starshxped

[starshxped]

christopherhewlett‌:

Words seemed almost impossible at this point, after all what more was there to say? Sorry for being dead for so long, but it turns out I never was? Nervously, Christopher licked his chapped lips and knit his brows whilst he struggled to think of the proper words to say to his brother whom he hadn’t seen in so many years. Finally bringing his blues away from the details of his older brother’s face, Christopher noticed the pistol in his hand and couldn’t help but smirk to himself. He hadn’t changed at all. Henry was always good about that kind of thing, always had a gun on him no matter what. He hadn’t changed at all, instead he had just gotten a bit older, more tired looking, slouched and wore the face of someone who had gone through a lot of sorrow. As his gaze remained on the hand gripping loosely to his pistol, the brit realised the absence of a ring. Had Henry never married? Was he in a relationship at all? These questions could wait, right now Christopher needed to focus on the fact that he had to explain why he had done what he had. Entering the home and raising a hand to slip the hat off his head, twiddling with the material with calloused thumbs; Christopher finally released a long drawn out breath. 

Where does one even begin? What does he say? Be dramatic and tell his tale or go back to the Christopher he was before this all happened for the sake of normality? Listening intently to the sound of his own boots against the hardwood floors, he stopped only briefly to slowly slide on his heels to face Henry. His blues still shamefully on the ground, he went over his scattered thoughts for something ot say.  While he opened his mouth to speak, he was soon interrupted by a pair of familair arms wrapped around him. Shutting his mouth and knitting his brows in slight confusion, the brit brought his gaze down to the man now squeezing him as if to make sure wasn’t full of air. Suddenly it was all Henry needed for him to realise it wasn’t some sort of sick dream and he looked at him now, even more stunned than before. 

Another deep inhale and Christopher gave a small nod, speaking once more but this time more firmly. “You’ve gotten old.” was all he could say in typical younger brother fashion, always poking fun at his brother and trying to lighten the mood in some way. The last time Christopher had seen Henry was at Graham’s funeral; they both had been incredibly young. Since then there was no contact at all, so in more ways than one it felt as if looking at Henry was like looking at a ghost as well. Someone so distant but familar. The man chewed on his lip for a moment, contemplating his thoughts once more before adding “And gray.” 

Thinking back to the very last moment Henry had laid eyes on his brother, the person in front of him now was beyond the point of a stranger. He had his brother’s features, of course, but they had matured in a way beyond Henry’s expectations. He wasn’t sure of how he thought Christopher had looked prior to this point, but looking at him now he was damn sure this wasn’t anywhere near his idea. As Graham was, Christopher would’ve been forever young in Henry’s mind up until this very moment. As he traced over his wrinkles, age spots, and other bits and pieces of how he’d grown older, Henry’s eyes meeting his brother’s was the only true way he could recognize him at all. Those blue hues were the same as they’d been all those years ago and enough to convince anyone to do anything. He was glad that hadn’t changed because, in a way, it relieved him to see them now and know that this was truly his brother standing across from him.

Eyes opening as Christopher spoke, his features stayed stoic and only flinched after a moment of thought. “Well, I suppose that is what happens after nearly two decades.” There was a bit of sass that hung at the end of his tone, crossing his arms soon after as he narrowed his brows towards his brother. Although he was slightly irritated, he couldn’t help but feel an ache in his chest for his brother. For all the days they used to spend smoking and playing cards whilst Christopher wrote songs, even for all the arguments they’d get into. Those times had always been memories for Henry, but looking at Christopher now, there was an opportunity at hand to make more of them. The past was just the past, but there was a future in front of him that he couldn’t have ever imagined prior to this moment. Taking a short breath, the man sauntered over to the fridge and took out two beers to bring back over to the table. In silence, he placed one on the table in the seat next to his and brought himself back down to the chair.

“Have a seat then. Let’s hear it.” Henry gestured to the chair beside him and cracked open his beer, well knowing that this meant his sobriety was out the window. He hesitated, but then took a small sip. “Ugh, this is shite...” He mumbled, putting it down and sliding it away from him. Not even the alcohol could take a sting like this away. Truly, he needed to hear where his baby brother had been all along. Oddly enough, he had no urge to continue to drink after that point and genuinely, just wanted to know everything about Christopher now. Call the beer a force of habit, or attempting to recreate memories of their past, but he’d hoped his brother would indulge whilst he couldn’t. Looking up to his younger brother now, Henry almost felt tears threaten his eyes as he was guided through an array of emotions. Finally, his brother was here. He was no longer alone in the world.

[starshxped]

christopherhewlett‌:

Five years and twenty three days. Five years and twenty three days since Christopher had convinced the world he had long gone and passed. Five long excruciating years in a small town in London, hidden away in a small almost humble home. A home with nothing but the essentials; a kitchen, a bed, a bath and piano. It was all Christopher convinced himself he needed until he truly went and passed. One of the many things Christopher told himself he wouldn’t do, was check in on his family and make sure everything was fine - at least for his sanity. He knew if he did any bit of research he would be out the door and on his way to America again and that would completely ruin his plan of just staying away entirely. Of course yes, there was guilt for all he had left behind. He left behind his son and his daughters, his brother who he hadn’t spoken to for so long, he left behind all the men who had worked for him, his colleagues and his past loves. He left it all behind for the sake of knowing they would have a piece of mind knowing he was dead. At times he was certain it was exactly what they wanted, what they craved. This all had been a big reason why Christopher felt little to no guilt for being gone, however it didn’t mean that he hadn’t regret his choices. After a night of just fiddling with his piano, Christopher found himself gazing off in thought: How was his son? How was his daughter? How much had changed? We’re they married now? How was his brother? Did he know about his death? Where was he? How was George? Was he married with children now? Was he at any point a grandfather? The thoughts alone always are at him and tonight it was just worse than usual. With his hands on his lap, he took in a deep heavy breath and brought his blues up to the clock on the wall. He couldn’t do it, he shouldn’t. There was no way to even do it to begin with, especially when having a family such as his own. Being so affiliated with crime made it impossible to just look up his family and see how they had been doing - they didn’t go by their legal names anywhere. Which meant the only way he could logically do this, was by making contact with someone of his past and connecting the dots from there one family member to the next. It started with his brother, his brother who oddly enough did not hide under the radar anymore which scarily made him easy to find. Life in the scene of crime seemed behind Henry, seemed as if he didn’t pay it any mind at all and instead had greatly settled down after the death of Graham. Discovering that Henry had been in America this whole time came as quite the shock, not only that but that he had even gone as far as going to AA meetings every now and then and was now being medicated. Finding him so easily made it easy to find where he lived as well, which seemed effortless after a long flight and several drinks to calm himself down and tell himself that what he was doing was the right choice. If he saw anyone else from his past in the process of going to see his brother, it was just something he was going to have to face. On the drive to the neighbourhood, Christopher absentmindedly began to pick at his beard and take deep breaths. There was a chance that Henry wouldn’t even recognise Christopher to begin with, especially with how long it had been and the fact that Christopher definitely didn’t look like himself. Compared to six years prior, Christopher looked a lot older and a lot more tired. He almost never had a beard but as of lately, it just seemed to fit him right. Pat of him began to wonder if he should have cleaned up when it came to something like this, but truly there was no point. “This is the place.” The cab driver muttered, not bothering to look back at Christopher lounged in the back seat - practically slumped in thought. “Oh.” Christopher managed to mutter, dipping his gaze down to his hands as he pulled out his wallet and reached a hand over to pay the driver. “Cheers. Have a great night.” He nodded, reaching for the door to ease his way out. There he stood, in front of the place he had hoped was truly his brother’s home. The lights on, he began to wonder if his brother had created a family of his own while he had been in america, he began to wonder what if his son was there with Henry? Or his daughter? What then? Hands now clammy with nerves, he took careful and slow steps to the front door. It took him a while to even gain the courage to raise a hand to knock on the door at all yet eventually he had. He stood there, waiting for what felt like centuries as Henry took his time to approach the door. It was dawning on Chris now that he hadn’t even thought of what to say or how to even explain. Before he could come up with any ideas, the door slid open to reveal the familiar face. There stood Henry, much more tired and older. He looked as if he had seen a lot in life in the past couple years and it brought so many questions to Christopher’s mind. Though now was not the time at all, as the actor took in a deep breath Henry beat him to his words. Cutting his breath short and releasing that bottled up breath, the actor gave a small hesitant nod “Aye.” He murmured, reaching up to grab the cap off his head to hold in his hands and pursed his lips as he finally made eye contact with the brother he hadn’t seen in all these years “It’s me, Henry.” He murmured, taking in a shaken breath as he expected a very sour and awful response from the man in front of him.

To describe the moment as surreal was more than an understatement. After all those years, quite possibly nearing thirty now, his little brother was stood in front of him. The real Christopher. Henry was sure he still looked like an absolute knob, but it was impossible not to stare with a gaped mouth as he wondered so much that his mind fell silent altogether. He nearly felt as though he was going to pass out, staring down his brother whom he’d missed and mourned for so many years. There was something softer about his features now, a reminder of who he’d once been before the crime lord life had gotten to him. A reminder of who he was when he was truly Henry’s brother and nothing more. It took a few moments, but finally he was able to muster up the energy to be able to say something. “It’s been....” He paused, furrowing his brows. He wasn’t even sure how long it had been and time seemed to be passing even slower now as he continued to stare into the blue hues of his long lost brother. “You’re dead,” he muttered, running his tongue over his lips in thought as it all began to sink in now. Unaware of whether this was a hallucination still, Henry moved out of the way and let his brother inside. He turned his back, glancing only to make sure that he hadn’t disappeared altogether when he had. 

Placing the gun on the table, the Brit returned to his seat and was now staring at his meal as he had been before the other arrived. Only now, his brows were furrowed with mass confusion as he contemplated just exactly what was taking place in that moment. He wasn’t sure what to think, to do, to say. It had been so absolutely long, that he was simply questioning everything he’d known to be true. He scanned his memory for a mistake. Maybe he’d only heard he was dead. Maybe that wasn’t true. Maybe Alfie’s mourning was act. Maybe everybody lied. Maybe this was all a dream. After become recluse, it was impossible to know any of this so all he could simply do was stare at his meal. Finally, as he heard footsteps gaining, he swallowed roughly. His hallucinations rarely followed him these days as his mind was less active than before. This one, whom he wasn’t sure of, was obviously here to stay. Grabbing his mind together, Henry finally turned with that same almost disgusted look on his face.

