#timeline and like retconning and shit I’ve ended up duplicating it so there’s the one currently being published

[chaoticbuggybitchboy]

Send help the calendars are multiplying

[thewebcomicsreview]

Oh shit, Homestuck 2 is back! Looks like the art team problems are getting worse, but maybe the writing’s good? Quick, recap of the story so far, since there was a hiatus

Previously, on Homestuck 2:  DIRK: I’m evil now and we’re on a new planet where we shall create our own lifeforms and rule them as gods ROSE: I’m making memes and vaginas DIRK: NOOOOO ROSE: Jade got me preganté and we named our kid Yiffy and I kept it a secret from everyone this whole time, including my wife but inexplicably not the dictator I’ve trying to overthrow, who kidnapped her JOHN: NOOOOO CALLIOPE: I’m in ur bod drinking ur juice JADE: NOOOOO CALLIOPE: Oh, like you’re not used to having weird people inside you, skank JADE: Wow, rude, I’m kicking you out of my brain for that  CALLIOPE: NOOOOO JOHN: Man, I love how my son tells me everything and keeps no secrets  KARKAT: John! Vriska’s alive and she murdered the clown pope and your son is hiding her because he and his friends are wanted for treason  JOHN: ...... KARKAT: You’re supposed to say “NOOOOO” John: Why would I? That fucking rules!  We now return to Homestuck 2

Yay, we’re finally seeing Davebot, Aradia, and Calliope. Fun fact: In a comic with like ten billion retcons and timeline splits, this Aradia is still the definitive “real” Aradia in a way no other character can claim to be (except Sollux), which is a fun endgame for a character who was introduced has having hundreds of thousands of duplicates.  I can not wait to see how the HS2 writers ruin her. (Also, where did they get a rocket ship?)

Also it it me, or is there something a little off about this art?

DAVEBOT: beep boop ARADIA: i have told you several times that i was a robot before and i know for a fact you dont have to say beep boop DAVEBOT: hm that sounds fake does not compute ARADIA: david DAVEBOT: mom

“David”? 

This is the first indication in the entire series that any of these kids’ names are short for anything, something Hussie explicitly said wasn’t the case but which was never actually addressed in the comic proper so I guess it’s not a plot hole. Still, it feels a little....wrong? 

ARADIA: well we are both an infinite number of years old living countless lifetimes at once but thats no reason to waste any of our...

Wait, what?! Aradia is Ultimate, too? When did that happen?! Why does she not need a robot body? 

DAVEBOT: time DAVEBOT: say time ARADIA: ... DAVEBOT: time then make a weird face

There’s a fine line between “callback” and straight up recycling a joke. 

ARADIA: would you say you are hung up on leaving your wife and friends behind DAVEBOT: are you ARADIA: am i hung up about leaving your wife and friends behind ARADIA: i do not think that i am no DAVEBOT: arent you even a little guilty about ditching your boyfriend ARADIA: what ARADIA: oh fuck

I do like the implication here that Aradia flat forgot about Sollux. Poor dude can’t catch a break. .

Ooh, an [S]. An extremely basic one, but still. Also, from this scene in the epilogues:

The distant sounds of war travel above the canopy of a forest. The artillery fire fades to a series of muted knocks and thuds as the sound waves cross beyond a thinning patch of the forest and arrive in a clearing of grass and shrubbery. Above, the sky is dramatic, colorful, menacing. The way it looks when a storm is coming. The clouds are wild, whipped into a sort of spatial frenzy, as if they know what’s imminent is no earthly phenomena. Aradia stands in the field, her mouth gaping wide. But not at the sky.

Probably the starkest example of how the epilogues presented Earth C has falling about and doomed and stormy and scary like the system crash in Reboot and Homestuck 2 has it all sunny and bright. I kind of wish HS2 kept the semi-apocalyptic feel of the epilogues, even if it made Aradia’s spurious decision to leave Sollux behind way more dickish. 

Oh hey, God’s back, and back in the body of the OG pre-Retcon Jade Harley. There’s something very Shoujo about this posing.

DAVEBOT: thanks JADE: They sit in each other's presence, the silence between them as meaningful as any words they could exchange. DAVEBOT: its always really cool to hear how meaningful my silences are DAVEBOT: especially while DAVEBOT: CALCULATING DAVEBOT: CALCULATING DAVEBOT: especially while i am attempting to experience them

I think Calliope, and possibly Aradia, is shipping Dave/Aradia right now, which is a pairing that has some comedic appeal were it not for Dave’s gayness.

ARADIA: i think she looks quite lovely covered in the viscera of the all-powerful enemy she consumed ARADIA: floating lifelessly in our periphery

We just established that this is months after they left Candyland. Has Jade’s body been covered in the blood and guts of Lord English this entire time? Take a goddamn shower, Jesus. 

Oh, there we go. Much better. Also, the one thing I heard about this upd8 was all the discussion of jorts, and then Dave references jorts, but no one is actually wearing them, unless Aradia’s got a pair on under her cultist robes? (Also, is Calliope’s Jade body healed from the shard of reality that killed it originally, or is there just a huge hole under her shirt)?

JADE: As a point of curiosity- ARADIA: oh shit!!!!

The dead Cherub possessing the body of an equally deceased Goddess of Space pauses at the interruption. Were she to voice her opinion, it would be that --actually-- it is not unusual for those whose primary concern is The Grander Scheme to have a passing curiosity about the insignificant. So when one really thinks about it, any annoyance with the attendant’s small mindedness is both understandable and warranted.

ARADIA: :(

Given how much time was spent on how Terezi can sense Dirk’s narration, I like how Calliope’s narration is literally just her talking out loud and everyone can clearly hear it and just assumes it’s like a troll quirk.

ARADIA: in this form our bodies stop aging once we reach maturity i think ARADIA: the god tier keeps our physical form locked in a state of undying ARADIA: even in death the bodies do not decay ARADIA: only lay dormant DAVEBOT: no thats boring DAVEBOT: like how long have you been alive JADE: yes, that one.

One of the things I don’t fully get about Calliope is why there’s stuff like this she doesn’t know. Another thing I don’t get: How come John and Jake are visibly middle-aged? They’re gods, too. 

