residences-of-the-darkforest - Tumblr blog

residences-of-the-darkforest · 3 days ago

Text

Dark Forest Residences: Aphidsong & Charhoot [PART 1]

Aphidsong

TW: Abusive relationship, implied homophobia

Aliases / Nicknames: several unspecified insults (by Charhoot)

Gender: she-cat

Sexuality: omnisexual

Family: Misha (mother), unnamed biological father, Dogleaf (adoptive father), Larchtail (brother), Sunheart, Poppybird (half-sisters), Stoatbug (half-brother), Creeklight (mate, formerly)

Other Relations: Blossompool (mentor), Tansypaw (apprentice), Charhoot (best friend + pretend mate)

Clan: WindClan (formerly), ThunderClan (formerly), none

Rank: rogue (previously WindClan warrior, previously ThunderClan warrior)

Characteristics: easily excitable, people(cat)-pleaser, hyper, adventurous (all pre-injury), prone to nightmares, struggles to find joy in life, increasing rage (all post-injury)

Murder Motive: wanting her nightmares to end, wanting the cats that made her life hell to suffer

Number of Victims: 42 (in life)

Number of Murders: 26 (in life)

Murder Method: suffocating, attacking/slitting throat, poisoning herbs

Known Victims: Creeklight, Sloehoney, Shrewstar, unnamed ThunderClan cats

Victim Profile: her former mate/the cat who tried to kill her, the medicine cat of ThunderClan, the leader of ThunderClan, random ThunderClan cats

Cause of Death: poisoned

Cautionary Tale: ??

Story:

Aphidsong's first memory was walking into the WindClan camp with her mother, just barely fitting beneath her belly where she hid alongside her brother.

Though it was hazy, she remembered the fear that mixed with awe when she looked around at all the cats, more than she even thought existed in the world, all staring at her and her family.

The fact that the first hints of the cruel, prejudicial life of the Clans can be caught in those earliest moments could be considered upsetting, to say the least, but Aphid, only two moons old then, had failed to notice the unsure and downright hostile glances some cats sent her, and her little ears couldn't pick up the arguments made to send the little family out for the crime of not having warrior blood. Or perhaps her brain had not understood the gravity of what they were saying and simply chose for her to forget.

By the time she was old enough to see the glances or hear the comments and know what they mean, most of her Clanmates had already stopped long ago, and now treated her, her brother, and her mother with as much respect as they would any blood-born Clanmate. The others consisted mainly of the elders who were stuck in their ways, and though they frustrated her greatly, she knew not to take them seriously.

It didn't hurt that a warrior, Dogleaf, caught feelings for Misha shortly after she joined the Clan and became the adoptive father of Aphid--now Aphidkit and Larch--now Larchkit.

Her kithood, apprenticeship, and early warriorhood were filled with little triumphs, shared laughter, and a spark of curiosity for every new thing she came across. It was the happiest time of her life. She later came to realize that much of that joy came from ignorance.

The first sign--or at least, the first sign that she noticed--appeared through her best friend, Charhoot. They had been close for moons and Aphidsong knew her friend to be nonchalant and easy-going, so when he became visibly stressed, she became concerned.

He confessed that he had been getting more and more pressure from his family to find a mate, and that it was getting to the point where he couldn't have a single conversation with any of them without them bringing it up, whether they were trying to convince him in earnest or were looking to tease him for his lack of a pretty she-cat by his side.

Aphidsong had joked that of course he has a pretty she-cat by his side, she's right here! It was only meant to be a joke, of course, she felt no romantic feelings for Charhoot, who was more of a brother than anything else. Meanwhile, he too felt no romantic feelings for her, nor any she-cat--which was the problem.

That was all it was at first, a joke. They had both laughed then before talking more and then moving on. But as time passed, the pressure from Charhoot's family grew, until he couldn't go a single second without the thought of it causing him immense stress.

Aphidsong and Charhoot had talked seriously then. They both vehemently agreed that neither liked the other in that way, but decided that for the sake of getting the pressure off of Charhoot's back, they would become 'mates.'

They wouldn't really be mates, it would simply be a fake relationship so that Charhoot didn't have to hear more comments about how time was running out. They didn't pretend to be more lovey and continued to act the same way around each other as they always had, justifying that they could act however they wanted, no one could prove that they weren't mates. Though when some cats said how they "always knew" or how Charhoot and Aphidsong were "meant for each other," both friends wanted to barf. It was even harder not to laugh.

Things were okay for a while. Then Charhoot's parents decided that their son finding a good mate wasn't enough--they wanted grandkits.

No, no. Stars, no.

Neither Aphidsong nor Charhoot were even going to consider that, and both had to only look at each other to see the same "that's disgusting, we're not doing that" look reflected in the other's eyes.

