#tl;dr for all of this
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Bruce, who has a problem expressing emotions because he was teased for them in school as the "crazy Wayne kid"
Bruce, who used to clutch Alfred at night and wet himself due to his nightmares.
Bruce, who got flashbacks till his mid-twenties everytime he walked down an alley.
Bruce, who would hug a weeping Dick Grayson and stay with him until the night terrors were over, humming a soft lullaby that Bruce's mother sang for him
Bruce, who hardened his mouth and his life to keep the anger in check after Jason, because he knew if he didn't every criminal would pay.
Bruce, who sees Damian chopping up shrubbery and thinks "I was far worse as a child inside, it's a good thing he's letting it out"
Bruce, who can't walk by a homeless child in the street without calling his special Wayne Foundation liaison (who he keeps on speed dial) and asking her to find "one more spot"
Bruce, who sees Selina petting kittens and robbing the rich and thinks "if I could have had a life with her, that would have been nice"
Bruce, who looks at Cass' x-rays and sees her knit bones and swears to god he will break the bones of whoever's responsible for her upbringing
Bruce, who gives Tim projects that he himself can do faster because he sees attention-starved Tim trying to please him
Bruce, who looks at Clark smiling and thinks of what he can buy for his birthday to make him smile just like that.
Bruce to his parents in their graves after not being able to catch a criminal: I'm sorry. I've failed you. I'll try harder.
People who don't know Bruce: why is that man so unfeeling.
Bad DC writers: idk just that way i guess
#batman#bruce wayne#dc comics#dick grayson#cassandra cain#robin#red hood#jason todd#tim drake#red robin#batman family#batfamily#batkids#batgirl#damian wayne#black bat#orphan#original post#dc fanfiction#rant post#batman headcanon#batfam headcanons#angst#feelings#All this is kinda canon but I don't have references for each one. Still I'd appreciate it if someone could find them and link them#TL;DR: I'm lazy#original
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in spite of everything, I had fun <3
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk leaks#yuji itadori#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#itafushikugi#jjk 271#well we made it :'>#im kind of ignoring a lot of the tag rn ghsdff ik people are upset#if u follow me u know th full extent of my thoughts on the wrapping up of the series but tl;dr the caption says it all#this series meant a lot to me and im working on a bigger tribute to fully express that love and gratitude#but take a redraw 2 tide u over for now#im just so happy. its bittersweet but those r my kids n theyre tgt and theyre okay#i think the return to normalcy is good fr them. i say let them rest n b together n process everything in time#/i'm/ satisfied with what i got out of jjk as a whole and that's all that matters to me#however ik that not everyone shares tht sentiment n thats valid!#regardless of how u feel abt the finale i hope that u at least take time to remember things abt the series that brought u joy#thats all i can say#oh yeah anyway i lightened up megumi's expression his face is so funny in that panel i can't believe he really said -_- until the very end#still tho i think megu deserves a content lil smile
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Something something Fitzjames and Hodgson are two of the most dandy-ish characters in The Terror but they're also two of the most dangerous; they've both been to war, both do the greatest damage to Tuunbaq using the weaponry they were trained in by the navy (Hodgson with the cannon and Fitzjames with the congreves), and Hodgson is also the one to kill the Inuit family, directly connecting the violence of imperialism with the gentlemanly facade it likes to use.
#the terror#the terror amc#james fitzjames#george hodgson#is this something#also I couldn't figure out how to word it in a way I liked but#I originally also had a second paragraph#about how it's also interesting#they they aren't just outwardly somewhat effeminate#but they're actually both quite sensitive#both in terms of their own emotions and in the way they treat others#as well as neither being particularly aggressive people at all#fitzjames makes a bitchy comment here and there but#he's not physically aggressive even when truly angry#and he seems to try very hard to be patient with people#hodgson of course is extremely mild-mannered#and they're also both artsy types#yet they were sent to war and did terrible things#and also experienced terrible things#and it doesn't matter what effect that might've had on them#because in the end they're just chess pieces for imperialism#tl;dr I was thinking about how hodgson and fitzjames both directly injure tuunbaq#and then realized the parallels
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I finished DS9 and here's my first offering to the fandom.
