#time to regret everything tomorrow
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 10 months ago
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Lan Wangji Goes To Lotus Pier AU: Part 3: Enveloping Feelings.
(Part 1, Part 2, Part 4)
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#Yungmeng Jiang training arc AU#I wanted to try out a different paneling style for this one - sorry I'm a day late! (there will still be a post tomorrow to keep on track)#The original 3 panel comic idea was fine but the point of this new schedule was to take time to push myself a bit more.#I was taking a look back through some comic artists I felt inspired by#and I really loved how Lynda Barry fills her gutters with patterns and doodles!#Obviously I'm not going as absolutely wild with it as she does but it was a great exercise!#I truly think the gutters are the most important and most overlooked part of any comic. There's lots going on in that space.#It's the same with timeskips. The implied movement between moments that we don't see changes depending on how wide that gap is#You're here for the funny tags so here's some that ties this time talk together:#I think LWJ was thinking about that second note from day 2 but it took him 7 days of hazing to commit it to paper.#I think he sends it a day later and immediately regrets it. Chasing down the messenger and everything.#You know if something actually happened to his brother he would never ever forgive himself for putting the bad vibes out there.#Third time skip was the hardest because there was so many possible flavours of jokes here. Day 8/9 was a personal favourite.#day 14 was also funny (week by week). I think the debate on 'how long does lwj take to catch feelings' is more or less:#'how long does it take for him to arrive at a particular stage of grief and yearning (and awareness of it all)#This is a symphony. There is an act by act structure. Every day he is fighting to keep his old sensibilities. He is losing so badly.#(I'll be returning to the main comic soon but there is more of this AU to come!)
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iniziare · 1 month ago
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Tag drop: Aventurine.
#aventurine. [ mr. cavalier gambler: uptight. overcautious. inferiority complex. you've won so much but you're still so afraid of losing. ]#aventurine: ic. [ they see only the straight flush. they don't know the other hand below the table clutching your chips for dear life. ]#aventurine: inquiries. [ time to make a move my friend. say goodbye before you shuffle off. it's… best to die without regrets. ]#aventurine: countenance. [ now go. and pick the clothes that you like. then choose your desired identity and use them well. ]#aventurine: introspection. [ “sleep is the rehearsal of death”? why does life slumber? because we are not ready for the final rest. ]#aventurine: meta. [ the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason. but you've never gone in any other direction. ]#aventurine: little notes. [ you will keep winning; having never lost before. but why you? why... must it be you? ]#aventurine: wishes. [ even if the chance of winning is close to zero. well... you can't win if you don't play; right? ]#aventurine: etc. [ the chance… no matter how small: the potential is what you hang onto. that is what justifies the gamble. ]#aventurine: ipc. [ … i'll give you that and much more than that. the ipc will give you whatever you want. even what you don't want. ]#aventurine: trio. [ three cornerstones who for a measly penacony... offered their everything. you're more united than the family. ]#aventurine: astral express. [ friends: the game has commenced and you cannot choose to decline… nor do you have grounds to. ]#aventurine: fate. [ if the dice of fate are always weighted then that is our destiny. why then... do we struggle against it? ]#aventurine: past. [ our paths will cross again beneath kakava's shimmering auroras. farewell: kakavasha. ]#aventurine: luck. [ he's only drunk on the moment that makes his very life quiver. hell is only one decision away from heaven. ]#aventurine: topaz. [ i never expected the beautiful and kind-hearted director topaz to resort to distorting concepts like that. ]#aventurine: topaz. [ but since i survived i realized: wherever you go that's where i'll follow; nobody's promised tomorrow. ] immobiliter.#aventurine: jade. [ it's often used as a counterfeit for jade. but it looks like jade… can be substituted for aventurine too. ]#aventurine: veritas ratio. [ unfortunately for him; i make for a more competent conversationalist than the other dimwits around here. ]#aventurine: black swan. [ nothing remains hidden from you… does it? i will find my place in the web of your schemes; memokeeper. ]#aventurine: sunday. [ is this what the harmony represents? is it built upon constraint and coercion? ]#aventurine: acheron. [ only by casting aside reason does one truly gamble. “emanator” — I know you'll match my wager. ]#aventurine: v. youth. [ but the sun could not kill me and the quicksand sent me back to the embrace of the guild and the ipc. ]#aventurine: v. penacony. [ i seem that way because i am nervous. maybe you can help. what do you say; put our palms together a last time? ]#aventurine: v. future. [ the once falling die has at last landed on its earthly rest. quietly… peacefully: it at last landed. ]#tag drop#[ ... i wanted to add in a tag for robin. but i think that may have to come personalized. ]#[ /rubs hands together. lets see if any of these are broken. ]#aventurine: robin. [ so she sings; but does she dance? ] avaere.#[ okay i changed my mind-- there's a robin tag. ]