Worse yet, Charhoot's parents talked to Aphidsong's, and now the pressure was coming from both sides. The friends told their families that they weren't ready for that, but it became apparent that they couldn't keep that excuse forever. The more time that passed, the more insistent their families would be, and what would they tell them then? That they can't have kits because they have been lying to them for moons and had never actually been mates? The fallout of that conversation was not one they were willing to witness.

In attempts to avoid the topic entirely, Aphidsong and Charhoot took any reason they could get to stay out of the camp. When they weren't on patrol, either together or separately, they were 'spending quality time together.' To their families, that meant...well, they didn't care to know what they thought it meant, but for them it meant that they could hang out together as best friends without any 'aw, what good mates' remarks or judgements of how the Clan should be expecting kittens soon--gross. They could just be friends and hang out.

One day, Charhoot had left the camp before Aphidsong, who had been assigned den-repair duty. When she had finally been able to leave, hoping to catch up with him after catching a young grouse, she followed his scent trial to WindClan's far border.

There, she found him meeting with another tom with a perfectly circular nick in his ear.

He was flustered and embarrassed to be caught, while she was embarrassed to intrude. At first, Charhoot began to quickly say how they were just talking and Charhoot wanted to be polite, but then as his breathing slowed and he had a chance to think for a moment who he was justifying himself to, he dropped the lies quickly and told her the truth.

Charhoot had met the tom while on a solo-patrol when the tom spotted him from atop the barn that was his home and called out. Charhoot had never seen a cat on top of the barn before, so his curiosity was instantly piqued.

Charhoot admitted that he kept meeting with the barn cat--Mustache, and that he had caught feelings quickly.

Aphidsong had no qualms against her friend meeting with a cat from outside the Clan, whether or not it was for romantic purposes. She was only thrilled to see him so happy and in love. She offered to be his alibi, saying that she and him could leave the camp together and return together, and he and Mustache could meet up in the time between.

With more time to herself to hunt and patrol, it wasn't too long before Aphidsong was also meeting with a tom on the border. Creeklight was as funny as he was kind, Aphidsong's first impression of him being when he tumbled into the stream that separated their Clans after leaping into the air to catch a blackbird. She had been unable to resist laughter, and instead of becoming angry or ashamed, he just laughed with her until both had trouble breathing.

Now that both friends had a love outside of the Clans and both knew of the other's love, doubts began to crawl in, concerns that they expressed to each other.

If they hated living in their Clan so much that they avoided camp every day, should they just leave? They still loved their families dearly, and had other good friends that would make it tough to part. At the same time, they hadn't been as happy in recent moons as they have been after meeting with their respective mates. Their true mates. Maybe they should embrace that happiness, that freedom.

After thinking on it long and hard, Charhoot was the first to go, leaving for the barn after Aphidsong encouraged him to take the leap. Though they no longer lived in the same Clan, the friends kept in touch. Charhoot showed Aphidsong around the farm, and she would come to visit as frequently as possible.

Without her friend in the Clan with her, Aphidsong felt her connection to WindClan was growing weaker and weaker, while her bond with Creeklight was increasing.

Finally, inspired by Charhoot and how much happier he seemed to be with his love and away from the pressures of his parents, she decided that she, too, could take the leap.

It went downhill from there.

The ThunderClan cats protested greatly against letting her in. Being a Clan-swapper was bad enough, the fact that she wasn't Clanborn only made it worse.

Aphidsong was surprised. She had thought her heritage was long passed her. She served her Clan all her life. The only reason she was leaving it was to be with someone that she loved.

Shrewstar, ThunderClan's leader, was as hostile as his most vocal warriors, and made sure to let Aphidsong know, publicly, that the only reason he was allowing her to stay was for Creeklight's sake.

Aphidsong wondered if Creeklight would have been met with the same level of opposition had he been the one to join her. Somehow, she knew the answer was no.

It was worth it, though. She could freely be with Creeklight, able to patrol with him and share tongues and sleep in the same nest without having to sneak around or worry about getting caught.

It was harder to see Charhoot then, due to now having WindClan between them, but the friends still worked to see each other. Charhoot knew of the situation--Aphidsong had told him before she left, and together they came up with a plan to follow the stream just past the ThunderClan and WindClan borders whenever they wanted to hang out.

That was easier said than done. Between being a new addition to the Clan and not having the full trust of her Clanmates to be alone while on patrol and the longer trek for both cats, the opportunity to meet up was fewer and fewer.

One day, the meeting was witnessed by Hazelfox, Creeklight's sister who never shied from letting her distaste of his relationship known. She had confronted Aphidsong when she had returned to ThunderClan, and brought her right before Shrewstar and the rest of the Clan, despite Aphidsong's pleads for silence.

