#til 30 tags is the max

[matrixbearer2024]

"Lean left! Hard right! Hold tightly to her helm, she'll try to drown you just for spite!"

"Heave, ho! 'Til first light! She'll give a fight to all who try to claim 'The Shadow'!"

"None can tame the one the sailors call: 'The Shadow'!"

Cuz I was working on something pretty angsty with this guy and realized how sad the reunion of this AU would technically be have Aeschylus(Max) being a sailor post-weirdmaggedon joining his father and uncle on their sea adventures. The song that this post is referencing is a sea shanty by Sail North; 'Tale of The Shadow'.

As always, more lore below the cut!

Of the triplets, Aeschylus is the oldest. He came out 20 minutes before Alexander and 35 minutes before Athena. He's the one most like his father in terms of mannerism and hubris, this guy was the one I mentioned being Ford's mini-me always seeking him out whenever the old man's not around.

Aeschylus is also the most adventurous of the triplets since he's curious to a fault, again- very much like Sixer. He's also very trigger-happy and often defaults to violence when being civil with the other party is no longer working or worthwhile, no Stan didn't teach him that. It's just something that developed over time as he grew up an emotionally constipated mess.

"Violence is the language we speak when words no longer suffice."

Sometimes it makes sense he was named after a Greek dramatist, even if Ford had to pick the most ODD poet to name his eldest(technically) after-

That is how his hair normally falls(mostly, he has bangs but he swipes them up because he finds them distracting) if he's not busy slicking it back to avoid looking like Ford, there's a reason why he only starts allowing his hair to fall into it's natural state after Bill's defeat and post-Weirdmaggedon. He doesn't stop wearing contacts though since they're just more convenient than glasses, but he does have glasses and carries them on his person in case of emergency.

There are times he hides Ford's glasses when he's just messing with his old man, he and Stan sometimes have a good laugh about Poindexter being blind as a bat.

Also! The biggest reason why I can see him tagging along with the Sea Stans is due to the biggest fact that very much like Ford, once his huge objective is over and done with– he's at a loss of what to do. His dad on the other hand, wanting to make amends with his brother– suggested the Stan O' War like in canon. Ford's trying to fix his relationships one at a time to get it right. It was Stan who nudged Ford to drag Max along with them as well since he knew inherently those two needed to spend time with each other just as much as he did with his brother.

Yes Stan practically raised the triplets alongside Ford's sweetheart for the entire 30 years yours truly was in the nightmare realm. He's not their dad but he's the dad that stepped the fuck UP- even if it kinda is partially his fault that their dad ended up in that realm in the first place LOLOLOL

Sketchy for this doodle pile is here!

[onboardsorasora]

Tennis AU anyone?

I took a break from writing anything for the past week and my brain appreciated it because it started giving me cute ideas for these boys again :))) Sorry I took so long! This is inspired by my tags on this amazing post

Part 1 | Part 29 | Part 31

Part 30

Daniel walked across the desolate hospitality peppered with news crews giving updates even though it was ass o clock in the morning. They had been at the paddock all day. Literally all day. 20+ hours so far. Daniel felt like his brain was bordering mush. Manic was the only thing he knew. Delirium was up next.

Vegas had been great til this point. Amazing, truly. He'd had a few media commitments of his own, oddly enough. Someone somewhere found out about his love for the UFC and that turned into a whole thing where he was meeting Bruce Buffer and simulating a call up to the octagon. And then he got to spar with Max Holloway. It was surreal and kinda crazy and he was going to be in a video game ad???? 

The ‘opening ceremony’ had been weird and chaotic– very Vegas minus the party drugs. And overall, cold. Daniel burrowed deeper into his borrowed Alpha Tauri jacket. He hoped Pyry didn't need it back any time soon.

Max had said he could leave at 1am when the place was emptying out. But they didn't hadn't known when FP2 would actually start and he truly didn't want to leave Max all bored and alone for the whole time. It was more fun to pass the time together than Daniel trying to stay awake in their hotel room and texting Max who may or may not be napping or filming content.

Which brought him back here, he'd gone for a walk, leaving his boyfriend sprawled out on the tiny couch as he took a nap. Max needed it, because when the next practice session finally happens, he'd be in the car for ninety odd minutes. And if Daniel's brain was currently mush…he couldn't imagine having to actually focus on his job after this.

Daniel smiled and waved to Charles who was stood outside the Ferrari hospitality, chatting with Pierre. Carlos and Esteban were both fine thankfully, and the extra time was helping the teams fix the cars in time. Max had been pissed when he'd heard all that was going on. Daniel knew he said as much to the press but they truly hadn't seen the brunt of it. Not Max pacing the garage or his driver room, gesturing wildly and cursing loudly.

Either way, Daniel had been able to calm him down a bit. Surprisingly the little couch could withstand the pressure of two grown men fucking frantically on its shallow cushions. Daniel's thighs still burned a little from the impromptu exercise.

Fist bumping Genty and a few other mechanics, Daniel made his way back into the garage. He took a left down the little hallway and let himself quietly into Max's driver room. He expected to see his love still asleep, maybe. Or watching some endurance racing. 

He hadn't expected to see Max dressed up in a white race suit that looked like an Elvis costume… complete with gold belt and a red sparkly cape.

Daniel's jaw dropped in his surprise but that was quickly discarded for the loudest laugh he could ever remember making once he saw the sour look on Max's face. That was the only description of the surly pout that drew Max's cute face in.

Daniel couldn't even make it through the door before he was folded over gasping for breath. His body was wracked with those belly clenching laughs that sounded like painful spasms of a gasp. He couldn't get air into his lungs. This was how he was gonna die; on the floor in Vegas. Not in a hotel room, possibly overdosing on a good time. No he was gonna pass away from laughing so hard he suffocated.

Tell my mama I love her, because this is an unholy death.

���Daniel, you are being ridiculous, of course.” Max was unamused. Which was fine because Daniel was equally amused for the both of them.

“Maxy, you've killed me!” Daniel gasped in a ragged breath only to look up at his boyfriend again– he stood silently in the middle of the small room with his hands on his hips, the cape flared out. Daniel dissolved into helpless giggles once more. He bounced where he stood and clapped his hands. There were tears running down his face. Real tears. Max's pout only became more pronounced.

“You are overreacting, I think.” Max rolled his eyes before taking up some folded up dark fabric and chucking it at Daniel's head. That surprised him enough out of his giggles to be able to breathe and collect himself a little.

Daniel chuckled involuntarily and wiped at his eyes with the heels of his palms. His cheeks hurt, his chest hurt. He looked down at the fabric crumpled on the ground and raised his brow when he saw identical stars to Max's suit.

“Vicky figured you'd get a kick out of it. Had I known you would be killing yourself laughing, I would have told her not to bother, I think.” Max muttered, hands squarely on his hips again.

“Oh Maxy, don't be like that.” Daniel teased with a small grin. He unfolded the fabric to see that it was a black race suit, Oracle Red Bull Racing, with all the sponsors. The pattern was identical to Max's just opposite coloured complete with golden Elvis belt and glitter (because it wasn't an fia compliant race suite to be raced in). Daniel's mouth dropped open and he looked from Max's face to the suit in his hands a few times, before his eyes zeroed in on his name and flag on the hip.

He fingered the letters and swiped his thumb unconsciously over the southern cross of the flag. Sure he and Max had joked about putting him in one of Max's race suits, joked about roleplaying that Daniel was a racer even. But he truly hadn’t expected to get one of his own…with his name on it.

“You should try it on. So we match.” Max smiled at him softly and Daniel grinned back, finally stepping fully into the room and closing the door. 

Max helped him put on the race suit, complete with boots and matching fireproofs. The look Max gave him when he put that on was filed away for later. Daniel zipped up the black suit that fit him snugly and twisted and turned in the mirror– he looked good. It was surreal.

“C'mon, your laughing made us late.”

“Late for what?” They left the room together and Max flicked his cape at Daniel who cackled again. They walked into the garage, and everyone turned to look at them. Max rolled his eyes at the grins that formed on his mechanics’ faces. He was going to kill Vicky. Thankfully Checo walked out of his driver's room at the same time– in a red version of the suit, complete with white sparkly cape. That set Daniel off again, which set Micheal and Brad off and then everyone in the garage was giggling. The mutual delirium was peaking.

“Do I get a cape too?” Daniel fingered Checo's cape. A tuft of fabric hit him in the side of the head. He turned to flip Blake off, knowing it was him. The man's phone was up, no doubt taking more blackmail photos. 

The fabric opened to show a gold and black sparkly cape and Daniel eagerly put it on. He twirled this way and that before flicking his finger guns.

“Thank ya, thank ya very much.” He did in a poor imitation of Elvis’ accent. Checo giggled and Max snorted a laugh, Daniel counted it as a win.

They ended up having an impromptu photoshoot and Daniel got to live his race day dream for a little bit while Max was whisked away to do some more videos for tiktok. Daniel had kissed the scowl off of his lips. Daniel was chatting to Blake in a corner, race suit turned down at his waist like a sexy banana, when they heard that FP2 would be in an hour. That galvanized everyone into action with a sense of ‘work to be done’. Max shuffled back in quickly after that in his regular race suit and immediately went to stand with GP. Daniel and Blake watched it all happening around them like a factory production line.

