#tldr i. have emotions

[fourteenfifteen]

ficlet based off pld24!! big spoilers do not click unless you want to be big spoiled

also cw for discussion and depiction of death and for canon typical gross stuff (iykyk)

she doesn’t have to say it. words for a long time have not been everything for them. she steps into belgard’s hollow center, and the silks inside her shift like a sigh. “are you sure?” she asks into signet’s head.

signet reaches. takes a stretch of fabric into her hand, steps easily out into thin air and lets it catch her. the silks go to her, just barely manipulated into her hands, nothing anyone else could see.

she leans back, back, and belgard catches her. drapes around her, until everything is red silk. “they need me still.”

“they don’t have to.” the fabric ripples around her. “you can… let them figure it out. you can say no.”

signet closes her eyes. “there’s more i can do.”

“you don’t have to.”

“i know,” she says, and she does. a hard won lesson, that she could let herself be. “still. there’s- i can help. things are getting worse again.”

she breathes, steadying. “i’m worried, belgard. that they’d bring you back if they found you. the cadent thinks the same.”

instead of words, belgard gives her feelings: sympathy and sadness and a desire to reassure.

“i know you’d be okay,” signet says. “that isn’t the point. i don’t- who knows what they’d do to you. and- and none of the rest of them deserve that either. there should be a way for anyone who wants an ending to have it.”

a bit of silk stretches in to graze her cheek. “and your ending?”

“the waking cadent said,” she starts, “that she and i will have to become one being. and that i will need to die for that to happen. so some part of me-“

“right.”

“and i won’t be alone,” she says quietly. “i… i’ll want for you still. your companionship. but it won’t be like when i lost you before.”

there’s a long pause. “if you’re sure.”

~

belgard dies first. the waking cadent takes her apart, precisely powering her down and removing the parts of her that were her. belgard doesn’t feel pain exactly, but signet can feel the changes in her psyche, feel her shift and weaken down to nothing.

(it’s painful to have said their goodbyes. strange, too, when belgard’s first death had still left her semi-conscious and semi-present. she is gone, and signet can feed her absence.)

when belgard’s last sensors go down, they entomb her. the resting places they’ve set out on palisade’s moon are mostly more accessible than this, just in case there is a true emergency. for belgard, though, they put stone around her until even signet barely knows where she is. the only marker is a little gap, leading into the dark cockpit, the silks truly still for once.

after she’s gone, really gone, the waking cadent looks to signet. she reaches out a hand and in it forms a blade of ice. “are you ready, excerpt?”

“i’m not an excerpt anymore,” she says.

“of course not. you’re divine yourself.”

signet rolls her eyes. “yes, i’m ready.”

she closes her eyes. the cadent moves swiftly- signet barely feels herself be cleft in two.

~

the fleet had taken things from her before. digits and limbs and organs lost in belgard’s maintenance, detritus from her long life turned into relics. it isn’t the first time, then, that she’s come to looking through a new set of eyes. somehow, though, she can feel the difference.

are you there, excerpt? the waking cadent thinks to her.

must we use titles for each other? signet thinks back. or even names? it’s just us here.

of course. the waking cadent sounds amused. even that may be… inaccurate in its implied distinction.

her corpse looks like any other. the process of being subsumed into the waking cadent has taken longer than she expected, perhaps, because her blood and viscera has soaked into the stone a bit. her hair is matted with it.

they laboriously pick up the two halves. spare blood drips after them as they carry it over to the hole in the tomb.

any words? the waking cadent asks.

she drops the corpse in. she imagines it there, settled in among the streaming lengths of red silk like it was its nest. then, she reaches down and pulls the hatch shut.

i guess not.

[transsongtaewon]

I think the way baby Yoohyun cried is sooo cute, especially since it was all crocodile tears. Here is this tiny little guy deciding to get his way by crying because he saw it on tv and then his hyung, also a tiny little guy, starts crying too because he was so startled and itty bitty Yoohyun never anticipated that reaction so he just sort of stops crying so hyung will stop crying and this was never meant to end this way.

[wahhzo]

eddsworld if it was cooler

extra doodles of another possible scenario. edward and thorde and their two very horrible humans

[royalarchivist]

Jaiden: Cucurucho, you have a lot of power, right?

Cucurucho: ...I don't know. Maybe.

Roier: Ah... Yes, you know, don't act like a dumbass, you have it. You have it, man. Eh?

Jaiden: Is there a way for us to protect all the Eggs? Do you know? I don't want anything to happen to the Eggs that happened to Bobby.

Cucurucho: Ha ha ha

Roier: WHAT? [Smacks Cucurucho]

Jaiden: [Bops him] Headpats.

Cucurucho: Maybe.

