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running-with-kn1ves · 19 days ago

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Your Private Dancer

A/N: Everybody say thank you Tina Turner; man I really am just a mixture of everything I’ve seen and heard.

CW: Dancing for money, sex work/ prostitution mentioned, using money as manipulation, Reader wears makeup n' heels lmao

Synopsis: You work at the downtown peep show dancing for quarters, trying to get out of the rough patch you’ve fallen into. Seemingly, a man out of your usual customer regulars has business with you.

Tonight, a habitual fear bobbed its way inside your head, just as it had the night before. The idea of your boss’s beige, neatly ironed trousers becoming ever-so visible from under the slowly rising black curtains was making an appearance, his aged face slick with sweat, with desire behind the see-through plastic shield.

Again, the same scene but with a distant friend on the other side of the decaying plastic that separated you from your… clients. They’d be popping in the coins you worked for-- mere quarters, often giving you barely enough to buy a drink for the night.

This line of work could be greedy, could sap all energy and self-worth you had-- but for some, it had led to better lives; ones where they could purchase groceries for their kids or nice handbags if they decided to skimp out on dinner that week.

Never you, though. How long has it been since you started working at the peep show, two months? You barely made enough to cover rent, and that was primarily paid for by your office job handling phones and directing clients to your bulging boss’s office.

Taking a swig of some bottom shelf vodka you so sneakily hid into a mug, you drank the thoughts away, waiting patiently for the electric blue lights to come on. If you had any less self respect, you’d dare to sit on the yellow tile beneath your studded heels, legs aching from standing ten til’ two waiting for some man or another off the street to feed your coin box something of substance. You prayed for whoever came next-- if anyone-- they wouldn’t try to shove another piece of gum or arcade coin in as a cheap ploy. You thought they did it more to fuck with you and get a free show than a true lack of being able to pay for their lust.

On the brink of lighting an unused cigarette left next to your mug, the lights of your five-by-five room soon became illuminated by the cobalt blue lights of the client room across from you. Velvet curtains rose to show a pair of black slacks, left knee impatiently bouncing. The blue never bathed the entirety of your small room; it was just an illusion for the paying customer, making everything in front of them turn an electric shade that used to burn your eyes; now, you wished you were doused in that blue, instead of witnessing the yellow stains on the walls beside the see-through window, the dirty circles formed on the green walls from put-out cigarette butts.

The curtains rose to his neck, and you knew it was time to start dancing. You were by no means a professional-- hell, you never moved this much unless it was in this room. But you were pretty good at making yourself consumable, as if the men on the other side could have you-- could taste the way your hips gyrated and how you grabbed at your chest, stroking and fondling yourself in a desperate attempt to keep the money coming. For some of those who worked the peep show, it was liberating; no man could touch them, and they could rake in all the money they’d need. For you-- it was just a step above demeaning yourself to being touched.

You started slow-- sensual. He was looking at you, of course-- but he hadn’t even gotten his pants down yet. You rarely get these kinds of men, the ones who just liked to stare, maybe smoke a cigarette and put the rest of their quarters in their pockets to leave with a frown of boredom.

You let your hands rise from your hips, gracefully dancing up your stomach, to your chest. You circle around your shapes of hard and soft, letting each curve flow beneath your fingers as if it were his hands touching you.

You hadn’t gotten a good look at the man, watching him from the corner of your blurry eyes as he brought a hand to his mouth. He stroked his jaw before bringing the cigarette between his fingers to his lips. He scrutinized, a small line creasing under his eye as his gaze traveled the intimate way you swayed your hips.

He occasionally took a drink from an engraved scotch glass saved for VIP members, those who made monthly payments in cash that the owner hoarded in his liquor cabinet. Not many paid such a hefty price unless they routinely took clients or coworkers here-- and even then, the existence of powerful businessmen in such a grimy part of the city like this, with a less than clean business-- was so rare you were suspicious.

But your suspicions were buried as soon as he left your dancing cell, your mind quick to focus on electric bills and the next few nights of eating dry pasta and watching bad reality TV, slaving away at the office and more early mornings at the peep show. It almost didn’t surprise you to see him at your dance room again a few days later-- until he started showing up multiple times a week. Like clockwork at 11:02, he was sitting across from you with a cigarette or an indulgent glass. Sometimes, he’d merely watch. You had a few regulars, but none like him… not ‘this’ regular.

Even with keeping your eyes glued on your own reflection, you’d catch the dark blacks of his own trained on you, his face bathed in blue and zoned in on your expression. He never unbuttoned his pants, never lingered his eyes on one area for too long, even if he scanned you up and down with a sultriness.

You couldn’t deny that you felt like you needed to impress him, to make him react or find a reason to keep seeing you; he was allowing you to afford paying rent, putting coins in to last for a 30-minute session before he’d disappear into the night. But you never spoke to him, never had any kind of interaction besides that unspoken ritual.

Another month at the peep show passed, and you found yourself fixing up your makeup in the vanity, trying desperately to get a thick layer of eyeliner right. A thick knock rapped against the dressing room door, a foreign sound; none of the workers knocked, finding no reason to. Your boss stuck his head through the gap, his receding hairline shiny and his thin silver chain looking dull from the overhead light. For such a sleaze, he was kinder than most when it came to treating his employees fairly. Maybe because he was keen on avoiding complaints and federal eyes.

“Got a visitor for ya.” He chewed a thick wad of gum, talking in a voice lower than you had ever heard him speak in. “This one’s a big fish, alright? Don’t do anything to piss him off-- he’s the reason you’re getting such a good payout tonight.”

Payout? You didn’t get paid in anything other than quarters once the night ended, unless someone was looking for further services of which you were not interested in providing.

Your boss leaves the door open a crack, his mumbles traveling in as he spoke to someone outside. The door was knocked on again, but no one came in.

“It’s open.” You say, a little thrown off by the way your voice cracks a pitch higher.

The door opens fully, closing behind the stranger as he moves forward. You look in the mirror to see him, but are forced to turn around to believe your eyes.

“It’s you.”

You look at him-- nice suit, pressed and finely tailored, with even a small handkerchief in its breast pocket.

His hair isn't dark like you had imagined under the blue light, but rather a gold brown, deep and cool-toned. For being so young, he had deep creases below his eyes, as if he had been worried since birth.

“I’ve paid for your shift tonight. “ He stares at you, direct but with some underlying, concerned thought. “Your manager says there’s a room upstairs, where we can be alone-- privately.”

You’re disgusted by the mention of anything above the underground cells you’ve danced in, recalling the thin walls of faked moans and foul dialogue you’d tried to avoid.

“I’m not a prostitute,” You say brusquely, watching the stoicism on his expression falter. “You can have your money back, I don’t want it if that’s what you’re expecting.”

“I’m not.” He says, sounding a bit off guard and adjusting his tie almost habitually. “I want.. To talk, If you can believe that,” His hard gaze shifts to minute worry, as if this wasn’t how he expected it to go. “This isn’t… I want to help.”

You’re more so puzzled than offended now, staring at the pool of his ink-like eyes, no traceable ounce of debauchery behind them. If you said no, it almost seems like he wouldn’t care less, besides for another crease layered under his eye.

“What for?” You question, guarded and fiddling with your absurdly short low-rise shorts; the discomfort was part of the appeal, supposedly.

“I have a proposition for you-- a deal. You don’t have to accept it, of course. Just listen to what I have to say.”

He lifts his eyebrows, trying to gauge your reaction, your potential interest. You continue to squint at him, realizing now you were near past the start of your shift; You were losing money as you sat here.

“Maybe this will convince you; I already let your manager know not to bother us.”

Like a true businessman, he rummages through the inner pockets of his suit in an attempt to find something hidden. Finally reaching into the left side he pulls out a thin, blank envelope.

With two hands, he brings the envelope towards you with unnecessary formality, and you waste no time taking it. Besides overdue bills and unpaid bank statements, you rarely opened any other kind of unmarked envelope.

It wasn’t even closed when you tried to open it, the top un-licked and sticky. You looked inside, not needing to take out the content to understand what was in it. Several fifties were lined against each other, scarce in their numbers but large in what they equaled together.

“What… is this for?” The shock you gave with your agape mouth almost made him grin a bit, fascinated. He rarely felt pleasure in the wide-eyed stare his clients would give him at the same sight, but you weren’t them. Oh no, you were far from them.

“Just a talk. I can pay you more afterwards.”

Your gut senses danger-- perhaps he took pleasure in luring unsuspecting victims from low places with money, killing them for sport. But, he looked too clean-- too unmotivated.

You should say no, should turn away and finish putting on your makeup and tell him you aren’t looking for a pimp.

You pocket the money, crumpling the envelope and putting it on your vanity.

“I don’t do anything under the clothes; I can give you a lap dance at most and that’s it.”

You lead the man out of the dressing room, not bothering to close the door.

He leads the way upstairs, watching the grimy pictures decorating the walls with feigned interest, some in black and white, others grainy and full of half-naked women. You kind of wish you had led the way now; atleast then you wouldn’t feel like you’re following an omen to your doom, farther deep into the velvet hallway.

“My name is Dakota.” He utters, quiet and firm.

You brush past him, getting in front to open the door at the beginning of the hall. “What, no last name?”

You still wonder if you should turn back, even if it means losing your job. But you persevere, holding a dramatic hand towards the now opened room as if you were a doorman.

“I imagine you aren’t interested in my last name,” He stops to take a short view of the client room before settling his eyes back on you. “And regardless, I’d much rather know yours.”

You open your mouth to speak, but are quick to be cut off as he walks past you into the creaky, red-pink room.

“I know you won’t tell me, a part of the show-room code, or so I’m told. but it doesn’t matter; I already know.”

He reads your mind again as you barely get a moment to protest.

“I’m accustomed to going through unnatural ways to find the information that I need, but don’t bother asking for why or how, I won’t tell you.”

Your body tenses as you shut the door behind you, the red lowlights of the bedroom making your heart pound just a little louder.

“You can’t just say something like that and not expect me to want to know-- it's my privacy damn it,” You’ve forfeited any sexy walking as you come closer. “If you’re some kind of creepy stalker--”

“I guess I could be labeled as that.” Dakota slumps to sit on the edge of the bed, sinking into the dipping mattress. He almost relaxes, shoulders drooping along with his eyes, uncharacteristically so.

“I’ve come here to offer you a chance for safety,” He loosens his tie, watching as you stand there, tensing your back and one step directed toward the door.

Dakota wasn’t blind to your hesitation, your unease. But you were wrong to think he’d let you go just because of a little fear; you had a lot to learn about him.

You watch him look at you, waiting expectantly for him to go on. But he doesn’t and you realize he’s waiting for you to start-- to do something of which he paid copious amounts of cash for. So, you do what you do best, and what you feel safest doing, where no man can touch or stroke you.

It’s not as extravagant of a dance as when you’re in the coin-operated cell, but it's intimate enough.

You keep your eyes to the floor, only looking up at Dakota to egg him on, letting your feet drift you in a rhythm. He looks entranced for a moment, offering a stare that was far from innocent-- but not as hungrily disturbing as you had expected.

“Your co-workers won’t be given the same option, this is an opportunity directed at and intended only for you.” You come closer, small struts as Dakota completely unties his tie. “I’ve got a variety of apartments across the city, most of which are rented out or used as a small place to come back to when I've got business farther out. And no-- I won’t tell you what kind of business I do.”

You almost grunt in frustration, keeping your eyes on him.

You’re nearly toe to toe with him now, watching from above as he puts his hands back on the bed.

“One of these apartments is not too far from here,” He squints his eyes, deliberating. “A few blocks away, I'd say.”

Your hands slow as you drop them to the front of your hips, Dakota’s eyes following them.

“It can be yours. If you’d like.”

“What?”

You stop, dropping your arms and watching the pink glow from under the bed cast a shadow up to Dakota’s cheeks.

“Some people call this kind of an arrangement “sugar babying” but that’s a bit too crude for my tastes.” His eyes are still traveling from your wrist to your forearm. “You’ll be on an allowance, of course. But it means you won’t have to work here anymore.”

The way he said ‘here’, it was clear what he thought of it.

“You can quit that desk job too; or keep it, if you want. But I can’t imagine it being much fun. Either way, you won’t be working here anymore. Not with the kind of men who are looking at you while I’m away.”

Dakota’s gaze finally met your own, his tired hand coming up to stroke his curved jaw.

“You’re not actually being serious, are you? This is some kind of sick joke?” You let out a short laugh, lacking in humor.

Even with him dressed to the nines in a suit that no creature who stepped foot in this place could afford, you wouldn’t allow yourself to believe it. You shake your head in ridiculousness, taking a step back.

“Sorry, I have other customers to attend to; I can’t be dealing with this shit right now.”

You turn to walk away, feeling less safe than you ever had; if he was delusional, or some kind of sick sadist who thought he could buy your life-- he had another thing coming.

“Hold on,” Dakota grabs at your fingers, almost desperate in his grasp. His eyes were void of anything other than concern. “I’ve booked you for the whole night, I don’t recall asking for you to leave.”

Booked? You were under the impression you just received a little extra bonus from this stranger. Just how much were your manager’s morals worth? Did he care AT ALL what he might’ve ‘sold’ you for?

Dakota held on, even with you hesitantly shuffling back to where you stood.

“You don’t have to accept what I’m offering-- just consider it,” He stays seated, bringing your hand palm-up towards him. “Though, I’ve been told I'm quite persuasive.”

“Look man, whatever you’re selling, I'm not buying. I’ll have you know I’m perfectly content with my job, and I’m not looking for some kind of ‘savior’ if that’s what you’re trying to be.”

You could feel your own lie cutting deep into you, and by the looks of it Dakota didn’t believe it either. He looked at you, a kind of benign glare leaving from his oaky eyes.

“Call me by my name.” He says, barely above a whisper.

“...Huh?”

“I’m not just some ‘man’. Call me by my name.”

Dakota ran his thumb down your palm to your middle finger, keeping your hand hostage between both of his own. He looked to you, then back down to his grasped treasure. He looked like he didn’t really know what to do with it, but that it was something intimate he didn’t want to let go of.

“Wha--okay fine. Dakota. This isn’t some kind of game,” The name felt weird coming out of your mouth, but watching who it belonged to’s reaction was even stranger.

He shivered. Physically shivered at the guttural hearing of his name, of the consonants and vowels sliding off your tongue.

Dakota looked down, avoiding your gaze as he memorized each line and indent in your fingers. You wanted to pull your hand away, to recoil in disgust and fling him off like some kind of bug. But in a way, he looked small sitting there, head down and entranced at the details of your fingers, the ridges of your palms, the shaking pulling at his shoulders as he asked you to say his name again.

“Dakota.” You mutter, wondering if this was some kind of kink.

With the way he stopped a groan midway from slipping, you were sure you weren’t too far off. But whatever he was into, now was not the time for discovery.

“This is, just ridiculous. Were you listening to me, at all?” You tilt your head, trying to catch his eyes to see if you could see what the hell he was so captivated by.

His thumb pressed hard against your palm, short nail digging just slightly to leave a crescent shape.

Without the response, you were starting to get fed up. You pulled your hand away, sliding smoothly out of his warm, dry grasp.

At this, his head shot up, watching you with a kind of look as if he had come from out of a panicked daze.

“I’ve wondered what my name would sound like from your mouth-- I could never hear anything from the other side of the glass.”

“...Right.” You aren’t sure if you should still be worried, but his fascination with you made you feel a little concerned.

Dakota propped himself up again, seemingly realizing his recent lack of finesse.

“Take my business card.” He seemed to say all of a sudden, searching blindly in his inner-jacket pockets like he did to give you your payment for the night. He seemed a little scattered, padding up and down to look for his cards before finding one in his breast pocket. “Here.”

You grab it, finally getting an inkling of answers to who he was besides the money and his name.

Unfortunately for you, the card didn’t offer much else from what you already knew. There was his name in ink-black font, ‘DAKOTA--VERIDIAN FIRMS’ and a small phone number, barely readable beneath.

“That’s my personal number. Day or night, don’t hesitate to call. I’ll answer.” He looks at you with an inappropriate level of intensity.

“Okay.”

“Now that that’s squared away--” He sighs, relaxing backwards again, watching you hold the business card. “We can return to business as usual;” He keeps his eyes on yours, displaying a kind of tension and expectation. “I believe you were dancing, and I was enjoying your company.”

You can’t imagine spending the rest of your shift solely dancing for one man, in this dreary far-too cold room that had seen too much. You don’t move, not ready for the rest of tonight to continue.

Dakota brings out another small envelope, this time with ease. Looking at it expectantly, he then looks back to you.

You began to move your shoulders to the rhythm of the thumping music from downstairs, using it as a way to distract your thoughts. Dakota puts the envelope on the bed, letting out a sigh as he voyeured in novelty, watching you gaze at the heart-shaped headboard behind him.

You tried to keep your thoughts empty, but it was near impossible. How much could you be bought for, and how much more would it take for you to agree to be his?

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wannabeschyulersister · 6 months ago

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sleepy berzatto

Part of you didn’t want to wake him up. He looked so peaceful as he slept. For once, the anxieties of the day couldn’t mess with him.

He was still in his work clothes. You could tell that he meant to just rest his eyes for a few minutes before he fell into a deeper sleep. He was supposed to pick you up from the airport when your flight got in.

You touched his head lightly brushing his hair away from his face. It stirred him awake.

“(Y/n)?” He mumbled. He felt like he was in a dream.

“Yeah, it’s me, Carmy.”

When the realization hit, Carmen quickly stood up from the couch stumbling a bit. He was clearly still half asleep, “Fuck! I fell asleep. I’m so fuckin’ sorry, Baby. I didn’t mean to-“

You reached out to steady him, “Carmen, relax. Michelle sent a car for me. They didn’t want to wake you.”

