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rjhpandapaws · 4 years

Text

A Cup of Something Better

Ch 10: Down to the Wire

This was it, the week that had been two years in the making, his last finals week as a gen ed student. Assuming he passed all his tests, he would be able to take the nurses exam the following Friday. If he passed that he be enrolled into the nursing program for the fall semester. Five tests over three days, not the worst test load that he'd dealt with. The fact that they were between five and eleven at night was a pain in the ass.

He'd asked for the week off from the cafe so he could have more time to study. Some of the time he spent studying was also spent at the cafe, he preferred the idle chatter over the silence of his apartment.

Connor was spending the morning at the cafe again, going over calculus today. He had an Iced Americano that was helping to keep him concentrated. He'd had a few late nights that he was beginning to feel the effects of. His first set of tests was tonight, calculus and art history. Tomorrow was biology and mythology. The day after being his sociology final. Hank thankfully didn't have a final for his class so Connor had a chance to recuperate before his nurses exam.

He finished the problem he was working on and sat back rubbing at his face to try and wake up more. He needed to focus. He took another drink of his coffee and looked around the cafe, it was almost empty. As one would expect at ten in the morning on a Monday. He finished his coffee and figured he could use the break to order another drink. Hopefully he'd be more awake afterward.

He headed for the counter and ordered his usual before heading back to the table. Refueled and somewhat ready to go again, he sat back down and got back to work.

Connor woke up sometime later to North knocking on the table. He looked up to find that it wasn’t North, but Hank, though the red haired she-devil was behind the counter laughing.

“So, uh, North asked me to bring you this.” Hank said after a moment, setting the bigger of the two cups on the table, “she also said that knocking on the table would wake you up.”

“Thanks.” Connor took the cup and yawned, “you can sit down if you want. I’m just studying.”

Hank chuckled as he took a seat, “planning on learning through osmosis? I was lead to believe you had to be awake in order to study properly.”

Connor rolled his eyes as he took a drink from what turned out to be a large cup filled with just espresso shots, “I’ll do whatever works at this point.” He covered a yawn and leaned forward, “how do you like having the week off? Getting any writing done?”

Hank laughed as Connor got back to work on his calculus, “I’ve gotten a couple of chapters into my manuscript and started a couple of short stories.”

Connor took another drink from his cup, “you’re planning to release another collection then?” He yawned, “how is Sumo doing?”

When Connor looked up Hank was looking at him with a concerned expression. HIs brow was furrowed and his sky blue eyes were clouded over with worry. Connor knew that he looked rough but he was pretty sure he wasn’t bad enough to warrant that level of concern.

“Sumo is doing fine.” Hank leaned forward and rested his forearms on the table, “can you answer something for me Connor?”

“Hmm?” Connor sat up from where he had been slouching into his textbook again, “what’s up?”

“How many days has it been since you’ve gotten a full night’s rest?” Hank watched as he took another drink of his ‘coffee’.

“Today is Monday so...” He counted back on his fingers, muttering the days of the week under his breath, “Saturday, I think. Why?”

Hank sighed, and the sound was pure disappointment, something that if it hadn’t been directed at Connor would have impressed him, “Since you’re the one of us going into nursing, I feel like I shouldn’t have to tell you what’s wrong with that Connor. Do me a favor and get some rest. You can’t keep going like this.”

“I sleep two hours before classes. I’ve increased my calorie intake and added more caffeine into the mix as well.” He stumbled over his words as he yawned again, “five hour energy and espresso have been life savers for me.”

“Connor.” Hank groaned, “I was in college too, so I can’t argue with you, but try and get at least get four hours today alright?” He put a hand up when Connor opened his mouth to argue, “I know your nurses exam is important to you Con, but what happens if you burn out before then? You’ll have to wait a whole semester to take it again.”

In theory Connor knew him to be correct, but he had so many tests and he wanted to make sure that he was ready, “I just don’t want to fail Hank, if I can’t pass these then I won’t even be taking the nurses exam.”

Connor could feel tears pooling behind his eyes from the lack of sleep as well as the stress. The nickname made Connor give a watery smile as he rubbed at his face trying to collect himself.

“Hey now, don’t cry.” Hank reached out and squeezed his wrist reassuringly, “I’ve gotten to see you at work Con, you’ve got these tests in the bag. Go home, get some rest.”

Connor let out a wet laugh and wiped his eyes with his free hand. After another reassuring squeeze Hank let go of his wrist and Connor began packing up his things and putting them back in his bag not quite managing to bite back another yawn. He was starting to think no amount of coffee was gonna help this. With everything packed he sat back and rubbed at his face again hoping to wake up a little more.

“Alright.” Connor said before he drank more of his coffee, “time to go home and nap I guess. Sorry you had to wake me.”

Hank chuckled, “Its no problem. Do you need a ride? The weather looks like its going to take a turn for the worse.”

Connor looked out the windows and despite it being early afternoon apparently, the sky was almost black and the wind was howling through the streets, “thanks, but I’ll just get a cab.”

Hank nodded and stood. They walked out together and parted ways at the parking lot with a wave. Connor hailed a cab and checked his phone which had been vibrating consistently since Hank had stood up. There were several new messages in the coffee shop group chat, probably because he had been crying.

The Coffee Crew:

Northern_Lights: Aww, you two are so cute together

Northern_Lights: Why are you crying?

Northern_Lights: Is it his fault? I’ll kick his ass if I have to

Northern_Lights: Holding hands?

Northern_Lights: You’re good then?

Northern_Lights: Connor?

RunawayArkait: North, everything is fine.

SimonSays: Are you sure? We saw you cry

RunawayArkait: I haven’t been sleeping and the stress from finals got to me

RunawayArkait: Hank kind of gave me a pep talk is all

SimonSays: Aww his name is Hank, that’s fitting

Northern_Lights: That had better been all. Or I will fight him.

RunawayArkait: It’s fine North. I’m gonna get some sleep then get to class

Northern_Lights: Sleep well

SimonSays: You got this!

Connor smiled at his phone as he paid and got out of the cab. He walked up to his apartment and set an alarm for a half hour before he needed to leave. He set his backpack by the door and went to change into pyjamas. Connor was still fighting off the embarrassment from having cried in front of Hank, if he needed to sleep anything off it was that. Hank probably found him to be weak and pathetic for having cried ever a few tests. Whatever chance, if he’d even had one, was gone.

He sighed and rubbed at his face again and climbed into bed, double checking that his alarm was on and also at full volume. He plugged his phone in and rolled over falling asleep almost instantly. When his alarm went off he hadn’t moved. The song blared to life yanking Connor violently back into consciousness. He groaned, sat up, and rubbed the sleep from his eyes He turned off the alarm and checked his phone. He had quite a few messages.

The Family Feud:

Sixty-Second-Set: You’ve got this Connor!

UnluckyNine: You’ll be a nurse in no time

RunawayArkait: Thank you

The Coffee Crew:

Northern_Lights: Good luck college boy!

SimonSays: Don’t worry alright? You’re a genius

What.Josh.Does: See you in calculus. Who ever scores the lowest buys drinks on Friday

RunawayArkait: Thanks guys. You’re on Josh.

Made-By_Markus messaged you!

Made-By_Markus: Good luck Connor!

RunawayArkait: Thank you Markus.

Connor dressed in his day clothes again and made a pot of coffee. Travel mug filled, he grabbed his bag and headed for the door. He pulled up his hood as he got to the parking lot since the storm picked up since his nap. He walked toward the road and caught a cab to head to the university. On the ride over he pulled out the notes he had taken for his calculus class and got in some last minute studying.

He arrived early and made his way to the Math and Science building. Josh was waiting at one of the hallway tables and waved Connor over. There were two paper Hand Brewed Hope cups on the table, when Connor took his seat Josh slid one over to him.

“Figured you could use the pick me up.” Connor took a drink of what turned out to be Chai Tea with cinnamon and nutmeg as Josh spoke, “I know finals week is rough on you.”

Connor gave a dry chuckle, “It’s just stressful, and even more than usual this time because of the nurses exam.” He sighed softly, “You had tow tests earlier today. How do you think you did?”

He was distracting himself, but thankfully Josh let him, “Good. I was more confident for my philosophy exam than I was for chemistry, but it is what it is. Once I finish this up I’ll get to move on to student teaching. Which I’m looking forward to.”

Connor smiled, Josh was excited to becoming a teacher. He was going to be missed at the cafe but he would have more fun as a teacher, “You’ll be great at it. Those kids are going to adore you.”

Josh beamed at him and Connor took another drink from his tea, “I’m gonna miss the cafe though.”

“We’re gonna miss you too.” Connor said kindly, “I’m sorry that I can’t join you guys this weekend but I’m going to be getting ready for my nurses exam.”

“It’s alright Connor. We know how much this means to you, so no one is holding it against you.” Josh responded with a gentle smile.

When it came time to, they grabbed their things and headed for class. Josh gave Connor’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze before he headed for his seat at the back of the class. Connor headed for his as well, letting out a shaky sigh. He had an ‘A’ in this class, he could handle one last test. Probably.

The two hour test block seemed to crawl by. He fell into routine, solving the problems as he went and then checking them over when he had finished. Then, just to be sure, he checked them again. With a half hour left in the test block he grabbed his things, turned in his completed exam, and made his way to building one to study for his art history final. Having found a bench to sit at and go over his notes, he sent a few messages.

The Family Feud:

RunawayArkait: Calculus is done, just Art History left

RunawayArkait: Just finished calculus

UnluckyNine: Good job! You’ve got this one in the bag too

Sixty-Second-Set: Look at you go!

SimonSays: Bet you nailed it

Northern_Lights: Nicely done, you beat Josh

RunawayArkait: Calculus is done

Made-By_Markus: Congratulations Connor!

Connor was smiling as he put his phone away as he put his phone away and began to study, wanting to be as prepared as possible for the final. He packed up when the door to the lecture hall opened. When the class had emptied he took his seat and got ready for his exam.

This two hour block went by a little. Though that was probably because he had the confidence of having finished one already. When he finished this one he could go home and sleep for a couple hours before he got back to studying. This final took him a little longer but he finished it with ten minutes to spare. If he napped in the cab he could spend even more time studying. He probably wouldn’t though, he hated sleeping in cars. He sent messages as he headed out.

The Family Feud:

RunawayArkait: Done for the night

UnluckyNine: Nice. Now you can get some rest

The Coffee Crew:

Sixty-Second-Set: You’ll be a nurse in no time

RunawayArkait: First day of finals is over

What.Josh.Does: Congrats! Meet me at building 27 and I’ll give you a ride home

SimonSays: Three more to go, you’ve got this

Northern_Lights: You’re doing great

@Made-By_Markus

RunawayArkait: Thanks. I’ll be there soon Josh

RunawayArkait: One night down, two to go

Made-By_Markus: Don’t forget to get some rest.

Tuesday morning found him back at the cafe, is biology textbook as well as the semester’s notes spread over the table. He’d been at this since about midnight; rotating between biology, mythology, sociology, and subjects that would be covered on the nurses exam. His travel mug still had some coffee in it so he hadn’t bought a drink yet and he also had a couple of five hour energy shots in his bag if needed them. He figured he would, because despite the extra sleep he had gotten yesterday, Connor could still feel exhaustion hanging off of him.

After a couple hours he switched from biology to mythology when his concentration started to wane. When that didn’t work he grabbed a five hour energy bottle and got in line to order. He tossed the bottle between his hands without looking at it, occasionally tossing it straight up only to catch it and start the cycle over again. He had put it back in his university sweatshirt pocket by the time it was his turn to order. He was ordering a drink that North had made up that wasn’t on the menu, so he said it out loud.

“I’ll take a large Due North, Simon.” Connor said around a yawn and Simon looked at him with concern.

“You do know that drink is basically just straight espresso with a couple pumps of chocolate syrup right?” Simon was typing the drink in anyway, “with how much coffee you drink in a day, I’m worried you might vibrate out of existence.”

“I’ll be fine Simon,” Connor said as he paid for his drink, “I just need a little extra help staying awake today is all.”

“If you’re sure Connor,” Simon said as he handed the cup off to Josh who looked at it with worry.

While he stood in the crowd to wait out his drink he got out his lucky quarter and began to toss it between his hands. He would stop and roll it over is knuckles, toss it straight up, catch it and then start over. On the third pass his drink was called, he pocketed the coin as he walked up to the counter. He thanked Josh and took his drink. When he got back to the table he took the lid off of the cup and added the energy shot, stirring it with the straw so it would mix in. He put the lid on and took a drink when he finished. If the sheer amount of caffeine didn’t keep him awake, the taste probably would.

Connor was surprised that he actually finished the monstrosity that North had created. He’d moved on from mythology to sociology, and despite all of the caffeine pumping through his body, he could still feel himself fading. He knew he couldn’t go up for another coffee so soon after pumping so much espresso into himself, Simon wouldn’t let him. So he would just have to tough it out. He leaned more into his notes, resting his arms on the table.

He woke up to talking, “North, why are you drawing on him?”

“Because, he fell asleep and he knows the rules.” Came North’s reply, and now that Connor was slightly more coherent, he could feel something moving against his face. He opened his eyes with a tired groan and whatever had been on his face was yanked away. North laughed, “Shit.”

“Morning Sunshine.” Hank said with an amused smile as Connor sat up, “how is your studying going? I can see you’re trying that learning by osmosis thing again.”

He gave Hank a tired smile as North laughed, “it seemed to work well enough yesterday.”

“Alright Point Dexter, go wash the dicks off your face. I’ll have another Due North for you when you get back out.” North said as she pulled Connor to his feet.

As Connor made his way to the bathroom to clean his face North retreated back behind the counter. He checked the mirror to find that, yes, North had actually drawn cartoon dicks of various sizes along the left side of his face and a detailed shooting star down the side of his neck, He wet a paper towel and started rubbing at his face, glad that they didn’t use permanent marker to write on the cups.

With all the marker washed off his face and neck Connor went back to the table to find Hank had settled in and gotten to work on his laptop. As promised there was another large Due North beside his sociology notes. He sat down and gave Hank a tired half smile.

“So why was North drawing on your face?” Hank asked as he looked up from his typing, “she said something about rules.”

“Yeah.” Connor laughed rubbing at the back of his neck, “the first time you fall asleep in public is a freebie, after that whoever catches you gets to draw on your face. Either she caught me, or Simon chickened out again.”

“So you fall asleep while out and about pretty often then?” Was Hank’s follow up as he watched Connor get out his biology textbook.

“Sometimes,” he said with a casual shrug, “usually during midterms or finals week when I spend most of my time studying.”

“Your nap yesterday was your freebie then?” Hank’s attention was returning to his work, as was Connor’s.

“Probably, or your timing saved me.” With that the conversation fell away to be replaced with the clicking of a keyboard and the occasional turning pf a page.

It was a few hours later when Hank stood, “I’m gonna go get another drink. Do you want anything?”

Connor looked up from his notes, “A Chai Tea please. Thank you Hank.”

“No problem kid.” He said as he headed for the counter.

Connor put his biology book away and got out what he needed for mythology. He had about two hours until he needed to leave for the university. Time to concentrate on his test subjects. He sat back and stretched, his back popped like a line of fire crackers since this was the first time he had moved in a few hours.

By the time Hank got back with the drinks, Connor was once again absorbed in his work and jumped when a paper cup came into his line of sight. Hank laughed as he sat down.

“Anyone ever tell you that you’ve got tunnel vision Con?” He remarked with a laugh, “I called your name three times before I gave up.”

There was that nickname again and the bubbling warmth that came with it. Connor was fighting not to grin like an idiot when he spoke, “A few times. Sorry though, I wasn’t trying to ignore you.”

Hank chuckled as he got back to work, “I get the same way when I work sometimes too. Don’t worry.”

“After tonight I’ll at least be getting my sleep schedule back,” Connor said as a way of making conversation, “I just have sociology tomorrow and then I can pace myself for the nurses exam.”

“North won’t be able to draw on your face anymore,” Hank laughed, “but honestly, I’m glad you’ll be catching up on your rest.”

“I’m honestly just looking forward to getting back to my normal work schedule.” Hank gaped at him.

“Connor, do you ever take time off?” He asked, worry lining his voice.

“Yeah. When I’m sick, for finals week, and whenever Silas has a performance that’s within travelling distance. Why?” Connor asked with a tilt of his head.

Hank shook his head, “Let me rephrase that. Do you ever take time off for yourself Connor?”

“Well no. But I don’t need to, I’m happy.”

Hank sighed and leaned forward resting his forearms on the table on either side of his laptop, “Connor are you working this weekend?”

“No. I have-”

“Great. You’re gonna meet me here at noon on Saturday. I’m going to bring you to my place and you’re gonna meet Sumo. One day, that’s all I’m asking.” Hank’s tone made it clear that he wasn’t going to be taking no as an answer.

“Alright.” Connor wouldn’t have turned down the offer anyway, not when it came to spending time to Hank.

With that taken care of, they both got back to work. Connor nearly jumped out of his skin when the alarm on his phone went off. From the looks of it, the sound had startled Hank as well. Connor turned it off quickly and began packing his things.

“Well, that’s my cue,” he said with an awkward laugh, “I’m gonna grab a drink for the road, Want me to get you anything?”

When he looked up, Hank was also getting his things together, “how about you get the drinks Saturday. I’ll join you in line though.”

Connor waited for Hank to finish getting his things together and then they joined the line. Now that he was standing, Connor stretched slightly to alleviate some of the stiffness in his back and let out a satisfied sigh when he finished.

“Do you have plans for the night Hank?” He asked, looking over his shoulder.

“Go home, order take out and pend time with my dog.” He replied, “What about you?”

“Take my finals. Then when I get home check to see if I passed the ones I took yesterday and either order victory or pity pizza.” He responded which got a laugh out of Hank.

“How about this. Since I’m so certain it will be victory pizza, I’ll pay for it.”

“But you don’t have my number,” Connor said turning to face Hank.

“You’ll have to give it to me then, won’t you.” He said with a wink and Connor died. Or maybe he was already dead. Adding that energy shot to the Due North probably killed him and this was just a hallucination.

Hank tapped Connor’s shoulder to get his attention and he took the offered phone. He put his number in and set his contact as Connor :). He handed the phone back and by the time he got to the counter he felt his phone vibrate with a message, he could guess who it was from. Josh gave him a suspicious smile.

“Don’t even start.” Connor muttered, cutting him off, “a medium black coffee please.”

Josh put one hand up in mock surrender and used the other to put in the drink order. Connor paid and headed for the end counter, fighting a smile the whole way.

He checked his phone for new messages, and sure enough there were two from a new number.

3132480705: Hello

3132480705: This is Hank :)

Connor: Hello Hank :)

He added the other to his contact list under Hank <3, because he had a crush and couldn’t help himself. He put his phone back in his sweatshirt pocket as Hank joined the group at the end counter.

“So what tests are you taking tonight,” Hank asked, crossing his arms over his chest in a relaxed manner.

“Biology and then mythology. Tomorrow is sociology.” Connor pulled his phone out to double check his calendar, then put it away again, “then assuming I’ve passed those I’m scheduled to take my nurses exam next Friday.”

“It’s good that you gave yourself a week to study,” he said as Connor went up for his drink, when he came back Connor was wearing a sheepish smile.

“I, uh, didn’t plan it like this. The first testing block was full when I applied.” He waved at Hank as he stepped away, “anyway I’ve got to go. I can, um, text you updates if you want.”

“Sure. Good luck Con.” Hank said as Connor left the cafe.

As soon as he got a cab he texted the group chat which had been suspiciously quiet the whole time he had been with Hank.