Jaiden: [Continues to bop him] Headpats. C'mon, I can get it out of you! Headpats! Chin scratches! Belly rubs!

Roier: [Joins Jaiden in bopping Cucurucho, chuckling and laughs]

Jaiden: Yeah? He's comin' around!

[Jaiden and Roier both laugh]

[assmaster-8000]

𝑪𝒍𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒐 ✧

✧ Regret

✧ Rememberance

✧ Reunion

✧

All men are equal in death. To Clotho, such is their reigning tenet.

And to Clotho, a man like them sheds no tear for the departed. A necromancer need not fear death, for it is a cycle devouring upon itself, and they are the ringmaster of this primal instinct. As in— need, should, must. One must not fear, one must not ache or pine or rage. A snake is still a snake. Death is still a wild animal. Show your soft palm within the ribcage of your fist, and it will not yield to you. Clotho, for all their cool expertise, knows this through trial and error.

All men are equal in death. So this mantra becomes their epitaph for every sentiment buried under the grave of their tongue.

It's a corpse beneath the floorboards; this memory. The tremble in their fingers - the shortness of breath. Their prized coherence pooling out their ears like brains on a sidewalk. Black is all they've known the world to be, but this time it is blue. Saliva spilling past the shore of her lips. Piercing red lightning streaking through the sky of her eyes. She does not respond when they shake her. By God— what have you done?

All men are equal. Their mother was no man, no monster. Mother, simple and sweet, was cruel enough to damn her. As they were.

Their tears come soft on the linen of her robes. She is softer still. The used crowd of spellbooks and artifacts and alchemical instruments behind them laugh hollow at the display. Wire is taut, so is cloth. Neither will hold them now, after destroying the muscle that stretched to cradle their wretched self. So they bind her in her day shroud. And they bury her in the belly of the primordial Mother.

On her grave, they plant a singular Asphodel. Their one specimen.

And when they shakily kneel back to look down at the mount of soil, for a moment - just a moment, their nails slip back beneath the dirt. Back to where home was.

A moment was all it took. Soon as it comes, they rip it out her shabby resting grounds and lay it on their crown. That brain-shaped gilded mausoleum of theirs. So it has remained all this while - so has she, with that memory just as equal as a dead man.

But you know they never stay where they're supposed to for long.

In the land of the dead, asphodels are for the gray in between. They are the sustenance of the dead. They are my regrets, following you to the grave. O, Mother. You raised a walking corpse. As long as I hold you in my heart, the grave goes where I go; and dead men tell no tales, so... I love you. Isn't that the worst thing you've ever heard?

[madbard]

Putting this in your askbox cuz I know you're also an Epic the Musical fan but yknow I think if Loop saw that musical they'd get very emotional about Would You Fall In Love With Me Again, just in the context of thinking of their old party... :'>

Oh, a thousand times, yes.

I’ve been thinking about Epic and ISAT a lot recently, and honestly I think the entire musical would be such an intense experience for the entire party, but especially Siffrin and Loop. After all, Epic is, at its core, the story of someone who loses himself while desperately trying to return home.

(I know you were talking about ‘Would You Fall In Love With Me Again’ specifically, but this is about to get really out of hand. Also, I’m going to frame Epic as a musical that Loop, Siffrin and the post-canon party (likely sans Bonnie considering some of the subject material) are watching.)

Starting off with the Troy Saga, we have some striking similarities between Odysseus and Loop and Sif already - we know he’s been away from his home island for years, and so badly wants to see his family again. The homesickness here would resonate with them, I think, but the situation is also very different since Odysseus has such strong memories of his home and his family, and his home still very much exists. So that creates a little bit of distance as they are watching. ‘Open Arms’ would probably hit pretty hard though - I could see Polites’ encouragements reminding them of the party trying to help them after the loops. (Note for ‘Warrior of the Mind’ - I think this song would start some of the party off on the wrong foot with Athena. I think Mirabelle and Isabeau at least would be put off by the line “I see you changing from how I’ve designed you” as a bad thing. Here we have this character trying to change for the better, and another character is telling him that that’s a bad thing and he should stay the same? Yeah, they might not be the biggest Athena fans at this point.)