Aphidsong had tried to say that she was only meeting with her friend, but because of the lie she and Charhoot had created, cats were quick to accuse her of infidelity. It didn't make sense for Aphidsong to move farther away from Charhoot in order to meet up with him, but no reasoning Aphidsong could come up with would change their minds.

Life in ThunderClan became harder for Aphidsong after that. The few friendships she was able to form had evaporated within seconds now that everyone believed her to be a cheater, and those that already disliked her joining the Clan became outright venomous. She couldn't so much as walk across the camp without having several pairs of eyes staring daggers at her.

Now, she was a former loner, Clan-swapper, and a cheater who probably manipulated poor Creeklight, who all of sudden is not a traitor but instead a poor tom who was blinded by love.

Creeklight was a whole other issue, as he didn't believe Aphidsong, either.

Aphidsong had tried desperately to tell him the truth, to get him to believe her, but she couldn't tell him why she and Charhoot are only friends now after being 'mates' for moons, she couldn't tell him that it was all a lie because even if word didn't spread to her and Charhoot's families, she didn't want to out Charhoot to a cat he hardly knew. It hurt worse than shattered bones to see Creeklight so devastated, and living with ThunderClan would be incredibly hard, but she would rather have cats think poorly of her than think poorly of Charhoot.

Creeklight didn't break up with her, as Aphidsong had expected, albeit with a heavy heart, but he wanted her to prove her loyalty to him.

She had pointed out that she left her Clan and family to be with him, but he was insistent, claiming that he could never be sure if she truly loved him or truly loved Charhoot, not without having his kits. If they became a family, it would solidify their relationship, as well as Aphidsong's place in the Clan.

Aphidsong had told him before that she wasn't sure if she would ever have kits, a fact she reminded him of. Perhaps, one day, she would, but today was not anywhere near that day.

When she refused, he acted pitiful and sad, claiming that her refusal was proof, that if she loved him she would do it, that they were going to have kits one day, so why not now?

The pushier he was, the angrier Aphidsong became. She would be damned if she was going to put herself through two moons of pregnancy, six moons of sitting around in the nursery, and to top it off, a lifetime of motherhood--something she wasn't even sure if she wanted at all yet--just to appease him. Not to mention how painful the labor itself would be!

He became angry too, until the argument became a shouting match and Aphidsong decided that if he couldn't trust her without her mutilating her body for him, than they should just break up.

Terrified at that and enraged all at once, Creeklight shoved at Aphidsong without thinking. She stumbled back, nearly losing her footing on a ravine's edge. He blinked at her, shocked, but instead of helping her right herself, he pushed at her again and sent her tumbling down onto the rocks below.

Aphidsong couldn't remember much after that second shove, but she didn't black out. There was pain, she knew that, hot fire scorched across her face. She felt a wetness pooling around her body, and half the world was darker than usual.

She would later learn that she was in a state of shock after a patrol had found her and lifted her out. Apparently Creeklight was remorseful and told the Clan what had happened when he got back. Or, well, he told them that she 'fell'.

Again, no one believed her. She hissed at Creeklight, demanding he stay away. She tried to tell the medicine cat who bandaged her face, tried to tell Shrewstar, heck, she tried to tell anyone who was within earshot to hear her.

They thought she was either misremembering things after her head trauma, had simply been confused, or that she was downright making things up.

Creeklight, meanwhile, went unpunished. He was nothing but a hardworking, noble warrior with a heart of gold, still able to love and bring supplies to the she-cat that cheated on him and accused him of harming her.

It would be a lie to say that Aphidsong didn't doubt herself. Was she remembering wrong? What if Creeklight really had been trying to help her?

No.

If it had happened once, maybe there would be a chance she was wrong, but he did it twice. He had pushed her, and he did it deliberately, and now he was the hero who ran to the camp for help, a loving mate for always checking on her, and she was the heartless fox for snapping at him to leave every time he came near her.

She didn't care if he regretted it, as he had tried to tell her when no one else was around to hear. The fact of the matter was that he did it, and he did it because she dared refuse to have his kits.

She missed Charhoot.

She wanted to see him again, to go back to the days when everything was fine, when everything was happy. But she was confined to the medicine den for the next who-knew how long. She didn't know how badly she was injured, there were no puddles in the camp to see her reflection. She only knew that bandages covered much of her face, and that she couldn't see out of her one eye anymore.

Even if she could leave, Aphidsong wasn't sure if she had the energy to. Sorrow weighed heavily on her chest, pulling her into a pit of deep depression that she saw no light in. If she wasn't sleeping, either dreaming of the blissful days of younger-year or having nightmares of her life now, she was staring blankly at the wall.

Sometimes, something would set her off. The sound of a rock smacking onto the ground as kits played pebble-toss, the wind picking up as it had then, or even nothing at all. It all gave her intense, uncontrollable anxiety so deep it shook her bones.

Though not unsympathetic to these episodes, Sloehoney, the medicine cat, never gave her anything more than poppy seeds. He told her that he would consider something more if her episodes persisted longer than a moon, but she had overheard him talking to Shrewstar just outside of the den, claiming that WindClan warriors were fragile, and loners even more so, and that he was sure her apparent symptoms felt real to her, but she was probably just being dramatic. Shrewstar didn't argue, instead he agreed and suggested that Aphidsong was only making things seem worse than it was to get out of work. After all, she had been in the medicine den for nearing four moons now.

Had it really been so long?

Aphidsong was shocked. The days had melted together, and her sleep schedule was off. Still, four entire moons? Those were moons she would never get back, a chunk of her life gone all because of Creeklight, and the bastard got off scot-free, able to experience every day like it was nothing, like just having to wake up wasn't the hardest thing in the world.

Then a miracle happened. He fell sick.

Aphidsong was wary at first, fur bristling as he was moved into the medicine den with her. She spent the next several days backed against the wall, as far from him as she was able to get. In those days, she watched as he grew weaker and weaker, staying awake for less time, forming less coherent sentences.

She saw as Sloehoney only had to nudge at his lips for Creeklight to open his mouth to swallow down the medicine he needed, not even opening his eyes anymore to see what was being fed to him.

Technically speaking, that was when an idea began to form, though at the time there was a disconnect between Aphidsong's mind and her body. No plan was formed that she was consciously aware of, no step-by-step strategy or devise scheme.

She slipped out of camp on her body's accord. Her mind was elsewhere, numb, unable to so much as take in the feel of the grass beneath her paws or the clear night sky above her. It had been forever since she had seen it.

When those berries were in her paws, when her eyes--eye was looking at it, that's when everything came rushing to her and Aphidsong jumped back with the same terror as if she had been pounced on by a fox.

Had she really been about to do it?

She looked around wildly, at the shadows around her, hearing the hoot of an owl in the distance. She shouldn't be out here, she shouldn't be doing...what was she about to do? She began to run back in the direction of the camp.

In her haste, Aphidsong slipped in mud, and landed with a thump and splash in a puddle.

Her bandages had been removed at this point, but this was the first time she was out of camp, and the first time she saw...

It was horrible.

Laying, bruised, partially caked in mud and drenched in water, she could only stare down at the face that she couldn't recognize. The scar was ugly, red, digging from her cheek to her ear, nearly splitting her face in two. The eye it covered was closed shut. Aphidsong wasn't sure if she could open it. She wasn't sure if she wanted to, or if she wanted to see...

Her good eye was wrong, too. It wasn't marked, wasn't even scratched, but it held a darkness beneath them, heavy bags that marked her face as clearly as the scar. Her ears drooped low, as did seemingly everything about her.

Who was this cat? This wasn't her. She was Aphidsong, happy, cheerful, energetic, and loud. This cat...this was a stranger. This wasn't the she-cat that had rolled down the hills with her brother. This wasn't the apprentice that got scolded for laughing too much during training. It wasn't the she-cat who could still smile and have fun, even when her family was pressuring her.

No, this cat was...

It couldn't be her...

It couldn't be her!

What had happened to her?!

What had that bastard done to her?!

With energy she hadn't felt in moons, Aphidsong stood and raced back to camp. This time, her mind was clear. Focused. She wasn't going to stop herself this time.

Any cat awake didn't notice her, because they were distracted by a Clanmate's active labor in the nursery. That also meant that Sloehoney was out of the den, and probably wouldn't be back for a while.

Aphidsong hadn't went back for the deathberries. She didn't need them. She stood over Creeklight, her shadow making him blink open his eyes. She only allowed him a moment to see her, to know who was there, before she held him down with her paws, suffocating him as she forced his muzzle into her fur.

His struggles were muffled and weakened by sickness. Before too long, Creeklight's movements stilled as he went limp. Aphidsong's heart pounded, the sound echoing through her ears. She got up and returned to her nest, pretending to fall asleep, staring at the opposite wall, eye wide at what she had just done.

She had just killed someone.

She was a murderer.

And yet...no guilt sunk in.

Aphidsong didn't regret what she did, nor did she take pleasure in it. Rage guided her paws, but so did the belief that if Creeklight was gone, the nightmares would stop. If he was dead, then she could go back to normal.

Things just weren't so easy.

Aphidsong sat for the vigil. She didn't do it for him, she just didn't want more cats on her back if she avoided it. She listened to the fond memories they shared, how Creeklight was such a good Clanmate and friend and how much everyone in ThunderClan would miss him. She wanted to scream at them all, remind them of what he had done to her, the agony he had put her through. She wanted to show them how horrible he truly was, but they didn't believe her then. None of them believed her. Why would that change now?