ARADIA: you were there too i threw your air conditioner into the sun DAVEBOT: wow thats fucked up DAVEBOT: thats not where that goes at all JADE: these events are not-canonical. ARADIA: rude

I believe this is a reference to Pesterquest?

DAVEBOT: is that the trope of being hundreds of years old but looking young forever patently sucks ass DAVEBOT: a plot device an asshole would write ARADIA: :( JADE: that is not what i am trying to say at all. DAVEBOT: hmm wow yeah thatd really be a sort of pot/kettle situation i guess DAVEBOT: i cant believe im the only woke one here DAVEBOT: its hard being such a visionary AND such a fine metallic specimen

What the fuck is David even talking about? What? 

DAVEBOT: but can she see why kids love the sweet cinnamon taste of cinnamon toast crunch JADE: i do not know, or care, what that means. ARADIA: neither do i :)

I like the “Best Narrator” mug, and with this sudden headache to interrupt the laughter comes the end of the chapter and presumably a lead in to the next one when we’ll learn what’s blowing Calliope’s mind 

[abundantchewtoys]

HS Epi Meat, p5 reaction

Meat Page 5.

We might be due another perspective switch - unless the plot stays with John until he's assembled all his friends.

When John goes to pick up Rose, it’ll probably be on LOLAR. Terezi might still be there, if she hasn’t gone clownhunting just yet.

If so, perhaps we’ll get to see whether Rose ‘n Terezi’s migraine was really due to the substance abuse + caleidoscopic colours of LOLAR + glitches… Or whether it was due to the GO timeline “supposed to” have gone differently, with John’s current retcon being the thing missing to happen. It takes a bit of effort, remembering what everyone was exactly up to on this part of the GO timeline and what would be a fortunate time for John to take it off the rails. For Kanaya, that might very well be the moment Jane set up her literal shop on LOFAF, selling her all those blood potions, for instance.

For Dirk, it might be before his conversation with Arquiusprite.

I'm getting the feeling that John might be jumping to exactly those moments in the scenes where the characters were at their lowest, self-esteem wise. Giving them a literal second breath. ;)

Not sure what we can expect from the ghost side of things though. I think they might not be duplicated, leading us to meet up with (Vriska) as we knew her, punk cut and all. Even though GO Terezi's ghost will be there with her too.

I'm half convinced Calliope will get copied somehow, but not entirely sure. The only 'real' duplicate Calliope had already, besides Alt Calliope, was her dreamself. He could snatch the body, but I was under the impression Caliborn consumed it in a literal sense to establish his dominance over the body.

Meanwhile, it occurred to me to that Andrew Hussie (the author avator) will make a comeback, probably a background cameo. I've only now realized that he's a literal ghost writer of his own story right now, in-canon. While outside of canon, he’s more becoming like Stan Lee, executive producing stories using characters he designed.

Anyway, let's start this up.

---

"The stands of the Cantown Memorial Arena" Okay, my first thought was this takes place on the meteor, but yeah, it's a building named presumably after the literal Cantown WV build in his station, back on Earth. Or the Exile Town that Bec Noir massacred. Though, does this indicate a perspective switch back to Roxy... Or is the CMA where Rumble in the Pumpkin Patch is recorded? Probably the latter, meaning the perspective is switching back to Dave! Uh, the alpha version, I guess I should call him? Post-canon, adult Dave?

"His shit eating was so brutal that no one, except maybe Jake, cares that he’s taking a phone call in the middle of a live broadcast." So, was it staged, or did Jake really get a power boost, coming into his role as the Page?

Also, I feel like if Karkat's run for president gets announced by Dave on live television, "and the crowd goes wild" will apply here.

"Dave takes a seat on the couch, right in Karkat’s butt groove." Okay, so he's not going just yet. ... Karkat's butt groove is available because the latter absconded the fuck out last we saw him, hahah.

"a piece of absolute garbage." Callback secured.

"DAVE: while the beatdown you just received was as thorough as it was humiliating im afraid as usual the solution to this problem should probably not involve your decapitation" While Dirk might be the one to keep this beaten dead horse of an in-joke going, Dave isn't going to be the one to cut its head off and end its misery. :P

"DAVE: jake just kicked your ass DAVE: thats really all there is to say on the matter" AWWWWW yessss, hahahahah. Dirk's laid down, on the ground, on his smartphone, just like Dave was after his beatdown by Bro. Awesome callback.

"DAVE: its really amazing how this meme we have going here continues to be exactly as funny as the day it was established DIRK: Isn’t it always though? DAVE: yeah" That's Strider Irony at its finest for you. You never can be entirely sure non-sincerity is what's taking place here.

" DAVE: how DID you get your ass kicked so bad DAVE: jake sucks and his raps are fucking awful" Oh, scratch that thing about his power level, then. ... The rapbots didn't join in to beat Dirk down, did they? ... Though I would like to see either them or their zilly versions again. :P

"

On the TV, Dirk makes an elegant hand sign that once might have represented solidarity with some ancient coastal rap group but now has been utterly divorced from its cultural context here on Earth C." Is it a sign associated with... the ICP? Yes, I guess whatever 'references' the kids make get picked up as divine decree...

"The camera pans away from him and over the crowd. It zooms in on a young crocodile wearing an oversized T-shirt with Jake’s highly marketable ass plastered over it and the phrase “Tally ho” written in big bubble letters." ... including stuff that was already dated when the gods were still actual kids. (By which I mean the phrase, not Jake's marketable ass.)

"DIRK: Holding back a little to achieve certain results doesn’t necessarily mean you’re participating in a farce or rigging the event. DIRK: We do this all the time. We hold back our thoughts, our true feelings, our full potential. We disguise how much we know about what and when, for many purposes. To ease relations, to let others behave naturally and make up their minds without undue intervention. To wait for the right moments to show our hands, to pick our battles. " Dirk is still overthinking things. :P He's also still a schemer, even though he's grown more mature. I think in this case, he might be trying to keep up Jake's taste for adventure and hone his skills? That might be related to the fact that he's one of the few in the know of what John is up to (also a thing he's withholding right now), and he might be trying to get Jake battle-ready in case he needs to be. ... In case he doesn't believe they'll stay irrelevant to the plot.