But then… oh, the Cyclops Saga is going to be uh… interesting. I wonder when any members of the party might have encountered a giant… led a fight against said giant… tried to barter with the giant to find a nonviolent solution for everyone… thought for a moment that they had succeeded… realized they had failed in a terrifying moment when they were told they would be the final one to die… witnessed helplessly as that giant brutally crushed one of the people they love most in the world as that person called out their name in agony… (The first time I listened to Epic after finishing Act 3 I had to pause it for a minute because I kept visualizing Bonnie during ‘Survive’ and it was doing psychic damage.) As much as I like to imagine the party watching Epic, I can’t imagine Siffrin watching that scene without having a panic attack. After that I doubt they are finishing the musical. (Now, we do have a fair bit to go and fascinating songs to think about so for the sake of this post maybe they were somehow all distracted during that scene? I don’t know, for whatever reason they keep watching.) If the party didn’t like Athena before, they definitely don’t like her after she abandons Odysseus - though I could see Odile giving her a little more grace in that regard, as she might see a bit of herself in Athena’s intelligence, the age difference between her and Odysseus and her clear difficulties with friendship and emotions.

The Ocean Saga is called than the Cyclops Saga. I could see Siffrin and Loop exchanging some looks at the “you rely on wit and people die on it” line but while there are some parallels between that song and their own discussion post Act 3, the similarities are ultimately far outweighed by the differences. Then we have the ultimate paranoia/insomnia/exhaustion/homesickness anthem in ‘Keep Your Friends Close,’ which I could see Siffrin and Loop getting pretty invested in.

As much as I love the Circe Saga, I’m not sure the party is getting much from it aside from enjoying the story and music.

Then we have the Underworld Saga and STARS. Loop is NOT going to be handling this well. ‘The Underworld’ is an absolute nightmare - gotta love being haunted by the screams of your friends that you couldn’t protect, tee-hee! Odysseus’ mom dying while waiting for him to come home is also an intense scene considering how little Loop and Siffrin know about what might’ve happened to their own parents when the island disappeared, but that scene is also just generally heartbreaking. ‘No Longer You’ is where things become viscerally painful for Loop - after all, there is a reason there are at least two full length Loop-centric animatics of that song. I want to ramble about this one but… “we’ve suffered and sailed through the toughest of hells, now you tell us our effort’s for nothing” and “I see a man who gets to make it home alive, but it’s no longer you” speak for themselves. The universe doesn’t care how much you suffered - someone is going to get that happy ending that you fought and died and bled for, but it’s not you. Not anymore. Then we reach ‘Monster’ and Odysseus has reached a state of self-loathing and dehumanization that Siffrin and Loop are far too familiar with. The death of diplomacy in exchange for brutality matches with post-Act 3 Siffrin, but it also aligns with Loop, and their willingness to do whatever it takes to help Siffrin escape the loops, even if that means sacrificing the party. And of course the perceived loss of humanity is very applicable to Loop, always.

On to the Thunder Saga, and Odysseus’ rage in ‘Different Beast’ is his own personal Memory of Sadnesses moment. This saga is just… tough to listen to for the entire party I think. The way Odysseus and Eurylochus’ friendship falls apart - that still hurts so much every time I listen and I’m sure it would be painful for them as well. (I could probably elaborate more but this post is already far longer than I had expected and I’m starting to run out of steam so I’ll leave it here.)

The party has made it to the Wisdom Saga! Odd opinion incoming, but I think ‘Legendary’ would resonate with Isabeau a lot - a song about this young, less-than-intimidating guy who desperately wants to be bigger, braver, stronger, the kind of person that can protect the people he cares about. Also, I could see Telemachus activating some protective instincts in the party, considering how some of his eagerness and fighting attitude are mirrored in Bonnie as well. ‘Little Wolf’ and ‘We’ll Be Fine’ would cause a massive shift in Mirabelle and Isabeau’s opinion of Athena - the character who opposed change at the beginning has changed for the better! Athena’s regret in ‘We’ll Be Fine’ would also hit really close to home for Odile, I think - “maybe if I’d made a different call, maybe if I hadn’t missed it all, maybe he’d be fine” aligns so painfully well with her own guilt and regret for not being able to figure out the loops and help Siffrin sooner. I think ‘Love In Paradise’ would be a surprisingly tough listen for Loop and Siffrin. The context is so different, but this song contains lyrics like “under my spell we’re stuck in paradise, no one can come or go - not til the end of time, there is no way, you’re mine, all mine.” Calypso is so scared of being alone that she traps Odysseus on the island with her for years - meanwhile, Odysseus is slowly broken down by his grief and his desperation to go home. For Loop and Siffrin, there’s an uncomfortable understanding of both characters, I think. (The entire party loves Athena after ‘God Games,’ I don’t make the rules.)

