#timeline bends to my will for whatever is funniest

[badlydrawn-brostrider]

looking good mr. strider! :D

-@aviansaffection

[ You're a little too shocked at apparently being GOD TIER???? to really process the compliment. Anon powers are scary. ]

[microwaving-tesilid-argente]

i think i've talked before about how amazingly normal (and respectful) tesilid is towards Ailette for an OI male lead (ie. despite being utterly obsessed with her for aeons, he would never cross a line with her and would ask for consent), but i think we also need to give Reed credit for being pretty normal and respectful too. with regards to Ailette's consent, anyway. for all that he's a homicidal crazy guy trying to destroy the world.

he asks ailette to join him in the abyss and when she says no he's like aw okay, see you next time then <3 he offers ailette a chair and when she says no he doesn't force her. (tesilid doesn't get rights though). ailette goes i already said no i dont want to join you and he's like wait i can change your mind, and when he runs out of time he goes aww okay, i hope you change your mind next time though, ciao <3

like if it were any other OI ailette would be fighting off a confinement arc right now, but reed is just 😭 he just wants to chill with her.

[thirstyforred]

ok so, it's not like a fully fleshed idea, there's no ending, and the amount of words i would like to put into it is just too much atm, bc like at least over 10k sounds sweet, but anyway here's an idea for one of the squares in my witcher bingo - mind-reading spell/curse

it's the role swap au - i could just do "that's so sad, Hubert play Gwent/tavern music", but i think there's actually something to this idea that could be interesting with how some parts of the canon are being twisted and fit back together

Alvin is a vampire, lets just go with katakan, because why not

i might lean a bit into Book of Beautiful Horrors fanon (which i just realized inspired my other post about higher vamps, but for some reason, i completely forgot about it, until last week when i was looking again for this book) and say that katakans are great hunters, capable of tracking they prey just by the smell, but also having more special connection to the blood. like drinking of certain beings gives them certain effects - like how Gael even canonically drinks from drunk folks so he can actually get completely sloshed

but also if i combine it with how Erland never specified what actually are vampires eating since blood makes them just tipsy and isn't the main source of nutrients, let's say that vampires are lowkey like dragons - that they are actually consuming magic. so they would live nearby sources of power or like power nexuses, or like the Unseen Elder in B&W not far from the place where Ard Gaeth opened, which likely would still be pretty charged

which leads me to another point, if they're consuming magic, then possibly can they also use magic - and there are the different way this could be spun, for example, if let's say alp drinks bruxa's blood, then they can talk with birds for few nights, or like combine their own powers with the one they get from blood, and like give birds ability to dream, and then invade those dreams and shape them, like idk there could be some fun combinations here

so considering all of this stuff - Alvin is a katakan who drinks from sorcerers and that makes him so op

and he's at a point where it's not just about feeding himself in the most pleasurable way, by eating beings charged with magic, or just about blood addiction, no, it's about power

and because it's me writing about Alvin, whether i make a big point out of it or not, there's always a shadow behind him of that goth mfs red riders who influenced the way he understands the world - Nam and Nithral - so without deep explanations lets just say, that Alvin is a relatively young vampire, who was basically raised up by Aen Elle Wild Hunt deserter Namrevlis, like seriously who cares, it was always crack and canon bending bs

but the thing is, Nam and her blood smell and taste pretty uniquely like it's not a tone, but still, there's that drop of Hen Ichaer, of Lara's Gene in Red Riders, and i will take this fanon with me to the grave, and that, that taste of the Spiral is what Alvin is really looking for

which he ofc can't find because regular mages while still powerful, their blood making him almost a mage himself, is just nothing in comparison

and there's Hubert - he's a surgeon in Novigrad, just regular boring human, let's fuck with the timeline say in his 20s, but he's also the Source. He's the carrier of Lara's Gene. He doesn't want this sort of legacy, wears tones of dimeritium amulets and whatnot to tame his wild, never trained magic talents, but still, he's plagued by horrifying dreams of the White Frost

i guess would make sense if that sort of thing was more manageable when he was a kid and teen, but got worse with time, and also there are Witch Hunters all over Novigrad, so Hubert has to find some way or maybe mentor, do something about it

so he asks some people he trusts about ideas, like Gael and Queen of the Night, and finally, Queen is like yeah i know of someone, they help hiding mages in Wizima, but also they're very dangerous, and Hubert is like who is it? i need to know! and she's like it's the leader of Salamandra

yes im keeping Alvin being a drug lord, i find it the funniest part of his whole fucking deal

but anyway Hubert travels to Wizima and somehow get's introduced to Alvin, and he just gets a whiff of Hubert and he starts salivating

but Alvin is not an idiot, he knows if he will eat a guy in one sitting it won't sate him for long, and help him really peer through that veil between the world or whatever - he's a fantasy medieval business major, he's gonna put a nice collar on that neck

