#time to put it away again

[doctor-badadvice]

You know, I often make fun of Bishop, as one does. I call him a man of strong fashion opinions, a nerd and a wretched little gremlin. It’s all part of the process and it’s necessary when you end up liking an idiot of his caliber.

I’ve talked about his personality before. Yes, it’s very black and white (and red) under many aspects. I made a whole post about how that affects his outfits throughout the show.

Though when it comes to relationships, it isn't all so straightforward. Bishop has obviously invested all his charisma points in intimidation. This definitely helps him work as a villain, but his short temper and ingrained need to feel in control of the situation often get in the way of his objective.

Having to deal with people isn’t easy for him. Almost impossible, even. He can spit some raw lines but it also took some real effort to stop himself from strangling the president, which may not be the best course of action, you know?

The only situations in which we see him succeed to some extent are whatever concerns his organization since there is standardization. Times change and so do people. Keeping up with new costumes over the decades is time consuming but military practices? Those rarely change.

Bishop is obviously a good leader. His men execute his orders without questioning and with the highest professionalism, despite the occasional threat of being subjected to unspeakable experiments in case of failure. He also historically enjoyed the respect of at least one president, where again he just has to act like a good agent to get what he wants. Yes, the fake invasion counts in this regard since it proved to the president just what a good investment EPF was.

He even keeps Baxter in line for the most part since they have a very clear deal they both surprisingly stick to (though Baxter has a major hand in this since he knows what’s the amount of snark he can afford on the workplace).

Anything else is a disaster. Romance would be a tragedy from the very first moment. Friendship? We know how that went. Becoming a good person?

Yes, about that.

Bishop’s presidential outfit is extremely accurate. He’s not the man he once was. He has changed his methods and he sees aliens as people he can negotiate with and manipulate when fit. His work has fundamentally changed, as in he at least tries to create something which not only Earth will benefit from.

But he also has a whole room dedicated to spying on everyone through satellites and he personally leads the rescue mission at the Moonbase. The agent never really left, he just comes out whenever Earth is directly threatened.

Do I think that Bishop is still evil in FF then? Not quite.

Having done my fair share of writing for this nerd, I'd say it's somewhere in the middle. Specifically it's a mix of an opportunistic person seeing the chance for a different approach and most importantly, accepting that's actually possible, and a character who was born in part as a critique to real life events that were happening at the time of the show.

At the time of FF, the bigger picture kind of guy has started down a path of good but he still only relatively cares about other people. The public is obviously up there on the list since he has a public image to curate now. Aliens are more or less people. Turtles and random rich teenagers can pick fights with evil (very stupid) shapeshifting aliens if they can make themselves useful. Baxter deserves a second chance despite the little dissection prank he tried to pull.

Still, I can't say it's all Bishop's fault because when you think about it, his two most formative life experiences were both very traumatic events. The alien abducting him right after he got wounded on the battlefield set him off on a path of paranoia and blind revenge. The lab experiment that almost killed both him and Baxter and a symbolic act of kindness diverted him on a more open-minded path, even if the paranoia is still very much there.

Add that Bishop spent like 65% of his life under the military and it's no wonder even when he's genuinely making an effort, he still comes off as manipulative.

Head of State specifically deserves a whole analysis of its own that I might just do at some point because it's a fun episode. But in brief, I think Bishop, in his heavily skewed perception, genuinely considers Baxter as an old friend. He feels remorse for leaving him to die and he actually wants to make up for it.

But again, agent and president are still the same person, even if they may be one clone away from each other. Bishop both resents Baxter for chasing him and the dissection thing (you bet that brought a lot of trauma back. I wouldn't be surprised if people were left wondering what could have possibly prompted the president to take a short period of rest for the first time since ever), and cherishes that the scientist is still alive.

He's just not the best at showing it. But what can you do. Even the most peaceful person will be a bit messed up after living for so long. Bishop has been through really traumatic stuff and definitely wasn't encouraged to be anything but an efficient sadistic bastard for a good while. Even when relearning how to behave around people, he couldn't exactly explain what he has been through so at best, Bishop had to sit on his own and design new procedures like “smile, bring a gift, write a nice speech about friendship and respect”, or “introduce a problem and make it so the one in front of you will suggest the solution you want while thinking they came up with it to ensure they will care”. Or even, “traumatized people need reassurance and physical comfort. I guess I'll have to pet the talking brain and offer him a job”.

