#time to start editing chapter 1 hahaha

[ygodmyy20]

Summary:

Shigeo has not used his powers since he was 15, and he plans to keep it that way. Until a run-in with a young, exuberant teen named Reigen tears off his hood. Shigeo then meets Teru and Shou, the co-founders of Claw, an organization created to help young espers grow and thrive. Through these new friendships, Shigeo is exposed to other espers, forced to reckon with his own powers, confront past traumas, and grapple with emotions that he thought he would never experience again. Or Ageswap AU, where Shigeo represses his powers to the point of 100% emotional repression for nearly 10 years, and Reigen decides to be Reigen and shove Shigeo back out the door into reality. Claw is not bad in this AU, they are actually pretty good.

Here we goooooo~!

[333sturns]

strangers to lovers (1)

“HELLO?!”

“matt fucking saw your post aaliyah”

warnings: inappropriate language

a/n: first chapter! hope you guys enjoy.. ! so sorry if it’s disappointing :(

@blogsaaliyahh • • •

♥︎ 244 💬 14 ↗️ 2

liked by itscarolyn003 and others

blogsaaliyahh my week so far (ft my bf) !!

30 minutes ago

js.13.alicia 3m • ♥︎ by author ♥︎

last slide is so real 2

tmplashton 7m • ♥︎ by author ♥︎

absolutely stunning as always 5

view 2 more replies

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you found yourself scrolling immensely through all sorts of social media. trying to cure the boredom that grew throughout your body. you rolled over onto your stomach in defeat, placing your phone down and grabbing your unfinished book.

you figured if you got really into the book, time would pass, and itd be time for bed once you finished. you flipped over to the page you left on and began reading.

as time went by, you found yourself in a whole other position. back against the headboard of your bed and your legs crisscrossed. you had the book almost directly in front of your face. not daring to take your eyes off for even a second.

“what!?” you grumbled, as you turned the page you were met with credits. the book had left you on a cliffhanger. you shut your eyes in frustration while a smile tugged at the corner of your lips.

“now im forced to buy the sequel.”

as the sun began to set, you started looking around for your phone. once you reached over and held it in your grip. you saw over 50 messages from your groupchat. your eyes widened in confusion as your fingers were quick to unlock your phone.

< 21 fairy children 🧚 > 📞

______________________________________________

43 unread 🔼

today, 4:32 pm

ASHTON 👹

LIYA ARE YOU OKAY RIGHT NOW

LIYAAAAAA

carolyn :))

guys she’s probably not breathing

this is not real

ASHTON 👹

girls definitely watching edits

ALI BUG 🫶

dont call her out like that 😭

OK BUT ID BE HYPERVENTILATING TOO

ITS LITERALLY MATT STURNIOLO???!!

what is this tomfoolery ….

why is there like

fifty msgs of ashton yelling

carolyn :))

WELL

YOU MIGHT WANNA CHECK YOUR INSTAGRAM

ASHTON 👹

MATT FUCKING SAW YOUR POST AALIYAH

say sike rn.

youre messing with me

ALI BUG 🫶

not this time 😭😭

today, 5:02 pm

guys immfreaking out eehat the fukc

(+) ( iMessage ) 🎙️

______________________________________________

what. the. fuck.

you quickly sat up from your bed. scrambling your way to open instagram. you closed your eyes and tried keeping your composure. letting out soothing breaths to decrease your incredibly fast heartbeat.

you hesitantly pressed onto your notifications. staring straight at the not one, but the two notifications from matt.

matthewsturniolo, tmplashton, and 20 others liked your post. 21m

matthewsturniolo commented:

Cool hahaha 22m

♡ reply message

the embarrassment quickly grew to your cheeks. making your face flush a light pink. you stared at your screen in awe. trying to quickly process everything before you responded.

your fingers hovered over your keyboard nervously, while you liked his comment, you let out a breath you didnt even realize you were holding. you slowly typed out a response. the excitement building in your stomach.

“HELLO?!”

you threw your phone somewhere along your bed. covering your face with a nearby pillow and muffling your screams and giggles.

“fuckfuckfuckfuck—“

______________________________________________

matthewsturniolo 25m • ♥︎ by author ♥︎

Cool hahaha 14

blogsaaliyahh 2m • author

@mattthewsturniolo HELLO?! ♡

view 7 replies

______________________________________________

half an hour passed and you were now getting ready for bed you. you found yourself smiling to yourself as the only thing running through your mind was his comment.

they have all collectively liked a few of your videos on tiktok. but for it to be on instagram really shocked you to your core. matt wasn’t one to be active on any social platform. he had probably liked atleast 5 videos on your tiktok but that was it.

once you finished organizing your room and getting ready for bed, you went back onto instagram to post a quick story. the story contained a screenshot of his comment, and a text of yours being surprised:

“what tf🙏?!”

@matthewsturniolo

afterwards; you turned off all the lights in your room, connected your phone to the charger, and then tucked yourself into bed. you felt the butterflies in your stomach as you closed your eyes. drifting off to sleep in a matter of seconds.

. . . . . .

matthewsturniolo, paig3doll and others liked your story. 7m

. . . . .

✉️: @zayluvss @toooster @ifwdominicfike @ilusa @faith5drpepper @lvrsturniolo

© 333sturns

[oharaslove]

🅼🅰🆂🆃🅴🆁🅻🅸🆂🆃

summary: Your world thrives with the love of soulmates, two souls destined to each other. Since you were a child, you grew up with the story of how your parents fell in love, only fueling your need and desire to live your own love story. But, what happens when your soulmate doesn't think the same as you? What if he never wants anything with you? Can you change his mind or are you destined to live life in solitude?.

Chapters:

𝑷𝒓𝒆𝒗𝒊𝒆𝒘

𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 1: 𝙇𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙛𝙞𝙧𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙬𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙧

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦✦ . 　⁺ 　. ✦ . ⁺ ✦ ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦✦ . 　⁺ 　. ✦ . ⁺ ✦

𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 2:

𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 3:

𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 4:

𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 5:

𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 6:

𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 7:

𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 8:

𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 9:

𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 10:

𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 11:

𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 12:

𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 13:

𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 14:

𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 15:

𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 16:

𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 17:

𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 18:

𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 19:

𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 20:

𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 21:

𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 22:

𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 23:

𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 24:

𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 25:

𝑬𝒑𝒊𝒍𝒐𝒈𝒖𝒆:

I'll start posting this when I have at least until Chapter 5 done, so I don't keep you guys waiting, and I have time to upload once a week!

Also, I'll post the dates so you know when it's coming.

Edit: This didn't last long, hahaha. I'm really anxious and I am too excited. I will still try to post every week!! But I prioritize quality, so it depends how good I feel that week.

[olliandre]

Explaining the Pit Babe novel (1/2)

If you’ve just seen the drama and you’re curious in what way it differs from the original text, this post is just for you.

So, the story begins exactly like in the drama, there’s a race in which Babe participates and afterwards he meets Charlie lurking around the corners. He tries to chase him away at first but agrees to try him out in the end. Babe tells Charlie to come to his condo later (so they don’t do it near the lockers like in the drama) and because it’s Charlie’s first time, he completely doesn’t know how to start. Babe actually has to show him everything which makes him kind of annoyed, but Charlie doesn’t emit the alfa scent he hates so much, so he takes him on probation as a Babe’s boy.

Babe is actually pretty posessive with Charlie and although they are seeing each other for months, he doesn’t let anyone see his face. They usually cover it when they’re together in public and part of the reason is that it would be problematic if Charlie got harassed because of his relationship with Babe, as he’s a popular racer after all. On the contrary, in the drama Babe takes him to X Hunter’s party on the first day.

Almost half of the story actually doesn’t have anything to do with X Hunter, it’s just Charlie, Babe and their domestic life. Although Babe thinks Charlie’s just a naive, stupid kid, he slowly starts to develop some kind of connection with him. What makes Babe trust Charlie is that in his eyes Charlie is too much of a dumb, sweet person to lie and deceive anybody. His feelings develop gradually, it starts with him feeling restless and bored while Charlie’s not near, making Charlie move in, and buying him a new table, so he can do his editing work comfortably. He lets Charlie do more and more things that he didn’t allow anybody else before. For example, he doesn’t like being called Phi in bed, but he doesn’t complain when Charlie does it. Once, he goes out with his leg injured to pick Charlie up in the rain. And he sulks so much when Charlie doesn’t pay attention to him. Instead of telling him that he wants to spend some time together, he’s walking around dramatically and tries to catch his attention. When they kiss tenderly for the first time while stargazing, Babe’s heart is beating so fast that he can't control himself. He realizes that he has feelings for Charlie. And because Charlie seems not affected by it as much as he is, he gets really angry in his head. He kind of starts to avoid Charlie and doesn't want to have s*x with him because he is too embarrassed to look Charlie in the eyes. Well, Charlie fell for Babe after their first time, so of course it wasn’t that much of a shock for him. Poor Babe.

Generally, Charlie and Babe have lots of s*x. Like, really a lot. Almost every chapter, sometimes multiple times. And it’s quite a kinky s*x. Charlie calls Babe Papa and Babe calls Charlie Daddy. Babe loves when Charlie gets angry in bed, because he likes it rough, and he loves dirty talking. His s*x drive is amazingly big, on the beginning Charlie can't keep up with him. However, Charlie quickly learns how to do it according to Babe’s preferences and later in the story even Babe isn’t sure whether Charlie just tries to please him or he really is into it (probably the second option, hahaha). Babe is a creampie king and later we discover that they have breeding kink too, as they start to call each other Mama and Papa in bed, joking how Charlie’s gonna make Babe pregnant (but outside of bed Babe actually doesn’t want to have children at all as he dislikes them).

Charlie takes care of Babe very well - he cooks him nutritious meals, massages him and does everything Babe wants. On the very beginning Charlie acts all scared and confused since Babe’s getting angry very easily, but he learns with time how to handle him and even how to talk back. They have this agreement that they’ll both take advantage of each other, so nobody is really used. There are lots of acts of jealousy, especially from Charlie’s side, since Babe is open physically with other men, usually his friends. Babe gets angry that he tries to control him, and then Charlie says that if Babe can do it, then he will also meet somebody else, as their contract doesn’t forbid it, which makes Babe even angrier. It’s a recurring problem in their relationship, however one time in the first half of the story they have this angry s*x and agree to only have each other.

There isn’t any kind of big conflict with Babe avoiding Charlie because of jealousy for Jeff, for a long time Babe doesn’t even know of Jeff’s existence. There also is no Red Racing, no Kim, no Dean, Jeff doesn’t work at the garage. The real X Hunter plot starts after Babe gets into accident on the track and Charlie proposes to take his place. Before he only gets a car and is guided by Babe (who shouts at him a lot, because Charlie can’t learn how to get through the corners, hahaha), North and Sonic have to teach Charlie too. The big conflict happens when Babe learns of Charlie’s intrigue - that he’s Tony’s adopted son, he lied to him and took his power away. Initially, Charlie searched for Babe because he heard Tony saying that he’s gonna make someone named Babe have children with Enigma from their house and so, he wanted to save him. But when he got to know Babe, he actually fell for him.

However, for Babe lie is a lie. He chases Charlie away from his condo, ignores his calls and cuts him out of his life. After that Babe tries to find a new sex partner, but he rejects the guy before it goes far, because he realizes that no one will be good but Charlie. He still misses him and wants him by his side, although he is very angry and hurt. At those times Charlie calls Babe everyday on the same hour and Babe picks it up once while drunk. Then both of them get horny and they mast*bate dirty talking to each other, but Babe doesn’t let Charlie to come to him. There’s also this one upsetting scene in which after the race Charlie tries to talk to Babe and Babe decides to give him only a short while. The whole thing ends with Babe facef*cking Charlie who agrees to it, because it’s better than not having Babe in his life at all.

They reconcile after Way confesses his feelings for Babe and gets rejected, so he decides to take Babe by force, using his power to make him unable to move. Way starts kissing and touching him, however Charlie appears in time, using his powers to stop Way and he wakes Babe up. Babe shouts at Way, who admits that he’s an Enigma sent to make him pregnant. He says that after he got to know Babe, he fell for him and decided to wait patiently for Babe to start loving him and wanting to start a family together. Babe feels betrayed by it, because Way should understand and know him more than anybody else, that he never wants to have children. He yells that Way doesn’t even treat him as a person, trying to make him feel like he was so good because he decided not to r*pe him for the last 10 years. Both Charlie and Babe leave Way’s place with Babe in shambles. Charlie keeps his distance from Babe and gives him the space to think things through, organize his feelings after the things that happened.

Babe realizes that although Charlie and Way both lied to him, they got different motives. Way came to harm him and Charlie came to protect him, and that made Babe forgive Charlie. He walks out of his bedroom and sees that Charlie’s watching TV, not sleeping at all. They watch it together in silence and then start talking. Babe gets emotional and asks Charlie to hug him, then to have s*x because he wants to enjoy it again, forget about what Way almost did to him. Unconsciously, he’s nervous and can’t relax while being touched, so Charlie makes him smile with the things he says. In the morning Babe confesses to Charlie (before, his love language was giving three kisses as in I love you) and asks him to be his boyfriend. Charlie is very shocked but he agrees. Babe learns about other powers Charlie has, such as lie detection skill, hunch (he feels that something might happen and asks Jeff to see the future, that’s how he learnt about what Way was about to do), this kinda thing he used on Way and many others. He tells Babe a story from his childhood that he got to know his power of stealing other people’s abilities, because he took his mom’s power away. And after she died, power faded away, so Charlie came up with a theory that maybe it works in the opposite way too - that when Charlie dies, the powers will come back to their original owners. Babe responds that what he gives, he doesn’t take back, which means he doesn’t care about his ability anymore if it means having Charlie die. Such a sweet line, it’s a pity they didn’t use it in the drama. And that’s about the first half of the novel.

A little special:

they’re so funny together

(by the way, it’s confirmed that Charlie’s never used his lie detection power on Babe)

[satureja13]

The Boys got up early. Today is Ji Ho's first Therapy Game session. Ji Ho still supports Jack with his yoga and meditation practice to ease his pain and they convinced Saiwa to join them this morning. It will do him good too.

And while Jack explains the asanas to Sai, Ji Ho is lost in thought. He worries it will hurt Vlad if he marries Caleb ingame. Vlad doesn't deserve this after all he went through because of him.

Ji Ho has to talk about this before he enters the game for the first time. And so he told Sai and Jack about his worries. But Jack reassures him: "Vlad told me to tell you that whatever you do in your therapy is ok for him. Don't worry."

Saiwa: "Even though it is made up as a game, we all have to keep our end goals in mind. All of us. Always. The journey will be the reward. Whatever helps you to - safely - get your feelings back, will also help Vlad. When you're able to overcome your trauma, you will finally be able to love Vlad. And Vlad knows that. So don't hold back because of him."

Saiwa is right. All this madness has to end so Vlad and he can finally be together. Jack: "What happens in the game, stays in the game. Ok?" Haha, Jack is obviously also thinking of Lou and him ^^' Ji Ho: "Ok." But they all agreed that Vlad won't attend when Ji Ho is in his Therapy Game. For his own good.

It's still early and they decided to go for a swim before breakfast and Ji Ho's session. So Ji Ho can relax a bit.

They changed into their swim wear and when Jack turned around, Ji Ho and Saiwa couldn't believe their eyes. The rash on Jack's lower back is gone! Saiwa: "Omg Jack!"

It's still painful as hell when he's not ingame, but his whole body hurts so Jack didn't even notice since when because he doesn't see it! So does the therapy work already or is it because of his steady yoga and meditation practice or because he's apart from Kiyoshi? (Oh my, I know this so well! I try a lot of stuff which is supposed to help me with my condition and when I finally suceed on sth, I have no idea what exactly it was that helped!) He twists and turns but he can't see it ^^' Jack, the puppy chasing his own tail hahaha.

Jack: "I take this as a sign to go for it should Lou hit on me!" Of course he does...

Ji Ho and Saiwa sighed. But they also take it as a good sign: that the Therapy Game will help them. And Sai is determined to enter the game after Ji Ho is back safe and sound. They have to move on. And they'll have to return back home to the others and fix their relationships.

Saiwa and Ji Ho go back to the house to prepare breakfast. And lazy Jack stayed in the water.

Saiwa: "The last one by the house is cleaning the yoga mats!" Jack: "Hey!"

'I really want to see you Really want to be with you Really want to see you, Lord But it takes so long, my Lord

Hare Rama, Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna, Hare Hare'

My sweet Lord - George Harrison

I had this song in my head when I edited this episode and when I looked for it on youtube, I found this short film: 'Official Music Video for George Harrison “My Sweet Lord” In celebration of the 50th anniversary of George Harrison's classic solo album, All Things Must Pass.' It starts with Mark Hamill (Luke Skywalker!) and there are so many other actors I know. Plus Ringo!

From the Beginning  ~  Underwater Love ~  Latest Current Chapter: 🕹️ 'The One' from the beginning ▶️ here 📚 Previous Chapters: Chapters: 1-6 ~ 7-12 ~ 13-16 ~ 17-22 ~ 23-28

[einsatzzz]

KHRe Projects Updates #2

Making another update post because OCtober is over, yippeee!! I'm very proud of the art I've done this month and I think it's also the most I've drawn for an OCtober event. I hope next year I'll be able to draw even more and maybe even complete all 30 days.

And with that out of the way, I'll be jumping back into working 100% on my projects. I'll post less art this month (save for asks if inspo strikes) because I'll be working on them behind the scenes, so I'll mostly be an OC supporter this month and just catch up on everyone's OC stuff that I missed whenever I have a chill time hehehe

Anyway, here's my progress on them so far!

Wiki: I plan on doing a lot of major edits on the wiki this time. I have a few that's already just sitting by on the sandbox pages already. I'll do them topic by topic/page by page, so whenever I make a major update, I'll do a post about it here (or maybe a summary of wiki updates if it's way scattered).

Planned updates this month include adding pages for Yui and then Tsuna (if possible Reborn too! I know they're a package, I'll do my best lmao please don't shoot me, Reborn!). I also plan to add another section under Relationships > Appellations for KHRe-Occurence interactions!

Webcomic: We are so back on this one! For now my initial draft of the chapter order in terms of character debut is more or less finalized. For this first part, I decided to just cover character introductions/focus chapters for now, which I estimate to last for about 12-13 chapters (covering for 15 characters, mix of canon and OC).

I should be able to figure out where to go from that point while drawing chapters 1-13! Daily Life Arc is so important to me, I'm not skipping the good shit 😆💖✨ But I already do have a few more Daily Life Arcs in mind after that and a few mini-arcs.

In terms of assets, I'm just thankful I even managed to put together some 3d assets/references I can use for Namichuu. I also more or less have the whole school mapped. I'll be putting this information in the wiki as well, in case anyone wants to make use of it too. Now I kind of want to make a rough draft of a Namimori map hahaha

Because of this, that scene with Ryohei convincing Hibari to do the trial in the Arco Trials Arc became even more funnier to me lmao 🤣🤣

For target release, if we're just talking about Chapter 1 then definitely this November is doable. But then I lowkey want to get ahead till to around Chapter 3-5 too! I'll think about it more!

