting. Surrounding sounds of the forest start to become almost mute and a growing glowing light starts enveloping the two men. Pawo continues to chant and clasp his hands around his prayer beads. After a short while, they are transported to the spirit realm. As he is not in spirit form, Pawo's eyes and veins begin glowing much more brightly, the light shining through his clothes. He taps London to wake him up.

Around them is hazy orange atmosphere that feels like it lacks a horizon and as if the two of them are floating. Remote gleaming, yellow lights appear every so often amidst the obscure smog-like area. The air has no fragrance in it and it feels very fresh. Indistinguishable sounds are heard from a farther distance.

London

London's eyes blink open. He wonders at what point he fell asleep and glances around stunned by the sight. Everywhere he looked was a surreal landscape only possible in dreams, and even more stunning was the glowing figure in front of him. "Is this the spirit realm?.." He asked delicately so as to not disturb the atmosphere.

Pawo

"Yes. It is a vast, indefinite space with no sense of time. It changes its illusionary appearance depending on the reason of my access. Right now, we are going to look for the spirit of your childhood." Pawo responds, looking at London with luminous eyes.

London

London gulps for the second time that night. This was really suspenseful, but following Pawo's lead has worked out so far, so he can't back down now. With a nod, he responded. "Okay."

After coming to a stand (?), London decided to ask some questions about the place. (He is not sure this qualifies as a stand because there is no ground.) "You said it changes its appearance depending on the reasons for access. What other appearances does it have? And what are the other reasons you come here?"

Pawo

Pawo replies with very little emotion on his face. "The spirit realm does not have any boundaries or solidity that exists in our planet. It changes appearance depending on the state of your mind. I put all my focus on finding your guide, so it is creating a perception of our mind and soul in a way..somewhat like a stream of consciousness. It will change its appearance the farther we walk along the non existent path. Quite hallucinogenic in a way..yes.. I come here during my meditation, or trying to help other people who wish to seek the spirits. There are also evil spirits whom I can contact as well. The atmosphere of their presence is entirely different to what you are seeing now."

London

With mouth agape, he listened along. Pawo's spirit powers were intense. He tilts his head. "What happens when you come into contact with evil spirits?"

Pawo

"I will show you." Not giving London much time to respond as he begins chanting and a small, dark shadow floats up to the shaman's face and envelops him in a black cloud of smoke. He coughs vigorously and it disappears after about a minute of entrapping Pawo in a pool of smoke. He wafts it away with his hands.

"Ahem.." He clears his throat after almost suffocating. "There are not many significant ones in this area..just pests.."

London

When Pawo starts coughing, London grows concerned and almost moves to make sure the strange cloud wasn't going to kill him, but Pawo cleared the creature out just as quickly as he brought it. London's shoulders slump with relief, and he even laughs a little grateful that was over. "So that was an evil spirit, huh?" It wasn't as evil as he expected, but that's not something he'd complain about. "You okay?" He checked before continuing his questionnaire.

Pawo

"It is not exactly good in any way and its intent is to try to kill you if you do not succumb to it, so I would say it is amongst the many evil spirits. I am all right, thank you." Pawo seems to be an incredibly neutral, relaxed state. Even after being spooked by a spirit, he remained calm and collected.

London

"Oh..." Even if it was a small black smog, he shouldn't underestimate it. London has learned his lesson. He tries to resist teasing Pawo about how he could benefit from learning that lesson, too. "How do you always stay so calm and collected? Is it because of your meditation rituals? Is it important for shamans to stay focused?" He knew he was asking a lot of questions at once, but he was naturally curious and couldn't resist.

Pawo

"Yes, meditation is very important. If I express deep feelings while trying to perform a ritual, it will ultimately result in a way I did not intend, or fail all together. It is expected to stay in the clear at all times."

London

"Oh...!" Teasing and laughing at Pawo under these conditions would have been really rude. He was glad he decided against it. "Would it be better if I saved any questions for after the ritual then?"