He took a deep breath and pulled you closer to him, “I’m sorry.” It felt so nice to be in his arms after weeks of not seeing him.

“Don’t be. I made it safely. We’re together again. That’s all that matters.” You rubbed your hand soothingly on his back. You didn’t want him stressing at all during your visit.

“How was your flight?” He asked as you took your coat off.

“It was fine. I read for most of it. I had the whole row to myself.”

He grabbed your coat and went to set it on the hook near the door. When he joined you on the couch, he quickly captured your lips with his. Now that he was fully awake, he could show you how much he missed you.

“Three weeks is too long for us to be apart, Berzatto.” You said before he kissed you again.

“I’ve been goin’ crazy wishing you were here with me.” Carmen confessed.

“I have too. Sugar is probably tired of hearing how much I’ve missed you everyday.”

Carmen chuckled, “She told me that she’s always happy to have you around. You’re the sister that she’s always wanted.”

Your heart soared at his comment. It meant a lot that Sugar enjoyed your company.

“Mikey invited me to dinner at The Beef two days ago. I went and spent some time with him. Richie and Tina ate with us also.”

Carmen was a little quiet, “That’s-that’s nice”

“It was nice, Bear. I enjoy hearing his stories.”

He nodded, “I’m glad you had a good time.”

You touched his face gently, “When is the last time you spoke to him?”

He shrugged his shoulders a little, “I think three weeks or somethin’.”

“He told me that he’s really proud of you. I am too. I’ve always been proud but when I get photos of the stuff you’re creating, it’s a whole new level.”

Carmen smiled sheepishly. Before you, he wasn’t great at receiving compliments. He could hand them out easily but when it was reversed, he just didn’t know how to handle it. The longer the two of you were together, he was getting better at it.

“I couldn’t do any of this without you, (Y/n).” Carmen said softly.

“I’m so happy to be cheering you on. I wish I could come visit more but work has been insane and I barely got the time to come for a few days now.”

Carmen placed his hand on your thigh and rubbed his thumb against it soothingly, “I feel bad that you’ve been doin’ all of the traveling to make sure that we see each other.”

“There will be a time when you’re the one having to come to me. I don’t mind it right now.”

Carmen kissed your forehead, “I don’t deserve you.”

It tore your heart piece by piece every time he confessed that. You hated that it was a thought in his mind.

“Yes, you do, Bear. I wish you could see yourself the way that I see you. Until that day comes, I will continue to tell you until you finally believe me.”

You wrapped your arm around his midsection and rested your head on his chest. His hand automatically went to your hair. It was moments like this that he cherished the most. All of the stress and headaches were worth it for the moment to be sitting with the love of his life.

#carmen berzatto imagine #carmen berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto #carmen berzatto x (y/n)#carmen berzatto x you #the bear x reader #carmy x reader #the bear imagine #carmy berzatto

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neonovember · 2 months ago

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This is an idea that’s been on my mind lately because Carmy would be so protective and would 100% treat his gf like a princess, so I thought I’d send it in ifs it’s okay!!🤧

Can I please request Carmy x fem!reader where it’s based off the song “Treat You Better”, where she’s one of his chefs, and Carmy has a biiiig soft spot for her, like soft smiles, hand on the small of her back. Y/n is veryyyy soft spoken and quiet, a very stark contrast to the rest of The Beef/The Bear staff. The staff absolutely love her and are super protective of her: She’s best friends with Sydney (also she’s around the same age as Syd, early 20s), Tina sees her as a daughter, Marcus is always trying to make her laugh and asks her to try his pastries, Richie is more gentle with her than he is with everyone else, Ebra has a calmness around Y/n, Sugar (when she stops by) loves treating Y/n like the little sister she never had, and Carmy… Carmy is head over heels for Y/n. He’s so soft and gentle with her, never raising his voice at her in the kitchen, and he always has the cutest nicknames for her🤧. However… Y/n has a boyfriend, they all know it, and they all share an extreme dislike for him. He’s not very nice, and it all goes to a boiling point when they spot bruises, Y/n letting her hair fall over her face.🥺 Tina and Sydney probably noticing right as she walks in one morning, then the rest of the staff noticing too, the whole kitchen getting eerily quiet, Carmy pulling her aside to his office to talk to her, holding Y/n in his arms while she cries🥺 Carmy 100% taking his bat and beating the crap out of her bf… Now ex, and he offers for Y/n to stay with him because she has nowhere to go? Their relationship growing after that? Y/n kissing him one day, shook at herself, but he kisses her back?

July in November

carmen berzatto x fem! reader

warnings: heavy domestic abuse, controlling fiance, swearing, violence, carmen goes gives absolute no regard for felonies, (assumed) unrequited love, self deprecation, victim blaming

a/n: this entire fic is just time skips l swear, I've written something similar here as well if you liked this which i hope you did! dv is a heavy subject, and not something to trivialise. if you or someone you know is going through dv, please reach out x

banner from @firefly-graphics

The streaks of concealer do little to hide the bloom of dark purples and blues.

They stretch out, clawing up your side and past your ribs, shades of overlapping blotched bruises that were not yet healed.

You were a chef trained in Oslo for god sake, you had friends and family who loved you- and you let out a laugh when the words come out pathetic and dull.

You were right where he left you.

You suppose from the continuous uphill of your career, the exhaustion had made it easier to just sit still, let it happen. He had proposed and you had said yes unblinking. It was what he told the countless people at dinner parties he dragged you to in attendance,

“I had finally beat her down enough to finally fall in love with me” He smiled, his eyes shining and his grip on your waist bruising as the people smiled and laughed and you swallowed back his irony.

The cycles of abuse had started before you could truly remember, bouts of angry yelling before the hot dull beat of pain. And he was so kind after, so thoughtful and apologetic, his eyebrows furrowed and his touch gentle as he leaned over you.

Were you still a victim, if you wanted to stay just for the after?

You shake your head, slowly blinking at the reflection of your bloated torso. Peeling away your shirt gently before buttoning up one of your work shirts instead.

Your heart settled when you thought of the Bear. It was your haven, Richie’s rambled drivel, Sugar hovering every so near, Carmen with his eyes and his inked hands and his sweet mouth. It wrapped around you more tightly than those bruises ever could.

You look over to watch your fiancé, fast asleep content with a full stomach and tired fists. He was so vulnerable like that, and the feeling of anger unfurls in your gut. For once, just one time you wanted him to feel it, that gut wrenching frightened feeling.

You look over to the stone doorstep near his desk, the stupid thing that he had revered at one of his art conventions that was left keeping the door open. You wonder, just for a second, what it would feel like to lean over him with it between your hands, waiting for the slight blink of his eyes that clear away the sleep.

Watch the fear melt into them, and smashing his fucking face with it.

You breathe deeply, arranging your hair so it is out of your face, flattening out the creases in your shit and avoiding your stomach as you stood up and grabbed your bag.

“Where are you going”

You blink, hands gripping your work bag as his voice bellows “Work”

“Huh. We need to sort that out soon”

You stopped, closing your eyes as you fiddled with the loose threads from the shoulder strap. You knew this conversation, where he would bring up another thing in your life he wanted to talk about, as if your relationship was built on a solid base of understanding and conversation. You would wait until his voice would ripen with jealousy and rage, where thinly veiled inquisition would fall away and reveal what he truly wanted.

You had given him enough of your life, let him change and control it. But you would soon let yourself be buried then let him take this too from you. No fucking way.

“Sure”

You pass by the door, pushing the stone to the side. It wasn’t heavy at all.

It’s when you enter the back door of the Bear do you realise you’ve spent your whole commute over holding your breath.

The smells of sauces and expensive meats lulls your anxiety into a mummering tremble, and you sigh softly to yourself as you sling your bag into your locker.

You can already hear Richie arguing, and the tired voice of Carmen biting back and you want to slap yourself for all the times you had grown annoyed at them. What you would give to hear them always, to feel this level of safety and comfort without the overhanging timer of when you would eventually have to leave.

You nod towards Sydney, carrying a large tray of roasted pecans over to Sam, her braids intricately wrapped around her head.

The walkway is framed with pictures of the family, from Mickey to the recent Polaroids of Sugar's newborn. You notice a framed picture of the team from years ago, when you had first started working at the Bear. You’re squished between Carmen and Fak, the backdrop of a renovating Bear behind you all.

The timidiness of being new had not left then, and despite the family enveloping you as their own you had wondered why Carmen had chosen you out of all the decorated chefs that had surely applied. You had asked him this once, after an exhausting dinner rush and he had simply looked up at you from his plate of stolen steak and eggs.

“You’ve got something, Kid. Maybe it’s because you hadn’t yet gotten the light beaten out from the culinary world but I need that. Need someone who pushes against the boundaries you know?”

You had stayed quiet as he talked

“And you’re a local. Boston isn’t for the faint of heart, you know your diners better than they know themselves. Call it prejudice, I call it a safety cushion.“

You wondered what she would think of you now, her wide eyed dream so close you could see her tight grip on her chef coat in the grainy photograph.

You follow the noise of the crew into the kitchen, when Carmen is hunched over a chopping board and Richie is pointing out problems in the seating arrangement for tonight.

He exhales, ready to start another contingent when he spots your figure walking through the entryway.

“Finally. Someone fucking competent in this place”

“Hey Richie” You smile, tightening your apron before biting back a wince. The darkness of your life outside of the Bear had a way of seeping in at times, you had grown too comfortable.

“Hey baby, you good? yeah?” Richie replies

“Richie-“ Carmen interrupts, turning his head to face you for the first time in an hour (which you did not realise but Riche surely did)

“Fuck off. Fuck you. You sure baby? Need me to get you somethin? I got a pack of Marlboros if you need a break”

“Leave her alone, dammit Richie, and a cigarette this early?”

“Oh! Oh! The addict wants to act holier than thou all of a sudden. Just because you slapped on a couple Nic patches-“

“It’s gum and it’s fucking working asshole”

“The L hold you up?” Richie says, throwing the finger at Carmen

“No, no, um, just got in a little fight with David” You reply, cutting your eyes away from him.

Richie rolls his eyes with a groan, a sour expression filters over his face in flash at the mention of your fiance’s name.

“That fuckin’ guy, I swear that boyfriend of yours” Richie groans

“It was my fault really.”

You notice Carmen’s movements stop abruptly, the chopping growing silent with his back turned to you.

“I highly doubt that” Carmen grumbles, before Tina and Sydney come through the door

“Hey, why were you late you missed out on that guy who tried fighting Fak-”

“Her stupid fucking boyfriend”

“Easy” Carmen replies, turning to face you again

“Hey, c’mon Carmen you of all people know that man does not deserve her one fucking bit”

“Darling you need to get rid of that man I’m telling you, he ain't treating you the way you deserve. There's no good keeping an angry man” Tina chides, eyebrows raised as she wipes her fingers on the cloth draped over her shoulder.

“Yeah, he's a dick. And he’s always just…hovering when he comes.” Sydney replies

“And always talk in this condescending tone, adding random words to sound smarter than he is” Marcus’s voice interjects, peeking from around the pastry corner

“Like pseudo-intellectual goddamn-” Tina grumbles, in lightning speed

“Yuppie” Fak continues, and Tina nods

“All I’m saying doll, is that if you end up dumpin’ him we’d be right behind ya’. Might throw a little party here, a small one…how much does it cost to hire some fireworks?”

“Ease up guys, her love life ain’t got nothing to do with us alright. Let the girl be” Carmen voice bellows “And we got work to do”

He turns to the rest of them, shaking his head feigning annoyance at the team gathering together to gossip. And yet, his hands grip his towel tight enough to leave them white, and his teeth grind against his molars when he thinks of your boyfriend.

You don’t know how they'd react when they find out he proposed, you can’t exactly hide a ring.

“Hey” You smile towards Carmen, who’s twisted features blink into resolve when he hears you

“Hey” He nods, wincing as he pressed his fingers to his temple gingerly.

“Still got that headache?”

“I’ll be fine, just wish it would save the eye stabbing until after dinner service”

“Here”

“I’m alright-“

“Take it” you repeat, pressing some pain killers in his hand.

Carmen nods gratefully, hands clasped around yours for a second longer. Before they part.

He eyes the pills, and for a second you see this puzzled look gleam across his eyes.

He pops them in his mouth, you let out a breath from your chest quietly.

You kept your work and home life separate, Carmen didn’t need nor should carry the burden of this ugly secret that paints you from the inside out.

You had a lid on it. You were sure.

You let yourself get lost in the ingrained memory of moving around the kitchen, letting the slice of your knife against the flesh of meat and fruit melt away everything you had been shouldering the past year.

It gets busy, really busy, Richie and Carmen fail to cohabitate in the hours of the dinner service, multiple plates are dropped, you almost can’t keep up with the never ending orders coming in but its also fucking amazing. The rush of delivering every component of a plate in time, making sure the meat is cooked until just right, making sure the sauce isn't runny, it feels like dancing.

Your legs and arms ache, you have a headache and your apron is stained and you can’t tell the difference between the end of the dinner service and hitting the last step of a choreographed dance.

The high that buzzes through your body is mirrored by everyone around you, and you take a second to sink in that feeling of euphoria as the last tables are cleared.

“That was..” You start, un-hunching your shoulders as the rest of the team look up in a daze, surrounding the kitchen

“Fuckin’ amazing, might be our best night yet” Richie grins, bobbing his chin as it rests on his hands

“That was good..we could've been a bit better at turning the tables-” Carmen murmurs

“Oh c’mon Carmy, we can talk about the finalities later but even you can admit that was pretty good” Sydney calls out, leaning her head against the door frame, as exhausted pulls at her every feature

“Yeah…yeah it was good”

“No one go anywhere, I’ve got left over schnitzel and potatoes and I know none of you have taken a break”

“How long has it been since we’ve sat down for family?” Tina mumbles, wiping her stained apron tiredly

“Too long, I don’t mind fixin’ it up” You stretch out your arms, unbuttoning your chef's coat and folding it neatly, despite Sugar throwing them into the sink to soak for the night later.

“I’ll help” Carmen nods to you, doing the same with his apron. His dark crew neck that sticks to him reveals with every button, outlining the indentations of his chest and biceps.

Family usually consists of throwing whatever leftovers from the night's dinner service onto a large plate and proceeding to throw some forks near it. There had been a long trail of food combinations that either delighted the crew or had you throwing your towel in and going to the taco truck nearby.

Today however, the night had gone so well and had distracted you even better. You could at least make up some plates, make ‘em look pretty or whatever else your hands had been trained to do.

The rest of the team move the tables to form one large spanning diner in the middle of the Bear, the scrape of wood against flooring is all that fills the air as you and Carmen work silently. You’re good together, that sort of chemistry that only comes with understanding a person so well you can anticipate their next move. And the night feels like a dance again, moving left and right, handing him pieces of chicken and spoonfuls of sauce, wiping plates clean and centering them right.

It’s only when Richie comes tumbling through the double doors does it cause Carmen to jump, spilling the ladle of hot gravy across your shirt. You wince, Carmen lets out a garbled grunt and Richie cringes.

Carmen is quick, reaching for a nearby cloth as he begins to lift up your shirt gingerly. The sauce isn't boiling, but there is a slight stinging heat that radiates across your midsection and you're too distracted and uncomfortable that you forget yourself, and let Carmen reveal you.

It takes Carmen a second, he's pulling your shirt up just below your underbra, and his fingers pause against the fabric.

You’re confused just for a moment, but it stretches out, and you let yourself sit in the fantasy of unknowing, you let yourself imagine a life where what was sprawled across your skin was just the remnants of a soggy shirt and irritated skin.

The truth of it hits you when you watch Carmen's face change in front of you.

“What the fuck?”

“Don’t-”

“What?” Richie calls, coming closer before throwing his head back

“Jesus fuckin' christ kid”

“I-I we got into a fight-“

“A fight? He beat you!”

“You don’t understand-”

“Maybe I don’t but this-“ Carmen gestures to the welts and colours that paint your stomach “Is one of the worst things I’ve seen in a long time”

Carmen’s hands are still gripping your shirt, the rag dropped to the floor between you now as you lower your head and let your hair cover your eyes.

“I’m sorry-“ You croak out, tongue heavy and eyes blurring with tears.

“Sorry-?” Carmen circuses down to meet your eyes incredulously “You’re sorry? Why are you fucking sorry, look what he fucking did to you!- what has he done to you?”

“Hey hey, honey you need to tell us what happened. This isn’t right, no fight can justify this” Richie whispers, crouching near you as he watches Carmen carefully.

“It was an accident”

“Do you truly believe that?” Richie murmurs softly, and you look up with a furrow of your brow.

You turn to Carmen whose face is twisted in anger, his eyes on your midsection, his hands around your sides and around you.

“I don’t know anymore..I’m just so tired” You whimper, your throat growing tight as Carmen’s brows furrow, blinking and grinding his jaw

“I’m going to fucking kill him-“

“Hey, Carmen wait just- wait” Richie is quick to reach Carmen as he rears back

“Look at her- he can’t-FUCK”

“I know, and we will. I want to break his goddamn legs but we got to think of her. We need to get her out of this, we need to think about her first”

Carmen closes his eyes as you watch their interaction, and he turns to you as you blink the tears that drop down your cheek. He frowns and waits for your approval and you nod, and Richie lets go of him and he gathers you in his arms and lets you cry the last of your resolve on his shoulder.

You don’t tell him anything, and he doesn’t ask. He lets you wet his shoulder as the silence that sits in the kitchen is consumed by your muffled cries instead.

The commotion causes the rest of the team to flood in, putting the pieces together when they see your shoulders shaking with grief and your unbuttoned top. The bear hung with the sick reality of a beat woman, and the once hungry crew now felt the nauseous image in front of them fill their stomach.