(i still remember it was supposed to be about mindreading, the idea was just more cohesive and compressed in my mind lol)

but Hubert explains his whole deal and problem, and Alvin is like oh ok cool, then we can have here like a mutual agreement - because he was somewhat educated on the Spiral by Nam, he gets and understands the things Hubert is seeing in his visions, he just can't hold them for too long - while for Hubert everything is just chaotic and a bit scary, and makes him feel lost

but thankfully all higher vamps (but true ones lol) have telepathic abilities, which means that Alvin can just look into Hubert's mind, amplify it by drinking his blood, if they meditated together, created like a mental bond between their minds, they could literally unravel the Spiral together

like all the crazy stuff i have ever written about the Spiral but more

oh and there's like some gay stuff happening ofc

[that-was-anticlimactic]

oKAY BUT AVATAR FROZEN AU (ft. Zukka)

I was listening to Frozen on Broadway in the shower and it literally won’t leave my head y’ALL (sorry this is long, but I didn’t know how to do the read more thing because I suck so if anyone knows how, please lemme know!)

Katara: Elsa

Sokka: Anna

Zuko: Kristoff

Aang: Olaf

Azula: Hans

Druk: Sven

The Trolls Are: Iroh, Toph, Suki and Kyoshi Warriors, Mai, Ty Lee, Jet and the Freedom Fighters, maybe Yue idk yet

(Cabbage Man is Oaken)

Okay, so I know Sokka is the older sibling and Katara has Anna’s trust, but Katara is the last Waterbender in the SWT so

idk I’m still working it out since as soon as I got out of the shower I started typing this, but I think Katara and Sokka were a family ya know with Hakoda and Kya and Katara had her bending but the Fire Nation was still like iffy so they didn’t publicize it

Sokka thought it was SO COOL and always wanted to play with her powers ya know? They probably created Aang together, not sure about that yet anyways

Katara hits Sokka with her powers (ice maybe?) on accident and he’s dying, they go to “the trolls” but what imma call White Lotus and Yue is there or she was but had to give herself to the moon, but the moon spirit saves Sokka, has white strip in his hair like Anna, they wipe his memories of Katara’s bending

Katara is sad and scared and terrified so she shuts herself in her room and will not go penguin sledding or fishing or anything with Sokka and now Sokka is sad

Hakoda and Kya are eventually like Katara needs to learn how to control it or just rid of her powers, let’s go to the NWT and see if there is a good chi blocker or a master for Katara to learn from

they die on the ship, probably Fire Nation

(also, the war is still technically going on but also not? Not as intensely as it was in the show, but like, it’s there)

I’m not sure what to do about the chief stuff, so we’ll ignore that for now

It is Sokka or Katara’s coronation, Sokka is excited because he can leave their palace and Katara is not excited because she still doesn’t know how to bend or control it

Sokka runs into Azula and now let’s talk about the Fire Nation for a second

Ozai is still ruling, Ursa is gone, Zuko was banished and Iroh went with him

Ozai did burn Zuko’s face, probably for the same reason, so Iroh took Zuko and they went to the Earth Kingdom and met up with other people who had been hurt by the Fire Nation and they became a family and Zuko eventually leaves and finds an egg and it’s Druk! They become besties but Zuko leaves kind of for the same reasons as in Zuko Alone

Ozai is pretty pissed at the Water Tribes because they’re thriving or something and wants to rule them so he’s like “Azula, go hit on one of the siblings and make them love you and then marry them and I can- I mean, you can control the SWT and NWT”

and she’s like “dope I shall bring destruction onto their land eventually” because poor girl is getting manipulated:(