"DAVE: my dog you are full of some SHIT today arent you DIRK: Absolutely." It's a good thing Dave can see Dirk typing, otherwise I might have asked whether Dirk may have reinstated an autoresponder to answer when he's busy. :P

"DIRK: And when it comes to theater, there are just as many reasons for restraint. To build tension. To set the stage. To give the people someone to root against." Okay, that's actually kind of meta. Also, in-story, it might mean Dirk is deliberately trying to come off as weaker, to get people to boo at Jake so he can play hero?

"DAVE: i can see you on tv DAVE: theyre booing you dude" Okay, never mind.

"The excitable salamander manning the camera switches to a fish-eye lens for some unfathomable reason, giving the whole exchange an air of demented absurdity. Dirk’s sunglasses distort and stretch to dominate the entire screen." I'm all here for NPC races doing menial labor half-way competently. :P Also, I feel like there should be some sort of visual callback to that image of Dirk's sunglasses. Something to do with the black hole from Problem Sleuth expanding to suck the entire universe up, which was reflected in the Stiller shades, and the event in itself is being called back to now, in the Black Hole sucking up the Furthest Ring!

"JAKE: What about the agitated rabble? Theyre starting to throw things. DIRK: I don’t know. Do a dance or something. Sing a song. DIRK: They love anything you do. JAKE: Ummm. JAKE: Ok sounds stupid but ill try." Using Jake's charisma as crowd control? Dirk, you beautiful mastermind.

"Jake tips an imaginary hat toward center stage and begins doing the Charleston." Hah, right, this might be a callback to that other Page dancing old-time dances, hahah, Tavros after he assembled the ghost army.

"Just as Dirk predicted, the crowd immediately loses its shit, except for a single carapacian in the front row, who continues to glower at Dirk with an expression of absolute and total contempt." If Jack hadn't remained in the session, I would've designated this guy as his great-whatever-grandchild.

"DAVE: why do you want people to hate you so much DAVE: its fucked up DIRK: You’re reading way too much into it." I don't necessarily believe that.

"DIRK: If I wanted another round of embarrassingly indulgent and mutually masturbatory psychoanalysis, I would have called my daughter instead. DAVE: hm DAVE: do i need to point out how fucking weird what you just said was or can that start going without saying at this point" This. This is Homestuck. This entire exchange.

" DIRK: The point is, playing myself up as a villain figure in this hacky rap pageant has nothing to do with getting people to dislike me. Besides, everyone loves a good villain. When they boo, they don’t really mean it." That has me thinking of Thog, a villain from Order of the Stick, actually. But yeah, Caliborn, Condy and others were really good villains. Doesn't mean we didn't mean it when we cursed them, though.

"DIRK: I think you’d be surprised by how popular I actually am. DAVE: i dunno man" At some point, playing the villain stops being a role, if you're too thorough in antagonizing the crowd. Dirk may have gone overboard here - in his role in the pageant I mean, I don't think anyone loves their god any less. Just one more way to show that, victory state or not, their original issues still come into play and challenge them to grow.

"DIRK: The point is, this is much less about me, and more about providing a foil for Jake’s heroism and charisma. DIRK: It’s very important that his popularity continues to be cultivated, to maximize his political capital. DAVE: political capital" ... Oooooh! Thinking three steps ahead of everyone again, nice going Dirk! I think Dirk might even have foreseen Dave rallying Karkat to stand against Jane, but I wonder which side he'll be choosing!

" DAVE: what the fuck are... DAVE: ok how long have you known about the jane thing DAVE: i mean is this something you have been planning for like DAVE: a long time or DIRK: Planning is such an intense word." Oh, he's trying to pull the strings again, is he? What game is he playing then, what policies does he want to instate, if any? ... Is Dirk a supposed xenophone too, or just playing to the tune of the largest group of swing voters?

" DAVE: jane is a shitty candidate dude DAVE: shes going to be so shitty DIRK: I thought you’d feel that way." ... Pfff I just realized Dirk wasn't typing, since this was a phone call. He's saying this all out loud! Typing's the old way of conversation, we discarded it for the most part, everyone has their Gift of Gab now. Well, hopefully at least Dave's part isn't being recorded and broadcast.

"DIRK: I respectfully disagree. DAVE: i get shes a good friend of yours and all but even you have to admit how far up her own ass she is DIRK: Of course. I consider it to be among her best qualifications for the job." Dirk might just be thinking: a self-absorbed candidate won't notice being pulled around. Even though she's, you know, his dear friend and all, he's still planning on manipulating her. :/ Old habits and such.

"DAVE: christ DAVE: ok if nothing else have you at least taken into account the DEVASTATION to the economy this will cause???" Strider Irony(tm).

"DIRK: Dave, I think if you search your soul, you’ll come to the same conclusion I have. Jane is just what this planet needs. DIRK: We’ve all had our fun here, but it’s easy to overlook the fact that civilization on Earth C is hardly a sustainable proposition. DIRK: Just beneath the surface, it’s quite a dangerous and unstable place." Oh, cool, so Dirk was acting on the same things Dave noticed, just having drawn different conclusions. Guess there's more to playing god as a winner of Sburb than sitting on your butt all day long, huh?

"DAVE: i know that DAVE: which is why actually i think it would be cool to have a president that is good instead of bad DIRK: He’s not as great as you think. DAVE: what" See, I know Dirk'll say Karkat, but I kind of wish he'd say Obama. :P

"DAVE: who DAVE: obama?? DAVE: how dare you" XD PFFFFFffffhah, okay, should've seen that coming.

"DIRK: I’m happy for both of you, really. It’s nice that you encourage and support each other in this way. But you’re sending him on a fool’s errand which can only end badly." Like, I understand where Dirk's coming from, we know how unbalanced Karkat is at his worst. But Dirk's seems to be the conservatist route, while the current status quo is so unbalanced someone with at least a little liberal thinking should try changing policy, little by little. ... Okay now Homestuck has me doing political discourse. Hussieeeeeeee! ... Why am I now picturing a Homestuck AU about the climate change truant student marches of Europe?