If anything, 2105 might be a bit too early. Bishop is still consolidating the PGA, there's no way to get him to work on himself some more.

Perhaps, in a better timeline, FF would have received a second season with a real seasonal arc all about redemption. There's a certain other set of clones who could have benefited from it as well.

[bigfatbreak]

Birds of a Feather previous / next

[reveluvjay]

Me making sure my sweetie pie Arthur has a bath because he deserves it 💕🎀🌸

Arthur: This is the cleanest some parts of me been in weeks! 🤠

Me:

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

oh hey! i was reading a fic the other day where Wangji was once misspelled as Wangu. which leads me to: MDZS Pingu-style??? noot noot!

Do you think love can bloom on the sea ice?

[kaeyachi]

Kaeya, despite being a sickly and gentle child, was his own kind of nightmare for Crepus and the other Dawn Winery staff.

See, Diluc is prone to mischief and chaos, dragging along his younger brother and a couple of other children into his plots and messes.

But Kaeya? Kaeya is the type to end up in the most random, and I do mean most random, of places. He would vanish for several hours, only to be found in an unexpected location such as, oh let's say that one time, he was found eating fruit with some friendly hilichurls...IN LIYUE.

He was such a curious soul that would easily get distracted by the wonders of Teyvat, but since he is so silent in both words and movements, whoever is watching over him would lose sight of him just as quickly.

He has caused several search parties in his youth, only for people to find out he was following a seelie to a treasure chest or napping with a young wolf cub in Wolvendom.

Crepus swears that Kaeya and Diluc are competing on who can give him gray hairs the fastest (so far, Diluc is winning, but Kaeya sure is catching up with every scream of panic from a designated babysitter and Diluc)

[owlheartt]

Something I really like about timebomb is that Ekko actually knows what he's getting into.

I'm not really seeing it get talked about but in season 1 they mention that Ekko and the firelights help people addicted to shimmer get off it and lead more fulfilling lives within the community. I should probably rewatch the scene for the exact wording (might be misremembering tbh) but that comment implies A LOT.

First: Ekko's mission is helping people where he can, he would probably try and help Jinx even if he wasn't in love with her

Second: He has experience dealing with severe mental illness as that often goes hand in hand with drug abuse, namely depression/suicidal ideation like what Jinx was exhibiting

Third: He's probably mapped out best course of action FOR dealing with this and has already figured out his own limits/boundaries. Meaning he knew what he was getting into trying to talk Jinx out of suicide, and was thus more equipped to deal with the aftermath

Fourth: He's probably helped ex members of Silco's gang. The firelights seem to have a theme of healing and repairing and recovering, so they've probably also learned to forgive. If they're mission is to rebuild the lanes into a safe space, they can't exclude people they don't like, they have to make room for them. I think they fought Silco out of necessity, and I doubt Jinx would be the first person they help who's killed one of them.

These all might be a bit of a stretch but I think it really fits. Beyond that, it shows that Ekko can ACTUALLY help Jinx. As much as unconditional love can do, Ekko has the tools for Jinx's recovery and a path ready for her. He also probably knows that her "healthy" will look different from AU Powder's "healthy." On top of that, I expect he knows how to respect her even in the middle of psychotic breaks and won't agitate her already frail mental state

[turbo-tsundere]

Content warning for gore, blood, burns & body horror.

A king with no crown and a holy fool.

(The element of venom/poison, stabbing/puncture wounds and destruction of a whole body is present in both of their deaths. Kokichi's pristine white clothes also end up being shoved down the toilet, and the poison made it difficult for him to breathe, so there's plausible callback to Miu also. Karma at its finest?)

If I could be the devil, you could be the sinner.

(Don't mind them, they're just spilling their guts)

(...)