Next up, Vengeance Saga. This is where things start to get intense. As one might guess from the fact that I made a Loop-centric lyric comic for ‘Not Sorry For Loving You,’ I think they would relate to this song on a visceral level. “Someone came by today, they said they’re taking you away, that you’re not mine to save, and sooner I won’t get to see your face” - this so perfectly fits with Loop’s realizing Siffrin won their happy ending and is going to be leaving Dormont with THEIR family. Not theirs to save. Not anymore. “I spent my whole life here, was cast away when I was young, alone for a hundred years, I had no friends but the sky and sun” - this is literally an exaggerated description of their own life, washing up on the shore of Vaugarde as a teenager, completely alone with no memory of ever having been known or loved. “So when you washed ashore, I thought for sure that you were my dream come true - I thought I knew” - Loop/Siffrin being so desperately lonely when they met the party and bonding with them so deeply and desperately, starved for love and connection to the point where they clung TOO hard, loved TOO defensively. And then we reach the final lines of the song and I honestly think the comic explains better than I could exactly how perfect those lyrics are for Loop. At the end of this song, Calypso is left sobbing on a beach, watching as Odysseus sails into a future without her in it, with people that love him, so desperately lonely and full of the knowledge that nobody will ever, ever love her again. Yeah… I think this song might mess with Loop a bit. And then, of course, we have ‘Six Hundred Strike.’ This is another song that I imagine Siffrin for - specifically Act 5 Siffrin fighting the King. “How does it feel to be helpless? How does it feel to know pain? I watched my friends die in horror - watching as they were all slain!” Honestly, this song is a big Act 5 moment for Odysseus - except that he actually defeats Poseidon. I can’t imagine that this song wouldn’t cause at least a shudder in Siffrin and Loop.

And now, finally, the Ithaca Saga. (Which is what you were actually talking about. This got extremely out of hand.) I’ve mentioned the party would feel protective of Telemachus. They are not handling ‘Hold Them Down’ well. ‘Odysseus’ is interesting to think about actually, because for whatever reason this has become such an Act 5 Isabeau loops AU song to me. I imagine that an Isabeau loops AU would involve him undergoing a change that mirrors Odysseus a lot, becoming steadily colder rather than becoming manic like Siffrin does. I think he’d cope with the loops by essentially shutting down his emotions, using his intellect to be a truly terrifying force in combat. Under it all though I think there’d still be a core protective rage - “my mercy has long since drowned” vibes. He’s going to protect his family, even if it means becoming a monster. Alright, AU talk aside, the fact that the suitors literally refer to Telemachus as “the kid” in this song (as they’re planning to maim him to control Odysseus) is going to mess with Loop and Siffrin at least a little bit. Moving onto ‘I Can’t Help But Wonder,’ for whatever reason this song makes me think of Bonnie and Nille. I actually have a half-sketched lyric comic with this song set to their reunion, but only time will tell if I ever actually get around to finishing it.

Alright. We’ve made to the song this ask was actually talking about.

‘Would You Fall In Love With Me Again’ is a beautifully painful song to think about in connection with Loop because it is such a cruel inversion of what actually happens. Odysseus returns home, changed and certain Penelope won’t love him anymore, convinced that when she looks at him she will see a monster. But when she sees him again, she sees her husband. She sees him, she recognizes him, she tells him she still loves him, that he is still the same person, that she will fall in love with him over and over. She tells him everything Loop wishes they could hear from their own party. In reality, the party didn’t recognize Loop, because they aren’t the same person anymore. In canon, Loop never gets the confirmation that the party loves them still. They know the party is grateful, but that’s only because they were able to help them find Siffrin. Siffrin thought the party loved him after he helped each of them during the friend quests, and it’s only after Act 5 that they realize that the party loved them already, and will continue to love them even if they mess up. Loop never gets that confirmation. As they fade back into the Universe, they do so knowing the party will not grieve them.

Part of my love for post-canon Loop content stems from my desire to see Loop asking, in their own way, without even realizing it, if the party would fall in love with them again.

The answer is yes. No matter how long it’s been, and how much Loop has changed, I believe that the answer is yes.

[moonchild-in-blue]

Some more thoughts on Caramel, but this time isn't so sad - more hopeful than anything I suppose.

I mentioned before how the general thematic parallels BTS' Black Swan, but after letting it sit for a while, this is actually Interlude: Shadow, almost to a T. I'm mostly musing out lout, and this is a bit all over the place with prose and comparisons, so. It's going under a cut, feel free to skip it if you'd like.

(but if there are any ARMYs here in the Sleep Token side... pls walk with me on this 🥺💜)

So. Caramel. A song about the dark side of fame, and the subversion of a lifelong dream turned into nightmare. About the loss of privacy and identity, about being under blinding limelights; about the steep price artists (in this case Vessel) pay for recognition.

About being hurt by very hands that raised him up. Exploitation, gossip, entitlement, etc etc. Icarus suspended near the sun, burning but never falling.

Interlude: Shadow is about exactly that. About reaching the top and realising how lonely and precarious that position is. A barbed wire tight rope over an expecting amphitheatre.

