#tim and sasha are so precious

[fantasmadelaciudad]

re listening tk tma and i realized i don’t really like martin actually. wish we could all. stop talking about him.

[thelambthatkilledthewolf]

I feel like not enough people talk about Melanie's tragedy. Everyone talks about Jon and Tim and Martin and Sasha and Gerry and Michael and Elias and every avatar that gets five seconds of screentime and even Jonah, but I barely see anyone talking about how badly Melanie suffered too.

Do you ever think about it? Her friends, her community abandoned her. Her dad was already dead. She joins the Institute, working under a man she already dislikes, only to find out that the big boss is actually literally evil. The only reason the Slaughter bullet worked so well is because she was already so angry at everything, and who can blame her? She had as much right to be angry as Tim did, which is to say, she had every right in the world - even if that anger was a little misplaced.

And then, she is so desperate to get away, that she gouges her own eyes out. Do you understand that? She mutilated her own body, took away the main sense that we humans use to survive. Just to get out of that god forsaken place. Do you know how traumatizing that must be? Everyone is going insane, she's going insane, and then she gouges her own damn eyes out. She was not just okay after that.

And then, and then, just when she thinks everything is over and she can just be happy with her girlfriend, the fucking APOCALYPSE happens. The goddamn mother fucking end of the world. And she's one of the only people who can help others. She's suddenly a savior? All of this is thrust upon her, the world as she knows it is fucking ending, and she has the ability to save people. How stressful that must be, feeling guilty if you didn't help but being burdened with the title of savior if you did. How awful. How downright horrific. I'm amazed she didn't kill herself to get out of all of this.

I just. Melanie. Guys. Melanie. The level of desperation she must have felt to get out of the institute, that she was not only willing, but able to fully go through with gouging her eyes out? Guys I don't think we talk about that enough. She gouged her own eyes out with her own fucking hands and a book binder. We don't talk enough about how much that must've fucked her up. And then to turn into someone else's savior. A martyr. A prophet. I think by the end, she was just as, if not more traumatized than Tim - and yes, I'm going to keep comparing her to Tim, because they are so similar, and yet one is far more loved and spoken about than the other. Melanie deserved so much, and got so little, and she will never be the same. None of them will ever be the same, of course, but again - SHE MUTILATED HERSELF. SHE GOT RID OF HER PRECIOUS SIGHT, THE ONE SENSE THAT WE (generally) RELY ON THE MOST. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS, HOW DESPERATE YOU HAVE TO BE, FOR YOUR BRAIN TO EVEN ALLOW YOU TO DO THAT?

Just. Melanie. Guys please talk to me about Melanie I love her so much she deserves everything.

[daughterofluthien]

📼📼📼📼📼🛏🛏🛏

From the next chapter of my Magnus Archives fic good intentions (and the highest hopes), in which the Archives crew discusses Jane Prentiss, and Martin muses about fault.

“I’ll wager I know what you two are talking about.” Tim’s tone was casual, but Martin was familiar enough with what Tim sounded like when he was angry to hear the tension simmering just under the surface. “Martin’s close encounter?”  “That and the fact that Jon knew about it for hours before he thought it important enough to tell us about it.” Tim scoffed. “Oh, I’m sure the boss man had his reasons.” Jon’s responding indignation raised his voice again, nearly a full octave this time. “I’m right here!” “Jane Prentiss is dangerous,” Sasha reasoned, ignoring Jon’s outburst. “And all Jon will tell me is he ‘talked to Elias’ and ‘measures are being taken to increase security,’ whatever that means.”  “It means,” Jon said, “that the situation is well in hand. Elias personally assured me that in the event that Ms. Prentiss presents a credible threat to the institute and its employees, the construction of this building is such that any… worms… would find it very difficult to wriggle their way inside.” Martin stifled a laugh, not only at how wrong Jon was, but at how entirely deluded Jonah must be if he really thought the Institute was safe from Prentiss and her Hive.  Of course, more likely Jonah was only playing the odds. If there was no incursion then all the better, but if she was successful then that was one more mark for his precious Archivist. If he didn’t kill him by accident. He wondered if Jonah had a plan for that eventuality, or if he’d known just how close he had come so many times. Martin flexed his hand, remembering the smooth handle of the knife against his palm. In the end, Jon’s death hadn’t been directly caused by anything Jonah had done. It was just the two of them, making fucking terrible decisions.  Not this time around, though. He’d see to that.

AND from my sceo fic:

Their plan works. Together, he, Lydia, and Liam severed Mason from the resurrected Sebastian Valet, saving his life. But in the process, he had killed Valet, and Theo tried to kill him for a second time. In response, Kira was forced to trap him in Bardo. “He’s not dead,” she explains afterwards, “but he’s not exactly alive either. Bardo’s sort of like the space in-between.” “Yeah, I remember,” Scott says. “You mentioned his sister—what do you think’s happening to him in there?” Kira shakes her head. “I think he’s dreaming.”

Thank you!

Make me write and receive a snippet in return!

[ao3feed-jonmartin]

Tales from the Archive: Of pranks crushes and tired lunatics

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/twa4O1j by Vinyara It took Jon all of his self-control not to collapse on a stack of statements from those… people, who mostly just wanted to waste his precious time. A quick glance through them told him who he had to deal with now: Anna Pond (a cursed chair), Mary Higgins (fire ghosts, apparently) and Luke Webber (he couldn’t even read that… faflry???, family???, faeries???), all probably as accurate as the fact that Elias was a good boss. The archival assistants prank Jon. It does not go well. Words: 3229, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English Fandoms: The Magnus Archives (Podcast) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: M/M Characters: Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Martin Blackwood, Sasha James, Tim Stoker (The Magnus Archives) Relationships: Martin Blackwood & Sasha James & Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist & Tim Stoker, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist Additional Tags: Humour, Pranks, Arachnophobia, Book: A Guest for Mr. Spider (The Magnus Archives), Mental Health Issues, Apologies, Panic Attacks, Self-Worth Issues, Fluff and Angst, Elias being a bad boss, we all hate leitner in this house, there isn’t that much jonmartin up to now but i do kinda want to continue this so we’ll see, Texting, group chats read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/twa4O1j

[one-strugling-bean]

Update on my TMA binge: 1st season has been finished.

Below are my main sticking points:

The voice acting is so gooooooood!! Im loving everyone's voices - they all portray their characters emotions and personalities so well!

Jon kinda has the golden medal tho, since hes by far the most prominent voice

Abt the side characters - Martin took me by surprise so hard when he first spoke. I was expecting like..... A big, chill himbo. Kinda like Kronk or Launchpad but less loud, with a grave voice. (Ig part of me had imagined the Martin from Adventure Time?) I was def not expecting the voice of a prepubescent teen.

Anyway, he's baby. Precious to no end but also surprisingly useful and smart? He's an absolute 10/10 I mean. Would buy him sweets and listen to his rambles abt spiders (jon how can you call him a useless ass, he's so un-insultable??? q~q)

Sashaaaaaaa what happened to my favorite gurl???? And also the only one... She was literally the only reason everyone else escaped the worms, Sasha saved everyone's butts. By far the most competent and brave of the squad - a true Gryffindor u-u

But im afraid she died from whatever got her in the storage unit... I've been skimming through the comment section on each episode's youtube video, and some of them seem to imply she's dead for good... I reaaaaally don't want that to be true, she was so cool!! and the single holder of the Archives braincell!! I dont want her to die ;-;

And Tim!! Tim had the least amount of recorded time, but he's already a fave too. Him pretending to be Jon right before Sasha tackled him was so so funny. Also, ig he's kinda what I thought Martin would be. So no losses there!

Elias is.... Weird. Weird in the sense that he seems so obviously suspicious, i hesitate to pin the blame of anything on him. Like it's too easy to be true you know??? Like they're making him look shady on purpose to distract us from the actual shadiness going on. Idk though. He's shown up so little until now he might just have nothing to do with nothing, or be the big final boss. He's got me very confused (also his voice is sooooo cool, i love it. He gives me stern professor vibes)

How much the statements creep me out highly depends on what they're abt. Like, so far, the scariest have been Piecemeal 14#, Lost John's Cave 15#, and Infestation 39# purely because of all the screaming.

And abt the bigger story..... Idk about anything yet, but I'm very curious indeed.

The Dreamer #11 keeps coming back to me when i try to piece it together. Wth was supposed to happen to Gertrude?? Did it come to pass, and it was somehow how she ended up shot, or... did she find a way to kill herself so as not to have to face that fate?? And now Jon has to because he's in her place???

I rly dunno abt anything yet. Im just vibin and listening to all these spooks and having fun. I shall continue doing so rn actually.

End statement or whatever :p

(part 3 has been posted)

[annabelle--cane]

i mean, it's also good to keep in mind that ben meredith is currently busy Having A Real Life Baby, so it could have been purely a production choice. maybe they really did just want a basic "everyone who died in the panopticon," and they had to shift gears and make it og jonah's voice due to logistics

but then why not just cut the third voice and do something else? tma did a lot of warping and wiggling to respond to production constraints (ex., killing sasha first instead of tim, no live dekker statement, basira's main s5 arc being four consecutive episodes), stuff got axed if wasn't feasible, they aren't precious about their ideas. and even if that were the case, having this third previously unheard voice is still inherently a big point of mystery and would require an in-universe explanation. What Does It All Mean.

[poems-and-cows]

Work was better today! I was debating calling in sick, but I’m really glad I didn’t. No one mentioned anything about yesterday, which I’m really happy about. I think things are starting to look up a bit, you know?

Something immediately felt better about the atmosphere in The Archives. It didn’t feel like the air was thick and hot anymore, which was a huge relief. No one outright mentioned yesterday, but you could tell everyone was making an effort to make the space less overwhelming, and it was lovely. It didn’t feel like I was being treated like something breakable, it just felt caring.

The lights were noticeably dimmer, Jon wasn’t hovering around my desk as much, I had easier work, and my favourite tea was all stocked in the break room. I can’t even begin to describe how nice it felt.

I was dreading coming back into work all of yesterday night, but I shouldn’t have gotten myself so worked up. To be honest, it’s a long time since I’ve felt like I mattered that much. Sorry, that’s probably really uncalled for, and too personal to include, but I’m trying to make these posts as honest as I can. It’s been the first time in a long while I’ve felt so cared for.

Jon even said ‘good morning’ to me, isn’t that amazing? Tim and Sasha were checking in on me more, and they weren’t condescending or patronising at all. Usually people would look down on me for being so sensitive and dramatic over being a little overwhelmed, but it felt like they genuinely cared.

I don’t remember the last time I left the archives feeling better than I had before. Usually I’d find myself avoiding looking at the work group chat for the fear of looking creepy for hovering, or accidentally bumping into more work. I’d come home, collapse onto the sofa, and turn off my phone. I’d wince at every notification, and pray it wasn’t a work email. Now I’ve found myself not just looking at all the messages, but actually smiling at them. Even Jon’s insistence that the chat remain professional, the message lost in a sea of emojis and stupid selfies, made me smile.

It used to feel like Tim and Sasha were a duo, Jon was a third in their friend group that they both acknowledged as a close friend that they both cared for, and I was just a co-worker. Now it feels like I’m a part of something, in a way. Maybe it’s just wishful thinking, but it really feels like I’m being included and involved. I don’t feel so lonely anymore. It been a long time since I could say, with certainty, that I feel included and appreciated.

I know it’s small, I know I’m making it into a bigger thing than it is, and I know that someone they’ve all known for a few months will never compare to years of friendship. It feels welcoming to walk into the archives now though. I get smiles, even professional ones from Jon. I get ‘good mornings’, I get my favourite tea restocked, I get consideration for my needs, I get the lights dimmed, and the space I need to not be put under too much pressure.

It feels warm. Something warm, whole, and precious blooming inside of me, being watered every day by people’s kindness and consideration. I know it’s only small things, but it feels so nice and it’s been so long. I’m actually looking forward to seeing everyone tomorrow, isn’t that weird? Usually I’d be sat, chewing my nails and counting down the hours until I have to sit in that dusty old archive, on my last nerve. Now? Now I’m considering saying something stupid in the group chat to see if Tim laughs, and Sasha pins it on the wall of fame.

Sorry, I’m getting all emotional and soppy. I really can’t help it: today has been a bit much in the best way possible. I’m genuinely starting to believe I’ve found I place I belong, despite not really belonging there. I can’t really say why at the risk of being fired, but I can say that everyone is much smarter than me. It feels like I fit in despite that, and that’s something I was never prepared to feel.

I’m not the best socially, academically, or in just about any other field that matters, but people are looking past that. I’m not used to it at all. It feels all mushy and vulnerable, like someone’s stuck their finger in my ribs and started prodding at my heart. I know I’m overreacting over something as simple as the lights being turned down so I don’t have another freak-out at work, but I genuinely feel wanted in a way I haven’t before.

I’m sat on my bed right now, smiling to myself as I write this. I know it’s a bit soon to be writing all this gooey stuff about myself on this blog, and it feels like you’ve all been plunged into the middle of everything with no background, but that’s what you get when I randomly decide to keep a little online diary in the middle of all this life stuff going on.

I might go message in the work group chat. I’ve never talked in there before, and I’m a little nervous ( if that’s the right word ) to even attempt a ‘hi’. I’m just going to go for it. I need to start putting myself out there and making connections with people, and I’d love to be a part of the dynamic properly instead of feeling a little alienated all the time.

Wish me luck, I guess! Sorry for all the emotional babbling, I swear it won’t be like this all the time! It’s only like this when I really have to write about it, and this time seemed essential. I feel all warm and fuzzy, and genuinely cared for. It’s been a while, if I’m being honest.

I think things are gonna be okay :)

[late-to-the-magnus-archives]

This Dark Thing That Sleeps In Me - a Magnus Archives AU, Chapter Eleven

This is a DARK AU; it is not a kid-fic, though Jon is young. Bittersweet ending ahead.

Spoilers for the whole show, though this is very much an alternate universe.

There was no good choice to make. There was only the right one.

AO3

Incredible fanart by @iiiumihottie!

----------

He woke, and knew today had to be the day for one simple reason. He couldn’t put this off. If he waited, if he came to love these people more than he already had, he wouldn’t be able to go through with it. Sacrificing good people to save the rest was not… something he wanted to do. Yet it was something he had to do, wasn’t it? He did. This went beyond mere choice.

He was certain Annabelle had been right. No one else could do what he needed to do; and if only two out of three were being reborn right now, there was a strong chance he couldn’t come back and fix it later.

The genius of making Martin immortal now came clear. Even if Jon had, for some reason, chosen to wait until Tim and Sasha naturally died, letting them live what life they had, it wouldn’t happen with Martin. There was no way to do this without sacrificing Martin. Jonah, somehow, had planned for Jon to come. “He’s horrible,” Jon whispered.

Annabelle Two emphatically nodded.

Speaking of, Martin knocked on the door.

Jon was still sleep-mussed. “Come in.”

Martin peeked. “Hey.” And he did not laugh at the overlarge nightgown Jon wore, and Jon was grateful for that. “The funeral is today. It got moved up. We’re going to have to go.”

“Of course.” Jon rose, feeling a million years old, and looked at him. Really looked.

Martin looked young. He looked fine. But he wasn’t, was he? How many friends had he already said goodbye to? And all so Jonah would have this chain, wrapped around Jon’s heart.

It hurt. All of this hurt.

Deep down, his quiet, past self raged.

#

It was back up to the outfit place, and this time, all black. Everyone was wearing black; there were plenty of people there, finding things, some just grabbing any old clothes off a rack, others choosing carefully. Martin said nothing. He was already in black; he waited while Jon browsed, waited with a distant look.

People talked about sacrificing to the pyre , whatever that meant. 

Mike showed up, followed by Tim and Sasha, and all four of them hugged. Jon didn’t interrupt. This was a precious thing, a beautiful thing. All three of them fussed over Martin, adjusting his jacket, standing very close. Letting Martin adjust their clothes, too.

They’d all die. They were all going to die.

Jon was not okay.

#

Eventually, a bell rang, deep, like a gong, and they all filed out. Jon obediently trotted with them. They were going to the top of the tower, the very, very top, and it meant so many stairs.

The weather was cold today, and rainy. Cloudy. No one seemed to care; the entirety of the tower’s occupants seemed to be here, all together, and he was amazed at how big it was. From the ground, the tower-top had seemed like a needle. Actually up here, it was huge, and oval-shaped. There was enough space for everyone atop this place.

“Be careful,” Martin said to him.

On a whim, Jon hugged him.

Martin froze. “Hey… it’s okay, kid,” he said.

It was not okay. “I’m sorry you lost your friend. Annabelle Two is sorry, too.”

The spider under his ear moved, gesturing or something.

Martin stared. Went dead pale. “Annabelle?” he whispered.

“Annabelle Two,” Jon corrected.

“Whoa, hey!” said Mike, and caught Martin as he staggered backward, nearly falling over. “Tim! Seat.”

Tim rushed over with a chair, and Sasha joined them. Martin stared at Jon. No—at Jon’s ear. Then he turned and pressed his face to Sasha, holding her tight, and crying again. Maybe he thought Annabelle had been reborn as a spider. Maybe he just missed her. Jon didn't know.

They gathered around him. No one was watching. It was a perfect moment. He could slip downstairs. He could—

Not yet, came his past self. Be seen, first. Jon wasn’t entirely sure what that meant, so he just wandered slowly across the roof, being seen.

People startled. Some of them peered, very close and confused, but he just nodded at them, trying to seem as grown-up as he could. He was pretty sure he had one stop he had to make, One place he had to be seen: near Anabelle’s coffin, where Jonah was.

Jonah stood at the peak of this oval-shaped tower-top, in glorious blacks with a fur ruff and purple tips, with gleaming rings on his fingers and more silver around his neck and on his head. An enormous fire burned next to him, crackling, the most colorful thing in view. Jonah stood there with all the bored calm in the world, as if he hadn’t been the one to kill her. Stood there, looking at everybody, with something harsh in his glittering eyes as if he was seeking for more betrayal.

Or whatever he considered betrayal.

And he had no right to be that way when he was the one who’d betrayed.

(How did Jon know that? What did that even mean?)

Jon swallowed and stepped into view.

Jonah raised his eyebrows. “There you are, Jon.”

“Hello, sir,” said Jon. “I’m afraid of you, but you said not to look away, so… so I’m here.”

And that, clearly, was the right thing to say. Jonah’s eyes lidded. “Well, now—unexpected wisdom from one so young.”

“Thank you, sir.”

Jonah sighed. “She has put me in quite a bind, Jon. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about her.”

“Sir?”

“With anyone else, I would her foolishness as simply being wrong. As judging the situation poorly, betting on the wrong horse. But with Annabelle... she was never wrong. So. Why did she even choose to talk to you, and tell you about supply issues that don’t exist, when surely she must have known how it would end?”

Be careful, whispered everything in Jon’s gut. “Sir, if I knew that, I’d be a lot happier,” said Jon fervently and truthfully. “I don’t like questions with no answer.” Because he didn’t know why it had to be him. Why he’d made some crown and given it away. Why someone else who’d died before it all started couldn’t be the one.

Jonah looked fascinated. “We share that trait. Perhaps we shall discover the answers together, Jon. What do you make of that?”

And Jon said, “As long as you don’t blow up my head, sir, you can do whatever you want.”

Jonah laughed. It was a terrible sound in the middle of communal grief, and many conversations stopped as people stared his way. Jon hunched.

Jonah smiled. “I need to know, Jon. I need to know why you’re here. You’re very lucky.”

“I am?”

“Yes. I will hardly kill you as long as I don’t know.” He reached and squeezed Jon’s shoulder, then loosened again. “If you are very good, I will even tell you what I learn.”

Jon swallowed. “Answers?”

“To anything you ask. Anything at all.”

Such a promise. Jon knew he’d do it, too; there was a voyeuristic quality to it, feeding Jon answers, feeding that hunger they shared.

If Jon just did that, just let Jonah do that, no one would have to die. No, he then told himself. That’s a child’s reasoning. He knew it wasn’t true.

Jonah smiled. “I have answers to almost everything—very nearly—and most certainly anything a fourteen-year-old can conjure up.” His look was fond. Indulgent.

Jon swallowed again. He seemed to be producing a lot of saliva, as if hungry. “I’d like answers,” he whispered.

“Imagine that,” said Jonah. “And I never grow tired of questions. Never. I think we can make good use of the next few years, hm?”

Jon knew he meant it. And he also knew it was a bribe. As if Jonah knew, somehow, that giving Jon a book would shut him up.

To keep you from acting.

Jon swallowed again. “Yes, please.” He kept his breathing slow. He’d learned, long ago when dealing with Amherst and Prentiss and Carnegie, that the appearance of submission was often enough to persuade.

“I feel your hunger,” said Jonah, patting his shoulder, and finally turned away. “I will see to it you are satisfied.”

“Thank you, sir,” said Jon, and somehow made himself stand still while Jonah began talking to other people.

One by one, people came up to them, said some words over Annabelle’s coffin, and tossed something into the enormous fire. It became a whole thing. Everyone required an individual response from Jonah; everyone required a minute at the coffin. Everyone required a moment at the flame.

No one was looking at Jon anymore. 

Jon did not want Martin to die. He did not want Sasha to fall, limp and eye-dulled, dead. He did not want to consider Mike sad at one of these funerals, maybe making it rain. He did not want to think about Tim dying like Carnegie, alone in a chair when he turned thirty.

There was no good choice to make. There was only the right one.

He would do it. This had to end. Carefully, he wandered away. No one looked at him. Not even Jonah watched him go. Jon checked carefully, but no one saw as he slipped away down the stairs.

#

He knew he had little time. Establishing his presence upstairs had taken much of what he had, but it had been necessary. He was sure. He hurried to the floor below the roof—the one he knew was Jonah’s—and pulled his special key from his collar.

It made sense that it had been sent to him now. It all made sense. Jonah’s door unlocked, and Jon hurried inside.

Annabelle Two immediately took point. She crawled down his arm, waved to get his attention, and gestured.

He followed her instructions; followed where she directed. Past enormous and empty living rooms. Past ridiculously appointed bedrooms, with beds like pools. Past the enormous dining space, with one lone place-setting at the head of an gigantic table. Into a library, and here, he faltered. He could just… grab a book. Stuff it in his jacket. No one would know—

Annabelle Two hissed.

He jumped.

She made the no motion.

Jon sighed. “Really?”

She gestured.

With regret, Jon hurried on.

Finally, she brought him to a strange hall. It lacked clothes and furniture. Instead, it was some sort of showcase. Wallpapered in yellow, it had plinths topped with glass cloches, and under each one, something spun—something glowing with power, some object suspended in green, misty swirls and will.

A man was waiting for him here.

Jon froze. He’d never seen the man who stood here before in his life, but he knew. He knew  who it was.

“Hello, Jon,” said Oliver, the Will of the End, who stood ensconced in dark smoke instead of clothes, whose eyes glowed a solid, dark red.

Jon stared. 

The spider gestured.

“Yes,” said Oliver. 

The spider gestured.

“No,” said Oliver.

“What?” said Jon.

Oliver sighed. He looked so weary , now that Jon had a moment to adjust to all the spookiness. The man looked like he hadn’t slept in a year. 

“Are you okay?” said Jon.