“You... Are dead,” he nodded, eyes scanning over his brother’s features again and looking for any possible flaw his brain could’ve given. This was clear to him now, as he watched him blink and breathe, that this was no mistake of his brain. This was no hallucination. This was Christopher Hewlett in the flesh. For a moment Henry was angry, then relieved, then happy, then sad. The emotions waved through him like a tsunami making it entirely impossible for the man to react at all. With no hesitation, no words, and only silence, the shorter man stood and approached without the slightest bit of caution. Hallucination, clone, or ghost, this was his brother. His arms wrapped tightly around the other man, squeezing to make sure all the bits that were supposed to be inside were there. Once hearing the squishing of his organs, he could only pull back to get a look at his older face up close. He marveled at the newfound wrinkles, clear with age, but once his eyes had met his brothers he knew with no exception that all of this was real. And he felt insane for it. “You’re not... Dead.” Was all he could muster, shutting his eyes for a moment and keeping the insanity at bay.

[starshxped]

Henry was on the track to recovery right along with Alfie. In all honestly, he hadn’t kept up with the boy as much as he should’ve. He was ashamed of that. But it had been actual years since Henry had focused on himself and nothing but. This was his time to. His time to heal, grow, and become a better man than he’d been in the past. As he’d sobered up, his visions of the people he’d mourned became less frequent. Of course Henry missed them; in fact, ached for them in ways no one could ever understand, but now, on his medication and more sober than he’d been in a near decade, he was seeing things clearly. Seeing where he’d gone wrong and the things he’d done that he now desperately wished he could change. Those things though, were in the past, and the Brit was slowly adapting the mentality that the past would stay there. Being entirely alone made things difficult, but it certainly forced Henry to take a look at who he’d been and who he would be in the future. He wanted to be good, take care of his nephew, and show him everything that his late father hadn’t gotten the chance to. To show the woman he’d been with that he was worthy of her time and love, to show her that he would endlessly love her in return and the visions were gone for good. That was a long stretch, but it was the only goal that was allowing Henry to guide himself through recovery. That was more than anyone else could’ve said: he was doing this entirely on his own.

As Henry sat himself for a homemade dinner for one, he took a deep breath and stared at the chicken on his plate. He’d never been the best cook. Subpar, at most. He knew it would be flavorless and most likely undercooked due to his impatience, but he’d eat it anyway. It was as edible as it had to be. At the current point, he hadn’t seen any hallucinations in nearly two weeks as they began to increasingly fade whilst he stayed on schedule with his medication. There were moments, such as the one happening then, that he wished he was joined with all the friends in his head at the dinner table. He’d be able to eat then without a problem, but the silence begged him to stay silent and still with it, causing him to ignore the food on his plate entirely. As he always had, near weekly, he began to reminisce on various events in his life wondering what he could’ve done different to change them. The truth was, the past was all Henry had at this current moment. Nothing to look forward to. Although it was unable to be changed, he still had every waking minute in his mind. The ones he wanted to remember most began to fade with age, but he kept them live and well by remembering them often. He thought of Graham, especially. Keeping his memory at the very forefront of his mind, allowing him to live again through Henry’s memories.

The Brit was learning to be more patient with his thoughts now. Learning that not everything he said or envisioned was something to be acted upon or vocalized. He could remember Graham and all the feelings felt without making others feel less than or uncomfortable. He simply didn’t want to forget. Every time the details of his or Christopher’s face would begin to degrade in his mind, he’d stare at pictures for hours on end, remembering every bit of detail he possibly could. Tonight, for some odd reason, Christopher was the one in the spotlight. All the things he’d done wrong. All the things he’d said and didn’t mean. The fact that he was less of a sibling than he’d ever wanted to be to his little brother. At one point, Christopher was all he’d had and it remained true for a very long time. It was only until Graham showed up that their relationship became rocky. Graham had been in their lives for a long time, but once the pair became a triad, it became difficult for Henry not to get jealous for one reason or another. Christopher either wanted him around, or he didn’t, and that brat had always called the shots back then. It allowed Henry to feel easily excluded and- a knock. A knock came to the door, snapping the Brit from his thoughts and causing him to furrow his brows. Pushing himself from his seat, he grabbed a pistol from a nearby drawer. The one thing Christopher had certainly left with him, the need for protection. Quietly stepping towards the door, the older man took a look through the peephole, only to be thrown for an entire loop.

Christopher. Had he forgotten to take his medication today? Had he drunk by accident? Was this a dream? Was his reality blurring? No. This was all entirely impossible. He’d been on such a good run. He was older now, as well. A few more wrinkles than usual and nothing like the visions had of him in his head. It took a moment for Henry to snap out of his trance before he was slowly opening to door, teeth clenched tightly together. He was beginning to think this was some sort of sci-fi film, or perhaps, this was a ghost. He wasn’t sure why. Why now or here or what was happening at all and that was all over his expression. “Chris...” The name slipped from under his breath, gun clenched in a clammy hand as he nearly believed this was only someone else wearing the face of his brother. He couldn’t believe anything less. He hadn’t ever seen his brother’s body, but he’d been mourning him for so long that the idea of this even happening was entirely impossible. So there he stood, in entire shock as he looked at the face of his long lost brother, someone he hadn’t even gotten a chance to reconnect with before his passing, disbelief continuously filling up his thoughts. He had nothing more to say than that, taking in all of the details. He was up. Alive. Breathing. There had been so many nights that Alfie and himself had mourned this man together and yet somehow, he was standing right there. More alive than he’d ever known him to be.

[starshxped]

silverjulibeemug‌:

As Christopher began to joke about Graham’s sister, all he could do was give a small nod and put on a small sarcastic grin. “Right…right, which is fine cause I was just thinking the same about Daisy…can’t help but lose focus every time I see her in the crowd in a low cut dress… absolutely intoxicating.”he spoke, his words gentle as he took in a deep breath and took another long drag of his cigarette. Taking a large swig from the bottle, Graham took in a deep breath and began to shake his hands in anticipation. “Wherever they are, they’re taking too long..”he sighed, pushing his hair back before standing and rubbing his hands together. “I’m gonna go look for them.”he nodded, knowing well enough that this was his usual job before shows, just collecting the rest of the guys and making sure they were where they needed to be. “If I get lost or run into a blonde broad who looks my way, you will just have to put on a one man show, that fine with you Christopher??” the tall male joked as he took in a drag of his cigarette and began to make his way out of the green room.

He could hear Christopher curse him out from behind but simply rolled his eyes, it was any moment now where their manager would enter the room and see how intoxicated Chris had been and want to slap him out of it or cut him off which normally didn’t end well. Graham was known for being the posh member of the group, always slouched but walked as if he was floating on air – a certain electricity surrounding him, perhaps it had been why girls never approached him? Whether it had been intimidation or just the fact that Graham seemed to peaceful to interrupt. 

Christopher was partially too drunk to care, but could feel his blood boil a bit as he mentioned his girlfriend and future wife. He knew Graham was just talking to get under his skin and really, it was working. Christopher had and would always be a hot head in the way his brother was. The difference? He rarely showed it in that way. He gritted his teeth, allowing his head to bounce onto the cushion of the couch as Graham stood up, rolling his eyes as he sauntered away. “You better be bloody back here in ten or I swear by—!” Began, before cutting himself off. “No, it’s not bloody alright so have your fockin’ arse back here or I’ll kick it into your bloody mouth!!!” He was then cut off by their management who eagerly told him to ‘shut his bloody mouth before they were banned from yet another venue in their hometown’.

It was too long after that Christopher made his way around the venue, eyeing a few gals in search of Graham and those who, in his drunken state, he nearly mistook for his bandmate. Finally spotting the lanky boy from the corner of the room, he made his way over sneakily, giggling while he did so. Approaching Graham from behind whilst he was mid-conversation with some girls that looked far too into him, he wrapped his arms around his waist. “Hello, honeyyyyy.” He embarrassed him, seeing the eyes of the girls light up the moment they met his face. “‘ow are you, loves?” The words slid out drunk, but charmingly as he smiled a lazy smile at them. “Hate to take this one awake from you, but we’ve really got to play the show now. See you up there.” And with a wink, Christopher dragged Graham away by the hem of his shirt. “Would be like you to get bloody lost! The other boys showed ages ago!” He complained as he dragged him towards their green room again.

[starshxped]

silverjulibeemug‌:

Christopher wasted no time when it came to crawling on top of Graham who took in a deep breath and pursed his lips as he stared up at the boy now on his lap. “I reckon there will, there always are but–” before he could even finish his sentence, Christopher continued to go on about the girls after the show and eventually went as far as saying Daisy was going to bring her family. Graham wished he could wrap his head around their relationship and how it had lasted this long, especially with how Christopher had been. Graham put on a disgusted face as the singer snagged his cigarette and went on to speak about seducing the girls in the crowd. “Plus comme, souhaite-t-il pouvoir prononcer notre langue correctement. Ce serait bien” Graham spoke fluently before snagging his cigarette back and pushing his hair away from his face. 

“I’m trying to slow down on the drinking remember? Gem ‘as been right up me arse about that…”he said with hesitance before reaching a long arm over to grab the small shot out of the singer’s head “…but it wouldn’t hurt.”he grinned for a moment, tilting his head back as he took back the strong liquid and cleared his throat. “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t need that…christ.” waving his hands now, the bassist put the cigarette back between his lips and approached the tiny fridge to pull out a beer now, figuring maybe he might as well loosen up as well - perhaps going as far as even blacking out for the rest of the night to merely amuse himself. 

Christopher would’ve been offended if he hadn’t been off his rocker at the moment. He simply ignored him, cheering as he accepted the shot from him. “That’s my boy!” He grinned wide, following Graham eagerly to the mini-fridge. In seconds, he was stealing the cigarette from his lips again and this time, the beer as well. “Take a seat!” He encouraged, his own sticky lip allowing the cigarette to hang as he spoke with the beer in one hand and the other pointing towards the couch. He inhaled the cigarette briefly, handing it back to Graham as he took a swig of the beer and following suit with that. Plopping on the couch, Christopher rested his head in Graham’s lap and kicked his feet up against one of the pillars that supported the room from floor to ceiling.

“Will Gemma be here?” He cocked a brow, his hands folded across his chest as his mind wandered off to God knew where and he tapped his fingers impatiently. “Bet she will and she’ll be a nice tight dress. She always goes hot mom when she’s out on the town.” He was rambling now and he knew it got under Graham’s skin when he spoke of his sister that way, but even drunk Christopher knew realistically Gemma was and would always be off limits. “Before you hit me, I’m JOKING.” He clarified, scratching the back of his head before he looked up to Graham rather innocently. “Where are the other bloody blokes? It’ll be Countdown Time in no time.” Countdown Time referred to the ten seconds before the band went on stage, where Christopher jumped about two feet in the air in excitement and they all cheered with a shot of whatever was lying around. That was when the fun truly began.

[starshxped]

silverjulibeemug‌:

It wasn’t that Graham didn’t like doing shows, it was more so the fact he never knew who exactly who was going to end up walking on stage with most of the time. Christopher was either a sober ball of nerves who puked before every single show or a drunken energetic mess who still puked before shows due to how intoxicated he had been. Dangling the cigarette from his lips, Graham eased through the crowd and took in a deep breath as he held the plastic cup in his dainty hand. He could see a couple girls staring in his direction, but he couldn’t be bothered. They weren’t there for him, really. They were there for Christopher, who typically had women practically crawling all over him. It was when he entered the green room that he had mentally prepared himself for whatever type of Christopher he was going to approaching now. Luckily tonight, it was the energetic Chris who was doing rounds around the green room as if he was about to run track.

“Always ready.” Graham spoke soft, his large brown locks fallen in front of his face as he finally raised a hand to grab the cigarette away from his lips and hold it between his slender fingers. He watched for a moment as Christopher showed him how exactly he should act on stage and let out a bit of a laugh. “You reckon that will get the girls rightfully riled eh?”he began, licking his lips as he took a seat in front of Christopher and crossed his legs. “I don’t know if I can perform that with an equal amount of elegance as you do, Hewlett.” the younger male grinned. 

Christopher, this Christopher, was absolutely unpredictable really. That’s why when Graham took a seat, he was quick to reach to the boy’s knees and level them out, only to straddle him soon after. “The gals will absolutely LOVE that. They always do.” He began drumming his either of his fingers against Graham’s shoulders, impatient for the show to begin. “Do you reckon they’ll be many of them after the show tonight?” A brow cocked, thinking to himself more than anything before shaking his head. “Well, they’ll have to understand this is our hometown. We can’t hang around and mess with randos all night.” He rolled his eyes dramatic again, sliding off of Graham’s lap and onto the couch beside him. Reaching over to snag the boy’s cigarette, he took a drag. “Somewhat dreading this all, really. Daisy said her parents may stop by tonight which means I can’t be raunchy as per our usual programming. The girls go absolutely mad for that. Maybe-,” he cut himself off, caught in a thought before he was continuing.

“Maybe I could say something dirty in French. They won’t understand that, do you reckon? Maybe... J’en ai un gros qui est le premier en ligne?” Letting out a laugh, the man smacked Graham’s leg. “Daisy would murder me right then and there, I think.” He calmed for a second at the thought of his now fiancée, before perking up. “You know what I think we need, mate? More drinks! Brilliant idea!” And with that, he leaned over to smack a sloppy kiss to Graham’s cheek and make his way towards the bottle of whiskey he’d been doing quite the number on. Pouring a shot for himself and Graham, he held it out lazily towards him. “Come on then! Don’t be boring. Liquid luck!”

[starshxped]

Tour had always been one of Christopher’s favorite things. Performing. Girls. Different places. New cities. Drinking for free. It bundled up everything he loved and shipped him off to new places with new faces to meet people he’d never meet again and get drunk off his ass singing songs with strangers. Sitting in the green room of the venue now, he picked at a string of thread loose on the toe of his sock as they waited around for the show to begin. These were the bits he didn’t find too entertaining, though sitting around with his mates and fucking off for a while never bothered him either. “Oi, will you shut it! I’m trying to knick this thread!” He yelled as some of the technicians got a bit more rowdy in their conversation. Biting on his lip, he tugged with as much strength as he could before the thread finally popped and he jumped up in victory. “Bloody fockin’ hell!” He yelled, the buzz of the pre-gamed pints flowing through his veins easily. “Never thought that little shit would come out. ”Mumbling the words to himself, the singer struggled to shove his foot into his boot again as Graham walked though the doors. 

“My boy!” He shouted, both arms flying up in joyous reaction to his mate entering the room. “Ready for this bloody show?!” He began to feel the hype, really. The urge to jump up and down in place whilst Graham stared at him with a cigarette hanging from his lip, unimpressed. It was their usual routine, really. Christopher was the one who brought the energy. He always had and it came very easily to him. Wrapping an arm dramatically around Graham’s shoulders, he pulled him tight to his side. “You better be fockin’ ready to rumble, ‘cause I am!” He encouraged some more energy through the other man, keeping him tightly next to him. “That brooding look won’t cause the girls to scream much longer, mate. Give ‘em a bit of this...” Christopher began to swing his hips in obnoxious circles, a gigantic drunk smile on his lips as he did so. “Maybe a bit of this...” He began thrusting his hips into the air soon after, causing an even more devious smile to appear. “They’ll bloody love that!”

[starshxped]

silverjulibeemug‌:

Graham quickly turned his attention in both embarrassment and bashfulness, taking in a long deep breath “….I was having a wee.”he lied, his lips curling up in a grin because he knew exactly what lies did to Henry. Henry had a short temper and this was just going to prove it, so Graham stood in front of him with his head titled allowing his long locks to make their way to one side as he kept his grin. “Why so curious about a normal bloke just having a wee eh?”he joked, biting his lip for a moment as he studied Henry’s features. He was properly beautiful, absolutely stunning man just standing in front of him. He had features that resembled that of a man who could make any woman want to settle down and start a family - he was stunning and here he was just wanting him and only him. 

Finally, Graham caved as he took in a deep breath and kept close to the shorter male. His raspy voice growing lower as he spoke his next words: “You know what I was doing in there…”he whispered, biting his lips now as he knitted his brows and eased a bit closer.

With Graham lying to his face, Henry’s patience grew thinner, watching his playful expression and squinting his eyes ever so slightly. The way Graham was looking at him now had been the way he had dreamed and wished of for so many years, it didn’t feel real to Henry. He couldn’t possibly be looking at him that way. That’s the way that Henry had always looked at Graham. Desperately. Longingly. A normal bloke caused him to sputter a laugh, shaking his head shortly after. They were truly the furthest thing from normal, really. But they had each other and to Henry, that is what made them the best. Regardless of their normality. Graham’s response sent chills down Henry’s back, his big blue eyes set on the brunette’s features. Taking in every pore and freckle that sat on his face. “I know exactly what you were doing in there...” He repeated, hands moving very slowly upwards to fiddle with Graham’s belt. He didn’t undo it; Henry wasn’t aggressive at all when it came to his intimacy.

“It makes me wonder...” He practically whispered the words, his fingers sliding down the crotch of his pants with a touch so light it practically wasn’t there. “Did you know I was coming?” He asked, mouth gaped open slightly as he looked back up into Graham’s eyes, his fingers now back his belt, tugging on it ever so slightly. “Did you know I’d come to help you?” The words were whispered, his lips now nearly against Graham’s neck in a very desperate attempt to strengthen the tension between them. “I’ll always help you...” The whisper was nonexistent, Henry’s lips pressing against Graham’s neck rather sweetly, moving upwards, then across, while his fingers settled against his belt.

[starshxped]

silverjulibeemug‌:

Dodging people had proven itself difficult as Graham quickly jogged his way to the bathroom “Excuse me, excuse me” he went on as he quickly pushed through the heavy door and made his way towards the farthest stall in the room. Briskly approaching the stall door, the male reached a hand down to quickly unbuckle his belt and unbutton his trousers. He knew exactly what he needed to do and the moment he even got his hand around himself he felt as if he’d com-bust, that had been put to a hault though the moment  he heard the heavy door shut once again. He swallowed thickly and knitted his brows, his toes curling now as he refrained from doing anything else. It was when he heard Henry’s voice he let out a long sigh and tilted his head back, his brown shaggy locks following as he fluttered his eyes shut. “I know you’re not taking a piss” he replied back, mocking Henry’s tone and deepening his voice. He stayed in the stall for a moment before hearing the blonde speak up again.  He buttoned himself back up, buckled his belt and shamefully went to open the stall door with a deep breath of defeat. His brown depths trickled down to the shorter male who leaned against the stall next to him.��“Don’t be so cheeky now, you know exactly what you’d done…wanker,”he scoffed, trying so hard now to hold back the grin that was lingering on his lips. 

It was the mock of his own voice that caused Henry to smile, moving himself to the stall next to the one that Graham had been in. Hearing a zipper and belt buckle gave Henry the exact information he needed and it was truly only confirmed as Graham stepped out of the stall and Henry’s eyes flickered down to his crotch that was clearly hard. He smirked, his eyes following back up to the taller man’s features. “Don’t be so cheeky now, wanker...” He mocked Graham in return, his sultry eyes finally getting a good look at the male in front of him. “Scared of poppin’ one right in front of all those girls, are we?” Henry moved softly backwards, reaching the door and locking it with one hand before he was back in front of Graham, inches away. To be safe. He couldn’t risk anyone walking in on this, especially when he’d waited so long to get it. Even if they tried, they could go find someplace else to piss. This was occupied. “Bit late for that, love.” He chuckled again, feeling awfully cheeky if he was honest. 

“So what was it exactly that you were planning on doing in here then, hm?” Henry wanted to know. He wanted to hear it. He wanted to confirm that what he’d done had really messed with Graham in a physical way. It was in front of him, he could see that much, but he wanted to hear it from the horse’s mouth. To know that he’d been successful in his tortures. “So wot was it then?” He asked again, gaining closer now as he was inches away from the taller male, looking upwards in his direction, his breath practically against his neck. 

[starshxped]

silverjulibeemug‌:

Before Graham knew it, he had lost sight of Henry and didnt catch his eyes in the crowd. Confused, he knitted his brows through his shaggy brown hair and looked around briefly for the male before catching him at the back of the bar. What could he possibly be doing back there? Rocking his hips side to side, Graham watched intently as Henry licked his lips and slowly grazed his hand along the crotch area of his jeans. It was such a tease, he’d be lying if he had to briefly turn away as to not embarrass himself in front of a crowd. However, that had immediately gone south the moment Henry decided to make a move with the bottle in his hands. Licking all the way up to the point Graham was certain he had missed a couple chords, but no one had noticed. Not yet. Swallowing hard, the lanky male adjusted the bass in front of his groin and took in a deep breath. Taking a large drag of the fag between his fingers, he tried to calm himself down. This only proved difficult the moment the song had ended and Christopher went on a rant to the crowd about lord knows what.

Graham pursed his lips and gave Henry a scolding look, knowing he knew damn well what he had done and how he had put Graham in a situation he would have to act cool in. After the last song, Graham was quick to raise his strap over his head and set his bass down in it’s stand. Nearly racing off the stage in order to hide his embarrassment “Wot are you on about?!” Christopher called out “Have to wee!!” Graham quickly replied.

The moment Graham turned away, Henry knew he’d succeeded. It felt good, really. He had a laugh and another swig before he finally put it to rest. The look of disapproval from Graham was enough to tell him he should have. The girls continued to cheer, even after the boys had left the stage and Henry made his way to the back as he always did to say hello. Christopher was too wrapped up in his drunken rant to notice Henry slipping right past him and the other lads in order to find Graham wherever he was now hiding his embarrassment. He made sure he was alone before calling out the other boy’s name, “Oi? Graham...?” He cocked a brow, looking around suspiciously then turning a sharp corner and revealing a bathroom. He walked inside, looking downwards at the three stalls among him. “I know you’re not taking a piss in there.” He said against the door where his feet lie under, a devilish smirk on his face knowing he’d caused all this in the first place.

Now was the point where Graham and the boys usually freshened up to say hello to a lucky few fans, but really, that was going to be put on pause for tonight. “Don’t make me kick this bloody door down.” There was a slight chuckle in his voice, resting his head against the stall now as he waited for the lanky bassist to swing it open. “I’m sorry, alright? Really couldn’t help it when you go bashful like that.” He mocked an apology, anything to get him to open the door. Anything to see that face. Those features. Everything he’d been eyeing and aching for all night.

[starshxped]

silverjulibeemug‌:

It was hard now to resist looking up at Henry with teasing eyes and a small smirk, he continued to strum and pick at the strings. He needed to focus on the song before he fucked it all up because he couldn’t take his attention away the boy seated in the crowd. The moment he had done the “wanker” motion he couldn’t help but let out a brief laugh. Raising his brow and lip to do his usual facial expression he had given Henry whenever he had seen him across the room. It was a face he usually made when the attention had been put on him. Eventually, he saw a fan stand next to him and it only made him chuckle. Poor Henry had to deal with this quite often, it was worse already seeing as he had been the brother of the lead singer that every female seemed to lose their mind over.  

Graham paid no bother and continued to play his bass, desperately trying to keep his calm as Henry stared up at him. Last thing he needed was Christopher to notice, but instead Christopher would make his way over and sing in his face or dance around his lanky frame instead.

Shifting his place, Henry almost couldn’t handle the response Graham had given back to him and soon after, took a swig of alcohol for confidence. Henry was grateful he wasn’t at the point where he was noticed as Christopher’s brother. It made it easy to glide around the club incognito. As Christopher stole the boy’s attention, he took the opportunity to find somewhere else to stand. A more private area, but with a view Graham or himself could not deny. He smiled gently at a few fans before settling in the back corner where absolutely no one had been. Fortunately, the club was rather small and Christopher was rather drunk so any actions made by Henry would go utterly unnoticed. His glare was back on his eyes, watching every one of Graham’s moves and doing his best to seem interested in the others as well. There was subtle movements. A lick of the lips, graze of the crotch, the simple way he took the cigarette from his mouth and blew the smoke outwards. He wouldn’t take his eyes off Graham now.

It was soon after that Henry ordered a brew and made sure it was one that had only come in a bottle. He’d play all the games Graham wanted to and his major goal was to distract the bassist, but remain unnoticed. It was a rather fun game after all. He sipped from the long neck of the bottle, holding it in a slightly suggestive way and cheering toward the stage before taking another swig. It was then that he “accidentally” spilled a bit of alcohol, allowing it to drip down the neck of the bottle and further more onto his hand. Henry, with taunting eyes, made sure Graham had no other distractions before licking up every drop that had fallen. His tongue ran up the course of the bottle, making sure to lap up a bit on his hand before cleaning it off and almost bursting out into laughter. Henry wasn’t usually this sexual, but Graham’s reactions had made everything entirely worth it.

[starshxped]

silverjulibeemug‌:

The band was getting quite large, larger than any of them had even anticipated. When it came to the screaming girls, it hardly even made Graham bat an eye now. It all was the same no matter where they played, Christopher just had that energy and if it hadn’t gotten to him already – it very well would. Exhaling the smoke through his nostrils and turning away from the crowd briefly so he could roll his eyes at Christopher’s behavior, he couldn’t help but have a chuckle with himself quietly. Funny how a man who was soon to be a father and planned to be engaged, had absolutely thrived off the attention of hundreds of girls. However, even though Graham hated to admit it, so did he. Attention was nice no matter where it came from, but as for tonight, he could feel Henry’s eyes practically piercing through him. Turning back towards the crowd now and adjusting his amplifier, Graham’s eyes flickered back up to Henry’s. He had the same look he always had when he sat in the crowd. The look of false annoyance and his usual scowl, but whenever his blues met him – they squinted ever so slightly in a taunting manner. Almost begging for the boy to get off stage and approach him right there and then in front of hundreds. Graham wondered if anyone ever noticed, still he let the smirk linger on his lips as he bashfully shook his head and let his hair fall flat in front of his face; the safety blanket for him that had him feel safe in moments like this, the less eye contact, the better.