Pawo

"We are still searching for your guide right now, you can continue to ask me whatever you wish and I will answer it truthfully. To the best of my ability." Pawo continues to walk, keeping his eyes open for any signs of the guide.

London

"Okay, well, just tell me if it's asking too much or anything. I wouldn't want to mess things up just because of my curiosity.." He looks down as he walks and then takes the conversation a completely different direction. "So what were you like as a kid? You've been training to do these things since birth, right?"

Pawo

"My childhood, yes, it was very enjoyable. I loved my adoptive mother very much as she taught me the ways of my culture, cooking, foraging, medicine. Everything to help me understand the fundamentals of life as a shaman." His gaze wandered around small glowing lights as he reminisced about his past. "I was a very active and loud child. I would be able to play in the fields all day. The yaks and horses were like friends to me. I was very fond of riding them." Despite remembering such sentimental moments, Pawo's facial expression was indifferent to what he was saying.

"My birth is quite complicated and abstract."

London

This was the first London heard Pawo was adopted. He listened very carefully. Part of him felt bad he was making the shaman say this stuff in a place he couldn't fully express his emotions but the image of yaks and horses was a peaceful one, and London found himself smiling along imagining it. "Did you hear the story of your birth from your adoptive mother?" London kept himself from saying 'mother' by itself. He wasn't sure how Pawo might have distinguished the two in case such a differentiation was made.

Pawo

"Yes. My mother..my adoptive mother, Mae. She is a shamaness who was unable to have children and yearned for one. She was very determined that if she reached a high level of spiritual ascension that eventually the spirits would hear her plea and gift her with a child. One day, her prediction came true as I surfaced in front of her, though i was not an infant. Mother says I was six years old and have never lived life as a human being. My body was somehow trapped in the void of the spiritual and earthly realm, not entirely existing. My soul, however, did indeed reside here in the spirit realm. I do not remember my past life..although it is most certainly my present one, I was simply reborn into my body once again." Pawo explains

London

London listened amazed at the tale. "That really was complex... So by past life you mean the life before you were six? How did you get a human body again?"

Pawo

"I was born a human being. I never died and to tell you the truth I have no idea what happened to my body before I came back to the Earthly realm. I never knew my biological parents and why I was raised in the spirit world instead."

London

"Oh, I get it now.. That definitely is mysterious. I wonder if there's any way to find out about that stuff..."

Pawo

"I have never been compelled to understand my past life. What matters now is my current karma and my next reincarnation."

London

He smiled. "That's a better way of thinking about it." Then after a bit more thought added another question. "So were you a nomad then, too? Yukar sounds like an isolated area. I'm guessing you didn't see a lot of cities or anything, huh?"

Pawo

Pawo shakes his head. "No cities, only villages. Yes, I have been a nomad all my life. So has my mother."

London

"Hehe, back then I couldn't really understand how your lifestyle worked, but I'm glad I got to get to know you better. So I guess it was just you and your mother for the most part? Just traveling places and helping people?" Then his voice peaked up, "Did you have any pets?!"

Pawo

"Yes, in my childhood, I only had my mother. The yaks that we would travel on was domesticated, I suppose they were pets."

London

"Did they have names?"

Pawo

"None in particular had a name. The one I was mostly attached to, I used to call 'Moo'. He was a black yak." Pawo discussing his childhood seriously sounded like a child would be describing an animal. Even with how absurd this sounded, he kept a straight face

London

London's own face showed a tight, subtle smile. All he could manage was a nod. If he opened his mouth, he was sure to laugh at the name 'Moo'. It was so tempting to ask more ridiculous questions to take advantage of straight-faced Pawo, but he resisted. "I couldn't keep any big pets, but sometimes I'd collect lizards and stuff. One time I brought a snake home, and my mom had a fit."

Pawo

"I have always been an animal lover. Snakes are quite fascinating." Pawo felt the need to ask London questions back. "So, you..did you have both parents..? Are they alive..?" Pawo's delivery of questioning seemed as if he was asking like he was a child.

London

The response was delayed and quiet. "Um, yeah.. Last I checked they were doing alright. What about your mother? How's she?" He turned the question back on Pawo thoughtlessly in an effort to get out of the spotlight and quickly regretted the fact. Considering Pawo was so close to his mother, the only reason he wouldn't be traveling with her anymore seemed obvious..

Pawo

"Oh, my apologies. I do remember you mentioned your parents briefly before." Pawo corrects himself.

The next thing he had to say was rather difficult to express without feeling a pang of sorrow.He closed his eyes, breathing in deeply. "Mother...mother wanted me to live on my own..so she left me. I have forgiven her but I have not seen her since I was 16."

London

That went in a different direction than he expected, but it didn't make it any less difficult to hear. London's heart thumped remembering the conditions of the ritual, and he gently rested a hand on the man's sleeve in an attempt to comfort him. Pawo was glowing so brightly, part of him was worried it might have been dangerous, but he was surprisingly warm - no different than usual.

"I had to leave my parents at 18, so I think I can kind of understand. The months up to that point, my parents were more distant - warning me I had to leave once my brother was born. I think they were just trying to help me prepare, but I didn't have anyone else I could rely on, so I felt like I was being betrayed. Growing up sucks."

Pawo

Pawo was a bit startled when London touched him and he felt like he was going to implode from holding in his thoughts. He started to concentrate on his breathing to take his mind off of this conversation. The last person to comfort him this way was Beaford. "London..I..am going to lose focus this way..please..do not comfort me.." Pawo averted his eyes. He breathed deeply, chanting quietly for a brief moment.

After he regained his focus, he started to speak again. He finally looked at London, with the same droll expression he had on before. "It may not show on my face but.. I am..deeply sorry about the situation with your family..you can talk to me about it if you wish. I am not judging you."

London

"Oh, I'm sorry!" He quickly drew his hand back. That idea backfired. "But you don't need to worry about me. That was ages ago, so I've gotten over it. I didn't say it earlier, but I'm more worried about how they are doing now, I guess. Last time I visited, I left without saying a word, and it's kind of haunted me. But I've resolved myself to go pay them a visit after this journey is over, so I'll clear things up eventually."

Pawo

"Do you live far from where we are right now....?"

London

London opened his mouth to speak, but then shut it to think. "Err, I don't know. I'd need to look at the map again to say. That reminds me, you said Yukar was a country to the East, right? Is that still on Litskaedun, or is it a continent across the sea?" He had read about this before but forgot. How shameful.

Pawo

"It is considered to be part of a different continent divided by the sea, yes."

London

"Wow, so you've traveled all kinds of places, huh?" Then he carefully added, "Do you think your mother is still in Yukar?"

Pawo

"No..she could be anywhere. That is why I requested Beaford help me track her again."

London

He perked up, "I hope you can find her again! I'm sure Beaford can do it. He's really good at that stuff. I'm not sure how much use it could be, but if you can paint a picture of her or something, maybe I can scry her for hints on where she could be, too. Like what we tried with Caila. You did a great job telling where Taulgeese was with it. Not right now, of course, but once everything is settled, and there's nothing to worry about anymore."

Pawo

"Yes..maybe later. Thank you for the offer."

London

London was silent for a moment. He felt like he ruined the mood earlier by bringing up Pawo's mother, but he wanted to fix things. (Even if it was just his imagination.) Food was always a good subject. "How'd you get so good at cooking? Stuff you learned from your travels?"

Pawo

"Knowing how to make medicine by creating herbal remedies and how to mix ingredients coincided with knowing how to cook. I ended up learning how to complete both tasks." Pawo nodded to himself. "And you? Can you cook?"

London

"Yeah, I know the basics." He laughed. "I wasn't always good, though. Before I met Faelian, I never considered using things like seasonings. It was bad."

Pawo

"..yes..well..recently, in regards to Faelian, Beaford mentioned that you both wanted to travel..with me."

London

"Huh?! Faelian never said anything like that to me." London crosses his arms, squinting at the absent bard, but quickly settles down. "I haven't really thought that far ahead. I'm not sure what I'm going to be doing. I guess I was thinking of traveling with Zarek to look for someone and visiting my family.. But if we could all travel as a group some more, I'm not complaining." His smile beamed at the thought.

Pawo

"I suppose it is not the time and place (despite there being no set of time or place where they currently were located) to think about the future yet..but that is good to know."

London

"Yeah, it can wait. We still have a princess to save. Do you have any thoughts on the future yet?" He asks this despite just agreeing they could postpone the topic.

Pawo

"I want to remain by Beaford's side. I would like to also adopt my own children at some point. Start a new family."

London

"Woah, you're thinking far ahead! That's a nice thought, though.. I never considered myself responsible enough to have kids before now, but if it all works out, I want to go back and see if Lacie still needs a family. If she's not adopted already, I mean.." London averts his eyes with a slight blush.

Pawo

"I listened to your words when we spoke about her last time and I decided to take matters into my own hands by finding her a mother. Similar to this situation, I asked help from a spirit guide. The spirit directed me to a kind woman named Miol and she accepted the offer."

London

"You act fast.. I'll have to mark that off my future plans, but I'm happy for her! Glad it worked out. Thanks for your help, Pawo. Did you get to see her before we left?"

Pawo

"I did not go to see her after that, but I do plan on going back. We can go back together. I told Miol your name."

London

His blush intensifies, "You did?! Well, I guess, I have nothing against it... I'll be happy to meet her again and see the mother you found for her. The spirits really are helpful, huh?.." He'll try to remember the name Miol for later and write it down.

Pawo

"Truthfully, London, I have never seen you so invested in the life of someone we have met during our travels besides the princess. You certainly have a fondness towards this child if you were willing to adopt her."

London

"You think?.. "

He scoffs. "I'm just weak to cute girls who deliver me compliments, that's all, haha.." ... "Growing up, I was never really well-liked, so I made a habit of keeping things that way. Despite that, I've always had a soft spot for when people were nice to me considering the fact. And, well, Lacie reminded me of someone because of that... and other things."

Pawo

"I feel the same way...like I said I did not have any friends. Lacie was..is a very genuinely nice child. I am sure she wants to see you again too."

London

"You made your lifestyle out of helping people, did that really not give you anything in return?" London was sad hearing this. He knew Pawo wasn't the type to do things with the intention of gaining anything, but for all of his effort, it seemed like something he deserved. "I'm glad we'll get the chance to see her again, though. I'm looking forward to it."

Pawo

"I was very...eccentric as a child. Not many children had such a deep connection to the spirit realm yet nor did anyone have such visible veins. I suppose I was kind of shunned for a bit. You know how some children can be..."

"Yes. I feel the same way."

London

"Yeah, people can be mean... It helps to know there are nice people in the world, though. And I think everyone here can agree your veins are really cool!"

Pawo

Pawo nods his head as the two continue discussing their childhood as Pawo senses the atmosphere change around them. The flickering lights soon resurfaced as the smog cleared and a pathway towards a more forested area began to appear. The forest was not typical in its appearance, as trees appeared to be massive and multi-coloured with hues of orange and pink. The trees also appeared to be carrying some kind of glowing fruits which must have accounted to the lights Pawo and London saw in a distance. "It must be here..the spirit."

London

"Is it?" He turned his head to observe the changes in their surroundings. They talked for so long, it seemed so sudden. His heart beat faster just imagining what was in front of them.

Pawo

A luminous figure starts bolting around the forest when the two start to speak. It is difficult to make out what it is from a distance, but it was surely the spirit London was looking for. "Yes..it is here. I cannot catch it in this body, it seems to be unapproachable this way so stay in place as I try to catch up to it." And with that said, Pawo transforms into his spirit form. He turns around to look at London once more before dashing off into the forest, chasing after the spirit.

London

London didn't have a chance to object, not that he was going to. He watched as the wolf dashed ahead and wondered if all spirits were this complicated. His eyes drifted downward trying to remember the past. That was definitely the light he saw before. A smile crept on his face realizing he was right after all of these years. He'd hop up and cheer if it didn't seem too out of place for the area.

Pawo

The spirit started to take on a form in Pawo's eyes. It appeared to be a glowing stag with tall, wispy antlers. Pawo darted after it and he soon caught a close distance to the other animal. The two wispy spirits in a frantic chase felt like a natural, primitive form of prey and predator. In that moment, Pawo felt like an actual wolf rather than a spirit. He was able to catch up to it and crashed his own body against the stag. The spirits clashed, and the deer surrendered knowing it could not escape from the wolf. Pawo signaled London to the deer and it started heading to that direction, with Pawo treading close behind.

The stag finally appeared in front of London, only staring at him with its third eye.

London

Once the skirmish settled, the bard cautiously approached the spirits, unsure if the contest was a good or a bad sign. He made a quick glance at Pawo and then stood face-to-face with the creature from his memories. Without thinking he rested a hand on the deer's head

It felt like both an eternity and a split second when London woke up to the sounds of the night. He found himself still lying on top of Pawo's thick coat, and whatever sick spell he was going through before had long passed. He sat up to ensure the shaman made it back safe and sound.

Pawo

After London regained his consciousness on the Earthly realm, Pawo blinked and opened his eyes. He was back in his human form. The shaman glanced and London and asked, "How do you feel?"

London

"Better.." He replies in a automatic way, still trying to wrap his mind around everything that happened. "So it really was real..."

Pawo

Pawo finally smiles. "Yes, I never doubted you."

London

Seeing Pawo smile, London felt the need to ask, "About those things we talked about earlier.. are you okay? It seems like the more I learn about you the tougher it must be.. The fact you had to stay composed had to have made it more difficult."

Pawo

"It certainly was not easy to speak about my mother without expressing emotion but..this is part of who I am supposed to be, after all. These are just things that I must learn to accept as a shaman. To not be heartless..but to not be heartfelt either." Pawo replies, with a bit of sorrow finally being felt through his words.

London

London holds his head down. "I'm sorry. I should have picked a better time to talk about everything." His hands clench the wool struggling with the words he wishes to say. "But, I'm glad I got to know you better. This whole time, I had the wrong impression of you. I thought you were just trying to act nice to feign a mutual trust with everyone, but it was really me who was trying to force a friendship between us without actually getting to know you. After everything that's happened, I really respect you. It must have been difficult to proceed in spite of those feelings, but you did it anyway - all for my sake.. I want to thank you for believing in me." London lowers his head more, repositioning himself into a crouching bow. "Thank you.."

Pawo

In that moment, Pawo could feel his heart sink. He thought about the moments of his childhood that he recollected earlier. Were he a child again, he would have hugged London tightly. Now, Pawo was at the point where he had to control any impulse, especially after a ritual. He simply smiled at London, desperately fighting back the need to show any visible sign of pain. "I..respect you too. I trust and believe in what you had to say. It was my pleasure to help you find the spirit. Did it..tell you anything?"

London

London rubs his eyes before replying. He wasn't getting sentimental. There was just some dirt in them, that's all. "Um, yeah. Well.. actually I did most of the talking..." He was starting to get a sense of deja vu. He really needs to stop hogging all of the conversations. "We talked about many things.. It was surreal. It turns out that wasn't the first time I've spoken with it, and I guess I whined then as much as I do now. It made fun of me for it. Thinking back, it gave me the same advice back then, too. Some of that 'remember to stay strong even in the darkest of situations' type thing and to 'never lose sight of the truth'. The usual stuff." He waved a hand.

Being so caught up in the memory of the event made the next thing London say boom out. "Wait, Pawo!!!" He threw his arms up, grabbing Pawo's own hands in a strong grip. "It said it would reawaken its blessing for me!! Do you know what that means?!-- I'm going to be able to tell the future again!!!" His arms then went around the shaman in a quick tight hug before he held them in the air laughing at his own victory and fell back down.

Pawo

Pawo listened to London describing the spirit with great pleasure. It was satisfying to see him connect to the stag spirit in such a deep and emotional way. "Spirits have a lot of wisdom to of-" Pawo is cut off by London's sudden burst of happiness. London's joyousness felt very warm when he hugged Pawo. It shocked Pawo to see someone react so positively after a ritual. And...it sure was contagious. Amongst it all, the pleasure of happiness was what Pawo loved the most about his shamanic practices. It reminded him of his childhood, of his mother. Yet all the years after her departure from his life, he forced himself to repress it because of what his mentor said to him. He always thought she was right but...he was starting to not relate to her way of thinking at all. The emotional conflict in his head tugged at his heart strings and he reflexively started to tear up. "I am so happy for you, London. I am glad I was able to help you with finding something so dear to you."

London

From his low vantage point, London somehow noticed the shaman's tears and sat up. "Pawo, are you okay?.." He asked quietly, and then spoke more clearly. "You know, you've done a lot for me today. If it's possible, I'd like to repay you one day, so please don't be shy about asking for help if you ever need it. I'll listen to anything."

Pawo

"Ah.." Pawo scratched by his eye. "Sorry, it might have been a reflex after holding in so many emotions in the spirit realm..and I am very happy" He shakes his head to regain his composure. "I am fine. But thank you..London."

London

"It's okay. I mean, I'm sure it's okay to cry a little sometimes, right? As long as you're not doing a ritual, I mean." It probably wasn't his place to say that, but he did it anyway. He checked his pockets for anything like a handkerchief, but the best he had to offer was a scarf - and it was still slightly wet. Then London remembered he never did change clothes and sneezed as if on cue. Bad timing. "Uh, we should probably head back.. But I was having fun talking with you.."

With no explanation, he started to dig through his back pack trying to find something.

Pawo

"No..it is fine, crying is not something I am fond of doing.." She would get so mad if she knew I did again. Pawo thought, as he felt a chill run down his spine. "Yes me too. Let us go back. May I please have my coat back?"

London

"Haha, true enough. I can relate to that. Just give me one more minute, and I'll be off it in a sec." He gives two different time intervals. Bards are not to be trusted. As London rummages through his stuff, Pawo notices something white fall to the ground near him.

Pawo

"Oh, London, you dropped something." Pawo leans in to pick up whatever it was

London

As Pawo leans closer, he notices it is a fabric with frills on the hinges. With rapid speed, London swept the cloth from under the shaman's fingertips and placed it back in the bag. "It's nothing." He says casually, but if Pawo is familiar with such a thing, he can unquestionably say... those were a pair of panties.

Pawo

"Oh, my apologies." Pawo tries his best not to judge and forget about what he just saw.

London

"There!" London pulls something from his bag and turns back to Pawo, holding out a hand to reveal the sewing kit. "When I said I wanted to help you, it wasn't a one-time offer. Please consider it if you ever need anything in the future."

He glances down at the coat. "I could probably help with this, but I think Beaford needs a chance to redeem himself. I'm sure he was just having an off-day. You know, it's funny. The reason I initially left the job to him was because I wanted to give him a chance to show off in front of you, but look how that turned out. Isn't it ironic?" London finally stood up and freed the coat from the ground and then lifted it to hand it back to Pawo. Wow, that wool is as heavy as it looks..

Pawo

Pawo put on the coat as he listened to London. Again, it started ripping at the seams. "He mentioned he had a friend who can help me as well but..it looks like it keeps tearing." He looked down at the coat, a bit embarrassed.

London

London sweats. The damage was worse than he realized. Lying down on the thing and searching through his bag definitely didn't help... (But he couldn't deny the wool made a comfortable seat.) "You should give it a rest until it gets patched up. Hopefully lugging the thing through town won't be too much trouble. I can help carry it for you if you want."

Pawo

"Oh..maybe you are right." Pawo takes off his coat now and takes off the sleeve of the robe beneath it. "It is all right, I can carry it. Thank you anyways."

London

He nodded with a smile, and the two headed back to the inn.