Oliver’s face twitched. “So he’s kind.”

The spider gestured.

“That makes this harder,” said Oliver.

“I… I’m sorry, but if you’re not here to stop me, I have to hurry,” said Jon.

“You do, and I’m here to make sure you know how. Did she tell you how to break the crown?”

Jon gasped. “How did you… no, she didn’t.”

“Thanks a lot, Annabelle,” Oliver said drily.

Jon could swear the spider laughed at him.

“What… what do I have to do?” said Jon.

“Take the crown to the top of the tower and throw it off.”

Jon had a strangely clear, separated moment, like one of those memories from his life past. He could almost see it. Almost see that the crown was tied to him in some specific way—something about the way it had been handed over, about misplaced trust, about… about…

It was gone. He couldn’t hold onto it. But he could hold on to this: his whole life led to this moment, to the choice, which he had to make, and it would be terrible to do. For one moment, he was bitterly angry. Wound up, manipulated. Betrayed.

Then he was himself again, and afraid, and unsure he could. “Jonah will kill me,” he whispered.

“Maybe. Unfortunately, it’s the only way.”

It just didn’t seem fair. “If I do this, they’ll all die.”

Oliver sighed. “Yes. I’m sorry—but Jon, it’s only death. We’ll finally be free. Even I will be.”

“You want to die?”

The mist swirled, hiding more of him, but not hiding his face. “I’m tired, Jon. I know that probably makes no sense to you.”

“But… but Martin,” Jon whispered.

“Yes. Probably everyone in the tower.”

Jon shook. “Is it a sacrifice to the End?”

“No. It’s cutting the End off so we can be free.”

He felt sick. “This isn’t like a story.”

“No, it’s not. I’m sorry, Jon. I wish there were another way, but as it is, it’s taking everything everyone has to keep Jonah from just killing you already. The likelihood of him doing it will increase the older you get. This really is the only time you can help us. Save us all, Jonathan Sims. We need you. Please.”

Jon knew he was right. He knew—felt—that somehow, his past self had known about this, too.  It was too much to understand. “Does Jonah know you want to be free?”

“Yes. He doesn’t care. He’s terrified of death, and if I die, so will he.”

“But he’s its Heart.”

“And he’s still terrified of it,” said Oliver, and stepped aside to gesture at one of the cloches.

There it was. The crown. Second from the last, on Jon’s right. Floating. Jon felt it like a gear in his chest. He ached, like it had been twisted right out of him, whole and unblemished. Ached, as if it was his heart, floating in that cloche.

“You’re not afraid to die,” said Oliver. “I can tell.”

“I’ve never been afraid to die,” said Jon.

“That’s how,” said Oliver. “That’s how you got through this without being Aligned. You’re not afraid of anything.”

“Sure I am. And I don’t want to hurt anyone,” said Jon. “Am I really saving the world?”

“Yes.”

“Isn’t there another way?”

“Not that I know of. Jon, you’re almost out of time. Please hurry.”

It wasn’t fair. It was, in fact, horrible. But what choice was there? He believed Annabelle was right; the world would end if he didn’t do this. Everyone would die. Everyone. If he did do it, the world could continue; population could grow again (and he desperately hoped the resources would be there).

But if he did this, Martin would die, too.

No good ending. Only the right one.

He lifted the cloche—carefully—and took the crown. 

It felt so good in his hand. Heavier than it looked, a thick gold band, inset with black stones, and warmer than he’d expected. It fit his grip as if made for it.

“Thank you, Jon,” said Oliver, the Will of the End, and he sounded so sincere.

Jon looked up.

Oliver’s eyes were shiny. “Thank you.”

It was a vulnerability Jon didn’t know how to handle, and he fled. He left, because to stay any longer was to invite disaster. He left, because he could almost understand Oliver’s tiredness, and the full impact of what Oliver had asked him to do. He left, and he tucked the crown into his shirt. It hid neatly beneath his vest, trapped against his thin waist. No one would see it there.

He made his way back up to the death party—back to Annabelle’s funeral—and realized that when Jonah killed him, he wouldn’t get the chance to read the book he’d gotten from Gertrude.

Well. Maybe he would learn things after he died. There was only one way to find out, after all.

chapter twelve

[lemonpepperworld]

I recently got into The Magnus Archives thanks to a friend and I am OBSESSED

I got several people also hooked on it so I’m just spreading the chaos—one of my friends who doesn’t even like horror is listening to it and loving it!!

I’m on episode 90 odd something so season 3, here are my thoughts so far:

I know about the entities, I was told about them and also looked on the Wikipedia pages so I’ve been trying to figure out what each case ties into but I’m not now just figuring out (like ep 93?) that the characters (specifically Jon) are just finding out!! So I’m confused as all hell but it’s so fascinating

I don’t like Tim, I get that that’s the point? He’s not there because he wants to be but I hate that fight with Jon 😭 (I just don’t like fighting tbh) but it makes sense in the storyline plot or whatever

Martin is so silly and precious, as is Jon.

Not sure how I feel about Melanie King but I’m sad about Sasha :(

Also who is Georgie?? I take is she’s a college friend Jon has kept in touch with but what?? She was just there one episode

The Michael entity plot line confuses me but it’s fine and also the voices of the characters sometimes blur especially without faces so sometimes it’s not until like five minutes into someone speaking that I’m like OH THATS WHO THAT IS

Jon feeling like he’s being used by an entity is fascinating

And I have so many questions about everything but I can’t quite form the words so they would be like question marks with increasing volumes of confusion

[archivists-axe]

okay but what if sasha and tim at some point made polaroid photos together.

sasha's idea actually, "it has its own charm".

(he thought that it's more in Martin's style but it doesn't mean that it's bad).

there was two photos, for them both.

over time these photos were forgotten a bit but they still were carefully kept in their photo albums with shiny covers.

after the truth of sasha's death tim is devastated. the circus took away another person in his life and he had no idea.

before the unknowning tim is looking around his flat - that's his last time here, after all. his eye catches the photo album almost unrecognisable under layers of dust. he knows that he will not see the real sasha, not-her will mess with his head again. but maybe somewhere in it will be a precious memory with real her.

and he found that polaroid photo. her favourite square-shaped glasses that she thrifted with him. her long hair ruffled by the wind and tim's hand. her smile showing teeth and making wrinkles.

that's not the sasha he remembers but the sasha he loved.

he cries. he cries all night because he can see her again.

he takes this photo with him. it's placed in shirt's pocket, next to his heart.

he dies with it. and he's glad. he hopes that she liked his little joke.

[oskarwing]

It’s being sad about Sasha James and Tim Stocker hours.

:( They deserved so much better. 

[hi-im-just-a-fan-here]

I love Tim and I love Sasha and I love Martin and I love Jon

Anyway

Fuck Elias

[ao3feed-jonmartin]

Tales from the Archive: Of pranks crushes and tired lunatics

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/XmvZVRk by Vinyara It took Jon all of his self-control not to collapse on a stack of statements from those… people, who mostly just wanted to waste his precious time. A quick glance through them told him who he had to deal with now: Anna Pond (a cursed chair), Mary Higgins (fire ghosts, apparently) and Luke Webber (he couldn’t even read that… faflry???, family???, faeries???), all probably as accurate as the fact that Elias was a good boss. The archival assistants prank Jon. It does not go well. Words: 3229, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English Fandoms: The Magnus Archives (Podcast) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: M/M Characters: Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Martin Blackwood, Sasha James, Tim Stoker (The Magnus Archives) Relationships: Martin Blackwood & Sasha James & Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist & Tim Stoker, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist Additional Tags: Humour, Pranks, Arachnophobia, Book: A Guest for Mr. Spider (The Magnus Archives), Mental Health Issues, Apologies, Panic Attacks, Self-Worth Issues, Fluff and Angst, Elias being a bad boss, we all hate leitner in this house, there isn’t that much jonmartin up to now but i do kinda want to continue this so we’ll see, Texting, group chats read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/XmvZVRk

[lycanlovingvampyre]

MAG 118 Relisten

Activity on my first listen: cutting apples. Again...

Ah, I remember very well when I listened to this episode the first time. Texted my sister twice right there at the start about Martin being sassy! ("Statement ends, I guess" and "Sorry, Elias. I can’t hear you. There’s – a door in the way.")

Trying to get the episodes of the burned statements by memory. Ivo Lensik is MAG 8 Burned Out, Harold Silvana is MAG 35 Old Passages. Dylan Anderson... MAG 103 Cruelty Free?

ELIAS: "Martin, I do not have time for this." MARTIN: "Then maybe you should make time." This is exactly what this is though. Stalling.

JON: "There’s no such thing as just cobwebs." Everybody sighs, but he is right. Usually in horror cobwebs are just a way to say "Hey, nobody's really been here in a long time, Oooohooo". In TMA though, it's never just that.

Benjamin Hatendi. MAG 86? Definitely the blanket episode though. God, what's it called... Tucked In?

MARTIN: "Oh, so that’s it, isn’t it. Martin’s just acting out. I mean, Daisy’s a “rabid dog,” and Melanie’s a potential killer, Tim’s a – a rogue element, but Martin, oh Martin’s just acting out. He’ll have a cry, and a lie down, and feel much better." Ah yes. He's not being taken seriously and wholly underestimated.

Albrecht von Closen is easy, MAG 23 Schwarzwald.

ELIAS: [TAKES A DEEP BREATH.] "Did Jon put you up to this?" I mean, kind of. In MAG 103 Jon asked Daisy if they could somehow get Elias arrested. Martin was the one, who found a way to actually get to the evidence.

ELIAS: "Please get to the point, Martin." MARTIN: "Maybe there isn’t one. Alright? Maybe –" ELIAS: "Maybe you’re just wasting my time." MARTIN: "Yeah. Yeah, maybe." Haha, exactly that. But Elias knew this already.

JON: "Oh god… Oh god, they’re not waxworks." Haha, classic 2005 House of Wax.

I don't quite understand why Jon suddenly wants to see what's going on in the auditorium though. Is Snoop God sniffing out potential fear if they look at the entire horror of it?

TIM: "Holy –" JON: "Yes. I suppose it is." Ok this... was not a joke on Jon's part I think... I mean, Tim also said that dancing performance Grimaldi and his brother was beautiful. And even if Jon's trying to do his best to keep his humanity, he is still aligned with a terrifying Eldritch entity. He also finds the Mortal Garden beautiful, if I remember correctly (tbh, I also thought that was pretty rad...)

JON: "And I guess you don’t need skin to sing." (shaky breath) "To join the choir." ... Is everyone thinking what I'm thinking... Was Danny in the choir?

MARTIN: "Not even close. Because, I – (composes himself) I’ve been thinking. It’s not like you got this all-seeing thing recently. You’ve had it the whole time. I remember the way you looked at Sasha after the attack. You knew it wasn’t her. And I reckon you knew Prentiss was lurking under the Institute, too, and you did nothing. Why?" On my first listen I thought, okay, when it's being addressed in the show, there's no way these are plotholes...

MARTIN: "Well, I hope you’ve got something better than that pathetic dig at my feelings for Jon." ELIAS: "It’s baffling, really. Such loyalty to someone who really treats you very badly." MARTIN: "Oh, is that supposed to be, what, a revelation?" ELIAS: "You know, I really should have gone for that. Found something that would finally manage to shatter that precious image you have of him. But, as you say I am very busy at the moment. So I suppose I’ll have to go with what I had prepared." Nah, Elias is also rooting for them. And he doesn't need to poke any further, he's got Peter on the job for that. And the bit about "who really treats you very badly"? Yes, Jon did. Past tense. Jon really did a 180 on that front by the end of S2. Still, it's a good way for further manipulation. Sowing seeds of doubt, that Jon still doesn't like him.

ELIAS: "The thing is, though, Martin. If you ever do want to know exactly what your father looked like… All you have to do is look in a mirror. The resemblance is quite uncanny. The face of the man she hates, who destroyed her life, watching over her." This is something I have asked myself, like, how often something like this actually happens in rl. I'm guessing it's a huge taboo. Losing your partner and getting reminded of them everytime you see your child(ren). Doesn't have to be hate, like in this instance. Grief will also do. Or turn it around. Everytime the child sees a photograph of themself, they are reminded of the parent because of their resemblance. There's something similar explored in The Babadook (2014). The father died in a car accident while driving his wife in labor to the hospital. And she resents the child. Blames him for the death of her husband. It's great (I mean, not in rl), I love it when bad relationships get explored in fiction. And especially parent-children structures make it so difficult, because the child is completely dependent on the parent. That just adds another layer to it.

Alex does such a good job at that terrified crying...

I think this was one of the strongest scenes in all TMA. Writing- and acting-wise.

JON: "I knew none of us might be coming back, and I’m not going to let anyone get killed for nothing!" TIM: "Well, except for those people in there." JON: "They’re already dead!" TIM: "Not all of them." Ah yes, TMA and the trolley problem.

JON: (sudden yell, followed by immediate realization of need to whisper) "I am not losing you as well!" T_T

That warped "Aaahh" from the Archives crew. The music picking up. It is absolutely clear what's happening there. Like being hit by a Weirdness Bubble.

In these last moments Jon seems to still have some remaining clarity. While the others are already confused, he still knows who Daisy is for example. And he seems to still have some sense of self ("Daisy, it's me"). So yeah, Elias preparation to See has worked quite well, Jon did have it a bit easier. I mean, this is all or nothing.

@a-mag-a-day

[inklingofadream]

Question about the cult au: I feel like I remember Gerry saying that if he'd found jon before Jonah, he would have tried to convince the eye that it would be better to leave Jon alone so he could "observe him in the wild" or something like that. Not sure if I'm remembering correctly, but what would have happened if Gerry had found jon first do you think?

Sorry for not answering yesterday, our internet was out! You're absolutely remembering correctly!

Very long post, but not putting in a cut because I don't feel like it

So Gerry finding Jon first is totally plausible because when Jonah has speaking engagements whoever comes with- usually Gerry and Michael- hangs around on campus chatting and trying to start developing people into prospective future members or meals. The speaking engagements are recurring, usually a couple times a year at any given institution, so they often have the opportunity to talk to people several times over the course of a year or two to convince them gradually to join

This has varying success; Actual Golden Retriever Michael Shelley is pretty good at this! Gerry doesn't believe in subtlety/doesn't like tricking people, significantly lowering their success rate via "this is actually, openly a cult. do you want to join our cult?"

So I think that's how they would run into Jon. Crucially, I don't think that this scenario is less morally suspect and invasive. It's more a difference in how much it influences Jon's life. Stalking is technically probably less bad than kidnapping, but it's not great. A fair few people from the Institute end up suddenly spending a lot of time in Oxford. Potentially, someone gets some personal details shifted around/forged and Jonah pulls some strings to get someone like Gerry and/or Michael enrolled. They do that occasionally, because a wide knowledge base keeps the Institute fairly self-sufficient and a good job on the outside brings in money. Probably Gerry, because he can like... function in human society better and has a tiny bit of existing rapport with Jon from their first encounter.

But I don't think Jonah and maybe Gertrude stop pushing for the relocate-Jon plan. I feel like as part of the "see but not understand" thing the Eye latches on when someone first has an idea, so having Jon In The Wild is more appealing the same way having him in the Institute was more appealing in the fic. It isn't choosing strategically, it's picking the first answer presented to it. If other avatars find out about Jon it's game over, he's going to the Institute.

So I think it's less he never gets kidnapped than it is just a VASTLY more disturbing and upsetting lead up. Instead of having 5 seconds of being accosted at his front door, it's months and months getting to know Gerry, and to a lesser extent Michael or one of the Stokers who sans the insta-friends chemistry with Jon, being friends with Gerry, inviting Gerry to his and Georgie's movie nights. Maybe there are even some dates, feeling out the do-we-want-to-be-just-friends vs actually we're an awesome couple. For both of them, maybe, the same one night stand and teasing flirting as with canon Sasha but with Georgie if it's Tim, or Michael or Danny doing a couple dates because Georgie's trying a bunch of things out in the wake of the breakup (Sasha can't be the partner, because her family only joined when she was 14 and non-Gerry members with experience as outsiders don't get to leave the Institute)

Gerry, for the first time in his life, has a social circle of people more or less his own age without any baggage from who his parents were. It's all very real for him, but he can't ignore or forget why he's here, how close both him and Jon are to losing that at any given moment. Maybe he even lets on a little bit of The Spookiness somehow and they have a little sharing circle about Mr. Spider and the dead body and Mary's Leitner collection. It's all very real for him, it's very precious, it's very easy to forget why he's here even with Beholding giving him butterflies every time Jon looks at him. It's an inevitable betrayal that he does not want to do but must

I think maybe, when something happens- maybe something spooky that makes it feel like being free is Not Safe for Jon, maybe someone has some loose lips and lets on to someone at the Usher Foundation or Pu Songling Reseach Centre or worse, someone not directly allied with the Institute- things go very differently.

Gerry isn't just in love-by-proxy with Jon, he knows him. He knows how terrible it is to be sucked into the Institute- he only chose to do so because he was very young and didn't have a single other option, no support system, nothing. Just Mary getting worse and worse, increasingly clear that she was working up to something dangerous and that she did not care if Gerry got hurt in the process. Gerry joined the institute after much thought and negotiation- not usually part of the proceedings but Gerry was someone they wanted more than usual, Eric leaving made them look weak and having Gerry back, even in a situation that sets him apart from everyone else in terms of privileges and allowances, alleviated that "failure". If Gerry had another option he would not have done it- thus the tattoos, ensuring that even more than the contract, Gerry is stuck with them. Jon has options, Gerry knows he has options, he has so much potential and has hopes and dreams and could live a long, happy life never setting foot in the Institute. He has everything Gerry wished he had when he had to choose between signing over his soul or letting Mary wear him down and down and down, carving away bits to test a Leitner, to gain access to things, trying out things that she doesn't want to test on herself, being a regular abusive parent in addition to the spooky stuff

And Gerry has been giving updates on Jon, talking about him and his life. Other cult members are intermittently watching from afar or constructing accidental encounters with him. Gerry knows, the cult knows, that Jon isn't close to many people, but he is close to Georgie. (Behind the scenes, much drama about Being Friends With Your Ex, debating if Georgie is something like a saint due to proximity and friendliness with Jon or the worst because she blasphemously broke up with him (it was a mutually decided breakup, but they sooo don't care.)) I think when they take Jon, they take all Jon accoutrements: if he's been there long enough that they got the planned cat, the cat comes with; Jon's books? coming with; Jon's clothes? favorite pieces come with, because Jonah has decided to be Weird about Jon's clothing and doesn't want too many Frightfully Normal clothes competing; Jon's bedding? he mentioned the Sensory Nightmare of finding replacement sheets that don't Cause Problems because of Texture to Gerry, so the bedding comes but is turned over to Jonah and Gertrude so they can determine what makes a good texture to Jon, RIP the kitty cat flannel sheets Georgie gave him as a half-joke birthday gift.

Georgie is the accessory that comes with your Jon doll. Georgie is coming to the cult. Georgie is having a Really Weird Time, because like... they don't have an endgame. People want to get close to her because of Jon- she doesn't blame Jon, but a lot of that S4 energy is coming out in reaction to other people, and probably results in one or two blowups at Jon rather than anyone else (escalating into a two-way shouting match because Jon is also having Big Emotions). Gerry's name is mud. Jonah, Regency weirdo extraordinaire, is Even Weirder about clothes for her. Jonah's kept up with The Fashion for men, because he needs to fit in on the outside. But a LOT of the time women raised in the cult spend on the outside is if someone is getting a degree to help the cult somehow, and like... you can just Do Whatever on a college campus. There was a guy at mine who wore a Union Soldier reproduction Civil War uniform all the time. It's fine if they look a bit odd, because they have the full time they're studying to figure out what professional attire etc look like.

When Jonah is weird about Jon's clothes, it's very deliberate; know the rules before you break them and such. Georgie gets fancied up for stuff like presenting them to the cult, but it's a hapless sort of weird. Her everyday cult wardrobe was picked out by a combination of Gerry and Gertrude, but Jonah's a control freak about the semi-regular Looking At Jon events. It's a mix of Back In My Day leftovers and whatever random bits of women's fashion he absorbed over the last 200 years. Like as far as underpinnings, we are absolutely not talking about anything more modern than a girdle. Creeper measurements gained while they're drugged or the Eye being able/deciding to share when Jonah wants them have not been used responsibly. Probably there is someone in London still making corsets for sale, if you look. Georgie is allowed to complain about a properly fitted corset, it's not stereotyping the past or being ignorant of how they work, it is actually a coercive and at least half-sexist situation for her. The only good news is that Jonah wants to focus on the event and Jon, so he just sics Sasha on her to play lady in waiting instead of becoming part of that process himself.

I don't think Georgie ever really forgives Gerry and co. All the S4 stuff with not acknowledging the intractability of the situation bc it's never spelled out in so many words and it's easier to be angry, it's safer to detach herself, it's frightening to think about how permanent this is, she doesn't have space to give grace to these people or read into the subtext of how little choice they have. Jon is kept separate from Georgie except for Good Behavior, he's in the thick of it and does not have a support system to be picky about. Georgie isn't operating in a place of fear, she can't, but Jon is. They end up being very careful about that conversation, because they're afraid of what'll happen to Georgie if she and Jon have a friendship breakup, they know and trust each other to be ride or die (if out of touch Georgie lets Jon be a fugitive at her place current daily presence Georgie is not going to let something she knows is not at ALL Jon's fault change that) but having an audience means walking on eggshells. So I think Jon does his best to get over the betrayal and ends up sliding back into friendliness because it's the best of a bad lot, he will actually go insane otherwise. Georgie I don't think ends up at more than a stalemate with Sasha (who she sees a lot bc of the Jon inner circle she's The Girl and, again, Jonah's an old-fashioned weirdo). Jon agitates for more freedom for Georgie, but they're still trapped.

The other bright spot is that I don't think they lose the Stokers. Escape means getting BOTH of them out. Gerry lets on how futile getting in touch with the cops is in a Super Normal Non=Suspicious Way. Even if the cops were helpful, TARDIS bigger-on-the-inside secret building addition is not the kind of place you can get a search warrant for. If Georgie gets out on her own, no one is coming back for Jon (Jon tries to convince her to do it anyway), and if Jon escapes alone... he just can't. What would they do to Georgie? He knows, experiences and is increasingly aware, that Jonah can be vicious and petty. Georgie is not valuable on her own. Maybe she'd be fine, because they need bait to get Jon back, but "alive" is an awfully low bar when Jonah could use anything in Artefact Storage on her, can whittle ties to life down to the tiniest thread if he wants. The logistics are too complicated. If Danny breaks Jon out, he insists they go for Georgie and they don't make it out. They trip something, Jonah shows up, and the Stokers are saved by a) plausible deniability, Jon is cut off from everyone because of things like this, giving him things Jonah doesn't want him to have and b) Jon just like. hanging off the Stokers. All misgivings abandoned, Stokers is my best friend now.

So all in all I don't think it's better for Jon, it's just different.

[kalaidosnail]

Distortion!Sasha! From The Archivists’ Chat, in which they decide that all of them should record Statements actually, Jon and Tim are having a BadTimetm, and Martin is trying his best <3. She’s so very precious to me, uuuh, yeah this drawing was real quick.