The show is just SO GOOD!! I wanna talk about it so bad, so I will spam the tags quite a bit... My bad. Also, the people who said Bashir would get better - you were right, he became a lot more fun! Plus he's got a teddy bear, that's peak character right there.
#star trek deep space nine#ds9#julian bashir#elim garak#garashir#fanart#my art#ALRIGHT - Let the yap session begin.#First of all: was part of the reason Bashir grew on me because of Garak? Yes#But I'd argue being part of a old man yaoi ship is a valid reason to like a character#This ship is crazy btw#The fact that I had to do RESEARCH to even UNDERSTAND Garashir smut is insane#Never in my life I thought I'd have to read multiple paragraphs about an alien race's anatomy (fanmade) to read smut#Also if anyone has any fic recs... I'm open to them#And I need to say this so SPOILERS FOR S7 OF DS9!!#I did not see the chemistry between Bashir and Ezri. Didn't like it at all#She got taken by the Breen and BOOM next thing we know she has feelings for him that even she didn't know about??#And he has the same even though they had a solid friendship before? Idk#Ngl I though fucking Dukat and Winn had more going on for them than those two - they at least were funny#Loved the ending though. Def my favorite STrek if I don't count TOS#TOS has a special place in my heart because I love goofy shit and it has some GEMS#But if I had to recommend a friend to watch any STrek it's definetly be DS9#Okey! I think that's all I can spam in the tags without writing out an entire dissertation#The TL;DR is Garashir is a great ship but an insane fic experience and DS9 is a damn good show
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dave k: and jopson is the steward with the prettiest blue eyes and the saddest backstory and he's the only person aboard that crozier doesn't hate and he's secretly really good with a gun and the most loyal and he's so good and trustworthy and smart and brave that he gets to be a lieutenant even tho the navy would never ever approve of promoting a steward like that but crozier loves him so much and all the other officers like him because he is so handsome and clever and nice and THEN he gets very sick so sad but he is so noble and brave about it and his captain comes into his tent to comfort him specifically and personally BUT THEN crozier is kidnapped but jopson doesn't know that because he's too sick :c so when the other men abandon him to die he thinks it's HIS CAPTAIN abandoning him and he crawls out of his tent and gets the most tragic death scene in a show of nonstop tragic death scenes wherein he hallucinates his captain ignoring him even though his captain loves him the MOST because he's the BEST BOY and he DIES and he leaves behind the most perfect beautiful skeleton and an archaelogist finds the skeleton and instinctively knows how strong and brave and handsome and wonderful he was in life and also this archaeologist is me :)
#tl;dr - i think dave might have a favorite character you guys#dave k: 'i love all my children equally. anyway JOPSON--'#amc the terror#the terror amc#thomas jopson#the terror
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I don't like that the dev community picks on people who are most fluent in Python, when the ChatGPT-using "vibe coders" are right there. At least Python babies are coding. Bully the non-coders instead.
#coding#programming#anyone that doesn't know 'vibe coding' means they asked ChatGPT to write code for them.#Same concept as 'I am a creative bc an LLM regurgitated an output for me'. 'I am an artist bc I told a machine to paint for me.'#programmer#I don't know if people even use that phrase anymore to be honest I feel like it's fallen out of use in favour of engineer or developer#ai bullshit#like. If they hire anyone that actually does know the first thing about coding in favour of a prompt engineer (so-called engineer)#they are going to realise—to costs to the tune of millions—that you can't 'vibe code' your way out of security vulnerabilities. Idiots.#I think we're a good few years out from that since anyone that still has a dev team (i.e. everyone; yes even Salesforce*) realises that#letting a text generator run your business would be MADNESS. That's not gonna happen until the AI snakeoil salesmen manage to gradually#lower everyone's standards of accuracy; security and objectivity. When that happens we're all fucked#(*https://www.salesforceben.com/salesforce-will-hire-no-more-software-engineers-in-2025-says-marc-benioff/#tl;dr salesforce snakeoi— CEO says no more software devs; our AI is sophisticated enough.#Balls it is.)#software engineering#programmer humor#etc etc
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a bunch of art i’m like mostly sure i haven’t shown before, and some thoughts on it under the cut vvv
recently i’ve been drawing both less (in general) and less (for any audience), and it’s given me a little bit of perspective; i’ve been posting my art online since i was ~10! and i’ve very carefully maintained all throughout my boundary between ‘art i draw for me’ and ‘art i post’, because i knew intellectually that All my art being seen by tens of thousands of people on twitter when i was 13 or so would lead to. complications.
—but i’m not sure i ever really though about the why, and it’s kinda hitting me now that it lead to me thinking most of my art just had too much of me in it to show to anybody? all the internet artists i’ve ever looked up to curate what they post too, of course, and i think that lodged itself in my brain as ‘there is something fundamentally messier about you, your creative progress, everything’ somewhere along the way (because i saw some of what other people drew and All of what i drew, it only made sense).
anyways, in the service of transparency, here is some art i drew (sometime in the past few years i’ve had this blog) for myself, or got frustrated with, or deemed too messy to show to people— because there are other artists following me, and maybe it can give you perspective too. with the acknowledgment that this doesnt even scratch the surface, and that i’ve drawn uglier things that you can imagine, not on purpose, and gotten incredibly frustrated with it all, just like i’m sure you all do
(im also posting these because i’ve gotten invested in other things and it feels like a little bit of a waste to not share the things i liked about being here— i’m honestly not sure if i’ll post art on this blog again? i’ve really enjoyed just scribbling and showing it to my dearest friends, a lot more than i think i’ve ever enjoyed posting to a wider but unknown audience)
#actually not even tagging this one. as part of my last point#it’s the two guys i drew all the time and an assortment of other cu/bitos#but tl;dr: artists i love you. never stop loving what you do no matter who sees it
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hi i'm unw el l
#ramble#he is truly the guy of all time#i can't wait to find out if his eyes are purple for a Reason or if he's just a special boy#the dichotomy of 'what could happen there's 37 more books'#and 'oh god there's 37 more books worth of stuff'#disclaimer i didn't know a LOT about canon forgotten realms but 3 pages in i was like#ah. that's why minthara is Like That#there's an essay in my head somewhere about how i'm never judging a drow character again because it's LITERAL CULT MENTALITY#tl;dr i love it. it's bonkers 90s fantasy and i am Here#imagine the ascension i felt when i opened the book and there was a MAP#thank god for the death of cringe bc i'm so much happier embracing that i'm a big fuckin nerd and not too cool for dnd novels#every time i start reading again after not having time i remember why if fuuucking LOVE BOOKS
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[inhales] spamton keeping tenna at a distance throughout most of their ""partnership"" because he has insider knowledge about the Prophecy (that tenna's mega fuckin' fate-doomed) but spamton proceeds to try and break a deal with him anyway? because he likes tenna a lot?? enough to risk the Big Shot status he fought tooth and nail for his whole life??? just so he can (presumably) share it with him???? i guess????? only to be IMMEDIATELY punished right after by getting That Phone Call, forcing him to dip out without being able to elaborate 'cause that'd just fuck things up even more than they already are, causing tenna to form this fecked-up passive-aggressive hatred/blame infatuation complex as a defense mechanism because what else is he supposed to do about his """really important business partner""" leading him on just to ghost the shit out of him without any sort of explanation, effectively shattering his trust [keels over in a crippled heap]
#tl;dr gaster really ain't a fan of 90s-core email slash TV yaoi :(((#bro's a chronic meddler#also#having the spam/tenna pipis divorce interaction and the love/hate wins choice in the same type of secret TV door room feels. like something#idk man#surely all of this has been said before#deltarune#surely#spamton#tenna#spamtenna#anyway i just think theyre neat#lots to stew in
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this milestone notification hit while i was in the middle of hiatus (which i am still kind of in! lol), so i'm a couple of days late ˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥᷄⌓˂̣̣̥᷅ )‧º·˚ but, once again: thank you so much for enjoying my work! whether it's a like, a kind message in my inbox, a reblog/etc., it has meant so much 🫶🏻 i see and appreciate all of it, even if i may not be able to respond to everyone!
as i slowly but surely crawl my way back here, i do want to know:
1️⃣ do we prefer to see more individual member content/ot13 content? i've been slugging thru my series work (i.e. svtflix, burner acc.s), most of which are really individual members. i have long-term plans of one series per member (similar to not for sale and catch you when i can), but i want to know if in the nearer future there's any preference. :") i intend to balance them to the best of my ability; this is more of a pulse check than anything~
if you want to explain why you've voted for either, my dms and inbox are very much open. :) speaking of being open—
2️⃣ opening smau and text imagine requests for the next week or so! i'm in need of some inspiration to get back into the groove of things, so throw your member/ot13 thoughts my way. 🌟 the status of this may change according to how many asks i get, so please keep an eye on my pinned. ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ usual disclaimers apply: i reserve the right to accept/deny a request, please be patient, etc.
feel free to check my frequently asked questions for requests that are okay, my favorite tropes, etc.!
once again, thank you sooo much for being here ٩(^ᗜ^ )و ´- i don't think i'm entirely back yet (semi-ia is probably the best way to put it), but i am around. i hope you're happier than me today and, as always: don't be a stranger!
‹𝟹 kae (@studioeisa)
#── ᵎᵎ ✦ yapping#tl;dr — ty for always being kind to me :( + pls vote in the poll under the cut! hehe#ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND 。°(°.◜ᯅ◝°)°。 such a surreal number... oh mannnn#keeping this in the tags because they're not super duper relevant but in case any of you have been like#“hey kae where you been loca!”#the answer/s: writing a lot more longform @ studioeisa + got 2 jobs now!! + getting into f1 LMAO#work is still bogging me down more than usual (eugh) but i've gotten a slightly better hang of it (:#the break from xinganhao was really more of a#felt like i was running out of a steam? there's a certain standard i hold to smau creation#(or to all of my writing in general)#and so i didn't want to sacrifice any of that because of some self-imposed need to churn out content#thank u for not forgetting i exist!! wahahhahaa#much love and let's all be happy <3
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forced interfacing ⭕️
#dbh#detroit: become human#d:bh#connor#connor rk800#rk900#dbh nines#nines rk900#rk1700#nines/connor#my art#hullooooo#i actually had a whole thought process behind this but i dunno if its Safe For The Tl lmao#but the tl dr is that i looked at the interfacing scenes in the game and i just like#couldnt get the image of nines forcing it#squeezing connor's hand until the plastic creaked to keep him still#and uh#yeah#in my mind's eye he looked a lot more looming and menacing but i couldnt translate it properly in my drawing#all in all i dont super love how this came out but i Must get the worms out of my brain
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Small disclaimer before you head in: this whole post will be referencing the TCB translation. I know VIZ handled the exchange I'm discussing differently, but I couldn't find anyone who talked about the original version and as a result I don't really know who is closer to the original meaning. In any case, the "analysis" should still stand. Whether Dragon was commenting Sabo's firmness or admiring his resolution, Sabo's still putting on a mask, and that's the point I'm trying to break down. Enjoy!
This very specific interaction between Dragon and Sabo in chapter 1083 has always stuck out to me.
"My, you really are unshakeable."
which is an appropriate response to what Sabo said, of course. What kind of sensitive person reacts that way to the death of an innocent, right?
Even so, I can't help but compare the thing Sabo said to his actual, genuine reaction to King Kobra's death.
He's devastated.
Sabo brokenly screams Kobra's name, and his expression is one of full despair; he never thought about killing Kobra, let alone letting him die. On the contrary, he actively tried to save him.
Kobra told him to just let him go, that he was dead weight and he shouldn't be concerned about him, but Sabo straight up refused. In fact, Kobra's actions read way more as a sacrifice than an inevitable death; the king let himself die, knowing that this way Sabo could flee and reach Vivi and Luffy safely.
On the Lulusian ship, we see Sabo think about Kobra's last words to him and actively trying not to cry (and failing).
That's not an unshakable man. He's suffering, he's grieving. He realizes he failed his very own mission of saving the king and lets the meaning behind Kobra's actions and words sink in.
It really puts his former reaction into perspective.
Sabo's firmness, seriousness and coldness in front of Dragon and Ivankov are nothing but a façade. He acknowledges that what he's about to say might come off as harsh, and that, even if he does feel sorry for Kobra, the tragedy doesn't weigh him down thanks to the results it brought, but it all sounds like he's reassuring himself more than actually showing his indifference.
Hell, he even drinks his glass of wine right after having said that "he doesn't really care". How can anyone take his words seriously?
And we've been knowing Sabo is inclined to do this sort of thing since Dressrosa; he acted all cool and composed in front of Luffy but the second Koala called him on the Den Den Mushi he was weeping, having a hard time believing that his little brother didn't punch him or hate him for being alive all along. He even denied he was crying!