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talkorsomething · 5 months ago
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want to cut my hair again like you wouldn't believe. What are the possible consequences of going bald
#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ#actually i dont mean bald i just mean all one guard length#but hhhhh maybe i'm in an awkard stage maybe not i just CANNOT live like this#middle part is frustrating because it's not perfect in the way it sits side part is frustrating because i look like a girl#i feel like i could go all in with the 4 and then sorta texture a bit with the 2 guard HOWEVER having used the 4 previously. i know#how short that is. it might not look good so i worry#the bright side is it would grow out a bit by the time of the parade but augh i hate this#i'm currently a tightly wound ball of rage sorry. i didn't eat much of anything 2day#tried to call the hospital to get help with the letter/consulation thing preceding top surgery and they were NOT OPEN so idk if they will#be open tomorrow or not. the passage of time has gotten very vague all of a sudden#iiiiiii do not think i am doing well. lol. idk why though! god forbid any of it have a reason#i almost wish i'd relapse just so i could like. eat food again#idk i don't think it would solve it but i feel in my heart it might make things easier#buuuut because relapse is Bad For Me i guess i have to avoid it. well i want to anyways.#one bad day would not a reset make but my previous day happened this year already so...#i dunno it's been so long that i feel like it's not valid or whatever cause it was at an age where i can say it was a 'phase'#.............. i dunno what to do with that information. anyways.#i mean so what if i went all in on it again anyways? i kinda miss it lol. it's not like i could do any serious harm??#(potential infections aside.)#i just want to be creative and i CANT because my stupid brain will NOT think of anything#and the majority of what i have concretely written of this was written... get this .... right when i was trying to stay clean at first#correlation does not equal causation ........ sighs#i feel like i'm fighting a losing battle because i WANT IT to be that bad again#i've never really regretted it & it's never really been because of anything#i just started because i was curious about why someone would do that. that's all#i dont think i've EVER had any of the mental distress i see people in when theyre in these spaces#in one journal entry i made this big deal about wanting to kill myself but *i didn't want to*. i never did.#like sorry old me but it is REALLY hard to believe i've ever been depressed depressed#i just want things to be better and they never are :/ this should be everything i wanted and its just ... not#i'm not really sure how to ....... oh tag limit ok hold on
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theflyingfeeling · 1 year ago
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tomorrow-me's gonna hate tonight-me, part 3522
(an incoherent work-related rant in the tags, read if you will but it's boring lol)
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sunofmoon · 1 year ago
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reginrokkr · 11 months ago
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𝐂𝐗𝐕𝐋. Following with the post series of breaking down a bit every AQ in which Dain appears, here is the first part of AQ: We Will Be Reunited. Given its length and more density in what I find interesting to comment, I'll be splitting this in two or three posts.
✦ For all the centuries Dain has been thwarting the Abyss Order's plans, he claims that he has never seen an inverted Statue of the Seven holding Abyssal power in its hands before, although he did have his suspicions on the matter.
✧ ◜There are no coincidence in the world. Everything is the fruit of seeds planted long ago. [...] Time is just waiting for those seeds to sprout. [...] The connection between the Abyss Mages and the Ruin Guards is by no means incidental. Rather, they are both branches that have grown out and up from the same roots below.◞
I think that these quotes are the first time he ever teases his connection to Irminsul as a Bough Keeper. But putting this aside, and as I discussed briefly in the previous post about AQ: Dainsleif, this cements even further that it is possible to know if something is preordained through Irminsul and make educated guesses of what may happen in the future, just as Fontaine's prophecy was actually carved in Irminsul a very long time ago. This, alongside the established power that Irminsul may or may not provide of foreseeing events to happen in the future solidifies even more that Dain's appearances aren't coincidental either and are product of either estimations of his own or direct clues of a time and place where something will happen.