Sydney is the one that eases you out of Carmen’s arms, and pulls your hair back as she whispers apologies into your ear. She takes you to the emergency room to make sure nothing is broken. When the nurses greet you by name she waits until you're in the examination room before sobbing into Tina’s arms.

“How did I not notice, I see her every goddamn day, how did I not notice he was hurting her?”

“Don’t do that, don’t blame yourself. There is only one person to blame”

The rest of the team follows, and they all sprawl across the waiting room, heads between their hands.

After one of the junior doctors gives you the all clear, and Carmen and Richie follow up on the police report you make your way down the linoleum hallway in the crumbled stained shirt that had started this all.

You blink as you watch the faces of everyone you love look up in worry, exhaustion is written into their bones and still they sit in the too small waiting chairs for you. You had never felt a love like that before, so profound and overwhelming clear and you breathe it in deeply like it's the last thing you’ll taste.

“I’m so sorry-”

“Don’t you fuckin dare-”

“I know, I know, just please hear me.”

They relent, and you wait until they all nod towards you before continuing

“You guys have taken me as your own, made me feel a part of something greater than myself. I don’t want you to think I was unloved” Your voice heightens with the wet tears that fill your throat

“Every single time I came through those doors I felt it okay? I never understood the power of it, of love, but I feel it now and I felt it then. It just got muddled in the middle of all of this, of all the things I keep hidden. And that is my fault, but you guys, the Bear? You guys kept me alive” You whisper the last part, your voice caught in your throat as you try to still the shake your hands.

“You did nothing wrong baby, nothing. It’s hard to leave isn’t it? It’s hard to even say it” Ebra is the first one to whisper, holding your hands gently and carefully. You look at him, as his eyes gleam with the heaviness of his past and you don’t quite understand how, but you believe he knows that well.

“We’re your family, whatever it is that you're dealing with we shoulder it to, we carry that burden. That is what we're here for, and you can take all the time that you need. Let us help you, but you know what happens now, yes?” Richie murmurs

“I need to get out”

“Damn fucking right you do. And fast, I know it's going to be hard but you need to act like everything is normal. Get in, pack a bag and get out.”

You breathe in deeply, remembering all the half packed duffle bags that had been left near the door. This time you wouldn't be able to back out, this time Carmen would make sure of it.

“Where’s Carmen?” You suddenly say, and Richie shifts his gaze to the exit sign.

“Maybe give him a few moments Kid” Richie murmurs, but you ignore him, moving quickly towards and out of the doors into the smoking area in the alleyway.

You spot him hunched over, back against the stone wall, trails of grey smoke filters from his mouth as you tsk loudly when you near him.

He raises his head up, widening his eyes before looking down at the cigarette.

“You were doing so good” You smile softly

“Yeah? Felt like pulling teeth, not grabbing for one every couple hours.”

“But those chewing gums”

Carmen shakes his head “Don’t tell Rich, but they were fucking disgusting”

You let out a hearty laugh, leaning back on the wall beside him.

Carmen takes one last deep drag, before pressing the butt of the stick into the wall that isn't near you.

It’s silent, and you feel him watching you for a long time before his voice replies in a croaky tear filled tone you had never heard come out of his mouth before.

“Goddamn it kid”

“I know” You reply instantly, the tears that you thought had left you were big fat liars.

“I want to blame myself, I will for a long time but this isn’t about me is it”

You shake your head furiously, it was so far apart from him.

“What can I do? What can I do to make it better?” Carmen whispers, turning to face you fully now, eyes red and blonde curls messy across his brows.

“It’s not something you can fix Carm, you just got to let me do it. Let me walk away completely”

Carmen grits his teeth, “I should’ve made more attention-”

“How? Between renovating the Bear, organising the menu, fucking opening and maintaining the dinner service every night?”

Carmen shakes his head and you tug at his arm gently

“I didn’t let you notice Carm, I hid it well sometimes I even forgot about it. The bear, you? You let me forget, you let me feel so safe I forgot what he was doing to me”

Carmen reaches for your hand, holding onto it gently

You shake your head, shaking the tears along with it. You hadn’t so much as let yourself hear the truth of what had been happening, but it flowed out of your mouth like a river into Carmen.

“He got drunk one night” You whisper, biting your cheek as you bristle at the memory of it

“He got drunk one night, and started accusing me of these horrible things. Things I would never do. And when I tried talking to him he just turned to me with this look in his eyes, and it was so unlike him Carm. It was like someone else had come and taken his body, and his voice and his mouth”

“And when I reached for him he reached back. And then I suppose I got used to being afraid of him”

“I don’t know what changed that night, but it did. Or maybe he had always been that way and I had been to blind by the feeling of being wanted that I ignored it. But it got worse, he hit me, but he started controlling what I was doing. Always flinging my phone in my face so that he could look for something that wasn’t there, eyes always scrutinising me when I came home fucking exhausted from the Bear.”

“That was how it started, and I guess it never quite ended” You murmur, and when Carmen drags his thumb across your cheek, you understand the rage that he had kept covered for you.

“I’m going to hurt him. And that's more for me than it is for you, I know it and I don’t care. He doesn't get to walk away.” Carmen replies after a beat, and his voice is even. You can see his anger from before slipping into the darkness of his pupils, but his voice is clear and devoid.

“I know” You murmur

“And you’re going to stay with me till we get you a place. Tina and Syd offered and well the whole team, but I can’t-”

“I know, you can’t put them in danger”

“No. I can’t let it happen, you being alone, him somehow getting to you. You being hurt again-” Carmen shakes his head, grinding his jaw as he cuts his eyes away.

“Okay” You mumble, suddenly feeling the exhaustion of your secret that had weighed you down every day fall away.

The month after had passed quicker than any other time in your life. And for that you were grateful. You had packed a bag and moved into Carmen's apartment that night, and he and Richie had made good on their promise. They watched, as well as the rest of the Bear with a sneer as your fiance was carried into the police station, and you watched the mirror of your injuries multiplied across his face.

The police had been slow in taking action, even you know this, so you suppose their tight lipped expressions at the beaten man they found in your trashed apartment made up for that.

Carmen slept near the door for the first two weeks, a bat in his hand and his notebook of recipes filled with scribbled annotations. Tossing and turning enough times, made you wrap your blanket around yourself and join him by the door. You would wake up some nights, in a sweat from the terror of your nightmare imagining him somehow finding you, and you would join him those times as well.

The truth of all that had happened still had not yet been told, and you doubt that it ever will. But you were okay with that, and Carmen was too. And so when your fiance had been tried and sentenced, and the promise of broken bones hung over him even years after, Carmen had made no mention of finding you a place.

And so you stayed, and made a home for yourself. Let your shoes get muddled and clutter the hallway, have your toothbrush besides his own. Move in the last pieces of yourself that had been left in that prison to a place that could maybe change them.

You spent Thursdays with Richie, he’d wait at the foyer for you and he'd take you out for lunch like clockwork. Divulging in your week as he did his, he let you steal some of his cigarettes and you let him ramble to you. Richie had surprised you, when all was said and done. He had known what to do, knew how to talk to you, and you think you credit him to a lot of where you were now. You suppose he blames himself a little as well, so you don’t mind that Thursdays were his way of checking up on you.

You let the team act the same way, Tina bringing you plates of food and tupper wares of lasagna till Carmen's fridge was hard to open, Sydney calling every day, Ebra and Marcus making sure you had someone who could walk you home if Carmen had to stay back. And when you had finally had enough, they nodded and backed away and let you out of their grip.

You're crouched in the fire escape of Carmen's building, passing a bottle of wine that you had snuck from service.

“I visited him today”

“What?” Carmen replies, knowing immediately who you were talking about.

You shrug your shoulders, “I was too much of a mess to confront him, and the court proceedings left me too numb to even face him. But I went today, and I told him. What he had done, how he had changed.”

“But then he laughed and I punched him in his goddamn mouth”

“Atta girl” Carmen grins, his smile filling up the entire bottom of his face.

“So I can’t ever come back to the Boston Corrections facility, and boy am I glad. You know what this means though right?”

“Hm?” Carmen mumbles with a mouthful of street tacos

“You can’t ever get yourself thrown in prison” You chide, and you smile when he throws his head back in laughter

“Seriously Carm?” You bemoan, resting against the living room entryway

“Yes, the bed is strictly meant for you. What do you take me for? Letting a woman sleep on the couch” Carmen gruffs, carefully placing the duvet over the couch cushions.

“It’s been nearly a year since I’ve moved in, Carmen. I don’t think it's ridiculous to assume we can share a bed together”

Carmen grinds his jaw, swallowing back grunt at the thought of sharing a bed with you. As if it was no big thing, as if Carmen would be able to sleep with you next to him.

“It’s called being a host”

“I signed the lease 2 months ago, we’re technically de-facto” You raise your eyebrows, folding your hands across your chest

“The only time I’ll let the government decide what we are is when-if I put a ring on that finger” Carmen replies, the little slip causing him to cut his eyes from you and back to the duvet that was already folded.

You shake your head with a laugh “This you’re way of proposing Carm? Take a girl out for dinner first”

Carmen mumbles under his breath, flattening the duvet with his inked hands before his phone buzzes

“Goddamnit, that’s Richie.

“Leave that sofa and let's go down to meet our friends and have a nice time. God knows we’ve earned more than a few drinks at Nick’s” You reply, swiping Carmen’s phone

“Hey!”

“You weren’t even going to answer him” You roll your eyes.

You send Richie a text that was all apologetic and none grammatically correct as you shuffle out of your work pants into some jeans.

The team was already at the bear, halfway through the first round of drinks and you’d be damned if you let Carmen make the both of you late.

Carmen is in jeans as well, and the white shirt he always dons fits around his chest tightly. You can lie to yourself most days, but in times like this, where you both live in this domestic bubble your mind wanders.

You don’t let it too much.

But when you're visiting family, and you pass by the Louisiana welcome sign planted in the roadway, and the weather gets warm and the nights stretch out you let yourself think of him. You let yourself imagine a life where he was entwined, in you, your life, your days while you drink on the porch of your family home.

The thought of being in anything new scares you to no end, your past finds you in moments you least expect and dredges you down to the same feeling you felt when you were with him.

But Carmen was your past too wasn’t he? He was muddled and interlinked with all the memories that make your chest ache and your hands shake. Carmen didn’t feel new..you had already been living with each other for a year now, and you suppose the way you both flow into each other's lives was no different.

You’d be together, in the way you had always been but different also. You’d get to grow familiar of the taste of him, you’d get to feel him under your skin, beneath your fingers, and he’d sleep in that fucking bed for the first time in a year.

Then the sun would dip below the horizon, the sounds of the insects and birds would come back to you, and the creeping shadow of guilt and insecurity would remind you of who you were again.

You’d taste the bitter embarrassment of forcing Carmen to be that way with you, throwing your head back as you gulp down the beer in your hand as you try to stave away the taste. The dream disappears each time from you, like the oranges and reds that paint the Louisiana sky every evening.

“Hey, we going or what?” Carmen says, his eyes narrowing at, you noticing the way your eyes glaze over.

“Yeah, yes” You nod, swallowing the thoughts of him quickly as you finish tying your boots and let Carmen lock the door behind you.

The bar is surprisingly crowded on a Tuesday night, and you have to squeeze past crowds of leather wearing bikers before finally seeing the team seated in a long booth at the back.

“Finally!” Richie yells, hands in the air and his beer swishing out of the neck.

“We were about to send a search party” Tina smiles, looking toward you with a glint in her eyes when she notices Carmen’s arm at your back.

“Aren’t you guys like, a 2 minute walk from this place? Fak got here before you” Marcus replied, his old fashioned nursed in your arms.

“I had no involvement in our tardiness, he was too busy fixing his makeshift couch bed”

“Oh don’t tell me your still sleeping on that” Richie’s eyes widen

“You know that ain’t even a good couch right? We found it on the side of the road-“

“It’s not good for your back Carmen, all those cushions” Ebra shakes his head disapprovingly.

“It’s perfectly fine Ebra, and who would I be if I let a woman sleep on the couch?” Carmen grumbles, as both slide into the booth next to Sydney.

“I mean, there is an easy straightforward solution” Sydney murmurs, and everyone turns to her quickly.

“You could both just sleep in the same bed together” She replies, after looking at everyone dumbfounded.

“Only married people share a bed, that’s Sicilian tradition”

“Yeah, mixing work and personal life isn’t-“

“Mixing? They already live together!” Sydney replies, defensively.

“Wouldn’t be surprised if they’re already” Four murmured, before snapping his mouth closed when Carmen narrows his eyes to him.

“It’s not about fucking tradition, or whatever. I’m not gonna put her-you in that situation and make you uncomfortable”

“Why would you make me uncomfortable?” You murmur without thinking, and the booth goes quiet.

Carmen shakes his head, blinking as you remain quiet.

You wince at the silence, maneuvering your body quickly out of the booth as you almost fall out.

“Uh-I’m going to get a drink” You reply quickly

Carmen's body isn’t fast enough for his legs and he stands up from his position on the booth quickly, almost tumbling over.

“I’ll come with you”

You shake your head, forcing a tight smile as you wave him off.

“It’s okay, I know your order” You reply quickly, turning around without seeing the look on Carmen’s face.

You slide into one of the vacant barstools, signalling to the bartender as they make the rounds across the counter.

The rows of silver bracelets that hang around the bartender's wrists cling as they mix and shake drinks, and you let yourself get lost in the glittering light show of them reflecting off the bar lights. They distract you enough to not notice the man that now leers over you.

You flinch when you feel his hand touch your shoulder, and when you turn expecting one of the guys from the Bear you're taken back when you're met with a five o clock shadow and a stink of vodka.

“What's a girl like you doin’ all alone?”

“I’m good” You grit out from between your teeth

“Oh c’mon, you girls love to play hard but what you really need-”

“I said leave me alone asswhole” You spit, roughly moving his latched fingers from your shoulder.

The man sneers, his voice growing louder and sloppy as he begins to swear at you. His hands find their way to your waist, and the shiver of disgust turns into a familiar sharp pain as you shout out.

“You fucking bitch” The man starts, before you see the flash of dirty blonde curls cover your vision and the feeling of his fingers around you is wrenched off.

Carmen’s hands are around his neck, and he slams him into the wooden floors of the Bar with ease. He holds him there before turning to look up at you, his eyes blown out and his eyebrows furrowed behind his curls. Your chest heaves as you meet his gaze, and you watch as his eyes trail down your body, almost surveying the extent of your injuries and filing it into his mind so that it is all he thinks about when he breaks the skin across his knuckles.

You watch Carmen work, watch the way his shoulders and back contorts under every movement that lands a punch into the man's face. The buzzing chatter of the bar increases, as people begin to take notice of the shouts of frazzled swears and slobby slurs that leave the man's mouth. Someone screams there is a fight, and the bartender mutters obscenities as they try to push through the crowd.

Carmen lands punch after punch into his face, with no real sense of stopping as his movements grow more and more crazed with every crack of skin and dribble of blood that paints his hands. Carmen's eyes look determined, like he had a goal to all of this, and when Richie and the rest of the team pushes past the crowd and shouts out to him to stop, he looks up at you do you know.

You didn’t get to see what he had done to your husband, or how. But now, he takes his time with the man under him who kicks and fails, blubbering out blood and drool. He continues to stare at you, and the rest of the patrons look on in horror as the man under Carmen becomes disguised by the brutality of Carmens fists across his body. You hear the crack of bone, and when the man screams out a loose and garbled apology from the swollen tongue of his mouth, does Carmen flick his eyes down to him.

“You’re sorry? Yeah?” Carmen murmurs, softly

The man nods eagerly, his mouth filling with blood and his eyes swollen

“I’m not sure I believe that” Carmen replies, sending his foot into the mans stomach as he keels over

“Okay, Carmen that's enough” Richie calls out

“All I did was ask her a question!” The man screams out, his words jagged and unclear

“Hey, you shut the fuck up” Richie replies, before clocking his head to try and meet Carmens gaze who is back on you

“Look man, I get it. That one time wasn’t enough, but you can’t keep doing this”

Carmen grinds his teeth, as you look on in awe as his knuckles bleed violently, throwing his arm up and swinging down onto the man.

You got what you needed from this, and so when you step closer to Carmen and turn your head to the side you can only think of one thing

“I’m banned for at least 12 months”

You watch his fingers loosen around the man's bloody shirt, and Carmen wipes his hands across the man's chest before slowly straightening up from his crouched position.

“Get the fuck out, the both of you before the cops get here” The bartender grits out, shaking his head.

Carmen nods, “I’m not fucking sorry”

“Yeah yeah I know” The bartender rolls his eyes, before you grab Carmen's arm and push through the gawking faces of onlookers

You find a door leading out to a side alleyway, and you both fall out from the door into a combined heap.

“I had to do it okay? The way he was looking at you and that fucking hand around your side I couldn’t just let him-“ Carmen starts, chest heaving up and down and the splatter of spit and blood across his jaw

You don’t let him finish the rushed words that fall out of his mouth before you cover it with your own. Gripping onto the loose collar of his shirt, you drink down the anger and violence that had been festering on the both of you.

Carmen tastes sweet, like the cranberry jus he had been preparing, and rough too, like his worn workmen jacket and the pepper taste of his nicotine gum.

You realise then that you would never taste something as great as that, and that you would be chasing the feeling of how Carmen’s lips against your own vibrates through you from head to foot.

You pull away with quickness, chest heaving and eyes wide as you feel Carmen’s mouth warm your chest.

Carmen doesn’t blink, he stares at you, the brittle Chicago winter blowing his hair across his forehead and the distant sound of sirens and he stares at you.

“I’m not sorry” You whisper, pressing your lips together

“Good” Carmen replies before you’ve even uttered the last word.

And when you blink the cold smoke of his breath is over you again, his inked fingers cradle your head and he takes your mouth again.