“You drive your truck like shit but if Red Bull needs a PR merchant, I told Vicky she can call you.” Blake teased. Daniel snorted and threw Max's balaclava at him.

[sorrygotthesesacks]

Response to fic request (Malleus, Idia)

For @moody-b1tch, the only person who responded to my "give me two characters and I'll write a few lines of dialogue" invitation.

Which is probably a good thing, because this is ... I don't even know what this is.

Characters: Malleus, Idia, with extra bonus prompt: water

Which is included...metaphorically, I guess.

As usual, this kinda got away from me. Don't think it's good enough to post on AO3 - it's hardly good enough to post here on Tumblr - but it's 1221 words and I do love when the word count is a fun number like that.

Also: TIL that Tumblr has a limit of 30 tags per post. How did I learn this? No reason in particular.

Also also: It used to be 1221 words and then I panicked and rewrote some of it.

“Sometimes it’s better to forget. Pretend it never happened.”

“Is that how you truly feel, Shroud?”

“Gah! You look like you’re ready to incinerate me! Not that I think you’re gonna go all OP again. … Uh, you’re not, right?”

“It would be foolish to repeat such folly. Surely you, of all people, can agree.”

“Of course I agree! I’m just like. Not used to this heart-to-heart protag chat. I’m not some shounen manga hero with an 'I'm-all-fired-up!' speech, and even if I was, it’d be pretty cringe coming from me. Your guards are good at that sorta thing. Especially the big guy. He seriously likes to talk! Or Silver. He’s got that intense princely vibe.”

“Silver and Sebek have had much to say, but it is your thoughts that I am most interested in hearing.”

“Because I’m one of the SSR level problem children? You could talk to anyone else about this! Leona, he was big mad. Your guards were there; they can vouch. Or Riddle! That hothead was the first. He probably has some S tier thoughts on his experience.”

“SSR…? Shroud, I am interested in your thoughts. You hold the power to enter the underworld. To speak with those who have crossed to the other side.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa! I can open the gate, but that was a one-time thing, going down there. You saw how that turned out.”

“I did not. I was at Night Raven College, if you recall.”

“Of course you were here. After you went all berserker mode, I don’t think Charon would’ve been enough to get you to the Island of Woe.”

“You could have simply invited me.”

“Invite the great and powerful Malleus to play a sim game? Are you for real?”

“I am quite real.”

“That’s not - yeah, okay. Anyway, it’s more like a curse, the gate opening thing, and not Pumpkin Knight level cool.”

“Is it not? Shoenheit, Rosehearts, and Kingscholar all mentioned that the closer one travels to Tartarus, the colder it gets.”

“I meant it wasn’t exactly fire. Not like … dragon fire, fire. I mean, it’s not…”

“Shroud. I am merely teasing. Is that not what friends do? Lilia and the Child of Man assure me that it is.”

“Friends?”

“We have spent time together. We have shared experiences. Are you telling me that is not common with friends?”

“You sound like Ortho.”

“Your sibling is wise indeed. I understand that it was he who prevented you from using your River Lethe. Come now, Shroud, surely you can agree that at least some of those memories were to be cherished.”

(Eep! Is he serious? Even if I had an IRL trap card to flip this, could I even use one against someone as OP as him?)

“Shroud, are you unwell?”

“I’m f-fine! HP is at max. Wait, what are you doing?”

“Calling Lilia so that he may assist me in translating.”

(Gah, is he really using a synchro summon?) “You don’t need to do that!”

“It appears I cannot. My phone screen is blank. Lilia will be rather cross.”

“Your phone’s broken?”

“It happens frequently. Lilia has told me many times to be careful. My lightning has broken several phones just this semester alone.”

“I, uh, can fix it.”

“You would do that?”

“Hee hee. It just needs to withstand high electrical input. EZ PZ.”

“Lemon squeezy.”

(Did he seriously just say ‘lemon squeezy?’)

“Shroud?”

“EEP! I mean, I was just surprised to hear you say that.”

“Is that not how it goes?”

“No! You got it right! It’s just weird hearing it from the Malleus Draconia.”

“Why is that?”

“It just is! Let me see your phone. I mean, if you trust me with it.”

“Here. You cannot possibly damage it more than I have.”

“How old is this phone? I haven’t seen one of these since pre-5G.”

“Can you repair it?”

“Of course I can fix it, but it needs a serious upgrade.”

“What would you like in exchange?”

“Huh? You don’t have to give me anything!”

“Of course. Because we we are friends.”

“No, we're not!"

“Is there something about myself that causes you hesitation?”

“It’s not that. It’s not you, it’s me.”

“I, too, would like everyone to forget what happened. What I did. The lengths to which I went in order to selfishly hold on to something - to someone - who is dear to me.”

“Where is all this heart-to-heart coming from?”

“If we are to be friends, we should be honest with one another. I have learned that by watching Lilia with Diamond and Al-Asim, and by listening to Silver and Sebek. It is not an easy thing, but I must start somewhere.”

“Why are you starting with me?”

“Because we have a shared experience. This ‘SRR problem child’ status.”

“SSR.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Ah, the uh, it’s SSR, not SRR. It stands for Super Super Rare.”

“That makes what we share uncommon.”

“Yeah, you, me, and five other people. Uh, here’s your phone.”

“You are done with it already?”

“I couldn’t upgrade it more with what I have here, but the screen is fixed, and it has lightning fast internet speed. No pun intended!”

“You do get so easily flustered around me. You are an interesting man, Shroud. Oh, I see Lilia has been trying to reach me. We must do this again.”

“Uh, yeah, sure.”

“Until we meet again.”

“Yeah, kthxbai.”

“Idia? Was that Malleus Draconia who just disappeared into thin air?”

“Hey, Ortho. Yeah.”

“You have made another new friend!”

“We’re not friends! My HP is critically low after that.”

“Your heart rate is accelerated, but the rest of your vital signs are within normal ranges. And I clearly heard Malleus Draconia state that you are friends!”

“I know you mean well, Ortho, but-”

“I think he needs a friend, too.”

“Malleus Draconia? Needing a friend?”

“We have spent time together. We have shared experiences. This ‘SRR problem child’ status.”

“Idia?”

“Yeah, Ortho?”

“You’re smiling.”

“I was just thinking about the new volume of the Mew Mew Chronicles manga!”

“Yes, I remember. It arrived in the mail just this morning.”

“So of course I’m excited. It’s the only good thing that’s happened since all of this started. I’m, uh, going to the store to pick up some snacks, if you want to go with me.”

(Your heart rate and eye movement tell me otherwise, Big Brother, but I am happy to see you happy.) “Of course! I’m interested in seeing the ingredients in this new mystery flavored fruit twist that Ace Trappola and Deuce Spade were arguing over.”

“It can’t be worse than last year’s pineapple-lemon-licorice mystery flavor.”

Ortho remembered that. It had been very popular the first two weeks, with numerous reactions posted to Magicam. After that, the only person purchasing it had been Lilia Vanrouge. His eyes lit up.

“You should buy some for Malleus Draconia and Lilia Vanrouge! And Silver and Sebek Zigvolt, too! And Cater Diamond, and Rook Hunt, and…”

By the time they were done, they’d purchased a mystery flavored candy twist for all of the third year students, all of the housewardens, plus Silver and Sebek Zigvolt, Ace Trappola and Deuce Spade, the Ramshackle prefect, and Grim (especially Grim).

Ortho’s analysis of the candy indicated the primary flavors were seaweed and cinnamon, and he could hardly wait to see everyone’s reactions.

Everyone's, but especially Idia’s newest friend, Malleus Draconia.

[risaceofhearts]

TIL the max number of tags is 30

I learned this by oversharing on a post about exercise and weight loss

Good start of the day

[danifesting]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

tagged by @yekoc! Thank you for the tag!

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

72, with the largest number in hockey rpf (59)

2. What's your total ao3 word count?

646,636

3. What fandoms do you write for? Currently: F1 rpf and hockey rpf, I have also written for Marvel and The Mortal Instruments fandoms in the past

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Most of my most kudosed are F1 fics despite my half decade in hockey fandom. I wrote a lot of rarepairs there or ships that became popular but were just getting off the ground. By kudos:

live in five (which honestly surprised me a little since it's about a nonbinary character) (Daniel Ricciardo/Max Verstappen)

we're dancing in this world alone (Travis Konecny/Nolan Patrick)

maybe we did something right (Daniel Ricciardo/Max Verstappen)

pegging and other adventures (Daniel Ricciardo/Max Verstappen)

got suckered in (Carter Hart/Travis Konecny)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I didn't used to reply to comments for a long time but over the last like 2-3 years I respond to every comment I get. I tend to do it as soon as I get the ao3 email so I won't forget to do it. I like responding to comments now that I do and I enjoy engaging with the readers of my fics.

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't write angsty endings. All of my fics end happily.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I think most of them are equally happily but I think the two most hard earned ones are play til you win (in which Daniel is an alcoholic who has to quit drinking and go to therapy to get there) and unchained melody (which is set in the 1950s and involves a lot of depression and self denial and immense heartbreak before they get there). I think to me the most hard fought victories are the happiest, especially when you have to overcome great odds to get there like in these two fics.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

So, when I wrote regret (Travis Konecny/Nolan Patrick, regency omegaverse) I made a person a villain and got like 30 harassing comments from the same person about making him the villain. He deserved to be the villain.