(Concepts for scenes from a Gonta-centric survival horror game I'll never make. But it was fun to daydream about - maybe one day I'll finish other sketches and doodles relating to it into a more presentable state. The Cat Lady OST was playing on constant repeat while I drew this - Lily of the Valley, Don't Follow the Light, String, Plainwalker, Early Winter, Storytelling, Susan's Blue Sheep (alone again) - those in particular are now stuck in my brain when I look at those drawings, and what I imagine the "game's" mood to be like, at least the opening segment.)

(I felt both heartbroken and like a monster when drawing this one... But I wanted to draw something that doesn't conveniently erase nor tuck his mangled, swollen face away from view. Sure... in game it looks goofy. But I think mockingly disfiguring him was the point in all of this, too. And given the venom, the Schmidt pain index, how it rates some wasp species, the fact that those robot wasps could be packed with anything necessary really... it had to be awful. Really, every stage of Gonta's execution was excruciating and enough to kill a person on its own, but due to his strength he likely suffered through them all. I remember begging in my head he was at least spared the flame, that he was already gone by this point... But it's foolish to pretend it definitely was the case.)

I wanted to post something new, but I was either busy, ill, or focused on something else, so another sketchdump with oldies and wips it is. This time strictly 2020-21 stuff, drawn during the first few months after finishing the game; mostly to process the post-game/Ch4 sorrows. All very emotionally raw, very edgy stuff that I felt, to be honest, too shy to show before.

Like with any wip I posted before, I do hope to finish some of them properly one day, even though I don't know when. But that's fine, I've signed up for a very long ride with the bug man. Taking it easy is the priority.

Speaking of long-term projects, maybe there's no need to, but I do want to talk about my Gonta fancomic, so here goes.

It's a bit long, so I will continue under the cut.

(Some panel teasers first! ...Gonta sanity fine.)

I took a few months long break from personal drawings - an *actual* break, not just sitting in front of a screen, tired, stewing in guilt that I'm tired, and that I can't magically muscle through burnout, or headache, or exhaustion.

My brain was stuck in a loop of berating myself for underperforming, not doing well enough, for taking so long on "mere" 27 pages, when in the past I could finish a 90-page webcomic chapter much faster. I wouldn't let myself rest, because I didn't do enough; but I couldn't do enough, because I didn't allow myself to rest. And it's been going on for months and months.

What a stupid, unconstructive thing to do to myself. I was only spiralling down, intimidating and overwhelming myself with work on the one thing I specifically wanted to keep doing out of joy, not ambition and pedantism. So I decided to just say "fuck it" and stop for a while. Like, actually stop, do something else and try to feel unapologetic about it.

So I briefly took up sewing, a creative activity I had no personal stake in, and then I started PVP-ing in DS3 (sorry if I happened to kick your butt in there. Rest assured my butt gets kicked just as much), which did wonders, too, as non-artistic pastime.

And, in the end, it seems it worked.

I finally feel this internal drive to draw again. Sadly, I can't spend all of my free time on the doujin (I might need to open commissions soon), so my pacing will still be glacial... But there was an internal change from "I have to, I have to, I must..." back to "I want to". And this is all that matters.

Still, that makes me think... while technically I don't have deadlines, the comic has taken so much longer than I thought it would - and it will take a while still. Thus, I wonder if I shouldn't change my approach re publishing it.

The initial idea was to post it all at once when it's fully finished, but I debate releasing it one page at a time instead, while it's still work in progress.

Thing is, I don't think it would be good for overall pacing. I don't want to sacrifice it, plus I can't guarantee regular uploads, esp since I don't exactly work on the pages in chronological order (While the first page is done, it was drawn after I finished a few in the middle & at the end; and there are still a few important pages/panels in first half I'm a bit too afraid of touching just yet, wanting to do them justice. This is how I work in general, jumping around rather than sticking to overly strict linear order.)

The compromise would be to post like 3-5 pages per post, making it so each upload covers a specific scene, however, same issue arises - I can't promise regular uploads. In the end it feels like a half-measure. But maybe it's a good idea, despite that impression?