The Coffee Crew:

RunawayArkait: Hank gave me his number!

RunawayArkait: Also! I am meeting Sumo this weekend.

RunawayArkait: So, progress. I think?

What.Josh.Does: You have his number and you’re meeting his dog. Yet you’re still questioning if you made progress

Northern_Lights: Go get your man!

SimonSays: Be safe please

RunawayArkait: I mean, Saturday is more of a hostage situation

RunawayArkait: I don’t take enough time for myself apparently

Northern_Lights: Oh. So you’ll listen to him on that!

Northern_Lights: What does that make us?

RunawayArkait: Friends who I love dearly

What.Josh.Does: Well either way, congrats

SimonSays: Don’t forget to tell your brothers

RunawayArkait: Thanks

The Family Feud:

RunawayArkait: Guess what?

Sixty-Second-Set: Your finals were cancelled!

UnluckyNine: You passed your exams?

RunawayArkait: Close, but no

RunawayArkait: Hank gave me his number

UnluckyNine: Nice

Sixty-Second-Set: It’s about fucking time

Sixty-Second-Set: If I had to hear you shine about him one more time I was going to pose as you and get it myself

RunawayArkait: Silas!

UnluckyNine: Just be glad it didn’t come to that

Connor rolled his eyes as the cab pulled up to the university. It shouldn’t surprise him that Silas would threaten him with something that extreme, in Silas’s opinion the more dramatic the even the better. Connor was glad it hadn’t needed to come to that, he knew Silas had meant it. He paid for the cab and made his way to building 27 for the last time this week.

He made his way to the second floor and took a seat at one of the hall tables. He took out his biology notes to go over them again before it was time for the test. He had half an hour, he wouldn’t get through everything but it was better than nothing. Science was a bit like math in that following a predetermined procedure would lead to one of a few results.

The half hour passed quickly since he was preoccupied, when students began leaving the lecture hall he began packing up his things. Just like his two previous finals, he didn’t feel like he was ready. He knew his grades by themselves were good enough to get him into the program, but the tests also came with a passing margin and he didn’t want to rely on his grades alone.

HIs father had raised him and his brothers under the belief that it wouldn’t matter how hard they worked toward their goals since there would always be someone out there that could do it better. He had meant for it to encourage them to go to school and help with the business, but Connor had taken it to mean that he needed to be the one working the hardest to get where he wanted in life. Silas had done similarly albeit in a very different way, and Richard had worked to make himself as close to invisible as possible.

He was waiting outside the classroom for the last of the students to leave when his phone vibrated and pulled him from his thoughts. He pulled it out of his hoodie to put it on silent and saw a message from Hank. He had time, so he opened it.

Hank <3: You’ve got this kid

Connor: Thanks :)

Connor smiled and put his phone away. The room was finally empty and the professor allowed them to come in. He took his usual seat and took a moment to mentally prepare. He got drawn into the test into the test and what he needed of the two hour block flew by. He finished with fifteen minutes left after having gone over his answer just to be sure. He texted Hank first as he left the classroom.

Connor: One more then I’m done for the night

Hank <3: You’ll do great, don’t worry

Connor: :)

He waited until he was in building 1 to message everyone else. He sat in the second floor study area and took a break from his notes.

The Family Feud:

RunawayArkait: Just mythology left

UnluckyNine: That should be easy

Sixty-Second-Set: Hopefully there aren’t any essay questions.

The Coffee Crew:

RunawayArkait: Last test for the night is mythology

SimonSays: You’ll be able to get some decent sleep tonight

What.Josh.Does: Good Luck

Northern_Lights: God I hated that class

He spent the hour before his mythology final studying for it. Working his way through all of the lecture and reading notes he had taken during the semester. This particular professor didn’t believe in midterms so the final covered everything they had gone over during the semester. It annoyed Connor slightly, he would rather take two smaller tests than one massive one. They had been told that there would be at least ten questions from each era of mythology they had covered. it was a daunting undertaking and Connor didn’t think he was ready for it. Not that it mattered much, considering as he didn’t have a choice, but the sheer size of the test made his looming anxiety seem heavier. If he didn’t finish in time he would fail automatically and could kiss his shot at the nurses exam goodbye.

Connor did his best to shake those thoughts from his head as he go this things together. Maybe if he got there as the first exam was finishing he could get an early start. He grabbed his bag and made his way to the classroom waiting across the hall for the other exam to let out. He got his quarter out again to calm his nerves. He went through the same motions as the cafe. Rolling the coin over his knuckles before tossing it in the air and catching it. He did all of this without looking. On the fifth toss the door opened and Connor caught his coin putting it away. He waited for a gap in the students so he could enter the classroom. The professor wouldn’t let him start early, but he did gain extra time to study as he waited on his classmates. He hoped it would help him get through the test faster to have some of the information fresh in his mind.

When the exam was handed out Connor silently cursed Silas and came to understand why North had hated the class so much. More than half of the test was made up of short answer or essay questions. This was going to take forever. With a sigh that was just as much annoyed as it was anxious Connor started on the exam. He finished with a little over five minutes left in the test period. He was one of the last students in the room. He turned in the exam and left quickly, letting out a relieved sigh once he was back in the hall.

Connor: Done for the night and about to head home

Hank <3: How are you feeling?

Connor: Stressed and relieved

Connor: Happy that this is almost over

Hank <3: Take a break tonight. Alright?

Hank <3: Try and unwind

Connor: That sounds like a good plan

Connor: When I get home I’ll let you know if you owe me a pizza :p

Hank <3: Cheeky bastard

Connor: That shouldn’t be news to you

Hank <3: Its not ;)

Connor smiled at the conversation and opened discord as he got in the cab. He tapped his apartment address into the terminal before he messaged his brothers.

The Family Feud:

RunawayArkait: Silas you jinxed me

RunawayArkait: More than half the test was short answer or essay questions

Sixty-Second-Set: Oops. But you finished didn’t you?

UnluckyNine: Obviously. Congrats by the way

Sixty-Second-Set: Then everything is fine

RunawayArkait: Anyway, I’m gonna be offline for the night

Sixty-Second-Set: Enjoy talking with Hank

UnluckyNine: Don’t do anything Silas wouldn’t do

RunawayArkait: That leaves me a lot of options

RunawayArkait: Also I hate you both

The Coffee Crew:

RunawayArkait: Done for the night

RunawayArkait: We can compare test scores tomorrow Josh. I’m going to be offline tonight

SimonSays: Tell Hank hello

RunawayArkait: Why is everyone assuming that!

Northern_Lights: Are we wrong

RunawayArkait: Well no

What.Josh.Does: Alright. Tomorrow then. Have a good night Connor

RunawayArkait: Thanks

He opened Canvas in his phone’s web browser to check if the exams from yesterday had been graded. They had been and he had passed them both. He had gotten 100% on his calculus exam and a 95% on his art history exam. Both above the cut off. It was definitely going to be victory pizza. Then he was going to unwind with a glass of wine and a bubble bath. He’d use what was left of his night to catch up on his sleep.

The cab pulled up to his apartment complex, he paid and got out to head up to his unit. Once he was inside and had put his backpack away and sent Hank a screen shot of his test results.

Connor: So, victory pizza?

Hank <3: Victory pizza. You got any place you usually order from

Connor: Nope. You can pick

Connor: Medium with cheese and mushrooms please

Hank <3: I really should have known that your pizza order was going to be fucking weird

Hank <3: I need your complex name and your apartment number

Connor: Ridgewood Apartments building B5 apartment 205-B

Hank <3: Alright. It’ll be there in an hour

Connor: You’re the best

Hank <3: You only say that because I bought you pizza

Connor: And coffee ;)

Hank <3: You’re the worst

Connor: I try my best

He put his phone on full volume and walked into the kitchen and got out a stemless wine glass as well as the bottle of white wine Silas had bough him the last time he came over. He poured himself half a glass and put the bottle away. With the glass in hand he made his way back to the living room sat back on the couch and kicked his socked feet up onto the coffee table. He turned on the tv and turned it to the true crime channel, quickly getting absorbed in what was on. An hour or so later when there was a knock at his door Connor just about jumped out of his skin. He collected himself and answered the door. He took the pizza and tanked the delivery person before heading back to the living room. He opened the box and set it on the coffee table beside his wine glass. He took a picture and sent it to Hank.

Connor: The right way to celebrate finals (almost) being over

He received a picture in return. It was of Hank’s coffee table, there was a half full whiskey glass and Chinese take out. Sumo was sprawled out in the background.

Hank <3: You’ve got the right idea Con

Connor: Glad we can agree

He moved to the floor in the space between the couch and the coffee table so he could use it as a dining table. He had a couple slices of pizza and finished his first glass of wine before he put the left overs away. He poured another glass of wine and made his way to the bathroom. He started the bath added bubbles and let the water run as he went to his room to get pyjamas. He texted Hank again before he got into the bath.

Connor: Now for the best part of the night. Relaxing with a glass of wine.

Hank <3: I’m more of a whiskey guy myself, but that sounds like a good plan.

Connor let out a content sigh as he sank into the water and relaxed into the warmth. He played music from his phone and stayed in the water until it went cold. He rinsed off and got ready for bed and texted Hank as he plugged his phone in for the night.

Connor: Good night Hank

Hank <3: Sleep well Connor

Hank <3: We wouldn’t want North drawing on you again :)

Connor: No we would not

The next day he didn’t wake up until around noon, his body deciding to try and make up for all of his lost sleep in one go. He got up and got ready, taking what he would no longer need out of his backpack and heading for the cafe. Deciding to walk since it was nice out. While he was waiting to cross at a crosswalk he sent the screenshot of his test results to Josh.

What.Josh.Does: Nice! I got a 97%

What.Josh.Does: I’ll cover your first drink as promised

RunawayArkait: You’re the best

What.Josh.Does: You’re only saying that because I’m buying you a coffee

RunawayArkait: See you soon

He tucked his phone away and crossed the street and continued on his way to the cafe, He put his bag at his usual table and went to stand in line. Connor hadn’t been in line long when Hank’s voice sounded from behind him.

“Late start today Con?” Hank asked, the nickname he had given Connor rolled off his tongue like they had known each other for years. The dopey grin it caused to curl over Connor’s lips made him glad that Hank was behind him, “you’re usually passed out at your table by now.”

“That’s only happened like twice this week,” Connor argued, it was weak but it was all he had.

“Connor, its Wednesday,” Hank continued, “two out of three days this week you’ve been asleep at the table. A two-thirds average isn’t that great when you’re on the third day.”

“I don’t think I’ll be doing that today considering as I didn’t wake up until like noon.”

“So you finally made up for your lost sleep.”

“Apparently.” Connor said as he stepped up to the counter, “a large Iced Americano please.”

Josh put the order in and Connor walked to the end counter to wait. He was tempted to pull out his coin but the cafe was pretty busy today and the sound tended to annoy people. So he settled for signing the alphabet in reverse. This would be his last test for the semester, he’d had plenty of time to prepare and yet his anxiety was still eating at him. He finished one cycle of the alphabet and started over.

“So what are you doing with your hand?” Hank asked, scaring the life out of Connor who had retreated into his own thoughts.

“Signing the alphabet backwards.” Connor replied once he had collected himself.

“Why?”

“I need something to keep my hands busy when I’m anxious and I don’t want to annoy anyone with my quarter.”

“Test anxiety? Is that why you’ve been studying so hard?’

“Yeah. I want to do everything in my power to make sure I pass my exams.” His drink was called and he went up to the counter to grab it. He pointed to the table where his bag was and when Hank nodded Connor made his way over.

Connor took his seat and got out his sociology textbook and notes. By the time he had gotten his stuff out Hank was taking his usual seat across the table. He got out his laptop and they both got to work. They passed the time in busy pleasant silence until Hank asked him a question.

“So what do you do with your quarter that annoys people?” Hank asked as he looked up from his work.

“This.” He said as he pulled out the coin rolling it over his knuckles then flicking it up in the air, catching it in his other hand and then showed it off with a ‘tada’ motion.

“That’s a pretty neat trick.” Hank said with a half smile, “but i can see why you wouldn’t want to d it in a crowded place.”

“It annoys some people so I try to avoid doing it if I can.” He said, returning his attention to his notes.

The conversation fell away after that. Hank was the first to leave today, Sumo had a doctors appointment. They said their goodbyes and Connor got back to work. A few hours later when he was on his way to the university he sent Hank a text.

Connor: Last one. Wish me luck

Hank <3: You’ve got this Con, luck or no luck

Hank <3: But good luck

Connor: Thanks Hank. You’re the best

Hank <3: I try to be

Connor was smiling at his phone like a love struck idiot and it took all of his strength not to send a heart back. He didn’t want to make Hank uncomfortable. They were only friends and most friends didn’t do that. He set his phone in his lap and used his hands to cover his blush and matching dopey grin. He knew he had it bad. Going back over the texts, some of them sounded like flirting. Connor took a deep breath trying to collect himself, he needed to focus on his final for the time being.

He was somewhat back to himself when he got to the university. Once this test was done he had four days of what amounted to free time. Thursday, Friday, and Sunday were days he was going to use to study for his nurses exam and Saturday he was going to meet Sumo. Monday it was back to work as usual and then that Friday he was taking his nurses exam. Then it was back to business as usual until the fall semester started, He got out and made his way to building 1 for the last time this semester.

He made his way to the classroom as the previous class left. There wouldn’t be any last minute studying this time. He took his phone out of his pocket to double check that it was on silent then put it away. When the last of the students filed out Connor entered the class and took his usual seat.

Once it started, the testing block seemed to fly by. He finished with half an hour left. Surprisingly this test was the one he felt the most confidence for. When he got in a cab, he messaged Hank first.

Connor: I’m done!

Connor: My finals are finished!

Hank <3: Congratulations! For the next two weeks you’re free

Connor: I’m going home and taking a fucking nap

Hank <3: It’s well earned

Hank <3: Sleep well Con

The Family Feud:

RunawayArkait: I’m done

UnluckyNine: Congratulations

Sixty-Second-Set: Time to celebrate

RunawayArkait: Time to take a nap

UnluckyNine: That works too

Sixty-Second-Set: Boring

The Coffee Crew:

RunawayArkait: I’m free

SimonSays: Nice

What.Josh.Does: Good for you

Northern_Lights: Party time!

RunawayArkait: Sorry to disappoint, but I’ll be taking a nap

Northern_Lights: That’s boring

Connor rolled his eyes as he closed discord going back to his conversation with Hank.

Connor: Apparently I’m boring for wanting to sleep off my finals

Hank <3: They’re your tests. You get to pick how you celebrate

Connor: Exactly. So I’m going to make up for lost sleep

Hank <3: Sounds like a good plan to me

Connor: Thanks

The cab arrived at his apartment and he paid and got out. Exhaustion weighed down on him as he made his way up to his unit. He’d reheat a couple slices of pizza for dinner and then head to bed. He fumbled with his keys for a moment before getting his door unlocked

Once he was inside he dropped his bag by the door and kicked his shoes off. In the morning the mess would probably bother him, but he was tired now so that was future Connor’s problem. He opened the fridge and grabbed two slices of pizza and put them on a paper towel then in the microwave. Tonight was a lazy night. He changed into pyjamas and came back into the kitchen when the microwave went off. For the sake of convenience he ate over the kitchen sink. He rushed through his nightly routine, Before he climbed into bed he pugged in his phone and messaged Hank one last time.

Connor: Good night Hank

Hank <3: Sleep well Connor

Thursday found him awake around eleven. Unlike yesterday there was no sleep hangover, for the first time in a long time he felt well rested. He spent the first part of the day cleaning his apartment and doing laundry. Giving his brain a break from the bookwork, which felt pretty nice.

Around three o’clock he made his way to the cafe. He stood in line and looked around. He found Hank at their usual table, he was absorbed in his work and had earbuds in. Since he had the time, he messaged him to see if he wanted anything.

Connor: I’m in line. Would you like anything

He scanned the menu deciding on a chai tea rather than coffee since he felt well rested for once. He looked down when his phone vibrated.

Hank <3: Fist of all, you scared the ever loving fuck outta

Hank <3: My usual with two shots please

Connor: Got it :)

Connor: And sorry. I just thought I’d ask since I was up here

When it was his turn he noticed one of the new trainees, Echo, he believed, working the register while North worked the bar. He smiled at the blue haired woman, “Could I get a medium Chai Tea with cinnamon and nutmeg as well as a Vanilla Latte with two shots of espresso.”

She seemed to struggle with the first drink and North came to her aid, staying to help with the second and writing on the cups to make things easier. Connor always spoke his orders to the new hires since knowing how to sign wasn’t a requirement and he didn’t want to assume they knew it. Shifts were designed so that at least one person who knew Sign Language was there. Once the drinks were up, he headed for the table.

He sat across from Hank in his usual seat and slid the cup across the table while Hank took out his earbuds, “so manuscript today or short stories?”

“Manuscript surprisingly enough.” Hank said before drinking from his latte and letting out a content hum, “what about you? What book are you rubbing your nose against today?”

“Today I’m going over the notes and study guide Markus gave me to make flashcards to go over on my breaks since I go back to work on Monday,” Connor said as he got out what he would need. Typed out notes, a hand written study guide, a stack of one thousand notecards, and a pencil pouch with that said ‘always look on the bright side’ on the front.

Hank gave an amused chuckle and shook his head, “I still think you should go over the definition of the word break Con.”

Connor drank from his chai tea to cover the involuntary grin that the nickname caused, “I’m taking an ‘actual’ day off on Saturday. Remember?”

Hank rolled his eyes but seemed to accept Connor’s flimsy argument. They lapsed into a companionable silence. Connor was working on his flashcards and Hank was working on his manuscript. Occasionally Connor would catch himself staring at Hank, but would look away before he got caught and forced himself get back to work. Until his luck ran out and Hank met his eyes cracking a smile that lead Connor to believe he hadn’t been nearly as stealthy as he had thought.

“See something you like Connor?” Hank joked, and it had to be a joke. Despite the way some of their messages read there was no way Hank would ever flirt with him. Connor turned into a tomato anyway.

“I was, um, I was just staring off into space...” he trailed off never having been all that great of a liar. He wanted the ground to open up and swallow them whole.

Hank didn’t look like he believed Connor but he didn’t comment on it. They went back to their easy silence until Hank had to leave.

“Sumo is getting groomed tomorrow, so I’m not gonna make it to the cafe,” Hank sounded almost upset that he was going to miss a day. Like he looked forward to these days too.

“That’s alright,” Connor said with a slight shrug, “we’ll see each other on Saturday.”

“See you Saturday then,” Hank responded with a half smile as he turned to leave.

Connor watched him go before getting back to his notecards. It took him a few hours and a couple cups of coffee to get them finished, and once he was done he headed home. He would probably stay home tomorrow too. Take a day to himself and mentally prepare for meeting Sumo and what that would bring.

He finished off the pizza and did the rest of his laundry. With his apartment mostly clean and his laundry done, Connor decided to call it a night. Once again messaging Hank before falling asleep.

Connor: Good night Hank

Hank <3: Night Connor

Hank <3: Don’t work too hard tomorrow

Connor: No promises, but I’ll try my best

He spent most of Friday morning fretting over what to wear. Eventually deciding on a black short sleeve button down that was patterned with gradient grey roses, black jeans and grey converse. It wasn’t a date, but looking nice couldn’t hurt anything. He hung the outfit on his closet door and paced into his living room debating on if it would be better to message his brothers or his friends. Richard hadn’t dated anyone before so seeking him out for romantic advise probably wouldn’t be the wisest. Silas preferred a friends with benefits arrangement over dating so he wouldn’t be any help. North would just make fun of him. That left Josh, Simon, and Markus. Simon and Markus were dating so that would probably be the best bet.

RunawayArkait has started a group chat with Made-By_Markus and SimonSays!

RunawayArkait: I need help

RunawayArkait: What does one do on a not-date visit to their crush’s house to meet their dog

SimonSays: Send their kind and supportive friends pictures of said dog. Obviously

SimonSays: Keep a level head, but pay enough attention to see if he is flirting back

RunawayArkait: Flirting back? That implies that I flirt with him. Which I don’t!

Made-By_Markus: But you do. I’ve heard all about it from Simon

RunawayArkait: Rude!

Made-By_Markus: As cliche as it sounds, just be yourself

SimonSays: Relax. Like you said, it’s not a date

RunawayArkait: Thanks I guess

Made-By_Markus: Anytime. Also Simon, I’m in the lobby

SimonSays: Alright. I’ll be down soon

RunawayArkait: And that’s my cue to leave. Enjoy your date!

Made-By_Markus: Thanks

Connor groaned at the lack of help. Figuring he was stressing too much over something that was decidedly not a date, he decided to spend the rest of his Friday curled up on the couch catching up on all of the true crime shows he had missed on his study binge.

He woke up at eight in the morning on Saturday. He took his time getting ready and once he was satisfied with his appearance he left for the cafe at around eleven-thirty. He decided to walk so he could work off some of the anxiety that was thrumming beneath his skin. He debated cancelling several times, but eventually decided that he deserved to meet a new dog after having worked so hard to pass all of his finals. If it so happened that he was reading too far into this, which was incredibly likely, he would have at least gotten to see a new dog. He would be able to add a Saint Bernard to his mug which he would have to edit and then reorder. He won either way.

Connor arrived to find Hank waiting outside the cafe with one of the biggest and most fluffy dogs he had ever seen. Sumo sat neatly beside Hank looking to be very well trained, which was probably pretty helpful considering the dog’s size. He took a picture of Sumo with is phone before greeting Hank.

“You’re here early.” Connor said in way of a greeting and Hank turned to him with a smile.

“So are you Con,” he said, lifting his free hand in a lazy wave, “but that’s more expected of you than me.”

Connor laughed, “Yeah.”

Hank changed the subject, “So I didn’t find a no pets sign but I just wanted to check if Sumo would be allowed inside.”

“Unfortunately no. We do have a service animal policy tough.” Connor kept himself from gesturing at the door with his free hand by reaching it out toward Sumo so the large dog could sniff at it, “I can go inside and get the drinks then meet you back out here, since I’m covering drinks today anyway. Your usual?”

“Sounds good to me,” Hank said with a thankful smile. “I’ll let you know if we head back to the car.”

“Thanks/” Connor said as he headed inside.

The line was thankfully short and it didn’t take long to place their order. An iced Americano for Connor and a Vanilla Latte with two shots of espresso for Hank. When he exited the cafe, both Hank and Sumo were at the bench.

“Ready?” Hank asked as he got up, Sumo obediently following suit.

“Yup.” He handed the latte off as they walked to the car and Sumo happily snuffled at his free hand as they went.

When they got to the car Connor opened the back door on the passenger side so Hank could get Sumo in. With that taken care of, Connor got in on the passenger side, only to have Sumo lean forward and lick a stripe up his face when he turned to look in the back seat. Hank laughed at the sight.

“Hello to you too Sumo.” Connor said, using his jacket sleeve to wipe the drool off of his face then reaching back to pet him, “its nice to meet you.”

“What kind of dog do you think you’re gonna get once you graduate?” Hank asked as he pulled out of the parking lot and began the drive to his house.

“Either an Australian Shepherd or a Golden Retriever,” Connor replied, “small enough to keep in an apartment but big enough to socially be considered a dog. I hope to be able to put them through search and rescue as well as service training.”

“Why am I not surprised you have all of this planned out.” Hank shook his head with a fond smile.

“I like being organized.”

“I can tell.”

Connor rolled his eyes, “What made you decide on a Saint Bernard?”

“I picked him up from a shelter a few years back.” He paused for a moment, seeming to consider his words, “my fiance and I had split and I didn’t want to be alone in the house. Took about a month to realize i was going to need a bigger yard and then we moved. Whoever had him first had already trained him which has made things a lot easier.” He looked in the rearview mirror at Sumo for a moment, “the big lug even knows a couple of hand signs.”

Hank had a fiance at one point, a few years back apparently. Connor wanted to ask about it, but the rapid change in topic made it clear that Hank didn’t want to, “Really? What commands does he know the signs for?”

“I’ll show you when we get to the house, how about that?” Hank suggested.

“I’m looking forward to it.”

As it turned out, Sumo knew the signs for sit, stay, laydown, and roll over. Connor spent the next few hours teaching him the sign commands for speak, play dead, shake hands, and high five. It didn’t go well, which was fine because hank seemed to get a kick out of it. Once he gave up and settled beside Hank on the couch they ordered take out and talked enjoying each other’s company. It was a few hours later, when they were getting ready to leave that Hank asked him a favor.

“So I kind of had an ulterior motive for asking you over today,” Hank started with a tentative smile. “There’s a writers’ conference next weekend, I was wondering if you would mind stopping by to check on Sumo while I’m away since he seems to like you.”

“Of course I wouldn’t mind,” Connor said as he headed for the door. “He’s well behaved and a sweetheart.”

“Thank you so much.” Hank sounded genuinely relieved. He opened the front door and called over his shoulder to Sumo, “I’ll be back soon. Be good while I take Connor home.”

“I’ll see you next weekend,” Connor called to the dog as he left.

The ride to Connor’s apartment was filled with idle chatter, broken up occasionally by Connor giving Hank directions. It was nice, and his anxiety over today seemed distant and unnecessary. Today had been easy and comfortable. They arrived at his complex about twenty minutes later and Connor wasn’t ready to be done yet.

“Uh, today was nice,” Connor said eloquently. He was pretty sure he couldn’t have been more awkward if he tried.

“Yeah, it was,” Hank said seeming just as nervous, “um, if you want to come by again just let me know I guess.”

“Yeah. Uh, thanks then.” Hank unlocked the door as Connor reached for the handle, “I’ll um, I’ll watch Sumo whenever you need me to.”

“Thanks Con,” he said as Connor opened the door and got out, “have a good night.”

“You too Hank.” Connor gave him a slight wave before he shut the car door and went inside the complex. He had been so awkward. Hank definitely know now and he was probably uncomfortable.

Connor let out a frustrated groan once he was in his apartment. He made himself a cup of tea to help wind down before bed. The best thing he could do would be to act like nothing had changed and maybe they could still be friends. He sighed and finished his tea and got ready for bed. He texted Hank as usual before calling it a night.

Connor: Thanks for today Hank. It was a lot of fun

Connor: Good night

Hank <3: I’m glad you enjoyed yourself. Sleep well Con

Connor smiled at his phone before setting it aside and falling asleep. As long as he could keep his feeling tucked away, things would be fine.

Sunday went by in a blur of studying and self pity. He answered messages as they came, trying to make it seem like things were normal. Like he hadn’t potentially fucked everything up. He was thankful he had today to wallow because come tomorrow he had to be a functioning human being. When he was getting ready for bed, he checked the messages from Hank like he hadn’t been avoiding him all day.

Hank <3: Are you coming to the cafe today?

Hank <3: Is everything alright?

Hank <3: Connor?

Connor: Sorry

Connor: My exhaustion from the week came back with a vengeance

Connor: I didn’t mean to worry you

Hank <3: It’s alright

Hank <3: I’m just glad to see that you’re okay

Connor: I’m going to call it a night

Hank <3: Sleep well

Connor: Thank you

Guilt clung to Connor as he drifted off making his sleep uneasy and restless. He didn’t mean to make Hank worry he just hadn’t known how to face him. When morning rolled around he was exhausted. He went through his morning routine on autopilot. He made coffee and poured it into his travel mug before walking to work. He was almost late, but made up for it by working part of the lunch rush. He didn’t see Hank before he clocked out for the day. He walked back home and took some time to himself before studying.

The rest of the week went similarly. His texts to Hank throughout the day and before bed became the parts of his routine he looked forward to the most. he had Friday off so he could take his nurses exam. Connor didn’t feel like he would be ready, but this was all the time he was going to get. He would deal with it come Friday.

He woke up early on Friday and spent his morning studying. He left for the university around two and messaged Hank first when he got in the cab.

Connor: On my way to the exam

Hank <3: Good luck

Hank <3: Let me know how it goes

Connor: Will do :)

The Family Feud:

RunawayArkait: Time for the exam

Sixty-Second-Set: You’ve got this

UnluckyNine; You’re more than ready

The Coffee Crew

RunawayArkait: Exam day

Northern_Lights: Bet you’ll be in the top half of the class

Echo-Over-The-Water: Good luck Connor!

SimonSays: You’ll do great

What.Josh.Does: Here comes the cafe’s second nursing student

Connor put his [hone on silent and spent the rest of the cab ride going over his notecards. Markus had given him a general idea of what the test would cover, though the specific questions were changed every testing period. The test was a mix of essay, short answer, and multiple choice questions. They would have three hours to finish. Connor wasn’t exactly confident that he would pass, but he was fairly certain he would finish before the testing period ended. The results would be posted on Monday and he would have time to register for the recommended classes and buy books after that. Not to mention a whole weekend with Sumo to help with his worry.

He took his time on the exam, and then more time to go back over and correct some of his answers. He turned in the exam with fifteen minutes left in the period. He ordered a cab and messaged Hank, knowing that the other was on a flight and he wouldn’t get a reply.

Connor: Finished my exam and I’m feeling pretty good about it

Connor: I’ll swing by in a couple hours to check on Sumo and send pictures

The Family Feud:

RunawayArkait: It’s done

UnluckyNine: Congrats

Sixty-Second-Set: Look at you go Mr. Nurse

The Coffee Crew:

RunawayArkait: Finished!

RunawayArkait: I’m gonna be gone for the weekend

SimonSays: Give Sumo lots of love for us!

Echo-Over-The-Water: Congratulations!

Northern_Lights: You did it

What.Josh.Does: Enjoy your weekend

When he got to his apartment he set his bag on the couch and set an alarm on his phone for three hours from now and laid down for a nap. When he woke up he would pack for his weekend with Sumo.

#A Cup of Something Better #dbh #d:bh #hank anderson #d:bh hank #dbh hank #connor rk800 #dbh connor #rk800 #d:bh connor #hank x connor #hankcon #hannor #dbh hannor #d:bh hank x connor

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linastudyblrsblog · 4 years

Text

Burnout, unfortunately, is everywhere. If you haven’t experienced it personally, you probably know someone who has self-diagnosed.

Defined by the World Health Organization as a syndrome “conceptualized as resulted from chronic workplace stress,” it causes exhaustion, “feelings of negativism or cynicism,” and reduced efficacy. That’s a big umbrella, and the condition has become something of a catch-all for chronic, modern-day stress.

Here are 11 of our favorites to help you create your own escape plan:

1. Figure out which kind of burnout you have.

The Association for Psychological Science found that burnout comes in three different types, and each one needs a different solution:

1. Overload: The frenetic employee who works toward success until exhaustion, is most closely related to emotional venting. These individuals might try to cope with their stress by complaining about the organizational hierarchy at work, feeling as though it imposes limits on their goals and ambitions. That coping strategy, unsurprisingly, seems to lead to a stress overload and a tendency to throw in the towel.

2. Lack of Development: Most closely associated with an avoidance coping strategy. These under-challenged workers tend to manage stress by distancing themselves from work, a strategy that leads to depersonalization and cynicism — a harbinger for burning out and packing up shop.

3. Neglect: Seems to stem from a coping strategy based on giving up in the face of stress. Even though these individuals want to achieve a certain goal, they lack the motivation to plow through barriers to get to it

2. Cut down and start saying “no.”

Every “yes” you say adds another thing on your plate and takes more energy away from you, and your creativity:

If you take on too many commitments, start saying ‘no’. If you have too many ideas, execute a few and put the rest in a folder labeled ‘backburner’. If you suffer from information overload, start blocking off downtime or focused worktime in your schedule (here are some tools that may help). Answer email at set times. Switch your phone off, or even leave it behind. The world won’t end. I promise.

3. Give up on getting motivated.

With real burnout mode, you’re too exhausted to stay positive. So don’t:

When you’re mired in negative emotions about work, resist the urge to try to stamp them out. Instead, get a little distance — step away from your desk, focus on your breath for a few seconds — and then just feel the negativity, without trying to banish it. Then take action alongside the emotion. Usually, the negative feelings will soon dissipate. Even if they don’t, you’ll be a step closer to a meaningful achievement.

4. Treat the disease, not the symptoms.

For real recovery and prevention to happen, you need to find the real, deeper issue behind why you’re burnt out:

Instead of overreacting to the blip, step back from it, see it as an incident instead of an indictment, and then examine it like Sherlock Holmes looking for clues.

For example, you could ask yourself: What happened before the slip? Did I encounter a specific trigger event such as a last-minute client request? Was there an unusual circumstance such as sickness? When did I first notice the reversion in my behavior? Is some part of this routine unsustainable and if so, how could I adjust it to make it more realistic?

5. Make downtime a daily ritual.

To help relieve pressure, schedule daily blocks of downtime to refuel your brain and well-being. It can be anything from meditation to a nap, a walk, or simply turning off the wifi for a while:

When it comes to scheduling, we will need to allocate blocks of time for deep thinking. Maybe you will carve out a 1-2 hour block on your calendar every day for taking a walk or grabbing a cup of coffee and just pondering some of those bigger things. I can even imagine a day when homes and apartments have a special switch that shuts down wi-fi and data access during dinner or at night – just to provide a temporary pause from the constant flow of status updates and other communications…

There is no better mental escape from our tech-charged world than the act of meditation. If only for 15 minutes, the ability to steer your mind away from constant stimulation is downright liberating. There are various kinds of meditation. Some forms require you to think about nothing and completely clear your mind. (This is quite hard, at least for me.) Other forms of meditation are about focusing on one specific thing – often your breath, or a mantra that you repeat in your head (or out loud) for 10-15 minutes…

If you can’t adopt meditation, you might also try clearing your mind the old fashioned way – by sleeping. The legendary energy expert and bestselling author Tony Schwartz takes a 20-minute nap every day. Even if it’s a few hours before he presents to a packed audience, he’ll take a short nap.

6. Stop being a perfectionist; start satisficing.

Trying to maximize every task and squeeze every drop of productivity out of your creative work is a recipe for exhaustion and procrastination. Set yourself boundaries for acceptable work and stick to them:

Consistently sacrificing your health, your well being, your relationships, and your sanity for the sake of living up to impossible standards will lead to some dangerous behaviors and, ironically, a great deal of procrastination. Instead of saying, “I’ll stay up until this is done,” say, “I’ll work until X time and then I’m stopping. I may end up needing to ask for an extension or complete less than perfect work. But that’s OK. I’m worth it.” Making sleep, exercise, and downtime a regular part of your life plays an essential role in a lasting, productive creative career.

7. Track your progress every day.

Keeping track allows you to see exactly how much is on your plate, not only day-to-day, but consistently over time:

Disappointing feedback can be painful at first – research shows that failure and losses can hurt twice as much as the pleasure of equivalent gains. But if you discover you’re off course, reliable feedback shows you by how much, and you then have the opportunity to take remedial action and to plot a new training regime or writing schedule. The temporary pain of negative feedback is nothing compared with the crushing experience of project failure. Better to discover that you’re behind and need to start writing an hour earlier each day, than to have your book contract rescinded further down the line because you’ve failed to deliver.

8. Change location often.

Entrepreneurs or freelancers can be especially prone to burnout. Joel Runyon plays “workstation popcorn,” in which he groups tasks by location and then switches, in order to keep work manageable, provide himself frequent breaks, and spend his time efficiently:

You find yourself spending hours at your computer, dutifully “working” but getting very little done. You finish each day with the dreaded feeling that you’re behind, and that you’re only falling farther and farther behind. You’re buried below an ever-growing to-do list. There’s a feeling of dread that tomorrow is coming, and that it’s bringing with it even more work that you probably won’t be able to get ahead on.

List out everything you need to do today. Try to be as specific as you can…Next, break that list into three sections. Step 1: Go to cafe [or desk, a different table in your office, etc.] #1. Step 2: Start working on item group #1…Once you finish all the tasks in group #1, get up and move. Close your tabs, pack your bags, and physically move your butt to your next spot. If you can, walk or bike to your next stop…When you get to the next cafe [or spot], start on the next action item group, and repeat…

When you’ve completed everything on your to-do list for the day, you are done working. Relax, kick back, and live your life. Don’t take work home with you because that won’t help you get more done – it will just wear you out.

9. Don’t overload what downtime you do get.

Vacations themselves can cause, or worsen burnout, with high-stress situations, expectations, and sleep interruption. Use it to help in recovery from burnout instead:

Make a flexible itinerary a priority. [A] study from Radboud University found that effective vacations give you the choice and freedom to choose what you want to do. That means two things: Try to avoid structuring your vacation around an unbreakable schedule, and plan on going somewhere that has multiple options to pick from depending on the weather, your level of energy, or your budget.

10. Write yourself fan mail.

Seth Godin uses self-fan mail as a way to keep motivated instead of burning out on a project that seems far from completion:

I define non-clinical anxiety as, “experiencing failure in advance.” If you’re busy enacting a future that hasn’t happened yet, and amplifying the worst possible outcomes, it’s no wonder it’s difficult to ship that work. With disappointment, I note that our culture doesn’t have an easily found word for the opposite. For experiencing success in advance. For visualizing the best possible outcomes before they happen. Will your book get a great testimonial? Write it out. Will your talk move someone in the audience to change and to let you know about it? What did they say? Will this new product gain shelf space at the local market? Take a picture. Writing yourself fan mail in advance, and picturing the change you’ve announced you’re trying, to make is an effective way to push yourself to build something that actually generates that action.

11. Break projects into bite-sized pieces.

Taking a task on in one entire lump can be exhausting and provide little room for rest in between. Breaking up your projects into set chunks with their own deadlines provides a much healthier, and easier, way of completing a large project:

The default take on deadlines is typically to consider them to be cumbersome and stressful. Yet, from another perspective, a deadline can be viewed as a huge benefit to any project. Without the urgency of a hard deadline pushing a project to completion, it’s easy for you, your team, or your client to lose focus. We’ve all worked on agonizing projects where the timeline just bleeds on and on, merely because the flexibility is there…

It turns out that the manner in which a task is presented to someone – or the way in which you present it to your brain – has a significant impact on how motivated you will be to take action. A study led by researcher Sean McCrea at the University of Konstanz in Germany recently found that people are much more likely to tackle a concrete task than an abstract task… It seems to me like the difference between being handed a map versus following the step-by-step instructions of a GPS device. Not everyone can read a map, but everyone can follow the directions. By breaking your project down into smaller, well-described tasks, the way forward becomes clear and it’s easy to take action.

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afro-elf · 5 years

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@farrahda5hy: Happy birthday bitch! Have a fun collaboration from me and Jordan to you! Some notes before we started:

1. This is only first part bitch, better start a tag, I recommend #songwriting camp. You’re gonna get more parts throughout your birthday, Rihanna.

2. Cherisse is a Lizzo expy character, just to understand the vibe, bitch.

3. Happy birthday, enjoy! :3

you and @twolverine will pay for this with your lives but thanks it’s deeply self indulgent and cute

Astral Records is the home of many of the top-selling artists. Cherisse, the hottest act currently, is gearing up to work on a new album, and much of the label’s resources are dedicated to making this an epic surprise release. The best songwriters and producers are gathered at a retreat to create concepts for Cherisse’s upcoming album.

Unfortunately for you, you weren’t there for the first week of the retreat, as you had to finish another project that you were working on. That also meant that you weren’t able to have as much fun with the camp activities that were happening, which was fine, honestly. You were there to work, dammit.

Thankfully, it also meant that it was just that much less time you had to spend in a cabin, which just so happened to be right next to- ugh! It’s this other songwriter who is totally cute, in your opinion. His name is Thomas, but everybody calls him Tom. He definitely only got a job at the label because his parents are a well-respected producers at the label, but he does a great job. He specializes in writing love songs, ugh, and every time an artist puts out a song with lyrics credited to him, it seems to be the next love anthem. No doubt, he’s gonna shop some love songs at this retreat.

Agony flooded you when you saw him walk out of the cabin next door as you walked into yours for the first time.

You’re not going to concern yourself with this cute man at your place of work, you tell yourself. You’re at the campgrounds to work, and hopefully, hopefully, your work friends will help you with that. Luckily, the songwriting teams were sectioned off into cabins together, and you’re assigned with your work friends, Laura and Jordan. Jordan’s a great lyricist, and Laura’s great with instrumentals, both digital and analog. Together, the three of you can conjure a sure-fire hit for Cherisse.

That is. If they can try to focus on working.

“Come on guys, I’ve only been here a day, and we’ve got a deadline!” you complain to your friends who are lathering themselves in sunblock and Body Lava and getting ready to head outside.

“I know, I know,” Laura says, putting on her sunglasses. “But we’ve been in crunch mode for like a week, and we need a good solid break!”

“I just wanna meditate, ground myself, recharge, refuel my energy,” Jordan says. “And the lakeside is the perfect spot for that.”

You look at them in disbelief and ask, “You need a full beat face of makeup to meditate?”

“…The people here are still my co-workers.”

“You should join us, Kendra!” Laura pushes you. “You just spent a week in crunch mode like we did, you should enjoy yourself while you’re here! We’ll get the work done, it’s not often we get a work-mandated vacation!”

“It’s not a vacation, it’s a retreat,” you argue. “A work retreat! We’re here to work!”

“Look, I’m not gonna stop you from hopping right into work mode,” Jordan says as they fished for something on the desk, “but we definitely need the break.” They turn to you with a flash drive in their hand. “You can take a look at what we’ve got so far on there, look at our notes, look at the composition so far, and when we get together tomorrow, we’ll hope right to it.”

You blink. “Tomorrow? You’re gonna leave me to myself till tomorrow?”

“The alternative is chilling with us, or just checking out the fun camp activities,” Laura says. “Literally everyone else is slacking off today, you might as well, too.”

“Yeah, there’s canoes, you could play cornhole, there’s archery…” Jordan trails off on that last one, and shares a devious look with Laura.

“You should definitely check out archery!” Laura says.

You blink again.

“Look, if you go have fun shooting arrows at the Target logo, we promise we’ll dedicate our full attention to the songwriting tomorrow, okay?” Jordan pleads.

You roll your eyes. “Fine. I just want this to be a good song for our literal biggest star performer, we cannot fuck this up.”

“We’ll be fiiiiine,” Laura says, as she walks out with Jordan.

For the moment it is just you in the cabin. Those bitches better deliver on that promise. If your song doesn’t end up on Cherisse’s album it wouldn’t mean you’d get fired or anything, but that’s huge opportunity to work on bigger and better projects down the line, out the window. You have got to nail this. Of course, the perfectionist that you are, you want a completed song ready to deliver by the end of the retreat, even though the objective is just to have clear concepts and ideas. But you aren’t here to falter!

One sunblock application later, you walk out of the cabin and look around, and realize that you have no idea where anything is. Well shit.

You start walking in a random direction, hoping to find somebody who can help you. In the distance on your left, you see the lakeside, and people splashing about or canoeing, and to the right you see more buildings, what you assume are mess halls and bathrooms.

“Hey Kendra!” a voice from behind calls to you. You turn, to find… oh damn. It’s Janis and Marcel. Top-tier producers at the label, intimidatingly beautiful… and Tom’s parents. You don’t know which part to be more scared of right now. The fact that they’re walking with Cherisse, Miss Fat and Fabulous, the very artist you’re all here for, does not help.

Marcel is a friendly guy, and that’s what scares you about him. You’d hate to disappoint such a friendly face. Janis, on the other hand, isn’t so easy to pin down. There’s an air about her that reeks of disapproval. As a general rule, you try not to look her in the eyes. Cherisse, you’ve met before, but you’ve never directly worked with her until this point.

You don’t realize that you’ve frozen in your spot until you see that the trio are standing right before you now. Oh fuck.

“Kendra! I haven’t seen you at all this past week! Where have you been?” Marcel beams with curiosity.

“I just got here today,” you say. “Had another project to finish before coming here.”

“Don’t you like to stay busy? I’m sure you’ve got some great ideas for Cherisse here!”

“My team and I will do our best.”

“I sure hope so,” Janis pipes in. “We’d hate to disappoint.” You gulp in fear.

“Anyways, hennyways,” Cherisse says, “we were just headed to the archery range, wanna come with?”

“Yeah!” you squeak. Ouch, embarrassing much? “I was actually trying to look for it!”

“Come along, it’s not too far. I’ve been dying to get my hands on a bow and arrow.”

You walk with them, staying to Cherisse’s side (after some quick math determining that she was the least intimidating of the three). It’s not long before you see the rows of targets with arrows arranged in precarious patterns in them, most of which are nowhere near the a bullseye. You see your colleagues all gathered, beer bottles in their hands. That might explain something about their archery skills for the moment.

Everyone sees your group approach and greet you with a collective, “Aaaayyyy!” You figure that’s more for the producers and pop star next to you, though. You’re not too worried about that.

Cherisse beckons you to a target next to hers, and you two bond while shooting. She’s surprisingly good with a bow and arrow, way better than you, probably better than Jeremy Renner without special effects. You’re getting really comfortable with her when you hear someone call out, “Hey mum!” You make the mistake of turning to see, and, yep. There’s Tom, fast-walking up to his mom to tell her something.

“Dammit,” you say a little louder than you think.

“What, what’s wrong?” Cherisse asks you.

“Nothing!” you squeak out, turning back to face her.

She laughs at you. “And here I thought we were getting to be good friends.”

“I promise, I’m totally fine! Yep! The dictionary definition of okay!”

Cherisse gives you a look.

“I just pricked my finger on the bow, yeah, that!”

“Oh no, are you alright?” a voice asks you from behind.

“Eep!” you squeak again. This needs to stop happening to you.

You turn around again and– oh fuck it’s Tom.

“I’m sorry for scaring you,” he says sheepishly.

“Oh nononononono!” He jerks back a little bit in shock. You take a deep breath. “I’m fine. Everything’s okay. Right Cherisse?”

Cherisse gives you another look. “Right,” she says, disbelieving.

“Great!” Tom says. “You won’t mind if I shoot next to you, then?”

“Not at all,” you say shyly. This is too much excitement to be dealing with in one day.

He picks up his bow and arrow and smoothly shoots it into the bullseye.

You and Cherisse drop your jaws. “Dayum,” you say simultaneously.

Tom shrugs. “I’ve just had a lot of practice,” he says. “I’m glad they’ve got an archery range out here, I’ve been here every day.” He shoots another two arrows right next to the first one.

“Wow, you’re good,” you say stupidly.

“Thanks,” he says, smiling at you. You giggle. You are too soft to be dealing with this right now.

Cherisse gives you a third look. One that you do. Not. Trust. “Well, Kendra, it’s been great talking to you here,” she says, gathering up her bow and arrows, “but I’ve got some stuff I need to check on. I’ll be seeing you around!”

You panic, you scream internally for her to not leave you alone with this cute boy from your office. But she doesn’t have telepathy. Or if she does, she’s leaving you to suffer.

“Well, it’s just us,” Tom tells you. “I can’t promise I’ll be as exciting as Cherisse though.”

“Oh no, it’s fine,” you say back. You try to focus your aim on the bulleye in front of you to distract yourself, but when you release the arrow, it doesn’t even hit the target, instead landing in the hay bale to which it’s attached. You huff in frustration. “Both of you are better at this than I am, though.”

“Would you like some help?” he offers.

No, no, no, no, no. no, no, no, NO you scream internally. There’s no way he can be near you, you’ll be useless! But your mouth betrays you, shyly answering, “Sure.”

He walks up beside you and puts his hands on your shoulders (this is fine), and helps you adjust your stance.

“You don’t want to grip on the bow and arrow too hard,” he says. “Pull back on the string just like that, with your arm up like this, got it?” He checks your stance, you try to remain calm. “Alright, I’ll count down, and you can let go of the the arrow, okay?”

You nod. He counts you down, and THWIP! The arrow flies out of your hand, and you hear it connect with the target. You look in awe; you didn’t quite hit the bullseye, but the ring just outside of it. That’s better than you’ve done this whole afternoon! You laugh in excitement.

“That’s great!” Tom tells you. “Here, try another one!” You do, this time without so much of his guidance. You hit even closer.

“Oh my god, I’m actually doing pretty good!”

“Try one more, I think you might get it this time.”

You go for it, you’re having fun now. You line up the arrow, aim steady, take a deep breath, and THWIP! And… DONK! You look up and see… you hit the bullseye. Joy bubbles in you as you laugh some more, exasperated that you did it. Without thinking, you drop your bow and pull Tom in a hug, because by golly you’ve done it! You hit the bullseye! Thanks to Tom’s help! Tom, who’s… in your embrace, and is hugging you back. Shit.

“Good job!” he tells you. “You hit the bullseye!”

“Thanks for the help,” you say. “Um, you can let me go, now.”

“Oh, right.” He releases you from his embrace, a blush on both your faces.

Everyone’s moving away from the archery range now. Judging from the time of day (and the growl in your stomach) you figure it’s dinner time. Tom walks you to the mess hall, but is soon pulled away by some work friends when you both walk in.

“Sorry to leave you Kendra, but I’ll see you around, yeah?” he says.

“Yeah, thanks for helping me!” you respond. Soon after he’s lost in the mess of bodies in the the cafeteria. You look around and almost instantly find your friends (leave it to Jordan to wear all black, no matter the weather), and after you pick up your food and join them at their table.

“Sup, bitch?” they both greet you.

“Just so you know, I hate you bitches,” you say.

“Wow, hateful much?” Jordan deadpans.

“Was I not clear enough in my use of the word ‘hate?‘”

“Did you check out the archery range like we recommended?” Laura asked.

You sigh. “Yes, I did. It was fine. I got to talk to Cherisse a bit.”

“Oh, that’s cool, I haven’t gotten to talk with her much at all, really,” Jordan says before taking a bite of lasagna.

“Me neither,” says Laura.

“Did nothing else happen, though?” Jordan asks. “Because I noticed that you–”

“Don’t,” you interrupt, “finish that sentence.”

Jordan is silent for a moment. “You walked in with Tom, though!”

“Please, Cherisse already tortured me enough, and goddammit I shouldn’t have said that.” You hide your face in your hand.

“Wait, seriously?” Laura asks incredulously.

You sigh with exasperation. “Yes, okay? We were just having fun shooting arrows and then he has to walk up and be all cute and she decides to just. Leave me with him!” You look at your friends with a plea in your eyes. “Please don’t ever talk to her ever. I will not survive in this world if you ever got any more powerful.”

Your friends just share a mischievous look in their eyes.

“Goddammit.”

#submitto #submission #farrahda5hy #long post #songwriting camp

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builder051 · 7 years

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I’m just a ghost running scared (a Natasha/Bruce sickfic)

Thank you for your votes and suggestions. For the question of who you’d rather see get whumped, Bruce won, though it was a close call. (Writing his POV also saves me from having to describe the Hulk, since he doesn’t remember the episodes…)

There’s a bit of Nat anxiety in here too (thanks @plotmatsu for the tip), but it doesn’t rate as angst at all.

To the anon who suggested some teasing from Tony and Clint: Sorry, that didn’t make it into this one (it was getting longer than I wanted it to be), but I’m sold on the idea being part of my headcanon.

I’m going to add these guys (and their ship) to my repertoire for Heroverse. I’ll post an updated “What I’ll write” list when I open my askbox (soon, I promise), since I’ve been making some changes.

This is roughly canon and set before Age of Ultron. Also kind of long. And kind of a fluff monster.

_____

Since moving into the tower, Bruce has been hesitant to set foot in the gym. He went in once to walk a few miles on the treadmill, but the sight and sounds of Captain America battling a punching bag and Tony boxing with Happy at opposite ends of the large room had made him anxious. Since then, he’s taken his walks in Central Park instead.

It’s alright, since he doesn’t need to train in order to have strength in battle. And he gets plenty of time to bond with the team over pancake breakfasts and movie nights. Bruce spends most of his free time alone, either working in his lab or reading or meditating in his room. Things are quiet and predictable. And that’s how he likes them.

So when Nat knocks on his door one morning and asks if he’d like to play at capoeira with her, he has no idea why he says yes.

They warm up awkwardly, stretching and shifting foot to foot on the mat, a few yards of empty space between them. Bruce assumes Nat will tell him when she wants to really get started, but every time he sneaks a glance at her, she drops her gaze to the floor.

Is she shy? Bruce wonders. I’m shy. Black Widow can’t be shy.

“Alright, so, you know how to do this?” Nat finally asks. She stands perfectly balanced on one foot as she holds the other behind her and stretches her quad.

Bruce nods. “The basics, yeah,” He says. “But mostly from, you know, reading about it.”

“Mm.” Nat gives a sly smile. “Well, it’s a little different in practice.” She drops her foot and assumes a low stance. “Don’t worry. I’ll go easy on you.”

“What? You don’t… I can…” Bruce can barely wrap his tongue around the words. He doesn’t have a competitive spirit. He should be grateful she’s not intent on taking him down. But something makes him speak up.

“I’ll go easy on you…at first,” Nat amends. She taps her palm against the outside of her thigh, starting a slow beat. “I don’t have any music, but is this ok?”

She’s asking about the tempo. To which the answer is yes, it’s fine. The way the fabric of her leggings ripples slightly after each strike is fine too.

“Mm-hm.” Bruce nods and forces himself to look into Nat’s face.

“Good.” She keeps up the percussion and starts moving her feet in a measured pattern, swooping her torso and eventually raising her arms to chest height. Bruce mirrors her.

They move through the ginga for a few moments, until the rhythm of the steps feels natural. “Ok, ready?” Nat asks.

“Yeah.”

The word is barely out of Bruce’s mouth when Nat feints at him, causing him to scoot back several feet. His heart hammers as if he’s witnessed a jump-scare. He takes a breath and slides back to his original position, feeling stupid.

“You’ll be ok, even if you get hit,” Nat says, jabbing toward him again, this time with her elbow.

“Yeah, I know.” He’s not worried about hits, though the instinctual fear of being struck is part of what’s raising his blood pressure. He needs to calm down. “I’m more worried about you.”

Nat rolls her eyes. “I’ll be ok if you hit me.” She aims a kick at Bruce’s knee.

“Jesus Christ,” he mutters, quickly sidestepping. “That’s not what I meant. If I turn into, you know, the other guy…”

“You know this room is engineered to withstand any damage ‘the other guy’ can do, right?”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I want to transform and damage stuff.” Bruce initiates a swipe toward Nat’s knee, and she easily dodges.

“If you want to train as you, or if you want to train as him, it’s fine,” Nat says, parrying Bruce’s attack with a punch to his ribs, which lands. The impact isn’t too hard, but it still smarts.

Nat pauses, her fist still against Bruce’s side. She cocks her head. “Whatever you choose, you need to train a little harder.”

Bruce’s irritation rises toward anger. He aims a kick at Nat’s calf, barely brushing her as she leaps backward.

Breathe. Cam down, he tells himself. Don’t get mad. A halo of green shimmers around his peripheral vision.

“You can turn,” Nat says. “I’m not gonna get mad.”

Breathe. Breathe.

“I don’t fucking want to turn!” Bruce explodes.

And that does it. He swings his fist toward Nat, and he feels himself expand, bursting out of the confines of his t-shirt as pure rage fills his mind.

***

“Banner. Hey.”

Someone taps his cheek.

“Bruce?” The voice sounds familiar, but it’s filtered as if it’s coming from the end of a tunnel.

His head aches. Bruce peels his eyes open and struggles to blink away the blur that still holds tinges of green.

Shit. Where is he? What was he doing?

A face framed with red hair swims into view above him. “Hey. You ok?” Nat asks.

“Ugh,” Bruce scrubs the heel of his hand over his eyes. Sweat drips down his temples toward his ears. He wishes he could answer with a confident yes and disappear into his room, but he doesn’t trust himself to sit up yet. He hopes his gym shorts survived the transformation.

“Do you need me to get someone? Are you hurt, d’you think?” Nat clasps his shoulder.

“I’m ok,” Bruce croaks. His voice breaks with the effort. Sick clamminess creeps over his body as nausea begins to well up in his chest.

Nat still looks concerned.

“Did I do anything? Did I hurt you?” Bruce asks.

“No, no, everything’s fine,” Nat says hurriedly. “But just, are you ok? You don’t look good.”

“Well thanks.”

“I’m serious. Did it go wrong or something? You’re not supposed to be in so much pain…” Nat squeezes his arm tighter, then seems to check herself. “Sorry,” she mutters, loosening her grip.

“This is normal,” Bruce groans. He shoves himself up on one elbow and pauses for equilibrium to catch up.

It doesn’t. He’s silently grateful for Nat’s touch. It assures him the world isn’t actually tipping beneath him.

“It can’t be,” Nat says. “You look really sick. I’ve never seen you like this before…”

“That’s because—” Bruce pauses to swallow thickly. “I usually try to be alone while I, uh, recover…”

“You shouldn’t have to.”

It’s a sweet sentiment, but Bruce has to turn toward his shoulder as he quells a queasy belch.

“You really don’t look good,” Nat says, biting her lip.

“I really don’t feel good,” Bruce admits. “But it’s normal, I promise. Being the other guy takes a lot of energy. It leaves me kinda…wiped out.”

“This is just, like, low blood sugar?” She stares at him in disbelief.

Bruce nods and shrugs. “You try having every cell in your body reconfigure itself twice over…” He finally gets himself to a seated position, but vertigo still threatens to down him. He bows forward with his head between his knees. “Sorry,” he mutters.

“No, it’s no problem,” she says. “What helps it?”

“Time, I guess? Gatorade?” Bruce says to the floor.

“Something to eat, maybe?” Nat suggests.

“Eh, I don’t know.” He’s too nauseated to think about eating. Even fluids seem questionable at this point.

“Maybe some crackers? Or ginger ale? Something to settle your stomach.”

“I’m ok,” Bruce insists. “You don’t have to, like, wait on me or anything.”

“I’m not gonna leave you to suffer either,” Nat says, “Despite my reputation.”

Bruce lets out his breath.

“I’ll be right back, ok?” Nat pats his shoulder and gets to her feet.

***

The shakiness fades while Nat’s gone, but the urge to throw up doesn’t. Eventually the nausea rises into a flow of saliva over Bruce’s back teeth, and he scrambles to his feet to dash into the bathroom. The sink is closer, and the prospect of changing altitude to kneel in front of the toilet makes him feel like passing out.

Bruce gags harshly over the basin. He can’t remember how long ago he had breakfast or even what he ate. He grips the edge of the counter with white knuckles as a surge of sour bile splashes up.

“Banner?” Nat calls from the gym.

“Shit,” Bruce mutters. She probably thinks he’s up and vanished. He retches again, and the sound betrays his location.

“Oh.” There’s a crinkling sound as Nat sets her provisions on the floor, then she appears at his elbow.

Bruce cringes. “Sorry,” he breathes. She shouldn’t be here, seeing him like this. It’s gross. It’s crossing a line. “You can…go.”

“No,” Nat says. She pats him on the back. “I don’t want to leave you alone like this.”

“Like I said,” Bruce pants, spitting out strings of mucous and bile, “It’s normal. I mean, I don’t always get sick, but, you know… I can…take care of myself.”

“You can,” Nat acquiesces. “But I’m still not gonna leave.”

“Jesus Christ.” Bruce shakes his head. He ignores the reverberating pain behind his forehead and turns on the faucet. He splashes his face, and icy droplets run down his neck and bare chest.

Nat hands him a towel. “There you go,” she whispers with a sympathetic smile.

“Ah. Yeah.” Bruce isn’t sure why he doesn’t just say thanks.

“Do you want something to drink?” Nat asks. “I brought…” She gestures to what looks like half the pantry in a pile beside the door. There’s water, ginger ale, and Gatorade in three different flavors, plus a few packages of crackers.

“Not really,” Bruce says into the towel. “I mean…not yet. That’s…a lot.”

“I thought maybe you’d need to refuel.”

“Yeah, in, like a few hours maybe?” A tremor of exhaustion plays through Bruce’s arms and legs, but the queasiness hasn’t faded yet. “I’m still…ugh.” He shakes his head.

“Is there something else I can do?” Nat reaches out awkwardly.

“Naw. I should probably lie down. Then think about, like, slowly sipping some water. Balancing electrolytes.”

“I can take this stuff up to your room,” Nat offers. She bends to scoop up the bottles and boxes.

“I didn’t have you pegged for one to be so helpful,” Bruce says, abandoning the towel on the counter.

“Like I said. I don’t always live up to my reputation.”

"Yeah...” Bruce sighs vaguely.

“I’ll keep reminding you,” Nat says, swatting his arm with a bag of Goldfish crackers.

“Sure.”

***

Bruce sleeps for five hours. When he wakes, groggy and still suffering a headache, he swallows 20 ounces of Gatorade in one gulp. He reaches for his phone, hoping he hasn’t missed anything important.

He swipes away the usual news updates, then pauses when he comes to a text message.

Nat: Let me know when you’re ready to refuel. There’s a place around the corner that makes the best meatball sandwiches. I’m buying.

Bruce lets out his breath in nervous apprehension. Then he stumbles out of bed to find a shirt.

#mcu #marvel #bruce banner #hulk #the incrediable hulk #natasha romanoff #natasha romanov #black widow #avengers #fanfic #fanfiction #sickfic #emeto #emetophilia #hurt/comfort

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bunyoul-blog · 7 years

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title: 4am (I’m really hoping you will stay) pairings: xiaohee summary: All Dongyeol wanted to do was wash his shirt length: 2k extra info: based on the prompt 'you're lying on the floor of the 24/7 laundromat at 3am, it's not my fault that I stood on you' ao3 link

It’s all Jinwook’s fault.

Dongyeol comes to that conclusion pretty quickly as he leaves his dorm room at 3am, hood pulled over his head to block out the cold and his costume for the upcoming theatre production rolled up in his bag. If only his older roommate had been less enthusiastic about singing into his cup of blackcurrant squash, or taken more care to avoid tripping over his phone charger instead of dumping the contents of his cup all over Dongyeol’s costume.

With his dress rehearsal coming up in approximately eight hours, a late-night-come-early-morning trip to the laundromat was in order.

The true College experience.

Dongyeol curses Jinwook and his poor sense of balance as he makes his way quietly down the corridor, fully aware of the fact that waking anyone up- or disturbing a late night study session- would likely get him drop-kicked down the nearest staircase.

He sighs as he steps out into the cold air, the street lamps doing little to illuminate the pavement in front of him. Dongyeol thanks every higher power he can think of for the small mercy that the laundromat is little more than a five minute walk from his accomodation.

It’s eerie wandering the streets so early in the morning. Dongyeol is used to the sight of people rushing to-and-fro: the busy atmosphere of daylight. He prefers to stay indoors past 11pm to avoid the cold, so usually misses out on the sudden stillness of the early morning.

He walks a little faster.

The Laundromat appears deserted when Dongyeol arrives- of course it is, who else would get up at 3am to wash clothes- and he’s grateful for the lights that flicker on as he enters, spreading a murky sort of warmth across the room.

As he heads for one of the machines at the back of the room, Dongyeol’s foot lands on something that definitely isn’t the linoleum floor. At the same time as Dongyeol recoils, the thing he stepped on lets out a muffled noise of distaste.

The thing on the floor is a person, Dongyeol soon finds- a boy with brown hair and a sweater that looks far too big for him, lying face down on the floor of the laundromat. At 3am.

“You stood on me.” The person’s voice is muffled as he speaks, not lifting his head up from the ground.

“You’re the one lying on the floor.” Dongyeol retorts before he can stop himself. “It’s your fault.” Great, you initiated conversation. Now he has permission to fight you.

“Should’ve been looking where you were going.” Fortunately for Dongyeol, the person on the floor doesn’t seem to be in much of a mood for fighting, not moving from his position.

“I wasn’t exactly expecting a person to be lying there.” Dongyeol is tempted to poke the boy with his foot to see if he would respond or not. “Why are you even down there.”

The person shuffles in what seems to be an attempt at a horizontal version of a shrug. “I have an essay on effective vocal warm-ups due in tomorrow and I haven’t started it.” he explains. “So I came here to embrace death.”

“Why the laundromat though?” Dongyeol is invested now; glad for any form of entertainment as he takes his shirt out of his bag and throws it into the nearest machine.

“My roommate told me that I wasn’t allowed to lie on the floor because I was getting in his way, and then Wooseok told me that if I laid down in his room he would call the police.” Another horizontal shrug. “So I’m here instead.”

Dongyeol covers up a laugh as he adjusts the settings on the washing machine and lets it start cleaning the blackcurrant juice stain off his costume.

“You stepped on me so now you need to buy me food.” There’s movement from behind Dongyeol and the boy on the floor sits up. His hair is messy and there’s a red mark on his face from where it’s been pressed against the ground- he looks a little like a kicked puppy and Dongyeol almost feels bad for him.

Almost.

“I’m not buying you food.” Dongyeol is only there to wash his costume.

There’s more movement, and the person from the floor stands up. He’s a little bit shorter than Dongyeol, and his sweater is definitely a few sizes too big for him, the sleeves covering his hands so only the fingertips are visible. There’s an earring in the shape of a star hanging from one of his ears. Dongyeol refuses to call him cute.

“Please?” The person asks again, the same kicked puppy look passing across his face. Dongyeol sighs. He’s always been a dog person.

“Yeah, okay then.” At Dongyeol’s agreement, the boy grins, jumps, and hits his foot on one of the washing machines. Dongyeol doesn’t cover up the fact that he’s laughing this time. “Idiot.”

The statement earns a semi-offended pout from the boy. “My name is Hwanhee, not Idiot.”

“Okay, hi Idiot, I’m Dongyeol.” He lets his laugh upgrade to a grin as Hwanhee whines in response, kicking his foot at the edge of the washing machines again. Dongyeol can practically hear Yein berating him about talking to strangers- yet here he is doing it anyway.

They talk more- Dongyeol finds that Hwanhee is older than him by seven months, that he’s a vocal performance major (a conversation topic that branches into Hwanhee climbing on top of one of the driers and breaking out into a rendition of the Circle of Life.), and that his friend Wooseok is looking for an opportunity to sell him to Satan. Hwanhee finds that Dongyeol is younger and spends a full ten minutes lording it over him, that he’s studying theatre, and that his roomate Jinwook is Clumsy and Insufferable and Doesn’t know how to hold a cup of squash.

Dongyeol transfers his shirt to the drier, glad that the front is no longer stained and smelling of blackcurrant. Hwanhee watches him as he does so. “You didn’t tell me you have a double life as a Victorian-age vampire.” He gestures at the shirt as Dongyeol starts up the drier, pointing out the ruffles and fancy edges.

“It’s for a production I’m part of,” Dongyeol explains. “Dress rehearsal is tomorrow so Jinwook decided to pour his juice all over it while trying to hit the high notes in ‘I will always love you’.”

The drier whirrs quietly in the background, and Hwanhee takes off his shoes, finding that he can slide on the laundromat floor in his socks. Dongyeol joins him after little hesitation. Someone walks past the window, peering in at the two college students racing each other around the washing machines, shaking their head and walking on as Hwanhee waves, face scrunching up in a wide grin. The passerby steps out of view, and both collapse into a fit of laughter, Hwanhee grabbing onto Dongyeol’s arm to keep himself upright as his mismatched socks slip on the floor.

It all feels startlingly natural.

The drier finishes up with a shrill tone, surprising Dongyeol out of his dramatic retelling of the time his friend Sungjun got stuck up a climbing frame in the kids playground. As he fetches his shirt, folding it up and placing it back in his bag, Hwanhee leans over his shoulder.

“You owe me food now.” Ah. Dongyeol had forgotten about his earlier promise to apologise via offerings of food.

As good as Hwanhee’s company is, Dongyeol didn’t expect his quick trip to the laundromat to be followed up with walking around the streets at 4am, the roads deserted and the time too early even for partygoers to be walking around. More than anything, Dongyeol is tired- he wants nothing more than to sit down somewhere and maybe drink an entire bucket of coffee. A glance to his right tells him that Hwanhee is also tired, yawning loudly and reaching up to rub at his eyes with the edges of his sleeves.

The star earring swings as Hwanhee walks. Still not cute; Dongyeol reminds himself.

They find a 24 hour diner, the neon sign above the door not fully functional and the seats a little worse for wear as they drop down into them- but neither of them are complaining. There only seems to be one person working there, and she appears both tired and bored as she walks over to take their orders. Hwanhee empties a criminally large amount of sugar into his coffee once it arrives, and Dongyeol steals some of his pancakes despite having a plate of his own.

Conversation is minimal; both of them too concentrated on refueling their energy to bother with speaking. Dongyeol laments that he’s going to be dead on his feet for his rehearsal, and Hwanhee sighs, announcing that he has accepted his fate that his professor is going to violently murder him.

Dongyeol may be starting to regret his life choices. Staying up till 3am the day before a performance for an impromptu karaoke session was a bad idea in itself; but wandering around the streets at night and winding up eating pancakes in a 24 hour diner was a whole other level of poor decision making.

He glances at Hwanhee across the table, his sweater sleeves threatening to slip down his hands and fall in his golden syrup. At least he has company.

One of the diner lights flickers overhead, and a car passes by outside, its headlights reaching in through the windows like a searchlight, casting a brief patterns of shadows and highlights on Hwanhee’s face. Hwanhee- with his loud laugh, his messy hair, his star-shaped earring.

Who no longer feels like a stranger.

“We should split the cost of the food.” Dongyeol speaks up, pulling his bag onto his lap to search through it for coins. Hwanhee looks down to examine his pockets.

“I-” He glances off to the side, sheepish. “Don’t have enough money.”

Dongyeol halts his search of his bag. “And neither do I.”

They take a look at their plates, pancakes fully eaten, and the minimal selection of coins that they’ve each managed to pull out, not even reaching half the cost of their food. Another glance, towards the sole member of staff at the diner reveals that she looks half asleep- not concentrating.

“We could sneak out?” Dongyeol whispers his idea, hesitant, towards Hwanhee.

“We don’t really have any other choice, do we?” They use a pen lying in the bottom of Dongyeol’s bag to scribble a hasty ‘sorry’ on one of the napkins, then crouch down on the floor of the diner and shuffle out of their seats, deciding that the best way to avoid detection would be to crawl around the booths then out of the door, relying on the diner staff being too dead to the world to notice them leaving.

Hwanhee has a firm grip on Dongyeol’s wrist as they shuffle along the floor, turning around to press a finger against his lips in an attempt to hush the younger when he threatens to start laughing at the sight of Hwanhee nearly slipping on a biscuit wrapper. When they’re close to the door, Hwanhee starts quietly humming the mission impossible theme, and Dongyeol reaches forwards to clamp a hand over Hwanhee’s mouth to shut him up. Dongyeol can feel Hwanhee grinning against his hand, eyes scrunching up. They keep moving.

The moment they get out of the door, Dongyeol grabs onto Hwanhee and runs, sprinting down the street as the other laughs and stumbles to catch up, tripping on the pavement.

“We just broke the law,” Hwanhee speaks, breathless, once they’re far away from the diner, leaning up against a lamppost to catch his breath. “We’re partners in crime now.”

All Dongyeol came out to do was wash his shirt.

The time on Dongyeol’s phone reads 4:23am, and the coffee is only just taking the edge off his tiredness. Hwanhee yawns next to him, stretching his arms into the air and announcing, “I should go home now.” He digs around in his pockets, evidently searching for his keys.

“I should head back too,” Dongyeol responds. “If I don’t get back, Jinwook will-”

“I didn’t bring my keys with me.” Hwanhee cuts him off, voice filled with a sense of dread that is honestly far too dramatic for the situation. “I can’t get back to my dorm.”

Dongyeol expects Hwanhee to pull out his phone and maybe call his roommate, or ask a friend if he can sleep at their dorm. What he doesn’t expect Hwanhee to do is sit down on the pavement and burst into tears.

Truthfully, Dongyeol is more taken aback than anything else. One moment Hwanhee is laughing and kicking at an empty soda can on the ground, and the next he’s sitting in the middle of the street, sweater sleeves pressed against his face and his breath coming out in hiccups.

Dongyeol doesn’t know what to do, so naturally he calls Yein.

He knows Yein probably won’t be too happy about it- his mom friend duties only apply from 7am till 10pm- but Dongyeol is desperate.

The phone rings once, twice, then Yein picks up, voice sounding sleepy and confused. “Dongyeol it’s 4am.”

“I have an issue.” Hwanhee is still crying next to him, saying something about how he’s never going to get home again, and a car drives past, the driver giving them both strange looks as they pass by.

“Was that a car? Are you outside?” The worry kicks into Yein’s voice. “Dongyeol why are you outside right now? Are you okay?”

“What do you do when a human version of a puppy who you’ve known for approximately 2 hours sits down on the pavement and starts crying because he can’t find his keys.” Dongyeol already realises how ridiculous the situation is, but it sounds even worse when put into words.

There’s silence from Yein’s end of the line, then an exhausted sounding “It’s too early for this.” before he hangs up.

And so Dongyeol is on his own with this one.

“Hey Hwanhee, you can sleep at my dorm for tonight if you want?” Dongyeol crouches next to Hwanhee, placing a hand on his shoulder in what he hopes is a comforting manner. The other boy looks up from between his fingers. His eyes are red, and he looks tired, tears smudged down his cheeks, catching the light from the overhead streetlamps slightly.

There’s a small nod from Hwanhee, then he pulls himself to his feet, rubbing at his eyes with the corners of his sleeves. “Could I?”

“Well I wouldn’t have asked you if I wasn’t okay with it.” Dongyeol laughs, poking Hwanhee’s shoulder. He leads Hwanhee in the direction of his dorm, back along the deserted streets and past the laundromat, its lights turned off once again. Once again; he can feel Yein berating him for talking to strangers.

This is what happens when I’m left to make my own decisions. Dongyeol muses to himself, glancing across at Hwanhee, who looks like he’s about to fall asleep where he stands. What harm could he do anyway.

They enter the dorm quietly, making their way up to Dongyeol’s room with light footsteps so as not to wake anyone. Jinwook is asleep on his own bed, half buried in his duvet, and Dongyeol turns to Hwanhee to signal for him to be as quiet as possible. In his half asleep state, Hwanhee mimes zipping his lips closed and throwing away a key.

“There’s nowhere to sleep except for my bed,” Dongyeol whispers. “I hope you don’t mind sharing.”

In response, Hwanhee kicks his shoes off and sits down heavily on the edge of the bed, shuffling over to the side closest to the wall and curling up to leave room for Dongyeol. He’s asleep by the time the younger joins him. Dongyeol lies down and closes his eyes, hoping to make the most of the two hours sleep he has time for. An arm lands on top of Dongyeol’s stomach, and he soon finds a sleeping Hwanhee crowded into his personal space.

Of course he’s a sleep-cuddler.

Dongyeol sighs, turns over and attempts to fall asleep. Hwanhee can be a problem for his future self to deal with.

“Dongyeol, why is there a boy in your bed with you?” Dongyeol wakes up to Jinwook standing over him and Hwanhee’s face lost somewhere in the spot between his neck and his shoulder.

“I found him at the laundromat last night and now we’re partners in crime.” Dongyeol explains sleepily, waving his hand as if to shoo his roommate away. Jinwook is silent for a while, before speaking.

“Does he want breakfast?”

“I don’t know,” In response, Dongyeol shrugs and rolls over to face Hwanhee. He’s still asleep- his hair has somehow become even more messy overnight and he’s drooling on Dongyeol’s pillow a little bit. He wrinkles his nose up and makes a small noise of distaste as Dongyeol pokes him in the cheek to wake him. Still not cute. “Do you want breakfast?”

“Yeah.” Hwanhee untangles himself from Dongyeol and sits up, stretching and yawning loudly. “Maybe not pancakes though.”

One successful dress-rehearsal later, Dongyeol receives a text from an unknown number.

[unknown]

i ate wooseok’s cereal and now he’s trying to kill me

please help

this is hwanhee btw

i got your number from your roommate

hope you don’t mind

anyway i fear for my life please help

Save contact as [puppy] ?

[dongyeol]

you remember where my dorm is right?

#up10tion #xiaohee #hwanhee #xiao #this is a mess #i wrote it in the space of 3 days #why do i only get motivation for stupid stuff #writing #long post

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sciencespies · 5 years

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These 5 tips from psychologists will help you cope when climate change gets you down

https://sciencespies.com/humans/these-5-tips-from-psychologists-will-help-you-cope-when-climate-change-gets-you-down/

These 5 tips from psychologists will help you cope when climate change gets you down

Between news of devastating natural disasters, horrifying scientific predictions, and the infuriating lack of political will to do anything about it all, it seems we can’t catch a collective breath at the moment. Some days, news about the climate crisis feels like a heavy weight on my chest. And I’m not alone.

Some of us are becoming increasingly overwhelmed, including the scientists who have been working so hard on these problems.

“We are seeing a wide range of responses, including signs of anxiety, depression, anger, guilt (ruminating, feeling overly-responsible for the problem),” New York climate psychologist Wendy Greenspun told me.

A 2018 study in Nature Climate Change stressed that these reactions are an entirely rational and legitimate response to the mess we’ve found ourselves in.

Things are on track to get worse, which is all the more reason to find a way to cope with these emotions, so we can face the challenges to come. Not least because I wanted to soothe my own anxious mind, I dug into the advice psychologists have to offer.

Here are their best tips on how we can cope when news about the climate emergency becomes just a bit too much.

1. Look after yourself

Greenspun says that along with the more obvious feelings of distress and changes in emotional levels, signs that climate news is having a negative effect could also include things like an inability to stop seeking out more and more climate news (something I certainly recognise!) or avoiding the information entirely.

“People should pay attention to their emotional state in the wake of reading and seeing climate news,” Greenspun advises. “Self-awareness might help someone recognise when they need to discuss their emotions with another person or to take a break.”