My even bigger stupidass problem is I also want to draw a webcomic that's Oniyanagi 1st Gen-centric, but I only have two hands so sjhfshvfgs Making comics is so fun ok??!! I just don't have enough time lmao

For the artstyle, I decided to just use the same brush for the comic I did with Kana and Myell's Entity. The edges for that are smooth enough while still having a pencil-like feel to it, so coloring with the paint bucket tool would be easier. I considered using the pencil brush I'm using for rough sketches right now because I'm faster with those, but yeah, the coloring. I'll also be doing a mostly "Don't look back, just keep drawing" approach, so I don't take 100 years for chapter 1. It won't be 100% clean, but maybe just decently not messy enough? Anyway, I'm still thinking of other ways to be faster at drawing, aside from just increasing my overall stamina 😭😭😭 (I get tired so easily). Time to start lifting Ein! 💪✨

In addition to the main story, watch out for any new KHRe-OCcurrence chapters that I might drop in between 🥰🥰🥰

MV: I'm working on 📺MV and should also finish it within 2-3 months while working on my other stuff (2 weeks if I mentally zoom in & obsess over it somehow). I have the vivid storyboard for the entire thing laid out in my brain now. I think finishing this will hype me up more to draw more webcomic stuff hahahaha You'll know when you see it.

✦•····································•✦•····································•✦

Projects aside, I'll be resuming posting my other commissioned art here again yippeee!! I'm just really super thankful there are people who like my original stuff and interact with me here sfhdvhfvsvf and on the flipside, I'm also super thankful that people share their original stuff with me as well (or at least where I can see!). It takes a lot of courage to share your original works out in public, so it's practically SSR-rank content for me.

I have a few oc-related project/posts (even if it's not khr-related) that I have bookmarked as well, I'll do my best to check them out this month as well! Seeing other people with projects also hypes me up and inspires me, so the more the better! fhsvdfhgvhgdfvds Honestly, this small corner of the internet/tumblr that we have going on is kind of like a comfort place for me now, love ya'll ! 🫶🫶🫶

[irisinthemoon]

Until I Found You, Pt. 7

[Part. 1], [Part. 2], [Part. 3], [Part. 4], [Part. 5], [Part. 6], [Part. 7]

Hey guys! I am so sorry for not updating in such a long time! I actually had this sitting on my drafts for a while but hadn't been to find the time to edit much less to post it. Since I already graduated high school and summer vacation has started, I finally found some time to write the next few chapters along with posting this one. I will try to write as much as I can considering that I will start College in August and I am not sure how much time I will have on my hands.

P.S. To the one who assumed I was dead, I am alive! Hahaha! But that message you sent did make my day. I had a good laugh for a while after reading it.

Summery: The festival is about to start and with that, the NRC students will finally see what has happened to their two companions.

_____________________________________________________________

“Sorry for the inconvenience, I had to deal with a few issues before coming here.” Professor Trein explained. His tone was soft but stern, giving Rollo the impression that the man was someone who was soft but also tough when needed be. “It’s alright Professor Trein, we are just glad that you were able to make it before the last performance.”

Just as Eliott had said, the professor would have managed to make it before the closing performance. To which he could see the older man was glad for. “I thank you. I also hope my students and charges haven't given you too much trouble.”

“None at all, I am glad to have been able to talk to them while we are here.”

It was a lie, Rollo found them quite repulsing. Always relying on magic to save the day, showing it off without any self restraint. Not to mention that darn purple cat that kept sending him mocking smirks each time their eyes locked. 

“Then I am glad.” Guiding the professor to one of the chairs, Rollo then gestures for the other students to follow along. Taking his seat, Professor Trein furrowed his eyebrows when he noticed the lack of two of his charges. “May I ask, where are Shroud and Leblanche?” Once again, Jules jabs Eliott who had snorted. 

“It seems that both of them were taken by these ‘hunters’.” Answered Malleus, still looking confused about the whole ordeal. At this, the professor’s eyes widened in disbelief. He turns to look at Rollo for confirmation. “Yes, we had been on our way to the battle arena so that we wouldn’t run into them. Unfortunately, they had catched on and took Idia and Neige.”

“Will they be alright?”

“Yes, this is a small tradition the City of Flowers has. Once the opening ceremony is over, we will be able to recover your companions.” 

Deuce lets out a dejected sigh. “They will miss the performance then…” This time, it is Rollo who jabs Eliott on the ribs to stop him from snorting. “Worry not, they will have front row seats to it.” Said Jules with a serene (evil) smile. 

He had explained the event as best as he could without revealing the reason as to why they needed to capture two people. Seems like he wanted to make them wonder, or just make them worry more than they already were.

“Is that what they meant by choosing two ‘special and esteemed’ guests?” Asked Ruggie, ears twitching at the noise the crowd was making. Eliott nods, he still looked like he wanted to laugh but was keeping it together. “You can say that, but as Jules had said, they will in no way shape or form be harmed.”

That seemed to settle the professor’s worries.

Taking a seat, Rollo lets himself relax for a moment. Soon he will be able to see you, then once the tour is over with, he and you would be able to relax and spend some time together before his duties get in the way. A nudge from his left snapped him out of his thoughts, turning to face Jules, he gestured for him to speak.

“You alright? Earlier, when Chen’ya was talking to you, you got this angry and moody look on your face. Did something happen?” His peach-haired friend asked, eyes lingering at the cat beast-man who was off talking to Riddle. “Everything is fine, just trying to get on my nerves.” Much like every student that had come as guests since stepping foot into Nobel Bell. Eliott didn’t look convinced, a concern frown on his lips. 

“Do you need us to take over the touring?” Adds Jules from his right, red eyes casting a glance at Azul, who had been looking at them. In a lower voice he said, “We don’t mind, you can spend your day with [name].”

Shaking his head, Rollo puts his hand up in order to stop them from talking. “It’s fine, it’s my duty as student council president to show our guests around.” His eyes lock with Azul’s, who simply gives him a kind smile. One that makes him curl his lip in disgust. Covering his face again with his purple handkerchief, Rollo looks away. “Plus, I promised her she could join us. She wants to meet Yuu and Grim.”

If he could, he would have left the whole ‘greeting guests’ thing off to the welcome committee. They always took care of these kinds of things, but since he had been the one to request for the NRC and RSA students to come here, and so he must be the one to show them around. The City of Flowers hardly let anyone enter, especially when it came to the academy. Only those who got the invitation to attend the academy could get in without a problem.

And those who didn’t go to the academy, had extended family here, or were on business trips, had to get special permission from the chief in charge of the city. Rollo had to play his part, that meant spending time with the guests as much as it killed him. He couldn’t let Jules’s hard work in trying to convince the chief in letting a few guests in, down the drain.

And the idea of just leaving the two other people that he tolerated at best (no matter what you said, he will not call them friends. The Great Seven know Eliott and Jules will tease him about it relentlessly.) to deal with this hot mess of students. Though, he could say Neige and Yuu were about the only decent ones from the group. And yet, Neige’s unnatural kindness sent a shiver down his spine. 

No one should be that kind.

Before any of the two began teasing him about letting you join them, the loud sound of trumpets cut them off. The familiar rhythm of the drums and trumpets make the crowd instantly cheer, and causes him to sit straight, paying full attention into the arena where a bunch or performers come out dressed as villagers. Jules and Eliott instantly quiet down, eyes eager to see the last performance. Much like Rollo, both had been looking forward to seeing you perform. 

“Maybe you've heard of a terrible place where the scoundrels of Paris Collect in a lair.”

The ‘villagers’ began singing in union, walking at the beat of the trombone. The crowd also began to clap along with the beat, some of them even joining on the singing. From the corner of his eyes, he saw the way Epel nodded along. 

“Maybe you've heard of that mythical place of the Court of Miracles!” 

The giant double doors of the battle arena opened up, and in came you strolling on top of Snowflake, a dark red, white, and black jester dress, a matching hat and mask on your persona. You were sitting sideways, guiding the black stallion as he did the mini dance moves with the beat of the music. Your lips were painted a dark deep red, set on a smirk as your eyes looked over the crowd.  

“Hello, you're there!”

Your voice mixed in with the rest of your companions and crowd, causing even more cheering. A mixture of amazement and surprised gasps could be heard from the other students. Rook was smiling, a light blush on his face, and Rollo remembered something the third year had told him when he had introduced himself. About being the protector of beauty. Guess Rollo can agree with him on you being beautiful, no matter what you wore or how you presented yourself, you were always breathtaking. 

“Where the lame can walk and the blind can see!”

The stallion makes a stop in front of Rollo and his charges. You smirk at them, looking as proud as he felt. “But the dead don't talk, so you won't be around to reveal what you've found!” Your voice was full of joy as you sang, making sure to cast each of the guests a look of mischief before grabbing a bunch of bead festival necklaces from your satchel and throwing it at them.

Sebek lets out an unceremonial shriek, trying to prevent the necklaces from finding a way to Malleus’s horns. Silver catches three of them, a black, green, and aurora one. His eyes stare at you, a small amused smile on his lips as he slips the green one on Sebek, places the aurora one on himself and gives the black one to Malleus. Who smiles, (Rollo gagged a bit), and slips it on, glad to be included in the whole thing.

Azul, Jamil, and Ruggie each have a yellow, maroon, and blue one around their necks, joy filled smiles that don’t scream irritation or shadiness. Deuce holds a red one for Riddle who takes it with a smile as he gives a blue one to Deuce in return. Epel is already wearing a deep rich purple one, matching with Rook. 

Yuu is smiling, laughter escaping his lips as he slips a bright blue necklace on Grim’s neck, the boy matching with his companion. Chen’ya laughs, seeming to make it his mission to catch as many necklaces as he can while wearing five different colors around his neck. 

Grabbing one that had got caught on his chair, he hands it to Professor Trein, who mumbles a thanks as he continues to watch the performance. 

“We have a method for spies and intruders rather like hornets protecting their hive. Here in the Court of Miracles, where it's a miracle if you get out alive!” 

This time, you sing along with the crowd and performers. Some of the students begin singing along with you while clapping to the beat of the song. Jules waves his pointed finger while singing, Eliott claps, a bright smile on his face. Rollo huffs in amusement but even he couldn’t fight off the tiny smile as he watched you gain more confidence with each step and word.

A softer tone takes place after singing the last part, and on cue the five jesters that had cornered them appear in multiple purples of smoke. The leader, Yellow Jester, takes a deep bow as she waves to the crowd. Smirking when her eyes landed on the group. Deuce and Epel gasp and point at them, eyes wide in recognition. 

Yellow jester laughs as they look confused as begins following you and Snowflake with a jump to her step. Jules and Eliott both cover their mouths to prevent from full blown laughing, both already knowing that the moment the music picks up on its usual beat, they will be in for a surprise. 

“Now! Bring forth the intruders who dare step into our Court Of Miracles!” Your voice is booming, bringing everyone to pay attention to you. The Yellow jester laughs while taking a deep bow. “Why yes! We must bring the criminals in for you to judge!” With an elegant twirl, she points at Purple Jester and Blue Jester, “You heard our esteem Judge! Bring forth the intruders!”

“She’s the judge?!” Exclaimed Epel. A few of the other students are just as shocked as he is. “But, what does she mean by intruders?” Asked Jamil, looked once again guarded. “Did we break a rule by accident?” Adds Azul, eyes focusing on the crowd.

Before they could keep asking, the music picked up pace, and in came the answer they had all been seeking. Coming in, tied up with rope and white pieces of cloth covering their mouths, were Idia and Neige. Though, Neige looked a little more composed than Idia did. 

“What are they doing there?!” Riddle and Deuce both yelled at the same time.

Professor Trein looked shocked, but from his lack of action, Rollo assumed he already knew what this was. “Holy- Idia looks like he is about to piss his pants!” Grim laughs as Yuu tried to scold him, worry in his brown eyes. “That is if he hasn’t already!” Adds Ruggie, a mocking laugh leaving his lips. 

“Justice is swift in the Court of Miracles, I am the lawyers and judge all in one!” You sang as you trotted towards the two rope bound students who were now on their knees. Idia shrieks, his cry muffled as he stares at you, bugged eye. From his point of view, it looked like the grim reaper had comed to take his soul. Neige flinched a bit, but schooled his expression. He knew you weren’t going to hurt them, but he will admit. It was intimidating watching you reach them with that huge horse.

“We like to get the trial over with quickly because it's the sentence that's really the fun!”

In a flurry of movements, you pull Snowflake away and reach to pet the two of them The gentle tap you give them caused Idia to flinch and Neige to tilt his head on confusion. You laugh at this, sharp and mocking. Rollo’s chest fills with pride, honestly, he can see why they chose you to be the main act this year. You truly were amazing. 

“Any last words?” 

Idia begins shaking back and forth furiously, his muffle shrieks being heard even from where Rollo was sitting. Neige’s are a lot more tame, but you could see the way he is suitably struggling in. You smirk once again and pull away, “That's what they all say.” That just makes Idia panic even more. 

“Now that we've seen all the evidence-!” One of the jester boys sings before being sharply interrupted by one of the ‘villagers’. A young woman dressed in a plain beige dress raised her hand, and from his left, he heard a multitude of sighs of relief from the other student. Eliott snorted, holding his stomach of all the laughing he had done.  

“Wait! I object!”

“Overruled!” You yelled back.

“I object!” 

“Quiet!” You yelled again, fake frustration in your voice.

“Dang!” Said the woman softly as she lowered her hand down. The crowd laughs, cheers going around the battle arena. 

“We find you totally innocent, which is the worst crime of all…” You sang sadly while holding a hand over your heart, Snowflake’s reins in your other hand. In union, the other jesters follow, with exaggerated frowns on their painted lips. Riddle furrows his eyebrows, “What does she mean that they are innocent and then say that it’s one of the worst crimes?” 

Professor Trein chuckles, shaking his head. This causes his students to look at him in confusion. Malleus tilted his head, a small smile on his lips, he looked confused but he was still enjoying himself. Rollo rolled his eyes, the prince looked ridiculous with those colorful necklaces around his neck. (Sebek had made it his personal mission to collect as many as he could for Malleus when he saw how happy it made him wearing one.)

“So you're going to hang!” You and the crowd sang, full of cheer as you raised your hand into the air and bowed as much as you could while riding Snowflake. 

Rollo had been prepared for two types of reactions: One, the cheers of the crowd as they all agreed with your ‘choice’ while also clapping. (That was the majority of the crowd). Two, the gasps of shock and horrified yells from the students he was with as they all objected with your ‘choice’. 

Rollo has a tiny smirk on his lips, Eliott and Jules laughing out loud on either side of him. Professor Trein laughed lightly, shoulders shaking from the reaction of his students. Chen’ya also laughed, eyes watching the chaos unfold. Then there were the loud shrieks of Idia as they dragged him out and back into the double doors he had come out of. Neige had a look of realization when he looked into the crowd, his shoulders shaking as he laughed. 

Turning to Rollo and his group, you smirk and bow.

“W-Wait! I am sure we can think of something to help them!” Deuce and Epel tried to hold you back by calling out to you. Their voices coated with panic for their two upper-classmen. You turn back to face them, a haughty smirk on your lips. Placing a finger up to your lips is a quiet motion, you winked at them before fully turning around and guiding Snowflake into the double doors. 

The five jesters all bowed to the crowd, then in a purple cloud, vanished just as the double doors to the battle arena closed. The crowd went wild, cheers could be heard in every direction as people clapped and hooted. All of them were overjoyed at the performance, for it meant that the long week festival had officially begun. 

Clapping along with the crowd, Rollo smiled. It was small, and barely even visible unless you really looked into it. Professor Trein and Chen’ya cheered along, each wearing a different smile. Jules and Eliott hooted, calling out your name as they cheered. The other students all stared in a mixture of confusion, and a little worried at the fate their two other companions may bear. 

Clearing his throat, Rollo stood up from his chair and gestured for the others to do the same. “It’s best if we leave now, before the crowd gets rowdy.” Both his secretary and vice-president follow his lead, Professor Trein nods and tells his students and charges to do the same. There are some who voice their disagreement in just leaving, worried over their two companions. Rollo sighs, a little irritated but lets Professor Trein handle them as they make their way out.

“Worry not, they are both fine.” Said the older man, “This is all part of the tradition here in the City of Flowers.” At this, Riddle and Azul perk up. “Tradition?” Asked Azul, casting a glance at Jules who looked away, an innocent smile on his lips. The group continues to walk away from the crowd, following Rollo as he moves swiftly through the bodies of people. “Yes, I will explain it as we go to retrieve Shroud and Leblanche.”

Rollo was thankful he didn’t have to deal with them anymore. With a sigh, he continues to walk, Jules and Eliott both laughing at his side. 

______

Just as you mounted off Snowflake, you heard a shriek so loud that it startled your stallion. Quickly, you began mumbling words of comfort so the black stallion won’t run off like he had done months prior to getting scared by one of the students by accident. Frowning, you hand Snowflake to one of the stable boys and head to wear you could hear the shrieking and sobbing. 

A multitude of the performers surrounded two people, the two that had been selected by the hunters you notice, and it seemed like they were trying to calm down the one with blue fiery hair. For a few seconds, you stare at the boy in amazement. Not once in your stay here had you seen someone with that kind of hair. It looked incredibly beautiful and unique, it brought a smile to your face.

The boy let another sob, breaking you from your trace. Clearing your throat, you quickly maneuvered yourself around the bodies and into the center where the boy was crying. “Is everything alright?” You asked. And in an instant he turned to face you so quickly that you feared he would snap his neck by the speed he had used. 

“YOU!” The boy lunged at you, and having little time to react, both of you landed on the ground. You yelp in surprise and pain from the landing as the boy clung to you, babbling in both fear and anger. “I HAVE DONE NOTHING TO DESERVE THIS!” You wince at the volume of his voice. Two of the girls nearby tried to help you off the ground while another two did their best to remove the crying boy from you. “THIS IS WHY I NEVER GO TO NORMIE EVENTS! I END UP GETTING KIDNAP ONE WAY OR ANOTHER!”

You tried to calm him down, confusion and worry mixed together as you did your best to soothe his worries. But every time you tried to push him away he would hold you tighter as if you were a lifeline. “Idia! Please let them go! They don’t mean any harm!” Your eyes glanced towards the honey voice. If you weren’t stuck in this situation, you would have gasped at how pretty the boy looked. 

“FIRST IS THE DAMN GHOST BRIDE NOW I WILL END UP WITH MY HEAD ON A NOSE BEFORE I MAKE IT TO PREMIER OF MY FAVORITE ANIME!” Tears and snot left the boy, some of it smearing onto your outfit. Had it been anyone else or any other situation, you would have been angry, after all, the dress wasn’t even yours. 

