#time to tag a bunch of youtubers i would scream if last year me saw i watched!
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Nothing has happened yet—thank God— but as he paces the floor of their bedroom, all he can think about is how if this goes south, they’d be angering the most powerful gang this side of the valley, and Daithi thinks that’s something he and Brian could do without.
It’s something they really could do without, knowing for a fact that they’ve stayed with The Belladonna Sierra too long to have any other place to run to. The farm has become more of a home the gang ever was, he supposes, but Evan knows they’re here. Their leader would come looking if they didn’t come back soon.
- five rounds, six cylinders, chapter five; photograph
designs for mentioned members The Belladonna Sierra in our western AU. Haha get it- the initials- it’s— it’s just Banana Bus Squad. that’s the joke!
i have... never drawn any of them before (van literally dragged me into watching BBS for the sake of this AU and now i’m in hell) so it was a struggle finding a good balance between IRL appearance/avatar/vague historical accuracy, but i’m happy with what we ended up with!!
why do these happy silly guys look like they’re experiencing the horrors, huh?? well, you can read the fic HERE!!
#time to tag a bunch of youtubers i would scream if last year me saw i watched!#vanossgaming#h2o delirious#moo snuckel#i am wildcat#basicallyidowrk#bbs#banana bus squad#vanoss crew#wow... evan has been the only one with spoken dialogue...#kinda weird that jon brock tyler and marcel have only been mentioned...#is what you're thinking still reading tags..............#WELL... you know ...................#gestures vaguely to latest chapter note being about a break from formula......#(but you didn’t hear that from me!)#youtube#twitch#western au#5r6c
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Social Media Fic Recs
One of my guiltiest and pickiest pleasures in fic are twitter fics! This list is made up of some of my favorite in the category, including socials other then twitter.
This list will include all ratings and tags, so read at your own discretion! :)
The Martian:
The Mark Watney Report by AsperJasper - Rated G
Space Pirate-Ninja @MarkWatney nasa must agree with me if they only censored my f*uck a little bit last time i tried to swear at martinez they replaced it with an emoji
Space Pirate-Ninja @MarkWatney this is what power feels like: making some poor person at nasa decide which curse words are appropriate to be tweeted out over work wifi
You Know You Have a Permanent Piece of My Medium-Sized American Heart by tricatular - Rated T
“Hey Hermes!” The ambient suspicion level in the Rec ratcheted up significantly. Kapoor was disturbingly cheerful. “We’ve sent you some mission updates in the data dump, but Mitch and I wanted to personally let you know—” Mitch visibly rolled his eyes in the background. “—That thanks to some…strong suggestions from the White House, and on Annie and Director Sanders’ recommendation, we’ve started releasing Watney’s Mars logs to the public.”
Marvel:
Caption That by maddo - Rated T
Peter’s Instagram had been pretty popular since Instagram’s account noticed and reposted one of his photos, an impossible angle of the New York skyline (thank you Spider-Man) and was floating at around twenty thousand followers.
Then suddenly, @pparker was in the top 100 most followed Instagram accounts.
Just a bunch of little anecdotes regarding our favourite spider and his Instagram account, feat. a meme-tastic Tony Stark.
The Life of Spidey (As Seen Through A Spider-Man Fan Account) by hi_im_jared_19 - Rated T
Spidey-is-a-disaster @chaoticgoodboy
Disclaimer: I appreciate Spidey stepping up to help others. If more people acted like him, the world would be a better place. He is undeniably a good person. That being said, he is an entire human disaster, and I’m here to prove it.
OR
Spider-Man's rise to popularity through the lens of a random twitter account dedicated to his dumbassery.
the conspiracy kids by tempestaurora - Rated T
Series: 3 Works
in which peter, harley and ned ask the all-important question: WHO IS SPIDER-MAN?
one mask at a time by natelette - Rated T
Spider-Man is unmasked, and the world reacts.
Or how Peter, the internet, and the entire world deal in the wake of Mysterio’s video. Spoilers for Far From Home.
DC:
The True Identity: Bruce Wayne by November_Clouds - Rated G
makayla | sc mkyla457 @mkyla456 lmao watch him go off [attached: Video of Bruce Wayne in business casual clothes screaming as he charges towards The Penguin brandishing a long black pipe. Behind him is the main center for the Martha Wayne Foundation, front windows shattered and reception desk on fire. The Penguin looks Scared.]
After a tweet goes viral, people think they've finally figured it out. The real identity of Bruce Wayne.
Red Hood.
(social media fic, based off that tumblr post)
Gotham Online by julidoesnotwrite (notjuli) - Rated T
The Waynes and the Bats as seen through social media.
gotham : a conspiracy thread by noahfense (orphan_account) - Rated T
ti(i wanna die)m @nightwingsass
the real reason Batman hasn’t responded to my conspiracy thread is because he’s jared,19,
-
in a world where Jason Todd didn't die and Tim Drake has parents that actually care about his wellbeing, Tim runs a popular batfam stan account and his followers convince him to start a YouTube channel.
Yuri on Ice:
Night is Young and the Music's High by opalish - Rated T
"Best press conference ever," the Japanese Nationals silver medalist says when asked. “Ten out of ten, would medal again.”
"I would die for Katsuki-kun," Minami declares, with terrifying sincerity.
On ICE!!! by Watermelonsmellinfellon - Rated M
The first time Katsuki Yuuri saw Victor Nikiforov perform, he realized he had a great desire to see figure skating in a video game. In fifteen years, his dream is realized. Little does he know that Victor's attention has been caught by the very game he unknowingly inspired. So ensues the cutest meeting ever and the relationship that follows.
Love Born in the Eye of the Storm by ScribblerQueen1 - Rated T
After a snowstorm cancels their return flight and all the hotels are overbooked, Yuuri decides to detour home to wait it out. He offers to let other stranded skaters stay at Yuu-topia, he just didn't know one of them was Victor Nikiforov.
(i'm) the boy you'd die for by jenmishe - Rated T
v-nikiforov ✓
[Video: A short clip where Victor is laying dramatically on the couch with miserable expression. “Heartbreaker” by Marina and the Diamonds is playing.]
13,481 likes
v-nikiforov✓ Am I the another one? (((
vitYASS victor,,,, honey,,,, i lvoe you so much,,,, but WHY are you like this.
red-blue-gay but??? does that mean that somebody has broken victor’s heart???? I DON'T UNDERSTAND
christophe-gc ✓ You’re ridiculous.
starsaregay But who recorded it?? Makkachin???
vityathebabe user @starsaregay asking the real question.
--- The adventures of Yuuri "Heartbreaker" Katsuki, or: how Yuuri became known as a cold player full of himself who doesn't care about anyone. (Hint: it's an anxiety and obliviousness.)
Haikyuu:
Framing by Fayah - Rated M
At age 22, Kozume Kenma had millions of subscribers on youtube, one blissfully fucked out Hinata Shouyou on his bed, and a plan.
conflict of interest by zukushou -Rated T
“If you are familiar with the world of D-1 volleyball, chances are you’ve heard the names Hinata Shouyou and Kageyama Tobio. Both twenty-four-year-old athletes are famous for their skill and athletic prowess, but they’ve recently become household names for their intense rivalry.
Early this year, Hinata Shouyou signed onto the MSBY Black Jackals as a wing spiker after a two-year stint in Brazil, playing beach volleyball. He was an unknown in the V-League, but he quickly proved himself with his defensive skill and incredible jumping height and speed.
It wasn’t until the fateful Schweiden Adlers vs. MSBY Black Jackals match just yesterday that viewers came to the realization that Hinata Shouyou was the long-awaited rival of Kageyama Tobio.”
OR
Kageyama and Hinata are married. The press seem to think that they’re hostile rivals who despise each other.
On Great Rivalries and General Dumbassery by NocturnalNights - Rated G
It's not exactly that they were hiding the fact that they had been married for about 7 years now. It's that no one seemed to have caught on yet.
Or: Kageyama and Hinata may have forgotten to mention one very important part of their rivalry.
Good Omens:
it's a new craze by attheborder - Rated T
CROWLEY: I try not to make a habit of gratitude, but I must give our appreciation to everyone out there who’s been listening and subscribing to The Ineffable Plan. AZIRAPHALE: Ooh, yes, we’ve become quite popular, haven’t we? CROWLEY: Yeah, just hit number eight on the advice charts … No advertising at all. AZIRAPHALE: Mm. How … miraculous. CROWLEY: … Aziraphale. You did not.
***
Crowley and Aziraphale are very possibly the people least qualified, on the entire planet, to start up an advice podcast.
But what else is there to do when the world isn’t ending anytime soon, you’re technically on indefinite sabbatical from your lifelong careers, and you need a plausible excuse to spend more time with your best friend who you’re definitely not, absolutely not, maybe just a little, actually maybe overwhelmingly in love with?
hear that bell ringing (but won't get the door) by Rivran - Rated T
Social media: 1 Aziraphale and Crowley: 0.
These could all be read standalone, but it’s better if you read them in order. No, yeah, you should definitely read these in order. Each story features Aziraphale and Crowley, with a supporting cast of human characters for that sweet sweet outsider POV.
It (movies):
Retweet Verse by plinys - Rated T
Series: 12 works
A collection of post-It Ch2 fics that are a mix of domestic Richie/Eddie and social media interactions from all the Losers.
Buzzfeed Presents: 10 Times Richie and Eddie Tozier were Very, Very Married by kyaticlikestea - Rated T
Stanley Uris @surisaccounting I was going through my most recent photos and came across this nice one of @richietozier and @etozier at their wedding last week. Congratulations to the happy couple. They’ve never looked better. [attached image is a photo of two penguins arguing]
Richie ‘My Husband is Also A’ Tozier ✔ @richietozier replying to @surisaccounting Hey @surisaccounting take down that tweet or I’ll keep doing this [attached image is a photo of a Common Potoo, which has been incorrectly labelled ‘Crow’ in Comic Sans font]
Buzzfeed makes a list of all the times Richie and Eddie Tozier, beloved husbands of the Internet, were incredibly married. Perhaps unsurprisingly, it isn't a short list.
Nicest Celebrity You've Ever Met? by atomicteaparty - Rated G
Richie Tozier is a loudmouth guy who can’t be kept down by any woman at all! He’s a party animal who’s constantly meeting new people and living up the party lifestyle… or at least, that’s what his onstage persona is.
What if people who’ve met him realize he isn’t the same guy in real life?
Or: Some people talk about how Richie Tozier surprised them on reddit
14 Reasons Why Richie Tozier and His Husband Are #relationshipgoals by robin_hoods - Rated M
Get yourself a man who looks at you like Richie Tozier looks at Eddie.
areas of expertise by dudski - Rated T
The Exoneration of Richie Tozier by Blissymbolics - Rated T
COMEDIAN RICHIE TOZIER VOLUNTARILY CONFESSES TO STRIKING AND KILLING AN ESCAPED CONVICT IN WHAT MAINE AUTHORITIES ARE CALLING A JUSTIFIED HOMICIDE IN DEFENSE OF ANOTHER
Tozier reportedly struck the assailant on the back of the head with a blunt object in defense of his childhood friend, Michael Hanlon, a librarian who lives in Tozier's hometown of Derry, Maine.
I killed a clown. AMA! by liesmyth - Rated T
I (39M) got stabbed twice today and now I want a divorce. Help?
Or: the one where Eddie is on Reddit.
October 14, 2016.
@PuzzleStan is:
-A puzzle enthusiast named Stan (44%, 3553 votes) -An anonymous stan of puzzles (44%, 3602 votes) -A puzzle enthusiast named Stan who is leaning into the wordplay (12%, 969 votes)
Misc - For Fandoms with only one fic:
#thatjacksonkid by The_German_Grim_Reaper - Rated G
Fandom: Percy Jackson
Following an episode of Buzzfeed Unsolved, several twitter users do their best to uncover the truth about Percy Jackson. They get surprisingly far.
Mr LAFD Updates Man by hammersmiths - Rated T
Fandom: 9-1-1
Series: 2 works
Eddie mans the LAFD Twitter account. Buck tries to be supportive.
Audience: 822,000 and Homeland Security by WerewolvesAreReal - Rated G
Fandom: Leverage
Hardison starts a live-stream for Dragon Age to show off his new mods. And he kicks ass. But his viewers are actually a bit more concerned about the angry guy in the background of his videos, and the blond chick who keeps peering through his windows.
"Is this some kind of performance art," asks peskytroll341.
Actually Me - Eddie Munson by Savi_Yoi - Rated G
Fandom: Stranger Things
This idea was bouncing around my brain at 3am so I just had to write it down.
Eddie is a famous musician. Gaining fame through the 90s with Corroded Coffin. Him and Steve have been together since 1987, but they were always very private about their relationship. Steve is like a cryptid in the Corroded Coffin fandom, with very little information about him, and very few pictures. Eddie is promoting a solo album in 2021, and Steve is pulled on camera to do a silly interview with him. They're about 54/55 in this fic.
This is the transcript of that interview.
#veryace recs#fanfic recs#the martian#yuri!!! on ice#it 2017#haikyuu!!#dc#batman#good omens#9-1-1#leverage#stranger things#percy jackson
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Stay With Me - Colby Brock
When tagging along with the boys on a trip to London, you experience some crazy things when you’re alone in your room at the Langham Hotel.
@traphousedaily’s favorite snc series project with: @lonely-xplr, @sarcasmhadachild, @taradummy @reddesertcolbs, @reinad-snc, @cartiercolby, @colbylover99, @sunflowerwhoever, @xplrtrash, @goddess-of-time-and-magic, @xolbyz
A/N: This is my longest fic I have ever written, so if you like the longer fics, let me know! Also, this probably isn’t the best edited because I tried to get it out in a hurry so sorry about that haha
Warnings: some curse words; mentions of suicide, murder, and suffocation
Word Count: 4.6k+
--------------------------------------------------
“We’re going to England, brothas!” Sam shouted which was followed by excited squeals and scream from you, Jake, and Corey as Colby clapped beside you all. When you went to the party at Kian and Jc’s, you were not expecting your best friends to come up and surprise with such news. You giggled as you watched Corey prance around, saying “Oh my God” repeatedly, and Jake spew absolute nonsense of connecting Queen Elizabeth to Bloody Mary.
“Pack ya bags. We’re going to London, baby!” Sam spoke enthusiastically before covering the camera lens that Colby was holding with his hand. And from there, your crazy adventure with the boys began and you hand no idea what you were in for or how badly it would end.
...
After your suitcase was packed and you had your backpack on, you were ready to go to London. You were so excited to see a new place and considering you have never left the country, this was a whole new experience for you. After a ride in an uber and a plane, the five of you arrived in the capital of the United Kingdom.
“Are you guys gonna be safe driving on the opposite side of the road?” Jake questioned as we walked through the parking lot of cars.
“Oh,” Sam and Colby say together, though Colby’s ended with a ‘my God’.
“I didn’t even think about that,” Colby added as he walked backwards, facing the camera towards us.
“Look at the steering wheel, brotha!” Jake pointed to the steering wheel of a black car in front of you all and the wheel was in fact on the opposite side.
“Oh no! How are we gonna do this?” Colby questioned as we all looked at the car, thinking the same thing as the boy with reddened locks.
“I don’t know my right from my left,” Sam spoke in a horrid British accent that you could not help but laugh at.
“Alright, you’re gonna drive,” Colby told his counterpart as you playfully rolled your eyes.
“Okay,” the blond sighed in defeat.
“This isn’t looking good,” you spoke to the camera that Colby held as you two watched Sam try to pull out of the parking spot. He already nudged Jake with the car and then tried to turn right when you can only go left. After a bunch more tomfoolery from the group, you all finally moved your stuff into the car and got in as well.
“Alright boys so-” Colby started to explain what we were doing but was cut off by Corey clearing his throat.
“And girl,” he scolded as he nodded his head in the direction of you.
“No, Corey. Y/n is one of the boys,” Jake butted in.
“I don’t know if that’s a compliment or an insult,” you chuckled before turning your attention back to Colby so he could continue his explanation.
“Anyway, this is what we’re doing. We’re going to the Langham Hotel which is known as the most haunted hotel in the UK.”
“And also top ten in the whole world,” Sam added.
“Wait, are we going there or staying there?” Jake asked beside you. Your eyes followed from his to Colby’s to see his answer.
“Staying there.” Your eyes widened slightly as you looked at the two boys beside you. Corey giggled nervously and made jokes to hide his fear and you and Jake just laugh in disbelief.
“In our last series, The Origin, we talked to those guys like a demonologist and he says we’re a lot better at paranormal investigations than normal and he thinks we have a gift. So, this whole trip is trying to prove that our group is the best ghost hunters on YouTube and because of that, we are meeting with two paranormal experts who’ve been studying the paranormal and demonology for years and we’re doing an interview here in an hour,” Sam explained.
Jake appeared to be really excited to the right of you and on your left, Corey stayed quiet, which led you to believe he was kind of scared and trying to hide it. You felt a mix of both the emotions of the boys next to you. You were excited for the adventure like Jake was, but also a little scared like Corey since y’all were going to one of the most haunted hotels in the world.
...
“Hey, there it is,” Colby announced to you three in the back and the camera that he had pointed at the building before you guys.
“The Langham!” Sam shouted as he kept his eyes locked on the road, still trying to get used to driving on the other side of it. You all pulled up the hotel, got your bags, and headed inside in no time.
“So, we have a reservation under Golbach,” Colby started as he spoke to the man at the front desk.
“We put in a request. We don’t know if it was able to be fulfilled, but we’re trying to do room 333,” Sam asked the man in the grey suit, a maroon tie and handkerchief to compliment it. You and Corey shared a look after Sam mentioned the number 333, both knowing it did not sound good.
“Absolutely. You have been allocated in that room,” the front man told y’all and Colby turned to you three with an excited grin which you returned. The man at the front desk noticed your group’s excitement and smiled along with you.
“We heard online that room 333 was like haunted or something like that?” Sam mentioned, hoping to get some information from the clerk.
“Is this why you have the camera?” He grinned as he processed the transaction.
“A little bit, yeah,” Sam chuckled.
“There is the legend, yes,” he told you all as he focused on his work.
“Have you heard anything about that?” the blond pressed again.
“We can’t tell guests,” the clerk starts with a smile, but the grin soon drops as he nods his head. Something about the way he did that made you feel a bit uneasy.
“Do you believe in it personally?” Sam questioned as you all listened intently to what the man had to say.
“No. In one year that I’ve been here, I didn’t have any complaints and so on, but you can tell me. Just stay there with the camera, yeah?” he laughed as you all joined in, trying to relieve the awkward and weird tension.
...
“My name’s Sam. This is Colby, Y/n, Jake, and Corey. We’re filming for our channel, but these guys are always into it and woah.” Sam turned the camera to the large creak you all just heard coming from above him and Rosie, the lady you had just met who is a member of the ghost club. John, a guy from the council for the Society for Psychical Research, sat next to her. You sat on the couch nearest to him between Colby and Jake and Corey sat on the chair next to Sam across for you.
“We just rented out room 333. We haven’t even told them why that’s a significant number, but do you guys know much about room 333 here in the Langham Hotel?” Sam asked, filming the response from Rosie.
“Well, the story goes that a Victorian doctor spent the night in room 333 with his bride. It was his wedding night. Who knows the circumstances, but the story goes, he actually murdered his bride in room 333.” She pauses as y’all take in the information she had just given before she continues.
“So, fast forward now to 1973 and the journalist James Alexander Gordon was staying room 333 where he’s waking in the middle of the night and he said he saw a fluorescent ball of lights that slowly formed into the figure of a man, but there was something strange about this man. He was dressed in a full evening suit, very smart, but the bottom half, his legs, were actually missing. Now the journalist actually tried to speak with the figure, but the figure didn’t speak to him. He just walked towards with his arms open wide.”
“A famous cricketer, he was staying at the room and in the middle of the night, he was woken by the sound of taps turning on. He went into the bathroom. Water was gushing out through the tap.”
“Woah,” all of you say collectively as you think back on what happened to the boys previously. You didn’t go with them on that trip, but you heard the story several times and watched the video too. Sam fills in the woman in on the experience briefly before she can continue with her story.
“Anyway, he turned off the taps, went back to the bed, what he could hear was still the sound of running water, gushing out even though the taps were turned off.”
John nods along before speaking about a theory that ghosts are like a tape recording of traumatic experiences that just play over and over again. He explains that you can’t really interact with it because it’s always going on a loop. The theory piques the interest of the group to say the least.
...
After finishing the interview and exploring a bit of the beautiful town you were in, you all gathered around the camera as Sam gave some background on the hotel. He tells you all about a German prince who jumped from the building out the window and how the doctor from earlier killed his wife and himself afterwards, both stories happening in room 333.
Soon the camera is turned off and you all pile in the elevator to head to the third floor. The whole hotel has an unsettling vibe, especially with some weird and creepy paintings that are hung all around. There is a big one of a boy with creepy eyes right when y’all get off the elevator.
“Which way is room 333?” Corey asks a worker when y’all get to a hallway and do not know which way to turn.
“Oh… uh… room 333… it’s that way,” he speaks, dragging out each word and shuffling away in a weird fashion. You and Corey share a wide-eyed look before going to catch up with the rest of the group.
“This is the most haunted room in the most haunted hotel,” Colby tells the camera as he films Sam who is about to unlock the dreaded door. The key does not work on the first try or the second which scares you all, but thankfully, the third time’s a charm.
Sam pushes the door open to reveal the supposed haunted room. A bed sat in the center of it, a closet to the left and a desk to the right. Huge grey curtains covered the window and another door was next to it, which you assumed to be the bathroom.
“It smells like old people,” Jake mentioned. “You know what that means? That means its haunted, bitch.” You and Colby giggled at the beanie boy as Sam and Corey were off in the other corner of the room. Colby mentions how tiny the room is as Corey says how that one of us could be standing where someone got murdered.
“Oh, we got three rooms. There is no way we can all share this bed,” Colby mentioned.
“Where are the other rooms at?” Corey asked as he stuffed his hands into his new hoodie that he got earlier when we were going around the city.
“Just down the hall,” Colby told him.
“Oh, so still on the most haunted floor,” Corey rolls his eyes and nods, accepting the fact that something bad might happen tonight.
...
You all left room 333 and headed to 324 where Corey and Jake would be staying to check the room out. Your room was next door, 323, and looked remarkably similar to 324. After exploring the rooms, y’all take on the hotel in its entirety, passing more creepy paintings and experiencing a door closing behind you without anyone around it, several vortexes, handprints on mirrors, immediate temperature changes, strange noises, and so on. The thing that freaked you out the most was Sam getting random headaches as you explored.
Back in room 333, you guys sat on the bed and Sam explained all the new ghost hunting gadgets they got, from the EMF reader to the dowsing rods. Sam says that with the dowsing rods, you can find basically anything you want.
“Anything?” Colby questions as he picks up the rods.
“Alright, where’s my girlfriend?” he asks and both rods point to you almost immediately. A blush scatters on your cheeks as you laugh it off.
“See guys, even the rods think you two should get together,” Jake tells the camera. Colby ignores the awkwardness between you two as he asks Corey how to effectively use the rods.
Y’all decide to begin the investigation, starting with the EMF reader. Corey brings it close to the hangers that made a noise and it moves up one green light. It lights up to orange in a few places on the right side of the bathroom which freaks you all out and y’all decide to set the EMF reader up in the bathroom since it got the most activity. You all put together that the bathroom is the only spot in the room that has a vortex and that it is exponentially hotter than the bedroom.
While Sam and Colby messed around in the bathroom, you, Corey, and Jake stayed in the bedroom to see if anything would happen in there while the cameras weren’t running in there at the moment.
“If there’s anything in here, can you please make the bed shake?” Jake asked into the air above him, trying to get whatever was out there to make the bed shake like they did earlier. At the moment, he was laying on the left side and you were on the right. Corey was next to you in the desk chair. You guys waited a moment for any responses and then you got one.
“We’re here,” you heard the raspy low whisper come from the closet.
“Please tell you heard that too,” you begged as you sat up, pulling your knees to your chest to comfort yourself. Corey nodded profusely in the dim lighting as Jake audibly answered ‘yes’. Corey dashed to the bathroom door to tell the other two.
“Hey, you good?” Colby asked you quietly as the other boys discussed what happened. Your eyes left the trio before meeting the blue ones that gave you such peace. He had placed a comforting hand on your back, his thumb rubbing it to soothe your nerves.
“Yeah, just freaked out. This place has been giving me an uneasy feeling all day, but I’m good.” You smiled up at him and he gave you a grin right back, one big enough for those adorable little dimples to pop out.
“Bro, if you guys lay on the bed, you will feel something with you,” Jake told Sam and Colby. You stood off the bed, allowing Colby access to lay on it. He handed you the camera, which you handed to Corey because you were not the best them and your hands were slightly shaky.
“When I was laying with him, we could feel it shaking,” you told the duo as they sprawled out on the mattress.
“You should turn off the light,” Jake told Corey and he did. It was just you five in the room alone with the darkness and all who inhabit it.
“Do you guys feel the bed shaking at all?” Corey asked, his voice right next to you.
“Maybe, barely,” Colby’s voice sounded in front of you.
“If the German prince or the doctor that killed his wife is in here, please shake the bed,” Sam asked nicely of the spirits that are presumed to be in the room with you guys. After a moment of silence, a stunned ‘woah’ fell from Sam’s lips.
“What?” Corey questioned as you heard him fiddling with the camera. “What? Bro, I can’t find the light.” Sam grabbed the green light grid thing and turned it on to provide you all with some sort of light.
“I felt it go back and forth,” Sam told us all as he kept his eyes on Colby to see if he felt anything too.
“You felt it? I don’t know if I’m feeling anything,” Colby sounded a little disappointed like he wanted to feel what you, Jake, and Sam had felt.
“It literally rocked bro,” Jake told the camera and you nodded your head in agreement. You all hung out in the bedroom, trying to figure out the green light grid and how else you all wanted to go about the investigation when Corey got a text from his little brother, Cambrey.
“Are you okay?” you asked Corey as he stared wide-eyed at his phone screen. The other boys turned to look at Corey to see why you asked him such a question when y’all were just chilling at the moment.
“Uhh yeah, Cam just texted me this: Hey so I just saw your new video and at the end of it when you were talking about in the part where y’all kept saying save me and you were wondering like what you should do, I just wanted to let you know I went to a psychic lady and she told me that I have powers to send ghosts to the other side lol. All I have to say is you are free to go to the other side and it helps them go through. I know this sounds really stupid but ever since I talked to her, I’ve been seeing giant black figures in my room every night and when I sleep, it feels like someone’s watching me.”
“What the fuck?” Sam comments as you all share looks between you guys.
“Wanna know what’s even freakier? Cam is fourteen right now and I was fourteen when I first saw the shadowman.” ‘Woah’s fall from the group around him as we take in the information and process what we’ve been told because it seems so surreal. You all talk about how to deal with this. Corey feels guilty and responsible for Cambrey possibly seeing the shadowman. You try to comfort him, but the heavy feeling that he is dealing with is something that you can’t help that much.
“Maybe it might be good if we call it a night,” Sam suggests to the group as you nod your head. Things are a bit tense right now and maybe just getting settled into our own rooms and stopping the investigation for now could ease it some.
“Let’s set our alarms for three or something like that, but I think it’s good to take a break for a minute and like relax and we’ll come back to this in a minute.” And that is exactly what you guys did.
“Are you gonna be good by yourself, y/n?” Colby asked before you left their room with Jake and Corey.
“Yeah, I should be but I might call you so that if I hear something, you might hear it too and so I don’t go crazy,” you chuckled as he smiled at you, the grin making butterflies flutter around in your belly. He nodded before you turned around and went to your room.
A sense of relief flooded your body when you walked into the room. You were still very creeped out by the hotel and the fact that you were on the most haunted floor of the most haunted hotel in the most haunted country in the world. You were happy you were no longer in the most haunted room, but the things that were happening in there freaked you out.
You went to your suitcase and flipped through your clothes until you found something to sleep in. You had packed mainly warmer clothes for sleepwear, but since room 333 was so hot and you were still burning up from it, you grabbed the one pair of shorts you brought and a tank top. You grabbed a hair tie from your backpack and went to the mirror, throwing your hair into a ponytail. After you brushed your teeth and got your charger out, you settled into bed and shot Colby a text.
Y/n: can I call you?
Colby: of course
“Hello?” you asked as soon as you hear the ringing stop.
“Hey, are you okay?” His voice sounds so concerned and it makes you smile.
“Yes, Colby. I’m fine. Can you stay on the phone with me until I get tired?”
“Yeah, sure.”
It didn’t last long until you were about to conk out, so the two of you said your goodbyes and you placed your phone down on the bedside table. Just as you were about to fall asleep, you swore you felt the bed shake. You do not know why you said what you were about to, but you did.
“If there is anything there, can you make the bed shake again please?” A moment or two of silence passes before it does it again. The bed wobbles lightly beneath you.
“Okay so there’s something here,” you whisper to yourself. You try your best to shrug it off and go to sleep. You almost slip into a blissful sleep before you hear a whisper similar to the one from before.
“You’re not alone, y/n.” You immediately grabbed your phone to text Colby. You knew he would probably be in a deep sleep by now, but it was worth a shot.
Y/n: the bed shook in here
Y/n: and I asked it to do it again and it did
Y/n: then it whispered youre not alone y/n
After not seeing the bubble with three dots pop up, you decide to let your phone record audio while you sleep just to catch anything that might happen and set an alarm from three in the morning. Finally, you get to sleep.
You woke up with a jolt, a sweat on your forehead and the bed moving slightly beneath you.
“You’re not alone”
“We’re here”
“Come with us”
The whispers filled your head as you watched an outline of a guy appears in the hallway near your door.
“Colby,” you call out as you sit up and rub your eyes.
“Sam? Jake? Corey?” you continue but not a peep comes from the man as he inches towards your bed.
“Seriously guys. Cut it out,” you chuckle, but he keeps coming closer and closer until he is right beside you. You reach a hand out to try to touch him, but your hand falls through his misty form.
“Whoever you are, please leave. You aren’t welcome here,” you demand, but your voice falters at the end. You hear a loud maniacal laugh vibrate throughout your small room as the figure crawls on top of you.
His presence is suffocating enough, but when a hand comes up to your throat and clamps down, it becomes difficult to breath. You fear for your life as you try to pry the hands from your neck, but just like his body, you can’t grab onto them. Your fingers slip through his and there is nothing you can do about it. Tears seep out your eyes and black spots cloud your vision before all you can see is black.
“Y/n! Open the door! Y/n!” you hear the worried shouts of your friends. You look around and reach for the lamp to turn it on. Looking around, you see that you are safe. It was nothing but a bad dream. You hand flies to your throat and when you feel that there isn’t a misty hand closing in on it, a sigh of relief leaves your lips.
You sling the covers off your body and run to the door. When you open it, you are met with the concerned expressions and worried eyes of the four boys you loved most. Your tear-filled eyes meet the specific blues ones before you step forward and wrap your arms around his waist, hiding your face in his chest.
“Are you okay, y/n?” Sam asks as he places a hand on your shoulder. You flinch at his touch unintentionally before muttering a ‘sorry’.
“You were screaming,” Jake added as he met your eyes.
“Really?” you asked, but based on how scratchy your voice sounded, you could tell it was true. “What happened?”
“Sam and I went to Corey and Jake’s room because Corey called us, but we heard you screaming and rushed over here. What happened to you?” Colby asked calmly above your head.
“Did you get my texts from earlier?” Colby nodded at your question. “I had a nightmare and the same whispers I heard earlier, I heard in my dream. And then this figure came up to me and try to choke me to death. I saw black and then woke up to you guys banging on my door,” you finished as the tears came back and you went back to hiding in Colby’s chest. His hand rubbed up and down your back comfortingly as he looked around at the other guys, unsure of what to do.
“I don’t want to be alone anymore,” you muttered into his chest.
“You can come stay in our room,” you heard Corey offer.
“Or ours,” Sam suggested.
“Can you stay with me?” you asked the blue-eyed boy as you looked up at him.
“Yes. Sam, can I have the camera? I’ll start looking through the footage and you can go to sleep since you couldn’t earlier.” Sam handed him the camera that he had hanging by him side before the other three left to go back to their rooms.
“Was I really screaming?” You asked Colby as soon as you sat on the bed.
“Like you were being killed,” he told you. You grabbed your phone and began to listen to audio recording you started earlier. It is mainly quiet for the most part, just your soft breaths and sounds of you moving in your sleep. Then, you hear the whispers again.
“Listen to this!” you shout as you hand the phone to Colby. His eyes widen at the sound.
“That’s what I’ve been hearing.”
“That’s insane,” He told you as he handed the phone back to you. You get all the way to the end and do not hear any screams.
“There’s no screaming on this.”
“When did it end?” You check and the time that stares back at you freaks you out even more.
“3:33 a.m.”
“Here. Let’s put this away because you have been through a lot tonight and just chill out,” Colby suggested as he placed your phone down and pulled you closer to him. You settled yourself into his side and placed your head on his chest. He had one arm around you while the other laid on his stomach.
“I’m sorry we put you through this,” he muttered as he fiddled with the bottom of his shirt.
“No, it’s okay. I have had a lot of fun this trip and I don’t want it to end early because I had a bad dream. That’s all it was,” you tried to see the bright side of it all.
“That makes me feel better because I really do love you, y/n, and I’d hate to see you not come on another trip with us or stop hanging out with us because of this.”
“I love you too, Colby, and it’s gonna take a whole lot more than a bad dream to get rid of me,” you both chuckled as a comfortable silence fell over the both of you. You fell asleep in the safety of his arms and right there, you did not have another bad dream that night.
#colby#colby brock#cole robert brock#Sam and Colby#colby imagine#colby x reader#colby fanfic#colby fanfiction#fanfic#fanfiction#colby brock fanfic#colby brock fanfiction#colby brock imagine#colby brock x reader#y/n#xplr#traphouse#jake#jake webber#corey#corey scherer#sam#sam golbach#traphousedaily
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Red Queen Headcanons!
Part 3!!
I am not including Dorothy Must Die this time because I feel like I headcanoned the fuck out if that series, so I'm giving it a break of headcanoning for a post or two😊.
With that out of the way, ON WITH THE HEADCANONS!!!!
Maven used to scream and cry a lot in his sleep. Before Elara took that away from him, though, the sound would cause Cal to wake up and wake up his brother. This would result in the two staying up until sun rise, much to the annoyance of Tibe and Elara.
When Cal was brought back from the front, Tibe was both impressed and a little nervous that Cal was so calm the first few months. He did not know Cal had lined his room to be mostly sound proof, or that Cal would scream into his pillow after training because of the memories; Red or Silver, people still died and Cal saw it happen.
Elara tried to "fix" Cal like she tried "fixing" Maven once,but had Samson do the deed because like hell she was going downfor that. IT DID NOT GO WELL. She took one memory of him and he almost had a mental breakdown from trying to remember. Naturally, Tibe was absolutely pissed when he realized what happened. Samson gave the memory right back, not just out of respect for his cousin, but also because Tibe is scary when he needs to be.
Before the events of Red Queen, Cal actually had a snack drawer in his desk. It had some small sweets, and Cal only took a snack out maybe once or twice a month at most.
If YouTube were to exist during the time Red Queen takes place, Cal would most likely watch How Ridiculous, GrayStillPlays, Markiplier, and some Bobby Duke Arts. Maven would mostly watch ASMR channels, Buzzfeed Unsolved, and kiwami japan. Cal watches that last one, too because Maven got him into it. A guilty pleasure channel, or two, for them both is Jenna Marbles and Julien Solomita.
On his first day of training, Maven thoroughly got his ass handed to him. Multiple times. Once by Cal, but by a cocky strongarm the rest of the times. Cal dealt with him whenever Maven wasn't looking; you can have the strength of a hundred men, but have fun trying to maneuver yourself away from your slimmer opponent that can get you at a short and long range.
Cal hates swimming with a burning passion. If you go swimming at a pool, and you two are alone, he will only sit on the edge and let his legs soak, or only sun bathe. If you two are not alone, he will fake a smile and guve you the biggest, 'SAVE ME,' 'I HATE THIS,' and 'I'M GOING TO KILL YOU' eyes as he walks in the mostly shallow ends.
Maven can tolerate water and swimming SLIGHTLY better than Cal.
Cal wanted to.learn how to play the violin and piano, but a soldier's work on the front is never done.
Maven DESPISED being on the front. Mainly because it was impossible to sleep with the notion that he could die at any given second, regardless of the orders given to the other soldiers.
While Cal holds onto ALL of his scars, Maven only has one big scar on the side of his body. He only noticed when Cal pointed it out to him. Maven admitted he didn't know where it came from, but he did know that he only remembered being knocked down and something hit his ribs and he passed out. Only Elara knows the full story of that scar.
It took a while for Bree and Tramy to warm up to Cal. The time was absolutely worth it because the remaining two Barrow boys were the best friends Cal ever had, and that's including Kilorn.
Kilorn found a copy of The Outsiders. Cal and Mare found him crying the next week, and the answer he gave when they asked was, "Stay gold! How can anyone stay gold when someone so young died saving a bunch of children!? He just wanted to live a little!"
Cal, Kilorn, Bree, and Tramy made a bet once that whichever one of the electricons won in training, the loser who bet on his electricon had to get his chest, stomach, arms, and legs waxed. Unfortunately, the electricons had decided to tag team: Mare and Rafe vs. Tyton and Ella. The latter team won. Bree and Tramy had to carry Kilorn and Cal as the two were hiding and were terrified to get waxed. Kilorn shrieked like a little girl and Cal screamed after a few times. It was very funny for Gisa and Mare, but Cal almost kicked them both.
Cal and Maven have been there for each other emotionally in their darkest times. Cal grew to treasure those moments, after the events in the series.
Cal is an early bird and Mare is a night owl.
Cal tried to test the flashlights in the Scarlet Guard to see which was the most powerful. He didn't get far, as Mare had found him in the dark. This is the conversation they had when she "found" him:
"Cal?"
"... Yeah?"
"Where ARE you right now? I mean, in this room?"
"The corner a head of you."
"What are you doing?"
"Testing the flashlights, just in case something happens."
"(Laughs) You've got to be kidding."
"(Turns on a flash light, but has the light shining up at him with the flashlight under him, if that makes sense, so she can see him) I've never been more serious."
"Come out. You're going to ruin your eyes."
"(Turns the flashlight off) Just a few more, I'm almost done."
"Cal, let's go."
"... Fine."
Mare and Cal are both fans of The Office. The two constantly quote it and make each other laugh.
Whenever Mare is playfully mad, Cal just stands back and holds her forehead so she can't get any hits on him.
Mare and Can have a system: if he will carry her on his back, then she will rub his shoulders and back when he's sore. He rubs her back and shoulders as well, though he does have an easy time giving her piggyback rides.
Cal doesn't need glasses to see all the time just for when it's late and he's up reading something.
Do you remember Red School!Maven's hair? Red Quenn!Maven once grew his hair out that long. He only got the incentive to cut it shoter when Cal kept grabbing him by this long hair and kicking the crap out of him. Elara gave him shit for it, but it was a lesson well taught and learned.
Contrary to whatever Elara says, Tibe DID discipline Cal. She just never saw it happen, and whatever Cal did, he was sure he would never do it again, or get caught doing it. Th former worked better for him.
If you het Cal at the just right moment, he will become the giggliest bitch ever. His officers found this out during a formation drill, where there soldiers all had to stay in form until time was up or everyone dropped out. The officers told dirty jokes and brought in one of those screaming rubber chickens to help. Although Cal did not drop out, when time was up his soldier mask completely shattered when his officer said in the most serious tone in the world, "So these boys don't have lint for balls and balls for brains after all." Mixed with the rest of the jokes and the screaming chicken, Cal fell down and started crying from laughing so hard. He tried numerous times to calm down and it did not work. He eventually calmed down, but he still had some giggles through the rest of the day.
People don't like to be around Cal when he's in hunter mode. It's not that he gets arrogant, he gets really, REALLY SCARY. Like, if you try to tell him something, he will give you murder eyes. Whether or not he means it is up for debate, but, needless to say, he does not like distractions from his hunt.
Cal had a nickname when looking for/hunting and taking down spies: The Hellhound.
Being a good killer, Ptolemus also has a nickname: The Berserker Prince.
AND THESE ARE THE HEADCANONS!!!!!
These are a little more focused on Cal and Maven, but I like them a lot☺️
AND THEY BOTH DESERVE BETTER!!!!!😩😩
Anyway, thanks for reading this post, I had a fairly good time writing this
Stay safe, happy new year, and have a great day!!