You don't need to listen to the song, but I'd invite you to take a look at the translated lyrics.

Suga references several lyrics of past songs (most notably, their debut song No Dream), where they used to dream about the life they now have, about being able to make the music they want and having it be listened and received by millions - and how bitter that dream has become.

Both Caramel and Shadow talk about the fear and anxiety felt while being on such an elevated stage. The fall is too high, the expectations are too much - but so are the blessings received.

There's this recurring theme of - "I got what I've always wanted, so it'd be selfish of me to complain. I'll endure and smile and dance through it all, because the other option is to turn away from it all."

The key difference in them is that Shadow, like its name, focuses on the two conflicting personalities of the artists - the person they are on stage, the person they are beneath that mask, and how those two co-exist together. Who is the shadow and who is the self (which was the whole theme of their Map Of The Soul series).

Meanwhile Caramel seems less like a me versus me case, and more of a me as a whole versus the audience. Who I am, and who I am forced to be. Which I guess are two different sides of the same problem, simply from different perspectives.

(Black Swan is more about the loss of love and passion for the art stemming from the pressures of fame, which do see a little bit here but not quite. I won't be surprised to find this theme in other future ST songs though. It certainly points that way)

Now, Shadow is almost entirely focused on that - the dark side of it all, the struggle, the fear. The Map Of The Soul series (Persona, and it's successor Seven, where Shadow is from) is a complex exploration of the various sides of "the self", and how that applies to artists (obviously BTS but any creative will relate to that A LOT).

As such, the hopeful, preserving sides are confined to different songs - the most prevalents being On, and We Are Bulletproof: The Eternal.

Both of these mention how, despite it all, they reached their destination and will continue to walk alongside their fans, through blood and pain and agony. They promise us they will stay and endure, and ask us to do the same along them.

(for context, this album came out early 2020, after many talks of a possible disbandment given the amount of pressure and scrutiny they were facing for becoming too famous too fast. You see the connection.)

THIS is the message that prevails above all, and the more I listen to Caramel, the more it dawns on me that same urge to stay and carry on together.

So stick to me Stick to me like caramel Walk beside me till you feel nothin' as well

Even when he's free-falling, even if he feels trapped and backed into corners, the thing that stands out, very name of the song, is Caramel. Stay with me. I'll continue to dance, but do it with me. Come to the show, sing along. Stick to me.

And. Ugh. I don't know man. There isn't really a poetic way to end this, not groundbreaking final conclusion. Just. Yeah. It's the same as it always has been. We're in this together.

It's hard on his end (and while I am focusing on Vessel, this absolutely does equally applies to the four of them), and because it's hard, he asks us to accompany him. There really isn't much we, as fan, can (or should) do aside from showing up and singing along - both literally and metaphorically. It's a "My struggle is my own, but thank you for listening and sitting beside me".

That's what's it's all about. Connection. Mutual understanding. Crying together and shaking some ass. As much as I feel for him as a regular person deserving of privacy and respect, I'm grateful for being able to enjoy the music and have fun with the rest of this community if you will. By putting out a song as direct as this one, they are trusting us with their struggle and vulnerability, so the best thing we can do in return is simply show up where it matters.

To circle back to that BTS connection, Caramel is MOTS all in one. The ugly and the good all together. And much like them, it all goes back to their core foundation of doing it all together. It's Young Forever. It's Spring Day.

Pass the end of winter's cold Until the spring day comes again Until the flowers bloom again Please stay, please stay there a little longer

[synthshenanigans]

Days gone without a new chonny jash song killing me, my emotions, stealing my wallet, my heart, my home & me thanking said song for it anyway: 0

[millidew]

maizuru and milsiril are my favorite fucked up dungeon meshi mother figures

[kalied0skull]

Is your endgame in the Soda DX blog Stevepop? Or will we forever receive little tiny bits of one sided or yearning?

HAHAA okay listen listen

yes and no ; you're kind of right there

i WANT to make stevepop canon in the DX blog lore, but unfortunately it's very heavily one-sided on Steve's end currently — soda's still stuck in the "considering" phase

so for the time being, it's really just yearning, but i do hope to have a full day of stevepop figuring themselves out romantically

I've been planning and plotting here and there... when the time comes and i get bored of them pining 💀

i am a sucker for dragging on love stories because i have this weird personal vendetta against The Moment The Couple Gets Together (couldn't tell you why)

[toruq]

i apologise for my extended absence... especially from art; i have been experiencing quite the (lengthy) artist's block. once i find my digital tools i hope to resume comics and other pieces

may this also serve as a reminder that if you wish to look at any of my pieces, my portfolio is organized under my '#my art' tag, or 'drawings' on my blog for desktop users (:

[blackjackkent]

Rakha follows Jaheira quietly into the house and is even more surprised to find quite a motley collection of people waiting for them. Two small children, both seemingly human, one of whom is the girl with the wooden sword from the porch. A half-elf about Shadowheart's age. And - most startlingly - a young man with bright pink hair who appears to be like Rakha herself, a half-orc.