All because Sabo hates being seen as vulnerable, especially in front of the people he thinks he has to be strong for (Luffy, Dragon, etc). It's something I think goes back to how his parents treated him, since they scolded him for, y'know, having emotions and being a normal kid in need of love, but i digress.
I once saw someone describing Sabo as a very cold person in comparison to his brothers, even going as far as to say that Sabo doesn't care if people die if it means achieving the Revolutionary Army's goals (using this very interaction as proof), which couldn't be further away from the truth.
Bonney even says outright that it's weird seeing a "radical revolutionary" act so friendly when Sabo helps her out. Why would he do this if all he ever did was for "The Cause"?
Yes, Sabo is ruthless, rude, violent at times, and his friendly demeanor could be seen as a little more volatile than that of his brothers', but he's not heartless. He's not a "meanings to an end" guy, he proves it time and time and time again, and it's disheartening seeing people label him as such.
Sabo is kind. He may not be as warm as Ace and Luffy, but he is fundamentally a good person. A generous, kind, caring, sensitive person.
No matter how hard he tries to hide it.
#tl;dr sabo is a very nuanced character and i love studying him#this could have been longer but i really wanted to post it before tomorrows episode#i may add to it later!!#revolutionary sabo#sabo#flame emperor sabo#if talking about him was a job i'd be filthy rich#when all of this gets animated i will be on the ground wailing and screaming and screeching#fool rambles#long-ish post#analysis post#???? kind??? of????#one piece spoilers#< just in case#idk if to tag all the other characters but i probably wont since this is all about sabo#oh right the dreaded main fandom tag#one piece#alright im DONE
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I didn't have Tumblr outliving 4Chan in my 2025 bingo card but hey I'll take it
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BTW "destigmatizing mental illness" doesn't just mean being tolerant when someone says they have a psychiatric diagnosis or go to therapy, it also means investigating how your own view of "evil" may overlap with the signs of madness.
this is because the mainstream idea of what a "bad person" looks like is heavily influenced by sanism, thus most people's perception of what makes someone bad is literally just them being mentally disabled.
to support the crazy, you must accept that grandiosity, delusionality, attention-seeking, rage, homicidal ideation, and many similar experiences are not inherently dangerous. likewise, you must also understand that love and empathy are not the ultimate goods that everyone makes them out to be.
madness can easily be an abundance of the former and a lack of the latter, not just the quiet insecurity that most people reference when they talk about "mental health."
ultimately, the world will never be a truly safe place until it's a widely acknowledged fact that there's no such thing as villainous cognition or emotionality; prejudice is the source of all evil, not abnormality.
#antipsych#mad pride#because I literally experience all of this. I'm grandiose irritable and psychotic. I don't empathize or love 99% of the time#and yet! I'm kind! because I make an effort to avoid discriminating against people!#even if I don't care for others individually I can still rationalize that violence is bad and go from there#I've met even-tempered and loving people much worse than Me because they refuse to address their biases#or reduce their negative impact on the world around them#so TL;DR. bad people aren't crazy. they're just bigoted
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A friend of mine sent me a yt video of a guy who was relocating frog eggs (prolly a vernal pool) and showed 1000s of baby frogs coming out of the water in his backyard. she asked me how I felt about it as a ecologist. I felt like it was irresponsible to do, especially to post videos on it, but probably not "ecological terrorism" like people in the comments were saying, because I see baby frogs in nature come out of water in hoards sometimes too. Kind of a mixed bag.
But I wanted to ask you, since you're a herpetologist and waaay more experienced than me: how do you feel about the yt channel "frog army YouTube"?
Many frogs and toads are classical R-strategists. Some toads can lay 20+ THOUSAND eggs in a single clutch. The whole point of that strategy is that not all of the offspring survive. In fact, it would be really rather bad if all of the offspring were to survive, because (1) they wouldn't be feeding the predators and decomposers that live off of their noble sacrifice, and (2) they will require massively more resources than they otherwise would. It can have all kinds of detrimental down-stream effects.
This is the reason we often see swarms of tadpoles darkening some small pools (especially ones where there are no fish!), and later hoards of froglets (that's the technical term) emerging from pools at once. It's an evolutionary strategy, that only few individuals survive to achieve reproductive age.
