#tigerdawn story

[residences-of-the-darkforest]

Do You Still Love Us? (short story)

The tunnel entrance was black as a starless night, gaping and lifeless and dreadful, a stark contrast to everything around it–the twittering of birds in the distance, the soft lush grass that flowed softly against the warm breeze, the colourful flowers that sprouted all-year long among the fields.

Tigerdawn couldn’t stop staring at it, imagining how much worse it must be on the other side. The fur lifted along her spine. If she felt this scared just from staring at the entryway, what must it be like where Mouseshell was? How much worse must her little sister’s fear be? Her father’s?

She wished she could have convinced him not to go, but she knew there was no stopping him from making sure that Mouseshell was safe. A large part of her missed him, but there was another part that was glad Mouseshell wouldn’t be alone. With Applesting, they were terrified for his safety and missed him every day, but they knew that he loved them, were able to tell him how much they loved him before he left. But Mouseshell…their last moments together had been so vicious.

So much time had passed since she had died, even longer since Mouseshell. Yet there were times when the pain was as fresh as if it had only happened yesterday. They had discovered a lot of things in their time in the Stars. The fact that cats could still have kits after death in the Dark Forest, that cats in StarClan could send blessings to keep those kits well-protected.

Tigerdawn didn’t know if her sister had had kits. She didn’t even know if she was still…but she sent blessings anyways, just to be safe. Though the family never really talked about it, she was sure that they did the same.

It was okay for cats in StarClan to visit the Dark Forest, now. To have kits of their own, or to just see their lost loved ones…

Tigerdawn lifted a paw, poised to step forward, but she couldn’t move beyond that first motion and remained still, frozen.

“What are you thinking? Get away from there!” 

Tigerdawn whipped her head around to face her other sister, Ivypetal, who was hurrying across the meadow towards her. 

Tigerdawn lowered her paw. “I…I just…”

“You were going to go through!” Ivypetal’s tone was furious, but there was a deep terror that flashed in her eyes. “Why would you want to go in there? In that place?”

Tigerdawn shrank into herself, despite her large size. “I only thought–”

“That you would what? Visit her? Ask her how she is? She tried to kill you! Or have you forgotten that?”

“Well, you killed her!” Tigerdawn snapped, and immediately regretted it. Ivypetal’s expression darkened, and her face contorted in grief for a moment before she forced it away. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”

“You’re right,” Ivypetal sighed. “I did kill her. To protect you,” she added with a growl. “So maybe you should say ‘thank you’!”

Tigerdawn ducked her head. Her eyes flicked back to the tunnel entrance, lingering. “I don’t know what I was thinking. I just…I thought…I don’t know. I don’t know why I still care so much after it all.”

Ivypetal’s gaze softened. She pushed through the remaining distance between them and pressed herself against Tigerdawn’s chest. “Because she’s our sister, and we loved–love her. Even if…Even if she doesn’t love us back.” She lifted her head and met Tigerdawn’s eyes. “You just…” Her voice quivered. “You just wanted to see if she loves you again. But...Please don't do that again. I don't want to lose my only sister I have left to that awful place."

Tigerdawn gasped, the lump in her throat so strong it nearly suffocated her. She dug her claws into the ground, trying to keep steady as she swayed and tried to breathe. 

Slowly and gently, yet firmly, Ivypetal stirred Tigerdawn away, and they staggered, using each other as support, until the tunnel could no longer be seen and they both collapsed onto the floor, still holding each other close until finally Tigerdawn could breathe again and she blinked a few times, trying to focus. Ivypetal looked to be in just as much distress. But she, too, blinked the tears away and gave her sister a weak smile. Her ears flicked at the sound of a squirrel chittering nearby. “Wanna hunt?” 

Tigerdawn smiled back. “Maybe we could just stay here for a little bit longer.”

Ivypetal pressed her nose against Tigerdawn’s cheek. “Alright.”

It wasn’t long before the soft breeze and even breathing–and previous stress–caused Tigerdawn to doze off. She snored gently, little breaths that stirred that grass against her muzzle. Watching her, Ivypetal couldn’t resist a glance over her shoulder, to where they had come from. To the tunnel she could no longer see, to the place beyond it, where her sister and father were.

Does she still love us? She couldn’t help but wonder.

=====================

--Since it's been a while since I've said it, to be clear a StarClan cat cannot have a kit with another StarClan cat in the Dark Forest, they only can if the other parent is a resident or Dark Kit.