All of them round abruptly to stare as Jaheira comes to a halt next to the dining room table.

"Oh, Malar's mark, here we go," Jaheira mumbles ruefully.

The half-elf clicks her tongue sardonically, raising an eyebrow. "Are we quite sure she hasn't actually died this time, brother?" she asks the half-orc. "She looks dead."

The half-orc laughs. His attitude is overall more relaxed than the elf's, although he's watching Jaheira very carefully. "Smells it too," he says lightly, pulling a dramatic face that makes one of the little ones laugh.

Jaheira rolls her eyes. "It has been a hard road!" she says, waving a hand in mock-dismissal. "But I can clip you both around the ear to prove I am no ghost, if it would help?"

The half-elf looks as if, at some other moment, she might want to laugh - but it can't quite get past the tension strained tight in her like a length of pulled rope. "Forgive us, mother," she shoots back sardonically. "We're just surprised you still know how to find your way home."

Rakha's eyes narrow in puzzlement. Mother? Jaheira has never mentioned having children. (In the utter blankness of her mind and memory, she has very little understanding of (among other things) genetics, and in this moment, it doesn't entirely occur to her that it's very unlikely that Jaheira could be a mother by blood to all these children at once. But she knows enough to know that it's surprising that they have never come up.)

Cast a glance at Minsc.

Uncertainly she looks sideways at the berserker next to her, a question in her eyes.

Minsc just shrugs. "Some battles, even Boo is not brave enough to fight," he whispers.

"Rion--" Jaheira starts to say, but is cut off by the young half-elf, who has the sudden air of a restrained flood whose dam has suddenly cracked apart.

"A Sending spell can carry twenty-five words," she snaps, looking past Jaheira's shoulder to meet Rakha's eyes. "Do you know how many Jaheira's only message contained, in all that time she's been away?" Her jaw works. "Seven."

Rakha begins to understand why Boo feels ill-equipped for this conversation. "...What did she say?" she asks carefully, feeling as if she is edging around an explosive sigil in danger of going off.

"The message said - 'I'm sorry. You know what to do,'" Rion growls.

"So why haven't you done it?" Jaheira cries. She is clearly trying for the 'leadership' tone Rakha has heard her take with the Harpers, but there's a catch underneath her voice. "You were supposed to get the young ones out of the city!"

"And you were supposed to be dead!" Rion fires back at once. "That's what your oh-so-stoic message meant, yes?" Silence. Her shoulders sag and she rubs her fingertips at the bridge of her nose. "Yet here you are," she goes on more quietly. "So... what happened out there."

Jaheira relaxes just slightly. "I got my skin saved by this one," she says, gesturing at Rakha. "We've come to take the fight to the cult - which is exactly why you all cannot be here!"

Rion tilts her head - and then grins slowly and deliberately, folding her arms. "Why?" she asks innocently. "You plan on winning, don't you?" She glances at Rakha again. "You're the one who saved her, so tell me - are we all doomed?"

Rakha has absolutely never had a conversation even remotely like this before. There are obviously undercurrents to it that she does not understand, but even the surface facts that she can parse are complex enough. These are Jaheira's children. Jaheira disappeared to the Shadowlands without warning and only communicated when she thought she was about to die. They were supposed to leave the city and hide while the cult rolled through, but they disobeyed.

Are we all doomed?

A good question, really. It twinges with the worm in her skull and the beast in her brain, both of whom would like to see the world driven before them in a haze of fire and blood. For Rakha herself... the question is more challenging.

"The cult is powerful," she admits slowly. "It's... not going to be an easy fight."

Rion looks at her for a moment, and then smirks, a fire flashing through her eyes that looks very much like the expression Rakha has seen on Jaheira's face in the moment before battle. "So fight," she says dryly. "That's what all you heroes and Harpers are for, isn't it?"

Jaheira sighs. A smile seems to be tugging at the corner of her lip, battling with an air of exasperation. "You are a very irritating girl."

Again that click of the tongue from Rion, and a sharp shake of the head. "Ah-ah!" She's visibly relaxing, but her eyes are still serious, a little guarded. "This isn't your house, remember? You'll keep a civil tongue under our roof - if we let you stay at all."

The half-orc laughs. "Have mercy, sister," he says lightly. "She's old, after all."

"*So* old," agrees one of the little ones.