✦ ◜Khaenri'ah was a nation without a god— not because it had a god that died or abandoned them, but because it never had a god to begin with. It was a powerful nation built purely by humans, an unprecedented flourishing and glorious civilization— it was the pride of humankind. [...] 500 years ago, the gods descended upon the world and brought desolation to Khaenri'ah. The "pride of humankind" was uprooted and crushed, like a weed removed from the garden of the gods...◞
It's interesting to revisit this explanation about Khaenri'ah after a significant amount of time without doing so. Mainly because I have read in the past countless of times people saying that Dain is biased in regards of Khaenri'ah and, while he, himself, admits to have his own opinions and is not above falling into subjectivity, this description is strangely objective. As someone who advocates for everyone being masters of their own fate and praises the heights people and creatures alike can reach without the aid of the gods and in view of the way humans were treated and "babied", what those who built Khaenri'ah did was praiseworthy. So much that it attracted even the gods' attention to mimic some of the things they did for themselves (Guizhong is a clear example of this, and so is Ei who created Kabukimono and later Raiden Shogun via the Art of Khemia confirmed in one of Wanderer's stories as a point of interest for Dottore to replicate himself). There isn't any moment that alludes to him pitying the Abyss Order too as I've read in many instances people saying. Overall, he says two things here that are entirely accurate:
Khaenri'ah's magnificence could be considered the peak of humankind for doing it themselves without gods and the gods destroyed the nation.
✧ ◜After the destruction of Khaenri'ah, these masterless "Field Tillers" went completely out of control. They wandered aimlessly over the centuries, gradually spreading to every corner of Teyvat. Perhaps resonating with the sorrow of other civilizations lost to time, they found their way to various ruins across the land, where they lie dormant.◞
It's interesting the thought that these automatons, as they began to be built with Abyssal energy as their sustenance, have some manner of sentience because of just that of echoes of the past that still surround these ancient civilizations. This wouldn't be far-fetched at all as Kazuha's quest shed light on the possibility that even a sword can gain some sentience and be possessed by the Abyssal darkness, but still have its own divided part untouched by its negativity.
◜Once you understand more, those details won't mean much. But no matter their past, all that remains of them now is the danger they pose... so destroy them all.◞
This quote here in conjunction with the moment of empathy Dain showed for these Ruin Guards is worth mentioning as well as it can be easily extrapolated to Abyss Order creatures (I'll touch more on this when I reach to AQ: Requiem of the Echoing Depths) and it feels like he had a hard time to come to terms with this, despite how much he can feel for the automatons and most likely Abyss Order creatures that were once humans, that he has to do what must be done nevertheless and that a tragic background doesn't erase the current situation of both automatons and Abyss Order members.
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flowers-of-io · 2 years ago
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“The suns’ positions change as we walk,” Praedyth notices while they are tearing their way through a grove of tangled shrubbery. Elsie’s sword hisses with every strike, leaving a trail of branches and charred vines in its wake. “It’s like we’re physically moving through the day.”
The sky above them is azure-pink now, bright with aurora. Streaks of orange haze span across it in irregular patterns, seeming almost separate to the suns’ placement or the physics of how their rays should disperse. The result comes off as something like a conceptual approximation of daybreak, rather than a quirky but nonetheless naturally occurring phenomenon.
Chapter nine: Northwards
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pinkseas · 2 years ago
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things i am missing for a 90/90 full blizzard strayer triple crowned ayaka with 90/90 mistsplitter reforged:
14 bloodjade branches
3 golden branches of distant sea
69 philosophies of elegance
ayaka
the mistsplitter reforged
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army-of-bee-assassins · 2 years ago
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while i have known for a while that this new job in the clinic would almost certainly take up time on my (up until now) free wednesdays, yesterday when they told me they still weren't sure when i'd be starting i thought that meant that i would probably still have tomorrow off. today was already stressful bc of an exam tonight and then i got an email right before seeing a client that they want me to start at 10am tomorrow (and work 8-5 weds going forward after) and i just. i hate change lol. i knew this was coming but not this soon and today when i was already stressed about other stuff... i'm just not having a great time rn
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sickxsickxsick · 1 month ago
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auuuugh
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fedoranon · 2 months ago
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$80 is a lot of money....