You don’t stop the crash of your open mouths and dipping tongues until the warmth of Carmen covers you entirely, until November in Chicago feels like July.

taglist !

@kpopgirlbtssvt @hansfics @nolita-fairytale @parmforcarm @rooster-bradshaw

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rafeandonlyrafe · 10 months ago

Text

accused (part two)

words: 1k

warnings: established relationship, accusations of stealing, protective!rafe (hes such a good boyfriend <3)

followed (part one) / accused (part two)

“hi.” you smile, cheeks slightly blushed.

“hello, beautiful.” rafe doesn't give you time to be nervous, pulling you into a hug.

you relax into his hold, taking a deep inhale and exhale as your cheek rests against his chest, remembering the solace you found in his arms when you needed it most.

“excited?” rafe asks.

“we are just getting ice cream together.” you giggle.

“yeah, sure.” rafe joins in your laughter, loving the way it sounds in his ears. “but it's an ice cream date.”

“does that mean you're gonna kiss me goodnight?” you look at the rapidly setting sun.

“of course.” rafe loops your hands together, guiding you towards the line to order.

-- 6 months later --

“missed you.” you wrap your arms around rafes shoulders, pulling him down into a strong kiss.

“missed you too, baby.” rafe doesn't point out that it's only been a couple days, having to spend the weekend apart as you were out of town with your parents.

“what are your plans?” rafe asks, hands gently massaging up and down your back.

“hanging out with you all day-”

“and night.” rafe interrupts you, smirking.

“anyways, then shopping with the girls tomorrow. we might also go out for dinner.” you shrug.

“sounds fun.” rafe nods. “just staying on the island though, right?” rafe knows you usually like to go inland or up the coast to shop, but that's usually a longer planned trip.

“mhm. just gonna hit all those little boutiques.” you shake your head, “but i dont wanna talk about tomorrows plans.”

“what do you wanna talk about then, sweetheart?” rafe asks.

“don't wanna talk.” you admit shyly. “just wanna kiss you.”

rafe bends down, lifting you up with large hands under his thighs, rushing up the stairs. “we can definitely do that, baby.

“that looks so cute on you!” you squeal, grabbing your friend giannas hand and pulling her over to the mirror.

“i love it!” she gushes before checking the pricetag. “only $85, im absolutely buying it.”

“oh, girl that's a steal!” you nod.

“it's not like you don't have rafes credit card.” tina rolls her eyes, but there's a smile on her face to convey she's not serious.

“he says to buy whatever i want, as long as i give him a fashion show when i get home.” you say as gianna heads back into the changing room to get back into her clothes.

you pull out your phone to text rafe an update as tina does the same to her boyfriend.

hey rafeyyy miss you! shopping is going so well 💕 I think we're gonna hit up like two or three more stores and then ill be home!

alright, princess. have fun. see you real soon ❤️

“can i take some of the dresses?” the voice makes you jump, not even realizing that the shop owner was standing in front of gianna, hand outstretched.

“uh, yeah.” she hands over two of the hangers. “im not getting these two.”

the owner makes a disgruntled face, looking over the other two dresses gianna is still holding. “where's the other dress?”

“what dress?” you interject.

“yeah, she only tried on four.” tina adds.

“well, i saw five go in. you'll have to empty your bag.”

gianna is only wearing a small purse, no way a dress would even fit inside of it, but that's not the point, it's the principle that counts.

“hell no!” you say. “check the security cameras if you want, but we aren't allowing you to search us.”

“really?” the shop keepers eyebrows rise, like she expected you to just bow your head since you're a group of younger girls. “i guess you'll just have to pay for the dress i saw go into the dressing room and didn't come out. its $500.”

you pull out your phone, furiously messaging rafe and sending him your location.

“you messed with the wrong person.” tina shakes her head.

“and here, i don't want these either.” gianna hands the owner the other two dresses, even the one she loved.

“yeah, we will never shop here again.” tina says.

“we don't need thieves like you, anyways!” she grabs the dresses. “just pay for the one you're trying to steal and get out!”

you're sure if she pulled this scam on other people that they'd just get sick of the arguing and pay up, but you're absolutely refusing to play into her little game.

you smile as you hear the door open then slam closed, turning to see rafe with an angry look on his face.

“thank god you're here, rafe. this lady is trying to say we're stealing from her but refuses to watch the security cameras.” you inform him.

“is that so?” rafe looks around the shop.

“rafe…” the shop keeper mumbles, trying to figure out why she knows the name. “you're rafe cameron?”

“yeah.” he crosses his arms. “like cameron development cameron. you know, the ones who own this entire block? including your landlords?” rafe tsks, shaking his head side to side. “i wonder what my dad would say if he knew you were accosting his son's girlfriend.”

“im-im sorry. i think this is all a big misunderstanding.” the owner quickly quoted, rushing away back to the counter.

“gianna, tina, you girls okay?” rafe asks.

“yeah.” tina twirls her hair around her finger, making you give her a quick glare.

“all good, thanks rafe.” gianna nods.

“lets get you girls out of here.” rafe wraps his arm around your shoulder, leading you out of the shop.

he presses a kiss to the top of your head once you're outside, leading you a couple steps away from your friends. “want to keep shopping? or are you done?”

“maybe…” you pout your lower lip out and look up at rafe. “maybe you could come with us to the next couple shops?”

rafe can't control the smile that stretches over his cheeks. “id be more than happy to, baby.”

you let out a little squeal, pressing your lips against his cheek. “i hate to say it, but thank god that guy followed me that day. cause i got the best boyfriend ever out of it.”

sfw taglist: @winterrrnight @bejeweledreverie

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rayhalloffame · 1 month ago

Text

A little self indulgent but working in a career where you also have to be very precise with your hands. Carmen is down a chef and you’ve cooked with him enough to kind of have an idea of how his kitchen flows and what his techniques are so you offer to stand in.

Regardless, you struggle to keep up with the flurry of movements and shouting during dinner service. Someone is saying “behind” or “corner” or “yes, chef”, pans are sizzling, oven doors are slamming. Knives are chopping. Specifically, your knife into a steak, cooked to perfection by Tina. And then a loud bang startles you, causing you to slice into your finger. It stuns you more than anything else, knife dropping from your hand and onto the work station. Before you have a chance to move your hand blood trickles from your finger onto the wagyu. You’re frozen in place.

Carmen is shouting for wagyu to table 7, yesterday. Your lack of response is what causes his head to pop up from his position at expo, finding your ashen face staring at your hand. “Chef,” he says, waits a beat, then prompts you again to no avail. He dusts his hands on the towel hanging from his apron while he approaches you. You’re dazed until his hands come up to cradle your face, tapping one hand gently on your cheek and calling your name. It brings your attention back to present. Your eyes flick between his concerned ones and the steak sitting dead in front of you. “You alright?”

Your lip wobbles immediately. “I – the steak, uh,” you’re trying with a shaky breath. It’s not even the pain in your finger or the embarrassment. You just put the whole team behind by bleeding on a dish. Carmen’s brow creases. He wraps a hand around your wrist to inspect the wound that has now begun to pool blood at the site. “I ruined the steak, chef. I’m sorry.” Your eyes get glassier by the second.

Carmen nods curtly. “T, take over,” he asks, making brief eye contact with the small chef. Tina agrees, concerned but doesn’t ask questions. Carm returns his attention to you, brings his voice down an octave. “C’mon,” he says, applies some force on your wrist to nudge you backwards. “Step out.” The panicked, apologetic look you give him makes him more insistent, wanting to get you away from the chaos and prying eyes. He’s appreciative for Sydney when she commands, “Chefs, listen to the sound of my voice.”

He guides you quickly with a hand to the small of your back and the other still holding your wrist afloat. A tear is sliding down your cheek by the time Carmen has your finger under running water. He glances at you from under his lashes. “Hurts?” You shake your head and wipe angrily at your cheek. “It’s okay, you’re okay,” he murmurs, softness so different from his harsh control of the kitchen moments before. It makes you feel worse.

“I got it,” you say gruffly around the frog in your throat, pulling your hand from his grip, “get back out there.” Carmen stands with his hands on his hips, watching you inspect your cleaned finger before wrapping a paper towel around it tightly. You turn off the faucet and brush past him to find bandages in the office and he follows.

Except when you do step into the office you stop moving. You drop your head and pull long shaky breaths into your lungs, hands clenching and unclenching. Carmen spins you by your shoulders and tugs you into him, triggering a sob to fall from your lips. He rubs a hand down the back your head comfortingly. “I don’t—,” he starts, “Bear, why’re you so upset?”

You start babbling, “I – I ruined the dish, Carm.” You get your works out between sniffles and hiccups, the collar of his chef’s whites wet with your efforts. “We were already behind an – and I was slow, and I bled on it and T – ina worked so hard on it.” You can feel Carmen’s nods against the side of your face.

“Its a kitchen, baby,” he says. “People get injured all the time. We refire and keep going.”

“I wanted to help and I let you down,” you sniffle. You calm yourself after a few moments. Realizing that you’re holding him up even more, you pull yourself from his embrace. “Go, go,” you shoo him, “I got this, I’m okay.”

Carmen inspects your finger when you unwrap it and decides it’s not dire, that you can care for it on your own if that’s what you want. He cradles your jaw, rubs his thumb across your cheek. You pull one side of your mouth up in a sad smile. “Could never let me down. I appreciate you stepping in for me and, uh, it’s nice. Y’know, seeing you in my space.” He nods, tilts his head to the side. “You’re okay.” Carmy reels you in to kiss the top of your head then lets you go. “Your station is still yours if – uh, if you want to come back.” You smile lightly at him in acknowledgement before he drops his hand and retreats. You do end up returning once you’re bandaged and composed, spurred on by the assuring expression Carmen gifts you each time his eyes linger on you.

#the bear #carmen berzatto x reader #carmy berzatto x reader #I’m a people pleaser yes I’m projecting #I also work in medicine so precise with my hands… also projecting

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watermelonlovershigh · 4 months ago

Note

i went through your masterlist and i saw you wrote about the reader being insecure about having an outie (literally thank you for even writing about it !! i’ve never seen anyone write about that insecurity before) and i was wondering if you could write about the reader not letting harry go down on her bc she’s insecure about her outtie and harry doesn’t know about her insecurity until he questions why he can’t eat her out and he’s all loving to her afterwards ☺️

"Can I taste you?" /SMUT/

AN: i loved this ask as soon as i seen it because a perfect scenario of how i wanted this to go came to me. and thank you. outies are the most common for women to have. but all vaginas are beautiful. i hope you enjoy and remember to send your feedback to let me know how i've done. thanks for reading. xoxo ps. i debated on posting this today or not after the events that happened two days ago, but i hope by posting this it can distract some of your minds from the devastation of recent tragedies.

This story contains: mentions of a verbally abusive ex, body insecurities, comfort, smut (female receiving oral sex), fluff

{ boyfriendrry - soft!harry - au!harry - dating for three months }

word count- 2,512

You have major insecurities about how your body looks due to an ex boyfriend, so when your current boyfriend Harry asks if he can taste you for the first time, your reaction forces him to give you comforting words to easy your worries.

Over the course of three months, you and Harry have been dating and it's been an incredible experience. Normally, you spend your time at each other's homes, watching films or playing board games. But recently, Harry has been putting more effort into making your time together special. Therefore, when Friday comes, he wanted to take you out for a pleasant dinner instead of remaining indoors throughout the evening.

It's worthy to note that your relationship was initiated by mutual friends. Tina, a friend from your college years, and Carter, who works with Harry, were neighbors growing up. Upon discovering they both had a single friend from their separate lives, they took the initiative to set the two of you up. Although you felt quite anxious about the blind date, you now have no regrets, as it's introduced you to the wonderful person that Harry was.

Another important detail regarding your relationship is that the most intimate you've gotten is making out. You informed Harry on your first date that you wanted to take things slow, and he's respected that boundary. Your first kiss was shared approximately five dates in, and you didn't engage in making out until the sixth date. Although you very much desire going further with your sexy boyfriend, your fear of intimacy is getting in the way, which stems from some very hurtful things your verbally abusive ex once said to you. It's brought your confidence way down and the idea of having sex ever again terrifies you.

Your dinner date was delightful. Harry brought you to an Italian restaurant situated in downtown London, where you had great conversations and delicious pasta. After your meal, Harry invited you back to his place, and you found it hard to say no. You appreciated the warmth and coziness of his charming house. Unlike the standard apartment or house of many millennial guys, Harry's home had the inviting essence of a grandparent's house, specifically the ones that were smoke-free.

As you arrived back to his house, both of you made your way to his couch, where the atmosphere began to shift drastically. During the car journey, it was clear that Harry was restless, his hand lingering on your thigh as he navigated the road. Yet, this version of Harry is unlike any you've previously seen. He kisses you with an intensity that's almost primal, and you find yourself responding eagerly. His large hands gently holds your jaw as your mouths align, and your tongues dance together.

With a brief pause from your lips, Harry begins trailing kisses down your jaw until he reaches your neck. Although he hadn't ventured this far before, the pleasure was so intense that you don't think to stop him. However, your response to his soft inquiry against your warm skin—"Can I taste you? Hhm? I really wanna taste you."—caused your entire body to freeze. This reaction leads Harry to withdraw his lips, concerned that he was progressing too quickly for your comfort tonight.

"Shit, m'sorry. I shouldn't have asked that. Forget I said anythin'. Can just keep kissin' if you'd like. Or not. We can cuddle if you're more comfortable with that. Whatever you want." Nervous Harry tends to ramble a lot, you've come to learn.

The sight of Harry's distress concerning your potential rejection of his suggestion evokes a feeling of sadness within you. You want Harry to, have a taste, as he puts it. You're certain of his talents in that department. Yet, the notion of him seeing you entirely fills you with anxiety. "Um, no, it's not that I don't want you to. It's just um... well..."

"What is it, Y/n? You can tell me. I'd never judge you?" Harry speaks softly, wanting you to know he'd never judge you for your reasoning, nor would he push you to do anything you didn't want to do. It was a mere suggestion on his part from being in the heat of the moment.

With a deep breath, you decide to share, "Um, my ex, the one I've mentioned before...... Well, anytime we'd get intimate, having sex or other things, he would constantly criticize my body. He would highlight specific areas that he found unappealing, often saying how I didn't look like his past partners. He even suggested that I get surgery to resemble the women he viewed in porn." It's now apparent that his addiction to pornography significantly influenced his views, causing him to adopt an unrealistic standard of beauty for women to have.

Shocked, Harry exclaims with anger bubbling in his chest, "I can't believe he would say such things to you. M'sorry. I want you to know that I would never think or express those words to you. Every body is uniquely different, and that's what makes us who we are. When you're ready for us to be fully intimate with one another, please remember that your appearance will never concern me."

His warm words have a profound effect on your heart. Although the remarks from your ex continue to echo in your thoughts, the notion of Harry eating you out becomes increasingly enticing. Dismissing your anxieties, you respond with certainty, "We can... I mean, you can if that's what you want to do. I trust you, Harry. It’s not that I was ever against the idea of you eating me out or us eventually having sex. Just um, my ex's criticisms left me feeling insecure about how you would view my body. But after sharing what I did, I feel better about it and trust you enough to go there with you."

Harry looks directly in your eyes before confirming, "You sure? I don't have to if you think it's too much tonight. We can always wait until you feel more comfortable."

"I'm sure, Harry." If he keeps stalling and looking for your reassurance, it may lead to you overthinking the situation and reconsider your permission. The quicker he begins, the better. Harry leans in to place a final kiss on your lips before he slowly kneels down in front of you. With a measured pace, he starts kissing up your jean covered legs, moving from your knees to your upper thighs. When you felt his fingers exploring your empty belt loops, you gave a nod, giving him the go-ahead to slide the fabric down.

After your jeans have been entirely taken off and carelessly thrown onto the living room floor for later attention, Harry looks down and notices a wet patch on the front of your underwear. A smile forms on his face, pleased to see that you've become so aroused just from kissing. He wonders how you've manage to stay so composed during your past make out sessions when things didn't progress further like they are tonight. He's knows for himself personally, he often had to sneak away to the bathroom to relieve himself after your dates when lengthy kissing sessions were involved.

In a display of bravery, instead of waiting for Harry to ask if he could pull down your panties, you raise your hips from the couch and start removing them yourself. You consciously avoid looking down, fearful of his reaction, and keep your eyes fixated on the ceiling. When Harry catches sight of the lower half of your exposed body, he appears bewildered, unable to identify any imperfections that your previous partner could have mentioned. You look completely normal in his eyes.

In the past, Harry has slept with several women and with each one, has appreciated their bodies as they were. To him, as a grown ass man, pussy is pussy, regardless if the women was clean shaven or rocking a bush. Whether her lower lips were petite or more pronounced, he found all variations to be perfectly normal and enjoyable. (As long as they were clean, hygiene wise, of course.) Just like he's aware no two dicks look the same either.

"Y/n, look at me."

You cast a hesitant glance downward, where you notice a gentle smile on Harry's face, making his dimples pop out more prominently. He extends his hands to grasp yours, which are resting at your sides, and speaks in a soothing tone, "Do you know what I see, Y/n? Hm? I see a perfectly normal vagina. It appears entirely typical. In my past experiences with various women, I can honestly say that many of them resembled yours. I believe what yours looks like is quite common, at least based on what I've seen in person. What is often seen in porn is largely artificial. Many of those women undergo surgeries to achieve those Barbie lookin' genitals. So do not allow anyone to convince you that this *gestures towards your pussy with his hands* is anythin' but natural, normal."

His sincere compliments nearly bring you to the brink of tears. Where has Harry been all your life? He's always so kind and nurturing. His personality is completely different from any man you have ever dated or had a fling with. He seems to be the epitome of perfection, and you're starting to think that you might be in love with him, even after just three months of dating.