She wondered what would be said at her own vigil when the time came. Did any of these cats even know her? Did any of them even care to learn who she was? How many knew that her favourite prey was wagtail? Or that she hated leaf-bare but loved to catch snowflakes when they first began to fall?

Would they say anything nice about her? Or would they not say anything at all?

Four moons in the medicine den, and not one cat had stopped by to visit her, her attacker not included. Well, that wasn't true. Hazelfox stopped by to yell at her for 'spreading lies' about her brother.

Aphidsong wanted to leave. Needed to. Her parents and brother must hate her for abandoning them. Would they take her back if she begged? She decided that giving it a shot would be better than life here. If they turned her down, she could always go to the barn. She knew Charhoot wouldn't turn her away.

But Aphidsong couldn't leave just yet. She was out of the medicine den by this time, her face as healed as it could get. But all that time spent sitting or laying down had weakened her legs. She couldn't walk without stumbling. She had thought she would be fine, after all, she had managed to run in the forest before, but apparently her spiraling thoughts and high adrenaline had distracted her from the pain in her limbs.

She needed a little more time before she would be able to make the trek to WindClan's border, where all of this started. She should have never met Creeklight. She should have never left everything for him. She thought that she would have a fresh start, a new life. She hadn't thought that everything would be taken from her and nothing would be left. It wasn't supposed to be like this.

Finally, when she was sure she could make it, she headed for Shrewstar's den. She wasn't going to leave without a word, not that these cats deserved her reasoning. But when she neared, she overheard him discussing the kits' apprenticeship.

He and Longhowl thought carefully about each young cat, carefully choosing which mentor would fit specific personalities and temperaments.

Then the conversation moved on to Tansykit, an abandoned loner found on the edge of the territory. They talked about how much trouble she would have keeping up with the warrior-blooded apprentices, how her adoptive mother tried to toughen her up, but Tansykit would complain that she was mean. They laughed about it, chuckling about loners and their soft hearts. Longhowl suggested someone tough for her, someone stern and strong and who would surely train the loner out of her.

Aphidsong's heart was racing. She had little time to move away so that it didn't look like she was eavesdropping when the conversation abruptly ended and Longhowl left the den. She didn't move in time, and he noticed her at the mouth of the den, questioning what she was doing.

Aphidsong told him that she had to speak with Shrewstar and slipped past him before she could say anything.

Now was her chance.

She would tell Shrewstar that she was going to leave, and then she would, and all of this, all of the bad memories and pain and the horrible thing she had to do would be behind her. She would return to WindClan and be with her family and friends and cats that loved her and she would visit Charhoot every day and she would laugh again and share food with other cats and she would sleep without being woken up by nightmares, and she would....she would....

Shrewstar asked her what she wanted.

She opened her mouth, tongue going dry.

Then, without really thinking, hardly knowing she was speaking, she told him that she wanted to mentor Tansykit.

He seemed unsure at first, but she told him that she wanted to make up for the moons she spent healing and unable to contribute, how as a former loner herself, she would know the best way to handle someone like Tansykit. She was insistent, near demanding, until Shrewstar gave in with a shrug and agreed.

Aphidsong left the den, wondering what the hell she had just done.

It was a choice made without real thought, and one that she would spend that night clawing at herself for.

But when it came time for Tansypaw's apprentice ceremony, seeing the glow in the young she-cat's eyes as well as the nervous flick of her tail, her regret loosened its grip and a wave of affection washed over her.

In the next several moons as she trained the apprentice and gotten to know her, that regret disappeared completely. The affection, meanwhile, strengthened tenfold.

Aphidsong loved Tansypaw. The little cat was so full of energy and a desire to learn, taking in the world around her with wide eyes, and a smile on her face even when she messed up. She reminded Aphidsong of herself at that age, though the two also had many differences. Tansypaw preferred hunting over fighting, her sense of humour differed from Aphidsong's, she struggled to sleep at night and was tough to wake at dawn, while Aphidsong was a deep-sleeper and an early riser.

Those things were so small and unimportant. Aphidsong didn't care if Tansypaw's favourite meal was mice feet. How could that matter to her when Tansypaw's giggly smile could light up a moonless night?

It was exactly what Aphidsong needed. She had spent so long being sad and alone and angry and numb. For the first time in what must have been forever, she felt like herself again.

Tansypaw would make jokes, and Aphidsong would laugh, before silently gasping and wondering how long it had been since the last time she had laughed like that.

There were sadder moments, too. Tansypaw knew of the things other cats would say about her, and when she struggled with something, she would blame herself for being so weak.

Aphidsong refused to allow her to think such things. When Tansypaw apologized for struggling, for not being able to keep up because she was stupid, Aphidsong would sit with her and hold her close. And when Tansypaw stopped rambling and took a breath, Aphidsong would assure her that she is smart and capable, and she just needs more time, and that was okay.

She would calmly ask Tansypaw what parts were confusing her, what tasks she was struggling with, and would listen to the apprentice until they could figure out together where the problem was. Sometimes it was something as simple as the way Aphidsong worded her directions.

At first, Tansypaw blamed herself for not understanding, thinking it should be so easy and she was an idiot for not getting it. After talking with Aphidsong, she became more and more comfortable with speaking up when she was having trouble. Every time, Aphidsong would listen to her patiently and explain things in a different way. Sometimes she would have to go further than that, using visuals to help explain.

Never once did she sigh or roll her eyes or show the slightest bit of annoyance. She knew that if she had left that day, Tansypaw's mentor wouldn't have been nearly as patient. The poor thing would be miserable.

Aphidsong couldn't keep her safe forever.

During a harsh leaf-bare, Aphidsong and the apprenticeless patrol she was with was caught in a sudden snowstorm. Though no cat had gotten frostbite, their condition was bad enough to keep them confined to camp for the next two days.

Tansypaw was given to another warrior to train while Aphidsong recovered. Aphidsong listed everything the temporary mentor, Billowpelt, needed to know, including the fact that Tansypaw greatly struggled with balance and that he should avoid any place covered in slippery ice. She suggested he stick to the mossy clearing, where the moss gave something Tansypaw could grip onto, and the overhead trees blocked out most of the snowfall.

Billowpelt hadn't listened.

That stupid, worthless tom! He had taken Tansypaw to the iciest part of the territory, explaining later that he had thought Aphidsong was going too soft on Tansypaw and that it was the best way for Tansypaw to learn how to balance without issue.

Instead, she had slipped, snapping her neck.

Aphidsong had been too shocked to say anything right away. But then came the vigil. When Billowpelt spoke, he didn't apologize for causing Tansypaw's death, for deliberately putting her safety in jeopardy. No, he put on a frown and stated that maybe it was for the better, that loners like Tansypaw couldn't make it in Clan life and it was better she died now, quickly, then suffer more in the future when she was unable to fight in battle or hunt in another leaf-bare.

He made it seem like it was all her fault, her own death, and not one cat--not even Tansypaw's adoptive parents or littermates--spoke against it.

Aphidsong couldn't take it. She lunged at Billowpelt, tackling him to the ground and clawing as she screamed. Screamed at him for not listening, screamed at him for blaming Tansypaw for dying when he should have protected her, screamed at him for calling Tansypaw a weak loner when it was comments like that that made Tansypaw doubt herself in the first place.

She was a good cat, a really good cat!

He clawed her back, and the two were caught in a whirlwind of tooth and claws until finally several cats got between them and pulled them apart.

Shrewstar snapped at Aphidsong, demanding how she dare disrupt a vigil in such an awful way. Didn't she care a cat was dead?

Aphidsong had glared at him, glared at all of them. She yelled how none of them truly cared, they were just pretending to. They looked at Tansypaw, a bright and curious young cat, and saw nothing but another mouth to feed, a waste of space, a cat that was useless because she wasn't born with warrior-blood. There was so much more to Tansypaw. Even when she was exhausted from a long training session, she never let Aphidsong leave without a smile on her mentor's face. Even when she was hurt and struggling, and even when her own littermates teased her, she would worry about them and how they were doing. She was the kindest, funniest, most amazing cat in all the Clans, but not one of her Clanmates other than Aphidsong even knew it because all anyone else could see was a weakling loner.

The Clan was cowed, ducking their heads as Aphidsong stopped to eye every single one of them. Then she spat, telling them that she hoped the frost kills them all, before leaving without another word.

She hated them, hated every single one.

She hated Creeklight for trying to manipulate her. She hated him for trying to murder her and scarring her for life, and she hated that he never confessed to the truth when everyone thought she was lying.

She hated the whole of ThunderClan for thinking she was lying about something so horrible. Not one cat--not one cat--believed her. No one in that Clan ever stood up for her. They all just left her to rot in the medicine den, going by their days as if she weren't completely breaking down.

The few friends she thought she had made when she first joined turned their backs on her without a second thought, without hearing her out.

She knew that Shrewstar hated her for being WindClan. For being a loner. Sloehoney, too. All that time with him and the two have never grown close. Sloehoney had always treated her like a burden to be delt with rather than a cat to help or friend to talk to.

It was all their fault that Aphidsong's old self is such a stranger to her. It was all their fault that Tansypaw was always so anxious she would screw up, because they judged her more than the others because she had loner-blood. It was all their fault that Tansypaw died.

Why did they deserve to live when Tansypaw was rotting beneath the ground, meal to the worms?

That's just it.

They didn't.

Plans began to form, the first of which were inefficient.

Aphidsong saw a warrior hunting on their own and attacked, but though she had managed to end the ThunderClanner's life, it had been a struggle that left her panting for breath. There was no way she could deal with all of the Clan like this.

She pulled the body into the stream so that her scent couldn't be traced. They would likely suspect her, but room for speculation gave her room to escape.

As she sat on the bank, her eyes drifted, stopping on two red berries shining in the starlight.

Poisoning the prey didn't work as she had hoped. No one grabbed the already-dead mice and birds, perhaps thinking that they were sick. Getting living animals to eat poison wasn't exactly a cake-walk either, and the one vole that was stupid enough to take the bait didn't survive the poison long enough to be hunted.

Aphidsong was growing increasingly frustrated. She was about to take her anger out on a tree trunk when movement caught her eye and she ducked, sheathing her claws.

It was Sloehoney, out and looking for....herbs.

It was perfect! Cats digested them, put them on open wounds, and because the victims would be cats already sick or injured, no one would notice something was wrong until it was too late!

As soon as Sloehoney was gone, Aphidsong got to work. She knew exactly which plants were herbs and which weren't, having spent four moons beside then.

She would take deathberries and squeeze their juice out and onto the plants, making sure they were nice and coated.

She wasn't sure how well the juice worked in respect to the rest of the berry, so she made sure to shake it up now and again. Some deadly nightshade here, some yew there, some holly berries sprinkled between.

After a while, she couldn't stand not being able to see them all suffer, so she crept toward the hollow slowly and carefully until finally she reached the cliff's edge and peered down below.

It was a delight to see how few cats were in camp. She guessed the rest were either all in the medicine den or beneath the ground. Though she was a fair distance away, she could see how exhausted Shrewstar was, worry for his Clanmates wearing him down, and she smiled at his misery.

She couldn't find Sloehoney. She wondered if all that handling the tainted herbs had killed him.

It was finally time to leave. She covered as many herbs as she could find one final time for good measure, before setting off across the border.

She stopped at the stream where she had dropped the body a moon earlier, where she had met Creeklight and made the worst decision of her life. Taking back that decision in one movement, she leapt over the stream and landed back on WindClan territory. She had slipped a little, her vision not being what it used to be, but it still felt as good as a clean landing on a thin precipice.

She considered going back home, but she knew it was too late for that. Maybe she would stay with Charhoot at the barn. Maybe she would explore and make up for the time she lost.

Before any of that, though, she had to eat.

Charhoot

TW: homophobia

Aliases / Nicknames: Hon, Hoots, Char, Love, Dear, Sweetie, several unspecified insults (by Aphidsong)

Gender: tom

Sexuality: homosexual

Family: unnamed biological mother, unnamed biological father, Sprigbirch (adoptive mother), Adderstripe (adoptive father), Mitecloud, Flecktooth (adoptive brothers), Mustache, Ferret (mates)

Other Relations: Billowweed (mentor), Marsh, Cone, Rubble, Max III, Boo, Marbles, Fliss, Toby, Rebel, Slink [Slinky Malinky], Shebee (flings/situationships), Aphidsong (best friend + pretend mate)

Clan: WindClan (formerly), none

Rank: barn cat (previously WindClan warrior, previously travelling loner)

Characteristics: somehow incredibly geeky and incredibly cool at the same time, loves sharp things, overconfident in his own abilities

Motive to Harm: N/A

Number of Victims: 0

Number of Murders: 0

Murder Method: N/A

Method of Harm: N/A

Known Victims: N/A

Victim Profile: N/A

Cause of Death: prolonged inversion (blood pooling in the brain)

Cautionary Tale: ??

Story:

He loved the family he was adopted by. Sprigbirch was loving and incredibly protective, and Adderstripe always gave them the best gifts whenever he returned from a patrol. Neither ever treated Charkit differently from their biological sons, who were two moons older than he was, and they never bothered Charkit for not being Clanborn.

While Charhoot wished to know who his biological parents were and their reasons for leaving him, it wasn't so important that it weighed on his mind as anything more than a mild interest. He was sure they did what they thought was best, either because he remembered how thin they had been when he last saw them, memories that replayed in his mind as fuzzy dreams, or because he wanted to believe in the best of them. It was easier that way.

Aphidkit was soon to become an apprentice by the time Charkit was old enough to explore the camp, and she took it upon herself to show the young one around, excitedly pointing out the different areas--best places to hide for hide-and-seek, the dens, and every detail both important and nonconsequential. She was so eager, she was more energetic than the younger kit.

The two formed a quick bond then, a relationship that would only grow and strengthen as time went on, until eventually that friendly relationship would need to become an outwardly-appearing courtship.

Charhoot thought he could ignore the comments at first, just brush his parents off. They bothered his brothers too, so the pressure was at least spread between them, but then Mitecloud and Flecktooth both found mates and Adderstripe's and Sprigbirch's attention narrowed right on him.