"She can stay," pronounces the other - the one with the wooden sword, Fig. "But only if she brought home presents."

Rion chuckles, ruffling Fig's hair gently. "Seems I'm out-voted," she says, raising an eyebrow at Jaheira. "See, mother? That is how you go about talking things through with your family." She draws a breath, lets it out heavily, and casts an eye over them all, and the mud and doppelganger blood splattered across them all.

"Now if there's more to discuss... then bloody well come in. And wipe your boots."

[petrichal]

obligatory "Oda thank you for sharing this world with us" post

[hand-of-devotion]

I keep rotating certain aspects of the Evontra'vir-Ashton conversation and there's one specific thing I see other people taking away from it that is lacking a certain amount of nuance that stuck with me.

Specifically in regards to Ashton's views and how they parallel his fathers.

It should be obvious to everyone at this point that Ashton's stubborn hypocritical "refusal to the call" rooted in his anti divine/fate beliefs need some genuine reflection. They are important and they are aware of it but they don't want any of the hard to grapple with things associated. He needs to think about what it is he can actually do moving forward rather than getting caught up in what he feels he's owed.

However! One very important thing that I keep seeing others ignore or maybe just not even pick up on is THIS.

Efterin's entitlement came from his own zealots ego. The powers he believed he was promised an understanding and control over were NEVER his.

Ashton's entitlement towards the situation is rooted in what was done TO him. Those powers are in fact his. They have been there since he was a child due to a ritual he had no say in. That ritual physically altered his body and killed off nearly everyone in his entire village.

Which. Again. Just because they HAVE those powers doesn't mean they were ever guaranteed mastery over them. Certainly not without putting in effort. It has never been a "gift", even if part of them wishes it was. There is likely never going to be a reality in which the full-blown titan level abilities just ACTIVATE for him with full ease. Moving forward. He has a base level of info. Which he likely didn't find satisfying (but given the situation, there was never really a "satisfying" answer). Now they need to just. Look forward and inward. Make some changes if they want some changes.

But yeah. At the end of the day. Regardless of parallels and a real need for character reflection and growth. Saying that Ashton is "the same" as Efterin seems. Fairly reductive, all things considered.

[radio-writes]

These asks seemed similar to me so I thought I'd tackle them in one go.

What I think of Alastor The Radio Demon

I've never really done a character analysis before so I'm not sure how to go about it. Honestly, I had to rewrite this several times to trim it down. 

I put little footnotes here and there for parts that I think ruined the flow of thought, and weren't essential but still figured were worth a mention. Corresponding footnotes can be found below the lower divider for any interested.

The way I see Alastor, and how I try to write him, is that he's smart—terrifyingly so—and emotional. 

I mean we all know he's basically a textbook manipulator. He's charming, great at reading people, and brilliant enough to know exactly what to say and when to say it. 

He's so gifted at charming people that a fair portion of the fandom's basically head over heels for him—despite the fact that based on what we've seen in the series, he's an objectively despicable person.

And he's so good at manipulating people that, again, a huge portion of the fandom thinks he actually sees the hotel gang as friends/family now. Hell—a lot of people even believed him when he said he cared for Charlie like a daughter.

Add his brains and his skill of wrapping people around his clawed finger, to his god-complex1 and selfishness, and what you'll see is that, on paper, he should absolutely be the big bad of the show.

Except...he currently isn't; and I don't think he will be although it would surely be fun to see how that would go.

Because as much as he is terrifyingly evil, he is also, extremely driven by his emotions.

I know it sounds like a bit of an ass-pull.

Alastor being emotional? The same demon that doesn't drop his smile even when having a whole mental breakdown? The same demon who doesn't bat an eye at a hotel patron dying?

Well, yes. Because there's more to feelings other than sadness and love and care.

There's anger, there's hope, there's desperation, there's pride, there's hate.

And I think Alastor is absolutely driven by these and more.

As said by the most darling, delightful, dangerous overlord over one side of the pentagram,

"words are cheap, but actions, they speak the truth."

As much as Alastor wants to think he's in control, we've seen his emotions come first before rational thinking. 

His pride has absolutely taken over him. He thinks he's above it all, untouchable, unreachable. Because he's so clever, so strong, so charming, and it has more or less gotten him everything he's wanted.

But it's this pride of his that has also lead to his most glaring flaws.

Alastor's first instinct was to lower Lucifer in any way that he could—leverage whatever he did have that Lucifer didn't (height, a relationship with Charlie etc.). Because Al knew that Lucifer was inherently stronger than him, better than him—and he hated that.

His pride couldn't stand the blow, and that—along with feelings of irritation and likely insecurity— is what drove his actions for most of that episode; overtaking even his usually smart wits.2

But it's not just negative emotions.