Just before he starts, Harry asks a final question. "One last question before I begin. Did your ex at least manage to make you come when he ate you out?" He's eager to know this information to ensure that he can provide an exceptional performance, aiming for you to come hard from just his tongue alone.

Shaking your head, you respond embarrassedly, "No, um, he typically only spent a few minutes down there, and it was never long enough for me to reach an orgasm." It perplexed him how any man, apart from a gay man of course, could limit themselves to just a few minutes of giving oral pleasure to a female, when he personally could easily immerse himself in a woman's pussy for an eternity. Engaging in such acts may very well be his greatest passion.

"We'll have to change that, won't we." Harry speaks seductively right over your damp pussy, his hot breath bringing chills up your spine, and moving one of his hands out of your grasp to rest on your pubic bone. Maintaining eye contact, you observe as Harry leans in and traces a broad line from the hole in which your dripping from, up to your clitoris. He then proceeds to circle his tongue languidly around your clit while his thumb holds back the hood for more exposure, prompting you to arch your body against the couch in pleasure. The sensation his tongue is giving you is far more pleasurable than any experience you had with your previous partner(s).

With one hand still intertwined with yours, which remains at your side, Harry stays persistent in licking, sucking, and almost devouring your entire pussy as if he hasn't eaten all day. He eats you like a starved man. Eventually, he lets go of your other hand and splays it out on your bare thigh, encouraging you to spread your legs wider for him. You find it increasingly difficult to keep your legs from closing as he concentrates on your throbbing clit.

Harry realizes now that your hands are no longer in his, they seem to be longing for something to hold again. Momentarily withdrawing from your slick cunt, he instructs, "Put your hands in my hair. I don't mind. Pull and tug as you please; it won't hurt me, promise." With a hint of hesitation, you comply. You lace your fingers through his brown curls and as soon as his mouth returns to your clit, you can't help but tug on his hair, drawing him impossibly closer to your core.

He carries on for another three minutes, making your sensitivity levels escalate and your body grow warmer. With one final, firm tug on his hair, you cry out, "Oh my God! Mhm, fuck! I'm gonna come, Har......Harryy!" At that moment, an overwhelming sensation washes over you. As Harry continues to flick his tongue over your pulsating clit, you hold his head tightly against you, not caring whether he can breath or not in the moment. As the intense orgasm envelopes you, your mind becomes completely empty of any worries or thoughts.

Slowly, the intensity of your high starts to subside, leaving you breathless on Harry's couch as he gradually removes his mouth from your sensitive pussy. While your eyes focus their gaze on the ceiling, you felt the soft caresses of Harry's thumbs tracing circles on your bare thighs, which finally compels you to look down. The first thing you notice is his face covered in a glossy substance from having been nestled between your legs, and then a smile that was unmistakably joyful.

You're completely lost for words. That may have been a stronger orgasm then you've ever given yourself. "So...." Harry begins nervously, "how was that?"

"Um.... wow, that was.....just wow."

Harry finds amusement in how he's rendered you at a loss of words. "Made you speechless, have I?" he teased. You nod in agreement, prompting him to continue. "See, I promised you there was nothin' to fear. Your pussy is as beautiful as it is tasty. You should never feel self-conscious with me; I'd never pass judgment on you for somethin' out of your control." His honesty touches your heart. He consistently proves himself to be a true gentleman, elevating your standards for men to a very high level. You really hope this relationship lasts, because you believe it'll be difficult to find someone as perfect as Harry ever again.

-------------------------------

Harry assisted you in cleaning up and asked if you'd like to stay the night. You had spent nights together in the past, alternating between each other's homes, but those times generally involved sharing a bed without cuddling, as Harry was uncertain about your comfort with such closeness. However tonight, after he'd seen you half naked with his face between your legs, your comfort level had clearly advanced beyond what it had been previously.

After both of you got into bed, you remained on your individual sides until you felt bold enough to initiate cuddling with your boyfriend. You realized that Harry was being cautious still, so you decided to move closer, laying your head on his chest and draping your left arm over his waist. "Is this alright?" you quietly asked in the dark room.

Harry quickly loosed his stiff body up and wrapped his arms around you, so he could hold you close. Whispering back, Harry replied, "Definitely alright. I love cuddles." Now that you know Harry loved cuddles, you'll have to give him cuddles more often.

Soon sleep found you both and the house became quiet. The only sounds that could be heard was your soft breathing and the rustling of trees outside. After tonight, you feel way more confident to go further with Harry. Matter of fact, you hope you can go further with him really soon. Just the thought of that brings excitement to you, and certain parts of your body.

(PLEASE REBLOG BECAUSE WRITING IS NOT EASY AND IT'S FREE SO JUST DO IT)

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taglist: @swiftmendeshoran // @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite // @hsonlyangelxo // @lunabai // @ppleasingg // @harryscherrysugar // @devilsqueen722

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#harry styles #harry styles fic rec #harry styles fan fiction #boyfriendrry #boyfriend!harry #softrry #soft!harry #harry styles smut #smut #harry styles angst #angst #harry styles fluff #fluff #fic request #request #requested

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seethesin · 2 years ago

Text

multitasking

pairing: Shane McCutcheon x F!Reader

tags/warnings: sexual content, facesitting, cunnilingus (mdni, 18+)

a/n: based on this prompt. enjoy :)

The dinner party invitation from Bette & Tina came as a surprise to you. You accepted, of course, wanting nothing more than to spend quality time with Shane's loved ones. However, a part of you couldn't understand why you were added to the guest list. What you and Shane had was—for lack of better words—a situationship. Neither of you expected more out of the other than incredible sex, mutual respect for boundaries, and someone who was always down to have fun. Something as intimate as attending a dinner party together screamed commitment. Regardless, the two of you agreed to go together. Shane insisted on picking you up by 7:00 to be there for 7:30.

"It makes it easier," you remember Shane justifying over the phone. She babbled on about something regarding limited parking space; in hindsight, it was a lame excuse just to spend more time with you.

As promised, Shane was punctual. She was at your home by 6:30 sharp for a pickup. However, you were nowhere near ready. Thankfully, you showered, dried, and styled your hair already. But, you still needed to pick your outfit and put makeup on. You were going to need at least a half hour.

Shane blaring her car horn while parked in your driveway brought you back into reality.

"Oh my god," you mutter to yourself, searching your bedroom for your phone. Finding it underneath the dresses splayed over your bed, you smash the call button by Shane's contact and wait. Her car horn finally stops and your favorite husky voice answers on the other line.

"I'm here, [Y/N]."

"Yes, I know Shane. As does the rest of my neighborhood."

She chuckles, tickled by your tone.

"Are you ready?"

"Not yet, I still have to do a few things."

"Do you know what you're wearing yet?"

Silence. Shane's laughing now.

"Should I come in and wait?"

You sigh, defeated. "I'll unlock the door."

You end the call and hustle over to the front door. You unlock it and hold it open for Shane as she makes her way towards you, a smug smile glued onto her face.

She looks good. She always does. But there was something about the tailored suit jacket, dress shirt, and trouser combination she donned that made her look even sexier than usual. You shake that thought out of your head; you need to get ready.

"Hey, [Y/N]," she greets you, stepping into your home as you shut and lock the door behind her. You turn to face her and she's already leering at you. Her smirk does not falter.

"You sure you don't want to wear that tonight?"

Glancing down at yourself, you blink back your shock. Since you couldn't decide on what to wear, you kept your bra and underwear on but threw a robe over yourself for modesty's sake. If you weren't crunched for time, you would have taken it to throw a smart comment back at Shane. Instead, you playfully punch her in the shoulder, unable to stop yourself from grinning back. She holds up her hands in mock surrender.

"Do you want anything?" you ask, getting ready to step into the kitchen. Shane shakes her head, settling down on your couch instead.

"I'm going to finish getting ready. If you need me, I'm in my room, okay?" Shane salutes you like a soldier, snatching up the TV remote before turning it on. Half seriously, you roll your eyes before slipping down the hallway.

Your brain kicks into overdrive as you check the time. 6:34. Okay, you have some time.

Exhaling slowly, you look at the three dresses spread on your bed. Childishly, you close your eyes and whisper out the eenie meenie miney mo spiel to yourself. Once you finish, you open your eyes and take in your randomized decision. It was a batwing, beige a-line dress with a white floral pattern. Good enough.

Shedding your robe off, you slip into the dress before smoothing it out. You check yourself in the mirror and, once content with how you look, put the other dresses away. You then pull the chair out to your vanity and take a seat.

You’ve just finished applying a layer of foundation when you see Shane enter your bedroom from the corner of the mirror.

“Hey,” you offer, looking back at yourself and you start blending blush into your cheeks. She nods in reply.

“I got bored.” she finally admits, settling down on your bed. It sounds like Shane wants to add something to her statement, but she ends it curtly. She's fiddling with her rings, looking around your bedroom as if it's the first time she's been inside. If you didn't know any better, you would think something was making her nervous.

“So you’ve come to bother me?” you question teasingly, your tone light as you move onto bronzer.

Shane flashes a boyish grin at you, watching as you paint across your hairline with great interest. “Absolutely.”

“Lucky me.” It’s hard not to smile back at her, so you don’t bother to hide it.

Shane lays back on your bed, her legs draped over the foot of it while her head hits just under your pillows. She's staring at the ceiling, eyes wandering until she notes the windowsill above your headboard. Her brows furrow and then, a wicked thought crosses her mind.

"[Y/N]?" Shane's sitting up now, watching as you finish your highlight.

"Yes?"

"How much more do you need to do?"

"Just my eyes and lips, why?"

Shane beams.

"How good are you at multitasking?"

You don't follow. Your interest, however, is piqued.

"Pretty good. Why?"

Her tongue darts out, wetting her lips as she stares at you. You know that look all too well.

"Set your stuff up on the windowsill and c'mere."

You watch her incredulously through the mirror before turning around to look at her directly. She's serious; she's waiting for you expectantly as she drums her fingernails on her thighs. You glance at the clock. 6:45. Fine, you'll humor her.

Gathering the rest of your makeup and a desk mirror, you walk towards your bed before putting everything down on the windowsill. You take a moment to set up the mirror before you look down at Shane.

"I'm here, Shane," you mimic her from earlier, watching as she lays back down on your bed. Raising her hands toward you, she wiggles her fingers in a come hither motion.

"Take a seat."

"Shane—"

"Multitask," she chides, one hand dropping to the hem of your dress. "Unless you really don't want to."

Truthfully, the idea of grinding your cunt into Shane's mouth sounded heavenly. Receiving an orgasm or two out of it sounded even better. So you relent, hooking your thumbs under the waistband of your underwear before sliding them off. Scooping up the skirt of your dress, you climb onto your bed and kneel over Shane's face.

"You ready?" you ask, watching Shane nod eagerly before seating yourself on her face. She grips your thighs, readjusting you so you're positioned comfortably on top of her. You reach for a makeup brush and shudder once you feel Shane lick a stripe from your slit to clit. Fifteen minutes you remind yourself as you start with your eyeshadow.

Shane, meanwhile, does not feel the same time crunch. She's consuming your cunt with open-mouthed kisses, pivoting to kitten licks to get a feel of what you like in this position. Her blunt fingernails dig into your thighs, grounding you as her mouth continues to work. A devious suck to your clit makes you whine and her smirk sears into your skin.

Meanwhile, you've managed to complete your eyeshadow for one eye and have moved on to the other. Shane is insatiable though; she rips another moan from your throat as her tongue rubs tight circles around your clit.

"Fuck," you whisper, trying to compose yourself before starting the other eye. Shane hums in pleasure underneath you; the vibration against your pussy makes you squirm. The coil in your stomach is beginning to tighten and desperately, you try to control your panting. You instead focus on breathing through your nose as you blend the powder into your lid. Shane keeps you on edge, her tongue flickering against your clit before sliding down to your slit.

It's when she slips her tongue inside your pussy that your resolve falters. You finished with the eyeshadow, but you didn't trust yourself enough to put eyeliner on. Or mascara for that matter. One hand sinks into Shane's hair, grabbing tightly as you lurch forward. You choke on a groan as your hips teeter, enjoying the feeling of her tongue pistoning inside you.

It's garbled, but Shane is snickering beneath you.

"Shane." It comes out as a pitiful rasp while you shake like a leaf. Maybe no eyeliner tonight. She pinches your thighs playfully to retort, making you swivel around her tongue. You opt instead to put your lipstick on. You remove your hand from Shane's hair to grab the tube in front of you. Popping the cap off, you twist before applying a quick swipe on your bottom lip. Another whimper peels from your throat as you feel the flat of Shane's tongue stroke against your clit. The tip pumps into you, maintaining the same rhythm as before.

The sensations are starting to overstimulate you. Quiveringly, you swipe your upper lip before mashing them together, rubbing the lipstick in. You snap the cap back and nearly toss it onto the windowsill, in favor of grabbing the edge of it for purchase. Your thighs keep Shane's head vised in place as your orgasm washes over you. You're gasping and panting as you cum, eyes screwed shut as your body goes rigid. Shane's pace slows, opting instead to let you rut into her tongue to ride out the remainder of your orgasm. A few moments later, you slump forward.

You feel her tap on your thigh gently and taking the hint, you scramble off her face. Shane takes a few seconds to rest before sitting back up. Her chin is shining with your slick and she rubs it off with the palm of her hand, throwing a half-lidded gaze in your direction.

"You look good," she slurs huskily, taking the time to drag her eyes down your face. You're not sure if you're flushing from her compliment or if it's just the afterglow.

"Thank you." You glance at the clock and your eyes go wide. "Fuck!"

7:05.

You spring back up to the windowsill, swiftly grabbing the tube of mascara before twisting it open and brushing it through your lashes.

"We're gonna be late!" you hiss, scanning through the rest of the products spread out in front of you. There was no time for anything else and you instead take a moment to look over yourself in the mirror. Hopping off the bed, you swipe up your underwear and pull them up, smoothing down the skirt of your dress.

Suddenly, Shane's hands are on your hips and she yanks you into her chest. You stop moving and peer up at Shane through your lashes. Your heart flips in your chest as she flashes you a rare, genuine smile.

"You know, there's a thing called being fashionably late, [Y/N]." She winks and you can't help but mirror her grin. You press a kiss on her cheek, almost upset that the lipstick didn't transfer.

"Doesn't mean we have to keep everyone waiting." You got her there. Nodding, she released your hips before motioning to your bedroom door.

"After you, sugar."

#shane mccutcheon #shane mccutcheon imagine #the l word #shane mccutcheon x reader #the l word imagine #tlw fandom #tlw #wlw #smut #fanfiction #fanfic

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thecapricunt1616 · 9 months ago

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Bestie! Dad Carmy

Surprise! Dad! Carmy is still rotting my brain. Just thinking about Carmy during the 12-18 month stage with his first baby (more btc).

Bc like I don’t have kids myself yet but have been around them a lot and 12-18 months is when things start getting fun. Babies are laughing and starting to talk a bit more and show interests.

He would absolutely be a clingy dad. Like the first year I absolutely think he would have Syd take the reins on the restaurant and he would more handle the back of house book type things so he could just stay home more, but if he did have to go to the restaurant - I can see his little angel being The Bears mascot.

Like he would walk in, sunglasses on, baseball cap, dad mode activated wearing his baby on his front like in one of those stretchy carriers. His baby even would have on little sunglasses herself bc she gotta twin with dad, that’s her bestie. He would walk in through the back and go into the office just to grab something on his way to run some errands but would run into Tina or something and it would become a whole ordeal.

If it’s pre-service time everyone is taking turns holding her and playing with her, Carmy is proudly showing off as soon as she can say ‘dada’. You can bet if it’s pre-service he’s getting her all dressed up in a cute outfit before he goes by because he knows everyone is gonna gush over how cute she is. He would be so blushy and proud and happy whenever he has his little mini-me with him, his mood would be a full 360 from when he’s just there to work and get shit done.

And don’t get me started if one day you went for family dinner as a surprise and they’re all sitting at the table and his baby just toddles in holding her baby bear in one hand and some random kitchen tool like a whisk she picked up as you snuck in through the back and just gently taps his side and offers it to him bc she just associates cooking tools with daddy since he’s always holding them. He would be sooooo happy like the esp if it was the first time you had surprised him with her at work- Syd would be like

“I dont think I’ve ever seen him smile that way - it’s kinda creeping me out” but he doesn’t even notice enough to tease her back because he’s so entrenched in making his baby giggle and having her try the food they’d been eating to see how she likes it since at that age they’re old enough to eat solids.

Don’t even get me started on music that baby would love music all babies do but really anything art because I mean look who her dad is but never in his life did that man ever think he would WILLINGLY dance around especially in a silly way but MAN as soon as his baby starts dancing to music he can’t help himself he’s up copying them, showing them his own dad moves to make them giggle, AUGHHHH

Also ofc your baby would want to be like her mama as well, so she would play in her kids makeup sets and show her work off to him and when he is over the moon and tells her how pretty she is and how well she did, shes gonna puppy dog eye him into allowing her to do his makeup, so one day you just come home and carmy has a head full of butterfly clips, cherry red lipgloss, and bright blue sparkly eyeshadow as well as pink blush and a tiara on with your daughter in a matching one fallen asleep infront of the tv with tangled playing or some other disney movie omggggg ugh i love him

Okay guys let me get back in my cage I just had to come out and share my thoughts hahahahaha

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msschemmenti · 3 months ago

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girl next door 🏠 - 8

The following morning Tina, while slightly hungover, was kind enough to escort Y/n back to her car. With a smile, Y/n leaned against her open drivers side door to address the older actress. “So what night are ya getting me a ticket to your show?”

Tina shook her head in amusement, “When will you be able to pull yourself away from your cul-de-sac orgy? I wouldn’t want to disrupt your usual weekend plans.”