He wasn't sure if he could just tell them the truth--he didn't know of anyone in WindClan or any Clan that was like him. Every she-cat liked a tom, every tom liked a she-cat. If he told his family that he liked toms, how would they react?

He couldn't tell them directly. Instead, he tried to bring up same-sex relationships in a general sense to gauge their reactions, lying that he had seen two loners a while across the border that were cuddling like mates, though both were toms. Interesting, wasn't it? What did they think?

While neither Adderstripe nor Sprigbirch seemed outright disgusted by the idea, which was a relief, both made it clear that such a relationship is good for loners, but not Clan cats. Clan cats need to be sure that each generation would provide kits for the next, and that simply couldn't happen if two toms were mates or two she-cats were mates.

That was that, then. Charhoot couldn't tell them. He couldn't tell anyone, only Aphidsong, who already guessed it because she had caught him mooning over another tom at the gathering once when they were apprentices

Though Charhoot's 'relationship' with Aphidsong provided temporary shelter against the barrage of 'hurry ups' and 'find a pretty she-cat,' it couldn't protect Charhoot against the pain that was building inside.

Having a fake mate to get his parents off his back was one thing, but Charhoot wondered more and more if he would never get to live with a real mate who he actually romantically loved if he kept living in the Clans.

Perhaps that is why he was so intrigued when Mustache first called out to him, and why he kept going back more and more.

He was grateful to Aphidsong for covering for him. Stars, he was so grateful to her for everything.

Even when he told her that he was considering leaving the Clan to live with Mustache, she wasn't angry. She only smiled, always so cheerful, and encouraged him to take the leap. By this time, he knew that she had her own out-of-WindClan relationship, and gave her the same advice.

Leaving WindClan was the best decision Charhoot had ever made, but that didn't mean he wasn't scared out of his mind when he did it. He worried if he was making the wrong choice, wondered how hurt his parents and other friends were.

At the same time, the air felt so much less constricting. The world felt bigger, brighter, and Charhoot was eager to explore it. He looked around his new home with awe.

The more he was away, the more the guilt slowly evaporated. Charhoot found it easier to sleep, and that the cold ice in his chest was gone.

That bad feeling returned, however, when again and again Aphidsong failed to meet up with him. He began to worry for her safety, but when he had tried to visit, he was chased off by a patrol, who yelled at him to leave her alone, as she had a 'new mate now.'

He didn't hold it against her, he doubted she even knew anyone was chasing him off, and at least their words confirmed that she was alive and okay. Maybe she was just too busy now, having to show her new Clan she was trustworthy, moving in with her new mate.

Charhoot thought of it, and smiled for her. He loved her and hoped to see her again, but if they were both happy with their lives, then what was the rush?

Without her, and without his parents and other connections other than Mustache, Charhoot found less of a reason to stay. He loved Mustache and part of him wanted to remain mates and stay there in the barn with him, but the other part wanted to grab onto the wind and have it carry him all over the world. He had the freedom to explore places he never would have back in WindClan, the chance to meet new cats and see new things, and after debating it for several days, he decided he couldn't let that go.

He gave Mustache one final nuzzle good-bye, before setting off.

The world was bigger than he could have ever dreamed of, with so many sights and sounds and animals he had never seen before, not even in the Elders' stories.

Too, he met many cats on his exploration, including many toms. Some of them he only met with once or for a few days, others travelled with him for some time. Every single one of them held a special place in his heart, as they each gave him the life he used to think he could never have, even if only for a short time.

He felt the pull to explore for many moons. Then, after a while, he felt the pull to go back home.

He reunited with Mustache and met the new barn cat, Ferret, both of whom he would become mates with--again, for one of them.

He still thought of his parents, his brothers, and of course, of Aphidsong, all of whom he hoped to see again soon.

Additional Information:

--LINK TO PART 2: CURRENTLY TBA

--BASES:

Charhoot's base is by @/Splasharooni here!

Aphidsong's base is by AlaskanCat on DeviantArt

--I know Charhoot's kind of ends suddenly, but it transitions cleanly with part 2's beginning!

--Aphidsong ate an animal that ate an herb that she poisoned, thus accidentally poisoned herself. I like the idea that she ate a shrew, as it's kinda funny/poetic (Shrewstar can go f himself though).

--Charhoot's circular ear-nick comes from the farmers, who use it as a way to tag their cats.

--Aphidsong's scars (other than the main one) come from her fight with Billowpelt and from when she attacked and killed the one random ThunderClan cat.

--Charhoot's parents don't think that same-sex relationships is wrong, but they are narrow minded and don't consider other possibilites like surrogacy, so they think that the only way they can have grandkits is if all their sons are in relationships with she-cats.

--Misha and Dogleaf had their own litter of kits sometime after Aphidsong left, and they are her half-siblings. She never knew they existed though because no one told her.

9 notes · View notes