If Alastor being a mama's boy is still canon, then even his relationships are steered by emotions too, whether he's aware of it or not.

His love for his mother influences his biases towards women. How he judges and approaches them miles more fairly than he does men.

Hell, his whole persona—the transatlantic accent, the radio theme, the over the top silly jokes, his laugh even!—all a by product of his passion for being a radio host.

But why does being emotional mean Alastor won't be the antagonist in the show, you ask?

Well because, being emotional is such a humane thing. It shows weakness, vulnerability. Something the show has often used as leeway to develop and redeem its characters.

While I don't think Alastor has the best intentions coming into the hotel—or even at the point of the season 1 finale really—I do think him being this emotional of a person shows that there is some chance of him genuinely growing fond of the gang, and then settling into the found family at some point in the future.

It may not be a conscious choice, it may take some pushing and pulling, it may take the whole run of the series, but Alastor is capable of caring. And when he feels something he feels it to a point past his own rational thinking.

Would love to see him try to betray the hotel though as some last minute attempt to maintain an evil persona.

Now this doesn't exactly mean I can see Alastor ascending into heaven not unless they drag him kicking and screaming.3 But I do think that in the end, he'll find some sort of other form of "redemption," one that he would actually like.

Perhaps it's coming to terms with the fact that he is mortal and that is okay and it doesn't mean he's any weaker or any lesser. And that even if it did, it shouldn't matter.

Honestly, I'd be more terrified of him once he's come to that point. The only weakness Alastor right now has—aside from whatever deal it is that he made—is his ego.

You could probably get away or manipulate him back if you struck at it, but once he's all done with hotel therapy time and has his emotions under control? That man's going to be unstoppable and I fear for all of hell.

Maybe Charlie should let him keep his issues after all?

1 I find Alastor's god-complex extremely ironic. Oh, he definitely has it. My best guess is that it stemmed from his serial killing days.

If the previous source saying that he killed on a weird moral code (not unlike Dexter) still holds water, then he probably saw himself as some god doing such good work for the people. Judging criminals and delivering punishment.

This whole, "I'm so strong and untouchable even amongst criminals" mentality of his was probably egged on when he got into Hell and he was able to take down big bad overlords with ease. That definitely fed his ego nicely.

Now I say I find it ironic because well, he thinks he's so above it all. So perfect and pristine—nothing like all those other sinners. He doesn't care for senseless killing or stealing jewelry or sex, no he's so much better than that, isn't he?

Well, the way I see it, he's really no different.

*cue angry radio noises*

He cares so much for all the material and outwardly things. Sure, it's not to brag or to be sexy, but you can't tell me that fucker isn't just as vain as say, someone like Velvette.

He'd probably freak if anyone caught him outside of his well tailored suits and impeccable posture. 

To Alastor, image and public opinion must mean so much more than he's willing to admit.

And all that killing the bad guys, killing the criminals, killing the scum of the earth. Oh let's not pretend he does it out of any other reason aside from the fact that he loves it. 

It's an act for power for him, not actually done to protect anybody.

And considering he eats most of his victims now, I'd say he's actually below your average criminal.

On sex—well, fine. He can have that one, I suppose.

But still, the irony that this man thinks he's so above your common everyday sinner is just hilarious to me, because he's exactly just like them.

2 I have seen people say that this is yet another one of Alastor's cleverly planned schemes. That he kept pushing only because he was confident Lucifer wouldn't smite someone Charlie cared about. Which, sure, I could see that being the case later on in their interactions.

But as an introduction? An opening line? When he didn't know Lucifer's temperament, and Lucifer didn't know how much Charlie valued/cared for Al?

No. I genuinely think, that this was purely a gamble on Alastor's part. A slip, a jab that he just had to make to save his own pride.

3 Personally, while I absolutely love all the angelic designs of Al, I really do not want him up in heaven unless it's for comedic purposes or he's grocery shopping for angel meat.

Dude was a serial killer. Granted, he killed criminals. But I've never been a fan of vigilante killings. I mean, who's to say the person he killed actually did the crime though? What if it had been someone who was actually innocent?

And even if they weren't, can you imagine if he killed your parent in your lifetime for say, stealing some bread to feed you? And you're just chilling in heaven and all of a sudden your parent's murderer is redeemed while your parent still rotted in Hell?

I would just start a riot right then and there, damnation be damned.

Besides, red suits Alastor best, anyway.

Tagging @cofeedaifuku because they were the only one out of the three that weren't on anon. Hope my fellow vien and the other anon find this answer anyway.

[thatone-churro]

TOO FEMME TO BE MASC TOO MASC TO BE FEMME WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DOOOOO 😫😫😫