“Oh you think you’re so funny, huh? How about closing matinee on Sunday? Even the devil’s gotta rest sometime.”

“If your morning is free, why don’t you just come hang with me at the theater? I’ll come pick you up and buy you breakfast.” Tina suggested.

“You can just say you miss me, you know?” Y/n laughed watching Tina’s cheeks redden as she rolled her eyes. “But sure. I’ll send you my address sometime before then. And call me if you need me, alright?” Tina nodded and threw a thumbs up awkwardly and Y/n just chuckled pulling her into a hug. “Too awkward for your own good. I’ll see you Sunday honey.”

Y/n stood at the front of her final class of the day and watched as their eyes glazed over a bit. “Oh come on y’all, it’s not that bad. I just want ya to watch a musical from the golden age and write a reflection.” At the groans she shook her head and placed a hand over her heart, “Bless your hearts, have it to me by next class. Get outta here.” The students hurried out and Y/n gathered her things and made her way to her office. She had to start grading her most recent music lit test tonight since she’d already signed her Sundau away. And if the previous weekends were anything to go by– Emily and JJ would probably have her other evenings tied up as well. Securing the tests in her bag she was ready to go– until she watched her department chair pop her head through her open door.

“Professor Y/n! Glad I caught you. Do you have a minute?” The Flutist beamed. The tall lanky woman was known to take much longer than a minute but Y/n knew she had to stop.

“Of course, Dr. Kelley. What can I do you for?”

“I just love your little Southern sayings. I just came by to see if you’d decided on your pieces for the faculty showcase in November. I know we’ve still got a couple days left of September– but we like to give the accompanist as much time as possible to learn the music.”

Y/n nodded her understanding and moved to her repertoire cabinet. They’d een mentioning this showcase since the first staff meeting back in August and it was slated to be a pretty big deal around campus. It was volunteer based in the department and every professor participating would need to prepare three selections to be presented during the college’s parents week. As much as she’d tried to get out of it– she was very heavily encouraged to participate. “I have. Would it help to have the sheet music now?”

“Yes! That’s be excellent. That way when we start rehearsing they’ll already have it.” The woman accepted the pages with an eager smile and practically skipped down the hall onto the next office. Y/n shook her head as she watched her go but was quick out of the door herself– more than ready to get into something comfortable for the evening.

After spending most of her afternoon grading, Y/n tore herself away from her desk and wandered through the house in an effort to stretch her aching muscles. Cooking dinner was the last thing on her mind right now so ordering out was the plan. A pizza was ordered and when it arrived she met the teen at her gate to exchange the pizza for the payment. And as she wished him a goodnight, she caught sight of her favorite neighbors climbing out of their car.

“Hi,” Y/n smiled and waved over the fences and yards separating their houses. JJ and Emily closed their doors and walked the short distance to the younger woman.

“Surprised to see you home.” JJ replied pointedly. Emily eyed her wearily and nudged her side as they came to stand outside of the gate.

Y/n quirked a brow at the older woman’s words curiously, “What do you mean?”

“JJ mentioned you have a friend in town, and we noticed you weren’t around last night so we figured you’d be with her again.” Emily jumped in.

“Oh, that. We had a little too much to drink in town and Tina was kind enough to let me sleepover. But sorry I wasn’t around— I didn’t realize you’d notice.” Emily and JJ both shrug in response. Y/n studied the women curiously, fairly confused by their behavior. The last time they’d hung out everything seemed fine and friendly but now there was some weird tension she wasn’t understanding. “Well I don’t know what your weekend plans are but if you’re looking for me Sunday, I’ll be in town.”

“With your friend.” Emily supplied.

Y/n nodded slowly, “With Tina yes. I’m seeing her show. If you’re around when she comes to pick me up, I’ll introduce you.”

“Sure. Definitely if we’re here.” JJ nodded noncommittally. At JJ’s response Y/n looked between both women and really couldn’t ignore the clear tension in the air.

“Right… are y’all good? You both seem a little— perturbed honestly.”

“Us? We’re fine, a little tired. You know with work and stuff. Nothing we can’t handle. Nothing to be concerned about.” JJ waved off.

“Oh okay,” Y/n nodded, checking her watch. “Well don’t let me keep you. Just wanted to say hello. And Goodnight, I guess.”

“Goodnight. Oh and have a nice weekend.” JJ called as they parted ways.

“Guess you guys waited too long.” Garcia sighed as she walked into the bullpen. JJ was leaning against Emily’s desk, case file in hand. Both women eyed Penelope curiously as she tapped at her phone and made her way over to them.

“Waited too long for what? What are you talking about?” Emily asked turning her chair to face Garcia.

“I’m talking about this hot blonde your neighbors been with all week. I thought you gals were gonna lock that down. What happened?” Garcia shook her head.

“Tina is a hot blonde?” JJ questioned, reaching for Garcia’s phone quickly. The tech analyst’s eyes widened at her best friend’s eager hands and passed her the phone in surrender. Emily was quick to rise from her chair and peer over JJ’s shoulder. The phone screen was paused on an instagram story of their neighbor– wrapped around a (unfortunately) hot blonde who’s face was partially buried in the younger woman’s neck. Her bright blue eyes were trained on Y/n and it was clear how smitten she was with the younger woman.

“Who’s Tina? And again, what happened to you guys making the moves on her? I was positive after girls night that you would’ve–” Garcia rambled, but stopped at the looks on JJ’s and Emily’s faces. “Wait, maybe I read this wrong. And you aren’t too late at all.”

JJ and Emily finally pulled their eyes from the phone and glared at Garcia. “Do you really think this is bullpen appropriate conversation, Pen?” JJ warned.

“When have I ever participated in bullpen appropriate conversation— I’ve been deemed a walking HR violation. And it’s clear to me you’re just trying to deflect from whatever is going on with this. Which is only making me want to know more. So spill.”

“Y/n’s ex, Tina is in town for a show and she’s been spending a bit of time with her this week.” JJ shrugged, turning her eyes back to the picture of their neighbor.

“Right okay, so why do you both look like you’re trying to kill this Tina with your eyes?”

“We are not.” Both women adamantly denied it.

“Uh huh sure. My guess is you’ve bed her but not exclusively and now her ex is here and you’re both being super weird. And

bonus points to me because I just showed you how hot her ex is.” At the women’s silence, Garcia groaned. “Oh come on, I love you girls I really do— but you’re ridiculous. You, jealousy riddled women, didn’t think any of this through?”

“Well it’s not like we expected her hot ex to pop up and keep her out all night.” Emily shrugged.

“I personally didn’t expect her ex to be this hot.” JJ chimed in.

“Oh my god. What have you been doing since then? Being weirdly jealous and catty?”

“I wouldn’t describe it as catty…” JJ answered sheepishly.

“I can’t believe this. Obviously there’s a conversation you both need to have with each other and Y/n. About the nature of your arrangement. If you’re both too chicken shit to discuss it fully, at least lay down the ground rules. So you’re not treating her oddly every time she’s out past her curfew.” Garcia chastised, poking at both women’s crossed arms. Their faces were set in frowns and they could only roll their eyes at the tech analysts words. Obviously they knew she was right— still didn’t make it easier to hear.

“And that’s the house, what do you think?” Y/n asked as she brought Tina back to the main floor. Playing the hospitable host, a tour was a must.

“You always did have a way of making any space feel like home. I think the whole townhouse suits you though. White picket fence and the yard. I’m surprised you haven’t gotten a dog already.”

“It’s on my to-do list. But I’m glad you like it, next time you visit you can book a stay at Hotel Y/n.” Y/n teased with a wink. “Come on let’s head out. I’m hungry and was promised breakfast.”

“Yes of course.” Tina laughed, stepping down the porch steps as Y/n locked her door. She turned to head for the rental she’d been using this week and caught sight of a pair of joggers down the sidewalk. Well jogging was obviously what they intended to look like they were doing but their eyes were trained on Y/n’s house and the brunette seemed to actually be walking. “I’m gonna assume these are your mistresses coming in hot.” Tina whistled as Y/n joined in the yard.

Y/n snickered as she waved at the women with a smile, “You’d be right. Come on I’ll introduce you.” She grabbed Tina’s wrist and pulled her over to the driveway where Emily and JJ were stretching. “Morning ladies. Getting some exercise in?”

JJ stood up straight and placed her hands on her hips with a smile, “Yeah, I got this one out here with me for once.”

“Gotta get those steps in.” Emily threw in as convincingly as possible.

Y/n chuckled and turned her eyes to Tina, “This is Tina, my friend from New York. T, these are my neighbors JJ and Emily.” Tina extended her hand toward both women with a knowing smile.

“Nice to meet you both, I’ve heard wonderful things about you both.”

“Oh, wonderful things you say?” Emily replied.

“Oh yeah, she’s told me all about how satisfying DC has been for her.” Tina answered, emphasizing the word ‘satisfying’ with the same knowing smile.

JJ and Emily’s eye move to Y/n curiously and when the younger woman shrugged they chuckled. “She wanted to know who was handling my business here.”

“Just making sure she’s being taken care of.” Tina shrugged.

“Glad to be of service.” JJ offered, studying the women briefly. This was weirdly platonic and she wasn’t sure what she expected but it wasn’t to basically be praised for fucking someone’s ex. While Tina was objectively attractive and clearly comfortable with Y/n— they sure weren’t acting like reunited ex lovers.

“Y/n mentioned you both have high pressure jobs but didn’t mention what.”

“FBI. And you’re an actress?” JJ asked, fighting the challenging edge in her voice.

Tina either ignoring the edge or missing it completely answered, “Oh cool! And yes, I teach from time to time but right now I’m touring.”

“Oh that’s really nice.” Emily nodded, watching as Y/n’s eyes shifted between the three of them. As concerned and jealous as they had been over this whole thing— seeing Y/n’s eyes shift from her chest to lock on JJ’s exposed midriff really made her wonder what exactly they’d been worried about to begin with. It had been JJ’s idea to do the whole morning run bit but if this was anything to go by, Y/n was not thinking about Tina (In that way at least).

After some intentional attempts at focusing and a playful nudge from Tina, Y/n spoke up with a smile. “Well don’t let us keep you from your run. There’s a waffle somewhere with my name on it and I’m ready to eat. I’ll see y’all later.”All the women bid each other farewell and parted ways. Emily and JJ watched as Y/n and Tina climbed into the car and peeled away from the neighborhood. And as soon as they were out of sight, Emily turned to head back to their townhouse.

“Glad that’s over, for a moment I thought I’d actually have to play the part.”

“Okay, so we both know they’re not sleeping together, right? And we were just being weird and jealous for no reason.” Emily sighed as she closed their front door behind her.

“I wouldn’t say for no reason…” JJ tried but stopped at Emily’s rolled eyes. “Okay, maybe for no reason. But what else were we supposed to do at the prospect of her sleeping with someone else?”

“Nothing actually. Because we’re not in a relationship with her. It’s not as if we’ve set parameters for anything that we’re doing with her. And I don’t think us being weird is gonna help anything. Like come on, you didn’t even have to be a profiler to see they’re no longer fucking.”

“I know I know. It’s silly to feel possessive over someone we’re not exclusively attached to. But we both fell into it a little too easily. Maybe this is a sign that we should consider a more established situation with her, Em.”

“I mean I don’t know if you’ve realized but we’ve unconsciously become pretty exclusive for the last few weeks. And that wasn’t even on purpose. I think the only person who may not know that— maybe Y/n.”

“and maybe instead of being jealous weirdos we should at the very least show her we’re not sleeping with anyone else but her.”

“Yeah,” Emily sighed. “I hate when Garcia is right.”

“Ditto.” JJ rolled her eyes with a grumble. They sat in silence for a moment, mulling over the decision they’d just made. If they were this jealous over after only a few weeks it was obviously something worth discussing. After sometime they turned to face each other eagerly.

“I must say— it was nice seeing her struggle to look us in the eyes.” Emily grinned.

“Her eyes couldn’t figure out who they wanted to look at first. I told you the workout gear would work. With the way she was undressing us with her eyes right there in front of Tina? Very satisfying, very affirming for sure.”

“I do have to give you props for that one. It was worth the two seconds of leisurely exercising I did.”

#emily prentiss x reader #criminal minds #jennifer jareau x reader #criminal minds x reader #emily prentiss #jennifer jareau #jemily x reader #jemily #gnd series #msschemmenti

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fictionalmenmakemecry · 1 year ago

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One Michelin Star

Character: Carmy Berzatto x Reader

Summary: With 'The Bear' finally earning it's first Michelin star, Carmy can't think of any other person he would want to celebrate with, than you. Both of you riding on a high, you help Carmy reach another climax behind closed doors.

Warnings: Filth smut, gagging, cursing, blowjob

A/N Haven't seen much fics when it comes to our poor Carmy receiving pleasure so I thought I would have a whack at it. I want to kinda give this a part two where the reader gets off with Carmy .... but... I don't know yet. Let me know what you think :)

Enjoy!

After a grueling year of raising 'The Bear' from the ground, it happened. Carmy ripped open the letter front of house with Sydney by his side. Richie, Sugar and everyone else watching him with anticipation. Carmy eyes scanned over the first couple of sentences briefly before exhaling.

"We got it"

"Wait.. What?" Sydney grabbed the letter out of Carmy's hand.

He was still frozen in place like it hadn't hit him yet.

"Oh my god... We did" Sydney's jaw dropped as her eyes flashed over the first couple of sentences of the letter.

She immediately wraps her arms around Carmy bringing him into a hug forcefully.

"We did it Carm!" She yelled with Carmy finally coming out shock, he hugs her back.

"Holy fuckin' shit, let me see" Sydney handed the letter to Richie.

Everyone else huddled around Richie trying to see what was on the page. Tina leaning in closer not being able to see the small print on the page. Ebra looking over Richie shoulder.

"I can't believe it" Sugar gasped

Carmy looked over to see everyone with jumping around like little kids on Christmas day. Marcus put his hands on his green beanie in in disbelief. He could see Sugar's eyes whelm up with tears. Carmy's face stayed in a state of shock. He couldn't believe it actually happened. He never thought he would be able to actually get one.

In that moment, he knew who he had to call. The one person who was putting up with all his shit. The stress he had on his shoulders every night after coming from the restaurant. The distance he put between him and you, afraid that he would lash out on you if he didn't. He finally was able to breathe.

"Baby?" He spoke out with his phone against his ear.

"Hi Carm" You greeted walking home after a long day of work.

"Can you drop by?" He asked trying to control his excitement in his voice.

"Uhh.. sure. Is everything okay?" You asked with a worried tone.

It was rare for Carmy to ever ask you to come to the restaurant as he didn't like you to see him in that environment where he was usual stressed and didn't have anytime to give you his attention.

"Yea, yeah, don't worry" He reassured, continuing to look at everyone celebrating.

"I'll be there in 15" You said turning the direction that would eventually lead to the restaurant.

"See you then" He hummed before hanging up the phone.

He felt Sugar grasp his arm and looked over to see her grinning ear to ear.

"I'm so proud of you" Sugar came over giving him a hug.

"I couldn't have done it without you" He said softly giving her a tight squeeze,

"Did you call her?" She asked, pulling away from the hug.

Carmy nodded excitedly, he was buzzing to tell you. To see the look on your face.

"Dinner is on me tonight!" Richie exclaimed pulling out his phone

"What are we in the mood for?" Richie yelled over the loudly chatter and cheering.

Carmy decided to wait outside the restaurant for you. He wanted to tell you before you saw the massive celebration that was happening inside.

He saw you walking up the street with your usual backpack that you brought to work. Your smile immediately brightening up your face when you saw him in front of you. He walked down the street to meet you halfway and brought you into a hug.

"Oh" you gasped, surprised on how good of a mood he was in compared to the last two months of misery he was in.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, feeling him pick you up into a tighter grip with his built arms making it light work.

"You're in a good mood" You hummed, nuzzling into his neck.

"You know why?" He asked, putting you back down,

You looked into his eyes, and with a huge grin on his face, you knew instantly,

"Don't tell me you got it?" You searched his eyes not believing that it actually happened.

His head nodded subtly with his eyes sparkling with joy.

"Oh my god Carm..... Baby!" You jumped up in excitement, crushing into his chest and knocking him back a few steps with the force of you leaping into his arms.

"I knew you would get it!", you exclaimed tapping your hands onto his chest repeatedly.

He laughed, overloaded with pure happiness that he was able to tell you such good news.

You brought him into another tight hug savoring the euphoria that you were both feeling in your veins. You hugged him tight which he would always counter back with a tighter hug. it would go back and forth until you would eventually tap out due to him nearly squeezing you to death.

You leaned away and looked into his eyes wanting to make sure this was real. That it wasn't all a dream.

"We did it baby" He whispered his pure blue eyes flickering between yours.

"No... You did it. None of this would have happened without you" You said softly back.

Carmy could never take a compliment which always lead him to blush. He leaned into you smelling the little bit of perfume that clung onto your neck at the end of the day. Nothing could ruin this moment he was having with you. He dreamt about it over and over imagining what it would feel like but nothing matched to the real thing. He looked at you, seeing how beautiful you were when you smiled. You saw how genuinely happy you were for him. He couldn't believe he was lucky enough to have someone who would put up with all his bullshit.

"I love you so much." You continued to look in his eyes, making sure he knew you meant every word.

"I love you..... completely" He replied leaning his head down bringing you in for a kiss.

You brought your hands up to cup his face feeling his lips gently caress yours. His tongue touched your bottom lip asking for permission into your mouth. You open yours it giving him full access. You turned your head a little, wanting the kiss to deepen, all the while his hands having a firm grip on your waist.

You could feel him pull away which you resisted for a second not wanting to end the kiss and feel your lips get lonely.

"Let's get you inside" He whispers, your noses still touching.