--Ivy didn't mean to kill Mouseshell and still feels bad about it to this day. But it had to be done.

[residences-of-the-darkforest]

WAIT WHAT IF WILDKIT IS A DECENDANT (indirectly, like a great nephew) OF ONE OF HER VICTIMS?

Tigerdawn and Ivypetal would tell tales of how brave and heroic Mouseshell was, because in their minds they owe her for being so bad/neglecting her and this is a way to make up for it.

So Wildkit was used to stories of her, which is why he believed that she could be trusted above everyone else

still stuck on what he did though

[residences-of-the-darkforest]

Dark Forest Resident: Wildkit

Aliases / Nicknames: Mildkit, Cry-kit, Motherless

Gender: tom

Sexuality: homosexual

Family: Pollenpatch (mother), Hailsmoke (adoptive mother), unnamed father, Thriftkit, Rubblesong, Twighare (adoptive brothers)

Dark Family: Applesting (adoptive father), Mouseshell (adoptive sister)

Other Relations: N/A

Clan: ShadowClan

Rank: kit

Characteristics: easily frightened, selective mute, incredibly shy around strange cats, incredibly outgoing when around trusted cats

Murder Motive: wanting his bullies to leave him alone

Number of Victims: 1

Number of Murders: 1 (unintentionally)

Murder Method: pushing off of tree (blunt force trauma)

Known Victims: Thriftkit

Victim Profile: his adoptive brother, his bully

Cause of Death: side stabbed (pecked) by bird

Cautionary Tale: ??

Story: 

He never got to know his mother. She had gotten sick during pregnancy, and the premature labor was too much for her. She was only alive for a few days, but Wildkit was sure he could remember her soft fur curled around him...surely he must remember his mother. He had to.

But Hailsmoke insisted it was impossible. She wasn't one for heads in the clouds, and Wildkit couldn't help but wish she wasn't his adoptive mother.

He knew that she didn't like him. She didn't dislike him, but it was clear that Hailsmoke wasn't happy about their arrangement either. But she was the only nursing queen in the Clan, so she--and her three older sons--were Wildkit's family now.

Wildkit just wished that they liked him.

Thriftkit, Twigkit, and Rubblekit thought that a smaller brother was perfect--as a scratching post.

Wildkit tried to put up with it at first when they promised a prize if he let them practise their pounces on him, but soon enough he got tired of it, and he got tired of Hailsmoke's disinterest in stopping them.

But it turned out that the trio didn't care whether or not Wildkit allowed them to beat him, they would do it anyway.

Wildkit found solace in the elders' den, perhaps the only place in the camp he felt truly safe, as it was the only place he could be sure there would be someone to put a stop to his brothers' antics.

He had first run into the den while hiding from Thriftkit's sharp teeth, and seeing his distress, old Tigerdawn have offered to tell him a story to distract him.

Wildkit accepted, and was told a tale of a great cat, one who protected the weak and vulnerable, especially little kits.

Wildkit was entralled.

He visited the elders' den more and more, wishing he could hear stories of Mouseshell every second.

He thought of her often, wondering if her spirit was watching over him. He would imagine her swooping in to save him when his brothers were being mean, maybe taking him away from the Clan, taking him in as her own so he didn't have to be around Hailsmoke, Thriftkit, Twigkit, or Rubblekit anymore.

He could have a mother who loved him.

But that was a fantasy.

He had to be like Mouseshell....he had to be strong and stand up for himself.

It only made Thriftkit angrier.

Wildkit ran. He didn't care if he was leaving camp, he just wanted to get away. Why didn't they like him? Why were they so mean?

They were on his tail. Where to go?

He looked up and began to climb. It was thanks to his sharp kitten-claws and the tree's old, ragged wood that he managed to make it up the trunk and to a high branch.

But while that was enough to make Rubblekit and Twigkit stop, Thriftkit refused to be bested. He pulled himself up until he stood on the same branch, towering over Wildkit and threatening to shove him off of it.

"Leave me alone!" Wildkit closed his eyes and pushed hard. He heard a yowl and opened them in time to see Thriftkit slip.

His brother was still holding on, but it was obvious he wouldn’t be able to for much longer. He looked at Wildkit and pleaded for his help…

Wildkit shouldn’t have done it. But he was so scared and tired of being bullied and too young to fully grasp the consequences of his actions. He shoved at Thriftkit again, and his brother fell.

The thump was sickening.

The cries and screeches were deafening.

Rubblekit snapped that he was a murderer, and should be exiled.

Twigkit cried, shakily asking “why?”

They ran to camp—

They were going to tell on him.

He had to leave.

He scrabbled against the tree. It was among a large cluster, with his small body he could just make it to another tree that was close by enough to touch branches, then another….

In his haste, he got too close to a newly hatched nest, and instinctively the mother bird pecked.

Additional Information: 

—He finds Mouseshell in the Dark Forest. She doesn’t wish to be his mom, so her father takes him in instead and he becomes his adoptive sister (and they are both way better to him that his previous adopted family).

—Here’s the explanation for why he is super shy around others but instantly called Mouseshell “mom” the moment they met!

—If the first shove wasn’t enough to damn him, the second shove + running from responsibility was.

[residences-of-the-darkforest]

I want to include Mouseshell’s family more in her story so I’m thinking what if her cousin Doebur joins the Dark Forest so that she can have kits?

She did have a male mate but maybe they had trouble conceiving or didn’t try for a kit before one of them ended up dying. But two StarClan cats can’t have kits even in the Dark Forest and who would be willing to be a donor for two StarClan cats?

Also Tigerdawn (maybe Ivypetal?) would for sure use the opportunity to see Mouseshell

[residences-of-the-darkforest]

What is your favorite thing about Mouseshell?

probably how unapologetically bitchy and evil she can be

I think that most of my characters are either assholes from the get-go or victims of bad circumstances, but Mouseshell was not that.

Yeah, she definitely had issues with her family and Clan that has been affecting her since her birth and no way that wouldn’t be a big factor, but that family also truly loved her, as we saw in her profile. And they tried to make amends for the way they acted when they were younger. It was MOUSESHELL who refused any chance of reconciling. Which, sure, her choice, but she also loves to see the cats that she knows love her in pain.

She had to stop herself from grinning when she overheard her eldest sister beg StarClan not to take her away.

Why? Because she couldn’t focus on the now and the feelings being revealed and confessions made. She could only think about how she felt in the many moons prior, all the moons Ivypetal acted like she didn’t care, all the times Ivypetal treated her like a burden.

She has went through a lot of emotional hurt, which is why that’s the type of pain she likes to inflict the most.

(highlighting that because I realized it while writing and thought oh holy shit)

But then you look at her other sister, Tigerdawn, who actually treated her quite well when they were together. The problem was that Tiger was busy a lot of the time and so they weren’t together a lot of the time. If Tigerdawn wasn’t helping someone with something, she felt like a burden, but Mouseshell didn’t know that and just thought that her sister was avoiding her.

Even when Mouseshell was trying to murder her, Tigerdawn wouldn’t fight back because she didn’t want to hurt her + because she was so baffled it was even happening.

But Mouseshell didn’t care! She spent enough time caring about everyone but herself and it got her nothing but trouble, so fuck it! Even when her sister was desperately trying to get her to stop and clearly didn’t want to fight back, Mouseshell tried to tear and claw at her anyway.

And unlike other characters I have (such as Gorseheart or Jackdawfoot), she will never have a I Realized I Was Bad moment where she regrets her ways and wants to be better. She knew from the start that she was in the wrong, she just stopped caring, and that was so freeing for her that it was almost addictive.

She continues to not care in the Dark Forest, and she will continue to laugh at her family’s suffering, even when they’re elders and telling heroic stories about her to kits (or before when they refused to tell anyone what she did). She thinks it’s hilarious.

(but to be clear, when lots of moons have passed, she probably won’t think about them nearly as much. She’ll be busy with her afterlife and new family. But when she does think of them, she doesn’t feel an ounce of regret)

—-

The only ones in her living family that she doesn’t despise is her father, obviously, and maybe her cousins (possibly aunt too).

She doesn’t hate her mother and uncle, she’s more “I don’t give a shit” about them.

—-

One more thing (I know I’m ranting here but):

she doesn’t justify it either!

There are characters who will try to say “well I was hurt” or “they had it coming”

With Mouseshell, she’s fully aware that the punishments she gave out did NOT meet the crime at all. Murder is too far.

She doesn’t defend herself. She doesn’t regret it either. She knows it’s fucked up, she knows that she’s fucked up, and man does she LOVE being that way (especially after so long of fruitless attempts to be good and perfect).

If someone ever said, “You killed cats for attention? That’s just evil”

she would simply laugh and say “I know, right?”