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exopelagic · 2 months ago
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why do applications feel like your soul is being lightly roasted at 180C
#I’m applying for. a thing that is very much a once in a lifetime opportunity. and I don’t know if I want to do it.#like I cannot overstate how huge this could actually be#the problem is I don’t know if I actually wanna do it. and I can’t tell if that’s for good or bad reasons#the worst part is I actually have a decent shot. it’s far from certain this is gonna be competitive as hell but I can Do This. theoretically#and on top of that my current boss and HIS boss have connections there that they said they would talk to. I didn’t ask. and I feel like I’m#gonna wither away into a tiny little ball and float off#i know that almost everything is gotten by connections now and I’m only HERE on the fucking poor kids scholarship already that’s why I have#this internship in the first place but oh my god. oh my god.#it’s a three year long thing. that’s so much time. and it’s so much work. it’s work I can do in theory and they’d help me but#god I don’t know how to feel abt this#it’s also a field which I’m definitely interested in but in a way where I’m not sure if I’m That interested yknow. but I think I also am?#I’m terrified that I won’t like it and I realise I don’t want it but get offered it and cannot turn it down bc of how big it is#genuinely the worst part of this is I have a shot. my boss’ boss recommended it to me and she’s fucking insane#I have the draft ideas for what I think is a decent application I just gotta write it but again. it feels like I’m dying.#but I gotta do it by Thursday and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#I’m terrified and I think it’s also something I can’t not put an application in for or I’ll regret it. so I’m going to do it scared.#I’m going to do it sososososo scared. like. literally had to stave off a panic attack at work after talking to my boss abt it today.#I haven’t had one of those in a while#if any of you are reading this and have the space to talk abt this rn pls text me i know I’m allowed but I didn’t wanna bug anyone rn#okay. it’s 10:30. I think I can let myself do this tomorrow. and I’m working from home so I will do it on the clock <3#for now I’m allowing myself to think abt dnd.#luke.txt
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orcelito · 4 months ago
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There's also the impulse to be like "women ain't shit" but that's a lie I love our women. Not women as a whole's fault that one of them turned out a selfish bastard of a coward.
I just need to find a woman who doesn't treat me like That. Get me a good butch. I need me a good butch.
#speculation nation#id love a good butch who can pick me up and help move my furniture#and who is so sweet and treats me like im someone valuable (& not immediately replaceable ...)#the bar is actually so low. god why do i keep ending up dating assholes?#ex before this ex wasnt an asshole. i was the asshole in that situation.#but that's where the whole. wanting to find someone right for me comes in.#god 'ex' really is such a vague term for me. i got bad ex goth ex uhh other good ex but still sucked#nothingburger exes 1 2 3 4#and the gay awakening ex who i really shouldve given more attention to but unfortunately i was a stupid 16 year old#and broke up with her for my bad ex. alas.#and then theres milquetoast ex and uhmmm. well i actually dont know what im going to label my most recent one.#i dont think it's fully sunk in yet what happened. bc it really was so sudden.#i last saw her on thursday and everything was normal and nice. just like pretty much the whole of the 6 months with her.#and then she started hanging out with the coworker i guess. and the rest is history.#i think she lied about being busy spending time with friends to excuse why she was so distracted on the weekend.#she was probably busy spending time with that girl. who she apparently feels like shes suffocating if shes not in the same room as her#it does suck in a lot of ways. but also with her friends. i was trying rly hard to spend time with them and be liked by them.#one of them's moving into my building this next year. across from my unit. so i wonder how thats gonna go.#my ex mentioned how she'd be spending twice as much time here then just last saturday.#and now. well. like fuck she's coming in here anymore. but i wonder if i'll see her going to visit her friend.#id been kind of excited for it. looking forward to spending time with a neighbor too. but probably not anymore.#i do wonder what her friends will think. i hope she tells them the truth and they chew her out for being such an asshole.#literally breaking up with me over text. who fucking does that??? she didnt have the guts to hear me cry???#i'll make sure she sees the full force of my displeasure when she drops my gifts off tomorrow.#she used to like how rough around the edges i am. well she's gonna see just how rough around the edges i Really am.#i kind of. dont really want to see her. but i also do. i want her to look me in the face and talk to me#to see who it is she's dropping. to see how it has affected me. even if she didnt see my heartbreak as it happened.#i laid into her Hard so she knew just how badly she hurt me. so that she would feel even a fraction of my hurt.#so she would feel Guilty. she apologized over and over. said she knew she'd regret it. but she just Had to do it.#'this will be my life's regret' then why'd you do it? fucking impulsive dumbass. what bullshit.
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flight-freedom · 5 months ago
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Wanting to be in a relationship but not being able to bring yourself to hurdle all the reasons your brain tells you not to be in one is weird.
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my-soft-sunshine · 7 months ago
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radio-4-is-static · 8 months ago
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なみしぐさ / Gesture of the Waves | Yojiro Noda
「絶対」なんて 簡単に口にしてはいけないことを 知ってはいるけど 君以外の誰に使えというの? 「絶対」の意味を い��か君に聞かれたとしたら 迷わずに言うよ ここにあるこの気持ちのことだと 次はどんな二人で生まれよう 恋人なのか、はたまた 無二の友か 君とならば どんな二人も 生きてみたい 抱きしめてみたい
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Don’t use ‘never’ or ‘forever’ so casually, as nothing truly is Yet, with whom else but you do I find myself in certainty? If one day, you ask me, ‘What is for sure?’ Straightaway, I’d say it’s this feeling that’s here now What would we be in our next lives? Would we be lovers or friends for life? With you, either would do I want to live as two, I will embrace
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