You see his eyes haze over a little from the deep kiss you just shared. He grabbed your hand and you walked back to the restaurant with a tight hold on your hand.

You knew what that meant.

You knew he wanted you.

As you came through the door everyone was scattered around different tables in their groups talking.

"Cousin, what you want to eat?" Richie yelled over sitting at a table on the other side of the room with Tina and Ebra.

"Whatever"

"Hey sweetheart", Richie bringing his attention to you.

You gave a little wave but something else was on your mind. You squeezed your thighs together feeling the heat between them grow.

"Are you sure?" Richie double checked with Carmy looking down at his phone for options.

"Yeah, we're easy" Carmy yelled over, continuing to walk through the front area.

He lead you to the back, and looked back at you, making sure you were both on the same page. He knew the look in your eyes that you were.

As you walked through the doorway of the office, Carmy closed it behind you and locked it. You looked down to see the small desk lamp was lighting up the small room. You felt Carmy's hands on your waist and lifted you up onto the desk with ease.

With no time to waste, he enveloped your lips again with his. He brought his hands to your face, and you felt his hunger. Your lips opened up instantly, and his tongue slid in, brushing up against yours. You were able to taste him, which only fueled the heat between your legs. One of his hands dropped, and you felt him spread your legs so he could get in between them. You opened them wide, giving him ample room. He brought his hand down to your ass and pulled you towards him to the edge of the desk.

A moan escaped your mouth as you pressed your heated core to his hardened dick. You wrapped your arms around his neck, wanting him as close as possible with your hands tangling in his hair.

You both pulled a away for a brief moment, your eyes were blown out with lust.

"I- I don't want to wait" Carmy said softly.

"Me neither" You smirked knowing where this was going to lead.

You pushed him back and brought your eyes to the chair behind him.

"Sit" You ordered.

With no hesitation Carmy sat down on the office chair, still looking at you with heavy lids. You dropped down on your knees and unbuckled his belt with the clanking of the metal buckle the only noise in the room.

"You've been working so hard lately.." Your lips pouted out.

Your hands travelled up and down this thighs teasingly

"...I haven't tasted you in so long...." The tone in your voice dripping with arousal.

He nodded obediently not caring if the world was ending around both of you. All he wanted was to feel your mouth on his pulsing dick.

You pulled away his trouser, your eyes landed on his bulging underwear, where you could see a small wet mark of his arousal. You bit your lip anticipating the taste. He raised his hips as your pulled down his underwear and it shifted with the removing of clothes.

You wrapped your hand around the base and stroke him slowly, bringing your thumb over the head gently to bring some of the precum further down. You saw the adam's apple in his throat move as he tried to swallow a moan that was making it's way out.

His mouth was slightly open waiting for you to take him in. His eyes never leaving your face.

You focused on his irregular breathing and leaned down bringing your tongue to his head. You immediately tasted the saltiness travel along your tongue, making you hungry for more.

You swirled your tongue around his tip and looked up to meet his blown out pupils.

He watched you take him in, and when your eyes met, he closed his eyes briefly, focusing on not just letting go right then and there.

You worked your tongue more as you brought him in further and further into your mouth. As it went deeper, it finally reached the back of your throat, forcing a gag from you. Carmy released a low groan, losing control of keeping it in. The sound of your gag filled the silence in the room, only making it harder for Carmy to let go.

His fingers brush your hair to the back of your head. He didn't want to miss any sight of your pretty little face getting corrupted. You continued to look into his eyes, feeling tears whelm up in yours. You started bobbing your head up and down feeling the hollowness of your cheeks as the suction worked it way in your mouth. The sound of your saliva coating him and his breathing hitching every couple of seconds.

Every now and then you would bring him to the back of your throat, making him instinctively pull towards you and earning you a throaty moan from him.

"Uhh s-shittt-" He hissed

His hips would buckle making you swallow more of his length. You could feel your saliva travel its way down from his dick and pooling around the base. The mess you were making only made it harder for him to keep it under wraps.

"Baby...I'm not gonna last if you keep doing that" He said in a low voice trying to keep as quiet as possible.

Without leaving his eyes, you brought him to the back of your throat again but deeper.

At this point, he was unravelling above you, his moans were no longer silent and he would furrow his eyebrows trying to focus on holding it together with his mouth slightly open. One of his hands on the back of your head holding your hair in loose ponytail.

Tears rolled down your cheeks leaving eyeliner smudges behind. Him seeing you in such whoreish state made him that much closer to coming down your throat.

With a pop, you released his dick from your mouth. it glistening with your spit. He pulled his eyes down to your lips, which were red and puffy. This was one of his favorite states to see you in. Your hair tussled, eyes watery and makeup smudged, he couldn't contain himself. He wanted to bend you over that desk and make you beg for him to release in you. But he knew both of you had no chance in keeping quiet. He would want to hear your pleading moans and cries of his name.

"My pretty little whore..... always so hungry" He purred, gently brushing his thumb against your bottom lip.

"Please let me taste you" You pleaded, licking his length from base to tip.

"You want m'cum down your throat?" He asked, his darkened blue eyes looking down at you.

"Please" You wrapped your mouth around him again and watched as his eyes rolled back.

You knew he wasn't going to last. You wanted to feel his warm smooth climax down your throat. You needed to see him lose complete control above you.

You began to bob your head again, slowly building up the pace. His eyes focused on you again. His hips buckling more with you this round. He wasn't able to restrain himself anymore. You felt the grip that he had on your hair get tighter, which only made you more wet.

His breathing became more uneven and labored. You knew he was about to tip over the edge.

"B-baby" He stuttered, his hips starting to tense up with every thrust getting deeper.

Him working further and further to the back of your throat until you started to gag,

"Uhh, f-fuck...I'm cummin'" He inhaled.

"Imma cummin'" He sharply jolted his hips one last time before you felt a continuous stream of cum hit the back of your mouth.

His eyes closed with him riding a wave of pleasure, his jaw clenched, you could look at him like that forever.

You eagerly started swallowing and felt him slowly letting go of your hair and slumping back into the chair.

You licked the tip of his dick clean before popping it out of your mouth and wiping your lips on the back of your hand.

"Fuck, babe... You have no idea how much I needed that" He smiled lazily leaning down to kiss your lips.

You felt his tongue entered your mouth, your pussy pulsing at this point. All you wanted was his tongue, fingers or dick inside of you so you could clamp around something.

"Can we go home?" You asked eagerly, wiggling your hips trying to get any relief.

"Only if you sit on my face when we get there" Carmy smirked, his blue eyes still glazed over with a mixture of post orgasm and arousal.

You wanted to sit on his face right then and there but held yourself back knowing you were not going to stay quiet.

"Deal."

Masterlist to other fics

#fanfic #fluff #smut #fanfiction #love #carmy berzatto #carmy the bear #the bear #carmy x reader #chicago #carmen berzatto x you #syd x carmen #carmen berzatto #the bear fanfiction #the bear fic #the bear hulu #the bear fx #carmen x reader #carmen berzatto smut

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thebearer · 9 months ago

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hii I though it would be cool if you show what the atmosphere would be like when reader and Teddy visit the bear for the first time since the fight? Maybe for their family dinner? Also I totally love ur work, super cool

relief lol. genuinely relief.

like they knew carmen was getting better. he’s still so fucking private but he ducks out early every tuesdays and thursdays in the middle of prep and they all pretend they don’t know where he’s going, but they know he’s going to his therapist.

still there’s this kinda tense vibe even after you’ve went back home. carmen seems better, and it’s not out of the ordinary that you haven’t shown up bc teddy is so little, but they’re still a little like “oh shit what if she left him?”

until you show up unannounced at family with baby teddy. she’s bigger now, it’s less of a risk and you’ve missed seeing them. probably after you and carm have settled back to normal (post smut lol let’s be real) and you come to see everyone.

tina actually sighs of relief. like she is so fucking happy bc she nearly killed carmen. wouldn’t talk to him for weeks, weeks, it was like worse than when he started. a worse cold shoulder bc she heard a sliver of what he did (not even the whole thing).

I do think they all see a change with him. that they don’t have to walk on eggshells around him. he’s not blowing up as more anymore. tried to talk calmly and not lose his shit when things get out of control. talks more instead of bottling things up. actually lets other people do things. and follows through. both at the restaurant and at home.

definitely is more appreciative in general. not so mean and doom and gloom. i feel like he got called out by someone (richie or jimmy i can’t decide), “I don’t know why you’re so fuckin’ miserable all the time. what more do you want? you got a wife, a healthy baby, a successful business, and a family that’s- yeah, it’s kinda fucked up- but they love you.”

and that really floored him bc that is genuinely all he ever wanted. it was stuff he never thought he’d have and now he does and he’s still sad and moody and mean all the time?

he’s so touchy at family dinner. everyone’s coping over teddy, and so you actually get to eat a meal without juggling. carmen’s not overly pda (let’s be realistic, it’s carmen) but he kisses you when he greets you (HUGE lol) and keeps his hand on your thigh. looks at you with the most lovestruck gaze while you giggle and talk with the others. just complete adoration. he always has but it’s different now.

#thebearer #bearblahs #carmen berzatto #carmen berzatto x reader #the bear #carmy berzatto x reader #carmy berzatto #carmen berzatto fluff #dad!carmen berzatto #dad!carmen berzatto x mom!reader #dorothea “teddy” berzatto #tina the bear #richie jerimovich #uncle jimmy #jimmy cicero

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claraswritings · 6 months ago

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CARMY BERZATTO SFW ALPHABET

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

At first he kinda struggles with it because he’s not used to having a girlfriend. He’d be a bit of a lets just link arms or hand hold…. but after a few months he’s coming in and picking you up and kissing you once, twice, sometimes three times until Richie or Tina make some comment and then he’s embarrassed but will still give your hips a squeeze as he walks by you.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

I think he would be that friend that you check in with every couple of weeks and see maybe once or twice a year for dinner unless you lived locally but I think he’d be loyal and interested in what you were doing if anything because it would be escapism for him.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

YES. Carmy is always wrapping his arms around you and hugging you from behind and I think he’d be like the lean on hugger where you would both end up like semi-leaning on each other. When you’re sitting down I think he’d like to lie on your shoulder and have you play with his hair

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

I think he’s never really thought about it but as soon as he meets you it clicks that he wants you as his partner whatever that looks like. He’s obviously an excellent cook, he’s good at cleaning too as he knows a clean kitchens importance but he can be a litttle disorganised, like the way he has his books on a stack and not on a shelf. You fix that quick.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

I am gunna be so fr right now. I love him but he is not the best at expressing his emotions. He would ghost 💀. Or at least he’d like try phase down contact bit by bit until you wouldn’t know what the hell was going on. He’d say he was just busy and do anything to avoid THE TALK until you brought it up.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Like on D- once you’re together he knows he wants you and is committed to you and managing you as an important aspect of your life. I think he’d wait a little bit longer than average before asking you. He wants to lock it in but also is SO nervous because his parents marriage clearly didn’t last and what if you end up divorced like Richie and Tiffany? He wants everything to be perfect. But after a long hard talk with Nat, he knows he’s asking you…that evening.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Carmy would never want to lose it with you ever. He takes extra care not to snap at you or be impatient. Everyone in the Bear would be so surprised when he’s being usual Carmy and then you show up and he’s super sweet, they’re like what the hell when they see him being so gentle and nice with you

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

I think he’d be the kind to hug you from behind even when you’re walking 😭. Like he’d wrap his arms around you and walk with you. Carmy would also be a BIGGG hugger when you’re alone at home. He’d want to lie on your shoulder and be held and have you play with his hair. He’d want you to hug him when you’re in bed too.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Carmy would have it dawn on him one day that he loves you and he would WANT to tell you immediately but I think he’d hesitate and it would happen one of two ways. You’re getting hot and heavy and he just slips out with it OR he says something and stops and you just know so you help him out by saying it first

“Carm?”

“What?”

“I love you”

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Omg. Carmy gets so jealous. If a guy looks at you, he’s on the defensive with an arm around you and pulling you in to kiss you. He gets verrry handsy and if the person persists Carmy will absolutely tell them to fuck off

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

We’ve all seen that scene with C. He would take his time kissing you slowly at first, like touching your arms and hands as he does. Apart from on the mouth, I think he’d kiss your hands, and your neckline. He LOVES being kissed in his hair

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

He’s good around kids, better than he thinks. He’s the youngest out of his siblings so barring Eva he’s not been around kids a whole lot. I can imagine if he found out his partner was expecting and they hadn’t been actively trying he’d be a bit of a worrier but as soon as it’s sunk in, he’d be really determined to be as present and there for the kid as possible. Given his own upbringing it would encourage him to work on his issues so it didn’t impact the kid.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

He’s usually an early riser and even if you are too he still manages to be up before you. If you have to be up early too, he’ll make a breakfast for you both. If you don’t he’ll nudge you awake so he can kiss you goodbye

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

👀. Okay aside from the obvious... you’d go out for a food and then cuddle up on his sofa, you’d watch a cooking show and he’d walk you through the RIGHT way to make it. Or you’d go for a drive and take food with you to eat somewhere with a nice view. It would help him de stress I think

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

It would take a while because I think he’d do it gradually . You’d get a comment here or there about Mikey or Donna and you’d, obviously, be like shit, Do you want to talk about it and Carmy would just say ‘no. All good. I’m fine’ in such a way you’d almost believe him if he could meet your eyes. He’d one day just feel comfortable enough to talk fully

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

He’s used to a hectic environment and whilst he can sometimes be a little impatient in the kitchen, with you he’s so patient. He’ll take time with you and slow things down to give you breathing space because he does not want to lose it with you.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

I think Carmy remember the most random shit. Like if you mentioned to him one Tuesday morning that you liked to have everything in, say, blue, he’d remember that forever and make sure to get you anything in the blue version. He’s the type to double check and if you wanted a hot drink he’d recite your order back to you and then be like “and do you like the lemon or chocolate muffin? Usually you get lemon but you mentioned you wanted to try chocolate?” And yet he’d still he get you both.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

Probably on your anniversary when he closed the Bear early and set up a table just for the two of you. He’d made a menu just for the two of you and roped in the staff to play their part. Carmy made only ONE trip into the kitchen to check in which he was promptly escorted back to his seat.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

He would be SO protective. He doesn’t want anything to happen to you so I can imagine he’d be the “I’ll drive” and the “I’ll walk on the outside” kinda guy. As for how he’d like to be protected, he’d just want you to have his back.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Carmy would go out of his way to make sure it was special. If it’s your anniversary, surprise. He’d be super attentive and want to do all he could to show you he does care. The every day would be walking you to and from work every day. I think he’d do that even if the schedule was hectic

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

He can be a massive workaholic, he focuses a lot on the negatives: you’ll try point out to him to focus on the lovely chefs he’s worked with but he’ll be focusing on that one awful chef. It’ll frustrate him and you. I would say smoking but he looks hot doing it soooo 👀

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

We know Carmy obviously works out as I mean… those ARMS. I don’t think he’s a vain guy. I would say he’s self aware he’s a little shorter than average so would go out of his way to make sure he’s jacked to make up for it… I think he’d be concerned more about being neat and tidy for hygiene purposes.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

I think he’s been so used to being without a partner that when he gets you… it just feels like you were the missing part of him. If you were to all of a sudden leave, he’d feel like he’d lost a big part of him and he’d really struggle without your support

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

He draws you. Constantly. Like you could be sitting reading or playing a game or just… doing something and Carmy will want to draw you. I LOVEEEE the idea of Carmy drawing

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Anyone too clingy or who doesn’t understand when he needs to focus in the restaurant would get on his nerves. He’d want someone who doesn’t need to stick to him like glue. I can imagine he’d probably want someone a bit more relaxed than him too as otherwise the tension might get too much

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Carmy is used to crashing out on his couch a lot of the time so he only has one pillow on his bed. It’s clean but it is still just one pillow. You, of course, go straight out to the nearest place to get a whole set which he then doesn’t know how he ever lived without.

#carmen berzatto imagine #carmy berzatto x reader #carmy berzatto imagine #carmen berzatto x reader #the bear x reader #carmy x fem!reader #carmy x reader #carmen berzatto #carmy berzatto

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cjlouwho · 2 months ago

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Twelve Christmases

Chapter tags: Michael returns, implied homophobia

read below or on ao3

Day 8: 2017

Tommy hadn't stepped foot in his hometown in fifteen years.

And when he did return home, he hadn't planned on saying much.

He planned on sitting back and watching his father be a disaster with his new family.

A stepmother of eight years that he'd never met.

A stepsister and two stepbrothers he couldn't tell you the names of.

Step nieces and nephews and cousins. Tons of people for his dad to embarrass himself in front of on Christmas day.

What he didn't expect was for them to all be so damn happy.

His stepmom, Tina, laughing and giggling with Michael by her side.

His step siblings giving him a hug.

The kids all running to him, calling him grandpa.

Not a bottle of beer in sight.

It filled Tommy with a rage he hadn't felt in years.

And it caused him to blurt out the one thing he'd only just been able to admit to himself a few months earlier.

“I'm gay.”

The room fell silent, everyone gathered at the table for Christmas dinner. All eyes were on Tommy as he stared down his dad as though he were daring him to react.

The seconds ticking by felt like hours.

“Hm,” Michael finally breathed out. He picked his fork up, motioning around the table. “Come on now, let's eat, food's gettin' cold.”

The silence faded away with the sounds of utensils clanging on dishes, and whispered conversations picking up between guests.

Tommy continued to watch his dad, who was smiling over at Tina as they spoke to one another.

“Hey, congrats,” one of Tommy's stepbrothers (Sam, he thinks), leaned over and said to him.

“Are you congratulating me for being gay?” Tommy deadpanned.

“No, just for like, coming out or whatever. I know- or, well, I've heard- that it's like, ya know, tough and stuff.”