The ravenette went to help the two other girls pull Idia away from you, his voice calm and collected as he did so. With the help of one of the performers, you stood up and dusted away the dirt off your outfit. After making sure that the snot could be washed off, you turn back to the crying boy. Taking off the mask, you gave it to the performer that helped you and walked towards Idia and the pretty boy. 

The ends of Idia’s hair were turning red the more he struggled from the grip the others had on him. “Thank the seven that we casted a magic nullification spell on him.” Anna, the yellow jester said, eyes wide as he watched Idia struggle even more. “We would have been dealing with more than screaming and shouting.” 

You could only imagine. If the boy was like this without any magic, you wondered what he would do if he could cast spells. Without thinking, you rubbed the magical ring on your right hand. It was much like the ones the student at Nobel Bell wore, the only difference was that it wasn’t for casting magic, but for protection. Something Rollo had given you with the persimmon of the Headmage. 

“Did you guys inform him of why he had been taken away?” You asked, looking at her with serious eyes. She looks away, a nervous smile on her lips. “About that…they are two of the many guests President Flamm invited.” At this you stare at her in disbelief. “Why would you take two of his guests?!” More importantly, how did they manage to take them if Rollo was there?

“He gave us the ok! I swear [name]! We asked before we even took them! If he had said no, we would have just taken Jules and Eliott!” 

You sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose. Idia’s shouts were starting to gather more attention. “I’ll go deal with him. Go and find Rollo, we don’t want more attention on us.” 

“You sure?” Asked Anna, eyes casting a worry look towards the fighting Idia. You nod, “Yeah, I’ll calm him down and explain why he had been dragged here.” Anna sighs but compiles. Leaving you with two of Rollo’s guests along with the other girls helping you, you sigh again and put on your best smile.

Thank the seven you knew how to put on a good act, even under pressure. 

“Hey! I am so sorry for the misunderstanding!” You raised your voice in order to be heard from all the yelling and shouting. Idia halts his struggling, yellow eyes looking at you with small tears. “We will not hurt you,” you added softly, “So please, stop shouting. The horses are getting agitated and if you keep making too much noise they will try to get out and possibly hurt others and themselves.” 

As if to make a point, Snowflake huffed. The stable boy you had given your stallion to shrugged at your questioning look. “I tried taking him back but he refused to move.” Snowflake huffed again in agreement. Shaking your head, you turn back to look at Idia and  begin walking towards him. “Look, they will unhand you but you need to calm down. It’s a lot to ask, especially when you don’t know why you are here in the first place.”  

Idia squints his yellow eyes, suspicion in them as he slowly puts his hands on his sweater pocket. Something blue flashed from the corner of your vision, but before you could get a quick look, it was already gone. 

“...Fine…” 

With a multitude sighs of relief, the girls unhand him. Some give him a small glare while others give him a sympathetic smile. They all leave except the pretty boy and your horse who the stable boy decided to tie up before taking his leave. If you could read his thoughts, you would almost bet that he was having a good time witnessing whatever was about to happen. 

Smiling once more, you gesture for the two boys to take a seat on the nearby bench. “Now, take a seat. I will explain everything. But before we begin, my name is [Name] [Last name]. I am a first year student at Noble Bell College.”

“Nice to meet you, again, sorry for the inconvenience.” The raven hair boy spoke, a sweet smile on his rosy lips. “My name is Neige Leblanche and the person next to me is Idia Shroud.” He gestures to the flame haired boy. “Well, I do apologize, Idia and Neige.” Standing up, you offer a light bow. “I didn’t know that both of you hadn’t been informed about the stunt we pulled.”

In all honesty you thought Rollo would have explained it to them the moment they arrived in order to avoid a situation like this one. Especially to people who didn’t know a single thing about the week long masquerade. You had known about it since you would be part of the act, and Rollo had warned you in case you were chosen as the ‘intruder’ and if you put yourself in their shoes, they had every right to act the way they were. 

“It’s alright! Every place has their own traditions! We should have done more research about the City of Flowers before coming, so that is a mistake on our part.” Reassured Neige as he gestured you to sit down. Idia frowns, a scowl taking place on his face. “Doesn't excuse the fact that Flamm didn't even give a warning…" 

You laughed nervously, between you and Rollo, no one knew of the childish streak the third year had. While he remained mature and a role model student in the public face, Rollo was a whole other person when he was behind doors. Much like Jules and Eliott, he tended to cause mayhap and chaos. Many times, he enjoyed watching it while laughing. This was one for those moments. And perhaps it was karma considering that you tended to join his little misadventures. 

"I'm sure he wanted to warn you but hadn't been given enough time…hunters do tend to appear out of nowhere."

"Now that you mentioned it, he had been in a hurry to get us to the battle arena." Thank the seven for Neige! You nod enthusiastically. "See? He probably couldn't explain it on time!"

"He had more than enough time! We spent nearly all morning with him!" Exclaimed Idia, anger clear on his face. You gulp, "I'm sure Rollo didn't want to spoil the surprise!" Neige (bless his soul) quickly came to the rescue. "Yeah! Many of the students in our group had questions and he had been there to answer them. Plus, even with Jules and Eliott helping him, he still had a handful!"

Idia shot Neige a small glare but didn’t say anything back. Taking this as an opportunity, you spoke up again. “Well, then let me make up for it!” Clapping your hands together, you shot them a smile. “Now, let me start by explaining the reason you two were stuck as this years’ intruders.” 

With that you launched off to a very long, and hopefully not so boring explanation. 

The whole tradition started off in honor of the Court Of Miracles, a place rumored to house people who were hiding from the monsters that used to roam the City of Flowers. The place could only be found by a special map and only a few selected had ownership of said map. While the place may have been hard to find, it didn’t mean that it was impossible. 

Many times, monsters and people with the wrong intentions would try to intrude the place, and in order to keep it safe along with the people living there, a few fellow jesters would capture them and execute them. The leader of the group of jesters was often referred to as the Judge while the other five jesters would be called the hunters. 

The Judge would be the one to take care of dealing the final order while the five hunters would do the capturing. That was how they managed to keep the place safe for so long. That was until two people had come. They were about to be executed if it hadn’t been for a young woman who knew them and concluded that they were no threat to the Court of Miracles. Because those two people were in fact friends of the young women and they wanted to help the fair judge, the one who wanted freedom for the City of Flowers, in defeating the monsters.

Hence, they had earned the privilege of leaving and entering in exchange for help. And so, in order to make sure people remember the bravery of the people, the people in the City of Flowers made it a tradition to start off the festival with the song and performance. Which also included having two intruders and a Judge who guided five jesters. 

But the citizens wanted to add a twist to it in order to make it fun and memorable. Instead of just choosing the two intruders like how they chose the Judge and jesters, they decided to select the two remaining people on the day of the festival by capturing two unsuspected people and bringing them forth. 

“And that is why Rollo didn’t stop them from taking you, he knew the two of you wouldn’t be in danger.” You finish off your explanation by doing a last attempt in saving some face for Rollo. Neige clapped his hands at your performance while Idia just looked even more perplexed. “And people agreed this was a good idea?!” He asked after a minute or two. 

“Well, many liked it! And many more hope to get chosen for it!”

“What is so good about being kidnapped?!”

You did your best to hold in a sigh of frustration. Instead, you shot him a bright smile, one you were sure looked forced but no longer cared. “The reason many hope to get picked is this.” Holding the object up, you showed them the prize. Neige gasped at it, eyes shining with curiosity while Idia just looked even more done.

“...A dream catcher necklace…?”

“Don’t give me that look!” Huffing you began explaining, again. “Remember the map I mentioned that led to the Court of Miracles? This is a mock imitation of it. It’s not the real thing, no one knows how it actually looked liked.”

Giving one of the two necklaces to Neige, you continued. “Much like the rumored map, this one is a map of the city. It will show you different locations and what not. The catch to it however, is that you will have to figure out the locations yourself, once you do, a prize will be given. You have until the end of the week to figure it out.”

Idia takes the necklace you offered, yellow eyes looking it over with hidden curiosity. He no longer looked angry, which was a win for you. “It’s like a scavenger hunt?” Asked Neige. You nod, “You need to find the locations on the map, once you do, it will glow, meaning that the location has been found. It should be about ten locations each.”

“And the prize?” Idia mumbled, eyes still glued to the necklace. “Ah…about that, I don’t have a clue as to what it is.” This time, his yellow eyes trained on you, brows furrow. You smile nervously. “From what I heard, not a single person has been able to find the actual prize. Many get close but the last location is the one that no one is able to find.”

From what Eliott and Jules had told you, when they had been selected as the intruders during their first year, both had worked together in order to find all the locations. That had helped them cover most of their base in three days, letting them have the rest of the week to figure out where the last location was. Yet no matter how much either of them looked, they couldn’t figure it out. Even with Rollo’s help, both didn’t manage to finish the quest. 

It was the same for past students who were picked, not one was able to find the last location. 

“Huh…now that sounds interesting.” A sudden sharp smile appeared on Idia’s face as he began to giggle. You stare at him confused and a little worried. Neige didn’t seem affected by it, but he did share the same enthusiasm as Idia. More or less. 

“And people can help you with this right?” Asked Neige. “Yep, since the locations switch up every year, asking for the old ones won’t work but you can receive assistance.” Pointing at the little purple jewels on the string, you explain further. “No one is in charge of placing the locations. The ones who do are the stones here, I have no clue where they come from though. All I know is that they chose the locations and once you finish with it, you give it back to the Headmage.”

Idia hums, he runs his fingers through the small diamond beads. Neige does the same, though he looks more joyish that Idia, who still has that sharp smirk. You don’t question it nor do you point it out. This was better than having Idia panic.

Anyways, the important thing was that there was no more noise and the people with their horses could pass by without fearing that the horses would act out. Plus, Anna would be here with Rollo soon, though, looking at your outfit you grimace. You could feel your sweat sticking to the fabric of the outfit. You wanted to go take a quick shower and change to the school’s female uniform. The robes would be getting in your way, especially when you planned to walk around with Rollo for the day. And from the looks of it, the warm weather may get a bit more warmer. While you preferred pants over anything else, the skirt of the female uniform will allow for easy movement and it will keep you cool. 

Thankfully, it didn’t take long for Anna to come back with Rollo. Standing up from your position, you greeted the third year. Without sparing a single glance at the two other boys, he made his way to you, a worried frown on his face. Grabbing your face in a gentle grip, he pulls you close. “Are you alright?”

“Yes, I’m fine. A little tired from the performance but nothing I can’t deal with.”

He still looked unconvinced, placing your hands on top of his own, you gave him a confident look. “Really, I am fine. Plus, I had Anna get you since Idia was panicking.” Gesturing towards the blue haired boy, who was too busy looking at the dreamcatcher necklace. “I managed to calm him down, but I didn’t want to leave them alone, especially when he is one of your guests.”

Sure, you could have asked one of the performers to stay with both Neige and Idia but you also felt a little guilty at scaring them. It would be better for you to wait and explain the situation than leave and let someone else deal with Idia’s outburst. Rollo sighs, annoyance clear in his green eyes as he looks at the smirking boy. “I heard he had tackled you.”

“Ah, yeah but I didn’t get hurt. He was just panicking and it’s understandable considering that he got taken away without any context.”

Rollo avoids your gaze at your pointed look. “...The hunters got there before I could explain.”

“Anna said that you gave them the ok to take two of the guests.”

“...”

Shaking your head, you sigh, a little smile on your face. It’s not like you could blame him for not telling them. Much to everyone's surprise (except you) Rollo tended to be a bit mischievous and just like any other teenager, he enjoyed pulling little pranks on others. Of course, he did this when no one was looking or when he knew it wouldn’t harm others. Most of the time, you helped him with it. 

Like last month, you had helped him get back at Eliott and Jules for teasing him. It had started with Rollo admitting that he had a fondness for banana milk. Both boys had teased him for a while, it was unexpected for someone like Rollo to like something so sweet. Rollo had enough of it at some point and with your help, both of you plotted how to get back at both of your friends. Till this day, Eliott and Jules both still have glitter in their hair.

“Ah, Rollo! I do apologize for the earlier outburst. It had taken us by surprise.” Neige spoke up, brown eyes on the both of you. Startled, Rollo pulled away from you and regarded the raven head boy with a nod. “Yes, I also apologize. I had intended to explain to you all the traditions we have here but I hadn’t made it on time.”

Idia snorted, yellow eyes casting a glare at the third year but didn’t comment anything. “It’s alright, you wanted to have the element of surprise.” Once again, you thanked Neige. He was doing his best to convince Idia that it had been all harmless fun. Though, Idia didn’t look very convinced  at all. Clearing his throat, Rollo gives them both a nod.

“Right, I will be taking you back to the group. They are waiting by the entrance of the battle arena.” He then turns to you. “Will you be joining us?”

“I will, I just need to take a quick shower and change my clothes.” Twirling in your jester outfit you show it off. “I don’t wanna walk around in this. Not that it is a bad outfit, but I am not used to dressing up like this.”

Halting, you fully look at the pale boy. His face was a little red from what you could tell. He was hiding his face behind his infamous purple handkerchief but you could see the tip of his ears turning red. “R-Right…then we will wait for you in the city.”

Nodding, you agree with him before turning your attention towards the two other boys. Both were staring at the two of you. Neige with a small soft smile and a knowing look in his eyes. Idia looked a little annoyed but also had a look of longing. You didn’t question it, whatever was going on was their own deal. “Then, I will join you all later!”

With a bow, you waved to them goodbye, then, without thinking much, pressed a chaste kiss on Rollo’s cheek. You left the stables without looking back, a silly smile decorating your lips.

[alovesreading]

Constant Repeat | Part 7

Summary: Having worked at Focus Creeps for a year, Ella knows that as a production assistant and part of the crew, there’s one important rule: don’t interact with the talent unless it’s needed. But once she meets Arctic Monkeys, and the recording of the music videos for their upcoming fourth studio album starts, the band seem to become her exception. Not only because they treat her more like a friend than just someone else they’re working with but when Alex continuously makes her blush with his flirting, so enthralled by her that he forgets he’s got a girlfriend, Ella finds herself growing closer to him. As videos are filmed, wrapped and edited, the friendship lines become blurry. Situations unfold, secrets are told and others are kept under lock and key, but how long can Alex and Ella endure being stuck in each other’s minds on constant repeat.

Word Count: 16.8k 

Story Warnings: Throughout this series there will be suggestive talk, jealousy, cheating, alcohol and drug use, angst, smut.  

A/N: Happy Friday my lovelies! This is probably one of my favorite chapters and you'll know why by the end of it. Seeing your reactions to this one is gonna be a wonderful birthday gift hahaha, so I'm very excited to see what you think of it!! Enjoy xx

Masterlist

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 |

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It was the start of the second week of the year and Matt had just arrived in Los Angeles. Ella had picked Breana up early to go and pick him up from the airport, and she had acted like the couple's reunion hadn't made her tear up. She truly loved them both so much, even if they were a multiplied menace together.

The three went to have breakfast, with Julian joining them shortly after they had been seated. It was a cute little bakery that had some of the best pastries and coffee Ella had ever had, she went there so often that she was recognized by the staff.

"So how were the holidays?" Ella let her cup of tea rest on the table softly to give the drummer her whole attention, hoping to hear only wonderful things about the holiday season in his hometown.

Matt just shrugged, knowing it had been good but like usual, "Really good, nothing too interesting. Got to spend time with my mum and dad, the lads..." But he trailed off, remembering his grand discovery. "Well..." He started with bubbling excitement but when he realized Julian was there, and Ella was very much not single, he decided against telling her. It would only bring trouble. "No, yeah, nothing interesting."

Ella chuckled, sarcastically replying, "Don't sound so sure there."

"Sorry, I thought something worth telling had happened but it's nothing." It was something, but he just couldn't say it. It was a bad idea. "Hope you spoiled this one for me during the holidays." Matt was quick to change the subject, hugging his girlfriend into his side.

Ella smirked, "Surely, I did. I'm sure Julian got a bit jealous over how much time I was spending with her rather than with him."

"These two right?" Matt asked jokingly, with a facial expression that screamed 'can you believe them?'

Julian shook his head, "They're unbelievable."

"Don't go complaining much, most of the time we spend together is when we take those pictures you two love so much." Bre fought, raising her finger up in the air and pointing at both the men accusingly.

Matt lifted his hands up, "Right, right."

Ella wanted to taunt the drummer some more so she added, "Don't show him the pictures from the last session we had, make him beg for them."

"Jesus Christ," Matt scoffed playfully, "Does she always have you begging, mate?"

Ella turned her gaze to Julian, scowling at him. "You will not disclose that information."

"I won't," Julian agreed but then he turned to Matt and mouthed, "Sometimes."

Bre smirked and Matt laughed, Ella smacked Julian's hand which was resting on top of her thigh. The two boys were nothing but trouble.

The next seven days had been just like that, pure banter coming from the drummer, mainly targeted at Ella. He just couldn't hold himself back from teasing her, it was funny seeing her glaring at him all annoyed.

Ella had spent most of the days third wheeling for Bre and Matt, but she truly didn't mind. Julian had started the year with full force, work taking him away most of the week but she wouldn't complain, not when he enjoyed what he did so much and he still made sure to text her sweet things and updates about his whereabouts throughout the day. He had promised her to spend the weekends he had free with her and that's exactly what they had done the weekend before the rest of the band was due to arrive.

When Monday morning arrived, she was ecstatic to go back into the rhythm of things at the studio but much more excited to have her friends back. She was determined to start the year well, having fully let go of any grudges she had from her past with Alex and with her mind set on having things be the way they had been before, when they first had met.

She gave them all a tight hug when she had gotten to Rancho de la Luna.

"How's everything been?" Ella asked them all, and they all replied positively with smiles on their faces. They were brief at telling her how the holidays had been but it all sounded so nice, she was happy for them.

She'd smiled back at them and, once inside, they all rolled right back into the groove of things.

About three hours into the time they'd been there, James had gotten sent the final version of a song they'd done in their last week in LA. They had all agreed in wanting to hear it so James plugged his laptop to the audio system and played it.

The drums quickly drowned the room and then joined the bass which made the room vibrate, the guitar soon came after and Ella was already obsessed with the song.

She hadn't been prepared when Alex's sultry voice started singing, but hearing the first word be the name Arabella got her thinking about how this song was a love song for Arielle.

She cooed internally, thinking about how adorable Alex was for that.

When it got to the chorus, she'd gotten excited over hearing their own version of the 'War Pigs' guitar riff. She'd started beaming at the music she was listening to.

She was slightly confused about the first line of the second verse, feeling oddly personally addressed but it just had to be her brain trying to make shit about herself. She even ignored the fact that the chorus lyrics reminded her of when they were driving down San Diego's coast on the way to that restaurant they visited after Belmont Park.