There's a secret option, too - if this takes absurdly long, my plan was to just post the storyboard, after replacing some panels/pages with already finished drawings. The thing is readable as is, and long finished on that front anyway. My personal deadline for that was "right before my current lease ends", but, well… I plan on extending it anyway, and again... it's just a back-up option for when everything else fails. In the end, I just want to finish the comic, and present it how it's meant to be presented, however long it will take.

All those things considered, I'll stick to the original plan for now... and then we shall see. I simply wanted to share where things stand currently, and where they might go.

And that's it! If you've read this far, thank you. See you in the undetermined future.

[casualavocados]

You've never done that when I got close to you before. Why? None of your business. Tell me, or you can't leave.

KISEKI: DEAR TO ME Ep. 10

[heybiji]

dandelion casually dropping traumatic information while insisting that instead of killing the problem wizard they simply burn his tongue

[sanjiafterhours]

Favourite pre-timeskip Sanji moments

These are a few of my favourite pre ts sanji moments

(1) Baratie arc when sanji served fresh food for don krieg despite everyone telling him that krieg was notorious for betraying people. Sanji still served the food because of his value of "feeding the hungry no matter what"

(2) Sweet sanji preparing bentos for Luffy vivi and a special drink for Vivi's duck karoo so they can go explore the little garden island. Also packing and tying the lunches for the kids (luffy and karoo) by himself

(3) water 7 Sanji following his principle of "never waste food" while fighting CP7's ramen guy wanze (who had a full ramen armour and sanji cut his armour up and served the ramens all in different plates around the kitchen)

(4) thriller bark Sanji holding an unconscious nami up so she won't get injured while he takes all the hits from Absalom He's not just a simp, he genuinely cares for nami

(5) water 7 Sanji smoking a cigarette while spying and finding out sensitive government information

(6) Post enies lobby filler sanji crying throwing up stressing over finding out the right spices of a fried rice. He is a true chef at heart and has so much love for his craft

(7) post skypiea filler G-8 arc sanji when someone says he is better than all of the navy chefs and sanji cutely offers to give his recipes to them. He is so cute kind and humble

(8) sabaody sanji kicking the Celestial dragon knowing what'll happen and not giving a fuck anyway

(9) skypiea sanji being all big smiles and happy while showing conis the bento he has arranged for her and telling them how arranging food is an art (look at the little winged angel he put there as a representation for conis who has wings)

(10) Sanji leaving a message for nami in water 7, even in the dire situation they were in (usopp left, robin was abducted, they were all accused of murder) sanji being his usual cute loser self

[courfee]

prompt #46 "Sirius is showing Regulus’ baby pictures to James and Reg is MORTIFIED" for the @marauderswithpalestineproject !! 🍉

thank you @kat-m-toast for the donation (and the prompt, which was just SO up my alley, i loved it) and also thanks to everyone else who donated and participted! 💕

and as a bonus a little closer look at those baby pictures :)

[transmascutena]

the poor little meow meow-ifictation of saionji in this fandom has got to stop i can't take it any more

[starry-bi-sky]

realizing i have. a lot of untapped trauma potential for clone^2 danny because i just Fully Processed Four Months Late the fact that his parents were capturing and torturing ghosts in the basement before he became Phantom. and the fact that he was on house rest for 2 weeks. during that time period. and he wasn't really leaving the house. he could hear their screaming through the floorboards

*points at clone danny* i can give you suuuuuuch a bad time babe ahaha. i've got two untouched years before you meet damian what fucks you up before then

[mega-banette]

Not at all going insane over how in ‘A Light or Something’ Swan sings “Then you’ll go” while Mercy sings “Then we’ll go”

And then in the finale when Mercy says “I need to be free” and Swan says “Stay with me” ???? The implications

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Having the Pool Dream again, handsome?

[kit-screams-into-the-future]

wanted to try my hand at a fake screenshot thing with a scene from one of the bttf fics of all time, Time Is a Flat Circle by @fourth-dimensional-thinker! i set in to draw only the "little canary" line but. as you can tell. my hand slipped and fell down a 6 story building

if you haven't read it already please check it out PLEASEEE it's very good. i read the whole thing in basically one sitting. the vibes are perfect for the spooky season too!

versions without the filter/subtitles under the cut: