#time to go be alone with my thoughts
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I survived the 14th century
Below is a rant that nobody asked for or wants. Feel free to skip it.
I watched season 2 late. I watched it in between the last two episodes of OFMD airing, so I was already in an emotional place. I had extremely low expectations for it. How can you add anything to something that was already so perfect?
Well, if you follow me, you know that things didn't go as expected.
Here are my receipts from that day:
I have never been so affected by media in my life. I cried every day for 5 days, and then again on day 7. That has never happened to me, ever.
So I sat down at my desk this morning and thought to myself "wow this time last year I was crying over these two. Still not over it but it was a real nice fandom I was gifted for a while there. I'm glad I got to be a part of things during such a turbulent personal time."
Turned on my computer and was met with the official "90 minute episode" news. I looked out the window at the bricks in the building across the street, looked at the dry, slightly shriveled succulent that was dripping with rain the last time I was crying about this stupid show. I felt the lump in my throat but I was able to swallow it down, remain composed. And a friend of mine who has graciously, and very generously put up with all my fandom nonsense having not seen any of it sent me the article minutes later.
It's a mix of relief that we're getting anything at all and devastation that we're down to 90 minutes. of course, the news is still fresh but if I stop typing about my feelings they are going to catch up to me and I'm going to be a mess.
We've lost two thirds of our time with the story. We're essentially down to six 15 minute episodes. I am grasping right now at the knowledge that Steven Universe gave me so much in 11 minute episodes and trying desperately to ignore the twisting in my chest and welling of my eyes.
Two days ago I said "I would take 5 minutes and say thank you." but that doesn't mean I'm not praying for some angel to leak the original scripts. *coughMichaelSheencough*
#good omens#personal post#rant#you can ignore this one#good omens season 2#good omens season 3#if anybody understands it's the rest of you here#go3#I survived the 14th century and all I got was emotional devastation#time to go be alone with my thoughts
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edit (10/23/2024) now that the poll is over: Original version, with 10 questions, from April 2023 here
And, given that the original is from April 2023, that means I can very easily say:
No, this was not an ISAT reference!
Just because I use parentheses and 2nd person pov and love the same concepts of what a time loop can do to a person doesn't mean it's ISAT
(Yes, I like ISAT, the original poll is why I was recommended the game! But if you look at the original, you can see all the origins of the options to choose from, including what spurred me on with the moss option from the replies)
If I were going to make something for ISAT, I would never be so vague, you can simply look at my ao3 for proof of that
#egg speaks#writing#polls#my writing#egg writes#my polls#poetry#time loops#listen I want to run this again#time loop poll#<- check that tag on my blog for the original 10 option version lmao#unreality#you know I didn't think I'd get fed up with people making isat jokes about this#I thought it'd be like oh hey neat same hat#we both like the same game#but people keep going āoh this is JUST an ISAT referenceā#as if it's not a genuine work of creativity I did myself. it feels a bit devaluing#āop you played isatā yes but that came after the original!!!!!#I KNOW it's not meant like that but I want people to engage in my work as its own thing. you can make jokes about similar media!!!#but this is it's own thing!!!!#I want people to like it for what it is. I want people to enjoy it outside of other media. I want it to stand on its own#I'm flattered someone said it was good enough that they think it could be narration from the game and read just as well!!!!#but like. idk. all the other medias popping up (pmmm. orv. higurashi. etc) aren't people calling it a /reference/#if I wanted it to be an ISAT reference I would have tagged it originally. I would have targeted it toward ISAT fans more intentionally.#I love fanworks but this was an ode to time loops alone. I wanted people to think. to have to CHOOSE. I wanted PARTICIPATION#time loops as a narrative and as horror and as a group activity via polls on tumblr. also s/o to the person who said 40 hr work week so tru
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A Night Sky in the Woods
#art#friedrich#caspar david friedrich#another study- this time of Chasseur in the Woods#phantom is based on the feeling of lost home#and gave it textures of tree wood + stars + tears#have a version without the phantom too#but i feel he has a similar atmosphere with what the artist was originally going for so i don't feel too disrespectful posting this etc#eh etc etc im bad at caring enough to explain my thoughts well....... ;;#fantasy art#fantasy creatures#phantom#dark forest#wdhgwid#ghost#dark woods#night sky#fantasy illustration#inks#alone
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purple hawke who, at malcolm's death, lost not only a father, a mentor, the single most stable and safe point in their world up until this moment. but also the only person in their life who would consistently, gleefully 'yes, and ā ' them. the loss, in one fell swoop, of both a beloved parent and your sole willing ā no, not only willing, enthusiastic ā improv partner. truly, the most unkindest cut of all that the maker could have seen fit to deal. (there's always so much less laughter in the house, after malcolm's gone.)
and then after all the horrors of the blight and trying to make a new life in the shithole turned shithome of kirkwall....... they meet varric. and something that's been slumbering deep within their soul dries a tear of relief and joy and whispers 'oh we are so back'. and they are so right
#bound together by an oath more solemn and more sacred than any vow of marriage#(I'll be your yes and for life bro. I really mean it bro. your nonsense is safe with me bro./*bro*)#commitment to the bit. and also our friendship. queerplatonic life improv partners & bullshit enablers. a beautiful thing tbh#dragon age#dragon age 2#varric tethras#hawke#purple hawke#on second thought let's not go to kirkwall; it is a silly place#purple hawke seems in some way especially alone in their family to me in some ways? there's no one to 'match' them#blue hawke and bethany seem to understand each other quite well; red hawke and carver are kind of uh 'on the same wavelength'#for all that that wavelength involves constantly butting heads and being shitty to each other haha#with malcolm gone there's really no one else in the household who seems to resonate even in that way with purple hawke#varric seems to have a similar situation going in his own family too which like. I'm so glad these chucklefucks found each other haha#oh to have a best friend you could just play effortless nonsense tennis with for hours at a time again. I miss that in my life
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all I wanted was to save them... (ID in alt)
#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun#trigun maximum#tw blood#let me know if there's any other tags i need to use!!! not sure if it counts as gore#ruporas art#*vash voice* YOU ARE NOT WRONG/LOST WOLFWOOD!!!!!!#i think very often about ch 49 where wolfwood thought it was fr over for him for that brief moment. he was already bearing with so much#fatigue that it wasn't going to be enough for him to fight back properly.. and ough... augh..... for the first time after bearing that cros#someone saved him. someone saved himmmm AUGHHHH <-- guy who can't be normal about it even though its been 7 months since i read it#but he's suffered alone for so long and continued to do so because it's all he ever knew in those short years#and its devastating. his one and only desire was simple and it was still difficult for him to reach T_T#anyway... i love him... holds him tenderly in my palms
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Okay. hear me out. Creaking Helsknight
#atlas.art#artists on tumblr#mcyt#hermitcraft#helsknight#welsknight#the creaking#do you see my vision#his heart gets left back in hels when he comes to hc through the cloning machine#something something you are a creature not entirely your own devoted to one purpose belonging to one place#and then suddenly you are somewhere else and you are alone and without purpose and you are your own being for the first time in your life#and it feels like there is a hole in you somewhere. like you have lost something vital. you want to find it again. go home. feel whole.#but at the same time in it's absence you have become something else entirely#and you're not sure if you can ever go back to belonging to a separate whole again#not to. uh. get existential with it or anything.#thought about this too long today mayhaps. whoopsie.#anyways his name being hels like the place because he is entirely a part of it as an extension of the creaking heart... .. . .#literally the knight of hels as in created from it and not seperate from the land itself#idk what all of this would imply about wels lol#someone else can figure that out
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Snap: *draws a Megaman-inspired Magneto*
Me: ...Perfect modernization.
wait now that its not 3AM i can do you one Slightly better
bonus:
#xmen#xmen comics#magneto#erik lehnsherr#erik magnus lehnsherr#max eisenhardt#snap sketches#this is legitimately the most self indulgent thing ever ive been wanting to draw magneto like a robot master for months vjAELKJAE#i thought about adding the little 'ears' robot masters/reploids have but not this time#whats funny is that during my initial redesigning i WANTED to pay homage to erik's trench coat look buuuutt i couldnt figure how#so thank you sigma for. letting me steal your shit vjELKAEJ#i havent drawn megaman characters in like. years good lord- whats funny is that magnetman Was one of my faves to draw#which doesnt mean much since i loved drawing pretty much all the robot masters equally LMAOOO#i remember some freak got pressed at me for doodling metalman during class once like dawg what is your problem#bruv leave me ALONE let me draw you are not my mom#anyway. as i said last night i dont have my usual evening class so i figured id fill the time doodlin these#they didnt take long- i think thats why i like drawing This magneto outfit so much#reminds me of my megaman doodlin days ... also it's genuinely just quick as hell WHICH. makes sense#all that done im done megaman-inspired posting thank you for the opportunity anon im glad you appreciated it :]]#im gonna go eat now my tummy rumblin. theeeeeeen i guess ill drive home ???? i guess.#it's almost saturday so that means i get to post more asks- ive been hoarding them throughout the week#so i apologize if some people have been waitin i PROMISE i havent been ignoring i just wanna draw somethin for it </3#ok im eating now BYYYYYYEEE
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i'll reassure you as many times as you need
#oofuri#abemiha#my art#in my humble opinion every time abe says ill go up to the mound as many times as it takes or im w/ u every step of the way or i'll never do#wrong by this guy or to think you wanted to figure this out alone etc etc ETC = i love u!!!#anyways i thought this was a sweet idea#we all need some1 to hold our hand and be like idcccc you are loved. checkmate š£ļøā#hurt/comfort girlies rise UP!!!!!!!!
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For the ghostlights drabbles: āSay my nameā with a favor being called in?
Duke had saved Phantom years ago, back when he was just out of high school and working to take down a branch of the government that was kidnapping and experimenting on people, targeting magic users and metas. Phantom had been working on his own to take them down, and they met in the middle, trashing a lab and freeing as many people as they could.
They had managed to shoot his back, knocking him down and making him bleed a glowing green. Phantom couldnāt move, protecting two kids with his body, and Duke couldnāt reach them in time before they were taken away by another swarm of agents.Ā
He was able to go after them in time, free Phantom and the kids, and evacuated the victims before Phantom rained hell down on the facility.
At the end, standing in the background as they watched paramedics treat the victims and take them towards the nearest hospitals, Phantom had turned towards him and thanked him.
Or rather, he thanked the Signal and offered him a bracelet with a rounded orb of ice, glowing faintly in the dark. If you ever need me, he had said, Hold this, and call me name.
Phantom vanished once the last of the victims were transported to a safer location, and Duke hadnāt seen him since.
Heās kept up with news about Phantom as best he can, but from what he could tell, Phantom is based primarily in Amity Park, Illinois, and the town is fiercely protective of their hero. News rarely leaks out of there, and with them running on their own servers and independent internet, it was nearly impossible to get in from the outside.Ā
Phantom remained a curious and distant figure in Dukeās life. He holds onto the bracelet still, guarding it carefully and sometimes running his fingers over the ice that never melts.
But he doesnāt call in that favor. Heās never to.
At least, not until now.
Sucking in a breath, Duke prepares himself and holds the orb of ice in the palm of his hand. Heās in civies, unable to hide his identity for this, and closes his eyes. āPhantom,ā he says.
For a moment, nothing happens. Duke blinks his eyes open and frowns, mind already forming new plans to contact Phantom. Then the ice goes bitingly cold, almost painful, and the temperature in the room drops dramatically. The ice lifts up from his hand, floating in the air, then cracks open.
White-blue light spills out of it, growing brighter as it seems to swallow up the room entirely. Duke hurries to back up, an arm thrown up to protect his eyes. His breath mists out before him and he shivers as the sound of ice cracking fills the room.
And then, just as suddenly as it started, the light disappears and the cold fades away like a bad dream.Ā
Slowly, Duke lowers his arm and looks up at Phantom, floating in the middle of his living room with a crown made of ice, engulfed in blue fire, hovers above his head. He looks older, more regal, holding his head high.Ā
He regards Duke carefully for a minute, then tilts his head and says, āSignal?ā
āYeah, itās me. Man, Iām so glad you came.ā
āYouā¦ need help with something? Youāre calling in your favor now, right?ā
Duke nods. He understands Phantomās confusion; being in the hero business means that favors like these tend to be used only during the most hopeless of times, when the world is close to ending, when the chances of getting out of a situation alive is close to impossible. Itās exactly the kind of thing Duke was expecting to call Phantom in for.
Not the kid sleeping on his couch.
āYouāre a ghost, yeah?ā
Phantom blinks at him. āGhost king, now. Why?ā
āWellā¦ā Duke rubs the back of his neck, nervously. āI didnāt really know who else to call, and I canāt do this on my own since Iām not a ghost. But this kid got attached to me and wonāt leave, so now Iām taking care of her and I have no idea what Iām doing.ā
āI donāt know why you think I have any experience with kids butāā
āSheās a ghost.ā
Phantom stops short. āAh. I see.ā He floats down until his feet touch the floor, and then heās standing like any other person. āWhereā¦?ā
Duke looks past Phantomās shoulder, and Phantom turns to follow his gaze. Chelsea, the ghost girl, looks to be around nine years old and is fast asleep on the couch, curled up under Dukeās softest blanket.
āSignal,ā Phantom says quietly, āWhat, exactly, is the favor you need from me?ā
āYou can say no,ā Duke starts. āI get that this is a lot. But I need help raising her. And since youāre a ghost, I figured you could help me learn about the ghostly side of things. You donāt have to raise her with me or anything! Justā¦ I would appreciate any help youāre willing to give me.ā
Phantom doesnāt say no. He doesnāt say anything. He just stares down at Chelsea, an unreadable expression on his face.Ā
On the couch. Chelsea shifts in her sleep, brows furrowing as she makes a choked noise in the back of her throat.
Moving on autopilot after so many nights of this routine, Duke kneels next to the couch, fishing one of her hands from beneath the blanket. He gives it a few reassuring squeezes, keeping it a slow rhythm to pull her gently from her nightmare. She settles down in just a minute, brow smoothing out as she continues to sleep.Ā
The silence grows and Duke is all too aware that his heart is the only one beating.Ā
He doesnāt hear Phantom move. Doesnāt realize heās right next to him until he sees Phantomās hand reach out towards Chelsea. When Duke looks, Phantom is sitting on the floor next to Duke, looking at Chelsea with something soft and devastated in his eyes. His hand hovers about her head for a long moment, then slowly lowers to rest on her head.Ā
The touch looks gently, barely putting any pressure on her head, but itās enough to make Chelseaās eyes snap open, suddenly wide awake. She stares at Phantom with wide eyes, then sits up and looks between him and Duke.
āWho are you?ā she asks in a small voice that makes Duke want to stand against the world to keep her safe.Ā
Phantom smiles. Itās casual and charming and makes him look like anyone else, as if heās not a powerful king from a realm unreachable to humans. āHi there,ā he says, āIām Danny. Iām a ghost like you. Signal called me and asked me to meet you.ā
The Ghost King is good with kids. Who would have thought?
Chelsea looks at him for confirmation and only relaxes when he nods. āIām Chelsea. What do you mean ghost? Iām not dead.ā
Both he and Phantom tense, carefully keeping their expressions neutral. She hasnāt told him much at all, just that her parents were gone and forgot her and she got hurt, so she wanted to stay with āMr. Signalā because heās a hero and heroes keep people safe and he was the only one who was Black like her. Duke hadnāt had the heart to say no, and began searching for her family, only to find that her parents had fled the state, and likely the country, after killing their only child through neglect and a dangerous environment.Ā
It was then that he realized that her powers were not because she was a meta, but because she was ghost.
It still hurts to realize how young she is, how much of her life had been stolen from her in an instant. Duke hadnāt been brave enough to broach the topic with her, instead choosing to let her grow comfortable in his presence, get them both settled into a routine now that he was her primary guardian.Ā
āI know it sounds scary,ā Phantom says, āAnd you may not want to believe me, but itās true. Iām sorry that you died so young, but that just means you get to hang out with me and other ghosts from now on!ā
Chelsea crosses her arms over her chest and glares at him. āI am not dead,ā she says.
āCici, Iām sorry to say this, but you are,ā Duke cuts in. āThatās why I calledā¦ Danny. You have new powers as a ghost, and he can help you get used to them.ā
āIām not dead!ā she says again.
āKid,ā Phantom begins, but Chelsea shakes her head hard and hops off the couch.
āIām not lying! Watch, Iāll prove it to you!ā She closes her eyes and scrunches up her nose, concentrating. Her hands curl into tight fists by her sides, and the glow around her grows dim. Two faint, stuttering rings of light appear around her waist. They flicker and wobble in the air, as if weak and uncertain of their own existence, then split apart, one moving up towards her head while the other falls to her feet.
Beside him, Phantom sucks in a sharp breath, but Duke canāt turn to see whatās wrong when heās trying to take in the sight of Chelsea suddenly full of vibrant color, looking more solid that heās ever seen her, very much alive.
āSee?ā she says proudly, lifting her arms and doing a spin to show off her right she was. āI told you Iām not dead!ā
āNo, youāre not,ā Phantom agrees, sounding shell-shocked. When Duke is finally able to look away from Chelsea to check on him, he looks awed. Thereās the smallest smile on his face, just the slightest upturn of his lips, but it makes him look softer.
Duke turns his attention back to Chelsea before he can be caught staring. āCici, can you come here for a second?ā
She goes before heās finished speaking, crossing the space between them in a single jump, then grins up at him. Her hair is a bit of a mess, the two buns he managed to get her hair into falling askew. He makes a note to visit the old aunties in the Narrows later to ask them to teach him how to do hair. For now, he holds out a hand and Chelsea drops an arm into it.
It seems to good to be true, having her be alive, but her pulse is steady and strong when he presses his thumb against the inside of her wrist.Ā
āWell,ā he says, leaning back and letting go of her arm. āYou certainly proved us wrong.ā
Chelsea doesnāt have much time to look smug before PHantom quietly says, āYouāre like me.ā
āWhat?ā
āYouāre like me,ā he tells Chelsea. āA halfa.ā
She tilts her head to one side. āWhatās that?ā
āSomeone who is half human and half ghost. Both dead and alive.ā
Duke blinks, taking in the words, then turns to face Phantom so quickly heās worried he might give himself whiplash. Halfa, he said. Like me, he said.Ā
And sure enough, two rings of light, bright and strong, appear around Phantomās waist before splitting in half, moving over his entire body.Ā
Gone is the Ghost King, all powerful and adorned in dark clothing with a crown of ice above his head. In his place is a guy who looks to be Dukeās age, eyes a deep blue and his black hair messy, feet set solidly on the floor. He looks completely normal, completely human, and no longer an impossibility.
āYou still up for learning how to use all your new powers?ā Phantom asks.
Chelsea grins. āYeah!ā And then, with a quick flick of her eyes going from Phantom to Duke that he almost misses, very innocently asks, āAre you going to stay with us then?ā
āIā¦ donāt know?ā Phantom looks to Duke for an answer.
Already, Duke can see this going two ways. The correct way forward, the normal one, has Phantom popping in every so often, taking Chelsea out for a few hours to work on training her and her powers. Itās easy and routine and they can keep their boundaries uncrossed and be professional.Ā
The other path is what Duke wants most that he shouldnāt impose onto the literal Ghost King. He could have Phantom living with them while heās on Earth and out of Amity Park, having a place at the table, a section in the closet for his own clothes, a quietly domestic night together while Chelsea sleeps where they can get to know each other more, get to know each other outside of news reports and texts on a screen.
āYou can stay with us if you want,ā Duke offers, casually, āIt might keep my apartment safe from her powers acting up on their own again.ā
āAre you sure? I could always just fly in on the weekends or something.ā
āIād appreciate having you around. So you can help Cici.ā
āIf you donāt mind,ā Phantom says, looking away. Like this, fully alive with a beating heart, itās easy to see the blush steal away across his cheeks.Ā
āI donāt.ā
āI donāt either!ā Chelsea pops in, looking far too gleeful by their awkward conversation.
Duke canāt help but laugh, feeling lighter than he had in ages. The relief of knowing that Chelsea is alive, for the most part at least, eases the guilt of thinking he had been too late to save her, that there was no chance she could have made it out and had a future, makes him feel weak. All the exhaustion of the past few weeks hits him all at once and he wants nothing more than to collapse in bed and sleep for twelve hours.
āAlright, squirt,ā he says, reaching out to pat her head. āItās late. We can talk more in the morning, so go to bed. In your actual bed this time, not on the couch.ā
Chelsea stands up taller, ready to argue, but Duke gives her a Lookā¢ and she quickly shuts her mouth, nods, and drags her feet back to her room (the former guestroom he can never give any of the other Waynes ever again, once they find out about her).Ā
Sighing, Duke collapses onto the couch once he hears the door shut behind her. Phantom joins him after a few seconds, sitting tentatively on the edge of the couch. The cushion moves beneath his weight, another reminder of how solid and alive he is right not.
Duke wants to touch him, to reach out and feel for himself his pulse, the warmth of his body, his chest lifting with each breath.Ā
He doesnāt move. He stays where he is, hands carefully still, and tries to think past the dizzying thoughts of sheās still alive, Iām not too late, heās still here, heās alive.
āRough week?ā Phantom asks, voice purposefully light.
āSomething like that.ā
āYou should get some sleep too.ā
āI donāt think I can. Not after everything. My mindās too loud right now.ā
Phantom shifts closer to him, hesitant in a way that Duke has never seen before in him, and asks, āWant me to stay with you until you mind quiets down some?ā
āYeah. Iād like that. Thanks, Phantom.ā
āYou know, if Iām going to be around so often as Chelseaās halfa mentor, then you might as well call me Danny.ā
Truth be told, Duke didnāt think that was his real name. Heās glad to know itās not.Ā
āThen call me Duke.ā
ā...Are you sure? You could still hide your identity from me.ā
āNah, I trust you. A name for a name, yeah?ā
Danny smiles. āDuke,ā he says, testing out the name, and itās never sounded better than when it falls from Dannyās mouth.
āDanny,ā Duke returns. He belatedly realizes that theyāve leaned towards each other, drawn together like gravity, stuck in each otherās orbit. It feels natural. It feels like this is where theyāre meant to be.
Maybe he should be more cautious. Theyāve only meant once before, after all. But heās read all he could on Phantom and has seen how Amity Park loves him. Heās stressed and exhausted and trying to figure out how to look after a half-ghost child thatās already been dealt a bad hand in life. He should be keeping Phantom at a distance, watching over him carefully to ensure he isnāt a threat to Chelsea.
But Duke saw how he acted with Chelsea, so gentle and understanding and kind. Thatās all he needed to see.
He may not know much about Danny, but he knows this: he is trustworthy.
Enough to entrust his identity to him.
Enough to entrust Chelsea to him.
Itās more than a favor; itās a promise to walk this road together.Ā
Thereās no one heād rather do this with.Ā
āThanks,ā he says again, āFor all of this. I know itās a lot.ā
Danny shrugs. āI donāt mind. Really. Itās nice to know thereās another halfa out there, no matter how she came to be one. Makes things feel less lonely.ā
āWill you tell me more about halfas?ā
āLater. Once you get some proper rest. Weāve got time, havenāt we?ā
āWe do,ā Duke agrees, affection settling warm in his chest. āWeāve got plenty of time.ā
Learning how to control her new powers wonāt be easy for Chelsea. Learning how to take care of her wonāt be easy. Learning how to do things together, as Duke and Danny rather than the Signal and Phantom, wonāt be easy. But Duke knows with a certainty he feels in his bones that theyāre going to be fine.
So long as theyāve got each other, theyāll be fine.
#ghostlights#dc x dp#dp x dc#dcxdp#dpxdc#dc x dp fic#prompt fill#my writing#thought a lot abt what the favor could be but i could not resist the idea of surprise co-parents once i thought of it#here's a kid who clings to someone she knows is safe bc she is scared and alone!!#heres a stressed out hero trying to take care of a kid with no knowledge of how to do that!! and the kid is a ghost!!#heres a ghost king expecting to be used as a weapon and called in for a big battle suddenly finding another halfa!!!#so much going on here. so much to think abt with this!!!!!#i do love found family like this where they all kinda stumble into it and do their best to make it good#also could not resist making yet another oc. chelsea has my whole heart i love her <3 shes my daughter first#the bats dont know abt chelsea yet!! bc she can go invisble. its all been instinct every time they pop over to visit duke#soon she'll be able to control it and meet them properly#by properly i mean dukes gonna go over for sunday brunch and a little girl is gonna pop out from behind him like 'hi! im new!'#they will all love her of course. they will be shocked but happy!!#and a little less happy abt the GHOST KING duke has been hiding in his apartment that hes co-parenting with#sorry for the long tags im obsessed w this idea i want to Expand on it#maybe one day... with my other wips out of the way...
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they deserved better idc š
#it was so cool seeing the sign language and isha being mute was never something that needed fixing#she found a home and jinx found a reason to live#i know people are saying jinx survived because of the scene with Caitlyn but like...#why would jinx do that? she wanted to die this whole season she wanted to die at the beginning of the episode & that depression never faded#her escaping through the air vents implies a will to live#something jinx did not have#i thought it felt like the ending of ep 7 in the season one#trying to kill herself with ekko cause she didnt want to die alone. she had warwick when she pulled out & detonated one of her monkey bombs#like I'd love it if she was alive and left cause yea fuck Piltover get outta there honey!#and Isha's sacrifice meant nothing. she's just not mentioned at all we didnt even see Sevika's reaction to her death...#not dc#arcane#arcane spoilers#jinx arcane#isha arcane#tw suicide mention#the ending with Caitlyn felt like another moment of her and Vi having no idea the severity of Jinx's mental health issues#vi was upset she didnt wanna fight and go make change and shit and never mentioned the ''my sister wants to kill herself''#as if jinx wasn't in a depressive state every time we saw her in that cell.#and her removing herself from the equation so the others can be happy is ??????#so i guess she was a jinx to her family??? that she was the problem? its a frankly gross message to send with a suicidal character#that yes actually your loved ones will be better off without you in the picture you complicate things
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as an american, sam reidās total inability to hide his contempt for overly fake-chipper american journalists, especially ones who Have Not Done The Assigned Reading know and care about the show, will never not be hilarious and iconic to me
#sometimes he can dial it back to civil blank apathy#but i have never laughed and cringed like that at the same time#sorry weāre so fake bro weāre just Like That#his frank tiredness with unoriginal or dumb questions is kinda refreshing#i think we first got it full-blast with Itās Whatās Written In The Books last season#after 5K āwhy is it gayā questions#but that latest Dish tv interview where the journo joked they thought he was dead holy fuck#defcon 1 levels of Done#itās sort of fascinating since generally all celebrities play along with any interviewing atrocities they suffer though#american fakeism is the lowest bar to endure but the man is just a wall#lol donāt lose that sir#iwtv#interview with the vampire#okay no sorry this is my ted talkā#i mean heās not alone frex some european actors in particular seem to pull out their best acting chops when#faced with shrilly chipper american interviewers#though sometimes you can catch the horror in their eyes#and hugh grant epically blanked that one effusive interviewer on the red carpet at the oscars the yr before last#and was almost assigned 40 lashes in the court of public opinion#(āuntil will smith sucked all the oxygen out of the room)#but sam reid is just full stop not going to reflect back. itāsā¦kind of awesome and not a little brave in this biz#anyway this has been my ted talk#saluting an icon š«”
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#we trade pain for wisdom#whatever the case may be if itās you or if itās me growth and change and learning from the mistakes are all that we can do#to add to it didnāt deserve to know me like that* or appreciate my time etc#but throughout all the hardship Iāve been through with people that I didnāt work out well with (familyfriends romantic relationships)#ive learned a lot throughout my life from people and myself included#Iām grateful and appreciative of the wisdom Iāve gained and how Iāve overcame it but sad & angry at the thought of remembrance#I know what Iām saying is vague and this post isnāt about a specific person but just looking at it as a whole#people who genuinely like you and care about you want the best for you and will want to make things work no matter what#people who value you donāt treat you like shit people who value you show appreciation for you#people who love you let you know just like people who donāt they all let you know#but thereās been some instances where Iāve been the one who made mistakes and caused issues and things of that nature#Iāve taken those mistakes and learn from them and have grown from them since they happened#thatās the point of life learning experiencing understanding and growing#with or without you I will be fine :) Iām happy whether youāre in or out of my life#that statement alone if I had been told that before I wouldāve cried my eyes out but now Iām like Iām fine with or without I donāt need#anyone or anything but if you want to tag along thatās fine if you donāt want to thatās also fine the freedom is there#itās freeing in my heart to say that tbh#I know my worth and what I deserve Iām not going to settle for less
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Mission failed
Extra: helpful advice
#naruto#naruto fanart#kakashi hatake#rin nohara#maito gai#fanart#art#my art#sketch#drawing#digital art#gai and rin brainstorming and ended up with using missions terms to communicate#letās go on a mission together#aka letās spend time together#alone rn letās go#rin is trying and each attempt somehow fails#unfortunately kakashi is emotionally destroyed#not sure what time period but this is after the ninetails or something#maybe like a few years later? idk#i thought gaiās scarf was cute to draw haha#i thought this idea was funny to draw but now looking at it Iām not sure anymore š
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had a moment today where i was sat on a bench as the sun set thinking about how strange this period of my life feels
#like theres so much going on in terms of my relationship w my self and others#and like its a moment i'll always remember#and i keep thinking about this time next year and what that will look like and the future generally#now more than ever#life is so short and i feel so alone#everything is going to change so soon#diary#tiyas thoughts
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it was just going to be a few warmup doodles but then she infected the rest of the page like the ever eternal and spreading spores. hod!!! hod. hod :)
#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#hod#hod lobcorp#lobotomy corp spoilers#I GUESS i almost forgot i drew her box form#lobcorp spoilers#and michelle actually. ..#both very tiny. itty bitty. microscopic#other sephirah there too as normal. i cant have her alone. and Angelina as well on the top patting her#i have a hard time fully capturing her for some reason. in my mind. maybe its because is the disconnected period!!! mentally#she genuinely wishes to care and be kind yet theres a dissonance with what she does..? or how it ends up being taken or what she does to en#up bringing those actions into reality. she can be forceful? wanting to have employees attend therapy sessions and meetings for suppression#tactics. which i think is also something the safety team is incharge of iirc. so that means shes doing way more that what she needs to on#her job as a sephirah. just for the sake of employees#she really does care as shes one of the only to Directly attempt to change their circumstances and quality of life and health#sure chesed doesnt punish employees when they dont do their work assigned or stress them out with work#but he doesnt actively push to attempt to make changes to aid employees besides the research perks which is to the manager#yesod IS right next to her and does also genuinely care but when it comes to employees hes distant at best when it comes to them and the#way he tries to protect them is by enforcing rules but he doesnt really create or attempt to help them like hod does#yesod is sort of a passive? way of doing it. yes he doesn make a push to enforce said rules but he doesnt make new ones. just follows what#is already there in place. hod tries to make new ways and not just for the safety of people like how yesod's has them physically fine and#not letting them over a certain threshold of mental corruption but she tries to have a program to Directly Address such a thing#its born out of care but the genuine worry of being a good person and her naivety ends up having it do more harm than good#sure there may be some employees that actually like and find it useful but so many are just accepting to their fate of Dying to where#her care seems pointless. shes a sephirah and to them a literal metal box why would they go ahead and feel bad for what an 'ai' is feeling#as she is interrupting their free time in the company#which is rude. and shit. iirc the counseling is compulsory but people go because shes a sephirah and their superior. the thought was there#but again it comes off wrong and ends up not working because shes their superior in the end#EEK!!! yeah... hod. the hod. there is WAY more but i can't fit it all here and i already typed enough
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Time to think about how alone the pale king was when he died. He had lost everything. His kingdom yes, but even his closest relationships.
His trusted friends, who became dreamers, gave up their lives and all for a hopeless cause. His wife was driven away by her guilt and her grief. His child who he had learned to love, he sacrificed for nothing.
Almost every character that we know of who had a personal relationship with PK had either been sacrificed or had left him.
And of course all of it was his own doing. (At least largely his own doing.)
Still he sat completely alone in that throne room when he died there.
#Hornet is the one thing he still had and from her perspective#he was the last bit of family and hope that she had left and he abandoned her and left her alone in his crumbling kingdom#And she deserved better. I'd like to believe he at least attempted to help her before he left.#Encouraged her to leave with weavers maybe.#Either way I understand why his life ended the way that it did.#After everything.#Its just so tragic#All of it#AAAAAAAAAAAA#(Also interesting to me that there are absolutely no in game implications of what the relationship between hornet and PK was like.#and I have my own interpretation of course.#Which is that there wasn't much of a relationship because otherwise surely we would have any implication at all about what it was like.#we get some hints about her and WL relationship which seems very distant#I'd imagine with PK and with everything going on at the time it may have been more so.)#Anyway all very interesting and heartbreaking to think about#:)#hollow knight#the pale king#hk thk#hk the pure vessel#hk white lady#hk dreamers#Hollow knight dreamers#Hollow knight White Lady#Hollow knight thk#hollow knight pale king#HK thoughts
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