I also got some not so nice comments on maybe we did something right because Max says of course a lot which honestly, if anything, I undersold it compared to real life.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes! I think at least half if not more of my fics contain smut. I actually enjoy the challenge of writing it. I've written a lot of different kinds but largely it's pretty vanilla. My favorite smut to write is definitely f/f though since it's the kind I obviously know that most about.

10. Do you write crossovers?

I once wrote a Mitch Marner/Shawn Mendes fic for a dear friend who was going through a hard time. It's very cute.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge, no

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Another one where if I have, I don't know about it. People are totally welcome to translate my fic though! I would be quite flattered.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! I co-wrote a rather long soulmate trope subversion fic with a friend for hockey big bang one year and I think we did a great job marrying our writing styles. The fic is where the light went (Nico Hischier/Travis Konecny/Nolan Patrick)

14. What's your all-time favorite ship? In F1, it's far and away Maxiel. For hockey rpf it's a 3-way tie between TK/Nolan, Jack/Nico, and Mitch/Dylan. I'm Marvel, easily Stucky.

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Sadly, my Nico/Nolan college gymnastics au. I only have the first couple of pages written and I think the idea is brilliant (it's rule 63 and in it Nolan missed out on Olympic gold in a tie break scenario like Raisman and Mustafina) but I think it's never going to happen, especially now that I'm writing hockey less than I used to.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Strong research, and setting a time and place that is very grounded when I write AUs (particularly those that are set in the past)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I think I don't always keep to the fandom general consensus of characterization very well but I'm not sure that's truly a weakness.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Absolutely not. I only speak English really at all and Google is a very poor translator. I don't want to get another language wrong and I don't really think it serves to move the story along if the other party wouldn't understand it anyway.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

A long deleted Welcome to Nightvale fic that was only 800 words long and was deleted 6 months after I posted it on ao3 because it wasn't very good.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

It is 100% unchained melody. I think it's lush and beautiful and rich storytelling that's very grounded in the time and place (late 1950s, Winnipeg) it's written and I don't think I will ever write anything as wonderful as that. A close second though is play til you win which I think has some similar qualities in terms of groundedness in time and place (mid 2000s, central New Jersey).

Tagging: @thewindowatkirkland @fourmula1 @33max and @nobrakesdown

[fairytalefragments]

✦ hello everyone! im very sorry abt the longer then expected break, but im doing much better now so im excited to get back to posting! and i also apologise for the extra long wait but i am going to be making a few changes however

mostly just that im gonna start posting edits on a queue now! it'll be 5 posts a day, but for some reason this style of posting like i was doing before my big breaks just seems to work better for my brain so yeah! asks will still be answered but posts won't be linked in them anymore, bc of this anyone with custom anon tags will have the requests themselves tagged now (im going to go back and do thus retroactively too) as well as actually being mentioned in the body of the post; i.e. saying "for 🌼 anon", instead of just "for anonymous"

im gonna give myself some time to fill up the queue and work through the backlog of requests, so I'm going to start posting requests again next monday, and the inbox will stay open til then even if it continues to be overfull. i have also increased the inbox max requests to 30!

but anyway, thank you all so much for the continued support and being so patient with me, im wishing you all the best! 💙

[chilope]

I posted 4,979 times in 2022

That's 2,463 more posts than 2021!

555 posts created (11%)

4,424 posts reblogged (89%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@triviallytrue

@sapphicdisclosures

@dingdongyouarewrong

@heat--end

@existentialvibeology

I tagged 1,400 of my posts in 2022

#yeah - 24 posts

#me - 22 posts

#neyenz - 13 posts

#:( - 11 posts

#:) - 10 posts

#sigh - 9 posts

#literally - 7 posts

#lol. lmao. - 6 posts

#god - 6 posts

#hmm - 5 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#'no i can kiss girls because im so comfortable with my heterosexuality! thats why i joke about being in love with women! im just so straight

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

when i first started following yorick i thought "its a little uncomfortable to insist that a man who identifies as straight is actually gay just because hes on tumblr" but i get it now

42 notes - Posted August 30, 2022

#4

yo whats yudkowskys deal tho

86 notes - Posted April 15, 2022

#3

she e on my e til i cummings

109 notes - Posted June 29, 2022

#2

a series of events

my experiment relies on the use of liquid nitrogen

we ran out of liquid nitrogen last week

we were supposed to get more delivered this morning

one of the delivery trucks left with all of the specialized tank dollies and would not be able to return until the end of the day

our delivery gets delayed until tomorrow

in order to not waste an entire day we decide to borrow some from an affiliated lab

on the way there it starts raining

we aquire the liquid nitrogen, stored in our small transport dewar

transport dewar is not pressurized, meaning the nitrogen gases off as it sits

nitrogen has no smell and is lethal if too much is inhaled so we store it in the trunk

we make it 95% of the way back to the lab before taking a turn a little too hard, causing the dewar to tip over and begin draining hard enough that we can hear it in the cabin

beloved coworker pulls over immediately so i can jump out and put it upright before we lose all of it or the trunk of her car freezes

she happened to have accidentally pulled into the entrance to the fire station

i jump out at max speed to minimize chances of getting hit by a fire truck

we are parked inside of a 2 inch deep puddle

i am wearing toms

i open the trunk

it is filled with nitrogen gas and extremely cold

the dewar fell onto the handle, meaning i had to grab the tank in order to right it

it is so cold i burn myself

we make it back to the lab without further incident

my shoes are soaking wet, but my boss always has 18 pairs of rubber sandals in his office so i figure ill just put on his sandals and put my shoes in the oven to dry

he took all of his sandals home on friday for some fucking reason

fuck it, ill just go barefoot and sit in the break room

put my shoes in the oven

wait 30 minutes

retrieve shoes

they are still soaking wet and now the oven smells like feet

154 notes - Posted August 1, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

she was a boy, he was a girl, can i make it any more obvious?

214 notes - Posted August 22, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[iwasagod]

Please note: This section will be updated from time to time.

Name: Kaz (or Kazu, Kazuki)

Age: 30+

Birthday: November 20th

Time Zone: GMT-3

Mostly Active: Before noon and between 5 PM and 8 PM. Occasionally, I'm up til late hours.

Preferred writing style: Novella (5+ paragraphs) and Multi-para (min 3 paragraphs max 5).

The tag I track for anything OOC is right this way.

[fuelinthetank]

Please note: This section will be updated from time to time.

Name: Kaz (or Kazu, Kazuki)

Age: 30+

Birthday: November 20th

Time Zone: GMT-3

Mostly Active: Before noon and between 5 PM and 8 PM. Occasionally, I'm up til late hours.

Preferred writing style: Novella (5+ paragraphs) and Multi-para (min 3 paragraphs max 5).

The tag I track for anything OOC is right this way.

[bloodstainedstar]

Please note: This section will be updated from time to time.

Name: Kaz (or Kazu, Kazuki)

Age: 30+

Birthday: November 20th

Time Zone: GMT-3

Mostly Active: Before noon and between 5 PM and 8 PM. Occasionally, I'm up til late hours.

Preferred writing style: Novella (5+ paragraphs) and Multi-para (min 3 paragraphs max 5).

The tag I track for anything OOC is right this way.

[sharksa-shivers]

Nucleo dialog dump because i 💚you radiation boyo

Coworker: (pinches nose, annoyed)Nathan, aren't you in your 30s? Why are you painting your nails and believing in childish things like aliens? What's wrong with you?

Nucleo:(glances over, sighs before turning around and responding) You're bout 48 right? Why are you already such a stick in the mud? Kids don't call you anymore do they? Ever wonder why that is? Cuz i can take a couple guesses…

Coworker:(he kind of sneers, obviously Nucleo hit a nerve, we see Nucleo kind of smirk, tries to rebuttal back)You're one to talk! You don't even have kids!!!! 30 with nothing!!! No wife, no house, no kids, nothing!!!!

Nucleo:(amused)Cuz i have other priorities…Like finding aliens and collecting metal albums cuz that's what i wanna do…(shrugs)I mean…I'm happy and you seem miserable so i mean, i must be doing something right, yknow? --------- Nucleo:(Frustrated as hell, driving The Trio derps back to The Campsite)What is it with you kids and getting yourselves into insane trouble all the time huh??? Literally i just…(inhales and exhales, collecting himself, annoyed)Look…I literally just like…I just want to have a normal Thursday afternoon at work. Do my job, help people, get paid, all that good shit…I get off at 5, wanna order take out sushi, pick it up, go home and then watch shitty cheesey alien movies from the 80's okay? That's all i want…That's it! But fuckin…Everyday, it's something!!! You get yourselves into something or Orange drags me into something or just SOMETHING!!!! IT'S ALWAYS SOMETHING!!!!!!!

(It's quite til Max speaks, being a smartass)

Max:(immediately wrecks this merman)…Why do you agree to do all of Orange Hair's crap then? Is it cuz you just…Like being her bitch or…?

Nucleo:(he slams on the breaks and just sits there, The Trio derps all just looking nervously at him and each other…Nucleo just looks like he's about to fucking snap, quite as he just anxiety laughs)…I…We're moving on. No more fucking talking. Shut up. ------ Nucleo:(enraged)No???? What the hell???? Orange, they're kids, they're teenagers, they DON'T need to be doing this!!!!

OH:(shrugs)I mean…Max likes it so…

Nucleo:(huffs out a breath, annoyed and irritated)Max likes alot of shit he shouldn't like, he tried to hack into multiple bank accounts the other day…

Max:(just overhearing)YOU GUYS KNOW THAT I CAN HEAR YOU RIGHT? AND THAT I'D 1000% DO THAT AGAIN???

Nucleo:(yelling back)STAY OUT OF THIS, GOD!!! (Back at OH, angry)You can't just be forcing these kids to do all this dangerous stuff, they should be at the movies and fucking around at the mall, not delivering LITERAL BOMBS ACROSS TOWN FOR YOU!!!!!!! ---------- (Tis the group trip with The Trio and Nucleo where he's tagging along to help with some shit. Max and Kristy are talking about horror movies and shit while Sharky's focusing on driving and Nucleo's just scrolling on his phone.)

Kristy:(she pops over the seat a bit, curious)Wait actually, Hey Nucleo, what would happen to you if you got bit by a zombie? Like…Would it actually do anything to you with your disease immunitys or…?

Nucleo:(he sits there, thinking, befuddled)…I…I actually don't know, huh…(sits a moment, thinking)…….Well, i guess that's another paranoia to add to the list. I'd like to say like…I wouldn't get infected but i honestly have 0 clue so????

Max:(gazing at Kristy)Ah yeah, nice, ya broke the man by asking…

Kristy:(awkward)I wasn't trying to!!! I just was curious!!!!

Nucleo:(trying to break it up, a bit mentally construed from the question now)It's fine! It's fine! That actually is a really great question, i just have no idea what the answer is, uhhhh, let's hope we never find out the answer either, huh??? ------------- (Having a convo, probs more early series)

Kristy:(curious)Wait, how old are you Nucleo?

Nucleo:(thinks a moment) 30…No, wait, 31 now. Damnit!!! I'm getting old, can't remember shit anymore…

Sharky:(pipes up)How is 30 old when you literally live like 10,000 years or some crazy shit cuz you're a mer?

Nucleo:(gazes annoyed, a bit exaggerated)Yknow what??? Leave me alone!!!! I don't need that crazy lifespan thrown in my face again!!! I already got enough worries with my life and having to live that long isn't one i wanna talk about right now!! -------- Nucleo is a drummer metal head, a medical scientist of some sort, hardcore believes in aliens, helps The Trio derps, puts up with OH and is one of the main people who will stand up to her, helps his mom regularly with different things and is a merman who has disease immunitys and poison immunitys, idk what else you'd want in an oc honestly... Also his "human" name is Nathanal Raymond Anderson (Cuz humans are gonna look at you sideways if you have a name like...Nucleotitan lol...) I have more shit with him i wanna share so get ready for that lol, i love him so much, i swearrrrrrrrrrrr lolololol

There he is, my son that is literally older then my ass cuz he's in his 30s, here he is lol

[gravegroves]

who's billy's favorite child? can't be max: siblings (half or no) never count. def can't be lucas (not sure if he's actually racist bc at first i just thought that he was a gorgeous yet borderline abusive & controlling brother who didn't want her hanging with ANYONE esp if it cut into his time. even as a bipoc i didn't take it too seriously til i saw tags in fanfics. don't know if you've ever/would like to address it) i don't see lucas,billy getting along. plus hes w max. he might like erica🤔🤔

A lot of people write Billy as having a really good connection with Will (and I can totally see why, they're amazing parallels to one another), or even with El, because of their experience, but I very often headcanon Billy as thinking Dustin is fucking hilarious. Once they get over any animosity and start getting along for Steve's sake, they both like to snark and prod at each other more or less good naturedly. Dustin challenges Billy constantly (be it intellectually or in games) and Billy is all too fucking eager to accept because he's too competitive for his own good. And I love the idea of Dustin being mortified to learn that Billy is actually well versed in scifi and fantasy (what abused kid DIDN'T read books to escape their reality?) and so does remarkably well in DnD.

(And to briefly touch on your other point: I don't like to shy away from the fact that Billy did some very messed up shit, especially as a white person I don't feel like I get to make that call. Even if his attack on Lucas wasn't racially motivated, attacking a kid is never a good look. Neil is an abusive and homophobic piece of shit, I don't think it's a stretch to assume he's a racist as well. The fact that Billy seems to be responsible for and punished because of Max, leads me to believe that Billy himself probably doesn't give a shit, if he could completely separate himself from Max and let her do whatever she wanted he would, but he can't, because Billy knows exactly what would happen to him if Neil ever found out he let Max hang out with Lucas.

I don't write about this often, though. I feel like it's easy to slip and unintentionally write Lucas's family as having to be responsible for educating Billy somehow or to completely ignore what it must be like for a black person to live 20 minutes away from Marion (a town known for horrific lynchings in the 30's) or just Indiana in general, which still had sundown towns at that time. I do have several WIP fics currently in my gDoc folder where Billy confronts that side of himself and gives Lucas a sincere apology after a shit ton of therapy.)

But for the same reason I think Billy is tickled pink by Dustin, I think Billy would love Erica. She's the blueprint man, she's the ACTUAL I'm too cool to be hanging with these nerds energy Billy has been trying to exude his entire teenage life. Erica obviously thinks Billy is as big a nerd as the rest of them.

[horriblehs]

I posted 11,097 times in 2021

3863 posts created (35%)

7234 posts reblogged (65%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 1.9 posts.

I added 595 tags in 2021

#jae jae - 107 posts

#maneskin - 78 posts

#k stfu - 66 posts

#duplicity - 66 posts

#ethan torchio - 65 posts

#my love - 50 posts

#lovely nia - 49 posts

#freya my queen - 40 posts

#mackie baby - 38 posts

#k's 400 celebration - 36 posts

Longest Tag: 128 characters

#someone come and love on me im so sad right now for no reason at all i have so much doubt that its eating me from the inside out

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

nsfw headcanons with ethan torchio

a/n: @maybanksslut peer pressured me into posting this so enjoy sluts.

this man is a a hard dom idc what yall say.

i feel like hes very strict too.

omfg his hands- they're always on you.

when you tease him or try to make him jealous

girlie prepared to be destroyed

he has this like silent but angry look when you try to tease him/ make him jealous. its like a 'ohhh you're in trouble' look

he like looks you up and down nostrils flared and then if you make eye contact he's marching over there and taking you in the bathroom.

definitely the type to use your panties to gag you.

"shhh cucciolo you dont want anyone to hear us now do you?"

and just continues to thrust into and hit your g-spot every time.

i think he goes feral over tears.

like if he's overstimulating you and you start crying-

hes going to go faster.

i think he has a skirt kink

bc like easy access

he mixes between degradation and praise if you're into it.

"such a good girl taking me like the slut you are"

eye contact = feral ethan.

i think he has like a Sir kink.

"yes what baby?"

"yes sir"

spankings lots of spankings if you're a brat.

lowkey a brat tamer.

he's not afraid to spank you til' you cant sit. and then watch you explain to your mutual friends why you cant sit.

i feel like he wouldn't be done unless you're shaking or screaming his name.

scratches on his back?? go ahead

he will mark you up with Hickes.

bc everyone needs to know you're his

See the full post

286 notes • Posted 2021-07-23 19:21:20 GMT

#4

more dating hc's

b.h x reader.

a/n, hey besties! this was queued bc ill be busy with family most of the day bc its the fourth of july! so here's a little gem for you all.

once everyone knows you guys are dating more guys try to hit you. and it pisses him off.

he loves when you wear his clothes it makes him horny

he loves resting his chin on your head.

you guys workout together (so like jogs and stuff)

piggy backs

he carries your stuff to your class for you

you guys talk about your day so far and classes bc you only share one class with billy.

comparing hands. and he'll purposely instigate it.

"babe I wonder how small your hand is"

little shit purposely leaves his stuff in your bathroom (deodorant, lotion, hair products ect)

he smiles a lot when your around him

ruffling his hair a lot.

he'll literally die for you and you'd die for him.

lots of going to drive in movies.

and having sex in the car

showers together.

you also being a little shit and leaving a lip gloss in his bathroom.

he uses your soap in the shower because it smells better and it smells like home.

beating Max in packman at the arcade and billy cheering you on.

going to the movie theater when star court opened.

you'd show him all the special places you've found.

you'd show him a pond with a lot of frogs.

at night the fire flys come out and you guys watch them fly without a care in the world.

looking at the stars.

and then going to the pond frequently.

See the full post

311 notes • Posted 2021-07-04 21:30:44 GMT

#3

dumb bunny r.l

summary: you're remus' dumb bunny.

warnings: smut, d/s dynamics, name calling. (lmk if I need to add more)

a/n this is short! sorry!

navi

There you were, tied to the bed by a very irritated lycanthrope. Stripped of all your clothes and a sweating, crying ‘embarrassing mess’ as he’d call it. Remus delivered another painful slap to your clit.

“Please, Remmy please I’ll be y’good girl” you cry as he delivered another slap to your clit.

“Only good girls get rewards, you know this bunny”

He looks at you with a certain disappointment that makes your lip tremble and your eyes water. You just wanted to be his good girl. But all the cries and blubbers in the world will make up for breaking his most important rule. Don’t touch yourself.

“Now, I’m going to ask you this again. Why did you touch yourself?” He questions you.

“Because I wanted your attention Rem”

“Well, you have it now, bunny”

Remus steps back from the bed to inspect you, lipstick smudged, hair messy, and mascara running down your face. Doe eyes looking back at him, begging to cum.

His thumb finds your clit for a moment and goes right away. Like he changed his mind or something.

you squirm around trying to get some friction, crying and begging him for anything.

“You really think that’s going to work? You really are a dumb bunny, huh?” another slap delivered to your clit.

“Dumb bunnies don’t get to cum, darling”

updated taglist

@just-a-smol-spoon @itsmentalillness

375 notes • Posted 2021-08-23 03:04:27 GMT

#2

Dating billy Hargrove hc's

navi

so hes basically an asshole to everyone but you

his eyes immediately soften when he see's you

he always calls you pretty. even if you're wearing a paper bag.

lots of kisses

I feel like he loves watching you do your makeup. idk why I just think that's something that he does.

he likes when you play with his hair

favorite cuddling position: laying on your stomach

hes somehow awesome at planning dates????

forehead kisses

wearing his jean jacket (or the brown one)

he takes you on a lot of picknicks especially if you like nature

hes so smitten with you its not even funny.

his laugh is contagious

if your ticklish...he'll tickle you until you pee.

I feel like he'd give you one of his rings to wear at school.

(especially if you have anxiety)

he's just the softest when he's around you

he's whipped-

like you could wake him up at 3am to go get you some food or some shit and he'll get it.

lots of hand holding (even if you have sweaty palms)

you always sit in his lap at parties.

angry sex, jealous sex, car sex you name it, this man has a sex drive.

sneaking into your room at night bc he missed you or his dad hurt him again.

you'd both get life guard jobs

you try to keep him out of trouble

you bond a lot with Max

like you two would paint each others nails and talk about what the boys were up to and all that jazz

lots of late night cuddles.

See the full post

462 notes • Posted 2021-07-04 05:17:16 GMT

#1

quiet, the marauders

summary: you just can't seem to be quiet

WARNINGS: sexual content, cockwarming, oral (f receiving), degradation, voyeurism, pet names (bunny, poppet, baby, puppy), slight edging, unprotected penetration (wrap it before you tap it bozo's). lmk if I need to add more

navigation

You were in the library with your boyfriends sitting on one of their laps, squirming because he felt so good.

“Stop moving poppet, you don’t want us to get in trouble do you?” Remus said, planting your hips with his hands.

“I-I can’t, daddy feels so good,” you whimper out.

“Tell her to shut it, Moony, I’m trying to work here,” James says from under her skirt.

“M’ trying to Prongsy but it’s like she never shuts up”

“M’sorry daddy ill be quiet”

“Good, you were getting annoyed over there with your whimpers just because Remmy gave you a sharp thrust. It’s pathetic, really,” Sirius stated, looking up from his essay.

James soon got back to work after Sirius’ statement. His tongue slid between the underside of your clit and you almost screamed, but you covered your mouth so no one heard anything. Remus pried your hand away from your mouth.

“None of that puppy, you need to learn how to control yourself, that’s what your daddies are here for baby to teach you how to do things right”

Remus’s sharp thrusts got more frequent, hitting the right spot in you.

“C’mon poppet, you haven’t even started your homework,” Sirius said, annoyed.

“Yeah, we taught you better than that baby” James’ muffled voice gave all the right vibrations and you were almost on the edge. But he slowed down, and Remus handed you a quill.

“Better get to work, bunny. Because we aren’t even close to being done with you”

taglist: @amixedwitch @randomoutsiders @chaoticbabyenergy @wolfstar-lb@the-young-and-forgotten @evesbiggestf4n @itsmentalillness @just-a-smol-spoon

816 notes • Posted 2021-09-18 02:05:28 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[yuvon-writes-letters]

I posted 374 times in 2021

236 posts created (63%)

138 posts reblogged (37%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 0.6 posts.

I added 1,660 tags in 2021

#yuvon writes letters - 348 posts

#duskwood letter game - 341 posts

#duskwood - 232 posts

#duskwood jake - 131 posts

#domino - 124 posts

#dominos-diary-dw - 120 posts

#duskwood game - 113 posts

#duskwood everbyte - 113 posts

#the entity - 73 posts

#lis - 65 posts

Longest Tag: 70 characters

#it's not a puzzle if you can just logic or guilt her into answering xd

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

[The paper has an odd texture, like a flower petal. And are the words written in blood?]

I do not forget.

Newborns, Genesis, ReMorse, Troublemaker, Yu, Domino, all you who work against me.

Rainer, Liska, Jessica, Jake, Max, Skie, Stalker, Phil, Jewel, MJ, Amelia. Goldie, Moira, Silver, Sweetly Sleeping, Walker, Darling’s Venom, Darling’s Revenant, Melody.

You who are silent, and read without care.

You.

You will regret your actions and your inactions.

Innocence and survival are antonyms.

10 notes • Posted 2021-11-26 16:17:35 GMT

#4

(I’m not collecting any personal data, and there’s only two questions. Please answer, it actually might change the course of coming events.)

13 notes • Posted 2021-09-14 03:03:58 GMT

#3

Shit I need to figure out

(The handwriting is Yuvon’s; there is little way from handwriting alone to tell which Yuvon wrote this.)

Rai’s/Walker’s/yes/Skie’s(? Is she there too or no?) status

Flower

Molding infant (ReMorse) domains; 3/4, 4 is ???

Venn’s domain (bonds? manipulation?? isolation?)

Tell writers (static)’s title somehow or oth did you just fuckin censor me Inky

Who is/was Dream?

Are less frequent writers dead?? With Flower running around plus Venn and general entity bullshit :/ :(

Where’s Jake? Hasn’t written in ages :/

Venn’s bs with memories and stuff

Voices :/

Glowy thing

Help from entity made (static): who? Met already or no? Oh fuck off (static) WOULD YOU STOP CENSORING ME ALREADY FFS NO ONE IS READING THIS

Drama with the whole Troublemaker thing plus Jake :(

Get the ring/bracelet/magnet back (and fuck you for taking them asshole >:( )

Better hiding place

Inky/Dream connection: how connected? How does it work?

How did Rennie become Rennie? Was human, how does it work? Can I rep

Why ME? Why has Venn targeted ME since I was tiny? Why did (static) kidnap

You’re planning on making this a letter. Aren’t you, Inky. That’s why you’re censoring this.

Fine. Go ahead. But if you do, I’m telling everyone what Dream did.

(The ink turns unnaturally dark, to the point it seems to suck in the light around it, for two sentences.) Would you like to try my patience, sweetling? 🤭

Yes.

(The ink darkens.) Bold words. Remind me, what was it you feared again? Fire, wasps, and spiders, was it? 😊

You’re bluffing.

(The ink darkens.) Oh? How so?

You’re saving your energy to fight off Venn and Flower. You’re not going to waste power (there’s a bloodstain covering up the rest of the sentence.)

(The ink darkens.) Would you like to continue to test my patience, sweetling? Or will you be defiant ‘til you pass out from blood loss? 😊

Yeah, I figured you’d been too nice lately. Trying to suck up to the newcomers, right? I saw the letter where you addressed Jessy. Watching you pretend to be friendly really takes me back to the first time you showed your face. Remember that? Remember alienating an audience member through your bullshit and mockery? (Another bloodstain covers up the other sentences. You don’t need to see those particular sentences, I think.)

(The ink darkens.) And she’s unconscious. Stubborn as always, sweetling 🤭

Do take care, sweetlings reading 😊 Don’t get yourselves killed, now. I require you all to be alive and capable of reading.

(The letter tucks itself in the paper clip with the others.)

14 notes • Posted 2021-11-30 03:31:13 GMT

#2

Axh'h Ypzt, eatpht htcs p cdit lwtctktg xi xh rdcktcxtci udg ndj. Iwtgt xh hdbtiwxcv X bpn ctts pskxrt dc.

Sincerely,

Jake

14 notes • Posted 2021-08-01 11:35:50 GMT

#1

To whoever reads this...

Hi! My name’s (crossed out and scribbled over) whoops, call me Yuvon. Our mutual hacker friend would be upset if I gave out my real name, even in a format like this, ahaha.

Well, no. Not upset. Just disappointed. Which is worse, really, what with the whole

Ugh. I’m sorry. Apparently, my ability to ramble about everything but what’s important when I’m nervous carries over to physical mail.

Anyhow… like I said. Call me Yuvon. Or some nickname, if you like, I don’t mind. I’m writing this because I have a small issue. First, some background: yeah, I’m that chick who supposedly kidnapped a girl I’d never met before from across an ocean, somehow. No, it really doesn’t make sense to me either. Water under the bridge, though, it’s whatever. If you’re the person who should be reading this, I think you have an idea of who the real kidnapper is, or at least as much of an idea as I do.

Now. Onto the fun bit. I sorta freaked out a bit after that video of Jessy and Thomas getting away from the MWAF, like most sane people. So, once they got to one of their homes (I didn’t think it’d be smart to ask which they went to) I talked to the both of them. Everyone was shaken, but ultimately alright. I was so proud of Jessy, actually, given everything she’s had to go through rece

Anyhow. So. Everything settled down, and I finally let out one of the biggest sighs of relief of my life. We weren’t out of the metaphorical woods yet, sure, but Jessy and Thomas were fine, Jake was fine, Cleo and Lilly were fine, Phil was in jail but not actively dying, Dan was acting a little weird but fine, (this section is crossed out so violently that there’s a tear in the paper)

And now I’m in this… I don’t really know? There are dark woods all around, but there’s one of those invisible barrier thingies (good job Englishing Yuvon  -_- ) like in RPGs and other free-roam-ish games which keeps me from actually wandering very far into them. Then again, I haven’t tried feeling around the edges yet… hmm. I tried climbing, and I did actually get close to the top of a tree, but it was just trees everywhere as far as the eyes could see when I got up there. Then I came down the hard way.

Side note, injuries don’t actually happen here, apparently. I should’ve at least broken my wrist in that fall, but instead it just feels like a bruise with the ambition to be a broken bone, but can only manage it on the pain level rather than the permanence or functionality level. Only issue is, it’s my left wrist, and I’m left-handed. So, sorry if my handwriting’s illegible, I guess.

I also don’t really seem to need to eat or drink, since I think I’ve been here over a day without food or water and been fine. Or maybe it just feels like one, I don’t know. There’s no day or night here, my internal clock is screaming at my poor brain right now.

“So, if you’re trapped there, how are you sending me this letter?”

Good not-at-all-invented question, definitely-not-me. Let me tell you the few things I have with me. One, the clothes I was wearing since I was plopped in here, obviously. Two, my phone. Three, a pen and an (unsharpened!) pencil. The pencil is completely useless, by the way. When I say unsharpened, I mean came out of the factory unsharpened. End is completely flat.

Four, what so far seems to be an endless supply of paper and envelopes.

Five, a little note. Summarized, it said, “Write a letter, put it in an envelope, and someone going through the same Duskwood case as you (but maybe a little different) will see it. Maybe someone might even send you a response, maybe.”

Paraphrasing, but you get my point.

So that’s what I’m doing. Writing a small letter and sending it off into the aether in hopes that literally anything will happen. My hopes aren’t high. I’m pretty sure the note was a lie, anyhow.

Anyhow, if you read this… send me something. Anything. Or don’t, it’s fine, I didn’t mean to pressure you or anything. If you’re really like me, that means you get enough of that already, right?

—Yuvon

(When you finish reading, a paper clip materializes on the page.)

21 notes • Posted 2021-06-13 17:05:41 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

(Quite the journey it's been, hasn't it? This letter game would literally not be possible without all of you. So, thank you all, and have a wonderful rest of your year :D)

[lift-for-dead]

Lifting problems

repost bc the og was huge

#1 when you pick up 2 of the same palletes along with some other palletes to trick employees but when you leave you realize you concealed two of the same palletes and not one of each 

#2 when you lift some jeans or a shirt without trying it on and when you try it on at home it’s not the right size 

#3 when you’re on summer vacation and far away from home and you have no space for all the shit you lifted 

#4 when you get home from a huge haul and you are trying to think of a way to explain to your parent where all the shit came from if they ask you about it 

#5 when you don’t have a car , and you have no money for a taxi and can’t call your parents cause they’ll know you lifted , so you have to carry heavy ass bags of all the shit you’ve lifted and take the bus or walk home 

#6 when employees ask you how many clothes you have before you go in the fitting room and you accidentally say the actual amount of shit you have instead of saying less the amount 

#7 when a employee talks to you and ask if you need help and you just act weird on accident cause you know you didn’t come there to buy anything 

#8 when you leave a store and you see employees coming towards the exit and get anxious but they aren’t coming for you 

#9 when you leave a store and see like 3 cop cars past you you get scared but when they leave its like wow you just passed a criminal lol 

#10 when you plan on filling a bag full of shit up from a store and you try to conceal in a fitting room and the employee counts out all of your stuff

Feel free to add on guys

#11 When you grab the item NEXT to the item you actually want, and don’t realize you got the wrong thing til you’re home

#12 When you go lift something that you needed, like a dress for something then lift tons of shit BUT that dress and don’t realize until you’re home.

#13 When your magnet only works on certain tags that most stores don’t use

#14 when there’s customers in your blind spot so you can conceal

#15 clear backpacks being part of your aesthetic

#16 having to total hauls

#17 having your lifted makeup break every time because the lord knows u have sinned

#18 Getting home from a haul and not knowing where to put all your cute shit

klept-hoe #19 talking to an SA that’s really nice but you already have shit in your bag and by then it’s too late

#20 When you get home and realize you stole the tester.

#21 When you trying to act cool even though your bag is stuffed to the max and you’re afraid it looks like you’re hiding a small child in there as you hobble out of the store.

#22 When you seriously question how your family just can’t somehow spidey-sense that you walked out of the house this morning wearing a four hundred-dollar face, courtesy of various high-end makeup stores.

#23 when the helpful customer service that normal people find friendly makes you want to throw the SA out the window because how dare you accidentally prevent me from stealing from your store #24 needing a magnet

#25 accidentally dropping or breaking an item you plan to lift and everyone and their mama turns to look at you

#26 accidentally leaving your lifting tools at home and not realizing it until you’ve already driven to a store two hours away in a different city

#27 accidentally making eye contact with a camera

#28 doing the “pretend to be on a phone call” trick to exit the store but accidentally putting the back of your phone to your ear instead of the screen (which is either turned off or shows just your home screen with no calls)

swee-tfil #29 when they ask for your name to write on the dressing room door and you ask “wHy ..?” all sus and then continue to give them your real name

intent2steal #30 when you wanna lift but you can’t be asked to go outside

#31 when you planned a big massive heist then your magnet fell out your bra and rolled into the river thames

samlifting #32 When the employees get sus of you so come to ask If you need any help and you struggle to say anything then come up with the most stupidest shit

My addition: #33 When you only ever go out with family so you have to conceαl around people every time you llft, it has to be floor conceαled, & body conceαled.

[sheliesshattered]

Fic meme

I was tagged by @primarybufferpanel​ -- thank you darling, this was a ton of fun to do!

This got a bit long, so I’ll put the people I’m tagging here at the top:  @claraaoswald​, @ambitious-witch​, @someillplanetreigns​, and @junoinferno​, if you feel like playing!

My AO3, my old non-updating fanfiction.net

Fandoms I’ve made fanworks for: Oh lord. I’m only going to count fanfiction that has actually been posted, but if I tried to count up every fandom that I’d started writing for and left unfinished fragments languishing on various harddrives and googledocs over the years, it’d be at least double this list. I have two pseuds on AO3, with the fics roughly organized by fandoms that I post about on this Tumblr account (sheliesshattered) and fandoms that pre-date my time on Tumblr that I don’t post about very much (glasscannon). Putting all the fandoms together in one alphabetized list:

Black Sails - 5 Doctor Who - 8 Firefly/Serenity - 1 Game of Thrones - 1 The Hobbit - 1 The Hunger Games - 1 Iron Man - 2 Law & Order: Criminal Intent - 1 Mad Max - 2 Once Upon A Time - 1 Poldark - 3 Star Wars - 3 Twilight - 7 The West Wing - 1

Number of fics: 38, including a big unfinished epic that I never moved over from ff.n, and don’t plan to unless I finish it someday.

Fics I spent more time on: I’m not even quite sure how to measure this. I’m a slow writer, and a single story can easily hold my attention for years at a time, or be something I return to when there isn’t a newer fandom temporarily consuming me. I don’t tend to keep track of how many hours I put into a fanfic, though. The unfinished epic I mentioned is probably near the top of that list, and was a huge part of my life from 2009 to 2013. Other contenders would be the All Hands series (written with PBP!), and Truth Universally Acknowledged, particularly if you include all the massive world-building that went into that one. 

But really probably the one I’ve poured the most hours into, between research and writing, is a Doctor Who epic that hasn’t yet seen the light of day, called Home The Long Way ‘Round. Because I have such a habit of starting long stories and then not finishing them, I’m making myself get that one completely done before I post any of it to AO3, so I don’t have anything to show for it yet, but I’ve put a ton of time into it over the last five years or so. Hopefully someday I’ll actually get to share it. :)

Fics I spent less time on: Like I said, I’m a very slow writer, so any time I can turn out a story in a matter of days I’m just absolutely shocked. I wrote The Message over the course of about 24 hours, which is probably the fastest I’ve ever finished anything in my life ever, lol.

Longest fic: The All Hands series is sitting at 126,800 words, and PBP and I have more finished for it that we’re hoping to post soon-ish. The unfinished epic made it to almost 119,000 words before I ran out of steam. Truth Universally Acknowledged racked up about 54,000 words before my co-writer and I took a break from it, and probably triple that in world-building bibles and timelines, etc. On the works-in-progress side of things, Home The Long Way ‘Round is sitting at about 40,000 words currently and only about a third of the way done, and the For As Long As We Get series is at 21,000 words between what I’ve posted and what I’m still working on, and will definitely continue to grow.

Shortest story: 10 Seconds, at 208 words. Also one of the very first fanfics I ever finished and posted online.

Most hits: Truth Universally Acknowledged, by like a factor of 20 vs anything else I have on AO3. It’s the only time I’ve written for the main pairing in an active fandom (tho my purview in the co-writing was more on the secondary pairing), and that translated to a stupidly large number of hits. Fanfiction.net doesn’t count hits the same way, but the unfinished epic is sitting at about 3500 favs.

Most kudos: Setting The Stuns’ls, the first in the All Hands series -- which is SHOCKING considering that’s a tiny rowboat of a fandom, for a non-canon background pairing that has literally about 30 seconds of shared screentime, and the two romantic leads don’t so much as kiss over the course of 94,000 words (longing looks, significant hand-touches, mutual pining, definitely, but kissing, not so much).

Most bookmarks: Truth Universally Acknowledged, by a long shot.

Fic you want to rewrite or expand: I don’t tend to edit a story once it’s been posted, beyond correcting a typo or adding a missed word. Once it’s published, it’s finished and I don’t change it significantly. I do have quite a few (so, so many) unfinished stories that I would love to finish up at some point.

Total words combined: Counting only published fics, including the unfinished epic (and a companion piece for it) that lives only on ff.n, I’m currently at 376,542 words total.

Fav fic you wrote: How can you make me choose between my children like this, honestly?? Siiiigh. I’m with PBP, whatever I’m working on currently is usually my favorite. I’m having a ton of fun with For As Long As We Get, and can’t wait to publish the next part of that, hopefully sometime this month. I’m incredibly proud of All Hands, and that occupied such a specific time in my life that I’ll always think of it fondly. I’m exceptionally happy with the character voices and use of language in both Breathe Again and Upon This Rock Will I Break Myself, Until It Shows Me Your Beloved Face, and tend to feel like they don’t get enough love vs how much I love them. But my one true favorite is and will always be Home The Long Way ‘Round, and hopefully I’ll actually be able to finish it and post it someday.

Share a bit of your WIP or idea if you have anything planned: Again, how can I possibly choose just one?? Even just within the Doctor Who fandom, I currently have more than half a dozen stories actively in progress. But since I’ve talked it up so much without being able to link to it at all, and just declared it my all-time fav, I’m going to break one of my own rules and post the whole first chapter (eek!) of Home The Long Way ‘Round behind a read more:

Chapter 1: Orange Dreams

The sound of the wind is whispering in your head Can you feel it coming back? Through the warmth, through the cold, keep running ‘til we’re there. We're coming home now, we’re coming home now. —Home, Dotan

 The winds shrieked and howled around her. Clara had never been in a tornado, but she imagined it would feel like this to stand in the eye of one. She could see gusts lifting the tops off the sand dunes in shimmering ribbons, gold against the orange sky. The waves of airborne sand dissipated a few feet from her, leaving only a jagged grittiness in the air.

A woman with long blonde hair was yelling at her, her words ripped away by the wind.

“Tell me again!” Clara called back to her. “Tell me how to find home!”

“It’s just physics!” the other woman shouted, taking a step closer; they were nearly the same height. “No information can ever be lost! Start from zero, and run the math! We’ll be waiting on the other end of that equation!”

There was something Clara desperately wanted to tell this woman who looked at her with kindness behind the steel of her eyes, but in that moment, the words wouldn’t come.

“Look!” someone yelled behind Clara, and though she didn’t want to take her eyes off her, she instinctively looked up, following the line of the other person’s arm up into the gathering storm-whipped dusk. There, silhouetted against the last of the light, was the unmistakable blue boxy shape of the Doctor’s TARDIS, spinning quickly as it flew away—

Clara jerked awake, her heart hammering against her ribs, already sitting up and pulling off her sleep mask before she realised what had woken her was the sound of the TARDIS materialising in the sitting room of her flat. She took a moment to catch her breath, trying to hold onto the details of the dream. In the other room, the TARDIS’s familiar wheezing and groaning came to a stop with a soft thud, followed by the squeak of the door.

“Doctor?” Clara called, not bothering to hide the sleep nor the annoyance in her voice.

He poked his head around her bedroom doorframe, grey hair awry and his most innocent expression plastered on — which meant he knew he was waking her and felt at least marginally bad about it. “Hello, Clara. It’s Wednesday,” he said pleasantly, by way of explanation.

“Is it?” she asked, deadpan.

“Technically.”

“You do know that I have to work today, don’t you?”

“Not for another six hours. So come on, up-and-at-‘em, plenty of time to go out and save the universe and still be back in time for your morning coffee. I’ve an adventure that simply won’t keep, so come on!”

His excitement was infectious, as he must have known it would be, but Clara clung to her annoyance a little longer, mostly for show. “You have a time machine: everything can keep,” she replied, but waved him off before he could launch into a lecture on all the ways that statement was false, at least from a temporal physics standpoint. He lectured anyway, hovering outside her bedroom door as she dressed, though Clara expected it was mostly to keep himself from pacing in anticipation. She followed more than half of it, and worried a bit over how often she let him babble on about the minutiae of time travel these days.

By the time the universe had been set to rights — or at least one small blue world, home to a race of sentient seahorses, that had been facing imminent extinction in the form of a rogue exoplanet — she had nearly forgotten her unsettling, vivid dream.

--

Given the recent events on Skaro, Clara was unsurprised when bits of her experiences there began to filter into her dreams. Truthfully, she had expected to dream of it more often than she did, but in the weeks that followed, more nights than not her sleeping mind instead conjured up the strange orange landscape. She revisited that screaming sandstorm so often it became almost comforting, and before long, other dreams joined it. 

Clara was leaned against a railing on a high balcony, overlooking a large city coming alight as dusk crept on, a rusty sunset that stretched the width of the horizon bathing the world in amber. The woman with the serious eyes and long, straight blonde hair stood beside her, in the middle of a conversation, as happened so frequently in dreams.

“Alright, but what about the last stage?” Clara asked, elbows resting next to hers on the railing. “That bit depends on us actively doing something, and you know we can’t rely on my knowledge. I can’t take any of the engineering or navigation with me, so it’ll be down to him.”

“And he loves a good puzzle,” the other woman said confidently, flicking her hair over her shoulder with a twitch of her head. “He’ll want to find us. He’ll figure it out.”

“Before I die of old age? Are you sure? My mother was one of his professors at the Academy, I’ve seen his test scores. I think we need a fail-safe.”

“He did graduate,” she pointed out reasonably.

“He passed his exams with a fifty-one percent on his second attempt! No, we can’t assume he’ll have all the baseline information to even consider such a solution, much less actually accomplish the maths. We have to find some way to hide it with me,” Clara said. “Or in his TARDIS.”

The woman was silent for a long moment, her mouth set in a thoughtful line. On the distant horizon, the sun had finished its slow descent, but below them the city was coming to life, the light not so much fading as changing sources, becoming ever so slightly more golden.

“By that point in the timeline,” the blonde woman said, speaking slowly, still thinking it through, “you’ll have been exposed to his timestream and to the crack in the universe, so some of your memories will probably start leaking through. If we structure the extraction the right way, we might be able to embed a particular thought or moment into your consciousness before you go into the Schism.”

“What’d you have in mind?” Clara asked, turning her head to look at her.

“This conversation?” she suggested, laughing, her broad smile transforming her face. “No, a phrase would be cleaner, I think.”

“‘Run the math, you idiot boy’?” Clara suggested, also giggling.

“Oh yes, that’d go over well! No, if you want him to do something, call him clever. Works every time!” she laughed, leaning her shoulder into Clara’s.

“The horrid thing is that I know the temporal physics for this is part of my mother’s coursework,” Clara groaned. “If he hadn’t slept through so many of her classes, this would be a non-issue!”

“Ah, but a Doctor who was always responsible? What a boring universe that would be!”

Above them, the stars were beginning to come out, though the glare of the city obscured them. Through the haze of the dream, Clara couldn’t find any constellations she recognised. “You don’t have to tell me,” she said. “I was the one who helped him steal that box in the first place.”

“And if he could take half a moment to remember that,” the blonde woman said seriously, “he might realise the role of his TARDIS in all of this, and start to think of the solution that way.”

“‘Run the math, you—”

“Clever.”

“—boy, and remember when you met me’?”

The other woman nodded, considering. “That could do it. Your chronodeterminate conjugation won’t work until you come into contact with at least a little regeneration energy. Assuming you choose regeneration on Trenzalore, it might start kicking in then, in plenty of time for the last stage.”

“Run the math, you clever boy, and remember when you met me,” Clara whispered up to the distant stars, cradling her chin on her arms against the railing.

The woman mimicked her position, the golden light of the city and the silver light of the stars catching in her long pale hair. “It’s just physics,” she murmured back. “Start from zero and run the math. I’ll be waiting at the other end of that equation. We’ll all be waiting.”

--

As unsettling as they were, at least the orange-tinged dreams were better than nightmares of Daleks, of being locked in the Dalek casing, unable to convince the Doctor that it was her, it was her, she wasn’t a Dalek, she wasn’t a Dalek! Dreams of the Doctor peering at her down an eyestock, this face or the last, or any of the others buried deep in her subconscious, hearing her but not knowing her, seeing her but not saving her.

Clara grasped for that orange sky, let it carry her away in bronze sandstorms, golden cities slowly coming to life, and starlight caught in tawny hair.

--

Monday morning third period found her Year 10 students taking an essay exam while Clara doodled on a scrap piece of paper, trying to pull images and phrases out of the orange haze that had taken up residence in her slumbering hours since Skaro. There were bits that tugged at her memory, like a song she couldn’t quite place but whose tune was intensely familiar.

She’d written Run the math, you clever boy, and remember when you met me across the top of the page, and her eyes strayed to it every few seconds. The phrase had stayed with her after she woke, and had been on the tip of her tongue ever since, as though it was a message she was meant to deliver. Below it she’d rewritten the phrase, but crossed out six words: Run the math, you clever boy, and remember when you met me.

It was too close for comfort to the phrase that had, in retrospect, changed her life, sent her on her current course. The Maitlands’ mnemonic for their wifi password, which she’d said out loud during that first phone conversation with the Doctor, had caught his attention somehow, and it wasn’t until she jumped into his timestream that she understood. It was the last thing she’d said to him before sacrificing herself to save him. Every fragment of her scattered through his timestream had said it to him at some point as well, the words reverberating endlessly up and down his timeline.

Why her dreams would dredge it up now, and in such a strange context, Clara had no idea. They didn’t feel like random images, but more like memory-dreams, like the bits of echo lives that filtered through to her sleeping mind from time to time. It had to mean something.

Half way down the scrap paper she’d written: It’s just physics. Start from zero and run the math. Below this was the very helpful ??? and Clara idly traced over the question marks again. Physics was still a foreign language to her, despite how much the Doctor prattled on about it at times. She could bring this to him, she mused, but what was it, really? Her subconscious doing backflips in the wake of Skaro, that was all. No grand mystery to solve, no universe-altering secret code, just her. She wouldn’t bother the Doctor with this quite yet.

Besides, she was certain she could tease this apart on her own, follow the clues to their logical conclusion without his assistance. The dreams were insistent, and felt familiar, but Clara was sure she’d never dreamed of the blonde woman and the orange sky prior to Skaro. That was the next clue, then, and she jotted it down on her scrap paper. Something had changed after Skaro, something that caused her subconscious mind to dredge up these particular buried memories. 

She needed more information. Dreams about her echo lives were always stronger when she was aboard the TARDIS travelling in the Vortex, sharper and easier to remember. Maybe these orange dreams would be, too. And maybe the TARDIS itself would have some answers for her.

--

Of course, she didn’t sleep aboard the TARDIS very often, with her insistence on returning home for a week of Real Life in between their Wednesday trips. But the Doctor was never adverse to her sticking around longer than she’d planned, and in the end it didn’t take much to convince him: 

“I’ve a staff meeting at work that I’m dreading,” Clara told him on that next Wednesday, when they returned to the TARDIS after their latest outing. “So what do you say I have a little kip and then we squeeze in another adventure before you take me back to face my workday?”

She thought for a moment that the Doctor might question the change in their routine, but he seemed thrilled about the idea. When he announced that he had some tinkering with the engines he’d been putting off that should keep him occupied while she slept, Clara made an excuse to linger in the console room — “just going to finish reading this chapter, then off to bed” — until after he’d gone. Once he’d disappeared down the corridor and around a corner, she quietly set aside her book, then slipped out of her armchair and down the stairs towards the console. The rotors hummed overhead, and somehow Clara knew the TARDIS was aware of her, and was curious to see what she would do.

Carefully clearing her thoughts, she made her way over to the telepathic circuits, pushed up her sleeves, and slid her hands into the strange interface. Focus was the key, she knew, and she was nothing if not focused. She closed her eyes and held two very specific thoughts in her mind: the sand-whipped orange sky in her dreams, and the clear question, Where, please?

She hoped the please would help.

It was a long quiet moment with the circuits warmly cradling Clara’s fingers, and then something on the console beeped. Her eyes flew open and she carefully extracted her hands from the telepathic interface before pulling the monitor down to eye level.

Gallifrey the screen read in English, below an image of a startlingly red-orange planet. Immediately prior to the Time Lock.

Clara felt her heart thud painfully against her ribs as she read the brief text again. She’d been dreaming of Gallifrey? She knew she’d had an echo life on Gallifrey, but she remembered that interaction with the Doctor, and it happened indoors. She had never before dreamt of the Gallifreyan sky. Had it been buried somewhere in her subconscious with the rest of her memories of that life? Why surface now?

More confused than ever, she clicked the screen back to the desktop, unreadable Circular Gallifreyan floating idly across the display. Perhaps she should bring this up with the Doctor — it was his home world, after all. But the whole point of this had been to dream while they were in the Vortex, and if she didn’t get a move on, he’d be ready for their next adventure before she’d even managed to fall asleep. She could talk with him about it later. 

And if things worked tonight as she hoped they would, maybe she would even have a bit more information to bring to him when she did.

--

“Fire suppressant in Pod Four!” 

The frantic call was quickly overwhelmed by the sound of the requested suppressant dispensing from the ceiling. When it ended, the speaker, dressed in the dark red uniform of a technician, brushed soot and foam off his shirt. 

“It hates me, that one,” he said, nodding at the unassuming gray cylinder in the open pod in front of him. It was devoid of features, even its doors invisible now in the wake of the fire, two meters tall and one meter in diameter, just like all the other patients in the workshop. But somehow it did seem to be glowering at him.

“And it always will, stop wasting your time,” his coworker said flippantly. He was perched in front of a console on the other side of the room, deep in his own repairs. “Just get the Impossible Girl to do it, she’ll have it eating out of her hand by lunchtime.”

Their conversation occurred in the time it took Clara to enter the large oblong workshop and make her way to the far end where the two were working. “I heard that,” she said seriously, earning a guilty-looking jump from the man who had spoken most recently. She continued over to Pod Four and leaned against the outer casing, arms folded over her uniformed chest, one booted ankle crossed over the other. “What did you do now?” she demanded of the first technician.

He looked at her with wide eyes, more out of genuine fear than mock innocence, in her estimation. “I just told it—”

“You what?” she snapped, in a tone she usually reserved for misbehaving students.

He wilted a little but started again “…I told it to—”

“Told it?”

“…to give me access to the logs,” he mumbled, dropping her gaze.

“Told it to give you access to the logs?” she asked, voice harsh. “Well first off, Number Four here prefers male pronouns, respecting that might put you on better footing. And secondly, as with all TARDISes, you’ll get a lot further if you ask rather than tell.”

Behind her, the other tech scoffed. “They’re machines, we shouldn’t have to baby them like that. An access request is an access request.”

Clara turned her head to pin him with an icy glare. “Some days I cannot believe I let you work here,” she told him bluntly. “They aren’t just machines, as you very well know. Yes, there’s hardware we need to be able to work with, but that’s nothing more than a radio, at some level — only instead of radio waves, we’re using oswin waves to talk to pan-dimensional beings so large, they can’t have a physical form in this dimension. Who, with a little extra energy, can take us and an infinite amount of folded space to nearly any point in spacetime. Just think about the massive intelligences that speak to us through each of those machines!

“But more to the point,” she said, turning back to the tech still covered in soot, “you have to understand their viewpoint of the universe, and their understanding of time. A Time Lord telling a TARDIS what to do is akin to creating a fixed point in spacetime. It’s in their nature to want to avoid fixed points. Ask instead, let him find his own way ‘round to it.”

Before the beleaguered technician could reply, there came a polite knocking from the far end of the room, and Clara turned to see a soldier standing in the doorway of the workshop, looking a little out of his depth. “Sorry to interrupt, but I have a message for—” he paused to glance down at the datapad in his hand, “for the Oswin. From the Lady President. Top priority.”

Clara was moving towards him before he’d finished speaking, curious and concerned, her attention focused on the message in his hands. But the dream faded out before she reached him, her mind moving on to something more abstract, more difficult to hold on to.

When she woke in her bed aboard the TARDIS, she stared at the ceiling with fond frustration. “If that was your attempt at help,” she whispered to the ship, “then I do not understand the message.”

--

It still wasn’t enough to bring to the Doctor, she decided later that day, watching him spin around the console room in the afterglow of a successful adventure, people saved, the universe bettered. So she was dreaming of Gallifrey, what of it? Many of the details in that last dream matched up with what she remembered of her interaction with the Doctor in that life. And while he occasionally enjoyed comparing memories of all the times her echoes had met him, she’d found he wasn’t especially keen on discussing the one in which she’d helped him steal the TARDIS and leave Gallifrey. Susan continued to be a point of pain for the Doctor, all these centuries later, and Clara understood him well enough to know better than to pick at that particular scab.

Still. That phrase was on a loop in her head: run the math, you clever boy, and remember when you met me. The emphasis on their meeting hadn’t been part of the original phrase, and now she was dreaming of the life in which they’d met face to face for the first time, from the Doctor’s perspective. Clearly they would have to discuss it at some point. 

Eventually, but not yet.