So, Azula and Sokka run into each other, Azula is a terrible flirt but so is Sokka and they bond over how terrible they both are at human interaction and Sokka is like “yeah after I turned ten, they never let me leave the castle so I have zero friends”

and Azula is mentally like wait I have no friends too:(... but is like “yeah I feel, I’m only the Fire Nation Princess, but it’s a boys only club, ya know? So no one takes me seriously”

and Sokka is like “you... I like you...” and definitely starts crushing and asks her to do an activity and yada yada yada

someone gets crowned, idk who yet

Azula and Sokka spend more time together and Azula is like “wow he is so starved for affection that if I asked him to marry me he’d probably say yes Father what kind of mission is this this is so easy”

so she tries it out and he’s like “SURE” and they tell Katara and she’s just not having it

“Sokka! The Fire Nation killed our parents!”

��Yeah, five years ago--” (or more, idk timeline yet) “--besides, this would be good treaty-wise and politically, ya know?” (so I guess this means Katara would become chief? Idk how that happens but we’ll figure it out)

and Katara is just “... SOKKA you just met this girl. Also, she’s Fire Nation!”

and he’s like “well you aren’t in charge on me so imma do whatever I want”

and Katara is like ahhhhh and he ends up pulling a glove off and she waterbends and everyone is like hbfvrvunyuibtuy wHAT

and Azula is like “ooh so there really is still a waterbender left in the SWT...”

Katara runs away and accidentally freezes everywhere she goes (for purposes of plot convenience, she goes to the Earth Kingdom without knowing it and freezes that too I guess? She’s pretty powerful, y’all

and Sokka is like “I gotta go after her!”

and Azula is mentally lie death mission, that gets him out of the way “sURE! I’ll stay here:)”

so Sokka goes and runs into Zuko and Druk

“Dragons are better than people, Druk, don’t you think that’s right?”

and he sees Sokka struggling to paddle a boat or something, again, don’t have land and stuff figured out here yet

Sokka basically annoys him into helping him

(and Zuko won’t admit it, but he kinda liked Sokka’s vibe and was like I haven’t spoken to a human person in years is it selfish to want this? He’s not disgusted at my scar...”)

Zuko does not tell Sokka that he is a fire bender, he mentions he used to live in the Fire Nation, though

Katara makes maybe not an elaborate ice castle, but she is like “LET IT GOOOOOOO” when she finds open land and just makes it so pretty and guys imagine Katara in an Inuit-style Elsa dress? Wouldn’t that be the most gorgeous thing??

Maybe she misses home so she remakes her village out of ice, maybe if she’s lonely (because Katara really hates being alone but she’ll do it for the good of her people) she’ll make ice sculptures of people from the village like her mom and dad and Sokka

also ya know what? No, I don’t want Katara to be completely alone. She finds Momo trying to hide from the cold and takes him in so it is Katara and Momo

Sokka and Zuko are riding Druk, but he’s tired so they aren’t super high, and Sokka is explaining what happened to Zuko and Zuko starts laughing because “you planned on marrying someone you just met? From the Fire Nation?”

“You’re from the Fire Nation!”

“yeah, it sucks. Why do you think I left? But seriously? That’s the funniest thing I’ve heard in three years!” (because I just decided it has been three years of him alone)

and Sokka doesn’t mention that it’s Azula yet because Zuko was already laughing at him but wait Zuko has a really cute and precious laugh--

they talk a bit and Sokka kind of mentions the strip in his hair and how it happened because he got pneumonia as a child and almost died but the moon spirit saved his lifeand Zuko doesn’t know how the frick to respond so he just “... that’s rough, buddy”

Actually, imma take back something I said earlier, they don’t make Aang, her unleashing her powers shakes the earth or water or something and the iceberg pops up and Zuko and Sokka find it and Sokka is like “Imma touch it”

and Zuko goes “wait no don’t touch i-- you touched it” and Aang pops out and is like “HELLO!”

and they’re like who the frick are you?

and Aang is like “I’m the Avatar, Aang”

and Zuko and Sokka just :0

or maybe Katara and Sokka like created him as a kid or like believed he would come back to save them and that kind of like manifested into what happened? Idk but somehow, and maybe more plot convenience, he knows who Katara is, maybe the monks told him she’d be his waterbending master before he got trapped?

“Katara? you’re looking for her? I’m looking for her too! She’s the most powerful waterbender in the world and I need to learn how to waterbend!”

“Woah cool! You should join us!” says Sokka

and Zuko facepalms because “sOKKA again with the people you just met!”

and Sokka is like “I just met you”

“Fair point”

“besides, you guys are some of the first people I’ve talked to in like 5-8 years!”

and Zuko and Aang get kind of quiet because wow now that Sokka mentions in, that’s super true for him, but also true for the both of them... they’re all lonely

so Aang is like “okay let’s find Katara!” and they talk and stuff on the way and Aang mentions being excited to visit the Fire Nation and see Kuzon and all of his airbender friends and Zuko and Sokka just ??? then it hits them that oh boy he’s been in that iceberg for a long time--

so Zuko tells him and Aang is big sad and goes into the Avatar State or something and idk imma come back to this

plus also more friendship bonding happens and more feelings between Zuko and Sokka happen

they eventually reach Katara and they’re all like wow this is gorgeous

and Aang is about to walk in and stuff and Zuko stops him “maybe Sokka should go first? Since she’s his sister?”

Sokka goes into the village, finds the one that looks like their house / hut / palace, sees Katara and they both start crying and hug each other and Katara goes “I’ve missed you so much”

and Sokka is like “why did you leave? Please come back, I’ll help protect you from the Fire Nation! No one will get to you!”

and Katara is like “that’s not what I’m worried about” and her eyes flicker to the white strand in Sokka’s hair. “I don’t know how to control it and I don’t have a teacher and I’m dangerous.”

“I have some friends who can help you find a teacher! Aang and Zuko!”

Aang hears his name so he runs out and is like “Hi, I’m Aang, the avatar, want a hug? You look sad”

and Katara is like this boy is a sweetie and must be protected at all costs so no hug from em because I hurt those I love:(

and then Aang says “The monks told me about you! It was like a hundred years ago, but they told me Katara would be my waterbending teacher! You’re the most powerful waterbender in the world!”

and she laughs and almost believes him but “No, no I can’t control it. What if I hurt people?”

And Aang is like “we can learn together then!”

and Sokka and Katara talk more, Sokka is like “please come back, we’ll protect you from the Fire Nation and help you find a teacher I need you I miss you” and Katara wants to so badly

but she says no

they talk and Sokka mentions that basically everywhere is frozen and Katara is just ???? and Sokka is like “please, you can unfreeze it and people will see you aren’t a threat!”

and Katara flips out, they argue a bit, she hits him in the heart on accident and screams so Zuko and Aang (who left) run out and see Sokka on the ground and Katara hyperventilating and Zuko helps Sokka up and kind of has to hold him up for a couple minutes and he begs Katara to come with them because she’s his baby sister and he’ll protect her and she’s crying and her hand instinctively touches her mother’s necklace and she tells him no and that if they won’t leave, she’ll make them leave and then Aang and Zuko start begging her too because Zuko just met her but he knows that she’ll play a huge role in stopping the war and that she is incredibly powerful (and also she’s so kind when she isn’t accidentally being dangerous, he thinks-- based off of the stories Sokka had told him and the look on her face after she struck Sokka

Sokka says no and Aang and Zuko stand firm beside him so Katara makes a giant sky bison named Appa or something who chases them out of the village and they all end up falling into the freaking cold water and Sokka helps pull Aang and Zuko out since he’s the best swimmer and we love Zuko but he’s kind of a terrible swimmer

and Zuko goes “thank yo-- what’s with your hair?”

“My hair? We just gout out of the ocean, you should see your hair”

And Aang pipes up with “no, your hair is white”

“Wait it’s what? Does it look bad?”

“... no?” - Zuko

Sokka goes “you hesitated you think it’s baddddd”

and Zuko says “no, no, not like that... it’s because your sister struck you, isn’t it?”

and Sokka thinks and realization kind of dawns on him “I never had pneumonia...” and it hits him and he groans “that’s why she stopped playing with me! We need to go back, I need to talk to her--”

and he falls as he tries to get up

Aang and Zuko share a look and are like “yeah, no, you need help or you’ll actually die again”

Zuko suddenly is like “wait? the moon spirit saved you that one time, right? maybe She can do it again! Come on! I have some friends who can help you!”

while all of that is happening, Azula is planning on assassinating Katara and the people of the SWT and visitors from the rest of the world are freezing so she’s like “I guess I’ll go stop her since she must have killed my fiance”

some others go with her and they find where Katara is hiding out and Azula kills Appa:( and faces Katara with her people

Katara easily get the others out of the way and then it’s her and Azula

“I don’t want to hurt you!” Katara says

Azula puts her hands down and says “I don’t want to either. Just come with us, fox the weather, and we can help you”

“Why should I trust you? Your nation has wanted to kill me for years!”