Coping with Climate Change Distress, a guide by the Australian Psychological Society and colleagues, stresses the importance of self-care, such as maintaining regular routines, and taking time out to exercise, meditate, relax and do fun things that make you feel good.

“Keeping up with a constant stream of information doesn’t actually solve the climate change problem,” the guide states. “And it takes a huge psychological toll to be constantly exposing yourself to this chronic, intangible, global environmental stressor.”

Psychologist Carol Ride, founder of Psychology for a Safe Climate, told me it’s important to set boundaries on how much we do engage with this issue – tactics such as not reading about climate change at night can be helpful.

“Each individual needs to figure out how much they can face and what will allow them to stay aware without causing so much distress that they shut down,” Greenspun says.

“Taking breaks from the news instead of constantly reading may be a way to stay connected without shutting down too much – being with people you love and who care for you, being in nature, or anything else that can bring joy and emotional refuelling.”

2. Make connections

One of the most effective ways for facing feelings of powerlessness and helplessness is to seek out other people.

“Connecting with others for support and to not feel alone may be one of the most important ways to manage distress,” Greenspun advises. “Social support is one of the best predictors of coping with any kind of stress.”

As Psychology for a Safe Climate emphasises in one of its publications, when we provide support, security and understanding for each other, we can become better equipped to deal with uncertainty and change. Having conversations with a thoughtful, engaged listener is a well established method for helping people with depression and anxiety.

“Being heard and hearing similar concerns from others helps legitimise our feelings and can mobilise energy to engage with the issue and action,” says Ride.

3. Take action

Over 171 Swedish psychologists and psychotherapists agree that striking for the climate is a healthy and constructive response for the students who are feeling concerned about the climate emergency.

Before I started school striking I had no energy, no friends and I didn’t speak to anyone. I just sat alone at home, with an eating disorder. All of that is gone now, since I have found a meaning, in a world that sometimes seems shallow and meaningless to so many people.

— Greta Thunberg (@GretaThunberg) August 31, 2019

Just like Greta Thunberg, I have also found some relief in activism and will be marching with the students today.

“Taking meaningful action can combat feeling helpless,” Greenspun explains. “People who get involved with climate activism and become part of a community working together fare better than some climate scientists who don’t discuss their emotional reactions with their colleagues.”

But if protesting is outside your comfort zone, taking action can take many forms, including things like financial divestment or simply talking to other people about climate change.

“The ability to reflect, think aloud and share stories is how we as humans are wired to learn, change and grow – not as individuals, but as communities,” Lertzman wrote for the United Nations Association.

4. Focus on what you can do

Amongst lists of countless individual actions and online voices guilting us for not being ‘eco’ enough, trying to work out how to take action can be confusing in itself. This type of thinking can lead to shame, which can be paralysing.

The reality is we still have to function and survive within the system and circumstances we have, even while trying to change them. With just 100 companies responsible for the staggering majority of CO2 output and the need to make large systemic changes to the way our society works, this is not something any single one of us can do alone.

As climate activist Mary Annaise Heglar wrote: “I don’t care how green you are. I want you in the movement for climate justice. I don’t care how long you’ve been engaged in the climate conversation… I don’t even care if you work on an oil rig. All I need you to do is want a livable future.”

Coping with Climate Distress recommends avoiding harsh judgements about what we can’t do. Having compassion for ourselves and others is a key way of dealing with feelings of guilt and shame, according to the Climate Psychology Alliance.

“[Try] focusing on actions and behaviours you can control and not spending as much time on those experiences over which you have no control,” said Greenspun.

5. Seek courage

There is no doubt that one way or another our societies will be changed by the climate impact, but no one actually knows what that’s going to look like. Fear of this unknown has swung some people towards the extremes of nihilism and led to a debate in the media about hope versus doom.

I have have certainly struggled with these feelings as I’ve researched climate change over the last decade in one capacity or another. I remember finding great relief when I read these words from The Guardian’s journalist George Monbiot: “To be at peace with a troubled world: this is not a reasonable aim.”

“It is important to be aware of and accept how we feel even if they are feelings of despair. Trying to fight our feelings takes a lot of energy,” advises Ride.

Lertzman believes the choice between hope and doom is a false dichotomy and that there is a space we can occupy inbetween these extremes.

Others suggest hope doesn’t necessarily require optimism. Radical hope involves letting go of what we once thought the future would be and building the courage to face uncertainty, so we can focus on what we need to do to adapt to the future we’re now facing.

“We may need to mourn over losses in the ecosystem and to our lives as we know them now as a part of figuring out how to find meaning in all that we face,” says Greenspun. “It’s helpful to counterbalance negative information with stories of courage and positive change.”

If this story has raised concerns or you need to talk to someone, here’s a list where you may be able to find a crisis hotline in your country.

This article is part of ScienceAlert’s special climate edition, published in support of the global #ClimateStrike on 20 September 2019.

#Humans

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blogsmog · 5 years

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What 23 Means

Another 365 Days. Another trip around the sun. Another birthday that somehow quickly snuck up on me. Year 23 was different for many reasons and all too well for others. As I look back on this past year of my life, it’s important for me to reflect on what took place during my “Jordan Year.” So, here is what 23 means to me:

23 means loving the endless nights with the ones who you love. The nights where you feel like you will be 23 forever. The nights where you stay up until the wee hours of the morning. But 23 also means no more sleeping in even when you try your hardest…and you know what that means; paying for those nights out. It also means hard work. It means constantly having to prove to yourself and others that you have what it takes. That you’re not just a “Millennial.” That you’ve worked hard for everything that you have. Long days and long nights, but you know that in the end, hard work pays off. But 23 also means, sheepishly admitting to yourself that the childhood days were easier. And sometimes you just don’t have it all figured out yet.

23 means fully embracing the good days and learning from the bad days. It means letting yourself feel what you feel. And it means that your mental health is important. Negative energy is no longer needed nor do you have time to waste with it. It means that sometimes a night in and catching up on your favorite Netflix shows are okay. Or podcasts. Or books. Or naps. It means that refueling and taking a break from others is necessary.

23 means finding stability in your faith. And it’s a different kind of faith. It’s stronger than ever. You’re older and you realize it doesn’t mean everything that was embedded in your head as a child. “Live more like Jesus,” comes to your head more often. And that means to love. Love people of color. Love people who love the same sex. Love the atheist. Love the muslims. Love the Buddhists. Love the drug-addicts. Love the sinners. . . .because you too are one. And you’ve realized that it isn’t about being perfect. It isn’t about telling others if they are going to Heaven or Hell. It isn’t about who is who at the Church. It isn’t about knowing every single line in the Bible. It’s about love. And living like Jesus.

23 means becoming more of your own person. But you’re good at that. You’ve been doing that for a while now. But this time it’s different. You’re paying the bills. . . even the big one. . . the mortgage. That means learning to budget. . and failing at it. . .and then re-learning to budget. It means finally admitting to yourself that it is indeed cheaper to just go to the grocery store than eating Chick-Fil-A every other night. It means getting used to being alone and doing the majority of things alone.

23 means that it is completely okay to change your thoughts, opinions, and mindset on certain issues. You may have thought a certain way in the past, but you’re now embracing education and feeling more comfortable with your stance. That’s not being fake- it’s being grown.

23 means getting away from all the noise. You work and you work and you work. Maybe it’s because you take pride in your career and success. After all, you have craved it ever since you were a child. But you’ve learned that it’s okay to spend a weekend off or to say no to that email after-hours. You cannot keep taking on tasks when you’re over-worked. It also means that unplugging is necessary. You once were obsessed with social media, spending endless hours on all the platforms. Now, it’s just for your career and you’ve learned that not everyone needs to see your personal life at all times. Some moments are just for you to enjoy. You’ve also realized that 90% of social media is fiction. Those filters don’t cover up your flaws. That selfie wasn’t a one-take shot, and that caption took way to much time out of your day.

23 means learning to love. And that even includes the ones who hurt you. You know it’s so much easier said than done. You also know that your natural reaction is to put up the wall that you built when you were just a kid. The wall that is incredibly strong from past burdens. But you also know that it’s freeing and your heart feels better when you just love. When you forgive. . . .and you don’t forget, but you move past it. 23 means learning to show your love towards your family. And even though those three words make you uncomfortable, you know they mean so much to others- even if it just comes out as, “love ya.” 23 is also learning to love yourself. You’re doing the best that you can do. You know what’s healthy and what isn’t. You know your flaws. You know that comparison is the thief of joy.

23 means realizing that your quirks and niches are what makes you, you. It means finally accepting that perhaps you aren’t the most masculine human-being, but you know that isn’t what makes you a man. And you don’t care much for sports, but that doesn’t make you less of a conversationist. Your ability to love is what makes you so great and you have finally realized that during year 23. Because in the end we all may act a certain way and we may talk a certain way and we may believe a certain way. . . but we all just want to be loved.

23 means gratitude. There’s a reason you are in the place that you are in today. It means taking the time to thank all of those who have helped a long the way. And you know that in this crazy world, we all could use a little bit more of thanks and appreciation.

Some say that your twenties are chaotic and happy. Or as Taylor Swift says, “It’s miserable and magical at the same time.” In year 23, you realize that statement is completely true. You’re embracing your twenties and loving it because for once you feel very in control of your life. This is something that you have prayed for ever since you were 15. And as you write this on your last night of being 23, you cannot help but feel proud of yourself. You’ve made it this far... and there’s still so much more left. So, here’s to the year of being 24.

You tell yourself that you will figure it out when you’re 24, but who are you kidding? We know nobody has it figured all out.

-Taylor

Image taken by Laken Evans Photography.

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guitarpanda8 · 5 years

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A Week of Eating with Haile Thomas, the Teen Vegan Sensation and Founder of HAPPY

Meet Haile Thomas, the 18-year-old health activist, vegan food & lifestyle influencer, and the founder/CEO of the nonprofit HAPPY (aka, Healthy Active Positive Purposeful Youth). Michelle Obama has said that “Haile is an example for all of you, what your little powerful voices can do to change the world.”

Read on to see what the teen vegan powerhouse eats in a typical week.

MONDAY

Starting Monday off on the right foot is always my #1 priority, because we all know how easy it is to fall into the “I miss the weekend!!” trap. In the morning, I’ll usually have some kind of warm drink since it’s typically pretty chilly (I’m talking 30 degrees or lower) during this time of year. I like to alternate between the biggest hug, a mug of super rich and creamy coconut matcha, golden milk, and lemon ginger or peppermint tea.

During my teatime, I really enjoy being away from my phone and doing some gratitude/intention journaling or just gazing out the window indulging in my obsession with clouds! That always starts my day on such a peaceful and positive note, and I can move onto emails or project planning with a clear and ready mind. Mondays are often my day just to catch up and get back into the groove of anything I was working on the week before. I almost never schedule meetings on this day because I want to ensure I can be fully dedicated to getting back into work mode.

Monday lunches are all about replenishing the energy I’ve used up in the morning and continuing the momentum. And because I’m an entrepreneur who works from home, I have the absolute joy of just getting up and heading over to my kitchen to make anything I’d like! Lunchtime also provides a much-needed mental break from any of the work I was focused on, which is so great. My go-to is a quick lively bowl with some greens, roasted veggies, quinoa, and either a tahini- or cashew-based dressing. These kinds of lunches leave me dancing, happy and rejuvenated! I’ll usually photograph what I eat to post on Instagram later in the week.

TUESDAY

Tuesdays are normally the start of meetings, interviews or recipe testing for the week. When I’m really busy and have video shoots, or I’m working on content for some of the awesome brands I get to work with, I try to make my meals ridiculously easy. I start the morning off with some homemade granola (Golden Milk Granola is my fave!), a little bit of oat milk and fresh fruit. It takes me like 5 seconds to put everything together in a bowl and head to my desk to start working for the day.

On busy days like this, I tend to rely on snacks more than anything as I don’t want to interrupt my concentration or schedule too much — sunflower seed pesto with fresh veggies, or avocado toast loaded with mushrooms, pickled onions and some tangy artisan vegan cheese are definitely go-tos.

My mom, sister and I tend to alternate the responsibility of cooking dinner throughout the week. If I’m still working around 4:30/5pm, my mom will start making one of her classics, like Jamaican Escovitch Tofu or Oyster Mushroom Curry with coconut rice. There’s literally nothing better than the sizzle of a skillet and the smell of rich, cultural spices wafting through the air. And when it’s time to eat? Her food is literally the definition of comfort, filling up my belly and spirit. Any day my mom cooks is my favorite day.

WEDNESDAY

When it’s super cold out or snowing and you live in a small town in upstate New York, heading to a yoga class or the gym isn’t really an option. Instead, I love using apps to get some movement in at home. I try to do this at least four times a week, because when I do, I can really feel the difference in my energy and mood! Getting my heart pumping always leaves me feeling physically, but even more so, mentally refreshed.

I have a bit more pep in my step as I start the day. My refuel varies from veggie tofu scrambles with lots of cheesy nutritional yeast to really fun and creative oats. Both are super customizable so it is never really the same experience each time I eat them. For the tofu scramble, I like adding shiitake mushrooms, colorful heirloom cherry tomatoes, onions and parsley, with my one true love, avocado, on top! For my oats, I really go wild with the combos because I believe oatmeal should never be boring…so you can catch pumpkin, sweet potato, almond butter, berries, candied pecans, orange zest, and more in my oatmeal.

Because it’s the middle of the week, I love spicing up my schedule to re-energize. If I’m not already traveling or working on a cool project, I like to go on cute mini adventures during lunch. Some of my favorite things to do include: visiting a u-pick farm or a new vegan restaurant for inspiration, going for a stroll and taking photos at an art park like Storm King, or heading to open skate at our local rink. It just adds a nice break in the part of my work that can be heavily screen based.

THURSDAY

If you can’t tell by now, diversity within my week is super important to me…or else I’ll go a little crazy! It keeps me inspired and energized. Thursdays start with some reading. I’m doing a 50-book challenge this year and aim to get in an hour or two of reading before I start the day! It’s so peaceful and fun for me to dive into a whole other world or a really interesting topic for a few hours before I dive into mine.

A little later, I start filming some videos for a course I’m working on for my nonprofit, HAPPY. This takes up most of my time during the day because there’s limited daylight, but it’s a lot of fun working on planning and production and then finally putting everything together when I shoot!

Dinner is a lovely, spicy, incredibly flavorful vindaloo using Beyond Meat’s sausage as a protein. With its incredible texture and flavor, this sausage is one of my favorite vegan products to experiment with from time to time.

FRIDAY

Fridays are my day for planning content for the week ahead. I make a list of all the recipes I’d like to share and photos I want to take for my Instagram. Then I double check my fridge and pantry for ingredients and map out what I’ll need to do for lifestyle shots. And because I am currently working on a book (!!!), I majorly prioritize writing at the end of the week and usually split my time pretty evenly between both activities. I like Friday to be just a really chill and reflective day, so I don’t usually schedule any meetings either. As I’m in the zone planning and writing, I love having something hearty to power me through — like roasted purple potato wedges with mashed avocado to dip in!

In the evening, I wind down work a little early and watch a documentary (I’m also doing a 100-documentary challenge this year!) or read some more with the fireplace crackling, some lo-fi music playing softly in the background, and my whole body wrapped like a burrito in the coziest fluffy blanket. This is the best time for hot cocoa and coconut whip!

SATURDAY

Saturday breakfasts are always kind of fancy — and I love it. My family and I go all out, making crepes, pancakes, tofu Benedict, or whatever we’re really craving at the moment. It’s so much fun spending time with each other in the kitchen, laughing, talking about anything, and combining our creative powers to make the best breakfast. We’ll set the table, bust out the apple juice from our local farm, and dig in — all smiles style.

The rest of the day is mainly spent working on the content I planned on Friday, so most of our weekend lunches and dinners end up being Instagram recipes!

Saturday nights are my favorite. This is when I really get to indulge in some self-care. I’ll throw on a face mask, deep condition my hair, take a magnesium soak, and binge watch Nailed It! or Worst Cooks in America. It’s honestly the best.

SUNDAY

Sundays are my day for more R&R but also for preparing for the week ahead. I’ll start the day off by setting intentions and goals for the new week. When Monday comes around, I’m more focused and work with a clearer sense of purpose. Then it’s time to head to the farmers’ market! Whenever I’m in town, I try my best to make it there. Then I can shop locally for everything I need for the next few days or any special recipes I’m developing.

The farmers’ market is always an adventure. Often I’ll find really amazing ingredients, such as Hen of the Woods mushrooms, sea beans or watermelon radishes, that aren’t normally available at my regular grocery store. There’s a lovely Indian food vendor who makes the best chickpea yellow curry with idli, so I always grab a container of their food for lunch before heading back home with my veggies and other fun stuff from the market!

The rest of the day I spend with family. We watch movies, do DIY projects, and have a pretty fun and sometimes pretty intense game night at our house that I always look forward to. It’s these moments that make the weekend so sweet.

Source: https://blog.williams-sonoma.com/a-week-of-eating-with-haile-thomas-the-teen-vegan-sensation-and-founder-of-happy/

#read more #see more #check it out #interesting #learn more

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shannrussell-blog1 · 5 years

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So, you’ve decided to finally bite the bullet and start training and planning for a huge multi-day hike. Whether it’s Larapinta, Bibbulman, or the Overland track – one thing you need to start thinking about is the kind of food you’ll need to fuel your body for the entire journey.

How much weight should I allow for food each day?

You should allow for approximately 700g – 1kg on average of food per day, depending on how much you know your body will need. It’s also a good idea to bring extra food in case you need it – an extra meal plus snacks should do the trick, just in case you have to spend an extra night on the trail.

Where can I get lightweight hiking food?

Meal prep for hiking is as easy as jumping in the car and heading down to your local shops, so you won’t need to stray far to get mostly everything you need. You can buy all your condiments, snacks, breakfast, lunch and dinners from the supermarket, and then for more specialised items like freeze dried meals – head to your favourite online camping or hiking store.

Here’s what approximately a day’s worth of food might look like.

How should I pack my meals?

The best way to go about it is to do a little bit of food prep and planning in the week or days leading up to your trip (the night before is not a good idea!). Remove all excess packaging that you don’t need to bring with you, as that will just weigh you down, and take up valuable space in your pack. Ziplock bags are perfect for hiking, as they form a tight seal that won’t leak, they’re super lightweight, and they’ll keep your meals fresh.

Pre-mix your meals e.g. put your muesli, powdered milk, and dried fruit together- and label each bag carefully with the day number, meal, and even what’s in it (you’d be surprised at how similar food can look in low light conditions) so you know exactly what it is, and when you’re going to eat it.

You can also separate your meals into different bags in your pack, as that might make it easier rather than sorting through lunch and dinners looking for your morning brekkie.

Ziplock bags are a lightweight, and easy way to pack your meals and keep them fresh.

Breakfast

Depending on your schedule you may want to cook something that involves the least amount of prep time as possible such as a muesli or power bar, or you might want to put something warm in your belly to start the day – especially on a chilly morning!

Instant oatmeal with some honey, fruit or nuts added is a solid choice that’s a good start to a long day of hiking. If you’re set on a cooked breakfast, you could bring instant pancake mix, so all you have to do is add water and shake and you’ll be on your way to a hot breakfast on the trail.

Don’t forget a cup of tea or coffee as well to get you going!

Food ideas for breakfast

Instant Oatmeal

Muesli

Cereals

Powdered milk

Pre-made pancake mix

Muesli, protein or

Protein and carbs are just what you need after a long day of trekking.

Dinner

If you’re more of a gourmet eater, you might prefer preparing your own meals on the trail. If you pack staple carbs such as instant rice, pasta, couscous or noodles, and then add some protein, dried vegetables, and sauces or spices – you’ll have a pretty tasty meal that will provide you with the protein, carbohydrates and fats you need after a long day of exertion.

You do want to provide yourself with options, as the same meal 7 nights in a row will get pretty tiresome. When coming up with your hiking menu, also check how long it will take to cook certain foods as the longer the cook time – the more fuel you’ll have to bring.

For example, something like quinoa might not be the best food to take on a hike, as it takes around 15 minutes to cook – which isn’t the best use of your precious fuel.

Food ideas for hiking dinners

Fast cooking rice

Pasta

Couscous

Noodles

Tuna, salmon, or sardines in a packet (not a tin)

Jerky, salami, or other dried meat

Cheese such as gouda or cheddar

Lentils

Dried vegetables

Instant mash potato

Dinner can be as simple as adding a sauce to pasta, or you can get a little more creative.

Freeze dried meals

If you know that you’ll be a complete zombie after an intensely long day of hiking, then you might want to consider bringing freeze dried pre-packaged meals.

Freeze dried meals are a great option as they’re lightweight, involve very little preparation, and come in an array of different options from

All you have to do is boil water, add it to the pack, let it stand for 10 minutes, and the meal is ready to eat. They do end up costing a little more than if you prepared it yourself, but for some, it’s well worth it for the convenience alone.

It can be difficult to guess how much water to add to your freeze dried foods, so a good tip is to take a drink bottle with measurements on the side, so you don’t go overboard and end up with watery food. If you’re eating straight from the packet, it’s also useful to take a longer spoon or fork to stir with – that way your hands won’t get grubby in the packet.

Serving wise, if you normally have a big appetite, then definitely go for a double size – you’ll be starving after hours of trekking and you don’t want to go to bed hungry. Freeze dried meals also come in

Freeze dried meals are a convenient and lightweight menu choice that makes food planning a little easier.

Dehydrate your own food

If you prefer for your ingredients to have as little preservatives and additives as possible, then dehydrating your own fruits and vegetables may be right up your alley.

Dehydrating food is cheaper than buying freeze dried meals and it’s a great option for when you want to add more texture and flavour to starchy meals, but it’ll involve a little more effort on your part.

Dehydrating reduces the volume and weight, but it requires a little extra water and time to rehydrate. Plus it has the tendency to be a little more on the chewy side once rehydrated – so that’s something to keep in mind.

Snacks

Regularly refuelling your body as you hike is very important to keep your energy levels up, and to also treat yourself when you take a break from the trek. It’s best to keep snacks in an accessible area, like the hip belt or side pockets of your pack so you don’t have to sort through your pack to find them.

Snacks to bring on the trail

Dried fruit, or fruit leather

Nuts and seeds

Chocolate

Nut butters

Muesli bars, protein bars,

Instant pudding

Powdered custard

Lollies

Grazing throughout the hike is important to make sure that you don’t deplete your energy levels.

Condiments and spices

Whilst almost anything will taste great when you’re that tired after a long day, you’ll be patting yourself on the back later for bringing along various condiments and spices to make your evening meal as delicious as possible.

Bring along a selection of your favourites, so you don’t get too tired of the same basic meal each day. If you’re pre-packaging each meal into a ziplock bag, you can add it straight in, or carry it separately if you’d prefer to add to taste as you go.

Condiments and spices to pack

Curry powder

Tomato paste

Garlic and onion flakes

Capers

Olives

Sun-dried tomatoes

Parmesan cheese

Chili flakes

Jam

Honey, rice or malt syrup

Packet sauces

Powdered sauces

Hummus

Tahini

Sauces

Salt and pepper

Beverages

If you’re a serious caffeine fiend, then you’re probably rather attached to your coffee machine at home. If the thought of granulated coffee touching your lips sends involuntary shivers up your spine, then perhaps a lightweight espresso maker made just for hiking, may be worth an extra 200-300g in your pack.

Not everyone is fussed about taste, so if this is you – then just pack plenty of tea bags and granulated coffee for your early morning caffeine kick.

During the day, a smoothie or hydration drink is nice to break up the monotony of plain water now and again, and in the evenings a sachet of hot chocolate or Milo can go down a treat on a chilly evening before bed.

Beverages to take

Instant coffee

Powdered milk

Tea bags

Freeze dried or powdered smoothies

Hot chocolate sachets / Milo

Take along several different drinks to mix it up, as it’s important to stay motivated to drink fluids on the trail.

Top 5 meal planning tips for multi-day hikes

Make sure you give some of the recipes you’re planning a test run before you go. This way you’ll know what meals you’re going to enjoy and get the most out of on the trail.

Variety is very important for longer trips. This helps to keep you motivated to fuel your body for the entire trek.

If you want to be super organised, use a spreadsheet to record your food (and gear). This way you can weigh and add up the total weight and also how much energy you’ll get per day.

If you’re a big eater, try to find ways to cut down on weight in other areas of your pack so that you can take more food with you.

Pack some food that doesn’t have to be cooked in your stove breaks or you run out of fuel.

Do you have any excellent tips for packing your food like a pro? Let us know in the comments below.

The post Food Planning Tips for a Multi-Day Hike appeared first on Snowys Blog.

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j0sgomez-blog · 5 years

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By Michael Lanza

Staying warm while Nordic, downhill, or backcountry skiing, snowshoeing, or hiking in winter is a constant challenge: We sweat, our clothes get damp, then we get cold. But as humans have known for thousands of years, it’s a matter of smartly managing and insulating our body’s furnace (and today we have much better technical clothing than animal skins). As someone who runs hot when moving, cools off quickly, and gets cold fingers and toes easily, I’ve learned many tricks over nearly four decades of getting out in the backcountry in frigid temperatures. Follow these tips and you will be vastly more comfortable outdoors in winter.

Backcountry skiing in Idaho’s Boise Mountains.

Move

Clothing only helps trap heat; your body is what keeps you warm. Anytime you get cold, the single best strategy for rewarming is to start moving or increase your pace. Watch others in your group for signs that they’re cold, especially children, who have less body fat and mass and cool off more quickly than adults. When you take a break, make it short, to avoid cooling off. If someone has visibly cooled off faster than others during a break, have that person start moving ahead of the group; you will regroup before long.

Be smart about winter. See my expert tips in “How to Dress in Layers for Winter in the Backcountry.”

Pace Yourself

Minimizing how much you perspire in cold temperatures is critical to keeping warm, because wet clothing conducts heat away from your body. Try to set a pace that keeps you warm without causing you to overheat and perspire heavily. I try to strike a balance between producing enough heat to keep my toes and fingers warm without sweating copiously in my core; generally, that pace has me breathing heavily but not panting.

If sweating is unavoidable on a long, strenuous ascent, then as you get within about 0 minutes of the top, slow down a bit, to a pace at which you stop or reduce your sweating but still generate enough body heat to dry your base layers. When camping in winter, I do that about 0 minutes before stopping to camp.

What touches your skin matters. See my picks for the best base layers for any season.

Nordic skiing in the Boise Mountains, Idaho.

Adjust Layers

Sometimes, whether climbing uphill on backcountry skis or snowshoes or in high-exertion activities like running or Nordic skiing, it’s impossible to avoid sweating, so adjust your clothing layers. For example, if there’s no wind and you’re exerting hard, you may only need a breathable insulation layer (like fleece) over a fast-drying, wicking base layer. If it’s windy, you may want a waterproof-breathable hard shell over a midweight insulation layer, like a fleece or a vest, to prevent you from cooling down.

For a high-exertion, high-speed activity like Nordic skiing, where your motion creates wind against your body, or a moderate-level activity like snowshoeing, wear a somewhat windproof and more breathable soft shell or a jacket with breathable insulation, to prevent excessive sweating and move moisture off your base layer more quickly.

Find the right outer layer for your purposes and you may only have to adjust layers infrequently. I’ve reviewed several pieces of apparel at this blog that perform that well, including these:

Arc’teryx Atom SL Hoody (read my review) Outdoor Research Deviator Hoody (read my review) Patagonia Nano-Air Light Hybrid Jacket (read my review) Outdoor Research Ascendant Hoody men’s and women’s (read my review) The North Face ThermoBall Active Jacket (read my review) Outdoor Research Skyward Jacket (read my review)

Build a perfect layering system with “The Best Clothing Layers for Winter in the Backcountry.”

Hi, I’m Michael Lanza, creator of The Big Outside, which has made several top outdoors blog lists. Click here to sign up for my FREE email newsletter. Subscribe now to get full access to all of my blog’s stories. Click here to learn how I can help you plan your next trip. Please follow my adventures on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Youtube.

Eat More

Your body needs more fuel in freezing temperatures to keep your internal furnace burning. Eat high-fat snacks like chocolate, cheese, and nuts, because fat is a slow-burning fuel that keeps your body going for the long haul, which becomes even more important in the cold. Keep snacks handy so you can refuel frequently; feeling a chill or fatigue is often an indicator that your body needs food. If you eat energy bars for convenience (especially when wearing gloves), choose ones that pack plenty of protein and calories.

Drink Up

In cold, dry conditions typical of winter, you become dehydrated more quickly than you realize, even if you’re not sweating much. Drink frequently. Carry a thermos with a hot drink. Add sugar to it (for quick energy) or a little dollop of butter for flavor and fat.

You live for the outdoors. The Big Outside helps you get out there. Get full access to ALL stories by subscribing now!

My son, Nate, skiing the Grand Canyon of the Yellowstone River, Yellowstone National Park.

Don’t Freeze Your Water

I use a hydration bladder in temps down into the 0s Fahrenheit without the hose or mouthpiece freezing—if I keep the pack on my body (which helps warm the hose, especially when it’s running through a tunnel in a shoulder strap of my pack, a design feature of many packs made for winter activities). I also make a point of blowing back into the hose after each time I drink, to clear water from the mouthpiece and hose, which are more likely to freeze up quickly.

But in colder temps, the hose will likely freeze, so use wide-mouth water bottles instead. Store the bottles in an insulated sleeve inside your pack, upside-down, so that when you hold them upright to drink from them, any ice that has formed will be at the bottom of the bottle. When camping in freezing temps, don’t leave a water bottle out or it might freeze solid (and take a long time to thaw). Either empty your bottles, or preferably, fill them with hot water and put them inside your sleeping bag as heaters.

Buy smart. Read my “ Tips For Spending Less on Hiking and Backpacking Gear.”

Get the right gloves. Click photo to see my “Review: The Best Gloves For Winter.”

Carry Spare Gloves

Do your fingers get cold easily, then become difficult to rewarm? (Mine do.) Carry two pairs of gloves, keeping the second pair in a zippered or secure jacket pocket, so that your body heat keeps them toasty. (They would be like blocks of ice in your pack.) When your fingers get cold, remove the gloves you’re wearing and warm your bare hands against your belly or in pants pockets against your thighs. Once the blood has returned to your fingers, put on the gloves you’ve kept warm inside your jacket, and put the cold ones in that pocket.

This is also a good method for drying wet gloves, but put wet gloves in a pocket of a waterproof-breathable jacket, where the dampness won’t make contact with your body. Plus, carrying a spare pair of gloves is a smart safety precaution in winter—you never know when a gust of wind, a fall, damage like a tear, or even an avalanche could cause you or a companion to lose a glove or two, quickly leaving you without the functional use of your hands and putting you at risk of severe frostbite.

Lastly, mittens are warmer than gloves because fingers benefit from their collective warmth, and get cold more easily when isolated. Whenever dexterity isn’t critical, or in extreme cold, wear mittens instead of gloves or over light gloves.

Keep your fingers happy. See my “Review: The Best Gloves For Winter.”

Backcountry skiing in the Sawtooth Mountains, Idaho.

Bring Two Hats

For any outing on which my exertion level or the temperature will vary, I always bring two hats: a really warm one for when I’m resting, skiing or snowshoeing downhill, or exerting in really cold temperatures; and a lighter, more breathable one for when I’m exerting hard in moderately cold temps and don’t want a hat that’s so warm it makes me overheat (the same kind of beanie-style hat I’d also wear for aerobic winter activities like skate-skiing or running). When I’m wearing the warm hat, I keep the lighter one, which may have gotten damp from sweat, in a pocket close to my torso to dry it quickly.

Keep your noggin warm, too. See my “Review: The Best Winter Hats.”

Red Mountain, Wallowa Mountains, Oregon.

Pre-warm Your Gloves and Boots

Fingers and toes get cold most easily because they are the parts of your body farthest from your heart; and because, once they are cold, your brain directs the capillaries in your extremities to cut off circulation to those parts (known as vaso-constriction), to protect the body’s core from cold blood returning to the heart.

My solution: Pre-warm your gloves and boots by a heater before going outside, so your fingers and toes feel toasty the instant you put them on. (Example: While driving to go backcountry skiing, I keep my ski boots either near the car’s heater or in the back seat, rather than in the back of the car, which is colder; and I keep my ski gloves inside my jacket, warming against my torso.)

When fingers and toes get cold and won’t rewarm on their own outdoors, stick chemical hand and foot warmers inside your gloves and boots. I like the Grabber and Hot Hands products from warmers.com.

0 Dress Like A Goose

If you stop for more than a few minutes, put on a fat down or synthetic-insulation jacket immediately, to prevent your body from rapidly cooling off. Take it off right before you start moving again, so you don’t overheat.

Which puffy should you buy? See my “Review: The 0 Best Down Jackets” and “Ask Me: How Can You Tell How Warm a Down Jacket Is?”

Sit On Your Pack

The ground, rocks, logs, and all other natural objects are frozen in winter and will suck the cold from your body via thermal conduction if you sit on them. Instead, lay your pack on the ground and sit on it.

Shopping for new gear? Start with the menu of all my reviews and buying tips at my Gear Reviews page.

Backcountry skiing in the Teton Range, Wyoming.

Worship the Sun

Just as you would seek shade when taking a break on a hot day, in cold temperatures, take rest stops in warm sunshine, and face into the sun. Ideally, find a spot that’s sheltered from the wind, or put your back to the wind. Keep in mind when planning trips in advance, especially when taking out people new to winter outdoor activities, that you can improve the chances of them enjoying it by taking them out in March or early spring, when the sun is much higher and warmer and days are longer than in December or January.

Tell me what you think. I spent a lot of time writing this story, so if you enjoyed it, please consider giving it a share using one of the buttons below, and leave a comment or question at the bottom of this story. I’d really appreciate it.

Find more detailed advice in my book Winter Hiking and Camping, from The Mountaineers Books.

Did you find this story helpful? Get full access to ALL stories at The Big Outside. Subscribe now!

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musicagency-stuff-blog · 5 years

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How to Prevent Music Marketing Info Overload!

I intend to give you a little rule you can make use of in your music marketing that goes like this. " I will certainly spend 80% of my time creating impressive music, 15% music marketing and after that 5% understanding music marketing material." it is kind of like removing my nose to spite my face since I create a great deal of music marketing material myself, yet if you spend your whole time eating up all the info, it's extremely difficult ever before to get around to generating any type music of well worth.

And marketing crap music has a name. SPAM! You need to consider all the online training courses, overviews as well as publications like shiny items that are drawing you in all various directions as well as stick with one method till you make it a success. The truth remains that if you don't make any music of worth, you are not truly an artist. Have you ever before remained in music marketing info overload? Today I approached my computer system with exhilaration after a long weekend away with the suggestion that I would pump out some articles and also begin to service my new digital book. However, the strategy appears to have gone all rickety. I opened my Twitter customer to see that my buddy sent me a link to a great short article about exactly how to "sing like a superstar," which led to one more and then an additional. So now I recognize the theory of awesome vocal delivery however I'm no additionally on with my mission to give you men the very best music marketing details I can muster.:--LRB-. Keep in mind to self, never open Twitter in the early morning; it's a total bloody time suck!

There are a couple of points that I have discovered throughout the years (yet that I occasionally ignore) which have assisted me in being more productive in my music marketing and also in music in general. - There are only a really small number of things that need your time. These consist of making music and also advertising music, forget whatever else or do it bursts of 25 minutes every day. - Reviewing music marketing training does not count as a job; you have to set a timer and also start obtaining something also done. - Work in 50-minute bursts of the focused task with a short break in between.it will certainly help you use your body's all-natural rhythm. - Don't read your email until 4 O'clock and set a thirty minutes timer for this job. Set your band e-mail account to allow individuals to know that you are doing this to be much more efficient and also will return to them as quickly as you can. - Give yourself monthly dedications.it can be anything from composing article to calling a minimum of 5 music calls every day. What does an ineffective early morning resemble for an artist? 1. Review 20 write-ups on music marketing and music industry news. 2. Checked Twitter And Facebook for 45 mins and complied with links at random. 3. Worked on the style of the music blog on an aspect that only the perfectionists would certainly see. 4. Spent thirty minutes in the music online forums. Currently, things are that none of that stuff misbehaves and you can for believing that you had obtained your hands extremely dirty in the music organization and also made a payment. However, sadly that is not the instance because there was no emphasis and no planning. Now let's check out early morning to be happy with. 1. Spent a solid 50-minute duration working with two brand-new articles. 2. 10-minute recharge. 3. Invest another 50 minutes editing post from the previous day and also posting to the blog site. 4. 30-minute recharge. 5. 50 minutes songwriting/ tape-recording a video for YouTube to bring traffic to the blog site. 6. 10-minute recharge. 7. Added some emails to the newsletter sequence that automatically goes out to the followers. 8. Half an hour recharge. 9. Called ten place managers and reserved two jobs. 10. 10-minute recharge. 11. Spent 50 minutes answering e-mail and discovering brand-new music marketing tactics in my emphasis area. If you make a dedication like that day-to-day, you will find that your job enhances tenfold and then you can invest the rest of the day reading your email or discovering brand-new music marketing things if you like. The troubles can come when you use that very early ruptured of energy in the early morning to consume material, and afterward when you come down to do some actual work you neglect what you were doing and have no focus. It's really hard to begin generating great work half means via the day since your body has lacked perseverance and power. it's all about emphasis, and also you actually can achieve extra in 4 hrs than most people get performed in a whole day if you just shut down all that crap pulling you away from the task available. However, this article is so essential. A lot of times you may even locate that you read something that appears like it's most likely to transform your life, as well as you will tell on your own that you are making progress with your music occupation if you just master the info. Well. I will let you into a little key. You understand enough now to come to be a professional musician if you utilize what you recognize as well as make progression daily. All of us recognize what to do since it's not rocket science. So when should you feed your mind? Now if you have actually read to this factor, you might be believing that I'm recommending that you never make an effort to learn or intend which you are always blindly just mashing away at your keyboard.it could not be better from the fact because the mind is kind of like a vehicle if you are going to run miles and also miles you need the right amount of fuel at the right time. As artists as well as music marketeers we require to know what others are saying so that we can form a point of view and include new ideas to our songs as well as an advertising strategy. Below is what I would certainly suggest if you have a full-time task: Discover 4 hrs a day to work on your music marketing then think of it such as this: - Hr 1 - produce web content be it music, blogs or video clips. - Hr 2 - use auto-posting sites like Sound FM, Onlywire, Social Oomph as well as Tube Magnate to push out your material quickly. - Hr 3 - Modify your new music and post and get it ready for publishing tomorrow. - Hour 4 - Refuel, utilize this moment to inspect your email, read blog posts and also make notes. Have a rest. Another integral part of this is that you require to have time daily when you entirely switch off from whatever and also do something that does not take any mind power in all. In some cases, TV or computer game can function. You will certainly not feel guilty currently since you will certainly recognize that you have done great work that day! I kept in mind when I was making my very first album I encouraged myself that if I actually wanted to make it function I need to concentrate 22 hrs a day through of the recording and also placed whatever right into making it the most effective thing we ever before did. I would certainly spend hrs as well as hours a day just paying attention to the recordings like some sort freaky Howard Hughes guy. NOT GOOD! But what I did not realize at the time was that a break could make points function far better as well as provide you an extra point of view. While on your break you are most likely to think about an incredible new guitar hook or a lyric that is most likely to resonate deeply with your fans. If I had actually simply taken a little go back, I think I would certainly have made a lot more progress and appreciated things a whole lot much more. I now take normal breaks throughout the day as well as this maintains me focused on the task at hand and my energy degrees remain high throughout the day, which is wonderful.

