#till then i dream of The Drama

[kindlysludger]

am i the only one thats like pretty sure that your first dimension 20 campign you Finish finish watching all the way through no stops is like. baby's first but also your child. your darling angel. something that will irrevocably change and shape you.

mine was a court of fey and flowers and it changed me so bad that not Only is my d&d game rooted in fey dramatics- but my next campaign will most likely play in primarily a system that allows for Proper Regency Drama

i need to know if this experience is singular so desperately how did your first finished d20 campaign change you

[smittenskitten]

[unproduciblesmackdown]

hey mordecai, why do the savoys call you babygirl..................and send you a special invitation to their hotel room b/c they already Get you so well, where they're like, sure we just met last week but it's like we've known each other all our lives, let's stay together forever. getting down on one knee, with a knife,

[liquidstar]

anyway i keep thinking about this scene from alien stage round 3

based on the flashbacks ivan, much like all the other contestants, has been abused by the aliens his entire life. he seems to have taken this passively, he was almost pampered after being sold off, and has just spent his life bowing his head despite it all.

on the other hand, till is the opposite, he's always been rebellious which has constantly gotten him harsh punishments. and that seems to be the reason ivan fell in love with him to begin with, when he witnessed him stand up to that alien guard (?) when they were kids. notably it seemed to be in defense of mizi, but that wasn't really what mattered to ivan at the time.

the meteor shower flashback seems to take place years later though, theyre probably teenagers now, and till was facing a punishment for a completely different offense. but that was the time that ivan found the courage to free him and they ran out into the night with the falling stars.

and they looked so happy! look at them! this was their first taste of real freedom, and it was probably ivan's first real act of rebellion. but eventually, for till, the realization sets in. he left mizi behind. yes she has sua, but he's probably been protecting her behind the scenes for a long time. and he goes back.

till was probably always somewhat capable of escape on his own with his rebellious streak, he just... chose not to. he cant leave mizi, he loves her. even if she loves sua he wants to be there for her. but the thing is... ivan turned back too. because even if till loves mizi he still wants to be there for him.

and obviously it hurts, like, his face in that last shot is such a pained smile. neither of them want to go back but theyre bound by love for someone who doesnt love them back. and i think ivan already knows hes going to go back with till anyway, because of course he is.

also, because i have no where else to put this, THAT SONG WAS SO GOOD full version release now thank you

[mrskokushibo]

After Party

Part 2 of Dinner Party

Kyojuro x fem!reader x Sanemi

Warnings: Sex, Smut, NSFW, MDNI, 18+, Threesome, Anal, Oral, The Works.

Summary: After the DInner Party orgy it is time to face the consequences because, let's face it, you have been naughty, and Kyojuro has to show you who is the boss.

Masterlist

It was well past midday the following day when you eventually left Tengen’s place after a very long night. Out of exhaustion, everyone slept in till near lunchtime.

Well at home, as soon as you entered through the door, you found yourself on your knees, Kyoujuro stuffing his cock down your throat.

‘You disappointed me tonight, my love’

Kyo spoke in the softest of voices, while gently moving your hair away from your face, twisting it around his wrist to get a better grip. He lifted your chin up so that you could look him in the eyes. You wanted to answer, but your mouth was too full and all you could do is look at him pleadingly.

‘Just like that’ he started bucking his hips into you, with one thrust slightly too deep making you gag heavily. He let you pull away and find composure. When you did it was your turn to speak.

‘It’s not like you weren’t in on it. You seemed happy fucking away.’

He smirked holding your head up again.

‘But you see, this is not what I am aiming at. It’s your little interaction with Tengen that I have a problem with. That was more than just fucking, if you may ask me.’

‘You are mistaken’ you retaliated.

You were eyeing off his dick hungrily as both the situation you were in now and the memory of Tengen’s fond treatment of you was making you horny as fuck. You reached out for his cock, but Kyo blocked your movement.

‘Ah ah ah, not so fast my dear. If you want it you will need to ask nicely. See it as an apology, a part of it at least.’

‘Please Kyo, can I suck your cock’

you said in a slightly irritated voice. All you wanted was to feel his large shaft fill your mouth and here he was creating drama.

‘No, my love, not like this. You sound like a brat. Say it NICELY.’

He still had a hold on your hair and was holding your head up.

You resigned, looking him in the eye with the sweetest of expressions and batting your eyelids, you murmured in a sultry voice:

‘Please, my dearest husband, let me suck your cock and drink your cum. I dream of it…’

‘Definitely better.’

And with that, he guided you back to his groin and let your mouth and throat engulf him.

You could tell, he was not far from coming, the exchange must have aroused him quite a bit. It seemed as if he was discovering a more dominant side of himself and did not mind you being his submissive bitch.

You pushed him lightly toward the nearest wall, to grant him more support and he closed his eyes as he leaned his head back on the wall. You were now working frenetically on his cock, making him twitch and grow, the lewd wet little sucking and gagging sounds and muffled moans were driving him to the point of no return. He grabbed your head and bucked his hips into you, filling your tight throat with a huge load of his salty juices, as he rode out his orgasm and emptied himself completely, he slowly pulled out and squatted down in fatigue. You grabbed his head and kissed him passionately.

‘Mmmm, baby, you were so good’

he whispered, still catching his breath.

‘Give me a moment and I will reward you’

You continued to kiss him as his breath was slowly steadying. He now got up and pulled you up with him. He then picked you off the ground and you wrapped your legs around his hips. He carried you like this to the nearby bedroom, where you almost ripped each other’s clothes off.

You were now on the bed with Kyo’s head between your legs, kissing you softly on your wet folds. He snaked his tongue between them and licked your opening while rubbing your little hard bud. You were close to edging due to your long-standing arousal. The feeling of Kyoujuro working on you like that was making you dizzy, your eyes rolling to the back of your head.

‘I am sorry, my love, but I need to be inside you.’

With this, he crawled on top of you and put you in a mating press. Squeezing you together like a ragdoll he positioned himself hovering above you. His cock entered you seamlessly and you could feel the tip press on your cervix. Your moans were loud and hoarse, this felt so bloody good.

‘I will breed you, my little wifey. Would you like me to fuck a baby into you?’

he asked through gritted teeth while pumping into you like a maniac, his balls slapping your ass. ‘Yes…please Kyo… breed me. Pump me full of your cum!’

You were nearly screaming out the last bit and after that, you dissolved into a powerful orgasm, taking away any last bit of sense and decency, you screamed like a savage. Kyo kept on pumping into your puffy cunt, while your clenching muscles were milking him relentlessly toward his imminent release.

‘I’m….commming’

He groaned through gritted teeth and with flexing and clenching abs, he produced a last powerful thrust into you, emptying his balls once again. A few last slow pumps and he collapsed on top of you panting heavily.

‘Fuck, I needed this. Thank you’

He placed a kiss on your forehead and soon sprung up on the way to the shower.

After you showered, and came out to the kitchen, he was waiting for you with a cup of coffee. He was leaning against the kitchen counter as he handed you the cup, looking at you with a devilish spark in his eyes.

‘You know, as much as I enjoyed myself in there, I am still not sure your apology was enough for me. So, I decided we should have part two of it tonight… You owe me that much for drooling over Tengen.’

He grinned and continued:

‘I would recommend that you prep yourself … back there. I have plans for you.’

He smirked with the most innocent of looks in his eyes.

‘You may want to doll yourself up too, wear something sexy, the less the better if you know what I mean.’

You lifted your eyebrows but felt too relaxed to protest or discuss.

‘Ok, Kyo. What time are we going, though? I have stuff to do?’

‘Seven o’clock. We can go out and eat beforehand and that will give you plenty of time for whatever you need to do and … for the prep’

He grinned.

The afternoon went by quickly and soon you were done with your dinner and in a cab on the way to the mysterious destination aka part two of your apology to your husband.

The taxi came to a halt and you noted that it arrived at a back alley in the middle of town. After paying the cab driver and watching the taxi slowly roll away through the alleyway, Kyo walked you up to a heavy metal gate and punched in a code. The gate opened surprisingly smoothly and inside was a modern and well-lit staircase. You walked up in silence and very soon you arrived at your destination. There was only one door at the top of the short stairway and you could hear loud heavy metal music blasting from inside whatever was behind the door. A club? Very well hidden in that case. Kyo rang the bell and a moment later Sanemi appeared at the opening door.

‘Hi bro. You made it’ he said with a nod.

‘Oh, hi there, y/n’

He looked you up and down hungrily.

‘I like your outfit’

His directness was always a bit much for you, but yes, your outfit would be to his liking since you obeyed your husband’s strict directions about less being more.

He let you both in and went over to turn down the aggressive music.

His apartment surprised you, as it was very neat and stylish. You honestly did not know what you expected out of Sanemi’s lair, but most likely not for it to be this tidy. It was a large, open-plan space with bare brick walls disclosing the industrial heritage of the building. At the very back you could make out an industrial-style kitchen with black and stainless-steel furnishings and expensive appliances. There was a gigantic sound system on one side of the room, along with a large TV and an array of gaming consoles. All walls were covered with band posters and guitars and in the middle of the room stood a huge, minimalistic, black leather sofa, with a few faux fur blankets casually thrown to soften the otherwise angular form of the furniture. It looked expensive, like something out of a high-end Scandi catalogue.

Sanemi left the music on a low volume and you had to admit that the heavy-sounding melodies played by low-tuned guitars, blasting drums, and pumping base with a deep, raspy singing on top, were putting you in a bit of a trans. It was very masculine and surprisingly arousing.

Kyo lounged himself on the sofa and you sat down next to him. Sanemi came back with the drinks, handed them over, and sat down next to you, a little too close for comfort. He was looking straight at you, running his gaze up and down your face and chest.

While eyeing you off, he addressed Kyojuro

‘So, does y/n know why you guys are here?’

‘No, not yet, but she is sure to find out soon.’

He fired off the sweetest of smiles and you felt wetness start to pool between your legs as you realised what they were up to.

‘You are, aren’t you, babe?’

He lowered his voice as he leaned down to kiss the side of your neck. Sanemi wasn’t keeping you waiting either, as he put his hand on your thigh, moving it slowly up your leg with a vicious smirk, all the while not taking his gaze from yours. He swallowed, thin nostrils flaring and eyes gleaming with lust

‘You see, I would like to try and do what we didn’t have a chance to enjoy last night. Kyo ensured me you would be well prepped this time.’

Now it was your turn to swallow. You and Kyo were no strangers to anything that had to do with sex, but having Sanemi fuck you back there felt a bit intimidating. He was, after all quite rough. Not that this behaviour was now not spreading onto your otherwise so gentle and overbearing husband… But still…

You were left with no time to ponder as Kyo moved his hands to your breasts, cupping them and massaging them with just the right amount of pressure to make you wet between your legs, where Sanemi’s hand was already working on your clothed pussy. Your juices were leaking uncontrollably, soon causing the fabric of your panties to be completely soaked.

‘These are useless now’

the silver-blond man chuckled yanking on your g-string and pulling them down off you and around your high-heeled boots.

‘Sexy shoes’

he smirked while stroking the supple leather of your tight, black knee-high boots. His hand and attention once again moving back to your pussy. With one swift push, he snaked his fingers between your folds, scissoring them open and starting rubbing vigorously between your labia, all the while your gorgeous blond husband was kissing you and massaging your tits, while bucking his clothed dick into the fat of your ass.

Sanemi pressed two fingers into your wet pussy and started pumping fast.

‘Common, babe, moan for me.’

You were already moaning, but the obedient girl that you were you increased your volume and intensity, an easy feat since your arousal was hitting new peaks. That is when Kyojuro started to remove your skimpy top and Sanemi was sliding your mini skirt off you. Kyo unclipped your bra and you were now completely naked, wearing only your sexy leather boots.

‘Now, this is a really good look for you, sweetheart’

Sanemi leaned back, admiring you, but talking in such a condescending tone that was slowly hitting all the submissive spots in your brain.

‘What do you want me to do?’

You asked in a sweet tone, first looking at Sanemi and then turning your head in question to your husband.

‘I think I will take her pussy first and you can give her your dick to suck on.’

‘With pleasure’ the silver-haired man chuckled.

They both started to remove their clothes and you could do nothing but get even hornier at the sight you were presented with. Effortlessly flexing muscles, perfect abs, and toned chests, and then the dicks. Both were huge, Sanemi slightly longer and completely straight as compared to Kyojuros shorter with a slight upward curve. The girths were about the same, but Sanemi’s cock was veinier and somehow looked rougher than Kyo’s.

Kyojuro pulled you to him, positioning you on all four so that your mouth was just above the now sitting-down Sanemi, whose legs were widespread and he was presenting you his manhood in a leisurely and shameless manner.

‘Common, sweetheart. Suck it for me, will ya?’

He whispered stroking your cheek. Immediately, you did as you were told, sinking your mouth onto his long cock. Your delicate tongue licking up his veiny underside and teasing his sensitive tip. Sanemi groaned in pleasure tilting his head back and holding you by the back of your neck. In the meantime, Kyoujuro lifted your ass up and positioned his hard tip at your entrance, sliding himself into you, stretching you out in a delicious manner. By now, you loved the feeling of more than one man fucking you. There was something so primal about it. A complete and utter submission, and yet it was empowering, knowing you were able to give pleasure to two or more men at the same time.

You were sucking Sanemi at the rhythm set by Kyoujuro, every thrust sending you forward to swallow his dick down your tight throat. Your moaning on his dick was sending vibrations through the sensitive organ making him grit his teeth and grab your neck tighter, choking you lightly. The pace of your husband’s dick slamming into your walls was getting faster now, with your walls clenching in desperation for a release, you realised he must be very close now. The same went for Sanemi since your mouth was working him faster and deeper due to Kyo’s increased pace.

In the meantime, your puffy cunt could not take anymore and you climaxed, shaking uncontrollably due to the overstimulation as Kyo simply kept on pumping into you, chasing his own release. They kept on going like this for a while until you noticed Sanemi look up toward Kyo and lift his eyebrows while making a jacking-off gesture and pointing to your mouth. You could feel Kyo pull out of you and at the same time Sanemi loosened the grip on your neck letting you pull away.

‘Sit down, precious doll’

Kyo commanded with a honey-dripping voice, while pumping his dick.

‘We want you to show us how hungry you are’

He gave you the sweetest smile and moved closer to you, Sanemi replicating the same motion on your other side. Both men were now kneeling on the sofa next to either side of you, pumping their large dicks next to your mouth.

‘Open up, kitten’

You opened your mouth and stretched out your greedy little tongue.

Kyo was the first one to come, spraying thick ropes of cum into your mouth and onto your tongue, some landing on your face, Sanemi followed suit a few seconds later and you swallowed just as eagerly, lapping up every drop you could reach from around your mouth and lips.

‘That’s a good girl. Taking us so nicely. You like the taste of cum, don’t ya?’

Sanemi took over the slightly demeaning praise, his voice cooing mockingly.

‘Such a pretty face, even prettier painted with cum. Clean us up now, will you?’

And you slowly went down to lick their cocks clean, the taste of your combined juices making you delirious. As you were working away, you could feel their cocks twitching, rebounding for another round.

‘I think I would like to have a go with that tight little ass of hers’

Sanemi said and Kyo nodded.

‘Get some lube and get going then’

Kyo instructed, leaving you in shock at how careless he was getting with you.

Sanemi got up and walked to the kitchen, coming back with a bottle of oil and three beers.

‘Hey, have a drink while I work her up to it.’

He was now kneeling behind you, spreading the fat of your ass with his large, rough hands. Kyo was drinking while giving your nipple a squeeze, making you moan into your drink. Sanemi poured some oil on your lower back, letting it run in between your ass cheeks, and with skilled fingers started caressing your puckering hole.

‘So fucking tight. So pretty. God, this makes me so damn horny.’

He kept on massaging you, while Kyo moved his hand down between your legs to rub your little hard bud getting a throaty moan from your swollen lips as a reaction. He kept on alternating between rubbing circles around it and giving it an occasional rub, while Sanemi was working you up finger by finger, until he was sure you could accommodate his large cock there back.

‘Ok Kyo, I am ready to go. This will be tight.’

Kyo understood the gist and kneeling in front of you, pushed himself into your pussy, staying there motionless to allow Sanemi to get into position. You could feel Sanemis’s cock at the entrance to your ass. You were breathing heavily.

’Try to relax for me, kitten. This will hurt a little, but then it is pure bliss from there. Trust me’

He started moving and the pressure of his cock was slowly prying your muscle open, inch by inch, painful at first, but then the sensation became something absolutely perfect, a visceral pleasure, a pressure screaming for release.

‘Fuck, you are so tight’ Sanemi was groaning through gritted teeth as he kept pushing in. ‘Fuuuck!’

When he bottomed out, you felt the fullest you ever felt in your life. You were slowly drifting off, drool pooling in your mouth and eyes rolling back in your head. This was almost too much.

’I can’t, this is… this is…I am ….so full...’ you were moaning almost incomprehensively.

‘It’s ok, doll’ Kyo whispered.

‘You can do it’

And with that, both men started moving, two large cocks slamming in and out of you, almost in rhythm with the bass pumping in the background. The squelching of your pussy and the skin-slapping noises were adding to the atmosphere. You were almost in a trance now, losing all control of yourself. Being filled with two dicks like this was making you feel more than you thought was possible. You were filled and stretched to the limit, making you almost dumb with arousal.

You didn’t even understand what spots their dicks were hitting, but the hardness inside your plush walls was making you give in to your extasy little by little. A few thrusts later and you were coming down in another orgasm. Completely fucked out and dumb from all the pleasure, you were now just barely holding up, supported by both men’s strong shoulders.

‘Fuck, you are tight y/n. I am not gonna last much longer’

Sanemi almost whimpered. His thrusts were now slower than Kyoujuro’s, in a futile attempt to delay his orgasm, but your tight muscle was too much for him and soon enough he filled your ass with his cum

‘Fuuuuuuuuck!’ He growled out while climaxing.

As he carefully pulled out, Kyoujuro did the same and pushed you down and crawled on top of you. His weight was almost crushing you as he was rutting into you like crazy, grabbing your breast with one hand and stroking your cheek with the other.

‘I will fill you up again, ok? Would you like that?’

You nodded in reply as he kept on going, crazy as he was with the desire to release himself. He was going like this for quite a while, pumping harder and faster, you both moaning and breathing heavily. Finally, you could feel his abs contract and he filled you up with his warm seed.

The three of you were now lying flat on the sofa, slowly steadying your breathing. You were all in a lull, being completely spent from nearly two hours of intense fucking. The heavy music was now soothing you and you gently tapped Sanemi on the shoulder.

‘Hey, can you raise the volume and get us some beer?’

‘Sure y/n. Glad you like the music. But holy fuck… this was good’ Sanemi chuckled as he picked up the remote to raise the volume.

Banners by @adornedwithlight @cafekitsune

Tagging: @horror4themasses @muzansfangs

[anadiasmount]

fireplace talks - jude bellingham x reader.

quick sum: after a eventful holiday dinner, your boyfriend shares his most devoted love language with you by the fireplace.

wc: 1.2k | masterlist | jude’s masterlist

psa 🗣️: EEEWKK okay i literally love this idk why, it’s just so fluffy and warm, ughh… i love the holidays and bf! jude has a special place in mi corazon!! 🤍🤍

“i want to be as close as possible,” jude frowned as he fixed his position, his forehead resting on your neck as his cheek squished against your skin, feeling his heavy sigh as he finally found that spot. his arm was around you as he played with the tiny “j” necklace on you. you felt and heard his soft breaths as a silent air passed.

you both had decided to host a small holiday party in your home, for everyone to celebrate and get together. your friends, some of his teammates, and their family, it was a full house. but it was just those dinners you dreamed of as a kid, no drama just full-on getting along, with a holiday spirit.

what you most looked forward to was the fireplace to which you hadn’t used yet and waited off till tonight's dinner. it had been a funny but difficult task to do, jude struggling with the wood and its attempt to turn it on, hearing small groans and curses from time to time, when in reality all it needed was a bit of gas and old newspaper.

jude had helped you move around furniture and the dining table to fit everyone setting the table cover and its runner, in the kitchen he also helped you with slicing fruit and veggies and stirred the pots. his old rock music played in the back, grabbing you from time to time to dance and spin you as he sang.

yet during the dinner, jude and you were strangers. not intentionally, but you both tended to ensure everyone you loved and cared about felt comfortable and not left out. he did assist with setting the table with the food and extra plates. you greeted everyone as you finished a spicy sauce for the meal, took pictures, and captured core memories.

the evening went from a loud chatter to quiet conversations while drinking some hot chocolate or tea. some of you were inside, or others outside as jude liked to show off the patio he had rebuilt and constructed after moving in. you could hear the tiny kids running as the played tag or hide and seek, or colored in the coloring books you bought for them.

but now it was just you and jude, after saying goodbyes jude had moved his white couch closer to the fireplace where he felt the warmth after purposely turning down the heater. “geez, why is it so cold?” you shivered as you ran your hands over your shoulders. “Don’t know, come here, its warm,” jude said as he showed you the set up of pillows and a huge comforter.

as much as jude loved to be a big spoon, he loved being a small spoon as well, which is why he felt most safe and warm like this on top of you. the room filled with the sound of wood burning and the smell of ashes as it fumed. “you tired?” jude asked, as you had stopped scratching the back of his neck.

“not one bit,” you laughed.

“thank you for everything you did for me and our guests today, i know how much work and dedication you put in for this to be perfect,” jude spoke as he looked up and saw your eyes glow with the fireplace. “it was such a perfect evening, and we both needed it.”

“we truly did, i’m just thankful everything turned out as planned. everyone loved the spritz cranberry drinks, and the cookies you baked, but shh, they don’t have to know they're store-bought,” you motioned with your finger against your lips. jude let out a small laugh and propped himself against your chest.

“what are you thinking now?” you rolled your eyes playfully.

“what do you mean? i'm just sitting up,” jude defended.

“uh uh, you've had this look since our guest arrived and you know me, and i have to know. so tell me,” you pressed, jude shaking his head as he grinned. “i’m just extra thankful for this christmas this year… last year we were barely getting to know each other and i almost fucked that up,” jude grimaced as he scratched his head awkwardly.

it was true! jude and you had slowly distanced yourself from each other after some small miscommunication and you almost ended things because you felt like he didn’t want you anymore. but jude didn’t give up, he made sure to tell and express just how much you meant to him, and since then you’ve been inseparable.

“this year, you’re mine finally, and i get to spend my favorite holiday with you, wrapped up like this,” jude snuggled back and tickled you, hearing your burst of laughter. “i’m serious, just makes me think, this is just the start of something that will last forever,” jude whispered. “i hope you know you’re it for me. there’s no one else i want in this world if it isn't you…”

“jude…”

“i know i may not always be here, but no matter where i am, i’m yours and you’re mine. you have no idea just how much you mean and have done for me, and i don’t know how i can ever repay that. but just know that my heart belongs to you, that i love you, and that i can’t for our future together,” jude declared, from the bottom of his heart, his voice laced with shakiness.

“judeee, why do you always get sentimental with me at this time of night,” you laugh as you feel your eyes sting, your chest warm and fuzzy. “because my love language is physical touch and words of affirmations or whatever the hell you call it,” jude says, kissing your jaw.

“that and many more, hmm,” you run your hand against his back. “you know i struggle putting my words and sorting out my feelings, and i'm still learning how to communicate them, but i’m with you or without you no matter what. you’ve brought out the best of me, make me feel like the luckiest girl, and knowing that i’m with you? i just know im safe and sound from the world... i love you,” you pout, giggling when jude kisses the inner corners of you mouth.

“hmm, you love me?” jude teases.

“no i don’t actually,” you shake your head, jude tickling your side. “okay! okay! i do, i do! i love you thisss much,” you show him your pinch fingers to where jude gives you a look. “that’s not enough,” jude says. “say it, say you love me or i’ll hide your candy stash,” he warns earning a gasp from you. “you wouldn’t….”

“oh i would…”

“iloveyou…” you say stammering and quickly, not liking how he was putting you in the spot. “uh uh, i didn’t hear that right…” jude taunted further, his fingers sliding up your side. “i… love… you,” you said it clearly, jude laughing as he propped himself up and gave you a kiss that had you weak in seconds. “i love you more…”

he was perfect. your life was perfect. tonight was perfect. and in this moment it was perfect.

[anashins]

Too Hot for Snow

Pairing: Jaehyun x reader x Jaemin

Genre: angst, drama, romance, smut, love triangle

Word Count: 17k

Warnings: There are two smut scenes with the same mc, but nothing that really needs a tw. If you aren't here for him, you can skip them without missing out on anything tho! The other mc won't come short in terms of romance either, trust the process! But it's a bittersweet ending.

Summary: When your husband decides to file for divorce, you find yourself back in the arms of your first love. After all, things are different now and you're not kids anymore. But after a weekend lost in heavy snowfall and wishful dreams, you come to the painful realization that some people don't want to change, and others change too much.

A/N: I wrote this inspired by my own experience from a time where I had to decide between my situationship and now-bf. I thought I could pass this message on to ones who need this as well. Sometimes, we make the right decisions, sometimes the wrong ones. Sometimes, it's too late, sometimes it's not. (Also, I miss Jaehyun :( D-497)

Three years. That was how long your marriage had lasted.

“I want a divorce.”

These words shouldn’t surprise let alone hurt you - but they still did. After all, nothing could prepare you for the day your husband decided to divorce you.

You had talked about it before Jaehyun had moved out and mutually agreed on seriously thinking about an official separation while taking this six month break from each other. 

Yet, hearing this final decision out loud from your own husband’s lips made it real. And even though it had been foreseeable and up to a point even inevitable, you hadn’t been prepared for reality, for the fact that now, this was indeed real.

Your husband didn’t want to be married to you any longer. 

How was that even possible?

We walk down the aisle, thinking it will be forever. Donned in our white gown, the veil in our hair and the flower bouquet close to our chest, we are full of hope, light and love for the person who awaits us by the altar. 

“Till death do us part” is considered the love line of our lives as we all desire to vow it one day to our partner.

But thinking about it, it sounds morbid. We stand in front of witnesses and promise to the heavens that it will literally take a terminal illness, a fatal accident or another forced act of nature to tear this love apart. 

The painful truth is that it takes much, much less.

It often takes minimal profound, heroic and inspiring reasons for two married people to never look at each other again. Oftentimes, love doesn’t get torn apart by death. It gets torn apart by pent-up arguments, lack of commitment and the belief that everything you already own still isn’t enough.

“What about Kang Kang?”

Your throat was so dry, you didn’t even recognize your own voice, and Jaehyun ran his fingers through his hair. He had dark circles under his eyes and his clothes were wrinkled, hair completely askew. 

There had been a time, back then in university, where on weekends, you both had looked like that, but for entirely different reasons. You were just staying at home, playing games and watching movies together. It had been the best and most carefree time of your lives. The strict business man Jaehyun had turned into throughout the years would have never left the house looking like this.

At this moment, you could see your past boyfriend in your husband again, who you had long deemed missing, and you wondered where you both had taken the wrong turn in your once fairytale-like relationship.

“He’s your dog on paper,” Jaehyun said nearly matter-of-factly. “You can keep Kang Kang.”

You bit into your bottom lip, so hard that you swore you could nearly taste something metallic. “Is this your final decision?”

In the break of the second that he needed to answer, you grew hopeful again. Hopeful that your husband would admit this decision was wrong, that he wanted to work on things for you two to be happy again.

Because this was the conclusion you had come to last night. You didn’t want a divorce, you didn’t want to give this all up. You wanted your little family, you wanted your husband and your dog, and children of your own in the future.

But instead, Jaehyun said with a tired, but determined voice,

“It’s my final decision.”

____

If Jaehyun were a season, he’d be summer. 

He was the feeling of getting woken up by sunshine tickling the tip of your nose. He was the salt on your skin when you emerged from the sea, the sand beneath your toes and the water dripping from your hair tips. He was the shade under a tree on sweltering days and flowers blooming in all colors.

He was everything good, fair and bright.

… Until summer vanished and you were left alone when seasons changed. It didn’t only become clear by change in weather, but also by the fact that Jaehyun had taken every last piece of himself out of your once shared apartment.

By the next week, he had officially filed for divorce. 

Summer had come to an end.

____

If Jaemin were a season, he’d be winter.

He was the feeling of thick sweaters when you got dressed on a cold day. He was the sound of snow crunching under your boots, the cup of hot chocolate you drank while watching the icebound lake. He was the snowstorm that came overnight and locked you in, causing chaos and destruction.

Jaemin was charming, tempting and dangerous.

But who, after a hot, sweltering summer, had never not anticipated a beautiful winter wonderland?

Luckily, winter came early that year.

____

“Why are you calling me at this hour?”

You stared at the skyline stretching in front of you. The few cars passing by were only recognizable by their headlights, but apart from that as well as a handful of windows reflecting some light in the building across from you, it was a quiet and dark night, the clock showing 3am.

“Why are you picking up?” you asked.

A light hearted laughter that made your heart jump followed. “I will always pick up when you call, you know that.”

“I know.”

A beat of silence passed by as you opened the balcony door and stepped outside, closing it again behind you. You turned your head to the sky and watched the moon, and you knew Jaemin was doing the same right now. 

“Did you already sign and send out the papers?” Jaemin questioned.

“Yes,” you answered, and as you spoke, you could see a small cloud forming in front of your face. “They are at my lawyer’s now to get checked. So perhaps, by next week, his lawyer will get them and send them out to him to sign too. Then, I’ll be a divorcée.”

“Don’t use that word.”

“Why not?”

“It sounds like you’ll be a lonely, sad woman.”

“Well, if anything, I’ll be a lonely, sad dog-mom.” Your gaze wandered aside to the balcony door from where you could see Kang Kang sleeping peacefully on this dog bed in the very corner of the living room.

“You’re neither going to be a lonely, sad woman nor a lonely, sad dog-mom. You’re going to be free. You should be happy.”

“I can only be happy with you.”

Jaemin let out a chuckle that came in unison with a cool winter breeze grazing your skin, and only now you noticed how icy it actually was outside, only dressed in your pajamas and a bathrobe. But right now, you didn’t mind the cold. You only tried to remember the last time you had felt so… like Jaemin had said… happy. 

It had been half a year since Jaehyun had come to you to file for a divorce and already a full year since you had actually started living in separation. That was enough time to move forward when you had been long unhappy before.

You could finally quit pretending, quit fighting, quit caring. You had finally reconnected with the man you had always referred to as your first love, willing to start all over again with him.

Then why, when you looked at the night sky, the only thing your mind wandered back to was still the night Jaehyun had proposed to you?

Back then, he had just graduated from university and you had been working in your job for two years already. He had saved up all the money that he had earned while being enlisted to buy you the perfect engagement ring that was now kept hidden in your drawer along with the wedding band. A very beautiful ring that had once been a symbol for a very beautiful relationship.

His proposal had taken place under the night sky too, in privacy like you had wished for, with only the moon and stars as witnesses. It had hurt to look at the night sky for a very long time after your separation. But it didn’t anymore now, it was more of a nostalgic feeling.

As though Jaemin could read your thoughts, he said, “Don’t worry, when we get married, we don’t have to go through a divorce, I’ll get you an even more striking ring.”

“Stop joking.”

“I’m not joking,” he obliged. “I mean it.”

“Jaemin…” You swallowed, hard. “What are you even saying?”

“I’m saying,” you overheard him taking a deep breather, “if I had done things right the first time, we would have stayed together after high school and you would have gotten married to me instead, and you wouldn’t need to go through all this now.”

You both knew that this wasn’t true. 

There had been grave things that had led to the downfall of your first relationship and you into the arms of your soon-to-be ex-husband. Things that had been totally out of your might to control as you had been so young. But that was long in the past and you had both grown enough as people to pick up where you had left off and do it better this time. 

After all, Jaemin was your first love. That meant something, that was something special.

You sighed. “We were only kids. But now we’re adults. We now have the chance to do it better than back then, Jaemin, and that means to always be honest with each other.”

“I mean every word I said.”

You felt your heart turn heavy. “But for me, it means that I don’t think I will be ready to get married again in the next few years. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry about that.” His light-hearted laughter took the weight from your chest at an instant. That was what had always fascinated you about Jaemin. Everything seemed so easy and carefree with him. “I’ll wait. One year, two years, five years, ten years… I’ll wait until you’re ready again.”

“Back then, you never wanted to get married and always dreamed about getting famous, moving to America....” You only then realized that it could be taken as an insult and wanted to correct yourself quickly, but he preempted, 

“Back then, I chose foolishness over commitment. But this time, I mean it and I will come get you next week.”

“Get me?” You raised a brow. “To where?”

“To Jeonju."

“To do what?”

“To be with me.”

“I can’t move to Jeonju so suddenly, Jaemin. I have a job here, my apartment, my dog, my family, especially my grandma…”

“Then only for the weekend. Bring Kang Kang with you. And the rest, we’ll figure it out together.”

Silence from your end, but he was being patient. “Do you mean it?”

“I mean it this time too. It’s been two weeks since we’ve last seen each other and we only met twice overall since back then. I know there is so much going on in your life right now, but I need more of you. And you could need a break from your daily life. So come to me.”

A romantic weekend in Jaemin’s home in Jeonju sounded exactly like what you needed right now. 

So you answered, “Okay, let’s do it.”

You were looking forward to winter.

____

The first family gathering without your husband took place two days later, the weekend before you planned on leaving for your short trip to Jeonju.

You had informed your mother about your separation two weeks after the official decision via a text message, very short and dry. You hadn’t wanted to speak to anyone as to why and when, ignoring all upcoming calls from every family member since the news had spread like wildfire. It had been hard enough the first time already when you had to explain why your husband had moved out. You couldn’t do this all over again.

Not because you were rude. But because you were still hurting and you feared that speaking about it stirred up feelings you had long locked up deep inside your heart. Only now, you were ready to face everyone again. Because half a year later, you were fine again.

Your big family adored Jaehyun so much, especially your grandmother, so you still met her with a heavy heart. To her, Jaehyun had been the perfect grandson-in-law, everything she had ever wished for you, and the feeling had been mutual since you had rarely seen your own relatives act with your grandmother as closely as Jaehyun had.

Whenever you had visited, he had brought her gifts, helped her with the chores and told her stories that made her laugh her heart out. Nobody else had done all this with such sincerity and continuity as Jaehyun, and it broke your heart to know that you had robbed her of this experience forever.

Your grandmother was celebrating her 80th birthday that Saturday, and with her declining health you didn’t know for how many more birthdays she could still be around, so you wanted to spend the remaining time with her, even if it was only you alone.

“How are you doing, sweetheart?”

You were sitting on the couch in her living room while everyone else was still dining, chatting and laughing.

“I think I’m doing quite fine.” 

“Are you sure?”

She reached out her weak, fragile hand and touched your cheek. You started to wonder when your grandmother had aged so much. The woman who had watched over you when you were still a child, had driven you to school, had made you food, and had let you spend the weekends with her. The one who had dried your tears when you had gotten your heart broken in school, who had picked up every single broken piece of you throughout the years.

She couldn’t do all that anymore, but she still could tell how you were feeling just by taking a brief look at you.

You couldn’t deceive your grandmother, so you just shrugged and her hand slipped from your cheek right into yours, squeezing it meekly. 

“It’s alright to still mourn him, sweetheart. If, at some point in your life, you realize that you have made the wrong decision, don’t hesitate for a single second and tell him.”

“What do you mean?”

You didn’t believe in the term ‘the one that got away’ which people would commonly use to describe a lost lover they were still thinking about all the time. You believed that you could grow to love someone just as much as you could grow to stop loving someone. If humans could never move on, how were they supposed to continue living?

“Your grandfather…” Around your grandmother’s thin lips played a mild smile that gave her face back something very youthful. “He was and will always be the love of my life. I married him young and I stayed loyal to him until he passed away. I loved him with my whole heart and he was the only person that had ever evoked such feelings inside of me.”

It tightened around your chest as it reminded you painfully of Jaehyun.

“But there was a time before our marriage,” your grandmother continued, and although the smile around her lips was still present, it wasn’t quite merry anymore, but rather pained, “where we were separated, because we didn’t know whether we should get married or not. There was still so much to see in the world, so many people to get to know. Why would we settle so early? So we decided we wouldn’t.”

“Grandma, you never told me that.” You squeezed her hand back to comfort her.

“I got back with my first ever love from when I was still a teenager. The timing was just right, we both seemed to have evolved so much. Maybe fate wanted us to take this path and meet again much later.”

Now, warmth grew in your heart as it reminded you of Jaemin. 

You had gotten to know each in the second year of high school when he transferred to your school, and the two years that followed was a whirlwind of ups and downs that, looking back at, you wouldn’t have wanted to miss a single second of. After all, it had forged you into the person you were now, and also into the one that had met Jaehyun and had now led you back to Jaemin. 

But you feared your story would separate from your grandmother’s at this point. “How did you then end up with grandpa?”

You now understood why your grandmother was wearing that expression. It wasn’t a fully happy core memory anymore, nor a completely sad one either. It was bittersweet. “It didn’t work out the second time around as well.”

“...May I ask why? You sounded so happy. What happened?” It wasn’t like you wanted to push her boundaries, you were genuinely curious as you secretly found yourself in a similar position now.

“When one day, I returned home, I encountered your grandfather by my house. Apparently, he had waited two days and nights for me and refused to leave unless I talked to him. So I did and he officially proposed. I wanted a week to think about this, and when I, following this event, wanted my first love to make a decision, he couldn’t.”

“He didn't want to marry you?”

“Even after all these years, he didn’t know whether he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. And I wanted a man that knew.” 

You inhaled deeply. “And you never went back to your first love.”

“I never went back to him,” she repeated. “Not because I didn’t love him, but because I knew your grandfather would show up in ways he could never. And that was what I wanted.”

You were asking yourself whether your grandmother told you this story on purpose. But then again, she never did anything without a purpose. She wanted you to learn something from it, and it actually hurt you quite a bit that she was questioning your decision.

“I don’t regret it. Do you regret it, grandma?”

“I don’t regret anything either, sweetheart, absolutely not.” You were worried that she might conceal the truth from you, but from her voice alone and the way her mien changed to the one she was always wearing when she talked lovingly about your grandfather, you were assured that she was being honest and always had been. “Sometimes, I still think about him and wonder where he is, what he’s doing if he’s still al-... And it’s normal. Sometimes, I wonder what if. But if I could turn back time, I wouldn’t have chosen differently.”

Your grandmother’s gaze wandered to the coffee table where you spotted something very familiar for the first time since you had arrived: a pink bouquet consisting of different summer flower arrangements. The one Jaehyun and you usually got together and brought over to your grandmother whenever you visited.

This time, you hadn’t had time to bring anything, and admittedly it had also slipped your mind completely. Yet, the very same bouquet was standing there on the coffee table.

“Jaehyun was here?” you breathed.

She nodded. “This morning.”

You weren't surprised. This was typical of Jaehyun. He always thought about others first, never missing an event, always reliant and considerate. With your own mind always wandering, you had very much relied on him and he had never complained about taking matters into his own hands.

“Grandma, I-” You didn’t know why your heart suddenly felt so heavy.

“I’m not telling you what to do, sweetheart. I’m just wondering if nowadays, before a couple decides to divorce, they have already given everything. There is a reason you were married in the first place. That’s all. That is something you should always think of.”

Yes, you had given everything, every day and minute of your marriage. 

When Jaehyun had stayed for work longer, then worked during the weekends and then rarely came home anymore. When you had started to feel lonely, not appreciated and unheard of your feelings. When, every time you had still seen each other, every minor thing led to an argument where one of you needed to leave the house. 

You had tried, over and over again. 

“I have given it my all, grandma. I have.”

“If you can confidently say that, then move on, sweetheart.”

____

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

You followed Jaehyun into his new apartment, Kang Kang passing by you. He was jumping up and down, circling around Jaehyun like the happy labrador he was. As you had figured out, there were no dogs allowed in Jaemin’s apartment, so you had asked Jaehyun to take care of him this specific weekend.

You wondered whether it was selfish of you and quickly came to the conclusion that yes, it was, and cruel on top of that too. That was why you hid the truth from your soon-to-be ex-husband and had told him you had work in Jeonju this weekend and no other family could take Kang Kang. At least the latter was the truth as you had earnestly tried it everywhere before, but to no avail.

At least, you knew Kang Kang was in good hands, and he hadn’t seen his human dad in so long either. You put your dog’s belongings in the living room, which consisted of his bed, a few toys, his bowls and other necessities.

“Don’t you have to work this weekend, though?” you asked Jaehyun politely. 

You still didn’t know how to behave in front of him whenever you had to interact. This was actually the third time you met since your official separation half a year ago with the first two being the time he had to pack his stuff and move out completely. How did one interact with the person you were soon to be called ex-husband?

You were nervous and anxious, but also somehow happy to see him, because you hadn’t seen each other in three months. Jaehyun was still Jaehyun, he hadn’t changed. You wondered whether he was dating someone new now too, though.

“I actually requested time off this weekend when I knew Kang Kang would come,” he answered almost nonchalantly. “Do you want something to drink? I’m sorry, I only have water.”

You weren’t sure whether the water would help the lump that had built in your throat to disappear, so you declined. And just like that, Jaehyun had requested an entire weekend off when you had had begged him in the past to do so over and over again. You were hurt, once again, and it showed all over your face. 

“I’ve started a new job, actually,” he quickly explained, but you didn’t know whether it would make it all better, truth to be told. “Less salary, but since I’m living alone now, it’s fine. They still pay well enough and I have more time to myself.”

You deadpanned, “Good for you.”

It shouldn’t bother you anymore, it really shouldn’t. But you couldn’t shake off the fact that Jaehyun had changed his work and lifestyle almost so easily right after separating from you when he hadn’t been able to do exactly that while still with you. What had hindered him all this time?

Jaehyun, sensing already where this conversation would lead to since you had been there over and over again in the past, quickly changed the topic. “How is your grandma?” 

You unpacked Kang Kang’s stuff while he arranged the bed for him where he thought your dog would like it. 

“Quit playing, I know you visited her.”

He let out a shy laugh. “Did she tell you? I purposely told her not to.”

“She didn’t have to, really. I saw the flowers and knew immediately.”

You turned around to him, and even from the side, while he was kneeling down and petted Kang Kang, you perceived how shy he had gotten as his ears had turned slightly red. 

“I was worried about her since she hasn’t been feeling well these past months. So I wanted to check up on her. I didn’t want to break tradition, you know. Yet.”

“I know,” you admitted and quietly added, “Thank you for that.”

“I hope she’ll get better soon.”

He shifted in your direction and smiled, and this reaction made you longing for easier times where you didn't have to deal with the fact that this was the last time he had seen your grandmother.

Had you been too greedy, wanting too much that he hadn’t been willing to or couldn’t give yet? Had you pressured him too much and driven him away instead? Should you have been more patient with him and supported him, even though you hadn’t condoned any of his actions? Had it only been a rough patch and you would have come over it by now? 

Those were questions to which you would probably never get an answer. It was all too late now anyway. The papers were signed from your side.

“Jaehyun…” you whispered and wondered whether he had heard it as he suddenly interrupted you with,

“Ah, I’m sorry but you have to leave now.” He arose from the crouch and scratched the back of his head. “I actually have a visitor over the weekend and she’ll arrive soon.”

“She…?”

He nodded with a hint of reluctance.

You couldn’t explain why this revelation hurt almost just as much as the day Jaehyun had opened up about wanting a divorce. You were seeing someone else too, probably for longer than him, but you didn’t want him to be dating anyone else, giving her everything you had been asking of him for so long. 

You should be happy for him to have finally changed and wanting to make it better with the next woman he would grow to love. Yet, all you could think about was that he had never been able to give it to you.

You were so selfish.

“Okay,” you said breathlessly and grabbed your purse, moving to the entrance door. 

“Hey.” You heard footsteps, and before you could grab the handle, Jaehyun was already holding you back by your arm. “I’ve known you for too long to unsee the fact that you’re upset. And let me tell you, I understand why you’re angry.”

You lowered your head so that he couldn’t read your exact expression. But he didn’t need to. He never needed to. To him, you had always been an open book. “It doesn’t matter anymore, Jaehyun…”

“You’re probably asking yourself why I couldn’t change my job to have more time for you too. Just like I’m asking myself why you couldn’t have been more independent and wouldn’t rely on me only. We’ve both come quite a way, haven't we?”

You took credit for the not independent enough part. After all, since freshman year, you’ve only had Jaehyun. He had been the center of your life, of your universe, and this view had shifted into a toxic direction you never wanted to look into again. You truly had turned codependent at some point, you owed that part. 

All that was left to do was not letting these negative traits affect your new relationships. That was a promise you didn’t only need to make to yourselves, but to your new partner, too.

“Do you think… Do you think we could have reached this point too if we had stayed together? This is what we have wanted, right?”

After all, it didn’t matter anymore. But you really wanted to hear this opinion, whether he thought the same. 

He admitted, “I don’t think we could have evolved like that if we had stayed together.”

“I think so too.” You shrugged off his grip and pulled down the door handle. 

“If you ever need something… I’m always here, okay? Call me, text me, no matter how late, I don’t care. I will always be here for you.”

After all, he was still so good, fair and bright.

It was unfair that you couldn’t offer the same kindness in return. Envy never looked good on anyone.

You switched to a cold business-tone. “My lawyer told me you received the papers already.”

“I did yesterday. I’ll sign them this weekend and pass them on on Monday.”

“See you on Sunday then when I come to pick up Kang Kang.”

And then, you left without another word.

____

“I have a gig tonight, but don’t worry, we can drop off your things first and head right there,” Jaemin declared. “I already told them to start the soundcheck without me.”

“Gig?” Jaemin had picked you up with his car from the train station and you were currently on your way to his house. “I thought we were going to spend the whole weekend… you know, at your place.”

“We will, we will!” he repeated and put his hand on your thigh while the other was still holding onto the steering wheel. “Don’t worry about that. It’s only tonight. Besides… you’ll get to know all my friends and bandmates too, so that’s gonna be fun!”

You should actually be excited about getting involved with his life right off the bat, but you couldn’t help but to feel more anxious about meeting new people when all you wanted to do was to spend a cozy weekend at Jaemin’s place, just the two of you. You wanted to take your sweet time, learning about each other, and only each other, again.

Jaemin had always been an extrovert while you were the complete opposite, and in all these years, this fact hadn’t seemed to have changed at all - just like him always forgetting how hard it was for you to come out of your shell. But you decided that you weren’t going to be hurt over this and see it as a compliment to get introduced to his friends and lifestyle so short into the relationship.

Perhaps, this was also a sign for you to break out of your shell that had only hardened throughout the years you had spent with Jaehyun as he was very similar to you. You couldn’t always live that way and accepted Jaemin offering to show you a new lifestyle.

“I’m looking forward to it!” you exclaimed and shifted your head back to the street, swallowing your anxiety and just hoping it wouldn’t resurface.

____

But it did later that night when you stood by the bar in that very small club, the crowd dancing and singing along to tunes you had never heard before, and you suddenly felt so alone and lost. 

Back in the days, Jaemin had also been in a band, just one of many self-formed ones in school, but his band had always been the most popular, because, well, he himself was so popular. And even now, he was remaining true to his image, flirting with the crowd through his mimicry and gestic, radiating a charisma that would have all girls on their knees in front of him if only he asked.

Since he was with you now though, you felt proud and a bit haughty that he was still so popular and you had him all to yourself. But also, on the other hand, you were questioning if the negative feelings from your teen years would resurface…

The irritation when he hadn’t looked at you even once during his performances. The doubts when he had always winked at another girl during his solos. The jealousy when he had eventually talked to said girls after his performances, treating you like air.

But this Jaemin… he was different. Just when he finished and you viciously feared that it all would be repeated again, he passed by the entire crowd, not sparing his female fans even a single glance, and walked straight up to you.

“How was I?” he asked with a beam and you fell happily into his arms.

“Amazing!”

He laughed. “I’m so happy you liked it! Here, let me introduce you to my bandmates.”

So many new faces, but you were feeling welcomed from the very first moment on. There was no need to be anxious about feeling left out and to be nervous about nobody wanting to talk to you. You were having so much fun and everyone wanted to talk to you, wanting to know more about Jaemin’s girlfriend.

You hadn’t known he had already introduced you as such and felt very honored.

“Let’s have a toast!” Jaemin then raised up his shot.

“This will be our fourth toast!” a band member pointed out. “What do we still have to celebrate?”

You felt Jaemin’s strong arm around your shoulder, claiming you in front of all his friends and his entire band. “We’re celebrating her divorce. I’ve waited many years for her to separate from her husband, and now I can have her all to myself, for my entire life!”

You blushed at his loud confession. That didn’t seem like your Jaemin who you had known for so long at all. He had always been openly flirty and charming, but love confessions were never really his thing. Until now, apparently.

“So you want to marry her and spend the rest of her life with her?” someone teased. “What happened to Jaemin and when do we get him back?”

You quickly shook your head and waved aside. “Please, he’s only joking!”

“I’m quite offended you think I’m joking!” Jaemin objected and turned to you to make the conversation more private. “I mean it. We will spend the rest of our lives together. No matter where.”

This had suddenly turned into such an intimate moment, and all of his band mates sensed it which was why they pretended to be occupied with each other.

“You can’t say things like that so casually here!” you chided. “You’re probably drunk.”

“I’m actually quite sober and can think straight, and these thoughts currently always lead me to one desire: I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I don’t care if you marry me or not, I just want you to always be with me. We will make it work. With your job, your dog, and your family. Even if it means I will have to come to you and live in the capital.”

“The Jaemin back then wouldn’t have uttered these words at all. He was always talking about going to America, getting famous with his music…”

“Well, I can still go to America. But with you. And one day, when you decide that you’re ready, even if we’re old and grey, we can get married.”

He then kissed you, and you dared to daydream just a little bit. In one possible future, you actually saw yourself watching your husband, Jaemin, standing on the stage of a big stadium in America while the crowd cheered, but he only had eyes for you who stood in the first row. 

One faraway possible future, you didn’t dare to venture in further, because in this one, you were still married and it would take so, so much time until you could actually think of accepting a proposal ever again.

Forgotten was the toast still, and you and Jaemin called it an early night. You were surprised, because back in the days, he would have partied until the sun went up, and longer.

“I want to spend the remaining time with you,” he only said and led you out of the venue by your hand.

Maybe, just like you and Jaehyun, Jaemin had evolved too - to the man you had always needed him to be.

____

The next morning, it had started snowing.

The blanket slipped from your naked shoulder when you arose, the mattress giving in under you as a result of you bracing your hands against the surface. Jaemin was still sleeping soundly next to you. Of course, because a brief look at your phone told you that it was only 7am on a saturday.

Yet, you didn’t want to miss this beautiful, quiet hour and slipped out of the bed. Throwing on Jaemin’s t-shirt from the night before, you walked to the big window that offered a panoramic view of the landscape. 

There were only a handful of high rise buildings in his city and no skyscrapers were seen far and wide. The horizon was a bit cloudy, but the beautiful landscape was still recognizable through the falling snow. 

You had been to Jaemin’s hometown only once when you were together as teenagers. He had been sent to Seoul to attend a better school and eventually university, but had moved back after his degree.

You loved it here, it was the entire opposite of the bustling and ever lively capital. But living here, you wondered, would you get bored eventually? It was quite the contrary to your personality, but you had always enjoyed your environment being fast and never sleeping while you stood still. It gave you the feeling of never being alone while actually being alone.

A kiss on the back of your neck let you shudder, but in a good way. You giggled and turned around to Jaemin who had his arms wrapped around you now. His muscles were well-built and tense in your grip.

“Look Jaemin, it’s snowing!” you pointed out. “Isn’t it beautiful?”

“Mhhmm,” he muttered, but he didn’t look. “I know a more beautiful view, and it’s also in front of me.”

His voice sounded so sexy when he had just woken up. He embraced you tighter and kissed your temple. “You’re so charming as always.”

Jaemin chuckled. “Why are you up so early already?” he then asked you and gently rocked you in his arms. “You can still sleep.”

“I know, it’s just…” You shrugged. “I want to spend as much time with you here as possible.”

“Oh, does that mean I have to get up now too?” he seemingly wailed. “But what if I don’t want to get out of bed yet? Is there something we can do in bed together?” 

You didn’t need to be told twice, but let yourself get carried, with both of your legs hooked around his waist, back to the bed. Letting out a laugh, Jaemin threw you onto the mattress and then crawled on top of you. He was still naked from last night, his muscles flexing nicely in the dim morning light.

You stretched out your arms and placed them around his neck. Gently, you pulled him close to you so that your nose tips touched, and smiled. You wanted to stop time right here and now, and bathe in this intimate moment for a while longer.

Jaemin didn’t know the words ‘enjoy’ and ‘patience’ though as not much later, sweat droplets started to collect on his chest, making his skin glisten with every shift that he performed on top of you. Your breathing came in hitches and caught every time he pushed himself deeper into you.

“You like that?” he whispered into your ear, causing goose bumps to spread all along your neck.

“I lot…” A gasp passed your lips when his wet tongue licked your earlobe.

It had slipped your mind when you had last felt this deeply satisfied. What Jaemin was doing right now even topped the events from last night when you had returned to his apartment, even though you had thought that it was impossible to top that.

You stretched out your legs and placed them around Jaemin’s waist, pushing your hips up. 

“Hm?” He raised his head and locked eyes with you, revealing a sneaky smile that was accompanied by a cocked brow to emphasize his feigned surprise. “What’s that? You’re impatient already?”

“It’s you,” you said. “I just can’t get enough.”

Jaemin lowered his head again and started sucking on the side of your neck. You were sure you would be able to see a few faint bruises later on, but it was the time to wear scarves anyway and you wanted him to mark you in every way possible. 

Your fingers entangled in his soft hair that then slipped through the gaps between them, and after a few bypassing moments of absolute stillness from his side where you slowly grew even more impatient, Jaemin started to move inside of you again. 

When you were a teenager, you had lost your virginity to Jaemin after a few months of dating. He hadn’t been as insecure, nervous and awkward as you, because of course, the most popular boy from the band had already gained experience. And it seemed like he hadn’t lacked keeping to do so.

Or how else did he know to slip out with only the tip remaining so that you could quickly catch your breath, just to thrust back inside you with full force again? You couldn’t help but scream every time he penetrated that sweet spot, and he made sure to hit with every single motion.

The sheets grew wet under you as you were sweating so much, and in the peripheral of your blurry vision, you noticed that it had turned a bit lighter already in the apartment. God, for how long had this been going on, and how much more could you take?

You were already calling out, “Jaemin, Jaemin, Jaemin!”, mixed with dry screams that only grew more hoarsely, but you couldn’t seem to reach the anticipated release. Whenever you faced him, you only encountered his wicked, charming grin, and were assured that release was nowhere near yet.

Time and space blurred together for you and your mouth hung open, longing for air as he ripped you off it with his thrusts, again and again. The neverending string of a nearing orgasm was always graspable, but remained out of reach as each time, Jaemin took a brief pause by halting his motions and never pulling out entirely. 

“Please…”

You didn’t know why he was doing that or where he had even learned to be this skilful to drag it out for so long, and truth to be told, you also didn’t want to know. At this point, you were only worried that he was punishing you on purpose, for dumping him back in the days, and for letting him wait for so long. Fair enough, you accepted this kind of punishment over anything else. 

Jaemin drew his face close and licked over your dry lips. “I want to hear you beg.”

You didn’t care anymore at this point. You pressed him close to you, drawing your thighs even tighter around him. “Please, Jaemin!”

“Louder.” A low growl into your ear. But eventually, you felt him moving again.

“Please, Jaemin. PLEASE!”

“Louder!” he summoned.

“JAEMIN, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, I BEG YOU, PLEASE!”

The next moment, it felt like a wave came crashing down over you after trying to swim away from it all this time. It only took Jaemin two more skilled thrusts at the right angle until you let out a long-lasting scream that was on the brink of waking all the neighbors up, but you didn’t care.

You felt your insides clenching around him, your legs shaking in the aftermath while your fingers simultaneously dig deep into his skin as though you were holding onto a lifeline, nails grazing along his back and leaving long marks that would also be visible for quite a time.

Jaemin followed almost directly after you. He was gracious and quiet about it, but you knew him well enough to see that he was still enjoying it a little too much as he revealed himself by a low whimper that he tried to hide in the side of your neck, followed by a long sigh. His arms were shaking as he lost all strength and limply fell on top of you.

Your fingers were still on the back of his head, slowly stroking and comforting him while he was coming down from his heights. Your sweaty chest heaved up and down with Jaemin’s head on top of it.

For a moment, it was silent, only your regular breathing rhythms audible. 

In that moment, you wondered when you had last felt this happy.

____

“Are you with Jaemin this weekend?” 

Jaehyun’s anger was palpable through the phone. You moved away from the queue, signaling Jaemin that you had to take this call while he was lining up to buy you octopus skewers.

“Uh… I-”

Your still-husband had caught you red-handed and you didn’t know what to answer, because you hadn’t been prepared for this kind of situation. Only now, you realized that it would have been better to not have picked up the call at all when you had seen his name popping up on the display - ‘hubby’ and a heart. You still hadn’t brought yourself to change it to his government name.

“Answer me,” he demanded when your stuttering slowly grew uncomfortable and you settled for a quiet corner to talk to him.

“Jaehyun…”

“Someone sent me a video of his stories from last night and you were in it. I should have known the first thing you’d do would be running to him.”

How was that possible? You didn’t have mutual friends anymore from back then who would have cared enough as all contact had started to dwindle down at some point. And as far as you knew, these two had each other blocked everywhere. Unless they didn’t anymore and Jaehyun was lying to cover up that he had been digging.

“Jaehyun, that’s not fair at all.”

You heard a snort, followed by dead silence, but he didn’t hang up. “When did you want to tell me you were spending the weekend with my best friend?”

Dead silence again, but this time from your side of the line. Eventually, you reproached, “You haven’t been best friends for four years.”

“You told me you weren’t in contact anymore since he tried to creep back into your life even shortly after our marriage and I had to nearly physically fight him when he suddenly stood in front of our door.”

“We weren’t in contact!” you defended yourself. “But he had gotten wind of our separation and then hit me up again. Initially, it was just small talk, how I was doing and dealing with the situation. This is only the third time we've seen each other ever since. I really wasn’t in contact with him all this time, Jaehyun.”

“You never blocked his number or his socials as you had promised or otherwise, how could he have reached you?”

“I did! I told you I did, and I immediately did so back then! He contacted me from another number as he had changed his phone contract. I’ve never lied to you throughout our entire marriage! Don’t doubt me now just for me to fit your narrative, Jaehyun.”

“Hm.” He always let out this sound when he was at a loss for words, but didn’t want to drop the topic just yet. “I see.”

Somewhere in the background you heard Kang Kang and suddenly felt so guilty. Yet, you shrugged it off. You were too happy to get dragged down by his double standards right now. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you the truth about why I wanted to go to Jeonju. But honestly, Jaehyun, you also have a female over this weekend, don’t you?”

“I told you straight-forwardly. Also, she’s not an ex or your best friend, and certainly not my first love.”

He was right. The way you had handled this situation was certainly not pretty or fair at all. Why hadn’t you told him the moment you asked him to take care of Kang Kang? 

Perhaps, because Jaemin had always been a threat to your relationship, long before your marriage and after it too. And it had always been your fault, even though you had complied with Jaehyun's requests about blocking and deleting him.

Somehow though, whenever Jaemin wanted to find you, he always did. And he was lucky to now have found you at a time where you had wanted to be found as well.

“Jaehyun…”

He let out a long breather and you imagined him shaking his head at this very moment. “I’m sorry, I don’t even know why I’m calling. I just thought… It’s not even my right anymore to know who you’re with and what you’re doing, but… really, him out of all people?”

“Jaehyun…”

He hadn’t been in Jaemin’s band, but in the same class. You had always seen him around, but never interacted as you had rarely hung out with Jaemin’s friends. He hadn’t wanted that. And when you had finally had enough of his shenanigans after suffering in your on-off relationship for two years, you moved on in university - with your ex’s best friend who had happened to be the complete opposite, and everything you’d ever asked for.

In the beginning, you had tried to keep it a secret, but eventually came clean with Jaemin after a few months, who had reacted in a very mature way. Or so you had thought. You didn’t want to be friends with him as you rarely saw him anyway, but you let them be friends. Eventually, you warmed up to this new dynamic as Jaemin had once been a huge part of your life too. Nothing had seemed weird at first and Jaemin seemingly was okay with it. 

Until it all went downhill.

“Do you remember the day you told him we were engaged?” Jaehyun then asked.

Of course you remembered. Jaemin hadn’t let his true emotions slip, he hadn’t thrown a tantrum, he hadn’t said anything more than,

“Good luck. But you won’t be married for too long, because she’ll be mine again.”

And ever since then, best friends Jaehyun and Jaemin had never spoken a word to each other again.

It was eerie and sad how this prediction had eventually turned out to be true.

“I chose you, because you are kind, dedicated and warm, Jaehyun. Jaemin was fickle, unreliable and unfaithful, yes, but we were almost still kids! He’s changed.”

“That’s what you also said when I was in the army and he tried to test the waters with you again. That he’s changed, when you went back to him shortly. And look how that ended.”

“Are you bringing this up again? We were never involved in that sense again! You were in the boot camp and could only text me for one hour on the weekend, I felt lonely and we wanted to meet up as friends! I was young and stupid, how many times do you still want to hear it?”

“... And he never turned up.”

You bit into your lower lip. If you didn’t know it better, Jaehyun was hurt and jealous. But there was seriously no room for him to feel this way anymore. You were separated and it was only a matter of days until it was official. You didn’t even need to talk to him right now, but somehow, you also couldn’t bring yourself to just hang up.

“This time, he did turn up. Among many other things.” 

Only then did you realize that tears were pricking behind your eyes. In your peripheral, you could watch Jaemin ordering the skewers already, he was not supposed to see you cry.

“And you know that from a day of spending with him?”

“You know, I don’t have to justify myself in front of you, Jaehyun.”

‘If you still love me, then say it out loud!’ that was what you wanted to tell him. You wanted to grab him by his shoulders, shake him and ask him why he hadn’t told you so earlier. Why Jaemin had to come in between you again for him to finally open his mouth. 

At the other side of the line, it had suddenly turned quiet. 

“Are you sure about it?” you whispered into your phone. “About the divorce.”

“What is this about?” Jaehyun almost seemed angry now. “We’ve talked about it over and over again. This is for the best.”

“Then stop bothering me!”

Finally, you hung up and took a deep breather. Wiping a tear from your cheek with the back of your hand, you turned your head against the sky. It was still snowing, and the flakes melted immediately on your hot cheeks.

“Everything alright?” Jaemin asked when he had reached you. “Did something happen?”

You shook your head and accepted the skewer he was holding out to you. “No, nothing. Let’s go.”

____

Jaemin rolled his head back, his mouth falling agape.

“Yes, just like that.”

You felt his fingertips grazing over the back of your head, and then, with a firm tug, he had your hair between his fingers, tightly pulling on it. You swallowed a pained squeal, but the discomfort passed quickly as you realized it even added up to the sensation of sucking Jaemin off.

You let it slip past your mouth, only trapping the upper part between your lips, and then halted. With the tip of your tongue, you pressed down into the slit where you already tasted his sticky precum. You smiled when you heard him groan.

This time though, Jaemin didn’t let you get away with teasing him so easily. He pushed your head down his length, and as you didn’t have time to prepare yourself for this sudden action, you almost choked at him hitting the back of your throat. 

You weren’t trained in deep throating at all, the only time you had tried, you had wanted to gag so badly. Even now, it wasn’t really a cakewalk for you to suppress the reflex. But as you turned your gaze up and caught Jaemin stretched out gloriously on the couch, enjoying it with angelic moans, you gladly complied, no matter the circumstances.

Jaemin set the rhythm with his fingers still entwined in your hair. He pulled on your strands and lifted your head up his length just to slam you all the way down again until you nearly met his pelvis with your lips. It took you three tries to get rid of the gag reflex and another two to adjust to this submissive act.

“Now, suck it.”

You happily did so as it meant having a break from the excessive motions earlier, and only dedicated yourself to the upper half, sucking him off like a lollipop. You also used your tongue with which you teased him again by letting it glide over the smoothest part, just passing the frenulum. The sound he let out as a result was the loudest you had ever heard pass his lips during an intimate act.

“What was that?” he asked almost breathlessly, and looked down at you.

“You like it?” you wanted to know shyly.

“I love it!” he exclaimed and laughed. “Do it again!”

You felt Jaemin releasing himself into your mouth without a warning not much later, though you felt it pumping past your circled lips. Patiently, you waited until he was done and only let him slip out of your mouth then, falling back into a crouch and wiping over your stained mouth.

With a smirk, Jaemin patted the top of your head, then dropped his hand and angled your chin with his index finger. You faced each other, and you observed his expression changing.

“Now, your turn?” he asked with a bit of danger in his voice.

You swallowed, but didn’t hold him back. You were in for a wild ride.

That was until Jaemin’s phone rang and he needed to interrupt your act. You wanted him to ignore it, but he had already told you beforehand that he was expecting an important call. Just talk about timing…

You wondered what it could be about when you arose after Jaemin had left the room to go to another and take the call. It was kind of a long conversation as you only remembered how you went on to lie in bed, mindlessly scrolling through your phone and losing track of time. The next moment, when Jaemin came out again, it was already dark.

You were standing by the window now, the snow still hadn’t stopped falling. As a matter of fact, it was snowing even harder, and you wondered whether by tomorrow morning, the snow would have put a white blanket over the whole country.

“What happened?” you asked, unsure what to read out of Jaemin’s undefined expression.

That was until he broke out into a beam, closed the short distance between you and swept you off your feet. He had his hands placed under your ribs and swung you around with your feet dangling above the floor. 

You laughed and asked, after he had placed you down again, “Will you tell me what happened now?”

“Great news!” Jaemin declared with your hands remaining in his. “That was a producer who’s called me. I’ve been sending demos to different companies for years now, and finally this one is interested in my music! The producer wants to meet me tomorrow, isn’t it great?!”

“Oh, Jaemin! That’s amazing to hear!”

“I know, right?I have to prepare a few things for tomorrow since I have to drive to Gwangju where the company is located, do you mind?” He suddenly drew his brows together and looked very concerned. “I know we had dinner plans, but…”

You immediately shook your head. Of course, disappointment sank into your stomach as you had especially looked forward to this fancy dinner with him. It was your last night together as you were supposed to go home the next day, but another part, a bigger part, didn’t want to be so selfish. She knew that music had always been Jaemin’s dream, and if he could make it his main occupation, who were you to stop him?

“I’m gonna make up for it!” he immediately apologized, led your hand to his mouth and kissed your knuckles. “Tomorrow, fancy brunch or lunch before you leave?”

You nodded, very well aware of the fact that knowing Jaemin for the passionate man that he was, neither brunch or lunch would take place tomorrow. Somehow, it was all high school again, but you were more mature now and there was no room for your own, selfish needs.

Jaemin let go of you and dedicated himself to his music station where he gathered together a few documents. “Imagine,” he then summoned, “if it’s really going to work out and I am really going to be big with my band, we could play so many shows or even do a tour - maybe internationally too! And I would take you with me of course! To America!”

“Jaemin, I have a dog to take care of and a job I’m really dedicated to, you know that. I cannot be on the road for months.” Had he forgotten the words from last night where he had offered to move to the capital for you? Had your wants been overshadowed by his daydreams once again like back in the days?

“Oh yeah…” He scratched the back of his head, but then beamed again. “Don’t worry, we’ll find a solution!”

Again, he was proposing something so far off into the future without asking what you wanted. Aside from the fact that you liked living a domestic life with a stable job and a routine, you didn’t want to be separated from your dog. Or your family, especially your grandmother yet.

And that was what Jaemin didn’t get… again. Just like the fact that you couldn’t think of another marriage already when you were still with one foot inside your current one.

He was impulsive, dreamy and so demanding. But this was what you had wanted, right? Someone to take things into his own hands and consider you in his future, whether you fit in or not.

“Yes, we’ll find a solution,” you eventually replied as he was expecting an answer. And who knew, perhaps you would really find one.

Jaemin turned back to this work and rambled on about how great of a life you two would have together.

Would you, though?

Your current life as it was, was already perfect for you. Just the man in it hadn’t been.

____

With shaking hands, you swiped over your phone screen until, from your blurry vision, you finally saw your husband’s name pop up. Hubby and a heart next to it. You still hadn’t changed it, and for now, you were glad for that as it had made finding his contact easier.

It was only 7am on a sunday, but you knew Jaehyun would pick up no matter how early or late, no matter what, regardless of your dispute from the day before. He had promised.

“Grandmother is in the hospital,” you cried into the phone the moment the ringing stopped. “And I- I can’t go back. I-I don’t have a car and I’m in J-Jeonju, the trains are not running because of the heavy snowfall and I don’t know how to get back, how to get to my grandmother. Jaehyun… C-can you-”

It was rustling on the other line and from your peripheral, you could see Jaemin watching you with a displeased face. 

No questions asked. Jaehyun’s voice was still so deep and raspy as you had just woken him up, but his head was as clear as ever. “Send me the address, I’ll take the car and come pick you up.”

“Th-there is snow everywhere! It’ll probably take hours.”

He didn’t ask why Jaemin wouldn’t drive you or why Jaehyun himself should do this even though you were separated. At this moment, none of this mattered except the fact that he needed to bring you to your grandmother. 

“I don’t care.” There was some noise on his end of the line, and you could have sworn you also heard a female whispering something, but none of this mattered. “I’ll get going now and will text you the estimated arrival time.”

He didn’t care about the weather, the amounts of snow blocking the streets, whether he would even get through the traffic, none of this mattered.

“Thank you,” you whispered through your sobs.

It was like he still wanted to say something, but only brought himself to end the call with, “See you.”

Jaemin waited for you to finish typing the address for Jaehyun first before he spoke up. “I wish I could change things.”

“You can!” you yelled at him, having suppressed your anger for an hour already.

At 6am, you had been unexpectedly awakened by a call from your mother that held unfortunate news you never wished upon anyone to ever receive: Your grandmother was in the hospital as she had fallen in the bathroom that night and had been unconscious for a few hours before she could call anyone for help.

And Jaemin’s reaction? 

He fell into silence again.

“You can change things, but you don’t want to,” you repeated through tears and fled out of the bed as you couldn’t physically bear being close to him anymore.

“That’s not it…” His feeble attempts to defend himself were all to no avail as expected. “It’s just a once in a lifetime chance, if I need to cancel, I might not be able to…”

“My grandmother can also live just this lifetime! I only have her for one lifetime,” you hissed, not sparing him a single glance as you started to throw your belongings into your bag. “She’s fighting for her life in the hospital and you think your music appointment is more important than driving me there? It’s only in the evening, and you’re worried you won’t make it back to your appointment on time, because of the snow?”

“We called your parents and the hospital already.” His voice got louder, more determined now, though it was nothing compared to yours. “She’s fine. You can probably take the train by midday, maybe even forenoon, anyway. I’m just being realistic.”

��You just don’t get it, don’t you? Probably because no one has ever been this important to you.”

The moment you had spoken the words out loud, you already regretted it, but an apology refused to pass your lips as Jaemin only said,

“You are this important to me.”

“I don’t believe you as you cannot even do this for me.”

His music was more important, his career and everything connected to it. It would always, always come first, and this was something that was never going to change, and had never changed, you saw it clearly now. 

Your relationship in your adulthood was merely a projection of what it had already been in high school.

Nothing had changed.

____

Jaehyun picked you up from a nearby café four hours later. 

You had directly left Jaemin’s apartment the moment you had gathered all your belongings and hadn’t looked back - neither had he. He hadn’t changed his mind about the situation and he hadn’t tried to hold you back, no matter how much you had wished for it. 

You were standing in front of the café, still in your joggers and with tousled hair, freezing to your bones as the snow touched your naked ankles, but at least Jaehyun was here, regardless of the weather, his appointments and the time.

He was here.

He had always been here. 

You had just been too blind to see it.

The moment he opened the car door at your side, you broke out into tears again, unable to move, and it caused him to actually get out of the car himself to then approach you. 

Suddenly, it got so warm around you despite the weather, and even with your teary eyes closed you realized that Jaehyun had pulled you into an embrace. With his slender fingers, he brushed over the back of your head in a comforting gesture as you sobbed into his jacket.

“Your grandmother will be fine,” he whispered into your hair, unaware of the fact that you were currently not crying over your grandmother anymore, but over the fact that he was here regardless of how ridiculous it might sound.

He had made it through the snow chaos and traffic just to bring you home safely. If this wasn’t what your marriage vows had been about, then what was? Was that what your grandmother had been talking about?

You had two hours to think about it as you made your way back to the capital. There were many things you wanted to ask Jaehyun. How serious it was with that woman, if she was mad he had suddenly left her for his soon-to-be ex-wife and if he himself was mad that he was here now. But first and foremost…

“Why did you come?”

“I told you, you could always call me. No matter how late… or early in this case, I’ll always be there. Despite that, I care about your grandmother and your entire family, too. For a large part of my life, they were also my family.”

“They will always be, Jaehyun.”

“I know.”

His gaze was too focused on the street ahead of you as though it was taking him everything in his might to just keep his eyes averted from you. The majority of the snow had been cleared from the streets already so that cars could drive without many obstacles again. 

“Are you sure about it?” you repeated from your disrupted phone call the day before. “Are you sure about the divorce?”

“Why does it matter?” he asked back strictly. “Haven’t you moved on with my former best friend already, this time for good, because he’s changed so much?”

“That’s not an answer, Jaehyun.”

You had no reason to feel so attacked, but it still hurt, because he was wrong, even though Jaehyun didn’t know it yet. Jaemin hadn’t changed at all, and you were too proud to admit it. Perhaps though, you had overreacted as well. Perhaps, everything would have gone so well if only you had been calmer and more rational, and had actually listened to Jaemin. Perhaps, you had done Jaemin so wrong. 

But Jaehyun was now in the car, driving you back home, and not Jaemin, right? Jaehyun was here, and not Jaemin.

“On the way to Jeonju,” he started, “I had a few hours to think about everything. Have we given it all? Was a divorce really our last solution? What could I have done differently, what could you have differently for us to avoid this outcome. And I just… couldn’t come up with an answer. 

“Which means, on the contrary, perhaps a divorce was not a solution either,” you concluded. “But we’ve lived in separation for half a year at that point, Jaehyun. And we were fine with it. We’ve had many talks, so why are we here, ripping open this wound again? What’s the purpose? I just can’t wrap my head around the fact that it only took one weekend for us to doubt this decision.”

“Perhaps, there is none,” he said, and shrugged. “Perhaps, it’s all about what makes us happy, after all. And finding out you lied to me and spent the weekend with him, didn’t make me happy at all.”

Now that he was so honest with you, you could be honest with him too. “I also wasn’t happy when you told me you would get a female visitor this weekend.”

A long pause followed the conversation before you confessed,

“But you picking up the phone and being here with me now, makes me really happy.”

“Yeah,” he agreed quietly, “I’m also happy you called me and didn’t rely on him.”

He didn’t ask what exactly had happened with Jaemin, and you also didn’t ask him about the other woman when you arrived at his empty home much later that day to pick up your dog after having visited your grandmother together first. 

She didn’t get hurt except for a bruise by her hip and would be fine after being taken care of in the hospital for a few days. You visited her every day for one week straight, but on neither of these days did you see Jaehyun or Jaemin.

The fact that you were disappointed would be an understatement, but you were too caught up with everything going on at this point that you couldn't waste too many unnecessary thoughts in their behaviors.

____

A week later, you and your mother returned home with your grandma. Despite her refusing your offer, you had still insisted on taking one week off from work and living with her, just in case something could happen again and until she regained her health. 

Nevertheless, you as a family had all agreed on hiring a caretaker that would look after her half a day and who would start right after your week off with her. After a few attempted protests from your grandma’s side though, she had eventually given in as well.

“Where’s all the food I requested?” you asked in astonishment as you opened shelf after shelf in your grandmother’s kitchen, but each of them you found empty. “Didn’t father and uncle do grocery shopping? I made an entire list for them and they knew she’d return today.”

“Oh, they were busy last night,” your mother explained after she had taken your grandmother to her bedroom. “They’ll do it later today.”

You rolled your eyes as you tried to fight the wave of reproach against your family. “Busy with watching football all night long probably. What did they think would happen when we came back home with grandmother? There are no ingredients to make food for her and when I looked into the bathroom, she had also run out of toilet paper. What were they thin-”

“Honey…” Your mom placed her hands on your shoulders to calm you down, but somehow, her not getting as heated up as you was making you even more disappointed. Were you the only one who cared? “Please be reassured that everything is going to be fine.”

“How?” you asked back, a tinge of anger in your voice. “We come back and the sheets are not washed, we have nothing we can make food of for her and we cannot even-”

Your mom exhaled deeply as she tried to convince you again, “Let’s just order the most important necessities online, okay? Then your father and uncle will bring the rest later today, it’s really not a big deal.”

“Sweetheart, will you come here, please?” you heard your grandmother suddenly disrupt your conversation. 

You let out a long sigh, threw another glare at your mom and then left for the bedroom.

“I’m sorry, grandma,” you apologized as you popped into her bedroom with your head first. “I will go to the store right now to bring you the necessities. You don’t need to worry about this, please relax.”

“I do not worry about this,” she reassured you. “I feel so fine here. And you do not need to worry that much either, it’s all going to be fine.”

“No,” you cried out and shook your head, tears welling up on the brim of your eyes. All your feelings came crashing down on you at once, feelings that you had tried to push aside for an entire week. “Nothing is ever going to be fine again!”

You sat down by her bedside and dropped your head. Her soft, warm hand found your fingers and gave them a comforting squeeze. “Is this about your husband?”

“Yes,” you admitted, and ‘no’ you wanted to say simultaneously as this wasn’t about your husband alone. Perhaps, now ex-husband on official papers even. “Why did he never show up again after going to the hospital with me the first day? I thought… he still cared, not only about me, but about you too. I’m so disappointed. I thought he was different.”

The last sentence was dedicated to both of them, though you confessed silently to yourself that you had never expected this from Jaehyun, out of the two. 

“But dear… he did come.”

You lifted your head and wiped away a tear that had dangled on the corner of your eye as you faced your grandmother with much surprise. “What are you saying, grandma?”

“He came every single day in the morning before work, we talked for half an hour when I was awake. I thought you knew?”

You had no idea, and looking at your grandma now, who was grinning widely and also a bit sneakily, made you assume that perhaps, she had kept it a secret on purpose - because the effect, when you found out, would be so much more impactful.

And it was.

“Grandma, I had no idea…”

“That’s why I asked you, before you decided to separate, did you really give it your all and tried everything possible to fix your marriage before moving on? Because, as far as I can see, you’re not the only one not ready to do so entirely.”

“I… I can’t say. I don’t know. And it doesn’t matter anymore, grandma,” you eventually said. “Even if we both wanted it, it’s too late. He has probably already signed the papers and sent them out.”

“Fine. But don’t forget my words. If, at some point in your life, you realize that you have made the wrong decision, don’t hesitate for a single second and tell him.” She leaned back into the pillows. “It’s almost afternoon, I want to sleep. Can you close the door behind you then, dear?”

“Of course.” You gave her a kiss on the forehead and quietly walked out of her room.

Back in the kitchen, you saw your mom sitting at the table, scrolling through her phone. Why was she not up and about yet to do some grocery shopping or at least call your father to do the trip? You were fed up by now, fueled by your grandmother’s words too.

“Mom, I’m going to the store and I’ll take your car.”

“Okay.”

That was it. You knew she had had a lot on her plate too, but why did everyone not take this situation seriously enough? 

When you put on your jacket as it was freezing outside, you wondered whether you were overreacting and just putting all your time and energy into this situation, moving here and taking care of things, just so you didn’t need to think about how your own life was falling apart. As long as you could take care of someone else, you didn’t need to face your own problems. Hadn’t this been the root of your downfall as well?

After all, when you returned home after this week, you would get a call from your lawyer to confirm that the divorce was through. You had specifically requested for him not to call while you were here.

What then, after that? Then, you were a divorced woman, and you weren’t ready to settle with this term yet.

“Careful!”

You nearly ran into a tall figure when you opened the entrance door. A familiar scent touched your nose, strong hands holding you by your arms so that you could keep your balance after the impact. 

“What are you doing here?” you asked Jaehyun as your gaze simultaneously scanned his appearance, and you spotted two big bags of groceries to either of his sides on the floor. 

“I thought since your grandmother would come home today, you would need a helping hand,” he stated and pointed at the grocery bags. You saw toilet paper, rice, water, and other necessities peeking out. “I didn’t know what to buy, so I just brought a bit of everything. Is that… okay?”

You couldn’t help yourself but fell into his arms, hot tears streaming down your cheeks. It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off your shoulder, and suddenly, this entire situation didn’t seem so difficult and hopeless anymore.

You had felt so left alone, like you had overreacted and that your feelings weren’t valid. But now your husband was here, having shown up in ways nobody else was. Your feelings were valid, they had always been to him.

Perhaps, your grandmother had been right all along. 

No, you hadn’t tried everything possible, because this clearance came way too late now, and you couldn’t apologize anymore for sometimes being a selfish, spoiled brat that had demanded much more from her husband than he was able to give. And always, you had wanted more and more.

Your views on life and the way you wanted to live it had started to take separate roads and you had thought this was not fixable anymore, but was that really what mattered after all?

It wasn’t about who was there for you all the time. Your problems couldn’t have been solved in that way either. That was why it couldn’t have worked out with Jaemin too. It wasn’t about this at all.

It was about who showed up during the times you truly needed someone. And it was always Jaehyun. When you needed support, a helping hand or someone to call during an emergency, he had always been there.

If you needed someone at all times, it could be anyone. But if you needed someone when times were hard, it was Jaehyun.

It had always been Jaehyun. 

“Your grandma is going to be fine,” Jaehyun whispered and gently patted the back of your head.

But you weren’t crying over your grandmother anymore, but about your failed marriage.

Because yes, you regretted it deeply and had not given it your all.

Because now, it was too late.

Neither of you spoke about the divorce papers that day.

____

Jaehyun didn’t come over anymore and neither did you reach out to him during the week you lived with your grandmother. 

You were determined to make it on your own from then on. Very soon, you were an official divorcée and single dog mom, so it was better to start early with this new lifestyle. Knowing you too well, Jaehyun might have already sensed it as he was leaving you completely alone during that time.

You brought Kang Kang with you to live and thus your days started with walking your dog before helping your grandmother get ready and preparing breakfast that you eventually ate together just like the other meals. Even though your grandmother was still able to do most things by herself, you noticed how slower, shakier and sometimes disoriented she had become. 

Time was not stopping, for nobody.

During the day you were occupied with doing chores, taking care of paperwork as well as your grandmother and Kang Kang. At the end of each day, you fell into your bed, absolutely exhausted and tired. Your mind was always occupied as well and there was no space for other things except for those brief moments during nighttime when you were alone and neither busy in a physical way or in your mind.

Then, you stared at the ceiling and wept.

Because you missed Jaehyun so badly and wished for him to be with you. You would have done anything for him to be here right now, but your marriage was over and you needed to move on without him. 

Everyday with this realization was hard, but luckily, no day grew harder than the day before. Eventually, they would only grow brighter.

That was your silver lining. 

____

Realizing that you wanted to be with Jaehyun after all, meant in retrospect that you couldn’t be with Jaemin. And just because you couldn’t be with Jaehyun, didn’t mean you should be with Jaemin. That was not how it worked, unfortunately.

“Hey, it’s me,” you spoke on the phone, watching the skyline from your window the first night you had returned to your home. 

He had promised to always pick up when you called, but this time, he hadn’t. You were struggling to come to terms with the fact that he indeed didn’t want to be reached by you either this time. Perhaps, not anymore at all.

You remembered why you had married Jaehyun.

You had married him, because he took care of the people he loved, because he made things seem more bearable when they weren’t and because when he said he would pick up whenever you called, he actually did. That was not a void Jaemin could just fill.

You would always search for a Jaehyun in his eyes, and that was not fair, because he was not. He was Jaemin, an entirely different person. And there was a person out there that would be perfect for him, too.

“I just wanted to tell you that this is the last time you will ever hear from me.” Softly, Kang Kang was snoring in the corner, filling the pause that then followed.

Maturing was realizing that just because you wanted to be with someone, you shouldn’t be with them. Maturing was realizing that only because you didn’t want to be alone, you should be with someone. Maturing was realizing that even on the third try, some people still weren’t meant to be together.

Tears sprang from your eyes, but your voice gave no hint of it. “Truth to be told, I am very disappointed that you never showed up again… called me, or at least sent a message, asked me how we are. It was a very hard time for me and you just… weren’t there.”

But someone else had been. You dried your cheeks with the back of your hand. 

“Yes, I could have messaged or called you too… but why should I have when I was the one suffering? Admittedly, I also didn’t need to. I handled it all myself very well. That made me realize… I wanted this, Jaemin. I wanted this so much, with you. But I didn’t need it. I don’t need you. And the past weeks made me realize that you feel the same. You don’t need me either.”

You could live without Jaehyun and you could live without Jaemin, you just had to be strong enough to make it on your own now that you had neither. 

And you would make it on your own. 

You had the drive, passion and strength all within you, you just had failed to notice for so long. After all, you had been able to take care of your grandmother, dog and everyone around you for the past weeks. So taking care of yourself wouldn’t be harder than that.

Had you broken down and experienced weak moments? Yes, several times. But that had only made you stronger.

“I’m strong and not afraid, I will always make it on my own. And you will make it too. Go out into the world, perhaps even travel to America where you always wanted to go, make your dream about music come true… I wish for you to achieve everything you’ve ever wanted, with my whole heart.” You swallowed hard and added, “It’s just not going to be with me. I don’t know where my place is yet, but it’s not by your side.”

For now, your best companion was yourself. And your dog. And actually, that was enough.

You finished speaking on the mailbox with, “Goodbye, Jaemin.”

You didn’t hesitate to delete his number and block him all across social media. This time, for good.

The fact that you cried yourself to sleep that night would be your own little secret to keep, but it would also be the very last time you would find yourself in a position to cry over Jaemin, ever.

The next morning, you felt free. The air was clear and crisp. It was cloudy, but not snowing. Thank god.

____

“I apologize for having to tell you this, but Mr. Jeong hasn’t signed the divorce papers.”

“Pardon me?” 

It had been a dreadful feeling to take the call from your lawyer the next morning. The more surprised you were about the actual message he had just passed down to you. Your breath caught.

“His lawyer told me he refuses to sign them and sent them back to me unsigned, that’s why I couldn’t send them to you yet.”

You frowned as you suddenly turned utterly confused. “But why? What did he say? Is there something he still wants to negotiate over?”

“They didn’t tell me, just that he refuses to sign them. I’ll resolve this for you, be at ease.”

“Don’t,” you held him back. “I’ll do it myself.”

“You’re not allow-”

But you had already hung up and were halfway out of the door, he didn’t even come to end his sentence.

____

Not even an hour later, you were standing in front of Jaehyun’s apartment door, ringing the bell like a maniac. He looked at you like he had expected you already as you stood in front of him with your arms folded in front of your chest.

“Took you long enough.”

“Care to explain to me why you sent the documents back unsigned?”

“Come inside,” he invited you calmly.

Your eyes narrowed. “Your girlfriend doesn't mind?”

“We haven’t seen each other since that weekend… and I rather want it to stay this way.”

Your heart jumped. That basically meant they weren’t together anymore, you concluded as you followed him into his apartment and took your shoes off in the corridor. 

“What about Jaemin?” 

“Same.”

It seemed that you both didn’t want to talk about your past lovers, and even though you were curious, if he had to elaborate, then you needed to as well, and there was no way you would ever want to live through the past weeks again.

“I was thinking about our conversation in the car back from Jeonju,” he began as he shifted around to face you the moment you arrived in the living room, “about what makes me happy. When we were separated, we didn’t see each other, and I was happy living a life I haven’t gotten a taste of before. I was happy doing new stuff, trying out new things, being untied from you. Because what made me unhappy… was you.”

Your eye twitched as you didn’t know whether you should feel offended now. But when you let the words sink in and contemplated them, you felt exactly the same. Seeing and spending time with your husband had dreaded you of all your energy and happiness as you two had forgotten how to be happy together anymore.

And you told him exactly that now.

“I agree.” He nodded. “And then I thought about what made me really unhappy. Because up until two weeks ago, I was really happy. And then came you, and you made me feel so miserable.”

You drew your brows together, not quite sure if you had heard right. But you had, and it stung. No, it actually hurt very much that it took all your might to refrain yourself from crying right now. “I… still make you unhappy?”

But Jaehyun’s facial expression didn’t match his words as he nodded. His features were soft, a slight smile playing around his lips. There was no way he could find this amusing?

“It makes me unhappy to see you unhappy. It makes me unhappy to see you suffering because of your grandmother and simultaneously getting mistreated by the guy who is supposed to make you happy. Because if he can’t do it, who will? I was just too blind to see this.”

You dropped your gaze. Jaehyun had. He had shown up in ways nobody else ever had. Just to… see you happy, because he couldn’t stand the thought of you being sad and miserable?

Knowing he was pushing so far, he didn’t wait for you to reply, but instead wanted to know, “What makes you unhappy?”

“When you’re not with me.”

With slow steps, he approached you until he stood tall and calm in front of you. You lifted your head and looked into his clear and sincere eyes.

“Please don’t ask me what will make me happy, Jaehyun,” you pleaded him straight-forwardly. “Because I’m not sure whether you’d like the answer.”

“What if I’d like to hear it?”

You furrowed in worry. “At all cost?”

Jaehyun inhaled sharply as though in tension, but his soft features remained. 

“What if you don’t like it?” you asked.

“You will never know if you don’t try, right?”

‘If, at some point in your life, you realize that you have made the wrong decision, don’t hesitate for a single second and tell him.’ You remembered your grandmother’s words too well.

He didn’t expect it though when you threw your arms around his neck and pulled him down to you. 

He still tasted exactly like in your memories.

____

“Are you excited, Kang Kang?” 

Your dog yelped and ran around in circles. You patted his head when he eventually came to a standstill in front of you and looked up to you with big eyes.

“Are you excited to live with your dad again?”

As though in response, Kang Kang started to whirl around again and you laughed. Lately, you found yourself laughing very often, and every time it came from deep within you with all sincerity and happiness. 

In the past two weeks, your grandmother had started to settle with her new caretaker so that you could cut down your visits to once or twice a week, because you were currently busy moving houses. But each time, Jaehyun came with you, and your grandmother was overjoyed.

You had decided to move into a new home together that wasn’t riddled with memories of a very unpleasant phase in your marriage that had almost ended it for good. It was just as big and beautiful as this apartment, but you had already agreed that that one would only be a temporary home as well.

Maybe, not too far in the future, you could move outside of the city where Kang Kang would have a garden to run around in and where he would have playmates, maybe both, a boy and girl.

You blushed at the thought and looked at the engagement ring and wedding band that you had been wearing again since the day you had found out that your husband had never signed the divorce papers.

Just because you could make it on your own didn’t mean you wanted and needed to. After all, you had given a vow to each other, because somewhere in the past, you were so happy, you had agreed on spending the rest of your lives with each other. And that meant something, so much more than anyone not married could imagine. 

You weren’t walking down the aisle thinking you’re going to get divorced. You got married, because this was supposed to be forever.

Yes, it was right that it took much less to turn “Till death do us part” into “Till your lack of time for me do us part”, but unlike the worst case scenario, everything else was fixable. 

The movers were busy carrying down the last boxes with your stuff while you put Kang Kang on a leash. Looking around your old apartment for one last time, you bid farewell to this home of yours that not only bore bliss, but also destruction. But you had come out of it stronger, better than before.

You wouldn’t say that all your differences were now solved by deciding to get back together. Love alone couldn’t magically make them disappear, that was not how it worked. But you had talked long about this, what you needed to get back to where you had once been.

You had thought of your grandmother’s words every so often. No, you had not given it all yet, you eventually had to admit to her personally too, and she had only smiled, as though in knowing. Jaehyun and you both still had, apart from love of course, the passion, the determination, the strength. And hope. 

As long as there was that, your marriage was fixable.

And this time, you would make sure nothing would do you part again.

“The movers are ready, so we should get to the car. Here, let me take Kang Kang.”

Your heart was full of love and hope too when Jaehyun appeared at your door with a smile and took the leash from you after giving you a kiss on your cheek. 

Jaehyun was a husband who took care of things, so that you wouldn’t need to. Wasn’t this what marriage was about? Making each other’s lives easier and happier, because life itself was already hard enough.

Your grandmother had realized this very early. What a woman.

You didn’t think of Jaemin that often anymore. Only every now and then, he involuntarily crossed your mind and tugged on your heartstrings as a strong memory that day by day slowly faded, too. His face became blurry when you tried to remember his exact features, and eventually, he would only be a flash of a picture among a string of memories when you thought back to this time. As it had always been.

The only difference was that you had shut down every possibility of reaching out on either side. When you caught yourself wanting to unblock him and look him up on social media, you put your phone aside and let the feeling pass. It really worked wonders.

And one day, even this urge would perish.

When you stepped onto the streets that were still layered with a thin sheen of snow and ice, you noticed that the sun was shining and a touch of spring lingered in the air. The temperature would start to get warmer soon as well.

Your husband helped Kang Kang into the back of the car before he circled it and opened the door for you. And that was it, the huge difference. So subtle, but so grave all at once, it nearly made your heart burst.

“Are you ready to go home?” Jaehyun asked.

And finally, you answered, “Yes, I really want to go home.”  

Winter was still here, but in your heart, it was already summer when your husband took your hand.

You wanted rays of sunshine, warm breezes, salt on your skin and the chanting of crickets.

You wanted it to always be summer.

You wanted your husband.

____

One month prior

Jaemin had followed you all the way back to Seoul that very same day your grandmother had been admitted to the hospital, ditching the biggest opportunity in his entire life after all.

After he had seen you so disappointed and sad, mostly because of him, your expression hadn’t left his mind for hours. When it dawned on him what he was doing to you, letting you down in a very crucial situation, he wanted to beat himself up for being such a selfish idiot once again and had directly made his way to the café where you had fled to. But when he had arrived, you were already gone. 

Following you all the way to Seoul, he had been thinking of all the ways he could make it up to you. He had booked a hotel in the city and prepared to stay there for as long as you needed him. But when he had arrived, he saw you in front of the hospital and you weren’t alone. 

You had been with your husband and he had held you close as you cried in his arms, he had seen it all from his car.

He was too late again, he had thought. But when he had looked closer, the way Jaehyun was holding you and consoling you, he knew that timing wasn’t the problem, it had never been. 

You couldn’t be hugged like this by anyone. Jaemin couldn’t embrace you the way Jaehyun did, and it turned out to be a painful realization for him. It couldn’t be him, it also couldn’t be anyone else. It had to be Jaehyun.

It had always been Jaehyun.

___

“May I come in?”

Jaemin stood in front of Jaehyun’s door later that fateful day after you had left with your dog, facing his former best friend in person for the first time in many years. 

Occasionally, he would look at his social media after he had found out on a random day that Jaehyun had unblocked him and vice versa. Somehow, they still wanted to know what the other was up to, who they were up to with. The irony of that.

Jaehyun remained quiet, but pushed the door open for him. 

“Why are you here?” Jaehyun then asked him when they reached the living room. “She’s not here.”

“I know,” Jaemin answered. “I came for you.”

“So?” He braced his arm against the table and leaned back. “The invitations for the tea party are not out yet.”

“There is no need to be so condescending.” At this point, Jaemin was just so tired and wanted to leave this all behind him. “After today, I will be out of your lives, forever.”

“Sounds tempting. But as you know, we will be officially divorced soon, so she’s all yours to have.”

“But I’m not the one she needs.”

Jaehyun drew his brow together. “You’re the one she wants to be with.”

He smiled mildly and repeated, “But I’m not the one she needs. We don’t need to be together a fourth time to figure this out. You show up in ways I will never be able to, you’re the one she needs, even if she doesn’t see it yet.”

“Well… you’re too late.” Jaehyun shrugged. “I’ll sign the papers and will send them to my lawyer tomorrow. You think she’s some puppet you can toss around when you’re done playing just to pick her up again when it’s convenient for you? That’s not how relationships work.”

“I know.” Jaemin dropped his head in regret. “I’ve never wanted all of this. I’ve always wanted the best for…”

“...yourself,” Jaehyun ended the sentence aloud.

“... her,” Jaemin ended the sentence in his head.

And even though everything was different now, even though he had evolved and grown so much as a person, it was easier to let them believe that he was still the selfish, hard-headed Jaemin from the past. 

After all, he couldn't hold her like Jaehyun to make her feel so happy. 

It had to be someone particular. It had to be him.

And if he would be gone, then no one could make her happy anymore.

So Jaemin dashed forward and grabbed his former friend by the collar. Jaehyun was too perplexed to instantly react and just faced his opposite with a shocked expression.

“Listen up,” Jaemin growled, “if you send out signed divorce papers, I will come for you in the worst way possible. If you don’t rekindle this marriage with her, I will make your life a living hell. We might not like each other anymore, but we both love her, and if I ever see you making her sad again, you can dig your own grave. You will fix this marriage, no matter the cost, are we in the clear?”

He slowly let go of Jaehyun after luring out a reluctant nod from him. Latter cleared his throat and asked, “... but, do you think she even still wants to be with me?”

This time, Jaemin’s smile was sincere. “I’m absolutely sure about that. Show her again the reason why she was picking you over me, again and again. Remind her of all the traits that make you so much better for her than me, and she will choose you again. If she hasn’t already. Or do you not want t-”

“I do!” Jaehyun blurted out. “I absolutely do.”

Jaemin stretched out his arm and gave his former friend’s shoulder an encouraging squeeze. “Very well.”

When he made his way to the door, Jaehyun stopped him with the words, “Thank you. Honestly.”

Initially, he wanted to turn around, but it was starting to burn behind his eyes, so Jaemin kept his back turned to Jaehyun and said,

“Don’t make me regret this.”

____

Jaemin threw his phone into the bushes on his way out.

So, what now?

He turned his head to the sky, and even though the tears started streaming down his face now, he tucked his hands into the pockets of his jacket and smiled through the blurriness. The wind was cold and burned his wet cheeks, and suddenly, it started snowing again.

This pain would vanish, he was sure of that. When you had fixed your marriage, got children and grew old together, his pain would eventually pass in this timeline. 

Yet, at that moment, it felt like it ripped Jaemin’s heart to shreds, even to the point where he wondered if he was actually tricking himself into believing that he would be fixed again or had to live the rest of his life with this ache slowly eating him up from the inside until there was nothing left of him anymore except for the frayed edges of his once so lively soul.

Jaemin took a deep breather and swallowed the next wave of tears.

He had no regrets, despite everything. And he still had hope. As long as there was that and he was able to hold onto these faint strings, he would continue on.

A fresh start, that was what he needed now as he trotted to his car. Far away from you and Jaehyun so that your paths would never cross again in this lifetime. That was the last selfless act he could still offer to you.

America sounded good.

[jenscx]

HAPPINESS — yu jimin x f!reader

jimin made you feel like life was worth living for.

TAGS — situationship, strangers to lovers, ive member!yn, jealousy, angst, fluff, birthday fic for jimin

WORDCOUNT — 3.8k

it hadn’t been long since you and karina met. by luck, she was attending a fashion show and had gravitated to you during the after-party. it was an unforgettable experience; one of the most gorgeous idols constantly hovering around you, eyes lingering on the silky black, backless dress you adorned, fingers dancing across your arms… needless to say, you had immediately asked for her contact information, only to receive a cryptic smile in return.

“why not just,” she whispered, “come back to my place instead?”

you had instantly declined, “i’m sorry, i don’t do that. and don’t you live with your members anyway?” karina merely shrugged, eyes twinkling with a gleam you couldn’t name. 

“then shouldn’t we go back to yours?”

exasperated, you shake your head, “i just said, i don’t do that. i was interested before, and you are jaw-droppingly beautiful, but i’m not intending to go anywhere tonight, karina.”

the girl hesitated for a few seconds. you raised an eyebrow. she grins, “call me jimin.”

it had only been a month since that interaction. since then, your relationship has progressed. from strangers to friends and now tethering on the edge of a relationship. or as your member yujin had described, a ‘situationship’. it was so easy to open up to jimin, her sweet talk, midnight chats and relentless insistence to annoy you had captured your attention. she was so stupidly cute. 

you had fallen. 

and jimin seemed to have as well. 

no one would stay up till midnight talking to a situationship unless they really liked them, right? 

and even though jimin had a schedule the next day, you and her were still in a heated discussion about which ice cream flavour was the superior one (it was always vanilla).

the alarm on your phone rang. in bright words read, ‘milan fashion show.’ you smile to yourself. it was another chance to see jimin after her hectic schedule. you barely had time to see her during her break, and now your schedules finally matched up. you couldn’t wait to see her.

jiminie [7.41am]:

hihihi good morning

i’ll see u ltr :))

ynie [8.20am]:

morning!

can’t wait. 

you turn your phone off with a bright grin, barely keeping your excitement under wraps. your flight was at 10 and by the time you reached milan, it would be around 11 in the evening. it was going to be a long flight, but the thought of seeing jimin again made your stomach tighten up. was this what people in relationships feel? it was so bizarre that the simple thought of someone could so easily make you feel breathless. 

unable to contain your exhilaration, you get some weird stares from your manager and assistants. meekly apologising, you close your eyes as they drive to the airport, dreaming of a certain main dancer.

you blink. how did you get here?

jimin, was just standing a few feet away from you, but she had barely spared you a glance the whole day. she didn’t even greet you or anything. even after the crew had asked for you two to stand together, jimin was at least a metre away, not daring to stand in your vicinity. you could cry.

especially with the heart eyes every other person was sending her way. you swallow the lump in your throat, staring at the man who stood a little close for comfort next to her. and throughout the show, you could only stare longingly at the back of her head, sighing every once in a while when the two of them would pose. it was devastating.

“you good?” one of the other attendants asked. you think you recognise them from a recent drama you’ve watched.

“yeah,” you mumble, taking a sip of the champagne in your glass. at the corner of your eye, you could see jimin and that man conversing, both sharing giggles and whispers. your grip on the glass tightens. groaning, you look away, trying to hide the hurt on your face from being ignored so obviously. all your attempts at conversation had been shut down and she brushed past all your waves.

you saunter to the corner, taking a seat and pulling out your phone.

yujin [9.27pm]:

how’s it gg

yn [10.14pm]:

it’s like i don’t even exist.

i don’t know what i should do

she keeps talking to some guy

yujin [10.15pm]:

girl gtfo

you agree with yujin. if karina wanted to ignore you, so be it. there was nothing for you to do anyway. after sending a quick message to your manager, you get back up, heading back to the group of actors and idols alike that were engaged in conversation.

coincidentally, karina and her partner for the night had joined as well. it wasn’t difficult to avoid eye contact when she wouldn’t even look in your direction.

“i’ve requested for more champagne,” one of them say, “anybody wants a refill?”

a murmur of chorus emerges.

the waiter stares at your glass expectantly, the bottle in his hand waiting.

“ah… no, i’m leaving soon,” you say awkwardly, handing your glass to another waiter passing by. karina’s head shoots up.

“shame,” they all agree.

“your manager’s picking you up?” karina finally speaks. you longed for her voice, but you’re not very appreciative of it now.

you nod, barely wanting to start a conversation with the girl.

“i’ll walk you out.”

can you really refuse in front of all these people? you already had a reputation of being a bitch. refusing karina’s offer was going to severely damage your image.

you just hold your tongue.

the cold air greets you warmly, unlike karina. you relish in the gusts of wind, waiting patiently outside the gala for your manager’s distinguishable car. karina hums a gentle tune, turning to you.

“how was the show?”

“good,” you reply, curt.

karina doesn’t back down.

“you had fun?” you nod.

“i didn’t get to talk to you at all, it’s sad you’re leaving now.”

you shrug.

“why are you leaving so early?”

“tired.”

“hm, okay.”

you stand in silence while karina fidgets beside you, her hands constantly twirling her hair and eyes darting around. cursing yourself, you take a quick glance at her. the girl’s deep, lush and dark hair flows charmingly in the wind. her eyes draw you in, hypnotising you deeply, full of uncertainty and hesitance for the first time you’ve met her.

“do you have something to say?” you ask. karina huffs, blowing her bangs covering her eyes.

“i do, but it just depends if you’ll listen to me.”

“depends on what you’re asking for,” you reply.

karina smiles, smaller than before, “stay. just for a few more minutes. with me.”

you contemplate. just for a few minutes.

“only until my manager comes.”

she falters, it’s the first time you’ve ever subtly rejected her company, but a practised mask of indifference is put on.

there’s an uncomfortable silence, one that neither of you are willing to acknowledge. you start to regret your decision; you should have just asked her to go back in, instead of waiting out here with you like a fool.

“minjeong’s been talking about this milan cathedral, called duomo di milano, it’s really pretty,” karina looks at you expectantly, “do you have the day off tomorrow for sightseeing?”

you answer slowly, “i do have the day off...”

“where are you staying? i’ll come pick you up.”

“but i don’t want to go, karina,” you complete your sentence. shock passes her face rather quickly.

“uhm, do you want to go somewhere else?”

you shake your head, wanting her to get the hint that you weren’t exactly jumping for the opportunity to hang out.

“we could go shopping at this galleria that aeri mentioned, it has a hotel and everything.”

“no, thanks for offering.”

karina’s tethering on the edge of distress, her face showing visible distraught by now, no longer caring to hide behind a mask of impassiveness. you check your phone again. notifications line your lock screen, most of them coming from yujin.

yujin [10.29pm]:

are u out of there yet

make sure to get back safe

also call me ltr i need to tell u smth

omg jiwon js told me she left seo at home alone

you smile at yujin messages. the leader’s caring nature makes your heart warm and the mention of your other members makes you miss them.

“your manager texting you?” karina asks.

“uh, no,” you reply vaguely, not very keen on talking to her. karina frowns.

“are you sick? do you feel unwell?” she lifts a hand up to touch your neck. the fleeting touch of her fingers already caused goosebumps against your skin.

“i’m fine, karina.”

the mention of her name makes her glare at you, “didn’t i say to call me jimin?”

unable to answer coherently, you settle for silence. karina huffs, seemingly getting irritated.

she opens her mouth once again, but the honk of a car distracts you. the window rolls down and you recognise your manager.

“thanks for uhm, staying here with me,” you bow, “have a good night.” you were upset, but that wouldn’t stop you from being polite.

karina merely watches you leave.

your manager gives you about five minutes of peace and tranquillity before unleashing an onslaught of questions onto you, like “why’d you leave?” or “did someone say something to you?” you answer truthfully to most of his questions.

unable to get a proper response, he just drives back and tells you to not get into any trouble on your day-off.

(“what trouble would i even get into?”

“i’ll actually quit if dispatch posts a photo of you drinking with your friends.”

“that would be impossible since i don’t have any friends.”)

meanwhile, yujin fills you in on the stupid shit your members get up to during your absence. like rei putting aluminium into the microwave and wonyoung just managing to stop her in time.

your phone lights up with notifications throughout the night and you hate the fact that it doesn’t bring you the same excitement like before. the morning after, a chain of messages graces your phone.

jiminie [9.17am]:

are u awake?

jiminie [9.20am]:

when are u gg back to korea?

hello?

ynie [9.31am]:

tmrw

jiminie [9.31am]:

do u feel like gg out tdy?

you turn off your phone, sighing. you would have felt bad for being so distant but the mere thought of karina with that guy yesterday night made you feel unneeded. why was she texting you and asking to hang out with you when she already had someone to go to?

there was no point overthinking about her.

karina would just be another failed situationship. she didn’t mean that much to you (she did). she wasn’t the first thing you thought of once you woke up (she was). and she definitely couldn’t be a good girlfriend for you (she definitely could be).

the hotel doorbell rings. you quirk an eyebrow, not remembering ever ordering room service. maybe your manager knew you wouldn’t be going out for breakfast.

you don’t bother checking the peephole, the hotel you were staying at was very tight on security and only celebrities stayed at this floor. you open the door, stomach grumbling at the thought of food.

“yn.”

oh.

karina stands at your door, a small smile on her face. you feel terribly underdressed compared to her in your bathrobe and messy bed hair.

“good morning,” you greet hoarsely.

“hurry up and get dressed.”

you stop karina from entering your room.

“what are you talking about?”

“we’re going out whether you like it or not. you shouldn’t rot in your room, you should be exploring milan, before you leave, with me.”

do you really have a choice to say no? (yes, you do).

in your heart, you knew in the end, you wouldn’t ever say no to karina.

“okay.”

she grins and you forget why you were even upset in the first place.

karina waits patiently while you finish getting ready. she’s on the balcony admiring the view when you’re done.

“where are we going?” you grab a mask and a cap as karina puts on her shoes again.

“it’s a surprise, and you don’t need those,” karina answers, pointing at the items in your hand. you frown.

“people will recognise me. they’ll see me with you.”

karina shakes her head, “it’s fine, i don’t mind it.”

i mind it though.

you end up leaving them by your bedside table.

“where are we going?” you repeat as karina drags you out of the door. she groans, “stop asking! i already told you it’s a surprise.”

“i need to tell my manager.”

karina pouts, “i’ve already contacted him, just stop worrying about everything.”

her words seem so easy to believe now. to stop worrying about everything.

the streets of milan are filled with cafes and luxury brands. with it being one of the most visited cities, tourists and locals alike roam the area. at every corner, there’s either an art gallery or museum. you must admit that the architecture is simply amazing. quaint bookstores and coffee shops provide a sense of peace away from the bustling metropolitan city. milan was beautiful.

karina pulls you into a cafe, the strong aroma of coffee already filling your senses. there’s a quiet ambience of chatter and the soft footsteps of the waiters walking around. the girl brings you to one of the tables near the window. it gives you a view of a clothing shop adjacent to the cafe, full of customers.

“milan’s called a fashion capital,” karina remarks, “it’s one of europe’s most dynamic cities.” when you don’t reply, karina stands up, awkwardly saying, “i’ll go order our food.”

you nod.

she comes back soon, red in the face and fumbling with her wallet.

you ignore it.

“uhm, anyway, did you sleep well last night?”

“yeah.”

“okay… uh, what time is your flight tomorrow?”

“i think it’s in the morning,” you feel pity for karina who’s been desperately trying to keep the conversation going, “what about you?”

karina’s face lights up, “it’s at one in the afternoon.”

the waiter soon arrives with your food. its mouth-watering. karina hands the waiter a note and says something in italian that you don’t understand.

“you can speak italian?” you ask, curiosity taking over you.

“yeah, a little,” karina mumbles. she doesn’t seem to want to elaborate, so you don’t bother asking any more. you gorge yourself out with the pastries that karina ordered, all while she looks a little constipated and unsure.

“you’re not going to eat?”

“i… i already ate before coming here.”

you nod, continuing to chew.

“it’s so early, who’s awake to even eat with?”

karina mutters, “i ate with jaewook.” you swallow the piece of bread in your mouth. the sweetness you tasted on your tongue is gone, just left with a bitter taste. you regret even asking her. you regret coming out of your hotel to eat pastries with her at 9 in the morning.

your head feels clouded. it’s not only gravity pulling you down. it’s a wrangling chain clutching your heart, pulling it into your stomach. the more you think about karina and that guy together, the more you feel like puking out all the sweet treats you stuffed your mouth with. you wanted to get rid of anything related to her.

“are you okay?” she asks.

no, you want to reply.

“i wanna go back,” you say instead.

lying was always better than telling her the truth.

“what? no, uhm,” karina blurts out, panicked, “you can’t go back yet, we still have a lot to sightsee.”

“please let me go back,” you beg, feeling a wave of nausea take over. between her incessant pleading to not leave and the vision of the two of them, jealousy fills your every vein.

“i planned a lot for today and oh my god, yn—” you can’t stand it anymore.

swiftly, you take out a wad of cash, placing it on the table and leaving the cafe without a second look behind. you stomp out quick, steady steps back to the hotel and you can feel karina hot on your heels. she calls out for your name, but to no avail do you turn back. you think of a plan. once you get back to your room, you’re going to block karina on everything. she’s never going to exist in your life ever again. if your job requires you to interact with her, it’s a bare minimum. you’ll break off contact with all of your mutual friends, ryujin, minjeong, maybe chaewon (but yujin and wonyoung would kill you).

it’s only when you reach a traffic light that karina catches up with you. once it flashes red, you groan. you can basically see karina’s triumphant smirk at the corner of your eye.

“are you done running now?”

you take a good look at karina. she’s panting, not more than you are, and her cheeks are flushed red.

the light flashes green.

“no.”

and the chase begins again.

karina tails you until you reach the hotel lobby. you open up your purse, searching for the keycard. karina is just a few steps behind.

you hear gasps of recognition behind you, the very reason you wanted to cover up your identity.

the moment the lift reaches the ground floor, you slide in, rapidly pressing the close button. karina, however, navigates through the crowd and manages to reach the lift in time.

you groan, your attempt at running away has failed. maybe you could still convince karina to leave you alone somehow. she wouldn’t try to break into your room, right?

“this is awkward now.”

“yeah, i wasn’t expecting you to follow me,” you sneer, “if a woman says she wants to leave, just let her leave for god’s sake.”

“okay, that’s my fault but you literally left out of nowhere, and you’ve been acting weird ever since last night,” karina argues back.

the lift beeps. you exit it with karina following you closely behind, still ongoing about your sudden change in behaviour.

“like last night, you left early and we didn’t even have time to talk or anything, and when i asked you about it you didn’t even explain anything?! just brushed me off and left! can you just tell me what’s going on?”

you two reach your room.

“i don’t need to explain myself to you. i said i was tired.”

“okay, but what about today? i planned the whole day for us to hang out and you just got up and left? what the hell! are you just an asshole who plays with people’s feelings? you told me you ‘can’t wait to see me’ and then just left like that,” karina raises her voice. a elderly couple passes you two and you feel self-conscious. you were just standing outside your room letting karina yell at you.

“come in then yell, you’re getting weird looks.”

karina inhales sharply, finally calming down.

you sit down on one of the lounge chairs, taking a deep breath.

“i really don’t have anything to explain to you. i’m sorry. and i’m not the one playing with people’s feelings here.”

“what? are you insinuating that i’m the one playing with your feelings?”

“uh, if the shoe fits?”

karina slaps your arm, “are you serious right now? can you just talk to me for once?! is this your first time being friends with someone?” friends? since when were you ever just friends with karina?

“no, it isn’t,” you swallow, “it’s my first time feeling this way for someone.”

“what?”

“do you know how many times i think about you in a day? it’s once, because i never stop. it hurts me every time i see you with someone else and i know i shouldn’t feel this way because while you reside in my mind, i have to hope that I cross yours once in a while to feel less pathetic of myself. do you know how that feels? to want to exist in someone’s thoughts. i feel happy just to know that you’re even acknowledging my presence. but you didn’t. you didn’t even care when i was there, so you shouldn’t care when i’m not,” the weight of unshed tears came pouring out. you let out a watery but hollow laugh. karina makes your heart ache, she makes you feel defeated and useless, she makes you feel angry and jealous.

“you make me feel that life is worth living for. that i went through all those torturous years just to meet you.”

karina, is life in itself.

“and i don’t think i’ll ever be able to find someone else that makes me feel this way. have you ever felt that way about someone?”

she stares at you, unblinking. she comes to terms with your words finally.

“i’m sorry,” she says.

“it’s fine,” you sniffle, wiping your tears.

“i’m sorry i hurt you.”

“of course you’ll hurt me. of course we’ll hurt each other, because this is the condition of living. and what’s not love, if not living for each other?”

“i didn’t know you felt that way about me.”

you sigh, “regret is a stupid thing. when you reject me, i would be better off knowing that we wouldn’t work out because you don’t like me, rather than me not telling you and wondering if we would ever work out. and you’re with that guy anyway.”

“who told you i would reject you? and who said i was with him?”

“oh.”

“i feel everything that you’ve just said, about you. and i’m upset that you were planning to just throw me away like that because of our inability to communicate.”

you laugh, more heartily this time, “i just didn’t want to be one of your conquests or whatever.”

“you’re more than one of my conquests. i wouldn’t dream of even letting you go. some people search their whole lives to find what i found in you. you can be assured that i won’t ever let you go.”

her sincere words draw red to your cheeks, warmth spreads from your neck to the tip of your ears. “you still like me,” you repeat, “even when i’m a jealous freak, have commitment issues and i care too much?”

“even with all those traits. if you didn’t care, you wouldn’t be the yn i like,” karina’s voice softens as does her touch. she takes your hand in hers, caressing the back of your hand with her palm.

“even if i don’t understand why you get angry and why you ignore me, i still like you. that’s what makes you, you. and love is all about understanding.”

you nod. all the crying has made you feel drowsy, and your fatigue is apparent, since karina smiles in amusement and says, “wash up and take a nap. i’ll be here.”

she’ll be here.

“thank you, jimin.”

karina, or rather, jimin, chuckles, “hurry up and shower. i hope you brought extra clothes since i’m going to change too.”

you quickly wash up and so does jimin. the two of you settle into the bed, your hands clutching at jimin for warmth and intimacy. you have her. the thought allows you to drift asleep, finally knowing that jimin’s heart beats the same for yours.

when the sun sets as you wake up from your nap, you can’t help but blurt out, “i adore you.”

jimin, pleasantly surprised, only giggles back.

“i adore you too, in ways words cannot express.”

maybe paris wasn’t the city of love. yours was milan.

🎙️ author’s note: this is probably one of my favourite fics i’ve written. most of my own personal values have been put into this fic. regret is a stupid thing, we only live once and we have no idea if we’ll ever get to live again. find people that makes life worth living for. happy birthday yu jimin, aespa’s stupid cheese cat 🤍

[beausling]

pov: you’re jensen ackles’ controversially young gf (alt!musician!reader) part ii

read part i here, read part iii here

youruser

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youruser guess what’s in my pockets🤭

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gibson_g1rl better not be what i Think it is🤨

youruser nah, it’s actually just used joint filters and train flattened pennies from chicago

archiveofvirtue @/youruser TRAIN FLATTENED PENNIES???😭

youruser @/archiveofvirtue cus they’re cool😸😸🎀

vamps4y/n ONLY INHALE THE BEST

youruser EXHALE THE STRESS !!!!!!!!!!!!

suicideleopard is that the hearse we saw in carrollton?

youruser indeed !!!

suicideleopard @/youruser dude send me all the pictures you got

youruser @/suicideleopard omw bd😜

pearlzier @/youruser BABY DADDY?!!?!!????!!????

youruser @/pearlzier well Yes!!

vamps4y/n @/youruser jensen will be hearing about this📞

jensenackles liked a reply to your comment

jensenackles

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jensenackles Ahhh New York….. 😎🤎

Till next time.

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youruser another day, another slay✨

jensenackles liked your comment

gibson_g1rl the brown heart emoji??? ohhh, y/n cooked here🤭

hrtsy/n was just omw to say this🤭🤭🤭

vamps4y/n i’m gonna ask the question everyone is thinking… @/youruser did y’all link up or not??🤨

youruser only got to see each other in passing yesterday, i’m in florida rn for rockville🙁

pearlzier @/youruser ohhh thats fucked up, #universe let my parents see each other

archiveofvirtue @/pearlzier mama y papa liked😸🤞

jackleswife let me sit on it

gibson_g1rl OH so you’re Gross huh!?

vamps4y/n ermm Aktually🤓☝️ it’s y/n to sit on

y/ngirlies @/vamps4y/n CRYINGG SOO REAL GIRL

youruser

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youruser nobody needs to know . . .

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y/ngirlies okay but when is the album coming out?

youruser eventually…

jasvtsc @/youruser PRAISE THE LORD🙏

yourbffsuser what a time we’ve had✨

youruser it was definitely a time !!!!!

gibson_g1rl need to know where that shirt in pic 8 is from tho

youruser olivia sade fuck baby tee🤞

archiveofvirtue HEY GUY WHY ARENT WE TALKIN AB PIC 4!!!!??

pearlzier are we thinking the same thing🤭🤭

gibson_g1rl okay so we’re all on the same wavelength rn??🤭

deanluvr like thats GOTTA be jensen’s hand ru kidding

hrtsy/n explain yourself love @/youruser

youruser @/hrtsy/n CAPTION !!!!!🙌

jensenackles

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jensenackles Just another night in Paris. Watching body parts explode on a giant screen. No biggie.

Are you guys ready for this?!?!

@/theboystv this Friday!!!

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youruser le brouillard approche…

jensenackles Stop saying ominous things in French…

youruser @/jensenackles quoi que tu dis, joli garçon😸

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vamps4y/n @/youruser there you go again flinging that name around……..

deangirlsride why is #She around every corner🫣

gibson_g1rl girl stfu😭

j2texas fr it’s like a horror movie😟

hrtsy/n @/deangirlsride @/j2texas kay why ess❤️

youruser

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youruser got to live my da vinci code dreams (nuit blanche was so funky fresh!!!)

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hrtsy/n so we’re just not gonna talk abt pic 8??!!!

youruser the food was SO scrumdilly😸

pearlzier @/youruser that is NOT what we mean😭😭

gibson_g1rl Y/N AND JENSEN IN PARIS AT THE SAME TIME LIKE ITS NOT A COINCIDENCE…….

jackleswife if it’s real i might have to kms

archiveofvirtue girl BYE you’re weird😭

jasvtsc @/archiveofvirtue @/jackleswife NO FR like IF IT IS TRUE.. why can’t you just be Happy for him????

vamps4y/n @/jasvtsc mama y papa liking iktr🤭

jacklesfan isn’t she like super young too?

y/ngirlies she’s literally pushing 30 so gtfo with all that😭😭

pearlzier @/y/ngirlies PUSHING 30 IS INSANE😭😭😭😭

y/ngirlies @/pearlzier ITS TRUE THOUGH SHE TURNS 30 IN A FEW YEARS !!!!!!!!

꩜ thank you so much !!! i hope you guys enjoyed reading this😸 all feedback, likes, and reblogs are greatly appreciated 💟

꩜ this one is a bit more silly, a bit more drama.. things are starting to pick up a bit more🤭 (sorry, but i just love a good slow burn)

꩜ tags : @gibson-g1rl @pearlzier @jasvtsc @archiveofvirtue 🎀 lmk if you wanna be tagged and/or featured in the next part !!!!!

[evermoresversion]

hii i want to request a jj imagine. so the reader knows that jj is in love with kie. she sees it the way jj looks at kie, always laughs at her jokes and obv hits on her. and when john b and sarah are an nassau jj tries to hook up with the reader cause he’s rlly sad abt kie and pope yk. but reader rejects him. she tells him that she won’t fuck with him until kie likes him back. even though she rlly liked him. before walking off she says “one day she’s gonna see you the way i see you. just give kie some time to find the right glasses“ (yk everybody says you see the world with pink glasses when you’re in love) reader and jj stay rlly good friends and come closer than ever and poguelandia. poguelandia was the dream of both of them. then instead of kie the reader gets taken to kitty hawk. when jj saves her he finally tells her how she feels and says “kiara found the right glasses too late. i’ve put on other glasses“ the reader is rlly confused until he asks if she till has the same one on. and she is still in love with jj. then kiss scene yk. i hope you liek my idea!

THE RIGHT GLASSES, JJ MAYBANK.

A/N I really let my imagination run wild with this req. I'm very sorry for the delay.

PAIRING JJ Maybank x Fem!Reader

TW/TAGS Angsty at first, fluff at the end, suggestive content.

REQUESTS ARE OPEN | JJ'S MASTERLIST | MASTERLIST

You could tell you had always been in love with JJ.

From the first time you saw him playing in a park in the cut with a rock and he hit himself on the head with it.

Yeah, you were completely in love with him.

But you weren't blind, you had always noticed the way he saw Kiara and laughed at her jokes or protected her.

Sometimes you wished you were her.

"Hey what's up?" John B asked, sitting next to you at the bonfire at the Chateau and you shook your head looking at the liquid left in your glass.

"It's nothing." You denied, trying to make light of it, showing your friend a smile but he didn't believe you because he saw the way you saw JJ. He always noticed it.

"All right, bug." He gave your shoulder a friendly shook and stood up to walk over to Sarah where JJ then took his place.

"Do you want me to take you home now?"

You nodded goodbye to everyone and then found yourself behind on JJ's motorcycle.

When you both arrived he helped you down and there was a tense silence between the two of you.

"Well, I'll see you later." You said goodbye and walked towards the entrance of the house.

"Yeah, bye." He uttered awkwardly and got back on his motorcycle, leaving.

The next few months passed quietly without any drama except for the gold. In addition to the disappearance of Sarah and John B.

During that period of time Pope started some kind of situationship with Kiara and JJ was clearly affected.

While they were doing their thing, JJ tried to get closer to you to find some kind of distraction until one night he even tried to kiss you.

"No." You sighed, turning your face away from his, prompting him to sigh in frustration.

Despite all this time, you still liked JJ but you weren't going to let him use you while Kiara decided whether to be with him or not.

"I'm not going to fuck you or whatever just to be your distraction. No, I'm not going to do that." You shook your head with a wry smile, staring at your feet and playing with your hands.

"Forgive me."

You looked into his blue eyes that shone under the moonlight and saw adoration reflected in his eyes but not love towards you.

"I don't have anything to forgive you for."

You stood up from the log where you were both sitting and dusted off your clothes. Before leaving you looked at him.

"Someday she's gonna see you the way I see you." You shrugged your shoulders. "Just give Kie some time to find the right glasses."

After that you both didn't mention anything about it again but little by little both became even closer.

You were even the one who saved him when he almost drowned.

In Pogueland there was not a second that you both did not pass by with each other. You fished together, gathered whatever food you could together, everything.

"This is like a dream come true" you uttered as you were both staring at the stars lying on the ground. "Except I miss showers."

You both laughed and you felt his hand reach for yours.

"Yes, it's a dream come true."

You turned your face to look at him and found that he was already looking at you, making you smile.

The days passed and passed and neither of you worried about whether or not you were going to leave that island.

Until they finally got you out of there and it was no secret to anyone that you and JJ didn't want to leave, but you had to.

"I just got back, and you're trying to send me away again?" you said in disbelief, looking at your parents who had informed you that they were sending you to boarding school.

"Sweetheart, it's for your own good, you can't keep doing this kind of thing." Your father started.

"Those friends of yours are a bad influence."

You laughed, in disbelief, and when you tried to leave your mother interrupted you.

"You're going to do what we say, we're your parents."

"Yeah, whatever."

Of course the first place you went was to JJ's now empty house since Luke had gone to where JJ had always wanted to escape.

"No, they can't send you away."

You sighed, pacing the porch of the house.

"I don't want to get away from y'all."

JJ stood up from where he was standing and gently grabbed your face.

"It's not going to happen, as long as I'm here I'm going to stop them from taking you."

You hugged him tightly and felt his strong arms wrap around you as well.

Weeks passed and there was no sign that your parents were still pursuing the idea of taking you to Kitty Hawk, as the boarding school was called, but you still remained cautious.

The guys already had a plan to go to Orinoco to look for El Dorado and escape to South America. After a meeting at the dock, everyone spread out to go pack their things.

"Hey, y/n."

You stopped and looked at him with a kind smile.

You could feel Kiara's gaze on both of you but neither of you paid much attention to her.

"I needed to tell you something but I'd better tell you on the plane."

You nodded and left a kiss on his cheek and then went home.

Big mistake.

There was a van outside your house with the Kitty Hawk logo on it. You immediately felt your heart race at the thought that they were there to take you.

But before you could even think about running away, your parents had already seen you.

You tried to run away but when you turned around you collided with someone.

"Don't worry, we don't want to hurt you."

"No, mom!"

Your parents approached where you were and your mother looked at you.

"It's for your own good."

"Stop saying that! This is not for my good!" You exclaimed, trying to get out of the man's grip but they were already taking you to the truck.

"Sorry."

You heard her say to the distance with a broken voice and all you knew afterwards was that they were already taking you away from there.

Back with the boys, JJ was starting to get desperate because everyone was there except you.

"Where is she?"

John B looked at JJ, knowing that he would surely know.

"Her parents threatened to take her to boarding school weeks ago."

JJ without thinking twice turned to John B.

"Give me Twinkie's keys, I'll go get her."

"JJ, no."

"Dude, his parents already hate me."

John B hesitated but sighed relenting and offered him the keys.

"Thanks JB, give me an hour." JJ mentioned, running over to where Twinkie was, climbing through the window.

"One hour JJ!" Sarah exclaimed.

When the blonde arrived the only thing he found was your mother being hugged by your father, and then he guessed what was happening.

When he arrived, your father took it upon himself to tell him to leave.

"She's not here."

"Where is she?" JJ was starting to get desperate.

"We sent her to a place to recover what you guys destroyed."

"You sent her to that boarding school, didn't you?"

He didn't need a response to know, he just got back into the Twinkie and left.

On the way, JJ demired a plan to get you out of there.

When he arrived, he talked to the director of the place and somehow let you know that he was there.

At night you couldn't close your eyes until you heard a male voice murmuring.

“Have you seen a girl with...?”

“JJ?”

His gaze immediately shot at you, causing your breathing to get stuck in your lungs and your heart beating with speed when you saw him there.

“Pretty girl.”

You immediately ran to his arms and he greeted you with a hug so strong that he made the air leave your body but you didn't care, much less when you felt his nose sunk in your neck.

You separated from him when all the other girls started cheering, reminding you where you were.

“Shut up!”

JJ murmured screaming being pulled by the arm for you.

When both managed to leave the place safe and sound, you finally stopped to process what had happened.

“You came for me.”

You murmured, looking at him with attention and vulnerability reflected in your gaze.

He just took you by the cheeks, giving them soft caresses.

“I wasn't going to leave without you.”

You put your hand on his and leaned slightly towards him, seeing if that was also what he wanted.

And you knew it when his nose grazed yours.

“I think Kiara has some feelings for you.”

Despite your words, you didn't separate an inch from him.

“She found the right glasses too late, I've put on others. I just hope that person also continues to have those glasses on.”

He looked at you in a way that made you understand that you were the one who was talking about and indirectly asked if you were still in love with him.

And just to confirm it, you finally joined your lips to his, kissing him with everything you had kept all that time.

disclaimer ── evermoresversion © 2024.

[jester-lover]

Could you do a Diasomnia dorm with their soulmates? Like the guys meeting soulmate for the first time, mc preferably being a human for that extra drama in case you’d want to add that?💙

Soulmate Sorrows

Oh you know I love the drama. Thank you for requesting, I hope my favoritism towards Sebek doesn’t show as much.

Feat/ Diasomnia

CWs/gn! Reader, angst-to-fluff, mentions of mortality, war and discrimination, brief kidnapping/isolation, bittersweet fluff (various soulmate aus), uhh, Sebek insults you pretty heavy

I took the creative liberty of making Lilia and Silver’s more humorous to tone down the angst of Sebek and Mal. (Also, I hope someone notices the flower language in the Sebek HCs.)

Malleus

When Malleus saw the red string on his finger connected to yours, he was filled with a sense of pure and simple happiness

As he holds you in his warm embrace, some realization hits him like a brick

As a human, you would live for a minuscule amount of time compared to him; he would see you grow gray and weak and pass on as he held onto your memory for eons to come

Or, even worse, a simple accident could take you away from him in the blink of an eye

Some sort of dragon instinct fills Malleus for a while, always suggesting to spend time with you away from others who may hurt you

He tries to keep you safe by hiding you from others, but humans like you are social creatures, and even the most introverted of us need some communication every once in awhile

He slowly realized he would be making you miserable by hiding you away and eventually stopped his behavior, apologizing to you meekly

During this process, Malleus breaks.

He cries into your arms, apologizing for his actions and revealing his fears and worries

As you comfort him, you tell him that you’ll be happy to be his for whatever time you have, and he decides from that point onward to keep you happy no matter what

He’s a very tender, affectionate lover

You can expect to sleep in his big bed, with the warm prince wrapped around you, and to hold his hand in between classes

Malleus seemingly forgets any social norms from his home when it comes down to you; he will literally fight tooth and nail with his advisers to keep you as his spouse when the time comes

Mortality rarely comes up in your discussions after a certain point, as he focuses on keeping you happy and safe

“My dearest, long after you’ve passed, I will still only have you in my heart... you’ve taken up all the space.”

Lilia

He’s as playful as ever when he sees the matching tattoo on your arm; his own is practically centuries old, and while he was content with being alone, he's so happy to see you!

Lilia might play his feelings off as being plainly giddy, but deep down he does worry a bit about how the two most important people in his life will most definitely outlive him

Now that he has a partner, a strange form of protectiveness surrounds him, like he’s found another purpose, a reason to grow stronger 

(A reason to cook more!)

 Moving on from that more serious topic, Lilia will be most excited to spend time just lounging about with you, strumming little melodies on his guitar, taking you on upside-down walks, cliche couple stuff, y’know?

(Just wait till he starts spilling historical tea)

To wind down and enjoy the little moments with the family he’s built, however long it lasts, is a major priority in his life

“I need someone to try out my new recipe~, all the ingredients are actually edible this time around!”

Silver

y'all are chill lmao

Okok, but when he sees you start showing up in his dreams, he’s a little freaked out, partially because you’re very attractive to him but mostly because he has zero clue how to navigate romance

Imagine going on a date with him, and he’s down for the count in the first 10 minutes

Thankfully, I assume you are aware of his sleep habit, and he’s always very grateful when you wake him up 

Despite his stern exterior, Silver has a tendency to show his deep affection for you through acts of service, such as helping you clean Ramshackle House, because God knows how much it needs help (thanks, Crow Man).

Another little quirk about him is his tendency to go along with any cute couple activity you want to do

Wanna wear matching outfits? Cool with him.

Walk him to his classes? Absolutely.

Be the loudest spectator at his equestrian club meets? He appreciates the enthusiasm.

Even if you consider yourself to be a volatile or argumentative person, it’s very hard for Silver to get mad at you because of the genuine adoration and respect he holds for you

He can’t wait to grow older alongside you, to see you at your best, your worst, and your most human moments, until the two of you are old and wrinkly

“I saw something I thought you’d like at the store while I was running errands… maybe we could make dinner together…?”

Sebek

NO.

this is Sebek's worst nightmare come true; the words written on his wrist were the first you ever spoke to him, you, you disgusting, vile, no good human...

He runs far away, back into his room, and under his covers

He refuses to speak to you, refuses to look at you, and refuses to do anything involving you

For a couple of days, he just sulks, which is super heartbreaking for you, considering the fact that you can't control who you are, and your only soulmate just harshly rejected you

Sebek cries a lot. Like, a lot. at one point or another, his mother calls him to verbally smack some sense into him (and most likely Lilia too)

You see him standing at the door of Ramshackle House, breathing heavily as Grim offers to flambé him for you

You decide to hear him out, and he practically spills his years of self-loathing and hurt on your lap

Some part of you hurts for your soulmate, and you hold him in your arms

This relationship starts out turbulent, to say the least, but there’s a mental click that happens for him at one point, where he just realizes how if his own mother found joy with a human, he can too

Sebek tries his best to earn your trust, trying to break down the emotional layers his own internal bigotry has put between you

(it’s also very cute when he shows up with a bouquet of daffodils, as per Lilia’s recommendation) 

You two definitely have a long road ahead of you, but Sebek’s affection is loud and unwavering, and while he might be stubborn in his nature, he knows when to cool it down now

For your sake and for the lifelong relationship he wants with you

“Human! I have a few hours to spare before training, would you like to read with me?”

OMG I actually posted??? I'm crawling through requests as fast as I can ya'll, school has been destroying my creativity for the last few weeks.

[seriesxwriting]

Christmas setup

w Damon Salvatore

Warnings- kissing, alcohol.

Series- The vampire diaries

Summary- all your friends see that you and Damon have been flirting nonstop. If you two won’t make a move, it’s up to them to come up with a plan.

- sorry I know every year I’m late with my Christmas story! This years no different😭.

Every Christmas, me and my friends rent out a big house some place peaceful. So we can relax, drink until our hearts content and be away from all the drama of mystic falls. This had been a tradition for years now, this Christmas would be our sixth one. Me, Elena, Stefan, Bonnie, Enzo, Caroline and jeremy. Oh and Damon. They say you leave the best till last. Damon Salvatore. A man I’d been friends with for a long while, and a man I now felt myself falling for.

“Y/n stop day dreaming” Caroline snapped nudging me. “Are you playing the game?” Bonnie asked me tilting her head. Everyone was sat on the floor with whatever board game they chosen. Everyone apart from Damon who was off collecting wood or something. “Um- actually I’m okay, I still need to wrap a few things before tomorrow so I’m going to do that” I nodded jumping up with my hot chocolate and leaving the room.

We’d been here for three days and the games were starting to get a little tedious. “Perfect I’m glad she’s gone” Caroline whispered grabbing her bag. “What? That’s a little harsh did something happen?” Jeremy jerked his head back in confusion. “No- no nothing like that- it’s just me Bonnie and Elena have come up with a plan and we need everyone in on it” she smiled smashing a piece of paper onto the floor.

“Plan gyadt?” Enzo read out raising an eyebrow “yeah it stands for get y/n and Damon together” Elena read out looking around the room at the faces. “Oh so everyone’s caught onto the flirting that’s been going on for months?” Stefan giggled looking at the plan again. Everyone nodded around the game making people laugh. “Great, so this is the plan” Caroline clicked her knuckled. “We get them in the mood” Elena winked.

Step one:

Knock knock

“Who is it?” I called out, “stefan” he called in. I’d already wrapped his presents so I allowed him inside. “Hey how’s it going?” He smiled coming and sitting down with his coffee on the bed I was staying in. “Not bad, only got Enzos and Damon’s to wrap now” I smiled up at him. “Oh really? What did you get Damon” Stefan peered into the bag suspiciously. “Well he’s always going on about this bourbon called brothers bond but he couldn’t find it anywhere- I’ve found it” I smiled taking the old bottle out of the bag.

“Wow y/n- this is a gorgeous present- he’s going to love it” Stefan smiled looking at the bottle. “Then some new glasses to go with it” I shrugged getting up to fetch them and show Stefan. He nodded at them taking them in with detail. “He’s going to be ecstatic”. “Well I’m glad you approve” “of course I do!” Stefan frantically waved his arm out spilling all his drink over my jumper. My eyes widened realising. “Oh- oh my gosh I’m so sorry y/n! Quick go into the bathroom to wash it off” Stefan put the cup on the side and rushed be out of the door.

Outside- 

“Damon! Are you out here?” Elena yelled pulling her coat around herself shivering. A woosh of wind appeared in front of her and Damon smiled. “You look freezing” he laughed with a bunch of wood in his hands. “Mm I don’t know how you’re out here with just a shirt on- I mean I do but…” she trailed off making him laugh again. “Well, why you out in the cold?” He questioned walking back to the house with the wood in his hands. “Well I came to check on you- and bring you this” Elena held out a mug of tea.

“Mm never knew you had a nice bone” he dropped the wood and put his hand out for the drink. Elena stepped towards him and tripped spilling the tea all down his shirt and trousers. “Elena! Are you okay?” He burst out trying to help her up. “I’m so sorry Damon! I- I don’t know what came over me” she shook her head trying to stand up. “You should try and get it off before it stains” she took him by the wrist and led him towards the house.

“Really it’s fine elena stop apologising” Damon told her as he entered the bathroom. I turned around seeing him close the door before noticing i was in here. His eyes trailed down my top and mine his. We both laughed at each other. “I feel like I still win in this situation” Damon said coming over to the sink and me. “Why’s that? We’re in the same boat are we not?”. “Mmm yes we are but I don’t stink of coffee” he laughed trying to get the tea off his grey top.

“Actually you have a point there” I nodded before putting my middle finger up to him Damon’s jaw dropped as if he was offended. I laughed flicking the water at him before running off. “Hey!” Damon gasped running after me giggling. He caught me and with vamp speed held me against the wall. I looked up at his face, my smile was gone and I was just panting staring up at him. Into his blue eyes.

“You got me” I whispered under my breath. “Now what are you doing to do?”. I watched his eyes flick down to my lips for a second. “Forgive and forget” he winked drawing away. My heart sank, I was beginning to think he just wasn’t interested because every time we got close he’d pull away. “Oh- looks like the tea didn’t come out” Elena appeared from behind the corner looking at Damon. She side looked my top too. “Maybe you should just both change- how clumsy” she tutted turning on her heels.

She went to find Stefan in the kitchen. “Did you move the t-shirt to the top of the suitcase?” She whispered. “Mmh, and you got Damon’s grey joggers on top?”. Elena nodded and they both grinned at each other childishly. “I hope they work out Stefan” she put a hand on his chest sighing. “It’s a good plan babe” he kissed the top of her head. “Don’t start please, I’ve seen it all before don’t want to see it again” Damon smirked walking into the kitchen.

I came out my room hearing the chatter and went to follow, I couldn’t be asked to root around for a new outfit so I just picked the top on top of everything. It was a tight blue top that was quite boobie. I’d warn it only once. Damon turned around as I walked in behind him. My eyes rolled down him in his great joggers and I had to try very hard to not allow my chin to fall down. Damon stared at me not saying a word. “Y/n you look nice” Elena smiled at me before evil eyeing Damon.

“That’s your favourite colour isn’t it Damon- favourite shade and everything” Stefan piped up almost making me go red. “Yes it is” Damon nodded still staring. “Brings out your eyes in that” he smiled leaning against one of the chairs. “Thanks hun” I winked taking an apple and exiting the room. “Um- I’m going to go and get that wood I dropped” Damon nodded before heading out.

“So once they are changed? What does that mean?” Enzo wondered raising an eyebrow. “They will want to be all over each other now they’re attracted to each other” Caroline sighed with a smile. “So what’s step two?” Jeremy questioned. Everyone nodded being just as curious as him. “Step two is getting them to admit their feelings so they are fresh in their minds” Elena smiled pointing to the paper.

Step two-

Outside-

“Hey Damon want help carrying that?” Bonnie asked raising an eyebrow coming outside. “Nah don’t worry” he threw it all onto the floor outside the door. “Can I ask you something?” She questioned sitting on the porch swing. “Yeah..” he frowned suspiciously. “It’s about y/n” “y/n? Is she okay?” He went to get up but Bonnie put her hand out. “She’s fine- it’s more about the reaction you had” she smiled turning her head to the side.

“Is something going on?” “No” Damon shook his head seriously. “She’s my best friend Damon- and so are you, I can see when the dynamic changed- and it has”. Damon shut one eye “has she said something?” “Do you want her to say something?” Bonnie giggled nudging Damon. “She’s- gorgeous- but nothing could ever happen” Damon shook his head laying back on the swing. “Why? You’re perfect for each other”.

Damon shook his head again “you’re wrong Bonnie, I like her I do but with everything going on- with all the danger we face everyday- I can’t afford to be in love” he smiled sadly. Bonnie’s eyes widened before her mouth hung open. “Do you really believe that?”, Damon nodded with a slight smile. She could tell it was hurting him. “You deserve to have love Damon- you do- I can’t believe that’s why you won’t make a move” she sat back staring into space.

“If I lost her Bonnie” Damon shook his head closing his eyes. “There is always that risk Damon- in every relationship, in every friendship”. He hummed nodding and shrugging slightly. “Yeah I guess- this is pointless though, I don’t even know if she likes me back” “Damon…” Bonnie started but he stood up “I’m going to take this wood inside to the fire” he hinted that the conversation was over.

In the hallway-

“Oh- y/n I was looking for you” Jeremy smiled catching my arm. “Oh you were?” I asked not thinking anything of it. “Yeah- it’s kinda- random” Jeremy giggled turning around to face me. “I only ask because- when I’ve liked any girl you’d always help me get a game plan together and set us up together” “Awh jer” I smiled sitting on one leg looking up at him curiously. “Is there another girl?” “No” he laughed shaking his head. “I would have told you if there was- no this is about you” he nodded lowering his voice.

“Me? As in-.” “No- no I don’t like you- not like that” he shook his head. I burst out laughing at the thought and Jeremy followed. “Good” I nodded crossing my arms. “It’s about you and Damon” he whispered smirking. “O-oh” “you know what I’m talking about then? The flirting?” Jeremy wiggled his eyebrows. “You mean the one sided flirting” I sighed rubbing my arm. “What?” He shook his head not agreeing with me. “You’re right jer I thought something was going on- but every time I think something’s finally going to happen it never does”.

“I think that means you need to make the first move y/n, because from what I’ve seen it’s not one sided” he rubbed my shoulder to remove my pout. “He’s probably just got some reservations but he’s definitely got feelings for you” he shrugged looking confident. “Hm- I don’t know jer, if he doesn’t want to make a move then maybe for the best nothing should happen” I nodded leaving the conversation sadly.

Jeremy stood there thinking for a second before running to find Bonnie. “She likes him” “he liked her!” Bonnie hissed back at him, their grins widened. “But she thinks he doesn’t like her” “well Damon’s scared of falling in love- thinks it’s too risky” Bonnie chewed her lip. “It’s time for step three, the final step” Bonnie nodded seriously.

“And when they have explained there feeling it will play over in their mind again and again” Caroline explained. “That’s when step three comes in” Bonnie chuckled rubbing her hands together. “Step three? The last step?” Enzo asked being intrigued. “Yes, by this time it will be pretty late, everyone is going to go to sleep early” “on Christmas Eve?” Stefan scoffed shaking his head. Elena hit him gently on his chest. “We’re not actually going to be asleep but give the impression we are”.

“So that they think they are alone?” Jeremy checked after his moment of realisation. “Precisely” Caroline snapped her fingers looking proud of herself. “It will turn Christmas and they will be all sentimental after just pouring out their feelings- this will work”.

Step three-

“Wow that fire looks amazing Damon” I smiled coming into the living room. Elena and Stefan were laying down together giggling about something. And Caroline was watching whatever was on tv. “Thanks- what are they?” He nodded to the rest of the presents in my hands. “The rest of the present I hadn’t wrapped, this one’s yours” I winked putting it under the tree. “You always give good gifts y/n I have high expectations” he patted the side of the sofa now my hands were empty.

“Not too high I hope” I sighed softly as I sat down. “Stefan I’m getting tired- shall we go to bed?” Elena said quite loudly as if she wanted everyone to hear her. “Of course my darling” he kissed her hand and the both got up hand in hand. “I might follow actually- goodnight” Caroline smiled at me and Damon who were sat left confused. “It’s eleven o clock on Christmas Eve?” He frowned shaking his head.

“Yeah that was beyond weird” I pulled a disturbed face. “You’re not tired are you?” He turned to me with a smile. “Mmh Mmh no way” I shook my head. “Let’s get some drinks then” Damon nodded to the kitchen. “bourbon?” He raised an eyebrow. “Sure Damon” I laughed following him in. “If only we had some brothers bond bourbon then we’d really be having a party” Damon sighed. “What’s your obsession with that?” “Its old- it’s the first bourbon I ever tried- I was hooked but, I’ve never been able to find it again- it must have been very smally distributed” he explained to me.

“I’m sure one day you’ll be able to try it again Damon” I promoted leaning over the counter as he poured out our drinks. “Hopefully” he shrugged smiling at me. He didn’t look away though. Once he was caught on he kept staring. “Damon- you’re going to spill it” I nodded to the drink, he’d poured way too much in. “Oh” he shook his head coming back to reality and pulling the bottle away. “It’s alright nothing I can’t handle” he wiggled his eyebrows.

“Oh I know” I turned my head to the side as he passed me my drink. “You know- I’m glad your here y/n- if I had to choose anyone I wanted to stay awake with it would have been you” he told me coming over to my side. “Well, I have the same opinion Damon” I stood up straight and he edged forward tilting his head down. “I had some good advice today, I didn’t think it was but after I’d had a thought about it…” “oh yeah? What was that advice?” I questioned swallowing nervously.

“There’s always risk in any relationship, even a friendship- us being friends that’s risky” he started, his eye contact never stopped. My stomach was twisting in every way possible. “So us being more than friends can’t be anymore risky that it already is” he breathed. I didn’t know what to say, but I knew what I wanted to do. Damon must have had the same idea because he leant towards my lips. Out of nowhere the clocked dinged indicating it was officially Christmas.

Mine and Damon’s heads swung towards the clock jumping out of our skins as we were so focused on the moment. I turned back smiling at him. “Merry Christmas handsome” I whispered putting my hand on his neck and guiding him towards my face. Damon smiled before meeting my lips and FINALLY. Finally I was kissing the man I’d dreamed of kissing for months. It was better than I’d imagined, he’d obviously had years of experience but he was a great kisser.

He pulled me closer to him by my hips kissing me passionately back, as if he didn’t want the moment to end. As if he’d wanted to do it for months. When we finally pulled away he kept me close and shined a bright grin looking into my eyes. “Merry Christmas gorgeous”. I giggled childishly into his chest and Damon pulled me into a bear hug. We heard whispering coming from the corridor before a bombarding entrance of the whole group whooping and clapping.

“Good plan girls” Stefan chuckled coming in with Elena on his hip. “Plan?” I frowned still in Damon’s arms. “Mmh, the whole of today was a set up to get you two to admit you liked each other and make a move” Caroline giggled behind her hair. My mouth dropped and I looked up to Damon. “I- can’t even be mad” he rolled his eyes laughing. “God” I put my face in my hand. “I suppose I should be thanking you” I sighed looking back up. “You’re welcome! We’re all so happy for you” Bonnie winked at us curled up in each others arms.

“Now, shall we get a few bottles open it’s Christmas!” Elena threw her arms out but Damon just laughed shaking his head. “No no no, You all wanted to go to bed, I think me and y/n want to do the same now” he smirked, my heart jumped out of my chest but I wasn’t complaining. I looked up at him with wide excitement in my eyes. “Ew!” Stefan laughed covering his ears. “Come on princess grab your stuff you know what rooms mine” Damon winked as he began walking out the room backwards.

I was in for one hell of a Christmas.

Damon mastlist-

Tvd masterlist-

All series masterlist-

Masterlist of masterlists-

[ihopeiexplode]

📱 “Two Fools Inlove” [←Previous | Next→]

—

"you know you didn't have to bring anything right?"

"yeah I know, just felt like bringing something"

"what's in it?"

"food what else dumbass?"

"coming from you probably someones head"

"wow very funny."

As he gave you the bag you were greeted with some desserts, homemade ones to be exact

"I thought you were bad at cooking?"

"Ive gotten better"

"sure you have..."

—

—

"SUKUNA LOOK LOOK"

"What am I looking at?"

"isn't the statute pretty??"

"I guess? All I see is some naked woman"

"you clearly don't understand art..."

"how do I not understand art when I literally paint, do poetry and calligraphy"

"you expect me to believe that?"

"yes"

"wait your serious?"

"did you think im not?"

"I find that hard to believe..."

"what hobbies did you think I had??"

"dunno tormenting people maybe? You seem like the type"

—

—

"I don't know how to bowl"

"how? It's literally so easy just throw the ball and there"

With that he'd toss bowling the ball to you as if it was nothing??

The moment he tossed it you immediately moved to the side

"WHAT THE FUCK??"

"your being dramatic it isn't that heavy"

"YES IT IS?? I COULD'VE BROKEN A BONE"

"I'd break it myself if you keep acting like a drama queen"

You'd roll your eyes before picking up the ball from the ground and throwing it into the bowling lane, as you did,, however you didn't even manage to hit a single bowling pin..and when Sukuna saw it he immediately laughed at your failed attempt

He'd pick up another ball and hand it to you as he stood behind you

"you're doing it wrong, here"

With that he'd manhandle your body into a proper stance, once he was finished he backed up and told you to throw

And when you did you managed to hit all of the Bowling pins as you did so you immediately jumped and giggled

Sukuna was about to find it adorable but you just HAD to act cocky. When you did he immediately flicked your head

"you wouldn't have done it without me, don't act to confident"

"can't a girl dream?"

"yeah but you can't"

"wow okay.."

—

—

"Sukuna what are you doing here?"

"Yuji asked me to come along to watch him skygazing"

"I'm surprised you agreed"

"didn't had a Choice"

"how come?"

"our mom told me I can't leave him alone, which is ridiculous he's perfectly fine by himself"

"speaking of wheres Yuji?"

"he ran into Megumi so he's having some quality time with his 'bestfriend', anyway why are you here?"

"just felt like it"

"what's so good about skygazing your just looking at stars what's so good about it"

"do you always have to be bitter?"

"always"

—

Both you and Sukuna would be sitting on the blanket you laid out on the floor as you two sat close to one another while looking at the stars, till you spoke

"you know Sukuna, I've been thinking"

"didn't know you had a brain"

"nevermind."

"I'm kidding, continue"

"I guess you aren't really that bad, you fare un to hang out with, surprisingly...I thought I wouldn't have that much fun spending this much time with you but guess I was wrong"

"so what were friends now?"

"dunno, if you want I guess"

He wants to say something so badly. But he knows once he does his feelings would spill out. And he doesn't wanna do that right when you both are finally on good terms.

—

—

Sukuna and uraume would be talking to one another as they sat down on a nearby chair

"how's things with y/n?"

"I guess it's okay, I went skygazing with her yesterday and she sorta confessed how I'm not that bad,"

"looks like you have a chance"

"chance for?"

"a chance to get with her? What else? It's obvious you like her"

"don't be ridiculous. Why would I like her?

"why would I like someone like y/n, the only reason I'm doing this is for the project nothing else, it's not like I care, let alone have feelings towards her"

"if anything when she told me her little confession I was on the verge of laughing, she really is pathetic isn't she? As if I'd be her friend"

"After this is over I'll just stop talking to her, simple,"

He's wondering why he's saying all of this? He knows he likes you but he won't admit that. He won't admit he's been chasing after you for years. He won't admit how he liked you despite how you felt about him. Sukuna isn't some pathetic loser he won't beg. He won't act desperate

After Sukuna finished talking he'd noticed how quiet they became, before he could ask what was wrong he heard a sound behind him, and when he turned around he saw you...

You stood behind him as you just stared at him wide eyed with your fist clenched, you were a fool to think a person like Sukuna would change, why would he ever change? It's still the same Sukuna deep down no matter what he does.

"how much did you hear?"

"all of it."

—

[⛩️] @: Likes & Reblogs R appreciated! ^^

A/N: be honest does this sound like Sukuna atp...he's so out of character I'm about to jump off a cliff

Taglist: @catobsessedlady @hellomeow12 @0-candlecove-0 @shivzypuff @swirlingcurses @1-800-choke-that-ho @attackonnat @chilichopsticks @getoxmahito @memenojutsu @uhnanix @ichorstainedskin @needtoloveoutloud @love-me-satoru @s-j320 @allthestarsarecloserrrrrrr @goj0sunglasses @svtvrnal @haitanibros0007 @punkhazardlaw @mslydiaa @jayathelostdragon @caileysdead @rixyaaaa @minzxec @rzcnlb

[totothewolff]

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Season of Love

[🗯+18][👩‍❤️‍👨Toto x reader(fem team principal)][💘Romance][🥵Smut][😂Comedy][😪Drama][🏎F1 World/Races/Teams/Paddock][✍️WIP]

Summary: One night on a pier in Monaco, while admiring the sea under the night skies, you tell Toto: "I came to the conclusion that love is simply not meant for me." That's the answer to a question you have been asking yourself for the longest time. But what if he proved you wrong? Author's note: This is a multichapter Toto Wolff x team principal reader fic set along a season of F1. It's a very immersive story full of drivers, team dynamics, races, mystery, and smut. You just bought the Williams team, but nobody really knows who you truly are. 📁 Masterlist: └📁 Dances with Wolff Arc └📁 1 Engines on and hearts off! └📁 2 Lights out, and away your feelings go! └📁 3 Can you feel the traction? └📁 4 No brakes, just love! └📁 5 Cold tires, warm heart └📁 6 Collision at Turn "Your Heart" └📁 The Color of Truth is Blue Arc └📁 7 Red flagsss └📁 8 Safety car needed └📁 The Sebaffäre Arc └📁 9 Coming soon... └📁 10 Coming soon... └📁 Love Lies, Miss Normani Arc └📁 11 Coming soon... └📁 Dances with Wolff Arc └📁 12 Coming soon... └📁 13 Coming soon... └📁 14 Coming soon...

Chemtrails Over the Yacht Club Collection

[🗯+18][👩‍❤️‍👨 Toto x reader(fem service staff)][💘 Romance][🥵Smut][🎀 Age-gap][❤️‍🔥Daddy Kink][🛳Yacht Culture][✍️WIP]

Summary: Toto Wolff is a name often mentioned at the Yacht Club, where you work after classes. For some reason, you have always pictured him as an old crank like the usual members, not this foxy man who arrives at the reception making your knees quiver.  The entire staff goes frenetic as he, one of the Club's most important clients, chooses to spend his spring break there without previous notice. You pray to the Gods that you don't cross lines with him since your entire livehood depends on this job, and you really want to graduate college. 📁 Collection: └📁 1 Dark But Just A Game └📁 2 Breaking Up Slowly └📁 3 Not All Who Wander Are Lost └📁 4 Dance Till We Die └📁 5 White Dress └📁 6 Let Me Love You Like a Woman

Grand Prix Elite Academy

[🗯+18][👩‍❤️‍👨 Toto(professor) x reader(student, future F1 driver)][👨‍❤️‍👨Lewis x Seb][💘Romance][🥵Smut][🎀Age-gap][❤️‍🔥Wild parties][🏫College AU][🌈Queer/Fem Seb][✍️WIP]

Summary: Your life turns 180 degrees after receiving your acceptance letter for the Grand Prix Elite Academy, the most exclusive and prestigious Formula One College, designed to shape the future drivers of the motorsport world. You will try to navigate your new life among the Monaco elites, survive the campus dynamics and rivalries between the faculties, and try to win this year's Elite Cup to beat an undefeated Mercedes, all while befriending your eclectic classmates, join the wild parties, have a couple of make-outs under the racing circuit benches, lose your v-card and get over that stupid crush you have on professor Toto. Will you make it alive to graduation? Race to Greatness! Author's note: This is a Formula One college AU fic set in an elite academy in Monaco, where the F1 Teams are Faculties, their Team Principals are professors, the FIA is the college board, and all the grid drivers are your classmates. You are accepted under a scholarship program called WomenOne and have lots to catch on to after years of putting your racing dreams on hold. Becoming the outcast new girl is always challenging, especially when all of you live on one campus. 📁 Masterlist: └📁 1 Hi, Society! └📁 2 Gone With The Wolff └📁 3 Know Your Frenemies └📁 4 The Kids Are Not Alright └📁 5 The Twat and the Furious └📁 6 Panic Roomate └📁 7 Easy Y/N └📁 8 War of the Rosbergs └📁 9 …Baby? One More Time! └📁 10 She Wolff

[📚One-shots][⏳Long read]

I'll Be Home for Christmas

[🗯+18][👩‍❤️‍👨 Toto x reader][🥵Smut][❤️‍🔥Mild BDSM][👄Dom/Sub][🎄Christmas]

Summary: Toto asks you in between ravenous kisses if you truly want him, even with his busy schedule, fast-paced life, countless nights miles away, and his dominant trait, the one you love to be submissive to, by saying yes you didn't expect it to be this hard! This particular season felt eternal, and you only desire to have him back, wrapped as the world's most alluring Christmas gift on your bed if possible. └📁 One-shot

Sparks Fly

[🗯+18][👩‍❤️‍👨 Toto x reader][🥵Smut][❤️‍🔥Daddy Kink][🎆New Years]

Summary: Toto is ready to leave his shitty 2023 behind and start 2024 in the best way possible, and you don't want to spend another New Year's Eve all by yourself; it's like destiny and the universe conspired to bring you two together. └📁 One-shot

The Lonely Hearts Party

[👩‍❤️‍👨Toto(boss) x reader(fem merc employee)][💘Romance][😊Fluff] [😂Comedy][🗄Corporate Mercedes][💝Valentine's Day]

Summary: For weeks now, you have been receiving the most gorgeous flowers every Wednesday morning at your desk at the Brackley Headquarters, as a mysterious admirer seems so in love with you. The entire factory, your besties at work, and you all wonder who he is. Could it be the one you truly wish for? └📁 One-shot

The Big Slip

[🗯+18][👩‍❤️‍👨Toto x reader (fem middle class artist)][💘Romance][🥵Smut][😪Drama][🕵️‍♂️Secret Identity][💸Social gap][🪐AU]

Summary: Your life as a struggling arts graduate in Monaco, coming from a working-class family who lives on the outskirts, is about to change. Toto Wolff enters your life not only by giving you the best sex ever but also by making you love somebody for the first time. Arranged marriages, a horrible breakup, and an induced coma, plus his terrible parents, were a complete surprise. └📁 One-shot

The Speed Game of Love

[���‍❤️‍👨Toto x reader(fem contestant)][💘Romance][😂Comedy][🪐AU][🤪Crack humor][🌈RuPaul's Drag Race][💫Short read]

Summary: Three fierce queens will race for your love, but only one will win your heart. Could it be the spicy Carla LaTurbo Slayz, the fierce Adore D. Hammer, or the queen of England herself, GiGi Reigns? Or maybe that sexy host could get some! Hosted by the hot and only Toto Wolff. └📁 One-shot

Daddy's Little Pet

[🗯+18][👩‍❤️‍👨 Toto x reader(journalist)][🥵Smut][❤️‍🔥Daddy Kink][🎀Size Kink][👄Power play]

Summary: You had come to Brackley expecting a generic interview, not a deep dive into Toto's lovemaking life. └📁 One-shot

[🚎Coming soon...][✍️WIPs]

Join us at The Wolff Pack Discord Server > https://discord.com/invite/tpgArxqbfd

It’s Murder on the Garagefloor

boss!Toto x reader Merc!employee | crack au (Clue bang), comedy, romance and mystery.

Summary: His wife, one of his drivers, an engineer, his mentor, and you (Toto's assistant) all look at the body on the floor. Is the boss really gone? Loose inside this locked garage is the murderer. Who of you killed Toto Wolff? And why?!

└📁 Coming soon...

A mile-an-hour

Boss!Toto x reader merc!employee | comedy, crack (the office bang), romance, fluff.

Summary: Getting hired on the Mercedes-AMG PETRONAS F1 Team from the thousands of applicants seemed like the pinnacle of your career and a privilege. Such a prestigious and life-changing opportunity until you arrive there… Smoke is flooding the garage, Lewis is dressed exactly like George in casual clothing for some reason, and Niki plays sad Taylor Swift songs on the piano. At the same time, engineers try to catch a loose Roscoe throwing stuff everywhere. Why is even a piano in here?! Oh! And you almost forgot, Toto Wolff is crying inside his office.

└📁 Coming soon...

Fast Car

driver!Toto x driver reader | teammates dynamic, past lovers, young toto, drama, romance.

There was a time when he used to be your everything. Since childhood, you two shared a dream of one day becoming F1 drivers. Miles away from your families, you grew up only having each other, racing and experiencing life side by side. The short step from friends to lovers left natural, but the following step from F1 drivers to becoming enemies deeply scarred you. When your ambitious team offers Toto the open seat, well aware of his reckless and wild reputation, you wonder if the sweet guy you fell in love with is still hiding inside that ruthless, don juan, cold-hearted two-time world champion. It's going to be a hell of a season for you.

Cursed to Love

+18 | Lewis Hamilton x Sebastian Vettel, sewis | fantasy, witchcraft, lore, period, drama, romance, smut, pinning, epic, war, violence.

[gejo333]

Art credit goes to @kit-and-wolfe ! Thank you for fulfilling my wish to see Miguel in a wedding suit!🥹🥰💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

An Unexpected Match XIII

DBF/DILF Miguel O’Hara x female reader

18+ Warning

Pt.1 Pt.14

Summary: The months of preparation for the big day!💐💍🔔

Only three chapters left of “ An Unexpected Match!” (Not including this chapter)

Enjoy🥰

Wc: 15.6k

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When you and Miguel arrived from Miami, your family, friends, and future in-laws met you in the backyard for a surprise engagement party.

You were both happy and shocked that Stephanie and Gabriel could quickly pull something spectacular. Yet again, it was Stephanie and Gabriel. If they wanted something done, they'd get it done. Of course, you weren't surprised that your parents weren't attending. Probably because you didn't tell them that Miguel had proposed to you. Despite all the drama, you still wanted to share the news of your happiness. But you were smart to know they wouldn't be happy. 

Jack had told you that they found out about your news from your Instagram and were not pleased, saying, like a broken record player, that you were too young and that Miguel was too old for you. Of course, you smiled when Stephanie added that Jack defended your relationship with Miguel and said that he cared for your happiness and thought Miguel was a good man for you. 

You chuckled from the memory when Liam approached the four of you, 'Now that you're going to be my future brother-in-law, can I test drive your Aston Martin?' As soon as the words came out of his mouth, you and Jack scolded your childish younger brother. God, you were glad you weren't a sophomore in college anymore. Of course, Miguel, being the gentleman he is, agreed as long as you or he were in the car. And, of course, you didn't help but brag to Liam that you had driven it before, to which his reaction was priceless. 

You sat at a cafe basking in the warmth of the almost-summer sun, scrolling through wedding catalogs.

"Damn, I knew wedding planning was a lot, but I didn't think it was this detailed! Like why is everything individually priced! And way overpriced! I saw this same napkin set for $5 at Target, and this is $30 for two?!" Stephanie stressed as she quickly flipped the pages of her catalog. "God, I wish I snagged a billionaire. But my heart is for your brother." Stephanie dramatically places the back of her hand on her forehead before moving it over her heart. You only rolled your eyes and chuckled at your best friend's childish antics. 

"I still don't 100% understand when you're so amazing, and he's just, well... Jack. But I am happy for both of you. I can't wait till he proposes so we can legally be sisters." You waved the waitress's attention to the check, which they saw and nodded.

"Honestly, I don't think I want to get married now that I have realized how much debt my dream wedding will make me." Stephanie gasped as she saw another overly-priced item. "Do you know your budget?"

"Funny thing is, there is no budget. Miguel won't let me pay for any of it, and there is no limit.  I want to help pay for it too, but he refuses to let me, which is frustrating, to say the least." You sigh as you place your card down on the bill. 

" I love that the only issue you have with your fiancé is that he wants to pay for everything." Stephanie chuckled as she finished her coffee, to which you sent her a light glare. 

" Steph, you know how I am. I don't want to be some dependent trophy wife. I want to contribute to the expenses. But enough about that. I invited you for coffee because I want you to be my maid of honor." You hold her hands as you smile brightly at her.

"I'd be honored to be your main wingwoman at the wedding. You can count on me!" Stephanie squeezed your hands as she returned your smile. "I will also take on the role of wedding planner! Only I know what your dream wedding is, not some overly-priced, stuck-up designer." 

"If you're up for the task, Miguel and I would love the help." After saying your goodbyes, you plan to see each other to start brainstorming themes for the wedding. You head back home, welcomed by your happy six-year-old daughter. 

"Mama, you're back!" Gabi ran up and gave you a bear hug. You smiled lovingly at her as you leaned down to return the hug. The smile on your face disappeared when you noticed a cut on her arm. 

"Baby bug, what happened here? Are you okay?" You check her arm to get a better look at it. It already had a scab, which meant it happened hours ago, most likely at school. 

"I fell during P.E. and scraped my arm when it happened. But I was a big girl, and I didn't cry." Gabi smiled, proud of her statement. You comb some of her fly-away curls behind her ear as you give her another hug, kissing the top of her forehead. "Oh, sweetie, that sounds horrible. It's okay to cry when you get hurt. There is nothing wrong in that."

"I know, but I didn't want to cry in front of the boys because they would make fun of me." Gabi's lips quivered slightly, pouting. 

"Well, if they ever make fun of you for crying, tell them you don't care what they think. And you shouldn't care what others think about you, Gabi. Just be your amazing, sweet self. But hey, if they still are giving you trouble, we'll have Papa scare them off. Cause no one upsets our baby bug." Placing one last kiss on her head, you let her go as she smiles brightly at you before running back to her playroom.

You smile before heading towards the office where your fiancé spends most of his time when he's not with you or Gabi. You notice the door slightly cracked open, signaling he wasn't too busy. As the new CEO of a mega-corporation, you were surprised by how much time he still gets to be with you and Gabi. 

You gently knock on the door to alert your presence before walking in. 

"Cariño? How was coffee with Stephanie?" Miguel called out, still focused on his various computer screens. You walk up behind him as you wrap your arms around his shoulders from behind, resting your head on his shoulder. With one hand, Miguel entangles his fingers with yours and kisses your knuckles near your engagement ring. Half-focused on work. Half-focused on you.

"It was nice. I asked her to be my maid of honor, which she was happy to accept. She is also going to help plan the wedding. Her sense of taste is way better than any wedding planner that I looked at."

"She did do a really good job with the engagement party," Miguel added. 

"She did. I have always trusted her taste in design and decor. Have you talked to Gabe about being your best man?" You chuckled at his slight pout from your last words.

"I just haven't had the patience for his energy lately. And he won't leave me alone when I ask him." Miguel sighed as he leaned his head against yours, and you kissed his cheek sweetly. 

"Well, it's better to rip off the bandaid than leave it. Plus, you know he's been waiting for you to ask. On a different note, can we discuss something more seriously?" 

Your change in tone brought his full attention as he guided you to the front of his chair, both serious and curious brown eyes looking up at you. You smile as you straddle his lap and comb a few stray-away curls from his face. You always loved it when he had his glasses on. 

"Don't worry, honey. It's nothing bad. I just wanted to talk about expenses."

"What about them?" Miguel's hands rested on your hips, gently brushing his fingers against your clothing. 

"I want to be more a part of it. I want to help chip in. Like for our wedding, the house, and Gabi." 

"Like I've said before, Hermosa, save your money. You know I can easily take care of everything."

"I know you can, Miguel, but I want to contribute. Please let me help pay for things. I don't want to be financially dependent on you. I love you and can't wait to be your wife in a few months, but I will not be a trophy wife. So please, for my sake, let me help pitch in." You tried your best to give him a serious gaze without wanting to melt into his strong and warm embrace. 

A small sigh escaped his lips before he smiled. "It's hard to say no to you. Alright. You can help pay for Gabi's soccer things and groceries."

"And half the wedding."

"No."

"A quarter?"

"How about just the cake."

"Cake and flowers?"

"Fine. You have a deal, mi amor, if I can have a kiss." Miguel smirked, pinching your hip.

"Well, you can have a kiss anytime you want and as many times as you want." You smile, leaning in as your lips meet his in a soft and sweet kiss. "Here's another one," you say before placing another kiss on his lips, "and another because I love you." 

The kisses formed into a slightly heated make-out session as sweet kisses were placed on lips, necks, and light squeezes and touches. However, the enjoyable moment paused as you both heard light footsteps descending the hallway. You get off Miguel's lap and ensure you still look presentable. A few seconds later, barged in your daughter wearing a plastic tiara with pink gems and a matching tutu on her soccer uniform. 

"How cute do you look, baby bug. You look like a princess."

"I'm the soccer fairy princess. And I am inviting you and Papa to my royal tea party." Gabi handed you, and Miguel slips of paper with colorful drawings and writing. Of course, knowing your handwriting, you could tell she tried to spell out 'Momma's tea party invitation.'

"We would be honored to attend, Princesa." Miguel smiled as he got up from his chair, stretching to relieve the tension in his muscles from sitting too long. Would you like to be carried to your palace?" 

"Yes, please!" Gabi cheered in excitement before he picked her up with one arm. With his available hand, he entangled his fingers with yours as he led his family to the royal tea party upstairs.

.....

10 months before the wedding

"We're here!" Cheered Gabi from her car seat. You chuckle from her excitement as you exit the driver's side and unbuckle her from the car seat. Of course, as soon as she is out of the car, she runs to the car parked in front with a wild woman standing. 

"Auntie Steph!"

"Hi there, girlie! Are you here to help your Mama out with choosing a dress?" Stephanie smiled as she leaned down to hug Gabi, who happily reciprocated the gesture. 

"Yeah! But I promised her not to tell what the dress looks like even though Papa asked me to." 

"Oh, I see. Is Mr. O'Hara already getting impatient to make you Mrs. O'Hara?" Stephanie chuckled as she grinned at you, to which you replied with a smile and a playful roll of your eyes. 

As you entered, you were met by more of your wedding party, including a few more college friends as your bridesmaids and Conchata, Miguel's mother. You had met her only a few times, the last time at the engagement party. Ever since the beginning of your relationship with Miguel, you knew he wasn't close to his mother. Still, she was a good grandmother to Gabi and really sweet to you. When Miguel introduced you to her, she was overly excited to meet you, saying she was happy her son had found a nice woman. Even though she and Miguel weren't that close, it was nice to know that at least one parent approved of your relationship.  You had invited her to your wedding dress appointment because she always had wanted to be a part of the bridal process but never thought she would be able to since she only has sons. 

"Hola y/n! Que tal mi hija?" Conchata smiled as she hugged you, to which you happily returned. (Hi y/n! How are you, my daughter?)

"Hola Conchata. Bien. Estoy muy emocionado." (Hi Conchata. Good. I am very excited.)

"Me alegro. ¡No puedo esperar a verte probar vestidos! Asegúrate de que ese hijo mío no te deje embarazada antes de la boda. Lo era y odiaba que no pudiera caber en mi vestido."

(I'm glad. I can not wait to see you try dresses! Make sure that a son of mine does not get you pregnant before the wedding. I was, and I hated that I could not fit into my dress.)

"No te preocupes. No habrá noticias de futuros bebés hasta después de que se haya celebrado la boda." (Don't worry. There will be no news of future babies until after the wedding has happened). You chuckle at your future mother-in-law's words. You knew Miguel would say otherwise. 

He would be happy if you had told him you were pregnant today. Thankfully birth control prevented that from happening no matter how many times he tried overpowering the drug by staying inside you for hours after an intense amount of time fucking you. Lately, you have been falling asleep in bed with him deep inside you. 

Of course, your smile faded slightly when you saw your mother sitting next to your bridesmaids. She stood up with an awkward smile as she hugged you. "I'm shocked I was invited, especially since you didn't tell me you were engaged." 

"Well, every daughter wants their mom to be part of their wedding preparations, including dress shopping, despite your behavior." 

"My behavior? I'm telling you that what you are doing is a mistake.

"My son is not a mistake. And neither is this relationship. They are perfect for each other." Argued Conchata.

"Sarah, just be happy for her. Okay?" Steph touched your mother's shoulder, hoping to reason with her. 

"Let's just get on with this," your mother scoffed as she returned to her spot. You took a deep breath to calm your anger. You would try on wedding dresses; this is supposed to be a happy occasion. 

The bridal dress concierge walked towards your group. "Good afternoon, ladies. Now, who might be the bride?" 

"My mama is!" Gabi happily hugged you, and you chuckled as you looked down at her with a loving smile and gently caressed her head. 

"I am." 

"Lovely! Follow me right this way, Ms. L/n." The woman said warmly before walking into the bridal boutique with you, Gabi, and everyone else following behind. 

"Everyone can sit here while I take our lovely bride to the fitting room. The dresses you chose online are already in there for you. Please follow me." 

Before you leave, you turn to face Gabi, "I'll be in the dressing room, baby bug. Come in if you need me. Aunt Steph and Abuela will look after you." You kiss the top of her head before following the woman to the fitting room.

You had goosebumps on your skin, as you couldn't contain your excitement when you saw the dresses hanging up in the dressing room. 

Of course, no one told you how hard it was to get into a wedding dress. You only thought jean shopping was a nightmare. You sighed in contentment after finally getting the first dress on. This was going to be a workout. You look at the dress in the mirror, smiling as if you were happy with how it looked on you. But you knew it wasn't The dress. 

"Are you ready to show everyone?" said the concierge lady, her eyes meeting yours with a smile in the mirror. You nodded happily as you walked out of the fitting room and into the private sitting area. 

Your smile faded for the second time today when you noticed one person missing. Your face said it all as Stephanie answered your question before you even asked.

"She left. We tried to convince her to stay. But she wouldn't listen." Her words made your heart snap in two. You never would have thought you wouldn't be close to your parents anymore. That when your big day arrived, they wouldn't be there every step of the way. Guess you really saw their true selves. You tried your best to keep a smile as you stepped on the small stage to see the dress. 

"I think you look beautiful in this dress." One of your bridesmaid's friends said.

"You'll look gorgeous, mama!"

"Sexy as always, but I can tell this isn't your dress." Added Stephanie with a small smile. You knew she could see right through your barely believable act. 

"Yeah, I agree. I think I'll go try on the next dress." You say before heading back to the dressing room. Once you were back in the dressing room, out of the dress and in the provided robe, you collapsed onto the cushioned seat in tears. 

"Oh, honey, I'm sorry that happened to you. Is there anything we can do?" The sales clerk passed you a box of tissues, and you gladly accepted, not wanting to ruin your makeup. 

"Thank you."

"I'll be right back to get you water." The woman left as you continued to sit there to calm down your tears. 

You didn't realize how long you were in the dressing room until you heard Gabi's voice from the sitting room before hearing familiar large footsteps approaching you. A light knock was heard, followed by one of your many loving nicknames as Miguel walked in, the concern becoming more apparent when he saw your distressed state. 

"Miguel? What are you doing here?" You try to wipe away your tears and hide them, not wanting to have him worry about you.

"My mother called me, saying Sarah walked out, and you were heartbroken." Miguel kneeled before you as he brushed your hair away from your face. When he noticed your tear-stained cheeks, his blood began to boil. How dare that woman make you cry? It broke his heart to see you upset. 

He stood up and sat down beside you before grabbing you and making you straddle his lap. He placed butterfly kisses on your face and neck, something Miguel always knew would make you smile.

When he saw your beautiful smile reappearing, he placed one last kiss on your lips before he stopped to meet your beautiful gaze.

"Need any more of my love to wipe away those tears, cariño?" Miguel lightly chuckled as he used his finger to wipe away your last tears. You smiled as you gently shook your head before leaning in to kiss his lips. 

"Hey, you know the place where you wanted to have the wedding?" Miguel brushed your hair behind your shoulders, trying to hide a large smile on his face.

"Yeah. It would have been so amazing to get married there in Portugal. But I can't wait three years to marry you." You caress his face, trying to memorize all the lovely details.

"Well, I was going to tell you later tonight, but it's better now. I got that venue for our date."

Your breath caught in your throat as new tears appeared. Happy tears threaten to spill. "Oh, Miggy. I thought it was impossible to get it." 

"I might have pulled a few strings." He chuckled at your cute reaction as he wiped away your tears. 

You peppered his face with kisses before placing one on his lips. "Thank you for being so sweet. For loving me. Sometimes, I don't deserve to have someone as amazing as you."

"You have it all wrong, Hermosa. It's me who doesn't deserve a goddess like you. You have changed my world. You made me see all the good things. You made me feel loved for who I am and not what I am. I love you."

"I love you too." 

You stayed in each other's arms for a few more minutes before you heard the rumble of his voice. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm much better. Thank you." Your eyes widen when you realize the time of day. "Miguel, did you come here from work? Oh my god, I'm so sorry that I disturbed your day. You probably have way more important things to deal with than coming across the city to console me." You get off his lap, a blush coming across your cheeks when you realize underneath your robe were only your panties. 

"Mi Amor, I would drop any of my work stuff to be with you. Family is always number one to me. And why did you leave my lap." Miguel pouted as he tried to bring you back. 

"Miguel, I know what you're trying to do. Not happening here. Not in public." You chuckled as you got out of his grasping radius. He stood up from the chair as he walked over towards you. You walked backward until your back hit the wall. He tilted your head as he leaned down to whisper into your ear. 

"It never stopped us before. And you look so good in only a silk robe."  Miguel's hand went inside your robe, lowering towards your sensitive lips.

Your arms wrapped around his neck as you felt two of his fingers slide past your underwear and enter your now aching hole. 

But of course, as soon as it began, it ended as you both heard your daughter running out of Stephanie's grasp and towards your dressing room. 

Miguel sighed as he rested his forehead against yours, removing his fingers from you and licking them to remove any trace of you from his fingers before kissing your lips. 

"She's been doing that a lot lately." Miguel huffed.

"It's alright. She's only six and wants to be with us whenever she can. We only get so many years of that." You caress his cheek, placing one last kiss on his lips before leaving your sandwiched spot between the wall and your fiancé, knowing he probably wouldn't be able to control himself if you didn't. 

" I know mi amor. I just love having my alone time with you." Miguel hugged you from behind as he kissed your neck, breathing in your scent. 

"And I love it too. But if we don't separate now, our baby daughter will need therapy." You chuckled as you left his hold, rewrapping your robe to better cover yourself. 

Within seconds, Gabi opens the curtain, followed by Stephanie, who gives you and Miguel an apologetic look. "This girl is fast." 

"¿Qué está pasando, princesa?" (What's going on, Princess?) Miguel chuckled as he picked her up.

"Abuela asked me to check on you and Mama to ensure you weren't playing around. What does she mean?" Gabi smiled as she began to play with her dad's curly hair. You went on Miguel's other side; he instinctively wrapped his free arm around your hips. You gently bumped her nose, making her giggle as you said, "Nothing happened, baby bug."

"But why were you two in here for so long?"

"I was consoling Mama because she was sad. And don't listen to what your Abuela said. She should have thought about her words first before saying that." 

The three of you left the dressing room and into the private showing area, where everyone awaited you. People came up to help console you, the bride, but you smiled, assuring them that you were alright. 

Miguel set Gabi down. Gabi then ran to your legs for a hug, which you happily accepted and returned. Your gaze goes to Miguel and Conchata, who bicker quietly in Spanish.  

You couldn't hear all of it but could make out most of it. 

"Por qué le dirías a Gabi que tú y yo estábamos 'jugando', no le digas que no entiende y que es demasiado joven para saberlo de todos modos'?"(Why would you tell Gabi that y/n and I were 'playing around? Don't tell her that. She  doesn't understand and she is too young to know anyways.)

"Bueno, ¿estaban ustedes dos 'jugando' allí?"(Well, were you two 'playing around' back there?)

"no, y ese no es el punto de esta conversación"

(no, and that is not the point of this conversation.)

"No lo niego del todo, hijo mío. ¿Qué diría Dios?"(I am not fully denying it, my son. What would God say?)

"No hablo de esto contigo. Eso es privado entre mi prometido y yo."(I am not talking about this with you. That's private between me and my fiance.) Miguel's watch buzzed, meaning he was getting a call from work; he looked down and glared at his wrist. "Tengo que tomar este." (I have to take this.)

"Peter, this better be an emergency." He said before he walked outside the store.

Gabi squeezed her tiny hand in yours, jumping up and down in excitement. "Mama, can we look at more dresses. I saw a really pretty one in that room." 

"Of course! Show me where it is." Gabi leads you to one of the rooms filled with various long white gowns. After a few minutes of looking, she points out the dress, to which you happily take it out. Just from the hangar, you think it is beautiful. 

"This one is gorgeous, Gabi. You have great taste. I'll go bring it to the room to try on next."

After looking through more dresses and grabbing some, you were ready to return to the dressing room. Miguel also walked back inside, looking frustrated. Of course, as soon as your eyes met his, his demeanor softened, and he smiled lovingly at you. You walked up to him, caressing his cheek. 

"Is everything alright?"

"Yes, just a few annoyances have come up at work. I need to get back to them so they don't do anything stupid. I'll see you this evening." Miguel kissed you, which you happily returned before he hugged Gabi goodbye and walked out the door.

After trying on almost all the dresses, Gabi picked out the last one. Tears prick the corners of your eyes when you see yourself in the mirror as a smile graces your lips.

"This is it. This is the one."

......

8 months before the wedding

"Here are the invitations and the lists for where they go." You slide over the different 'Save the Date' wedding invitations to the postman.

"I love the design of the cards. Very elegant."  The man smiled as he happily took the invitations and address list. 

The bell to the door entrance rang, signifying someone had entered. The person who had entered walked up right next to you, his hand on your lower back. 

"Everything all done here, Hermosa?" 

"Yep. Just finished now. Was Gabi able to make it to soccer practice?" 

"She did. Jumped out herself and ran straight to the field where her friends and coach were." He chuckled.

"Aw, she's growing up too fast. She did that the other day when I took her to her friend's house for her play date. Let's get her favorite takeout for tonight. " 

"That sounds like a good idea." A buzz came from Miguel's watch, and he saw Jess's name pop up. "I'm sorry cariño. I have to take this call." Miguel kissed the top of your head. 

"No worries. See you outside." You gave his hand a love squeeze before he left to answer the call. 

"Everything is all set. One thing I just have to say.  Damn girl, you really snatched up a fine man." The man winked at you as he fanned his hand against his face. 

"He sure is an amazing man. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with him." 

You left the post office with a smile on your face. You saw Miguel in the driver's side of his car, still on the phone. You quietly entered the passenger side, trying not to disturb his call. 

A few minutes later, his call ended, and he sighed. 

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah, just the same everyday stress I have to handle." You place your hand on his knee as you lean towards him and kiss his neck before whispering, "How about when we get back home I can help relieve some of that stress."

Miguel's eyes widened, and a smirk rested on his lips. Instead of driving straight home, Miguel turned the car into an indoor parking garage. It was an underground garage that goes quite deep into the Earth. 

As soon as you reached the lowest levels where no car were in sight, you turned to look at him, confused by the sudden detour. "What are we doing here?" You chuckle as you see him park in the corner. When he turned off the car, he moved the seat back. 

"Come here, cariño." He gently patted his lap. With a smile, you exited the car and went over to his side, where he opened the door for you. You easily get on his lap as you wrap your arms around his neck, capturing your lips with his. One of his hands trailed down from your back to your ass, squeezing your cheek while closing the door. You gasp, letting his tongue slip past your lips. The door is now closed, and his now other free hand goes to your ass. He pushes you closer against him as your tongues explore the familiar parts of each other's mouths. 

Miguel grunts as he feels you rub yourself on his hardened crotch. Too impatient, he moves you slightly back, unbuckles his belt, and unzips his pants before taking out his glorious thick cock.  

"Guess you couldn't wait to get to the bedroom." You giggle when you see him send you a playful glare as his lips mark your neck with kisses and love bites. 

"You were teasing me all day. You're lucky I didn't do anything at the store when we registered for gifts." Miguel's lips kissed up to your ear as he lowered the straps of your tank top, revealing your uncaged breasts. "You know I can't last minutes without being nestled deep inside your walls when you act like that."

You chuckled at his needy words as he brought his lips towards yours into a heated kiss as you unbuttoned his shirt. You slowly dragged your hand down his chiseled tan chest before your hand wrapped around his cock. 

"I swear. Your wish would be to be inside me 24/7." You chuckle against his neck as you kiss his sweet spot. 

Miguel groaned impatiently as he lifted you and not so gently guided himself inside of you; a gasp from your lips as your reaction and a beautiful sound Miguel would never get sick of.

 "Well, that wish will come true for two weeks after we tie the knot." He takes your chin, reddish-brown eyes staring down at you as he begins moving you on his cock. "And you'll officially become Mrs. O'Hara." He begins to quicken his pace, to which you even have to give him the full reins as his right-hand grasps your waist to give you the level of satisfaction you both desire. You never felt self-conscious about your riding skills, never with Miguel. He always knew when to say the right words and touch you in the right places. 

Of course, whenever you did feel a little subconscious about it, Miguel would just whisper in your ear, "A beautiful woman like you shouldn't have to pleasure a man but to have him pleasure you." 

From his sultry words in your ear to the cosmic pleasure ravaging your insides, you felt your knot come and release in an instant. 

Your euphoric high made your walls squeeze tightly around his cock. With the way he's been trying to paw down his boner all day long, he didn't mind releasing himself inside you so quick as long as he knew your needs were satisfied.

Miguel kisses your brow as you gently lean into his touch, both catching your breath. 

"I guess we need to head back to the house," Miguel murmured against your brow.

You look up at him with a suggestive grin as you brush back some strands of hair sticking to his forehead before caressing his cheek. "I think we can spare a bit more time." 

Miguel's grin widened, agreeing, "Be careful what you wish for, cariño." Miguel purred in your ear as he pulled the side handle of this seat, which made the car seat go all the way down.

.....

4 months before the wedding

You woke up at 4:45 am when your eyes finally adjusted to the light of your phone, seeing the time. You groaned out loud, annoyed with yourself for waking up so early. You never were an early morning riser, the opposite of your fiancé, who you know was downstairs in the home gym doing his morning workout routine. 

You were impressed by his strict early morning regimen. No matter how tired he was the day before, he always woke up at 4 am. He worked out until 6, took a shower, and was back in bed by 7 before you woke up at 8. 

However, this morning, you were awake. Maybe it was the nerves and pre-wedding jitters as the clock for your wedding was ticking closer to the date each day. Being too impatient to wait for Miguel to finish his workout, you decided to bother him. Of course, in his words, you never bothered him as he always loved you being in his company, embraced in his arms. 

Before heading to the basement gym, you put on pajama shorts and a tank top. You leaned against the doorway, admiring how your fiancé's muscles flexed as he lifted dumbbells. 

"Like what you see, Hermosa?" Miguel chuckled as he turned around. You bite your lower lip as you gaze over his sweaty physique. Your core grew tighter as you saw his biceps flex from the weights. 

"Mhm, maybe a little bit." You walk towards him, trying to hide your smile, but fail when you see his bright smile. You place your hands on his chest, gently moving them to his shoulders to rest. 

Miguel set his weights on the bench before returning to the same spot. Your eyes widen slightly in surprise when you feel his hands cupping your ass and pulling you closer. 

"Only a little? Will this change your answer?" His lips met yours in a sweet, loving kiss. "Though I'm happy to see you up early this morning, why are you awake now? Is everything okay?"

He cupped your face, concern growing in his eyes. 

"Yeah, you don't have to worry about me. I just woke up feeling nauseous and couldn't fall asleep, so I thought to come down here to keep you company."

"Are you still feeling nauseous?" 

"Yeah, but I probably just need to eat something."

"I'm sorry cariño. I'll go make you something."Miguel began to lead you both upstairs. You stopped, pausing his movements. 

"You don't have to do that. I'll grab something while you finish your workout." You tried to move from him, but before you could comprehend what was happening, all you could see was Miguel's tight ass in his workout shorts as you were now hauled over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. 

"Miggy. What are you doing?" You laughed as he began to climb the stairs to the first floor. 

When you arrived at the kitchen, he placed you on the counter and gathered the ingredients to make you an omelet. 

"You always come first to me. I can skip a workout to feed my fiancé."

When he stood close to you to chop vegetables, you leaned over to kiss his cheek in appreciation. 

You suddenly need to throw up when you smell the eggs on the pan. 

"I'll be right back." You hid your pale face with a smile as you headed back up to the master bathroom to empty your guts. Not hearing Miguel's footsteps behind you meant he bought your bluff, to your relief. 

When you began to feel better, a thought passed your mind, and you suddenly felt sick again. 

Flushing the toilet and turning on the faucet, you lean your upper body against the sink. You slowly sink your body to the ground in front of the cabinet. Opening the doors, you grab the box for wandering thoughts like the one now currently plaguing your mind. 

As you were anxiously waiting for the haunting test on the sink, you lifted your top to reveal your stomach in the mirror. You took an intake of breath without exhaling as you realized the very subtle baby bump. You quickly went to the test, eyes wide, as you saw the positive mark.

You go back to the kitchen downstairs and see Miguel just plating the food. 

"Your food is ready."

"Thank you for making this for me, honey. But I lost my appetite because...well...this." You show him the pregnancy test. 

Miguel sits down on the stool, staring at the test in shock. He looks back up at you, a smile spreading across his lips. He shoots up from his seat and twirls you around excitedly before kissing you. 

"I know it's a lot sooner than you wanted. But I promise to be there every step of the way." 

"Honestly, after my accident and almost losing my chance to ever have kids. I'm completely fine with having one now."

"I'm assuming you held that information for a reason?" He chuckled.

"Of course I did. The second you found out I wanted to have kids, I don't think we would ever leave our bedroom until I was pregnant." You laughed. 

"You're not wrong on that, mi amor." 

You laugh with your fiancé as you are about to give him a sweet, loving kiss to celebrate your little discovery. However, your body says otherwise as you feel a wave of nausea hit you as you race back to the bathroom, followed by Miguel. 

The nausea only grew worse throughout the day. It wasn't helpful that the final tasting menu and your hair and makeup trial were today. Despite Miguel reassuring you that he could reschedule those events, you refused, as you were hell-bent on your wedding plans not being delayed.

Instead of you adventuring outside, Miguel made a few calls and could move everything to the house simultaneously. 

"So why the sudden location change?" Hummed Stephanie as she leaned on the kitchen counter, sampling one of the dinner choices for the wedding reception. You had called her over this morning asking for her opinion, which she was more than happy to do. However, when she saw your sickly-looking skin tone and your constant need to excuse yourself with Miguel looking anxious every time questions were raised in your best friend's mind. 

"It's supposed to rain all day today."

"Haven't see cloudless rain before. Must be something new." 

"Gabi was sick, so we needed to stay home with her." 

"Mama, I'm not sick." Gabi looks up at you, confused from the kitchen stool she was sitting next to you drawing. 

You look back to Stephanie with a nervous smile as she narrows her eyes at you. 

"Hermosa, I don't think you can hide it much longer," Miguel added.

"Oh, I could tell something was up when I first saw you today." 

You sigh as you look at Miguel, who is trying his best to hide his amusement. You look at your daughter, who is happily coloring. "Baby bug, would you like to tell Auntie Steph the big news?" 

Gabi smiled brightly as she held up the picture she was drawing. It was her, Miguel, and you with a round belly. 

"I'm going to be a big sister!"

Stephanie's eyes widen in surprise before she goes straight to hug you.

"That's amazing! Ahh, I'm going to be an aunt again! Congratulations, you too!"

You happily hug her back. " Of course, you can tell Jack. But is it possible for you and him to keep it a secret? Just until after the wedding. I don't think Miguel and I could handle the extra annoyances from the in-laws if they knew." 

"I totally understand Jack and I's lips are sealed."  Stephanie zipped her lips and tossed the invisible key away. "Now, do we all agree neither dish is perfect for your guys' reception?" Stephanie pushed the plate away.

"I've been waiting for someone else to say it," Miguel added as he dumped the food in the trash.

"From the smell of it, I can agree." Your nausea gets the better of you as you rush back up to the bathroom, followed by a worried and doting Miguel. 

Stephanie chuckled as she watched the couple rush up the stairs. "Your parents are adorable. Aren't they, Gabi?"

"Yeah! Am I adorable, too?"

"You are the most adorable." Stephanie booed Gabi's nose, making her giggle. 

.....

2 months before the wedding

"Everything looks good and healthy." The Doctor smiles as she helps wipe up the gel on your stomach. 

"How far along am I?"  

"You're three months along. Now, make sure to follow all these instructions." The Doctor handed you the paper, which you happily accepted before handing it to Miguel, knowing he would be more responsible for not losing it. 

"Do you have any questions?"

You chuckled when you saw Miguel take out his list of questions, which he had been writing down for the past few weeks since you had scheduled the Doctor's visit. 

Even though you have a daughter, neither of you have gone through the pregnancy process, making him act like a first-time and nervous father.

After letting Miguel ask questions for another 30 minutes, it was time to go. Bless the Doctor's heart for being so patient. Even your bladder couldn't handle it, leaving the room twice. 

You both get in the car as Miguel drives you to the bridal boutique. Ever since you both found out that you were pregnant, Miguel has been a little bit overprotective, if you were putting it nicely. 

Despite being the CEO of Alchemex, he was able to go to work only two times a week. And despite being dotting before, he is at your beck and call, whether that be driving you somewhere since he has been too nervous to let you drive while pregnant despite you telling him you were fine or getting you a glass of water every time you were thirsty. 

Miguel placed his free hand on top of yours, intertwining his fingers with yours. He glanced over at you with a heartfelt smile. 

"Are you still good to head to city hall after your appointment?" 

"Of course. I'm glad to be out of the house a lot today. I feel like I've been cooped up all week." You smiled back at him as you placed your other hand on your small baby bump. 

"Just double-checking Hermosa. I know the morning sickness has improved, but I wanted to ensure you were okay with being at city hall for a bit. Even with the expedited appointment, we might still be waiting." 

"I never thought you had to apply for a marriage permit." Your cheeks tinted pink out of embarrassment. 

Miguel chuckled as he lifted your hand intertwined in his and kissed your knuckles. 

"Don't feel embarrassed, mi amor. You're 22. I doubt you were thinking of getting married anytime soon." Miguel's fingers gently fidgeted with your engagement ring.

You chuckled as you squeezed his hand out of love. "Well, before us, I definitely wouldn't have imagined being a pregnant mother of a six-year-old getting ready to be married in two months to the love of my life." You look over at him as you take in his appearance. "And I wouldn't want it any other way." 

"I love you," he lovingly looked over at you. You leaned towards his seat and kissed his cheek.

"I love you too, Miggy."

After some time in the bridal shop, you say your goodbyes and leave to see your fiancé in the car working. You were relieved that the dress fit with plenty more wiggle room for when your stomach gets bigger. You were thankful for the bridal store's kindness for the sudden change so close to your wedding. You guessed it didn't help that you had told them as soon as you found out about your pregnancy, and maybe because of the extra sum given to have it done. 

Around 20 minutes later, you arrive at City Hall. When you get to the right floor for marriage permits, you internally groan when you see the long line going around the corner and down the hall. You hear Miguel sigh, which makes you smile, knowing he feels the same way. 

Another 20 minutes passed, feeling more like an eternity with your swollen feet, and the line barely moved. You felt Miguel wrap an arm around your waist as he brought you in front of him. He leaned against the wall before moving you to lean against him. 

"Lean on me, cariño," Miguel whispered in your ear. 

You look up at him: "Are you sure? You must tired, too."

He smiled lovingly down at you, brushing some of your hair behind your ear. "I'm perfectly fine. You're carrying our child. You must be tired from standing. Lean on me to relieve the stress in your back." 

You smile up at him as you get on your toes to give him a quick kiss and thank you before you wrap your arms around his waist, hugging him as you lean your head on his chest. You sigh in relief as leaning against him relieves some of your soreness. 

"Thank you, honey." You say against his chest. Your heart flutters when you hear the vibration of his chuckle before you feel him kiss the top of your head. 

"Anything for you, mi amor." 

Another 20 minutes went by, and it was beginning to become mentally painful to see how slow the line was going. 

"There you are, Mr. O'Hara." A man walking by stopped in front of the two of you, making you turn around. 

"Yes?" Miguel spoke.

"I've been searching the halls for you. I'm going to get you and Ms. L/n your marriage permit. I apologize for the delay. When the security checked you in, they should have sent you straight to me. Please follow me this way." The man gestured for you and Miguel to follow him. 

You look up to Miguel as you shrug your shoulders before following the government official. 

You enter an office that would be deemed very nice for a government-paid room. You sit and smile as tears threaten to spill from the relief you feel in your feet and lower back. 

"You know, for someone of my standing, maybe you should have been waiting at the check-in to bring us to your office and not depend on a security guard to do your job. Instead, my pregnant fiancé and I had to wait in line for almost an hour in an unconditioned building. You're lucky she didn't faint from the heat." Miguel's tone became serious, with an obvious tone of anger. 

Your fiancé's death glare alone could send someone into an early grave. Should you be scared? Maybe. But all you felt was how hot he looked doing it. 

"My deepest apologies, Mr. O'Hara. I can waive the fee for the permit." The official swallowed nothing, and his nerves were evident on his face. 

"That's not needed. I'll pay for it. Just do better for the next couple." 

"O-of course, sir." 

Thankfully, after a speedy process through all the paperwork, most likely from Miguel's glare going straight into the official's soul. 

"Bring this to the ceremony, sign it, and mail it in for it to be registered afterward. And that's it for here. Once again, I apologize for the earlier inconvenience. If you need anything from us, please don't hesitate to contact me. Here is my personal phone number." The man hands Miguel a paper with his number. "Have a lovely evening."

You and Miguel stood up from your seats to your dissatisfaction as Miguel led you out of the office. Once you left the building, Miguel sighed in relief. 

You turned around and placed your hands on his chest. 

"You were very impressive in there, Mr. O'Hara."

He placed his hands on your hips as he grinned down at you. "I try my best, Mrs. O'Hara." He leaned down for a kiss, but he stopped by your finger. 

"Not yet, your Mrs." You winked at him with a smile as you walked out of his grasp and towards the car. Miguel chuckled deeply from behind you. 

"I love it when you feisty Hermosa." 

.....

1 month before the wedding 

You mindlessly stared at the white wall as you lay in bed. You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to stop the tears as you felt another wave of pain in your abdomen. 

You heard voices from outside the bedroom door. 

"How was she today?" Miguel spoke in a whisper. 

"Nothing new. She's been in bed beside the few times she needed to use the restroom too well. You know. She still hasn't eaten anything. I'm worried about her. She won't listen to anything I say. Maybe you can get through to her today." Spoke Stephanie.

"Thank you for watching her and Gabi while I dealt with that emergency at work." 

"Of course. You know I would do anything for her. How have you been managing?" 

"It's been a hard two weeks. But I'm more worried for her. It breaks my heart to have her go through this. If I ever see that bitch Sofia... I probably would end up in prison myself for what I would do."

"Fortunately, she has been behind bars for a long time. I'll let you go in there. I'll help finish the seating chart and the remaining small details that still need to be done."

"Thank you for all the extra help you and Jack have been doing for the wedding. It means a lot to both of us."

You heard Stephanie say goodbye before you heard the door to your bedroom open. As the bed dipped, you felt arms wrap around you. 

You closed your eyes to pretend to fall asleep, not wanting to talk. 

Two weeks ago:

You stood in front of a corkboard with circles organized according to importance. You stared at the board for hours, figuring out where to place your parents. 

"Urgh. Should I place them at the main family table? I don't really want to interact with them. If they even decide to come to the wedding." You mumble to yourself out loud. You look down at Gabi lying on the ground, watching her favorite morning cartoons. You smiled at how adorable your daughter was.

"Hey, baby bug. Where should my parents sit at the wedding?"

Gabi stood up and walked right up next to you with her usual happy smile. You passed her your parents' little name tags as she took them and went to the board. On her tiptoes, she put your parents' name tags at the main family table. 

"When I have my wedding, I want you and Papa to sit right next to me." You smile as you see her go on her tiptoes to put the name tags in the right place on the board. Over the course of the time you've lived here, you've seen her grow so much already. You knew she would get some of her father's height from how tall she was now at 7.

"Perfect! Do you want to help with the gift bags?" 

Gabi's eyes sparked with excitement as she jumped up and down towards the dining room table. You chuckled as you followed behind her. After a few minutes of showing her what went into each bag and seeing her do one, you left her on her own while you went to the kitchen to make you and her lunch. 

You felt something unusual in your abdomen. Your hand went to your round belly, a smile coming to your lips when you thought it was the baby kicking for the first time. That happy smile quickly turned as you felt another sensation, but it was a sharp pain. Your hand clenched your stomach as the pain kept on coming. A wet patch forms between your legs, but when you look down, your eyes widen to see blood drip from your thighs to the floor. 

You grunted in pain as it became worse, making you collapse to the ground before you could grab your phone. 

"No, no, no, no." You cried out loud in pain. This couldn't be happening. On that day, Miguel had to go to work. 

"Mama?"  Gabi walked into the kitchen. When she saw you lying on the floor in pain, you saw her face scrunch up as you saw her tears start to fall. She runs up to you as she kneels beside you. 

"Mama! You're bleeding! Are you hurt?" Gabi cried, scared for you. 

You gain enough strength to caress her face to try and soothe her. "I'll be alright, sweetheart. But something is not right with your brother or sister. Can...can..you...can you get my phone?"

Gabi nodded as she stood up and went to the kitchen counter. Getting on her tippy toes, she grabbed the phone. When she had it, she came back to your side and handed it to you. 

You start to feel your vision go in and out.

"Sweetie, you remember how we taught how to dial the phone?"

"Yeah." 

"Mama is having a hard time with her vision. Can you press 911 and then the green button for me?"

"Okay." You heard her sniffling as you tried to console her and let her know everything would be alright. 

You last heard a knock on the door before everything went black. 

You groaned as you awoke from what seemed like a deep slumber. You feel your hand in another's grip tightening slightly when you move your arm a little.

"Mi Amor?" Your fingers gently brushed against your cheek as you smiled, leaning into the warmth. 

"Miguel?" You start to notice your surroundings in a hospital. Once again... you sit up suddenly but are met with a stinging pain in your lower abdomen as you cry out in pain. 

"Y/n, don't strain yourself so soon. You have lost a lot of blood." Miguel sits on the bed next to you as he brings you into his loving embrace. You look at him and notice his tear-stained face and tired red eyes. You place your hands on his face, concerned about why your fiancé was so upset. 

The pain in your stomach and your fiancé's distressed face made tears fall down as you realized what had happened. 

"The baby...they're gone?" Even though you knew the answer, you hoped Miguel would reassure you. Instead, the pained look in his eyes worsened as he brought your head into the crook of his neck. 

"I'm so sorry."

You cried in his arms for the remainder of the Night until you passed out from exhaustion. Not once did Miguel leave your side as he stayed in the bed with you, consoling your broken heart. 

Nurses came in every hour to check your vitals and ask if you needed anything. It wasn't until morning that you woke up to see the Doctor walk in—the same one from the last time you were here.

That morning took a piece of your heart away when the Doctor explained to you and Miguel the cause of the miscarriage. Ever since your car accident and almost losing your uterus, it has become not the most suitable place for a baby to grow, and it would be very hard for you to carry out a full-term pregnancy. Pretty much tells you that you couldn't have kids. At least, that is how you took the news. 

"Y/n, please talk to me. You haven't left the bedroom in two weeks and barely eaten anything. It's breaking my heart to see you like this." Miguel whispered in your ear as he kissed the side of your head. 

You turn yourself to face him as you look up at him. You could see the bags under his eyes and how tired he looked. You knew he was grieving as much as you were, but still being strong to keep everything together, unlike you, who broke apart.

 

"Maybe you should marry someone who can give you and Gabi the family you deserve." You say barely above a whisper.

You feel strong hands on your face as he lifts your chin to look at him. Brown eyes are now serious.

" y/n, don't ever say something like that again. You are the only woman I love and want to marry and have a family with. No one else. And you know that is not true about your inability to have kids. You still can have children. We just have a few extra obstacles, and that's all."

"But what if I can't."

"Even if we never have a baby, we still have that little girl who loves and idolizes you more than her favorite sport. More than the world. Even more than me." He chuckled, which made you crack a small smile. He added: "We still have our little Princess and will always have her. And just having you and Gabi in my life is more than enough. I couldn't see my life without either one of you."

"I couldn't live without you and Gabi either. I think having little family outings and focusing on planning the wedding will help make life normal again." 

Miguel leaned down as he placed a sweet and loving kiss on your lips before smiling, "I couldn't agree more."

.....

The Night before the wedding

After a relaxing day of shopping and lounging at the pool with your bridesmaids, you're glad to be heading back to your room to rest and prepare for your big day tomorrow. 

Instead of heading to the elevators, Stephanie directs you to the bar area. Heading to the bar, she sits down, followed by you right next to her. 

"Two glasses of champagne, please." Stephanie smiled at the bartenders, who nodded with a smile at her request. 

You look at her in surprise that she ordered you a glass. " Steph, I'm not sure I'm ready to drink yet. I haven't had a drop since before finding out I was pregnant."

"I know it's only been a month since you lost the baby, but it's the night before your wedding. The champagne is barely alcohol. Plus you shouldn't have anything else so you can look your best tomorrow. But honestly. You could look like a train wreck, and Miguel would still think you are the most gorgeous woman on Earth."

You smile as you look at the glass handed to you. "You're not wrong there. You know this is the first time I feel completely fine talking about the miscarriage." You smiled. The bartender arrives with the glasses. Stephanie lifted hers towards you. Taking a deep breath, you smile as you pick it up and clink your glass with hers. "To the start of a new chapter." Stephanie smiled before taking a sip. You smiled, " To a new chapter." Before taking a sip. 

You noticed the time as you were chatting away about memories from your childhood or college. 

"Oh shoot, I guess I need to head to bed if I want to get at least a full night's rest."

"Good idea. You definitely won't be getting any during your honeymoon," Stephanie winked as she took another sip of her drink. "Oh, I have something to give you," Stephanie said as she grabbed a medium-sized box from one of her shopping bags. 

"Oh, Stephanie, you didn't have to do that. With everything you've done with planning the wedding. That's been an amazing gift."

"Of course, girlie. Anything for my BFF. Then let this be your post-wedding gift. I'll let you open it in private." Stephanie grinned before gently pushing the box to you on the counter. 

You narrowed your eyes at your best friend, wondering what she was up to before flashing her a smile. 

After saying your goodbyes, you made it to your bedroom. You sighed as you entered a quiet room. There is no sign of a warm, deep voice greeting you or a giggling voice in front of the T.V. in the other room before small footsteps come running towards you for a hug. You and Miguel wanted to be in a suite together as a family. But Conchata insisted you were in separate rooms. Even separate floors. You both agreed only because she stopped breathing down Miguel's back.

You sit on the bed, too big for one, and glance at the box Stephanie gave you. Grabbing it and setting it on your lap, you take the top off the box. Your cheeks go bright red once you lift the tissue paper. A card is placed on the intricate white silk lace lingerie. 

A little something to spice up the wedding night. It's not like the two of you need it, though; - ) 

-Steph😘

Your eyes widen as you lift the piece of clothing.

"How in the hell do you get this on?"

You notice another card fall out. Setting the lingerie back in the box, you leaned down to pick it up. 

Knowing you: Here are instructions on how to put it on.

You roll your eyes as you set the instructions on the bed. 

You were in the bathroom suite, trying to put these strings on your body right. You stopped midway as you looked at yourself and then at the photo, knowing you had already messed up. 

"How the fuck do I put this on?" You growled to yourself. 

You heard a faint knock on your door. Quickly getting out of it, "At least it's easy to take off."

Back in your comfy lounge, you head to the door, where you hear another faint knock, this time a deep voice followed by a young one. 

You smile as you open the door and see Miguel and Gabi looking very tan from being at the beach all day. While your bridesmaids whisked you away, Miguel and Gabi spent the day together. Although you love spending time with Steph and all your old friends, you would have liked to spend all day at the beach sitting beside Miguel while watching Gabi making sand castles or collecting shells nearby. 

"Mama!" Gabi ran in as she hugged you. You happily picked her up and kissed the top of her forehead. 

Miguel followed behind her as he closed the door. 

"Hola, Hermosa." Miguel smiled as he brought you close and gave you a sweet kiss on the lips. 

"Hi, you two. I thought I wouldn't get to see you both until tomorrow. I've missed you all day," you say as you walk to the sofa with Gabi and sit down with her on your lap. Miguel follows as he sits right next to you. 

"We missed you too! Especially Papa. He kept saying how much he missed you and wished you were with us."

"Can I not have any secrets kept from your mother?" He chuckled as he picked her up from your lap and tickled her. 

"Nope!" She squealed in laughter. "Mama, help me!" 

"Did you say tickle you too? Okay." You laugh as you also begin to tickle her. 

"No, mama, I said help me!" Gabi giggled as she tried to get away from the both of you. 

After a few minutes, you finally give your daughter her freedom, and she immediately hops off the couch and away from our reach. 

"Mama! I have a present for you! Papa, where's Mama's present?" Gabi said as she sat in between you and Miguel.

"A present? For me?" Your smile widens as Miguel hands her a rectangular envelope. 

"Here you go." Gabi smiled.

You look at the envelope as you see hearts drawn all over and in Gabi's handwriting:

To: Mama

Love: Gabi♥️

"I hope you like it." She smiled as she kept jumping up and down in her seat, and Miguel lifted her to his lap to stop.

"Aw, I bet I will, baby bug. I like anything you get me."

"But this present is extra special."

"Oh?" You gently open the envelope, careful not to tear it, and take out a folded paper. 

Opening it up, you read the first few lines—it was a government form. Tears began to brim the corner of your eyes as you read the first word at the top of the paper: adoption.

You looked at Gabi as tears began to spill. A wide smile made its way to your lips as you wrapped your arms around Gabi, brought her to your lap, and gave her a big hug. 

"Aw, Gabi. This is the best gift you could ever give me. Thank you." 

"I'm happy you love it, mama." Gabi smiled as she wrapped her arms around your neck. 

Miguel smiled as he brought you both to his side. 

"I guess the gift I have for you might not compare."

You turned to look at him, surprised by his words. 

"You got me something else?" 

" I did. But you can't know what it is until the morning. Are you fine with waking up really early?" Your smile widens from his mysterious words. You lean up to kiss his cheek. 

"I can't wait. Do you know what it is, Gabi?"

Gabi giggled as she covered her mouth and shook her head before she said, "I can't tell you. I pinky promised Papa." 

You brushed her hair behind her ears as you gave her a hug. "Oh, alright. I guess I'll just have to wait until morning then."

You all ended up getting cozy as a family on the bed, all in pajamas. Gabi sat between your legs as she watched the family-friendly movie on the T.V. while you braided her hair. 

"Pass me your other hair tie, sweetie." Gabi took the blue scrunchie with the charm of a soccer ball and handed it to you. "Thank you. Annnnd All done!"

Gabi looked at her two braids with a smile on her face as she turned around and gave you another hug. You lifted her to the covers and said, " Okay, it's time to go to sleep. We all have a big day tomorrow."

"Aww, do we have to? The movie isn't over."

Miguel pulls the covers over her to get her settled. "You can watch it from right here. And yes, we do. All three of us have to be up super early. Good Night, princesa." Miguel kisses the top of her head before turning off the light. 

As soon as the lights were off, your eyes suddenly felt heavy, and you fell asleep surrounded by the love of your life and your baby daughter. 

You awoke to the sound of an alarm. It was 4:30 am, and it was still nighttime outside. You got out of bed and went to freshen up in the bathroom. When you walked in, you saw Miguel holding a familiar piece of paper in his hand. You blushed as you snatched it out of his hands. 

"You aren't meant to see that until later today." Your reddened cheeks said it all as Miguel saw the box on the counter. You move in front of it, knowing what he was thinking. 

Miguel chuckled, "And what is it that I can't see until then?" His voice is still low from just waking up. He walks right up to you, putting his arms on both sides, trapping you between him and the counter. 

"Trust me. You will want to wait on this one." 

"I can't wait."

You smiled as he lifted your chin, leaning down to kiss your lips with a sweet, long kiss. 

"We're getting married today." 

"Maybe a lot sooner than you think. I have something for you in the closet." Miguel lets you free from your intimate trap as you go to the closet. You gasp as you see a beautiful, long white silk sundress with a low back and a few accessories. 

When you were finally dressed, including your hair and makeup, you walked back into the main area of the suite. You smiled as you saw Miguel wearing a nice dress shirt and pants. 

"Mama, look at my dress!"

You saw Gabi in a beautiful light blue dress, matching her father's shirt. 

"You look beautiful, baby bug." You pick her up as you twirl her around. 

"You look really, really pretty, Mama. You too, Papa!" Gabi smiled in your arms. Miguel placed a hand on your lower bare back, sending a spark up your spine. 

"We better get going. The boat is waiting for us." Your fiancé's words piqued your interest, and you looked up at him with a smile and a curious look.

"A boat?"

"You'll see soon enough, cariño." Miguel chuckled as he led you out of the hotel and to a car, the driver waiting for all of you. 

After a 10-minute drive, you were at the beach. You felt a beautiful peace, as the only thing you could hear was the beautiful song of the ocean. 

(Play here if you want😊)

Miguel took your hand in his, giving you a love squeeze. "You're going to love this, Mama!" Gabi smiled as she was skipping slightly ahead of the two of you. A few minutes walk on the beach on a dock before you saw a gorgeous small yacht decorated with hanging lights and music.

"Miguel, this...this is beautiful. What is it for?"

You both followed Gabi as she was already boarding the boat. When you got on the boat, you gasped at how beautiful everything was up close. The front of the boat was decorated with your favorite flowers, and the petals made a path to a small white pergola with a person standing underneath. 

The boat began to move on the water as you marveled at the beauty of The Algarve of Portugal from the water. 

"Now, can I know what the rest of this wonderful surprise is?"

Miguel turned to you with the happiest and most loving smile, his eyes showing just as much. He took both your hands in his.

"I know that the last month has been stressful. And not only the miscarriage but the stress of everyone a part of the wedding. I could see the stress and sadness in your eyes during the rehearsal with your parents and the annoyance of some of your bridesmaids. I know everything we have planned will be beautiful, and I can't wait to see you walk down that aisle later today and pour out all my love to you in front of everyone. But this is just for us. No loud noise. Let's get married right here. Let's have a memory of today that only the three of us will keep close to our hearts. I love you so much, Y/n L/n, that I want to marry you twice. Will you do me the honor?" 

You wrap your arms around his neck as you get on your toes—easier since you are wearing heels—and kiss him sweetly, giving your answer. 

You spent time in each other's arms, watching the moon begin to dip behind the horizon while watching Gabi play around the boat. 

"Hermosa." You can hear the smile in Miguel's voice as he gently calls out to you, waking you from your slight slumber. You were so cozy sitting beside him, keeping warm from the ocean breeze, that you dozed off on his shoulder. 

"It's time." You look ahead to this beautiful natural archway. When you look carefully, you see that it makes a heart shape. 

Miguel leads you to the pergola, where the official is with Gabi ahead, throwing more petals. He leaned towards you, his lips by your ear. 

"Locals say that if you kiss the one you love under this archway just as the sun rises and lights it up, the couple's souls will be connected forever."

Just as the sun begins to peak over the horizon, bringing the bright colors of the world, the official begins. Despite the beauty of nature around you, you can only look into the eyes of the man you love with your whole being. 

After the official says the words that bind you and Miguel forever, sunlight lands on the archway, and Miguel puts his hand behind your head and kisses you with all the love he has for you as you do for him. 

"I love you, Miguel O'Hara."

"I love you too, Y/n O'Hara." 

You spend the rest of the early morning having a celebratory breakfast as a family on the boat before returning to the hotel. Miguel takes you back to your room and places one last kiss on your lips. 

"I'll see you at the altar." He winked at you with a smile before he and Gabi returned to their designated room. 

After resting and bathing again, you heard a knock on your door, and a group of women were exchanging their words on the other side. 

You open the door in a robe. "Good morning, everyone." You smile happily. Miguel was right. This morning, all your stress and worries for today disappeared, as you already got what you wanted from today.

After you and everyone were ready, you looked at yourself in the mirror. Tears well up in the corner of your eyes at how beautiful you looked. The dress your amazing baby daughter had picked out. The white gown was covered in a beautiful lace hat that hugged your figure perfectly to the ground, and the middle end of the dress was a bit see-through. The lace formed your shoulders, arms,  and chest just as the neckline dipped to show some of your cleavage. Your favorite part was the beautiful long and wide dress skirt hanging from your hips that covered the sides and back of your dress as it trailed down to the ground, along with a gorgeous soft white veil that went to the floor being held by a beautiful diamond encrusted headband as your hair flowed around your shoulders pulled back a little at the top to reveal more of you face.  

"Hey, no ruining my makeup masterpiece." Stephanie chuckled as she handed you a tissue. "But you look stunning. Miguel is totally going to tear up on that altar." 

You chuckled, as you had only seen your now secretly husband tear up a few times, so you weren't sure if he would in front of a lot of people.

 

Everyone walked out of the room and headed outside to the car. You smiled as you saw your father exit the driver's side of a beautiful silver-white vintage Rolls Royce. 

He walked up to you with a smile on his face. Only a few days ago, when everyone arrived in The Algarve, your father regretted everything that was said and done. He finally realizes how much you and Miguel mean to each other. It was when you had the miscarriage. He was the one who got you to the hospital as he was planning on visiting you that day to apologize. When he called Miguel and met him at the hospital, he saw all his anger for his friend dissolve and saw how much Miguel loved you. 

Of course, after that apology, you told him it would take some time to fully forgive him, but you were happy that the process was starting. Well, at least for one parent. You had asked him to escort you to church and walk you down the aisle, which he was more than happy to do. 

"You look beautiful." He said, which made you smile. 

"She didn't come and see me." You said to him.

"She's at the church. It wasn't smart for you to have seen her.”

"Do you think she'll ever come around?" You looked up to your father, hoping for a reassuring reply. " Let's get you to that church."

As the car takes you to the cliff where the church is, you smile as you see the locals congratulating you from the streets. When the car comes to a stop, your heart feels like it's beating in your chest, and butterflies begin to fly in your stomach. 

Your father gets out before going to the back, where he opens the door and helps you out. Stephanie and your other bridesmaids, who were in the car behind you, came up to you to make sure everything looked right before walking the remaining feet away to the church entrance. 

You saw Conchata and Gabi outside the entrance waiting for you. 

"Mama!" Gabi ran to you as you happily leaned down to hug her. "You look like a beautiful princess!" She added.

"Aw, thank you, baby bug. You also look like a beautiful princess in your flower girl dress." You did love her dress; it was a light pink silk dress, and the skirt puffed out a bit with tulle underneath. She wore her hair in a bun wrapped with a braid with diamonds on a pink headband. Similar to yours. 

"You look beautiful, my daughter." Conchata hugged you.

"Thank you, Conchata."

Conchata left to go inside to take her seat. And that's when the music began to play. The bridesmaids and their partners began to go in, with Jack and Stephanie being the last ones to go. Jack gave you a hug, saying, "You look amazing, y/n."

"Thanks, Jack."

You took a deep breath, clutching your bouquet tighter as you started to feel the nerves growing. 

"Just look at Miguel and no one else when you enter. It helps with the nerves." Your father smiled as he offered you his arm. You happily put your arms through his. "Thanks, Dad."

The main chorus begins to play, hinting that you should enter. You took another deep breath before you and your father entered the church. You marveled at the beauty of the interior, as it was all wood with flowers that matched your bouquet, which was placed perfectly on the ends of the pews and the altar. You saw Stephanie and Jack up there looking at you joyfully. You saw Gabriel standing on the other side with Gabi right before him. 

Your eyes finally land on reddish-brown as your heart grows bigger. Your smile widens as you keep them on him. You finally reach the altar steps as Miguel walks down to receive you. Your father takes your hand and places it in Miguel's. "Take care of her now. Which I know you've been doing. Thank you." Your father says to Miguel with a smile. Miguel looks at you and replies to your father, "I will."

As Miguel leads you up the altar, he leans toward you and whispers, " You look so beautiful. When I saw you walk down that aisle, it felt like I was falling in love with you for the first time."

You give his hand a love squeeze. "I felt the same too." You notice that tears are threatening to spill from his eyes. 

"Oh, Miguel." You gently wipe a tear from his face. 

"I can't help it, mi amor. You're just so beautiful."

The officiator began the ceremony. It felt like time was still going on, as you could only look at Miguel. Before you knew it, the officiator asked for the vows.

"Miguel, I am so happy that you swept me away from that random guy at the bar all those years ago in Miami. I'm so happy the universe reunited us to have that weekend not be the only time spent together. I am so happy and grateful to be a part of your family. I am so grateful to be loved by you and our daughter, and to you for bringing her into my life. The time I have spent with you has been the happiest days of my life, and I can't wait to continue having more happy years as your wife." You wipe away the tears falling down your face. Miguel moves closer to you, helps wipe away the tears, and smiles lovingly at you. 

"Y/n, mi amor. My sun and universe. When our eyes met across the bar, I knew you would be someone special to me. You have made my soul complete since you came back into my life. Every smile and laugh of yours makes my heart glow. I've been so lucky to wake up beside you every morning and be the person you see first thing every morning. I can't wait to do that every morning for the rest of my life." His words brought your tears back, which made both of you chuckle as he helped you again wipe them away. 

You looked up at him again as you put his wedding band on his finger, and he looked at you with so much love and desire putting on yours.

After a few more words were said by the officiator.

The words you've been waiting for...

"You may kiss the bride." Miguel grinned as he took your waist, brought you close, and kissed you. You placed your hand on his face to bring him closer, and tears ran down both your cheeks and his. 

"I now pronounce you husband and wife."

Cheers erupted from the pews as you and Miguel forced yourself to end the kiss. You walked down the aisle hand in hand out of the church, followed by everyone else.

After taking many photos with the hired photographer and getting dressed in reception attire, which was your gown minus the detachable wide skirt and veil, you kept the headband as a gift from Miguel. You loved how it looked in your hair. 

The reception was going off amazing. Everyone was happy, most likely because it was an open bar. You smiled as you gazed out into the ocean. The reception was on the beach under a gorgeous white and blue tent decorated to the nines with hardwood flooring and beautiful crystal chandeliers. 

You felt a hand placed on your own, turning your attention to your husband. Your brows furrowed when you saw concern in his eyes. 

"Is everything okay?" You smile as you give his hand a love squeeze. 

"Everything is perfect, cariño. I was wondering if you were okay? You haven't touched your food yet. Do you feel ill? Do u want me to have them get you something else?" 

You smile as you lean towards him and kiss his cheek, whispering, "I'm super happy. I'm just reminiscing about this morning." You lean back slightly to see Miguel's eyes fill with love. 

"I'm glad you liked the gift." Miguel caressed your face, took your chin, and kissed you. 

"I loved it. It was beyond perfect. And it made the rest of today so much easier." 

You hear a wine glass chime directing everyone's attention to the live band, where Stephanie and Gabriel now stood. 

"Hi, everyone; we hope you have been having a fantastic time." Stephanie smiled as she lifted her drink, causing the people around her to clap and cheer. 

"As the maid of honor, I must come up here and talk about my bestie, Y/n. And this speech has not been seen by her, so I'm sorry if I embarrass you a little. But it's all out of love." Stephanie blows you an air kiss, which you laugh as you catch it and blow a kiss to her. 

"I have known Y/n since we played little league soccer at 4. We sat on the grassy field, munching on the grass while the other kids ran around with the ball in their hands. And that's when two troublemakers became inseparable. Going on adventures for hours, flirting with older boys, and getting into mischief at the neighborhood barbecues. And god, we were worse when we finally got our driver's license. But that made the adventures even more exciting. Especially that trip to Miami. I found a hookup to get over an ex and you found love. When I saw you and Miguel together for the first time at that breakfast, I knew it was something special. Maybe neither of you knew it at the time. But the way you looked at each other wasn't just lust; it was love. And oh my god. When you came to our room the day of our departure, you left before he woke up. I swear I wanted to strangle you for how ridiculous you were for doing that. When we arrived at that neighborhood barbecue after returning from Europe, we were sleep-deprived and saw Miguel again. I knew you two were fated to be together. And I'm so happy to have gotten to know you, Miguel, and Gabi. I'm thrilled and happy to take the role of the fun Auntie. Congratulations again to Miguel And Y/n O'Hara." Stephanie raised her champagne glass as everyone clapped and cheered. When Stephanie left the stage, you walked over to her and gave her a hug as you wiped away the happy tears.

" Now, the speech my brother has been waiting for." Gabriel chuckled as he winked at Miguel. Miguel face palmed, and he swore in Spanish under his breath. You laughed lightly as you wrapped your arm around his and rested your head on his shoulder. 

"Miguel, you have been the best big brother and man this world could ever have. For as long as I can remember, you have always been there to help and support me and anyone who needed it. I know you always wished for someone to be there for you even though it was hard with your position; you didn't know who to trust. But I'm so happy you found someone who lights up your day. Y/n, thank you so much for filling that missing piece of him. You two will have many happy years together because you were meant for each other. To the happy couple." 

Once again, everyone clapped and cheered, and when Gabriel sat down next to Miguel, he hugged him in thanks. 

"Mama?" You and Miguel looked to see your daughter standing between both your chairs.

"Hi, baby bug. Are you having fun with the other kids?"

"Yeah! I'm happy that you and Papa found each other and that became my mom. You're the best mom in the whole wide world." 

"Aw, Gabi. I'm so happy and grateful to be your mom. You're the best daughter in the world." You have her sit on your lap as you hug her. 

"I love you, mama." Gabi hugs you tighter.

"I love you too, my baby bug."

As the day turned into the night with food, drinks, and dancing with your husband and daughter, plus your favorite part when you and Miguel cut the cake, you both put frosting on Gabi's nose as she had done to the both of you.

It was time for you and Miguel to go to the airport to catch your flight to your honeymoon. However, Miguel kept the destination a secret from you. After saying goodbyes, especially to Gabi, as she was returning to Nueva York with Gabriel as you wouldn't see her for two weeks.

You sat in Miguel's lap as the driver took you two to the jet. You both talked about today's highlights. 

When you arrived inside the jet, you noticed the stark difference between the one you usually take and this one. There were only a few seats and then a wall with a door. Was it storage? You were surprised when the air host walked you both to the back of the plane and opened that door, revealing a large master bedroom with a full-size bed. The air host said to press the call button if you two needed anything before leaving and closing the door behind them.

You were so stunned by seeing a literal bedroom and full-size bathroom on a plane that you were slightly started when you felt Miguel's arms wrap around your middle, bringing you against him as he kissed your neck. 

"A little surprised, mi amor?" Miguel chuckled. You turned around to face him and wrapped your arms around his neck as you kissed him. 

"Just a little. Never would have thought I would be in a bedroom in the sky." 

"Well, let me make it worth your while." Miguel's lips met yours with passion and desire. He quickly turned you back around to unzip your dress. As it fell to the ground, he looked at what you were wearing underneath. 

"Was this my surprise from earlier today?" Miguel pulled you closer to him by your hips.

"It is. Like it?" You grin up at him.

"Oh, I love it." Miguel lifts you up and gently tosses you on the bed. He quickly takes his clothes off, leaving nothing to the imagination as he climbs on top of you.

He placed a sweet kiss on your lips before making his way down your neck and breasts, giving each nipple its deserved attention with his mouth, down to your stomach before he made it between your legs. You jilted up a soft moan coming out of you when you felt him nip your inner thigh. 

"I love it when your body reacts like that whenever I touch you." He mumbled against your thigh right before his lips met your clit. Your fingers immediately went through his hair as every sensation made you grip his hair and make his mouth work faster. 

You felt the jet's engine as it began moving, further increasing your pleasure. Your core tightened as you felt Miguel's tongue enter inside you. 

Your mind was half in reality, half on a euphoric high. Thighs tighten around his head as you come undone for the second time just from his tongue alone. 

Miguel lifted his body and positioned himself between you. He hovered over you, placing kisses along your neck to your ear and whispering, " I'm so lucky to have such a beautiful woman to call my wife."

Your hands go to his face as you bring his lips to yours, needing to taste him. He licked your lips, wanting to explore your mouth. You gasp as you feel his tongue enter your mouth while he fully thrusts himself into you. 

You instinctively wrap your legs around his waist as he begins his quick and swift pace inside of you.

"Miguel." You cry out as you claw at his back.

"Fuck you feel so good around my cock." Miguel growled as his pace grew faster, making you feel your core tighten again. 

He grabbed your hips and lifted you to his lap, giving him a new angle to fuck you in, making the tip of his cock hit in just the right place repeatedly. You cried out loud as you reached your high again. 

Your hands claw against his back as you have your arms wrapped around his neck as your head falls lazily to the side, letting him mark your neck with love bites. 

Going after your third orgasm, your cunt began to feel overstimulated as he continued to fuck you at the same rough pace. 

"God, it feels so good." You mewled out loud. Miguel leaned forward as he kissed your lips. 

"Only the best for you, Hermosa," He whispered.

Miguel continued to slam into you as his cock twitched, almost at its peak. You moaned out loud as you squeezed around him from your fourth orgasm. The sudden tightness around his cock makes him groan as he spills deep inside you, coating your walls white.

Your upper body lay on his lap in a sweaty state as Miguel continued to thrust inside you, becoming more sloppy as he came down from his sexual high. He kissed your brow, your nose, and then your lips. 

"I love you so much." He mumbled against your lips. He laid you down on the duvet as he laid next to you, brushing your hair away from your face. 

"I love you too, Miggy." You smile lovingly at him as you kiss his chin and lips. "I have another small surprise for you." 

Miguel looked at you with a curious grin, waiting to hear what you had to say. 

"I stopped taking my birth control. I still want to try to have a baby." 

You can tell your words made his day even more amazing. You knew after your miscarriage the thought of having another baby might be a while away. But ever since the miscarriage, the thought of having a baby became stronger with you. 

"You really mean that cariño?" 

You happily nodded with a smile. " I do." 

Miguel placed butterfly kisses all over your face before hovering over you. You look down and an imaginary sweat mark falls down your face as you see him fully erect again. He brought your open legs against him, smiling. 

"Ready for round two?"

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Hope you enjoyed the chapter🥰

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[slxtslovebambi]

𝙒𝙚𝙩 𝘿𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙢𝙯 💦 💭

Eren Yeager x Fem!reader | MDNI

Mentions of: Armin, Jean and Connie.

Synopsis: based of : Wet Dreamz by J. Cole.

[ Eren basically is a loner without any game. He finds himself crushing over the popular girl that sits next to him in his math class and keeps passing him cute letters and notes, praying that she’ll be the one that’s going to take his virginity!]

Warnings: Fem!reader, mentions of sex, Eren being head over heels for you, mentions of virginity loss, cuss words etc.

Wc: 2k+

Eren has always been a laid back kid.

He likes video games, smoking and staying out of drama.

Of course he like girls and stuff like that too, it’s just that he never really went out of his way to try and talk to them. The girls at his college are mostly not interested in him anyways since he’s kinda a loner and he’s not interested in changing anything about that…

At least that’s what he thought until he first met you. He could never forget the day you walked into his math class and sat down next to him, with a warm smile on your face and a cherry lollipop between your plump lips. He immediately noticed your pretty face and the way you smell.

He found himself so fascinated with the way your hair looked that whenever he was watching porn late at night by himself in his college dorm, he specifically looked for girls with a similar hair type. He loved talking to you just to hear your soft voice and cute giggles, but after your professor expressed multiple times that he doesn’t want you guys to distract the other students, you had to switch to exchanging small letters and notes.

At this point Eren has a whole little box full of notes that you wrote him since the beginning of the year.

Everything started off so innocent until you started flirting with him, trying to make him blush and get a reaction out of him, like the virgin whore that he was. Attending classes felt like a reward now, since he gets to spend time with you on a daily basis.

You often catch him starring at you, but you never thought much about it.

If only you knew that secretly he was wondering if you’d be able to make him nut the same way it feels like when he does it himself to your photos.

You’re not the it girl at campus but you are popular for sure. You’ve always been pretty confident, not taking shit from people and making sure that everybody knew not to play around with you. He’s truly fascinated by you and he finds himself quickly developing feelings for you.

Even his friends noticed his behavior change. Since he met you he’s daydreaming a lot more, mostly about the way that your thighs would make a perfect pillow or the cute pout you have on your lips when you don’t understand something and you have to ask him for help.

"Bruh what the fuck? Yoo Eren? Earth to Eren?"

Connie waves his hand in front of Eren's face to catch his attention.

"Huh?" Eren responds, snapping out of his hypnotic state.

"We’re asking if you’re coming to the party on Saturday?" Connie asks curiously.

"Nah I’m busy this weekend, sorry guys." He mutters quietly in response.

"What do you mean you’re busy? You never miss a party!" Jean looks at him shocked.

"Y/n is coming over this weekend, that’s why he’s acting that way." Armin reveals his best friends secret with a smirk on his face.

"He even told me I’m not allowed to come home till Sunday." He continues.

"Wait, wait, WAIT! Y/n L/n? Bro you better forget about her." Connie looks at Eren like he’s insane.

"What? Why?" Eren looks up to his friend, suddenly all ears again.

"She’s like wayyy out of your league, there’s no way she’d let you try anything with her!" Jean shakes his head, trying to prepare his friend for a heart break.

"Who said I wanna 'try anything’?" Eren starts getting annoyed. He knows all of those things but that’s not gonna stop him from dreaming night and day about your pretty lips warped around his dick, crying and gagging for him with that seducing look on your face that you always give him.

"Ohh right, I forgot our boy is still a virgin. Don’t worry, you’re not less of a man!"

Jean ruffles through Eren's hair.

"I never said I was?!" Eren looks offended over at his friend.

"Yeah but you thought it." Connie laughs.

"I hate you guys." He just rolls his eyes… but what if they are right?

Did he ever have a real chance with you?

And do you even like him?

—

Friday was like any other day…

at least that’s what Eren expected when he sat down next to you like usually.

You immediately noticed that something was off. He seemed so cold and distant and even after you asked him "did I do something wrong?", with a cute pout on your face, he only responded with a "nah don’t worry." before turning his head away from you again. The truth is that Eren was just scared. Hurt and scared to be specific.

What if Jean and Connie were right, and he’s just your way of passing time during your boring lectures.

He always felt a little delusional for thinking there could be something going on between you guys, but the conversation he had with his friends yesterday just made things worse.

Eren basically ignored you for almost the entire lecture, thinking about thousands of reasons why you could think that he’s not good enough for you.

He always had his fair share of insecurities, but he still hoped you’d like him regardless.

However all of his worries got dismissed after he opened the letter you passed him when nobody was looking.

'𝑯𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒉𝒂𝒅 𝒔𝒆𝒙 𝒃𝒆𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒆?'

It said, written perfectly in your handwriting.

You smile at him innocently before tapping the end of your pencil against your bottom lip.

There’s no way you would write something like that if you weren’t interested in him… right?…

You’re so cruel for playing around with him like that. At this point it doesn’t even matter anymore if all of this is a joke or game to you, Eren is willing to risk it all.

If he ever had the glimpse of a chance with you, then now is the time to make use of it and shoot his shot. He’s definitely going to keep the note and brag about it to his friends though, simply to prove them that he’s not some virgin loser and that he knows how to talk to girls, even if he doesn’t do it a lot.

He smiles softly to himself before ripping out a piece of paper from his notebook and scribbling something on it.

He hands it to you while giving you a cocky attitude. '𝘖𝘧 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘴𝘦𝘹 𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦' You read on it. '𝑶𝒉 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚?' you write back with a sly smirk on your lips.

'𝘐 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯… 𝘐 𝘥𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘣𝘳𝘢𝘨 𝘰𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘐 𝘨𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘦 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘢 𝘱𝘳𝘰'

If having wet dreams about you would count, he’d definitely be considered a pro… so it’s not that much of a lie is it?

'𝒐𝒉 𝒔𝒐 𝒚𝒐𝒖’𝒓𝒆 𝒂 𝒑𝒓𝒐? 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒃𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒐𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒐𝒘' You giggle in amusement before you give him the small note.

~That girl is going to be the death of me ~

Eren thinks to himself as he noticed the bugle in his pants. Luckily none of his friends were here, seeing him embarrassed at the fact that he is fully bricked up, because of you just writing on a stupid piece of paper.

'𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘢 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘯' he writes back, trying to keep his cool to impress you.

Deep down he knew he’s scared to death right now, even if he doesn’t want to admit it…

—

"You’re still here? Get the fuck out Armin, Y/n's gonna be here in like one hour and I still need to…get ready!" Eren bursts into Armin’s room after hearing him talk on the phone.

He never wanted to impress a girl so bad in his life.

"Shut up Eren I’m talking to my mom!"

Armin puts his phone on silent as he tries to make Eren leave by pushing him away with one hand.

"Fuck no, don’t ruin this for me! You need to leave."

Armin unmutes his phone before he sighs and starts speaking again.

"Wait mom, I- I’m gonna call you back. Yes I promise I won’t drink much. Okay, yeah love you too, bye." He hangs up. "what the hell is wrong with you man?!" he glares at Eren. "Did you already pack your things?" Eren continues bugging him.

"Yes I did, now stop rushing me or I’ll tell Jean and Connie that you practiced how to put on condoms last night!" Armin threatens him, remembering the painfully awkward encounter he had with his best friend.

"Okay okay but you have to leave now, please Armin." Eren nearly begs. This is one of the most important days in his life, there’s no way he going to let anybody fuck this up.

"Fine, I was about to leave anyways." Armin sighs while rolling his eyes as he takes his backpack from his bed and puts it on before grabbing his keys from his nightstand. "Thank you man I love you!" Eren says relived, following Armin to the door.

"Yeah whatever." Armin says before walking out of the door and closing it behind him.

—

The entire hour that Eren had left, he spent by lighting up scented candles around the house and praying that he won’t mess up, not tonight.

It can’t be that hard right? He watched enough porn to know the basics, he just hopes that you won’t notice it’s his first time.

The moment the doorbell rang he almost had a stroke…. However it was nothing compared to the way his heart was beating fast when you sat down beside him on his bed after he lead you in his room.

Fake it till you make it right? That’s what Eren thought when he started kissing you, pretending that his last kiss wasn’t in middle school. Getting hard on time was much easier than he thought it would be.

He felt his heart skip a beat when your warm hand slides under his shirt as you start trailing your fingers over his abs. Your skin is so unbelievably soft, it feels like heaven. You make him take off his shirt and play with the buckle of his belt before he pulls your face closer by your chin, only leaving inches between you.

"You’re so fucking pretty." He mutters under his breath while inspecting your face.

He always wanted to have you to himself, and seeing you like this, so desperately craving his touch just drives him crazy.

Usually he feels like you hold this power over him, but you whispering quietly in his ear "I want you so bad." was a major ego boost to him.

He can’t believe that his friends almost had him convinced that he wasn’t good enough for you… ridiculous.

He takes off your dress and removes your underwear, as he watches your nipples get hard at the cool air, with a smirk on his face, before he takes out a condom from his pocket.

It’s now or never.

He gets rid of his pants and puts on the elastic rubber just like he practiced the night before.

Now that he’s so close to losing his virginity, realization hits him, killing the adrenaline that just rushed through his veins.

He feels the palms of his hands getting sweaty and his breath quicken as he tries to keep himself from panicking to much.

He takes a deep breath and moves his hardened member to your entrance before you flinch and stop him right when he’s about to put it in.

"What’s wrong?" He asked confused.

Did you notice that he’s completely inexperienced? This is so embarrassing, he should have just told you the truth when he had the chance to.

"I need to tell you something…" you shyly look up to him. "Did… Did I do something wrong?" Eren says, worried that he’s making you feel uncomfortable.

"No it’s just,… please be gentle okay?" You try to avoid eye contact before continuing.

"Don’t laugh at me but… I-I never did this before."

Eren chuckles lightly to himself.

"I’ll try to keep it down for ya."

This is going to be so much more fun than he thought it would be.

Hope you enjoyed it, I refuse to believe that there’s people out there that don’t know the song, but if you don’t I can only recommend listening to it! 🧎🏾‍♀️

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