"DAVE: wait DAVE: how do you even know hes entering the race DAVE: we like just decided this DIRK: A competent political operative has his ways. DIRK: Besides, it was always pretty obvious to me you’d react this way the moment the announcement was made." Okay, not ruling out entirely Dirk has something spying on Dave, but that would verge too much on what Bro would've done in his place. He probably just cold-mindedly assessed his potential response.

"DAVE: cause if youve already got jake on your side then i guess we might as well just fucking quit DIRK: I wouldn’t worry about that. DIRK: He and I don’t quite have the rapport we once did. DIRK: He’s “over me” and doesn’t spare opportunities to make ostentatious demonstration of this claim. DAVE: um DIRK: Basically he doesn’t like being told what to do. Especially not by me." Cool, okay, so... Jake is needy in his own way, in showing he can fend for himself, at least that's how Dirk sees it. Guess they still hang out a lot though, just no longer "like that". That must be a letdown for the shippers, but a boon for the people that felt betrayed at seeing Dirk & Jake back together in the Credits. I like that middle road, actually! And hey, the versions of Jake & Dirk in the New Game Plus timeline, or whatever we should call it, are still fair game!

"DIRK: So it’s fair to say as of now, he’s still fully in play. DIRK: Not that I should be encouraging you, really. DAVE: you are one doubletalking son of a bitch you know that DAVE: i cant tell if you dont want us to run or are reverse psychology mindfucking us into running" Very true, that. Why would he share the truth about Jake if he wants to win, unless he wants fair competition? Best not to dwell on it too long on this neverending stairway of hidden intentions, lest we fall down it.

" DAVE: not like i can just stand around and wait for president crocker to like DAVE: write fucking grammar laws into the constitution" Pfffff, yes, I had forgotten about Jane's grammar practices, hahah. Guess she has a good running mate in Dirk for that, at least, capitalization and everything in order when he's not rapping.

"DIRK: Sorry to cut this short, but diapers are starting to come down pretty hard right now, and some of them haven’t even had their babies removed. DAVE: what" what. I hope it's at least consort babies, they're arguably the most resilient, as semi-sapient animals.

"DIRK: That was a joke." Ah.

"Jake can’t help but watch the motion, raking his eyes over the muscles shifting beneath the skin of Dirk’s neck and arms.

There is something implacably magnificent about Dirk Strider, Jake thinks, untamed like a wild game beast of incredible size and strength." ... Well then! I didn't think the narration would offer us this view from the perspective of Jake, thought it would be reseverd for John! Not entirely sure how I feel about the privilege of seeing Jake pine for Dirk, though. :P At least it clarifies where the allure is in it, for him. It's an extension of his taste for adventure and his upbringing on an island full of terribly powerful beasts.

"Of course, their history together is never far from Jake’s mind, however many years it’s been since their last tussle of an amorous nature. The old dramas and triumphs in the days of Sburb. Dirk’s companionship has been taxing to the heart, to say the least, and yet he’s taught Jake so much—about combat, philosophy, life, love." Okay, that is just such a Jake thing to phrase it like this. I'm glad we get to see he's not so oblivious or un-elloquent in his mind as he presents himself to the outside world, consciously or not.

"But sometimes, despite their checkered and problematic past, Jakes wishes that he could seize Dirk by the proverbial horns and wrest him bodily into becoming a much more agreeable fellow." Heheh, so Jake actually would like to impose on Dirk some manners. At least with him it stays with desires, while Dirk really did try to impose on Jake when they were together.

"DIRK: How about you kick off the next round? DIRK: I bet this crowd will settle its shit right down the moment you drop the latest rhymes you’ve been tinkering with." This is going to be painful to read, isn't it? ... If we're going to read them at all. ... I swear, this might just lead into them having "the xest rapoff in the history of Earth C".

"Jake’s face lights up. He composes himself, adjusting a bow tie, although he is not wearing one, and making a vague gesture like he’s twirling one end of that mustache Dirk has not yet let him grow. Dirk lets him go with a gentle smile, like the sort you’d give to a dog for performing a trick adequately. Jake responds to the signal like an Olympic athlete hearing the starter pistol. He was born for this." All the best and worst aspects of Dirk & Jake as a couple are basically summarized here. I mean, Dirk is not even WITH Jake and vetoes some of his choices. Then again, Jake really does have TERRIBLE (but hilarious) taste in mannerisms.

"JAKE: Tally ho its me, jake mcgee! JAKE: Popping my pistols off, two shots and a kiss JAKE: My aim is tops, i never miss" ... I'm not disappointed, this really IS almost physically painful to read, as expected.

... Okay that was actually a very amazing rap. Well thought out, good use of the vocabulary, dated though it is. I liked "jake-eng's" and "jape-slings" in particular, especially since that was what Vriska dismissed him as, a joke, a jape.

"The crowd, as Dirk rightly predicted, has settled its shit right down. This is not due to any accidental brilliance on the part of Jake English, but rather due to an abashed but loyal brand of pity, the kind a devoted fan cannot help but feel when they see a beloved celebrity make an ass out of themselves during a live broadcast they have waited two and a half years in line to buy a ticket for." I think this might be Dirk's POV. Not everyone's tastes in rap are as dignified as his, after all. :P Consorts in particular might love this. Then again, we saw John embarass carapacians not too long ago, they're not immune to pitying people. But hey, on the brightside, maybe some of the audience <>'s Jake now. :P

"Dirk’s phone begins going off again." Unless it's something more ominous, this is probably Dave having the last quip.

"With a casual flick of his wrist, Dirk snaps out a bright red tranquilizer handgun and shoots Jake in the neck. Jake’s glasses crack when he hits the mat. A chorus of boos rises up from the crowd like groundwater. Dirk artfully dodges a bucket of obscene troll fluid to field yet another very important personal call." ... Did Dirk actually use a Crockertech tranquilizer on his co-god? What the hell, Dirk? Guess all is fair in the ring.

And I suppose it's not Dave then that is calling him this time, if he takes such drastic measures.

"DIRK: Yo Rose, what's up?" Oooh, if we get to see this, that would be early we get to see Rose again! Dirk and Rose'll probably be planning their next move now that John has left. (Which I take Rose to already know about, through her Seer powers, or a call with Roxy.) ... Maybe some of their plans only could have worked IF John left, if they wanted to regain some measure of relevance through them.

[abundantchewtoys]

HS Epi, Meat p6 reaction

I gotta say, snatching people from the Game Over timeline was a good way to invest us back into these characters. Plus, unlike the post-canon selves, they don't have 'certain victory' all written over them - by which I mean that I think it's unlikely they would be killed outside Universe C, since its existence and their ability to live in it was their Ultimate Reward. Admittedly, the planet they've inherited is less than ideal, but that was never stipulated in the rules.

Meanwhile, John himself with his retcon powers remains more earthed in the plot, also because this was the timeline he originated from in the first place. Still unsure how the fact there's 1 John but 2 versions of his selves will get resolved though.

I kind of doubt the New Game Plus versions (Cosmic Reset? still unsure on what to call them) are going to be joining their adult selves in Universe C, though the idea of the post-canon selves serving as guardians amuses me. I also doubt the NGP's are going to create their own timeline in Universe C to inhabit, with John joining them after 7 years. They would be deprived of 7 years of John, and even though he mostly kept to himself in the post-canon timeline, that would kind of suck, and not even Dirk creating an Autoresponder for John could bridge the time difference adequately. So, I figure they might just pick up one of the spare teen Johns (or rather, export one from the timeline, just like how John is now duplicating the Game Over selves). Maybe the one (John) that John sent to LOWAS when he went back to consult Terezi.

... Hmm, after seeing Blaperile checking out the Load Game & Save Game links on Homestuck, I think I've decided to call this new timeline the Reload timeline!! :D

Anyway, I suppose we're in for a perspective switch back to John now, and indeed like I said previously, I think LOLAR is the most likely candidate. It wouldn't feel entirely right for John to leave Rose hanging for now in favour of, say, fetching Dirk first.

---

"The sky is really blue. But it’s a different kind of blue than Earth C’s sky; it’s less, somehow, like someone took a photo of the sky and turned the contrast down a little, just enough to make the clouds blend into the horizon." ... This is Andrew Hussie criticizing his own art, isn't it? Hahah! This must be LOLAR, so I guess it's back to John now, since we're in Command Prompt Land again.

"That is to say, it isn’t the kind of sky promised by a paradise planet. Just an ordinary one." Oh sure, that's the in-story explanation: it lacks promise.

"You realize suddenly how much you’ve missed the ordinary, as opposed to the supposedly perfect." Oooh, heheh, guess John got bored by the idyllic parts of Earth C.

"You’ve been away from home almost as many years as you lived there. It’s not just the sky. Everything else is exactly and nothing like you remembered it: the scent of damp grass, the quality of the air, the solitude." Wait what? John went back to Earth?? What plot point could he mess up there without messing up the events leading up to the Reload timeline? ... Has he travelled back to his own atmospheric page? Since he says he's "home", it isn't the exile's future or Dirk and Roxy's. Guess it'll be either John's actual home or Jane's, but... What could he do here that wouldn't mess up the timeline?? ... Steal Jane's Dad just before she Enters? No, wait, she tried to follow him around on LOCAH...

Yeah, Blaperile's correct in that if he sees his Dad, he'll be very sad.

"A woodpecker raps away incessantly at the tree with the tire swing outside your old bedroom window." XDSFSFSF, so it's really his home, in the past! ... I would rather like him to visit his Dad's past, but I doubt we'll ever see his childhood. Still, what could Rose have sent him here to retrieve?

"You couldn’t think of anywhere else to go, so you and your little army are sitting in a circle in your old backyard exactly one week before the meteors hit." Hopy shit, he didn't zap them to blankspace???? Hah, I guess John's at school and Dad's at work. And the neighbours... Well, the suburb might be deserted during office hours, actually. Would be funny if in the background, an elder crazy cat lady is seen ogling them from behind her curtains, or something.

Wow, okay, so, in case he's already went and fetched... everyone of the B1 and B2 kids, and his "little army" is complete, this must be a time skip! That must've been an awkward meeting altogether! Welp, so much for the conversation with Terezi, and seeing Karkat & Kanaya's response (in case he fetched Jane right about the time she was on LOFAF).

"It’s you, Rose, Dave, Jade, and all four of your teenage progenitors, each dressed in god tier garb. No trolls. No one who can die" Yep... Guess, like some of the platform conversations, as well as the LOMAX ones, we'll just have to imagine all the fluff. It's the Meat path for a reason, after all. We're jumping straight to the Meat of the rest of the "meat-up". :mspa:

"No one who can die from anything less than a heroic sacrifice. At least, this is what you assume to be the reasoning for Rose’s instructions to assemble your party this way." Well, Rose might have had a Light vision showing only they went to confront Caliborn, so then this is just self-fullfilling prophecy. Guess we're left with the idea that, in the abandoned session, everything might still have gone to shit, if no-one of these kids came back. We know how the confrontation between Aranea and )(IC went, and how the trolls fared against them all. Eeesh, I hope that's not the fate in store for these versions of Terezi, Kanaya and Karkat. One Game Over death for them was enough.

"Wind slices down the street, between the neat rows of bungalows. It’s chilly, carrying air from the mountaintops with it. Even that feels different. The wind moves through you now, under your skin and right into your bones, skimming their hollows the same way it does the homes of your salamander neighbors, or the open mailbox in front of your childhood house." The wind still skims the void, but the boy is part of the wind now. Hey, I didn't know of the mountains near John's home. Are they in the direction of Pipe lake?

"The smell of a cake baking wafts from the open window and the sick stench of browning sugar fills the yard. You used to hate that too, but now it makes you want to—" ... PFffff, so Dad IS home. Unless he put a cake in the oven and put a timer on, we know he owns a timer. Now I picture Dad seeing a bunch of people in coloured pyjamas in his yard and immediately putting a cake on. Those poor, homeless clowns deserve some real food after all. :mspa:

"> Dude, don’t cry in front of all the cool teen versions of your friends.

You hold back your tears with a big, ugly snort." Aww... I actually thought he wanted to just run in and hug his Dad, actually. But this...

"Jake is sort of ruining the mood anyway by bouncing away on your old Green Slime pogo. Doesn’t he realize how dangerous that thing is? Of course not. The fool." Jake, stop, what are you doing. Behave yourself, man! It's like he's a goddamned empty-headed consort.

"Dave fractures the silence by broaching a subject that’s on everyone’s mind but yours, apparently." Why he's an adult now?

"DAVE: so whats gonna happen to everyone we left in the wrecked time line" ... How thoughtful, actually. I mean, John can't just dismiss them as irrelevant. No matter the actual state of the timeline and their relevance to the ending, Kanaya's Rose's girlfriend, Terezi is Dave's ex, Karkat is still John's buddy and the mayor is the mayor! The other dudes, PM and the villains, as well as the sprites though, are less relevant to this party. Hope John doesn't say the timeline has vanished into the void by now, like Alt Future Dave's.

"JOHN: uh, well. JOHN: i don’t know actually. i’ve been to that time line four times now and it always pretty much goes to shit." It also happens to be your timeline. So, what does he count as his separate appearances in the timeline, then? He appeared in Dave's room, out in LOHAC, on LOFAF, on Derse, went back to LOHAC, appeared after Game Over, zapped back to meet with Terezi, and now he's zapped back to retrieve everyone! Maybe he's taking some of those appearances as a single one. Like the original Game Over is one, Reload is two, and then some other times?

"DAVE: oh ROSE: This has been bothering me as well. Is Kanaya going to be ok? ROSE: And by Kanaya, I guess I mean... everyone?" I knew it. ... Can Kanaya be a euphemism for everyone from now on? :mspa:

"DAVE: yeah what about karkat DAVE: and terezi DAVE: and the MAYOR?? JADE: oh my god!!!!! DAVE: what JADE: actually dave, i hate to say it but... JADE: i think john might have actually saved the mayor by bringing us all here?" Okay, Jade is indeed fine again. Hey, yeah, she was about to threaten the mayor to get Dave to cooperate, wasn't she? Ooooh, this marks it, this is the first time every B1 kid was featured in the same conversation. What a unique accomplishment!

"DAVE: jade that is seriously uncool JADE: i KNOW! JADE: i was gonna kick him right into the lava! DAVE: that is fucked up on so many levels i dont even know where to begin DAVE: its like an escher staircase of cartoon villainy" Yes, Grimbark Jade wasn't all bark! But her idea of villainy was childish on some levels still, because that's just what she's like!

"DAVE: i got nothing DAVE: its so DAVE: so... JADE: grimbark? :B woof woof DAVE: jesus no jade its stone cold evil DAVE: i cant believe you just said that shit and then woofed at me DAVE: i cant DAVE: i cant even look at you right now" Yes, Dave was really attached to the mayor in this timeline, even more so than in the final timeline leading to Universe C. But uh, welp, I hope this doesn't cause any fractures! We got to remember, they aren't in the best place here, emotionally. All of them still have all these unresolved psychological issues, more so than the post-canon selves.

"JOHN: uh, everyone, can we...

Everyone turns to look at you immediately, like you’re an authority. Which you kind of are." Yes, John, you can't bring a group of teenagers together as an adult without knowing something about handling emotional outbursts. Face it... You're a dad now. :P Or at least a big brother.

"You are struck with the sudden and uncomfortable realization that you are the only adult in the yard. You’ve never felt like an adult until this moment. Eighteen came and went and nothing really changed except that you’re pretty certain you could grow a bitchin’ mustache now if you wanted." That's just how it is, you feel like the same vaguely irresponsible person until you are trust back into a group of people where the age difference is felt the hardest. And heheh, now I'm reminded of Davesprite's note impersonating Dad, chiding John about growing facial hair in his absence. :P

"And you might even have one by now, if you didn’t feel a sense of duty to uphold the sacred Egbert family tradition of shaving at least once per day, even if it isn’t really necessary. You owe at least that much to the memory of your departed father." Aww.

"JOHN: let’s chill out for a minute. i’m sure this is all very confusing to all of you. JOHN: about the time line you’re leaving behind... yeah, i get it. it’s weird. JOHN: i’ve already left one major time line behind. well, two if you count the one i just came from, where we’re all adults. JOHN: the truth is, i have no idea what happens to these time lines and all the people living in them, when i just... zap out of them, to use my retcon powers to change stuff?" For doomed timelines it's simple: you either die and become a ghost, you go back to change the timeline, or you get erased when someone does the second thing. But for John's retconned timelines, yeah, it's not as clear. If it doesn't work like with doomed timelines, there's already a bunch of duplicate timelines out there with associated ghosts in the dreambubbles. Meaning a lot of new confused human ghosts, which we haven't seen anything of until now. I wonder, dead or alive, if any of these duplicates will be brought up again. Well, besides a John like I've already theorized.

"JOHN: they might stop existing completely. i don’t know. JOHN: the thing is, we can’t really think about it. JOHN: it’s tough, but if we’re all acting like heroes here, and trying to do the right thing, then we have to put it all behind us. JOHN: it’s a sacrifice we’re making. JOHN: i mean, we’re risking our lives by fighting a powerful monster, sure." This would be a rousing speech if you weren't the one to have kidnapped them. And, seeing as you're an adult and they're teens, kidnap is still the right word here. Can't wait to hear input from the B2 kids about this, actually. Dirk could blow all John's arguments of the table in a heartbeat, actually. Heheh. HEARTbeat.

"JOHN: but the sacrifice i’m talking about... is saying goodbye to the life we thought we belonged to, and all the people in it. JOHN: probably forever. JOHN: it sucks, and i’m sorry i had to ask this of you all. JOHN: but there’s no other way. JOHN: everyone who has ever existed, and will ever exist, is counting on us... i think? JOHN: so... JOHN: yeah.

> Shrug." So on the one hand, John acknowledges he might have left Earth C forgood, but on the other hand he saw it as a goodbye, not a farewell. Still, he's right to address the threat Lord English poses to Paradox Space as well as the continued existence of the universes inside Genesis Frogs. I mean, the continued existence without threat of annihilation by a time travelling mobster.

"It’s all you can think to do to punctuate your speech of lukewarm inspirational value. Judging from the confused looks from the others, all of them may share your assessment of your own oratorical skills, except for one person. She’s perked up at your spiel, regarding you with alert and admiring eyes." Boyfriend material, isn't he, Roxy? :P Yeah, how's John going to take this rehash of their first meeting. It's one thing to long back to a moment, but to revisit it, him an adult and she a teen? Awwwwkwwwwaaaard.

"ROXY: that was a fine ass speech and idk if i speak for the rest of my peeps here but im fuckin psyched ROXY: lets do this shit" Well yeah, Roxy did have her shit together the best out of everyone. She overcame her character flaw (the drinking) on her own.

"She *wonks* at you." Her typos transcend media.

" JOHN: uh.

You weren’t prepared to get passively hit on by the Definitely Not Legal version of a girl you used to have a crush on at the age she was when you first met her, only a few hours after you watched the Actually Legal version of her engage in passionate hand-holding with her possibly aromantic skeleton alien monster girlfriend. You start to sweat, and again the unwelcome odor of undercooked meat emanating from your body makes itself known to your nose." Of course Roxy is more okay to hit on him, see her Dad crush. Meanwhile, John has all this *history* he's thinking about. Also, he might actually don't want to interfere with the "whatever" that is Roxy/Calliope! That would be sportive of him, if it were true. Lastly, how many times is the meat-odored sweat going to remind John which path he's in, hahah. ... Is it the same in the Candy path, some sickening sweet smell sticking to him? Crumbs of sugar in his hair?

"You quickly distance your mind from any additional discomfiting thoughts about your old and semi-ex flame, and propel yourself into a wildly unrehearsed tactical planning session. You review each of your abilities, strengths, and weaknesses, and then cobble together a reasonably sound approach to besieging a young and bratty version of Lord English by way of surprise attack. The planning is mostly disorganized and structureless, although some common themes that often recur involve you and your original three friends leading the charge, since you are the oldest and wisest, and therefore the strongest, with the exception of Jade, whose gaudy array of powers make her the most formidable of the group, bar none. Aside from that, it appears the consensus is that the melee will likely devolve into an absolute free-for-all—at least going by the general patterns of incoherent banter, shit-talking, and points of pedantic tactical disagreement plaguing the jam session. You overhear someone making mention of... a huge, gay hope bubble? That can’t be right, but you didn’t catch who said it. A flamboyant pink spell? Yeah, this conversation is off the rails now." Yeah, these guys were never good at the finesses of planning things out. Partially due to their teen problems, but in the final timeline before Collide, they weren't really planning anything either beyond deciding how to split up. ... How and where did the Hope and Heart powers of Jake and Dirk become known to the B2 kids, though? Did John whisk them away at a later point in their timeline, after Brain Ghost Dirk had already manifested and Jake was killed once by Aranea? Oh, and only by rereading do I understand John designated himself as the oldest and wisest and strongest barring Jade, I thought he meant all four B1 kids, that couldn't be right.

"At the precise moment you believe the meeting has outlasted its usefulness, Jake does you the favor of effectively pounding the gavel for adjournment by rocking back a bit too far on your lawn pogo and launching himself over the top of the ride on the next bounce. He face-plants right into the dirt." Still the cosmic butt monkey then. Gotta love the juxtaposition with his more 'mature' version on the previous page. Also, maybe Blaperile is right and the Hope & Heart powers were speculated on, not actually witnessed. Unless Rose had a Light epiphany.

"Dirk goes to help your yard clean the Jake off its dirt." ... Yes. That is definitely a thing that can be really happening.

"Jade follows, to help out. It seems she wants to chat with Jake, considering it’s the first time they’ve met, from her perspective. Some eruptions of chatter can be heard from other members of the group." Aww, okay, it's time for a platform conversation parallel. Who'll approach John then, Roxy? But Rose would want to talk to her at some point, too.

"It’s easy to forget, since the reunion between your friends and all your young relatives happened so long ago from your point of view, but this is all quite novel to everyone here. They’ve hardly had a moment to process it, since your plan to drag them all off to fight Lord English has understandably stolen the thunder of an otherwise poignant homecoming. Poor kids, you think." Wow, this alienation is really something. It must be jarring to experience some shit for the semi-second time, seeing people with baggage that, from your perspective, they've already cast aside.

"You decide to give the teens some space to work through their shit before you take off to save the universe." Off screen reunion time! But where will John head to?

"You end up wandering all the way around to the other side of your house," Is he going to meet Dad by accident? Or at least watch him from a distance? I figured he couldn't do much in the yard without being noticed if Dad was home, but maybe I was wrong. I like Blaperile's idea that John will leave him a note. He could forge one, making it look like Nanna wrote it, actually. ... Or maybe he will write something his teen self wouldn't know how to put into words, yet...

"Your dad’s sitting right there, smoking his pipe and operating his professional-looking, boring, gray PDA. He’s got the kitchen timer set up on his desk, and you can hear the notes of his favorite fatherly jazz album filtering out through the window, which is open only an inch." Oh, so Dad is home!! Guess he was to engrossed in his interests to notice anything amiss, and John was ignorant of his Dad's actions that day, apparently. ... No mention of the Crosbytop, but then that might have been too silly for this emotional moment. Poor John. He won't be able to contact him without messing up the timeline, and anything less than direct contact (a note, PDA message) might ring hollow in his ears too. It's sad to think, but there's no saving his Dad, not without creating another timeline, and that might have unforeseen consequences. But John might still have thought about it, or start thinking about it. Unless he feels that doing so would rob the event of importance, plus that he would start feeling obligated to save everyone's loved ones once he started. His Dad raised him better than to be so self-centered!

"The sun is hitting the glass in such a way that you can’t see his face." Oh, he's facing the window? I thought he was sitting behind the desk, but apparently he was somewhere else, near the grammophone, perhaps. Also, featureless guardian, that never stopped being a thing!

"> This is probably the last time you’ll ever have the chance to talk to him...

The urge is overwhelming. But you can’t, and not just because your feet won’t move and your throat is closing up. It’s just that... it would be a really bad idea to bother him. It would totally freak him out, to have an adult version of his son show up out of the blue and knock on his window like a creep. He probably wouldn’t even recognize you."

:/ True enough.

But John didn't think about rewriting the timeline to save him so much as how his immediate action would be responded to in the moment.

"> Fair enough. It’s time to go, John." The narrative prompts are a lot more lenient and respectful than in Homestuck proper.

"You return to the backyard. Your teen friends have split off into genetically segmented groups: Roxy and Rose sitting in the grass, Jade and your shared ecto-parents laughing together by the Green Slime pogo, and the Striders leaning against the farthest fence, with a tense foot and a half of space between them. It’s heartwarming." I think the Strider conversation is going about as good as on LOPAK. Hopefully even smoother, because the original took a while to get going.

Though it must be a tad painful for John to watch all this unfold, seeing as he can't have the reunion he so desires.

"But something doesn’t feel right about it to you, possibly for selfish reasons. It’s the selfishness of your own perspective, of wanting the memories you had of the reunion between all these people to be the most notable and legitimate manifestation of this event. To see the moment echo, or play out all over again, to overhear the heartfelt confessions repeat themselves... It feels cheap. To you, that is. To the man who lived through it all before and selfishly doesn’t want to have the memory tarnished with a tawdry reprisal" Yeah, John was hoping that lending them legitimacy through the retcon would improve on the conversations being had. And his memory of the event he experienced was already so gilded, his expectations were sky-high in this regard. ... I feel like the narration might be acknowledging the grown-up fans in this.

"You wonder. Do you see these teen versions of your friends as “real”? Are you treating them, at Rose’s behest, as simple puppets? Doing your part to insist they fill friend-shaped recesses in an essential plan to stabilize all else that can be considered important, a distinction no longer applying to them? Do you care at all about whatever fate it may be that you are sentencing these children to? Are you becoming as complicit in the fatalistic evils of Paradox Space as Lord English himself? Are you becoming a monster, John Egbert?" These are good questions for John to have. Because for him to not have qualms, he would be the monster he fears to become. John has to open his heart to them. Blaperile has a good point though, John might have felt this alienated from the post-canon versions of his friends too, whether he realizes it or not. That could explain him losing touch with them. But yeah. He's here now, adult or not. He's got to make due, and see if he can't reconnect with either version of his friends. He'll become a better friend for it.

John never had a problem with meeting another version of himself like the other kids had, but maybe it was all along because that kind of existential crisis is only caused in him through meeting people he should love but feels alienated from: Dad, these versions of his friends, all the ghosts in the dreambubbles...

"JOHN: uh, hey kids... ROSE: Please, Adult John, don’t do that." Oh hell yes. Better nip that denominator in the bud, Rose. (Heh, Rosebud.)

"It’s obvious that she’s trying very hard to hide her apprehension. ROSE: Is it time to go? JOHN: yeah. JOHN: i mean... JOHN: no, if you want to be technical. i can zap us in wherever, whenever. we have all the time in the universe if we want it. ROSE: But if we don’t leave now, you’re afraid we never will? JOHN: heh."

I love how in-tune Rose and John are, no matter how much time and space has separated them.

"JOHN: i guess it’s true that people don’t really change. they just grow up?

Rose gives Roxy a strange look, appearing to silently acknowledge an entire conversation that has been taking place, using a great volume of words that aren’t being spoken." Heh, Rose and Roxy's conversation on the platform was about their moms and how different or not the other was to that person. I take it their conversation went in the same direction this time around. I think John's response is just more proof to the veracity of the claim. Also, more proof on the pile of the ultimate self, on the side, actually. The idea being kind of like, they're the same person but different due to the circumstance.

" ROSE: I guess.

She smiles." Also, for Rose it must be nice to see the boy she knew still lives inside the man she doesn't know yet.

"> Get the show on the road. JOHN: okay everyone... i’ve never zapped this many people before so let’s all just... JOHN: uh, hold hands, maybe? in a circle, i mean. that should work. DAVE: god this is so lame JADE: its not lame its perfect!!! DAVE: nah JOHN: shh! JOHN: alright. is everyone ready, then?" Kumbaya, my lord, kumbaya. :P Dirk, Jake and Jane didn't get any lines yet, that'll be something for a later page. ... Hah, Blaperile has a good point. John zapped a planet away, twice! Why would this bother him now? :P

... Is the Masterpiece really up next, wow. (After a scene change to Universe C.)

"Only Jade says yes enthusiastically." God, I really missed simply happy Jade. We might still see her on Universe C, but it's with the knowledge she spent three years without any real sapient friends but Jaspersprite & Nannasprite.

"The last thing you hear before zapping away is your dad’s kitchen timer going off in his study." Time's up! Appropriate, if they're really going to confront Jake now.

I got to say, it would be very nice seeing the Masterpiece how it really happened, and not what Caliborn told us. I wonder what he lied about, if anything. It would seem noteworthy to mention John was an adult, but then again, humans might all look alike to cherubs. It's true that Arquiusprite wasn't mentioned on the character list, but I blaim it on Equius being Voided out, it's been a theme before. It's his aspect, the Expatriate's sign hid the cue ball from Doc Scratch' sight, Gamzee used Equius blood to erase himself from the tomb, and so on.

I also think there are odds that characters without dialogue are not mentioned on the character list, like WV. Though it would be weird for Equius/Arquiusprite to be the only troll without dialogue. Davepeta represents the Collide timeline's Nepeta, so that explains her absence from the list.

Still, it would need to be explained how Arquiusprite got there and from what timeline. My money is on him uploading himself through Lil' Seb.

... I thought of something. If we start from the assumption Caliborn's Earth is Earth C in the far future, and not put their by say Condy after Game Over, then logically Lil' Seb, Arquiusprite and Gamzee are all from the Collide timeline.