Tommy had to fight back every retort that was popping into his brain. “Yeah,” he agreed. “It's real tough and stuff.”

Then Sam (or is it Jim? Henry? Steve?) reached out and patted his shoulder. “Proud of you, Bro.”

Tommy wished his eyes were laser beams that he could use to shoot directly at the hand Sam-Jim-Henry-Steve touched him with.

Instead, he plastered on a smile. “Thanks.”

*****

They didn't get another chance to speak until everyone else had left. Tina went to get a shower and Tommy found himself in the living room with his dad.

“So?” he started, not bothering to sit. “What have you been holding in?”

Michael, who had been focused on the TV, muted it before turning to look over at Tommy. “What the hell were you thinking?”

“There it is.”

“You don't come around for fifteen damn years and when you finally do, you act like an ass all day long. We sit down for a nice dinner and you say something like that?” he shook his head. “I don't even know what to think of you.”

“I wasn't acting like an ass all day,” Tommy defended. “I've been so unbelievably confused by whatever game you've been playing! Who the hell even are you?”

“I don't know what you're talking about.”

“I have never, not once, seen you sober on Christmas. Hell, I never really saw you on Christmas at all. When I did, it was a nightmare! You certainly weren't picking me up and spinning me around like you did those kids today. It's all some weird ass show you're putting on.”

“Hey!” Michael stood, standing face to face with his son. “It is not a show. I love that woman and all the people that come with her!”

“So that's what this is? You just never loved mom? Or me?”

“Your mom was weak, Tommy! She didn't know what I needed.”

“No, that was the problem!” Tommy yelled, poking at Michael's chest, “She was only ever here for what you needed!”

Michael smacked Tommy's hand away. “We're not talking about this right now. We're gonna talk about that- that lie you told at dinner just to try and upset me.”

Tommy stood up straight, his heart pounding. “It's not a lie. I'm gay.”

“No, you're not.”

“I think I'd know a little better than you.”

“I will not...” Michael's voice trailed off as he breathed heavily through his nose. Tommy was pretty sure fire would be coming out if that were possible.

“What?” Tommy taunted. “You will not what?”

“I want you out of my house,” Michael said, teeth gritted together. “I don't need you around my family.”

Tommy huffed out a laugh. “Around your family? What am I then, Dad?”

“An embarrassment!” Michael screamed, no hesitation.

Tommy pursed his lips, nodding. “Now that's the dad I know,” he said, his voice wavering slightly. “I'll get my stuff, leave tonight.”

As he left the living room and headed down the hall, he stopped when he saw Tina standing in the doorway of the main bedroom. It was just like his mom used to do all those years ago.

“Tommy,” she said, her voice quiet, sad. “You don't have to go tonight. You can stay.”

Tommy shook his head. “No, I'm not gonna stay. Thank you though.”

He continued toward his childhood bedroom to grab his things. He'd never really unpacked anyway.

“I didn't know,” she said, stopping him again. He turned back to her. “I've never heard him like that before.”

He smiled at her sadly. “It's okay,” he assured her. “I have.”

#bucktommy #911 #911 abc #tommy kinard #twelve days of tommy #day 8

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toonice113 · 1 month ago

Text

Slut! ⋆ ★ N.Hischier (pt.1)

1. ┊ ˚➶ ｡˚ ☁ Peace

intro. begin again

Pairings: Nico Hischier x Popstar OC (Teddy Wells)

Genre: fluff, angst

Trope: popstar gf x athlete bf

Summary: After three months of dating Nico’s family is in town and he decides to introduce his new girlfriend to them, after a good weekend with the Hischiers Teddy questions if she is enough for Nico.

Warnings: not edited, nothing more i think?

Word count: 3.4k

⋆˚࿔ tina's note 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ Honestly it took me so long to write this and I kinda hate it lol but oh well. I really love making characters rant because I feel like I can just write without worrying too much about what I’m writing while also showing so much of what the character is thinking/ feeling and who they are so Teddy rants twice in this. Also Nico fighting last night was so hot omg I don’t know why he’s been so feisty lately but I won’t complain loool

Three months of quiet down time with your boyfriend can sometimes feel better than therapy, but don’t tell my therapist that, Nico and I just passed our three month anniversary and our time together has been nothing with bliss, we’d both decided to keep everything as private as possible since it was all so new and the media was still talking about my past breakup which meant a lot of nights in at either of our apartments, mostly Nico’s since it was easier for him especially when he had games or practice. Being as private as we were trying to be meant that I hadn’t been to one of his games yet, or met any of his friends who he had said had an inkling that their captain was seeing someone but Nico hadn’t really given them much information.

“It’s just not fair” I was on a call with Georgia, my manager when I opened the door for Nico who was carrying dinner for us to share before he left on a roadie for a couple of days “Can you just… I don’t know, just… It’s okay I gotta go I’ll talk to you later” I hung up with a sigh

“Bad news?” Nico asks pulling me in a hug and kissing my forehead as I melt into his arms

“Just another article and Magui posting a TikTok sending shade or something like that” I tell him, somehow even though I was the one who got cheated on I was the one who kept getting lots of hate since the breakup because apparently I’d broken Lando’s heart so bad that he was underperforming and it didn’t help that Magui kept making shady posts.

“Are you speaking out about it?” I had been talking to Georgia about the possibilities of doing a tell all where I told my truth but I wasn’t fully ready to speak out, I shake my head no and he squeezes me a little harder “I got us subs from that bistro you like”

“Thank god, I’m starving” I say letting go and walking to the table where he dropped the bags off.

“So…” He speaks as we are eating after catching up on what we did that day “My family is coming over on Friday, they are here until Monday”

I nod planning in my head what I can do to pass off time this weekend “Okay, let me know when you are free I’ll probably write or go into the studio those days”

He stops eating and looks at me “Um I actually was wondering if you would be open to meeting them” my eyes widen, not expecting him to want me to meet his family “I mean only if you are comfortable with it”

“Uh, I wouldn't want to intrude. I know you don’t get to see them a lot during the season so…” That and also I’m terrified of meeting his family

“You wouldn’t be intruding I… uh I kinda maybe told my mom about you” I choke on the water I was sipping on “And she told dad and then Nina told Luca too and they are all really excited to meet you”

“I… um… I mean I would love to meet them but uh only if you’re sure” I stutter a little unsure of my answer but when I see his smile widen and his dimples deepen I feel a bit better about the prospect of meeting his family

“I’m sure bärli” He says

Nico leaves for his roadie the next day after telling me that we can have lunch with his family at his apartment on Saturday, it’s friday night and I’m pacing in my apartment with a glass of wine in hand “Like what if they see me and think I’m not pretty enough for him? And then I speak and they hate my voice? And what if they don’t like what I bring? God is that even enough? Do you think I should’ve bought more? Oh what if they are allergic and then they think I’m trying to kill them?” Alyssa bursts out laughing at that, she’s been sipping on her wine while lying on my couch watching me panic “Hello? I’m having a crisis over here and you are laughing?” I scoff

“Well yeah cause you are being stupid” She says and I glare at her taking a sip of my wine “First of all, Nina is one of my best friends so trust me when I say they are like super nice people but if that’s not enough for you to trust me then look at Nico, he’s one of the nicest guys ever and that has to come from somewhere”

“Yeah well Cisca and Adam were great people and look at their son” I say and she raises her eyebrows “What? I’m just saying some people are not exactly a reflection of their parents, also you were Nina’s friend not their youngest son’s girlfriend”

“True but I’ve known the Hischiers for over fifteen years and not once have I not enjoyed my time with them, well maybe once but it was when Nina, Carla and I were trying to sneak back into the house while being totally drunk and your dumbass boyfriend told on us, Katja was scary as she scolded us” I look at her with a ‘not helping’ look “She wasn’t even mad about us going out to a party, she was mad at us sneaking out because we could’ve ended hurt”

“Did you ever see them with Nico’s other girlfriends?” I ask finally sitting down although I’m on the edge of the sofa ready to spring up and start pacing at any moment

“One, Nico doesn’t date unless he’s serious I told you this” she did, a while back after our third date when I panicked as I got back home because a third date was something serious and I was scared of getting my already broken heart shattered even more “Before you there was only one girl he cared enough for to bring her around family and even then they had known each other since they were kids so their families already knew each other”

I groan “Great so their expectations are high” Alyssa looks at me like she wants to smack me in the face “Fuck” I curse pulling my phone out “Do you know if they are allergic to any flowers?”

Alyssa who is already looking at me like I’m a crazy person shakes her head “You do not need flowers, you’re already bringing two dozens of cookies, a dozen muffins, a bottle of wine, fruit, and” the sound of a timer interrupts her making me jump up from my seat “The pie, hey are you sure you need to take the pie? I don’t know if you can carry all that so maybe you should leave it behind and just so it doesn’t go bad I can take it home with me”

“I made you one but if you keep judging me for being scared of meeting my boyfriend’s family then maybe I’ll give it to Mrs.Gibbons instead” I tell her from the kitchen and feel her walk in behind me and pull me into a hug once both pies are out of the oven

“No need” She grins and I roll my eyes “And you have nothing to worry about they are all going to love you, Nina has been texting me gushing about you since after your guys’ first date” hearing that his sister’s opinion on me is at least a good one I feel my nerves dissipate a little “So what are you wearing?” and just like that they are back.

Nico offered to come into the city to pick me up but I denied saying it was silly for him to drive from his apartment and pick me up so we could go back to his apartment, so I took an uber there, and now I’m standing on the elevator with a racing heart knowing I would be picking at my nails if I wasn't carrying a tote bag full of baked goods, cut up fruit and wine on one hand and two bouquets of pink peonies on the other one, I take a look at my outfit in the mirrored walls of the elevator and wonder if I should’ve worn the jeans instead of the skirt I picked out and maybe the black jacket instead of the brown coat. I don’t have much more time to dwell on my outfit choice because the metal box opens up on Nico’s floor soon after, taking deep breaths I knock on his door and hear a few voices from inside before the door opens showing me my boyfriend sporting his usual dimples and wide smile “Ah bärli you’ve made it” he pulls me in with a hug almost squishing the flowers and I say a hi although it probably came out as a whisper “Come on everyone’s in the kitchen let me help you with this” he takes the bag in one hand and then my now free hand squeezing it lightly in reassurance walking us to where I can hear his family laughing “Guys this is Teddy”

“Oh it’s so nice to meet you” His mom quickly walks towards me and pulls me into a hug, I hug her back as best as I can without squishing the flowers I’m still holding in my hand

“It’s nice to meet you too, I got these for you” I hand her a bouquet and she takes it with a smile cooing at the flowers and thanking me “And these are for you” I hand the other to Nico’s sister as she approaches me next to say hi

“Peonies! I love these thank you” She also gives me a hug “It’s nice to meet you, both Nico and Alyssa talk about you a lot” she laughs when Nico jokingly shoves her

“Yes, Alyssa talks great things about you” Nico’s dad comes over to introduce himself and I shake his hand with a smile, nerves slowly going away as his family welcomes me in warmly

I greet his brother with a hug as well before Katja, who insisted I called her by her name after I offered to help her with lunch, gets back to stirring the food and we start talking, they ask a little about me and conversation flows easily, while we eat Katja tells stories about Nico when he was young and Rino adds some input while Nina and Luca share the embarrassing part of the stories, instead of complaining Nico laughs at them and adds to it. When dinner is over I volunteer to do the dishes and with a bit of a fight I end up with Nina and Luca in the kitchen as Nico and his parents unpack the sweet treats I brought over in the living room, I interrogate Nina about Alyssa and we both tease Luca when she tells me about the crush he had on our friend when they were younger. By the end of the night I don’t want to leave but it’s getting late and I have a meeting in the morning so after a few rounds of Mario Kart where Luca and I team up against Nina and Nico, and absolutely demolish them, I say goodbye to the family promising to see them again soon. “Well I think that went okay” I tell Nico as we stand outside of his apartment

He chuckles and pulls me into a hug “That went amazing actually just as I expected, they love you” I smile against his chest and then reach to pull him into a kiss “I’m not forgetting that green shell by the way” he says as we separate and I laugh.

The meeting that morning lefts me deflated, it was about what I want to do about all the rumours and the whole two hours were filled with the reading of different articles, some that I had never even seen before, one in particular gets stuck in my head and no matter what I do throughout the next few hours the title of it is stuck in my brain ‘Teddy Wells’ the nightmare in-law’. There’s a few reasons why the article bothers me so much, first because of the in-law part, because of all those late night conversations with Lando about a wedding and our future as well as all the jokes his family would make about me becoming part of the family officially, making me feel welcome but now this article bringing doubt about whether it was a laughing with her or laughing at her situation, then there was the nightmare part because I had never been anything but nice to his family, I had been there for multiple of Flo’s competitions, and I had been there for Oliver’s wedding, birthday parties, holidays with the family and never once had I felt like my presence was not wanted. “You need to stop this” Alyssa speaks out pulling me out of my thoughts “All this overthinking from an article written by people who don’t know you”

“They had an inside source” I say as I scan over the text on my screen again “What if the inside source is oh I don't know, someone in the family?”

“Who cares? You are not with him anymore and you don’t have to see his family anymore so even if they did hate you, which I’m sure they didn’t by the way, then it doesn’t matter anymore” Alyssa says but it doesn’t stop me from reading the article once more before googling about it and seeing a few more recent articles being written about it as well as some old ones

“Look, this has been going on for a while! Oh my god was I really that blind? Look at this picture she looks so uncomfortable” I turn my laptop to show her a picture of me and Lando’s sister in law with their second baby when she was first born

“She looks like a mom who just had a baby and needs rest” Alyssa replies “Why are you obsessing over this?”

“‘m not” I mumble as I keep reading some of the older articles

“You are, and you don’t usually care that much about what people write about you, especially older articles so why are you paying so much attention to this right now?” Alyssa frowns sitting next to me in the couch pulling my laptop from my lap and closing it before I can protest

“Because” I sigh “Because what if Nico’s family sees that and then they realize I’m not actually a good person? And what if Nico reads it and realizes he deserves someone better? I mean they were so great and from the stories they told me and how you speak about them I just I don’t know if I can ever be enough and Nico is like the best guy ever he’s so nice and just overall great unlike any guy I’ve ever dated before and he’s just so positive and empathetic and generous and affectionate and attentive person last week he was away on a roadie and while we were on a call I mentioned wanting some froyo but not wanting to go out and get it and he ordered it for me then I also mentioned something about my charger only working when I placed it a certain way and he came by the next day with a new charger and one of those things you put on the edges of it so it doesn’t break” by now i’m crying while I rant to Alyssa “And I just don’t know If I will ever be as good as him and he deserves everything but what if I can’t give him that? This is proof that I can’t give him that actually” I motion to the mess I am right now “I can barely make sense and I’m so angry and sad and this is just not okay”

“Okay I agree that Nico is a great guy but he is not a saint and he is not perfect, he has bad days too, we all do” She pulls me into a hug “And I know no matter how much I reassure you it won’t mean the same if it’s not coming from him, I really think you should tell him how you’re feeling about all of this”

“We haven’t even been together for that long, I don’t want him to think I’m crazy” I say sniffling

“Yeah but if you don’t talk to him about it you will drive yourself crazy”

It’s a few weeks later and Nico and I are in my bed, laying in a comfortable silence, he’s drawing shapes on my bare back as I lay on his chest, my brain racking with the hundreds of articles that have been coming out saying horrible things about me in the past few weeks that haunt me every time I have the time to think about it but then Alyssa’s words pop into my head and I with a sigh I push myself up propping my chin on my hands that are still on his chest to face Nico who looks down at me with those twinkling brown eyes and deep dimples “Hi” he says smiling as if we haven’t been together for hours at this point

“Hi” I say anyways smiling at him “I- um I have been meaning to talk to you about this for a bit but I didn’t know how”

“Oh god, is it my hands? I swear I wash them, it's just the gloves you know?” He blurts out quickly easing my nerves a little as I laugh at him

“It’s not your hands, you know I like your hands” he says a quick thank god that makes me chuckle again as I sit up more reaching for his shirt that’s laying next to him putting it on “It’s about the articles” he nods prompting me to continue “A couple of weeks ago there were a few articles about my ex’s family not liking me or something like that and it kinda made me go down a rabbit hole of other articles that were um… not so nice” I chuckle nervously playing with my fingers “And it got me thinking that um… I really really like you like a lot but I don’t know if I can ever give you what you deserve, those articles will coming out and sometimes I can’t help but think that they have some truth to them, sometimes I feel like I’m not actually a good person and you live such a hectic life already that when you come home I can imagine all you want is some peace, some down quiet time like this but my life is pretty hectic as well and right now I have a lot of down time because there’s not much going on but i will have to get out and live in the real world once more at some point soon and… uh well I guess what I’m getting at is that I don’t know if I can ever give you the peace you deserve”

I finish my rant still looking at my hands, not being able to look at him, not ready to see his face as he realizes I’m not really what he wants but freeze when I feel one of his hands on mine while the other pulls my head up to look at him “Bärli” I’m fighting the tears that are threatening to spill “All I want is you, all of you, I want the quiet nights, the loud karaoke sessions, the crying over movies that aren’t even that sad, the videos of you celebrating my goals that hopefully will turn into you actually celebrating at the arena someday, the waking up in the middle of the night scared that there are creepy ghosts to find you playing a melody on the piano because you got a random idea in a dream, I want all of that and more because I love you and as long as you are there I am in peace, you are my peace”

“I was trying really hard not to cry” I wipe my tears off my face “I love you too” we kiss and I feel like maybe just maybe everything will be okay “I’m sorry for making you think there’s ghosts I promise to try to stop playing the piano at 3am”

“Any other time is acceptable but 3am is the hour of the ghosts” he says and I laugh climbing on top of him kissing him again.

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