As the song began, Graham began to rock his lips and bop his head the way he usually had. He hated moments like this, when he became aware of how awkward he probably seemed just standing up there picking away. He always felt he had to make up for it and do some sort of dance, but he knew it looked awkward with his height. He envied the way Christopher ran amuck on stage and jumped all around making a scene, if he could he very well would have. Finally, Graham’s eyes caught Henry’s once again and this time, he didn’t bashfully look away for some reason he just continued to pluck away and keep the stare. As if trying to let Henry know, this. This is for you. 

Henry would never understand what was so appealing about what they did. He simply couldn’t comprehend why the idea was so tantalizing to the boys on stage. Christopher absolutely loved it, but Christopher had always loved attention - from anyone. Graham was a bit more quiet than Christopher though, which Henry supposed was the part that confused him the most. He would never judge him for enjoying the career though, as he’d seen first hand how happy it made all of them. It made him smile when Graham looked away bashfully and continued to play, because Henry then knew that he was feeling something as well. He wasn’t alone in this tension. He couldn’t be bothered to tell if anyone was watching him watch Graham, so he simply kept on doing so. He loved how natural performing came to the lanky man. He could simply see how much he was enjoying himself on the stage, regardless of Christopher’s attention-seeking behavior. Henry’s thoughts drifted as he wondered if Daisy was around anywhere before his eyes were back on the bassist. That beautiful boy that he could now, in a way, call his own. Henry lifted a cigarette to light between his lips and kept his eyes locked with Graham’s. Seconds later, a hand was slowly making its way upward to mock the ‘jerking off’ gesture that Graham had always made to him. It was a tease, really. Using his opposite hand to remove the cigarette from between his lips, Henry’s smile grew lazily across his face as he blew out the smoke.

“Don’t you just love Graham?!” A fan came to Henry’s side, screaming the sentence over the music and causing his eyes to drift her way. “I do, actually. Favourite member of the band, really.” He nodded contently, not being able to keep his chuckle in a shortly after, hanging his head in embarrassment. His eyes were then back to Graham, ever so tauntingly, his elbow rested on the arm that laid across his body with a fingertip to his teeth in thought. He really wanted him now and the young lady had done nothing but make it worse.

[starshxped]

silverjulibeemug‌:

 This was truly the month of discovery and self discovery at that.  It had Graham awake late at night staring at the ceiling and questioning himself and his identity and although at times it could be terrifying, it felt rather exhilarating all at once. What could it all possibly mean? After the night he had shared with Henry, it had him practically float from room to room. They were in no means in any sort of relationship, but the thought alone had Graham’s stomach in knots Could it possibly work? What if Christopher found out? what if it would never get to that point? After all, it was one night. What if they just put it behind them? What if they had only snogged each other out of pure curiosity? there was no way. Graham felt absolutely electric, he felt it in his veins as the blood pulsed. Still, there were dark looming thoughts in the back of his mind that screamed and craved for drugs and alcohol but those were set aside now that Henry had taken a majority of his thoughts now. Hearing his name, Graham pushed his shaggy brown hair up and away from his face – clearing his throat as he nodded and quickly.  Christopher walked out on stage with confidence, arms swaying behind them as he puffed his chest forward and eagerly looked for the beer that always waited for him on top of the amplifiers. Graham eased across the stage, head hanging low as he usually had. The beer could wait, the cigarettes always came first. After the ritual of lighting the cigarette between his lips and letting it hang, the lanky male adjusted the bass against his chest and finally peered up through strands of brown to examine the crowd. It was the moment he caught glance of Henry he couldn’t help but put on a cheeky grin, how could he not? 

To Henry, it was insane the way things had worked out. He wasn’t sure how long it would last, or if it would even, but he was remaining in this moment where Graham and him were closer than they’d ever been. He wasn’t worrying about what would happen should they get caught, or what anybody else thought of their relationship. It was simply Graham and Henry; the way he’d always wanted it to be. As Christopher strutted onto stage, the crowd of raging girls had only begun to rage harder. That was most of their fanbase anyhow, and most of them were pining after his brother. It was odd from that standpoint; to watch as a bunch of young girls yearned for his younger brother on stage. He was proud to a point though, of all of them, that they had gotten this far. They deserved it, really. Besides Henry’s business, Christopher put a lot of himself into the band. Music had always been important to him and Henry didn’t think that would change, no matter the age. He was snapped from his thoughts of pride as his eyes finally met with Graham’s.

The smirk on the bassist’s face was enough to cause him to lean back against the bar, his eyes squinting ever so slightly in suggestion. It was funny how one night could change the way the two simply looked at each other. Now, from the crowd, Henry wasn’t glaring in thought as per usual, he could be seen eyeing Graham from across the room. Eyeing him in a way that said more than words could. It was as they began to play their first song that Henry’s teeth fell tight into his bottom lip. He couldn’t help himself. He would’ve drooled had his mouth not been shut. There was something even more specially about watching Graham perform now, something he couldn’t quite keep his eyes off of. He knew he’d had to look away eventually, eye Christopher in an entirely different way and chuckle as the drunk father next to him complained about the volume of their music. It was good to see the boys getting their energy out in such an expressive way and really, as always, he was more than proud.