The music grey zone (A massive issue!). If you take anything from this article just let it be the reality that you want to avoid spending your whole life eating up all the music marketing benefits without ever making the cake. (Wow I'm churning out the allegories today like a cow makes milk!). People assume that there is some large secret to this stuff as well as if they can discover it every little thing will certainly be OK as well as the record labels will look after them ... IT IS A MYTH! I angle' inform you the number of times I have talked with artists who groan concerning the complying with issues: - I've obtained a job, so I have no time at all to service my music career yet lots of time to play upset birds four hrs a day. - Music marketing complication if you attempt as well as do everything you will obtain nowhere, concentrate on what you understand. - I spend 3 hours a day reading every item of info and then I really feel too puzzled to do anything simply quit it, this is the bad grey area. You require to burst out of these traps now otherwise you will certainly get to completion of one more year as well as your music ambition will certainly seem even further away because you will certainly tell yourself that you are a failure. it is just one of the main factors that most individuals never make it since they never ever make a dedication to operate at it everyday doing important tasks that will have a genuine effect. Use what you learn. The primary step back for the music marketing junkie is a little of focus. If you are dealing with YouTube to bring hits to your blog site right now invest your understanding time trying to find larger and far better means to come to be the next YouTube superhero. Then when you struck the computer system next early morning use what you learn. If you follow this easy guideline, you will unexpectedly end up being far more efficient since that time you invest reviewing now has an objective. If you consume all the information like a money grubbing pig you will certainly obtain fatter and fatter as well as slower and slower until you end up being a beached whale and also will need to go for a crappy task that will certainly melt your brain. Allow me conserve your mind men. Find out once a day in a focused location and also come to be the master of it ... EASY! Last Ideas. To finish off this post I want to share my commitments for this month so you could get influenced to make a few on your own. As I said before the worst sensation on the planet is getting to the end of the year and also thinking that instead of making day-to-day progress and also accomplishing something cool you just played Call of Obligation for during and are still benefiting an employer that you would privately like to kill. - Create content that issues and also makes a difference. - Help as many individuals as feasible utilize their music talent to locate a better funner life. - Add to the Twitter and Facebook chatter as opposed to just snooping on that dude I went to senior high school with. - Blog everyday. - Post a podcast everyday. - Blog post a YouTube video everyday. - Include important comment to the music marketing neighborhood.

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tastyerrands · 8 years

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Back from Dublin

Here comes my first post in 2017. This year started differently, in a positive way. Hitting new challenges at work and having the opportunity to work with a new team, I got to spend two weeks of January in Dublin to meet my colleagues and get started with my new role.

Now that I am back to Beirut, refueled with positive energy, I am ready to start a promising year. But most importantly, I am happy to have discovered a beautiful and peaceful city, and genuinely friendly and welcoming people. I think I underestimated how incredibly nice Irish people can be, until I got to meet them. I have to mention that I struggled first with the accents, but after a while it started to get easier. And as I am writing now, I can’t wait till my next visit.

Getting Around

If you are visiting Dublin, you can easily discover the city while walking or by using public transportation such as bus, Dart or taxis for bigger distances. Thanks to my Lebanese friend living in Dublin, I learned that I could get a Leap Card in some shops like Centra and some other grocery stores. The card can also be purchased online if you don’t mind waiting a couple of days for its delivery. This way, I had my card ready to take the bus when I got too tired or too cold while walking.

Where to Stay

I was staying at the Herbert Park Hotel as it was very close to the office. It is also at 30 minutes walk from the city center, and 5 minutes away from the bus stop. The location was very convenient, and the staff very friendly. I would recommend this hotel for anyone not travelling on budget.

What to Visit

Dublin includes a variety of sights you could visit depending on your interests. Here is a list of the ones I have visited, in addition to some other suggestions.

- Dublin Castle: The castle was constructed in 1204 following the order of King John of England. Since then, it became a center for the military and political power in Ireland. Nowadays, Dublin castle hosts the important State events like the inauguration of the Irish president for every mandate.

- Saint Patrick’s Cathedral: This is the National Cathedral of the Church of Ireland and the tallest and largest church in Ireland.

- Christchurch Cathedral: Founded by the Vikings and rebuilt by Anglo-Normans, the Christchurch cathedral is today the cathedral of the United Dioceses of Dublin and Glendalough in the Church of Ireland.

- Trinity College Library: The Library of Trinity College Dublin serves Trinity College and the University of Dublin. It is the largest library in Ireland and is famous for hosting the Books of Kells and a beautiful Long Room. The Book of Kells was created by Celtic monks over 1200 years ago. It is an illuminated manuscript containing colorful illustrations and is considered as one of Ireland’s national treasures. My favorite part of the visit was the Long Room. It contains over 200,000 books and the oldest example of Ireland's national symbol, the Harp. You would think you have already visited the Long Room because it looks like the library scenes in movies such as Harry Potter (although Harry's scene was in Cambridge).

- Phoenix Park and Dublin Zoo: Dublin Zoo is the largest zoo in Ireland and one Dublin’s main attractions. It is situated in Phoenix Park, the largest park in European capital cities. I visited the zoo and the park on a really cold day so I didn’t dare to go far enough to see the gazelles because rain was expected. The park also includes the residence of Ireland’s president and the USA ambassador’s house.

- Herbert Park: I was staying right next to Herbert Park, but couldn’t have a walk there until the weekend. The park is not very big but it is beautiful and well maintained. You would see people jogging, walking their dogs or just relaxing on one of the benches. I should try to have some morning walks there if I visit on warmer days.

In my next visits, I also plan to check the National Gallery and National Museum, the Little Museum of Dublin and the Science Gallery in Trinity College. I will probably enjoy a walk in Stephen’s Green Park, as I skipped it in my first visit. I would also like to attend an Irish folk dance spectacle as I have always been amazed by the performance of Lord of the Dance.

Other famous sights in Dublin also include the Guiness Storyhouse, the Old Jameson distillery and the Kilmainham Gaol, a former prison turned into a museum.

As for shopping, I enjoyed a pleasant experience in Dublin and got back home with a full luggage. I am not sure if it was only due to Sales season in January, but I noticed that prices are really lower than other European countries, and definitely lower than Lebanon. Head to Grafton Street and Henry Street and you’ll find a vast range of stores or shopping malls satisfying different tastes and budgets. Dundrum Shopping Center is also worth visiting. I particularly liked the House of Fraser department store there, and you can treat yourself with a nice dinner after shopping in the different restaurants and cafes available in the center.

What to Eat

I tried several restaurants in Dublin and none was disappointing. Unfortunately, I got an issue with my phone SD card, and lost the food pictures taken in the first couple of days. The places that I would recommend are the following:

- The Rustic Stone: Grill your steak the way you like it on a hot stone. I had mine with truffle fries. That was my first meal in Dublin so the pictures were lost :(

- The Girl and the Goose: My first lunch with my new team was at this lovely restaurant, where I mostly loved the nice library-like setting. The restaurant offers a selection of burgers, sandwiches and platters.

- Roli’s Bistro: Roli’s offers a selection of platters and sandwiches at convenient prices. The service is fast and you can also pick up a sandwich or a salad on-the-go, so it is recommended for lunch breaks, but it is also enjoyable for a nice relaxing dinner. I had this goat cheese tart there.

- Junior’s: For a quick and delicious grilled chicken sandwich, head to Junior’s. You can also have half portions of salad or soup with your sandwich. The food is good and the service is fast but the place is almost always full.

- Banyi’s Japanese Dining: I was craving sushi so I picked this place from Trip Advisor nearby restaurants, and it was the good choice. The nice presentation on dry ice made the food even more delicious.

- Al Boschetto: A family-run Italian restaurant in Ballsbridge, I went there twice. You can choose from a selection of salads, sandwiches, platters and pizza. I would recommend the chichen platter with mushroom sauce and rosemary potatoes.

- The Lobster Pot: When I was taking the stairs up to the Lobster Pot, I wasn’t expecting the elegant old-style setting. I think I was lucky to be let in with my casual look and without reservation. I had some trouble selecting from the menu because there were so many platters I wanted to try. I am going back again for sure. After dinner, make sure to try something from the desserts trolley, I had the honeycomb cake and loved it.

- Jewel in the Crown: I tried their set lunch menus of Korma chicken and rice and it was delicious. The portions are good enough for lunch and the prices are very affordable. I would go again and try something from the full more diversified “A la carte” menu.

- Ravi’s Kitchen: This family-run Indian restaurant has the nice atmosphere and the authentic cuisine. Go for the Korma chicken if you can’t handle extra-spicy food. The portions are big, so don’t order too much like I did, because everything is delicious and you would want to finish everything even when you are so full!

And to top it all, there is nothing better than a homemade delicious apple pie to try when you are away from home. I made sure to get the recipe from my friend so I can try preparing it when I get the chance.

Finally, a visit to Dublin can’t be complete without dropping by the Temple Bar area and the Irish pubs vibrant with jovial voices and music.

I am going again to Dublin, but this time I will probably visit the Irish countryside. So stay tuned for more posts about Ireland…

#Dublin #TrinityCollege #Sightseeing #Parks #Zoo #Restaurants #Travel #Trip #Ireland #Foodies

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alifeleadsimply · 4 years

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Single mama? Then self-care is even more important to your welfare!

Do you prioritise yourself? Do you remember that you have to take care of yourself? Have you ever thought about this?

I know. You are busy, the days are too short, the workload too heavy, the kids too demanding. Finding the time and space to take care of yourself can be challenging. Sometimes it can even feel impossible, especially if you have to do it alone. But for your own sake, as well as those around you, you need to make it a priority. If you do not, you cannot be surprised by burnout, exhaustion, foul moods, anxiety, and trying to exist, all in a mental fog.

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Society puts so much pressure on us to succeed. Add to that obsessive, competitive personalities and additional pressure to be the best mother/daughter/ /businesswoman/friend/etc. and you have a recipe for disaster. For single mamas, the pressure is even more intense – we have the special edition mom-guilt that keeps us going even long after we should have stopped to rest. So often we don’t even notice that we are running at full steam, without ever taking a break to recharge. From the outside, it looks as if we have it all together – a thriving career, obedient well-rounded kids (who we most probably are homeschooling), a clean house. But on the inside, we are slowly dying of exhaustion. Of course, most of the goals that we are killing ourselves to meet were set by us ourselves, and only we will know if we do not reach them. But still, we allow the pressure to steal our time. The time that is also meant to be enough to take care of ourselves.

I have now officially been a single mom for 5 months. 5 long months. Not only have I had to deal with severe separation anxiety (my kids’, not mine) as well as grief, I have also had to weather the Corona storm. So we have been on this up-and-down rollercoaster of emotions, locked in our home, where we now have to learn and play and clean and live. Just us.

During this time, I have realised again that if I allow myself to slide, if I stop prioritising myself, my kids are the first to pay. I become short-tempered, irrational, and just plain mean. When I allow myself to refuel and find the joy in taking care of myself, I am a much better mom – a much better human being. And that is what my kids deserve. So self-care has now become a huge priority, and almost first on the weekly to-do list.

What is self-care?

Self-care is knowing who you are, and what you need to ensure your own tank is full. That tank includes your emotional, physical, intellectual, spiritual and social sides. All of these aspects must be balanced and fed, often, to ensure that you live instead of merely exist, that you thrive instead of just survive.

I found this beautiful definition when I did the research for this post. I cannot remember where it was from, so if you recognize it or it is your own, please let me know so that I can reference you! The author said something along the lines of:

"Self-care is not a one-time thing that you can tick off a bucket list. It’s the constant repetition of many tiny habits, which together soothe you and make sure you’re at your optimum—emotionally, physically, and mentally"

Do you want to be at your best – emotionally, physically, and mentally? I would dare to guess that your answer will be “of course”. Then focus on yourself for a bit. Self-care doesn’t have to take time, it can be small things that you do on a daily basis, which fits in in your busy schedule. And it also doesn’t have to cost a thing.

Self-care rests on 5 pillars:

Intellectual

Spiritual

Emotional

Physical

Social

Do something that supports and feeds each of these pillars as part of your self-care routine and you’ll nourish every aspect of your life.

Why?

If the promise of a better you were too vague to convince you, here are 5 benefits of practicing self-care that might make you see this differently:

1. Looking after yourself can actually improve your productivity

Saying “no” to things that would otherwise over-extend you simplifies your life in a wonderful way. When you do not have these mindless activities filling up your day you actually have time to spend on things that matter, allowing you to spend your energy on worthwhile activities.

2. It can increase your resistance to disease (boosts your immune system)

When you take care of yourself you activate your parasympathetic nervous system (PNS), allowing your body to rest, rejuvenate, and recharge. This feeds your system, giving it the energy and strength to fight off those nasties that would otherwise make you sick.

3. Self-care improves your self-esteem

Knowing that you are worth looking after immediately makes you value yourself more. Being good to yourself decreases negative self-talk, making you a more positive person in the long run. And positivity has many benefits!

4. It gives you the space to get to know yourself

When last did you take the time to figure out what you love, what you hate, what you don’t mind, and what you wish? Practicing self-care requires thinking about what you really love to do. The exercise of figuring out what makes you feel passionate and inspired can help you understand yourself a lot better.

5. If your own tank is full, you have more to give others

Self-care gives you the resources you need to be compassionate to others. Giving compassion is a bit like filling a bucket from another, bigger bucket; you can’t fill someone else’s bucket if you don’t have enough in your own bucket!

Little and often wins the day

Here are tiny ways to exercise self-care and take better care of yourself. I have grouped them together according to the 5 pillars of self-care. Pick one exercise or activity from each group and incorporate it into your life somewhere during the week.

Tiny self-care ideas for the mind (intellect)

1. Read a book on something that interests you. Not a magazine, an actual book.

2. Look at your to-do list. Scratch of the things that are not necessary, as well as those items that are transferred from list to list. If you are never going to do it, take it off the list.

3. Go cloud-watching. Lie on your back, relax, and watch the sky. Use your imagination to see shapes and scenes.

4. Change a routine in your life. Take another route to work, order a different coffee, or change your ringtone. Mixing up your routine in small ways creates new neural pathways in the brain, helping to keep it healthy.

5. Enjoy a big belly laugh. Find something that gives you joy, and that is absurdly funny. Enjoy!

6. Learn something new that challenges you, but that is fun at the same time, e.g. take a dance class, learn how to knit, do a crossword.

7. Be selfish. Do one thing today just because it makes you happy.

8. Do a mini-declutter.

9. Recycle three things from your wardrobe that you don’t love or regularly wear.

Capsule wardrobe: Minimise your wardrobe without minimising your style

My winter capsule

10. Get out of your comfort zone, even if it’s just talking to a stranger at the bus stop.

11. Edit your social media feeds, and delete or unfollow any negative people.

Tiny self-care ideas for the body (physical)

1. Run, jog or walk for a few minutes. Exercise of any kind is a great mood booster and de-stressor.

2. Make one small positive change to your diet for the week. Drink an extra glass of water each day, or have an extra portion of vegetables with each meal. This can also include eliminating something from your diet for the week – no chocolate, no milk, no coffee. Just remember this is not to punish yourself, rather reward yourself with better, healthier habits.

3. Be still. Sit somewhere outside, preferably in the sun, and be quiet for a few minutes. This is a stepping stone to meditation.

Essential oils for meditation: Using nature to improve your life

4. Use essential oils in a diffuser, to calm you, give you focus, energise, etc. Try peppermint to suppress food cravings and boost mood and motivation.

5. Listen to music. Explore different genres and new artists.

6. Do yoga. Even if you’ve never tried it. Doing a mindful practice has many more benefits than just giving you a good stretch.

7. Nap when you need to. Just 20 minutes can make you feel mentally and physically refreshed.

8. Say “no” to invitations when you’re simply too tired to enjoy them, or if the gathering will just drain you mentally.

9. Take a long bath, with bath salts and oil, candles, and soft music. Read or just lie there and dream.

10. Commit to enough hours of sleep per night, barring exceptional circumstances (figure out how much sleep you need to function optimally)

Essential oils for sleep: Using nature to improve your life

Tiny self-care ideas for the soul (spiritual)

1. Read the Bible, and be still with God.

2. Choose who you spend your time with today. This includes social media. Cut out people who only drain you.

3. Stroke a pet. If you don’t have one, go to the park and find one. (Ask first!)

4. Make a small connection. Have a few sentences of conversation with someone in customer services such as a sales assistant or barista.

5. Have a self-date. Spend an hour alone doing something that nourishes you (reading, your hobby, visiting a museum or gallery, etc.)

6. Identify one of your strengths. Think about what you’re good at, and find an opportunity to use it.

7. Ask for help—big or small, just reach out and allow someone else to be there for you.

8. Go to church.

9. Be creative, whether through art, music, writing, or something else entirely.

10. Go on a trip with the sole purpose of photographing things that inspire you.

Tiny self-care activities for your moods (emotional)

1. Keep a daily journal, and be totally honest about your feelings. Start a gratitude practice

2. Write a list of “feeling words” to expand your emotional vocabulary.

3. Make time to be with a friend or family member who understands you.

4. Let yourself cry when you need to. Allow yourself to experience your emotions.

5. Sing along to happy music.

6. Cuddle up under a soft blanket. It is ok to allow yourself to feel comforted and comfortable.

7. Watch the flames of a candle or a fire.

8. Have crazy good chocolate. Or a glass of wine.

9. Walk barefoot on the grass.

10. Volunteer to help a cause that means something to you.

Tiny self-care activities for your social life (social)

1. Make a date to have lunch or dinner with a good friend.

2. Write an email to someone who lives far away, but whom you miss.

3. Reach out to someone you like but haven’t seen in a while.

4. Consider joining a group of people who share your interests.

5. Stop socializing with those who undermine or disempower you.

6. Strike up a conversation with someone interesting.

7. Sign up for a class to learn something and meet new people at the same time.

8. Spend time with a parent or mentor—someone who makes you feel protected and inspired.

9. Look into local retreats where you can meet like-minded people and escape from society.

10. Hug someone you love (friend, family member, or your child) for 12-15 seconds—studies show this boost immune system function and prompt the release of calming hormones. Just make sure it is someone you know and like, 12 seconds can be very long!

I am convinced that you should be able to find at least one activity in the above lists that speaks to you, and that is easily added to your weekly routine (tip: if you don’t have a weekly routine, start your self-care journey by working out a weekly routine). Once you can comfortably get to that one thing, add another. Continue until you are satisfied. And while you are busy, teach your kids the importance of self-care – let us all do our part in raising a generation who knows how to value themselves.

#Self care is not selfish #Self care #Self love #Self-care #Self #Kids #Raising kids #Single mama #Single mom #Single mom household #Single parent

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