“mmm fair point”

they fight a bit, Katara ends up getting knocked out and they take her back and lock her up

going back to the trio and Druk, they’re going to the little corner of the Earth Kingdom where the White Lotus is and Sokka’s hair is getting progressively more white and he’s getting more cold and Zuko is starting to panic so he says “I’m going to show you something, but you have to promise not to freak out”

so Sokka nods and Aang is chill with it because he doesn’t hate firebenders like the rest of the world

so Zuko creates a fire and holds it close to Sokka who does indeed freak out and crawls to the other side of the dragon

and Aang is like “wow! That’s so pretty! Can you teach me that? I need a firebending teach too! It was going ti be Kuzon but...”

and Zuko goes to Sokka again and says “I didn’t want you to hate me. I’m not evil or anything like Ozai. You’re freezing, please, let me help you warm up.”

and Sokka is silent then says “I trust you” and Zuko kind of pulls him in and wraps his arms around Sokka to warm him up and Aang looks left out so Sokka tells him to join

and all three are like “wow. This is the most human contact I’ve had in years... it’s nice”

somewhere here I think would be a good time for Sokka to ask about Zuko’s scar and so Zuko tells the story and Sokka and Aang are pissed and ready to kill but before Sokka and piece together that Azula is his sister, they arrive

Zuko is like “hello, Zuko here! But you guys probably knew that, or at least Toph will-- oof!” because Toph runs at him and gives him a super hard hug and suddenly the White Lotus is surrounding him and are like “how are you?” “where’ve you been?” “we missed you!” etc, etc

and Zuko is like “haha I missed you guys too but um, I’m actually here for something else... he helps Aang and Sokka off of Druk and Toph immediately feels the change in their heart rates when Zuko helps Sokka and Sokka leans against Zuko so she goes “you got a boyfriend!”

cue matching looks of horror on the two’s faces and suddenly everyone is interrogating both of them and Zuko is like y’all!!! He needs help! Where’s Iroh?

he is ignored:/

“Zuko looks grumpy and he acts grumpy but really he’s a sweetheart and mushy!” says Ty Lee

“make sure you give him lots of hugs and attention because he will not tell you when he wants it” Suki says

and Zuko’s whole face is red and it’s the funniest thing Sokka has seen and he’s so invested in all of these people and their stories and wants to stay forever but then remembers Katara and Zuko finally is like “IROH!”

Iroh comes and sees Sokka and he’s like welcome back

and like at this point Sokka can barely stand and Zuko is supporting all his weight

and Zuko is like “you helped him when he was younger, please help him now!”

and Iroh is sad “there is nothing I can do, nephew. The moon spirit is generous, but to touch the same thing twice... an act of true love is the only way to fix this”

and Zuko gets sad and says “your fiance”

and Sokka kind of mutters “... yeah... my fiance” because now after spending a week minimum a month max with Zuko, Aang, and Druk, he definitely has feelings for Zuko but he’s confused

and everyone else gets sad and Toph is confused because she can feel their heart rates

but Zuko sucks it up and helps Sokka back onto Druk and they set back for the SWT and all Sokka is thinking is for Katara for Katara for Katara for Katara... was she right? Maybe I was too fast with Azula... but we connected and she wanted to talk to me and... for Katara for Katara...

so Katara is locked up and Azula is like “this would have been fine if you did not put up a struggle. If you surrendered peacefully we would not have to resort to this”

and then leaves because she hears that Sokka is back and Katara is like “I’m a monster, but so is Azula and I need to find Sokka and apologize and fix everything I’ve done, even if I die” so she escapes because Katara is cool like that