But when the bridge started and it brought back those memories with each line, she couldn't help her smile faltering, falling down until it completely disappeared. She couldn't believe what she had just heard, her thoughts too scattered to even gush over the stunning guitar solo that was bouncing off the walls by the end.

Ella only snapped back to reality when the last chord of the guitar died inside the room and the lads started eagerly talking about the song and how it had ended up sounding. She was too stunned to speak, having trouble letting the words roll off her tongue when Jamie asked her if she'd liked it.

Forcing herself to smile, Ella nodded, "Oh, yeah, you absolutely killed that Black Sabbath guitar riff." Her gaze was swimming around the room but trying her hardest to keep it from falling on Alex's. "What's the name of this one?" She asked just to make sure.

"Arabella." Jamie replied with a soft grin and she could only nod.

She was so confused, her steps slow as she went back to the settee and focused again on replying to emails but as the minutes passed and the letters on the screen turned into one single blob of unreadable imagery, she decided she needed a breather.

She grabbed her cigarettes and lighter and exited the place. Her shaky legs were barely able to carry her up to where her bike was parked. She plopped down on it, sighing with her head still scrambled. What the fuck? The whiplash she'd gotten from that song was enough to make her want to take the day off.

So much for wanting things to go back to normal.

She sat there, with the sun keeping her warm despite the chilly winds of January, smoking until she felt better. It was on her third cigarette that she had tried to turn the situation around in her head—Maybe he just wrote it a long while ago, she convinced herself and the more she said it, the more it became more factual.

She nodded as she threw the dying bud and stepped on it—It will be the only one about me, he's happy and in love with Arielle.

That's the one thought she kept on loop as she walked back in, going to the kitchen and pouring herself a shot of the studio's brand of tequila. She fucking needed it.

Ella was startled when she left the shot glass with a thud on the kitchen counter and Matt had seen her swallow the gulp of alcohol, "Oi!" He'd exclaimed, "We starting the party early today?" The clock showed a pitiful 12:23pm which made her sigh heavily—it was gonna be such a long day for her.

"Be my guest." Her voice didn't sound inviting at all as she poured a shot for her friend.

Matt frowned at her, "Well if you're gonna be the one starting the party, you should come alive a bit. Damn."

"Piss off." She muttered, no energy left at all to deal with Matt's teasing.

He snorted, "You hated the song that much?"

She shook her head, "No. It was... it was good, just–" She started, but she had to bite her tongue not to spill it out to Matt. "When did you record that one? After I was gone?"

He downed the alcohol without much of a reaction to the taste, "Yeah, we made it pretty quickly actually. I think it might be one of the best and fastest songs we've done for this record so far."

Ella hummed, not knowing what to do with that information. She just turned to the sink to wash the glass and then followed Matt back to the recording room.

When she'd walked through the door, it was like no one had realized how much the song had affected her. Alex was sitting in a chair with a guitar in his hand, next to James and Nick who were also in their own chairs but in front of the massive mixing console.

Their backs were facing her, and she was grateful for that—she was sure her every thought was written all over her face.

She knew she wasn't brave enough to ask Alex about it, to confront him or get any reasoning from him, so she just decided to ignore the whole situation. She had wanted the whole recording period to go smoothly and drama free, but she now knew there was never gonna be a dull moment as long as she was around the band.

Taking a deep breath she reminded herself of her plan of action, just ignore it. And just like that she forced herself to resume sorting through emails, hearing Alex mumbling along a melody he was playing on the guitar.

Isn't it hard to make up your mind

When you're losing and your fuse is fireside?

She heard them celebrate at the sudden composition of the lines, encouraging Alex to go over it again and see if he could come up with anything else. His brain was going a thousand miles per hour, trying to find the perfect words to rhyme for the first part of the verse he was coming up with.

After a few tries he knew which configuration of lines he'd liked better, settling for:

I'm not sure if I should show you what I've found

Has it gone for good, or is it coming back around?

Isn't it hard to make up your mind

When you're losing and your fuse is fireside?

James nodded eagerly, "That's it. That's it mate." he patted Alex's shoulder proudly, "Sounds like a good chorus actually, we can make it one."

Alex and Nick nodded, having worked with James so many times before meant that the band trusted him fully to take out the full potential of whatever they'd come up with.

That's how that day, Ella had gotten back home humming the melody of the song. She dropped her bag on her sofa and ran to her room to call Breana.

She'd told her all about it, trying her hardest not to mess up the order of the lyrics she could remember and asked the model if she was overreacting, to which Bre firmly said no, agreeing that it was something she'd freak out over too.

Breana had helped her settle adding, "He's a musician though, honey, they all do that. Don't be surprised if there's another one there about you."

Ella groaned, "I rather not. I hope Arielle doesn't even notice about this one." She stayed quiet for a few seconds before she whined in dismay, "Why did he have to go and record a song about me when he has a fucking girlfriend?!"

Breana giggled on the other side, "'Cause he's a man, babe."

Ella sighed, "Fucks sake."

"He could've been more discreet though, don't you think?" Bre added, amused. "He literally has your name in the title of it."

Ella whined like she was in pain, "Why are you making it worse?"

A hard laugh was what she got as a response, "And there's also some of Arielle's name there but that's purely to fool everyone."

Ella rubbed her temples, tired. "I just hope they scrap it from the final record, they told me they had recorded some more songs in London back then along with 'R U Mine?' and 'Electricity' so I'm crossing my fingers they do the same for this one."

"Hopefully, yeah." Her best friend agreed, "Just, don't lose your mind about this okay? If there's any trouble with his girlfriend, it's all his fault."

"I will try my hardest. The worst part is that the song is good..." She was truly in dismay but then she heard the muffled sound of Breana's doorbell through the phone and she laughed, knowing exactly who that was meant to be, "Right, have a fun night hun."

Bre giggled, the sound filled with joy, "I will. Love you! Bye!"

"Love you too, bye!"

The line died, and Ella sighed. What had she done in her past life to deserve this? She was so stressed about the whole thing, she was close to start pulling her hair out.

But then her phone rang and when she saw it was her boyfriend, she felt like she could escape the situation for a bit. Hearing Julian's voice was a breath of fresh air, and him telling her he was coming over was like everything had lifted off her shoulders.

What would she do without him?

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Julian having four days free to spend with Ella was the cure to it all. The next few days at the studio had gone by like a breeze when she knew she would be coming back home to him.

But the day she'd come back home from the studio to kiss him goodbye, since he was leaving for a week to work in San Francisco, it had all gone to shit.

Every bit of calmness that Julian had given her after the 'Arabella' situation was thrown out the window when none other than Arielle called her in despair.

"Hi Arielle! How are you?" Ella had asked her in a chipper tone but her whole face fell when she heard the model sniffling on the other side of the call.

"Hi Ellie, not that well to be completely honest."

Ella was completely confused, she wasn't close enough to Arielle to receive a phone call from her during a low moment but that didn't mean she wasn't going to be kind to her and help in any way if she could. "I'm so sorry, is everything okay? Anything I can do for you?"

"I was wondering if you knew anything–" Arielle started but her voice broke and Ella's heart hurt for her, "I saw you were with the guys at the studio already," She remembered the picture she'd posted the day before of the lads just doing their thing, scattered around in the studio.

Ella had no idea what this all was about but what she didn't expect was the model suddenly asking, "How's Alex?"

Her frown got impossibly deeper after that, "Alex? What do you–"

"We broke up." Arielle was quick to say like the words were burning her tongue, "Well, he broke up with me."

Ella pouted to herself, feeling a wave of sadness for the model but the confusion was still very much there because Alex seemed so okay at the studio. "I'm so sorry to hear that, Arielle. I had no idea. I don't think anyone knows... No one mentioned a thing at the studio."

Arielle covered a sob with her hand, heart breaking a bit more at seeing that apparently he hadn't told a single person about it, Matt had texted her earlier asking her if she was joining them anytime soon and that had been a cruel reminder of what had happened, hence why she had decided to call Ella.

"Right." She replied defeated, "I had hoped he'd told you about it, just so I could get some answers."

"What do you mean?" Ella's confusion grew every time Arielle said something else.

"It's just– He broke up with me out of nowhere, Ella." The model took a deep shaky breath and continued, "Can I tell you something in confidence? It's gonna be TMI but I–"

Ella nodded despite knowing Arielle couldn't see her, "'Course you can, it's okay."

But Ella wasn't prepared for what she would get in return, "I'm so sorry, this is so TMI but I'm just baffled," She started again as if she was giving Ella the chance to take it back but at the silence, she sighed, "The night before, Ella, I swear we had the best sex we'd had in months. He fucked me dumb, telling me how gorgeous I was over and over. He called me darling! He's never used that for me before, I–. Fuck, I'm just going crazy trying to understand this."

Ella was shocked. Not only to have to be hearing this but she truly wouldn't have suspected a thing from Alex's behavior—and she was sure the lads didn't know either because only a few days ago Jamie had made a joke and teased him about the singer's girlfriend to which Alex only had replied with a short chuckle.

She decided to ignore the details Arielle had given her, which weren't many but the fact that Alex had called Arielle darling for the first time in that moment had Ella shifting in her place uncomfortably.

"Arielle, I'm so sorry. I genuinely had no idea, he seemed so normal." She sighed, biting on her thumb. "Jamie mentioned you a few days ago, to tease him and he didn't say a thing. He just laughed and kept doing whatever he was doing."

"It's okay Ellie, I guess I will always wonder what happened..." The model sounded so defeated but she continued telling Ella what had happened that last day, "The next morning he made me breakfast and everything, and in the middle of it he just said he couldn't keep our relationship going. Just like that." A curt chuckle came from Arielle, "He almost said that 'it's not you, it's me' bullshit."

Ella winced, "Oh fuck that..."

Arielle could only hum in agreement and then remembered her poor timing, "Sorry Ella, I probably just interrupted something."

"No, no. Was about to go to bed. Don't you worry Ari, truly." Ella consoled her, "We could go out this weekend? To drink and dance it all away? Julian just left for work and I'll be alone for a week, I'm sure Bre will be down for a girls night." Yes, Alex was her friend but Arielle was one as well so Ella wasn't choosing any sides and if there was anything she could do to help Arielle feel better then she'd do it.

Arielle smiled, silent tears rolling down her cheeks at Ella's kindness. "I would yeah, just send me a text and I'll go wherever."

"Sure. Now go dry those tears hun, he doesn't deserve them."

Arielle giggled, wiping her cheeks. "Thank you, Ellie. Have a goodnight."

"You too Arielle, can't wait to hug you soon. Goodnight."

Fucking hell.

Ella had no idea what the fuck had just happened but she'd decide to ignore it for as long as she could. She needed to relax.

So she rolled a joint, and started smoking out in her backyard. In between puffs, she decided to call Breana and quickly tell her everything, also make sure she was in on going out with Arielle two days from then.

Needless to say, retelling everything had left her even more confused and she ignored the silence on Breana's side when she mentioned his use of the pet name for Arielle. In the back of her mind, Ella knew just what her best friend was thinking but she didn't want to give that another thought.

The next day, Ella had been extra observant, her eyes on Alex at all times and by the end of the day, she was fully intrigued.

She'd bitten her tongue all day, waiting for the perfect moment to bring it up but when they were all leaving and she hadn't had a chance to talk to him alone, she basically baited him into staying a bit longer before they left.

Ella asked him for a cigarette, knowing damn well that would make him stay to have one with her. Two minutes had passed of them smoking as they watched the sun die on the horizon, when she gained the courage to ask.

"How's Arielle? Haven't seen her in a while." In her mind it made more sense to go straight to the point, like ripping a bandaid.

What she hadn't expected is for him to hide behind an inquiry of his own, "How's Julian?"

She chuckled quietly to herself, someone's defensive. "He went to San Francisco yesterday night, he's doing a weeklong shoot over there for some city event." And then she turned to him with an eyebrow raised, challenging him to respond to her question.

Alex barely looked at her then, he was afraid that if he told Ella about his new relationship status while looking her in the eye he might beg with them for her to have him.

"We broke up." His statement was simple, not heartfelt at all—it sounded more like he said it fast to get it over and done with.

"Oh," She muttered, trying to contort her face in the best way so he didn't notice she already knew.

But Alex didn't even turn to look at her, he kept his gaze straight ahead of him and took a long drag of his cigarette.

"I'm sorry." She added, hating the suffocating silence.

The singer only shrugged though, "It's okay, just wasn't right anymore."

Her hum was low and quiet, Ella had no idea what to say. "Are you okay?"

He offered her a half smile, "Yeah, why?"

"I don't know, you just seem so normal. Do the guys know?"

"No, don't tell them." Alex silently begged her, "Matt's gonna try and set me up with someone, or worse he's gonna force me to go out on the pull– I can't be arsed."

Ella giggled, fully convinced Matt would. She offered her pinky finger, and Alex locked it with his—the 'death ramps' ring on her skin once again. "Promise."

When she was done with her cigarette, she discarded it on the ground. They hugged each other goodbye and he watched her as she left on her bike.

He shook his head, now that she knew he had no idea what to do with himself. Especially not when he still felt her pinky finger intertwined with his and his skin craved her at all times.

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Alex had seen Arielle's post that weekend, the three girls with tequila shots in hand and flipping the camera off.

He had no idea how that had happened, if it had been something planned before he'd told Ella about the breakup or if Ella had called Arielle and taken her out because of it. But he didn't care much, as long as they'd had fun then it would be fine by him—he thought it was kind of Ella and Bre to take Arielle out to distract her after everything.

Ella knew Alex had seen it, the look on his face was enough to know but she was glad to see he seemed completely fine about it. Maybe even happy, as the singer asked her subtly if she'd had fun, she nodded with a smile and added "Trying to power through the hangover though."

That day had been quite calm, the lads had focused on giving a few modifications to some of the songs they had been making and putting on a queue to finish later. Of course Ella was recording the whole process, she'd left the camera on the end of the table they were all sitting by so the angle had the camera catching perfectly what they were all doing.

They had gone back to 'Fireside', trying to make the verses work with the melody they'd been creating and she had been watching it all unfold from her usual place on the settee so she managed to catch Matt instantly when he went to disturb the footage she was getting.

"Oi! Matthew!" She called out after the drummer had stuck his face right in front of the lenses of the recording device, "Stop fucking with the footage."

Jamie had cackled loudly as he turned to point at Ella, "You've just said 'oi', you're officially spending too much time with us."

"Only because I'm getting paid for it." Ella joked with a straight face.

"Same here." added James, making Alex laugh beside him.

His chuckles were contagious, making the rest of the room erupt in laughter. Ella loved moments like these, it was just pure bliss for everyone around.

The hours were going by and the guys had reached the point where they had exhausted their brains too much over finding the perfect placements for the verses in the song, so they moved on to talking about random shit.

Ella had gotten a call from Julian in the middle of Matt telling his childhood antics and how he'd fake being ill to skip school, so she excused herself to go outside. It hadn't been a long call, just about ten minutes since it was all her boyfriend had gotten of free time while working.

When she'd gone back to the room, it was all a frenzy. They were arguing so loud, she grimaced at the change of volume compared to the crickets softly building up a choir outside as the night fell.

"What is going on?" She couldn't even make up what it was that they were talking about.

"Ella, how many instruments can you play?" Nick asked quickly.

The question was so sudden, she automatically let out a confused, "Huh?"

The bassist sighed, he wanted to prove a point, "How many instruments can you play?"

"None," She blushed as it was embarrassing to admit in a room full of musicians.

Matt turned fast to the bassist, "See! Told you."

Nick shook his head, "No, c'mon, you gotta at least know one. Even if it's simple."

The PA stayed quiet under their attentive stares, thinking about how she'd only really played one instrument consistently at a point in her life. "Xylophone." She mumbled to herself, somehow that was even more embarrassing to her than saying she didn't know how to play a single instrument.

"What?" Jamie asked since he was the closest to her and not even him had been able to hear correctly.

She raised her volume enough for them to hear her, "The damn xylophone."

Matt had laughed out loud, whereas the rest of the band had smiled amused at her. She rolled her eyes at their reactions, the only one she liked at the moment was James who was smiling at her understanding how annoying they could be.

Nick turned back to Matt and brought their argument back up, "See! At least one."

Matt refused to accept his defeat, "Not agreeing with you until she plays it. She can say she knows but she might not."

Ella sighed exasperated, "Why would I lie dumbass? That'd be even worse. If you find me a glockenspiel then I'll play it for you, dick."

Matt stood up and went to find the percussion instrument not before telling her, "You're on it." as he walked past her.

Five minutes later, she was sitting in front of a coffee table where the thirty note glockenspiel rested. She had two little wooden mallets, one on each hand, and she started getting nervous under the gaze of all the boys.

"I feel like I'm back on fucking eight grade about to perform for father's day, Jesus Christ."

Matt was ready to take the piss out of her so he encouraged her, "Go on then."

She'd rolled her eyes before thinking back to her last few years in middle school and how she'd been assigned band as extracurriculars. She'd chosen the xylophone because she really hadn't want much of a challenge, it was enough that she'd had to be in band to start with.

So Ella hit the first note and after that E note reached her ears, it was like memory had completely taken over. She played 'Für Elise' smoothly and when she was done she flipped Matt off, "Whatever it was, Nick won."

The drummer waved her off like one waves an annoying mosquito, "But everyone knows how to play that song in whichever instrument they know."

She didn't say anything back to him, just grabbed the mallets back up and with a C note she started playing 'Fly Me to the Moon' by Sinatra. Right after she'd finished with the chorus of it, she started playing 'Take On Me' by A-ha and just to shut him up she finished her repertoire with 'Bohemian Rhapsody' by Queen.

Ella remembered the endless days she'd practice that last song until she got it to perfection, her middle school self was really hard on herself—she still remained the same in that aspect.

Everyone but Matt started clapping making Ella blush, "Thank you, thank you." She took a small bow, "I cannot believe I still remember how to play those songs, haven't played since I started high school."

"Well she can actually play an instrument, so your argument is fucked Matt." Concluded Nick with a victorious smirk on his face.

The drummer rolled his eyes and proceeded to stand up, "Whatever, Ella might be able to but I stand my ground."

She was confused but, honestly, she didn't want to bring the whole thing back up so she decided to just stay with the curiosity. "Where'd you get this? So I can put it away." She asked Matt but before he could answer, Alex interrupted.

"Actually, can you help me?"

Ella set the mallets back on the table, "With what?"

"I feel like we should try and make a soft song," He looked for words to describe what he wanted to do, "Like a lullaby of sorts."

Ella slowly nodded, not so sure if she'd be much help but agreeing nonetheless, "Sure, yeah. Just... I never really composed anything so I'm gonna be hitting notes like a dickhead for a while until I manage to find a melody that sounds right."

Alex shrugged, "That's fine. Would you like to go to another room so you can do it in peace?" He subtly nodded towards Matt and Ella chuckled.

"Yes, please."

A few minutes later, Ella and Alex were settled in the keyboard room. She set the glockenspiel on the small table she was sitting in front of and Alex sat beside her with a Gibson J-45 on his lap.

She had no idea what to do first so she laughed embarrassed, hiding her face in her hands. "Alex what do I do?" Her giggles kept going as she felt her cheeks grow hot.

He laughed with her and started playing random chords to distract her, "Whatever you'd like, just go at it and when you play something you like try to write down the notes so you don't forget."

His journal was open then, in front of her with the pen he always used to write resting in the crease of the middle of the open book. The pages were blank and intimidating, she was so nervous for some reason and she didn't want to disappoint him so the pressure was even greater.

But after an hour, Ella found that making music with Alex was truly an easy smooth ride. He'd played different melodies, sometimes along with the random notes she was playing and when they'd fallen on a pattern that sounded beautiful, she gasped.

"No fucking way." She was truly blown away by the fact that she had been able to help in the making of something that sounded actually pretty.

He smiled proudly at her, "That was stunning. You remember the notes?"

She nodded eagerly, grabbing the pen with her right hand to start writing it down as she played it with her left hand slowly.

It was a tiny part, but it was a start and Alex seemed to really like it. Soon, Alex was playing away on the guitar like a door had been opened and the inspiration had just flooded out.

Alex raised his eyebrows expectantly when he was done with all he was coming up with, "That sound good?"

"Beautiful." She confirmed with a beaming grin on her face.

They went over it again and again, Ella timidly adding a few notes here and there which he always smiled and nodded to. She had a good sense of timing where to put them.

Ella listened to him attentively as he played the chorus again, "I think the bass coming on after the second chorus would lift it all up, maybe everyone could come in after it."

He had a thought, "Change it all, maybe to start a bridge..."

Ella nodded excitedly, that sounded great.

They went over it again, he was racking his brain trying to find anything that he wanted to sing about to such a slow-tempo song.

She'd seen times before how he mumbled as he played, trying to find the perfect words that fit the song, and how like that, slowly, the lines came to life.

On this occasion it wasn't different, the chorus being played by him over and over again as he formed sentences. He seemed to have settled for 'Mad sounds, in your ear. Make you get up and dance' and it sounded beautiful.

"What is it about?" She asked as he wrote the lyric in the journal, his handwriting contrasting against hers on the bottom of the page.

"Dunno yet." He stared at the words he'd just written, what did he want to write about?

"Sounds like the start of an ode to music."

His eyes went over the words again, seeing it in that light made sense. Maybe he'd try and make it go in that direction. "You're right, it does."

Ella smiled once again, feeling very much overjoyed at the new experience she'd just gone through. She was sad about the fact that she hadn't caught at least something on camera, having left it in the other room after the battery died earlier.

When they went back to where the rest of the band and James were, sipping on beer bottles as they chatted, her cheeks hurt from smiling. They showed them all what they'd come up with and Alex made sure they heard Ella's idea.

Matt had stood up and crushed Ella in a hug, "That sounds fucking lovely, welcome to the band Ellie." Her giggles filled the room as Matt squeezed her tighter and she tried to get away from him.

"Thanks but I'll leave that to y'all, I'm not a rockstar." Matt let go of her, and ruffled her hair just to annoy her. She shrieked as her hair came all over her face, she poked him in the ribs making him yelp so loud, it got a chesty laugh out of her.

Alex couldn't wipe the smile out of his face, nothing would. Not only had he gotten Ella to be part of this experience but she had enjoyed it, and seeing her genuinely happy was all he wanted. He'd have to get used to not having her with him in the way he wanted, as long as he had her as a friend then that'd have to be enough.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

The days had gone by fast—between songs getting written on and wiped off the whiteboard they had on the room now, demos getting sent and returned, Ross Orton joining James Ford in the production of some of the songs, days they'd stayed well past the time they had planned, spending weekends at different places of the city. The year was going incredibly well so far.

One afternoon of the very last week of January, they had found themselves rather bored and stuck. They had gone to a pub the night before and they'd been absolutely plastered before it was even two in the morning.

Ella vaguely remembered holding Breana's hair back as she heaved in the pub's bathroom from her attempt at taking consecutive shots of tequila.

So they were all wearing sunglasses indoors, the curtains were closed—but it wasn't doing much because they were pretty much see-through—, sitting in the worst positions on the settees.

"Shouldn't we have just taken the day off?" Jamie wondered with a groan, he had drank just enough but having to basically carry Nick out of the pub to the cab and out of the cab and to the hotel was what had exhausted him completely. "Not even James, nor Ross are coming today."

"It was already booked for us, mate." Replied Alex, his head thrown back and resting on the back of the settee.

Ella grimaced as she sat back straighter and reached for her bag, she smiled seeing the ziplock bag she'd brought with her. She didn't even know why she'd thought it would be the best idea to bring them to the studio but if there was a possibility of nursing their hangovers then she'd take it.

"Would these help?" She lifted the plastic bag in the air, it said 'sandwich bag' and it made her chuckle because inside there could be seen five thick spliffs waiting to be smoked.

No one really cared to see what it was. Ten in the morning was too early for them to want to be there, but when she moved the bag around in the air and opened it, the smell of weed hit them so suddenly that they instantly perked up.

Alex straightened up beside her, taking his sunglasses off and squinting to adjust to the light coming from outside. "What the fuck?"

Nick cleared his throat, "Didn't know you smoked."

"Don't be too surprised." She shrugged, getting her lighter and resting the ziplock bag on her lap, "University parties get you started quite easily..." She trailed off trying to figure out how it would work out, "Should we just pass it around or do each of you want your own?"

"Let's pass it around, so we can smoke for longer." Jamie said logically, he'd rather smoke slowly and throughout the day than finish the weed in fifteen minutes and then have to endure the day being sleepy and still hungover.

Ella lit up the first one, taking a long drag of it and relishing in the familiar feeling of the smoke in her throat. She let the smoke out and passed the spliff to Alex, who mirrored her actions.

By the time the second spliff was done, they were chatting about stupid things. They'd gotten hungry and seeing that it was past noon, they all settled in ordering McDonald's—there had been an overall consensus on how it was the best food to have while high.

They had basically smoked the whole day and when they had smoked the last two, consecutively, it was already nighttime. They were all outside stargazing, the blue of the night so piercing that the spheres of plasma contrasted brightly against it and let their presence known to anyone who could catch it.

For some reason she had started going on and on about everything she knew about galaxies, space and celestial objects. Surprisingly, the lads encouraged her to keep going which ended up in all of them agreeing on how, as kids, they thought that by 2013 they'd be driving flying cars and being able to buy lightsabers at the shops—even admitting that they'd thought time traveling would've been a thing already.

That's how they had ended up back in the recording room, completely determined on how they had to make a song about it all. She'd sat beside Alex, reading the things they'd all come up with and nodding like it was the best line ever written. Jamie was playing the guitar and Nick his bass, Matt patting his thighs as he analyzed what his friends were composing.

She wasn't sure what had happened afterwards as she woke up and found herself sleeping on the biggest settee of their usual recording room. Alex was sleeping on the one adjacent and Matt was snoring away on the floor, with a cushion under his head.

Her groan made the two men stir in their slumber. She grabbed her phone that was thrown in a corner of the room and saw that it was five in the morning. Her back was killing her, why the fuck hadn't we just taken a cab home? she wondered as she walked out to the bathroom.

From afar she saw Jamie sleeping peacefully on the settee in the keyboards room and Nick sleeping on the one by the kitchen.

She was grateful she had been way too hungover to actually do her makeup the day before so the smudge of her mascara was very minimal and she got rid of it easily by washing her face.

Once she was done, she went to the kitchen to make some coffee for everyone. She was drinking a glass of water when Nick's voice startled her.

"Good morning, why the fuck did we sleep here?" Since he'd just woken up, his voice was so much deeper than usual and it actually surprised her.

"I have no idea, I don't even remember at what time we fell asleep."

Nick sighed, rubbing his eyes and stood up slowly. "What time is it?"

"Like five twenty" She cringed, it was still dark out but the birds could be heard singing softly.

The bassist cussed and left to use the toilet. She poured herself and Nick a cup of coffee, it was piping hot as it had just been made in the coffee maker the studio had.

It took about half an hour for everyone to wake up, Matt being the last and the one who complained the most.

"Why would yous let me sleep on the fucking floor?" He said through his teeth, making an appearance in the kitchen.

Jamie scoffed, "I tried to get you on one of the settees but you ran back to the main room saying you had to add something to the song."

Ella remembered then that they had all made a song, "Oh my god... We made a song, didn't we?" They all nodded, sipping on their coffees. "Fuck, I don't even know if I wanna listen to it."

But as soon as they finished with their drinks and they had washed and dried it all, they went to the recording room to hear the demo. The bass was prominent in it, and the guitars complimented it perfectly. Alex's voice was slurred and it made them all laugh, but they quieted down at the guitar solo by the end of the recording.

"The guitars are fucking sick in this one." Ella said in appreciation, she was not expecting something actually that good when they had all been in the worst state.

Nick agreed, looping it back to hear the guitar solo once more. "Has b-side potential, to be fair."

They played it once more, hearing the lyrics more closely this time.

It's two thousand and thirteen all across the galaxy

It's two thousand and thirteen

So, baby, take a walk with me

Past flying cars and time machines

There's magic like you won't believe

Ella let the song reach its end to comment, "We are aware that the galaxy is far older, right? Like..." She paused to clear her dry throat, "It was only Jesus who was supposedly born two thousand and thirteen years ago, not the galaxy..."

Matt let out a loud sigh, "Ellie, we're not high anymore so stop nerding out."

"That's just common knowledge–" She argued.

"Ella." He replied sternly.

"Matthew J Helders the third," She said back in the same tone. "Shut. Up."

"Yes Matt, fuck off." Nick sided with Ella and Jamie repeated the same phrase to support the motion.

The drummer scoffed, "Why am I being bullied right now?"

"Because you deserve it." Alex replied this time.

Matt frowned, "I do not."

"I still remember you slandering Bre's favorite Fleetwood Mac record so if you want to keep your stunning girlfriend then shut up."

That had been the only reason why Matt stood quiet for a good ten seconds, and then he told her. "I can't stand you."

Ella gave him a cynical smile, "The feeling is mutual."

Jamie cackled at them, "You two are like fucking siblings arguing, I swear."

Before they could continue bickering though, they heard the front door being opened and closed and by the time they went out to see who it was, they were greeted by the sight of David coming in.

"Good morning everyone," Dave greeted with a smile on his face. "Was coming to check on you, how are you feeling? Slept well?"

Alex nodded, "Yeah mate, thanks very much."

"I tried to get you all a ride home but you all agreed on staying so..." The bearded man added and they all nodded.

"Thank you for letting us stay, man." Matt patted his back in gratitude. "We're just gonna go pick everything up and then we'll leave."

They didn't have the studio booked for the next few days so they gathered all of their stuff up and tidied the rest of the things they had used. They left the place as the sun rose up, Ella waved them off as she took the opposite direction to where they were going. Alex saw the sun hitting the little mirrorball hanging from her rearview mirror, making the light reflect all over the inside of her car.

"Love you guys! Bye!" She yelled out her rolled down window, disappearing into the highway.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

Things had been going normal. After those three days they'd had in a sense of a small break, they had gone back to the studio with fresh ideas and the energy buzzed in the room whenever they were all together.

Ella had been more and more invested in the whole process, sometimes asking each of the guys what different things did or how they managed to get an instrument to sound the way it did in their demos. James had gotten used to having Ella beside him in the days Ross wasn't at the studio.

She was usually there first, smoking away as she waited for them, greeting whoever arrived first with a lovely smile and her arms open and ready for a hug.

That's why at the start of the second week of February, Alex had been incredibly confused at not seeing her already there when he got to Rancho de la Luna at eight in the morning.

He greeted David, asking him if Ella was already inside and when he shook his head, the singer's confusion grew. Maybe she'll be late today, he'd told himself so he didn't worry but just in case, he'd left her a text.

(11/02/2013 08:13) Hi Ellie, good morning. Around what time are you coming today? Was surprised to not see you when I got here xx

Slowly, everyone started coming in and when James got to the studio at around ten in the morning, that's when Alex started worrying even more. They hadn't seen her as she usually didn't go to the studio on the weekends like them, where is she? She wasn't one to just miss a work day or be late and not say anything.

Around noon, Matt had gotten a call from Breana—who was currently out in New York for a modeling gig—and Alex would've teased him about how they truly couldn't live without the other if it wasn't for Matt's worried facial expression.

The call was rather quick and all of his replies were meek, it was strange for him to talk like that with Bre so he started to wonder if they had fought or something, but then Matt had told her "Alright, I love you" with a loopy grin on his face before he hung up that had Alex discarding the thought.

Everyone was looking at him expectantly because the call seemed to have had a negative effect on his mood and they wanted to know if everything was alright.

Matt sighed, "Ellie's not gonna make it today, maybe not even the rest of the week." Alex's heart sank at the thought of something having happened to her that could keep her from going to the studio. "She's not feeling very well apparently."

Alex felt his whole body grow cold and it was an instant reaction for him to pick up his phone and leave the room to call her.

He dialed her number over and over for about ten times but none were answered, so he went back to texting her in hopes that it was just that she was ill and had fallen asleep.

(11/02/2013 12:06) Ellie, is everything okay? Bre's just called saying you weren't feeling good and that you'll be missing the next few days here. Just let me know when you see this that you're fine xx

(11/02/2013 12:07) Did you catch a cold? I'll come over with some soup for you, I promise I make the best chicken noodle soup (either it is good or my mum lied) xx

(11/02/2013 12:08) You're probably asleep and I'm being an absolute knob making your phone ring over and over. I'll stop now but just let me know what's going on. Sending you loads of hugs xxxx

The more Alex stared at the clock, the slower time went by. He was too distracted to care about what was going on in the recording room, everyone having to bring him back to reality every five minutes.

By the time it was one thirty in the afternoon, he hadn't been able to take it any longer so he excused himself and ran outside to call Breana. He didn't even care if he'd be interrupting her photoshoot by calling her over and over, he had to know if Ella was okay.

When he rang her for the fifth time, he got his call answered. "Jesus Christ, Alex, is everything alright?"

He was so relieved the model finally picked up, "Yes. Everything's good. Just... Ella. What happened to Ella? Is she okay?"

Breana felt silent, only the shutter of the camera and the clicking of heels on the floor was heard for a few seconds, "Erm, yes. She's just not feeling well."

"Did she get ill? I've been trying to call her and she won't answer." His voice was laced with worry and that wasn't missed by Bre.

Silence again, "Yes..." Bre replied but it sounded like a question and that's when Alex knew she was full of shit.

"Bre, what happened? Is she okay?" His voice got firmer, he didn't understand why she'd be keeping quiet about anything happening to her best friend.

She sighed, "Alex, she's not feeling well and that's all that I can tell you. I promised her I wouldn't say anything else."

"So something did happen," The singer insisted, "Bre, at least let me know her address so I can go check up on her."

"Alex–" The model started in protest but he was quick to interrupt her.

"Bre, you're far away and not coming back until next week. At least let me be the one to check up on her. I just wanna know if she's okay." He heard her sigh and when the line stood silent he continued, "I don't care if she's just ill and you probably think I'm overreacting, I'd rather do that and find out she's okay than brush it off and find out afterwards that something worst has happened and she's been alone."

"Fucking hell, Alex," Breana cursed, giving into his point. "I'll send you it in a text, but just... let me know how she's doing when you get there okay? And hug her tightly for me, please."

He felt like he could finally breathe, "'Course. Cheers, Bre."

It was only seconds after hanging up that Breana sent him Ella's address through text. His hands were sweaty as he went back inside and told the lads he'd be leaving for the day. He didn't even give them time to ask why, because he was out the door as soon as he'd finished his sentence.

Ella's home was only an hour away from the studio but traffic had held him back forty minutes, he'd been fidgeting in his seat all the way to her medium sized one floor house which was painted a gorgeous light green color.

Alex was quick to park his rental-car on her driveway which only had her car present, he figured she had her bike inside her garage. Without missing a beat, he got out of the car and with long fast strides reached her white door and knocked on it.

A long minute went by and no one was opening the door, he knocked harder and rang the doorbell before knocking furiously again. He heard shuffling behind the door and he was relieved but when the door opened, he felt every bit of worry fall over him like a ton of bricks.

Ella was still in her pajamas—a big gray shirt almost covering her red flannel shorts—, her eyes were puffy and just as red as her nose, her hair was a mess in tangles on a bun atop of her head and she had a glass half full on her right hand.

The last person she'd expected was the singer to be standing outside her door, "Alex, what are you doing here?" She was so tired of everything, she just wanted to be alone and wallowing in self pity not having to worry about how she looked and how she was dealing with the shit show that had just unfolded in her life.

"Hey Ellie," His voice was so soft, she was surprised at how just hearing him had felt like a hug. "Are you okay?" He asked, very much worried but not really knowing what to do.

"How did you even find my address? Did Ben or Aaron give you it, I'll kill them." She ranted, on the brink of exploding in anger. Her emotions were a mess, she was a mess, she had no idea what the fuck to do anymore. Nothing made sense to her anymore.

"No, no, I had to beg Bre for it, but what's wrong?" He wanted to know why she looked so broken or, if anything, he just wanted to comfort her. "What are you even drinking?" He took a step towards her and into her house and she stepped back but with the sigh she'd let out, the alcohol in her breath hit him. "Ellie, it's only three in the afternoon."

She laughed, without a hint of humor, "Alex, I truly rather be drunk right now. I do not fucking care what time it is."

He shook his head, watching her leave so he closed the door behind him and followed her steps. "No, absolutely not." He stated and tried to get the glass from her.

"Yes Alex," She downed what was left on the glass before he could get to her, wincing at the whiskey burning her throat. "I've run out of cigarettes, have no weed, I look too crazy to even bother going out to get shit and all I have is whiskey and a few bottles of wine." She used her fingers to count all the misfortunes that had come after the blow she'd taken the night before.

She turned to the whiskey bottle and poured herself another glass, way too full, but it was what she needed. She took a gulp of it and whispered a curse after it struggled to go down her throat.

"Ella, you're gonna have to stop right now." His words were firm, he was trying to be patient but he didn't want her drinking her problems away.

She rolled her eyes, setting the glass down harshly so the alcohol splashed around it. "Alex– I truly don't need you to be logical right now." She took a deep shaky breath and continued, "Just leave okay? You've seen I'm alive. I'm just not feeling good so just go, you have shit to do much more important than me and my fucking mess of a life." The way her voice broke saying that last sentence had him frowning deeper, he wanted to do something, anything to stop feeling the hurt she clearly was was feeling.

"What's wrong, darling? Talk to me." Alex hadn't called her that in a long time, not after he'd caught his mistake in doing that after that call at the Olympics opening ceremony, but he just couldn't help it. He'd tried to reach for her hand but she'd flinched away at the pet name.

It had made her wince, thinking back to what Arielle had told her the month prior about how Alex had called her that as he'd fucked her dumb. She felt so fucking pathetic, so far from special. Am I the problem? She had wondered that all night, as she cried herself to sleep.

She was tired of crying but she couldn't stop it. She was tired of people making her cry, making her believe that she wasn't worthy of anything.

She slowly turned around, sighing heavily before admitting, "He fucking cheated, Al."

Alex felt a blow to his chest, "What?"

Ella's tears cascaded down automatically, breaking his heart in a million little pieces for her. "He's fucking cheated on me, I–" She started but she had to stop as a sob ripped through her. "And you wanna know how I found out? Because his parents caught him in a lie. He told them he'd be going out on dinner with me and when they went to surprise us, they found him with someone else." Her voice raised as she narrated everything, fury in her eyes and the heartbreak making her tremble.

"He fucking admitted to it to them, how he's been seeing this girl for over a month, but when they told him he had to tell me the truth, he fucking refused." A loud scoff came from her, "His mom has had to fucking call me and tell me because this fucking cunt didn't have the balls to say it." She was so baffled, sobbing in disbelief.

Why does it always happen to me? She'd asked herself so many times, she had given up on an answer.

She sniffled, wiping her nose, "So now I've had to break up with him over the fucking phone because I know I wouldn't have been able to do it in person."

Alex walked slowly to get closer to her, not wanting to startle her. "Ellie I'm–" His words were cut by Ella's words of desperation.

"I fucking wanted to marry him Alex! I thought he was it for me!" Pure agony was what was filling every inch of her body and soul. "We had started trying for a baby." She broke down in loud sobs that made her hiccup as she tried to get oxygen back in her lungs.

Alex had no idea what to say to that, he wanted to do nothing more than to murder Julian after torturing him in the most sadistic ways. But she was his priority, making her feel better was what he had to do. He was quick to envelope her in a tight hug, she cried harder hidden in his chest as she fisted his maroon shirt.

Her tears bleed through his shirt and it felt like her heartache was burning his skin. "I just want this hurt gone, I feel like my chest is caving in, Al. I want it gone. Please." Ella begged and her body trembled in his arms. In that moment, all he could think was how he'd do anything to be able to take away the pain from her—he'd carry all of her burdens if it meant she'd be eternally happy, like she deserved.

His left hand was rubbing up and down her back, his right hand holding her head to his chest. He softly shushed her trying to calm her down in the slightest, he had never been good at consoling crying women, but for Ella he'd try and excel at anything she needed from him. "It's gonna be alright Ellie, I promise. You are gonna be okay."

Alex had her walk to the settee with him, she just let him guide her as her cries did nothing but increase.

Pathetic, pitiful, worthless, meaningless, replaceable.

That's all she felt about herself and she hated it, with a deep burning passion.

Alex sat down with her and she scooted onto his side, needing the warmth of his touch around her. She needed someone even if she didn't want to admit it and Alex was determined on keeping his hold on her for as long as she wanted it to.

His fingers started scratching her head, making her relax in her arms. Her sobs started to quiet down after five minutes and her breath slowed down.

"I'm here okay? I'm not leaving." He assured her, looking down at her still shielding on his chest.

She nodded, and she whined softly at the waves of memories coming back to her trying to push her back into a breakdown.

It had been like that since she'd gotten the phone call the night before, she would cry for hours and eventually calm down finding some sleep which was interrupted by the situation being reflected in her dreams, making her start sobbing all over again. She'd only gotten a total of three hours of sleep the night before.

A thought flashed through her head, making her break the hug as her skin crawled in disgust for herself. "I hate this so much," She muttered, recoiling to the corner of the settee, the furthest she could from Alex. "I'm gonna have to go and get tested now, not only for pregnancy but for everything else 'cause I don't even know who he's been fucking. I feel so disgusting."

The singer scooted closer to her, rubbing her arms which were hugging her folded legs closely to her chest.

"He's an absolute prick. I'm so sorry, Ellie. I really truly am." His honesty was so clear but she couldn't take it.

She started crying again, shaking her head. "You have nothing to apologize for. He should be."

That made Alex scowl, "Did he not?"

Ella chuckled entirely unamused at the memory of her phone call to him that had happened earlier that day. "He did, over and over but it just made me sick. He said it so many times it started sounding weird. He didn't mean it at all. He's only sorry for himself, that he got caught."

"I want to kill him." Alex said simply.

Her face contorted in pity for herself, because she still felt how much she loved him. "I want this to be a sick and twisted joke." Her chin wobbled, and he knew exactly what it meant.

Of course she still loved him. That's the type of person she was, always a giver. And she never half assed anything so when she loved, she loved in the very best way: passionately and endlessly. He knew that from the way she talked about her family, her friends, her hobbies, her job.

She threw herself in his arms again and sobbed away, none of them noticing how she was basically straddling his lap and how her breasts were pressed against his chest. Her face was buried on his neck and his arms wrapped around her again, the same way they had been doing before. He could feel the erratic thumping of her heart on the other side of his.

It had been an hour that it had taken Ella to exhaust herself to sleep. When her breathing slowed down and he heard one of her soft snores in his ear, he felt relief flooding his system. He knew then that hated seeing her cry, he hated seeing her in despair, sleep deprived—her dark circles were prominent when she'd opened the door and the sunlight hit her face—, relying on alcohol to drown her sorrows.

She deserved so much better.

He stood up from the sofa with her still in his arms, slowly to not wake her up but not even if he had been more careless could she have startled awake. She was in a deep sleep, having found comfort after long hours of misery.

He set her down on her bed, which was still unmade but not that messy which confirmed to him that she hadn't slept well at all the previous night. The covers were soon over her and all the way up to her chin, she'd let out a sound of satisfaction as she snuggled her pillows.

Alex decided to kick his shoes off and sit beside her, watching her peacefully sleep. Sometimes she'd flinch and start crying, hot tears falling from her closed eyes and wetting the pillow under her head. He'd rub her back, whispering 'you're okay, you're okay' until she settled back down, but it hurt him having to see her like that in the first place.

He felt so helpless.

After about three hours, seeing that she was in deep slumber, he thought it would be good for him to get some food. She had definitely not eaten at all that day so she'd be hungry when she woke up. He slowly put his shoes on and exited her house, grabbing her house keys and writing a little note before leaving.

Alex let himself smile fondly at the Tennessee keychain she had, a little silver cowboy boot it was and it reminded him of her mirrorball.

He had seen a few restaurants about ten minutes from her house so he settled for proximity rather than finding a restaurant he knew was good. The thing he least wanted was for her to wake up and see him gone, even if he had left a note.

The singer had decided to get some films from the redbox rental her neighborhood Walgreens had, wanting her to get distracted and enjoy herself for a little.

Despite him rushing to get back as soon as possible, and getting annoyed at himself for taking much longer than anticipated, when he got back she was still asleep. But it was eight in the evening then, so he had to wake her up to have her eat.

He dropped everything he'd gotten slowly on her kitchen counter and he walked carefully into her room. The bed dipping beside her had her stirring, so he felt less bad when he started brushing her hair back and softly whispered her name to have her wake up.

She'd hummed in response to hearing her name being called and he grinned at her pout, she was so effortlessly breathtaking—it was beyond his understanding.

"C'mon darling, I brought you some food." He finally said and she mumbled gibberish in response, "There's ice cream too and some films."

Her eyes slowly peeled open, her pout was replaced by a frown because she didn't remember much of how the hell Alex had ended up in her house.

Regardless, she rubbed her eyes awake and yawned. Slowly but surely she got up and threaded to the bathroom to freshen up, Alex told her he'd be serving their food in the kitchen and to join him when she was ready.

Twenty minutes later, she was out of the bathroom. Freshly showered, with her hair damp and wetting the back of her shirt. She'd changed her pjs for a 'Queens of the Stone Age' big shirt and some joggers.

Alex wanted to coo, seeing her hugging herself as she walked to the living room where he had set everything up. Italian food—her favorite—, a few bottles of Mexican coke he'd found in a bodega next to Walgreens, and 'Sherlock Holmes' ready to play on her TV.

Ella felt a knot tightening up in her throat, she was sure what she'd needed was to be miserable by herself until she'd cried all of her tears but seeing him there, sitting in her living room after having brought her food and shit that would make her feel better with the sweetest smile on his face, reminded her that she needed someone to help her during tough times.

Her pout grew on her face, and Alex was quick to stop her from getting herself worked out over nothing. "Hey, Ellie. It's okay, c'mere." She nodded and walked towards him, tears slowly filling her eyes and threatening to spill. He turned to her once she was sitting beside him and brushed his thumbs on the apples of her cheeks, "Don't cry okay? Let's watch a film and eat well so we can have a good sleep tonight, yeah?"

A tear slipped down and he was quick to wipe it, he pressed a kiss on her forehead to then turn and grab her plate for her. "Here," He handed her the plate, "Spinach ravioli bolognese, your favorite."

A pathetic little chuckle fell from her lips as she received the dish, it indeed was her favorite. "Oh, you remember."

He watched her as she placed the plate on her lap, sitting straight next to him. "Of course I do. I remember loads of things," But it wasn't about that in this situation, so he got her excited for the movie. "Have you seen this one? People say it's great."

Ella had been sure she wasn't hungry but at the smell of her favorite food reaching her nose, her stomach growled. She blushed, shaking her head at Alex's question, "I haven't, no."

Alex smiled at her, and pressed play but as the opening credits rolled, he pushed her softly to start eating. "I wanna know if you like it, try a little bit."

"Well, how different can it be from any other place? I'm sure it's good." Ella replied as she stirred some of the sauce around with her fork.

"Just a bite," He negotiated, "For me?"

The pout on his face seemed to twist her arm, she gave him a tight lip smile before she shoved a bite into her mouth. Her smile got bigger then, as she savored the food. "It's really good," He smiled, pleased to see that she liked it. "Thank you, Al."

He nodded before grabbing his own plate and they both ate slowly as the film played. It had gotten her giggling and quietly gasping at different moments, which made his heart swell inside of him. When the end credits rolled, he asked her if she'd liked it to which she gave him an excited nod of her head. She was smiling, small grins, but it was what he wanted to get from her.

Alex took the dishes to wash them and Ella followed after him with the empty coke bottles and complained about him doing the dishes in her house. He just stared at her right in the eyes as he quickly washed what they'd used and his smirk got bigger the more she complained.

"You're annoying." Ella simply stated when he was done.

Alex chuckled and walked over to her fridge, "Would some ice cream help you forgive me for being annoying?"

"Maybe..."

She took out two small bowls and two spoons, pointing him to where she had her ice cream scooper and thanked him when he filled her bowl with three big servings of the sweet dessert.

They went back to her living room, to play the next one. He'd changed the discs quickly in her DVD player and played the new movie in record time, "I've actually seen this one already, pretty good. You'll like it."

She saw Ryan Gosling on the cover of the DVD case and nodded, "Give me anything Ryan Gosling and I'll love it."

He laughed, and nodded, "Brilliant." and turned to watch the screen just as 'Drive' showed on the screen.

About thirty minutes into the movie, Alex's phone started going off so he excused himself to go outside and pick it up.

It was Breana, who had been texting him over and over because he hadn't given her an update on Ella like he'd promised. He cursed under his breath and closed the door behind him. He'd told Ella to keep watching but she was honestly just trying to please him by watching it with him. She'd been lost in her thoughts all through the start of it, seeing the main characters subtly flirt with one another had made her tragedies catch up to her again and made her silently crumble.

She'd left two of her windows open since the morning, when she'd been smoking her sorrows away until she ran out, so she could hear what Alex was saying.

"Hi, I'm so sorry," She knew he'd lit up a cigarette because she could smell the burning tobacco making its way inside her house. "Got caught up with everything and forgot about my phone." She heard nothing but silence for a few seconds until he started debriefing, "She's okay. I had her sleep for a few hours and got her food, we've been eating and watching some films." She was so confused as to who he was talking to but then he mentioned a name that had her in the brink of tears again. "Bre, I–. Yes, she was crying a lot but she's stopped for now." She wanted nothing more than for her best friend to be there but, alas, Ella's life seemed to be highlighted by always having the worst timing. "If she lets me then yes, I don't want her to be alone while she's going through this. Much less if there's a slight possibility of that cunt coming to bother her."

It didn't sound like jealousy in his voice, just plain anger at what Julian had done to her and in that moment she realized that maybe Alex and her were meant to be friends. Despite the direction things had taken when they'd first met, maybe they were meant to have a strong friendship so they could be there for each other, have each other's backs.

Ella realized how good it felt to have him there with her, because he understood her in a way that only a few people did and he made her feel calm. She needed that.

His voice could be heard further away as she went to her kitchen after pausing the movie and saw the other things that Alex had bought for her: two little bags of gummies, a dark chocolate bar, another Mexican coke, and a pack of Marlboro reds.

He was a life saver, truly.

She opened the pack and grabbed a cigarette, placed it on her mouth and, after closing her windows down, she joined him outside.

He'd gotten scared by the sudden movement at the door behind him, she laughed as she came to stand beside him and he lit her cigarette up at her silent question for it.

"Thank you." She muttered and he smiled in response.

Alex nodded and hummed at whatever Breana was saying, "Yes, Bre, I know and I won't. You have my word." A cloud of smoke left his lips when he chuckled, "I'll text you later, bye."

Ella watched through the corner of her eye as he hung up and placed his phone in the back pocket of his jeans.

"Thought I told you to keep watching without me." His gaze came over her, watching her relish in the bad habit they both had.

"You did, but I needed a breather." Ella admitted.

Alex nodded and they both fell to their tangled thoughts. She was lost trying to find answers to the one question echoing the most in her head, why? And he was stuck thinking about what he could do to switch her hurt for brief moments of joy.

"Are you feeling better?"

It took her a minute to answer, her eyes lost in the sky and the sight of the moon. So beautiful and unbothered, shining over every single person on Earth so effortlessly.

"It's a weird thing, honestly. I feel just... numb. Like I'm in shock and don't even know if what's happened is real but then I suddenly feel it all coming over me like I'm getting swallowed by fire and I'm burning alive, but somehow the emptiness I feel in my chest overpowers it all." Word vomit, that's what it had been and she shook her head at herself. "I'm talking out of my ass, aren't I?" Pathetic.

But when Alex instantly shook his head, she felt relieved. "No, you're not. He deserves hell, Ellie, not you. And he surely doesn't deserve your tears or your heartache." He threw the last of his cigarette on the floor and took two steps to be right beside her. He threw his arm around her shoulders and let it fall until he could hug her tightly to his side.

She let her head fall on his shoulder, "I've begged for hours that this is a nightmare but I've pinched myself enough times to know I'm unfortunately awake."

"I'm sorry, Ellie." He kissed the top of her head, and then rested his cheek on it. "But I know you, and I know you're gonna be okay. The shadow of his actions that's following you right now will wither away in time, but it will haunt him till the end of his days."

Tears had started falling again but this time in frustration when she explained, "I hate that my brain wants him to suffer but my heart is begging to spare him some mercy."

"Your heart will catch up, just be patient with it."

He was so good at just saying things like that, it blew her away really. "God, you're so poetic. No wonder you ended up a musician." She felt his chest tremble as he laughed, the cold breeze was a nice contrast to the warmth she felt by being held by Alex. "Thank you, by the way."

That had him lifting his head to look down at her, "What for?"

Ella was still pressed to his side but she tilted her head back slightly to look up at him. "The food, the movies, the candy, the cigarettes, letting me ruin your shirt with my tears, letting me ruin your day with my tragedies, begging Bre for my address, spending the day with me..." She was glad he was there, she was glad to have him. "You're a true friend, Alex Turner."

It hurt, 'friend', but he promised himself that that'd have to be enough for him so it would. He gave her the sweetest smile, "No need to thank me darling, I will always be here for you. No matter what." And he meant that—even if he was on the other side of the world, he was determined to always be there for her. "And you didn't ruin my day, if anything you saved me from Matt being insufferable since Bre is in New York."

She giggled, wiping her tears with her right hand. "Ugh, yeah. He must be unbearable."

Ella decided she was done with her cigarette, so she flicked it and watched it die in the ground of her driveway a couple of feet from her and Alex. She brought her arm to circle around Alex's waist and squeezed him softly, "Let's go back inside."

Alex nodded and dropped his arm from around her, Ella started walking ahead of him back to the front door but stopped in her steps when Alex spun her around by her wrist and crushed her in a hug.

"That one's from Bre," The singer said in her ear, "Forgot to deliver it until now, sorry."

She melted in laughter in his hold. He was such an idiot and she was so damn grateful he'd pestered Bre into giving him her address because she truly didn't know what it would've been of her if she'd spent the day completely alone.

They went back inside and finished the film, which ended up being really good and she'd be sure it would be one she'd watch more times in the future. It wasn't too late, barely midnight but she was falling asleep slowly, the exhaustion catching up to her.

Her yawn made him turn to her, he was gonna have her go to bed and then leave but she offered him to stay before she could even stand up from the settee.

Alex accepted, of course. If Ella hadn't offered, he knew he'd go back to the hotel and then be at her door in the morning to make sure she was alright.

She showed him the guest room and reminded him of where the bathroom was. She'd offered him clothes for him to sleep in but he kindly turned them down as he was fine just sleeping in his underwear.

He had managed to get some sleep for a few hours when he was suddenly woken up by her sobs at three in the morning. He wasn't sure what the noise was at first, too sleep drunk to grasp any logic but when he realized it was her crying, his heart broke.

Alex debated within himself if it would be good to just go and get her to calm down or if he should just let her cry it out but when he heard silence and then another heart ripping sob, he got up and walked to her room.

He knocked softly on her door twice before opening the door, his heart broke seeing her against her headboard hugging her legs. The brightness coming from her phone screen was the only thing keeping the room from being absolutely pitch black.

She saw him blurry through the tears, his hair ruffled and his clothes on his body messily. He hadn't had time to properly button his shirt up, too busy trying to check on her as soon as he could to put every button in its correct place.

"Ellie..." Alex cooed, approaching her as she sniffled, trying to calm herself down.

The second he reached her bed and sat beside her, he saw exactly what she'd been doing. She'd been looking at pictures of her and Julian, not the ones that she'd post but the random domestic ones like the one currently frozen in time on her phone. She looked to have been doing her makeup when he interrupted with a hug, their smiles so big on their faces it made her shiver—it felt like those two people in the picture were making fun of her.

Alex locked her phone and in a quick motion hugged her to his chest.Ella broke down all over again, clutching him like it was the only way she'd hold onto reality and not lose her mind altogether.

"Let's not do that, alright?" He suggested, rubbing her back.

She trembled under his touch from the force and continuity of her sobs, it had been such a stupid idea to go through her phone before going to sleep. Her nod was so small that he'd missed it but he continued on consoling her, pressing kisses to her head and talking in her ear.

"You're okay. He's a fucking idiot. He doesn't deserve your tears. He didn't and doesn't deserve you."

There was sweet conviction laced in his words, somehow Alex telling her helped more than if she tried to tell herself. It resonated more, it echoed louder inside her mind.

"I just don't understand it." Ella hated having to bring it all up again, but when it was all silence around her was when the questions would hunt her down. "A fucking month, he's been fucking someone else and sneaking off while I've been here like a love struck puppy stupidly waiting for him to come back. I feel so used and so stupid."

He lifted his head from where it had been resting on top of hers, so that she'd look at him. It was so dark but he could clearly see the soft sparkle of her eyes. "You're not stupid, Ella. You're the smartest one of us all."

She bit her lip trying not to cry again, chin wobbling at her naivety. "I'm clearly not. I didn't see it happening right in front of my eyes. Fuck knows if she was the only one." She let her head fall back, pressed against her headboard while she stared at the ceiling. The ceiling was the only part of her room she could see that didn't spark memories. "He's everywhere I look, Alex. Every inch of my house is tarnished with him and it's making me feel sick."

Her breath faltered, tears rolling down the corner of her eyes and falling down her temples. She'd started spiraling when she closed her door and suddenly her eyes seemed to only fall on bits that reminded of him. And she had tried her hardest to ignore it, to just think of anything else and let it pass but her heart ached to look back at every moment they'd spent together and she'd been too weak to say no.

Too weak, too naive. Stupid, stupid, stupid. All she felt was stupid.

The more her tears fell on his shoulder, the more Alex could hear her heart tearing apart. "I know, darling. But it will get better."

She straightened up, as her insides filled with anguish. She had no hope left. "I don't see how it can. He was everything. My everything."

He squeezed her tighter and she lifted her head up to rest on his shoulder again. His hand unwavering as it rubbed up and down her arm, warming the coldness in her. How could someone blatantly ruin someone like this? It was so insolent. "I know it's easier said than done, but you'll forget. You'll make new memories to replace the tarnished ones. And with time, the hurt will go and the beauty will remain." Because she seemed to glow so bright when was with Julian and he'd hate to see her dull away.

Ella started crying even more, "How stupid is it that I don't want to let the memories go though? I do this all the fucking time, I cling to every bit I have left of people until I just become numb to losing them one random day. But it's just an endless loop of torture until I get to that point, why can't I just skip this all?" It had only been a day, and she was already exhausted. "I don't even want to be in my own bedroom anymore."

"I know, I know." His hand left her arm to start scratching her head, he smiled slowly when he heard her sigh in content at the feeling. "But think about how this room could easily become your salvation if you ever accidentally let Matt and Breana stay over. And you know how shameless they can be—you'll have to start a new life just in here so you don't accidentally get flashed with Matt's arse. And believe me you really don't. Not a pretty sight at all." That was his awful attempt to lighten her mood up and it seemed to have worked when she snorted and her body shook with laughter.

In between chuckles she managed to respond, "You're an idiot."

Alex hummed a 'no', faux-defensive. "No, Breana is the idiot for going for someone like Matt. Me and you both saw him when we were high in the studio. That line about the galaxy being two thousand years old was definitely him."

"It definitely was." Ella agreed, why would he have gotten so offended by her correction if not.

"Yeah, we're not that stupid." He further backed his point.

But Ella was quick to scoff, "No, not at all Mr. 'Little tiny fruit coming after you'. How high did you get? Rude of you to not share your hallucinogens with me."

He let out a small gasp in fake disbelief, "I've never done such a thing, Miss Hayes."

"I don't believe you. No one writes such a shit song on just weed alone."

"Okay enough of your backchat." Alex argued, but he broke out in laughter at her chosen adjective to the song. "I know it's shit but it's still getting put out, it was a very monumental moment for us. New band member and all."

She moved her head up and tilted it back to look at him with an amused expression, "Yeah, very monumental with your new Glockenspiel player bandmate that doesn't even play a thing in it." The sarcasm making him giggle and the contagious sound had her giggling with him.

After their laughter died back down, Ella felt the ball move back up her throat. And maybe it was the way she held him that little bit tighter which gave her away, but Alex didn't hesitate to pull her the tiniest bit closer and continue to stroke her arm as he asked, "You don't have to stay in here if you don't want to, we can go in the other room?"

She wanted to accept, knowing at least that would make her feel better but the brief feeling of comfort would end up in something worse, "I won't come back in here if I do that... I can't let him take more from me. He's already chewed my heart up, he's not taking anything else."

"Atta girl, see? You're already in the right direction." He could only encourage her. After all, she was going to go about it at her own pace and he'd just be there with her through it.

"I just want the pain to go away. It's not fair." It really wasn't, she couldn't help but think how she was breaking down over and over while Julian could be enjoying his time with whoever it was he'd been seeing. "There's no way he's sobbing at god knows what hour in the morning like I am. How is that fair, Al?"

"It's not, darling." The whole situation infuriated him beyond belief, he wanted to seek revenge for her but not more than he wanted to strip her of the heartbreak. "I wish I could take it all away for you. I really wish I could."

"I just want it all to go away." Ella begged. It was a plea to life, to whoever was up there that thought it was fine to have her go through that.

"It'll pass I promise, and from here it will all just get better and better for you, Ellie. I cross my heart, darling." He'd find a way to pull the strings of the universe if it wasn't soon that it'll all look up for her.

Her hazy mind was able to grasp all that and it was the last thing she remembered before she'd succumbed to slumber, every atom of her being just giving up after the efforts of the past twenty four hours.

She hadn't felt Alex leaving her after he made sure she was truly asleep so she was the tiniest bit disappointed to find herself alone in bed in the morning, without his gentle touch on her to make her feel like all would be alright.

She reprimanded herself, it was just her being greedy at that point—he had been doing more than enough and she shouldn't be asking for more.

Her movements were quiet as she completed her morning routine, trying her best not to wake him up. He'd probably been up most of the night because of her cries, she felt so guilty.

She started making breakfast, finding comfort in the sizzle of the frying eggs and bacon on the pan and the drip of the coffee coming from her Keurig. The toasts were the perfect golden brown and, as she plated everything up for them, she found herself happy over the small victory it was for her to feel even the smallest amount of joy out of cooking a small meal.

Ella decided to move dirty utensils so she could wash them, carefully placing the hot pan in the sink when she saw Alex walking down the hallway and towards the kitchen. He looked to have just come out of the bathroom, she hadn't even heard him leave the guest room in the first place.

She didn't know if it was because of the fact that she was going through the worst heartache of her life, but the sight of him with his hair ruffled and wrinkled clothes shattered her.

Not in a negative way, not that it made her want to drop to the ground and cry, but in the way that she was already mourning the fact that she'd never be able to see him like that ever again. She'd always found him so breathtakingly pretty, but the image was so mundane that it added a layer to his general beauty.

He rubbed his eyes in the most childish way, she almost wanted to scream because of how adorable he looked, "Smells good." was all he said and she grinned like an idiot, filled with gratitude.

She slid the plate towards him on the kitchen counter, "This is the 'thanks for putting up with me yesterday and I'm so sorry for keeping you up all night', kind of like the most popular breakfast on the menu."

He chuckled, looking at the food and then at her. He shook his head with a smile and walked over to hug her, "You don't need to thank me or apologize for any of that. But thank you very much for this, it looks delicious." His arms held her tightly over her shoulders, she hid away on his neck with a smile and her arms around his waist.

They stayed like that for a minute and she tried backing away but he was reluctant to let her go. She pinched his waist and laughed, "It's gonna go cold, Al. Sit down and eat."

Alex left a kiss on her temple before letting go of her and sitting on one of the high chairs to dig into the food.

Ella watched him expectantly as he grabbed some of the food with the fork and placed it on the piece of toast, he lifted it up and took a big bite of it. It was good, really good but he exaggerated his reaction to entertain her.

His moan of satisfaction had her blushing and giving him a bright smile that reached her eyes. "That's really fucking good, Ellie."

She looked down at her own serving of food and timidly said, "Glad you like it."

They continued eating, settled in a comfortable silence and when they finished, he had beat her once again to washing the dishes.

She was leaning on her forearms, by the sink, sipping on her coffee while she watched Alex. The truth is that she wanted to ask for a favor but she was too shy to ask for something else from him. He noticed though, and it was so easy to read on her face that she was dying to say something.

"What's wrong?" His voice was so calm, inviting her to just use her words.

"I, um," Ella rose back up straight, leaving her coffee cup on the kitchen counter. "Could I skip this week at the studio? I would go but I'm sure I won't be the best company while I feel like this."

A sweet smile appeared on Alex's face, "Of course you can. But I have to ask for something in exchange..."

She got the tiniest bit more nervous with that, "Which is?"

"That you let me come over and disrupt your peace every day until you're back."

Ella didn't know what she was expecting but that made her let out a breathy chuckle, "Yeah, sure."

"I could take the camera and record for you as well, so you don't have to tell Ben and Aaron."

"You sure you can work a camera?" She teased, remembering how bad at checking his phone he could be. "A phone is enough of a nightmare for you."

Alex rolled his eyes jokingly, "Yes, I know how to work a camera. How hard can it be?"

She only shook her head, "Okay, I'll get everything ready for you. Are you leaving now?" She checked the time on her microwave and it flashed a 9:25 back at them.

He nodded, drying his hands with one of her kitchen towels. "Just so I can get over with the day as fast as I can and then I'll drive back."

Her eyes froze on his face after he said that. She truly was so glad he was there with her and so willing to stay around. She nodded, and when her gaze fell to his wrinkled and tear stained shirt she frowned.

"I'm gonna lend you a shirt so I can wash yours," She pointed at it, "I ruined it."

"No you didn't. It's fine." The singer spoke back, really not worrying about it but she was quick to shake her head and leave to get a shirt out of her closet.

He followed and when he walked through her door, she was looking through her shirts. "C'mere, choose whichever you'd like. Those are the biggest shirts I have." She waved him over and he complied.

He grabbed the first black shirt he saw and when he unfolded it, he laughed. It read 'Boot, Scoot, Boogie' and it had a pair of cowboy boots beside the big words.

"It's a good country classic, to be fair." She commented with a very amused grin on her face.

Alex lifted the shirt up in the air, "Thanks, Miss Tennessee."

She felt the squeeze in her chest, the last time he'd called her that was when he'd written it in the back of their photobooth pictures—one's that were hidden away in one of her drawers in between pages of her photo albums.

"You're welcome." Ella gave him a tight lip smile, "Now go get ready, before the guys start calling you non-stop"

He waved her off, "Already told them I'd be running late."

He walked into the guest room to gather his things and put them in his pockets, changing his shirt for Ella's and he knew he'd be in the best mood all day because the second the piece of clothing was on, he was drowning in her scent.

Flowers, sweetness and that small hint of tender woods.

He was already drunk on it when he came out, maroon shirt in hand and with a beaming grin on his face.

Ella smiled seeing him with the new shirt, "Suits you well."

"Thank you, darling." Bet it looks better on you. "I'll be back later, alright?"

She nodded, exchanging the shirt in his hand for the camera bag. "You take care of that like a child, Turner."

"I will, I promise." Alex let his arm drop dramatically making it seem like he was gonna drop the bag on the floor causing her to gasp loudly.

He started cackling, her face tinting pink at how easily she'd fallen for his prank. "You dick!"

She pushed him lightly and he started walking towards the front door, "Alright, alright. I'm leaving now." He stopped as she opened the door and right before exiting he opened his arms to hug her.

Ella gracefully walked into them, he wrapped them around her and made them both sway in the embrace. "See you later, Al."

"See you soon, darling." A kiss was left on her temple before he left.

She watched as he carefully placed the bag on the floor of the passenger side and, when he backed out into the road, he waved at her before leaving.

Her chest started feeling heavy again, those hours without Alex there would be hard but she had to power through them.

She remembered his words, 'the hurt will go and the beauty will remain'. She couldn't wait for that day to come.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

A/N: I think that after this you can come to the conclusion that I'm an absolute whore for some angst, I love it so much. Bless Ella though, so sorry girl. Hope you enjoyed this one, shit is getting real now... See you soon with the next one, thank you a billion for reading! xx

Taglist: @imagine-that-100​ @red---moon​ @kennedy-brooke​ @faveficz​ @indierockgirrl​ @ladydraculasthings @moonvr​ @unwantedlovergirl​ @eaglestar31 @nikisfwn​ @funniestpersoninnyc​ @andrearroe​ @justacaliforniandreamer​ @alexturnersgf69​

[shibe-myths]

The court of Rosea

@coeluvr

I think this'll be my last update on this sketch. Sadly, I can't finish editing this work without my app committing death. Haha, It happens after 400 layers. But, hey, at least it got the general vibe, right? :P

Members of Court from left to right we have:

Asha the Frog. (Note: I'm deathly afraid of frogs IRL. But I found ONE frog species I could withstand looking at and It's this bubble-eyed bb. Obviously, I love the in-game Asha and her color-changing ways. But God am I terrified of the concept of cat-sized frogs.)

Fadiya Akter.

My MC, Vesper. Whom I UNINTENTIONALLY named Vesper De Vesphire.

Hunter Oakes.

Helios De Rosea.

Luceris De Rosea. (I gave him back a bit of his hairline- but he is on thin ice)

Lancelot!

Vincent Annora

Missing from the Picture (but whom were originally sketched out include: Ikram, Naima, Sadira, and Qasim -pls make one or both of them our shield I beg of you.)

Below the Spoilers is some easter eggs and tid bits about this sketch. (Hidden meanings and all that)

The Windows (Starting from the left to the right):

The marriage of Luceris and the MC. This most definitely wouldn't be something I would expect to be in the Palace proper but I imagine a great deal of artists would find ways to dramatize the 'wedding'.

This window depicts the past- namely the burning of the Vesphire Palace. I know you can't see it thanks to the FOUR people covering it. But I did include a mountainous castle with a town, both set to the torch. Including scenes of bloodshed. 1. The window is open, with the cold of Vesphire seeping into the court in the form of icicles and snow.

This window depicts the future. At the time I was drawing this one- Chapter 2 was technically still not out. AND BABES it was the Palace being set aflame. I just- can't!!!! hAHAHA. Anyways, it's completely covered up by Luceris AND Lancelot's body. 2. Like the other window depicting the past, this window is also open. Unfortunately, I couldn't include the smoke that was supposed to be rising from the back. (Hence the strange lighting effect on that side of the room.) It was supposed to signify the poison set by those characters' actions. But, alas. Sketchbook Pro has to be a brat.

Window four depicts the 'Farah poisoned by Catalina' scenario. Except there are cracks in the picture. The full story is not there. Did Catalina really poison Farah? If so, why did she immediately disappear without a trace? Where is she now? 1. If you look closely- I gave Farah the dead Anime mom Haircut- and no, I am NOT taking it back. We all get to live with this information. 2. Catalina and Vesper also bear a striking resemblance. Wearing the exact same dress as one another in both of their respective Stain glass windows. This is brought up MULTIPLE times within Coe's story. So i just wanted to make it even more obvious.

Vesper and Helios.

Why isn't Luceris the one sitting down? Why is Helios holding the MC's wrist? Why does Helios look so pissed? Haha, well babes, this is what I like to call an artistic representation. Neither Helios or Vesper (my MC for Coeluvr's game) are being portrayed as themselves. Instead, they are both being showcased as the embodiments of their kingdoms, Rosea and Vesphire.

Vesphire is ensnared by Rosea. Trapped. Unable to escape.

Likewise, the MC, Vesper, is JUST barely touching the throne. So close to those who destroyed their life. Yet too far from true freedom

Meanwhile Helios, or in this case, Rosea is the only one able to sit, to relax. They are the one with control in this situation.

[daifukumochiin]

Writers ask!

1. Start to finish, how long did it take to plan and write? Did you take breaks during the process?

6. How did you decide what tense and POV(s) to use?

18. Talk about your editing and revision process

26. Share your favorite detail

Since no one is curious about any particular fic, I'll just answer in a general sense, Lav 🥲 I'll address it to everyone who'd come across this post. 1. How long does it take me to plan and write a story? Do I take breaks during the process? > I don't have stellar records. So far, out of nine that I uploaded on ffnet, I have two completed one shots (one of those, I promised I'd write a part two, but I'm not interested in it anymore), a completed short multi-chapter fic, a microfic anthology, and then all the rest are WIPs. I've been DM for 7-8 years now... That's how long it is to plan my most read fic xD Technically, it is complete, but I promised some extra chapters and I could just never get it done. I'm answering in a roundabout way because I'm not as organized as Lav when planning and writing my fics. I don't keep records, I mostly go by feeling. However, if I do put my mind into it, I guess I could be the type to set a deadline and get it done. Though it's not a guarantee that I'd get the response that I hope for, and that makes me feel gutted. So, in my case, after getting familiar with my writer self through all these years, I need to believe in the importance of a fic more than anyone so that no matter the response and readership, I'd never stop until it's complete. How long does it take me to plan and write a story? Until the will to do it takes me through its completion, that's my answer. Do I take breaks? Hahaha! It's breaks that need to be taken from me.

2. How do I decide what tense and POV(s) to use? > Past. Third person limited POV. Those are my default. I don't think much about it. 3. Talk about your editing and revision process. > Even after I finish uploading a fic, I'll always end up finding errors here and there. I don't have a perfect chapter unlike PianoCoat. When I see an error in PianoCoat's chapter, I'm like, "whoa, that's rare." I edit for as long as I see mistakes, and for as long as I wanted to check for mistakes. I used to be more prudent with this, especially with my first fic, but recently, I don't have much time anymore, and you know, that's fine. I run it through Grammarly-sensei and even after then, I'd still catch some errors. Fresh eyes? Don't know her. Maybe give it five to ten years, then I'd truly have fresh eyes. Not the day after. Fresh eyes I tell you, isn't necessarily a good thing. Your past self's treasure could turn into your future self's cringe. My verdict: I edit and revise, but I'm not the best person for it.

4. Share your favorite detail. > 🤔... This took long for me to think about to be honest. I think I've already told everyone in the SasuHina Month discord about things I liked that I felt those are old things that aren't necessarily very true for current me anymore. I'm thinking maybe something from my most recent works. Is 2022 recent? Doesn't matter, let me tell you about it, 'cause I haven't told this to someone yet. I liked how my story for SH Month 2022 Day 3: Dépaysement took everyone on a journey where they didn't know how it would turn out. That's my favorite part about it. People knew it was a SasuHina story, but they weren’t able to predict the ending because the experience of the journey had immersed them. Also, I liked that Hinata had a hard time with the goats. That part was semi-autobiographical🤣

Thanks for checking out my stuff😽💞🙌 If you haven't yet and are interested, here are links for you:

AO3 https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daifuku_Mochiin/works

FFnet https://www.fanfiction.net/u/9526245/Daifuku-Mochiin

[route-to-eutopia-if]

Hello, folks!

Just a quick update, I feel sorry for not being as active as I’d like. For the past week I have been focusing on the demo (and ofc, life.) everything is in a fast pace now that we’re near the end of the year.

I noticed we have passed another repdigit followers quite some time now and I will release Sandal’s dossier soon. I will be taking time organize this blog (and edit/delete few asks as some of em revealed too much future contents to my liking hahaha)

Demo is roughly around 50k as of now (and damn, I might need to cut some of it.) it contains intro and chapter 1 of the story. Including two intimate scenes and two big emotional scenes that I’m really, really, REALLY nervous to have them published. Expressing about emotions, especially in word form, has never been my thing and might be the reason why I started writing this story in the first place. I want to take time and sort out some important things before I release it, so it will take a more longer period to polish/review/rewrite than I first estimated.

Have a great weekend yall! Until we meet again. (hopefully with the demo drop next time)

[queenofbaws]

For the behind-the-scenes fic asks, could I get 12, 24, and 25 for The Almosts pretty please? I'm so insanely curious

heheheh aw man, any chance i get to rant and rave about t(a), you KNOW i'm gonna take it!! ;)c

12. Was there a scene you wished you could have included? Why didn't it fit in?

mmmmmmmmm this one's tricky. i wouldn't say there were any scenes that i wished hadn't ended up on the cutting room floor in the end (as the wordcount will attest, pffffft), but there are definitely some that i had sort of imagined going differently when first planning/setting about writing, and that ended up significantly different when all was said and done.

the two that come most readily to mind are: (1) the whole reason i had sam's dad scott be an er nurse was because i fully intended on him being the one letting her know about josh's hospitalization, and then there being a very, very awkward confrontation with chris about it later; and (2) the fight in ch17 was actually going to be, uhhhhhh worse, hahahaha. in the end, i decided i wasn't really feeling the direction of those decisions, and so ended up changing them. i for sure wouldn't say i regret that, though, or that i wish i'd stuck with my original plan, but i do think they could've changed the overall vibe of the story significantly.

EDIT: I AM A FOOL! THERE WAS A SCENE I WISH I COULD'VE INCLUDED, AND THAT WAS SAM AND ASHLEY GOING FULL PARENT TRAP ON THEIR PARENTS TO GET THEM TO DATE SDKLFJLKSJDFKLJSDF hahahaha, not exactly an important part of the story, nor a necessary one, but........i had plans for scott giddings and jamie brown, oh yes i did. oh yes i did. hehe.

24. Did you write every scene in order? What was the first scene you wrote, and what was the last?

god no, oh jesus, oh no. nonononono. i am like, pathologically incapable of writing things in order. i WISH i had that sort of discipline, my gosh. hilariously, the first scene i wrote was...well, okay, yeah, the first scene of the fic!!! hannah and sam having a little chat before The Big Party, but after that, all bets were off, babyyyyyyyyy. i jumped around.....everywhere, and the one thing i remember most about writing t(a) is that i was, at ALL times, actively working on 3 chapters. nightmarish. don't recommend it. absolutely the only way i found i could get my brain to work XD the last scene i wrote.....man, was josh and hill in that last session. everything after that had already been written, it was all set in stone, but that last session, man...that one took me.......a long time to write, hahaha.

25. Is there anything you would change now about this fic? Why or why not?

so, here's the thing. i feel like it's really easy to look back on an artistic endeavor and pick out all the stuff you don't dig about the final result. i have, in all honesty, not gone back and FULLY reread t(a) start-to-finish since finishing it BECAUSE of that. i am positive that if i really sat down and looked at it with a magnifying glass, yeah, there are some things i'd change - pieces i'd get rid of, segments i'd rework, commas i would delete by the dozens.................

but at the end of the day, t(a) is, was, and always will be my baby, something that not only served as my first step into the ud fandom, but something that introduced me to so many AMAZING people - writers and artists and readers and editors and gifmakers and not-so-silent lurkers all - and so looking at it and thinking about the things i'd change doesn't really occur to me. it is what it is, and i'm very happy to leave it as is :) <3

that being said, i would've loved to format some of the...stuff in the ending where they (starve) in a more house of leaves sort of way, but ao3 proved pretty tricky for that, alas!

behind-the-scenes fic asks!

[angst-in-space]

october '24 writing progress

words written: 11.5k

most words written in a day: 1,781

least words written in a day: 0

yearly total: 126.2k

projects worked on:

ya sci-fi book edits

planning adult sci-fi book

bsd regency au

sylvix week fic

published spy x vacation piece

planning alnst fics

works published in september:

mama bear (spy x family / gen)

october goals:

do some more edits on ya sci-fi book and send to friends!!

finish planning + draft most of sylvix week fic

finish ch 1 of bsd regency fic

post ch 4 of renga practice kissing fic (maybe chapter 5 too if i have time?)

work on other fic if i have time

november:

HAVE FUN IN JAPAN 🇯🇵

more ya sci-fi book edits, maybe send out to friends

finish draft of sylvix week fic

work on / plan other fics if i have time (i probably won't)

notes:

october was a bit all over the place for me. i was traveling for the first week-ish of the month and then the rest of the month... well, didn't get a lot done but that's partly because I'M GOING TO JAPAN IN THREE DAYS (!!!) so the last few weeks have been a lot of planning/preparing etc. plus stressed about...other things going on in the world, so i just did not have as much mental energy. but oh well that's ok!

i still did a bit more editing of my ya sci-fi book, mostly on One Chapter that has been a pain in my ass. but i think i am almost done with it now and hope to send it out to critique partners soon. i'm hoping i can also do a bit more general editing and be able to send the whole book out to some friends/fam to read for fun (maybe by end of the year at least)... feel like i need a positivity pass very badly lol.

also did a bit of planning on an adult sci-fi book idea i've been thinking about for like... a year-ish now. still am trying to figure out a lot of plot details, but i did at least sorta figure out the ending i think!

i got a fair amount of my sylvix week fic done (i think about 2.5k so far) but uhh not as much as i hoped. i'm nervous about getting it done on time bc i haven't even finished the first chapter (out of a planned 4 chapters) annddd i am gonna be in japan for half the month and have accepted i will not have time to write lol. plus there is thanksgiving and everything after that... 😅 but i will try my best o7

oh yeah i also fell very far down the alien stage rabbit hole (i sure do love that.. angst in space....hahaha) so that has basically consumed my entire brain for the past week. literally like a day after i finished watching all of it / consuming all the bonus content i started planning two fics immediately, one of which i've written like 3k words of notes for so errmmm. i'm not sure when i'll actually have time to write those, maybe if i can actually finish writing a thing or two by the end of the year lmao.

soooo yeah that's what was up with me this past month! november i'm just going to focus primarily on enjoying my trip, but i hope to get a bit done here and there too. happy november and manifesting that this month treats us all well 💖

[jennamoran]

Nobilis 4 Status

At the Shore - not in yet, but probably mostly the same

rule zero: identified

Intro Chapter #1: some text exists

Interlude 1: written, needs tweaks towards the end

Example of Play 1: currently blank

Intro Chapter #2 (concepts, if a separate chapter): some yellow highlighter and wiggly bits, but done enough that I’m leaving the rest for when I can do a full-book or at least full-opening edit

Setting Chapter #1: solid, pending said edit

Setting Chapter #2: not started, except a bunch of finished text that I thought was going in #3 got dumped here during revision of same.

Setting Chapter #3 (Imperators): done-ish, pending #2 and #4

Setting Chapter #4 (Excrucians): some general text done, other general text floating around in yellow highlighter, one Excrucian type done, another mostly done.

^ (this is where I was today, in between being interrupted every bloody twenty minutes by my timing beep cube to tell me to do my PT.)

Setting Chapter #5: I am not clear if this will exist or not. Not started, anyway, in part because it is one of two different possible things, and I think they may overlap with #2 and #6 respectively.

Setting Chapter #6 (Orders, res, etc): basically done, I had some notes while working on other stuff so I’ll have to look at those.

Example of Play 2: currently blank

The Essence of Nobilis: finished, but possibly dated? Possibly not, I think the most recent rules draft was done before it was.

The Creation of a Campaign: currently blank

Campaign Suggestions: currently blank

Rules Chapter #1-9: done, though slowly accumulating little notes to self and such (e.g., two more magics, currently just blank headings, have appeared in the mortal magics section since I did that bit) as I work on other things.

Interlude: Mystic Links: needs a tonal pass, possibly a couple similar interludes 

Rules Chapter #10-11: done, same as #1-9. Some notes at the end that I need to deal with.

Rules Chapter #12: a decision yet to be made, a bunch of highlighter but mostly just things I need to doublecheck when all is complete

Rules Chapter #13-15: done

Example of Play 3-4: I probably already decided where they go and just missed them while zooming through.

Flowers Design: floating around in the uncertain “possibly will do”

3e-like Lifepath: same

Seven Flowers: someone reminded me of this story that was almost the intro fiction for Nob2 and maybe it will go somewhere, dunno.

Timeline Appendix, Other Appendices: ???

rule one: not yet defined

Index: hahaha

Art: I have a few pieces but mostly this will either wait until I finish layout and then figure out how I’m going to fund it.

Layout: no

It’s currently around 350k words but there’s also a bunch of Nob2 and Nob3 stuff on Excrucians and setting just kind of floating around as placeholder stuff until I overwrite it---not even usable stuff, it’s just there because it’s easier to have it in the same file until it isn’t. I’m guessing it’ll hit 350-370k at the end, after deleting that but also writing the stuff noted above. Glitch was 300k+ words, so if I work closely with layout tweaking sentences until I find versions that work that also save lines that’s ~500 pages; if I don’t, ~650?

[martsonmars]

Hello friends! First SSS of the year for me. Also an early post because I want to write after sleeping and maybe some validation early in the day will help 💖 I have six snippets from six WIPs to share (only the fifth one written today, which makes me sad because I really wanted to share new new words, but it's okay) and I want to talk about them, so I'm throwing everything under the cut with the tags.

You can vote for the WIP you'd like me to continue the most (except Like We Had A Clue, because I know people are waiting for an update and it would skew the vote hahaha). Pick one of the other 5! Though as always I'll follow inspiration and not what the people want.

Love you all <3 hope you're taking care of yourself in these trying times.

1. First EGF WIP. I have many ideas for EGF, but considering a) possible writer's blocks, b) exams, c) other non EGF related WIPs, I honestly don't know how much I'll manage to write. This one is the most “urgent” one because it's a collab with @aroace-genderfluid-sheep and he's already done so many cool things for it and I'm so excited!!! The snippet I'm sharing is all I've written for this fic. Oh well!

“You could've at least sent us to Dante's inferno. That would've been intellectually stimulating.”

“This place is plenty stimulating.”

Of course it is. It's a fucking sex dungeon.

2. Second EGF WIP. I shared something from this already. There's hope I'll finish this one because it's short, but knowing myself I can't make promises hahaha.

“I’m sorry,” they say. Their voice is deep and smooth, like I imagine a cello would sound if it could talk. “I don’t think I can have dinner with you tonight.”

I can’t hide how much it stings. Of course my monster under the bed would come out just to reject me.

3. Like We Had A Clue. Chapter 5 is outlined in detail but I'm still struggling so much with it. Have some sentences I might have shared already in the past because I wrote them months ago!

“Are you trying to trap me, Snow? Keep me here to make food for you forever?”

“What if I am?”

I raise an eyebrow. His hand is still on my arm. He lets it fall.

4. WIP I shared from a couple of weeks ago. I want to have fun with this so I'm not forcing myself to write it, but I also really want to finish it. It's a struggle, always 🤣

(There's nothing innocent about four thousand words of Fangvald having a pity wank after Cherry spat on his face and demanded to know the true motives behind his betrayal.)

But it's fanfiction. Exploring fictional worlds and fictional characters and fictional relationships.

It would say nothing about me if he hadn't also linked two of my longest 4am rants about loneliness and deserving love.

5. Mystery WIP. I started plotting it yesterday and I've already lost steam. We'll see if it ever gets written.

25/12, 11:27AM

basiltea: Of course I'll help you.

basiltea: You can't be trusted to handle this alone and make it work.

Excalisbury: I LOVE YOU

basiltea: I'm just saving you from yourself.

6. Picture book story! The issue with this one is that I have to rewrite it completely. I have @johnwgrey's super useful notes, but I hate rewriting and editing with a burning passion, and this story needs so much work it hurts. But I'll do it!

Of course Snow had no reason to trust him. The fact that Baz had decided he’d never even try to hurt him again couldn’t erase five years of antagonism. Especially because Snow didn’t know about his change of heart. (It would’ve been ridiculous. Hey, Snow, I decided I don’t hate you anymore. Quite the opposite, instead. Can I kiss you?)

That was a lot. I feel like Simon and Baz are possessing me because I want to write SO MUCH, I literally can feel the words pushing to get out, but the second I open a doc it all fades out. Ugh. Hopefully I'll be more motivated in the morning.

So many no pressure tags for you lovelies:

@wellbelesbian @urban-sith @tea-brigade @sillyunicorn @mostlymaudlin @facewithoutheart @palimpsessed @otherpeoplesheartachept-2 @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @forabeatofadrum @fatalfangirl @prettylightsbigcity @whatevertheweather @jbrrring @confused-bi-queer @moodandmist @bookish-bogwitch @letraspal @dragoneggos @captain-aralias @takitalks @excalisbury (stealing your @ for Simon's Discord username hahaha) @otherworldsivelivedin @cutestkilla @ileadacharmedlife @gekkoinapeartree @bazzybelle @basiltonbutliketheherb @messofthejess @ivelovedhimthroughworse @nightimedreamersworld @artsyunderstudy @foolofabookwyrm-activated @ionlydrinkhotwater @yellobb @orange-peony @ic3-que3n @whogaveyoupermission @katmiscellanious @yeonjunenby @erzbethluna @larkral @chen-chen-chen-again-chen @shrekgogurt @raenestee @onepintobean @stitchyqueer @hushed-chorus

[vermillioncrown]

just read ch. 7 of tpac! the whole time i was like "timmy, no." and then i was like "korvin no!" i mean, looking from the outside, stalker tim drake would definitely freak out korvin, but reading the chapter in tim's pov, it makes him sound so reasonable. and i could say the same thing about korvin when i read his pov in ch. 6 and how there's a reasonable thought process there. im not blaming korvin, but looks like he just escalated the situation, and im worried what tim and korvin end up doing.

love the moment tim concluded that korvin must be his replacement, and he seemed to have just went "ok. alright. makes sense. i'll be professional." it's genuine, but it also sounds like he's compartmentalizing there for a bit.

also, for the rest of the chapter, i was just going, "oh my god, just talk. someone tell stuff to someone! maybe, idk, ask?" while also cackling. the tendency of not telling people who care about you about stuff you probably should is very much a bat thing, i'll say.

gotta say tho, if i only had this chapter on tim's pov to base on, it wouldve looked to me that korvin fits in perfectly with the bats' in terms of a lack of communication skills. or is this just a mind game he's instigating? the usual paranoia? what was going on his head when he went for the flight reaction at the sight of tim as robin? and then pulling that usb stunt.

like. what kinda vibes has korvin been getting from tim for him to get to this point?

i shall answer morning (?) you and then later you (second ask)

=

yep thank u for seeing that if you take each pov as is, both tim and korvin may be squirrely in different ways but they both come from a rational starting point (which is what makes their particular type irrationality a slippery slope and super fun to write)

(and something to be mindful of irl, i'm def prone to anxious spirals but have the energy of a dried-out slug so i just ride the spiral to the end until it's so irrational that i go "lol okay there's a higher chance of a meteor striking my apartment dead on, calm down bitch" to myself. korvin has a lot of energy)

and tim wrt potentially being replaced "i guess so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ hahaha" he is definitely compartmentalizing and rationalizing

(i don't want to get into uwu tim sadboi territory bc i feel that's a slippery slope to take, but bro's not okay. it takes a type of childhood, parenting, and enabling to make tim drake.

but i hope readers can catch hints of that in his pov)

no one's fucking talking lmao who does that??? (real adults with emotional and social competency)

(people who aren't terrified of being vulnerable 🙃)

but like, think about it. if you're constantly trained to have a secret identity and always around people that do the same...you get used to not talking. very bat, like you pointed out. + so much more going on; someone left a very insightful comment on the chapter that had me kicking my feet in the air 🥰🥰

and yes, the final bit you've pointed out--to tim, this is like standard fare bat mindgame shit. or what the fuck is going on with this kid??? who reacts like that, to that extreme???

this will resolve next chapter, so hang on until then 😏 please do continue to speculate because 1) it's fun and 2) i really don't write things by accident (my writing's already bloated--i do a lot of excising and editing to keep to the point)

rereading tpac ch. 7 with a clearer mind than i was in the morning earlier.

i gotta say, one of the best things i love about your writing the most is how wonderfully flawed you write the characters. tim drake is a character i adore and it's a compliment when i say i wanna punch him in the throat with the way you characterized him. it's so fascinating to see korvin from the direct pov of someone korvin doesn't know well yet, like with dick's pov and with barbara, back to how he was before they bonded, and especially with someone young like tim and also tim being tim.

which! ofc they would clash terribly for the first time! ofc tim "no sense of personal boundaries" drake would simply absolutely rub korvin "hates being perceived" kwan the wrong way in the most vehement way possible.

anyway, ya. tim deserves that a little bit in the end, and im excited to see where the tim-korvin dynamic is gonna go from here.

first off, i just wanna say i'm super flattered and appreciative of you (and other readers) actually giving this much attention to the fic. i joke it's not homework but like, you're having fun, i'm having fun, there's a bit of substance going on 🤭 a little puzzle, a little treat

and then another thank you 😭😭😭 because that's the goal with my characters. i want them to be believable and coherent in their own perspectives, which means traits and behaviors that are strengths can be recontextualized as flaws (and vice versa). not really into strict "this is always positive" "this is always negative".

(a big running theme in all my fics + something you can't avoid with SI fics is "a whole person is defined by both the internal and external". you have your core, but you must also be perceived)

i'll take the way you want to punch tim (lovingly) in the throat as a compliment! i want that! he deserves a bit of bullying! i just get sad when ppl get actually mad-mad at him because...bro's just trying his best but playing the wrong game with the wrong pieces lmao

his view of korvin also goes back to your previous asks about how'd they interact, and the answer is "depends on the context of how they meet and their relative social place to one another". tim's much older than korvin in whfagt and those are extenuating circumstances, so that's a very different interaction vs...this lol.

HAHA yes, you got it in one on how tim rubs korvin wrong. you'll get the other side next chapter.

(another theme with SIs is "get perceived, idiot", so korvin's getting dragged kicking and screaming into that. eventually. might take a whole sequel.)

you're excited to see, and i'm excited to show! in my other fics, the SI has the luxury of fucking off and stepping away from powder keg social interactions (kinda), but not korvin. so it's finally reasonable for me to write the most batshit (pun intended) insane character dynamics i can imagine

(if i wasn't so tied into my metacognition, there would have been plenty of places in my other fics i could have gone off the rails like readers wanted/expected. but that's not how i work.)