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Mary’s Song: part 20a (2099 words) - I’ll shoot
• • • • • •
Jeon Jungkook wasn’t just your anime-loving, manga-drawing, hair-pulling, ex-neighbour. You hadn’t even spoken to him since he had moved away. But the world worked in funny ways because...
He was probably the reason you were still alive.
• • • • • •
“And our daddies used to joke about the two of us
Growing up and fallin' in love
And our mamas smiled, and rolled their eyes
And said, "Oh, my, my, my��”
• • • • • •
previous // current \\ next
masterlist
• • • • • •
Tags :
@minhyuksfatgf @igotarmyofarohas @dixonsbugaboo @thealexalcala @salty-for-suga @worshiphoseok @okaysoplshelpme @jeonlovers @acupfullofsuga @beach-bitch-bitch-beach @hannahdinse8 @jaiuneamesolitaiire @dammit-jjk @dreamcatcherjiah @xxxanimangxxx @wrmnssoul @ephyra1230 @imynnow @prdshobi
• • • • • •
i’m not sure when part 2 - unchained will start because i have a bunch of homework this week but i’ll try my best to get something out...
ALSO PLZ READ - WARNING - bc there is some violence in this. i did try to keep out as much graphic details that i could but it’s essentially what comes of some domestic abuse...so yeah, beware please!!
• • • • • •
Your dream last night made you realize that life might be too good to be true. You relived your day yesterday with Jungkook, convincing yourself that it could be like that every day. Jungkook was amazing, and you only wanted to let yourself trust him fully. It was hard. You knew that he only wanted to help, but you were still skeptical because of Nic.
Bun was worth it, you convinced yourself.
However in real life, you also convinced yourself that what you were going to do today would not be scary because you were protecting all the people that you’d grown to love. You didn’t regret running away from Nic, not in the slightest, but you did regret dragging all these amazing people into it. You should have just gone to your father in the first place.
When you opened your eyes to the sunlight streaming in through the window, you had tears in your eyes. You weren’t sure if they were happy tears or sad tears. Over the past week that Jungkook had officially been sleeping with you, you never got tired or seeing his face when you woke up. His face was peaceful as he slept. You especially liked the way his hair was wild like he’d been through a tornado.
Taking the opportunity, because it might have been your last, you brought your hand up to his face, palm lightly resting on his cheek. Your thumb lightly traced over his bottom lip as you touched his little mole. A small smile graced your lips when you saw his eyelids start to flutter, his hand coming over yours. You always thought that his eyes were always the most beautiful when the sun’s rays hit them. The scar on his cheek became prominent and you realized that he’d never told you how he got it, and that you had never asked. He blinked slowly, eyes still focusing, before he squinted, trying to get away from the bright rays.
He was finally able to open his eyes when he brought the hand that was on yours to cover the light. It only took him a second to realize the you were crying, if that’s what you wanted to call it.
He frowned, but you shook your head before he could say anything more. You hadn’t even meant for it to happen, but before you knew it, your lips were on his. You lingered for a few seconds, not knowing if you wanted to continue or pull away.
In the end, you decided to pull away, looking at his face for any kind of reaction. You weren’t sure why you had kissed him—did you like him or was it simply because there was a chance you’d never see him again after today?
“What was that for?” He asked, hand falling to your cheek.
You swallowed hard, taking a deep breath. However, it was his turn to stop you from answering. “You know what, it doesn’t matter…jus—just a little but more,” he whispered, kissing you again. He was so warm, and you felt yourself melt into him to be closer to it. You remembered your old feelings for him, and wondered how you would have felt if you were fifteen again. This wasn’t the first time you and Jungkook had kissed, but you knew that he didn’t remember it.
He was drunk and kissed you the night before he left for the city. You remembered it clearly because you’d wanted it to happen for years, and you were mad about it for a long time. But you hadn’t thought about it for years, until right now.
You let Jungkook’s arms wrap around you and bring you closer to him. Maybe both of you had gotten better at kissing over the years, but you definitely enjoyed this kiss more. He pushed you back into the pillows, a knee slipping between your legs.
When he kissed you, he was being gentle and playfully sucked your lips. Really, you couldn’t think of a better way to start the day, having long forgotten your tears.
But then there was a knock on the door, followed by Taehyung’s voice, “Jungkook, don’t forget your haircut in an hour…” It was a bummer, as it interrupted the moment, but it brought you back to reality.
Jungkook pulled back from you, turning his head to the side to yell back at Taehyung, “Ok, thanks…”
“Is Y/N awake?” Tae continued, clearly not wanting to leave them alone.
You cleared your throat and answered, “I am now.”
“Ok, babe, you’ll be okay on your own later? Chim and I are going to the studio because he’s convinced me to make a YouTube video with him!”
“Yep, I’ll be fine,” you easily lied, knowing full well that you weren’t going to be leaving after the three of them left.
“Perfect, you two! Coffee is in the pot!” The sound of Taehyung’s feet retreating made Jungkook look at you again.
He had a funny look on his face as he looked down at you and smiled. “We’ll talk later. I should get ready,” he whispered, hands still tight around your waist.
You nodded and looked at him, waiting for him to get off of you. He took a deep breath and finally pushed himself off, immediately walking to the door and leaving the room. Turning your head into the pillow beside you, you screamed.
What just happened?
• • • • • •
Jungkook got back to the apartment, ready to talk about what happened this morning, but when he unlocked the door, he felt like something was off. Yeontan was gone because Jimin and Tae took him, but your shoes were gone from the door.
Looking at the closet, he also saw that your jacket was gone. Jungkook walked to his room to see if you was there, but you weren’t there either.
Taking out his phone, he decided to call you. Maybe after yesterday, you’d decided that you could get out and go for a walk? He heard the ringing of your phone from the kitchen, so he went out again to check. And there it was, your phone on the kitchen table.
It was then that it clicked that all your things were gone from the bedroom. Running back, he checked the dresser that he had given you, and he was right—everything was gone.
He knew he needed to stay calm, so he sat on the bed and decided to text the group. His hands were shaking as he tried to coherently form his message.
does anyone know where honey is? all her things are gone.
Jungkook wasn’t prepared for Jin to be the one to answer. He told Jungkook that she sent him, Cherry and Jade an address and said that if she was ever missing, that she would be there.
tell me the address. and call the police because i’m going there right now.
Yoongi told him not to be hasty and that he couldn’t go alone, but Jungkook wasn’t going to listen. He had a gut feeling that you had gone back to Nic. It had to be why you were crying this morning—he remembered how distracted he’d gotten by you.
God, after this morning, he thought everything was going to be so different. He hadn’t realized how much he liked you until you came back into his life. Everything from your childhood together came back to him when you first called.
He absolutely had never allowed himself to fall in love with anyone because he was still hung up, and probably, waiting for you to come back at claim what was yours.
But now, as he ran down the street, trying to find a cab, he couldn’t believe that you’d left him to go back to Nic.
• • • • • •
The address turned out to be at a plain apartment building. He checked out the number again to make sure he was at the right place before dashing up the stairs to the correct room. Instead of knocking, because that would be stupid, he decided to check to see if the door was unlocked.
It was.
So, as quietly as possible he slipped inside, taking caution to tiptoe and keep his eyes and ears peeled. He heard a voice coming from a room down the hall, and he paused, trying to hear what was being said.
“You were late coming here today, Y/N. I would have let it slide, but I know what you got up to yesterday,” the voice was menacing, dripping with a sort of controlling possession.
A reply simply came in quiet, moan-like sounds from the person he was talking to.
“But!” The man’s voice continued, sounding slightly more optimistic, “after tonight, I’ll forget about everything, and we can go back to being the Nic and Y/N that everyone know and love. We were always so good together…”
Jungkook couldn’t stand it anymore. He stepped into the room to see what was going on. The only thing that he was able to focus on was you on the bed, there was a gash on your head and you were looking at Nic with extremely hooded eyes. Basically, you looked drugged and beaten up.
And he was not okay it.
“What the fuck are you doing?” Jungkook finally spoke, making Nic turn around. You barely moved.
When Jungkook finally got a good look at Nic, he was surprised to see him smile. “Ah, you look exactly like the guy from the internet.”
“You have no idea who I am, do you?” Jungkook challenged, fists clenching with every word. Just seeing Nic’s face was making him mad. Of course, he was trying to buy some time for the policemen to get there, but he felt himself slowly getting more mad by the second. Your figure was still on his mind. You were helpless right now, and it was all because he had gone to get a haircut.
“It doesn’t really matter, now does it? My girlfriend is back with me, and sh—”
Jungkook couldn’t handle it any longer. He didn’t even realize it, but his first made contact with Nic’s face before the sick bastard could even finish his sentence. But Jungkook wasn’t stupid; he knew that Nic could take a punch. Hell, he was trained for it.
However, what Jungkook didn’t expect was for Nic to pull out a gun when Jungkook tried to hit him a second time.
The gun was surprisingly pointed at you instead of Jungkook. His breath hitched when Nic spoke again, “You touch me again, and I’ll shoot.”
When Jungkook simply stood there, figuring out how he could grab the gun, he realized he should have paid more attention to anything that could have showed him how to protect himself and others.
Nic continued talking, “But I think you really do need to tell me, how was it that you were able to draw a character that looked exactly like Y/N?”
If he would have just let Jungkook speak earlier, it would have been fine.
But neither of the two were able to say any more because the policemen finally showed up. They each pointed their own guns at Nic, and he faltered a little. It was enough for Jungkook to leap forward and grab the barrel of the gun. No after what happened, Nic wouldn’t be able to shoot then.
What happened next with Nic was a blur to Jungkook because he just went to you. You were completely unconscious at this point, and now that he was closer to you, he saw more of what Nic did. The gash on your forehead bled down into your eye and down your temple. There was a cut on your lip, maybe from getting hit. Bruises were present on your neck and arms (and probably other places he wouldn’t be able to see). Lastly, your clothes—he didn’t even want to think about why there were some rips.
He collapsed onto the bed beside you and tried his hardest to hold his tears back. “Honey, please wake up,” he sobbed, tears filling his eyes. He literally didn’t want to touch. You already seemed so vulnerable in this situation, and he wouldn’t do anything to injure you even more.
The only thing he wanted to do when he saw the EMT come in and take you was to call Yoongi and cry to him, but just didn’t have the time because he had to tell his whole side of the story. And there was no way he wasn’t staying by your side as they took you to the hospital.
#mary's song sm au#bts au#bts#bts social au#bts social media au#bts smau#bts series#bts fic#bts fanfic#bts fake chat#bts fake texts#bts imagine#bts scenario#bts jungkook#bts x you#bts x reader#jeon jungkook#jungkook au#jungkook smau#jungkook social au#jungkook social media au#jungkook fic#jungkook fanfic#jungkook series#jungkook fake texts#jungkook fake chat#jungkook imagine#jungkook scenario#jungkook x you#jungkook x reader
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The Mystery of Castiel
Dean sets out to prove that his husband, Castiel, is an acual angel walking amongst man. He tries to convince his friends with his documentary. much to the confusion and amusement of fans.
Part of the Famous Husband verse, which is also a series)
On AO3.
Ships: Destiel
Warnings: None, but I’ll be happy to tag something for you, no questions asked! :)
~~~~~~~~~~
The video opened with a grainy and moving shot of a dark hallway with lights spilling out of a doorway at the end. From behind the camera Dean whispered: “I think there’s something in my house. It feels ancient, powerful. So, I’m checking it out.”
He was close to the doorway and he took a deep breath before rounding the last corner, finally showing the kitchen.
Standing at the kitchen counter was Cas, he was in his pajamas and looked like a dear in headlights when he heard Dean enter. In his hands he held a cereal box from which he was eating dry cereal. The digital clock beside him displayed the time, 03:07. His voice was gruff from sleep as he hurriedly said: “It’s not what it looks like.”
Dean screamed, then his intro rolled. It was a drawn impala that came down the road, it stopped in the middle of the screen and the drawn Dean gave a wink to the viewers, then he sped off again and the smoke was bridge back to the video.
The backdrop was out of focus, but you could make out a bunch of red string and vague pictures. Dean was sitting in front of it, his hair was disheveled and he had dark bruises under his eyes. Of course, the viewers didn’t have to know that was thanks to Jessica's make up skills. He rubbed his forehead and said: “I can’t do this anymore.”
He sighed deeply and went on: “I love my husband, I do. He is my everything, but the elephant in the room hasn’t been discussed seriously and it’s eating me up. I don’t know how to start talking about it without him turning it into a joke. Which is why I am making this video, I want your opinions and tips on how to handle this or just for you tell me if I’m acting crazy. Because I really need someone to tell me what to do.”
He was now looking straight into the camera as he said: “I think Cas is either an angel or some sort of cryptid. He’s just not human that’s all I know, okay. He has to be immortal, not of this world. I mentioned this before, but no one takes me seriously.”
The video changed and a time line came into view, while Dean did a voice over: “I met Cas in September of 2010. According to him he is born in 1990, so he should be 30, if all of this is correct and he has aged just like a human would.”
A dot appeared on the line and 2013 came above it. Dean said: “I started my YouTube channel in 2013, Cas claims to have been 23 at this time and I have footage of him in one of my videos.”
A clip played of Dean telling the camera he was going to try and drink three liters of soda in one go with no break in between. In the background a man walked past.
“I now see that that might not have been the best clip, so here is a picture as well.” Deans voice was heard as a photo of a young Dean and Cas appeared. They were sitting next to each other on the beach. Dean had a beer in his hand and cheered to the camera while Cas did a peace sign in the background, bee sunglasses firmly on his face.
“To compare this to now, here is a picture Sam took of us last week.” Dean said and another photo appeared beside it. This one was taken on the couch the viewers knew so well from live streams. Dean and Cas were sitting next to each other in this picture as well, they had a blanket thrown over their legs and a bowl of popcorn on their laps. Dean was kissing Cas’s cheek while he flipped of Sam, aka the camera.
“He appears to have aged normally, although he is still dashingly handsome, if I might say so. Not the point. Anyway, since he has aged so normally most people don’t believe me, but I’m going to prove it.”, the photo’s faded and the Dean from earlier reappeared.
“I’ve been awake for days now, trying to find all the evidence I could, just to try and convince someone out there, to hear a voice back saying that I am not going crazy.” Dean said, “I am married to an immortal non-human, an angel in the biblical sense, and I need to tell someone.”
He picked up a manila folder, and opened it. He started: “Okay, so the first thing I have is his family. He grew up extremely Christian, or so he says, but I think he’s hiding behind a facade of biblical households to hide the fact that he is an angel himself and therefor witnessed everything that happened within the Bible.”
Dean chuckled: “He’s not even subtle about it. I mean, seriously. His name is also the name of an angel, Castiel the angel of Thursday. And he has eleven siblings, which makes a total of twelve children, like twelve as in the amount of apostles Jesus had and they also all have biblical names. His brothers are Gabriel, Micheal, Raphael etcetera. He even has a brother named Lucifer that apparently no one talks to anymore, because he defied their father and is now in prison or something. That’s not a good cover story. That’s the Bible retold, but then bad.”
Cas and Dean had discussed what Dean would say about Castiels family beforehand and they had decided that this was enough. No reason to get into more detail about it. This was supposed to be funny and dumb, not revealing and sad.
“What shoots a hole in this, according to Sam is that we have pictures of him from when he was a child.” Dean said and a picture of a toddler Cas with big blue eyes and a small frown already on his face was shown, before Dean went on: “I think that Sam is wrong. If you’re a powerful entity, you can make fake pictures of a baby-you that has never existed. But I will let you draw your own conclusions about that.”
“Coming back to an earlier point,” Dean went on, “his History knowledge. This is also weird, since he knows everything about History, in particular thing about long long ago. Which as he points out is because he studied History. And that’s fair, but it’s weird.”
He rubbed his face again and groaned in frustration: “Ugh, just let me, let me put this into words better.”
“If you studied History, you know History and that’s just how it is. But what you don’t know is suddenly everything about the ancient times, no matter how much you specialized on it, which I know he hasn’t since he teaches History and you need to know more than just one period in order to do that.” Dean said, “We all on the same page?”
There was a silence, like he was waiting for a response. He acted like he got it: “Good, so why- how can he know everything in excruciating detail about that period? And he knows it like he’s been there and he has an abnormal amount of space in his brain for memories.”
A clip played of Cas, Dean behind the camera. They were on vacation, probably, and standing in a church. Dean said: “Can you repeat what you just said, sunshine?”
Cas looked over, saw the camera and shot it a tired look. He rolled his eyes and pointed at a picture of Jesus: “I said that this Jesus isn’t very realistic, because he isn’t smiling. Well, he has a smile, but it’s like this weird serene one. He was young when he was crucified. You really think a twenty-year-old had any patience or chill? I think not. He had a big happy smile,” then hastily, “probably. I think, at least.”
Disheveled Dean reappeared and said: “Tell me that is not fricking suspicious. And that’s just the one I captured on camera. He’s always commenting stuff like that.” his eyes lit up and he snapped his finger as he said: “Like, like he did in the Q&A video we did!”
The clip played of Castiel talking about the Tower of Babel.
“I mean come on. He talked about it like he knew how it had suddenly turned, because he had been there. I know what you’re thinking, it’s a story that gets told to Catholic children. And you’d be right, it is a biblical story. Yet, Mr. History talked about it like it is something that happened, even though it hasn’t been proven.” Dean explained, “And then he tried to cover it up, by saying how it would be an opportunity to find out. Good cover story, angel, but not happening.”
“And don’t get me started on his lack of pop-culture knowledge.” Dean went on, “I mean, I got him a phone. His first phone ever, for his 21st birthday. No one should get their first phone in 2011.”
A picture of Cas came on screen. He was holding up a phone, but it was all wrong. He held in with his pointer finger and thumb, a thumb that was in the middle of the screen, and he looked at it with confusion written all over his face.
“He also knew nothing about movies.” Dean appeared again, “I had to show him everything. And I mean everything. No Disney, no Star Wars, no Lord of the Rings, no Friends, no Indiana Jones, no horror movies, nothing. Almost like he had been away from earth while all of it was made and only popped down recently, which reconnects to my previous point about the specific History knowledge.”
“Another thing is his social skills.” Dean moved on to his last point, “He had no clue how to interact with people when I first met him and when I asked about it he claimed his ‘people skills were rusty’, like he used to have them, but they had faded over time. Which would be impossible, because at that age you either don’t have them or you do, you cannot have forgotten entirely.”
The screen went black again and a list appeared: “So we now have four strange things about him.”
1. Youth and Family
“His youth is filled with weird biblical details that are so accurate or strange that it couldn’t have been a coincidence.”
2. History Knowledge
“Despite his study, this is still weird and suspicious, but I feel like the evidence I showed speaks for itself.”
3. Lack of Pop-culture Knowledge
“This could also be his sheltered upbringing, but he was already out in the real world for two years when I met him, so why he had never encountered any of it is a mystery. With, in my eyes, an easy explanation.”
4. Lack of Social Skills
“Again this could be his upbringing, sure, but even then. If he isn’t lying about his family that is eleven children and parents along with an entire church to communicate with. You still pick up stuff like personal space.”
Dean appeared again and said: “I’ve laid out this evidence to some of my friends, this were their reactions.”
It cut to Sam sitting on a chair, looking like he’d rather be anywhere else. Sam asked: “Do we really have to do this, Dean?”
“Yes,” Deans voice came from behind the camera, “just hear me out, okay. I get that you didn’t want to listen before, but I have evidence now.”
Sam sighed.
It cut again to Sam shaking his head and saying: “I don’t know, why you’re so invested in this. All of this has a rational explanation, you can see that too.”
“But the family thing is weird, right. It’s so suspiciously correct that has to be fake that just can’t be coincidence.” Dean protested.
“Actually,” Sam replied, “humans have a weird sense of perception about coincidence. So much happens at one moment in the world that something strange or usual is bound to happen, we classify that as coincidence, but it’s just statistics, Math. It’s very interest-”
“Yeah, whatever, nerd.” Dean interrupted, “So, you don’t believe me.”
“No, Dean. I don’t.” Sam told him, “Can I go now?”
“Yeah.” Dean sighed, before it cut to Charlie sitting in the same chair.
Dean asked her: “So do you know why you’re here?”
Charlie nodded: “Yes and I am willing to hear you out.”
“You are?” Dean said, excitement seeping into his voice.
Charlie nodded, then it cut to her reading the final notes in the folder. She bit her lip and said: “I don’t know, Dean. Some off this is pretty suspicious, but I wouldn’t call it evidence of Cas being an angel or other immortal. I mean, the church can be weird.”
“But the History thing is definitely suspicious, right? I’m not being crazy about that?” Dean asked
Charlie answered: “Well, it wouldn’t surprise me, if he had developed a special interest in ancient Christian history while growing up and if he used to be a heavy believer then I suspect he must have thought a lot about how Jesus must have been and stuff.”
Dean huffed, but didn’t respond.
There was a shaky video of Ellen saying: “Dean, I have a bar to run, I don’t have time for your bullshit.”
But then Jo was in the chair and she said: “Dean, I love you and all, but I’m not doing this.”
“Please, just hear me out.” Deans voice was tired and it cracked, Jo relented.
In the end she said: “This is all strange, sure. I might have believed a bit of it, if I hadn’t known Cas. I mean, come on. He’s a dork and a teacher. He loves you, Dean. Don’t ruin that over something stupid.”
A sigh was heard.
After that it was Bobby, who was sitting on the chair. He didn’t look all that pleased. Most knew Bobby from Deans series about Baby where he would sometimes help or appear in the background and stories about Deans childhood.
Dean said: “Bobby, you know me, right?”
“I’d hope so, boy. I practically raised you.” Bobby replied.
“Exactly,” Dean said, “so you know, I’m not one to make random claims about this.”
“I do.” Bobby sighed, clearly not liking where this was going.
“Great.” Dean exclaimed happily, “Because I have collected a bunch of evidence and I want your opinion on it.”
It cut to Bobby rubbing his forehead while he read the last bits of evidence. He looked up and said: “I think you’re grasping at straws, right now. There are more logical solutions than this, but you’re ignoring ‘em, because you want to see this.”
Significantly sadder than before Dean responded: “So you don’t believe me either?”
“No, of course not, you idjit.” Bobby replied, “I walked Cas down the isle, I think I know the damn guy. He’s not some immortal. And don’t go bothering Jody about this either, you hear me.”
Then it cut back to the disheveled Dean, who said: “As you can see they still weren’t ready to listen to me. So I turned to my last resort, Gabriel. Castiels older brother.”
Gabriel was lounging in the chair, smirk playing on his lips and lollipop in hand. He smiled: “Dean-o, it this what it’s come to? Crawling to me?”
Dean sighed from behind the camera and said: “It was either you or Michael, you’re the least worst option.”
“Ahw, you flatter me.” Gabriel said with a wink, then he asked: “So, what is this all about?”
Dean answered: “I’m trying to prove that Cas is an angel, or an other sort immortal, but main theory is angel. I figured you were the best bet to get to the truth.”
The moment the word ‘angel’ left Deans lips, Gabriels face fell although he quickly tried to cover it up. He tried to laugh it off: “You’re being ridiculous. Little Cassie is a nerd, sure, but immortal. Sorry, but that’s hysterical. Besides, how else would you explain me, or the other people at the wedding?”
“I don’t know, other angels? Actors? Lot of possibilities. Maybe it was mind control.” Dean replied.
Gabriel laughed and shook his head, but when he looked up his face was completely serious as he said: “Stop searching, Dean. You won’t find anything, just love your husband in peace and live a long and happy life, okay.”
Dean swallowed thickly and shakily said: “Okay.”
Then it cut back to Dean from before, who said: “As you can see, he wasn’t very helpful. Although he did kind of scare me, the guy nearly threatened me, but he also made Cas more suspicious. He’s hiding something, I can feel it.”
“Anyway, none of my outside resources were helpful, so it’s time to look at our subject himself, Cas.” Dean said and the screen warped to a vlog.
It was filmed in such a way that it was obvious that Dean was trying to be stealthy. It showed Castiel doing the dishes, after a second Dean asked: “Why don’t you use the dishwasher, sunshine?”
Cas looked around and shrugged: “I don’t trust it, Dean. Machinery doesn’t seem to like me and I have not come to an agreement with the dishwasher yet, maybe later.”
Dean laughed: “The dishwasher is not a businessman, Cas. Here I’ll load it in.”
Then it changed to the living room, specifically the couch. It was a solid couch, easily a 1000 pounds. Dean yelled: “Caaaaas!”
From the distance came: “What is it, Dean?”, along with footsteps.
“I dropped my phone and accidentally kicked it under the couch. Can you help me?” Dean answered.
Cas looked at the couch and nodded. First he tried to fit his hand under and swipe the phone out from underneath it, but when that didn’t work, he grabbed the underside of the couch and lifted it as he told Dean to grab his phone, which he did.
Dean smirked at him and said: “Wow, Cas, very sexy. Have you been going to the gym lately?”
He only got an eyeroll in return along with a quick kiss, before Cas disappeared.
What the viewers didn’t get to see was the small carjack that had been carefully edited out, along with Sam, who had operated it.
Then it was Dean running up to Cas, yelling: “Smile, angel!”
Castiel turned to him like a deer in headlights and blinked heavily when the flash nearly blinded him. What was peculiar about this moment was the fact that his eyes seemed to glow an intense light blue, almost as if he was illuminated from the inside, which had been an easy edit, but it looked very cool, if Dean was being honest.
After that Dean said: “I showed these clips, along with a few others that are, admittedly, less convincing to my friends.” followed by a quick compilation of Sam, Charlie, Jo and Bobby shaking their heads and telling him he was an idiot or other variations thereof, “As you can see, they were still unconvinced.” Dean finished.
“They were unconvinced, what I have set out to do isn’t achieved. They aren’t listening and they aren’t seeing the truth. I know what I see, I know what Cas is. And they are just blind for the truth.” Dean told the audience, “So, I’m trusting you to open your eyes and see what is out there. Please, look at this and see the truth.”
Then it went to the endcard. Dean waved and said: “That was it for today. I hope you can support me and tell me that I’m not crazy. If you do, comment about it, like this video, share it to get the word out. Maybe subscribe and ring that bell, so you won’t miss out on any updates about it. Bye Hunters, see you on the-”
He was cut of by the slam of a door. He startled and looked over, but before he could get over the shock the lights overhead exploded and the room went dark. You could hear the heavy and angry voice of Castiel, who bellowed: “Dean Winchester, you have not listened to the warning Gabriel gave you. Your time has come.”
Then the video ended.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Oh my god is he okay?!!!?!?!?!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Pff anyone who believes this
shit is an idiot
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I know this is probably fake,
but I’m scared now
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Don’t lie, who’s been a fan of
Dean since day one?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Okay, but are we gonna talk
about Gabriel???
No?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
You’re not crazy Dean. I once
saw a ghost. The supernatural
is out there and Castiel can be
who you say he is. We don’t
know what the paranormal has
in store for us. Keep believing,
keep fighting!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Dudes, if he had time to edit and
upload it then he’s prbbly fine
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Should we call the police??
Is he ok???
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Dean be looking like a raccoon
and still be hella fine
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Cass talking about Jesus is such
a mood, my Christian ass can
relate
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
IS HE DEAD?? DID DEAN JUST DIE!!! HELLO??? ANSWERS PLEASE!!!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Really? After all the sweet and
loving Cas content we got, we’re
supposed to believe this??
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Get yo self a man whos willing
to make a fake docu bout you
pretending to believe youre an
actual angel
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
~
Dean was grinning as he scrolled through the comments on his latest videos. He was quite proud of it honestly and was very happy with how it had turned out and the reaction of the fans. Cas saw him smiling and asked: “So I take it, it went well.”
Looking up Dean said: “Yeah, you might have to answer some questions tomorrow, if you want those kids to trust you after ‘murdering me’.”
Cas groaned, but couldn’t suppress the smile and fond eyeroll.
Then the phone rang, Dean looked at the screen with surprise, but smiled when he saw who was calling. It was Sam, the picture of him sleeping with a plastic spoon in his mouth lighting up the screen. He picked up: “Heya, Sammy.”
Sam answered: “Dean, come save me.”
“What is it?” Dean asked, serious brother mode instantly activated.
But it was lost with Sams answer: “I know you’re trying to sell the whole ‘I got murdered by my own husband who is an angel’-stick, but you’re fans are worried and mobbing me on Twitter demanding answers.”
Dean laughed and relayed what Sam had said to Cas, who also chuckled. Then Dean turned back and said: “I’ll do something about it.”
“Somehow that’s not very comforting.” Sam said.
“Don’t worry about it, Sammy.”
“That isn’t helping.”
“I said don’t worry about it.”
“Dean? … Dean! … Dean!”
Dean hung up and turned to Cas as he asked: “Would you mind filming me?”
An hour later a video was posted on Deans Twitter and Instagram. It was off Cas walking into the living room, where an unharmed Dean was sat on the couch. Cas said: “Hello, Dean.”
Dean looked his way and smiled: “Hey, angel. What’s up? Why are you filming?”
Cas replied: “Some off your fans were worried about you after your last video, so I’m showing them you’re okay.”
Dean frowned and asked: “Why would they worry about me? It was just a dumb video doing Just Dance, not flattering, but hardly worrisome.”
“Don’t you remember your funny little video about me and some conspiracy?” Castiel asked, way too innocently.
Dean frown deepened and he looked confused and he said: “What are you even talking about?”
“Nothing, it was all just silly. Don’t worry about okay?” Cas answered, still holding onto that innocent voice.
Dean smiled at him and said: “Whatever you say, sunshine.”
Then it was over, needless to say that fans weren’t reassured, neither were the kids at school the next day, when Cas pretended he had no idea what they were talking about and shut them down the moment they tried to show him the video on their phones.
@Deanmustbeprotected posted about it on their Insta and multiple conspiracies were posted on every platform.
Dean and Cas along with everyone they’d gotten involved watched from the sidelines with amusement. Mission accomplished!
#RR writing#dean winchester#castiel/dean#sam and dean#dean x castiel#castiel#Destiel#Destiel AU#married destiel#destiel youtuber au#youtuber dean#youtube#charlie bradbury#bobby singer#jo harvelle#TEACHER CAS
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Hi guys, this is special moodboard because there’s a story attached to it. It’s @lace-maze fault because she mentioned Soulmate AU and I immediately had an idea for a story.
It’s Schneeplebro (Henrik x Chase) and it’s Soulmate AU where the first thing they say to you is written on your body (in their handwriting).
@pistachio-lan @murder-schmurder - Tagging you two because I think you might like it 😉
Also… Thank you, Lace for being my beta reader and helping me with the right words and stuff 💕💕
Now… without further ado, let’s begin.
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“Well hello there, handsome.”
That was written on Henrik’s forearm in messy handwriting and when he was old enough to understand it, he liked the idea that his soulmate would think he’s handsome. It was something he looked for when he had a bad day or when he freaked out because of exams.
However, as time went by, he realized that finding his soulmate would be almost impossible. A lot of people ended up never finding their soulmate. At best, it took years and years to finally find them. Henrik didn’t have that luxury; with him trying to get his PhD, he was glad to find time to just sleep and eat. The sentence on his hand became what it always was, just a sentence. He knew it was there but he just ignored it and two years later, he met Lydia. They met in the library and found that they had a lot in common, so they decided to go on a date. They both pretended that their soulmate wasn’t waiting somewhere in the world for them, because they had each other, and that was enough. It was enough to get married and have two children and Henrik knew that they were happy.
But then, Lydia found her soulmate.
It was a tennis instructor named Rick, someone so obviously Lydia’s other half. Henrik couldn’t even be angry at her. Not when he could see she was happy, far happier that she had been with him.
Henrik was jealous. The last time he cried was the day their daughter was born, but he couldn’t help crying again now. Lydia tried to comfort him. She put her hand on his shoulder and with a gentle smile told him she believed he would find his soulmate too. It was bittersweet, but he was grateful that at least for a while she was his wife.
Once he calmed down, they decided what to do next. They sat down with James and Freddie and explained what had happened and what’s going to happen now. They already knew about soulmates, because he and Lydia had already talked to them about it, but they still had a lot of questions.
Both of them answered patiently and assured the kids that they still loved them and that none of this was their fault.
Divorce was fast after that and because Henrik himself didn’t need such a large house, he moved away. He found a small apartment that was enough, but of course there was an extra room for his kids. He was able to see them almost every weekend or when he had time off, and for which he was very happy and always pleased with the smile the kids gave him when he showed up.
Unfortunately, three years passed and he was still alone. He had assumed it, but he still hoped that maybe… maybe his soulmate would show up after all
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One day, when Henrik had the kids with him again, he didn’t know what they could do, but his children came up with an idea. From what they were saying, Henrik understood that they were watching a man on YouTube who had a channel named Bro Average and that he was doing a variety of videos, including skateboard tricks. Apparently, there would be a show in their town that day where different people show their tricks and one of them should be the man. If the doctor remembered correctly, they said his name was Chase. They begged him to go and see him. What kind of father would Henrik be if he said no?
So right there Henrik was. He watched a bunch of teenagers and adults trying to break their neck in a cool way and he hated it. Well… it was impressive… that much he could say, but still… he saw the fractures and injuries that could have happened and he didn’t like it. But he also saw James and Freddie’s enthusiastic expressions, so he kept quiet.
Then, as soon as the man with bright green hair showed up on the ramp, his children and other people began to scream. He couldn’t be much younger than Henrik, wearing black jeans and a loose gray shirt. Henrik admitted to himself that the man was really cute, and with that smile and energetic appearance he understood why his children were watching him. He was introduced as Chase Brody and he gave the audience a wave. Then hopped on the skateboard and the show began. He was really good and the audience cheered and screamed his name until something happened. Henrik didn’t see what caused it, he only saw as the man fell down from a really high ramp and bumped his head. Someone screamed in horror and people ran to him.
Henrik knew subconsciously that they had it under control, but the doctor in him did not, so he jumped over the railing with a cry that he’s a doctor and ran to the injured man. Nobody tried to stop him, so he knelt beside the green haired man and examined him thoroughly. There was no blood and the man groaned in pain but opened his bright blue eyes, immediately fixating them on the doctor. For a moment Brody just looked at Henrik with a blank expression but then he smiled.
“Well hello there, handsome.” Said the green-haired man, and Henrik just shook his head. It seemed that Mr. Brody was perfectly fine if he was trying to flirt with him.
“I think you have a slight concussion but thank you” Henrik replied and helped Brody sit up. He wanted to look more closely at his head to make sure everything was all right. But then he realized what Brody had said.
“You just… you said my sentence.” He said in shock, staring into those bright blue eyes.
“And you said mine.” Brody smiled even more than before. “It’s nice to finally meet you, handsome soulmate.” He said.
“I… uh… I should take you to the hospital to… to make sure your head is okay.” The doctor said, his cheeks slightly pink.
“Nah… it’s fine. This isn’t my first rodeo. How about some tea instead? Or coffee. I don’t mind either. By the way… I’m Chase. Chase Brody.” The green haired man introduced himself.
“I’m Henrik but… I can’t right now. I have my kids with me because they wanted to see you. They’re your fans” He gestured toward where his kids stood. Chase glanced in that direction and waved as soon as he spotted them.
“That’s cool and we can take them with us. I also have children around the same age, so I know how to handle them.” Chase smiled again. Henrik was absolutely mesmerized by his blue eyes and smile. He was a really beautiful man and he really wanted to know more about him. That was why he agreed with what Chase had suggested.
They left the skatepark and, of course, picked up Henrik’s children, who were absolutely thrilled that their dad was a soulmate of their favorite YouTuber. They went to a café that was nearby and ordered tea for the kids and Chase, while Henrik ordered coffee.
While they waited for their ored, Freddie and James bombarded Chase with question after question, covering for their father’s nervous and excited silence. Thankfully, Chase just laughed and answered each one with all the patience of a good father. Henrik couldn’t help smiling as he watched, relieved that the three of them were getting along so naturally. He hoped Chase’s kids would like him just as much.
They were interrupted only when the waitress brought them their order, but as soon as they thanked her, they started to debate again. When Freddie and James were satisfied, they finally let their father ask questions. But Henrik was not like his eager children, and he let Chase ask what he wanted to know, so they took turns.
But after some time, Henrik had to excuse himself.
“I’ll be right back, just going to the bathroom.” He said, got up from the table and went to the toilet.
The doctor wasn’t gone too long, but when he was coming back to the table, he heard his son talking to Chase in a serious voice.
“You’re our favorite YouTuber and you’re cool but if you hurt our dad, you’re gonna pay for it.” James said and Freddie nodded in agreement. Henrik had no idea how to react. He wanted to scold them that they can’t talk to people like that, but he was also deeply touched that they care for him so much.
“Don’t worry, dudes. I would never want to hurt your dad. He’s my soulmate…” Chase starts answering, then notices Henrik and smiles at him, „and he’s even better than I ever imagined my soulmate to be.” he winked at him.
“You’re such a flirt!” Henrik laughed as he sat back in his chair.
“Yeah, but I’m your flirt from now on, so deal with it.” He gave him a quick answer, with a big grin on his face.
“God, what are you punishing me for?” the doctor jokingly asked.
“Hey!” Chase pouted, while Freddie and James giggled.
Henrik felt like he was dreaming. This was something he wished for so long that it was almost unreal that it really happened. He could feel tears in his eyes, so he blinked rapidly to stop them from spilling out. But one of them found its way out anyway, so he wiped it with his hand, hoping that no one noticed. But Chase did. He reached out and took Henrik’s hand in his, squeezing it lightly as an assurance that everything is okay. Henrik mouthed a ‘thank you’ to him and smiled. He believed that from now on, things would be much better than ever… because now, he finally had his soulmate with him.
#ScheepleBro#ego shipping#egoshipping#chase brody#henrik von schneeplestein#soulmate AU#schneeplebro
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Shake It Off Part 2
AN- @spngenrebingo: Jensen Ackles
Summary: Jared struggles to work through his trauma.
Warnings: self-worth, cussing, depression
Word Count: 1500
Jared x Reader!Platonic
Jensen x Reader!Platonic
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“But what if I don’t want to?”
__________
YN gasped internally.
“Well, you take it in small chunks,” she sighed.
“I know I need to be there for my kids and my wife, and the show-”
“No, Jared. You need to fight for you. Don’t worry about them right now. I hate to use your words against you, but you HAVE TO put yourself first,” YN offered a weak smile.
“You’re going there, huh?” Jared laughed. “Thanks, kid.”
“I’m not a kid. You know that, right?” YN rolled her eyes playfully.
“Compared to me you are.”
Jensen walked up to the table with his food.
“And he could be your grandpa!” Jared exclaimed as he looked to his TV brother.
“What?! How old do you think I am?” Jensen sat down, crashing into his folding chair to eat his food.
“You two need a mediator. Seriously,” YN rolled her eyes back at the boys.
“Thanks for the help, YN. I mean it,” Jared pushed his empty plate away from himself on the table.
“I’ve been there. I get it,” YN ate a bite of her lunch. Her phone went off. A screaming ringtone got the boys’ attention. “My mom,” YN huffed. “Yes, Mom?”
Jensen and Jared tried not to be nosy as she seemed annoyed with the female on the other end of the line.
“No, Mom. I am not famous… Yes, I know what I did… It’s not a stupid show! Why are you calling me anyway… No, I was not playing hero! If you’re going to bash me, I’m gonna hang up. Did you need to tell me something? No? Bye then,” YN took a deep breath before addressing the boys. “Sorry. She’s manipulative and worries that “I bring too much negative attention to the family, and ‘it’s a stupid show anyway.’” YN put her phone on the table and pushed it away from her.
“You saved my life. You know that, right?”
“And you kept me calm even though I was in shock.” Jensen added to Jared’s statement.
“I would want someone to stick up for me is all. And I know it’s not a stupid show. Mom is just trying to get in my head. Gah, she makes things so complicated. Good thing I only have to be around all them once a year.”
“Sounds like the Brady Bunch to me,” Jared chuckled.
“Yeah right,” YN responded sarcastically. “Nah. Let’s just say it’s more ‘Intervention’ than Brady Bunch.”
“Yikes,” Jensen pursed his lips.
Changing the subject, YN asked if Jared was feeling better.
“Yeah. My brain just…”
“Thinks too much,” YN finished for him. “I work out when I can’t stop the craziness in my head. Helps make me quiet, I guess. Maybe that will help you?”
“I work out already,” Jared sighed defeatedly.
“Rigorously though? That’s what makes the difference for me. If I can’t get to the gym, I do intensive workouts on YouTube. I was in a bad place the other night and a ten minute workout video helped me fall asleep. Granted, I sweated a bit, but it was totally worth it.”
“You should try those P90x videos. I have a few. You can borrow them,” Jense stuffed a chicken burrito in his mouth.
“Didn’t your mom ever teach you to not talk with your mouth full? You better not get caught by Wardrobe. There is a stain on the hem of your shirt, mister.” YN giggled.
“Oh, crap!” He looked down at the dark spot on his shirt. I’ll tuck it in my jeans. They’ll never-“
“JENSEN ACKLES!” Robin walked up behind YN, seeing Jensen trying to hide the stain. “What in the hell? Go change.”
“It’s fine! The camera won’t see it,” he defiantly defended himself.
“What about that glob of guacamole on your collar?” She pressed.
“Dammit!” He looked down seeing green on his shirt. “Fine.” With a scowl, Jensen stood up and stomped toward the wardrobe trailer.
“Wow. Attitude much?” YN folded over in laughter. “I know you’ve been feeling down. I get it. You went through something traumatic. But I know that you know to take it moment by moment. What are you scared of?” YN asked gently.
“I guess being embarrassed. It’s tough to not be in control of your own circumstances. I mean-“ he stopped and took a hurried breath.
“What, Jared?”
“I had no understanding of what was happening. I looked weak because-“
“Do you know how many people are complimenting your recovery online? They are wishing you the best and are not expecting you to fine right away. Everyone I’ve seen online has made comments about paying low and not pushing yourself because it’s what’s best. No one knows that you’re having these symptoms still, and they wouldn’t judge you anyway. They love you, Jared.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. It’s called a family for a reason, moose.” YN laughed. “You HAVE GOT to get out of your head. Your seizure happened. We can’t change that. Your recovery is up to you though.”
YN could see Jared withdraw the next few days. She observed them walking toward her.
“Get out of your head, Jared. I can see it on your face.” Jensen clapped him on his back.
“I can’t, dude. My head is just too much.” They stopped walking for privacy reasons.
“Go for a run. We have time.”
“No, I don’t want-” Jared started.
I know you don’t want to. You need to.”
“Stop, Jensen.”
“YN!” Jensen screamed her name. She turned from her personal cast chair. “Come here!”
Concerned, she walked quickly to the boys.
“Can you knock some sense into him, please?” Jensen crossed his arms.
YN took a breath.
“What’s up, big guy? Come here.” They walked to some folding chairs off to the side.
“I am too much.”
“Why do you feel like that?”
“I saw stuff online by accident. People said stuff like I was too old to do this anymore. I’m too delayed, and I belong in a home, and-”
“Okay, woah. Deep breaths. Let’s talk through this. You didn’t look it up on purpose, right?” Jared shook his head. “Good. Those people aren’t part of the SPN Family. I know you want them to like you. Everyone wants that. Whether you had the seizure or not, you know that going to happen. What would you tell yourself about that before this happened?”
“It doesn’t matter because I like what I do,” Jared sucked in a breath.
“That still stands. I promise. Why don’t you and Jensen go to the gym trailer? You have a while before the next scene, right?”
“I can take him,” Jensen agreed.
“Can you come?” Jared looked at YN sadly.
“Sure.”
The three met inside the gym. Jensen started punching the bag while Jensen held it in place.
“I’m tired,” Jared slowed down.
“No, keep going.” Jensen groaned as he absorbed Jared’s punches through the bag.
“I can’t.”
“Jensen, switch with me,” YN stood from the bench she was sitting on. He gave her a questioning look, but he complied. When she took Jensen’s place, she slowly encouraged Jared to continue. “You can do this. You have to fight. Right now. Punch it until your brain shuts off. It will help you reset.” YN called Jensen back over to hold the bag as she coached Jared.
“Okay,” Jared agreed.
“Punch it. Come on. Deep breaths, let’s go!” YN raised her voice as Jared hit the black cylinder faster and faster. After a minute of solid punching, he collapsed onto a workout bench. Jared put his head in his hands. Hyperventilating, he wiped his hand over his face.
“It’s okay. Good job. You need a minute?” YN knelt down so that she was level with Jared sitting in his seat. He nodded. “Okay,” she stood up to leave.
“No, stay,” Jared said quickly. Quietly, she agreed and sat on a bench next to him. She stayed quiet as he processed. “I feel a little better. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” she weakly smiled. “You’re worth it. Don’t forget it. I think you two need a minute,” YN stood up and left the trailer.
“She’s good,” Jared chuckled.
“YN gets it. It’s tough stuff, man. But you can’t give up. You’re worth it.”
“Thanks,” Jared offered a relieved sigh.
“BOYS! WE NEED YOU!” A PA pounded on the door.
“Dammit.”
“I’ll cover for you. Go shower.”
_______
“Hey, everybody! I wanted to come on here and tell you about my friend, YN. We actually have a little announcement. Say hi, YN!” Jared panned the camera over to YN. She waved to his Facebook Live fans.
“Hi!”
“We know that I had quite the experience a few weeks ago. It’s been a roller coaster, but YN saved the day at our last convention. She has been such a help, so we thought we would team up and raise some money. We had these shirts made, and we hope you’ll join us in donating to the Epilepsy Foundation.”
YN displayed her t-shirt that she was wearing with a smile.
“We love the SPN Family!” YN blew a kiss to the camera.
“Always remember to put yourself first! Love you guys!”
_____
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A Recorded Life (7/50) - Miraculous Ladybug
Words: 1410 Summary: People loved the last video starring Marinette and Adrien, and now she's got a meeting with Jagged Stone to stress about! All of this begins to pile on Marinette, and she needs a good friend to talk her out of freaking out. Author's Note: a little slower, but an important chapter! The next few are going to be a lot of fun...now I'm just figuring out where to put the climax of this story. I still don't even know how long I want it to be!! But, I am really enjoying writing it, and I'm glad people are enjoying reading it!
Prev / Next
Another Thing To Keep Track Of
---
"Marinette! I saw Jagged Stone's tweet. Are you guys actually doing a video together?" Nino ran up and asked as soon as he saw Marinette.
Early in the morning, Marinette was not prepared to hear Nino screaming. But she still turned around from her conversation with Alya and smiled widely at Nino, nodding quickly. "Yeah! He gets in town tonight, then I'm going to his hotel tomorrow, and we're shooting a video. I haven't fully finished planning for it, but it's going to be an awesome video," Marinette promised.
"You guys have collaborated a lot, so I have no doubt this will be just as awesome," Alya intervened. "Now, can we talk about how your video is still trending three days later?"
Shaking her head, Marinette shrugged. "I've had videos trend before."
"But not like this! This one is on YouTube and Twitter!" Alya put her hands on Marinette's shoulders, shaking lightly. "Besides, the whole internet wants you and Adrien together."
Marinette took a deep breath. "Honestly, Alya, I'm trying to stay cool about the whole thing. These past few weeks have been some of the best for my channel- views, likes, and subscribers are up. Not only just on the videos with Adrien, though, but people also seem to find me from those trending videos and watch a bunch of my other stuff. That's not normal," Marinette said. "Most times, people watch what's recommended, then don't watch anymore," She shook her head.
"You're just so likable people want to come back for more!" Alya nudged Marinette's side. "People come for the Adrien content, stay for the marvelous Marinette."
The three of them stopped talking when they heard Chloe scoff at them. "I think you're only trending because the three of you bought more views," Chloe rolled her eyes.
"Chloe, if I did that, YouTube knows how to find out. I basically wouldn't have a job if I bought views. Besides, the views, likes, and comments match up," Marinette smirked. "I've studied the statistics of everything and spend way too much time on my videos to buy views- people will watch my videos if they want, I'm not going to fake it," Marinette defended herself.
"Anyways, Marinette's not like that," Adrien said once he walked in the classroom. "It was a super fun video to make, and the reaction from fans is amazing, no wonder it's still trending. We had fun making it, and that shows, people like that," Adrien said as he stood next to Marinette. He may be childhood friends with Chloe, but he's seen how she can be, and he still has to put her in her place from time to time.
"Hhmph!" Chloe pouted and turned to her seat, clearly at a loss for words.
The attention steered away from Chloe and back to their small group. "I can't believe it's still trending!" Adrien whisper-shouted. "The video was awesome, but people like it a hundred times more than we projected!"
Alya giggled. "People do love seeing you guys together," She shrugged, dropping the slyest of hints.
Marinette rolled her eyes as everyone headed to their seats. "Hey, Adrien," Marinette called, and he turned around. "I'm almost finished with that design I teased. Will you be free Friday night or Saturday?"
Adrien thought for a second. "I'll find out as soon as I get home," He smiled. "I can't wait to see it!"
"Sounds like a plan," Marinette nodded and took out her books.
—
A thump sounded behind Ladybug, causing her to jump at the sudden noise. "Did I scare you, my lady?" Chat Noir asked. "I'm not used to seeing you sitting here, slumping," He commented and took a seat next to her.
"I'm fine," She replied. "Just a little stressed."
"How come? I know talking about it can be a way to destress sometimes," Chat Noir said. With a head shake no, Chat Noir sighed. "You don't have to; I just wanted to offer."
Ladybug laid back on the rooftop and put her hands over her eyes. "There's just so much going on, Chat, and everything is moving so fast. I graduate from school in just a few months, and we still haven't defeated Hawkmoth. What happens when we go to University? What if I go to another city...I can't imagine giving up my Miraculous, especially not when Hawkmoth is still out there. We know how to fight him, and we are so close to defeating him, if only we could find him," She groaned and took a deep breath.
Chat Noir listened in silence as she talked. "I've basically got two jobs, and I could quit one if I wanted, but I love both of them so much. Tomorrow, I have a big meeting with someone, and he won't tell me what it is about, and that's stressing me out. Last time he had a surprise for me, national television made fun of me for it. I'm sure tomorrow will go fine, and I've worked with him before, but he can work in mysterious ways," Ladybug continued, freaking out about her meeting as Marinette with Jagged Stone tomorrow. They were going to do a video, and he said he had the perfect idea for it, yet never mentioned what it was.
For a minute they sat in silence as Ladybug could feel stress tears come to her eyes. "Ladybug, you do so much," Chat Noir said.
Uncovering one of her eyes, she sniffled and looked at him. "What?"
"You go to school, work two jobs, have a social life, and still protect Paris. I may not know much about your life under the mask, but I know it's just as amazing as the one I've learned to know here," He said. "I'll never understand how you do it and never crash from exhaustion. I've done that before, and trust me, I'm not nearly as busy as you are," Chat Noir said. "You're, dare I say, miraculous."
Ladybug rubbed her eyes and sat up. "Thank you, Chat Noir. I really needed to hear that. I can talk to my friends about all this, but they don't know this side of my life and understand the stress I have from it," She told him. "Can I ask you one more question?"
"Of course."
Ladybug thought about how to phrase her question to ensure he wouldn't be able to figure out who she was going to talk about. "I've been friends with this guy for a while- probably as long as you and I have known each other, actually. We were technically friends for a while, though, I was always too nervous to actually say two words to him because we are in such different levels. He's best friends with my best friends boyfriend, too, so we've always had mutual connections," Ladybug rambled on, then took a big breath.
"Okay, to the point. Recently, we have grown closer. Like, really close. Close to the point where we now hang out without our other friends around and act like we've known each other like this for years," She said. "And I had a huge crush on him. I think it's still there, but I've learned how to hide and suppress it. But we spend so much time together; I'm afraid it's going to come out full force. Is it weird to like your close friend?"
Chat Noir shook his head once she finished, thinking of how he feels about Ladybug. "Not at all. It's kind of like skipping a step, I think. When dating, you have to get to know each other and if you'd be compatible. If you start dating from being friends, then you already know each other, and you've skipped the awkward stages of getting to know one another. You already have an idea of how the two of you would work out, and if dating would be better for the both of you," Chat Noir sighed once he realized he was giving his crush advice for her crush.
Ladybug nodded slowly. "Right, that's a good way to look at it. Thank you, again. I don't know if I'm going to act on it, though, we're both ways too busy for any kind of relationship. That would just add another thing for me to keep track of," She giggled a little. "Thank you for the talk; I don't know what I would do without you," Ladybug put her hand on his shoulder.
---
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A,E,F,G,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y,Z ;o
Okay *cracks knuckles* let’s go! F, M, and S have already been taken from this list, so feel free to send in... B, C, D, or H, I guess. Yeehaw. This is really fucking long.
A: How did you come up with the title to [TMWCIFTC]? -- It started, as many things do, as a bad pun. The novel The Spy who Came In from the Cold was a cold-war spy thriller, about a British spy who goes over to East Germany as an apparent defect, except he’s actually there to spread misinformation and fuck shit up. He falls in love, becomes disillusioned with his superiors, and is shot dead over the corpse of his lover after climbing over to the east side of the wall. Needless to say, this is nowhere close to what happens in TMWCIFTC. I chose it early on because of the literal meaning: there’s a moth(man), he’s coming in from the cold WV weather, boom shaka laka, we have a title. Over time, though, it’s evolved into another meaning. Indrid himself is coming in from an isolated, lonely existence: he’s rejoining the family that cut ties with him, he’s in love, he’s warm and safe. The moth sure did come in from the cold, and hopefully he stays that way.
E: If you wrote a sequel to [TMWCIFTC], what would it be about? -- Hm. Considering my entire TAZ fic career is a tangled hairball of sequels and prequels, I kind of have this base covered. At the moment, TCOS - aka The Children of Sylvain, the sequel to TMWCIFTC - is about three things: a Pine Guard road trip race against time and the feds, the Spanish Sylvan Inquisition That Nobody Expected (least of all Jake and Hollis, who have to set aside their differences and past conflicts to save Kepler - and who knows, maybe they’ll fall in love along the way), and Alexandra the Interpreter getting woke to Sylvan politics and doing what she can from the inside to change them. In other words, it’s going to be a massive sequel that is the finale of the Amnesty alternate universe I’ve created. It’s this series’ Endgame. (That reminds me, I need an actual title for this collection of stories I’m writing. The “Tin Cinematic Universe” doesn’t quite have the ring to it that I’d like.)
G: Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order? -- eh, it kind of depends. It’s like a buffering bar on Youtube videos. I outline what I can until I run out of ideas, then start writing, then add outlines to the end, until the outline is complete and I just have to keep writing.
I: Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)? -- I don’t have one for reading, but for writing, I fucking love structuring chapters around songs. Classical or otherwise, I love music. All my stories play in my head like a movie screen, and I just do my best to describe what I’m seeing in my head with an accompanying score. It’s not so much a guilty pleasure as it is a writing process. Frankly, I don’t think I actually have a guilty pleasure; the act of writing itself is all the happiness I need.
J: Write or describe an alternative ending to [insert fic]. -- An alternate ending for The Devil Went Down To Georgia would be... interesting. It ended with Boyd-as-Jersey-Devil scaring the pants off some poor broke college kid, who stole his worthless fiddle; then he changed back, and he and Ned went on their merry way to go break into Aubrey’s house and send everything down the drain. If there was one thing that I could change in there, it would be how fast Ned ran. If he ran a little faster, he would have seen the alley; he would have witnessed Boyd turning into the Jersey Devil, or at least turning back into himself; and he’d get a very rude awakening as to what Sylvans are and that his partner (in crime, and everything that mattered) was a fucking cryptid. God, that’d be a fun AU to write. Who knows, I might go do that someday.
K: What’s the angstiest idea you’ve ever come up with? -- At the moment, the only angsty idea that I’m actually conceptualizing is a Hollis/Jake angsty breakup for TSG. (Spoilers, I guess.) I once wrote a very grimdark ending to TMWCIFTC where everyone fell through the ice and drowned. It wasn’t fun. I’ve also mentally killed off each Amnesty protagonist and NPC in various ways, but I never felt comfortable writing them down. I only write angst with a happy ending because those are the kinds of stories I need to hear.
L: How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting? -- 9 times out of 10, I just throw it into the void. I write as much as I can in big chunks, and then kind of hope for the best. TMWCIFTC, for example, is a completely unedited, unbetaed vomit draft. I usually do a quick reread of my oneshots to catch grammar and spelling errors, but other than that I just trust myself that it’s fine.
N: Is there a fic you wish someone else would write (or finish) for you? -- Can I get some kind of resolution for To the Edge of Night? Can I please get some kind of resolution for To the Edge of Night??? I was 14 chapters into that bastard before I a) became a more casual MCU fan and b) discovered TAZ. It was such a niche fic with such a niche structure - LOTR as galactic Asgardian propaganda to cover up Odin’s mistakes - that at some point I lost interest in it. I just saw Endgame though, so now I might get some inspiration for stuff to bastardize.
O: How do you begin a story–with the plot, or the characters? -- Characters. When coming up with character backstories, I can usually find ways to slot their lives together that necessitate a plot. I love character-driven stories, where their actions actually do shit and their words actually mean something, in favor of getting dragged along behind the plot like tin cans behind a car.
P: Are you what George R. R. Martin would call an “architect” or a “gardener”? (How much do you plan in advance, versus letting the story unfold as you go?) -- I’m definitely an architect, but in a really messy way. My friends can attest that I do an insane amount of planning for each story - often in their DMs, sorry about that, Fae, Cro, Indy and Aline 😬 - and all that usually ends up in a stream-of-consciousness rant outline on Google Drive. Knowing where the story is going helps me a lot, but the planning I do is definitely just building flower beds in which to sow seeds. Or building a greenhouse. I plan the bare bones of a story, and things get really wild within it, but it does follow a logical plot structure.
Q: How do you feel about collaborations? -- I have a lot of respect for the people who can successfully pull it off, but idk if i’d ever want to do one myself. I get really possessive of my stories and ideas and like to be the one in charge of their execution. That being said, some collabs have produced amazing stories. I don’t mind reading collab fics, but actually being in a collab grates on me more than it should.
R: Are there any writers (fanfic or otherwise) you consider an influence? -- I’m definitely influenced heavily by Neil Gaiman. I read American Gods and Good Omens a lot while I was trying to write TMWCIFTC; not only was it a good brain break, but I was able to pick up a lot of tips on scene pacing, concise yet expressive language, and character interactions. My creative wriitng professors have always told us to read so we know what to steal - not in terms of content, but in execution.
On the fanfic side, @miamaroo is a huge inspiration for me. I’ve been reading Northern Migration a lot recently, and I love how its canon divergence is so worldshaking and so complex, but is still familiar in nostalgic yet terrifying ways. I read it back in October, went, “Huh, I wanna do something that wild. And if miamaroo can do it then I sure as fuck can too,” and I started planning TMWCIFTC during that one month dead zone the McElroys took last year. Northern Migration is one of the best, most coherent, most stunning, and most incredibly written TAZ Balance AUs I’ve ever read, and if I hadn’t read it, I wouldn’t have been inspired to take the fuckall huge plunge into TMWCIFTC.
S: Any fandom tropes you can’t resist? -- Bed sharing and cuddling, hand kissing, wrist kissing, whump, sympathetic villains. Canon divergent AUs are my absolute favorite things to both read and write. Anything that would turn me into Charlie Kelly slamming his finger on a bulletin board screaming, “CAROL,” is a fic I would give my life for.
T: Any fandom tropes you can’t stand? -- Not a fan of a) woobification and b) flat villain characterization, to the point where the story is riding on villain tropes instead of an actual person or plot. Character nuance is always something I look for when I read. I don’t usually get bitter about tropes, though; some stuff, when subverted, works really well. I fully subscribe to don’t like, don’t read, don’t write, which is why I don’t write anything that warrants AO3 content warning tags or an Explicit rating, in favor of focusing on plot. Every author has a reason for what they write and how - be it their level of experience, personal preference, or simply the joy of writing something and getting it out there - and I respect that. Within reason, of course.
U: Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much. --
@miamaroo, for reasons I’ve already discussed. My favorite TAZ Balance author hands down. Read Northern Migration and give it the love it deserves, or I’m replacing all the faucets in your house with silly straws.
@transagentstern. Fae has a bunch of absolutely incredible fics and an amazing grasp on characterization. We come from the same place with AUs, in that canon is but the bare planks on which we put the drywall of our plot an characterization. They structure AUs and character backstories from the ground up in believable and emotionally raw ways. Also they have great music taste. I especially like their interpretation of Indrid in Moth to the Flame; he, like all the other characters in the story, is far from perfect, and his character arc is explored in relatable ways that I love to read.
@keplersheetz. Aline - theneonpineapple on AO3 - researches like a motherfucker and has a wealth of knowledge/experience/viewpoints to draw on, making author-author interactions with her an absolute delight. She’s also doing the lord’s work with rarepairs. Spin a wheel, find a ship, and she’s probably written for it or at least conceptualized it. Reading her character studies and stories of the old Pine Guard - aka Mama’s original crew, before the current PCs joined - is always a delight. I’ve also hashed out a lot of details for The Children of Sylvain, especially for Mr. Boyd Mosche, guilt-wracked Jersey Devil extraordinaire, with her help.
V: If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose? -- Not gonna lie, I’m fine with a lot of stuff that’s out there right now. It’s been a hot few months since I’ve actually stopped to read fic, but from what I recall, most of the fics I’ve read have done a good job of keeping things intact.
W: Do you like more general prompts, or more specific ones? -- The vaguer, the better. With really specific prompts, it usually feels as if the story’s been written for me already; with vague, general prompts, I have more agency to explore my own ideas. Some accompanying detail is usually nice, though. For example, the coffee shop/college/flower shop AUs that @transagentstern wrote are my ideal prompt for drabbles: premise, a little bit of open-ended detail, clear explanation of what’s going to happen while leaving the rest up to the imagination. Good stuff. If it’s for a long-form piece, though, I prefer full agency, or even just some time to lie facedown in the dirt and wait for an idea to strike me.
X: A character you enjoy making suffer. -- Yes.
Y: A character you want to protect. -- Tim.
Z: Major character death–do you ever write/read it? Is there a character whose death you can’t tolerate? -- I do read lots of major character death, yeah, though not always for TAZ. There’s something cathartic about seeing a character die, but sometimes it sits wrong with me in ways that I don’t like. As for writing, I’d rather kill a character for a reason rather than for shock value/for the Feels, though said Feels can accompany the reason.
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Put your music on shuffle and answer the questions about each artist!
I was tagged by: @awstn
Name of Artist: With Confidence
What genre are they? Pop Punk
How long have they been active? 2012?
Have you ever heard them on the radio? Nope
Have they released any new music within the last year or two? They put out an album (Love and Loathing) last year
Do they have a male or female vocalist? Two males
Name of Artist: As It Is
Would you recommend them? to literally everyone
What is your favourite lyric of theirs? oooooh fuck… there’s so many good ones. “Life is agony but worth it all the same” from The Two Tongues (Screaming Salvation) hit me like a ton of bricks the first time I heard it, though
What are their album artworks like? Varied. They fit the overall feels of the albums very well
If they stopped making music, would you be sad? I’d be completely devastated
If you didn’t know what they look like, based off their music, what you guess they looked like? Hearing The Great Depression, I’d probably guess that they look exactly like they currently do (emo). Okay. era I’d probably assume that they still just looked like a pop punk band. And for Never Happy, I’d probably also guess pretty close.
Name of Artist: All Time Low
How popular are they? they’re regarded as one of the bigger, more important, older(ish) bands in the scene, and they’ve gotten some decent mainstream attention I think
Have you ever seen them perform live? 3 times
How did you find out about them? So one of my friends listened to them when we were in middle school but I didn’t start listening to them until I was in high school, and it was probably because I saw posts about them on here
What is their sexuality, if known? Straight to my knowledge (but they sure do like to kiss boys)
Is their music easy to dance to? yeah they’ve got some bops
Name of Artist: Set It Off
What instrument is the most prominent in their music? probably drums, guitars, or synth. It varies. They also play a lot of the horn parts themselves and those are featured pretty often
Does your family listen to them? my mom and my little sister adore them
Are they still making music today? They released anew album two days ago! stream midnight by set it off
Would you want to meet them? I have and they’re all such sweethearts
How represented is this artist in your saved music/collection? I have all their CDs and their entire available discography saved on both spotify and iTunes
Name of Artist: I Don’t Know How But They Found Me
When did you discover them? when they performed at an emo night a while ago and the internet lost its shit
How many albums do they have? just an EP and a standalone single currently
Which member of the band is closest to your ‘type’ / do you find the most attractive? I mean neither but I’ll acknowledge that Dallon is quite pretty
Have they gone through any line-up changes? nope
Is their music more fun or serious? it’s very well-done so I’d say it’s serious in that it’s like, quality music, but sound/vibe wise, it’s really really fun
Name of Artist: Chapel
Is the type of music / genre they play something you would typically enjoy or is their sound different for you? It’s not outside the realm of possibilities for me but it’s also not the most common sound in my playlists
Based off of their sound, what would a human version of their music look like? someone young, a lil bit sad, and colorfully-dressed
Could you see yourself getting along with the members personally? I think so
Did somebody recommend this band to you? Unless you count Awsten Knight talking about them constantly, no.
Of all their songs, which would you play at a party? We’ve Got Soul or Don’t You Love Me
Name of Artist: State Champs
How many people are in this band/group? Five.
When did they start making music? 2010
Do they have any well known songs, if so, which one(s)? I don’t think they have anything that’s mainstream well-known but according to spotify their most-streamed song is Secrets
Do you listen to this artist regularly? Definitely
How would you describe their music? pop punk with good, catchy choruses and very pleasant vocal melodies and harmonies
Name of Artist: Neck Deep
If they use a stage name, what is their real name(s)? Well I mean they don’t individually have stage names, but their names are Ben Barlow, Matt West, Sam Bowden, and Dani Abasi/Washington (well Dani has released music as Dani Rain actually so I guess that is a stage name but it doesn’t have to do with Neck Deep)
Do they regularly make pop charts? no
Have you ever met them? I haven’t but I watched them get into an Uber five feet away from me once
If they toured in your city, would you go see them? absolutely. They were incredible the last time
Name of Artist: CrazyEightyEight
Are they known for anything else besides music? I mean they’re known for other music that isn’t this band. First of all, they’re all from youtube (Patty and Jarrod don’t make youtube videos anymore but Lauren does). Also Lauren is in another band called Red-Handed Denial, Patty is in As It Is, and Jarrod has released a bunch of parody/comedy music
What is their nationality? Lauren is Canadian, Jarrod is American, and Patty is American-British
Are they a guilty pleasure? Nah, they’re way too good
Which age group is this artist most popular with? I honestly couldn’t tell you
Has this artist ever toured in your country/state/city? they haven’t toured, period
Name of Artist: Stand Atlantic
Do you think it’s necessary or important to know about their personal life to ‘understand’ their music? Eh, I don’t think so. Their music has a very personal feel but in a way that’s easy to connect to and identify with
Have they ever gone on hiatus and did they return? they haven’t gone on hiatus thankfully
What instruments do they use? guitar, bass, drums, and probably some synths
What city are they from? Sydney, Australia
What are your experiences with fans of this artist? meme-y lol but also nice. Lots of girls that are in love with Bonnie (myself included, god she's so talented)
I tag @bagelicious @maria-kart @momcena @oh-well-shit @je-me-libere @thingswelostinthefireradio @starry-knight12 @caimani @diamondboy @kartertawsten (no pressure to actually do this if you aren’t up for it, of course)
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wow tag
also this notif came in and i literally had to go TO ur blog from the search function because it literally would not let me see the notif thanks hellsite i mean tumblr
Tagged by:@beautiful-things-beautiful-loser (thank u!!)
Name (lol): joshua
Nicknames: josh, joshie, starry, bitch, author-chan (which i HAVE and WILL cut someone for calling me 🔪🔪🔪)
Gender: male
Zodiac: uhh taurus
Favorite bands/Solo artists: my chemical romance, fall out boy, panic! at the disco, the oral cigarettes, one ok rock, unison square garden, bts, pvris, vocaloid lmao (no specific producers tho), radwimps, mitski
Song stuck in my head: Save Yourself, I’ll Hold Them Back by My Chemical Romance
Last Movie I Saw: ???? five minutes of forrest gump bc my friend told me to lol i cant watch movies im not focused enough
Last Thing I Googled: cheritz merch store (I WANT THE SPECIAL BELIEVER PACKAGE BUT I’M BROKE T_T)
Other Blogs: my main @lazyhazydays; an Edgy(tm) aesthetic blog @forestblade; langblur @josh-lang; (tell me url reference, aesthetic theme, and icon source (respectively) and i’ll love u forever)
Do I Get Asks: yeah lolol i have ten unanswered asks in my inbox rn and seven drafts and while ily all i’m so fuckin overwhelmed lmao (side note but i have SIX whole-ass naki reqs and ONE (1) for the ultimate good boy hooguro... you all are so good to me)
Why I Chose My Username: my quotev is @.aogiris and since it was taken on here i chose the Next Best Thing (and this way nobody can be confused about what purpose my blog serves. yup, i write!). i chose @.aogiris bc i am The Biggest Aogiri Stan
Following: 226
Average Amount of Sleep: anywhere from 30min to 4 hours
Lucky Number: 11 or 13
What I Am Wearing: running shorts and a tshirt from the last show i was in (the lion king on ice hell yeah i played mufasa)
Me in my natural habitat: is this a selfie tag bc i look ugly so sorry boyz and girlz and other non-binary punkz
Dream Job: ...i wanna be a professional figure skater but that dream is pretty much dead :( i also want to be in a rock band but my voice is too high to do the gerard way screaming i wanna do
Dream Trip: japan or germany or a country that commonly/natively speaks either one of those languages
Favourite Food: i don’t eat
Play Any Instruments: piano, guitar, violin (FUN FACT i was a violin child prodigy but i quit bc it hurt my hands)
Favorite Song: either Complication- ROOKIEZ is PUNK’D or Save Yourself, I’ll Hold Them Back- My Chemical Romance (honorable mention for Chicago is So Two Years Ago- Fall Out Boy)
Play(ed) Any Sports: figure skating!!!!, martial arts
Most Iconic Song: AFRICA BY TOTO OR BABY HIT ME ONE MORE TIME BY BRITNEY SPEARS
Random Fact: when i was 7 i wanted to be a stormchaser so i watched a whole bunch of youtube vids and gave myself such bad nightmares that now i get scared whenever thunder lasts for more than five seconds despite the fact that tornadoes Do Not Form Where I Live Ever
Describe Yourself as Aesthetics/Things: uhhhhh 2005 emo culture, blood knives etc., thunderstorms and cloudy skies, wings and angelic motifs, bright colors, and plants
Tagging! everyone reading this. i wanna see your lives. tell me abt it. i’m deadass serious pls do it
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Chris Evans Fic: Lucky Enough
I’m mega crushing on Dad!Chris at the moment, if you couldn’t tell. Will this dude just hurry up and have a couple of kids already? I’ll gladly volunteer as tribute!
So this is from the same verse as the last three, with the Model!You. This is more about Chris and the eldest child, Mason, though: ‘you’ doesn’t feature in it too heavily.
Also lots of dialogue. You know how much Chris loves a bedtime story ;)
***
It was Friday night and you were out with friends having a few cocktails and good catch up. Chris and the kids had dropped you off in the city earlier and he’d told you to go have fun. He knew how important it was for you to catch up with your friends, especially from Victoria’s Secret. It kept that part of your life present and Chris knew it was important for you to just be you, as well as being a wife and a mother. So he’d kissed you from the driver’s seat of the SUV and watched as you sashayed into the bar, before doing a u-turn and heading back home.
The kids had eaten earlier and after a movie (The Rescuers, because Chris believed in keeping the classics alive) and a quick bedtime story, they were all fast asleep in their respective beds.
Chris had mooched about with a beer in hand, playing with Dodger (as much as ten year old Dodger would allow) and watching a few sports commentary shows. Although, like all busy parents, Chris sometimes longed for an hour or two to himself in the day, when he actually got it, he found he was bored shitless. What did he even used to do with his time before he had you and the kids?
So when Mason, his eldest at eight years old, appeared at the living room door sleepily rubbing his eyes and looking a bit miserable, Chris found he was actually something close to being relieved.
‘Hey little man, what’s up? I thought you were asleep?’
‘I was but I think I had a bad dream and now I can’t get back to sleep.’
‘You want to sit here with me and Dodger for a bit, take your mind off it?’ Chris patted the sofa next to him.
Mason nodded and dropped himself down next to his dad.
'When will mom be home?’
'I’m not sure, she’s getting a ride back later. Is there something you want to talk about?’ Chris sensed there was a motivation behind the question. He hoped that all his children felt they were able to approach either of their parents equally with any problems but he understood as much as anyone that there were some things you just needed to talk to your mom about. In your absence, however, he needed to be that person for Mason.
'I don’t know… I feel like you’re going to be mad,’ Mason admitted uncomfortably, not making eye contact.
That immediately had all kinds of scenarios whirling around Chris’ mind.
'What’s wrong? Why would I be mad? Are you in trouble?’ He tried to keep the urgency out of his voice but knew he was failing.
'Oh it doesn’t matter, I’ll wait for mom tomorrow,’ Mason made to stand up but Chris gently tugged him back by his arm.
'Sorry dude, I just get worried. I promise I’ll just listen and not ask so many questions.’
'And you won’t get mad?’ Mason looked up hopefully from where he was now tucked under Chris’ arm.
Chris hesitated for a second, formulating the best answer, 'I reserve judgement on that, but as long as you’re okay, I won’t get mad.’
His son looked away again and, taking a deep breath, began to speak:
'So, some kids at school today, they were making fun of me called me an 'accident’. That I wasn’t supposed to be born. That you and mom didn’t want me.’
Mason had been right, Chris was mad. Where would a bunch of kids even get that notion? There had been some speculation around the time the news of your pregnancy broke and it’s closeness to the wedding date but how would kids even… fucking parents. The parents were even worse than the kids at that shitty school, Chris would swear it. Stuck up, judgemental parents who somehow thought that forking out tens of thousands of dollars for their kids education made them the law on everything, like everyone wasn’t paying fees there.
'Who was it? Give me names and I’ll email the principal right now,’ Chris demanded, plucking his phone from where it rested on the coffee table.
'Dad, no!’ Mason panicked, and then started to get frustrated, 'Forget it, I’ll just talk to mom tomorrow.’
He ran from the room and Chris could hear his footsteps one after the other up the stairs. He was caught somewhere between boiling rage and confusion. Firstly, how dare anyone say those kinds of things to his son! But swiftly overtaking that rage was the realisation that he needed to help Mason right now, and not fly off the handle bombarding half his teachers with emails on a Friday night.
So, he rose from the sofa and followed the footsteps his son had taken only moments earlier. He gently knocked on Mason’s door and pushed it fully open to the darkness of his room. The glow-in-the-dark stars cast tiny shadows against the models of planets that hung from the ceiling. In the slice of light that fell through the doorway from the hall, Chris could make out a Mason-shaped lump on his bed, covered completely, head and all, by his constellation bed sheets.
Chris took his silence and stillness as a blessing to enter and he sank himself down onto the mattress where he thought Mason’s feet may have been.
'Mase? I’m sorry dude, I said I’d listen and I didn’t. But I’ve realised it’s more important that I tell you the truth than go mad at the punks that upset you.’
That had Mason shifting and his head emerged as he folded his sheets over, tucking them under his arms.
'What do you mean, the truth?’ His voice was thick and Chris’ heart broke knowing that he’d been crying. Kids could be so mean to each other.
'The truth about you, of course,’ Chris spoke like Mason should know exactly what he was talking about.
'Dad, tell me.’
'I was on a press conference panel for the last Avengers film. I’d been away from your mom for a just over a month and it was pretty hard, being away that long when we were getting married so soon. And it was really busy then and we were on different time zones and it was really difficult to talk on the phone.’
'But I remember feeling my phone buzz in my pocket when I was stood in the wings waiting to go out on the stage and I pulled it out quickly to check it. I saw it was your mom and the first line I saw on my notifications was 'I really hate to do this via text…’ and I immediately jumped to all the worst conclusions.’
'What does that mean, Dad?’ Mason enquired.
'It means I was already imagining that something bad had happened. I thought she was going to tell me she wanted to break up with me!’ Chris’ hands were flying along with his words.
'Daaaaddddd, that would never happen!’ Mason rolled his eyes but he sat up in his bed with a chuckle and Chris knew he was swimming to the surface of his worries.
'I know right?! But that’s what I thought when I saw that first line!’
'So you had to read it before you went out, right?’ Mason leant forward slightly, enthralled.
'Of course! So, heart pounding, I opened up the message. The host is outside whipping up the crowd and announcing us but I don’t hear any of it because I’m so focused on this message and can you guess what it said?’ Chris leant forward towards Mason, eyes wide.
'Just tell me! Please!’
'It said, 'I really hate to do this via text but you’re not due home for weeks and we keep playing phone tag and I just need you to know. You remember I said I’ve been feeling pretty weird for a couple of weeks? Well, after ruling all obvious things out, I just took a test and… we’re having a baby! Have a great day sweetheart, even though I know it will be impossible to have anything but now. Call me when you get a chance so we can be excited together. Love you.’
'Was that me? Was I the baby?’ Mason was up on his knees now, clinging on to Chris’ arm and bouncing.
'You sure were,’ Chris laughed.
'Wait,’ his son went from barely able to contain his excitement to still and contemplative, 'How do you even remember all that?’
Chris pulled him into his side, 'Dude, you know what my job is, right?’
'Yeah, but it’s been years! I’m eight years old now! And you don’t really act much now!’
'Okay, okay, you got me. I screenshot it straight away and I’ve had it saved in my Cloud ever since. Want to see?’
Mason just nodded eagerly and so Chris grabbed his phone from his pocket, unlocked it and located the screenshot. He passed it to Mason who held it between his palms like it was precious. He read the screen, his little face of wonder glowing in the back light.
'Did you reply?’ he turned to Chris after reading the message.
'Not by text. Everyone else was heading out on to the stage around me and I had to go with them. I sat down in front of everyone, loads of people in the crowd, all screaming and lights flashing and music playing and I knew that I had to be there, it was part of my job.’
'But I couldn’t focus. On anything. I was ready to burst inside. And I knew that if I didn’t call your mom right there and then, it could be days and days before we got to talk again. Someone asked me a question and I didn’t even hear it. All the cast were looking at me like I had three heads and I was frozen in my own thoughts.’
'And I just got up and left. I had to speak to your mom and I couldn’t tell everyone there about the news I’d just got even though it was exploding from me. So I walked off stage.’
'No way! Dad!’ Mason exclaimed in awe.
'I’d never done anything like that before. It’s on YouTube!’
Chris pulled up the YouTube app and, doing a quick search, found the video.
'Did you get in trouble?’ Mason wondered after watching it.
'A little bit, but no one could be too mad a few weeks later when we could share the news with our friends.’
'And were they excited too?’ Mason didn’t quite meet his eyes but Chris could hear the hope in his voice.
'Mase, everyone was excited. You were the best news we could ever share with anyone. Just think about Christmas and birthdays for a minute. What are the best kinds of presents?’
Mason sat still while he thought and eventually came up with an answer, 'When you get something you wanted but didn’t think you would get.’
'Exactly, and finding out about you was like getting all my surprise birthday and Christmas presents at once,’ Chris squeezed him to his side in a one-armed hug, 'I didn’t think I’d be lucky enough to get you so soon, but you arrived and made my life a thousand times better.’
'I did?’ Mason looked up at him with eyes exactly the same as yours.
'You did,’ Chris replied definitively, 'and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.’
***
It was after one a.m. when you snuck into the house after a really fun night out with your friends. You tiptoed straight upstairs and, one after the other, headed into the rooms of all your children to kiss them goodnight, gently so as not to wake them.
Mason’s room was the furthest from the stairs so you got to his last, but was surprised upon entering to find not only your eldest son but also your husband, fast asleep.
Chris was on his back, one leg hanging over the side of the narrow bed, one hand resting on his chest. His other arm held Mason, who was using Chris’ shoulder as a pillow, to him tightly.
You paused beside them to take in just how adorable they were before leaning over to gently shake Chris awake. You didn’t have the heart to leave him as he was, knowing how uncomfortable he’d be in the morning having slept in this position.
His eyes fluttered open and you leant down to kiss him lightly.
'Hey babe, didn’t want you to be sore in the morning, although the two of you are the cutest things I’ve ever seen in my life.’
'Thanks sweetheart,’ came the drowsy reply.
Chris came round slowly and realised where he was. He ever so carefully slid Mason’s head on to his pillow and stood up, taking care not to jostle the bed too much.
You leant over to press your lips to Mason’s forehead and followed Chris to your bedroom. You did a quick brush of your teeth and swiped the majority of your make up off with a face wipe before stripping down to your underwear and heading for bed.
'Was he okay?’ you asked as you climbed in under the sheets next to your husband.
'Yeah, he’s fine now,’ Chris pulled you to him, already beginning to drift off having not really fully woken up from his nap in Mason’s room, 'I’ll tell you the full story in the morning but we had a good chat about what happened when we found out we were having him.’
'I hope you showed him the screenshot and the video,’ you replied, beginning to fall to sleep yourself.
'Yeah, he knows all about it now.’
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@yuriplisetsky is a size queen
Otabek Altin/Yuri Plisetsky
2,900 words
“What are you talking about?”
“Your Twitter? Your thread that spends about ten tweets waxing poetry about the size of my dick? Everyone’s talking about it, the fans are going crazy, I had Victor ringing me up half an hour ago to ask if it was true and if I really had deflowered Russia’s Fairy like that, and I just – what the hell were you thinking, Yuri?”
In which Yuri gets drunk and Tweets some things he probably shouldn't have.
AO3 link
So @94mercy made this post that headcanoned that Yuri gets drunk one night and talks about the size of Otabek’s dick on social media, and I immediately knew I had to write it. Otherwise known as me just wanting to join in with all the hung!Otabek content that’s been coming out of this fandom in recent weeks.
(Also tagging @daddybek because that’s where this all started back in February)
They’ve been dating for a few months when it happens.
Yuri goes round to Mila’s for a few drinks after practice one day, and they steadily make their way through a bottle of vodka, laughing and talking about their respective partners. The music is loud and Yuri feels all loose and giggly as he reaches for his phone, taking selfies and documenting their escapades on Snapchat. He’s never been this drunk before, so drunk he’s not even sure what order his memories from the last few hours go in, so drunk that he can barely stand, so drunk that the room is spinning.
He sits down and opens Twitter, starting to type. He doesn’t even think about what he’s Tweeting, just starts a thread and keeps on going until he gets it all off his chest. Mila is grabbing at his hands and pulling him up so they can dance together again, and Yuri’s phone lies on the couch, forgotten.
So he doesn’t see what he’s done until morning.
-
It’s the sound of his phone vibrating loudly on the bedside table that wakes him up. He’s in Mila’s spare bedroom, a small sized room with what feels like the most uncomfortable bed he’s ever slept on, but it evidently didn’t bother him at whatever time he collapsed onto last night. At least he made it into bed, he supposes. That’s an achievement, even if he’s still wearing yesterday’s clothes.
He grabs at his phone, squinting at the screen. It reads 6 AM, and is somehow fully charged, even though he has doesn’t remember plugging it in last night. It’s far too early. Yuri wants nothing more at this particular moment in time than to roll over and go back to sleep to avoid dealing with this hangover from hell, but it’s Otabek that’s calling him, so he supposes that he’d better answer.
“Hello?” he says, his voice sounding all croaky as he unplugs his phone and rolls back onto his back. There’s light streaming in through a gap in the curtains, and Yuri would get up and close them properly, but they’re too far away to deal with right now. Instead, he opts for the easier option: pulling his blankets over his head.
“Yuri, what the fuck?” Otabek asks on the other end of the line. Even in this still half drunk, hungover state, Yuri can tell that this is Not Good. “What were you thinking?”
“What are you talking about?” Yuri replies. He wonders if it’s about his and Mila’s Snapchat stories, but from what he can remember there’s nothing too outrageous on them, just some really bad singing in questionable English to pop songs neither of them like.
“Your Twitter? Your thread that spends about ten tweets waxing poetry about the size of my dick? Everyone’s talking about it, the fans are going crazy, I had Victor ringing me up half an hour ago to ask if it was true and if I really had deflowered Russia’s Fairy like that, and I just – what the hell were you thinking, Yuri?”
Yuri fumbles with his phone, opening Twitter with his phone call with Otabek still active in the background. He doesn’t even need to go onto his profile to see it, it’s all over his timeline. “Oh, shit,” he swears as he scrolls through the Tweets. “I don’t even remember posting any of this. I was so drunk, Beka. So drunk. I’m sorry.”
-
Yuri Plisetsky @yuriplisetsky · 5h ago
Alright buckle in its gonna be a bumpy ride let me tell you a thing or two about the size of @otabekaltin’s dick
Yuri Plisetsky @yuriplisetsky · 5h ago
I hope you’re ready bc I sure as hell wasn’t the first time I saw it – tho in fairness he did warn me about it beforehand
Yuri Plisetsky @yuriplisetsky · 5h ago
But I’m gonna be honest here and say I had to take a moment when we did somethinh sexual for the first time bc girl, I couldn’t’ cope
Yuri Plisetsky @yuriplisetsky · 5h ago
Shall we talk about the time he fucked me for the first time?
Yuri Plisetsky @yuriplisetsky · 5h ago
YES WHAT A WONDERUFL IDEA KETS CARRY ON TALKING ABOUT THE SIZE OF MY BOYF’S DICK FOR THE NEXT TEN MINUTS
Yuri Plisetsky @yuriplisetsky · 5h ago
After all of the prep (srsly ive never seen so much lube lmao) he finally entered me (is that even the right word idk I’m so drunk rn)
Yuri Plisetsky @yuriplisetsky · 5h ago
I’ve never felt so full in my whole life it was SO GOOD 10/10 WOULD RECOMMEND (although hands off he’s mine)
Yuri Plisetsky @yuriplisetsky · 5h ago
honestly tho I swear the sex gets better every time? He REALLY know what he’s doing with that thing let me tell you
Yuri Plisetsky @yuriplisetsky · 5h ago
I did once ask if he needed a licence for it, he didn’t take it well lmao. Anyway, tl;dr: @otabekaltin’s dick is a godsend and
Yuri Plisetsky @yuriplisetsky · 5h ago
I am forever grateful that I’ve got to experience such a masterpiece so many different times in so many different positions
Christophe Giacometti @c_giacometti · 5h ago
Replying to @yuriplisetsky, @otabekaltin
Holy mother of god is this true? PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS TRUE
Yuri Angels @yuriangels10 · 5h ago
Replying to @yuriplisetsky, @otabekaltin, @c_giacometti
AHAHAHA WE’VE BEEN SAYING THIS FOR AGES WE CAN’T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING
-
“Yeah, I figured, from the numerous spelling mistakes and yours and Mila’s Snapchat stories from last night,” Otabek says, sighing. “But that doesn’t make this okay, Yuri.”
“I know,” Yuri says miserably as he continues to scroll through the shit storm that’s taken over his Twitter. “Do you want me to delete the tweets?”
“I’m not sure what good that’ll do at this stage,” Otabek says. “They’ve already been screenshotted and reposted too Tumblr and Instagram and Facebook so many times that deleting the original tweets doesn’t mean that people will stop talking about it.”
“True,” Yuri agrees. He hasn’t checked Tumblr yet but he already feels like the Yuri Plisetsky tag will be trending on there, full of screenshots taken from Twitter and detailed posts discussing it all. Instagram will be full of people screaming in the comments, and Facebook will have people criticising his decision to share this all on the internet for everyone to see. No doubt someone has already put together a compilation video on YouTube of closeups of Otabek’s crotch with Yuri’s tweets edited onto it. “I can’t apologise enough for all of this. I’m so sorry.”
-
russian fairy @plsetsky · 4h ago
@yuriplisetsky is a size queen
Jenna @xxknifeshoesxx · 4h ago
Replying to @plsetsky
I can’t believe that this is confirmed, what the hell
skate away @quadloop · 4h ago
Replying to @plsetsky, @xxknifeshoesxx
Is it just me that rlly wants to know just how big Otabek is now?
russian fairy @plsetsky · 4h ago
Nah (I mean it might be bordering the slightly creepy territory but still, SOMEONE FETCH THE GUY A TAPE MEASURE)
-
“I know,” Otabek says. “I’m not happy that this has happened, but it has, so we’ll deal with it – oh no, Victor’s just messaged in the group chat.”
-
Victor: EXPLAIN YOURSELVES
Victor: [multiple screenshots of Twitter threads]
Yuri: …
Yuri: why the hell should we have to explain ourselves to you two??!
Victor: BECAUSE IT SEEMS LIKE EVERYONE IN THE SKATING WORLD IS TALKING ABOUT THE SIZE OF OTABEK’S DICK AND HOW MUCH YOU LOVE IT AND WHY DID YOU POST THIS ALL ONTO TWITTER?
Yuri: jesus
Yuri: stop yelling
Yuri: I was drunk and said some things on twitter, it’s not a big deal
Victor: It very clearly is!
Victor: Yakov is going to have your head off over this, I’m surprised he hasn’t called you yet
Victor: If you thought he was mad at you after Welcome To The Madness, then you’ve really got another thing coming
Yuri: I can handle yakov thank you
Otabek: I’d make a joke about how if you can handle my dick you can handle anything but somehow I don’t think that would be appreciated
Yuri: oh my god beka
Victor: You’re right, it wouldn’t be appreciated
Yuuri: Maybe
Yuuri: Maybe it doesn’t matter because they’re both consenting adults and what goes on behind closed door isn’t anyone’s business but theirs?
Victor: Yuuri I love you but that’s not the point
Victor: They’re going to get people going on about this for months, in interviews, in articles, online… it’ll come back to haunt you in five years’ time at a party when someone’s flicking through their camera roll and finds the tweets and is like, “oh wow who remembers when?”
Yuri: alright I get it my tweets are a ghost that’ll come back to haunt me
Yuri: can we all please calm down I really don’t want to deal with this rn
Victor: Is that because you’re hungover? Well you should’ve thought about that before you got drunk and posted a bunch of stupid tweets to twitter!
Yuri: *true, not stupid
Yuri: and stfu victor
Yuri: no one cares what you have to say
-
Phichit Chulanont @phichit_chu · 3h ago
I’M YELLING pic.twitter.com/t35v5f
Phichit Chulanont @phichit_chu · 3h ago
Someone should get yuri drunk more often this is GOLD
Mila Babicheva @mila_b · 20m ago
Replying to @phichit_chu
I honestly don’t know if I should be apologising or not
Phichit Chulanont @phichit_chu · 20m ago
Noooo! Definitely not lmao I WANT TO KNOW ALL THE SECRETS
-
registered yuri angel no 4525 @slicetheice · 10m ago
@yuriplisetsky is this banana bigger than otabek’s dick? pls respond pic.twitter.com/235g5y
registered yuri angel no 4525 @slicetheice · 10m ago
@yuriplisetsky is this cucumber bigger than otabek’s dick? pls respond pic.twitter.com/43qg5
registered yuri angel no 4525 @slicetheice · 10m ago
@yuriplisetsky is this aubergine bigger than otabek’s dick? pls respond pic.twitter.com/4gaf35
registered yuri angel no 4525 @slicetheice · 9m ago
@yuriplisetsky is this leek bigger than otabek’s dick? pls respond pic.twitter.com/98rga3
registered yuri angel no 4525 @slicetheice · 9m ago
@yuriplisetsky is this can of dry shampoo bigger than otabek’s dick? pls respond pic.twitter.com/257g23
registered yuri angel no 4525 @slicetheice · 9m ago
@yuriplisetsky is this chair leg bigger than otabek’s dick? pls respond pic.twitter.com/5gsgj1
registered yuri angel no 4525 @slicetheice · 8m ago
@yuriplisetsky is this table leg bigger than otabek’s dic? pls respond pic.twitter.com/43tg83
registered yuri angel no 4525 @slicetheice · 8m ago
@yuriplisetsky is this branch bigger than otabek’s dick? pls respond pic.twitter.com/6grg24
registered yuri angel no 4525 @slicetheice · 8m ago
@yuriplisetsky is this tree bigger than otabek’s dick? pls respond pic.twitter.com/7gr32t
Yurabek For Life @yurabek4life · 6m ago
Replying to @slicetheice
@yuriplisetsky is this dildo bigger than otabek’s dick? pls respond pic.twitter.com/24gw46
registered yuri angel no 4525 @slicetheice · 6m ago
u ruined it
registered yuri angel no 4525 @slicetheice · 6m ago
gtfo my thread
-
There’s a knock on the bedroom door and Mila enters, a glass of water in one hand and her phone in the other. Her hair is messy and she obviously didn’t get around to taking off her makeup last night, as her eyeliner and mascara is smudged around her eyes and what’s left of her foundation is decidedly patchy.
“Hey,” she says quietly, walking forward and placing the glass on the bedside table. “Thought you could probably do with a glass of water.”
“Thanks,” Yuri mumbles, reaching for the glass and taking a few small sips. Though his phone call with Otabek has now ended, they’re continuing to text as they both keep an eye on what’s happening on social media. Victor keeps texting him too, and Yakov keeps calling him, but Yuri is ignoring those. He doesn’t need a lecture right now.
Mila shuffles on her feet, pulling the sleeves of her hoodie over her hands. “I’m sorry,” she says quietly, looking down at the carpet rather than at Yuri. “I never should’ve got you that drunk last night.”
“You do realise I don’t really give a shit, right?” Yuri replies. Mila’s head snaps up and she stares at him, brow furrowed.
“What?” she asks, confused.
“I don’t care, Mila,” Yuri says. “Maybe in a perfect world I wouldn’t have posted those tweets and sent the figure skating fandom into a meltdown, and maybe people at Google questioning wouldn’t be wondering why there’s been a sudden increase in people Googling what the average penis size in Kazakhstan is, but it’s not the end of the world. Otabek wasn’t best pleased at first but I think he’s getting over it now. If anything, it’s just given everyone another reason to be jealous of the fact that I’m dating him.”
Mila scoffs, a smile spreading across her face. “You’re something else, Plisetsky,” she says. “Are you going to tell me, then?”
“Tell you what?” Yuri asks, feigning ignorance as he continues to scroll through Twitter. He’s trending, but he’s not exactly sure how he’s supposed to feel about that given the circumstances.
“How big he is, of course!”
“Fuck no. Get out my room.”
“Technically speaking –”
“Did I fucking stutter?”
-
17 missed calls from Yakov
Yakov: What on earth is going on
Yakov: I hope you have a reasonable explanation for all of this
Yakov: I am concerned about that boy’s influence on you
Yakov: Please answer your phone calls
Yakov: Answer the phone when I call you!
Yakov: ANSWER THE PHONE!!
-
Otabek Altin retweeted
russian fairy @plsetsky · 5h ago
@yuriplisetsky is a size queen
Otabek Altin @otabekaltin · 1m ago
Replying to @plsetsky
Hell yes he is. ;) #yurisizequeen
Yuri Plisetsky @yuriplisetsky · 30s ago
Replying to @plsetsky, @otabekaltin
#yurisizequeen CONFIRMED
-
Worldwide Trends · Change
#yurisizequeen
@yuriplisetsky and @otabekaltin are Tweeting about this
General Election
UK General Election ends in hung parliament
The King and The Skater III
@phichit_chu is Tweeting about this
#mysearchhistory
What’s the weirdest thing you’ve Googled?
Kazakhstan’s Hero
Otabek Altin is now being celebrated for entirely different reasons than the ones you’re thinking of
#thebigmeat
1,257 Tweets
-
Yuri Plisetsky
@yuriplisetsky
Gold medallist Russian figure skater. Otabek Altin’s boyfriend. Size queen.
St Petersburg
Joined March 2014
Born March 1
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Phichit Chulanont @phichit_chu · 10m ago
@yuriplisetsky YOU UPDATED YOUR BIO AND I’M YELLING
Yuri Plisetsky @yuriplisetsky · 10m ago
Replying to @phichit_chu
I was just showing who I am
Christophe Giacometti @c_giacometti · 8m ago
This whole thing is making my day #yurisizequeen @otabekaltin so how well does he take it?
Otabek Altin @otabekaltin · 8m ago
Now that would be telling ;)
Christophe Giacometti @c_giacometti · 7m ago
Is that code for “I’ve never had anyone take it so well before”?
Yuri Plisetsky @yuriplisetsky · 5m ago
Why must I be exposed in this way
Phichit Chulanont @phichit_chu · 4m ago
You exposed yourself
Yuri Plisetsky @yuriplisetsky · 2m ago
…true
-
Yuri: I’m never drinking with you again.
Mila: Yeah, whatever you say
Mila: I will get you drunk again and get you to spill your secrets all over Twitter
Yuri: NEVER
Yuri: NOT HAPPENING
Mila: Sure, keep telling yourself that
Mila: So, you want to have a few drinks next Friday?
Yuri: …
Yuri: Fine. I’m in.
-
Yuri’s been back at his apartment for a few hours, doing nothing more than curling up on the couch and watching Netflix and contemplating if he can stomach food yet when the doorbell rings. He stares at the door for a few moments, confused, because he no one’s told him they’re coming around. Maybe he left something at Mila’s and she’s decided to drop it off when running errands or something. Sighing, he pauses Netflix, drags himself off the couch and shuffles to the door, his blanket wrapped round his shoulders like a cape.
“What the hell are you doing here?” Yuri demands when he opens the door and sees Otabek of all people standing there. “You decided to just hop on the next plane to St Petersburg or something?”
“Um, yeah,” Otabek mumbles, brushing a hand through his hair as a faint blush spreads across his cheeks. With his other hand, he holds up a bag from the local convenience store. “I also got food. Wanted to make sure you were actually going to eat something today.”
Through the thin white plastic of the bag, Yuri spots a familiar label. “You got me Pringles.” They’re one of his favourite foods that he’s not really supposed to eat when he’s training, but they’re also what he really wants right now.
Otabek grins. “I did.”
“Have I told you how much I love you recently?” Yuri asks, making a grab for the bag. Looking like a kid at Christmas, he takes the lid off the Pringles and tears at the paper/foil one, before taking several crisps out of the tube and putting them all into his mouth at once.
“Well, you’ve told the world about how much you love my dick, but apart from that, no, I don’t think so.”
“Oh my god, shut up,” Yuri says through a mouthful of crisps, rolling his eyes. “Come on, get in here.”
-
Yuri Plisetsky @yuriplisetsky · 13m ago
Look who flew all the way from Almaty just to be here! ♥♥ pic.twitter.com/36uhghefh5
Otabek Altin @otabekatlin · 12m ago
Replying to Yuri Plisetsky
It’s good to be back. ♥♥
Christophe Giacometti @c_giacometti · 10m ago
I bet it is ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Yuri Plisetsky @yuriplisetsky · 10m ago
Oh yes ;)
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TAGGGGGGED :3
92 questions 💖 I was tagged by @howellldareyou Welp. Here ya go lads and laddies and mates LAST THING YOU:😯 1. Drink: good old fashioned water😂💦 2. Phone call: uhhhh me mum 3. Text message: 😘currently @logindawn 4. Song i listened to: Daddy Issues - The Neighborhood😜 5. Time you cried: prob yesterday. Or today?😪 HAVE YOU EVER 6. Dated someone twice: nope. As if someone who has already seen the horrors that is me would ever be dumb enough to love me again 7. Been cheated on: no, thankfully 8. Kissed someone and regretted it: no! I kiss Bc I love you☺️ 9. Lost someone special: in so many ways. 10. Been depressed: every day.🌪 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: drunk on life. Threw up in word vomit. LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS 12. BLUe (so many beautiful shades and you can mix it🌈 13. Pastels🌸 14. off-whites 🥚 IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU 15. Made new friends: I think/hope so 16: Fallen out of love: well I mean.. typically I love someone and that love never goes away. It can only -subside-. Leads to a lot of pain😂 17. Laughed until you cried: yES I LOVE LAUGHTER💖 18: Found out someone was talking about you: yea 19: Meet someone who changed you: dEFINITLY 20. Found out who your true friends were: getting there💊 MORE 21. Kissed someone on your facebook: do not have FaceBook. Am I uncool?😂 don’t answer that 22. How many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: doNT HAVE U FACEBOOK STAHP DECEIVING MS 23. Do you have any pets: yepp! They fight but secretly are best friends! Ones a pitbull named Roxie and the other is a troublesome kitty named Shadow (she’s orange. Don’t get yer hopes up). Used to have 3 dogs but two died recently :’( 24. Do you want to change your name?: I don’t know. My name is so common that in school I don’t respond when I hear it anymore lol 25. What did you do on your last birthday: bowling party!! I entertained the whole time and danced to thriller… 26. What time did you wake up: around 9 am. 27. What were you doing at midnight: watching Markiplier play Joy of Creation 28. Name something you can’t wait for: I don’t know :( I don’t hope for much atm 29. When was the last time you saw your mother: a few hours ago before work 30. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: me 31. What are you listening to right now: the white noise of my air conditioner. 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: … don’t remind me of him. But yes. 33, Something that is getting on your nerves: honestly, myself. 35. Most visited site: YouTube SCHOOL 35. Elementary: full of me gaining and losing friends every year😂 - Middle school: red face. Bullies. 36. High school: so far idk. Freshman was so bad… this past year had highs and lows. Luck for junior year 🌄 37. College/university: you thought 38. b l a n k ME Hair color: dirty blonde/light brown + blonde highlights 39. Long hair or short hair: medium 40 .Do you have a crush on someone: … I DONT KNKW DO I. (The answer is probably. Smh.) 41. What do you like about yourself: well. I’ll be working on this answer for a while. I dunno man. 42. Piercings: 2 in each ear! ^u^ 43. Blood type: O POS I THINK! 44. Nickname: Liv. (And now thx to @phandomnerd417 I have the name Livvie 😂❤) 45. Relationship status: single afffff 46. zodiac sign: gemini 47. Pronouns: she/her 48. Fav TV show: ALWAYS SUPERNATURAL. Stranger things is up there tho ;)☺️ 49. Tattoos: none but i want a few like one on my hips/high upper thigh, arms, wrist. ;u; 50. Right or left hand: right FIRST 51. Surgery: the only one I can think of is tonsils - and that was hoRRIBLE. 52. piercing: ears 53. Sport: Kinder-gym (nastics). Then ballet. Then soccer! 55. Vacation: oh man. Uhh. I think Virginia Beach🌊 56. Pair of trainers (sneakers): How am I supposed to remember?? 57. Eating: boob food. 58. Drinking: still. I prob drank my mom’s milk😂 59. I’m about to: ARE THESE CURRENT NOW?? I’m about to be done with this tag it’s so long 😂 60. Listening to: the sound of my brother screaming in his live stream. FUTURE THINGS 61. Waiting for: my happiness to return. 62. Want: everyone to feel loved and happy and not alone 💖💖💖 63. Married: to everyone I adore tbh 64. Career: I don’t know yet YOUR TYPE 65. Hugs or kisses: HUGGGGGS🌺 66. Lips or eyes: eyes 67. Shorter or taller: taller 68. Older or younger: older or same age 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: idk physical bodies are only a shell to carry your soul. I’ll love you despite any body you’re in ;u; 71. Sensitive or loud: hmm. Maybe a lil of both X3 72. Hook-up or relationship: I prefer relationships. I’m too clingy for just a hookup 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: hmm. Again a cool balance of both 😂 74. Kissed a stranger: prob 75. Drank hard liquor: no I’m a goody two shoes smh😂 although I’ve stolen a lollipop out of a free box befoRE! 76. Lost contact lenses/glasses: I have both. Oh is this still someone I’d go for?? Either is cute 🤗 77. Turned someone down: uhhh. Hmm. As in dating?? I think so… 78. Sex on first date: I don’t think so, sorry 79. Broken someone’s heart: yea. I think. I hate to even imagine though 😰😢 80. Had your heart broken: o hell ya 81. Been arrested: nope 82. Cried when someone died: do fictional characters count?? No one that I emotionally invested in irl has died yet. 83. Fallen for a friend: hahahhHAHAHAHAHA HAHA. HA. What. Nn-no… okay yes. DO YOU BELIEVE IN 84. Yourself: noPITY NOPE 85. Miracles: sometimes :’) 86. Love at first sight: maybe 87. Santa claus: oF COURSE HES MY GOD 88. Kiss on first date: well I have so yea😂 89. Angels: Castiel. That’s all. Maybe Luci or Gabe ;) OTHER 90. Current best friend’s name: I don’t know sometimes I worry I have no best friend and maybe just a bunch of good close friends?? 91. Eye color: dark blue. I hate it. I wish they were light and pretty 92. Fav movie: my sex tape… WUT. Jk.
i tag all these loves:::::: @phandomnerd417 @perhaps-trees-and-tea @blurryfaceanna @youaretypical @wiredaddiction17 @flaminghotcheetossss @logindawn
And of course anyone who is feeling pretty ambitious and ready for a tag!! 🤗✨🌻
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White Wedding Ch 24
Cersei was not going to scream. First that... horrid woman had landed her horrid helicopter on the grass, ruining Cersei’s entrance (you only get one shot to make a first impression unless you roofie somebody, and how was she going to drug the entire party?!) and then she had the gall, the unbelievable gall to wear red! Red was the Lannister color! CERSEI WAS WEARING RED!
There would be vengeance. Oh there would be vengeance.
“Cersei, darling!” Cassana Baratheon called, sweeping her into the lightest breeze of an embrace as she air kissed her cheeks. “Don’t you look just like Joanna! A little plumper, but really the spitting image!”
Plumper?! PLUMPER?!
“I love your dress,” Cersei gave her a mega-watt smile. “It’s so refreshing to see women of a certain age embracing today’s fashion.”
Cassana laughed, and hooked her arm into Cersei’s.
“Let’s get a glass of wine my dear. Something better than this dreadful vintage they’re passing around.”
Cersei inwardly seethed. Of course the vintage was rather dreadful, she’d told that tart Tysha Crofter she didn’t want anything younger than her, but STILL!
“Assuming you’re still drinking,” Cassana Baratheon arched an eyebrow and their audience tittered.
“Still drinking,” Cersei assured her, and mentally apologized to the biscuit. “Although in my experience, it’s rather hard to keep up with the Baratheons on that score.”
“Robert does love his vices,” Cassana replied, giving her arm a little squeeze just to be clear which vices she was referring to.
They had gotten to the bar. As Cassana hailed the bartender, Varys hurried over, beads of sweat dotting his bald head.
“Moonboy has backed out,” he hissed in an undertone.
“What?!” Cersei reeled.
“He said his agent got him a gig last minute at the National Theater doing stand up! He’ll be the first stand up comedian in history to perform at the National Theater!”
“Last minute? They book their performers years in advance! And it’s all wrong... they do ballet and musicals and.. what am I missing?!”
“What you’re missing,” Cassana handed Cersei a glass of Merlot. “Is that I’m on the board of the National Theater. Drink up sweetie, you look so pale. I didn’t want to say this in front of everybody, but I’m not sure red is your color. I think you would have been better off in a nice forest green.”
Cersei drained her glass in one go.
“Why I’m rather surprised that Robert can keep up with YOU!” Cassana smiled.
Cersei wiped a droplet of wine from her lip and glared.
How was she supposed to make front page of the tabloids if she didn’t have a blow out fight? She knew all the classier outlets would carry her party anyway, but for the Daily Raven and Yes! she needed some whiff of scandal that the other papers and magazines would be too refined to mention.
First things first. Steffon and Tywin was a disaster in the making. She went to the treehouse, which was always where Robert and Stannis had retreated when they were grubby little boys who couldn’t handle a girl beating them at laser tag. Saying it was unfair that she had swapped out her and Jaime’s guns for pellet guns. Please.
Sure enough there they were, along with Renly (unsurprising) and Melisandre (a bit surprising). Maybe Melisandre hadn’t been lying when she said how much she enjoyed helping with the wedding? That one was hard to read. Probably she was just sad that her relationship with Stannis wasn’t as advanced as Cersei’s with Robert’s. Yes that must be it. She was hoping Stannis would propose soon, and had a touch of wistful envy when surrounded by the majesty of Cersei’s wedding. Cersei benevolently decided to give Stannis a kick in the pants by tossing her bouquet to Melisandre. If nothing else, it would spark a conversation.
That problem dispatched, Cersei hurried back to the lawn. Marillion was supposed to serenade Cersei on the steps, just a teaser of his concert before the fireworks (gods she still needed to do something about that helicopter). She artfully arranged herself next to the flowers, waiting for the spotlights that would train on her and the singer at his piano, composing her features into demure delight.
On cue, the spotlights flickered on. Well, not exactly. One spotlight flickered on.
Cassana Baratheon, dramatically illuminated as she sat at the piano.
There was a ripple of applause through the audience and she smiled.
“As some of you know,” her voice, technologically amplified, echoed mellifluously across the grounds. How the fuck had she gotten mic’ed?! Cersei, alone and abandoned on the steps, clenched her fists.
“As some of you know, I am a classically trained pianist and opera singer. It was actually at my debut as the lead singer in Florian and Jonquil that I met Steffon and he swept me off my feet. The rest, as they say, is history.”
There was again a murmur of appreciation from the assembled guests. Cersei’s expression of demure delight slipped into a scowl. Had she known that? It certainly explained a great deal about Renly. And she supposed that on the few occasions that Robert had broken into drunken karaoke with the car radio, she remembered thinking that he had a remarkably good voice. And now that she was really thinking about it, all of the Baratheons, even Stannis, were quite good dancers. Still, lead singer, big whoop.
“In honor of my son’s engagement and his beautiful bride,” Was that a hint of sarcasm? SHE WASN’T PLUMP! “I’d like to dedicate this song to them.”
Cassana sat down to the piano and began a beautiful haunting melody.
“High in the halls of the kings who are gone...”
Cersei, utterly forgotten, decided to refill her glass of wine. Even if she had no intention of drinking it, it would subtly reinforce the idea that she had been drinking, ergo was not pregnant.
At the bar, she googled Cassana Baratheon. Just a bunch of the usual philanthropy garbage. Breaking ground on an orphanage? Really? So nineteenth century. She tried to remember Cassana’s maiden name. Estermont, wasn’t it?
Cassana Estermont had been the youngest prima donna in Westerosi history. Her debut, in The Wildling, had broken attendance records for the King’s Landing opera house, rave reviews, world tours, the usual nonsense. Cersei ground her teeth and shoved her phone back in her pocket.
Trying to put as much distance between herself and that... witch as possible, Cersei began to push through the crowd. She was only stopped briefly by Brienne (poor dear looking quite out of her element) and then she was alone, staring that thrice-damned helicopter.
“I thought she sounded rather flat, didn’t you?” Renly sniffed, coming to join her.
“We have to make allowances for singers who are past their prime,” Cersei said haughtily. Renly gave an uncharitable snort.
“I’ve handled Tywin. I suspect Robert’s coming over now to tell you dad has been dealt with.”
“Well it’s a start. Meet me back here in half an hour, I’ll corral Tyrion and we’ll discuss the next phase of the plan.”
“All these potential agents, and of course Mother steals the spotlight! LITERALLY! I saw her having the staff move the equipment!”
Renly stomped off, only to be replaced by Petyr, swallowing nervously.
“Should I even ask what happened to Marillion?” Cersei said dully.
“Gig at King’s Landing Observatory.”
“And Cassana Baratheon is on the board?”
“Chairwoman.”
Cersei nodded absently. Robert had finally arrived and wrapped her into a hug from behind. Petyr took the opportunity to run, the little weasel. Naturally Robert had one thing on the brain.
“Relax? RELAX?!” Cersei hissed. “Robert, Petyr just told me that your mother poached Marillion to keep him from upstaging HER at MY party! She’s already cancelled Moonboy, and if we don’t get press today, it’s over! This is our last best chance to get Vogue! And Cassana Baratheon is RUINING EVERYTHING!!!”
She paused for a breath. Robert only gave her a pleasantly puzzled smile which meant he’d heard one word in ten. Cersei sighed and pecked him on the cheek. It was a good thing he was pretty.
Having dispatched him to find a way to move that gods damned chopper, Cersei started to leave only to bump into her brother. The brother not in love with a whore.
She assured Jaime she would take care of THAT problem, as she half dragged him into the house. She had very little time here to give Jaime their mother’s ring, but she also could hardly pass up an opportunity like this one. Of course Jaime had to go and get all maudlin on her. It was just the cut of the ring would really look much nicer on Brienne than it would on Cersei. And Cersei had wanted to design her own ring anyway. And yes she knew in every bone of her body that Joanna Lannister would have ADORED Brienne. She didn’t see why Jaime had to make such a big deal of everything and drag Robert into it.
The moment he left, she hurried back toward the wine cellar, positive that would be where the brother who WAS in love with a whore was lurking. Sure enough, she caught him mooning over a text from that sommelier slut.
“Tyrion, we have to stop father from killing Steffon Baratheon. Can you help?”
The little monster immediately closed his phone and got up to follow her, and Cersei felt a surge of affection for him. A surge of affection that was strongly tied to an all-consuming rage for anyone who might toy with his heart.
“We’re going to meet with Renly and I’ll explain the plain,” she said curtly.
“How’s everything else going?”
“A complete disaster. It’s just too vexing for words! I can’t believe none of the staff here can fly a helicopter! I would have thought that at least Westerling...” Cersei pursed her lips. Westerling had been distraught not to be able to assist, but she really had to put her foot down when he’d proposed dedicating the next two hours to learning how to fly through YouTube videos. Good help was just too hard to find to risk losing the man.
“Just accept that you’re going to have to ask Steffon to repark his vehicle. Maybe you can make an announcement. ‘Will the owner of the corporate helicopter obnoxiously parked on the lawn please move their vehicle?’” Tyrion snickered, mismatched green eyes lighting up in good humor.
“Everything’s a joke with you!” Cersei scolded. Didn’t he understand this was life and death? Vogue hung in the balance! “Look, can I at least borrow your phone?”
“Fine, here,” Tyrion handed it to her. It was a simple matter to open his thread with Tysha, give her strict instructions for a naked rendez-vous, then delete the brief convo and hand the phone back to Tyrion with him none the wiser.
When they emerged back on the lawn, she immediately saw that the helicopter had been moved, thank the gods. Occasionally Robert did surprise her. She gave Tyrion his marching orders, Renly his marching orders, Robert some marching orders for good measure. And then Westerling rang the bells for dinner.
She eyed the crowd moving toward the courtyard broodingly. Everybody seemed to be having a grand time. But Vogue didn’t cover weddings because people were happy and their guests had a grand time. She needed an edge. What was her edge?
Cersei noted with some horror that the Tyrells were moving to the table directly next to their own. She had specifically put Olenna Tyrell as far as humanly possible from their entire family. Brienne had even double checked! And Ned was going toward the Tully family table... she had promised Robert he and Cat would sit with the Starks! What was this... this... chaos?!
“I moved a few of the placecards around a bit, I hope you don’t mind,” Cassana Baratheon placed her hand on Cersei’s shoulder. “I know how... irrationally territorial some people can get about these things...”
Cersei eyed the hand on her person and contemplated what it would look like taxidermied and hung over her mantelpiece.
“Of course I don’t mind,” she smiled sweetly. “In fact,” she plucked the hand off her shoulder, and held it in both of her own. “I had something very important I wanted to ask you.”
Cassana looked nonplussed, but the crowd she’d gathered around her as witnesses to ask whether Cersei would be a territorial bitch about the placecards hadn’t gone anywhere.
“Anything darling. We’re family now,” she said and touched her hair to make sure it fell just right for the camera snap.
“I was wondering,” Cersei bit her lip. “Oh I couldn’t. It’s too much to ask.”
Cassana and her high society minions all looked intrigued.
“Would you... would you consider coming out of retirement to sing at my wedding?”
Cassana hesitated for a second, suspicion clouding her features. Cersei could almost see the gears turning behind her tastefully Botoxed and dermabrased mask of a face. The lure of more attention, all eyes on her, the chance to play the gracious mother of the groom, the accolades...
“I would be delighted,” Cassana squeezed her hands. And Cersei was willing to bet those were the first sincere words to pass her lips all night.
“Oh Cersei, where is your engagement ring?” Cassana suddenly asked. Cersei blinked at her bare finger.
“Don’t tell me there’s trouble in paradise already!” Cassana tittered.
“Of course not,” Cersei said smoothly. “Just a sizing issue.”
“It’s so hard for women with fat fingers, nothing fits,” Cassana patted her.
Cersei would have been infuriated if she weren’t busy wondering when in the seven hells she was going to be able to look for her ring on top of dealing with Tysha and meeting with Varys. It must have slipped off in the grass somewhere. Somebody would find it, surely? She would get Westerling on the job first thing tomorrow otherwise. He would be out there with a fine-toothed comb if necessary.
She sat down at the head table still reeling over the latest wrinkle.
Her father and her numerous aunts and uncles and cousins were all present, as was Tyrion. Jaime and Brienne were conspicuously absent.
“Poor girl has probably given him the heave-ho after his disgraceful performance tonight,” Aunt Genna stabbed her filet viciously. “I would castrate any man that did that to me,” she continued, this directed at poor scrawny Uncle Emmon who fairly shivered in his seat.
“Quite right dear,” he said immediately. Cersei was rather fond of her Aunt Genna.
“Where is Tyrek?” Uncle Tygett frowned and looked around. Tyrion sputtered and choked on his wine. Cersei scanned the cousins indifferently. Was that pimply one not Tyrek?
“I’m rather impressed that we’re halfway through his daughter’s engagement party and old Tywin hasn’t smiled once,” Olenna Tyrell’s light laugh floated over from the next table. Her father’s eyes narrowed, and Cersei kicked Tyrion. Best to move up the timetable.
“Father,” Tyrion began hesitantly. Tywin was still glaring at Olenna Tyrell. “Tywin!”
That got his attention.
“Steffon Baratheon was hoping to have a drink with you in the library between courses,” Tyrion said brightly. “I told him you’d meet him there.”
“Really Tyrion, I wish you’d consult me before volunteering my time,” Tywin said, nostrils flaring. “I am the host of this event, I can’t just disappear.”
“Don’t worry father, I have it under control,” Cersei patted his hand. He withdrew the hand and fixed her with a glare as well.
“Well off you go,” she said.
There was a lengthy cold stare.
“I will return shortly,” Tywin addressed the table. Amidst the hubbub of typical family feuding, Cersei and Tyrion were probably the only ones who heard him.
Cersei looked over to Renly and gave him a meaningful nod. Then she politely excused herself to take a quick look through the grass for her engagement ring.
There was the merest whisper of a rustle and Varys materialized.
“You texted?” He said smoothly.
“I want you to leak to the appropriate publications that world renowned opera singer Cassana Estermont is coming out of retirement to give a private performance at my wedding,” Cersei instructed curtly, continuing to walk with head bent, scrutinizing the grass. “And tell Petyr to have his camera ready. She’s put Ned at Hoster’s table and he’ll have a front row seat to the show.”
“Of course,” Varys nodded and faded back into the shadows.
Cersei noticed a significant chunk of the trellises had collapsed on the East Wing, and a small army of staff were working to clear the debris. That would be coming out of the Garth Greenhands invoice, she noted to herself. She checked the time. The ring would have to wait.
Exactly three minutes after she had instructed Tysha to meet Tyrion in the cellar, she strolled by and scooped up the girl’s clothing. Including a lacy red thong that had been left hanging on the door handle. Skank.
She shoved her loot into some old chest nobody would ever think to look in and flagged a waiter to initiate the hunt. Then she made it back outside to see Ned Stark landing a tremendous right hook into Hoster Tully’s snarling face, punctuated by a camera burst. Nobody but Lysa noticed Petyr politely excusing himself to touch up the images before he sent them to the Daily Raven.
She allocated Petyr twenty minutes to edit, the Daily Raven thirty minutes to process and post, the world another ten to take the story and run with it.
She sat back down at her table, which had gone rather quiet.
“I heard Stannis Baratheon say that his company is going to beat projected earnings for the third quarter in row,” Cersei mentioned off-handedly to Tyrion.
“Emmon, call our broker,” Genna said.
“Where the hell is my phone,” Gerion patted his pockets.
“I keep telling Tywin we need to expand into shipping,” Kevan announced to the table.
“Mining has been good enough for our family for seven generations!” Tygett pointed at him with his fork, spattering Kevan’s wife Dorna with salad dressing.
“I’d thank you to watch your tone with me!”
“This is silk!” Dorna wailed.
“Blended silk at best,” Darlessa, Tygett’s wife sniffed.
Willem and Martyn seized the chaos to attempt second helpings of dessert, but promptly got into an argument over who could claim the largest eclair.
Cersei sat back and smiled as the volume in the courtyard returned to a dim roar.
Exactly one hour and five minutes after Petyr snapped his photo and thirty four minutes after the Times touted Cassana Estermont’s return, Cersei’s phone buzzed.
Dear Miss Lannister,
We have moved some features in our August edition and are wondering if you would still be interested in a collaboration with Vogue...
Cersei stopped reading and excused herself. Ned had run into the mansion, which meant Robert was doubtlessly somewhere nearby. It was a moment’s work to find him. And as she raked her hands through his shaggy black hair, felt her dress slipping like water off her shoulders, saw the way his stormy blue eyes ignited with a molten heat that she would never not love, Cersei reflected that nothing put her in the mood like winning.
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