Point 1: it is *fine* if not all the tadpoles survive to adulthood. That's how the system is supposed to work. You are not doing the system favours if you are changing tadpole survivorship to 100%.
Now, humans really are fucking things up in a lot of environments. Environmental pollutants, like heavy metals, can cause major issues for wildlife, and especially frogs, which (1) are not as vagile as e.g. birds and medium- to large-sized mammals and thus cannot escape the problem zone effectively, and (2) are EXTRA sensitive to the environment because of their permeable skin.
Point 2: we do have some responsibility to do something if we notice that there is a major problem emerging, which could dramatically alter the population dynamics for one or more generations of frogs.
However, *moving* clutches of eggs that are found in polluted pools is not the right move, especially for your average person. There are many reasons that it is not the right move, but chief among them are
(1) A lot of frogs that lay eggs in vernal pools have tadpoles that cannot survive being in larger ponds, and certainly cannot survive in streams or other bodies of flowing water.
(2) A lot of frogs that lay their eggs in vernal pools are already adapted to less than ideal conditions, and have excellent strategies to overcome those conditions, such as incredibly quick metamorphosis (sometimes just a few days!)
(3) By moving clutches of eggs, you could easily be moving the pathogens or pollutants that are causing the problem in the first place.
(4) If there is Batrachochytrium dendrobatidis fungus around, you are spreading chytrid, and that is VERY bad. Chytridiomycosis has already driven several frog species to extinction, and caused massive population collapse in several others.
(5) If you do not know the species, attempts to rescue them might be aiding the advance of an invasive species.
(6) It's often illegal to intervene! Many species are protected by law, and you are not allowed to remove them from the wild. Consult your local laws.
Point 3: the responsibility to do something does not include removing the frogs and raising a frog army.
So what should we do if we find a clutch of eggs in an oily pool? Or in a nearly dried out puddle?
First assess the nature of the problem. Is the pool just about to dry out? Then leave it alone. The tadpoles will probably be fine (and if they're not, they'll provide rich nutrients to predators and decomposers). But are there signs of pollution? Then assess: is the pollution covering a larger area? Or is it localised? If you find dead frogs or other amphibians is a major warning sign, and it needs to be brought to the relevant authorities. Contact your local environmental agency/department, and notify them of the precise location of the problem, and its extent. Document everything with photos and videos.
Point 4: there are organisations and agencies specifically tasked with intervening in cases of environmental damage. It is *your* job to bring it to their attention, but unless instructed by them, you need not take any further action. It is their job to know what to do, and to take appropriate action.
TL;DR: 'Raising a frog army' is for the likes, not the frogs, and is not environmentally responsible or ethically defensible. Build a home for the frogs, and they will come.
#wall of text#long post#text post#wot#tl;dr#frogs#frog#tiktok#animals#trends#tiktok trends#info post#build a home for the frogs and they will come#I want that on a t-shirt#actually#if I answered all of the asks in my inbox as thoroughly as this#I would be writing non-stop for 393 hours
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How did you get your tattoo apprenticeship if you don't mind sharing? I've been trying to get one for ages and I want to know if you did anything in particular with your portfolio or anything :)
i'm going to be 100% honest that i just got really lucky, i was still on the mailing list for a studio i'd been tattooed at before and i got an email that they were taking on apprentices so i went for it
i didn't have a LOT of tattoo designs at the time but i sent in what i did have and also some of my graphics/illustration stuff, then i had to make a flash sheet and also do an interview, and at the end of the interview they offered to take me on :3
(important: it wasn't my first application, i reached out to every studio that i could commute to and had just had a failed interview and i'd been slowly building my portfolio on and off for about 3 years so it took a LONG time)
#ramble#tattoo apprentice things#tl;dr it was one of those things where a MILLION things had to line up perfectly to get me here#it did come at the perfect time though bc i was not feeling great about my art at all#freelancing is great for some people but i hated it and job hunting just wasn't happening#i was going to give myself another year and then go back to uni for something else bc i just didn't know if i could do it forever#and then this just fell into my lap. so i'm very grateful#my imposter syndrome creeps in sometimes and tells me i don't deserve it bc i feel like i didn't work hard enough but i'm trying!!
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