Zuko and Azula see each other and it’s awkward, but she sees Sokka in his arms and she realizes that he didn’t die and her idiot brother helped him they make eye contact and Zuko can kind of tell what her plan is in her eyes but Azula feigns worry for Sokka and grabs him from Zuko’s arms before he can stop her and Sokka is like “Azula...” and she’s pretending and stuff and then she sees Aang and her eyes widen at his tattoos and Zuko shoves Aang behind him and says “You aren’t taking the avatar to Father. Just save Sokka, he doesn’t have much time left”

her eyes linger on Aang with interest but she turns and leaves and sets Sokka down in a room and Sokka explains it and tries kissing her but she just laughs and is like “oh, if only there was someone out there who loved you” and in his hazy and near death mind, Sokka understands it all because he may be naive, but he’s clever

“You’re Zuko’s sister”

“I am. You really were so trusting and naive to fall in love with the first person you see.”

“I’m sorry”

“What?”

“Zuko told me about your father... I’m sorry he’s manipulating you.”

and Azula shrieks, lights her hands on fire and is just barely able to stop herself from burning him, makes sure the fire in the room dies, mentions killing Katara and Zuko and capturing Aang, then locks Sokka in the room

and Sokka is crying because he should have listened to Katara and he just wants her to be okay and he can barely move, he can’t do anything to protect her from problems he caused and Aang is going to get hurt and he misses Zuko

and Zuko misses Sokka and Aang is like “okay, something’s up”

Zuko tells him about how Azula is his sister and he doesn’t trust her and that he thinks he loves Sokka, or has feelings for him at least

Aang goes “do you think Azula really loves Sokka?”

“... no”

“then we need to turn around. Druk!”

Azula tells everyone Sokka died because of Katara and that they nee to kill her and his last words were marriage vows

the door handle rattles and Aang comes in and Sokka shakes his head and he’s crying and says “you need to get out of here, she’s gonna kill you”

and Aang is shaking his head and saying “no, don’t worry! Zuko is here and he’s on his way! It’s storming really bad outside right now and he’s fighting off some guards, but he came back for you” and Aang helps Sokka up and out of the room but guards see them and Aang stays behind to fight them

Katara stumbled upon Azula as she tries escaping and they start fighting, kind of like the Agni Kai fight and it’s really epic and cool and stuff and then Azula says something like “stop fooling around and wasting everyone’s time. I am now the ruler of the SWT and I am ordering you to stand down!”

and Katara goes “ruler... where is Sokka?”

“Sokka? Oh, he returned weak and cold. His heart was frozen. Your brother is dead because of you”

and Katara falls to her knees and cries and Azula is like “ha weakness time to kill”

and Sokka sees Zuko and he’s “running” to him but then sees Katara and Azula about to kill her and jumps in front of her despite Zuko’s pleas and Sokka is frozen and when Katara looks up and sees what happened, she loses control and freezes Azula like she did in the Agni Kai and the storm dies down and Zuko and Aang run to her and she’s clinging to Sokka and crying and so is Zuko and then sibling love and he comes back

Zuko is like “love. It doesn’t have to be a kiss.”

and they hug and Sokka is back to his normal self except his hair is still white maybe, but he introduces Katara to Zuko and Aang formally and they all hug and then the White Lotus comes and Toph and Suki and Mai and Jet are all sad because they missed the fight but are happy that Sokka’s okay and Azula is still kind of there and idk what they do with her, I’ll come back to that, actually, maybe Azula manages to escape

but so it would end kind of ambiguously because Ozai is still there and the SWT is untrusting of Katara still so they have to flee maybe and they return to the White Lotus hide out and Zuko and Sokka have a moment where they are like “hey I think I like you”

then Sokka and Katara have a great sibling moment

and that’s how it ends

okay wow that was long and took an hour and a half to type but y’all this would NOT leave my head!!!! I feel like this doesn’t have enough Katara in it, so know that if I actually made this a thing, there would be a lot more Katara and more sibling moments and Zuko and Aang and White Lotus and stuff but uhhh yeah idk if this has been done before but it was living in my mind rent free (p.s. Mai and Ty Lee do have a history with Azula in this AU and there would be an Azula redemption at some point)

if anyone has any thoughts or feelings or anything to add, please do:) I wasn’t sure if I should make Sokka or Katara Elsa, but I went with Katara because she had the powers and Zukka happening worked better with Sokka as Anna, idk